you’re allowed to take up space. you’re allowed to have fun. you’re allowed to live freely and deliciously. you’re allowed to live now.

then what is it about?

sam and dean + the Big Unspoken Thing

02.27.24 - 1:31 pm

“looking back on it, it feels like it was all a lie. i feel dumb that i believed everything he told me. do you think he ever actually loved me?” she asks quietly. “yeah, he truly loved you. he loved you so much,” he says, because he knew for certain that he did. for the longest time, she was all he ever talked about. and if he was being honest, it had gotten a little annoying; but it was okay… because he was happy. he talked about her like she had hung the moon and put the stars in the sky with her own two hands. “then why does it feel so wrong? why would he break my heart like this?” “he loved you–” he pauses to swallow. it would be better to just rip off the bandaid and tell her the truth. “but he just wasnt ready for it to hit him that hard.”

- S.H. // things ive never said #16 (via 2amthoughts)

Khalid Hosseini // @8-bitfiction // Anne Sexton

I am not a failure.

I have lived my life as best as I could not knowing its purpose. And yet here I stand through it lost and afraid of all that lies before me. This fear has crippled me, stived me even. Feeling unable to move forward, not even left or right. Feeling as if I can only move backwards, or not move at all. Such a terrible feeling to have. Living in a world where all I can do is fail over, and over again without any success to call my own in sight. I've felt nothing but shame in every indeever.

But I can no longer continue to live a life like this. I can't keep living like this. To live in fear may be scary, but that is what comes with life itself. We stumble and fall no matter what we do, and we have to learn to stand up for ourselves in these constant moments in life. Stand up from whatever comes our way. Whatever comes our way, we have to do what we can to live. No matter what it may be.

Mountains crumbling before our very eyes as they make way to crush us from fallen debris. Earths shattering right below our feet taking us into its endless darkness. Fire surrounding us burning our bodies to nothing more than smoke and ash. And yet, it's so strange we somehow manage to find the will to pull ourselves together and push ever forward.

I can no longer let these very things stop me from living a life that a dream for, that I yern for. It doesn't have to be anything glammerous. It just has to be a life that I choose to live. Because we are not the some of our failures. We are the architect of our own lives. And I will prove it by doing what I feared to do my entire life. Live.

Some dark circles tells a tale of unspoken sadness...

And some dark circles tells a tale of a long distance love...

Can't you see it? How crazy I am for you... how madly I am in love with you, that it was hurting me but you don't because you are "too busy" with what's going inside your life to notice that it was affecting me too.

maybe you were ‘too much’ but maybe it also doesn’t matter one bit

there's a wall of air between us

heavy, thick with past

it carries the weight of unspoken words

locked inside our hearts

Vintage 1970s Avon Unicorn 🦄🌸 Unspoken Ultra Cologne. 🌼🌿

Surely, surely, he had to say something. But no. He said nothing at all . . .

Curtis Sittenfeld, from Eligible

02.23.24 - 2:12 am

“you know… sometimes if i close my eyes and concentrate hard enough… i can still hear your voice calling out to me.” she starts. “please, dont–” she doesnt let him finish. “sometimes im glad that i remember the sound of your voice… it brings me comfort during the times i need it the most. but other than those times, i wish i never knew what the sound of your voice was to begin with. i still hear you calling my name… but in the the way you used to say it, the way that made me believe in love. but now every time i hear my name… my heart knows its no longer the same.” “i dont understand… why?” he says as he looks down. it was almost as if he was talking to himself. “because you rarely called me by my name. you would always call me love or baby… but rarely by my actual name. but when you called me by my name… you made me feel like i just won the lottery. you would shout my name out as you ran toward me after not seeing each other in a while… each time it would make my heart burst with joy. you would chant my name out loud for all to hear when you were proud of me… each time my heart would burst with joy. you would gasp my name when we were laughing so hard we were crying and could no longer breathe… each time my heart would burst with joy. you would repeat my name in a sing-song voice when you had good news to tell me… each time my heart would burst with joy. but my favorite time you would say my name was when i pretended to be asleep. you would tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss my forehead… then whisper “i love you sakura,” and my heart would burst with joy… each and every time.” she forces out. she swallows the lump in her throat as she holds herself back from choking on her tears. “so what happens when i say your name now… sakura?” he murmurs while avoiding eye contact. but she could already see it in his eyes, the desperation of trying to hold in his tears. she smiles a little to herself, knowing that the things she was sharing were getting through to him. “my heart just burst… but no longer with joy–” “so now… whenever i hear my name, it no longer holds the same meaning that it once did. its the name of someone who no longer exists… its the name of someone who was happily in love. so now… all i hear when i hear my name is you saying “i cant do this any more sakura.” but instead of my heart bursting, my heart breaks a little more and more each time.” “im sorry sakura.” he looks up at her with tears in his eyes. she nods her head and turns away before he can read her eyes.

“yeah… that one too… i hear that sometimes, too.” she says then walks away. he cant see her face, but he can hear it in her voice. the sound of her tears. but the loudest sound he could hear was the sound of her heart breaking as it shattered in her chest all over again.

- S.H. // things ive never said #9 (via 2amthoughts)

If I lose one day

know that it's not your fault.

My unhealthy mind

spread lies, suffocating the joy

in the small things

leaving nothing but bare surroundings

and my life was never mine

to begin with, my letter was

never addressed to you.

I miss that girl I use to be,

in your eyes I can see

you don't recognize

the monster that has eaten me.

Let that memory rest in your soul

and hold on it like the last note

For it will be the only one you'll ever have.

If I go, know it was never your fault.

I was just not meant for this world

It was frighten, cold and empty

A brittle smile could never make me whole,

just sustain the image of light.

It's time to let go

Feel what you need

love me like the girl I use to be

for my letter was never addressed to you.

yall i really, really was not expecting to become a kayn stan. when heartsteel first dropped i was like "ok. yone and k'sante. that's what i'm here for i've picked my faves" NOPE. shieda kayn has hit me like a bus.