Some more thoughts about the farm au by @oobbbear

It’s been so wet lately

Like Rain Meets Oil

Cairo Sweet x Artist!Fem!Reader

Summary: You find Cairo alone in the dark, as you fight over your darkest secrets in the night sky

Warnings: Smoking, mentions of suicide, Mr. Miller mentioned, teacher x student mentions,

Somewhat angst…and some fluff at the end

(Please do not read if these affect you)^^

Enjoy ^_^

y/e/c: Your eye color

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rain

One of your favorite time of days, is when it rains..especially when it’s dark

Taking a stroll down a wet path, the sidewalk had puddles of water on it. The street lights glimmered in the reflection of the puddles. Avoiding the puddles as to not get your shoes wet, even if you were a bit drenched already.

It wasn’t typical for you to stroll in the middle of the night as it rained, (not that the rain was spouting down hard) you rather enjoyed rain indoors..as you did whatever thing you enjoy at this time.

Strolling down by the gates of your school. Yes, gates at a school, this wasn’t just any high school in particular..this school was quite fancy…just for some high school in Tennessee.

The schools gates were tall, could keep intruders out..but in this case someone had either broken in or…was here for a reason.

The gate was slightly opened

Now, were you an adventurous person?

Yes

Did you like sneaking into places?

Probably

In this case it was curiosity of who would be sneaking around in the school at this time.

Maybe some dirty teenagers or some..homeless person..? Who knows, but you were persistent to find out anyways.

You whipped right past the gate, making sure no one was looking and approached the school. It looked rather strange in the dark, as-well as rain covering it. You noticed how the entrance to the library had a light shinning over it, did the janitor forget to turn off the light?

Odd. Getting closer to the door you opened it with ease, someone had definitely broken in..or.gotten in at least..because who breaks into a school?

Warmer air hit you once entering the building, you were on the backside of the library. The back rooms.

Shutting the door behind you and walking further in and out of the backrooms. It was warm oddly..and pretty much dark. You strolled through the dark isles of books..not being able to tell what the book covers said because of how dark it was

Your eyes caught something over by the library’s large window, the moonlight was gleaming inside the library..so there was some light..but that wasn’t what caught your eye..

Someone else was here, for sure.

Someone was sitting in the lounge area, holding a cigarette in hand..they were facing forward so you couldn’t tell who it was…but they obviously weren’t exactly a thief…hopefully

“I know you’re there, you can stop hiding…”

They spoke.

You recognized their voice, you more than likely knew who it was. And it wasn’t a surprise why they were here.

“Walking around here at night is dangerous, especially for someone like you..”

They spoke again. Walking in their direction you walked further enough to see who it was.

Cairo Sweet

“What is it about me that makes it dangerous for me to wander here?” You asked, not facing her direction since you knew it was her.

She chuckled

“You are weak, naive and impulsive. You wouldn’t notice if someone was stalking you, maybe kidnap you..”

You couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not, but she takes another puff of her cigarette..which was another thing lighting in the library other than the moonlight.

“Hm..those are gonna kill you ya know.” You ignore her comments about you and referred to her cigarette. “Also, what makes you think I’m weak?”

“It’s just the truth…face it,” she rolls her eyes. “And I don’t care, I can smoke if I want.”

She obviously didn’t like your company

“I’m just warning ya…and I didn’t ask whether it was a true or false statement…I wanna know why you think I’m weak.” You snide, turning to face her now..you could see her features now..as yours was being shown half of light and dark..

“You’re attitude says enough, you can be too nice for anyone to take you seriously…you’re just too impulsive that anyone with a strong personality could make up a lie and you’d believe it.” She inhaled once more. “And for your kindness you think being nice to them you’ll expect it back? Pretty low from you..”

You could tell she hated that you followed her, how you talked back without hesitation.

“I don’t like making verbal or physical fights.”

“Right, you’re just too afraid of fighting and making confrontation. And it’s not like you can anyway…all a strong person needs to do is raise their voice and you’ll…cower or something..” Cairo snickers.

“I’m not afraid. I’m just trying to be a better person from who I used to be. You can either end up on the streets selling weed or…dead.”

It’s true, you used to be selfish..a no good person. Attempted multiple things…like selling drugs..you almost attempted suicide.. and some assholes in the world end up in those places…jail even

“Well, that just lets me know how you think. The fact you basically said you only see two bad pathways in life, as if there isn’t more..to be scum of the earth..or a naive child..it’s just pathetic. No wonder you are delusional and nice, you don’t consider other possibilities. You only focus on the extreme and completely oblivious anything other..”

Damn, she hand a point..the fact you looked down only two pathways..one’s you could more than likely live off on

Cairo finishes her cigarette, and crushes the rest of it on the tip of her shoe

“What makes you think you have the upper hand over me? Because..I think I remember someone coming in here without permission…

Oh right, Cairo Sweet, getting into trouble again. I mean hey, I’m not the one breaking into places and smoking weed on school grounds.”

“Are you threatening me? Telling on me? That has to be the worst comeback I’ve heard today. What are you? A child?

Oh wait…you are because you’re so naive you don’t even know all the bad things..I should be impressed you know the word ‘weed’….” Cairo laughs, laying her leg on the other.

“I’m not a child, and..it seems like I’ve hit a weak spot because..you are jumping to conclusions now..I didn’t say I’d tell on ya..”

You were now looking straight at her, arms crossed and eyebrows lowered

She scoffs, “I can read read between the lines to figure you out, you can’t hide the obvious. Why would you bring up something about me smoking weed in a school if not to threaten me? Because you were concerned, please, as if you care.” She was also staring right back at you, those brown eyes glaring right into your y/e/c.

“You said it yourself, I’m nice. But you are lucky I’m not letting anyone know about your…weed.

But also..I remember two years ago you were the one seducing Jonathan Miller our professor…wasn’t he like..fifty two? Yet you only seduced him to then get him in trouble because he was trying to fuck you all because you were mad he rejected your writing. Which was literal porn you had written!”

Cairo was in shock. She wasn’t expecting for you to spill her life. And she as a bit pissed too

“H-how do you know about that?”

“Oh please, I have bigger eyes and bigger brain than you think Miss Sweet.”

Her face grows back to arrogance and confidence again

“So you think you’ve got the upper hand now because you know my secrets, but that doesn’t mean you know anything about me.”

“Maybe I don’t know much about you. But how you cut your words towards me, and what you did two years ago. Tells me a lot.”

You were smiling now, you had her

“Oh, and I’m sure your ex best friend hates you now, that you practically used her during that time. Winnie did talk to me.”

Winnie and you became friends not long ago. Yeah she’s odd and sex positive or whatever…but she seemed so upset about what Cairo did to her

She freezes, for a moment..losing her vanity..she just froze at your words..

“Winnie…you talked to Winnie?” She looks at you in disbelief.

“Yes, I did.” You stood there proud, crossed arms and hiding back a smile.

“How’d you talk to Winnie? She left mid semester last year, and blocked me on everything..what did she tell you?”

Cairo was furious..but also in complete disregard as well

“I’m not going to tell you what she said, but she managed to get my number somehow and then we met up to chat.”

Winnie called you on a random Sunday, saying she’d meet you at a coffee shop in town. You weren’t sure why, but obliged anyways..

“She called you?” “Yeah.” “What did she say about me?…I wanna know..because when she left, she made it clear she didn’t want me in her life anymore.”

Winnie did talk a lot about Cairo, she cried about how mean she was and what she did to Miller that Winnie told her not to do…

“I’m not saying anything, she told me not to tell you.”

Cairo’s eyebrows furred, she wasn’t liking the fact you weren’t giving her a direct answer

“You can’t tell me one thing? She may not be in my life anymore but why can’t you tell me? I just…want to know…please.” She pleaded, she was sitting more stiff on the lounge chair.

“Begging now huh? Seems like I do have the upper hand..” you smirk

Her face turns red in both anger and embarrassment. But she ignores your comment

“Just tell me one thing..just one..” you could hear the irritation in her voice.

“Can’t.”

Cairo takes a deep breath, her hands clenching so hard the veins in her hands were pulsing…

“Why? Why can’t you tell me at least one thing….?”

“Because I’m respecting her boundaries..unlike you.”

Her body felt numb..it was like as if you paralyzed her. Her face dropped to guilt and…sadness..she started to feel worse about herself. She had all this confidence but now it was…gone..

“What? Did I say too much? Did I break your cold heart? That’s too bad…because mines been broken too many times…and you don’t even realize you’ve broken Winnie’s too.”

Her silence spoke volumes, as she looked down at her feet

“I…I…I may have done wrong things…but that doesn’t make her any better than me. She’s done bad things too…”

“I’m aware, she was like the..schools ‘slut’ or whatever but..at least she didn’t go apeshit over a writing rejection. She did mention how she tried to stop you from getting Mr. Miller fired.”

Cairo bit her lip, “she’s who should have kept her mouth shut..” she murmured.

“You said you wanted to know one thing, well, there you go.”

Cairo fell silent again, her heart was racing at your words..she was thinking hard..

You sighed, walking over to her and sitting in a chair across from her.

“You can have a change of heart.

If I did, you can..”

Her eyes were directed back at her shoes, the cigarette bud left a mound on her shoe..

“So, you’re actually being..decent now..why?”

“Like you said..I’m weak..it’s because I’m too nice for my own good..you just haven’t seen the other side of me…”

She looks at you again, her eyes filled with curiosity and concern…

“How scary…” she says sarcastically

You sighed, “no kidding..you are and ass..”

Cairo smirked, “I’ve been told so..and I don’t disagree. I put it at my charming personality…which makes people think I am…don’t you think?” She mocks.

You looked into her eyes, trying to find some kind of hope in her…

“Not really, there is a good version of you in there…you’ve just forgotten her..Winnie told me so..”

Cairo’s eyes water a bit..concerned and confusion..

“Sh-she said that?”

“Yeah..Cairo, she misses you..”

The dark brunettes eyes tear up more, a tear slipped down her cheek…emotions were pealing through..her gaze didn’t move away from yours

“The good you.”

You stood up from the seat, walking past Cairo..walking towards the exit of the library..

Cairo was still processing this…she didn’t even notice you get up and leave..

“W-wait!” She stood up from her seat and walked in your direction before stopping..

You stopped in your tracks and turned to face her

“She…misses me?”

“Yeah..she does..”

“But…why? Why would she miss me? After everything I did to her..”

You pursed your lips, looking down for a moment before back into her eyes

“You think about that for a moment. You think about who you are now..compared to before Miller..think of the differences on why she wants you back.”

You turn around and walk to the library doors

“I’ll be in the art room when your ready to talk.”

Cairo was left in shock. She couldn’t help but let the tears flow down her face.

She was so angry at herself, not realizing how much it affected her old best friend. Winnie deserved the world, Winnie must’ve really actually liked Cairo..but she didn’t truly see that and went off to ruin someone’s life instead

You told her right. Told her how she was in the wrong, even if you weren’t apart of it..she still respected that you were right.

Cairo sighed, taking a big breath before strolling down to the art room, she was all of a sudden afraid…nervous..

She found herself in front of the art room, opening the door as it was a bit brighter inside. Her eyes caught you sitting in a small chair in the corner of the room, waiting patiently

“Ready?”

Cairo nodded, walking over in your direction

“Good, have a seat.” You sat up from the chair, telling her to sit in it

She sits down in it, looking at you as you walked over to an easel that had a painting which had a sheet draped over it

“So, will Winnie..ever forgive me? Would she be willing to have me back in her life?”

“I didn’t say anything about her forgiving you.”

More tears dripped from Cairo’s face, “she hates me still?”

You sighed, starting to feel bad

“I hate to say it but uhm..yeah…she does..”

“Did…did I really push her away..that much she’d be willing to talk to someone about me? I mean, I didn’t think she’d actually hate me this much…and you probably hate me too.”

You ripped the sheet off the painting, it revealed two people (genders not specified) holding each other. The painting showed from their waist to their heads as different colors of red painted the large canvas.

Cairo was confused, she looked at the painting…amazed but..unsatisfied at what you were trying to point out

“It resembles love and hate.”

Cairo looked at you, “so..you hate me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

She was still puzzled…

“Then..what do you feel?”

“Absolutely nothing…”

She looked back at the painting..then the floor, “so- but how come you are still here and talking to me? Yet you feel nothing….”

She was right..that didn’t make sense for you to care about her so much..you’d talk to her..about her past and acting like you felt bad..

“Because feeling both love and hate for someone, makes you feel numb.”

You loved her? And hated her?

Cairo’s eyes widen, her jaw dropped. A million thoughts were running through her head..she felt numb too, she didn’t say anything..just silence..

“That is what the painting resembles..there isn’t any emotion or much interaction between these people…” you pointed at the painting. “Are they in love? Do they hate on another? Do they feel both? Yes.”

She looked at you when you said yes

“This is the exact situation between you and Winnie

She hates you, but she can’t help but love you”

Cairo understood now. Winnie still cared for her, she just couldn’t see her because she’s afraid…Cairo hated that she let her writing take a hold of her and make her do a bad thing…

“So..she’s numb because of me?”

“Exactly, and you wanna know who else you’ve made numb?”

She looks up at you when you stand in front of her

“Me.”

A tear. One tear falls at that word…you…she let all her emotions plow through before even putting the people who care for her first..

“Am I really that terrible? That I pushed Winnie and you away…”

“I like you Cairo, I really like you. It’s, just the things you’ve said and done made me hate you…but when I know there’s still good in you…I can’t stop loving you..”

It all hits her like a bullet. She didn’t know everything she did affected you, and Winnie.

She was so guilt tripped…she didn’t even think about you at the time. You two knew each other during the Miller thing…she didn’t notice how much you liked her and how Winnie cared for Cairo..trying to help her undo the bad

She felt numb..she hated you the moment you walked in the library..the moment she saw you again..since she saw your beautiful face in the moonlight she fell in love..

“I’m sorry..”

Cairo was crying, she’s never felt this emotional since she last spoke with Winnie…

You knelt down in front of her, looking in her broken eyes. She really needed a hug…something…

“Here…”

You patted your lap as you sat down on the cold floor

Hell broke through and she fell into your arms, crying her heart out. Saying she was sorry over and over again…

“Shhh..shhh..it’s okay..it’s okay..” you muttered into her hair, she was latched onto you like a leech..sucking your heart into hers…she needed love..all she wanted was to be loved..

“I know I said some things too…I’m sorry..I know you’re hurting..I know you need love..”

You were crying, she didn’t understand why and why were you apologizing?

“Just know I need it too, I’ve been so nice to you…and..you broke my heart..by rejecting my offer of help..and you just threw yourself to the wolves…when I needed you…and you needed me…”

Cairo held your hand, putting it against her cheek. “No, I should be apologizing…I hurt you..I hurt Winnie..I didn’t even know it either but I was hurting myself…”

“I love you too Y/n, so much…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: low key balling rn…

I didn’t even mean to make it this emotional at the end 😭

I did really like it though I enjoyed writing it..i maybe spent like a few hours..even if it seems short..I think? Lol..I’m writing this before editing

I might write another one of her because I love Cairo sm..maybe I’ll do a Cairo x Winnie or Cairo x Winnie x Fem if y’all are down? 😏

Congrats again! How about a little fic with Nathan drake? Maybe something along the lines of them flirting all the time with a little suggestiveness? 👀👀

7k sleepover 🦋  |  ask box  |  taglist  | main masterlist

w/c: 543

warnings: explicit language, suggestive

a/n: thank you lovely i hope you enjoy! also sorry i’m slow on the requests y’all i’m getting a lot of them so pls be patient <3

you and nathan got caught in the rain while heading back to your hotel. you were out exploring with him and sully, but sully came back a while ago. since he officially turned in for the night, nate invited you up to his hotel room to hang out and dry off.

the two of you squish in your shoes the whole way there. you kick off your scuffed sneakers once you get to nate’s room, and him his boots. you try wringing out your clothes that are heavy with water, leaving the floor a sopping mess. nathan springs to action and grabs you a towel from the bathroom.

“here, you’re soaking wet.”

“how’d you know?”

nathan chuckles and wraps the towel around your shoulders.

“i have that effect on people. lemme get you a change of clothes.”

he squeezes your shoulders. you smile at him, pulling on either end of the towel to tighten it around you. you take a seat on one of the beds. nate peels his wet shirt off his body, then starts to root through his things. he comes over to the bed with your clothes; a t-shirt and sweats.

“these okay?”

you shamelessly stare at nathan’s abs. he hands you the clothes.

“yeah, thanks.”

“don’t mention it.”

nate flops onto the other bed, laying on the pillows with his hands behind his head. his head is tilted up towards the ceiling, abs flexing with the deep breaths he takes. it’s hard for you to think straight when he’s half naked in front of you.

“aren’t you forgetting something?”

“hm?”

“a shirt.”

“thought you’d prefer me without one.”

“oh, nate. i love your confidence.”

“you were just checking me out, y/n.”

you purse your lips, a smile threatening to break though.

“was i that obvious?”

nathan pats the bed.

“come over here.”

you put down your change of clothes and join nathan on his bed. you’re still engulfed in your towel, running your hands up and down your arms in an attempt to get warm. nate looks over at you.

“you wanna get under the blankets?”

“but i’m all wet.”

“i could take care of that.”

your raise a stern brow.

“seriously, y/n/n. get under. you must be freezing.”

“only if you get under with me.”

nate untucks the covers on his side and goes under them. he looks at you expectantly. you shed your towel and slip into the bed with him to be met with warmth, from nate and the blankets. nate moves closer to you.

“you know why sully bailed on us earlier?”

“‘cause he can’t keep up.”

“that’s one reason.”

“there’s another?”

nathan’s eyes lock with yours.

“i asked him to.”

you grin.

“you did? why?”

“wanted to spend some time alone with you.”

“and sully agreed?”

“gladly. he’s sick of us. if i hadn’t asked, he probably would’ve ditched us himself.”

you cozy into nate’s side, chin resting on his shoulder.

“remind me why we keep him around again.”

nathan loops one of his strong arms around your middle.

“his money, and his connections.”

“shit, you’re right. by the way, where do you wanna go next time?”

nate’s fingers caress your side, lips forming a smirk.

“got a few places i’d like to explore.”

tags: @hollandsangel @parkerctrl @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @magicalxdaydream @tayyx @peterficrecs @fishingirl12 @raajali3 @niktwazny303 @marvelgurl

♡    ╱    SUNDAY BRUNCH SENTENCE STARTERS ( created using chapel's 2017 album sunday brunch. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )

"you're nothing like your mother said you'd be"

“why do i bother?”

“this high is getting the best of me”

“don’t deny you made me choose”

“all the things you made me do.”

“you were all the rage of 89′“

“what i’d do to you doesn’t compare to how you never keep me in line.”

“i’m so caught up in the shit that the world throws at me”

“the only girl i loved is married to someone else”

“why do you always do the same things?”

“how are you?”

“i wanna be free to do what i want to like i used to when i was young.”

“my room still smells like the dreams that died long ago”

“i hate the thoughts that develop when you’re all alone”

“i’d rather be broke than brain dead”

“my friends are all hitched and happy”

“i’m working all week but my ends don’t meet”

“it’s all the same”

“i could use a break”

“we know we’ll never see the money”

“we’re better on our own”

“we’ve got soul”

“i just want a chance to break the mold”

“i’m a boujie ass bitch deep down in my bones”

“i haven’t washed clothes in six weeks”

“what’s wrong with you?”

“i’m missing getting high with brian”

“my brain is fried”

“i ain’t even trying”

“i need to know where i should go”

“i’m praying for some sort of miracle from you”

“i’m waiting for someone to take me home”

“you got me messed up”

“i always find a reason to run into you”

we got that history that’s something you can’t teach”

“he’s got the master key”

“he’s a crying little bitch that doesn’t get it up”

“she’s a tennessee ten”

“she doesn’t get enough”

“i’m trying to make it rain”

“i wanted all of you”

“i feel like such a fool”

“why do you do this to me?”

“our session’s overdue”

“love’s just not made for two”

“you’re such a mystery”

“i need a little extra credit”

“i need that guilty free”

“i’m sitting at home in my boxers”

“thinking we were meant to be”

“i hope i’m figured out by the time i’m thirty”

“i’m tired of waking up to ramen”

“forever seems lonely without you”

“i hate the way it feels”

“can we go back to the taste of something real?”

“i will always wait for you”

“i think i’m in love with you”

“i can’t get enough of you”

“don’t you love me too?”

“she’s kinda classic”

“she had me sprung just a little prematurely”

“she ghosted my two-for-twenty”

“it’s a cheap date when you’re eating alone”

“does he bore you half to death?”

“should’ve listened to what your momma said”

“i wanna find love, whatever that means”

“i missed seeing your face today”

“waiting for death to call me up”

“i have a lifetime of things to say”

“i hate the smell around this home cause it reminds me of who it once belonged to”

“when will it go away?”

“hurting’s such an ugly taste”

“what if we were wrong?”

“what if when we die there is no one?”

“i was hoping i might see you again”

“i miss saying that i’m okay”

“i’m craving your sweet tea”

“mom isn’t make it quite the same”

“i gotta sleep with the tv on”

“i still hum your favourite songs”

“i’m forgetting how it goes”

“i would be so scared”

“tell me abut the boy you love”

“you vandalised your past with achievements you’re making”

“a splash of paint can be covered in a weekday”

“show me what love feels like”

“i’ve never felt it”

“was it the sex i gave or the lies i told?”

“to hell with you”

“did i care too much?”

“was i just too cold?”

“i messed it up now i’m all alone”

“in the morning i take my daily dose of stress”

“black out just to make it through the day”

“i wanna get drunk with my friends again”

“as my hair recedes, i still don’t know what’s best for me”

“to hell with me”

06/23/2023 Click here for Spotify, Apple Music, or Youtube. “We Make the Party” is my 49th official release. This song is party music. The song was recorded, mixed and mastered by Sam Peters from La Luna Recordings in Kalalamazoo Michigan. The beat is by Keyano and the cover art is made by xoxodesigns from fiverr.

This is part of the “Party Politics” (unofficial) album. While writing that content I made a deal with myself that if I made club music I would talk about global warming. Like with my song “God Damn” I wanted to talk about global warming in club music in an attempt to bring a dose of reality to an audience that typically runs from their problems. 

It’s worth mentioning I see a tid bit of cosmic luve semantics in this release. Leaving off from April 2023 CosmicLuve.com post Sun it just turned summer on the June 21st. To celebrate, and like Hailee says in “SunKissin,” “Come and catch a wave, Fade away like it rains in the summertime (In the summertime).” On the 22nd Hailee posted her magazine feature in The Laterals as their “summer girl.” I think she was also featured in another magazine for the start of summer but I didn’t screenshot her story yesterday which is where I think I saw it.

Hailee’s lyrics reminds me of my lyrics from this release: “I’mma be frank, let me tell you, cousin nothing feels as good as her in summer. We make it hot like global warming; more drought, yet the coast is storming.” I did not do this on purpose. I’ve had this song finished for a year before uploading it and I essentially picked it’s upload position randomly like 4 months ago.  When these things happen I’m just as surprised as you are.

You can see me talk about this blog post from last Sunday’s Update immediately below. I only had a paragraph written at the time of this (June 18) Sunday update and added the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th paragraphs later in the week. I'll be sure to add the updated blog post to June 25th's Sunday Update.

Lyrics

We make the party poppin

Oh no we ain’t shy

We make the party poppin

We got that fire

We make the party poppin

We make the energy

We make the party poppin

We make the chi

We make the party poppin

We show’um what we got

We make the party poppin

We make it hot

When I step to the mic, it’s like a guiding light

But the beat make you wanna slide side to side

I got that heat, a G, straight fire

Disabled brain but yet I’m hired

What you got, and what you bringin

How you doin, how you feelin 

Tell me why not and what’s the reason

We could talk about the function 

Or get rambunctious

You know what happens when we make assumptions 

Make an ass of you and me

Like ride’n donkeys in the street

I’m happy you agree

I’m just rap’n on the beat

Gi’me that gi’me that I love the gushy

Love is the best thing next to get’n pussy

We make the party poppin

Oh no we ain’t shy

We make the party poppin

We got that fire

We make the party poppin

We make the energy

We make the party poppin

We make the chi

We make the party poppin

We show’um what we got

We make the party poppin

We make it hot

Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it

Do the damn thing like it ain’t nothing 

I’mma be frank, let me tell you, cousin 

Nothing feels as good as her in summer

We make it hot like global warming

More drought, yet the coast is storming

We recognize reality and live accordingly

And hold corporations responsible for performing

Production that pollutes, it’s something to view

Plastics in the ocean and you swallow it with food

Been happening forever, but to you it’s news

We gotta come together, and help out Blue

But forget it, and dismiss it, not trippin you won’t listen

Just don’t get surprised when your kids get indignant

Put your drinks up, cheers us 

If you like to feel love

We’re running a surplus 

Come and get some 

We make the party poppin

Oh no we ain’t shy

We make the party poppin

We got that fire

We make the party poppin

We make the energy

We make the party poppin

We make the chi

We make the party poppin

We show’um what we got

We make the party poppin

We make it hot

We make it hot

We make it hot

Mind empty just big bro Geto taking care of us after a long day, I need to cry my eyes out and have that man give me his dick afterwards fr

Comforting(?) incest below the cut lol

“Hey.” His voice is whisper soft as he enters your room slowly, frowning at the lack of light engulfing you.

“G-go away.” You hiccup, too distraught to really have any bite. Buried under your blankets, the pouring rain outside matched how you felt on the inside, tears staining your pillowcase to boot.

You could hear Suguru close the door and walk into your room but there wasn’t a shred of motivation inside you to tell him to go away twice. A sad and pitiful groan with a soft ‘no’ was all you could muster as he peeled away the covers and joined you in bed.

“Tell me what happened.” All he knew was that you were going out on some date - something he detested with a passion.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” Even with Suguru pulling you close you still curled in on yourself even more. He was surprised when he realized you had one of his large t-shirts on, the scent of his cologne strongly clinging to the fabric.

“Okay, you don’t have to.” With enough pulling, he got you to roll over, even if you were still curled into a ball when he hugged your head to his chest.

It started out innocent, Getous hand rubbing circles in your back, slowly getting you to unravel and straighten out, intertwine your legs together and wrap your arms around him.

“Boys are fucking stupid.” You finally spoke, sniffling like a child.

“That’s why you need a man.” And he was exactly the man you needed. The only man you needed.

You laughed a little, a weak sound but it came out nonetheless. As you eased up, you didn’t mind when Suguru’s hand snuck under the hem of your shirt.

“Your big brother is all you need, (Y/N).” Palming your ass, Suguru forced his breathing to be steady. Pushing your thigh over his hip, his fingers were able to reach your cunt.

“I-I know.” Your breathing hitched but for a different reason now. Sugurus fingers were just brushing against your clit, making you squirm and press yourself closer to him.

“Will you let me show you? How good I can be to you?” Tilting your chin up, he pressed warm kisses to your face.

You couldn’t find the words to speak, so you let Suguru push you onto your back, his body pressed against you even more now with a distinct hardness against your thigh.

“Your big brother loves you the most, don’t forget.”

a year in the life | rockstar! s.s.

pairing: rockstar!sebastian stan x writer!reader

main work: i wanna know what love is

season: autumn 🍁

a/n: in celebration of 4 major works of mine turning one this year (my babies, cannot believe it’s been a year) and based on the reboot of gilmore girls, i will be revisiting my works per season. we are starting with autumn and rockstar!seb. hope you enjoy xx

Y/N laid on the big chez lounge couch in the middle of her living room, surrounded by her children’s toys, with a large bowl of Doritos on her lap as the Real Housewives played on the background. For the very first time since forever, she was alone at home; Jess and Marion were at their respective schools while Sebastian was busy in the studio, doing some rearrangements to a new album. She loved the three of them more than anything but she knew that she would’ve never had the chance to eat Doritos without Sebastian complaining it was unhealthy for her or her children trying to take a bite. Lately, all she wants is to lay low, bask in her leave from work and watch some trashy TV. 

As her eyes were getting heavier and heavier with sleep when the front door opened, sending her back into alert mood. Luckily, it wasn’t no one trying to break in but her husband who still couldn’t open doors without making a big ruckus about it. 

     - I’m sorry, bunny. -  he stepped back as he recognised his wife’s sleepy face. - I thought you’d be in the bedroom. 

     - Can’t move. - she pointed at her bulging bump covered by one of his old jumpers which seemed to be the only thing that fully covered her at this particular stage. Sebastian chuckled, walking over to her to quickly kiss her, hand caressing her bump through the jumper. - Didn’t expect you to be home so early.

      - I can see. - he pointed at the bowl of Doritos on her lap. - You’re supposed to be the prudent one. 

    - I’m carrying your offspring. It makes me make bad decisions. - she teased, cuddling against him as he sat by her side, worn out slightly loose black leather jacket still on. - How are the boys?

    - Fighting about who gets to be godfather this time.

    - Did you tell them my brother is gonna be the godfather?

    - Now, where would the fun be in that, bunny? - he smirked, with that boyish like looks he still managed to remain after all these years. 

    - Stop it. - she leaned towards him to kiss him. 

    - How are you feeling today? - his hand mindlessly rubbed her bump, feeling the little moves of the baby whenever the baby moved. - Little one is a bit feisty today.

    - It’s been like this all of last night. I think I might be closer to labour than we think.

    - Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve driven the kids to school, honey love. 

    - You needed to sleep. - she groaned as she stretched her legs. - Besides, Marion is staying with your mum today so I wanted to spend some time with her before she went. 

    - No kids tonight? - he leaned over to kiss her collarbone. - How long has it been?

    - As long as I’ve been pregnant. - she pushed him away playfully. - Jess is not going. 

    - Why not? Jess loves my mum. Is he sick? Urgh, is the flu going around his class again? We need to put him into a better school, those kids at his school are always s...

    - Seb, stop. - she rolled her eyes, smiling at the same time at how he’d gone from let it be to constant rambling about his children’s wellbeing. - He just wants to be home tonight and he’s been a little sad lately. 

    - You’re sure he’s not sick? Because there’s this private school which tests kids for all those flu things.

    - He’s not sick. He’s just got ... a bit of a lovebug. He got like this when I was last pregnant with Marion. 

    - Well, at least he hasn’t decided that the baby is just not coming. - Sebastian referred to Marion. Their daughter had just decided there was no baby coming around, even after being offered her own bedroom with her own bathroom, just for herself. - I’ll go pick him up, make it a whole thing. Maybe even pass by Al’s ... get you that pasta you really like. 

    - You’re just trying to make me forget that you’re the reason we’re moving houses. 

   - Y/N, this house has always been too small.

   - That’s because you need a whole room for your guitars alone. 

She’d spend the best part of her initial married years trying to convince Sebastian to either get a storage unit to put all his guitars in or to just merge it with his office yet, he’d always come back with an excuse. “Honey love, they need to be displayed”, “Bunny I would just get distracted if they were in my office” he would tell her with his rockstar like charm which she thought was strong enough to resist, yet how can she say no when he immediately shifts from boyish smile to having her pressed against the wall of that very same room, pounding into her as if he was an up and coming rockstar and her his favourite groupie. With the need for that bedroom, their once spacious apartment they bought when she was pregnant with Jess was becoming too small. Normally Y/N would be okay with it but being 8 months pregnant during the fall where it constantly rains in New York, moving seemed like the last thing she’d like to do and just thinking about it made her tired already. After all, she could barely walk to the kitchen without feeling tired or taking a short break in the middle of the path. She thought that after two pregnancies, the third one would be a walk in the park. Turns out it’s more like a run in the park, except the park is on fire and she’s barefoot. 

   - Honey love, asking me to get rid of my guitars is like asking you to get rid of your five copies of Emma.

   - They’re in different languages. - she argued back.

   - They’re different models, besides, we can finally have a guest bedroom. You always wanted a guest bedroom.

   - Sure then maybe my grandfather will come visit more often. How about that? - Sebastian chuckled at her answer. - I’m not joking. You get me pregnant, you get to be annoyed by my grandfather. 

   - You’re acting like this is my fault when you were the one who wore fishnets with a leather skirt. I’m only human. 

   - Fine, 10% my fault, 90% you fault. That’s my final offer.

   - You sure? 

   - Yes. You see, you are a sex maniac who cannot be controlled. 

   - That’s not what you wrote about me. - he smirked. - You said I had more soul than just a sex pot. 

   - Do not quote my own words at me.

   -  You bought my old guitar.

   - Urgh ... - she rolled her eyes. Sebastian grinned, happy he’d won the debate. - Just go make the other mums jealous please.

   - Look at you, using me for my sex appeal only.

   - No. I just really enjoy being the powerful mum. 

   - Yeah? What’s that like?

   - Constant questions about if we do weird sex blood rituals. Then mysterious answers, so they all fear you and don’t force you to attend PTA meetings on date nights. 

   - I gotta say, bunny ... we got this parenting thing covered. 

   - We do.

   - When I come back, you better not have a bowl of Doritos on your belly.

   - I’ll do whatever I want.

   - Sure, bunny, if you walk to the kitchen by yourself ...

   - Low move, Stan. Low.

   - You love me. - he chuckled, grabbing his keys from the trinket dish by the entry door. - See you soon, bunny.

   - Love you. - she scrunched her face in a little smile which he couldn’t help but smile back.

Sebastian liked to pick up Marion and Jess from school. His schedule normally meant Y/N, who had a more 9-5 job, was the one who’d do the drop offs and collections so he’d always meet them at home but whenever he could pick them up, he’d be the first one there. He just loved to see his two babies come out of school in their little uniforms which he incredibly hated when they first enrolled but now couldn’t help but find incredibly adorable. He also loved to see how both his children came out of school. Marion would be the one who’d take the longest, surrounded by all her friends and probably nursing a scrape or two on her knee as if kindergarten 2-3 year old was a big fighting ground while Jess would come out as quickly as he could. 

He parked slightly in front of his son’s school, coming out of the car and leaning against it. The parents’ eyes were immediately on him, maybe it was due to the star power or, most likely, it was because he was wearing a leather jacket, dark shades and his neck tattoo could be seen peaking out the collar of his jacket. His shoes crinkled the fallen leaves on the floor, avoiding those looks as he waited for his son. He knew who he was and he was not going to change it because he became a father, he is a good father, he knows that. The bell rang and a swarm of children came rushing out of the school, and they say birth rates are low. He took his sunglasses off, trying to pin point his son in the middle of all different aged children. 

   -  DAD! - he turned his head to the memorable voice, crutching down as he son rushed to him. Jess wrapped his arms around his father, little childish giggles as Sebastian pulled him off the floor.

   - Hey, buddy. How was school?

   - We did hand turkeys.

   - Hand turkeys? No way, that’s so cool. - he opened up the car’s passenger’s seat, sticking around to check if he fastened his seatbelt correctly before taking the driver’s seat. - It’s just gonna be us three today, bud. You, me and mummy. We getting Al’s and some ice cream. 

   - Why didn’t mummy come?

   - Mummy is very tired, buddy. The baby is kicking a lot, won’t let the baby sleep.

   - Oh ...  - Sebastian saw his son’s face grow sadder.

   - What do you want from Al’s, bud? You can get whatever you want.

   - Really?

   - Yeah.

The little restaurant had soon become a staple in their family life. Sebastian had. discovered by accident after accidentally burning dinner for Y/N’s. He wasn’t already too popular with Y/N’s family so he knew he had to fix it and there it was, the small little restaurant filled with delicious food. Now, it was just a Friday night tradition yet today was special, almost nostalgic to when Y/N, Sebastian and Jess had their first home. Back when Y/N and him were new parents and would trip on every toy in the apartment. God, those were the days. 

  - Dad? - Jess pulled at his sleeve while the two were waiting in the queue. 

  - Yeah, bud? - Sebastian picked him up, already understanding the signs of whenever he wanted to be held. 

  - I ... The baby’s not coming for a while, right? 

  - Why, Jessie? What did Marion say?

  - She didn’t say anything ... uhm, it’s gonna be three of us now. 

  - Yeah. We’re gonna get a new big place, we can even get a dog or a cat. You always wanted a cat, didn’t you? 

  - But, now I’m third.

  - What do you mean? - Sebastian furrowed his brows at the comment.

  - Well, when Marion was a baby you and mummy were always with her but she’s still a baby and now there’s a new baby, so I’m gonna be third. - Sebastian’s heart broke at that comment. Now it made sense. - And ... you’re not home a lot and mummy is gonna be busy with the baby.

  - Hey, you’re not third. - he rubbed his son’s back, kissing the side of his head, soothing him to the best of his ability. - You want me to be home more?

  - No, daddy ... you like doing music. 

  - Hm ... how about you come to the studio with me when you don’t have school?

  - Really? But you said I’m too little. 

  - Well, you’re gonna be a big brother again, I think it’s time.

  - Really?

  - Yeah. - he smiled him, his smile reflecting back at him. 

  - Faye. 

  - What?

  - We should name the baby Faye. 

  - Faye? You want your baby sister to be named Faye?

  - Yes.

  - Well ... Faye it is.

Ceraunophile

Ceraunophile: A lover of thunder and lightning storms.

Pairing: GN!MC x Leviathan

Warnings: Intense thunderstorms, momentarily misplaced lost, fluff.

Summary: It’s the first time MC sees a thunderstorm in the Devildom, and they wanna go check it out!

Word Count: 15326

Dark clouds roll in from the north, heavy droplets of water falling from them and lightning streaking the sky.

“Wow…” MC breathes, looking out of the common room window at the oncoming storm. A shiver runs down their spine at the sound of thunder, spreading like electricity to their limbs. “It’s beautiful…”

Devildom lightning storms are nothing like the ones in the human world. The winds are stronger, wailing with the voice of tens of thousands of souls, the thunder deafening, and each lightning bolt a different color, creating a light show in the clouds.

MC finds themself smiling at the window for a moment longer before hopping up and running down the halls to the room of a demon whom they knew to love water. Maybe he loved storms as much as they did. MC’s face breaks into a grin as they stop in front of Leviathan’s room, knocking three times.

“Password?” Levi’s voice comes from the other side of the door.

“The second lord-”

“-attempted to steal the Lord of Corruption’s platypus, which could lay golden eggs-”

“-having incurred the wrath of the Lord of Corruption for his misdeed-”

“-it was ordered that the second lord would be forever dubbed The Lord of Fools.”

MC waits for a moment, wondering if Levi would let them in, when his door slowly creaked open, revealing half of his face.

“Is there something you need, MC?” Levi’s voice is unusually cold and tired. “I’m in the middle of a raid.”

“I was just wanting to know if you wanted to go see the storm with me,” MC offers. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” they add quickly, looking up at him with puppy eyes.

Levi slams his door shut, causing MC to flinch back.

“I guess that’s a no…” MC sighs, defeated. Just as they turn to walk away though, the door opens again and Levi steps out of his room, hands stuffed into his pockets and a light blush on his cheeks.

“Just so you know, we can’t go anywhere anyone will see us. I don’t want someone thinking I’m hanging out with some normie.” Levi’s eyes narrow at MC, as if challenging them to argue with him. MC simply nods in response. “Good,” Levi says, turning and heading to the door. “Grab a jacket or something, there’s something I want to show you.”

“I don’t need a jacket,” MC says, hurrying after him. They ignore his inquisitive look, instead bolting out of the door before him. Besides, if Levi isn’t going to wear any rain gear, why should they? Famous last words. MC glances up at the sky in time to see a bright blue streak flash by, closely followed by the sounds of thunder. They grin, feeling the rain drench their hair and clothes and the wind blow their hair wildly behind them. “So what is it you wanted to show me?” MC asks, turning to Levi.

Levi slowly lowers his gaze from the clouds down to MC’s face. For a moment he just stares at them, watching as water streams down their face, as they lean into the wind so they don’t lose balance.

“This way,” Levi says, turning and leading them away from the House of Lamentation, and north towards the storm.

MC skips after Leviathan, holding their arms out and spinning in the rain as they follow him through the downpour. Excitement and adrenaline course through their veins, excited and nervous to see where he is taking them.

Levi glances over his shoulder, watching in amazement as the above light show illuminates MC. They look… ethereal. When he looks back, he can’t help but smile a little. Their wonder and awe towards the storm made him happy for reasons unknown. Maybe it is because he has someone to enjoy the storms with now? Maybe it was the way they clapped when it thundered, or splashed in the puddles? Or maybe it was the gasps and squeals he can hear when they see a new color of lightning flash by? Whatever the reason, it made his heart swell with happiness.

“MC-” Levi turns to face them, stopping when he sees them squatting over a puddle. Worry grips his veins as he steps towards them. “MC?”

MC looks up at him, grinning through the rain. “Look!” They hold up a chain, and when Leviathan takes a closer look at it, he sees a shell locket attached to it. “Isn’t it pretty?” They ask, handing it to him.

Levi takes the chain and opens the locket, finding it empty. “Uh… y-yeah…” he says, handing it back to MC. “You should keep it,” he says, turning away when they beam at him. “Come on, we’re nearly there.”

MC skips up to walk next to Levi glancing up at his face. The closer they get to the storm, the stronger the winds seem to get, and the harder it is to see where they are going. A few more steps, and they can’t see anything at all.

“Levi?” MC calls through the rain, blind and suddenly scared. They love the storm, yes, but this one is different. This one is in the middle of the Devildom, a place they could get snatched and eaten and none would be the wiser. “LEVI?!” They call again, taking a step back and bumping into something hard. They whip around, heart in their throat, but relaxing when they see Levi.

“Geez, human. You get three steps ahead of me and you start freaking out.” Levi chides.

“I can’t really see in the storm.” MC explains. “The rain is coming down so hard…”

“I thought you liked the storm,” Levi’s voice is almost accusing, as he has to raise it to be heard over the wind.

“I do, I just don’t like being alone,” MC calls back, reaching a hand out to him. “Please Levi… this is nothing like in the human world.”

Levi stares at their hand for a moment before looking them in the eye. He glances back at their hand, hesitating, before finally reaching out and carefully taking their hand in his. The contact makes him shudder, and it takes all of his willpower to not pull back.

“Come on, we’re nearly there.” Levi tugs on MC’s hand, much like they tug on his heartstrings, as he leads them deeper into the storm.

At some point during their travel, Levi finds himself in his demon form, MC held tightly to his side as he manipulates the water around them to create a shield from the weather. It was as if they had their own little bubble of weather, and their clothes were drying out fast.

“Why didn’t you do that sooner?” MC asks, out of breath as they cling to Levi’s arm to keep them upright.

Levi has the audacity to look flustered. “I uh… well you see, I really like the rain and getting… wet,” his blush darkens and he mentally chides himself, “and I sort of forgot I could do that?”

“How can you forget that you can control the weather?!” MC asks, craning their neck to look up at him.

“I guess, it’s the same way you forget that you live in a house full of demons?” Levi asks, releasing them and making the bubble big enough to fit the both of them comfortably. “Come on, just a few more steps and we’ll be there.”

A few more of Leviathan’s steps, more like twenty of yours. You had forgotten how big the brothers’ demon forms are, and you have to jog to keep up with one of his steps.

“We’re here,” Levi says, stepping through a curtain of water and pulling MC through with him. On the other side is swirling water and wind, what one would imagine being inside a tornado would look like. Lightning colors the clouds, and thunder roars overhead to the point even covering their ears had no effect.

“Here,” Levi gently removes MC’s hands from their ears, using his powers to lessen the sound of the thunder for them.

MC looks around in awe, sitting down and just watching the storm swirl around them. “This… is nothing like how the storms in the human world work…”

Levi chuckles and sits beside them. “No, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? Sometimes, when I feel like it, I play with the weather around the ocean. I don’t have as much control of the weather elsewhere, but I can influence it. That’s enough.”

MC slowly looks away from the storm at Levi, waiting until his eyes meet theirs. In his eyes they can doubt, fear, worry; but their own holds only wonder.

“Levi… you’re amazing!” MC tackles him in a hug, and then quickly pulls away. They watch as he sits there, stunned, trying to process what just happened. MC chuckles and lays back, looking at the clear sky above them and listening to the winds swirling around them. “Let’s watch the storm for a while…”

the witcher 3: wild hunt starters

including quotes from the dlcs hearts of stone & blood and wine

❝  you were always an unruly child. i adored that about you.  ❞ ❝  mmm. yes. of course. the excuse you resort to when you’d rather not talk about something.  ❞ ❝  how many have you killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❞ ❝  you're a madman and always have been. a cruel, cold-blooded killer.  ❞ ❝  a man should frame his wishes carefully. it forestalls disappointment.  ❞ ❝  no argument. you knew what you were signing up for.  ❞ ❝  maybe once, in a different time...i’d have helped.  ❞ ❝  don’t train alone, it only embeds your errors.  ❞ ❝  wanna get drunk off my ass. and it’s gotta be on cheap wine.  ❞ ❝  you’re a heartless bastard.  ❞ ❝  try to trick me anyway, anyhow, you won’t go anywhere, you know that. ‘cause i’ll take your head off right where it meets your neck.  ❞ ❝  sorry. i don’t want to talk about it. not now, at least.  ❞ ❝  we are more like a family.   we support each other and help each other survive tough moments.  ❞ ❝  so how’s it feel to be the village witch?  ❞ ❝  realize, please, that you were made for great things.  ❞ ❝  folks say a curse has fallen on that place, a dark power brought down by the bestiality of the murders it beheld.  ❞ ❝  so, now you’ve threatened me and all...are you in or are you not?  ❞ ❝  i know it must sound foolish, but in the dream - well, it was all too real...  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  it’s always been about you. only you.  ❞ ❝  i remember finding your sense of humor both groan-worthy...and somehow endearing.  ❞ ❝  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❞ ❝  i detest banquets. vacuous conversation, food portions fit for a mouse, drinks that taste like piss...  ❞ ❝  despite what you’ve heard, i don’t lunge at every monster i see, sword in hand.  ❞ ❝  each day’s more dangerous than the last.  ❞ ❝  it’s folks like you that restore my faith in humankind.  ❞ ❝  my power lies in possessing knowledge, not sharing it.  ❞ ❝  the rotten smell brings back childhood memories.  ❞ ❝  awfully noble of you, showing so much concern for the needy.  ❞ ❝  no need to thank me. always glad to save your ass. you’re welcome.  ❞ ❝  i may be inhumanely beautiful, but i don’t have super human senses.  ❞ ❝  anyone can be made to talk, even a corpse. one must simply know how.  ❞ ❝  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❞ ❝  there are few causes worth saving. even fewer men.  ❞ ❝  don’t treat me like a child.  ❞ ❝  there’s strange men lurking outside the house. watching me.  ❞ ❝  you must be careful what you wish for lest your wish be granted.    for there are consequences.  ❞ ❝  shall i be free of the suffering? the sadness?  ❞ ❝  i wish to gaze into those eyes, eyes the devil would be proud to have.  ❞ ❝  you were born with a great gift. and only you can decide how to use it.  ❞ ❝  any other words of wisdom? or can we go?  ❞ ❝  what i need is an ally. and something tells me i shall find none better than you.  ❞ ❝  i can see no row can occur here without your participation.  ❞ ❝  i and what concerns me have not been a concern of yours for some time now.  ❞ ❝  if you’d not arrived in time, things might have ended considerably worse.  ❞ ❝  if they can bleed, they can die.  ❞ ❝  a man must display some madness from time to time --- it helps him feel alive.  ❞ ❝  i was deeply troubled. you’ve no idea.  ❞ ❝  done that so many times, but...it felt like our first kiss to me.  ❞ ❝  don’t need to play tough on me.  ❞ ❝  i've lost too many mates already. i won’t risk it, i can't.  ❞ ❝  there’s just not enough of us. it’ll be a hard fight.  ❞ ❝  in lonely woods, screams carry long.  ❞ ❝  things used to be simpler.    monsters were bad, humans good.   now, everything’s all confused.  ❞ ❝  as for your missteps --- i don't rightly see why i shouldn't laugh if they're amusing..  ❞ ❝  i’ve no gold to offer you in reward...but i shall be ever so grateful.  ❞ ❝  if you’re scared, turn back. i’m gonna go on.  ❞ ❝  if anything happens, i’ll defend you.  ❞ ❝  once you say "i love you," a kiss has to taste differently.  ❞ ❝  maybe we should sit? you look a bit dazed...  ❞ ❝  drink it off, sleep it off, whatever it takes...just get yourself together and think things        through.  ❞ ❝  i shall join later, if it’s no trouble. i don’t yet feel strong enough to venture out.  ❞ ❝  awake at last. you writhed like a squirrel caught in a snare.  ❞ ❝  again you plan without even asking what i think!  ❞ ❝  come to see how i’m feelin'? thanks, not bad.  ❞ ❝  i remember that day quite well...there was a light drizzle, yet the cold tore right through you.  ❞ ❝  you gotta keep your eyes peeled wide open. someone’s taken an interest in your work.  ❞ ❝  oof...for a minute, i actually thought we were doomed.  ❞ ❝  you shouldn’t worry yourself --- it tarnishes your beauty.  ❞ ❝  i’d even embrace you...were you not covered in blood.  ❞ ❝  guess i could’ve been someone worse...just a shame i had no choice.  ❞ ❝  facts interest me. not fairytales.  ❞ ❝  hm, odd smell. blend of alcohol, blood and monster stench.  ❞ ❝  i’m old and i am wealthy. i may say what i please.  ❞ ❝  now, be so kind and leave me to my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  in your shoes i’d pack it up and go hide somewhere far away.  ❞ ❝  forgive me, but that's the blatherin' of someone who clearly can't snap out of it after a tragic loss.  ❞ ❝  that all you gotta say? i saved your life.  ❞ ❝  i swear on all that is holy: we shall be together forever.  ❞ ❝  think of me as part of the decor.  ❞ ❝  anyone who’s bold enough to fight is already a hero.  ❞ ❝  if this is a trap of some sort...  ❞ ❝  you can count on me, you know? always.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how much it means...to have someone you can rely on in this fucking city.  ❞ ❝  i know you. you have no heart.  ❞ ❝  no room for friendship in this business.  ❞ ❝  evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. the degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred.  ❞ ❝  hands off, or i'll cut them off.  ❞ ❝  i’ll need to clear my head first. after those deranged dreams, i feel it’s full of cobwebs.  ❞ ❝  on your way? or will you stay longer? it’s far safer with you around...  ❞ ❝  really sad story, but something’s not right. got a feeling you’re not telling me everything.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit, there’s something about you. you’re...different.  ❞ ❝  with each arrow i shoot, i think of my dad. he’d be proud, i think.  ❞ ❝  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when to swallow it.  ❞ ❝  you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  these’re dark, grim times. no room for knights pure of heart or happily-ever-afters.  ❞ ❝  a life without liquor’s like loving without licking.  ❞ ❝  my certainty i walk the right path grows strong as iron, firm as steel.  ❞ ❝  few make me feel awkward, but in your presence, i feel anxiety, discomfort.  ❞ ❝  some men have got good reason to fear their own shadows.  ❞ ❝  some men cannot admit defeat. some keep fighting from beyond the grave.  ❞ ❝  stare into their eyes, feast on their terror. then go in for the kill.  ❞ ❝  forget not that you are a person right and honorable, devoted to doing good.  ❞ ❝  ash shall fertilize the soil. by spring, the valley shall bloom once more.  ❞ ❝  there’s lots of wraiths here. i hear them whispering every night.  ❞ ❝  no one has the courage to face this threat! yet we must kill them, or sooner or later we will all die.  ❞ ❝  you are a step away from losing your head. speak the truth and you might yet keep it.  ❞ ❝  you carry within you the weight of a terrible tragedy. you are a good person, but lost. which is why you come across as grim.  ❞ ❝  if i understand you correctly, you would rather help a monster than kill it?  ❞ ❝  discouraged after a mere eight attempts?  ❞ ❝  easier to pat someone on the back and hope things will work out than it is to face the truth.  ❞ ❝  know that they can’t teach an old dog new tricks?  ❞ ❝  my, you’ve grown beautiful.  ❞ ❝  my swords a promise --- if i reach for it, heads will roll.  ❞ ❝  one condition: no one dies. that clear?  ❞ ❝  patience happens to be my weakness. so dispense with the dramatic pauses and talk.  ❞ ❝  you proved today you can take care of yourself.  ❞ ❝  you under the delusion you’ll complete your tasks, live happily ever after?  ❞ ❝  i will not sit and twiddle my thumbs. i'm sick of waiting, sick of hiding!  ❞ ❝  glad you know who i am. haven’t introduced yourself, though.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen a great deal --- cruelty, cynicism, greed.  ❞ ❝  you tempt fate, because at heart you are unhappy.  ❞ ❝  we had our chance, but...let it go.  ❞ ❝  come now, you didn’t expect it to be that easy, did you?  ❞ ❝  promise me one thing --- you’ll stop risking your life for others.  ❞ ❝  instead of dwelling on the future, i’d rather live in the moment.  ❞ ❝  i adore love stories. especially the ones that end happily ever after.  ❞ ❝  we are drops of rain that together make a ferocious storm.  ❞ ❝  the path to freedom is paved in blood, not ink.  ❞ ❝  we’ll get our happy ending. one day.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never forget what you did for me...and what we had together.  ❞ ❝  don’t meddle in other people’s lives.  ❞ ❝  i don’t get attached to places. just people.  ❞ ❝  it’s dangerous, there are risks involved. understand that, don’t you?  ❞ ❝  and here i hoped someone would finally take pity on me.  ❞ ❝  seen a lot of dead in my time, but that must’ve been hard.  ❞ ❝  air is strange...like dropping into a deep cellar on a hot day...  ❞ ❝  wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❞ ❝  take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days, so...  ❞ ❝  i was attacked --- had to defend myself.  ❞ ❝  guards have never stopped me, you know that.  ❞ ❝  treating the ill and wounded...it’s my calling.  ❞ ❝  you think it’s enchanted?  ❞ ❝  there are times when a woman should simply not explain her decision.  ❞ ❝  won’t find too many comforts, but try to feel at home.  ❞ ❝  i was looking for you...sometimes i thought you were just a step away. other times, i felt like i was going around in circles.  ❞ ❝  i’ll remember you. always with a smile.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather you not make anymore trouble --- for yourself, or us both.  ❞ ❝  got the stench of corpes on you.  ❞ ❝  you stood to gain --- that is why you saved me.  ❞ ❝  sages invariably have hidden agendas. altruism is simply not part of their constitution.  ❞ ❝  the gods have abandoned us. the mighty of this earth care not for our fate.  ❞ ❝  is that admiration i hear in your voice?  ❞ ❝  i started off heading in the opposite direction, but then turned around.  ❞ ❝  i’m fed up. i won’t have others deciding for me behind my back.  ❞ ❝  where’d you get this idea? what’s gotten into you?  ❞ ❝  i don't expect you to commit now. think it over, what you've heard, what you feel.  ❞ ❝  head torn clear off...takes incredible strength.  ❞ ❝  desperate fathers have been known to do a lot to find their daughters.  ❞ ❝  you cannot kill me. you know this...  ❞ ❝  "i give you my heart”? what kind of spell is that?  ❞ ❝  i’d go anywhere with you.  ❞ ❝  why? because i am a woman? in a frock, rather than plate? i can take care of myself, i assure you.  ❞ ❝  everything we discussed here, hope you’ll keep it to yourself. counting on it, in fact.  ❞ ❝  trusted you once. won’t make that mistake again.  ❞ ❝  shut up. i’ve heard enough of your bullshit. draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.  ❞ ❝  exaggerating for effect, right?  ❞ ❝  well, well...when cornered, you can bite.  ❞ ❝  you cannot win...even if you kill me.  ❞ ❝  you know i’m good at accomplishing the impossible.  ❞ ❝  it’s nothing, really. you’d have done the same for me.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready. you do not control your powers.  ❞ ❝  you’re a tool in their hands, even if you don’t see it.  ❞ ❝  i’d do anything for you, i would. you know that well.  ❞ ❝  this is a land where the fantastic is normal, and the impossible occurs daily...  ❞ ❝  know when a legend becomes a prophecy? when it gain believers.  ❞ ❝  i thought you’d become a stranger to me. that i’d look at you and not feel a thing. but it’s not like that at all. nothing’s changed.  ❞ ❝  to be honest, i just wanted to go on a walk with you.  ❞ ❝  what i really want is to be with you, to...to be together and...  ❞ ❝  this is not the kind of offer one refuses.  ❞ ❝  despair devours you like maggots devour a corpse.  ❞ ❝  before long every soul will kneel before you.  ❞ ❝  i run into dilemmas all the time. situations where it's hard to judge, hard to know what's right, make a decision. this is not one of them. you disgust me. and deserve to die.  ❞ ❝  you know me. i’m rare to praise, but when i do, it’s sincere.  ❞ ❝  i'm not a thug for hire.  ❞ ❝  i like being on adventures, sleeping under the stars, waking up with dew on my face.  ❞ ❝  the dream's within reach now. i’m not about to let it go.  ❞ ❝  unlike you, killing gives me no pleasure.  ❞ ❝  can't speak for the world you inhabit, but in mine, nothing is ever black and white.  ❞ ❝  you cannot possibly imagine how much i detest this place.  ❞ ❝  stones you’ve got. but i didn’t think you’d have the stomach for a massacre.  ❞ ❝  the dead man --- looked like a monster attacked him recently.  ❞ ❝  finish all your business before you die. bid loved ones farewell. write your will. apologize to those you’ve wronged. otherwise, you’ll never truly leave this world.  ❞ ❝  i've had nothing but nightmares lately. pretty horrible.  ❞ ❝  i was wandering through the forest, breathing deep the air, and then i heard a strange sound, unsettling.  ❞ ❝  had a few nice dreams. for example, in one we sat around a fire, drinking good wine, and all around people danced and laughed.  ❞ ❝  they’re all dead! mountains of corpses. yet here i stand alone. all alone.  ❞ ❝  this isn’t a game. men have died.  ❞ ❝  if you wanna listen, listen, if not --- i'd rather you spared me your wit and throw me out now.  ❞ ❝  you fed me, cared for me, had my wounds looked after. we're even now.  ❞ ❝  you’ll return, you shall. our fates are bound.  ❞ ❝  i’ve nothing left. not a fucking thing.  ❞ ❝  i don’t question your abilities. i simply don’t trust you.  ❞ ❝  what foolish things men sometimes do.  ❞ ❝  dare harm me, and against you will rise all the powers of nature.  ❞ ❝  did you destroy the evil powers? have you brought peace to my domain?  ❞ ❝  well, perhaps i shall tell you about it one day. one day, but not today..  ❞ ❝  times like these, you never know what tomorrow will bring.  ❞ ❝  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❞ ❝  have you gone completely mad? we must leave here at once!  ❞ ❝  time eats away at memories, distorts them. sometimes we only remember the good... sometimes only the bad.  ❞ ❝  you don’t need magic to strip men of their humanity. i’ve seen plenty of examples.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to choose between one evil and another, i’d rather not choose at all.  ❞ ❝  see what i’ve got on my back? wolves fear it. kings do, too.  ❞ ❝  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think it’s all too lovely to be true…that something’s bound to happen, another war or some other horror.  ❞ ❝  took you a while. did you run into trouble?  ❞ ❝  i just travel a lot. and i don't always happen upon such good and civil company.  ❞ ❝  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❞ ❝  done my share of fighting. wouldn't carry a sword if i didn't know to use it.  ❞ ❝  all right, perhaps i wasn’t completely honest.  ❞ ❝  ever thought this day would come? me and you...peace and quiet...bees buzzing, birds chirping.  ❞ ❝  i detect a shadow of impatience in your face.  ❞ ❝  took me a long time to find you. wasn't an easy road to travel.  ❞ ❝  wipe that frown off your face, or i might think you don’t like me anymore.  ❞ ❝  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❞ ❝  once it’s all over, if we survive ... i wish to leave, go far away.   and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  naturally, you suspect me of the worst. i don’t deserve that.  ❞ ❝  we can fight another time, in another place, where the walls have no ears.  ❞ ❝  once i was free...i shall be free once more.  ❞ ❝  believe me...a tavern, mulled wine, our boots drying by the fire --- i’d like nothing better.  ❞ ❝  prove it. kiss me.  ❞ ❝  the prophecies do not lie...you cannot survive this struggle.  ❞ ❝  i know you better than you think.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  what’s happened? it’s so quiet, all of a sudden.  ❞ ❝  thank you, for coming with me.  ❞ ❝  i cannot do everything for you. use your head.  ❞ ❝  i'm angry and tired. had to kill a lot of people along the way.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’d be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❞ ❝  how’s this for an answer: kiss my ass.  ❞ ❝  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❞ ❝  i'm quite alive and extraordinarily well. better than i've ever been in this rotten life of mine.  ❞ ❝  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❞ ❝  ugh. don’t fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t like you. in fact, i feel like slapping you.  ❞ ❝  i'm too old to play the blushing bride...unless you ask nicely.  ❞ ❝  that bit of my life --- forgotten it already.  ❞ ❝  the world doesn’t need a hero. it needs a professional.  ❞ ❝  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter...well, there's your answer.  ❞ ❝  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❞ ❝  i want you behind those rocks. and keep your mouth shut.  ❞ ❝  nice of you to worry...but i've made my decision, and i won't change it.  ❞ ❝  this is my story, not yours. you must let me finish telling it.  ❞ ❝  after all that toil, i believe we deserve a bit of a rest.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  we’ve all some stain on our conscience.  ❞ ❝  leaving the castle walls means certain death.  ❞ ❝  right good jest. had us a laugh. now fuck off.  ❞ ❝  i’ve heard about you. you bring trouble, or thus far have, always.  ❞ ❝  ah, you’ve struck a raw nerve.    memories of a time long past to which i’d rather not return now.  ❞ ❝  we meet again. and it seems you need my help. again.  ❞ ❝  got a relative i can talk to? someone - how do i say this - a smidgen less irritating?  ❞ ❝  miss the target, you owe me fifty push-ups. hit it, you owe me twenty.  ❞ ❝  oh. serious talk coming.  ❞ ❝  i feel like one more lie'd be the last bitter drop in a chalice full of sorrow.  ❞ ❝  romantic? thought we came here as friends.  ❞ ❝  you’re hiding something. and that’s one thing i can’t stand.  ❞ ❝  tell me, how do you do it? always manage to pull yourself together, focus, no matter what’s happening?  ❞ ❝  i go wherever i please, whenever i please.  ❞ ❝  uh oh. i know that look.  ❞ ❝  sounds tempting. so tempting i don’t think i can refuse.  ❞ ❝  so, what do you say to a moonlight ride on horseback...and dinner?  ❞ ❝  perhaps...perhaps you’d stay just a bit longer?  ❞ ❝  how are you feeling? sleep well?  ❞ ❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...  simply shouldn’t have.  ❞

❝  such a gloomy subject to broach...i simply shouldn’t have --- not during our romantic dinner.  ❞ ❝  got it. a bit of blackmail --- just your style.  ❞ ❝  it’s the crack of dawn. where do you wanna go?  ❞ ❝  shut up before you wake someone. last thing we need is a crowd.  ❞ ❝  watch what you say. the trees have ears.  ❞ ❝  no bow at hand, no spear. my sword was all i had.  ❞ ❝  never expected you’d take such an interest in my private life.  ❞ ❝  i’m special. always was the rare beauty.  ❞ ❝  damn. been ages since we last saw each other.  ❞ ❝  some charming orchards nearby. in bloom, even, so you almost can't smell the corpses.  ❞ ❝  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❞ ❝  man spends his whole life learning.  ❞ ❝  if only i was as skilled with my words as i am with my blade.  ❞ ❝  i wished to know what was going on in that head of yours. i thought perhaps i could help.  ❞ ❝  i can tell something’s bothering you.  ❞ ❝  dangerous times. each thinks five times before sticking their neck out.   and i can’t blame them.  ❞ ❝  now i care not in the slightest how you think or feel.  ❞ ❝  i no longer know if i still hate you.  ❞ ❝  i see how you look at me, and i see you wither.  ❞ ❝  one last bit of advice --- find a new tavern. everyone here knows you.  ❞ ❝  you won. no point bothering with ‘what ifs’.  ❞ ❝  it’s time i took fate into my own hands. lived life anew...and truly, this time.  ❞ ❝  ahh, 'cause you thought you'd killed me that time. surprise, sur-fucking-prise.  ❞ ❝  who...who’s that? gods, i’m hallucinating.  ❞ ❝  it’s no exaggeration to say i’ve never met a warrior like you in my life. you’re lithe as an eel and strong as a bear.  ❞ ❝  i’ve a heart again, yet all it feels is grief, sadness and defeat. my life is a ruin.  ❞ ❝  sought only to protect myself. in doing so, i put you in harm’s way. forgive me.  ❞ ❝  there’s a charming grove nearby where  kisses  taste  sweeter than anywhere else in the world.  ❞ ❝  you’ve handled tougher situations. you’ll figure this one out.  ❞ ❝  who you are and why you’ve come matter little. for you’ll not leave this place alive.  ❞ ❝  i’m not panicking. just trying to be realistic.  ❞ ❝  hahahahaha...i can’t believe you fell for that!  ❞ ❝  i was actually going to recite an anthem praising your glory, but if you’re not in the mood...  ❞ ❝  lying didn’t always come so easily to you.  ❞ ❝  everyone wants to rule. i can do that better than any monarch.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want already, and make it quick.  ❞ ❝  what a mess we made of it all...if i’d only known then how it would end...  ❞ ❝  seems a faded dream now, but there were a time where i was happy.  ❞ ❝  why’d you leave me? you claimed you loved me.  ❞ ❝  never liked boats. not one bit.  ❞ ❝  you must be mad. i’ve no intention to make things easier for you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t wish to look at your face any longer than i must.  ❞ ❝  please, no. i can’t stand spells.  ❞ ❝  we agreed not to keep any secrets from one another. we promised.  ❞ ❝  that i like! a man who boldly dares, damn the risks!  ❞ ❝  i thought you bowed before no man.  ❞ ❝  smile a bit wider. ...you were meant to smile, not bare your teeth.  ❞ ❝  is that blood? have you hurt yourself?  ❞ ❝  no reason to trouble the guards. i’ll go willingly.  ❞ ❝  look at me. promise you’ll stay out of it.  ❞ ❝  the minute we’re in trouble, you make me responsible for getting us out.  ❞ ❝  they say they don’t fear the wrath of the gods. and you, do you fear it?  ❞ ❝  i’ll let that pass. i know grief eats at your heart.  ❞ ❝  we all lie sometimes. but lying to yourself is running away, whereas there’s really nowhere to run.  ❞ ❝  don’t need your sympathy, just your help.  ❞ ❝  your loss -- it must hurt, bad. but there wasn't anything we could do.  ❞ ❝  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❞ ❝  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❞ ❝  lot of bitterness in you.  ❞ ❝  i assure you, you’re excellent at covering your tracks --- though not terribly subtle. but i’m even better at uncovering them.  ❞ ❝  glad to see you happy...but i don’t think what we did was right.  ❞ ❝  i look at you, and...and feel like i am exactly where i am supposed to be. at long last.  ❞ ❝  i’m no coward. i'll not run this time.  ❞ ❝  yes, i know you’ve trained with swords. but you’re still shit with them.  ❞ ❝  how many innocents have you cut down?  ❞ ❝  problem is, you’re not ordinary. you were born to greatness.  ❞ ❝  not too late to surrender.  ❞ ❝  men turn honest when they feel a blade at their throat.  ❞ ❝  i'm not gonna drink. why dull my senses when i’m in such pleasant company?  ❞ ❝  it’s bound to come in handy, and each time it does, you’ll think of me.  ❞ ❝  lie still or you will bleed to death.  ❞ ❝  your life is yours, exclusively. you choose who you are.  ❞ ❝  for a minute there, was almost sure you’d leave me to die.  ❞ ❝  there is never a second opportunity to make a first impression.  ❞ ❝  it’s all because of that secretiveness of yours.  ❞ ❝  plead the gods spare us, for without their favor we shall most certainly perish.  ❞ ❝  i must say -- seen a lot, but nothing like this, never.  ❞ ❝  you don’t look like you can get home on your own. i’ll walk you.  ❞ ❝  all’s in the past, never to be restored.  ❞ ❝  you know full well i never hold a grudge. i forgive you.  ❞ ❝  the good gods sent you to me.  ❞ ❝  and the guilt, the responsibility of all this, lies with me.  ❞ ❝  you’ve only been here five minutes, and you’ve already managed to offend me twice.  ❞ ❝  you will certainly fetch me a higher bounty alive.  ❞ ❝  what's wrong with my beard? always thought it added to my dignity.  ❞ ❝  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❞ ❝  i was stupid. stupidity costs a lot.  ❞ ❝  even your humblest requests seem like threats.  ❞ ❝  your motives do not interest me. only results.  ❞ ❝  and you laughed, oh, how sweetly, how brightly you laughed!  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❞ ❝  to have a scapegoat --- that’s the key.  ❞ ❝  no need to fear me.  ❞ ❝  sorry, but -- your life story? just not interested.  ❞ ❝  with you...it was love at first sight.  ❞ ❝  gotta understand. you don’t betray people like me.  ❞ ❝  i struggled long to find a place where i’d feel safe, needed. until i finally arrived here.  ❞ ❝  just don’t faint on me.  ❞ ❝  could never be there for you everyday. but i’m happy to see you always. and today, i’m all yours.  ❞ ❝  what others think...your image...that’s all you care about.  ❞ ❝  in these foul times one must be wary, even of their friends.  ❞ ❝  come on, don’t get angry - it’s not good for you..  ❞ ❝  so, apart from the sword play, you know potions and all that?  ❞ ❝  i actually envy your sense of wonder --- common in children, and morons.  ❞ ❝  a lot of misfortune for a small village.  ❞ ❝  who are you? do you seek to hurt me as well?  ❞ ❝  the hand that feeds can also strike its wayward wards.  ❞ ❝  shh. eat now. we’ll speak once you’ve rested.  ❞ ❝  brother has turned against brother, the land is soaked in blood. evil reigns stronger than ever before.  ❞ ❝  good looking and clever. where’ve you been hiding?  ❞ ❝  doesn’t bother you, having monsters for neighbours?  ❞ ❝  stay here --- no matter what happens.  ❞ ❝  i never told you this, but i’ve always felt it: i love you.  ❞ ❝  listen to me this once -- don't take matters into your own hands.  ❞ ❝  love these moments. the air before a battle -- nothing smells as sweet.  ❞ ❝  they tried to get in through the main gate. i’m afraid they could succeed next time.  ❞ ❝  too many claim you’re evil.  ❞ ❝  why are you so eager to help strangers? sit your ass down or there’ll be misfortune.  ❞ ❝  you'd never have managed without me, would you? come, now, admit it.  ❞ ❝  for those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.  ❞ ❝  thanks for coming. thanks for risking your life for me.  ❞ ❝  don’t force me to speak of it. no more, please.  ❞ ❝  when doubt plagues your mind, follow your instincts. should they steer you wrong and land you in muck, you'll land at peace with yourself. and that's most important.  ❞ ❝   just know that i know you're here. one misstep, one error...you'll make a mistake, it's inevitable...i'll be the first to learn it.  ❞ ❝  i do not know you. i’ve done you no harm.  ❞ ❝  try not to panic...just doesn’t suit you.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❞ ❝  had i known what would happen here, i'd never have come.  ❞ ❝  i can say i’ve seen it all now.  ❞ ❝  these scars have long yearned for your tender caress.  ❞ ❝  i don’t fall victim to curses. i cast them.  ❞ ❝  come outside. we can hold hands and stare at the sky.  ❞ ❝  we’ll work well together --- i can see that already.  ❞ ❝  from the first moment i set eyes upon you that fateful evening, my heart has only beaten for you.  ❞ ❝  i trust you as much as you trust me --- not at all.  ❞ ❝  you’ve gone all red in the face just for talking about it.  ❞ ❝  wake up. it’s just a dream. wake up!  ❞ ❝  i still don’t believe everything that happened.  ❞ ❝  i never miss twice.  ❞ ❝  bit too old to believe in bedtime stories, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  you humans have...unusual tastes.  ❞ ❝  didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?  ❞ ❝  i think you will not attack one unarmed.  ❞ ❝  the deeper i get into this, the more i gotta wonder...why’re you even helping me?  ❞ ❝  to live in peace, we first must kill.  ❞ ❝  at times fate muddles our path, and life turns toilsome, hard to bear.  ❞ ❝  i fight for whoever’s paying the best. or whoever’s easier to rob.  ❞ ❝  do not let my beauty distract your aim.  ❞ ❝  i’ve seen what is to come, i know destruction approaches.  ❞ ❝  the war awoke an ancient power. an evil one that feeds on bloodshed.  ❞ ❝  guess you’re no stranger to fury, either.  ❞ ❝  think i’m gonna fall for that? no chance, you’re wrong.  ❞ ❝  gotta admit --- you do pretty well with a sword.  ❞ ❝  you dare tell me to calm down?! you?!  ❞ ❝  let's say i go about my business, and when there's coin to be earned, i don't readily turn it down.  ❞ ❝  i wish to know the truth...be it sweet, be it painful, i wish to know.  ❞ ❝  men, the polite ones at least, would call me a monster.  ❞ ❝  even i grow ill at the sight of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m going on a walk. or is that not allowed either? because i could break my leg?  ❞ ❝  plan’s crazier than it is sane...but there’s an irrestistible charm to it.  ❞ ❝  unbelievable! you said something romantic! you!  ❞ ❝  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❞ ❝  if anything should happen to you...  ❞ ❝  there’s not been a dark cloud yet that didn’t have a silver lining.  ❞ ❝  those are some fresh lookin’ scars you’ve got there.  ❞ ❝  no. no more about the battle. just hold me. and say something nice.  ❞ ❝  stay. this is the only home we’ve ever had.  ❞ ❝  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❞ ❝  not proud of it...yet i considered all the options and found none better.  ❞ ❝  i look far different from when you last saw me.  ❞ ❝  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❞ ❝  and...try not to draw any attention to yourself.  ❞ ❝  nightmares haunt our nights and days. folk sleepwalk from their homes, never to return.  ❞ ❝  forgive me. it couldn’t be avoided. i truly am sorry.  ❞ ❝  well i’ve departed, escaped, been forced to flee so many times…yet i always returned. you ought to be used to it by now.  ❞ ❝  the human mind is as wild and unexplored a place as any land far beyond the sea.  ❞ ❝  you think you’ve won. you are wrong. i can’t die.  ❞ ❝  you’re something more. something more.  ❞ ❝  barely nicked me, i’ll be fine.  ❞ ❝  it’s just that i felt...stifled, in your shadow. i’d have suffocated had i stayed.  ❞ ❝  come, don’t just stand there. i want a hug.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely here! i could stay forever.  ❞ ❝  do what you will, but leave me out of this.  ❞ ❝  we should end this discussion -- before i say something i'll regret.  ❞ ❝  you all right? you’re as pale as death.  ❞ ❝  let’s get back to the hut. i’ll protect you along the way.  ❞ ❝  not to keen on talking about it, are you?  ❞ ❝  it’s better to die than to live in the knowledge that you’ve done something that needs forgiveness.  ❞ ❝  i was afraid you were dead.  ❞ ❝  at times one must use reason, rather than blades.  ❞ ❝  need some peace. gotta prepare.  ❞ ❝  i suspected it might not be the best idea, but i was desperate, had no choice.  ❞ ❝  so tell me how it happened. step by step.  ❞ ❝  it was a bit of a lark, a jest. i meant to bring it all back, i swear.  ❞ ❝  if i wanted to kill you, you'd be long dead by now.  ❞ ❝  that is precisely one of the reasons why i abhor your world.    your senseless brutality.  ❞ ❝  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❞ ❝  magic...childish hocus-pocus. it’s just not interesting. what i find fascinating are true tales of true human lives.  ❞ ❝  save your praise for others. i couldn’t give a shit.  ❞ ❝  well, well, i am impressed. doubted you still had it in you, frankly.  ❞ ❝  i like you. don’t make me hurt you.  ❞ ❝  you know very little can hurt you being immortal, so you take wild risks, chase extreme sensations. there comes a point you’ve done it all, and all seems boring and monotonous.  ❞ ❝  with you i finally feel...harmony. a calm. feel like things are the way they're supposed to be.  ❞ ❝  i'm afraid the dishwater’s as good as it gets in this establishment.  ❞ ❝  sorry to take so long, but i had to deal with the guards.  ❞ ❝  i’d never miss a chance to spend a pleasant evening with you.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. yet one more reason why you must die.  ❞ ❝  or perhaps you seek to trick me.  ❞ ❝  if you acknowledge any gods...start praying, now.  ❞ ❝  it’s very simple. you either deceived me...or not.  ❞ ❝  i am known neither for my sense of humor nor for my patience.  ❞ ❝  naturally, it would be easier with your help, but...you irritate me.  ❞ ❝  love questions like that. am i holding up? what, my dick?  ❞ ❝  we never hunt in these woods. not even if it means the whole village starves.  ❞ ❝  we’re only ever the ones to know the truth about ourselves.  ❞ ❝  you’re insolent because you believe i cannot afford to hurt you. and you’re right.  ❞ ❝  i detest graveyards, especially wandering them alone.  ❞ ❝  you know too much. you impede me too often. and i find your arrogance an annoyance.  ❞ ❝  i know it’s wartime, but try not to be a hero, all right?  ❞ ❝  i don’t know that i’ll make for engaging company. in truth, i rarely talk to men.  ❞ ❝  you know...had a dream about you recently.  ❞ ❝  i thought i could at least count on you to treat me seriously.  ❞ ❝  don’t ask questions you know the answers to. it makes you look stupid.  ❞ ❝  you’re nosy. starting to piss me off, you know?  ❞ ❝  what did i do to deserve this? have i given you cause to doubt my intentions?  ❞ ❝  don’t fret about me. i always get by somehow, right?  ❞ ❝  i wanted to go with you --- that was my idea.  ❞ ❝  i shan’t stray a step from your side.  ❞ ❝  if that’s what it takes to save the world, it’s better to let that world die.  ❞ ❝  what’s that supposed to mean? that a threat?  ❞ ❝  i’m offering a great and true adventure, an experience like no other, the fate of only the chosen few.  ❞ ❝  that’s like choosing between pestilence and the plague.  ❞ ❝  what’s it matter? i only ever thought of you.  ❞ ❝  did you know you’ve gained twenty-seven new scars since we’ve last saw each other?  ❞ ❝  i need to know the details if you want me to get my hands dirty.  ❞ ❝  don’t know you. go away.  ❞ ❝  ever vigilant, even in your sleep. quite vampire-like, in fact.  ❞ ❝  gotten used to people treating me like a freak, an outcast.  ❞ ❝  we share a cause, then. just like the old days.  ❞ ❝  ever considered becoming a burglar? skill like that’d come in awful handy.  ❞ ❝  there’s never been a frown that couldn’t be turned upside down.  ❞ ❝  honesty's an attribute of the truly brave --- and thus the privilege of the very few.  ❞ ❝  you do not have a monopoly in altruism, my friend.  ❞ ❝  great love demands great sacrifices.  ❞ ❝  i believe it wise at times to share one’s secrets, unburden oneself to those one can trust.  ❞ ❝  it would be nice from time to time if you could sit back and enjoy life, instead of going around solving everyone’s problems.  ❞ ❝  we shall dance until the break of dawn!  ❞ ❝  a man could lose his head for a lass like you.  ❞ ❝  don’t have to come if you don’t want. wait here.  ❞ ❝  never seen this side of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m to kiss the ground you walk on, is that it? but you just did your duty.  ❞ ❝  the day you give me a smile...that moment, that’s what i’m waiting for.  ❞ ❝  i need a soul intelligent and clever, an individual who fears no dare. someone like you.  ❞ ❝  if i was you i’d catch some shut-eye, not go on flapping my tongue.  ❞ ❝  the plan is simple...which does not mean it will be easy to execute.  ❞ ❝  sometimes you really get on my nerves, you know.  ❞ ❝  you shall not turn on me, use what i say against me? you shall not tell anyone?  ❞ ❝  gave you a chance. should’ve taken it.  ❞ ❝  always better to do a bit more and even gain nothing by it,    than to do too little and face regret.  ❞ ❝  it’s lovely out here. the birds singing, the bees buzzing...blissful, really.  ❞ ❝  what a lovely dress. the color suits you exquisitely.  ❞ ❝  pretty fantastic tale. hard as hell to believe.  ❞ ❝  it’s time you discovered my romantic side.  ❞ ❝  you gotta understand the whole world doesn’t revolve around you.  ❞ ❝  can you not see i am out of my mind with worry?  ❞ ❝  every rose has its thorn, and there are no happy endings.  ❞ ❝  pretty quick to reject help. why is that?  ❞ ❝  don’t need to like each other. just gotta do our jobs.  ❞ ❝  frankly, if i can do something for you, i'll do it, willingly.  ❞ ❝  you were hired you kill me, were you not?  ❞ ❝  what’s it like, going toe to toe with a monster? knowing you’ve only two options --- to kill or be killed?  ❞ ❝  this place --- there’s evil here. death hangs in the air.  ❞ ❝  intellect counts as much as strength.  ❞ ❝  i run back inside, hasp the doors, and then i hear it --- someone whispering my name.  ❞ ❝  you know i like you. unlike the rest of this lot, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.  ❞ ❝  if you love somebody, set them free.  ❞ ❝  if you hate me so deeply, why don’t you tell me to my face?  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid you’d not realize which way the wind was blowing if you pissed straight into it.  ❞ ❝  that was courageous. i'd never expect it from you.  ❞ ❝  i am not easily impressed, but i must admit you have succeeded, my dear.  ❞ ❝  kill me if you must. i’ve nothing to live for anyway.  ❞ ❝  aren’t you an extraordinary beauty.  ❞ ❝  never suspected you believed such things.  ❞ ❝  wait...you want to go with me? out of the question.  ❞ ❝  used to it. not the first time i’ve been hunted.  ❞ ❝  enough of this hesitation, this fretting, these feelings of guilt!  ❞ ❝  strange working with you. strange, but great.  ❞ ❝  give me a moment. i must don something more appropiate and concealing.  ❞ ❝  killing comes as naturally to me as blowing my nose.  ❞ ❝  ......   another tale of a life compromised and ultimately claimed by greed and ambition.  ❞ ❝  in the future, though, remember this --- i can look after myself  ❞ ❝  you'd really worry about me if i went on alone?  ❞ ❝  you have many merits. you merely hide them from the world very diligently.  ❞ ❝  is it true virtue always trumps villainy?  ❞ ❝  watch my movements. i’m spry as a cat and sly as a fox.  ❞ ❝  ah, if only this could last forever.  ❞ ❝  few i can rely on like i can on you. kinda hoping you think the same of me.  ❞ ❝  you are angry at the whole world. you feel inferior, feel pain, though you mask this with confidence, arrogance, even.  ❞ ❝  there exist worries for which there quite simply is no other medicine.  ❞ ❝  your bones look thin, your breathing’s wheezy. afraid one punch might kill you.  ❞ ❝  to love is to build a house of cards, or play a game of chess, but one word or ill-thought move and you must start it all afresh.  ❞ ❝  i’m doing what i ever wanted to do, being who i wanted to be. i believe that’s one definition of happiness.  ❞ ❝  you’ve not an ounce of refinement in you, have you?  ❞ ❝  pain rules the body, but fear is born in the heart.  ❞ ❝  either i get burned, or i’ll burn all else down. no other options.  ❞ ❝  should you decide your sword is the sole solution, i shall not stand in your way.  ❞ ❝  c’mon, come closer.  ❞ ❝  would you prefer i treated you like the lying manipulater you are?  ❞ ❝  i regret nothing. one lives but once.  ❞ ❝  i just hope this tale has a happy ending. for me, for you. for everyone.  ❞ ❝  just gonna go our seperate ways? no parting words?  ❞ ❝  you still stand to be quite useful to me.  ❞ ❝  i suppose you wanted to frighten me...alas, you didn’t in the least. after all, i’m a monster too, am i not?  ❞ ❝  i trust no one. learned that long ago.  ❞ ❝  it cannot be! you actually have a sense of humor.  ❞ ❝  didn’t ask for a lecture on probability. need a simple answer --- yes or no.  ❞ ❝  another word, and i shall spill even more blood. yours.  ❞ ❝  you feel resentment, i understand, but we shall work through all the unfortunate matters of the past.  ❞ ❝  stop playing dumb. i know everything...your plan.  ❞ ❝  honestly can’t see what all those dames see in you --- you’re a stick in the mud.  ❞ ❝  not showy, lovely location...perfect for romantic getaways.  ❞ ❝  i hope you’re not upset i came like this, without warning...  ❞ ❝  i’m still a long way from mastering anything. but i am trying.  ❞ ❝  now i know how you do it. just annoy your opponents to death.  ❞ ❝  word on the street is there’s a hefty bounty on your head.  ❞ ❝  for a few days now i’ve been having dizzy spells.  ❞ ❝  i’ve always had a way with ostensibly dangerous types.  ❞ ❝  wound doesn’t look good.    patch that up quick if i were you, before it starts festering.  ❞ ❝  always seemed to me you were a very complicated creature, by nature. not one to resort to such simple methods like drinking your worries away.  ❞ ❝  may i be honest? yes, i’m nervous. i really would prefer to just run off.  ❞ ❝  father always said a wise man learns from others’ mistakes, so here i am, learning from his.  ❞ ❝  ever since that horrid night...everything has changed.  ❞ ❝  what’s wrong? afraid? gut feeling queasy?  ❞ ❝  used to bother me, all your secrets...now i know if you have something to tell me, you��ll tell me.  ❞ ❝  i so don’t feel like going anywhere. sit here a while longer?  ❞ ❝  there’s something i’d like to know...how can you be so damned calm?  ❞ ❝  my knees quake like a carnival rattle.  ❞ ❝  honestly didn’t think this’d work. doubted anything would happen.  ❞

Your Place

Warnings: Near death experience, more angst than I usually write

Venti x GN!Reader

1.2k Words

You were six when you first met Venti. He was hiding behind some curtains on the second story, third-to-the-right corridor. Slipping behind the curtains as well, you whisper, “Hi! Whatcha doing?” Apparently you were being too sneaky because he jumped into the air and you had to cover his mouth before he screamed.

“Shhh,” you hushed him. “You must’ve been hiding for a reason, and if you scream we’re gonna get caught! Got it?” He nodded vigorously so you let him go. “Thanks for that,” he said. “I’ve been hiding from my tutors, they want to teach me ar-ith-ma-tic but I don’t wanna.” You nod, not knowing exactly what he’s talking about but knowing what it’s like that hide when you don’t want to do something.

“Follow me, there’s a place we can go where we won’t get caught.” You instruct him. “Just be quiet or they’ll catch us and give away the spot.” Venti nods again and follows you quietly down the stairs, two rights, a left, and three doors down. This was your secret place. An old closet that no one realized didn’t have anything in it any more.

It was large for a closet and had plenty of space for two people. “Wow, this is awesome!” He loudly whispered. “I never knew there was a place like this!” You giggle. “That’s the point silly! No one can know, so don’t tell anyone. Pinky promise?” His pinkie loops around yours. “Yeah, I promise.”

Over the next many years the two of you spend a lot of time together, stolen away in that closet. You learn a lot about each other and end up developing feelings as well. It took a little while for the two of you to come to terms with that. But when you did, those moments became more than just a break from life, they became magical moments to never forget.

However, it was not to be. One moment the two of you were together in your closet, the next you were yanked out, informed that Venti was the crown prince, and ordered to stay far away from him. "Know your place," you were told. Later you received orders sending you on a quest far away from the castle, far away from your lover.

As you packed, you wondered some to yourself. Why didn’t he tell me he was the prince? Did he really like me? Was this all a game to him? How is it fair that I’m being sent away when I didn’t even know I was doing anything wrong?

Your questions never made it past your lips as you left the castle on your quest. Looking back you can see that you were still in shock. You remained in shock until you reached your destination. Then you snapped out of it, because you had to. The quest was to clear the entire north-western forest of Hilichurls. This mission was no regular mission. It was meant to either indefinitely detain you… or it was meant to kill you.

But what was there to do? Here you are, far from home, all alone, with a death quest. Did you regret the time you spent with (Prince) Venti that got you here? ...no, no you couldn’t bring yourself to regret that. There was nowhere to go but forward. So you rolled up your sleeves and got to work.

Seven months in, you haven’t made much progress on your quest. Your skills have grown a lot and you aren’t in danger of dying to slimes anymore. But your luck has started to run out. Bigger and badder monsters are starting to take note of you and seek you out. So far you’ve been able to handle them. It’s inevitable that one will come that you won’t be able to handle.

That day comes sooner than you think. One moment you’re fighting a couple Hilichurls, the next you’re turning to face a Mitachurl behind you. You’re unprepared and completely outmatched. Still you fight as long as you can before you’re knocked to the ground, stunned. At this point you know there’s no way you’re getting out of this alive. Your eyes close as you accept your unavoidable death. If only… if only you could have seen him one last time…

An arrow whistles past and you hear a ‘thwap’ then a ‘thud’. You carefully open one eye, then try to sit up before gasping in pain and lying back down. Someone calls your name, but the sudden pain has become overwhelming. “...please, don’t leave! Don’t let me be too late!” You hear before you surrender to the darkness.

The next few days are spent in a haze of pain, drifting in and out of consciousness. Someone is taking care of you but you don’t quite know who. They seem familiar though and you feel safe with them. A few tears roll down your cheeks at this realization. You’ve missed people. You’ve missed feeling safe.

You finally fully regain consciousness a week later. From what you can see without moving, it looks like whoever saved you set up camp not too far from where you were attacked. The camp is nicer than the basic one you were given some materials for before you left. The bedroll you’re on is certainly nicer at least.

Something- no, someone warm is pressed up against your back. Their arms are wrapped around you. You try to carefully turn to face them before hissing in pain and settling back down right where you were. But apparently your movement and hiss were enough to wake them and they hurriedly woke up and helped you roll over onto your back.

You open your eyes, hissing in pain again at your first attempt before your eyes adjust to the light of day. Blinking another few times to try and wipe the sleep from your eyes clears your vision. But you still blink a couple more times, because this couldn’t possibly be real. What in the world would Venti be doing here?

“What are you doing here?” You murmur, confused. “You’re the Prince, your place is on the throne, not in some forest.” Venti is, in fact, there at your bedside. He falls to his knees, grasps one of your hands tightly in his, and gives a small sob. “I save your life and that’s the first thing you say? I thought I was too late! I thought I was going to lose you!” A drop of water falls on you. It isn’t raining.

“And you’re wrong. My place has never been on the throne, note without you there! It didn’t take long for me to realize that a life there, without you, wasn’t worth living. So I came to find you. I can’t believe they tried to kill you. I’m so glad I wasn’t too late.

“There are so many things I haven’t said yet and feared I’d never be able to. I love you so, so much. You’re the light of my life. You make me happy and laugh when no one else can. You mean everything to me. My place is by your side.” He presses a kiss to the back of your hand. You smile. “Thank you, Venti,” you say. “That means a lot to me. I love you lots too. Life just hasn’t been the same without you. So despite all the trouble we’ve been through, I’m glad you’re here.”

Things don’t get better immediately, and you have a couple scars to show for the experience. But Venti is with you every step of the way to reassure you that he loves you, no matter what. You’re in this together, so everything will be alright.

RaccoonInnit. (a Rewind one-shot?)

This a ficlet based on the fanfic Rewind by @a-non-ymouswriter, and exploring what if Tommy and Tubbo were hybrids in the Rewind universe. Especially with Tommy being very clingy because of trauma.

TW (Trigger warning) for emotional abuse, manipulation and mention of self-harm.

Wanna read more?

Apologies for any grammar errors, english is not my first language.

—————

Hybrids.

They come in many shapes and sizes, including different abilities that help with survival. But with every advantage comes a disadvantage, or a necessity to keep living.

And for Tommy Innit, there was one necessity that always made him feel ashamed.

He isn’t clingy, at least not all the time. But when spring is over, and the leaves start to fall, holding on to precious things is necessary to feel at ease and ready for the dangerous seasons. It's something that raccoon hybrids often do, hug their family or friends tightly at a young age to feel protected, and then offer protection when they reach adulthood.

If he could change one thing about his life, it would be that.

********

"You too, huh?" Dream asks awkwardly, Theo's head is buried in one of his shoulders with his arms close around his body.

Tobias is in front of him, his eyes look away and he doesn't give him an answer. He only pulls Tommy closer to him, even though the boy is already clutching his left arm very strongly.

Sapnap and George try not to laugh next to him, but the other people around don't find the situation as funny as they do. They are supposed to have a meeting after all. And both Tobias and Dream manage to sit with the two people still clinging to them.

Well, this will be difficult. He thinks as he notices how Theo closes his grip a little more tightly and hears faintly the sound of a growl. But he is not upset by it.

The thing that made him upset was finding out that Theo had hidden that need from them. George had been the first one to notice him a little distant, but by the time they really thought something was wrong, they found the man curled up in his bed around blankets, ears twitching, ringtail bristling, and awfully whimpering.

None of them were animal hybrids, but that doesn't mean they couldn’t have asked, that's why Dream was angrier at himself when he demanded Theo for an explanation.

"I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable." His protege had said with a low gaze and clearly embarrassed.

After hearing that, Dream didn't hesitate to give permission to be hugged.

********

Tobias feels angry.

He is feeling a lot of things actually. Happy being hugged by Tommy, frustrated at the sight of Dream with Theo, and hurt by seeing the aggressive look in the eyes of his old best friend. Unlike Tommy in his arms, who almost seemed to be sleeping with a faint smile.

But I deserve that look, don't I? He remembers one day, very long ago, when Theo asked him with an embarrassed face if he could hug him for the rest of the day. What was his response?

"I don't think that’s a good idea, we have a meeting discussing your situation, remember?" George's house had been burned and Dream had asked for consequences. "Besides, it would look embarrassing."

But by the time he saw the dirt pillar reaching the sky, he wished nothing more than to be able to hold Tommy one more time and never let go. He would've been more clingy than his friend would’ve ever needed.

And then Dream showed up with him. The strike of anger and jealousy that he felt during the winter days after, thinking of how his friend would hug that smug bastard looking for safety.

That mental picture always made him regret so many things.

********

Dream knew exactly what to do when Tommy, face red and looking down, grabbed his hoodie in silence.

In the free time he got between his visits to Logstedshire, he had read a lot of things about raccoon hybrids. How they tend to be aggressive towards people they distrust, how they used to find small places to sleep often away from big groups of people, how needy they could become during cold days.

He hugged the boy, moving himself and Tommy to the small tent to avoid the rain.

Sitting in the bed, he stroked the boy's hair and ears, and he noticed small sobs coming from him.

"Why?" Tommy's voice sounded hurt, but he didn't move away. "Why do I only have you?"

Dream only pulled him closer. "Because I'm your friend, Tommy." and the boy only cried more.

They stayed like that for quite a while, until Tommy's breathing got slower. What started with him clutching Dream's hoodie, ended with him hugging the man during his sleep.

After that, hugging Dream became a habit during the rainy days.

********

Tubbo woke up with a jolt when he heard a clap of thunder. The hard sound made an echo in the presidential office.

It was raining a lot those days. But as he looked at the window, a sudden fear rose up inside him as he remembered something. He almost collided with Ranboo as he exited the room.

"Tubbo? Wha- What's wrong? Are you-"

"I need to go to Tommy." He quickly walked past him.

"Tommy?" Ranboo's voice was close to a whisper. But he hurried up to follow him. "Why do you want to see him?"

Tubbo tried to ignore how soft the voice of the hybrid had turned. "It's raining. He gets clingy when it's cold and he needs someone to hold onto."

That's when Ranboo blocked his way, meters before he could get to the front door. "Step away, please." Tommy needed him, but the tall man grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Tubbo, he is- You can't go see him."

"Why not?" His voice grew louder and he felt irritated as he took one step forward. "He can't come back, but that doesn't mean I can't go to him. Let me through!"

"I'm not letting you go there, Tubbo." His tone was firm. After all, if he exited the building, Ranboo wouldn't be able to follow.

But goat hybrids are stubborn, especially when something is standing in their way. His horns tackled Ranboo's chest strongly, but his tall friend didn't move.

"I need to see him Ranboo!" He put all his strength into trying to push him. "I shouldn't have exiled him! He is all alone, don't you get it?!" Tubbo tried to ignore the tears running down his cheeks. "Wilbur- he's gone, Phil and Techno are not here either. I- I'm the only he can..."

He dropped to his knees as Ranboo held him close. "He is too proud to admit it. He- He bites himself to try to avoid asking. He did that a lot in Pogtopia."

"I- I know. You told me."

"Please, let me go."

"I can't."

"Why?..." How did he forget the answer?

"Tubbo," Ranboo embraced him, his voice sounding choked as well. "He's gone."

********

Philza turned around when he felt his cape being pulled.

They'd just finished their part of the outing and his son stood behind him with that horrible smiling mask covering his face.

"Tommy?" he talked to him in the softest tone he could, like treating a small animal that could flee at any second.

It was strange when Dream left Tommy with Phil for the mission of the day, and it was even stranger that his son had started a contact after being silent for months. He missed his voice, louder than Techno’s and warm like Wil’s. Ender, he missed him so much. Even so, he tried to hide the hope in his words. "Do you need something?"

Just let me hear you. Talk to me, please. But the boy didn't answer, his ears were down and his ring tail moved slowly. "We're close to the base, I know you want to wait for Dream but it's getting cold-"

He stopped as Tommy’s head hit Phil's chest weakly, and his hand grabbed part of his robe.

It's something that raccoon hybrids often do.

Philza couldn't resist a fond smile.

He realized that his hands were shaking when they rose up to touch the boy’s hair, and he caressed his ears as gently as he could.

Closing his eyes, forcing some painful memories away, he remembered his younger boy's face, blue eyes with a shy and pleading look to be held. He remembered the warmth of holding him during the rainy days when he was little. And when he remembered how Tommy called him dad a long time ago, Phil's eyes started to tear up.

His arms hugged Tommy strongly. Avians had instincts too. Wrap their loved ones in their wings it served to provide, or in his case, feel comfort. And so his black wings surrounded his son in a tight embrace as he breathed in the boy's hair.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please don't go. He wanted to scream those words but for some reason, he couldn't. He felt Tommy shaking and his grip tightened a little bit more.

He didn't want to let go, no if it meant the boy going back with Dream.

He could kill him, he thought. Once Techno came back, they could end with the nightmare that surrounded them and his son would finally be safe.

But his thoughts of hope were interrupted when he noticed how Tommy was struggling under him. And he barely managed to avoid the swing of the ax directed at his heart.

"Tommy?! What-?" The boy was crying away from Phil. Tears dropped below the mask, he listened to ugly breathing as Tommy hyperventilated, his tail moved aggressively and he heard a growl coming from him.

He forgot that Tommy was claustrophobic.

"Mate, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

Tommy's ears moved quickly to the side and his head turned. Dream was walking towards them with Techno next to him. And before he noticed, the boy ran towards the other masked man and tackled him into a hug.

Could he really call himself Tommy's father? Shame and frustration filled his broken heart as he watched Tommy being petted by the man he hated. "It's fine, Toms. I'm here." Dream seemed ignorant of the deadly looks he got from him and Techno. "We took longer than we thought, but I knew you could hold on."

As sick as Dream’s games were, that was the moment Phil started to question if he really deserved to have Tommy back.

********

Technoblade thought that Tommy was running at him.

It was a foolish thought, the voices told him, but it still hurt. He would've asked what happened, but when he saw Phil's look of regret and frustration, he could get an idea.

Especially when it also happened to him a few weeks ago. The last rains started to become poisonous to every living thing that wasn't crimson. Lucky for them, the most basic armor could offer protection, but the durability would drop quickly.

And because of that, he, Tommy, and Dream were waiting for the rain to pass inside some caves next to a mountain.

The green man went deep, looking for coal to make torches in case mobs would spawn in the dark. That left the piglin hybrid with Tommy. The raccoon boy curled up against a wall, hugging his legs with his mask covering his face.

And he sat next to him. Not too close to touch, but enough to notice the boy shaking, the fur on his ring tail was bristling as well.

"I'm here, you know." He told him. Just like his father, he had noticed the way the boy fiddled with his tail and tried to hide his ears in his hoodie. "We don't have to talk, and I won't hug you back if you don't want to."

In the past, when Tommy's pride got the worst of him, Techno would always tell Wilbur or Phil. It was his way of compensating for the fact that he didn't like that kind of physical contact.

But at that moment, he was more than willing to let Tommy hold him as much as he needed to, even if it would take all of his strength not to hug back, even if the boy despised his existence, and even when he knew that he had lost all right to call Tommy his brother. He wanted to be there for him.

But the raccoon hybrid kept quiet. Only when he looked at him he realized that he was sleeping. Shivering, but his breathing was slow.

"Tech, I'm cold." He frowned at the memory. The voices began to speak louder, demanding that he give some warmth.

Techno's eyes stared at him softly. Despite not being sixteen anymore, Tommy still looked so small next to him. His arm surrounded him, but before making contact, another memory came.

Suddenly, it was not the boy resting anymore, he was curled up on the floor, shaking, blood dripping from his nose, and with several bruises on his face.

"It stays in the pit."

His hand backed off immediately. A wave of quiet anger filled his mind. Some of the voices were cruel to remind him of that sight.

Blue eyes saw him with anger once. And then again in a plain, in a little refuge whose name Techno had already forgotten. Tommy looked at him that way when he mocked his pain. And that look would be engraved in his heart for the rest of his days, he wouldn't forget.

How could he? When the boy's face was getting hard to remember recently, always covered in a mask and staying silent.

Technoblade felt the most pain at the thought of forgetting Tommy's face.

He stood up and left his cape around the boy carefully. He walked until he reached the exit of the caves. It was still raining, so he leaned on one of the walls and watched the raindrops slowly kill everything.

He breathed, ordering his thoughts and calming every single voice. Their mission wasn't over. The best thing he could do was not lose his focus.

A few minutes later, he heard footsteps behind him, and the smiling mask appeared in his vision. Dream held his cape in front of him.

It was a single second of confusion. He grabbed the cape and the masked man spoke, making Techno's rage rise once again.

"Don't show compassion now, Technoblade. You once told him to die, and I pushed him to keep living."

Dream went back to the caves without expecting an answer, leaving him alone with the screaming in his head, every voice demanding blood, and never getting the satisfaction.

Techno liked to consider himself a calm individual, able to control his emotions better than others. But the voices called him a hypocrite when he pictured all the ways he could kill the masked man beside him.

********

Tobias blinks a couple of times when he feels a movement by his side.

And he almost screams seeing Theo clutching part of his shirt, eyes closed, and sleeping very peacefully over his shoulder.

For a second he considers the possibility of him dreaming, but he remembers entering Tubbo's house just minutes ago, he sat on the big couch feeling tired, and he didn't hear Theo come in.

He must be waiting for him. He recalls Dream asking Theo to wait since there were other matters to be discussed. And Tommy had gone with Tubbo to do other things as well.

A little part of him feels sad that he can't stop time at this very moment. But a warm feeling fills him as well, and he closes his eyes getting closer to the body beside him.

Just like raccoon hybrids often hug their family or friends.

He smiles. Theo can kill him later, he wants to enjoy the moment a little more.

—————

Man, this was a long one. You could say this is a bunch of ficlets into one? I dunno I just wanted to write something sad.

Closure

Pairings: Young ! Sirius Black x Reader 

Warnings: angst, swearing, heartbreak 

Word count: 2k + 

Summary: Good or bad, sometimes all you need is closure. 

A/N: Again, it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything but I had this one sitting in my drafts so I thought I’d go back through, fix it up a little and post it. Originally it was 5k + so I’ve broken it in half. I’ll post the other half once I’ve finished going through it. I really hope you like this one ! x 

Tags: @the--real-wombat @sleepylunarwolf @strangenerdsstuff @ashkuuuu @dottirose @fairywriter-oracle @miraclesoflove @daddy-padfoot @angelastein2010 @addled @disneykidafi @wanna-see-my-lease​ - you can add yourself via the link on my masterlist or send me an ask 

The storm rages. 

It blankets the city in a thick sheet of rain, thunder rumbling in the distance as the lightning flickers through the dark clouds. It was wild and chaotic, the worst storm that London had had in months; the big, fat drops of water enough to send everyone scurrying under cover. The drizzly evening matched your mood perfectly as you sat in your car, goose bumps prickling along your skin from your damp clothes, the windshield fogging up even more with each frigid breath. 

You close your eyes and sigh, clenching and unclenching your fists around the steering wheel as you war with yourself. You’d made the decision with a clear head this morning, convincing yourself it was what you wanted to do, but now you weren’t so sure, a rolling train of insecurities flooding through your mind. Opening your eyes you glance over at the box sitting on your passenger seat, a thousand memories you didn’t want to think about mixed in with the knick knacks. That damn box had been mocking you for the last five days and you’d finally had enough. After all, you were the one that had the ridiculous notion in your head that doing this was going to bring you some kind of closure; that seeing him again, when neither of you were angry and out for blood might take away some of the hurt. 

Sucking your bottom lip between your teeth you look through the window, to the townhouse your parked in front of, the large front windows lit up from inside. You loved those windows, the way the sun would pour in first thing in the morning, warming your favourite spot on the couch. It didn’t seem fair, that the house you used to call home still had so much life to it while you were barely making it through each day, drifting further and further from the person you used to be. Your car keys jingle in your hand and once again you’re fighting yourself over what to do. You don’t even know if he’s home, you could just drop the box off at the door and leave, make a clean getaway and go back to pretending your moving on with your life but… 

No. Despite everything you need to see him. 

Dragging the box up onto your lap you give yourself no time to overthink before heading out into the rain, shivering as cold water runs down your back. You hurry up the driveway but by the time you make it to the front step your still saturated, the reasonably neat bun you’d worn your hair in now a soggy, limp mess at the back of your head. The flood light comes on above you and you freeze, eyes wide as the lock on the door clicks. You start wondering how quickly you can run back to your car before he realises who it is but before you can make any kind of choice the door swings open. 

Your throat constricts, your heart beating so fast inside your chest you’re worried it might just give out. Sirius stands there in the doorway, bathed in the soft glow from the house, wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. His curls are deliciously messy, haphazardly pulled back in a loose bun and there’s more scruff on his face then you were used to seeing. You force yourself to swallow around the hard lump in the back of your throat. 

His brow dips as he looks at you dripping on his welcome mat, clearly as surprised to see you as you were over being caught. You shuffle awkwardly on the spot, feeling your cheeks get warm. “Hi…” You thrust the box towards him with the lame greeting. “I found some of your stuff mixed in with mine and I just thought I’d...drop them off.” “In the middle of a thunderstorm?”

  His voice is like a hard slap to the face, at the same time making you miss him more while also dredging up all the heartbreak you’d tried squashing down. Your relationship had crumbled to pieces in front of your eyes eight weeks ago and by the abysmal end you weren’t on speaking terms. You’d packed up your things and walked out without so much as a backwards glance.

“Yeah… I was - I was on my way… home.” You choke out the last word. You didn’t think of the apartment you moved into home and you don’t think you ever will. This was your home, the place you’d shared with Sirius for the last five years, the place you missed with your whole heart. 

Sirius blows out a long sigh and shoves his hand through his hair, tangling it up even more. He chews the corner of his lip, eyes darting between the box in your hands and your dishevelled appearance. An awkward, miserable silence settles between the two of you as you lightly bounce on the balls of your feet. “I guess it’s kind of cold out here,” His tone isn’t angry but it’s not all that welcoming either. “You can come in while the rain eases.” 

Yes. Yes… that’s all you want. To go inside and forget all about the last two months, and the three before that were you and Sirius were constantly at each other’s throats. You want it to all go back to how it was before, when you knew that he was who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. When your friends didn’t have to feel guilty over spending time with one of you and not the other. You just wanted it to go back to when Sirius loved you more than anything else…  You knew it wouldn’t though. There was no going back. 

You shake your head as you take a step back, willing the few tears in the corner of your eyes to stay there. You place the box down, suddenly remembering why you were there in the first place. “I - I gotta go.” 

No more than five feet down the driveway you feel Sirius’ hand grab your arm, stopping you from leaving. His grip isn’t tight, you could pull away if you wanted to, but his touch feels like a live wire on your skin and you can’t move. Another crack of thunder - this one closer - sounds above your head, the rain cascading down over your body as you look up at your ex, his shirt now glued to his body, accentuating the planes of muscle under the fabric.  “You can’t drive in this weather,” He reasons. “Come inside.” 

Against your better judgement you let him lead you into the house, immediately missing the warmth of his touch as he lets you go to close and lock the door. You wrap your arms around yourself, only now realising how much you’re actually shivering. Sirius seems to notice as well because he frowns, his hand twitching by his side as though he’s trying to decide if he should reach out to you again. He looks conflicted, like he’s tossing up over whether he should care or not that you’re cold. 

“I can get you some dry clothes,” He says, motioning towards the hallway. “Why don’t you have a shower and warm yourself up, I think there’s still some of your stuff in the cupboard. I … I didn’t go through it.” “It’s fine,” You force out, your voice no higher than a whisper. “I don’t want to impose and I really should be going anyway.” “I told you, you can’t drive in weather like this. A shower won’t hurt right? You’ll feel better.”  It might hurt, you think. But truthfully a shower did sound pretty good right about now. 

Once you agree you follow Sirius down the hall, stopping a couple of doors before he does. You flip on the light in the bathroom, breathing in deeply as you smell his body wash lingering on the air. Everything looks exactly the same - minus your makeup littering the vanity and it makes you kind of sad. Sirius taps his knuckles on the door jam, making you jump as you turn to face him. He holds out some clothes, looking at everything except you as you take them gratefully. There’s a bitter sting in your chest as you notice they’re his clothes. You suppose there’s nothing of yours still here but it still makes your throat feel dry as you hold them against your chest. “Thanks,” You mumble. “Take all the time you want, don’t feel like you have to rush or anything.” 

He walks away and you shut the door, leaning back against it heavily as you bring the clothes up to your nose, inhaling the scent on them, catching the barely there whiff of your perfume. It was the t-shirt you always used to wear to bed. Faded, old and full of more holes then a golf course, but you loved it and not all that long ago Sirius loved seeing you in it. Leaving them on the vanity you turn on the tap, letting it warm all the way up before stripping out of your clothes. You step under the stream of water, cold feet burning as the water hits them. It’s the right kind of pain though. There wasn’t much better than a shower when you were cold. 

For a few minutes you just stand there, the heat relaxing some of the tension in your muscles. You think about everything that had happened tonight, confused why Sirius was acting the way he was. There was a part of you that had assumed he’d slam the door in your face, spit something hurtful and tell you that he never wanted to see you ever again. Best case scenario you thought he wouldn’t open the door at all, just leaving you standing outside looking like the fool. The fact that he was being kind of… nice made you feel guilty for thinking those things about him. Just because you weren’t dating anymore didn’t mean that he was going to stop caring. Of all the things that Sirius was, he was never cruel. Tonight more than proved that.

Rinsing the body wash off you stepped out of the shower, digging your toes into the fluffy mat as you grabbed your towel, the steam still swirling around the small room. You take your time drying off, nervous about heading back there and facing him. You don’t know how to talk to him anymore, even though at one point he’d been one of your best friends - long before he was your boyfriend. You’re just slipping his old t-shirt over your head when the light cuts out, bathing you in sudden darkness. You reach blindly for where you think the switch is, flipping it a couple of times when you find it, groaning when it does nothing to help. It takes a couple of goes but you finally find the door handle, fully expecting that the bathroom globe had just blown and the rest of the house would still be lit up. The whole house is in darkness though, the hairs standing up on the back of your neck as you head towards the living room, an eerie kind of silence filling the house. It’s too quiet without the background noise of the tv or fridge, the only sound coming from the storm outside. “Sirius?” You call out hesitantly, the lightning flashing in the windows casting long shadows along the walls. 

You feel something graze across your shoulder and you turn quickly, the scream dying in your throat as you see Sirius standing behind you, his face lit up by the torch on his phone. “The whole streets out,” He says flatly. “Does your phone have much battery?” “Uh…” You head back into the bathroom, the light from Sirius’ phone making it easier to see where you left yours on the vanity. You frown when you check the battery levels. “It’s only got about thirty three percent, won’t last long.” 

Sirius groans, scrubbing a hand over his face as he looks off towards the living room, a frown on his face, his expression guarded, unreadable. “You don’t remember if we had a torch do you?” “I don’t think so,” You answer, wrapping your arms tight around yourself. “I think there’s some candles in the lounge though… or there was.” 

Without a word he shuffles past you and walks down the hall. You follow behind him, watching as he grabs some candles from the cupboard on the tv cabinet. It feels a lot like he just packed you away, hid all the things that reminded him of you. He grabs the matches from the same cupboard, striking one and lighting the candles he’d scattered across the coffee table. Soon the room is illuminated with a soft light. It feels warmer somehow, like it’s taken the chill off the room. Sirius sits on the couch and suddenly that awkward silence is back. 

Biting your lip you move across and sit down, keeping as far from him as possible, holding your hands tightly in your lap. You hate how it is between the both of you, how this breakup had rocked the two of you down to your core. While you were simply trying to make it through each new day, Sirius had put walls up around himself and was clearly in no hurry to let you know how he was really feeling. You bite the edge of your lip and wring your hands together. “Crazy storm hey?” You aim for light hearted customer service voice but it comes out forced and a little flat. 

Sirius scoffs. “You want to talk about the weather? Really?” “Well it doesn’t seem like you want to have any other kind of conversation… actually it seems like you prefer not talking at all, so let’s just sit here in awkward silence.” “There’s nothing to say.” “You and I both know that’s not true. I just want you to talk to me Sirius, hell yell at me if it’s going to make you feel better; get everything off your chest. Just say something.” “Why now y/n? Why do you suddenly want to air all our dirty laundry? It’s not like you were this desperate to talk about it before.” “That’s not fair,” You reply, digging your fingernails into the palm of your hands. “I tried talking to you, for months before we ended things Sirius. You’re the one that never wanted to deal with it.” 

Sirius stands abruptly, stalking to the other side of the room before whirling back to face you, that unreadable expression - the one he’d been wearing since he opened the door - finally breaking. You can’t see him properly from all the shadows in the room but you can see enough to notice the hurt in his eyes. He opens his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the right way to say what he wants to. When he can’t, he storms from the room. You watch him go with a frustrated sigh. 

It was all coming to the surface, everything before and after the breakup, all of the feelings the two of you had buried, squashed down and tried to pretend didn’t still exist. The flood gates were open and good or bad the two of you needed closure.

A poly lost boys x reader who gets bullied in school. But hear me out! So she gets bullied but one day they(the bullies) pour this sort of 'bleach' over her and it gets into her eyes and her hair color changed. And so she avoids the boys as much as possible so they show up to her house and see her how would they react and deal with the bullies?

Thank you for the request! Also the part where she gets bleach in her eyes I cut out because she would have permanent damage in her eyes if that were to happen. So only her hair gets bleached. I hope you don’t mind.

Another long fanfic :) hope you enjoy!

Bullied (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

warning(s): angst & violence

Being picked on every now and then is one thing, but being brutally bullied by the most popular girls in school is another. The worst part was, everyone seemed to love and worship them. You hated going to school. Everyone believed their nasty comments about you, and soon you didn’t have anyone on your side.

The boys were your only escape from it all. They treated you like a princess. You were gorgeous to them, and that’s all that really mattered. Their complements made you feel special and confident. As long as you were beautiful in their eyes, the nasty girls that were bullying you opinions didn’t phase you. Of course it still hurt, but you had the boys, and you loved them.

You got used to the bullying after a while. The boys were unaware of it because you didn’t know exactly how they’d react. They were a bit protective of you. Before you met the boys the bullying wasn’t as bad, but when you started dating them it got worse. Those horrible girls found out and started called you a whore and slut for dating four boys at once. They were jealous. You knew that, but the harsh name calling got to you sometimes. You never let them see you cry though. All they wanted was to get a reaction out of you, and you knew that.

This day didnt start off any different from the rest. You went to school, got some dirty looks from your schoolmates, and went to your classes. The only difference was, you hadn’t seen the mean girls who’d bully you. Perhaps today would be better than you’d thought.

Lunch came around and you were forced to eat some of the disgusting cafeteria food. The smell made you want to gag. As you were walking towards the lunch tables [insert bully girl name] called you over to her. You didn’t trust her one bit. She had been bullying you for a while, so why should you trust her?

“Come here! I just wanna talk to you,” she said waving you over to her. You rolled you eyes thinking that she was just going to pick on you. You decided to walk over anyway, but standing a couple feet away from her to keep your distance.

She looked over at you, giving you the up and down stare. “So, hows your day been?”

“Okay, I guess,” You said feeling very confused. There was no way this girl would want to start a friendship with you.

“Well, I called you over here because I wanted to ask you a few questions,” She said which made you feel a bit worried.

“What kind of questions?” You asked giving her a questioning look.

“Well i wanted to know if you were really dating those four guys?” She asked with a slight smirk on her face. “Or if it’s just a rumor.”

You rolled your eyes again thinking she was just going to call you a whore. “Yes I am.”

Instead of doing that, she sighed and looked to the ground. “You must be lucky.”

“Yeah umm, yeah I guess I am,” You said with a small smile creeping on your face as you thought of how lucky you were.

“Actually, umm,” she said with a pause. “I didn’t call you over here to ask you questions.”

You sighed. “Then why’d you call me over here?” You asked with slight attitude knowing that this girl was not trustworthy.

“I wanted to apologize,” she said fidgeting a bit.

“For what?” You said giving her a strange look. If she was going to give you an apology for all those years of bullying, then you wanted to hear her say it.

“I’m sorry for...” she paused again. Her eyes looked to the ground as she was speaking. Then all of a sudden her expression changed. Her apologetic frown changed into a slight smirk, but at the same time she was giving you a look of disgust in her eyes. “I’m sorry for your boyfriends, because they have to deal with an ugly slut like you!” She smiled as if she was proud of what she was saying. You sighed again while mentally cursing yourself for even believing that she’d give you an apology.

“Now!” She yelled but you could tell that she wasn’t talking to you. She backed away from you quickly as if she was running for something. Then all of a sudden you felt some drops of liquid start to fall on you. At first you thought it was rain, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. You weren’t too fazed by it until you recognized the smell. It was a strong smell that was hard to forget. Before you could try to run away, a whole waterfall of the substance was dumped on top of you. As if someone was standing above you with a bucket and on purposely dropped it all over you.

The smell was now stronger than ever. Your hair and clothes were now all wet, but not with water. You noticed your top had completely lost its color, and a nightmare you’d never thought would happen to you was happening. This was bleach. You were practically inhaling it, so you started to cough. A sound that happened to be louder than your coughing made you pause. Laughter. From the girls you hated the most. You looked above you and saw that a couple of them were standing on the building you were in front of, so you were right below them.

Reality sunk in quick. This was no nightmare. Your worst enemies had just poured bleach all over you. Your hands started to shake. Not out of pain, but out of fear and shock.

“Hey y/n!” One of the girls said while still laughing. “It’s not so bad. Maybe your boyfriends will like you now, since your hair is bleached.” She cackled.

Your heart sunk to your stomach. Bleach can ruin anyone’s hair, and it was all over you. The sound of those terrible girls laughing filled your ears as you ran to the nearest bathroom. You looked in the mirror and realized your hair was already loosing its natural color. You let out a loud gasp, but to you it sounded silent. You didn’t look like yourself.

Quickly, you turned the handle for the sink letting the water run on your now bleached hair. You tried desperately to remove the beach and get your original color back, but nothing worked. The roots of your hair were now all the same yellow/blonde color.

“Oh, don’t be upset!” Said one of the bully’s. “You don’t look like your ugly self anymore!”

“Go away!” You yelled at them with your bottom lip trembling as you were trying to hide the fact that you were on the brink of sobbing. “Leave me alone!”

“Aww, you gonna cry?” They taunted you. “The little baby’s gonna cry!” You pushed past them and ran out of the bathroom letting tears escape your eyes. You could still hear their laughter and insults from behind you, but you didn’t look back. You ran all the way home not caring that you still had a couple classes to take. Their bullying was never this bad. You were able to handle it for a while, but they crossed the line.

The reflection in your bedroom mirror wasn’t the person you recognized. You felt ugly. Your hair was now all bleached, and you didn’t have the money to go and get it done. All you could do was try to get used to it. Your confidence level was now at zero. You had grown to love your natural hair, and now it was gone. All because of those horrible jealous girls.

The thought of the boys seeing your new hair that you thought was hideous made you want to crawl up in a hole and never come out. You hated seeing the way you now looked, so how would the boys react? You cried yourself to sleep at the thought of them leaving you because of how ugly you now looked. You decided not to go to school for the next few days. Facing the girls wasn’t something you were ready for yet. You didn’t even want to see the boys. From fear of their reactions, you didn’t visit them or call them.

The boys were a little confused on the first night of not showing up on the boardwalk, but they decided not to worry too much about it. They just assumed that maybe you needed some space. After a week of you not speaking to them, the boys started to get worried. You would never just stop talking to them out of the blue. They were all confused, and even a little sad. David knew you well enough to know that you wouldn’t stop talking to them unless you were upset about something. The only problem was, he couldn’t understand what it was. None of them could. They assumed you were mad at them because you weren’t speaking to them, but they had no idea what they had done.

David got pretty impatient after the first week, and he let the boys know that they were going to go to your house if you weren’t going to speak with them. If you wanted to break up, they wanted a reason why.

You had been trying to get some sleep from the nights of crying, but you were taken off guard by hearing the sounds of motorcycles outside your house. You recognized that sound. It was a sound you knew only too well. The boys were here, and they were here for an explanation that you weren’t prepared to give.

Kicking your blankets out of the way as you got out of bed as quick as you could while looking for something that could possibly cover your hair. You found a hoodie and immediately put on. There was no point in trying to escape, you knew the boys would find you. Right as you were putting the hood over your head, you heard your window open.

“Baby?” You could tell by the tone of voice that it was Paul. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You didn’t dare face him. You could already tell that he had his usual pouting sad face on that was just too adorable to be mean to.

“Y/n,” Marko said. “Please, look at us.” His voice was slightly shaky, as if he was worried you wanted to end the relationship.

Your back was still towards them. You knew there was no way out of this, but that didn’t stop you from trying.

“Please go away,” you said feeling tears start to form in your eyes. Marko decided to not listen. He walked up to you and grabbed you lightly by the shoulders forcing you to turn to him. He had a confused yet soft expression on his face.

“What’s the matter?” He asked you while putting his hands on both sides of your face. That question just made you feel worse, and the tears that were threatening to fall were now falling. Marko’s expression was now turned to worry and sadness. He hated seeing you cry. He wiped your tears away with his thumbs before doing what you were trying to avoid. Marko grabbed the sides of the hoodie, and pulled it off of your head.

Your eyes started to tear up again waiting for him to tell you that you looked terrible. Instead, he reached over to touch your bleached hair, and the frown on his face turned into a smile. “Wow.” he said. “You look gorgeous.”

Then they all came up to do with a look of awe in their eyes. You were definitely taken aback by their reactions. You expected them to hate your new hair, but it was the exact opposite.

“Daaammnn sugar, look at you,” Paul said while brushing his fingers through your hair. You giggled at his choice of words.

“It doesn’t look bad?” You asked.

“Bad?!” Marko exclaimed. “Far from it!”

“You look beautiful,” Dwayne said with a smile on his face. “Just as beautiful as you were before.”

“Y/n,” David said catching your attention away from the other boys. “Why have you been ignoring us?” You cringed after hearing that question. You were able to avoid it the first time, but something tells you that you won’t be able to this time. “Did you stop talking to us because you dyed your hair?” David said with slight sarcasm, but also slight attitude.

“N-no. No, it wasn’t that,” you said looking away from the boys.

“Then what was it?” David asked. You could tell he wanted an answer right away, and there wasn’t much you could do.

You sighed. “I didn’t do this to my hair,” The boys looked at each other with a look of confusion on all their faces. “It was forced.”

“What do you mean?” David asked while stroking your face with his knuckles.

“These girls pulled a prank on me last week,” you said half lying. “They dumped bleach all over me, and it changed my hair.”

“A prank?!” Marko asked raising his voice. “That’s no damn prank!” You knew Marko got angry a lot quicker than the other boys did. This wasn’t something he was going to sweep under the rug, Marko was going to want revenge.

“Yeah!” Paul agreed. “Why would they do that to you?” He asked still touching your new hair.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess they just don’t like me.” You refused to tell them that the bullying was caused because the girls were jealous of you for dating them.

“Well who are these girls? I wanna give them a piece of my mind?!” Marko exclaimed.

“No!” You knew that the boys were vampires. You found out accidentally by walking into the cave when Marko was feeding. It didn’t go to well, but the boys managed to convince you that they would never hurt you. But, you already knew that Marko wanted to kill your bullies. “You’ll just make things worse!”

“They deserve this!” Paul said only making matters worse for you. “No one does this to our babe!”

You groaned knowing that the boys wouldn’t stop arguing until they found out who the girls were. You wanted the bullying to stop, but at the same time you didn’t want the girls to die.

David put his hand under your jawline making you into his eyes. “Y/n, tell us who the girls are.” You could tell by the way David was speaking that this wasn’t a request, this was a demand. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now. You walked to your bookshelf and grabbed a yearbook from the previous school year. Flipping through the pages, you found your grade category, and pointed out each of the girls to them.

“That’s them?” Dwayne asked sounding surprised.

“Yeah, you know them?” You asked him.

“Babe, those girls have been trying to get with us for ages. We always rejected them,” Paul said which made you smile.

“Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s go get those girls!” Marko said clearly ready for a killing spree.

“No! Please don’t kill them,” you said grabbing onto Marko’s jacket. “They’re jerks, but they don’t deserve to die.”

“I think they do,” David said smirking at the idea of slaughtering your bullies.

“How about this,” you paused grabbing all of their attention onto you. “You guys can scare them by showing your vampire faces, and they should stay away from me after that right? They’ll probably be too scared to get near me, and no one at school will believe them!”

“I like the killing idea better,” Marko said while pouting in a playful way.

“Please.” Now you were the one pouting.

The boys looked at each other. You knew that they would rather kill all the girls, so you got lucky when they agreed to your plan.

You knew that the mean girls would go to the bonfire late at night for party’s or just to hang out, so that made your plan a bit easier. The boys loved to scare people almost as much as they loved killing, so they were excited for it all to unravel. You rode on the back of David’s bike as he drove to the bonfire with the other boys riding behind him. He drove with a smirk on his face, which meant he was ready to scare the shit out of those girls. You’re his baby, and no one better hurt you.

Luckily, when you all got there, the girls were by themselves. You decided to stay with the bikes, so the girls wouldn’t see you. The thought of being around those girls made you feel uncomfortable. They were terrible people, and you weren’t ready to face them. The boys sure were though. They were ready to make them scream out of fear.

When the girls saw the boys walk towards them they immediately started to get flirty. “What are you guys doing here? Did you come to see us?” One of them said.

“Actually we did,” David said. “We heard what you did to y/n.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry, it was an accident. I swear! The bucket of bleach just happened to drop all over her.” She said sarcastically.

“That was a really bitchy thing to do.” Marko said not buying any of her bullshit.

“Come on, you guys. She wasn’t pretty anyways! We did her a favor. I think you all deserve someone much prettier than her.” Another one of them said walking up to David.

The girls tried to touch David’s chest, but before she could he grabbed her by the wrist. “I think you all need a taste of your own medicine.” He said before completely transforming into his vampire face. The girl gasped and started to scream. David’s grip was too strong, so she couldn’t run away. Dwayne and Paul grabbed the two girls that tried to run away, and Marko grabbed the last girl and pushed her to the ground. He pinned her to the floor with his foot on her back, and he grabbed her by the hair so she’d face up. Marko called you over to him still holding the girl down. By this point all the boys were transformed, making all the girls whimper and cry.

Marko pulled the girls hair hard making her cry out of pain. “I want you to apologize to y/n, and don’t give some sorry ass apology.”

“I-I’m sorry!” She yelled with tears of fear and pain running down her face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry y/n!”

“You’re sorry for what?!” Marko said pulling her hair again.

“I’m sorry for dumping bleach on you y/n!” She whimpered. “I’m so sorry!”

You didn’t respond to her. You wanted to feel bad for her, but you couldn’t. Actually, you felt the exact opposite. You enjoyed seeing the tears run down her face. It reminded you of all the times she made you cry. In a way, it was satisfying. In a sick twisted way, it gave you pleasure. You wanted them to suffer more. They had been making you suffer for too long, and now it was time for it to end. They were messing with the wrong girl.

“Kill them.” You said out of nowhere. The boys all turned to you. They definitely didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth.

“What?” Paul asked a bit shocked.

“Kill them.” You repeated. That was enough clarification for the boys. They started to dig in. Biting and ripping through the girls skin making them scream and sob. Instead of turning away, you decided to watch. You watched as the boys tore off the girls limbs and fingers. You listened to their screams. It didn’t scare you like it would terrify a regular person. You watched as if you were watching a cartoon on tv. The screaming didnt stop. Their faces off terror didn’t go away. It all made you happy. Those girls were getting what they deserved. Their yelps and screams were like music to your ears. Their begging and pleading made you wanna laugh. They shoudve watched what they said about you, because it came back and bit them in the ass. Literally.

The screaming soon came to a stop, and all you could hear was the wind blowing. They were dead. Their blood was all over the floor and some on the boys. You watched as the boys threw the remains of the girls into the fire. You never thought you’d be watching your worst enemies get slaughtered in front of you, and it was worth the watch. They had it coming, and now they are gone. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t feel guilty at all. For the first time in years, you could go to school without worrying about these horrible girls picking on you. Now they were nothing. You were free from those girls. Their deaths brought a smile to your face. You never had to hear their nasty words again. Now, they’re just faces on missing posters.

Remember the Rain

praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be

oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol

//

The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.

An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.

franklin.

dog

plz

pick up

answer me

plz?

c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie

i wanna talk things out with you.

u ain’t let me finish explaining

text me when u read this. plz bro

He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.

fuck you

we got nothin to discuss

He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?

for fucks sake frank pick up

u ain’t doin this to me rn

jus let me explain myself

He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.

no

now stop blowing my phone up

i’m tryna sleep

Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.

“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.

“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”

A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.

“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”

After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.

lady

i fuckef up

thsi is yo faukt

What now? Why are you back?

frankljn hates me

He does? That’s not right.

damn straighy it fuckign isnt

No, I mean that’s not correct.

There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.

jus fuckin tell me whst to do

That’s out of my hands.

is not u fuckin wirch

*withc

*witch

Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.

They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.

dont fukcin speak in riddles rn

Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith

prewhatnow

n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much

All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.

th fuck does that mean?

It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.

For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?”

“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”

“Tanisha..”

“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”

Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.

“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”

He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.

“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”

“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“

“You really didn’t know?”

Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.

“Yeah man. I was a fuckin’ fool, jus’ like you always said.”

“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.

“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.

“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”

“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”

“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean?”

“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”

“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.

“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”

“How?”

“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”

“Huh?”

“I said wake up, fool!”

Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?

“Lamar! Get up!”

“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.

“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”

“Frank?”

“Who the fuck else?”

“Why are you-”

He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.

“Get up you punk bitch!”

“Franklin what the fuck-”

He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.

“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.

“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”

Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?

“I did what-”

Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.

“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”

Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.

“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.

“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”

“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”

“Yeah. Seriously, man.”

Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.

“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”

Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.

“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”

“Oh.”

“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”

“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”

“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”

“Frank.”

“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”

“Franklin.”

“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”

“Franklin.”

“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”

“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”

“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”

Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.

“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.

“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”

“How much I say?”

“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”

“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”

“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”

“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”

“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”

“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”

If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Franklin.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.

“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”

“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”

“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”

“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”

“Franklin man, c’mon-”

“No! Don’t start!”

Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.

“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”

“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”

“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“Frank-”

“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.

“I’m done man, fuck this.”

“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.

Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-

His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.

“Lamar what the fuck?!”

“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”

“Get off me dog!”

“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.

It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.

Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.

“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”

Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.

“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.

“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”

He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.

“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”

Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.

“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”

Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.

“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”

Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.

He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.

“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”

Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.

“Lamar!”

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.

“Lamar!”

There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.

“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.

When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.

“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.

“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”

“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”

“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”

He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.

“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”

Franklin looked away.

“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”

Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.

“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”

“Franklin..”

“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”

“Franklin.”

“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”

Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.

“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”

The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.

“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”

“Yeah. Homies for life.”

His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.

“I love you, bum ass bitch.”

“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”

He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”

The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.

//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

perennial;tom holland|six.

chapter six: yellow iris

↳ flower meaning: passion

chapter summary: hand holding and borrowed clothes.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: angsty, fluffy?... Smut??? (IS THERE SMUT? oh my god, I don’t know but if there was it would be under the * if you didn’t want to read it) 

word count: 8.8k 

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles   five: in which James has something to say

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Tags aren’t working so yeah. Anyway. I don’t know what this chapter is, enjoy. Leave comments, tell me what you think. Tell me if you catch details.. yeah. Send songs, ideas, yes. Be kind. 

Y/N had let the question sit in the air long enough to make it awkward. ‘Do you want to stay the night?’

The question held a lot of meaning. It was her asking him to choose her. As if in her mind staying with her meant he chose her over Cherry. Of course that probably made no sense by it’s own but in y/n’s mind it probably did. 

Her heart was beating fast, it was incomprehensible. Where had that question come from? Was it really the confirmations she needed from him? Because there was something in the back of her mind trying to scream that Tom really had moved on. That same voice was asking her to move on, too. One can never really let one's first love, but maybe it was her turn to do it. 

Because how many nights had y/n not waited in that sofa near the door, hoping he’d come knocking with her more yellow flowers. Stupid of her to think that. 

Because this time Tom wasn’t the one that should apologize. She’d never really truly said everything she wanted to tell him. 

 He didn’t answer. He had only squeezed the car wheel and stared at her. 

Her heart had made the question, that was for sure. Had she been sane she wouldn’t have asked anything at all. She wouldn’t have dared to speak to him. Feelings and reason trying to find separate roads but sadly colliding into each other. That’s how it worked.

But there it was the question that had proved to him that it had lingered, that there was an open spot for him. That he had never left her heart, that she regretted ever leaving his side, and that she was asking him to stay. 

Funny, she was the one asking him to stay when she had been the one to leave. But though y/n had left physically, Tom had been the first one to walk out. 

“Oh my god, I’m so stupid, no, what am I doing?” y/n shook her head. 

“I--” Tom coughed, nervously. “I—don’t think… Uh.” 

Y/N felt rejected, stupid. An idiot. She was an idiot. 

“Forget it, nothing.” Y/N opened the car door, Tom only tried to stop her by taking her hand. 

“No, no don’t get me wrong I’m—” 

“No.” Y/N gulped. “I’m an idiot.” 

“No, no, no, no,” Tom took her hand in his. “You’re not. I’m—I want to say yes.” 

His hands were sweating, and he was shaking. Y/N only looked down at his hands. 

“But..I don’t know if that would—I mean y/n sleeping together-” 

“You really think I’m going to go from holding your hand to having sex with you?” She sassed, and then rolled her eyes. 

Tom was the one who was embarrassed now. “I mean last time we flirted for five minutes we ended up with a relationship,” he snapped. 

She blushed, as she coughed. “That—that’s not how it happened.” 

“It kind of did,” he smirked. He paused as he looked down at her hand. He didn’t want to leave either, but he knew that staying would compromise them in a way they were not ready for yet. He knew them both. 

“Would that be too bad to wish for, though?” She wondered. 

He stared at her. “No, not at all.”

“No, but I don’t want you to stay for that,” she admitted, embarrassed. She didn’t, for that matter. 

He hadn’t let go of her hand, “What do you want me to stay for then?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “I guess I just don’t want you to leave.” 

That was it. There was no further invitation to stay up all night in between the sheets, but she wanted to have him around. In a sense that she wanted him to be close. 

Tom gulped. “I don’t want to leave, either.” 

Y/N could notice that, he wasn’t letting go of her hand. He really didn’t want to leave because he knew that if he did, their hand holding no matter how childish would be thrown out the window and the next morning he’d have to pretend they were strangers. 

“But you don’t want to stay,” y/n pointed out. And she didn’t want him to, honestly. She was in misery, and confusion. But she did. What the hell was going through her mind? His eyes gazing upon hers, his hands holding hers. 

“Do you really want me to stay?” He asked. 

She took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” 

“Then—“

“No, I do. I do know, and I do want you to stay,” she admitted. “If I spend more time with you it’ll give me time to figure out what the hell is going on with my heart.”

“Wouldn’t it complicate things?” He said. 

“Having sex would,” she pointed out. 

He chuckled. “So sex was still on the table?” 

“Not on the table, on my bed,” she joked. “No, I—I meant—“

He laughed as he blushed. “What did you mean?” 

“I’m not having sex with you,” she stated.

Tom grimaced. “I—“

“I meant,” she sighed. “If you stayed and if it happened—which it won’t, it would be complicated, but it wouldn’t if you don’t. And if you… didn’t stay it would complicate things because now it’s in the—“

“You’re making no sense,” Tom pointed out. 

“Having sex would complicate things,” she said. “But I’m not asking you to… I’m asking you to stay.” She sighed. “I’m—I just don’t want you to leave.” 

He let go off her hand. “Wouldn’t your roommates mind?” 

And maybe that’s when y/n’s question was answered. This wasn’t about him not wanting to stay, it was about Tom not wanting to deal with Tim. Did Tom know about it? Had Harry told him? 

Probably not. Tom would’ve lost it. 

“One is partying with your brother and the other one is in San Francisco,” she answered. 

“Hm.”

It almost never rains in Los Angeles. When it does, it’s scarce. Yet, the universe was playing on them, laughing right in their faces. Y/N thought she had imagined it, but Tom had looked out too.  It was raining in L.A.

“Is it fucking raining?” Tom said, half amused. 

She gulped. “Yeah,” she chuckled. It was ironic, funny. 

“We weren’t even being that dramatic but the rain said why the fuck not, huh?” He laughed. 

She chuckled. “You were being dramatic.” 

“But I always am,” he sighed. “And you…” He sighed. “You started it.”

“That was stupid,” she said. 

“Yeah.” 

 “I will see you tomorrow.” She finally walked out of the car and headed to her apartment, running under the rain. 

Tom, frustrated, ran a hand through his head. He gave himself a minute to think about it before running after her. He caught her mid the stairs, taking her hand again to stop her, under the rain he was unsure of the words he could say. 

 “Y/N,” that’s the only thing that could come out. 

“ I thought we had agreed it was stupid,” she snapped. Thankful the rain had covered the teardrops that had started to come out. Because she was angry. And sad, but her stupid heart wanted to kiss him. Her stupid heart was louder. 

“No. But y/n we both know that it will end up happening if I walk through that door,” he said. The raindrops falling down his face. 

She looked up at him. “You didn’t even hear what I wanted to offer.” 

He approached her. He didn’t understand why he was so flustered and confused. 

It was stupid, He only placed took her hands in his, she had softened at his touch. 

“Y/N, but-” 

She looked down at his hands again. “Maybe I’m just asking you to stay to hold hands all night.” 

“I think we need to talk,” he declared again. 

She nodded. “I know.”

“I really don’t want to fuck it up with you this time,” he admitted. “And look, maybe… you said it. We—We can’t really forget the past—but.”

“Forgetting the past is a terrible idea,” she interrupted. 

“But I also—just want to say fuck everything and kiss you,” he admitted a she cupped her face. 

He was hesitating. Y/N was, too. It was a very complicated feeling. To be angry at the love of her life but knowing that she’d probably run out of chances to love him if he didn’t stay.  Standing there, shaking, with his hands on her cheeks, cold rain falling both their cheeks.. Why did this have to be so dramatic? 

Though it really wasn’t, it was barely raining, just a few drops. 

She laughed. Because it was so stupid. And ironic. And there’s a fine line, very thin line... Between doing something that you might regret in the morning and not doing it and regretting it all your life. Whatever she did, though, she would end up regretting. Whether he stayed or not. 

Until you get to the top you’ll know if it was worth it. Until you live it you’ll know if it was actually love, or if you wasted your time. She didn’t have any more time to waste. She knew he probably… 

But what if he had feelings for Cherry? What if he was dating her cousin? And that’s why he couldn’t stay. Or… Her thoughts were trying to make sense. Maybe they were gripping to something they could’ve had.

“Well, why don’t you?” She asked him. 

“What?” 

“Why don’t you kiss me?” 

Because the rain was no coincidence. And he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t laugh. She kissed him. 

She finally kissed him under the rain. Under the stupid cold rain, that was usually scarce. And it was bitter, but calm, contrasting warm lips to the cold rain that was streaming down their cheekbones. He was a song, a movie, a book. The story y/n wanted to keep forever, because she was an idiot. 

He still owned every single thought she could ever have. The kiss wasn’t deep and dramatic, not movie scene like, not like y/n had probably imagined it. It was sweet, tender, and she didn’t let him pull away. If anyone saw them, they’d probably think they looked pathetic. Only one kiss and she was fooled again. Why did love have to be so cruel? Why did it have to hurt? 

But it didn’t, not at that moment. Small kisses, both of them reading their very next movement. She’d forgotten how it felt, those butterflies each time he ever was around. So very esplendid. 

You’d think she wouldn’t feel that way, how many times had they not kissed before. Yet it felt like a new one. But she felt lonely, each time her lips touched his. Not because he made her feel lonely, but because she hadn’t really truly realized how much she had missed his touch. She was helpless. Because suddenly she realized all the tears that she hadn’t wept had been dying to come out. How restless she had been, and terrified that she would never ever kiss him again. And she knew she was angry. Tired of being in the dark. Always waiting for him. Because her whole life had changed completely in  just a few months, of course she’d missed him. Because the days with him, although they were counted they’d been so bright. And the sun had barely come out when they were apart. 

And she knew that if he stayed she’d regret it, but if he didn’t, she’d be torn apart. She needed him that night to fall in love once again, all over. She didn’t care. 

She missed him too much to care about anything. But he wanted to leave, he didn’t want to stay, and maybe that’s why she didn’t stop kissing him. She really needed him. 

And he finally pulled away to catch his breath. She didn’t say anything, she only made her way to the apartment, leaving it to him. To stay or not to stay. 

He did follow after her, but he didn’t walk in. 

Why was this so... complicated? 

Because if he stayed, it’d be hard. And if he didn’t, they would lose it all. She only watched him, he was debating it. Probably with that same thought in his head. Because she knew it, they were broken. Different reasons this time, maybe Tom hadn’t completely healed from the heartbreak… Or maybe he had pretended to move on. Or… She didn’t know where he was standing. What the hell was going through his mind? 

“Fuck it,” he decalred walking in, draggin her close to him and kissing her again. This time the kiss was even deeper, now he was the one in control of it, one hand on the back of her neck and the other one on her waist. Her arms quickly wrapped around his neck and pushed the door close. 

It was a bad idea. 

But, honestly, when had they ever made any right decision when it came to each other? 

She pushed him against the door, her hands skimming down his chest. She needed him that night, she knew that. In any way, possible. Not in the sense that she needed pleasure, or to run out of breath, but she needed to feel once again his skin against hers, with that feeling of never wanting to let go off his lips, needing to prove to herself that Tom still loved her. No one would ever make her feel the way he made her feel. 

Though she knew she’d fall apart the moment she realized her mistake, but she pushed away that thought. Her hand went through his slightly wet hair, as he slightly moaned against her lips. His hands were around her waist trying to pull her even closer to his body.

She didn’t know if she should continue, because she knew that there possibly were too many other options of what they could be doing that she wouldn’t regret. She knew that she wanted to make a scene about Cherry, about her, about Tim, or apologize for what she’d done. But then she knew that if she didn’t continue kissing him, she’d probably regret it more. She needed him that night, because she knew she’d end up in a dark place anyway, at least she could feel sparks that night. 

Her hands found the hem of his shirt and quickly ripped it off, throwing it away, her lips trailed their way down his neck, leaving wet spots all over it. She could feel his chest going up and down, as she took his hands in hers and pushed them against the wall. 

“Y/N,” he breathed in as he tried to move. Y/N knew he was way stronger than her, yet he was letting her take the lead. Though she was taking control, her movements were soft. 

 She stopped pushing him against the wall, and dragged him to the couch, pushing him down. He was slightly impressed at first but he pulled her down with him, as she sat on his lap, lips glued to his. His fingertips ran down her sides, and then up under her green dress, his cold fingers blissed through her skin . The curtains, though closed, still let the moonlight peak in through the dark apartment. 

She pulled away from his lips, opening her eyes to see him. He looked right into her , her cheeks flushed, as she leaned to rest her forehead against his, her chest was shrinking. Y/N knew she wsa being pathetic, idiotic, and probably even neurotic, but she couldn’t help the smile that formed in her face as his lips tried to reach out for hers again. She closed her eyes again as she peppered his face with soft small kisses, feeling like an actual dream, not the nightmare they probably were going through. 

He sucked gently right under her chin, as y/n closed her eyes with pleasure, “Tom,” was the only word she wanted to say. 

His name over, and over circling in her mind. She shifted  and then pushed him to gently lay him down, he brushed his knuckles against her jawline before skimming his own lips through the same path. 

“Y/N,” he whispered against her ear as if he couldn’t quite believe it himself, sending vibrations through her whole body. His hands gripping her thighs and going up her ass, as he tried to push her to him. She caged his hips in between her knees, before he sat back up to pull her down to him. Her lips found his collarbone, as she sucked on lightly and her hands traced down his chest down to his abs, thumbs rubbing circles. 

His hands under her dress fiddled with her underwear and then caressed her legs, slowly and gently, as it built their way up to her core, she only fanned her breath against his neck. He only toyed with the hem of her silky panties. 

Instead, he pulled his hands back and looked for the zipper in her dress. 

Her own hands were toying with the muscles connecting his stomach with his legs. It travelled far enough to finally unbutton him, he helped her to strip himself down. 

“I think this isn’t fair, I’m almost naked,” he commented before y/n shut him up with a kiss. But his hands kept working on her zipper and he finally slid it down. 

“It’s completely fair,” she whispered. 

Y/N chuckled as she finally took off her own dress. 

He smirked “I thought we were going to hold hands,” he sassed before pressing firm kisses against the newly exposed skin, from both her breasts up to her neck. 

Her hips bucked against his body, slowly, feeling his hard length growing against her throbbing core as his fingers were struggling in the back to unbuckle her bra. She drifted her hands once again against his chest before landing her lips back on his neck, placing firm kisses against it. She could smell the faint scent of his cologne, her very favorite one. He whimpered, making y/n feel the vibrations, his hands traveling down her back.

“This really isn’t holding hands,” he pointed out again.

She pulled away and took both his hands, intertwining their fingers and she pushed him against the backrest. He smirked as he only lifted his head to meet her lips, molded into one, as if every time they kissed they turned into two halves longing for the very next one. 

“Y/N,” he said in between kisses. 

“Tom,” she answered. As his lips traveled down to the middle of her breasts, he stopped holding her hands as he once again tried to get the bra off.  

Before he could unhook it, he pulled away. “Wait,”he said. 

There it was, y/n thought, he’s gonna be reasonable.

 “I—don’t have a condom,” he admitted, a statement which somehow calmed y/n, knowing perfectly that around the time they dated, he’d always have condoms in his wallet. 

She didn’t, either. She knew Emma probably had, though, since Emma had slipped one into her purse the night with Tim. One, that of course, she’d used. 

We don’t want another pregnancy scare,” Tom joked. 

“We—?” She chuckled. “You didn’t have it.”

“I certainly did,” Tom frowned. “When I opened that box, and it was there—I thought—“

“Oh, right, I—“she laughed nervously. “I gave it to you.” 

He gulped. “Yeah, you gave me everything.” 

They stayed quiet, for a bit. His hands on her waist, her fingers running through his hair. . 

“Emma probably has some—“she said. “But—“

He took a deep breath. “Oh—then?” He coughed with a grin. “Why don’t you go and—?”

She didn’t move initially, she only gazed upon his lips and then back to his eyes, he kissed her before she finally walked away. But then she walked into Emma’s room. 

‘If you ever decide to finally have one random hookup I’ll put them here.’ The words echoed through her mind as she opened the small box on top of her nightstand. She saw the flowers that Harry had given her. Y/N felt wrong and she wasn’t sure why. 

She opened the small box anyway, now the excitement gone, completely. 

Y/n fidgeted with the condom and then just watched 

He sighed. Both of them knew the fire was probably put out, now.

She took a deep breath as she sat on the other side of the couch. He cleared his throat. 

They weren’t ready. Because it hurt too much, and though her body probably desired him now, her heart had decided to finally get back into its senses, and it was aching. Now the only thoughts circling her mind was that he’d touched her differently, he had barely wanted to. He had been slow, and not like they were before, always too desperate to touch each other. He hadn’t smiled as they had pulled away from the first kiss like he usually did, and he hadn’t tried to kiss his way down to her stomach. 

He hadn’t… he hadn’t. 

Or had he? And was it all in her mind? Her fear that instead of her name he’d end up saying Cherry’s. 

He didn’t say anything, he rubbed his face. 

She only reached for her dress and lazily covered herself with it, not bothering to put it on, before walking away to her room. 

He picked up his clothes and quickly followed after her. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he said, staying in the doorway. 

She blinked as she had put on her dress back on, not wanting to turn around and see him. “What for?” 

He sighed heavily. “I—I don’t know.” 

She wanted to ask about Cherry. 

She didn’t, though. 

“We’re not ready.” That’s what she went with as she sat on her bed.

He gulped as he walked a step into her room. “Yeah.” 

Her heart was killing her. “I—I’m… I never got to say how sorry I was,” she started. “I never wanted to hurt you,” she said. 

Tom gulped, watching her.

“I can’t believe I—I hurt you that much and I can’t even think how I managed to make you believe that you were anything but the love of my life,” the words had come out so simply. 

Tom stayed in the doorway, fidgeting with his shirt. She finally looked at him. He was nervous, she could tell. Or not nervous, but that unnamed horrible feeling when you feel anxious that you won’t be able to forgive. That’s the feeling he was showing. 

“I—I’m sorry I wrote it,” she continued, her voice cracked. Why did it hurt so much to say it if she actually wanted to say it? “But if it changes anything, it was never a hoax,” she confessed. “I guess it was an excuse to me, to let myself feel something for you. And I—should’ve said something sooner or… I was just so afraid of losing you, and I ended up losing you anyway. I walked in with the idea that you’d hurt me first that I built up so many weapons and—We shouldn’t have. It was not war, we were in love, no one—Love is not war, but love isn’t supposed to hurt and yet…” she gulped. “I don’t know if we can get out of this one.” 

He sat beside her. “History says we can,” he observed.

“History also tends to repeat itself,” she pointed out.

 He nodded. “Yeah, if you don’t know it.” 

“I’m sorry,” she pleaded again. “I really—never got to say it,” she continued. “I’m—“

“And I’m sorry, too,” he echoed, before placing a kiss on her temple. 

She scoffed. “We’re a mess.”

He pressed his lips against her cheek, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, she leaned against him. 

“How have you really been?” He asked. 

She shrugged. “It was weird, at first. I’ve been missing everyone,” she admitted. “I missed Harry and Sam, James,” she nodded. “I’ve been missing you like hell which I couldn’t really explain.” 

“Why?”

“We were used to being apart,” she pointed out. “I never really cared before if you went places, and if you did I would be angry, and now… I searched for your face in every corner, in every person.” 

He smiled slightly. “I… tried to find you, too. I missed you too fucking much.” 

Y/N didn’t really want to think more of that thought, but of course she knew he’d searched for her. She was upset again, yet that didn’t impede her lips from finding their way back to his neck, sloppy kissing against his exposed hot skin. He shivered, as he pulled her back to him. 

Just like they were continuing what they’d left before. He laid down pulling her with him, his hands trailing up her legs as she continued to suck gently on his neck, kissing down his chest now. 

“Fuck, y/n,” he muttered as he felt her lips kissing down his abdomen. His chest rising up, his hand was so close to her heat but he snapped it away, to grip her legs and turn them around, him on top of her now as she wrapped her legs around his hips. He kissed her as he tried to push his own body against her. Tongue slipping into her throat as her hands found his hair. 

She rocked herself against him, as he groaned against her lips. 

But she pulled away again. “No, wait, Tom,” she stopped him. “No, no… We can’t do this,” she stopped him. 

“Fuck y/n, you can’t leave me like this,” he complained, burying his face on her neck, y/n wasn’t sure if she felt small pecks on it.  

She bit her lip. “If we do this, it’ll be our doom.” 

“I.. Fuck I know, but you can’t kiss me like that and then--” He couldn’t even finish. He was turning red and flustered as he tried to hide his hard-on with y/n’s pillow  just as he sat up. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, as she reached for his hand.  

He chuckled, “No, no, I get it,” he was embarrassed as he flicked her hand away. “I-” he cleared his throat. “I need to cool down.” 

She blushed. “Yeah, me too.” 

He covered his face. “This is really embarrassing.” 

She gulped. “Do you…” She couldn’t even say it. “Do you want to take a shower?” 

He laughed nervously. “What?” 

“I don’t know,” she grinned. “Take a cold shower, maybe?” 

“Are you serious?” His face couldn’t even possibly get redder, yet he was there. He picked up another pillow and covered his face. 

“I… thought that helped,” she giggled. 

“Are you fucking serious?” 

“Yes, I’m serious,” she snickered. 

“I-- yeah,” His voice was muffled under the pillow. “I might take your offer.” 

She hated herself because she really had wanted to continue it, and this was the second time. But it was like both of them knew that this mess would be even more of a mess if they went through with it. So they had to keep separate ways, hot and bothered. She knew it, she really wanted to go through with it, but she had to stop herself. 

But she handed him a towel and showed him the way. He was still flushed, and they both avoided their glance when she walked out. 

Y/N was trying to find a way to cool herself down, too. But her skin was still burning, trying to find its way back to him. 

The bathroom was the door in front of her room, she had always hated that, but today she didn’t. She heard the water streaming down. Her chest was still going up and down as she stared at the wooden door, at her pillow, at his shirt on the floor. 

Her mind was replaying the way he had said her name, over and over again. She wanted to hear him all night. If he said her name like that again she knew she’d give everything he asked for. 

*

He hadn’t closed the door, not correctly, at least, a door that barely ever locked, it had its way, and so the door cracked open revealing him, under the steam and hot water. Not cold as she had aviced him, too. She was nervous, never done something like that before, she felt weird peaking in, but her titled head had tried to get a sneak. It was past midnight now, probably, and she didn’t want to waste any more time, and she knew she was risking being rejected, again, but a thought came to her head.  The light from her bathroom barely showed anything, a fact that she’d always hated. The flickering lightbulb was never good enough for her to get ready in the morning, and that small stupid mirror, she hated it, now tarnished from the hot water. But the flickering light bulb that brightened Tom’s shadow, as the water was falling down seemed to add the perfect touch of sensuality she’d looked up for the whole night. 

She thought she was a fool, and that it probably was incorrect.And it really was to be peaking,, then she heard him: 

“Y/N,” he had moaned her name after two exhales. 

She furrowed her eyebrows, not sure if she’d heard what she’d heard. Was he calling her? She gulped the thought, trying to ignore it. But she could hear her name again. 

“Fuck, y/n,” he groaned. The way her name slipped from his mouth made y/n swoon. 

Now she was sure she’d heard her name, and if her mind was not betraying her she knew exactly what the hell was going on. She knew it, the heavy breaths disclosed him. 

His head thrown back with pleasure. 

Y/N blushed as she cleared her throat. But he moaned slightly louder, making her stomach jolt. He whispered her name and her name only, over and over. 

And that gave y/n a slight feeling of power. That probably was the last string hitting, and so, decisively, she walked into the bathroom, too. Now, making sure it was locked. Tom didn’t hear her, but she saw the shadow of his arm moving. 

She took a deep breath to get more confidence before finally stripping down all of her clothes. Tom was too busy to notice as she stepped into the steamy shower, her toes burning with the water as she stepped right behind him. 

She was nervous but that didn’t stop her. She slowly wrapped her arounds behind him, feeling the well defined muscles on his abdomen, he froze and shrivelled at her slight touch. 

“Fuck--” He cursed. “Y/N, I’m sorry. You weren’t—“

“Sh,” she kissed his back. “Thought you could use some help.” 

Her hands firmly pressed their way down, the hot water in her skin only turning her on even more. He was shaking. 

He was breathing even more heavily than before. “Fuck, y/n.” 

It was her name, not anyone else’s, it was her name. He threw his head back as she continued kissing his back. Hands traveling up and down, teasing him as she pressed her whole body against him. 

“I thought—“he couldn’t even make out his thought. 

“I changed my mind,” she whispered, her hand now traveling down his length, the other digging her nails into his chest. 

He panted heavy breathes. 

“I haven’t even touched you, darling,” she teased. 

He whimpered, his legs kept shaking as her delicate fingers wrapped around his cock. 

“Y/N—“he moaned brokenly, as his hands tried to reach behind him to touch her.

She was breathing against his back, as she let his length go. 

“Fuck it y/n,” he was exasperated. 

She chuckled, and then finally wrapped her hand around his shaft, beginning to pump him up and down. 

“Fuck,” was all he could say.

 “Say my name,” she ordered. 

“Y/N,” he complied, as she kept pumping him. 

His own hands tried to reach out to her but his hands found his own hair instead, his knuckles getting white from the pleasure, as he said her name over and over. 

She gained confidence and quickened her pace, stroking him flawlessly as his groans became louder. He growled. 

“Fuck, no, Y/N, I’m close—Stop“he said, and stopped her hand, she slowly withdrew it.  “I need to be in you, fuck this,” he barked before turning around and smashing his lips against hers and pushing her against the wall. He quickly grabbed her leg and pulled it up, as he kissed his way down the valley of her breasts, his hands were dying to touch her as they explored every spot that he could reach, kissing her fervently. 

The water was still running down both their skin now mixed with sweat, as his slick fingers travelled down to her core, as if to return the favor, y/n had to bite her lip as a wave of arousal hit her. His thumb pressing hard against her clit as he slid one finger in, making her whimper and moan his name out loud. 

“Tom,” she breathed out, as his thumb rubbed circles sending a heat of pleasure, her fingers digging down to his back, crescent moons forming in his skin.

 “Fuck, get inside me, Tom.” 

He didn’t, he only brushed his length against her pulsing core. 

“Hold my hands,” he ordered as he ripped her hands from his back and pushed them both against the wall, she locked her fingers with his, as she stared right into her eyes.

He finally pushed right into her, getting a coarse and raspy moan from her. He adjusted himself as she clenched against him. She pressed against his hips, he bit her bottom lip before pushing himself against her, roughly, the water letting him slide just smoothly. 

But then he quickened to move with such speed that y/n thought she was losing her sight, clapping noises as he pulled in and out. She rolled her eyes and let out a soft moan with ecstasy. Both of them overwhelmed, as they keep crashing against each other. Y/N rocking her hips as she could while Tom thrusted into her, harder and deeper each time. 

He kept moaning her name in between short breaths, and their hands kept held. Her legs were quivering but she managed to kept her other leg wrapped around his back, each and every movement getting sloppier as he thrusted into her. 

The water was still burning against their skin, but it was getting colder,  they didn’t notice since their skin was now covered with sweat that only helped you both move more. 

He stopped moving, staying inside of her, deeply inside as he pushed his head back with pleasure. “Fuck, y/n, you’re so tight,” he said, as he was catching his breath, but then he continued to ram into her. Over and over, his movements brushing against her clit, already aroused as she was sure she was seeing stars. 

He continued, as she was squeezing his hands so tight. Her back sliding up and down to the wall. His lips found trying to find her breasts, and her neck and collarbones, sucking and biting and licking. He managed to kiss some spots every now and then in between whimpers and short breaths, and slow whispers of her name. 

“Tommy,” she whimpered, as she felt her orgasm  beginning to wash her up. Ecstasy and pleasure filling her arousal, as the friction from each and every momevent rubbed against her pulsing core.  Tom groaned when he heard her scream his name, his own  movements were getting sloppier, he groaned as he reached his own climax, he tried to pull out but she didn’t let him. She growled as her knuckles were turning white from holding his hands as he filled her up. Trying to get some composure as he breathed against her, resting his forehead against her, both of them panting trying to catch their breath. 

“You cooled down now?” She asked between respires. 

He chuckled as he let her hands go to lift her chin so he could kiss her, sweetly this time. 

*

They were laying down on y/n’s bed, drops still falling down their bodies, y/n laying down on top of him. Her head under his neck as his finger traced down her exposed spine. Her own fingers walking up his chest. 

“So that was a new way of holding hands,” he pointed out, she chuckled against his neck before pecking it. 

She reached out for his hand again, as she played with his fingers. 

“Do you think we fucked up?” Y/N asked

“No,” he answered as he pulled her closer, placing a kiss on top of her head. 

“Emma‘s gonna kill me,” she said. 

“Harry, Sam, Haz and Tuwaine will kill me,” he laughed. “But I won’t tell them.” 

She gulped. “We’re keeping it a secret again?”

He cleared his throat and licked his lips. “No—no, no, we are not making the same mistakes—But,” he cleared his throat. “I’m not one to kiss and tell, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, right—plus, this doesn’t have to mean anything,” she said. 

He frowned. “Uh—“

“No, wait not—“she coughed. “Not what I meant—I—meant that we don’t have to—rush anything.” 

He gulped, “it’s complicated.” 

“But it would’ve been, anyway,” she commented. 

He nodded. “See? That’s why I suggested going over the timeline.” 

Y/N smiled. “So we don’t go over the same mistakes?” 

“Yeah,” he grinned. “So I don’t end up breaking your heart again for what, the hundredth time?” 

“Try thousandth,” she joked. But she wasn’t really joking, she only thought about the last time, just a few moments before. 

He gulped, hands still fidgeting. “You actually—you broke my heart several times too,” he whispered. 

“Really?” She looked up to him. 

“Yes,”he chuckled. “Like that time you said I was the ugliest guy at school.” 

She sat up just slightly just to shift to rest her chin on his chest so they’d be facing each other. “When did I say that?”

“With your friends, with Fabiola,��� he said, pushing her head back from her face. “you were playing snog marry kill and you said you’d kill me because I was the ugliest guy at school.” 

She snickered. “I had to keep our enemies reputation.” 

“And I wasn’t even an option,” he added. 

She laughed, embarrassed. “I’m sorry! I don’t remember saying that but you know I didn’t mean it,” she explained. “I had a crush on you,” she said before kissing him. 

The lights were dimmed, the sheets covering them both. Though y/n was still trying to figure out her thoughts. Was she angry now? 

She couldn’t be, not after their shower. Maybe she was just blinded, but that’s the thing about a love affair with the love of your life, you can’t help it. He took her breath away in every possible way. She’d forgotten about many things. Not all of them, and of course they still had too many things to talk about, and they probably couldn’t wait. But there were no poisonous thoughts in her mind. Yes, it still hurt and she was angry but her heart loved him too much to care… at least for now. Besides, she didn’t know if they were actually going anywhere with this. 

Honestly, she probably wasn’t even thinking with her heart or mind at that moment. His touch had blinded her, feeling brand new, each time he brushed his fingers against her, she felt a bristled spark forming up. 

“It hurt my feelings I didn’t know,” he grinned.

“I’m sorry,” she ran a hand through his hair. “I actually thought you were the cutest one…”

He grinned. “really?”

“Well second cutest one, Nicholas Johnson might have been the cutest one,” she teased. 

He rolled his eyes and faked a laugh. “I knew you had a crush on him.”

“I did,” she admitted. 

“Which brings me to another heartbreak,” he commented. 

She frowned. “What?” 

“When you kissed him,” he pointed out. 

“Which time?” 

He frowned. “Wait, there was more than one?” He faked to be hurt, she laughed.

“Yes,” she scoffed. “And please, I had to see each and every one of your girlfriends, and you barely saw mine.” 

He gulped. “Yeah, okay but, I mean… The first time, yes I remember it was at some random tween party we had, in the treehouse… we were playing spin the bottle,” he recalled. 

“Oh, I remember that,” she nodded. 

“And you were dared to kiss your crush,” He commented. “And from what I had gathered before I thought I was your crush.” 

“Wait I remember that!” She said. 

“You do?” 

“Yes I got angry! Because—wait!” She giggled. “You thought I would’ve kissed you when like two questions before that you said that I was the ugliest in the room.” 

“It was payback,” he said. 

“No it wasn’t, how would it be payback if I hadn’t even kissed Nick,” she pointed out. 

“I… I was trying to...Don’t change the subject, you kissed Nick and I was so angry,” he cleared his throat. 

She sat up, laughing, covering herself with her sheets. Tom chuckled to himself, amused by the fact she was covering just right after they had recklessly fucked in the shower. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” She shook her head amused. “That I would run to you and kiss you after you called me ugly?” 

“I was flirting with you y/n,” He smirked. 

She rolled her eyes. “You were—” 

He pulled her right back to him, missing her touch already. “Look I was dumb but then when they asked if you’d ever been kissed before that you said no!” He called her out. “And as long as I’m concerned you had kissed someone.” 

“We had agreed on not telling anyone,” she claimed. 

He shrugged. “Yes, but you hurt my pride.” 

She nudged him playfully, tired of him. “You’re an idiot.” 

He was going to say something, but he cupped her face to bring her down to kiss her again, his hands travelled down her back again. 

“Tom!” She chirped as he turned her around. 

“And then when you started dating Louis god, I hated him so much,” he rolled his eyes. 

“But you hate every guy I dated,” she pointed out. 

He laughed. “Only because you chose horrible people.” 

She snickered. “Hm.” 

“I hate Tim the most though,” he pointed out. 

Her stomach jolted and she avoided his glance. Tim. Fuck, Tim. Just a few days before she had been in between those very same sheets with him. So different from what had gone around this time. 

“You hated me the most,” she said. “And how did that turn out?” 

“Huh?” 

“I was your biggest enemy, now Tim’s your biggest enemy, why don’t you try it out with him? Maybe you guys end up being the perfect couple,” she sassed with a smirk. 

He scowled, getting off of her, turning around avoiding to face her. “No.” 

“Just saying,” she laughed, as she wrapped her arm around him, kissing his shoulder. 

“Idiot,” he rolled his eyes. 

He coughed. “Anyway, Louis.” 

“He was an idiot,” y/n agreed. 

“Yes, what’s up with you dating idiots?” He turned back to face her. 

“Dunno, really loved the last one though,” she smiled before leaning over to kiss him. 

He hummed against her lips but then pulled away. “But no, look, I hate Tim but the worst guy you ever dated was Louis.” 

“He was not that—bad at the beginning,” she chuckled. “He was in a band and he was hot.” 

“I hated him.” 

She shrugged. “I actually started dating him to make you jealous because that’s when Sandra appeared.” 

He thought about it. “And you told Sandra I used snail slime to comb my hair.” 

She threw her head back laughing. “Yes I did.” 

“Why?” 

“To make you angry, we were sworn enemies back then remember?” She poked his chest. 

“But Louis. Don’t change the subject.” 

“What about him?” 

“He was…” She thought about it. She’d never told anyone what had gone wrong with him. The real reason why they’d broken up and he had shown his true cards and how awful he was of a human being. “He was a bad guy and I was into that, plus I think he was somehow related to someone in the Harry Potter cast and that’s all I needed.” 

“A bad guy,” he frowned.

“Yes, a bad guy,” she bit her lip. “I was into that,” she coughed. “I mean he basically dressed as John Bender from the Breakfast Club and-” 

“Of fucking course,” Tom laughed. “Of course, now it all makes sense.” 

“He was actually the one to introduce me to that world,” she laughed. “Okay, he was hot and I liked the way he dressed and he was manly.” 

Tom scrunched his nose. 

“And it made you jealous so my plan worked,” she pointed up. 

“You never told me why you broke up,” he said. “I mean, I’m glad he did because I could take you to prom but why--” 

She gulped. “He was an idiot.” 

She tried to change the subject, and they went through different aspects of their relationship. Always the same damn story, Tom hurting y/n, Y/N hurting Tom. Both of them being idiots, very big idiots. 

People come into our lives to teach us something, yet they didn’t quite know what they were supposed to learn from each other. Maybe there wasn’t much of a lesson to be learned, but they both knew that somehow it led them both there. It had to, otherwise why else would they be under the sheets as the moon sneaked into her room, with dried flowers hanging in her wall. Why else would they be tangled up with each other if they weren’t meant to be? 

Y/N, no matter how angry she was, knew she had the deepest connection with him. No matter how stupid, she knew it. And though she knew they’d end up tearing each other apart one of those days because y/n wouldn’t resist calling him out for Cherry, that night she didn’t want to go through another fight. Not that night. 

“You didn’t go to the Spiderman premier,” Tom said. 

She bit her lip, avoiding his glance. She’d never told him why. 

“I know I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“That broke my heart so much,” he gulped. 

“But you were dating—” 

“Yes, but it still meant so much to me you know?” He sighed. “And though I hated you or pretended to I wanted to share it with you-” 

“You don’t know how much I regretted not going,” she admitted. 

Tom brushed her hair with his fingers. “Why didn’t you—?” 

“Because I thought that if before I didn’t have any chance with you, I’d have less of a chance then, and because I... I don’t know.” 

“What?” 

“It was weird, it was around a time when I still couldn’t get over that kiss after prom, I was thinking about it, day and night and then you started dating her  and—I just..” 

He stayed quiet. 

“Dunno, I knew the whole world would finally see you and I… don’t know, I was planning to let you go and I was angry and I just couldn’t see you, and I just thought I would drag the happiness away from you? In a way,” she confessed. “Because I had been too blinded, I knew I was in love with you again, and I knew that I would… I would simply ruin the magic for you, and I was confused and  I saw you and you were happy and I thought I’d end up ruining it for you, because I knew that we’d never be happy, not when we were around each other, and I had accepted it back then, for the first time, that I wouldn’t...be with you. I had accepted that it was a fantasy, and that we wouldn’t-” She coughed. “And I remember,” she chuckled dryly. “You know me, I was dramatic and I’d go out for long walks, staring into  the rain, and… I was getting over you,” she nodded. “Or I thought I had gotten over you,” she sighed. “Because then…” 

“Rome,” he let out a long sigh. 

“Yeah.” 

“We’ve never really talked about this huh,” he bit his lip. 

She shook her head. “No.” 

“Not even when we were dating huh—” He was out of breath. “No, we were too busy making out, huh.” 

She grinned sadly.. “That was on you.” 

“I’m not saying it wasn’t and I was not complaining,” he smirked, caressing her cheek. 

Y/N hated herself because she had no willpower when it came to him. If she’d told this to the y/n from a few hours before she would’ve probably killed y/n. Because god, she shouldn’t be there with him. Had she forgotten all her days mourning over him? Had she thrown them all away? She was an idiot. 

There was that thought in her mind, it would’ve been better if they’d never ever tried anything together. No first kiss, no first dance, no first flowers. But then if they’d never ever tried anything, she wouldn’t have known that he was the missing part of her. And she knew that fear and hate were strong, so, so, so strong but her beating heart was stronger and louder. 

“How have we been so stupid?” He asked. 

“Hm?” 

“Like no offence but we literally are the most stupid couple ever,” he stated. 

She snickered. “We are.” 

“Like how many times did we not try to screw each other’s life because we were in love?” He wondered. 

“We were young and stupid,” she nodded. 

“But listening to it, the same story, it’s the same thing, over and over, and over,” he shook his head. “I don’t want it to be the same ending.” 

He kissed her, deeply. Threading his light touch around her body, taking it easy this time. Gentle touch, and now slowly, he took his time now to look at her, as if it was the first time he’d seen her. He leaned over and over again to kiss her, lips, heart, and soul. Maybe that’s why y/n was always drawn to him, because he knew how to touch her soul. Anybody could touch her body, but barely anyone knew how to touch her heart, and nobody knew how to touch her soul. So kindly, and softly. Shimmering eyes that made her whole body butterfly. 

And all they wanted to ask each other that night was not to let each other down. Funny thing, neither of them had said what they felt, out of fear, or maybe confusion. But they both knew it, they both felt it. 

They drifted off together, holding each other. Y/N slept for the first time in months, so calmly, listening to the soft heartbeat in her chest. 

Y/N was the first one to wake in the morning after she had heard some noise, she placed a soft kiss on his shoulder before putting on some underwear and his t-shirt. She’d always liked wearing her clothes. 

When she walked out, she saw Emma near the door.  

“Emma!” She gulped. She’d completely forgotten she had a roommate, now y/n was slightly embarrassed, not knowing what her friend had been able to hear from the night before, knowing damn well she hadn’t been quiet. 

“Shh,” she closed her eyes. “Shh--- shh, I have a terrible headache,” she said before leaving her purse on the couch. 

That’s when y/n realized it. “Wait--Did you just arrive?” 

“Yes,” Emma scrunched her face. “Shit,” she opened her eyes and glanced at y/n. “Oh god, what are you wearing?” 

Y/N took a step back and cleared her throat. “I… uh.” 

“Did you sleep with him?” Emma asked. 

“Sorta,” she lied. 

Emma brought her hands to her surprised face. “Oh my God.” 

“But wait, where were you?” Y/N tried to change the subject. 

“Is he still here?” Emma asked as she walked near y/n’s room to get a peak, and there she saw the man laying down on y/n’s room. 

Y/N rushed to close the door. “I know, I know…” Y/N bit her lip. “But… But wait, where were you? Were you partying? Or--” Y/N took a second glance at Emma’s outfit and realized the jacket she was wearing was definitely not hers. 

It was Emma’s turn to blush. “It’s… It’s a funny story.” 

“Emma?” Y/N’s eyes couldn’t believe it. 

“Look, we were both stupid last night, okay?” Emma walked away, making her way to her room.

“Is that--That’s not your jacket,” Y/N pointed out. 

“I know, I slept with Josh,” Emma admitted. 

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