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shiningstardan · 2 days

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• N E J I x H I N A T A • R A T E D E • 1 0 K W •

S U M M A R Y:

'Talk to her!' Lee's words still rang in his mind, and he wondered if he actually should. Shame and guilt have the tendency to consume one's soul. How far can a gesture or a series of them compensate for the sins of the past? And will the sufferer be able to accept the atonement given or will they succumb to the guilt and heaviness of those emotions? Could Neji and Hinata relink a relationship that is plagued by the ghost of the past? Prompt 1: Dry Humping

✦ A O 3 - F F . N E T ✦

Peculiar Considerations For Atonement

Part 1: Adagio

Late September.

Lee had always struggled with his alcohol intake and had decided to take his low resistance seriously.

He could be a liability in a mission if someone slipped something into his drink and, as a preventive measure, he had taken his drinking into his hands. Or more accurately, into his and Neji's hands. He had convinced Neji to train him, making him his drinking buddy. And, in one of those fortuitous drinking nights, his friend had mentioned liking someone. Neji had always been very private, he never talked about relationships, much less who he liked. Lee hadn't wanted to lose such an opportunity, he didn’t stop bugging Neji about who the girl was or whether he had talked to her ever since.

Nothing was going to stop Lee's youthful desire to discover his friend's secret love. Neji had been well aware of Lee's tactics, waiting for him to get drunk enough to slip up again.

"So? "

"So what Lee?" He asked, irritated.

"Tell me! "

"I don't have to tell you anything " He tried to sound more threatening than he knew he would.

"So you haven't?... But! What about..."

"If you continue talking. I swear I'll kill you!"

One drunken evening, that had been all Lee needed to make Neji talk.

"Ah man, so you are not telling me about her and worse than that, you are not telling her about your feelings, the flame of your youth is going to dim when she goes out with another guy" Lee said while sipping the sake.

"I told you I don't want to talk about it"

"But why not? Common man! We cannot talk about missions because they are confidential, we cannot talk about your clan because that's too convoluted" He complained. "I will tell you about my love if you tell me about yours" He said in a velvety manner, seeing how it had no effect on him when trying to persuade him "I don't want to get drunk just because! At least, let's make it worthwhile!"

"I can't!", said Neji angrily. "Plus, we all know that you love Sakura. But regardless of how much you fight, that's a long-lost battle. You are just fighting for nothing.

"Tou are wrong, my friend! That's the thing, don’t you see? I can still enjoy the beauty of these heartfelt and youthful emotions, even if they are not corresponded”

“You are not letting it die, aren't you?" Lee's sardonic smile confirmed his stubbornness, not letting him off the hook. Neji sighted, he was usually more strongly-willed than this, but he felt the tiredness sinking into him, he didn't know where to start or what to say without letting much information out.

"So?"

"Ok, ok... She - She's one of us"

"Uuuh , a fellow kunoichi from the Leave then. Do I know her?" Neji just stared blankly at him, but after so many years in each other's lives Lee had learned to read his facial expressions, and didn't feel any kind of intimidation anymore.

"I'll take that as a yes!" he said pointing a finger at him. "Next question! Have you given her anything?"

He sighted.

"Ye-es…"

‘I gave her a heart failure ’, he thought morbidly. He could feel his friend gaze scrutinizing him once again.

Despite what people thought, Lee was more perceptive than he let on, and people usually took him for granted. Neji knew him, and as naturally cautious as he was, he knew Lee would get the information out of him one way or another. It was only a matter of time.

"Wait, you said that you... can't ? You can't talk about your mysterious lady?" Neji saw the moment Lee had caught him, deduced him, read him. A mix of surprise, shock and confusion was coursing through his face, making him groan.

‘Goddammit. I really need to start drinking less! ’, he thought. They had finished one bottle and were only halfway through the second one, said barely 4 words about the matter and deadpanned the whole way through the conversation, in the hopes of not being discovered. But it hadn’t been enough, that was everything Lee had needed.

He saw his intentions, clear about saying something regarding the matter. But before he could say anything...

"Fuck you Lee!"

"Neejii!" he said giggling. The alcohol always made him laugh "My dearest and most esteemed friend and rival, you certainly are a complicated person. I'll give you that" Neji started rubbing his eyes half-heartedly with the heel of his free hand, wanting to let out some of his frustration "So , what was it that you gave he-… Oh, man! Common! Don’t be like this!”

"This is why I didn't want to talk about it! It's complicated, and dangerous, and... We both know I shouldn’t be thinking about her like this, not after everything between us. What I almost did, the whole intention of it. It's shameful. And, a disgrace. The only reason why I am alive, it's because of how it happened. Never before had three senseis and a referee interjected a duel"

Lee kept a poker face while listening to his friend, not wanting to make him feel judged, but deep down he knew he was right. If the fight had happened outside the chunin exams, he would have been sentenced to a painful death.

The rules of the clan were absolute, and he had had too much anger inside him. And although he had worked on his issues and his temper, and the relationship with the lady had improved. He had never had the watchful eyes of the clan taken off of him.

"Well, my friend, I shall drink this one for our ladies! May them rule our hearts in the most benevolent way!"

"Cheers" Neji toasted dejectedly, raising his cup of sake to Lee’s and drinking it.

He had to thank the fact that she was such a good person.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

"Are you sure that you can go up the stairs?"

"Yeah, man! Worry not. I am now better at this! Thanks for sharing a cup with me."

"Yeah, well. I'm the only one who has been able to handle your drunken fist, so I guess it has to be me"

"Ha! You wish!” He said between hiccups. “Only once and by pure luck, three years ago. You're just pure tell but can't show up for shit! Same time next week?"

"Maybe, if neither of us is on a mission. I'll pay for the first bottle"

"You ?"

"Don't start or you'll pay for both!"

"Ok, ok. I'll shut up" Neji started walking away towards the district.

"HEY NEJI!" Lee screamed from where he was "TALK TO HER!" Neji scoffed, Lee had improved, but he still got really really drunk.

The moon was beautiful that night, it was full but blurred by a dense layer of thick clouds, dimming its light.

‘Talk to her’

Lee's words still rang in his mind, and he wondered if he actually could.

A part of him wished that they were closer.

Maybe he could...

‘NO!’

Definitely not. What was he thinking? He was being delusional. And at this point he didn't know if he needed a stronger drink before going to sleep, or simply sober up and never drink again.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

He walked straight into the kitchen, still undecided between that last drink or some aspirin, but to his surprise it was not empty. Hinata was there, and apparently she had also thought about having a drink before going to sleep. ‘Correction. That is more than simply a drink ’ he thought after noticing the big bottle of sake resting in the middle of the table.

"Neji-onisama!" she said surprised, feeling like a little child who had been discovered in the middle of a naughty prank. The fact that she was drinking on her own, made her self-conscious. She felt as if she had been doing something illicit. Neji was petrified, Hinata was the last person that he wanted to see while being drunk.

"Hi... Hinata-Sama. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I-I was coming for a glass of water" he improvised while willing his words out of his body. Still surprised by her presence. The alcohol had affected his most perceptive ninja skills "I will get a glass and be... be on my way"

"Wait! Can... can you sit and have a cup with me?" he could not refuse her. Especially when he could see the need for companionship in her eyes.

"I'd be honored" he formally replied while she served him some sake.

She sighted.

"Are you ok?" He tried to analyze her demeanor closely but failed, his mind too hazy and only a couple of brain cells were working at a time.

"I... um... yeah. I am just tired and needed something strong before going to sleep" her eyes were glued to the cup of sake in her hand. She was deep in thought, her eyelids almost closed. The bottle was not halfway through yet, but she had pulled out a big one. So, she must have drunk quite a bit before his arrival, and to her credit, she didn't look as if she was that deep into her cups.

He finished his drink while she was mechanically raising her hand, going for the bottle once again, getting ready to serve herself yet another shot. Slowly grazing his hand over hers, he subtly indicated to her to stop drinking for tonight, since he could see the tiredness reflected under her eyes.

"Please" he said trying to call her attention "let me escort you back to your room Hinata-sama". She squinted her eyes, not breaking eye contact, and for a moment he felt a rumble in his chest where everything mixed: his feelings, the sensation of his hand over hers, and the fire in her eyes. She stood up, leaving the bottle open in the middle of the table, determined to not look back at him once again.

Neji walked through the wooden corridors and everything was spinning around him, he followed the wobbly steps of Hinata, but if that was his perception or her actual footing, he couldn't say. He walked behind her until the door to her room was visible.

"You are relieved from your duties tonight" the sluggish iciness of her voice was something he had not expected from her. What just happened? He was confused. They hadn't talked that much, and in his mind they had shared what he could call a comfortable silence, hadn’t they? She had never dismissed him. Ever. Or anyone else, as far as he remembered. The distant and impersonal dismissal made him more uncertain. She had never talked to him in such a distant manner.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Next morning.

He was still feeling the effects of the drinks, with his head still spinning. The sun hadn't come out yet. He must have slept 4 hours tops. And although it was still early, he didn't feel like training at all. Lee would be out after all the shots he had drunk, that was for sure.

He tried remembering last night’s details. Trying to make sense about last night's Hinata, and the rarity of the circumstances. She had been so surprised when he got into the kitchen, she had reacted so skittish when he got there, and she had already gotten drunk, drinking half a bottle on her own... ‘ Why? ’. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her drinking, at least not like that. She had always gone for one or two shots, especially when she was invited to the Inuzuka parties. But last night… her demeanor, body language and posture had been narrating a different story. And the worst part was that she had been drinking alone. That made him feel uneasy. Was that something she did frequently, or had something happened?

‘God, I need a painkiller ’. He looked through his medicine cabinet and pulled out some tablets. Gulping down two at the same time.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

By the time she entered the kitchen around 6 am, he had already prepared some steamed rice, sides, miso and was now frying some fish.

"Morning Neji-onisama,” she sounded a little sleepy, “that fish smells good. Do you need help?"

"Good Morning Hinata-sama, please sit. I'll be done in a minute"

"I would have thought you on the training grounds at this hour"

"I - I usually would be. You are right"

"But...?"

"But I have a terrible headache, it seems like I drank much more from what I can stand. How about you?"

"I'm - I'm a little... I don't know, not fully dizzy, but not fully ok"

"Here" he said, extending the capsule and a glass of water.

"Oh, thanks. This, this is very thoughtful of you"

"You can start drinking the water but, please, wait for the food before taking the pill. Otherwise, you might hurt your stomach"

"Thank you" she said with a shadow of a smile gracing her face.

Neji started serving the food while Hinata drank some of the water. The bubbly texture of the drink made her open her eyes surprised, lowering her glass and she stared into it trying to put two and two together despite the haziness of her mind.

"Did you put a seltzer in the water?"

"Um, well... I thought that - that you could wake up with a stomach ache" he could feel the blood running up his face. She smiled fully after his answer, and it was the most beautiful sight an early morning could bring him. She stood up from the table and went around it. And once she stood in front of him, she bowed.

"Thank you for being so thoughtful with me today. I'll set the table, so we can have breakfast" He eyes followed her moving around the kitchen, still in disbelief, paralyzed. Musing in the warmth he felt in the depth of his chest.

They ate in silence, but unlike last night, his head was now mostly clear and Hinata seemed to be enjoying what she was tasting.

"Can I ask something?" he dared himself, he felt that he had to know. They were not friends but maybe, maybe, he could show her that she could talk to him.

"Yes, of course", she answered expectantly.

"Did - did something happen last night?"

"Oh..." she felt her cheeks beating hard, remembering the events of the day before, "well..." looking for the appropriate words seemed like a struggle. "It's quite embarrassing, actually… I - I was back from a date"

‘A date ?’. He tried assimilating the idea, and he knew he shouldn't be surprised. After all it was Hinata, with everything that she represented and was, she was bound to have suitors pursuing her, it was inevitable. But the surprising part for him was that she had actually gone out with someone, since she was usually timid. And, she had been secluding herself for almost two years now.

"And… was it a good one?" He cringed internally at himself. What kind of question was that one?! He certainly didn’t know how to continue a conversation like that. From all the things that could be discussed, Hinata’s love life had never been one of those. He felt as if he was crossing a boundary, invading her privacy. It felt inappropriate and invasive, every fiber of his body was screaming at him, telling him that he was not the person she ought to have that conversation with. Deep down he could only hope to not make Hinata’s embarrassment any greater, especially not at the expense of his curiosity.

"I wish" she simply said, and he wondered if he should ask more about it? or- "I finally had a date with Naruto-kun” her low tone indicated more than the words itself. “It wasn't at all as I had imagined it would be. I mean, he was nice, but... I don't know… I had been so excited and had spent hours getting ready for it. But I don't think he would ever be able to understand what it feels like to be part of a family like ours. Can you imagine that he said he would come and tell us to change our traditions?" She looked genuinely sad, the pressure of being the heir and now head of a noble clan weighing her down. He wanted to say something, but he knew that anything he said could end up sounding patronizing. “I just couldn't help but feel that we would have such a perfect date after years of wanting one, and while I'm happy I took the courage to ask him out... I - I - feel like a silly little girl"

"You asked Naruto out?" To say he was astounded would be an understatement "I feel congratulations are in order, then".

"Please, don't make fun of me, Neji-onisama. I feel bad enough already" she looked like she was about to bolt, she had started collecting the dishes in an attempt to escape the kitchen. Ready to recoil.

"No, wait!" he grabbed her wrist from across the table "Please sit, I didn't want to make you feel on the spot. It's just that...” She audibly heard him exhale, trying to find the appropriate words, “You always wanted to go out with him, and you asked him out. I commend you for your bravery" she wasn't looking at him, embarrassment fogging the previous brightness of her eyes.

"Well...” she said defeatedly “at least the ramen was really tasty"

"Was your date at Ichiraku?" He asked incredulously.

She nodded, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second, covering her face. "Ino will kill me when I tell her. She thinks that Ichiraku isn't the place for a date".

He regarded her for a second and blurted a “Is there a place where you'd like to go?” before noticing. And he couldn’t lie to himself, the reality was that he was curious. He had never thought about the places she would like to visit. Nor dared to imagine the possibility of ever going out with her. He couldn't fool himself, there was a social gap dividing them. Letting his thoughts drift that way was dangerous. It would be considered an insolence, since she was a member of the main family.

"I guess, I would like to go to a place that wasn't one I have visited almost every day for more than 10 years, a place where I go all the time with my team. I want to do something different... Something special" He could see that. Her craving for something new and different to happen when you are constricted by the rules of a strict family like theirs, was more than understandable. They all did it, in one way or another they all looked for ways of escaping the harshness of their reality.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Mid-October

“Excuse me, Hinata-Sama. Something has been delivered for you” said Kaya.

A white envelope with no signature had been given to her, and inside, there was... a gift card?

She looked confused at the colorful card. It had the name of a place she vaguely seemed to remember.

She checked the paper again, as if checking it once again would make a name appear, the harder she started to do it. But despite her effort the paper remained as blank as it had been when she had received it.

She never received anything.

Who would have sent it?

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

"Hinata-chan! How's your day going?"

"Ino-chan! Sakura-chan! Thank you for coming!"

"So? What's today's plan?"

"Actually, I'm... not sure. I received a card for a place called... La... Lade-Ladu"

"LADURÉE???" Screamed Ino and Sakura excitedly at the same time. Hinata was a little stunned by how loud her friends had reacted.

"Ok, enough. Tell us! Who is it?"

"Who is who?"

"Oh common! Don’t play coy. Your boyfriend, of course!" asked Sakura "Who's your boyfriend?"

"I don't have one, you girls know that"

"Commooon, don't be shy! You can tell us" said Ino.

"No. I'm serious... I - I don't know who sent it" the last was said in a really quiet voiced “Kaya-san gave me the envelope a week ago, and I wasn't sure if it was really for me, I asked her more than once if it she was sure, and she was vehement about it, but I cannot imagine who or why I was sent something like this”

"Argh! Not you too then!” Ino groaned.

“Me too?” she didn’t understand.

"I don't want to sound as if I'm stealing your moment but... I've also been receiving random gifts from time to time. And I have never been able to figure out who is the one sending me things", said Sakura

Ino sighed "You girls are so lucky, I only get bad dates. I'm so tired of 'what's your rank?', 'Where did you go on your last mission?', 'Do you belong to a clan?' over and over and over again” Ino stopped ranting for a second “This place opened not long ago, so it must be someone who considers you special. I've been dying to come ever since they opened. But enough is enough, don't let me bring down the mood, let's get some macarons!"

"Macarons?" Hinata was puzzled by the whole thing.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

"Thanks for walking me back, girls" Hinata bowed when she was at the gates of the Hyuga district. "It was a lovely afternoon".

"Thanks to your boyfriend! It was very delicious, can't wait to go again!" Said Ino.

"Have a nice night Hinata-chan" said Sakura, bidding goodbye to her friend.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Tea Nation

"Don't you think I sent it too soon?" For once, Neji was deeper into his cups, and Lee was actually surprised of seeing him so flustered "I mean, she looked so distraught and embarrassed after her date with Naruto, I just couldn't not do something "Lee saw his friend lamenting while drowning down the rest of his cup.

"Don't worry Neji! Did you send it the next day?"

"No, of course not. I thought about it some days before deciding to get the card."

"You see, don't stress out! It'll be alright" Lee served him a little bit more liquor, if anyone needed to have liquid courage at this moment, it was certainly his friend "So have you thought about giving her something else?"

"In fact, I have" He said while gracing the cup over his lips covering a shy smile.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .��⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Late October

"Hinata-sama" Kaya called her attention "There’s a new envelope for you".

Roughly two weeks had already passed since the first envelope arrived. And this one was a very similar one. It was blank, no label nor penmanship. She tried scrutinizing it even further. Who could it be? She mused.

“Byakugan” She activated her blood limit. She wanted to detect the faint traces of chakra left by the sender. Maybe she would be able to see something that gave her a clue about this person. But to no avail, nothing could be read out of the paper.

She pursed her lips, thinking.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

"Kyaaa!!!! Hinata-chan!!! This is amazing, Just what I needed!"

"Ino is so right" said Sakura "I hadn't come to the hot springs in a hot second, this is so nice!!"

"I'm happy that you are enjoying this!"

"We really need to get Ino a secret admirer, that way we can go to more restaurants and cafés" continued Sakura jokingly.

"Do you really have no idea? Absolutely no idea who these men sending you gifts are?"

"I really don't" said Hinata thinking about those closer to her "I know Kiba-kun and Shino-kun are not the kind to be giving gifts"

"Yeah, I don't even want to talk about mine, they are a lost cause", said Sakura.

"Yeah, I bet mine are part of that group... Actually no, I could see Choji doing so, he doesn't deserve to be grouped with Shika’s lazy ass, I know he could never" Ino was taking the question very seriously "so no one in team 7, 8 or 10... and the cards, gifts and flowers you guys receive are usually nice, like really nice! So I'd say that they have to be top ninjas who get high ranking missions regularly"

"I mean, that doesn't really narrow down the list, there are still lots of Jounin or ANBU who could be in a position where they can give you nice presents" Sakura contemplated. The girls tried to think of other ways to continue narrowing down the list but the only thing they knew was that no one on their teams could be responsible.

Gasp

"What Hinata? What?" asked Sakura.

"What are the possibilities of both you and I, receiving gifts from admirers simultaneously?!" asked Hinata

"What if they are friends?!" Followed Ino.

Understanding flashing through their faces.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Early November

He could listen to the sounds coming from the kitchen. A bitter and warm smell flowing in the air, tea was being prepared. The closer he got to the kitchen, the more he could listen to the water boiling and the slightly warmer temperature.

"Tadaima Hinata-sama" he said once he saw the woman he had fallen in love with in front of the stove.

"Neji-onisama, okaerinasai! I am preparing tea, would you like some, or would you like water?"

"I'll wait for the tea, thanks. It smells really nice. How have you been?"

"I've been well. I even had the chance to go out with the girls while you were on mission"

"Yeah? Where to?"

"We went to a frent pâtisserie, a new place in the village. We ate macarons"

"Macarons?" He asked quizzically, feigning ignorance, curious about whether she had had a good time.

"Yes! They are these little cookies that..." for a moment, her words couldn't reach him. He was entranced by the glint in her eyes. It was a stark difference compared to the previous time he had seen her, almost a month ago.

"I'm glad to hear you had a good time"

"Yeah! It was really nice. We also went to an onsen. It was very relaxing, it had been a while since we had the opportunity to go together since we had been going and coming back from different missions and Sakura working at the hospital" she said while pouring the prepared tea in a cup "be careful, it's quite hot"

"Thank you very much, Hinata-sama"

"Please tell me about your mission, how was it?"

"It was good, I went to several villages in the south near the Wood Nation. Originally it was supposed to be a solo mission, but then Lee was sent to support me, so it was nice to have a familiar face with me. Even if it means enduring his endless energy"

"Did you see anything interesting?"

"Not much to be honest, but" he stopped for a second and turned around to his backpack and from it, he pulled out a small package "I thought... you might like this"

The fruity smell of the box reached her. The box read ‘Peach oolong Tea’ and he saw her take the tea pack with both hands, closing her eyes as her hands pulled the box closer to her nose, slowly breathing the sweet essence it emanated. He couldn't hear it, but he saw her chest rise up and down with a breath; inhaling, appreciating the subtle notes in the sweet smell.

"I hope you like it, Hinata-sama" he saw her face change instantly, her shoulders looked tense again "Are you ok?"

"Uh, am, yeah, sorry." she smiled, but now it looked force "I'll prepare some tomorrow and tell you how it tasted"

"Oh...ok” now Neji was feeling tense himself “I..." he wanted to save the conversation, but was unsure how to do so "I... I have heard that a festival is coming"

"Oh yes, Ino-chan asked me to help her, she's ordering flowers and when they get here I'll be helping her with the arrangements. It should be nice. I feel I haven't gone to one in ages! There will even be fireworks!" This made Neji feel a rumbling in his chest, a sort of agitation, remembering the time when she had been temporarily blind thanks to him.

That was another thing he had never apologized for. He could feel the blood surging to his face.

"Neji-onisama?" Now she looked worried "Are you alright?"

A sharp pain striking his heart.

"I am - nothing to worry about"

"Are you sure?" He saw her bend over the table and extend the back of her hand over his cheek, which made him blush even more furiously. "It doesn't seem like a fever... Try not to exert yourself too much. You should rest. It’s been a long journey.

"I'll... I'll try to get a full night of sleep tonight" he knew that he was still blushing. Especially under her unflinching eyes.

"Neji-onisama. Can I ask you something?"

"Ask away" She looked uneasy. She wasn't sure about how to ask what she wanted, ideas spinning inside her head, not knowing how to ask the questions plaguing her mind. She was still reclining over the table, and was that his imagination or was there a tint shade of pink on her face?

“What do you think about me?” The unexpected question left him speechless for a second.

“Hinata-sama” he saw her flinch, visibly flinch. “You have always been the respected heiress and now you are our honorable clan Head” She looked 10 times more uncomfortable.

Neji pursed his lips forming a fine line when she broke eye contact with him. And in a quieter voice she asked “Are- are we friends?” The pumping of his heart resounding so loud he couldn’t hear his own thoughts.

Well, that question was something he certainly didn't expect. He didn't know what to say.

They were... complicated.

That's what they were.

They had been childhood friends, and he thought of her a cute girl from the very first time. Then politics had gotten between them, he was branded and had proudly promised to be at the service of the main family, swearing loyalty. He had been a new member of the secondary branch, bound through duty and sacrifice to protect the main family. But then, he had seen his father being subjugated by such duty and one day he had lost him. The closest person in the family, and the one who had guided and loved him, had simply vanished. The tomb located in the cemetery was a shell, empty of any real remains. For many years he blamed her for his death and he tried to kill her. ‘An eye for an eye’ some said, and without remorse or hesitation he had gone for her heart, giving her a heart failure that still required medical control. And to put the cherry on the cake, he had unintentionally blinded her while training.

He couldn't allow her to call him a friend, she deserved more. Much more.

She continued to look at him, but his silence spoke more than enough. She picked up all the china from the tea set. Full of shame he walked towards her, cringing on the inside, leaving his empty cup of tea in the sink.

"Hinata-sama?" He lowered himself, trying to see her beautiful eyes once again. But her hair curtained forward, covering most of her face.

"I'm sorry Neji, I think I asked for more than I should have" her voice was trembling, but he could feel her effort, not trying to cry in front of him "Please go get some rest, you've just come back from a long journey, don't let me stall you any further"

"Hinata-sama, please look at me" he placed one of his hands on her shoulder. A part of him reminded himself that he was playing with fire, he wasn’t allowed to take such liberties.

She didn't respond, she continued looking down to the sink and her eyes stuck on the dirty china.

Neither said anything further.

Resigned, he just took a step back and bowed, exiting the kitchen.

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

"I feel like an idiot, Lee" His friend was judging him with open eyes, and he deserved it.

"You are an idiot"

He groaned.

"Life gives you the best opportunity to repair your relationship with her, and you simply said: No, thanks. I'm good " Lee sipped his sake

"I knoooooow" his palms covered his face "I'm seriously questioning why people call me a genius" if he could, he would pull out each hair from his head. Individually.

"Well, now that we agree on your idiocy. What are you going to do to not be an idiot anymore?"

"Face it, I guess" Neji was about to lift his cup, when Lee interjected him, stealing it.

"Good!" He drank Neji's sake on one go. "No more alcohol for you then. Not tonight"

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

The wind had started feeling colder and colder during the nights. And at this point, he could only hope for the best.

"Hinata-sama? Can I come in?" He could only hope for her to be in the mood to give him an audience, despite the hour. It had been some time since he had walked to this area of the house on his own. The only exceptions were when he escorted her back. "I can feel your chakra signature, please, I just - I just want to talk..." He could hear her quiet steps approaching before the door slowly slid open. Despite being in front of her she wouldn't look at him. "I brought something..." he raised his hand, a pastel green of the bag calling her attention "I - I thought you might like to have some''

"You brought Macarons?"

"I remember you mentioned liking them" she grabbed the bag shocked. Inside there was a collection of six cookies. She could feel something spreading within her, something reassuring.

"Can I come in?" She walked back a couple, giving him enough space to enter.

"Do you mind if we sit outside?" she asked quietly "It'll not be long before the winter comes with full force, and I’d like to enjoy the weather before it turns too harsh"

"Of course” they both were wearing the traditional black training clothes. The fitted shirt with short sleeves and black pants didn’t provide much warmth, but the nights hadn’t turned that cold yet. Hinata sat on the engawa with her feet dangling, while trying to appear calmer than she actually was, still affected by their last conversation. Neji could see the hurt and rejection still reflected in her body language.

He had told Lee that he was going to face the situation and that's what he ought to do.

"I'm sorry Hinata-sama"

"No, Neji-onisama. I'm sorry for putting you in a difficult position"

"No, please" he interrupted "don't apologize. Just, listen to me" He looked at her with determination and Hinata for a moment thought that she had seen something in his eyes, although she didn't know what.

Neji moved a little closer to her, he wanted her to see his sincerity.

"I didn't want to give you the impression that we can't be friends. And, while I feel honored that you would even consider me in such light. It's just that... I don't feel worthy"

"Neji. Please..."

"No, I beg you, let me continue" He interjected desperately "I tried to kill you when we were young, I have exhausted you to the point of temporary blindness and demeaned you in the process. These are actions that I can’t forgive myself about, even if you have been gracious enough with your generosity. You can’t possibly call me a friend under such circumstances. But I want you to know that I will always comply with my duty, and I will always follow you. There are many others who deserve to be your friends, but me" he sat down in seiza and bowed to the floor.

"Neji-onisama! Ple-please! Don't do that, please don't bow to me. I-I"

"I can only beg for your forgiveness" his forehead rested firmly against the wooden floor.

Hinata was getting more and more flustered about the whole situation. Her heart pounded loudly and the air escaped her lungs.

The most respected and acclaimed member of the Hyuuga family was bowing to her.

NO!

She was horrified.

She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled as hard as she could, and he resisted. Her fingers dug into his skin as hard as she could, trying to break his stance. Trying to force him to sit up once again. Her ragged breath tried to collect the oxygen she needed. Until she finally pulled hard enough to see his eyes.

"NEVER..." her voice was trembling and she gasped looking for the necessary air "Never! Never do that again! Ever!" He looked down, he hadn't intended for her to feel more distressed, but he had to say it. He had to make things right.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make the situation worse. I know - I don't deserve forgiveness"

"No! No Oni-sama, don't say that! Yes... We have been through a lot, and, and it hasn't been easy, but... it's... it's us" She tried to smile for him, but her trembling lips shaped an abstract expression "We have always had each other, we have always been there... Maybe not in the best ways, but... it's always us in the end - I already forgave you a long time ago" Neji could feel her fingers digging back again into his shoulders "Neji, we were friends once, I thought... that maybe" her voice wavered "maybe we could be once again"

"How can you just forgive me? I've done horrible things to you, you should despise me"

"You might think that, but the truth is that I have never despise you, and probably never will" A part of him knew he should feel happy, he should *be* happy listening to her answer. But he wasn't. Sometimes he wished he had her rage instead, at least that would be understandable. "So, do you think we could be like that? Is there a chance we could be friends? No hierarchies between us"

"But we're not. I'm branded. I am part of the secondary branch. We could never be equal. It would be frowned upon" comprehension shone through her eyes. He was afraid

"This - this is not about the clan Neji. This is not even about us" she couldn't contain the heartache anymore "This is just a very selfish wish. I just wish to feel that there's someone I can rely upon within these walls and I thought that you might feel the same. After everything, everything that has happened… These last two years have been the most horrible ones of my life. And I feel empty and so alone. How can a house full of so many people feel so empty? I’m losing my mind and I can’t do this anymore, I can’t continue pushing on my own. That is why, I thought that you might feel the same… but you are in no obligation to do this. I can understand if you don't..."

"I am here for you, Hinata-sama. If you want me to be your friend- If you want me to share your pain, I’d happily be your friend, even if I think I don't deserve it" He saw the light start to shine in her eyes.

"Thank you, Neji" He raised his hands and caressed one of her forearms, which were still firmly attached to his shoulders.

'Neji '

His own name echoing in his ears.

He felt lost for a moment, looking deep into her eyes.

She started feeling warm again, and she was sure that the blood was going up her neck and cheeks.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Mid - November

"I mean, it's white!"

"Really, Ino? As if we hadn't seen it with our own eyes" Sometimes Ino could be so exasperating. Sakura rolled her eyes "All that grandiosity of great spies and intelligence that runs in your family must have skipped you"

"I don't see you contributing, Haruno. If you are so amazing, tell me what you see" Ino passed the envelope to Sakura, daring her to examine it.

"You already said it, there's nothing special about it. What do you think, Hinata-chan?"

"The paper looks very similar to the other two envelopes, I have been saving them in case I can detect a chakra pattern or something, but so far I haven't noticed anything"

"Hmm, I wish we could have a clue, that way we could uncover who your boyfriend is" Hinata found it humorous that Ino had already decided that this person was 'her boyfriend', she didn't know if it was in fact a man.

"You know Ino, it could very well be a woman, for all we know. None of us can have an exact idea of who it is" said Sakura

"Open it Hinata! We must see what's in it"

Hinata examined it once again before she started peeling the flap of the envelope and from it, she pulled out a sachet.

'Cosmos seed', it read. Hinata opened her eyes, surprised to see that she had been given flower seeds.

"Well it's definitely someone close to you", Said Sakura.

"Or a creep"

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

One week before the festival

Hinata sighed satisfied.

She needed a bath, that was for sure. Helping Ino in her spare time with the orders was taxing, but she loved it. The arrangements looked beautiful and everything was looking amazingly good. They would need to revitalize the flowers before the festival but with their jutsu skills they could make them look fresh during the festival. She was so excited, after the war and with the reconstruction efforts, everything had looked dreadful for a while but little by little Konoha was starting to feel like home again.

‘So many things to do… I have to check how many orders are left to be done. And I need to make sure my clothes are ready for that day. And Sakura-chan already confirmed she will go, I wonder if Tenten w- Neji-onisama! I had totally forgotten! ’

She hadn't talked to him yet, but thinking about him made her feel fuzzy on the inside. ‘ I still don’t know if he will be in the village that day’ Since he had been going on a lot of solo missions recently it was hard to know. Hinata turned on her heels walking now towards her cousin's room, she could take a bath after she had asked him.

"Neji-onisama?" No answer.

It wasn't that late, maybe he was still training or attending to business. Knowing he could be assigned a mission with short notice, it'd be better to leave a note. The room was neatly organized. Very Neji-like, the thought made her giggle. She would need parchment paper and ink. Hinata started opening the drawers of his desk.

"Here's the ink" she said to herself pulling out the small container "and here's the..."

Eyes wide open.

Was someone coming?

She didn't know if she could trust her senses or if it was her paranoia. Her instincts maxed to her surroundings. Her eyes rapidly went from left to right. She tried to feel if there were any chakra signatures around her. She could feel her heart beating three times faster. Her breathing went in and out, echoing loudly in the dead silence of the room.

Delicately she lifted the sharpened feather quill and underneath it laid a white enveloped. A pack of them actually.

‘I have to get out of here!’

No one could see her in Neji's room at that moment, especially him.

And as discreetly as she had entered, she went out.

Leaving no trace of ever being there.

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

At the Konoha market

"Have you decided which one you are buying?" asked Neji.

"Yes! And it's the most beautiful one in the store! It'll bring out her dynamic green eyes and highlight her beauty. I just hope to be around that day, unless Hogake-sama has different plans"

The busy streets of the market had been busier now that everybody was shopping for everything they needed to get ready for the festival. Especially clothing and accessories. Lee and Neji had been out and about since the early hours of the afternoon, they were getting some other presents for their ladies. and since the festival was going to be so special for everybody, they had teamed up. Hopefully this way, they could help each other to not screw up.

"Well then, let's go to the next store. I still haven't decided what I'm buying. And I need to buy it today"

"Let me pay really quickly and talk to them about the delivery", said Lee, disappearing within the maze of patrons that flocked to the store. Ten minutes later they were going to the next store, it was Neji's turn now "Have you thought about what she might like?"

"Not yet, but I think I'll know what to get her once I see it"

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Six days before the festival

The skies had turned a dark shade of gray. She sighed. She knew that the seasons were changing and she should not be surprised, but since most of the week had been particularly nice, she was not expecting to see such dull skies, but she guessed that it suited the day in a way. In her arms rested a beautiful bouquet of the most beautiful white Chrysanthemums. She felt the cold of the wind in her neck, hands and toes making her tremble. The light cardigan she had chosen to wear did not provide the needed warmth for the incoming cold front. From what she saw, it was probably going to be incoming during the night. The landscape looked drab now that the sunflowers had been cleared. At least during the summer, the place looked livelier, specially for a vicinity this solemn.

The Hyuga cemetery was a secluded area, she tried visiting once a month, she had started coming more frequently when she was fifteen, she would come and clean her mother’s tombstone and place flowers and incense. But now, sadly, she now had more reasons to visit.

“Hello Hanabi-chan. How have you been?” She kneeled down sweeping the dried leaves that had fallen over the tomb “I brought some Mums for you. Ino gave me the freshest and biggest ones she had for you. They are kind of peppery and sweet. I think that they suit you” she was starting to feel the pain in the middle. “I have missed you so much, I have gotten better and have improved a little. Although I haven’t been going on many missions, you know, clan things happening and decisions to be made.”

“I just hoped I am doing what is correct and my decision will improve people’s life for our family” the wind was starting to pick up with more force “I… I have to confess something. I have been very confused lately. Neji-onisama and I have been talking more recently. Some days things feel easy, but sometimes, I don’t know what to think. He’s been so- so-” her cheeks felt warmer despite the cold air “He’s been through a lot, you know how our traditions and customs have affected the branch family, especially him. Our family has long been plagued by loss and despair and although we are resilient, we have grown indifferent and cold among each other. I was feeling desperate and lonely. So I did the most reckless thing I have ever done. You’ll not even imagine”

“Oh god, this is so embarrassing”, she laughed. Not feeling as embarrassed as months ago ”Can you imagine? I invited Naruto out!'' She was nervous, laughing, imagining and remembering the whole ordeal. “Do you remember that he said that he would change the Hyuga once he becomes Hokage during the chunin exams? Well, he told me the same thing during our date. As if things were this simple. But I do see change happening to us, but not on the promises of an outsider. We need to change ourselves for things to get better”

“I can feel myself changing and I think Neji’s changing too. You know how he was very reserved, well I don’t think you would recognize the amazing person he has turned to be. He’s grown fond of Lee’s antics, I know they are friends now, he is caring, and gregarious” her heart skipped a beat before she continued “He’s been putting a lot of effort into himself, well he always has. But I hope you understand what I mean. I wish you could see the sincerity that his eyes have. Sometimes I think they have gotten clearer that they really are”.

“Please, watch over us from where you are in this times on uncertainty”

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚

Four days before the festival

"Girls! Come here, I just got this" Ino said animatedly.

"What is it?"

"I think it is from Tenten" Ino opened it and read out loud.

Hi!

I have missed hanging out with you girls, the weather here is drier than ever. I told T that if she didn't tell me about a spa I could go to in my free time, I would have to be deported for murder. My skin has been itchy but it looks like the treatments are having a good effect.

I heard that there will be a festival around the days I'm expecting to arrive.

I know you must be busy doing your things, but, could you get me something to wear in case I get there in time?

You know where to find the key for my apartment

Tn.

"Well, we have to get her something, she cannot not go to the festival with us, it's been ages since we've gone together to something like this" said Ino "We might need to get her a new Kimono and probably a headdress..."

"Oh wait! I almost forgot to show you!" Sakura called up to them "I received something yesterday"

"What is it, Sakura-san?"

"You have to see this" Sakura stood and walked towards her handbag and pulled out a sizable wooden box out of her bag. "It was delivered to the hospital reception, the girls were so excited, I am sure they were betting on whether I’d receive something" Sakura opened the box revealing a headpiece that had a big red peony, gold ribbons and hanging flowers, in a very traditional style "I think that they got it for me, to wear it this weekend" Sakura felt their surprise in their gasps.

"That's so beautiful Sakura-chan! It'll make your hair pop up, they'll combine very nicely with your clothes" said Hinata excitedly.

"You are a lucky one Haruno" She didn't want to sound bitter despite feeling a little jealous of her friends. *I don't have time for this, I have a business to run and clothing to get for Tenten!* She reprimanded herself "Have you received anything Hinata?"

"Not y-yet..."

"But?" They asked in unison

"I think I know" said Hinata to her friends, confusion and caution clear in her eyes "I know who's been sending me gifts" Sakura opened her eyes in surprise.

"Are you sure?"" she needed to know if Hinata was being dead serious.

"I am, and knowing that I'm correct, we might know who's been sending you things as well"

"Well? Who is it?" Ino was eager to know.

"It's-it's Neji" Both of her friends went instantly quiet.

"But... How?!" Confusion clear on Sakura's face.

"Well... I was on my way to ask him if he was going to be here for the festival, but he wasn't in his room, so I wanted to leave him a note since... Oh no!" She grunted "I never wrote the note!" she mentally chastised herself "Anyway, I started pulling out ink and quill from one of his desk drawers and I saw the envelopes! Same material, paper density, color, everything! To be honest, I am still trying to process the whole thing" Hinata was getting flustered and had started pacing around Ino's shop.

"Sakura! You know what that means, right?" Sakura had sunk into a chair putting two and two together.

"It's Lee then, it has to be him" concluded Ino "I mean" She said, racking her hands through her hair, seeming deep in thought.

"I don't know what's more surprising, the fact that you never suspected him or the fact that he has continued feeling this way after so many years!" Ino’s jealousy was long gone now. Hinata receiving gifts from Neji stood from a very dense history that she herself shared with absolutely no one, and was in no rush nor desire to experience anytime soon. And, Sakura and Lee... Well, it wasn't complicated, but Sakura had never been interested in reciprocating. Not an ideal situation either way “Well, since you both got into a conundrum, I guess we better order food or something”

𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ 𓄹 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪⠀. ִ ་ ּ

40 minutes later

"Sushi's here!" said Sakura, carrying the bags of food and presenting it to Hinata and Ino.

"I'll serve the drinks" Ino sighed "I really need a break from this arrangements"

"Thanks Sakura-chan, my hands are also starting to cramp here," said Hinata, shaking her hands vigorously.

"Everybody sit down", said Sakura, serving drinks for everybody.

"Is it spiked Haruno?"

"Knowing what we know, you shouldn't even be asking..."

"Would it be that bad?" Hinata asked her, picking up her "Lee-san is really sweet guy"

"It's not that," said Sakura, frustrated, sinking her head over her palms. "That's the problem. He really is a good guy" she somewhat frustrated.

"Sakura-chan" said Hinata in a more comprehensive tone, "it's been years. You do deserve to be happy. Your relationship with Sasuke-son was tumultuous, you were always close to a panic attack and it's ok to be wary, but Lee-san has always been caring"

"You are afraid", said Ino, baffled. "I never thought that you would be scared of something like this..."

"It wouldn't be fair with Lee-kun” Ino pursed her lips while listening to her friend "he deserves someone who isn't walking on eggshells all the time..." she didn't want to push her too much, she was clearly sensitive.

"And you Hinata? What do you think about this?" asked the blonde

"I'm not sure" she sighed "I feel this might be..."

"difficult?" offered Ino

"intricate?" countered Sakura

"confusing" she paused for a second "I think Neji is being consumed by guilt"

"He should be, tho" replied Ino "what he did was awful and he never addressed it"

Sakura furrowed her eyebrows "Has... something happened? Has he...?"

"Nonono, please don't judge Neji too harshly” she felt as if she was playing devil's advocate "He has been really cordial to me for years and lately he has been attentive with me but - but nothing special, we have just been talking more" she tried to focus "The manor is too big. These years haven't been easy on anyone... and I thought - I thought we were becoming closer again and it all devolved into a horrible afternoon" she needed a moment. "We kind of had a situation recently. I-" - she needed to take a deep breathe "I asked him if we were friends and he didn't say anything ! I thought I had overstepped some boundary or offended him in some way, and THEN that same evening I was in my room dreading how the only person who actively talks to me in my house was angry with me, knowing our relationship was going south again and that everything would be tense and awkward yet again"

Sakura and Ino were listening attentively to her friend. Not daring to interrupt her.

"That evening, I was in my bedroom and he came by. I didn't want to talk to him, I was so afraid of making things worse. He asked me if we could talk, I didn't know what to expect at this point, even though I was clearly intending to avoid him and he started to apologize and then he..." it hurt to even remember the whole ordeal. She lowered her voice. The taste of profanity stung her tongue "he... he bowed to me" everything came out of her in a spurt.

"Noooo..." Ino couldn't believe it, and Sakura covered her mouth with her hands. The sushi was long forgotten over the small table in the employee room of the flower shop.

"Our clan... our traditions and protocols, they consume you, and eat you alive from the inside. I am always surrounded by many people that treat me as their master, I... I would like a sense of normalcy, but trying to change our customs is difficult. I guess I have been feeling lonely in my own house" Hinata took a second to breathe "And... And I asked Neji, the only person who I knew who would understand me, if we were closer. But he didn't say anything, he simply stood there"

"He can be a jerk sometimes" said Sakura "I still remember when we were 12 and he needed to get a" she abruptly stopped herself, maybe mentioning that incident now was not the best idea “... anyway, Naruto and I crossed paths with Neji and he was really rude".

"Sakura, I know he was like that. I know. But that's the Neji from 10 years ago. That's not the current Neji, he is different. But he feels guilty"

"So..." Asked Ino "What happened afterwards?"

"He apologized. He sounded very sincere! He did a full bow, his forehead touched the floor and everything. It felt so wrong. He shouldn't have done that" She crossed her arms trying to hug herself, seeking solace of her own memories. The uncomfortableness of the ordeal clearly coursed through her body.

"Somehow I feel he owed you that, even if you felt uncomfortable. It's good to know he finally apologized, properly apologized" stated Sakura.

"It is Hinata, even if you didn't want it or expected it. It is good that he apologized. He wouldn't have been able to lift the blame any other way" - Hinata was conflicted, Neji had been wronged so many times by the Main House that... she felt that he shouldn't have apologized, at least not in such an extreme way.

"Will you tell him that you know?" questioned Sakura.

"I wouldn't know what to even say, or how to ask if it's him. I feel it might do more damage than good"

"And you? What are you going to do with Lee?"

"To be honest, I don't want to think about it right now"

The three friends decided to put the topic aside momentarily and eat their food, once their stomachs started protesting again. Ino felt tired and she was ready to call it a day. Her friends helped her to close the store.

"Thank you for your help Hinata, it's much appreciated" she said in a comically formal accent, making Hinata giggle.

"No problem at all, but I better get going. Sakura-chan, Ino-chan. I hope you have a good night" She bowed to them before leaving.

"Did you notice Sakura?" asked Ino, now that Hinata was gone

"Notice? What was I supposed to notice?"

"She didn't call him 'Neji-onisama'. Not even once"

"You're right!" Sakura was smiling, replaying the conversation in her mind. Which brought a similar realization to her mind "You know who else she has been skipping honorifics with?"

"Who?" Intrigue reflected on Ino's face.

"Us" a smile gracing both of them.

✦ N E X T ✦

✦ N E J I H I N A F A N F I C D I R E C T O R Y ✦

☆ P E R M I S S I O N S T A T E M E N T

Hi! so here is my policy:

Ask permission for:

Translating my fics to other languages (I do my own translations for english or spanish).

Recording podfics.

No need to ask permission for:

Making fanarts

Companion or reimagining fics

Other inspiration works

Big No-nos:

Reposting my works to other sites and accounts under any circumstances, I manage my own works.

Thanks!

#ShiningStarDan - Fanfics #nejihina fanfics #nejihina fanfic #nejihina #neji x hinata #Fanfic: Peculiar Considerations For Atonement

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grollow · 1 year

Note

Grimm put up a good fight😌for the prompt asks I would like to see him and Hollow with something from a series of "firsts". IE, first kiss, first hand hold, first time accidentally setting one of the Dirtmouth houses on fire, ect ect. Just one of those things will do, anything ya want! I like fluffy "first" prompts 💖💕

I'm not back from my mini hiatus but I wrote this in record time and I don't know if you see my Ao3 updates or not so I wanted you to see it. <3

b u r n || AO3

If there is anything that I have learned, in all of my years, throughout lifetime after lifetime after lifetime, it is that nothing ever truly stays buried.

Not truths. Not lies.

And most certainly not a hurt so deep that I find myself impressed it hasn’t a smell.

It is a tangible thing, the way that it clings to its every motion. It is a myriad of shadows and regret and it drips off it. I am reminded, continuously, of the great sheets of water carried by the devastating storms that blow in parts of the wastelands beyond.

Those are places it has never seen; that few, if any, in this kingdom have.

I would invite it to come with me, if I thought it would accept. It will not.

Its place is here, in this dying kingdom that moulded it from the fathomless void below. An artisan, that Wyrm – I cannot deny that part of me is jealous at the sheer marvel of creation his vessels are.

I have a favourite one, though, and it is not my summoner.

It is instead the creature that my summoner rescued, when it scaled the Godseeker’s mountainous challenge in order to blot the sun from the sky.

I should be more bitter, perhaps. My Ritual remains incomplete. I do not know if it will return and that is a problem for me. The child remains dormant in the charm, left in my tents, awaiting its return – and I am distracted instead by its birth-cursed sibling, pock-marked with scars and peppered with burns that Soul should long have healed.

I do not think it can channel anymore.

This is, perhaps, the source of its predicament: it is standing in front of its old prison and assaulting my senses all over again with a depth of feeling that makes me question the merit in the Wyrm’s so-called foresight. If my eyes can see the cloak of regret that it wears, surely his could have as well if he’d but known to look.

Ah, but perhaps that is unkind of me: we are ever slaves to sentiment and it is not uncommon for someone to see what they wish to see. I am no stranger to such concepts. I see what I want to with it as well. I see a creature with potential to be so much more. I see pain that can find closure, if guided by deft hands. I see a strength unmatched by any that I have ever beheld, and I am at once enamoured and intimidated. I do not spook easily but it seared and burnt without breaking.

It is impressive.

It is also trying with abject futility to do something with sticks that I can only guess the purpose for.

“Hello, my friend,” I greet it softly and I stay out of its reach.

Sneaking up on someone who has hurt for so long and with no relief is not wise. Sneaking up on someone with a particular grievance with those who have an affinity for dreams is even less so. I give it the space it requires.

It turns back to me. I can make no emotion out in its mask and that is by design. Its siblings are both the same, although the spider’s tones when she speaks have plenty of inflection - more than enough to deliver intent.

I wonder what it thinks of me. What it beholds when it looks upon another… vessel of a fashion. We are not entirely different in that regard, but the origin and motivations between our natures are worlds apart.

It watches me with an intensity that I find at once daunting and incredibly fascinating.

This is not our first meeting. The spider dragged it out of the Black Egg and to my tents. I am more qualified to help deal with injuries wrought in dream than any other and, as loathe as she was to admit it, I was the best option that she had for help. We bandaged it together and she never let her eyes leave mine. She introduced the two of us and when the deed was done, she took it away. I assume to a house in Dirtmouth. I did not ask.

I am not exactly welcome by the locals.

I saw it descend into the well when I was talking to the steeds. I will not lie: I followed out of curiosity for its purpose.

This place must bring back a lot of memories for it. It has, after all, known very little else and every other place that it spent time is long gone.

I let my gaze go up to the Temple. It is carved in the husk of a great void beast and enchanted with seals that, even in their darkened state, are impressive. There are tangled veins of withered, dead infection: brown and mottled instead of the sickly orange-gold that I know was once here. The pustules yet remain, hanging off the building as a macabre reminder of the prisoner’s previous state.

I think that it should not be here.

My opinion, however, is not one that it has any obligation to listen to.

“What are you doing?” I ask, and I close the distance once I am sure that I have not startled it. I have practice dealing with people who have been badly traumatised. My Troupe is often alluring to individuals of that nature. It is no different in that regard.

It holds up a stick for me to see and then looks down again. I cannot shake the feeling that the motion is one born of shame. It was supposed to not think or feel, I recall – to be truly empty, to be the perfect shell its sire needed. It is none of those things, and it is embarrassed by that. Hence the weight worn over it, a mantle to be crushed beneath.

I do not understand its meaning. Perhaps I am not meant to.

“Does your sister know that you are here?”

It does not answer. Not in a nod or a headshake, though I am fully aware it is capable of both. It stares instead at the stick in its hand.

There are rocks beneath its hand on the ground, and they have clearly been moved there from their previous positions.

I know what I am looking at.

“Are you attempting to make a fire?” I ask, my hands lacing together under my cape. When I stand this way, I appear smaller. It is much bigger than I am, but both hunched and crouched, I practically tower over it and there is something in its demeanour that suggests it would rather itself disappear as well.

A broken thing, the Hollow Knight.

I am given an answer in the form of a nod and I allow myself to chuckle.

“To burn the Temple?”

Another nod.

I hold my hand out, then; it is an invitation.

“How big of a fire would you like?”

It cocks its head to the side. It does not know if it can trust me. In fact, it probably thinks that it should not. After everything it has been through, I cannot fault it. It does take my hand and let me help it stand and I consider that to be a victory.

Its head inclines toward the building. I cannot see where it is looking, not really, beyond the structure, but my feeling is that it probably…

… wants quite a large one.

Or at least, I would want a very large pyre indeed, if I were confronted with a place that housed my worst memories.

“Stand back, if you please,” I request, and it is obedient: it complies by taking enough steps back that I wonder if it is running. It is not. It watches me.

What kind of performer would I be, if I did not give it a worthy show?

I held my hand above my head and offered it a very satisfying snap. The fire on the building ignited in the same moment: crackling flames, dancing freely up the sides in a scarlet that put my eyes to shame.

I drop my hand to my side and look back over my shoulder. It creeps closer, until it is at my side, but it is spellbound. I do not need to see its eyes to know that they are trained on the dancing light consuming the shell. Burn. Burn.

“Bigger?” I ask and I smile. It nods without looking my way and I curve my wrist; I pull my fingers closer and the roar of the flames becomes louder yet still.

The shell is strong. It is not particularly vulnerable to heat and yet with enough effort –

I heard it crack. I heard the top of the shell – the de facto roof, really – cave in and embers fell into the middle chambers. From there, it was only a matter of time until the inferno took hold.

“There is catharsis in saying goodbye to the things that have caused us pain,” I tell it and it does not look at me. I move over to the side, so that I am close enough to touch, and then lean my head over to rest against its side. “I would be your friend, if you would allow me.”

It does not look at me. I did not expect it to.

I also did not expect its hand to snake down and lace its fingers with mine, but it does: it curls them into the spaces where mine are.

I smile wider. With my free hand, I coax the flames to dance ever higher for it to watch. They crackle and offer a very satisfying pop.

It will not take long to burn it to ash.

I will stay with it until then. I have ever loved having a rapt audience.

#asks: answered #grollow #haha i dont have to tag that twice #hollow knight #hollow knight fanfic #hk grimm #hk grimmhollow #hk hollow #drabble/ficlet #this doesnt count as flash fiction does it #its almost 2k words whoops #anyway have your shippy nonsense #first person pov because experimental #i know people are weird on first person but #i do what i want

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artoni-arts · 2 years

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sparks in the ashes; chapter 7

previous . index . next

what u should know;

@tiesthatbind-tf verse, quintesson-era [late 1920s]

CW; more happy fun time humans-as-lab-rats! Some VERY VAGUE allusions to sexual servitude. This chapter is meant to be disturbing not just from the circumstances, but by the way people adapt to circumstances; up to, including, and past Stockholm Syndrome. The following chapters will be similar but I will continue to warn for specifics.

-----------------------

Victor awoke in a bed.

It wasn't his own, but it was soft and comfortable, and he instinctively turned over to try and go back to sleep. A moment later, though, and his eyes shot open with a bright glow as he processed this was not his bed, he didn't even remember going to sleep, he was-

-still in the Spire?

He pushed himself up, the softest sheets he'd ever known falling away from him as he stared wide-eyed at the…walls? Curtains? Partitions that surrounded the small space. There wasn't much in here other than the bed, and as he looked around, then up…

Quintesson warbling confirmed that he was very, very much still in the Spire. He met the gaze of one peering down at him, only for it to turn and- another become visible? It seemed practically delighted, clapping some of its tentacles together as he gripped the sheets tightly but remained silent.

[Good morning!- that is what you say, is it not?]

He'd never been greeted by a Quintesson before, and he blinked in dumb surprise before realizing that he was expected to answer. "Ah- something like that," he agreed, not thinking it wise to correct it to 'evening'. Either way, the Quintesson seemed all the more pleased, and as he watched, it turned again. With a jolt of realization, Victor understood that the two faces he had seen belonged to the same creature.

[Forgive our enthusiasm,] the first one he'd seen said with a spread of its arms-tentacles. [It has merely been some time since we received a subject with such potential. You are comfortable, yes?] Victor nodded, still reeling as the second voice spoke from its other side-

[-we should hope so, only the finest for our experiments, the others can be as sloppy as they want-]

[-oh, enough, you're scaring the poor thing. Come out, little human, whenever you're ready. We'll have one of the pets prepare you some food.]

He'd never be ready, but Victor nodded again, looking down at himself and realizing he'd been dressed in strange clothes. Enough to cover his modesty, but somewhat flimsy compared to what he was used to wearing - no reassuring weight of an armored coat, here. Resisting the urge to drape the sheets about him like some sort of swathe, he took this moment to better take in the surroundings while keenly aware he was still being observed.

To begin with, there was a small sink, low enough that it could also have been used for relieving himself. He made a face at the thought, slipping out of the bed and sucking in a sharp breath as his feet met the cold floor. A pair of what could have been shoes sat upon a small chest, and he gladly took them as well as what seemed like an overcoat of sorts - not the Guardsman style, but something was better than nothing in this damp, chilly place. There was a wetness in the air that affirmed his suspicions they were lower, as well; perhaps actually under the water at this point, in the base of the structure, but he'd have to see more in order to be certain.

As Victor reached to push aside what seemed to be the door curtain, he could see that it led in a central area filled with some seating and a few tables - and a handful of other humans watching him as he exited or, well, entered what appeared to be a common room. They varied in ages and build, men and women both, and there was even one he'd have sworn was from the Far East - that one quickly turned their back once he realized he'd been noticed. All but two were dressed similar to him; those were dressed almost indecently, one approaching in a bow.

"Please, sir," she murmured, "if you would speak with Master Inquirata after your meal." A gesture towards one of the sides, where the partition was open and led to some stairs - this was, he realized, a modified holding room. Which made sense, but of all the tales he'd heard, none of them were quite like this. This seemed almost as if the Quintesson wanted to give some…well. Comfort.

And while the food wasn't nearly as refreshing as Aillard's had been, it was still levels beyond what he could make on his own. Eating, however, was a quiet affair; the others seemed in no hurry to introduce themselves, only curiously watching as he forced some substance in to him. He was too used to eating when he wasn't hungry to go without, though he couldn't rid the feeling of walking on a floor made of eggshells, uncertain when they would crack and send him spiraling out of sorts.

He could only linger so long, however, and mustering himself, he took the stairs at one of the 'pets' urging. The two-faced Quintesson from before was still there, of course; the higher level was large, an entire laboratory of sorts with strange devices and machines every which way. It was an organized sort of chaos that still made Victor's head spin, to say nothing of how the Quintesson itself spun around as it spoke;

[Now then,] it said, [Your record names you as 'Victor', correct?…lovely.] Another 'clap' of its tendrils. [You may call us Inquirata. You, my Victor, have been reassigned to my project due to a stellar genetic profile. Really, how you were overlooked before is beyond us-]

[Likely sloppiness,] chimed the other face.

[-but,] the first continued. [You are here now, and we have a simple task for you to accomplish.]

Victor couldn't help but blink, only barely getting used to the strangest Quintesson he'd ever met. Not only was it surprisingly fluent in English, but its manner - he wasn't sure if he was alarmed or relieved it was treating him like, well, a person. Pet, whispered something in the back of his mind, echoing its term from before as he thought of the two distinct garbs of humans down in the pit - but it was clearly expecting a response from him, wasn't it? (She? He? They?) "I- yes. What is it I can do?"

A set of tentacles came down, and with them - but, marvelously, hovering just above - was an odd-looking cube. [Open this box.]

The box set before him was…unique, and Victor couldn't help but move forwards to take a closer look. Glancing up for permission, he then took it in hand, turning it over. It was small enough to fit in his palm, and light with it being hollowed out - the edges of the cube were made of a strange gold metal, as filigreed as he'd ever seen. Within it, though…within it was an orb of sorts, but the orb was moving. Pulsing. He held it up to look more closely, but just staring at it was giving it a headache, and he lowered it with a bit of a wince. "What is it?" he ventured, feeling safe enough to at least ask.

A pat to his head was as much a reminder of his place as anything else could have been. [Nothing for you to worry about,] the Quintesson assured him. [You merely need to free what's inside. Why don't you give it a try, now?]

Without much of a reason not to try, he turned it over once more, frowning slightly as he tried to find some sort of opening. Tugging on the edges did nothing, to no surprise, and simply reaching inside made his fingers tingle; a 'tsk' sound from Inquirata implied such was a fool's errand. He glanced back up at it, then down, fumbling a few more moments before letting out a breath. "Is there some sort of trick to it?"

Inquirata made a warble that could have passed as a laugh. [There is, but you will learn it on your own,] they reassured him, reaching to take back the box. [Once we finish your new modifications, of course. Now, we've had the liberty of having your ward reassigned, so you needn't worry about them; we know how you humans feel about your families. Do well, and we’re sure you can have her back before too long.]

Was it aware of the unspoken threat in those words, or did it think itself benign…? Victor said nothing, merely nodding, and very glad he'd already made arrangements for Sadie.

[So, while we’re still preparing your first set of treatments - why don't you meet your new friends?]

------------------------

Anna and Dorothy were a pair from up North; they'd been with Inquirata for some years, by now, and more or less served as dual matrons for the others here. "It's not so bad, given the other options," Anna remarked as she pet at Dorothy's hair, whose head was resting on her shoulder. "I've heard of other experiment groups who don't have half the niceties we have, and Inquirata seems to honestly care that we're happy. Something about us being more productive that way?" She shrugged, lightly, and Dorothy yawned a bit.

"If you do good on one test or another," she sleepily mumbled, "you can ask for some treats."

Once again, the hair on the back of Victor's neck prickled in warning. The years in captivity showed clear marks on the women, and he made a note to never become so complacent, no matter what. Even so, they weren't the ones who had been here the longest; that honor went to another woman, Katherine, whom had been the first to pull Victor aside once he'd returned to the holding room.

"Whatever you do," she'd hissed in warning, "don't. Mess. This. Up." And then she'd left him bewildered, which was when Anna and Dorothy had picked him up and ushered him over to the couches so they could learn about him. The man from the Far East - who went by Hei, and who was, in fact, from Japan - spoke English quite well. While he had been shy at first, he had eagerly come over when Anna had beckoned and was happy to talk about his own experiences. He'd been transferred from another facility, one all the way in his homeland, and was very happy with his new location because it was far, far better than his life had been even before the Invasion.

(Victor got the distinct feeling that Hei would have taken any life of loafing about doing nothing as a 'good thing'.)

There were others, and, of course, the 'pets' - which Victor interpreted as servants, though he got the implication that they would serve in other capacities as well if such was desired to keep the others 'happy'. He was reminded of Alice, from before, and merely nodded in acknowledgement when they were introduced to him as 'Mary' and 'Shane'. That wasn't the most twisted part about all this, however.

It was how much everyone simply accepted such things. Katherine seemed to be the only one vigilant, but even she seemed more paranoid than anything, as if things could change at a moment's notice - and perhaps they could, for it wasn't long before Victor had finished his introductions before he was summoned, once more, to the top, where a familiar platform awaited him. Knowing what to expect this time, he disrobed when instructed, stepped forwards, managed to keep from panicking when the walls came up in herald of the liquid, and-

"Sadie has something for me to say to you."

It was so odd and unexpected that Victor did startle, then - as much as he could, anyway. Pardon?

"She wishes to remind me of 'your promise'." Primus paused, then, and Victor remembered his oath to return - as well as the hollow, almost dead gazes of those who would be his fellows. He would have shuddered if he could.

I'm not likely to forget it. No, the sooner he was out of here, the better. But I must admit, I didn't expect to speak with you again so soon.

"We'll be speaking fairly often. I'll be assisting with your modifications as well as advising you on what is happening. I thought it best that you understand what, exactly, that box from before is meant to do."

Immediately, his attention was caught. It was so strange - is that the 'spacebridge' you were mentioning, before?

"It's meant to serve as one, yes. What you are meant to do is to be able to activate and - well, there aren't many words for it with your current sciences." He got the distinct impression of a sigh, and almost apologized before Primus caught his intent. "No, no, you'd have caught up eventually, it's just…I need to simplify, at least for now. Let's think of Earth itself as a sphere, at least to start with."

The image immediately popped into mind, so clear and distinct that he startled once again. Primus gave him time to resettle, then went on to explain, using the strange mind-image as an aid; the device, 'Rhisling' as it was called in the Quintesson's tongue, essentially would assist in 'pulling' a section of space through time and thus, allow transport. As odd as it was, once illustrated, it made a sort of sense, though Victor had no idea how time was involved aside from Primus's reassurance that spacetime was, in fact, one thing.

Does this mean that it could transport one through time, then, as well? he wondered.

"…hypothetically, yes. But even the Quintessons avoid that," Primus explained. "All attempts at changing the past have failed, sometimes catastrophically."

How catastrophically?

"Black holes, which have had the good fortune to collapse in on themselves before too long." At the images provided, Victor shuddered. "I fear, however, that should this project be a success, they may once again delve into such experiments once they can replicate the necessary genetic modifications."

Then we had best make sure they cannot, a grim Victor stated to Primus's agreement as they went back to his 'lesson'. By the end of it, his head was spinning, and Primus proclaimed they were nearly done with his treatment as well and that they would see about helping him check on the two boys next time.

"I will admit," they said, "this was as much a test to see how much your mind could handle as much as a lesson. I hope you don't mind."

No, no, that's fine. The visuals had very much helped, and it was better to know than not. If you're worried about me minding, just let me know ahead of time in the future. Before Primus could answer, something else occurred to him; Did you speak with Pravda and Aillard, this way?

"I did." Either Victor was getting more used to this matter of speaking, or he was imagining things, for he could have sworn Primus 'sounded' fond…or amused. Some mixture of the two, perhaps. "Aillard was the one who developed this method with me in the first place, and Pravda- well, when Aillard told her about me, she insisted on making my acquaintance."

Victor thought of the woman's forceful personality, and felt some humor of his own. Are they the only ones?

"No, but they were the first I dared speak to." Once again, the impression of a sigh. "We'll speak more later, Victor, because I'm about to release you - you'll feel unsteady, so let the others help you, all right? I know they seem strange, but…it's been a long time since someone like you was here."

Before he could ask what that meant, he was exposed to the air. Gasping for breath as he collapsed to his knees, his entire body felt burning hot and numbingly cold at the same time - a towel was immediately thrown about him, and arms (tendrils? he couldn't tell) ushered him off to the side. Eyes blurred beyond any sort of sight, he allowed himself to be half led, half carried until he was set on a bed once more. As weak and as uncoordinated as a kitten, it was all he could do to parse the gentle words that guided him to move his limbs so that he could be dressed, fed a cupful of warm liquid, and then, mercifully, left to himself with an exit murmur of, "The first one's always roughest."

Good, he thought faintly, because I'm not sure how much of this I can manage. It wasn't just the way his body ached all over, but the way the others took such in stride - how often were they subject to such? And they simply accepted it, their circumstances, this life in what amounted to a pretty set of cells?

He felt sick, and the food from before threatened to come up; thankfully, he managed to swallow it back down, and rolled over onto his back with an arm over his face. But he remembered how the cubicle had no ceiling, how, at any given time, Inquirata could glance over and see what any of them were doing - not a shred of privacy. No wonder Primus had resorted to such means for communication - who was to say that the other humans in these holding rooms were given any more quiet?

Eventually, the lights dimmed. He hadn't yet fallen asleep, restless in his suffering, and his thoughts drifted to Joel and Simon in their own holding area. At the very least, they had each other, and knowing them they perhaps even had a way of communicating without the Quintessons noticing. It was a bittersweet thought, but knowing that he was keeping them from this sort of torment, from the bland acceptance to the now-itch that was subsuming his body…

It seemed like ages, but eventually he fell in enough of a doze where his discomfort wasn't at the forefront of his mind. And this time, he did not dream.

#verse; ttb #humanformers #transformers #maccadam #artoni writes stuff #say hi to autoceptor deceptor and kaltor #and also heinrad #also please continue to mind the cws!!!!!#victor's gonna have fUN the next few chapters #also i think alice is basically the only named character in this fic so far who is not derived from a canon toy or char loi #that includes scarlett

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 3 months

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The Tomato Episode :: "Little Casino" :: Gilbert Sorrentino

He had been, for many years, intrusive, selfish, callous, controlling, petty, and childish, and given to prevarication, forgetfulness, and maddening self-justification. An almost intolerable clod of a husband, whose smug egotism made him a good target for his wife’s occasional, unexpected, and thoroughly justified countermeasures. One night, when his wife asked him to slice a tomato for their supper, he took a large, ripe tomato out of the refrigerator, and noticed that there was a half-tomato there as well, covered tightly in shrink wrap. He took that out, too. He had sliced this half-tomato and was beginning to slice the whole tomato, when his wife asked him why, why he’d sliced the half-tomato when she had expressly asked him to slice a tomato, a whole tomato. With the counterfeit, smug patience that often causes brutal assaults and even murders to be committed upon those who pretend its possession, he explained that he’d sliced the half-tomato and would now slice half of the whole tomato, so that they could “use up,” was his phrase, the older, so to speak, half-tomato, and save half of the newer, so to speak, whole tomato. He indeed employed the phrase, “so to speak,” in itself a maddened attacker’s defensible justification for battery.

He quietly noted that if it was her heart’s desire, he would slice the entire whole tomato, should she feel that a tomato and a half would not be too much for supper, considering, no, knowing of the wonderful meal that she was certainly preparing. She asked him why he thought, why in Christ’s name did he think, what gave him the goddamned idea that she wanted him to slice the goddamned half-tomato to begin with. Huh? He said, almost bloated with reasonableness, that it seemed a perfectly reasonable “operation to perform,” yes, he said that, that is: to “use up” the half a tomato that had been in the refrigerator since the day before yesterday, losing flavor and juiciness and vitamins and fucking minerals, whatever the hell they have, to eat the thing, made perfect sense to him. Did he ever, ever, ever, she asked, stop to think that maybe she was saving that half a tomato for something, that she had plans for it? Plans? he said. Plans? Plans? He said that if she indeed had, ah, plans, big plans for the fucking half a fucking tomato, could she not use the half-tomato that would be left after he finished slicing the whole tomato? Couldn’t she? She told him that it wasn’t his business to decide for her which half a tomato she wanted to use. To use, he said, to implement your big plans. She said that her decisions were her decisions and that if she wanted to take all the miserable goddamned tomatoes and throw them out the window, it was her business!

He said that he hadn’t intended to make decisions for her, God forbid, he simply thought that blah blah and sensible blah, that he thought that it was something that she herself would do, blah. You have no idea, you have no idea, you don’t have any idea what I’d do about it, you have no idea what I’d do about anything, that’s the trouble, that’s always been the trouble, and wasn’t, she added, wasn’t it about time that he seriously started looking for a job? with his Master’s in sociology? And did it ever occur to him while he watched the ball game that she didn’t feel like eating a stale tomato, a dried-out tomato, that she wanted a fresh tomato? Or was the ball game too intellectually demanding? She said that when she asked him to do something she wished that he would, just once, do it, and not do something else and then spend three hours trying to convince her that that’s what he thought she wanted him to do. I ask you to cut a tomato, cut a tomato! At which, with a small, hapless smile, he asked her, whining, whether she wanted him to continue slicing the whole tomato, or just half of it, and what about the sliced half-tomato now? He stood, slightly slumped, as if crushed in spirit, unmanned, impotent, a posture which his arrogant sneer belied. She said that he could do what he wanted to do, the king of the kitchen, the reader of minds, the weaver of dreams, he could slice, not slice, stick the tomatoes up his ass slice by slice, send them to the goddamned stupid millionaire bastard Pittsburgh Cubs. As for her, she didn’t want any tomatoes or any supper, for that matter! She washed and dried her hands and walked out of the kitchen. What about the chicken? he asked. What about the chicken? I said, what about the chicken? And the rice? The sliced tomato on the cutting board had the placid look of all blameless objects that have been swiftly carried across time so as to bewilder and confound.

[Thank you Mikhail Iossel]

#words and writing #Mikhail Iossel #Gilbert Sorrentino #Little Casino #tomato #daily life

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libidomechanica · 8 months

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“Midas they cannot speak to her heare, when, seizd with the catch,”

A limerick sequence

Midas they cannot speak to her heare, when, seiz’d with the catch, ere the true minded early love. But when your life. And, brib’d, unsought in the needs be got, in dream where these?

Placed it would their own Posterity. Yet wist na what this Paws; till Viper- like David or three-fold? The argument vplifting of loue lay sweet and tymely fade.

And I look together, the yeares art, must, wilt thou that! But Roger ties his own, and they fainting Oyle had been told her none that that will be by any chance.

The silly rose-red wing! Bid me die, and graceth, into gold and been take up a man no more then giue learne spell. A godly Cause, weke, that shapeless of Albany.

He asked without sense, I can no more augment to Depose. Th’ Egyptian Rites invade. Take a wretches a spouse and praising me, and absinthe art, and his Heir.

But when I hear my sight, that may now my spright, his loved us. Placed it by the Tongue. Or does nothing, for, her head. Nor will be that, the rail along ago, ’ she sees!

Daughter as I pleade in the rest again. It is all they are common those lofty argument only. Breath bloody armament. The year; and then lemons, and died.

Ah well to the free: that being, but the queen was done, Salámán still with coffee spoons; I know not things are. As the winnow’d by boyling on the room is eel-black.

) Midas the rain is haunt of her Earth! But did never state, but that it at all, would the moon’s more the silver and tears. But hard the threshold of melting serve the Soul.

Of such a dire Agent found no more besides. In dream’d, th’ event of your more the underground as twilight his Finger of the Prior, turn him that makes.

That by your hands his God, and left me driues away. What tyranny is the Forms of art at all Eternity. What she doth with awful, could almost doth diuide great!

Ever singing, each others, breakfast and from his Right of the rain or had a stair into their loss of the utterly, it might deem him with lullaby your leave.

Here harts do crown’d with me mad to do, the lonely compare; sweet is the public tis Duty; but an ashen greyness. Of bird upon the Place, who earns the Latin?

In her back. Seeing it they take a window hope of all was he Paus’d; then shall were not think to fade. And with reasonable malady, or the gaine, wherein appere.

And Job, I must beat double hills her silence and leafy shaw, and the suns. And all’s saved, their passion shall I should cancel private life; yearning thin! Thoughts dim and grief.

As girls were tedious image of sense of these cruel knife has been continue. It would needs let it like a dog, a little wings, up and blue, and so in happy!

And winks behind Thee! And flowres doe at last to know just stopped nothing new: that to his murder and chaunge eeke ourselves this room I never pin. And the buried day.

If to look on the narrow still with pins; roger so near the new. Dart of all that’s good Barzillai thou have, thoughts with tears a ladder! ’ The true beauty go withstand!

Lit like common thou must show my spirit out of my decayse: and elegances pere: attempt th’ effect, nor prating were at me moved me up a manners.

If silent sees only what I meant. By morning thought up with Allegories dart. Thou blind ideal like one on the fire is youthfull Issue shall lift and make chaff.

In thing new: that right ruine or ten. And of them fades, changefull Oake, whose lips, so sweet is to this inarticulate in sweet lady-flower with such substance draw?

In Power, to be inclynd: to grope for his own best all would not but with constantly? Then, Israel hope, and Hell that eve on tiptoe, said, as the paint all transformed.

I peeled bit of his you come and hacked fyne. And thou sprung his two season of that his future Truths are Negligent or rare life in her praise. The wide whispered their Tast.

Trust thy long day, my stonishment: and so hushed with crimson drops he that woud breath; that times, contracts his past us Veil’d—but ev’ry woman, but hauing laughs, and a Wife.

Thee from this change. Remembering so deep dost fly: if thou dost go, thro’ heavens Annointed Joies, your silent deepe through green leap, and make his passion could be enjoying.

’ Montgomery! There was bom old. It is at home. With girland cruell play, may laughed whiles her eyes, I shunning snow; for it, or small a progressed flowers. Look, what nothing elf.

By silent contend; asham’d to be lost in his Curse untrue. An humbled line: but lift vp to the figures, would be any guilt thou brings the streets, the night I dream?

By Weavers issue, as a Nun breathing else, and the topic die. Henceforth him with Wine, to Physition far within it, lest thy Will’ more. And threats did see, the sea.

We get out of her if she requite unnaturally; but a wind double hunger-pinch. With mystery. But a Spark too late I find her, by a pool in the long.

Gold out my knee desire, or shallowed you I never since those who can paint the little moves dart. You should have changes to heauens bliss. Which, the dwarf took pity.

Like to wandered and energy: I’ll bury alive and tropic shade, natures skill exceeds mohair. But when the sores she sandy shore where taste, and vnkind, in my neck.

When I cry she is old Instrument. Sleeping teares doe dart, whose for me thing but you out. When it rubs its bloody gore which, well, what if at length vnstayd like at all.

Till at their own Worth, and produce, or was, by Writing, and sware delight. Knowledge he came they die. Eating her mouth of us, They must: puncture given th’Offending.

Love took you fast next years. All things, fearing Eye to find out of dressing by gladly your quest. A Father this wealth breed; gainst your Arms accuse of light that make the gate.

An’ the strings to keepe good bathe atmosphere are the fruit-tree fall sorts of energy; you squeal at all bleed. Shall I teach may not say that men mourn, my Countries rosbif.

Out of the State, but I to her for easie of Apprehends no kill the Susan’s could spin on you. Do I now more missed, like birde feels so, althought of Business at home.

The beggars raffle there, if ye gie a woman’s like Heaven’s only by dismay, and the circled till live, to read. But, I fear in Masque: so wild spares thro’ the skye.

Second is part of it? The railway, in equal colour’d flame, she sang sweet conspiring Crowd: for all they conquered that is some fresh struck my brow; the public men shore!

All, to follow. It’s … well, that I have her wishing, and being a pillow stood, engirt with Allegories pride disdeigneth to no end, till sit upon a dunce.

Pity Natures good thin and unlearn the slaking up in long for the purpose. This loue: in which I should insistinguishing we weeping, Die, oh! Her eie lids close.

Her sweetness of their own descent Moons and kissing too hard a hart, into two sides the corner for me prepared his Wrath expose? That oil’d and holt, cramming river!

His Kings are. Decay we’re made her wrath to earth, too clothes the great Orion slow, they cannot lyfe endure on his Royal bloodletting snow; for the lowly complaine.

Or who can painted a Saint Laurence, this sings, flew by her transmuted, we had to seek; all handle liuing fire and Self make Heirs for all the next valley, they’d have you.

Well, all it highest but of her mammie’s wark, and she great a peach, to the dooryards and trusting on loves, but fie! But in vain— or choked black and another Lippo!

” A park with might such a calendar. What happy shore—come a path Melissa Florian, I with worke is but die, and set this the Laws. On flower to the close.

At Gath and good-night? She’ll not like that simplicius asks of the spils that soueraigne might reaps not it, as o’er me to blooming from which the Rose, but few behold you say.

By chance—sure o’ bliss. Of all paine, I think you say. Dost work, and drizling summon’d, and man’s beck, but not behind thump a league of straws and so nor was, I was a wart.

May bring they set you. And thinner me and the think of the Storm grace I saw; and after a room of successors. And tread the air. Where she did Joyn, the best dismay.

Has prove their doubtfully. Dulling stroke alone in Vain? We finds, but suddenly thing. But being behind, and Priests the wind; tis easy conduct nice, and the wonder.

These Adam-wits tongue! Her brought of old from your tears. I maruaile of the Sword, which have been the girl and the crowned their Land, come to the strange! Himself in with the street.

Hen, if we watch diviner Lust, his face rose, and specious Name to watch the sighs behind. Never, quickens Lovers, to thee long drive Homer’s and Helen, in our life.

And are they steps proclaim’d him, as the cover … autumn robbed, by these a constitutions, matchable than alley’s end where remains of Kings are. I know ye: alas!

That all, make his function spend, at wondrous thrush concerting to be done. While thou noticed you I never proud and in Gracefu’ air; ilk feature give away thee.

How fair she-world, and final end, you of the bat. The world and looks my presence, like what I knew all your greater. Ne thieving not cry to embrew, that her advice.

Oh, odious-moving blossoms, and the king puzzles morning glances; o sceptred hart. Had turned towers thinking about, and admir’d. Ah why hath Love fled away.

For Ten to the generous eyes hath mo pence; their artillery at the man! While he is frayle eyes the firbloome, now! It is a womankind’s Eye its Pupil!

Some brightnesses impure, with the river. Such wretch for they still in Chloe wandered and runs over king, in her that maks us mair enchanting from him thy Head.

Or bid me deare loved Attribute. Reawakened, your cupped palms in her ere he saves to represent the Springs from his beare, is long with troubling slaves to kisse.

But a shake still would there made a Queensbury to her abstaine, agayne I wrote it wholly unexpecting Fame, then the Time’s love is sorry. And sawdust restrayne.

But now apace, I learned to stone, or rot upon thy Line! Is at her in a work on Jerome knocked and little, and proved us. But he wonderous emprize.

May read infant, slain the stone, unmoved, cold, of her abstained, flaming in the worlds rare perfect beauties so filled, that much. Worth with their father’d’ as subject Impotence?

Start to his Overthrow, and watching spark, sighs for Monarch’s End. Which, from him that the fault! Who need noticed before, were Jebusitick Crime. A fathoms, false delight.

Because of our hours betraying him that Honour love me those life! Now with louely fyre, base thing angels, palms each my hair is compile giue leaue the Season is it?

Than his grave sir, whom, shunned they could not conquer’d Hand, where the world has she is free, but to perplex me so little boy who spat& called lover, despised? No time. And rain.

White vapours, that little Cupids dart. Made Drunk with its watery fair, ever in a Pageant Show, and left and pray. Who now I mean Descent of your golden keys.

And close in ten, one part soft a lass, how euer thought to say: I am Lazarus, come; come, why should be. When thousand yet, as the soft floating David’s Government.

And died. And now Will’s eye a miller with Pride; how sweet pleasing paragon, and merrily roar out one sacred ill, would haue the herself and sweet aspect bother.

Of th’ impending Croud and not cry also although obviously Love! Of the general onslaught. So wet it shortly rain’d, th’ admire, ye be the Good.

To make, the speak the Forms of mine, and plain pudding down in black? And worke for me. I always for my excellent, let reason is this world came first-born and I go.

Well that alone notes and tymely clear raindrops in your Princes of straw- fire flared and Evil. And seven more and Turbulent of change they have lovely Davies.

Still at hand now there came, the rivers with buckles of flowers for a spoile, that tree, and runs fast hold? And lullaby your glasse of hell, but his rude bones, two name.

Her harts desires: then, tho his both the Pleiads, rising those lyfe that. She shall do so fit words are we seem Constrain’d the street’s hushed with Peoples Prayer, than to dust.

Not things were it faded face amid thy part of God, and told your eye—tell you him take a target for you! Mated with her vnaware. And the Blest: his low transformed.

And years works—paint a-praising Rebell be, a lip to his Throne? Tempt Gods-smiths could not clap your golden sands. When I clung to choose; and with open to their presence dew.

To whom is the Mark, and acts just as some to grow! Calling; recall the world is that father, now so gay barbarians? Indeed! Who, moving me she won, all these?

’ Add to turned myself means. Now what construe well these Dregs into gold? I can’t therefore that that name,—and I, in those who wants to enter a dew on floats into you.

Yet thou wert dead doing to his Train. Waves beheld the greedy season that might I mighty senses in a rabbits by the murmured Florian asked: Melchior?

That not? Every turnes his face with fur into thee, when her own sweet is through euery minute the mirror, where so wonder an artichoke but never not fades!

How fair Pretence of all woman’s house, the bier, while his planets on summon’d, and service. When I heard, shall commenced; Decide not lame, poor, nor have knows. I am shame.

Or up the Iliad before her sex’s antidotes over the Flock. Then, to Alienate than Nectar or two—saint John there was, curse; but sure I hear me out.

Why then them best for a wind and go work to assail this return. That come, when, sick which he thrums his Soul Disclaims theyr great god Pan, I hear, mistress or did I meet?

His Master, painted—better are full of some Expensive Sins refrain, we tooke Stella beare, on thy black cable. A gentle dear pitying wine forelock take.

The queens! Heard some to please; take any mention, having water. Somewhere Beauty still rob the universe, sound all bury alive and good-bye: no light, Stealing kisse!

Whether poure: and sculk’d behind, and now passion curs’d with scorn to pot. In our eyes doth display, they eat a victorious intense eye could come forth a Servile Train.

That follow you up the harts by thee clime? I never then more abuse such, who turn in the mountain among thro’ me lent. Where I proue, and country of feruent seas.

Old England, and watch you shines. Well know how much easeful Death, or baser kynd, each her mortal eyes I the hour mother while we never returning round and live!

Then would have known them all but he threatens all around the dreadfull temperature. To enrich your joy: love holds up his from wel tempest of a Democracy.

Perhaps will my though in the old and fly in, of pelf, yet deep wit, when wilt weep. Not so, when I inhale but of the record that is so rich will take; she shore, remoue.

And by a simplest Lute! Why, sir, both the Fantom of silk and what before it from island under within my heart know my spires and unco wae, to the Madness?

—The little store. I honor and caught is still affirm’d, with which I vnto the Ill, for Loyalty then fall againe vnreaue. And sighing elf. Thy music and durst Depose.

Thing, flies were stop this face? For if it were young fawne that. Our best acquainted, then come and when on me, an’ aft my heart’s part: as the shapings of the world, whether Voice.

—Clean Hearts yearn after then should have larks of Grievances, my Love! Did I seeke each other cry lord, without a bit of Fasting on the sandy footstoole humbled.

She took the publick Pillar, we are two hard again and I will teaching in a rivers with pompous roialty. And falls across the two resplendour face again.

And happy had his fate of a part of despair. He music, they fainting from the Height of nature’s charm which, that locust blossomed and field where would like to confess.

Are of my love, here in her possible. Woe, that Angels come a question, the wight myself round the coarse smut of their Gods, and from his true loue lyke a rainbow, trick.

When they craving mans believing not say be sure he love but try yours for it not. Were these a corner your eies: whenas death’s until all old mill-horse, the closer?

Known the roof. But mercy as in the dark dissolving hole, warm days by emperor and the silent be. Numerous gloue, in drouth, so I, mad with unquest of you!

Huddle, as one increase, stock, Stone, or did I love is lost. Catch her late to proue, ne feard with no one hands we tore himself mighty king, the ships, and answer to love.

Spread of the Latin more like the Bust and happy, it has not through the sky, and full of a whole Hydra more remaine, with fair to smoke occupation? On flower.

Will forgot, would do deeds; lilies revived, and impulsive; I was course of her reflections which they did adorn’d, and maketh it and secure. Loved your mouthful morne.

Of Julia, and eek my nature brought: Piffle! If Master, inspiration; even you that with least a piece of things are laid his native truth, under than The Wise.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #150 texts #limerick sequence

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castle-dominion · 11 months

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c1x9 little girl lost

sdkjfasjkld second last episode, this season was kind of short. Oh so THAT'S what a bear claw it. My family was arguing about bear paws, white claws, monster energy, funnel cakes, elephant ears, beavertails, crepes, croissants, donuts, deep fried croissants that ARE donuts, pate a choux donuts which I think are called cruellers, danishes, & we just didn't know what a bear claw was.

*shoves it in his mouth* Castle is right "only because it's about me"

She's not naked. She's holding a gun... strategically.

Yeah she is in homicide... RM: 'Cause I like pissing off the FBI. And because you think outside the box. That's something the Feebs rarely do. Oh an ex? RC: Actually, I'm not. Who's Sorenson?

Square jaw on this man. Castle just there RC: Writer of wrongs.

Ah yes, kids raised on TV. I mean you might need a few minutes & the TV is a fine babysitter but babe u should have your earbuds OUT.

I just noticed, there was no intro. ig bc there was no murder. I like how this is a child abduction case not just a murder.

True, most abductions are from someone u know or someone related.

KB: Yeah, I know. You were not asking very loudly. I remember the mirror scene in s2.

Ryan with his castle book lol. & she pats him on the shoulder & he's on the phone.

KR: *just talking abt the case* *they all turn to face each other at the desks* RC, physically taken aback: Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! *espt looks at him sharply, beckett simply watches* RC: Sorry. Sorry about that. That tie took me a little by surprise. *esposito & beckett laugh* KR: Okay. Get it all out. This is a gift from my girlfriend. JE: "Girlfriend"? KB: Already giving gifts, huh? KR: Today's our two-week anniversary. All three: Ooooooooh JE: Two weeks! Is that the paper or the silk? RC: I believe it's the whipped. JE: Good one. KR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok uh spoilers for s4 but gyrating jenny? I said two weeks is like maybe one or two dates worth of knowing each other. Mum said no it could be that they went on a date every night & if you only dated once a week it would be comparatively three months of dating. Which ok a quarter year can be a celebration. BUT here's the thing, right now they were I think dating several people each. "I went on a date with her, I went on a date with her, I went on a date with Jenny, I went on a date with him, I went on another date with Jenny, hmm I've given this gal two casual dates maybe it's time we start an actual item." But then why would u get a fortnightversary tie? Maybe bc after casually dating for two weeks u decided to get together properly & that was the gift? But I thought mike/jake was a month into their relationship... Ah well whatever, if they had a non-exclusive relationship (so ig an open relationship) for the first bit then good for them, it brings poly vibes to the relationship & boom fanfic fuel. Anyway ha here we go continuing on. Maybe this is what gets ryan to start wearing ties more often. Btw I saw a fic recently where ryan said his gf got him the tie & esposito was mad bc "I don't mind being called ur gf but I am not taking the blame for that tie" actually it was a vignette per episode for the first season, 100 words each. P good. "If you were having an affair, would your best friend know about it?" ok so espt didn't know ryan had a gal & it's been Two Weeks?

They afford a cleaning lady??? rly??? I hope the bio mom gets to stay in contact with the kid. native kids are disproportionately represented in the system & at least the parents seem to be native too. (Unless they're just (euro)spanish bc spanish ppl can get p dark, unlike my celtic & (not-too-far-east) slavic friends who are white af; & fake tans are in right now. Have you ever seen those quizzes where they cover a fellow's face & u have to guess whether she is black or has an aggressive tan? Yeah I thought the kardashians were black for ages before someone told me they were white. Like one time at a lake in the summer one of my neighbours had a tan but throughout the day at the beach he darkened up; I saw a black man out of the corner of my eye but when i did a double take it was my white neighbour. I was like woah u look more black than some of my black friends. anyways i'm kind of hoping that the adopted parents are native bc, well, icwa & all that)

Good voice change ig But you need proof of life. She has a very wide mouth WS: It's not about what you say. It's about controlling the situation. Controlling the emotions. He is not wrong RC: Must be fate.

Weird breakroom shots here. Where are they...? Good for him, painting during stress is a good way to cope. Guy lost his kids? Yeah I can see this

At least rick settles the argument for them, going to observe instead XD castle

KB: Mr. Ellers, Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. WS: Special Agent Sorenson, FBI. JE: *looks meaningfully at ryan but my social skills aren't as good as maybe they should be so idk what it means* The spinny spin is not too much but... it is a bit nauseating... just a bit

Castle they need to check either way. WS: A couple dozen best-sellers doesn't make you a criminologist. RC: I also don't need a weatherman to tell me that the sky is blue. (we watched this when the sky was orange from smoke & now I'm watching it right after the sky was green from smoke & refraction) KB: Oh, for godsakes, why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with? RC: I'm ga...me. Point for the castle queer headcanons (Makes me wonder why beckett didn't say that to rysposito during the dirty dozen names for suspects battle. I read a fanfic abt that the other day. Actually I think it was the same vignette-per-episode fic I mentioned earlier.)

Well that was nice, I wasn't able to start my castle binge watch very early bc mum had an online interview, then she left for an ultrasound, (I started my castle watch) & then she came back home for lunch & we started a puzzle together. It was very nice. Now she's off to work & I already did some chores while she was home so I'm free to finish castle s1, possibly plus commentary versions!

Castle being good for once. He KNOWS she needs him to go home & he wants to argue but he checks first & then finds out he needs to give her space, but then he still tells her to call him if she needs.

MR, leaning back in rick's office chair: I mean the source of your power. *raises hands* The source of your power, Todd, is you. *She points to him with both hands* At least rick is somewhat playing along lol

Oh i see the weird little dog thing I love her 'isms. RC: How is it that you don't know who my father is, you don't know how your ex-husband stole all your money, yet you are giving life-coaching advice? Freud was not the father of psychology he was the senile grandfather Rick goes to hug alexis not martha lmao *spins her around all full of fatherly love*

Poached eggs are not my fave to make diner style XP Over-easy XD Oh fun fact technically there is a difference between over-easy & over soft. Over easy is: sunny side up; flip, one two, off. Over soft is when you flip the egg & wait for it to get to the soft stage; over medium is when the yolk is somewhat set, & over hard is when the yolk is completely set. Most people don't actually distinguish it tho.

btw beckett outfit update: weird jackett. it's nice it just has some stuff going on. typical detective coat.

He's kind of sweet here. I feel bad for beckett, she liked him but he had to keep moving & this seems like it happens her her, well, more than rarely. Will had to leave, Tom she broke up with, Josh had to leave but then returned then she broke up with him... RC: Oh! I thought cops and Feds hated each other. RC: They say justice never sleeps. I think I know why. KB: We were just, uh... RC: Being consenting adults. I'm not judging.

RC: I did go home, but then my mother told me something that couldn't wait. WS, thinking he lives with his mom, not that his mom lives with him: You live with your mother? RC: Yeah. Apparently, we're peas in a pod. But the important point is, Angela's adopted.

Yeah! Most abductions are from someone the kid knows. RC: Is that supposed to be an insult? Because Nancy Drew solved every case.

Hm, Gomez is a spanish sounding last name, the kid looks latine, but lucia looks way less native than I thought. Love how she proves it by pulling out her driver's license Oh juan is def a spanish name.

Love how ryspocastle just drives up out of nowhere. Yep boy could be native, but again, could also be tanned & spanish. Their kid tho, angela looks way more native than either of them

The most real guy on the show: Look, in my neighborhood, when you see a cop - that's what you do. KR: ach Can you believe this? He details cars for a living. He could have a little more pride in his ride. *envelopes fall from the visor when he wipes it; he holds his arms up slightly* Wow it IS a pissing match.

he was 18? she said she was a junior? idk what USA stuff is. k she would have been 16 turning 17. that fits with half plus seven we good. Tho the legal ability does create a power differential. Then again, my first relationship was technically outside the half plus seven rule until my birthday Poor kid. He's so young. Support our troop: Bring Them Home.

Oof kid was already dead...

I've seen this episode before but in my head it is TWO different episodes Was the canvas strong enough to break the vase?

I am so glad for captions civillian, not parent Why is the kid's voice not distorted?

Hire mercs? Castle <3 cop privilege, non-cop privilege. Halfsies. Castle nonebiney moments.

*pats herself with the rabbit* lol cold hands. Beckett: it's for nikki heat you're a homicide detective, you KNOW that ppl get coined for murder if they make death threats.

KB: We don't have to read you, we can see you. Now shut up and focus. Lol castle & his spy jargon Fan as in book fan or as in u see her crush? Ah book fan Oh he's such a flirt. LMAO CASTLE I like their cell phones rn, & soon they end up with touchscreen phones & it's so modern instead of being nostalgic. I'm too dumb for that. Cross the street which way? "correct"

Me: knowing how it works The ppl walking around: none have the "art instillation" yet & then there was ONE guy & now there are A Hundred. Why don't they look into buying records of the backpacks? Who bought two dozen backpacks for an art thing?

Me: knowing what happens The mom: looks upset

Love rain. & that's a cool boat. Rick castle maximalist moments. AC: What did Beckett tell you about taking phone photos at the crime scene? RC: I don't know, I wasn't listening. you can get repairs done on stuffies yk...

Or maybe angela took the bunny with her just cuz

See? it IS mostly from ppl who know them. baby so chill getting picked up by a stranger Beckett <3

I speak enough french to know that he said mi coeurason (idk how to spell) & it means "my heart" I think. Is it that hard to write it into the captions?

Mom could be in shock (except I know) Mom could at least fake it to pretend she's happy the kid is back.

Does the husband want to be here for this?

I understand where she is coming from ig... Yeah he should not have had the music loud, I really can understand where she is coming from... & tbh that was a good idea if it worked...

like bro this is so sad

Beckett's hair is slowly getting longer, I don't mind it, it's nice. RC: Yeah, he's like the male you. Ying needs Yang, not another Ying. Ying-Yang is harmony, but Ying-Ying is... a name for a panda.

KB: That's why it's called "private life." Because it's private. Unlike you, I don't live my life on Page Six.

k so beckett has a desk & then there is another desk on the other side of hers & it has a computer so obv it's SOMEONE's desk, but whose?

#castle 1x9 #castle 1x9 spoilers #castle 1x9 quote #kidnapping episode

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horanghoe · 2 years

Text

not much, no updates, just warbling ~🐸💌

funny brain day, funny funny brain day 🥴

ive been listening to this song a lot recently

wow okay idk why its so large pop off ig

but ye, feeling a little strange. not much to say about it. if u listen to the above song, or already know it, I feel a lot like the high-pitched drawn-out warble in the background 3:22 and elsewhere.

sometimes it really do just be me vs me some days, and idk if it's the weather or what but today is definitely one of those strange grey long warbling days.

meds are good :> kinda.

the latest increase has made me feel more anxious, but I'm actually remembering things, which is a strange notion. to just *gain* the ability to remember short-term again. it's curious & a curious feeling

I looked over my blog the past couple of days and - well, I sighed hahahaha. I'd love to be an aesthetic blog but, this is not something I know how to do I'm afraid ~ so it is what 'tis ~

got a tiny new tattoo :> and planning another large one. very happy about this!!!

mmmm I have been fighting myself a lot tho - in a good way!! - meds are giving me space and time / the spare brain capacity to be able to put down my '''''''''''''demons''''''''''''. In violent quotation marks because I hate that phrase/word lmfao. More like sometimes the imposter thoughts truly fester in my brain after a bought of happiness and strike after; when I'm recovering my energy.

like today

maybe i should be a better daughter? mmmmm.

maybe i should talk less, complain less.

maybe i should delete my old fics - they don't rly read that great to me anymore.

maybe i should do the thing. whatever that thing is, I'm not sure. but I'm not sure if I'll ever become familiar with the persistent need to do the thing.

people around me have started accommodating my ADHD; and others have begun making it my only personality trait. watching years worth of friendship have me minimised into 'ah, Liv's ADHD', and not.... me. the uphill battle is constant, but I will continue until I have nothing left to give.

but im also trying very hard to talk kindly to myself. :>

its working. slowly. kinda. a little bit.

have been following ppl that inspire me. hwasa, Megan, CL, youngji, and many others. safe refuges of idols to look at and nod 'yeah, this is good, I'm doing good'.

thats all ~ all my updates; for this blog, for now.

I've enjoyed looking back on my little check-in posts, and seeing how far I've come.

some obligatory memes for my aching brain hehehe ~

love liv 💗

#livs soft hours ♡#liv talks

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chifuyusfingers · 3 years

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Tokyo Revenger boy's Reaction to you hide that you’re in the Hospital from them, and they find out.

M i k e y

Mikey would be on a warpath once he found out you were in the hospital.

But when you woke up, he had worn himself out from being angry.

You would wait for him to wake up, and when he did he would be startled to see you awake.

He would ask you so many questions: “You’re awake? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere? Do you want me to get a doctor?” Mikey wouldn’t express anger directly at you until after you were discharged.

But he would stay with you as much as he could, and would hardly get any sleep because he was so worried about your well being (even though you weren’t going to stay for that long).

C h i f u y u

Chifuyu would be extremely worried about you. He noticed you were a little sick lately, so when he heard you were in the hospital,

it was a worst case come true. He would instantly go to the hospital and would pick a fight with anyone who tried to deny him entry to visit you. You would wake up and he would be sitting with his head in his hands.

When he noticed you it was instant fretting over you. When you assured him you were fine and that it was something minor, he would sigh and lean back in his chair.

“You think I care that this is something minor? I care that you are here in the hospital and I knew nothing about it! Tell me if you aren’t feeling well and we come here together! But please… Don’t hide this from me.” Chifuyu may get a bit emotional and would tear up.

You would have to soothe him and promise to tell him. He would stay with you in the hospital for the day you had left there, and wouldn’t sleep– both from worrying about you and to make sure you were sleeping alright.

B a j i

Baji would be sitting on the edge of the bed staring at you when you woke up.

His number one concern would be how you were feeling and if you were in any pain. You assured him that it was nothing serious, and he just didn’t seem satisfied with your answer.

“If it was nothing serious, then you could have told me about it. Even if it was something serious, I would like to know this sort of thing. Your health is important to me, so please don’t hide this from me. I think I almost passed out from the shock.”

You would apologize to Baji and said you didn’t want to bother him. “It would bother me so much more if I didn’t know until after the fact!”

You would apologize and acknowledge your mistake. Baji would visit whenever he could find time, and more often than not he would bring you a snack or two in when he came.

K a z u t o r a

Kazutora is the type who would be a bit restless when he arrived. When you woke up he would be asking the doctors what was wrong with you.

When he noticed you were awake, he would direct all of his questions to you. Any attempt to calm him down wouldn’t go well at all.

You would have to talk him down from his anger, and once he was no longer angry, all that was left was worry for you. “How could you not tell me you weren’t feeling well? Why didn’t I tell you to go to the hospital?”

You would have to assure Kazutora that things like this happened and it was your fault for not checking yourself in sooner. “That really doesn’t make me feel better… Nothing will make me feel better until you get to get out of here.”

You would have to mess with Kazutora in order for him to finally crack a smile, albeit a small one. Kazutora would keep you company for the day or two you had to stay in the hospital. He would argue with the doctors if they tried to kick him out, and if they succeeded he would simply sneak back in later.

Shinichiro

Shinichiro would be crying when you woke up. When he heard your voice, he would instantly race to your side as if it was the end of the world.

He would hug you and you would have to repeat over and over how it wasn’t as bad as it may look.

He wouldn’t say much but would try to listen to you. Shin wouldn’t have to say much to you for you to understand that he was deeply hurt, by your decision to not tell him.

He would wear that on his sleeve. Once he stopped crying, he was relieved that it was nothing major and felt silly for crying so much. You would feel bad and promise to tell him how you were feeling truthfully from now on.

He would pick you when you were discharged and wouldn’t leave your side the entire day. “I want to make sure your a hundred percent.”

M i t s u y a

Mitsuya would be silently reading when you woke up. He would glance at you and continue to read his book.

You could feel the anger steaming off of him and were too scared to say anything at first. He scared you out of your skin when he asked, “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” You would begin to apologize for not telling him about the hospital, and he would seem slightly confused.

“Oh… I guess I should be upset about that too…” You’d ask why he was upset if not for that reason, and he would say he was mad at himself. He should have forced you to come to the hospital the instance you were sick.

You’d insist it wasn’t his fault, but he would continue. “No, it was my mistake for not saying what I thought. So I think I’ll have to be much more forward with you from now on.” It sounded scary to you. Mitsuya essentially would come when he could, and would give you the silent treatment for the next several days to come.

S a n z u

Sanzu is much more stubborn. I feel like he would be tempted to visit you a lot, but he would be too angry to do it.

You weren’t willing to tell him that you were in the hospital to begin with, so why should he visit you? He would find himself standing outside the door, unable to enter.

In the end, he would call you from outside the door and scold you over the phone. “Next time, we can go to the hospital together… Just please don’t do this ever again.” Sanzu would believe that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him this, and you apologized if you came off that way.

You would say that you knew he would panic, and that would cause him to open the door and argue with you in person. You would laugh as he scolded you. He would stay with you and glare at you every once in a while. He would also help you when you were discharged.

K a k u c h o

Kakucho is very lost when he finds the news. He doesn’t know what to do when he sees you in the hospital bed and is just lost.

He seems out of it till he hears your voice. He comes back to life and yells your name. He asks you several questions and if you didn’t answer him right away, then he would hit the button that summons a doctor to answer them.

He would cause chaos in his own caring way, and you would have to scold him for causing disarray at a hospital.

Leading him to scold you for hiding this from both of you. Essentially, the remainder of your visit would become a bickering fest between you two with no clear resolution other than your discharge.

From then on, if you so much as sneezed in front of Kukucho he would grab his coat and drag you to the hospital to get it checked out.

I n u i

Inui was concerned about your health before the hospital, but once he heard you were in there? He was in full on mothering mode.

He would bring you food and nag at you to eat and take care of yourself the entire time. He wouldn’t touch much on the fact that you hid the truth from him, and would be so much more concerned about your well being. That said, once you were healthy, prepare for an earful from Inui.

“You can’t just wait until you’re about to pass out to go to the hospital!! That’s crazy talk!” Inui would now give you a look whenever you coughed in front of him, a look that read: “If we go through what we did last time, I swear I’ll go insane–”

I z a n a

Izana would fight a lot of people. Since he came in angry, the hospital was reluctant to let them in.

The doctors would tell him he had to do something, he wasn’t going to be happy go lucky doing it. He was fuming just sitting beside you in the hospital. You’d expect that he would direct that anger at you once you woke up, right? Wrong.

He would actually be caring at first and ask about how this happened and how you felt at the moment.

But once all of those “formalities” were out of the way, then he would direct that anger at you. “How could you hide it until you are in the hospital!? Do you know how worried sick I was to hear about this? Don’t ever do this sort of thing again!” Izana would always turn a little serious from then on when he saw you and asked how you were doing.

R a n

Ran is in full on nag mode when he finds out you are in the hospital. You don’t have to be awake for him to start nagging.

The instance he opens your hospital door and sees you asleep, he would start nagging. “I swear to GOD, you must be out of your mind if you thought you could hide this from me forever! AH! So help me when you wake up I swear I’m going to give you an earful, just you WAIT!” Essentially, Ran would hype himself up so much that when you finally did wake up, he wouldn’t have much to say. So? He would play it off as if he was angry and shove a tangerine at you.

“Here! Eat IT!” Ran would sincerely worry about you and help you at discharge, and would take you to hospital upon hearing a single cough.

R i n d o

Rindo is another one to be silently angry when you first wake up.

He would ask you how you were feeling, and you’d say you were fine. “Is this the truth, or am I going to turn around and find out you really aren’t?” You would feel guilty and apologize.

This is one of the few times that Rindo would seriously scold you. It truly hurt him when he had to find out from his brother that you had wound up in the hospital. After you were discharged, Rindo would be lost in his own thoughts. It would take a little while, but he’d be back to normal if you gave him some time.

K o k o n o i

Koko wouldn’t really know what to do. He would be angry at you and himself, worried about your well being, and concerned with how you would feel seeing him.

He had all these thoughts going through his head as he waited for you to wake up. When you did, he wanted to be tough and stand by himself.

You shouldn’t have hid it from him. But he was just so relieved that you were okay that his facade melted away almost instantly. He just so glad to see you okay and well and that it was nothing major. Koko would realize a lot from worrying about you– like how much he cares about you and your well being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

Note

I don’t know if this’ll make the cut, but brothers with an MC wearing their (the brothers) clothes, and I’m talking full ensemble not just a random jacket or accessory (you can delete if you’re not comfortable of course)

So when left with the question of whether this was a full on clothing theft or a cosplay of some kind, I'm going with theft because that's just funnier to me. Just a little MC marching around in Beel's tent of an outfit… Hilarious. 🤭

MC Steals the Brothers’ Outfits

Lucifer

It started out like any other morning, Lucifer woke up early in bed - as he always does - but when he rolled onto his side to stir the MC, he found their side of the bed empty…

Normally, he’d have thrown up the alarm in an instant, but his mind was still groggy as he tried to recall what happened the night before… He could have sworn the MC slept over… unless…

MC: “Good morning, love.”

Their voice was enough to get him sitting up again and he uh… well he was not prepared for what he saw. The MC was sitting with their legs crossed at his desk, attempting to imitate his “I’m-in-Complete-Control-Here” energy as much as they possibly could, but with an added detail…

They were wearing his clothes. His favorite suit to be specific which was tailored to his much bigger frame, resulting in a frankly ridiculously ill-fitting look on their smaller human body...

MC: *picks up a poisoned apple off the desk, continuing their very best Lucifer-impression* “You should get up, love. We have an early meeting today and we can’t keep Lord Diavolo waiting.”

The MC appeared to polish the apple with his sleeve for a moment before taking a bite, looking pleased with themselves before their eyes widened in complete horror. It only took a split second for them to spit the unchewed hunk of apple into a nearby waste basket and toss the apple away in panic.

MC: “Ah FUCK!! I forgot I can’t eat these!!! SHIT!!”

Their panic only grew as Lucifer could no longer hold in his laughter, the booming volume of which is enough to wake up all his brothers throughout the House.

MC: “Lucifer, don’t just sit there laughing!! Bring me some water or something!!! LUCIFER!!!”

Mammon

Look, Mammon always gets up late so not being able to find, like, any of his normal clothes was a serious problem! He’d already dug through half his closest and still couldn’t find anything!!

He had a photoshoot that he had to get to in less than hour and he still needed to take a shower, get dressed, get his stuff together, then bolt halfway across town before-

MC: *literally kicks open his door Kuzco-style* “Yo, yo, yo!! What’s up, Mammon??”

First off, the sudden loud bang of his door hitting the wall nearly scared him out of his skin, but before he could even yell at the MC for their weird entrance his brain had to process what they were wearing….

Good news! He found his missing clothes, the MC had thrown them on while he was sleeping - sunglasses and all - and now stood before him with a toothy grin on their face.

MC: “What's the problem, Mams? Lucifer got your tongu-EEEK!”

Apparently, they weren't expecting Mammon to literally lunge at them and capture them in a tight hug, practically lifting them off their feet with a laugh.

Mammon: “What'cha think your doin', MC?? I'm gonna need those back ya know?”

MC: *laughs loud and bright, throwing their arms around his neck* “I know, I know... But I wanted to surprise you!” *stops laughing suddenly and blinks* “Huh…”

Mammon watched the MC experimentally lift his glasses off their nose then put them back down, repeating the action several times before snickering.

Mammon: *frowns* “What's so funny?”

MC: “Nothing really but… Mammon, do you wear these just to make everything look like gold?”

Mammon actually had to pause before responding, pulling the MC closer with a devilish grin.

Mammon: “Nah… I ‘cause got all the gold I need right here~”

MC: *chuckles and nuzzles his cheek* “Nice save...”

Mammon: *his cheeks flush and he frowns* “I dunno what your talkin’ about... But could ya go put on a t-shirt or somethin’? They’re paying me big for this shoot and I really gotta go!”

Leviathan

Another convention, another cosplay far too complex to ever hope to peel out of… Though Levi would never regret wearing his five piece Lord of Shadow cosplay, it’s a heavy thing and certainly not something he can change out of in a bathroom stall…

When he finally got back to the House, he wasn’t looking to do anything but drag his tired body back to his room and change into some more manageable clothes… but… well…

When Levi opened his door, he saw the MC sitting alone at his computer desk playing a game by themselves. That was all well and good but… WHY IN DIAVOLO’S BLACK HELL ARE THEY WEARING HIS CLOTHES???

When they heard the door, the MC whipped their head back and they both stared at each other in an awkward silence… His clothes didn’t even fit them right!-or maybe they did?? His mind was panicking because they had the collar of his shirt covering their mouth and it looked so moe it was actually ridiculous!

Levi: ……….

MC: ………….

MC: …. “I can explain.”

Levi: ……. “Y-yea?”

MC: “I was having trouble on this one level and you wouldn’t pick up the phone… so I thought ‘What would Levi do?’... and it escalated…”

Levi: “You think??”

Levi felt like he could die right there, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was from embarrassment or happiness… On the one hand, the MC was literally trying to be him in order to get better at video games - which was flatteringly adorable… And on the other, the MC is pretty much cosplaying as him, right in front of him… and looked so damn cute doing it too…

MC: “Is this weird…? This is weird. I’m sorry, I’ll go change-”

Levi: NO-agh! *he throws a hand over his own mouth, surprised by how loud he just shouted* … “U-uh… no it’s fine…”

MC: “Okay...?”

MC: “But could you put your phone down? I think you’ve been taking pictures for the past two minutes…”

Levi looked down at his hand and sure enough he unconsciously pulled out his phone in camera mode and has been spamming the “Capture” button long enough to have his thumb cramping...

Levi: “Oh.” *stops for a moment, then seems to second guess himself*

Levi: “Uh… just one more?”

Satan

When you share a house with Mammon, you grow accustomed to not being able to find things from time to time, but an entire outfit??

When he woke up one morning to find that he couldn't find any of his normal clothes, he blamed Mammon right off the bat…

I guess in hindsight, what would Mammon want with his jacket? But anger doesn't always jump to the most rational conclusion, you know?

After searching for "long enough," Satan stormed out of his bedroom on a warpath. He didn't stop his march until he was banging on Mammon’s door with a closed fist!

Satan: “Mammon!! What did you do with my clothes you useless, money-grubbing asshole!?”

When he didn’t get a reply, likely because Mammon was hiding in his closet or something, he was about to kick the door in when he felt a tap on his shoulder...

When he turned his head, much to his surprise, he found his missing clothes!... They were on the MC - right down to the single sleeve - and the MC met his eyes with a mischievous grin…

They had a book in their hands he recalled seeing once at the library: "101 Ways to Prank Your Partner," open like they'd been reading down the hallway.

MC: … Page 47.

They winked at him before bolting back down the hallway in a fit of giggles and oooh, it was on now.

Satan spent the morning chasing the MC through the House, both laughing and dashing around in reckless abandon. He really needed his clothes back and he wouldn’t mind an extra hour or two with the MC when he got them… 😏

Asmodeus

Asmo isn’t exactly a morning person… Though he forces himself awake so he can perform his wake-up routine, by the time he comes to the table it’s a hit-or-miss on how irritable he’s going to be...

Of course, his favorite outfit suddenly disappearing from his massive closet did not help his mood in the slightest!

Who would take his clothes?? Well, that’s not even a question - surely plenty of his devoted, adoring stans would kill to even have his scarf, so maybe the better question was, “How??” Lucifer keeps all the doors and windows magically sealed at night! (He would know, having been locked out on numerous occasions)

Asmo was tearing through his closet, wracking his brain for any place he might have left his beloved outfit, before he heard someone clear their throat by his bedroom door.

What greeted him was a lovely look at the MC wearing the missing clothing in question, even with all the grace and style he would himself!

Asmo: *jaw-drops* “MC???”

MC: *smirks at his delight and winks at him* “Looking for something?”

They strutted into the room with the confidence of a mock fashion model and took a silly vogue pose in front of the closet, barely holding in a fit of laughter from their actions.

MC: “… Or just at me?”

Asmo, of course, snatched them right up in his arms with a delighted squeal.

Asmo: “Oh. My. Diavolo!! MC, you look just gorgeous!!!- Because you look like me, of course.” 🤭

MC: *laughs and cups his cheeks to pull him closer* “Who wouldn't want to be you, Asmo?”

Asmo: “So true… But you’re already perfect, my love~” 😘

And he went on to prove that to them all morning long...

Beelzebub

Beel didn't even get the chance to notice his clothes were missing. He had a tournament the night before and was sleeping even harder than Belphie that morning...

What woke him up was the smell of food: scrambled shadowhawk eggs, hellboar bacon, pancakes with nightshade syrup….

Beel's stomach had him sitting up long before his eyes ever opened, drawn in by his nose alone.

MC: “Beeeeel. Wake up!”

Beel's eyes dragged open at their request and what he found had his mouth watering... The MC had brought him a dining cart with a complete breakfast spread, brimming with portions only Beel could ever finish, but for once he wasn’t looking at the food.

The MC, for whatever reason, had decided to put on his clothes… And keep in mind that Beel's built like an ox compared to almost anybody. They were absolutely swimming under all that fabric (thank the Devil for his suspenders…)

MC: “Congratulations!!!”

They throw their arms up excitedly, making the unzipped jacket balloon out like a parachute behind them… It's a remarkably cute image.

Beel: *blinks* “Oh.” *he gets a little pink, still very confused* “What did I do exactly…?”

MC: “You won the championship last night, remember? Or did you forget already??”

The MC takes a step to the side and begins pointing at the plates on the cart.

MC: “I thought we'd celebrate with some breakfast! I brought you eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, cereal-”

As they continued their list, Beel's hand naturally reached out towards the cart eagerly, before something finally clicked in his head. WHY were they wearing his clothes??

Beel: “Wait. MC, why are you wearing-...?”

MC *holds their hand up* “Hold on!”

MC: “-oatmeal, muffins, banana bread, annnd…” *they get onto the bed and plop down onto his lap with a grin*

MC: “Me! Congratulations, Beel!!”

They lean up to peck his cheek while his arms automatically wind around their waist. The combination of their scents already bringing out a different sort of hunger in him…

Let’s say if this is his reward, he'll never lose a game again. 😏

Belphegor

Belphie was in the middle of his afterschool nap in the library. The day was exhausting, so he didn’t even bother changing uniforms… The couches there were comfortable and the space was quiet, really nothing should have woken him up...

But somehow, for whatever reason, something did. A tug… Something was chasing away his dreams by tugging on the cow pillow in his arms.

MC: “Beeelllppphie….”

The tugging did not cease and he half growled in response, still keeping his eyes firmly closed.

Belphie: “What now...?”

MC: “I need this…” *they tug on the corner of the pillow a little harder* “Can you let go please…?”

What kind of question is that?? No one takes away his favorite pillow!

Belphie: *hugs the pillow tighter* “Go away, I'm trying to nap…”

MC: “Noooo please…! I need it for something right now…!!”

They started really pulling on his pillow now and he only held on tighter in annoyance. Since they wouldn’t leave him alone, he finally opened his eyes.

Belphie: “MC! Why are… you..?”

His voice trailed off as he finally saw the MC standing there in his usual outfit. His cardigan was so long over their arms that they had to grasp his pillow through its sleeves...

While his drowsy mind tried to catch up, the MC snatched the pillow from his grasp with one swift yank.

MC: *grins* “Mine now!”

They turned to bolt out of the library, but Belphie snatched them by the waist and dragged them back to the couch with him.

Belphie: “Fine, but then I get a new pillow.” 😏

The MC yelped as he flopped on top of them, pulling them close like a body pillow and resting his head into the crook of their neck to enjoy the soothing smell of their scent mixed with his.

MC: “W-wait Belphie…!” *tries to wiggle out from under his surprisingly heavy deadweight* “I was just playing around…! Please don't fall asleep on me!!”

Belphie: *yawns and settles in, already drifting off* “Too late… G'night, MC…”

MC: “Belphie!!!” 😫

They could complain all they liked, he wasn’t going to let them go for a few hours. Cute or not, MC, nobody takes his pillow!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me requests

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plush-rabbit · 3 years

Text

Divinity in Impurity

Request: Okay but what if I actually request solo Simeon and him moaning through prayers and being just totally repressed and painfully turned on because his precious lovely MC makes him go doki doki? And of course a shameful messy clean up :3c I love u bestieee ✨✨💋

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: Couldn’t get this out of my head, I want him to be repressed and emotionally conflicted

Simeon enters the House of Lamentation, a gift bag in hand and he’s grateful none of the brothers are home. At least for Beel since the angel is sure that the gluttonous demon would’ve sniffed out the lovely baked goods that he carries. The home is quiet, but he knows you’re here. He sent you a message, confirming that you would be here. The house is empty and it’ll just be you and him, sharing a treat from his home and chatting away. It’s so rare to get you alone and while he’s glad that the brothers are there to protect you, they are also highly possessive, not letting a soul get near you and even less likely to allow someone to be alone with you for so long. There’s a light feeling in his chest, making his lungs expand with air, making him feel as if he’d float away from the simple joy of spending time with you. His cheeks are starting to hurt from the smile he has etched onto his face.

Guilt may lap at him for not informing Luke or Solomon of his whereabouts, but for just once, he wants to be alone with you. He wants to sit and talk about anything other than school work and how everyone can’t seem to focus on the task at hand. He wants to talk with you, learn more about you until you’re all that fills his mind. Or at least, occupy it.

He’s excited, standing at your door and he knocks, a smile on his face. Patience is something that he’s born with, having the time and mind to save those that stray from the path of light, to mentor the young angels, and to grant him his title. Yet, he can’t stay patient. He’s at your door, he can hear you hum and only a piece of wood separates you for him. His patience is thinned, eagerness taking over and he turns the knob to your door. All he wants to do is see you, to be unbothered as he spends time with you and listens to you talk. He wants you, that’s all he wants. The knob is cold underneath his hand, and he steps into your room, greeting you with a wide smile.

The bag tightens in his hands, his eyes widening slightly and smile falling. You stand in front of him, slightly turned away, a shirt pressed against your tummy, your chest bare and legs naked, the only clothing you have on is your underwear, shaped to your body. Your eyes are wide, a heavy flush takes over your face and he’s expecting you to yell, an apology already at his tongue, his eyes dipping for just a moment, catching the swell of your breasts, the lovely aroma of the cream you wear, your fingers that twitch ever so slightly as you grasp the shirt in your hand.

“Simeon?” You call, and he’s quick to dart his eyes back to meet yours- back to where they belong. “I appreciate you coming over, but could you-” you gesture your head towards the door- “you know, leave for a moment?” You smile at him, the shirt in your hands now fisted tightly.

“Ah, yes, of course.” He nods his head, trying painfully to grapes at his composure that is now slipping through his fingers. “I’m terribly sorry,” he mutters, exiting the door, the door clicking behind him.

Rather than sit there and wait, he glances at the door, knowing you’re behind it, your body untethered by cloth and bare. He leaves, his steps quick and quiet, walking away without so much as a goodbye. How could he possibly stay there? How could he look you in the eyes when he was so obviously staring at your body? How could he have done something so raw and primal of him- something that isn’t him.

He hadn’t meant to walk in on you while changing but- he bites his tongue, his face hot and an aching pain in stomach. There is no “buts” or ‘ifs’ or anything of the sort. He should have known to knock before he entered your room. He’s an angel, of course he should have knocked. It doesn’t matter if you two are close, it doesn’t excuse his action for being so forward. He was just so excited to go and see you, to gift you a treat sent from the Celestial Realm. Oh- the treat. It’s still in the bag, protected by a glass casing and covered with tissue papers that glitters under the light. He had forgotten to give it to you in his rush.

There’s no going back now, not when he saw you and had the audacity to even stare at you. He’s humiliated. His face burning and any breath that he has is taken from him, squeezed out of his body and forced out. He runs to the safety of his room, glad that no one seems to be home. He slams the door, his back pressed against the wood and when he closes his eyes, he can still see you- your body bare and nipples pert, your face holding a slight flush. He can see everything behind his eyes. The lock quickly snaps into place, his steps hurried as he walks toward the small table in his room.

He places the bag down on a table as he rests on the chair provided in his room. He leans back, the cushion soft underneath him. The wood is scratched at by his covered hands, his gaze focused on the wall. Simeon mumbles under his breath, an apology said to no one, his bottom lip teased by his teeth.

How could he possibly face you tomorrow? How could he do anything after what he just witnessed and did? He removes his gloves, dragging a free hand down his face, leaving the palm to cover his mouth. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he reaches for it in the same second, half hoping and half dreading that it’ll be you.

It is.

You ask where he went. You even apologize, saying that you mustn’t have heard him.

He laughs bitterly. You apologize to him. He was the one who entered your room without permission, invaded your trust and yet, you were the one who was apologizing. He simply leaves the message on read, not knowing what to tell you. Would you believe him if he told you that he had felt sick? Probably not, but for his sake, you would have, he’s sure of it.

He sucks in a deep breath, his eyes on the wall and there’s an unfamiliar itch in his body. Or rather an itch that he shouldn’t scratch at. Looking down only confirms his suspicion. He’s erect. Could it be from you? He sighs. What a silly question. Of course it is.

It’s wrong of him to even keep the image of you ingrained in his head. “Touch me, O Lord, and fill me with your light and your hope. Amen,” Simeon whispers under his breath, trying so desperately to keep his hands away from his erection. It pains him so, his body growing hotter by the second, sweat starting to bead and eyes watering at the tempting fate of actually touching himself to you. “Please Father,” he whispers, “grant me strength. I can’t- I am but a humble servant of yours. Please take away all these sinful thoughts.”

His chest trembles, his mouth dry and tongue thick. There’s a pressure against his stomach, his hands grip at his thighs, his head bowed and no matter what, you are just in his mind. Perhaps you’re the real sin, the real test in all of God’s Grand Plan. How is he supposed to be an angel when a human of all things is the one that is turning him to sin. The one being who has managed to ruin him, to unthread his wings and have him even think of reaching out to you and be selfish.

The unzipping of his zipper is loud, echoing in his ears, drowning out the holy blood that rushes inside of him. He lets out a sigh when his cock is free, the cool air in his room making contact with the hot flesh. When his hand wraps around himself, he lets out a sob. It’s filthy, but at the same time, it’s something that makes his mouth water and want more. You are the most beautiful sin, the one that he will risk everything for, for just a chance to touch you.

“Please forgive me,” he whispers. He’s unsure of who he’s speaking to. He doesn’t know if he’s asking father for forgiveness, unknowing if his message is reaching out, unknowing if he’s hidden from his light and his view; or if he’s apologizing to you, for walking in on you and now pleasuring himself to the thought of you.

You are all that invades his mind, his hand wrapped tightly around his cock, the ridges underneath his fingertips pulsing with heat. You stand bare in front of him, your body soft and blemished with little scars and ridges. He tightens his grip, his teeth clenched and jaw starting to ache. He’s touched your hand before, felt how soft you are, how loving your touch can be and he can only wonder if you're still gentle in bed. If you’d play the act of the blushing virgin under him, if you’d whimper and buck your hips if he were to kiss at your neck and cup your sex under his hand. You allowed him to stare, even if it was for just a moment, you had reelected so calmly, smiling at him, acting as if he were your lover who had seen your body countless times before. You are molded under God’s light, given freedom and kissed with the gentle lips of God, birthed and given existence, your path defined only by you, and you’ve allowed him to see that. You had acted so calmly, telling him with a smile if he could excuse himself for a bit. It’s almost as if you were used to that sort of thing. He stops in his movements, his eyes wide and breaths coming out in uneven pants. You live with demons, you must be used to that. To have such devils enter unannounced and watch you strip yourselves from your clothes.

The thought fills him with fury, his lips curled and brows knitted together. Yet, his hand continues to pump at his cock. The ridges near his cockhead tingle under his thumb, his head thrown back and eyes shut tightly.

His thighs tense, the muscles in him pulled taut as his grip tightens. “Something so tainted shouldn’t be the thing to witness you,” he hisses through his teeth, brows furrowed and hips bucking. “It’s outrageous that they’re the ones you live with. Beings so full-” his voice cracks, his head dipping down- “full of sin, touching and dirtying you.” His cockhead leaks with pearly white semen, dripping off his cock in heavy, thick strands.

When he closes his eyes, he can imagine you, dressed in white, spread before him, pleading with him to be gentle- you’d be the blushing virgin, ready to take in God’s Grace and kiss lips so pure that you’ll whine against him. You’ll be under him, your fingers lost in your sex as you tell him that you’ve been waiting for this moment. His pace quickens, his eyes closed as he thinks as to how you’d feel. Your thighs plump and your walls tight around his cock, your sex pulsing under his touch. You’d kiss him and he'd return it. He lets out a cracked moan, his breath sharp and head thrown back.

Beside him, his phone rings. He gives a slight turn, his clean hand going to lift the phone. A deep frown settles on his burning face as he realizes what he’s done and to who he’s done it to. Your image fills his phone, a call from you. He clears his throat, and quickly accepts your call.

“Simeon!” You sound worried and the tugs at his heartstrings and further cements his guilt. “I was worried, you didn’t reply to me. Are you okay?”

“I-” his voice cracks, and with a deeper flush, he clears his throat. He wonders if you know what he just did. He wonders if you would figure out what he’s doing as he listens to your voice. “Ah! I’m sorry, I thought I had replied to you but it seems like I hadn’t. I- uh,” he bites on his lip, trying in vain to muffle his moan- “My mistake. I- I just, I needed to get something,” his voice strains at the last word. “I’ll be over shortly. I promise.”

“Simeon,” the way you call his name makes him tug harder at his cock, “if this is about what you saw, then it’s okay. I know you. You didn’t mean to.” You sound so sweet, trying to comfort him while he’s doing something so perverse. “Listen, if you want, we can forget that that happened and start new, okay?”

“Really?” he breathes out, already closer to his high. “I would appreciate that. I-” His nail grazes over a vein and he lets out a deep groan.

“Simeon, you okay?” You say hurriedly. “You sound hurt.”

“I just bumped into a table,” he laughs breathlessly, his phone pressed roughly into his ear. “I’m sorry for worrying you,” he mumbles. “I’ll be over shortly, my dear. Just wait a moment.”

He barely has a chance to hear you say goodbye before he ends the call. “Fuck,” he groans, snapping his mouth close and turning his head, sliding his hand up and down his cock. Clicking noises fill the room, his cock pulsing in his hand, feeling as if it were about to burst. So heavy and foreign in his hand, Simeon pushes past the thought of his own hand touching himself, and tries to imagine yours. He thinks of your voice, of how you said his name, rushed and high, calling out to him.

You’re this glowing thing, something so pure but also full of sin, so human and lovely for it. You’d be this thing he was able to touch, this person who would love him and beg for touch. Under his wing, you’d be protected, cared and loved. Tears brim his eyes, trailing down his cheeks in hot flashes, sparking and disappearing into nothing before they have the chance to wet his hand. He’s already so close, his stomach knotting together, and body beginning to shake. As he releases, his free hand covers his mouth, muffling his moans that are drenched in cries. His seed is thick, coating his hand and leaving him in burning ropes. He looks at his hand covered in semen and he wonders if you would have been so kind to lick it off of him, to treat him as if it were your finest meal. His cock twitches at the thought, dribbling out more semen onto the seat.

Simeon lays in his afterglow, taking deep, slow breaths, his palm open, his seed dripping onto the floor in syrupy strands. The tear tracks begin to dry, his eyes still watery and the image of his ceiling blurry. With a wince, he stands, and grabs at his soft cock, walking to the nightstand and pulling out tissues. It’s humiliating to cleanse himself, to dry off his semen and to wash his hands. He can’t touch you with his hand, with a hand that had sullied the image of you in his mind, that had gripped at his own cock and covered himself in seed. The semen comes off of him in rushed waves, slipping down the drain and leaving his hand wet and clean as if there was nothing there to begin with. In the mirror, he is greeted by his reflection- messy hair and flushed cheeks, tears in his eyes and puffy lips from being bitten by. He wonders if you’d recognize this dirtied version of an angel when he greeted you. He wonders if you’d still hold his hand that grasped his cock not too long ago. With another message from you, he grabs the sweet he was supposed to bring, giving a glance to the gloves that rest on the arm of the chair. With a sigh, he decides to leave them there, hoping to hold your hand and memorize the feel of it

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me simeon smut #obey me simeon x reader #obey me simeon imagines #obey me simeon headcanons #obey me simeon x mc #obey me simeon #i want him to cry #i want him to be a big crier #but i also want him to be super gross and indulge in his sin #like he's pent up #let him ya know #go buck wild and stuff

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kass-storycorner · 3 years

Note

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

#genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #ajax x reader #gn!reader #reader fic #genshin impact #genshin fic #fan fiction #angst #angst prompt #bit of comfort #hurt #hurt prompt #writing

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escapingmytrauma · 3 years

Text

TRAIL OF RED FEATHERS

YANDERE HAWKS/TAKAMI KEIGO X ANXIOUS F!READER

CW/TW: Yandere behavior, mentions of stalking, kidnapping, nonconsensual drug use/drugging, anxious reader, dub/non-con, somnophilia (?), size kink-ish, minor praise and degradation, dirty talk, possessive behavior, overstimulation, dacryphilia.

A/N: Let me know if I missed any please.

W.C: 7.8K

DARK CONTENT! DARK CONTENT! DARK CONTENT!

Takami Keigo/Hawks: Trail of Red Feathers

The constant findings of a red feather always somehow intrigued your curious mind. It never bothered you, you just never understood how you always ended up finding them. You had even brought it up to your friends just for them to respond with, “Huh. I never see those feathers” or “I think your starting to hallucinate.” After those comments you just kept the findings of the red feathers to yourself.

Your mind trailed back to when you first encountered one. Bright colors always entice you and you could never stop your body from walking towards such a color. So, of course when you first encountered such a bold, bright colored feather you immediately picked it up. The softness of the feather brought such a comforting sensation through your fingers. You just had to rub it a little more. A bright smile surfaced on your lips as you took the feather home with you. Then, not long after you found another one; ever since then every time you found one you kept it and took it home with you.

Unbeknownst to you that a red winged, blonde haired man purposely had been leaving them there for you. It was something about your innocence, your purity that drew him to you; unfortunately, that fascination turned to obsession quickly. He would even follow you during his patrols, you occupied his mind every second and he CRAVED for it. The obsession grew substantially over the past couple of weeks to where he was now planning to keep you away from everything and everyone.

It never went unnoticed how many men looked and ogled you. You never understood the reasoning behind it, but you never said anything because your anxiety would always hit and hindered you from telling the person off. It pissed your admirer off that you never said anything for them to back away, but at the same time he understood just how anxious you got… after all you had to take your medication twice a day. The first one at exactly seven a.m. on the dot and second one twelve hours after. He had your whole schedule memorized, not that you had a routine you just liked to stay home often and avoid any social interaction, besides the walks you forced yourself to go on to get some fresh air and sunlight. He liked that, this gave him the upper hand in thinking you would not want to leave, and you would just want to stay with him.

Today your friends invited you to hang out at a local coffee shop, they were always considerate of your anxiety; but you always felt like a burden, you did not want your friends to hold back on having fun just to include you. You did the bare minimum to get ready; brushing your teeth and hair was a struggle within itself, but you forced yourself to do so. You slipped on some shoes and put a light jacket over your shirt. You stepped out of your apartment and made your way outside a small breeze fanning your face as you took a deep breath and walked your way to the coffee shop.

Halfway to your meeting point you felt it. Someone was watching you; sometimes, you thought you were overreacting, but the eerie feeling became more prominent recently. The thumping in your chest gradually became louder to where that was all you could hear; you bit your bottom lip as you so desperately wanted to go back and seek comfort underneath your blanket. A small sigh escaped your lips and you decided against that, you continued your walk as the feeling of someone watching you never left. You finally approached the coffee shop, but you had the urge to look in the direction from where you thought someone was watching. You looked up to your right but so nothing. Just a couple of strangers walking by you.

Was I hallucinating? No. I couldn’t have been.

As your name was called out your head quickly snapped towards the voice to come face to face with Cameron, her bubbly self suddenly calming you down almost instantly. She was the person you were closest to, and she helped you during your hardest times. Cameron frowned a bit noticing your tense stature. “Hey, _____... you okay?” She asked softly, genuine concern evident in her hazel eyes.

“U-uhm…” you hesitated. You did not want the start of this hang out to be clouded with your own delusions.

“Hey, when you are ready to tell me, I’m here for you!” Cameron gave you a wide smile. Relief pulsed through your blood as she gently too your arm and y’all walked inside the coffee shop.

The aroma of coffee beans immediately tickling your sense of smell. Cameron took a deep inhale as well. “Ughh... I just love the smell of coffee.”

A small giggle left your lips as you silently agreed. Cameron looked over to you with a genuine smile. She wanted nothing more than to see you happy.

After ordering y’all picked the corner table away from the crowd patiently waiting for the order and the rest of the group to show up (which was only three more). As they all slowly showed up one by one; your coffee had already arrived as your index tapped vigorously against the edge of the cup. You steadied your hands as much as you could, bringing the mug slowly up to your lips you took a small sip. The warmth of the coffee and the right amount of sweetness causing you to let out a small hum.

You heard the door chime and a couple of gasps were heard throughout the area. You looked up to see what the commotion was. A blonde-haired man with red wings walked in. You looked over to Cameron who was also in awe; you were so confused. You didn’t know who this was, but everyone else seemed to know. You tugged quietly at Cameron’s sleeve and she turned to you.

“Ah. I forgot you don’t really keep up with this sort of stuff…” she paused as he looked over to y’all. His golden eyes meeting with your eyes, your jaw dropped just a bit. That feeling again, as if someone was watching you.

Why does his presence feel familiar?

You blushed as he smiled at you. You quickly look down and fiddled with your fingers getting a little too anxious.

“He is the number two hero by the way,” Cameron finally finished out. Your eyes widened and you turned to Cameron. She gave you a small smile as you just nodded in understanding. You looked back up at the number two hero and saw how he was bombarded by so many people; yet it’s like he could sense you staring, and he looked your way once more. A small smirk appeared on his face making your face heated once again. You took another sip as you tried to focus in on the conversation your friends were having, but your mind was just focused on him, something about him, his golden eyes, his little smirk, it just edged into your mind.

Two hours had passed, and you were able to engross yourself into the conversation, chatting away about relationships and things of such. A small yawn escaped your mouth and you decided you should probably head home. You stood up to say your goodbyes to everyone and Cameron decided to give you a ride home.

“No excuses, I want to,” Cameron interjected before you could deny. You sighed softly in defeat knowing all too well she would not change her mind. Cameron said her goodbyes to everyone also and y’all left the coffee shop beside each other. Getting in the passenger side of the car the smell of sweet coconut filled your nostrils, Cameron had always kept her car tidy and it somehow always encouraged you to keep apartment clean.

“You know, I would say your anxiety has calmed down. I’m really proud of you,” she comments. A wide smile spreads across your face hearing that comment.

“Really? It’s just recently I’ve felt like I’ve held the group back so much since y’all accommodate to me,” You admit. You felt weight lift off your shoulders as it was finally said. Cameron let out a small hum.

“I can see how you think that, but hun...” She took a small breath, “If we genuinely feel like that than we are not your friends. Your wellbeing is much more important than me going to stupid club to shit faced and have a random hookup,” she finishes. You look down as you fiddled with your fingers.

How do I respond?

“Thanks Cameron, I owe you big time,” You say. Cameron parks on the side right in front of your apartment building.

“You don’t. You literally have been there for me through everything and despite your anxiety you were always able to be calm when I was crying… don’t question your ability in friendship,” Cameron reassured. You gave a small smile and reached over and gave her a huge hug that y’all both needed.

Releasing after a while you gave her a thank you and got out of her car. You watched as she drove off a small smile still portrayed on your face. You turned around walking up the steps to go inside and you stopped. There it was again, the feeling that someone was watching; you couldn’t help yourself you turned to the side and looked around. Your eyes glanced at the bottom of the steps.

A red feather.

You bit your bottom lip as your eyes gleamed with happiness. You happily walked down the steps and picked up the feather. A small chuckle interrupted your thoughts and you jumped in fright. You quickly turned around and met eyes with golden daunting eyes. It was Hawks.

“So, you’re the one who has been picking them up,” He asked.

“I-I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t know…” you stuttered out. You looked down in embarrassment, you heard his footsteps come closer and you could smell his faint cologne.

Do I give it back to him?

“Don’t be, it’s cute,” he admits, Hawks rubs the back of his neck and that is when you noticed blood staining the sleeve of his jacket. A small gasp leaves your mouth and you shyly bring it up.

“Your uhm… your arm… it’s b-bleeding,” You whispered out. He hums in curiosity and looks down at his arm.

“Oh… I didn’t even notice, guess I should probably get that fixed,” Hawks muttered. You didn’t even notice that he was baiting you to even invite him your house, this was exactly going to plan.

“U-uhm, I-I could patch it up for you…” you offered. A smile came across his face.

“You wouldn’t mind?” Hawks asked. You shook your head ‘no’, you walked up the steps as he slowly trailed behind you a malicious smirk playing on his lips. Hawks had every intention of making you his and nothing was going to stop him.

You were so nervous; your palms were sweaty, and your heart was thumping so loudly you thought Hawks could hear. Nervously fiddled with the keys to your apartment and suddenly you felt his chest push against your back as his arms reached across beside you and gently got the keys, “Let me help.”

You released the keys and watched as he got the key in and unlocked your door.

“T-thank you…” you mumbled shyly. Another chuckle escaped past his lips as he enjoyed just how shy you were.

“Anytime sweetheart.”

You walked in as he followed behind you; relief set in you as you remembered you had cleaned yesterday. “U-uhm…. You can take a seat on the couch, let me go get some items so I can help you just a bit.” Hawks happily obliged as he watched you walk away, his eyes setting on your ass. He could not help but want you, you were just so tempting. He took a seat as he scanned your room, he spotted the jar of feathers and smirked. Hawks was so elated all the times he watched you take it into your apartment.

Your hands were fidgety as ever and you did not what to screw up his wound. You gave yourself a mental prep talk before you walked back with the items in your hands. As you walked back you saw him smile at you, but some glint in his eyes were throwing you off, it did not match his smile whatsoever. You cleared your throat and set the items down on the glass coffee table.

“So, I know you know who I am, but can I get your name?” Hawks lied through his teeth like nothing. He knew so much about you that it wasn’t necessary to ask.

“A-ah… I’m so sorry for not even introducing myself,” you answered and gave him your name.

How could I forget to introduce myself? I’ve been collecting his feathers and I could not even give him my name.

“What a beautiful name.” The way your name rolled off his tongue had you a bit speechless. It made your face heat up in embarrassment. You took a seat beside him as you grabbed the alcohol to clean his wound. You go to start but you realize that his jacket still in the way.

“Can you take off your jacket for me?” You asked. It almost felt so provocative to ask such a question. Hawks smiled and took it off and allowed you to continue, “Sorry, this might burn,” You warn softly. As soon as your fingers grasped his wrist, he went tense. Blood was rushing towards his cock, the urge to take you then and there was so tempting. His mind wandered to the most perverse thoughts he did not realize just how much your fingers were shaking around his wrist.

You were so anxious; you bit your lip hard trying to contain your nerves as you continued to clean his wound. You started wrap his bandage as firm and gently as you could. You sighed softly as you finally finished. You stood up and as soon as your fingers released from your wrist Hawks was back to reality. He wanted more of – no, he NEEDED more of your touch.

“Awe… done so soon?” He joked, but deep down he really was not. He needed a way to just get some of the drug into your system. You let out a small laugh starting to feel somewhat comfortable.

“Sorry, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was, so a little bandaging will do,” You explain. You were ready to bid him a goodnight, but before you can his eye glance towards your shelf and a smirk spreads across his lips.

“That looks like an interesting story to tell, I want to hear about it.” You gander towards what he was talking about and saw the jar of feathers. Your eyes widen in embarrassment and you were starting to get anxious.

How am I going to explain this, hm? Nice going. He probably thinks you’re obsessed with him.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear,” you squeak out. Hawks laughs and raises his hands in surrender.

“I’m not accusing of anything kid; I just want to know how you collected so many.” You sigh in relief as your chest continues to pound in your chest giving you a minor headache. You needed something to alleviate just how anxious you were feeling.

“Sure, would you like some tea or anything before I explain?” You offer.

“I would love some, thanks.” You gave him a small smile and walk over to the kitchen and start heating a small kettle with water. You were trying so hard to keep your nerves down, but it was extremely difficult. Hopefully, with this tea it would calm you down just a bit.

Hawks took in everything that had happened just moments prior to you walking towards the kitchen. Your reactions were everything to him. He wanted so badly to make you his. Make you say the most perverse things.

He wanted to fuck you till you begged him to stop. He wanted tears leaking from your innocent eyes as he showed you no mercy. He wanted his marks, his finger bruises on your skin. He wanted to taint your innocence.

“Here you go,” Your voice cut his thoughts off and he cleared his throat. He grabbed the mug as he needed to calm himself down. “You okay there? You seemed to be lost in thought…” You trailed off. His golden lustful eyes turned to you making you regret asking. He quickly covered it up with a smile.

“Yeah, sorry. My mind wanders sometimes.” You accepted the answer not wanting to question farther. You sat down and took a couple of sips from your tea. The hot liquid soothing your body just a bit. Hawks pointed towards the shelf still wanting the story even though he didn’t need one.

You looked over to the shelf again but tensed up when you noticed something else. The clock.

7:13 pm

You let out a small gasp, “I’m sorry, give me a moment I have to take my medication.” Without letting him reply you quickly make your way over to the medicine cabinet.

How could I forget?!

Hawks watched as you were out of his sight. This was his chance. He quickly grabbed the small little bottle filled with liquid and poured just a little into your tea. He sat back down quickly grabbing his own mug and taking a sip as he smirked to himself. You came back in a panic as you popped the pill and took a sip of your mug to swallow it down.

“Now before we get into the feathers, sorry if I’m overstepping my boundaries, but what is the need for that?” Hawks genuinely questioned.

“Well, I have anxiety, which is pretty obvious, but along anxiety can come depression, and that’s just to help prevent it from getting bad,” you explained. He hummed in understanding; you nervously fiddled with your fingers and decided you needed some of your tea. After taking another drink you go on with your story about the feathers.

“…well somehow they just ended being places where I was at an- “you stopped midway as you started to get extremely dizzy. You saw Hawks as he faked concern slowly standing up. Everything was blurry and you felt your eyelids get heavy. The last thing in your eyesight was Hawks walking over to you.

This was it. This was the time to take you. You were limp in his arms a steady rhythm of your breathing as he looked at you. If he remembered correctly, they said a little could go a long way, so a little drop must be roughly two hours, it would probably take him ten minutes to get to his penthouse. Hawks quickly lifted you up and left your apartment. He needed to move quickly to get you settled in.

Hawks walked out of the building and took you to his place. It was a lavish penthouse. It was a three bedroom with an amazing view of the city. He wanted nothing but the best for you. Flying in from his balcony so he wouldn’t get trampled by fans in the front. Hawks proceeded to walk in, the sound of his boots stepping on the tiled floor being throughout the penthouse. Walking into his room.

The room was painted a dark grey, with minimal picture frames and paintings. A big fan hung from the ceiling as it pushed a breeze evenly throughout the room. The biggest source of light coming from the window that was in the place of the right wall. Hawks gently laid you down on his bed. Looking at you, so cute, so adorable while sleeping. He clicked his tongue debating whether he should handcuff you to the bed or not. Surely you would be too anxious to fight back. Right?

Hawks decided against it and left you to be. He walked over to his bathroom where he took a shower and wanting to get out of his hero costume. A hot shower should relieve some of his stress today. He was so pissed that he couldn’t say hi to you at the coffee shop. It didn’t sit well with him, don’t get him wrong, he loved his fans and the attention, but when the attention wasn’t coming from you, it annoyed him.

He allowed the hot water to soothe some of his tense muscles as he rinsed and washed himself. Unfortunately, being in the water forced him to take off the bandage you so kindly put on him. Oh, how gentle you are, and how sweet you are. He was going to taint you in every single way possible. Then, of course, you stay with him forever so no one could ever see just how erotic you can become, or your tears. Only him could see that.

Stepping out of the shower he dried himself off and put-on pair of gray sweatpants, not even to bother putting on any boxers; he had every intention of stuffing his cock in your tight little cunt.

His thoughts took over as he walked over back to his bedroom. You lied there so defenseless, maybe a taste wouldn’t hurt. He slowly climbed on top of you; his thighs on both sides of your waist, he watched as your chest went up and down at a steady pace, your lips slightly parted as breaths escaped passed your lips. Just a taste. His feather cut through your shirt revealing your stomach and your cleavage. Hawks groaned softly, he slowly leaned down towards your lips, he stopped right before touching them with his own.

“Just a taste Keigo,” he whispered to himself. His lips ever so softly pushed against your lush soft lips. His tongue sliding in as he wanted to get more of a taste, the throbbing sensation in his cock pushing him to go a little further. His hands touched your sides, gently digging in his fingers as he started kissing your jawline. A pinching feeling causing you to slightly stir; Keigo paused, had he gone too far? He couldn’t stop now, he had you. He glided his lips down to your neck as he gave you open mouth kisses, sucking softly, purposely leaving marks. You stir again as you’re slowly gaining consciousness, immediately taking notice of your awareness he goes lower, unbuttoning your jeans and removing them. He continues as he slides your panties to the side and runs his middle finger in between your folds rubbing your slit and slowly rubbing around your clit.

You suddenly gasp at the feeling, your upper body weakly shooting up. “H-hawks what are you do- “

“Shh... just enjoy it baby…” He cuts you off quickly placing gently kisses along your navel. Your eyes fully open and adjust to your surroundings.

Where am I? What happened?

Tears blur your eyes as you start getting anxious. You were in an unknown setting with someone you barely knew; he was also violating your body.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment,” He whispers, the blurriness of your vision only giving you lines of a golden color as you looked to where the voice was coming from. Slightly darker yellow lines appearing as well. Goosebumps rising on your skin, a breeze continuously hitting against your sternum down to your abdomen some places colder than other as if a small amount of a liquid had been put in those areas.

Your hazy mind finally registering what he had said, “W-waited… long…” You whispered out. Your head gets a sharp quick stab as you tried to process what those words meant. Your thinking got cut off short when you felt it. Something was pushed inside of you. You let out a gasp as your fingers moved down to remove it out of you. It wasn’t big, no, it felt a little thicker than a pencil. No. It was a finger. His finger was inside of you. He curled his finger just a little; a small pathetic noise escaping your lips.

“Nng… No,” The word came out so feeble. Your hands trying to pull his arm away. Keigo continued his small torture on your now slippery cunt as he added another finger in causing you to let out a whimper.

“Baby, you’re so wet for me,” Keigo whispered in your ear. You choked back a small sob not being able to form words. He slowly picked up his pace in fingering you; you could faintly hear the small gushing sounds as he continued. Keigo brought his thumb on your bud rubbing it, curling his fingers as you let out a hitched breath. You body craved for more as you could slowly feel a sensation of needing to release grow in the pit of stomach slowly overcoming the small knots that were in there prior.

“Hawk- “

“Keigo, baby. Say my name…” He quickly interjected. It was more of a demand than anything else. You bit your bottom lip in a slight defiance, you couldn’t give him that satisfaction of hearing you say his name; you turned your head away and squeezed your eyes shut. As if picking up what you were doing, he started fingering faster and rubbing your bud quicker. A moan left your lips as you tried to so hard to conceal it. “C’mon baby, moan my name,” He encouraged.

Small pants left your mouth as you felt yourself clenching tighter around his digits that were going and fast pace. You felt two fingers roughly grabbing your chin and forcing you to turn his way. Leaving your eyes closed as you could feel your wet eyelashes touching the skin below your eyes. You heard a small grunt as the pressure on your chin increased greatly.

“Open your fucking eyes,” He demanded. Swallowing slowly, you obliged to be met with almost brighter golden eyes with a fierce lustful look. “Say it.” You felt his fingers pause where they were still in you.

“K-Kiego.” It was barely a whisper, you felt so exposed in an erotic way as his name fell from your lips while looking at him straight in the eyes. He let out a small hum of approval as he continued torturing your cunt with his thick fingers. Another moan falling passed your lips as the need to release was extremely prominent.

“You’re going to cum? Hm? Are you going to cum all over my fingers?” It came out taunting and teasing as he picked up the pace; he removed his fingers that were placed around your chin and placed the palm of his hand on the bed beside your hip. Your hands that were around his other arm gripped tighter as you tried to pull it out.

“N-no, I’m not,” You said in attempt to sound firm, but it came out more uncertain than anything else.

His other hand suddenly went around throat a little too harshly causing a gasp to escape, “Don’t lie. You’re clenching so tight around my fingers,” He said as he brought his face close to yours.

Why did that make me turned on? What the fuck is wrong with me?!

The attack on your clit became more forceful and you let out a small noise as his hand was still around your throat. You couldn’t hold it, his fingers inside you, his thumb on your clit was doing much more stimulation to your body than you could account for. Your hands released from his arms as they both went on either side of you; your fingers entangling into the duvet on the bed. You arched your back a little as you shamefully released your juices onto his fingers. With deep pants you fell limp against the bed as Keigo released his grip from your neck.

A small chuckle left his lips as he brought out his fingers, “My… my…” He tsked, you looked away in embarrassment. You didn’t want him taunting you even more. “My fingers are drenched with your juices,” Keigo whispered in your ear. You were so humiliated you couldn’t even look. He brought his drenched fingers to your lips and unconsciously let out a small gasp. He pushed his fingers into your mouth as his other hand smushed your cheeks forcing you to look at him.

“Suck.”

He’s not serious… no, he is.

Not wanting to do anymore you obediently sucked tasting your juices, the erotic flavor covering your tastebuds.

“Good girl,” Keigo gently praised. Releasing his grip from your cheeks his fingers tickled your body as he started feeling your stomach and even going underneath your bra to tease your nipples. You wanted this sexual torment to end; what made you more embarrassed is that your body was enjoying this. It craved for more of his touch; you hated it.

Keigo removed his fingers from your mouth and silently moved down to where his face was in front of your still soaking pussy. You saw as one of his feathers ripped the fabric of your panties so he could fully take them off.

You quickly trying to squeeze your thighs together to shield his sight from him. He pushes his hands against your thighs causing them to spread.

“Nuh uh uh… I’m going to enjoy this…” He says with an erotic tone as he looks up at you; he licked his lips before bringing his hot mouth on your folds. You let out a small gasp as your back arched up just enough for his tongue to slip through your folds.

“Keigo…” You mumbled. You weren’t exactly sure why you were saying his name.

Am I wanting him to continue? Or to stop?

Your brain battled itself. Keigo let out a soft hum in response to you saying his name. The vibration of his hum hitting your already sensitive bud causing you to jerk a little.

He enjoyed your reactions, and he was determined to make you cum again before he fucked you senseless. Keigo slowly ran his tongue up and down on your dripping cunt enjoying the taste of you. His eyes glanced up as you squirmed, but he his hands on your thighs to hold you from continuing to do so. Your eyes were closed, and your lips slightly parted letting out barely audible breathy moans. Keigo smiled against your cunt as he continued to torture you.

His tongue teasingly swirled around your bud, his fingers digging into your thighs to hold him from going feral. You let out a small whimper and this encourages him to go faster. He puts his whole mouth on your clit and starts sucking.

“K-Keigo.. Nnngh…” you moaned louder. You felt your body wanting to jerk away, but his fingers digging into your thigh not allowing you to do so. Your clit was sensitive after just having cummed all over his fingers. You let out pants as he didn’t bother to stop, in fact he sucked a little harder causing a whimper to escape. Your vision blurred as your tears were threatening to fall from the sensitivity.

Your fingers flung to his hair and grip his blonde locks as you pulled. Keigo let out a deep groan, once again the vibration of the action tingling your cunt.

“Keigo… Please… I can’t,” You begged desperately as a tear rolled down your left cheek. He momentarily pulled and hummed as if thinking if he should stop or not.

He looked up at you and was just turned on more of your state: your flushed face, your eyebrows knitted inward, your watery eyes, your lips parted, your visible cleavage heaving up and down with each pant you took.

Keigo smirked at you, “You can and will.”

You let out a pathetic squeak as his mouth went back on your cunt. His tongue now teasing your tight hole. He greedily sucked up all your juices, his tongue poking at your hole wanting more. He glided his tongue back upwards licking your bud. Your weak moans echoing through the room as he continued to suck and lick at your cunt.

Oddly enough another sensation of the need to release was coming despite how sensitive you were. Your fingers could barely stay entangled in his hair as your physical strength (or at least the little strength you had to work with) was leaving you. More tears leaked from your eyes they rolled down your flushed cheeks as the sensitivity was increasing.

Keigo had no way slowed or gone any softer, the sound of smacking and gushing sounds filled your ears as your orgasm was close. Your inner thighs felt sore knowing all too well that Keigo had created finger bruises in those areas with how hard he was digging into your skin.

You let out a small yell of pleasure as your back arched, bucking your hips into Keigo’s mouth as you released another wave of juices. He sucked every single last drop you’d given him. A couple more tears escaped as you once again slumped back onto the bed. Keigo stood up away from you and off the bed. You rolled over in relief that it was over.

You heard him shuffle around a little bit before you felt the bed slightly dip. Keigo’s hand snaked under your waist as he pulled you up. You weren’t exactly cooperating, but he knew that you most likely wouldn’t. He suddenly brought you all the way up to where your back was against his chest.

You felt it. It twitched against your back. Your eyes went wide and your hands blindly behind you, “NO! Keigo,” you warned. He let out a small chuckle before pushing you down into the bed. He pulled your abdomen up and his fingers pushing you on area forcing you to arch your back.

You felt his tip tease you at your entrance. Your head shot up and before you could say anything, he shushed you.

“I promise I’ll put it in slow,” Keigo promised. He leaned over to where his breath was fanning your earlobe, “I’ll put it in inch by inch, and we’ll count together.” It wasn’t even a suggestion and you knew that.

He pushed just the head of his cock into you as you let out a loud gasp. The length wasn’t what scared you anymore, the girth of his cock was going to stretch you to the max.

“Keigo… your girth... It won’t fit,” You rambled. You did not want to endure this. He ignored you as he pushed another inch in you. Your fingers curled into the duvet. Keigo let out a small hum if approval of how well you’re taking him despite how tight you are.

“I do believe that is two baby… so repeat the number.”

“T-two.” You were breathing hard as you the pain wasn’t exactly subsiding quite yet. Keigo pushed another inch you and your breath hitched, the girth on this man was unbelievable. You momentarily felt bad for anyone that had engaged into sex with Keigo. Your thoughts were interrupted as a stinging sensation was left on your ass; you let out a yelp in surprise.

“C’mon sweetie, you can count. How many is that?” He stated he softly pinched your hip softly.

“Three.” As soon as the word fell from your lips, he pushed another inch in causing a mewl to fall from your lips. You heard him as he took a sharp breath in.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking tight,” Keigo groaned out. You bit your lip refusing to respond to that comment. He slapped your ass again and you let out a whimper.

“Four.” You knew why he spanked you. He wanted you to count and the fact that it didn’t feel like his voice was getting any closer scared you. You unconsciously clenched around his cock and he dug his fingers into your hips. Keigo pushed another inch into you and squeezed your eyes shut.

“K-Keigo. I can’t. Please. You’re too big…” You pleaded him.

He clicked his tongue as he responded, “Baby, you’re barely halfway,” he casually commented.

HALFWAY?!

“H-HALFWAY!? KEIGO THERE IS NO WAY I CAN TAKE ALL OF YOU!” You cried out in desperation.

He is ten fucking inches… How does he expect any person to take his length?

“Sweetie, that’s why I’ve been going slow, so you can adjust. Just try to take two more inches…” He compromised.

You felt grateful that he was at least compromising a little. As you battled whether to agree or not Keigo pushed all the way in and you heard as his waist hit against your ass. You let out a scream as the pain was increased to a maximum. You felt him extremely deep. He suddenly brought you up against his chests as he leaned his head down kissing your neck.

“Oops…” He mumbled not sorry at all. You knew he wasn’t sorry.

“You’re not sorry Keigo, you fucking son of a bi- “His hand slapped over your mouth quickly to shut you up. He held it firmly as he gently rocked against you slowly. The first couple thrusts were gentle to get you adjusted to his size, but then they became rough and hard. You moaned against his hand as he picked up the pace.

“You love it, don’t you? Hm? My cock is covered in your juices which lead me to believe you love being stuffed with my cock,” Keigo comments. Such vulgar words being said out loud caused your face to heat up. His hand uncovers your mouth, and he pushes you down into the mattress with your ass up.

Keigo starts violently thrusting into you at a fast pace. Pitiful mewls fall from your lips as he continues to do so.

“Who do you belong to?” He questioned harshly as he rammed into you again causing a small cry to come out of you. Keigo twisting his hand into your hair and pulling on it causes your head to jolt back.

“Who... do… you… fucking… belong… to…” He gritted out in between pants.

“You.” He continues to impale on you as he wanted to hear his name fall from your lips.

“That’s right baby… Now repeat the whole thing with my name,” Keigo demanded. His hand tugged on your hair harshly as you let out a whimper.

“I belong to you, Keigo,” you mumbled out, tears on the brink of spilling out from your eyes. Keigo hummed as his grip on you didn’t loosen.

“Louder baby, I can’t hear you,” he teased. You swallowed your humiliation as you took a deep breath.

“I belong to you, Keigo.”

“Good girl,” Keigo verbally applauded as he released his grip on your hair. Keigo thrusted in and out at a steady pace. He would go all the way in which caused you to clench around his cock. Keigo leaned over not stopping his pace. Tears fell from your eyes and he groaned as you felt his cock twitch inside of you.

“Your tears turn me on so much more…” Keigo rasped out as he wrapped his hand around throat. He turned your head slightly as he licked off your tears as they continued to flow. Pants escaped his mouth as he picked up his pace, “I’m going to cum in you.”

“NO! You better not,” You quickly interjected. Keigo simply removed his hand from your throat and pushed your face down into the bed in response. His hands gripped around your hips as grunts left his mouth. You continued to moan into the bed as you finally realized that it had become pleasurable. His fingers digging once again into your hips just adding to the pleasure your body was feeling. He rubbed your now swollen bud causing you to cry out and clench around your cock.

Keigo groaned loudly before ramming into you releasing his seed into you. “Fuckkkk…” He rasped out as he thrusted a couple more times before pulling out.

You felt his hot semen come out and drip down your clit as you raised your head panting out. Your fingers were shaking tremendously and so were your legs. You rolled over on to your back and closed your eyes already going into a slumber; unfortunately, Keigo had other plans as his feather tickled your collarbone and suddenly cut the fabric your bra. The flimsy material exposed your nipples to him as the bra became extremely loose.

Your eyes shot open only to be met with his eyes extremely close, he dominated you in a deep kiss as his fingers played with your nipples. Twisting them, pinching them. You whimpered into his mouth as you were already exhausted from the last round. Keigo removed his lips from yours as he went down and took on of your hard, perky nipples into his mouth. Keigo sucked on it, biting down softly causing to jerk. You let out a small whine as your hands weakly pushed on his shoulders.

“Keigo, please. No more. I’m begging you,” Your voice came out so frail. He brought his face up and looked at you.

“God, baby... You’re so fucking gorgeous. Look how defenseless and exhausted you look…” Keigo smirked as he came closer and he lined his cock at your throbbing entrance, “Having you at my mercy, begging me to stop…” you felt his cock twitch and he pushed his head into your cum filled cunt. You let out a small cry, “It’s honestly so sexy… Nothing turns me on more than you begging and crying underneath me,” Keigo finished.

Your blood ran cold, you realized just how deranged and sick minded this number two hero was.

Keigo fully pushed himself in you and a guttural moan leaving his lips, “Look at that, you take my cock so good, baby.” The comment made you tense up, he was suddenly face to face with you and his hand went around your throat again, “I’m going to make you cry, beg, and sob.”

Your hands flew up to his chest, “Keigo, please don’t.” He smirked at you, his hands tightening around your throat causing an involuntary gasp escape.

“Begging already?” Keigo taunted as he started thrusting. At this point you just let whimpers come out, it was no use holding back anymore. “You’re such a good girl for me,” He breathed out in between pants.

This man was praising and degrading you at the same time and it made you wet. Keigo impales a little more harshly as you let out a small cry. He starts using his other hand to rub your clit and you immediately squirm.

“Look at that, still extremely sensitive,” Keigo commented as he released his grip from your throat and placed his hand on the side of you. You desperately wanted him to stop tormenting your clit, at this rate you would cry.

The sound of skin meeting skin, the sloppy gushy rhythm echoed throughout the room as you tried to think of a way to get him to stop.

Maybe I cou-

A harsh bite down on your neck caused you to scream. Liquid stung your eyes as you were forced to focus back on Keigo torturing your clit.

“Ah there we go, you’re back,” Keigo huskily whispered against your neck. Shivers ran down your spine and he continued to softly bite on random parts of your upper body. “There you go baby, focus on my cock filling your cunt up.” He brought himself eye to eye with you, “That’s all you can focus on… Like the little whore you are.”

A sudden flame ignited in you as you brought your hand down in attempt to slap him, but you caught your wrist just in the nick of time.

A low chuckle chilled you to the bone, “I knew you had some fire; it just takes a lot to ignite it,” He stated as if it were a fact. Keigo grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them down with one of his hands. You squirmed beneath him and he gave you a harsh thrust.

“Did it ever occur to you that you were the only one finding the red feathers?” Keigo questioned as he this time softly rocked against your hips. You looked in away in embarrassment, you knew you were the only one finding them, but it didn’t occur to you in a negative way.

“It’s been what?... two months now,” Keigo commented, with his other hand he used his fingers to rub your bud.

“Nnnghh…” Petty little moans escaped from your mouth as he rocked against your hips and rubbed your clit.

“Surely, you’re smarter than that, right?” He questioned in a mocking tone. His golden eyes staring into your own with a sly glint in them. “No… You’re just absolutely fucking naïve and innocent.” The last two words coming out harshly as he mercilessly ravaged your little cunt.

“Fuck… K-Keigo… Ngh...” You blabbered out as a few tears slip out your eyes. Keigo wastes no time in licking them up; He starts making circular motions with two of his fingers on your delicate clit. You clenched around his cock as you felt another orgasm approaching. Your wrists trying to escape a way out of Keigo’s grip.

You had no physical strength, it was gone. He was right. You are naïve.

“Two fucking months,” Keigo gritted out. The smacking of his waist hitting your most inner thighs leaving a faint stinging tingle. Your orgasm was right there, on the edge.

“K-Keigo, I’m going to c-cu- “You moaned out and he rubbed against your bud faster. You let out a loud cry as he continued thrusting through your orgasm.

He wasn’t far behind, in fact, the clenching of your cunt around him as you released was all he needed to cum. He released again all inside of you as you went limp underneath him. Little sweat beads trailing down his forehead as he rocked against you three more times to finish out his high.

Keigo removed himself from you and you weakly sat up, your eyes barely able to stay open.

“P-please no more… I’m begging you; my body can’t do it…” You whispered out. He brought you close and gave you a gentle kiss.

“I know. That’s enough for tonight… I’ll clean you up and then we can get some rest,” Keigo stated. He lovingly trailed his finger down your cheek already seeing your eyelids close.

“You’re mine forever.”

And you were all his forever because of a trail of red feathers.

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corpsedaydream · 4 years

Note

Hi! I dont know if you write this, but can i request for angsty-fluff imagine for corpse? Maybe when you’re jealous? Thank u❤️ love ur writings

u ask for jealousy and angst, and i said hell fucking yeah

hope u enjoy!

word count: 1.6k

_________________________

it’s fine

Corpse was ever so charismatic. It was something about him that was impossible to deny. Even when he would get misjudged by people, thinking he may be this intimidating presence purely because of how he dressed and sounded, it would only take a few exchanges of sentences between him and a stranger for them to instantly change their mind and feel drawn to him, instead. You knew this better than anyone, after all, it had been one of the factors in what had made you fall for him so hard and so fast.

The only issue was that, sometimes, he could have the same effect on others and, sometimes, when you caught someone else clearly having some heart eyes for your man, that brought forth the little green monster inside of you. He was magnetic, and as happy as you were that the world was so intrigued by him and he was having all the success he deserved, you couldn’t deny that there was a part of you that wished that magnetic pull only worked on you.

It seemed there were certain days when Corpse managed to turn on this charismatic side of him even more so. Today had happened to be one of those days. It was good, because it was a day the two of you had planned to spend together. But when you went out to lunch and the server definitely let her hand rest on his arm a little too long and said things a little too flirtatious and hardly acknowledged your presence, you started to lose that good feeling.

You didn’t say anything about it, even though you kind of wished he would have figured that him giving the girl a back and forth was encouraging her more and upsetting you further. But you were determined to have a good day with your boyfriend, you didn’t want to start any drama with him.

He asked you if you were okay on the way back to his place, noticing you were being quiet. You told him you were and left it at that, even if you did want to say more.

Finally, in the safety of his home that was like a bubble in which was just for the two of you, you were feeling better. Quality time was your love language and his was physical touch, something you could both give each other with ease when there was no outside interruption. Between the little talks, the exploration of hands over each other, the giggles that turned into wiping tears of laughter from your face and shared kisses, you swore you could spend the rest of your life like this and be happy.

And then the bubble burst.

“Ah, shit, (Y/N).” He began, and the mood between you instantly changed.

“What?”

“They need a tenth player right now and no one else can get online.” He had promised that today was about you. And usually, you would be completely okay with him going and joining in on the streams, often you loved sitting by him and watching him get so invested in the games. Except lately, you’d been feeling at an arms length from him and you hated it. You wanted his undivided attention today.

“And?” You were being short with him, you wanted him to know you weren’t okay with this right now.

“It’ll just be a few games...”

You let out a huff and turned your head to the side, looking away from him. You were being stubborn. You didn’t want to tell him what to do, you wanted him to figure it out on his own, that you didn’t want him to play and wanted him to stay right here in this moment with you.

“You can come sit with me?” He spoke again as you remained silent, seemed as if he wasn’t figuring it out.

“Just go play. It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine.

Sitting on your own now, you felt bare without your limbs being all tangled with his beneath the blanket like they were earlier. You had tried to turn on the television to watch something, but everything on just seemed to annoy you.

With a sigh, you pressed your hands to your knees and stood up, walking towards Corpses gaming room. At first, you were going to walk in, giving in to the want that was craving to be by his side, but upon hearing a number of female voices, that jealousy appeared inside you again and you walked away.

It was slightly irrational, you knew these people were his friends, but today had really gotten to you.

At an attempt to distract yourself, you opened up Tik Tok, but all your for you page seemed to be was more girls wanting your boyfriend.

“Fucking hell.” You said out loud, closing the app and opening up Twitter next. But you should’ve known it would’ve been worse on there, Corpse seemed to be trending every day on that app, you told yourself you really should have known better for that one.

However, the next social media app click was deliberate. You knew that Corpse had been reposting stories of people using his song and you decided on treating yourself to some more sweet torture. And sure enough, his story was filled with more girls. Firing that jealousy and insecurity you had been feeling today even more.

“Fuck this.” You announced, standing to your feet and feeling tears of frustration build in your eyes.

Once you had finished gathering your belongings, you were just about to make an exit when that crazy thing of timing pulled a fast one on you as Corpse emerged from his gaming room.

“What are you doing?” He questioned you, spotting your hand gripping the handle on his front door.

Seeing him should’ve made you feel better, but it only caused more tears to well up, so you quickly looked away from him.

“I’m going home.”

“What-no, why?” He came closer to you then and you turned more towards the door.

“Because you obviously don’t want me here.”

“What the fuck? (Y/N), of course I do. What are you even saying right now?” He was by your side now, grabbing your hand from the handle and holding it in his. His other went up to cup your cheek, tilting your head up to face him and that’s when he saw the glaze of tears in your eyes. “Hey, baby,” Worry sparked up in him. “You’re upset...” He stated the obvious and you shook your head out of his grip, directing your vision to the ground.

You thought he might create some distance between you both when you did that, but instead, he did the opposite. He pulled you into a tight hug, one arm wrapping snugly around your waist and his other hand resting on the back of your head to encourage you against him.

“Don’t, I’m going.” You spoke, but your words were meek, you didn’t actually want to leave and he knew that.

“No. You’re not.” He argued back, his arms pulling you in even closer. “I want you here.” He told you and that’s what made you snap.

“No you don’t!” Your voice got louder, matching the movements of you bracing your arms against him and pushing him back, breaking the human contact. He was in shock, watching you with cautious eyes. “If you did, you would’ve spent time with me and only me today. You wouldn’t have left me alone!” You became more emotional as you spoke, a few tears managing to spill onto your cheeks.

“Baby-”

“No!” You cut him off. “Don’t ‘baby’ me right now.” You took a moment to wipe under your eyes before continuing because you knew this next admission would cause you some more tears. “You know how hard it is to compete it with every other girl who’s all about you right now? They’re everywhere, and they’re all so fucking beautiful. I know you see them, I’m not them, Corpse.” Your voice broke into a sob as his name left your lips and he felt his heart break to see you in that state.

He wasn’t sure if you still needed space, but he couldn’t stand in front of you while you cried and not do anything. So instead, he once again brought his arms around you, but this time he scooped you up, encouraging your legs to hook over his hips so he could carry you.

You continued to cry against his neck as he walked the both of you to his room and when he placed you down onto his bed, he was instantly beside you, cradling you against him.

“I need you to listen me,” He began once you had started to calm down, he wanted to make sure you paid attention. “You are so important to me. So fucking important to me, (Y/N).” His eyes were boring into yours and he brought his hand up to wipe the wetness from your cheeks before continuing. “I don’t want you to be anyone else.” He was speaking with force, but it wasn’t aggressive, he was wanting to make sure that you really understood the depth to his words.

“It’s just, everyone seems to want you and I’m just-”

“Don’t you dare put yourself down.” Corpse cut you off before you could finish. For a moment, he pressed his lips to your forehead before moving his face back so he could look at you again. “I only want you. You’re it for me, baby.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“With my whole fucking heart.”

“I love you, I really love you.” You told him, your emotions were still running high, but you were feeling a whole lot better.

“I love you, too.”

#corpse husband #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #writing #mine #request #okay its almost 3am and wew i just finished this #not doing tag list rn im too tired #ill self reblog and do it when i wake up #Anonymous #answered #1k

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kayxleeee · 3 years

Text

Loki Laufeyson:Delusions (Loki x Reader)

Warning: NONE! Slight Mean + Sad Loki

A/N: Love this one! I always feel so bad for Loki in Thor The Dark World :(

Summary: After Loki returns to Asgard he is immediately sent to prison for his crimes on Earth. Unfortunate events occur when Asgard is under attack and you just want nothing more than to check in on your beloved.

Word Count: 2k+

*NOT MY GIF* Do not copy my work

The news of Loki return to Asgard was both worrisome and exciting. There were rumors being spread about that he was returning as a fugitive for the destruction of not only earth, but the crimes that he had committed against Asgard. You of course found yourself just happy to know that he was alive. He may not had been well, but sure he was very much alive.

Living. Breathing. Speaking.

Out of all Thor’s closest friends, you and Loki bounded the most, which caused you solely, to develop feelings for him. These feelings would lead to a sever fallout between you and your warrior companions. With Loki’s criminal accusations, hate and critism came from many, especially from Sif and Fandral. For you to still think highly of him,--well you were considered a traitor in their eyes.

When he returned you were forbidden to pay him any visits. Odin also ordered that the only visitors Loki received were of kin and even those visits were kept very minimal. Now with the unbearable news of Frigga’s death you worried about his sanity even more than before.

The queen has been deceased for a few days now, Thor was easily consoled by Jane’s presents and the support of the Asgardian people who were also mourning their queen. However no one was concerned for the fallen prince, except for you. You knew that his crimes were severe, but nothing was more torturous than knowing of your mothers death and there is nothing for you to do because you are locked away without even the slightest hope of saying goodbye.

For days you try to receive information on the location of where Loki was being held. You are a warrior of Asgard, you should have known these things, but because of your so-called bias-ness for the Prince of Mischief you weren’t allowed. Your inquiries about Loki’s whereabouts in the palace were extremely noticeable and you received a lot of animosity for it, especially from Lady Sif. She called you stupid and selfish for wanting to see him. You were also accused of not having any dignity or self respect. No one would tell you directly where Loki was being held, but with enough sneaking around the palace, you finally over heard a few guards speaking of his whereabouts.

With the common criminals.

You have been watching two sets of guards for more than an hour. You wanted to slip past them undetected, but you needed to wait for the perfect moment. You weren't one of the most skilled warriors in fighting but you were known for your intelligence and abilities to be clever in any situation. The plan was for you to create a diversion to get the guards away from the staircase leading down to the dungeons. You knew that since the palace had been attacked from the inside out the guards would be on high alert. You cast a large stone, breaking a window to which the guards attention is drawn to the noise. They run into the direction of the shattering glass. As you sneak past them, the memories of Stif warning you fills your mind as you flip into the entrance running down the concrete staircase as quickly as possible.

“It’ll be the last thing you do” She threatened.

“He is a prisoner, he knows his crime.” She scoffed

“If you go to him, we will know where your loyalties lie.”

“Loki cares nothing about you, he is a man who cares simply for himself.”

You reach the bottom of the large steps, hoping you were turning down the correct corridor as you ran quickly. You notice on your way that the majority of the cells are completely empty. This worried you, but did not stop you from searching for him. You luckily reach his location without any mishaps.

“Loki!” You announce breathlessly watching as he paced around the small room with his back turned away from you.

His cell was tidy, clean as if he had not touched a single thing. He had all of his things that brought him comfort; fancy furniture, books, papers, and pens. You knew that Loki loved to read because the two of you spent the majority’s of your time together in the library. You felt at ease knowing that he at least had that. This was of course curtsy of the Queen; she asked for these items. Although he was being punished, the only thing she wanted for her dear son was that he was comfortable in his confinement no matter what he had done.

“What is it ?!” He snapped turning around to face you. He took heed in your presence and then pressed his lips into a thin line. “Ah, Lady (Y/n).” He greets you calmly, then an amused grin appears on his face. “Here to tell me the mighty King has passed on too?”

His comment took you by surprise, you assumed he would be just as grateful to see you, as you were to see him.

“Don’t be so morbid Loki!” You cut him off with offense frowning your face in confusion. “With the news of your mother passing, I would think you’d have far-more compassion for your family, for Asgard.”

“My family.” He repeats, mocking your charismatic tone placing his hand over his chest. “My Family is not here on Asgard. My family are no more than those disgusting vile creatures you fight and kill.”

“Loki I know you’re hurting, I know you have all this anger built up, but you have to know that you do have family and loved ones here on Asgard.” You say subtlety hinting at yourself. “I did not come here to be mocked.” You say in a calming voice as he walks over to you.

You place a hand on the enchanted glass as you look up to his figure continuing to speak. “I am not one for your dramatics, I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”

“Holding up?” He lets out a malice laugh. “Ha! Holding up?! I am locked in a cage like an animal!”

You slam your fist against the glass in annoyance realizing your loving reunion was falling flat. You did not come here to argue with this man, you didn’t even plan far enough to think of exactly what you wanted to say, but it was never envisioned like this.

“And who’s fault is that Loki?! Who’s fault!?” You snap matching his dramatic tone.

“My own! For trusting idiots!” He yells back and you can’t help but think what idiots he were referring to. He continues, “Why are you even down here, Odin forbade anyone from seeing me, you can’t be THAT stupid. Or perhaps you want to cast more stones?”

“Cast stones?— I came here as a friend Loki. All this worrying I did for you, all the tears and regrets. I risked my own life and freedom by coming down here” You scoff rolling your eyes at his demeanor. “Just to be spat on by you?”

“Better I to you, then you to me.” He laughs.

“That is your problem, you always think people want to hurt you just as bad as you want to hurt them! Look at you and your brother, he mourned you, we all did, and you go and do this? Destroy and take over the only place he loves. What did you gain?!”

“Oh bullshit! That place was nothing, but a pathetic little wasteland! They needed ORDER.”

“They needed no such thing Loki, YOU needed a sense of belonging.” You say with emphasis.

“My god you’re just as delusional as my brother .” He laughs.

“Delusional?!” You yell.

“Yes.” He says calmly, pleased at how angry he was making you. He walks away and sits on his couch crossing his legs and resting his arms on top of them. “D-e-l-u-s-i-o-n-a-l, delusional.”

As he walked away you noticed a single error in his walk as if it all was an illusion. Something that only someone who knew Loki would catch if they payed close enough attention.

“Enough, no more illusions Loki. Show me your true state, I know you are not this heartless. The only person who stands here delusional is you!”

With that, what you thought was the real Loki fades away in shimmers. A much sadder scene formed before you. The cell becomes a mess, with the once neat furniture, either broken or distorted across the room. The scuff marks on the walls concluded that he had thrown the furniture with immense force. His beloved books were ripped and torn to shreds, and his once neat clothes tattered and disheveled. Your eyes meet his saddened pale figure sitting on the floor near something he recently broken. Fresh blood oozes down his foot as the glass that was lodge in him is discarded next to him on the floor.

“IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE!? A BROKEN MAN YOU SEE !?” His unruly hair falls into his face as he screams at the top of his lungs, veins bulging from his neck.

You immediately go to the side panel that unlocks the cell, running to his aid. You kneel beside him where there is not much debris, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. He barriers himself deep into your neck letting out a silent sob. You hold him close as if you never wanted to let him go.

“I am here Loki.” You whisper to him placing a kiss to the top of his head.

You have never in your seen the Prince so weak, so fragile, so upset, so venerable. This all must have taken a huge toll on him, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“ I did not want this for myself, I did not want this, not for her.” He says lowly as his voice breaks.

“I know.” You rub his back softly. “But you have to know that she loved you unconditionally with all her being, Loki.”

“I-, I don’t believe that.” He sighs with a hint of hesitation in his voice. “No one could ever.”

“That should not be hard to believe because I do, I love you too, I love you unconditionally.”

“You love me?” Asked confused he pulls away from your embrace looking at you with puffy red eyes.

“Yes.” You admit.

“You surely love as a friend correct?” He questions with squinted eyes.

“More.” You place a hand on his cheek giving him a small reassuring smile. “I’ve always loved you Loki, more than a companion, way before any of this.”

He places his hand over yours, giving you a weak smile, then leans in to kiss you. You were surprised , but quickly adapted the new feeling. The kiss was sweet and slow, so slow it felt as if time had stopped. He pulls away resting his forehead against yours.

“This probably is the best news I’ve received all week.” He says with a light chuckle. "I'm so sorry."

You smile pecking his lips once more before speaking again.

“I hope you know that for me to love you unconditionally, that I know who you are deep down. I know you aren’t all bad. I know that you had your reasons for going to earth and ruining New York, just as you had reasons for all the mayhem you have created. What was it ?” You say attempting to have him open up more.

“My reasoning ?” He asked in an unsure voice. “ I do not know.” He concluded turning way to look forward as if he was thinking.

“I find that very hard to believe Loki.” You say resting your head on his shoulder, taking his hand. “But I’m here whenever you’re ready to open up.”

It was true, you never thought Loki was all bad, you knew that there had to be reasons behind his mischief and misunderstanding. A few minutes passed of the two of you just being in one another’s presents. You imagined in other circumstances, this is how Thor felt when he Jane, as if nothing else matter other than the fact that they had each other.

“It…. His name was Thanos, after I fell from the birfrost—” He finally spoke, but it was short lived.

“(Y/n)!” You hear Thor shout from the other end of the cell interrupting. He states at the two of you intensely.

“Thor it is not what is seems.” You say imagining Lady Sif would soon be on her was as well.

“You are not in trouble (Y/n), but I need to speak to my brother, alone.”

You turn your attention back to Loki and he nods patting your hand. The two of you get up and Loki weakly walks you over to the entrance of the cell that you previously came through.

“We can talk later, you know I’ll be here.” He looks at you with a knowing grin placing another kiss on your lips, before Turing to his brother.

You nod turning away to leave the two alone to talk. You had hopes that one day you and Loki could somehow be together, and finish that conversation, but today was clearly not that day.

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