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controld3vil · 1 month

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sand walking?

pairing(s): dune 2 cast x actor!reader (platonic!!)

synopsis: requested by this ask!

⤷ alt: how to seduce someone walking on sand.

notes: there hasn't been confirmed for dune 3 yet but denise villeneuve has said he's writing for it to happen. ill patiently wait for the day it's confirmed :) ALSO there are fictional/made-up mentions of the novel for the sake of the reader. they're made to be gender-neutral!! and this includes platonic flirting between cast members. i MAY have gotten carried lmaoo

“I mean- what do you think of the character? Do you think they deserved more screen time?” The clip starts off with you comfortably conversing with the interviewer. To say you weren’t deflecting their curiosity. In actuality, you were eager to learn what others thought about your performance and take on the character. The only other interpretation had on-screen was from the classic 1984 film by David Lynch.

The clip that has been widely retweeted back is of a cute moment you had from the first film of Dune (2021). Before release, little was known about your character’s potential. Apart from the enthusiastic book lovers, film viewers were clueless about what role your character would play after the first movie.

Denise Villeneuve didn’t reveal much to you in person. He wanted to keep ideas confidential until he was 100% on board making the project come to life. Still, rumors sparked through speculation and interviews with the cast members of Dune. Including an infamous short, that you forgot about, of yourself boasting about your hopes and wishes for your character.

“Yes! How could we not!” On the opposite side, the interviewer exclaimed as they leaned forward from their chair, closing into your proximity. Their hands clenched, tightening their grip on the flash card, full of questions. “The movie left us on such a cliffhanger. I think everyone would want to know what happened to Nerre,”

“That’s for Denise to decide,” Nodding you gave a relaxed smile while lifting one leg over the other. Your shoulders relaxed, feeling content and ecstatic about their response. “I can’t confirm anything until he gives me the green light to say anything,”

“I’ve also talked to Timothée this morning,” A shift in gears as the journalist flipped over another flashcard. You two had just fussed about the finale and its dramatic cliffhanger. “And all he had to say were the sweetest things about you,” At the mention of your costar compliments, you felt your skin heat up. Your eyes soften, expressing only fondness for the lovely message. A soft awh escaped your breath. “He’s very sweet. Timothee's always been fun to be around.” A fervent chuckle from the interviewer sends them into a feverish excitement. “And- he said- you had great flirting skills!” It was then your face morphed into complete shock and giddiness . “Really?!” The camera pans up on your initial reaction, eyes popping out in surprise and a bubbling laugh slowly erupting. “I’m glad someone appreciates my talents!”

Without context, the short clip seemed harmless. Your sheer reaction to Timothee's comment emphasized the fun chemistry the two of you had on set. Mirroring much of Paul and Nerre's friendship, you both complimented each other well in the first film, being the youngest surrounded by well-renowned actors. But the reason for the recent spike of interest was partially from Dune: Part Two and their interviews.

Fast forward to the debut of Dune: Part Two, it made success at the box office. Even surpassing the first film altogether. The entire cast of Dune was proud of the work they've made. The introduction of new characters played by wonderful actors and actresses all around.

Weeks after the early IMAX screenings, press interviews were being published amongst of the young cast members. A particular interview by IGV Presents brings together Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Florence Pugh, Austin Butler, and yourself.

This would be considered to be one of your first interviews with the Dune cast after the box office release. You felt nervous yet overjoyed at the same time to be meeting your co-actors again after the conclusion of filming had taken place.

The spokesperson of IGV, Simon Harkness starts off the interview strong with a pleasant greeting. "Congratulations on an incredible movie. Uhm it is the definition of a sci-fi blockbuster and is absolutely phenomenal, so huge congratulations to you all!"

"Thank you!" The five of you all politely cherish his kind words.

"It's so lovely to talk to you. Um- Timothee, Zendaya, I'm going to start with you. This is probably the hardest question I've ever asked in an interview so you've been warned." An endearing giggle can be seen from Zendaya before allowing him to continue. "Sand walking, who does it better?"

Timothee immediately lifts up his microphone. "I'm going to give it to Zendaya here." Without glancing at her, you could tell Zendaya was happily smiling at his compliments. How quick he was to answer made it seem how well connected the cast was even given the amount of time spent together. The main lead continues very swiftly, diving more into how cinematic the shot was from an outside perspective, "I think it's the most- one of the most cinematic shots in the movie and she really has it very precisely down but it's the nature of the movie too that she's supposed to be better than Paul,"

"Is that what it is?" In return, Zendaya who sat next to him gave him a teasing look.

Quietly from afar where you sat, next to Austin Butler, you whispered. "He acted like he couldn't do it but," Soft snickering can be heard across the room.

"In fairness to me, I was going 65%- 65 to 70 too hard," Chalamet reasons justly as he glances in your direction before looking back to the interviewer.

"You dumbed it down," Harkness nods in a high-spirited manner. Right after, Timothee reluctantly agrees, keeping the mood light-hearted.

"I had to!"

"Just how committed you are!" Austin steps in, joining in on the joke.

"Zendaya, you can take that crown. I love that," The brown-haired man reassures as she recuperates with appreciative laughter. In truth, it was a beautiful scene between Paul and Chani you were lucky enough to witness behind the camera. And contrary to their light banter, you thought both actors did well at accomplishing what it was meant sand walk. Truthfully you had no scenes beyond walking through the desert but understanding the mechanics and traditions of the Fremen was as fascinating as it was watching it up close.

Suddenly it was Florence's turn to speak, "Zendaya taught me the other day and I had to just stop to stare at her feet."

"The swoopy swoop?" You asked in a cutesy tone, with furrowed eyebrows. You couldn't help but remember the few instances you witnessed your costars practice the sand walk to be one of the more adorable rehearsals you've seen on the sand.

"Yeah, her feet were so pretty! She was doing the swoopy swoops," The blonde acknowledges, waving her hands in a zig-zag pattern. As the replication of water and how her feet moved.

The interviewer's eyes light up, "Honestly I tried to swoopy swoop at home- um because we have a carpet in the bedroom."

"How did it go?" The mixed actress puts forward.

"Awful!" An assembly of bewilderment is seen between Zendaya and Florence as they quickly question why. However, they reassure him in the end that they would practice together in hopes of him archiving the sand walk.

Talks with simple questions went down the row. Florence discusses her experience from her beginnings, starring in Little Women, comparing those scenes in terms of royalty to Dune. In both films, she's worked with well-known actors and now Christopher Walken as the emperor and her father. She raves about how it was a dream come true. A dream she had when she was little. From this experience, Florence emphasizes the concept of learning and observing her fellow actors.

Another intriguing topic follows Austin for his experience between learning choreography fighting and Elvis's iconic rubber legs. In a sense, as you leaned forward on one of your seats, you became fascinated by the Elvis actor's comparison of it all. While Elvis's moves were televised and had to be precise for the camera, being a Harkonnens gave him more leverage in the freedom to move. It was a captivating question that you couldn't help but want to listen to more.

Comparisons aside, you didn't have much to note for your upcoming question. Which is exactly why you felt unprepared for what he was going to ask.

Harkness brings up your name for the finale. "You have done stunt work before. For the first and now second film, I've heard you compared it to rather- dancing. Is that what you think your relationship with the choreography has been?"

You gave a content hum, "You see it with the Fremen or Harkonnens right? Everyone moves so differently and for the course for me, I've had to adjust my choreo little by little. And I think that analogy you mentioned really does relate back to dancing. I don't know if it's because I was once a dancer or that I'm a visual learner," You shrug your shoulders, "But I see the choreography as a dance routine. You're moving alongside people, doing hits and jabs. Both are very hands-on so I would like to approach it as something I can always work on." Satisfied with your answer, you clapped your hands together.

"Kind of like sand walking no?" It was then that Zendaya swerved counterclockwise to face you.

Bringing back the conversation they had in the beginning about sand walking, your eyes instantly brighten. "Exactly like that!"

"I feel like you would be great at sand walking," Florence puffs, mindlessly shaking her microphone back and forth. "You- You already got the moves." Even Timothee came into agreement, humming and commenting you worked well with the choreography.

Austin Butler raises his microphone. "I think you gotta learn with me because I don't think I could,"

"Nonsense!" You give him a silly glare. "If you can do a killer rubber leg, I think you can sand walk." Florence and Zendaya both mumble their support and your male costar leans to have his arm around the back of your chair, warmly.

"Is that an open invitation I see?" The spokesperson, Harkness giggly pokes at than the rest of the cast turns to look at you. Your scowl morphs into an innocent one.

"Hm?" As you squint your eyes in hesitation.

"I feel like you could have the potential to sand walk but just with the right partner," Timothee chimes in, spreading his arms over his chair as well. Your brows furrowed accusingly, as if wanting to clarify what he meant by his comment.

And the French actor gives you a look, one you became so sure of. "Mm right!" A slight eruption of laughs before you straightened your back with proper posture. "With just the right partner,"

There were also hints mentioned in your interview with Timothee surprisingly not. This was one of the more recent ones to be published, as you finally were able to pair up with your favorite co-star (besides Brolin) from the first film. The two of you had strong chemistry despite having less screen time together in the second film.

The beginning of the video cuts to a clip of you answering an innocent question. "What I think about every day, is Timothee going to send to me a meme today? Uh, I hope so!" You give a sarcastic look to your seat partner as he latently laughs in front of you. "Or when is he going to text me you know?"

It then transitions to an interviewer from Heart commercial radio as he shouts out your names. "How are you both?"

"I'm doing good!"

"Going great!"

The radio show was more relaxed than you would've expected as the spokesperson was very down to the earth with his conversation starters and contagious warmth. Timothee was able to catch up with him from his last interview when he premiered his Wonka film. Eventually, the interview became more casual discussing working together, cooking, and trendy topics.

Timothee and you both went back and forth on favorite memories you had of the first film. And talking about the new cast members and new elements it had brought to the table for the film itself.

"Cool new characters this time," As you played around with the fuzzy microphone the camera crew gave to you.

"Yup lots of new people to meet," Timothee adds on, nodding.

The interviewer proceeds with the question, "And also you have seen- there's a clip about of you running around actually." He signals to you, "Of your reaction to something Timothee said about your performance in the first film,"

"Oh! I've seen it," Almost instinctively, your co-star raises his hand. "I was supposed to send it to you but I forgot." As he turns, to finds you looking lost at the topic at hand.

"Really what was it?" You almost looked concerned, seeing how you didn't understand what they meant.

Luckily for you, the Heart radio spokesperson managed to get a hold of the video from his phone, "It was a little callback of Timothee raving about your flirting skills."

As it plays, the camera zooms in on you and your co-actors reaction. The French actor couldn't help but look slightly embarrassed but smitten when the timing of your reaction came on screen. While you held an intrigued stance, arms crossed and a content grin.

"I am pretty good at flirting,"

"You really are, huh." At the same time, you both turn to make eye contact.

"I also heard Tim- that you thought that they would be your love interest initially?" At the radio speaker's inquiry, you couldn't help but in mid-sentence, finally, swerve your head suddenly.

"Yeah well, fun fact actually," The male actor tries to reason, sitting up. "In the novels, Paul and Nerre almost did become a couple!"

It was a well-known fact of that in the first novel, there had been slight changes to the story. Initially, it was said that the author, Frank Herbert had planned for Paul and Nerre, the character you played to have a romantic connection after the fall of House Atreides. Nevertheless, it was later scrapped for another plot, that of instead having Chani as the love interest. But even decades later after the novel’s release, it was something fans still fuss about.

"Oh, I heard about that!" Almost in awe, you nodded, your attention fully on Chalamet, wondering how far he was willing to go beyond spoilers.

"Do you think Nerre would ever meet someone then?" The afro man questions, adjusting his microphone. "Since- Paul has Chani, I feel like if we ever get a potential third film, that could open some doors!"

"If a third film could happen," You start, fiddling with the lining of the mic cover, "I hope so! I mean I got the moves, I got the skills!"

"Keep practicing your sand walk and we'll see," Timothee cutely chimes as you proceed to blow a raspberry at him. Only for him to lightly swat you away.

Despite your failures to have scenes of sand walking, your cast of a crew were more than happy to show you. Javier Bardem and Jessica Ferguson were quite supportive in your interest for something you did not have any part-time. A few behind the scene videos show the actor demonstrating from afar the slower version of the walk.

Though your back was facing the camera, viewers would pick up and recognize it to be you. Jessica as well was off to the side, in her luminescent costume of a million robes, clapping from side to side.

Another later pans to you taking long strides across the sand in the background. In front of the camera are Josh Brolin and Javier having their turn in the video, to discuss their relationship and the previous they have worked on together. However, viewers couldn't help but pinpoint your figure alongside the frame trying to master the patterns of what Javier taught you from the previous clip.

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moog-rt · 2 months

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GO TO HELL [ch. 5]

[Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader]

Previous: Chapter Four

➨ Chapter Five

Next: Coming Soon...

Premise:

You love your friends. You really do. But sometimes it needs reminding when one of them accidentally sends you to Hell.

Despite falling into the hands of Hell’s loveliest princess, finding a way back to the world of the living proves difficult as you tiptoe around its king.

A/N: Hold onto your britches, this chapter is chock-full of our Big Boss of Hell! Also, my sincerest apologies for the slight cliffhanger last chapter. Fingers crossed it doesn’t happen again!

If you'd prefer to read on Ao3, here is the link:

Otherwise, enjoy!

♡ ♡ ♡

CHAPTER FIVE

You didn’t dare take your eyes off of him.

The man took a step forward and you promptly launched a ladle at him, backpedaling behind the couch as he dodged it. You huffed when it only missed by a hair.

A plethora of household items were strewn about the hardwood floors of the foyer. Books, spray bottles, spoons (you broke into the crate containing the unpacked kitchenware in search of more ammo), etc. were scattered further and further away from their original home as you used them as a way of keeping him a safe distance from you.

“Please, put the skillet down,” he said, inching closer and closer to you, hands outstretched.

If he thought he could trick you into giving up your only form of defense, he was sorely mistaken.

“Stay back!” you hissed, grabbing a wrought iron skillet you had chucked at him earlier. He could try all he wanted to get at you, eat you, skin you, auction you off on the black market… You simply refused to let him have you without a fight.

“I’m not—” He was taking another step towards you but paused as you readied your weapon. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You eyed him for a moment before taking a long, deep breath. Seeing that as a sign that you were trying to settle down, he carefully came closer.

Thunk!

A single swing of the skillet sent him toppling over.

He may have been your newfound friend’s father, but you were not going to roll over and show your belly in the face of potential danger. Being a parent did not make a person automatically worthy of your trust.

“Okay,” he said in a pained tone, slowly sitting up with a slight sway to him. “That’s fine...”

He crawled onto the couch, slouching over and cradling his head where you had made contact. Without lowering your weapon, you put yourself on the other side of the couch, standing at the arm and watching him very carefully.

The two of you remained silent as he rubbed at his growing welt.

It was awkward…

Why were you actually starting to feel bad about defending yourself? The guy had jump scared you and wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone when you were clearly panicked. He just kept following you, insistent on getting you to calm down but giving you no good reason to.

Honestly, what kind of logic was that? That’s like pelting beach balls at a child with a crippling fear of spherical objects and expecting them not to flinch just because you said it won’t hurt them.

If he wanted you to feel less threatened, he could have just planted his ass on the ground and waited for you to come to him like a stray cat.

“You weren’t supposed to arrive until this afternoon,” you stated.

“Right…um,” he said, looking off to the side, “You know, I just didn’t have much planned this morning, and it worked a bit better for me to come earlier—”

“Charlie told you she wouldn’t be here.” Your eyes narrowed. You knew he was making shit up, and you wanted him to know that you knew. If he wanted to beat around the bush, you would be delighted to become more proficient with the skillet.

“Right again!” The hand that cradled the side of his head moved to rub at his eyes as he sighed. After retracting his hand, he turned to face you, propping an elbow on the backrest of the couch. His eyes ran up and down your body, fully taking you in without your costume, which caused you to shift uncomfortably. Whether or not you were recognizable to him as the ‘demon’ he had already met was still to be determined. “You’re an odd duck, you know that?”

You shot him an incredulous look.

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” he said, jerking his head in your direction. “Showing up all caked in makeup or paint or whatever it is you people wear nowadays. You and Charlie were being painfully suspicious!”

“So, you decided to sneak in when you knew she would be away? To snoop?” you asked, putting a hand on your hip. “You know that’s breaking and entering, right?”

“I am her father,” he scoffed.

“And that makes it okay? If I called to tell her you let yourself in, you think she’d be fine with it?”

“You’re going to snitch?!” his voice went a pitch higher, and he scooted to the edge of his seat.

You took a step back, tightening your grip on the skillet.

“Maybe.”

You had no way of ‘snitching’ on him to Charlie. Your phone was fried, and even then, you weren’t too sure that your provider would have coverage in Hell. And to top it off, you didn’t even have her number…but he didn’t need to know that.

He rolled his eyes, grumbling something to himself as he crossed his arms.

“Why didn’t she just tell me you were human?” he asked no one in particular, throwing his arms out. “That is what you are, correct? In all my years, I have never seen a sinner nor hellborn look as human as you do.”

“Yeah, well…Charlie thought you might freak out if you knew,” you said.

He looked taken aback by that explanation before beginning to sputter.

“Freak—freak out? Because you’re human? I married a human. Her mother was a human!” His hands were waving around as he gestured along with his words.

“We didn’t really want to take any chances…” you said slowly, head tilted away but eyes still locked onto him. “The last time a demon saw me, I was nearly torn to shreds…or eaten alive… I’m not sure exactly what they had planned for me, but it didn’t seem like it’d be pleasant.”

“No, I can’t imagine it would be,” he sighed as he straightened out his hair.

This guy didn’t give two shits, did he?

He snapped his fingers and, with a plume of sparkling smoke, his top hat appeared in his hands. It had previously been about ten feet away on the floor from when you had knocked him upside the head.

“Now just how did you stumble into Hell without the minimum requirement of death?” he asked as he brushed invisible dirt from his hat before placing it back on with a few adjustments.

“That’s a great question,” you said with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I’ve got a friend who thought it would be a good idea to try to summon a demon. Obviously, they screwed up, ‘cause it sent me here instead.”

He cackled, and you stood there with a blank expression, cheeks growing hot. Why you were feeling embarrassed over something you had no control over, you weren’t sure.

Well, come to think of it, you did have a bit of control over whether or not Devon had the essential, hard-to-acquire ingredient needed to make the whole thing happen in the first place. Maybe it was karmic justice for your pulling unethical shenanigans in the workplace.

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, so they say,” he said, shooting you a shit-eating grin.

You rolled your eyes and turned to walk away.

“No, wait–don’t leave!”

You ignored him. Since he was there, you might as well give him his shit back. You would have preferred it to be under different circumstances, such as those where you still had your disguise as a buffer or Charlie returning them in your place (because you’d be back home safe and sound).

But there was no better time than the present, so they say.

You put down the skillet and grabbed the stack of books by the front reception area where you left them after being thoroughly disappointed by their contents. It appeared that Charlie’s father followed you over, as you turned around to find him looking over your shoulder to see what you picked up.

Lord have mercy on your heart.

“Okay, you have to stop that!” you scolded, taking a quick step back.

“Stop what?” he asked with a look of pure innocence.

“Popping up behind me and shit! Somebody needs to put a bell on you or something. Every time you show up out of nowhere, it gives me a goddamn heart attack,” you said, shoving the stack of books into his arms. “Here.”

“What–”

“The books you lent me. We were hoping to find something that could help me get back home but they’re all kinda…not helpful for that,” you explained, toying with a strand of your hair.

“That’s why you and Charlie were there?” he said, looking down at the books with an unreadable expression.

“Well…yes.” You tilted your head. “She thought that’d be the best place to look.”

He sighed before tossing the books up just for all of them to vanish into thin air. You blinked in surprise.

He must have been a magician when he was alive.

“I don’t understand why she didn’t just ask me,” he stressed, throwing a hand up. “I mean, I’m her dad. You’d think it would be instinctual for her!”

“She probably wasn’t sure how you’d react,” you said, looking off to the side. This felt like it could easily spiral into a family therapy session, and even if you were qualified, you did not sign up for that.

“I just have to prove myself to her!” he said in a determined tone, throwing an arm over your shoulder to walk you back over to the couch, “I’ll get you home lickety-split!”

You stiffened at the unexpected contact but conceded to his will, nonetheless.

“Like, now? I could be home today?” you asked, eyes alight with hope.

“Ah…I don’t now about that. It’s been quite a while since I’ve gone to Earth so my skills may be a little rusty, but it won’t take me too long to brush up on them,” he explained as he plopped you both down on the couch. “I’ll have a portal open and ready for you to hop through in no time!”

“It–It’s that easy for you?” you asked, aghast. If Charlie knew he could do that all along, she should have just bit the bullet and asked him. Daddy issues be damned!

“Hah! I used to be able to do it with my eyes closed!” He leaned into you as he emphasized his words. “Usually, I’d charge a sacrifice or something of the sort, but you’re no sinner. You shouldn’t have to be subjected to this hellscape until you’ve earned it.”

“That’s–uh–very kind of you,” you said, smiling and nodding along whilst looking longingly at the front door of the hotel. It was generous of him to offer his services to your cause, but a social buffer would be appreciated considering your circumstances. You hoped Charlie and Vaggie returned soon.

The man continued to converse with you on the sofa for the next hour, and slowly, you felt your anxiety begin to fade. He turned out to be quite the chatterbox, and his commentary was mostly light-hearted and humorous.

Occasionally, he would stand up to poke around the entryway, commenting on anything that wasn’t quite up to his standards. That left you to come to your hostess’ defense whenever you could. After all, the hotel wasn’t technically up and running yet seeing as you weren’t an actual guest and Angel had yet to move in.

After getting all the parental nosiness out of his system, he settled back down beside you and began asking you about your life on Earth. You had to tell him again what you did for work–he apparently wasn’t paying attention the first time–and what all went into it.

The conversation jumped from topic to topic but left little room for you to ask much about him. His interest in Earth and humanity’s accomplishments was overwhelming.

When Charlie and Vaggie finally returned, they were greeted by the sight of the two of you chatting away and sipping on tea, which had been manifested out of thin air. You were highly skeptical of it at first but had decided to drink so as not to spite the one person who could get you back to Earth. You were pleasantly surprised by its flavor and relieved that it didn’t appear to be poisoned or drugged.

“Hey, Dad…” Charlie drawled as she walked up to the couch. It was clear that she was surprised he had beaten them home. “I thought you were going to come, like, an hour from now.”

“I had some free time this morning, so I decided to swing by a little earlier,” he said after standing up to nudge his shoulder into her, “Can’t put a price tag on extra time with my darling daughter.”

“Right…” Charlie said with a strained smile, looking off to the side where her eyes landed on Vaggie. She perked up and pranced over to her side, grabbing her hand to introduce her.

Her dad was ecstatic over getting to meet her girlfriend. You thought he was overbearing when you met him, but that was dwarfed in comparison. He was even more touchy and fumbling over his words.

Vaggie did her best to be polite.

“Haha…so–uh, have you been given a tour of the hotel yet?” Charlie asked, glancing over at you.

“I poked around this area a bit–-didn’t want to intrude too much,” her father chuckled with his hands propped up on his apple staff.

“I thought it would be better to leave that to you,” you said as you stood up to join the group, teacup in hand, “I still struggle to find my way around.”

The night prior, Vaggie had caught you wandering aimlessly on the fourth floor after attempting to find your way to your room on your own. They offered to walk you there since they understood the halls could be a maze sometimes, but you had decided to be stubborn, insisting it was straightforward enough. Clearly, you had overestimated your skills.

That being said, it was a miracle you were able to make it to the foyer that morning.

Vaggie chuckled a bit as she recalled the memory.

Charlie smiled at you knowingly, as well, indicating that the story had been relayed to her. She looked back at her dad for only a moment before her eyes darted back to you, eyes widening as the smile dropped from her face.

“Oh–Oh my god!” she squawked as she rushed to your side. “You’re not–Why aren’t you…” she waved her hand in circles as she tried to find the word she was looking for before leaning in to whisper, “...you know.”

Your eyes narrowed as they rolled over to look at her father.

“I barely rolled myself out of bed when he came knocking,” you explained, “Believe me, I tried to avoid being seen, but…”

But you were hunted down like a mouse running from a fox. Even when you thought you were in the clear, it seemed like he knew exactly where you were and where you would go next.

That man was scary.

“But you can’t hide something like that forever~” he sang, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you against him. “However, I never imagined it would be this darling little human.”

He jostled you slightly as he spoke, and you could feel your face warming up from both his actions and his words. However, he had no right to be calling anybody else ‘little’ considering his stature.

“We really need to get her a new phone,” Charlie said to Vaggie, “If she could have called or texted us, we might’ve been able to intervene.”

Charlie’s father scoffed.

“What kind of sinner do you take me for? I’m not an animal, you know––” he began to argue but paused to turn his attention on you, retracting his arm. “You threatened to call her earlier, but you don’t even have a phone?”

Your lips twitched into a guilty smile, and you took a step closer to Charlie.

“You’re a filthy little liar!” He jabbed a finger in your direction.

“You were breaking and entering!” you pitched back.

“I am her–”

“Okay!” Charlie tucked you behind her and put a hand up in front of her dad. “How about that tour then?”

She put one hand on your back and the other on her father’s as she began to lead the group of you through the hotel. You were secretly glad you were getting another chance to look around and get a grasp of the layout.

When you dared to glance over at her dad, he was already eying you bitterly, and the only thing you could think to do was shoot him a sheepish smile in return.

The childish part of you wanted to stick your tongue out and blow a raspberry, but you knew better. He made it clear he had some level of magical abilities, and to what extent, you weren’t sure. That last thing you wanted to do was learn the hard way. Besides, you needed to be on his good side so he’d help you get home.

As the tour progressed, he thankfully dropped his spiteful demeanor towards you in favor of soaking in as much of Charlie’s attention as he could get. You could tell that he was just happy to be near her.

It was sweet.

There were a few times where he exchanged some words with you lightheartedly. It reassured you that you hadn’t managed to say or do anything to genuinely piss him off. Rather, it seemed he was just the dramatic type.

You made it back to the foyer, and when Charlie was finished explaining her ideas for redeeming sinners, she waited eagerly for her father’s thoughts. She was disappointed that he had more opinions on the hotel’s appearance than its purpose, but she didn’t push the subject.

She would have a better chance pitching the idea to him once she had a few successful patrons to use as evidence that sinners could, in fact, be redeemed.

“I can certainly help you spruce the place up a bit,” he said as he waved his stick around the room, “After filling this place up with furniture and maybe adding a bit more light…I’m sure it will look wonderful, honey.”

He sent her a prideful grin, which she subtly rolled her eyes at.

“Thanks, dad… I really appreciate it,” she said as she pulled him into a hug. His face lit up before he shut his eyes and melted into her embrace.

When they parted, he made a gesture at you.

“I was also telling your friend earlier that I’d be more than happy to get her home. I just need some time to warm up. Don’t want to accidentally drop her off in the middle of Antarctica,” he said whilst nudging her and chuckling at his own joke.

“Oh! Well, I don’t really think we need your help with that…” she said, looking away.

You sent her a baffled look.

“We already found some people–today, actually–that can get her home,” she stated with a firm nod of her head. “So no need to worry about that! Sending over furniture is more than enough, which, again, I really appreciate!”

“Nonsense, this is what good fathers do! Besides, I highly doubt they could be more efficient than me,” he huffed before turning to grin at you. “I promise to have you home in no time.

♡ ♡ ♡

Tag List: @spookysisters @for-hearthand-home @crescent-z @mixplara @juskonutoh @tinywolfiegirl @lafy-taffy @glowinthedarkbones1150 @froggybich @darling-angel222 @preciousbabypeter @itzabbeym @mrspepper1885

#lucifer magne #lucifer magne x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer morningstar #demon summoning #occult #charlie magne #charlie morningstar #x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer is trying to be a good father

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azenpal · 3 months

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The answer to my maybe

– aaron hotchner x neighbor!female reader

summary | being in a new place is weird, but you make it harder for yourself by crushing on your neighbor

warnings | nothing really, just me trying to envision a pervert hotch, cliffhanger

word count | 2055

a/n | hi, i’m just going to drop this one here because i can’t find the inspiration for the smut part of this story<3

Living in a house alone isn’t as fun as the movies made you dream of. Although you enjoy your alone time and doing the things you promised yourself you’d do for years. Somehow, there was still that nudging feeling that something wasn’t in its right place, telling you there’s a factor missing in your life now. The cycle of waking up, going to your job, doing an activity, and picking up a hobby felt mundane when you end the night staring at your ceiling. And it turns out, there were only a few DIY projects in your home you could do until you feel fed up with it. So here you were, laying on your sofa on a Saturday, staring at your window, hoping inspiration hits you to do anything.

But if you could be honest, the only reason the view looked good was that there’s a chance you’ll see a glimpse of your neighbor– Aaron Hotchner, no— Agent Aaron Hotchner. The neighbor who introduced himself as you were moving the boxes in your home. The guy that told you places to see and restaurants to try as soon as the second time you met him. The father of Jack Hotchner, an adorable bundle of joy dressed as a cute little boy. The man your friends refer to as the hot neighbor when you confess to them how you feel “hot” every time you see him, among the many other confessions you would do and are willing to do for that man.

But over the weeks, you grew to have a soft spot for the Hotchners each time you saw them playing outside or walking back to their homes with their ice cream. So, of course, bringing them snacks and buying Jack toys that remind you of him became a habit of yours and is certainly not just an excuse to see his dad, although that is a bonus. Yet every time you see Mr. Hotchner, you start to feel that your liking of him is growing too strong. It became so bad that you actually tried not to initiate any conversation with the Hotchner, but Jack is just too damn cute to ignore, and your resolution easily crumbled after two days. Failing to control your feelings and thoughts for Aaron, your mundane days were over but filled with nights imagining how it would feel to be in his arms.

So, aside from your normal routine, nothing has changed, and you still have a lot of free time. But instead of finding a new hobby or trying to be productive, most of your days are now spent thinking about what you could do to stop your never-ending fantasies with Aaron. Maybe you just have to get out and spend money. Or maybe a shopping haul? Or maybe your period is just nearing, and you’re just horny at a different kind of level. Or maybe you just really need to get laid. Or maybe you need some romance in your life?

Or maybe, just maybe, you were starting to want the feeling of a thrill? The idea of being careless, having the ability to just do without thinking of the consequences of your actions, or simply, your coworkers�� idea of having fun every time they have a drink. But a one-night stand is just a no-no; you know that you don’t trust people that way and the paranoia that you’ll get murdered if you’re alone with a stranger is just too strong for you to sleep with a stranger.

But now that you’re thinking about it and you’re hearing your thoughts, maybe you’re just being dramatic about your life.

Then again, your friends have told you to go out more and “explore.” Meet new people and enjoy the different possibilities life has to offer aside from your usual safe and plain routine. So, heeding your friend’s advice, who may either start an adventure or a murder, the temporary answer to your maybes is meeting their friend, whom they all talk kindly of. The truth is, you will never do this on your own. The reason being a mix of anxiety, fear, insecurity, and your strong imagination of how your date would and could dump you on the spot in a hundred ways made you stop your finger every time you want to try a dating application. But knowing that the people you trust know the guy eases your negative emotions. However, while you’re thankful to them for being supportive, a part of you still regrets using the words “bored to death” and “looking for a thrill” when you opened up to them; after all, a delusional part of you wants to be on a date with your neighbor.

And after weeks of talking with Jake and a side of asking your friends about what to do and if what you’re doing is correct, you actually had the courage to meet him. But behold, now that the meeting place is set and the time is also scheduled, you did not think of the possibility that you will rack your brains configuring countless combinations of your clothes. You want to appear like you put in the effort to look presentable but not overwhelming because maybe he could be someone special and think that your clothes were too much. But all you know is whether he likes you or rejects you, you want to look and feel good tonight and not think of Aaron Hothcner.

With your bed filled with pants, shirts, skirts, your favorite underwear, and the dress you felt confident in, you step back, trying to think which combination will make you feel good tonight. There’s only a small chance that this date will solve your problems, but you want to try your best; after all, it’s better not to have regrets. So, holding onto your two favorite underwear while still in your towel, you try to imagine which would be better to boost yourself up.

But then again, the point of this date was for you to feel something new, so maybe wearing the usual wouldn’t be the right way to start- and also in hopes of getting some, as your friends have said. So, looking at the further edge of the bed, you grabbed the caramel nude and periwinkle underwear you have and contemplated between the two. Periwinkle would look good on you, but maybe it’s too much for a first date? Not that you want to impress him with your underwear. But caramel nude feels the safest right now, not too far off your comfort zone, but still different.

Choosing the caramel nude underwear made you feel as if you’ve taken a big step in getting ready, even if you haven’t chosen what to wear. Although realistically thinking, it would take you hours to decide what to wear, so opting to do your usual make-up, you sent a picture of all the clothes in your bed to your friends for their choice.

While waiting for your friend’s reply and starting on your make-up, you glimpse the dress you’ve only worn once for a specific purpose-- to deliver cookies to Aaron Hocthner’s door. Stupid? Yes. But do you regret buying it? No. You couldn’t say you regretted buying that dress because he complimented you for wearing it. And it’s not just that he said you looked pretty in it, but the fact that he noticed it was the first time you wore it made you feel hot. You could just combust on the spot. But of course, you didn’t admit it was new when he asked if it was, making a lie that you didn’t realize you still have that dress.

That day also made you think that, just maybe, you had a chance with him. See, you remember what he wore the first day you saw him. He was wearing a Rangoon green polo; well, it was a well-fitted polo. You’re still unsure about the color, given that you just obsessed about it and searched for hours in the hues and shades of green that day. He also had sunglasses on, but you didn’t get a good look at them because the moment he saw you walking on your pavement, he quickly got rid of it and approached you while smiling.

And as you see yourself smiling like a fool while remembering that day, you realize maybe that day sealed your fate already. But the buzzing of your phone cut your thoughts as your friends all voted for you to wear a dress. Making you remember the goal of tonight’s plan, stop thinking about Aaron Hotchner.

Your date is a hot man. If you were in the mood for sex, you might jump his bones to end your dry spell. This is not a denial of the fact that you were in the mood for sex because, technically, you are, just not with the man in front of you. And maybe one more reply of saying what and I’m sorry I didn’t hear that, and your hot date would also know that your mind is floating to someone. Floating to someone serious-looking, big, hot, FBI, and most definitely your neighbor.

At this point, you have given up trying not to think about Aaron. Maybe when the date ends, you could say sorry to your friends and then thank them for doing this for you. You could also ask them to help you make a move on Aaron because, apparently, he’s in your head no matter what distraction you put yourself with. When you entered the place, you tried to imagine what restaurant Aaron would choose. Does he prefer a casual dinner? Would you be riding in his car while talking about your day to each other? Does he like the food you love? Would he wear a suit? Does he talk about his friends or work when on a date? Would he tell Jack about your date? Does he end a date by dropping you home and kissing you goodnight? Or maybe he would invite himself in and stay with you for the night?

As the minute passes, you answer all your questions by imagining different scenarios of how your date would go. So, with a smile, kiss on the cheek, and goodbye, you entered your home to do the same repetitive way you end your night. But as you take your clothes off, you realize that somehow, what was first to be an evening you looked forward to turned out to be a night you just wanted to end. Wearing only your underwear, you flopped your body in your bed and exhaled loudly. You could not stop thinking of him at all. And no denial method of yours could get you to stop imagining a date with him. So maybe it would be better to just be honest with your feelings? Maybe you could ask your friends for advice.

Picking up the phone, ready to tell them everything, you got a message from the man you were trying to avoid by all means.

Aaron Hotchner.

Prepare? What does he mean by that? Does he-

About to reply to Aaron that he sent you the wrong message, you look to your right and realize that the window is wide open. The window where you first saw how hot your neighbor is is freaking open. Rushing to close it, you checked if he was still there. How long has he seen you walking around in your room in a towel?

Did he see you twirling and posing earlier while holding your underwear?

Did he see everything?

Mouth opening and mind flooding with questions, you realize what the hell just happened.

The hot neighbor you’ve been crushing on has seen you posing in front of the mirror while holding your underwear and checking yourself out.

He saw you.

In your underwear.

And if this isn’t the most embarrassing night of your life, maybe finding a new place is the right answer to all your maybe’s.

Endnote | now that i have dropped this, i will now contemplate how the hell i’m going to continue this but anywhore tysm for reading this!

Masterlist link

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fanfiction

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genericpuff · 6 months

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The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 1/2

Here we go, Part 3 of my analysis of the current FP episodes - a three-parter episode set leading up to the midseason finale of LO.

Part 1

Part 2

Truth is, I had actually forgotten a lot of the weird (and very stupid) shit that happened in this episode, that I thought Episodes 251 and 252 had already offered up the worst that this three parter set could dish out. Boy, was I wrong, because when I went back to check out Episode 253, I was reminded of a reality that my brain had wiped out in an attempt to protect my withering psyche-

I also forgot just how long this episode is. It's so long that I frankly can't even fit it all into this post, so this is gonna be part 3 1/2.

Anyways, let's just get on with it. This is the final stop on our trip into absolute nonsense.

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 3 OF A 3 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

Well, it's the midseason finale, and what better way to open it up than with the final title card-

Typo and all. It wouldn't be an LO episode without one. Granted, IIRC this typo has been edited out, but the version of the screenshots I have from it feature it in all its original unedited glory. So enjoy that.

And yes, just like the last two times, the title itself only applies to the final cliffhanger, which is an absolute doozy especially for those who were there to experience it in real time.

This is already a bit of a wild opening compared to the last two episodes, but it's quickly revealed that this is laying the foundation for the prophecy that Psyche gave to Apollo back in Episode 252. In true LO fashion, the story can't actually be linear in any regard, we're always segmented from pieces of information at a time. Loyal fans will call this a "writing style", I call it Rachel just trying to get another 70 cents out of me.

That said, I will say the art here is fairly decent, but I think that just goes to show that LO's one of worst features these days - ironically enough - is its coloring. What began as its strongest feature has now become one of its biggest weaknesses due to the sheer laziness in its rendering and the colors become more and more saturated into the grotesque over time. So at this point, you pretty much have to rob these characters of their colors to make them look decent, and of course at that point it just further highlights Rachel's same-face problems. She definitely tried to make them look distinguishable here, at least, with Hestia and Poseidon being the most unique.

Now, this isn't the first time that we've heard of this herb being referenced - it was stated by Hades that Hera was the one to originally poison Kronos with the herb after gaining his trust - but to see it suddenly just pop up and play a role again out of nowhere already gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. It feels like yet another plot device - especially when presented in this type of format - that Rachel is suddenly using to try and seem "unique" in her writing, much like the strange narration we got back during the "Run For Your Life" sequence. It's just once again LO lacking any specific identity, it's always trying to be a million other things at once.

I will say, much of this in and of itself is panel filler. Why? Because the location of the herb doesn't matter. You'll see what I mean in a moment, but the mentioning of Anthedon plays no role here, it's just yet another obligatory "see, I know how to Google things!" lip service moment from Rachel "self-proclaimed folklorist" Smythe.

Anyways, Eros is perplexed by this but Psyche immediately catches on, knowing right away that Apollo is going for Zeus. And this is where we get yet another one of the dumbest sequences in this comic.

(see what I mean that the location of the herb doesn't matter? Because Apollo already got it and laced it into the cupcake).

Now, first of all, the fact that Eros and Psyche believe Kassandra's prophecy is already hilarious in and of itself, because ... well, because it literally defeats the point of her establishing it as a curse in the previous episode. Unless it only works on mortals? It never stated as such, so we literally just have to go with it and pretend not to notice that.

But most of all, of course LO had to play this off as some joke. Like, "hahaha how awkward! I've already eaten the cupcake!" and he still doesn't seem to really be in shock. Zeus has seen what this herb has done to gods before him, and yet his reaction to this is akin to a dad getting upset that he stepped LEGO's that he asked his kid 20 times to pick up off the floor. The whole "record scratch" style formatting of this followed by Zeus' lack of reaction just really makes me not care about any of this, because clearly the story doesn't care either.

But we don't see who he makes these calls to because the comic, of course, can't spend any longer than 10 panels on a single scene, so we cut to Hades and Persephone.

Again, I don't know what the point was of having Hera relay this information to Persephone for her to relay to Hades, aside from the fact that Rachel needed to act smart with Therapy Speak that didn't even apply to Hera's situation (as we talked about in the last part). They gotta make Persephone the center of everyone's world though, so it's Persephone who's delivering this info and trying to come up with the solution.

Hades, though, wants to focus on his wife's birthday the commemoration of spring.

SIR. THE WOMAN YOU WERE IN AN AFFAIR WITH SINCE BEFORE YOUR WIFE WAS BORN IS CURRENTLY GRAPPLING WITH YOUR FATHER WHO ABUSED HER AND IS NOW HAUNTING HER. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR FLUFFY ROMANCE TIME. THERE IS A CHILD BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN TARTARUS AND LITERALLY NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

Anyways, apparently (for some reason) Hades is the one who has to go meet Demeter out front. Even though Hades has literally NOTHING to do with this ceremony, it's not his domain, but Persephone literally says "yep, that's correct" when he asks if he needs to go out to meet Demeter.

This just feels like such a pointless conversation and I don't get what the point of this exact exchange is. Again, this isn't Hades' domain, so I don't see why he needs to be the one to go meet with Demeter.

But then, of course, to make matters worse, this man has the absolute audacity to pretend like he's never done anything wrong to Demeter. As if she should be obligated to be cool with sharing a bench with this man who literally terrorized her for years and then essentially groomed her daughter.

I hate him so fucking much and I can't believe we're supposed to be rooting for him. He has not undergone ANY of the character development necessary for me to want to care about him.

Anyways, Hades has a seat with Demeter, and the conversation is very brief before Hades says that he has a gift for her. And what is it, exactly?

Oh great, Hades. Sure wish you would have had this consideration hundreds of years ago. I fail to see what good this does for her now because it doesn't change the fact that he still cost her the role of Queen of the Mortal Realm and treated her like shit for hundreds of years. This comes across as such a shallow and empty "apology" because it's barely even a "gift", rather something she was OWED back then that he didn't want to hand over for his own selfish reasons. He still comes out the winner here because he's gotten to spend thousands of years being a rich slave-driving oligarch while Demeter has had to maintain the Mortal Realm on her own even without the glory of having a title.

I especially detest this "twist" because it's less of a twist and Rachel finally accepting the fact she couldn't come up with anything better than what her fans had to come up with for her. If this had been the fact the whole time, we would have seen it established back when we first got those flashbacks showing Hades being a total prick to her over the volcanoes. Instead, Rachel dragged it out for weeks and weeks until finally dumping this "twist" that her fans had been talking about all that time. This is yet another one of those "Rachel used her fanbase to come up with her ideas" moments. I know that that seems a little mean and presumptuous, but the fact of the matter is that the writing in this story is such an absolute mess that you just know Rachel's writing by the seat of her pants and has to rely on her audience's headcanons to actually fill in the gaps of her story. Most of the time when people commend her for the "great storytelling" in LO, what they're referring to are things they came up with entirely on their own because of how easy it is to just make assumptions about LO's storyline. Rachel benefits off the story being as vague as possible because then her fanbase will fill in the gaps with their own assumptions and give her all the credit for an idea they came up with.

By the way, to the "self-proclaimed folklorist" who wrote this, the volcanoes were really just entrances into the Underworld. Hades did not own them. They were owned by Hephaestus. And I would argue that the volcanoes were only seen as "entrances" into the Underworld because, fun fact - if you jump into a volcano, you die!

Hades frames his reasoning as feeling like Demeter was pushing him out of the Mortal Realm, but this makes no sense because none of that is on her. He claims that he felt like an "outsider" but the reality is that he made himself that way. He resigned himself to being King of the Underworld, he ate the pomegranate and made the deal with Erebus, and even he stated that he could still actually leave the Underworld, just not for long periods of time. So he was the only one keeping himself away from the Mortal Realm, not Demeter. We even see that in the VHS tape flashbacks where Hades stumbles onto Demeter's property and she lets him sleep it off in her home. So this whole sob story about how he felt "pushed out" by Demeter is such a bad take from someone who's routinely known to make himself out to be the victim. Because Hades can't have an actual reputation for a reason, no, this is a "retelling" told by someone who got all their Greek myth info off Tumblr circa 2016 and the front page of Google, so Hades has to be the misunderstood uwu sad underdog. Even though he routinely does things that reinforce the reputation he has within the comic, like being a slave driver, abusing lower class nymphs, and grooming teenagers.

Minthe showing up for a split second in the background is the best this comic has been since S2. We stan our girl Minthe, fucking run girl, do what Persephone couldn't do. She's the real hero of this story (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

And honestly, I'm sorry, but Demeter really SHOULDN'T be taking the high ground on this. She has more than enough reason to be upset. For a comic that tries to celebrate feminism and holding abusive men accountable, it sure is willing to make the women - often victims of the men - the real villains who have to "do better". Except for Persephone of course. Persephone is married into the system now, she doesn't have to "do better", she's a "boss babe" for being abusive and petty and undeserving of her status because she's the self-insert Y/N character.

So the ceremony for commencing Spring begins. I gotta say, for the final major scene of the mi(n)season finale, the art is severely underwhelming. You can really tell the difference between S3 and S1 art here, there's barely anything extra done to make this scene even half as impactful as the most basic of scenes from S1.

Like, it's fine, but it still feels so half-baked and rushed to attempt to replicate the kind of art that's been gone from the series for years now. The full sequence itself is actually quite lengthy, with a lot of nymph hands just moving around and playing instruments, but it's about as bland as any other panel, so it makes the sequence itself feel dragged out and boring.

This is about as pretty as the sequence gets and it's still not even as good as the original Dread Queen transformation. There's barely any rendering in the skin, and they couldn't even be bothered to make the hands look normal. It's like it's trying so hard to be "original LO" but is fundamentally missing the point of what made the original LO so captivating.

But oh noooo, looks like Persephone did a bad!

Are they actually gonna give her some kind of flaw? Are we gonna FINALLY gonna find out what she traded to Erebus?

No. We're just gonna make her the cause of winter.

Spaghettios.

And that's where I'm leaving this review for now because, as mentioned in the beginning, this episode is a LOT longer than I remember it being. There's still a whole ass segment with Apollo that we need to cover and I don't want to leave it out but I also don't want to do it entirely in text format and I've hit that pesky image limit. So I'll be posting that second part as soon as I can!

That said, I really can't stand this "subversion" by making Persephone the reason for winter.

First of all, because this is a common problem in a lot of H x P "retellings", as many of them fundamentally miss the point of why Persephone is the "Goddess of Spring".

Persephone was not born the "Goddess of Spring". She was born Kore (Κόρη), a maiden born from Demeter. It wasn't until after she was taken by Hades that Demeter, in her grief, took away the harvest and created winter. It was the return of Persephone every six months that brought about the spring, hence, she earned the name, "Goddess of Spring". What these retellings COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTAND is that the gods aren't 'born' with their titles, they're granted these titles by the mortals who comprehend them and write of them as harbingers of their respective elements, stories, and messages. Zeus wasn't "born" the God of the Sky and Heavens, he was granted that title after he overthrew Kronos and took the Heavens for himself. Hades wasn't "born" the God of the Underworld and the Dead, he was granted that title after he became the ruler of the domain of death.

Where these retellings really fuck up is constantly trying to "subvert" the H x P myth in an attempt to romanticize it, thus undoing the point of why Persephone is called "The Goddess of Spring". A Touch of Darkness also made this mistake by putting a "twist" on Persephone's character by having her start out as someone who couldn't make things grow. But if she sucks at making things grow, then why is she still referred to as The Goddess of Spring? In LO, Hades is referred to as "Grandpa Winter" and the seasons already seem to exist as we saw in this episode through the ceremony, so why has she been called "The Goddess of Spring" this whole time?

But I also can't stand this "subversion" because it fundamentally misunderstands the very myth it's trying to "retell". By giving Persephone the "curse" of creating winter, it further robs Demeter of her own agency in this story, more than it already has. It wasn't enough to make Demeter a helicopter mom, it wasn't enough to drive an actual rift between her and her daughter, they had to take away Demeter's entire role in the story and the creation of the seasons and give it to Persephone.

And this is, surprisingly enough, NOT the first time the comic has done this. There are many traits associated with different gods that have been given to Persephone and Hades. The volcanoes belong to Hades rather than Hephaestus, Persephone is "more beautiful than Aphrodite", Thanatos' and Psyche's butterfly symbolism is given to both Hades and Persephone, Aphrodite's symbolism of roses is given to Persephone, the list goes on. Every single plotline has to involve Persephone as the hero, and every single attribute that's commonly associated with other gods has to be granted to H x P in some way to make them better and more interesting than every other cast member in the comic, and yet they still come across as vapid and boring protagonists with nothing to show for themselves.

So to give the ONE thing from the source material that made LO what it is, it comes across as so unbearably cruel.

But then again, we should have seen this coming. After all, Rachel does not cite this as a retelling of The Hymn to Demeter. She simply refers to it as its more unofficial name: The Taking of Persephone.

Look, I get it, the story is meant to be told from Persephone's POV (or at least through the lens of her being the main character) so I can understand why Rachel may have chosen to reword this to make it more clear. But it's really depressing that she went to such an extent with making it about Persephone that she had to rob one of the most integral character of her moment and retribution. Especially when one of the only books in her cited "research" that's primarily about Persephone is, shocked, The Hymn to Demeter, which is listed at the very bottom of every "research" list you can find in LO's history.

LO should have just stayed as self-indulgent fluff. This isn't "subversion", this isn't a "twist", it's just yet another item on the list of making Persephone the most Important One of all. Even when it attempts to be a 'flaw', it fails tremendously by acting as yet another aspect of her being a Mary Sue, because her 'flaw' has come at the cost of another character's story, identity, and strengths. What was originally a tale of grief, retribution, and standing up against a patriarchal system, has now been warped into a consequence of a muddied plot that doesn't have anywhere left to go. For a story that claims to be "feminist", it has ironically missed the original point of its source material entirely, and completely robbed itself of the feminine strength it could have had if it hadn't tried to be "subversive".

I don't really have anything much more to say than that. I could leave it here for good, but we do still have that extra segment to talk about that covers the actual final cliffhanger in this episode, so... we'll see you on the other side.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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x-bluefire-heart-x · 6 months

Text

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Okie dokie my lovely readers! Here is chapter Five of Dating App now it does end a little on a non suspenseful cliffhanger and I promise that the next chapter will be worth the wait!

So there is also about a three week timeskip at the start and about three days around the half way point of this chapter.

Warnings: Masturbation. Dirty minds. Semi public (in office behind a closed door).

Master List

Prompt List

One , Two , Three , Four , Six

It had been almost three weeks since you had been able to see Rafael, the two of you had messaged back and forth every day. You had learned a lot about the man, such as the fact that he needed at least three coffees a day more often than not that was the minimum requirement, one of them had to be as soon as he wakes up otherwise he is a little grumpy, and he can be a little petulant when you mention how adorable you thought he was as he complained to you about the coffee at the court house. He even sent you a photo of himself pouting, you saved that straight away.

Rafael always messages in full sentences, with near perfect grammar and punctuation. However, you learnt that when he was beyond tired after a day of court and then spending hours preparing for cross the next day he could become adorably nonsensical with some of his messages, the perfect grammar and punctuation slowly leaving as each hour passed. The petulance would come back in full force if you gently told him that he had to go to sleep, you worked out two ways to get him to sleep, one that if you promised to give him lots of kisses when you next saw him he would go to sleep. Or you hoped he did, he stopped responding to your messages at least. The other was video calling him, and you preferred this option as it allowed you to see that he did actually go to bed and sleep, as you wouldn’t hung up until he was asleep. You were also shown the petulance in its full glory as he tried to negotiate with you, thankfully you weren’t bound by law or court etiquette so you used all the weapons at your disposal to get him to relent. Including promises of more than kisses and perhaps a continuation of what happened in his office. That would sometimes backfire, as Rafael’s eyes would darken and his voice would become a husky grumble, still tinged with sleep as he asked for evidence of these promises. In the end it still resulted in him falling asleep but it was harder to get him to agree.

You also learned how to tell when he had been having a good day in court and when he’d had a bad day. You made sure to do whatever you could to do make his day better when court had been tough, by sending him updates of everything going on in the library, sending him photos of your different outfits and makeup for the day, as inspired by different gods and goddesses. Even though you hadn’t been unable to meet up with him it hadn’t changed how you felt at all, in fact you think it only helped your feelings grow. Although the two of you couldn’t do exactly what you guys promised on your second date, Rafael insisted that you still read the amber quartet series to him over the phone. He claimed being able to listen to your voice helped to relax him after a tough day, hearing that you were all too happy to read him a couple chapters a night.

Rafael showed that he could be romantic even without seeing you, he had sent flowers and even chocolates to the library twice since your lunch, both thanking you and apologising for not being to be meet up with you. Not wanting him to be the only one being romantic, you sent him some flowers back, with a hidden meaning. You sent him a bouquet with peonies, matthiola incana, red chrysanthemum, and carnations, trying to portray that you could see yourself falling deeply for him. Something that was already happening. The response you had gotten from that had been endearing as hell, Rafael called you right away after he got them, he stumbled over his words and he sounded flustered, you really wanted to see if his cheeks were red, because that would have been the most adorable sight.

That had been three days ago, the messages had been fewer but Rafael had told you that the court case had just gotten difficult and so he might not be able to message you. You stared at your phone and the message sitting in-front of you.

‘So, I know that your case is difficult at the moment, but when it is over I was wondering if you would like to come over to mine for dinner? And maybe, if you wanted to of course, you could stay the night.’

You hadn’t sent it yet the nerves in your stomach stopping you. Of course you knew that he wouldn’t have an issue with it, in the past few weeks there had been plenty of indications that the both of you wanted to be more intimate with each other. But there was still that small part of you that was worried he would say no, that was nervous about taking that step with him.

“Come on, pull on your big girl pants and send it,” you groused to yourself. You took a mouthful of your wine, swallowing it while closing your eyes and hitting send. “Okay, so I did that. It’s fine, it’s so totally fine.”

You drained the rest of your wine as you grabbed the bottle to pour yourself another glass, to wait for Rafael’s response. It was late but you weren’t working tomorrow so you figured you could get away with a rare late night wine session. You bit your lip as you looked through some of the photos Rafael had sent throughout the weeks. A lot of them were similar to the first one he ever sent, dishevelled appearance with more and more of his shirt buttons undone. You paused on a few of the ones he sent when the two of you had been messaging late at night when he was grumpy. He had angled the phone to capture his strong thighs clad in his suit pants, with the zipper undone and his cock tenting his boxers. You felt a curl of pleasure in your lower stomach as you stretched out on the couch, your bare legs bent and spread. You flicked through some more photos of the same vein, one with his hand cupping his cock through his pants, another showing his entire body as Rafael bit his lip and grabbed himself.

Images of what could happen the night he stayed over played through your mind as you remembered how his cock felt as you sat on his lap kissing him, his hands grabbing your ass. Your mind played out what could have happened if you hadn’t been interrupted, you imagined Rafael manhandling you until you were laid out on the couch, as he buried his head between your thighs, drawing moans and whimpers from you. You imagined him hovering over you as he slowly pushed himself inside of you. As these images played through your mind, you trailed your hand down your stomach, slipping under your panties and swirled your fingers around your clit.

Rafael could feel another headache starting just behind his eyes. This case was almost over, maybe another two days and it would be closing arguments, the defence was just throwing character witness’ at the jury, one of which had opened up a can of worms but the detectives had dug a little and hopefully found something he could use tomorrow when he cross-examined this witness. He had always had an issue when defence would have an insane number of character witnesses, but he especially felt it with this case. It had been almost three weeks, three long weeks since he had been able to see you, see his Chica. The messages and video calls had been amazing, you showed a clear concern for his health, bartering with him to get him to sleep, it was adorable to see you negotiate with him. You of course had an advantage, he was finding it very difficult to say no to you. He didn’t want to disappoint you, and it was slowly becoming clear that all you had to do was flutter your lashes, pout a little at him and use a tone that was a mixture of coy, shy and seductive.

He was pleasantly surprised when you had sent him flowers, along with a cute little note stating that you thought men should get flowers and that you were giving him a little test to work out the little message the flowers had. He had brought up a flower language website so fast, the flowers were all about adoration, romance, bashfulness, happiness, passion, fascination and new love. Rafael didn’t think he had ever felt so flustered when he read the meanings of the flowers, nor had he ever stumbled so much over his words when he rang you. Nor had he ever felt so adored by someone before. He had worried that you would lose interest in him, finally see that a relationship with him meant going potentially weeks without being able to see him, that it would involve making plans for dates but having to cancel them and not even being able to have you come to his office. But you hadn’t shown any sign of that, you always sent him a good morning and good night message along with ones spattered throughout the day, trying what you could to help him relax.

Rafael sighed, a groan of frustration leaving his lips as he slumped into the couch at his office. He knew he should probably go home but he needed to be focused for the cross tomorrow, plus he had to go over the evidence of other cases and start on warrants for the detectives. Liv and the others had done what they could but even they couldn’t prevent how much work could pile up on his desk. His phone vibrated on the desk drawing his eyes from the papers in-front of him. God he hoped this wasn’t a message telling him one of his cases was about to blow up. Again. But all the exhaustion and frustration of the day disappeared when he saw your contact name.

Rafael stared at the words on the screen. He swallowed as heat coursed through his body, you wanted him to stay the night. He thought that you might be interested in moving things forward from the conversations you had had, including some of the incentives you had given him to get some sleep. And you weren’t necessarily shy, although you could ask for what you wanted he found that you would get a little bashful about asking. He wondered how long it took for you to send this message.

‘That sounds like a fantastic way to celebrate the end of this case. And there is nothing more I would like to do then spend the night. Hopefully, this case should be over in about three days but I will keep you updated, of course.’

He sent through his response, adding a heart emoji onto the end of the message. And with that Rafael couldn’t focus on his trial prep, all his mind could think of was spending the night with you. He tried not to let his mind get away, but after some of the video calls the two of you had shared he found it incredibly difficult. He knew what you would look like above him, but now he was imagining what you would look like underneath him, stretched out head thrown back in ecstasy and what noises he could drag from your lips. He felt himself harden, his cock straining against his pants as the images played through his mind. He felt his body heat as he palmed himself to relieve some of the tension, a soft groan slipping from his lips, he glanced briefly at the door trying to remember if he had locked it after closing it.

“Fuck it,” he muttered deciding that it was too late for anyone else to still be around. He quickly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants to pull his aching hard cock out.

He didn’t have any lube available so he closed his eyes and licked his hand, imagining that it was you licking his hand, sucking on his fingers. He wrapped a hand around his cock slowly stroking himself as he allowed his mind to go where it wished to. He saw you on your knees in-between his legs as you teasingly sucked on the head of his cock. Your gorgeous eyes staring up at him, a beautiful red flush on your cheeks. He bit down on his other hand in an attempt to quiet the noises coming out of his mouth. His phone was beside him on the couch ignored as he focused on his pleasure until it started to buzz consistently. He wanted to ignore it but he vaguely recalled having messaged you and he didn’t want to ignore you, even for his own pleasure.

You had just considered getting up to get one of your toys when your phone buzzed.

You grinned at Rafael’s response glad that he was excited at the prospect of spending the night. Your pleasure hadn’t ebbed away when you read his response, it instead grew as the possibilities you had played in your mind as you fingered yourself suddenly became a lot more possible. You dragged yourself up from your couch and travelled to your bedroom, glass of wine in one hand and your phone in the other. You quickly set up your room, lighting some candles and turning on the fairy lights you had strung up over the canopy of your four poster bed before you dug around in your drawer for your external vibrator. The wine had gone a little bit to your head, as you took a photo of your bed and your room all set up to send to Rafael. You sent another one with a towel and your toy sitting on top of it. And then other one after you had changed into a green set of lingerie that you thought would be perfect to wear for your first night with Rafael. You had purchased it as soon as you saw it, as you believed it would almost match his eyes.

‘I thought a little preview was in order. A little gift for you. My poor man is working so hard.’

“Fuck Chica,” Rafael groaned his hand speeding up as he stared at the photo of you in the most gorgeous set of lingerie he had ever seen.

A gorgeous green, with lace trimmings and a sheer, gauzy material that almost showed everything but it was designed to hide the parts of your body that he longed to see. His stomach tensed as his pleasure reached its peak as he imagined you laying under him in that lingerie set as he mouthed at your breasts and teased your clit through your panties. His cum covered his hand, some drops on his pants that had it been a different situation he probably would be frustrated but he didn’t care. He cleaned up the mess his cock had made before he took a photo of his face showing his flushed skin, lips red from his teeth having bitten them.

‘Chica, you are going to drive me insane.’ He attached the photo and sent his message off before he saved all the photos you sent. Your bedroom looked exactly how he thought it would, cozy and romantic. And he desperately wanted to see it in person. He would actually consider murdering the defence if they did anything to make this trial go any longer than three days. But he would kiss them if they stopped calling witnesses and allowed the trial to end earlier. He decided to call it a night, he wouldn’t be able to concentrate at all now.

You stared at the photo that Rafael had sent you and a part of you just knew that he had taken this photo after he had cum. His cheeks were flushed just so and his lips looked bitten and his eyes, god his eyes were burning and had a satisfied look in them that you desperately wanted to see as he hovered above you.

“Oh fuck,” you groaned as the heat inside you built, you held the vibrator against your clit, hips rolling in pleasure. You sat your phone done so you could tease your breasts altering between them as you pulled at your nipples. You imagined Rafael above you, thrusting inside you and biting at your neck, the imagine was all you needed as your pleasure reach its peak, your walls fluttered as your clit throbbed as your orgasm flooded through you.

You breathed deeply allowing the last thrums of pleasure to roll through you before you removed the vibrator. Humming you opened your phone again to the photo Rafael sent, bit your lip. You weren’t a religious person but you prayed that the case would be over in three days or less. The need you felt for Rafael was like nothing you had ever felt before, it grew and grew every single day.

“Girl you need to get laid,” Lily muttered after you had snapped at some teenagers making a mess.

“I’m trying to,” you snarked.

“Wait…you guys haven’t?” Lily walked beside you on the way to the break room.

“I haven’t seen Rafael in three weeks, this current case apparently become a shit show,” you shrugged. “He’s going to stay the night after the case is over.”

“And that is?”

“Hopefully tomorrow night,” you groaned. “Lily, that man is making me feel things I haven’t felt for someone before.”

Lily grinned wrapping an arm around your waist as she pulled you close.

“And what about Rafael? Any indication that he feels the same?”

“Yes, I think so at least,” you nodded, a soft smile pulling at your frown as a soft blush swept up your neck to your cheeks. “We’ve messaged a lot, including video chats and he is definitely interested. I had a bit too much wine the other night and may have sent a spicer photo then normal and he definitely enjoyed that.”

“Ooh girl, who are you?” she teased.

You shrugged grinning at Lily as you briefly wondered that yourself. You have never sent a photo like you did to Rafael, you had never felt comfortable enough for that. But Rafael made you feel comfortable and safe, you couldn’t explain why after only a short time you felt that way. But honestly you didn’t care. You liked how Rafael made you feel, and you didn’t want it to go away.

“I don’t know but I kinda like it,” you giggled.

“Well, let’s hope you get laid tomorrow cause you seeing you death glare teenagers dressed as Athena is a little terrifying,” Lily patted your head. “And we can’t go scaring people from our library.”

“Hm, let’s hope,” you hummed in agreement.

Rafael barely waited long enough for the Judge to leave, barely waited enough for the victim and their family to thank him before he rushed out to the courtroom and to his office. Ignoring the detectives, he briefly waved over his shoulder when Liv called his name.

“Can’t stop, dinner,” he rushed out. His pulse was thundering as he quickly packed his office, telling Carmen to not interrupt him under any circumstances for tonight and tomorrow. Maybe even the next day, he hadn’t quite decided that. He paused only long enough to send you a text message letting you know that he would be over to yours by 6 at the latest.

‘I can’t wait to see you Rafael, I’ve missed you.’

Rafael grinned at your reply as his uber arrived, he continuously tapped his leg in a little anxious pattern until he arrived at his apartment. He didn’t think he had ever rushed quite so much packing a bag as he did tonight. He debated having a shower and changing but after a quick look in the mirror he decided against it. He knew you thoroughly liked how he looked dishevelled in a suit and figured he could have a quick shower at your place, maybe with you. That would be incredibly enjoyable. He ordered another Uber to get to yours, stopping to pick up some flowers on the way.

In what felt like hours he arrived at your apartment. Taking a deep breathe he keyed your apartment number into the buzzer and waited for you to answer.

The sound of your intercom going off set your heart racing. You hesitated briefly before answering.

“Hello? Rafael?” you asked, there was no-one else it could be.

“Hey Chica,” Rafael’s voice soothed something inside of you. The nerves calming a little.

“I’ll buzz you up, I’m the fourth floor, left after you get out of the elevators and near the end,” you breathed hitting the unlock button.

“Thanks,” Rafael said before you heard the sound of the door opening.

You rushed to your room, checking yourself one last time in your mirror making sure there wasn’t anything out of place. Your hair fell loosely down your back, you decided to forego make up tonight, and chose a formfitting dress with just the peek of green lace showing at the top. In a short time a knock on the door had you wondering back to the entrance. Your eyes cast over the candles that you had lit throughout your apartment, the kitchen table set for two, a bottle of wine and a glass of scotch waiting. You also had your aroma diffuser going with the scent of cherry blossoms. You smoothed down the front of your dress, taking one last breathe before you opened the door. And that breathe rushed out of you the second your eyes saw him.

It looked like he had run here straight from court. A bag held in one hand and white rose held in his other. His green eyes simmered with a heat as he took you in, the simmer growing when he saw the green lace peeking out the top from your dress. He was man enough to admit that he struggled to pull his eyes away from your cleavage but he managed to if only because your eyes caught his.

“My eyes are up here, Sir,” you teased opening the door wider to allow him in. “Come on in.”

“Thank you Chica,” he grinned, as he passed you he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “You look ravishing tonight.” You smiled ducking your head a little as pink dusted your cheeks.

“So do you,” you tried for a similar tone in your voice that Rafael had but you didn’t quite succeed. Your voice was breathless, because Rafael did look…delicious. With his suit not quite perfect, the tie loose and buttons undone. His hair ruffled and messy.

You watched as Rafael took in your apartment, you kept it clean and tidy. You had bookshelves along the back wall of your open floor plan, the shelves had fairy lights and fake plants decorating them. More fake plants decorated your coffee table and other little nerdy items were scattered throughout your apartment. You felt comfortable and happy in your apartment and never second guessed any of your choices for decorations. Rafael did a small circle noting a glass of scotch waiting beside a plate on the table, you grinned as you noticed the slight hitch in his eyebrow and the soft look on his face as he took everything in.

“You have a lovely home,” Rafael walked towards you. “I picked these up for you.”

“They’re gorgeous Rafael, thank you,” you said reaching out to take them from him but you didn’t step away from him right away. You stepped closer, looking up at him through your lashes, before looking down at his lips and then back up to his eyes.

“Is there something you want carino?” He asked hands taking hold of your hips and tugging you softly.

“Hm, I thought it was you who wanted something,” you countered. “Last I checked it was you who petulantly begged for kisses.”

“Petulantly begged?” Rafael whispered lowering his head until his lips hovered over yours.

“Mhmm,” you nodded. “You going to deny it?”

“Do I get a kiss if I agree?” he asked.

“Well, I mean you did bring me gorgeous flowers,” you started, purposefully biting your bottom lip. “And I heard you won your case as well.”

“Oh, does winning get me a kiss then? Even if I deny that I begged?” Rafael grinned.

“We both know that you did beg but I will still give you a kiss for winning,” you nodded. “Plus I haven’t seen you in three weeks.”

“Which is just far too long, I’m sorry-”

“Ah no, there is no need for that Rafael,” you smiled cupping his cheek with your free hand. “I was fully aware that this could happen. You’re here now.”

He opened his mouth, probably to try and apologise again but you were not having it. You decided the best way to get him to stop and to distract him from even thinking about it was to kiss him. You pressed your lips against his, causing him to startle a little at the sudden contact, a huff of air escaping him as his lips curled up into a smile, before he started kissing you back. You pulled away before it could get too heated, as you had cooked a rather nice meal and as much as you wanted to finally get him naked you wanted to have a nice meal and talk with him first.

“You hungry?” you asked pulling away, Rafael followed your lips for a second before he opened his eyes a soft whine leaving him.

“Starving,” his green eyes no longer just simmered with heat, they burned.

“Later,” you promised, a similar heat burning through you, and your eyes telling Rafael that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. “I made Casareccica Alibrandi, and I got you some scotch. I hope it’s one you like. Also please make yourself at home, you can put your jacket on the coat rack just over there.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rafael watched as you pulled out a vase to put his flowers in before sitting them on your coffee table, his eyes were glued to you as you walked back past him into the kitchen. It was only when the rest of your sentence entered his brain that he looked over to the a little nook in the wall just after the entrance into the apartment. He quickly took off his suit jacket and tie hanging them up and leaving him in his shirt and suspenders. He undid a few more buttons and rolled up his sleeves.

“I know, I wanted to though,” you smiled over your shoulder at him as you pulled the pasta dish out of the oven where you had placed it to keep to warm without overcooking anything, feeling your throat constrict a little when you saw him rolling his sleeves, exposing those forearms of his that you had dreamed about. You forced your eyes away and tried to remember the rest what you had wanted to say. “You’ve had a tough three weeks and I wanted tonight to be as relaxing as possible for you.”

“Carino, you are something else,” Rafael whispered as you served up the dish gesturing for him to take a seat. The first thing he did was try the scotch, he wanted to assure you that the scotch was good. And it was, it was really good. “This scotch is really good.”

“I’m glad, I hope the food is good,” you smiled shyly placing a bowl down in-front of him.

“It smells delicious and looks it too,” Rafael caught your hand before you could move to your chair. He brought it up to his mouth to place a kiss on your knuckles. “Thank you Carino, this night is exactly what I need. You are what I need.”

“Rafi,” you whispered squeezing his hand, leaning to place a kiss on his cheek before slowly dragging your hand from his and taking you seat. You stretched your legs out entangling them with his, not wanting to stop touching him.

Rafael smiled at you, taking a bite of the food and could barely stop the groan of appreciation that left his mouth the minute the tastes hit his tongue. It was amazing. Your eyes were stuck on his mouth, as he took another bite, tongue darting out to catch a drop of the sauce. Another hum leaving him. Your body heated as you noticed that his tongue would poke out a little as he took a bite of food.

“Chica, this is amazing,” Rafael focused back on you to see that you hadn’t taken a mouthful yet. “Chica?”

“Hm, what?” you shook your head trying to clear away the images that had taken up residence there. “Oh, um, good, that’s good, I’m glad.” You quickly took a mouthful trying to pretend you hadn’t been staring at him this entire time.

“A bit distracted?” Rafael teased he slipped off one of his shoes and lightly ran his foot up your leg that was entangled with his. You gulped down some wine at his action, surprised at it. “Because I have been distracted by you since you opened your door. Seeing that lacy bra peeking above that gorgeous dress that hugs your curves. Those curves that I have been wanting to kiss and run my tongue all over, tasting you.”

“Rafael,” you gasped, a shiver running through you, your heart picking up at his words.

“My desire for you has grown Carino,” Rafael stood up from his chair, placing one hand on the back of your chair and the other on the table beside your bowl. “Carino, look at me.”

Your eyes trailed up his arm, his throat until you finally looked him in his eyes. The green in them was darker then normal, you were taken back to the day in his office when the two of you made out on his couch like teenagers. You wetted your lips, subconsciously pushing your chest out a little, you felt a little surge of pride and victory when you noticed Rafael’s eyes darting down to stare at your chest before he looked back to your eyes. That small little victory you felt however, withered under the look on Rafael’s face. The hand that had been on the table moved to trail up your stomach and over your chest and up your neck before he gently cupped your face. His touch was the complete opposite of the hungry look on his face, a look that was almost feral. A look that finally made all those descriptions in your fantasy books seen possible. The plan for a nice slow evening had gone out the window and you found that you didn’t quite care as much as you thought you would. You could always talk with him in the morning.

“Ask me,” Rafael demanded as he slowly lowered his face to yours. “And tell me to stop, tell me if you don’t like anything I do.”

“Rafael, please kiss me,” you voice was quiet.

“And?” Rafael insisted, you smiled up at him you hands reaching to grab hold of his suspenders.

“And I promise I will tell you to stop if I need to and I will be clear if I don’t like something,” you responded.

“Good. Girl.” Rafael cooed just before his lips took yours.

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psi-spectacular · 30 days

Text

I don't like hazbin hotel (shocker)

A lot of the problems come down to three things: 1. Viv's issue with being unable to let a concept go, 2. Her inability to maintain a consistent tone, and 3. The fact that it only has eight episodes. Look at helluva boss for example. So many villains get cliffhangers that say "oooOoOoOo I'm gonna reappear in another episode, just you wait!!" And they either just don't or the execution is completely flubbed stryker-style. And what is the show supposed to be? Is it a slice of life comedy about imps killing people on the surface? That concept was basically abandoned like five episodes in. A serialized drama about a complex relationship? Nope! the exploration of Blitz and Stolas's toxic relationship is returned to status quo for gag comedy. OOP! We've got two new characters to center the episodes around while abandoning the core cast!

Now look at Hazbin. I really liked the pilots concept! The idea of sinners being redeemed was interesting, the animation was nice, the characters were compelling, and I was really interested to see how they would develop over time and become better people! Then episode one of the new season comes out. Suddenly its about how heaven sucks actually (Off topic but can we talk about how in the opening exposition, Charlie talks about how angels kill demons to keep them from rising against them, and then in the meeting with Adam talks about overpopulation? What's up with that?) and quickly turns into a war against heaven plot.

You know the main concept of the show? Redemption of sinners? Yeah. I can count how many episodes are about that on a couple fingers. And count how many characters are actually there for redemption on two. And there are so many side characters they like to focus on rather than, I don't know, Focus on Charlie?

Thats another problem! Charlie barely has a focus. You'd think, as the main character, she'd get some sort of development, or some kind of arc, or at least more of a personality than "sunshine princess with big dreams". I don't use this word very often or very lightly, but shes very much mary-sue ish. Her obvious issues (IE seemingly weirdly fundamentalist christian ideas on redemption, constant overstepping of boundaries, the fact that she barely seems to put anything into her relationship with Vaggie while Vaggie falls over herself to make sure Charlie's happy, Very visible savior complex) are never discussed or adressed, and the fact that her hotel is based on an idea that doesn't have any evidence of actually even being possible is only ever addressed by antagonists who are supposed to be in the wrong. She doesn't change, she doesn't do much, but still manages to get everyone to sacrifice themselves for a hotel they're supposed to be super attached to. But we're never shown WHY they care.

And don't get me started on the side characters. The V's are only important in 1-2 episodes and never again, Carmilla exists as a plot device, Lucifer's... Lucifer, Adam is a one-note sexist strawman, and they just... Keep introducing characters. Pentious, Cherry, Mimsy, Cannibal town! You care about these characters! You must you must you must!!!! What do you mean you don't know who these characters are? Of course you do! They were in the plot important pilot that you have to get on youtube to watch!

These characters could have been explored so much better if there was more time in the show. Yes, thats the fault of Amazon, but when you're working with constraints, you need to learn how to work within these constraints. Keeping the "Heaven bad, hell good" thing for the second season while leaving the first season to focus on character development would have made the final battle so much more impactful. It's like an anti steven universe. People complain about how much filler steven universe has, but without that "filler" we wouldn't care about the characters as much as we do. Hazbin hotel, on the other hand, is like watching all the "intense, plot important" episodes without any context of who these characters are and why we should care about them.

At some point, when you're working in the industry, you need to learn that you need to trim the fat. Get rid of certain characters and plot points. Kill some characters off if you need. Wait to introduce a concept. If you can only work with a short amount of episodes, focus on making a good story with well developed characters first and a grand finale later. If you can wait, Wait. If you can't, don't. I know there's a second season but I genuinely don't know how it can go from here. Adam's dead, a sinner is redeemed, the hotel was rebuilt bigger and better than ever... what now?

TL;DR Hazbin Hotel reminds me of me and my friends old edgy gods and goddesses discord roleplay from when I was 13 than an actual planned story.

Sorry for the essay. Its honestly painful seeing something I looked forward too for years flop so hard on the execution. I love the concept, the songs, the animation is.... okay, Angel dust is best boy, but everything else is just eh. Mid. It tries to be so grandiose but I just felt bored and very confused throughout the whole thing, and very uncomfortable during episode 4. Its not offensively bad (hell, its barely even as offensive as people say it is) But its just. Not good in my opinion.

#long post #very long post #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical #vivziepop neg #hazbin hotel neg

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actualbird · 8 months

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HI!!! i wanted to ask ur opinion on how the nxx boys sneeze 😭 it was a hilarious thought because i was trying to sleep when suddenly i heard my dad make the loudest, most disruptive sneeze ever and i thought "thats so funny lol WAIT what if the tot boys sneezed".

i generally think the tot boys would be more "a-chooooo...." rather than a nuclear explosion but i need ur opinion. HOW WOULD THEY SNEEZE!!??

scream omfg i love this ask and i remember i actually talked about this with @samsspambox once forever ago so, without further ado

how the nxx boys sneeze

vyn: sneezes normal but my god he's super sensitive to allergies and, most of all, Pollen. which is hell, given that he loves to garden. but his easy workaround is just to wear a mask, and that usually saves him when hes working on his own garden. but come Pollen Season, and all the plants and trees spewing particles into the air, and hes a nose-clogged sneezy mess. his students know that when it's pollen season to not piss him off because he will be so cranky from all the sneezing and also the horrid feeling of only having one nostril unobstructed

artem: sneezes the Loud Dad Sneeze. he is the disruptive sneezer, the nuclear explosion. he is sneezing like how a lion roars deeply to establish its territory lines, except artem isnt a literal lion and does not do this on purpose. his sneezes are LOUD. the type of loud that makes people want to ask artem if hes okay afterwards cuz it's so loud it seemed like it dislodged a rib or something. it's immensely comical, given artem's usual quiet nature, that his sneezes are a force of nature. he could sneeze in his office and people all the way over in the pantry would hear it. he is, and i cannot stress this enough, so fucking embarrassed about it.

marius: the sneeze that keeps wanting to happen but Doesnt happen. you know, the cliffhanger sneeze, the sneezes that are like "ah...aaAAAHH...AAAAAAAHH—" and then the resulting "choo" doesnt happen. and this Not Happening just Keeps Happening. it's agonizing. marius will start a sneeze at 9:55am but the Conclusion Of The Sneeze only happens by 10:03am, once hes already in a meeting with the board of directors. how unsightly, he KNOWS, but the worst part really is the sheer anticipation. what marius would GIVE to have a normal sneeze.

luke: the tiniest kitten sneeze on the planet, and always 6 times consecutively in a row MINIMUM. back during the NSB Days(TM), the fearsome Agent Raven arrived at the training class he handles with a slight cold, saying he'll just monitor and teach and give pointers while socially distanced. the trainees were so scared cuz "wow, hes still coming in even when hes sick, how TERRIFYINGLY DEDICATED, to be expected from the FEARSOME AGENT RAVEN." and then luke steps back and grabs a piece of tissue, obviously rearing for a sneeze, and the trainees thought "oh i bet his sneeze is the Loud Disruptive one, just like his own scary fighting skills, to be expected from the FEARSOME AGENT RAVE—" and then

it's the smallest, cutest sneeze. one after the other. and another. and another. it was like hearing a squeaky dog toy get squeezed several times vigorously. it was like how you'd assume a pixie sneezes. it was like the sound sprinkles and pink bubbles would make if those could sneeze.

once luke is done with his consecutive sneezes (that, for the life of him, he could not stop) he promptly death-glares at the trainees and they all agree to Never Bring It Up.

but the consecutive kitten sneezes still follow luke through his life and all the way up to, yep, the nxx team being able to witness it

mc: awww, it's been so long since ive seen your cute sneeze!!

luke, nose clogged: it's [sneeze] not cute! [sneeze]

marius: it's so cute, i think my heart is melting

luke: shut [sneeze] up!

marius: AAAWWW, is the big bad agent having some twouble? >:3

luke: dont you f[sneeze]ucking patronize [sneeze] me!

mc: do you need more tissue?

luke: PLE[sneeze]ASE

#tears of themis #tears of themis headcanon #vyn richter #artem wing #marius von hagen #luke pearce #im a consecutive sneezer but not tiny kitten sneezes just normal consecutive #asks #anon

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justmeinadaze · 10 months

Text

Head Filled With Demons Part 3 (Steddie X You)

A/N with Warnings: Demon Steddie and Human Fem Reader.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Read my warning and heed what I'm telling you. This chapter (kind of like the others) deals a lot with grief. With Eddie in part 2 it was grief of a partner and in this one its the grief of a parent. The guys do give her memories of her and her parents and reader does talk about her pain of losing her father. Yes he dad passes. I dont want you going in blind to that.

A lot of her feelings in the beginning are based off of my own when my dad passed away.

If this triggers you (which I completely understand) DO NOT read further. It is only in the beginning but still.

SMUT (DP, Steddie gets intimate, dom qualities seep through especially between them, choking, scolding, I think that's it), Angst, I am me so there is all the angst, Besides the mentions above there is talk about the grief of losing their realm (their home) , Steve talks a lot about feeling lonely and his guilt over not being able to protect his friends, Eddie talks about feeling their predicament is his fault. A war from their world is talked about and a vision is shown about how Steve saved Eddie <3, there is a cliffhanger ending so enjoy that :)

Fluff of course, they care about her and vise versa. There is also a lot of love mentioned and expanding on between these two demons.

ENTER WITH CAUTION! THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL!

Word Count: 7976

“Y/N. Y/N, sweetie. Wake up.”

You grumble at the sound of your father’s voice before fully sitting up. “Dad. Oh my goodness. Are you ok?”

“Yes, baby. I’m fine. I haven’t felt this good in a long time actually.”, he chuckles as his finger brushes your hair behind your ear like he always did when you were little. “Come here. I want to show you something.”

Without waiting, he exits your room as you throw off your blankets. Suddenly remembering where you were the night prior, your hands flew down expecting to feel the silky red fabric but you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw your pajama shorts and tank top.

When you entered the living room, you found your dad staring out the front window. Once again, Hawkins was engulfed in flames but this time it didn’t frighten you. You had come to see this sight so many times that you were beginning to feel numb to it.

“I asked them to look after you for me; your friends.”

“Dad, they aren’t going to be here for too long.”

He smiles as he turns away from the glass and takes your hand in his. “Your mom used to say that about you. ‘Honey, you have to enjoy the kid years because they aren’t here for too long. Soon she’ll be off to college and married.’”

When his gaze shifted, you reached to bring it back to yours.

“Dad, I don’t blame you for how my life is. This isn’t your fault. I love seeing you every day and spending time with you.”

He nods, grasping your other hand. “I guess this task you have to complete is the last time you’ll be taking care of someone. Funny it would be the whole world.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Promise me, Y/N, when this is over that you’ll finally live your life for you and be happy.”

“When what is over? Dad? Wait…”

After kissing your forehead, he released you from his hold and started heading for the kitchen where your mother was waiting with a smile of her own.

“Don’t be too hard on them, Y/N. This isn’t their fault.”

“What isn’t?! No! Come back! Don’t leave me here alone!”

As they walk down the hallway, sunlight blinds you as you fall to your knees.”

Your eyes shoot open and you promptly jump out of bed to run to your father’s room.

“Honey, hang on a minute—” Steve tries to stop you as you push him out of the way. His head hangs as Eddie glares towards the opposite end of the house. He closes his eyes as they hear you scream and listen to you sob.

***

“Miss Y/L/N?”, Detective Hopper said your name with so much delicacy as he kneeled in front of you from your place on the couch. “I…I know how hard this is for you right now but I want you to know if you need anything, of course, feel free to come by the station. We have, uh, services that can help you and you’re not alone.”

You nodded without saying a word causing him to sigh as he stood up and headed out the door. Once everyone was gone, you headed for your father’s bedroom and laid down on his mattress, inhaling his smell. Steve’s hand caressed your leg but you barely felt it; you couldn’t feel anything.

Eddie sits in front of you and music suddenly fills the area. Glancing his way, you notice a guitar in his hands as he gently began plucking the strings. His soothing voice began to sing and you feel your body practically melt into the mattress as your soul calmed and your eyes closed.

“You're just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you You'd be like Heaven to touch I wanna hold you so much.”

Your mother gathers her things and jacket as she heads out of the dressing room door.

“Um excuse me. I…”, your fathers words trailed off as she stopped to face him. “I just, um, I… oh shit!”, the man cursed as he tripped over his feet and fell onto the ground right in front of the beautiful ballerina.

“Oh no. Are you alright?”, she giggles as she helps him up.

“Yeah, um, I guess I’m not as graceful as you are with your feet.” Her grin grows as a happy sigh leaves his lips at the sight. “I just wanted to tell you that I think you did great out there. You dance very, uh, very well.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes scan his as he nervously nods, scolding himself as he turns to walk the other way and leave her alone to hide from the shame. “Hey, I was going to grab some food. Would you like to join me?”

“At long last, love has arrived And I thank God I'm alive You're just too good to be true Can't take my eyes off of you.”

Your father sings those lyrics to your mother as they dance together in their wedding wardrobe.

“You’re such a goofball.”

“Yeah, but I’m YOUR goofball.”, he smiles wide as he spins her and her dress twirls.

“Till death do us part.” She leans forward to kiss him, giggling when he lifts her off the ground.

Guests clap as they join them on the dance floor and begin swaying to the music.

“When do you think we should spring the news on them about the baby?”

“I love you, baby And if it's quite alright I need you, baby To warm the lonely night I love you, baby Trust in me when I say.”

“Daddy!”, six-year-old you cries as you run into the house.

“Oh no, sweetheart. What happened?” Your father meets you halfway lifting you up onto the counter.

“I fell.” He makes a small hm noise as he inspects your bloody knee.

“That’s ok, my love. We can make it all better.” Reaching above you, your dad grabs the band aids and rag that he quickly wets before coming back to you to clean you up.

“You know, mommy falls all the time when she’s practicing.” He poses like a ballerina, making you giggle. “But she gets right back up and keeps dancing.” After placing the bandage over your cut, he leans in to kiss the top before kissing your forehead. “Alright, go get back out there and keep playing!”

“Oh, pretty baby Don't bring me down, I pray Oh, pretty baby Now that I've found you, stay And let me love you, baby Let me love you.”

“My daughter; the high school graduate. I’m so proud!”

You roll your eyes playfully as your dad snaps another picture.

“Dad, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is! You worked hard to get here and I know your mom is smiling down from heaven agreeing with me. I heard our song on the radio this morning so I know. ‘I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say.’” You grin as he sings and tries to dance with you before he begins to cough. “No, no. I’m fine. It’s fine.”, he shoos as you rub his back.

“This is your day, honey. Come on. Let this old man take you to dinner and then I’ll set you free to hang out with your friends.”

The music stopped as your eyes opened to both demon’s looking down at you tenderly. Eddie’s hand reached out to touch your cheek and you immediately broke as you sobbed. Falling to his back, he pulled you to his side and held you tightly to him as Steve laid behind you, wrapping his arms around you to do the same.

#############

“Y/N, sweetheart.” Eddie tries to pet your head but you shuffle away from him as you roll over in bed.

“Honey, we don’t want to push you but we’re on week two here. You have to kill another person.”

They both sigh aggressively as you pull the blankets over your head. Abruptly the covers disappear and you find yourself standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror with them on either side of you.

“Maybe we can go for a walk outside, get some sun, find a victim. You know, fun stuff.”

“Stop it.”, you scold Steve as you try and leave but he blocks you with his body.

“Y/N, you have to do this.”

“Fuck off, Steven.”, you sneered. It took all of his energy to hold down his temper as his eyes met your own.

“I know you’re in an immense amount of pain, Y/N. I’m really fucking sorry about that. If there was anything we could have done, I swear we would have. That being said, you still have a responsibility to save the world.”

“Why?” His eyebrows furrowed together at your question. “My world is gone. Why should I help all these fucking assholes especially the assholes in this stupid, greedy fucking town! Fuck them! Let them suffer.”

“That’s not what your parents would have wanted.”

“Oh, fuck you, Eddie! You both didn’t know my mom and you met my dad once! You have no idea what the fuck they wanted!”

“How quick you forget, little one. We can see into your soul. We may not have been there but we saw and felt everything because you did.” His ring lace palm lands on your chest. “They were both good people like you and wanted what’s best for you. They would not have wanted you to die burning with the world.”

You exhale heavily as you push down the urge to cry again. “Fine. I’ll go for a fucking walk.”

***

You stroll with your head down in no particular direction and since they succeeded in at least getting you out of the house your demons don’t pester you but remain close behind. It isn’t until you hear the gravel under your feet that one of them finally speaks.

“What is the point of a high school?” Pausing you turn to glance at them, finding their eyes looking at the building behind you as Steve continues. “I mean, you guys have the little kid school and a middle one but then you have a high one? It feels excessive.”

“Demons don’t have schools?”

“Uh, not exactly. I mean, we have training or Steve and I did rather. It kind of depends on what you plan to do.”

“So you’re telling me you two planned to be killers?”

They blinked as their gaze shifted back to you. “Again…not exactly.”

You walked over to one of the side doors, huffing when you find it locked. With a quick snap, they open and the three of you wonder inside.

“My father wasn’t royalty like the king but he was respected. He was kind of like humans version of a general or captain. The princess’s father told him where he wanted us and he made sure things got done. He wanted me to be just like him.”

“Which is ironic because I don’t think your dad ever killed one thing a day in his long miserable life.”, Eddie muses as he touches some of the assignments hanging along the school walls. “Who needs this stuff? Fucking quadratic formula?” He grins when he notices you smile.

“You didn’t want that, Steve?”

“I don’t know what I wanted. Honestly, I don’t really think I had a choice.”

“What about you, Eddie?”

“I like singing and playing my instrument. That’s what I wanted to do with my existence but… I mean you do what you have to do.”

“Why did you have to hurt people?”

“Demons and creatures. Not people, sweetheart. We don’t usually play here in this realm, not our kind anyway. Um, so my father was I guess what you would call a deserter. There was a big war in our realm a LONG time ago and he, uh, he ran. Demons like Steve found him and brought him back. He, as far as I know, is still being tortured in a king’s cell. I offered to take his place in the army; youngest demon to do so.”

“That must have been hard. Your mom didn’t protest?”

“Kind of like yours, princess, mine died awhile back.”

You turn to Steve who softly smiles. “Mine did everything and anything my dad wanted so what I did or wanted didn’t really matter.”

You guys enter the cafeteria and they marvel at the simplicity of it.

“When did you two meet?”

“When he volunteered, I kept an eye on him. No offense, buddy, but in the beginning, you weren’t the fighter type.”

“That’s fair.”, Eddie giggles as he hops onto a table and walks along it.

“Out on the field he sacrificed himself to protect one of the younger ones and was about to die before I saved him.”

The metalhead looking demon clasped his hands together dramatically. “My hero.”

Steve playfully scrunches his nose at him as they both grin.

“Can I see it?”

“Are you sure you want to? There’s some violence. You hated that last time.”

“It’s ok. I want to see.”

He nods at your request and as soon as he snaps his fingers you find yourself on a red stained battlefield. Something screeched above your head and you ducked down nearly missing the winged creature that soared by. Off in the distance, you saw a young boy with a sword fighting a demon twice his size. He was doing alright until you noticed someone sneaking up behind him.

“Kid, look out!”, you screamed but you voice had an echo. Someone else had shouted the same thing at the same time. Before you could fully register what was happening Eddie swished past you and his sword blocked the other demon’s from hurting the young boy.

The kid continued to fight the being in front of him as Eddie fell backwards, his weapon keeping the other from penetrating his body.

“Eddie! Hang on, man. I’m coming.”

“No…rush…Dustin. Take your time.”, he hissed through gritted teeth. Suddenly, the demon above him grunted before collapsing to the side. Steve spit on the ground beside him before tugging his weapon out of the thing’s skull and extending his hand to his new friend.

“That was brave. Stupid but brave.”

“Thank you? You always have a way with words, Steven.” Eddie points towards the boy who finally slays his monster and beams over at them with pride. “Aren’t you their protector?”

“Yes, but this one keeps ignoring my advice.”

“Oh, come on. You’re not that mad at me.”

“I miss that little fucker.”, Eddie sighs as you guys head towards the hallway.

“What happened to him?”

“He’s still there in our realm. When we left, he was just starting a little family of his own.”, Steve smiled but you could see the pain behind it.

“So, it really has just been you two for all this time.” They nod but notice you make a thinking face as you enter the front office.

“What was that there? What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you guys something but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Their eyes narrow in your direction as they take a seat in the chairs in front of the principal’s desk and cross their legs.

“Well, have at it, little one.”

“You won’t disappear?”

“Scouts honor.”, Steve chuckles as he crosses his heart.

You grin as you sit in the comfy chair across from them. “When we were together last time, I, um, I thought I saw you two kissing and touching each other.”

Neither moves nor do they take their eyes off you.

“What’s your question, honey?”

“Is what I saw…real?”

Their heads tilt at the same time and you cross your own legs to suffocate the ache the sight gives you.

“When you spend…a millennia alone with one other being…things happen.” You can tell Eddie is choosing his words carefully but so were you so you couldn’t be annoyed about it. This past week had been one of the worst weeks of your life. You felt so numb and was desperate to feel something, anything. Even if that was them getting angry with you.

“Do you two fuck each other?”, you ask bluntly.

“Yes.” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised by Steve’s equally blunt honesty.

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yes.”, Eddie answers.

“Were you always intimate? Even in your realm.”

“No.”

“Answer me.”

“We did.”, Steve growls but it wasn’t exactly an angry growl. You had heard that before from them. This was protective; like with Eddie’s memories of his princess, for them this was personal.

“Do you trust me?”, you ask and they shift their gaze to each other.

“You don’t understand, Y/N.”

“Help me to, Ed.”

“Honey, do you know the last time we were out like this? 1932. Before that? 1885.”

“Maybe you can use some of that math you learned from high school to find out how much time Steve and I spend alone.”

“Even then, we meet you people and it’s never for long. Eddie and I are each other’s constant. We understand each other and what we’ve been through…what we are STILL going through.”

“What can you show me?”

Steve snickers at your question. “Nothing because it’s none of your damn business, little girl.”

“Why?”, Eddie asks causing his friend to whip his head in his direction. “Why do you want to see it? To get off?”

Without hesitation you shake your head. “I want to understand. I want to help if I can.”

Both their eyes soften at your confession. “We’re here for you, sweetheart, you don’t need to help us.”

“Ok. No, I understand. I just want you to know that if…if you two want to be together when you…when we…I don’t mind.” You smile at them as you stand up and exit the principal’s office. As soon as you walk through the doorway, however, you look around to realize you’re in the hall of your home.

Two hands grip your shoulders as fingers snap and images flash in front of your eyes. Since they can’t show you within the stone and where they stay, all you are able to see are flashes of small intimate moments like the one you experienced with them but with other beings who had summoned them.

“Fuck…” This was different than the other visions they gave you. This was like when they fucked you and you felt your soul leave your body before your climax brought you back to earth. “Why…oh… oh my…feel…”

You felt the feelings heighten as your core warmed between your legs. Steve’s voice cut through your euphoria but he sounded so far away.

“Because this is us. The way we feel about each other…is the way we feel about you, baby. Can you see it? The love we have for each other?”

A woman in a long fancy thirties style gown drops to her knees, taking his cock into her mouth. Eddie removes the demon’s jacket, throwing it to the side before leaning his forehead on Steve’s back and wraps his arms around to his chest.

“Fuck, yes, honey.”, he groans as the demon places tender kisses along his back.

Eddie pushes the man over the end of the bed and roughly thrusts into him. As his eyes close, Steve turns his friend’s head and kisses his lips as their tongues mingle together. Their hands caress each other’s face before pulling away as he pumps into him harder.

The pressure builds in your stomach as you feel the coil beginning to wind.

As you sleep, they lay on either side of you, gently caressing you before Steve reaches out to touch Eddie’s cheek.

“Are you ok? I know it’s been a while since you’ve talked about her.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just thinking about Y/N. I don’t want to leave her, Steve. She actually fucking cares about us. It’s been so long since I felt that.”

The demon leans over and places a kiss on his lips.

“I know. I don’t want to either but…no matter what happens…you’ll have me.”

The ball in your belly explodes as you begin to scream but it’s muffled by a palm as you blink back into reality. They were both standing in front of you with Steve’s hand in your jeans as his fingers continued to thrust you through your climax.

“Atta girl. Come back, sweetheart. Come back to us.”, Eddie cooed as he removed his own hand from your mouth.

Your panicked eyes began to look around as you pushed them both out of the way and ran to the living room. The metalhead looking demon appeared suddenly in front of you and captured you in his arms.

“Y/N, it’s ok, baby. You’re ok. Calm down.”

You turned around and smacked him, startling him as he dropped you to the ground. Your hair blocked your face as you pushed up on your hands and knees, heaving as you tried to catch your breath.

“Y/N, baby girl. Breathe. Talk to me. What’s happening?”, Steve asked in a stern protector filled voice. “I know this may be a bit of a shock but you’re scaring us.”

The room suddenly goes silent before your exasperated laugh fills the area. Falling to your side, he pushed your hair out of the way.

“Yeah? That’s funny?”, the demon smiles. “We’ve never shown anyone that before. What happened? Was it too much?”

“Do you two…recognize that it’s more…than love?”

Eddie slides down the to the floor, handing you a glass of water that you thanked him for.

“What do you mean, princess?”

You shakily sat up, their hands shooting out to help you. “I didn’t just feel the affection. I felt…the pain of being lonely…missing home. Of no one understanding you and what you went through. As…as I saw the later years, I felt the need and wanting to be left alone. I felt Steve’s anger at feeling out of control and your guilt, Eddie, over feeling like him being here was your fault.”

You started to cry again as you continued. “Then I felt how you feel about me. Please…please don’t love me. I don’t want you to hurt like that again.”

Steve almost aggressively pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly to his chest. All Eddie could do was stare as he watched you shake in his friend’s embrace. A week ago, you had just lost someone who meant the world to you. Someone you had cared for most of your adult life. Within under 2 weeks, you needed to kill two more people, something you never meant to do or become to save humanity. You had been used for your kindness by so many people, yet you were still so empathetic and willing to help.

You had every reason to become bitter and angry, yet even now you weren’t thinking about how after the timer ends, they would disappear from your life to. You were worried about how that was going to destroy them. They had never met demons or creatures from what you humans referred to as hell but looking at you now he was pretty sure he was in love with an angel from heaven.

###########

“Thank you.”

Both their eyes shifted up to from their place at the dining room table to look at you. After they calmed you down, they were finally able to get you to sit and eat something even though you protested the entire time insisting you weren’t hungry.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to show me that. Like I said, I don’t mind if you two—”

“You’re welcome.”, Steve cut you off with a tight smile.

You understood without him needing to explain. You felt how important that bond with his friend was. Their current lives revolved around serving people and this was something that was theirs; something no one could take from them.

“Can I ask you one more question and I promise to leave you alone for tonight?”

They nod, preparing themselves for whatever was about to come.

“Did my dad ask you to watch over me?” Eddie heavily sighed as Steve nodded again. “C-can I…?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’ve been through so much tonight already.”

“Please, Edward. Please.”, you beg. His eyes lock with yours at the sound of his name. He blinks as a tear escapes them and you notice his irises are no longer brown but his red demon eyes. “I’m sorry. Are you…are you angry?”

He adamantly shakes his head. “No, baby, I’m not angry. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore.”

You rise from your seat and find home in his lap as you keen into his neck, wrapping your arms around him.

His hand tenderly pets your head, running his fingers through your hair as he holds you close.

“Steve.”

The sound of him snapping echoes from behind you and as you look up towards the other end of the table, you see your father coughing as you run towards the bedroom to get his medicine.

His palm reaches out to grip Steve’s arm and the demon covers it with his own hand comfortingly.

“My daughter must…like you two if she…brought you home. Since I got sick, people stopped… coming by.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You two are amazing people.”

He grins at Eddie’s compliment. “Look after her for me…please. She deserves to be loved and cared for the way she does with everyone else.”

Steve nods as he leans closer to him. “Everything’s going to be alright, sir. I promise.”

Your father starts to cough again as you reappear with his medication.

“Ok, let’s get you to bed and then tomorrow we can go back out to look for lucky person number 2.”

“I have to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Even better. Definitely likely to find someone in that shitty environment.”, Eddie softly smiles down at you as he lifts you up and brings you to your bedroom.

“Can we—”

“No. Not tonight.”, Steve cuts you off again, this time with a bit more anger.

“I don’t care if it’s my way or the demon way. I just want you both. Please Steven. Please…”

An aggressively angry growl came up from his stomach making you jump as you hid behind Eddie’s shoulder. They both exchanged a look that seemed to make the other demon angrier.

“No, Eddie.”

“Steve, it’s ok.”

“It’s not fucking ok!” He abruptly disappeared until you heard frustrated grunts in the kitchen. “Goddamn it, Edward! Fucking stop!”

Eddie sighed as he calmly grabbed your hand and walked with you back out towards the area.

“She’s not even asking for that! Didn’t we show her enough?!” Steve tries to leave again and you watch as he blips from the kitchen into the living room. The demon turns around to face his friend, stalking towards him, and grabbing his throat as he shoves him against the nearby wall.

“Steve, Eddie stop! It’s ok.”

Eddie raises his palm in your direction, silencing you as he stares at the other demon.

“What are afraid of, Steve? Hm?” His nose brushes against the tip of his. “Come on, baby, tell me.”

“Y/N…you felt it…you’ve seen it. EVERYTHING we’ve been through.”, he shakily exhales. “What you didn’t see were the angry nights when the cabin fever sets in. The nightmares of home and memories of things we no longer have. Those nights where I just feel so out of fucking control. This demon, my friend, he keeps me sane. He holds me on those days I can’t stop shaking from just wanting to tear our fucking environment to the ground. The first time we were together…it was the first time in a long while I felt safe.” Steve chuckles as he leans back and lets Eddie go.

“It’s kind of funny, huh? A demon being scared and lonely.” He glances your way before shifting to his feet. “I’m afraid of that changing. I don’t want that safe feeling he gives me to go away.”

You tackle him into your arms, squeezing him tightly to you. “I would never do that. I would never change what you two have. You’re safe with me to, Steven. I promise.”

The two demon’s eyes meet, continuing to stare at each other as Eddie takes your hand and places it on his groin.

“Go ahead, sweetheart. Get us started and we’ll do the rest.”

As you sink to your knees, their clothes disappear as their cocks come into view in front of your face.

“Y/N.”, Eddie says your name sternly as he quickly grips your wrist. “We may lose control here in the sense of keeping up our appearances. If you get scared or you feel unsafe, I want you to say ‘red’, okay?” Their eyes remain focused on one another but you notice Steve’s chest deflate as he exhales.

“Yes, sir. Say red if I get scared or feel unsafe.”

“Good girl, princess.” With that the demon releases his hold on you, capturing his friend’s cheeks and bringing his lips to his own.

Gripping both of them you stroke and suck their lengths as they groan above you. When your eyes glance at them, their tongues mingle together as Eddie takes hold of the other demon’s throat. Their cocks get harder in your hands at the action.

“Since when do you shove me against a wall and tell me what to do? Huh, little boy?”, Eddie murmurs roughly against his lips. “I may have given you too much control up here.”

“Fuck-- I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Eddie whispered something in his ear that you couldn’t hear but whatever it was made Steve growl like he did before in the forest. He nodded before abruptly leaning down to lift you into his arms and carry you to the couch. After tearing off your clothes, he places you vertically before sinking down on his knees and pushing your legs wide open as his tongue licked a few stripes between your folds.

“Oh, Steve!”

The demon promptly sat up straight as his palm shot out to slap you before roughly grabbing your cheeks.

“You’ve been saying my name properly all fucking day with an attitude or with that pathetic little pout. Now when I’m between your legs making you feel good you suddenly don’t feel the need?!”

“I’m sorry, Steven. I won’t do it again. Please, don’t stop.”

Without a word, his lips wrap around your clit as he sucks and flicks at the little bud. Eddie lowers himself behind him, pulling his hips flush with his own as he kisses up Steve’s back. His arms wrap around to his chest as he trusts forward making the other demon moan loudly into your cunt.

You tried to keep your eyes open as you watched Eddie pump into him, your fingers threading through his hair as his head pushed up into the feeling.

“Come on, Steven. Make our pretty girl—mmm—make her cum. Make her cum and I’ll allow you to, my good boy.”

Steve pushed his mouth deeper into you like a man possessed. With every grunt and flick, he had you coming undone.

“Yes, Steven! I’m gonna…” Your body trembled as you came. As the aftershocks coursed through you, you opened your eyes noticing his head was hung as Eddie thrust into him harder. Sliding to the floor between his arms, you placed his head in the nook of your neck as you ran your fingers through his hair.

You felt it as soon as his forehead touched your flesh, his demon skin mixed with sweat. Your nails ran down his back as the other demon leaned back on his knees, holding his waist as he groaned. His eyes locked with yours as he felt Steve tighten around him as he came, you pressing his face into your throat as he panted.

Eddie carefully pulled out and collapsed on top of him as he reached beneath him to massage his chest.

“Good boy, Steven. Very good. You feel so fucking good when you cum. Come on. We aren’t done yet.”

Without looking at you, Steve got up to sit on the couch beside you and lift you onto his lap. “Hold-hold open your ass for me, honey, and lean forward a bit.”

“You promise you’ll go slow?”

One of his palms lightly wrap around your throat as he tugs you against him where his lips are waiting. “I promise.”, he whispers and you nod before doing what he asked.

Gripping the base of his cock, he gradually pushes the tip into you causing you both to hiss; him more than you.

“It’s ok, Y/N. You’re doing good, sweetheart. Look at me.” A loud, deep snarl from behind startles you and on instinct you try to turn around but Eddie quickly cups your face in his hands. “No, no. I said look at me not him.”

“Fuck. Is he ok?”

“Yeah, baby girl. He’s fine. Maybe a little overstimulated but…”, he grins. “How does he feel?”

“B-big.”

“You’re not wrong.”, Eddie chuckles as he caresses your face, watching you carefully as his friend finally bottoms out. You whine at the fullness as he bends towards you to kiss your lips. “I know, princess. I know. Let me know when you’re ready for me, okay?”

“Don’t move her to much, Eddie. She’s—mmm—she’s so fucking tight.”

“Lean back, little one, but keep your eyes on me.”, he murmurs in a gentle tone as you do what he says. His arm forcefully shoots out to grab the boys face. “What’s my name, Steven?”

“Edward.”

“And who’s in charge right now, little boy?”

Eddie had leaned past you to scold the other demon but you kept your eyes in front of you for fear of that wrath being turned on you. At that moment, his palm was holding your head as you keened into his touch. You wanted him to keep gently praising you whether it be with his words or his hands.

“You are, Edward.”, he responded through clenched teeth.

When he came back to face you, his eyes were that red color you were beginning to get used to. Being in control again, having you both submit and beg reminded him of the glory days back home. Ironically, however, having this kind of control was making him lose control of his mask as the demon side of him was pushing through. It was the same for Steve. He may be vulnerable for Eddie but in moments like this it reminded him he was safe.

The protector just needed someone to take care of him for once and he found that in moments like this.

Your thumb ran under his eyes, giving him pause.

“Is this okay? It’s not frightening you, is it?” When you shook your head, he softly smiled. “Good. Full disclosure, Steve’s having a harder time than me so just keep those beautiful eyes on me.”

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie’s palm took hold of your thigh as he scooted closer to you both between your legs. Even with just his tip, you felt full of them both. The demon’s fingers continued to caress your cheek and lips as he slowly pushed forward.

“Good girl, sweetheart. Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

His last couple of words came out deeper than what you were used to causing your pussy to flutter around him. His growl was low at the feeling, almost like a warning that just turned you on more. Steve’s palms looped around to firmly knead your tits as his fingers played with your nipples.

“Steven, ca-can I—mmm—can I kiss you?”

Tenderly, he tilted your head and placed his lips on yours. When his tongue slid into your mouth, a tiny gasp escapes you at how different it felt. The many times he had kissed you previously, he had a normal tongue, a human tongue. This time it felt longer, thicker, and tasted different…better. It tasted like Steve. When he tried to pull away, your hand shot out to the back of his neck holding him where he was.

The grunt that left him was guttural, coming straight from his stomach making you whimper at the sound. Fingers roughly grabbed your cheek and forced you to face forward.

“Y/N…”, Eddie warned. “You’re playing with fire, little one.”

With him being fully sheathed inside of you now, he was a lot closer to your face than he was previously.

“Can I taste you to?” He started to bring his lips to your own but you pulled back slightly before he could reach you. “I want to taste you, Edward.”

Slowly, he tilted his head to kiss you and you willingly opened your mouth to invite him in. When his tongue caressed your own, your whole body came alive and you relished the feeling. Sensing the change, he began to lean away but you hastily grabbed his chin.

“No, no, please. It’s not you. I just…all week I’ve been…having trouble feeling anything. It’s nice feeling this.”

Eddie heavily sighed, his breath warming your face as his forehead landed on your own. Hesitantly, you tried kissing him again and he allow it, tangling his fingers in your hair as they both thrust their hips. You mewled as he held your head to his, Steve groaning and whimpering behind you.

Guiding you back, Eddie laid your head on his friend’s shoulder as they both gripped your hips and slammed into you. You wanted to keep your eyes open but the euphoria of them working together this way was too much. You felt the sudden shifts against your skin as they struggled to keep up their appearances. Rough material grazed you every now and then and the sounds they made were deep like a predator asserting dominance.

You wanted to become accustomed to them…who they really were underneath the illusion they displayed for you. You tried your best to cling to the demon skin but it was too harsh on your sensitive human tissue. A ringed palm grabbed your throat as another came from behind to circle your clit.

“F-fuck… cum, pretty girl. You deserve it. Come on, baby.”, Eddie chanted as they both thrust into you harder.

In that moment, you opened your eyes to find his red ones watching you intently.

“You’re both…both so beautiful.”

He chuckled as he leaned closer to you. “Not as beautiful as you, princess.”

“Don’t take…your eyes…off me.” The demon nodded and your eyes remained locked with his as your body shook, screaming as you came.

The sight was almost too much for Eddie as his hips pounded into your own, growling as he released his seed inside of your cunt.

“I know. I know. It feels so fucking good. Thank you. Thank you.”, you cooed as your thumb ran along his bottom lip. Leaning back, you met Steve’s own red eyes as your arm circle around his neck to run your fingers through his hair. “Cum Steven. Fill me up to. Please. I need it.”

His limbs wrapped around you tightly and he thrust up into you roughly a few more times before you felt his seed warm your insides. Nobody moved as they panted against you.

“Eddie. Steve. Something is hurting me.”

Your protector’s head immediately comes to attention as he quickly scans you over. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit, honey. I’m sorry.” Both demons carefully pull out of you and you wince as Eddie lifts you his arms as they head for the bathroom.

Looking into the mirror, you notice some cuts along your back that were bleeding.

After turning on your shower, they guide you in as Steve begins to take care of you. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think when I held you to me. My skin is a lot tougher than yours.”

“Why is that?”, you ask trying to distract yourself from the slight pain.

“I mean…different realm, different environment and climate, constant fighting and war…take your pick.”, Eddie laughs. “Your skin protects you against the sun and your earths elements, right? Same thing essentially.”

“Thank you…for this past week…for being there.” You don’t see but they both exchange a look.

“I wish we could do more.”, Steve sighs as he turns off the water and they dry you off before leading you back to your bedroom. “These aren’t deep. They should heal in a few days.”

As you wonder around your room getting ready for bed, you notice they are both now fully clothed again as they sit on your mattress waiting for you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eddie rub his back before he tenderly kisses his shoulder.

“I wish I could do more for you.” They blink in confusion as their gaze shifts to you. “I know you said it’s not a prison but you both don’t seem happy. I wish I could set you free or something.”

They both look away as you turn off the light and crawl into bed between them, resting your head on your pillow. Eddie’s fingers play with your hair as they watch you close your eyes and scoot as close to them as possible.

“Princess, can we ask you something?” You responded with a small hm as you waited. “You said you felt the love we have for you?”

“Mhmm.”

“Did you feel that it’s real? How much we genuinely care about you?”

“Hmm…mhmm…”, you respond sleepily.

Steve laid flat on his side as his eyes scanned your face before reaching over to hold your hand which you immediately snuggled to your chest.

“I love you, Y/N.”, he whispered.

Eddie’s arm reached out to lay across both your hips as he kissed the back of your head.

“I love you to, sweetheart.”

Assuming you had fallen asleep, they laid silently thinking about everything that had transpired. They had tried so many times before to stay in this realm but everything they did failed. As soon as the task was completed, no matter where they were or what they did they were put back into their area until the stone summoned them again.

The worst part about going back was the silence which was ironically deafening. Coming from a loud world full of energy to nothing but them was its own kind of torture. There were so many times they considered running to Oblivion thinking it couldn’t be much worse. When they were alone, like you had mentioned, Eddie did constantly blame himself. Even though he didn’t kill Chrissy, he had still been on the run and it was Steve’s job to find him. If he had stayed where he was and took the punishment at least his friend would still be in their realm and happy.

What he didn’t know was that Steve wouldn’t have been happy. The princess was his friend to and if he had gotten taken in Steve would have no one he felt close to. Once again, he would be alone to fight endless battles day in and day out until really did become like his father. Running with Eddie was a no brainer for him but what he hated was that they had to run at all. He couldn’t convince the king to hear his friend out and just like Eddie felt that he failed to protect them both. He couldn’t even convince the other solider not to kill him, having to murder him so they could get away.

Steve desperately wanted them to have a new home but every place they settled into they ended up running again, hiding in a new realm to start over. When they found that stone and spoke to the woman that put them there, he begged her to take him instead of them both but she refused.

One night, Eddie watched as his once strong friend broke screaming and breakdown as he broke things in their makeshift house. That was the night he kissed him, passionately pushing him against the wall and giving Steve everything he had.

“I’m sorry, Edward. I keep failing you.”, he cried as he fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Eddie sighed, trying to keep his own emotions in check as he lightly tugged on Steve’s hair, forcing him to look up at him.

“Listen to me. You didn’t fail me, okay? If anything, this is my fault. No. Don’t talk.”, he shooshed the demon as he began to open his mouth to fight back. “At least here we’re safe and I know no one is going to take you away from me. It’s just us now.”

“I love you to.”, you mumble causing their heads to snap in your direction. Their hopeful eyes glance at each other as they pull you in closer, clinging to you and the moment.

#############

“I still think you should kill Carol.” You smirk to yourself at Eddie’s comment as you continue to fold the inventory in front of you at work.

“Or Dick, your boss. Just a lovely man that one.”, Steve follows grinning at you from his spot on the counter.

Off to the side you notice a tall, blond-haired gentleman glancing at things against the wall as if they were amusing. Disconnecting from your pestering defenders, you head towards the man and flash him your best customer service smile.

“Do you think if I steal these rings, the stone will let me keep them?”, the demon inquires to his friend as they wait for you to come back.

“Something’s wrong.” Eddie’s head turns to look at Steve who is now fully alert. “Something’s wrong. Something’s off.”

“What is?”

“Someone doesn’t belong here.”

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

When his piercing blue eyes meet yours, it takes your breath away as he grins back.

“What are these things for?”, he picks up a hat and places it on his head. “Are they just for style or do they serve a purpose?”

“A little bit of both, I think. It doesn’t hurt to look good while doing your day to day.”

The man’s head tilts as he chuckles, placing it back on the rack in front of him. “I swear, humans are so creative especially when they are trying to hide how miserable they actually are under falsities like a new hat.”

Your eyes widen at the word “human” as you slowly back away.

His grin grows as he extends his hand for you to shake. “Where are my manners? I’m Henry.”

You know that name. Where do you know that name?

Strong hands tug you back as both your demons place themselves protectively in front of you.

“How did you get here, Henry?”

The demon cackled as he leaned against the wall behind him.

“You weren’t the only one who knew how to hop realms, Steven. Truth be told I’ve been doing it for a while. I got myself a gig of my own that just so happened to lead me here.”

“Hm. Prince like you doesn’t have anything better to do?”

“Not after my princess was murdered.”

Eddie didn’t even try to hide his anger as his eyes glowed and he stepped forward before being stopped by his friend.

“Y/N?” You quickly turned your head, meeting your co workers concerned gaze. “Are you alright? You look…scared.”

The observation made Henry smile wider.

“Um, no. I’m alright…just not feeling well. I’ll be ok. Thank you.”

She hesitates for a moment before nodding and heading back to her section.

“Let’s go somewhere we can all talk without being interrupted.” The evil demon snapped his fingers as the four of you disappeared.

########

@tlclick73 @iaminlovewithdilfs @tiannamortis @steeldaisies

@goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @hellfire--cult @unfocused81

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a113cowgirl · 3 months

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Ok chat, do we think the Full Moon episode (the next Helluva Boss episode) is gunna end on a happy note or a sad/unsure note, in terms of Blitz/Stolas?

The writer in me says that it would be much higher value storytelling if it were to contain some hopeful moments, (pointing towards them moving towards a confession/officially being together) but not coming to a for-sure conclusion right away/by the end of the episode. A slow burn couple like this should take a lot of time and effort to reach its conclusion.

However, the viewer/shipper in me wants to get it right away, and I’m hoping that this show’s frequent storytelling failures will fail in this way specifically, so that we get the conclusion asap.💀

I worry that the scene in which Stolas gives Blitz the Osmodian Crystal will come at the very end of the episode, because having THAT happen, and then concluding the episode without showing Blitz’s response would be a killer cliffhanger to end on… but god I do not want that to happen. I want that scene to occur EARLY in the episode, and for the rest to contain scenes showing Blitz’s emotional response, if not his actual verbal response to Stolas. Perhaps a scene where he is pacing back and forth, rambling to a supportive character about what happened, and how he feels about it, and how conflicted he is. Something akin to when he was ranting about his situation with Stolas to Fizz in the cage scene, but maybe to Moxxie or Loona instead. Pacing in the office, wringing his neck, and ranting about how “is this his way of tricking me into thinking I’m choosing to be with him?! Does he expect me to come crawling back to him just because he put on this big fuckin romantic performance?!” “What, did he just RANDOMLY start having feelings for me sometime during this whole fucking arrangement?! Does he expect me to believe he left his wife because he fell in love with me, or some stupid shit?!” “…maybe… maybe he really did care.. this whole time… fuck, does he actually… love me..?”

Followed by Millie/Moxxie/Fizz/Loona encouraging him, which leads Blitz to go back to Stolas to ask questions/discuss everything, leading to a romantic conclusion and ending the episode on a happy note.

THAT is my ideal next episode’s outline, though i have no fuckin clue what the B plot would be, or even if this Stolitz storyline is the B plot of the episode. I would hope that the other plot, be it the A or B, would focus on Via. After all, she is the one who will be most affected by Blitz and Stolas becoming a couple.

Also, for those of you who have seen the leaked scenes for future/unreleased season 2 episodes… how do you think all of this will somehow lead to what happens in the season 2 finale…?

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smolvenger · 4 months

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A Court of Mischief and Purpose, Chapter Seventeen (Loki x fem! Reader Hiddlesverse Crossover Miniseries)

Series Summary: Based on Sarah J Mass's A Court of Thorns and Roses series with the Tom Hiddleston characters. You are a woman of 1880's in Aldwinter in Essex, England, dying of tuberculosis. Never to be married to the local Lusty Vicar. When Loki appears to you and offers to heal you...if you spend a week of every month with him

Chapter Summary: You have returned to Aldwinter. And begin to set plans for your revenge on Will.

Word Count: 6K

Warnings: Some spicy stuff but no actual smut (please forgive me, the chapters in this fic are long enough), mentions of cheating and portraying Will's cheating as bad I am very blatantly against the Will/Cora pairing in The Essex Serpent and it shows so if you like either character or the pairing, you have been warned. Mentions of sex and religion and violence and abandonment. Supporting Women's Wrongs.

A/N: Thanks to @muddyorbsblr for the brilliant ideas about how Reader could get her long due revenge and the great suggestions!

Also,

Happy New Years Eve! Instead of going to clubs and drinking and partying or being invited to a party, I'm spending it editing fanfiction. So this is to all of you out there who too feel a little lonely like me and like you should be out there doing partying and "normal" things...you aren't the only one, and I'm sending you a hug.

I hope you enjoy the start of the "next" season of Court after that cliffhanger! Leave a comment or reblog or send me an ask or dm if you especially liked it! Happy 2024!

Series Masterlist

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You could still recall your wedding with Loki.

It was night. The moons shone above. Stars sprinkled across the sky as people laughed and went out to restaurants and taverns. They weren’t the ones about to find a cauldron. They could go on in ignorance and always in safety.

But your own pulse was picking up as you held Loki’s hand. Excitement and nervousness.

You both walked into a temple, a building with a garland of roses over the door. For even gods still needed worshippers. Inside, there were two priests going about. An old man and a younger man in fine golden robes swept the floors. The younger one turned and gasped, tugging the sleeve of his sage.

They recognized Loki and both bowed.

“Ah, great prince and god of mischief, what brings you here?” the older one asked.

“I want you to marry us!” Loki announced.

Their jaws dropped, and the brown eyes of the old man grew large.

“Without the…the consent of the AllFather?” the older priest asked.

“No- I do not need it. I am not a child anymore. I am a man grown and this is the woman I want to marry.” Loki said, gesturing to you.

You walked over and placed a hand on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you.

“This is one order I give you, both as god and prince- Perform a marriage between me and Y/N. The Jotun Prophet says she is my True Love- always shall be. Don’t break the True Love Bond. Perform a marriage ceremony. I’ll reward you handsomely if you do.”

They relented. The Older Priest led you both to the large altar in the next room. It had a tall statue of Frigga smiling with outstretched hands from her gown’s sleeves. Firewood was brought to make a nice kindling blaze in the fireplace from the younger priest to the fireplace in the room.

The older priest gestured you both to You walked around it to the wooden table placed right before the statue. It was covered in runes in its tan wood. There was a small dagger, a cornucopia, and a tall, white candle that the elder priest lit with fire from the fireplace. The younger priest stood to bear witness, as well as holding a spare marriage contract for you both.

“The AllMother might feel a slight twinge in the air tomorrow, for marriage is part of her realm. But yet…if you are certain, then you are certain. Any last things you would like before we begin?” asked the older priest.

“It feels a little more like a lamb is about to be sacrificed than a wedding,” you shyly commented, for the Christian weddings of home were more what you were used to.

“The AllMother doesn’t like offerings of lamb!!” laughed the older priest.

“Here- let me make it more decorated, then,” Loki offered.

With a flick of his hand, there were flowers everywhere. Soft roses in bloom, their perfume a gentle caress in the air. They decorated the statue and the altar. Flower crowns were placed on the two priests, much to their amusement.

“Should I go back home and get that lacy bustle dress then? I know it’s your favorite” you teased Loki.

He gave you a small laugh, then lifted his hand and flicked it in the air.

Golden light came down from over your heads, he gave himself rich green robes with gold armor plates over his shoulders Both a prince and a groom.

You looked as the magic went over you and your clothes transformed on your body. You were given a long dress that was a soft blush pink to compliment his green. It shimmered when light touched it. It showed your shoulders but the sleeves were so long they draped to the floor, the way that a few of the queen’s dresses did. For that was what a woman of royalty wore. The bodice made a heart shape over your chest. On your head was a long veil that went down your back and onto the floor of sheer material, forming a beautiful train melting into a lacelike pattern. It made you look like you floated.

You smiled up at him.

“It’s beautiful, thank you!” you gasped.

Loki smiled, then nodded at the priest for him to begin.

You clasped hands. There was a prayer and some milk poured into a bowl and placed at the feet of the statue as an offering to Frigga..Loki conjured daggers for you both to trade, symbolizing how you would protect each other.

“Now, make your vows to each other,” signaled the Priest.

Loki held your hands. Though the priest whispered the words in his ear, he repeated it with sincerity.

"I, Loki, do swear before the AllFather and AllMother, take you to be my wife, my friend, my lover, and my companion. From this day until only death do us part. I pledge you my fidelity, refusing all others as long as we live. My softest words and tenderest embraces. I shall choose to respect you and choose to love you. In my bed and on my table. In battle and in peace. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. Day and night. From this hour, as long as we both live."

You took his hands and repeated what the priest whispered into your ear.

“I, Y/N, do swear before the AllFather and AllMother, to take you to be my husband, My friend, my lover, and my companion. From this day until death do us part. I pledge you my fidelity, refusing all others as long as we live. My softest words and tenderest embraces. I shall choose to respect you and choose to love you. In my bed and on my table. In battle and in peace. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. Day and night. From this hour, as long as we both live."

Then Loki’s magic brought up the ring- the very one you won from the Weaver’s cottage.

“That was why the Weaver thought I earned it…even she knew…” you wondered.

“She’s a matchmaker then, who knew,” Loki teased.

Loki placed it gently around your finger. He conjured a ring that you slipped through his finger.

There was a final prayer and chant. The younger priest brought forth the document which you both signed.

“Now seal it with a kiss- and all the nine realms shall consider you husband and wife,” announced The Older Priest.

You did, happily. Embracing each other and locking lips. They both smiled and applauded. Loki paid them generously with a conjured bag of coin.

You both were still holding hands as you hurried home. Your wedding gown and his shoulder plates glowing in the moonlight.

With the crowds around Asgard, you could slip by unnoticed. But you were smiling. He was red-cheeked, almost running and pulling you with him until you picked up your skirt and met his pace. You ran together back home at an equal speed. The thrill of being married at last soaring in your hearts.

You got home in your finery, clutching hands happily. At the entrance, no one came to meet you. The guards simply allowed you through, never asking questions.

“Husband…” you teased, tasting the word. Placing a hand on his warm chest. His eyes went big.

“In the older times, a marriage isn’t considered legal until it is consummated. Is Asgard…like that?” you asked with a slight giggle in your voice.

Loki took his hands around your waist.

“Better safe than sorry, then,” he agreed.

He scooped you easily into his arms and carried you right into his chambers. Taking you onto his green bed and laying you down.

He crawled on top of you and kissed you. Desire burned between your legs as he let in some of his tongue and touched your face, pulling you close. Hands greedily running down your body. Giggling you rolled over so he laid down and you were on top. The veil shimmered as it fell from your head into a melted, sparkly puddle on the floor. He let out a small gasp of surprise but laughed it off, his ivory face below you, his beautiful black curls splayed across the bed.

‘Now that we are wed, I’m going to make my wife scream with pleasure on our wedding night. And every night after that.”

His hands went to your hips, gripping the flesh beneath the cloth. You set yours on his broad shoulders.

“First I’ll have to spare your stallion and ride you instead!” you whispered.

“I love you, my wife… and princess,” he voiced.

“I love you too- prince and husband,” you said.

You began to grind him as he undid his own leather trousers. Then you pulled up your long skirts and began to sink onto his-

“O God, whose blessed Son was manifested that He might destroy the works of the devil and make us the children of God and heirs of eternal life:...”

The vicar’s voice broke you out of your memories.

That was just the past. And here you were in a familiar scene. The memory is still warm in your body though you were back in that sterile church.

“Grant us, we beseech thee, that, having this hope, we may purify ourselves even as he is pure…’ Will continued to intone, signaling the beginning of the service.

You were sitting dutifully on the front row next to your parents. Just as you did for a long time. You were back home in Aldwinter, but you did not feel like the same lovesick girl counting down the days to her wedding and smiling up at the vicar with love and even restrained lust.

No, you kept your eyes down to the checkered floor, hands positioned to pray. You wore a dark-colored dress, but you were not in mourning. You would paint the picture of piety and repentance here. Still aware of the eyes still on you. Of the gossip.

“She left our respectable rector for that god. Yet she’s back here and - bless him, he loves her! He’s going to marry Y/N anyway despite all of that! Despite her being ruined. Despite her betrayal,” was what they were whispering in their pews and parlors.

‘They got it wrong as to who ultimately betrayed who. Twice.’ you thought. But you held back that part of you in your head. It was rather talkative lately, but you knew better than to utter a word of your true thoughts.

You looked about. There was the old chandelier that hung up with unlit candles. You wondered how they stayed on. What would happen if one were to fall? Would it hit someone?

To your amusement, you realized one hung over where Will was standing. You wished you could make a candle fall to hit him on the curly auburn head. It would have been funny, even the congregation would laugh. But you didn’t.

It deserved to be a knife aimed at his skull instead.

Everyone kept their heads down, though sometimes a pair of eyes would meet yours.

You were back. You told them- your family, old friends, and neighbors- little of what happened. As far as they knew, you were enchanted. But the spell was broken. Yhat you were returned safely- to pray, repent, and process all that happened with Loki…

And sometimes you did. The things you never imagined you would see or do when you went to Asgard. You thought you would live a plain little life in a plain little town and that you were content to do so. Did they know that you learned how to wield swords and daggers? That you were blessed with magic? Of the people you met from other worlds and timelines and planets? Stole belongings or helped in their stealing? Escaped death multiple times? Fought? Even killed? That you found new friendships with queens, princes, and warrior women? Seen aliens? Been to a ball? Met gods and learned to love one and was even married to him?

Now- here you were. In your old clothes and old church. Did those grand adventures even happen at all?

You knew they did.

There were a few extra faces in the pews. For some in town were surprised by an influx of men who built small houses and stayed nearby. Some women were thrilled for a bunch of new bachelors and hoped for marriage with one of them. They all said they were part of a construction company and factory that was nearby…when really they were of Grendel’s army. Bullies and monsters, all of them. And it was none other than Will who agreed with Grendel to let them stay in the town…if Grendel got you back here to him.

Will’s sermon continued as normal. He seemed happy as he began to discuss Paul’s book of Romans. Once you would have sat up in rapt attention. But you could hardly pay attention to it anymore. He seemed like a ghost in his long white robes. He wore a long blue sash draping down his shoulders trimmed with gold with symbols on the ends. He smiled brightly as he stood before the congregation, folding his hands so they disappeared from his robe’s sleeves.

You heard the voice of your husband through the bond.

'I’m going to kill him,' Loki said clearly in your head.

'Not yet,' you replied.

'I’m going to get out my dagger, and stab him right where he is.'

'Loki, please, don't'

'Then I’m ripping a portal to this church, slinging you over my shoulder, and carrying my wife out of this place. Right. Now.'

'Loki, I wish you could- but consider: they're watching. The whole town is watching and not just now! Everyone is obsessed and looking for you. My parents keep the doors to the house locked except for when I go on my daily walk. Everyone has purchased a weapon. They’re searching like madmen for you in Aldwinter. It’s not safe for you to just barge in.'

Now people discussed the Trickster god who kidnapped and ravished women more than the Serpent that was just a dead whale. They searched everywhere. Children played games and whispered about him. One thought they saw him in the woods. Another thought they saw him in the marshes. People kept close eyes on their daughters- he took first you, then Stella twice, and who knew which lady would be next?

One day, there was a rowboat on the river in town. It nearly ran into another rowboat. And no fishing nets were inside.

“What are you out here for?” one rowman asked.

“Lookin’ for the Trickster god! He was sighted here, wasn’t he?” answered the other boat’s first rowman.

“Blast it, not if I find and shoot him first!” said another rowman from the other boat.

‘But, my dear pet-’ Loki continued to sigh.

‘No- I don’t want you to. Besides, even if you could quickly get me out, I don’t want to leave yet…not without seeing to it that Will is punished’ you sent to him.

'You do deserve revenge, Loki agreed “So I should turn into a cat again, trot up to him purring, and then jump out and stab him.'

'Loki, it is a habit of men to avenge women they love who were wronged. It is in many stories- it is always the woman who suffers and dies horribly because of a villain’s sins and it is not her, but the man who is allowed to live to avenge her. Those writers don’t understand we ladies are perfectly capable of exacting our own revenges. I would like to do it. I am the person Reverend Ransome has wronged most of all. If anyone should do the stabbing, it should be me.'

'Then get a knife and throw it towards him in church!' Loki suggested.

'No! He will duck and it shall be me who goes into jail and shall be killed, not him. I can’t just murder him willy-nilly and with no certain escape or sanctuary. I must be careful with this if I am to get away with it.'

Part of you was impressed by him. Making a deal for your safe return at least, done by a man whose heart couldn’t be settled on one woman. You were keeping your simmering rage at bay. You took a look at the church, you noticed the walls that seemed blue-green in the overcast sky when they were really white. The light brown pews and the table with a tall wooden cross on it with two candles between. The three chandeliers. The two windows that overlooked everyone were like eyes.

When you burned Aldwinter to the ground, the church would be first.

No, no you couldn’t. Why should so many innocent people suffer because of one man’s decisions? You had to figure out how to exact revenge on the reverend Will Ransome, in a way that would affect him and only him. And in a way that no one would suspect it was you.

The service continued on as normal. Though you were always in a half-sleepy, silent daze now instead of at attention, doing every repetition of prayers and singing each hymn and crossing yourself soberly.

Sunday evening, as always, a nice dinner was made for Will, your fiancee and guest. It was as if the letter you wrote to him ending things was never sent.

It was the same picture. Everyone sitting down in your house. Napkins draped across laps as forks and knives clinked with plates. The smell of the meal wafting- your mother’s roast with salad and bread and potatoes. Laughter and chatter.

You would make a smile appear on your face, eating politely and quietly.

Then your father made one clap and rubbed his hands, looking at you and Will.

“Now- let us discuss the wedding! Do you have a date selected, my dears?” he asked.

“We have discussed about the wedding a little more…” Will began.

‘But I’m already married,’ you thought, glancing down at the emerald ring always on your finger.

Then again, Will wasn’t known for respecting the boundaries of marriage.

The Lusty Vicar placed a hand over yours and held it.

“We will reschedule the wedding for next month,” Will suggested. His blue eyes shined to you. “Then, my angel, I shall finally call you my wife.”

‘I would rather the Serpent become real and devour me,’ you thought.

“It shall be lovely,” you replied with a small smile.

“We shall have a wedding- free of interruptions and no sickness and no spells. It shall be simpler, mind you- we all know how much the first one cost,” your mother added.

“A big wedding doesn’t matter as long as it’s with a good man who truly loves you,” you commented.

Will again looked at you softly. He spoke with a smoothness, almost a seductive tone, like when he proposed to you. Not caring the others were there. In fact, they enjoyed it.

“It was God who told me you were to be my bride, Y/N.”

‘But God didn’t tell me.’ you thought. You only looked up at him and smiled.

“And we shall spend our lives fulfilling His word together,” he continued.

‘Did God also tell you to stick your fingers up Cora’s-’

“Oh, how beautiful! To see you finally married off to this godly, lovely man!” your mother sighed out loud.

“I am the happiest woman in Essex, ” you replied.

He kissed your hands and left back home.

“Y/N, now that you are a parsonage bride, be sure to attend to your duties at the church tomorrow. You must become used to them,” your mother reminded you.

One idea hit you. A small step.

Revenge you realized, was similar to cooking or baking. When one has a recipe, there are all sorts of small ingredients to gather, steps to take, and things to measure and mix. Small steps. They don’t seem like much at first, but bit by bit, they became something bigger, grander.

“Yes, mother. I shall,” you replied dutifully.

The next afternoon, the church was empty. Only Will and a few others planning out events in the meeting room. You had to help keep it tidy and check plans for Sunday School, for you were now going to join as another volunteer teacher for the children. As you looked over the lesson plans with the other teachers, you reached out your powers through your gifts. Searching. Would they be where they were last…

They reached his office. To what was under his desk.

No box. And no personal mail.

The letters from Cora were not in his office, you realized. That would take some searching.

But another thing was near his office- the church treasury kept in a safe in the next room.

Another step to your revenge.

One of the benefits of being a vicar was that while a clergyman received some of the tithes, a vicar got all of them.

Of course, some of it went to support his own church and ministry as well as put bread on the table. Will was probably discussing the budget with them from the Sunday tithes.

Finishing the Sunday School lesson planning was done.

Your senses told you the room with the safe was empty.

The old woman who taught the children’s Sunday school chattered on. Usually, women could teach children and other women. It was rare for a woman to teach a Sunday School class that included men. You got up. Saying you were going to get a glass of water and to wait for the Reverend, excuse me.

No one was in the hall. You quickly hurried in, your steps soft. To not click on the floors. Your powers unlocked the door and you stepped in. The plain brown room with a plain grey safe.

Quickly, your senses managed to unlock it. Opening up to numerous checks and huge wads of cash and coins in baskets.

You got out a few things of cash. Taking off your shoe, you slipped it beneath your foot and then retied it on. You then locked it back. Quickly walking away. You went over to the church kitchens to get your glass of water and sip on it in one of the parlors, your eyes down in innocence.

When you got home, you sat down in your chair, claiming you were tired and needed to rest. You looked at the blue gloves you had been knitting recently. Your eyes focused, your powers embracing it. You let it rip open and then reattach, sewn back together easily.

You removed your shoes and got out the cash.

You took the money and placed it in a blank envelope. Oh, how you wished you could recreate handwriting! Then you would forge Will signing it! But you could not, as much as you practiced. That would have given you away.

So at night, when no one was around, no one walking the streets, you briefly slipped the letter under your door. Then you went back to continue to knit more gloves as your parents read.

'Move' you commanded the letter silently.

And it did- it began to drift through the dirt road. You sensed where Mrs. Seaborne resided and directed the letter there as it floated through the ground as if a breeze moved it.

'Go to her house, slip it under the door,' you commanded it.

Quietly as a firefly. It located the house of a certain widow and slipped it under the door.

Your parents then said you would have to read the Bible more, to prepare for your marriage, and gave you a new copy they had bought. You turned to the Old Testament book of Judges and silently read some as they continued their own post-dinner activities by candlelight.

You poured over one story in that book. There was once a tyrant named Sisera who had long oppressed the Hebrew people. After his army lost a decisive battle with the Hebrew forces, he fled like a coward. He discovered a tent where who should be there, but only an ordinary housewife named Jael. She knew what he had done. She let Sisera have her food and sleep there as a guest, promising him that he was safe. Then as he slept, she got out a tent peg and killed him by hammering it through his skull.

You wondered why there weren’t more sermons discussing Jael. Why many never even spoke of her. Or perhaps even knew of her.

So every day you sat, sewed, obeyed your parents and fiancee, and prayed and bided your time. You had to seem like Jael- an innocent, dutiful, pleasant woman who would only do what was asked of her. Then, when the time was right, you would drive the peg through the skull of your Sisera.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Will loved to take long walks in the mornings. Especially through the fields, the forests, and by the sea. You realized each day you sensed him. They were like clockwork-mid morning after breakfast. Then he would go out for at least an hour. If not two.

That would be the perfect time to find the letters.

The next morning, you said you were out to walk and take care of some errands. Your parents thought nothing of it but wished you well. You walked out.

You walked into the town and through. Careful that none were watching you. You knew where it was. You had been there one night before.

There it was- the tall white house, the vicarage. There was a large, plain backyard save for the little house made of sticks for the dog to sometimes rest in.

The dog was already outside, leased to the house for safety as his keeper was out. The sweet, brown terrier. He went up to you, wagging his tail, for he knew you. You got him little treats of bread from your pocket that you fed to him, so he would be happy and not bark up a storm. No more than what would alert any passerbyes. After petting him for some time, you got back up to go to the vicarage.

Your powers unlocked the door and you went inside. Now you weren’t as clouded with emotion, you could look about the place.

It was light tan wood on the inside. There was a kitchen with an empty table and vase. A little fireplace. A parlor by the windows with cushions where one could watch the outside.

It was a large house. The right size for a man who was expected to start a family.

You turned past one door, peeking inside, and you saw a bedroom. A large blue bed, neatly made.

To think, that was where the wedding night that never happened would have taken place…

Then you continued, you felt odd. Nostalgic for something you never experienced…a life you never lived, had wanted to live, and in a way, still wanted to live.

There was his study. The wallpaper on it was green, full of vines, leaves, flowers, and even birds all over. Beautiful and elaborate. There was a window where sunlight poured through the window over his desk sat. Looking out to the countryside outside. There was an oil lamp where one just turned and there it was. So many papers and journals on his desk, yet in neat piles. But most impressive in his room were the bookshelves. His study was almost a library in itself- tall bookshelves. Full of books, more than you could name. It was likely they all were books of theology or even history or anything having to do with his ministry and studies.

You looked about, pausing and smelling the musk of the place. The beautiful wallpaper. The impressive collection of books.

You could almost feel it like wearing an old shirt- the life you once had. A life that was also within your grasp again. A life where you would live in this house as Mrs. Ransome.

To sit in that bed knitting next to him as he read. To sleep beside him and with him. To fulfill your marital duties at night with quiet passion. A life where you planned the activities the children would do in Sunday school on your kitchen table. Sew up white angel costumes for the Christmas pageant every year. To go and stand by his side helping to bring out alms on a day of charity.

Sweeping and scrubbing all day instead of intense physical training. No worries about Grendel, but of making sure the dinner would be warm when he got home.

One where you would gather flowers from your garden to plop into that vase, making them look nice. A life where you would fix tea and lemon biscuits, and deliver them on a tray to him in his study as he wrote his next sermon. To give it to him and he would smile up from his papers. A life where you would sit by the fire sewing, discussing whatever sermon was coming up next with him as he made notes. Plan recipes for the newest church dinner or picnic coming up and talk to him about who was making what. Picking pastel wallpaper for a certain special room in the future for both of you. Holding hands in the middle of services.

No quests, adventures, or fighting. A quiet life, a domestic, peaceful life. A life you could no longer have. A life no longer accessible -and a life you knew you could no longer let yourself want.

Your powers reached and you found you were correct in your suspicions.

The second desk drawer on the left side. The locked one.

Your powers unlocked it and it jiggled open. There inside were letters. The love letters from Cora to the Lusty Vicar.

Because he wasn’t known as the Faithful Vicar.

Though it made your heart race and your stomach turn, you picked up the letters and began to skim through some of them. You couldn’t take all of them or he would be immediately suspicious. You had to select only a limited number of them- so they had to be the most damning ones.

You turned past one discussing the Serpent to a piece of paper with Will’s handwriting on it. A draft of a letter to respond to her.

“I apologize for not writing, there was too much to say. I cannot think straight around you. I love you, Cora.”

Love- Love! He was sure it was love! You noticed the rest of it was full of scribbled-out words.

Then you found the next one from Cora. Two words in it stood out to you and nearly made you drop the paper.

“Come quickly.”

She was asking Will to leave you for her! The shock made the letter tremble in your hands and your vision went dizzy at the edges.

“Come quickly.”

Your mind then raced, imagined, as minds do… spiraling further in its self-destructive cycle of imagination. Will told you he wouldn’t leave you…he also said he loved you. Said that he still loved you…

“Come quickly.”

What if you already married Will…and he ran off with Cora?

You imagined the scene.

You could see it already in this house. You would be doing your daily duties humming a cheerful song. Refreshing the vase in the kitchen with flowers. Planning ingredients for dinner.

The day turned to evening…and realizing he was taking longer with his church duties than normal. Wondering if something happened. Already missing him as you dusted off the countertops. Full of happy memories of him in your earlier days of marriage. The light brown kitchen where he’d lay a gentle hand on your shoulder in fondness as you stirred the soup. The doorways you teased that he was too tall for. Looking through the dinner you were going to make that night.

Panic bubbled lightly as the sun dipped down and the day became night.

You would finally wander into his study. The light shining orange from his lamp…. There, on the table was a letter addressed to you from him. You would reach for it and read it.

“My dear wife, I am in love with Cora Seaborne. I cannot think straight around her…with her, there is too much to say. I am going with her. I ask for your blessing. I will make sure you are taken care of. Thank you, for your dear blessing on us and for our love.” Will.”

And enclosed were several bills of cash money.

For he knew a married woman could not submit a check at the bank, then the money would go to her husband.

And now, your husband was gone.

The utter shock. Rereading it to make sure it was real, that this nightmare was real. The rage. The tears. The brokenness washing over you. How you would shake. Holding onto his desk for support. Until your legs gave out- how you would collapse, sobbing. Those three little words that would feel like a kick over and over: “for our love.”

Then, you would wander into another room—the pastel one. For by now, there would likely be an occupant.

A little baby in a cradle.

A nursery decorated with the theme of Noah’s Ark. A painting of the wooden boat and of doves with twigs in their beaks on the wall. Full of little animal toys going two by two. Specially decorated for this child’s arrival.

To look down at the little infant in its cradle. So lovingly swaddled safe and warm. A child who was half you and half Will.

On one hand, perhaps it would be worse if he took the child with him. A child you would never know if you would see again, for a husband could deny his wife access to their children. The law saw the child as Will’s, not yours.

And he already found a new replacement, a new wife for him, and a new mother to this child.

It was as if you never mattered in the first place.

But now, the child would be babbling and looking around. Then it would burst into tears, for it missed the cradling arms of its father. You would shush it and try to rock it. Call their name, sing a lullaby in a broken, crying voice, and kiss their forehead- the last reminder of Will you’d always have by you.

To think, once this child was old enough, you would have to look them in the eye and explain why Papa wasn’t around like the other Papas were with their children, even if Papa was a priest. That Papa loved Mama…but he wasn’t in love with Mama.

How you would cradle that child to your chest, walking through the rain, the letter in your pocket. Trudging to your parents home in the middle of a rainstorm in the night. Knocking on the door. They’d open. Seeing a sobbing baby and a sobbing mother.

To tell them what happened. You couldn’t imagine what they would say, would do. They wouldn’t have the heart to even turn you down. But perhaps people would talk.

Maybe you didn’t cook as well. Maybe you were mad and had to be sent to an asylum. Maybe you weren’t as pretty as Cora. Or as interesting or clever. Maybe you didn’t pleasure Will enough in his bed and the Lusty Vicar had to be satiated somehow.

You would not be able to file a divorce. A husband who had an affair and now abandoned you was not the legal grounds for a wife to divorce a husband.

In the eyes of both God and the Law, you were still William Ransome’s wife.

Now…you had to stay married to him until only Death did you part or he decided to initiate a divorce. Even though you were the upright, godly, proper vicar’s wife…the law would not be on your side. Not as a woman.

To wait. For envelopes that had letters- and especially money. To live at the mercy of those envelopes. Hoping the cash would be enough. For food, for warm clothes for your child- no his child, for by the law, the child belonged to the father, not the mother. The humiliation, the pain, the loneliness.

All because Will and Cora were in love.

And all because a stupid whale carcass was what brought them together in the first place!

You wanted to take that lamp that sat at his desk and throw it at the wall until it shattered into a million pieces. You wanted to tear at that letter. Topple the bookshelves and rip apart every last book that belonged to Father William Ransome. Do every violent thing to destroy that room in a rage. To run to Cora’s house armed with a cane like what men and old people used to walk with. For it was she who wrote that letter in the first place. Ready to beat the tar out of her until she-

But no…that wasn’t real. That didn’t happen. This was real, you reminded yourself. You were just sitting in his office with shaking hands.

‘I am not the Unwanted Wife of Aldwinter…I am the Princess of Asgard. Loki loves me, he says I’m beautiful, that I am enough for him- that I am great and awe-inspiring…he is who matters now. I am. Beautiful, powerful, and dangerous. I have the Aesir people, the servants of the palace, the warriors, and the army and legion of Asgard at my disposal- and I shall strike into Will and Cora until they plead for the mercy I will never give them,’ you reminded yourself.

Your senses reached out again and you found old documents from when Will was granted the vicarage and position. You memorized the names of those who appointed him. You searched thoroughly until you found papers with the address of the seminary that appointed him. Taking a scrap piece of paper on the desk and his pen, you wrote their names, as well name of their building and its address. You wrote it down and then hid it in your stocking.

And you had to hurry- what if he decided to return soon? Your senses told you he was still walking outside…but you would not tempt fate.

Taking in a shaky breath, you returned the draft of his letter- you could take it. But if it was missing, he would suspect something was afoot. You set the draft down.

You planned to take two to damn Will. Instead, you took three love letters- including the “come quickly” letter. For she was going to be punished already as harshly as he.

You stuffed them into the pockets of your skirt.

You promptly left the vicarage back to town, taking a path that made it less suspicious you came directly from there.

You did a little grocery shopping, and returned, saying you had to walk to clear your head- you had a nightmare last night. About Loki. You poured a few tears and they fixed you some tea in consolation, telling you that your enchantment and the dreadful act of warming his bed was all over.

Then, once you were alone in your room, You took out the letters from your clothes and hid them your copy of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, which you kept firmly in your personal bookshelf.

They were ingredients left to simmer until boiling. You had the evidence and the first address to send one to. You now had to figure out where to send the other two to bring them down.

54 notes · View notes

inbarfink · 5 months

Text

Alrighty, friends, it’s time for a lil project I’ve been working on for a while now. It’s time for…

MY VERY BIG ZIM VS. DIB SCOREBOARD

I am going to go through all of the (finished) episodes of Invader Zim that feature both Zim and Dib (at least two lines of dialogue from each, so that I won’t have to worry about weird edge-cases like “Bestest Friends” or “Abducted”) and count which of these two won at that specific confrontation/misadventure. Each episode is worth a point, a two-parter is worth two points (since they tend to be higher-stakes).

I will give them both a point if they both equally won and I won’t give any points at all if they both lost… but I am only going to use it in true tie/no win situations. Most ‘Zim vs Dib’ episodes have some elements of both of them losing on some level. If only because their main goals - conquer the planet and unmask Zim to the world - can never actually happen without breaking the status-quo of the show. So I am going to do my best to judge, like, their goals for that specific episode, and how humiliated and/or hurt they got, or at least which one of them lost the least at any given episode.

I will also be judging the win/lose situation while taking the conclusion of the episode at face value. Because Invader Zim loves its implausible snapbacks where a character dies or ends up at a seemingly-impossible cliffhanger situation at the end of an episode - and then the next one starts with everything back to normal again. After some deliberation, I decided to still take into account obviously-not-going-to-remain-in-continuity losses as losses. So if Dib fucking dies at the end of an episode, that would still be a Victory for Zim, even if obviously he would be back in the next episode.

Okay, so let’s start! With the start!

"The Nightmare Begins"

This one is pretty clear cut. Zim wasn’t even trying to take over the world yet, just to blend in. And he pretty much succeeded in that goal, while Dib failed to capture him and lost the ‘Alien Sleep Cuffs’ in the process.

I was maybe considering if Zim's little ‘MY SPINE!’ right as the episode ended could change the score. But I think this is just a minor-yet-painful injury, rather than an Implied-Reset-Comedy-Death. And I think for both of them this matters less than Zim successfully or unsuccessfully fulfilling his missions.

So the first two points (since this is a double-length) go to Zim!

"Nanozim"

So here we have our first classic Mutually Assured Failure situation with these two. They both failed in their overarching goals in that episode. Dib lost those pictures of Zim for good, and Zim failed to rid himself of Dib for good. Buuut, I think Zim got a lot more Physical Pain

And got a lot more thoroughly humiliated in his defeat

So I am counting this as a point for Dib!

"Parent Teacher Night"

Yet another episode where Zim is only concerned with maintaining his cover. Since this is preserving the status quo of the show, I think they’ll inevitably skew in his favor. While stuff got kinda hectic and embarrassing for Zim a couple of times, he did successfully convince everyone that the Robo-Parents are his parents.

And Dib got in trouble for throwing punch.

So this point goes to Zim!

"Dark Harvest"

Zim got away with every horrible disgusting thing he did in this episode, successfully maintained his cover and

Yeah, point to Zim.

"The Wettening"

At first I thought this was going to be a point for Zim since he pretty much unambiguously won that water balloon fight.

But that’s where my ‘take the endings of the episode at face value’ rule comes into play, because Zim drowned in his toilet and died at the end of the episode!

Zim: Help! My head is stuck! GIR! Help! I can't breathe, I…

So for literally being the Last Man Standing in the conflict, Dib technically wins this round!

"Career Day"

More Mutually Assured Defeat!

Dib thoroughly failed to demonstrate to Bill that Zim is an alien, but while Zim successfully maintained his cover - he still got fired from McMeaties, which torpedoed his then-current world-domination schemes.

Zim: 8 billion! That is more than the entire population! And they all serve McMeatie? If I rule McMeaties… I rule the world!

(I mean obviously that wouldn’t have actually worked but.... to be honest, I suspect that even if Dib did get Bill to personally witness Zim’s molt it wouldn’t have helped him either. They were both kinda running fool’s errands in that episode, I think. Dib’s self-delusion was just more subtle.)

I mulled over it for a while, and I decided this is probably our first true ‘No Points Either Way’ Episode! Congratulations, boys, you both lost!

"Planet Jackers"

Zim fully achieved the goal he was working towards in this episode - rescuing the Earth from the Planet Jackers. While this is technically something Dib would’ve also wanted if only he had believed Zim, I am not going to give Dib any points - because Dib basically missed out on the ego-boost he gets every time he successfully defends the Earth.

Plus, the Moon crashing into the Earth at the end there is probably not something Zim would be worried about - who cares if a few million humans die as long as the planet’s still here for him to conquer! But it might bother Dib a little bit. You know if he was aware of it.

"Rise of the Zitboy"

Zim successfully got the information he needed to improve his security system, while Dib was left without the blindspot he planned on using and he needed to clean up all of the disgusting alien pus all on his own. The point goes to Zim.

"Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy"

Look, yeah, Dib did get beat up by the Lawn Gnomes by the end of that episode. And I’m sure that hurts. But you know what I bet probably hurt more?

Having your brain teleported out of your body!

PAK or no, I think that warrants counting Dib as having lost the Least in that episode, and so the point goes to him!

"A Room With a Moose"

While it was a tad humiliating, Dib did still manage to successfully save the lives of himself and his classmates. I mean, even Zim knows that he lost. Which is not that common for him.

Zim: No! The moose has failed me!

So that’s another point to Dib!

"Hamstergeddon"

While Zim’s evil scheme did not go as he planned, it did still cause a lot of death and destruction for the human race - which he is always in favor of. He managed to get rid of Ultra-Peepi before he actually caused damage to his base and got away with everything scot-free. And while Dib also wanted Ultra-Peepi gone, he did also get humiliated and ignored and placed in the Crazy Bucket. Point goes to Zim.

"Bloaty's Pizza Hog"

Gaz: There, see, you won. Eat your pizza.

Can’t argue with that logic! Point to Dib!

"Door to Door"

So while Zim technically won the fundraiser, it is important to remember what Dib’s actual goals were for competing with Zim in the fundraiser to begin with.

Dib: The only reason I'm selling this dirt in a wrapper is to watch you fail at something else, Zim!

The only reason that he wanted to win, is because he wanted to see Zim get humiliated. And he surely got his wish by the way the episode ended.

Plus he got that handy box of [Adhesive Medical Strips]! Point to Dib!

"Bolognius Maximus"

Both lost, zero points each.

"Battle of the Planets"

Okay, so we have a classic example of the ‘Dib foils Zim’s attempts to take over the world, Zim foils Dib’s attempt to expose him’ runaround, but I think in this context - with Zim sustaining a lot more physical injuries -

And Dib actually getting to meet an ally in this episode -

That this is a victory for Dib! A two-point victory for a two-parter!

"Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom"

While the two were basically working towards the same overall goal in that episode despite their constant double-crosses (get back home safely, foil the Halloweenies’ invasion plan) and those two goals were achieved by the end…

Zim still ended that adventure with a broken skeleton (according to himself)

Zim: As soon as my skeleton stops being broken, I'm going to destroy you, Dib.

While Dib ended up seemingly totally unharmed and with a lollipop for his troubles! Two more points to Dib!

"Mysterious Mysteries"

Zim successfully maintained his cover, got Dib publicly humiliated on national television and made even LESS likely that Dib will ever be invited on MM ever again. Point goes to Zim!

"Future Dib"

Well, Dib did at least successfully foil Zim’s plan to basically destroy all life on Earth. Buuut… he ends that episode still captured, with Gaz not really giving a shit about saving him, and implicitly tormented by a monkey for Zim’s amusement for the rest of his natural life.

Obviously that gets reset by the next episode but like I said, I’m not taking those into account. The point goes to Zim!

"Walk For Your Lives"

Well, Zim’s plan succeeded… but that just means that he failed. His actual goal was to impress the Tallests for Probing Day and obviously he did not manage to do that at all.

And Dib also failed since he was trying to warn others and stop Zim. And… I think the implication at the end of the episode is that he probably died, with "you jerk!" as his last words. While Zim is burned, but alive and well. So… Zim does still win this one by default! Truly Zim’s most incredible talent is being able to pull a technical victory out of the most thoroughly embarrassing situations.

"Megadoomer"

Yet another Mutually Assured Failure. Zim failed to kill Dib again, Dib failed to expose Zim again. They both lost the devices they were planning to use to achieve this goal (the Megadoomer exploded and Dib lost his camera to a random bird) and yet they still both claimed victory.

But thinking about the little details… While Dib ‘liked that camera’ it is probably a bit more replaceable than the Megadoomer was. And Dib was at least physically unharmed through that whole encounter, while Zim got crushed by a giant hunk of metal. So the point goes to Dib!

"Lice"

Well, Dib was pretty embarrassed to discover that the Lice Queen was real and he was forced to admit he was wrong and apologize…. But Zim got gruesomely skinned alive

AND as an added bonus, his pain is only going to lead to humanity being better equipped to deal with the lice menace. Which obviously he’d hate. Point to Dib for Suffering Less in that episode!

"Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom"

At first, I kinda debated what to do about this episode. Because while it’s true that Zim accomplished the goal he was trying to achieve in that episode and Dib seems to feel pretty humiliated at the end of the whole ordeal…

There’s no doubt that this whole scheme was an extremely flagrant misuse of resources and - since we know that at the very least the Meekrob’s planet exist and that the fact about the Massive’s side pods is accurate

Dib: The Massive; the armada capital ship. The side pods are filled with snacks. It's their weak spot.

Lard Nar: Ahem, well… If we can just knock a hole in one of the side storage pods, we can steal the snacks that fall out to feed the growing resistance.

Zim actually revealed to Dib some actual dangerous tactical information about the Irken Empire’s weaknesses.

However, I mulled that over and I decided that

If I were to penalize Zim every time his scheme is a stupid/humiliating misuse of resources then this actually applies to almost every Zim vs. Dib episode actually. The question is whatever or not Zim accomplished his goals, rather than if there was a more practical way to accomplish them because the answer to that second question is pretty much always ‘yes’

The fact Dib has technically gotten some useful tactical information from that little simulation has literally never come up again in the actual Invader ZIm canon. As far as we know, he just literally forgot to write it down and now he has no idea.

So yeah, that point still goes to Zim. Even if by a very small margin.

"Tak: The Hideous New Girl"

I was considering making this our first ‘both of them get a point!’ (or well, two points, since this is a double-length episode) since they were both working towards the same goal of protecting the Earth from Tak and they both succeeded!

But… I think I am actually going to give these points to Dib, because Zim only managed to preserve his Status Quo. Dib actually made progress. Between finally getting a good look at Zim’s base, and getting some more info on the Empire

Dib: Your leaders are just taller than everyone else?

And, of course, getting one fun little gift at the end.

"Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars"

The entire gimmick of this episode is Zim having just so many things to worry about at once. He’s got this new Brain Parasite scheme, and he’s trying to bring the Tallests to Earth to check it out, and he’s trying to wrangle up the Robo-Parents and maintain his cover. And by the end of the episode, he only really succeeded in ‘maintaining his cover’ and even that just by the technicality that most Humans in this world are just so stupid and apathetic that he just shouldn’t have bothered probably. By the end of the episode the Robo-Parents are still running wild, his Brain Parasite plan has gone to hell and his plans for the Massive have gone wrong in every possible way.

Now, Dib has also suffered some losses in this episode - the spy-bug in Zim’s base got disabled and the activation of Tak’s Personality in her ship is obviously a huge drawback to that whole plan of repairing it and making it his own. Buuut… at least he didn’t get his brain eaten. So I think he at least won this round. Two more points to Dib!

"Mortos Der Soul Stealer"

While Zim got himself Touched by a Smelly Human and lost a few of his genetically-engineered rodents - the implication seems to be that he has more and this is at best a minor setback to his plan. Meanwhile, Dib didn’t just lose the chance to use basically a magical superweapon against Zim - he also lost a lot of money and then got arrested.

So yeah, the point goes to Zim.

"Zim Eats Waffles"

Nothing about Dib’s plan to expose Zim in that episode worked in his favor and ended with his entire computer being smashed up by Cyborg Zombie Soldiers Created by a Giant Flesh-Eating Demon Squid. Meanwhile, while Zim forgot his Evil Plan for the day - the fact that he sent these aforementioned Cyborg Zombie Soldiers after humanity has got to count for something. Plus he ate some waffles! Point to Zim!

"The Girl Who Cried Gnome"

While both Zim’s attempt to utilize the Moofy Media Storm for his own humanity-destruction plans and Dib’s attempt to do the same in order to expose Zim have thoroughly failed - Zim literally ends this episode whistling ‘If You Happy And You Know It’ as he torments Dib while he is stuck in his yard indefinitely.

Yeah, Zim won that round as well.

"Dibship Rising"

Okay so that episode ends with the Dibship throwing Zim to the horizon. And then he saves Dib’s life.... only to leave Dib stuck in the cesspool for hours as he recounts every embarrassing thing that happened to him before the ship can properly delete his own personality.

But while this seems to be a pretty humiliating and kinda uncomfortable (“the smell’s getting to me”) situation for Dib. I… think that being thrown to that distance would still probably hurt more. Plus, Dib did still make progress with the Ship since he successfully deleted Tak’s personality (I mean that didn’t stick with the Comic and Florpus Canons but we’re not even looking at those today, so…)

Point to Dib!

"Vindicated!"

Zim: Sad little Dib! No more ally and no more proof!

Yeah, Point to Zim.

"The Voting of the Doomed"

This one’s actually kinda hard. So… Dib’s plan succeeded and Zim’s failed - but that just means Zim was spared from becoming a brainwashed pawn of the school board. But is it more humiliating that you worked so hard for a plan that only ended up saving your enemy? Or that you worked so hard for a plan that would’ve doomed you if not for the intervention of your enemy?

Both Zim and Dib seem to assume it’s the former, so, yeah, point to Zim!

"Gaz, Taster of Pork"

While not inflicted by Zim, Dib sure had his fair share of Suffering in that episode. Meanwhile, as far as we can tell, Zim’s Exploding Monkeys Plan went off without a hitch. I mean, Dib or not Dib, I’m sure Zim can find a way to mess it up all on his own - but that was still probably less humiliating than

Yeah, so Zim kinda wins the two points by default.

"The Frycook What Came From All That Space"

So despite going through a lot of painful and grueling and humiliating things in this episode - Zim still won at the end, he still achieved everything he wanted to do: escape Foodcourtia, return to Earth and resume his mission.

Meanwhile, Dib once again failed to convince anyone Zim is an alien

And his attempt to use Zim’s absence to gather information from the Tallests seems to have been thoroughly derailed.

So I think this point goes to Zim!

"The Most Horrible X-mas Ever"

So… Zim's plan has failed and derailed into a threat to himself more than anything - only to be saved by Dib (who earned some sort of Bonding Moment with his dad in the meantime) and together, they (but mostly Dib) throw Santa into space. And then Dib gives a heartfelt speech.

.....And then Zim convincely impersonates the Easter Platypus and incites an angry mob against Dib.

This is probably the episode I mulled over the most, and not just because it’s the last one. I was really unsure if I should prioritize everything Dib has accomplished in the episode - or Zim for getting the last laugh… literally!

But I think, after some deliberation, that yeah, those last two points go to Zim. It was kind of a close-call, but by the end of the episode banishing Santa was a victory for both of them and inciting a mob against the other is something they would both find a meaningful victory - so I think it’s got to count for something???

Final Score:

Zim: 22

Dib: 17

And now I can quite honestly say

VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM!

(But also, like, I think Dib got a pretty good score too. Especially considering his reputation as a universal butt monkey, that gap could’ve been a lot larger. I mean if we counted ‘Enter the Florpus’ as.. by my logic like seven points we’d have a total turnabout)

And of course, this is just my own methodology of counting victories, like you've seen, I have a lot of Weird Edge Cases that you could make arguments on either way. If you have, like, your own interpretations and your own ways of counting victories for these two Ultimate Losers, I’d love to hear it!

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