#it goes out the window once he actually gets the kid so it doesnt matter adjk;
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homestuck reread #13 act 6 p4
still in these conversations where the kids reveal their true feelings about each other except not TO each other but to someone else. this dirk one is so true though roxy has been the goat of their session and the one fucking thing holding them all together. god i love roxy
wow so cool they all ascended at the same time! surely nothing bad will happen immediately after
theyre finally arriving. holy shit . theyre COMING THROUGH THE WINDOW. JOHN AND JADE
yeah ok so jade showed up and her and jane immediately got turned evil
DAVE AND KARKAT HIIII
this is a CLASSIC dave/karkat mess around. if you know, you KNOW . shit had me ROFLing.
holy davesprite . i havent seen this mf since like RIGHT AFTER cascade. literally its been eons
TRUEE i think its a strider lalonde thing they looove to go on and on about random bullshit
hey its these bozos what up yall
waitt theyre being friendly to each other? breath players CAN get along!!! this is huge news. especially for me.
this actually would be a hard ass shirt fr i need that shit
this is the reaction i get when i bring up minestuck to my friends... and im like guys please its actually fun i promise... .(im lying)
yo its the fan trolls what uppppp
okay nice meeting you
this is all very silly :D
OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WHY DO YOUHAVE EYES.... WHAT THE FUCK I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT I ACTUALLY HATE IT GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
YES!!!!!!!! OKAYYYY TAVROS!!! stand up for yourself girl you are serving like crazy right now. i think maybe this is more meaningful than when he tried to kill her, cause that was just a too little too late type of thing where he wouldnt have actually accomplished anything by succeeding, and also had no chance of doing so. BUT realizing his CONFIDENCE and his FREEDOM actually is meaningful and it will accomplish things later on!!! :D YAY TAVROS
insane behavior
i think i agree with john here, i dont think it is out of line for him to hesitate in giving you the life ring. you dont have to be a good person to be a hero. but you do have to do... heroic things? like, ever? maybe once in your fucking life? when is the last time ANYTHING you did could be considered "heroic?" when you were alive, all you did was make everyone around you suffer. they had to kill you just to make sure you didnt doom them all. when youre dead, sure youre hunting down a weapon to kill the big bad monster, but you dont even seem to care about the millions of troll lives you are mind controlling against their will to be bait for your big mission. who the hell are you trying to save? the heroes that are alive in this story literally NEVER encounter the version of the villain that you are trying to stop. whats more, this big plan to use the your ghost army FAILS because the one who was doing basically ALL the legwork mind controlling most of the ghosts ditches you, and the only reason you still have an army by the end is because the guy you fucking bullied the whole time when you were alive (and a lot of the time you were dead) BAILS you out by ACTUALLY being a hero and a genuinely good person that doesnt need to MIND CONTROL PEOPLE to get them to follow him. look. i understand everything you are saying. about not having time to deal with the morals and ethics of what you are trying to accomplish. because the ends justify the means. but the thing is that NONE of it matters. YOUR PLAN FAILS. YOU GIVE UP and have an actual SATISFYING character arc. then it gets retconned and the main version of you goes back to being Worse. and then her plan...? succeeds? i guess? if succeeding means literally EVERY ghost in the army gets obliterated, the secret weapon deploying the four beta kids who are almost all killed by LE, and randomly davepeta being the one to throw him as well as themself into a blackhole. i guess if that counts as success, then congrats. you didnt even get to see that happen though, because you got ejected from the fight frame one. HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT!
anyway... what was i doing. oh yeah look at this. this is a bit sad
okay this is pretty real. even if it is nonsensical, and maybe a little bit problematic?
me talking about myself three images ago
i like this panel. poor john cannot find his friends
this is a very cool panel as well
FAWK
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worlds most epic meetup
my worst nightmare
fucking scary ass motherfucker please get a grip. also brown contacts .
GOD. ROXY IS SO FUCKING REAL AND TRUE. THEYRE ACTUALLY MY GOAT ITS SO FUCKING INSANE HOW MUCH I LOVE ROXY
well. things are pretty bad right now! jade is evil jane is evil everyone is on random planets with no memory of how they got there john is missing. if i didnt know any better this might seem like the beginning of something really bad . but what do i know. anyway catch you on the next one. or catch me? joff i will see you next time. ok joff bye joff
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poly Billy and Stu and their s/o as parents? like the type of father's they'd be and all
A/N: glad you all know that i'm only here to put these dumb-ass boys in all sorts of domestic scenarios and nothing else.
billy loomis x reader x stu macher ft. starting a family with these idiots
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Let's get one thing straight here. Billy has been dodging the idea of starting a family since you started having it. He could smell the urge to have a kid on you and was like (big gag). There are so many reasons for him being like this he can hardly name them all. This doesn't stop him from trying you know, cause he's a huge asshole.
Him? Somebody's Dad? Okay babe, sure. He lists a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the root of the problem which is actually his own insecurities. Yes it's true he's never really liked kids much. Yes it's true he's probably not the best role model even after all these years of growing up. You get the picture already Billy, fucking hell.
Stu is neutral on the subject for a long time until his own "biological clock" starts ticking. Then you both find yourself sharing longing looks at families you cross on the street. You'll be having lunch out somewhere and coo at a baby that's all the way across the restaurant. Stu happily joining in. Once Stu is on your side Billy starts getting really defensive .... (aka more insecure).
Honestly you're not the one to talk him out of his own head for this one. That's all Stu. Because as ridiculous and goofy as Stu can be he understands intimately and deeply how Billy works no matter how much of an enigma Billy fucking thinks he is. Billy storms out because he doesn't want to deal with his feelings (first time he's done it in years) and Stu goes to chase him down and tells you not to worry, he's got this.
You're very upset but when they come back the first thing Billy does is kiss you gently, Stu standing in the doorway and simply watching. There's several visible hickies on Stu's neck so you know he and Billy already made up while they were gone. Now it's your turn to receive Billy's apologetic affection. You and Stu share a knowing exasperated look over Billy's shoulder. You both love him though.
Billy was just insecure about being a shitty parent or your relationship falling apart and somehow effecting a kid. Honestly it all goes back to his own undealt with familial problems and once Stu gave him an honest talk about how you're all not #His Parents?? He's good. He's using his braincell again and he's fine.
Now onto the actuality of having the kid! You're in for quite the ride co-parenting with these two bastard idiots.
Stu is the dad you can get away with doing just about anything with. He’s the parent that if you go to them they’ll just say yes. Sometimes he’ll use his one borrowed braincell and hit the kid with “did you ask dad?” or “did you ask s/o?”. The kid pouts because like .... obviously fucking not since I came to ask the parent who'd just give in. Weak-willed! Weak-willed! Weak-willed!
This is Billy every time he has to talk to his kid about any bad behavior.
You'll have to be the PTA parent right off the bat because the boys are just ...not gonna. Unless there's a real problem they're gonna default assume everything is fine and not look deeper or get too involved because like... This has nothing to do with my fucking kid in particular? You want me to go to a parent meeting....about....repairs in the library? Fuck you.
The one exception to this is during the "first starting school age" and it's Billy who is the exception. Stu loves the kid but he's very chill and not a helicopter parent. He's honestly the one who has to calm you two down a lot because he knows everything will be fine.
Billy? Kid first starts school and he's this parent (don't watch past 15:00). He thought he'd be fine but he's anxious as shit. The last one to leave the drop-off even if his kid is fine. But oh god .... oh god if they're freaking out? Oh boy he's gonna start freaking out. Hiding it like a pro but you know your man and can see the panic in his eyes. One well placed "daddy I wanna go home!" and he'll break and haul them right from the classroom. You and Stu have to intervene.
Billy wants to hang out in the cafe that just so happens to be a five minute walk from the school all day. You put your foot down and tell him they're gonna be fine. You have to cuddle him on the couch all day to keep him still. When it's time to go pick the kid up he's out the door ... so fucking fast. He almost leaves y'all highkey. Billy and the kid run to each other full speed and he picks them up and doesn't put them down...like....all day. No you two cannot get a turn.
Sometimes Billy gets very emotional about the life they’re giving their kid. Not out of insecurity or anything like he thought would happen when he first thought of starting a family with you and Stu. He actually realizes that you’re all doing a fantastic job of being parents and that your house is full of love to the max. It makes him soft(TM).
Wanted to keep this totally gender neutral but it’s gotta be said ….. this goes double for if the s/o is a woman. Seeing them with their child stirs something in Billy deeply vulnerable. He’s literally buried his head in the crook of your neck before and thanked you quietly for being such an incredible mother. He was so sincere about it you started crying and honestly? ….Maybe he allegedly got misty eyed. Okay back to gender neutrality now!
Y’all wouldn’t have more than two kids honestly. I can’t imagine Billy and Stu wanting more than that. And they’d want to have them really close together/close in age so they grow up close/as friends. They're the single kids who kinda wished they'd had a sibling growing up. Billy because he thinks that would have been less lonely and Stu because he thinks it would have been fun. You (if you have siblings) know.... better. But if you wanted multiple kids yourself you keep your mouth shut and just wait for them to watch and learn.
Stu is the favorite parent honest-fucking-tea. He just is! He’s playful. He’s fun. He’s loving. He lets his kid climb all over him and play wrestle. They're constantly playing airplane or on this man's shoulders. He can match them energy wise any day of the week. He doesn’t stop being the favorite when they get older either. When the kid is like grown/20′s basically whatever their "I am no longer being raised to be a person" stage of life? They’d probably dead ass hang out with him as a "friend".
"Nah I can’t come to the party I got plans with my dad this weekend…. fuck you he’s way more fun than you guys-”
Billy is the strictest parent but he’s very loving and devoted. He’s the parent your kid runs to whenever they feel they need protection. It warms Billy’s heart to be that to them. Their first line of defense against the whole world. It’s been like this since they were little. If they had a nightmare they’d run into the bedroom and bypass the two of you completely and head straight for Billy. He's also a little smug about it. Especially to Stu and especially if they have a daughter. I'm the alpha Dad?? Tremble before me.
They don’t have a preference for adopting or having bio kids. You’re probably the deal-breaker on that, your choice goes.
Adoption? They both thought they wanted a boy. Super adamant about it. Gonna play football... grill shit together. ...grill a football together. You? Neutral. But all along you knew damn well you were gonna wind up having a fucking daughter. Lo and behold!
They see a little girl playing by herself in the corner. She can’t be much older than six. She set herself up a whole little mini city and then they watched as she took a dinosaur toy .... and destroyed it thoroughly. She made quiet screaming people noises and everything. Or just ..... this. They instantly looked at each other like 👀👀👀 are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Billy, clutching his chest: oh shit what’s going on You: your heart is growing three sizes you fucking grinch- Billy: don’t fucking curse she could hear you and she’s ours now-
Once they've got the perfect weirdo little girl under their belt then they'll think about having a boy. But they'd want to make sure she's totally settled into life with the three of you before they bring another kid into the mix. And ... lmao if she expresses disinterest in having another kid around. She is ... #Princess and gets whatever she wants. Whatever! She! WANTS!
You have to convince her you three will never love her less even with another kid around and besides .... she's gonna be getting a stinky brother this time so she'll still get to be daddy's (plural) little girl. She agrees and now the boys are back on board. Fucking absolute pussies.
Funniest fucking thing if you guys go as a family once again to try and get a boy and instead your daughter bonds with a ..... get ready for it! Different little girl! Billy and Stu are fucking SCREAMING. Look at her this one is perfect too. God dammit ... god dammit we have another daughter now.
Two daughters? Two? They'd rule the fucking house. Billy can see manipulation coming from a mile away and yet he let's it happen because they're both so cute running the show. Plus it's like when lions fake being hurt when their cubs attack them to encourage them to be better hunters. He wants his daughters sharp! He wants his daughters clever! He wants them to be able to do whatever the fuck they wanna do!
Stu is less good at seeing the manipulation and it's so fucking funny .... he doesn't even wanna see it! He's legally blind! His babies want something? He will throw any amount of money at them and whatever they want. Is the Dad that they'd beg him to start like... a new hobby or sport and he'd get them everything they need to do it (top of the line expensive shit) and then! If they wanna quit a week later? Not even mad! What do we wanna do this week, sweethearts?
You have to stop them from being spoiled, little monsters because your husbands sure fucking won't.
You have walked in on them doing tea parties and you did take pictures. Stu was posing for them while Billy just looked straight at the camera with murder in his eyes and you knew in your heart you were gonna be getting payback for this later in the bedroom (worth it).
Billy is the type of Dad that if he tells someone he's gonna be busy watching his kids and they go "oh? babysitting duty, huh?" he launches into a ten minute rant about "how am i fucking babysitting? it's my fucking kids? these are my kids? you can't baby-sit your own fucking kids. that's called parenting. you know what, Nicholas? that's why your kids are so fucked up-"
Billy starts beef with other parents if I didn't make that clear.
Stu is the parent that gets too into whatever his kids are doing. School plays? Soccer games? Science fair? Jesus christ... he has quite literally almost gotten you all banned from every activity your kid has been in. He's gotten penalties before. Decided to skip the middle man once and coach your girl's teams to make it easier. Chaos ensued that summer.
Honestly? Best Dad(s) Award. 10/10. Should totally do it again.
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#billy loomis x reader x stu macher#stu macher x reader#billy loomis x reader#stu macher imagine#billy loomis imagine#slasher x reader#billy would take the longest to want kids and stu is billy's follower adjkl#however there'd get to be a point where stu starts seeing families out in public and kids playing around with their dads and shit that he#just cannot parse anymore...billy i wanna be a fucking Dad now we're like 40 years old i need you to get over your mommy and family issues-#stu and the reader would have to gang up on him to get the kid they want but once billy hAS the kid??#billy: if anything ever happened to my child i would kill everyone in this room and then myself#like adjkl i'm serious in that i feel he'd even be wary during...the pregnancy or adoption progress#like he's going along with it because he doesn't think it's fair to deprive both his partners of something they really want but#he ...is wary and just decided that 'hey i can at least give some kid a good home' and figuring you and stu will give the kid .....actual#love...and shit .....like god i wish i could put into words what he's thinking but#it goes out the window once he actually gets the kid so it doesnt matter adjk;#if you adopt you're gonna walk outta that place with the WEIRDEST kid ...she's either lilo or anne of the green fucking gables#they will not SETTLE for normal domestic home life they want ODD-BALLS we're the fucking ADDAMS family in this bitch
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another helping of living w/ bakugou thoughts:
pls i am so sorry, i feel like i bombard y’all with these constantly, but u don’t understand, he literally lives in my brain full time
- if you’re rolling your sleeves up, to wash your hands before dinner, he’ll whack your hands away and do it himself. very much “you’re takin’ too long, idiot. i wanna eat already. let me do it.”,, don’t be fooled tho, you could do it in 2.5 seconds and he’d still open his mouth. bc it has absolutely nothing to do with u and everything to do with him wanting to be close to you
-ik he watches the mha equivalent of the history channel. i just know it. dude is a grandpa at heart, n im so confident he would 100% sit down and watch a 3 hr docu on like, old weaponry or some nerdy shit
-bakugou is annoyingly arrogant, but only about things that don’t matter. like, he’ll fully sit in front of you and tell you he’s stronger/faster/smarter in passing conversation,, but when he does actually impressive shit??? the man clams up. absolutely clams up the second you praise him, trying to brush off whatever ridiculous feat he just pulled to protect u with a “It’s not that big a deal, shut up about it already, dumbass.”
- pls mans is an absolute simp. u ask him to do something and he’s on his feet in a second. ofc he’s complaining but he’s also then following that up by doing things you didn’t even ask him to do. fan behavior honestly.
-when you’ve had a bad day, he’ll make u food and throw blankets in the dryer for u. don’t expect much verbal comforting from him, bc obviously, but he’s pretty good with actions. you always feel a little warmer after he’s wrapped you in a blanket n fed you something ungodly spicy
- i have absolutely no basis for this but ik he secretly watches kids movies. like, if it’s animated then he’s there. ofc no one is allowed to find out about this ‘embarrassing’ behavior tho, except maybe you. maybe. if you accidentally happen to see it bc he’d never tell u himself.
- he’s a beast to wake up in the morning, but he’s a lot more easy to convince if u pet his hair. or rub his back/shoulders. maybe even kiss his neck. look, u cannot tell me that he doesn’t want to be absolutely coddled in the morning- especially when he can get away with it so easily.
-bakugou always pulls ur legs into his lap if u sit down next to him. pls he’s so weird, he’ll just like, tap his fingers on ur calves absentmindedly while he’s watching tv
-he probably created a playlist of songs ur ‘allowed’ to play around him. meaning, it’s only the songs on ur phone that he likes 🙄
-bakugou always takes his work phone calls outside. like if his phone rings he’ll just stand up n walk tf out the door to take it. even if it’s cold. u ask him once about it n he just “Work stays at work. This is my fuckin’ home. Now shut up about it already.”
-you’ve never once seen this man wearing socks around the house. don’t ask me, i cannot explain this whatsoever, but i just kno this man walks around constantly barefoot 🤢🤮 unfortunately.
-he’s like, the most functional person ever in almost every aspect, but the stuff katsuki is bad at?? pls he is hopelessly bad. like, lets say art stuff. omg he just doesnt have the patience for it, okay, so say goodbye to any dreams of cute lil couple’s crafts. like, he’ll sit there while u do yours, but his will look like utter shit
- during the week, katsuki is either at work, training, or at home. pls, he works so hard during the day that i highly doubt he’s anything but an absolute homebody during the work week.
- bakugou gets pissy if u re-arrange any of the furniture on a whim. pls he likes comfort and familiarity n if he stubs his toe on the stupid coffee table one more fucking time, he’s going to scream
-its a rare occurance,, especially bc of the crazy hours he works,, but bakugou rlly likes making dinner for u to come home to. he just likes to feel like he’s taking care of u tbh
-he still goes to bed at like 8:30. or thats what u think, but rlly he just goes to sit in your room and have some time to himself for a bit. as much as he loves u, he prob still needs some alone time to recharge
-bakugou takes meticulous care of any plants u have in the house. like he’ll water them on a strict-ass schedule, n preen them when necessary. pls the way he’ll curse them out if they even dare to wilt under his care?? very much “What the hell, you bitch? ‘m doin’ everything fuckin’ perfect! Grow already!”
-katsuki is such a little bitch when he’s sick. he’ll be running like a 103 temp, brain literally melting, and still trying to get up and work out. the only way u can get him to chill the hell out is if u take a nap with him. ofc that means u always get sick too,, but hey- lil sacrifices right??
-he never lets you get the door. like, if there’s a knock n neither of u knows who it could be,, pls he’s on his feet so fast. waving u away n looking thru the keyhole w/ sm suspicion
-he has his spot on the couch, n u will not find him sitting anywhere else. like, that’s his spot. u better pray for anybody who mistakenly takes it
-bakugou doesn’t like dirt or grime, so he won’t allow you or himself, to sit on your bed with clothes that have been outside. like, even if you’re just sitting on top of the covers, he’s gonna throw a fit and demand you change your clothes first bc “No way in hell am I gonna let your dumbass dirty up my bed.”
-katsuki rlly likes when it storms outside. he’ll go sit in front of the window and watch the rain, sipping on a warm drink while he waits for more thunder.
-living with bakugou is incredibly frustrating, bc he’ll just show up with new skills all of the goddamn time. like you’ll be like, “hmm i’d love to remodel the bathroom someday”,, and the very next weekend bakugou is meticulously re-tiling the bathroom floor by hand, probably also painting the walls in a new color, maybe even installing a new sink just to spruce it up. n then he’ll just present the entirely new, upgraded room with such weird nonchalance that it pisses u off. pls and if you watch him while he does these little projects, with all the weird precision and skill he suddenly gains?? pls you’re sure he must be possessed by the ghost of a craftsman
- when he hangs out with the bakusquad, he’ll drag you along every time. he expects you to sit with him the entire time and act as a social buffer?? basically, someone’ll ask him a question, one he deems stupid and therefore not worth answering, and bakugou will just look at you expectantly. he’ll just stare at you blankly, hardly even blinking until you pick up the slack and answer for him. you call him out on this many times, but it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t change anything. he does this over and over and over again
-bakugou gets really unsettled when you guys fight. like, he can’t sleep and he’s snapping at everybody, and is somehow more aggressive than usual. he always wants to just make up already, but the pride in the way won’t allow it
-he’s a weird stickler about intended furniture functionality?? like, the table is for eating, and the couch is for watching tv, and then only way you’re gonna get him to mix the two is if you ask him rlly rlly nicely
-finally- i have no basis for this one, but ik it in my heart: bakugou has a very intense fight with your thermostat nearly every single day. he swears up and down that it never ‘behaves’ for him, but every time you check it, it’s working perfectly fine
--/--
ahahhaa sorry y’all for the super random spam today,, but here were are back to our regularly scheduled bakugou programming,,,, bc idk if it’s obvious ur honor, but i love him
#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x self insert#bakugou hcs#bakugou headcannons#bakugou fluff#bnha fic#mha fic#mha headcannons#bnha headcannons
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What are some of your favorite au ideas/headcanons about the arctic anarchists?
anon this ask made me realize i have done Nothing like. headcanon related in terms a mcyt shit and. wow. thats shocking that used to be my Brand in other fandom circles lkhsl;hsg anyways uh heres randomass hc’s
technoblade is avoiding home. he gave the go-ahead to let ranboo stay and he Likes ranboo but the last time some kid was in his house.... it didnt go well. hes Avoiding that all over again. also confrontation scary
ranboo is also Very Horrified for when techno goes back to the commune like. philza is great, he’s a friend. technoblade is a ‘friend’ but holy SHIT he’s terrifying. that guy is a force to be reckoned with and like. what if ranboo does something Wrong? also. confrontation scary.
basically; both ranboo and technoblade are socially awkward messes. philza is tired of them but doesnt step in (yet)
technoblade goes home. he sees none of his things have been touched. his house is intact. theres no ugly cobblestone towers. thats all good signs
philza points to the lil nook in the mountain where he wants to make a dog pen and technoblade sees some makeshift shack already constructed
the cow farm causes him to recoil for just a split second but he ignores that
when ranboo first meets technoblade he stutters and basically shoves the New axe of peace he made for techno in his hands, rambles on about getting them more emeralds and how he Swears he didnt touch anything ever
technoblade shows affection through Giving. when ranboo gifts him a new axe to make up for the one that tommy took he is like. he has to take a few moments ok . he leaves ranboo suddenly
from ranboo’s perspective technoblade like. goes completely silent, back straight, doesnt say a word, and then skulks off. ranboo is writing his will out after that
technoblade Cant like. rationalize this right now hes losing his mind so ofc he goes to phil
“philza he gave me an axe. its netherite.” “Oh yeah, he’s been sayi--” “what is he planning he’s plotting something.” “WHAT”
Philza has to convince techno that, no, ranboo isnt using some extreme manipulation tactics against him. and then he has to convince ranboo that No he isnt going to get killed. bonding times :)
no matter how much philza insists that ranboo can take whatever he wants, ranboo Refuses to take any a their things or use anything unless philza basically Shoves it right in his hands. so philza does. constantly
technoblade is trying to Keep Some Distance but like. he’s gotta be nice yknow? so he gifts ranboo things by leaving them in his ‘house’ when he’s away
its always smaller things, like dyes ranboo was talking about getting or food.
ranboo doesnt even realize its from technoblade he just assumes that he forgot he got it and moves on. technoblade doesnt ever bring it up
phil catches technoblade trying to sneak in and leave something while ranboo is sleeping and he (quietly) yells at him
ranboo tries explaining how eyecontact Feels to him to the both of them Really Anxiously and that it’s like ‘physically uncomfortable’ but technoblade interupts
‘wait but isnt that normal’
theres a very long awkward silence before technoblade changes the subject completely
philza is Very used to technoblade’s not so human traits (hiding ‘valuables’ away from them, talking to the voices under his breath, distracted by gold easily, a sort of ‘bloodlust’ if hurt, snorts and squeals when he forgets to repress them) but he is Not used to ranboo’s habits
the first one noticed is that ranboo is... not exactly stealing. but he Always seems to want some block in his hand. he doesnt seem to realize it, picking up things, walkin around, fiddling with it, and then putting it down somewhere random
leads to some arguments with techno before they find their enchanting table in the nearby village
Ranboo is Always Aware of when someone looks at him. philza will glance at him from inside techno’s house through the window, and then suddenly ranboo bolts upright and stares directly at him. philza Always jumps out of his skin
once techno watched as ranboo yawned, his entire jaw cracking and stretching open wide to show rows of thin teeth. techno hasnt been the same since
technoblade berates ranboo’s little ‘shack’, sayings its lame and ‘philza probably thinks its ugly’ ranboo just shrugs but one day he returns home late at night to see technoblade Attempting to build an Actual House for him
ranboo clears his throat and technoblade attacks on instinct. philza patches him up and techno says sorry really briefly then leaves. ranboo keeps finding diamonds and golden apples in his house now
sometimes ranboo finds technoblade just laying in the middle of his cow pen. he doesnt question it
ranboo starts writing little things that like. he wouldnt usually write in his memory book. ‘unimportant’ things
moments like times he spent brushing all the dogs in the kennel, brewing potions with phil and techno in near silence together, weird little ‘catchphrases’ techno says, that time he watched technoblade trip over his own cape. little things
it takes a while for technoblade to be Really and truly comfortable around ranboo. and frankly ranboo doesnt even notice any change. philza does
technoblade makes ranboo clothing to match the aesthetics and actually gives it to him, even specifically making it extra warm since ranboo never lived somewhere so cold
philza instantly notices when he stops carrying Any sort of weapon when ranboo is around at home.
at some point ranboo calls it home for the first time and like. techno’s ears flick in his direction. he’s perked up for the entire walk home. shifting his eyes in ranboo’s direction but not quite
philza cooes over it and pokes fun of techno later that day and technoblade huffs at him but doesnt say anything
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oikawa tooru as a boyfriend
others; ushijima | tsukkishima | tanaka | kuroo
some of you all don't understand how great of a boyfriend he'll be,,,,, aND IT PAINS ME
HES A LITERAL KID IN THE RELATIONSHIP
like oh my god
he'll ruffle your hair,,,, give you piggy back rides,,, tickle wars,,,, teasing you about how you're such a simp for him,,,, he's just the type of boyfriend that WILL leave your heart pounding
to be honest,,,, he didn't expect to like anyone,,, given that half of his time is consumed by volleyball
but his pretty boy bravado goes out of the window when he meets you oh gosh
he denied his feelings for the longest because you know,, his past experiences with relationships,,,,, but then he saw your smile and he knew he was fucked™
will go around showing pictures of you and be like
“HAVE YOU SEEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE–?”
and everyone will be like “for the fiftieth time– yes.”
he uses pet names like ‘baby’ ‘honey’ ‘sugar’ ‘bubs’
you know how most of the hq boys will lend you their jacket?? yeah,,,, if you ask oikawa HE WILL EVEN TAKE OFF HIS JERSEY AND GIVE IT TO YOU
if you ever come to his matches,,,, He smirks so damn match and the opposing team gulps because oikawa smirking is not a good sign
and if you cheer for him,,,, he'll be like “YES THATS MY BABY ARE Y'ALL JEALOUS HAHA??? SUCKS TO BE YOU THEN” and the entire team is trying to stop him before he gets kicked out
oikawa loves being in physical contact with his significant other at all times,,, so holding hands, forehead kisses, back hugs are all too common
BUT HE WILL KISS YOU IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TEAM ON PURPOSE,,, ESPECIALLY KNOWING THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU SHY
his favorite place to kiss you though is on your wrists,,, they're so delicate compared to his,,, and his hands wrap around them so easily he can't help but kiss them
dates consist of going to volleyball matches of other teams to analyze them while wearing disguises,,,, going to the park for the swings,,, going to local cafes and maybe even having study dates but,, oikawa isn't letting you study
he even loves going to watch sunsets with you
spoils the absolute shit out of you,,, flowers, matching couple outfits,,,, you name it, he'll do it
HES SO CHEESY OH MY GOSH HE FLIRTS WAY TOO MUCH AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY TO HIDE THAT HE'S LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU
and yes, he will absolutely trap you between a wall and steal kisses I DONT MAKE THE RULES
one day,, oikawa will come up to you randomly and be like “can you wear your most expensive dress?”
and once you do,,, he'll be in a suit,,,
and then he'll play some song from the 1960’s and you two will dance around in the living room
and then he'll also take you out to dinner
also– PLEASE PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ITS SO FLOOFY
oikawa loves one thing,,, and it's a very intimate thing but he loves taking showers with you,,, after his tiring day, he just wants to be in your arms and he wants you to wash his hair will he washes yours,,,, he also loves it when you give him massages
and perverts, get your minds out of the gutter
I know a lot of people think oikawa won't be loyal in a relationship,,, sorry to break ya bubble lovelies but I think he'll be one of the most geniune and loyal boyfriends,,,
yes he will have a bit of trouble trusting, especially in the start of the relationship where he wouldn't share anything at all,,, but please don't ever doubt his love for you,,,
oikawa would never cheat on you, heck he'd be showing his fan girls pictures of you,,,, he'd decline their confessions like they were nothing,, because he only has his eyes one person and that's you
on bad days, he'll bury his head in your chest,, wanting nothing more than to stay in your warmth
fights happen because you want him to take care of himself and stop with the reckless attitude
he might be a tad bit mean at first,,, but once he cools down, he'll immediately apologize and maybe even start crying,,, telling you how much he loves you and that you're right– he needs to be more careful,,,
and the next day, oikawa will start texting you what he's eating, how much he slept etc omg
if you're upset,,,, he'll do anything in his power to make you happy,,, be it kisses, shopping,,, it doesn't matter
your happiness matters so much to him,,, he'd walk on a bed of nails if it'd make you smile
you'll be there with him, laughing your asses off,,, and the only thing oikawa will be thinking is “i wouldn't rather be anywhere else than here”
he feels so warm in his chest,,, more warm than he's ever felt before,, and he thinks that you'll be the death of him,,,
all in all,, he's a sweetheart,,, yes it might be tough in the start but once he's comfortable,,, you'll be second guessing whether oikawa is actually an angel or a human being
#oikawa tooru#oikawa hcs#oikawa headcanons#oikawa torū#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#oikawa imagine#haikyuu oneshot#oikawa x reader#oikawa x you
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Last right off Diagon
Inspired by prompt Curiosity for @drarrymicrofic , and written for a laugh.
It's an ugly little hole in the wall, Draco thinks. Peeling paint, done the muggle way, and dirty windows that probably wouldn't let in the mere amounts of light that this area of Diagon is privy to. Especially with the amount of crap blocking Dracos view inside.
So he can't see the proprietor. He can't see whether theres anyone else inside. Shit. He wants to turn back, give up. Take the bag hanging at his side and toss it into the Thames right fucking now.
He's hyperventilating. He can't believe he's actually standing in front of this stupid store with a bag filled with. Curios. And he's actually hyperventilating.
"Um-"
And Draco jerks, hard, right into the window.
His nose stings, and he can feel the beginnings of blood dripping atop his cupid's bow and down his chin. He's not hyperventilating now: thank Merlin for small mercy's. He turns to direct his swearing at the person who startled a man in the middle of a panic attack, blood flooding down his face, and sees a wand directed right at his nose.
Draco, ex-convict, is unfortunately used to this reaction to his presence. He doesn't waste his precious sanity on worrying about it anymore, but at this point he's feeling a little fragile all in all. So when his panic attack picks right up from where it started, and his head starts to get a little woozy from the lack of oxygen and the continued expelling of blood from his nostrils, he doesn't blame himself much.
"Fuck- fuck, Sir I'm really sorry. Let me. Can I just fix- oh. Wait," and then there's a hand on Dracos shoulder, and the picture in front of his face clears a little now that theres an anchoring to his woozy drifting: he sees a young man, bright pink hair, yellow amber eyes, and looking scared to shit. Alarm bells ring momentarily, before the kid says: "... Mr. Malfoy?"
And of course that's the Black nose. Draco's nose. And this is Aunt Andromeda's ward - grandkid - the metamorph. And that's still 12 inches of Cherry directed right at his bleeding nose, and Draco has a split second out of body experience where he remembers that time he broke this kid's godfathers' nose when he was about the same age.
"I'm Teddy... Lupin. Um. Andromeda Tonks' grandson? Can I episky your nose? It looks pretty bad."
Draco must shrug in acceptance, because the next second the kid applies what seems like quite an expert episky charm right at the break, plugging the flow of blood. A modified scourgify collects all the blood from Dracos face and his clothes too, and now he looks just as he'd intended. Patrician and handsome, collected and unbothered. No blood. No panic attack in sight any longer, like it was siphoned away too.
Draco still hasnt said a word since he stopped muttering foul language at the sight of the wand. This 17 year old seems too quietly confident to be even the requisite amount of mad required for a Black. As Draco thought though, the nose is right, and the chin. It makes him... kind of fond for the kid he hasn't seen since he was 5. Especially when Teddy is looking up at him like hes worried beyond belief for a silent man in the middle of Diagon who's a bit too fragile for his own good.
"Ted?" Comes a call in a hauntingly familiar voice, then. Teddy turns towards it, the figure walking out of the door of the dirty old antiques shop, and Draco can't do anything but twitch a little when the bag on his shoulder looses whatever traction it kept, and goes clattering to the cobbles beneath his feet. The clang of burnished silver goblets, Lucius Malfoys old wizarding table clock, and whatever else Draco was able to scrounge up from the Manor to justify this trip to seeing Harry after 10 years away - after 10 years of running from the inevitable - that clang echoes like it's heralding Draco's imminent demise.
When Harry's eyes meet Dracos, all 3 meters of space and a 17 year old kid between them, Draco feels like hes 24 again. When Harry's eyes go wide with shock, that must be 20. When his eyes narrow, then that's 18 (post trial). And then when Harry pulls his wand and points it at Draco, well, that's years 11 all the way through to 17.
A levitation charm, and Dracos bag settles back on his shoulder. Teddy mumbles something about getting back to the till, and goes rushing back through the door his godfather is still kind of blocking. Harry has to walk forward - towards Draco - to let the kid around him, and then they're only 2 and a half meters away from each other.
Which shortens to 1 meter when Harry crosses the distance. "What you got there?"
Draco's a little stumped. Has been for far too long now, so he has to fake some courage. "Curios."
"Right," says Harry, eyebrows pushed under his fringe. "Ten years, inconsistent letters, and you turn up at my shop to bring me-" incredulousness "-curios?"
"You've named the shop Curiosity's Curios, Harry. You can't blame me for trying to adhere to tradition."
Harry scoffs. "Leave off. No smoke screens, please. From what I've heard you're out of Level 9 - don't bring it here."
Draco deflates. He has a moment to think about whether this is going to help matters or make them worse. But he does know that it'll make Harry laugh.
He drops the bag on purpose this time, clanging echoing once again. And then his knees follow, until hes folded up in front of Harry on the cobbles at the far end of Diagon Alley.
"Harry James Potter."
"Good god, Draco."
"I hereby apologize for that time when I stomped on your nose on the Train that one time and covered you with your stupid invisibility cloak, and then wished you dead when you still turned back up at dinner later that night."
"Come on, get up. Just because theres no one here now doesnt mean someone wont turn up and see you debasing yourself on the street."
"Dont interrupt, or I'll sonorous myself."
"Merlins sake, then hurry it up."
"Harry, honestly, you're an idiot if you think people are wandering all the way down here to buy dirty old antiques at lunch time on a Monday. We are well and truly alone."
"This is the weirdest grovelling I've ever heard."
"I've seen the error of my ways. Truly. Your godson all but pushed my head into your dirty glass windows and broke my nose. It's almost poetic, really."
And that got it, because Harry laughs. Loud and booming, echoing across the cobbles and the stone walls. "And you think he has no Black madness!"
"He doesn't," Draco counters, rising up on his knees. "What he does have is the strange Potter-nurtured ability to turn up when is most inconvenient!"
"Well," and Harry leans over so that his face is closer to Draco's. "Someone should have thought about the severe consequences of letting the last Black stew amongst the riffraff when he went off undercover for 10 years, shouldn't they have."
Draco sighs mournfully. "And I see you've protested my absence admirably by refusing to clean your shop windows for a decade. Truly, Harry, I admire your dedication to the cause."
"Oh!" Exclaims Harry, reaching out a hand to touch Draco's nose. "That's why theres this grime all over your face-"
"Oh god stop!" And Draco flicks his wrist with a quick scourgify of his own to get at- "Don't mess with me like that, Harry."
Draco is pouting and Harry is laughing again.
Draco gets up eventually, with Harry's hand in his own helping him. They walk into Harry's shop, and they settle down so that Draco can write a few letters of greeting to his loved ones. Hes sure that within the hour the stacks of cups and saucers and clocks and trinkets and curios that Harry has been collecting for years will be shuddering at the force of the howlers that'll just force their way through the wards Draco could put up, so he doesnt bother with them. Will let them come. His feet are resting in Harry's lap, and Harry has a firm grip around an ankle. Teddy is looking back at them from the till in confusion and boredom, annoyed that his sly questioning glances haven't brought forth any answers.
Harry and Draco are both 34 year old men who have been very content for the last 10 years to just accept whatever is happening. The last owl flies off announcing Draco's return to the surface, and then Harry is pushing off from his chair and announcing that if Draco really is going to be sticking around, he better make himself useful. Draco counters by saying that his nose has only just been broken, and he can feel the remnants of his panic attack in the depths of his bones. Harry laughs loudly, and Teddy seems to snort - without remorse - but all the same Draco hops up and makes three cups of tea. Makes himself useful.
#drarry#harry potter#harry potter fanfic#tone consistency? i dont know her#drarrymicrofic#kind of#prompt: curiosity#fic#definitely not 50 words#my fic
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The Helping Hand
This is a Repost from my Ao3 I wanted to bring it to Tumblr. I hope you like it Its currently 5 chapters I will be uploading the rest throughout the rest of the week.
Word Count: 3300 approx
Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.
Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)
Ch.4
Chapter 5: Age of Ultron pt.2
Ch.6
"Y/N you can't keep coming in and not talking." Your therapist tells you quite frustrated. "I'm paying you aren't I, I'll do what I please with the time I pay for." You say finally making eye contact with her. She only sighs. "Y/N I find that often people ask for help in the most obvious yet concealed manner."
You turn away, she continues. "You said it yourself you're paying me… If you don't want me to ask these questions, walk out and stop paying me." You look back "I can't… because I feel like I might just explode at any point." She nods encouraging you to continue.
"Recently I went through something that combined with all the other shit i've gone through… I can't cope. I don't know how." You wipe your eyes and continue. "I've never been stable, but i've always been okay with that. I've never lost anyone in a traumatic way." Your therapist lifts their head. "Who have you lost?"
"I never knew my parents so I didn't really lose them. I knew that Howard was going to pass and I got closure." She jumps in when she realizes you stopped talking. "And what makes this loss different?" You look at her with a tear rolling down your cheek. "The fact that it was my fault."
Three Weeks Ago
Wanda speaks first "I read your mind and all I saw was destruction." He promptly asked her to check again. He then goes on to have some sort of existential crisis not knowing what he actually is. I didn't really start to listen until Clint mentioned where Nat was… Sokovia. You immediately got pale once you heard what Ultron was planning to do with Sokovia. "I need to make a call" you say mostly to yourself but Pietro heard you.
No one noticed you stepped out of the room but him. "Who do you think you're calling?" You jump as he sped in front of you. "I need to warn my family they need to get out." Pietro only laughs "Forgive me but you don't seem like one to have family much less in Sokovia of all places. Why don't you just tell me the truth"
"Im aware you might not know me but I'm Y/N Krast… I run the practice I need to warn my friends. They'll spread the word and start an evac." He sighs. "You need to tell the rest of the guys. It might not be the best move." You nod and walk back into the room there all in. Tony notices you and walks straight to you fearing the Maximoff kid did something to you.
"Did he do anything kiddo because if he did I swear to…" you cut him off. "Im fine but I need to ask you something." He nods telling you to proceed. "Can I warn my friends back in Sokovia? They can help get the people out of there." Tony looks at you and nods. "I guess it can't hurt to take some precautions. Do it." You smile and walk out the room Dialing David immediately.
"Y/N are you okay, it's like three in the morning." You're relieved to hear his voice. "Listen to me David, you need to get as many people as you can out of Sokovia. The people are in danger." Davud sighs "Are you having another melt down remember breathe. In and out…"
"David this is not a game, you have to get as many people as you can out now… Tell Viv too she needs to get her family out. Do as I say David please the people will listen to you." David starts talking again, the panic rising in his voice. "Y/N what do you know… more importantly how do you know?" You raise your voice. "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE DON'T QUESTION ME! Just do it."
David, shocked by your reaction shifts his tone. "I'll do my best. I need to go." He hangs up not even giving you a chance to say goodbye. (This is what you'll end up regretting later.)
"You truly care for these people… your family or friends." You look up and see the last person you expected. The witch is standing there in the doorway. "Yes, I do care, Wanda because believe it or not we're not all bad people." The comment came out more spiteful than you expected wincing at your own words. You're about to apologize when she beats you to it. "I'm sorry about earlier." She looks down picking at her hands.
You sit down on the steps facing a window and signal for her to sit as well. She joins you reluctantly. "I'm not going to bite." You say. Drawing out a small laugh that made your heart flutter. "Did you see inside my head?" You ask. Her head tilts at your question, but ultimately she shakes her head. "Yeah it happens sometimes I can't control it." You nod. "For the record I dont think youre a bitch. Well I did in the moment…" she cuts you off laughing. "I believe the words you used were 'Crazy Bitch'." You chuckle.
"We should get going…" You stand, helping her up and go to the team. “I contacted my friend David, and I texted my… other friend Viv. They’ve started evacuating people as we speak.” Tony nods and gives you an understanding look. “Now what's our plan to save Nat.” Steve goes on to explain his plan which consists of getting as many people as we could out then fighting Ultron. Once you arrived in Sokovia the streets were desolate. Not a soul in sight.
Pietro gazes in astonishment. “Your friends are good.” You nod relieved seeing that David and Viv did what you asked. “Well check if there are any people left behind…” Wanda cuts in. You weren't given the time to check for any last bystanders when she city starts shaking, and there are bots everywhere. You realize that Sokovia is flying. Tony then informs you of Ultrons plans. You all split up fighting the bots and Bruce made his way to Nat. Not long after Hulk and Natasha had made their way to the now floating Sokovia. Long story short the bad guy was defeated, and all was right in the world again.
Present
“Alright Doc, have you been following this I know first hand it can be a little complicated.” She nods as you continue. “Well my friends, not the Avengers. Umm… their names were David, and Vivian.” She notices your struggle to continue but you power through the tears building in your eyes. “You see, saving the world came at a price, a price that I was willing to pay, but not like this. I got to the compound, and dialled David and what did I find?” She tells you to continue. “Five… Five missed calls from David telling me that he was going to stay behind in the Practice with Viv.” Tears are now streaming down your cheeks. “Now I imagine that you know what happened to Sokovia ‘Boom’.” You signal with our hands telling her that it was all gone.
Suddenly a timer goes off and your walls are up again. “Y/N you can continue if you want to, I don't…” You interrupt her standing up and heading to the door. “Actually I think that, that was enough for today.” You say walking out. It was confirmed both David and Viv dead… and it was all because of you. After this you distanced yourself. Declining Maria Hills offer to become an Avenger, and also walking away from the Stark Industries collaboration. Unfortunately falling down a deeper hole than you'd ever been in with our addiction. When walking out of the office building your shrink is in when you bump into someone....
“Long time no see Y/N!” You recognize the voice immediately. “I saw you following me last week, as a matter of fact i've spotted you multiple times Natasha.” She laughs, and you roll your eyes. “Now why are you mad Y/N what did you think would happen? You ghosted everyone after Sokovia, why are you angry?” You sigh and start walking away but she stops you. “Because you were right Natasha there was a cost to this and it's taking quite the toll.” Natasha lets go of your arm confused “What are you talking about everything came out great.” you laugh bitterly “For almost everyone else oh and feel free to tell Pepper than I'm not taking her calls no matter how hard she insists.”
“Does this have anything to do with the drugs Y/N because if it does I know some people that can help you.” The way she says it almost makes you believe that she cares, but at the end of the day you know she had orders. You look at her incredulously walking away again, this time she doesnt stop you.
Natashas POV
“Well if you're not going to tell me guess i'm going to have to find out the hard way.” You walk into the building Y/N just came out of and make your way to the Shrink's office. You not so nicely asked for Y/N’s file. As youre reading the file you remember her words bitter and angry “For almost everyone…” Now it makes sense her friends died and no one was there for her. Fuck. You pick up the phone and dial Pepper. “I know what's going on. Call a meeting in the compound and I'll get there in thirty minutes.”
You meet up with everyone at the compound. You share the files with the team and everyone is shocked talking with each other until you notice Wanda. She doesn't look surprised. You pull her aside. "Why are you being quiet? What do you know about Y/N." She sighs "It was an accident alright when we came back I looked into her head. She looked so happy I was curious… When I looked she was grieving, tearing herself apart."
You look at her. "And you said nothing you let us believe that she just didn't care." She laughs. "She doesn't! She doesn't want your help, she made that quite clear already. The one person she thought that she could count on was some guy named Logan." You querk your head, was she jealous, are you jealous. You shake your head. "What else did you see?" Your ask casually. Testing the waters you didn't want to expose Y/N but you have to know what she knew.
"Was there something else I was supposed to see?" You shake your head no, and make your way back to the team. There's fighting over who should talk to her. "I think Tony should go…" Steve says like it's nothing. You almost laugh. Tony gives you a dirty look. "I think pepper should go." You say matter of factly. She asks you to elaborate. "She cares for you the most, but she is angry not at you in general." She nods and everyone else agrees for lack of a better idea.
Peppers Pov
You walk out of the compound with Tony by your side. "You can come if you want to." Your say to break the silence. He shakes his head. "When are you going to tell her that you're her father." He only sighs "I can't tell her… I can't ruin Howard for her because she loved him." You quickly counter "It's going to be worse the longer you wait." You continue "The only reason I didn't push before was because you weren't sure but now you are Tony she's your daughter."
"That's exactly why I can't tell her now she's dealing with a lot. It's not a good time." You nod "Fine." Is all you can say. You walk into Krast industries expecting to be greeted by a busy work floor but are surprised when you see the exact opposite. You do see a familiar face though commandeering the floor. Logan. "Hey logan how are you? I'm hoping I could talk to Y/N." Logan stops in his tracks.
"What do you mean if i've seen her? I thought she was with you guys." He says the panic growing in his voice. "Umm… no she's not been with us for a couple of weeks now. Are you sure you haven't seen her and what's going on here."
Logans Pov
Of course you knew where she was, but you weren't about to tell them. "Yeah no I've talked to her on the phone I just figured she was with your guys." Pepper is still confused about what is happening. "She asked me to get ready for major remodel… all our employees will work from home for the time being." She nods. "Do you know where I could find her? I really need to talk to her." Well that's not going to happen now. Seen as she's currently passed out on your couch.
"She might be at home… She does this sometimes. She runs, but i'll give you her address if you really want to talk to her."
Your Pov
After running into Natasha you went to a bar. A complete rookie move. You knew better, but at the same time you didn't care you've been loading up taking a larger doses and mixing with alcohol. You called Logan to come pick you up and he was there like always. "I can't lose you Logan, I wouldn't survive it. Why does everyone I love die?" He holds his tongue you can tell. "Tell me what you're thinking it's not good to hold your emotions in…" He laughs bitterly. "You think I'd survive losing you Y/N this feeling goes both ways. You're blind to my pain Y/N seeing you like this hurts me it shakes me to my core."
"I'm not blind to your pain… I know you better than I know myself. I'm going to therapy, and before you say it i'm actually talking this time. I'm getting help." He nods "Every step of the way that includes relapsing. Y/N just don't make me lose you." You nod tears building in your eyes. "I won't."
When you wake up you're in Logan's apartment it's nice. Your head is pounding. You decide to go home… in hindsight that was a horrible idea. You have no idea where you are and also have no idea where you're going. "Fuck… taxi, TAXI."
They dont fucking stop you dont blame them you look like trash, hell you feel like it too. You make it to a coffee shop and just sit there. Waiting for what you don't know at least not until the owner comes around. "I don't want to have to kick you out but it's nearing closing time, want me go call a cab."
You laugh "See id say yes and please but I don't remember where I live." He nods feeling bad for you. "Having a bad day, want to talk about it?" You sigh “I would, but sadly my opening up to complete strangers quota is full for the day.” They laugh handing you some coffee. “It 'll help you sober up, So what is it? Alcohol, meth, let me guess pills.” You widen your eyes. “Don't worry, I'm not judging I meet people of all walks of life.” You nod. “Do you mind if I make a call my friend is probably worried sick.” He hands you his phone and you dial Logan (the only number you know by heart.) “Y/N where are you ive been worried sick. Why did you leave?”
“I went out for coffee you know to sober up faster I needed air.” He sighs “Can you make your way back or do you want me to pick you up?” You turn from the barista person in front of you. “Um I want to go home but I can't for the life of me remember my address.” David gives you your address and calls you a cab. You thank him and end the call. “So it looks like I'm heading home in a minute the taxi won't take long.” He smiles reaching his hand out to take their phone back. “I’ll see you around probably…” You nod "probably not.” You say hesitantly, and he laughs. You Are interrupted by the taxi honking its horn. “I hope to see you around by the way. I'm Zack Gordon.” your smile drops immediately.
You compose yourself before he notices your change in attitude. You plaster on a fake smile and make your way out turning one last time. “We’ll see each other around Zack.” He smiles. The whole cab ride was silent, you're contemplating fate. What are the fucking odds of all the cafe’s you could have walked into you walked into his. When you least expect it you’re in front of your house. You walk in and immediately notice something off. You walk into your living room only to see someone sitting in the dark. You know who it is immediately. “Always with the theatrics, it's starting to get old. Would you like something to drink.” She sighs “Y/N I want to talk.” You sit clapping your hands causing the lights in the house to turn on.
“Right Pepper talk, i'm listening” Her eyes widen, showing her confusion. “Look, I'm not angry with our team or you, but I just have some crap to deal with… Alone.” Pepper looks down. “You don't have to go through this alone, you have us now.” Your eyes bolt to hers. “And how exactly do you know what i'm going through… You know what I don't need to know because it doesn't matter.” you sigh “I’ve gone through life alone. I dealt with the punches life has thrown my way by myself. This won't be the exception.” You see Peppers complexion turn red, she's angry. “Why can't you stop making yourself a martyr, talk about dealing with children? You and Tony are the only ones who can make me this irritated.”
“Because I'm broken Pepper and before Natasha or Wanda decide to tell you I'm an addict. Everything is wrong right now so I need to take a step away, I need to get clean.” Peppers eyes soften moving to sit next to you. “You know i'm not leaving your side right?” Your eyes begin to water. “I relapsed… it's bad Pepper. I've never fallen this hard and I'm scared.” She hugs you. “I’ve never had this… people who really care it was just Logan and I. As of recently it was David, Viv, and I. Now I lost them and I can't. I can't sleep, I can't breathe, and I'm so tired Pepper I don't know how much more of this I can take.”
“Okay come on Y/N let's get you to your room.” You and Pepper stand on your way up the stairs and you start to stumble. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I am very sorry I drank coffee to sober up but it didn't work.” She nods “It’s okay we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” You both finally make it to your room and as soon as your head hits the pillow you fall asleep.
When you wake up you are surprised by your surroundings you didn't quite remember how you got here. You sit up and hear chattering downstairs. You go down stairs, the memories of last night making their way to you now. THE AVENGERS HAVING BREAKFAST IN YOUR KITCHEN. You watch as thor brakes your plates making you flinch. “As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm I dont think Y/N would appreciate us breaking her plates.” you clear your throat and as you do everyone goes quiet. “Good Morning everyone.”
#avengers#tony stark#pepper potts#tony x pepper#wanda maximoff#thor odinson#vision#pietro maximoff#clint barton#natasha romanoff#marvel#avengers ultron#reader x avengers#natasha x y/n#wanda x reader
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2 headcanons per companion
Cait:
- Touchy person. After learning and understanding that it doesn't inherently mean pain, learns to speak and hear it as a love language. Her touches are very jock, though. Shoulder slaps, light punches, hair ruffling, kind of an older brother form of physical affection. Often gets into play-fights with MacCready.
- Has a lovely singing voice, but no one knows because she never sings. Ever. If she sang, it would be a quiet, raspy croon. The type of singing you'd expect to hear in a castle ruins at the coast during a storm. Haunting and enchanting.
Curie:
- Amazing baker, not so good at cooking. Baking is a science, cooking is more about intuition and creativity. She's a by-the-books girl, and unless she has an exact recipe, her cooking is going to taste like anxiety. Great at breads, burns eggs. Always makes delicious muffins, her soups and stews are flavorless and soggy.
She has no idea. Thinks it's fine, and no one will dare tell her to stick to dough-based foods.
- The first time she got drunk, it was off wine. She woke up with her head in agony and on the roof of a shack about 50 miles away from Sanctuary. And with a tattoo on her back. Doesnt know about the tattoo. No one knows about the tattoo. It's a spoon. A very poorly done spoon. Possibly a ladle.
Danse:
- This man may as well be a bear. He has a big appetite, sleeps like he's hibernating for winter, is covered in thick body hair. Danse will wake up only for his natural alarm, his clock alarm, or someone walking up to him and telling him to get up. No noise or physical disturbance will wake him. Nothing. As for his stomach, he isn't a glutton, but look at him. Big guy needs fuel. He can eat a normal amount and be fine, but could get himself kicked out of Golden Corral.
- Speaking of food. He eats everything with no reaction regardless of if he likes it or not. It looks like he's bored even if he's eating the rare good meal. Food is just something neutral, with cons to certain things. He prefers plainer flavors, but is immune to spice. Can drink an entire bottle of Tabasco sauce, Sriracha sauce, and a chile sauce with no expression. The blank stare and spice immunity aren't synth things, Curie and X6 are just the opposite.
Deacon:
- Takes long walks at night through settlements. Feels at peace in liminal spaces. The ruins of Boston and all the other destroyed cities don't have the same effect. Something about being the only one aware, living unnoticed in a place filled with people. It's lonely, but nothing gives the same clarity.
- Hates subway tunnels. Go on forever, too long to see what's at the end, something could be at any corner - they creep him out. If you still, you'll hear something. Machinery even when the place is inactive. Shuffling. Even stiller, might hear breathing echoing from way down a tunnel. Hates it to hell and back. Has to take a long smoke break if he has to go in one alone.
Hancock:
- Weird with kids. Likes them, but worries about himself. He isn't the...best example. He has no filter, they can tell something is wrong about him, and he just doesn't know how to act. They're just tiny humans, but there are rules. He doesn't want to accidently hurt them or inspire them to follow his screwed up footsteps.
- He doesn't care about what people think unless he cares. Some schmuck sneering at him when he pops a mentats? That guy's issue. Nick's frown? Curie's wide-eyed fretting? The way Cait's face goes soft and her eyes crinkle in sympathy?
...that matters.
He starts using less.
MacCready:
- Extravert. He needs his space, but hates being alone. Not having a support to fall back on is terrifying. The most anxious he'd ever been since Lucy died was his time alone in the Commonwealth. Sure, he had people, but not...not people of his own. Not a family. Leaving his boy was hard and being alone just as. Was often nauseous and prone to headaches until the SoSu.
- Hates the acknowledgement of intimate body parts in public. Hancock and Cait went on a tirade of sex jokes and he was just as, if not more, squeamish as the other prudes. While exploring a vault, a sex ed video came on the projector and he was red as a tomato for hours. It didn't help that he was standing in front of it and...well. You know what happens when you stand in front of projectors.
Goes all blushy when more adult talk comes up. Apparently Danse didn't know what m*sturbation was and that moment in that room nearly had him crawling out of his skin.
Nick:
- Has a little switch in his brain that decides if he's capable of math. One day he'll be a walking calculator, another he'll forget that 7 is more than 6. He was a weird math student. Did all the reading and none of the work, aced the tests. You put him under pressure and he'll crank out the craziest equations, but you ask him to multiply two 4 digit numbers and you can see a little blue swirl in his eye before he sighs and goes to fetch scratch paper. Being a good tester doesn't mean he's not a born theater kid.
- Coat pockets are portals to other dimensions. Has everything you need. Bobby pins? Check. Ammo? Check. Food rations? Clean water? Smokes? Check. A small statue of Cappy? A page from a magazine that was never released due to a MLM scam in the publishing company? Half a pair of sunglasses?
Sometimes puts random garbage in his pockets just to screw with Ellie. Other times, genuinely doesn't know where things come from. Once found a yao gui claw in his chest pocket. It's a good luck charm, but he never picked it up and no one could have slipped it in. Jokes about the coat being haunted, but only half joking.
Piper:
- Opposite to Nick, things go missing in her coat. Nick calls it "the washer" for some reason. She'll drop a pen in a pocket and never see it again. Double checks the pockets for holes and splits before heading out. Still loses things. Once lost a whole pistol.
But more interestingly. She lost a purple gel pen.
Week later, Nick pulls a purple gel pen out of his pocket.
Has a corkboard for the theories about the connection.
- Makes an amazing stew of yao gui, carrots, potatoes, stingwing honey, and various herbs. Its a family recipe that just isn't a normal stew, there's something different about it. When asked, will joke that it's human meat. Very few people realize she's joking. Either way, it has a flavor that sets it apart from other stews.
The secret?
There's a mutated form of garlic in the southeast part of the Commonwealth.
Only her family knows where it grows and what it looks like.
Preston:
- Not so much of a night owl as much as he just...doesn't have a steady circadian rhythm. You can find him in the kitchen at 1 pm asleep on the counter in the middle or awake at 1 am making a 3 tiered cake. Doesn't have an alarm clock. His sleeping pattern bothers even the poorest sleepers. Danse is visibly upset when he describes his schedule.
- His history of partners, both romantic and purely sexual, is crazy. He has the most interesting and horrifying stories. One girlfriend was convinced she was the reincarnated Mistress of Mystery. A boyfriend cheated on him with his step grandmother. He was once involved in a multi-person break up because apparently his boyfriend was in a poly relationship that went south on all fronts due to a chem deal's profits going missing as they were about to split the caps.
Don't ask about Marge.
Marge was...probably something he imagined during a fever.
X6:
- His pantries and fridge have nothing but junk food. He likes vegetables and fruit, but they take up valuable sugar space.
Once ate a giant, 200+ year expired cheesecake and puked for an hour. When Nick found out, popped a fuse. X was out of commission for...so long. Turns out he's lactose intolerant.
- Has been flirted with so many times. Each time, turned pink and lost all control of his words. He becomes a stuttering, cherry-cheeked mess at romantic interest. Not because he reciprocates, he just wasn't trained for it. There is no protocol for "Wanna come back to my place?"
Someone kissed his cheek and he actually ran and jumped out of a window to escape. Hancock has it on video and sometimes watches it to produce serotonin.
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((I think the most frustrating part of watching people analyze the actions of characters in vol8 is that the biggest complaint is that logic is thrown out the window and I would argue that’s the point. Especially because of the perspective of the show. I really hate to keep picking on Ironwood, Qrow, and RWBY, but those characters are the ones driving the plot, so I guess we gotta.
Lets start with RWBY. They’re kids first off. WBY are all about 19-20 years old and Ruby is 17. Lets start off by saying those are ages not exactly known for smart, long term decision making. Most people that age are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, struggling with college, dates, drinking, sex for the first time. They’re stumbling around in adult bodies while still having more or less the mind of a teenager because society has suddenly stopped treating them like a kid and expects them to be an adult. Except instead of having to struggle with decisions about their near future, RWBY is being asked to save the world. If you think you could handle that pressure well at 17-19, you’re lying.
Does it make their decisions right though? No. The way they treated Ozpin for hiding the worst of his abuse and the fact that his ex-wife was an insane bitch who is functionally immortal is wrong. But again, I ask you, could you handle having all that dumped into your lap in an already stressful situation? The person who should be (and rightly is) condemned for his reaction is Qrow for throwing a punch. No matter how upset you are no hitting. Once you throw a punch in that situation, you’re the bad guy. And until he makes an effort of an apology he’s the bad guy in that situation.
The biggest problem that team RWBY has is that all of their terrible decisions throughout the show have either been rewarded, or the got bailed out from having to see the real consequences.
Ozpin allowed Blake to hide her White Fang past and therefore missed the least subtle component of the Fall of Beacon. Things could have been significantly less bad if he’d known about their involvement and was able to send Qrow in to spy on their operations. Maybe he could have figured out what Roman or Adam was up to, realized they were working for Cinder and by extension Salem.
Ozpin allowed team RWBY to do a mission that was a couple grades too advanced for them because he knew they’d break the rules otherwise. That was a tacit acknowledgement that he thought whatever they were up to was alright, and that they had his blessings on whatever it was that they wanted to do.
The best example of terrible decision after terrible decision that RWBYJNR makes is Argus. They have no idea how they’re getting the Relic to Atlas, and they seem road blocked. Jaune suggests stealing an airship, and Qrow, the adult in the room tells them that this is a bad idea, and if it goes bad it has the potential to screw up their entire life. He’s right. The problem is that he’d run off on his bender, and therefore the kids, and we in the audience, are supposed to see this as an unreasonable suggestion.
However, it plays out as him being right. The incredibly complicated plan did go wrong. Now, they had no reason to suspect at the time that Adam was stalking Blake at the time (and I could go into why thats perfectly ic for him at another date), but there were a lot of moving parts in this plan and literally any of them could have broken. Everything that happened after they put this plan into motion was reactionary. Cordovan, obsessed with showing the Might of Atlas (TM), jumped into the mech suit. At that point, Ruby didnt really have a choice of not breaking it. But the ensuing fight created enough general unease that it summoned a Grimm hoard.
By rights, Argus should have fallen because of their bad decisions and in spire of their best efforts. Instead, Cordovan had a change of heart at the last moment and bailed them out.
This just reinforced the flawed idea that RWBY is always in the right and directly lead to s7′s climax. They are the unstoppable force.
Now you have Ironwood, quite literally the unmovable object, which I now realize is sort of his name. Ha.
Ironwood’s behavior does not come out of nowhere. Since his appearance, he’s had problem stamped all over him. He showed up with an entire goddamn army to a supposedly peaceful event that is to promote unity and the excellence of each kingdom. His rationale is that the people are going to be impressed with his big guns and feel safe. Ozpin gently points out that those big guns also signal to people that there is something out there that those big guns are designed to shoot.
If its not a Grimm, could it mean that Atlas intends to shoot people?
Remember we’re not even 100 years out from the last World War, one that was basically started by Atlas. People are nervous. There are still grandparents and great grandparents alive today that were kids when the Great War was happening. Not only that but we’re also made aware that Atlas has rolled in the apolitical protectors of the people, the Huntsmen, into its military. This elite fighting force that is basically above the law and can go to any country in the world whenever they want, is now part of the military. The ONLY standing military that Remnant seems to have.
All of this has obviously caused friction in the Inner Circle. Qrow is not quite and never has been quiet about his disdain for James’ heavy handed techniques. Glynda calls James’ actions a dick measuring competition, and Ozpin was trying to be gentle about it, but he was clearly telling Ironwood to get his army off his fucking front lawn. And what did Ironwood do? He’d gone around Ozpin and talked to the Vale council. They were threatening to remove Oz fro his position because they agreed with Ironwood: he was being too passive. Ironwood even tells Glynda that he cant believe that a man he trusted for so long would just sit by and stand to the side instead of meeting the problem head on. He didnt seem to understand why Qrow would want to go gather intelligence on an operation before sending in the big guns.
Ironwood has never been a man to put a well thought out plan with all his ducks in a row into motion. This is a man who plows through opposition at every opportunity.
And when we see him again, we can see him steamrolling through opposition again. Somehow he got himself two seats on the council. That gives him an enormous amount of power. And his position as general means that at any point he can declare an emergency and become the de facto dictator of Atlas if he deems it fit. The problem is that he’s having these arguments against Jacques Schnee a man that the audience rightly hates, so he seems reasonable. Who gives a fuck about Jacques loosing business, he’s a dickhead. We’re not noticing the fact that James is consolidating power, or that he’s using that power to make unilateral decisions with no one telling him no.
There’s no one left in the room who is able or willing to tell him that these are bad ideas, that there will be consequences that he cant foresee. His bullish behavior lead to both Robyn Hill and Jacques Schnee running for an empty council seat, and that created the environment that we walked into in s7.
Now, not all James’ ideas are bad. The Amity Project is actually a really good one, and James is right in wanting to keep it from the general public until its near completion. But you know who should have known? The other fucking council members. Probably the candidates. Playing your cards too close to the chest when you clearly need help and allies is a bad thing. But again, James didnt even trust Ozpin to be able to run his own kingdom, so durr hurr of course he’s the only one who can take care of Amity. And run a kingdom. And run an academy. And protect an ageing, ailing Maiden. And of course he doesnt have time to treat his horrific PTSD from the Fall of Beacon.
So when things go tits up because again, of course they will with a plan that complex James Ironwood doubles the fuck down on his terrible solo decision making. Clearly, non of this is his fault. No one is listening to him. He cannot trust others to make decisions so he’s going to make all of them. There’s no one around him to tell him no, especially because the first person that tried was publicly executed.
James is scared. He’s had a mental break because of that fear. His paranoia, his PTSD, and the fact that there’s nothing there to help him back to stability means that he’s just going to be bouncing from one terrible choice to the next. He’s Hamlet in the throes of paranoia, heading down a road that is going to get everyone, including himself killed. He is King Lear as the world crumbles around him, acting cruel and making unreasonable, horrible demands of those around him.
Working with Watts seems like an absolutely terrible idea, but to someone who thinks that he is in control of the situation because he has to be in order to keep functioning, there’s no way that this can bite him in the ass. For James, if no one is willing to follow his orders, he’s going to make them. This attitude is probably exactly why Watts did what he did and joined Salem in the first place.
So when you combine the unstoppable force of Team RWBY, who’s been told they’re the child saviors of the world, and who’ve been either rewarded or bailed out of their bad decisions against the immovable object of Ironwood and his absolute conviction in himself, you have the mess Atlas is in now.
Honestly I find it kind of brilliant.
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A Vegeta x OC Fanfiction (part 3)¤ ¤ ¤
Many things ran through her mind and all she could think was, abit of excitement! Something to prove herself and show her worth, that shes not just some pretty piece to hang onto the emperor's arm, she pushes the button on the wall and the door to the Saiyan chambers and comes face to face with Nappa out of his armor. “Calamatta! Was just wondering why it took you so long to get back!” He smiled down at her and rubbed his hand over his bald scalp.
The sliding door shut and they both walked side by side in tandem, Calamatta walked abit faster to keep pace with Nappa. “Did Vegeta tell you about the mission?” “Briefly! He didnt look too happy about it.. What gives.” She gets to her room and she sighs a bit anticipatory for this month long excursion made extermination mission.
“Vegeta and I are to go to this one super planet… to completely wipe within a month but its just the both of us.” Nappa blinks and shakes his head Raising his eyebrow his eyebrow looking down at the small Saiyan. “Are you serious? Dont get me wrong your great at conquering planets entirely, but… what happens if you dont.” Calamatta looks away from Nappa and her tail deflates to the floor. “I...Dont know..” She answers. At the end of the day, Saiyan or not shes terrified of what could happen, the last thing she wants is to have everything come crashing down all because of her.
Nappa stood up straight and pat her on the shoulder and startled her straight out of her stupor, grinning. “hey now! Where's that pride you had in you earlier!? Dont you get down on yourself now that your life's on the line!" She gawped at him and shook her head. "What do you-" "What i mean is when you start facing something dire, you gotta pull your head out of your ass and charge forward!!" He bellows to her, Raditz shuffled over to her and pat her shoulder. Both of them looking down upon her. "Listen to Nappa. Hes got experience on all of us.. and you're a killer. Youll realize that when you get to To-Rot."
Calamatta nodded and smiled hopefully for the first time in a while. Actual hope. Actual excitement! "Thank you Nappa." "AHEM" Calamatta rolled her eyes and punched Raditz in the arm. "Yea yea thank you too Raditz…" she turned and went into her room, holding her suit up she twitched and groaned. "Your fucking with me…" her tail deflated to thw floor.
She put the suit on and goddamn did she think of herself as some kind of joke, she knows she's shapely but this is egregious. A form fitting blue bodysuit bikini type briefs and short sleeves to her elbow, the new armor covered her chest in a more shapely manner than the men. She rolled her eyes shamelessly, checked herself out in the mirror and pulled up her boots and jumped upon hearing hard pounding on the door. "Calamatta? You decent?"
It was Vegeta
"I mean yea." The door slid open and he was focused on the holopad in his hand to notice what she looked like "dinner is ready. Get out of your room and ……." He had to do a double take and it kinda made her sneer "its the… new suit Lord Frieza wants me to wear." He made a disgusted face and turned his head "W-whatever just come out so we can eat and you can turn in…" he turned fully and the prince blushed a tiny bit.
Calamatta followed side by side with him and he kept with all his might to keep his eyes forward. "A-are you serious.. they made you wear th-" "yeap.. trust me it's uncomfortable to walk around in." she kept her eyes forward heading to the table with Nappa and Raditz who both simultaneously dropped their food. "Nice costume change! You can see those killer legs!" Nappa barked, bringing alittle attention to the small Saiyan and making her face red as hell. "Nappa, i'm pretty sure she wants to be wall paper at this point." Raditz kicked his shin and pushed a plate over to her. "Eat up, Cala.." she groaned.
They spent their time sitting together all eating except Cala who earned some hoots and hollers. A degrading damn get up for a saiyan who wants to be seen for more then yarm candy to the fucking emperor.. her respect for him has dindled to 0 but she has to cater to him till the 20 hours are up.. she dejectedly pushes the rest of her food away "i cant eat anymore." She sat up and realized theres a chair flush against her back "no your gonna eat.." Raditz protests as he nudges her shoulder.. a big brother figure to the little saiyan.. she felt more comfortable near him, no matter how big a jackass he is. "No damn saiyan is going hungry because of whay they have to wear." He glares at her, and smirks.
Vegeta looks at her and leans back. "We will walk back with you to ensure you dont get any seedy looks." "Dontcha think thats pathetic" she said between bites. "Nonsense.. as the last woman of our kind you deserve alittle respect." Raditz protested, earning a curt nod from both Nappa and Vegeta.
Her mini family is small, its made up of men. But it's all she's got and she's got a hefty amount of respect for them all.
The four walked in tandem with one another Raditz and Calamatta leading the way and Nappa and Vegeta following.
"So does being a daughter of a general give you a leg up?" Raditz asked, tucking his hands behind his head, Calamatta walked with her hands folded in front of her, peering over at the tall long haired Saiyan. “I mean. Not entirely, same sort of treatment as everyone else here actually! Im just something pretty to gawk at while Lord Frieza does what he needs to.” Vegeta pipes up keeping his voice dead flat as he makes his point known. “If any race sees Frieza with a Saiyan at his side they’ll perceive him as a threat. Why do you think he has her within arms reach.. A warrior race reduced to a pet and something to look at is insulting but i cant necessarily blame her for not going after him.” He flippantly rolls his eyes. “I suppose your right… Calamatta is basically the next best thing to Vegeta.” “Hey now i'm not that great… i only went out once with yall.” She nudges Raditz and rolls her eyes.
The 4 were stopped in their tracks when Zarbon cut a corner and met with them, promptly making the tension between the four starkly apparent. “So apes travel in packs now? Hmhm.. Calamatta. Come. I wish to speak with you please.” The tall reptilian walked in the opposite direction of the saiyans, shoulder checking the Saiyan prince causing the vein in his forehead become more prominent, he crossed his arms and scoffed, raising his chin and moving forward. “Well go follow the vain bastard…” Vegeta growls and marches away. Calamatta turned on her heels and ran to catch up to him.
Zarbon had his hands behind his back beneath his cape, he chuckled upon seeing the short saiyan besides him. “Took you long enough, Calamatta.” “What is it you wanted to speak with me about Zarbon?” He ushers her into a room overlooking a massive planet, ripe with lush greenery and red deserts. “Thats the planet you and Vegeta are set to conquer. It has a high population density of 4 billion. What that document that Vegetas been analyzing doesnt mention the fact that the planet experiences a full moon every other day. The inhabitants will attack on sight… i should know weve sent 15 other squads before you and Vegeta.” Calamatta gawked at the planet then up to Zarbon. “Why are we just being sent then?” “I asked the same to Lord Frieza… He said he sees the prince of nothing as an excellent protege and this will prove Frieza right if one or the both of you return in one whole piece.” Calamatta looked over the two multi colored belts in the distance.. One bright white and the other red, absolutely magnificent and terrifying in retrospect. The magnitude of this entire planet was bigger then shes ever seen before.
While she was busy being thunderstruck she was caught off guard by a weighted cloth on her shoulder. Becoming strapped to her one shoulder followed by Zarbon cooing. “Its a shame Dodoria doesn't really like your acquaintance. You'd be beautiful as a General.” It caught her off guard as he adjusted it perfectly to her armor, the end of his long velvety cape dragged haphazardly on the floor.
“Dodoria… i never understood why he never liked me...what about you Zarbon? You have been so kind to me for years and you really don't have to be.” The green haired general tilted his head and sighed as he took two hair bands from his wrist and walked behind Calamatta and started to pull her hair back. “You're just a kid. You'll never understand the position Dodoria is in. He wants to be the general in the spotlight instead of you.”
Calamatta remained silent and allowed him to pull her hair into two large buns on her head, he pulled any fly aways out and reviewed her facial features in the reflective window. “I honestly could give a damn one way or another but on account of why I like you is purely because you're not like the rest of your ape-ish race.. You're pretty, you have a defined face and you have a way of carrying yourself with grace and poise… the amount of times i have heard other alien councils talk about how attractive you are adds to Lord Frieza's intimidation factor..A beautiful little warrior on his arm is a display of power... So yes he prefers you much more highly then the likes of Dodoria.” He pats her shoulders and she looks back at herself. She never puts her hair up so this is something new.
Two large pretty black buns on her head, loose fly aways of her hair make her look effortless, she could actually see her gold piercings on her ears. “You have plenty of hair so i couldnt put it all in one hair tie…” The hatch door to the side slid open, the two of them turn to see Lord Frieza seated in his chair, a small smile grew on his face as he saw Calamatta all dolled up.
“Well WELL my little monkey is playing dress up! OHohohohooo stunning.” Calamatta goes to disrobe the cape and is promptly stopped by Zarbon. “Keep it Calamatta. It suits you. Farewell.” He turns on his heel and saunters out of the room leaving her and the Emperor in this room. She bows respectfully to him, when she raises back up Frieza is out of his chair, tail fluttering around with his arms behind his back.
Calamatta gulped while Frieza analyzed her up close; both her and the emperor are easily the same height but the Saiyan knew her place to him. Behave and dont die. “I want you to take a good look at that planet right there. Realize that you and Vegeta are my star pupil...and that being the star pupil means that one of you two simians is the best!” He preens and moves the cape to see her hands held at her front, he smirks devilishly and tilts his head.
“That suit looks very nice on you, powerful shapely little legs for a warrior..” He raises his hand and makes a fist to emphasize the word power. Calamatta remains quiet and blushes alittle bit. “Thank you, Lord Frieza.. What exactly do you mean by the best..? I only helped out with one planet!” She stated only to be met with the steely flat stare of Frieza.
“What im saying is that i expect you to listen to what i say, woman…” She nodded obediently and her tail droops abit. “Yes Lord Frieza sorry..-” She was cut off almost instantly “Hush now Calamatta if you know whats good for you.” He states making little calamatta bite on her lips.
“Good.. Both of you are excellent but just so you know so you dont get a big head about it… Vegeta is the better of the two of you.. By lightyears infact.. I suspect that Zarbon told you that I plan on making Vegeta my protégé, I dont expect you to be any better than what you already are, your prince would possibly say the same of you… your untrained and unskilled in anything and i'm surprised you even came back alive and without a scratch, girl. The three other apes were to see you as useless and not want you anymore… not want you apart of their damned group.”
Calamatta looked upon Frieza disheartened, her stomach dropped to her feet and she felt like nothing, like her purpose was to be nothing more then a pretty face and nothing more, living a hollow existence. SHe felt ultimately like nothing. She twiddled her thumbs infront of her and drooped her head abit.
“Oh now now Calamatta.. No need to look so sad.. I'm just speaking the truth to you, child… Here i know a way of earning your trust. Give me your tail.” Her head shot up and she gulped. “My-my tail?” She shivered and let her long pretty fully groomed tail come from behind her back and with trepidation she handed her most sensitive-untrained limb- to Frieza.
"You stupid little runt…" The Emperor smirked and narrowed his eyes closing his fist tightly around the tail sending Calamatta to the floor with a pained cry and a beg. “L-Let it go please! Frieza please!!” SHe begged him feeling this hot pain rocket up her back as she looked at the emperors feet through pained tears.
Her head raised to be met with the end of Frieza’s pointer finger inches from her nose. "The prodigal prince is no where to be seen to protect you now.. oh woe is you.." The very one that death beams people without care. She panted heavily, started to sweat and tear up “W-Why I dont understa-”
Frieza’s voice became dark and grave, she feared Frieza but this was a side of him she had never seen first hand and to be directed at her. “Your life though as entertaining as it is.. Is forfeit to me. You only serve your worth as useful until I become bored of you and when I do you will die by my hand. You will come to realize that on To-Rot your life is just as forfeit to Vegeta as it is to me… Vegeta works alone, I know him better than anyone here, Calamatta. You will discover that when your need is used up and you're on the ground begging for help… he will gladly leave you to die… tragic isn't it…? To be worthless to everyone including your own races Prince…”
He furrowed his brow and stared her sadistically in her face and chuckled upon seeing a single tear. “I dont expect you to return after your little trip… should you return you can go with your little mates so they can ravage you.” He growled and released her tail making her tail disappear under the cape, she gasps and scrambles to her feet. “You are excused, Calamatta. Sleep well!” He turned on his lizard-like feet and left to his hoverpod. Leaving Calamatta frightened, depressed… and worthless.
She just wanted to go to bed. She just wanted to stop caring. She just wanted to feel like a Saiyan.
The day had drawn to a close and the 4 waved eachother off to wish each other a good night, Vegeta said nothing and returned to his room. The small saiyan lay down in her bed and fell asleep very quickly, a deep peaceful and relaxing sleep to ease her tense and tight muscles and weary emotional state.
5 hours later Vegeta opened her room door and walked right in like he belonged there. the prince being deep in thought and not really in any mood to fully wake Calamatta up. He sat at the end of her bed and looked through acouple files. That being the inhabitants of To-Rot.
An insatiably hungry and carnivorous race that wiped the original inhabitants of the planet by the guise of an infection which then grew into hunger then a form or zombified state where food is the only primary objective, while still maintaining full sentience they scour the planet for new victims to eat or to find other like minded groups and repopulate. Vegeta sneered and twitched at the sight.. both he and Calamatta wont be the first of the Frieza Force to go there, and meet an untimely demise. "Dammit.." he grunts and the female saiyan begins to stir sitting up in bed to see the spikey haired prince hunched over with his chin in his hand at the foot of rhe bed.
"Hm…? Vegeta.. what gives?" She yawned and gently kicked the princes back with her bare feet. "Read this.. brush up on what were going to face.. its not going to be easy. Especially with me doing all the heavy lifting." He growls and hands her the holo pad. "Hey.. i'm just as capable as you dont give me that crap when i just wake up, Vegeta..." "im not 'giving you crap' i'm being realistic and percautionary. The planet before hand wasn't that hard. This ones lethal and were not the firsts to go here" she pulls her tail under the covers of her blanket and rubs her eyes. Still very in a daze of sleep. "If you are tryna scare me im not scared. Well be fine and well do this planet and ill be with the 3 of yall." She reads over the holopad.
Feeling a sense of dread and nervousness bubble up in her stomach. "Dont pass that arrogance around so easily… its not just YOUR neck on the line here its mine. And i'm not willing to die because you end up being cocky." "Can you lighten up? Your the one that came into my room and looked pretty comfy at the end of my bed." She retorts to the prince who looks mighty taken aback by the implication hes looking comfy around her.
"Gah! Quit with your nonsensical babbling and take this seriously! Ugh.. just read that over.. ill be in my room. Ill see you in 5 hours, i need my sleep too." He goes to the door. "Vegeta, you haven't slept yet?" He stops before the button, confused as to what's with the change in tone, he turns his head and looks at her through his bangs that still hung in his face. "Please.. sleep for like.. a little longer than that. Ok? I need you as much as you need me" she asked and smiled softly, pressing her hand to her chest.
Vegeta scoffed and blushed from nose to the tips of his ears "worry about yourself, woman… go to sleep" the begrudging prince leaves and Cala smirks. Laying back and looking at the ceiling and sighing a tear ran down her cheek and she grit her teeth hard.
“Atleast he pretends to give a damn…” Calamatta sighed wearily. CUrling in on herself and letting herself fall back into her slumber.
¤ ¤ ¤
Tags: @memevember @dragonblobz @gonuclear @msgreenverse @fallen--lilith @jimbobslurpnchug @dragonballzforlife @nikabriefs @lilhemmo @lizardhipsdontlie @hierophantblue @supremeleadershitlord @thotful-writing @chickiedinner @anti-jaina @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit
#A Planet To Conquer Fic#Vegeta#Frieza#Calamatta~#Nappa#Raditz#intimidation tw#threats tw#depression tw#this part made me question my sanity#dbz fanfiction
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What Im thinking about today: BNHA n stigmatization of psychology.
The thing is, we as humans are very ready to help each other (most of the time). Thats why we try to rehabilitate prisoners, thats why we volunteer, thats why proffesions such as doctors, social workers and psychologists etc exist. I think we talked here before how most villains in the series havent been failed by heroes, they've been failed by societal safety nets that were meant to catch ppl like them, just like social workers try to catch endangered kids and psychologists try to catch people with mental problems.
Now i study psychology so ill concentrate on that. Obviously it depends from place to place but mental care is still very often looked down upon as 'something for crazy people.' I have personal expirience with that as when i suggested to my dad that maybe he should look into a psychologist too (after my brother started going to one) cuz he has some issues that he could use a hand dealing with, his response was 'what? But im not crazy'. I study psychology and he still often makes jokes about me treating crazy people in the future. I interviewd a school psychologist for a class and she told us that one of the first things she has to do in a school is get students to relax and feel comfortable coming to her with problems cuz there is a very clear stigma in everyones mind that asking for help with your mental problems is something bad, something wrong, something that means you are crazy, wierd, other and people do fear that stigmatization. Going to a psychologist doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you are having problems that you cant deal with on your own and that you need proffesional help with. Nothing more, nothing less. Those problems can be depression or they can be helping you to deal with lingering emotions from your divorce. Big or small, psychology is simply there to give you support and tools you need to feel good again. You wouldnt stigmatize someone for going to the doctor for a soar throat or cancer so you shouldnt stigmatize someone seeking p much the same help for mental illness.
But people still do because things ingrained in society are very very hard to uproot and things are going for the better with every generation but its a painfully slow process and there is no telling how many people fall through that net because they dont seek help when they still can because they think 'im not crazy im not gonna go to those mumbo junbo psychologist that mess with your head' which is very much like going 'im not gonna go to a doctor for my infected wound, they would mess with my body'. Untreated infections spread and get worse and people fall through.
This is what leads me back to bnha. We dont know exactly how long the world of quirks existed, i think i saw a post breaking it down to be for about 100-300 years but for the life of me i cant remember. We know its not terribly long. 100 years may seem long until you remember a single human can live to 100 years old. Now my question is, if a science such as psychology that has been present since like ancient greeks n egypt n stuff can still be stigmatized.
How accepted would quirk counseling be?
Lets not forget that quirks were heavily discriminated against in the begining, treated as monsterous and the other and the acceptence of them is still something fresh and more extreme mutations still face hate groups. Like its completly canon that there are people alive now in bnha whos parents or grandparents faced discrimination or died because of quirk discrimination (cough redestro cough).
Imagine being Togas parents.
Your child displays a quirk like that. You still have in memory your parent or grandparent who was discriminated and monsterized because of a similar quirk. Quirk counceling exists but why should you take your daughter there. Shes not a monster, this isnt something you should get someone else involved with, its a family matter and what do those counselors know anyway, they will treat your daughter as a monster and make everything worse. You can handle this yourself, you can teach her to supress it. Shes not a monster.
The wound festers.
This especially goes hard for japan whos big on the keeping things in the family aspect and not discracing the family. The stigma is still fresh in the memory and you dont want to be that family whos kid goes to quirk counseling. You shut the doors, you shut the windows, you deal with it within the family.
I think that while quirk counseling exists in bnha, it would most likely be seen as something thats shameful to atend, a admitance that you dont have control over your own quirk. Your friends might say 'what the fuck man why are you going there, you arent a monster' even if a quirk that has negative effects should be treated as shortsighted eyes that need glasses. Just because it doesnt function well, doesnt mean its bad. But well stigmatization of disabled is a whole nother thing our society also has problems with and that also connects to bnha (cough aoyama cough). I think thats why its so easy for people in bnha to fall through those safety nets. I do belive they exist but they are new, probably not the most super effective as most new things tend to be and are probably looked down upon.
And hate to break it to shiggy and the crew but thats the kind of a problem that can only be fixed my longterm education and normalization of asking for help rather then burning the systhem to the ground.
I hope that made sense i always get a little loopy with my points when i write a long one fgdgff
No, it makes sense.
Mental health is still stigmatized everywhere, even here in the UK where we’re supposed to have some of the best health care available (which is debatable). To bring something a little personal into this, my flatmates and I were playing a guessing game where I had to describe a word with other descriptions being taboo (in my case it was headache) and as my flatmates know I suffer from chronic headaches, I said as a clue that it was something I get often. Well, a flatmate who was a little tipsy at the time who knows about my depression shouted depression to my other shocked flatmates (I didn’t mind, in fact I found it hilarious). But after we had all calmed down, one of my flatmates said something that stuck with me: “Maybe you shouldn’t overshare things”.
Now, I don’t see telling people I have depression as something I’m oversharing. It’s not private, it’s a mental health condition I suffer from that can kill me if it goes unchecked (before starting medication again, I was very suicidal). In fact, it benefits both me and my flatmates to know that I have depression just in case. And yet it was viewed as something that I was “oversharing”.
This attitude has only arisen because people treat mental health as something that is shameful and should only be known among family members. In fact, I had no clue that DASS (a disability service in uni) was actually also for mental health issues because we’ve been raised with people treating mental health as something “in our heads” and so isn’t as important as physical disabilities, it was only until my uni pointed out that it was there for every condition, physical and mental.
The point I’m making is that I can totally see mental health in BNHA be treated as a shameful secret. Japan doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to mental health anyway (don’t they have some of the highest suicide rates?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if the BNHA universe is the same. In fact, the only mental health issues we’ve seen in BNHA currently are the extreme examples of it such as Twice and Dabi’s mania.
I would love to see Horikoshi delve a little more into quirk counselling and the potential stigma behind it. I know it’s been brought up once or twice (UA treats it as something normal but as teachers who see mental health issues all the time, it’s no wonder that they do) but not enough in my opinion when it’s probably one of the most important stop gaps between making villains.
I don’t have much hope, admittedly, but it would be something fun to explore in fanon too!
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mental health#mental health discussion#personal#thanks for the ask!!#thegaygyrus
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Present Mic Headcanons (LONG)
So it is Present Mic's Bday so yeah. I figured let's chat about some headcanons for my Favorite Deaf since childhood character. (In my opinion.) These could also be considered a little bit sad. Okay. Some are definitely sad. But tragic backstory. That is how it goes.
So maybe he was born Deaf (because his body was already protecting him from his quirk)
Maybe he wasn't
Regardless it wouldnt have mattered because the moment he was born he screamed just like every other baby in existence does.
The doctors, attending nurses, parents, all Deafened almost immediately or had severe damage to their ears.
I like to believe that Hizashi is actually part of a set of twins. A little girl was born first and his big sister is also Deafened by the blast.
His birth parents immediately give him up.
He is placed in a sound proof room and it takes a lot to convince nurses to go in and tend to the screaming baby who is cold and alone.
Social services is called in and they know they need to do an emergency placement immediately.
They succeed finding a profoundly Deaf couple who already can't hear anything to adopt this little boy. Hearing tests show that the baby is already pretty Deaf. The doctors apologize to the new parents who are not impressed with that at all and go off on the doctor saying being Deaf isnt something to apologize for. It is a wonderful and different worldview.
Hizashi gets to grow up with two loving Deaf parents who immerse him in the world of Sign language and Deaf culture. He bangs on the dinner table for attention. Shouts and jumps and waves his hands. Struggles with the concept of personal space. Deaf people may not hear, but they are not quiet.
However social services stays involved. A quirk like that is dangerous so they want it to be monitored closely. The parents don't really want to force Hizashi to goto speech therapy or force him to wear hearing aids but social services requires it potentially even taking them to court to mandate it for the child's care. So there he is at a very young age receiving his first hearing aids.
The parents are not thrilled but support Hizashi anyway. They want him to have the best possible life he can and they know that forcing him into the hearing world is not the way to go. Hizashi is startled by the new noises and responds to them as you often see in the Deaf child gets hearing aids videos. Oh yes so sweet or something. (Those videos are super harmful for Deaf community. Not related and a discussion for another time.)
Hizashi and his parents return home where he promptly flushes them down the toilet because he hates them. (Super common for young Deaf kids.)
Thus comes several years of him destroying or losing various sets of hearing aids. He doesnt know how expensive they are and his parents are not paying for them because it is the government requiring he have them for quirk control.
One day when he is maybe 6 or 7 he hears music for the first time properly. It is a new and better set of hearing aids, they are walking through some festival and bam, there it is, someone playing a guitar or something. He pretty quickly falls in love with it.
He doesnt expect his parents to support him, but they do. They are just as enthusiastic for him to become involved with music as he is. As long as it is what he wants and not something that is being forced on him. They can feel the bass vibrations and enjoy music. He ends up with several instruments, they can't afford the lessons but he learns online but never shows anyone.
He is a genius child. He learns how to arrange light shows to go with his music.
When he enters school he is put into the Deaf Ed program with the rest of the Deaf kids. Still immersed in Sign language. Since he learned Sign first, japanese as a second language comes decently easy to him and he learns to read quickly. He starts to actually listen during his court mandated Speech therapy though he doesn't talk.
He has a quirk accident as a child. Of course he does. All children do. But his accident shatters windows at the school. He doesn't mean to but he struggles with volume control though. Doesnt understand it is something he really needs to work on or monitor.
Of course they start requiring that he go to quirk training outside of school. A specialist is required for these things they say.
His parents are reluctant but have to do as told in order to be allowed to keep him.
He hates the quirk training. He is learning to listen to and understand spoken word now though he never speaks. He can also lip read a decent amount because of all of the therapy which focus's on oral. Even though that isnt the correct path. Hearing people often think that it is. But he understands. Understands they are calling his quirk evil, dangerous, perfect for a villian. But he trains, he tries. From then on he only uses his voice during his mandated quirk training sessions.
He doesn't speak, he doesn't hum. He is doing his best to stay on behavior. It stays like this for years. Of course he occasionally has accidents. One time out with his Dwaf friends he laughs too loud, some bystanders ear starts to bleed. The bystander calls the police.
This is the first time that Hizashi gets arrested. He is just a child but he and the police do not understand each other they think he is resisting arrest, hisashi doesnt understand why they are there. It goes on his juvenile record as unauthorized quirk use in public. He doesn't laugh again. Not for a long time.
He has a few more incidents like that and he is not thrilled but learns to be perfectly quiet. No noise at all.
But he is still a happy child. A bright child. He knows he can control his quirk and just live his life the way he wants to and he will. He is a natural talent with music though he never sings.
His family isn't rich, but they have the basic additions. His parents have a hearing dog, they have flashing doorbells and vibrating alarms. Flashing fire alarms. All of the standard equipment that is considered typical to living a Deaf life.
But they do not have a Deaf intruder Alarm.
One night a villian decides they are easy targets. Hizashi isn't home. He is at a friends house. His parents die that night.
This changes many things in Hizashi's life.
He goes back into the system. No one wants him when they learn about his unique difficulties. His record and his quirk. The fact that he is Deaf. But none of that matters he has made a decision. He will become a hero. And he will find the person who murdered his parents and make sure they never hurt anyone else.
A few months later social services finds a foster family willing to host Hizashi. The house father is not a kind man. When Hizashi arrives he gives Hizashi a list of rules to follow. No quirk use, no speaking. Among others. Hizashi moves from his old school and loses his friends. His foster father puts him into hearing mainstreamed classes.
Things are much more difficult for him now. But he will survive. He starts studying to get into UA. He works harder at his mandated training. It would give him an edge over the others.
He cries out in his sleep one night. Nightmares from traumatic experiences.
His foster father has a special muzzle made. When he enters the home he wears it until he leaves instructed to eat breakfast on the way to school and dinner in the backyard away from the other house kids.
He grows to hate people like this. A darkness festering in his soul. A delicate balance between two paths he could fall down.
He studies technology too. Experiments with creating things when he can. His is paranoid. He doesnt want to be caught off gaurd like his parents so he wants to create a flashing alert for his door and windows. He is sure some are already out there but he no longer has access to these things.
At 14 he starts to speak. Not at home, not at school. But at his required speech therapy. To the surprise of all he speaks perfectly. No accent, no lagging, perfect volume control, and perfect speech. He is just as surprised as everyone else. A quirk specialist decides it is a part of his quirk. His quirk being Voice, it seems to override some of the effects of being Deaf.
Hizashi is pleased because he knows this gives him an easier path to the world of hero's. Having to overcome the barrier of speech issues would have been difficult. He doesn't speak often.
Depression settles in. But he has a goal. He moves forward. He applies for UA for the scholarship program. On the day of the test he wipes the floor with his opponents. No one knows how to handle his quirk. He makes it in easily.
He decides then and there that he will change everything. He will be happy and bright and like he was as a child. For his parents. And he is. He finds himself melding more into the hearing world. He has to.
He creates his own combat hearing aids, out of a set of headphones and some old hearing aid parts. Not perfect but progress. He does such a good job he is allowed into the support work shop and soon has a much better set. He keeps the first pair forever though.
When he meets Shouta, the other child doesnt care about his hearing aids. Or about much at all. Hizashi learns that Shouta knew a Deaf girl at his school back in middle school. Shouta knows basic signs but never bothered to really talk to her either.
Hizashi is still thrilled. By the time they graduate Shouta is reluctantly good at it.
Hizashi never looks back to his foster family once he moves out. He goes on to do wonderful things in the hero community. He uses his radio show as a platform for children in the foster system and children with disabilities. He never wants anyone to feel the way he did.
He eventually tells Shouta about his parents. Shouta just let's him talk. Hizashi needs it. But Hizashi is happy now, there is still a darkness in his soul, something that pulls tight if he gets to angry. A flash of the villian he could be. But being with Shouta tends to keep it at bay.
It isnt until years after they graduate, in their early twenties after college, that Shouta looks at Hizashi, who has grown his hair out. Hizashi is laughing with Nemuri and tosses his longer hair over his shoulder. Shouta realizes that this man looks almost identical to the girl he went to middle school with.
Shouta tracks her down out of curiosity. After some finagling he learns that this girl is indeed Hizashi's twin. He eventually tells Hizashi. Hizashi reunites with his twin sister and develops a bond that will never break with her. It will take many more years before he finds the will to speak with his borth parents. He doesnt know if he will be angry or not. It doesnt matter either. Because the Deaf couple that adopted him, and loved him, had been his parents and no one could replace them.
He lives happily with what he has built for himself. Bouncing between the Deaf and hearing communities. He builds hearing aids and other aids for underprivileged Deaf families and children. He creates his own line of alarms connected to video feeds. His house is always armed to the max. But it isnt so bad once he marries Shouta, able to trust him to hear intruders as well. Though the man sleeps like the dead so he never stops using the alarm system anyway.
Eventually he meets another boy with a voice quirk, shunned for his abilities and with a darkness brewing in his soul.
So of course he keeps that boy. He had been adopted after all, so adopting isnt a difficult decision.
#deaf-bakugou#deaf my hero academia#deaf hizashi#deaf present mic#deaf#deaf culture#adoption#murder warning#shouta aizawa#hizashi yamada#aizawa shouta#yamada hizashi#shinsou hitoshi#child abuse
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Power Outage
word count: 1098
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” David groans as his entire house goes dark.
“Power’s out.” I comment.
“How am I supposed to be able to upload now?” He asks, gesturing to his laptop, showing the paused upload bar. “It’s going to be so late now.”
“The fans will understand. It’s late anyway, let’s go to bed and then when we get up we can try again.” I grab his hand and pull him up off the couch. I practically have to drag him to his bedroom to get him to sleep.
“I’m setting an alarm for two hours.” David states.
“That’s fine, for now just go to sleep. It’s already four.”
I climb into bed next to him. The two hours go by way faster than I thought they would. I feel him get back in bed with me after being gone only a minute.
“Still out?” I ask without peeking my eyes open. I hope that if I don’t actually open them I’ll be able to fall back asleep.
“Yup.” He wraps his arm around my waist and crashes right back into a deep sleep. He doesn’t seem as bothered now by the late upload.
David keeps playing this game of setting a timer to check on the power. Eventually it’s eleven in the morning and we actually get up.
“The power has to be back up by now, it’s never out this long.” I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and I walk over to the light switch. We’re both disappointed when I flip the switch and nothing happens. The only light in the room is coming from the window.
“So what do you want to do?” I ask, I meet him on the couch with a bowl of cereal in each hand. He takes one from my hand and starts devouring it. We have to use the milk up anyway before it goes bad in the fridge.
“I just made a video for instagram explaining the late upload.” He shovels in another bite.
“What if we left? There has to be power somewhere else in the city.” I attempt to come up with an idea.
“The gate won’t open.” David answers.
“Wait, what?” I ask, shocked.
“It’s an electric gate. We can’t get it open. We’re stuck here.”
I grab my phone to look up what's going on. It turns out that there is a city wide blackout. There was an overage which caused a shortage. This leaves Los Angeles without power until further notice.
“So, what should we do with our powerless day?” I ask, I reach a hand out and run a hand through his hair. He leans into my touch and I smile.
“Let’s go outside, it looks nice out.”
We stay outside for a while. We sit and talk, juggle a soccer ball back and forth, work on our tans for a while. After a few hours we come inside and snack on food. Still no sign of power.
“My phone just died.” He says sadly.
“Now what can we do?” I ask, looking around bored.
“Pool?” He asks, already walking over to the pool table. He starts racking them up so I join him.
“I don’t really know how to play.”
“What? How is that possible?” He’s obviously shocked.
“I’ve played a few times, I guess. It’s been a long time.”
“Well, I’ll just have to teach you.” David smirks, “You’re lucky you have an amazing teacher.”
He lets me start and I end up with solids and he has stripes. He gives me pointers, even with his help he’s still kicking my ass. Once he finally gets the eight ball in, claiming victory, he comes to my side to help me.
“Here, I’ll help you so next time it’s more of a fight.” He teases.
“Hey!” I nudge him.
“Okay, here.” He wraps his arms around me to guide me through the motions. With his help I manage to sink the rest of my remaining balls in the pockets.
“Wanna play again?” He asks, already getting the table ready for another game.
“I have something else in mind.” This time it’s my turn to smirk.
I walk over to where he stands and notice him gulp. I love seeing this side of him. Usually he’s the one in charge but sometimes I still have my moments where I can make him weak.
I place my hands on his face softly and pull his head down so our lips meet. Once they do, it’s a contrast because we start to fight over dominance.
It gets aggressive quickly, I don’t back down. I slip my tongue into his mouth and tug at the ends of his hair. He fights back a moan and I grin, feeling pride.
David doesn’t like this at all. He pushes me back until the back of my thighs hit the pool table. He pushes me down on it and climbs on top of me. His lips are focused on mine while I am focused on unfastening his pants.
David pulls my shirt off over my head, he peppers kisses all over my newly exposed skin. I ditch the rest of my clothes and he does the same. We run too hot to last very long. It’s so passionate and immediate that we both finish in a matter of minutes.
“Pool is my favorite game.” David says, still out of breath from our previous activity.
“I’m starting to like this game more and more.” I smile, he leans in and presses a kiss on my temple.
“I knew you would.”
We continue to lay on the pool table, no clothes. We just bask in each others presence. It’s nice to take a break from everything. We have time just the two of us, no interruptions. The peace is broken when the lights suddenly all come back on. The power outage is over.
“Hey, you can finally upload.” I pat his chest and expect him to get up and quickly run to his laptop.
“Yeah.” He mutters, not even pulling away to get up in the slightest.
“Bub, aren’t you gonna go?” I ask.
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, I pull away from his chest to look up at him.
“I’m enjoying this too much.” He admits.
“Well, I’m glad. I am too.” I tuck myself back in against his chest. We lay there for a long while.
Who would have thought a power outage would have been such a blessing in disguise.
#david x reader#david dobrik imagines#david dobrik smut#david dobrik x reader#david imagine#david dobrik#david#vlog squad#david's vlogs#davids vlog#imagines#david smut#smut
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and introduction.
meet elijah.
hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!
some fun facts abt elijah:
he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:
his name was elijah
he was 2 (born on february 28th)
his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could
they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life
he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.
his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.
but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed
he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.
when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.
has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems
growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF
eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.
he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.
when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.
until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role
thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)
he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips
this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.
he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember
like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running
that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask
he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age
he probably is at the party bc royals? idk
EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.
wanted connections!!
obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon
one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed
childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking
people who know him solely through his family
someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints
people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk
someone who was w eli in the orphanage
past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp
idk, legit anything. send me those plots man
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what if we ...... pretended this was a good intro ..... aha just kidding ..... unless ? i was just gonna link to all my stuff but ... ur girl wrote a lot and i don’t wanna be cruel and force u all to read everything JDBWBDJBWJ so here we go !! <3
( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.
first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3
here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe
into the summary we go !
BACKSTORY: suicide mention tw
eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after
thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away
so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !!
when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3
eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced.
none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up
as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:
she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !
FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw
goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally
libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here
wears euphoria makeup to do groceries
moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management.
created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense.
she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3
it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear.
she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number
has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3
is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.
it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.
once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.
believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.
leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.
during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions.
has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.
owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.
literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...
ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting
big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3
not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...
likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it
loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...
has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company
not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately
despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time...
idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*
#opulentintro#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘#me: ok im gonna summarize !#me: literally just rewrites everything just to have it turn out just as long...#CLOWN !!! IM A CLOWN !!!!!
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Fun Jade/Rose Facts (Well... facts.)
Note: These facts are divided between “In-Comic” (Everything from Page 1 of Homestuck (A young man stands in his bedroom...) to page 8128 (The End) and “The Credits” (Pages 8129-8130). If I update this after the Epilogue, we’ll... cross that bridge when we get there.
In-Comic Jade/Rose Facts
Jade and Rose have only five conversations in the entire comic.
1 2 3 4 (2 pages) 5 (2 pages)
Conversation #4 is repeated. We see it first from Jade’s POV, then from Rose’s.
The number of conversations goes up to six if you count GrimBark Jade saying “Bark” and “Hey guys long time no see” to the assembled group in Act 6 Intermission 5 - but since Rose says nothing back, I am not counting this as a conversation.
You may do so if you wish.
After removing dialogue tags (like “TT”) and Pesterlog archival data (“ceased pestering” etc), their shortest conversation is their fourth at 80 words long.
Their longest one-on-one conversation is their third at 571 words long.
Their longest conversation is their fifth. It features Doc Scratch, and runs some 1,170 words long.
All told, about 2,711 words are exchanged in one-another’s chat windows. Discounting Doc Scratch’s intrusion into their final conversation, they speak 2324 words to one-another.
If you are counting the Grimbark conversation, add another 7 words.
6 if ‘BARK” is more of a sound.
By contrast, this single one-page Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory exchange between Dave, John, and Karkat runs some 2188 words - over a thousand words longer than any single Jade/Rose conversation, and only some 136 less than their entire conversation history.
Rose never speaks a single word to Jade aloud.
Rose never uses Jade’s name in conversation with her.
Jade and Rose "share the screen” 15 times during the comic. (I have excluded both Caliborn’s ‘Homosuck’ cutouts and his Plasticine maquette because A) they are facsimiles of an event recited by an even-more unreliable narrator than usual, not the real thing, and B) Seriously: Fuck That Guy)
One of these on-camera appearances was ret-conned out of existence.
In only seven of these appearances are both Jade and Rose conscious.
Here are all their on-camera appearances:
Act 6 Intermission 5
(Don’t think I ever noticed Gamzee hiding in the background before.)
Act 6 Act 5
Act 7
(It’s tough to tell but I think the above photo is the closest Rose and Jade ever get in the comic.)
Rose never speaks to Jade again after their fifth conversation in Act 5 Act 2.
Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 6.
Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 7
Going off “page math” alone. here are some fun facts about Jade and Rose conversations:
5% - or about 1/20th of the comic - passes before Rose and Jade speak.
Rose and Jade spend 39% - 39/100ths - of the comic “in-touch” with one another.
They spent the remaining 56% of the comic not talking.
Rose and Jade spend approximately 61% of Homestuck not in-contact, not in-touch with one another.
Counting the repeat conversation and a single still panel, there are only 9 pages in Homestuck where Rose and Jade are talking.
0.11072834645669291% of Homestuck - 5,536,417,323/5,000,000,000,000ths - (5.5 milliard billionths of the comic - 5.5 billion trillionths for our American readers. ~11/10000) is devoted to Rose and Jade’s “on-screen” relationship. And that’s counting a repeat conversation and a silent panel.
Rose and Jade “share” the screen - either while message-conversing or literally “in the same shot” in 20 pages of Homestuck.
That’s 0.24606299212598426% of Homestuck. About 24,606,299,213/10,000,000,000,000 (~1/400ths) of the comic.
Homestuck contains about 817,612 words.
Jade-Rose conversations all together comprise some 2779 words, taking into account that the fourth conversation is repeated twice.
Jade-Rose conversations comprise approximately 0.33989227163984875% of Homestuck’s text.
That’s 8497306791/2500000000000ths
Credits Jade/Rose Facts
There is no canonical evidence that Jade attended Rose’s wedding.
Seriously - she’s not there in the pictures. When all the kids are lifting the bride and bride up on chairs as part of the “thing done during the horah that isn’t actually part of the horah guess who just did a deep dive into the history of the horah did you know it’s from Greece via Romania and only dates back to 1930 as a traditional pan-Jewish custom it’s kind of like clan tartans in that it’s a cultural touchstone that feels ancient but isn’t” she’s... absent. Jake is in the picture twice once at the top, once in trickster mode on the bottom. Jade Harley: had better things to do than go to Rose’s wedding?
Jade and Rose are the only two kids to never be shown with Trickster modes.
This following photograph is the only conversation Rose and Jade ever have in-person in all the Homestuck franchise. It is their only moment of contact after Act 5 Act 2. We have no demonstrative way of proving that they ever conversed in-person before John’s 18th birthday party on Earth-C:
This is their only verbal conversation, and their only conversation to go textually unrecorded.
We have no way of proving that this is not Rose and Jade burying the hatchet after a... four year feud after Jade clumsily let Rose know her mother had been brutally murdered.
This is 1.3297872340425532% of the entire credits video.
That’s 664893617/50000000000ths of the entire credits - because the only good joke is a cumbersome running joke.
BONUS: Snapchat Jade/Rose Facts
Welcome to the land of dubious canonicity.
[Update 23/04/19: I’d like to note that I used this phrase before the Epilogues hit. Also, these are now officially outside of even the broader Homestuck meta-canon as far as anyone can tell. Radio silence on this remains aggravating. What were these and what did Andrew Hussie actually want?]
Do you remember the Snapchats? They didn’t stop being a thing or anything.
... well, they did, actually. Who knows if they’re canon any more. [Again: they are not]
That’s why this section is a bonus - its demi-canonical!
Man, remember when we were all excited that the future of Homestuck was going to be snapchats?
We were going to get so many snapped chats.
So many you guys.
Sigh.
Please no walking on the grass. That grass is only semi-canon. We are liable for damages with the rental company.
Jade and Rose appear together in one (1) snapchat photo:
I’m pretty sure this is the only Beta kids group shot in the entirety of Homestuck!
This Jade/Rose interaction comprises 1.5151515151515151% of all the snapchats.
That’s 946969697/62500000000ths.
That’s really all there is to say on the matter.
FAQ
Will you cover the Epilogue?
I will, of course, update this most important resource if/when the Epilogue gives us any more Jade/Rose content. Statistically speaking, it won’t take up much space.
You missed interaction [X]! Can I tell you about it?
Yes please! Thanks for letting me know, I will add it right away and update my maths.
You missed interaction [Caliborn’s Master Plan]! Can I -?
You may not.
This seems elaborate and kind of pointless - why would you do this?
Because Jade/Rose is a ship and talking about the Jade/Rose friendship is a thing and I... uh...
I didn’t get it.
But now having done all this work I...
... I still don’t get it.
I always questioned Jade/Rose because I said to myself “they don’t really interact much,” and now that I’ve sat down and run the numbers they really don’t interact much.
Now if you’re wondering “did you run though every single conversation looking for the times Jade mentioned Rose or Rose mentioned Jade” the answer would be “ha ha ha that would be crazy of course I did.”
I am very tired.
And... they don’t talk about each-other much. I mean ‘actually’ talk - I’m not counting all the “hey do you know what Rose/Jade is doing” questions asked between the kids or the trolls (though there’s not that many, really) - I’m talking about actual conversations, like when John talks about how he feels about having to marry Rose according to the Shipping Chart or Karkat mutters that Jade maybe kind of meant something to him once.
Jade has this to say about Rose - talking to, of all people, Eridan:
GG: rose?
GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!!
GG: why would you think that?
CA: oh
CA: wwell fuck
CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you
GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others
GG: just because you tend to hate and/or hit on everyone you meet doesnt mean everyone else is that way
GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best!
It’s a very Harleybert sentiment. And sadly it doesn’t add up to anything. At the very least, Rose doesn’t think that much about Jade.
Take it from me: a guy who literally went through every conversation Rose and Jade ever had with and about each other: Rose doesn’t think much about Jade. When Jade shows up sleeping at the end of act six lots of people talk about her: Rose’s only comment is to make a crack about Jade ending end-game ships when she wakes up, and also to note that there was Bird Dave and Dog Jade and Cat Rose but No [Animal] Egbert.
That’s it. The most Rose ever has to say is the “she has the karma” conversation all the way back in Act 3 - and it’s still really about Dave.
When GrimbarkJade shows up on LOLAR... Rose makes no comment whatsoever. Jade does not take the time to go see Rose when she wakes up in the ret-con timeline. Jade discusses Rose with John only in the context of John and his shipping chart destiny. Rose never seems to have anything to say about Jade to Dave or John.
If these kids had had a normal sibling existence in the same high school and John had been hit by a car Jade would have remained friends with Dave but she and Rose would be revealed to not be all that close - their common point of friendship is John, not one-another.
Rose talks about so much shit - but not about Jade. Jade might say Rose is “the best” but it’s Harley hyperbole more than anything: she didn’t even get Rose a birthday present because she says Rose is hard to shop for!
Rose LaLonde is hard to shop for? What?
There. It’s an Emily the Strange t-shirt with Charles Dutton’s head. it took me ten seconds to come up with it you are welcome Jade.
You want to ship Rose/Jade? Fuck yeah, man - go for it! You want to write an eighty thousand word fan-fiction on Rose and Jade: BFF Treasure Hunter Essayists? Sounds fucking rad please write that.
You want to say that, canonically, Jade and Rose are great friends?
I’m going to have to disagree. Homestuck is a story about four friends - it is not a story about four equally friendly friends. Maybe it was meant to be: not going to lie, I like Act 6 and the ending of Homestuck a lot but even I concede that Jade gets shafted in the “having shit to do” department - the fact that she sits out the big Giant Talky Session at the end of the comic? Weird as shit. If she was up and awake and had any kind of conversation with Rose where they seemed friendly and in-touch I would change my opinion in a heartbeat: I’m not some crank who hates Jade and Rose being best of friends because I’m a weirdo.
I mean I am a weirdo but for other reasons, not this.
No, I just don’t agree with the idea because it’s not supported by the text. Five conversations in seven acts? Less than 3,000 words exchanged in a document running into the hundred of thousands - and some of that repeat, and some of that the words of a giant cueball tool?
If Andrew Hussie wanted us to believe that Jade Harley and Rose LaLonde are particularly close friends, he put no sign of that into the text.
If I missed something please - tell me. Argue it with me, even, if you disagree with my assessment - or my math.I am not great at math.
Regardless - reach out. We should talk about this more.
Edit: Updated 10:38 EST April 12, 2019: corrected multiple typos, changed “dismissed” to “questioning,” clarified point about the horah to sound less weird.
#jade harley#rose lalonde#homestuck#dave strider#john egbert#andrew hussie#beta kids#emily the strange#Charles Dutton#this ocean charles#eridan ampora#kanaya maryam#candy corn vampire#problem sleuth#ghostbusters#Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff#sbahj#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#jane crocker#terezi pyrope#calliope#dad crocker#earth c#skaia#sburb#wv#jake english#karkat vantas#wayward vagabond
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