#i think the main part of all of that the parts that still fuck me up are the not knowing
"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.."
MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
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Fantasy Turned Reality
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader
Part two for A Twisted Fantasy
Main Masterlist | Cooper Howard Masterlist
Summary: The Ghoul finds you in the woods and punishes you for not running far enough.
Word count: 831
Warnings: reader is able-bodied, uneven power dynamic, oral sex (M receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, irradiated creampie, spanking, pet names (sweetheart), praising, no use of y/n
You were so tired from all the running you did that you fell asleep in the same position; with your hand down your pants. But you didn’t even realize it until a stern voice shook you awake.
“Thought I told you to get the fuck away from here.”
You startle awake and lock eyes with the Ghoul, gulping as he cocks his head to the side, smirking at you menacingly. His eyes leave your face and trail down to the hand in your pants, chuckling as he asks, “What do we have here?”
“Nothing,” you quickly sputter, hastily trying to pull your hand away. But he stops you, his hand enclosing around your wrist.
“Not so fast. There’s three dangerous men after you and you’re worried about playing with yourself in the fuckin’ forest.”
Shamefully, you nod, looking away from him.
His other hand grabs your chin, directing your gaze back to him. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.”
A shiver runs down your spine and the wetness in your cunt grows. Your fantasy may finally be coming to life.
“What were you thinking about?”
“…You.”
“Figures,” he tuts. “I can help you out regarding your little… situation. But first I think you need to be punished.”
“For what?!”
“For not running far enough away, sweetheart.”
He lets go of you, sitting on a large rock a few feet away. His thighs are spread wide in an inviting stance, leaving you aching to sit on his lap. He palms the bulge in his pants.
You sit up, jaw going slack at the sight of him sitting there. Your mind still can’t comprehend that this is actually happening.
“You know what to do,” he says, motioning for you to come closer.
You scramble to your feet, walking over to him and dropping to your knees. You’re face to face with his bulge, salivating at the thought of taking him in your mouth. He reaches out and caresses your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
“Be a good girl for me.”
You nod and reach for the fly of his pants, letting his cock spring free. You take him in your mouth and wrap your hand around the base of his shaft. He curses under his breath, moving the hand on your face to the back of your neck. You look up at him, locking eyes with him as you bob your head up and down. His salty pre-cum leaks in your mouth, mixing with your saliva and making this blowjob wetter and sloppier by the second.
“Fuck, that mouth of yours, sweetheart. It’s perfect.”
You hum in response, sending a vibration down his cock and a shiver up his spine. He curses again and his grip on the back of your neck tightens. You feel him grow harder in your mouth and feel pride in how much you’re pleasing him. You know you can escalate it further so you take your other hand and reach for his balls, cupping them slightly as you work him to the edge. Your eyes remain locked with his, putting on a show for him like such a good girl.
His balls tense up in your hand and you sense he’s at the edge of orgasm. But before you can take him there he cups your face and pulls his cock out of your mouth.
“Wanna come inside that sweet pussy of yours,” he says.
You eagerly stand up, shedding your clothes and waiting for further instructions. He remains where he is and pats on his lap, telling you, “Take your throne, sweetheart.”
You straddle him on the rock and lower yourself onto his cock, feeling it expand your walks. One of his hands holds your waist while the other gravitates to your ass. He gives you a firm spank and says, “Better get to work,” coaxing you to rock your hips back and forth.
You grind yourself against him, placing your hands on his shoulders. His cock hits the deepest, most perfect angles inside you. And he watches with pleasure as you fuck yourself on his cock.
With one last movement of your hips you come undone around his cock, moaning out into the nighttime air. He spanks your ass again as you cum until the sensation draws his own orgasm from him.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praises.
His cum paints your walls and finishes his orgasm with a grunt until his cock eventually goes soft inside you. Reluctantly, you pull yourself off of him and sit beside him. He turns to look at you with a grin and says, “Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant. But I bet you knew that already.”
You nod, still breathless from your high. He returns his cock to his pants and stands up. With a hand on his hip he says, “Now, don’t let me catch you around these parts again.”
And with that, he leaves you naked and alone in the forest, with his cum dripping down your thigh.
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics
Dividers: @saradika-graphics
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🖤💚
for the unpopular opinions asks
:DD Thank you! You get Percy rambles because that's where the brain goes past midnight <3
🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?
Very, very quietly: my yearly reminder to everyone that Percy knew what he was doing when he invented Gun. The entire character concept, per Taliesin, is 'what the fuck could motivate someone to make something this awful'. He did not invent Gun to free Whitestone, he did not invent Gun to rid the world of terrible evil, he invented Gun because he was a terrified and hurt and furious teenager who did not care what consequences there were to his actions so long as he maybe, possibly, might be able to kill some of the people responsible for his family's deaths. Once it does hit him that he will have to live with the consequences, that others will live with this same pain because of the havoc firearms can sow, he definitely feels awful! And wants to undo it as best he can! But it remains that he was a deeply selfish character.
And still is! No Mercy Percy is a fun meme and all, but he really leans into a lot of needless cruelty when he's scrambling for control. Which pops up again even after the Briarwoods arc is all done with - he is absolutely furious at Scanlan and some of what he mildly brings up to Vex is horrifying shit to say you'd do to a friend.
Anyways he's perfectly in character in C3 and I will die on this hill. And get raised as an undead by Delilah because PERCY WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING -
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
OK, so I know we (by we I mean me) all love to point at Percy and go 'this man is autistic please let him infodump about the Feywild/clocks/engineering stupid dragon traps'. But there is a really good reason why everyone was shocked by his backstory reveal in C1, and why he's got so few lines in the first two episodes of TLOVM, and that's because he's pretty fucking quiet. And it's something I didn't fully appreciate until recently, so it's really understandable how often it trips people up!
The main thing is that while Lord de Rolo is usually a man of few words, those words are fucking bangers. While a lot of Vax's famous lines tend to be part of a long Shakespearian ramble (which I love), Percy, as a Taliesin character, is a master of the one-liner. Which tends to get over-represented in our memory compared to how often he says very little at all!
Percy often gets wordy when he has a space to do so (a debate with Keyleth, a bit of Whitestone lore Taliesin wants to yell about, nerding out with Tary who is importantly nerding out right back)... and when he's talking to Vex. God he will not shut up when he's one-on-one with Vex. In his conversations with other characters (Vax and Keyleth namely) he usually keeps his input short unless he's doing some arguing. But with Vex? Just won't stop.
So while I do think infodumping can be compliant with canon Percy, he needs to either be doing it in tandem with someone else (he and Keyleth or Tary being little weirdos), he has to have a solid excuse to indulge in it and feel justified, or he and Vex are alone. (Cass can probably get him to infodump, but given her nature as an NPC there isn't much textual evidence alas.)
Ask me about my unpopular opinions!
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some Thoughts on chapter 13 now that i've finished:
I LOVE HOEDERER.... i already did but like. Really enjoyable to get his POV in this event and see more of his inner thoughts and motivations. I'm fond of characters who are so tired and worn down and jaded, but manage to hold onto some scrap of hope regardless, even against their own better judgment. A lot like Mlynar in that way, tbh.
regrettably this chapter sold me on hoederines a little. i'm CONFLICTED because i love wines so much, dammit. (and manhoe, but there's not as much of a conflict with my headcanons there.) But their relationship is so good regardless of whether you read it as romantic or platonic.
speaking of, Ines was a delight in this chapter. Love her role as the resident non-Sarkaz Sarkaz who is completely unaffected by whatever arcane bullshit is getting to Hoederer and W in any given moment, so she can yell at them to snap out of it and save all of their lives lmao. I love her deep loyalty and care for them that she expresses in everything but words. ugh ugh i love her
the little subplot with Vendela and the Sarkaz commander who tried to keep her safe was sweet and sad, I wish he'd gotten a unique sprite at least. I kind of want to see her meet Flamebringer now and her reaction to the friendship between him and Perfumer... I feel like there's some parallels there.
We're starting to see some payoff to the buildup with Siege in this arc, and I'm so glad! I've never really understood the hate her arc gets - I know it's partly that I'm biased, she was my first 6* so I'm rather fond of her, and I just really like the whole concept of the Glasgow Gang. And I think it doesn't help that ch12 was (imo) the weakest part of act 2 so far. But also, it was always really clear to me that we've been just... laying the groundwork with her up til now, I didn't really expect her to have big moments or turning points yet? Idk. i kind of want to write a whole post about her arc and my thoughts on it at some point. BUT, I really liked her in ch13, seeing her start to really come into her own and how all the events of act 2 up until now have shaped her decisions.
I'M REALLY SAD ABOUT GUARD ACTUALLY??? :( Tbh I have not really cared much about New!Reunion until this chapter, except for Talulah, but I'm finally getting invested. And Talulah's confrontation with Eblana was AMAZING. I've always seen her as a foil to Talulah - while Talulah started down her path with good intentions and ideals, Dublinn seems to have been like late-stage Reunion from the very start, because Eblana has always cared more about seeking power than about the oppression of the people around her. SO FUCKING SATISFYING to see Talulah, of all people, calling her out on that, and protecting Reunion from her. I really hope we get more of these two in future, and also more Reed in main story please please pleeeaseee.
This chapter was wonderfully cohesive with the themes of tradition and bloodlines vs forging a new path. Siege, Delphine and Horn, all beginning to break away from their inherited roles in Victoria's hegemony and fight on their own terms instead. The Kazdel flashbacks, the spacetime feranmut, and Hoederer's POV - a character who wants to see a better future for Kazdel, while still remembering and learning from its past. Nine, Guard and Talulah dealing with what Reunion means as a symbol, and figuring out what it should become. Shining and Nightingale, confronting the Confessarii and their own past. Even Vendela, having to let go of the life and traditions she'd grown up in, the townspeople clinging to familiarity and the hope that things would go back to normal to the point that it was literally going to kill them. The confrontation with the Sanguinarch was such a great culmination of all of this, with his fixation on blood purity and the glorious lost past of the Teekaz. And he's defeated by several people who all soundly reject his vision of what the Sarkaz "should" be - Amiya, the outblood King; Logos, who does have a "pure" bloodline by the Sanguinarch's standards but refuses to be defined by the role he inherited; Hoederer and W, two of the mixed-race "commoner" Sarkaz he's so contemptuous of (and Hoederer specifically rejecting the idea that the Sarkaz's destiny must always be soaked in blood); Ines, who isn't a Sarkaz at all, except she is, because her family is Sarkaz, and she's always going to be one of them. It was! So fucking good!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks to @ninzied for the tag!
How many works do you have on ao3?
120!
What's your total ao3 word count?
1,371,932
What fandoms do you write for?
RWRB, TMFU, Lokius
Top five fics by kudos:
Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood
Nova, Baby
Class(room) Warfare
All the Old Showstoppers
Always Where I Need To Be
Do you respond to comments?
I try. I used to be very good at responding but my backlog has gotten extreme (1491 unanswered comments as of right now, if you're curious) so at this point I pretty much only answer if it's a chapter in an ongoing multichap, or someone asks a question.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I have a caradin fic that's straight up a break-up fic with no resolution, but I still feel like my angstiest is probably Black Moon (napollya), because they're in love but the situation is so fucking bleak. Sorry guys.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Any of them that end with a proposal lol? I've got a lot of fluffy fics and all of my long fics end with pure fluff, so I don't think I could pick out one.
Do you get hate on fics?
I have been lucky not to really get any, at least lately. I've gotten... less than polite comments, of course, but no outright hate (knock on wood).
Do you write smut?
Yes, although I would not say it's an integral part of my writing tbh.
Craziest crossover:
Craziest might be Maybe, This Time, which is a Mandalorian/BSG crossover that involves dimension-hopping lol.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I've had a few of my TMFU works translated and now there's someone in the RWRB fandom that translates most (!!) of my fics into Mandarin, which is mind blowing and flattering and I'm so grateful because I've gotten comments from people who have read them translated and loved them.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not yet!
All time favorite ship?
I don't think I can pick one; some of my past ships are just that—past—but there are a few I will carry in my heart forever.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
If I want to finish it, I will, even if it takes a long time. I might stop wanting to finish a wip, but that's not the question is it?
What are your writing strengths?
Banter/dialogue, action, pacing, plots. People have told me that they can picture my scenes like a movie because of the description and that makes me feel good.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Although I have my moments, I don't really tend to think of my writing as beautiful. I'm just not that poetic/lyrical.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Sure! If it's in my own fic I usually have a native speaker look over it (I haven't done this lately but I have gotten Russian consults for TMFU fics).
First fandom you wrote in?
Xena: Warrior Princess, back when that show was airing. Fanfic primarily distributed over internet mailing lists and posted on your own website.
Favorite fic you've written?
Stealing Nina's idea and doing one in each of my main fandoms I've written in because it's hard to pick (even then this was rough).
Nova, Baby Series—Spy AU, Firstprince
Love is a Losing Game—Chess AU, Napollya (SHOCKER I KNOW)
What Makes a Good Man Series—Spy AU, Lokius
Here It Goes Again—The Mandalorian (Caradin but mostly Din character study in a time loop)
I'm not sure who's been tagged and who hasn't or even everyone who has done this, but a few tags below the cut. If you'd like to do it, jump in!
@kiwiana-writes, @rmd-writes, @three-drink-amy, @cricketnationrise, @14carrotghoul
@leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @inexplicablymine, @firenati0n, @liminalmemories21
@orchidscript, @sparklepocalypse, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @mirilyawrites, @heytheredeann
@nicijones, @justabigoldnerd, @myheartalivewrites
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I do not understand what was going on in Vale’s head after 2015. Like, every time he speaks about Marc he always brings up Sepang and explain how that was the breaking point in their relationship, he doesn’t really talk about Argentina, but at the same time in 2016 they were lowkey getting closer again (?). Then he says that after 2015 he was being polite to Marc only to not waste time, but why? He clearly had no problem to express all his hatred towards him after 2018 so what was the need to act polite and appear fake when he knew damn well that even if he kept talking shit about Marc the journalist and all his fans would have his back. Truly a confusing man, I bet Marc was driving himself insane to try to understand him.
first of all thats a lot of smoke even for my man valentino. like years of smoke. again, hes kind of known as the fun funny guy everybody loves to see win bc he's their silly little elf prince... and yes he's a killer on the track (thats also fun) and hes aware of how to manipulate the public opinion. BUT because of that, i think he's also aware that all of that adoration is something that he can potentially lose or at least have less control over... crowds like jesters when theyre FUN. and when marc's pr strategy at that point about this was 1. ignore it, 2. be very sweet to vale when you see him bc you love him (like he said hi to vale almost every single time they sat next together in 2016. a more sane man wouldve just chilled in contemplative heartbroken silence. not marc ! not my crazy little guy !), being consistently aggressive towards him is a lot less fun for everybody. gives him a lot less power in terms of wielding/controlling that rivalry when he thinks he really needs to. hes NOT lying when he says its easier to just say hi to marc. it is! if he ignored marc every weekend, that would be the story of the weekend. every single time. and i think he learned in the aftermath of sepang how big a story like this could get (we STILL talk about it. marc was answering jorge vs valentino questions THIS WEEK.) and how much they can dominate his life and capture the eyes of the press. kind of inescapably. resigning himself to an eternal retirement of answering questions like how fast do you think marquez will be on the ducati?? (i KNOWWW hes sick rn btw). a monster of his own creation. so i think he learned in malaysia to only go after marc when hes really fucking pissed off. and he was really fucking pissed off in argentina 2018. and unfortunately marc didnt get the hint until then i think.
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i just lost two followers and it's making me laugh because judging by my most recent posts i assume they were diehard royalists? or at least people holding the british royal family in an unusually high regard? cry about it i guess idk, i do find it funny that you give a fuck though
on this note though of my followers holding different beliefs than me - if you're a terf? please kill yourself! i don't usually give a fuck because i just don't have it in me to start a war with everyone i disagree with but like. truly. if you hold any kind of prejudice against trans people whatsoever. fuck off from my blog lol i don't want you here
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okay i'm going to be nicer to totk for real now *deletes most of my drafts*
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hey so. um. i was told that lmk didn't have any pain. and. haha. haha. haHa...what the f
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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!
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Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻♀️
you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!
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Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!
Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...
I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?
So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol
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parting thoughts on ragna crimson (first cour)
i think it was... the first episode? that i didn't really vibe with. felt like a decent enough fantasy, but unremarkable in just about every way
THEN A WEIRD GUY APPEAR
iirc it wasn't until the second week that we really met crimson, which is kind of a shame because imo the show doesn't really start to come together until then. i like ragna well enough, but it's really the combination of the two of them that compels me
always love a duo where they have the same goal, but drastically different personalities/values/modes of operation/etc
always extra love a duo that's like "team up with me, a dragon, to kill all dragons then once we've achieved our goal you'll kill me too"
(like vanoe but with dragons. i think. my memories of vnc are actually very hazy)
and always extra extra love when ayu gets to just do his thing, playing guys who are girls who are guys who are etc etc etc
it's certainly not the best of the season, and still overall fairly unremarkable imo, but also not really bad in any way. if there's one thing i find lackluster i guess it's that i feel like they don't lean enough into this... pseudo-past life thing that ragna has going on (with the powers and presumably memories of his 'older self' passed down to him)
like ragna is still more or less his 'normal' self in terms of personality, which is fine, he's got a fun enough personality, but if he had some like... old man tendencies mixed in there, or if we saw more of his memories with crimson maybe? i don't know, just feels like something more could have been done with that fusion of past and present (or rather future and present)
looking forward to the second cour but at the same time... hoping this series won't be too long lol
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man, october has kind of sucked and not even in any particularly egregious way, just like. a general aura of ugh, which i'm pretty sure is 100% from work (which i'm not enjoying) and school (which i'm also not enjoying) and it SUCKS because coming into october i was so stoked for all the spooky halloweeny stuff like going on a ghost tour or to a pumpkin patch or finding an apple farm or wearing a costume to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, and now it's just like "oops! october's basically over and you've done nothing and the only real emotion you have left is the depression urge to hide under your desk until your responsibilities leave you alone!" and i'm just !!!!!
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sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.
but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia
(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)
but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism
and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.
and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.
it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:
Almost all Muslims are bad and evil
They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him
There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven
Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)
...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS
...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.
DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.
and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:
white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical
god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose
free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained
the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.
but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.
in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.
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