#it is 6am and no I haven’t slept but someone please tell me they see what I see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fang-wife · 3 years

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loft music | tamaki amajiki

➳ tags ;; mean!reader, sub!tamaki, teasing, mild humilation, degradation, unprotected sex, the petname bunny n fucktoy, sweet lil ending, there’s only one bed, oh no!

➳ wc ;; 2.4k

➳ a/n ;; speed wrote this shit at 6am and it’s currently 9am. i haven’t slept...

edit: reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags </3

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He thinks you’re joking most of the time.

It’s to be expected of someone like Tamaki - all nerves, fear, anxiety. He isn’t sure how he’s supposed to believe someone like you actually means all the flirty things you say. Certain you’re making fun of him, he tries his hardest to let the commentary slide off his shoulders like he needs it too.

But it’s hard. You make him feel so frazzled. It’s so hard to pretend he isn’t bothered by your too close touches, the warmth of your breath, the feeling of your body pressed against his when you hold his arm on patrols. It’s like he knows - deep down, that you’re doing it to mess with him. He knows that you’re doing it to see him frustrated because you make that face when he squirms. It’s so evil and so mean and humiliating -

and so unbelievably arousing. It makes his breath catch in his lungs - his stomach twist and turn. It makes his entire body burn with desire and he hates it. He feels uneasy when he sees you - not knowing what thing you’ll do to string him along like before. There’s a restless that you’ve grown inside him - planted in his heart and lungs that he finds inescapable. He’s more afraid of it when you’re not there, on the days you don’t bother him at all.

He can’t understand himself. Why he’s so disappointed when you’re partnered with someone else on patrol. Why he goes home feeling extra miserable when you haven’t said something to push his buttons. It makes him feel like a puppy waiting for it’s master - downtrodden and depressed without your attention.

There’s the jealousy too. That bitterness in his mouth when that new rookie clings to your side with doe-eyes. It made him sick to see you pinch the newbies cheek with any kind of affection - ruffling his hair and throwing your arm around his shoulder.

It’s all unreasonable. And confusing. He doesn’t know how to feel about you and can’t determine how you feel about him. There’s not even anyone he can tell because how was he supposed to explain himself?

But he has to rid himself of this frustration somehow - manage it before he really breaks down.

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He knows for certain that being on this mission with you, alone - in this room with one bed, will not help him at all.

He cannot remember a time he felt this miserable. His heart damn near fell out of his ass when the receptionist told him about the mix-up. It didn’t help that he saw that little whimsical look in your eyes when you registered it. The faux disappointment and shrug. Tamaki doesn’t trust you at all, not one bit.

He figures he must’ve done something truly evil in a past life to deserve this. He’s expecting some kind of commentary from you given the whole situation when you enter the room. There’s a couch, and a desk. A singular lamp and a TV - and the bed is big but not big enough for two. Not big enough for you to sleep truly separate.

He awaits your commentary anxiously, as your eyes drink in the surroundings. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but he knows it’s not you opening the curtains and staring out into the city.

“It’s really a beautiful. Shame we’re only here for a mission,” ― you sigh, stretching your arms and yawning ― “I’ll take the couch tonight, by the way. We should sleep soon,”

His eyes widen. Did he hear you correctly?

“Sorry, what?”

You turn your head and blink at him, head cocked to one side. You blink a few times before knitting your brows together.

“Hm?”

“Y-you’re gonna sleep on the couch?”

You nod.

“Yeah. You’ll be using your quirk a lot tomorrow, so at least for tonight - I’ll take the couch”

Tamaki isn’t sure what he’s supposed to feel about it. He knows it shouldn’t be disappointment. He nods dumbly.

“Oh.. okay”

“Cool. I’m gonna get washed up and head to bed - I’m beat”

He watches you slink off to the bathroom, dumbfounded.

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You’re putting on skin cream as Tamaki contemplates your proposal. The only thing in the background is some TV drama - but the words are blurring. His head is racing with a million thoughts. You’re not even fazed - seemingly off somewhere in your own world as Tamaki sorts his own emotions out by weight.

Everything else, reason, shame, anxiety - is drowned by the most unpleasant feeling of disappointment he’s ever experienced. He’s trying his hardest to understand it but every time he tries - his brain fires off into question marks. Why the hell is he so disappointed? Shouldn’t he be relieved?

But he isn’t. He feels so uneasy he wants to throw some kind of tantrum but he can’t. He’s changed into pajama pants and a loose white shirt - his legs crossed on the bed. He chews his lip nervously. Why does he feel like this?

“Uhm, y-you know you should.. sleep on t-the bed with me. Uhm, since - we’re both gonna be.. uhm, busy”

What is he saying? What is he doing?

You pause, turning over your shoulders with your brow quirked. You mask your amusement, straightening your face.

“Oh.. uh - you sure? Won’t that be uncomfortable for you?,”

Obviously.

“No!”

You smile at him.

“Then.. sure. Let me know if I make you uncomfortable”

And with that you turn away to face the mirror - finishing the rest of your skincare and putting it away as Tamaki anxiously sets alarms on his phone and adjusts his side of the bed. He tucks himself in before you do - with his eyes closed, listening to the rustling of your movement. He waits and waits for what feels like an eternity until your body weight dips on the other side of the bed.

He can feel you. Your body radiating a pleasant warmth - the smell of hotel soap and your skin cream and whatever detergent you always use. He buries his face into his pillow to try and mask his burning humiliations but his mind feels so blank. If he moves an inch your bodies would be touching - the lights are off but the city is bright enough that it doesn’t matter. Tamaki shuts his eyes and prays for something. Not entirely sure what, but something.

You move around and bristle against him - and he flinches.

“Tamaki, you okay? Sorry about that -”

Your voice has gone low in the night, soft and gentle. He squirms. Unsure what to do with this leftover frustration, he hugs his pillow to his body and buries his face in it.

“‘m fine,”

“.. You sure? You seem kinda off. You can talk to me,”

Your assurance is gentle. It makes Tamaki feel strange. You’re lucky he can’t see you because your smile would give you away. He’s so obvious it hurts you, but you play nice. You can be mean later, soon so for now - you play nice.

He doesn’t say anything - doesn’t know what to do with himself. His cock twitches pathetically in his pants and he freezes. His body runs cold with a shiver. You turn to face his back.

Tamaki feels like prey more than ever. Like most predators, you know when to sink your teeth in. He’s not exception not really. You scoot closer to him, voice just a whisper.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Tamaki?”

He can’t answer, but he shakes his head.

“No? Then what is it?”

You’re close. Too close. He trembles as your body presses against his back - let’s out a noise.

“Use your words, Tama - I won’t bite. Why do you feel like this, hm?”

Your hands hover above him. His body shudders. His voice hiccups, a sob deep within his ribcage pouring out of him. It becomes clearer than ever that he needs you to touch him. Shame blooms in his belly.

“I won’t touch you till you say yes” ― you sound amused, the kind he’s learned to recognize ― “If you want to go to sleep, just say the word”

He breaks. Shatters into pieces as a tremor tears through him.

“Please,”

“Please what?”

“Touch me, touch me please - can’t,”

Your hands come up under his shirt, pinching his nipples as you place a kiss to his shoulder. His back arches, whimpering as his eyes shoot open. Your breath ghosts along the nape of his neck, your hands settled at his chest.

“Okay” ― you soothe ― “Turn around for me, baby”

Baby. Tamaki shudders as he flips over to face you. You reach over to flip the lights on - only a gap between you two. His brain feels like it’s melting - your face is so close to his own. You give him a small smile - eyes brimming with tears and expression burning red. You reach your hand to wrap around his neck and bring him towards, kissing him feverishly. He moans when he feels your tongue in his mouth.

He kisses you eagerly, hands frozen at his side as your tongue explores his mouth. Outlines his teeth, brushes against his own - he melts into the touch. He whines disappointedly when you stop.

Your hand cups his face.

“You’re such a pervert, Tamaki” ― you grin, brushing your thumb against his lower lip befores ticking it in his mouth ― “Got so antsy without me. You like being teased so much?”

Not in a spot to deny it, he merely shuts his eyes.

“...why did you stop t-teasing me?”

You chuckle, kissing the shell of his ear as your hands slide up his waist, around his body.

“I thought you didn’t like it baby,”

He muffles himself, mumbling about how he didn’t think he did either. Your hand travels down, squeezes his hard cock from his pajama pants. Gasping for air, he moans and ruts into your palm.

“You like when I’m mean to you, Tama? Like when I make fun of you ‘n tease you?”

“Hnggh”

You hold a hand up to his mouth with a warm smile.

“Spit”

His eyes go wide as you blink at him curiously. A pang of shame hits as he spits into your palm weakly, watching through lidded eyes as your hand travels to his cock - just underneath his sweats. His hands fist the sheets as you pump him lazily.

“You’re cock is so red ‘n pretty, Tamaki”

“You’re ― hic ― you’re m-making fun of me”

“’s that why you’re so hard? It’s drooling all over my hand. You’re so wet - they’re gonna have to change our sheets in the morning” ― you tease ― “They’re gonna know how lewd you are bunny, so much keeps coming out when I touch you”

He shakes his head, grits his teeth. He can feel himself creaming into your fist, overwhelmed by your touch. His eyes are screwed so tight it aches. So lost in pleasure and the sound of your voice humiliating him.

“You like being my little fucktoy, bunny? Like when I treat you like a pet and play with you whenever I like?,”

“Aaah, aah - pl-please” ― he shakes his head furiously ― “can’t t-take it, please”

“Bet you’re gonna make the cutest face when I let you fuck my pussy,”

His eyes shoot open as he feels you scoot closer to him. You pull his pants down swiftly - your hand covered in pre-cum. He watches with wide eyes as you pull your own shorts down, a string of arousal trailing down your thigh. Tamaki watches it with hearts in his eyes, making you laugh deeply. It’s an affirmation that you meant everything you said - that he was making you like that too. It’s enough to make him sniffle.

He watches as you lift your leg up - tugging his cock towards you. It’s pretty - thin and long and so red it’s almost purple. Your cunt envelops it . Clit throbbing against the tip, Tamaki’s sure he’ll cum if he moves. You grind against him so slowly, bringing his face towards you.

His mouth drops open as you kiss him. His dick is twitching relentlessly at the way you gasp.

“Feel how wet you make me when you look all pathetic?”

“Can I please, nghh - can you please let me,”

“Wanna cream inside me, bunny? Wanna fuck me so bad you’d do anything?”

He nods rapidly. A silent scream leaves his mouth as you adjust - slide yourself right down onto his cock. You feel so much better then he could ever picture. Soft and tight and warm and wet - like pure fucking velvet. His hands dip into your hips for support. Through lidded eyes, he watches your hand come down between your thighs.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t - ‘m gonna,”

You feel him spurt his hot cum into you with a loud, broken cry. His throat, sored from exhaustion, doesn’t serve him any better when you start moving. Fucking yourself on his overstimulated, half-hard cock with face paced rhythm. Your fuckin his cum right back into you and he’s sobbing through the overstimulation. His mind feels so broken - so pliant and obedient.

“’s too much ― ! p-please, can’t”

“Shh, ‘sokay baby,” ― you groan, meeting him in a kiss that manages to overwhelm him even more ― “Fuck, gonna cum, fuck”

The tension in your gut snaps like a rubber band and your whole body spams. Clenching down so tightly on Tamaki, he sobs. You’re whispering good-boy and other praises until you’re down and sobered from your high.

When you open your eyes - Tamaki is staring at you in amazement. His cock has gone soft inside you but you don’t bother telling him to pull out.

“You did so good baby,” ― you kiss the crown of his head ― “good job”

He feels small and warm under your touch. A blush forms on his cheeks, words completely failing him to express himself. You don’t make him. Brushing your thumb against his cheeks, you smile.

“I know I tease you a lot, Tama - but I really do like you,’

His eyes shoot up in surprise. He shrinks when he hears you giggle, flushing.

“I.. I l-like you too”

You chuckle, petting his hair and burying his face in your chest. You let your chin rest atop his head and nod.

“Then we’ll have to talk more tomorrow. Let’s sleep, okay?”

He blushes, embarrassed but content..

“O-okay..”

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#tamaki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha x you #bnha x y/n #tamaki x you #tamaki x y/n #knk ;; [ overstimulation ]#knk ;; [ degradation ]#sub!tamaki #sub!bnha

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missymurphy1985 · 3 years

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The Medic (part five)

Warning - smut

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

You quickly pulled your dress back on when the door knocked. Cillian quickly washed his hands while you made yourself presentable and answered the door to Kate, who immediately gave you a look.

"Interesting look y/n?" She smirked, glancing down at your dress. Inside out. Brilliant.

"Oh, I was having a nap. Up all night with someone who can't handle Tramadol!" You chuckled nervously.

"Mhmm.. thought you two would be hungry so I grabbed a few bits from Asda down the road." You smiled and let her in, Cillian however stayed behind the kitchen counter, and put the kettle on, giving you a look and glancing down at his hidden crotch. You laughed a little, making Kate turn to look at you.

"What's so funny?" You shook your head and quickly moved her to the sofa, sitting her down and taking the bag off her.

"Nothing.. thank you so much for these. Cill, you hungry?" You turned to ask him, winking knowing Kate couldn't see you.

"Ravenous," he grinned.

"Can you come grab these please? You need to keep moving otherwise you'll go stiff..." His eyes widened at your comment and he shook his head.

"No, no, I'm just making Kate a drink..." You couldn't help but chuckle as you brought the bag over to him, emptying its contents. Standing behind the counter, Kate had her eyes on the impressive view out of the window.

"Go lie down, I'll sort the drinks out. And do not take care of that until I'm with you to, er, monitor your breathing..." you whispered, glancing down at the very obvious tent in his jeans. He nodded, admitting that he was feeling exhausted, and quietly headed into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Kate turned round as she heard the door close and asked if he was okay.

"He needs a rest, he had a rough night."

"So you gonna tell me the real reason your dress is inside out y/n?"

"I told you, I had a nap and got up quickly when I heard the door knock, that's all."

You changed the subject quickly before she interrogated you even further. You weren't sure what this was yourself, you didn't want to talk about it. You chatted about the accident and how Paul was doing for half an hour before you could see she was getting all question-y again.

"Well I guess I'd better go check on him."

"I'll leave you to it," she chuckled, giving you a hug and heading out with a wink.

You bit your lip and quietly opened the bedroom door. Looking at him, fast asleep on the bed, you didn't have the heart to wake him. Even his erection had passed out.. you pulled a blanket out of the wardrobe and covered him with it. His hand suddenly grabbed yours and he pulled you to lie down with him. Against your better judgement, you allowed it.

"I'm not going to be able to fulfil that end of the bargain, but at least let me hold you while I fall asleep?"

"Patient's orders again?"

"Mhmm... Come here..." You lay with your back against his chest as he lifted the blanket over you both. His arm wrapped around your waist, his face resting against your shoulder, kissing it lightly, before you felt him relax completely and drift back off again. Your own eyes grew heavy, the feel of his arm round you felt far too comfortable. Sleep came easily.

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You woke a few hours later, you were now laying snuggled into his side with his right arm draped around you. He was still snoring lightly. You realised your body weight was resting right on his stitches. You eased off him gently so as not to hurt him but no joy. He woke with a hiss of pain.

"Shh... I'm sorry, I was lying on your ribs... Don't move I'll grab your painkillers..."

"No, no I'm okay - it's easing off now. It was just the shock that's all. I'm okay honestly. No more painkillers."

"Don't be a martyr Cillian, if it hurts, take them." You said sternly. Typical bloke...

"If it hurts, I will." You climbed out of bed, much to his disappointment, and walked into the living room. Glancing at the clock you were surprised to see it was 6am. You'd both slept for over 12 hours solid. You saw four missed calls from Anto, that would be interesting to explain...

You grabbed Cillian's antibiotics, water and a yogurt out of the fridge and brought them back into him.

"Take these now - you've missed about three doses! It's morning!" You laughed, telling him the time.

"I haven't slept that well in years, Jesus..."

"Your body needed the rest. Anto's been trying to call - how do I explain this, exactly?"

"We were watching a movie and fell asleep. No need to tell him I gave you a mind-blowing orgasm shortly beforehand."

"I wanted to talk to you about that actually," you said as you typed the message and sent it.

"About your orgasm?"

"No, well kinda.. Cillian I like you, I really do, and you have no idea how much I want you... But -"

"I know. It's inappropriate while you're my doctor, right?"

"Right..."

"No one needs to know though?"

"Cillian, my dress was inside out and my face was red as a beetroot. Kate suspects, at least. I could be struck off the medical register for this."

"So what do we do?"

"What do you want from me, exactly?"

"Who knows? But I really like you too. And I'd like to see more of you. Literally... More of you." He smiled, looking up and down your body.

"You're gonna leave me here like this?!" He asked, looking down at your hand that you'd just pulled away. You looked out of the window and stood up, wrapping your arms around yourself.

"I went to uni for seven years. Being a doctor is all I know, it's all I'm good at... As much as I want you, I don't think I can do this..."

"You weren't saying that this morning?"

"I wasn't thinking straight - we can't do this. Not while I'm here as your doctor.."

"Then don't be my doctor! Get Kate to take over?"

"I'm an onset medic, I cover all of you."

"Then it's our little secret until Friday night isn't it? Come on, no one suspects anything, no one knows a thing." You turned to look at him, surprised to see him now completely naked on the bed, cock in his hand slowly stroking up and down.

"Now now, I thought you were going to let me monitor you?" He groaned gently as he stroked, his breathing shallow.

"I'd say my breathing is perfectly fine, wouldn't you?"

"Yes I would... What happens to it if I do this?" You took the straps of your dress off and let it fall to the floor. Unclasping your bra, tossing it aside, and letting your panties drop. His breathing paused, as did his hand as he admired the view in front of him.

"Oh dear Mr Murphy.. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you the once over. I'm not convinced you're ready for me..."

"Get over here and I'll show you how fucking ready I am..."

#cillian murphy #cillian smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fanfic #cillian x smut #cillian murphy x smut

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detectiveinchicago · 4 years

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Sparks Fly: Chapter 10

Chapters list here

Note: Hi guys! I’m sorry for taking so long with this chapter. I had problems with chapter 9 too, Tumblr deleated chapter 9 idk why. Thank u for all the comments and reviews, you are amazing. If you want to be tag in this story please let me know. English is not my first language. Enjoy xxx.

DISCLAIMER: GIF IS NOT MINE.

WARNING: Bad language, mental illness, PTSD and drugs mentions.

What smell was that? Lemon maybe? Caitlyn could feel her head throbbing. She was going to need an urgent Tyrol. Why did her eyelids suddenly feel so heavy? How long had she been asleep? Light. Why was there so much light? Couldn’t someone turn it off? Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the white light. She opened her eyes slowly as she concentrated on the beeping of the machines.

“You’re awake.” Why was Kenny even talking to her? God, was last night a dream? Judging by the pain in her shoulder, she could tell it had been real. She finally finished blinking and turned her head on the pillow to see him. He had a bruise on his jaw she was sure he hadn’t in the warehouse.

“Who did you fight with?” Caitlyn asked in a raspy voice, “What happened to your face?”

“Your brother punch me” Kenny replied

“Oh, God” Caitlyn muttered “I’m sorry” she added embarrassed

“He’s furious that you didn’t tell him we were married” Kenny informed her, “I think you missed that little piece of information, it was a beautiful family reunion”

“My brother and I are not exactly on good terms” Caitlyn replied with a small cough.

“Were you ever on good terms?” he asked raising his eyebrows, pouring a glass of water and offering it to Caitlyn

“Thanks” Caitlyn drank “FYI, the relationship is worse than ever, did Will intervene?”

“To be honest, he was more concerned about your medical history.”

“Of course” Caitlyn replied, “Did you ...?”

“Yes, no latex, no penicillin, and no opioids” Kenny informed her. Caitlyn smirked, he still remembered it.

“Did Will try to stop Jay?” she asked out of curiosity

“I think he was too shocked to think” Kenny said, “Jay tried to make me his punching bag in the waiting room” He said. Caitlyn lowered her gaze to look at his knuckles and Kenny seemed to read her thoughts “I didn’t hit him, I have my anger under control, thank you very much for asking” replied the annoyed by his gesture.

“I said nothing Kenny” Caitlyn replied

“But you thought about it” he replied, getting up from the chair next to her bed.

“Why are you coming if you’re always going to be mad at me over nothing” Caitlyn rolled her eyes

“Well, even if you haven’t been there for me when I needed you, I’m here for you” Kenny replied dryly before heading out the room. Caitlyn leaned her head against the pillow. Perfect. Yet another problem to add to the list. She closed her eyes. Maybe she should get some more sleep. Her shoulder was killing her. Where were opioids when she needed them?

“Caitlyn! Your husband told me you were already awake”

Dammit. She just wanted to go back to sleep.

“He’s not ... Never mind” Caitlyn mumbled “Good to see you again Dr. Marcel”

“I’d say the same if it weren’t because every time I see you you’ve been stabbed,” Dr. Marcel said and Caitlyn smirked, “And because you altered Maggie’s waiting room”

“Sorry about that” she wrinkling her nose “I’m sure it was a disaster”

“I thought it was going to be worse, to be honest” Dr. Marcel replied as he took some notes from the monitors and a nurse walked through the door “Dr. Choi and I were ready to intervene but your husband never raised a finger” he informed her as Caitlyn raised her eyebrows.

“Really?” she said “We have been separated for almost five years, technically he is my husband but we are not together” Caitlyn commented to the doctor as the nurse changed her bandage.

“Maggie must surely still be mad at Jay for disturbing the order in the ED” The nurse told her with a small smile

“Will told me that Maggie rules the ED” Caitlyn answered causing a laugh from both

“He’s not wrong” Dr. Marcel replied, “You don’t want to mess with Maggie”

“I’ll write that down for future references,” Caitlyn said with a brief smile.

“Since the stab was in your shoulder and provided that no nerves were damaged, you just needed 48 hours in here so you will leave tonight”

“Tonight? I have slept for almost a day?” Caitlyn asked

“Yes, it’s 6AM so you still need to wait for tonight” Dr. Marcel answered, “You will need to rest Caitlyn for a few weeks and you won’t be able to chase anyone for almost a month until you come back here”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, “I forgot how much I hate to be hurt”

“You guys need to get a hobby” Dr. Marcel answered shaking his head “Cops keep telling me how much they hate to on desk duty”

“I don’t have time for a hobby and all the hobbies I have are sports” Caitlyn told him while the nurse finished taking a blood sample.

“I would also recommend you to take painkillers” Dr. Marcel added writing something down in her file.

“Opioids?” Caitlyn asked while he looked at him.

“He told me you have some history with oxy” and by “he”, Caitlyn assumed Dr. Marcel was talking about Kenny “But we have to sedate you to remove the bullet and then we gave you small doses of painkillers”

“You must have seen my file, I had a lot of things when I was a teenager and I was really closed with oxy” Caitlyn said.

“Don’t worry but you will have to monitor your pain in case you need them” Dr. Marcel informed her “How much pain from one to ten do you have?”

“Maybe a seven” Caitlyn answered

“That’s not so bad,” Marcel told her, “We can work with that, I will see you next week, if you feel your pain increasing you call me” He finished before getting off her room.

“Hey “ O.A greeted standing at the door with Jess, Clinton, Hanna and Sheryll.

“Hey guys” Caitlyn smiled briefly

“How you feel?” Sheryll asked, sitting in the chair that Kenny previously occupied.

“As if a truck had hit me” Caitlyn replied sitting on the bed

“You were lucky the guy had such poor aim” Clinton replied, “He was close to the neck”

“Please” Caitlyn replied “I’m a tough bitch, he needs more than a stab to kill me”

“I told you she will say that” Hanna told Clinton.

“What happened with the case?” Caitlyn asked.

“It turns out that this guy was a psychopath as we expected, but he was medicated, sometimes he had these breaks where he went out to kill” Jess informed her about the case “He stopped taking the medication, accumulating the prescribed pills and with that, he drugged his victims “

“We think he started accumulating pills a year ago after his mother died,” Sheryll added.

“I took the trouble to take a picture frame of her mother, look at this” Hanna said handing her a bag of evidence. Caitlyn took it and raised her eyebrows.

“She looks just like Amelia Roberts” Caitlyn observed.

“And similar to all his other victims” Hanna added, “She was an exotic dancer before she became a prostitute”

“We talked to some neighbors, and they lived in the same house their whole lives, the neighbors said that the mother was quite a character and not in a good way” Sheryll informed her.

“How many victims?” Caitlyn asked.

“Fifty-five at the moment but labs are still running” Jess replied.

“And the lipstick?” Clinton added, “The mother had a box full of red lipstick”

She took a brief nap after her friends left, promising to meet them that night for a drink at a bar called Molly’s. They were going to join her brother’s unit for a job well-done celebration. They had discovered who the murderer was and he would spend a lot of time behind bars.

“Hey” her brother Will greet her “Marcel told me you looked good”

“It still hurts though” Caitlyn commented giving him a small smile.

“You and Jay must stop getting shot or stabbed or you’re going to drive me crazy” Will muttered taking a seat in the chair next to her while Caitlyn giggled “Kenny was still here” Will committed causing her to turn to look at him, “I told him to go to rest but he seemed to be angry when he left“ he added curious

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, “He’s always mad at me”

“You know Jay wanted to kill him when he found out, right?” Will added by pouring a glass of water to his sister and handing it to her.

“Dr. Marcel told me, did Kenny hit him?” Caitlyn asked curiously to see what story her brother was going to tell her.

However, Will confirmed Marcel and Kenny’s story.

“He didn’t raise his hand” Will shrugged “Jay was being a jerk, I probably would have hit him if I were Kenny.”

Caitlyn shifted uncomfortably in bed for having judged Kenny too quickly, although she would continue to maintain that her husband had gotten angry with her for no reason.

“So ...” Will began, “Are you going to tell me how this all happened?”

“We got married and then we weren’t married anymore” Caitlyn replied and her brother rolled his eyes “Truth is, nobody ever made me feel like Kenny”

Will raised his eyebrows “That’s a revealing confession isn’t it?”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes “Shut up”

“Why didn’t you get divorced? You’re not together, ” Will asked curiously.

“It was too painful at the time to see us again and then it was just easier to stay married, the taxes and all that” Caitlyn replied distractedly, although she never believed she could have the courage to let Kenny go for good.

“Are you telling me you didn’t get a divorce because of your taxes?” Will asked, raising his eyebrows.

Caitlyn glared at him “It’s harder than you think, Kenny will probably always be my great love”

Will nearly choked on his glass of water, “Excuse me?”

“It’s ... difficult” Talking about her feelings with her brother was harder than she thought “My feelings are complicated; God, I’m doomed” Caitlyn snorted, resting her head on the pillow.

“I couldn’t tell you if it’s bad or not, but he seemed worried about you when you came” Will commented, scrutinizing her.

“PTSD sucks” Caitlyn told him “It’s what ruined my marriage”

----flashback----

Even though Kenny had PTSD he had never had major problems, yes he had nightmares, yes he sometimes had bad and terrible days, and yes he had seizures but Caitlyn knew herself that coming back from the war was more than difficult. That’s why she didn’t judge him. She understood him and tried to give Kenny space when he needed it.

However, they had a case where a veteran sniper with PTSD, a war hero, had killed five people after his best friend, another soldier, committed suicide. Caitlyn knew that her husband was struggling. She had mixed feelings about the case, but Kenny was showing signs of stress. The night before she was sure that he had not closed an eye and he was quiet.

That night Caitlyn had fallen asleep while Kenny was still watching television. However, she woke up hours later to moans and complaints coming from her husband. When she settled into bed still half asleep herself, she saw Kenny shifting between the sheets and murmuring in his sleep. Caitlyn looked at him carefully. Should she wake him up? That was probably her first mistake.

“Kenny” called Caitlyn moving him by the shoulder and approaching his face “Kenny, wake up”.

Kenny opened his eyes suddenly and Caitlyn received a punch that destabilized her and made her back up before she could even move, Kenny had her arms immobilized to the bed.

“Kenny!” Caitlyn moved to escape his grip “Kenny!” she exclaimed again as he left her arms and started choking her “Kenny is me” she said raising her arms and trying to touch his face as she felt the air escaping from her throat “Ken ...” she repeated unable to finish his name due to lack of air.

When she saw spots in her vision and as her arms tried to touch her husband’s face, she moved her legs and kicked him in the testicles. To which Kenny responded by coming out of his reverie and leaning over on the bed in pain.

Caitlyn crawled out of bed to the floor as she tried to catch her breath. Once she could stop seeing dots in her vision, she got up on shaking legs and locked herself in the bathroom. She slid through the door to the floor and sat there as she tried to get all the air back into her lungs. Caitlyn knew how PTSD worked, she believed that everyone who returned from the war somehow had PTSD, if it wasn’t for the war it was for life.

She didn’t judge Kenny, but she had to admit that being attacked by the person sleeping next to you in bed was scary on another level. You think she would be used to that kind of thing and she was, but not at home, in the place where she was supposed to be safe. She hated to admit it but it was the same feeling she had when she was still living with her father, walking around looking over her shoulder because she never knew when she was going to get a bottle from the back. And she hated to admit it too, but Kenny in that state scared her a little. She knew that in her work she looked fearless and reckless, but deep down she just wanted to feel safe and have someone to hug her at night.

Caitlyn walked over to the mirror and noticed that her cheek was swelling and that her neck had grip marks. She got out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen in search of ice to get high; she sat on the couch while tilting her head, holding the ice.

He had already suggested therapy, a dozen times at least, Caitlyn had begged Kenny to go to therapy for him and when she noticed he didn’t want to do it she asked him to at least do it for her. It didn’t work either. He insisted that he was fine.

Caitlyn leaned back in the chair with her head spinning and fell asleep. The next morning, she awoke to the sound of the coffeepot and as she remembered what had happened the night before, Kenny offered Caitlyn a cup and sat next to her. They both sit in silence, taking the first sips of coffee. Kenny reached out and ran his fingers across Caitlyn’s neck. She just looked at him and pouted.

“I’m sorry” He said finally.

“I know” Caitlyn replied.

“I’m sorry” Kenny repeated “I didn’t come to tell you yesterday because I thought you wouldn’t want to see me”

Caitlyn fell silent and took another sip of coffee.

“You’re good?” she asked after a while.

“Yes,” Caitlyn replied turning to look at him “It doesn’t hurt, but I’m going to report sick for work on Monday, I don’t think the swelling will go down by then” She could tell that he felt guilty, however that wasn’t enough for her.

----flashback----

“Do you have PTSD?” Will asked her.

“Nope, Kenny used to but I think we all have PTSD, if it’s not war, it’s life” Caitlyn answered looking at him “He used to have episodes and he refused to go to therapy” she added “so I left, I didn’t want to repeat cycles”

“Like dad?” Will asked curiously

“Yes, like dad” Caitlyn answered briefly and Will could tell she was in a bad place “Dad got the worst out of me”

“What do you mean?” Will asked, raising his eyebrows.

“He made me feel on the edge all the time” Caitlyn answered looking aside “I never knew what was going to happen, he made me feel anxious”

“Dad was complicated”

“Dad was more than just complicated,” She said “I was just a teenager and he was such a bad person, I was supposed to enjoy the senior year and instead I ended up almost drunk every day”

“How could you…?”

“I ended up in hospitals, a lot” Caitlyn explained “And doctors gave me oxy, a lot”

“At that time I thought you were still going to Stanford” Will whispered “I’m sorry” he added taking her hand into his.

“It’s okay” Caitlyn said, “Truth is; it was easier to explain my injuries since I used to be an athlete, doctors believe me”

“I’m sorry” Will repeated.

“I know, I’m afraid that I will become addict to oxy at any second, the doctor once told me I wasn’t abusing pain killers because I was in real pain because of my injuries” Caitlyn confessed “But I realized know that I was really closed of becoming an addict”

“I saw your medical record, you needed those painkillers,” Will told her “I wished that Jay and I had been more attentive”

“I know you tried, I mean, I have been angry all these years but you are trying now and that’s enough for me to talk to you at least,” Caitlyn said with a little smile “Because Jay is definitely not talking to me”

“He is just trying to do things right” Will added

Caitlyn rolled her eyes “You should have seen how he looked at me when we were working, he hates me”

“He doesn’t hate you, he is just angry” Will told her.

“If you say so” She answered unconvinced

“You should talk to him” Will suggested.

“I will not talk with him, if he wants to talk then he should come to me” Caitlyn answered. If there was one thing Caitlin and Jay shared, it was that they were both stubborn when it came to pride. Will doubted either of them would give their arm to twist.

“You are both so stubborn” Will said, shaking his head.

“Stubbornness is in the family” Caitlyn answered briefly.

-----------------------

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taeken-my-heart · 4 years

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Moirai Chapter 17 (Finale)

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4488

Early morning light filtered through the curtains at your window and you watched as the evening shadows across your ceiling slowly disappeared. You’d barely slept last night, your mind running back and forth between what you should do. Letting go of a 12-year grudge would honestly be good for you…but you just didn’t know how.

You pushed your blankets away, sitting up on the side of your bed and staring down at your toes. The pedicure you’d gotten with Lizzy for your sister’s wedding was still in perfect condition and you wiggled your toes as distraction for your mind.

You had a team meeting this morning at 6am sharp so you really needed to get ready quickly. You’d already been lying in bed 5 minutes after your alarm went off.

Heart clenched with dread, you began quickly preparing for your day, showering, dressing, and grabbing a bagel on the way out the door. Traffic was light this early in the morning and the sun had only just begun to rise. Hues of yellow and orange cast a somber calm in the quiet of your car.

A moment to relax before tackling what was sure to be a nightmare of a day. You spotted Jungkook nearly right away as you stepped into the conference room, but once his eyes caught yours, he shifted quickly, gaze trained on the ground and you watched with growing anxiety as his shoulders sagged.

In all honesty, you’d expected him to come after you right away. To hound you until you cried and begged for him to leave you alone, but this…this was so much worse. Like the leaves on an overwatered plant, he drooped and you could hardly maintain your countenance.

It had been an hour since that meeting and you felt like a zombie, making early morning rounds as you talked with patients about their upcoming procedures and went through paperwork. You knew this wouldn’t last forever; eventually he’d perk up enough to try one more time. That’s just who he was; a fixer. You both dreaded and wanted to see him, to talk to him.

What was there to even say, though? How do you start a long overdue conversation? How do you take down a wall you didn’t realize you’d even constructed?

Well, that wasn’t completely true. You’d known you’d put a wall up around your heart in an effort to protect yourself from him, you just hadn’t realized you’d made it so tall. You weren’t even sure you wanted to take it down yet.

Lizzy greeted you in the hallway, eyes wide and curious as you made your way closer. “Have you talked to him?” She queried gently and pursed her lips as you shook your head no. “Well, you really should at some point, even if it’s to tell him you don’t want to move forward. It would be good for the both of you to have some closure.”

“I know, Liz.” You sighed, “I just haven’t figured out what I want from him yet, whether I want to give him another chance or not. My heart says yes but my brain is telling me I’m a fool.”

Lizzy smiled soft, squeezing your arm. “Remember, it’s been a long time. You’ve both changed. You’re not an idiot for thinking maybe one more try wouldn’t hurt. If he hurt you again, though, I’d butcher him alive.”

You chuckled, careful to keep your volume down. The hallway was crowded today as you stood beside the nurse’s station. Mostly staff loitering outside of patient rooms, talking to one another about the next step in their patient plans.

“Hey, I’ve gotta go check on room 214. Wait here for me, will you?”

“Sure,” you nodded, “I don’t have much to do right this moment anyway.”

Lizzy walked a little further down the hallway, stepping into a room on the left and disappearing. “Hey, Salome, can you grab me Mr. Whittackers chart? I’ve got his surgery in a few hours.”

“Sure.” She smiled, standing and walking to the back wall, searching through the alphabetized manila folders.

“Y/N.” Someone said from behind you and your stomach lurched in discomfort.

Turning around, Jungkook stood looking more handsome than he had any right to. His under eyes were dark from what you presumed was lack of sleep and he’d forgotten to shave this morning. His gaze was paralyzing. “Can we talk?” He asked gently.

Not yet. Not here. You weren’t ready to be anything but angry right now. “No, we can’t.”

“Just for a moment?” He questioned again, moving to your side as you turned to look away from him. “I just want to-”

“No, Jungkook!” You insisted, glaring at him. “I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m too angry to talk to you nicely.”

Jungkook paused, Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I just-”

“I told you, it was all a mistake, I was being rash and stupid. Don’t bring it up anymore, it’s over.” You growled.

He swallowed hard, fingers going to rest on the desk beside you and you quickly spun away, walking in the direction Lizzy had headed only moments before.

“Please, Y/N, I just want to talk, it doesn’t have to be right now but I just want to explain. We could talk later tonight or in a few days, even in a week if that works better.” Jungkook pleaded, trailing after you and you rounded on him, face hot with emotion.

“You’re so selfish!” You shouted and you could hear the hallway’s noise soften to non-existent but it did nothing to dampen your rage. “Everything is always about you, isn’t it, Jungkook? Even after I’ve told you that I don’t want to talk about it you just. keep. picking! How many times do I have to tell you to back off? Your happily ever after doesn’t exist with me so stop hounding me!”

Jungkook’s face fell, eyes slowly filling with tears. Your heart ached at the sight but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing your regret. Salome stood looking stunned, medical chart extended awkwardly in her hand before her arm went limp and she stared down at the desk as though she weren’t witnessing your absolute train wreck of a meltdown.

You chanced a glance around you, spotting Lizzy standing just outside the doorway of 214, eyes heavy like a scolded puppy, and you stopped your rant to stare back at her. She was gripping the doorway beside her, shoulders sagging as she caught your eye. “This is not the place.” She whispered.

Your other coworkers stood around staring, attempting to shield patients from viewing the absolute cataclysm that was your life right now and you felt your anger fizzle like air in an untied balloon. The hairs at the back of your neck prickled and you turned slowly to find the hospitals president standing behind Jungkook, arms folded over his chest and looking like a bull about to be unleashed in a China shop.

“I want to see both of you in my office.” He looked around the hallway, the curious gazes of employees his audience. “Now.”

You swallowed down your cry of panic, smoothing your hand down one side of your scrubs and following the president towards his office, Jungkook behind you like a shadow. The hair on the back of your neck pricked once more from his proximity.

Namjoon directed the two of you into the seats facing his desk as he closed the door to his office. You’d never been in here before, but the deep mahogany of the desk and bookcases made everything feel so much more serious.

The president rounded his table, sitting calm in the cushions of his burgundy wingback. He eyed the two of you quietly, fingers drumming against the grain of his desk and you resisted the urge to squirm.

“Would one of you mind explaining to me why you’re turning my hallways into your own personal theater?” He finally asked. His voice was gentle but you could hear the steel in his tone.

“I apologize, sir,” Jungkook spoke first, “It’s my fault. I was just trying to have a private discussion with Y/N, but I should have waited until we were off the premises. This is not the place for that sort of conversation.”

“Then please explain to me why you didn’t wait.” Jungkook stayed silent and Namjoon sighed, removing the glasses from the bridge of his nose and tossing them idly onto his table. “Jungkook, you’re a first-year resident so it goes without saying that you’re still new here and to our procedures, but knowing the caliber of your school records, I find myself rather surprised. Is this something that’s going to be an issue? Do I need to transfer you?”

“No!” You interjected suddenly and both men turned to survey you. “I apologize for my outburst, sir, I just don’t think a transfer is necessary. Both Jungkook and I are responsible and I don’t think it’s fair to punish him for something we just need to discuss.”

“Then do so.” He replied; stern. “You’ve been with us a year now, Y/N, you should know better than to create a scene like that in the hallways of a professional environment. I’m disappointed. I’m giving you both three days suspension starting immediately. I expect you to use this time wisely.”

You nodded; numb, before standing from your seat and walking to the door with Jungkook in tow. The hall was empty when the two of you walked carefully from the office, closing the door behind you. Jungkook stood, fingers still lingering on the door handle as you pulled at the bottom of your shirt.

You’d never been reprimanded at work in your life. Shame turned your face hot and you just barely resisted the urge to cry.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N.” Jungkook murmured. You couldn’t even look at him. Part of you was still mad, but another part of you knew this was also your fault. Locking feelings like this away only ever did damage. You couldn’t heal if you couldn’t just talk this out.

“Save it for later.” You said, rounding your shoulders. “We’re going to resolve this. Be at my apartment in an hour.”

“I don’t know your new address!” He said as you began to walk away.

“I’ll text it to you.” You called over your shoulder. You were angry and you needed the drive home to cry bitterly and get it out of your system before he got to your place. You wanted a drink badly, but you needed to be completely sober for something like this. Drinks were what got you into this mess in the first place.

One ugly cry and a short, hot shower later, you were pulling on a pair of grey sweatpants and a soft white sweater. You had just barely enough time to make some tea before Jungkook arrived.

A soft knock on the door roused your attention and you called out for him to come in. Jungkook stepped in carefully as you were pouring hot water into a mug and closed the door softly behind him.

“Cup of tea?” You asked, spooning some of the honey and lemon mixture into your hot water as you waited for his reply.

“What kind?” He asked carefully and you kept your eyes fixated on the swirling water in your cup as distraction from the shaky diction of his voice.

“The kind your mom would always give us when we were kids.”

Jungkook paused at the kitchen door, shoving his hands into the pockets of is jeans and leaning against the door frame. “Yes please.” He murmured.

“You can go wait in the living room.” You motioned over your shoulder before reaching for a second mug in the cupboard and preparing his drink.

You made your way in to the living room where he sat, looking small and unsure, and your heart lurched into your throat. You weren’t even sure where to begin.

You joined him on the couch, a space between you, and placed the mugs on the coffee table. Fingers twisted together, anticipation running high as you stared at the shag rug peeking between your toes. You’d thought about having this conversation many times before in the past but never imagined it would actually happen and now you didn’t know how to break the tension.

Jungkook sighed, leaning his head back against the couch and you looked over at him, watching the Adam’s apple in his throat jump. “Can I start?” He asked softly.

“Ok.” You murmured.

Silence descended for what felt too long to be reasonable but you knew he was gathering his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I can’t even begin to convey how sorry I am for just everything. This whole mess is all my fault, starting from day one. I never…I never knew that life would turn out this way.” He sat up, bending forward and grabbing his face in his hands.

“When we were kids, I was so stupid. I wish I could say things would be different if I’d had the perspective I do now, but 10-year-old Jungkook was an idiot. Turns out 30-year-old Jungkook is also an idiot.”

The room felt stuffy with heat and you realized belatedly that you’d forgotten to turn on the air conditioning when you’d gotten home earlier. Jungkook looked damp in his t-shirt and you certainly felt a little wet in your sweater, but you wanted to hear what he had to say too badly to stand up now.

“When we were younger, I started to resent you because our moms always forced us to play together and I just wanted to play with my other friends. Eventually that resentment faded because I felt inexplicably drawn to you. I didn’t know how to get closer and I was confused about why I’d even want to so I just tried to interact in the ways I knew how…which were stupid ways, but we’ve established how dumb I am already. Anyway, none of it was your fault, I just didn’t know how to communicate what I was thinking or feeling.”

He sighed, fingers linking together. “In college it really sunk in how stupid I’d been and I knew that the universe would throw us back together at some point so I decided I was going to show you how I’d changed and how much I regret that stupid decision I made, but I guess I still suck, huh? I’m so sorry, I never meant to try and force you to listen to me or have a conversation with me. Turns out I’m still selfish and don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

“Jungkook,” you scoffed, “how can you expect me to believe you’ve changed when you do this kind of thing? I told you I didn’t want to talk but you still pushed it.”

“That’s true,” he admitted, “and I’m sorry, but this isn’t just black and white anymore and it doesn’t just involve you.” You wanted to argue, but it was true. This relationship was built around the two of you and if you wanted to heal you both needed to say your piece. “Y/N, I was stupid, seriously stupid, but I was eighteen and I was terrified. Try to put yourself in my shoes. I’d believed in soulmates my entire life and then suddenly I turn 18 and find out that not only does my soulmate hate the entire institution of soulmates, but she also hates me. Now I’m supposed to be everything she’s ever wanted in life? That’s so much pressure. I always thought I’d have more time to figure out who I was before meeting the person I was destined to be with, but turns out I’d known her my whole life.”

“Why couldn’t you have communicated that to me?” You frowned, “We could have talked about things.”

Jungkook huffed a laughed, scrubbing a hand down his face, “Come on, don’t act like you were some pro at communication back then. We were teenagers who had no clue what we were doing. This was a huge decision. We were practically kids and being told to, what, start a life together? You can’t genuinely tell me that you would have been happy with me switching gears, pursuing you, and then just getting married young and start popping out babies.”

The idea made you want to shiver. One night with him had already changed so many things. You could only imagine marrying him…and having children with him. The thought made your heart soft and you looked up at him, nodding, “No, you’re right, that would have been way too intimidating, but it would have been nice to have that choice, Jungkook. You didn’t give that to me, you just took it away and assumed you knew my answer. I would have given it a shot, you know?”

“Really?” Jungkook frowned, eyebrow raised. “You would have really given it a chance?”

“Yes!” You insisted, watching the doubt on his face morph, “I really would have. I was so upset with you, but I really genuinely would have tried if you would have. It’s true I never liked the idea of soulmates…but you were different, somehow.”

“Well how could you expect me to know that?” He cried, exasperated, “You told me the universe messed up and there’s no way I could have ever made you happy when all I’d ever done was make you miserable. Do you have any idea how much those words have haunted me? Just a reminder to me that what I was doing was right; I had failed before I could ever even try.”

The look on his face hurt. Eyes shining, lips pinched together in a frown as his shoulders sagged. “That’s not what I meant, though. I was just upset.” You mumbled.

“I’m not a mind reader, Y/N.” Jungkook replied softly, “I’m just a big, dumb, idiot who is still trying to figure out what I’m doing. What would you have done if it had been your birthday first? You can’t honestly in good faith tell me you would have pursued me.”

“No, you’re right. I would have been horrified at first.” You admitted, picking at your finger nail.

He sighed, leaning forward on his elbows, but his eyes focused in on you. He was mesmerizing. “I messed up, I’m sorry. But you weren’t the only one hurting, you know? I suffered all 12 years we were apart, always hearing your words repeated in my head; a constant reminder of what a failure I was. I couldn’t do the one thing the universe had predestined me to do. If I can’t fill fate’s demands, what can I do? I made a lot of bad decisions; I’m not denying it. But I wasn’t trying to hurt you. All I’ve wanted the last 12 years is one more chance to be your friend. I want to prove that I’m not that same guy anymore, I’m not running away from this.”

“What do you want out of this? Marriage? Children?” You asked, eyebrows rising and he flushed but shook his head.

“I’m not thinking about that right now,” he replied adamantly. “All I’m thinking about is you and me right now. One day at a time.” He paused to gauge your reaction before taking a deep breath and plowing on. “Did you know I was outside your window that night?”

You frowned; eyebrows knit together as you paused. “What night?”

“The day you stayed home from school after we’d had our fight. You didn’t come to school and I was worried about you. I stood outside your house for an embarrassingly long-time throwing pebbles at your window, but you never came.” He looked embarrassed and you felt like the floor had fallen out from under you.

Stomach rolling uncomfortably as bile rose in your throat. He’d been outside your house? Nothing could have prepared you.

You were floored.

“What?” A whisper.

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, “I had wanted to apologize and explain what was on my mind, why I was doing what I was doing…but you never came to the window. Eventually, I realized I was being really selfish and decided to give you the space you wanted. I guess I’m still selfish, huh?”

You could barely process what he was saying, it was all so much…too much. Like a caged butterfly, your heart fluttered uncontrollably in your chest.

“A little,” you conceded, “but so am I.” You paused again to think, lips rubbing together as you observed the wicker flower pot beside your couch. So much information. “Do you really think it’s possible to be as happy as everyone says? I don’t like the idea of not being complete without a soulmate.”

“I’m not meant to complete you. I’m meant to compliment you; it’s different. As for happiness…yeah, I do think it’s possible.” He replied gently.

“I wish I could have the type of blind optimism you seem to have. I’m a mess, Jungkook, and I haven’t figured out how to change that yet. I wish I was better at this. I’m really sorry.”

Jungkook shook his head, “You have nothing to apologize for; we’re both kind of a mess right now.”

You chuckled, dry and humorless as you stared over at the entertainment center across the room. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s not true. I absolutely have things to apologize for. I was not an innocent bystander in our history, even if I wish I could say that I was. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to always hear me disparage soulmates and then find out that I was the name on your wrist. You must have felt really hopeless. I should have just communicated with you what I was thinking instead of just cutting you out of my life. It came from a place of pain, but you had no real reason to think that not wanting to be with me would hurt me.”

“I’m sorry about today, too.” Jungkook mumbled, frowning, “I’m sorry about our whole lives, really. I shouldn’t have pushed you to have a conversation you weren’t ready to have. I felt like we’d just barely tapped into something amazing and I wanted so desperately to see where we could take it; I just thought you were scared and that if we talked…that maybe you’d see that I’m trying to be better. It wasn’t the right approach, though. I was just terrified to lose you all over again. It’s not a good excuse.”

“No, you definitely shouldn’t have kept pushing, but I do understand why you did. I’m sorry about yelling at you in the hallway. That was completely unprofessional of me, I was stressed and just lost it. I feel really embarrassed about my reaction.”

He looked like he wanted to refuse your apology again, but you sent him a look and he paused. “I’m sorry about, you know, the last time we were… together.”

Your mind flashed back to his bedroom, waking up wrapped in his arms and you felt that familiar lasso, tied tightly around your heart, begging you to just move forward with this.

“We were both there,” you whispered, shaking your head, “it’s not like you pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to do.”

“Did you-” He paused, hesitant, unsure of whether he should pursue his question but you waited patiently for him to continue. “Did you feel the connection?” He asked; timid.

The connection? The tie between you that latched so hard you’d felt like you couldn’t breathe when you were away from him? Yes, you’d felt it. You still felt it, even now. Together, but not really. You wondered what would happen if you just let your heart have its way.

“Yes,” you admitted, “I feel it.”

His eyes were bright and beautiful and you could see all the words he wanted so badly to say, but he held his tongue, nodding instead. “I understand if you never want to see me again.” He said, picking at his fingernail, “I can apply for a transfer at work, if that’s something that would make you happy. I just want you to be happy.”

“I never said I wanted you to transfer.” You insisted and he watched you hesitantly as you stared out towards the balcony window. It was early afternoon now and you’d be hungry soon. Maybe he was hungry too. “I don’t want to be hurt again, Jungkook.” You admitted and you could already feel the fire licking at your throat as you swallowed down tears.

“I won’t hurt you this time,” he promised before backtracking, “if this is a “time,” I mean.”

You smiled, turning away from him and concentrating on your heart, thrumming steady in your chest. You felt good; calm even. Even if he ended up hurting you again, you needed to know; needed to know what it could be like to fall in love with him, to be with your soulmate; someone who was made to compliment you. You wanted to know.

“This is a “time.”” You nodded, turning to look back at him, feeling shy and a little embarrassed.

“Are you sure?” He murmured and you nodded.

You were sure.

“Things aren’t going to be what you want them to be for a while because, honestly, I don’t trust you. I want to, though. I want you to prove that this time is real, that I’m not being stupid for giving you another chance. Only one, Jungkook. If you mess this up, I won’t be this stupid again, I swear.”

“I don’t have any expectations.” Jungkook shook his head. He looked like he wanted to leap out of his seat and hold you, but you were grateful he refrained. “I will do my best to not mess this up. I need your help, though. We need to have open communication because I’m an idiot and if I can do something wrong, I will. I don’t want to ruin this.”

You couldn’t help your laugh then, nodding. “How about we help each other?”

He smiled. “Yes please.”

The room went silent as you both stared at one another, a quiet sort of acceptance of where things were right now; of the potential for so much more. “What now?” Jungkook whispered and you pondered that question carefully.

“Well, now I’m hungry…so how about we order some dinner and just talk?”

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him smile like that; like happiness was made for just the two of you in this little bubble of your apartment. It was like an explosion in your veins, wild and reckless, and made you feel like maybe fate did know what she was doing when she put the two of you together.

Jungkook grinned, wide and toothy and your heart raced. “Perfect.”

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it’s over. This is seriously so bittersweet for me, I love this story so, so much. Never fear, there will be an epilogue. I’m not gonna let you go through all that pain and then give you no reward, haha.

Thank you so, so much for sticking it out and being here with me. This is a story that is very close to my heart and I’m so grateful for everyone who read it and loved it with me! <3

Stay tuned for an epilogue!

Chapter 16

Epilogue

#btsbookclub #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #complete #I can't believe it's over #This is so bittersweet #There is an epilogue #never fear

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missmonsters2 · 5 years

Text

Leave Me Lonely

@eseqsays: Hiyo! May I request 12 and 17 with Natasha Romanoff x Reader please? I am in the mood to hurt. @marvelouschloe: Natasha x reader. 13 and 20 (angst)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Prompt Request: @yourmainlove, @eseqsays, @marvelouschloe 💗

- 12: I don’t even care that you’re breaking me. I am an absolute fucking moron because I’m always going to love you. - 13: We’re falling apart, and you don’t even care! - 14: I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with being just your friend when I want you in my bed. - 17: I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care. - 20: If you walk out that door, we’re done.

Notes: Thank you for sending these in! I hope you don’t mind that I’ve combined some of them as they’re similar and just fit perfectly in this story!

Warnings: Angsty angst sadness :(

Count: 3469

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“If you walk out that door, we’re done.”

You stood before the door, hand on the knob, throat burning but refusing to let any more tears fall.

Because you’ve had enough.

A part of you isn’t sure exactly what caused everything to lead up to this moment because you had believed in forever beforehand.

Because you love Natasha.

And now, everything was gone, and you can’t tell whose fault it was.

Maybe it was Natasha’s fault for being a coward.

Maybe it was yours for believing forever could exist between the two of you.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

A month earlier...

“Oh my god, shut up!” You playfully said as you slapped Natasha on the shoulder, the redhead laughing so hard you thought you could see tears in her eyes.

“I can’t believe you jumped so hard,” Natasha said between her laughter. You rolled your eyes, shifted your legs, so it rested better against Natasha’s lap.

It was movie night, and the two of you always got together alone to watch whatever movie one of you picked.

Natasha picked a horror movie knowing full well you were terrible with them. The number of times you jumped into her arms or hid under the blanket, eyes just peeing over the edge amused her to no ends.

“It’s scary!” You defended yourself.

“We’ve fought literal aliens over the years and other freaky stuff, and you’re scared of this horror movie?” Natasha snorted.

“Yeah,” you said. “And you know what we’ve never fought? Ghosts. This shit is freaky.”

Natasha only snorted softly again but didn’t say anything as the two of you resumed watching the movie.

It was silent, only the movie playing as you two focused on the screen. Natasha had her hands on your legs, stroking softly at your shin idly.

It made you warm.

Eventually, you had shifted, so the two of you were lying on the couch with Natasha on the inside. Her hand rested against your hips, drawing light circles over your exposed skin.

It was bringing goosebumps.

But it wasn’t anything new.

Even with the movie playing, your mind wandered to Natasha.

It’s been like this for two years. You were new to the team when you first came, difficult for you to adjust as you never had anybody to rely on before.

Working in the team dynamic was new for you too.

It took time, but Natasha was someone you trained a lot with, and she took her time, never rushing you to open up.

The friendship was initially slow, but before the two of you knew it, it grew into something more.

But at the same time, not enough.

The two of you were friends, there was no doubt about it. You would die for her without a second thought, and you knew she would do the same for you.

But it was like there was this invisible barrier that kept the two of you from being more.

Sure, you could touch her. You could hold her hand, stroke her skin, or lean your head on her. But you couldn’t sleep with her or kiss her.

You could tell her you love her, but never that you were in love with her.

These were boundaries that were set up by Natasha, so maybe the barrier wasn’t that invisible.

But she never slept with anyone else, never dated anyone else.

So, this was enough for you for now.

Forever doesn’t need to be rushed.

Plus, you were pretty sure things would go south if you confessed or cornered Natasha anytime soon.

“That was an awful movie.”

Natasha’s voice broke you out of your thought, her breath on your exposed ear made you shiver lightly.

You noticed the movie ended.

“You picked it,” you teased her and Natasha rolled her eyes with a smile.

She fully wrapped her arm around your waist and pulled you close.

“Right,” she drawled. “Your turn to pick something, then, and no TV shows.”

“Why not!” You whined, earning a chuckle from the redhead.

“You pick TV shows that are entirely too interesting, and I cannot afford to binge-watch something this late, not when Steve wants us at the training room by 6AM tomorrow.”

You groaned, letting your head fall back slightly.

“Maybe we should head to bed then,” you sullenly say, thinking about how tired you were going to be in the morning.

Natasha sighed but nodded, but neither of you made a move to get up.

“Are you staying the night again?” Natasha asked, tapping her finger lightly on your stomach.

“Mhm,” you hummed, eyes closed. “Unless you’re kicking me out tonight.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Natasha tells you softly, and you grin. She shifts a little, and it’s a sign for you to get up.

You stretch as you do, shirt riding up and you see from the corner of your eye that it catches Natasha’s attention.

You smirk a little before heading off to the washroom.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next week is busy as you’re busy training the new agents with Steve and Natasha was sent on a mission with Clint.

“Alright! That’s enough for the day, go hit the showers,” Steve yells, and the agents sigh in relief before shuffling out the door one by one.

Once everyone is gone, you chuckle a little bit as you take a chug of water.

“What?” Steve asks you with a slight quirk in his lips and raised brow.

“Nothing, just Amber giving you the bedroom eyes while training is hilarious.”

“What?” Steve exclaims while the tip of his ears flushes slightly as he drinks water himself.

“C’mon, you’re telling me you don’t notice her giving off the feral pheromones every day this week?”

Steve starts coughing, which makes you laugh even more.

“Like you’re one to talk,” he grumbles.

“What do you mean?” You ask as your laugh dies down.

Steve rolls his eyes, shifting his weight onto one leg.

“Like you’re not eyeing Natasha like she’s a drop of water and you’ve been stranded in the Sahara desert.”

You slapped Steve, who jumped out the way with a laugh.

“Oh my god, I do not!” You blushed.

Steven just laughed even more before the two of you settled down.

“But seriously, why don’t you just move your relationship with her to the next level. It’s obvious the two of you are crazy about each other. I haven’t seen Natasha like that...well, since ever.”

You merely shrug.

“I just...I don’t know. I don’t think we’re there yet.”

“But you want to be there,” Steve points out.

The conversation is almost making you uncomfortable because you’ve never gotten the chance to speak about how you felt about Natasha.

“I...I like where we are now,” you tell Steve who just gives you a crooked grin.

“Why are you holding back?”

You merely smile.

“There’s no need to rush forever.”

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Later that day, you see Natasha talking to Clint and Bruce, and you smile as you walk up to them.

“Hey!” You greet happily. “You made it back!”

Natasha just merely smiles.

“Well,” you drag. “It’s movie night. I’ll catch you at your place later?”

“No, I’m actually busy tonight,” Natasha diverts. Before you can say anything, someone calls her name, and she turns and leaves.

You stand there staring at Clint and Bruce, confusion written all over your face.

“Okay, that was weird, right?” You say to them, and they looked confused too.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha is avoiding you.

You’re not sure why.

But she is.

And everyone knows it too.

You’re wondering if you did something to make her mad, but in the past, Natasha had no problem calling you out if you did something to upset her.

Every time you try to talk to her, she manages to escape. If she sees you down the hall, suddenly she has to go the other way.

There were no more movie nights.

She wasn’t in her room at night.

It was frustrating the hell out of you.

And one day, you just had enough.

So, after a training session with Steve and everyone left, you cornered Natasha.

“Okay, what gives?”

Natasha seems shocked that you’ve trapped and confronted her.

“What do you mean?” She asks as if nothing is wrong.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You frown.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Natasha denies, trying to walk around you but you block her again.

“See! Like that, you’re avoiding me.”

Natasha doesn’t say anything, but you can tell she is getting frustrated herself the way her forehead crinkles.

“Just...did I do something? Just tell me if I did something and I’ll fix it.”

“It’s nothing you did,” Natasha tries to tell you but you cut her off again.

“Well, why are you avoiding me like I have the bubonic plague? Every time I try to talk to you, you leave. When you see me coming in your direction, you turn somewhere else. You’ve canceled movie nights two nights in a row now.”

“Are you done?” Natasha asked, rather callously.

You tilt your head back in a surprised manner from her tone.

“No, I’m not done actually,” you tell her, feeling the anger rise up in you a little bit. “I don’t know what your problem is, but if you have something to say, just say it because I don’t deserve how you’re treating me.”

“I don’t have anything to say!” Natasha says, frustratedly at you.

“Then why are you treating me like this!”

“I’m not treating you like anything! If I don’t want to talk to you or don’t want to hang out with you all the time, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re the one who’s making a big deal out of it.”

The callous words hit you in the gut, and Natasha can tell.

It leaves you breathless.

She starts to call your name, but you cut her off.

“You’re right,” you say, clearing your throat because it feels like it’s closing up.

“My bad. Do whatever you want, Nat.”

You try your best to sound normal as your turn and leave.

Natasha stands alone in the room, more frustrated than before and groans.

She was really fucking this up.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next week, it’s you who avoids Natasha.

Though, you’re trying to be less obvious about it. You’ll stay and chat in a big group, even if Natasha is there. You don’t run the opposite direction if you see her coming. You merely give her a tight smile and keep walking.

The only painful thing about it is that Natasha doesn’t seem to be making an effort to corner you as you did to her.

It sucks.

It hurts.

“You should just talk to her again,” Steve encourages you. It’s already late at night, and you look pathetic drinking at the bar alone, but you feel as sad as you look.

But you sigh and stand up because Steve is right.

“Wish me luck,” you mumble.

You make your way to Natasha’s room, your nerves out of whack as you try to pep talk yourself that everything is fine.

You’re going to talk to Natasha, it’ll be heartfelt, and you’ll get down to the bottom of whatever it is, apologize, and makeup.

Everything will be fine is what you tell yourself as you stand in front of her door.

You take a deep breath and release heavily before knocking.

There’s giggling on the other side of the room that makes you cock your brow.

You knock more loudly and incessantly.

Then the door swings open and you see Natasha standing there, looking slightly disheveled and breathless.

“What is it?” She asks you like she doesn’t have time for you.

It stings, but you need to push on.

“I just want to talk,” you try to say disarmingly as not to make her defensive.

“It’s not a good time,” Natasha tells you, the door blocking your view from anything else.

“Then make time,” you say non-negotiably.

Natasha is about to say something else, but then there’s another voice in the back.

“Natasha? Who’s there? Hurry and come back! It’s getting pretty cold without your body.”

The annoying giggle in there again.

For a moment, you’re incensed, and you push the door open anyway even though it’s clear Natasha doesn’t want you inside.

You see one of the new agents sitting there, top off but bra still on with wine and cheese on the table.

You turn back to Natasha.

“What the hell is this?”

You may not be dating, but you both know you’re not just friends.

And this feels like a swift betrayal in your stomach. It drops when you see a dark red mark on the new agent’s neck.

Natasha doesn’t say anything, so you turn back to the new agent.

“Leave,” you scowl.

The new agent picks up her shirt, scurrying away while Natasha sighs.

“That was unnecessary,” she says as she straightens out her clothing.

“What you’re doing is unnecessary!” You shoot back at her.

“I don’t understand,” you say softly. “Three weeks ago, everything was fine, and now we’re falling apart, and you don’t even care. What’s changed?”

Natasha shifts uncomfortably.

“We’re friends,” she tells you, and you look confused.

“Yes,” you agree, not sure what Natasha is leading with.

“That’s it,” she tells you, and the realization hits you like a truck.

“Oh my god,” you groan. “You heard Steve and me talking that one time, didn’t you?”

“I came back early,” she tells you, but you know she means that she was eavesdropping.

“Well, we are friends. I told him I like what we have now.” You’re trying to peddle back because it’s obvious this has set Natasha off like you knew it would.

“For now it is,” Natasha agrees, “but you want more. I can’t give you that.”

You sigh.

“Nat, I’m not asking you to give me more. You give me plenty as it is right now.”

“No,” Natasha injects. “I can’t give you anything more. Ever.”

The words make you furrow your brows because yes, you believed that Natasha just needed more time to adjust to being more, to come to terms that she loved you.

“You can’t seriously be telling me you think we’re just friends,” you say to her.

“I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”

“I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care!” You tell her, putting your hand to your forehead.

“Friends don’t touch like we do, don’t stare at each other like we do, don’t get jealous the way we do.”

“I’ve never been jealous,” Natasha denies, and you scoff with a roll of your eyes.

“Right, so four weeks ago when you beat the shit out of the new agent Darren during training for flirting with me, that was just a coincidence?”

Natasha doesn’t say anything.

It’s so frustrating, her standing there like none of it matters.

Like you don’t matter.

“I’m not asking that we change anything right away, but don’t stand there and lie to yourself that you don’t have feelings for me,” you tell her softly and Natasha bristles.

“You’re being delusional if you think we’re more than friends,” Natasha stands her ground firmly.

You’re not sure why, but it pisses you off.

Because if she thinks you’re just friends, why does she treat you the way she does?

Why does she hold you during movie night, seek you out in the crowds, hold your hand softly, let you in her bed?

Why would she go and show you all the different sides of her?

“You’re delusional if you think we aren’t,” you fire back at her, taking a step towards her.

Natasha stands in one place, but you can tell she’s nervous.

“I love you,” you confess to her. “I’m in love with you, Nat. I have been, for a while now.”

The words make Natasha shut her eyes painfully.

“Don’t,” she warns you, but you press on.

“And I know you’re in love with me too. I’m not saying we have to date, but all I’m asking is that you acknowledge we’re different.”

“Why is this not good enough for you!” Natasha finally blows up. “What we have is so good, can’t you see that? No one has it as good as we do.”

“What we have can be better.”

“There is no better!” Natasha yells at you. “In our line of work, this is as good as it gets. Being in a relationship makes you vulnerable. Enemies knowing our vulnerabilities makes us an easy target. It’s not the same as Clint, where I can just hide you from the rest of the world. We both belong to our responsibilities.”

“Nothing hasn’t even happened yet!”

“And nothing will, because what we have stays as it is, or we have nothing at all.”

Natasha has a finality to her tone, but you don’t accept it.

“You say that as if in this very moment, or even if we try to go back to nothing, that if I die, it won't affect you. It’s too late, Nat, you’re already in love with me! We deserve happiness too.”

“I was happy, why weren’t you?” Natasha asks, almost tiredly.

“I was,” you tell her softly, “but eventually, I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with being just your friend when I want you in my bed.”

“And what?” Natasha asks you harshly. “Because I can’t give you what you want, you’re going to leave me?”

You shake your head. “I am fine with being just your friend if that’s what you truly felt about me. But you don’t.”

“But that’s what I’m choosing.”

Tears well up in your eyes, a gnawing in your stomach that tells you you’re being foolish.

“You’re a coward,” you tell her, voice raw as it stings in the back of your throat.

“You’re so scared of being happy for once, to get what you truly want because you think you don’t deserve it. Well, newsflash, Nat, you deserve the world and more, and I wish you’d let yourself feel that.”

“I’m not worth it, this far in and I’m already breaking you,” Natasha says with a shake of her head.

She just wants you to concede, so everything can go back to the way it was.

She doesn’t know how to tell you, yes, she is in love with you too. But she can live with only being your friend.

Because she won’t survive if she knows what your lips feel like, how soft your body feels, the way you’d tremble underneath her as she takes you, the way you’d taste, and the way you’d look as she brings you over the edge and it all went away.

Whether you die on a mission, her enemies got to you, or somehow you’d fall out of love with her and leave her.

It was so selfish of her, but she scared of more.

You’re right, she is a coward.

You merely shake your head, tears falling from your eyes and it’s terrible for Natasha to see and be the cause of it.

“This was incredibly stupid,” you say, voice trembling. “I don’t even care that you’re breaking me. I am an absolute fucking moron because I’m always going to love you. But that isn’t enough for you to want more, is it?”

You don’t even wait for Natasha to answer as you walk past her.

“Wait--”

“You’re right, I’m an asshole because I’m not fine with just being your friend. I can’t stand here and pretend with you that everything is alright, that’s I’m not in love with you, and you’re not in love with me, that you’re not deliberately just choosing to ignore everything.” You tell her as you put your hand on the knob.

Natasha panics.

Sirens are going off in her head because she just knows that if you walk out that door, she’s going to lose you forever.

That the two of you will really be nothing, and Natasha realizes that maybe she can’t live with that either.

“If you walk out that door, we’re done.”

Those are the wrong words, and Natasha doesn’t know why it slipped out of her mouth.

But she feels her heart breaking too, and she doesn’t know how to get you to stay.

She can only see your back, but Natasha hears a humorless chuckle as you turn the knob.

“We were already done.”

You leave the room, the door shutting with a soft click.

Perhaps that was as good as it could get, but neither of you realized that it could get worse too.

You pressed your lips together, walking down the empty hallway.

Forever did exist, you think, just not the way you thought it would.

#mm: my fics #natasha romanoff x reader #Natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x ofc #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanov imagine #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #Avengers #avengers imagine #Avengers AU #avengers reader insert #Modern Avengers AU #MCU #genre: angst #prompt request

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davidobitch · 4 years

Text

If You Walk Away, You’ll Never Know - David Dobrik

(A/N: This is A LOT longer than I expected so i had to make it separate parts but I'm not hating it. I haven’t written anything in literally a year so IM SORRY if it’s bad. But enjoy!)

PART 1

You and David have been friends since freshman year of high school. Best friends to be exact. After graduation, you followed him to L.A. with Natalie and you’ve been living your best life ever since.

You never thought of David as anything other than your best friend but lately he’s been flirty and touchy and you’re starting to think otherwise. It’s not that he’s unattractive, but you cherished your friendship more than anything.

“Hello Earth to (y/n),” You hear David say from across the room, “Are you in or not?”

You hadn’t realized how much you zoned out while everyone was trying to plan a trip to Hawaii.

“Sorry, sorry! I forgot I had to pay attention,” you joked, cracking a smile.

David fired back at you, “(y/n) you should always pay attention to me. How else am I supposed to live?” Everyone let out a small laugh and made jokes about David being dramatic. “Ok so now that everyone is actually paying attention. Hawaii. We leave late tonight, does everyone have their ticket?”

The room erupted with a chorus of yes’s only for you to remember you haven’t had a chance to buy yours yet.

You started to tell David that you forgot to buy yours but the conversation quickly moved on before you could get the sentence out.

“So we’ll get to Hawaii about 6am. And then I made dinner reservations at 7. So you guys are free to do whatever until dinner,”

“Or do WHOever” Todd quietly says in the back, causing everyone to scream with laughter.

You caught David glancing at you, only to make his cheeks heat up. You pushed the thought of being with him like that to the back of your head. Natalie shoots you a look as you start shifting in your seat. You shake your head at her, mentally telling her it’s nothing important.

David goes over last minute details about the flight and when to meet back at his house before everyone leaves. You leave Natalie and David alone to plan the trip while you finish packing. About an hour into gathering everything, your bedroom door opens and Natalie struts in.

“Okay. Spill,” she says, locking the door behind her. She settles into your bed waiting for you to talk. You raise your eyebrow, confused on what she wants you to talk about. “I saw you and Dave look at each other after Todd’s comment. Is there something I don’t know about?”

You let out a sigh, wanting to avoid this talk. Mainly because you didn’t have an answer for yourself. “No. Nothing is happening. I don’t know why he looked at me.” You said, semi-truthfully.

You were telling the truth. Nothing was happening. But you partly knew why he looked at you. It was no secret David had a baby crush on you. He’s had it since high school. But he never acted on his feelings.

“Okay, so then why did you look at him? Oh my god, (y/n), do you like-” Natalie started to say, rather loudly, before a knock on the door interrupted her.

You thanked all the gods above for the timing of this knock. You opened the door to David standing on the side wall. The inside of your chest warmed, enjoying how cute he looked. And then he opened his mouth.

“Wooooah what’s going on in here? 2 girls? Door Locked? Ooooo” You rolled your eyes while letting him in. David felt the tension in the room and looked back and forth between you and Nat. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” you said while Natalie said the complete opposite. A devilish grin was planted on her face, only throwing David off more than he already was.

“Ok well you two can finish whatever conversation you were having when I leave. But first. (y/n), your plane ticket.” David says while settling in on your bed.

“Yeah, I meant to talk to you about that. I haven’t been free to buy it but as soon as I’m done packing I’ll do that.”

“No, like, I bought it for you. I thought you knew. I told Natalie to tell you,”

Both of you turned your head to see Natalie dying of laughter, “I knew I was forgetting something” she says in between breaths.

You shake your head, letting the two bicker at each other. Part of you was surprised that they haven’t had a thing for each other, considering they were friends long before you and David were. Not to mention they acted like they were a couple anyways.

Another 30 minutes goes by before Natalie leaves and it’s just you and Dave.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence before you remembered to thank him for the ticket. “You didn’t have to buy my ticket. I was gonna get to it eventually.”

“I know you were but let’s be honest...you procrastinate way too much and I know you weren’t gonna buy it until we had to leave,” you smiled at him, knowing he’s totally right, “Plus there’s no reason to go if you didn’t. So I had to make sure I had you there with me.”

Your heart fluttered with every word he spoke. It took everything in you not to jump on the bed and kiss him right there. But you pushed your feelings away again.

“The only reason you want me there is so I can be your assistant while Natalie is out being a normal human”. You retorted throwing your last bag on the floor next to your suitcase.

You joined David on the bed, laying your legs across his lap. Looking at the time, you saw it was only 9:30, which means there’s still 2 hours until everyone was gonna come back over to go to the airport.

“Let’s watch a movie or something,” David says as he grabs your remote and puts on the first thing he sees. Half way through the movie you end up falling asleep. You don’t know how long you were asleep for but when you woke up, the same movie was still on and you were laying on David’s chest. Still half asleep, you felt David’s hand in your hair. Not wanting him to know you were awake, you slowly turned your body so he had more space to play with your hair. He took his hand away as you turned, but quickly went back to playing with your hair as you settled. Minutes passed until David’s phone started ringing. Being able to see half the screen, you saw it was Zane facetiming, probably to tell Dave he was on his way over. After the second ring, he picks up, not wanting to disturb your sleep.

“Hey, what’s up?” David whispers.

“Why are you whispering? You sound like a creepy dude,” Zane yells through the screen. By the other voices in the background you can tell Heath, Todd, and Mariah were with him.

“(y/n)’s sleeping. I don’t want to wake her.” A chorus of aw and gagging noises filled the room.

You continue to listen to the conversation, hoping something juicy would be said but all that was talked about was the trip and what time they’ll be at David’s.

After ending the call, you feel David playing with your hair again. “Hey, (y/n), you have to wake up,” He said quietly, moving the hair out of your face. You stayed “asleep”, wishing you could stay like this for the next week. David gently shook you, telling you again to wake up. Pretending like you weren’t awake for the last 30 minutes, you tilted your head up to look at David, not realizing how close you two were. You watched as David glanced at your lips, then back at you.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you,” You say, gathering your thoughts and moving away from his body. “We should probably get everything ready.” Jumping off your bed, you grab your bags and walk out into the living room where Natalie was, now with Carly, Erin, and Matt.

“Well look who finally decided to come back out after 2 HOURS,” Natalie emphasizes, raising her eyebrows at you.

“Oh shut up. We were watching a movie,” You retort, rolling your eyes.

“Well, I was watching the movie. (Y/n) was sleeping,” You hear David say as he walks out behind you. A shiver runs down your spine as his hand gently brushes against your back.

After getting everything situated at the airport, there was still 15 minutes until boarding. Half the group was falling asleep in their seats and the other half was causing a scene, of course for the vlogs. You watched as Jeff and Jason fight over something stupid, making David have a giggle fit. The camera pans over to you, “So (y/n), you ready for this big trip,” David asks, licking his lips a little too slowly. Thoughts of you and him flooded your mind. You wanted to kick him for being so David. He was charming and goofy, you’ve never met someone so evil but so sweet at the same time. His intentions, no matter what the situation is, are pure.

“I’m ready to sleep,” You say throwing your hoodie over your head only for it to be pulled off.

“You literally just slept at the house.”

Taking your hoodie back from him, you hid under it again just for him to pull it off...again.

“David!” you hiss, “Let me sleep for the next 4 minutes please.” Kicking him gently, David quietly laughs but doesn’t leave you alone.

“But who else is supposed to stay awake with me on this flight?” He questions, tossing the clothing item back at you.

You shoot a look at him, “David. We both know, out of all of us, you’re going to be the first person to knock out.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. The most sleepy person out of the group, pretending like he’s going to be awake for longer than 40 minutes.

His mouth opens, as if he was going to say something but closed as they announced your flight was boarding.

You ended up sitting in between David and Jeff with Zane and Matt behind you.

Great. You thought to yourself. I’m definitely not getting any sleep.

#imagine #david dobrik #davids vlogs #david dobrik imagine #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #the vlog squad #prompt #masterlist #part 1

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myreygn · 4 years

Text

weak

Out of the Haikyuu!! stories I’ve written so far, this is probably my favourite.

summary: Everyone is weak sometimes, but not everyone can show it to the world. Iwaizumi Hajime is weak too and there's only one person in the universe who is allowed to see that.

Originally posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22754911

Inspired by this video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgzWw6hglzg

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. Very strong, if not to say incredibly strong, for there weren't many high school students who could fight an old biker with way too many tattoos and survive it without any bruises.

He didn't even think about it any longer. It had always been this way. He was strong and that allowed those around him to be weak from time to time.

It didn't matter if it was Oikawa experiencing some bad self issues when he thought about Tobio for too long or Kunimi having a breakdown after too many hours of being with too many people.

Iwaizumi was strong for them. He held Oikawa and let him cry onto his shoulder and snot into his chest. He talked to Kunimi through the closet door and listened to him. He was just there. And it wasn't something to think about if he should do it or not. He just did it.

It wasn't a problem to be strong. Iwaizumi was proud of being strong. It felt good to help his friends out of their problems and to see how they looked up to him, how he was the only one the Mad Dog listened to and how strangers or people from other schools and teams gulped at his sight of jumping to spike the ball over the net.

Iwaizumi liked to be strong. He was glad that he had been able to gain enough discipline, that he had been able to become this way. Not that there had been any other chance for him.

His aunt had watched some episodes of Game of Thrones with him a few years ago and he didn't remember everything, but there was one scene still stuck in his head: the queen looking at the guy who played Boromir in Lord of the Rings and saying: “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There's no middle ground.”

This sentence was a pretty good summary of his life at home. He had already known that when he was still a kid, but the moment he heard the sentence coming out of this woman's mouth, he fully realized it. It was dangerous there with his parents, fighting and getting mad and it was horrible but better since the day he got stronger than his father.

There were those days he woke up in the morning and felt the fight rising. He haven't slept longer than until 6am anyways in the last six or seven years, but those days were the worst. When they came, he got up as fast as possible and left the house, no matter if it was hot summer or cold winter and dark outside. He always left a short note on the fridge though – not that there was anyone in the house who would've read it.

In the early mornings he got something to eat and then he took a bus to no matter where. It was warm in them. When he reached the final station, he took the same bus back. And around 10am he went to the gym.

Not always though. Sometimes he'd wait until midday and then visit his friends, asking if he could stay at their place, pretending that he just needed help with some homework. Sometimes Makki, sometimes Mattsun. They spent a lot of their free time at home.

But his first impulse was always Oikawa.

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. And there was only one person in the world he could allow himself to be weak around.

“Iwa-chan? You're in here?”

No. No, please, no. He shouldn't be here. Nobody should be here.

“Iwa-chan? Are you crying?”

He was supposed to be alone in here. The others were outside, waiting for the bus, they were OUTSIDE …

“Hey, I come in, okay? I come to you.”

He didn't want Tooru to come closer, but the moment he felt his warmth, his arms around his shoulders, he gave in.

“It's okay. It's okay, Hajime. It's okay.”

Sometimes Iwaizumi remembered the good years. Those that vanished long, long ago. The happy years he'd spent in a not-broken household that hadn't been the hell he was living at now. Those years were a bright, good thing to remember, but it was also painful because it would never be bright and good again.

It wasn't his fault, he knew it wasn't. But on some days, when wine wasn't enough anymore, his mother would drink some other stuff. And then she told him … things. Things about him and things about the reason she and his father fought so much.

Iwaizumi didn't know if she was one of the people who were more honest when they were drunk or more mean when they were drunk. He liked to tell himself that he didn't care but then again he caught himself hoping and praying that it wasn't true what she told him. She was his mother after all.

And sometimes it was like it had been before. She came into his room in the evening and sat down and apologized. And then she cried and he held her because he was strong and she was weak and the day after she'd scream at his father again. The day after it was over.

But those short moments were the moments that stopped him from leaving. Those few evenings which made him think that his mother and maybe his father as well would be sad if he would move out and so he came back every night and stayed until next day when the feeling got him up and out of the house again.

Iwaizumi hated it. It felt like he would betray himself every time he threw his bag in the corner and yelled “I'm back!” even though no one ever gave him an answer. Like he would cause another scar on his soul just because he was weak.

It wasn't correct that Oikawa was the only person he could be weak around. Iwaizumi could also be weak when he was alone and couldn't stand the pressure anymore.

Oikawa was just the only one who could catch him before he hit the ground.

“He told me I'm worthless.”

“He told you shit, Iwa-chan.”

It wasn't funny, but he laughed. Just a bit. It felt good.

Tooru stroke through his hair and placed a light kiss on his forehead.

“You're a lot worth to me. I'd definitely miss something if you weren't there.”

“He wanted to hit me. I caught his hand but he almost got me.”

“Good. Just don't stop to stand up. It won't last forever. Soon you'll leave.”

He leaned onto Tooru's shoulder.

“I don't know where to go. I don't want to live alone.”

“Yeah? Me neither. Wow, what a coincidence! Two childhood friends who don't want to live alone and finish school at the exact same time. Hm, I wonder if they'll find a solution?”

He looked at his friend in disbelief, but the only thing he saw in the setter's face was pure honesty and a warm smile.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course! What should I do without my favorite ace yelling at me everyday?”

He couldn't help but sob and cry again, tears of joy this time, and Tooru patted his back and stroke his hair and held him.

“It's okay. It's okay, Hajime. It's okay.”

Iwaizumi didn't know what he would've done without Oikawa. Sure, he was an idiot and a jerk and annoying and silly, but he loved Shittykawa. It wouldn't be a lie to say that Oikawa Tooru was the most important person in Iwaizumi's life.

Sometimes he felt ashamed when he was crying and laying in his arms. He then thought of how this would seem to an outsider: Seijou's scary ace, a baby. A loser. And then he was worried if Oikawa saw him like this.

He didn't like these thoughts. He hid from them as well as he could, but mostly they came at night and the dark wasn't a good place to hide from a shadow. They came closer without him realizing it and then he had nightmares and got up at 4 or 5am and ran through the park until his legs and lungs exploded, tried to escape.

These mornings were the time that made him feel especially weak. And when he was sitting under a tree in the park at 6am, Oikawa was the only one he could call. Then they talked for an hour or maybe two or three and met at the gym after that. It felt good to spike the balls. Like a relief.

And when something broke, Oikawa was there to fix it.

Iwaizumi Hajime was strong. But he was also human. And it was easy to shatter a human into pieces. Ideally there was someone in the back to pick the pieces up and repair the broken body.

That was okay.

“Tooru? Am I weak?”

“You're the strongest person I know.”

“Look at me! I'm crying, telling you about how I feel and what's wrong!”

“Isn't that a strength?”

Tooru smiled his Tooru-smile and looked deep into his eyes.

“People break down from time to time. And the stronger they are normally, the harder it is to get up again. You got up every time. Not alone but with my help. And you know what, Hajime? It's okay.”

Iwaizumi Hajime was weak.

And it was okay.

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redfoxwritesstuff · 4 years

Text

Kit went to Betrayal

And first off, let me say Thank You. To every single one of you who reached out, shared my desperate pleas for assistance, contributed to the funds or cheered me on. I legit couldn’t have done this without every single one of you. And you all have made this a truly one of a kind birthday. Thank you to @nuggsmum, @winterisakiller, @nonsensicalobsessions, @alexakeyloveloki, @theluckykittencalvin just to name a few. Seriously, thank you everyone!

Below the cut is more birthday ramblings from the Atlanta GA airport since my 3 hour layover just turned into a 4.5 hour layover. But I found food and power so all is good.

There was some sadness- I didn’t spend it with my daughter this year or my husband. But I did get to spend it with the awesome @winterisakiller, talking shop and clutching coffee. I got to meet the ever lovely @nonsensicalobsessions and tease her in person with all that she doesn’t know about Winter’s upcoming Glass Slipper series and about Dust. The look on her face when I forgot that *everyone* dies in the beginning of Dust and so I offered as a hint for the ending- “Someone dies” was truly priceless. I *though* I was giving a hint but yeah- yeah, you’re right- that’s not news.

First off. I flew into Newark, NJ because like- it’s SO MUCH CHEAPER to fly into that airport and hotels are cheaper. It was a redeye flight and I only slept a few hours. Oh- and I hadn’t eaten since 10am that day. Great planning, right? I planned everything. What I didn’t count on was a 3 hour paralysis leaving the airport thanks to Anxiety. Fuck you, anxiety and fuck you NJTransit.

After 3 hours I finally found a customer assistance phone number to figure out how many ‘zones’ to buy bus fare for. In the 3 hours I DID manage to find the bus stop, find what route I needed and even download the app! But the zones? HA! Fuck YOU NJTransit. Your FAQ and bus info sheets should REALLY not assume people know what the fuck a “zone is”

So! I get on the bus- 3 hours and one egg roll later. Google maps in hand (I’ve sold my soul and data to goggle, now PLEASE don’t get me lost). I watch and there are something like 30!! STOPS!! Before mine? The fuck?!

So my stop comes up and I press the stop request button. And nothing happens. Bye stop, it was nice seeing you. 3 stops later I find a part of the strip that works and my 7 minute walk to the hotel became a 14 minute walk.

And the 14 minute walk became a 20 minute walk because even with google maps *this bitch* got lost. Fuck you google, I trusted you.

I check in and it’s cold in the room. but the heater says it’s 75 in there? Fuck whatever, I jacked that shit up to 90 and stood there. Kit’s from Alaska. Kit still gets bitchy when cold and it was something like 33f out. At least I had my arctic coat from AK. But this bitch didn’t have a hat or gloves.

Anyway, I thaw and look around the room. Overall, can’t complain. It was dated as fuck, the tile was old, cracked and poorly laid and the floor was so uneven that it was a tripping hazard. I can say that because... I tripped. Oh- and it had a like 1980′s porno jetted tub in it. No joke. It was shaped like a heart.

I loved that tub. I wrote in that tub. I watched Endgame (again) in that tub.

So! I walked to McDonald’s, getting lost once on the way and basically go back to the hotel to become a boiled potato in the jetted tub. It was red, I didn’t have to worry about my hair staining it.

Morning comes and my 6am alarm comes... and goes. Oops. Slept through hotel breakfast and woke up at 9. I proceeded to spend all morning agonizing over the NJTransit system and ZONES (seriously- fuck zones) and eventually after soothing my vanity and getting dolled up, made my way to the bus stop.

I’ll have you know, I did NOT get lost.

$7 in bus fare later and I was on a bus to NYC. For like 3 minutes. Because the driver hit something (someone?) and we all had to get off. And so I stood with the people who looked like they knew what the fuck was going on. Do I get on another bus? Do they send another bus? Do I have to pay again? FUCK IF I KNEW. And poor winter is getting like, live updates of this. Because if I get killed in NJ I wanted someone to know, I guess? lol ANYWAY! The driver yells at the dude, The dude yells at the driver. She yells more. He leaves. She tells us to get back on the bus. And so we did. That was a thing.

Speaking of- why is everyone always honking? And I’ve never been almost hit by so many cars? And everyone acts like the cross walks, street lights and walk signs are all optional? And EVERYONE is honking?! And when they are not honking, they are yelling. Why y’all so angry?

Biiiig city is big. Want to watch Kit shut down fast? Pretty much anyone walking by the port authority bus terminal at like 1pm got to see Kit walk out the doors, look around and find the closest wall to fight panic off at. Because IT’S BIG. AND TALL. AND PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE. I HAVE CROWD ANXIETY.

So I stood there. In the cold. For 15 minutes then said FUCK IT and pulled up Google map’s and to the theater I went. And I found it! Without getting lost. Next up was more McDonald's since I again hadn’t eaten in for fucking ever. Notice something I’m good at? It’s forgetting I’m not a plant and this have to actually eat. But at least in NYC no one is trying to hit me. I haven’t been in a walking city since Anchorage, AK and it was nice to have walkers rule the world.

Charged up my phone and went walking. Got coffee. Walked more. Met up with Winter. Got more coffee. Talked writing. Met up with Nonsensical. And into the theater we went at 6:30.

Remember how I said 2nd row? Yeah no, seats 1-100 on the seating map didn’t actually exist in reality. Front fucking row, center stage. At times, when men were sitting right in front of me, I had to remind myself what parts of them was socially acceptable to stare at.

The play was amazing. And powerful. And funny. And there really isn’t anything I can say that hasn’t been said before.

After the play, we chilled waiting for stage door for 90 minutes. Legit, chilled- it was cold and trying to rain and the three of us got separated. But I got a taste of the star life when I ran into @led-lite who recognized me from here! (Whaaat?!) Check out her art- it’s fucking amazing. And while they didn’t end up doing stage door, it was so cool to just hang out and chat for a good while. Thanks for being a part of my Birthday!

We went back to Winter’s hotel so I could charge my phone up and hang out for a bit. I finally got the pillow case she got for me in London! It’s so cute! It has foxes- I can’t WAIT to show some of my gaming buddies who will just GROAN because I don’t need more fox shit. But it’s going to live in the living room with all my other foxes. And Nonsensical gave me candy canes. She doesn’t know this but candy canes are one of my favorite candies!!

And back to the hotel I went. I didn’t get lost and was only mildly anxious finding my way back to the bus terminal and with the help of a lovely random local that pegged me as a visitor in record time (legit- I didn’t even have TIME to try and figure it out myself!), I figured out what gate my bus was going to load at. It oddly enough works much like airports! Only without the security. Who would have thought?

I didn’t miss my stop but the bus had standing room only. I think I pulled something in my leg because like, I was holding on for dear life as it whipped me around. Everyone else acted like it was normal though so I braved it and tried so very hard not to be thrown into another person. I didn’t miss my stop this time! And I didn’t get lost! Look at me, adjusting!

I passed the fuck out. So hard. I got up at 6, said fuck it, got up at 9 and packed and to the bus stop for the airport I went.

Look at me using local public transport like a boss. And at the airport I discovered that in NJ if you don’t eat before going to the airport and you’re not ready to drop $15-20 on food- they would like you to kindly fuck off and starve. At least once you’ve gone through security.

Annnnd now we’re here. And I’m in Atlanta. And my flight just got delayed. But at least fucking ATLANTA HAS FAST FOOD.

All in all, it’s been a amazing trip. I had a blast and I wish I Had more time. But it was perfect because I got a taste and someday, when I come back (because I totally want to come back) I’ll be much better prepared since it won’t all be new.

also. FUCK NJTRANSIT.

#seriously wtf #what are zones?#Kit in the wild

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notthatitmattersbutyes · 4 years

Text

Loki x Reader fanfic series I’m working on

You weren’t a liar. You weren’t. You just liked to keep your private life private and separate from work. You had a husband and a beautiful little girl at home. Though your husband wasn’t always the nicest, you tried to make it work for Sophie.

You worked at the Avengers tower but, unlike your team mates, you didn’t live there. People would talk. Thinking you were stuck up, like you were too good to live with them. But they were nice enough.

Lately, your husband had been distant. Very distant. And you knew, you could sense what was going on. But you ignored it. Finding comfort in your friends. Friend. Loki. Though he didn’t know what you had going on at home, he was still there to distract you by talking about books, music. What movie you were watching. The only one who knew your whole story was Tony, considering he was your boss. And one day, shit hit the fan, so you called him.

********************************************

It was 4 in the morning. Your daughter, sleeping peacefully in her bedroom. You in your bed, wide awake and alone. When suddenly, you hear banging. Soon the bedroom door swings open, light from the hallway pouring in. Shielding your eyes, you see not only your husband but none other than the babysitter. How cliché.

Both of them drunk, not a bit ashamed. Tears stung your eyes as you rose from the bed.

“What the fuck is this?” You whisper scream, not wanting your daughter to hear.

“Oh, hey there Mrs. McHale.” The 19 year old said drunkenly. You smirked in her direction. “I wasn’t speaking to you, young lady.”

She laughed, embarrassed, and stepped behind your husband.

“Care to explain, David?” You ask him.

“This can’t be of much surprise to you, (y/n). We haven’t slept together in a year!” He was screaming now. Tears began to fall, more out of anger than sadness.

“Yes I know! But who’s fault was that? I didn’t go FUCKING someone else! I was here, every night. Taking care of Sophie, ALONE! Laying in our bed, ALONE!” You push past them both, causing them to stumble a bit. You go into Sophie’s room, expecting to see her out cold. Instead you are staring into her blue eyes, wet from crying.

“Mommy... why is daddy with Amy? Why did he kiss her? And why is everyone yelling?” She sobbed. You went to her and hugged her, trying to calm her down. No 6 year old should have to hear or see what she did today.

“Mommy will explain everything later, right now, we are leaving, ok? Let’s pack some clothes. Grab your favorite things too.” She nodded and you went back into the bedroom. Walking through the now closed door you find David and Amy, naked. In your bed. They didn’t even seem to notice you. You get a suitcase from the closet, loudly packing your things, grabbing your shoes, and heading for the door. Before you exit the room, you flick the lights on, causing them to groan. “Give this to her, David. She seems to like my hand-me-downs.” And you throw your rings at them.

In the car you drive away from the house and toward Avengers tower. You use your Bluetooth to call Tony. It’s 6am on a Sunday at this point. He picks up on the third ring, sounding like you scared him half to death.

“What! What hello yes what’s wrong?”

You smile a bit. “Hey Tony, I’m sorry to call you so early but...” you look back at the sleeping 6 year old. “I need a favor. Do you still have the extra room for me?”

You go on to tell him, through the 30 minute drive, about everything that had happened. Once you arrive, you wake Sophie up. She looks out the window in astonishment.

“Mommy... the avengers live here! Are we going to meet them!?”

Your sweet girl had no idea what you did for a living. You’d wanted to protect her, not have her worry. Now it seems was as good a time as any to introduce her to your world.

“Yes, honey. Superhero’s protect us right? They keep us safe? Help people? Now they are going to help us.”

She nodded, dutifully. You go up the elevator, nerves chewing at your stomach. Instead of Tony, the first face you see is Loki’s. He smiles, a bit confused as to why you were there on a Sunday, let alone at 6:30 in the morning. Then he sees Sophie peek out from behind you.

“(Y/n), who is this? Where did you find her?” He crouched down to meet Sophie’s eyes, reaching out a hand. “Hello, little one. My name is L-“

“I know you, Mr. Loki. I see you on TV, you keep us safe! I’m Sophie, and this is My mommy.” She reaches out and shook his hand. He was absolutely beaming until she introduced you as her mother. You froze as Loki looked up at you, and back to the girl.

“Is that so? Well it’s very nice you meet you, love. You know, I think I saw some muffins on the counter there, you are more than welcome to one. So long as it’s okay with your mother.”

Sophie looked at you expectantly. You nod and she runs toward the kitchen, leaving you alone with the God of Mischief.

“So...” you start, looking at the floor.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, looking hurt.

“I keep my life separated. It helps me cope. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t.” You explain.

He hesitates. Looking like he wants to say something.

“What is it, Loki?”

“Are you married?” He asks, the question shorting out of him, as if he couldn’t control it.

“Not for long. That’s why I’m here.” You say. Trying not to cry.

He looks relieved. You hear Tony approaching, wearing an “I am Iron Man” t shirt and pajama bottoms. It makes you smile. Relax.

“Hey there, momma. I see Reindeer Games has met Sophie. How are you guys doing?” He embraces you and it feels so good to be hugged that you cry. A sob leaving your throat so loud that Sophie comes running out and kicks Tony in the shin. “Hand off my mommy, mister!”

Tony grabs his leg and bends to meet Sophie.

She gasps once she realizes who it is. “I’m so sorry, Iron Man, I thought you were hurting mommy like daddy doe-“ you give her a look and she stops herself. “I thought I was protecting her.” She says silently. Tony ruffles her hair and she smiles a bit.

“It’s alright, champ. We could use a little hero in training. I think you’ve got what it takes.”

Sophie giggles and drags Tony away to see the picture she drew whilst in the kitchen of her as an avenger. Suddenly exhausted, you trudge over time the couch, followed by a worried, and slightly angry, Loki.

“What did she mean, “the way daddy does?” He asks. Damn, you’d hope he didn’t hear that.

“Loki, just drop it, please?” You cover your eyes with your arm and he leans over and he pulls it off.

“Does he hurt you?” He asks sternly.

When you don’t answer, he starts fuming. Not at you, but because he’s so upset with the situation. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, they are right on you.

“I’m going to kill him.” He says.

You shoot up, gripping his arms and panicking.

“No, no you can’t! It’s fine, I’m fine now, right? So we don’t have to do that.” You started crying again. He hugs you, calming you instantly. Tilting your head up, he asks, “Why have you never said anything? Why didn’t you leave sooner?”

You push his hand away, suddenly furious. “And how would that look, huh? An AVENGER! Who can’t leave her abusive, cheating husband? It wasn’t always like that. He was sweet... at first. But once Sophie was born, he started to get upset with me so easily. He was stressed out with work and a kid at home. I get that, so I just explained it away. He hit me and he always apologized. He was always so sweet to Soph so I stayed. I thought that he was cheating but couldn’t find proof.. until last night. So I had a solid reason.”

“He first time he hit you should have been the solid reason!” Loki yelled.

“Why do you even care!?”

“Because we all care about YOU! And you were keeping us in the dark! I- we could have protected you, (y/n).” He had gotten close to you. It looked like he was about to cry but quickly walked away. You were so exhausted that you couldn’t bother to think about the interaction. So you go find Sophie and tell her it’s time to rest, thanking Tony. “No problem, Kid. Rest up and we will talk later.”

#loki x y/n #loki #loki series

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distinguishednachotale · 4 years

Text

The DJ

Previous Chapter

Chapter Three

The white of the hotel room felt brighter as the rising sun hit the walls, drawing the grey curtains cross the sliding balcony door so he could open his eyes without glare blinding him Richard felt instant relief. The days had been long, the nights longer filming the same scene over and over for different angles and accuracy. Shedding his clothes Richard threw them into the bathroom hamper then stepped into the running warm shower. 6am, only just finished filming for the night shoot and sleep was calling, no screaming his name. The natural chemistry between you and Richard showed on the screen, the Director lapped it up. As the days passed he saw you coming back to life on set, but the caution was still evident. Even while you were filming scenes where Richard was not needed, he watched you film purely so he could catch glimpses of the carefree woman you once were reemerging.

There was no after shooting drinks, no public meetings with anyone. But often Richard would hear a light knock at his door and you would come in. The conversation flowed, it didn’t stop, awkward silence never interrupted. The two of you discussed your mutual home country of Scotland, both of you missing the quiet of the country towns. A small trip was planned once filming was over between the two of you, a cabin in the Highlands where no one could find you two. You confided in him about what had happened while filming two years before; someone had told Nate about you having a drink with a co-star, two beating’s followed. One for him, at the hands of a masked assailant who was never caught and one for you at the hand of Nate. It explained why you never caught up with anyone in public.

Stepping out of the shower Richard slid on a pair of boxer shorts and lay down on his bed, uncaring about getting under the soft covers sleep quickly took over. You ran down the hall, your heart racing and breath catching in your throat. Sliding on the carpet you nearly missed room 204 where Richard slept. Frantically you knocked on the door, muttering his name through choked sobs.

The door opened to a sleepy face that woke suddenly as he saw your tear stained face, “He knows Richard, he knows. Please don’t let him find me.” You cry, holding your phone out to him with a shaking hand. Taking your phone Richard stood aside, ushering you in while gazing down the wall to see if anyone was watching your interaction. You too had changed into sleepwear, a pair of black cotton shorts covered the very top of your legs with a baggy white shirt and crew socks covered your small feet. Pacing around the room you couldn’t help but panic and fear everything coming your way, you could feel his anger, his burning hot rage sitting on a plane heading to Croatia where you were filming.

Richard scrolled through the text message exchange, it was short on her end but vocal and colorful on his. Anger, threats and degrading messages were fired her way rapidly. The time stamps showing him they were send one after the other after the other, with no time for a response. “Ev…”

“I don’t know how he knows, but he always finds out. He always does.”

“Hey,” Putting the phone down he stopped your pacing, taking a cigarette out of your hand he cast it to the side. “Love, I’m not going to leave your side. Not for a second.” Gazing up at his eyes you took a brave step forward and pressed your lips against Richards, the kiss quickly became frantic and rushed; opening his eyes Richard realized this was wrong. Every bone in his body felt like he would be taking advantage of you in your state if it were to go any further. Pulling away he muttered, “Ev, I can’t I’m sorry…”

“I’m sorry, I thought…” Spinning around you picked your phone up off the counter top, leaving the room quickly. Walking down the hallway, wiping the hot tears off your face you ignored the desperate Scottish voice calling your name. Finding your room you let yourself in, locking the door behind you and sliding down the door. You felt embarrassed, it felt like Richard had felt that spark you had; but you had misread it. You fool.

Taking your clothes off, you threw them onto your bed then found a pair of blue denim jeans and a sweater to wear instead. Your body had healed over the previous three weeks, the bruises were gone, makeup took half the time as it had previously. You could move freely and, you thought, spend time with Richard safely. Your phone brought you out of your thoughts, sighing you were in half a mind to ignore it however upon seeing Indie’s name you answered.

“Hi Ev, sorry to call you…” Indie’s flight was due to leave in a couple of hours, she was flying ahead of the rest of the cast to the next location. She had been packing up her makeup from the trailer, and had come across your purse at the makeup station. Cursing yourself you knew it meant instead of a quiet tea as planned it meant you had to catch a cab across town.

That is how you found yourself walking up the pathway to the familiar trailer.

”Indie, you here?” Your voice echoed. “Indie, I-”

“You’re really fucking thick you know that.” Your heart froze, his voice was spiteful and angry. Turning around slowly you saw Nate standing there, dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt folded at his elbows covered his lightly tattooed arms while you could see a combination of anger, amusement and fatigue cover his face. His black hair was messy, unkept and pushed back slightly and you could see a few beads of sweat were pooling at his hair line. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

“Nate, please.” As he stepped forward you felt yourself instinctively step back.

“Those non disclosure agreements, do you think they protect you? You fool. Do you know who tells met your every move? Them. The “artists”, as those bitches call themselves. So desperate to work with celebrities they’ll sign any fucking thing I tell them to.” He spits in your face with each word, a hand wraps around your throat menacingly pressing a small teasing amount of pressure against your windpipe before releasing. “They are the ones who tell me, Everly. Them. Every single time he brings you a coffee, every time he checks on you, every time you go to him after filming they tell me.” Stepping away Nate turned to close and lock the trailer door, making sure all the windows were shut he left you to ponder his words. All the friendships you thought you had made over the years with the makeup and hair stylists were false, they were the ones telling Nate your every move for all these years. Dozen of them, you wagered, had told him in exchanged for recommendations on other film sets.

The first blow to your cheek was a surprise, you were so focused on your thoughts you hadn’t seen Nate return. His knuckles connected firmly with your cheek bone, the skin ripped slightly and you felt warm blood drip down. You hit the floor, looking at the maroon carpet you groaned softly. A scream escaped you lips as a boot connected with your stomach, flipping you onto your back curling up to protect your aching abdomen. The underside of his boot stumped on your hands, a crack and scream melted together as you felt the bones on two of your fingers break from the pressure.

“I’m sorry Everly, but you should have known how this would go.” He rained down hard on you, straddling your stomach he pushed your fighting hands down, he never flinched as you scratched and clawed at him, instead he took his own swings. Connecting every time with your face he his harder and harder until you went limp, one hand kept pulling your head up by your brown matted with blood hair. Pulling a fraction harder he pulled a clump of hair from you, throwing the hair to the side he admired his work. His fists were red, your blood staining them.

“You fucking idiot.” Richard cursed himself, sitting on the end of he bed with his head resting in his hands. Fatigue had long left his body, replaced with a wide awake feeling he knew wasn’t going to go away while he felt so guilty. No part of him regret not taking advantage of you, he had dreamed of making love to you for weeks. But not like this, in his dreams you were happy and vibrant. Not sad, and afraid.

Instinctively as soon as your name flashed up on the screen, Richard answered with a quick, “Ev I’m so sorry, I-” You screams filled his ears, standing from the bed Richard tried calling your name, but all he could do was listen as your screams stopped. The unmistakable sound of the beating had Richard hang up, instead pulling clothes and shoes on desperately, and running down the flights of stairs to the foyer. Dialing your number repeatedly there was never an answer.

“Ma’am, please help,” Richard pushed his way to the front of the line at the reception desk. A middle aged woman was shocked by his rude behaviour, but she recognised him as on of their high value customers. “Everly McCarthy, she caught a cab, yes?”

“Yes, about an hour ago.”

“Where to?”

“Sir, I cannot answer-”

“This is fucking urgent, please.”

“Let me check.” The minutes it took for her to return felt like a lifetime, taking his phone out he attempted again to call you. There was no dial tone, straight to voicemail with your sweet voice filling his ears.

“Sir, she mentioned going to ‘the set’. I don’t have an address.” Turning around a younger man spoke with a strong accent. The drive in the cab felt like it took hours, all Richard could do was think about your screams and fear the end result. You had both thought Nate was still flying to Croatia, the thought of him already being there hadn’t crossed your minds. Preparing himself, Richard got the number for the local emergency services ready. The taxi driver was surprised by the large amount of cash thrown his way, and the speed in which Richard ran from the taxi.

The path to the trailers felt ten times longer than normal, they all looked alike bar the one with a door flung open and broken ff the hinges. Nothing but pure anger could have caused that amount of damage. Inside items were thrown around, the makeup stations upturned with glass shattered around the floor. Labored breathing drew Richards attention, he saw you face down attempting to drag yourself up the hallway with one arm while the other was held to your chest. Your face was cast down, not enough energy to lift it, your phone had been thrown toward the dressing room and you were desperate to get to it.

“Everly!” Rushing to your side Richard pressed dial, “Ambulance please.” Helping you turn he was shocked by what he saw, your face was bloodied and swollen, you were hardly staying awake. Through one hardly open eye you could see Richard desperately speaking to someone, your ears were both ringing with no sound getting through to you. Stay awake, Everly, stay awake You screamed to yourself, shock and adrenalin were the only things masking the pain that would otherwise have you screaming if you had the capability to open your broken jaw to do so. Every ounce of energy had been used trying to fight back and trying to get to your phone, nothing was left in the tank to fight the heavy feeling taking over your body.

****

Two more chapters! This is only a short series but I’ll likely continue to write with the same OFC with Richard in other stories.

#richard madden #richard madden x ofc #richard madden fanfiction

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darthspideys · 5 years

Text

easier ~ 2

(Y/N) and Peter Parker don’t talk. There are a million reasons why, (or maybe there’s just one big reason). Both of them are dealing with the aftermath of tony starks death and not healthy ways. In an effort to get back to normal, they both go on the school trip to Europe, only to be thrust right back into the hero world. Someone needs to be the next Iron Man, but are either of them really ready for that?

Chapter 2 : Nothing is happening

“Everybody wants a happy ending. Right? But it doesn’t always roll that way.

Maybe this time.” -Tony Stark

A/N: So I had to put the entire chapter under the cut because tumblr is being a complete butt and wouldn’t let me format my stuff the way I usually so please don’t let that stop you from reading!

(Y/N) didn’t sleep for the next 48 hours. First and foremost, because building the partner device that would allow her to search universes for a Tony copy was taking her way longer than she thought it would. For a project she’d spent weeks designing, it had a lot of hidden flaws that did not show up in the simulations. It seemed that every time she was close to finishing it the entire thing blew up, or started a small fire that caused her to have to stomp it out, breaking the machine. That and the small fires and explosion noises peaked her sister’s attention every single time that the younger Stark went outside to play, which lead to Morgan telling her way into the garage to see what was going on.

Lucky (Y/N) knew how to hide whatever it was she was working on very well. It had started way back when she was old enough to work in the lab unattended. She never wanted her dad to see what she was working on, because she was so embarrassed that whatever it was she made wasn’t good enough, and would never actually work. Funny enough, she was feeling the same way with every prototype that she broke in the silent garage.

“(Y/N) come play with me.” Morgan said from the doorway, just as (Y/N) turned off the work table and kicked her device into the shadows nonchalantly.

“I can’t right now bug.” She said, scooping her sister up and carrying her back outside. “I really have to prep for my trip, okay?”

“How are you doing that in the garage?” Morgan asked, giving (Y/N) the patented ‘I don’t believe you’ look. “I thought momma said that you had to pack your clothes.”

“Uh-” (Y/N) winced, why did her sister have to be so smart? “I put all my clothes in the garage so that I could see them better, I mean there’s much better lightning in there.”

“Oh, okay!” Morgan smiled and (Y/N) let out a breath, momentary crisis averted.

“If I have time, I’ll come out and play with you okay? Maybe we can get in the water later.”

Packing was her next problem. She was nowhere near done, with it. Ever since the day before when Pepper had taken all the clothes out, (Y/N) had been two busy to put all the outfits back together again and then stuff them into the bag again. With a whopping four hours to go before she had to leave the house to get the airport she decided that would be the perfect time to do everything that she needed to get done. It was really the only time she had considering it had taken her so long to make a device that didn’t spontaneously combust.

She thought that everyone in the house was asleep. So when someone pushed open the door to her room, she was surprised to say the least. Pepper walked in and (Y/N) jumped up on her bed in surprise and ripped a hole in her step moms dress while doing so. “Oh, hi.” (Y/N) said, upon realizing that no one was trying to break into her room.

“Good morning to you too.” Pepper replied.

“And here are your car keys.” (Y/N) said, laughing a little as she pried the keys from her hand, it took her a second but she handed them back to Pepper.

“Sorry for scaring you, I thought you would be asleep.” Pepper’s eyes fell to the pile of clothes falling off of Alexas bed. “But I see that you haven’t packed yet and we have to leave in two hours.”

“Two hours? Wait it’s 4am I don’t have to leave until-”

“It’s 6am.”

“When did it become 6am?”

“Well I’m guessing right after 5:59 am.”

“Crap. And I literally haven't slept.”

“What were you up all night doing?”

“Um-” (Y/N) stammered, trying to come up with something that wouldn’t sound suspicious. “Reading, you know once you get hooked on the right book it’ll feel like time isn’t passing at all, and that’s what happened. I read the whole book in one night it was amazing.”

“What book?” Pepper asked her, giving a similar ‘I don’t believe you’ face to the one Morgan had the day before.

“Harry Potter. The last one-” She couldn’t remember the title, “Deathly Hallows. And I was reading it on my kindle-” Which is not anywhere in my room right now, crap. “Then I threw it out of my window because the ending of that book- man it’s a tear jerker, and it makes me prone to violence. Yep.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m worried about you.” Pepper said, suddenly though (Y/N) knew she’d been thinking it for a Yeah, I’m worried about me too.

“You don’t need to be.” She lied, “I’m fine.” Another pause, she knew she had to make the whole thing believable, and that it wasn’t working. Saying ‘I’m fine’ was the equivalent of saying that she threw her Kindle out of the window, on the believable lies. “Okay maybe I’m not fine, but I haven't broken any windows lately or twisted any street signs, which is a major improvement. I am managing.” She said, hoping it would give her a pass. “I’m working on it. Please don’t worry about me.”

“I’m never going to stop worrying about you.”

“Well that’s a bummer.”

An hour and a half later, (Y/N) was completely packed, dressed and ready to take a thirty minute power nap before she had to leave. Only she never got the chance because as soon as she closed her eyes for a second and the next thing she knew Morgan was sitting next to her on the bed.

“Woah, hello there.” She said up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “What are you doing up? It’s like seven in the morning. How many times do I have to tell you to enjoy sleeping in while you still can?”

“I don’t want you to leave.” Morgan said, tears beginning to brim in her eyes. She hugged (Y/N) tightly, “Don’t leave.”

“Hey, love-” She picked her up and put her on her lap. “I’m coming back. I'm gonna miss you too.”

“What if you don’t come back? What if I never see you again? What if you leave like daddy and don’t come back?”

“I’m not leaving forever okay?” (Y/N) smiled, despite the tears brimming in her own eyes. “I will always be here for you no matter what. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Okay.”

“I love you so much, you know that right?”

“I love you too, (Y/N/N).”

Instead of a thirty minute power nap, (Y/N) spent the next thirty minutes watching cartoons with her sister, and growing more and more tired. By the time she got to the airport, she was a sleep deprived zombie. (Y/N) was out on the curb about to walk through the doors when Pepper opened the trunk and said, “Wait! You forgot something.” (Y/N) regarded her suspiciously, walking back over to the car with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure I-oh.” She fell silent at the sight of the trunk. Sitting on a hanger, neatly hung was her suit. The suit her father had made her way back when, before the airport battle, before peter and the ferryboat, before the infinity war, before everything.

I love you so much, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. But I also know that I can’t stop you, so I put a little something together. If you want to be a hero kid, I’m not going to stand in your way.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. Can’t believe I forgot it actually. Thanks.” She tried to quickly wipe the tears out of her eyes, the memories were still too freshmen.

Pepper pulled her into a small hug. “I love you kiddo. Have fun.”

“I’m gonna try my best.”

------

(Y/N) checked in, and ignored the stares from all of her other classmates. It had been three months since they’d all (or most of them) had found out that she was not in fact (Y/N) Stevens and she was (Y/N) Stark. For that she had to think the news media, she’d been shown at one of the memorial events with Pepper one time and they went digging for birth certificates and any scrap of information they could on her. (She’d given exactly one interview and afterwards told pepper she wasn’t doing another one ever). Between that and her mysteriously not coming back to school until the month prior, they had a lot to talk about behind her back. But she’d learned not to care, she didn’t want them to be her friends just because of who she was anyway.

So instead of talking to anyone, she slipped into a nearby chair, put on her sunglasses and was about to take a nap. That was when Ned slid into the chair next to her, in need of information. “What’s going on with you and Peter?”

“Well good morning to you too.” She pulled her sunglasses off her face and put them on her head. She half expected MJ to slide into the chair next to him, to the point where (Y/N) looked around to make sure that the other girl wasn’t lurking behind her but no one was around. (Y/N) sighed a little, things between her and MJ had been rough since the whole Stark reveal which was partly because (Y/N) hadn’t returned any of her messages. “Nice day we’re having?”

“It’s like 10am.” He replied, “It’s basically the afternoon.”

“Statements like that are why this country is broken.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t sleep last night.”

“You try living with a five year old. She doesn’t sleep because she gets nap time. I want nap time.” (Y/N) sighed.

“Back to my question, what’s going on with you and Peter?”

“Nothing. Just like there has been for months now. I don’t talk to him.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“Uh, because-”

“Because what?”

“If I refuse to answer are you just going to sit here?” She asked him.

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

“For however long it takes.” He leaned back into the chair. “Look (Y/N/N), you and Peter are my friends, I mean he's my best friend. And the two of you used to be so close, I mean you used to date-”

“He told you about that? It was for like five minutes.” She asked, sitting up. They’d only dated for a short time and she thought they weren’t ready to tell people, which made it a whole lot easier when they’d decided to end it, or she’d decided to end it. Or did she really? Was it really over between them? Would it ever really be over? (Y/N) shook her head, obviously thinks were over between them her brain was being crazy.

“Of course he did, we’re best friends. And-” Ned paused, “He really liked you, he was so happy about finally being able to be with you. Then everything happened, and he won’t talk about it with me, he changed. So just tell me-what happened? Did it have something to do with your dad?”

“Everything has to do with my dad these days.” She sighed, not really meaning to say it out loud. “Look Ned, I-don’t really want to talk about it. Me and Peter dated, then half the universe, got destroyed, then I became an orphan, and now we’re going to Europe it’s all very complicated.”

“And you can control metal.” He shrugged.

“He told you about that too?” She grumbled, “Jeez I mean who is he going to scoop next, the new york times? God no one is supposed to know about this! It’s a whole thing, I mean if people find out that Tony Stark’s secret daughter had metal powers, they’re probably gonna connect that the vigilante who occasionally fights crime in manhattan with metal powers is that girl.”

“Wait your that mysterious vigilante that sometimes fights crime in manhattan then takes long breaks out of nowhere?”

“Well maybe they won’t then, looks like I just exposed myself a little there. Yeah, I am, but as you can probably tell not very committed to the hero gig. Pretty sweet suit though.”

“Can I see it?”

“If you stop asking me about what happened between me and Peter.”

“No deal.”

“Crap.”

“Look, I won’t tell anyone, about anything you just told me. I mean I’ve known Peter was spiderman for about three years now and i haven’t told anyone so I have a pretty good track record.”

“I won’t go into detail, but uh. A little bit after my dads uh-” She coughed through the words, “My dad funeral. We had a fight, some words were said, that can’t be taken back, can never be taken back, and that’s it. And now we don’t talk. He comes over to my house to play with my sister, and we don’t talk. That’s it.” And about a million other very complicated things you can know nothing about.

“That’s not an acceptable answer.”

“Do you really need details?”

“Not if your willing to just solve the problem on your own.”

“There’s not a problem. We used to be friends and now we’re not, things change and that’s just the way it is.” She shrugged, and pulled her sunglasses back down onto her face.

“(Y/N)-”

“Ned, look-I appreciate that you want to help, I really do. But Peter and me, we’re kinda unfixable. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, but there’s no way I can take back what I said not in a way that’s fair to him.” She looked him in the eyes, sincerely and hoped that he took to heart what she said. As much as she wanted to fix things with Peter, she didn’t know how and she didn’t want to cause him any more pain then she already had. “Also-” She flipped the sunglasses back onto her face for what she hoped would be the final time, “Betty is going to text you to go sit with her in about 3, 2, 1-”

Neds phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to find that Betty had texted him. He looked at (Y/N) in disbelief, showing her the text on his phone, though she knew what was on the screen before he did. “How did you?”

“I’m a Stark, I know things.”

“That explains nothing.”

“Kinda the point.” When he didn’t look like he was going to move, she came up with a new plan. “I’ll talk to Peter okay? We will have a full conversation, I can’t promise it’ll be a big heart to heart but it’ll be something. Now go talk to your girlfriend, I think she’s gonna send you another text, in about 3, 2, 1.” Ned’s phone buzzed again, “Let me guess, it says I miss you.”

“One day I will find out how you do that,”

“Yeah sure.”

Ned smiled and got up to walk over to Betty. (Y/N) made sure that her sunglasses weren’t glowing blue or anything and then leaned back into the chair, ready to use all fifteen minutes she had left to take a nap.

TAGLIST (lmk if you want to be added):

@bands-and-shietz

@yourbiggestspiderfan

@hey-its-grey

@sarahkatexoxo

@saturn-aka-six

@sspider-parker

@tomzfrog

@spideyboyficrecs

@missmulti

@nourdev

@aestheticallymarauderss

@editsbyjenny

@illmissyou3000

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x yn #peter parker x you #peter parker x stark! reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker blurb #peter parker imagine #peter parker requests #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman x you #spiderman x yn #spiderman homecoming #spiderman far from home #stark! reader #easier fic

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monohart · 5 years

Text

stardust. (idol!au)

ft. huang renjun, failure and a secret relationship.

i’m back after a long break, haha. this was an old writing that had been sitting up in my drafts for a while... happy 2019! please spend this year showing more love to renjun. :)

thank you, and enjoy!

when you were cut from the line up for sm’s new group renjun was 100 times more devastated then u were

u were like hey rj cmon don’t worry i’ll be fine??? i’m sure i can audition for another company or smth?? or wait for the next unit debut??

u even jokingly said maybe u could debut in an nct unit but he couldn’t bring himself to smile

and your chest :(( hurt :(( from seeing him so hurt ;;;

ofc for as long as you remember y’all had been talking about both debuting under sm at the same time so y’all could be chasing your dreams and not be too far away from each other

but that plan failed when renjun debuted first with nct dream and had his schedule Packed w nct promotions and concerts and stuff

he and the other nct guys would sometimes let u sit behind the camera in vlives

this one time omg

(( ok so refer to this for a visual :) ))

u sat behind the camera in the chenle jaemin renjun react to baby don’t stop vlive

even though u were hella scared to be kicked out chenle was like HEY DW I’LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE OKAY

so u snuck out of your practice session slightly earlier to watch them

renjun was so excited u were there but obvs he had to keep it together for the live

then!! lolololol rip your manager found out u snuck out of practice and found u in the room and pulled u out of the room

(u kno that moment when they all looked behind the camera and then turned down the music.. yeah issa bc ur crazy manager almoST ruined the mood)

manager scolded u outside the room for a good few minutes and then told u to get yourself together

and u stood outside the room for a bit longer after manager left

and u were literally about to leave but then guess who u ran into!!!

chittaphon knew about u and rj since the day he met u and him both

it was kinda funny really bc u and rj stood rly awkwardly next to each other at this company event a few years ago and y’all were standing around the other dreamies and some other trainees and suddenly renjun’s hand brushed the side of your leg and u glance at him and he smiles at u and u look away smiling

AND chittaphon, who happens to be taking a nice long sip of his soda SEES THIS and spits his soda out

accidentally sprays soda onto jeffery’s back

but yeah thats another story

anyway!!!!

ten sees u sulking outside the door and peers in and sees renjun and hears bds

u know that smile smirk ten does when he knows whats Up™.

yeah he does that and be like

“eyy why don’t u go in???”

then u give him a breakdown of what happened with skipping practice and being caught by the manager

and hes like :o

but chittaphon is chittaphon so he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back into the practice room and hides you in a corner just out of view

and then he sneaks onto them!!

then jaemin... quick-eyed, lovely doe-eyed jaemin... sees u hiding and nudges renjun ever so slightly

he sees u and before he gets flustered ten’s all over him asking how the mv was and flustered rj tries to keep his cool while showering chittaphon w compliments

and u know how ten looks at him like That :^)

and jaemin keeps peeking over their shoulders

yeah :))

OK I SPENT TOO LONG DESCRIBING THIS

but anyway, on that night u were cut from the line up

after the news got to him he sits down and was just like

because he knew how much debuting meant to u and

and... YOUR DREAMS TO BE TOGETHER :(( debuting together and always being close to each other

and u mentioned before that if u dont debut in the next five years u prolly would quit the entertainment industry

maybe go back to school and study some or idk work in a less chaotic industry

in that moment he remembered what u said and was a little heartbroken too

he tried to find you in your usual practice room but u weren’t there and he shouldn’t be loitering around so he gave up and let you have some space

bet u he sulked all the way home

you had travelled back to your dorm because u needed some time alone oof

it took u a good few hours to deal with the news and when u were ready to talk about it again, it was like 3am but u still gave his mobile a call

he picked up on the second ring and said to meet him outside your dorm in a few mins and y’all can go take a walk or smth for some fresh air

so u guys go to the park for a nice quiet walk in the dead of night hhh

u had so many things to say but mostly u were worried with your relationship w him and how y’all were supposed to balance that out given his priorities with nct and you as... just a trainee...

u didnt have to explain anything or other bc he suddenly goes

“what if we went public with our relationship?”

u look up at his face that was hidden behind a mask and his glasses

u deadass thought he was kidding but his that look in his eyes were like hella serious

“just think about it for a second. maybe we don’t have to bring it to the fans, but at least let the company know”

and u were like no way they’ll just do anything to keep yall apart

he didnt answer after that and not too long later yall started heading back to your dorm

it was almost 5am and the streets were still dark and renjun had an arm around your waist and you leant against him and yall walked slowly bc honestly u guys haven’t slept a wink and its been a Really Long day

your dorm was a street away from his

actually he stops about a street or two away from your dorm bc another idol group also lived in the same building as u and there were always sasaengs and people w cameras outside your dorm

u were a trainee so it didnt bother u but renjun was renjun :,)

plus he actually wanted sum privacy so he could kiss u.. so...

hsaksdnd

there was a narrow alley just around the back of the apartment block next to yours

u would never go there alone kasdnj it was scary at any time of the day

tbh

u wouldn’t go even if someone was there with u

maybe it was the heat of the moment or u were just so down that day

it didn’t rly bother u when renjun gently backed u up against the wall and hugged u n took off his mask n buried his face in the crook of ur neck

and that immediately put a smile on your face ur like baby wyd its 5am

hes looks at u like :(( and says “i miss u” in a quiet quiet voice & in his mother tongue

u knew what it meant and hearing him say it in chinese made you uwu to mars

then he showers u with like tiny tiny butterfly kisses and he wraps his arms around u to make u feel safe and warm

which u do!!

he holds u up too when ur knees buckle a bit but then just continues kissing u hehehe

its all sweet and innocent but his kisses last just a tiny bit longer each time, as if hes scared that you’d run away

after he finishes kissing u he meets your eyes and u literally watch his orbs go all soft and he hides his face in your neck again while u mutter about how much of a big baby he is

the goodnight was!!!

the hardest thing y’all had to do omg

he literally didnt want to let u go

and when he did and when u started walking toward ur building u kept looking back, wanting him to head off but he didnt and stood there waiting for u to go in

and u didnt want to go in without knowing he was on his way home and was safe on the walk back wdf it was almost 6am

then when u were almost at the door u saw he hadn’t moved an inch

so u run back to him

he was still standing at the spot where y’all parted - which was a few streets down and out of sight

he scolds u for running back out but he smiles when doing so and u snap his mask back onto his face and kisses him over the mask like 200 times and u couldnt see but hes like dying from the giggles

anyway eventually y’all go home :,) it just took forever :,)

the next day u head to the building in the afternoon to catch up on some sleep

u were a bit guilty to find out renjun went back to work at 7am which meant he practically didnt get any sleep

y’all brush shoulders in the cafeteria but he was walking w hyuck and his manager so u couldn’t stop and chat

tho u couldn’t help but notice his manager steal a glance at u when u walked by and he had this really weird smile on his lips

made u go like huh.,, maybe he recognises me from the many Brief encounters yall had before

anyway u were doing some vocal and keyboard practice later in the afternoon when the door to the private training suite opened and two loud boys stumbled in

made u rly surprised bc u never expected it to be them??

it was taeyong and winwin??

they were both looking at u like :))) as if they did something great :))

taeyong introduces himself formally but you’re like ,, um u know we’ve met before at this function and hes like OH,,, sorry

anyway they were there to tell u how renjun couldn’t shut up about u since he went back to the dorm last night and now all of nct knows about everything to know about u and him (if they hadn’t already)

you’re just like .,, oof what embarrassing stuff did he say

they’re like NO ALL NICE STUFF,, a bit cringey at times

but !! nct wanted to help u

so earlier today

johnny and jaehyun spoke to their managers and night night producers and asked if they could hire a third radio dj - yknow someone who also speaks english and is really nice and entertaining and funny and cool like u are!!

that idea is now In The Talks

winwin brought up a variety thing china line and their managers had been thinking about for a while and also asked if they could consider u

nct managers be like ok so who actually is this trainee and why are all 18 boys obsessively asking to include her in nct activities

later that day when u see renjun again he was just heading off but he came around your practice room to see u before he left

thankfully u were the only one left at practice as the others were away busy preparing for their debut or smth :,)

u didnt hear him come in bc u were sitting in the middle of the room on the floor scrolling replying to week old texts oop hehe

renjun sneaks up behind u and hugs u from behind and kisses your cheek

he got a bit scared when u didn’t respond as explosively as he thought... for a second he thought he got the wrong person poor bean he was so nervous hhh

you chuck your phone aside and tackle him and he falls onto his back and yall kinda lay there on the ground for a bit

and you told him about taeyong and winwin visiting u and he just smiles

“you inspire me.”

“me? inspire you? you’re huang freakin’ renjun, and i, of all people, inspire you?”

“yeah”

“don’t understand u sometimes”

he turns his head to look at u and u turn to look at him and he kinda just admires you for a while then reach over and touches your cheek

it wasnt even a sweet caress or anything he literally just

touched

your cheek

“renjun what the heck”

then he laughs and u laugh and u snuggle against him and for the first time that week both of u feel completely at ease bc even though the dream u guys shared at the beginning was completely shattered,

y’all would still find a way around it

and knowing so many people around u still supported u guys meant so much

especially to renjun bc u were his everything and he’d do anything for u

and i mean it!!!

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paganinpurple · 5 years

Text

Clowder - Ch 6

Buy Me A Coffee?

It Was You (comes before this fic)

Read on AO3 or FF.net <<Ch 1 <Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7>

Early Morning Conversations

Adrien awoke that morning to his name being called as someone shook him gently. “Huh?” he mumbled as his eyes opened, searching around until they landed upon the figure of Sabine reaching over to stir him. Instinctively he panicked for a moment at being found unmasked until his memories caught up to his sleep-deprived brain and he relaxed back against the mattress again.

She smiled sweetly, keeping her voice low to avoid waking her daughter as well as the tired boy currently yawning. “It’s 6am dear; you should get back home before someone comes looking for you.” She leaned back once she could see that he was awake, and he let out another loud yawn as he tried desperately to keep from dozing off again. “Try not to wake Marinette up when you untangle her,” Sabine said, “She’ll only get grumpy with you.”

He glanced round to see what she meant to find Marinette wrapped around him, her hands clenched together beneath his arms but over his chest, and one leg slung across his hip beneath the covers. His heart warmed. As much as he liked to cuddle into Marinette while they slept, he absolutely adored being the little spoon as she clung to his back like a fleshy jetpack.

“How did you know I was here?” Adrien whispered as he carefully tried to disengage his girlfriend from himself.

Sabine reached her arm out towards the bed, two sleeping kwamis nestled in her cupped hand. “I found them like this in the kitchen. I’m assuming this is Plagg?”

He watched her place them delicately on the bedside table, Tikki rousing as she did so and peeking open one eye at them. “Yeah,” Adrien said, “he’s my kwami, like Tikki is Marinette’s.”

“Tell him I’m sorry I couldn’t stay to say hello, but I need to get back to the bakery and open up,” Sabine told him with a wave, before finally disappearing down the ladder.

He waited until he heard the trapdoor to the room close behind her before he completely extracted himself from Marinette, very self-consciously aware that he was clad in only his boxer shorts. He dressed much quicker than he had ever managed before, and it was as he was reaching down to tie his shoe laces that he felt petite arms snake their way around his waist.

“Stay,” came a sluggish voice from his lower back where he could feel a cheek pressing against the thin material of his t-shirt.

He chuckled and removed her hands, turning to help her lie back on the bed again as she began to slump in place. “I can’t,” he said, placing a soft kiss to her forehead, “Father would freak out and call the entire police force if he realised that I’ve been gone all night.” She grumbled slightly in response and he laughed again. “I wish I could though. See you at school ‘Nette.”

Scooping up Plagg from where he was yawning next to a giggling Tikki, he made his way up to her balcony before transforming and darting home.

***

He made it back in record time, quickly stripping off his old clothes like they were diseased and pulling on fresh ones as soon as his transformation dropped. Plagg remained oddly quiet as he opted not to complain about having his sleep disturbed, in favour of immediately curling up and dozing on the pillow instead.

Just as Adrien had finished scooping him into his pocket, his door opened, and Nathalie walked in without so much as a knock.

“Nathalie!” he yelped, grateful she hadn’t caught him sneaking back in full costume, “I could have been changing!”

He watched as she let out a deep breath and placed a hand against her chest for a moment before returning to her usual icy demeanour. “I see you’re home.”

He gulped. Ohshitohshitohshit, he thought.

“Adrien, it’s one thing for me to keep it to myself that you go out without permission in the evenings - and all day some weekends,” she began, her face a mask of indifference, “but when you’re gone during the night like this, anything could happen, and it could be considered neglectful of me not to mention it to your father.”

Dread settled in Adrien’s chest like a sliver of ice stabbing him in the heart. “You’re not going to tell him, are you?” he begged, eyes wide and panicked.

Nathalie simply stared at him for a moment, coolly. “No,” she finally said, “but no more all-night adventures. You’re back by midnight from now on. And-” -she lifted her chin at him with an air of authority- “you tell your father you have a girlfriend. I’m assuming it’s a girl you’re dating.”

“What!?” He saw no future where his father finding out he was dating Marinette would go well. It was part of the reason that they’d decided just the other night that they probably shouldn’t hang out at his house too much; they couldn’t let anyone realise she had been in his room before. “I mean, yes she’s a girl, but Nathalie, I can’t-”

“This morning is perfect timing. I’m about to present him with some good news and I’ve been planting some seeds for a while now that the press might find it odd that you haven’t shown any interest in anyone your own age.”

Adrien crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. “I’m fifteen,” he said with annoyance evident in his tone, “not everyone dates at fifteen.”

“True,” she said, “but whether or not the press will care is beside the point. Only that your father thinks they do.”

Grinning widely, Adrien relaxed slightly, his gaze grateful. “Nathalie, you’re a genius.”

“Perhaps,” she said, a slight smirk appearing at the corner of her mouth, “Now, are you two at least using the protection I left in your bathroom?”

“Nathalie!”

***

It was seven o’clock when Adrien entered the dining room for breakfast. He carefully disguised his surprise upon seeing his father sitting at the table waiting for him, Nathalie standing next to him, waiting for a response of some kind. Taking his usual seat, he began to eat slowly, watching from the corner of his eye for any sign that they had noticed his presence yet.

Gabriel appeared far too wrapped up in reading something on the tablet in his left hand, moving his food around with his fork in the right but never quite allowing anything he lifted to reach his mouth. The smile that appeared on his face began so subtly that Adrien barely noticed it, but soon it transformed his entire face. It wasn’t exactly a warm smile -more of a sneer- but it still showed that whatever he was reading had pleased him greatly.

He turned to Nathalie who was still standing next to him, her hands clasped politely in front of her. “Are there any other articles like this?” he asked.

“Not yet,” she answered, “so far it’s exclusive to this publication but I’m sure everyone will have it online within the hour.”

“Excellent,” he said, handing her the tablet and returning to his food, beginning to eat with a gusto Adrien hadn’t seen in his father since his mother had disappeared. He looked up at Nathalie in shock and noticed she was smiling as well, although she was looking directly at him instead of his father while she did so. She inclined her head towards Gabriel the tiniest amount and her eyes flashed; something he took to be his hint that now was the time to bring up the topic of his girlfriend. It was clear whatever she had shown him had lifted his mood much higher than his usual brand of tolerance. Taking a deep breath, Adrien opened his mouth-

“Oh Adrien,” his father began suddenly, and all the air rushed out of the boy like a deflated balloon, “it has been brought to my attention that you should be…interacting more with girls of the same age bracket as yourself. As this morning has just demonstrated to me, the press can be very unkind regarding a person’s love life -or lack thereof- and I think it’s time you started dating.”

Adrien was thrown completely off guard. He’d considered the lead into this conversation to be difficult and awkward, and yet his father had been the one to bring it up. Pushing down the anxieties in his chest he prepared to speak as soon as he was permitted a chance.

“Therefore, I am going to set up a gala in the next few weeks. All of Paris’ influential elite will be attending, of course, and I am going to encourage them all to bring their children –of around a certain age– to give you an opportunity to meet some of their daughters.”

For the second time that morning Adrien felt a cold spike of fear in his chest and he glanced at Nathalie helplessly. She too, looked surprised and horrified. Unfortunately, she also seemed unsure on how to proceed. His father was still talking about who would be invited and how some of the guests and their daughters would be invited purely for appearances sake, so he was to ensure to memorise who he was not to become involved with and…and Gabriel just kept talking.

Panicked, Adrien was about to interrupt, a sure sign of failure ahead, but he had no idea what he could do otherwise. Before he could seal his own fate, however, Nathalie finally rediscovered her voice and loudly cleared her throat. Gabriel was effectively silenced as she began. “Sir, there is always a chance that Adrien already has a young lady in mind and that it would be counter-productive to arrange an expensive gala if there is someone else who he would rather attend it with.”

Gabriel looked up at her in momentary disbelief before a look of understanding passed across his features. Slowly, he turned to face his son. “Adrien,” he said, his expression undecipherable, “Is there anything you need to tell me?”

***

A dark head appeared over the covers, face scrunched up as she patted around blindly for the phone that continued to ring and buzz disturbing her rest. Finally finding the wretched thing, she squinted at the screen. And groaned.

“Alya,” she said once she had slid her thumb across the screen to answer and jammed the receiver to her ear, “It’s not even eight yet. I could’ve had another fifteen minutes in bed.”

“Sorry, but this is important,” Alya said hurriedly from her end, “I take it you haven’t seen the news yet?”

She frowned into her pillow, why would she care about the news right now? Her superhero brain seemed to catch up to her sleepy brain and she shot upright in bed. “Is it an akuma?” she asked abruptly.

“No, no nothing like that. But it does involve Chat. And…” There was an awkward pause on the other end. “And you I guess.”

Buy Me A Coffee?

#PIP writes #miraculous ladybug #ML fic #Clowder #Love Square #It Was You Sequel

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jerseygirl1290 · 6 years

Text

Best Friends

Seven months. Seven months of my life I had devoted to this man and trying to make our long distance relationship work. Seven months of only getting to see each other once a week if we were lucky. Seven months of making the hour long trip just to get the opportunity to spend just a couple of hours with him. And then it was gone. Ended with a simple text message that broke my heart into pieces.

It was shortly after that heartbreaking conversation that I called my best friend. He wasn’t anywhere close, but hearing his voice would make me feel so much better. I picked up the phone and dialed his number.

“Hey love! How’s it goin’?!” The Irishman spoke through the phone.

“Hey Finn. I’m not doing so well. We just broke up and I didn’t know what else to do or who else to talk to.” I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

“I’m sorry, dear. What happened? Talk to me. Let it all out. I can tell by your voice that you just wanna cry. You know you don’t have to hide it from me.” He responded.

I went into detail about how we had been fighting a lot recently and how every time an opportunity to see each other came up, plans were always changed at the last minute, and then finally about the series of text messages that had torn my heart out. By the time I was done, I was a sobbing mess that could barely be understood.

“Hey love, it’s ok. If he can’t see how truly amazin’ you are, then he doesn’t deserve you at all. You deserve someone who loves you properly and is going to treat you with the respect you deserve and not make excuses to not see you.” Finn’s said, anger in his voice.

Finn and I had been friends for twenty something years. Ever since we were little kids. He had always played the big brother role. He was always the protective one. He had even beat the hell out of my high school boyfriend when he cheated on me. Even after he moved to Japan to follow his wrestling dreams and then made it big in WWE, I could always call him. He had even taken me with him to a couple of WWE events and I got to meet some of the superstars that he worked with.

“I don’t want anyone else, Finn. I want him!” I sighed into the phone

“I know, love, but that’s not in the cards right now.”

“Why does love have to suck?” I asked

“It doesn’t suck. You just haven’t found the right person yet is all. You’ll get there, love. You just have to be strong and have faith.”

“I know. It’s just really hard to right now. But I don’t want to take you away from what you were doing. It’s late for both of us, and I’m sure you probably have to be up early in the morning to get ready for the show tomorrow night. I’m going to try and get some sleep, or cry my eyes out. One of the two. Goodnight, Finn.” I answered

“Love, you know you can call me any time and I will drop what I’m doing to talk to you. That’s what friends do. Please try to get some rest. I will call you in the morning. Goodnight.” And with that, we hung up the phone.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I kept waking up and falling back to sleep. I finally fell into a decent sleep about 4am, only to be woken up by my phone buzzing at 6am. I rolled over and looked at my phone. It was a message from Finn.

“Hey, love! What are you doing today?” it read

“I was going to lay around my house and watch chick flicks and drown my sorrows in ice cream all day. Why?”

“Get up, take a shower, pack your clothes and get to the airport. I’m booking you a flight down here to Miami today. The next flight down here is out of Atlanta and it departs at 11.”

“Finn, no. I’m not flying down there today. You are crazy.”

“Look, love. You need me. I’m here for you. You need a break. I’m providing that for you. Just come down here and hang out with me, Karl, and Luke and have fun at the show tonight. Besides, I haven’t seen my best friend in ages, and I kind of miss her too.”

“Ugh! Fine. You drive a hard bargain, Balor. Go ahead and book it. I’ll get ready and go.”

“Great! Make sure you text me when you’re getting ready to leave and when you land. The guys and I will meet you at the airport when you arrive.”

“I’ll see you soon then.” I responded

It took everything in me to get up and do as Finn asked of me. I wanted to stay home, in my pajamas and not do anything except for drown my sorrows in ice cream while crying and watching chick flicks, but Finn was right. I did need my best friend, and a break. I hadn’t seen him in so long, except for on TV when I watched Raw every Monday night, and it would be nice to see Luke and Karl again. We were all friends, but I wasn’t close with them like I was with Finn.

I made it to the airport and checked in. I texted Finn when I got to the gate to let him know that I had made it. When I didn’t receive a text back before I boarded the plane, I sent him another message letting him know that I had boarded the plane and would arrive in Miami in a few hours. It was a two hour flight, and I think I slept the whole way due to lack of sleep the night before. I was woken up by a flight attendant after the plane had landed. After gathering my things and departing the plane, I turned my phone on to send Finn a text letting him know I had landed, but about the time I hit the send button, someone ran up to me and wrapped me in a bear hug and spun me around. After they sat me down and I got my bearings I looked up to see the 6 foot 8, 290lb frame of Luke Gallows standing over me with a grin on his face.

“Luke! What the hell?! You scared me!” I said as I slapped him across the chest. My five foot nothing, 105lb frame did nothing to hurt him though. He just laughed and draped his arm across my shoulders.

“Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to scare ya. I just wanted to have some fun.” He said

“Where’s Finn and Karl?” I asked

“They’re in the front with the car. Finn wanted to come back and wait on you, but I told him I’d do it because I knew you wouldn’t be expecting me.”

“No. You’re right. I wasn’t.” I said as we started walking towards the front of the airport. We chit chatted a little bit, as we made our way out to the car. Once we got outside we found Finn and Karl waiting up against the car. Luke put my bags in the trunk while I hugged Karl hello and Finn picked me up into the biggest bear hug I think he had ever given me. Once he put me back on my feet, he pulled me close to his chest and held me there for a long time. It took everything I had not to break down in tears right then. I think he could sense that. He could always sense when there was something wrong, no matter how much I tried to deny it. It was like this weird thing he had going on.

“It’s ok, love. I’m here now. You can tell me all about it later on, but right now I just want you to relax, and we’ll go back to the hotel to drop your stuff off and go have lunch before heading to the venue. How does that sound?” he said as he looked down at me.

“That sounds amazing.” I said, trying to keep my composure.

Karl drove back to the hotel, with Luke in the front seat and Finn and me in the back. The four of us talked the whole way there, catching up on what was going on in our lives. I told the other guys about my breakup.

“That’s no good. I’m sorry.” Karl responded. “It sounds like that guy’s a…. What’s the word I’m looking for?” he said as he looked at Luke

“NERD!” Luke responded.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“But no, in all seriousness, that is a shitty situation. I’m sorry you’re going through that” Luke said.

“Such is life I guess.” I said as we pulled up to the hotel. Finn, being the gentleman that he has always been, carried my bags upstairs to his room.

“There’s only one bed in here. I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting company. I can sleep in the chair, if that would make you more comfortable.” He said as he opened the door.

“Finn, we’ve been friends for over twenty years. I’m pretty sure we can share a bed.” I responded.

“I just figured I would give you the option.” He said

“Always the gentleman.” I responded as Finn sat my stuff down.

After dropping my bags off at the hotel, the four of us had lunch at a small restaurant and then headed to the venue so the guys could help set up and get ready for their match that evening. I pretty much just hung out in Finn’s dressing room, because I didn’t really want to be around anyone. The few other superstars that knew I was there that I was kinda sorta friends with, such as Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, stopped in to say hello and catch up a little bit. Dean hung out for a while since he was the only one who didn’t have a match. It was nice hanging out with him, because he always knew how to cheer me up when he didn’t even know there was something wrong. After Finn, Luke and Karl’s match was done, they packed up their gear and we all headed back to the hotel. We said our goodnights and parted ways. Finn and I going to his room, and Luke, and Karl going to their room. As soon as we stepped through the door to Finn’s room, he put his stuff down and sat down on the bed.

“Come here, love.” He said as he held his arms open for me. I went over and sat down next to him, but he picked me up and put me on his lap, while wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. That’s all it took for the dam to break and the tears to start flowing,

“Ssshhh… It’s ok, love. Let it all out. I’m here. I got ya. I’m not gonna let anything happen to ya.” He soothed as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“How could I be so stupid, Finn? I mean, all the signs were there. It was hard right from the beginning. How did I let myself get to this point? I should have known better. I feel so stupid!” I responded.

“You’re not stupid. You couldn’t have stopped this, even if you wanted to. It’s going to be ok. You’re going to move on and find someone who is much better for you.” Finn responded.

“But I don’t want anyone else. I want him. And I feel so stupid for wanting him, even after he did what he did.”

“You’re not stupid.” He repeated. “The only thing I can tell you, is that he’s the stupid one. He’s the one who’s missing out. You’re an amazing woman, strong, smart, funny, and independent. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend.”

“No. I’m saying that because I truly love you. With all of my heart. I have since we were little kids. It breaks my heart to see you like this. I want you to be happy, whether it’s with me, or someone else. You deserve that.”

“Wait… What did you just say?”

“I said I truly love you and I want you to be happy.”

“No,,, The other part…” I said as I looked up at him

“If you are with me or not I want you to be happy because I love you and I care about you.” He answered

“I love you and care about you too, Finn.” I responded.”

“Yes, but probably not in the way I…” he said, but was quiet when I put one finger up to his mouth. After I dropped my finger, he sat there, looking at me for a minute before I felt him reach under my chin to tilt my head up. I looked into his blue/green eyes. It only took a second for his lips to find mine. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, I didn’t know what to say.

“I-I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re going through so much right now and to put that on you… I’m sorry.” He said, quickly

“Finn. There’s no need to apologize.” I answered, as I pulled him back down to kiss me again.

“Wow. That was definitely worth the wait. Now c’mon, love. Let’s get you some sleep.” Finn said.

We laid down in bed. Him on one side of the bed and me on the other. Before I knew it, though, I felt two arms slide around me and pull me back into his chest. And as I fell to sleep, I felt him kiss the back of my head, I knew everything was going to be alright since I had my best friend there by my side.

#finn #finn balor #balor #balor club #wwe #fanfic

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panticwritten · 6 years

Text

10 Questions from Breakeven2007

Haha, thanks for the tag @breakeven2007, I’m always a slut for answering questions.

Since I forgot to put the rules on the post last time I got tagged, I’ll go ahead and do that this time. Basically, if you’re tagged, you answer the questions your tagger left at the bottom of the post, then you tag some other folks and leave your own questions at the bottom for the next people to answer!

I’ll do this under the break again.

1. What OC makes you want to tear your hair out and why?

Okay, when it come to writing a character, like getting the writing down when I’m writing them, it would probably be Jay. They spend so much time locked away in their lab that they talk to their androids more than they even see other people. They have shaky morals and I always want to write them as being better than they are.

With the way characters act and general ‘what are you doing?’ tearing my hair out, I’d say it’s Sawyer. Because most of my writing is daydreams and I’m writing the things that happened in my daydream, I write with the knowledge of how much those decisions fucked me over. Sometimes I wish I could go back and whisper in my past-self’s ear saying “NO!”

Retrospect is 20/20 and I hate it.

2. Do you like going back and reading old writing or looking at old drawings? Why or why not?

Oh my god, yes. To a point. I love reading 2014-onward writing. Before that, there are things I should just let die. I have a completed Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/”Gory Demise” by Creature Feature fanfic in the depths of my DA, for Christ’s sake.

The worst part is, on my particularly nostalgic days, I have thought about rewriting that ;^;

But I like looking back and seeing how far I’ve come in my writing. I like seeing how different projects change the way that I write. If I read my god-awful writing for 2010, I can actually start to believe it when people tell me my writing is good. Because no matter how many flaws it might have, It’s better than it was. That’s all that matters in the end.

3. Have you ever had a daydream so long and extensive you actually have to catch yourself before writing all that shit down because it was good.

HA yes.

I’d like to say that all of my daydreams that I end up writing are like that, but I know that isn’t true. I waited about a month before I started writing Breaking Furnace, and it took one of my friends asking questions about what in my daydreams was bothering to get me to write Sequence of Regrettable Happenings. I started writing Trollhunter’s: Subverted a few says after the daydream started, but I wish I’d started sooner. So many little details were lost from the first couple days.

The daydream sequence that brought Journey to the Center of Our Mind around is what I’m thinking of for this one. So much just started happening at once and I started writing it as soon as I could tear myself away from the actual daydream.’

On a vaguely related note, the beginning plot for Savior Destroy came out of an actual dream, and so did Damien, one of the paras/characters I have.

4. What is the hardest genre for you to write?

I’m not sure if this actually counts as a genre, but the hardest thing for me to write is physical fights. I’ve never experienced an actual fight, and I have a hard time balancing pacing, action, emotion, all of that stuff.

5. How often do you pull all-nighters (if you do)?

I don’t really pull all-nighters, but I come close a lot. I normally go into staying up past 2am expecting to stay up the whole night because I used to all the time. I never do, though, because I get tired and can’t function. I’m already so tired all the time, I have a hard time when I reach the middle point between normal levels and the I’ve-been-awake-for-36-hours-I’ve -never-felt-so-alive high. I miss the manic feeling of staying up the whole night, but it’s probably not a bad thing that I can’t seem to get there anymore.

I normally just end up making bad decisions lmAO

6. Is your writing better with or without sufficient sleep?

Without. I do good writing between like 8pm and 6am which is why I try to stay up so often, even if I know I’ll fail.

7. Do you have a favorite fandom? If so, why?

Favorite fandom, not really. If I stay on the very surface of fandoms, they’re fine but most of the time if I go any deeper I just end up getting uncomfortable so I tend to not delve. I probably like what I’ve seen of the Dragon Age fandom the most, though. Particularly DA2 because I will fight on my stance that DA2 is the best game in the series.

I just like things. I like the things and I especially like it when I watch/read/listen to things without my brain deciding to give me another 500,000 page-worth daydream to obsess over. Can I just be a casual fan for once in my goddamn life please.

8. What book would you recommend to anyone who asked, regardless of personal taste? (Doesn’t have to be your favorite.)

The Belgariad and The Mallorean. It’s actually two five-book series, but they are everything to me. It’s a fantasy series by David Eddings (and his wife, Leigh Eddings, though she wasn’t credited until much later), and it’s a wonderful coming of age story.

The Belgariad is really focused, most of the characters (except for the protag of course) know roughly what they need to do and who the bad guys are and where they need to go.

The Mallorean delves a lot deeper into the particulars of war. That even the ‘bad guys’ aren’t necessarily evil or irredeemable. There’s a lot more confusion, mystery, and the unknown plays a big part in how the story plays out and the decisions the characters make.

They’re Good Books.

9. Is there an author that you can’t stand? And conversely, one that’s on your auto-read list? Why?

I think I’ve answered a question similar to this on this blog. I haven’t really found an author that I hate, partially because if I start a book and can’t get through it I tend to forget that it and its author exists. Mostly, though, it’s because of how writing grows and a writer can do terrible work in one genre and be great in another. For example, I don’t really like most of James Patterson’s work because the way he writes crime fiction is a little too much for me. I love his YA modern fantasy/science fiction writing, though! Maximum Ride and (okay god I can’t remember what the series was called, like ‘W’ or something, it’s about witches) were genuinely enjoyable, even if they have some big continuation and plot issues that come along with the past pace at which authors like JP write.

I’d say that I want to read every piece of writing that Daniel Handler has ever created as Lemony Snicket. The voice in his work is SO GOOD and fun to read. I’ve been reading TSOUE to my sister and I’m noticing more and more that went completely over my head when I first read it in middle school. Some jokes that are more relatable now that I’m older, and I fully appreciate how terrifying Count Olaf is as a villain. I’m also in the process of reading ATWQ, which takes place in the childhood of Lemony and his first mission as an apprentice in the VFD.

10. If you were a published author, would you support fanfiction of your work? (This is tumblr so I kinda assume so, but some people wouldn’t want someone to “mangle” their work, if you will.) Would you support complete crack ships or ships that you didn’t agree with canonically?

This is kind of a double edged sword, to be completely honest. Since, even in the works I could publish, the main character is a version of myself from my daydreams, fanfiction could be a little weird for me to read.

But, like, fanfiction?? And fanart????? Of something I wrote?? That would be awesome. It would be cool to see how people see my characters, even if they completely fuck up the actual characterization. There is only one noncanon ship that I wouldn’t just say ‘oh, okay, not what I had in mind but fine.’ I wouldn’t ask people not to write it because you know write what you want, but Sawyer and Dominic is something that doesn’t sit well with me.

And that’s a wrap!

I’ll go ahead and tag @cadewrites @itstheenglishkid and @alextriestowritestuff

Okay, here are my questions for you!

1. Do you have any pets? How about your OCs?

2. How do you beat writer’s block?

3. Where do you draw most of your inspiration from?

4. How do you and your OCs feel about pineapple on pizza?

5. If you had to choose a fictional universe to live in, which one would it be?

6. Would you get along with your OCs if you met them in person?

7. Which of your OCs would burn a house down or overreact in a similar way if they even thought they saw a spider?

8. What’s your favorite time of day to write?

9. Have you ever written an AU of your own work?

10. Have you ever written a scene so emotionally charged that it hurt you upon rereading it?

A fun story relating vaguely to question 7. Once, I was drawing during the summer with the window open. A dragonfly zoomed in as I was about to close the window and go to sleep, so I abandoned my room in terror, screaming, and slept in the living room instead.

I’m not even scared of dragonflies?? They just don’t belong in my room.

#tag game #questions #this was fun #story time

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