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itgetsbetterproject · 4 months

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🏳️‍🌈 We asked an LGBTQ+ middle school teacher her tips for surviving the holidays for queer youth: 🏳️‍⚧️

Read and share it on our blog here.

"The most wonderful time of the year – the holidays. On the surface, holidays are strung with garlands, adorned with glittering decorations, and scored with the most jovial music. Cheesy movies show us whirlwind romances under the mistletoe, reconciled families, and communities coming together.

But, unfortunately, it’s not always that picture-perfect. For many people, the holidays can be anxiety-inducing family affairs with little escape, or a reminder of the time no longer spent with family. Especially for those of us in the LGBTQ+ community who have experienced rejection at home, this season can be the least wonderful time of the year.

So, how do we cope? I wish writing this that I could even fully answer that for myself. Today one of my students asked me how my parents responded when I came out. As always, I was honest with him – it has irreparably damaged those relationships.

A coworker overheard and motioned that she has been in the same situation; later when talking to me she remarked that our families are only missing out on us and how incredible we are.

I must remind myself often that people who do not see my value, in all of who I am, are not worthy of my time. However, it is easier to say than to feel, when wounds are barely healed and the holidays bear so many memories. I can’t pretend I have the perfect solution, but here are the things I’ve learned to help myself.

1. Be with chosen family.

Family is so often the people who are not related to us. The love and care I have been shown by people who have no biological obligation to me is astounding, especially when those who should be obligated to me can’t offer the same. Friends, who are beyond friends, with whom I spend my holidays are the ones who truly support and accept me as I am. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe as you are, and to be with the people who make you feel that way.

If you cannot physically be with your chosen family, utilize technology. A phone call or FaceTime is a great way to be present with the people you love even from a distance. Additionally, playing a video game together or using something like Netflix Party to sync up and watch a movie together can keep you connected to your chosen family.

2. Make a plan, even if it’s solo.

An aimless wandering mind is more likely to dwell on the pain and hurt you may be experiencing at the holidays. Having a plan of what you will be doing on days when you might previously have been with your family can help to distract so the day is still enjoyable. It could be as simple as what you are going to do at home, like cook a nice meal for yourself and watch a movie or have a self-care day. It could be indulging in one of your hobbies or visiting somewhere in your community you’ve always wanted to go.

You can be with others or with yourself, whichever you need, but having structure for yourself can aid in making it through this time of year. If you must be with family, you can still make a plan for what your day will look like. Maybe in the morning you help prep food or spend time outside cleaning the yard or decorating. Maybe there is a task you can take over on your own, still being helpful to your family but giving yourself space at the same time. Even if the day is structured for you, deciding how you will fit within it and make space for yourself is still important.

3. Don’t be anywhere or do anything you don’t want to.

While this might sound like obvious advice, I spent so many years being in places and doing things I had no interest in for the sake of others. You can make the choices that are right for you, even if that means distancing yourself from family or familial events. Especially if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, forming new traditions on your own and separating yourself could be healing.

Unfortunately, if you are under 18 and under your parent’s care, you might have to be in places you don’t want to. Try to bring something with you that could still be a mental escape, like a book, a game, or a sketchbook. If you have safe people in your family, try to stick by them and find the spots where you can feel more at ease.

4. Be kind to yourself.

Allow yourself to feel what you need. Maybe you don’t fully understand the anxiety the season is bringing up and are caught off guard by emotion. Or perhaps you feel irreverent about the holidays treat them with apathy. Or even a mix of both.

Whatever you are feeling, let yourself experience and process it. Try not to let the season be dictated by pain but find ways to make it joyful and new. Only you can determine what that will look like. Be gentle with yourself as you figure it out.

All in all, I believe we as queer people can carve new paths for ourselves in service of those happy holiday endings. Those endings might look different than Hallmark, and might look different for each one of us, but they are ours for the taking."

Sarah Dean is an 8th grade English teacher based in Nashville, TN with a passion for uplifting LGBTQ+ students. From her childhood in California to her new adventures in Tennessee, Dean has always loved to write, seeing words and art as a beautiful way to develop empathy and compassion for others. Deen’s school is the recipient of grant money from our 50 States. 50 Grants. 5000 Voices. initiative in both 2022 and 2023.

#it gets better #lgbtqia #queer youth #trans youth #lgbtq youth #lgbtq teacher #holigays #holiday season #lgbtq advice #queer support

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demisexualsnail · 11 months

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thinking about how little representation I had in school and how my teacher said we're gonna talk about stonewall at the end of the school year but then it never happened bc of covid.

thinking about how I knew not a single adult person who was in the lgbtq+ community.

thinking about how I wanna do better and be a light in the darkness for young students as soon as I'm gonna start teaching. Im gonna walk around with my progress pride flag stickers and gay pens :)

#pride #lgbtq #school #lgbtq teacher #teaching #gay #gay teacher

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mysharona1987 · 11 months

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#News #lgbtq #democrats #republicans #maths #science #teachers #schools #ron desantis #trump #liberals #algebra #transgender pride #pride day

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montreal-derogatory · 1 year

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trying to radiate “cool gay teacher who you can come hang out with” vibes today

#teaching #lgbtq teacher #sped #genderqueer

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queerism1969 · 1 year

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#lgbtq history #black history #world history #history #culture #anthropology #human history #archaeology #teacher #teaching #students #school #classroom #teachers #learning

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louisbxne · 9 months

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MR. AJAYI and MR. FAROUK

Heartstopper 2x06 - "Truth/Dare"

#mr ajayi #mr farouk #heartstopper #mlmedit #gay mlm #lgbtq #lgbtedit #fisayo akinade #nima taleghani #heartstopper season 2 #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper teachers

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commiepinkofag · 11 months

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Teachers with Pride Still Have to Hide

Gay schoolteachers wearing masks at parade, June 28, 1986

In this image, Seattle schoolteachers participating in the Gay Freedom Day parade through the Capitol Hill neighborhood hold a banner reading "Teachers with Pride Still Have to Hide," and wear masks to protest the discrimination they have felt. An estimated 10,000 people participated in the event, which is part of Seattle's annual Gay Pride Week.

[ 📷 Jennifer Werner-Jones / Seattle Post-Intelligencer ]

oh, how times have changed!

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yourdailyqueer · 1 month

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Louise Lawrence (deceased)

Gender: Transgender woman

Sexuality: Lesbian

DOB: Born 1912

RIP: Died 1976

Ethnicity: White - American

Occupation: Artist, activist, writer, teacher

Note: Throughout her life, Lawrence corresponded with and built an extensive network of transgender people across the Bay Area, the US, and globally. Through Lawrence's network, members connected and collectivized, sharing information about doctors, medical procedures and comparing surgical results. She was known to house transgender people, including those who had traveled to seek surgery in San Francisco.

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momgothic · 2 years

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omg soldier, poet, king is NOT a Christian worship song

folks on tiktok being like YALL DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ABOUT JESUS??? and "better take it off my dnd playlist now!!!"

it's not about jesus holy fuck, i mean, it is, but it isn't.

Dear Wormwood is a concept album that uses biblical symbolism to talk about an abusive relationship. The Oh Hellos have a whole ass THING about retelling stories (biblical, mythological etc) to use to deal with your own story which is like...a whole thing in storytelling anyway (the new testament is a monomyth yall, Hero's Journey 1.0, in that regard everything is biblical)

Dear Wormwood is put in the context of someone writing letters (inspired by The Screwtape Letters, CS Lewis) to their abuser. "Soldier, Poet, King" is from the perspective of the protagonist, on the receiving end of the abuse, who (after the song "Exeunt") is escaping from the abuse and attempting to continue their life outside of it. The person who is the soldier, poet, king, is the protagonist. "your city" is the abusive relationship. "Wormwood" is the devil of this person's life.

If you look on Genius, yeah the story is about the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. In context? It's about the Second Coming of the protagonist. The rebirth they get after escaping.

The ending song of the album, "Thus Always to Tyrants", the last line of the album is

Where I go, will you still follow? Will you leave your shaded hollow? Will you greet the daylight looming? Learn to love without consuming?

The protagonist is attempting to mentally escape from the abuse, worried about carrying the trauma into the next relationship.

Soldier Poet King is not about Jesus. It's about fighting. It's about escaping the cycle of abuse. It's about the power that resides in stories, about people who have experienced this before and succeeded. It's about using those stories and learning from them.

Keep the shit on your dnd playlist, it's sort of the whole point.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #the oh hellos #soldier poet king #gay pirates #religious trauma #there's just something that makes my english major brain itch when the oh hellos are diluted to a christain rock worship band #i dealt with enough of that when i was IN the catholic church i don't need it from the gays too #not me subtweeting one of my CCD co-teachers who MISSED the point of the album Eurus in the tags of this post that no one will see #rant #english major #lgbtq #gay

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gottagobackintime · 11 months

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James Lance + 🏳‍🌈

"As far as I know, as far as I'm aware. I'm not a gay man. I went to see Brokeback Mountain and by the time those two cowboys got it on in that tent… I was there with them. I was 100% there with them. And I mean… there was three of us in that tent. And I found it, I found it so sexy that I was like "Jeez, like, let me think about it. Am… am I a cowboy?" You know. "Am… am… am I gay? I don't think I am. I don't think so."" - James Lance Films To Be Buried With

#james lance #lgbtq+#gottagobackintime gifs #teachers #absolute power #marie antoinette #no heroics #city rats #mr. right #of kith and kin #ted lasso #murder they hope #it's been updated with another gif now #it's so funny that I started to make this gifset WEEKS ago but I wanted to wait with the Trent gif #in case we got another coming out scene or something or he got to talk about being queer #and now we have this quote from James and it's just perfect for this gifset #also I don't know if I missed a queer role of his but if I have let me know and I'll try and add it if I can find the source material

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itgetsbetterproject · 9 months

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Back-to-school tips for LGBTQ+ youth from a QUEER TEACHER!

It's that season, y'all! 🍎✏️ So we asked queer 8th grade English teacher Sarah from Memphis, TN what tips she would share with LGBTQ+ youth going back to school:

Look for supportive adults.

Is there a teacher always sporting a pride pin? Are there safe space posters hung up in their classroom or pride flags displayed? These are strong indicators that adult will affirm and uplift your identity. If you are unsure but want to test the waters, ask an adult what their pronouns are. Judging by their response and if they return the question, something small like this can help you determine if they are a safe person.

Find a queer-affirming club(s) at your school.

Does your school have a GSA or diversity club? Consider joining to build a supportive community and form connections with people you can relate to. If your school does not have a pre-existing club, consider finding an adult advisor to help and start your own GSA. Find more tips on how to do so here: https://gsanetwork.org/resources/10-steps-for-starting-a-gsa/

Trust your gut.

If you don’t feel safe in a situation, trust your instincts. If possible, remove yourself from the environment and ask for help; know that it’s ok to not share your identity with everyone, especially if you feel they are not a safe person. Conversely, if someone does make you feel safe and loved, believe that feeling too. You are in charge of who gets to know you.

Check out YA books exploring queer identities.

An amazing way to learn more about queer experiences is to read about them. There are countless young adult novels and graphic novels that can help you better understand yourself and others. Titles like��The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes, Taproot by Keezy Young, Out of Character by Jenna Miller, and Mooncakes by Wendy Xu and Suzanne Walker are all great stories to explore. For a more comprehensive list of LGBTQ+ YA books, visit https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/15/books/review/lgbtq-ya-books-authors.html

Seek social support.

What would life be like without friends? Although you may not click with everyone at your school, you are not alone. LGBTQ+ people are everywhere, even if it’s hard to see sometimes. Find friends who support your identity or are a part of the community as well!

Remember! You have every right to be exactly who you are.

You are the only person who can define your identity. The terms you use to refer to yourself can evolve over time, or can remain the same, but as long as it feels right to you that’s perfect. Believe yourself, and do not doubt your worth. Growing up is a difficult process but remember, it gets better.

Read it on the blog itgetsbetter.org too!

#itgetsbetter #queer teacher #gay teacher #lgbtq youth #queer youth #trans youth #trans kids #back to school #back to school advice #coming out at school #lgbtq advice

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heretherebedork · 4 days

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Love her and her honesty and the two teacher setting up their own little stargazing date because only the truly lucky people get to fall for an unlucky person who needs their luck.

#23.5 the series #23.5 degrees #23.5 องศาที่โลกเอียง #23 point 5 #thai drama #thai series #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #thai gl #gl drama #gl series #the teachers aren't dating yet but they will be

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mysharona1987 · 1 year

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#Books #lgbtq #florida #trans #pride #reading #literature #teachers #penguins

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queerism1969 · 7 months

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i-may-be-an-emu · 9 months

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If I had a nickel for every time two very gay-seeming male teachers took a bunch of school kids on a Europe trip and became one of the best ships in that piece of media I'd have two nickles, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

The one from heartstopper is canon they are a couple, the one from far from home is a ship that probably only exists in my own head.

#heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper #lgbtq #heartstopper teachers #mr farouk #mr ajayi #spiderman #spiderman far from home #spiderman far from home teachers #Mr Dell #Mr Harrington #Sorry for all the tags #Images are not mine

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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I decided to go through my old warm-up notebooks from my honours english class and in one of the warm-up prompts, I said I wanted my superpower to be "controlling the effects of [my] puberty," and I'm glad to say that I've gotten that superpower. It took a very long time, but that's a superpower I can check off my list

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #ngl though i felt my very soul wince while reading some of them (including that)#in my old self's defense: i was incredibly dysphoric and had Many Unresolved Issues #i also wasn't really masking in that class and didn't know i should probably not be honest with my notebook #my teacher said that she'd only grade warm-ups we wanted graded and she'd only *potentially* read others 'for fun'#also i always didn't like the 'what superpower would YOU want?' question because. it just annoyed me to know it's impossible to have #(besides the puberty superpower lmao)#as much as i believe in being kind to your past self/selves that doesn't mean i'm not cringing about it 😭#just so long as you don't turn the cringe into self-hatred i suppose #you cannot hate yourself into being better♡♡#WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IN ONE OF THE WARM-UPS I WROTE ABOUT A LESBIAN ROBOT #NEVER MIND I'M DONE CRINGING #man i should make that into a proper short story like. what a concept

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