#i think the main part of all of that the parts that still fuck me up are the not knowing
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.."
MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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Fantasy Turned Reality
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader
Part two for A Twisted Fantasy
Main Masterlist | Cooper Howard Masterlist
Summary: The Ghoul finds you in the woods and punishes you for not running far enough.
Word count: 831
Warnings: reader is able-bodied, uneven power dynamic, oral sex (M receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, irradiated creampie, spanking, pet names (sweetheart), praising, no use of y/n
You were so tired from all the running you did that you fell asleep in the same position; with your hand down your pants. But you didn’t even realize it until a stern voice shook you awake.
“Thought I told you to get the fuck away from here.”
You startle awake and lock eyes with the Ghoul, gulping as he cocks his head to the side, smirking at you menacingly. His eyes leave your face and trail down to the hand in your pants, chuckling as he asks, “What do we have here?”
“Nothing,” you quickly sputter, hastily trying to pull your hand away. But he stops you, his hand enclosing around your wrist.
“Not so fast. There’s three dangerous men after you and you’re worried about playing with yourself in the fuckin’ forest.”
Shamefully, you nod, looking away from him.
His other hand grabs your chin, directing your gaze back to him. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.”
A shiver runs down your spine and the wetness in your cunt grows. Your fantasy may finally be coming to life.
“What were you thinking about?”
“…You.”
“Figures,” he tuts. “I can help you out regarding your little… situation. But first I think you need to be punished.”
“For what?!”
“For not running far enough away, sweetheart.”
He lets go of you, sitting on a large rock a few feet away. His thighs are spread wide in an inviting stance, leaving you aching to sit on his lap. He palms the bulge in his pants.
You sit up, jaw going slack at the sight of him sitting there. Your mind still can’t comprehend that this is actually happening.
“You know what to do,” he says, motioning for you to come closer.
You scramble to your feet, walking over to him and dropping to your knees. You’re face to face with his bulge, salivating at the thought of taking him in your mouth. He reaches out and caresses your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
“Be a good girl for me.”
You nod and reach for the fly of his pants, letting his cock spring free. You take him in your mouth and wrap your hand around the base of his shaft. He curses under his breath, moving the hand on your face to the back of your neck. You look up at him, locking eyes with him as you bob your head up and down. His salty pre-cum leaks in your mouth, mixing with your saliva and making this blowjob wetter and sloppier by the second.
“Fuck, that mouth of yours, sweetheart. It’s perfect.”
You hum in response, sending a vibration down his cock and a shiver up his spine. He curses again and his grip on the back of your neck tightens. You feel him grow harder in your mouth and feel pride in how much you’re pleasing him. You know you can escalate it further so you take your other hand and reach for his balls, cupping them slightly as you work him to the edge. Your eyes remain locked with his, putting on a show for him like such a good girl.
His balls tense up in your hand and you sense he’s at the edge of orgasm. But before you can take him there he cups your face and pulls his cock out of your mouth.
“Wanna come inside that sweet pussy of yours,” he says.
You eagerly stand up, shedding your clothes and waiting for further instructions. He remains where he is and pats on his lap, telling you, “Take your throne, sweetheart.”
You straddle him on the rock and lower yourself onto his cock, feeling it expand your walks. One of his hands holds your waist while the other gravitates to your ass. He gives you a firm spank and says, “Better get to work,” coaxing you to rock your hips back and forth.
You grind yourself against him, placing your hands on his shoulders. His cock hits the deepest, most perfect angles inside you. And he watches with pleasure as you fuck yourself on his cock.
With one last movement of your hips you come undone around his cock, moaning out into the nighttime air. He spanks your ass again as you cum until the sensation draws his own orgasm from him.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praises.
His cum paints your walls and finishes his orgasm with a grunt until his cock eventually goes soft inside you. Reluctantly, you pull yourself off of him and sit beside him. He turns to look at you with a grin and says, “Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant. But I bet you knew that already.”
You nod, still breathless from your high. He returns his cock to his pants and stands up. With a hand on his hip he says, “Now, don’t let me catch you around these parts again.”
And with that, he leaves you naked and alone in the forest, with his cum dripping down your thigh.
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics
Dividers: @saradika-graphics
#the ghoul x reader#cooper howard x reader#the ghoul smut#the ghoul x f!reader#the ghoul fanfiction#cooper howard x f!reader#fallout#fallout fanfiction#cooper howard smut#cooper howard#the ghoul
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🖤💚
for the unpopular opinions asks
:DD Thank you! You get Percy rambles because that's where the brain goes past midnight <3
🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?
Very, very quietly: my yearly reminder to everyone that Percy knew what he was doing when he invented Gun. The entire character concept, per Taliesin, is 'what the fuck could motivate someone to make something this awful'. He did not invent Gun to free Whitestone, he did not invent Gun to rid the world of terrible evil, he invented Gun because he was a terrified and hurt and furious teenager who did not care what consequences there were to his actions so long as he maybe, possibly, might be able to kill some of the people responsible for his family's deaths. Once it does hit him that he will have to live with the consequences, that others will live with this same pain because of the havoc firearms can sow, he definitely feels awful! And wants to undo it as best he can! But it remains that he was a deeply selfish character.
And still is! No Mercy Percy is a fun meme and all, but he really leans into a lot of needless cruelty when he's scrambling for control. Which pops up again even after the Briarwoods arc is all done with - he is absolutely furious at Scanlan and some of what he mildly brings up to Vex is horrifying shit to say you'd do to a friend.
Anyways he's perfectly in character in C3 and I will die on this hill. And get raised as an undead by Delilah because PERCY WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING -
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
OK, so I know we (by we I mean me) all love to point at Percy and go 'this man is autistic please let him infodump about the Feywild/clocks/engineering stupid dragon traps'. But there is a really good reason why everyone was shocked by his backstory reveal in C1, and why he's got so few lines in the first two episodes of TLOVM, and that's because he's pretty fucking quiet. And it's something I didn't fully appreciate until recently, so it's really understandable how often it trips people up!
The main thing is that while Lord de Rolo is usually a man of few words, those words are fucking bangers. While a lot of Vax's famous lines tend to be part of a long Shakespearian ramble (which I love), Percy, as a Taliesin character, is a master of the one-liner. Which tends to get over-represented in our memory compared to how often he says very little at all!
Percy often gets wordy when he has a space to do so (a debate with Keyleth, a bit of Whitestone lore Taliesin wants to yell about, nerding out with Tary who is importantly nerding out right back)... and when he's talking to Vex. God he will not shut up when he's one-on-one with Vex. In his conversations with other characters (Vax and Keyleth namely) he usually keeps his input short unless he's doing some arguing. But with Vex? Just won't stop.
So while I do think infodumping can be compliant with canon Percy, he needs to either be doing it in tandem with someone else (he and Keyleth or Tary being little weirdos), he has to have a solid excuse to indulge in it and feel justified, or he and Vex are alone. (Cass can probably get him to infodump, but given her nature as an NPC there isn't much textual evidence alas.)
Ask me about my unpopular opinions!
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some Thoughts on chapter 13 now that i've finished:
I LOVE HOEDERER.... i already did but like. Really enjoyable to get his POV in this event and see more of his inner thoughts and motivations. I'm fond of characters who are so tired and worn down and jaded, but manage to hold onto some scrap of hope regardless, even against their own better judgment. A lot like Mlynar in that way, tbh.
regrettably this chapter sold me on hoederines a little. i'm CONFLICTED because i love wines so much, dammit. (and manhoe, but there's not as much of a conflict with my headcanons there.) But their relationship is so good regardless of whether you read it as romantic or platonic.
speaking of, Ines was a delight in this chapter. Love her role as the resident non-Sarkaz Sarkaz who is completely unaffected by whatever arcane bullshit is getting to Hoederer and W in any given moment, so she can yell at them to snap out of it and save all of their lives lmao. I love her deep loyalty and care for them that she expresses in everything but words. ugh ugh i love her
the little subplot with Vendela and the Sarkaz commander who tried to keep her safe was sweet and sad, I wish he'd gotten a unique sprite at least. I kind of want to see her meet Flamebringer now and her reaction to the friendship between him and Perfumer... I feel like there's some parallels there.
We're starting to see some payoff to the buildup with Siege in this arc, and I'm so glad! I've never really understood the hate her arc gets - I know it's partly that I'm biased, she was my first 6* so I'm rather fond of her, and I just really like the whole concept of the Glasgow Gang. And I think it doesn't help that ch12 was (imo) the weakest part of act 2 so far. But also, it was always really clear to me that we've been just... laying the groundwork with her up til now, I didn't really expect her to have big moments or turning points yet? Idk. i kind of want to write a whole post about her arc and my thoughts on it at some point. BUT, I really liked her in ch13, seeing her start to really come into her own and how all the events of act 2 up until now have shaped her decisions.
I'M REALLY SAD ABOUT GUARD ACTUALLY??? :( Tbh I have not really cared much about New!Reunion until this chapter, except for Talulah, but I'm finally getting invested. And Talulah's confrontation with Eblana was AMAZING. I've always seen her as a foil to Talulah - while Talulah started down her path with good intentions and ideals, Dublinn seems to have been like late-stage Reunion from the very start, because Eblana has always cared more about seeking power than about the oppression of the people around her. SO FUCKING SATISFYING to see Talulah, of all people, calling her out on that, and protecting Reunion from her. I really hope we get more of these two in future, and also more Reed in main story please please pleeeaseee.
This chapter was wonderfully cohesive with the themes of tradition and bloodlines vs forging a new path. Siege, Delphine and Horn, all beginning to break away from their inherited roles in Victoria's hegemony and fight on their own terms instead. The Kazdel flashbacks, the spacetime feranmut, and Hoederer's POV - a character who wants to see a better future for Kazdel, while still remembering and learning from its past. Nine, Guard and Talulah dealing with what Reunion means as a symbol, and figuring out what it should become. Shining and Nightingale, confronting the Confessarii and their own past. Even Vendela, having to let go of the life and traditions she'd grown up in, the townspeople clinging to familiarity and the hope that things would go back to normal to the point that it was literally going to kill them. The confrontation with the Sanguinarch was such a great culmination of all of this, with his fixation on blood purity and the glorious lost past of the Teekaz. And he's defeated by several people who all soundly reject his vision of what the Sarkaz "should" be - Amiya, the outblood King; Logos, who does have a "pure" bloodline by the Sanguinarch's standards but refuses to be defined by the role he inherited; Hoederer and W, two of the mixed-race "commoner" Sarkaz he's so contemptuous of (and Hoederer specifically rejecting the idea that the Sarkaz's destiny must always be soaked in blood); Ines, who isn't a Sarkaz at all, except she is, because her family is Sarkaz, and she's always going to be one of them. It was! So fucking good!
#arknights#i need to properly write up my thoughts on act 2 in general at some point but.#CH13 WAS REALLY GOOD
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks to @ninzied for the tag!
How many works do you have on ao3?
120!
What's your total ao3 word count?
1,371,932
What fandoms do you write for?
RWRB, TMFU, Lokius
Top five fics by kudos:
Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood
Nova, Baby
Class(room) Warfare
All the Old Showstoppers
Always Where I Need To Be
Do you respond to comments?
I try. I used to be very good at responding but my backlog has gotten extreme (1491 unanswered comments as of right now, if you're curious) so at this point I pretty much only answer if it's a chapter in an ongoing multichap, or someone asks a question.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I have a caradin fic that's straight up a break-up fic with no resolution, but I still feel like my angstiest is probably Black Moon (napollya), because they're in love but the situation is so fucking bleak. Sorry guys.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Any of them that end with a proposal lol? I've got a lot of fluffy fics and all of my long fics end with pure fluff, so I don't think I could pick out one.
Do you get hate on fics?
I have been lucky not to really get any, at least lately. I've gotten... less than polite comments, of course, but no outright hate (knock on wood).
Do you write smut?
Yes, although I would not say it's an integral part of my writing tbh.
Craziest crossover:
Craziest might be Maybe, This Time, which is a Mandalorian/BSG crossover that involves dimension-hopping lol.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I've had a few of my TMFU works translated and now there's someone in the RWRB fandom that translates most (!!) of my fics into Mandarin, which is mind blowing and flattering and I'm so grateful because I've gotten comments from people who have read them translated and loved them.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not yet!
All time favorite ship?
I don't think I can pick one; some of my past ships are just that—past—but there are a few I will carry in my heart forever.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
If I want to finish it, I will, even if it takes a long time. I might stop wanting to finish a wip, but that's not the question is it?
What are your writing strengths?
Banter/dialogue, action, pacing, plots. People have told me that they can picture my scenes like a movie because of the description and that makes me feel good.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Although I have my moments, I don't really tend to think of my writing as beautiful. I'm just not that poetic/lyrical.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Sure! If it's in my own fic I usually have a native speaker look over it (I haven't done this lately but I have gotten Russian consults for TMFU fics).
First fandom you wrote in?
Xena: Warrior Princess, back when that show was airing. Fanfic primarily distributed over internet mailing lists and posted on your own website.
Favorite fic you've written?
Stealing Nina's idea and doing one in each of my main fandoms I've written in because it's hard to pick (even then this was rough).
Nova, Baby Series—Spy AU, Firstprince
Love is a Losing Game—Chess AU, Napollya (SHOCKER I KNOW)
What Makes a Good Man Series—Spy AU, Lokius
Here It Goes Again—The Mandalorian (Caradin but mostly Din character study in a time loop)
I'm not sure who's been tagged and who hasn't or even everyone who has done this, but a few tags below the cut. If you'd like to do it, jump in!
@kiwiana-writes, @rmd-writes, @three-drink-amy, @cricketnationrise, @14carrotghoul
@leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @inexplicablymine, @firenati0n, @liminalmemories21
@orchidscript, @sparklepocalypse, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @mirilyawrites, @heytheredeann
@nicijones, @justabigoldnerd, @myheartalivewrites
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I do not understand what was going on in Vale’s head after 2015. Like, every time he speaks about Marc he always brings up Sepang and explain how that was the breaking point in their relationship, he doesn’t really talk about Argentina, but at the same time in 2016 they were lowkey getting closer again (?). Then he says that after 2015 he was being polite to Marc only to not waste time, but why? He clearly had no problem to express all his hatred towards him after 2018 so what was the need to act polite and appear fake when he knew damn well that even if he kept talking shit about Marc the journalist and all his fans would have his back. Truly a confusing man, I bet Marc was driving himself insane to try to understand him.
first of all thats a lot of smoke even for my man valentino. like years of smoke. again, hes kind of known as the fun funny guy everybody loves to see win bc he's their silly little elf prince... and yes he's a killer on the track (thats also fun) and hes aware of how to manipulate the public opinion. BUT because of that, i think he's also aware that all of that adoration is something that he can potentially lose or at least have less control over... crowds like jesters when theyre FUN. and when marc's pr strategy at that point about this was 1. ignore it, 2. be very sweet to vale when you see him bc you love him (like he said hi to vale almost every single time they sat next together in 2016. a more sane man wouldve just chilled in contemplative heartbroken silence. not marc ! not my crazy little guy !), being consistently aggressive towards him is a lot less fun for everybody. gives him a lot less power in terms of wielding/controlling that rivalry when he thinks he really needs to. hes NOT lying when he says its easier to just say hi to marc. it is! if he ignored marc every weekend, that would be the story of the weekend. every single time. and i think he learned in the aftermath of sepang how big a story like this could get (we STILL talk about it. marc was answering jorge vs valentino questions THIS WEEK.) and how much they can dominate his life and capture the eyes of the press. kind of inescapably. resigning himself to an eternal retirement of answering questions like how fast do you think marquez will be on the ducati?? (i KNOWWW hes sick rn btw). a monster of his own creation. so i think he learned in malaysia to only go after marc when hes really fucking pissed off. and he was really fucking pissed off in argentina 2018. and unfortunately marc didnt get the hint until then i think.
#also. lmao. marc is veryyyyyy good on that bike when motivated by spite. like that was the main problem in the actual race part of sepang#marc decided to ruin vale's day specifically bc vale ruined his ! and marc is smart.#so while he was being annoying he was also doing it within the RULES. and i think ole man valentino didnt super want that heat.#like every weekend. a big fuck you. although to be fair marc was dominating for years after so he had bigger fish to fry....#still thinking of that lovely podcast clip about vale pulling out all the mindgames and tricks on marc that had worked with his other rival#and marc being the WORST possible person to do that to. uno reverse card and now VALE is out of sorts.... kind of hot.#motogp#asks#callie speaks#rosquez#ask me about marc during that period i have more narrative thoughts and less psychoanalysis if anyone would like 2 hear it
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i just lost two followers and it's making me laugh because judging by my most recent posts i assume they were diehard royalists? or at least people holding the british royal family in an unusually high regard? cry about it i guess idk, i do find it funny that you give a fuck though
on this note though of my followers holding different beliefs than me - if you're a terf? please kill yourself! i don't usually give a fuck because i just don't have it in me to start a war with everyone i disagree with but like. truly. if you hold any kind of prejudice against trans people whatsoever. fuck off from my blog lol i don't want you here
#ive got the shinigami eyes extension right#and sometimes i see people in my notes flagging up red#but i hate blocking people is the thing like i just don't do that#if someone who flags red reblogs me more than twice i'll block them though#but mostly i'm like. i don't want to block people. so i don't#but it's still like ohhhh my god. how are you reblogging my posts about dan and phil as a full on transphobe!!!!!#and dont be worried cause i vet all of these blogs#bc i know shinigami eyes isnt fool proof#sometimes someone gets marked red and they aren't actually a terf they just said one thing at one time that got misconstrued#like the bot isnt all that moderated#so any time i see a red url i will investigate to make sure they are in fact a terf#but man. MANNNNNN#my main point is like#do yall know dnp would fucking hate you lmfao#even if you somehow ignore the part where dan doesnt give a fuck about gender and none of it is real#and hes happy with all pronouns#like u can refer to her by he she they#doesnt matter#even if you ignore that#and all of the rest of it#how do you hear the things dnp say. frequently. all the time. and go. yeah i think me. a transphobe. should keep watching them#MAN IDK#youre all fucking weird
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okay i'm going to be nicer to totk for real now *deletes most of my drafts*
#bwark#god i'm fucking trying to have some kind of epiphany here where i can have it all click and be like ''even if i have my problems i can still#get enjoyment out of it'' but this game makes it so damn difficult#''i can discuss the story'' wait nope can't. story sucks ass and butt#''what about the exploration? that was the best part of botw'' uh no can't do that when the surface is practically the same and there's no#substance to the sky or the depths#''gameplay?'' i don't like ultrahand. which sucks when that's 90% of the gameplay#i respect the work that must've gone into it and the creativity it's drawn from fans but making one gameplay aspect literally ALL YOU DO#runs the risk of alienating people who can't get behind#and sure other zelda games have their gimmicks but it's different#like take tp for example. i get that the wolf mechanic isn't for everyone. but aside from the early game twilight sections and a few sparse#puzzles in the later game you're never really forced to play as wolf so it doesn't overstay its welcome#god i just remembered that totk turned wolf link into meat chunks. another thing they took from us 😔#actually on that genuinely why couldn't they just bring him back?#like you're reusing a ton of shit from botw anyway??#which brings me back to my main point is that anything that isn't new is just. botw again#shrines are back but they're uglier. dungeons are the divine beasts but in a new coat of paint#why did they add more shrines to the game anyway? like you'd think they'd at least lower the number because fans didn't want them to return#the SINGULAR leg up i can think of id the bosses. yeah i love botw and i'll hold my hands up and say that a lot of the common complaints for#it don't bother me personally but yeah the blights absolutely sucked#divebombing colgera with the dragon roost theme playing was the closest thing that this game came to giving me an experience#okay i'll shut up now I'M GOING TO BE NICE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME
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hey so. um. i was told that lmk didn't have any pain. and. haha. haha. haHa...what the f
#🅰️non talks#lego monkie kid#*glares at ceres* I TRUSTED YOU#/silly#gOOOOOOOOD MK YOU SILLY TRAUMATIZED BOY#HUGGING YOU AND SQUISHING YOU AND CODDLING YOU IN MY HEAD AS I AM TYPING THIS#(i also hope that there is more to it where that came from cuz im on s2ep9 rn and i want to really DWELL on the sadness and angst potential#(cuz from what i'm seeing in the main earlier episodes (I AM NOT COMPLAINING WHATSOEVER I DO KNOW THAT THIS IS STILL A KID'S SHOW))#(forgiveness is very easy to come by in the main cast)#(i wanna explore trying to give them more negative aspects like holding grudges (either visible or invisible) and showing remnants of ptsd#from earlier encounters)#(just idk man I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH GIVING EVERYTHING JUST A PINCH OF REALISM OK???? angst is my lifeblood you all should know that /lh)#edit: ok i just reread their response to my ask and turns out i accidentally left out the part where they told me there IS pain#oh#ahem#ahem...#edit2: I AM AN IDIOT. I FORGOT TO SEPARATE THIS EARLIER BUT PTSD IS **NOT** A NEGATIVE ASPECT AND I AM SO SORRY FOR MAKING IT OUT TO BE ONE#PTSD IS VALID AND THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE PTSD DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE AND HAPPY FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES#FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T THINK THE SAME OK BYE
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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!
#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to#that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know#but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look#like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies#dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS#plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song#and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal#again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like#yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more#OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit#love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning#im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY#i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy#but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like#emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness#its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool#addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic#but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys#this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like#the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth#but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd#i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying#about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement
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Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻♀️
you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!
#your only REAL handicap is that you're missing out on references that clue you into the context of the story early on#and quite a few references in the finale. but none of those references are hugely necessary to understand the plot so you should be fine!#i didn't DISLIKE the origial and like i said im glad i watched it first but it was. REALLY hard to get into.#even as someone who understands writing trends & enjoys a lot of older anime trigun is. a product of its time.#there's almost no context given for the story you're witnessing until a good 20 episodes in.#the main villain isn't named at all until halfway through the runtime#and even TWO EPISODES BEFORE THE FINALE i still did not have enough information to fully understand what the hell was going on#vash was going into the final fucking battle and i still didn't know what knives WAS let alone what the fuck he WANTED#not to mention nick was FULLY DEAD and i still didnt know what his deal was. like ok go off king have ur moment bleeding out in the church#but can you EXPLAIN WHATS GOING ON BEFORE YOU SUCCUMB TO THE BLOOD LOSS PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD#stampede does that whole thing WAY better imo. it sprinkles the backstory more naturally throughout the show#again. part of this is 90s writing conventions. but there's only so much i can take fr#it was like comparable to evangelion in terms of LACK OF CONTEXT#anyways. this isnt supposed to be me complaining about the original. it had its moments. i watched 24 episodes of it like it was not BAD#but like. i think the story really benefits from the way that stampede chooses to lay everything out. is what im saying.#tldr watch them in whatever order but if you like stampede try the original#you might not like it more than stampede but you WILL feel cool when you realize how it all relates to stampede#asks#vash is also WAAAAAY sexier in stampede. HOWEVER. the women of the show are like 10 times sexier in the original. so. pick your poison ig
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Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!
Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...
I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?
So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol
#speculation nation#ive been wanting to go back into reading the manga again#ive only slowly (VERY slowly) been puttering along with where i am in my fic#for research purposes with the fic.#i do want to go back through the manga bc i STILL havent done a full reread of it#ive just reread so many different parts of it for assorted research that im probably getting to some 10 or so reads total lmao#i wanna reread it in full tho front to back to sort out any stray details and remember any timeline things i might have slightly skewed.#the problem with reading the manga though. is that every fucking time i look at it. i am consumed by a drive to research EVERY little thing#so me reading turns into 'hm thats interesting. that reminds me of this thing that i know happens in volume 8. let me just check that now--'#and i end up so dreadfully distracted every damn time. bc i end up with all my wires crossed and my attention pointing a million ways#it's exhausting. and so i havent been reading the manga outside of random research dives.#im very good at that. i know every volume of the manga and can find Anything within 1 or 2 mins (at the Most)#which is also kind of the problem lol. fingers in too many pies. so many things to think about.#if i get back into Actually rereading the manga tho you can bet ur ASS ill find more things to make posts about#every time i open up the manga i find new things that i could analyze.#i just havent. bc i dont have time. but. ykno what. maybe i Could get back into it...#remind me later. this is one of my favorite fucking fights with my favorite Fucking panels#and i realized smth about the shit Vash is doing that was making me lose my MINDDDD#later tho. ive been sleep deprived today. and it is time for me to rest.#& yea yea ITNL is still the main focus. but idk i have such a mind for details and i remember So many things about the manga#i wanna show that off to people again. and thus. Analyses!!! :D#later. goodnight for now
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parting thoughts on ragna crimson (first cour)
i think it was... the first episode? that i didn't really vibe with. felt like a decent enough fantasy, but unremarkable in just about every way
THEN A WEIRD GUY APPEAR
iirc it wasn't until the second week that we really met crimson, which is kind of a shame because imo the show doesn't really start to come together until then. i like ragna well enough, but it's really the combination of the two of them that compels me
always love a duo where they have the same goal, but drastically different personalities/values/modes of operation/etc
always extra love a duo that's like "team up with me, a dragon, to kill all dragons then once we've achieved our goal you'll kill me too"
(like vanoe but with dragons. i think. my memories of vnc are actually very hazy)
and always extra extra love when ayu gets to just do his thing, playing guys who are girls who are guys who are etc etc etc
it's certainly not the best of the season, and still overall fairly unremarkable imo, but also not really bad in any way. if there's one thing i find lackluster i guess it's that i feel like they don't lean enough into this... pseudo-past life thing that ragna has going on (with the powers and presumably memories of his 'older self' passed down to him)
like ragna is still more or less his 'normal' self in terms of personality, which is fine, he's got a fun enough personality, but if he had some like... old man tendencies mixed in there, or if we saw more of his memories with crimson maybe? i don't know, just feels like something more could have been done with that fusion of past and present (or rather future and present)
looking forward to the second cour but at the same time... hoping this series won't be too long lol
#crab watches#ragna crimson#parting thoughts#i feel like... this isn't really a criticism but#much like vnc i feel like the main draw for me here is the Final battle#where it goes from ragna and crimson to ragna vs crimson#so it feels like the type of series that really shouldn't be dragged out for too long#unless each of the fights are going to be genuinely exceptional (which they're... not)#(like they're not bad. they're fine. but it's no snv)#anyway i guess it's just. the appeal of this kind of set-up (to me) is seeing these fools work together#possibly get attached#and have a very dramatic/emotional/well-choreographed final fight#toxic doomed yaoi and all that#but ragna and crimson don't really seem to be going in that direction like there's no fondness there lmao#which i actually like!! it's a bit unexpected and makes their dynamic fun in a refreshing way#they're working together but fully committed to fucking hating each other (or at best Not Caring about each other) and i love that for them#but it's just like. well if there's not going to be some intense character/relationship development#then the enjoyment of the series hinges all on the fights which are okay but not Spectacular#so... basically i'm still interested for now but don't think that interest would last for more than like 18 volumes max#and seeing as the manga is already 13 volumes and still counting... well we'll see
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man, october has kind of sucked and not even in any particularly egregious way, just like. a general aura of ugh, which i'm pretty sure is 100% from work (which i'm not enjoying) and school (which i'm also not enjoying) and it SUCKS because coming into october i was so stoked for all the spooky halloweeny stuff like going on a ghost tour or to a pumpkin patch or finding an apple farm or wearing a costume to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, and now it's just like "oops! october's basically over and you've done nothing and the only real emotion you have left is the depression urge to hide under your desk until your responsibilities leave you alone!" and i'm just !!!!!
#//ignore me while i ramble into the void#AND i have a doctor's appointment this week AND the main part of my costume is still at my parents' house#AND i have a billion fucking assignments that will probably take into the weekend#which means even IF we were still maybe thinking of going camping i'm not going to be able to#it sucks! it all sucks and i can't even be mad about it bc i just get a 404 emotion not found error on anything other than ''hugely bummed'
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sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.
but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia
(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)
but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism
and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.
and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.
it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:
Almost all Muslims are bad and evil
They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him
There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven
Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)
...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS
...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.
DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.
and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:
white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical
god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose
free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained
the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.
but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.
in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.
#red said#i love these books. i love the last battle especially.#fuck me they're awful philosophically though#they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life.#and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them.#and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of#christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff#like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way#and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy#really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child#it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience.#like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas#which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them?#they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers#(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW)#but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think#like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path#as long as you come back#and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it#like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is.#if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over#tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd#puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns#he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful#because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart#now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT#reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt.#buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised#by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith#like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort
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