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ultramarine-spirit · 2 years

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in the novel why claude so refuses to let Athy leave the palace alone? I remember that Claude did not allow athy to leave the Palace and every time she asked him to go to a tea party he always refused very strongly, even after athy returned to it he still had a hard time allowing athy to leave the palace alone.

I don't think there's another reason other than Claude being very, very overprotective of Athy.

To be fair, Athy had... more than a couple of near-death experiences (some of them because of Claude's own fault lol), so I can understand him to a certain extent. Plus she's a princess, the only princess and heir to the throne, so her going outside of the palace is a pretty risky thing, overprotectiveness aside. And Athy made it a point that she didn't want to go with guards, so despite her being a magic user and being more than capable of taking care of herself (as proven by her surviving for... months? outside of the palace during the amnesia arc), it still would be dangerous.

But a thing that I really liked about Claude and Athy's relationship development in the novel was that, when Athy returns and Claude still didn't have his memories back, she is like "okay, this kind of dynamic can't go on, I'm going to be more independent and you are going to have to trust me and be okay with it". And so she has her own birthday party (Claude being uninvited lmao) and goes outside of the palace. Of course, Claude is uneasy about it, but he lets her do it anyways, since he'll give Athy whatever she wants. Athy says that she wants to change their broken relationship and build trust between them, have an actually healthy father-daughter bond (this is a very mature thing of her to do just after going through incredibly traumatic events).

It's not the same as the manhwa scenes when Claude apologizes to Athy and cries, or when he opens up to her before the coronation, but I think that narratively they serve the same purpose of moving forward their relationship, and them finally being honest with each other. For me, they are the natural conclusion to Claude and Athy's arc in both versions, because WMMAP's main point is that family relationships take effort and time, they require mutual understanding and honesty. Real love is not just a thing automatically granted by blood ties or magic, that is a naïve notion that the narrative goes very against of and actively calls out.

In the novel scene, Athy then says that she'll always tell Claude beforehand when she plans of going outside, and that she'll always come back. As long as Claude waits for her, she won't disappear forever, because that is her home. "Where you are is where I should return to", because he would always be her dad, and she would always be his daughter.

From my point of view, Claude's overprotectiveness of Athy comes from his lonely life and fear of abandonment. Diana promised to be with him forever, and yet she died and left him alone. Athy almost died more than once too. He fixiates on her good bye to him at the debutante because of that, and he is afraid of Athy growing up and building her own family in the manhwa for that very same reason. Claude is terrified of Athy leaving him behind, in one way or another. It's understandable, considering his backstory and characterization, and that's also why I find it so beautiful that Athy takes it into her hands to reassure him that such thing won't happen. In both novel and manhwa, she takes the initiative of building real trust between them, while also demanding that Claude apologizes for hurting her and that he changes his unhealthy behavior, and reaffirming her own independence (not asking for it!).

I know this is probably not where you wanted the conversation to go, but I couldn't help myself. Their development is one of my favorite things about WMMAP.

#i honestly LOVE how Athy takes the initiative to fix their relationship #(and their whole family's unhealthy dynamic in the manhwa lmao)#i know i'm always going on about lucathy but i really appreciate how sincere and fleshed out Claude and Athy's relationship is #i wouldn't say i'm a Claude stan but while i know it's a meme to say he's a trash dad i have to give credit where it's due #he may be an asshole and i would do anything to kill his LP self and there may be dozens of better manhwa dads #but i love Claude's arc and growth from a character stand point #so well done #i love even more that it's Athy the one that takes the first step #it's Athy the one that tries to heal their broken bond #she isn't 'fixing' Claude. she is acknowledging they both need to change if they want to have a sincere relationship #and it's just SO good #they may not be the most sugary sweet father-daughter duo but they'll always be my favorite #i just can't find this kind of depth and development in other family-focused manhwas #also WOAH look at this rant. i'm very sorry anon i'm sure this isn't the answer you were asking for lmao #tagging this cuz i liked this meta thingy i wrote #who made me a princess #i suddenly became a princess #suddenly became a princess one day #wmmap #sbapod #sbap #athanasia de alger obelia #athanasia #athy #claude de alger obelia #claude wmmap #wmmap claude #wmmap meta

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csuitebitches · 5 months

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Things I Have to do for My Sanity

1. Wake up at the first alarm - no snoozing and no going lying around in bed. Getting up straight away and head to the bathroom. It’s going to suck initially but you’ll get used to it in a few days.

2. Mental self care: 30 minute meditation, brain games mental math, reading, news. Knowledge is sexy and don’t deny yourself sexiness.

3. Daily review in my diary at the beginning and end of my day: what went well, what didn’t, what I need to accomplish to achieve my goals. This has tremendously helped my goals and keeping my motivation more consistent, especially at work. Analysing and correcting incremental changes creates long term success.

4. Cleaning up before bed - clothes, shoes, organising my bag, etc. I set a timer for 5 minutes and try to get as much done as possible.

5. Pick out my clothes the night before and steam iron them for the next day.

6. Face masks twice a week, a hair mask once a week, I scrub the soles of my feet with that foot scrubbing thingy once a week. Manicures every month because my nail beds are too sensitive to do it biweekly, iron supplements so that I’m not a moody bitch. Matching underwear to feel good about myself. Lavender spray on my pillow before sleeping so that I don’t get weird dreams.

7. Reading biographies and autobiographies. My mentor had suggested this to me and it’s amazing how literally I don’t have a single original experience - everything I’ve felt or mistakes I’ve made have already been done by someone else.

I’m going to curate a list of business books that I feel that have helped me the most recently.

8. I write a short essay everyday in the language I’m currently learning. I also end my day by talking about my day for at least 2 minutes in that language and I record it in voice memos to keep a track of my progress. I want to be fluent to a level where I can think in this language.

✨

I don’t generally share a lot about my personal life - none of you know my name or where I’m based and I feel comfortable doing that. But I do want to start giving out more insights to what I’m doing personally in my career - the good, the bad, the ugly.

Being self aware and honest to myself has helped me improve a lot. I know that shame is my Achilles heel, so now I’m reading books to combat that. I’ve caved in and decided to try therapy for a bit to see if what I’m doing is useful or not. My first session is tomorrow. Staying disciplined was my initial hurdle but the systems I’ve set (waking up early + habit stacking) have helped me slowly overcome that.

Work side, I’ve started establishing myself publicly more. I don’t want to reveal too much about what I do exactly but the good news is that our biggest competitor has noticed my progress (a former employee of that company came to us for an interview and directly asked our top management about me). It’s been 4 months that I’ve been working here but I know that next year I really have to swing the bat and hit a home run. I’ve decided to work on the field more and less in the office to really understand people’s needs and create unique solutions.

The daily/weekly/quarterly diary is definitely credited to my recent wins. That’s the biggest change I’ve made in my routine and i can already see that it’s working well. I’m going to continue refining and implementing that method.

Recent work methods I’ve decided to start working on (I’m not required to do these but I do it for my growth):

1. I’ve started studying popular companies’ business and revenue models in detail. Everything is adoptable and adaptable, you just have to figure out how to tweak something for your company’s clients and needs. Now I’ve decided that I want to keep a track of our competitors, their business models, their owners names, pricing strategy, their target audience etc etc on an excel sheet so that I’m aware with what’s happening in the market.

2. I’ve started making client profiles. Every time I meet a client, I note down their name, the company name, what they were like, anything specific they seemed to like or want, how much they had paid us for a service, what their paying capacity could be, etc.

#c suite #powerful woman #strong women #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #getting your life together #balance #to do #to do list

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honeybleed · 24 days

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— ★ CAPTAINS AS WORK HUSBANDS

content & warnings: fem!reader, post time skip, changed daichi to a firefighter because fuck the police (idea courtesy of deja 😁), kind of suggestive in oikawa & kuroo’s ones, fluff & crack

featuring: various captains (that i’m more familiar with): daichi sawamura, tetsurō kuroo, wakatoshi ushijima & toru oikawa

author’s note: my first written thingie for haikyuu, i’m so nervous i made them ooc ;-; ik i’m late but i really went from supporting my kuroo harem mooties from the sidelines to joining. divider credit to @/xxbimbobunnyxx

daichi sawamura:

Working with Daichi Sawamura was comparable to smooth sailing.

Usually, your colleagues, seniors and juniors could come to the agreement you were exhausting to work with considering your tendencies to play by the book.

No exceptions.

Regardless, the past few weeks of organizing assemblies for schools around the prefecture regarding fire safety with Daichi had been…pleasant?

It was going to be the last assembly and this time it was for the fifth and sixth graders, you and Daichi were sitting in your office tidying up the paperwork.

“It’s late…how are you getting home?” He questioned.

“Oh…the trains are still running. I’m saving up for a car.” You said with an uneasy laugh, a little embarrassed.

“Nonsense, I can drop you home.” Daichi smiled.

“No, no Daichi. I don’t want you to go through all that trouble, thank you for the offer.” You said sheepishly, overwhelmed by the kind offer.

“I wouldn’t feel right about a woman going home this late at night. It’s no trouble for me, at all.”

A sliver of mischief overtook you.

“What? You think cos I’m a woman I’m too fragile to go home by myself?”

Daichi gave you a vacant look before panic set into his system.

“What?! No, no! I don’t think that women are very- No, YOU are more than capable-"

“Daichi, I was kidding.” You giggled. “Honestly, I think it’s sweet you have that chivalrous nature to you. Too many men on the trains give me the creeps anyway.”

He drove a modest car. It suited him. Reliable and not too flashy.

There was an air of melancholy as this would be the last time you’d work together.

As he killed the engine when you directed him to the parking lot of your apartment complex, he gave you a warm smile.

“I really enjoyed working with you.” He said.

“I could say the same..” You replied.

“Forgive me for getting ahead of myself…but I don’t want this to be the end.”

“Huh..?”

“I want to keep seeing you. Would…you like that?” He asked, voice cautious not to overstep.

But you nodded.

“I’d love to keep seeing you. I enjoy your company, Daichi.”

Two people in their late twenties, blushing wildly as their fingers brushed over the gearstick.

tetsurō kuroo:

“I can see you, you know.” You said in a wry tone, your fingers flying over the keyboard and your eyes fixated on the screen of the PC.

“And here I thought I was a stealth master.” Kuroo said in mock defeat as he stopped peeking from the doorway and headed towards your desk. “Alright, tell me. What gave it away?”

“It’s kinda hard to miss that rooster haircut of yours.” You responded. “Not to mention the fact you have to bend over not to bump into the doorframe.”

“Figures. I got some gossip for you.”

“Yeah?” You said as you raised a brow. “Don’t keep me on edge.”

“Seems like Takuya the tech guy has the hots for you.”

“…Me?”

“Don’t act all humble on us now. You know you’re the resident hottie.” He chuckled.

“Big achievement in a workplace where the average demographic in the administration office is middle-aged men. What do you want, Tetsu?” You sighed. “You only compliment me when you want something.”

“Well, I just came here to tell you I warded him off. No need to thank me.” He grinned as he folded his arms.

“And why would you do that?” You questioned, astounded by the absolute audacity.

He scoffed.

“Why wouldn’t I? The man has black under his nails and had to be called into HR because his B.O. was considered a bio-hazard.” Kuroo said, adamant in his decision.

“Okay, but it’s not your place.” You snickered, amused but still wanting to scold him a little.

Kuroo Tetsuro didn’t mind a little nagging if it came from you, anyway.

“Well, I’m sorry for having your best interest at heart.” He sulked as he eyed you making your way over to him.

Suddenly, his heart began to hammer as you yanked his tie down so his face was close to yours.

“For a team player, you sure don’t like to share, huh Tetsu? I know you want me all to yourself but try not to make it so obvious to the others.” You whispered, breath tickling the shell of his ear.

Heading out of the small office, Kuroo stood as if his feet were glued.

“Fuck, not now…” He groaned as he felt a strain down his slacks.

wakatoshi ushijima:

“Here.”

You looked up to see none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi, brandishing a small bottle in his hand.

As his physiotherapist for the last few months, it was easy to note his habits. For example, he always made sure to turn up to your appointments five minutes early. On the dot.

On the rare occasion he missed it (which had totalled up three times over six months) he’d make sure to email you the day before.

Even if he was ill, he knew his body. He knew a virus was on its way even without experiencing symptoms.

You tentatively took the small bottle from his grasp and gave him a grateful nod.

As you fixed your eyes on the label, almost as if he read your mind he spoke with that smooth voice of his.

“It’s kefir. Good for gut health.”

“Thank you, Wakatoshi.” You smiled. “That’s very sweet of you. Go ahead and take a seat and I’ll be right with you, okay?”

He nodded but one word threw him off.

…Sweet?

Ushijima felt the tips of his ears heat up. Nobody had called him sweet before. He instantly jerked when you set a hand on his lower back and ushered him indoors.

You were used to Ushijima’s strait-laced nature so you were taken aback at him being jumpy at physical touch.

He took a seat on the padded examination table.

It was always funny to see Ushijima’s hulking figure in your office, you smiled to yourself as you eyed him looking around aimlessly.

It was a little hard not to stare at those firm tan thighs of his.

You’d caught a few of his games where he usually dominated the court. His interactions with others were usually brunt and nothing too interesting.

“So, how's the pain been since our last session?”

“It still flares up during serves and spikes. But it’s manageable.” He replied earnestly.

“Do you mind if I examine that?” You asked.

He nodded and shed off his tracksuit top, a white vest underneath showing off his broad shoulders.

He may have agreed but he wasn’t prepared for those soft, manicured hands of yours to begin to knead and palm his right shoulder and back.

“…There seems to be the issue.” You stated as he jerked and hissed at a particular section of skin.

“Wakatoshi, I told you to ice that area. Have you been skipping out on doctor's orders…?” You teased as you tilted your head.

“You’re not my doctor.” He said bluntly.

“I’m the closest thing you got to one.” You chuckled, undeterred by his frigid tone. Quite frankly, it amused you.

“We'll probably need to focus on strengthening exercises. Can you dedicate time to that?”

“I’m sure.”

“Good. I want to see you at a hundred percent for that game that’s in two weeks."

“You’re coming to the next game?” Wakatoshi asked, a little taken aback. He knew your work schedule was full to the brim since every athlete came running to you.

“…Is that a problem?” You questioned, arching an eyebrow.

“Of course not.” He swallowed thickly and then met your gaze. “I’ll make sure to be on my A game.”

“You’d better be.” You grinned as you slapped his lower back, earning a deep groan from him:

toru oikawa:

“Remember what I told you.” You hissed as you and Oikawa walked into the brightly lit press conference room after his win.

“Relax, relax…! You’d think I was such a nightmare to work with with all your worrying.” He chuckled.

“I mean it. You might be doing fine in games but your publicity is in the toilet. I’m not saying be all sugary but try to be a little gratuitous. Thank your fans…something!”

You froze when you felt his large hands plant onto your shoulders, eyes widening.

“What did I just tell you?” He teased with a glint in his eye.

“…I’m a publicist, Toru. Relaxation doesn’t exist in my world.” You said bluntly.

In your peripherals you noticed a flash go off, causing you to roll your eyes.

There’d always been rumors circulating about the sexy PR manager and Argentina National Team’s Number 13.

You always nagged Oikawa to shoot them down for his own sake since his fangirls were relentless but the most he did was drop a ‘will they/won’t they?’ answer which annoyed you to no end.

“Maybe when you get time off I could fly you out. They have killer massages in Bangkok. You could use one.”

“Just go.” You hissed, pushing his hands off. As he jogged over to the table, he turned around to shoot you a wink.

Oikawa was a natural when it came to commanding attention. As he stood at the podium with microphones, with his billion-dollar smile, the journalists and reporters were buzzing with excitement.

“Alright, alright. Sorry for the hold-up folks. I know this was the first thing on your mind when you woke up.” He chuckled.

You automatically facepalmed.

Your advice went in one ear and out the other. Oikawa was lucky he was handsome. Because despite how douchey that was, it earned a rambunctious round of applause and cheers.

After the cheers settled down, the first reporter stood up, clearing his throat.

“Firstly, I’d like to congratulate you on your win. How does it feel to lead your team to victory once again?”

“It’s as natural as breathing.” He chuckled. “But our opponents put up a great fight. I’ll give credit where credit is due.”

“Despite the adoration from your fans, you’ve faced some criticism regarding your unsportsmanlike behavior of riling up rivals. Any response to that?” A female reporter enquired.

“Well, I know my sense of humor isn’t for everybody. Luckily I got our publicist keeping reins on me. And boy does she keep the leash tight, if you catch my drift.” He said with an impish grin.

At first silence, then it was a sudden flurry of questions, reporters and journalists fighting it out to get the first question.

“Are you dating each other?”

“Are you single or taken?”

Toru Oikawa had a talent for sparking media frenzies.

As your eyes met, you gave him a chopping neck gesture as you grit your teeth, earning a belly laugh from him.

You were so screwed.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq hcs #sawamura daichi x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #toru oikawa x reader #⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ nara scribbles #oikawa x reader #daichi x reader #wakatoshi x reader #tetsuro x reader

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nomazee · 9 days

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Um hello! Is the 1k event thingy still up?? If so I would like to request a classmate! Dr ratio x reader at 2:47 am?

it's actually sickening how much fun i had with this i was giggling at my own jokes while typing this out... this was so fun to write THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

my 1k event!

—°+..｡ﾟ｡ﾟ+.*.｡.—

A blaring, aggravating, shrill sound wakes you up. Your hands go to cover your ears, protecting your sanity from the noise ringing somewhere from the tangle of sheets on your bed. Hands flailing around desperately to find the source of the piercing chimes, you writhe around in agony until you finally latch onto your phone.

The brightness of the screen digs into your corneas as you lift up the device to see the caller ID of whoever had the guts to bother you on a school night.

It comes to no surprise that the caller name reads “VERITAS FUCKING RATIO” in all caps with no contact photo. Your eye twitches and the grip on your phone tightens, just a hair away from leaving finger-shaped dents in the metal.

Begrudgingly, you answer the call, tucking the phone next to your ear with nothing less than displeasure. “Veritas. Why are you calling me at—” you pull your phone back to check, “—almost three in the morning?”

“The works cited page,” Veritas Fucking Ratio informs you matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of sleepiness in his voice, nothing that could possibly chip away at his good image, of course. “You did it in the wrong format. It’s supposed to be APA. This is a science project, not a literature project.”

You might kill him. The project in question is to be presented tomorrow— today at ten in the morning. Ratio and you had been working on it for an entire two weeks, broken up into intermittent hour-long sessions because he was adamant that you split up the work instead of rushing to do it all the night before. Stupid self-righteous gorgeous beautiful academic genius-freak. Yeah, it definitely helped you in the long run, but he acted so sanctimonious about it that you refused to admit the benefits.

“Veritas,” you imbue the syllables of his name with poison, as much as you can when you’re swaying as you sit up on your bed and fighting demons to not fall back asleep. “This is such an easily-fixed thing. Do you know what time it is right now? Why are you even awake? You know, I am supposed to get a full seven hours of sleep every night, and I was already cutting it short today, and you woke me up before I could even hit REM sleep. Do you know how upsetting this is? Fix the goddamn works cited yourself!”

For once, Veritas is at a loss for words. The other end of the line is so quiet that you have to double check and make sure he hasn’t just hung up on you. Perspiration builds on your palms, thinking that this is it—this is the exact moment that you make Veritas-Fucking-Ratio snap and delete your name off the project credit slide, and you’re going to get a 0 because he will wipe off any evidence of your work from this plane of existence, and you will spend the rest of your measly life chasing after your MLA-turned-APA works cited page, too-little-too-late.

“I’m awake because the— well.” He pauses, and his voice sounds so far away and unobtrusive that you’re almost worried. Your breath stills in the middle of your diaphragm. Waiting. “The works cited is one thing. But I wanted you to look at the slides, if you can.”

If you can, he says, as if he’s giving you a choice, which he literally never has during this entire process. You had no role in choosing the topic, or the slide theme, or what days you worked on the project, or how often you worked on the project (because god forbid you procrastinate a little bit, right?!), but now, at almost three in the morning, Veritas is saying something along the lines of oh please my dearest project partner, I request that you open the Google Slides at once, but only if you would like to! I would never infringe on your free will at three in the morning, because I respect you as a partner. Or something like that. That was pretty much the gist of it.

A raspy sigh escapes you, and you claw your busted laptop off the nightstand next to you, opening it up and squinting at the LED screen as you punch in your passcode. “You know, I have done a good job at going along with all of your whims, Veritas, the least you could do is fix the works cited for me. Seriously, how did you even miss that? You’re so detail-oriented, but you didn't even realize the format was wrong until tonight? Who even cares, seriously… it’s just a slideshow…”

Your voice trails off as the slideshow presentation finally loads in. You see Veritas’ default profile picture blink in the upper right-hand corner, signaling that he’s viewing the slideshow with you. The slideshow which has apparently undergone a huge makeover.

It’s—pleasant to look at. This entire time, you and Veritas had been editing a default, white-background black-serif-font-text slideshow. He refused to change it, telling you that it’s unprofessional to do anything too embellished, to which you fruitlessly said, Veritas, we will die early deaths because of the hole in the ozone layer, would you at least make it easier on my poor soul by letting me choose a pokemon-theme slide? Veritas had pretended like he couldn't hear you (in a very quiet library room, mind you), but the twitch in his brow gave him away.

Now, though, the slides are decorated. It’s a really nice theme, complete with custom icons and graphic blobs of color—your favorite color, might you add. It’s—pretty. Dare you say, cute, but you think Veritas would vaporize your entire presentation if you called it cute.

“Did you— this— did you pay for this slide theme?”

“You— n— mn,” he trails off into an unintelligible mash of mumbling, and you hear a loud THUD that sounds awfully like the phone being thrown onto a mattress. Fabric shuffles around, before you hear Veritas’ voice again, clear and composed. “Sorry. I dropped my phone.” What a loser, and a liar, and an endearing freak. You really wish he video called you because you need to see his totally-very-ugly face.

“I thought this was unprofessional, Veritas,” you say teasingly, a smile lining your words as you try not to giggle right into the phone. “What made you have a change of heart?”

“Nothing,” the typical firmness of his voice has returned, much to your dismay. “The works cited is still wrong. You have to fix it.”

“Oh, whatever you say, honored Ratio,” you open up your trusty citation-generator, ready for a long fifteen minutes of copying and pasting information. “Hey, you must be free after class tomorrow, right? Since the project is pretty much over, right?”

“Yes,” Veritas answers after a moment of hesitation, only a hint of doubt in his voice.

“That’s great. Keep your schedule clear, then.”

(You fix the works cited slide, wish Veritas sweet dreams, and then wake up in the morning to completely ace your presentation. The minute the period ends, you drag him out of the classroom and into a coffee shop, paying for some five dollar pastry and joking that it’s payback for the cute slideshow theme that he definitely paid five dollars for. Veritas is an awful liar, and you tell him that, and he can’t even find the strength to deny it.)

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin

fill out my event taglist (pinned) or general taglist (navi) to be tagged in upcoming works!

#nora hits 1k #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #dr. ratio x reader #honkai x reader #ratio x reader #i love this man he's like a wet piece of bark #like a rained-on plank of wood #this drabble is longer than my dan heng one im sick... dr ratio will not overtake my favorites leaderboard.

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dreamauri · 4 months

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♪ — 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗬𝗘𝗦 lando norris x co-worker! fem! reader (fluff) “. . . your co-worker and former classmate has a public crush on you, and you try to play it off. but who are you kidding? it's lando.”

( my master list | more of lando norris ) ( requests | taglist )

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yn.ln

liked by pieregasly charles_leclerc and 29.7k others yn.ln it's been a minute, lets recap.

landonorris Y/N WHAT ARE THESE??!! ↳ yn.ln my favourite parts of the year, duh

username this is GOLD! Lando's face in the third pic is a whole mood😆 ↳ yn.ln RIGHT?! that's his 'I just lost a bet' expression

landonorris when did you take that one in the hospital?? ↳ yn.ln you said and i quote "im looking very pretty right now. take a picture and hang it on my face." ↳ oscarpiastri i can see it ↳ yn.ln i can hear him saying "oscahh" in the corner ↳ landonorris . . . the block botton looks so good rn ↳ yn.ln do it i dare you. ↳ landonorris .... YOU DONT HAVE TO EMBARESS ME INFRONT OF THE INTERNET ↳ username 💀mom?

username lando pointing at the help me thingy pleas-

maxfewtrel send me the whole camera roll? ↳ yn.ln ya got it boss, that's 50 dollars ↳ landonorris ARE YOU MAKING MONEY OFF ME??

username THE LAST PICTURE!! WHY DIDN'T WE SEE THIS BEFORE??!! ↳ yn.ln sorry, i randomly found it in my camera roll, here it is now tho ↳ username god bless you y/n ↳ landonorris she cant be blessed cause she's a demon ↳ yn.ln 😇yet you're standing at my door holding a board game. ↳ landonorris STOP OUTING ME ↳ username god bless you y/n ↳ username god bless you y/n ↳ username god bless you y/n ↳ username god bless you y/n ↳ maxfewtrel LMAO

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landonorris

liked by pieregasly maxverstapen1 and 29.7k others landonorris got our first date!

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yn.ln

liked by pieregasly maxverstapen1 and 26.9k others yn.ln rain!!

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landonorris

liked by pieregasly oscarpistri and 26.9k others landonorris turns out, she really likes compliments!

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yn.ln

liked by pieregasly oscarpistri and 26.9k others yn.ln just the eyes

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username its official?

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borzoilover69 · 29 days

Text

I dont know about you but god sometimes i thibk abt some of the cannibalistic symbolism in dirk and jake relationship and i go a bit insane ok. Let me explain.

So if youre just catching up youre probably wondering, borzoi. Why is everyone doing Dirkjake cannibalism? Where did this come from?

Attached, is three images depicting what could be seen as cannibalism metaphorically. Attached are images of Jake with brainghost Dirk, Brobot ripping his own heart for Jake, and Dirks beheaded head, sent to Jake by Dirk. In simple terms, this sacrifice and act of giving Jakes parts of himself could be seen as cannibalism, which hangs on giving a part of you to someone you love for their own use.

But it runs a bit deeper than that. Cannibalism and violence as a love language is a rather nontraditional take, toeing the line on macabre, but its also a sign of extreme loyalty. It “highlights the contradictory urges of desire and aggression.”(Typeset, 2023). Dirk has two rather extreme examples of this, with Brobot ripping his heart out for Jake, killing himself, and Dirk beheading himself and transportalizing it to Jake to kiss, again, killing him.

This connects to Dirkjake by their dichotomy between the affection and intensely loyal bond they have to each other and their more violent combat based bond shown in the comic, from their relationship with their respective weapons to Jakes desire to fight (and Dirks subsequent gift of a robot to help protect and train him) to their hobby of choice in game (raiding tombs and fighting monsters) to even post credits (where they are seen engaged in a strife). Combat plays such a big role in their relationship.

Another thing to bring up about the cannibalism love metaphor is that it was often seen in old culture that to devour someone in death was to forever have a special bond with them, they become part of you and you share attributes. Which.. again. Need i say more? Brainghost dirk is a PART of Jake. The unique bond is one of Dirks fragmented self in Jakes soul, but also as a subconscious voice of reason given life in the form of Jakes best friend.

Cannibalism is a wordless nod to wordless acts of physical affection and intimate exchange between two people. Its no small feat to say that Dirk and Jake struggle with that. The majority of their lovelife is wordless, delivered through proxies or their reflections on their relationship through others. They find themselves feeling selfish and heartless for wanting to love each other in the ways they do. On dirks side, his desire to serve ingrains itself to him giving parts of himself to others whether it be a robot bunny, an autoresponder, or a robot. His gift to Jake are notably extreme, however Jake does not seem adverse to it, noting how he feels some sort of intimacy on being on level fighting ground with brobots (hence the upping in difficulty) and the “movie kiss.”

Its a selfish sort of love. Jake is known for his interest in non-traditional forms lf love over traditional (Think avatar and the.. hair connection thingies). But it serves them just fine. Its a way for the one that is cannibalised to offer themselves a gift to the devourer, and as a sacrifice. For the cannibal, its a chance for them to remain with a part of their lover forever. Dirk desires to be Jakes. In consumption, he will forever be part of him. A part of him surrenders all autonomy and ownership to seek the desire of being impossibly close. Which we do in fact see! When separated and in distress, Brainghost Dirk makes his appearance and fights for him, even as Dirk himself is hundreds of miles away hurtling through space… a part of him even haunts Jake after death in the postcanon, irrevocably, forever..his.

In short, Cannibalism is a nontraditional form of physical and intimate affection that seeks to show the depths of loyalty to the beloved and the desire to have a special bond and connection- to be a part of them- forever. Throughout the story of homestuck, Dirks splinters serve to accomodate themselves in that way, through the physical acts they act out or the special connection between brainghost dirk and jake. Hope you enjoyed reading!

#homestuck meta #homestuck #hom3stuck #dirk strider #jake english #dirkjake #borzoi talks #borzoi meta #*eye twjtches #yeah ok man #AND TO WHOEVER SAID IT WAS A SEX THING FUCK YOU!!!#IM AROACE MFER #KILL AND DEATH!!!#Anyways.

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fanficriter · 8 months

Text

Dating the BNHA Boys!

Warnings - None

Characters - Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Tamaki Amajiki

Notes - Isn’t my best work but oh well :3

Gender Neutral Reader

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Izuku Midoriya

- Silly lil guy

- Took him a LOT of courage to confess to you

- Just kinda stood there dumbfounded when you reciprocated his feelings

- Poor boy is lowkey insecure

- He’s silently insecure about his scars :(

- If you kissed his scars i think he’d go insane

- Will probably cry

- He has little notes about how pretty you are in his quirk journal thingy

- Will go in rants about how amazing you are to his friends

- “Y/N is just so perfect and i love them and i don’t know what id do with out them they’re always there for me and-“

- If you have long hair, he always keeps a pack of hair ties incase you need them 😭

- When you tell him about something you like, he will write it down so he remembers

- Was soooo nervous when he first held your hand

- He was SWEATING

- Always blushes without fail

- His hand are rough, but also rlly soft? (i need to make hand hcs holy shit)

- Doesn’t really like sparring with you bc he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he will if you rlly want to

- He will train together tho!

- He loves giving you tips, and watching you use your quirk

- Likes setting up little picnics with you bc he’s quite literally the perfect man ever

- He is a CUDDLIER

- Absolutely loves cuddling with you

- Loves it when you face him and dig your face into his neck

- Definitely talks in his sleep

- He loves taking you on dates to a bunch of different restaurants and such

- Gets so nervous when kissing you

- He loves it but he gets flustered way to easy

Katsuki Bakugou

- Malewife fr

- Will cook for you, though he acts like it’s a chore, he loves your reaction to all his different meals

- Deaf bakugou hc is my favourite thing ever i’m sorry

- He can still hear, (kind of) but he needs to wear a hearing aid

- He knows sign language, but really only uses it around his mom bc he’s embarrassed😭

- If you know sign language, you’ll win his heart IMMEDIATELY

- You were definitely the one to confess first

- Actually rejected you at first (he still liked you at the time)

- But after a few weeks, he confessed to you

- “I actually feel the same way or whatever… just didn’t wanna feed your ego to much…”

- Knows how to style hair weirdly well

- Will always make excuses to do your hair

- “Oi, c’mere, your hair looks like shit.”

- He’ll never admit it, but he LOVES head scratches

- Will lay on your thighs without warning, expecting you to scratch his scalp

- Sparring together is a MUST

- Don’t expect him to go easy on you

- Isn’t to big on PDA, but he’ll kiss you in private all you want

- The first few times you guys held hands, he was kinda scared that he would accidentally explode you 💀

- Doesn’t really take you out for dates a lot, it’s usually just movies and popcorn in bed

- But on the rare occasion when he DOES take you on a date, it is at the fanciest restaurants known to mankind

- Or hiking, he likes hiking

- It took a while for him to be comfortable with cuddling, but he loves spooning you, or holding you as you bury your face into his chest

Shoto Todoroki

- Confessed to you pretty soon after he realised his feelings

- Straight to the point

- “I’ve recently developed feelings for you.”

- Has a small smile when you said you liked him back

- He stares at you a lot

- Loves admiring you

- Also gives the weirdest compliments?

- “You have a nice facial structure, it suits you”

- “Thank you??”

- Will pick flowers occasionally and give them to you

- Literally buys you everything

- With his Dads credit card (You have no idea)

- You see a pair of shoes you like? BOOM. They are yours in 0.5 seconds

- He just buys everything bro CALM DOWN

- Loves taking you on fancy dinner dates

- You have to meet his siblings btw

- Mainly bc his sister WOULD NOT SHUT UP AB MEETING YOU

- She loves you

- So much

- It’s actually a bit concerning

- Doesn’t necessarily not like PDA, he just doesn’t feel the need to initiate it

- He can be a bit oblivious, so if you want PDA, just tell him!

- He has no problem with it

- Not really a cuddly person, but he will cuddle you if you want!

- Your relationship is definitely based on a lot of communication 😭

- As time passes, he will start to do those things without you having to ask, he just needed to get used to it

Tamaki Amajiki

- oh my god okay

- He confessed first but it took him SOOOO long

- Needed so much encouragement from his friends

- Then he just blurted it out while he was at your house one time

- “I- I love you!!”

- Almost died when you said it back

- Actually saw god when you tried holding his hand the first time

- CANNOT do PDA i think he would die

- Definitely an act of service man, he is too shy to do anything else

- Can’t reach somthing ? he’s on it. Your bathroom need cleaning? Consider it done!

- Also likes making you random little gifts

- Kiss him on the cheek i dare you

- He will EXPLODE

- Your always helping him calm down in public

- “Y/N i wanna go home”

- Further into the relationship he will slowly get used to physical affection

- I don’t think he will ever not get flustered tho

- He loves taking you out too eat

- Really likes picnic dates

- I feel like he meditates often to try and clear his head (there is a lot going on in there 😭)

- Will always invite you to meditate with him

- He actually really likes cuddling with you

- He almost dies every time but

- Loves when you spoon him

- Also loves laying on your chest (or the other way around)

- Absolute chef in the kitchen

- Always cooking u meals

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This took my life 3 weeks to write i kept putting it off so it’s not as detailed as i’d like it to be but oh well

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to-thelakes · 1 month

Text

exhausted

pairing; frank castle x fem!reader (mentions of matt murdock)

summary; after you lose your cool at matt and frank, frank comes to see you and helps you get some much-needed rest

warnings; initial angst, a smidge of hurt/comfort, fluff, domestic frank castle, soft frank castle, exhausted reader, insomniac reader, discussion of nightmares

notes; this one-shot is an oldie but a goodie, i keep reading back and looking at some one-shots i've previously written and i think this one is good enough that i can share it with the world, i wrote it initially with sharing it in mind so i might as well do it! also this one-shot thingie was inspired by a one-shot i saw here on tumblr, the beginning of this is pretty similar to the one i read so if anyone knows what fic i'm referencing, i'd love to be able to credit who inspired this! otherwise, this is just some comforting frank content because i am an avid insomniac and sometimes you just need the big scary punisher to help you fall asleep

masterlist

You weren’t entirely sure how it had happened but at some point between knowing Matt and Frank, you had become their nurse. Of course, you didn’t particularly mind. Matt had always been kind to you and you enjoyed his company. He was a little flirty but you were used to it and you could lament in your misery with him.

With Frank, he had saved you from some criminals months ago and you had been freaking out. He did his best to calm you down before walking you home and after a particularly bad night, Matt brought Frank to you to patch up. Honestly, you didn’t mind their company and you didn’t mind patching them up.

Ever since you’d moved on from being a Nurse, you’d refound your passion for caring for people but only if it was Frank or Matt. But you also hated taking care of them. Despite having a relatively normal life and sleep schedule compared to when you were a nurse, you were still woken up in the middle of the night by them.

It had been a quiet night for you. You’d finished work and curled up on your bed to drift off and you had. It had been a blissful sleep until you were rudely awoken by your phone ringing. You wanted to tell whoever it was to leave you the fuck alone but when you saw it was Matt, you answered. He asked if you could come over and help patch Frank and him up.

You - reluctantly - agreed since he was only a block over. You didn’t want them bloody up your apartment and so with a great huff, you got out of bed. You changed into comfortable clothes and then grabbed your kit for nights like these and headed to Matt’s place.

Getting in wasn’t hard even in your exhausted and sleepy daze. You managed to find your way up to the fire escape where the two men were sitting. Well, Frank was sat, leaning against the vent, cradling a wound while Matt stood. He was pacing in his Daredevil costume and he looked frustrated. It was practically radiating off of him.

They both looked pretty bruised and yet, they were still arguing. It took you a minute to catch on to the conversation but the second you did you sighed.

“You gotta let me do my shit, altar boy. I don’t give a shit what you can sense, I know what I’m doing and we would have been fine if you hadn’t stopped me from doing my goddamn job,” Frank raged as he stared up at Matt. His hand was pressed against the wound on his side and yet his jaw still flexed with obvious annoyance.

“If you had just listened to me then we would have been fine! You never listen, I can hear more than you can. I can hear their guns, Frank. If you had just shut your damn mouth for one goddamn second, it would have been fine!” Matt snapped in response. His annoyance was radiating off of him and you just looked between them. You weren’t entirely convinced that even of them had realised you were there but you knew Matt could smell you.

“I listen fucking plenty. I knew what I was getting my sorry ass into but you just have to be the fucking saviour, don’t you Red? Always a hero,” Frank scoffed. His tone was scathing and he winced when the pain only seemed to get worse. The irritation that Matt waking you up had began only seemed to grow as you listened to them continue to bicker back and forth about who was right and who was responsible for Frank’s wound. And why Red just couldn’t have listened to Frank for one goddamn minute.

It was probably five minutes of bickering and you had finally had enough. You dropped your kit bag onto the floor and suddenly, both of their attentions snapped to you.

“You are both so insufferable!” You snapped suddenly, glaring between the two men, “I get my ass out of bed after working all fucking day for you two to be bickering like three-year-olds over something that doesn’t fucking matter anymore. Take my shit and patch yourself up. I’m done with this.” Your anger only seemed to grow and you watched as both Matt and Frank’s face fell. You stepped back from the pair of them, “Ungrateful bastards,” You muttered as you headed back to the fire escape and towards Matt’s apartment.

“Hey(!), sweetheart,” Frank’s voice made you pause in your steps. If his next words weren’t an apology, you were going to scream, “Don’t gotta be so fucking moody. Didn’t even see ya.” That was it and you turned on your heel to face them again.

“I couldn’t give a shit if you didn’t see me Frank. I know sure as hell that Matt could smell me before I even got onto the fucking roof. And I’m sure his senses will tell him that I haven’t showered in three days because I’ve been so busy with my new fucking workload that I have barely had the chance to take care of myself. This is the first evening that I haven’t had to work late for my asshole boss and I finally managed to get some sleep until you assholes had to wake me up because you can never work together! I honestly don’t care what happens to you next time. If one of you gets bloody and bruised, don’t fucking call me. Lose my number, both of you.” And with that final word, you walked off the roof and down to Matt’s apartment. You felt like crying, the irritation had seeped into frustration and the tears were blurring your vision as you pulled the apartment door open.

“Sweetheart,” Matt’s voice was so soft as he rushed over to you in the doorway. Your head snapped up so that he could look at you or you assumed he was, you could tell where he was looking with that stupid mask on, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called,” Matt’s voice had softened significantly as he was looking at you.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” You bit back. Matt’s lips turned down into a frown. He suddenly had no idea what to say. He had never seen you like this. Even when you were stressed and overworked as a nurse, you always had this sunny disposition to everything that you did. This was new, he hated it because he knew it was his fault.

“Please, how can I fix this?” Matt asked and you rolled your eyes. The apartment door still open in front of you.

“I told you, lose my number,” You snapped. Matt frowned but before he could even say anything, you were gone. He let out a frustrated huff and he listened as you walked to the elevator and disappeared down to street-level. He didn’t know what to do now.

The weekend eventually rolled around and you were relaxing for the first time in a very long time. You were curled up on the couch, watching trash TV with a pizza from your favourite take-out on the coffee table. It was the ideal day.

Well, that was until you heard a knock at your apartment door. A soft huff escaped your lips and you unfurled yourself from your cocoon of blankets to answer it. When you pulled the door open, the last person you expected stood on the other side. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in Frank Castle in all his broad glory with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Your favourite flowers no doubt. You didn’t even know what to say.

“Ya said don’t call,” Frank began and then he held out the flowers, “So I came over instead.” There was a slight softness to his words and it made you let out a soft chuckle. You shook your head but took the bouquet from his hands.

“Thank you,” You mumbled before gesturing for him to come in. The trashy TV show you had on was playing as you grabbed a vase from under the sink and ripped the wrapping from around the flowers. You then grabbed some scissors from the drawer and Frank watched as you snipped the ends at a diagonal and placed them into the water before adding the packet of food.

“M’sorry about the other night,” Frank said after a few beats of silence. You shrugged and rearranged the flowers and when you were happy enough with them, you took them over to the windowsill to replace the faux flowers you had put there weeks ago, “I really appreciate everything’ ya do for me,” He said as he watched you move. You shrugged and wrapped your arms around yourself, moving to sit down on your sofa. You didn’t want to have this conversation.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” You said firmly. Frank sighed and he glanced at the door, not sure whether you wanted him to leave or stay. You glanced back at him expectantly and so he walked over, sitting down on the couch beside you. You grabbed a slice of pizza and offered it to him. He found himself smiling as he took it from your hands.

“M’really sorry, I didn’t-” But before Frank could get any further you put your hand up to silence him. Then your gaze turned on him and he looked back at you.

“Frank, I seriously don’t wanna think about it. Just eat your pizza and shut up,” You told him as you reached out for another slice for yourself. He grunted in response and you seemed pleased with that. You shuffled back, pulling blankets over your shoulder with your free hand before you took a bite out of the pizza. Frank was sitting on one of the blankets on the sofa but you didn’t bother to say anything as you ate.

Your gaze was fixed on the TV. There was about to be an elimination from the show and although you didn’t care for many of the contestants, there was one guy that you wanted to get kicked out. He had the most infuriating personality and had treated every girl like an object since he had been introduced. He rubbed you the wrong way and so, you watched with bated breath to see if he would finally be kicked out.

And he was. Frank noticed the victorious grin on your face as he leaned over for another slice of pizza. You let him grab it as you finished your slice off. Then you shuffled on the sofa and adjusted the blankets around your shoulder again.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” You broke the silence between the pair of you. The sound of the TV was the only thing that was filling the air until that.

He glanced over at you before he shook his head, letting out a grunt of disagreement. You nodded and then pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulder, “I’ve had a really stressful week at work, I’ve not been sleeping well and I thought that when I quit my job at Metro General my late nights would end. That I would be able to sleep properly again. But you and Matt changed that and I don’t mind. I usually don’t mind at all but this week, I just- I couldn’t do it. I had dragged myself out of sleep which I had barely been able to get into and then you both just bickered. And I really don’t mind helping either of you. I like helping you both but I just can’t do it right now.”

You were rambling, you knew you were rambling but you felt like Frank deserved an explanation. He was injured and you had left him to be stitched up by Matt. It felt cruel but you were also exhausted. Not even by them, just by life.

“You don’t gotta explain,” Frank said after a beat. You looked up at him, he had a sorrowful look on his face. It was almost guilty-looking and you didn’t want him to feel guilty. A soft huff escaped your lips as you ran your fingers across your face.

“No, I do because I didn’t have to blow up at you guys. I didn’t have to be so rude. I could have just left but I made a scene and it wa-” Frank cut you off before you got a chance to finish your sentence.

“Ya had every right to shout. We dragged you outta bed for somethin’ that we coulda handled on our own. You were angry and shit, I woulda said worse. You can’t bottle that shit up, you know?” He responded as he looked down at you. You let out a soft sigh, running your fingers through your hair. You didn’t know what to even say.

“I’m just so tired, Frank,” You mumbled. It had been weighing on you all week and it was the first time you had let yourself admit it. You were so exhausted. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. The tension in the room seemed to increase tenfold at the submission and Frank was silently observing you as you reached for a pizza slice, hoping to distract your exhaustion-addled mind. It was too much.

“Lie down for a bit, yeah?” He said and you looked up at him, confusion etched across your features. Almost bemused by his words.

“I’ve tried that Frank. Plus, it’s too early,” You mumbled before you took a bite of your pizza. He shook his head and closed the pizza box on the coffee table. He then reached for the TV remote and he switched it off.

“Nah, enough of this shit. We’re gonna lie down and I’ll make sure you get some goddamn sleep. alright?” There was no room to argue with him and as he stood up, looming above you, you weren’t entirely sure you had the bravery to. So, you simply nodded your head. You placed the half-eaten pizza slice into the box and then got to your feet, leaving your cocoon of blankets on the sofa so you could go to bed, “You gonna brush your teeth?” He asked. You nodded your head. Even though you had just eaten, you had to make sure that they were brushed before you went to bed and so, Frank lingered in the doorway as you brushed your teeth, “Red’s gonna give you shit when he finds out about this, sweetheart,” Frank commented off-handedly. You spat some toothpaste into the sink before you glanced over at him.

“He can smell when I last showered, I think he already knows,” You muttered before you finished brushing your teeth. You grabbed the towel and washed the toothpaste off your mouth, washing your mouth out with water before you stepped back. You were already in pyjamas so you were ready for bed.

“Yeah, that’s what he tells ya,” Frank mumbled as you headed towards your bedroom. Frank slipped his boots off at the foot of your bed and discarded his jacket on top of your dresser before he glanced over at you.

“Are you sleeping in the bed too?” You asked tentatively. Frank turned to look at you, cocking an eyebrow.

“That a problem?” He asked curiously. You shook your head and he nodded, “You been gettin’ nightmares?” His question caught you completely off-guard and you just stared at him, dumb-founded from the side of your bed. He huffed out in mild amusement, “You were an ER nurse, gives its own scars,” He shrugged. You sighed and rubbed your hands across your face.

“It’s not nightmares. It’s just not dreams either. I can just hear flatlining and feel blood and I’m running down corridors, plagued by the clean smell of the hospital. It’s sterile and I wake up and I swear I can smell it,” You mumbled, trying your best to explain the experiences. You hated calling them nightmares because nothing scary happened. It was just your feelings and memories of the place you used to love.

“You wake up scared?” He asked as he walked over to the opposite side of the bed. You nodded your head, “Then it’s a nightmare. When did your dirtbag ex break up with you?” You didn’t seem to understand how that correlated but it had been only a month ago. It coincided with the exact time you began to have issues sleeping.

“A month ago. I’ve not been a nurse for months. Why is that relevant?” You asked as you decided to pull the covers back but you didn’t get in.

“You’re sleeping alone, sweetheart. Does things to you especially when you’re not used to,” He stated blankly. It seemed to dawn on you why he knew this and you just stared at him for a moment, not sure whether to apologise or offer sympathy but he didn’t give you a chance, “Now let’s get you some sleep, hm?” You smiled thankfully and slipped under the covers. Frank slipped under them beside you and you pulled them up to your shoulder.

Then you grabbed onto the pillow, adjusting it under your head. Frank was facing you, his hands resting in front of him as yours rested under your head. He watched you adjust and get comfortable before you let out a sigh.

“I always hated sleeping alone,” You mumbled after a moment of silence, “When I was a kid, my little brother would always get nightmares and so we’d sleep in the same bed. Then, by the time he had grown out of that habit, I was old enough that I was going to high school and my parents began to - reluctantly - let my partner stay over. Then, I went to college and I basically spent every night with someone in my bed whether that was a friend or someone I was dating. I never really got used to sleeping alone, I guess.” Although Frank didn’t have the exact same feeling as you as he had slept alone plenty of times while he was on tours, he understood what you meant. After he lost Maria, he found it impossible to sleep alone. The nightmares tormented him. It got better with time but never really truly better. It’s the main reason why he pushed his body to the point of collapse. Then he didn’t have to worry about trying to fall asleep alone. It just happened because his body didn’t give him a choice. You had started to do the same.

“Just try and get some sleep tonight, yeah?” He suggested. You nodded and you let your eyes fall closed. He shifted on the bed before he let his eyes close as well. You sighed and felt your eyes forcing themselves back open. They didn’t want to stay closed and after a few more minutes of desperately trying to keep them closed, you rolled onto your back.

And you stared at the ceiling like you had for so many nights over the past few months. You were never able to sleep, when you woke up from sleep, you just stared. You had memorised every crack in the shitty ceiling and now there was nothing new to look at. You didn’t know what was wrong with you but you hated it.

“Hey,” Frank said softly. It was so quiet that you almost missed it and then you turned your head to the side to look at him, “You gotta tell me what ya need if I’m gonna help,” You knew what you needed but you weren’t about to ask Frank for it. This was already crossing the bounds of your friendship and you felt almost disrespectful even doing this but he seemed insistent. His eyes were burning into the side of your head.

“My ex used to…” You trailed off, not sure whether to say it. Frank grunted in a somewhat encouraging way as he shuffled towards you, “They used to cuddle with me when I couldn’t sleep and they’d… God I can’t ask this of you.” You cut yourself off before you could finish your sentence. Your hands pressed over your face, embarrassment flooding your face in the form of heat crawling up your neck and across your cheeks. This was too much.

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” He brought your hands away from your face and you turned to look at him, meeting his soft gaze, “I don’t give a shit if it’s embarrassing, tell me.” His words were firm and you sighed, taking a deep breath before you turned over onto your side so that you could look at him properly again.

“They’d like hold me against their chest, like my forehead against their chest and then they’d run their fingers across my arm. It just always relaxed me,” You finally admitted. Frank smiled softly, not even caring what you were asking of him. Instead, he shuffled forward on the bed and brought you towards him.

“Come ‘ere,” He mumbled. You shuffled into him and with a tentative breath, you rested your forehead against his chest. One of his hands rested under his head while the other moved to rest against the back of your arm. He drew you closer and you gave in, letting your body mold against his. His fingers slowly began to trace along the skin on the back of your arm.

A soft breath of relief escaped your lips, the familiar touch cooled your nervous system in seconds. Your eyes fell closed, tension releasing at the movements as you moved your arms around Frank. Your hand draped over his hip as you felt exhaustion return to your body after you had fought it away all day.

“Thank you,” You muttered under your breath. Your voice was slower than before, sleep ready to take you as you relaxed into his hold.

“Sleep well, sweetheart,” He mumbled against your hair as he rested against you. His touch against your skin was the last thing you remembered before the bliss of sleep took you in.

#frank castle #frank castle x reader #the punisher #frank castle x you #frank castle fluff #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x female reader #the punisher fluff #the punisher x reader #reader-insert #matt murdock #daredevil

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faeridollz · 2 months

Note

Imagine Ghost chases reader through the woods as 'tracking practice'? 🤭

Cw; mentions of sex, mentions of marking, chased reader, mentions of noncon/dubcom.

A/n; AGHHH Ofc nonnie !!! (Thanks to @cafekitsune for dividers! ((Maybe I should just credit cafekitsune on my pinned thingy)) ) people call you love for a nickname btw

Paring; ghost x reader Ft price!

ˏ ˋ°•*⁀➷ “BRO I AM NOT DOING THAT WTH.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at price. “C’mon love, it’s jus’ up tha mountain. It’s not tha’ bad.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. Not only are you scared of ghost, but he’s always giving you that silent death glare. And now, at 5 in the fucking morning, your captain wants you to help ghost with his tracking skills. “So you do it! Or get soap or something! Ghost doesn’t even like me!! And it’s dark as shit outside how am I supposed to navigate through that mountain!?” You argue. “You can get a week-long leave. Is that better?” You can tell he’s starting to get frustrated.

You don’t want to make price mad. He has a lot to deal with as it is. But damn! You’re uneasy when it comes to ghost and now you’re supposed to have him track you on a mountain, in the dark, alone.? “Fine..” you grit your teeth, practically fuming as you exit his office.

You shrink a bit at ghost’s rough gaze, price next to you. “Okay lovie, you’re gonna get a five-minute head start on tha mountain. Then ghost is gonna go in and search f’ya. Understood?” Price hums, watching you nod. When he starts the timer you run straight into the trees, trying to at least get far enough into the mountain to where ghost can’t get you. But when that five minutes is beyond over, and you step on a thin branch, you hear it. His heavy boots quickly navigated through the crunchy leaves and the way his rough voice called into the radio. “Target spotted.” You almost squeal as you rush through the forest, adrenaline pumping through your supple body.

Then you fucking trip, right over an exposed tree root. A choked shriek leaving your plush lips as you tumbled down a small hill, hiccuping and teary eyed as you looked behind yourself to see Simon. He looks a bit disappointed as you try and stand up, probably to run again. “stay down.” He growled, putting a foot on your back and forcing you back down, getting on top of you and taking a fistful of your hair. “G-ghost.” You hic. “Pathetic.” He whispers, taking his phone to take a photo of you. (Ghost face style) Sending it to price with the message ‘target down.’ “H-hey.. you got me so l-let me go!” You try to squirm, but he’s way too heavy. “I think you need to be taught a lesson on how to be quiet huh love?” He chuckled.

It hurts and feels so good at the same time. He was way too big to fit but he just forced his way into your tight little cunny. You try and quiet down your moans but he’s just going too fast for you to not make some noise. What are you gonna tell Price when you come back to him so late? How is he gonna feel when he sees all the pretty marks ghost assaulted your skin with? :(

#cod smut #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #meanie!simon Riley #bunny!reader #faeridollz #faeridollz asks!!

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hotvinimon · 2 months

Text

Valentines Day With Sub!Boyfriend Izuku ?

Sub Boyfriend Izuku Midoriya Headcanons and small fics in between.

Plot : It's Valentines. And what's the best gift for your oh so innocent and cute sub boyfie Izuku Midoriya ?

Author’s note : I hope you really like this. I'm sorry for posting this so late after Valentines. Also this fic is 18+. Minors do not interact.

Warnings : MDNI. NSFW. 18+. Gag, Handjob, overstimulation. The images are not mine. Credits to the owner.

Join my taglist - Here or let me know in the comments.

If you had a slightest thought that Izuku would be the one who would shower his s/o with gifts on valentines like he doesn’t do that already on normal days, then you are hundred and one percent right.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who comes at your place at 6 in the morning to surprise you with tons of heart shape thingies ?? Heart shaped balloons, Heart shaped red velvet cake, Heart shaped Chocolates, Heart Shaped Cupcakes. You name a thing and he has it there, and that too in a heart shape.

“Who is- O my god Izu ??? What are you doing here this early ??” Rubbing off the drool from your chin you looked at Izuku with wide eyes who was almost carrying a mini bakery in his hands. “I was just excited to see you. Be my valentines ??” he extends all the stuff he was carrying in his arms and gives you the sweetest smile ever that you could never refuse to. Like you could ever say no to him.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who would show you each and everything he for you.

“Gosh Izu~ this is too much. How would I eat everything ??” you chuckled at his sweet gesture. “But I really appreciate you for doing all this. How about I show you something that I got for you ?”.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who would become really excited about your reaction that you could almost see his imaginary tail wagging and perked up ears.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who gets a mini shock attack when you give him a kiss t-shirt ?? He wants all them on his lips. He Would definitely beg you to kiss him with non-stain proof lipstick all over him.

"Did you made this ?" He was really whipped. "Yes Baby. Do you like it ?" "OFCOURSE I DO. CAN I HAVE THEM ON MY LIPS ??" "ofcourse baby." You chuckled at his energy.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku would point out every empty space on his body.

"And here" "Here too" "There is some space as well !!"

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who would be confused when you would tell him that the gift is still waiting for him. But his confusion is replaced with hard breath and blood rush when you come out of the wardrobe in a very sexy piece. Small ribbon bows tied on your stiff nipples and covered with a very shear see through net top, garter belt attached with lacy thongs decorated with an embroided "IZUKU" in front and a pom pom ball in the back, mist sprayed all over your body giving an illusion of sweat, your half lidded eyes eye fucking him and your glossy lips parted just for him.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who can feel his boner strapped tight in his jeans that's rubbing with every movement of his body. He tries to adjust himself under your gaze and he props himself up, attempting to hide the massive bulge.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who shudders when you chuckle and prop yourself on his lap, right above his ehm ehm. You give his lips a peck, then take his breath away by sliding your tongue over his. He's so stunned he almost forgets to kiss you back, until he regains an inch of composure and starts licking and sucking at you.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who gets absolute pufferfish when you ask him to word what he wants. He blushes and tries to tell you but gets absolutely crazy when you distract him by planting butterflies on his neck, poking and picking his nipples and grinding his tent through his jeans.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who becomes a stuttering mess and can’t even form proper words. But whenever he tries, gets poked or teased by you. He feels his jeans staining and mouth drooling. He knows better to tell you than keeping his words to himself.

"Baby, tell me," your delicate fingers trace the ink up his neck to where it stops at his jaw, "tell me what you need." "W-want-" he stutters and breathes hard. You smile sweetly, giving a kitten lick to his neck. “Hmm ?? what were you saying ?? you need to tell me what you want” “I-It it… Hu… hur” he again shuts up when you slowly grind his nipples with yours. “What is it Zuku ?? kitten I can’t help you if you don’t tell me. You’ll tell mommy what you want right ??” you mewl at him.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who short circuited when he heard you. The new nick name travelled straight to his dick

“Mm… Momm… Mommyy… It-It-Hr-hurts.” Izuku complains with fat tears in his eyes.

“Where does it hurt baby ?” you coo at him. “H-Here.” C-could you please k-kiss it better ??” Izuku points out at the massive tent that you are grinding on past few minutes. “is this,” you look up at him through narrowed eyes, “is this where it hurts, love?” Another small twitch is felt, a nonverbal answer. “you want me to kiss this better, do you?” You tilt your head to the side, silently urging him to say it out loud himself.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who nods frantically, his breath shallow and rapid, unable to form coherent words to express his urgent need and the intensity of his longing that he's been holding onto for what feels like an eternity.- what he’s willing to do for if, it’s all the confirmation you need to pull his pants down without wasting a second.

he’s hard, painfully so. Unable to resist, you reach for the tip, softly hovering at his clothed lenght, almost teasing him . “aww,” You flicked his cock beneath his boxers that sprang back once again “my darling baby.” A squeal escapes from his lips and he lets out long drawn whimpers. “don’t worry about the pain anymore,” you reassure him, he lets out low whimpers and moans that were once again captured by your lips. “i’ll take care of you. But as much as I love your voice, I want you to keep quiet. You know, all of my neighbours are at home. We don't want little kids to hear your filthy whimpers do we ??" you poked his lenght with your manicured nail.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who has no idea what you have for him. He gets all wide eyed when you tie his hands with the headboard and his legs with corners of the bed. You slowly hover over him and removes all unnecessary clothing except for his boxers. Which seem so torturous for the poor baby.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who gapes at the sight of gag that you tie to his mouth, but more painful was the part where you just sat on his tent and start grinding, while continuously sucking and nibing his nipples.

His legs are shaking, you realise, and you haven't even done anything yet. Drool and tears roll down his face, as he involuntarily rubs himself against you. Gently, you thumb the slit and stroke his pulsing cock, eyes flickering to his face to see how he likes it. It was so painful to watch him, that you finally inched down his boxers, resulting in a broken sigh from Izuku. "you like this, do you?" you laugh softly when his eyes practically roll back in his head, your tongue kitten licking that angry, fat tip of his - flushed a dark shade of cerise that looks absolutely delicious. “patience, love.” falling apart beneath your touch — poor baby’s just burning up — you lean back for a moment, letting saliva pool in your mouth before you spit on his shaft. You use a finger to prod at his entrance, eyes slightly widening at the feeling. “Wow love, you are so wet. You're dripping all over your legs and the pillows,” You murmur in astonishment, dragging your finger around the hole.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who whines in embarrassment, cheeks flushed from his heat, and now from humilation.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku who wants you. he wants all of you, and in return he’ll give you everything that he is. he’ll do anything for you, absolutely anything, all you have to do is order!

You fingers continue to drag along the area inches from his now hard dick, eyeing it contently. It sticks up proud, and seems to be begging to be touched. You smile and turn back to him, watching the way his chest raises from his breath in steady motions. you wrap your hands around his length, tighter than before, his pre leaves your hands a sticky mess. you look up at him, “eyes on me,” you say simply, adoring the way his lashes flatter as he look down at you with hearts in his hooded eyes, tears slipping down his freckled cheeks, a thin sheen of sweat coating his skin as he struggles to catch his breath. He whips his head back and forth and whines into the gag. It comes out as a broken plea. You start stroking his lenght at a very fast pace that gets him see starts in the dim light of your room.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku whose body goes limp from the pleasure, mind having overheated as he practically melts like butter, when ropes of white liquid shoot out, resulting a complete mess.

Sub!BoyfriendIzuku whose eyes go all wide when he sees you fisting his cock once more and swirling around the tip once again.

It’s gonna be a long valentine

Tag List - @a4g3lstarfire, @marum0fubiy0ri

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hopelesslyromanticshark · 2 months

Note

wait now i’m so curious of how jason would be with a mortal girlfriend like your headcanons for percy were so good and it’s such an interesting concept

⋆⭒˚.⋆ jason grace x mortal! reader hcs

content: jason grace x mortal! reader hcs warning: language, fluff then immediate angst that will give you whiplash so sorry but it was also too fun not to put in author's note: I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IT WAS GOING SO WELL AND THEN I GOT SAD AND I MADE THIS HEARTBREAKING MONSTROSETY YOUR WELCOME also, I made that text thingy myself bc I wanted it to match the Percy one and I’m v proud of it so if you guys could fill the comments with ‘wow that text looks so good and made me Laugh Out Loud you’re so funny’ that’d be great for my ego thanks

you guys didn't met at school, obvi

genuinely have no idea if this guy is smarter than a fifth grader but that's a topic for another day

jason was just doing his big time praetor thing, ya know how it be, killing monsters and what not

and you were happily walking through rome, trying to enjoy your vacation when you basically got body slammed by a lady in an annoyingly scratchy feather suit.

"hey! watch it!" you shouted, indignantly from the ground, causing the lady to spin and growl at you.

now that you were squinting up at the woman, you realized the scratchy feather suit wasn't a feather suit at all but rather just scratchy feathers attached to this lady.

"you're dinner, kid!" she squawked at you and you did the natural thing; scream your head off.

jason, with his wonderful timing, finally came by and stabbed the harpie, leaving her to disintegrate

"are you oka-"

"WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" you continue to scream, heaving breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down.

jason crouched to your level, tossing his sword behind him and hold his hands out gently

"hey, hey. it's okay, you're okay. i'm- i'm jason. and sorry," he spoke, softly, as you were calming yourself down

tho, his sweet voice was helping

"i'm y/n. i would say nice to meet you but i think you're a murderer so," you replied, eyeing him carefully and looking like you were ready to bolt.

"no, i'm not."

"you know, that's exactly what a murderer would say."

"fair point."

"not helping your case, buddy," you mused, a smile growing on your lips despite the situation. and you could see his lips twitching too, fighting the urge to turn upwards

"how about i explain over gelato? there's a great place a few blocks from here," jason offered, holding his hand out to pull her to her feet.

you chewed your lip in contemplation before taking his hand, the words your mother told you before you left for your trip ringing in your ears

"i mean, romans are hot! nothing quite like an european romance, huh?!"

maybe she was smarter than you gave her credit for

so, jason got you gelato, begrudgingly let you pay as you made a compelling case of 'he saved your life and you owe him.'

and then he explained it all to you, shattering your world view.

"you ever hear of a guy named percy jackson?"

"wait- you mean the twelve year old who blew up like the st. louis arch and a bus or something while traveling across america?? of course i've heard about him, he's like a new york legend!!"

"he's a demigod too. greek, but still."

"no way. you're pulling my leg, right?"

jason shook his head at the girl, who burst into laughter, shaking in her seat

jason couldn't help himself, her laugh infectious and causing him to laugh lightly himself

he knew reyna would have his ass for being out so long, but he couldn't just leave a pretty girl like yourself alone

the sun had set and jason was slowly leading the pair towards new rome, the logical part of himself screaming to get home

now with the warm sun gone, you were starting to get cold

in your defense, you dressed for summer roman sun with your flowy sundress, not cold breezes

without a second thought, jason tugged his denim jacket off and set it on your shoulders

"oh, but you'll be cold-"

"you matter more," jason cut in, instantly, with a charming smile that left you weak in the knees.

you blushed, looking away.

"how about...i keep this and you get this," the girl mused, gesturing to the jacket before reaching up and taking her necklace off and settling it into jason's hand

he inspected the gold necklace, the heart locket charm feeling heavy with age in his hand

he looked up at her with a questioning look and she smiled at him with an all-knowing look in her eyes

"so we can find each other again. i'll have your very warm jacket and you have my necklace. if these fates you speak of are so kind, we'll meet again," she told him and jason laughed lightly, finding her belief loveable

"we'll meet again, jason grace, the kind son of jupiter. i'm sure of it," she added, cupping his face with one hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

jason blushed instantly before catching her hand as she tried to pull away, flipping it and pressing his lips to the back of her hand

"I'll wait then, y/n l/n, the darling daughter of your mother. until then," he bid his goodbyes, hearing the girl's laugh in his ears as she walked away.

he wrapped the necklace around his wrist, the chain just long enough to allow the charm to dangle without him being worried of it breaking.

reyna chewed him out, but he took it with a dopey smile

it all felt worth it to him, glancing down at his wrist and feeling that warm feeling of love

years later, jason would glance down at his wrist and feel nothing, riding in a bus to the grand canyon, a million miles away from the home he doesn't remember

and more importantly, a million miles away from a girl he doesn't remember.

he'd make his way to rome, discovering about his life as he went, seeing flashes of a girl in a sundress but nothing solid.

once he was back in new rome and still no memories came, jason took a walk around the city, huffing as he went

he wasn't sure what he did to deserve this, but he thought the fates cruel

"to pluto with them," he huffed as he plopped down on a bench, looking over at the city he was supposed to love but now he wasn't so sure.

"well, if it isn't jason grace, the lovely son of juipiter, if i recall correctly. i believe you have something of mine," a girl's voice called, her regal words barely hiding her excited tone as she halted to a stop and made her way towards jason's bench.

jason turned, inspecting the girl who wore a well loved denim jacket and kind smile

"i'm sorry, do I know you?"

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #pjo #pjo fandom #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo #percy jackon and the olympians #jason grace #jason grace x reader

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beskarandblasters · 4 months

Text

“Din”scord Kitten

Discord Kitten!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Main Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist

Author’s note: I don’t fucking know anymore okay 😭 The Discord Kitten!Din edit is by @pedgito!! Shout out to my boyfriend for taking a mirror selfie in the Mando helmet for this 💀

Summary: When bounty hunting doesn’t work out anymore Din has to turn to alternative methods to support himself.

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, this is a crack fic lmao, Discord/Venmo/Dr. Pepper existing in Star Wars, bad sexting, dick pics, masturbating, bad Star Wars puns, sex work, cummies needs its own warning 😭, pet names (cyar’ika), oral sex (M receiving), cum eating, no use of y/n

Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics Fic recs: @kelbellsficrecs

“I’m sorry, Mando. I’m fresh out of jobs today.”

Kriff, that’s the third day in a row that there’s been absolutely no jobs, no bounties to go after, nothing.

How is he supposed to repair the Razor Crest’s engine? How is he supposed to fix the broken pipe in the refresher? How is he supposed to feed himself?

“Thanks anyway, I guess,” Din mumbles. He sighs. It’s not really Karga’s fault that things are slow lately. He must be suffering, too.

Din wracks his brain, trying to think of different ways to earn credits. But his mind is blank.

He could get a job…? But then he shoots that idea down pretty quickly. How funny would it be if he just walked into a place of business and asked for a job, all decked out in beskar? He can’t make or sell anything. He doesn’t have any skills. His skill is bounty hunting and that’s about it.

Just as he’s about to exit through the cantina door, he hears a voice whisper, “Hey, Mando.”

He looks to his right and sees a man, one he’s never seen around here before. The man motions for Din to come closer. He’s skeptical but Din knows when and where to keep his guard up so he follows.

The man is shorter than Din, with shifty eyes and greasy hair matted down on his forehead. Before Din can ask what he wants the man speaks first.

“I heard about your little problem just now.”

“It’s none of your business,” Din says, starting to turn and walk away.

“What if I had a solution for you?” he says, stopping Din in his tracks.

“What is it?”

“You ever heard of Discord?”

“…No.”

“Do you have a data-pad?”

“…Yeah.”

“Download the app Discord.”

“What is it?”

“Like a chat room. Trust me, there are so many lonely housewives who have too many credits lyin’ around. You chat them up, maybe show em a little something something, minus the face of course. And you’re golden. Just make sure you download Venmo so they can wire you the credits.”

It sounds nefarious, taking advantage of lonely, vulnerable people. But he needs to earn some credits. Or else he’ll never take a bounty again, never use the refresher again, and never eat again. Not dramatic at all.

“Okay… Thanks,” he says awkwardly, slowly inching his way out of the cantina. He power walks to the Razor Crest, anxious to boot up his data pad and download this Discord thingy. He’s not the best with social interactions to begin with but surely being behind a screen will help… right?

As soon as he’s settled in his bunk he pulls out his data-pad, searching up Discord and Venmo and downloading them both. Once he opens Discord, he’s prompted to pick out a username and password. And he spends a bit too long deciding what his username will be. But ultimately he goes with BountyMan1 because BountyMan just had to be taken already. For a password, he chooses… password. Not much thought was put into that one.

Ah kriff, he needs to choose an icon. There’s no way someone will want to chat up a blank circle. For this one, he’s going to need the mirror in the refresher. He holds up his data pad in the mirror, taking an extremely blurry photo. He looks at it and decides it’ll do before retreating to his bunk again.

And now… it’s time to flirt with some lonely women. He has his location service activated so the profiles he’s seeing are from people on Nevarro, some of the people he recognizes and knows. Who would’ve thought?

But to be safe, he chooses a different planet instead. He doesn’t need anyone recognizing him in the streets as that weirdo on Discord. So he sets his location as Tatooine just to be safe.

He decides to slide into the direct messages of three profiles to start, to get some practice in. He messages the users; TatooineBaby, SoMuchSand47, and JabbaTheSlut. Each of their icons is just a picture of them on Tatooine. JabbaTheSlut’s icon is a little risqué, showing a bit of cleavage. He tries to ignore the way his cock twitches in his flight suit.

He types out a simple “Hey ;)” and waits for a response. To his delight, JabbaTheSlut responds first, saying; “Hey there handsome,” which Din finds extremely funny given that she can’t see his face. Not even just because of the helmet, but also the blurry as shit photo he used.

SoMuchSand47 blocks him and his ego is bruised a bit. But he reassures himself that there will be a few losses in this line of business. TatooineBaby responds with a simple “Hello!”

It’s a small victory but he’ll take it. He got two out of three women to respond to him. And now he’s about to enter the next phase; chatting them up.

“Thanks, sexy,” he responds to JabbaTheSlut, internally cringing at himself a bit.

As JabbaTheSlut is typing, he responds to TatooineBaby, taking a different approach this time.

“How are you doing, beautiful?” he types, feeling a little less cringe about this interaction.

Soon enough, he’s engaged in conversations with them both. And he already finds it overwhelming to maintain two at the same time. Maker, how is he going to handle any more?

The conversations are fine, nothing too abnormal. JabbaTheSlut is more flirty than Tatooine Baby is. He thinks it’ll probably be easier to squeeze credits out of her than the other one. And that’s when JabbaTheSlut takes the conversation to a sexual turn.

“You packing? ;),” she asks.

“Yes.”

“Care to show me?”

“Not for free. How much would you pay for a dick pic from a Mandalorian?

Kriff, what if she ends it here? What if she tells him to piss off and then blocks him?

“Fifty credits. What’s your Venmo?”

He can’t believe his eyes. Kriff, he needs to set up his Venmo. He still hasn’t done that. He closes out of Discord to open Venmo, hastily making an account with the same username as Discord. He links his Venmo to his account at the InterGalactic Banking Clan. Cool, that’s all set now. He messages JabbaTheSlut back with his Venmo handle and now it’s time for the… dick pic.

He’s never done this before. Of course, he hasn’t. He barely knew how to work the holo-pad when he first bought it and honestly, he still doesn’t completely understand how to use it now. He pulls out his cock, stroking it enough just to get it hard but it’s not working. He’s feeling the pressure. He has to think about something else, something to get him hot and bothered. His mind immediately goes to this hot woman he saw at a cantina on Naboo once. She had long green hair and beautiful eyes. And when she spoke with Din at the bar she placed a hand on his bicep– he thought he was going to melt right there and then.

Okay, this is working now. He’s getting hard. Alright, time to take the picture. He grabs his cock and strokes towards the base, pulling his foreskin down. He can’t decide whether or not to take a picture with the flash on or off so he does one of each. But ultimately he decides to send her the one with flash.

He checks his Venmo and sees she sent him the fifty credits. He can’t believe someone actually paid for this. He sends her the picture and anxiously awaits her response.

“Damn. It’s big. Not that I expected any less from a Mandalorian ;),” she says.

Alright, this was enough activity for him for one evening. He needs to rest and try not to feel shame about what he just did. He checks on the conversation with TatooineBaby and she never responded. Oh well, a win is a win. Maybe he won’t be so bad at this after all.

When he wakes up the next morning, there’s a slew of messages. There are some from JabbaTheSlut but there are also some messages from new people entirely. He has messages from JediPussyTrick, BeMyNaboo, SorganSlut69, and WhoreForMandalore. They’re from planets all over the galaxy. He must’ve changed his location range by accident.

All of the messages are various generis horny messages, except for one. There’s one from WhoreForMandalore that’s not sexual in nature but rather curious instead. He looks at their icon, a beautiful woman. He swears the background of the picture is Nevarro but it’s hard to tell from how small it is.

“Are you a real Mandalorian?” WhoreForMandalore’s message says… your message says.

He chooses to respond to you first.

“I am.”

“Hot.”

“Nice username.”

“Thanks! Bit of an inside joke between me and my friends.”

“What kind of joke?”

“You could say I have a fetish for them I guess.”

“Oh??”

“Mask kink goes hard.”

“I see…” he replies. He doesn’t really know what to say next but he’s intrigued by you. In the meantime, he checks out his other messages. JabbaTheSlut is asking about pricing for other stuff this time… videos of him masturbating. He supposes he could, but he’ll have to charge more.

“A hundred credits,” he types.

“You got yourself a deal baby,” she responds. And within an instant, there’s a notification from his Venmo, one hundred credits. Alright, it's time to do the deed. It’s hard to get hard on demand but he’ll have to get used to it if this is the life he wants to live.

His mind wanders, going back and forth about what to think of to get himself hard. His mind settles on you and your Discord icon. He can’t quite put his finger on why. Your picture wasn’t a sexual one, just a normal photo of you smiling with the sun beaming down on you. But then he thinks about what you said… mask kink.

Kriff, that gets him hard. He’s stroking himself mindlessly before realizing he has to film this, hastily opening his camera and pressing record. It all happens so fast– his hand wrapped around his cock, his pre-cum leaking from the head of his cock, the soft moans and groans he’s letting out. Before he even realizes it, he’s coming ropes of cum, moaning and cursing under his breath. He stops the video and takes a second to process what just happened. That’s the fastest he’s ever came. And all he did was think about you and your mask kink…

He has to message you again.

He sends the video of him jerking off to JabbaTheSlut and rushes back to his conversation with you.

“You ever been with Mandalorian?” he types.

While he anxiously awaits your response he checks his other messages. SorganSlut69 is asking what types of services he offers. He supposes he should make a price list now.

He types out:

15 credits for nude mirror pics (helmet stays on of course)

25 credits for bulge pics

50 credits for dick pics

100 credits for jerk off vids

+25 credits for pictures of the mess after

Venmo: BountyMan1

That seems reasonable, right? He sends the price list to SorganSlut69 and checks his other messages. He decides just to send his price list to everyone actually, figuring it would be easier that way. But he holds off on sending the price list to you for some reason. JabbaTheSlut immediately asks for an aftermath picture and sends twenty-five credits. He takes the picture before his cock goes fully soft and sends that over.

SorganSlut69 says, “Mirror picture first. I want to see what I’m working with.”

He sighs and gets up, cleaning up the mess of cum and slowly taking off his armor and flight suit. He realizes he has to be hard again for this picture so he strokes his cock once more, thinking of you…

Soon enough, he’s rock-hard and holds up his data-pad in front of the mirror, snapping a photo but waiting to send it until he receives the credits. SorganSlut69 sends the fifteen credits and he sends the picture, taking the time to transfer all of his new credits to his bank account before proceeding any further. He surely has enough to fix the pipe in the refresher now but he has to keep going if he’s going to repair the Razor Crest’s engine.

A notification from you pops up on his screen.

“Nope ;),” you respond. All the better for him.

I can do this, he tells himself.

Little does he know he’s great at this actually.

A few rotations have passed and even if that short amount of time he’s built up regulars; JabbaTheSlut, BeMyNaboo, JediPussyTrick, and SorganSlut69. And then there’s you. He hasn’t brought up his new line of work with you just yet. His conversations with you range from sexual topics to random casual stuff. He likes talking to you and maybe he doesn’t want to bring up what he does yet, fearing it may change your dynamic from a woman he’s talking with to one of his clients.

His regulars are… fine. The conversations there are purely transactional, never extending into real conversation. Except for SorganSlut69 who tries to converse with him. She’s extremely annoying but she tips on top of paying paying Din his normal rate. So he feels obligated to entertain her.

One afternoon you happen to ask him, “So you’re a bounty hunter?”

Kriff, he feels like he can’t lie to you for some reason. Even though it’s so easy to do that over a screen, but he just can’t bring himself to do it.

“I used to be,” he replies.

“What do you do now?” you ask.

“...I sell photos.”

“Photos? What kind?”

He sighs and figures it would be easier just to send you his price list. Maybe you’ll want something?

Your response is so cute to him for some reason.

“Would it be okay if I bought something?”

You’re like… asking for permission to use his services. He doesn’t quite get why but it’s adorable to him.

“Of course. What would to like?”

“Hmm, a bulge pic.”

Right after you send that he gets a notification from Venmo. And just when he thought you couldn’t get any cuter you do, putting a little note in the memo on the transaction.

“Thank you <3,” the note says.

He’s already hard because it’s you of course. He snaps a photo and sends it your way, extremely anxious for your response.

“Oh wow,” you respond with an emoji that has a shocked expression on its face.

“You like what you see?” he asks.

“I doooo,” you say.

“You want anything else?”

“Video?”

Maker, he’s excited to send you this video. He’s already hard and horny for you, thinking about what it would be like with you here, straddling him and soaking his cock. Kriff, he wants you bad.

He pulls out his cock, the tip glistening with the most pre-cum he’s ever seen. He begins recording, stroking his cock slowly before building up to a faster pace. He wishes he wasn’t about to cum in his hand, instead wishing he was coming on you, inside you- wherever you wanted him.

Before he knows it, he’s coming in his hand, letting out a deep and visceral moan, his imagination feeling almost real for a moment. He stops recording and sends you the video before checking to see if you even sent the credits first. You did, though, he just couldn’t recall during his state of bliss. The memo on the transaction is filled with a bunch of hearts of course. He’s got it bad for you.

A few weeks pass by and his business is going stronger than ever. The Razor Crest’s engine is repaired. The pipe in the refresher is fixed. And he’s got enough rations to last him for weeks. He has a few more regulars and SorganSlut69 is just as annoying. His conversations with you are deeper and more meaningful, despite you being one of his customers. He wonders if one day this will progress any further.

His questions are answered when you send him a message that says, “Have you thought about selling your cum?”

The question makes his brain short-circuit.

“No… Why?”

“I told my friends I was talking to a Mandalorian and they told me I need to try some of his cummies.”

“To do what with it?”

“I don’t know exactly… Play with it?”

That’s not.

“Okay… How do I get it to you?”

“Where are you located?”

“...Nevarro.”

“No way! Me, too.”

Kriff, he wasn’t imagining it. The background in your icon was actually Nevarro.

“Meet up at the marketplace?” he asks.

“Sure. How’s tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah! After sundown?”

“Sure!”

Krifffff, he’s nervous. How is he going to do this? It’s still pretty early in the day. He can’t imagine you want his hours-old cum in a jar.

Maybe he can… convince you to watch? Maybe.

Whatever, he’ll just find out when he sees you.

Nightfall comes around and Din is anxious to meet you in person, to hear what your voice sounds like, to see what you smell like– to see if you match the idea he has of you in his head.

He heads to the marketplace as darkness sweeps through the town, no one around except for nefarious characters. And Din doesn’t care about what those people think of him. He spots a figure in the center of the marketplace, facing away from him.

It has to be her, he thinks to himself.

He approaches slowly before softly calling out, “WhoreForMandalore?”

“Hi! You must be BountyMan1,” you say, turning around and greeting him with a smile. You immediately tell him your real name and he repeats it over and over in his head, deciding that it suits you.

“So… Do you have it?” you ask, complete with a suggestive smirk.

“Oh! I, uh, thought you might want it… fresh?” he sputters. He could have worded that better.

“Oh! Um-”

“You know… not stale.”

“Right! My place or yours?”

“I’ve got a cramped ship so maybe yours?”

“Sounds good!” you say cheerfully, leading the way to your house.

It’s a small house on the outskirts of town, the opposite side from where Din parks the Razor Crest. You let him inside, closing the door behind you before leading the way to your bedroom. Din takes a look at his surroundings, noticing little details about your living space as he walks through. You sure like Dr. Pepper… He can tell by all the cans on your coffee table, on the kitchen counter, and on your nightstand.

“Make yourself at home,” you say, gesturing to the bed.

He sits at the edge of the bed awkwardly, feeling incredibly nervous. Are you going to watch him do this? Kriff, that thought alone already has him hard.

“Where do you, uh, want it?” he says, glancing around the room, “In this?” he says, picking up an empty Dr. Pepper can.

“Hmm, I have a different idea,” you say suggestively, walking in front of him and kneeling on the floor.

“Oh? What are you-” he cuts himself off when his breath hitches at your touch. Your hand slides up his thigh, inching closer to his cock.

“Is this okay?” you ask sweetly, peering up at him.

“Y-Yes… More than okay,” he stutters.

“Alright,” you chuckle, undoing the flight of his flight suit. Never in a million cycles did Din think he’d be here in your bedroom, with you on your knees before him, taking his cock out. His brain short circuits and he realizes he should set down the Dr. Pepper can he’s still awkwardly holding. He sets it back down on your nightstand and shudders when your hand finally wraps around his cock. You start by going slow, licking his balls, and kissing the base of his shaft. Your lips and tongue move ever so slowly, teasing him relentlessly.

“Kriff, cyar’ika,” he moans, “Oh wait, do you know what that means?” he asks, voice jumping an octave as you lick one long, slow stripe from his base to his tip.

“You think WhoreForMandalore doesn’t know what cyar’ika means?” you tease.

“You’re right. I-” He’s cut off again when you swirl your tongue in between the head of his cock and his foreskin. He curses in Mando’a, his voice low and the words so jumbled you can barely make out what he said. Your hand wraps around the base as you finally take him in your mouth, fitting as much of his length as you can. Your head bobs up and down as your tongue is flat against the underside of his cock. His hands caress each side of your head, ever so lightly because he’s unsure if it’s okay or not. But when you moan at the feeling of his gloved hands enveloping your face he grips harder, using a little more force. You look up at him, directly into his visor and Din has to try his best not to bust right then and there, in love with the way you’re so eager to please him. Your other hand cups his balls as you suck him off faster, picking up the pace when you hear his moans grow stronger.

And then he cums, hot cum spilling down your throat all while you don’t break eye contact, swallowing every last drop. He lets out a deep, guttural moan from underneath his helmet, his mixture of pants and curse words filling your bedroom. And once he’s done coming, you don’t stop, prolonging his high even further.

But once he’s finally done and you take him out of your mouth, you look up at him, resting back on your heels.

“Was that okay?”

“That… was amazing, cyar’ika,” he pants, still in disbelief that that just happened. He just expected to jerk off into a Dr. Pepper can, not receive head from the most beautiful woman on Nevarro. He looks down at you as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and feels… nervous all of a sudden. He’s never done anything like that before… like ever.

He rises from the bed and dashes out of your room, all while you’re looking up at him in confusion.

“Bye. Thanks for everything. Don’t worry about paying me!” he calls out over his shoulder, leaving your house and swiftly heading back to the Crest.

He runs inside and sits in his bunk, panting from his little sprint and the evening’s activities. He wants to see you again. That is if you’ll still have him after.

His worries subside once he hears a noise from data-pad go off. He picks it up and reads a Discord notification from you.

“I had fun tonight. Until next time, Mando ;)”

Hopefully y’all caught the little Easter egg in the beginning but, the woman with long green hair and beautiful eyes is @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin 😍😏

@pedrostories

#what the fuck is this lol #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin smut #din djarin crack fic #pedrostories #the mandalorian fanfiction #star wars fanfiction

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nouearth · 10 months

Text

joy-cons.

pairing ; barry allen x gn!reader. fandom: ; dc, the flash (cw) genre: ; fluff. rating ; pg. note ; it's been a while since i've written, so pls spare me the pain! just wanted to write a little drabble to start off my blog!

it took a lot of convincing for you to play mario party with barry. forty pleases and multiple interrogations on why you didn’t want to play to be exact.

are you scared? afraid you’ll lose again? come on, babe. i’ll go easy on you!

it’s not that you hated the game or anything. they’ve become a party favorite for years (except for the tenth game, we don’t talk about you) and you’ve always enjoyed how those games made you feel afterwards. whether you lost or won, cheated or played fair; mario party made you (and everyone) laugh and bond together, and you’ll always credit those games for bringing you and your family closer.

with your boyfriend… not so much.

“barry… listen…” you respond with an insecure smile, hesitant whether you should really bring this up with your boyfriend right now or suck it up and play a round if it makes him happy.

“oh no… are you still mad that i stole all your stars the last time? listen, we can play the other games! i’m sure one of them have an option to turn it off or something…” barry playfully rambles, his signature smile that made you fall in love with him still remaining. “which really defeats the purpose of the game, though. because then it becomes all vanilla and if everyone is given a fair chance-“

“barry- no.” you cut him off with a small peck to his lips, a gesture you often do whenever he goes on a tangent.

“then what is it?” he repeats the same gesture back, following up by leaning his forehead on yours to gaze into your eyes a little closer, his hold on your hands tightening to keep your balance and his upright.

“well… uh… okay, you know that mini-game where you have to button-mash the hammer into the little sand cactus thingies?” you describe the mini-game that made your thumbs sore in aftermath. in all honesty, you were great at it. until barry came along.

“the pokeys? yeah! you know i got a world record on that?”

“uh-huh. i was right there.” you lead him to the couch where both you and barry sit, reaching over to grab the red and yellow joy-cons on the table. “less than a millisecond…” you mutter to yourself.

“what about it?”

“well…” you clear your throat and open your palm that’s been holding the red joy-con for barry to take. “you broke them again.”

“oh- i can just pay you back, you know that-“

“no… barry. that’s not the problem! i’ve been noticing and this always happens whenever we play those type of mini games where we have to break our thumbs until they’re beating red!”

“hey! we don’t have to play those! we can skip and… and we can-“ barry fumbles over his words and you can tell something’s making him nervous. it’s quite comical, this entire situation. you weren’t mad, sad, disappointed, but suspicious.

“barry, did you even look at the joy-con.” you shut your lip tight, almost wanting to laugh, but remain serious as your boyfriend looks like he’s in a state of panic.

“wha-“ barry averts his eyes down to his palm. a singular joy-con, the one that he always uses whenever you guys play together, except it looks a little different than usual. “it doesn’t look broken to me- OOOOOH MY GOD.”

barry’s eyes register to a burnt joy-con. well, the other half of it. one side still maintains its signature red, but barely. he looks up at you with wide eyes and an expression akin to edvard munch’s the scream painting.

“yeah- can you tell me how you managed to smoke literally half of the controller? and out of all the games, it’s mario party?!” you take the controller back from his hand and examine it closely. one of the buttons is also smashed in. no wonder he had to get a different controller mid-round.

“listen- i don’t know how that happened! i mean, i told you i’ve been lifting more recently-“ barry attempts to grab the controller back from you as if withholding it would take any more suspicion off of him. the struggle has him rolling on top of you while both you and barry’s arms extend further away from each other.

“oh my god, barry. are we seriously doing this right now-“ you breathe out from under him.

“and that world record?! i blink once and suddenly you win first place with less than a millisecond to your name?! i’m not even sure if it registered how fast you were, barry.” you struggle through your words as he pushes his weight on top of your lungs in a continuing attempt to retrieve the joy-con, but a sigh of relief exhales when you drop the controller and barry rolls off of you.

“i’m good at games! great at them! i thought we talked about this, y/n!” you take a minute to catch your breath and watch barry desperately retrieve the joy-con as if his life depended on it.

“barry, you literally only win when we play those mini games-“ something catches your eye when he loops his finger through the joy-con’s wrist strap and the edge of the controller knocks an object out from under the couch.

another red joy-con.

you take a closer look and in midst, catch a glimpse of barry’s ‘oh shit face.’ before he could swipe it back under the couch, you hop off the couch next to him and crouch down, taking a closer look.

It’s burnt, just like the one you confronted barry about it. you pick it up and examine it with your hands. same damage.

“I can explain-“ you cut him off when you begin pushing the couch away. “oh my god, y/n. no, no, no, no!” he dramatically pleas, but barry knows he’s in too deep as what has been his worst kept secret, is finally revealed.

a clutter of broken joy-cons, all red with similar burnt marks and smashed in buttons reveal before you. it must’ve been at least fifty controllers scattered in a pile. at least four thousand dollars’ worth of product. he’s broken a few joy-cons before, which is why you brought it up to him in the first place… but that’s only been four or five times. not over fifty?! you could tell barry was in desperate need in saving money too because you also saw some third-party brands that resembled the joy-cons.

“okay, so… you aren’t going to believe me… but i have these amazing superpow-“

“barry..? w-what the hell?!”

687 notes · View notes

sirfrogsworth · 5 months

Text

Froggie's (Almost) Very Productive Day

I try to fit as many out-and-about chores as possible into a single day so I only have one set of post-exertional malaise consequences instead of consequences after each day of doing a thing. So any time I decide to drive, I try to find several tasks to accomplish all at once.

My first stop was the Family Services Division in the hopes of getting some help with grocery bills. I am making ends meet, but it seems to be getting harder each month. And maybe I could have skipped my trip to Florida and saved that money, but if I don't do something drastic for my mental health, I fear this first holiday season without a parent could send me into the darkness.

I needed to do an interview to finish applying for SNAP. I wanted to do a phone interview, but the next appointment was in January. So I went to social services where they allow walk-in appointments. I waited in a tiny plastic chair for several hours until they called my name. She yelled out "Benjamin" because when most people see "Grelle" they aren't really sure how to say it. (Rhymes with belly.)

She started my interview and it was going swimmingly at first. But then she started asking questions about the house and my inheritance and my trust. I had no idea what to tell her. It feels like a mistake now, but I have had pretty much no involvement in that process. I have no idea how it works. And I started to panic because she was acting like I was committing fraud or something by not mentioning the trust. But the entire point of the trust was to protect my benefits. Nothing is mine. I own nothing. I have no access. But I had no idea how to explain that.

Maybe my lawyer can help me apply, but I did not want them investigating everything and screwing things up before we even have the estate through probate. We specifically hired a lawyer and went through this convoluted process to make sure everything was on the up and up. But she really made me feel like I was doing something wrong. And that made me panic, which probably made me look even more guilty of something. So I just canceled everything and left.

After a few hours in a crowded government office, I decided to head to a different crowded government office.

I know I didn't need it until 2025, but I decided to go ahead and get my Real ID thingie before my first flight. I was kind of hoping they'd retake my picture because my current driver's license is... well...

And I'm so glad they took my big terrible picture and made it into a smaller, more terrible picture.

People complain about the DMV, but the one near me runs like a machine. It was filled with people and I still only had a 10 minute wait time.

I'm starting to wonder if all of those 80s comedians who were all, "What's the deal with the DMV?" were exaggerating.

Good stuff, Jerry.

I head up to the counter and ask for a Real ID. She asks for two pieces of mail and my birth certificate.

And this disappointed me a little bit.

I did my research. I went to the Real ID website and used their interactive guide to figure out exactly which documents I would need. They gave me this entire checklist and I printed it out and went through all my records and mail trying to find everything.

I had to wait a week for my internet bill to come because it's the only thing I forgot to change to paperless. This took a lot of effort and I was ready to be validated for being so prepared.

And she asks for two pieces of mail.

Any mail.

So I was off to get new tires.

Driving around on 8 year old bald tires was giving me anxiety. I didn't have the money for new tires, but I remember the guy saying they had financing. Recently several of my past debts went past the statute of limitations, and so my credit score lifted itself out of the pits of "poor" and into the realm of "fair." So I decided to take a chance and apply for a Discount Tire credit card. It's a 6 month payment plan with no interest, so that didn't feel as predatory as all the credit card offers I get in the mail with 8000% interest.

We started going through the approval process and I was answering all of the questions and then I saw the name of the bank offering the credit. It was the same bank that tried to sue me and also the bank that can longer collect due to the statute. I was worried they put me on some sort of list and would deny me. But, to my surprise, they approved me instantly. And wouldn't you know it, they gave me almost exactly the amount needed for a new set of tires.

I'm hoping we'll be doing another auction of the house stuff soon, so I plan to pay off the card and then cancel it, but this was the only solution I could come up with to drive safely until then.

I was having a weird day where photos of crusty rich wide dudes followed me everywhere I went. Here is my good ol' boy governor at the entrance to social services.

And at the tire place, I noticed this fella...

Why does every rich CEO think they are a font of wisdom capable of creating compelling quotes?

Does he think no one has ever said "work hard" and "have fun"? And after he said this was he like...

"That's gold, put that in *every* store."

"Oh, and use that picture of me where it looks like a handsome gal just grabbed my undercarriage."

He probably thinks, "Well, no one has put these specific generic platitudes together into a single mega-platitude. I am a genius."

"Be honest, work hard, have fun, be grateful, pay it forward" sounds like he had a bunch of motivational posters on his wall and started reading them all at once.

Like, every line could have a picture of an eagle above it.

In any case, the guy at the tire store, Dakota, was really nice. He made the experience very low anxiety. And he really liked my Thor's Hammer keychain with built in fidget spinner.

He went around showing it to all his coworkers. "Look, it even spins!" And they were like, "Dude, where did you get that??" And I was like, "Amazon." Now I'm just imagining 10 dudes at a tire store all fidgeting their hammers.

As nice as he was, Dakota was still a salesman and had a job to do. He gave me two tire options and tried to upsell me. The cheapest tires had a "1" rating for winter. He said they get "super hard" in the cold... I tried not to giggle. But I explained I drive about twice a month and mostly to the grocery store. If it is a bad winter day, I'll just wait or get delivery. He understood and set me up with the cheaper tires.

He then checked out my car and noticed my tire pressure sensors were dying. I keep getting a warning light on my dash. Apparently they all have tiny batteries in them that die after 7 years. And you can't just replace the batteries so you have to install brand new sensors.

And this is where my social anxiety got me into trouble.

I don't actually need these sensors. They are usually inaccurate. I prefer to test my tires with an actual gauge. But I got so caught up in his sales pitch that I agreed to replace them... at $60 each. For that I could have gotten the fancier tires. I really don't care if an orange light shows up on my dash. And I looked up the price online and a pack of 4 is $30. Though that is without installation.

But still... I wasn't thinking and he was so nice that I was just like, "I want to please Dakota. Saying no might make Dakota sad." Dakota's job is selling me but that doesn't mean I have to buy anything. He would live if I had said "no thanks."

To make my blunder more blunderous, when they finished the tires he asked for my key fob. And it decided that was the time for the battery to die. And in order to reset the system for the new tire pressure sensors, you have to press two buttons on the fob for 7 seconds. Thankfully I had a spare fob at home, but if I want my fancy new $240 sensors to work, I have to return to Dakota and have him initialize them.

I really hope these are the Cadillac of sensors.

Or, like, the ones they use on Cadillacs?

They better be accurate, is what I'm saying.

I do feel safer with new tires. So I am glad I did that. And I gave them a good obligatory kick and felt the tread. They seem nice enough even if they get boners in the winter. It's crazy how bald my other tires were in comparison. Like, I can fit half my finger down into the tread on the new ones—which did not get them super hard.

The way I drive, I probably won't wear them down. They'll probably start to rot before I do.

Before I do, meaning before I wear them down.

Not before I rot.

I am not in a rotting competition with my tires.

I was then off to Sam's. I decided all of my hard work accomplishing 2 out of 3 goals deserved some sushi. So I grabbed some California Rolls and headed home. On my way out, a Hummer and a Porsche nearly collided in the parking lot. And they sort of got stuck facing each other. One of them needed to back up and they both signaled at each other like "You back up, I'm not backing up." And it was just this weird standoff between the two douchiest looking cars you could imagine.

I mean, you have to be a douche to drive a Hummer.

I still remember the mystery Hummer dialysis patient from when my dad was going 3 time per week. We could never figure out who owned the Hummer, but we knew it was not the underpaid nurses and techs. So it had to be one of the patients. And none of them seemed the type. We never solved that mystery.

That hummer started off a delightful safety yellow. (Elon would cry.)

They decided this wasn't extra enough... so they did this...

Katrina and I could never decide... are these cow spots or the world's least effective camoflauge?

There was another patient who drove this old beater...

And I loved seeing this car because we had the same one when I was a little kid. I'm afraid the aesthetics of the 1980s Caprice Classic did not stand the test of time, but it had great sentimental appeal for me.

But this maroon beast that squeaked and sputtered its way from here to there belonged to a very sweet older gentleman. Sometimes he and my dad would be dialysis buddies—sitting next to each other in the recliners. And the worst thing about dialysis was the boredom. All you have to do is watch broadcast TV with 4 channels.

All of the TVs require headphones. They give you your own set of super cheap headphones in the dialysis welcome bag. They were very uncomfortable so I ordered my dad better ones with cushioned ear cups.

His dialysis buddy noticed them and thought they looked nice. And then he revealed that his free headphones broke and he didn't know how to get new ones. He had been watching TV with no sound for weeks. So, I bought another pair with the soft ear cups and my dad gave them to his friend. And it just made me happy imagining the two of them watching The Price is Right in matching headphones.

I do have to make fun of this sweet old man a little bit. When I walked passed his car I noticed he implemented the world's most effective anti-theft device ever created.

That's right... The Club™.

If someone decides they have to have a 40 year old car with an engine that sounds like a dying hyena and a hubcap missing... they are out of luck.

But hey, you gotta protect what is important to you. And if I needed a getaway car and my choices were between his beater and the Cow Hummer, I'd take his ride for sure.

Well, I'd try... and then get arrested because The Club™ is undefeatable.

Do NOT look that up on YouTube. It's 100% true. (And the Lock Picking Lawyer doesn't count due to him being able to break into Fort Knox with a paperclip and then doing it again to make sure it isn't a fluke.)

The dialysis center is in the same complex as my local Tolerable Schnucks and I still see that maroon boat of a car every once in a while. I always smile whenever it is there because it lets me know he is hanging in there and hopefully still has sound for his TV.

Wow, I went off on a mega-tangent.

I didn't even finish talking about my day. Where was I? Oh, the douche standoff finally ended. The Porsche Douche capitulated and backed up. Probably due to the fact the Hummer Douche has 0 visibility behind him.

When I got home I started devouring my sushi. I finally heard back from my lawyer. He submitted the last of the evidence for my appeal. And I was finally able to confirm he got the records of my ECT treatments from 20 years ago. I worked so hard to get those. At first, they forgot to send all records before 2011. I had to call back and figure that out. They shipped them and they didn't arrive until a week before we had to file. Everything was so last minute and my anxiety has been... palpable. It felt like when I did my science fair project on Sunday night.

He's hoping to get a decision at the beginning of next year. He warned me that these appeals are usually rejected. And that the most effective method of approval was a hearing in front of an administrative law judge. But that could be delayed by up to a year. So I might need to figure out how to survive until 2025. As long as my brother does what he is legally required to do, I should be okay. But counting on that also gives me palpable anxiety.

And that was my day.

Every time I go out is always an adventure.

But remember...

BE NICE. EAT YOUR VEGGIES. PET CUTE DOGS. DREAM BIG. KEEP YOUR TIRES WARM... FOR REASONS. 5 LIFE LESSONS -Froggie, Mildly Famous Internet Person

#long post

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