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#just because a song is no longer my favorite doesnt mean it doesnt still hold the weight of all the feeling it once produced
queerdesire · 2 years
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Oh yes yes I should have tried harder because fuck 🥵
#mine#wasnt expecting that#i closed app so fucking fast lol#ima just do better mhmm#i think because i havent seen her face in a hot ass minute i forgot silly me#if i would of only continued to be good#i would say I can't believe I forgot how hot she is but like how can ine forget that lottle detail#i feel like i just placed my hand on a hot burner on purpose so its like i deserve the burn#see this is the real shit i should of spoke about in therapy like i did mention her both sessions actually but i didnt go into great detail#i guess that was my sign to delete that because it is only going to get worse come October 27th#might as well continue while im down#do you know how i missed you when i was with her? i didnt not at first then slowly i realized she wasnt you and not that im saying i want#you but a lot the shit i felt when i was with you is what i want#and i wonder if thats how you missed her when you were with me did you realize i wasn't her?#i think the main part of all of that the parts that still fuck me up are the not knowing#but i have accepted it but it still sucks some days more than others like rn im gonna be fucked up for a few days#how do i miss you? like a song that was my favorite like a song i haven't listened to in forever but yet when i heard the first note#all the lyrics come spilling from my mouth as if i heard it earlier that day and not years#just because a song is no longer my favorite doesnt mean it doesnt still hold the weight of all the feeling it once produced#a song can be a favorite without being a favorite something you hear and look back on with fond memories of a time that once was#so how do i miss you?#i miss you now & later and that is okay#do you put your hand on the burner too?#my likes are filled with butterflies and moths as if its hidden its gone#we both know if its hidden doesn't make it gone but it makes it barrable#i guess i definitely will look for a new therapist now lmao because i do think this is something i still need to get out obviously#wait wait wiat wiat waiiiit why did you unblock? when did you do that?#i like to talk to the void 😅 please dont send an email being mad
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sakura-hayashii · 2 months
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02.23.24 - 2:12 am
“you know… sometimes if i close my eyes and concentrate hard enough… i can still hear your voice calling out to me.” she starts. “please, dont–” she doesnt let him finish. “sometimes im glad that i remember the sound of your voice… it brings me comfort during the times i need it the most. but other than those times, i wish i never knew what the sound of your voice was to begin with. i still hear you calling my name… but in the the way you used to say it, the way that made me believe in love. but now every time i hear my name… my heart knows its no longer the same.” “i dont understand… why?” he says as he looks down. it was almost as if he was talking to himself. “because you rarely called me by my name. you would always call me love or baby… but rarely by my actual name. but when you called me by my name… you made me feel like i just won the lottery. you would shout my name out as you ran toward me after not seeing each other in a while… each time it would make my heart burst with joy. you would chant my name out loud for all to hear when you were proud of me… each time my heart would burst with joy. you would gasp my name when we were laughing so hard we were crying and could no longer breathe… each time my heart would burst with joy. you would repeat my name in a sing-song voice when you had good news to tell me… each time my heart would burst with joy. but my favorite time you would say my name was when i pretended to be asleep. you would tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss my forehead… then whisper “i love you sakura,” and my heart would burst with joy… each and every time.” she forces out. she swallows the lump in her throat as she holds herself back from choking on her tears. “so what happens when i say your name now… sakura?” he murmurs while avoiding eye contact. but she could already see it in his eyes, the desperation of trying to hold in his tears. she smiles a little to herself, knowing that the things she was sharing were getting through to him. “my heart just burst… but no longer with joy–” “so now… whenever i hear my name, it no longer holds the same meaning that it once did. its the name of someone who no longer exists… its the name of someone who was happily in love. so now… all i hear when i hear my name is you saying “i cant do this any more sakura.” but instead of my heart bursting, my heart breaks a little more and more each time.” “im sorry sakura.” he looks up at her with tears in his eyes. she nods her head and turns away before he can read her eyes.
“yeah… that one too… i hear that sometimes, too.” she says then walks away. he cant see her face, but he can hear it in her voice. the sound of her tears. but the loudest sound he could hear was the sound of her heart breaking as it shattered in her chest all over again.
- S.H. // things ive never said #9 (via 2amthoughts)
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latenightdecaf · 3 years
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Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability
part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist
previous entry here
Yoongi x reader
Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)
Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi
slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life
series of drabbles/one shots
warnings: alcohol consumption
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a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈
word count: 2,546
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Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.
“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”
“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”
He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.
“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”
He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.
He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.
“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.
“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”
He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.
“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.
“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.
One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.
All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.
“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.
“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.
You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”
He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.
This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.
You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”
“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.
“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”
“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”
He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.
“So you’re just co-workers now?”
“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”
“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.
Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.
“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’
And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.
“We’ve been together for a while”
“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.
“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.
“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.
“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”
Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.
“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”
“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.
He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.
“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”
With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”
“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.
“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.
“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.
“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”
‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself
“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”
“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”
You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.
“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.
And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.
Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.
“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”
“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.
“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”
You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.
“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.
Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.
You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.
He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.
“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”
He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.
“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”
And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”
He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.
“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.
“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.
“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.
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Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.
“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”
Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.
You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.
But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.
Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.
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“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.
The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.
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With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.
“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.
“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”
“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.
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moodboard sr: x
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ventura-starlight · 3 years
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TSUKI AS YOUR BOYFRIEND
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hellooo to all the beauties on this hell app 😻 I've been having troubles with the app and website so if I'm not posting as often that probably why :'> anyways I have my masterlist updated [except for this post] and hopefully can create a regular schedule of writings soon :) this headcannon is pretty general, just cute things he would do for his partner and all that relationship stuff. anyways i love ya <3
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->TSUKISHIMA hates to admit it but he does care about you and truly appreciates you
->there are a lot of headcannons I see that are him being really distant with his partner and I just don't buy it
->he might be pretty emotionally closed off, but he is going to try as much as he can to open up to you, it's just a matter of being patient
->tsuki isn't big on PDA by any means, but if you are insecure and need that reassurance he is obviously going to hold your hand, hug you, and do whatever you need him to
->now with saying that he still teases you. he would never talk about your appearance or anything like that [cause he thinks you are stunning] because he thinks that's not okay :)
->if you can snap back tho? man might just profess his love for you idc 😩 like he thinks it's so fun
->the love language he gives is for sure acts of service.
->he knows he isn't the best at verbally saying he loves you so he tries to show that he cares by reminding you of little things like tests
->he sends the most encouraging texts when you are nervous about saying something! they will be something along the lines of
-> hey nerd 🙄 I know you are nervous about [insert thing] but I know you will do great. as long as you try your best I will be proud of you. you got this <3
->the love language he likes to recieve is either quality time or words of affirmation
->tsukishima isn't the most confident person in the world and if you say that you are proud of him? man his heart is gonna explode
->he also just likes spending time with you. it could be listening to music, reading, or simply just holding one another and looking out of the window
->I think it's cause he just craves that domesticity and wants to enjoy his time with you at all times
->he also is like so cuddly?? like?? a lot??
->in my personal opinion long and lanky people make amazing cuddle buddies and tsukki loves to hold you/you hold him
->it makes him feel so wanted and appreciated please do that for him 😭
->he would call you nicknames like nerd, dummy, or some shortened version of your name [if possible].
->on occasions that he feels more romantic 😻 he calls you babe, honey, but his favorite to call you is angel
->he isn't picky on nicknames or anything. if you literally just call him kei his heart nearly explodes
->he likes tsuki, babe, and pretty much the boring nicknames 😭
[i want to call him sweet boy but oh well 🙄🤚]
->he doesnt remember everything but is super perceptive to everything so if he knows its important, he is gonna remember
->he brings you snacks for after practice since you normally wait for him
->if he made a playlist for you, it would just be songs that when he hears, he thinks of you. if I had to pick a few.....
feelings are fatal by mxmtoon
I choose you by Adam Melchor
lonely eyes by The Front Bottoms
and Art of Understanding by Coyote Theory
->in conclusion I'm in love with him and if tsukishima kei is reading this please hit me up cause I'm single 😌
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I hope yall enjoyed this, it took longer to write than I thought it would 😭😭 @sunnymfskies
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justlightlysedated · 3 years
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20 Questions
20 questions, writer's edition, I was tagged by @lambourngb 😊❤❤
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
71! 70 for roswell and one for vagrant queen
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
468, 583!!
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
not entirely sure tbh, but let's count now:
timkon, bandom, glee, specifically pukurt, but some other ships too, merlin, doctor who, torchwood, teen wolf, agents of shield, runaways, the old guard, vagrant queen, and obviously, roswell new mexico
i think there might be more, but i don’t remember rn
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
the cost of greatness, which i cowrote with marlo
a cure i know that soothes the soul (does so impossibly), the first pwp i wrote for this fandom lol
the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger, which i wrote for marlo
for better or for worse (til death do us part), which i also cowrote with marlo lol
it might be your wound but they’re my sutures, which i also wrote for marlo
so the pattern im sensing here is that my most popular fics were written with/for marlo which sounds about right lol
5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
i am not sure tbh, i write some pretty angsty one shots and longer fics, but i TRY to at least give a slightly hopeful ending, tho now that i’m thinking about it, i think the angstiest thing i’ve written was that prompt fill based on the song, for island fires and family, i remember SOBBING the entire time that i wrote it (there is miluca in that one), but ALSO there is the fic i wrote in reaction to the season one finale, which also made me cry, which was called, we both know how this story ends
6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
once again i’m not sure, like i said before, i try to give my fics hopeful endings if they’re really angsty, and i love me some hurt/comfort, but i’m not entirely known for writing happy, fluffy fics, tho i do TRY sometimes for certain people
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
yes!! i do love me some crossovers, and i guess i would have to say the malex, sort of doctor who au, i’m technically still writing for tove
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes??? but i’m not sure if i could classify it, like i’ll write pretty much anything within reason and if it doesn’t squick me out
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
okay, so like don’t hate me, but no, i rarely, if ever respond to comments, i just don’t know what to say at all, like i’m the type of person that really wants every single message to be unique and special, but there are only so many ways to thank someone for reading your fic, so i just tend to post things and then thank everyone for reading afterwards, if there is someone that shows up often on my notifications, or if someone asks me a specific question pertaining to the story, then i will answer, i also answer back if i wrote the fic for someone and they left a comment, and if i’m sent an ask on here about something that i wrote, but i am simultaneously the world's most shy and confident person ever, when it comes to my writing, so i’m so sorry
this doesnt mean that i dont appreciate every comment that i get because i really do, im just super shy and awkward and i may write good-ish, but i do NOT have the same way with words in person
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not really?? if i have i don’t remember it, usually i’m the one who talks the worse about my own writing
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, the only kurtbastian fic i’ve ever written was translated into russian
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yep!! as y’all probably saw from my top five fics up there somewhere, marlo @bestillmyslashyheart is basically my fic writing soulmate, we just really click when it comes to writing
14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?
atm it’s malex, which is more than obvious, BUT before they hijacked my brain and made their home within my neurons, it was skimmons!!! i wrote fic for them for YEARS, even after i stopped watching aos
15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i’m just gonna talk about fics that i’ve posted and haven’t updated and not any of the hundreds of wips that have never seen the light of day, my original witch au tbh, i just, roswell made maria and isobel somehow related, and just made me really uncomfortable with the ship, which is the main reason that i’m not gonna finish the fic if i’m being perfectly honest, there is ALSO that au i had where michael’s daughter from the future comes back to the past and she had been raised by alex, because of reasons that are petty, probably my space opera au as well, and only because i just want to write other things MORE
16. What are your writing strengths?
i think i’m good at describing things, especially kisses, i LOVE writing kisses, it’s one of my favorite things, that and my fight scenes are two of the things i pride myself the most on
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
dialogue, sometimes i feel the characters are ridiculously out of character, but then i don’t care because sometimes in canon characters are also ridiculously out of characters, also describing things, because sometimes i just feel like scenes don’t flow right, i am definitely a comma whore, and use dashes and hyphens in places they definitely shouldn’t be used, run-on sentences are my best friends, also english isn't my first language, so, sometimes the way i phrase things just come out wrong
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
tbh completely honest, i follow the nora sakavic method where you just write the dialogue in english like, “hey there love,” they said in perfect french, and i only break this rule if i actually know the language because just translating straight from english always makes things sound stilted and weird
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
dc comics, i wrote several timkon fics which i posted on livejournal
20. What's your favourite fic you've written?
oh, i know that love is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the end (still i loved it), no specific reason why, i just love it with my entire heart!!
and that's it!! im not gonna tag anyone cause I saw that most ppl were already tagged, but if you want to do this just say that I tagged you!!
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florvinhara · 3 years
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my detectives (part 1)
kjahfjhsj i can have a little infodumping... as a treat... anyway this was originally gonna be 1 post but then i got carried away so part 1 in the series of me ranting abt my detectives!
Kira Isabella Song
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Romances N, F, or M
Age: 25 at the start of book 1, currently 26
Birthday: February 7
Star sign: Aquarius sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising
Height: 5’7”
Hair: Short, ash blonde, a little longer than chin length
Eyes: dark brown
Race/ethnicity: Korean-American
Other appearance details: Several beauty marks on face and body. a few subtle scars on face/legs from falling out of trees, etc. fingers are callused from band practice and left hand fingers are a little crooked from being broken.
Languages: English, Spanish, a few basic phrases in some other languages
Stats:
Charming/Intimidating
Impulsive/Cautious
Sarcastic/Genuine
Friendly/Stoic
Easygoing/Stubborn
Heart/Mind (equal)
Optimist/Pessimist
Team player/Independent
Primary skills: Science & combat
Strengths: Trustworthy, strong, courageous, calm under pressure, compassionate, thorough, clever, good intuition, self-sufficient, sure of herself
Weaknesses: Petty, caustic, distrustful, secretive, lackadaisical, insubordinate, emotionally unintelligent, can be disdainful, uncommunicative, contrary
Personal:
overall body language is casual and unbothered, lowkey her posture is kind of yikes RIP but she has a very fluid way of moving
her voice is smooth and somewhat low in pitch, very even in tone
Loud and/or jumbled sounds sometimes overwhelm her; she usually has noise cancelling headphones with her just in case
Rebellious as a teenager; she started skipping school and getting into fights, did some graffiti and one time she stole a street sign that she may or may not still have
When she wasn’t breaking rules, etc. she was taking boxing lessons, chilling in the library, going on runs, or playing bass guitar in her band
Wanted to get out of Wayhaven as soon as possible after college but was arrested after she came back because she was selling fake IDs and stole a car; absolutely did not want to be law enforcement but Rebecca and the captain essentially made her
The deal was that she would work at the station for 5 years and if she did well/stayed out of trouble she could then quit- she's 3 years into it
deep down if she wasnt a detective she would want to be a paramedic
She shares a lot of mannerisms with Rebecca and they’re way more similar than she’d like to admit
Birds FREAK her out seriously; she’ll deny that she’s afraid of them but she’ll cross the street to get away from them, also hates crowded places and deep water
Scary resting face and has a habit of just... eerily staring at people who are bothering her until they get spooked, but she's not actually that angry or grouchy, she's really just Vibing u know? she's not gonna correct anyone's impression though or they might start like... Talking to her :/
Loves any book/movie/show with a secret society or spy element and stories about a Hero and their Journey, also loves angsty philosophy books; her favorite movies are cheesy but feel-good (The Mummy, Pacific Rim, anything with big CGI monsters)
Doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth but would kill someone for strong coffee; if she’s really tired you can catch her drinking it cold straight from the pot with a straw
Emo/pop punk teen and she definitely cried when MCR broke up, she also listens to a lot of Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Dottie West, Patsy Cline, etc
She’s been drawing since she was a kid- mainly works with charcoal and sometimes pastels. her sketchbooks are like her diaries and she’s never shown them to Anyone Ever
In her spare time, she still plays some guitar, draws, or reads; her library is extensive because she keeps every book she’s ever read or intends to read (it’s one of the few things she’ll drop real money on)
Very tactile person and fussy about textures, she prefers ultra soft blankets/pillows and her bed is basically a nest
Practical, efficient, frugal- she doesn’t necessarily find joy in cooking or anything but she can do it well enough, quick showers, uses cheap soap/shampoo, cuts her own hair
Her hands get super dry/chapped in the winter and it hurts very much :(
Never yells; when she gets angry she’s very cold & will Not hold back; every word is designed to hurt bc she’s purposefully poking at things she knows are sore spots
At the start of the books, she’s kind of... sleepwalking through life? like, she was in a not-great place mentally for most of her teens and didn’t really have a plan for the future but law enforcement was definitely not it? She isn’t feeling super passionate about what she’s doing and it kind of sucks to not have joy in purpose :( luckily that’s changing and is gonna be a significant part of her journey through the series!
Her apartment is cluttered but clean and she knows where everything is, if someone moved one of her things she would not be able to find it and it would bother her until she located it
She’s not stubborn exactly? Like she’ll concede an argument if it’s not super important to her and has no problem with losing or backing down in many cases; she’s pretty open minded in that respect, but if something is central to her values then she will Die before she backs down
On that note she’s overall a very logical person but when it comes down to it she'll follow her heart/first instinct
Does not care about rules or procedures At All, she'll follow them if it suits her end goal but otherwise... nope
Lowkey she… did not care about the reveal? it was a surprise but not her first priority in the moment- she kind of already thought UB was sketchy and didn’t trust them, so mainly she was pissed off that Rebecca had sent them to babysit her instead of actually help solve the murders
Speaking of Rebecca their relationship is kind of yikes. Kira isn’t exactly mad that Rebecca was gone so often, but she does think that she kind of forfeited her parenting rights and was annoyed that Rebecca was interfering with her life; first by getting her on the force and then by dropping UB on her. So now it’s Very Awkward between them because Kira doesn’t want to be like… mean but honestly what is there to say?? They’re trying but neither of them like to share personal information so it’s rough
On the subject of sharing, she just… genuinely doesn’t like to open up. Like, it doesn’t come naturally and in her mind it’s just… nobody else’s business what she’s feeling/what’s going on in her life
Genuinely does not realize that people care about her unless they openly tell her lmao... sad hours but at this point in the story she honestly doesnt think that any of UB cares abt her beyond their job besides the one she's dating :(
"Everyone should be allowed to feel things and rely on the support of the people around them, their emotions are Valid. not me though, this is my personal problem and as such its dumb so i have to get over it alone"
Her primary love language is acts of service, she wants the people she loves to have everything they might need; she’s Soft and really just wants snuggles but also she does not want to address it out loud
Her way of asking for affection is to just... stand/sit there and occasionally glance at the person... hovers like a sad ghost until she gets a hug... literally like 🥺👉👈 sjdhdkn Clown girl
She’s sarcastic and makes a lot of snarky comments, but generally she’s pretty honest unless she doesn’t want to talk about something (in which case she’ll brush it off and deflect or change subjects) which is why it annoys her so much when people are willfully dishonest or conniving
Pretty adaptable and capable of rolling with the punches but she generally dislikes surprises and being the center of attention
genuinely she's pretty chill! and a Huge enabler of chaos as well, like unless it's specifically bothering her she's gonna let it happen and mostly she thinks it's pretty funny to watch from the sidelines
in short she's basically like a feral cat who stares suspiciously at everyone from a distance until they successfully pspspsps their way into her heart and then she would die for them <3 but if she's mad she will make direct eye contact while shoving glasses off the counter
ahdgsksg ok last one i swear she Cannot Sit Properly, always has to be some flavor of lounging or leaning or sitting twisted into a pretzel
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i-fucking-hate-ppl · 4 years
Note
Headcanons for Alastor, who heard the singing of his crush, and this is a song about nonreciprocal love (and he doesn't understand that the song is about him) My apologies for my terrible English! Love you 💜
The song used in this one shot was the closest I could find to a unrequited love song, I hope you dont mind! Also this was soooo much longer than I intended, but the idea just kept flowing so I kept going with it. Anyway, enjoy!
Alastor could hear faint, gentle music playing from somewhere among the halls of the hotel.
Of course, his curiosity gripped him tight and he couldn't find it in him to let it go. So he followed the soft music that drifted in the dark, empty halls until he made it to your door.
He found it was cracked a few inches and peaked inside a little, just to see what you were up to.
He found you setting on your bed; wearing your favorite red shorts and a black shirt that had "fuck off" written in red along the top along with fuzzy red socks on your little feet (well little to him).
You were brushing/combing out your hair (or wig if you're bald for whatever reason).
He was going to continue on with his day like nothing happened, until you began to hum, he could tell you were about to sing.
He couldn't move away from your door, you'ee voice was so... beautiful and he hadn't even heard you sing yet! Although he could hear the sad undertone to the hum.
He felt his heart clench. What could make you so sad? Was it the song? Was it something someone had said? If so he would have a busy afternoon...
He decided to listen to what you were about to sing, hoping it'd give him some kind of clue.
(In case you want to listen to it, it's called Shiver by Coldplay, I love Coldplay)
"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention... do you?
I know you don't listen to me, 'cause you say you see straight through me... don't you?~"
He watched you with intent eyes as you got up to set your brush/comb on your vanity. He frowned as he watched you sit in the chair and give your self a sad look.
"And on and on from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side. Just you try and stop me. I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care.~"
Alastor felt like he was going to be sick. Not only were you sad, but it was because someone had broken your heart.
You fell in love with someone, and they didn't reciprocate your feelings, they possible didn't even notice you.
But how could they not? You were a so beautiful/handsome. You were practically a god/goddess.
Although the worst part, was probably the fact that you didn't love him.
"Ooooh.... Did you want me to change? Well I changed for good. And I want you to know, that you'll always get your way.~"
"I wanted to say... Don't you shiver~"
"Shiver... shiver~"
"I'll always be waiting for you.~"
You leaned back in the chair, look up at the ceiling with glossy eyes.
"So you know how much I need ya. But you never even see me... do you? ...And is this my final chance of getting you?~"
You rest your forearm across your eyes to hide your tears eventhough you thought no one was there. But Alastor was, and he already saw them.
He looked down, feeling bad he couldn't really do anything to help you. Although he was determined to speak with you after you were done singing, in hopes to comfort you.
"And on and on from the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side. Just you try and stop me. I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care... if you care. Oooh~"
"Did you want me to change? Well I changed for good. And I want you to know, that you'll always get your way.~"
"And I wanted to say... Don't you shiver.~"
"Don't you shiver.~"
"Shiver~"
"I'll always be waiting for you...~"
"Yeah I willalways be waiting for you. Yeah I will always be waiting for you. Yeah I will always be waiting for you. For you I will always be waiting.~"
"And its you I see, but you never see me! And it's you I hear, so loud and clear! I sing it loud and clear! And I'll always be waiting for you.~"
"So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention. And you know how much I need ya, but you never even see me...~"
Alastor waited a few seconds and plastered on a smile before gently rapping his knuckles against your door.
You sat up quickly, wiping the tears quickly before walking over towards your door.
You opened it a bit more and peaked out to see Alastor. You gave him a nervous smile before opening the door all the way.
"Hey Alastor, what's up?" You smiled at him.
He could tell that your smile was forced. It didn't quite reach your eyes; sadness and heartbreak still swam in your eyes as clear as day.
"Well my Dear, I should be asking you that question."
You laugh nervously, rubbing the back of your neck. "What do you mean?"
Alastor let out an exasperated sigh, doing his best to keep the smile on his face. "Not that I meant to be an eavesdropper, but I heard the song you sang. You sounded quite beautiful, but on the contrary upset. So I felt the need to ask if you were alright."
You frown quickly and dart your eyes away from Alastor. "Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. It's just the basic girl/guy loves a guy who doesnt really notice her/him, y'know?"
Alastor feels the need to frown, but he knew he'd alarm you so he made his smile grow.
"Yes well, you know what they say, unrequited love makes the world go round."
You look at him in disbelief, before cracking a smile, and soon a small, breathless laugh.
"Who says that?"
"Well I just did."
You let out a giggle as you shake your head. "So no one."
"Well I didn't really think of myself as no one, since I am someone. Everyone is someone really, although that's not quite the point we're discussing."
"We're not discussing any point really." You copy his really with a smile.
"Oh? I thought we were discussing of blockheaded, dimwit who couldn't notice a diamond in the ruff such as your self."
A blush flourished across your face like a field of flowers spreading in the spring time. Slow at first, as if you were regeristing what he said and then it spread quickly, leaving no bit of flesh untouched with a tinge of pink.
You gave him a gently shove that made his heart accelerate from your touch. He normal didn't like people touching him in anyway, but he couldn't make himself dislike your innocent touches. It made his heart flutter in a way he both hated and loved.
"Oh stop it, I'll be okay."
He nodded. "Yes, well I thought perhaps you'd like to talk about it."
You paused, thinking it over he assumed. "Well there's not much to talk about. He's just... out of my league. It's no wonder he doesn't really notice me, I don't necessarily stand out. Which is okay, it's always been like that for me."
Alastor tried to process what you said. What do you mean, "you don't necessarily stand out"? You were the absolute first thing he saw among everyone in the hotel.
You stood out like white against black, but not in a bad way. You are definitely something special, something extraordinary. You made Alastor fall in love with you, and that's not an easy task.
The more he gets to know you from others, the conversations he happens to over hear, and by observing you, the more fond he grows of you.
He may not have sexual desires towards you, but he never has had any type of sexual desire. That will never change, but he can still understand how beautiful you are.
He just couldn't understand why others never chose you, how couldn't they? You were perfect. Was this why you seemed so insecure about this guy? Because no one ever chose you?
Alastor felt a great need to change that. He felt like he had to tell you his feelings. You won't like him back because you're hung up on that other guy, but maybe he could boost your confidence enough so you gain the courage to tell him. To know someone had chosen you.
He may not enjoy the though of you with someone else, but for the first time in a long time, it wasn't about him. And he couldn't let himself make it about him.
"Well darling, I have something to tell you."
You looked at him in the eye; a curious glint shining in your eyes. Seeing your curiosity only made him fall deeper in love with you.
"What is it Alastor?"
He found it hard to find words for the first time in his entire life. His life both on Earth and in Hell. What were you doing to him?
"You see, ever since you came here, I've been fixated on you. You're like no one I have ever met in either of my lives; I hypothesize that's what drew me to you. The more I had gathered on you from everything I saw and heard, the more I had grown to adore everything you were and are. Even though I am asexual, and I will never have any sexual desire for you, I do have the desire for you to love me as much as I love you. Although, from the song you had sang, I know now that you never will. I will never hold that against you. I'm telling this to you in hopes you gain some confidence in telling that guy, whoever he may be, that you love him. If he has any kind of brain function, he'll reciprocate your feelings."
You stares at Alastor in confusion. Neither of you said anything for a while, so Alastor took it has his cue to leave.
"Well, have a good night (Y/n). I hope everything works out for you."
He turned to leave and you panicked. You reach out and snag his coat, tugging on his.
"Wait! Stop!"
He turns to you, "Yes? Did you need something else?"
"Wh-What do you mean?! You can't just walk away after confessing! You didn't even hear my response."
"I already know the answer though, I was simply giving you confidence."
"... Did you mean what you said though? Or is it just a confidence boost..."
Alastor couldn't help the frown that tugged at his lips from the sight of your disbelieving and hurt look as you trained your eyes on the floor.
"Every word. I swear, and I'll have you know I am a man of my word."
You looked up into his eyes, tears brimming the edge of your eyes before plummeting down your face.
Alastor was quick to move, wiping the tears from your face. "I didn't mean to make you cry Darling. You dont have to like me back. I'm not pressuring you-"
Alastor was cut off as you jumped forward into his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs as you tightened your grip around him.
"Its not that! I... I just... no one has ever truly liked me back before... I just really happy."
Alastor paused for a second before grinning. He hugged you back.
"I've never had anyone like me back either, but I guess you have to like them to begin with. Your special (Y/n), if not to no one else, then to me. You'll always stand out to me."
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catchingfeels · 4 years
Text
jj maybank // yeah
he was outside laying in the hammock, the breeze ruffling his already messy blonde hair. the bruises on his face were healing and the cut along his cheek bone was a deep crimson. my heart hurt just looking at him. he’d just come back from his house after trying to get the key to his dads boat, unsuccessfully. he didn’t have any new bruises, at least none i could see, but he had that look in his eyes. that gleam like he was mad at the world.
i’d just gotten to john b’s house after work. i worked at my dad’s insurance agency for the summer, answering calls and booking appointments. with the rich people on figure eight, there were a lot of boats and mansions, and with boats and mansions come insurance. it was a good little gig that helped me keep cash in my pocket, handy for when i was hanging out with the pogues and we needed gas or got hungry. i’d walked into the chateau and instantly knew something was off. pope sat on the couch with his head in his hands, kie sat staring at the floor, and john b was pacing in the kitchen. jj was no where in sight.
“uh hey guys...” my voice broke the wierd silence.
kie and pope looked at me with a sense of relief in their eyes. kie spoke first,
“hey, elle.” she sounded defeated and exhausted.
“so what’s going on? what’ve y’all been up to today?” i questioned hesitantly, not sure i wanted to know the answer. my tome earned a glance from pope who just replied
“it’s a shit show, elle” i nodded, not exactly sure what he meant. kie cut in,
“popes right. jj tried to get the keys from his dad but he couldn’t because his dad was probably high or some shit and then john b flipped and now they’re both pissed.”
i nodded again, noticing john b was no longer in the kitchen. this gold thing was really getting to his head. not that we didn’t all want it, it’d just it was more emotional for him because of his dad.
“damn i missed a lot” i say, wondering who i should try to console first. i look around, hoping to see john b’s shaggy brown hair, but he’s now where in sight.
“don’t bother,” pope catches me looking around, “i just saw him take off in the Pogue. he’s probably going to see sarah.”
“makes sense.” i nod, “well, i’ll go try to get jj in here so we can atleast talk about our next move.”
“good luck,” kie says, her tone sarcastic. we know how jj is when he’s upset. but i can usually calm him down with a little talking and distracting. we’ve always been close, jj and i, and i’m the one he comes to when he needs someone. i head out the back door and see him in the hammock, his head tipped back, his juul poking out of his lips. the hammock is swaying slightly and despite the tension in the chateau, he seems peaceful. i walk up slowly, not wanting to startle him.
“hey,” my voice is quiet but his eyes lift open. his baby blue eyes are slightly glossy but still alert. he smirks when he sees me.
“ah, the brave soul sent to recuperate the deserted member” he jokes. i smile softly, knowing he always hides his feelings with humor.
“yup, i drew the short stick today” i joke back. that earns a small smile from him. he rolls over onto his side so he’s facing me. his hair falls into his eyes but he doesnt sweep it away.
“well, good luck trying to win me over” he quips and i roll my eyes. i get close to the hammock and start playing with the worn out netting. we’re quiet for a moment but then jj starts swinging back and forth again, hitting me in the hips every time he does so. i know he’s doing it on purpose because he’s trying to suppress a smile.
“jj...” i warn, looking at him in a fake serious face. he meets my eyes but then goes back to his juul, still swinging. i sigh, “well, you know what they say, if you can’t beat em, join em. scoot over” i play push him to the other side of the hammock.
“what! no you can’t—“ he tries to push my it but i’m already settled into the nubby netting. i take a deep breath and look up at the trees. the sky is a beautiful shade of blue, similar to jj’s eyes. after he stops pouting at me because i’m ignoring him, he turns his attention to the sky too. i start humming one of my favorite songs and he joins. we laugh and then it’s quiet again.
after a while i say, “you know john b needs you right?” he rolls his eyes and starts playing with his juul.
“yeah yeah, that’s what everyone says. but he only needs me because of my dads boat”
“you know that’s not true” i turn to look at him, hoping he’ll know i’m being serious. “jj, you’re his best friend. he lost his temper, but he’ll come back around. please be there for him when he does.”
he looks at me, a small smile creeping onto his face, “huh”
“what?” i ask, confused.
“you’ve done the impossible.”
it’s my turn to say “huh?”
“you won me over.”
i roll my eyes, knowing he’s just saying that. he wasn’t ever going to give up on the hunt. he wants the gold just as much as john b, and he’s not one to ditch his friends.
i play shove him, adding “you know you’re not as mean as they say you are, maybank”
he smirks and diverts his gaze back to the sky. after a while he murmurs “thank you.”
“for what? you didn’t need me here to convince you to make up with john b. i know you would’ve done that all on your own.”
“for being here. for talking to me. for reminding me that you’re always here.” he slides his arm under my waist and pulls me closer to him. i smile, resting my head on his shoulder. he brings his juul to his lips.
“you know that’s gonna kill your lungs,” i say.
he looks at me and chuckles, blowing out a puff of smoke.
“want a hit?” he asks, holding the device out to me. i look at him. the angry gleam in his eyes is gone, replaced by something else. something i can’t quite read.
“yeah,” i say, taking the juul from him and bringing it to my lips. he laughs again as i try and fail at blowing a smoke ring. i nudge him in the shoulder.
“don’t laugh. it’s mean”
“ah so now i’m mean?” he quips.
i roll my eyes as he starts to tickle my side.
“stop!!” i cry in a fit of laughter. thankfully he does.
“i can always count on you to make me feel better,” he says, his voice low.
i look into his baby blue eyes, “yeah.”
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mskinkyafro · 5 years
Text
Last Call (Ethan Ramsey x MC)
A/N: I know what most could be thinking...what the hell it’s only been two chapters, but I can’t help it! I feel so much excitement and adoration for Dr. Ethan Ramsey. We don’t know much about him but ideas were popping in my head all weekend.  Any details I reference about his past in this fic is original content I conceived and nothing confirmed in PB cannon. This would definitely not be apart of cannon so cannon divergence here. The song used briefly in this fic is “These Arms of Mine” by Otis Redding.
Italicized and bold:song lyrics
Italicized: internal thoughts
Summary: Dr. Ethan Ramsay takes time to reevaluate the newest intern that’s captured his attention in more ways than one, whether he wants to admit it or not.
All Rights to PB for their characters, settings, and stories. I don’t own them, I just borrow minus my MC Dr. Katrina Michaels.
All Rights to who own the song “These Arms of Mine”.
In the mischievous hours of the night Dr. Ethan Ramsey sits alone in the now barren Donahue’s nursing another drink. The place once buzzing with noise is now near sheer silence except the gentle music playing from the jukebox. The last crop of stragglers, only a few with slurring speeches make their exit. Hearing the soft thud of the door shutting he let out a mild grunt and raises his near empty glass towards the bartender.
“Last one, buddy. My knees are screaming and any minute longer I’ll be visiting you at your job versus you visiting mine.”
Reggie says as he refills the glass and then grabs a rag to clean.
“Now we can’t be having that now.” Ethan replies before taking a small gulp.
Suspicious at such warm words from the man Reggie stops wiping down the counter to look at Ethan.
“Hmm, that’s strangely kind of you-”
Before Reggie can finish his sentence Ethan cuts him off all the while looking into his diminishing drink
“Because then who will serve me drinks at my beck and call?”
His eyes shine with mirth as looks at Reggie while he takes another sip.
“You almost had me there. You’re a cheeky bastard, you know that? I should throw your ass out for that.” Reggie says while shaking his head amused.
“But you won’t because you’re too good. That’s exactly why the likes of myself don’t deserve you as friend Reg.”
“Heh, damn right. I only keep you around because you tip well.”
Ethan chuckles at the man in front of him.
“Never change, Reggie.”
“Wasn’t planning to buddy.”
The two men finish laughing when the shoosh of the door opens and a young African-American woman enters while calling over her shoulder before the door closes.
“I’m going to use the restroom and wait inside until the Lyft comes. Night everyone!”
Recognizing the voice speaking  Ethan turns and sees Dr.  Katrina Michaels. As she moves from the entrance and towards the back right of the bar to the restrooms his gaze follows and he retreats to his mind briefly.
“I haven’t quite figured out why but there’s something about the rookie that intrigues me.”
Reggie notices his friend is watching the woman from earlier and can already gather what could be the reason why. Being the good friend that he is Reggie decides to give his old pal  a nudge in the right direction. So he taps Ethan on the shoulder to get his attention.
“Welp, I gotta clean up in the back. Keep an eye on the place for me. Especially the little lady, I’m leaving both in your capable hands.”
Ethan quirks an eyebrow at Reggie as he takes another swig and asks
“What are you getting at Reg?”
Reggie smirks to himself and shrugs his shoulders before he turns to leave Ethan alone and enters a side door near the shelves of alcohol. Ethan scoffs and continues to drink his glass of scotch enjoying the the burning sensations that slide down his throat. His thoughts lingers to earlier in the night when talking to Katrina.
“She definitely is different in the real world but on the hand not so much.  I don't quite understand why this intern is different from the others. Other than  proving herself capable so far but outside  EdenBrook I notice that my thoughts have dawdle on her more  trivial attributes. Such as her underlying fierceness or perhaps her vivaciousness. Well I suppose I can’t say I truly recognized these qualities more so I overlooked them, one such as her beauty. She truly is stunning. It makes me wonder why a woman like her spent time near me when the place was swarming with younger men. Especially asking if someone was waiting at home for me. It can’t be what I think… no I probably need to ease off the alcohol right now. Besides who would wait around  for me anyway? Edie surely doesn’t anymore.”
As he sets his glass down back on the counter he hears a soft voice calling his name which removes him from his thoughts. Without turning around he says
“Hello again, rookie.”
“I’m surprised to see you still here Dr. Ramsey.” Katrina Michaels murmurs.
He turns to face the intern and replies
“I’m surprising in a lot of ways.”
She smiles and delicately places herself  onto the stool that’s next to Ethan.
“You’ll have to  prove that you know.”
Despite himself he smirks at her. His gunmetal blue eyes piercing into Katrina’s hazel ones. Their gazes seem to challenge yet captivate the other. There’s a comfortable yet tense air between the two until the smooth vocals of Otis Redding play from the jukebox.
“These arms of mine, they are lonely. Lonely and feeling blue. These arms of mine are yearning, yearning  from wanting you...”
The song continues to play as Katrina speaks.
“You know he’s is one of my favorite artist. I used to...”
As she speaks Ethan watches the woman in front of him. He observes the way her eyes are lit up to how a rogue strand of her curly hair hangs, and even how in the dimly lit bar her smile radiates and contrasts with her beautiful coffee-hue complexion. He tries to listen to all she’s saying, now beginning to tell him about much of a fan she is. But he’s beginning to distract himself with his thoughts once more.
“Of course this song plays. Very convenient timing, I’d say. I bet Reggie had something to do with this. It’s been so long since I had someone. At this point other people would take anyone. But I could never at my stage in life. That’s why I’m here at almost one in the morning. I wonder why she’s here too, besides being young.”
Ethan breaks away from his mind to refocus back onto Katrina whose finishing up a compliment about his research.
“Katrina, may I ask you a question?”
“Of course, Dr. Ramsey.”
“First, outside of EdenBrook you may call me, Ethan.”
Katrina runs her hand through her hair before replying
“Are you sure, Dr. Ramsey?”
He rolls his eyes briefly before turning to look at his glass to take another sip of his scotch.
“Yes, rookie. You referring to me as doctor outside of the hospital makes me look a bit pretentious.”
“I think that’s your own doing, Dr. Ramsey.”
He pauses lifting his glass to meet his mouth in midair and turns to glare at her but it falters once he hears the bubbling of laughter escape her plump lips. He goes back to take a swig and places his glass back down gently.
“Sorry. I couldn’t pass that up...Ethan.”
“Now, was that really that difficult?”
“Not exactly, but it’s a bit strange. To be on first name basis with your idol.”
“I’m just a man, rookie. Not a celebrity or some god.”
Katrina turns her face away from Ethan and averts her eyes from his as she whispers
“Maybe, but you sure do have god-like looks.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t make out what you said?”  curious of what she said.
“It’s not important. But you wanted to ask me something?”
“Yes I do. I happen to be thinking of what you asked me earlier in the night and wondered the same.”
“Is that so? Is there a reason why you liked to know?”
Her tone so playful with a hint of flirtation that he couldn’t decipher if he imagined it or not.
Instead of speaking he shrugs his shoulders in response.
Smiling to herself and looking down before meeting his eyes again.
“I’m just like you. No one awaiting my return.”
“Interesting.”
The fading music is more audible as the two stop speaking momentarily
“...I need somebody. Somebody to treat me right, oh. I need your arms. Loving arms to hold me tight. And I, I, I need your, I need your tender lips to hold me.”
A chime from Katrina’s cell phone breaks the silence before either one of them could.
“That’s my Lyft. It’s two minutes away so, I’m going to waiting outside.”
Ethan nods in understanding, she begins to remove herself from her seat, but still slightly tipsy she slips and falls into Ethan’s body who reacts immediately.  He grasps firmly yet gently ahold of her,  keeping her steady. Both freeze from the sudden contact and close parameters they are from the other.
Katrina can see Ethan’s adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat and he thinks to himself while staring at Katrina.
“I suddenly have the urge to gently brush the curls away from her beautiful eyes and...I need to stop this instant. It’s late and I am feeling a bit lonely but I’m beginning to enter a dangerous area. This would lead to an H.R. nightmare. I can’t let myself get tangled with the matters of the heart. Especially with my, ahem, the rookie. God, I need to lay off the sauce for a while.”
He’s pulled from his thoughts when Katrina removes herself from his arms.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, rookie.”
“Is that going to be a permanent thing? Even outside of work?”
“What?”
“Rookie. I mean you’ve called me by my first name earlier tonight even when I thought you didn’t even know it, much less remember it nor care to.”
“I’ve told you. I’m observant...rookie. Does that answer your question?” He says smirking at her.
Rolling her eyes she moves to make her way to the exit.
“Yes it does. And you deny that you’re favoring me.”
“I’ll let you believe what you want. Even if it’s a silly notion.”
“Whatever you say, Dr. Ramsey” she purrs.
Ethan feels his heart rate increase briefly. Before he can respond, she speaks up.
“My ride should be here now. I’ll see you around Dr. Rams- I mean Ethan.”
She rubs her hand obsessively through her hair before giving him a quick wave as she inches closer to the door.
“For whatever reason my name leaving her lips sounds right. As the same for hers. Katrina. Ka-tri-na. I’d like to say it more than just in my...Okay enough. I must stick with calling her  rookie. That’s what's...what’s safe.
Katrina opens the door which pulls Ethan out and he speaks for the final time
“Have a good night...Katrina. Get home safe.”
She stops at hearing her name being used and turns back around and grins wide at Ethan.
“You too.”  she steps outside and calls back to Ethan.
“Maybe once I’ve graduated from rookie or you tire of it, you can call me Kat. Whichever comes first.”
Without another word or glance she walks out the door.
Ethan is left staring at the spot she was occupying before turning his attention back to his glass. He drains the rest of his drink and retreats into his thoughts.
“So much for playing it safe. Then again, what’s life without a few risks.”
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sodasyrup · 5 years
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I love,,,,, domestic lava au... You should do more of it. I'd love to know more about reka and monty too!
BWAAA...
Okay as I said it’s an au with kittie (6kuro) so I’m gonna grab the things it said and I said lmao
warning its a LONG disjointed post bc im too tired to make. a good post fdhghdf
lovelypeaches08/28/2019cole and kai would settle down real late like....in their late thirties because they want to keep their children as safe as possible, being elemental masters and having enemies and all
at first wu wants them to fight longer and shit but hes OLD so who cares and theres probably conflict on thatbut kai and cole are old enough to realized they dont have to be controlled
so they get married, symbolically if anything, because they've been dating for probably a little over a decade now and known each other even longer, AND been living together for the same amount of time
theyre the first of the ninja to settle down, and they buy a small house in a village thats maybe an hour away from ninjago city
the tininess of the house is made up for by the largeness of the yard, where cole likes to garden, especially fruits and vegetables
cole works as a stay at home free lance artist, doing stuff like commissions, book covers, comics, etc for moneykai does something that puts his charisma to use, probably something in business that lets him advertise and talk a lot..he could never settle down for a stay at home job or anything, even with all his thrilling ninja stories
they have enough money from donations and awards to thrive off these jobs, and ninjago probably pays them kind of like retirement
cole cooks for kai so he always has a meal ready when hes home, so then kai cooks on the weekend
anyways, they have two kids, about 3 years aparti haven't figured them much out yet, but kai and cole cook and bake with themcoles parenting style is very protective and rather spoils them, while kai lets them do whatever as long as its not immediately dangerousthey balance each other out well, so their kids grow up loved and well rounded
lovelypeaches08/28/2019coles always buying them sweets and treats and Kai pretends to be annoyed but thinks its really cute
the kids go to a small school on the outskirts of ninjago city, and get asked about their parents a LOT. they kind of like the attention but it gets irritating
moving on to the other ninja who also start to settle down,jay doesnt really want kids, so he passes on his powers with ~science~ or something, but only when hes a lot olderhe does engineering at borg industries or something, and he messes around a lot but gets away with it bc hes the blue ninjahes like kai and coles kids Fun Uncle, since he lives in a big apartment in downtown ninjago city, with a bunch of cool techkai and coles family often take elongated road trips therejay thinks hes a cool relative but besides being super lenient hea actually kind of embarrassing lol
nya settles down a bit later than the rest of them, because she wants to live her ninja days to the fullesti could go on about my domestic samurai au but her and pixal have a kid who gets nyas water powersnya is much more eager to train her kid than cole and Kai are (they want to start properly training thwir children when theyre like 16, much to wus disappointment)nya doesn't force anyrhing on her kid but she doesnt protect her kid from the fact they'll have to train sooner or latershes determined on still changing the world, so she's a strong political leader, with innovative ideas who doesnt approve of ninjagos government and wants to change it for the betterShe also lives in downtown, but isn't as fun as jayher kid is younger than kai and coles, but kai and coles kids look up to them because they're very independent and skilled! their mom is also super cool, but not in a silly way. she rocks leather jackets and drives her kid around on a motorcycle
lovelypeaches08/28/2019zane is tricky for me...i like to imagine him sticking with lloyd to being a ninja or whatever, since hes going to be alive a lonnggg timehe also wants to respect wus wishes, so he teaches students and fights alongside lloydhe does so much less however, and finds a lot of time to visit his friends
kai and coles kids are shy around him at first, him being a nindroid whose still a ninja, but hes so much nicer and softer than expectedhe always brings them presenrs and enjoys quality time with them, so he's basically their favorite uncle
now lloyd continues his master training, to become the next master after wu dies. hed be the one to guide the next generation of elemental masters as well as their parents in training thembut don't worry, he gets a break too, since the other ninja help him out. hes much less burdened then wu was in the later years of his lifeok thats all i think
My commentary now
little boy whos like 3 and super wide eyed and excited and loves pink (when he foudn out zane at one point had a pink gi he asked if he could get one too)older girl around 6 whos a big daddys girl and loves to garden with cole and make mud piez
the little girl is the fire em - she had temper issues linked to autismz which they worked through her with early and never thought of it but she has a big passion for gardening they mistook for elemental connection when rly she just LUVS IT
little boy is em of earth - hes a natural born leader and stubborn, wide eyed and excitable. again bc they worked w both their kids about their tempers and such they never realized he was just naturally good at keeping his composure. also a lot like jay keeping morals upnaturally strong but both their kids are and i hc the super strength doesnt come in until peubertyz
shes a bit of a late bloomer with em powers but one day their little boy accidentally makes a pot hole inside the kitchen bc he was excited over zane cookingthey took too good of care of their kids and his true potential was simple bc he was a litol kid which was im going to live my best fcuking life with friends and family *rips a hole in the ground
kai and cole are the gross sappy parents that trade kisses n their kids are like thats DISGUSTING youre DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE
Kittie pointslovelypeaches08/28/2019YEAYEYAYAYYEYAYAYEoh god the little boy is part scenecorelikenot full on scene but like punk y2kwhich is a part of scenealso at first cole and kai are super concerned being a ninja will be as mentally damaging and ack as it was for them at times, but lloyd and zane are genuinely good mastersbutnot to get sadbutwhen tragedy does happen somehow, since neither Lloyd nor zane can ease that, cole and kai are so good at helping their kids e thatthey help them recover from it without downplaying their kids concerns and feelings amd give good advice and loveand make being elemental masters a lot easier for their kids than it ever was for them
me again.....
they always get so fucking scared thokai custom makes weapons for themarmor too he spends hours upon hours making sure its perfect and even prays over them to keep their kids safe
anyway when kai n cole visit w them (idk if theyr just adopted at their current age or like.... adopted as babies or surrogate or?? idk but) they visit lloyd and kai softly says "Look! its uncle lloyd" and lloyd starts SOBBING hes just fucking bawlinghis eyes out and when kai offers to for lloyd to hold him lloyds just like are you suure arre eyyuuu thherye so smsmm all kaiii are yoruur suureee thheyrey babbeises
nya is hesitant but ends up being a really good aunt, i meanshe took care of kai /j
zane is a fav uncle and hes always making sweets for them jay is. also sorta a fav bc where zane comes jay follows and jay has a sweet tooth and also makes Cool Toys + hey wanna prank your dadsalso im dramatic and likekai and cole sitting down and having a convo about master wubc he was sorta a shitty mentor and they really REALLY dont want their kids going through any self confident issues nor over stressing bc theyr KDISeventually kai and cole talk to master wu and actually has wu face his terrible practice towards kids and wu accepting he was.............................a bad 'parent' in a senseblebleblelelelelelellekai works but cole absolutely watches over any training when wu is there at first but lloyd is the master now and lloyd is like..........................i dont want kids to go through what i went through kai is like i trust you but also i will murder every single one of you in this dojo if you ever hurt my little girlim doing what i do and taking an au and running im sorry ghdghdfhJACK RAMBLES....their son refuses to wear shoes he lieks dirt on his feet they never really think much of it but its actually really comforting for him to feel the earth under his feet and feel stablethey think its just a stim thing maybe? theyr unsurebut! turns out him Element(also a fear of heights)lloyd tries to be a serious master but hes a big ol goof and can easily be manipulated
ironically.......its the lil boy who often is like HEY!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOTTA TRAIN!
kai and cole agree not to tell anyone what theyre thinking of naming their little boy until he arrives so when the day comes kais holding this tiny little boy and holds him out gentlyand lloyd is already EMOTIONAL because this is a BABY and lloyd softly asks his name n cole cuts in like "hes named after a really brave dude, montgomery. but we're thinking monty as a nickname"lloyd, choking up:(hc garmadons first name is montgomery)
the girl is Reka which means sweet in maori (a personal headcanon for cole) and shes their sweetheart
lovelypeaches09/04/2019bhrnrng this is in domestic au but col and kai teachign their kids instrumentscole and reka wud play piano duets togetherand monty doesnt like instruments much but he likes to singlike a LOT he belts out a song for everythinghe just lieks his own voice
burdletutt09/04/2019HNGGG HFHMONTY LOVS BEING LOUD
lovelypeaches09/04/2019YEAAAHhes like the type who makes a song for everythingmonty voice we rr goinggg to the parkkkkk and the grass isss.........GREEENNNNNNN and there are LOOK THERE ARE SQUIRRRELSSSS and a playground and the skyyyyy isssssssssssss...*deep inhale* BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE1E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kai and cole: you are literally so talented
jay tries really hard to be the Cool Uncle at firstbut Monty just :^TReka gives him an awkward chucklewhen jay stops being Cool ™ hes goofy and thats when they start giggling and liking him more
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disquietiswhatitis · 5 years
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O, P, S, W, X, Z? :)
:) O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of: Shuffle went with “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode and SUPERCORP 
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas): This was a lot longer rough draft than I intended and probably more than you asked for but….Supergirl Comic Con AU.
Kara and Alex go to a comic con and cosplay (Kara being more enthusiastic about the latter than Alex.) Sam is a single mother who promised to take a 7 year old Ruby to the same comic con, and drags her workaholic friend (and ex-lover) Lena with her, selling her on the idea of being “cool Aunt Lena” and saying that people watching could be fun. Lena reluctantly agreed. A couple hours go in, Kara pushes Alex to do “Sci Fi Speed Dating,” while Lena does the same with Sam. Sam and Alex meet during round 5 or so and hit it off so well that they don’t bother talking to anyone else and leave right then and there, much to the chagrin of the cosplaying lesbians who were very excited to get to talk to them next. 
Alex walks with Sam while she looks to meet up with Ruby and Lena, but Sam takes a little bit of time doing so in order to flirt with and learn more about Alex. Sam and Alex find Ruby and Lena talking with none other than Kara, who is cosplaying either as the same thing or something from the same fandom as Ruby’s costume. Kara somehow balances actively listening, engaging and nerding out with Ruby (which makes Lena smile) with her and Lena’s shamelessly flirting and checking each other out (which makes Lena blush.) Sam gives a very loud throat clear to let the oblivious lovebirds know she’s there (which Lena knows means that she’s getting teased for later.) Sam meets Kara while Alex meets Lena and they spend the rest of the con together, ensuring Ruby has a blast first and foremost, flirting hard second.
As the con comes near an end, both couples (unofficial) get each other’s phone numbers and part ways…but when Sam and Alex hug goodbye, it lingers a little bit. Sam leans in a little, wanting to see how Alex reacts and Alex doesn’t hesitate to have her lips meet Sam’s halfway (Kara and Lena nervously make eye contact with each other while looking away.) It’s a good kiss. Not short enough so that they don’t enjoy it, but not so long as to draw a scene. It’s not a tease, but a promise of good things yet to come. They promise to call each other soon to have an official date, squeeze each others hands once before heading their separate ways. While Ruby sleeps in the car on the way home, Lena tries to tease Sam about her and Alex. Sam blushes, she takes it but then she turns it around and basically roasts Lena for being a useless lesbian with Kara. Meanwhile, the Danvers sisters are both giddy about the women they met and failing to contain it (though Alex holds out longer than Kara…she has a reputation to maintain after all.) 
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon: Sam had to leave National City after Reign…she didn’t want to leave, but it was necessary for her recovery for a while. Against her better judgment, she and Alex had one night together. She didn’t know how long she’d be, so she didn’t promise to return so Alex wouldn’t feel obligated to wait for her. It broke both their hearts. A part of the reason Alex has been dating so much lately without it going anywhere is because subconsciously, no matter how great these women are, they’re not Sam and Alex is still holding out hope that Sam comes back. 
W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms: I answered this on my last ask :) 
X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms: Danvarias (Supergirl), WestAllen (The Flash), Korrasami (Legend of Korra),  
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go: I love bisexual demigoddess Diana Prince with my entire being and while I adore Steve Trevor and Wondertrev and I know neither in anyway makes Diana any less bisexual…I would still love to actually see Diana in a romantic relationship with another woman (one that isn’t just implied), whether it’s in comics, an animated movie or (gods willing) live action. 
Ask Me fandom stuff!
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missjackil · 5 years
Text
Miss Jacki’s Top 30 Favorite Episodes
#6
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All Hell Breaks Loose pts 1&2
I believe these are landmark episodes for every SPN fan. Im going to treat this like one episode because it really seems like one single episode. 
A little back history, I came to this show late, it was already in S11 when I started binging fron the beginning. It was by the request of my friend, who had tod me a few times that she thought Id love the show, and I didnt believe her. fanatasy/horror/super hero shows are not my genre. I like dramas like NCIS and House MD but this? This is kid stuff.... not my thing. But I took her advice and watched. She made me promise to watch the first 2 seasons and if I still didnt like it by the end of S2, we could move on. So I did.  I didnt think seasons 1 and 2 sucked, I liked Sam Dean and John a lot but, the monsters, acting, and overall story was meh IMO. S2 was better, at least one or two more episodes from then made it to my top 30, but this one sealed my fate. I had heard a lot about this amazing, unmatchable chemistry these two had, but I wasnt really feeling the love. They fought constantly, Dean seemed too clingy and Sam seemed to not want to be with him much at all. and I wasnt really seeing this epic bromance I had been told about. And then All Hell Broke Loose! Sam mysteriosuly gets zapped away to demon camp, and Dean is desperate to find him. Sam’s side of the episode is very interesting, we are really seeing his leadership skills in action, and how he can be totally freaked out and not let it show. Jake, was such a good character, Im still upset he didnt stay around for a while, even as a bad guy. 
Of course, the most important part of these episodes is that Sam is killed, and Dean’s brokeness and despiration. Im very shocked at first that Sam actually dies. I had thought since the show was in its 11th season at the time, that Sam and Dean cant/don’t die ever, so I never really had much concern for their well being. I learned they could be beat to hell and next episode they’re shiney and pretty as new, and if they’re still on the air, they obviously cant die right? And in a sense its true that they cant die, or stay dead, they still somehow manage to make their deaths very traumatizing. I learned here, that its not so much that one brother died, its more about the reaction of the other. Sam and Dean never know its not final. We may know, but they dont. 
Jake and Sam have this big fight. Jake  is strong af but Sam manages to hold his own. This solidifies the notion I had, that even though Dean is the agressive one, and much faster to punch or kill, Sam Winchester is NOT a wimp. not a “damsel”. He is also strong af, a damn good fighter and has a very high pain threshold. He knocks the super charged “benched 800 lbs stone cold calm” Jake out cold. Almost kills him, but decides against it.... he wont make that mistake again eh? Walking away with apparently a broken shoulder, or arm, he hears Dean and sees him in the distance. DEAN!!! Sam smiles and releif washes over him, Dean isnt dead!! But right in front of Dean, Jake comes in from behind and stabs Sam in the back, and slices.... and severs Sams spinal cord WTF?? This scene is etched in every fans mind forever. Jensens acting here is nothing short of oscar worthy, but lets take a minute to appreciate Jared’s also. He doesnt have a speaking part right here, but he is truly portraying someone with a severed spinal cord. He falls to his knees to be imediately caught by Dean. He cant hold his head up, lift his arms, or even keep his eyes straight.He cant talk or even gasp for breath. Dean knows but is in complete denial. He’s gonna fix it, thats his job!! Take care of his pain in the ass little brother!! Deans shock and denial, along with his honest helpless greif, destroys me! The way he holds Sam and screams his name... and then burries his face in Sams hair and cries. I just cant! Next, we see that Dean has carried Sam’s body to an abandoned shack, and laid him on a mattress. Dean has laid Sams hands on his stomach like he’s resting. For a day or more, Im not sure, Dean stands there and stares at his dead little brother. He refuses to bury or burn him. Bobby doesnt want to leave him alone, he obviously cant handle this situation, but Dean has no shits to give. The person he loves most in the world is gone. Screw everything else.  Dean starts talking to dead Sam and this is heart wrenching. These 2 episodes change everything as far as their brotherly relationship goes. Its no longer just close, and deep its psychotic, irrational, dangerous, and the most beautiful thing ever! Dean doesnt know what to do. This is the absolute worst part of losing someone you love. The next step, what do you do? How can you even begin to try to continue to live?  Dean is beyond desperate. He goes and sells his soul to bring Sam back. And he doesnt get 10 years or even 5, he gets 1 year. 1 year and then he’s damned to eternal torment in hell. They cant try to break the contract or Sam dies again. A terrible trade off, but Dean takes it. When he sees Sam standing there in the room, alive, he gives him such a great hug!! This begins my obsession for brohugs!! Fast forward to the cemetery scene. A lot is going on here, Azazel is griefing them, Jake opens the hell gates (though the boys are blamed for this forever) Azazel asks Dean is Sam is REALLY the same old Sam?? We all wonder if Sam is ok when he stone cold shoots Jake repeatedly, with that one little blood drop on his face. Overall, Sam seems like Sam, but we at least know hes a little more killy now lol.  We get a bonus reunion with John, he touches Deans shoulder, gives him a tearfilled smile, and looks at Sam. For a long time, I was a little bit bitter that John didnt show any affection to Sam, but then I realized, or maybe its just a head canon, but John may have known that Dean sold his soul for Sam, and Joh was silently telling Dean he understood. John sold his soul for Dean, so he was like “The things we’ll do for love, right son?” John did some crappy things, but no one will ever convince me that he didnt love those boys with all his heart.  Sam figures out that Dean sold his soul for him, and hes pissed. But he finally comes out with what I needed to know for 2 seasons “Youre my brother... theres NOTHING I wouldnt do for you”. Yes... Sam is just as irrational, psychotic, and dangerously in love with Dean.And with that.... I was sold on SPN. I dont regularly go back to watch these episodes, but when I do, it still tears me up. Even moreso now that so much has happened because of it.  Sometimes, something big happens on the show and the negative people say that it makes this, or Deans trip to Hell, or Swan Song lose meaning, and it truly doesnt. It makes those things have more meaning. Everything that unfolded after those events up till now makes them more critical and adds the question “if they had known, would they still?” And knowing the answer would be “yes” just makes it all that much more brutally wonderful,  Now, go watch these episodes again, keeping in mind everything that transpired from it, and when Dean sobs at losing his little bro for the first time, allow your heart to break more for the big picture. 
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coffeecrusadeclub · 5 years
Text
Prompt: You Belong With Me music video except Tyrus
Cyrus's POV:
It was a sterotypical Tuesday night for me. I was sitting by my window trying to study but instead I was looking through my window into my neighbor's bed room. I sighed, TJ was walking back and forth in his room on the phone, it looked like he was yelling. He hung up the phone and tossed it on his bed. I guess he was talking to his boyfriend again. He was probably flipping out because of a joke TJ made. Quinn really didn't get his humor, not the way I did. TJ sat on his bed and i quickly flipped my notebook to a blank page and wrote "are you okay?" in marker before holding it up to the window. TJ smiled at me and grabbed his notebook writing something down in blue marker before putting it to the window. "Just really tired of drama" I frowned. I flipped to a new page of my notebook and wrote down "Im sorry. :(" i looked at it for a second and added "open your window I'll put your favorite song on and we can talk"
I put the note up and he opened his window. I opened mine and put on "water" by jack garratt.
"How did you know this was my favorite song?" He asked curiously
"You told me once, awhile ago.. I actually pay attention to you.. you know that right?"
"Yeah its just- Quinn wouldn't be able to remember if his life depended on it.."
"Well we're on a whole different wave length" i said softly, looking down.
"Yeah, I guess we are... Hey Im going to head in. Goodnight"
"Goodnight" I paused for a moment and took a deep breath.
"Hey TJ?" I looked up and saw his window was already shut and he had closed his curtains, I sighed, "i love you"
I didnt stay up much longer and ended up falling asleep on a pile of close I had pulled out to decide what to wear. I didnt understand how TJ couldnt see we were meant to be together. TJ was a star athlete in the basketball team. Quinn was captain of the cheer team. I didnt understand why that made them better for each other. Quinn had to go to all of the games and cheer TJ on. I went voluntarily spending $10 to get in to cheer TJ on, even though I understood absolutely nothing. To me that made me the better match for TJ, I supported him unconditionally because I wanted to not because I had a grade depending on it.
A couple days later I ran into TJ at the park I sat with him on a bench and we started talking. It was so easy for us to talk to each other.
"You know Teej, you're smile could light up the entire city. I havent seen it in awhile, since you got with Quinn..."
"What do you mean... I smile all the time"
"But not like genuinely...."
"Im fine Cy I promise"
"You say youre fine... i know you better than that." I said barley audible. He didn't respond and I wasnt sure he heard. Quinn walked up to the bench and sat himself in TJs lap.
"Hey baby I missed you" TJ wrapped an arm around Quinns waist.
"What are you doing with a guy like that" I mumbled under my breath. TJ didnt hear it but Quinn certainly did. He shot me a challenging look and grabbed TJs face with one hand, leaning in and kissing him. TJ pulled away looked down
"Good to see you too Quinn"
"Come on TJ we're going to be late to our movie"
"We're going to the movies?"
"We are now. What kind of lames hang out in a park?" I frowned and looked at TJ who was being led away by Quinn. He turned back looking equally upset and mouthed "im sorry" to me before saying "Bye Cyrus" out loud. I watched them walk away and sighed. I decided to head back home. A couple hours later I heard my mom from downstairs.
"Cyrus!! You have a visitor. Do you want me to send them up?"
I thought to myself for a second, did I forget that I invited someone over? Buffy was on a trip with her mom, Andi was out with Bex and Bowie. I concluded the only way to figure it out was to have the visitor come upstairs.
"Yes mom. Thank you" I yelled in response. After a few seconds TJ poked his head into my room.
"Hey TJ whats up?" I was slightly confused, I thought TJ was out with Quinn.
"I-I wanted to talk to you but your curtains were closed." TJs voice cracked and i gave a look of concern "Are you okay TJ?"
"I dont know man. I got into a fight with Quinn"
"Why what happened? Is everything okay"
"Yeah its just.. we were studying for math and I-I read the numbers wrong... because of the-the thing... and he got really mad because when he looked at it the whole thing was wrong. And I felt so stupid.."
"Hey its not your fault. Youre not stupid. Theres nothing wrong with you. Dyscalcula is not a bad word TJ"
"It just sucks you know? Its like Quinn doesnt understand.. he doesnt want to understand." TJ looked like he was on the verge of tears and I decided I needed to make him laugh.
"Hey to make you feel better how about we build a crazy machine so that we can combine animals. We can mix a fish and a duck! Itll be called a Fuck!!" I exclaimed my hypothesis enthusiastically and realized i had accidentally just curse. Either way I had made TJ laugh which made me smile.
"You know youre the only person who can make me laugh when Im about to cry."
"I do my best. I love your laugh."
He smiled at me and looked around my room, spotting the white suit in the corner.
"Youre going to the dance?" He asked curiously.
"I dont know... I have to study.. Plus I dont have a date so I'd probably be bored"
"What about going with Andi and Buffy?"
"They already have dates" i shurgged.
"Oh. I wish you would. Its gona be fun" i smiled at him and nodded
"Sorry Cy I have to go home see ya"
I waved goodbye and watched him leave. Maybe I would go to the dance, and try to talk to TJ which would be near impossible if he was with Quinn. I thought about it for a second, maybe he wouldn't be with Quinn, since they were fighting. I sighed thinking about going, I had already bought a suit so maybe I should go. If anything I know that Buffy and Andi would include me in their evening but did I really want to intrude? I sat down by window and grabbed my notebook. I wrote down "I love you" in black marker and held it in my chest. Maybe this time he would see. I looked across into TJs room, his curtains were open but he wasn't up there yet. I sat there for a few minutes and a light turned on in his room I looked up he had walked over to his Curtains. I waved at him, he smiled and waved back before reaching for his curtain. I quickly held my notebook up to show him but it was too late he already closed it. I missed my chance again.
I sighed. Well maybe I would go to the dance tomorrow and tell him there. I smiled at the idea and went to sleep.
The next day after school I went home and stared at my suit. Did I really want to go? TJ is probably still going to be there with Quinn, they havent broken up.. I think. After I ate I got ready sighing at myself in the mirror as I put the folded up note in my pocket.
I got to the school and walked into the gym. The dance was already in full effect and I looked around for TJ. Once I did I walked up to him. He was wearing a black suit with a red tie.
"Hey you came!"
"Yeah I did. I decided that since I already bought a suit it was a waste to not come"
"You look- you look stunning" I looked down as I felt myself blushing
"Thank you.." I paused for a minute before continuing "Wheres Quinn? Are you here with him?"
"I-uh no I dont know where he is"
As if we had summoned him, Quinn walked up behind TJ and wrapped his arms around TJs waist from behind
"Come on lets go dance T"
"Im having a conversation right now can it wait."
Quinn let go and stood behind him, seemingly shocked and stared at him.
"TJ?" I drew his attention back to me and pulled the note out of my pocket and unfolded it. Hesitating before I turned it around so he could read it. He smiled at me and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a folded piece of notebook paper. He opened it and turned it towards me.
"I love you" was written on it in blue ink. We smiled at each other and he stepped closer to me. I heard Quinn shout something angrily and stomp away.
"I never realized that you loved me back..." TJs voice was soft.
"Standing by you... waiting at your back door all this time... how could you not know?"
"Youre the one who understands me.. I should have"
TJ closed my gap and kissed me and time stopped. It felt right, he belongs with me.
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mercury-imagines · 6 years
Text
Fluff Alphabet for Murphy
A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)
Murphy finds high, graceful cheekbones really attractive, as well as deep eyes. He doesn’t have a preference for color, he just loves deep eyes that look as if they hold their very own galaxy, surrounded by long, dark eyelashes.
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)
He is terrified at the thought of raising children. He doesnt think he’d be a very good father, and he thinks he’ll mess up somehow and raise his children to be as screwed up as him. He doesn’t want to create a broken family. If he does have children though, he’ll do his best to raise them and try so hard to give them a good life. He thinks he’s a terrible father, but he’s actually an amazing one.
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
He wants to feel wanted. He loves feeling your arms around him, your face in his chest or the crook of his neck, as he holds you tightly around the waist. He feels safe, warm, and loved.
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D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)
Dates with Murphy are pretty lowkey, and he prefers to be in a private place. A lot of the time, you’ll just end up cuddling for hours and talking softly, or you’ll go wandering out in the woods, playing around and joking where nobody else can see. He just wants to get lost in his own little world with you. Occasionally he’ll try to do something special, like set up the best dinner he could manage and light a bunch of candles, but he tries to save that for special occasions or apologies.
E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))
He tells you that you are his reason for trying. Trying to live, trying to be a better man, etc.
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
He knew he was in love when he realized that he would die for you.
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
Murphy isn’t the most gentle person, but he’s significantly more gentle with you. You can tell in the way he speaks-not just his words, but his voice becomes softer as well, and he smiles a lot more. He’d never be rough in the way he touches you.
H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)
He likes to know your by his side, so he enjoys holding hands. It reassures him that you’re there, by his side, and only his side. He likes interlocking your fingers together, it feels more intimate that way, and he has a better grip.
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I = Impression (What was their first impression?)
Murphy was so doubtful that someone could ever be nice to him. He’d push you away and be kind of rude towards you, because he thinks the only reason someone would ever be kind to him is if they had something to gain from it, if they were using him. It took him awhile to warm up to the idea that you really were being genuine, but after seeing you try to stop his hanging, he started accepting your kindness.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
He does get jealous, but he doesn't deal with it very well. He’s very insecure, so he gets jealous easily. He takes his jealousy out on you, and becomes really snarky and pushes you away. If you cuddle him and reassure him that you love him, and only him, he’ll apologize and feel bad about the way he acted.
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)
His kisses are desperate and passionate, and he tends to pour all of his emotion into it. He’s very touchy, and never kisses you without having his hands somewhere on your body, whether it be on your waist, your hair, your face, etc. He probably initiated the first kiss, but hesitantly, very hesitantly. He’d lean in, but you might have to help him close the gap, because he’s so scared you don’t feel the same way and he doesn’t want to screw anything up.
L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)
He’s not very good at voicing his very vulnerable emotions, so you probably say it first. It definitely takes him awhile to be able to say it, but it’s clear he means it when he says it.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
Your first kiss. It was a sweet and vulnerable moment for him, and seeing your bright smile after you pulled away is one of his favorite things he has ever seen. He is fond of any memory where he has made you smile, but his favorite is your first kiss, because it was the beginning of the best thing that has ever happened to him.
N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
He tries his best to give you anything you want. If he goes out on guard duty or to get food, he makes sure to find some pretty flowers or something to give back to you. He’s very thoughtful, and always tries to find little things to bring back to you.
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)
Any bright or pretty colors that you wear often, because he associates happiness with you, so any color that seems bright and happy, or even just a color that puts him at peace, reminds him of you.
P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)
Beautiful, Princess if he’s being a little snarky or dirty, and sometimes, when he’s feeling extra romantic, angel.
Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)
He likes old weapons, like the very first forms of guns and such, or medieval weapons that are no longer used. He’s interested in all the methods and strategies that used to be used in warfare. He also loves old literature. He loves seeing how everything has developed and changed since whenever the book he’s reading was written. He wonders if people back then had ever imagines what the world would be like, thousands of years later, when he’s living. He wonders what his ancestors were doing, how they made a living, if they were anything like him.
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
Murphy likes to sit in a dry area, preferably somewhere still outdoors, like a porch or even just under a tree, and watch and listen to the rain. He likes to get lost in thought while the rain pours down.
S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)
His sadness often takes the form of anger, and he has a hard time admitting that he’s sad. You’ve learned to read him though, and can tell when he’s sad. Taking him away from everyone else and cuddling as you trace shapes on his back calms him down, and he might eventually break down and cry into your arms. If he feels like he might take his frustrations out on you, he goes for long walks alone. If you’re sad, Murphy will straight up ask you what he can do to help, and will do whatever you say.
T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
Murphy likes learning things about you. He wants to know everything. Your past, your present, your hopes and dreams. He wants to know every thought, every feeling you have. He feels awkward talking about himself too much at a time, but once he feels comfortable, he’ll open up bit by bit.
U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)
Long walks, time spent with his S/O, and getting lost in thought in the rain.
V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
He acts like he’s proud of everything about himself to hide his insecurity, but it’s only a facade. What he’s truly proud of is changing for the better, trying to do the right thing. He feels like he might be turning his life around somewhat, and he’s proud he managed to change at all.
W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)
He brings it up suddenly, asking you how you feel about marriage while staring deep into your eyes while cuddling. He asks nonchalantly, but internally he’s panicking, asking himself why he would say that.
X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)
Kashmir-Led Zeppelin, Kiss Off- Violent Femmes, and Far From Any Road- The Handsome Family
Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)
He does,  but pushes the thought away because he doesnt think he deserves you, and thinks that you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with him. He can't help but dream, though. All he wants is to spend his life watching your smile.
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)
Murphy would want something affectionate, but resilient, like a scrappy little cat.
A/N~I love Murphy and I hope I did him justice
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anyhao-archived · 6 years
Text
okay im finally getting around to posting this, tbh i had to take a few days to (rest) before i thought more about this lol. also sorry it’s so long, ill put it under a read more. ANYWAYS my vav experience, as follows:
so for the fan sign there was a Lot going on so i forgot most of it but.. barons teeth sparkled when he smiled lmao anyways st van was first and I told him he was my moms favorite and he went rly?? in a really cute voice and he just seemed so surprised, it was endearing
and then jacob... i don’t mess with him anymore. jk lol he was so freaking attractive but like in a Hot way? his smile was so nice that im pretty sure i garbled my words but i tried to tell him i really like love night.. and I was going to ayno and like idk if i was joking to myself or what but just loud enough i actually said, oh that’s lots of bling! and both ayno and jacob heard me, ayno laughed genuinely and jacob was like omg i can’t believe this idiot.. i don’t think i said anything to ayno, he seemed really uncomfortable so i didn’t want to bother him anymore. but his laugh was genuine i could tell, and for a split second i don’t think he was wearing his Idol Mask(TM) when he smiled. but that’s probably just wishful thinking lol
ACE I CANT BELIEVE HIM he looked so fucking good oh my god i got to him and i called him a Casanova and he went ayyyy with a thumbs up and finger guns and i wanted to die lmfao
when i got to baron he said my name but kinda pronounced it wrong but i corrected him, and he said it again. and then i told him my name rhymes with his and he said mine like four times in different ways trying it out and rhyming it with his stage name😭 HE DIDNT have to say my name that many times, god. his English was so fucking good holy shit and his pronounciation??? Amazing and he’s so handsome up close, like literal Disney prince handsome
ziu talks sooo much!!! I love it and he’s so good looking and kind and he shook my hand and ??? he said to enjoy the show and i told him to enjoy doing the show and he did like a shy smile kind of thing !! you could tell he was trying hard with the English i was rly proud of him
lou had a flower crown on and i complimented on it and he said my name so well and there was more with him but i forgot 😢
but that was just the fan sign lol so much other stuff happened... later during the show i nearly died bc of ayno.. they were picking people to go up on stage, right? and there was a girl in front of me also with her hand raised, like freaking out (maybe a bit too much?) and i was like okay she probably wants it so i kinda like.. stopped raising my hand and gestures to her? If that makes sense... he almost picked her but when he saw me be nice and let her have it, he literally stares at me and picks me, dead on...but someone random that he wasn’t pointing at like ROWS back walked on stage before we could realize it was me but that fucking eye contact i had with him made him SHOOT up my bias list lol now I have to rethink my entire order. im like 75% sure that he picked me because i wasn’t a crazy fan, like the girl in front of me was a bit much.. and obviously if i was willing to give it up im not that insane... ladies, it pays off to be a nice person!
AND JACOB WITH THE BABY please end me i fell for him so much like he’s almost overtaking baron that’s how much i liked him last night and how nice is vav that they tried to pick new people?? like they picked the fan boy, the little baby, the elderly lady.. and they even helped her to and from the stage 💗😍 AND SPEAKING of gentlemanly stuff there was a guy with a wheelchair during the snapshots in line for jacob and when they were done he personally pushed the guy in the wheelchair all the way to where the man needed to go. he breaks my heart and heals it simultaneously, he’s so underrated but still a genuinely and QUIET nice person.. he doesn’t do good stuff to be noticed. like when winter breeze was over, they had the rappers sing it too... but not jacob. i was so upset and he also didn’t do his solo song that i specifically told him i liked, but ayno did two of his. im not bitter at all what do u mean ??? 🤷‍♀️
i feel like more happened at the concert but i can’t think of much more, im sure other fan accounts will have it all. the only thing i can think about is the snapshots anyways lol
the group picture was ... interesting. the hi touch wasnt much except it reinforced my idea that ayno recognized me, bc instead of a high five he held my hand for as long as possible, probably an apology for earlier. i nearly died. the pic ended up looking awful but thats okay lol. then we tried to leave but i ended up going the wrong way, and a staff handed me roughly like actually grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in the right direction (which i did not appreciate, please chill, u just didnt tell us the right way to go...) and a few members saw that and didnt like either. ayno looked irritated but im sure  hes just irritated at everything at that point lol, lou and ace looked at me sympathetically, and i gave ace the happy bday present someone asked me to give to him. he was so surprised it was adorable.
OKAY, NOW FOR THE SNAPSHOTS: so i actually had 7 snapshots but ended up getting 2 with jacob and 2 with ayno instead of one with everyone (which.. if u look above is not a surprise lmfao) so the first snapshot i do is with baron, obviously.. and this ASSHOLE wants to kill me like... for everyone i tried to pick poses that werent too touchy bc a) im not comfortable w that and b) im sure they were all tired of being touched lol so i picked the one where you make fingerhearts while standing next to each other, but NOOOOO
baron decides he doesnt like that pose enough so he literally puts his hands on my shoulders, guides me to a position thats not only in FRONT of him but CLOSER TO HIM than i was originally!!! what the fuck!! thats not all after that he had to lean around me and basically like... he was so fucking close to me oh my god. he smelled so good i need to know where he gets his cologne. also lol when he moved me in front of him i was like... omg are u sure??? im kinda tall.. and he just laughs and smiles and leans into/around me. that picture of me looks so stupid bc i was so.. happy and Not Ready lmao
anyways i go to jacob next and do the e-t touch pose lol since like i said... didnt want touchy ones and he seemed amused that i picked that one. i wonder if it was one of the least popular ones? probably.. and GOD hes rly such a gentleman hottie like i rarely say h*t but.... jacob was hot. since we did the e.t touch pose we had to touch fingertips and (eyes emoji) not to have a hand kink or anything but hes got. really nice hands. long fingers. also lmfao he had long ass fingernails and i kinda joked with him like “youve got longer fingernails than i do!!” and he laughed and smiled at me. and okay i turn to leave like gotta have the next person go but APPARENTLY he wasnt ready for the next person yet...  i literally had to have the staff be like wait! jacob is saying bye to you!!! and i was like WHAT and turned around and ran back to him basically to say bye he was grinning the entire time and he waved his hand and held it up for (i thought) a high five but he grabbed it and i swear i fell for him right there. JACOB WHEN WILL U BE MINE godfjkdgd and i watched him for a little bit but he didnt say bye that enthusiatically to anyone else (that i saw, at least)
then i did the prom pose with st. van, it was adorable. you could tell he was rly trying to interact with everyone and idk what it is about him but i felt comfortable enough to actually do a Touchy pose (the holding arm pose, like prom yknow). we love an amazing leader~
oH i did one with ziu too!! i did the byung byung pose with the hands together and we both looked ridiculous lol. i dont remember much about him except he was so tall wtf taller than i expected.
at this time i keep looking at my pics and THE E.T PIC WITH JACOB??? makes me crack the hell up.... it had to have been fate, obviously. in the pic (from the camera flash, i guess) where our fingers were touching, it just SO HAPPENED THAT THERE WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT......... iconic. jacob n i are meant to be. so i get in line for him again bc i want to show him the pic, but by the time i got up there again i had forgotten. i was also like... ready for a touchy pose with him bc why not. i cant remember what pose i did with him or if anything happened, im sure i was in a trance then lmao. pretty sure he recognized me but i cant be sure. 
then i get in line for ayno and i have two snapshot tickets left, and the staff announces theres only a few mins left so i was like SHIT and figured id just do two with ayno bc i didnt wanna waste any. his line was so long and staff had to keep reminding ppl not to hug/touch him and i felt soooo bad. i picked poses that werent too close to him, and even those in the pic he looked like he was trying to not be close to me lol. i feel so bad for him, im sure he got a lot of weird fans that night. i think he recognized me (again) because he smiled genuinely like he was happy i was there. i think he appreciated that i picked poses that didnt require touching -- he probably had a Lott of that. when the second pic was being printed the staff member laughed at something someone said, but i thought she was laughing at my picture bc i take shit pics and i got offended for a second and so did ayno LMAO but then she explained and i said bye to him and he went back into Idol Mask(TM) and i think that was it. 
i also ate at ihop that night, it was great, we didnt get back to our hotel till after 2am, it felt so... young adult-ish to be out so late lmao. i was very proud at how everything turned out, i dont think i wouldve changed a thing
anyway, long story short: im in love with jacob, baron is a disney prince, ayno shot up my bias list (he was like... last lmao) and i appreciate him as a person. those three were the Big Three, but i still loved meeting the other members. 10/10 would recommend vav
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15001700tt · 6 years
Text
Mix And Match
Jongin X Song Yong Sang (Alex)
werewolf! Prince! Kai x Human! Princess Yong Sang (You)
Part 1    Part 2   Part 3  Part 4   Part 5  Part 6
PART 1
The Pack and Humans have had a peace treaty that kept them hostile towards each other, to further this peace holding the Humans and The Pack decided to take step forward and meet up and hold a peace gathering between the two families.
The day came and Both Kings sat down at the dinner table in the werewolf territory for safety measures. They begin to discuss the measures they need to achieve to uphold the peace even longer as the war continues on. This started when a werewolf mated with a human, it started an uproar and New Age. People were furious but after a while they got over it, the New age started when two different beings mated, it messed with traditional values and biology. They created a new race, before the New Age a werewolf had never imprinted on a human before. The commotion caused the Royal families to take some precaution towards the new findings. Both kingdoms were not heartless, this was something that wasn’t taken light heartedly but also not sadistic, both races decided to not separate the mates from each other so they made a peace treaty that will last a long time.
A new threat rose when the Kims were in power of the Pack and the Songs were in power for the human race. The vampires, weren’t the most vicious out there in this world of supernaturals, because the Fae were the worst, but the races dealt with them long time ago and they don’t bother the species anymore. The Coven wasn’t the friendliest either, but they mostly minded their business.
But now they are out for blood for some reason that occured a long time ago. So to keep the peace with at least someone, the Kings of the Humans and the Pack met to discuss a marriage between their kids. The human Princess, Song Yong Sang and the Pack’s Prince, Kim Jong In. granted it is not the best position that she’s ever been in, but it wasnt the worst. Being a warrior princess and a stubborn daughter wasnt an easy thing that her parents agreed on. But they still love her which is why she’s still here today, she really wanted to fight them on this meeting but she couldn't really do anything about except whine about it. Which she did to her younger cousins Hyun Jin and Ji Mi, step sisters but inseparable since a young age.
“I just dont get why I have to go” she whined, to them the night before as they came to visit and ask her if she’s getting married.
“Its your chance to meet him and decide from there, you’re jumping to conclusions right now, he could be a very kind person, you know” Hyun Jin tried to reason with her.
“But I dont wanna meet him, I am fine being single” she huffed
“You’re being immature, have you ever thought that maybe your parents arent going to marry you off in a jiffy, they’ll probably agree to let him court you first” Ji Mi rolled her eyes at her tactics.
“I am sorry, who’s older here? Cuz its seems to not be the oldest” Hyun Jin teased. Yong Sang rolled my eyes smiling at her.
“Give him a chance you might actually like him, i mean have you ever seen his face? Its angelic, I am sure he’s very kind” Hyun Jin added after a moment with a sigh, again my eyes were completing a circle but this time Ji Mi joined me.
“Is that all you care about?” she grunted kicking her softly. She grinned at us before continuing, “Dont be like that! You know he’s very hot, especially his Nobles? I cant even believe that such fine human beings could exist” she sighed dreamily and very dramatically.
“That’s because they arent, they’re werewolves” Ji Mi deadpanned
“So this is what you guys do on your spare time when I am not around” she mused at them, Hyun Jin and Ji Mi’s cheeks flared red.
“No” Ji Mi denied
“Liar! You admitted that Kyungsoo is hot yesterday!” Hyun Jin accused. The princess burst in laughter when Ji Mi covered her face in embarrassment.
“You guys are tempting me to take you with me tomorrow just to see you guys get all squirmy and shy” she joked. They shook their heads ferociously at her, she smirked.
The next day was spent getting ready for the dinner, she wore a beautiful blue dress with a white shawl, she loves this dress, she sighs in annoyance, ‘such a waste on something so...annoying.’
Her parents complimented her and told her how the night was going to go.
“So once we get there we’re going to have small talk first then once we move to dinner and after we eat, you and him will leave so we can talk about the proposal” the King listed off, while her mother added after him.
“Please be on your best behavior, and try to get along with him because if this ends well you’ll be courted by him for at least two months” her eyes narrowed at the thought but she tried to think positively and instead put a smile on her face. He might be nice.
she kept on repeating that in her head all the way to his front gates. This was her first time seeing their home and it was magnificent. The green was everywhere it reached the lowest ground to the tallest towers. The towers were a royal blue that was appealing to the eyes, it was her favorite color, hence her dress. She mentally groaned, great he’s gonna think she did this on purpose.
Funny, her heart was beating at a crazy speed. She tried to calm it down by taking slow breaths but it didn't help. They reached the front door and were greeted by the King and Queen themselves.They gave off an aura of power and knowledge, it was intimidating. They greeted her parents before turning to the young girl with twinkling kind eyes, they didn't seem that scary anymore.
“Oh my! you are so beautiful” the Queen complimented her causing her to shuffle her feet before forcing herself to stop because ‘princesses dont shuffle their feet when nervous’ her annoying Lady in Waiting’s voice rang in her head, she bowed in respect and thanked her.
“Thank you, your highness”
“Oh no, no formalities please! Were going ot be family just Mrs. Kim is fine.” she waved off her formal greeting.
“Yes i agree with my dear wife Mr. Kim is fine” the king added as i bowed respectively to him too. We made our way inside as the king quickly added, “i apologize for my son’s absence, he got caught up with a meeting concerning our positions in the battle, i am sure he’ll be here within a few moments.” i shook my head and smiled at his apology, at least i dont have to deal with him for now.
Like my father had prepared me, they had a small talk before we moved on to dinner, their son still not showing up. I honestly think this meeting might go faster if he never shows up because then i wont really have talk to him.
Unfortunately my prayers werent answered because midway in dinner the doors opened and came in a strutting tall figure that had an apologetic smile on his face. I Know its him because Hyun Jin shoved a picture in my face last night. My heart decided that beating at an abnormal speed is what it should do when we made eye contact, then tingles spread through my body. It seems that all conversation stopped when he stepped in the room, as we continued to make eye contact my parents cleared their throats, snapping my attention towards them. Noticing how the Prince’s parents were smiling with mirth swimming in their eyes. His eyes turning a quick red before disappearing as if it never happened, i elected to ignore it.
“I apologize sincerely for my absence, i had to deal with a few minor issues regarding the war” he stated with a sweet smile on his face that won my parents over, making them shake their heads in dismissal of his rude action. I mentally rolled my eyes, they probably think hes going to be a great husband. I was fooled except he hasnt done anything bad except be late so i cant really make him a villain, yet.
“Come, come! This is princess Yong Sang from the Song family” the Queen introduced us. I bowed while he took my hand, igniting tingles in my arm and kissed it lightly. My heart fluttered as i scowled at it in my head. I am supposed to not like him. What is this? Is he playing mind tricks on me? As he straightened up again he smiled a very attractive smile at me that made me shoot him a small one back. I swear what my cousins said last night is messing with my brain because now i am considering giving him a chance.
Dinner wasnt uneventual, unlike many others i have been through, he was seated right across from me and he kept on shooting me heart stopping smiles. My heart couldn't take it and i was very relieved when they announced dinner was over but the dread settled when i heard the Queen suggest for the Prince to show me around the castle while they talked. I was not surprised when he agreed and offered his arm for me to take. Making the same feeling tingle up my arm again. I swear i am not going to survive tonight if e keeps doing this to me. As the door shut closed behind us, he turned to me and asked,
“What would you like to see first?”
“What would you suggest?” i asked back curiously, i am going to try to push back all the negative and tingling thoughts and try to enjoy my time here, because at least my parents picked it a beautiful man for me to marry.
“In my opinion the weaponry and the library are the best.” he said after a long pause.
“I would like to see the weaponry then” i confirmed, causing his eyes to widen in shock. I guess i understood his surprise i was in a very restricting dress and i didn't appear to have that kind of likes. I nodded in confirmation when he raised an eyebrow.
“Please, lead the way” i said with a small smile. This boy doesnt even know what hes about to get into.
“Alright, my lady. Would you like to hear about war stories then?” he joked.
“Yes please that would be wonderful”i wanted to add ‘i am curious at what is your choice of weapon’ but i am going to ask later.
So as we walked, he told me stories of the wars he participated in, when we arrived, i was shaking my head laughing.
“Really? How did you think telling a warlord to “shut the fuck up” wouldn’t have consequences?”
” If it makes it any better, I meant it.” he refuted my remark. As we went in, i was already comfortable around. The thought scared me because i just met him, but it feels like ive known him for years. As we walked around i noticed that there was a part of the room he avoids. As i looked closer i understood why, it was silver, i remember that his kind cannot stand silver. It physically burns them.
“I wonder why the Pack’s weaponry has a section with silver laced weapons?” i said outloud pointedly looked at the Prince. He chuckled and turned around.
“Because sometimes even your own kind cant turn against you.”
“Well then how did you use them?” i questioned.
“When we needed those weapons we had a seer enchant them.” he explained vaguely.for now i am going accept this answer.
“So which weapon do you prefer best?” he asked, beating me in asking the question ive been itching to ask.
“I prefer small daggers” i answered, “what aboout you?”
“I am good with swords” i nodded. I have to admit he proved me wrong, i thought he was going to be unpleasant.
“Library next?” i asked. He neared me and nodded his head before tilting his head in a cute puppy kinda way.
“I would like to show you something. But you have to hold onto me” he proposed. I was curious so i gave him an okay sign and held onto his arm. He wrapped his hand on mine and smiled at me mischievously before the world was whirling around me and landed in the ground.
My head was spinning still not understanding what he just did before my eyes sharply looked into his.
“You teleport” he shook his head with a grin on his face. I was still not stable and i was swayed a little too far before he caught me.
“Are you alright?” he questioned, the mirth quickly disappearing from his eyes and worry replacing it.
“I am alright, just still dizzy from that” i gave him a small smile in reassurance. After i steadied myself we made our way inside the awaiting open doors of the huge library. I looked at the books around and quickly turned.
“Ou do know that my parents are here so we could get married, right?”, i totally forgot that werewolves have mates until i remembered when i looked at one of the book’s title.
“Yes i did, originally i had a problem with it” he paused before looking at my eyes deeply, making my stomach churn. “But then i saw how beautiful you are” he added with a slight smirk.
“Oh my god stop, this is serious what about your mate?” i rolled my eyes smiling before turning serious.
“I dont think she’ll mind.” he shrugged. My head didn't comprehend what he just said.
“Excuse me?”  he repeated the sentence again, and i looked at him like he was crazy, which honestly i think he is. He doesnt look like he’s kidding.
“Explain” i deadpanned.
“Shes kinda standing in front of me right now.” he stated with a big smile on his face, it seems my brain is slow today because it took me a full minute to realize hes talking about me.
“I need to sit down” i backed up into a chair, and plopped down.
After a few minutes i spoke again, “so i am your mate, and this is going to work out” i stated, confusing him.
“Look, i wasnt keen on the idea of marrying you, because i was okay being single, and now this whole thing with the mates, i mean ok, so this worked out for both our favors, because you didnt turn out be a complete asshole and i dont actually mind you but like please dont expect me to fall in love with you like...today” i ranted, as he listened, i could tell he wanted to object over a few things that i said but then he just accepted that i am not budging.
“Of course, i didn't expect you to.” i felt like he was going to say more but then the butler interrupted saying that they needed us back.
“I guess i’ll see you later” i said to him as he walked me back to my parents.
“Yeah, i look forward to it.” he smiled at me. And my heart felt like it could burst but i held my breath until we were out of sight. I took a deep breath, this wasnt what i had in mind.
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