Yet again for my Mystic Mikey au, this time with Leo.(click for better quality)

I decided to go somewhat all in for this one while I'm preparing the fanfic that should be out... I could say soon but I have no idea to be honest.

Excited to share more of this au because damn do I love it! I will draw some wholesome soon for this au im just in my angst phase.

Anyway, this was actually a redraw of one of my first image for this au when I didnt really care to draw good. But here it is so you can make a comparison.

//ooc

excited to announce my return to writing in the form of a jegulus AU

( if you see this from my other account @that-one-gay-from-the-gay-club is me, so please don't start yelling at me about it "not being my fic" )

i love this game

Might delete all my posts relating to Will Gold (I refuse to say his online name. His real name should be spread and attributed to the abuser he is)

I won't delete everything dsmp related, since I did draw alot of Schlatt art (I still do) but i don't feel great about having art of an abuser up on my page.

My one and only take on this situation, as I don't want to talk about it again: I'm livid. His continuous harm to his friends and partners is disgusting, his lack of accountability disappointing on several levels. I'm a very forgiving person, so I do want to give him the opportunity to change, but ill never see him the same again. I don't think I'll ever support him again, even if he does change. But I always believe in second chances so I'm not going to say he doesn't deserve an opportunity, but the likelihood of earning back that trust is low.

He's a manipulator through and through, using his vulnerable fanbase and catering to the demographic by appearing as if he was a sweet, kind musician who understood mental health. My heart goes out to Shelby and his other victims, as well as his friends who had to learn about how awful he was, and finally his fans who were manipulated by him. Please take the time you need to process this, maybe take a step back and remind yourself that you never really know the person behind the screen. Parasocial relationships are dangerous, and it's important to focus on your mental health first. If anyone ever needs to vent, my messages are open, or even go to my Instagram and dm me there! I hope everyone can heal from this, again Go Shelby for speaking out about her experience. She is so amazingly strong, please show your support.

I know I'm by no means a popular creator, but I do feel like any little bit of help with pushing this truth out is good. Twitter is a cesspool at the moment, Tumblr seems much calmer in regards to things and I feel more comfortable making a post on it.

I promise to post art soon, but I do need time to process this all. I will be taking the bursonas and making my own OCs though, as many other artists have done, so stay tuned for those guys! Thank you for reading and remember to look after yourselves.

Stains called prejudice or stigma. Even all the big and the small stains. Ones you didn’t even know you had. Even the stains you didn’t know were stains because they were hidden behind scars. Even the stains that I got from spilling water on myself. Lots of things are different now. Let’s wash them all away and let them all go. For a nice and fluffy tomorrow, in anticipation of a spotless morning that’s sure to come someday.

I am not mentally, emotionally or physically okay anymore. For 10 years loving an abuser/ narcissist has been draining, but nothing prepared me for trying to leave one. The amount of bullshit I am going through just trying to divorce and leave is horrible. The mind games, the tricks. Ontop of all this how my health is declining and I might be going through kidney failure during all this is mind fucking me. I truly don't know how much more I can take. All I know is this is becoming too much to handle. Then add the love bombing and the I am going to change and be a better man to the back to the bad behavior. I just want to curl into a ball and hide while this goes on... it's becoming to much...

💔

And now the sadness comes. The realness of having to miss you forever. The tear streaked memories of the past and the joy stained moments of bliss we shared in our history together. My love for you was all consuming and I struggle to find the parts of me that are left. But I haven’t the strength to keep you in my life. I have come to the realization that I simply no longer want the fire. I can no longer stand in your heat and shrivel as you consume my soul. I have to love you while missing you; like all the other great loves in my life. Am I addicted to a toxic type of love? Or is that that I truly think I deserve to be alone? I’m not sure what’s worse but I do know this ache will fade; I just need to be brave. Braver than I ever was before.

Someone close to me has cancer.

In support and love, a few of us chopped off our hair for her.

I organized a benefit that raised over $3200.00 for medical bills.

Started dating her brother... But that's another post.

2023 has been a difficult time but it has brought so much joy that it is going down as the best of the '20's thus decade.

I bake when I'm overwhelmed. Sometimes I don't realize I'm overwhelmed till I'm dozens of cookies into a baking session and the boom! I'm hit with wave of anxiety I've been fending off with sugary treats and other distraction.

So hi there anxiety, I know why you're here. I promise I'm trying monumentally hard to do better, to do all the things I know I need to get done. It's this time of year, it's being so far from friends, it's forgetting to always take my meds. It's a million excuses, but they are all valid.

So hi there anxiety. Take a cookie and strap in for a ride. I know you're not going anywhere but neither am I.

I knew it would never work but I forced it anyway because I wanted to be delusional for your sakes only.

Sometimes I think of what I've done to Jesse and get really sad

Dear Friend,

I recently, (a little over eight months ago) became a mother! And I’ve dreamed of this for a while. I’m honestly terrified and I’m taking it one day at a time. Being a mom, I learned that it takes a lot of patience and mines is wearing thin. Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning and I’m losing consciousness. However, I am hanging on and doing my best.

I feel lost most of the times and I find myself running away from situations that scare me or make me uncomfortable. I feel like a coward sometimes. Why is it so hard to say how I feel? I find myself lying about my feelings and justifying my shortcomings. I’m honestly fed up with it. I know how important it is to express my feelings thoroughly. It’s hard.

I want to be a good role model for my daughter. I want to raise her with good morals and values. I never had that as a child and I won’t make the same mistakes my parents did with me. However, being a single mom is not easy. It’s not easy at all. I don’t have any support and I’m finding that I am this girls best chance and it’s a little overwhelming.

A part of me knows that it will get better. But when? I know the first few years are the toughest but I have hope that it will work itself out. I’ve been told to “keep my head up” and “have courage” and I’m trying to but it seems impossible.

Anyways, any advice?

Yours truly,

ME

There’s so many different fics that I want to write/said I will write but I’ve been really struggling for about 3-4 weeks even with breaks and I don’t know why

Like usually I write as a way of coping but recently everything that I write isn’t at a standard that I want it to be. And I know that I can just make shitty writing and that’s fine but I’m proud of my work and I want people to enjoy it and I want it to be at a fairly consistent standard. But for past couple weeks I just haven’t been able to get the depth that I want and take pride in and yeah

I’m a bit upset about it

got to send an email to the principal of my old highschool telling them to do better even after graduating. refereshing