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crazyexdirkfriend · 1 year

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hi tony. it's me borzoi. how's the fic going? btw i poured sand outside your door i hope you dont mind. anyways can you tell me all the reasons you like jake. i need to shoot soemoene down with appreciation for him.

hello hello today I wrote 500 words and then spent 2 hours researching Jung's theory of collective unconsciousness again for a throwaway line. So, productive! (sand encroaches further) I love Jake because he's my specialist boy and if everyone doesn't hype him up I'll burn this site to the ground

Nonexhaustive (bc I'm exhausted) Jake bits that I love: -He's a bitch. He's very smart at making everyone believe he's a little stupid. And usually this is so he has plausible deniability if anything is expected of him (because that's stressful and makes people hate him if he fails) but it's also so he has plausible deniability about being a bitch.

-His kooky vernacular. I despise Jake being reduced to "Britishisms" when he is oscillating wildly between modern slang, sounding like a 1930s socialite, on thesaurus dot com looking at synonyms, or just making stuff up. Sometimes his quirky phrasings are just little metaphors all in their own little bizarre way. His caboose is laughed straight off the tracks! Many have died in this tragic derailment.

-His whole fucked up fairytale gender fuckery princess archetype narrative shenanigans. I could say a lot about this but I spent so long in my thesis trying to put it into words and then Rads said dirk/jake was Shrek and everything just. Clicked. Yeah. They're Shrek. Enough said really

-He's so weird. His pile of guns. His slobberd on Neytiri poster. The fact that he would have most certainly kept Dirk's head and made a skull collection given half a chance.

-He's just genuinely trying but sometimes trying is so hard. It's very hard to get up and try to be the best version of yourself every day when the best version of yourself is the one that isn't you, the one that exists in someone else's fantasy. Dirk would know all about that.

-Jake's level of anxiety and specific derangements are so fun to investigate. Why is he like that. I love finding out. Kid burned his grandmother in the woods like.

-I also just find Jake's arc fascinating on a meta level. I'm not sure I necessarily agree at this moment in time that Jake's arc is played off as a joke or that Hussie hates Jake. He's just the narrative anti-darling. Reading Jake's parts can be extremely difficult, especially coming into the epilogues, but I think that's always what was building. Maybe it's not an old joke that's no longer funny, it's a scene that's meant to be narrated dismissively enough to make you uncomfortable.

(Side. My original thesis proposal (2017-2018) on Homestuck was about narrative manipulation and investigating whether Hussie's framing of Jake's arc is deliberate, not because he has a vendetta against a character he made up in the first place but because it's a metanarrative- audience participation. How horrific do the acts happening to Jake have to be before everyone stops laughing? How far can Jake be cosmically punished by a narrative before the audience stops thinking it's justified, penance for being "an asshole." (Answer: pretty far. Just take many reactions to the Derse Prison Scene, and a few more to boot about the epilogues) )

Rambling a little. But to reiterate my top point

-Jake is a bitch. Jake held a poll to name the tv show "Rumble in da Pumpkin Patch...or whatever stupid name Dirk would have come up with." And I love him dearly for it.

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self-ships-ahoy · 1 year

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🐹🎃🍯 - For whomever you’re feelin’ at the moment.

Rainbow Self Ship Meme

M i l e s E d g e w o r t h 👀👀👀

(tysm Tor for sending this in and giving me an opportunity to actually talk about my newest ship)

🐹 [HAMSTER]- Do you and your F/O have a pet? If not, what pet would you like to have with them, or why wouldn’t you want a pet at all?

We don't have one together, but a lot of people accept a headcanon given in an interview that he has a dog. Many people claim it's a borzoi, but others say it's too high maintenance for his lifestyle (and he's probably very picky about who would care for his dog in his absence); one post suggested...what was it, a grey hound? Well either way, I'm sure I'll love the dog. I also have a cat (I try to give most of my s/i's a cat) which, once she gets used to the dog smell, would like Miles a lot.

Somewhere along the line, maybe when we're living under the same roof, we could get a pet together (maybe a fish?), but it's a plan for the far future. I'm not even sure how our current pets would get along. :/ I have a meta on our pet preferences, but I'll save that for another day.

🎃 [PUMPKIN]- What’s your favorite holiday to celebrate with your F/O? Or, what’s their favorite holiday to celebrate with you?

Normally I'd say Christmas because it's mine, but...making that a happy time for him is a work in progress. At least he has friends (and me) now to help him through that time, but it's still not his favorite holiday. (For context, his father was murdered Christmas Eve when he was 9. It's a tragic case...) I gotta be honest, I think I'll have to get to know him more to find out what his favorite holiday with me could be. I may have read and studied his whole wiki, but as for inference, we still have a ways to go.

🍯 [HONEY]- What flavors or scents do you associate with your F/O? Or, what flavors/scents would they associate with you?

Nothing specific yet, but when I think of him, the scents I think of brewing tea, the smell of a clean suit, and flowers whose scents are very faint. You have to get very close to them to catch their smell.

For flavors: dark chocolate (esp. the kinds with liquid caramel or fruit filling), raspberry, chai tea, and....something less sweet, like a tart.

Hmm, I never think about the other way around with these memes... I think he would associate me with mint (the flavor and smell, due to the color of my coat - you'll see it eventually), the smell of wood cleaning solution since I dust my working/living area often, and maybe my favorite snacks like cheese puffs or pistachios.

#💗 turnabout romance #;answers #doruumon #self ship #self ship meme

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cvlhoun · 2 years

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será que GIANNA WOLF CALHOUN veio para a nossa oktoberfest? ela aparenta ter VINTE E UM anos e soube que atualmente é DESEMPREGADA. admito que existe uma semelhança estranha com EMILY ALYN LIND. mas sabe, quando conversamos, GIGI foi muito CARISMÁTICA, porém pareceu um pouco PESSIMISTA também. espero que ela aproveite nossa cidade enquanto mora em AURORA PALMS.

nome: gianna wolf calhoun apelidos: gigi, gi, gia local de nascimento: hansworth, wa data de nascimento: 07 de setembro de 2000 idade: 21 anos signo: virgem gênero: mulher cis orientação sexual: heterossexual ocupação: estudante de ciência biológicas e biomédicas, cantora qualidades: obstinada, responsável, gentil, confiante, inteligente defeitos: ansiosa, mimada, cabeça-dura, extremista, egocêntrica

the family ,

robert calhoun (avô paterno), amelia calhoun (avó paterna), natalie calhoun (vódrasta paterna), jude calhoun (pai, 37), love wolf (mãe), tba calhoun (irmão gêmeo), magnolia (pet, borzoi).

apesar de jude calhoun e love wolf serem seus pais, foi pelos avós paternos que gianna foi criada. então, desde que se entende por gente e tem memórias, é os avós que vê como reais pais. afinal, quando seus pais biológicos tiveram ela e seu irmão, eram apenas dois jovens inconsequentes, que certamente não tinham maturidade ou condições de criarem uma criança, quem dirá duas. apesar de sempre ter sido ensinada a ser compreensiva com esse fato, gianna sempre alimentou uma mágoa pela ausência dos pais em sua vida. afinal, via os pais cerca de uma vez por mês, e se divertiam na presença deles, mas ela nunca sentiu que eles soubessem de sua vida de verdade, ou que se interessassem em fazer parte o suficiente para ficar por dentro das trivialidades que, para uma criança, eram importantes, fazendo com que a pessoa mais próxima de gianna fosse seu irmão gêmeo, também sendo a única pessoa que ela sentia que realmente a entendia justamente por viver a exata mesma situação.

about her ,

entretanto, não poderia reclamar de boca cheia, pois os avós sempre fizeram de tudo por ela e o irmão, nunca deixando faltar nada, e garantindo a eles a melhor das educações. felizmente o dinheiro não era problema, e talvez até para suprir o buraco emocional criado pela ausência dos pais, os avós a mimaram bastante, sempre dando o que ela queria, em troca da garota se comportar bem. e isso jamais foi uma preocupação, pois além de ser um crânio na escola, gianna sempre se mostrou uma garota extremamente polida e educada, envolvida em causas sociais e com grandes sonhos de um dia se tornar médica. harvard, inclusive, era a única faculdade que ela aceitaria cursar, fazendo com que desde pequena fosse obstinada em cumprir tal meta.

não foi surpresa, então, quando a carta de aceitação da única universidade para a qual ela havia aplicado chegou. foi, entretanto, uma grande comemoração, e também uma validação pessoal para gianna. sua vida finalmente fazia sentido, e ela agora tinha objetivos ainda maiores de conquistar o mundo, quiçá descobrindo a cura para alguma doença até então terminal ou algo do tipo. por medicina ser uma pós graduação, entretanto, era no curso de ciências biológicas e biomédicas que ela se encontrava matriculada.

(tw: morte, estresse pós-traumático, crise de pânico)

tudo ia perfeitamente bem, até que gianna testemunhou a ocorrência de um acidente fatal envolvendo ninguém menos que sua melhor amiga. nos primeiros momentos, ficou apenas em choque, e surpreendeu a todos quando tentou seguir com sua vida normalmente. entretanto, aos poucos o choque foi passando e a ficha da realidade foi caindo, e isso somado à por conta da extensa carga horária de aulas e estudo, fora a rotina que incluía diversas atividades que um dia enfeitariam seu currículo, a fizeram quebrar. foi só quando gianna teve uma crise de pânico durante uma prova que finalmente deu a devida atenção ao problema, passando a frequentar a sala da psicóloga da instituição, e depois também um consultório psiquiátrico. com a verdadeira percepção da realidade gianna ruiu, e de repente, tudo o que ela sempre trabalhara para ser pareceu se tornar apenas um sonho tolo e tão distante, que ela não sabia nem se alcançaria, ou se teria a satisfação de seus esforços terem valido a pena quando o conquistasse.

como agora sua vida se focava ao redor do tratamentos, por indicação médica e da psicóloga gianna acabou voltando a morar com os avós na grande casa em aurora palms, que poderia dar-lhe o maior conforto possível, além de tirar um pouco gigi da rotina estressante, vez que as férias haviam chegado, além dela ter a recomendação médica para trancar o curso por pelo menos um ano até recuperar-se minimamente. sempre orgulhosa e decidida a enfrentar sozinha seus problemas - afinal, ela aceitar se abrir ao médico e à psicóloga já era uma grande avanço contra sua natureza -, gigi optara também por limitar o conhecimento acerca do ocorrido apenas ao irmão gêmeo e avós, pois não queria ter que lidar com as pessoas a tratando diferente por conta disso, afinal, já bastava para ela ter que aceitar precisar da ajuda externa que recebia. apesar de tentar sempre manter a aparência impecável - tanto estética quanto psicologicamente -, tendo sido sempre extremamente vaidosa, agora gianna pecava até mesmo ao passar os dias piores enfurnada em casa e trajada em seus pijamas.

o ocorrido fez com que gianna amadurecesse extremamente no curso de apenas alguns meses, e a fez colocar em perspectiva todos os seus objetivos e o que realmente importava em sua vida. tinha se dedicado a vida toda para uma conquista acadêmica e posteriormente profissional, mas agora não sabia nem se chegaria a viver para isso tornar-se realidade! também foi aí que encontrou o perdão em seu coração para a ausência dos pais, e certa gratidão por eles terem deixado a criação dos gêmeos nas mãos dos avós paternos ao invés de se aventurarem em algo para que claramente não estavam preparados. não poderia reclamar da vida que havia vivido com eles, afinal.

sob o pretexto de férias - e quiçá de ter um ano sabático -, há um mês tendo retornado a hansworth, a garota agora usufrui da pausa dada nos estudos para aproveitar a vida que nunca viveu: é presença certa em todas as festas; faz tudo o que dá na telha, especialmente tendo descoberto a sensação de vida que a adrenalina lhe dá; e também colocou mais dedicação em um hobbie antes esquecido, a música. atualmente ocupa parte de seus dias gravando covers de músicas e postando no youtube, tendo talento suficiente para alguns de seus vídeos terem viralizado. e, no mais, tem focado em viver apenas um dia de cada vez, como se fosse o seu último. porque, afinal, talvez seja.

wanted connections ,

* conexões riscadas já se encontram preenchidas

【 squad de melhores amigas 】gigi, ADALINE e muse b sempre foram extremamente próximas, e se algum dia não foram amigas, já nem se lembram mais. fazem tudo juntas e contam tudo uma para as outras, porque são seus porto-seguros.

【 má influência 】agora que voltou a hansworth, gigi quer aproveitar cada segundo da vida, especialmente provando o gostinho de adrenalina. e muse está lá justamente para dar esse empurrãozinho que falta nela e acompanhá-la nas aventuras.

【 o curioso 】muse começou a reparar a presença de gigi em várias festas, e sabendo que ela não costumava ser assim antes, resolveu se aproximar para desvendar o motivo por trás da abrupta mudança na personalidade da garota.

【 irreconhecível 】muse costumava ser amigx de gigi e se davam bem justamente por serem taxados sempre como os ‘certinhos’. entretanto, agora que gigi voltou a hansworth, muse mal consegue reconhecer a amiga, fazendo com que a relação se estremecesse um pouco.

【 big sister 】não tendo a mãe presente, gigi sempre sentiu falta de uma figura feminina mais velha para guiá-la, e foi em muse que ela encontrou uma espécie de irmã mais velha que não é de sangue, mas é de coração.

【 boas influências 】gigi não teve os pais muito presentes, e como os avós eram mais velhos o suficiente para não serem a referência que fazia os olhos da calhoun brilharem, foi em muse a, muse b e muse c que gigi realmente se inspirou durante sua vida.

【 babysitter 】gigi começou a cuidar das crianças no tempo livre, então é a quem muse recorre quando precisa de ajuda. CLEO;

【 famous 】gigi tem um canal no youtube onde posta cover de músicas, e muse a descobriu e é fã dela.

【 childhood sweetheart 】gigi e muse namoravam na infância, e com o crescimento individual de cada um viram que funcionavam melhor como amigos.

【 ex-namorado 】gigi e muse namoraram no ensino médio e acabaram rompendo depois que ela foi para harvard, porque ela disse que só teria tempo para focar nos estudos. fica a decidir se eles ainda tem sentimentos, se é algo unilateral ou mútuo, se são só amigos, e outras causas para o término.

【 crush 】gigi sente atração pelo rapaz, mas por conta de suas batalhas pessoais atuais, sem saber se está pronta para envolver-se romanticamente, prefere não arriscar além de alguns flertes, que já considera serem ousados demais para sua zona de conforto.

【 flirtationship 】a atração entre ambos é inegável, entretanto, parecem alimentarem-se de flertes recíprocos descompromissados.

【 friendzones 】gigi pode ou não saber dos sentimentos que muse nutre por ela, e pode ou não ter consciência de que o coloca na famosa friendzone.

【 te amodeio 】gigi e muse vivem se implicando, mas não passa de atração mútua enrustida, que nenhum dos dois parece disposto a assumir.

【 take you down 】gigi e muse nunca se deram bem, sempre disputando para verem quem era o melhor aluno e tirava as notas mais altas, e agora que gigi está de volta a hansworth, o ódio mútuo se reacendeu. tanto que muse não acredita nem um pouco na espontaneidade dessa mudança de personalidade de gigi e está dispostx a descobrir o real motivo. e, de quebra, também qualquer outro podre que puder sobre ela.

#♡ 『 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 ⸺ about 』

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tipsygnostalgy · 11 months

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HI ITS BORZOI I JUST FINISHED READING AND OH MY GOD I SWEAR I WAS SCREAAAMING!! GOD YOU DID WELL! You never touched on beauvoir and blood, but other than that this is FANTASTIC!! I love how you touched on the myth of sisyphus, the beauvoirs narrative, and MY BABY ULT JAKE OHH MY GOD. Hands over eyes going >v< !!! I read it once and then i read it TWICE because you put things so well and i tip my hat to both of you!!(?) This is fan fucking tastic!

DID YOU READ ALL OF IT:???? OVERNIGHT???

thats very insane of you and now im embarrassed i put the thing out on twitter instead of revising like a good essaywriter should.... ill be posting it on tumblr dot com after a couple of revisions for flow and coherency i want dirks end quote to hit like a brick to the head goddammit!!

whenever id lose my train of thought id just go through your homestuck meta pieces until something clicked in my head so yeah its a group effort

("we" are one person!! im just funky about how i approach my meta shit >:3)

#ask #the lovers

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difficulttoforgive · 4 years

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aleks has two big black borzoi and i don’t know what their names are yet but i love them

#i FORGOT that borzoi were literally wolf hunting dogs #they've also been around for a long time so it's reasonable for him to have them even in the canon timeline #ALEKSANDER / headcanons & meta.

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outofangband · 2 years

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Updated Maedhros in Himring Headcanons

Himring flora and fauna

so obligatory disclaimer I have WAY too many post Angband ideas and they can be found in the post Angband tag and my list of complex trauma after torture metas are in my masterlist

(I have to say this here otherwise I’ll get even more over excited and link like every relevant post which would keep us here awhile)

I realized while writing this that there could be so many other things I could link so I didn’t end up linking everything but if you need help finding anything please feel free to let me know or if you have more questions!

Maedhros is watchful and wary. So much so that Morgoth canonically could not send troops to attack his territories for some time (a beautifully twisted irony given that the torment that he suffered under Morgoth’s hand presumably played a large part in this wariness). He often inhabits his tower, using his time to sharpen skills he lost or was unable to practice during his captivity and studying maps and letters by his kin as well as the elves native to these lands and the Dwarves too.

He is careful not to fall asleep in the presence of others as his occasional bouts of non elven speech and movements tends to alarm.

He speaks far less casually than he did pre Angband

His lands are some of the only territories safe for survivors of Angband though in private he constantly doubts his ability to gauge whether someone is safe and the influence the Enemy potentially has over them. He has elaborate measures in place with his counselors regarding these residents, most of which is organized without the knowledge of anyone else.

He employs a small but dedicated border patrol who are equally skilled in tracking, analyzing the landscape and its creatures, and similar as they are in combat.

I headcanon he has a service dog, possibly something like a borzoi which are both built for the cold and also in real life often serve as service dogs to trauma survivors. The dog both provides tactile comfort during flashbacks and can do practical tasks such as fetching objects.

It’s extremely difficult for Maedhros to ask for help and he deals with a lot of shame and internalized ableism (I have a short piece of him learning to write again for example)

He also uses a cane for awhile and perhaps has braces on his legs.I think a lot about much it hurts Maedhros to walk at first, even after he’s left the healing quarters of Fingolfin’s camp, let alone run or fight, not just because the soles of his feet were occasionally whipped but because for so many years he had spent so little time walking freely, the muscles in his legs badly damaged from long periods of immobilization

Maedhros dislikes appearing at formal events. He prefers to strategize behind the scenes and occasionally attends smaller meetings with people like Fingolfin.

He is intensely conscious of how his knowledge of Angband is under scrutiny and of the rumors and speculation surrounding it so he prefers to pass any relevant information that could potentially help their efforts to the king or to others he trusts very much rather than publicly presenting it.This is both because he fears that the nature of some of his information might raise the eyebrows of some who wonder where exactly he gained this information and because of a more irrational fear that any information he gives will reveal the more private moments he doesn’t want others to know

The cold weather serves many advantages including letting himself to be as covered up as possible. He does not bring any of the healers who initially treated him to Himring, even those who might have been willing

Winters in Himring are long and cold. The period that most closely resembles a temperate climate’s summer is extremely lively as everyone rushes to finish the work that can’t be completed during the extended winter months.However there is a small celebration for the stirring, the season between winter and spring, those few weeks where the snow slowly melts back into the earth and green starts to appear there. A rare few days of peace (though the Lord of Himring and his counselors of course remain ever wary and watchful), flower crowns are often worn by the younger citizens, there is foraging and communal spaces where various dishes and drinks are made and distributed.

(post Angband and the effects of torture is one of my favorite topics to discuss! feel free to ask more questions!)

#the silmarillion #maedhros #Himring #musing and meta #post Angband #can reblog!

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ganymedesclock · 2 years

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whats your thoughts on final fantasy tactics advance? its a little controversial because a lot of people dislike the things it has to say about escapism, or the ways its handled, but from a gameplay perspective i LOVE the sheer variety it has and the way you can build a huge team with all sorts of nonhuman friends without being a tactical Extremefest?

I would actually say that Final Fantasy Tactics Advance is one of the first games in general and- along with Final Fantasy IV and V, one of the Deep, Formative JRPGs I ever played! I can only imagine the sheer number of hours I logged in it, and- yes, fight me internet (don't actually fight me we're allowed to have different opinions)- I LOVE its ostensibly controversial escapism message.

I think it's really, really interesting that at first blush Marche seems like just a generic protagonist, but you can realize all along, he's not actually boring- he's too accommodating. He lets Mewt and Ritz and Doned walk all over him because, as he finally points out to the latter, they just seem to need it more.

But ultimately, the biggest thing Marche seems to want, as revealed by the story, is to grow up. He faces the same crisis that the others are, but the thing he wants to do about it is become an adult himself. His fantasy, as given to him by the book, is not to have everything already like Mewt wants, or to just get to fight monsters and smash things like Ritz does, or for his congenital condition to just be gone so he doesn't have to think about it, like Doned does-

-Marche's fantasy starts him with nothing. He gets picked off the street by Montblanc (and I could write an entire meta post about the shadow characters / fantasy guides that each of the kids are given- Montblanc and Ezel for Marche, Shahra for Ritz, Babus and then Llednar for Mewt) and introduced to a horrible little struggling fixer-upper of a clan with all of five people.

And almost immediately, Marche starts organizing- starts driving. The Nice Guy inclination that he has towards his friends in the real world gets actual traction here- he learns to not just make calls to accommodate everyone's needs but to stand up for his personal objectives. At first, he has no confidence doing this! Montblanc is the one who has to nurse Marche's confidence and ambition like he's handfeeding a baby bird. But it's a strong contrast to how Babus, Shahra, and Remedi chief among them, put no pressure whatsoever on Mewt and Ritz (and we never see anybody around Doned to either facilitate his dream or erase it)

Marche's fantasy gives him Clan Borzoi- and then a corrupt government. This is a kid whose idealized dream is to change the world- which means that living in an idealized dream itself is anathema to him in the long run. He doesn't want to be a fantasy hero- he wants to be a real person, and sacrifice some of the perfect freedom of being totally disconnected and doing whatever you want.

And this is even a wish that the world of the dream accommodates! Because the fascinating thing about the Book- about Remedi- as an antagonist, is that she is an antagonist entirely without malice. She doesn't hate anything. Granted, she doesn't love or really think of anything either; she's in essence a doll for Mewt to hold- but it's a fascinating situation, to be set against a character who moves so much of the plot but is really an empty person entirely. Even the desires she acts on aren't really her own.

But part of that means... she accommodates Marche. Why do the Crystals exist? Why is the dream able to be destroyed at all? In the Exodus fight, Babus even points out that the weakened Totema nonetheless comes to Marche, which Marche had no power to do nor awareness of. The fantasy world deliberately generates weak points- and Montblanc is a manifestation of this world, he's the one who tells Marche about the crystals, just as a fun little pet theory he believes in- and Famfrit, the moogle-bound Totema (thus connected to Montblanc) spells out the purpose of the Crystals and what might happen when they're all destroyed suspiciously plainly.

Remedi knows Marche wants to destroy her. That he wants to escape Neverland. And she is the fulfiller of wishes. She will mount the ultimate wall for him to surpass.

This, I think, is what makes me disagree with more cynical takes that Marche selfishly forces all of his friends and brother to go home- or that he destroys a bunch of thinking beings. First, the book isn't burned, isn't desecrated or destroyed. As later games show us, the Grimoire is just fine. And as long as these creatures wish to remain, they will. Montblanc even appears in several other Final Fantasy games, usually accompanied by Clan Nutsy!

Second of all... is this really good for any of them?

What is Doned doing, with his condition out of the way? He's accomplished nothing. He has no friends. He doesn't even start a clan until relatively late in his confrontation with Marche. His mom isn't here, his brother is mad at him, and the most that he uses with his newfound freedom is to tattle to a bunch of other people to hurt Marche. It's purely reactionary. He talks repeatedly about how he can do ANYTHING here... but he's doing nothing. He's still, in essence, stuck in the position of a disabled person fantasizing about what he'd do without it, without acting on any of those things.

Cid? The moment Cid isn't functionally hypnotized into believing Remedi is really his dead wife, he leaves. He leaves, and has nothing to say to her. Because the Cid that Mewt actually wanted to pull out of his alcoholism and/or depression was a Cid who actually cared about things being right... a Cid truly worthy of being "judgemaster", and that Cid is not going to stand for what's happening. He's not going to sit in a doll world with a fake wife. Frankly, the fact that he doesn't lash out at Mewt at this point speaks incredibly to how much he loves the kid- because I'm pretty sure what I just described is the plot of a horror story. You've been playing house with an eldritch abomination pretending to be your wife.

Ritz? How come we barely hear anything about Clan Ritz? They're always just out there Busting Bad Guys. Clearly, they're powerful, they're tough... but Ritz never suggests we're competing with HER for territory when Clan Nutsy can sweep the whole map up. Her immense potential is going nowhere. And hell- when she finally explains her reasoning to Shahra, the friend who's been supportive to her the entire time... Shahra clearly thinks this is all a bit stupid. Ritz, when were you afraid of anything? Ritz, when were you afraid of being seen by others? Do you actually care what those clowns think? You're RITZ, dammit!

And Mewt... god. Poor Mewt. The kid completely shuts down by the very first cutscene. He's lost all ability to handle conflict whatsoever and does things like scream and shake Babus while yelling for mama, mama, mama, this isn't my mama, I need mama now and forever to never leave my side. He's become a corrupt prince loathed by his populace in his own fantasy because he's assumed the moral backbone of a wet noodle. And when he's put under pressure, rather than toughen up, Llednar comes out- Llednar who threatens to kill Cid, who beats Babus unconscious, who relishes viciously and intensely in destroying Marche so badly that he sabotages himself because he wants to use his nastiest attack. Llednar, who is a vehicle for Mewt's anger who looks suspiciously like Marche- as if Mewt is in essence saying that Marche should just be happy to be a puppet of Mewt's desires.

Yes, it's hard to tell these guys to go back to face their lives. Yes, this leads to heartbreaking conflict. But like... even the fantasy people who were tailored to be close to these guys... start telling them it's time to wake up. It's a nice dream. It's a beautiful dream. It's not very imposing. But Babus betrays Mewt because he's supposed to be Mewt's teacher and he realizes after a point that Mewt can't learn anything here. Shahra supports Ritz to the end, but after a point, her malcontent is obvious- she chips at Ritz consistently in private. Is this really what you want?

The story even- to me- makes it explicitly clear that if Doned returns to the real world, he's not giving up on his recovery or having a better life. If anything, staying in the fantasy would be- disabled people's happiness shouldn't be contingent on the notion that their disability has to magically disappear as literal wish fulfillment.

And it's very hard to read Cid's behavior- the only mature adult pulled into the dream- that he's disgusted by all of this. The moment he's awake he doesn't want to have anything to do with Remedi.

And that's kinda the key problem isn't it? Both Cid and Marche are essentially hostages. Nobody but Mewt really signed up to be here- he's the only one who still has the book and can choose to close it. Marche fights and argues, but in the end, both Mateus and Remedi make it very obvious that the only possible way to leave is actually if the others choose to end the dream. Yes, ostensibly destroying the Li-Grim will get rid of it, but... at the point Marche goes to do that, this forces him to confront Ritz; Doned and Cid are helping him, and the last person he has to reach is Mewt.

IMO, the message of the story isn't "give up on your dreams, fuck you, go back to your problems" but rather, a fairly reasonable one of if you turn your entire life into an escapism populated by fake people, you're not solving anything- a thing that the dream world characters even start to take up as a cause. Montblanc literally has a conversation with Marche early on where Marche says it'd be cool to be the strongest clan, and Montblanc basically calls him a liar to his face and encourages Marche to be honest about what he actually wants- which is to leave.

#Final Fantasy Tactics Advance #readmore #I cannot even imagine the hours I have logged into this game ok #also as an adult who has sometimes been 'the nice one' in friendships to a fault #I'm RATHER attached to Marche #it's genuinely anguish for him to argue with others; he waffles so much when Babus or Ritz yells at him #but he can't live here. none of them can actually live here. they're either falling apart or basically brainwashed #the grimoire world is... a beautiful story. but like any story. it actually needs to end #you need to progress forwards until the conclusion #that's why it gives Marche its own weak points; but it's also why it makes him fight for it #and gives the others a perfectly good opportunity to fight for it as well #and it's almost like the more they have to actually fight for what they believe in #the more that Marche's resolve increases #and the more the others' resolve weakens #Mewt creating Llednar is maybe the exception but like..... is Llednar really who Mewt wants to be?#Llednar threatens to KILL CID.

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borzoilover69 · 7 months

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two sets of guardians, one trailblazers for the future, the other pallbearers for the past.

light -> life, hope, drive

dark -> death, futileness, stagnancy.

while one set innovated for the future the other was stuck figuring out just how to survive the end.

#homestuck #hom3stuck #theres also shape language ARRGH #jake english #grandpa harley #bro strider #dirk strider #dave strider #alpha dave #alpha rose #rose lalonde #borzoi talks #borzoi meta #homestuck meta #something something pallbearers something something i cant get over alpha session death theme #anyways #borzoi art

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fuckimtryin-blog · 6 years

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you know that trope where the Chosen One has to go find their mentor, but their mentor is actually an old drunk (who is super traumatised but the narrative isn’t going to go into that much except for a lil bit of Manpain) and is all gruff and cynical and refuses to help

only the mentor is convinced by the pureness of the Chosen One’s heart into helping

well that

but

the prospective mentor (who is a lady because fuck the patriarchy women get to be unlikable bitter alcoholic old soldiers too) takes one look at the Chosen One

and goes Fuck No

and of course the Chosen One and his entourage goes 'oh she’s just bitter and disillusioned we’ll bring her round with the power of hope', because that’s how Chosen Ones work. only after the Chosen One makes his impassioned speech on how great the Good Old Days with the Wise and Benevolent Order of Knights keeping the kingdom Peaceful and Prosperous before they were purged by the Evil King

this bitter, lewd old alcoholic woman goes 'kid, sit the fuck down'

'i actually fought for those guys. i was one of their best soldiers/their original Chosen One. and do you know how old i was when they shoved me on a battlefield and forced me to fight and kill?'

’12. 12 years old'

and it turns out that the bitterness is, yeah, directed at the Evil King who killed all those people, but it’s mostly directed at the Wise and Benevolent Order. at the powerful and venerated adults who saw this kid bubbling over with magic, full of potential, and essentially turned her into a child soldier

and yeah, the evil must be defeated, she fucking gets that, but why the fuck should she do it?? has she not fought enough? has she not suffered enough? the amount of terrible things she’s seen and done, how often she looks back over the teachings of her masters and goes, yeah, that was some grooming, there was some creepy ass manipulative shit going on there, you do not say these things to A FUCKING CHILD (bc her training would have started in earnest at 7 FUCKING YEARS OF AGE) for any good reason

no, not even if lives are at stake. no, not even if she could save and help people

and it’s taken her so long to realise, actually no, that was so fucked up

and she doesn’t really have anyone to turn to because the people who won’t get her executed for being a Wise and Benevolent Knight are the people who would never, ever believe that the Wise and Benevolent Order could ever do something so wrong. or worse, would justify it to her and say the same goddamn shit she’s been trying to fight against for so

fucking

long

and so on one level she DOES NOT FUCKIGN APPRECIATE this snot nosed naive brat trying to explain to her how actually the group of people who ruined her life - and, lbr, basically handed the kingdom to the Evil King thanks to their own hubris and flawed thinking - are actually Noble and she must Fight In Their Name and Remember Who She Really Is

but on another

well

this is a kid

(gonna put the new chosen one at 16)

and she looks at this child, who has been so sheltered, filled to the brim with propaganda and righteous fury and sent into the fire by adults who should know so much better, sent to fight an enemy he cannot hope to defeat, sent into war and bloodshed and pain to give his life and his childhood for the cause, and she thinks

oh gods

not again

please dont make me see this again

(lets say that while he’s 16 at this point, the chosen one has been trained (read groomed) since he was very young. possibly he was Born Into A Bloodline or something which gave the order of Wise and Benevolent Knights In Hiding access to him at birth)

and she cant help but see him and see herself, so young and so sure and so very very manipulated, 13 years old and calling a storm down onto the battlefield and watching it tear people to shreds, blood streaming from her nose and screams ringing in her ears

and now she has to make a choice

because the Evil King is genuinely fucking evil and people are suffering and dying. and this boy could help. could stop it all. he’s strong, and capable, and powerful, and he’s been training all his life, and he is after all the Chosen One

but is it worth it? could it ever be right to buy back a kingdom with a child's soul? can she do it? can she see it done? and if she cant then what can she do?

and why

why

is it up to her?

~~~

basically this, if it ever is a thing, is gonna be a smush of various high fantasy things, with quite a lot of star wars thrown in, because i have been reading some excellent meta/aus of the pt and yes i am bitter

it’s gonna take all the tropes about Destiny and Wise and Benevolent Orders and Chosen Ones

and rip them the fuck apart

and it’s gonna talk about child soldiers and spiritual abuse and why you dont romanticise the good old days

and trauma and healing and not being able to heal because fuck it, you’re still so fucking angry and you have no one left to take it out on because everyone who hurt you is dead

'yeah, but, Wise Mentor, the Evil King isn’t!!'

not the point. the Evil King wasn’t the one who did this to her. the Evil King is evil, maybe, but fuck it at least he swishes around in big flowy robes and has a sinister castle and tortures people and shit, and everyone knows he’s an evil fuck

whereas no one ever seems to understand that the people who did this to her were defenders of justice, and protectors of the weak, and, here’s the kicker, genuinely thought they were doing the right thing. like the though 'we are grooming a child solider' just….didn’t occur. they were good, respected, venerated, and they turned her into a weapon and let her loose and she still wakes up to the smell of charred skin

a part of me kind of wants her to just be like, fuck it. you know what okay lets kill the Evil King

because having been raised to be a weapon her ability to ignore her conscience and just push the fuck through is, kind of terrifying. and while she hates what she’s doing, she can totally still do it. and she hates it and she hates herself and so she closes off the terrible pain and she continues the cycle and

and

the kid doesn’t die. the kid wins and assumes the throne to rule over the kingdom and restore it to peace and prosperity (and, of course, to reinstate the Wise and Benevolent Order)

to all intents and purposes he’s Victorious and Triumphant and ready to rebuild the kingdom, but she sees behind his eyes. she knows him because she was him, and she knows that she sold his soul to destiny to save a kingdom.

and that she hasn’t actually saved shit because she’s just done the same goddamn thing that was done to her, how could anything have really changed? and she can see it, as the fragments of the W&BO come out of hiding to rebuild the organisation in exactly the same fucking way, and the new king makes mistake after mistake because he’s spent his whole life being told The Old World Was Perfect And Shining And Everything Was Great. and of course no one stops him because Chosen One and because, hell, he’s young and he’s fucking everything up but at least there’s no more torture! total step up!

(as could probably be expected, a traumatised child king who doesn’t even know he’s traumatised is not the best or most stable of supreme rulers)

and eventually the mentor has to run away and drink herself to death, and hope that one day someone will be smarter and kinder and less fucked up that her can actually make things better. and really, why the hell was it her responsibility? why should she have to save a fucking kingdom, she can’t even save herself

and she certainly couldn’t save him

~~~

we could have her go

you know what? fuck this. fuck it. fuck destiny. fuck the prophecy. fuck everyone who has ever told you that you have no purpose but to fight for a cause, you were a fucking kid, you were never given a choice, this is Evil.

so were gonna take down the fucking king, but you are not gonna do it

and yes, i know you’re a big boy and you’ve been training all your life and you’re super fucking capable, that’s not the fucking point.

the point is u never should have been capable of this

so she gets a band together and starts sending out feelers to all the secret resistance groups, completely ignoring the council of W&BO survivors who thought child soldiers were totally the way to go on this, oh and by the way imma steal your Chosen One

because I need a figurehead behind which organises a full scale fucking rebellion

bc fuck The Chosen One Will Save Us, the people will fucking save themselves. and they will cast down the Evil President King and they will make their world a better place, and oh yeah, so a lot of people think that if the king/W&BO hadn’t done This This and This and maybe we’d had some goddamn democracy, the Evil King wouldn’t have won?

and obviously the kid hates her for stealing away his destiny and side-lining him from his own story, bt she just takes him aside and says, one day, you will understand. one day, you will thank me.

and then she oversees the building of a government and the foundation of a new democracy and the creation of a fairer and better state, and she makes a deposition before this new government and finally lays out exactly what happened to their little chosen one all those years ago. and some people are horrified and other people realise, oh god, this is horrifying, why did we never grok that this is horrifying, what the fucking fuck, Wise and Benevolent Order???

and then she leaves the kingdom, because she’s sensible enough to know that while she can fight a war with the best of them, she will never be near stable enough to make the sort of government that this land needs. besides, organisations of lots of people who think they’re doing the right thing make her twitchy and why the fuck do you think that is??

and so she goes and finds a nice cottage on the outskirts of a nice city and raises borzois and gets a shit ton of therapy

after about 5 years, the former Chosen One shows up, and she’s like, hang on fucko, you’re meant to be helping with the creation of a new state. and he goes, yeah, tried that, did all I could, now i…..sort of don’t know what to do?? and you’re the only person who might understand?? help?????

he doesn’t quite realise why he’s there, but a part of him recognises a kindred spirit and, well

he always imagined that after he won and defeated the evil king he would be, well. the Chosen One/ the hero. the saviour

but no, he was persuaded to be like a figurehead to organise the rebellion, and of course he now gets that that was pretty noble and shit only. he feels like he didn’t actually fulfil his destiny and now people are expecting him to do things he was never trained to do and now he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with the rest of his life which he still somehow has

(because, if he’s being totally honest, he fully expected to perform a Heroic Sacrifice and die honourably in battle, possibly while slaying the Evil King)

and the mentor puts him up in the barn and goes to see her therapist and does some talking and then looks around her little home and thinks. because before this there was the rebellion and before that there was a hovel in some dark and awful city and before that there was the war and before that there was the temple and before that she has no idea but it was Bad. and she thinks, what did I miss? and then she thinks, what can I still get out of the life I have left?

so they give the borzois to one of her neighbours (apart from one semi-puppy who Bonded with the Chosen One and who she couldn’t’ get rid of if she tried (she isn’t even trying)), then they fuck off, and have adventures, and meet people and do crazy stupid things and save lives and learn things about themselves and each other

and the mentor learns to reclaim her powers for herself, to change her body and her abilities into something that isn’t a weapon and isn’t a liability and isn’t a reminder of all that was done to her but is, instead, hers

and along the way the chosen one has a bit of a think, and maybe a bit of therapy too, and realises

wait

that was

a bit fucked up wasn’t it

the mentor puts her head on the table and sighs in exasperation and relief, and then laughs her fucking head off in sheer giddy pleasure that yes, most of her life was destroyed or wasted and she never got a chance to be who she wanted to be, but

but she’s saved a kingdom, on her own terms, and she has, unbelievably, managed to save this boy. and she is not watching her own life again. she is watching what should have happened to her

and yes it fucking Hurts sometimes that he gets to heal and everything and she can’t, because she is still a bit of a bitter old fuck, but still

still

that’s something, isn’t it

#fantasy #maybe scifi???#concept #writing #writeblr #my shit #i am bitter and angry and i will destroy all your tropes

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