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yurababy · 1 year

Note

hi i saw you are taking requests! <3 can u do svt reacts to s/o pretending to dodge their kisses 🤭

personal note; i think i’m doing DLIS in age order for the most part. kinda wanna do shua last before the final jeonghan. also idk if reactions are strictly supposed to be like dialogue written like a fic excerpt not the author talking typa shit but i already typed this all up so m sorry ♡

cheol

↳ pouty but also tilts his head a bit, staring you down, making you rethink what you just did. so you go to kiss him fr and he leans back to dodge you this time with a raised eyebrow. "you did this to yourself. don't be mean to me, baby." he stays like that for a bit as you protest (“you do that kinda thing with me all the time!”) but his dimples give in and you’re suddenly engulfed in his arms and kisses (“do you think i’m too mean, y/n? be honest. i’m only mean because it’s funny.” you love it, but you can’t tell him that so you grumble and keep kissing him. he knows your answer.)

jeonghan

↳ scoffs but isn't as unforgiving as cheol. kisses you everywhere but your lips and does that "ha ha ha ha" giggle everytime you whine and try to get him on your mouth. “where’s the fun in that, angel?” but he likes a brat, so you give him, “aren’t you supposed to be the angel, mr. cheonsa?” a darker, drier chuckle than earlier when his lips are finally on yours, but it’s just held contact. no kissing. you’re excited for his response. “wonwoo wanted the nickname, actually. i had to have something sweet in me so i was born on the lucky day. don’t let it fool you.”

shua

↳ laughs in the moment as you end up kissing him. all seems fine but he saves the thought for later. you're about to have his dick in you but when it should be it isn't. "i can see why you pulled that stunt earlier. it's fun, isn't it? and to think you haven't even said sorry yet." no protesting with joshua, you forgot, mouth opening to talk back but you’re met with a glare and figure it’s better not to piss him off. he wasn’t even angry, this was just him being a hot little shit.

junhui

↳ kind of imagining him in the know thyself gose when seungkwan yells at him and he just sits there open mouthed going YAH. you would just giggle at him and say something about how cute he is when he's mad, giving him his kiss. when you parted, you watched him blink slow enough for the wide smile he had before his eyes shut to close into a smirk as they reopened. “xiǎoshǎguā. we both know i always get my way in the end.”

hoshi

↳ baby kitty eyes when he doesn't feel your lips on his. also in pout but in the way he was when mingyu locked him up uring dont lie 2. that only lasts for like a second though becuase he immedietly just goes for it again by holding your face this time. baby kitty turns into sexy tiger, mouth trailing a lil further to the side, a lil further up until he can growl (this bitch) and have you feel it in your cunt. “i like it better when i play with you. what do you think?” no room to answer. you make out for twenty minutes.

wonwoo

↳ i don’t think u’d get the chance to do that. he will always steady you with a big hand firm on your neck, teasing your hair, thumb on your cheekbone. i think wonwoo is much more clueless and giggly and silly than most ppl who think he’s super quiet n mysterious (he WANTS to be mysterious it’s so endearing) think so while you’re trying to dodge he just thinks the position is uncomfortable and keeps his eyes closed, pressing further into your face. “are you doing that on purpose?” he acts like he’s just discovered the worlds greatest mystery. and you let him have it, because it’s wonwoo.

woozi

↳ lets you pull away, thinks you’re seriously not into it until he sees your failed attempt at hiding a smile and he brushes your hair out of your face. “what was that for, being annoying? i wanna kiss you, babe.” you look away, feeling the tiniest bit of guilt because how did he sound so in love? why was he a secret master of manipulation? was this from all the nights he spent writing the loveliest of lovesongs? “just wanted to see what you’d do,” you admit. he likes the honesty. “that’s a weird game to play. wouldn’t you rather just kiss me?” (BABY, YOU KNOW WITHOUT YOU IM SO LONELY)

dokyeom

↳ genuinely confused and it’s just too adorable so you relish his big eyes and shut him up with a kiss before he can question the rejection. this earns a big smile from him, interwining your hands as he speaks: “feeling playful today, hm? i can do that too, baby.” that means as you make out you repeatedly feel a hand brush closer and closer to your inner thigh, an overexaggerated sigh from the boy (laced with a giggle because he can’t take himself seriously) and eventual sex full of you making fun of him. (“all i did was not kiss back! you’re just passive aggressive, seokmin.”)

mingyu

↳ makes that like disgusted pout face if you guys know what i’m talking abt. you laugh and lean back in to kiss him but he crosses his arms and turns his face without saying anything. you know he’s not really mad, he’s just a huge fan of short and sweet kisses, the domestic kind throughout the day, so it hurt a bit. mingyu is a tiny bit of a people pleaser so all it takes is for you to sneak yourself under his folded arms and plant a kiss to his neck for him to comfortably wrap himself around you and kiss your forehead. “i love you,” is really all you have to say to bring him back. “i love you more.” he’s so husband.

minghao 🥳

↳ not a fan. i’m back with the minghao-craves-attention agenda. doesn’t want to actually talk abt how it hurts his ego so he rolls his eyes and walks to your bedroom. you follow him, a bit worried (he’s not toxic, just cherishes his time with you above all else so he finds this kind of thing a waste of it) but he warmly greets you with a closed-lip grin, sat on the bed. you take your chances and walk towards him, kneeling on the floor so you’re under his gaze. a finger lifts up your chin, affirming your eyes on his. “we can deal with the kiss later, love. make it up for me?”

seungkwan

↳ "that’s not fair. i always kiss you back! i do more than just kiss you! i barely initiate kisses! you know how much thinking i had to do to do that just now?” he has the most serious expression on his face, so for his sake, you stifle a laugh. not very well, though, because he follows with “you’re laughing? i’m pouring my entire heart out!” “okay, kwannie, my turn to give you my heart.” “that’s not what i-” he’s cut off with a chaste kiss, you pulling away because you know he’s a bit flush but he returns his frustrated face and tilts his head to the side (a habit of his) before pulling you onto his lap. “you don’t deserve this.”

vernon

↳ furrowed eyebrows. thinks it’s the wind (????) so he tries again but the corners of your lips have lifted and you’re dodging his lips again. he tries a third time, earning the same turn of your head, but he’s quick to get ahold of your jaw while your giggles turn into something like shock, surprise, interest. his lips near your ear, leaning in for the heat of his breath to send a chill down your spine. “what the fuck’s up with that?” then he’s pulling away, making a face you’d usually snap a picture of and save as a vernon_funny_reaction.jpg file, except that was so hot and his eyebrows are suddenly raised, his lips are stretched wide, and his eyes are squinted. you fuck in a bit.

chan

↳ he’s used to this kinda teasing, he’s learned to handle it by playing it off as a joke. at the same time, he knows he’s showered with love after the bullying from his members, so he expects the same from you. his index and thumb go up to tug at his earlobe, a chorus of “yeah, whatever. no, that’s fine by me!” picked out from your laugh. “i just thought it’d be funny, channie. let me kiss you for real.” “no! trust me, i’m fine! i think you’re the one who wants to be kissed. desperate much? i’m absolutely okay.” but you know what makes him happy, praise from an oh-so genuine voice that puts his eyes through the phases of the moon. “yes, chan, i do want to be kissed by the best kisser in the universe.” he wants to do a bit more than kiss, wants to be a bit more than the best kisser in the universe, but he’ll take it. for now.

#seventeen smut #seventeen reactions #svt smut

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shelobussy · 3 years

Note

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

#susan pevensie #the chronicles of narnia #the problem of susan #narnia #meta #narnia meta #susan meta #ash does fandom #ash does meta

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kaaytea · 4 years

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So how about Lev, Tsuki, Kuroo and Oiks with a really short and shy s/o. (I'm 4'9 so all i want is for someone to pick me up from under the arms like a cat and carry me on their shoulders 👉👈🥺) - Bug Anon

Jsksndk ✨this~✨

Short s/o

⤷Includes: Tsukki, Kuroo, Lev, and Oikawa

----------------------------------------------------------

Tsukishima

I'm sorry but this is Tsukki, he will clown you

No one else is allowed to tease you about your height tho, he will actually end them with some back handed comment

He's the type where if you walk up to him during the day and start talking he'll kinda ignore you a bit then be like "oh sorry, I didn't see you down there"

He’s so mean about it but at the same time he loves when you ask him for help

He makes a big show about being annoyed that you need him to grab something off the top shelf when secretly it's his favorite thing

Thinks it's the funniest thing when you try to kiss him

Like it's not gonna happen you're way to smol to reach his lips

He'll torture you for a bit but eventually he leans down so he can kiss you

Sorry but he rests his arm on your head a lot 😔

Is probably happy that you're a bit shy bc it's easy to fluster you and he vibes well with people that lean more introverted

Living with tall people is actually the worst, like whY does Tsukki feel the need to put all of your favorite mugs on the tOp!! Shelves when he knOws you can't reach them

You know it's fine, you're used to this and have become a champion counter climber 😌✨

So that explains why you were currently kneeling on the counter reaching up for a mug at 10 pm

"What the hell are you doing?"

".......getting my mug? What's it look like silly"

Why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to put yourself in dangerous situations so much?

Kei sighed and walked over to you, he grabbed your waist and pulled you down from the counter then reached up and got the mug down

"You need to stop endangering yourself when you could literally just ask me to help you"

"I wouldn't be endangering myself if you stopped putting MY things on the high shelves!... I swear you do it on purpose sometimes"

He definitely does it on purpose....but he'll never tell you that :)

Kuroo

God he loves you

Kuroo is such a huge dork so expect him to fawn over you

He won't tease you toooo much like he occasionally will hold something out of your reach to watch you jump around trying to get it back

But he really just appreciates you as you are 😌

Kuroo is used to shy, introverted ppl so he's not bothered by it at all

As long as he can hug you he's happy

He LOVES to rest his chin on your head!!

If you're still too short for him to do that he also LOVES giving you back hugs, so either way it's a win win

You were watching Tetsu practice spiking, most of the team had left, only a few stragglers remained trying to get in some extra practice

You were very content with your spot, you were out of the way and happily sat swinging your legs back and forth. Plus you had a pretty good view of Tetsu and Kenma from your bench meaning you could soak up the pure joy that radiated off your boyfriend

Tetsu looked over to see you watching

"Wanna try spiking, sweetheart?"

"Tetsu, I don't think I can even jump high enough to see over the net"

"We won't know until you try~"

I mean he was right...I guess it couldn't hurt

And ya know he looks really cool when he spiked so maybe you'd look pretty cool too!

You walked over to Tetsu and gave Kenma the ok to set the ball for you

You jumped up and you actually hit the ball!!

But the ball didn't even make it past the net 😭

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"

"No no you did really good!... You uh... Looked very cute?"

">:(("

"Here do it again I wanna try something"

You sighed, he was just setting you up for failure so he can watch you make a fOOL of yourself again

Kenma set the ball and you jumped up

ONLY THIS TIME YOU KEPT RISING

NDKDNDK KUROO IS REALLY LIFTING YOU UP RN SO YOU CAN SPIKE

You hit the ball and it shot to the ground with a satisfying slap!

"THAT FELT SO COOL!! I FEEL SO POWERFUL!!"

"Yeah you sure look intimidating having me lift you up so you can look over the net"

"Let me have this moment, Tetsurou"

Lev

If anyone were to pick you up like a cat it's this kid

He is lAnKy and you being smol?

He will pick you up....you physically cannot stop him

Likes to lift you up and spin you around when you come to visit him at practice

It usually ends with you being pretty dizzy and Yaku kicking Lev for treating you like a cat

Lev is pretty oblivious to what he says, specifically to people that are shorter to him

He might say something that’s a little rude and unknowingly offend you but he really doesn't mean it

Like it just doesn't click for him that there's a chance he's being insensitive

Just remember that Lev would never ever hurt you intentionally and if he realizes that he hurt you he'd probably panic and continuously apologize to you for the next week

I feel like Lev would compare your hand sizes a lot. He thinks its funny how much smaller your hands are compared to his he gets this funny feeling in his chest whenever he does, you’re just very tiny and cute

It seems like wherever Lev goes he always finds a cat

It's very odd

You were walking around a park for a date when he suddenly stopped at a tree

"AH A CAT WE HAVE TO HELP IT!"

"......It's pretty far up there Lev, I don't think even you can reach it"

"We can't just leave it!!! Quick get on my shoulders!!"

What

How did this happen?

Correction, How did you let this happen?

You reached your hand out to the orange cat sitting on the branch, it slowly made its way in your direction

"Did you save it?"

"almost, move a little to the right"

That cat gracefully leaped into your arms and started purring

Ok maybe this was worth it bc this cat is really cute🥺

You and Lev ended up playing with the cat for a bit getting it to bat at some leaves

The cat even followed you guys for a bit and you see it every so often on your park dates

You named it apricot

Oikawa

I hate to say it but you know that feeling you get when you see a really cute kitten or puppy?

Yeah that's how Oikawa reacts

You're just.....tiny and he has this overwhelming need to hold you

He honestly loves that you're short

Oiks is, surprisingly, pretty tall. Like man is pushing 6'0 so having a small s/o just makes him :))!!

Oikawa doesn't mind your timidness, he thinks it adds to your charm!

Boy friken loves when you hide your face in his chest

Also king of piggy back rides 😌

He will carry you everywhere if given the chance

You were walking back to Oikawa's place

He just finished practice and it was a Friday so he insisted you come over for a sleepover

Yes he still calls them sleepovers, let him live it's cute

You were walking down the street, hand in hand, and the sun had just started going down painting the sky with warm reds and oranges

To be honest you were kinda tired so you started dragging behind a bit

You took a nap while you waited for Seijoh’s practice to end and you only woke up maybe 15 minutes ago? So you were kinda in that weird state where your awake...but not very aware

"(y/n)-chan?"

"huh?"

"Did you not hear what I said?"

"no....I'm sorry Turoo I'm still a bit tired"

":0!! I can't have my precious s/o wAlking if they're tired!"

He just scOOPS you up bridal style and continues walking like it's nothing

I-

Huh I mean sure I guess, if you really insist Tooru

You wrap your arms around his neck for more stability and he sneaks a kiss on to your cheek

"Won't your arms get tired carrying me?"

"Oh please, you're as light as a feather"

😳 ig Volleyball training has it's benefits bc he really can carry you everywhere and never get tired

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mashiraostail · 4 years

Note

who do u think r the biggest simps??

eigFJKD THIS ASK IS SO FUNNY TO ME THANK U PUT IN ORDER FROM MOST TO LEAST SIMP LIKE I PROB FORGOT PPL BC ITS LIKE LATE LATE BUT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS AHSLSEDS

1.) Hizashi: THIS MAN IS SUCH A SIMP IT’S PRESENT MIC I DON’T CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT THIS MAN IS SUCH A FUCKING SIMP!!! I can’t explain it honestly i just...i can so picture him being the biggest idiot for his s/o he’s always looking at pics of them and staring at them when they’re around and he’s gonna compliment everything they do period. Like aw the way you sit is so cute, aw I love how you twirl pencils with your fingers when you’re trying to focus, aw your stutter is precious. And god even a tiny CRUMB of kindness from you will put him on cloud nine. Oh you like his jacket?? Okay, he can happily die now. He has pretty eyes? Excuse him he has to go cry in the bathroom. The sappier you get the easier it is to get your way. . He gives so many gifts, little stupid things that make him think of his s/o but also big extravagant gifts tht always leave them totally flustered and embarrassed. Biggest simp. Simp of the year.

2.) Sekijiro- Sorry but.. Vlad king supremacy?? Idk why he’s such a respectful simp I just get those vibes from him. Like he’ll do anything his s/o asks, need something lifted? Ok he’ll be there in 5 minutes. Oh need help reaching something? Sure thing whatever you need. Had a bad day? Oh no well come sit here with me and we can talk about it or watch your favorite movie if you don’t wanna yet! This man loves love, if he gets hurt on the job, or has a bad day all he’s gonna wanna do is curl up with you and get all the kisses and loves and back rubs. If he’s having a bad day he’s def gonna sit around daydreaming about you. His phone bg is def either a pic of you together or just a pic of you, he has a lot of pics of you and he enjoys them very much. It’s always your way, you have to beg him to just tell you what he wants sometimes, and no ‘whatever you want babe’ isn’t a valid answer!!! sorry not sorry about it!!

3. Toshinori- GOOODDDDD THIS MAN IS A SIMP. He’s totally stupid in love w his s/o the minute they meet. He’s all blushy and stupid and smiley at them and he’s always paying little tiny thoughtless compliments like ‘oh you have really nice hands’ or ‘you’re always so helpful (: I’m so lucky to get to work with you!’ He’s just happy to be around his s/o and he’ll do whatever they want. Shopping? Sure he’ll tag along. Got a bunch of boring errands to run? He’ll keep you company. Need to do a ton of house work? He can help! He also loves giving small gifts, and any matching thing on the planet will make his heart soar, rings of course, but also bracelets, key chains, mugs anything this man will want it. If you say a song reminded you of him he will listen to it on loop for weeks. He’s totally fantastically infatuated and it’s such obvious puppy love too.

4. Taishiro Toyomitsu- PLEASE again this man is a major simp gentleman. He holds doors he gets you flowers he cooks you dinner he talks about you all the time. Seriously all the time. Tamaki probably knows your whole life story by now all he does is brag about you. Complete a slightly difficult task? Everyone Taishiro interacts with is gonna know it. Even the villains. If he ever does an interview you’re getting brought up. He doesn’t care how much he has to bend over backward to do it, he’s gonna talk about you or he’ll perish. When you’re together it’s kisses and hugs all the time, he barely ever walks by without giving you some form of kiss, and god the amount of times this man says ‘i love you’ in one day, hell one hour, should be illegal.

5. Kugo Sakamata- he’s not a super simp BUT he is still a simp, and the nicer you are to him the more simpish he becomes. If you have a normal comfortable give and take dynamic that’s good with him, but if you’re ever very affectionate with him he’ll be total putty in your hands. The longer you’re together the worse it gets. He loves gift-giving and there truly is nothing you can’t have. If you want it then it’s your’s Kugo doesn’t care, why would he? If it’ll make you happy then you can have as many as you want. So all in all, may not be a super simp at first but you can def mold him into one.

6. Keigo Takami- He doesn’t simp at all in the beginning, he’s actually an annoying little turd. But the longer he spends with you the more infatuated he becomes until eventually it feels like going 6 hours without a kiss from you is majorly pushing it. Tokoyami has heard about every accomplishment you’ve ever made from your job to how quickly you did the dishes the night before. He has seen a thousand photos of you and probably knows you really well if he for whatever reason hasn’t met you. Because Keigo is always stopping to visit on patrols, or begging you to come to see him at the agency for lunch or just a quick hello if you’re going to be passing through. When he gets to know you all he wants to do is make you feel good.

7. Aizawa Shouta- people probably wanted him higher on this list but idk he doesn’t scream simp to me. In public he def does NOT simp, he might stare at you a little too long if he isn’t expecting to see you and he’ll always smile back if you smile at him but don’t expect him to plaster pictures of you everywhere and constantly talk about how much he loves you because that isn’t his style. In PRIVATE though?? This man can simp for the right cause. And sir can this man SIMP. What do you want? A bath? Okay I can do that. Your favorite food? Sure that’s easy. Massage? You don’t even have to ask! He likes the effect he has on you, watching you get flustered and melt at his affection is something he starts to really enjoy the longer the pair of you stay together.

8. Mirai Sasaki- At first he doesn't simp, but once you hit a few milestones he’ll start. He likes making you laugh, and seeing your smile is at the top of his priority list, he has tons of photos of you smiling and if anyone is having a bad day he’ll think of some silly story about you to tell to cheer them up. Like others, his intern, Mirio, has heard all about you and probably knows you really well. He probably made it a point to introduce you after working with Mirio for a while. Mirio probably sees you as a package deal at this point.

9.Nemuri Kayama- Girl does NOT simp. You simp for her and you like it that way, periodsm!!! No actually though at first she also doesn’t simp at all, she doesn’t care, she can have pretty much anyone she wants so if you don’t like her then you can pack it up and find someone else. But the longer you stay with her the more she starts to warm up to it, she likes seeing you happy, so going the extra mile even if it is a bit much for her is something she’s going to start doing more and more. She’ll remember all your favorite things and give you random gifts. She’ll take lots of photos of you to keep for herself and she’ll send you plenty of her own. She starts to also find a lot of comfort in you and will be looking for ways to spend time with you.

10. Enji Todoroki- I aint explaining this. Mans aint no simp.

#aizawa shouta #hizashi yamada #nemuri kayama #yagi toshinori #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #kugo sakamata #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami #hawks #aizawa shouta x reader #present mic #present mic x reader #bnha hc #headcanon #bnha requests

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whiterbone-a · 3 years

Note

i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome. take a seat and thank you for joining me. if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting. they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun. also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder. he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should. hes very patient but very honest. a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another. i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly? theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no. it’s funny now that i think about it, shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him. he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou? there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable. i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his. on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship. hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself. hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance. his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this. he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh. you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can! they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell. i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this. i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego; to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc. he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change? absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards. like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass. tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much. getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations. gojou? not so much. nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement. gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time. it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village. hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind. thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait. i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about. if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually. i can’t say, i can’t say! just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship! this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it! i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

#jupitersnake #tldr its cute in concept but reality they just dont suit each other but #im a sucker for opposites attract so catch me all over the nana/go tag baybe!!!!!!

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movedkagen · 3 years

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NATSUO TODOROKI STUDY / MASTERPOST .

This is also mostly ripped from discord so if it’s choppy that’s why ---

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DOMESTIC ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, LOSS OF A SIBLING, ANGER ISSUES, BODY PERCEPTION ISSUES.

Natsuo is loyal. Literally he loves his family so much. like between natsuo and fuyumi, fuyumi has the stronger quirk 100%. Natsuo HAS an ice quirk but he can only freeze things that fit into the palm of his hand...so all he does is make the cola nice and cold before his siblings drink it.

So Natsuo wants to be a family practice doctor and he wants to do outreach work. Pretty much his coping mechanism with being ignored and hating being home is he threw himself really hard into studies, and just did his HW all night in his room. To tune out the yelling anf the negligence. He got good enough grades where he got into University of Tokyo which is good but like basically he almost didn't go bc like.

his relationship w enji is nonexistent. He was an immediate failure in his eyes, he literally SAID enji didn't look him in the eye ever until recently....he never rly saw him or hung around him. and then like. by the time touya was starting to rly get shit / by the time he was "dead" and shouto got burned and rei got sent away natsuo was only five or so. So to Natsuo? enji was just the guy who lived in his house and ruined his life basically. he hated him. he didn't love him at all. He’s hated him since he was a small child. NATSUO WILL NEVER FORGIVE ENJI AND HAS NO DESIRE TO.

Me and Inad have discussed it but because fuyumi is the only girl, Natsuo is the true middle child. The one who was never looked at or spoken to by Enji. And FUCK ENDEAVOR STANS for saying otherwise, but natsuo ISN’T “the only child who wasn’t abused” or the one who “should be the least angry”. Negligence IS child abuse.

As a kid, Natsuo had a stutter. He acted like a baby for a long time. He was also chubby as a kid -- ate a lot to cope. He was always bigger than Touya, and it continues into adulthood --- Natsuo is now. thick / buff. He was a chubby kid growing up, but now he works out and has muscle however he still also stress eats bc premed is hard and gains like 15 pounds during the school year, then loses it during breaks. it's just the way his body is. This is relevant because Natsuo does have extremely low self esteem -- he thinks he’s very plain looking, that his body is big and awkward and ugly (I have him as growing to be 6′6″ at his full height, taller than Enji), and it all stems from Enji’s negligence. At his core, because of his father, Natsuo believes there is absolutely nothing special about him and that physically and personally he is a worthless person.

Natsuo has anger issues unfortunately (as we’ve seen) but does judo to let it out. tbh he storms out of the house a lot because he doesn’t want fuyumi to see him fucking lose it.

me and inad discussed this but but natsuo HAS put a hole in the wall before and Like he was maybe 15 when that happened. it scared the shit out of fuyumi and he felt so upset he literally like. ran away for two days and when he came back he cried rly hard and promised she would never see him lose his temper like that again, so he storms out so she doesn't see him angry. It was the summer before he started high school and as soon as he got into high school he started getting into judo and joined the club for it and that's been his outlet ever since. And whenever he storms out of the house it’s to go do that. He's ashamed of reminding her of endeavor somehow. he knows he’s got enji’s hairstyle and body type, and that contributes to why he hates his appearance so much.

The reason he never brings his S/O around his house is honestly that... he doesn’t like himself when he’s home. ppl love 2 say natsuo has the least right to be mad because enji didn't "abuse him" but don't realize negligence is abuse. it's literally classified as abuse. he was literally born thinking his dad felt he was a disappointment to the point where he didn't talk to him or let him talk to his youngest brother and it HAS an effect on him. natsuo has a lot of self perception issues, he thinks he's ugly and he panics if he doesn't do things perfectly in school and just. is very easily made to feel inferior and puts himself down. he doesn't consider himself special at all. He believes he lacks intrinsic worth as a human being.

Natsuo only went to college after his sister told him to go and do what he wanted to do…I promise you he was going to not go at all and was going to stay home with her until she told him she wanted him to go. BECAUSE natsuo doesn't rly consider enji a member of the family at all, natsuo has this goofy lil quirk where he thinks he's the "man of the house" even tho he asks fuyumi for help with basic things!!! most of the time it's funny but it's honestly just him being protective of her. And natsuo does cope with some perceptions of toxic masculinity --- he’s NOT abusive at all himself, but he’s goofy in the sense that he thinks he has to be the New man of the house, has to take care of his sister, has to never cry or show weakness, all because he’s male.

ENJI TAKES NO PART IN PAYING FOR NATSUO’S TUITION. He doesn’t even agree to go until Fuyumi insists she will use her own money to pay for it, and Natsuo works and studies because he wants to pay her back for every cent someday. Endeavor DOES NOT EVEN KNOW natsuo’s current address or which exact school he attends. natsuo wants it that way, but it’s also important to note that Enji never bothered asking.

Honestly Natsuo and Fuyumi probably argue a lot about endeavor, But that’s okay because they still love each other. Natsuo knows fuyumi puts everyone above herself and rly wants her to be happy, which is why.......frankly.....he’s glad kenta barreled into their lives. Because he’s like this is something Just For Her and I hope she likes him and it works out.

continuing on natsuo hates heroes and he hates his dad and frankly if he had a strong enough quirk he would have probably become like dabi. he really would have and he truly hates endeavor that much.

sb: so u agree with stain? natsuo: idk i just want someone to kill my dad.

Natsuo doesn't forgive endeavor, doesn't fuck with him, and blames him for everything that went wrong in his family. He honestly wants him to die! and he HATES the hero industry bc a literal monster like his father is praised and rewarded and they HELPED COVER UP TOUYA'S DEATH!!!!

and like with natsuo + touya.... time for pain. “Touya told me everything” / “I still hear his voice constantly” ... i think about those quotes always every time i think of natsuo. natsuo was the closest with touya and I truly believe that. He loved him more than anything . He really loved touya so much and he never got over losing him.

kinda like inad hcs fuyumi saw shouto in the kitchen, i think natsuo saw touya last bc the way he describes touya telling him.... natsuo is shaking when he says it like. That shit traumatized him. And he’s just so angry. He did not leave touya. They had to PRY NATSUO OFF OF HIM. Because natsuo is loyal.

like me and inad hc that fuyumi wouldn’t tell Natsuo where rei was for years because she knew even at 9 years old, he would have snuck on a bus to see her. Natsuo is so loyal to his family he loves them so much. He would have done anything for them. He wouldn’t have left Touya. He wouldn't have let touya go without him there. Not anywhere he couldn’t follow. Not even as a child.

and natsuo would NEVER be able to juxtapose that dabi isn't touya. I think the first time he saw Touya he would know but it wouldn’t be like. An instant look. He’s probably seen clips of some of the shit he’s done on tape and it’s always given him this unsettling feeling. But then he looks in his eyes...and he knows his eyes.

I always picture it like Natsuo forgetting however dangerous the surrounding is and chasing after him, he doesn’t even know why he’s running; he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against him. But he sounds like a child again when he says “Touya?”. He sounds like the annoying, chubby little brother that followed him everywhere. And yeah, he would simply need that confirmation that Touya is alive to take his side because he knows more than fuyumi did. Simply seeing him alive again, and I think he’d know EXACTLY what Dabi wanted to do with Enji.

Dabi trying to scare Natsuo and Natsuo just “Touya cut it out talk to me” / “Touya I’m on your side” and it’s because Natsuo could never EVER see Dabi as a monster once he knows it’s Touya. I don’t think he could ever feel fear based simply on the fact that he loved him that much. Touya was his favorite sibling he followed him around like a puppy and copied everything he did.

Touya is the sibling he was closest to and i think the same in reverse since Natsuo is the one Touya vented to. I think fuyumi was probably really shocked when they were kids and Natsuo would suddenly say he hated enji. that he wished he was dead. She’d gasp and be like "Natsuo!"

But he’s HATED HIS GUTS since he was a little kid. He didn’t grow to resent him either. He basically didn’t care about him/was afraid of him when he was super super young, but the moment touya’s quirk didn’t work out and he was like what, 7-10? I’d say like 7 or 8 when shit started just Not Working. Natsuo was probably 4 or 5 when his own quirk manifested and was weak. Had this initial “why doesn’t dad like me” phase, but Touya just told him once something endeavor did to him or why his skin is starting to scar, and Natsuo instantly went from fear to hate. There was no build he simply hated him from that moment on. That’s how loyal he is!

He said he hated endeavor for the first time when he was five, but anyway i think a lot abt how natsuo like.... has the least ties w them all. That's why I say he’s a true middle child because he doesn’t have anything he’s good at that binds him to the family or makes him especially important to anyone. Like...he CARES about and loves shouto of course but i think if fuyumi weren't there natsuo wouldnt be in the picture at all. He just wouldn’t talk to them. Especially before he started talking to shouto? Absolutely. After now that he talks to him he would definitely stay to hang around him but before?

unfortunately because enji KEPT SHOUTO AWAY FROM THEM i think about how natsuo probably had what inasa felt where he saw shouto's eyes and saw endeavor and like. kept up that distance because of the trauma (tm) and i think when shouto got some friends and got out the house he tried talking to natsuo and natsuo was like "wait...me? you're...talking to me?" and like as soon as shouto started trying to talk to him he was rly receptive and was like shit i have 15 yrs of info to catch up on.

but i rly think that's their relationship bc he literally didn't even know what kinda food shouto liked until now?? but he loves himand has become instantly very protective of him and once again things that because he’s the big brother he HAS to teach him things and be his “positive figure” and frankly I think shouto feels a little thrill whenever natsuo openly shittalks their father because out of all of them natsuo IS the one who hates him the most openly.

#* HOWL » saved.#OK THIS IS THE OTHER ONE.

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laughing-with-god · 5 years

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My Kpop Unpopular Opinons

The ‘K’ in Kpop is there for a reason....

It stands for Korean. Not American. I might be the only one who gets annoyed by how much Kpop groups are outsourcing to America. Mainly BTS since they got the farthest. But it honestly has become such a poisonous thing to me. I am half Korean and my family is very patriotic of their beautiful country. And it’s almost a colonization mindset or cultural appropriation to take a countries’ gem (such as Kpop) and demand it be taken over to YOUR country, to demand that idols learn YOUR language, to say that because Bts got praise in America they MUST be the best Kpop group. Is America the only country that matters? Should new Kpop groups try hard to appeal to Americans while their fellow Koreans take a back burner? Why can’t you let Korea have its own thing and enjoy it without trying to make it into something that’s easier for you to digest?

Stop Supporting Youtube Channels who are Using Kpop for Clout

The Talko, Watch mojo, Reaction channels and even fucking TRISHA PAYTAS. Youtubers be using Kpop for clout bc they know it’s gotten popular lately. But you hoes are the demand to the supply. STOP GIVING THESE HOES CLICKS. on a regular day, you’d hate a fake fan but are all ready to watch some YouTuber who ran out of ideas use BTS to get some views. And the info that The Talko And Watch mojo use isn’t even groundbreaking! They’d be like “did you know that Suga’s real name is Yoongi?” sis....no. Support Kpop news sites that actually are about the Korean industry as a whole and not just getting your view by using BTS.

We need to talk about the Kpop industry being ‘problematic’ and ‘slave contracts’

Idols signed up for this lifestyle. They signed up for restricted freedom, dieting, practicing a lot and working almost 24/7. Am I saying it’s right? Not necessarily...I think if an idol is fainting, very underweight and not getting their 8 hours every night then obvi the company/management needs to be handled. But we need to calm the witch hunt for some companies bc your oppa/unnie is fully aware what their career entails. And instead of coming for SM or any particular company, strive for reformation of the whole industry.

Idols are sometimes problematic....and we need to call it out

This is mainly aimed towards the problematic comments some idols have made about skin tone. I’ve seen a lot of people become upset by Wendy’s blackcent or the blackface history of Mamamoo’s past and they have every right to be. A lot of fans come to their defense and say things like “in Korea, pale skin is valued more than dark skin. (Idol name) just didn’t know better.” Well...if they didn’t know better then we should teach them better! And don’t attack other fans who are genuinely hurt about the comments/actions. I watched an unpopular opinion video and they said “people who are quick to call an idol problematic are annoying.” I’m sorry but who are you to tell someone what they can and cannot be offended by? Esp when there are TONS of black/dark skinned Kpop fans whose very skin was just insulted....

Anaylsis videos/posts about your fav otp is problematic.

Calm down. It could be real and it could not be. I already talked about this on my blog before so I’m not gonna beat a dead horse. But you’re forcing a narrative to satisfy your little fantasy.

BTS SHOULD GET MILLITARY TIME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

In Korea, every man has to serve millitary time. It’s downright disrespectful to cherry pick a guy bc he’s famous and exempt him from his duties. Really? How the fuck should the rest of the Korean male population in boot camps feel that Jungkook got to skip his time bc he just so happens to have tons of fangirls who want to hop on his dick? Does fame get you everywhere? Is that the message you want to spread? Disgusting. If I see that in my feed, I’m blocking you hoes.

2NE1 and Big Bang ran so BlackPink and Bts could walk.

New Kpop fans want to act like Black Pink and BTS invented the fucking wheel. Wrong. Big Bang was a big inspiration to Bts and they were part of the first bridge between the western world and Kpop. Without Big Bang, Kpop wouldn’t be as big in America/other western countries as it is now. And if that didn’t happen, then Bts would loose the majority of its fan base now. And black pink is literally a copy of 2ne1, it’s not the girls fault but YG itself who knew they lost a big girl group. 2NE1 literally invented the girl crush concept and also made big leaps in the western world. Give credit where it’s due. Thank you, next.

Seungri shouldn’t have quit being an idol, he should’ve quit his businesses.

His businesses were the reason his whole scandal began. I’m not saying I was going to support him if he continued making music but like to come out and say “everyone, as punishment I’m quitting being an idol instead of the businesses that actually caused all this drama!” is the most un self-aware response.

If you stan one group, you aren’t a Kpop stan.

Korean Pop. Not BTS pop. Not BlackPink pop. Not EXO pop. Sis.....it’s like saying you know Spanish bc you can say ‘hola’. That’s a MOLESCULE to what the genre actually holds.

Big Hit not Allowing girl trainees is highkey sexist.

Yes, I’m aware of what happened to the one girl group that came from Big Hit. But honestly that’s a funny excuse. One bad thing happened and now he’s gonna ban all females? I remember this tweet that resided with me about the Empire actor faking a hate crime. It said “If one faked hate crime is enough to make you question and judge all the others....it’s almost as if you were looking for an excuse all along.” (Paraphrased.) all I’m saying is all women aren’t evil so why are the rest of inspiring girls wanting to be an idols getting punished?

Ladies, we need to treat our fellow women better.

I want to see more support for girl idols. I want us to raise them so they can be at the same level as some of these boy groups. I know we find Bts, Got7, NCT, Exo ect to be very handsome and charming but we shouldn’t abandon other women for the sake of pretty boys. Let’s hype them up. Girl groups can be talented too and we would want support if we were them. Feminists where are you when we need you??

NCT’s concept is a flop.

People don’t wanna stan a group whose members are endless and always changing. We want a group that we can relax with, grow with and truly form a bond with. This is unable to do when we constantly are seeing new faces and trying to remember names.

(This is not at all forced on anyone but I want to see some ppl’s unpopular opinions. @goldngguk @chimchimsauce @yn-dere @yeollie-yeollie if you guys wanna share any pls do, I’m all ears and tag me in it.)

#kpop #bts #bangtan boys #bangtan #big bang #big hit #blackpink #sm #yg #unpopular opinion #just a thought #kpop opinons #2NE1 #exo #NCT

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pockpop · 6 years

Text

sunset,sunshine | lee felix

➵ summary: being the first black idol from one of the big three is already a challenge, but dealing with felix and feelings? it seems even harder.

➵ genre: fluffy, angsty, cutesy cringe ish

➵ request(s): (1) hello luv ❤ if requests are still open, may I ask for a Felix x y/n fic where y/n is part of the upcoming jyp girl group with survival group ( like stray kids) and she's the first biracial (black & korean) artist from the big 3 ?? oh and y/n is a fellow crackhead Aussie too lmao. thank you!

(2) hello! may i request a felix x australian!reader fic where y/n is the maknae, main dancer, main rapper, & vocalist of a unique girl group that like produces and writes songs, like skz! ( they also don't do basic concepts like cute and sexy). but the gag is... reader is the 1st black and korean idol! reader is a w a l k i n g meme and very 4d, which ppl rlly like!! lmao she's also a fellow 00 liner, and since her and felix have a lot in common, many international fans ship them together! thank u!

➵ a/n: ermm I got these requests a WHILEE back and I honestly just didn’t know how to go about it? but it is finally here and I’m so sorry for how late it is and a complete foolery mess but I hope you like it anons and I hope this at least makes you smile cause who doesn’t love them some felix okay?

sept.15.2018 | 3:06am

masterlist

••

you bopped your head to the music blasting through your headphones as you bounced down the brand new halls of the new jyp building. your sneakers squeaked against the floor as you bowed to the staff you passed and waved to a few friends you had made so far as a new part of jyp’s company.

but people recognized you everywhere you went and called you ‘jyp’s experiment’ because technically, that was what you were. the agents talent scouted you, more for your great musical abilities than your mixed race, and instantly you had become a trainee for jyp.

but that was over two years ago, and now you were officially a debuted idol in one of the newest girl groups,the first black and korean idol of the big three, so of course there was much talk in the kpop world of how much you were going to change it. you could produce, write your own songs, dance,sing, and act a bit, you were a triple hit and people called you trouble. not that you didn’t mind.

it was pretty early in the morning and so as you came to the dance practice rooms, some were still empty but a few had occupants. you were passing one of the rooms when a head of orange hair caught your eye. immediately backtracking, you glanced through the small window of the door to see felix of stray kids practicing alone.

you had only met him in passing a few times but he mostly kept your conversations short and brief,always smiling that gorgeous smile of his. he always practiced around the same time as you and you always wanted to have at least conversation but you just didn’t know how.

people always said you were a pretty open person and extremely a mess, a walking meme so to speak, but felix was different. he was australian just like you and you both struggled with korean coming to the country, so there was common topics,but he was always gone before you could start.

you watched him glide across the floor, his movements so effortless and sharp. he knew his balance and it was as if he connected to the music in a way you had never seen before.

you wanted to watch him for a little bit more,but you wanted to go over a few parts before your members got there. but right as you were about to leave, felix suddenly looked back directly at you,’catching your eye. embarrassed,you slowly backed away and quickly tried to walk away but instantly you heard the swift opening of the door.

“it’s rude to stare you know,” you heard his accent loud over your music. you were wondering if all the times he could’ve actually made conversation, why now when you looked like you just rolled out of bed and was staring at him hardcore. you turned around and scoffed, waving him off,”it wasn’t staring, it was admiring a fellow artist,”

felix smirked glancing down at his sneakers, then back up at you, sweat dripping down his forehead. “admiring? hmm I don’t think that’s the word for it,”

feeling how warm your cheeks were getting, you turned to leave,”g’day sunshine, mama’s gotta go!”

“see ya later peeper!”

you gasped turning back to him and the moment he began to laugh at you, you narrowed your eyes at him.” listen up sunset looking head ass boy, you trying me too early in the morning,” this insult only made him laugh harder and soon you broke into a smile just at seeing his face light up the way it did.

he finally calmed down to say,”you’re actually funny when you’re not rushing to get away from me. you know, as fellow aussie’s we should get to know each other.”

“hmm yeah no, i don’t become friends with boys that still use the word peeper,”

rolling his eyes, felix leaned against the door handle,”fine, admirer, let’s hang sometime later if you’re not busy.”

tilting your head at him as you backed away slowly, you hummed in thought,”I might take you up on that offer, I think you might be funny enough to roll with me.”

“I might be? oh girl you have no idea,”

and that’s truly how your friendship with felix grew. he hated being called sunset sunshine head by you but allowed you to do it because he thought you were cute. plus you spoke your mind, always tagged him in memes and did fortnite dances with him on the roof of the jyp building, without a care in the world.

even though your mini album was done, you were still working. you wrote lyrics, produced music, having the positions of maknae, a main dancer, rapper, and vocalist at times, you had a lot on your plate, but felix came in clutch with sending his memes of the day.

but international and korean fans eventually caught on to how close you two were.it truly wasn’t a secret that you both would make entire fools of yourselves backstage at music shows and the cameras caught it all. international fans truly went wild for it,some korean fans as well but not everyone was very happy about it and didn’t keep it secret.

»»

one late night, after a music show performance, you returned to the studio to work on a new song you had begun to write. but after getting stuck on a line, you ended up just reading some comments online because they truly were your guilty pleasure.

“y/n and felix are a whole ass mood,”

“she’s annoying,”

“omg what if felix and y/n are secretly dating and end up like edawn and hyuna?”

“I can’t stand how weird y/n is, sorry not sorry.”

“if felix is interested in someone like y/n, I feel sorry for him.”

“y/n is a happy virus and felix is our sunshine,can they just be together already?”

you were still scrolling, immersed in the comments that you hadn’t heard felix enter the room. it wasn’t until he approached you, his cologne catching your attention.

“creeping on me again, sunshine? you are still failing to scare me homie,” huffing, felix sat beside you and spun in his chair,”i wasn’t trying to scare you, I thought I told you I gave up on that after you punched me in the face the last time.” you pursed your lips before nodding,”you tried to get me while I was coming out of the bathroom, mama always said you gotta be cautious ya know?”

felix rolled his eyes and smiled at you,”aren’t you supposed to be working on something important?”

“aren’t you supposed to be resting before another show?” you counter question and he shrugs, shrugging back, you continue.”I’m just reading some comments about us,”

“they are by the thousands, don’t read them,”

“but some are so cute! people actually ship us together! funny thing is we barely text with words, our friendship is literally in memes,”

felix smirked, his eyes dancing in the dim light of the studio.”meme king and queen, we should be crowned.”

“you’re obviously the queen though because I definitely have more balls than you,”

“says the girl who can’t even look at sloths without crying,”

“but they are cuddle bugs! a animal made for cuddling! totally beats humans any day, fight me.” felix giggled, sitting up to lean forward on his knees.”i don’t know why I like you, you’re so weird.”

you tilt your head at him and he realizes what he said and his eyes widen,”wait-run that by me again?” a smile curling the corners of your mouth. but felix was panicking,”chan is calling me, gotta blast!” he was out of the studio before you could get another word out of him.

but he just confessed to liking you. was it like-like? or just as a friend? you weren’t sure but it made you feel happy inside.

»»

“wait- so how did he say it?”

groaning you out down your fork, less interested in your taco salad. “nina, I’m not repeating it again, it’ll be for the fourth time! he said he liked me.” nina, was a member of your girl group, half cuban and your best friend.

“but y/n,” she whined,”context is important! I mean he does talk about you a lot but you do the same about him too so- wait, do you like him?”

you shrugged and glanced around the small restaurant trying to avoid her sharp hazel eyes.

suddenly, she gasped, her hand smacking the table and making many people look over to you two.

“you do like him! damnit! I should’ve known after you made a literal moodboard of meme felix faces!”

“that doesn’t mean anything!”

nina narrowed her eyes at you and made a stank face,”the only time you ever did that was for pepe and kermit and claimed you only made meme moodboards for your current crushes.”

pouting, you crossed your arms,”dang it nina, stop paying attention to things I say! I was hoping you would forget about that.”

“yeah well I didn’t. so why don’t you just tell him? the boy probably is goin’ crazy thinking you don’t feel the same,”nina said going back to stuffing pieces of chicken into her mouth.

“you know you’ve got to chew it, right?”you ask as she inhaled the chicken, she held her hand up to you and ate even faster before she choked on a piece and cried because she had to spit it all out. you didn’t let her know that you had gotten it all on camera and already getting screenshots for meme pictures later.

»»

the next time you saw felix in person, he was leaving one of the dance studios just as you were leaving a producing room. it reminded you kind of when you guys first became friends.

you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad and reminiscint about the fact that you both went from talking all the time and walking to the building together to nothing. you knew he had been avoiding you by the lack of memes and strings of whiny texts.

you saw him before he saw you and thought it was now or never.”hey stranger danger,” his head shot up at the sound of your voice, his fading orange hair was wet from sweat, sticking to his forehead, reminding you of fading sunset light. his jacket was slung over his shoulder as he was mid-singing through his duffel for his headphones.

“oh hey, dude.”

“you really are going to dude-zone me? the disrespect I feel is abundant,” you say in mock hurt, touching your chest. he broke into a smile and glanced down at his shoes.

“like I really was out here about to tell you how I like you and all and how your freckles remind me of the stars and your hair the sunshine but no-“

“wait really?” his face lit up in shock, his eyes going wide. biting your lip, you rocked on your heels.”yeah, yeah you know but if you don’t feel the same anymore it’s cool.”

felix shook his head,” feelings don’t disappear that fast y/n, I just didn’t know what to do when I accidentally confessed.”

“you could’ve just waited like two more seconds and I would’ve been like yo dude, I like you two, let’s reign as the meme couple and slay these hoes.” felix began to laugh again and you smiled seeing his face brighten as he did. his smile and laugh was seriously your favorite and you shamelessly stared at him.

“well, if that offer is still on the table,”he started as he walked closer to you until you had to glance up to see him better. “then I would happily reign with you,” you giddily rocked back and forth and smiled at him.

“well yeah cool, I would give you a little peck and all but you is a sweaty mess and if you touch me we gonna fight so I suggest you back it up like ten feet.”

“what? you don’t like me like this?” he teased trying to sexily run his fingers through his hair but it only made you laugh at him.

“do that again and I’m leaving you for kermit,”

“right, what can that frog do for you that I can’t?” you both began walking side by side, hands brushing but no one making a move to hold hands.

“I’m sure he is limited in many ways but that frog be banking so,”

felix rolled his eyes at you and swiftly leaned down mid walk to peck your lips,leaving you shook for a moment.”he ain’t as cool as me though.”

shyly you smiled at him and continued to walk,”damnit sunshine, back at it again with the cheesiness.”

••

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #poc kpop #stray kids imagines #poc stray kids #felix #lee felix #chan #han #changbin #lee know #woojin #i.n.#hyunjin #seungmin

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bigskydreaming · 6 years

Text

So random stuff about me and my acting career, apropos of nothing but being bored and having a spare moment. Putting it under a cut, not because it’s super personal or I have a problem with reblogs or anything in this instance, it’s just long and rambly and only of interest if you’re like....actually interested. Idk.

So I was just talking about memory, and I’m weird because in most instances, I actually have a really freaky good memory. It’s not photographic, but it’s still damn good. I can memorize a script fast enough that it gives most of my other actor friends envy, I could draw a floorplan of like, every house I lived in as a kid, but the thing is it’s not automatic. I have to like....make a mental note to lock something in as worth hanging on to. Its not like I look at a page and I have it memorized, but I look at a page and make a mental note like I’m taking a snapshot of it, and then its locked in.

But bottom line....I have a really really good memory for anything I care about to some degree, for whatever reason I care about it, whether it’s an important life event or a scene by scene breakdown of a fave fanfic I read twenty years ago in high school. Flip side tho....I have an absolutely TERRIBLE memory for anything that doesn’t particularly matter to me and I was never paying that much attention to begin with.

Now, you would think this would work out in my favor overall, as an actor, right? Like I said, I can memorize scripts really quickly and hold onto them for as long as I need to, I never forget a face if it’s someone I like or have a good interaction with, stuff like that.

Buuuuuut....problem is.....I’m also a jaded cynical asshole who super doesn’t give a shit about a lot of key things that most everyone else in the entertainment industry assumes everyone cares about as much as them. Like....say, how famous a person is, or how popular a show or movie is.

I could tell you every little detail I learned in conversation with a super obscure actor I worked with once eight years ago that’s only recently achieved a level of fame or celebrity if that actor was someone I enjoyed working with as a person. But if say, for instance, purely speaking hypothetically, if an actor were someone that I decided I didn’t give a shit about five seconds into our interaction because he came across as Generic Hollywood Douchebag #27? And if that actor was mostly in shows that aren’t to my personal tastes and so aren’t really on my radar, it doesn’t matter how big or famous that actor is, or even if I’ve literally met them three different times on three different projects and been personally introduced to them because I had actual lines with them.....hypothetically I would probably reintroduce myself to them each time as though it were the first time we’d ever met, even though I’m the nameless nobody and they’re the big star, because I simply did not give enough of a shit about them to lock in our previous interactions.

Now, I’m not saying that this scenario has happened, I’m just saying that it hasn’t....not happened.

And I’ve definitely never been in the super awkward position of only realizing halfway into a three week shoot with a director that the kinda weird random comments the director keeps making to me have to do with the fact that he actually directed me in a commercial years earlier and has been assuming this whole time that I definitely remembered working with him before, whoops.

But yeah, point is, I have a lot of cool or interesting or funny stories from working in Hollywood for like...ten years now, I think? Idk. But they’re all from like...good days on set on projects I enjoyed working with people I liked. I’ve had just as many projects where I literally just showed up for the paycheck, worked with people I didn’t err...particularly care for, and basically just....forgot everything about the job and the experience the minute I walked off set because who needs that shit, you know? Like I mean, yes, I’m petty and spiteful and joke about this all the time, but in reality, I don’t ACTUALLY get super annoyed over every single negative interaction I ever have, I just exaggerate this aspect of me for shits and giggles on tumblr because I’m unneccessarily melodramatic. When it comes to my day to day job, aka working on set on various projects, its just not worth the mental energy to get worked up over a lot of the shit I deal with on a daily basis because like, Ego is EVERYWHERE in Hollywood, and even I do not have the time or energy to be annoyed every time I have to work with a patronizing asshole. So mostly, I just tend to...forget about them. Unless they REALLY get under my skin.

Anyway, this leads to a very weird dichotomy when it comes to talking about my actual career and experiences as an actor. I can totally be guilty of name-dropping and being all oh I know so and so or I worked on this or that, but its not really because I think its super impressive because they’re so famous or whatever. The novelty of working with famous people wears off pretty quick, and like...no matter how big the person you’re working with today is, its not like there isn’t always someone bigger, you know? So when I name drop, it tends to be because I just really like someone as a person or just had a really good time working with them or working on a particular shoot. But then again, flip side.....try and talk to me about a job I didn’t care about, I mean, not a job I HATED but a job I just....wasn’t invested in, just was there for the paycheck, and like....you’ll get a blank stare 99% of the time.

So, I technically remain pseudo anonymous for the time being on tumblr, not wanting to publicly link this URL to my like....work stuff, that’s because most of you have seen me get enough anon crap from people worked up about fandom drama, that its not worth it to me to risk giving them potential ammunition like that. Considering I.....umm, absolutely have talked a LOT of shit about a couple of movies and shows and actors and directors that I have worked on or with personally because I have no filter lmao.

(And yes, Kalen is my real name and ppl have found my twitter and writing stuff because of it BUT I use a different name for my SAG name so like, that’s not what I’m on IMDB and stuff as). But because I have no filter and am one of the least subtle people in existence, I actually do end up saying a lot of stuff I probably shouldn’t if I REALLY wanted to remain totally anonymous, because a few people have absolutely figured out stuff I’ve been in and even tracked me down based on stuff I’ve mentioned over the years, lol whoops. And its not really that big a deal because I do have enough common sense....well no, okay let’s put it this way, I do have a firm enough system of prioritizing things for myself that anything I do say out loud, online or in public, is something that I would and have stood by even if it ends up getting me in trouble. Like, its not end of the world type secrecy, its more just....eh, I don’t really want to deal with unnecessary career drama if I don’t have to, so I try to be vague about stuff when I remember to, but I’m not like....obsessively invested in it. If that makes sense?

But the funny thing is, even with friends who do know my real name and I talk to about actual jobs I’ve had, like....half the time I can’t even tell them where to find me, because I genuinely don’t even remember a ton of the stuff I’ve actually been in. I could literally still recite my lines from a role, because that’s important info I needed to get paid for the job and thus I retain it....but in instances where it was just one or two fairly generic scenes without a context clue or me using names to signify who I might be talking to or what show or movie it might be from....I literally do not remember what the actual role itself was, lmao.

Like, I’m not even exaggerating for effect even slightly, this is how weird my brain is. I get residual checks for work I’ve done where I have to like....go hunt down my voucher or contract that matches the dates on the check to figure out what project it was from and try and remember it. Or go through my phone or facebook based off the dates to try and see if I talked to anyone about it that can jog my memory. Because what’s worse is a lot of stuff in Hollywood that isn’t like, a long running TV show, will use a pre-production name or even just go by ‘Untitled (Director’s Name) Project’, so I get a check with the official name of the project on it, and my dumb ass never paid attention to it after I was done working on it so never actually connected the dots.

LOL, I’ve had people I know come to me and be like, hey, were you on this episode of Criminal Minds in Season (I don’t even remember, I forgot AGAIN, jesus)....and I’m like....uh, I don’t think so? Because I hate Criminal Minds but I actually do watch it on Netflix, but in the background of stuff when I’m working on writing or graphic design stuff from home, and so I’m like, uh, I think I would remember if I’d ever worked on Criminal Minds or at least noticed....and then they’re all, no, I swear, that’s you, and they told me the episode number and I looked it up on Netflix and fast forwarded to the time stamp they gave me and I was like....ohhhhhhh, right, yeah that is me. Wait, I remember that shoot, that was Criminal Minds???? Huh. I had no idea.

I’m not even kidding. This is a real, actual conversation I’ve had with a college friend on facebook.

But yeah, it literally happens all the time to me. People will ask me “so what would I have seen you in” and half the time I legit have to tell them “apparently, the stuff you’re most likely to have seen me in, I completely have no idea where to find it.” Because most of the jobs I’ve had that I really enjoyed and remember fondly were for like, indie movies, or pilots that never got picked up, or this was this car commercial I did that only ever aired in European markets, and shit like that. And IMDB isn’t really much of a help because most actors kinda have to manage their own IMDB pages....to get officially credited via SAG, through IMDB Pro and stuff, either you or your agent or manager have to go through the production itself to get confirmation, and it’s a whole hassle and like.....you all know I’m notoriously ADHD right? LOL.

And I’ve never really had a consistent agent or manager for longer than a couple months, because the level that I’m at career wise, I’ve honestly always done better getting my own work than getting it through agents sending me on auditions. I’ve done two big budget pilots for primetime networks and both of them I got cast because the casting director called me in directly because she remembered me from these three episodes I did on a soap opera eight years ago, random stuff like that and personal networking, that’s how I’ve landed most of my jobs. But that means I’m the only one responsible for maintaining my IMDB page, which given the hoops you have to jump through to get properly credited in a lot of cases, means mine is missing like...a lot. (Also I haaaaate watching myself act on camera, because I’m a perfectionist and super self-critical, so I never seek out my own stuff to watch anyway, I show up, I do the job, I’m done with it, on to the next).

But another example, there’s a pretty popular show that ran on ABC for multiple seasons and is one of the more prominent places where people have seen me and recognized me in something, because like, it’s a one scene role but it’s definitely and clearly me. And so I went to IMDB to check if I was credited for it, because sometimes production does it itself and I don’t always have to do it personally, only....the role is credited....but to some random guy who most definitely is not me. I have no idea who this guy is, I don’t even remember seeing him on that shoot and yes it’s one i actually remember well lol, but from his page it looks like he’s basically a career extra who gets production to credit him when he has significant face time or a nonverbal and nameless but still relevant role - they do that sometimes, so its worth a shot I guess - but anyway, he somehow managed to get credited with my role either by accident or design and I’ve literally been trying for years to get that changed, but since production wrapped years ago it’s a pain hunting the right people down and every time I try and go hey I should finally take care of this, I end up just getting annoyed and go fuck it and give up lmao.

So random funny story to wrap this up........like....six or seven years ago I went down to San Diego to visit my little sister, she’s four years younger than me and so had just graduated college I think. And so I was there for a few days and at one point she wanted to go see this new summer movie that had just come out with Hayden Panettiere in it, that girl from Heroes, though its some other show that my sister was a fan of hers from. I did some stunt work on Heroes once though so that’s what I tend to remember her from, even though I’ve actually worked on a few different things she’s been on.

So anyway, my sister and I are sitting in the middle of the theater watching this movie I’ve never heard of or seen any previews for.....it was one of those generic summer high school/college rom-coms that randomly get sprinkled in amidst summer blockbusters some years. And I’m bored and barely paying attention because I looked up the synopsis before we left and it didn’t grab me and I wasn’t big on any of the cast, so I’m mostly just there to humor my sister because she’s that sibling that every family has where all other siblings fear them. And I’m not like, snoozing or anything, but nothing about the movie is holding my interest so its one of those just kinda...glazed eyes, killing time kinda experiences, and also, parts of it feel very familiar and I’m like....have I seen this before or is it just really really formulaic?

And then my sister full on hits me in the shoulder and hisses “You didn’t tell me you were IN this!” And I’m like, okay first, OW, second....I’m not, I think I would know? And she’s looking at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the world and then gestures super obnoxiously and dramatically (it runs in the family) at the screen and people are starting to look at us, so I’m like I’m looking, jeez, chill....and then its like...huh. Cuz sure enough, there I am. Right in the middle of this big house party scene. That’s definitely me, and suddenly I’m like.....thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s why I feel like I’ve seen this movie before, I’m remembering the sceeeeeenes I was on set for. Ugh, no wonder I forgot about it, now I’m remembering we shot this one scene right here like 22 times, we spent three fucking days on it, it was annoying as hell.

And my sister’s still looking at me accusingly, like I’ve committed some mortal sin by not alerting her in advance to my presence, or more likely, not having called her to give her every single detail of my experience on a movie she was interested in, and I’m like....what do you want me to say? I didn’t know I was in this!

How do you NOT know you’re in a movie, she wants to know, and we’re whisper fighting in the middle of the theater but luckily nobody seems too mad, the ppl around us look kinda amused actually because they’ve recognized the me next to them as the me on the screen and have overhead enough to get the gist (my sister is a very loud whisperer), and anyway I’m like, I knew I was in A movie, I just didn’t know it was THIS movie, it was one of those Untitled projects I’m pretty sure. I never knew what they ended up calling it!

And she’s like, and you never tried to find out what it was ultimately called or when it would come out at least? Which....no, why would I? It’s a terrible movie, I have zero interest in it.

Finally she’s like ugh, whatever, I still don’t get how you didn’t at least think ‘hey, I was in something with Hayden Panettiere recently, maybe its this’ when I was talking about her being in it. You had to at least know she was in it, you’re standing like....five feet away from her!

And I think I just shrugged at that point, because it was like, yeah, I knew it was her, but I’ve been that close to her a bunch of times, so what? She’s okay I guess but she’s not that great, I didn’t pay that much attention lol. Besides this was actually like a year ago I’m pretty sure, I’ve actually worked on the same set as her like twice since then I think, so.....idk. I probably just thought this was Heroes again? Whatever, it all blurs together and the director was super obnoxious, I remember now. I spent the whole shoot trying to astral project away from there.

I think that was the point where she just gave up on me and idk, knowing her she probably did a super dramatic hair toss and then tried to ignore me for the rest of the movie. Most likely while internally ranting about what a waste it is having an actor brother who doesn’t even care enough to let you know when he’s on set with her like....multiple times. To which I probably would’ve replied I can’t possibly be expected to keep up with her current faves, she changes celeb idols like, as often as she changes her hair color, which is a LOT. Ahem. Anyway. At one point my scene came on where I had actual lines, and I started mouthing them along with the me on screen, which I do admit in hindsight, was probably a Dick Older Brother move on my part, but whatever, she was being totally unreasonable about the whole thing, but then she gave me a Devil Glare and was like “I thought you didn’t remember being in this movie,” and I gave into the compulsion to just go full on Dick Older Brother and was like “I said I didn’t remember the MOVIE, of course I remember my LINES, I’m a professional, Ashley, god”.

Yeah. She was irritated about that for awhile. Oh well. Siblings. What can you do, y’know?

But moral of the story - you’d think, after all that, I’d at least always remember that movie after that happened.

I do not.

I think I’ve told this story to a bunch of people over the years, and every single time they ask me, so what was the movie, I wanna check it out. And to this day, I STILL can not for the life of me remember the fucking title of that movie or even like, what my character’s name was, and I just...never care enough to go try and hunt it down and figure it out.

What’s really bad, is I know for a FACT that multiple people I’ve told this story to have then gone on to hunt it down from Panettiere’s IMDB page on their own, and came back to me like ‘was it this one’ and I’m always like YES! THAT’S IT!

.....two minutes later, I have completely fucking forgotten the name of the movie again.

I SWEAR TO GOD I’M NOT EVEN JOKING. This is just....my brain.

#kalen acts sometimes

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Last thing that made you go “aww!” probably a dog I saw

Is a crow’s caw annoying to you? hmm... not usually, no

Do you enjoy jazz music? one song, when there’s another and more I get sick :x

Do you like the topaz birthstone? no What are your thoughts on gas prices? I don’t drive so no idea Are you an ass? can be Have you ever caught any fish while fishing before? I never went fishing nor want to Do you attend Mass? I listen to the mass online every Sunday even though it annoys me and I can’t focus much What was your favorite class in school? can’t decide, depends on the grade/school/teacher etc. Are you full of sass? I’m not Grav3yardgirl

Do you like razzamatazz ice cream? dunno what that is How often do you pass gas? in the morning - a lot, later - not at all unless I have a flare Do you have a favorite mug/cup/glass? I use those that I like less because I am afraid I will break those I love lmfao Name anything you own that is made of brass. I don’t think I own anything like that even tho brass is cool, I hate copper tho Does your grass need to be cut right now? I like it long, atural *wink wink* Would you like to live in a castle? Why or why not? too much space to take - that’s unfair as some ppl are homeless and nautre should be more free, it’s also too much space to clean and... to get lost in lol

Do you own a car? What kind? I don’t as I already mentioned I don’t drive

Did you live far from your parents, or close by? I live with them, still

Is it easy or difficult for you to open a jar? depends

Tell us how you got one of your scars. fallen from a clothes horse on a piece of wood and scratched deeply my left leg, wound was full of splinters

Do you wish upon a star? it doesn’t work, I tried...

Have you ever smoked a cigar before? nope, just a cigarette and didn’t like it

Would you ever have boudoir photography taken of yourself? Why or why not? hmm...

Do you know how to play the guitar? If not, would you like to learn? tried and it’s not for me

Have you ever had caviar before? Did you like it? I wouldn’t try that, gross and expensive for such a small amount of food

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18 or 19

Miss anyone right now? sure

Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone? could say so

Have you ever cheated on a partner? nooo

Ever been cheated on? kind of

Do you have a friend who you think you’ll be best friends with forever? my dad I hope

Does it annoy you when you accidentally delete things? very

What`s a movie / book / TV show / band / whatever you highly recommend? I usually don’t recommend anything to anyone without knowing them and their taste first

Are you anticipating or dreading anything? some things both at the same time even

What`s the most annoying thing in the world? can’t choose only one thing

When did you last use one of those water slides you put on hills? never

What does your bedside lamp look like? I have a green night light, used to have a mushroom one but I can’t find a light bulb to replace

What did you last take a photograph of? I took several today but the last one was of the wild flowers growing near my fence

When was the last time you got really frustrated with technology? today, my camera didn’t want to cooperate, not even mentioning my computer and cellphone failing me constantly

What was the last funny thing someone said to you? I don’t remember what was last, I know I said some dry/daddy jokes/puns myself

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? I don’t remember but I know I do that differently than everybody else in my family

Do you want to move to somewhere else? If so, where? badly, just my own apartment

What’s your favourite picture of yourself as a child? hmm... dunno

Do you like your neighbours? some I hate

Does your room need to be cleaned? absolutely

Do you have a good relationship with your family? it’s complicated, depends on the family member, my father is my best friend tho

What is something people are surprised to hear about you? the truth? *shrug*

Do you hate any particular groups of people? yup but won’t list them in here

Do you fall up or down stairs usually? I don’t fall often enough to compare

Do you constantly break things? (By mistake or otherwise) luckily not

What was the last bug you saw? plenty of bugs this day

Are there any smells which make you feel nauseous? basically all of them make me feel nauseous

Do you have anything unusual in your bag? I suppose

What`s your favourite key on a keyboard? don’t think I have one, some I don’t use at all tho

Who`s your favourite character from The Simpsons? Or do you hate that show? Lisa I think

Have you ever had any friends who always tried to steal your things? sorta

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? maybe How do you make your money? I use my parents money for now :( sometimes I sell my belongings

What color are your eyes? hazel?

How tall are you? 156 cm short

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? sleep

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? mom, besides eyes

How long does it take you to shower? about half an hour?

Are you flexible? in a weird way

Can you speak any other language than English? polish, a bit of russian and used to know Braille’a

What is the last letter of your middle name? I have no middle name, just confirmation one

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?: yes

Are you scared of flying? not crashing but smells and noise and puking etc.

What do you sleep in? pajama Who was the last person you kissed? @muziasta

What jewelry do you wear all the time? recently necklace I got from my gf

Is the last person you kissed older than you? younger, almost 2 months hahaha

Do you have a favorite item of clothing? I like most of my clothes

Last movie you saw in theaters? last time I was in cinema I still attend high school, not a fan of that place

What was last thing you drank? water

Are you left handed? am not

What is the last thing you thought about? lots of stuff

Do you want to get married & have children one day? I don’t want any kids!

What is the most recent gift you’ve been given? a mug Did I just roll my eyes out loud Is what you’re wearing comfortable? why not?

Did you leave the house today? twice

Are there bumper stickers on your car? if I had a car...

Are you watching tv right now? What? I didn’t watch TV for months

Do you have a job? not currently

Have you ever shot a gun? in middle school

What do your parents do for a living? my mom is retired and my dad is a guard

Have you ever had a pet that had babies? noooo

What color is the blanket on your bed? blue and yellow with sun and moon

What are your parent’s middle names? they don’t have those

Have you ever broken a bone? just my nose?

Do you wear lasses? nope

What color are they? -

Are you currently reading a book? finished one and didn’t start another yet

When did you last get your blood drawn? not that long time ago

How many contacts are in your phone? about 5

What things do you take with you everywhere? that’s personal

Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? nah

Do you own any rings? yeah

Could you list all 50 states? no way

What internet browser do you use? Opera

Do you know someone that’s missing a limb? there’s this guy that sometimes takes a bus with me and he has no leg but that’s all

Are you a bad person? possibly

What was the last swear you said? not sure which was last, I say way too many for my own good :x

Have you ever called the police on someone? not me but my parents, also fire department

What is the most amount of pets you’ve had at one time? 2

When did you last check your email? last week

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? few times

How long is your hair? short

Do you lock your doors at night? of course

Does your bedroom have a lock? sadly not

How big is your bed? smol

Do you know someone that was murdered? not personally

Do you know someone who’s pregnant not now

Do you wear a watch? no

How much jewelry do you own? too much for how often I wear it

Have you ever gotten x-rays? shitload

Do you wear gloves in the winter? fingerless

Do you consider yourself smart? in a way, I might be

Are your teeth straight? they’re not

Do you own a bike? push scooter but I plan to buy a bike of some sort this summer

Are you taller than your mom? I am :D

Have you ever been engaged? I have not

What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? many are to me, especially those I relate to certain enemies

Have you ever come up with your own idea for an app? of a game

Do you remember to put the caps back on your pens? what for?

When’s the last time you sat on someone else’s lap? this week

Do you take naps often? once in a few months

Do you like to listen to rap? meh

Do you prefer gift wrap or gift bags? gift bags, gift paper annoys me and it’s worthless

What chore do you wish you could get done just by snapping your fingers? all of them? XD

Have you ever done tap dancing before? pretend

Have you ever felt trapped? always?...

Has a strap on your bag ever broken before? it started to so I changed it

Do you watch episode recaps, or skip ahead? skip

Do you know anyone who owns a Venus flytrap plant? my (now ex) friend wanted to, they’re interesting but you have to clean them and I’m not fond of picking up dead flies, yuk

Do you drink water out of the tap, or does it have to be bottled? bottled or I boil it

0 notes

themeltedheadaches · 6 years

Note

ALL THE ASKS DO IT unless ur too busy #collegelife love u ❤❤❤❤

LOVE U BOO never too busy for u (also using this to procrastinate on my french composition so)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

i eat my cereal………………….dry…………..

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

YES that’s literally my life now. i love it but also my nose was running today all the way to get coffee in downtown. i was in THREE LAYERS it is not even DECEMBER

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

answered! :)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

if i’m going to be a bitch and just get plain coffee, i’m gonna get it black bc otherwise i’ll just have a white mocha or a cappuccino or something (the ppl at the campus coffeeshop know who i am. they know my order. “one sin-ful latte coming up!” thank u for fueling my Addition.) i take my tea with milk and sugar if it’s black tea ((earl gray)) or with honey if it’s green tea. if it’s white tea i’ll sometimes have it with sugar, and if it’s something like peppermint or lavender or chamomile i’ll just have it plain. IM A PICKY BITCH

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

i used to be! but now i like it.

6: do you keep plants?

YES pls pray for them

7: do you name your plants?

answered! :)

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

poetry! i like to watercolor too, actually, though i left them at home :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

YES i miss my car bc that’s when i would have Prime Time to sing and hum to myself or along to whatever song i live for at the moment. (i’m into a musical rn and i can’t yell the lyrics out i’m so ANnoyed Always)

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

answered!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

i have fucking countless at home……. at college there are quite a few too! as in: “hypothetically, vodka?,” “fuckinG,,,WHAT,” “[blow twice] [slurp sound] [tongue click] noice.,” “SHPEAKERSH OHN!,” “over there! like, over there? over there. over there?,” “just going to go kick some nutria,” and of course, the classic, “same, but jewish.”

12: what’s your favorite planet?

URANUS actually tho it’s uranus. i had to do my planet project on it in the 4th grade and i gave my brother AND mother silent treatment for two days bc they laughed at its name. i’m very protective

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

i saw my favorite puppy on campus again today!! he’s grown so much!! also my poetry professor’s wife had a successful surgery! #GoMeredith

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

SO MESSY………………….listen. @michelle i’ve seen ur room, and i would just accept that that is how we live now and it’s fine. it would also be aesthetic as fuck tho tbh. full of yarn and animal fur. and books. and junk food #RIFP

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if saturn’s rings were a meter long, they would be 10000 times thinner than a razorblade! what the fuckkkkkkkkkkk

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UHHHHH fucking;;;;;;;;what how am i supposed to #represent my italian fmaily with this DISGUSTING question,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, jk i fuckig love risotto, just ur basic bitch peas and cheese risotto and i’ll cry. also?? gnocchi!! holy shiiiiiiiit.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

my hair has such good color i’d actually rather shave it all off than dye it :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

HHHHHHHH yesterday. LITERALLY yesterday. there was a french club meeting that served cheese and bread! so i took my Good Friend WIliam (who is not in french, unlike me), and we walk into the room, and i say “helLO!” bc that’s good manners, when you’re going to just get food and leave, and it’s dead silent. i get food and leave. william has told everyone in our entire hall twice.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

answered!

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

i’m so biased……….but……..brown………..

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my brown leather one! it’s actually super fake leather and i got it from target!! but it’s cute and small and somehow fits everything i need to put in it, including 3 beers and my wallet and 2 phones last weekend. i’ve had for 4 years now

22: are you a morning person?

yes! i like waking up early actually

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

go on youtube and waste time, or walk around campus/downtown with friends, or shop!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yes

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my cousin’s RV

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my brown leather boots! wow there’s a trend here lmao. actually i’ve had two pairs of these bc my first was falling apart?? i used them first in a cosplay……in the 7th grade………..(i was matt from death note and to this day i’m STILL not fucking ashamed, i had the wig and goggles and everything.) i love them and wear them all the time, they’re so comfy and warm and stylish and i feel like a hacker badass everytime i wear them. still to this day.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum gives me hives i do Not enjoy it :(

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset!

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

one of my friends down the hall will call things/ppl “cute as pie” completely genuinely!! i love her!!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

oh yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i fucking love them thanks end of story. wearing them makes me feel cozy and put together and also atm my dorm floor is Disgusting. i sleep with them when it’s cold and my feet are dry! i have so many fun socks it’s great. i love them. socks are highly underrated.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

my friend and i were driving around evERYWHRE basically, we went from pasadena/san marino to like. hollywood all the way to beverly hills and back and it was wonderful, we stopped 3 times to chase stray cats, take shitty pictures, go to iHop, and almost died several times bc hE SNAPS AND DRIVES at NIGHT on LA FREEWAYS

33: what’s your fave pastry?

croissants, followed by scones, followed by coffeecake

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

bunny the stuffed bunny! she’s pretty large, like as long as my torso! she’s white fabric with colored fluffy bits and very floppy, loose ears. she has green button eyes that i had my grandma sew on bc otherwise she actually scared me a bit when i was a kid, but i loved her anyway bc my great-grandmother sewed her for me in the first place. bunny still lives on my bed at home!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES! i ddon’t use them very often though bc i feel like i should save them for something. rip me

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

stromae hands down

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clean….i’m so lazy tho

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

sudden loud noises, being startled, being touched physically when i don’t expect it, someone making assumptions about me, being dismissed, being told what i want or what i’m going to do, borrowing something of mine w/o telling me, being interrupted

39: what color do you wear the most?

HONESTLY black bc i’m an emo bitch

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

one i’ve been wearing a lot is the fork ring i got from the portland saturday market! it’s literally the tines of a vintage fork separated from the part you hold, sanded down so it’s round, and looped into a ring shape. i fidget with it a lot and it reminds me of my mom and step-dad, bc i got it when i was with them. i wear it mostly everyday tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

new american best friend by olivia gatwood in general, or thick as thieves by megan whalen turner when i re-read it out loud to my mom on the ride up to college

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

yeeeeeeS i have several! the bistro, which is on campus: it’s so comfortable, it has couches everywhere and board games and so many books and zines and the walls are half chalkboard so there’s always art or snark everywhere. the music is super eclectic (it was lorde yesterday, today when i went in it was old-school 90s rap), plus it’s student run so the coffee and pastries and food are SO GOOD. the archive, which is downtown, is really boujee as fuck but it’s SO COOL. it’s so fucking aesthetic, with brown leather stools and uncomfortable booths and vintage books and stuff everywhere. for half the day, it’s a coffeeshop, and after 7, it becomes a bar. then back home, of course, coffee bean and tea leaf is the classic

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

half my hall when we went star tripping at the start of the year!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

honestly the last time it was genuine was probably around…….january? i was in so much emotional pain and grief, but i was surrounded by family who loved me and were in that same pain and were so happy i was with them to help and be there with them. i wasn’t serene per say, or at peace, but there was this equilibrium….

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes!

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

my RA told me this one this morning: did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory in france this morning? de-brie everywhere!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

tomatoes

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

spiders, YES

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i do…………………….. it was the soundtrack to romeo et juliette (2010)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

everything; stickers, pressed flowers, rocks, receipts

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the easiest one is when i think of my roommate, davey the dog’s barking cover of “do the hustle”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, yes, no, no, it was okay

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ME, BITCH

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

chugged an an entire pitcher of water to prove i could, three times

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

genuineness! vulnerability! eye contact! fidgeting!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

made me feel PUMPED, and of course i did

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

i am both

59: what’s your favorite myth?

uHHHHHHHHHH i love the myth of beowulf actually bc i had to do a project on it once, i have a soft spot for it, i love all myths tho wtf

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, recently some of my favorites are the entirety of a montage of a dream deferred by langston hughes, “totem sonnets” by sherman alexie, “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous” by ocean vuong, “one art” by elizabeth bishop

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

stupid gifts are nonexistent :/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

noooo

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

yes lmao…….i kinda leave them be but i don’t like it if i let someone borrow them and they trash them uGH

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Pitch Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

morning glories, lavender, baby’s breath!

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

very good, thankfully, bc i am in oregon

68: what’s winter like where you live?

in LA, it’s cold and sweet and late and breathless and i adore it

69: what are your favorite board games?

jenga, clue, ??

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

NONONONONO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

peppermint for mornings, earl gray for evenings!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

yes, sadly

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting the skin around my fingers, bouncing my knees incessantly, procrastinating on my french compositions……

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

well there’s this amazing person who i met in freshman year german…….;)

75: tell us about your pets!

i WISH

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

yes :(

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink of course

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i am the true hateclub: i don’t react. do not give them power. they Feed off of your Hatred

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

get me flowers, surprise me with chocolate, come up to me and compliment me on my writing, etc!!

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at home my walls are a soft orangey-peach, which is picked bc i love it. here, my walls are very very white, which i did not pick, but am neutral towards.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

circuit-board chips busted open

82: are/were you good in school?

ehhhhhhh

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

MELODRAMA

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! a minimalistic double-delight rose for my great-grandmother, “love ya!” in my grandpa’s handwriting, maybe a nutshell with a crown over it (for the “king of infinite space” bit in hamllet), possibly “soyez réaliste, demandez l’impossible!” (be realistic, demand the impossible!) from the french student revolution in the 60s

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

somewhat, def hawkeye or the young avengers bc i’m basic :/

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

the only one i’ve rlly ever listened to is fucking danger days, so i worship them obviously

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

i think ppl should make their own agendas :/ however, i have deeply loved secondhand lions, up, moonlight, the grand budapest hotel, and other basic bitch things

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

impressionism!! aaaaaaa!!! also just shove me in front of abstract art and i’ll fall for it!!!

89: are you close to your parents?

so so so so close to my mom and step-dad, on okay terms with my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

listen to me. I LOVE SEATTLE. art! fish market! weird side streets! mean street art! bitchy coffee!! neon everywhere!! a big fuckin needle in the sky!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

ITALY THIS SUMMER IM SO EXCITED i’m gonna meet all my mom’s friends from her semester abroad that she’s kept, i’m gonna see what she saw when she was my age, i’m gonna see where my dad’s family is from maybe if we go south???, i’m gonna see all the places and things she used to tell me about to get me to dream big and want to see the world and experience what’s out there!! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

depends on the pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

down bc i’m fucking lazy and also inept when it comes to doing things with hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my friend across the hall from me, who is now 19 years of bitchiness!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in, study, maybe go to a kickback tho

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

lol i put them off until my computer ceases to function altogether

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

zodiac obviously

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

fucking…….summer?? i did!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

“feelings” by hayley kiyoko, “vacation town” by the front bottoms, “february” by beach bunny, “hard feelings/loveless” by lorde, “moon river” by henri mancini, “let me in” by flor, “a million miles away” by the plimsoles, “girls like me” by bonnie hayes, “love my way” by the psychedelic furs, the entire legend of zelda soundtrack, “place, je passe” from the mozart l’opera rock soundtrack, etc etc

#ask

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angel-nero · 7 years

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I was tagged by @wonderseverythingabove @glaspaladin and @kageyama-tobiyo sorta idk

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

phone 

napkins

Money 

lipstick

mints/halls (i drink too much Coke to be eating mints and I bought two packages and… oh god)

Five Things In My Bedroom:

computer

books

huge ass scary wardrobe

clothes everywhere

a lot of lamps cus I like to draw and I am super blind.

no posters cus they never keep there. old 14 years old me wasnt happy about it

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

play piano

learn more languages

travel a lot 

dance ballet

art

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

food

art supplies

good education

my dog! Fuck! I love my dog!

buying things I want

Five Things On My To-Do List:

enter uni

chill 

study for uni

recovery

laundry yeah same

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

I get anxious a motherfucking lot about everything and no one irl knows besides my bffs. And family last year.

I eat a lot but can’t win weight and i am super skinny and look sick all the fucking time but…..

I might actually be v sick lmao. Im doing studies rn

apparently I have french accent LMAO 🤠💦 some mx pals even asked me if I’m french and im like???? No??? i just cant focken speak right, okay?

Im a coastal who doesnt likes seafood and old ppl constantly tell me shit about how i am missing the joy of life or how i am actually not a resident. yea, u rite, i am an alien

Name?: Gabriela

Nicknames?: Bowie in school 🤠💦 gab, gabs, babe (gabe), uh, gabalooney toones? Idk dawn is nuts. dont call me gaby pls that's my mom

Zodiac?: aries, constantly annoyed and an annoyance

Sexual Orientation?: Fuck this question honestly

Ethnicity?: mexican/Spanish but born in México, you get? Mexican

Favorite Fruit?: grapes

Favorite Season?: Summer. im a sucker for summer, find me in the beach, its too fucking hot so everyone wants to die

Favorite Flower?: idk i dont frikin care leave them alone

Favorite Scent?: scents that ain’t too strong. I rather breathe fresh air for all my life cus sometimes, no matter what smell, get me nervous 🤠💦 just… never food. any food

Favorite Animal?: all animals are cute I don’t play favorites

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: Hot chocolate even if it kills me. then coffee and kill tea. The only i’ve had is fuze tea lmao. tea i believe is fucking bad in here and this city is too hot to actually care. i love frappes

Cat or dog?: dogs

Dream Trip?: idk, bex’s ufo spots is actually a good one but i wouldn’t like to go to merica. Also… i wanna go to yucatán and see the place where the meteorito crashed and killed the fucking dinosaurs. and i think yucatán has a beach w pink water!!!! but nvm i checked and apparently you cant see shit. just take me somewhere idc

Number of Followers?: never will tell u

What do I post about?: i have two blogs. I used to post Queen/beatles pics and gifs and shitposts. In this one i was sooo quiet for like, 2 and a half years, I barely followed anyone and stopped entering once cus all i saw was su and v0ltr0n i was so lost in my dash 🤠💦 came back this year and its good 😎 and…… idk just texts i tag under bullshit.txt if u wanna block em. i wont b posting jaaaackshit

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: blep? Sometimes. I laugh cus when I was so quiet I answered em all on private. Look, that experience is fuckin hilarious to me cus i didnt have hopes of the anime fandoms or whatever

Favorite Band?: queen. But i love a lot of music bruh. Queen was my first fav band so shut the fuck up and eat dirt if you say something

Aesthetic?: bleeeh bleh bleeeh bru the sun, keith, the desert, the beach, the sky, the universe, fight club and trainspotting, big buildings, parties, cool stories, me dyin

Fictional Character I’d Date?: Eren 🤠💦. Listen…. I love him, and i knew about him when we were both 15… it’s special….. and now we are both 19….. and we’re so alike. I picked him so we could b friends actually he a little motherfuck

Hogwarts House?: gryffindor

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses (all the fucking time)

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined (i didnt even kno about this i checked a birthday pics w my friends and i had a croptop an suddenly i had abs. its from laughing probably)

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well (my throat is super fucked fam i barely can speak :/)

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports (bleeh sometimes)

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship (almost v close actually)

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce (axayactl but its easy tho and whe called him axa!)

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (yah whatever who care)

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

i dont kno who to tag, idk who is down for this lm but if you see this and wanna do it…………… bbbbleaaassseeeee consider yourselfie tagged ily we dont have to b mutuals. tag me tho so i can read it!!!!!!!! i‘d love to

#LONG POST #tag meme #THANKS Y ALL I FINALLY DID IT #still sick tho #feeling like bullshit #but ima here #im sorry................ other followers for this long ass post #English might b horrible cus idk English actually:-//:

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2013-life-calendar-blog · 6 years

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Camp 2018

Day 3: had a very fun camp fire, I feel so happy. I love hanging out with all of the people from Europe they are super funny! Met some of the cooks who are also nice. Sang campfire songs and chatted all night. The sky had so many stars. Got to witness multiple people having their first roasted marshmallow ever (Lizzy and Sophie).

Day 4 a person from Costa Rica was supposed to get antihypertensives before he came but he never went. Came in with chest pain. We couldn't find the bp cuff so searched for it. Took his blood pressure and it was super high so he told him to sit down. Measured it again and it went down + his chest pain went away. We were worried that we would have to call 911. Asked other nurses for antihypertensives but we don't have that here. They told their supervisors and said we had to wake up Sadie (which was annoying, and we just thought it was angina so we didn't wake her up).

Day 5: enjoyed the sunshine, worked out, played basket ball which was super fun!!!!! Got closer w everyone.

Day 8:

Very fun chatted with auggie and em all night about his girls and life

me and 2 of my friends were in the kitchen at like 11 just eating strawberries with chocolate cause my friends (auggie) is the baker for the camp. Basically tom Thomson (from the group of 7) got murdered on this lake and his body was found ON MY ISLAND. Anyways so we were talking about him and the lights in the kitchen started flickering. We then made a joke saying ouuu it's probs tom Thompson and I was like Emily pass my my phone incase tom shuts off the lights. Then I was saying how once when I was younger we asked for a sign from playing ouiji and the phone went off the hook. Then all of a sudden right after I said that the power went out in the kitchen so we were in the pitch black and it went out on the whole island. But it wasn't raining or anything so there was no reason for it to go out.

8. today in the morning I was like my brain was playing tricks on me after that last night I kept hearing someone walking behind our cabin (which is rocks and water so no one would be back there) and she was like WHAT THE FUCK I heard that too and just thought I was imagining it so I didn't say anything last night

Also went on a canoe trip I portaged the canoe on my shoulders alone for the first time it was so fun v proud of myself. Also learned how to stern the canoe. Learned about different things: cedar tread high in vitamin C, the British were dying of scurvy and asked the aboriginal ppl for help and they showed them to make Cedar tea. Ate wild blueberry leaves (tasted like ripe blueberries and have all of the antioxidants in them that blueberries do), wintergreen leaves (good in tea very minty), can use the sap from a cedar tree to help make a fire, its very sticky!!

July 17- so far it's been very busy. Dealt with an asthma exacerbation. Had Frankie a cute little girl who was obsessed with me always coming in for hugs (I miss her). Did 2 lice parties, one with 4 older girls (took 6 hours) one with 3 younger girls. Mikayla got a boyfriend at home wooo, but the guy here that likes her is sad. There's a nest and 3 little eggs hatched eggwardo Shelton and birdidette. 3 girls in inferm are so nice, chloe is very chill. Georgia and Sasha are hilarious!!!! Went sailing with Georgie and Mikayla and had the best time ever!!!!!!!!! I was so so happy. Javier said he misses me and started sending me hearts AHHHH he's so cute!!!!!!!!! Got to run a sexual health talk about STIs, contraception etc. I'm so happy and love it here

June 28 sat and played cards with Nikki Sophie, lizzy, and Emily on the diving tower. had the staff auction today which was so funny people spent $80 to make their friend chug a coke in front of the crowd, they did a big talk about raccoons at ahmek and had a big thing hiding behind the tarp. Then they took the tarp down and it was a door to the guys cabin. One dude bet $800 to get his door back. Another bet $1400 to get his walkie talkie LOl so funny

July 29- today was wild a 19 year old girl thought she may be pregnant I gave her a pregnancy test and it came back positive. She was super excited but anxious about telling her mom. I got to experience this for the first time which was cool and something I've never done before. Also a camper said she fainted for 30 mins in the past, she said she faints 1-2 times a day when doing lots of activity. She isint on any bp meds but takes 6-8 grams of salt a day. None of this was on camper files. She leaves on trip tomorrow. Said she had to stop swimming cause she thought she may faint. Had to interview her and got an extensive history took her standing and sitting bp, checked heart rate and stats. Relayed the info to doctor sarah and she said I did a great job, wooohoooo

July 30- camper FAKES having heart palpitations and fainting for 30 mins. We hold her back from trip and her dad fucking says she's lying about everything and her symptoms are nonsense.

August 2nd - best day at camp ever. We got to put sparkles all over us for campchella. Jermey had them all over his beard(the resident). We are snow cones, went on bouncy castles, hit eachother off these stands with big poles, did karaoke to don't stop believing (with the med staff) and went on the slip in slide which was so friggen fun!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy :)

August 8th- this 7 year old girl had been found on the ground after fainting multiple (around 4) times, her vitals and blood sugar were normal. We had called her parents cause we were very concerned I asked a counsellor to watch her faint, and turns out she was just falling on the ground and pretending to faint loooool. She braced herself and would squint her eyes. We told her that if it continued she would have to stay in the infirm. I participated in the bouleé which is a canoe race. Our time was 15 mins 13 seconds. We then dunked our canoe and played on the water tramp with the sun setting a magnificent pink, it was so beautiful and fun. I'm so happy

August 9 The bar was so great, they had a computer plugged into a speaker so we got to YouTube the songs we wanted and be our own DJs. The bus ride was also so fun!!!!! We had to paddle from the island to the bus. On the way back it was so dark, there are lights all over the lake and one of the lights is our camp so it was a big challenge trying to figure out how to get home. Also in the middle of the lake Mikayla and I were paddling and then all of a sudden tipped over by accident. It was so weird cause we didn't even feel wobbly but then we were in the water with all of our stuff, our rain jackets on and shoes. It was very funny, we both were dying laughing. We had to do a T rescue so that we could get back in our canoe cause it was filled with water. I was very smart though cause I made sure my purse was strapped on before we left just incase we tipped and I also put mine and mikayla's phones in a ziplock bag (go drunk shea!!!!). Then we got home and ate Cheetos and chocolate. It was a great night!!!!! Still getting chirped by everyone for tipping

August 11- went to boots and hearts!!!! Had so much friggen fun! A nice cute man named Jordan saved our lives cause our dick head cab driver wouldn't drive us to line 7. Chilled w the pals, saw Vince connor and Liam which was nice. The gals were super pumped to see me. We played frizzy bat, lots of drinking games and chatted. Saw Parker Jackson and he told me he is still in love w me, we dated 4 years ago how peculiar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 13- today was my last intake day, very bittersweet feeling!!!!!! It went by so quickly, only 1 person had lice (much better than our 10 person staff lice party). We got to swim and I paddle boarded with the tocos they are so cute!! I also played this or that while the kids jumped in the water. Today was a great chill day. One toco broke her tooth in half on a rock, she didn't even cry or anything (very proud). For treating a poison ivy rash all over this girl's body we are using prednisone, you have to be careful and slowly taper this medication. She started with 30 mg once a day and then went down to 20 mg once a week. Rash is causing burning and pain, it went away but 3 days later it came back so we had to give her more prednisone.

Aug 14

Good day got to relax in the sun and swim. Started making my paddle, it is hard work!!! The girl with the poison Ivy's rash continued spreading. they think she may have a hypersensitivity to the meds and this is a delayed reaction of it. She took 20 mg of reactine and 50 mg benadryl. We will see if this helps

Aug 15

The camper from before with the "heart palpitations" is back. She said that she had heart palpitations twice on trips and then listed the 2nd 4th and 5th day??¿ she said the last time she fainted was 2 weeks ago doing a science experiment when the last time we spoke to her it was kayaking and then playing tennis with her brother. Before she said she fainted for 30 mins 2 years ago, now she's saying it happened 1 month ago??? This girl is FUCKED. I'm so angry that she keeps doing this. a girl in her cabin fell off of a horse, so they think she is doing it so that she gets some attention back. I'm going to scream.

August 19th

Council ring

Where are you mike? I'm right here pat,*bonk with sock*

August 20th

Got to watch all of the 50 days paddle in, was so wholesome, very proud of them. Georgia came and gave me a big hug awwwww!!! Wait nvm lmao the doctor found a louse on my fucking ear, must've been from Georgia hahahaha, that's okay still such a good day. Then watched the final play which was AMAZING momma Mia was so good!!! Then went to a dance which was so LIT, everyone was in a small circle inside tables. A girl got hit in the head with a jug and was bleeding everywhere, cleaned her head and tonja applied glue. Contacted parents

August 22nd

Was trying to say boo or bubs accidentally called emily boobs lmao, did inventory got to pop some staff infection wounds like pimples which was AWESOME!!! Mikayla and I are brain dead and hyper and laughing about the stupidest s things hahaha. Did inventory and lots of intakes of kids from trip. Game night final banquet was SO FUN!!!!! Had mozzarella sticks, guac, enchiladas, spinach dip and lots more. Monopoly would go around putting people in jail and everyone would stand up and diss eachother. One of ours to chess was there ain't now yawns on us their ain't no yawns on us there may be yawns on you pawns but their ain't no yawns on us CHECKMATE! Giant mosquito attacked me wahhhh.

Aug23

Finished inventory. Rose fainted in the canoe was hyperventilating had to calm her down. Mikayla threw tape at me and I threw my phone across the room on the floor to catch the tape

Cute things campers have said

-Willa: comes to infirm and says arm hurts counsellor says what, you said your leg hurts! Then Willa goes it moves, oh look now it's in my tummy.... ouch now it's in my neck.

-evy: says she can't see and won't focus on me and says: where are we?? Counsellors scared that she has heat stroke. I take her with me to the inferm and she is limping walking really slow and saying she's going to faint. Keeps asking where she is. Then I say don't be homesick you only have 7 days left. She stands up normally and says 9 then starts limping and saying she can't see again lmaooo.

-Christina: health checks we ask her if she's been sick at all in the last month, she thinks for a few seconds and says I'm positive I had diarrhea once then pauses and says ya I'm positive. Then she leaves and we hear her counsellors say: don't lie to the nurses. Then we see her running back to the door and she frantically knocks on the door and says: I didn't have diarrhea

-Christina- gets belly button cleaned because she has an infection. She always comes in and lifts her shirt up so she can get it cleaned and today she walked and and pulled down her pants and then goes oops I forgot

-Greer: see at first I would have said that you saying my nose will get bigger if I like wasn't true but like... you're a nurse so you know

it's like chill

Chelsea

me:" so what happens when you eat red food colouring, how are you allergic to it?" Her: " I get aggressive" me: "what do you mean by that" her: "I get violent"

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peekiesblog · 6 years

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Happy New Year 2018—A Love Letter to 2017, With Love <3

“The Worst and Best Year of My Life”

This is just a normal reflection/rant about Year 2017--it’s not at all bad towards anything or anybody so relax. Also doing this yearly is very therapeutic.

Warning: If you don’t want to hear other opinions about 2017 then stop reading. Have a nice day and Happy New Year. ;D

Another warning: This is a general observation. We’re not shading anyone. If you think so then that’s all on you. ;)

PS: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. CREDITS TO OWNERS.

Last warning: I will be tackling VERY sensitive subjects so if you can’t handle those then stop reading because it’s very sensitive. Also I am not in a dark place—this is just how I think back on 2017. :)

My now annual year-end annoying rant about how the year was; take note this is just ‘our’ viewpoint not the general public. As a little crab in a big ocean of anything but shy—I’ll be “honest”(Waste. People see what they want to see.) and even have a say on sensitive trends this year. Bear in mind that I have Shane Dawson’s voice in my head while writing this. HashtagNotSpons.

Coming into 2017—we’ve been more open to the idea of having depression and anxiety,adhd and even ocd and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is coincidental that it’s becoming a “trend” or news started to shed light about mental illnesses at the beginning of the year. I shouldn’t even call myself as someone with “depression” because I definitely did had a very dark phase somewhere in the summer but when life started to kick-in again—I didn’t wake-up feeling sad for no apparent reason, or just feeling useless and numb every morning(was that depression? I don’t really know). But since it has finally been talked about—believe me even I shrugged away the ‘mental illnesses’ articles I used to scroll down to just because I’ve never been in a phase similar to what that felt like or just not open to admitting I have. People talk about depression A LOT and they don’t even know a single ounce of what it is—it is ignorance of just BS but that’s alright I guess? At least it is being talked about with the “Keep Going” movement or all the support and all that.

Also to the hoes(again Shane’s voice talking) who thinks it’s ‘easy’ to turn-off depression just like that? Then why wouldn’t they have done that? You think musicians or comedians wanted to have depression all their lives?—nope.

I never wanted to make an essay about this because issues like this is deemed taboo and society here doesn’t really take it seriously and they look at you differently like you’re not “normal”(What really is normal?). So people who are suffering from depression, or anxiety, adhd, ocd or any other mental issues; I want you to know that it’s okay to be different, yes it’s hard and makes life more challenging and all that but you all don’t owe society anything other than kindness. You don’t owe them to turn-off your depression just cuz they want you to. And let’s be real—I’m quiet, shy, and very weird(sry just me) so bullying has definitely happened to me; yes embarrassed to admit that when I was younger but 2017 has been very eye-opening. So bullying is a norm—it happens everywhere at any time. I personally don’t think ’13 Reasons Why’(I haven’t watched it sry) as impactful as it is won’t fully make bullying disappear or anything in protest of bullying would but at least it is being talked about and acknowledged and you only hope for the best. I brought-up bullying because as much as how I was bullied growing-up—I NEVER(take note) thought of suicide because as much as how I was that kid who kind of hated life and felt no self-love AT ALL…I always deep down loved my life and wanted to succeed and build something with myself and maybe change the world someday. But I DO understand people who are so stuck in a dark phase that they can’t get-out of and feel the only answer is suicide—it’s not that hard to imagine why they would ultimately come to that conclusion. And I understand people who say that people who commit suicide are ‘selfish’ because they are leaving behind people who love them and a world for them but also I understand why they would snap(It’s a cruel world out there). This isn’t a letter to people who are in a dark place because this would be a HORRIBLE letter to them but just an observation of how majority of society sees things that are happening. But I do want people in a dark place right now to know that as cheesy as it sounds—It really does get better. Believe me it does. I’m rooting for you all and you’re all loved. :)

Now let’s talk about Hollywood—I’m just a dumb 20 year old girl and have no say in the world in any matter but THIS year it was a lot to take-in. The continued Hollywood name-drops and MeToo movement was so overwhelming as the second-half of 2017 tackles more suppression and hurt. I’m just very fascinated by Hollywood—and no I’m not talking about the TV shows or Movies but the actual Hollywood that’s had so many conspiracy theories and all that sheyt(I am slowly becoming more open to this fascination bcuz Shane Dawson is Kween). They always say sex and money go together and I did always visualized Hollywood as a kinda gross place because it is all rooted in power. Now tbh I never knew who HW was before all this sheyt but hoe I surely know him now—and this flood-gated to all these name-drops every-single day and we’re all SHOOKT(well some aren’t) but either ways it had to take someone to speak-out to FINALLY have this issue talked about which is apparently just a normal thing. Now sexual harassment; I don’t know why I’m talking about this and I definitely don’t know how those people feel…just to be clear. But you can’t talk about 2017 without talking about this—and honestly how can you NOT talk about it? I’ve read few articles and all but not the full details so I’m still blurred with all of it but I will say that my biased self was VERY affected by the ‘Kevin Spacey’ one because let me tell you that “American Beauty” is and still is my most beloved movie of my whole existence. Funny story when I was young we bought a local disc filled with random movies—now we thought we clicked on “American Pie”(don’t judge me with your Fifty Shades of Grey minds) but we ended-up sitting there watching “American Beauty” on a random rainy afternoon and I was dumb and I didn’t care about films back then but THAT exact day changed the way we see everything—it was the day I fell in love with filmmaking and ultimately my TV Show obsession started(How can you judge me but not the kdrama ppl? I never judge them?). I love films(GREAT ones) and TV shows that makes you fall in love to the point of binging the whole series in about a few days. It’s this passion for this art that makes us forget about our anxiety and serves as an escape from reality for a while. But going back to the Kevin Spacey allegations—I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little bit but he did handled it poorly and as an actor I still honestly do love him…as a human being maybe not so much anymore but oh wells. And I recently just watched Dustin Hoffman being grilled by John Oliver and it was amazing—this issue makes me so conflicted on SO MANY aspects. I understand that most of them happened decades ago but I also understand how these women/or men feel when those they alleged doesn’t acknowledge it happened—I get the anger and frustration and need to feel empowered. Also the “people who knew”—this one conflicts me the most. Now I won’t say that saying something is big act of bravery but I will say that not saying anything is a great act of cowardice. I don’t think that shunning them away from the rest of the world is the way to go though and also as much as how most of them are men—I do not at all support hate on men in general. Because they can be a bunch of sexist hoes but there are good men out there. This issue makes me overthink so many aspects of every situation and that’s why this is all over the place because there’s too much to say really. So I’ll just say that I live very far away from Hollywood but this break in silence and movement has personally made me love myself a little bit more. I don’t know what the connection of this to my journey of self-love but for some unearthly reason—we ended-up loving our self by the end of 2017. I love them, I’m happy for them and I support them. I never think we’ll fully achieve that “perfect” society; it’s impossible but we are moving forward and that’s what’s important. Hollywood should clean up a bit for a while. I truly believe this shifted society and made people think—so Keep Moving Forward Kweens. <3

*Also “Ally McBeal” would have had one hell of a ‘MeToo” episode but then I realized they already did. (Season 2, Episode 12 “Love Unlimited”. YOU’RE WELCOME).

Also I forgot to mention they still have an orange for President. Very consistent BS literally every single day on my timeline—Yea…orange should be imPEACH(get it? LOL I’ll stop).

And not to mention that I’m very late on this fandom but watching Youtubers this year definitely change my life. Too many on the list to name but honestly I’m very thankful I randomly clicked on one video one day and opened-up a whole world for me. :D <3

I wanted to tackle so many things but I just realized that it would take A LOT of time to even process everything that has happened this year. I wanted to tackle every episode of Black Mirror S4 and how much it’s connected to reality but that would take-up a whole book so nope. I believe that Charlie Brooker said that 2016 was like a long episode of Black Mirror but 2017 definitely takes that title now. I will say that people online are .0000000001% of who they truly are. Human beings is a very complex species that would take a lifetime to decipher. That’s all.

As I write this I didn’t realize how long-a*s it was gonna be but then again A LOT happened in 2017—honestly the worst and best year of my life. It started off very dark and feeling lost and useless but slowly believe me it got better—for someone like me who always wanted everyone to like me even though honestly they could give a rat’s a*s about you…well young dumb me realized to f*ck that and give myself self-love finally after 20 years. I still overthink some things and I have gotten into public breakdown this year—NEVER thought that would ever happen but hear me out; a man who you don’t even know being a sexist chauvinistic waste of a person exposing all his power and D*ckhood everytime you come by DESERVES a little shouting back in his life. Dear man, I don’t hate you but you did need a little ultimatum even once in your life—I wanted to grow from that and I wish you will too. Anyways ultimately the biggest learning from this year is growth, development and self-love(this feels amazing I promise you). I still got flaws and I will always have flaws—I have failed so many times in my life and a biggest lie is to say I won’t fail again but you do good and you be better in the process. Don’t be afraid to be imperfect. I also want to thank my patient family for putting-up with me—they are everything to me plus our dog makes me instantly happy to be alive.

I’m very preachy but last message to humanity—continue to evolve where people don’t have to “come-out” anymore because it’s 2017(or 2018?) it shouldn’t be an issue anymore right? Plus people from the LGBTQ+ are like any one of us—and if your argument is because you’re “Catholic” then your reason is invalid and ignorance. The color of your pigment shouldn’t matter. Having no make-up shouldn’t matter. Being a plus size shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. Being different is beautiful. And having a different outlook on life shouldn’t be deemed indifferent. LoveWins. Always.

And with…thank you 2017. Cheers 2018! <3

Happy New Year y’all!!!

My quote every New Year’s Eve:

“If you think back, and replay your year - if it doesn’t bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted.”–by Biscuit <3

And Don’t You Forget. That Life is Beautiful.

*inserts VERY random things that makes me happy and think Life is Beautiful*