Hello, first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! I hope you had a happy birthday today !

I recently read your recent fic (The Sun eats the Moon) and the writting was amazing. But I have some question in my mind like :

"After that maybe 'Reader' could take contraception in secret, no ?"

"Is she (or they) gonna end up married to him, and forced to be a housewife or just following him where he goes ?" honestly I think her destiny is tragic no matter the result.

"How did he react to her disappearance, did he tried to find her (honestly my question was why he didn't ask her parents or search where did she goes, but honestly its a good thing that he didn't search) ? And during 10 years, how was to him ?" Maybe the only thing we can say "good" about him is he will only looking toward her and not any women after THAT day...?

And last question, I was wondering what will happen to them after THAT day like I know fr that in the media there will be news, but honestly I think the conclusion is well writting, the fact you first introduce the concept about the Moon and conclued with the detailed about the Moon and how tragic the ending is for them (Moon and 'Reader'). And if you are going to a Geto's it's will also be interesting because he was there to.

Sorry for the long message (eng isn't my first language) and thanks you to read that ! Have a nice day or night !

Thank you!!!!!!All great great great questions! I'll try to answer them as best as I can before giving tooo much away lol:

Why cant Ms.Moon take contraception?

yes Ms.Moon (that's my nickname for the mc now lol) could definitely try to take contraception in secret but I don't think it'll be a good ending if Gojo finds out. In the comments of the fic, many ppl were pointing out that Gojo was intentionally trying to get Ms. Moon pregnant back when they were "dating" buuuut it was sort of an afterthought for him. His logic was 'oh well it doesn't matter either way. you're staying with me regardless' but now that he's seen that Ms.Moon is 100% willing to leave him his next course of action is 'k well can't do that if you have a kid'. It's really not about Ms.Moon having a baby, rather it's insurance that bestie won't just dip again. He cares about you more than any kid you'd make together (awww thats so....sweet???)

Will Gojo force Ms.Moon to get married?

Probably, he's a romantic at heart teehee. But also he loves the attention. Part of the reason he was so effective in "keeping" Ms.Moon (in high school) was largely due to public pressure. Now, where he's basically a celebrity, his obsession with the spotlight has only increased. He's gonna be on talk shows and never shy about your relationship to the press. Gojo will definitely describe your relationship as 'newly reunited highschool sweethearts'. People at work will definitely bombard you for the details, and you were never one to be defiant so you'd probably just mutely agree with him (that's why he loves you so much: you're so agreeable). He'd make sure your wedding is the biggest celebration of the year. And then he'd drag you to Aruba or something for yalls honeymoon:)

Why didn't Gojo try to find Ms. Moon?

He did! When you dipped (graduated early and left for college) he went ballistic. I totally forgot to add this in, but Gojo is a huge reason why Ms.Moon doesn't talk to family anymore/anyone in that town. You didn't even tell your parents what college you were headed off to. I bet Gojo harrassed your family for a bit, because he's Gojo Satoru, but when it's clear you just disappeared I bet he was depressed. As terrible as he was, he did love you. It was also a pride thing for him. No one's ever 'won' against him, and you technically did. He'd greatly underestimated you and you got away. I bet he'd be a little impressed at that. I think in the fic it was greatly implied that he was searching for you buuuut eventually he forgot because he got so busy with his life. He still thought about you, but its was probably more along the lines of 'damn, can't believe i lost that bitch' And then you unceremoniously fell from the sky. Surprising, but he's grateful. It was fate to meet you again or was it? *cackles in omniscient author*

The Aftermath

Yeah, you're not living a normal life after that ever again. You're moving in with him, he's getting that marriage certificate ready bye bye freedom. I don't think he'd lock you up, buuuut having a security detail on you at all times, putting a tracker in your phone, and constantly calling/texting you is pretty close to life in prison right? EVENTUALLY, he'd limit your social network, then not-so-gently encourage you to quit your job. By the end of it, you'll be his little housewife but I think he'd be nice about it. (kind of)

Kay to me is an underrated character, she is so over-hated in my eyes and it’s understandable in the sense that Michael is the ‘protagonist’ and Apollonia was the best match for this protagonist that we follow however there are many things to say in Kay’s defence and why she should not be as overlooked as she is.

I’ll start of with the obvious, she fell in love with a sweet, kind-hearted man who fought for his country and wanted nothing to do with his family’s “business”. Instead of judging him on the bases of his family and arguing that she cannot be with him because of what his father does, she judged him by his own character and his own autonomy to choose what he does. That in its self is a very overlooked factor about Kay, she judges Michael on his own self and has the heart to do so, she loves Michael despite what his family is like and not many people do that. She was shocked to say the least when Michael told her about the story of how Johnny Fontaine became famous yet she still listened to Michael’s classic “it’s my family Kay not me”.

Michael decided to avenge his fathers shootings and proceeds to evacuate to Sicily to seek refuge as he had just committed murder. Kay is left in the dark in all of this, she even proceeds to tell Michael that she’s called and written over a hundred times and he never answered, he left and got married to another woman, whom I adore very much and I know that if he stayed with Apollonia the godfather would have been a completely different story and Michael would have not been as tragic of a character, but Kay was not told about any of this. She did not receive any closure and tried to still keep in contact with the man she loves. She then of course gives up because you can only try so much when the person you love does not reply to anything.

Then of course Michael returns to Kay because Apollonia has died and he has to come back to America, it’s so overlooked how manipulated Kay was in that scene. Her kindness was taken advantage of and her emotion too. She was vulnerable and that vulnerability was used. Michael tells her that in five years their family business will be legitimate and that his father is no different from a senator or a lawyer which in fact is not false, however in Kay’s eyes since she was very naive at this point, she did not understand all the evil that goes on with powerful people even politicians and senators. He gets her back together with him because of her kind heart and proceeds to lie to her a lot. Including the classic lie about killing Carlo.

He has taking advantage of her naivety to the point where she had to act on the worst, her kindness was truly taken for weakness and because of that she knew what was at stake for her family. In a deleted scene of ‘the godfather part II’ Anthony runs up to Michaels button men and Kay runs after him to stop him. This shows how corrupt her and Michaels son Anthony is becoming. She knew she had to get Anthony away from this toxic world or he would end up like all the men that surround him. “Look what’s happened to our son” she screams at Michael later on in the film and “Anthony’s friends are your button men” which is what this scene was foreshadowing. Her anger is seen to her son becoming in a corrupt state of mind, he’s an insecure little boy who rarely sees his father yet looks up to him so much, of course there was much for Kay to worry about.

Going back to how Michael told Kay that the family will be legitimate in 5 years “well that was 7 years ago” Kay rightfully states. She can tell at the height of Michaels power he will never change, he has been don for 7 years now and has not backed out. His father was avenged yet he’s still continuing because once you’re up it’s unlikely you will come down and Kay can see that very clear with Michael as he did not keep the promise he made to Kay. She knew that no matter how much longer she would stay Michael would never change his ways even when he says “I swear I’ll change I’ve learnt I have the strength to change” Kay saw right through that because of all the lies she has been subjected to.

Over all this abuse to her lead to Kay leaving Michael in one of the cruellest ways, taking away his unborn child and attempting to take away his children. Was it cruel yes, however it was very much justified in the sense that Michael has abused her psychology for years, she only wanted to escape. She was physically trapped and mentally trapped in a world she hated and did not want to subject her children to and that in itself took a lot of strength. We all clearly know that the abortion hurt Michael but nobody ever thought about the pain Kay went through, physical and psychological, those are only of the abortion. This is her child that she was going to love as well, yet she felt she had no other choice but to get an abortion. There is also the pain of getting to the stage of the abortion, Kay’s emotions in all of the godfather is ver under-appreciated she is also a tragic character.

I will conclude all of this with a thesis of Kay being a misunderstood character who is over-despised and equally as tragic. Michael wanted a western independent woman and when he got that woman he couldn’t handle her, everything that came from Kay was very justified and Michael while he will always be my favourite character it has to be understood that he was a psychopath who was always within the depth of his own loneliness Kay was subjected to Michael’s powerful ‘wrath’ and did what she had to do.

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

saw the Joker!Desmond idea & the tags about the LoA & a bunny emerged! so here u go for the bunnyvault: Desmond reborn as Talia Al Ghul's twin brother. it would be a little nightmarish with the Leader of Assassin Group Father (with extra crazy) in a death cult, but there would be room for funny bits. like Desmond just Judging Talia's taste in men. *gestures to ALL of Bruce's everything* WHY? R U into this man? doting on/teaching damian the Creed in secret. accidentally leading a schism in the League. * over 200 yrs & what have we actually accomplished "Dad"?* bullying his sorta brother in law. idk

The ask that inspired this one about Joker!Desmond AU which had these tags:

#ngl #the idea of desmond being the leader of the league of assassins #would be a fun idea #especially if we set this before cassandra runs away #so we can have a mentally unstable desmond #try to raise a socially awkward cassandra #it would be both funny #and also a bit tragic

So… Desmond went from one fucked up family to another fucked up family. XD

I think it could be debated on who is a worse father, Ra’s Al Ghul or William Miles lol.

Anyway, he would have a strained relationship with his family, not just with his new father. For one, he and Talia would have grown up being pitted against one another and their competition would be ‘nourished’ by their own father. Talia would probably respect him and care for him as her twin brother but loathe him as her rival because he was a prodigy in the eyes of the League.

Desmond, for his part, would try to be the nice brother (relying heavily on Ezio’s Bleed for help) but Talia can be quite a handful when she feels like it so there’s a bit of annoyed older brother vibe to how Desmond deal with Talia sometimes.

Which would be funnier if Desmond is actually the younger of the twins XD

Also, let’s not forget that the Lazarus Pit is used to ensure that they do get to live that long so… Desmond’s mental state post-Bleeding Effect? It definitely takes a hit every time he uses the Lazarus Pit.

The first time it happens, Desmond didn’t know the extent of the Lazarus’ Pit powers. He had grown up in an isolated ‘community’ (again) and in an unknown world (let’s say that Desmond’s world doesn’t have DC in it) so he just figured it’s one of those long honored tradition.

Then he emerged from the Lazarus Pit and… he sees Altaïr in the crowd of league members…

He doesn’t go to the pit regularly. Not as much as their father but…

He sees them… walking around, always near but too far at the same time.

Then an accident happened and Desmond was dunked into the Pit once more. He was too valuable to let die after all (and maybe… Ra’s Al Ghul did care for him in his own twisted way but, then again, so did William Miles).

When he emerges from the Lazarus Pit, he could hear them.

They talk to him now.

They support him, give him tips and suggestions…

They make him feel… warm.

A warmth that he rarely felt in this place. A warmth that he had only felt maybe once or twice from his father, more times with his twin but they would be so short they felt like they were already fleeting by the time Desmond felt it.

He knew then and there that the Lazarus Pit was dangerous.

Because he also knew… his body had grown stronger.

He had become more.

But the worst part? Desmond didn’t realize that he and the whispers he hears… they were being stripped of their moral compass little by little by the Lazarus Pit.

Desmond does his best not to go to the Pit. But, at the same time, he hears its call. He starts to wonder if the next time he goes to the Pit, he would be able to feel them. To touch them.

Then…

Bruce Wayne came to the League and asked to be trained.

He was… an interesting fellow, to say the least.

He could feel the sexual tension in the room whenever he and Talia were together.

And Desmond tried to keep his distance, more because Talia hates it when Desmond takes her ‘things’ even if Desmond didn’t intend to do it or didn’t even know they were her things from the very beginning.

None of that mattered.

But Bruce saw him.

And among the best of the Leagues, Bruce knew he was the one most challenging of all. His movements were erratic and random but they always strike true. It was like fighting multiple opponents at the same time, weaving in and out of different stances and fighting techniques like flowing water.

And Desmond was, by far, the most normal of the Leagues. As long as Bruce ignored how it always seem like Desmond is looking elsewhere as if someone who wasn’t there was talking to him or how he sometimes nods or makes noises that signify he was listening even though no one was speaking.

Then…

It all came crashing down.

Bruce became Batman and became a thorn in the side of the League.

And Gotham City becomes a beacon to the Leagues.

It’s not all bad though.

Desmond is more or less amicable to helping Batman if it interests him or benefits him in any way. Among the Leagues, he’s the one who Batman could trust the most. Batman knows Desmond has plans of his own for Gotham City and he has no qualms killing those he perceive as evil but Desmond could be reason with… to an extent.

Then… Jason Todd died…

Talia took his body and revived him in the Pit.

And Desmond watched as Jason tries to control himself as he stayed in the League. He was Talia’s though and Talia hates to share so…

He goes to him in secret. Only when they are alone and Desmond is sure Talia would not know of it later on. He tries to teach him how to channel his rage and that primal urge that seemed to come from being revived by the Pit. He teaches him the Creed and what it means to be an Assassin. Not one of the League’s assassin but an Assassin.

When Jason leaves the League, he bears a burn in his left ring finger and Desmond realized…

There was no need to continue to stay in the shadow, quietly and swiftly undermining the plans of the Leagues he didn’t agree with.

He just… needs to take matter on his own hands.

That’s when Desmond starts growing his own faction in the League itself. His moral compass skewered enough that he believes he can ‘fix’ the League and turn it into a real Assassin Brotherhood. He takes in Lady Shiva and his sister. Becomes Cassandra Cain’s guardian later on after the tragedy that pushes Cassandra Cain’s life was unraveled by Desmond himself.

Then Damien was born and Desmond couldn’t help himself. He sees himself a lot in Damien and he knows his sister enough to know she would fuck him up. He does not, however, realize that he wasn’t any better after all. He’s better in hiding it but… the Pit has affected him as well.

Damien would remember his kindness and would be the least inclined to go against Desmond even when he dons the cape of Robin and makes it his own. Desmond would always be the kind uncle who smiled at him and patted his head. The one who thought him how to kill men five times larger than him and how to care for eagles so they would be loyal to him. Desmond gave him a childhood that seemed both normal and strange. Damien would see how easy it was for Bruce Wayne and his family to care for him and feel a pang in his chest because that was the kind of love he felt from his uncle. And yet… his uncle stayed in the League and still continue to smile at him and tell him he’s doing well even when they’re on different side. Damien knows the League is wrong and that he’s doing the right thing but, at the same time… his uncle made him think that maybe… just maybe… No. Damien can’t think that. His father would be disappointed in him if he did.

Damien does not know that Bruce harbors the same ‘maybe’ in his mind. Every time he sees Desmond, he wonders if the League is beyond saving. But, unlike Damien, he does not hold Desmond with rose-tinted glasses. He knows how dangerous Desmond is.

So when Batman and his allies hear that a civil war has erupted in the League, one faction led by Desmond and another faction led by Ra’s… Batman can’t help but question if a League led by Desmond would be a good thing. A better alternative to Ra’s? For who? The League? The world? Himself?

Talia stays with their father, of course, she does. She does it not out of loyalty for their father but because she will always stand against her brother. That was how they were raised.

The Batfamily tries to stay away from all this. But some of them do tend to lean towards Desmond’s faction more. Mainly because Desmond is the ‘nice one’.

It would be Dick who reminds everyone that just because Desmond is nice to them doesn’t mean that they should lower their guard.

They must always remember.

Desmond… is an Assassin.

.

Unorganized Notes (this is gonna be short):

Red Hood would keep his connection to Desmond a secret. All Bruce knows is that Jason was with the League for a while but Bruce also knows that Talia thinks of Jason as hers because he’s Bruce’s and Bruce was hers.

Among the Batfamily, Red Hood and Robin would definitely be the ones to easily team up with Desmond’s Brotherhood.

Cassandra Cain doesn’t become Batgirl or Black Bat in this one (or, if you want her to be part of the Batfamily, not yet). She’s raised by Desmond and has a better childhood this time around although… okay, it’s a better childhood compared to canon but it’s still an Assassin childhood. She’s loyal to Desmond and sees him as her father figure. Although, she’d also grow close to the Batfamily as they team up some times.

Among the Batfamily, it would be Tim Drake who would be more willing to go along the more ‘violent’ plans that Desmond’s Brotherhood may do. Tim Drake is also the one who advocates that it’s better for Desmond to lead the League.

Dick is the one totally against it and some would say that he has no plank to stand on considering he became a Robin to get revenge but Dick is past that entire thing. He doesn’t support Ra’s faction as well and he’s more on the side of, whichever wins, the world would take the fall. The others (Babs, Stephanie, Kate and Duke) are on the fence about this and are waiting on what Batman would do.

Desmond is quite amicable to a few of Batman’s Rogue gallery. Poison Ivy is one of his staunch supporters as their end goal tend to align most of the time. Because of this, Harley Quin likes to call him their ‘bestie from another screwed up family’. She also knows that something is ‘wrong’ with Desmond but she doesn’t pry because ‘that’s not what friends do!’

Desmond likes to loudly say that Catwoman is a better match for Batman just to annoy Talia. He does not necessarily ship Batman with either his sister or anybody else because of Batman’s (gestures to ALL of Bruce’s everything) but annoying Talia is a favorite past time of his.

I absolutely did not include non-Batman characters because then I’d be writing this for far too long than I should but he hates Lexcorp. It reminds him too much of Abstergo XD

Loki Mid-Season Trailer Breakdown

SPOILERS!

So I just watched the mid-season trailer and there were some interesting shots in there that I want to talk about, I've also looked back at some of the footage from previous trailers that were released, so this is going to be a kind of breakdown/theory post on what I think is going to be happening in the last two episodes.

I've already said in a previous post that I think Loki will timeslip away right as the loom explodes and then go around recruiting the gang together and I think from this trailer that is still the most likely scenario.

We get this shot in previous trailer of Loki time-slipping to the Mcdonalds Sylvie works at:

I think this might be linked to the behind the scenes images of Loki and Sylvie outside the Mcdonalds. I also think at first she will reject Loki and walk away just like she did in episode 2. We get some shots in this trailer of Sylvie listening to a record and we know that record spaghettifies from other trailers. So I think after dismissing Loki's concerns, Sylvie goes home to listen to her record and then the world literally starts disintegrating around her, she'll go find Loki and that's when they'll have the conversation in the bar about what Loki really wants and then Loki will take her back to the TVA.

We also see Loki talking to Mobius in the Jet Ski shop trying to tell him that the TVA is gone, of course Mobius has no idea what he is talking about.

There is also this shot that shows the whole gang in what I think is a recreational room of some kind in the TVA:

From the clothes they are wearing it looks like this is right after Loki recruits them and they are still in their timeline getups. I did notice that OB isn't in his usual TVA uniform so it looks like we might find out what his life on the timeline was too, I am really excited to see what all of their lives were like in the timeline and we do get a few more clues in this new mid-season trailer.

In both this trailer and previous ones there was a shot of Casey in an underground tunnel of some kind but in this trailer we got this shot just before we are shown Casey:

So actually it looks like Casey was in some kind of prison or labour camp, I am wondering if the shot of him in the underground tunnel is him attempting a prison break.

We also get alot more information about Mobius' life on the timeline and it looks like from this shot:

Where you can see kid's bikes, a basketball hoop and other toys. There's also a sheet rope hanging out the window as if a rebellious teen has snuck out. So it looks like Mobius has a family, with kids. Honestly this makes me so sad, like I kind of suspected back in season 1 when Loki said Mobius could have a family on the timeline that he probably did, but actually seeing it is going to be a gut punch, it just shows how tragic it is that these people were all stolen from their lives. They weren't just taken away from their jobs or their homes but also from their families and loved ones. I don't know there is something about a father being taken away from their kids that just gets me.

But it did get me wondering, if he has kids then its possible, even likely, that he also has a partner. We now know that TVA Mobius' love of Jet Ski's comes from his job on the timeline where he worked as a Jet Ski salesman. The other thing we know he loves is pie. So what if the reason why he loves pie so much is because his partner used to like to bake and would always make him a pie to come home from work to. I can just see him sitting around the dinner table with his family enjoying a homemade pie. And now I'm sad again.

Anyway moving on. Something else I think is going to happen is a time loop of the events of the last episode where they are going to keep trying the scenario over and over until they get it right. There are a few shots that make me think this, one is where we are back at the scene where OB has made the model and is explaining the plan only this time OB asks Loki how much he knows, there is also a shot of two Loki's in the same place, so I think time-slipping Loki is going to tell past Loki what is going to happen to Victor and the Loom and then plan-making Loki is going to remember the conversation as it happens like OB did when Loki spoke to the past version of him and that caused present OB to remember in real time, if that makes sense. Another clue that Loki is going to try and get a different outcome to ep 4's events is there is another shot where Loki is talking to OB, (can't remember if its in this trailer or one of the previous ones) where Loki asks OB what they could have done differently, as they are in the Loom Room at the time I think this might be where they attempted it again but it still failed so Loki is asking OB how it might be fixed if they do it again and then he'll go back and relay that information to past versions again.

Unfortunately for Victor I think he is going to be spaghettified a few more times. There is this shot where we see him get spaghettified from a different angle:

what's interesting about this shot though is that for some reason he isn't wearing the helmet yet and he hasn't yet picked up the device thingy, through put multiplier? Or something like that, anyway it begs the question, why are the doors already open when Victor clearly isn't ready yet?

We also see Loki talking to presumably Victor through a microphone telling him what he needs to do, which is again interesting because first off why is it Loki directing Victor and not OB? Unless Loki is using all the information from all the failed attempts he's witnessed to try and get Victor through it maybe? But also we see that Victor has trouble pushing the green button, at one point he is pounding on it trying to get it to activate. It's hard to see in this screenshot but it looks like Victor begins to spaghettify again whilst trying to push that button:

I think that he will spaghettify before he manages to push the button and that is what will lead to this scene where we see Loki on the loom's walkway:

I think the reason why he isn't wearing the suit is because Victor was already wearing it and it got spaghettified along with him. The reason why Loki isn't carrying the through put multiplier is because it is already at the end of the walkway, after Victor dies, again, I think Loki decides to sacrifice himself to get to the end of the walkway and push the button himself. Although to be clear I don't think Loki is going to die, something will come along and save him. You can see bits of black coming off of him, but I don't think that's him beginning to spaghettify and think its similar to what was happening to Mobius suit in ep 1 with the temporal radiation aging it away, I think Loki's clothes are being aged away.

Another shot that I found really interesting was a simple one but I think it holds alot of meaning to it and its these two:

It shows the word 'believe but then the word flickers and when it does you get a quick shot of the word 'lie'. So who is lying, what are they lying about? It could be in reference to the lie the TVA workers were told about their former lives on the timeline but I feel like it might be something else. The lie told to the TVA workers is something we already learnt in season 1 so I would assume this is referencing some other lie. I don't really have any guesses to be honest, it could have something to do with HWR, but I am curious to see if this does connect to the last couple of episodes at all. I would love to hear other peoples theories if anyone has any.

We also get some interesting shots of Sylkie in this trailer. I actually think we might get some repeats of their scenes too. There is this shot of them in another trailer in what appears to be the same recreational room the whole gang were in above:

I'll be honest when I first saw this clip, with the way Sylvie slowly moves closer and closer to him I did wonder if this is going to turn into a kiss scene, it's just giving me that vibe, of course that could be my shipper googles clouding my vision. But I do think this moment between them is one that we are going to see at least twice and the reason why is because of this shot in the mid-season trailer that shows this room but in its spaghetti form:

Loki is holding up his hand and to me it kind of looks like he might be counting, like he knows what is going to happen next and begins counting down to it. So I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to the end of that countdown and we find ourselves back at the beginning of that scene.

Another scene that I think might possibly be repeated is the pie room scene between them. We have this shot in this trailer where Loki is going into the room:

We can't see anyone else in the room but what makes me think it might possibly be a repeat of the sylki pie room scene is that in ep 4 when Loki says 'we are gods' it is a wide shot, yet in the trailers it is a close up shot when he says the line. It could just be a case of they decided to use a different shot for that moment, but there does also seem to be this theme of time loops and things repeating so I'm taking any scene that is from a slightly different angle or distance as a potential repeat scene.

Ok so that's everything I've got for the trailer. But I do want to make a quick prediction on what I think might happen to all our characters in the end.

I think ultimately it will end up being Loki and Sylvie working together to run the new TVA. I think they hinted at this when they had HWR make that offer for them to run it back in 1x6. I think them actually ending up running it would bring it full circle, they would end up as the benevolent rulers as HWR put it, but they would have done it their way and not HWR's way. It would also fit into the whole we are gods conversation.

I think Mobius might possibly end up going back to his timeline and getting his life back with his family. As much as I love the friendship between him and Loki I do think that would be the best ending for Mobius, but I would want it to be his choice and I don't want it to be a case of his mind is wiped. As to whether its even possible for the TVA workers to return to their timelines, I think it might be. We never got confirmation on whether the timelines they were taken from were pruned after they were taken. My theory is that once they took them instead of pruning the timelines they instead wiped the memories of everyone who knew them, as if they never existed to start with, in which case that could be undone and they could potentially go back to the moment they were taken. But who knows, I guess we'll see. Even if Mobius does go back to his timeline I could see him coming back in future projects and helping Loki out with any problems that show up. I don't think Mobius having his happy ever after on the timeline with his family necessarily has to mean the end of the Loki and Mobius' bromance.

Casey I think might end up choosing to stay with the TVA and maybe he'll get a promotion. I just don't think his life was very good from the clips from the trailers and so he might decide he is better off staying and helping build the TVA into something good.

Another person I think might end up staying is B-15. Although we know from 1x5 when Sylvie showed B-15 her life on the timeline, B-15 said she was happy I could see her choosing to sacrifice that life in order to help more people by protecting the timelines. She would become this kind of opposite of Brad who was willing to sacrifice his colleagues and values for that perfect timeline life, she'd do the opposite and sacrifice her life on the timeline because she knows she can make a difference in the TVA.

I really don't know about OB as we still don't seem to know too much about his past or his life on the timeline. So I think its anybody's guess there.

I suspect Ravonna, Brad and Miss Minutes will all meet their end come the series finale. It's possible they might get a redemption but I just don't really see it happening at this point.

But yeah those are my thoughts on the midseason trailer. I'm even more excited for the last couple of episodes and can't wait to see where its all going to go.

Hopeful Nightmare~

This is a continuation of the Filler chapters for “Vacation gone wrong” (Part 1 here!) Please note that the original fic is a stand alone one-shot and this is just something I wrote for fun, while I slowly work on my other chapter fics.  Thank you for reading! please remember: I do not own these Characters, they belong to DC Comics.  ~One Year Later~ Damian looked at his reflection amongst the glass case that held his fathers suit. Hours had gone by, and yet he still couldn’t leave from that spot. Damian heard sudden foot steps from behind him. He focused on the reflection to see non other then Dick Grayson approach him. “Hey, I know that suit is a heavy one. You don’t have to keep doing this. I can take over if you-” “This is my birthright Grayson.” Damian Turned around “Besides, you’ve made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing to do with Batman.” Dick crossed his arms as he let out a sigh “Damian, You’re only sixteen. And its clear that you’re still thinking about-” “Don’t you dare say their names.” Damian straightened his poster “It’s been a year since mother and father… Since they… Tsk You must be here to pester me. You’ve never visited when they were alive. You never called after you moved away. So why must you annoy us now?” Dick maintained the eye contact from his younger brother. “It wasn’t like that and you know it. I had to leave, to figure out who I was.” Dick pushed Damian back with his finger “You did the same thing ya hypocrite. At least I didn’t Disrespect Mom like you did when you got here.” Damian was about the swing before he felt a hand on his chest. The two brothers looked beside them to see Cassandra gently pushing them apart “Stop. please,” The cave went quiet. The only sound came from the bats on the roof. “Alfred Needs help in the kitchen. He asked for you specifically Damian.” Cassandra said softer as she gently pulled Damian away. The teen sucked his teeth before leaving. At the sound of the grandfather clock sliding closed, Cassandra turned to her older Brother. Dick brushed his fingers through his hair as he looked at the Suit. “Forgive him Dick. He’s still hurting. We all are.” Dick looked to Cassandra who was fiddling with a necklace. A necklace that was missing another half “No, he has a point. I wanted to get out of Bruce’s shadow so badly. I was also caught up with my police work in Bludhaven that I pushed mom away.” Before the trip, he and Bruce would get into nasty arguments in regards of how to save people. And yet, Y/N managed to plan and convince everyone to come together as a family. Cassandra took a deep breath as she noticed his posture. The slumped shoulders, bags under his eyes, messy hair. “Come, Alfred want you to join us.” ** Jason laid in his bed staring at the broken up popcorn ceiling. The sound of car horns and random city noise faintly heard in the distance as he pondered about the one thing he’d surly get in trouble for. Roy peaked into the room and noticed the fancy envelope on the coffee table “You’re not going again?” Jason closed his eyes as Roy stood by the entrance with his arms crossed. “No” Roy let out an annoyed sigh “Why are you running away?” “I’m not” Jason grumbled as he turned his body to face away from his friend. “You haven’t seen them since… the accident.” Roy noticed Jason flinch at the mention of that tragic day. “You know how much family meant to your parents, and you’re running away from the very people who have been trying to-.” “Shut up, don’t talk out of your ass. You’re asking to get shot.” Roy walked towards Jason and tossed sealed mails “Distancing yourself isn’t the answer. Talk to me” Jason let out a huff before attempting to leave the rickety apartment. “Jay!” “Fuck off” “Jason I will annoy you till I get an actual answer” Roy went up to his friend and grabbed his arm. He was met with a punch that sent him back a couple of steps. “I couldn’t do anything!” Jason shouted. He felt his head spinning. His fists tightened as he straightened up to face Roy “I, Jason Todd. Red Hood. The man back from the dead. The guy that runs these corrupts streets. I couldn’t Save my fucking Parents! You think I can face the rest of them? After I Failed all of them?!” Roy rubbed his cheek as he crisscrossed his feet “You blame yourself.” Jason turned to face the window. He looked down in his hands “Everyday I think about that night. The court of Owls, they are the ones responsible, and yet I cant avenge them properly.” “Because you want to kill them? Ya know, Avenge and Revenge are two very different things. You guys... The Waynes, have not only pressed charges but actually took them down through the justice system. You’ve already Avenged them Jason. Seems like what you’re craving is to blow some heads.” Jason went quiet yet again. Roy finally stood “Well, let me say this. you’re doing something far greater then Revenge.” “Oh yea? And what am I doing?” Roy tossed one of Jasons guns. The man caught it, confused “rubber bullets.” Roy smiled before he nudged his head towards the invitation pile “Jason, If your family truly blamed you for what happened. Would they really put in this much effort to see you? ” *** Tim typed on his laptop slowly as he took another sip of his coffee. Dinner was awkward to say the least. Having Dick back for some time surly eased his mind. However Damian’s hostility didn’t go unnoticed. If it wasn’t for Alfred surly another argument would Ensue. Honestly, Tim hasn’t gotten better all this time. Sure he’s functioning, leading Wayne enterprises and fighting the bad guys. Stephanie however was the most perceptive with his dramatic change since that night. Locking himself in his room practically glued on his laptop.  Stephanie slowly opened the door to his room. “Timmy… it’s time for sleep. Don’t worry about patrol tonight. Cas and I got it.” She looked around to see a messy room. Except for his trophy stand. That space hasn’t been touched, since it was the last thing Y/N and Bruce build and organized with him. Tim let out a slight chuckle. Sleep. Something the family hasn’t been doing so well on. The only person able to put Tim to bed passed away in her husbands arms. “Ill be done in a minute” Annoyed Stephanie looked at how he sat in front of the laptop screen. The clear bags under his eyes. The lack of self care or organization. She finally had enough of leaving him alone to grieve. she snatched the laptop. Removing the headphones in the process “Tim! You can’t run away. We are here. You’ve been avoiding us and getting lost in this damn computer!”  Tim watched with wide eyes as she carelessly moved the device. “Give it back.” “Hell no.” “Stop waving it around like that!” “Or what.” Cassandra and Damian entered the room. Cassandra immediately noticed Tim’s shaky hands and Stephanie’s stand-offish demeanor.  “P-please.” he pleaded. It was so soft, as if a mouse spoke to them. The headphones finally fell to the floor. Disconnecting it in the process.  “Todd! Unhand me you baboon.” “Ma! Watch me throw the blood son in the lake.” “Jay be careful!” Everyone froze. The sound of their mothers voice sent chills down their spine. Stephanie gently placed the laptop back onto the table and she became mesmerized with the Video.  ~~ “Tim? Why are you smiling like that?” A chuckling sound could be heard. Tim was the one holding the camera as Cassandra and Stephanie snuck up behind Bruce with an ice bucket.  “No reason mom. You’re looking great.” Just then Ice water was poured onto the sleeping billionaire who shot up from his slumber. Y/N wiped off some water that landed on her while laughing at her husband. Bruce’s eyes squinted making Y/N laugh harder. Tim’s hand slightly waved gaining Bruce’s attention. Tim pointed to Jason who was just about to throw Damian in the water. Bruce nodded and quickly stood up. “Wow. They got you good.” Y/N wiped her eyes. Then she squealed as Bruce picked her up bridal style and ran to the water. “Wait NO! I just bought this sundress. BRUCE!” Both Damian and Y/N hit the water at the same time. ~~ “Have you been watching these?” Stephanie couldn’t take her eyes off the footage. “Yea…”  Damian sucked his teeth “why?” Cassandra noticed Tim’s shoulders tense up. “You’ve found something.” “What?!”Stephanie turned to face her “what do you mean.”  Tim rewound the footage and paused just before Damian and Y/N got dunked. He zoomed into the one of the trees on the other side of the lake. Damian slightly pushed Cassandra to the side to get a better look at the screen. “We were stalked the whole trip…” Tim whispered in shame as he held his head low. The image of two beings with owl masked took over the screen. They all couldn’t believe their eyes. “so, you’ve been rewatching the footage all this time for this!” Damian snapped as he turned to Tim “and you didn’t bother Sharing this information!” Tim placed his hands on his head “it’s my fault. If only I payed more attention. They were always around us… it’s my fault. Before the car crashed I lost signal and- I should of-” Cassandra lightly pinched Damian. He looked her in eyes only to be met with a glare. Stephanie gently placed her hands on Tim’s “Timmy it’s not your fault. You didn’t kill them.” Tim’s lips wobbled as Stephanie slowly stood him up and lead him to the bed. Cassandra side eyed Damian with a clear message: if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.  Cassandra sat on Tim’s other side. The two ladies provided him much comfort that he clearly needed. He cried for the first time in a long while. ** ~Later that night~ Alfred pressed buttons on the keyboard “Master Damian, Gorden would like to meet with you in 45 minutes.” He heard the bat mobile rev it’s engine “inform him I’ll be on the way. Please send him the evidence I’ve gathered.” “Yes sir.” Alfred kept a straight face as one of his many grandchildren left the cave. Once he was sure that he was by himself he reviewed the evidence Tim had found. He frowned upon seeing the screenshots of the various owled stalkers as tears slowly streamed down his eyes. When he heard the news of their death he couldn’t believe it. For the first time ever he lost his cool and in a blind rage sabotage the owls on all fronts. He remembered many police and GCPD raiding the houses of many elites. Even though he knew they could just pay off the crooked cops eventually, Alfred wanted to make them suffer for taking the lives of his family.  “Alfred. Come in.” Red Hoods voice came into the screen, bringing him back to reality. “Yes Redhood?” “Why is Damian on my turf?” “I’m sorry?” Redhood rolled his eyes “Batman is beating up Black Skulls goons. Why is he here?” Alfred's eyes widened. A serious case of Deja vu swarmed him. Especially coming from Jason of all people. He pulled up a map of the city, a red dot weaved its way through the traffic. “That’s not Batman.” Alfred said sending the information to Jason. Jason’s blood ran cold. He let out a small laugh as he looked up at the imposter Darknight.

 “Hey dickhead. I thought the blood son told you he’s got it.”

The Batman punched the last guard before slowly walking towards Redhood. Jason didn’t move, he was curious to see what would happen. The man stood in front of him, and that’s when Jason felt his blood run cold. 

Jason jumped back and pulled out his guns “who the hell are you?” The man’s head began to slightly twitch “D-Dick? Grayson” His body soon convulsed, his legs began to tremble “Richard, Jason, Tim, Damian, Cassandra, Stephanie… Y/N” He placed his hands on his head, as if he were going through a nasty headache  “I-Im sorry. Y/N, s-she’s out there” Jason holstered his weapons and ran to him. He looked around first to make sure the coast was clear before kneeling down “Bruce?” “F-Find her. She’s- Your mother is-” Suddenly Jason was flung back. Pain shot up his chest as he landed on the ground. He recovered quickly. Standing up only to be met with another punch. Before he knew it, the Dark Knight was gone. Jason felt the adrenaline pump through his veins. No way, no way Bruce returned. Someone used the pit. But that’s impossible. “Alfred. Get an excavator.” Jason shouted as he ran to his motorcycle  ~~~ Alfred frowned as Jason continued to dig. He know eventually the other children would return from patrol, and for once he truly wishes his little hunch was nothing more then a thought. Jason finally heard a clunk, he quickly swept the dirt along the casket of his supposed adoptive father. He opened it, seemingly on cue the moonlight shone upon an empty casket. “No. No no no!” Alfred fought tears himself, how could he let something like this happen again.  Jason’s rage was incomprehensible. Who dared do something like this. And for how long. The snap of a twig caused the butler to turn slightly. “You have some nerve Todd. I knew you’d do something like this.” Damian then looked to Alfred “and you’re helping him?”  “Master Damian. It’s not what it seems. I can assure you there is reason behind this.” Alfred stated as calmly as he could. Damian in a rage grabbed onto Alfred’s collar “have you been keeping information from me aswell?” “Damian!” Cassandra, And Stephanie pulled Damian from Alfred, whilst Dick stood infront of Alfred protectively.  “J-jason? W-what’s going on. Don’t tell me you.” Tim stuttered over his words as the first thing he noticed was the empty casket that once held the body of his father. “I didn’t do anything.” Jason barked “but it’s exactly what it is. Someone took ‘em. And I saw Bruce during patrol.” Jason attempted to jump out the hole but fell. He let out a huff before trying again only to grab onto something. He looked up to see Dick who gave him a soft smile before hoisting him up. “Thanks.” Jason whispered ”Of course” There was a moment of silence before Damian pushed Cassandra off him “Where are you going?” She asked. “I’m going to see my mother. She is the only woman that could be capable of something like this.” It was faint, but Cassandra heard his voice shake slightly. “I’ll go with” Stephanie walked towards Damian and pinched his cheek, causing the teen to grumble “You’ll need backup. And someone to keep your head steady.” Dick walked over to Tim, the teen looked up at his older brother with tear stained eyes. “Does that mean mom. Mom is back too?” Tim had mixed feelings. On the one hand this was wrong. This was so wrong in many ways, but on the other hand this is a second chance. A chance to safe Y/N and Bruce. Dick brought him into a hug before looking at his family “Alright listen up. Damian, Cassandra, Steph. You three investigate the Al Ghul’s while Tim, Jason and I will look into mom. Since the court of owls were behind this, we’ll see if there has been any activity.” Jason brushed his fingers through his hair as the sun began to rise “We sould inform the league, the more eyes the better.” He let out a long sigh “This family is too complicated.”

Tentatively calling this reboot “Strawberry Shortcake Recipe for Friendship”

Characters

character summary below the cut

Strawberry Shortcake 🍓 🍰 🍓 Strawberry is a berry sweet girl though a little oblivious and naïve After mostly raising herself she has gained a need to be around others, to make friends, but she also has a rather evident lack of social skills. She is most unusual in one particular manner Most Berries, when they find their recipes, their name and very essence, tend to stop baking. They will still make their dish and some others with their own berry, but other than that and their future partners dish they have no desire to learn more Strawberry Shortcake however wants to learn how to bake all recipes She's a baker, what kind of baker can only make one dish? Recipes and berries define a Berry on a personal level, to achieve Strawberry's baking goal she's also achieving her friendship goal She wants to be surrounded by different berries and different desserts and learn all about them So in doing this weird action she's bringing a community garden together that wouldn't really exist without her

Apple Dumplin 🍎 🥟 🍏 Apple is a young but headstrong little girl who loves her family but cant wait to explore the world on her own When Strawberry found her Apple Dumplin wasn't a baby blossom anymore, a child, a toddler even yes, but in the society they live in she had found who she is, her very recipe, and can survive on her own, she doesn't need to be taught how to survive Strawberry took her in anyways because they were both lonely But heres the thing, Apple is more aware than strawberry She understands how society works, can easily survive in it, and can pick up on social cues She wants to live with strawberry though because she shouldn't have to take care of herself, she likes Strawberry's philosophy that you should take care of each other She becomes Strawberry's little sister but in a big way helps raise strawberry as much as strawberry raises her She picks up on social cues her sister doesnt and can direct strawberry out of the way Because they're family

Huckleberry Pie 🫐🥧 🫐 Huck is an adventurous free spirit who encourages everyone to go outside the box while making sure they're still comfortable Huckleberrys origin bush, the very thing that gave him life, was by a river so when he was born he was dropped in and floated down the current for a long time before he woke up He is still connected to his bush but has never actually seen it And so his whole life he been wandering upstream trying to find his bush, his home Huck loves stories and adventures, ecspecially about people finding their place since he has always felt alone When he gets to Berry Valley he originally intended to keep heading upstream after he hung out for a while The others were supportive, his origins were tragic but not unheard of and its normal for a berry his age to be out on his own Strawberry however asked if would like to stay here and be part of her family And Huck decided his bush wasn't going anywhere, its survived without him all this time, it can wait a little longer And to be honest He was kinda giving up hope anyways He could have made a wrong turn fifteen forks ago and neve known hes been going in the wrong direction So he stays in the valley with the plans to one day maybe go searching again in the future And he becomes strawberry and apples brother

Orange Blossom 🍊🌼🍊 Orange is a rather shy girl who always pushes herself to be braver and bolder Orange Blossom doesn't have a name She's a Blossom, someone who never found their recipe While Strawberry found hers and still wants to try new flavors Orange never found did and is ok with it She wasn't always, for years she tried every combination possible, but she never could find that one specific flavor, that one dish that defined her It was a major source of stress and made her constantly question her identity It took meeting Strawberry, for her to accept herself She has no recipe but that doesnt mean she has no sense of self, It just means for her the possibilities are endless She is Strawberrys first friend, her berry best friend While Strawberry is stuck in a box she refuses to stay in, orange has no box so she can do anything They respect and are a little jealous of each others opportunities and because of that they understand each other in ways no one else can

Raspberry Tart 🍇🥧🍇 Raspberry is a confident, blunt, no nonsense kind of gal with a protective streak for those she loves Raspberry Tart immediately hated Strawberry Shortcake She was sweet and oblivious and friendly and had clearly never seen a single conflict she couldn't solve with a smile She was Raspberry's rival The thing is, Strawberry doesn't really do rivals? She sees everyone, even actual enemies, as friends with a different label to categorize them new, potential, close, sibling, best, A rival friend is something Strawberry had never really done before But Raspberry pushed her to better herself, to be less oblivious, to bake better, to stand up for herself In return Strawberry pushed her to open up, to be kinder, get better at her own interests Lemon and Strawberry helped the other Berries see past Raspberry's bitter exterior and to her sweet core She still hates Strawberry, but in the way were she knows Strawberry can be better and shes going to force her to get there

Lemon Meringue 🍋 🥧🍋 Lemon is very sweet girl though she is constantly worried she is only hiding how sour she truly is. Because of how she was raised Lemon is very self conscious and has a bad habit of letting people walk all over her Lemon didn't have the best upbringing, having to share everything with her sister Lime While not born from the same Origin Tree they were raised together and so similar in looks you would almost think they were twins Twins who were extraordinarily envious of each other While Lemon had her own talents, a love of gardening, painting, and mechanics, she felt shadowed by her sisters popularity and skills Lemon ended up simply giving everything she had to her sister in hopes it would stop her sister from constantly taking more Instead her sister took so much that all was left was Raspberry Tart, the only person who saw through Limes acting skills and stayed by Lemon Eventually Lemon and Raspberry packed up and moved to a small valley where they met people who accepted them for who they were and wanted to be their friend

Plum Puddin 🍑🍮🍑 Plum has a very dry and quick witted personality While incredibly book smart they have a hard time with social cues and unlike Strawberry they are quite aware they are often out of their depth, instead hiding it under a layer of sarcastic humor While they like to claim they have no need for emotions Plum can be quite passionate in the things that interest them They love to read and learn new things, though they have a low tolerance for fantasy novels, and can memorize anything after seeing it once They often team up with Lemon, understanding the theory while she builds the actual machines, but does not get along with Blueberry very well as her reading taste leans toward fiction The one person who they truly understand is their long distance partner TN Honey

Blueberry Muffin 🫐🧁🫐 Blueberry is soft spoken and very sheltered, she tends to have her head in the clouds Blueberry grew up all alone in an old mansion deep in the woods She learned of the world through a massive library of books, never seeing another person until the group stumbles on her house and mistakes her for a ghost After a life of never seeing another living person this declaration sends Blueberry into philosophical spiral about life until Huck manages to calm her down and help her outside to prove she wasn't a ghost The two share a love of stories and Huck helps her learn more about the world by going on adventures with her while making sure she never gets overwhelmed

Angel Foodcake 😇 🎂😇 Angel is an absolute perfectionist who claims to be the perfect angel Despite her claims her need for everything to be in its exact perfect place tends to make bossy and quick tempered when people break her rules She despises every flaw, especially ones in herself leading to intense self loathing and denial She is especially self conscious about her origin plant being a vanilla bean, denying all allegations and instead claiming one as perfect as herself could only come from angels themselves Because of this she is especially envious of Strawberry who is confident in everything she does, even the things she shouldn't, and how everyone loves her for it Despite her denials her need for perfection ended up affecting her work to the point she couldn't create anything out of fear it wouldn't fit her impossible standards It was only once her friends helped her realize differences in berrys is what makes a variety of flavor that Angel was able to slowly start to create again She still struggles with her and others flaws, but now that she accepts them she no longer despises herself and others

Character ask: King Agnarr(Musical/Film)

I feel like this is unfair because I answered some for Frozen 1 Agnarr and some for Frozen 2 Agnarr, except that the better Agnarr (Frozen 1) doesn't have enough personality or scenes to really answer all of these. So here we are.

favorite thing about them:

This is one of those Frozen 1 answers.

Agnarr clearly cares for his family. His worst choices come from making difficult decisions in an impossible situation. He and Iduna end up basically abusing and traumatizing both daughters via the separation, the neglect of Anna, and the repetition of the repression mantra for Elsa, but let's be honest: can any of us say we would've handled the situation better?

In a modern analogy, Elsa has a trait that makes her unavoidably lash out in moments of extreme emotion. When playing with her sister she accidentally lashes out and Anna ends up at death's doorstep; only rushing her to the ER and having her undergo traumatic brain surgery allowed Anna to survive.

As a decent father, separating the girls and focusing on getting Elsa's powers under control was obviously the top priority. Elsa even agrees with Agnarr! In the musical, Iduna argues that the girls should be kept together, and Elsa says "Mother, it's how it has to be. What's best for her is best for me," then turns to her father, who reassures her they'll find a way to control her powers. There is never an indication Agnarr and Iduna planned to keep their daughters separated forever, just until Elsa could be around people without accidentally hurting someone. The problem was that neither parent knew how to actually help Elsa; the trolls gave them the vaguest advice of avoiding "fear", which wasn't actionable.

Without help, the day the girls could reunite never came. After the parents died, Elsa tried to follow their advice, but she was a child without guidance. Of course she didn't do it right! And when she did reunite with Anna, exactly the thing they were all fearing happened: she was overwhelmed, lost control, and mortally wounded her sister.

Just ... Agnarr is a tragic figure. There was no good answer in his situation, especially if he was trying to be a good king on top of dealing with all this. It's part of why I prefer the idea that he died on just a normal diplomatic trip, because then the tragedy is human and normal. Frozen 2 saying that the parents died trying to find answers for Elsa makes the world feel small and boring and like nothing else ever happened.

So in summary: he's such an interestingly tragic character. I wish Frozen 2 had been content to leave him as a normal, tragic character instead of warping his whole life to revolve around Elsa.

least favorite thing about them:

As a person? Emotionally abusing both daughters for a decade. Not only was Elsa being taught to repress her feelings, but Anna was so neglected by both parents that she was talking to paintings for company while her entire family was in the same home. Just because her trauma didn't manifest in explosive, awful ways like Elsa's, it seems both parents assumed she was fine and handling it and never noticed that her cheer was another coping mechanism.

As a narrative device? I kinda like that he kicks off Elsa being wrong about how to control her powers and starts her and Anna on the path of trauma that leads to the horrific situation that forms the basis of Frozen.

In Frozen 2, I really hate that this man apparently never figured out his wife was a native woman and - separate to that - felt comfortable telling the story of the time his family massacred a whole tribe of native people as a bedtime story to his kids. Its a bad character trait and bad writing - two for one!

favorite line:

Had to ask the roommate for help, and she turned up:

Elsa: Were the Northuldra magical, like me? Agnarr: No Elsa, they were not magical, they just took advantage of the forest gifts. Their ways were so different from ours. But still, they promised us friendship. In honor of that, your grandfather, King Runeard, built them a mighty dam to strengthen their waters. It was a gift of peace.

The narrative framing is what really makes this [chef's kiss]. He's so, so wrong, and on top of it, he's blatantly ignoring Elsa's cry for reassurance that she's not alone.

Oh, but for Frozen 1 -- I saw a post once pointing out that the mantra Agnarr teaches Elsa is "conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show". It doesn't become "conceal, don't feel, don't let it show" until Elsa's had a lot of time to spiral alone and conflate her dangerous powers with her sense of self. It's a little detail but one that hurts me in a good way.

brOTP:

Does Agnarr have friends? I genuinely can't think of one. I like how musical!Agnarr interacts with his family. As mentioned above, I like that he and Elsa are on the same track when it comes to keeping Anna safe even if it means the girls can't be together.

OTP:

Agnarr/Iduna (musical edition)

nOTP:

Agnarr/Iduna (Frozen 2), though I've just started Dangerous Secrets and I think it might give Frozen 2 a run for it's money in terms of bad romance. The flawed premise is inherited from F2 thought so ... let's call F2 the worst.

random headcanon:

I like to believe that he's a good king of Arendelle. We have no evidence of this either way in the films, but it makes him more interesting if he was a decent king who was trying to balance that with his family life. I imagine he became a less stellar king after they had to close the family off from people, but still not bad.

(Sort of like Nicholas II pulling away from public life because he couldn't explain that the reason they kept a weird monk around was Alexei had hemophilia, but in this case it's because Elsa can kill people in a simple accident.)

Overall, the people of Arendelle remember Agnarr fondly but without a lot of detail.

unpopular opinion:

I simply do not care! And furthermore, there is nothing Disney or anyone else can do will make me curious about this man or his life. I don't care how he and Iduna met, I don't care who they were when they were younger, I just do not care. They exist to be Anna and Elsa's origin story, and that's it.

Also, I think the girls need to talk about the fact their parents sucked. They can't heal until they admit it.

song i associate with them:

"Monster" from the musical...? Mostly because Elsa invokes him by title in it. I don't think of Agnarr as a character much, but Agnarr the concept definitely haunts Elsa.

favorite picture of them:

One HUNDRED percent this picture of him talking about how his family massacred a native tribe, saying that the tribe attacked them (which is demonstrably wrong), not knowing his wife was on the massacred side.

Honorable mention to Iduna's absolute lack of reaction. No thoughts, head empty, if she confronted the fact she had two kids with this man she'd have to do something more drastic than occasionally singing her kids a native lullaby after her loving husband is safely gone.

That whole scene being the opening of the film sure was a choice!

I'm also fond of every single musical Agnarr, but he's not photographed as much.

Title: The Nightmarchers

Author: J. Lincoln Fenn

Genre/s: horror, thriller, science fiction

Content/Trigger Warnings: body horror, divorce, blood, violence, medical horror, physical and emotional abuse of a child, sexual assault, forced pregnancy

Summary (from the author's website): In 1939, on a remote Pacific island, botanical researcher Irene Greer plunges off a waterfall to her death, convinced the spirits of her dead husband and daughter had joined the nightmarchers—ghosts of ancient warriors that rise from their burial sites on moonless nights. But was it suicide, or did a strange young missionary girl, Agnes, play a role in Irene's deteriorating state of mind? It all seems like ancient family history to Julia Greer, who has enough problems of her own. A struggling journalist, she’s recovering from a divorce and is barely able to make rent, let alone appeal the court’s decision to give sole custody of their daughter to her ex-husband. When her elderly great-aunt offers her an outrageously large sum to travel to this remote island and collect samples of a very special flower, as well as find out what really happened to her sister Irene all those years ago, Julia thinks her life might finally be on an upward swing. She’s also tasked to connect with the island’s Church of Eternal Light, which her great-aunt suspects knows more about Irene’s tragic death than they’ve said. But Julia finds this place isn’t so quick to give up its secrets. The Church is tight-lipped about the deaths that have contributed to its oddly large cemetery, as well as Irene’s final fate. The only person who seems to know more is a fellow traveler, Noah Cooper, who thinks that Julia's not the only one on a mission to find the rare flower...which, if the rumors are true, could have world-changing properties. What Julia does know is that the longer she stays on the island, the more the thin line begins to blur between truth and lies, reality and the fantastical...until she finds herself face to face with the real reason why the island is taboo....

Buy Here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Nightmarchers/J-Lincoln-Fenn/9781501110962

Spoiler-Free Review: I’ll admit that the book absolutely sucked me in; that prologue was a REALLY good hook, or at least for me it was. The first-person perspective helps to obscure a lot of what’s going on, forcing the reader to try and piece things together before diving into the the novel’s main plot. As a way to keep the reader intrigued, it was very effectively done. After that it takes a while for the momentum to pick up again, because of the need to set the stage, but once Julia is on the island, things start moving pretty damn fast, in a rollercoaster kind of way that is difficult to predict - mostly by throwing in concepts that come totally out of left field.

Which is where things become a bit troublesome with this novel. Now, I generally don’t have problems with authors throwing ideas together and stacking them one on top of the other to create a layer cake of concepts, but there’s something a little disjointed about the way the concepts in this novel came together. It’s a little hard to explain without going into spoilers, but: the first layer was already pretty interesting, if a bit of a stretch, but I was willing to suspend my disbelief because I REALLY liked the idea, especially given how it worked with the setup at the start of the novel. But then towards the end of the novel another layer was added that felt like it didn’t have enough decent setup to really work. Like it was tossed in there because the author wanted to up the ante beyond the (already pretty high) current stakes that had initially been laid down.

Unfortunately, the addition of that extra, disjointed layer didn’t work any wonders for the ending. I don’t expect stories to always have a neat, tidy ending, but even when there’s questions left unanswered those questions need to at least work in context with everything else in the novel. Sadly, that isn’t the case in this book, so the ending feels a bit oddly-shaped, as if there was something tacked onto it that doesn’t belong - which makes sense, given how some concepts were tacked on near the end that didn’t seem to go well with everything else.

It isn’t all bad though, because what this novel does really well is to portray the setting as a character itself, and a VERY dangerous one at that. It’s easy to look at a rainforest and be caught up in dreams of paradise, but as many Indigenous people know, that beauty hides some very deadly things - and not all of them make their deadliness obvious. Some of the characters are also downright chilling, especially when the reader figures out the reasons behind their actions. And the themes are also pretty interesting: the privileged nature of people from wealthy colonialist countries that makes them think they can profit off the land, resources, and bodies of Indigenous people; the use of religion and science to soften the way for colonial interests; and the tension between logic and faith.

Overall, this wasn’t half-bad as a read; it was certainly enjoyable while I was reading it. But certain new elements get included in the latter third of the novel that throw everything off, and those elements throw the ending off as well. Up until the reader gets to that point, though, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable, and pretty terrifying, read.

Rating: three corpse flowers

Things That Are Infinite: Those Starry and Misty Eyes

Long ago, when the sky was a bit closer to the ground, hidden within the great mountains of the land was a small village in a great, lush valley. Its inhabitants were simple folk, rice farmers, and fishermen. And one extraordinary child named Luna. The whole town loved her and her family. Her father was a great fisherman, and her mother was a wonderful tailor who tragically passed away when Luna was born. What made Luna so special was her ability to float during a full moon. Because of her gift, every full moon, she and her father would climb up a hill by the village outskirts and gaze out at the stars. Luna’s father would tell her stories about her mother and how she watched over them from the skies, and that one day they would go with her. He would tie the scarf his wife made him around Luna to keep her from floating away, and it was their tradition.

But after one particularly cold and rainy day, the visits to the hill became quite scarce. Luna’s father came out of his room less and less, and Luna had no idea why. She didn't want to go to the hill without her father, but he had grown so distant that he did not even speak to her anymore. A few months went by. Luna was worried. Her father had not come out of his room at all. She decided to check on him and found him sleeping in his room. She spoke softly to him and nudged him a bit, trying to get him to wake up. But when she touched his hand, she found it to be very cold. Too cold. The reality of the situation dawned on her as she realized that in front of her was the corpse of her dead father. 

Overcome with shock and grief, Luna let out a terrible cry of anguish that could be heard all throughout the village. Immediately, the townsfolk rushed over to see what happened and, seeing the devastating scene before them, wept along with Luna. A funeral was held a few days later. When it came time to say goodbye to him in the casket, Luna couldn't even find the courage to look her dead father in the face. All she could do was cry into the scarf that was once her father’s. 

The town mourned, and Luna fell into a deep depression. No matter what the people told her, no matter what they did, nothing could bring her out of it. She never realized how much joy her father gave her each day. Now she could never have that joy back. Luna stayed in her room for weeks. Neighbors would occasionally come by to give her food and check up on her, but other than that, the most contact she had with the outside world came from staring at the sky from her window. As the starry nights passed, something resonated within Luna. A distant thought that came to her. That gave her a sort of strange peace. A thought that grew along with the waxing moon.

The night of the full moon came, and Luna was totally at peace. The moon was at its perigee, which made Luna’s power stronger. She felt the sky calling to her. With her father’s scarf in hand and sandbags to weigh her down, Luna made her way up the hill that she and her father always climbed together. As she traversed the hill, all the memories of her life and her father came flooding back to her. All the stories he told her, all the moments they shared, until finally, finally, Luna reached the top of the hill. Clutching the scarf close to her body, she stared up at the enormous moon and sky above. She removed the bags and lifted up off the ground, closing her eyes and crying, tears floating all around her. 

She cried and cried and cried for a very long time. When she finally opened her eyes, Luna found herself high among the stars. It was quite a beautiful sight to behold. All of them sparkling brilliantly, the colors blurring together from the tears in her eyes. As she took in the scenery, Luna felt peacefully empty. There were nothing but stars and her father’s scarf to keep her company. She drifted endlessly into the infinite void of space, her unceasing tears adding to the glimmering beauty of the night sky.

What's your take on Stella?

Personally I find Stella to be a character that's overall very lackluster. As a saturday morning cartoon esque villian she's not over the top enough to be very entertaining when we see here. As a legitimate portrayal of an abuser in a relationship, I find it rather distasteful and sloppy as Stella is simply implied to have been born a little monster child who didn't even care about her own daughter, thats not to say you must resort to trying to make her sympathetic, however if you intend to portray a very serious issue of abuse, you should be doing your research and understand human components to what makes people abusive. Let alone the idea Stella doesnt care for Octavia reads rather hollow of a point when Stolas didnt want to have Octavia as much as he didnt have a choice.

I almost want to say Stella functioned as funny when she came off as a odd take on the nagging wife trope where she's constantly yelling and fighting with Stolas except its from an angle where theyre both in a relationship equivalent to roomates who've lived together for so long that you'd almost mistake them for a couple, except if you asked them they'd in tandem insist they cant stand each other.

A large problem is the writing not being well planned. We know initially Stella being an abuser was not the planned story because Octavia says they used to be in love and clearly has times she looks back on as when they were happy. Now I can speak as someone who's parents had quite the messy and unpleasant divorce and the problem with this is Octavia is in her teens. When you're still young, its easy to look at moments with rose tinted glasses as when your parents were happy, specifically because we grow up with them in our heads as what a happy relationship looks like, but its usually by your teens when your discovering yourself and learning more about the outside world beyond the circle of your immediate family that we learn to look back on moments of our childhood in a different light. Ill keep it from being too personal, but in my younger years while i didnt understand why my parents fought because I had memories of going to the park with them and seeming happy together, in my teens i thought more about how many times I went to bed hearing them yell and break things downstairs because while I didn't do it often, when I did stay at friends houses their parents never fought or at least nothing like mine. And because of this it reads rather inconsistent Octavia is 17 and somehow yet to have realized in retrospect this was a long ways coming, or be rather uncaring about it due to arranged marriages meaning you'd have many unhappy couples meanwhile everyone on the outside of the Goetia circle looks in with a sort of disbelief because marriage is such a expensive and important thing, some people go their whole lives never marrying their loved ones because they hope to save it that money for their children, but people like the Goetias do it all for status and money. But this is about Stella, not Octavia.

If I had a say, I'm not opposed to the idea Stella and Stolas were in an arranged marriage, I think this would be a tragic root of their problems. I imagine because the reason being that this actually is commonplace in the goetia. It's not for money, but it's been very much a practice going back generations that you marry someone of equal status and standing. It's seen as a garuntee you don't marry someone who is only interested in your money or anything else you provide and it's something planned at a young age because it's your parents job to find someone as soon as possible to avoid being out of options at 17. When Stolas and Stella met, they got along, and were childhood best friends, the problem is as they got older and the weight of marrying started becoming something they could process, they found it something they didn't want. Stella was crying in their early teens because she didn't want to end up unhappy like her parents, and Stolas was the one who reassured her they wouldn't be like that and were gonna be different. He promised no matter what happened they'd try to make it work.

And Stella did try, its just that when she caught Stolas cheating of course she felt a lot of things. Angry, lied to, betrayed. This was the guy who told her they were going to try to make it work, and now he was cheating on her. I think Stella would be compelling if she was someone who because of the timing, feels as though Stolas used her for a child and proceeded to throw her out. And so she very much insists upon and teaches Octavia to never rely on men to provide for her but instead to learn to provide for herself and be independent because to Stella, trusting Stolas is what ruined her life.

Stella is someone who due to her limited understanding of Stolas's actions and Stolas's unwillingness to communicate feels wronged by Stolas but ironically despite the twos anger towards each other (Stolas feeling like Stella is choosing not to understand his situation) they both agreed upon not setting up Octavia for an arranged marriage, they've never looked and refuse any offers. I think they would be these sort of rivals in a way that Octavia feels she's being pulled between but the resolution would be them seeing how upset Octavia is and how she feels ignored by both of her parents who spend more time fighting than with her, and its this moment both of them see their daughter upset at them fighting it's somewhat of a wake up call. They dislike eachother but despite their differences, they love her. And its this moment they both realize how they lost sight of what really mattered during all of this. Both of them got so caught up in their emotions and wanting to get back at eachother they never quite thought of how Octavia must have been feeling.

Stories wise this is when their arguments would tone down and we could shuffle in a new big bad guyTM, with Stella and Stolas's arguments now relatively tame where they have the petty argument but they always make sure Octavia isn't their to know about it and largely are focused on whats best for their daughter. I just think overall Stella would be a better character if she was more human, But right now it seems Vivs primary focus is using her to make the fact Stolas cheated on her actually justified, which unfortunately flattens and removes the nuances both should have to come off human.

Jess/Leto + “i’m only whatever you make me.”

This has been buried in the drafts for a WHILE... PG-ish, queued late crosspost, y’all know the deal.

This is her own personal hell.

Her entire life has built to this, to being placed where her order thought she would be most useful without her being given any say or even adequate warning. She is lucky, she knows – as possibilities went, as the rumors that circulated her childhood home went, what was given to her is relatively good. Relatively peaceful planet, no significant conflict on its ground in longer than anyone can remember, the ruling family has been there even longer than that…

And that’s the problem, Jessica thinks two months in, too young to be questioning herself as much as she does. She was made for chaos and war, some echoes of battle queens vibrating through her bloodline, and that is apparently why those above her decided to pair her to someone who… is not that at all, from what she has pieced together so far. Whomever she irritated that much, she hopes this is atonement enough.

He is not weak, she learns that as she wanders and listens through too-thin walls. If anything more capable than she expected, enough that she questions the purpose of her placement. She is not needed here, not sent to be quiet strength nor red right hand at least not yet, and she…

It would be one thing if this man understood what she is, what she was told to do, but no. He wants too much but not in the ways she expected, not in the ways she fears, not-

The problem, the trait that she already suspects will be her tragic undoing one of these days, is that he is too kind and too curious and those are personality traits that get powerful men brutally killed and even now she does not want that to happen. Even now, uncomfortable as she is and doing her best to hide it, even now she knows she would do anything to protect. Such is the nature of what she is, the understanding of her assignment, but…

Some of her sisters, she knows, are sent to kill those they are given to. She was not, but she still knows how. If she wanted to, she could be far more dangerous than she is.

But for now she is young and pretty, and she knows how to adjust her body to be pleasing, and she does not say no to requests she is surprised are even made. She will blame his caution on a lack of trust, an understanding that she may not be what she appears, not on anything in his nature. Once she proves herself, she is sure it will be different. It has to be. It has to-

It is late, and her body is too warm from what has been done to her, and she knows without words that she will stay and fall asleep here. She shouldn’t, should keep boundaries, but that isn’t what he wants, and what she wants doesn’t matter, what she wants isn’t-

“Did I hurt you?”

She likes him too much, this man she should already be trying harder to push away from her. The genuine concern in his voice, the careful hand pushing her hair out of her face, the presence she can only describe as calming and nothing prepared her for this, nothing ever could’ve prepared her for-

“Why do you always ask that?” she counters, turning her head to look at him. He is beautiful like the morning sun, she thinks, and that is how she knows she is absolutely ruined, these thoughts she should not have, she should not-

“You’re so cooperative. Like you don’t have any preferences at all when we’re… together.”

No one else has ever suggested that to her, she realizes as she bites her lip to keep from a more worrying physical reaction. No one else has ever…

“What I want doesn’t matter.”

She’s said that before, that little sentence that seems to fall out of her mouth whenever they so much as cross paths in a main hallway, how often she has to defend herself. She is not… she is not…

But what if she is? What if she becomes more?

She is allowed to modify herself if she considers it necessary, she knows. Adapt into whatever roles make her tasks easiest. Bloom in the soil of this planet, cold as she’s ever known but already so much more of a home, already-

She expects the usual comments about how yes it does, the sort of things she has already learned to ignore, but they are still new and she is still occasionally surprised, still occasionally-

“You could be more assertive,” he says instead, and oh that is much more understandable, like maybe he’s learning her too and at least trying and oh that is terrifying and-

“You would prefer that?”

“I would.”

And she can do that, she thinks as she melts a little more, as the soft smile on her lips becomes a little more real. She can be what is wanted. She is supposed to be what is wanted. She is supposed to-

What she is supposed to do, she knows as her lover covers her body in a soft blanket, won’t mean a damn thing one of these days. But they are not there yet. They are not-

“You’re safe here,” he murmurs, and she hates how clearly he means it. “I’m not scared of you.”

She could like him. She’s going to try not to. She’s going to fail.

Oh my fair non-canon ships, I love them. My forever and ever ship is and will always remain not canon but I'm with you, I never once argued or tried to push it against the canon ships. What other people think of my ships is not my business and I'd prefer them do me the favor of keeping it to themselves, hah.

The CS angst was a lot, wasn't it? How many times can one man die?

It's tragically abysmal how they discount her isn't it? She's out there making the best of it and yet, people always gotta get themselves in a mess. Which is funny how everyone blames her for it like 90%+ of them aren't doing it where people can see and the other 10% has been to protect them. Okay then. I am eternally grateful the things I was doing at 19 are not on some list of unforgivable crimes I get held to every time something in my life happens.

Eloise, my love. You are decently self centered and I think now it's slightly harder to ignore. I remember thinking that in RMB too tbh. She was very cagey about what she was doing while demanding Penelope tell her everything. She seemed a bit put out about Colin and Penelope having this whole relationship she was unaware of like her idea of Penelope shouldn't have to change.

I do think we had Colin being more protective of her for a good reason not just as a set up to where he hurts her at the end of the season. If he hears something beforehand or knows something she doesn't, I think he won't handle it well. Bringing in book elements would almost have to mean some version of his reaction. He was so angry but so worried for her. I think Hero Complex Colin is very capable of coming out in full force.

Oh for sure, I doubt too many people are going to remember any of rumors or other stuff after we get a full season of Polin. I've seen some of the worst takes I've ever seen today, ha, so I think it's possible someone somewhere is going to write an essay on how she should have ended up with LOWK but that seems like a personal problem. I totally get why people might be unhappy about either direction but I agree with you, after their first kiss I have doubts about any of this infighting being a thought worth anyone's time.

I would say 95% of my ships are canon, I dunno I just seem to for the most part end up liking canon storylines. But I would never deny something someone else might enjoy. But I just don’t see the point in going after each other for no reason. Or in the case of what I’ve been seeing today, having ships on the same show attacking each other. Like I just honestly don’t get the point. Shipping is supposed to be a lovely thing that you enjoy that gives you feels. It should make you happy. Not cause grief and anger to others. I like the pretty pictures and the giddiness of all the fan fiction that makes the heart skip a beat.

HAHA Hook did have a way of dying A LOT but God he looked good doing it!!!

I totally agree though about Eloise, she was running around with a lot of her own secrets being very cagey but she was very angry that Penelope didn’t share her darkest secret with her. And book Eloise even more so. So going into Season 3, very very curious if we get any scent of her keeping secrets from her family at this stage of the story seeing how they are tied together in the book but also knowing that we could very well either skip into Benedicts story from here or go into hers next season.

I do think we are going to see a very curious Eloise as she starts to sniff out something going on between Pen and Colin. I am just not sure if it will be that she will try and warn her brother away from Pen because or her knowledge of LW or if its genuine curiosity of what is going on between them because I don’t think she has any sort of clue that either one of them would have feelings for each other at this point.

I want the scene where Eloise finds out that Colin knows about him knowing to be her in shock that he isn’t angry about it. And him being more upset with her that she is still angry after knowing for this long. Because damn girl, talk about holding a grudge, its been a whole season! Lol

Today has been a day of people being angry and floating red flags and angry feelings and sadly, Colin is taking a lot of the brunt of the anger so I’ll be happy for the next 3 weeks to go by quickly so everyone can get the season moving and realize (hopefully so) that they got bent out of shape for nothing. And maybe so some of the other ships in the Bridgerton family can be a bit more welcoming to the next family member up because honestly, that’s the whole point of this show I thought! Next season will be a different person all together. Everyone gets their day in the sun. There is enough love to go around people! Be kind!

alright i’m going to vent in hopes that’ll get my body to fucking rest because i’ve been through several stressful situations and now that they’re over my bodies letting me KNOW it’s tired but not doing anything to fix it. if you want to read my rant go ahead but be warned ITS A LOT

first my friend found a lump in their breast and had to get it screened to see if it was cancer and they couldn’t go in for a week which made me panic because that’s not only my friend who may have cancer but i’m now panicking over my friend dying and worrying about my dads death and that trauma. then i started telling my tragic backstory™️ to said friend and went into detail over the abuse i got in the sorority which then made me relive all that shit. then my sister comes home for christmas and things shift from my normal routine and i try to ignore it but it’s getting more and more annoying and slowly driving me crazy. then my grandpa dies but i’m not upset because my dad didn’t like his family and tried to keep us away as much as possible and also they’re just weird and didn’t like to get together but i am actually upset in some way that i can’t fully identify because i don’t really care about him and i didn’t react the same way i reacted to his death thst i did ti my fathers and grammys death so it’s not that i’m upset upset but i’m still upset over a death in my family and shit but then i feel kinda guilty because of how awful he was to my dad and grandmother which feels like a whole other can of worms that i can’t express to my mom or sister because my mom always hated my grandpa because of how he treated my dad and my sister flat out told me she said she no longer had any grandparents after my grammy died SO I GOTTA RIDE THESE FEELINFS OUT ALONE. then my sister and i get into a fight because schedule and conflict issues if she’s doing X and needs Y because of work but me doing Y is my normal routine and i can’t do my normal routine now because she’s invading my space and it’s been driving me crazy but it took us 30 minutes of yelling for me to finally get to the root with my sister telling me she won’t take my abuse and will cut me out if i don’t start treating her better because to be fair i do treat her badly and don’t realize it so that’s on me and she snapped at me. but then that whole thing sends me into spiral of my sister hates me and we get into a fight over money but she’s actually not mad at me just annoyed because i’m playing the victim because i send her a long message that i think is detailing what she’s not seeing but it’s more me not taking accountability. then i wake up today and find out my friend doesn’t have cancer and see my sister text me back and i then have to swallow my pride and beat back any part of my brain that’s trying to defend myself when i did over react and hurt her and was mostly playing the victim so we’re goodish. and now im trying to fall asleep but my body refuses to do it even though it’s EXHAUSTED

oh, also my period was over a week fucking late for no reason then to make me miserable during the new year :p

TOJI AND MAKI

The parallels between the two outcasts of the zenin clan have already been pointed out plenty of times in canon, for example they're both incredibly buff. However, I thought I would take a deeer look at both characters, as they share both a role as the abused child that destroys the system that created them, and the same fatal flaw.

1. The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

"The Ones who Walk Away from Omelas" is a 1973 work of short philosophical fiction, about a summer festival in the utopian ity of OMelas, whose prosperity depends on the perpetual misery of a single child. The idea is written around the idea of the scapegoat, a reoccurring trope in stories where someone innocent is blamed, or outcast for the mistakes of other characters.

All of this to say that both Maki and Toji represent the archetype of the scapegoats of their generation. Just like the child of Omelas, all of the problems in the Zenin household are blamed on one child.

This is something Ogi does to Maki directly, and also Naoya recognizes that the other members of the clan did to Toji. They were unable to face their own inferiority, so they blamed it on a scapegoat. Ogi blames his failure to become the head of the clan on his children. The entire clan is unable to recognize Toji's strength, because it would make them question their traditionally held notions of strength, Toji requires the use of weapons and can fight without cursed techniques, which means the cursed techniques they were born with don't make them inherently better with other people.

This is also related to Gojo's criticisms of Jujutsu Society at large, of which the Zenin Household is a very toxic microcosm of. Gojo's critique is that the previous generation will sacrifice the lives of the younger generation, to maintain their power, and in the name of pointless tradition. In the Zenin family "tradition" is the idea that inherited curse technique determines a person's worth.

Their entire system is built around one, keeping cursed techniques in the clan, and two, passing down inherited curse techniques from father to child. Which would go farther to explain the treatment of women by the clan, but we're not getting into that this time. Basically, the "peace" and the "superiority" of the household are built on the idea of marking and scapegoating an outsider, that is anyone who doesn't fit in with the clan's traditions. "If you are not of the Zenin Clan you are not a sorcerer, and if you are not a sorcerer then you are not even Human". That quote alone should explain how Maki and Toji were both treated as subhuman 'monkeys' by everyone around them.

However, the story shows us by both Toji and Maki snapping how terrible these abusive power structures are. One person cannot handle all of that alone, so they snap. Of course they snap. It's not a sign of who Toji and Maki are as people, but rather how no one deserves to be treated that way. A major reocurring theme in Jujutsu Kaisen is no one person alone, can take responsibility for everything, not even Gojo who is the strongest can save everyone he wants to save or be responsible for all of society he needs allies too. Toji, and Maki without allies, they snap and lash out against the same abusive power structure that created them. They are so thoroughly othered by everyone around them, that they embrace their own inhumanity, Maki becomes a weapon bent on killing her family even murdering her own mother, and Toji outright calls himself a monkey.

This is also why Toji is referred to as the "destroyer of destinies" there are two reasons for this. One, Gege is making a thematic point here. The abusive system built on othering and excluding children among other things doesn't actually provide the stability it promises. The center does not hold. The abuse of the system perpetuates and only leads to more destruction. Toji's outcasting isn't something that just hurt Toji alone, everyone felt the consequences of it because the abusive system proliferates and only causes further destruction. The second reason is a Jungian idea on which the story is based on. Toji himself is much like a curse created by the actions of his entire family. If Mahito is created from the fear humans have for each other and acts as the shadow of humanity representing their dark side, Toji metaphorically represents the combined shadow and dark side of the zenin clan. In Watch Man, Rorsarch monologues about how the accumulated filth of all of the abuses that happen in the city will one day rise up and affect everyone.

"This city is afraid of me, I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will form up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout save us and I'll look down and whisper no."

This is expressing the same Jungian idea, a society that ignores these problems will only cause the muck to rise up further and further until it affects everyone. The Zenin clan was a microcosm for the abuses of Jujutsu Society as a whole, they weren't the only ones affected by their abuse because abuse perpetuates. They endured it until they snapped and then acted out that abuse. The Jungian idea put forth is that this sort of reckoning was always going to happen, as long as the Zenin clan continues to create these outcasts in order to hold themselves up as superior, another Toji will happen.

2. Love is the Worst Curse of Them All

Toji and Maki also share the same flaw as people. Their abuse revolved around the idea of outcasting them from the rest of the family, othering them, continually putting them down and also most likely not even doing the job of raising them as children or providing them with the help they needed. We don't see much of it, but in the databook apparently Toji regularly had cursed spirits sicked on him to mock him, and Maki was locked in the cursed spirit room as punishment.

This taught them not only do they need to be strong on their own, but also in order to prove themselves they both thought they needed to be stronger than anyone else in the clan. Toji left Jujutsu Society as a whole, whereas Maki just left the house, both of them with the motivation of proving themselves stronger than the people who looked down on them.

This strong sense of individualism is their greatest strength, and also their weakness, as the situation is more complicated than being stronger than a bully. Maki and Toji are made to feel alone because of their abuse, however, neither Maki nor Toji suffer their abuse alone.

Mai was abused right alongside Maki, they were both outcasts due to being twins. There's no point in arguing which one of them had it worse, because Ogi was perfectly willing to kill both daughters right alongside each other. Maki does and doesn't remember that Mai is right alongside her in her abuse, it's... a bit complicated.

I mention this because Makiaated reason why is that she would have hated herself if she stayed inside that household with Maki. She put pursuit of becoming a stronger sorcerer above her relationship with her sister.

Maki later states "I can't create a place where Mai would feel like she belongs". I don't believe that was always her intention from the start that she secretly left the household for Mai's sake, and wanted to get stronger to create a place where Mai belongs, because Maki's always been really clear she was doing it for her own sake. I think rather after the loss she suffered in Shibuya, and also the fight she had with her sister in the school met, that she came to change her mind and realized she wasn't just in this alone. She changed her mind, that she wanted to be together with Mai, but she didn't change it in time and tragedy struck.

I mention this because Maki and Toji both share the same tragic flaw. Both of them have no idea how to be close even to the people they love, so they end up pushing away the ones they love the most. Maki continually shows behavior of pushing away Mai, and in Toji's case he does everything he can to try to show himself he doesn't love his son.

Maki continually pushes away her sister Mai. Mai reacts to getting pushed away in a not-so-healthy way. Toji full on deadbeats his son. He doesn't raise him or participate in his life to the point where Megumi can't remember his face or name at all. Toji did everything he could to try to give Megumi to someone else, anyone else other than him and avoided his responsibility as a father.

It doesn't come from malice on Toji and Maki's part, but rather it's a less savory aspect of their abuse. Both Toji and Maki believe themselves to be worthless, and that they can't be accepted or loved. They've internalized the way the clan has treated them. They are so isolated that this comes out in how they treated their closest loved ones, their response is to always push them away and isolate themselves further. Toji narrates this, he chose to throw his son aside because he wanted to affirm himself and prove that he was better than Jujutsu Society. Maki says to Mai that she left the house and left Mai because staying would have meant hating herself.

They are both trying desperately to prove themselves as individually strong, to the point where loving anyone else, or even requiring that love from someone is a weakness. They prove they are strong by avoiding the vulnerability of loving someone else. Toji and Maki both try to separate themselves from their heart in order to become even more physically stronger. For Toji his heart was his son Megumi who he did everything to distance himself, forgetting his name, selling him to the Zenin clan, while at the same time paradoxically believing that he was somehow protecting Megumi and arranging for things that would have been better than Toji just stepping up as a father and taking care of him.

At the same time Maki pushes Mai away when Mai does not want that, and believes that also she can return to the clan and make it a safe place for her sister by being individually stronger than everyone else.

They both approach their loved ones this way, because they were taught that one, they are unworthy of love, and they choose to try to get stronger by throwing away anything that might make them vulnerable.

TWhich is why Maki breaks so hard, and lashes out at everyone when Mai is gone, because Maki believed that keeping Mai separate from herself and protecting her was her way of showing love.

However, Mai and Megumi are like... people. They're people entirely separate from Maki and Toji and also affected by their actions. Megumi was neglected his entire lives, whereas Mai didn't get to have a relationship with her sister and felt like she was worthless and only holding her sister back. This is the central idea of Toji and Maki's abuse narrative, that abuse is complicated, and abuse proliferates and hurts people you don't even intend for it to hurt. It has consequences. Megumi suffers the consequences of the Zenin family's abuse because it turned Toji into such an unfit and emotionally immature father. Mai was being abused alongside Maki, and even ended up dying from her abuser's hand as her father Ogi beat her half to death and locked her in a room. Now, as a consequence Maki is lashing out at everything around her. That's also why the connection between Toji and Maki is drawn, to show that as long as the abusive institution still stands, it's just going to keep creating more outcasts like Toji and Maki.

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter One

Chapter One: The Other Wilson Sister - chapter two

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n grew up with Sam and Sarah Wilson in the bayou of Delacroix. During the Blip she stayed with Sarah to help run the family business. With Sam back and trying to save the day, Y/n’s perfect opportunity to confess her long-kept secret to her best friend presents itself.

Warnings: tfatws ep.1 spoilers, language, suicide mention, undertones of racism, lots of Wilson sibling arguments, tragic backstory

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: As I wrote this first chapter out I realized it’s most definitely also a Sam Wilson x platonic fic. Bucky doesn’t come in till next chapter but rest assured, it’s gonna be a wild ride...Also I didn’t know till now how difficult it is to plan out a series in its entirety when the show isn’t completed lol. Hope you enjoy! (I may or may not change the title depending on how I feel about it later today lol)

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Delacroix, LA 2024

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One of the only things I was certain of in life was that blood didn’t make a family.

I had no official tie to Wilson family, I wasn’t a daughter or some distant cousin sent to live with them. We shared no DNA and they had no reason to love me as much as they did. But throughout my life I had known no kinder people than them and I doubted that would change. As I stood on the family boat helping to unload the catch of the day, I thought of how our corner of the Louisiana bayou felt more like home than any place I’d ever been.

“Hey,” Sarah said from the dock, “Head out of the clouds and down here helping me.” “Sorry,” I shook myself out of my thoughts and hopped off the boat, “Not a bad catch if you ask me.”

Sarah sighed as she bent over a large bucket of fish, “It could’ve been better.” I came to stand in front of her and held my hands out for a bucket, “Take the wins where you can get ‘em, Sar. Lord knows we don’t get enough of them.” Sarah Wilson was the only superhero I’d ever aspire to be like. She was a widow who had raised two kids and run a business all by herself with no family for support. The past five years had been challenging with so many people gone and while I had moved in with her to help however I could, I could take no credit. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known.

“You had that look on your face again,” she said as we worked.

“What look?”

“That look that lets me know you were thinking real hard about something,” Sarah imitated the expression in question by thinning her eyes slightly and furrowing her brows, “Like this.” I laughed heartily at her impression, “So what was it?” I gazed out at the bayou waters before turning to the boat and finally Sarah, “Family.”

She nudged me with her hip, something we’d done when we were young and an affectionate gesture we’d carried into adulthood. A half hour went by with us and the boys unloading and sorting the fish we’d caught. I was too wrapped up in the task to notice the sound of a vehicle approaching until AJ and Cass announced the arrival. 

“Blue for the snapper, orange for the whitefish.”

“Uncle Sam!”

My head shot up upon hearing his name, as did Sarah’s. I used my hand as a visor against to sun to spot the familiar rusted truck parked a few hundred feet away, with my best friend standing outside it hugging his nephews.

“That’s right, Uncle Sam,” Sarah called, “You’re back early.”

I grinned as I shucked my gloves off and made a beeline for him, slamming my body into his for a tight embrace. It had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, having spent the only weekend he was off away, and I’d naturally been worried sick about him. My best friend and un-biological brother may have been an Avenger for years, but after losing him in the Blip I didn’t think I’d ever stop worrying about him.

“Every time I come home, you act like I’ve been gone for five years,” he joked over my shoulder, resulting in me pulling away and slapping his bicep.

“Not even a little funny,” I pointed a finger in his smug face, he slung an arm around my neck as we walked over to Sarah.

“What’s goin’ on? You got Mom’s sneaky look on your face.” “How you gonna try to read me when you know I’m the one that reads you?” Sam smiled, passing by and greeting a long time customer of ours. “That look is permanently glued to his face, Sar,” I chuckled, “I learned that in grade school.” Sam shook his head at me and laughed before making his way up the dock to the Wilson family boat. “You gotta marvel at it, baby’s being held together by duct tape and prayers.” I leaned into Sarah, “Are you telling him or am I?” She took the initiative, “It just needs to float long enough for me to sell it.” “I thought we were gonna discuss if we were selling it,” Sam replied as he helped unload another bucket of fish. “We did, and then you were off fighting Doctor Space Cape or whatever while we,” Sarah gestured between us, “Were holdin’ it together for five long years. Now that the world is going back to normal, this thing’s gotta go.”

Sam looked to me with a look of displeasure, “Were you in on this?” “Don’t drag me into this,” I waved my hands as if wiping my involvement away, “This is a Wilson sibling discussion.” “Uh-uh,” Sam called me out, wagging his finger, “Don’t do that. Dad said every chance he got that you were one of his own, you’ve got a say in this too. What is it?” I scrunched my face up, dreading the argument that was knocking on our door, “It’s dead weight, Sam. The money we could get for it would be enough to keep us comfortable for a little longer without having to worry.” “We grew up on this thing. It’s not just Mom and Dad’s name on it. This thing is a part of our family.”

I sighed as Sarah stepped forward, “You know the situation we’re in. This is why I prefer not to dwell on it in front of everybody.” “Well what if we don’t need to sell it?” Sam said. “Can we talk about this in private?” I suggested, tiring of having to convince Sam that we were in the right when he hadn’t been around to witness our struggles. A long time friend of ours called out to Sam and he willingly took the distraction, opting out of having the inevitable difficult conversation. Sarah and I trudged back, totes of fish in hand and tried to get through the rest of the work day without worrying if we were approaching our last.

————

During golden hour, when the clock had struck five and we’d started packing it up for the day was the only time to get Sam to actually listen. I knew how much the boat meant to him, it meant something to us all, but he wasn’t living in the reality that Sarah and I were.

“Sam, the boat’s gotta go,” Sarah finally said, breaking the silence we were working in on the vessel. “Wait-“ “No, let me finish,” she said, “Y/n and I are doin’ everything I can to keep this business afloat and every day we’re making $5 and spending $10.” Sam looked between the two of us, “So why won’t you let me help?” 

“Sam, don’t…” I winced, knowing Sarah’s reaction would be strong.

“No, don’t start with that. We made a deal before Daddy died,” Sarah carried a few buckets to the center of the deck, “You’re out there, I do things my way here. Y/n agreed to it too when she went off to school.” “Right, but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans,” Sam finished tying off one of the ropes, turning around and giving Sarah the perfect opportunity to punch his chest, “Forgot how hard you hit.” I sighed as I passed him by to follow Sarah, “Low blow, you deserved it.” 

“Sarah, Y/n, c’mon,” he chased after us, “Look, and don’t hit me again…What if you had money to fix it up? Make it nice so you can charter it when you’re not out working the waters?” “Sam, do you think this was an easy decision for us?” I faced him, leaning against the doorway next to him, “I tried every tactic I learned in business school and got nowhere. Anything I thought up, we needed more money to do. This is our only option.” As he always did with the things he cared about, he fought. “We can take a loan and consolidate everything, it’ll take down your monthly,” he looked confused as he watched Sarah laugh, “What?” “You think I didn’t try the banks? They’re in with all that big business now.” I followed them like the little sister I’d always been as they moved their fight towards the cockpit of the boat. Sam blocked another doorway, “Yeah, but now you have me.”

“Don’t, Sam,” Sarah shook her head, “I just got good with this.”

“All right…”

“Maybe it is time for us to move on,” Sarah sighed. “Either way, just let me help,” Sam offered, “I’ll set the appointment. Look, I won’t let you guys down. We can turn this shit around. Trust me.” I peered over at Sarah, wishing I could see the calculations going on in her brain. It seemed pointless, but any shot at changing our luck was an avenue worth pursuing.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I shrugged.

Sarah finally relented, “To the rescue, huh?”

“Always,” Sam smiled, “Now, let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry.” ————

Sarah was taking AJ and Cass back home while Sam and I took his truck to go pick up food.

“So how was Tunisia?” I asked, sticking my hand out the window and letting it rise and fall with the wind.

“Hot, but the mission went well,” he answered, looking out of the corner of his eyes at me, “And that’s all you need to know.”

I snickered, “C’mon, it’s our thing. I ask you detailed questions about your confidential missions, you tell me you can’t reveal anything, I keep asking…You’ve gotta honor tradition.” “I flew, I fought, I rescued. Boom, mission explained.” “Ugh, you’re impossible, Wilson,” I waved him off, “How was the museum dedication?” The atmosphere changed as the subject of conversation changed from easy to complicated. “It was nice to see Steve’s accomplishments celebrated. Got to see Rhodes which was nice…” “You’re avoiding a red white and blue topic,” I said, trying to coax his true feelings out of their shells, “Seriously, are you really okay with this? Giving up the shield?” Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think it was ever meant to end up in my hands. I did the right thing, it belongs with Steve and the museum is the closest to Steve I can get.” I respected my friend’s choice but I knew there was so much more to his decision and I wished he would just say it. He had an enormous amount of respect for Steve Rogers and what the shield represented, but Steve Rogers never had to face the issues that Sam Wilson did. Steve Rogers could follow a government and be respected in return with no problems whatsoever. Sam Wilson couldn’t, not always. There was an elephant in the room and if neither of us wanted to talk about it, I wouldn’t push it.

“You’d have looked good in that uniform though,” I smiled as we turned into the take out place’s parking lot.

“Damn right,” Sam waggled his eyebrows and unbuckled his seatbelt. Laughter rang out in the truck sending me on waves of nostalgia. The memories that me and him had in this truck still were infamous between us. As proud as I was of the Falcon’s heroics, I was prouder to call Sam Wilson my best friend.

————

Just as he’d promised, Sam made the appointment with the banker. He and Sarah were already on their way as I made the hour long drive in the opposite direction to New Orleans. I’d told them I’d be back in the evening to discuss how it went, but I had my own appointment to keep.

Sam and I had met back when we were just a couple of first graders. I’d always struggled with making friends as a kid, but Sam never had an issue when it came to connecting with others. It was one of his strongest qualities. And so he used his gift on his desk neighbor, the loneliest kid in class, and pulled her out of herself. We were inseparable until college and adulthood forced us apart, but we’d never lost our bond. Even when he was a pararescue, he wrote to me as often as his work allowed him.

All the Wilsons had taken a liking to me after Sam brought me home one day after school to watch cartoons. Darlene had told me I was welcome to come over any time I wanted, an offer Sam and I accepted till I became a permanent fixture in their house. Paul and his wife had frequently tried to get the rest of my family over for a crawfish boil or a barbecue. They’d send me every few weeks with a verbal invitation to my parents and the next day I’d always come back with a polite decline and excuse as to why we couldn’t make it. Mom was busy with spring cleaning, Melanie had a recital, Dad was feeling under the weather…

The only one that had ever been true was about my dad not feeling well. He was never well. But as a child, how do you explain that your father is a ghost around his own home who drinks himself to sleep and wakes up each night screaming from nightmares? There was no polite way to phrase circumstances that dark. Sometimes I felt like my dad had never returned from the military and though there hadn’t been a war at the time of his service, he still came back with his share of trauma. Mom did everything she could to try and help him. She found support groups for veterans, she took him to the best psychiatrists, she created a safe space for him within our home to retreat to. There was no amount of help that could kill my father’s demons and that was proven the night he’d said we were out of milk and he was going to the store. A few hours later, with my sister and I fast asleep upstairs, my worried mother answered the door and was informed by the police that my father had crashed his car and was dead. After speaking to Mom about what his mood had been like before he’d left and if he suffered from any mental illnesses, it was ruled as an undoubtable suicide.

My mother didn’t get much time to mourn after the funeral, she had two children to provide for. She took three jobs just to earn enough to move us from our house in New Orleans to a dingy apartment in Delacroix by the bayou. When the Wilsons heard that Mom needed to scrape enough money in the budget to hire a baby-sitter for me and Melanie, they put a stop to her efforts immediately. The insisted that Mel and I would be happier spending the time my mom was working with them and their kids rather than a stranger. That was how the Wilsons and the Y/l/ns had ended up so tightly knit. While Sarah and Melanie had bonded as the older sisters and were often off doing their own thing, Sam and I caused havoc of our own in classic younger sibling fashion. By the time we were in high school, both parents called the other’s children their own.

When Paul and Darlene passed away, it was incredibly hard on all of us and it was equal when Mom had a fall and the doctors suggested she move into a facility. Sam, Sarah and I had worked hard to get her into one of the best nursing homes in the city and she hadn’t stopped raving about how much she loved it. Pulling into the parking lot was like muscle memory now, I never missed a weekend visit with her. This one was special because Melanie, her husband and brood of children had come too. I grabbed my visitor’s sticker at the front desk and made my way down the familiar hallways. The sound of laughter and cooing echoed out of my mom’s room, bringing a smile to my face.

I knocked on the door and heads turned, my nieces and nephews being the quickest. “Aunt Y/n!” I embraced Sophia and Max tightly, “The twin tornados! I missed you guys,” separating from them was difficult as they clung to me but I made it to Stephan, giving him a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Mel, “You look hot, mama.” “I certainly don’t feel it,” she remarked as she cradled their newest addition, baby Alexandra, close to her chest, “I spend more hours of the day covered in glitter glue and spit up than you could imagine.” “You wear it all well,” I patted her shoulder before coming to my mother’s bedside and hugging her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” she kissed both of my cheeks and looked to the door, “Sarah and Sam couldn’t come?” “No, but they send their love. They had an appointment at the bank,” I set down my purse and pulled up a chair, “We’re trying to get approved for a small business loan.”

Glen took Alexandra from Mel so she could tend to the twins, “I wish we could help out, Y/n. I’ve looked at the budget over and-“ It warmed my heart that my brother-in-law cared so much about a problem that wasn’t his to bear. “Glen,” I held up a hand, “You guys are stretched thin enough. This isn’t me asking for charity, it’s our problem and Sam’s confidant we’ll find a fix.” “How does he have enough time to be a member of the Air Force, an Avenger and save the family business?” Mel asked.

“Well, the Avengers are kind of off doing their own thing right now from what I understand and he’s home for a little while from the Air Force,” I explained, “So his main job at the moment is to get us our funding and annoy the snot out of me while doing it.” After earning some giggles from Sophia and Max at the expression, Glen announced that they were going to go and grab lunch for everybody. My mom took my hand once it was just the two of us and I settled into my seat, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hanging in there,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “Tired, stressed, I smell like fish most of the time…We need this loan or else we’re going to have to sell the boat. You should’ve seen Sam’s face when Sarah told him…”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that boat means to you kids. I could’ve offered you the moon and stars and it still wouldn’t have been enough to get you off it.” I smiled at the memories of summer nights spent laying on the deck stargazing, dance parties on the stern and early mornings spent with Mr. Wilson teaching us how to fish. A childhood with so much sadness had also contained so many joys. To part with a tangible one killed me more than I’d let on to Sam.

Sensing that the topic was making me emotional, my mother was kind enough to change it. “How are things otherwise? Have you been getting out there?” I dropped my head back dramatically and groaned, “Mom…” “I’m just saying,” she dropped my hand and held up hers in surrender, “You should get out there, meet someone. There’s no shame in trying those online dating services. What’s the one…the…Tinder?” “Oh my gosh, Mom,” I buried my face in my hands and moved my fingers so she could only see my eyes, “Please stop talking.” “You know who I ran into the other day? Jack’s mom, from high school. She lives just down the next hallway, she says that he’s still single. You could get in touch with him.” “Y’know, for a woman who advocated for her daughters to lead such independent lives, you’re sure quick to try and marry us off,” I chuckled, “The second Mel started dating Glen you were practically booking the church.” “And I’m very proud of both my girls for being such strong young women,” she smiled proudly, “But finding love doesn’t mean losing your independence so long as you’re with the right man. I love that you’ve been helping out Sarah these last few years but honey…I see how lonely you are. In those big y/e/c eyes you think I still can’t read after all these years.” The y/e/c eyes in question started to fill with sadness at hearing my pain verbalized. It was true, I was lonely. More so than I would ever let on to anybody. I was a shy enough kid who only withdrew further after Dad passed away, that kind of introversion wasn’t one that you outgrew. But I’d given up the idea of finding someone to spend my life with a long time ago for a bevy of reasons.

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, Mama,” I nodded as if to force myself to agree with my statement, “No chances of getting hurt…or hurting somebody.” “You couldn’t hurt somebody even if you tried,” my mom argued sweetly, “You couldn’t even kill spiders when you were a kid.” “And now there’s a Spiderman out there so I’m glad I didn’t,” I shot back with a laugh.

“I’m serious, honey,” she took my hand once again, “Don’t let your heart’s wounds keep you from finding someone who could help soothe them.” 

I was convinced my mother was both a poet and a therapist at some point in her life, she gave advice in the most beautifully phrased way. And while I’d loved to have taken her words to heart, tell Mel to fix me up with one of Glen’s friends and put an end to my loneliness, I feared that I was just too broken to give love to someone.

————

I arrived back home late, shedding my boots and bag at the doors. I’d expected to hear a triumphant chorus of Sam shouting ‘WHO DA MAN?’ as he typically would when heroically proving me and Sarah wrong, but there was only silence. When I walked into the kitchen and saw their glum faces, it wasn’t hard to guess the outcome of the meeting. “You’re kidding me…” “Said that things had tightened up,” Sam said, leaning against one side of the island and taking a swig of his beer, “Had the balls to ask me for a picture afterwards.” I groaned and grabbed the beer bottle Sarah had extended to me, “Okay, we’re out of options. It’s time to move forward-“ “Don’t say it…” Sam tiredly warned.

“Someone has to, Sam. We can’t keep searching for solutions when the right one is sitting out on our dock,” I gestured to the window that looked out on the road we took each day to work.

Sarah set her beer down and held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not having this argument again tonight, I’m going to bed. If you’re gonna kill each other, do it quietly.” She left as me and Sam silently stared each other down, waiting for the other to speak. I was too frustrated to play the game, “What’s this really about?” “It’s about the damn boat and that you and Sarah are throwing in the towel too-“ “What,” I elongated the single syllable word, “Is this really about?” Sam set his drink down and rubbed his hands over his head before looking back up at me helplessly, “You guys were on your own for five years and you’ve done an amazing job. But now nothing’s working and I just…I just want to help because I couldn’t for so long.” It all clicked as to why Sam was being so insistent on trying to eliminate the whole matter. He was used to saving the day and finally meeting one that he couldn’t save was a wall he thought he could still find a way to run through. He’d been like that ever since we were kids, always trying to help the people he loved even when it was impossible. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever met.

“I love you,” I set down my bottle and crossed the island to come next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, “But this may be one problem that the Falcon can’t swoop in and fix. The Avengers work hard, but a business graduate helping to run a struggling seafood business works harder,” I succeeded in getting him to crack a smile, “Believe me, I’ve run all the numbers and consulted with anyone who would listen. The boat’s gotta go.”

“Yeah, well, humor me and give me a little while longer.”

“Fine, a couple more days,” I grabbed my beer once again and clinked it against his, “But it’s not my fault if Sarah smacks you again.” Sam laughed, slung an arm around my neck and kissed my temple. “You coming up soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a few minutes,” I answered, watching as he finished his drink before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. Once I’d heard his bedroom door open and close, I exited out to the back porch. I took in the late night sounds of the bayou, the crickets chirping and the wind rustling trees had always soothed me. I wished they could touch what I was feeling right now, but the noise didn’t do a thing to drown out my worry. For the business I feared we may lose, for Sam as he ran himself ragged trying to help and for myself and what him and Sarah would think of me once I confessed the secret I’d kept from them for so long.

I held out my hand and watched as the blue energy flowed from my fingertips. Would Sam ever forgive me for not telling him I had powers? They had manifested when I was young, my parents said. I couldn’t remember a day where my body hadn’t produced a magical energy that when harnessed incorrectly could be destructive. It had been a sad day for my mother’s garden when I’d discovered that bit…According to her, she’d wanted to take me to a school for people like me run by a man named Charles Xavier but my father had said no immediately. He’d been so insistent on keeping my powers a secret that my mother said she’d only seen that type of fear in his eyes when he had a war flashback. So I was instructed to never show my powers to anyone under any circumstances and I’d done just that. I’d thought about revealing them in 2012 after the Battle of New York, but my dad’s fear rang in my ears. Three years later when Sam became an Avenger was when I began to feel guilty that I was keeping a secret from him. I’d wanted to join him and find somewhere where I didn’t feel so out of place, but I’d decided against it again. Now with their team so broken and Sam off with the Air Force, I’d finally gathered the courage to confide in him and Sarah. I should have done it six months ago, but I’d chickened out too many times. Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow was the day. But would they still see me the same way once I showed them? ————

The next morning, after dressing and running over what I wanted to say three times, I hesitantly headed downstairs to face the music. With there being nobody in the kitchen, I followed the sounds of the television to find Sarah and Sam staring at the screen intently. I stood to the side of the room and watched a suited man give a speech out front of a government building. “We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.”

My jaw slackened as a man marched out in front of the gathered press, dressed in a variation of Steve Rogers’ patriotic uniform and carrying the iconic shield. The shield that had only weeks ago sat upstairs in Sam’s bedroom in a case. I dragged my gaze away from the screen to look at my best friend, hunched over in his seat with his eyes shut in sorrow. Sarah looked just as distraught, her eyes trained on her brother as well. We waited in silence until the breaking news broadcast switch back to regularly scheduled programming before Sarah switched the box off.

“I thought you said it was going to stay in the museum,” I finally spoke, my voice choked with emotion.

“It was supposed to,” Sam ground out, his grip on his own hands tightening. Without any warning, he rose from his seat and left the room. My instinct was to follow him and try to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say to ease the deep pain he was feeling. I wasn’t even sure I could form words that weren’t doused in raw shock. The two things I was sure of were that a) the government had fucked up royally and b) now was definitely not the time to tell Sam about my powers.

————

It was a few days later and Sam still hadn’t spoken much to Sarah and I about the situation. It was unnatural for Sam to suffer in silence especially around us, but we both gave him the space he needed. 

I was taking laundry to AJ and Cass’ room and had to pass by Sam’s, surprised to see him packing a bag. “Thought you were sticking around.” “Something big came up,” he replied as he set a stack of t-shirts in his duffle bag, “I need to go check it out.” I leaned against his doorway, “Air Force big or Avengers big?” “The second one.” “And you’re going by yourself?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam looked over his shoulder at me finally, “Don’t have anybody to else to call. Besides, I can handle myself.” I hummed in response before setting down the stack of laundry, an idea forming in my head that could solve both of our problems. I folded my hands together and dug my feet into the carpet, “What if you didn’t have to go by yourself?” He looked confused, “What are you talking about?” My folded hands began to make circles in the air as I struggled for the right words, “What if I came with you?” “What, like take your family to work day something?” Sam scoffed, “That’d be fun.” “I’m serious.” “Are you crazy? Of course you can’t come.” “Hear me out,” I looked to his bag and the pair of jeans he had next to fold, “Actually watch.” He folded his arms and waited for my demonstration. I took a deep breath and extended my hand, forcing my energy outwards to levitate the jeans. “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed as he watched me maneuver the clothing inside his duffle, “W-w-what…What was that?” I shrugged and pulled my hand back to my side, “The reason why you should take me.”

“How long have you been able to do that?” “Since I was a kid,” I moved out of the doorway and closed the door, the last thing I needed was AJ and Cass knowing their aunt could move things with her mind, “My parents told me never to tell anybody. I’ve thought about telling you for years since you’re used to this kind of thing but I was scared…Then you were gone and when you came back, life was moving non-stop and I lost my courage. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sam stood with his jaw hung for a few seconds before shaking his head back into reality, “Why are you apologizing? You never had to tell me, but I’m glad you did,” he pointed a finger towards me, “But you’re still not going.” “What are you talking about? I’d be an asset to whatever it is you’re fighting! And I love you but c’mon bird boy, you may be able to fly but I can do it without any tech.” “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” Sam gestured between the two of us, “You think insulting me is the way to get me to let you come?” “Come on,” I moved to sit on his bed, “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll prove that I can help.” “Alright, alright,” Sam took a stance in front of me, “You wanted to hear the tea on my missions, I’ll spill it. There’s an online group called the Flag Smashers, their MO is to get the world back to the way it was during the last five years. My military contact, Torres, went undercover in Switzerland when they robbed a bank. Knocked him unconscious when he tried to fight back.” I balanced my elbows on my knees and tapped a finger against my lip, “So kind of a Robin Hood deal, right? Stealing things from the rich and giving it to the poor. In this case, the poor being those who never disappeared.” “Exactly, except the guy that knocked Torres out was strong. Too strong. I’m thinking they could be a part of-“ “The big three.” Sam’s neck snapped back, “How do you know about the big three?” I shrugged nonchalantly, “The little you do tell me about your avenging always ties back to either androids, aliens or wizards. Though I think you’re being a little dramatic with the term ‘wizard.’”

“Are you seriously gonna correct the guy who’s actually there doing the fighting?” “Are you seriously gonna deny yourself valuable help against either an alien or an android?”

Sam sighed, I was successfully backing him into a corner. “Can you even fight?”

Extending one hand, I levitated Sam and gently slammed his back into the ceiling before reversing course and lowering him onto the carpet. He moaned as he rolled over to face me, “Could’ve given me a concussion.” “Maybe that would knock some sense into your head,” I stood and gave him my hand to pull him up, “Sam, I know that I don’t have any experience but I am more than capable of defending myself. I want to actually do something with these powers instead of sitting on my ass. I’d rather do it with you than on my own. Please?” I watched the cogs in his mind turn through his eyes, I knew he was only fighting this hard because he wanted to keep me safe. But he was in way over his head if he thought it wasn’t worth taking me with. He accepted my hand and stood to his full height, “Pack a bag, we’re leaving for the air base in an hour.” I smiled and threw my arms around him, “Thank you, you won’t regret this.” “I’d better not,” he warned, his arms stayed straightened in displeasure of my enthusiasm, “If you take some stupid risk and put yourself in jeopardy, I’m putting your ass on a plane home.” Quick footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway until the door opened to reveal Sarah, “What was all that noise? It sounded like you were throwing each other into walls.” “Busy,” I quickly dismissed her, using my energy to shut the door in Sarah’s face from a distance.

“Um,” her muffled voice rang through, “What the hell was that?!”

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Thoughts about S6

This is gonna be a little all over the place. Just me rambling, really. 

So, I went up to LA to watch the show with some fandom friends on Friday. We had an absolute blast. I loved the finale season of the show. LOVED. I had some quibbles, of course, but none worth lingering on at length. I know the ending was controversial for some, but not for me. It worked on all levels. 

I didn’t have much love for the end of 5B (I know, y’all are probably shocked, given some of the things I’ve written re: Lucifer becoming God or godlike) which is why I never really chimed in on the post-5B discussion. I just couldn’t muster much enthusiasm about it, and I didn’t want to froth about or hate on it when other people were having fun and gushing. 

But my main issues at the time involved: Lucifer suddenly wanting to become God felt poorly setup and unearned, and Chloe suddenly quitting the force to support Lucifer becoming God felt incredibly impulsive, perhaps almost out of character. 

S6 not only was perfect for me in its own right, it actually went back and fixed my S5B issues retrospectively. Lucifer suddenly wanting to become God felt poorly setup because it WAS poorly set up. On purpose. He never actually wanted to be God. It wasn’t his calling. And Chloe dropping her Detective job so suddenly WAS impulsive. On purpose. She really didn’t think that one through and ended up being bored out of her fucking mind without that job to engage her problem-solving brain. So ... kudos to the writers for that. I am so pleasantly surprised by that backtracking and never expected it.

As far as season 6 goes ... oh my gosh, what a brilliant roller coaster. Like @tarysande, I also spent a large portion of the season wondering what the evil trick was with Rory. I didn’t trust ANYTHING she said for many episodes. I kept waiting for a shoe to drop that never did. I really appreciate that Deckerstar did not get married—I never felt like a marriage was necessary for them given where they were in their life (a divorcee and a Devil who isn’t beholden to human constructs of law). I actively did not want a Deckerstar baby, but the show did it in a way I found absolutely lovely. Rather than using Rory as a magical “happily ever after” button as so many shows do, she was a tool to create massive character growth in Lucifer, and I am so on board with that. 

I cried during this season. Frequently. Which is something that rarely happens for me when watching or reading fiction. I am just ... so stupidly emotionally involved in these great characters. 

Some people may fixate on the separation between Lucifer and Chloe until her death, but to me ... it worked. Lucifer found a higher purpose and chose to fulfill it, to keep his promise to his daughter—to be a better father for Rory than his father was for him—and he does still ultimately get a “happily ever after” with his family and friends and dearest loved ones. It just starts a little later than planned. Chloe, meanwhile, gets to live her life knowing without doubt the love of her life is not only okay & pursuing his calling, he’s waiting for her on the flip side. They’ll have eternity together—ETERNITY, in exchange for a few decades apart. Bittersweet? Yes. Tragic? No. So I am okay with this. This is a level of certainty no real human ever gets—and as someone with zero certainty about the future whatsoever, I can’t express enough how much this foreknowledge alone would be a comfort in difficult times. It really resonates with me as a meaningful gift.

I do agree that there’s plenty of room for Lucifer to see Chloe without Rory’s knowledge, though I’m on the fence about how realistic this is. I think Dan called it, honestly. Having to watch and not participate is more torturous than not participating at all. And, as I said, he gets to see everybody eventually. He knows his daughter will understand—actively consents, even—and he knows their reunion will come.  He knows Chloe will come back to him, too, because he’s grown to trust and love her fully.

Along those lines, Lucifer showed amazing character development this year. Once this man figures out his feelings and commits, he is ALL IN. I was so proud of him, talking out his feelings, and saying I love you, and hugging people left and right. His goodbyes made me tear up, particularly the scene with Maze. Which. OMG. These two. That scene was a long time coming, and so heartfelt. i loved it. I also loved how comfortable in his own skin he finally seemed this season. He utilized his wings SO MUCH. And his devil face where appropriate. And there was zero angst about any of it.

Time travel is a trope that tends to break my brain, but ... I think Rory showing up is what enabled her own conception. Lucifer didn’t think he could have kids until he finds out he does in the future and then boom, suddenly he can conceive. He self-actualized working swimmers. I know this creates a chicken or the egg paradox—how could this loop ever even start if Rory hadn’t existed at least once on her own—buuut, I’ve definitely seen this trope used in other shows, such as Netflix’s Dark. So, imho, there was an added level to Lucifer’s sacrifice at the end—he wasn’t just trying to preserve his own epiphany via a promise to his daughter, he was actively choosing to save his daughter’s entire existence, and he was choosing to be different from his father.

People who think Lucifer was robbed of choice ... I beg to differ. For the reasons stated above, and also? He was the one who came up with the idea of returning to Hell. No one forced that on him. The only thing Rory did was speed up his time table. And I think there’s a beautiful kind of symmetry to the idea of him returning to Hell and choosing to reframe it as a place of healing, rather than eternal suffering. In a sense, he’s making his own Plan for himself. He’s defining his role in the universe: the Devil, not God. He’s defining his family: Chloe, Rory, Trixie, Dan, Maze, Eve, Linda, Amenadiel, Ella, and all the great friends he’s made. He’s defining his home: not a place, but where his heart is. For the first time in his life, the Devil decided who he is and what he wants to do with his life, instead of letting external forces do it for him.

And I fucking loved every minute of it.

A perfect ending for a long, thoughtful journey.

P.S. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. There’s no wrong way to interpret art and media. But please know I’m not really in the mindset for debate right now. I just want to live in my happy post-S6 bubble. I’d appreciate it if you let me :)