Imagine demanding Luis to unlock your chains. When he doesn’t, you take matters into your own hands.

A/N: DID SOMEONE SAY PART 2 OF THIS PIECE?!

You did and I’m grateful for all the love that has been thrown for my work. So here’s me giving some of that love back. Hope you enjoy 🙏

Warning: SMUT AHEAD. Look away, minors! Look away! Avert your eyes from the sexual content! Shoo! Begone!

Warning 2: It’s quite long so mentally prepare yourself.

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“I still didn’t catch your name.”

The cheek on this guy. Using the fact that he holds the key to your restraints as a bargaining chip to become familiar with you. As if he hadn’t just forced you into a partnership with him already. The absolute nerve. You had more important things to do, such as finding Leon and the president’s daughter. And this Luis Serra was effectively wasting your precious time. Well, two can play this game.

You start by offering him an inviting smile before relaxing your hands until your palms pressed flat against his chest. The man didn’t seem to fully register your subtle movement until you slid them upwards, feeling the fine leather beneath your fingertips. The motion takes him by surprise, his eyes following your touch. He then casts an inquisitive glance your way.

“¿Que haces?” Apparently he wasn’t expecting this, convinced that you didn’t much care for him and thus was taken so off guard that he slipped into his native tongue. He must have remembered himself right after as he repeated the question, making sure that it sounded more direct. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Voice comes out in a low, sultry drawl as you grip the lapel of his jacket with one hand, gently tugging at the material. “I’m about to give you what you want. But I’m going to need you to come closer.”

Once you were certain that you had his complete attention while also making sure that you didn’t lose yourself in the mesmerizing grey of his eyes, you make your move. With your other hand, as best as the chains allowed, you reach for the key that was lodged in the lock of your chains. Disguising your intention, you run your fingers down the expanse of his chest in an explorative manner. This earned an appreciative hum from the Spaniard as he leans his head towards you expectantly.

Too easy.

Mindful not to look down between you two so as to not give yourself away, you lean in as well while also blindly searching for the key. “My name is…” you whisper. His bated breath mingles with yours, the lids of his eyes heavy, grey growing dark in anticipation. Another inch from either one of you and the gap will close. Just as your fingertips touched the end of the key, something warm firmly grips your hand. A sudden chill runs down your spine.

You can hear the reverb of something between a scoff and a chuckle come from Luis’ lips. “Nice try,” he smirks knowingly.

With a strength that catches you off guard, he pushes you away from him. Key in hand. He flaunts the tiny piece of metal before swinging his arm as if he was making a play to toss it aside. In your panic, you jump towards him, shoving him off balance with your shoulder. He breaks your fall as you two tumble down together.

The man curses in Spanish from the sudden pain and you took advantage of this by quickly searching for the key. You spot it a bit of a ways above Luis’ head and use both bound hands to reach for it once more. The chain that links your wrists together are caught by a familiar hand and suddenly pulled down until your hands were restrained between your two bodies once more. You sigh in frustration and the man beneath you clicks his tongue against his teeth.

There is an amused glimmer in his gaze as he speaks. “The stubborn-type, eh? All this trouble over a name.”

You in turn throw him an annoyed glare. “I was going to say the same about you.”

Instead of showing offense, he laughs. “Perhaps we’re more alike than you might think.”

Rather than entertain him further, you try to wrestle against his hold. Luis seemed prepared for it this time, matching your strength, only he had the advantage as he had free reign of his arms and hands. One hand kept your chained hands between your chests, the other gripped at the bicep of your arm, effectively minimizing upper body movement. Out of instinct, you rebelliously wriggle with your hips and legs with the sole focus of getting off of him. However, the man’s longer limbs kept you caged against him and the only thing you managed to do was awkwardly seat your bottom on him, knees bent by his sides.

When you grounded down in your struggle, the man tensed below you. Thinking you have finally one-up him, you repeated the action and noticed he wasn’t nearly putting up as good a fight as he did before. This allowed you to sit upright, dragging his hand with you until his arm extended slightly, and you continued your efforts to be free of him.

Luis’ breath became labored. “Stop.” he commands with gritted teeth, his voice barely above a whisper. When you didn’t listen to him, he moved his other hand from your arm to your hip, squeezing harshly in warning.

“¡Basta! Stop moving!” he growls.

You bark back defiantly, “I’ll get off when you let me get the fuckin-“

That’s when you felt it. Or rather- him. A hardness pressed beneath your nether region. Despite the layers of fabric, there was no mistaking the telling throbbing pushing up against you as if demanding your attention below.

Your throat runs dry but your brain kept sending signals to your mouth. “Ar…. Are you-“

“Sí.” the man had a pained, conflicted look about him, a picture of breathtaking self-control as he kept his body completely still. His eyes didn’t meet yours, gaze locked upon where your hips met as if to keep himself in check and not allow his body’s desires to act out untowardly.

“Surely you know how the human body works,” he tries to sound clinical, face strained in vague distress, “and will not fault me for the involuntary reactions of mine. It already doesn’t help that you’re easy on the eyes.”

You should be chastising him for getting excited when it was neither the time or place and danger was surely around the corner, but bit your lip at your own wave of pleasure upon feeling his arousal pulse. A totally different kind of heat washes over you.

What do you do now?

Neither of you spoke for a moment, a tense silence settling in until Luis breaks it with a forced cough.

“Well, this is- uh, fun.” he says without humor. “Pero, perhaps we can call it even and stop the game here. ¿Sí?”

His words went in one ear and out the other. You were frustrated beyond belief. Fueled by adrenaline and temptation. There was no one around. And you have an impossibly handsome Spanish man between your legs with a hard-on for you.

When you didn’t answer, he spoke up again. “As much as I like this position, I must regrettably ask that you- Whoa!”

As best as you could, you shoot your bound hands straight up in the air. As he still had a grip on the chain link, Luis was dragged upright into a seated position from the floor and his face stopped right in front of yours. The movement caused friction in both of your sensitive areas, mouths could do nothing to stop the groans that escaped them. His eyes open to your heated gaze, confusion and desire swirling in the grey irises.

You breathe, “You talk too much, Luis Serra.”

And it was you who closed the distance. Teeth and tongue clashed in a new battle filled with pent-up energy and lust. Your mind quickly becomes hazy as you allowed yourself to be consumed in his emanating heat and musky scent. A nip at his bottom lip earned you an enthusiastic thrust of his hips, an appreciative squeeze at your bottom rewarded him with a carnal moan from your mouth. The only time you pulled back was for air and the man before you glances between your dazed eyes and bruised lips, hypnotized by your already ruined appearance.

“Are we, uh, still playing the same game?” His question nearly disarms you. You have a feeling he was really asking if you were of sound of mind about this. Your eyes roll reflexively.

“Really going to keep running your mouth?” You then follow up with a roll of your hips, the Spaniard throws his head back with a deep, guttural groan. Dark wavy locks brush against his cheekbones, eyes shut closed. With his thick neck exposed, you steal kisses along his sensitive pulse and stubbled jaw. Another primal groan vibrates from his throat.

“Eres muy mala.” Luis grumbles without a hint of disdain. Rather, when you finally pull back to allow him to look at you, you find him wearing that familiar cocky smirk. “But I must admit, I’m kind of into it.”

A charmer through and through this man is. His next move takes you by surprise.

He shoves you off of him.

As soon as you recover from your initial shock, the dark-haired man grabs you by the chain again and drags you to the far end of the room, further away from the key and exit. Using his strength and your own momentum against you, Luis tosses you forward. Your upper body lands right on top of a wide metal table propped against the dingy concrete wall.

He takes advantage of your momentary state of confusion by forcing your arms to extend towards the wall. It wasn’t until you heard the unmistakable click of metal did you fully regain your senses and look up to see what he did. The arrogant man used one of the wall mounts to lock your chains taut in place. He literally chained your chains. You’re caught in a trap again!

Just as you were about to curse him out, you feel something hard press firmly against your bottom followed by a pair of warm hands settling at your hips and the heat you didn’t realize you were missing came back in throes. You almost wanted to point out how unfair the shift in dynamic was, but all coherent thoughts were thrown out the window when he started grinding into you.

“There,” Luis hums at your apparent silence, “much better.”

Damn him. And he had the gall to say you were bad.

His movements were slow and methodical, like he was testing the waters to see if you were actually fine with this. Your pleased sighs were the signs he needed to continue and go beyond. Next, you feel his curious hands rubbing at your sides over your shirt before he lifts it enough to slip them beneath the fabric. Feeling his skin on yours sent chills throughout your body. His touch wanders, palming at your every curve, line, and muscle and you melted into his hands, encouraging his exploration.

The temperature in the room was becoming unbearably hot. As if hearing this thought, you were pulled up by your torso as far as the chains would allow and felt your back meet his chest. Now, his hardness was at your lower back and you purposefully melded your backside against his straining cock, mentally drawing the length of him. Needless to say, without even seeing it, you were impressed by his size. The man didn’t carry himself confidently without warrant. A soft, almost adoring kiss upon the shell of your ear pulls you from your shameless thoughts.

He whispers hoarsely, “My friend, are you particularly fond of this shirt?”

“What?” you manage to choke out. “Why are you aski-”

The sound of tearing answered your question before you can finish it. Tattered fabric scatters around your feet and the air within the room suddenly felt like soft caresses on your bare torso.

“You didn’t even let me answer!” Your voice sounded more excited than annoyed.

“Lo siento. You were too slow.” Luis presses another chaste kiss to the side of your head. However, you can practically feel his wicked grin. “And frankly, are much too sexy for clothing, anyways.”

Damn, this man was making you feel things.

Despite your skin now bare against the elements, it did little to alleviate the heat building within you. It only amplified when his hands returned to your form, making a slow, sinful journey from your stomach to your upper chest. The pad of his fingers push upon the sensitive buds of your nipples, earning a wanton gasp from your lips. His hips jerk forward at the sound you made, his erection pulsing against your ass, sparking tiny, wonderful jolts of electricity within you. The sensations were making your toes curl.

One hand sneaks back down, his thumb finding it’s way under the hem of your jeans and underwear. His reach teases towards your sensitive spot and you bite your lip in anticipation, wanting so badly for him to touch you where you need him to but your mind too much of a mess to voice it into proper words.

“Mírate,” his warm breath fans against your ear in hoarse, gentle whispers. “Promixa vez… Te quiero llevar a la cama.”

You only manage to translate “Next time…” until the synapses in your brain fire all at once when his fingers began to toy your sex without warning. When his skillful hand deftly undid your jeans, you didn’t know, but at the moment, you didn’t care.

Holy hell. This guy was playing your body like a fine-tuned instrument and your voice eagerly sounded to his ministrations. Your moans and gasps music to his ears. The coil in the pit of your stomach was tightening to the point of snapping as his hand quickened the pace upon your bundle of nerves. He was stroking you graciously while also harshly grinding you into the edge of the table from behind. Your voice was reaching greater heights from the onslaught of overwhelming sensations.

“Last chance, my friend.” Luis growls, barely reigning in his instinct to simply bend you over and have his way with you. “Are we still playing the same game?”

The same question echoes. He asks one thing but really means another. This dashing, infuriating man is asking you if you want to go all the way, past the point of no return. Luis Serra is a stranger. Yet he had the sense and consideration to weigh your feelings in the matter, giving you an choice to opt out even though it would have been so easy to let it lie and let your baser instincts take over. It was almost romantic in a way. You didn’t have to think twice about this.

“Either you fuck me now,” you pant, chains clinking around your wrists, “or I’ll find my way out of these and fuck you myself.”

Luis chuckles lowly in intrigue. “¿Prometes?”

He makes quick work on the rest of your clothing, letting your pants and underwear fall at your ankles. He helps guide you completely out of them. It was probably a strange sight. You completely exposed while he was completely clothed. The only bits of him you can hear rustling is the buckle of his belt and the zipper of his pants coming undone. You were starting to shiver from anxious chills until you felt an arm wrap around you assuringly.

A patient hand gently fingers your entrance, preparing your body for something larger. You eventually move along rhythm of his fingers, goading him to take it to the next level and he acquiesces to your silent request. The heavy heat of his cock that was poking between the gap of your thighs move upwards. Your body instinctively tenses when the head of his member prods against your opening. Luis’ lips pressed against your temple in comfort and finally, finally, he slowly sinks into you. You gasp and he curses.

No amount of foreplay could have prepared you for him. Not all the way in and already you felt so full of him, his cock throbbing against every sensitive nerve inside of you. You whimper in both pain and pleasure and Luis tends to you by wrapping his arms around your middle, planting more kisses along the side of your head right behind your ear.

“Estoy aquí, ángel. Té tengo.”

Like the gentleman he portrays himself to be, he waits for you to relax around him. With great self-control, he pumps into you slowly with a tenderness that could bring tears to your eyes. The initial discomfort soon faded and was replaced by wonderful bouts of sensual ecstasy that has you gasping. Luis keeps up the pace with gusto, nearly pulling all the way out and slamming back into you. The pressure he was piling inside you with every thrust has you screaming to the point that you can feel your voice growing hoarse. Meanwhile, you can hear him moaning his praises for you in his birth tongue. This man wasn’t just talking himself a big game. He knows what he’s doing, fueling his pleasure by ensuring your own. And he was making certain that you chased yours fast.

He pulls out and you involuntarily whimper at the loss of contact. You weren’t left alone for long as he lifts you to lay on your side on the table, your hands forced to rise above your head at this new position. Luis grabs a hold of one of your legs and bends it at the knee over his shoulder, entering your heat once more. Your blood boils fiercely at this new angle, you can see him and everything he was doing to you. And he can see you’re practically rendered speechless with every powerful thrust. At this rate, you weren’t going to last. The fluttering inside your core now popping like firecrackers.

Sweat pours down his handsome face, pupils dilated black with desire for you. “¿Cómo te llamas, ángel? Tell me. And I’ll give you what you want.”

He’s asking for your name again. The catalyst behind this whole affair. “Really bent on that, aren’t you?” you manage to pant out, your lungs barely keeping up with each strong snap of his hips.

“I wasn’t at first, only wanted to tease you.” He groans, his voice finding difficulty to stay level when he’s fucking into you without abandon. “But now- ah! I really want to know. I want to call out your name. ¡Joder! Let me call out your name, mi amor.”

The way he was begging tugged at you deep. Your name was on the edge of your tongue, but your heart was gripped with fear. Fear that if you so much as uttered what he’s asking of you, the spell would be broken and you’d be left unsatisfied. This felt too damn good to risk ruin with sentimentality. So you did what you have been doing best. Prevaricate. And make him want you more.

“Uncuff me. And I’ll tell you anything. Anything you want.”

You feel the vibrations of a laugh rumble deep from his chest.

“Eres tan… ¡Mierda!”

Like a cord finally snapping, the dam breaks and everything building inside spills out with a long, final cry of ecstasy. Stars dotted your vision, for a moment you forgot to breathe as you feel yourself unraveling. Within, you feel him cumming inside as well. Liquid hot ropes painting your insides, leaving you quivering uncontrollably. His hips slow to an eventual stop, his voice coming out in soft, satisfied sighs.

Slowly letting your leg down, Luis pulls himself out and hovers over you, hands flat beside your head. The man peppers your back and shoulders with soft nips and kisses. His stubble makes slow, sensual scratches along your skin as he reaches up to the flesh of your ear, biting onto the lobe affectionately. You turn your head to meet his lips with yours, noting how wonderful his kisses feel. He pulls away slightly to study you intently, varying emotions flashing over his eyes.

“Now,” he started, “about that name.”

Back at this again. You had to admire the man for his tenacity. “Told you already,” you huff once your breath returned to you, tugging at the chains around your wrist. “Remove these cuffs and I’ll think about it.”

His voice cracks in disbelief, “That was not what you said- ¿En serio? After all of that?”

“You’re more than welcome to keep working for it.” The words left your lips before you can stop them and an amused groan escapes from Luis’ own, sending another sinful heat to flow down your core.

“Eres muy mala.” He sighs with a shake of his head. There was no hint of annoyance in his husky tone, a devilish smirk plastered on his face. “Hanging with you- not healthy.”

“Right back at ya.” The remark earned a swift smack on your ass. You almost yelp out of reflex and shifted your eyes to glare at him.

The way he looked at you, however, tells you that he wasn’t against the idea of going again. And truthfully, you were all for it. Luis leans over to capture your lips once more, sweet and filled with promise, while his hand began to wander your body mischievously. The familiar tingle of heat starts to boil inside-

The alarming sound of inhuman groans down the hall jolts you two from your intimate high. Spell broken and you fully take in your nakedness in this increasingly dire situation.

“Get these chains off, Luis!”

“¡Sí, sí! Right away!”

exquisite (rewrite)

[old version]

summary: uhhh idk artist!reader gets f*cked by nat

warnings: 18+, smut, choking (verrrrryyy briefly), mommy kink

also its been awhile since i’ve written smut so if this is awful do not perceive me >:(.

thank you moli for proofreading, i love u <3

dt: @nermalina hey bff heres that smut i promised you. consider it a very late birthday gift <3

🏷: @natasha-danvers @kermy48 @yelenabelovasgf @blackxwidowsxwife @slut-for-nat

natasha had been a model for dozens of people, dozens of times. it never crossed your mind that she would model specifically for you. the redhead was aggressively known for rejecting people's pleas for her to let them paint, sketch, or mold her from clay.

so it came as a surprise when you came across an email requesting a one-on-one session with you. had natasha's name not caught your eye, you would've deleted the email and completely missed such a huge opportunity.

you just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.

the all too known model would be at your apartment in half an hour. you had already set up your supplies the night before out of pure nervousness of her arrival.

you stood in the middle of your kitchen, a cup of orange juice in hand as you thought about the different styles you could draw her in. however, your train of thought was unexpectedly interrupted by the sound of a knock at your door.

natasha was twenty minutes early. and god did it feed into your anxiety.

after unlocking the deadbolt, you were greeted with a friendly pair of green eyes. you didn't say anything, only moving out of the way so she could walk in.

she took in her surroundings, and you suddenly felt a little embarrassed about your apartment. it was cheap, invaluable compared to the rich houses you knew natasha had been invited to.

"sorry it's not much," you mumbled.

"no, it's fine. it's different... in a good way i mean." she reassured quickly, "it doesn't scream how much you want to impress me."

you gave an awkward nod and led her into the living room, motioning to her that you wanted her on the couch.

"okay, you can get into any form you want as long as-" seeing natasha with her clothes half off and still going caught your breath. "-you're comfortable."

she saw your panic from the corner of her eye and smirked. natasha tended to have that effect on people, but this was the first time she allowed someone to draw her fully nude. seeing the look in your eyes as they roamed her body gave her the confidence boost she needed.

you bit your lip as you watched natasha position herself. her right arm rest against the armrest, legs situated atop each other while her left arm fell against her hip.

and just when you thought she had finalized her position, she bent her left knee up and spread her legs. you had to bite your tongue to keep yourself from moaning out loud.

"how's this?"

you nodded, "perfect."

normally natasha could keep herself busy with small talk, but you seemed to be much more quiet than the other artists she'd modeled for. she liked that though, because she already knew it would be easy to make you squirm.

her eyes steadied themselves on your face. you were very focused on your work, she could tell by the involuntary frown on your face. when you looked up from your canvas you were met with a pair of green eyes staring directly at you. nervously, you tried to glance at a different part of her body, but that would betray you because the first thing your eyes landed on was her cunt.

you tried to cover up your action, but the sound of natasha's laugh indicated that she saw the whole thing happen.

"do you want a closer look?" her voice was raspy, causing you to freeze. "really, i don't mind. the second i saw your picture online i knew i wanted to fuck you."

you felt the air in your lungs leave your body. she stood up from her position and strutted her way into your personal space. natasha towered over you while you sat on your stool. she thrusted her hips lightly against your back so you knew she was in charge. it wasn’t long before her lips began to attack your neck. sloppy kisses littered the edge of your jawline, a generous specialty of hers.

"but the drawing, i haven't fin-"

"i don't care. now do you want me to fuck you in here or in your bedroom? i'd prefer the bed, but i could make eating you out on the couch doable."

your reply was stuck in the back of your throat, but you wanted her more than anything.

she traced the outline of your face before grabbing your chin, forcing you to look at her. "i don't have much patience and if you make me wait any longer, i'm going to punish you." natasha's eyes grew dark, completely different from the woman who initially walked through the door.

"bedroom," you squeaked, but before you could go to move natasha picked you up bridal style and carried you herself.

you almost regretted underestimating how strong she was by her petite frame. almost.

she placed you flat on your back and in an instant natasha had your clothes ripped from your body. "sweet girl, you won't know your own name by the time i'm done with you."

she tugged you closer to her so that she could prop both legs on her shoulders, keeping you wide and open just as she wanted.

natasha kissed the inside of your thighs as she worked her way up. your eyes screwed shut, and you found yourself fighting back the urge to moan.

the redhead wouldn't allow that though. she wanted to hear every noise you made slip from your mouth, and she would do anything to get what she wanted.

"open your eyes, let mommy hear those pretty little moans of yours."

she kitten licked the outside of your walls while massaging both of your breasts with her hands, occasionally twisting your nipples for extra stimulation. she dipped the tip of her tongue further into your pussy before retracting and going back to kissing your thighs.

"mommy," you whined.

you could feel natasha smile against your skin. "there you go, my love." you tried to grind your hips further onto her mouth by pushing upwards, but natasha's mouth quickly moved out of reach.

"ah ah ah, be patient. only good girls get what they want." you rolled your eyes and huffed, earning a loud slap to the side of your thigh. "do that again and your ass will be bent over my knee seven shades of red."

her glare went away as soon as she buried her face back between your legs. she was downright greedy, almost possessive over the gift between your legs.

natasha's role of being easy on you was put to an end. she shoved her tongue into your pussy, graciously accepting every inch you had to offer. seeing your back arch, hands balled into fists as they gripped the sheets, gave the redhead a sense of euphoria she'd never felt before.

"mommy please-"

"you're so beautiful when you fall to pieces." natasha purred. "aren't you glad mommy's taking care of you?"

your only response was a loud whine as her tongue flicked over your clit. "c'mon sweet girl, i know you can use your words."

"yes!" your voice was strained, a series of incoherent grunts and moans filling the room. natasha’s mouth covered the entirety of your pussy and her lapping only grew stronger the more you cried.

you clenched tightly around her tongue. your legs automatically reflexed to close, but that didn’t do anything for you except grant natasha deeper access into your cunt.

“m-mommy!” the feeling of natasha’s nails scraping the sides of your thighs was enough to let you know you could come. “mmm, that’s right baby. there you go.”

when she pulled away, you were greeted with the sight of natasha’s sticky, grinning face as she moved to sit on your stomach. she figured she could give you a small break before really fucking you senseless.

but that didn’t mean she would stop completely.

her hands found their way to your breasts, squeezing and pinching them again for extra stimulation. “you like that, don’t you baby?”

“yes, please, i want more!”

natasha giggled, mocking your pathetic pleas for her.

“not yet. don’t be the dirty little whore i know you are. now you’re going to lay here while mommy grinds on your stomach until she gets tired of it.” her hand offered a gentle squeeze around your throat.

“you’re going to have to draw me with my fingers shoved in your cunt before i let you cum again.” she taunted, slowly edging herself on your body. it wasn’t long before you began to feel her heat against your skin.

and truthfully, you’d draw whatever the hell she wanted you to just as long as she kept coming back.

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I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

James “translightyagami/avoidfilledwithcelluloid” Death Note Fic Masterlist

Hello to all you guys out there. Here is my full masterlist of allllll the Death Note fanfic I’ve written: There are over 120 fics contained within this entire list. I’m going to split it up by chapter fics, one-shot fics, short fic compilations, and gift fics I’ve done for fandom exchanges. The descriptions will tell you what the pairings are (mostly Lawlight, but there’s other stuff too). There are several posts of mine that are loosely defined fic, but I won’t be adding those in this post as they are just … hard to organize lol.

Fics are marked with E if they have explicit content and T if there are textual references to transgender characters. Chapter fics are marked as either complete or currently incomplete. Okay! Here we go! 

[UPDATED 11/20/2021]

CHAPTER FICS

sit and stay awhile https://archiveofourown.org/works/31032719 complete Light has a fantasy of sitting in L’s lap, and he’s got a plan to make that a reality.

the art of ink and flowers  https://archiveofourown.org/works/35106943 currently incomplete, E, T Light needs an apprentice and thinks he's found the perfect one in young firecracker Mello. Now to deal with Mello's uncle, the strange, mysterious, and - oops! - super hot florist Ryuzaki, who doesn't want his nephew near a tattoo parlor. What could possibly go wrong?

i could write it (better than you ever felt it) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13913043 currently incomplete Light works in the To-Oh university library, where he meets his favorite romantic mystery author, Eraldo Coil, who later reveals himself to be the great detective L. Through the course of their working together to solve a crime, Light finds he might have feelings for L and those feelings might be shared by the detective novelist.

your heart is an empty cup https://archiveofourown.org/works/13027707 currently incomplete Light is the assistant manager of a Starbucks in NYC, and L is one of his most annoying customers. When L accuses Light (correctly) of being Kira, as well as mysteriously asking for his help on a different case, the barista has to decide if he’s ready to get in bed with the enemy – maybe even literally.

the forest holds strange creatures https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442660 complete, E, T Light, a paranormal research grad student, comes to a small town trying to find a mysterious cryptid. He finds L, a 10-foot-tall tree creature, who helps Light discover the greatest cryptid of all: love. The only reason this one is in the chapter fic section is because it includes a Halloween special chapter with the intro of Beyond Birthday into the cryptid AU.

At Your Service https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229524 complete, E, T The Yagami family owns the sprawling, exclusive Hotel Kitsune where all sorts of international espionage agents make their temporary home. That includes the great detective L, whose romantic tension with Light comes to a boiling point when he comes to stay after a long absence.

best practices https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113519 complete, E, T Light has been working his way to the top of the corporate ladder thanks to his own hard work, and his more-than-close relationship with L, the company CEO and founder’s son. Their relationship comes to a head when L challenges Light to open himself up, making him vulnerable to showing the true depth of what he feels for L and his own desire to explore sexual power dynamics.

ONE-SHOT FICS

tell me the truth https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592320 E, T Light and Matsuda hit up a bar after work, and then Light hits up Matsuda for sex, praise, and a distraction from the deep emptiness inside him.

constricting https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721580 E, T Light breaks L’s favorite tea cup in their kitchen, and L eats him out because he loves his husband so much.

tell me I’m good https://archiveofourown.org/works/13986861 E In the middle of the night, L receives a drunk call from Light, hiding in the bathroom at a party. The call, turning from desperate to horny, reveals more about Light than L wanted to know.

if at first you don’t succeed https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119816 E, T Light gave his first blow job and accidentally bit L on the dick. He tries to make up for his mistake by trying again.

let me work on you https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884799 E, T As the result of losing bet to him, Light has to be L’s computer desk – naked and laying over his boyfriend’s lap. Of course, when L gives him another sexy challenge, Light can’t help but rise to the occasion.

alterations https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945957 E, T Light comes to visit his boyfriend Mikami at his fancy law office and suggests they have sex there. When Mikami reacts unfavorably, Light has to do damage control, and it smarts a lot more than he expected.

lizard https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552499 E, T Light meets a beefcake guy at a bar on the anniversary of L’s death, and lets him take him home (Lizard is my death note OC, and the fic was a wonderful commission from @queerical​)

Buried Alive https://archiveofourown.org/works/19705540 L and Light live together in L’s underground bunker after the apocalypse scorches the Earth. They watch some VHS tapes and do some gardening.

Our Little Secret https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822881 E After getting his memories, his freedom, back, Light wants to give L a gift: Kira tied up at his mercy. But L isn’t so sure if that gift is the one he really wants.

The Light of the Moon https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052722 E, T L is a vampire and accidentally bites Light, who is haunted by dreams that make him question why he wants L to bite him again (and maybe … something more …)

little animals https://archiveofourown.org/works/26829778 E Light and his werewolf boyfriend L fuck in their backyard garden.

Change OR the one where L and Light get married https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748159  E, T A gift/commish fic for @ohgodplsdontlook​. Six years after the Kira case closes, L and Light go have a wedding in the mansion where L spent his childhood summers. They bring the Yagami family, their baggage, and vows to share each other’s secrets.

a divine power https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018197 E L has a particular power that has helped him get confessions from even the most hardened, tight-lipped criminals, and he offers to use this power on Light to get an honest answer to the question "Are You Kira?" Not really believing L's power is real (and also smelling an easy way to lie his way out of being caught) Light agrees to submit to this bizarre investigative power - not realizing that L is about to make him a *very* honest man. (TL;DR, L has a Magic Cock That Makes Anyone He Fucks Fall in Love With Him AU.)

Possession https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232294 E After being killed by his family for being Kira, Light makes a deal with the demon L to get back to the mortal realm - a very, very sexy deal.

24-Hour Gym https://archiveofourown.org/works/29415480  After the yellow warehouse goes (mortally) in their favor, Light and Mikami frequent the same 24-hour gym. Eventually, after seeing all his work out skills, Light asks Mikami if he can bench press *Kira*.

Fantasy of a Fantasy https://archiveofourown.org/works/29729685  E, T While monitoring the Yagami family home for suspicious activity, L catches Light getting off to a dirty magazine and projects what he thinks his main suspect's fantasies might be.

the chains that bind us https://archiveofourown.org/works/32051299 E, T  Obligatory post-Yotsuba arc fic where Light is released from the handcuffs, and wants desperately to be back in bondage with L. Features a very creative use of the handcuff chain.

Kept https://archiveofourown.org/works/33334282 E, T Omegaverse AU where Light cooks up a horny evil scheme so that L won’t throw him in jail, and also lets him get that alpha lovin’ he so desires.

so glad you’re home https://archiveofourown.org/works/33977605 E, T L returns from a solo case and he and Light have a purr-fect homecoming together - including some spanking, cat ears, and a shower of sappy affection. 

SHORT FIC COMPLIATIONS

hand in unlovable hand https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025058 E Okay so I’ve been answering Tumblr askbox prompts for over 2 years now, and this? This is ALL of the Lawlight fics. There are over 70 Lawlight fics in this compilation, with all the nsfw fics marked as such. Here are somethings you’ll find in this horde: an AU where L is fat; dirty talk; ghost sex; phone calls about buying a house; early morning tea; kissing; spanking; bondage; L’s hair being brushed; and much, much more. If you have wished for a particular type of Lawlight fic, it is probably in this bunch.

Containing Multitudes https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570645 E Like i said, I’ve been answering all types of Tumblr prompts. These are all the multi-pairing fics that are not Lawlight. In over 20 fics, you’ll find Mikalight, Light/Misa, Misa/Takada, Misa/Rem, Light/Namikawa, Beyond/Light, Light/Matsuda, and even a few ones with Light and my DN OC Lizard. All nsfw fics are marked as such.

hereditary https://archiveofourown.org/works/17159354 All the Tumblr prompt fics I wrote specifically about the Yagami Family. About 4 fics long, includes a really nice couple of Sayu and Light sibling sadness fics.

bottom shelf erotica https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899706 E These are the 5 fics that I wrote to fill Death Note kinkmeme prompts. They are few frills, dirty, sloppy, all bottom Light smut fics. Also, since I didn’t want to give myself away on kinkmeme they’re all cis stuff. (because really who else would have been throwing trans smut up there?)

something between us (anyway) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30304620 T, E a slowly updating collection of 10 tumblr fic requests I received for the pairings of lawlight and (my DN OC) lizard/light, covering prompts including omegaverse, coffee shop AU, sexy lingerie, and much, much more.

kinktober 2021 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34235686 E, T updated each saturday of Oct. 2021, these five fics all revolve around lawlight and specific kinky prompts.

GIFT EXCHANGE FICS

your father’s son https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115568 T A Secret Shinigami 2018 gift for AbbodonAbandon. Light and Soichiro have a talk about why Light quit the tennis team. Lots of trans shit in here.

in your shoes https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405516 E A Sexy Enquirer 2019 gift for @pashmina-dhaage​. L is a professor who is having a quiet relationship with one of his grad students, Light. When he sees Light through his office window stepping in mud, L rushes to give him the shoes off his feet.

wash it out https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405648 A Sexy Enquirer 2019 gift for @complicatedmerary​. Mikami and Light, a pianist and violinist respectively with the same opera company, are carrying on a passionate affair while Light remains married to the opera’s soprano, Misa.

Thank you for Reading, Commenting, and Being Nice to Me About My Silly Fic!

effortlessly pt. 5 (m) || jungkook & reader

title: effortlessly pairing: jungkook x reader genre: fluff, romance, school!au, smut (watch out bitches!! jk i tried) words: ~4.2k (... after i edit it multiple times lol) note: this fic is turning out longer than intended.......... yep oh well warnings: this chapter contains smut.

series: part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || epilogue 

It’s a series of letters.

As I sit alone along the shoreline of the beach here in the States, the only sounds are the waves crashing on the rocks that sit by the water; it’s a reminder of how isolated I am. Out of all the people I could be thinking of, you’re still occupying my mind. Maybe it’s how supportive of a friend you are or possibly just how effortlessly convivial you can be amongst a group of people, regardless of the familiarity but I long for that comforting feeling you bestow on those lucky enough to receive. 

--

I met a girl today.

She’s sweet, and also Korean. Communication can be rough here, and if I’m being completely honest, I thought that these emotions I had harbored for you were just something I kept out of the loneliness. But meeting this girl was almost solidifying what I felt for you, and how much I regret coming here, away from it all. Dreams are dreams, they’re aspirations that you hoped to aim for, but as humans, we are selfish, desiring for more. I wanted more. I wanted you.

--

Reminiscing to the time we first met, I thought of you as just Jungkook’s little friend who stuck by his side like glue. Someone who followed him around because she crushed on him and he didn’t reciprocate. Boy, I was wrong. I never realized how much Jungkook enjoyed your support, wanting you to be there, how motivating it was for you to cheer in the sidelines until I was one of the people you were encouraging. 

I never felt so driven to my goals in my entire life. It’s probably how I’ve gotten so far. At this rate, Jungkook is going to be an olympian because of you.

Alarmed by Jungkook’s presence, you jolt in your seat on the bleachers, holding the letter against your chest. “Fuck, you scared me.”

He’s drying his soaked hair with a towel, shirtless with only his swim trunks on, eyeing you prudently. You had been reading the letters that Taehyung had left in the envelope, all written on thin pieces of parchment paper as if he didn’t own any actual stationary. They’d been so flimsy yet folded in such a way that when it had fallen out previously, it almost seemed like just one sheet of paper. 

“What did those letters say?”

“Uh, nothing worthwhile.” You respond abruptly. 

Jungkook pauses in the midst of his actions, bewilderment written on his face. “Are you alright? You... are acting a bit suspicious.”

Ambiguously, you hunch over, slipping everything back into the bag. Jungkook and your relationship was fresh, so fresh that it had only been a couple days of being together and you were already hit with an obstacle. Do you tell Jungkook things Taehyung said? Do you let him read the letters? They felt personal, something between just the two of you, but Jungkook was your boyfriend now.

“Let’s... talk about this later,” You conclude, ascending from the seat while grabbing your personal items. “Will you be ready soon? I kind of want to go right now.” Taking your wrist, his hand warmly tightens in the grip but loosens up promptly. “Hey, are you alright? You seem a bit off.”

From behind Jungkook, you detect Taehyung walking in your direction with Hoseok by his side, exchanging laughter during their route. His eyes meet yours for a moment before you quickly avert your attention, fixating it back on Jungkook as your cheeks flush pink. “I just want to go home. Can we go home?”

He nods, unzipping his duffel bag and pulls out a T-shirt. “We can go. I need to go change my pants in the bathroom—“

Taehyung and Hoseok are getting closer.

“OK— let’s go,” Snatching his bag, you tug on his arm and rush to the locker room, Jungkook trailing behind with his shirt barely on. “Oh— what—“

Finally reaching the changing room, you look around for any potential athletes. Sighing after realizing everyone has left, you rummage through his belongings for his shorts. “Don’t be mad if I tell you this.”

“Why would I ever be mad at you?”

Your eyes look through your curled lashes, Jungkook watches your expression with a tightened heart. Jesus, even when you’ve got him so anxious that he feels like he’s sitting at the edge of his seat, he can’t help but think how pretty you look.

“I think Taehyung was trying to confess to me.”

Immediately, his face washes over with anger. “What? Taehyung tried to confess to you? Is that what those letters were about?” Nodding in response, you fist the hem of your shirt restlessly. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to view his role model in a different light. “Well, they were just letters he wrote with how he felt about me while away. I’m not sure how to react. I’m sure it’s nothing serious though—”

“You don’t, that’s what you do. Why would you do anything? Other than reject him, you tell him you have a boyfriend now and that what he’s doing is wrong.”

“But he’s a friend, Jeon.”

“A friend who just told you he likes you despite the fact that he knows you’re dating someone.”

“He didn’t know before that.”

Thwarted, he leans over and pulls the waistband of his shorts down, exposing more of his skin than intended. He’s too annoyed and frustrated to even care that his swim trunks are down to his ankles, completely revealing himself in his all naked glory before taking his shorts out of your hands. Blood rushes into your cheeks at the sight, turning your head away. 

“Why do you keep defending him? Do you still like him?”

Your face snaps back to his direction, forgetting about his current state before reversing your head away again. “Of course not, why would you ask that?”

“Because you’re acting awfully uncomfortable with him around and defending him like you have something to hide.”

“Jeon, I don’t. You know that I like you.”

“If I’m being honest,” He’s in the midst of dressing himself as he speaks before running his fingers through his hair. “We’ve only been dating a couple days and before that, I assumed you still had a crush on Taehyung.”

Standing up, you scowl at his response. “That was just an observation you had, not the truth. Jeon, are you jealous?” You find yourself drawing closer to Jungkook, arms draping over his shoulders before caressing the nape of his neck gingerly. He exhales out a deep breath, giving into your touch and resting his hands on your waist, lids falling shut. “A bit, yeah. How could I not? You used to tell me all these things about him— how kind and sweet he is, how he gives you snacks during our practices, how he does these little things for you that shows he cares... how am I supposed to compete with that?”

“You don’t,” You reiterate his words from earlier. “You don’t try to compete, you don’t think about him or what he has done. You’re just you, that’s more than enough for me.”

“Okay, okay. I know. It’s just... I’ve always looked up to Taehyung, and you know this. He has everything I could only dream of having, including you—”

“Jungkook, he doesn’t have me. You have me.”

His eyes soften. After being friends with you for so long, he couldn’t believe that he’d been lucky enough to have you in his arms. His anger diminishes from the tone of your assuring words as he presses his forehead against yours. It had been a haunting thought in his mind throughout the decade, how you could ever possibly be his. And with you in his embrace now, he’s not sure if he deserves having you here or how to keep you.

“Okay, I... alright. Maybe you can have a civil conversation with him about this and let him down easy.” He suggests, lifting his solemn gaze to meet with yours. Jungkook felt uneasy at the idea of you being alone with Taehyung, but he’d come to understand that it was the right thing to do. “I just don’t want to be dropped because Hyung suddenly realizes what he’s missing.”

“Well,” You shrug nonchalantly as you continue. “He’s super late. You’ve always had me, it just... took awhile for me to realize it too. Thankfully, I wasn’t late.”

“You would’ve never been late,” Jungkook admits, feeling as though all the pieces have fallen into place after hearing your confession on that very night. To him, it was the start of something new, despite always having been by your side. You were finally his. “I couldn’t even notice any other girls, look how many had confessed to me yet I was so blinded by you!”

Clicking your tongue, you slap his chest in unison with a light laugh. “Oh, shut up. Guess it’s my turn to let someone down.”

A week later is when you’re confident enough to confront Taehyung.

“You wanted to talk?” Taehyung asks, approaching you on the sidelines of the football field that’s occupied by the players during their daily practice. The sound of the coach’s whistle rings in your ears, interrupting your thoughts as well as Taehyung’s voice. You wanted to talk to him alone, not entirely alone, but enough to not cause any discomfort.

“Yeah,” You say softly, the bag of gifts and letters in one of your hands. “This... thank you, Taehyung, for this. But I can’t accept your gift if it means I have to accept your feelings.”

His expression is sullen. “I’m not asking you to accept them, I just wanted to let you know that they exist, and that they always have.” Taehyung lets out a sigh, glancing over at the field. “Keep the gifts, they were things I bought because I thought of you when I laid my eyes on it.” Arms dropping along with your body, you plop onto the bench. “Why did you decide to tell me now?”

“I’ve wanted to tell you since the moment I realized it when I was in the States. I was waiting for my next trip here to finally let you know,” He declares, sitting beside you. “Didn’t think Jungkook had the balls to actually confess to you. It was about time.”

“I was the one who confessed.”

Taehyung turns to you with widened eyes, startled. “Really? You’re the one who confessed? Turns out Jungkook really doesn’t have the balls.”

You frown. “Don’t say that, I did it discreetly and he overheard. He didn’t think I felt anything back for him.”

“Regardless, I can’t believe he actually made a move. He’s been crushing on you forever. What friend talks about his best friend that frequently without having feelings for her? He even had me falling for you with how he describes you.”

“You fell for me?” Appalled, you turn to meet his gaze. “You’re in love with me? I thought you just... liked me.”

“Are you kidding?” He exasperates, shaking his head in disbelief. “Look at yourself, you’re gorgeous. Understanding of others, kind, selfless— who wouldn’t fall for you? Your only flaw is how oblivious you are to these things. You know how you thought Jungkook was an idiot when it came to girls having feelings for him? You’re the same way but with men! Hoseok even liked you for a bit before realizing that Jungkook had already been smitten by you.”

“What?” Was the only word you managed to choke out, astonished by all the information being thrown at you at once. “Did Jungkook never tell you? Hoseok said he liked you but Jungkook mentioned something about loving you for so long... but don’t get me wrong, Kook would never tell his friend not to go for it.”

“Then what?”

“Hoseok... waited. Wanted to see how legitimate Jungkook’s feelings were for you. Figured out that Jungkook couldn’t even get himself a girlfriend because he was so caught up with you so Hoseok gave up so Kook could... chase.”

“And you?” You’ve got your bottom lip between your teeth, biting anxiously that it would be swollen by the time you let it go. “What about you?”

He chuckles at your reaction, pushing his hair back, away from his face. “Probably around the same time as Hoseok, I got caught too. Difference is that I knew Jungkook liked you, just wasn’t sure if it was worth ruining a friendship for.” Taehyung shakes his leg apprehensively, eyes warding from you and focused on the players running amuck. “It wasn’t. Jungkook looked up to me, despite the fact that we are friends. He wanted to be me— with this scholarship and opportunity overseas. But I hope he realizes what he’s giving up if he gains all of that.”

You raise a brow questioningly. “And what’s that?”

“What I said in the letter,” His stare trails down the field as the members of the school’s football team begin another set of drills, yelling and hollering at each other. “You’re away from the people you love. You’re away from the girl you’re in love with. Your friends aren’t near anymore, not a phone call away. You start to miss your mom nagging your ear off and the way your dad chews his food so obnoxiously.”

“Is... that how you feel?” Pulling your legs to your chest, you rest your chin on knees, lips pressed into a straight line. “Are you lonely over there, Tae?”

“All the time,” He confesses, gathering enough courage to finally turn and watch you. “I miss everything about here, that’s why I grabbed the first flight I could to come back. I missed my friends, I missed my family. It wasn’t the same without Jungkook’s personal cheerleader sitting in the crowd, hollering out everyone’s name. You were just as a motivation to me as to him.”

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m with Jungkook now.”

“I’m not asking you to date me,” He concedes, and your brows fall inwardly in complexity. “I just want your support. I don’t have that over there. It’s like I’m chasing this dream but there’s nobody to share the success with. What’s a dream when you don’t have the people you love around you to share it with?”

Unconsciously, the conversation between you and Taehyung flooded your thoughts throughout the rest of the day.

It had become a personal concern, something that disregarded Taehyung’s feelings for you and your relationship with Jungkook.

What did this mean for you, someone who was close to graduating high school? Would you go to University? And even if you did, what would your field of expertise be? Your major? What were you even good at? It had become clear that the length of time spent at Jungkook’s games were for supporting him, yet he couldn’t come to anything of yours because well... you didn’t have a passion.

“You’re awfully quiet.”

“Huh?” Your train of thoughts are interrupted by Jungkook who glances over at you while driving in his signature beat up car with the windows down and the breeze running through his chocolate brown locks. He looks angelic like this— in his happy place (which is his car), on the way home from school after waiting for you in the parking lot after talking to Taehyung.

“You’ve been silent for the whole time. Since you came into the car and the entire ride. Something Taehyung said?”

“Possibly,” You’re short, but you don’t mean to be. “Where are we going?” Jungkook makes an unfamiliar turn, changing his route away from the direction of home.

“Somewhere special so we can talk.”

Momentarily, you reach somewhere in the suburbs with mostly trees and grasslands. You’re parking under an overpass, it seems, but out of use. There aren’t many cars nearby, but the view of the sunset is clear and the air is clean and crisp as you inhale the freshness of nature deeply with your eyes closed, embracing the feeling. Jungkook twists his keys as the engine stops it’s ruckus noise, and the car comes to a halt as his body is now facing you in his seat. “Talk to me.”

“Jeon, it’s nothing.”

“Just because I’m your boyfriend now doesn’t make me less of your friend than before. It just means I’m more.”

You roll your eyes. But regardless, he’s right. You’re insecure about your career path, your choices and what you’ll do in the future, but sitting beside a guy who seems to know everything he wants is intimidating. Especially when he’s someone you want to be deserving of.

“I...” Hesitant, you know that it’s something you have to do anyway. Jungkook has been with you— thick and thin— so what makes this time different from the rest? “Taehyung kept talking about his dream. How, although he’s over there chasing this aspiration, it doesn’t feel fulfilling because he’s not around the people he loves to share it with.”

Jungkook scoffs before letting you finish. “Sounds selfish—“

“No,” you interject. “That’s not where I was going with this.”

“Then where’s your head at, love?”

You pause. There’s a lot to uncover here, and if you’re completely unfiltered, Jungkook will realize how absolutely lost you are. Admitting you’re lost might make Jungkook’s feelings ambivalent, but nonetheless, you take in a deep breath of fortitude and continue. It was either now or never.

“I don’t have those aspirations. I don’t know what I’m going to do or what I’m going to be, and you’re here with the biggest dreams. You have so much motivation and will to get there— but what about me? I don’t have anything. I don’t have a passion, a hobby... nothing. What am I supposed to be? Jungkook’s cheerleader for life?”

He sighs at your words, leaning over to brush a strand of hair away from your face. His lips purse in thought for a moment, causing doubtful ideas popping into your head before he bursts the bubble by shattering the glass of quietude. “You are and will always be, Jungkook’s personal cheerleader. But that’s not your title and entirety, it’s just something you are because I love your support and beliefs in me. However, love, I don’t want you to think that’s all you are and all you’re made for.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well,” he begins, leaning back in his seat. “That’s for you to decide. I don’t want you to feel like all you are is my support team. You’re more than that, you’re capable of anything. Everyone is lost at our age, only some of us know what we truly want to do. And I’ll help you find your way— I’m also your personal cheerleader.”

“Isn’t it tiring?”

“What’s tiring?”

“Trying to be a personal cheerleader of someone who doesn’t have anything to cheer for.”

Jungkook takes a moment to organize his thoughts, peeling off a bit of the leather on his steering wheel. “No. Everything I do for you feels effortless. Everything I feel for you is effortless. I don’t have to try in order to want to do things for you, and I don’t have to try to love you. I just do, it comes naturally. But... I also don’t want you to feel this way, and I want to help you find what makes you happy.”

Just listening to the way he speaks about you and the expression on his face is full of worry warms your heart. You feel stupid— how could you have waited that long to tell Jungkook your feelings for him, and thinking about other guys when you had one right in your face all along?

In the spur of the moment, you’re not sure where you get all this assertiveness from, but you cup his cheeks, pulling him into a kiss. It’s heated— the way his tongue fights its way into your mouth, slipping between your lips as you climb over the center console to straddle his hips while he pulls his seat back for more space. His hands barely hover your waist, so innocently and gentlemen-like, and you take notice of this, placing your own on top of his then guiding him to wrap it around your frame as he complies. Pressing your hips down against his, he lets out a groan from both your boldness and the feeling of your weight against his jeans.

This was different compared to the first time— back then, you knew you wanted Jungkook, but you weren’t sure how to show it. You held back, both from inexperience and uncertainty that he’d find out about your love for him, but this time, he knew, and he reciprocated those emotions back.

Your fingertips played with the fabric of his shirt on his shoulders as his own traveled their way up the hem of your skirt, rubbing the skin of your thigh that it made you shiver. Pulling away from his lips, your foreheads pressed against each other, watching with hooded eyes and heavy uneven breaths. 

“Well,” He says between breaths. “This isn’t like the first time.”

“No, it’s the second. We’re more experienced now. And stop counting, it’s weird.” With that, you push yourself down against his crotch, earning another moan emitting between his swollen pink and plump lips, his hands accompanying your hips to maneuver and gain more friction. You watch his euphoric expression as his head drops back onto the seat, lips agape and brows furrowed, focusing on the movements. His neck exposed, you can’t help but attach your mouth on the skin, so soft and smooth, licking and tugging it between your teeth before he pushes you away slightly, your brows crinkling in confusion.

“Something wrong?”

“I might actually cum in my pants if we keep doing it like this.”

Seconds later, his pants were hung low just enough to free his cock. The tip is leaking with pre-cum, and he’s pulsing against his stomach from the brief humping session. He has a hand wrapped around his cock, smearing his arousal and giving himself a couple pumps. You weren’t going to lie—but seeing him unraveled like this beneath your grasp sparked confidence in your blood, wanting more. “Should I take off my panties?”

“No,” He responds, fingers toying with the fabric underneath your skirt. “We’re in public, if we get caught, at least we can have some dignity and get dressed quickly.” You roll your eyes at his response, but nonetheless, he tugs your underwear aside, sufficient enough for access. He keeps his eyes locked onto yours, hand trailing down to meet with your center, thumb swiping across your slit. Gently, he slips a finger in, waiting for the nod of approval from you before letting in another until you felt ready enough for him.

“Fuck— I forgot a condom.”

“Don’t... I’m on the pill. And... I trust you.” He twitches at your words, a husky grunt leaving his lips as he positions himself under you, watching your contorted expression while he lifts his hips upwards as yours does the opposite, head rolling back at the feeling of fullness. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Compared to the first time, you were so bare, so wet for him. He thought that losing your virginity to each other was when he felt close to you, but this was a whole other meaning to close.

Never in your life you would’ve thought you’d be dating your best friend, let alone fucking Jungkook in the driver seat of his beat up car. You also never saw yourself having enough courage to be riding him either, hands now on either side of his head, resting on the seat for more control and leverage as he angles his hips up to hit yours, the sudden new change of position causing a whimper to leave you.

“Deep?” He asks, his eyes barely open from the intense pleasure. You nod dumbly, loss for words, the car rocking and creaking underneath the rough thrusting. His fingers are digging into your ass, guiding your hips to move at a quicker pace, erupting noises from you that you never thought you’d make. You were filled with this new movement, unable to hold back any longer.

Suddenly, his hand slides down between where your bodies meet, pressing and rubbing against your clit that you feel the coil in your stomach tightening, letting out loud gasps and moans that are music to Jungkook’s ears, jerking up sharply into you messily. Head spinning relentlessly at the pleasure, you feel yourself hitting your peak, and Jungkook knows this from you clenching around his cock. “Close?”

“S-so close,” You whisper, too fucked out to even respond properly. Moments later, you’re coming, body shivering at the overwhelming amount of pleasure, long and hard with a hand clenching and nails digging into his shoulder. He gives you a second to regain yourself, riding out your climax before he snaps up into you sloppily, reaching his own high. In an instant, his crotch stills in you, body trembling underneath you as his cum paints your walls.

You drop your body tirelessly on his, panting from exhaustion as he grows limp inside you, arms wrapping around your waist. 

Although he was out of breath, chest heaving densely, he still managed to speak. “Did I make it up to you this time?” 

Oooh girl there was once concept I sent you awhile back and I'm still craving it. It's where you are either cramping cause you're on your period or you've just had a horrid day, and pre-relationship Jeff wants to go all out to comfort you but he doesn't know how to do that without revealing his ever growing feelings towards you. I'm in for sooo much fluff right now. I have written SO much smut in the past 2 days that I just need some Jeffrey cuddle time at this point. LOL

late but I hope u still like it I love uuuuu❣️

It’s a day from hell, your meeting running well into your lunch break and workload never ceasing in volume.

To top it off, your period comes early and surprises you in the middle of the afternoon.

So with a heavy heart, you drop Jeff a simple message asking to reschedule your movie night.

There’s no reply as you finally get in your car and watch the office disappear around the corner, it’s looming pressure still heavy on your shoulders even as you ran for the lift inside your apartment complex.

You check your phone again, thrown deepening at the read 5:08pm that stares back at you.

Is he upset? The last thing you need on this Friday night is for your best friend to be upset with you for cancelling your weekly movie night.

The dark thoughts stay with you as you make it to your floor and step off the elevator, only to smack straight into a hard wall, or rather, chest as you turn the corner to your door.

‘Woah...careful doll’ you hear him before you see him, head lifting up so fast it almost gives you a whiplash as you finally look up to see Jeff standing right in front of you, one hand holding a plastic bag & other wrapped around your lower back to stop the almost fall you’ve had.

‘Hi? I - did you get my text? I’m so sorry but I’ve had the worst day ever and I don’t know if-‘ Jeff stops your stressed rambling, sensing the way tension to seeps into you as you continue to rant.

His hand drops the bag in an instant, both moving to carefully wrap around the nape of your neck and the other to cradle your warm cheek respectively.

‘I figured as much, you’ve been mia all day & I thought I’d grab your favourite and we could talk about it yeah? What do ya say doll?’

He’s soft in his delivery, eyes focused on your every expression and head leaning down to look you directly in the eye.

It makes his own mind spin momentarily before he reminds himself to focus on you and what you need right now.

You almost protest. Nearly thank him for being thoughtful but ask to reschedule in order to wallow in your own pity for the night.

But then you let yourself indulge, feel Jeff’s familiar warmth surrounding you after not seeing him since last week, texts and face time calls not nearly enough to appease your heart.

Giving in feels cathartic. Jeff knows it too, as soon as your head falls against his hard chest, this time intentionally, and you wrap your smaller arms around his waist in a needed hug.

The two of you stay that way for a while, minutes going by with you wrapped up tightly in his warmth, the stresses of your day slowly melting away.

Jeff himself finds his own eyes closing, taking a deep breath to truly appreciate having you this close, it only happens once in a while.

The comfort of it, familiarity in the way you find such solace in each other, no matter how busy you both become, how hard your week has been or how life gets in the way sometimes, you always have this: each other to hold tight.

His heart syncs with your own, thudding against your rib cage and softly against his own through his sweater. It feels so right, so easy to let the words slip past his mouth when you furrow deeper into his embrace, nose inhaling his familiar scent that’s just so Jeff it hurts.

The ‘I love you, so much darling’ feels equal parts euphoric and terrifying as he whispers his confession into your hairline.

You pause, all movement ceased as your mine catches up to his words.

Spoken so eloquently in the hallway as your food gets called in the bag by both your feet.

When you try to pull away, only far enough to see him again, Jeff’s initial response is to try and keep you in his arms.

The laugh and half playful huff of his name which leaves your mouth makes the man cave and finally let you move away.

‘You mean?-‘ ‘that I’m in love with my best friend? Yeah...kinda’ he interrupts your gentle prodding, breath picking up as your pretty eyes only stare at him in silent wonder.

He wants you to look at him like that all the time. ‘What - I, When?’ You finally stutter out, heart leaping in your chest at the way his right hand subconsciously reaches to nervously play with the hair at the back of his hair.

Jeff almost asks you two to continue this inside, his brain firing a quick reminder that staying put makes his escape route much easier if it all goes south.

He’s already done it now: said the words that have plagued his mind for months.

He doesn’t regret them, feels somewhat lighter despite your lack or response mirroring the daydreams in which he’s taken to building up this pretty little life the two of you could have.

He laughs nervously, ‘When? I mean, properly? since December I guess. If you want the exact moment then I can’t give you that- I think I’ve been in love with you since that time you met my mom and helped her make breakfast and you made my dad laugh so hard he got hiccups. Or maybe when you called in sick to go to the vets with me when Nerf found my chocolate stash or-‘

Jeff doesn’t get to finish that thought. To continue his endless list of reasons you’re the first thing on his mind in the morning and the last person he thinks about before bed as he finds you in his dreams soon after that.

You’ve heard enough, throat closing up as your best friend admits he’s loved you for almost 10 months now, perhaps longer if half of his recollections are anything to go by.

Your lips are on his before you even think it through, a natural instinct to the sweet words that drip off his tongue.

Jeff falls into it within seconds, eyes bulging open before he realises you’re kissing him and he finally closes them before reciprocating the soft touch as his hand wrap around your waist and pull you in tight.

Once you run out of breath and have to pull away, his lips chase your own before your giggling make him smile and take in the sight of you staring up at him like he’s brighter than every star in the sky.

‘I take it you-‘

‘I love you too’ you confess, promise to tell him every instance that’s made your heart leap in your chest once you two get inside and cuddle on the couch with the somehow still warm food in your laps.

Hi! I can’t see anything that says requests are closed but I’m sorry if I’m mistaken! Could you do a Dazai and (female) reader smut with lots of dirty talk and foreplay? I can’t find anything that really suits my... style of horny... I like when he’s kinda possessive and dominate so yeah... sorry if this is too detailed or just straight up weird 😖 and I have no sense of dignity so I’m not even going to do this anonymously lmao

Genre: NSFW

Tags: First time together, Dirty talking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Foreplay

{ A/N: I gotcha, misty-mochiii~ 😉 haha I'm sorry, I know this is long overdue! I hope you can forgive me. I hope the foreplay and dirty talking is up to your liking~ my skills in the dirty talking department is really questionable so I hope it didn't reflected on my work very much haha! Anyway, feel free to request again! Thank you for your endless support! Enjoyyy! 💗🥰 }

˚ * . ⊹ • ꒰꒱ • ⊹. * ˚

The warmth of Dazai’s hand on yours battles the cold wind of this fateful evening but it's nothing compared to the coldness of your sweating palm. The street you are strutting down on is dim but perfectly alive and busy regardless of the hour. Neon signs flash everywhere, tantalizing promises are written on them for every lovers passing by.

Your throat is dry and your head is pounding from the sound of your own heartbeat. Despite being in this part of the city before, it’s the first time to share a night with the man who’s holding you right now. Expectations failed to form and any attempt to think of one quickly bubbles up and evaporates out of your mind.

Dazai looked back and flashed you a familiar comforting smile and you smiled back, but the concern on your crooked eyebrows is not easy to hide.

Finally, you stopped at the love hotel by the end of the street. Your knees shook slightly as you step inside and the banging of your heart just became louder once a room key was dropped on Dazai’s hand. The whirring of the elevator and the footsteps you took towards your assigned room drowned out of your head. You’re nervous, excited. Feelings stirred and clashed with each second passed.

The click of the door as it opened pulled you back on earth. The room smelled of flowers and the air conditioning hummed softly in the background. Dazai walked in nonchalantly while you tremble. He guided you on to the bed, the soft hues of colorful lights almost making you dizzy. He sat down beside you, caressing your flushed cheek with one hand.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” He asked in a hushed voice while your own is stuck somewhere inside your sandy throat.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? Or have I read your signals all wrong?” Dazai spoke as he leaned forward to place a kiss at the tip of your nose. 

You gathered your thoughts together to reply hastily in fear of the possibility that you might never get this opportunity again.

“No, I-” you drew a deep breath. “This is what I want. I want this.”

He hummed. “Good. I thought I had to stop when I’m already so hungry for you.”

You restrained a yip when Dazai pushed your body down the springy mattress. Not a second was wasted as he claimed control over you in an instant, pressing your wrists down while his lips ravaged yours.

Months of teasing and sexual tension between the two of you snapped in a blink of time. The fire that has been burning in the furnace of your core, now blazing brightly as it consumes the entirety of your being. You can barely feel the cold air circulating the room from Dazai’s hot breath fanning on your neck as he liberally taste every spot he could latch on. One of his hand eventually reached down to palm the building arousal on your sex, letting out your first loud moan of the night.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dazai chuckled. His husky voice making its way to the inner corners of your ear. “Was I being too fast? That won’t do. This is our first night. I ought to do it right, don’t you think?”

A pleading look on your eyes was your only response.

“Don’t worry, my darling.” His lips made its way down on your neck once again. “I will kiss every inch of you before I fuck you.”

The sentence made you clenched. Your flesh ached more for him. Your skin turned paper thin, responding eagerly to every feathery touch.

“You wouldn’t mind if I remove your shirt now, would you? It’s in my way.” He threw you a smirk. There, you were left speechless. Only managing to watch as his fingers hooked and pushed your shirt up.

His hands stopped on the underside of your breasts. The cold breeze started to infect your exposed stomach before Dazai's sloppy kisses awoke the butterflies resting within.

Your head planted down on the soft pillow underneath you from the unexpected sensation. His tongue dragged its way up to the valley of your breasts, teasingly pulled your shirt completely off of you and ogled the dark lingerie you have underneath.

"You wore this especially for me, huh?" He asked, gently palming the thin lace covering, thumbs brushing innocently on your perked up nubs. "How thoughtful of you. And because of that, I'll be kind in return by not ripping them off."

True to his words, Dazai just pushed the fabric aside to come in skin to skin contact with your breasts. He kept his lustful gaze locked on yours as he went down and licked one of your nipples.

"Do you have any idea how long I've been wanting to do this?" An almost innocent smile was drawn on his lips as he continued. "I've always wondered what you're hiding under those clothes and I'm truly not disappointed. Such nice pair of tits you got here."

Dazai chuckled lightly, proceeding to knead and suck on your breasts, moving from one to another without a moment of pause. Your moans joined in with his, your head spinning from the sensation he keeps on building up inside of you. Dazai's hand found its way past your skirt and down to your underwear, running his middle finger up and down your slit.

"What's this? You're this wet already? Do you like getting your tits sucked this much?" Dazai asked rhetorically. Of course, you like it. No, you love it. Especially that it's him who's doing it to you. "What an erotic woman. I bet you already want my finger inside you, don't you?"

"Yes," you whispered. "I do. Please, I'm so wet, I might die if you don't do something about it now. Like, right now."

An amused laugh left Dazai. "Well, how can I say no to that?"

He shifted his hand from its current spot to slip underneath your panties. You inhaled sharply as his fingers slithered their way into your core, where everything is just slick and soaked.

"Besides," he added. "Good girls who knows how to ask get what they want."

A finger promptly entered you as you scream in delight. You peeped open your eyes to see Dazai devilishly watching you writhe beneath him as he fiddled with you like a toy.

"You're so tight down here. Seems like you haven't had a cock in you for a while now, hmm?"

You nodded weakly.

"Good thing I planned to use mine on you tonight, then. Such a tight pussy deserves to be stretched out every once in awhile, don't you agree?"

Another weak nod.

"And would you like me to do that for you? Do you want my cock inside you?"

This time, a much more enthusiastic nod.

"Hmm, and do you think you can handle it? Once I put it in, there's no way I'm going to stop fucking you. Think you can do it?"

"Yes," you gasped. "Oh, yes. God, yes. That's exactly what I want."

"That's the spirit," he smiled. "In that case, let's put one more."

Along came another scream from you. Your walls burned and stinged from the stretch but Dazai's fingers aren't faltering from driving in and out of you.

"And another one."

A third finger was carelessly shoved and your eyes shot wide open. You grabbed on to Dazai's shirt, hoping to keep yourself steady from the merciless assault. Through your dazed mind, you can hear nothing but your own trembling moans and the squelching sounds from your own sex. One more push and your climax came unraveling like yarn on Dazai's hand. Your face was nuzzled on his chest as your body spasmed and shook uncontrollably. It ended as soon as it started and you were left weak, holding on to him for dear life. His chest quaked from a dark snicker.

"Look how wet you are," he said, holding up the three fingers that from your frenzy, you didn't even noticed he's pulled out. "My fingers are totally soaked, they almost pruned. Amazing."

"Let me grab a tissue for you," you offered but Dazai was quick to pin you back down.

"Don't you even think that I'm already done with you, my darling. The night is still young," he uttered with a honeyed voice. "And since I've been good, I think it's time you let me have a taste of you."

"Dazai, wait! I'm still sensitive down there!"

The thought of being stimulated after such an orgasm was arousing, but also terrifying. Dazai paid no heed, just smirking before wetting his lips.

Any of your further protests fell on deaf ears as Dazai continued to pull your panties off before spreading your legs apart. You gulped thickly as he once more locked eyes with you, placing his hold on your thighs and gently licked you up. You legs trembled and your head fell backwards, the warmth and softness of Dazai's tongue was already bringing you another piece of paradise.

"Your pussy tastes so sweet," he commented in between the busyness of his mouth.

Fireworks seemed to crackle and pop all at once in the back of your eyelids when Dazai's mouth enclosed on your clit and the fast sucking motion sent your mind floating on the milky way. He moaned against your flesh as you grab a fistful of his hair and your hips bucked up, inadvertently burying his face deeper into you. Dazai's tongue was reaching places nobody has ever done before and it was when that the tip of his tongue probed your entrance, that got you crying out his name like a hopeless prayer towards the heavens. He suckled and slurped on your sore flesh until your legs quivered and your head went numb. You let yourself absolutely lost on the explosion of sensations below you when Dazai all of a sudden stopped to hover above you. The next thing you know, you're tasting yourself on his lips.

"You look so good spread open like this just for me," he said. "Would you prefer coming on my tongue or on my cock this time?"

There was a skip on your racing heartbeat as you hear the offer you've been waiting for all night. Despite your trembling jaws, you mustered what's left of your coarse voice and answered: "Your cock. Please."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Dazai smirked as he reached down to fumble with his pants. "Your moans turned me on so much. I might just come right when I enter you."

A gleeful laugh was in contrast of his voice– dark and husky in desire. Dazai made his point as you feel his rock hard erection rubbing on you clit. You gasped and he groaned; both of your bodies tingling in anticipation.

"Just look at what you did to me." He kept grinding on you and you can practically feel the excited twitches of his cock. "At this rate, I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

With one calculated push of his hips, the swollen head of his cock slipped inside you. A long drawn out moan vibrated on your vocal chords as Dazai pushed the rest of his length within you, fanning the flames of your desire to its fullest extent. Your muscles stretched and clenched as he fills you up. Breathless whispers of how good you're making him feel drifted around your floating thoughts. Time seemingly slowed down, pleasure taking over and nothing mattered but the throbbing of your arousal against his.

"I'll make sure that after I'm done, you'll crave for my cock and my cock only."

One rough thrust started the rally of his animalistic pace. Your nails digged deep into his bandaged arm like you're holding on at the edge of a cliff. Guttural moans timed with every forceful push of his hips; he's aiming to make a mess out of you.

"After tonight, you won't be able to cum with anyone else than me," said a raspy whisper on your ear as slender fingers pressed on your hips, keeping you in place despite the unkind slapping of his skin on yours.

"You'll think of me even if you're with another man," he continued. "Everytime you touch yourself, every fantasy, every wet dream– you'll always think of me. Because no other man got a cock that feels this good on your little pussy, am I right?"

Stuttering curses, you answered. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes."

It greatly amused him. How helpless yet so lovely you look right now, sobbing and crying just from the way he pounds you. So, he decided to give you more. He promised himself that he'll wreck you in the most pleasant way, and he will accomplish that mission.

His cock plunged deep within your canal, the tip kissing the opening of your cervix. There was a change in his pace, hips bucking tightly, reaching a bundle of nerves that made you see the entire universe in a flash. Everything is getting all too much for you to come up with anything creative to say other than his name, some pleas for mercy and broken curses. But with utter cruelty, Dazai's lips connected with your nipple once again, sucking sharply and letting it loll around his tongue. With an arched back and legs locked around his waist, you screamed out your pleasure. You're now somewhere in the ether, riding a cloud between your legs. You've never been this high before but your body's still asking for more.

"Can I cum in you?" He whispered. He can see how much you're out of it so he continued, leaning closer. "I want to see my cum spilling out of you and right now, I'm ready to dump it all inside of you. You'd like that, don't you?"

An absent-minded hum of approval was all Dazai needed to straighten himself up, sling your legs over his shoulders and use you as he desired. A rough thrust after another, until you're shaking, warm muscles convulsing against his cock, your mouth opened to a big-o, and you were gone. Only throaty groans left your chapped lips, as one bomb sets off another, making waves and pulses all over your sensitized body.

The scene made Dazai beyond ecstatic, pushing his own orgasm to its peak. The composure he worked hard to keep up slipped in an instant. Random pulses of his hips gave it away, and once his semen began spurting out of his cock, he bit down on a soft spot on your calf, masking his low growls.

Dazai bottomed out on you, every stream of his warm cum collected inside your walls. You felt how it streamed down and filled you, a memory that you might save for any lonely nights in the future. You savored the moment of watching Dazai ascended and descended from his high, kissing his bite mark and smiling at you.

His erection was still mighty and solid inside of you despite the obvious exhaustion of the man who wields it. A weight pressed down on your body as he lay on top of you, heaving and panting just as hard.

With the promise of another round after a few moments, you closed your eyes and hoped that you'll wake up with his lips intertwining with yours.

What’s In a Name: Epilogue - J. Toews

Epilogue.

Where we left off: Jon and Bekah welcomed Lincoln into the world in 2020.

Warnings: smut, language

Word Count: 3,827

Series Masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

2025.

The rink has seemed like home for Bekah since meeting and marrying Jon. This morning it was a bit different as she kneels in front of her now five year old tying his hockey skates.

"Tight enough Linc?" Bekah asks and Lincoln stands to his feet.

"Yes, Momma. Maybe even better than Daddy does it." Bekah muffles her laugh from Lincoln's comment.

"Good. Now, let's get this jersey and your helmet on." Bekah stands and pulls over the house hockey green jersey over his pads. She feels someone staring but doesn't take her focus off the very squirrelly Kindergartener who doesn’t have the patiences for her to stop. Tapping his helmet she hands him the gloves and the eyes she felt moves closer.

"Hey there!  Do ya'll know you have the same last name as the Hawk's captain and your son is wearing his number too. That's cute." Her comment was laced with a sense of entitlement and Bekah bit the inside of her cheek.

"Yup. Heard his foundation bought the jerseys for the league too." Bekah replies and turns her focus back to Lincoln as she rubbed lightly along the JT foundation logo on his shoulder. The woman then got called by her own son and scurried off before continuing.

"Is Daddy going to be off work before my game starts?" Lincoln's voice is muffled with his mouth guard in place.

"He should be here any moment baby boy." Bekah leans down to reassure him. "Speaking of!" Bekah eyes Jon coming through the doors of the rink. He embraces Bekah as he does every time he comes home before turning his attention to the kids.

"Sorry I'm late but looks like you’ve got this covered." Jon whispers after his lips brush hers.

"We are all set. And the fake Louis over there thinks it's cute Linc is wearing 19 and has the Captain's last name too." Bekah smirks.

"Well maybe Scar should run by with her Daddy sweater on." Jon shakes the toddler's hand. "Hey baby girl!" Bekah laughs and goes to take Scarlett out of the toddler carrier attached to her back. The now two year old in her St. Patrick's Day Daddy jersey goes running after Lincoln who started walking to his team. "You would think she runs this place." Jon laughs grabbing Bekah's hand as she tucks the carrier into Lincoln's bag.

"She had grown up coming here. Linc has been taking classes since she was 7 months old, Tae."

"I'm gonna go save Linc from the relentless questions I am sure she’s asking him." Jon heads over to scoop Scarlett up and wishes Lincoln's team good luck playing their first game. The three walk up to sit in the stands and Scarlett starts cheering as the team takes the ice.

"Coot! Core! Let's go Inks!" Scarlett's chubby hands clap.

"You really think he's okay playing with these older boys?" Bekah's leg is bouncing on up and down and Jon's hand settles her.

"Yes. He's playing up because he's good not because he's our son, Beks. No one knows he's five." Jon whispers to calm his wife's nerves.

Lincoln's first hockey game started and even though he was the youngest on the ice by two years, you would never guess. The Toews genes evident in how he played. Bekah, Jon, Scarlett cheered as he scored his first goal and then laughed as he jumped up in excitement but didn’t land on his skates. Bekah looked towards the scoreboard and realized the same mom from earlier was staring at Jon. "I might never get use to people just staring at you." Bekah whispered not realizing she even said it out loud.

"I know Babe." Jon's lips kiss her temple. "Maybe you should bring your Louis with you next game." Jon chuckles knowing the Louis Vuitton collecting dust in the closet was never coming to the hockey rink.

"Funny Tae... funny." Bekah bumps her shoulder into his side. "Maybe if Scar decides potty training is actually something she's interested in I could bring a real purse with me." Bekah spins one of Scarlett's ringlets around her finger.

"She won't even be three until February." Jon bounces his mini-me on his knee and she laughs.

"Yeah, yeah. I know, boys and girls are different." Bekah knowing where Jon was going with the conversation and how she already had Lincoln trained by Scarlett's age. "There you go Linc!" Bekah shouts as Lincoln dives in front of a puck and Jon's laugh rings out.

"You would never know Momma wasn't really into hockey ten years ago. Would ya?" Jon kisses Scarlett's head.  “Now she’s rocking the hockey mom life.” Bekah eyes Jon and he mouths, “sexy at it too.” Bekah feels the heat in her cheeks but turns her attention back to the ice.

The game ended and Jon helped Bekah put Scarlett back in her carrier then met Lincoln and his team.

“There’s my boy!” Jon scooped Lincoln up with all his gear on. “You played hard. We are so proud of you.” Jon drops Lincoln down and the three of them start taking off his gear while Lincoln talks a mile a minute recounting the entire game.

“Did you see my double shift dad? See how I used my skate to kick the puck out of the corner?” Lincoln’s little voice sounding just like Jon and both parents laugh.

“We sure did Linc. Now let’s get home and get ready for Auntie Rin, m’kay?” Bekah feels Scarlett bopping up and down on her back while Jon tries to control Lincoln’s excited dance as he attempts to undress him the rest of the way.

The car ride home was filled with giggles of Brynn’s arrival and recap of the game. Bekah grazed her finger down Jon’s arm and he shifts as she moved to his leg. “What was that for?” She questioned and sees Jon smirk.

“Nothin’ Beks.” The sly smirk permanently graced his face for the rest is the ride. Bekah dropped it knowing if it was something he was hiding she’d find out soon enough.

The kids bolt inside the house as soon as they are unbuckled. “Don’t go too far Rin will be here in less than an hour!” Bekah called out and hears a door shut from behind her and spins on her heals to see her best friend rounding her car.

“How about like one minute? You should know my driving skills would get me here faster!” Brynn opens her arms waiting for Bekah’s embrace. “Now help me with these crazies!” She pulls open the sliding door to a choir of squeals.

“Hey kids!” Bekah leans in and unbuckles Derek and Brynn’s newest edition to their family. Morgan’s little fingers make grabby hands at Bekah. “Hey sweet girl. You taking it easy on your Mommy?”

“You lied about 18 month old girls, friend.  Lied.” Brynn answered.

“Mom’s right Aunt Beks.” Jack, the oldest, pops out and half hugs Bekah. “Morgan is giving her a run for her money as Dad says.” All three adults laugh and Jon scoops up Brynn’s middle son, Jameson.

“How about you boys take Morgan to find Lincoln and Scar. I’m sure they are in the playroom. Remember how to get there?” Both boys nod and run in the house with their sister in tow.

Jon and Bekah flank Brynn as she breathes out. “I love them but they can be a lot.”

“And you are doing a damn good job. Have you heard when Morgan can be adopted yet?” Jon moves to the back of her van to take out the suitcases.

“Caseworker says she’s different than the boys even though it’s the same birth mom. So in the land of foster to adopt... We shall wait.” Brynn laughs. Derek and Brynn decided to be foster parents not long after Lincoln was born. They took placement of Jack and Jameson not long after finishing all their paperwork. Jack was 3 and Jameson was a newborn. When the couple found out that the birth mom had another baby and she could either go into foster care with different family or them. There was no question. They needed to keep the siblings together.

“So glad you decided to spend the boys’ fall break here Rin. I’ve missed you.” Bekah slid a drink over as Brynn launches herself up to the kitchen stool.

“Me too. How do the kids get up here? I see the pictures.” Brynn laughs while taking a sip.

“Have you seen my children, they climb on everything! Scar swings her tiny self up there and then jumps down. It’s resourceful.”

“They are Jon’s kids, there is no denying that.”  Brynn laughs with a sip.

“Hey!  I should take offense to that but I might have to agree there.”  Jon presses his lips to Bekah’s temple and she leans into him.  The friends fell into easy conversation until they were interrupted by Morgan who wanted a snack.  Jon handed the toddler enough fruit snacks for all of them and she toddled back.  “I’ve wondered this for awhile.  Why is she not a J?”

Both women just look at him.  “Tae, I’ve never thought about it.  Jack and Jameson.  A J girl name makes sense.”  Bekah looks at Brynn who just shrugs her shoulders.  The caseworker said her and Derek could change any of the kids names but they decided to leave them for a few reasons then gave the boys new middle names when they were officially adopted.

“They are all alcohol brands, but is that just...” Jon questions and Brynn’s mouth drops opens.  

“I... how... ummm...”  Brynn starts and her eye go wide.  “At least they aren’t named after the place they were...”  Brynn looks down the hall then back to her friends, “conceived.” Her face lights up with mischief.  

“Rin, Linc and Scar aren’t named after that.”  Bekah answers with a puzzled look written all over her face.  

“Sure they are.  Lincoln was in your Lincoln Park place and still miss that roof, every time I come here...”  Jon starts laughing as he’s caught on.

“But Scarlett?  Are you saying she was in Columbus?  Like Scarlett and Grey?  Because that’s not the case.”  Bekah runs her hand over her face.

“Beks, we live on Red Maple.  R-E-D.”  Jon laughs while pulling Bekah into his side.  “And everyone in this room can do the math on Scar’s birthday and my last cup win.”

“Oh.  My.  No!”  Bekah responds sending both Jon and Brynn into a fit of laughter.  

“So if Jon makes the All-Star game this year, maybe we can expect a Seattle named baby to come out of the trip?”  Brynn snickers knowing she’s getting under her best friend’s skin.

“Speaking of trips.  I miss you coming with me.”  Jon seems to have changed the subject before hearing his name being called and he retreats to answer the kids.

“Bekah, you know you could go with him Wednesday.  They play in St. Louis.  I’ve got the kids and Kelly lives here now.  I’m sure she can help if something goes crazy, which I don’t plan on that happening.”  Brynn jumps off the stool and backs up to look down the hallway.  “Seriously, you should go.”  

Brynn was right.  After the shut down of the economy in 2020, Kelly and Zack made the decision to move back to Chicago where Zack started teaching at DePaul for help with future college tuition.  Bekah and Jon hadn’t gotten away as much as they had in the past without taking the kids.  Taking a day and a half to go watch him play and enjoy dinner alone did sound amazing.  

“You sure Rin?”  Bekah sounded giddy.

“Yes, very much so.”  Brynn had wandered into the living room that was now the Sedona inspired room.  Prints hung of Jon and Bekah’s first trip, wedding day, the first time they took each kid and a family picture from the past summer when both kids hiked most of the way up.  “I like the new one!”

“Speaking of new ones.”  Jon’s stealth like entrance made both ladies jump.  “I have something for you, Babe.”  As he spoke, he pulls out a puck from his pocket.  Bekah spins it in her hand and tears come to her eyes.

“Lincoln’s first game 8U game. October 18, 2025.”  She sees that Jon had Lincoln sign the top too.  “Tae.”  She squeaks out.

“We might need a Lincoln shelf.”  Jon wraps his arms around his wife and pulls her in.

“Tell him!”  Brynn breaks the couple’s embrace as she spoke.  Jon looks down with his eyebrows raised.

“How about I come to St. Louis with you this week?”  Bekah stands on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “Just me.”

“YES!”  Jon shouts out.  “Seriously, Brynn?  You are making this happen?”  Jon turns and pulls her into a hug. 

“You two lovebirds...” Brynn started and looked at how Jon lifted Bekah up in the air in so much joy about a few moments alone. “Still after all these years I’m happy as hell for you but also your passion for one another is...” she starts making a heaving motion.

With that, Bekah and Brynn soaked up their time together. Let Lincoln take a day off school on Monday to play with what he calls his cousins. And really with David’s kids living in Manitoba, Kelly and Brynn’s kids were the closest thing he had to cousins near him.

Monday night was a home game. Jon rented a box and invited Kelly and her family to join. The kids had so much fun cheering on the Hawks. After years of going to games they still loved the atmosphere. Tuesday morning came quick. Bekah left a giant list of instructions for Brynn which made her laugh. Jon took Lincoln to school before taking a morning skate. They flew out that afternoon. Jon interlaced his fingers in Bekah’s as the plane took off.

“You look like a first time flyer Beks. What gives?” Jon kisses her ear sweetly.

“Just worried about the kids and Rin and...” Jon’s lips land on hers to stop the rant swirling from her brain to her lips.

“They will be fine. Promise.” Jon pulled his arm around her and she breathed him in. The flight was short and the drive to the hotel was too. “You know you’ve never stayed here but could’ve all those years ago. New Years. Winter Classic.” Jon places her bag on top of his and grabs his wife’s hand.

“Yeah, I didn’t make the wises choices back then.” Bekah whispered.

“You are here aren’t you? We are here... so those choices lead to now.” Jon’s knuckle pressed the button. “And while it took some convincing..”

“Sorry.” Bekah mumbled as she pressed their floor.

“Baby, don’t be.” Jon kisses the top of her head as the door opens and leads them to their room. Opening the door he drops the bags as Bekah closes the door. His body pressing hers agains the door and lips locked together. Pulling at her legs to wrap them around him. They break and Jon’s lips slide down her neck. A moan escapes from her lips.

“Tae.” She tries to continue but Jon’s lips are on hers again. His hands tight around her with the door holder her up. “Tae.” She moans out again. Jon leans back a little to look her in the eyes.

“Ca va, mon amour?” Jon leans back and takes in his wife.

“I’m okay. Extremely turned on but also slightly worried about your teammates hearing us as they check in. Plus, there are things I would like to do to you that I cannot do pinned to this door.” Bekah leans to bite at his lips.

“Well for starters we aren’t on the team floor. I made sure of that. Now, what things are you talking about?” Jon pulls both of their bodies away from the door and carries Bekah towards the bed.

“First, Captain,  I’d like you to rid you of these clothes.”  Bekah wiggles free of Jon’s grip and stands to her feet.  He grunts as she starts to take off his clothes.  Running her fingers over his still well toned abs followed by her tongue until her teeth find his boxers.  She pulls on them with only her mouth and Jon helps with an approving grunt.  “When is the last time we didn’t have rushed sex Tae?”

“Too long Beks.”  Jon barely gets out as his entire body reacts to Bekah’s lips running along the bottom of his shaft.  “C'est cela.”  He moans out as he finds the edge of the bed.  Bekah continues until she wraps her lips around him and he stops her.  “I need you undressed and up here.”  He lifts her up and slides her tunic dress over her body then her leggings.  “Damn sexy Baby.  Damn Sexy.”  He stands to carefully removing her bra then underwear kissing her skin as more is exposed.

“Really?”  Bekah questions placing her hands over her breasts.  “Sorry.  Just feeling not as perky as I once was.”  Bekah doesn’t look up at Jon with her admission.  He pulls her chin up to make her eyes meet his.

“Rebekah, you are more beautiful and sexy than ever.  I’m so fucking lucky you are mine.”  He shifts her to lay her on the bed and hovers over her body.

“I’m lucky too.  I just went from confident at hell to catching a glimpse of my stretch mark in the mirror.”  She ran her hand over the mentioned mark from her last pregnancy.  Jon met her hand with his lips.

“This means you worked hard to bring our sassy daughter into the world.”  Jon moves up to her breasts and sucks one in between his teeth.  “And I’m glad I currently don’t have to share these.”  Bekah’s breath hitches then she laughs as he moves to do the same to the other.  He kisses down her stomach and moves his way between her legs.  Spreading her lips with his fingers he sucks on her clit causing Bekah’s hips to jump off the bed and her hand to land in his hair.  Jon hums in approval.  He moves his fingers to scissor deep inside her.  Bekah went to call out his name and bit her lip.  Jon looked up and kissed her thigh.  “Beks, no one to wake up.  Let me hear you.”  He moved back to circling Bekah’s clit with his tongue as she moaned out.  

“Tae.  Fuck.  Tae.”  Bekah feels her orgasm crashing over her.  Jon doesn’t let up as it washes over her.  Her legs tremble and toes curl up his back.  She loosens her grip and he quickly shifts up her body to press himself fully in her.  Both moaning in the familiarity and need for each other.  Jon presses his lips to hers and stays there.  “Tae, move please.” Bekah tries to press her hips up and Jon smiles.

“I love you Beks.” He simply says as he pulls out slightly and starts a rhythm making both moan and spill out affirmations in the moment.  Jon feels Bekah tighten completely around him and with a few more movements of his hips they both hit their high.  Jon crashing into Bekah’s body, chests heaving from the intensity.  They stay like this for a moment then a beeping sound starts in the direction of the pile of clothes.

“Tae, what is that?”  Bekah questions and Jon laughed.  “What?”

“I set an alarm to make sure we made it to team dinner.”  Jon moves to find his phone.  Turning off the alarm he looks at a notification.  “Oh, dinner on our own.  Fantastic!”  He jumps back in bed and wraps Bekah up.

“Can we still go get dinner?”  Bekah asks.

“Or order in.”  A sly smile crosses Jon’s face and Bekah nods.  “Hey, did you tell Brynn we were trying for a third already?”

“No, why do you ask?”  Bekah looks up at him.

“Well she mentioned the whole naming of kids thing and Seattle plus she suggested this trip...”  Jon trails off.

“Oh, no, but she’s Rin.  I swear she knows things without me telling her.”  Bekah jokes.  “Oh, shit.  What time is it?”  She looks at Jon’s phone.  “Get your shirt on, we need to FaceTime the kids!”  Jon heads to his luggage and quickly pulls out two Hawks shirts.  He starts to FaceTime and Bekah looks at her now sexed looking hair and quickly braids it to the side just in time.

“Hey guys!”  Jon waves at the screen seeing Brynn, Lincoln and Scarlett sitting on the couch.  Bekah notices Brynn’s face with Lincoln asked what they have done since they got there and Jon talked about getting to the hotel and checking in.  The family talked for a little and said their goodbyes.  Jon gets up to head to the shower and looks back.

“J’ai besoin de nous.”  Bekah whispers just looking at the floor.  

“Babe, did you just say I need us?”  Jon comes back over and pulls her up to his chest.

“Yeah.  That’s right, right?”  Bekah bats her eyes.

“It is.  You are picking up more French from my mom’s FaceTime lessons with Lincoln aren’t you?”  Jon kisses her cheek and she feels the heat rushing to them.

“Yeah.  Speaking of, he said, ‘j’ai mon voyage’ and also ‘tabarnak’ the other day.”  Jon starts laughing.  Hard.  “Shit, what did he pick up?”  

“Well, I had enough is basically what j’ai mon voyage means and...as for the other.  I’ll talk to my parents.  I’m sure they didn’t mean to teach him what some deem a cuss word.”  Bekah’s mouth hangs open.  “Babe, I’ll fix it, okay?”  He moves her braid and kisses her again.  “Back to the I need us.  Explain.”

“Just that.  I need us.  I love our family and our life and even this team but at the end of the day it’s me and you.”  She spins her ring around her finger.

“Well, Beks... J’ai besoin de nous too.”  Jon whispers.  “I told you hockey is almost over and then it’s just us being parents and husband and wife.”

“You really think you are done Tae?”  Bekah questions.

“Yeah.  Dach is ready to be captain.  I have four rings.  Kaner and I are talking about going out together.  This team has what it takes to win another one too.  Now, I would love baby number three to experience some of this hockey life.”  Jon rubs Bekah’s lower abdomen.

“Are you asking if you think that got me pregnant?”  Bekah laughs and Jon nods.  “Well, you might have to try harder Mr. Toews.”  She smirks and heads towards the shower.  “And if so... I’m not naming the baby Louis!”  

“Death of me Beks.  You will be the death of me!”  Jon scoops Bekah up and heads towards the shower.  

starlight will be the only light when I can tell my heart to you... PART ONE OF ? future parts: two, three

Ship: Hangman Adam Page x Female OC (Hazel Baker) x Matt Jackson  Summary: Hazel’s engagement ended awhile ago, and she’s finally decided she’s ready to jump headfirst back into the dating game by having a fun, carefree, no-strings-attached night with a handsome cowboy at the local rodeo. Instead, she finds something much, much more complicated and catches herself between two men and a whirlwind of feelings.  Rating: explicit (part one only has a brief, heavy-handed make-out scene but it’s written explicit enough to elicit this rating, and the piece itself will become more explicit in the future) Length: 14,079 words Warnings: alcohol mention, brief descriptive make-out/verging on smut situation

author’s note: wow, this thing turned into a monster I didn’t expect. Initially, I just wanted to have a little fun and write the elite as rodeo cowboys in a rodeo au, but this fic sort of took on a life of it’s own. I will warn that not much happens in this part, despite how long it is. It’s just a bunch of FEELINGS. Look forward to part two, where things get even messier than they are here! And yes, I promise in the next one they’ll actually get together.

“Oh wow, look at that one.”

“Hazel, I told you I wasn’t going to bring you here if you weren’t going to behave yourself.” Her friend, Andrea’s playfully exasperated tone made Hazel grin wide.

“I know, but can you blame me?” She said and nudged Andrea with her elbow, jerking her chin toward the blond-haired cowboy dead ahead. 

He was handsome in a heart-stopping, jaw-dropping kind of way, she thought. The late afternoon sun hit the edges of the blond curls that stuck out of his cowboy hat, making them look as if they glittered. His eyes crinkled at the corners as his cheeks pushed into them, a big smile on his face as he laughed. She could just hear the faint hint of it - that laugh - through the people passing between them and it sounded warm, and rich, and honest. She wanted to hear it closer.

He was wearing a bright pink, long-sleeve button-up with some sort of white pattern she was too far away to figure out. It was fine print, but looked like swirls. Maybe paisleys. The sleeves, upper back and chest supported bold, silver-white thread and patches sewn into it of varying sponsors and brands. Considering the multitude she could count, it was easy to guess he was one of the hot shots on the rodeo circuit. The money went where the winners were, after all. Plus the addition of that big silver, gold-trim belt buckle that was biting gently into the fat of his stomach had likely been won as a prize at another rodeo. It looked pretty fancy, even from this distance.

“Who is that?” She asked, and when Andrea didn’t answer she finally pulled her eyes off him and looked at her friend. 

Andrea blushed and shook her head. “You don’t need to go near those guys.”

“What?!” Hazel exclaimed, frowning at Andrea and looking back at that beautiful pink-shirt wearing blond-haired cowboy. He was talking with two other cowboys, both with long, dark-brown hair. She looked from them, back to her friend and found Andrea frowning at her. Hazel rolled her eyes. “Oh come on! You know how long it’s been since Ethan and I called off the engagement and ended things. I’m finally feeling like me again, like I’m getting over that heartache. I could use some fun! The best way to get over someone is to get under someone, right?” She wiggled her brows and grinned playfully. “So, spill it, who is he? What’s his deal?”

Andrea worked the grounds when the rodeo pulled into town and had been doing it enough years that she was known and knew the folk who came to compete. It was a side-gig she had on top of working the cafe at the stockyards. This meant she often knew the rodeo competitors and other cowfolk who found themselves in Brimwood Creek. Therefore, she knew exactly who Mr. Blond Haired Angel Cowboy was and for some reason she was withholding that information. Andrea knew Hazel had a penchant for falling for those handsome cowboys and was enough of a confident little flirt to strike up some fun with one, but she’d never minded before. A thought occurred to Hazel as she remembered her friend blushing, and she looked both surprised at the realization and apologetic.

“Oh! Are you two a thing?” Understandably Andrea wouldn’t want Hazel making eyes at him if she was after him.

“What?” Andrea laughed and shook her head. “No.”

“Okay, so what’s wrong with him then?” She was getting suspicious. She narrowed her eyes on him, trying to find the flaw, but just found herself more distracted by how handsome he was. She glanced at his hand, or tried to, but couldn’t see his ring finger from where they were standing. “Is he married?”

“No! Hazel, look. He’s not the kind of guy you’re after. He’s sort of a recluse. He comes out to compete and then disappears after hours instead of spending time hanging out with everyone. I’ve never once seen him with a girl. He’s not like the rest of them, at least from what I’ve seen.”

Now that was surprising. A lot of these cowboys were known to be roaming heart-breakers with a little lady in every town the rodeo made a stop in. That’s what Hazel had been thinking when she’d gotten Andrea to agree to not only bring her to the rodeo, but get her a little bright green paper wristband that’d let her stay once the rodeo wrapped up for the night and the citizens took off, happy and entertained. After her serious, four-year long relationship had ended over half a year ago she was finally ready to get out, but she’d only meant to find herself a good one-night stand. Her heart wasn’t ready to open up to anything more than that.

“What a shame,” she murmured, eyes still on him, “cause he is quite the looker.”

“Adam! Harper’s out, you’re takin’ his spot!” A sudden barking shout from an older, bow-legged cowboy to her right drew his eyes, and when he nodded and lifted a hand to signal he heard and understood, he caught her watching him. His gaze moved from the cowboy to her, lingering a little, and she wished she could tell what he was thinking. Probably: Why the hell is this woman gawking at me?

His frown deepened and then he looked away as one of his friends - a handsome man with a dark beard and his long, equally dark brown hair secured in a ponytail, tucked beneath a black wide-brim cowboy hat - asked him a question. Hazel’s eyes jumped between them for a moment, admiring the view, before Andrea tugged her sleeve.

“Come on, quick gawking. You promised you’d help me work and not spend the entire day ogling cowboys, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Hazel said, dramatically overacting with a heavy sigh, “I did say that. What a bummer.”

“Shut up,” Andrea laughed and pushed Hazel’s arm playfully, to which Hazel gasped in mock offense, which quickly spilled into laughter before she pushed her back, the two turning to walk toward the chutes and figure out where they’d be best helpful. Neither girl saw the blond-haired cowboy, Adam, turn and watch them retreat with a curious, lingering, thoughtful frown across his naturally down-turned brows.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went by rather quickly. In between lending a hand wherever Andrea needed her, the girls propped themselves up on the metal fences and watched the rodeo events take place. It’d been a couple years since Hazel had gone to a proper rodeo, and her heart felt full to experience it all again. Even the way the crowd hollered encouragement for a particularly good ride, or how everyone lingered in groups and their familiar conversations drifted by her ears as she walked past them brought her back home. She’d missed it, every sense of it, and for a good moment during one of the last rides she let herself close her eyes and soak everything in as deep into her skin as she could get. For the most part she’d wanted to find some cute cowboy to hook up with after the show, but in reality she’d needed the entire day spent here more than she realized she would. She’d been away from this world for too long.

Eventually the citizens were gone, the gates were closed and security made their rounds past little encampments where friends had gathered around portable barbecues and bonfires to check and make sure everyone had the wristband saying they could stay. Hazel and Andrea were hanging out with a small group of workers like Andrea who saw to the set-up and tear-down of the chutes and paddocks, the feeding of the animals and the cleaning of their pens, the organizations of the rides and kept the level ground of the arena smooth for each competitor. One of the older men, a veteran of the rodeo, was telling a hilarious story about a mishap with an angry bull when Andrea gently nudged her elbow in Hazel’s side.

“I heard there’s a cowboy who was asking about you,” she whispered suggestively with a little wiggle of her dark, bold brows.

Immediately Hazel thought of him - blond curls, pretty eyes - and her heartbeat increased. She looked hopeful at Andrea. “Was there?”

“Mhm,” she nodded and tipped her beer bottle back, taking a slug and drawing out the anticipation. “One of the Jackson brothers. Matt.”

“Oh,” Hazel’s shoulders dropped as she felt a stab of disappointment that it wasn’t Adam. But then again, what had she been expecting? She’d only ogled him like a weird-o, then made sure to watch his ride and holler for him until she couldn’t breathe, wrapped up in watching him sit through each buck, knees bending in perfect rhythm with every jolting land and upward hop and twist the bronco put him through. He hadn’t even looked twice at her, but she’d hoped…

“Oh?” Andrea blew a breath from her lips and shook her head. “I thought you’d be all over that. He’s exactly your type and,” she tipped her beer bottle with her brows raised, “exactly what you’ve been looking for.”

No strings attached. Just adult fun with no expectations.

“Yeah, no, I am, believe me.” That was the dark-haired bearded cowboy Adam had been talking to. Hazel remembered thinking he was handsome, but she was so distracted by Adam that even in her mind she could barely remember him. “He’s hot. I was just… you know… hoping maybe Adam had said something?” She felt like she sounded pathetic, fishing desperately for some sign he’d thought something of her too.

“Adam? Adam who?” Andrea asked, perplexed.

“The blond haired cowboy we saw first thing today!”

A few curious eyes pulled their way as Hazel talked louder than a whisper, interrupting the old cowboy’s story. He set her with a heavy glare and she sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

“Sorry!”

“Adam Page?” Andrea asked with a whisper once everyone had gone back to talking, then shook her head. “Honey, no. I told you, he’s not like the other guys around here. You could prowl the entire rodeo grounds tonight and you wouldn’t find him. He never sticks around here. Goes right back to his trailer, keeps his nose clean of trouble.”

“I wouldn’t be trouble,” Hazel retorted with a pout.

“Oh yeah, right.” Andrea snorted and slugged another swallow of beer. “Speaking as a friend that knows you, I’d say go find Matt. He and his brother have a little bonfire on the other side of the grounds, past the corrals. A few of their friends will be there too, so it won’t be too weird for you to drop by.”

“Won’t you come with me?” Hazel asked, frowning.

“Oh, no,” Andrea shook her head quickly, but even by firelight Hazel could swear she saw a little bit of color in her cheeks again.

Andrea was always so busy with work and her four younger siblings that she never found time to date, and normally because she didn’t have the time, she didn’t get boy-crazy the way Hazel always had. It was… interesting to see Andrea a little flustered.

“Alright, spill the beans. Why won’t you come with me to the Jackson brother’s little fire pit?”

Andrea glanced at the people they were sitting with, who were still engrossed in their own stories, and then back at Hazel.

“Hazel, it’s nothing.”

“Unless you tell me the exact reason I’m going to grab you by your wrist and drag you over there with me.”

“Hazel!”

“Don’t test me.”

Andrea groaned and set her beer bottle in the cup-holder of the camping chair so she could bury her face in her hands. “I kind of sort of have a crush on Nick Jackson.”

Nick Jackson, obviously the other half of the Jackson brothers. 

“Really?!” Hazel was so enthralled by the idea of Andrea having a thing for one of the cowboys she immediately wanted to hook them up. “Well, come on! Come with me, come talk to Nick!”

“Hazel, no. I can’t. You know I can’t. I don’t want to do the whole one-night-stand thing with a rodeo cowboy I’ll have to see next time they come into town, and I have too much going on to add an attempt at a long-distance relationship to everything. He’s cute and he makes me feel tongue-tied and stupid when he smiles at me, but that’s just all it’s going to be. You, on the other hand,” she fixed her with a pointed stare, “should go get what you came here for before it’s too late.”

Hazel wanted to drag Andrea with her anyways, just to shove her in front of Nick and let the sparks fly, but she knew her friend and she knew what she said was right. Andrea’s life was already packed and bursting at the seams, the last thing she needed was a romance with one of these rodeo cowboys.

“Okay, I’ll go talk with Matt.” She said as she popped up, “and I’ll make sure to tell Nick you said hi.”

“Hazel!”

She smiled at Andrea’s frustrated, warning tone and gave her a wink before turning and heading off to make the walk across the grounds, past the corrals just outside the touch of the bright stadium lighting. Hazel was used to those kinds of slide-in conversations at these after-hours events. Everyone was everyone’s friend, and if a cowboy had been asking after you, all his attention would be yours the minute you were in that firelight. Honestly, was she really the kind of girl who was going to pine after some guy who wouldn’t give her the time of day or was she going to let loose, be free and have a little bit of fun with a totally handsome, dark-eyed cowboy who definitely wanted her? The decision was too easy to make.

She started to walk across the grounds and could just make out the horses in the pop-up pipe-fence pens, lined in a halo of white from the distant stadium lights. She could hear their soft breathing as she drew closer and the gentle swish of their tails as they flicked away late summer night flies. Her pace decreased until she stopped, turning toward the corral and watching the shape of a large golden palomino mare who dozed on the other side of the little one-horse pen. Noticing eyes on her, the mare's ear twitched and she shifted her weight, opening her dark eyes on Hazel. Her pale lashes looked gilded as they caught the light.

“Hey girl,” Hazel beckoned with a soft clicking under of her tongue, slipping her hand into the pen and holding the back of it out as a greeting. “Aren’t you a pretty thing,” she talked gently, her voice just above a whisper. All the people were far from the pens, set up in little circles around their parked trailers, and their laughter and conversation was a happy, distant noise. It left Hazel feeling as though she were in some hushed, isolated place, somewhere special.

She’d always lived for these moments as a kid, these points in time where it was just her and a horse, and she could talk about everything. The things that she was going through, the dreams she had, or even all the places she’d love to go riding if she ever could.

The mare drew close at the sight of Hazel’s hand and brushed her velvet, whiskered lips over the back of it, huffing a warm breath gently that smelled like sweet hay. Hazel smiled. “Hello, beautiful,” she said, gently turning her hand and letting the mare sniff and lip curiously at it, testing her smell. 

“You have a little snip on your nose!” she exclaimed softly with delight, seeing the oddly shaped little white mark between the mare’s nostrils. 

“When I was a little girl I had an imaginary horse I used to pretend was with me when I ran around, and I always imagined she was a pretty golden palomino with a little white snip on her nose just like you, and one, two,” Hazel scratched beneath the mares chin and leaned to try and count the markings on her legs, “Oh, darn. Almost.” She looked back at the mare’s face and smiled. “My imaginary mare had three socks, but you’ve only got two. Well, you’re still beautiful anyways. Dreams can’t always come true, hm?”

She laughed gently under her breath as the mare stepped closer to the fence, stretching out her neck and as if to offer more areas to scratch. 

“Her name is Dolly.” A warm, low, soft voice nearly startled her, but she kept herself calm so as not to spook the mare. The mare clearly knew this intruder, though, as she swung her head forward and pointed her ears, letting out a loud rumbling whicker in immediate greeting. She forgot all about Hazel’s scratches, clearly too happy to see whoever had joined them. Hazel glanced over her shoulder and saw him - Adam - with his blond curls tucked neatly beneath his wide-brim cowboy hat and a sheepish expression across his face. He almost looked embarrassed to have interjected. “Well, it’s Lil Dun Dolly, officially. But I just call her Dolly.”

“Oh! This is your mare?” She felt her face go hot. He was going to think she’d stopped here on purpose. Probably saw her lingering outside his mare’s pen and wanted to know why the weird-o who’d been staring at him earlier was now bothering his horse. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to disturb her.”

“Ah, no, ma’am. It’s no trouble,” he laughed a little weakly and cleared his throat, waving his hand between them, “Dolly doesn’t mind the company.” He glanced at her and almost looked like he wanted to say something else, but lost the courage.

“So uh, how much of our conversation did you hear?” She asked, already cringing a little inside, but when she braved a peek at him, saw he was smiling a sort of lop-sided smile.

“Are you going to be mad at me if I say all of it?” That smile of his seemed to want to stretch a little wider.

“No,” she said, laughing, “but I am going to be embarrassed you heard me telling your horse about the fact that I had an imaginary horse when I was little.”

Adam had walked up to the fence and leaned on it while they talked, cheating his body toward her and glancing down beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. She could just barely make out the sinful blue-green of his eyes with the way the shadows and light played on either side of his bearded face. Dolly abandoned her interest in Hazel and was now affectionately lipping at the folds in his shirt with the arm he had leaning on the fence, clearly happy to have him in reach. He reached over and affectionately rubbed his palm over the bridge of her nose and up her forehead before he started talking again.

“Mine was a little bay paint.” He said, and she frowned at him, confused by what he meant. “My imaginary horse I had when I was little? It was a bay paint with a big white spot across it’s chest and one over its haunches. I called him Bandit. What’d you name yours?”

She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, pushing high into her round cheeks. She wanted to worry over the way her heart started beating a little faster, but she couldn’t be bothered, trapped in those pretty, bright eyes of his. “Her name was Honey.”

“Honey, that’s a good name for an imaginary horse.”

“So is Bandit.”

They smiled at each other for a minute too long before they seemed to realize it, both clearing their throats and trying to jump into a different conversation, cheeks hot. They laughed awkwardly and Hazel shook her head. A change of conversation was probably for the best, so she grabbed at the first topic she could think of.

“I saw your run earlier, by the way. You were impressive! The way you sat that bronc despite his best effort to throw you was honestly amazing.”

He looked flattered and it endeared her how humble he was. Most cowboys at his level soaked in whatever adoration they could get. Damnit! Couldn’t he do something to make her not like him? This was becoming unfair. 

“Ah, I owe most of it to that little firecracker I was riding,” he said, patting his hand against his mare’s muscled neck and gently ruffling her cream-white mane. “I’ve ridden him a couple times at past rodeos, but he was on something else tonight. He helped me get that good score.” 

“Oh stop being so humble,” she laughed and rolled her eyes, “any cowboy or cowgirl who competes in the rodeo knows it’s the animal, the rider, and the rider’s understanding of that animal and their communication that makes the ride. No matter which sport it is. It’s about how you work as a team, you know?”

He was looking at her with an expression she’d describe as surprised understanding, like she’d just said something he thought of as important, too. Like they shared the same understanding of something a lot of people took at face value. 

“Yeah… it’s... exactly that,” he stumbled over. “I haven’t seen you around before, how do you know so much about the rodeo?”

She felt her cheeks get hot and shrugged, choosing to look at Dolly just as an excuse to not see him looking at her like that. “I did some barrel racing a few times in my late teens and very early twenties.”

“You did?” He said with delighted surprise.

“Yeah! It wasn’t anything huge, just locals, qualifiers, and a few state shows. But I always enjoyed it.”

“Why’d you stop?”

She hesitated. “It’s… complicated.” Her eyes lifted slowly and apologetic to his. “Sorry,” she started, trying to explain it wasn’t something she talked about with practical strangers, but he held out a hand as if to stop her and gave his head a little shake.

“You don’t have to say any more.” He assured her, “I’m sorry if I touched a sore spot.”

“It’s okay,” she noticed the way his brows tilted downward a little harder than they were naturally set and it tugged at her heartstrings in a way she wasn’t ready for. “I don’t tell many people about that, actually. Although it figures that my rodeo past would come up at a rodeo though, so that’s kind of on me.” She laughed, and he grinned a little deeper.

“Man,” he said and sucked air through his teeth. When she looked at him he shook his head in disappointment. “I can’t believe you missed the opportunity to tell me this ain’t your first rodeo.”

For a drawn out second she just stared at him - the way a half-smile hung on his lips, just showing those slightly imperfect teeth; the way his eyes hung on her face, hoping she thought the silly joke was as funny as he did; the way one blond brow quirked higher than the other; the way that smile inevitably deepened as a couple more seconds crawled past. 

And then, she laughed and shook her head. “I can’t believe you just made that silly of a joke.”

“Believe it,” he laughed and shrugged, warm southern accent merrily heavy as he talked. “I didn’t become a rodeo competitor to shy away from making rodeo-specific jokes whenever and wherever I can.”

“So that’s why you decided to compete in rodeos for a living, huh? Not the thrill of the sport, not because you’re good at it, not for the money…”

“Nope! Just the jokes.”

They laughed together in gentle breaths, their smiles still on their mouths by the time it stopped. She knew then exactly how dangerous this was for her. She needed to excuse herself and step away, because there was something between them that made her nervous and excited and painfully hopeful. Hopeless, more like. Everyone knew rodeo cowboys didn’t settle down; they traveled the road over half the year during the season and went from town to town, never too far from a pretty doe-eyed cowgirl in denim she’d cut into too-short Daisy Duke’s. After what Hazel had just gone through, the last thing she could afford was catching feelings for a rodeo cowboy.

“I should probably um-”

“Hey, would you like to-” 

They had started talking at the same time and talked over each other, sharing an awkward laugh before he cleared his throat and tipped his head toward her with a smile. “Please, ladies first.”

“No.” She said it a little too breathlessly and cleared her throat when he looked at her with a curious expression. “Please, I want to hear what you were going to say.” 

Carelessly, she mentally shut off the alarm bells blaring in her head and refocused on him. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted to walk with me? I kinda like walking the corrals away from everyone at night. I normally do it alone but, if,” he glanced at her as if asking permission even as the next words tumbled out of his mouth, “if you wanted to, I’d like your company.”

“Yes!” She said, almost too quick, and then blushed and shook her head, heating up clear to her crown with embarrassment for how eager she’d just obviously been. “Sorry - erm - I mean yeah. That’d be cool, I guess.” 

When her eyes darted to him, she saw he was fighting a grin. He jerked his head to the side and turned, starting to walk down the fence line. She fell in step beside him and for a moment they shared the quiet together. The crickets chirped in the tall grass outside the dirt grounds; the horses snorted and swished their tails, some of them lifting their heads and watching them curiously; the cattle flicked their ears and huddled close together, moving as a group wherever they went.

“What was your run when you were competing in barrels?”

Of course he’d ask a rodeo related question to break the ice and figure out what they should talk about. Typical cowboy.

“My mare ran between 18.3 and 19 seconds. My gelding was a little slower, he normally clocked solid 20.”

Adam sucked in a breath and released it slow, brows raised, he tilted his head toward her and appeared impressed. “Those are some good times.”

“Not World Championship times, a few seconds off, but yeah, I did pretty good in my local and state classes.” Wanting to shift the attention off herself and back onto him before he asked a question she wasn’t comfortable answering, she decided she’d throw a rodeo question his way. “So why bronc riding?”

He glanced at her a little sheepishly.

“Come on! Why bronc riding?”

“It’s just you have to really know a horse well when you’re riding them as they buck. It becomes a kind of dance; you need to anticipate every move, where that horse is going to shift its weight, making sure you’re as fluid with it as you can be so you don’t get dislodged. It’s about precision and timing, nothing can be off. It’s a constant attempt to achieve perfection in a narrow time window and it’s just you and that horse. You have to trust yourself to understand those animals so you can do it exactly right and not get yourself hurt, either.”

“Wow.” She was stunned, genuinely, and she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t unheard of for a cowboy to talk so highly and credit the animals he competed with, but there was something about the way passion bled into Adam’s voice the more he tried to break it down that really got her. “You really love doing this, don’t you?”

“Is it that obvious?” He laughed, and she decided she definitely liked the way a smile looked on his face. 

“I love it,” she said, and tried not to pay attention to the way that made him grin a little more, scuffing the toe of his boot against the hard packed dirt ground they walked. “So why trailer in Dolly if you don’t compete in a sport you need your horse at?”

“Sometimes I help pick up, if something happens and they need someone to step in and help. Dolly’s been doing it for years and she’s a great little pick up mare, never lets the excitement from the broncs or the bulls rile her up.”

The cowboys who did picking up were the ones who rode in at the end of the eight second ride to offer a horse for the cowboy to safely jump off and onto. They’d take the rider away from the bucking roughstock and somewhere they could safely dismount and await their score. That required a sound horse who’d listen to its rider and not get carried away with the spirit and herd mentality of another horse kicking its heels up or a bull twisting and threatening to charge with angry snorts. Telling a horse to run toward another horse that was bucking like that was a whole other ordeal. Those cowboys needed people they could trust, and it said a lot that Adam paid the extra gas to haul a trailer and dealt with loading and unloading his mare here just in case he was needed.

“Plus,” he concluded, and looked almost a little sheepish, “I like having her company.”

“You really have to stop being so cute.” The words were out of her mouth before she could think about the consequences, and he laughed. If not for the shadow beneath his wide-brim hat and the gentle haze of darkness they walked through, she thought she might have seen him blushing.

“Ah,” he rubbed at the back of his neck and stopped in his tracks, making her stop a second later and turn to face him, her head tilting curiously as she looked up at him. He knocked the brim of his hat back so it sat more slanted on his curls and let her see that handsome, blond bearded face more clearly, lit in gentle white-blue from the distant haze of the stadium lights. It caught one side of his face more than the other, and his eyes were such a dark, pretty grey-green that she bet they’d have her heart doing somersaults over how pretty they were in the daylight. 

“Look, I don’t normally do this, but,” he started, pausing a little between his words, struggling to get out what he wanted to say. Her heart increased its beat, racing with anticipation, her full lips fell apart in a gentle break to let her suck in a sharp breath of air. His eyes fell dark down to them and he trailed off, looking intently. She was dizzy. Was he going to kiss her? Oh God, he was going to kiss her. 

Please, she thought, kiss me. 

No, she groaned inwardly, don’t kiss me! 

If he kissed her, she wasn’t sure she could keep fighting off the chemistry that was obviously between them, and something was telling her it would hurt a little bit to see this one leave her bed in the morning and never call again.

He started to lean in. She caught her breath.

“Hey, Page! Finally coming to hang out with us or what?”

They both jumped apart and looked with wild eyes on the cowboy standing a few paces behind Adam, who must’ve just walked up from the glowing orange fire pit set up near the trailer at his back. She didn’t recognize him immediately, but Adam clearly did. 

“Hey Nick, actually, I-” Adam had turned his body a little to answer Nick, and when he did it revealed her standing near him.

“Oh jeez,” said Nick, blinking, the wide happy smile he’d been wearing slipping away almost immediately, “I hope I didn’t just interrupt something.”

“No!”

“Nope!”

They were both too quick and too eager to jump in and defend themselves, as if they hadn’t just been seconds away from giving in to temptation.

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” she said, rushed, and tried to ignore the way Adam’s eyes shot back over her, and how he took a small step away, as if her words had repelled him back. She wished she could explain it, that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to kiss him, but that she knew better than to. That she was guarded against any kind of hurt right now, even something as little as regretting the cold space that’d be on his side of the bed by the time she woke up the next morning.

“Right,” something in his tone told her Nick wasn’t buying it from either of them, and when she pulled her eyes away from Adam and looked at him, noticed he seemed to be struggling to keep from grinning again. Her cheeks felt hot. 

“Well, things have wound down a little bit, but Kenny’s still hanging out and we’ve got food and drinks leftover if you guys want. Well,” he shrugged and held up his palms, stepping back as if to physically excuse himself from their space, “I mean, you guys probably want to get back to whatever you were doing out here all alone, so…” Did she sense a sort of mischievousness in his tone? Was he teasing them? Maybe she should have brought Andrea and sent her ahead to keep him occupied so he wouldn’t have interrupted them.

“No,” Adam was the one who spoke up this time, but he wasn’t looking at her. “I’d love to come hang out.”

“Really?” Nick said, “huh. That’ll be a first.”

He was definitely poking fun at Adam in the same way you’d tease a good friend. It occurred to her that if Andrea, someone who worked the rodeo grounds when they came into town, knew that Adam was the type to be a loner, the friends he had would know it even more. What had Nick thought when he’d seen that Adam was with her? Was he surprised? Glad that Adam wasn’t alone for once? Did he even care?

Adam shot him a glare she just caught as they started towards him, to which Nick bit into his wide grin and turned away, leading them both back toward the nearby fire with camping chairs strewn in a haphazard half-circle around it. She bit into the inside of her lip to keep from smiling, not wanting to give away that she’d seen the interaction between them and fought the urge to playfully bump her hip into Adam’s. The warm glow of the crackling fire and the light laughs and conversation grew louder as they came close.

“Found a couple wanderers near the corrals,” Nick announced as he made his way back to an empty chair, flopping unceremoniously down into it and grabbing a can of diet coke from a nearby ice chest. It made a soft pop as he cracked it, and Adam and Hazel were left staring at the little group.

“Adam!” Said a man with surprised delight. He was sitting in the chair beside the one Nick had sat down in, and made it look tiny by his mass alone. Even beneath his purple checkered pearl snap, she could see how big his arms and chest were. He wasn’t wearing a hat, though he must’ve been all day, as his tight wound dirty-blond curls had a slight crimp from where the band had sat. He had eyes a more vivid, concise blue than Adam’s could be. They were so blue that she could tell even in the orange glow of the fire. “Who’s your friend?” He asked, turning a politely curious eye and friendly smile on her.

“Oh,” Adam started and glanced at her, slight smile on the edge of his mouth before he looked back, “this is-”

“There you are Hazel. I was beginning to worry you weren’t going to come after all.” Matt Jackson had walked from around the trailer, chewing gum, returning and eyes all hers, not having noticed he interrupted Adam talking. His attention absorbed Hazel, like a dog trained on a scent, he wasn’t going to give up until his paws were on her. She’d seen that look before on a man, and normally it excited her, especially a man as handsome as Matt was. Alright, maybe it still excited her a little (she was only human), but Adam shifted ever so slightly beside her and she felt the change in the air around them and watched as Matt’s eyes jerked from her to him, and he looked genuinely shocked.

“Page?! Finally decided to be social, huh?” His smile showed teeth. “That’s great! Sit down and hang with us.” He waved toward an empty chair near Kenny, who was watching the three of them with a curious eye.

Matt’s attention was hers again, those brown eyes dark as sin, smile just the right level of smug that made her palm itch to slap it and grab desperate around his shoulders to pull him down into a passionate, heated, dizzying kiss. To spell it out in one word, Matt Jackson was one-hundred percent certifiable, damningly handsome trouble. It was the kind she’d been initially looking for, the perfect distraction from her broken heart… So why was her smile a little pained? Why did she want to turn toward Adam and ask where he was planning to sit so she could sit with him, put her hand on his arm, do something to let him know the only place she wanted to be was back to where they were? Why the fuck did it matter? He was just a guy; a guy who was trouble in a different way. That kind of trouble that meant broken hearts and burning aches in your chest for days; that kind of trouble was exactly what she was running away from.

Matt had moved closer to her while she was thinking, and she snapped out of it when his hand waved in front of her. He laughed softly, as though finding her momentary lapse in concentration adorable. Assuming she was so taken away with seeing him again and knowing he’d wanted her, she’d had her feet knocked right out from under her.

“Earth to Hazel!” He said, smiling. “Come on,” his head jerked toward a pair of chairs on the opposite side of the fire. Still a part of the group, but paired off a little separately. “I saved you the best seat in the house, right next to me.” He said, a grin growing before he winked.

Pretentious, egotistical prick. She nearly snorted. Fuck, he’s hot. 

But she managed to pull her eyes away, intending to make eye contact with Adam and get help on what she was supposed to say here. Only… she didn’t meet Adam’s eyes. He had turned away from her and was already edging around the fireside to join Kenny and Nick opposite of where Matt was. He’d walked off without even waiting for her, or waiting to see what she’d say to Matt. 

Hazel sucked back a sharp stab of disappointment and mentally chided herself immediately thereafter. What a fool. Just because he was cute and she was sure they’d been about to kiss didn’t mean anything. A momentary lapse in judgement where he’d been about to kiss her didn’t mean anything if there wasn’t going to be any follow-up. If he was willing to fold at the first sign of another man’s interest, it wasn’t worth her getting hung up on either.

But maybe she was being a little childish and spiteful when she turned a charming smile back toward Matt and made sure to speak loud enough that Adam would hear her, saying, “I’d be happy to sit with you!” She put a bright smile on her face she didn’t necessarily feel, and looked up beneath her mascara-curled lashes as she bit into the corner of her grin to match his smirk.

They sat in the two camping chairs, pointed inward toward one another, though hers damnably kept Adam in her sights too, just beyond Matt. She could avoid looking his way, she thought, focusing on Matt’s smile and his appreciative dark eyes, wondering what the hell was wrong with her that she’d waste her chance for some fun with a guy this handsome over one she barely knew.

“You seem to know your way around a rodeo, huh?” Matt asked her, chewing thoughtfully on his gum after pushing his hat back on his head so the firelight would catch his face and reflect the warmth and hunger that was in his eyes. His long dark hair was tied back, a few wispy strands caught the soft night breeze and stirred. She wondered what it looked like down, around his shoulders, curtaining his face.

“Do I?” She asked him, and remembered how she’d told Adam about her former barrel racing days. She didn’t volunteer that information here.

“You do,” he said, and reached lazily between them to tap a long finger playfully on her knee. An excuse to touch her. “You don’t seem that green to me, little filly.”

Alright, maybe she swooned a little bit at that, and maybe the smile on her mouth was a little more honest than before, and maybe her focus sharpened on Matt and Adam became a soft, firelit blur of pinks and blues and golden blond in the background. She laughed and didn’t notice the way Adam stiffened at the sound, and how his eyes shot fast over to see her grinning at Matt, and Matt’s finger on her knee. She didn’t see Nick frown and glance between herself, his brother, and Adam. She didn’t notice any of it but Matt. There was something… commanding about his charm.

“Well, you haven’t even tried to ride yet, cowboy. You don’t know how hard I can buck.”

The smile he wore stretched wide enough it showed his teeth. Endearingly she noticed his bottom teeth were crooked; it softened her to see something human peek through what had so far only been arrogance wrapped in a damningly handsome package. A little imperfection. Cute. He laughed loud at that, too, and his brows shot up with surprise.

“Alright!” He laughed again and his hand smoothed over her knee. It’s weight was heavy with intent, and warm.

Adam came a little more into focus past him. She could see how he tilted his head toward them. Was he listening?

“Do you have any experience riding a wild filly? Can you manage to stay on?” She barely managed to get the words out, and she wished she was looking into those soft grey-green-blue eyes, and that she’d get to see the wrinkles push up his hat when his eyebrows shot up after she got the words out. She wondered what sweet-seeming Adam was like when faced with bold, flirtatious advantages. Instead, she refocused on Matt, and she saw the self-assured expression cross his face at her tease. He slid his fingers off her knee and leaned back in the chair, gesturing down at himself.

“You’re talking to the top number one PRCA Team Roping Header champion, sweetheart.” He scoffed playfully, jokingly offended she’d question his skills. She wished she didn’t feel the need to press her thighs together and adjust her seat, or the way she wanted to take in a sudden, sharp breath when his eyes pinned hers. What was it about a cocky man that made something inside her come alive? That’s why he was fun to play with, but she’d never make the mistake of dating someone like him. That ego was fun in small bursts, but too much was liable to get you burned.

Somehow she managed to cover the jolt of attraction with a soft laugh and a jerk upward of one of her brows. She knew she was smiling too much into her words and couldn’t stop herself. “A roper? That doesn’t tell me you can ride a bucking horse, cowboy. Maybe I should go find myself a champion bronc rider, then I’ll be sure he’ll stick the ride.” 

And she hoped Adam was eavesdropping and heard her say it, but she couldn’t look away from Matt to check.

Something in that dangerous look that flashed dark in his eyes told her he caught on to exactly what she was trying to do and say. It was a challenge, and she was quickly learning Matt was the type of man to grab on to a challenge with everything he had. He had a boldness that matched hers, and it invited her to play along. They continued to flirt and talk, weaving around and through topics, using little chances here and there to lay a hand on an arm, or a knee. She danced a dance she knew well, avoiding giving pieces of herself away she assumed a man like him wouldn’t actually care about. He was just trying to get into her pants, not her heart. 

That was a good thing, she reminded herself, once again trying to resist the urge to let her eyes find Adam. They’d made eye contact by accident a few times that night as she talked with Matt, both catching the other trying to sneak a glance and looking away just as quickly. Matt had noticed a time or two as well, but he never made a comment or said a thing. Instead, they kept talking, kept flirting, and eventually got on the topic of his recent, most impressive roping championship run.

“That’s where I won this buckle,” he said, tapping the shiny, gold-filigree decorated silver buckle with it’s bold writing proclaiming him as champion of that specific rodeo.

“Is there a replay of the run?” Hazel asked curiously, wanting to see the way he and his brother worked in-tandem to rope a calf in less than six seconds.

“Yeah,” he said, and pulled his phone from his pocket. He tapped away, and she used the chance to look at Adam. He wasn’t paying attention to her this time, but was nodding and talking to Nick, moving his hands. Expressive. Nick had his hat in his lap and was stretched out, boots propped on the ice chest the sodas had been. He was nodding in agreement. She blinked, watching Adam’s hands… and then Matt leaned over to show her the clip and drew her sharply back to him. Suddenly, with his free hand he reached up, fingers skimming her cheek as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“Sorry,” he’d breathed softly near her when her eyes darted to him and she noticed how close they were. She’d barely have to move to put her lips on his darkly bearded cheek.

“No you’re not,” she said.

“No, I’m not.” He agreed, and she noticed his eyes had fallen to her lips, which ached and wanted all at once after having been denied earlier.

“Alright, I’m going to call it quits.” It was Kenny speaking up and moving out of the chair that made her jump and glance toward the rest of the group. He somehow came across as even larger when he got out of it, and she briefly wondered what the hell his workout routine was like. It was then she noticed the light had died down, the fire was burned to coals glowing a soft orange-red among the black. It’d be safe to put out, clean up, and leave. Nick had popped up as Kenny edged around the fire, and was starting to grab up empty soda cans and whatever other trash they had to throw out. They made quick work of taking care of things before she could even offer.

“I’m heading out too,” Adam volunteered quickly and without a glance in her direction. “Night guys, see y’all in the morning.” He didn’t linger, lifting his hand in a slight, dismissive wave before he took off and didn’t let his eyes touch her again. He was avoiding acknowledging her existence entirely. Where did that nice, genuine sweetheart go that he’d been earlier? The one that’d made her heart skip in a way it never had, not even with her recent ex. 

The way Adam was treating her stung, and she was, yet again, angry that it did. He’d chickened out of making the move on her and let Matt step in. That was on him. It wasn’t her fault and she didn’t deserve to be treated like shit for getting attention from someone who wanted her and was willing to do something about it. She didn’t deserve to feel guilty for flirting with Matt.

That’s what she told herself as she watched Adam disappear into the night.

“I’m going to get a ride back with Kenny,” Nick said as she and Matt stood up from their chairs and started folding them, helping each other shove them into the canvas bags and handing them toward Kenny’s outstretched hand.

“Alright,” Matt nodded, “see you guys in the morning.” 

Today had been the qualifying runs, tomorrow they’d have to compete with the best in their sport to try and win both the purse and the added points to keep them at the top of the yearly rankings.

“Nice meeting you, Hazel.” Nick smiled kindly, and Kenny bobbed his head of curls in her direction with a smaller, shyer smile before slinging three of the canvas bags with camping chairs on his back and grabbing up the ice chest in the other. Nick grabbed the other ice chest and the remaining two chairs, leaving nothing for her and Matt to take back but themselves.

“You too!” She said politely in return, and then they left and it was just she and Matt, completely alone.

“You want to come back to my hotel room?” The blatant invitation was asked without hesitation, wasting little time, and the look on Matt’s face was unmistakable. He’d reached out between them and grabbed one of her hands to pull her body in a little closer to his, and she realized the calloused pad of his thumb was gently skimming her skin and making goosebumps rise up along her arm. Her heart even started beating a little faster in her chest, making her pulse jump.

So why wasn’t the obvious answer so… obvious? Why did she look in the face of that handsome man she’d been flirting and talking to for hours and not find the word yes leaping off her tongue? 

“I-” she struggled with the hesitation, and a slight frown disrupted the predatory expression he wore. She saw confusion, and knew he had every right to be. Up until this point she’d been giving him every sign that he would have her in his hotel bed with her feet pointed up to heaven by the end of the night. “I want to say yes…”

“But…?” he volunteered softly, watching her. There was something suddenly gentle there in those brown eyes and across his face. It made something stir in her. Something she’d been reminding herself all day and all night to be wary of.

“I’m in a weird place right now,” she felt guilty, like she’d led him on, and hated that she did, immediately jumping to explain herself in a rush. “I was in a relationship for a long time and our break-up has me kind of messed up, I thought it’d been enough time and I could just have some fun but, I’m just… struggling. I’m so sorry Matt.” 

“You don’t have to apologize to me.” He sounded even more confused that she had, and chuckled softly just once before giving her hand a little comforting squeeze. “I’m not pissed at you just because you don’t want to fuck me.” He laughed a little dryly and shook his head. “Come on, let me walk you to your car sweetheart.”

He still hadn’t let go of her hand.

“Okay,” she said, and tried to shrug away the anxiety that told her somewhere, deep down, he probably was. He just didn’t want to be an asshole, so he’d said that to make her feel better. He’d probably noticed how many times she was paying attention to Adam instead of him.

After a lengthy period of silence filled only by their boots scraping the packed dirt ground, Matt tugged her gently by their joined hands, pulling her off balance to crash lightly into his body.

“Hey!” She said in surprise, jerked out of the anxiety spiral her thoughts were becoming, blinking rapidly at him.

He was grinning.

“Earth to Hazel,” he said, echoing that same phrase he’d had to use to pull her out of her thoughts earlier. They didn’t even know each other, how did he know to do that? 

“Sorry, I’m such a basketcase today, I swear I’m not normally like this.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes, exasperated with how much she was struggling.

“Aw, you’re fine.” He reassured and smiled at her. “Get out of your head, wild filly.”

Butterflies in her stomach at that little pet name he’d decided on after their earlier conversation and she blushed, looking away from him to gather her thoughts on a safer topic. She was thankful she saw her vehicle and could avoid answering altogether. “That one’s mine,” she said, pointing toward the little bright blue Ford Ranger waiting in the dimly stadium-lit field where they’d been parking cars throughout the day. They walked toward it, just a few paces away.

“I didn’t think you drove a truck.”

“I mean,” she laughed, “does a Ranger really count as a truck?”

He laughed and pulled her to a stop beside her truck, turning her to face him. He still held her hand and grinned down at her. “I was right. This definitely ain’t your first rodeo.”

And just like that, she remembered Adam’s joke, the same one he’d made earlier when she’d talked about her past. She hadn’t told Matt about that. She inhaled a sharp breath and blinked, but Matt was leaning in, pulling her close, and pressing his mouth hot against hers. And her lips were moving, forming to his, opening, her tongue prying at his mouth, his sliding into hers. And he was pushing her up against the side of her truck, jean-trapped cock rubbing against her thigh as she opened her legs to give him better access. And his breath was a hot hiss of air from his nose, and his beard scratched her skin as he moved his mouth hungrily over hers. His hands pinched her waist hard, trapping her at the angle he wanted to fit best between her legs. She spread them wider, and he dipped, fitting his hips up so he could rub the swollen, hard lump of his need and want more firmly against her. The pressure just barely teased her, enough to make a needy, whiny moan crawl up from her lungs and push desperate into his mouth.

He pulled his mouth off of her like he’d had to be forcibly removed, his arms shaking, fingers curled tight around her hips, hard enough she wouldn’t be surprised to see little finger-print shaped bruises on her skin later on. He tried to laugh, but was too breathless to do even that, and he hadn’t moved his body away from hers. He was struggling, trying to catch his composure.

“Sorry,” he said, and flashed his eyes toward her, “I just… meant to kiss you. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

“No, it’s okay,” her voice barely had any volume to it and she was dizzy. Her lips were tingling and the breath she sucked in with need tasted like him. Like the faint mint from his gum.

“You are something else,” he murmured in a warm breath, grunting as he seemed to all but force himself to step off of her, peeling his weight away from her and letting her settle flat on her feet again. The night felt so much colder, all of the sudden. Her hips ached pleasurably where he’d been holding her. She flushed under the compliment, and the stare in his eyes that was still eating her up. It was killing him not to take her back to his hotel room, but he wasn’t going to cross that line again unless she gave him the invitation. 

“You too, cowboy.” She said, and her voice sounded dazed. Her blood was rushing in her ears.

“Drive home safe now, alright?” He said, and his hand moved at his side, like he’d wanted to reach out and grab her again but had to remind himself not to. It fell back down again.

“Okay,” she said, heart aching suddenly, confused on why she was still deciding not to say fuck it and throw caution to the wind. She pushed herself off her truck and turned to fish her keys out of her pocket. She’d turned it in the lock to pop the door open when Matt spoke up behind her.

“Actually, can I get your number? You can text me when you get home so I know you’re alright?”

It was a cute, classic excuse to hide the real reason he wanted her number, but she didn’t mind. She assumed he likely wanted to have her number on hand in case another rodeo brought him close enough to justify them meeting up and, maybe, he’d get lucky to actually sleep with her the next time they did. It wouldn’t surprise her and she wasn’t offended, in fact… she was more than interested. If he got her that crazy just kissing her up against her little truck… Wow.

“Yeah,” she said and smiled so he’d know she knew what it was about. She didn’t expect good morning texts and long conversations late into the night. She tugged her phone out of her pocket and pulled up her contact screen, passing the phone to him as she pulled her truck door open and hopped into the cab. He finished typing his information in by the time she turned to look at him. Matt extended her phone toward her with one hand, and leaned his forearm on the roof of her truck with the other.

When she grabbed the other end of her phone, he didn’t let it go. Instead he dipped down, and he pulled her toward him (though really she leaned up of her own volition) so their lips could meet for another kiss. He started to press in hard, to smear his lips against hers, the energy building back up inside him again, and pulled back with a sharp inhale. He released a slow breath through his nose, lips pressed together as he looked down at her.

“Are you planning on coming back tomorrow?” He asked, voice warm and smooth, his finger skimming her jawline after he let her take her phone back, thumb resting at her chin and keeping her face pointed up at him. Tingles spread from his touch. “I’d love to know there’s a pretty little thing like you in the audience cheering as me and my brother win the championship.”

There it was, that big ego that was all too natural and he couldn’t help flex with such confident casualness and a knowing grin shortly after. He might as well have winked when he took his fingers away from her chin. She playfully pushed her hand lightly into his chest as if to shove him off her truck, and he stumbled back.

“What makes you so sure you’re going to win?” She teased, pushing the key into the ignition and turning it over to start the engine. He flattened his hand on her still-open driver’s side door.

“Oh please,” he laughed and rolled his eyes. “Tomorrow night,” he tapped the belt buckle that currently clasped the belt slung through his Wrangler’s belt-loops. “I’ll have a shiny new buckle on my belt.” 

He was so matter-of-fact about it, she didn’t question that he was probably right. He slid his hand down her driver’s side door and slowly started to close it, but before he was shut out, he arched a brow beneath the shade of his hat.

“So, am I going to see you cheering me on tomorrow?” Something hung in his tone. Something that told her he actually cared if she’d be there or not. Funny… but she decided to not let herself wonder about it for too long.

Her smile pushed high into her cheeks. “Yeah,” she said with a nod, “I’ll be there to cheer you and your brother on tomorrow.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, and she suddenly felt dizzy all over again. 

He gave her that damnable wink, as though he knew the exact effect he’d had, with a smile pushing a little higher into one side of his bearded cheek than the other, and gently closed her truck door, stepping back to watch her drive away and giving her a wave in the rearview mirror.

**********

She chucked her keys on the side table, pushed the door shut behind her and half stumbled, half kicked off her boots as soon as she got home. The scrabbling of dog nails on hardwood from the kitchen alerted her that her two golden retrievers, Callahan and Carson, were about to rush around the corner to greet her. Hazel pulled her phone out of her pocket, typing across the touchscreen with one hand as the pups came panting and wagging their entire bodies, dancing and prancing around her, pressing their nose to her clothes and demanding attention for having left them alone all day.

“Alright, alright!” She laughed gently as they pushed at her, and abandoned finishing the text message to give them affection and apologize for not being able to take them to the rodeo. They followed her as she made her way down the hall and toward the master bedroom and adjoining bathroom. She finished typing the text message and hit send.

TEXT TO: MATT JACKSON Made it home in one piece!

She gently tossed the phone atop the fluffy comforter that lay over her bed, letting it land with a soft thud. It chimed with a returned text message as she rummaged through her drawers just as Callahan and Carson jumped up onto the mattress, flopping down with huffs. Carson perked his ears and glanced toward the phone as it buzzed again, then glanced over at her.

“I’ll look at it in a minute, Carson.” She chided, unbuttoning her long sleeve shirt and pulling it off, unclasping her bra and barely suppressing the relieved moan as she took it off. She slipped a soft, large shirt over her head, it’s hem just brushing her mid thigh. She unbuttoned and stepped out of her jeans, tugged off her socks and padded barefoot to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash the rodeo dust off her face.

And of course Callahan and Carson got a few more cuddles before she finally reached for her phone and swiped to see Matt’s reply.

TEXT FROM: MATT JACKSON Glad to hear it. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

She smiled and reached to flick off the lamp on the side table, typing away into the white-blue glow of the phone screen.

TEXT TO: MATT JACKSON In case I’m too busy working and don’t see you before your run, good luck!

TEXT FROM: MATT JACKSON Didn’t we already discuss that I don’t need luck, because I’m definitely winning? Anyways, hope I do get to catch you before the run, I’d hate to not get a little good luck kiss.

At that she rolled her eyes, but pressed the button to give a “heart” reaction on his text.

TEXT TO: MATT JACKSON Goodnight, cowboy. Rest up. 💗

TEXT FROM: MATT JACKSON You too, wild filly. ❤️

**********

The second day went by quicker than the first. Maybe it was because they were busier, with more people to watch the championship runs than had come for the qualifiers. Maybe it was because she threw herself wholeheartedly into her work to keep her distracted so her wandering eyes wouldn’t pull toward every blond haired cowboy she saw out of her peripherals.

Not that she had to worry. Either Adam was avoiding her, or there were just too many people to single him out, because even ducking along the chutes and helping sort and load the roughstock for the upcoming rides, she didn’t catch sight of him once. She thought it was peculiar, especially given that she crossed paths with Matt and his brother Nick at least four times that day, and had even run into Kenny once.

But never Adam.

“Ash! Give us a hand!” A shout from Andrea distracted her, and she shook her head as she glanced down the lane of pipe-fencing. “Stand by that gate,” Andrea pointed at a gate near her, “and swing it shut as soon as we push Bueno away from Brisket! Don’t let Brisket bully by you, cause he’ll try!”

They were trying to separate two of the bucking horses in the pen, Bueno, a big seal bay gelding, needed to be sent down the lane to the chutes where he’d get tacked up for the ride, but Brisket, the dun bay, needed to stay in the pens behind. Brisket was running as though stuck to Bueno’s side, as if he knew they were trying to separate them and he wasn’t interested in doing so.

Andrea and the young volunteer that’d stepped up to help her shouted and raised their hands, sending the big horses thundering in bouncing trots toward her. They were picking up their gait, coming faster. Hazel planted her boots firm and lifted her chin, getting ready to spook Brisket so he’d turn about, but keep Bueno running forward. However, as they got near, Brisket pinned his ears and lurched toward where she was standing, lips peeled and flat, yellow teeth showing.

“Hey!” She shouted, jumping back to keep from getting snapped by the grumpy horse, though, at the same time someone else shouted loud over her.

Whoever it was reached to wave a hat over her head, spooking Brisket into pulling his gait up and jerking his head upwards over his withers, ears flat and eyes rolling white. It had the needed effect, as Bueno jolted forward down the lane he was meant to go and Brisket back-stepped and turned about, releasing an angry, loud snort as the gate closed and he didn’t get his way. Whoever behind her had scared Brisket off swung the gate shut, and the automatic lock secured it.

“You alright?” He said.

She glanced toward the familiar voice and found herself trapped in pretty eyes that looked more blue than green today, framed by gold ring-curls that had a soft impression from the hat he’d taken off to shake in the horse’s direction. The mid-afternoon sun was beating down and made his hair look as though it were gilded, like he was some creature of heaven. She could have rolled her eyes at how stupidly romantic that thought was. He raised a hand to shake through his hair and set his hat back on his head, frowning with concern down at her.

“Adam,” She said his name on a breath, exhaling slowly, her entire body suddenly on fire, standing so close to him. She blinked, and her brain caught up through the surprise at seeing him to remember he’d asked her a question. Heat flushed her cheeks immediately. “Uhm, yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. He didn’t get me, just tried to intimidate me. I don’t even think he was going to bite.” She glanced toward Brisket, who was being guided back through the lanes toward the holding pen where he’d wait for Bueno’s return, his ears perked and posture far less aggressive than before.

“Glad you’re safe.” Adam’s tone was dismissive and she whipped her head around to see him turning away, planning to walk off.

“Adam, wait-” She said it before she knew what she was going to say next. Adam paused and looked at her, though she could easily tell he didn’t actually want to. “I didn’t sleep with Matt last night.” She blurted it out and immediately felt embarrassed. Heat crawled up her neck and flushed her cheeks as she fought to keep looking at him and not fall to the cowardice that wanted her eyes at his boots instead.

A look crossed over his face, but before she could wonder what it meant, it was gone and a polite expression was in its place. Despite his cordial look, his voice that’d been honey warm the night before was cold when he spoke, and it sliced right through her. “That’s not really any of my business.” And I don’t care, seemed implied. He reached up to pinch the brim of his hat and tip it to her. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Baker.” 

Miss Baker, now. No longer Hazel. 

Those eyes lingered on her a second more, and then he turned away and walked off to prepare his bronc rope and get ready for his ride, his shoulders tense and back a little hunched.

She was hurt by his dismissal, and she was angry that she was hurt. What was he supposed to have done? Walk over and kiss her? Admit that he’d been jealous and that he wanted her? 

Yes, her heart whined. 

Fool, the scars across it mocked.

Maybe she wasn’t even ready for casual fun like she’d thought she was. How could she have been so affected by him? They’d only talked for a little while. Maybe there were still some things she needed to work through from her break-up instead of trying to bury that pain in attention and sex. Maybe she was just shaken because she’d been open with him, vulnerable, only to have him treat her poorly after she’d trusted him so quickly. 

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Hazel shook her head and closed her eyes, taking a breath and giving herself a moment to try and breathe and get out of her head.

“Up next, Adam Page’s ride on Brisby’s Bueno! This young man has had a stellar career this year, after running mid-rankings the last few years he’s risen to the top this year and is definitely this announcer’s must-watch kind of ride!” Kenny’s voice crackled over the announcer’s microphone, and she found herself mildly surprised to learn he was an announcer. He didn’t exactly have the look of an announcer…

Adam’s ride. His championship ride.

For some reason, despite what had just happened between them, she couldn’t help but wander toward the arena. She couldn’t deny herself wanting to watch his ride.

He rode beautifully, with his free arm raised, moving fluid as the rest of his body did with every twist and hard kick and upward hop the bronc gave underneath him. She watched the determination on his face, the way his chin bowed to his chest, and how hard his gloved hand wrapped around that bronc rope. Bueno kicked hard and jumped high for a horse as tall as he was, earning delighted and excited gasps from the audience at the show unfolding in the dirt ring in front of them. No matter what the horse threw his way, Adam stuck on, his legs moving in perfect synchrony over and down Bueno’s withers with each leap. The counter ran up, and Kenny’s voice excitedly crackled over the speakers, growing more and more heated as the ride progressed through snapping bucks and high-spirited kicks.

The buzzer hit eight-seconds. It’d felt like time stood still.

The pick-up riders charged their horses up, one took Adam as he took his hand off the rope and leapt over the pick-up horse’s haunches. The rider turned the horse away while the other pick-up rider unbuckled the snap on Bueno’s flank strap. He gave a few more excited, hyper bucks before slowing to a trot and allowing himself to be guided back toward the chutes. Meanwhile, Adam slid off the horse that’d taken him a slight distance away and landed with a thud onto the dirt, getting a supportive cheer from the crowd as he finished his ride safely. He didn’t even soak them in, but immediately turned his eyes toward the scoreboard, waiting for the judges final call.

89.6 point ride.

The crowd erupted into cheers, and she saw him glance down at his boots and smile, as though soaking it in himself, trying to believe it before he finally let himself look up at the crowd. They hollered even louder. She realized she was screaming for him too.

“89.6!” Kenny’s voice crackled excitedly over the speakers. “With that score, ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a champion! Raise a hand Adam, give them a wave!” He encouraged from the announcer’s booth, earning a glance and almost bashful smile from Adam before he shook his head and waved a hand at the audience, making his walk back to the chutes. Back toward her.

She was smiling when their eyes met, and he smiled too. It turned a little apologetic. A little sad.

She decided he was something of an enigma, and she would never understand him or these feelings she had for him. She shook her head and turned away, knowing she’d be needed in the holding pens as hands always were and deciding she’d rather throw herself back into work as a distraction to keep her mind from mulling. Unsurprisingly, it worked. Needing to stay alert while helping work around the animals and being a willing hand kept her busy and unable to pay attention to much else than what needed done and she could help with.

The only time she let herself stop again was to get herself a cold water bottle and perch up on the top of the fence to watch the Jackson brothers have their final run. She watched as they rode toward the box, the young white and grey-roan speckled roping steer loaded in the chute and ready to run the moment those gates flew open. Hazel caught sight of Matt glancing Nick’s way, Nick giving a reassuring nod before the pair separating to load up in their separate boxes. Matt hadn’t been putting on a front with his confidence; they gave the signal, the man pulled the chute latch open and the calf sprung forward, the brothers in quick pursuit. Matt, the header, threw his lasso over the steer’s horns and turned his direction. Nick, without hesitation, threw his lasso straight through the air and looped it perfectly around both back legs. He did it so quickly and so flawlessly, he made it look easy. Wrapping the rope around his saddle horn, he leaned back, holding tight as his horse dropped its haunches and pulled the steer taut. A cheer rocked the stands as the boys let the ropes go and the calf was able to kick free. The timer buzzed as they gathered and looped the slack of their ropes, still sitting on their horses.

She released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and shook her head in disbelief. It’d been over so quickly, with such precision, she found herself gaping as she watched the little speckled calf trot with a bleating cry back toward the pen to be with the other calves.

“And with that impressive time rounding out their final roping session of the evening, the Jackson brothers have done it again! Matt and Nick Jackson everyone, your rodeo tag roping champions!”

She screamed with the rest of the folks in the stands, jumping up and down and hollering enough to make her voice go out. The brothers shared broad grins and Matt turned his horse to ride alongside Nick, giving his younger brother a quick pat on the back and another happy smile. Nick returned the gesture of affection and waved toward the crowd as Matt rode off back toward the gate they were swinging open for him.

He saw her, and his grin slipped a little higher up one side of his bearded cheek. She noticed when he’d ridden, the tie on his hair had come loose not quite enough to be completely undone, but enough to give her a hint of how handsome he looked with it loose around his face. He shrugged as he pulled back the reins and stalled his sleek, bay roan roping horse to a halt beside her.

“What did I tell ya?”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled still. 

“I didn’t doubt you for a second.”

He leaned in the saddle, the leather softly creaking. She smelled the faint cologne, a damp of sweat, a little rodeo dust, horse and leather as he reached and ran his calloused thumb gently along her jawline. Tingles again.

“Good girl.” His smile showed teeth before he winked, slipping his hand away, leaving her skin warm. He gave a gentle squeeze of his knees, getting his horse to walk back to where he could dismount and tend to it. Along the way she watched him pause to clap hands and receive congratulations from his fellow rodeo buddies, a fond smile resting gentle over her lips.

“You guys must have had a good night,” Andrea’s familiar voice broke her from staring after Matt and she shook her head, focusing on her friends grinning face.

Hazel laughed. “We didn’t hook-up.”

“Don’t lie to try and impress me or make me think you’re some innocent angel. I’ve known you too long for that.”

“I’m not lying!” Hazel protested, “Honestly! I… got myself confused.”

“What? Like lost your way across the rodeo grounds?” Andrea frowned at her.

“No, I… ran into Adam, and we talked and I opened up to him like…” Hazel glanced around, looking for anyone overhearing, then back at her friend's expectant, curious face. “Like no one I’ve opened up to in a long time. He was going to kiss me, but then Nick interrupted us and assumed we were coming to their little fire. Matt was there and he assumed I was there to see him and Adam got pissed off and now he’s acting like an asshole and Matt and I made out but I didn’t fuck him and now I’m more confused than I was coming into this mess.”

She’d talked fast, and her pleading eyes looked desperately at Andrea, who blinked rapidly.

“Wow, a hell of a lot more happened last night than I thought.”

“Yeah!”

“Don’t bother with Adam getting his panties in a bunch. Like I said, he’s a keep-to-himself kind of guy. If he was so upset with you and Matt flirting maybe he should have spoken up.”

“Thank you!” Hazel exclaimed with frustration. 

“Still, I can’t believe you didn’t sleep with Matt.” 

“You and me both.”

**********

Fire in his belly, it licked hot at the insides and spread over his skin like an itch he’d never scratch. In his mind, as he loaded the trailer and collected his winnings, preparing to leave the rodeo, he just kept seeing them.

Matt, leaning down on his horse to gently, affectionately hold her face. Her, looking up at him with a smile that he would like to have had reserved for him.

It was stupid, he told himself for the hundredth time as he climbed into the cab of his truck and started the engine, letting it gently rumble to life. It was stupid because she wasn’t anything to him.

Only that he’d felt like he’d been struck by lightning the moment he overheard her talking to Dolly. Only that he’d found a funny little smile on his face as he stayed quiet and listened, feeling bad for eavesdropping but finding a foreign, comforting warmth settling inside him the more he listened to her talk. Only that he’d thought the wind had been knocked out of him, like he got kicked in the gut by a bronc, when that soft light lit her profile and showed him the most gorgeous woman he could ever remember lying eyes on. Only that when her eyes had gotten sad, and she’d said she left competing for a reason she couldn’t share, he wanted her to trust him to take on that pain with her, and help her heal from it. Only that he’d shut himself off to the possibility of romance years ago, but when he talked to her he felt like every second of their time together was the most important moment of his life…

And then came Matt.

He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel and squeezed hard enough to turn the knuckles white. His jaw clenched as he glared at the open road, turning truck and trailer onto it, leaving the rodeo grounds behind. It wasn’t Matt he was angry with, or her for that matter, though he might as well have been with how he behaved.

It was himself.

The tension in his body slowly leaked out, color returned to his knuckles, and his shoulders sagged. It pierced right through him, remembering that look across her face this afternoon when he’d dismissed her. As he’d walked away he’d called himself every name in the book, begged himself to turn around and grab her and ask her what it was about her - a stranger - that made him feel so many things he hadn’t felt in years.

And how much that scared him.

And how much he let that fear control his life, removing the chance of losing her by driving her away before it could happen.

Driving her into Matt’s open, eager, waiting arms.

I didn’t sleep with Matt last night.

Why had she told him that?

He knew why. He only wished she hadn’t. He only wished she hadn’t looked up at him with those big, amber-brown eyes that made him ache to his core like he’d always known them. He only wished she hadn’t kept reaching for him with that longing he felt an understanding of, that made the defenses guarding his wounded heart snap and snarl and drive her away. It’d been bruised again and again and again, it no longer knew how to accept even the gentlest touch without fearing pain that might follow.

It was better this way.

He’d been telling himself that since the night prior, since watching her eyes light up as she talked with Matt by the fireside, and still finding himself aching for her company. He hadn’t been able to follow Nick and Kenny’s conversation, because any time her giggles swelled a little in volume his eyes shot to them, and jealousy was something bitter in the back of his throat. He had a feeling he hadn’t been subtle about it, because eventually they stopped trying to include him in their conversation and kept talking to one another, instead.

He had enough to deal with from helping his dad with the family tobacco farm, to trying to raise, train, and sell his own rodeo circuit horse stock, to trying to make a name for himself as the top, undeniable bronc bustin’ champion. There was no place, no room in his life for a woman that made him feel like loving her would change how he saw the world. Especially not one who lived a good six hours from where he did. Especially not one he’d hardly ever see as he traveled town to town to compete in the rodeos. It would never work, and the pain it’d cause when it didn’t wasn’t something he was brave enough to risk.

No matter how he tried to justify himself walking away from her, every piece of him screamed and rebelled against what he’d done. It was an exhausting spiral from want to anger to anguish to disappointment and he hoped it’d leave him soon. 

The more miles he put between her and those damningly beautiful eyes and that pretty little smile that made his heart skip a beat in his chest, the better.

Or so he tried to tell himself.

Familiar // th x fem!reader

Summary: you’re a famous youtuber invited to interview the Far From Home cast, what nobody outside you and people close to you know, you’re already dating one of them.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: smut, fluff

A/N: this request was really fun to write! Some is written in Tom’s pov, some parts are flashbacks and some italics are youtube comments. Bold words are texts

“Hey what’s up folks! Today is the day of packing and moving! That’s right! I’m moving flats! And in my new place, drum roll please,” you say, hand not holding the camera hitting your thigh to imitate a drum roll, “I’ll have an actual filming room! No more filming at my bed or desk, I’ve got a real office where I’ll get to put in bookshelves and the works!”

You are sitting with your legs crossed on your bed, letting your subscribers in on a little life update of yours. 

Of course you wouldn’t tell them who you were moving in with, you and Tom were planning on going public soon, but you both wanted to wait until the hype from Far From Home died down, with a little less than a month from its release, you had some time before you revealed to your 8 million subscribers that your boyfriend was the one and only Tom Holland. 

“So yeah, I might not be as active while I’m moving this week but be on the look out for a video about everything right about Avengers Endgame tomorrow with a special announcement! Alright, I’ll see you all later!” You blow a kiss to the camera, ending the video.

You get to work uploading the quick video to your YouTube channel before packing away the rest of your clothes. Your books and comics all were packed away and waiting for Harrison who was bringing by his car to help you pack. Tom would be in London tomorrow but Harrison was around to help the start of your move since your lease ended tomorrow. Your bed was being sold tomorrow morning, the rest of your furniture already sold, everything you needed was at Tom and Harrison’s flat, Tom’s bed now your own, which sent an excited shiver down your spine. Tom wanted to buy you new bookshelves and a desk for your filming space, which you graciously accepted, excited to see what he was going to pick out while you were putting away your clothes.

The last of your clothes were packed away by later that day and you were sitting on your bed eating pizza while scrolling through your Instagram.

Tom had posted something on his Instagram story and you excitedly opened it, he was sitting on a plane, head lightly resting against the window while he spoke.

“Hey guys, I’m on my way to London right about now, very excited to see all my friends and family again, got some interviews but I’ll also be hanging out with friends, doing a little redecorating, so I probably won’t be online that much, but thank you for all your support and I can’t wait for you all to see Far From Home July 2nd in theatres!”

You smile at the sound of his voice before your phone rings, making you sit up and throw your pizza box out, answering the phone as you unlock your front door. 

“Hey, my cars parked out front, I’ll be up to your flat in a second okay?” Harrison says.

“Sounds good, I’ll start dragging boxes towards the elevator.”

You and Harrison figured out how to stop the elevator, it was late at night and most people were already home. You were able to stack a good portion of your books and comics into the first trip down, dragging them out to his car and piling them into the trunk and backseat.

“Next trip should just about get everything then,” you sigh as you sit in the front seat as Harrison drives away.

“Are you gonna miss this place?”

“Nah,” you shake your head, “just excited about the new place. Thanks for letting me move in.”

“I’m almost never there anyways, might as well put the rest of the flat to good use when I’m gone.”

“Thanks,” you sigh and the trip to Tom and Harrison’s flat, now yours as well, was quiet as you listened to music. 

He pulls into the parking lot of their building and slips on the hood of his sweatshirt, “don’t want anyone spotting us,” he laughs, “imagine Tom getting off the plane to rumors that famous YouTuber y/n y/l/n and Harrison Osterfield are dating?”

“He’d lose his god damn mind,” you laugh as you start hauling the boxes up the stairs.

“That’s the last thing he needs right now. Besides, it’ll look weird when you two are spotted in public after Tom’s movie is done in theatres.”

“True,” you giggle as you place your boxes in the empty office area, neither of the boys used it so it was the perfect space for everything you had for filming.

“Ready for the next trip?”

You nod and the two of you make your way back to your flat and you say goodbye to your home from the past four years, you started your YouTube channel here, you celebrated your million subscriber milestone here, you kissed Tom at your front door for the first time, you had sex for the first time on the bed you were selling, you sighed contently remembering all the good memories from this flat, excited to make new ones at your new home. 

As you settled into Tom’s bed later that night, correction, Tom and your bed, you send a quick text to him, so he would see it when he landed tomorrow morning.

All moved in, can’t wait to greet you at our flat tomorrow, love ya x

You plug your phone in, body curling up around his pillow, soft and it smelled just like him. You let the waves of sleep overcome you as you dreamed about reuniting with Tom.

You woke up a little confused, a strong pair of arms around your waist, head resting on your shoulder, “wh-, Tom,” you mumble as his lips trail along your skin.

“Missed you pretty girl,” he sighs, fingers running up and down your skin below your tank top.

“Missed you more,” you grin as he maneuvers the two of you so you’re straddling his hips.

“Show me,” he smiles sleepily and you nod, head meeting his as his fingers make quick work of pulling your panties to the side, swiping through your slick folds as you moaned into his mouth, his tongue mapping out your mouth. It’s been awhile, too long, since he’s been here, with you and you missed every single part of him.

Including this, his thumb rubbing your clit as your chests met, your hard nipples aching to be touched. Trying to be close in every way imaginable before he was whisked away again.

One of your hands trail down to his hard cock trapped beneath his sweatpants, your hands bump into each other as you both work on helping get the other off. In the beginning it would’ve awkward, you would’ve moved your hand and blushed because you felt like you were clunky. Now it was easy, each time the knuckles of his hand grazed your own you shivered into his mouth, grinning as your hand slipped into his sweatpants and grasped his hard cock, Tom grunting against you.

He had three fingers inside you, thumb rubbing your clit as you jerked him off, hand moving a little faster when you approached your high.

“Fuck, Tom, make me come,” you whine against his lips.

“Always,” He says, kissing you deeply as you come, catching your broken moans while he slips his fingers out of you, helping you sit up and rub his cock against your entrance.

“Fuck, missed this,” he groans as you seat yourself fully on his cock, “missed you.”

His strong hands hold your hip, thumb drawing circles on the skin between your tank top and panties, sending more shivers down your spine and goosebumps along your arms.

“Are you cold?” He laughs as you nod, your hips moving faster, positioning yourself so his cock is hitting your g-spot with each stroke.

“Fuck,” you grunt, legs shaking with exertion as his cock twitches inside of you.

“Missed your lips,” he mumbles against them before kissing along your jaw.

“Missed your neck,” he says before biting down softly and soothing the spot with his tongue, careful to make sure it doesn’t leave a mark.

“Missed these,” he mumbles as he pinches your nipples above your tank top sending yet another shiver down your spine. 

“Missed you the most though,” he kisses you as you come, sending him into a blissful orgasm, his cock twitching as he empties into you.

“Love you,” you whisper as you lay on his chest, both of you catching your breathes.

He starts to laugh, deep in the gut laugh that shakes both of you.

“What’s so funny?” You ask, you can’t help but laugh with him.

“We’re both still wearing clothes,” he helps the two of you sit up, his cock slipping out of you before helping you stand.

“Shower?”

“Yes, lemme get the all clear, make sure Harrison’s in his room.”

You nod and he kisses you quick before slipping out of his room, your room.

“Nope, nope, I absolutely do not want to hear the both of you having shower sex.”

“Harrison come on, we’re just going to shower mate,” Tom says and you peep your head out of the door.

“It’s true, the first and only time we ever attempted shower sex, I dislocated my shoulder and was in a sling for three weeks.”

“Thought you fell down the stairs?”

“Cover story, can’t really tell my subscribers that I slipped and fell while on my boyfriend’s dick and we both collapsed on the floor of the shower.”

“That’s a fun party story though,” Harrison laughed and you waited until he closed his door before meeting Tom in the hallway, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you into him, kissing you as he walked backwards into the bathroom.

***

“Do we really need to wait until August to tell everyone?” Tom sighs as the water from the shower falls above you.

“Well, it would be a little weird if people saw the interview after we told everyone about us? They’d say I got it because I’m dating you, and I mean, I’m sure even when we eventually tell people we’re together, they say the same thing, but I’d like people to be kind for now.”

“Why’d they be anything but kind?”

“I dunno, I guess I’m afraid they’ll be mean, I get stupid hate and stuff now, but nowhere near the level I might get, you know when people find out about us.”

“I’m sure you’ll have some angry fans, mad they can’t be dating you,” Tom teases as his hands massage your shoulders, yours washing the shampoo out of your hair.

“I just, I love you and I know things will be different and I’d like things to stay the same, at least for a little while.”

“We can navigate it together, promise blackbird.”

The rest of the day you spend unpacking your clothes while Tom goes shopping. You tried to insist that you could get the bookshelves and desk, that he must’ve been exhausted from the flight and should relax.

“I’d want nothing more than to pick out those for your workspace, promise,” he smiled before kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and then kissing you for longer before you shoved him out the door.

You’re listening to music as you put away clothes, cleaning up Tom’s messy room while you do, organizing his clothes on one side of the closet as well as the dresser.

He gets home a few hours later, Harrison helping him bring the boxes up.

“Hey blackbird, I know your other bookshelves were small but they didn’t fit much of anything so I sort of got bigger ones, they’ll take a little longer to put together but I don’t mind.”

“Okay bubs, wanna get some takeaway and get started?”

“Thai?” He says, placing the last box in your office space. 

“Excellent, I’ll give them a call,” you pull out your phone as Tom opens up the first box, your desk, a sleek dark brown. He pulls out the pieces and instructions as you sink to the ground next to him. 

You give the takeout place you and Tom’s order before resting your chin on Tom’s shoulder as he attempts to read the directions.

“These look confusing.”

“We can figure them out,” you say, hands running down his arms as he squints at the directions, turning them over in his hands.

“Okay, I think this is the right side up.”

“The fact that it’s only pictures so be illegal,” you sigh as Tom’s hands put the directions down and reach for the big flat desk part, turning it upside down and grabbing the first set of screws.

“I should get a screwdriver,” he says, you sit back as he stands up and you unwrap the legs of the desk.

Tom comes back and you turn your phone on, letting music play softly as you both sit and get to work, Tom adding screws to the top of the desk while you get the legs ready.

Tom’s humming and singing to the Beatles playlist you’ve got on and you can’t help but smile at how pretty his voice is.

“You know, if you ever get bored of this whole acting thing, singing might not be a bad career choice.”

He laughs, head tilted back as he pushes the first leg into the desk as you stand up.

The first few chords of a familiar song played in the background. 

“C’mere blackbird, it’s our song,” he says, resting the top of the desk on the ground and holding out his hand.

You place yours on top of his and let him spin you around, coming back to rest your arms around his neck, his fitting perfectly around your waist as you swayed around the room, full of boxes with your favorite books and comics.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,” Tom sings softly, forehead pressed against your own as you both reminisce on how the two of you met.

Tom was walking Tessa in the park, it was fairly empty so he let her off the leash, tossing the tennis ball around.

He noticed a girl in a T-shirt and jean skirt reading a book under a large oak tree. Tessa must’ve noticed her too because when he threw the tennis ball, Tessa picked it up with her mouth and sprinted over to the tree, tossing it in the lap of the girl who set her book down, head tossed back in a laugh as Tessa’s front legs stood on her lap, the girl’s hands petting Tessa as Tom ran over.

“Tess, what’re you doing?”

“She’s adorable,” the girl giggles while Tessa licks her face.

And you’re adorable, Tom thinks, head tilting to look at her T-shirt, some sketch of a bird on it. 

“Sorry about that,” Tom says, crouching down to attach Tessa’s leash again.

“No problem at all, I adore dogs,” she smiles and she’s absolutely stunning, the afternoon sunlight illuminating the freckles speckled across her cheeks.

“Well, uh, again, sorry,” Tom says, stumbling backwards over his own feet as he pulls Tessa away.

“No worries,” she smiles as Tom leaves, eyes watching as Tom walks away, laughing to herself quietly before picking up her book.

The next day Tom was grabbing coffee at a cafe with Harrison when he spotted the same hairstyle and freckles standing off to the side by a table covered with books, a laptop, and several notebooks.

He took a deep breath, hyping himself up as he thought of what to say to catch her attention in the busy cafe. 

“Hey! Blackbird!” 

What the fuck Tom?

That was the bird on her shirt from yesterday right?

A few people turned their heads to him, including her.

He sighed as she had a brief moment of recognition in her eyes.

“boy from the park,” she smiles as he crosses towards her.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again. Well since you’re here, maybe I could grab you some coffee? As an apology for Tess jumping on you?”

“I actually-,”

“Y/N!” One of the baristas called out and she tilted her head towards the drink on the counter.

“Already got one,” she picks up the drink, setting it on her table, “but maybe you could get the next one for me?”

“Huh?”

Oh, oh she understood what he was saying and was inviting him to ask her out. 

Smooth Tom, real smooth.

“You know? A coffee date?” She asked, cheeks red as she sat down.

“Oh! Yeah, yes, I’d love that,” he nods.

He stands there, hands shoved in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet for a few seconds, looking like an idiot while she stared at him expectedly.

“Oh, uh, do you want to give me your phone number or something?” He asks, pulling his phone out and opening it, setting up the ‘new contact’ page.

He sets the phone on top of one of her notebooks and she picks it up, quickly typing into it before handing it back.

“It was a mockingbird actually,” she says as he starts to back away, wanting to let her get whatever work she needed to do done.

“What?”

“My shirt, from yesterday, a mockingbird.”

“Oh, oh, I’m not exactly a bird connoisseur,” Tom laughs.

“It’s okay, I like blackbirds more anyways,” she giggles and Tom’s entranced.

“Well uh, just text me, lemme know the next time you’re free?”

He nods quickly, “Yeah, uh, see you again soon hopefully,” he trips over his feet as he walks back to Harrison.

“Okay Mr. smooth,” Harrison chuckles. Tom looks down at the new contact added into his phone.

‘Blackbird’

The song ends and Tom kisses your forehead before you both settle back and finish putting together the desk.

After a few cartons of Thai, an album or two of Beatles, and a few mishaps, the two bookshelves stood tall against the opposite wall to the desk.

“I’m so fucking tired,” Tom sighs and you look back at him, both of you shoving the cardboard into a single box to go out to the trash later.

“Babe, told you you should’ve rested, one of the only days you get off before you’re back doing press.”

“I’d want nothing than to spend today here with you. Speaking of press, you excited to interview your favorite MCU cast member tomorrow?”

“Jacob? Hell yeah, I’m pumped,” you joke as Tom scoffs in fake annoyance.

“But seriously, are your followers freaking out?”

“Oh fuck you’re right, forgot that my video announcement was queued for today. Lemme check,” you say excitedly, Tom following you out of the office to your bedroom. Every single time you thought of it being your bedroom, your heart fluttered in excitement.

You sit down on the bed with your laptop, patting the space next to you, where Tom proceeds to collapse on his back, fingers tapping along your leg as you open your laptop and check your video, released four hours ago.

A plethora of comments chimed in, mostly asking if you were excited to meet the cast, one comment made you laugh, so hard you hunched over and there were tears in your eyes.

she’s hot but she better stay the fuck away from Tom, he’s the internets boyfriend and the internets boyfriend only

Tom sat up and read the comment, chuckling as he kissed your shoulder, “whaddya think they’ll say when they find out that I’m not only the internet’s boyfriend but also yours?”

“Probably a lot of heart attacks, they can get over themselves though,” you sigh, scrolling past it to more excited and positive comments.

***

The next day, Tom had to leave early for a long day of interviews, yours right after lunch. You took an Uber to the building the interviews were held in. The night before Tom and you talked about being careful during the interview, making sure to act like you’ve just met, like you haven’t been dating for a year and a half. 

You’re thrown into hair and makeup by the press managers, you were wearing your jean skirt, the same skirt you wore the very first time you met Tom and Spiderman T-shirt, very on brand for your YouTube channel about books and comics.

You were given several index cards with questions, told to introduce yourself to the cast, shake their hands, sit down and get started asking questions. 

You weren’t nervous as you walked into the interview room, lights bright and shining on the three seats with Tom, Jacob, and Zendaya.

You’ve met both Jacob and Zendaya before when they were here to film Far From Home. They all smiled when they saw that it was you coming in for the interview. 

You walked over and shook their hands, Jacob first who gave you a cheeky smile, giving the obligatory, “what’s your name?” 

“Y/N,” you say as you move onto Tom next and fuck who allowed him to wear what he was wearing, striped shirt, patterned pants that made his thighs look so good you just wanted to throw everyone else out of the room and-

“Nice to meet you,” Tom interrupts your dirty thoughts as he sticks his hand out.

You shake it, “you too,” you manage to get out, cheeks reddening a little.

He laughed at your slightly flustered state and you couldn’t help but lightly roll your eyes at your boyfriend. 

You move onto Zendaya, she shakes your hand, a glint of humor in her eyes from watching you and Tom trying to interact like you didn’t know each other. 

You settle back into the chair directly opposite of Tom and cross your legs, looking down at the index cards. You’re about to start with the first question, all insanely generic and you wish you could have written your own questions when Tom cuts you off.

“Nice shirt, Spiderman your favorite superhero darling?” 

You watched as he bit his tongue and was internally kicking himself, which made you giggle slightly, “sure, he’s pretty okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Maybe this movie will make me fall in love with him,” you say and Tom fights the urge to taunt you back.

He bites his lip and nods, eyes roaming your body before you bring it back to the questions. 

“What was your favorite filming location?” You ask and look back up at the three people in front of you expectedly.

“I really loved Venice, the location was just gorgeous, would love to go back there someday,” Jacob responds.

“Can’t lie, I really loved going to each and every location but I think my favorite had to be London, you know? Not just cause we’re doing interviews here, but because it’s such a great location,” Zendaya adds.

“I’m gonna agree, I think London was my favorite filming location. One because it’s my home and I got to see so many of my friends and family there,” Tom answers smiling with a glimmer of reminisce of the times. You’d sneak onto the filming location to bring him a coffee or food that wasn’t from the set, he’d kiss you quickly whenever the coast was clear, both of your hearts racing and terrified that someone would see you. Nobody ever did, but the thought alone back then scared you. 

It did now as well, gauging from the reactions to your video, some people just would not be happy, but there wasn’t much you could do about it.

“London’s pretty nice, yeah,” you look at the next question and almost roll your eyes, so boring.

But you couldn’t go off script because Sony and Marvel invited you and they wanted the press and the fans that came with putting the video up on your channel. So they got to make the questions, got the free extra publicity from your channel, and you got a nice fat paycheck.

Everyone won.

“Who is your favorite superhero from the Marvel Cinematic Universe?”

You know all of them are going to say Iron Man so you weren’t surprised when Jacob said it and Zendaya and Tom nodded and murmured along in agreement.

“And who might your favorite superhero in the MCU be bl-,” Tom started but his eyes widened and you cut him off, blackbird, he was going to slip up and expose the two of you.

“Thought we already went through this Tom, it’s Spiderman,” you grin as he settles back into his seat, a wave of calm rushing over the both of you at your save. 

“Right, of course, who doesn’t love me,” he nods into a smirk as he sits back in his chair.

“Said I liked Spiderman, nothing about you pretty boy,” it easily slipped out of your mouth, teasing and flirting was second nature around Tom. 

Both of you get lost into each other’s eyes for a moment before you snap back into the reality, did you just blow everything up?

You pick up with the questions again, acting like nothing happened, “so, Far From Home picks up where Endgame left off, will we get to see the reactions of your characters at the aftermath of the snap and everyone coming back?”

“Spoilers!” Jacob jokes, all of you laughing.

“I mean yeah, we get to see firsthand what happens when you lose Earth’s best defender,” Zendaya responds.

“Yeah I think one of the coolest things in this movie is getting to see how everyone adjusts to losing Tony Stark, losing Iron Man, as well as seeing it from the perspective of high schoolers,” Tom finishes.

“Great, well that’s all the questions I have for you all, thank you so much for having me,” you say, smiling widely before turning to the camera angled behind them to address your subscribers when you eventually edit the video, “and go see Spiderman: Far From Home! In theatres July 2nd! Hope to see you there!”

“Cut, nice job, thank you y/n. Tom, Zendaya, Jacob, you’ve got five before the next interview. Tom immediately pulls his phone out as he gives you a look before you’re ushered away from the actors and into the dressing room where your phone and purse were sitting.

You grab your phone and smirk at the text from Tom.

Tom: don’t think we were too subtle

You: we’re idiots

You sigh as you slip out the door, grabbing another Uber to Tom’s place, your place you keep reminding yourself.

***

Tom slouches in his seat while texting her, 

Blackbird: it’ll put my editing skills to the test but i think i can manage it

Tom: we could just make that video as a way of sharing our love with the world

Tom: that was cheesy as fuck

Blackbird: i like my idea better

Tom: the q&a video one?

Blackbird: ya, what better way of putting the question i get every time i do a q&a to rest than to say ‘yep i’ve got a boyfriend’ and you just sitting down next to me

Tom: also cheesy

Tom: but I like it better

He’s interrupted by Jacob elbowing him, “almost blew it a few times huh?”

“I think we did our best.”

“I know, you only gave her heart eyes like a thousand times,” Zendaya pipes up and Tom rolls his eyes.

“Did not,” Tom argues, “what even are heart eyes?”

“You know,” Jacob says, eyes softening, mouth turning into a soft smile, “heart eyes.”

“Heart eyes,” Zendaya elbows Tom and gives her best heart eyes.

“Ugh you’re both insufferable sometimes,” Tom groans before the door opens and the next interviewer enters. 

*** You get home and lay on your bed, opening your laptop, you heard the ping! of the email and you see a secure email from Sony.

That was fast.

You open up the email with a video attachment.

Miss Y/L/N,

Attached is your interview with the cast from Far From Home. Please upload the video to your Youtube channel by the end of the day tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Sony Executives

You opened up the video and watched the footage, already cut to show your face when you were talking and Tom, Jacob and Zendaya when they were talking. It was a short clip, about five minutes, you were going to add an introduction of yourself at the beginning, as well as an outro.

You had set up your camera stand in the office yesterday and made your way over to film, standing in front of your desk with the camera in front of you.

“Hey everyone! As promised, I was lucky enough to interview the cast of Far From Home today! Here’s a few minutes of the fun time I had earlier!” You film your ending at the same time.

“So that was the interview! Drop a comment below on your favorite part of the interview! And, you might notice the space I’m filming in is a little different, that’s because I’m all moved in! Sort of,” you say, grabbing the camera from the stand and showing the video the room, your desk and bookshelves sat neatly in their respective places, you managed to unpack some of your stuff, the rest in boxes on the floor.

“So, if you would like to see a room tour of the filming space when I’m finished, let me know! Alright folks, keep reading and see you next time!”

You stop recording and bring the camera back to your room, sitting on the bed and uploading the video to your laptop. You open your editing software and begin to cut and edit the video into your interview. Your thumbnail comes next, one of Tom, Jacob and Zendaya looking as normal as possible, it was hard to choose an image from the video, most of the time Tom was just staring at you like he knew you, knew every piece of you. Which wasn’t really his fault, because he did know you. You added “Y/N meets FFH Cast!” in blue letters with a red outline onto the photo and went through the process of uploading the video.

You plugged your laptop in and let it upload, moving back to the office to start unloading more of your books.

“I’m home!” Tom’s voice echoes throughout the apartment and you perk up, jumping up from your seat on the ground and running down the hallway. 

“You know, I think that video is gonna send some people into a tailspin,” you laugh as he picks you off the ground and twirls you around.

“You called me pretty boy,” Tom laughs and you can’t help but sigh into his neck as he sets you down.

“I was just teasing,” you wiggle your eyebrows as he looks down at you.

“Teasing, teasing, you teased me alright, almost called you blackbird.”

“That would’ve done us in, Sony would’ve been thoroughly confused.” 

“Did you get the video uploaded?”

“It was loading a few hours ago, so I’m sure it’s uploaded now.” 

“Wanna go see the comments?” “You hate reading comments,” you point out as his arm wraps around your waist and you walk back to your room.

“I know but I also know you love reading them. And I can’t help but be curious, just this once.”

You nod as you get your laptop and situate yourself against the pillows, Tom’s head resting on your shoulder as you open the video and pause it, scrolling down to the comment section.

Oh my GOD they way she called him pretty boy to his face, embarrassing

“But Tom, you are my pretty boy,” you laugh as he kisses your neck.

“They’re just mad that I’m not their pretty boy.”

He called her darling, lit rally goals

Plz tell me they exchanged phone numbers

Zendaya giving her daggers like back off my mans lmfaoooo

“I think she gave you a look when you called me pretty boy, like ‘did she seriously just almost blow their cover like that’, Jacob and her got a good laugh out of it.”

Pleasee the balls on her to be flirting with him the entire time

Tom seriously dropped all the heart eyes for y/n and honestly same

Its called professionalism, you should look it up, it definitely doesn’t include flirting with the person you’re interviewing

“I can’t help flirting with you Tom, you’re just so cute,” you sigh as you shut your laptop, “that’s enough of the internet for today.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” he laughs as you set your laptop on the bedside table and Tom straddles your hips, “besides, I can definitely think of things I’d rather be doing, especially ones that don’t include anyone else,” his head ducks down to kiss up your neck, gently nibbling at your jaw as you both scoot down the bed so your back is flat.

His hand slips up your Spiderman T-shirt, groping your breast as you sigh, hands slipping into his hair to give it a light tug as he hastily unbuttons your skirt and unzips it, cold fingers running along the edge of your panties as you hear the front door slam.

“Tom! Y/N!” You hear Harrison shout as Tom groans into your neck.

“Get lost! We’re having grown up time!” Tom shouts, his voice vibrating against you.

“No, like you should seriously see something,” Harrison shouts and Tom grumbles as he sits up off of you and you fix your hair and zip up your skirt.

He rushes into the room, not even sighing or being annoyed at the two of you trying to get it on. He shoves his phone in Tom’s face and he pales, scrolling through what looks like a thread of tweets.

“What? What is it?” You ask, looking over his shoulder.

He finishes the phone and hands it to you, “think they’ve caught us.”

“Wh-,” your face also pales as your eyes widen reading through the tweets. 

It starts off innocent enough, two pictures, one of Tom, one of you, with the caption, ‘Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N’.

The next tweet is a picture of Tom at a Home Improvement store, grabbing your desk and bookshelf, it’s a close up of the boxes of stuff next to a picture of your office from your video, bookshelves and desk, titled ‘familiar?’

The next is a picture of you sprawled out on your bed during a livestream, Tom’s twitter sweatshirt on. Nobody could see the @tomholland1996 on the side, you were only showing your face, but a slip of it showed when you sat up, just the @to but it was enough for them to place it next to a picture of Tom at the airport wearing it, with the caption, ‘familiar?’

The next tweet in the thread was also titled ‘familiar?’ With a picture of you in one of your videos with the mockingbird T-shirt next to a photo of Tom at the pharmacy early one morning in the same shirt. It was actually your fault he went to the pharmacy, you got sick while he was spending the night, you were both naked after a long night of fun, so he threw on whatever shirt was closest and ran out, not thinking anything of it.

The next tweet was a video of you during a livestream, sitting on your bed, just talking when there’s a noise behind you, a slam of the door and a “hey blackbir-,” before the video cuts off. The caption reads, ‘voice familiar?’. 

The next was sort of silly, it was just a lot of screencaps from your video of you and Tom looking at each other with love in your eyes. The next was a video cut of your video, ‘ffh interview but just each time Tom and y/n flirt with each other’.

“Cats out of the bag?” Tom laughs as he hands Harrison back his phone.

“Honestly, if neither of us say anything, 10 bucks it’ll blow over in like a week,” you say, dropping back down to the bed as Harrison leans against the door.

Tom nods in agreement, “get lost Harrison, we’ve got some time to make up for.” 

Harrison rolls his eyes but slams your door shut as Tom jumps back on top of you, “sorry bout that, guess we really are bad at the art of subtlety.”

“Oh pretty boy, ain’t nothing subtle about us.” 

***

Taglist: @tom-hollands-blogs @spider-babes @unicornsyy @sunshinedolantwins @practicallylivesonline @tom-hollands-wife @quinjetboi @rageyoudamnednerd @sunnydays0803 @jackiehollanderr @khhbby @fancyxholland @thomasthetankson @lousimusician @amyalpha @musiclover1263 @peterbxrnes @relise-thefury @tessathedragon @rebeccamckirgan99 @starsholland @stucky-is-bae @fandomdarlings @sluttylokii @peteunderoos @saysomethingspiderman @therealcap @babygrootbabyjack @yamyam515 @dylanrauhl @spaceprintesa @mobbinholland @whisperingspace @desir-ae @cvrecem @legendsofwholock @christinaxolynn @particularmila @darktwistydiamond @i-guess-n0t

Cheeky

Genre: smut, it’s all smut, smutty smut smut smut

Warnings/Kink(s): sensory deprivation, orgasm denial, overstimulation, degradation, dirty talk, toys, spitting uwu, oral (giving and receiving)

Length: it’s long af like holy shit, I think it’s the longest one I’ve written??

Hours had passed. Tears stained the black tie that Yongtae was using as a blindfold. The only thing you could hear was your quiet sobs and heavy breathing. Yongtae had covered your ear with a pair of headphones and tied your hands and feet to the bed. But that wasn’t all Yongtae had in store for that night. You had been crying at the overstimulation from the vibe that was strapped to your legs. Yongtae denied you of your orgasm several times, having sped up the vibe just enough to get you there and then putting it back to the lowest setting.

Your body ached for him to touch you, you ached for him to let you cum but you knew his games. And you knew the safe word and although you were thinking of using it right now you pushed yourself to take it. You wanted to see what he had in store for the rest of the night. You wanted him to be proud of you. If it weren’t for the headphones you would’ve been able to hear the bedroom door open. You would’ve been able to hear his footsteps approach the side of the bed and you would’ve been able to hear his chuckle as he called you his fucked out slut. And you would’ve been wet at his degrading words.

You felt a pair of hands by your head. You held your breath as the hands undid the tie. You adjusted quickly seeing as the room was simply lit by the few lamps in the corner. Yongtae adored seeing your figure lightly illuminated by the soft glow of the light. Yongtae’s eyes were cold, like they always were but you knew that there was lust behind them. Yongtae didn’t show emotions and his expressions were always plain, mostly giving off a dark aura and there was nothing hotter. You were so attracted to his looks and he used that to his advantage. Walking to the edge of the bed Yongtae threw his tie on the floor followed by his suit jacket. He crawled on the bed inching his way towards you, your breath caught in your throat. Leaning real close to you he whispered something that you couldn’t make out. He ghosted his lips over yours, down your neck, past your collarbone pausing at your now rock hard nipples. His gaze never left you as his hot breath caused you to yelp. He continued to ghost his lips down your body all the way to your soaking core. You watched as his lips moved again before he wrapped his hand around the base of the vibrator and pressed it up against your extremely sensitive bud. You screamed out, tears falling once again. You caught a glimpse of him smirking, something you never saw him do and it drove you insane. Your core ached for him. “Please Sir” You whined. Yongtae came back up to you and held his two fingers in front of your mouth. “Suck” you read his lips and eagerly opened you mouth wrapping your tongue around his digits. You sucked with need, batting your lashes hoping to get some type of expression out of him again. He had no idea you saw and you needed him to slip once more. 

But he was good with hiding and controlling his emotions and you knew it. And if you told him he slipped he would’ve lost it. You had the bruises to prove it. He thought he could control his expressions and you let him think that until the first time you told him he slipped and he let you have it. You didn’t mind, you thought it was hot and you were thankful for that night because he gave you your very first whole body orgasm. Tonight however you wanted this punishment to be over. What was the punishment? You wouldn’t shut up about his friend. You always called him Gun, mostly because you didn’t know his real name. However if you started calling him by his real name you really would’ve been in for it. Yongtae knew you had a thing for his friend. He didn’t mind being the type he was, Yongtae even offered to let Gun have a round or two with you but back then you were too shy to be shared. Since then though you often caught yourself thinking about Gun and if he was similar to Yongtae or if his fantasies were more fulfilling. Yongtae’s head tilted to the side as he stared through your soul. You slowed your pace and his mouth moved again. You caught the word “Gun” fall off his lips and he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, a trail of saliva connecting from his fingers to your lips. 

He got off the bed and came around to your side once again, this time taking the headphones off. You moaned loud. To let him know that you were needy, to let him know you ached for him and if his back wasn’t facing you, you would’ve seen the devilish smirk painted across his face. He was slowly getting aroused. It always took him awhile, which was why his teasing was so long. You didn’t mind though, the longer he went teasing you the more precious sounds escaped your lips and the easier it was for him to get hard. He pulled up a chair and sat down in it. Leaning back he slowly popped the buttons on his shirt. One button at a time, very slowly until his chest was peaking out. He was teasing you further, you saw the dark colored mark from the last hot night you had and you smirked. Two could play at this game. “Sir, you liked when I gave you that mark. Isn’t that right.” You said matter of factually.  “I remember the way you moaned. It was so sexy Sir, you got me so worked up. The look in your eyes as I sucked at your delicate flesh, the way my tongue licked up your chest, the way my teeth grazed against your hot flesh.” You did your best to focus your attention on him, the low hum of the vibe mixed with the vibrations was working you over the edge but you pushed those feelings aside. 

Your eyes fell on his growing erection that was pushing against his pants, the way it caused the material across his thighs to tighten. His facial expression never changed though. You moaned, “Sir, you’re so hard thinking about it aren’t you. We want me to give you another one don’t you? I can tie you to the bed and bite your skin until you’re covered in purple marks that only I can see.” He had his chin perched in his hand, being held up by his arm that sat on the arm rest. His eyebrows rested on his face, his jaw locked. 

You were getting to him, you could tell. He turned his head and scoffed before leaning over the edge of his seat. Feet flat on the ground, his legs spread, his erection pushing against his pants. You smiled as he clasped his hands. He looked right at you as his face relaxed. “You think you can rile me up slut” The way he hissed that word caused you to sharply inhale. You tilted you head back and bucked your hips into the vibrator. “Maybe. You love it when I try Sir.” Yongtae stood up and hovered over you. His eyes looked into you and you breathed out. “I should’ve kept the headphones on you.” Without warning he turned the vibe on max volume sending a scream to rip out from your throat. “Oh god! Sir please!” You squeezed you eyes tightly as waves of pain and pleasure washed over you. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, the familiar feeling of your orgasm coming to shore. “I might love it when you play your games with me but you know that nothing gets you more excited than when I play my games with you. You like the long teasing, all the ruined orgasms, you love the way I stare into your eyes, you love the way I call you what you really are, a dirty, shameless slut.” Yongtae gripped the vibe at the base again and held it against your clit. “Fuck! Fuck Sir, oh god!” you screamed again, tears running down your cheeks. “I’m gonna cum” you gritted your teeth, squirming in the restraints. “No. You don’t get to cum yet. We still have all night. You’re gonna take it until I let you cum. Are we clear?” He growled. 

Whimpers poured out of your mouth as your thoughts turned into putty. Your eyes were open and hazing over as your orgasm came closer and closer. Yongtae never told you how much he loved your expression as he ruined you. He loved your tear stained face, he loved the look in your eyes, he loved the way your chest heaved up and down and the way your body shook, the way your thighs clenched around the vibe, the way your body, moist with sweat, glistened in the low light that emanated from the lamps. Yongtae let go of the vibe but kept it on the highest setting. He swung his legs over the bed and straddled your torso. He unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it out from his pants and opened it wide so you could see the multiple marks you gave him. You bit your lip trying to hold back from making more noises. 

Yongtae’s hands traveled up your torso and to your breasts. He pinched your nipples in between his fingers and pulled before letting go to slap you right across your breasts. You yelped, you voice shaky from how close your orgasm was. Yongtae knew you were close. “I said, are we clear slut?” “Yes Sir, yes.” you shakily called out. You breathing was heavy. You were at the edge and seconds away from your orgasm. You were ready and bucked your hips one last time into the vibe. But like Yongtae said, you had all night. He turned the vibrator back down to the lowest setting and you let out a frustrated whine that was enough for the corners of Yongtae’s mouth to curl up. “Don’t you need a release S-sir?” you tried to sound confident like you were earlier but you couldn’t control how shaky your voice was and how sore it was from screaming. Yongtae got off of you and sat back down in his chair. “Oh, he’s a bit swollen, I can feel him but I’ll get my release after I’ve finished teasing you. Besides, you always love the way my cum tastes after these long sessions.” You blushed at Yongtae’s words. “You do realize I’m going easy on you. If Gun was running this session he would give you no mercy.” “I don’t believe that, he can’t be worse than you.” you replied. Yongtae pulled out his phone and dialed a number that you only assumed to be Gun’s. “Are you testing me slut?” He asked. You wiggled in the restraints again. Your body was exhausted and you needed release. “What’s going on Yongtae?” You heard Gun’s sweet voice through the line. “Hey, so y/n’s a bit tied up at the moment and thinks you can’t possibly be worse than me.” Yongtae’s gaze was glued to you and sent electricity throughout your whole body down to your core. Gun laughed on the other side before the line went quiet for a bit until Gun spoke up again, his voice different. A dominant tone. “Let me talk to her.” Yongtae stood up and walked over to the bed for the third time that night and held the phone against your ear.

“You might think just because I’m younger than Yongtae means I won’t let you have it. If Yongtae wasn’t such a pussy on the inside he’d let me have my way with you. And Kitten, I’d have my way with you. You’d be screaming all night through multiple rounds, multiple ruined orgasms. You wouldn’t be able to walk for weeks after I finish with you. You might think Yongtae has all the good toys but Kitten, I’ve got much more than him, enough to last 48 hours, maybe longer depending how how much you can take it. And you’ll take it. I’ll have you begging for me to let you cum by the time the sun peaks in through the window. Into the afternoon the next day and another all nighter. You’d be a crying, fucked out mess Kitten. That sweet pussy of yours would be so wrecked by the time I’m done with you, so sensitive, you wouldn’t be able to walk for weeks, even move. Everytime Yongtae touched you you’d scream out at how sensitive you were and you’d remember those 48 hours and beg me to fuck you like that again. So much so you’d stop cumming for Yongtae-”

“Ok, that’s enough Gun.” Yongtae growled pulling the phone away from your ear. “We both know that I can fuck her way better than you. Besides, with the way she rides my cock is enough to keep her coming back no matter how many times I let you play with her.” You had spaced out during this conversation thinking about Gun and Yongtae playing with you had your head spinning. Yongtae ended the conversation and sat on the bed next to you. He cupped your face softly. “Now you believe me correct?” Yongtae said. “Yes Sir.” Yongtae nodded and stood up off the bed and went to his drawer and started digging for something. After a few minutes he comes back and sets something on the bed. Yongtae then turns the vibe off and begins undoing your restraints. You heave a large size of relief and your hands immediately find your pussy and you start gently massaging it. “What do you think you’re doing?” Yongtae says very calmly. He looks at you from the edge of the bed as he opens up a small package. “I- Sir, please, my pussy is so sore, you make my clit so sensitive..please Sir, please fuck me already.” You say bucking your hips as you play with your clit. 

Yongtae crawls on top of you and pulls your hand away from you and pins them to the mattress. “Touching yourself before I tell you to is a penalty.” Yongtae’s lips crash into yours but only for a second as he makes his way down your body. His hot lips nips at the skin along your jawline, neck, your collar bone and down to your breasts. He ghosts his lips over your pert nipples and you gasped at the sensation. “That’s 5 more minutes of you not being able to cum.” You moan out of frustration. “I’m sorry but you know the rules Princess. Now, come here.” You rose off the mattress to grab Yongtae’s hand and in a quick second he flipped you over on to your hands and knees. “Now,” he began running his hands very slowly up your thigh. “Put your face in the mattress.” “Yes Sir.” you did as he asks and your ass rose a little bit. A quick smack to your thighs told you that he wasn’t satisfied. “Higher, come’on stick it up in the air like you would for Gun and spread your legs. I wanna see that pussy.” You face turned red at his words. 

You did exactly what he said and a satisfied humming came out of him. His hands made another appearance on your thighs and the mattress went down and he sat on the bed behind you. His hands traveled up to your ass and began rubbing it. Then a couple swats across each cheek had you moaning into the mattress. “Look at how sexy you look for me. I can’t wait to get that pussy dripping. You were in a position where you couldn’t see jack but that was alright with you because Yongtae had a way with words. “I bought a new dildo just for you. It’s thrusts, you hear that?” You heard the low and strange humming noise the dildo was making and you couldn’t help but wiggle your ass a bit. Another swat landed on your ass. “Keep it still slut.” Yongtae was becoming impatient and you could tell. And when he was impatient it was only the smallest thing that would set him off and even though you were looking for him to fuck you rough tonight you didn’t want this punishment to go on longer than it needed to be. 

You felt Yongtae’s fingers slide right into your pussy. He started slow to tease you and then sped up. “If you try and hold back your moans I’ll add more time understand?” “Yes Sir.” You say making sure your words are loud and clear. Yongtae pulls his fingers out of you and his hands reach around your thighs to get a good grip and pulling your ass closer to him he sets his tongue against your slit. With his other hand he reaches in between your legs and finds your clit. Gently pinching it and rubbing it with his fingers you let out a soft moan as he begins working you up. Through soft moans Yongtae had your pussy dripping and his tongue deep inside you. Yongtae then spit right into your hole causing you to shriek. He chuckled. “Did I ever tell you how good you taste?” Yongtae said pulling away from you. All you could do was moan. Yongtae had the biggest grin on his face as he slid the dildo right into you. 

“Shit” you whispered. With the dildo now all the way in Yongtae turned it back on and you felt as it pumped into you. “Oh shit.” you cried. Yongtae’s hands went to work kneeding your ass. Your moans got louder as the dildo was stretching your walls. “Tell me how it feels.” He said lightly spanking your ass some more. You couldn’t help but push your ass into Yongtae’s hands. “Five more minutes.” he said. You whined as Yongtae came around the bed to face you. You had turned your face to the side so you could see him. “I’m sorry Sir.” A little bit of Yongtae’s soft side came out as he reached his hand over to move your hair out of the way. In a calming voice he asked you once again, “how does the dildo feel fucking your slutty pussy huh?” you moaned again as Yongtae gripped a chunk of your hair. “It feels good Sir, fuck!” “That’s better.” he said letting go of your hair. He propped one side of his body up on his elbows as one of his hands traveled down your back. Traveling under you and light grazing your nipples Yongtae pinched one of them and started rolling and pulling it between his fingers. 

“You have such pretty nipples you know that? And such cute breasts.” Yongtae gently slapped your breast before sitting back up and coming around behind you again. Yongtae pulled the dildo out of you and let it rest on your clit. “You’re doing better than I thought you would.” He said before shoving the dildo back in. You cried out. “Sir you’re not being fair!” “I’m not being fair? I’m not being fair?” Yongtae’s voice gets low and you realize you might’ve dug yourself a hole you can’t get out of. He pulls the dildo out of you and grabs your hips, his nail digging into your skin. “You’re the one not being fair. You feel that?” Yongtae’s grinds his cock up against your pussy, through his pants “You feel how hard I am right now? I have to sit and punish you because you won’t shut up about wanting to fuck Gun when all Daddy wants to do his fuck his little Princess until she cries. All I want to do is mercilessly pound into that whore pussy of yours while you take it and leave nail marks in your hips and cover you in bruises and hickies and fuck you so good you’ll cum over and over and over again screaming from each body shaking orgasm I give you. But Daddy can’t do that because he’s too busy punishing his naughty slut. Maybe if you behaved like you do around Laon we’d both get what we want.” 

“Fuck..I’m sorry Sir, I’ll be good for you please, please just fuck me.” Yongtae pulled away and inserted the dildo back into you. Minutes passed and then hours and he kept denying you of cumming no matter how many times you begged, no matter how many times you cried. Yongtae was laying under your torso with his legs hanging off the bed sucking on your nipples when you noticed the light coming in through the window. You wondered what time it was but you were too afraid to ask. Your whole body felt numb and your legs were shaking as you felt your knees were about to give out. You knew you were getting a kink in your neck and a pain in your back. Your nipples were extremely sensitive from Yongtae’s mouth and your clit felt like it was gonna fall off. 

“S-sir,” you softly whimpered, you’re voice shaking. “my knees are killing me, can I lay on my back please.” At your desperate, soft words Yongtae stopped what he was doing and helped you onto your back. You sighed at the comfort of the bed. “Thank you Sir.” Yongtae nodded. Surprisingly the dildo stayed in place but shifted a bit causing a set of moans to rip through your throat. Your throat hurt from screaming all night and that last moan felt like someone struck a match inside your throat. “I have good news, I’ll let you cum but you have to count for me.” Yongtae said as he spread your legs apart. He sat in between them and rubbed your thighs with his hands. “Count? That’s it?” you were a little surprised as to how easy Yongtae was making this. Yongtae nodded moving the dildo around in you. “If you can count to 20 I’ll let you cum.” you smiled and began counting. “Faster,” Yongtae said “Faster?” you asked. Why was he asking you to count fast? What was he getting at?

“Oops, you have to start over.” there was the catch. If you stopped counting you had to start over. You sighed and started again. When you got to 15 Yongtae started rubbing your clit really fast which caught you off guard and you stuttered over the next number. “Start over.” he stated. You began crying. You were so exhausted and so frustrated. You were literally seconds away from being able to cum and Yongtae was still teasing you. “Sir, please let me cum, please, my pussy is so sore.” Yongtae’s hands rubbed your thighs. “I’ll let you cum when you can count right. It’s all you this time Princess.” You whined again causing Yongtae to furrow his brows. “Aww, what’s the matter, do you not want to cum?” All you could do was jerk your hips and whine. Yongtae was teasing you and there was no way you could focus on counting with him doing this. “Come on now, it’s only to 20, you can do it. You’ll get a nice reward if you cum for Daddy okay?” You nodded and began again. “Faster.” he said jerking your clit off even faster. You did your best to focus on each number and you finally reached 20. 

“Cum.” Yongtae commanded. You let out a silent scream as your voice gave out, your orgasm catching up to you. Your back arched and your legs closed around Yongtae. You let your body do it’s thing as your eyes rolled back into your head. You hands gripped the sheets and your whole body shook as your walls continued to clench around the dildo. Through your whole orgasm Yongtae kept his hands on your thighs gently rubbing them until your orgasm passed. Yongtae pulled the dildo out of you turning it off and placed one of his hands over your sex until your body stopped jerking. It took a good five minutes at least for you to completely calm down. You were panting and the pleasure you felt was so much better than any other time you had with Yongtae. Yongtae let you catch your breath while he softly kissed different places on your body. Starting with your thighs, your stomach, going up past your breasts, over your collarbone and up your neck til he came to your lips. His lips were soft and felt good against yours.

With your shaky hands you reached up to grip Yongtae’s shirt as his body hovered over yours. “Sir,” you asked breaking the kiss. “Yes?” he asked looking into your eyes. “Do you think, sometime, you could let me play with Gun.” Yongtae just stared at you for a bit before he chuckled and kissed your lips again. “You won’t let that go will you? I’ll think about it. But you’ll have to talk to him.” You face turned red at this causing Yongtae to chuckle again. “It’s time for your reward. You did good Princess.” Yongtae sat on the bed next to you and patted his still hard cock. “He’s ready.” you giggled and got in a comfortable position and undid Yongtae’s belt. You slowly undid his pants and pulled out his cock.

It felt good in your hands and although it was already hard you still pumped it, slowly, making sure to look up at Yongtae while doing so. “Mmm Sir, your cock is so hard and long..and so thick.” You brought your other hand to his cock and started pumping with two hands. “it’s so big I have to use two hands” you giggled. Yongtae reached down and stroked your hair with his hands. Taking one hand off his cock you reached up and moved his shirt out of the way. Yongtae let go of your hair and slipped his shirt off his shoulders just enough to give you more access to his chest. You found his nipple and started playing with it. You rubbed it slowly and you sped up pumping his cock. Yongtae’s head slowly tilted back and his mouth opened a gape. You moaned and raised up just enough where your mouth was even with Yongtae’s nipple. You darted your tongue out and gave his nipple quick licks.This caused Yongtae to jerk into you, pushing his cock into your hands. 

“Are you getting excited Sir?” you asked. Your teeth grazed against his nipple before you pulled it into your mouth. Sucking on it caused Yongtae to lean on the bed and when you pulled away from his nipple he let out a shaky moan. You smiled and went back to giving his dick attention. “I love your cock Sir, it’s so perfect. I love the way it feels in my hands.” You bent down again and placed his tip in your mouth. You slowly sucked on it bobbing your head slightly back and forth and making sure that every time you pulled off you licked his tip.  You continued to whisper dirty things to him that caused his chest to heave. You licked the underside of his cock and that caused Yongtae to reach his hand to your head and entangle his fingers in your hair gripping a nice chunk of it. You looked up at him and smiled while you rubbed his tip with your thumb. “Tell me how good this feels Sir. Tell your naughty slut that you love the way she works your cock.” Yongtae wasn’t responding, he was in his own world. 

“Answer me Daddy.” you growled. At those words Yongtae looked down at you and grinned. “It feels amazing Princess. But I need that whore mouth of yours around Daddy’s cock. Don’t keep me waiting.” You nodded and wrapped your mouth around his tip again. Then you pulled off of him once more and licked him up and down his shaft. You left soft kisses at his base and then moved your lips down to his balls. You kissed them gently and wrapped your mouth around one of them. A low groan left Yongtae’s mouth. “Don’t. Tease. Me. Slut” he growled, gripping your hair tighter. You grinned against his shaft. “But teasing you is so much fun. Daddy.” Yongtae pulled your hair so your head came up to meet his face. He crashed his lips into yours and your hands rested on either side of him, pressing into the mattress. His grip loosened as his hands slipped down to grab your breast again. You moaned into his mouth. 

Yongtae broke the kiss and grabbed your hair again and pushed your head onto his cock. “Shut the fuck up and suck Daddy’s cock with your whore mouth Princess.” You wasted no time at all hollowing your cheeks out as he pushed you down his cock. He groaned loudly as he guided you up and down his cock. He laid all the way back on the bed and brought his other hand to your head and held your head as he face fucked you. His thrusting was fast and his strokes were elongated as his tip hit the back of your throat every time. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes and you started making gagging noises as it was becoming difficult for you to breathe. You tried to pull away from his cock but his grip was strong. You gripped the sheets in your hands and tried your best to breathe. Yongtae held your head against his cock, his tip at the back of throat causing you to gagged. “Fuck!” he shouted. Tears were running down your cheeks and you couldn’t breathe. Yongtae finally let go and you pulled off his cock coughing and gasping for air. Your eyes burned and saliva was dripping from your lips connecting to his cock. 

Yongtae just scoffed and jerked his cock in his hand. “I know you can do better than that. If it was Gun’s cock you’d choke on it til you passed out. Come on slut, make me cum.” You nodded and opened your mouth once more and let Yongtae guide you. His grip this time was a little more gentle and allowed you to move at your own pace. You focused your breathing and opened your throat while breathing through your nose. You bobbed your head faster and faster around Yongtae, his breathing becoming heavy. He was getting close. You pushed down to his base and gagged a few times before pulling off of him again. Saliva covering his cock, precum leaking from his tip. You were out of breath. You grabbed the tip of Yongtae’s cock and pulled it down and held it between his legs for a few seconds before letting it go and watching it spring against his abdomen. “Fuck,” he groaned. Yongtae didn’t talk much when you were making him feel good but you could tell by his facial expressions and body movements that he was aroused and getting close to cumming. 

“You like that Sir? You like the way I suck your cock? Your perfect cock, it feels so good in my mouth, do you like the way your cock fills my mouth?” You went back to pumping Yongtae’s cock. Yongtae’s head was tilted back into the pillow and his back came up off the mattress a bit. “Fuck yes. Yes, I love the way your slutty mouth feels around my cock. I love hearing you gag on this hot cock, the way I fuck your throat, my tip hitting the back of your throat, the way your tears run down your face because you can’t breath. You’re so sexy choking on Daddy’s cock. You make such sexy noises, your such a needy, horny mess.” You moaned at his words. “Hmm, Sir, when are you gonna let me ride your cock and shove my face into the mattress and fuck me from behind til I can’t walk?” You whined out these words feeling really needy. “I need to feel your cock in me, I need you to fill my whore pussy with your amazing cock please Daddy. Please fuck me til I cry, make me cum over and over.” as you said this your hands worked Yongtae’s cock. “Soon..be patient.” Yongtae choked out as you got him closer and closer to his orgasm. 

You whined licking his tip once again. “Sir, you know I’m impatient-” “You say you’re impatient yet you’re teasing me instead of letting me cum.” Yongtae grunted out, his hips jerking up into you. You sighed kissing his cock some more. “If I let you cum can you let me ride you please?” Yongtae chuckled. By now Yongtae and you and repositioned yourselves on the bed, him laying right up against the headboard you positioned in between his legs, your arms resting on his thighs as you gently stroked his cock. “Your cock is so beautiful Sir.” you planted kisses up and down his cock again before bending it to the side to lazily suck it. “It would look even more beautiful if you’d hurry up and make it cum.” You laughed, “who’s impatient now?” you asked getting back on your knees again. “I’ve waited all night very patiently unlike you who wouldn’t behave at all. You were very impatient compared to me.” Yongtae said letting you see the smile that was appearing on his face. You blushed and then finally gave Yongtae what both him and you wanted.

His deep moans and cursing had you touching yourself as Yongtae’s orgasm came close. You matched your moans with his and Yongtae’s hand grabbed strands of your hair, his hands and breathing shaky. “More, faster Princess.” Yongtae was like putty in your hands, you had him so worked up he whined every time you swirled your tongue around his cock. His cock jerked up into your mouth a few times and his grip on your hair tightened. He was seconds to cumming so you sped up, bobbing faster and faster on his cock. Yongtae pushed your head down onto his cock and moaned loudly as he came in your mouth. His hot liquid hit the back of your throat causing you to gag. “S-swallow it..slut.” he weakly stated. You did your best to drink up his juices but he pushed your head off of him too soon and drops of cum fell from your lips onto his cock.

Yongtae sat up and gathered the extra juice from his tip with his fingers and pushed them to your lips. “I said all” he whispered, sounding exhausted. You opened your mouth and sucked his fingers clean while he grabbed your breast with his free hand. More cum had dripped down your chin and onto your breasts when you had pulled out. You went to clean it up but Yongtae pulled your hand away. “Hang on,” he said reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing his phone. “Let me send this to Gun, look at the camera Princess.” you looked up at him, your cheeks pink and tear stained, drool and cum dripping down your chin and collecting on your breasts, your own cum leaking onto the sheets. “Good girl.” Yongtae swiped the cum from your breasts and held his finger out for you to clean once again. “Good girl, come here.” Yongtae placed his finger under your chin and brought your lips you his. His lips and saliva tasted sweet. Your body pushed onto Yongtae and he fell back onto the bed while you to continued to kiss. You were both exhausted so you just laid on top of him while he stroked your hair. “You’re such a good girl aren’t you, Daddy’s perfect slut.” you nodded curling your body into him and watched the sun climb higher in the sky as your bedroom filled with daylight. 

Have a shitty gif I made with tumblr uwu. (I wanna know how to make good gifs tho but for now these will work) Holy fucking shit and a half. That took two weeks? I think. Damn. I honestly wanted to stop after the punishment but I pushed myself to write more. Hopefully it wasn’t too much. Bitch I’m exhausted and Dojin wasn’t even punishing me.

Good things come to those who wait.

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Punisher, Frank Castle x Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+ only Please!

Request: Could I  please request a smut with Frank Castle, maybe Frank has been gone awhile and the reader was worried she wasn't going to see him again? Bonus points if it includes thigh riding, Frank putting his fingers in his girl's mouth and lots of praise kink!

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: this is pure smut, with a bit of fluff because I can't help myself, and it’s the filthiest thing I've ever written which isn't saying much but I'm nervous to post it so HERE TAKE IT!

-

It happens every time, she feels panic from the second he walks out their apartment door, her heart sinks deeper into her chest like a weight. He knows she worries, he tells her not to each time and she doesn't hide the fact that she worries from him. If she had to pretend not to be worried she would feel a million times worse but he's good at comforting her, making the worries disappear until the next time he leaves.

She’s making pasta, stirring the cooking noodles too much, putting too much focus on them like if she looks away for a second they will combust. There are too many noodles for one person, admittedly too many for two. She hates making food for one person it makes her feel more lonely, to stare into a boiling pot of water and see so little food.

The noodles are far overcooked by the time she remembers what she's doing, she hurries to pour the water out and add the creamy sauce. If the number of noodles was a little off then her sauce ratio was absurd.

She pulls the stool out to sit on and it scratches against the already very marked up floor, there is a hum of music coming from next door and it's comforting, being alone and feeling alone but knowing that someone is just on the other side of the wall.

She made enough pasta to last her three dinners in a row, the pasta is long gone by the time she hears the front door creak open late one afternoon, she recognizes the sound of his boots that he never takes off at the door, the sound of his heavy tired steps is music to her ears.

She clicks the tv off and practically jumps over the back of the couch to meet him. He wraps his hands around her sides and she holds his elbows, a simple act so she can still touch him but also keep him at arm's length while she asses the damage.

A single cut across his eyebrow and some hidden bruises are all she finds.

“I thought I was never gonna see you again.” She whispers against his lips before kissing him softly.

He smiles into the kiss, pulling away for a brief second to make fun of her, “you always say that.”

He goes to kiss her back but she walks away into the kitchen, he exhales slowly, saddened by the loss of contact, he follows her like a puppy into the kitchen as she stands on the opposite side of the counter.

“Hungry?” She asks and her voice is so sweet, he can’t believe he's gone days without it.

He hums in response, he would argue, say that all he wants to taste is her lips but he's a man of few words and even fewer arguments.

His job is hard, but being at home is easy, being with her is easy. She takes care of him, takes control of everything that he never managed well on his own. The familiar bottle of Wild Turkey Bourbon stays in the cupboard where it should be until he wants it, unlike before where it stayed at arms reach all hours of the day.

She doesn't even ask him what he wants to eat, she just knows what he likes and in a few minutes, they are both eating sandwiches with too many toppings.

“I don't even wanna ask you what you put on yours,” he mutters as he eats the same sandwich as usual compared to hers which changes every time she finds something new online.

“Marshmallow, Peanut butter, Nutella, all very basic sandwich spreads it's not weird.”

“That doesn't count as lunch,” he teases.

“Well maybe I ate lunch without you and this is my dessert?”

“Oh yeah? Where’s my dessert then?” He asks with a raised brow, swallowing the last bite of his sandwich and then turning in his seat. Before he can get up she’s standing between his legs, he wipes a bit of marshmallow off her upper lip and then licks it off his thumb.

She wraps her arms around his waist and his legs pull her closer by her hips.

It may be the second kiss since he's gotten home but it's just as missed, just as sweet if not sweeter and this time, now that she knows he's not injured and not starving she doesn't let up.

He picks her up swiftly without breaking the kiss and he plans to take her to the bedroom but they don't make it far as she slides her hand between them, sliding her fingers under his waistband and wrapping them around his cock.

He moans against her lips, he was so busy carrying her and kissing her that he didn't feel her hand until she did that.

He stops walking, forgetting momentarily where he was even going, she breaks the kiss for a quick moment, “couch is right behind you,” she mutters and he just falls right onto it keeping her on his lap.

She continues her movements, quick and calculated, twisting her wrist as he kisses down her neck, his hands travelling up her bare thighs lifting her dress slightly so his hands are gripping her ass. He moves her so she’s sitting on only one of his thighs. He wants to pleasure her too, touch her too but he also doesn't want her to stop, she squeezes her fingers tightly around him and he grabs a hold of her hips pulling her down on his thigh making her cry out a string of quiet sultry curses. 

She whispers to the ceiling as her head tilts back, he bites at her neck and she loses focus, trying desperately to enjoy this while also keeping rhythm with her hand.

Her mouth is wide open, eyes closed and she feels a hand leave her hip, the other still keeping her moving against him in a slow but hard pace. His hand travels up her sides, caressing her breast only momentarily before he places his fingers in her mouth, she accepts them instantly, closing her swollen lips around them, bitting and sucking while trying to keep her hand motions going.

He's a mess at the sight, his face flushes and he struggles to keeps his eyes open not wanting to miss a second of her actions.

“You like that?” He asks and she pulls his fingers from her mouth, bringing his hand to her throat, he follows her cue without a word and she feels his wet fingers squeeze gently.

“I think you like it just a bit more.” She teases with a wide smile slowing her motions down as she feels him twitch in her hand and she isn't nearly ready to let him have that already.

“I was about to say you're being such a good girl but now you're talking back t’me?”

“Nonono.” she argues as she lets go of his cock, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and focusing on her own pleasure, riding his thigh as he kisses across her face. “I'm a good girl.” She protests.

“What's my girl want then? Tell me what my pretty girl wants me to do huh?” He asks, smiling against her neck as he listens to her quiet moans.

“You, I want you,” she says all out of breath and needy like as he picks her up, flipping them over so he's on top of her, he lifts her dress over her head to realize she had nothing on underneath.

“You're killing me here darlin’.” He says into the skin of her collar bone, kissing down to her breast and licking the peaks of her nipples making her back arch, pushing her bare center against his cock that's only half out of his pants.

She uses her knees and feet to push his pants down further as he continues to lap at her nipples, sucking the sensitive skin, bitting ever so softly.

“You’re so fucking good to me,” he praises and she keens, a bright smile across her face, a picture of innocence if you couldn't see her shoulder down. The way she wrapped her fingers around his cock pulling him towards her, lining him up and then digging her heels into his back urging him to push inside, which he does gladly.

Her head tilts as far back as she can make it and he wraps his hand around the side of her throat, pushing his thumb hard against her windpipe. She gasps for air with a sly expression across her face. His other hand is being used to hold himself up as he thrusts hard and deep inside her. She keeps him close and it's not long before they are both a few thrusts away from finishing.

He can barely keep himself up as he climaxes, she pulls him close and he falls on top of her. His face in the crook of her neck, hot breaths tickling her sweat-slicked skin.

He hums against her skin there sending chills through her body.

“Such a pretty girl, good girl, love my girl,” he repeated praises against her neck as he shifts pulling her to lie on top of him, making the most of the small space of the couch. 

They lie there, as their chests rise and fall until their heartbeats have calmed down and she isn't even thinking about where he just was or where he will go next or when, just that right now he's here beside her with his slight stubble tickling her cheek and his arms holding her close.

Chapter 4

Warnings: Language, canon typical violence, eventual smut Word Count: 2.8k Link to the outfit I picture Dani in Join my taglist here Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 Tagging: @blue-space-porgs​, @miss-spixx​

Warmth was the first thing I noticed as I stirred from a deep sleep, something heavy draped over my waist keeping me weighed down. I rolled over, burying myself in the warmth, savoring it really since my room was so cold for some strange reason. I must have left the balcony doors open again by accident. I seemed to do that far too often during the fall, but I couldn’t help it really; the weather was just too nice to keep my doors shut. Besides, whatever this warmth was next to me, it balanced the chill out nicely, making it comfortable and certainly more difficult to actually wake up and get out of bed.

Wait. Bed? I fell asleep on my chaise last night. How did I end up in bed? My eyes flew open and I found myself curled up against a sleeping Wolffe, my face nuzzled into his chest. I nearly yelped out loud and carefully tried to remove myself from this potentially awkward situation, gasping when his arm tightened on my waist as I began to slowly wiggle away from him. Oh this was not good, this was not good at all. How was I going to get myself out of this predicament? I waited a moment for him to settle back down into sleep before moving carefully out from under his grasp, my bare feet lightly hitting the plush carpet and I quietly padded over to my wardrobe, my heart thundering in my ribcage as I tried to focus on just getting ready for the day, glancing back with a very slight grin at the sleeping troopers sprawled out on the mattresses.

“Morning.” A sleepy voice spoke up from the bed, Wolffe stretching out and getting to his feet, carefully stepping around his sleeping brothers to come stand near me to talk. “How’d you sleep, princess?”

“F-fine, thank you. And you?” I reached up to toy with my hair, something I did when I felt nervous.

“Best sleep I’ve had in awhile, actually. You alright? You look flustered.” He was grinning now, leaning on my wardrobe with a raised eyebrow and muscular arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes, I’m fine! Ah… I distinctly remember falling asleep on my chaise last night. Care to tell me how I ended up in bed with you? I-I mean, fuck, that didn’t come out right. I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant…” I stumbled over my words, wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole over my poor choice of words. “Goddess, I’m just going to stop talking now.” My face burned hot, a dark gold blush creeping up my cheeks and down to my neck and chest.

“You looked uncomfortable, so I moved you. I hadn’t originally planned on staying in bed, but you wouldn’t let go when I set you down.” He teased me, a playful grin on his face. I groaned, covering my face with my hands, cursing under my breath.

“I am so sorry. This is so mortifying.” I most definitely wanted the earth to swallow me whole even more now. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna… um… I’m gonna go before I make an even bigger fool of myself.” I grabbed some clothes and fled to the refresher, locking the door behind me. Today seemed like the best day to just avoid the man so I could try and get my damn head on straight again. This was just plain stupid having such intense feelings for someone I’d only known for a day. I was going to have to make a little trip to the archives to check into something. It couldn’t have been the matebond, it wasn’t supposed to happen with someone who wasn’t a Fae, and yet… something just clicked, as if we’d known each other our whole lives. That couldn’t just be a coincidence… could it?

The archives will hopefully have the answer I need. This is more than just a silly crush or an infatuation. The bond mark hasn’t shown up, though, so maybe this isn’t a soulbond. I was absorbed in my thoughts, frowning heavily as I tried to recall everything I could about how exactly the soulbond worked. It had been so long since I’d heard the stories that none of the information was coming easily to me. Damn it all, why couldn’t I remember?

Twenty minutes later, after dodging Wolffe as best as possible on the way, I was walking into the archives, coughing a little at how dusty it was in here. Rows upon rows of tall bookshelves filled the large room, while lanterns on the walls gave the room a soft, cozy feel to it despite its enormous size. The books I was looking for in particular were towards the back in a locked book cage for rare and old books, and books that contained knowledge of the lineage of every family in Noveria. I could only hope that there would be some nugget of useful information in at least one of the three books that mentioned the matebond. Any information would be better than stumbling about in the dark like I currently was.

“Let’s see… oh, here we go! Just the books I was looking for.” I stood up on tip toes and took the three books I knew would have the information I needed off the shelf, taking them over to one of the tables so I could sit and read them. “Okay… um… sha, my old Sylvarus is so damn rusty. Let’s see here…” I grumbled softly, making a face down at the pages before me. We rarely used this dialect of Sylvarus anymore, so I wasn’t quite as familiar with the wording and phrasing going on here. This phrase either meant that it was almost never heard of for a Fae to soulbond outside of our people or it was some freaky farm… sex… guide… thing. I was really hoping for the former and not the latter, otherwise I’d have to tear my own eyes out of my head because that is not knowledge of any kind that I needed.

I’m just gonna… set that one aside and try a different book. I closed the deep, faded crimson cover and slid the book aside in favor of a large, black leather bound book with these bright gold embellishments decorating the front cover. This one was thankfully easy to read, most of it written in more recent Sylvarus, though a couple of words here and there had me stopping to think about it momentarily. And yet nothing was pointing me in any sort of helpful direction, it was as if there just wasn’t any sort of information on soulbonds outside of other Fae.

“There you are darling, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! What in the name of Odin are you doing here in the dusty old archives?” My mother took a seat across from me, reaching over to take the two books I’d pushed aside and look them over.

“Looking for some information on the soulbond is all. I… was curious about the process.” I murmured, keeping my gaze pinned down to the book in front of me, heart racing in my chest as I read over the short paragraph over marks left behind from the mate touching the other. I hadn’t had any marks show up, so clearly Wolffe and I weren’t mates! That was quite the relief to be quite honest, that meant these feelings I was having were just nonsensical things that would just go away after they departed! I slumped onto the table, letting out a relieved sigh, much to the amusement of my mother.

“I see, you wanted to find out what you could about your potential matebond with Commander Wolffe. That’s sweet, but don’t rely too much on those old tomes, they’re fairly outdated now.” She took the books, putting them in a stack near the edge of the table. “So we have news for you darling one. You and your uncle will be returning with the Jedi and his clones to Coruscant after the Harvest Festival is over. Your Uncle will be joining their Senate to give our people a voice along with a few representatives of the other courts that make up the Celestial Court. You will be accompanying him to learn what you can and report back what you learn. As far as they’re concerned, we’re sending you along to “broaden your horizons” so to speak, they have no idea we’re asking you to spy on them and find out all that you can about the Republic and the Separatists, as well as how they make their clones.” Mother’s golden eyes were hard, dangerously gleaming as she smiled almost too sweetly, her fangs glinting in the soft lights of the lanterns.

“I… see. Of course, I’ll do whatever I can to find out everything they know and haven’t told us about.” I bowed my head respectfully, averting my eyes from hers. She reached over and patted me on the head before departing, leaving me to sit there in my own thoughts that had quickly become troubled by her plan. I didn’t want to do anything that could hurt Wolffe and the others, but I had a duty to my people and keeping us and our secrets safe. If the Republic or Separatists knew that we could create more Fae from other races, they would either try to destroy us or use us, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Son of bitch,” I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a shaky sigh. This wasn’t where I was expecting my day to be going, but at least I had the matebond cleared up, so that was something at the least. Spying though… it felt wrong and I could just feel a pit in my stomach forming the more I thought about it. “Enough of that, just put the books away and go eat, stop thinking about it.” I muttered softly, forcing myself to get up and put the books back where I’d found them so I could get out of here and grab a bite to eat. Now if I could just avoid Wolffe until I had to depart Ellodeem with them, that would certainly make things easier, or that’s what I was telling myself anyway. I had a feeling this would be a far more complicated situation than it was already turning out to be.

~*~*~

A cold wind snapped my golden skirts about my bare legs as I slipped from the palace into the dead of night, an eager grin on my face as I quickly made my way out to the town, ducking down into a side street lit up with deep purple lights that led the way to a warehouse that was tucked far off from all of the others in the Industrial province. I could already see the flashing lights that just barely penetrated the black paint covering the windows and I was eager to get in there. This was my favorite part of the year, the Festival of Ghosts which happened to fall at the same time as the Harvest Festival this year and there was always a huge party in this warehouse after all of the elder Fae went to bed, leaving us younger Fae to party hard. I strolled into the party, grinning eagerly as some of the door girls pulled me over to paint my exposed skin with glowing silver body paint in intricate designs that glowed brightly under the purple lights. This was the time of the year that I wasn’t a princess, I was just a normal twenty year old looking to have a good time.

“Dani! Here, have a drink,” Ashlyn Amaris, the Court of Dreams princess, came bouncing up to me, a grin lighting up her face as she handed me a goblet of some silvery gold liquid. “It’s kopi’rae! One of our specialties.” She looked pleased with herself when I took a sip, startled by how sweet it was, and proceeded to drain the entire goblet.

“This is amazing! I can’t even taste the alcohol! Let’s get another.” I grinned back, looping my arm through hers and walked over to the bar to order another. While we were getting drinks, one of my favorite bands came out onto the stage, the frontman a Blood Fae that had defected from his court to become a musician. I hadn’t expected them to be here tonight, so I was beyond thrilled to see them getting ready to perform.

“Cute outfit by the way, super sexy. Looking to maybe catch a certain singer’s eye?” Ashlyn joked, nudging me with her elbow. “Or is there someone else you’re hoping will be here tonight?” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully and I rolled my eyes, but laughed at her antics.

“I mean, there is someone I’m interested in, but it’s just a silly infatuation. It’s nothing serious.” I shrugged, watching the band and smiling when the vocalist laid his eyes on me, a grin tugging at his full lips. “Come on, let’s dance! I don’t want to think about men tonight, I just want to have fun.” I pounded my drink back and set the goblet on the bar, taking off to the dance floor as they launched into one of my favorite songs.

I lost myself in the music, swaying and dancing to the beat, Ashlyn and I laughing joyously as we danced. This was exactly what I needed tonight; drinks with wonderful friends and great music to help keep my mind off of everything going on. While it was only a temporary distraction, it was welcome nonetheless.

“Hey, who are they?” Ashlyn was looking over my shoulder, eyeing someone with interest, and I turned to look at who she was referring to, swearing when I saw Wolffe, Boost, and Sinker entering the building. “Wait, is one of them the person you were interested in?” She was grinning from ear to ear now when Wolffe headed towards us after Boost spotted Ashlyn and I.

“If the floor could open up and swallow me whole, I’d be grateful.” I mumbled, plastering a smile onto my face when they got closer.

“You didn’t tell me that he was your mate!” Ashlyn hissed, poking at my back a little.

“What? No, he’s not my mate.” I shot back with a scowl.

“Really? This mark back here says otherwise.” Ashlyn snapped with a smirk, poking at my back once more. “It’s absolutely beautiful, too. All the swirls and that pretty silver coloring to it, it looks so intricate.”

“Oh no. Oh fuck. The book did mention marks could develop slower sometimes. Oh no, no, no, this isn’t happening. He isn’t a Fae, he’s a clone, Ash. This is the first time this has ever happened. I didn’t even think it was possible for a Fae to have a soulbond with anyone other than another Fae.” I was gripping her arm tightly, my chest getting tight as I struggled to catch my breath. Panic was setting in at the thought of Wolffe triggering the bond and I knew as soon as I saw him frown in worry the closer he got, that he was feeling my panic. The connection had been made and nothing could break that bond now, not even death.

“I’ve been looking for you all day. You’re tough to find, princess.” He was staring hard at my club outfit, eyes roving over the very revealing gold and turquoise silken bodysuit with wide eyes.

“We need to talk later. Right now I just want to have fun, drink, and dance. This is my one night of not being a royal, just a normal girl. So either dance with me or go back to the palace.” My tongue darted out to wet my lips, the simple action making Wolffe clench his jaw for a moment, his eyes flicking from mine to my lips. When he didn’t respond, I shrugged, making to go back to the dance floor, and he grabbed my wrist gently, following after me as the band launched into the song I loved the most.

I closed my eyes as I danced, whimpering softly as Wolffe ran his hands down my bare ribs, his fingers dragging goosebumps along my exposed skin while he explored my body, pulling me close to him so our bodies pressed together. Heat blazed a trail down my spine, pooling in my stomach at his touch, the soulbond fully awakening, becoming a raging inferno that was threatening to burn me to cinders. Opening my eyes, I looked up to meet his hungry gaze, swallowing hard at the desire that was laid bare before me; now I understood what my mother had meant when she would tell me the story of how she and my father met. I could feel everything she had described, every emotion Wolffe was feeling, I felt it too. It was overwhelming, too much information far too fast, pummeling into my soul with a force that I hadn’t been prepared for.

“Wolffe.” I whispered his name, clinging to him like my life depended on it. He leaned down, one hand moving from my hips to my face, calloused thumb running over the apple of my cheek tenderly, and kissed me, leaving me reeling from the heady taste of him.

Another Round of Fanfic Asks

Again I know that these are supposed to be asks, but I’m taking a break from editing my latest fic and this seemed fun to do. It’s these questions that I’m doing this time.

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

I first started writing fanfic for the 2012 CW reboot of Beauty and the Beast for Vincent and Catherine. But these fics have since been deleted. I didn’t write fanfic again until 2015.

2. Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

No, I don’t. I would like to one day, but right now, I’m content just writing whatever I want to write, whenever I want to.

3. Do you write fics from start to finish, or skip around?

Start to finish. I need to go in order of events or I get all confused.

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

I create some form of outline. For the most part, I don’t stray, but every once in awhile it will happen.

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I prefer to write in the comfort of my own home, but I can write from anywhere. The only thing is that if I’m writing in public, my back and the screen NEEDS to be facing a wall, so that people can’t read over my shoulder and the screen brightness is turned all the way down.

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

I don’t have an exact number, but it’s a lot.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with the most?

Connecting things from plot point A to plot point B, and so on. This is where writer’s block tends to come in the most.

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

I need background noise while I write whether that be the TV or music. I can’t have silence. But if I’m listening to music it’s either a playlist or a Taylor Swift album.

9. Do you prefer to write AU’s, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

AU’s. I think I would fuck up writing anything canon, especially for Les Mis. I know for a fact that I would never get the voice/language right for writing 19th century France.

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Plot first (I spend a lot of time thinking about it), dialogue second, and exposition third. Exposition is the hardest for me.

11. If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

I love all three very much, but if I have to choose it would be fluff.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet, but really want to?

A story about going away to war, with the love letters, and then the despair/grief when the person you love is MIA and waiting for them to hopefully come home.

13. Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

I’m sure there are, but I can’t think of any right now.

14. If you were stuck on a desert island with only two character, which would you pick?

Enjolras and Grantaire, hands down.

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Enemy of Love

16. What is your most underrated fic?

I personally believe it’s Forever Was In His Eyes.

17. What fic are you most proud of?

My upcoming fic, Beating of Our One Heart, because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

~~~SPOILER ALERT FOR ENEMY OF LOVE! DON’T READ THIS ANSWER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED!~~~

The scene where Thierry appears to Enjolras as a ghost.

Commentary: This was the scene that spawned the whole story. It was always going to be Thierry that forced Enjolras to admit that he has fallen in love with Grantaire. Forcing him to come to terms that Thierry wasn’t coming back. Without this scene, the story would have been incomplete. This is the scene that is probably the turning point in the story. The point in the story where Enjolras lets go of his dead lover, and sets out to earn Grantaire’s forgiveness, love, and make up for the pain he’s caused him.

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character to write about? Why?

It’s both easy and hard to write Enjolras because my version of him is me half projecting myself on him (the easiest part to write) and the other half is making sure to get his passion for his country, people, and his activism in the story (the hardest part to write).

20. This question was originally what’s your favorite minor character you’ve written, but I’m changing it to who’s your favorite original character that you’ve created?

I have three. Casey from Begin Again. Thierry from Enemy of Love. Cameron from Beating of Our One Heart who no one, but me has met yet.

21. What is the one fic that got away?

I’m not 100% sure what this question is asking, but no fic has really ever gotten away from me.

22. Have you cried while writing a fic?

YEP! I cried writing Forever Was In His Eyes, and I still cry whenever I re-read it.

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

Um...I’m not really sure, tbh.

For the next few questions, I’m going to do all of my fics. To avoid spoilers, I’m leaving Beating of Our One Heart off of these lists.

24. How did you come up with title for [x fic]?

Where He Went: The title came from the book, Where She Went by Gayle Foreman (which this fic is very loosly inspired by), so I just changed the pronoun, and voila, I had my title.

Forever Was In His Eyes: This title is a lyric from the song “Cry” by Mandy Moore, but the lyric is originally “forever was in your eyes”, so once again I just changed “your” to “his” and I had my title.

The Enjolras Guide to Weddings and Love: I just took the title of the musical, A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder, and changed it fit my story.

So Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth: A lyric from the song, “The Words” by Christina Perri.

Right Seems Wrong, Wrong Seems Right: Taken from Marius’s line in “Red and Black”.

Somethings Are Meant to Be: E and R were pre-destined mates in this story, so they were “meant to be”.

Poison and Wine: I was listening to the song of the same name from The Civil Wars, and it just seemed perfect for this story.

Enemy of Love: The title came from a quote from episode 22 of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.

I’m Falling, but Who Will Catch Me?: I had the plot planned, so I just took the plot and turned it into a title.

Wildest Dreams: The whole plot is a dream, so...I think that’s self-explanatory.

Begin Again: E and R were being united after years apart, so they are beginning again. Very cliché, but I don’t care.

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: It took forever to come up with a title for this story, but one day I was listening to the song of the same name by Carole King, and it just seemed right.

Never Let Me Go: Grantaire is first with Christian, and then with Enjolras. One of them is abusive; the other is not. Christian is relentless in letting Grantaire go; even though it would break his heart, Enjolras would let Grantaire go if he was asked to.

25. Which idea came to you first in [x fic]?

~~~DON’T READ THE ANSWERS TO THIS QUESTION IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED~~~

Where He Went: the conversation on the Brooklyn Bridge, E and R were separated, and Grantaire was a musician

Forever War In His Eyes: the whole fic came at once since it’s based on A Walk to Remember.

The Enjolras Guide to Weddings and Love: I knew there was a wedding and a fake relationship, that was all.

So Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth: I knew Enjolras wasn’t able to say I love you, that was it.

Right Seems Right, Right Seems Wrong: I don’t really remember, but what I knew was that it contained a teacher-student relationship and a one night stand.

Somethings Are Meant to Be: E and R were mates and they were going to have a baby.

Poison and Wine: Enjolras wasn’t Grantaire’s soulmate, but they still found love in each other.

Enemy of Love: As mentioned above when Thierry came to Enjolras as a ghost.

I’m Falling, but Who Will Catch Me?: E and R going round and round in a dance of pining and feelings for many and many years.

Wildest Dreams: It was inspired by another fic, so I can’t take credit for the idea.

Begin Again: the moment Enjolras realized that the reason Grantaire left was because he was pregnant and the following conversation.

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: Grantaire had amnesia and he and Enjolras were engaged to be married.

Never Let Me Go: Grantaire had an abusive boyfriend and needed to escape him

26. What part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?

Where He Went: keeping the elephant in the room as long as possible as E and R explored NYC.

Forever Was In His Eyes: This was easy for me to write

The Enjolras Guide to Weddings and Love: this too was easy for me to write

So Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth: Again easy to write.

Right Seems Wrong, Wrong Seems Right: Nothing was really hard to write, but I had to grapple with the fact that the type of relationship that is in this story was one that people, as well as myself, deem inappropriate.

Something Are Meant to Be: Not having Enjolras reveal that he loved Grantaire before he was ready.

Poison and Wine: This was pretty easy to write too

Enemy of Love: Enjolras fighting his feelings for Grantaire

I’m Falling, but Who Will Catch Me?: Making Enjolras’s reluctance to be with Grantaire because of fear, and not because he didn’t love him, believable.

Wildest Dreams: Again fairly easy

Begin Again: Again fairly easy.

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: Keeping the dual/alternating timelines straight

Never Let Me Go: the moments when E and R tell each other of their respective abusive relationships

27. If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what would happen?

*Most of these I’ve never thought about what a sequel would be, so...yeah.

Where He Went: A sequel is coming, so I can’t talk about it.

Forever Was In His Eyes: Grantaire being reunited with Enjolras in the afterlife.

The Enjolras Guide to Weddings and Love: E and R navigating the change in their relationship from friendship to romantic.

So Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth: They would still be together, but Enjolras still wouldn’t say “I love you” very often.

Right Seems Wrong, Wrong Seems Right: E and R navigating their relationship now that it’s not a secret anymore.

Something Are Meant to Be: Them raising their sons to the best of their ability.

Poison and Wine: Grantaire finally starting to believe that Enjolras loves him, even though they aren’t soulmates.

Enemy of Love: I have no idea.

I’m Falling, but Who Will Catch Me?: Again, no idea.

Wildest Dreams: Them in a relationship, working toward the life in Enjolras’s dream

Begin Again: A sequel one-shot collection is coming, so I can’t talk about it, either.

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: No idea.

Never Let Me Go: The sequel for this would probably be what would happen if Enjolras’s abuser got out of jail early and him coming after Enjolras.

28. In [x-fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?

*I’m leaving the ones that have definitive sequels coming off this list.

Forever Was In His Eyes: R and E getting to live together in the afterlife. Finishing up Enjolras’s bucket list with the things they couldn’t do before he died.

The Enjolras Guide to Weddings and Love: E and R going on their first date

So Let the Words Slip Out of Your Mouth: E and R having a lie-in the morning after Enjolras tells him he loves him.

Right Seems Wrong, Wrong Seems Right: This one is more takes place in the fic, but you don’t see it, E and R going to IKEA and picking out furniture for their apartment.

Somethings Are Meant to Be: Them introducing Jace to Sébastien (the new baby) that is mentioned in the epilogue of this story after Enjolras gives birth.

Poison and Wine: This one takes place in the fic before Enjolras comes home with it, Grantaire writing his name on every inch of Enjolras’s skin in Sharpie to make sure his name is somewhere on Enjolras

Enemy of Love: The morning after the fic ends, Grantaire spends it drawing Enjolras in the nude.

I’m Falling, but Who Will Catch Me?: The proposal where the promise ring becomes the engagement ring.

Wildest Dreams: Enjolras explaining to Grantaire what he saw in the dream

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?: Their honeymoon

Never Let Me Go: Grantaire finishes moving his stuff from his apartment to Enjolras, then them spending the night christening the apartment that is now officially theirs.

29. Send me a word. If it’s your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic.

Since I have no word, I’m just going to choose a sentence from Beating of Our One Heart to use, but there will be NO summary.

Grantaire arrived at headquarters at 8:45 A.M. with coffee in hand, the next morning.

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

This is a story that I already have a basic plotline for, but I want to do a Prince and the Pauper AU where Grantaire is mistaken to be a French socialite and gets swept up in the world, falling in love with Enjolras in the meantime.

Armageddon Chapter 9 (Dean x Reader)

Title: Armageddon Chapter 9

Summary:  Space. The Final Frontier. But for Dean Winchester, space was the last place he thought he would ever go. His family life isn’t perfect, his job isn’t ideal, but he has (Y/n), the woman he loves. Sam Winchester never thought his life would turn out the way it did. He is divorced, alone, and his brother most likely hates him. Working for NASA was not going to be easy. But, when a threat to the earth has him calling on his family for help, what can he do? can Sam and Dean push past his family issues to keep the Earth spinning another day? Based on the movie of the same name.

Pairings: Dean x Reader; Sam x Jessica

Warnings For this Chapter: Angst, smut, language

Song for this chapter is Open Arms by Journey

Sam was sitting at the same park (Y/n) had been at with Dean just the day prior. He was holding a manilla envelope in his hands with Dean’s name written on it. He was so focused on the ground, he didn’t hear the sound of his own car pulling up by him. (Y/n) got out of the car and walked towards him.

“Sam?” she called as she placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He looked up at her. His eyes looked lost.

“(Y/n)?” He asked. “How’d you find me?”

“I just drove around and I got lucky,” she sighed and sat next to him. “Want to tell me how you’re doing?”

“Thinking.” Sam said, bouncing his leg some. “Trying to figure out if this would make Dean hate me more or make him forgive me for everything that’s happened…”

“Sam, it’s not your fault. And he doesn’t hate you! Your dad… John just really tore him up.. a lot. He was upset about graduation, and I had sent John to get you but you guys never showed.” (Y/n) whispered, “It hurt Dean, he knew you might have been busy, but your dad… that’s a different story.”

“That...that was a bad night.” Sam whispered.

“Sam?” (Y/n) placed her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes, “What happened?”

“N-nothing.” He sighed. “Here.” He handed the envelope to her. “Will you give that to Dean for me after the mission?”

“Sam, you can give it to him yourself, you are BOTH coming back,” (Y/n) placed the envelope back in his hands. “Come on,” (Y/n) dragged him up. “I’m taking you to go see your son. You need it.”

“(Y/n), they don’t want to see me.” Sam told her. She was pulling him up though.

“You are going and that’s final!” She said, “don’t argue with your future sister-in-law… well if Dean doesn’t take the ring back.” She took a deep breath, “so let’s go.”

“He’s not going to break up with you.” Sam said, following her to the car. “He’s been hung up on you since he knew that girls had different parts than boys.”

(Y/n) scoffed, “Yeah, right. He’s mad at me, I know it and… I... “ she took a deep breath and rubbed her abdomen without thinking. “I mean, I just… I can’t lose him Sam.”

“Oh my god.” Sam gasped, his eyes widening.

“What?” she looked around and looked around herself, “snake or spider?”

“Okay, I might not be good in social situations, but I can pick up on cues. And you (Y/n/n), are pregnant.” Sam said. He wrapped her up in a hug.

“Huh? What? Me? No… No,” (Y/n) tried her best at lying. “I’m not pregnant Sam, what gave you that Idea?”

“You keep touching your stomach, but not in a it hurts type way. You’re wearing some looser clothes, and you’re glowing.” Sam told her. “Admit it (Y/n) or I’m not going to see Ashton.”

“That’s...That’s….” (Y/n) groaned, “fine but you tell Dean and I cut your hair!”

“Hey, you leave my hair out of this!” Sam said. “Do you realize how long it took to grow back after Dean’s last prank on it?”

“Yeah, I was the one who helped,” she smirked. “So do we have a deal?”

“Deal.” Sam grumbled. “But man, I can’t wait to see Dean’s face when he finds out.”

“Not until after the mission,” (Y/n) breathed. “He can’t know until he comes back safe, ok? He comes back safe with you, and you can even record it!”

“Okay, okay.” Sam laughed. “We come back and I get to watch my brother cry tears of joy.”

“Or pain, he might dump me when he finds out,” she sighed as she made the drive to San Antonio.

“He won’t dump you.” Sam told her, looking out the window. He had the envelope laying in his lap.

“You didn’t see his face when he looked at me after you left,” she muttered. “He looked at me like I stabbed him in the heart.”

“I’ve been seeing that look a lot here recently.” He turned to look out the window.

(Y/n) and Sam drove three hours to get to San Antonio. She followed Sam’s directions to Jesse’s house and smiled when they got there.

“You ready Sam?” she gave his hand a squeeze.

“No, I’m not.” Sam said. “She’s probably with her boyfriend. She doesn’t want to see me (Y/n).”

“Well you are here to see Ashton more than anything Sam,” (Y/n) gave him a smile. They headed to the door and rang the doorbell. Jessica answered, Ashton by her legs.

“Daddy!” Ashton reached for him. Sam picked him up.

“Sam?” Jessica asked. “Why aren’t you at work?”

“I had some time off, wanted to come see Ashton...and you…” Sam smiled at her some.

(Y/n) waved, “Hi Jessica.” (Y/n) tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear.

“Hi (Y/n).” Jessica looked back at Sam. “Do you guys want to come in?”

“Sure.” Sam smiled a little as he carried Ashton inside the house.

“So, Jess… How are you doing?” (Y/n) gave her a small smiled.

“Oh, okay I guess.” She sighed. “Tim and I broke up awhile ago and I’ve been having to juggle things around. I tried calling Sam, to see if you could take Ashton for a few days, but you must have been busy…”

“Oh…” Sam sighed. “We’ve had a bit of a situation going on and I’m sorry.”

“Not sure how much, we can divulge, I mean I’m sure you saw what happened on the east coast,” (Y/n) shook her head. “it’s …”

“It’s not good.” Sam said sadly. “But we’re going up to fix it. To keep everyone safe.”

(Y/n) walked over to Aston, “Hi sweetie, want to play so your mommy and daddy can talk?”

“Yes!” Ashton said. “I show you my toys!”

Ashton led (Y/n) to her room, leaving Sam and Jess alone in the living room.

“I’m not sure what the directors allowed to be leaked to the news….” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’ve seen some stuff.” Jessica said, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“I...I’m sorry about you and Tim.” Sam said. “You really seemed to like him.”

“Not as much as I loved you.” Jessica whispered. But it was loud enough Sam could hear her.

“Jess… I never stopped… I just thought… we were young and we… “ Sam was rocking on his heels. He wasn’t sure what to say. That’s when Jessica took the first move and kissed Sam. She pulled away after a moment.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

Sam placed his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss. Sam snaked his other arm around her waist as his tongue grazed her bottom lip. Jessica opened her mouth, allowing Sam’s tongue to explore her mouth. They both moaned as they brought their bodies closer together. Sam broke the kiss, and looked into Jessica’s eyes.

“I can send (Y/n) to take Ashton to get ice cream,” he muttered before kissing her again.

“God yes.” Jessica saisd, melting into his arms. “I’ll be in my bedroom.” She walked away from him.

Sam walked over to Ashton’s room and knocked softly, “Ashton? (Y/n)?”

“Hi daddy! We play cars!” Ashton smiled at Sam, showing him his newest car.

“What’s up Sam?” (Y/n) asked.

“Hey buddy, how would you like Aunty (Y/n) to take you to go get some Ice cream and the park maybe?” Sam gave (Y/n) a small blush.

“Oh? Oh. Oh!” (Y/n) said, realizing what he was talking about. “Yeah, we’ll go. I think we could spend an hour out there so you and Jess can talk.” She winked.

“Thanks… and don’t tell Dean...if he calls,” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

“Why?” (Y/n) asked, a little confused. “He’d be happy for you.”

“Please?” Sam begged. “I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”

“Okay, okay.” She laughed. “Go have fun tiger.”

“Come on (Y/n/n), that’s not funny,” Sam sighed as he walked (Y/n) and Ashton to the door. “Be a good boy for auntie (Y/n) ok?”

“Otay!” He took (Y/n)’s hand and walked with her to head to the car. Sam went back to Jessica’s room, where she was sitting on her bed in her underwear.

“Sam.” She whispered.

Sam stripped off everything except his boxers and walked to the bed. He felt nervous as he caressed Jessica’s cheek. It had been a painful two and a half years since he’d been with her or anyone for that matter.

“I won’t break.” Jessica whispered. “Take me Sam.”

“I know, it’s just…” Sam kissed her not wanting to get the words out. Not wanting to feel like a loser.

Pushing her gently on to the bed he began to pepper her body with kisses. He reached behind her unhooking her bra releasing her breasts. Sam took each nipple in his mouth sucking on them making them erect. He continued his exploration of her body hooking his fingers on the waistband of her panties slowly taking them off her.  He spread her legs with his shoulder kissing her inner thigh. Slowly making his way closer, and closer to her awaiting heat. He stopped for just a moment to look at her, almost asking her if it was ok.

“Please.” Jessica whispered. “S-Sam please.”

Sam blushed as he proceeded to like stripe after stripe along her folds.Jessica shuddered at his touch. She missed the way his tongue felt against her flesh. Missed his tender touches and kisses. She regretted ever letting them separate, she regretted the divorce. She gasped when he began sucking on her clit, his index finger gently passing her folds and caressing her cunt. Sam curled his finger, gently massaging her as he pressed gently on her g-spot. Jess felt the familiar sensation as he pumped his finger in and out. Her pussy now slick with how wet she was. Sam had added a second finger making Jess buck her hips begging for more. Sam continued pumping his fingers in and out of her, he could feel her walls clenching around them before she moaned in ecstasy, he could feel her cum on his fingers. His tongue licking and sucking as she rode her high.

“Condoms?” Sam asked as he moved his way up her body, his erection showing through his boxers, a wet spot forming at how aroused fingering and eating her had made him.

“You don’t need it.” She told him. “I’m on birth control.”

“Are you sure? Jess....” Sam was still unsure. He looked at Jess, his heart pounding in his chest.

“It’s okay Sam. I need to feel you.” She leaned up and kissed him deeply. “I need you.”

Sam gently climbed back on top of Jess. He lined his cock up with her entrance. He slowly and gently pushed inside her. His body shivered at the feeling of her around him. He missed her touch, missed the way she felt. He slowly pushed his way in, her gasps and moans making his cock twitch as he fully sheathed himself inside her. He gave her a moment to adjust to him before beginning his thrusts, slow and deep.

“Jess, I missed you,” He breathed. Jessica moaned, holding on to him.

“I missed you too Sam.” The room was filled with her pants and moans as Sam gently made love to her.

Sam pulled her up gently as he took her mouth in hiss, kissing her deeply. Balancing on one arm he used the other to lift her leg around his hip. He continued to thrust into her, his mouth taking in her moans as he felt her cum around him. With a few more thrusts he followed after spilling into her. As Jess milked his cock Sam placed his forehead against hers briefly before laying down beside her taking her in his arms.  

“That was amazing.” She whispered, snuggling up next to him. “God, I forgot how good you felt.”

“I missed you Jess, I really have,” Sam held her close. “I worked too hard, when I should have been home with you more often.”

“Maybe...maybe you could come around more often?” She asked. “Try dinner tomorrow night?”

(Y/n) and Ashton had come back, their laughter could be heard from the living room.

“Jess… I’m on the mission that’s set to launch this week… I’m going up to space,” Sam told her sadly. Jessica set up, looking at him.

“You’re going to space?” She asked.

“Yeah, on of the guys got injured during a training simulation and I volunteered to go,” Sam got dressed slowly. “There’s going to be…”

“I can’t believe I fell for this.” She groaned, heading towards her bathroom. “I can’t believe I let you use me for a quick fuck!”

“Jess, that’s not what I did… I’m not lying!” Sam pleaded. “Jess… listen to me please.”

“No.” Jessica snapped. “I have known you for years Sam. And the entire time I’ve known you, they never once called you up for the space program. You’re a pencil pusher. And now you’ve gotten laid and suddenly you’re going to space?” She shook her head. “Get out of my house.”

Sam closed his eyes, he knew it was too good to be true. He nodded as he walked out of the bedroom door and looked at (Y/n).

“Hey, buddy,” Sam crouched down and hugged Ashton, “Daddy’s got to go, I love you.”

“Love you daddy!” Ashton hugged him tight.

“Sam?” (Y/n) asked. He didn’t say anything as he headed towards the car. (Y/n) saw Jessica come out and hug Ashton before looking up at Sam, shaking her head.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316

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Armageddon Tags: @thefaithfulwriter

Fare Thee Well - - Chapter 11

Summary: She hasn’t seen Gabriel since he died nine years ago, then a phone call changes everything.

Pairing: Gabriel x OFC

Series Warnings: ANGST, smut, swearing, character deaths, PTSD Gabriel, Canon Compliant

Beta’d by: @aquietuniverse​

Words: 6.6k (sorry...)

The confines of the bunker were almost suffocating. The walls seemed like they were closing in tighter and tighter as each minute ticked by on the clock, but Gabriel refused to leave. As much as his brain screamed for five minutes of fresh air, something about walking out that door seemed wrong. He was certain she wanted nothing to do with him, she’d practically ignored him since he’d shoved that blade through Loki’s gut. Had something else happened? Had Loki told her other things about him, things she couldn’t forgive? He thought he’d covered it all, he was always transparent with who he’d been, but that wasn’t to say there weren’t a few things he was keeping to himself. He’d come to terms with her own confession, he knew it was something she never had any intention of sharing with him. That fact hurt more than the secret itself. He’d always wanted to be her safe haven, and for awhile he believed he was, but she was ashamed of herself and no doubt fearful of his response. Deep down he knew that those emotions weren’t completely caused by him but on the things in her past he couldn’t change and the way they’d morphed her psyche and responses. Loving her had never been hard, but it also wasn’t always easy. She was a pressurized bottle of emotion that never let loose, besides occasional slips where just enough steam blew out to shove the cork back in. He just wanted to free her, of everything. Her guilt, her self-consciousness, the way she doubted every emotion she felt. He just wanted her to feel validated and loved, it was all he’d ever tried to do, and he felt like he’d failed. “Didn’t expect to find you in here,” Sam observed as he entered the room, taking a seat across from Gabriel, who remained silent, “You should go talk to her.” “Oh thank you, Captain Obvious, for your wise and unsolicited advice. She wants nothing to do with me,” Gabriel barked in response. Hearing his own voice say that final phrase almost made him sick. “That’s not true.” Gabriel shot Sam an angry glare. What did he know? Nothing. Sam hadn’t heard her that night he’d left two weeks ago, he hadn’t seen the look in her eyes as she knelt at Loki’s feet or the fear when she hadn’t been expecting him in that store just hours before. The list of harms that had come her way because of their association was only getting longer every passing day he was around. Maybe he was just a curse, he had been on everyone else, why did he expect her to be so different? Even if she did want him back, was it even a good idea? Perhaps Loki had been right, he was going to lead her right to her death. Maybe she was better off without him. “Gabe?” her soft, tear laden voice sounded from behind him, sinking his heart to his stomach. Sam’s eyes quickly averted to her slumped form at the end of table. She looked exhausted, downtrodden, like she was one tear away from giving up completely. With a small smile Sam closed his book, leaving the two alone, giving Liv’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he walked off to his room. “Hey,” Gabriel greeted, keeping his back to her, “you should get some sleep. Long day.” It was hard to keep his eyes locked on his pointer finger flicking his thumb, to keep from running and gathering her into his arms, but somehow he managed. He couldn’t take one more melancholy look from her without wanting to shove a knife through his heart. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d be better, but tonight, there wasn’t enough of himself to give. As she stared at the back of his head, she couldn’t help but remember waking up to those unruly golden curls between her fingers. She wondered if maybe it was finally time to bury the hope that those days would live on again. “Yeah… good night,” she whispered sadly, her hope that he’d be following her back to the bedroom falling away. The sound of her boots on the concrete floor grew fainter as Gabriel crunched his eyes shut, his heart aching. He wasn’t sure what was worse, this, or the torture at the hands of Asmodeus. At least in hell he’d anticipated his pain and suffering, but this was a torment of it’s own excruciating breed. “You’re an idiot,” a surly, deep voice grumbled from the hallway, Dean had no doubt just passed a very somber looking Liv on her way back to bed. “Takes one to know one,” Gabriel snapped in response as the hunter took the seat at the table Sam had been minutes before. “She just suffered. For you. Because of you-” “You think I don’t know that?” “Well you don’t seem to care.” “Don’t tell me I don’t care. You have no fucking clue how I feel.” “Sure about that?” Gabriel’s eyes shot over to the man across from him and he was shocked by the pain etched into the normally stoic features. He softened his gaze as he looked at Dean, quelling the anger slightly as he waited for him to continue. “I’ve been in your shoes,” Dean went on, “You think she’d be better off without you. That she deserves more, someone else will be able to take better care of her than you ever could. That no one like her could love you anyway, so what’s the point?” “It’s true, isn’t it?” Gabriel asked, masking the fact that Dean had read him like a book, “I’m just a selfish, winged prick, right?” “Yeah Gabe, you are. But that girl loves you. Only God knows why, but she does. She’s been fighting for you since Ketch dumped you on us. And I think you love her too, a whole lot. Trust me when I say, don’t give her up. Don’t. ‘Cause once you do what I know you’re thinking about doing, there’s no going back. And it ain’t right, and it ain’t fair. You need to let her decide.” “She’ll make the wrong choice.” She’d choose him. “Yeah she will,” Dean affirmed, “but it’s hers to make, not yours.” It would have been a lie if Gabriel had tried to tell Dean he was wrong. That the thought of walking into that bedroom and wiping her memory clean of him hadn’t passed his mind, because it had. While he knew he didn’t have the courage to do it (he needed her just as much as she needed him and he was selfish, after all) the thought had tempted him. “There’s other ways to keep her safe,” Dean assured, as he slid a tumbler of whiskey across the table, “I promise you, there are.” “I’ll help you,” Gabriel promised, shooting back his glass in one pass, “but I do this, and you forget I exist. I’m gone.” “Yeah, deal, whatever you say.” “And you forget she exists too. You leave her out of every other shit storm you two idiots get yourselves stuck in.” “Won’t she be with you?” Gabriel scoffed, knowing Dean was only fishing for the conclusion of the conversation they’d been having, that Gabriel would at least leave her memory bank intact. “Well, this heartfelt chat has made me a little nauseous, and quite frankly, isn’t anything I ever want to do again. So next time you need to let off some feels, go cozy up with my little bro, yeah? He likes you way more than I do,” Gabriel teased, rising to his feet. Dean smiled, a small chuckle breathing out from his nose, “Yeah, you’re welcome.” While he couldn’t say the words, Gabriel looked at the hardened hunter with a grateful gaze. He’d never admit it, but he had helped slightly. As exhausted as he was, she was still worth fighting for, even if meant fighting himself, or fate herself. He’d spend eternity jumping from place to place if meant keeping her safe from anything and everything. She wanted farmers markets and long walks on the beach, and he’d be sure she got them, even if she didn’t want it with him. “Oh and uh, sorry about that whole Mystery Spot thing…” Gabriel atoned as he walked from the room. “No you’re not,” Dean implied, his eyes filled with amused doubt. “No. I’m not. Good night.” There was only one place he wanted to be, but he was still unsure if he was welcome. His feet carried him through the dimly lit hall and he was shocked to see the one room with the door slightly ajar. He remembered it instantly, the black Enochian words he’d written along the walls barely visible through the crack in the door. He lingered outside, a little of his doubt washing away. He knew this room must have brought her a lot of pain, but she’d chosen it anyway. When she’d cursed him for leaving, she’d been surrounded by him still, just as this small piece of him had been with her when she recovered from her vampire attack. He recalled the way it felt to see her again, after all those years, inside those four walls. The gentle touch of her fingertips on him, the way she’d pulled him from that darkness in a way only she could. There was only silence as he built up the courage to enter, no soft cries or angry sobs. He pushed the door open slowly and he knew the sight that would be waiting for him, but it had done nothing to prepare him. She was curled up in the middle of the unmade bed, her knees tucked to her chest just as she did every time she cried herself to sleep. He wondered how many nights had ended like this, freezing and exhausted, her body and mind just giving out after so long. Gently he pulled her up the mattress, laying her head on the pillow as she slowly stretched out her contracted limbs. She remained asleep, a small whimper falling from her lips as he covered her with the thick quilt that had been balled at the foot of the bed. Again, that little sound escaped as she pulled the blanket up over the bottom of her face, turning to her side as she snuggled into a now comfortable position. He didn’t belong here, not yet. With one soft sweep of his fingers he brushed the hair from her face, gingerly tucking it behind her ear. Tomorrow, he’d fix this once and for all. When she woke the next morning, she wasn’t sore and achy like she knew she should be. The bed was warm, the fabric covering her soft. She knew she didn’t fall asleep like this. She was positive. The last thing she remembered was sobbing into her hands over yet again being alone in bed, yet this time hurting even more as the one person she wished to share it with sat right down the hall. She knew herself well enough to know without any doubt she’d fallen asleep in the middle of that bed, just as she had for countless nights before. Had he come in? Tucked her into bed like he always had before, except his time, he hadn’t curled up behind her. Quickly, she leapt from the mattress and put her shoes back on. She needed coffee, she needed air and space and everything that this underground bunker did not have. She was thankful for the sink inside the room, brushing her teeth, running her hands over her knotted hair and throwing it into a plastic clip before running from the room, passing the four occupants of the bunker standing around the mapped table without even a glance. Gabriel watched sadly as she ran up the stairs before throwing the metal door open and slamming it shut. Every time he thought he would have an opportunity, it was just as quickly squashed. Castiel looked at his brother, his eyes full of pity. He hadn’t gotten much out of Liv the day before, but he knew that they were both feeling the same about the other, and how wrong they both were. “You two need to figure this out,” Dean scolded, “We don’t need any extra baggage.” “Oh yeah? So where are you storing all yours then?” Gabriel retorted, his tone dripping with venom. “Just.. go talk to her, or stow it. One or the other. This is a one time shot and I’m not risking it over some lovesick archangel.” With a quick wave of his finger, Gabriel sent the contents of Dean’s mug pouring down his shirt. The hunter jumped as the shock of his scalding hot coffee soaking in through his thin t-shirt to his skin caused him to leap from his seat. His eyes glared angrily as they followed Gabriel as he walked up the stairs, intent on finding where Liv had run off to. Dean was right, it was time to settle this. It was easy to track her after all these years, it was like following a trail laid out just for him to follow. He wasn’t surprised when that path ended at a cozy coffee shop in the small center of Lebanon, her car parked right outside the quaint café. He gazed from a distance at first. He could see her through the window, her head hung low, eyes never lifting from the cheap metal table she sat at. She was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, morose or not. He felt as if his grace itself was reaching out to her, begging to feel her again, needing her in a more desperate way then he’d ever known before. Before he knew it, he’d opened the old glass door into the building, the jingling of the bell attached the handle not even registering with her, chin still tucked to her chest. His throat went dry as he closed the distance between them. Here it was, the moment that would define the rest of his life. “Never took you for a whiskey kind of girl…” his voice quavered as he watched her pour some of her flask into the mug before her. Her throat tightened in on itself as she pushed back her tears, she wasn’t ready for this, “You thought coming here to find me… was a good idea?” she sputtered, “I always penned you for a little stupid, but never suicidal.” “I have a proposition for you.” As her heart shattered into a million pieces inside the cage of her chest, she turned to look at him. His face was soft, his hands in his pockets as he gazed longingly at her. “I wanna take you out…” he continued, his voice quiet. Tears exploded from her eyes and for the first time in her life she didn’t care that the room full of people around her could see. The memories of that first night rushed into her mind, the way he’d made her feel, the things he’d shown her that had been deep down inside of her all along, but only he’d been able to bring to life. “We’ve played cat and mouse for years now… time we bury the hatchet, no?” Gabriel continued to recite, the words falling from his lips like a long memorized play. “Cat and mouse… like I want you gone… not become… the bride.. of Dracula,” she stammered, she could barely get the words out through her sob-choked throat. “To-may-toe, to-mah-toe.” As she tried to regulate her breathing, her eyes stayed locked on him. His hair was a mess, his face hopeful, yet filled with as much despair and longing as she knew hers was, the cut on his cheek already gone, his face as flawless as ever. “What’s in it for me?” Liv choked, finally beginning to feel her bearings come back the longer he was near. “Besides an evening filled with whatever your heart desires? If at the end of this save the world mission, you want me gone… I’ll leave. And you’ll never see me again,” he promised, the words fighting to stay behind his teeth as he feared her answer. “And if I don’t?” “I’ll put a shiny little ring on that finger, marry your temperamental ass and whisk you off to whatever corner of the globe you want to call our own.” That wasn’t what either one of them had been expecting. Her eyes grew wide at his words, mouth hanging open in shock as relief settled into his stomach. He’d finally said it, the thing he’d been thinking for over a decade. He knew it held no bearing in a traditional sense, but damn if he didn’t want to give himself over to her in every way he knew possible. He’d even wear a stupid ring himself if it meant that she was his until their dying days. “How do I know this isn’t a trick?” Liv asked, playing along with his reenactment, but also feeling like this had to be one. “You don’t. But it’s worth a shot, no? Sweetheart, I’ve loved you for a long time,” Gabriel pleaded as he grabbed her mug to take a sip, trying to ease his nervous tongue, but as the liquid hit his lips his face contorted, “is there any coffee in this?” Finally she smiled and he swore the room got brighter. “Not anymore, “ she laughed through her tears, “they don’t make it right.” There was no force from heaven, hell, or anything in between that would change the love she felt for the man before her. He’d always been and always would be, the end for her. He was everything her heart needed, and safety and home. He was grinning now, lopsided and gentle, his stance slightly more relaxed. How such a powerful, unmatchable being would even give her a passing glance was still unknown to her, but she knew it was time to accept it. “Well, I can do something about that, ya know,” he cooed, raising an eyebrow in that way she’d never get enough of. She watched as he walked off, her eyes following him to the counter and she found herself unable to look away. Somehow, he was here again. After everything, her heart felt like it was mending. He returned moments later with two new mugs, finally sliding into the seat across from her, setting what nerves she still had at ease. They were doing this, it would seem. She had the chance to fix it. Quickly, he made her coffee just as she liked, but then added the tiniest pinch of salt to the mug before stirring it all together. “That’s how you do it?” she questioned excitedly. “That’s it,” he quipped as he passed the cup her way, “of course, that doesn’t apply to homemade. That’s my little secret.” It was perfect, just as it always was. “I know you heard what I said that night you left,” she confessed, needing to relieve the guilt, needing him to forgive everything. “I did,” he responded, his voice quiet as he recalled that night in the crypt. “And now you know I didn’t look for you.” With steady eyes he kept his gaze locked gently on her. He knew this was difficult, and while he wanted to tell her it wasn’t necessary, he knew this was a big deal. That she needed to do this for herself. As silence settled between them, he could feel the guilt radiating from her soul, thick and heavy. While he wanted to take the reins and assure her all was fine, he waited for her next words, only nodding to acknowledge her statement. “So why are you even here?” she finally blurted out, gaze finally faltering from his. That answer was easy. “Because I love you,” he concluded, firmly and without a trace of hesitation in his voice. Those four words said more than a thousand others ever could. Simple and concise, they pushed through every barricade blocking him away. This was it, he’d chosen her again just like she had him. As her heart slowed back to a normal pace, she knew deep down that it was his to do what he pleased with. That’s the thing about love, it’s surrendering yourself to someone and trusting them to keep you whole, to help you be better than you were when they found you. He’d mended pieces she hadn’t even known were broken yet broken, things she didn’t know she’d had, but there was discovery there. New emotions, new sensations, the world was a different place when he was around, and it was a world she preferred. If she had another heart, she’d have let him break that one too if it still led her here. “I still should have tried…” she maintained, why she was still trying to convince him away she couldn’t explain, “you deserve better.” “I beg to differ,” Gabriel remarked, watching as she began to shake her head, “I don’t want to fight anymore, Liv.” Not with her, not with Demi-Gods or angels or demons, not against himself or his father’s expectations. He just wanted to live. It had been millennia and he was tired, he could feel it in his bones. A heavy weariness that never ceased, bogging him down like there was a brick attached to his ankle. The only relief he’d felt was sitting across from him now, staring blankly at something right behind him as her bottom lip quivered. For so long, he’d been holding himself together, and now he knew without reasonable doubt that it was impossible for him to do alone anymore. He needed help, he needed her. “We have to help Sam and Dean,” she lamented, reaching across the table and grabbing his fingers in a reassuring gesture, squeezing as she directed her attention back to him. “I know,” he answered, running his thumb over her knuckles, “but after that?” She smiled, his warmth washing through her as she felt herself opening her heart to him again, “Somewhere quiet… and private… and warm,” she began, her mind wandering to all the places he’d taken her so many years ago. “Mmm, I like the sound of this so far…” “Beaches. And good food. Somewhere your eyes will glow in the sunset and a beard…” “A beard?” “Yeah. I want to see you with a beard. Nothing crazy, just, a little something. “I’ll grow you a beard, but what do I get in return?” “What do you want?” There it was again, that mesmerizing little eyebrow tick that had always kept her on her toes. He was mischievous, unpredictable and a little wild, and she loved him for it. His lack of inhibition had certainly loosened many of her own and she couldn’t wait to see what broke free when she was finally released from her self-appointed duties. As she stared at him from across the table, it suddenly dawned on her that he was much too far away, and had been for too long. She saw so much of her Gabriel from ten years ago in the person in front of her now. Clearly, his revenge mission hadn’t been for nothing. As she rose from her chair, she kept her hand locked around his, pulling him up with her before guiding him out the door to her old car parked out front. Almost all of their doubts were left behind at that rusted, tin table, but not all of them. She turned to face him, her eyes sparkling in the sun, and he couldn’t help as his arm snaked around her lower back and pulled her body into his. She didn’t look away, she didn’t even blink. His free hand came to her chin, his thumb and pointer finger gently tipping her chin up towards his. This was it, everything he’d hoped for, everything he’d begged and pleaded with anyone who was listening to give him. He wasn’t going to fuck up this time. The past had been careless, guided by a false sense of invincibility and heightened self-importance. Now, he wasn’t going to take one second for granted, because it very well could be the final one. “I love you, you know,” he whispered, still too afraid to kiss her, afraid of her reaction or rejection. “Did you save me?” she mumbled, her fingers fiddling with the zipper of his jacket, “From those vampires?” “‘Course I did.” Her eyes fluttered closed as his confirmation settled what lingering unease she still felt. He’d always been listening, even after her terrible monologue during her first night at the bunker. He’d saved her, again, no doubt risking himself in the process. She sighed, “Promise me one thing,” as she reached up and curled her fingers into his hair, pulling his face within an inch of her own. “Anything,” he breathed, the proximity to her testing the boundaries of his self-control. “Stay with me.” The tone of her plea was almost foreign to her. It was desperate and pathetic, not something she felt very often. Something about him made her weak, but whatever vulnerability he opened up in her sent a new kind of strength surging through her. Not the kind she needed to fight the monsters that went bump in the night. No, it was the kind that kicked out the ones hiding in the recesses of her own brain and challenged them head on. The kind of strength that made her remember who she used to be, who she wanted to be. “Deal,” he promised, his breath warm on her lips, “but you gotta do something for me too.” “Okay,” she stuttered, her eyes snapping shut. “Trust me. Don’t push me away in that complicated little head of yours anymore. You need to accept that I don’t find you as insufferable as you think you are. And fucking look for me if I go missing. Please.” While he meant for the last part of his request to be a joke, he watched as her face contorted with guilt once again. That was going to take a little while to get over, he realized. He was certain nothing he could say was going to ease her of that burden. The only thing that would heal that wound was time, and he had all the time in the world to spare. Finally, he closed the distance between them and firmly captured her lips with his own, his hand moving from under her chin to her cheek as his arm around her body pulled her impossibly closer. The audible groan of relief that she breathed into his mouth was like a drug, knowing that he alone could pull that kind of response from her was intoxicating. There was nothing gentle about the way they moved against one another, it was desperate and searching and nowhere near enough. All that angry longing she’d kept pent up was releasing into him now as she pulled and tugged on every surface she could reach. “I’m sorry,” she panted as they stopped for air, noses still pressed together. “Me too,” he replied. “Forgive me?” “Yep. Still love me?” “Yep.” “Then that’s all that matters.” Less frantic now, she pressed her lips back to his, their hands relaxing as their fears of losing one other started to vanish. This was real, it was now, and somehow this felt different. There was no where for him to go but here, not anymore. She felt it, too; she could tell there was no restraint or worry in his actions.  No lingering doubt that he may leave remained, all the anxiety from their first reunited outing was gone. They’d fought for each other, and won. “Let’s go,” he urged, reaching a hand into her jacket pocket to pull out her keys. As he climbed into the driver’s seat, he couldn’t help the bubble of excitement that lit up his face, one more task and they were free. She’d clearly already been thinking about it and he chuckled to himself as her request for a beard replayed in his head. That would be interesting. The drive back to the bunker was too long, even though it was only twenty minutes outside of town, their anticipation grew with each passing mile. When they finally pulled up they both leapt from the car, hands finding each other immediately. He kissed her through the threshold, swallowing her giggles down as he guided her through the doorway, the metal stairs clanging under their feet. It drew the attention of the two men in the library, both running with guns drawn to find the source of the noise. “Hey! Hey!” Dean scolded, his face twisting in disgust, earning him a hand of disregard from the angel, “No thank you! You have a room, right down the hall. Please… use it by all means.” “Well you’re no fun,” Gabriel chided as he separated himself from her, “I know you watched my Casa Erotica in full length, Dean, no need to be shy now.” Dean’s eyes rolled as Gabriel grabbed Liv’s hands and guided her down the stairs and past the two men, winking as he went. As the couple passed, Sam eyed his brother questioningly with a small smirk. “Did you?” Sam asked, fighting back his laughter. “What?! No! Of course not!” Dean yelled back defensively, turning to walk away. “He so did!” Gabriel called from the doorway of the bedroom Liv had taken up during her time there before closing the door behind him. Liv clambered up onto the bed, sitting back on her heels as she waited for him to follow her in. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she watched him teasing Dean from the hallway, the thrill of being with him sending mini shockwaves through her entire body. He looked so good in that jacket and tight, thin shirt, his jeans hugging him in all the right places. She felt like a teenager again, overcome with desire and nerves. That first night together hadn’t been like their previous, it was more reacquainting, therapeutic almost as he readjusted to life outside the confines of his tortures. She wanted him again, the things he’d done and the ways he’d made her feel had always been unmatched. She finally seemingly had him back and she’d be damned if he wasn’t keeping him. “You’re a work of art, sweetheart,” he praised, sliding his jacket from his shoulders. “I’m a mess, half drunk at 11 AM, pretty sure no one’s looking at me,” she chastised, furrowing her eyebrows but still smiling. Gabriel clicked his tongue, “More for me then. Come here.” Quickly, she leapt from the bed to stand in front of him, her eagerness very apparent and it made him laugh. Sometimes she was so inherently pure it made him forget how deadly she could be. This was definitely one of those moments. His hands instantly came to her shoulders, running down the length of her arms before sliding over at her waist, grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head. Enough time had been wasted already, and he was just as eager as she was. As her arms were coming back down from above her head, she pulled the plastic clip holding her hair in place, letting the messy brown waves fall down around her face and shoulders. His breath caught in his throat, she was one of the only things that had ever left him completely speechless. Slowly, he leant in and pressed his lips to hers, her arms circling around his neck loosely as she returned his kiss, her smile growing with each peck and brush. As his hands danced along her torso, he again ran his hands along the raised skin of scars and keloids that were scattered along her skin. He knew she hated them, but he didn’t. His mouth traveled downwards, following the path from her jaw, to her neck, down the valley of her chest until he was forced to his knees to continue. He kept his eyes locked on her face, reveling in the way her mouth fell open slightly as her breathing grew heavier. Never in his life had he ever felt so wanted. Thumbs dug into her hips now as he continued his showering of physical praise along her stomach. “What’re you doing?” she laughed, his lips tickling her slightly. “Reacquainting,” he exhaled, dragging his nose along her skin as he responded. When he pulled his eyes from hers to look at the part of her that was directly in front of him, he explored the new bumps and pink lines. He ran his fingers over each one, his lips following behind them. Her chest constricted as she bent to hug his head, it was awkward but she didn’t care. She buried her face in his hair as she fought back her tears, every other being on this planet would have been taken aback by her hacked appearance, but he cherished it. He worshipped it, making every one of her flaws seem like a damn treasure. Finally, she fell to her knees and met his affections with her own. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled him back to hers, her kisses harder and filled with intent. He could feel the one tear that had escaped onto her cheek pressing into his, and he brought his thumb between them to wipe it away, cradling her face with his palm. They stayed like that, kneeling on the hard stone floor, too enraptured with the other to even care where they were. It felt like a decade had separated them from their last time. Even though they’d been together since, it wasn’t like this. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she whined, pulling on the collar of his shirt. “Well do something about it then,” he challenged, helping her by undoing the buckle of his belt. In one quick motion she ripped his shirt from his head, standing as she did and he followed. They fumbled with each other’s jeans, giving up and removing their own themselves before clashing back together. Her skin was cool against his, but she was the farthest thing from on the inside. It felt like molten lava was running through her veins as his chest pressed against hers, she didn’t even care how desperate she seemed now. He pushed her gently onto the bed, climbing up in front of her before leaning forward and guiding her down to her back, his lips devouring hers again as her head hit the pillow. One hand slipped down between them, his fingertips barely brushing against her, her skin erupting into goosebumps at his feathering touch. His breath was shaky as he exhaled loudly through his mouth, his whole body was trembling in response to finally being here, and doing this again. She responded immediately when his fingers began rubbing lazy circles over that bundle of nerves he was so well acquainted with. He knew just the pace and pressure she needed, even after all these years. She groaned as his finger dipped inside of her, gripping his elbow tightly holding him in place as he dragged slowly in and out. Her mouth was hung open as choked gasps escaped, he knew he hadn’t been able to give her what she’d needed two weeks ago, but he was making up for it now. “Gabe,” she sputtered, wrapping a leg around his back and pushing him towards her, he knew what it meant. Obeying her wish, he leaned up and guided himself into her, sinking in slowly until his hips were flush with hers. It was his turn to groan now as she surrounded him, it never got old. She responded with a sloppy, teeth clashing kiss, her tongue shooting into his mouth as she began lightly jerking her hips, urging him to move. He did, craving that friction just as much as she was, craving everything that was her. Slowly, he ran his hand down her thigh before grabbing behind her knee and turning her to her side, him mirroring her position in front of her. The new angle caused her mouth to hang open in a silent scream, breathless and blissed. He was moving against her perfectly, hitting every spot she needed touched simultaneously and she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this good. His mouth teased at her lips and throat, nipping ever so slightly as her own were unable to respond to his ministrations, and it was only riling her faster. Gabriel was in awe of the perfection writhing in his arms, her responsiveness to every brush of his fingertips, every pass of his mouth against hers. He drank down every sound and fulfilled every twitch and physical plea as he worked her further and further towards release. When it hit, he gazed in complete reverence and wonder, still somehow unable to believe that he even got to have this with her. That out of everyone in the world she chose him, again and again. “I could watch that all day,” he sighed as she floated down from her high, the euphoric look on her face rousing him even more. She laughed, her eyes still closed, “Shut up.” “Not bein’ funny. Watching you ride that high I put you in… you’re filthier than the seven deadly sins combined. And I would know, I think I’m the root of a few of ‘em.” Her laugh filled the room as he rolled her to her back again, his own body demanding movement. She wrapped herself around him, staring up at him with eyes of adoration as he began pushing into her again, this time a little harder, more determined as he chased his own end. “I’d tear apart Heaven and Earth for you,” he confessed, burying his face into her neck. She was already in an emotionally vulnerable state and his words reverberated through her, his vowing devotions only sending her deeper into it. Her brain wasn’t working right, everything was short-circuiting as he clouded every one of her senses. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, her body heightening again as his pace grew more erratic, more desperate. “Tell me I’m yours,” he pleaded, his breath hot against her neck. “Fuck…” she whimpered, barely able to form a coherent thought, “always.” It wasn’t enough, she knew that, but it was all she could muster and she hoped he understood. Of course he did, and he groaned in relief as the panicked thought that she was done with him finally disappeared. This was it, forever now. He sat back onto his heels, wanting to see her fully before this was over. “I can’t…” he faltered, she knew he was losing control. Liv arched her back just enough to change the angle to help him find his release, and he did, throwing his head back in ecstasy as he gave in to her completely. The grip on her hips softened and his chest heaved as he stilled, his chin dropping to his chest as he tried to regulate. “Got your groove back huh?” she raved, running her hand along his chest. “Think so,” he agreed, leaning down to plant messy, exhausted kisses along her neck, “I mean… that was pretty good.” “That was good.” For the first time since she could remember she laughed from deep within her chest, unbridled and genuine. She could feel his own hot against her chest as his forehead was pressed against her, his head tucked under her chin. With a regretful groan, he pulled himself from her and collapsed beside her on his stomach, his arm draped over her stomach and his face nuzzled softly into her neck. She wrapped her arm around him, fingers drawing lazy shapes on his back, holding him close as his warmth and familiar embrace almost immediately lulled her to sleep.

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