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suiana · 1 month

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"Rewind?"

As a patient in a hospital, you swear that you're living the same day over and over. However, your doctor assures you that you're simply hallucinating.

Warnings: manipulation, obsession, classic yandere stuff idk, gn reader

[Day 2]

A warm breeze kisses your skin gently, the smell of freshly cut flowers as well as sanitized equipment invades your senses as you rub your eyes and let out a soft yawn.

Waking up in the same hospital bed, you smile as the thought of getting better fills your thoughts. Yes! A brand new day! You can already feel your body getting better and better!

"I can't wait to finally leave this place..."

You mutter to yourself, smiling softly as a soft knock comes from outside. You feel your heart race as the sigh of someone familiar enters, a small paper bag of baked goodies in one hand as he smiles down at you kindly.

"Doctor!"

"Well hello to you too, y/n."

You greet cheerfully, beaming at the handsome doctor who walks over to you with a smile who greets you back with a soft smile. You feel your heart warm slightly at him, butterflies in your tummy as he comes close to you.

Doctor Anthony Eurwen.

That's who he was. A genius young man who became a doctor at the age of 24. He was highly respected in the medical field, having achieved so much at his young age and right now, he's your doctor. Well, he has been for quite some time now. You suppose 3 months now?

He takes care of you personally and you wouldn't have it any other way. Why would you? A genius doctor caring for you one on one! You would have to be a fool to pass up this opportunity! Not to mention the fact that he was quite dashing...

Neat black hair along with brown eyes that shined golden under the sun, his facial features were no joke.

You were sure he had both girls and guys chasing after him. I mean, he was very handsome, intelligent, and had a nice personality. What isn't there to love about him?

...And that's why you developed a small crush on him.

Not like you'd ever confess though! You knew you'd be rejected in an instant, so there was really no point in trying in the first place. Plus, you knew that it was against ethics for a doctor to date a patient they're caring for. If you wanted to try your luck you'd have to wait until you were well enough to go home.

"y/n? You're spacing out, are you okay?"

You snap out of your thoughts, blinking repeatedly as your doctor presses a hand against your forehead in a worry. You immediately shake your head, laughing awkwardly as you feel your cheeks flush a dark hue.

"Ha-ha... Doctor I'm fine! Just... daydreaming is all!"

You choke out, smiling awkwardly at your doctor who purses his lips, clearly unconvinced by your words.

"Really? Hm... If you say so."

Doctor Eurwen mumbles, reluctantly taking his hand away from your forehead. You see him pause for a second, grip tightening on the paper bag of baked delights before relaxing.

"If you're not feeling well, you must tell me, y/n. I am your doctor and I just want you to get better."

He sighs, looking at you with a... loving? look in his eyes. Huh... loving? You never thought you'd describe his eyes as loving, especially towards you of all people! Haha, maybe it's a platonic type of love!

You nod at him, smiling awkwardly before looking at the small paper bag he held before gesturing to it.

"Doctor, what's that? Is that for me?"

You hum, staring curiously at the bag that smelled wonderful. You wonder whether he bought that for you or for himself. Or maybe he bought it for both of you to share?He'd do that once in a while when he was feeling hungry.

Doctor Eurwen looks down at the paper bag, smiling slightly as he places it on your table, opening it before taking out a small croissant.

"It's for both of us. I was hungry and bought a croissant for myself. Then I thought I'd get my favourite patient a little something as well."

He hums, pushing the small bag towards you as he munches on his croissant. You feel your heart flutter at his words, eyes widening as you look at the paper bag that carried another croissant in it. Ah, so he did get it for you! How nice of him...

"Thank you doctor, you really didn't have to. The hospital will get me breakfast later..."

"Don't worry about it, just treat this as a small snack."

He chuckles, smiling at you before he takes out his phone to show you a picture of his dog. Right! He had a dachshund dog that he treated like his own daughter!

"Milly gained some weight recently. She's been eating too much. I should reduce her treats."

The young doctor sighs, showing you some videos of his beloved puppy before looking at you with a cheeky grin. You can't help but feel your heart skip a beat at his attractive face.

"y/n, after you get better, we should go for a walk sometime. We can walk Milly together."

He proposes, looking down at his phone before chuckling softly. His cheeks were a soft pink, eyes clouded with happiness as you freeze in place, gulping nervously as you feel yourself grow hot at the sight of your doctor.

You try to answer, but your mouth was dry and your brain refused to cooperate normally, rendering your ability to speak useless at the sight of the handsome man. So you opted to nodding instead, laughing awkwardly as you avert your eyes elsewhere.

Damn, that was embarrassing as hell.

"Anyway, I'll be back with your medicine and check up later. Enjoy the croissant I got for you."

He mumbles, backing away as he pats your head. You watch as he leaves the room quietly, not mentioning anything about your flustered state. As soon as he was gone and the door to your room clicked shut, you let out a silent sigh of relief.

Thank god he left. You swear that you'd die from embarrassment if he remained in your presence any longer.

Shaking your head, you stretch slightly before looking out the window. What a beautiful day it was today! You can't wait for later and the following days to come!

...

A warm breeze kisses your skin gently, the smell of freshly cut flowers as well as sanitized equipment invades your senses as you rub your eyes and let out a soft yawn.

You immediately shoot out of bed, eyes wide as you observe your surroundings cautiously.

What? Flowers? You were sure that Doctor Eurwen removed them yesterday after the check-up...

You stare at the clear vase in confusion, looking around your room before the footsteps of someone familiar walks in. Doctor Eurwen! Maybe he'd know what's up!

"Doctor!"

However, you feel your heart sink slightly at the sight of the same small paper bag that you were quite sure you threw away yesterday. What the hell was going on? Oh, wait, the bakery was nearby so he migt've just gotten it again today, right? Haha...

"Well hello to you too, y/n."

What the- The same exact greeting too? Nah, this has to be some sort of joke. Right, a joke! He probably placed the flowers back there to play a little prank on you... Of course!

"Doctor, is- is this a joke? Haha... You did the same thing yesterday..."

"What? y/n are you alright? What are you talking about?"

Doctor Eurwen frowns at your words, walking towards you as he places the small paper bag down and reaches out his hand to touch your forehead. You can't help but flinch at his touch, looking up at him with a confused expression.

"Doctor, I swear you threw those flowers out yesterday! And you definitely bought the same exact pastries! That bag looks exactly like yesterday's! Why are you playing a prank on me?"

You whimper, looking at him as you look for him for an answer. Unfortunately, all you got was his concerned gaze and furrowed eyebrows as an answer.

"y/n, I didn't do that... Are you okay? Are you having delusions again? Maybe we should adminster you a different medicine..."

You stare at him in shock, not understanding what was happening. Wait, you were so sure that yesterday actually happened. Is this just a dream? But it can't be! Everything feels too real!

"Anyway, It's for both of us. I was hungry and bought a croissant for myself. Then I thought I'd get my favourite patient a little something as well."

Doctor Eurwen mumbles, gesturing to the paper bag of goodies on your table. But before you could protest any further, he says something which sends you into even more of a frenzy.

"Milly gained some weight recently. She's been eating too much. I should reduce her treats."

What the hell? That was the same exact line as from yesterday! You furrow your eyebrows at the doctor, chewing on your bottom lip as he talks about his pet dog before leaving the room, exactly the same way as yesterday. After he left, you couldn't help but throw the croissant into the trashbin.

Just what the hell was going on?

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere concept #yandere scenarios #yandere story #yandere doctor #yandere doctor x reader #gn reader #yandere oc x reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

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nolita-fairytale · 9 months

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don’t want to walk alone | carmen ‘carmy' berzatto | chapter three: september

summary: the moment we've all be waiting for: you and carmy get married.

warnings: swearing, eventual smut, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns

wc: 7.1k

listen to: the official don't want to walk alone playlist. there is SO much music in this chapter, so per the playlist, it starts with 'it takes two' and ends with 'love story.'

a/n: ok so this chapter was a behemoth to write and i am in fact in love with it. it's taken me days, really weeks, to get what i wanted out of it and i still feel like i could've gone deeper. however, i'm also kind of just happy to have this out in the world and give these two the wedding they wanted me to give them. each moment was curated and thought out, down to the music selection so this chapter is really just a product of me stewing on this idea for quite a bit of time. this is a part of my make my heart surrender universe so check out the masterlist if you haven't read the series! next up? their long weekend at the langham where we really get carmy x reader and moments for just them. please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.

part two | masterlist | part four

“It takes two to make a thing go riiiiight.”

You never pictured the night before your wedding like this, you think to yourself, as you listen to Fak sing, to the best of his ability in a somewhat-decent falsetto, along to the 90s hip hop classic.

Hell, you’re not sure you really ever pictured your wedding, but as you sit, surrounded by the people you love, you can’t see it going any other way than this. You watch as Richie rallies up as many people as he can for shots of Mallort, recounting that infamous morning at Ceres – a story he’s told over and over again, yet still manages to tell as animated and boisterously as the first time you heard it.

You groan as you watch Richie successfully convince Gary to take a shot with him, Gary’s face twisting into a look of disgust in response to the foul taste of the Chicago liquor, as Sugar reminds him that he should know better by now.

Carmy gives your knee a squeeze while simultaneously brushing off Richie’s attempt at shoving a shot in his direction. You laugh, a warm feeling filling you to the brim (could be the beer, could be being surrounded by your people), while Sydney jumps right into her best Rob Base impression.

It just so happens that your continuously put-off ‘let’s shoot for next month’ karaoke plans with a few staff members from The Bear coincided with plans to go out with friends before the wedding, which is how you’ve found yourself here.

After a lovely dinner at The Bear, your parents went back to the hotel for the night, insisting that you two go and have your fun. And as much as you would’ve loved to have brought your mother-who-has-a-doctorate-in-music-theory to karaoke night, she much preferred a good night’s sleep.

The crowded bar claps enthusiastically as Fak and Sydney wrap up their song, finishing their truly-made-up-only-for-comedy dance moves. You giggle, exchanging another glance with Carmy, as your friends take their bows, before shuffling off of the stage.

You hear the loud boom of the emcee’s voice through the microphone as he says:

“And up next we got… Tina!”

“Let’s go, T!” you shout through hands crowded around your mouth, in an effort to increase your volume of sound.

Carmy cheers, clapping his hands together as Richie enthusiastically chants Tina’s name while Tina makes her way to the stage.

“This is gonna be good,” Sugar nudges you, from where you are, seated in between the Berzatto siblings.

You nod your head in agreement before settling in a little closer to Carmy.

“The queen, herself,” Sydney remarks, gesturing towards the stage as she and Fak both return to your table. Sydney pulls up a chair next to where you and Carmy sit while Fak joins Richie on the other side of it. “And the ONLY act that could follow our exceptional performance.”

“Well, exactly,” you agree, playfully.

You exchange a laugh with Syd, while Carmy playfully rolls his eyes at the two of you.

The crowded bar room goes quiet as soon as Tina reaches the stage, smiling nervously as she grabs the mic.

“This one goes out to our favorite Jeffrey. And his lady Jeff,” she begins, earning a round of cheers and hollers from the group you’re with. Tina blows a kiss you and Carmy’s way, before nodding at the emcee to begin.

“I love you guys.”

You hear the beginning notes of the iconic Etta James tune, gasping in anticipation of her song:

“at last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song.”

You sigh in admiration, a hand over your heart as Tina continues to sing. Her voice is powerful, soulful – perfect for the song, really – as she continues into the second verse.

“at last the skies above are blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you.”

This time, it’s Carmy who steals a glance your way, his mind taken back to that fateful night at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, when he spilled his drink on you so many years ago. You’re entranced, enchanted, with Tina’s performance, and he thinks to himself, that maybe this is the best it’s ever going to get: being here with you, getting to love you, on the cusp of promising you ‘forever’ tomorrow.

Never had he expected that you’d make it this far. You’d always been so much cooler than him – well-liked, talented, funny – in and out of the kitchen, that he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to talk to you without vomiting all over your shoes out of nerves.

He can remember that night so vividly: standing there in the restroom of the bar he can barely remember the name of, while you stood across from him with the kind of glare on your face he swore could kill him. But you didn’t, and after many attempts to push you away, you asked him to be your friend, deeming it the day that started it all – a friendship that would teeter the line of friendship and something more, one that would bloom into the greatest love he’s ever known. As much as he hates to give Nate fucking Walker any kind of credit, he’ll the be first in line to say he’s glad the jagoff pushed him into you, setting it all in motion.

You can see that Carmy’s become distracted, lost in thought as the song finishes, something behind your favorite pair of blue eyes as the entire bar ignites into a huge round of celebratory claps for Tina’s performance.

You look up over at him, setting your beer bottle down on the table before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“I can hear you thinkin’ over there, Berzatto,” you tease him quietly, pulling him from his trip down memory lane. “It’s only the night before the biggest day of your life. Relax.”

Carmy rolls his eyes playfully in response, but before he can properly respond to your jab, the emcee has begun introducing the next karaoke singers to the stage.

“Alright. Looks like I’ve got uh… three singers here this time,” the emcee says, his voice cutting sharply through the crowd of remaining cheers. “Let’s welcome Sydney back to the stage with… Sugar and… the bride to be!”

“What!?” you exclaim, your eyes wide with surprise as Sydney jumps to her feet.

“But I didn’t-,” you begin to protest, as Sugar pulls you to your feet, tugging on your arm.

“Oh there’s no way in hell we’re letting you sit this one out,” Sugar orders you, as Sydney rushes to your side, ushering you towards the stage.

“Yeah this was your idea!” Sydney simultaneously reminds you.

“Babe! Help!” you call out to Carmy, only to be met with a shrug and a look that says ‘don’t think I could if I tried.’

“Oh, he’s in on this,” Sydney adds, which does explain why he didn’t even attempt to help you when your friends began dragging you out of your chair. “So don’t even think about asking him for help.”

“Wh-? But I don’t even know what we’re singing!” you continue to protest, looking from Sugar to Sydney as they push you onto the stage with them.

“Trust,” Sydney reassures you, her face serious, while Nat slides a sash over you (one you’ve refused to wear all night) that has the word, ‘BRIDE’ printed over it in huge gold lettering. You groan, sending a glare in Nat’s direction, even though you know it’s all in good fun.

You hear Richie shout, while Fak and Marcus clap loudly, and Carmy laughs, shouting words of encouragement your way.

You know there’s no use in putting up a fight, especially since this was your idea anyways, as you begrudgingly take one of the three wireless mics. Before you can ask once more, what the hell Syd and Nat signed the three of you up to sing, a distinct slide of piano keys comes in, lighting up the karaoke screen in front of you.

You grin immediately, in recognition, and to your two best friend’s delight, as they smile too, raising the mics to your lips to sing:

“friday night and the lights are low looking out for a place to go where they play the right music getting in the swing you come to look for a king.”

You laugh as your friends point towards Carmy on the last line. The three of you continue to sing the next part with reckless abandon, and all is forgiven.

You could care less about how the three of them conspired against you to get you up here. All that matters now is that you’re here, singing one of your favorite songs with your best friends, grooving and dancing to the ABBA classic, as you prepare to marry your best friend.

“you can dance you can jive having the time of your life ooh, see that girl watch that scene digging the dancing queen.”

"what good is love without any strings?" dayglow, 'close to me'

“Baby.”

Carmy groans in response, as soon as he hears the low hum of your voice.

“Good morning,” you say, a soft smile on your face as you watch him begin to blink his eyes open.

Carmy turns his head towards you, and he can’t believe he gets to wake up to this – to you – every single day.

“Hey,” he says back, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “Good Morning, sweetheart.”

“Guess what?” you ask him with the kind of glee and anticipation as a kid on Christmas morning.

“Hmm?” he hums, as you smooth a hand over his chest, your body pressed against his side as you look at your soon-to-be husband.

“We’re getting married today,” you grin, a giddiness that bubbles inside of you.

“‘S that so?” he mumbles, playfully.

“Uh huh,” you nod with a chuckle, this time playing along. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

Instead of replying with words, Carmy swiftly wraps an arm around you, before flipping you so that you’re the one on your back this time. You let out of a shriek and a laugh as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before adding:

“How could I ever?”

You shrug casually, “Weeeelll…. you just have so much going on up there.” You reach up to where Carmy hovers above you, brushing a golden curl out of his eyes as you continue your little dance.

“You know, between the restaurant and all that time spent being a genius,” you joke, bantering with Carmy. “Don’t know how you have the time to remember silly little things like wedding dates and what not.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Carmy laughs, shaking his head incredulously, before pressing another kiss, this one much deeper to your lips again.

And this time, as he pulls away, he gives you one of those languid looks that pierces right through your soul replying much more seriously this time with:

“I could never forget you.”

The way he says it with such conviction takes your breath away, and you know that Carmy means it. The double meaning isn’t lost on him either.

It’s one of the reasons he called you all those years ago to come teach Marcus; it’s why you ended up in Chicago:

Because as much as he tried, as damn good at compartmentalizing as he’d always been, he really could never forget you. Carmy shakes his head once more, a playful smile on his face as he leans down to kiss you again, wondering when the hell he got this fuckin’ sentimental. As he places his mouth over yours, you’re more than happy to switch gears into doing this dance for a little longer.

Carmy traces light shapes against your skin, his mouth pouring love into yours with every kiss, with every drag of his tongue. You gasp as he grinds his hips into yours, making it clear where he’d like this all to go. You pull away, only for a moment, giggling cheekily.

“Babe, I-,” you begin to protest, as Carmy chuckles, continuing to kiss you with zero intention of stopping “We… we’re going to be late.” This time, you feel his hands snake underneath the t-shirt you’ve been sleeping in, sending chills down your spine.

“And-, Carm-, I-, I have to do my hair for-, … and what about-, my parents, they’ll-,” you stammer through, your thoughts becoming all kinds of disorganized with the way Carmy’s lips move against your neck this time.

“I’ll be quick,” he answers with an aplomb you didn’t know he had in him.

“I don’t know if that’s the flex you think it is,” you tease him as his hands begin to cup your breasts, your body responding with an involuntary arch of your back.

“How fast I can make you come? I think it might be?” he murmurs against your lips, cockily.

“Carmy,” you moan, as he begins to pull your t-shirt up higher, making it incredibly difficult to think of your to-do list for much longer.

“Oh fuck it,” you sigh, deciding that, perhaps there’s no harm in getting the honeymoon started a little early anyways.

“That’s my girl,” Carmy whispers against you, grinning like a Cheshire cat as you surrender to him.

And he’s right about this too.

How fast he can make you cum deserves all kinds of bragging rights, awards – a Nobel Peace prize, even – and you’re not sure why you thought getting a head start on doing your hair would’ve been the better idea in the first place. You spend the morning in the arms of the man you plan to spend forever with as he writes love letters, promises to give you the world, declarations of adoration with the pleasure he brings you. And besides, you’re not running all that behind on time anyways – something you realize, as the two of you get out of the shower (a round two, really).

It takes a little longer than expected – mostly due to the fact that you and Carmy can’t seem to keep your hands off of each other – but against all odds, the two of you pull up to the courthouse right on time.

It’s a sight for sore eyes: you, running hand in hand with your husband-to-be in a white, halter-cut wedding dress while Carmy follows along, in a classic black suit – no tie around the neck – as the two of you hurry into the courthouse.

Sure, you could’ve tried to get here early – saved a little time and stress – but where’s the fun in that?

The two of you approach your families, hand in hand, to the sounds of your heels clicking against the marble floors of City Hall. The actual ceremony at City Hall, you’d both decided, would be family only.

Since you weren’t making a huge deal of it, you viewed this part as necessary paperwork, while the party itself could function as the ceremony and reception. But as soon as you see the look on your parents’ faces, you know this is more than just a few signed papers. You watch as their faces change, from impatient, waiting, eager, to in awe and emotional as you walk towards them.

You hear Ava shout your name, immediately dropping her dad’s hand as she runs towards you.

“Ava!!” you exclaim, bending down in your heels and white dress to scoop her up into a hug. You spin her around, just for a moment, before setting her back down on the floor.

“You look like a princess,” she says, completely in awe, her eyes wide as she looks up at you.

“You look like a princess, sweetie,” you reply, before giving her another hug. “And you know I can’t wait to hear your song, right?”

“I picked the best one,” she grins, proudly.

“I’m sure you did,” you reply confidently, with a playful wink.

“Oh-ho! Pay up, Rick,” Sugar mutters smugly, to Richie, as Carmy busies himself with greeting both of your parents.

Richie groans, muttering something profane as he not-so-discreetly hands Nat a $20 bill, earning a quizzical look from both of your parents that travels from Carmy and then to you.

“Sorry,” Richie apologizes, this time directing this one towards your parents as he holds up both hands, respectfully bowing his head.

You send a playful glare Richie’s way, earning a sardonic laugh from Natalie, as you push right past him and over to your parents.

“Oh sweetie,” your mom gasps, pulling you in for a tight squeeze.

“Hi, Mom,” you grin, as you hug her. “Dad!”

“My God, honey, you look beautiful,” your dad says, as it’s his turn next. You hug your dad, exchanging a few words about the morning, asking how they slept, how the hotel is, as your mom and Carmy hug it out.

This time, he turns his attention towards Carmy, so you release him, letting the two of them have their moment.

Taking your chance, while your parents are otherwise distracted, you make your way over to where Sugar and Richie stand.

“What? You guys were betting on whether or not we’d be late?” you ask Sugar, an eyebrow quirked in Richie’s direction.

“Listen,” Sugar sighs, cupping your face in her hands, endearingly. “You and Carm are nothing if not consistent.” You exchange a laugh with your almost-sister-in-law because you know she’s right. “And for the record, I bet that you’d be-.”

“Just in time!” the judge says, as he approaches the six of you, slipping his judge robe over his shoulders, black leather fold pressed against his chest. “You guys ready to get started?”

Carmy looks over at you, as if he’s waiting for you to take the lead here, and you nod, before the both of you turn back to the judge.

“Yes.”

“Great,” he smiles, clapping his hands together once. “Then let’s get you two married!”

"sooner or later, you'll find yourself right where you were, on the corner went looking for her, she had somethin' to tell you, she can't quite remember, but wait for a second, it always comes back to her, you always come back to her." -- the japanese house, 'morning pages'

And after dotting all appropriate i’s and crossing all necessary t’s, with one signed marriage license later, you, Carmy, your parents, Richie and Ava, Sugar, and Judge Thompson find yourself on the green roof of City Hall.

Carmy stands across you, his hands in yours, offering you a lifetime with one look from the most expressive blue orbs you’ve ever found yourself in.

“If you’d like to say something, if you prepared any vows… now would be the time,” Judge Thompson says, offering you and Carmy both the space to do so.

“Oh I think we-,” you begin, ready to decline the opportunity since you figured you’d save it for the reception.

“Actually uh, yeah. Can we?” Carmen interjects, sending you a look of reassurance.

“Of course,” Judge Thompson nods, giving you and Carmy the floor.

“Carm, I didn’t prepare anything for-,” you begin, but he’s quick to put your mind and heart at ease and he interjects with:

“It’s okay. I did.”

“Oh.”

You hadn’t expected this, since you both agreed you’d save any kind of speeches that may or may not happen today during the reception. But as Carmy’s palms grow clammier, a nervous look in his eyes as he searches for the words he’s practiced over the last few days, it becomes clear that he’s been planning this.

“As you know… I’m not always great with words,” he begins, almost apologetically, letting out a small laugh as he looks to Richie for reassurance. In turn, Richie gives Carmy a sympathetic nod, and you’re practically melting over the fact that he probably asked Richie for help with this.

Let it rip.

“I just uh-,” Carmy stammers, because he really, really wants to get this right. “Well, I’ll keep it brief.” He takes a breath, letting all of his nerves out on the exhale before beginning again.

Let it rip, buddy.

“I have loved you for so long – I think maybe since the day you brought me soup after I uh… you know, spilled my drink on you,” he states, earning the sweetest laugh from you, your friends, and family that came to witness.

“-- so I promise to love you for even longer, for forever. You changed my life.”

You exhale, trying your best not to cry right here and now, thankful for the mysterious powers of waterproof mascara.

“Jeez, no pressure,” you joke, dryly, before taking another breath, this time approaching your words with much more seriousness.

“Carmen. I’m so happy… that I changed your life,” you begin, cheekily, earning a laugh from your witnesses once more. “Because you changed mine. And I promise to love you forever.”

‘I love you,’ Carmy mouths to you, before nodding towards the judge to signal that you’re both done with your vows.

“Alright then,” Judge Thompson smiles, looking from you and then to Carmen, before uttering the question that will change the course of your life forever.

“I do,” Carmy replies, his voice even, sure, ready.

Natalie steps up this time, handing Carmy your ring, and you watch, teary eyed and full hearted as he slides it onto your left ring finger.

“And do you take Carmen Anthony Berzatto to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Judge Thompson repeats the question, this time for you to answer.

“Yeah, why the hell not?” you reply, earning a groan from your mother and a playful chuckle from your father.

“Yes. I do.”

At Richie’s encouragement, it’s Ava this time who steps up, handing you Carmy’s ring, with the sweetest most excited smile on her face as she looks from you to Carmy. You thank her, before returning your attention to Carmy once more. His eyes search your face, and there’s something so soft, so genuine in them that you think you’re going to cry as you help him put on his new piece of jewelry as well.

“Then by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” Judge Thompson concludes, contently.

“Should we-, do we kiss?” Carmy asks, looking from you to Judge Thompson.

“I’m just a civil servant but you may, yes,” he answers lightheartedly.

“Let’s go for it,” you shrug, taking a step towards Carmy.

Instead of answering, he smiles, stepping towards you before planting one on you in front of your friends and family that were invited to this brief ceremony.

While Sugar claps gleefully, Richie claps along muttering a ‘get a room,’ while you remind Carmy to keep it PG enough for your parents. You giggle, slowly pulling away from the kiss that begins the rest of your life with the man that you love.

“We did it, baby. We’re married,” you chuckle, in disbelief.

“Finally,” Carmy sighs, and you can see his smile from his lips to the crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

It doesn’t take long for your mom to usher both you and Carmy over to a spot in the garden she thinks will be best for pictures, just as the photographer arrives. She wasn’t wrong when she insisted you hire one, that you’d want to remember this day for the rest of your life. The photographer, who is incredibly talented, gets the shots needed up here in the garden, then downstairs, and outside, before you’re all off to Sugar’s place for the reception.

As you and Carmy sit in the car, having taken a separate one than your parents, you’re giddy with anticipation.

It’s all so surreal.

Never in his life did Carmy picture it ever getting this good, but as he looks over at you, your head resting on his shoulder, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, smiling to himself.

“We did it, sweet girl. We’re married,” he says, repeating your words from earlier.

“Yeah,” you grin, lifting your head off of his shoulder.

“We are, Bear.”

"give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose."

“No, Sugar! That’s not supposed to go out yet. Everything’s goin’ out family style. Let’s just take out the apps for-,” Carmy exclaims, stressed over the execution of your wedding reception-slash-brunch, because he just can’t help himself.

“Fuckin’ Christ, Bear!” she snaps at her brother. “Will you calm down and let us handle this?”

“I just want everything to-,” Carmy begins, his face blushing a shade darker.

“To go right. We know. And we know we’re just taking out apps, alright? Everyone else is outside, and everyone’s having a good time so just… relax,” she suggests, her tone serious because she’s just about to kick Carmy out of the kitchen.

Carmy shifts nervously, hyper-fixating on the happenings of the kitchen, his eyes tracking the movements of one of his caterer, Derek’s, sous chefs. It’s almost as if he needs to give himself a distraction as he asks, blankly:

“Do you uh… you think Mom is actually gonna show?”

Sugar pauses, the question throwing her.

“I… I don’t know. I called her yesterday. She never picked up. What do you think?” she replies, her voice quiet.

With your encouragement, you and Carmy had sent his mother an invitation to the brunch, only it’s been Sugar who’s followed up with her.

“We did what we needed to and if she doesn’t come, then she doesn’t come. I’m not pushin’ it,” Carmy had explained, justifying his actions, or rather, lack there of, to you.

She’s doubtful, but Nat can’t help the tiny glimmer of hope she has in her heart that Donna might show, even if she knows it’s unrealistic. In fact, her mom had barely been interested in stopping by as of late, ever since she’d told the Berzatto matriarch that she was pregnant. She keeps telling herself that it doesn’t matter – that it’s probably better if Donna doesn’t show – but it doesn’t help ease the disappointment she feels about the situation as a whole.

“Doubt it, honestly. Never even got an RSVP so,” Carmy shrugs, his eyes following one of the caterers as the woman plates a few Hors d'oeuvres on a large serving platter.

Before Sugar can say anything else about their mom, Carmy’s impulse takes over as he opens his mouth to give feedback to one of Derek’s assistants.

“Carmy!” she snaps, blocking his pathway with her body, before repeating one more time:

“Let. Us. Handle this.”

“I mean, are any of us actually surprised, Nat?” Sydney adds, as soon as she enters the kitchen from where she’s been outside in the backyard, in search of another plate to bring out. “He’s a control freak! We know this!”

“I-,” Carmy starts, knowing it’s no use protesting, as both Sugar and Syd begin guiding him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“C’mon, Carm. Why don’t you go see what your wife is up to?” Sydney suggests, emphasizing your new title, earning a snicker from Natalie.

“Who’s wife? This wife?” you ask, as soon as your feet hit the bottom of the staircase.

“Woah,” is all Carmy says. He can’t help but stare, gawking at you in your new dress.

You’ve changed out of your near-floor length wedding dress into a sleeveless white blazer dress that’s much more friendly to hanging out with your friends and family outside, kept your hair the same, and put on one of those super stay red lipsticks that you’re eager to put through its paces.

It’s as if time stops when he sees you, and Sugar and Syd both notice, using this time to retreat back to their duties. The only thing that can break his focus right now is the way that you let a carefree laugh fly from your lips, as soon as you see that Natalie’s using the future baby’s baby gate that Nat must’ve purchased early, to officially block Carmy from coming back to the kitchen.

“What?” Carmy asks, only to be met with a gesture towards what Natalie is doing.

He frowns, immediately seeing the baby gate his sister has put up.

“You know, I’m not a baby,” he pouts at his sister.

“Then stop acting like one!” she parries right back, before disappearing into the kitchen to help out your caterer.

Quick to console your husband, you wrap your arms around your neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“They’re only trying to make sure we have a good time, Bear,” you offer, sympathetically, only to be met with a heavy sigh because you know it feels near-impossible for him not to be in the kitchen.

“You trust Derek right?” you ask this time, referring to the caterer that Carmy hand-picked for your wedding.

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Okay. Then let’s go out there. Make our grand entrance,” you suggest, a playful smile on your lips.

“Yeah,” Carmy nods again, this time a little more sure about taking a step away from what’s happening inside the kitchen. You take his hand, leading him towards the back door that opens up to the backyard.

You’re truly amazed at what everyone involved has been able to do this morning, while you and Carmy were off at the courthouse getting married. Long tables pushed together and covered with tablecloths function as the main attraction of the you-and-Carmy-wedding-reception-brunch, filled with ceramic plates, printed menus, apps on serving platters, taper candles and flowers in all kinds of little to big vases.

The minute the two of you enter the backyard area that’s been transformed into a wedding venue, you’re met with cheers, ooo’s and aaaaah’s, claps, and congratulations by your friends and family.

“Sugar really knocked this out of the park,” Carmy says, in awe as he takes in the scene. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to trust, I guess.”

You nod, happy to hear the confidence in his voice as you agree, “That’s my guy!”

There’s a banner that hangs across a much smaller table, the one that holds the stunning wedding cake Marcus has made for you that reads, Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto.

“See? I told you I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Berzatto,” you joke with Carmy, as the two of you walk hand in hand towards the table.

“I think I like the sound of that more than I should,” Carmy smirks, a glimmer in his eyes that says ‘I can’t wait to get you alone.’

“Can’t wait for you to show me later,” you wink, referring to the long weekend you plan on spending with Carmy as a pre-honeymoon. “C’mon. We should probably go say hello.”

“So… you two married now or what?” Marcus asks, as soon as the two of you approach the table.

You hold up your left hand, showing off your new ring, earning grins and more cheers from your friends and family.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he celebrates, while Tina simultaneously and enthusiastically cries out: “Congratulations, babies!”

The plan is to divine and conquer. While you chat with Gary, Carmy lets himself become enveloped in Tina’s arms and praise, as the two of you make your way down the table saying hello to your guests: your parents, Marcus, Tina, Ebra, Fak, Gary, a few others from the restaurant, while.

Carmy’s glad you decided to keep this wedding small: close friends and family only, because he’s not sure he could’ve done any more of this. It’s just close friends from the restaurant and your parents. You’d even decided earlier that this weekend would be chill enough that you’d celebrate with Maya and Liz a few months later when you and Carmy stop in New York before the official honeymoon, planning another celebration with your New York people for later.

Besides, you don’t mind celebrating you and Carmy a few more times, after all.

Finally, you’re both able to settle into the empty chairs seated right next to your parents in the middle of the table labeled ‘bride’ and ‘groom.’ It’s a Saturday well spent, being celebrated by some of your favorite people in the world on a day you made a promise to your favorite person in the world. It doesn’t take long for everyone in the kitchen to join you at the table: Sugar, Richie, Sydney, and Pete, and once the meal is served, family style, you’re pulling up chairs and insisting that Derek and his team join you as well.

The menu is perfect, and you can see why Carmy’s been trying to get this guy to come work for him for so long. Next to Carmy’s, this carbonara might be your second favorite carbonara on the planet. After all the eating, drinking, and merry-making, it’s Richie who steps up to start the speeches, gently tapping a butter knife against a champagne glass as he stands at the table.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” he asks, his voice loud. Richie raises his champagne glass as he begins his speech with:

“Now as the best man and this Bobby Flay-motherfucker's cousin, I think I earn the right to kick this thing off, eh?” earning a laugh from everyone around the table.

“To Carmy and his much, much better half,” he continues, earning a laugh from everyone around the table. Your mom squeezes your hand under the table, and out of the corner of your eye you can see Sydney nudging Carmy softly as Richie addresses you.

“You once made me $150 richer.” You laugh, exchanging a look with your now-husband, as you fondly remember the day you returned to Chicago, only to learn that the entire restaurant staff of The Bear had been betting, not on if, but on when you’d return.

“You see, we all took bets – all of us – that you were comin’ back after that first week you spent here in Chicago, and you know why? I think it was obvious to any jagoff with a pair of eyes that what you and Cousin had was something special – something not to be missed, or overlooked, or skipped over. And thank God you two idiots woke up and figured it out yourselves. You did good, cousin. And I know your brother would’ve wanted to be here for this. I love you, man. I love you both.”

“To this very special day, and to the rest of your lives. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” everyone repeats, raising their glasses, clinking in celebration.

The upside to having a small wedding party is having a small wedding party, and the downside is that everyone who feels the need to get in a word does so. While Ebraheim waxes on about love as a metaphor, Marcus keeps his toast short, leading to the cutting of your wedding cake:

Vanilla bean cake, with a clementine curd, a swiss meringue buttercream, decorated with delicate flowers, citrus, and dollops of curd to finish.

Richie slips out with Pete momentarily, earning a few quizzical looks from both Carmy and Nat as she gets up from the table to make sure they’re not trading punches in the driveway. It’s not till Richie returns with Pete, carrying a rented little karaoke machine for Ava. Hand in hand, you watch as Natalie guides Ava up and out of her chair, and over to the head of the table, handing her the microphone.

“You ready, sweetheart?” she asks, earning a confident nod from Ava.

The beginning of the famous Taylor Swift begins to play, and you and Carmy exchange a knowing look as she begins to sing along.

“we were both young when i first saw you i close my eyes and the flashback starts i'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air.”

As Natalie and Pete watch on, Pete hugs his wife close to her, tears in his eyes as he whispers:

“This is going to be us very, very soon.”

“Yeah,” Nat nods, holding back her own tears as she notices how proud Richie looks, and how happy Ava seems to be.

It’s not that she wants Donna here. Realistically, she knows that it would be a nightmare, most likely descending into drama and chaos from the minute she walked in, but she can’t believe that her own mother didn’t come to her son’s wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurts more than she imagined, doing this, watching Carmy get married, having this baby with Pete, all without her.

Ava finishes her Taylor Swing song to a resounding and enthusiastic round of applause. Marcus cheers her on while you and Carmy share a soft, chaste kiss, welcoming Ava with open arms as she runs towards you.

“That was so good, baby,” Richie exclaims, when it’s his turn to scoop Ava up into his arms as you get out of your seat. Allowing Richie to sit next to Carmy while the two gush over her performance, you get up, eager to help put the karaoke machine away.

As she watches, Nat reminds herself that this is what family looks like – this is the family she wants for her baby – even if it means something, someones, are missing.

And it’s as if she can’t hold back her tears anymore, excusing herself as she jerks her body away from Pete’s grasp, hurrying back inside so as not to cause a scene.

“What just-?” Pete begins.

“I’ll go,” you assure him, having witnessed the whole interaction. “I-, it’s not you, Pete. I’ll go.”

It doesn’t take you long to find Nat, though she’s not where you expected her to be, having run all the way upstairs when you find her sitting on the floor of the baby’s nursery – one you helped paint and get ready over a month ago.

“Hey, everything alright?” you ask, as you gently push the door open.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” she sniffles, wiping tears out of her eyes as she realizes she’s no longer alone.

“Nat, what… what’s going on?” you ask her, joining her on the floor.

But it seems as if your question only makes it worse as her face crumbles once more, beginning to cry.

“Oh no! I-, Nat, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it even worse.”

“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just these… stupid pregnancy hormones!” she exclaims, frustratedly, earning a small laugh from the both of you.

She takes a beat, and then a breath, and then finally, she feels ready to tell you.

“It’s Mom,” she admits, even though she really doesn’t want it to be. “I just can’t believe she didn’t show. It’s stupid, I know.”

You nod in understanding, before scooting a little closer to her, “It’s not stupid! And I’m sorry. For the both of you, really. Carmy doesn’t want to talk about it but, I know he’s some combination of relieved and disappointed too.”

Sugar sighs, “Yeah that uh, that sums it up pretty well. About anything involving Mom these days.”

Nat takes another breath, and another beat, because she knows she’s safe to share this with you.

“I just… I’ve just been thinking a lot… with the baby and everything. About family. About motherhood. I mean, your parents are so great and I-. I’m just sad for us, you know?”

“I’m sad for you too,” you empathize, rubbing soothing circles on her back, before leaning back on both of your hands instead.

“God, I’m so sorry. It’s your wedding day and I’m causing all the drama,” Nat begins to apologize.

“Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for!” you interrupt her, quick to dismiss any notion of that. “You lent us your house and put together all of this in your backyard on top of accompanying us to the courthouse! You have nothing to apologize for.”

Sugar nods slowly, processing what you’ve just said, realizing that you and Pete have been such big role models of unconditional love for her.

“Wanna know what I think?” you ask, your voice a little more optimistic this time.

“What’s up?” she asks back, stealing a glance your way.

“I think… that now that I’m a Berzatto… and with your little Bear on the way,” you begin, painting her the picture. “We’ve got a whole new chance to write a new chapter for the Berzattos.”

She looks your way once more, because these are the words she didn’t know she needed to hear.

“And with that… we can make this… make our families anything we want them to be filled with love, and joy, and-, well, only a little drama because you know, you guys are… you. But… Sug. This can all start with us, you know?”

“You really think so?” she asks you, a hopeful look in her eyes.

“Yeah,” you answer, confidently.

She nods slowly once more, almost as if she’s letting herself believe them.

“Thank you. For checking in on me. For… this,” she says softly, sniffling again.

“That’s what sisters are for,” you repeat her words back to her, one’s that she’s said to you time and time again.

“We should probably get back out there,” Sugar suggests, sitting up a little taller this time.

“Yeeeaaaaahhhhh,” you sigh, disappointedly, this time making a joke as you continue with: “We don’t want to start any rumors about us running away together.

Nat snorts with laughter, thanking you for always making her laugh, as you stand up, making your way to your feet. You hold out your hands, helping Nat up to hers this time, before the two of you head back downstairs.

“Hey,” Carmy says, as soon as he sees the two of you. “Pete said you disappeared.”

“We were just talking about some stuff,” you reply, sharing a look with Sugar before releasing her hand.

“I’ll leave the two of you to it,” she says, before slipping out through the back door.

“Everything okay?” Carmy asks, his brow knitted together in concern.

You nod, “Yeah, she’s alright. How’re you doing?”

“Today? I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he replies, a smile on his lips that makes you melt.

“Damn right you are,” you reply, pressing your lips against his.

It’s a private moment for just you two, where you can kiss him like you want to, and you have to admit that the lipstick holds up. Wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands go to your waist, you propose a grand idea to your husband:

“Now that cake has been cut… what do you say… we spend a little more time with our guests, say our goodbyes… then we get our honeymoon started early? Think uh… our room at the Langham should be ready by now.”

“Thought we already did that this morning,” Carmy smirks, kissing you again.

You giggle, leaning your forehead against his, “You know what I mean, jerk.”

Carmy scoffs, shaking his head incredulously as he feigns hurt, “Married for a few hours and you’re already insulting me.” Instead of adding anything else, he simply pulls you in closer by your hips murmuring against your lips:

“Alright then, Mrs. Berzatto. Then let’s go say goodbye to our guests.”

“it's a love story, baby, just say, "yes" – taylor swift, ‘love story’

462 notes · View notes

the-24-7-lawlu-library · 4 months

Note

Can you rec me the lawlu must-read classics?

Also, thank you for creating this!! You rock!! ❤️

Hey there, thank you for your aks! We actually collected some classics already so here you go:

Into the Sea by shishiswordsman (E)

He looks around, but the Sunny and their broken off battleground are both vacant. His crewmen and the Straw Hats are far away already, probably congratulating each other for their triumph, which means… No one else saw it happen. No one else knows that Luffy’s — Luffy’s sinking. And Law can’t swim.

talk without speaking by trell (qunlat) (G)

They’ve been fighting for days, in that complicated sort of way where everyone wants to be on the same side and can’t be.

Not a Ball or a Chain by HollowIsTheWorld (T)

Trafalgar Law grew up hoping he would be one of the handful of people to never develop a soulmate mark. Now that that hasn't panned out, however, he's willing to settle for just never meeting them. Unfortunately for him, Monkey D. Luffy is a hard person to avoid.

Your Pain on My Skin by GinnyRose (T)

In a world where you share your pain with your soulmate, Law had spent many years believing his soulmate probably hated him. And he wouldn't have blamed them – Law had been sick, beaten, shot at and had gone through hell not just once, but several times from when he’d lost his family to when he lost Corazon and in the struggling years after that. But now, at 24 years old, he knew better. Not only did his soulmate hate him, they were bound and determined to pay back every scrape, bruise, and cut ten times over. When Law finally found the bastard, soulmate or not, he just might kill them himself.

Luffy's Law by JadedCoral (G)

Law thoughtlessly starts a rumour about himself, and it doesn't take long for it to boomerang right back to him in the form of a bloody-nosed Luffy.

The Twillight Phone by huliganships (T)

Ace has a shitty handwriting. Is that a 9? A 0? An 8? Who even knows. Certainly not the person that Luffy accidentally texted.

Acclimating by justira (E)

There are things that Law learns the hard way. One is that, if you involve yourself in Luffy's life, the Strawhats will involve themselves in yours. The other is that he is allowed to want, sometimes. In which Luffy is goodness, and light, and love, and the Strawhats all saw it coming.

no matter how much everything hurts by Tsume_Yuki (T)

In a universe where you can accept half the pain your soulmate is feeling, Luffy wishes he could take it all on.

Curiouser by xairylle (E)

Law wondered whether there was any sense to doing this—reading to a younger pirate stripped down to just wearing boxers straddling your equally as naked self. And expected to be turned on while doing so. [LuLaw]

and all the things that keep us here by trell (qunlat) (G)

In which there is an invitation, and Trafalgar Law gets a second chance. (Or: the one where they get married, in secret, at someone else's wedding, and make Usopp late to his.)

My Love For You Is Choking Me by ObsidionWingsofMidnight (T)

Hanahaki disease: an illness born of one-sided love that causes flowers to grow within the infected patient’s lungs. If left untreated it will suffocate the host and kill them. The growth can be removed through surgery, but it will also remove the feelings along with the flowers. It can be cured without side effects if the feelings are returned. Law wished he had died back under Doflamingo’s gun more than ever.

Dots by petiteneko (T)

It all started out as a joke. But, there was some legitimacy to it too… (Soulmate [AU] where your tattoo shows the first thing your soulmate thought when they saw you, but same universe)

What's A 'Closed' Sign Between Friends by teaandtumblr (G)

A tired, hungry surgeon drops in after hours once and Sanji doesn't have the heart to turn him away. What he doesn't expect is for his friend and this doctor to fall in love right under his nose. A 5+1 story.

heartstrings by hopipp (fancy2na) (NR)

A retelling of events had the Ope Ope no Mi given Law a little more than he bargained for. AKA: the red strings au that's probably been done already

Meat Cute by marimoes (T)

“Meat? I’m hearing you correctly? Your dog is named...Meat?” Law asks putting together everything for the first time. His mind swimming much like his dignity at the moment. The man laughs ruffling Meat’s ears, “Yeah. Meat. Because she’s red and white like a good marbled piece of meat.” “And your name?” Law asks, twisting water from his shirt. “Luffy.”

Stow Away Captains by xairylle (M)

Law sneaks into the men's quarters of the Thousand Sunny. Zoro contemplates on how to deal with it. And Luffy, well, Luffy is just Luffy.

Sating Hunger by xairylle (M)

At the end of the day, even with all the major blunders that almost cost him his life, Law decided that this alliance had been worth it. Until he fucked it up by not being able to hold himself back from kissing Monkey D. Luffy.

This Is What Personal Looks Like by JadeFlicker (G)

So Law had thought the Straw Hats had taken the battle with Kaidou as a personal vendetta for all the tears shed by Momosuke and all sorts of new Wano friends. The Hearts captain had been badly mistaken. Apparently, this was what personal looked like. (In which, Law and the Straw Hats will get angry for Luffy when he's not able to.)

Exchanging of the Hearts by KivaEmber (G)

Post-Dressrosa AU. All they did was exchange hearts, just to make the alliance 'til death did them part. It wasn't as if they were married or anything.

Falling by chenziee (M)

The timing for Law's heat couldn't have been worse; their attack on Doflamingo was just days away, and here he was, too busy fighting tooth and nail against hormones and disgust. Law would really rather jump into the sea and drown than deal with one minute of this.

-Mod Raiya

148 notes · View notes

crazyk-imagine · 3 months

Text

Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There

Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader

Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart

Word Count: 4,593

A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.

Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.

“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.

You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”

Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“

“Squirrely?”

“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”

You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.

Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.

Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.

The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.

The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.

You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.

His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.

You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”

He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“

You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”

“Fiancé.”

You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.

”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.

"I- she came to me and-“

You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”

“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”

Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.

Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.

You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”

Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.

Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”

He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”

She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”

“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”

“Why are you here?”

“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”

“And staying here?”

“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”

“To,” she gestures to the ring.

“That and be a husband.”

“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”

“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”

Meredith hands him a tissue.

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”

“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”

The two chuckled.

Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.

“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.

“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”

“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”

The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.”

“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”

“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”

A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.

“Can you teach me your sutures?”

You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”

She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”

“You really want to know?”

She hesitates to nod. “I… do.”

“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”

“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”

“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”

She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"

A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."

”Forever?”

You shrug.

The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.

You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”

Mark inwardly groans.

Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).

You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.

You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.

You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.

He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.

You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.

Everyone turns to you.

Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.

“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.

You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."

The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.

Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.

"I see you two still aren’t talking.”

“Shut up, George.”

“Right, yeah. Got it.”

You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”

“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."

He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”

“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”

“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”

“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”

You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.

Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”

You sigh, “does it look important?”

She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”

“Daycare or babysitter?”

“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”

You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”

“I have to take care of something.”

“What?”

“My daughter.”

The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.

You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.

“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”

Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.

The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.

Owen steps forward. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”

“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.

“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”

Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”

“When did he-"

“She’s coding,” Jackson interrupts.

“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”

Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.

“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.

He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.

They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"

The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"

April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"

He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.

He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"

The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"

"What room?"

"Sloan, you know I can't-"

He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."

The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."

"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"

Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.

He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."

"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"

"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"

"A fighter?"

"Yeah."

Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."

"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."

"Whose baby, is it?"

That's when things got awkward.

Meredith's eyes widen, "no."

She nods.

Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.

She reaches for him. "Dada."

No one knew what to do.

"Oh my god," the two women muttered.

He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.

The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.

Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"

He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"

She nods and lays her head down on his chest.

He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.

"She still loves you," Christina tells him.

He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."

"I was getting ready to leave."

"What?"

"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.

"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.

"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."

The woman nods.

"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."

"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."

Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."

"You tried to warn him?"

"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."

She chuckles, "that's ironic."

"Shut up, Yang."

"Go on."

"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."

"You're a manwhore?"

"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."

"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.

"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"If she'll listen."

Her pager beeps.

"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."

Derek nods and steps into the room.

"You hear all that?"

His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."

"Funny."

"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"

"So, she left without saying anything."

"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."

He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.

"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."

"Why?"

"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."

Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"

His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.

You slowly turn your head, spotting them.

The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."

You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.

Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."

"I wanted to call you so many times."

"I know."

"I wanted you to be there."

"Where?"

"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"

He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."

Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.

He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"

"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."

His heart swells at the sight of you two.

A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.

You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A quiet moment ruined by your ex.

"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"

He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."

You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."

"I would never."

The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.

"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.

Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."

Meredith stares at the two of them.

"You two are awful," April adds.

"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.

Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"

"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."

"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"

"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."

You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."

"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.

"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."

"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."

"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mama!"

You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.

This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.

He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"

You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."

"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.

"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."

He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."

You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.

He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."

"Really?"

"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."

"Good."

You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.

"I told you not to do anything. I got this."

You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."

"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"

"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to focus on the past."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."

You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.

"Are you sure about this?"

You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.

His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"

You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."

"No, it doesn't."

You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.

Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"

You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"

"Because you know better."

Your eyes widen.

"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.

"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"

You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."

Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.

He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."

You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."

"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."

"I left you with Bails, you were fine."

"I was not fine. I was far from fine."

You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."

"I'm not and you know it."

"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."

"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

"I said sorry, don't be like this."

"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."

You lean into him as you settle into his arms.

The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.

You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."

She holds her arms out for you.

You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"

She babbles a response. "Dada?"

"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."

"Maccheese!"

You chuckle, "yeah."

"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.

You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.

"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.

"Nothing happened-"

"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."

"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."

"Do you still love him?"

You hesitate to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"

"Because he was an adulterous whore?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen him with anyone else?"

"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"

"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I'm scared."

"So is he."

"I don't want to get hurt again."

"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."

"Christina?"

"Yeah?"

"You're wise beyond your years."

You run to him, pulling him into the break room.

He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."

You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.

"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."

He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."

Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."

You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."

"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."

"Us."

"You owe Mer and I money."

Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."

#greys anatomy #greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy imagines #greys anatomy fanfiction #greys anatomy fanfic #greys anatomy fic #mark sloan #mark sloane imagine #mark sloane imagines #mark sloane fanfic #mark sloane fanfiction #mark sloan fic #mark sloane x reader #mark sloane x you #crazyk-imagine

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rinstrumental · 9 months

Text

ellie gf headcanons

# modern au. im in luv with her. this is so long oh my god its an illness

did karate from 1st grade all the way up to high school and basically considers herself your bodyguard

immediately offers you her hoodie without a second thought when you show the slightest signs of being cold. she lets you keep it too, of course. what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t ???!!!!

she needs either your hands on her or her hands on you at all times. sosososo touchy and BIG on pda her kisses are inescapable. constantly has an arm around you or resting on your waist… the whole world needs to know. she’s actually insufferable i’m sorry but in the most endearing way ever how can you resist

“would you still love me if i was a ____???” she wants a serious answer too

genuinely thinks ur the prettiest person alive. which is kind of the bare minimum but she worships you truly

happy with any sort of date as long as it’s with you. fancy dinner? this is the only reason she keeps a suit and tie. staying in? what movie do you want, babe? running errands? she’s already waiting for you in the car!!!

speaking of cars she drives an old station wagon which used to be joel’s. ellie used to moan about how lame it was until you said that the back was perfect for sitting together during camping or stargazing…. and other activities too ;) wink wonk

gets flustered when she makes you flustered because you’re telling her that SHE did that?? she made u nervous??? shit man now shes blushing too

her love language is gifts she loves to spoil you with your favourite snacks and soft toys and even homemade gifts. she just wants you to see her in your room and have her on your mind as much as you’re in hers!!

it’s no secret that she’s an artist and it’s also no secret that her favourite subject to draw is youuu!!! her favourite thing to do is just have you sit across from her and draw what she sees

of course naturally that means she takes tons of pictures of you… to study for her drawings… and keep in her special photo album of you… and to look at when she misses you. Ofc

makes fun of you/teases you sometimes. she can be a mean bitch to other people but she would never actually hurt your feelings and you know that

ellie hates goodbyes. even if it’s after spending a full day together and you’re going to see her soon anyways… i just know she’s the kind of person who feels empty after hanging out with someone.

calls and texts about everything… and it’s always so cute :( she definitely has autocaps on

ellie: I drew you again!!

ellie: Hey babe I saw this funny bird it reminded me of u

ellie: I miss you so much. When can I see you again?

ellie: These cats r like us lol

keeps a pet gecko or something like that for sure. it’s you guys’ baby

her top two movie genres are horror and romance after that. the only reason romance is that high up is because it reminds her of you

does stupid romcom shit like hold a boombox outside your window. makes you mixtapes even though CDs are basically extinct (joel has a player thank god). corny pickup lines. asks you to be her valentine publicly. runs to your house in the rain. dances with you in said rain.

when she gets sick it’s like the end of the world omg… she needs u to be at her side 24/7 and hold her and keep her company and give her get well soon kisses, it’s essential to her recovery. doctors orders. he said it not her!

gets along so well with your friends and family. she does her research and takes this shit seriously! whatever it takes to make you happy because what’s better than watching your girlfriend get along with the people you love

she also takes her own family seriously - family time is important to her and she spends a lot of time with joel. it’s even better when you can join, some of her best memories are with the two of you

“i’m happy as long as you’re happy”

pet names galore. her personal favourite is just babe (classic) but when she likes others too (sweetheart, honey, darling etc she’s so cheesy it’s awful)

in conclusion she’s just a clingy sappy lesbian who’s absolutely head over heels for you. and you wouldn’t have it any other way <33

bonus: (these tweets that are so ellie)

#tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #ellie x you #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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nitpickrider · 6 months

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a bit silly, but if you had to fill an Avengers roster, who would you pick?

Wooof, oh me oh my. Let's lay down some ground rules before I do this. 1). Only people who have been Avengers at some previous point in time. Doesn't narrow it down a LOT but this list would be a jigsaw of my favorite Z-Listers otherwise 2). Limiting it to seven people. That's the magic number with superhero teams and it gives me a reason to stop

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: Sometimes you just cannot beat a classic and when it comes to Avengers line ups there is no one that I think is more integral than Captain America. The pathos that he brings to the table no matter what character he is interacting with is palpable and reading through his first big volume has given me a deep respect and love for the character. He's our leader for sure, the axis of solid, steady service I can hang my weirder picks on.

Dr. Walter Newell AKA Stingray: You all saw this coming and don't act like you didn't. One of my favorite if not my FAVORITE Marvel Characters of all time. He's a doctor with an interesting specialization. His "I'm only a part time superhero" hangup is even funnier and more interesting if forced into the limelight on THE hero team. Not to mention he comes with his own swanky Hydrobase we can use for an HQ and with his wife and four kids running around underfoot we have the kind of domestic adorability I think any good team needs.

Miguel Santos AKA Living Lightning: The first time I can ever remember reading about a comic book hero being gay, as just like, part of who they are. A tiny detail in their rich inner life. Not to mention the less respect a character gets the more I want to lift them up on my shoulders. He could be the sweetheart with a little chip on his shoulder from not getting the respect his objectively awesome powers objectively deserve.

Angelica Jones AKA Firestar: Something you may not know about me. The first piece of media that really opened my eyes as to the potential and depth and scope of the Marvel Universe was Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. It was cheesy, it was cheap and yet Angelica was the first character that I felt SPECIAL for knowing and caring about. She's happy, she's passionate, her simple classic costume kicks ass and the New Warriors need their goddamn respect. 'Nuff said.

Sersi, Just Sersi: What little I have seen of this character fucking FASCINATES me. This woman is chaos incarnate. It's like she is actively making on the fly decisions with everyone she meets whether she's going to kill them, screw them, turn them into a small mammal or some combination of the three. She's *Instant Plot Complication Just Add Water* because she saw a butterfly and that somehow translates to her blowing the entire team's cover.

Dane Whitman AKA The Black Knight: I love everything about him. I love his vibe, I love the fact that his backstory is built partially around recontextualizing the lore of a mostly forgotten Atlas fantasy comic. I love that he has a wickedly evil cursed blade that comes with the side effect of basically holding him hostage to a heroic moral code. And on top of that he's a dorky intellectual who can't see a social cue if it's blaring at him from oncoming traffic.

Jennifer Walters AKA She-Hulk: ...I do not feel the need to explain or justify this choice. YOU know Jen is awesome. *I* know Jen is awesome. She-Hulk does not need justification. She shows up in stories and makes them better by existing. Also yes this is the bodytype I'd use. Yes, I have an addiction. No, I don't feel the need to explain that either. RESERVISTS: Characters I really like but either don't know enough about or don't think they make good Avengers

Marc Spector and System AKA Moon Knight: One of my favorite dudes but does NOT play well with others. Was interesting for about 10 seconds as a member of the West Coast team but I'd prefer he never touch the ranks again.

Flint Marko AKA Sandman: Marvel did Sandman fucking dirty by never letting him fully reform and be the good guy. I want Sandman to be the good guy dammit

Maria de Guadalupe Santiago AKA Silverclaw: I know literally nothing about her outside of reference books but her powers are dope and I dig her vibe.

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doctorcrowleywho · 1 year

Text

December 6. Christmas Cuddles (10th doctor x gn! reader)

25 Days of Ficmas - Day 6

Christmas Cuddles (10th doctor x gn! reader)

Word count - 1537

Warnings - None just tons of fluff

Pairing(s) - 10th doctor x Gn! Reader

Summary - Movie night leads to the cutest moment

Traveling with the doctor made everything a little bit more complicated. There were times that you thought you had died and gone to heaven because surely this wasn’t your life! Surely you weren’t fighting aliens and monsters and everything in between. But, somehow it was your reality and you loved every last second of it.

You loved being able to save all of those innocent beings, you loved the thrill of running for your life hand in hand with a handsome timelord, you loved the excitement of waking up wondering what new planet you were going to wind up on, and you especially loved your doe-eyed, sticky uppy haired timelord.

That's right you had fallen head over heels with the Doctor. There was something so utterly fantastic about him, that you couldn’t help yourself. He was like the painting museums kept hidden in the very back, not admired by everyone but the ones who saw the beauty in it enough to stay were truly lucky. The TARDIS never took him to where he wanted to go, but only where he needed to go. And, she took him to you- you of all the creatures and being in the universe. You felt lucky enough that he picked you as his companion, although he would always say that you picked him.

This was the biggest mystery in the whole entire universe to you. But, you decided to thank your lucky stars she had deemed you worthy of him.

Your relationship with the Doctor was interesting to say the very least. There would be fleeting glances, small touches, and most importantly…movie nights. Because, if the Doctor was one thing- he was a sap when it came to seeing you happy.

Nothing seemed to make you happier than having a weekly movie night. A simple time where you two were able to stay in and enjoy each other's company and simply be in the stillness. At first, the Doctor absolutely hated it. He was a time lord for heaven’s sake! He was meant to be running about and fixing things, but you quickly changed his mind. Especially once the Christmas season rolled around.

There you were in your very fuzzy large hoodie in your absolutely favorite color, or your “movie night hoodie” as you deemed it. You had made yourself a makeshift fort amongst all the blankets the Doctor seemed to have in his movie room. Even though you’ve spent what felt like years with the Doctor and his little blue box, you still find yourself constantly surprised by new things. The excitement seemed to practically burst out of you as you wiggled in your spot on the very large couch.

The best part about tonight was that it was your turn to pick the movie. Last week the doctor picked ‘A Muppets Christmas Carol’, which he claimed was an utter classic (and he was absolutely right). It was honestly adorable to see him get so passionate about something for you, something so very human. It warmed your heart to see someone who had the universe at his very fingertips willing to pay attention to you and what you liked.

Tonight you decided to pick one of your all-time favorite Christmas movies ‘Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer’. This was the movie you were brought up on as a child, and even though your childhood had some rocky patches in it this movie always brought up wonderfully warm nostalgia.

Slowly your head moved back and forth as the title credits began to play. You could practically feel the Christmas spirit swell up in your belly like some kind of Christmas magic. Funny how pure moments from our childhood can make us believe in magic all over again.

“Please tell me you didn’t start it without me!” The Doctor peaked his head into the room as he carried a tower of snacks with everything from popcorn, candy, and even some perfectly balanced mugs of hot cocoa in his arms.

Your eyes flicked over to him as they widened with anxiety. “Doctor I swear if you drop any of that-” you sighed as he raised an eyebrow at you before setting everything down on the coffee table. Smugly he gave you a ‘you were saying’ look as you picked up the blankets and he snuggled up right next to you.

Sometimes you forgot just how affectionate this regeneration of his was, and honestly, you didn’t mind. His ninth regeneration was kind, but never like this. He never curled up to you like a cat desperately seeking warmth. But, ten on the other hand…well he was a completely different story.

“No of course I didn’t start it without you, the opening credits are just a mile long, so I thought we’d get those out of the way,” you said as you kept nodding your head along to the music

“Ah, how smart of you, no wonder I chose you as my companion.” he hummed wrapping one arm around yours and resting his head on your shoulder. When he was this close it made you want to confess every last thing you felt for him. But, something always held you back and you always let it.

Trying your very best to ignore how fast your heart was pounding you turned your attention to the movie and forced yourself to get lost in it. Everything was going perfectly until-

“What do you mean they won’t let him be a dentist!” The Doctor exclaimed sitting up straight with concern in his eyes. He looked like a golden retriever who just lost his favorite ball, and it made your heart utterly melt.

“Well they want him to be an elf just like everyone else is, he has to make toys for Santa, or else no one thinks he’s any use.” you tried your best to explain but it seemed fruitless.

“NO USE?!?! Y/N dear there’s plenty of use for a dentist at the North Pole! Do you know how much sugar those elves digest on a daily basis?” he said taking a couple of sips of his hot cocoa.

“Oh just watch the movie spaceman.” you playfully rolled your eyes as you patted the spot next to you again, and happily, he settled back down. This time resting his head in your lap. Oh the things this alien does to you

A little while later you were on the part where Rudolph decides to sacrifice himself if needs be and rescue his hometown. Glancing down at the Doctor a small smile formed on your lips as you saw how intently he was watching the movie. Absentmindedly, you started to play with his hair. Then all of a sudden you heard a soft “Y/N?” and you froze.

Gently, he reached up and grabbed your hand encouraging you to keep going “No no please don’t stop, I um erm um I like it.” he choked out awkwardly but it warmed your soul nonetheless. So, you kept going and could practically feel him relax into you.

It was peaceful moments like this with the Doctor that you’d always valued. There was nothing quite like being able to sit on the couch and make the man who always runs relax for a couple of moments. Not every person can claim they’ve managed to tame the Doctor, but you proudly have. Even if it was just a little bit. To you, it meant the entire world- no the entire universe.

There you two laid, a tangled mess of Christmas warmth and love, even if it was just platonic love you were okay with that. For to be loved by the Doctor in any fashion was the greatest kind of them all. As the end of the movie played neither of you dared to move from your spots. Too scared you’d break the magic that seemed to be surrounding you.

“Doctor-”

“Y/N”

You two blushed a light pink as you laughed at the awkward moment. Slowly, he picked up his head from your lap moving closer to you. His eyes held a mixture of fear, love, worry, and adoration. Somehow you could tell that it was all for you. After a long silence, he finally blurted out something he’d been dying to ask since you bumped into the TARDIS.

“Can I kiss you?”

Without even thinking you quickly nodded moving impossibly closer to him. Your heart was racing faster and faster, and to be honest you were a little concerned that you’d have a heart attack. Then, as if out of a dream, it finally happened.

His lips collided with yours in a beautiful sympathy, and you knew for sure then that you truly loved him. His kiss was everything you ever dreamed about and even more. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his hand got tangled up in your hair as he smiled in the kiss.

As you two pulled back for some air you both wore the same dopey love-sick grin. “Merry Christmas Doctor,” you whispered gently.

“Oh merry Christmas my shooting star,” he replied stealing another kiss from you…and another….and another….and- oh you get the point.

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jolieblack · 16 days

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Jolie’s thoughts on

Silver Blaze Part 3 & 4

(Sherlock & Co. podcast)

No, I tell a lie, because I still have stuff from part 2 that I wanted to point out, too:

I‘m a tiny bit obsessed with John's "doink - doink - doink" sounds after they cross the river.

I also laughed out loud at the Romans clearing out at 3:45.

And there’s a very sweet moment, too, that I didn’t really notice before, when they look at the victim‘s body with Inspector Gregory and Watson goes on about possible reasons why a single blow with a stick could have inflicted such damage, osteoporosis etc and Gregory thinks he’s just rambling, but Sherlock absolutely knows he’s not and nudges him back on track with that gentle "What are you thinking?" Because it’s not just John who wants his Sherlock to shine on a case, it’s the other way round, too!

And I honestly hadn’t noticed until the third relisten that at the very end of part 2 when they’re sneaking around Mapleton, John is basically solving the whole effing case just when Sherlock turns up and interrupts him!

Well, on to part 3 & 4!

Sherlock getting a black eye this time rather than a broken nose, yay, we love variety in our hero whumps. I could listen to entire episodes of Sherlock getting hurt and John looking after him.

Sherlock and John faking a legit job to get the information out of the local bookie was such a classic ACD scene, the way they work together completely seamlessly in situations like that is so great. I’ve also seen it pointed out that Sherlock can be so awkward with people when he’s being himself, but he’s always so confident and at ease when he’s just playing a role and being completely fake (without needing a break afterwards or telling us it’s exhausting, too!). That’s a totally fascinating contrast.

Part 2 had John accidentally solving the mystery of the murder weapon. Part 3 has John basically paving the way for the dog deduction. I love a competent Doctor Watson who knows exactly what he’s doing, but I also love it when he’s truly being Sherlock’s famous conductor of light.

John being canonically a Bond fan, love how they’re still incorporating so much BBC Sherlock fanon into this show. I‘m now eagerly waiting for Moriarty and Colonel Moran to be hot young men who have hot sex with each other, too.

"No more than you’re being human" - "Me more than you, mate" - Can ALL the John Watsons of this world please instantly stop dehumanising their Sherlocks and calling them robots or machines. I can accept it maybe up to their third case together, but in any adaptation that I know, the Sherlocks have proved themselves to have a big heart and to have it entirely in the right place, too, by case 4 at the latest. I don’t like to see any Watson regressing to the cheap laugh of "Sherlock’s a machine and doesn’t have feelings" after that, and I dislike it especially in this version where we get a Watson who is particularly well-attuned to and tolerant of Sherlock’s neurodivergence. Sorry, rant over.

Hey and I was right in my prediction that Sherlock didn’t drop John's phone at Mapleton Stables by accident but left it there on purpose! Even if I assumed it would be recording audio evidence rather than be used as a tracker. Which of course begs the question, did Sherlock really manage to somehow connect his phone to John’s and enable tracking in the very few seconds he had before Silas Brown turned up with the gun? Or is he always tracking John‘s phone as a matter of course? And if the latter, does he do it out of care/worry for John‘s safety and wellbeing, or is he doing it in a creepy/possessive way?

Anyway. After listening to part 4, I must admit I am somewhat underwhelmed by that bit… I don’t know what it is, but parts 1-3 are positively bursting with humour and action, while by part 4 I felt they had kinda lost the momentum. There’s nothing really wrong with it, and maybe it feels different when you’re not familiar with the original story and every revelation is truly jawdropping and not just ticking a box. Maybe I‘m also a little underwhelmed that the final denouement at Aintree is so… private. The horse whose disappearance - we are to believe - has GRIPPED THE NATION and is THE news story of the year is just back, and everyone’s just fine with it? No comments from anyone involved in the case? No congratulations from the owners? No bittersweet relief from Edi and Ned? No genuine relief from Fitz? No acknowledgement from the official police? No tearjerking speeches in parliament? I‘d say if you start a story on that kind of epic scale, you shouldn’t end smaller. I really wanted all those loose ends nicely tied up and got… none.

I also either missed something important, or we never really learned the reason why Mapleton kept hiding Silver Blaze? I see how they took him in at first, maybe thinking they’d get a big reward or ransom, or wanting to pass him off as one of their own, but the way it is, they just hide him for no reason and then give him back for no reason?

Am I being too critical?

The thing with the "S" and the "5" was clever though. And poor John and his abysmal Air BnB rating was hilarious, too.

#sherlock & co #podlock #sherlock & co podcast #sherlock and co #episode notes #silver blaze

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rifki16 · 1 month

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Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5

Photo Credit : Love is Better the Second Time Around Promotional Twitter Account | https://x.com/koi_nido/status/1775007525647372784?s=46

Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia and Disownment. I’m not going that deep into the topics which include homophobic and depictions of being disowned, however, I’m just trying to be cautious.

Love is Better the Second Time Around Episode 5 is OUT! Let’s get into the short review right away. SPOILERS DUH.

As expected, of course, the couple broke up even though Haru just admitted that he liked Takashi – as well as agreeing to “go out” with him. I want to talk about four topics from this episode.

First theme: Disownment in Japan

I mean, as it turns out, being disowned in Japan is not only caused by homophobia. I think this has been depicted many times in several Japanese TV medias which I have encountered – I think, in general, not achieving the family’s expectations of you will make you really isolated from the family. However, HUGE DISCLAIMER, this subtopic is not going to talk about whether it is more likely to be disowned in Japan compared to other countries nor is it going to delve into the psyche of Japanese families, as well as their internal dynamics, and why they choose to disown instead of choosing other methods in showing their dissatisfaction or repulsiveness towards their kin. This subtopic will focus exclusively on being disowned in Japan by your family because you have been outed as a cis-gay man through the lens of two Japanese BL works: Love is Better the Second Time Around episode 5, Tokyo in April is… episode… I guess the whole series.

To clarify, I’m talking about the act of disownment of a child or an adult by their family, so it’s not about a baby, newly born or not, being abandoned by their mother because of a myriad of reasons. It’s quite hard for me to find a credible source on the internet about the practice of disownment in Japan, be it the reasons, or mechanism. I found this article about how, in the classical times of Japan, disownment is a form of remedy due to your crimes against your “ancestors” (https://www.japanesewiki.com/history/Fukyo.html).

I also found anecdotes that many Japanese families would disown their offspring because they marry “Internationally”- as the film Life: Love on the Line puts it. The anecdotes are very old, it’s from 2007 (https://ask.metafilter.com/83832/How-does-disownership-of-a-child-work-in-Japan

Setting all of those aside, let us dig deep as to what happened in the two series. In Love is Better the Second Time Around, Takashi was outed by, who turned out to be, a distant relative of his. The rumor got spread around. He got disowned. He needed to change his surname from Hoshizawa to Iwanaga. I don’t know how he got his PhD in economics, I assume in Japan, only PhD graduates can be a lecturer. Maybe his new adopted family paid for the tuition fee until his doctorate degree, or maybe he got scholarship all the way up to his PhD studies.

In Tokyo in April is…, Ren was saved by Kazuma from being groomed sexually, not the over-the-internet-incredibly-flirtatious-chat grooming. He was forced to be outed in the hospital to describe what He and Kazuma were doing in the love hotel. Kazuma’s mum slapped and told Ren never to meet Kazuma again. Ren was forced to go to a HS in France, not allowed to inherit the hospital of his grandfather. In the manga, his dad was forced to resign from the hospital, in the live-action series, it was not mentioned about his dad’s status after the rumor of his son’s gay sex act was spread around. He needed to change his surname. He finished his HS and his degree, I think, in France. Then he went back to Japan with his new identity and all.

Now, before going to the analysis. Two things that I have observed to stand out very clearly: 1. The disowned son is still given a future, 2. The disowned son needs to change their surname as he is no longer a member of the family. I still don’t know how Takashi got his degrees, financially, but he still could get those degrees and become a respected economics lecturer. In Tokyo in April is…’s finale, Ren said to his sexual-assault-covering boss that he was grateful to him because he “could repay his family’s tuition” because of the job, which means that his disowning family still paid his tuition in France, just as a loan tho.

It's very unique for me to see this representation, because in many western medias, the disowned son becomes unhoused, a fear which still terrifies me today, and his future really becomes uncertain. In terms of name, I don’t really recall disowned gay men in any western media works to have changed their surname or name completely. I understand that many trans- or non-binary individuals or gender fluid people to have done this, be that they get disowned or not. Let me say before we get deeper into my two cents of this subtopic. I’m not saying that disowned gay sons in Japan have it “easier” compared to other disowned gay sons around the world just because that they are not immediately unhoused in these two BL works. I don’t know the statistics, and I really don’t think we should compare our sufferings amongst us gay men.

A). However, does Japan’s own attitude to the idea of a “state” contribute to these representations? I mean, in western media works, the disowned gay son is completely cut-off because said son is not a member of the family and thus not merited the PRIVATE wealth and comfort of the family. Western idea of ownership, state, and cold-war era propaganda of the “nuclear family” really contribute as to why the representation of disowned gay sons in their media become understandable. But in Japanese, it’s very new for me. Or is it a mere fear of criminal prosecution if the family doesn’t provide means for the future of the disowned gay son? I don’t know.

B). Your family name holds a special place in Japan. I know that it also carries a huge weight in many parts of the world, even here in Indonesia - where most plebian families don’t have a surname - your surname holds such an importance too. In most western media works which I have consumed, the disowned gay son, doesn’t really change his name. He just gets own with his own life, as his surname is the last of his concern. I think this connects well with the first observation I made – in most western media works, the disowned gay son is too focused on surviving, that he doesn’t give a fig about what he is called. If we see it in practical terms, let’s say a disowned gay son is moving from somewhere in the deep south of the states, and he moves to somewhere in New York, new England or somewhere in the west coast, his new start will not really check his name on some federal database, his new semi-blue-collar employer will not check his family background. Unless that he has a criminal record, he is free to use his old name or a new one, his family will not be disadvantaged at all because neither his new life nor his family is connected.

Take these observations with huge grains of salt, as I did not revisit many western media works as a reference, and I have not, and did not, included all Japanese BL works which have this trope, such as Umibe no étranger. I completely forgot as to what happened to the disowned gay son, in that anime film, before coming back to his hometown.

Second theme: Foreigners and Japanese

The second theme I’d like to talk about is Japanese relationship with foreigners. The relationship in a sense of how Japanese see foreigners against/for their patrimony. I will not write a lot about this subtopic because it touches complex topics like Japanese nationalism and the Japanese idea of race – topics which I don’t know much about. To talk about this subtopic, I want to discuss two works, Love is Better the Second Time Around episode 5 and Life: Love on the Line (director’s cut film).

Let’s revisit the chatroom/blog discussion website from 2007 (https://ask.metafilter.com/83832/How-does-disownership-of-a-child-work-in-Japan

). One of the posters said that when, I presumed his personal pronouns are he/hem/his, his Japanese wife married her non-Japanese husband, she got disowned. But then, when her sister got divorced, she was “seen better than her sister”. Setting aside the perception of divorced or spinsterish people, isn’t it crazy that based on that one anecdote, his wife’s family disowned their own daughter just because she married a non-Japanese person. Again, I don’t know the statistics hence I don’t know the prevalence of this behavior. I don’t even know whether the poster of the story on the website was telling the truth or not, however this anecdote is a great jumping point in understanding what happened in the two works I want to present.

In Life: Love on the Line, Ito, the bitch who actually kissed Nishi first, asked to break up with Nishi because he wanted to have “a normal family”. Hold up, I need to vent about Ito, WHAT A BITCH, you really don’t appreciate what you got bro. JESUS, I really cannot contain my anger to Ito. Venting side note over. Ito eventually got a divorce with his wife because he still loves Nishi. And, when he went back to his family’s house to announce his divorce, it turns out his sister is marrying a south Asian person, I forgot whether it was Indian or any other ethnicity. His mother became mad and pointed to his sister that she needed to be more like Ito because he has a normal life and family. His mum’s statement prompted him to stand up and said that he’s getting a divorce, and he has been in love with Nishi all this time and adding “compared to International love, it’s pretty normal right?”, or something to that effect.

In Love is Better the Second Time Around, we don’t really see the family dynamics as to why Takashi is called back to his family, besides the fact that because his sister is marrying a non-Japanese person, he needs to be the one that bears the responsibility of continuing his family’s business. I have not read the manga so I don’t know how Takashi family views their daughter’s “international marriage” compared to their estranged son.

Side note, it seems that Takashi is going to decline the offer to continue the family business because he’s gay… huh? I mean in Restart After Come back Home, Mitsuomi still can continue the family business even though that he’s gay. Well, he has not come out yet. Side note to the power of two, Isn’t it weird that a salaryman can just continue his father’s, long established, carpenter business? Like huh?

I really need to understand more about Japanese view on foreigners marrying their own. I mean, it’s a pretty extreme stance to say that, even a heterosexual, “international marriage” is considered a strange, or deviation from a normal one. Is it just because of the practical matter that the non-Japanese person cannot continue the family business? Is it because that the non-Japanese person hard to assimilate to the Japanese culture?

Side note again, does this mean that BL works with protagonists that used to live in the west like Tokyo in April is… and Senpai, This can’t be Love, to name two, also have “full” Japanese parents, just that they used to live abroad…?

Third theme: Haru mental leap

I think Haru in episode 4 and 5 are very different, “bigly”. We just saw Haru getting comfortable in episode 4 of getting in bed and accepting Takashi as his lover – boyfriend. I think in this episode, Haru became braver in his mannerism as well as drawing the line with Takashi. Yes, I will be having sex with you as lovers, yes, I will be calling you my lover, even in front of my own enemy, but I will not be moving into your place, yet. I think because we have seen how Takashi disappointed, or as it turns out, was smeared to look like he disappointed Haru, Haru’s walls were already up, so it’s not easy I guess for him to draw lines.

Someone on Twitter actually translated the conversation Haru and Takashi on LINE. In the chat, Takashi actually congratulated Haru on being the Deputy Editor, and Haru’s response was just like “okay”. Like wtf. This is another trope that I don’t like in Japanese BL works. I think the biggest offender of this trope is Minato’s Laundromat. It’s the trope of “Oh yes we’re now boyfriends, but I’m gonna act too cool to care about it”. Like what…? I mean Hiro’s mannerisms on digital products, E-Mail and social media are so different with his real-life behaviors, to the people that he knows. Why does he still use his journalist face even with Kyosuke?

Fourth theme: Blackmail – Japan’s most loved trope?

Before talking about this subtopic, let me first take my celebratory dance. I’M SO RELIEVED THAT MY BRAIN ITCH IS NOT WRONG OMG. Haru didn’t overhear some sob in the hall that Takashi bet against him. It was, presumably, Kyosuke that took a picture of a young, I think, Haru, and wrote in the email that Takashi was betting against his appearance in the train station.

What is it with BL and blackmail trope? I mean I know that it’s not uncommon for closeted gay guys to be threatened by blackmail about his sexual orientation, but I already see this plot line used in Help I’m Being Harassed by the Sexiest Man of the Year and The End of the World with You. I think The End of the World with You is such a unique one in using this plot line as the perpetrator of the blackmail is also the one who did the gay sex act with the blackmail victim lol.

Side note: I guess in the finale, Haru is bringing up the fact that Takashi is carrying all the burden by himself – gosh this trope again, I’ve seen it in Tokyo in April is…, let’s see how they execute it next week.

linguistic corner!!!!

I can’t believe how many times “aishiteru” was said in this episode. It seems like the show runners saw my blog post about the Japanese disinclination in using the word “aishiteru” and prefer to use the word “sukida”, made script changes and reshot a lot of scenes – I know it’s the conspiracy and narcissism talking in my head haha. I am genuinely surprised as to how many “aishiteru” was said in the episode, is it because that Takashi loves Hiro that much that he said that? I mean in this episode Takashi actually said it not while they were having sex.

I think this may be true as it is actually a point of rift between the two. I think it was since episode 3? That Hiro has always mentioned that their love intensity is different, is it that he feels that Takashi doesn’t love him enough? That’s why he was sort of lingering with the idea that Takashi still sees him as “an outsider”. Side note: while I’m writing this subtopic, I Love by Official Higedandism is playing HAHAH. The way that Takashi kept secret some of his familial stuff, read the previous subtopic about “carrying the burden all by himself”, I think, made Hiro easier to ask for a break, or rather that he was asking for a break up, but got a break.

Side note: this is the first time that I see when gays break up in a Japanese BL work that his place becomes a mess like in western media works, I mean all I see in other works is the guy failed a class (The End of the World with You), the guy continues his life but still missing his ex (Life: Love on the Line, Although I Love You, and You?, Mr Sahara and Toki-Kun, My Beautiful Man, Pornographer).

All in all, I can’t wait, albeit dread, for the finale next week !

#japan bl #gay #linguistics #japanese language #love is better the second time around #koi wo suru nara nidome ga joto #bl live action #bl series

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qe-podfic · 2 months

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Check out @lexarturo's FUNKTACULAR cover illustration for Chapter 1 of Quantum Entangled.

AHHHHHHHH. THIS ARTWORK MADE ME PISS BLOOD. /pos

Excerpt below cut:

Gosh, he was late! Anathema—Aziraphale’s formidable but quirky supervisor—was going to wring his neck like a repressed housewife in the 1960s, squeezing the last remnants of dirty dishwater out of a hand towel. Only, instead of soap bubbles, it would be Aziraphale’s bloodied guts spilling out onto the linoleum floor. Anathema was a kind young lady, but there was an unmistakable fire in her eyes. It was the fire of a girl who had gotten her doctorate in her mid-twenties. And, with nowhere else for her limitless passion—and it had to be limitless, because writing a PhD at forty wasn’t an easy feat; doing the same, in half the time, required about as much mental fortitude as one might expect (ergo limitless)—to go, she had adopted Aziraphale as a kind of pet project. If you knew her, and you were gifted with any sense of self-preservation, no matter how small, you wouldn’t willingly get between Anathema and her latest pet project.

Aziraphale was currently getting in between Anathema and her latest pet project.

Never mind that he was the pet project, he wouldn’t put it past her to learn the lost art of necromancy in the wake of his recently corpse-ified body, post-murder on account of tardiness. A trivial little thing like death couldn’t put a stop to Anathema Device. Perish the thought! Supposedly—on account of some author or another—there were only two constants in life; death and taxes. The first of these we’ve already discussed. The second, according to Aziraphale’s blurry memories of the Device estate and its subsequent callous disregard for bookkeeping—books of prophecy excluded—was no obstacle either. In the wake of such revelations, Aziraphale wished to propose an amendment to the popular idiom. There were only two constants in life; ‘were’ being the preliminary condition. Because, once Anathema Device was born, death and taxes both tendered their resignations and held hands while they skipped gleefully into the sunset. Aziraphale hoped they had a holiday house, somewhere near the beach, where they could grow old together. He would do the same if he didn’t fear Anathema finding his proverbial vacation-inn and thoroughly beating the—proverbial or otherwise, Anathema wasn’t much fussed—ever loving crap out of him.

The dark storm cloud of his—Anathema themed—violent musings had brought Aziraphale all the way to the faculty staff room. Its thin pine door was a wooden board lacking stature, opulence, and foreboding, but trying its best to make up for it by acting as the sole barrier between Anathema Device and the outside world. It was a futile effort as Aziraphale, easy as anything, pushed it open—the lock had broken an indeterminate number of months prior, and no one was bothered enough to do anything about it—entering the domain of his supervisor.

“Ana? I know I’m late, but I’m here now if that counts for anything!” Aziraphale called, wafting the gift of crappy university coffee towards the hunched pile of sweaters sitting at Anathema’s desk. The sweater pile turned to look at him, revealing circular spectacles that enlarged the eyes beneath them. Her elk-fur coloured irises, blown out to proportions more fitting for an alien, or an animated bug in a Disney classic, were not tempered by the human habit of blinking. Anathema had mastered the unmoved stare by the age of four, she was not going to let her streak—almost three decades unbroken—end now.

“Aziraphale,” she said in a tone that implied that it could list your sins verbatim, without need nor want for breath. There was a moment of silence. Then, unlike herself, she sighed.

“You don’t even have a paper for me to demand a draft of yet. Neither of us have any work to do. For all intents and purposes, this is a social call. You can’t be late to a social call, Azzy. It begins precisely when it does, with no interest in the time it was planned for.” Anathema explained, making Aziraphale feel a mite foolish, as she was often wont to do. Having deposited the lukewarm beverage onto her workspace anyway, he made himself comfortable in the cubicle-desk hybrid opposite her; where she was regarding the cup with the conditioned wariness of someone who had already known the taste of the grim sludge TadU had taken to calling ‘coffee’ these days. Her first sip wrestled a grimace onto her typically calm features, but by the time the second sip hit her tongue, she had acclimatised to the amalgamation before her. She continued drinking it, her exterior, at least, affecting unperturbed. Anathema was always more for the content than the aesthetics. In this case, the content was caffeine and the aesthetic was the offensive chemical concoction that contained said caffeine.

“I spoke with Crowley today,” Aziraphale remarked, apropos of nothing.

Anathema hummed appropriately, if not disinterestedly, before actually processing what he had said.

“The thesis guy you were so excited about? The one with the dissertation on primate social behaviours and their implications for modern notions of evolution?” Anathema probed, suddenly interested in the conversation.

“The very same.”

“Holy fuck, Azzy. You’ve had the biggest crush—” Her words were interrupted by the swift interjection of one—rather embarrassed—A.Z. Fell.

“Academic crush. I value his unique perspectives,” he didn’t need to say more on the matter. It was a well trodden argument.

“Fine, you’ve had the biggest academic crush—” She coughed something that sounded an awful lot like ‘bullshit’ before continuing. Aziraphale offered her his handkerchief, regardless. Politeness was something he prided himself on, even when his friends were being obstinate hecklers.

“—on him for ages! This is big news! What did he say?”

Aziraphale floundered for a moment, unsure how to distil their brief meeting into something comprehensible. While most of Aziraphale’s conversations strayed into the territory of ‘a bit odd’, his exchange with Crowley was more than ‘a bit odd’ even by his—somewhat unusual—standards. No, the banter between him and Crowley ventured past the ballpark of ‘a bit odd’, beyond the neighbourhood of ‘somewhat peculiar’, and landed straight in the realm of ‘Weird Nerds saying Weird Nerd Things’—capitals included. Not that Anathema wasn’t a Weird Nerd herself, it was just that her particular brand of Weird Nerd veered more towards occult philosophy and historical chronology than it did towards quantum mechanics.

“He recognised me, actually. He mentioned my Master’s in passing and even asked for my number.”

Anathema knew all about Aziraphale’s MDiv, having friended him doing a joint research project on the Salem Witch Trials. This meant that she also knew, more intimately than most, how utterly boring his thesis was. Well, boring to anyone who wasn’t specifically that brand of Weird Nerd. It both surprised her and didn’t surprise her that Crowley was exactly that brand of Weird Nerd. Surely, for as prolific and expansive a researcher as Dr. A.J. Crowley was, it wouldn’t be beyond justification that his interests swept the dusty niche of Pauline Christian theology. But, on the other hand, it simply didn’t fit the vague sense of academic identity he carved out for himself. His debonair leather jackets and faux-suave saunter never seemed like a natural counterpart to the stuffy rigmarole of pastoral philosophy.

“Did he ask for your number? Or did you bluster your way into his contacts?” Her tone was suspicious, and not unwarranted. Aziraphale had—mostly by accident—ambushed himself into the texting roster of many a fellow bar patron, classmate, and—on one notable occasion—a critical care nurse. It was an unfortunate habit of his, coercing people into adding him as a new contact. Therefore, Anathema was not unfounded in her doubts.

Finding himself unwilling to explain it, Aziraphale just handed her his phone. Letting Anathema draw her own conclusions was often the best option available when she scented a curiosity. Upon viewing, she grimaced. First at Crowley’s comment about wanking on Bohr’s grave, and then at something she alone could parse. It was the kind of double take that only she could do. One where the art of it was that she could present the aura of looking away without actually taking her eyes off of the chat logs.

“He sends an awful lot of kisses, doesn’t he?” was the sole comment she graced him with.

“I think that’s just how he types,” Aziraphale returned, for lack of a more poignant remark. Anathema nodded solemnly, like the text chain in front of her was instead a trial record straight out of Salem. It was oddly familiar, an absurd echo from their early post-grad.

“Angel?” Anathema questioned—something wicked about her—as she reread the nickname, thinking that she might have misinterpreted.

“Oh! I’m afraid that’s an in-joke of a sort. Nothing as untoward as what you’re implying, dear girl! Ho ha!” Aziraphale chuckled with the odd inflection of a bad liar, even though he wasn’t—technically—lying.

“Sure.” Anathema snorted, as unconvinced as a woman of her intelligence should be when faced with such an awful performance.

It was in the ensuing silence (an intentional silence, on Anathema’s part—she could break even the toughest of method actors with her intentional silences) that the telltale ‘bzzt’ of Aziraphale’s phone brought news of an incoming text. Faster than Aziraphale by whatever metric you wished to measure them—other than, perhaps, the metric of who could devour a pie, éclair, or other sweet treat fastest—Anathema ducked under the desk to read what she hoped to be another message from Crowley. Lady luck, as it appeared, was on her side (or was just pissed with Aziraphale for no particular reason).

“Angel?” she recited with all the dramatic flair of a thousand William Shatners thrown into a Kugelblitz black hole.

“Did your supervisor…” she paused for effect, and also to kick away Aziraphale’s reaching hands as he tried desperately to get the phone back.

“Actually kill you?!” she squealed, peals of laughter interrupting her very serious and not-at-all-over-acted sobs. Steadying herself with a slow breath, she retreated further into the cubicle half of the cubicle-desk hybrid.

“I might just have to avenge your death,” she read, voice gravelly as she felt the ‘script’—or ‘Aziraphale’s private texts’ depending on whom you asked—required it.

“—if they’ve truly gone and skinned you alive.” The message ended with two obscenely wet kissy sounds, paying homage to Crowley’s typical sign-off. Then, prim and proper as anything, she got up from the floor under her desk and handed Aziraphale his phone back. She had the grace not to laugh outright as he hastily scoured the message with greedy eyes of his own.

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