#just don’t wanna hate myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ohno-the-sun · 1 year

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Some more thoughts about the farm au by @oobbbear

It’s been so wet lately

#fun fact if hay gets wet it’ll catch fire #reason why you don’t wanna forget to cover it when it rains #fnaf daycare attendant #sundrop #moondrop #farm au #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #I hate drawing architecture so much omg #I was like inspired by bumble but like halfway through I was like omg what have I gotten myself into #it’s just like one house but I was literally crying dying decomposing #aaaaa #fanartception #my art #I wonder if anyone will notic they’re both lying in the second comic #lol lowkey tying it into my previous comic

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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I’ve always loved medicine bc it’s the perfect intersection of science and humanity—the two things I value above all else in this world. Truly adored it since I was in the cradle. But now I’m thinking about how so much of my journey to neurosurgery will have to involve KILLING my feelings essentially bc how do you survive otherwise

#Not to mention the surprisingly high suicide rate of surgeons that’s been brought to my attention lately #Honestly I just started my neuro internship and just saw my first patient in clinic #And on the day I did I was critical of my neurologist for being so robotic about it #Now I can see why #I’m still at a point where I can’t even do a chart review for a patient without feeling so fucking sad #And I can see how that can get unsustainable after a while #But it’s like if I kill the feelings that drive my passion for medicine to begin with then what’s the point #It’s not like I’m in it for the money or prestige bc that’s so dumb considering how long the schooling is #But literally how to deal #My supervisors at the clinic very much all speak about the dementia patients w a learned impartialness #But I don’t wanna be that way one day :( but how to be anything else and still survive #I’m pre med so I still have time and maybe my opinion will change and I’ll wanna do another specialty #But when it comes to this every specialty will involve human lives and navigating that regardless #That said I can see why surgeons are at higher risk or depression suicide etc #The whole point of this internship is to teach myself how to navigate this stuff but. Hate it #p #med tag

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imsodunwiththis · 2 years

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Person: why are you acting like that?

Me: oh I’m sorry was I mental illnessing wrong!?

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solargeist · 8 days

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despite my previous post, I don’t know how to handle when people talk abt things I don’t know or understand bc I focus too hard on my own reactions so I don’t accidentally offend them bc there’s only so many times you can say “oh really?” before you sound sarcastic ‼️💥

#LIKE I DONT WANNA ONE RESPONSE THEM BC I HATE THAT TOO YKNOW !!#i get saur nervous #it’s an even tighter pickle when it’s a media I dislike bc I don’t like lying or being rude so I go into customer service mode #but usually I’m interested or like to hear without wanting to seek it out myself #but it’s one of those social skill (?) struggle moments where I don’t know what to do but I try . but end up nervous #job interview ass #‘’right! yeah. uh huh! really!’’ (I feel like the devil !!!)#ALSO THIS IS ALL WORSE IN PERSON BC I WILL NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT AND I THINK IT MAKES ME LOOK SOO BORED BUT IM JUST TRYING TO HEAR #ur honour im turning my ears toward you #also looking at peoples face make me feel exposed and I will immediately focus more on my position again #there is just too much work ‼️‼️‼️‼️🤮🤮🤮🤮#ive stopped trying with the eyes it’s too stressful my heart races #in my head I’m like And this is where I ask a specific question abt this part of the topic ! as if it’s a puzzle (it’s a puzzle to me)#i Hope i dont sound like a hypocrite I was mostly joking in my other post I think I’m aware of when I’m doing too much phphph

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unknowinglydeceasedlol · 2 months

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it’s always “how do you think they’ll feel when something happens to you?” but never “how do you feel about having to be pushed to this point?”

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the-crimson · 11 months

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I’m not sure how to word my sadness while scrolling through the qsmp tag this morning. There was only one person that I saw (well I saw other people mentioning them as id blocked them about a week ago lmao) stiring the pot and being negative/racist while most others were either reacting to the cesspool that is Twitter or that one person which was kind of creating an echo chamber of worry/negativity.

Unfortunately there isn’t really anything we can do about the assholes other than block and move on. Don’t engage with them as they are looking for that. They want outrage and drama.

The only thing we can do is be extra positive towards the ccs. Encourage them, make more fan content supporting their rp choices, engage in the fandom in a positive way to drown out the negative.

The qsmp is very special. Don’t let the ass holes ruin it for you. Take a break from Twitter if you need to. Block people and report them for hate speech if need be. Be a positive force to counter the negativity

Forever and Cellbit were talking about cross banning everyone shitting on Bagerah and I think that is the best way we can also proceed. Don’t give the assholes any attention. Don’t argue with them. Just block and move on/continue supporting the ccs.

Please don’t let this fandom turn into the dsmp fandom

#qsmp #crimson speaks #discourse #dsmp mention #we’ve already lost a few Spanish ccs to the hate #let’s try not to lose others #I’d say just stop using twitter #but that’s where most of the ccs are #and if the positive fandom stopped using Twitter the ccs would only see the negative #:/#I’ve never used Twitter #that shit would be terrible for my mental health #I kinda wanna delete and rewrite my post about the forever Leo situation #cuz I wrote it when it was three in the morning #and I don’t think I worded myself properly/it came off more negative than I intended #I love all the choices cc!forever has made #his character is fascinating and not perfect #like every character #and that’s a good thing

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chrollohearttags · 8 months

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yk, I’d be waaay more inclined to believe this whole ‘I’m sick of x, y and z trope w black writers/readers’ IF y’all didn’t make it contingent upon what and who was popular. I’m starting to think y’all only care when it’s a fandom or set of characters you don’t like. Or like anymore rather lmao.

#bc somebody can go and write plug Gojo or getuo rn and it’ll blow up #but y’all hate eren and connie fics all of a sudden #cherry chats 🍒#it was a different tune a year ago but what do EYE know 🌚#lemme hush befire I talk myself into another break #discourse #rants #black writers #black writblr #idk y’all have this same convo every two wks but it’s only for certain ppl #I see toxic g*jo fics all the time and not an eye blinked #but bc y’all all of a sudden don’t like aot for whatever reason #they’re so toxic to black women #please shut the fuck up omg :(#like just say you only wanna see what’s popular and go #but let’s nawt bash other black ppl for what they wanna write #your experiences are not universal #okay back into hiding I go

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wrongcaitlyn · 10 days

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yk what just kinda frustrates me a bit? it’s that whenever someone hates on taylor swift, i need to defend her, not bc i think she can do no wrong ever, but because they always choose the wrong things to criticize.

like if someone tries to say shit abt the i hate it here 1830s lyric to me? i’m obligated to point out that uh no it’s not racist, literally look at the next fucking line, you idiot. she’s saying the exact opposite of what you’re implying. nostalgia is a mind’s trap.

and if someone tries to call her a climate terrorist, then i’m going to have to point out that yes, she uses a private plane a lot, but she’s not even in the top 30 of celebs with highest carbon emissions. if you really want to criticize a celebrity and not the huge factories/companies that are polluting the air, then focus on travis scott

but like?? you could literally choose any argument that doesn’t have to do with literal false information. or better yet, you don’t even need a reason! say you don’t vibe with her music and that is literally none of my business. good for you. enjoy whatever music you like. but don’t try and put yourself on this moral pedestal for hating on this musician who doesn’t even know you exist and let me listen to the grand theft auto lyric in peace.

#wrongcaitlyn #both of these have been told to me at school bc i’m like the resident swiftie #and it’s just?? so fucking frustrating???#like honestly even if they criticized the charlie puth or golden retriever line like i would have no defense #those are silly lyrics and i can vibe with them but if you don’t it’s fine #but when they go for such stupid arguments?? like really?? can you not think of anything better??#oh right. you can’t. bc there’s literally not a reason i know of to hate this woman SO vehemently that you have to include it in every #conversation #i never bring up taylor swift at school #just bc i’m worried of coming off as annoying and obsessed (which tbf i am but i keep it to myself and online)#and yet i still end up talking abt her like 3 times a day because PEOPLE bring her up to ME #so am i (the swiftie) really the one so obsessed with taylor swift here?#honestly this may be incoherent i’m half asleep rn #but like i’m just sick of having to repeat the same arguments and coming off as some crazed fan just bc i wanna wear a taylor sweatshirt

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nosleep83 · 5 months

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I hate having a transphobic family sm

#I used to think ‘yeah they’re transphobic which obviously sucks but at least I’m a girl so I don’t have to worry abt them not accepting me’#but then BAM #I don’t think I’m completely a girl and wanna use he/him pronouns #what the fuck am I supposed to do now 😭😭#this is so frustrating I hate it #sleep vents #tw vent #kind of #it’s mainly just venting in tags #trans #kind of. idk if I wanna call myself trans I just want to be a boy and a girl #which probably fits under the trans umbrella but idk

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that-was-anticlimactic · 25 days

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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

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pinkspiraling · 8 months

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i wonder if he thought about me today

#i wanna text him so bad but he’ll want me to come over and i’m on a vacation now #but i just wanna know how his week is :( but we don’t talk like that #oh my god i’m so embarrassed with myself. we don’t talk like that…WHY AM I WANTING MORE i hate it #pink never shuts up

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theratisbackanditsinyourkitchen · 8 months

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What’s y’all’s opinion on a mafia au? Enemies to lovers? Detective angel x David? Angst? It gives the vibes of the song teeth? Also smut? How we feeling it?

#if I get enough hype (enough being like one person) I’ll start a third fic #it would be long #cus I’m stupid #and also this has been cooking in my skull for a while now #I just don’t know if I wanna hate myself…#redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted audio #redacted #writing #redacted angel #redacted david #ao3

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imsodunwiththis · 2 years

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when it says TW and reading it anyway knowing you’ll get triggered