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#is it the same for the rest of y’all or does tumblr just hate me dkdjdkfj
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i swear i can feel this app disintegrating through my fingers
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lurkingshan · 1 year
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The Eighth Sense 5&6
Two of my meetings got canceled so I high-tailed it to Viki to watch this and OH MY GOD. If you have finished the episodes PLEASE COME TALK TO ME I AM LOSING IT. And if you haven’t yet get off tumblr unless you want to be mega spoiled.
- YES Ji Hyun and Ae Ri besties era has begun
- Yoon Won is such a nice senior but Ji Hyun and Jae Won totally had plans for a date, didn’t they
- Seeing Ji Hyun come into his confidence is so lovely
- Introvert/extrovert friendships are so funny, Ji Hyun looks at Ae Ri like she’s an alien
- Jae Won not wanting to waste his first call to Ji Hyun on a quick info exchange/errand is honestly very sweet
- Ack their cute little smiles after talking to each other
- Tae Hyung really has an inferiority complex about Jae Won, doesn’t he. And he just said Jae Won is “luckily” an only child, but we know he has (had?) a brother. Does Tae Hyung know that? Just trying to figure out if he’s a standard jerk or an unbelievable asshole of the highest magnitude.
- The instinctive thigh grab!! That just speaks volumes, doesn’t it.
- I am living for Ji Hyun and Ae Ri negging Tae Hyung. Yes, bully that man!
- Welp the angst has arrived. Ji Hyun is handling it admirably well so far.
- Anyone else noticing that the little brother kinda looks like Ji Hyun 😬
- His pain over Jae Jin seems very raw. I wonder how recently he lost him.
- Ah he feels responsible. And his dad is “aggressive.” I hate this.
- Ji Hyun is Jae Won’s place to rest 😭
- Jae Won attempting to get a larger volume of pills makes me very nervous. As does his affect in this car ride.
- What are folks making of this bright light and soft focus filter at the start of episode 6? I thought it was meant to convey something about Jae Won’s state of mind, but it’s present even in the scenes he’s not in.
- And what’s with this light-hearted music? What is happening. Is this a dream or something?
- Jae Won corrected the guy in the store that he’s with a boyfriend, where Ji Hyun didn’t. And store guy recommend a trot mix for a gf and fireworks for a bf.
- Okay this must be some kind of altered state we’re in with Jae Won. Everything about this is out of step with the rest of the series - the lighting, the music, the tone. And Ji Hyun keeps trying to get him to open up, which is maybe something Jae Won wants.
- Ji Hyun has water trauma from childhood and braved going back into the ocean for the first time just so he could connect with Jae Won.
- Jae Won, where are you going with this Ae Ri stuff? He seems like he’s kinda teasing, kinda sincerely jealous, kinda flirting with that self-destructive thing of pushing your loved on toward another.
- Even this night scene is brightly lit. And Jae Won just magically pulled a pair of hiking boots out of his little cart. I don’t know, this just doesn’t feel real.
- Yes Ji Hyun why do you suddenly have all this camping gear?? Even the characters know something is off.
- Ji Hyun is the same age Jae Jin would have been…
- Jae Won wants to be asked about his brother and is also unable to talk much about it. Which is striking ten years after the loss.
- And now this sleeping scene feels more like the show we know again.
- And we’re right back to the dreamy overexposed light in the morning.
- The physical intimacy escalated quickly! I didn’t expect high heat in this show.
- Omg. Was this a memory instead of a dream?? Or is it a fantasy version of this day in Jae Won’s head? I knew something was off. I’m losing it, y’all.
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cbrosa-archived · 1 year
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oh gee, in my many years of existence and i never knew that to ‘’be a true fan’’ you MUST follow one and only sexual/romantic orientation of a character. please PLEASE forgive my ignorance! apparently, i was unaware all this time that is such a death penalty to envision bi-pan/dom-switch billy as much as gay/bottom billy, which i also have been openly interested on. if you are this concerned about which fandom elements i take, you should at least have paid attention of my posts and reblogs about it. i very appreciate the interest and that you like me this much but eh, i’ll pass!. i will continue to love and like every form of queer billy that is available to me and do whatever the fuck i want. now that i know that it pisses you off this much, it gives me so much more motivation. thanks a lot mwah! 
i think you seem very angry. get well soon! i will stay on the billy brainrot as much as i please. i have a fair and great capability to understand his story and essence in different yet valid ways as the rest on billy tumblr or whatever the fuck this is called. therefore, suck on that or perish.
jfc i dunno what makes you think i’m the vent candidate for these embarassing takes but i don’t relate on it never will. some of you guys project on her or canon st*ve in unhealthy ways y’all need to re value whatever disease you are on because this misoginy and the infantilization of him does not count as valid discourse or some worthy opinions. who ever told y’all otherwise smokes bath salts lol you need to deconstruct yourselves from it. you are some kind of deranged asswipes that i don’t even have words for. get help.
the second reason i started loving billy was because of this massive anti vitriolic hate he got like those bitches only made me invested on him. same exact deal will happen with nancy lmao i will become her truther and deffense attorney just like i am for billy. by the way, i never compared her to chrissy. all i said was that she and even natalia get the same disdain as chrissy and GVD and that’s a fact.
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en-amours · 3 years
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「 enha going “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad” — hcs 」
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— 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴: requested by 🍓 anon! frankly, i don’t think this falls into the headcanons category bc they’re all bulletpoint scenarios (which is why this is a bit longer than the other one i wrote) :’> anyways, hope y’all enjoy, and sorry this took a bit longer than intended, hehe <3
— 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff, humor, angst in ni-ki’s part if you squint lol
♡ — taglist: @yoshinung @cyberhwng @stargirlstories @lovelycharm05 @honeyju
— 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 1.9k
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「 LEE HEESEUNG ! 」
listen, you love heeseung with all your heart. you would gladly give the world to him if he asked in a heartbeat; but if you have to sit through his aegyo one more time you will throw hands
it didn’t even agitate you the first time you saw his aegyo—in fact, you even found it endearing: you’d use it to clown him every time he’d ask for something
“oh? heedeungie wants a cookie, i hear?”
he does nothing bc he’s resigned himself to the fact that you and the boys would never live him down the moment he agreed to do it
but as he progressively got better and more comfortable practicing cute expressions, it became a “oh, how the turns have tabled” moment and he now uses it to clown you
he knows you hate it, too, so when he does aegyo he goes to the extreme—dignity be damned
so when you give him the blankest look the next time he pulls the cutesy card again, he laughs gently, puffing his cheeks out as he pokes his dimple
“hee,” you start, “do you plan on getting out of this relationship in one piece?”
but your boyfriend—being the absolute warrior he is—pays no heed to your tone and moves closer, your demise giving him all the joy he could possibly have. “why? i thought you loved heedeungie?”
not anymore, you don’t
before you can retort, heeseung grins at your expression. “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad~”
when you go quiet he considers stopping the whole façade
then he feels your lips on his
haha, heartbeat go brrrrrrrr
mans is so 👏 damn 👏 flustered 👏 when you put your hand against his cheek
you pull away once you can feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips; he’s rosy and breathless and he nearly loses his mind once he realizes you’re grinning
“so that’s what it takes to get you to stop… maybe you should do aegyo more often.”
——————
「 JAY PARK ! 」
“oh, gODDAMMIT QUIT IT WITH THE TURTLE SHELLS, JAY.”
“WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME??”
this is what the rest of the members have to deal with every time jay has the nerve to ask you to play video games with him you’re both the reason why jungwon bought everyone a pair of earplugs each
your level of competitiveness skyrockets whenever it’s a duel (or even games where you’re both on the same team—it’s just a trial of who can outdo the other)
god forbid anyone who suggests card games on a sleepover (looking at you, jake; ni-ki still hasn’t forgiven him for suggesting uno when he was situated right between you and jay) because they’re in for a long time of ✨ suffering ✨
it’s an instinct for everyone to put one foot out the door when you and jay settle in front of the television
this match in mario kart, however, went a little ,,, differently
“i will crush you, jongseong,” you seethe, eyes blazing because it’s your third rematch and the tiebreaker and you don’t know what you’ll do if you end up losing.
“that’s what you said the last two games,” he scoffs, leaning forward in immense concentration.
“your yoshi character can suck it.”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”
dude’s about to jump in ecstasy once he’s a few seconds away from the finish line at the third lap, but oh ho ho jay.gif has left the building once you kiss him on the cheek
literally freezes in shock for a solid ten seconds
in the span of which you took your chance to zoom past his avatar, thus winning the tiebreaker
looks at you, then at the screen, back to you again, then—
“WAIT THAT IS C H E A T I NG THAT DOESN’T COUNT WAIT WHAT—”
(he’s highkey vv flustered though; if you just got off your high horse and looked at him you’d have noticed how red he got)
——————
「 JAKE SHIM ! 」
ever since you told jake that you also weren’t able to attend your formal in the past, he’s been dead-set on asking you to a slow dance
you’d told him about it during your one of your many heart-to-heart talks, convos about fading memories from elementary and the anxiety-riddled nights in highschool, until it dwindled down to that
“i’m cool with it—formal is just an excuse to drain half of your college tuition for one night, anyway,” you’d said, but jake didn’t miss the way your eyes went softer in a haze of memories of what could’ve
so now you’re staring up at him, with his hand extended out to you, moon river playing in the background and jake’s smile has never been brighter
“you’re unbelievable,” you state.
“but you’re smiling anyway,” jake shrugs as he pulls you up, he places your hands on his shoulders gingerly, his own pair travelling down to hold your waist.
the next two minutes are spent in immeasurable laughter and half-hearted insults (“y/n, you’re a terrible dancer.” “says the dude who keeps on stepping on my toes every ten seconds, can you not—”); nevermind that there aren’t any cheap party lights blinding you, or your present classmates aren’t there to croon over who you were dancing with—in this tiny living room, all you can focus on is how it feels so right to have jake in your arms, and how this might be better than any formal you’d have attended.
your incredulous mask wears away, and jake dips his head to check with a grin. “aw, is my baby getting sentimental?”
you scoff, suppressing a smile. “mate, you’re the one who cries over layla at least five times a day. i hate you.”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad,” he taunts, relishing the way you laugh in response. you do kiss him, on the nose, softly, before resting your head on his shoulder, holding him closer.
“shim jaeyun, you are one of the most cliché people i know,” you pull away to look at him, at his eyes twinkling softly beneath the light, and you smile. “but thank you for this. truly.”
jake laughs softly, presses a kiss to your forehead. “i wouldn’t have formal any other way than this.”
——————
「 PARK SUNGHOON ! 」
so,, uh,,, i may have gotten a tad bit too carried away with sunghoon’s so i wrote a separate drabble for him,,,, hehe
it’s called “loser (affectionately)” and you can find it right here!
did i base the title off the “twitter: hellsite (derogatory)” meme here on tumblr? yes. yes, i did.
do i also think the drabble’s way too fucking cheesy? also yes.
but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless </3
——————
「 KIM SUNOO ! 」
here’s another one that turned into a full-fledged drabble because i have no self-control </3
it’s titled “maybe the night” and you can find it right here!
i got soft listening to ben&ben again 😔 their music is so damn good hhhhhh
highly recommend them !!
(also while writing this i realized i have a soft spot for our ddeonu i love him sobs)
——————
「 YANG JUNGWON ! 」
you hated yang jungwon.
well, no, that’s a lie—let me rephrase that again: you hated yang jungwon for having absolutely no mercy on your wallet
as if you weren’t worn out from the sparring match in taekwondo earlier, your best friend had to go and put the weight of his pride on your shoulders; ambling around with a stance that says, i’m the best and this abnormally overpriced chocolate milk carton acquired from y/n’s demise is solid proof.
(you’re grateful for your friendship, but this is one of the times when you regret ever making the bet with him)
the blushing clouds mark the end of another day, and you sigh, pocketing your (very few) change grumpily. “i’m going to go blind if you keep on smiling like that, yang—tone the brightness down a notch.”
jungwon: no ❤️
you try and reason with him that it was because you had too many shit you had to deal with prior to the match, but the dimpled teen wouldn’t hear any of it (knowing that all of it is bluff, you’re a terrible liar)
“you know that was a one time thing, right?” you say, and jungwon mocks you la-la-la-you-lost and he skips across street like a kid does after school, “i’m gonna beat you next time—”
“ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.”
he pokes your cheek and retracts quickly when you try to bite him. you glare at him, but the sun hits the side of your face so you end up squinting at him instead.
then he LAUGHS
(u know,,, the one where his eyes turn into crescent moons and his lil dimple shows? yea, that one)
and you’re just standing there like 🤠
you sigh, partially because you’ve seen him do this one too many times, and because you always fall victim to his charm, so you ruffle his hair and trudge on with the air of a fallen soldier
(dw jungwon holds your hand on the way home and gives you a piece of candy bc he loves you, too)
((you’re still beating his ass next time, though,,,))
——————
「 NI-KI ! 」
ni-ki wants to slam his head against a wall (≡^∇^≡)
(as, per usual, how every highschooler feels as they near the end of another laborious school day)
((but even more so in his case bc who the fuck blurts out “ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad” when they’re going against their crush in a debate when they can’t think of a effective counterargument?? ni-ki, apparently))
he didn’t even mean to say it; he was so caught up in the heat of the moment that all heed for whatever slipped through his teeth disappeared, and now the whole class is staring at him open-mouthed in equal parts shock and excitement.
but the worst thing is that you’re staring at him, too—with wide eyes and an expression he can’t read
“n-no, i didn’t mean— i— you…” ni-ki’s hands fly up wildly, his limited braincells trying to think of a way to weasel out of the situation (which is impossible now, it seems). “i’m…”
the teacher observing from the side, who’s been aware of ni-ki’s crush for some time: ᕕ[ ・ ▾ ・ ]ᕗ
heat flares in his cheeks and he looks down cursing you because screw you for being so beautiful and smart why did i have to like you i Hate this
…apparently he’s said that out loud too bc his classmates are losing their shit & he promptly wants to ✨ evaporate ✨
everyone is just “??!!” because they’ve been led to believe that y’all hated each other and now this???
“you… like me?” you squeak, ni-ki can’t bear to look at you and he feels remorse peeking in his chest like an old friend; he waits for rejection, or an insult, at the very least, but when he is met with silence he looks up to see that you’re just as frazzled as he is, and his heart leaps. “like… really like me?”
the answer hangs on his tongue, but the bell intervenes, and everyone collectively jumps. ni-ki is the first to dip. he returns to his seat, grabs his bag in one swift motion; the teacher stutters out the usual end-of-class statement out of habit, and with that the blond ambles out of the room with a bitter look, finishing what his sensei was supposed to say: point to y/n.
but if loverboy looked back at that moment, he might’ve seen you trying to fight back a smile, butterflies roaming your stomach; because you no longer have to pick at daisies, wondering he hates me, he hates me not.
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astrobydalia · 3 years
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Astro observations🎁🎄
Wishing you guys happy holidays, happy age of Aquarius, happy Capricorn season, happy solstice and just happiness all the way❤️
Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia
🎁 People with Mercury or Gemini in the 10th tend to have multiple accounts on social media
🎄 Unless the rest of the chart says otherwise, planets in the 12th house conjunct your ASC can make you an introvert specially if your first house is empty, cus those planets pull the energy of the ASC inward.
🎁 People with Venus harshly aspecting Moon can be low-key manipulative but in a way that is so sweet it’s hard to notice. They’re the type to innocently throw a “suggestion” which comes across as them looking out for you when what they’re really doing is telling you what they want you to do. People with this aspect also get offended TOO easily, you have to walk on eggshells with them. They can go so far as getting scandalized when people say curse words (to anyone that has this aspect, sorry not sorry for this observation cus ik y’all get offended when people call you out)
🎄 Those with Venus-moon hard aspects also tend to get very insecure if they don’t receive constant words of affirmation and constant displays of affection. They basically need their loved ones to constantly tell them that they love them, constantly give them kisses, etc. They could be needy or clingy bc of this
🎁 People with Saturn conjunct moon are so fucking DRY and I mean DRY. They are the type to tell you “omg this is the best day of my life” with a straight face or hardly putting emotion to what they are saying. These people are reluctant to showing vulnerability so even if they are saying how they feel with a straight face they usually mean it.
🎄 Also my heart goes to anyone that has this Saturn-moon conjuntion y’all just really need a warm sincere hug. Every single person I’ve seen with this conjuction (or Saturn in the 4th) have a very turbulent or toxic backstory/family. It’s usually hard for them to find good things to say about their family/mom even if they love them. They were somehow raised feeling like their feelings and needs were far from a priority and so they grow up learning how to “block” or restrict their feelings or emotional expression
🎁 In synastry, when someone’s moon falls in another’s 10th house, the moon person will highly admire and almost idolize the house person, but unlike the 12th house synastry, the moon person will have good realistic reasons to admire the 10th house person. The moon person will likely hype the house person up. With this overlay I’ve noticed however there’s some emotional distance, the connection can feel too “formal” if that makes sense
🎄Virgo+Gemini = FRIENDS
🎁 Cancer placements are obsessed with kawaii stuff or anything that looks cute, tiny and cuddly. They’re also obsessed with chubby looking stuff? (They tend to have round faces themselves or chubby cheeks) They are the type of people to use UwU, 🥺 or literally make those faces in real life.
🎄 Pisces moons are very elusive people, not necessarily mysterious, but more like very distant people. I hate saying cliche things about astrology but they really do feel like they’re not fully here in the present moment and therefore it’s sometimes harder to fully “get” them. Everywhere they go or any situation they put themselves in they always low-key want to leave
🎁 People with Cancer/moon in the 8th are said to want an emotional connection when it comes to sex but I’ve seen that they go through phases in which they are reluctant (or scared) to make such emotional connection and can indulge in casual sex or casual dating
🎄 That energy of someone that likes a good challenge usually associated to Aries is more of a Scorpio/Pluto thing. Scorpio placements are very aware of all the hardships and challenges they have accomplished/gone through and really take a lot of pride in how much they’ve grown from it. They are not afraid of going through hell and back. It doesn’t mean they like harships (I mean, nobody does), but they just love the feeling of surviving something hard.
🎁 Scorpio Suns are fucking comedians in disguise I swear to god. People that made me laugh the HARDEST were Scorpios Suns. Their parodical and satirical humor is just on point and they don’t even try
🎄 I once read an observation that said Sagittarius placements have a thing for bangs and I can confirm this is 100% true, you can also look at many celebrities with this as well
🎁 A lot of astrology freaks have Gemini placements and they got into astrology bc initially they just got “curious”
🎄 Be careful with Scorpio rising in the composite. Those connections never end well and the two people could even become a bitter burden to each other. It can have enemies-to-lovers vibe and be great in that case, but when it’s the other way around (lovers-to-enemies)... it’s no bueno
🎁 Has anyone else noticed that SO MANY famous people and public figures are Sagittarius Suns?? It’s incredible
🎄 Virgo placements tend to be teachers’ pets
🎁 Scorpio/8th house or Taurus/2nd house placements tend to be very street smart
🎄 People with Capricorn+Aquarius placements exude so much respect. They have that vibe of someone you wouldn’t want to judge you or someone you would REALLY want on your side. This combo really exudes that vibe of someone that will be a great loyal friend but won’t hesitate to cut you at the first sign of bullshit and that’s why they have this intimidating and respectable energy.
🎁 If you have the ruler of a house in that same house then this house will be very important to you and will be one of the most important parts of your life. For example if Leo is ruling your 11th house and you have the Sun (ruler of Leo) there, then the 11th house is very important for you regardless of the sign in which the Sun is. This could be a house where things naturally go well for you, tho placements, aspects and even transits can say otherwise.
Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia
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jackrrabbit · 4 years
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Sleepless /// Tanjiro x f!reader (18+)
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Request: Hi!! I'm not entirely sure on how to request since this is my first time EVER requesting something here on tumblr 😳😳 so im not sure if im doing this right,,,but um,,,,could you do a soft dom! tanjiro kamado x reader nsfw??? (he's aged up of course)
A/N: Y’all I’ve been working on this practically since I made this gd blog…idk why it took so long since I LOVE the concept. Reader is a traumatized bby who just needs her kitty licked  ✊😔 and honestly same
Tags/warnings: soft dom, daddy vibes but without the ‘daddy’ (onii-chan vibes?), brief mentions of past demon violence & PTSD, fluff?, historical inaccuracies probably, reader is implied to be inexperienced, mild overstimulation, lowkey yandere lowkey romantic who knows, all characters are adults
It starts out with little things. Harmless things. Tanjiro sees you barely ate anything at dinner, and later that night he comes to your bedroom with a plate of food for you. “You should eat,” he tells you.
“I’m not hungry,” you say, almost a little petulantly. The food looks good and you know he’s trying to be nice, but you’re not a child. You can take care of yourself, and even when you can’t it’s not his job to do it for you.
“Eat,” he says again softly. It’s not a command. It’s like he already knows you’re going to eat, and he’s just patiently waiting for you to give in.
You pick up the chopsticks and eat the food he prepared for you. All of it. Tanjiro sits there and watches and then when you’re done, he smiles at you and pats your head and takes the plate away. You think it’s weird, but the next morning you don’t question it. He’s a big brother to everyone—doesn’t it make sense that he would want to make sure you’re eating enough?
He probably can’t help it.
You decide you’re going to let it slide, until a few days later after breakfast with him and the others when Tanjiro pulls you aside and holds your face in his hands and tells you you’re looking a little tired lately—are you getting enough sleep?
The truth is that you aren’t. You want to deny it, but somehow you have a hard time lying to him. “I used to sleep with my siblings in our bed, so it’s hard to fall asleep since…” since the demon who made you an orphan murdered them. “And, you know. Nightmares.”
Tanjiro understands. Of course he understands! He used to have five younger siblings, did you know that? Now Nezuko has her own room and the rest…well, you’ve heard the story. It’s hard to fall asleep when you’re by yourself, isn’t it? He’s been there.
“How many hours are you sleeping every night? On average?”
You’re trying too hard to ignore the brush of his callused fingertips over your cheekbones, so you tell him the truth without meaning to. “Um, like four hours? On a good day?”
His eyes go wide and suddenly both of his hands are wrapped around one of yours and squeezing, maybe a little too tight. “Is that the truth, (Y/N)? Four hours is too little. Sleep deprivation isn’t good for you.”
“I know, but—”
“No. The next time you have trouble getting to sleep, I want you to come to my room.” You open your mouth to mount a denial, but he frowns and cuts you off. “Promise me. Okay? It’s really bad for your health, so promise.”
And once again, you say yes even though you don’t want to.
It’s fine. It’ll be fine, you think. You’ll just pretend you’re sleeping better. Tonight you’ll lay in bed with your eyes open and stare at the ceiling and try to listen to your own breathing, in and out and in and out, and hope it drowns out the memories that stick fast in your head whenever you’re by yourself. Then when you’ve been laying in the dark for a few hours, you’ll finally fall asleep and all your nightmares will play out in technicolor and you’ll do your best to be quiet so you don’t wake anyone else up and in the morning you’ll splash cold water on your face to make your eyes less puffy and pinch your cheeks to get some color in them and it’ll be fine.
You can take care of yourself. You have to, since everyone else is gone. So you’re not sure why, when the sun goes down and you’re looking into the face of another sleepless night, you find yourself knocking on the door of Tanjiro’s bedroom.
Maybe it’s just that he made you promise. You hate breaking your promises.
He lets you in, the half-asleep affect mixing with the same caring, serene look as always (and it’s a little insulting that he’s not surprised at all). Tanjiro sits on the bed first and you can’t help staring at him in the flickering orange lamplight. He’s more muscular than you remembered, and taller than when you first met. He can play the role of a big brother all he likes, but he’s still an adult. A man. And he’s not family.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” you say, fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt.
“It’s okay, (Y/N),” Tanjiro murmurs as he lies down, his voice still scratchy with sleep. Somehow it relaxes you. He just has that way about him—when he says it’s okay, it feels okay.
Tanjiro pats the spot on the bed next to him. It looks really warm, and there’s a winter chill in the air even though it’s only September. It’s a bed made for one person, but Tanjiro—ever considerate—has moved over to one side to make space for you.
“Come on. Come sleep,” he instructs in that soft, non-demanding way of his. So you sit down on the edge of the bed and (carefully, carefully, like you’re making your way into a hot bath) fold your legs and pull the covers over you so you’re lying next to him. The bed is even warmer than you thought it’d be. Tanjiro radiates heat—he’s so warm, you think, how fitting—and then before you know it you’re drifting into the first dreamless sleep you’ve been afforded in a very long time.
That first night, you sleep with a good six inches of space between the two of you. You don’t want to touch him, don’t want to cross that invisible boundary—at first. But it doesn’t matter, because every time you wake up next to him, you’re curled up to his side like a puppy seeking warmth. It’s not like he minds. Judging from the gentle smile on his face when he wakes you up in the morning (and tells you that you should go back to your room before anyone notices you’re not there) he likes it.
Never again, you think. No way. But you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in so long, and it’s nice to be well-rested for once, and the next evening you only lie in your bed for fifteen minutes before you’re knocking on Tanjiro’s door again, silently asking if you can take advantage of his kind nature for just one more night.
He says yes. Of course he does. So you sleep next to Tanjiro again, you keep half a foot of space between you again, and you wake up hugging him. Again. And then you do it the next night, and the next night, sleeping beside Tanjiro over and over until you no longer bother trying to leave room between your body and his.
Is this okay? you wonder sometime around the two-week mark. It’s the longest you’ve gone without having nightmares since the demon came. Sometimes you think you’re betraying your loved ones by trying not to think about their deaths; letting yourself off easy while they suffered. You tell this to Tanjiro while the two of you are lying back to back under his blanket, quietly enough that (you hope) if he’s already sleeping you won’t wake him.
He hears you, and he turns around and lays his arm around your waist. “Don’t be silly…of course they wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”
“But how do you know?”
“I know.” Tanjiro’s voice is half muffled by your hair, but it’s steady. “You believe me, don’t you.”
You do.
“Don’t think about that anymore.” His hold on your waist gets a little bit tighter, arms a little bit less forgiving.
“I won’t,” you say, hoping that the promise will be enough. The two of you fall asleep like that, and when you wake up in the morning it’s the first time ever that you haven’t moved in the night.
As if it wasn’t enough to be spending every night together, at some point you start to dream about him too. Usually it’ll just be a flash or a snippet that you barely remember once you wake—the reassuring tone of his voice, a smell like a campfire, or a few notes of laughter—but tonight you’re watching him train in the courtyard. In the dream, he moves through his forms with inhuman grace, position to position to position, balanced with perfect agility like he’s a dancer and not a swordsman. With how beautiful it is, you can almost forget the raw power behind his movement, the strength that has subjugated more demons than you care to know.
He pauses to stretch, rolling his shoulders back, and you notice that he’s shirtless (which is how you know it’s a dream). Tanjiro’s arms flex as he raises the blade into position, and the sun shimmers over the thin sheen of sweat on his chest. He looks ethereal like this, and as you sit on the porch and watch him, you feel heat stir inside of you that has nothing to do with the sunlight.
Tanjiro, you call out softly. He looks around to you, deep red eyes resting on yours, and whips the blade down to replace it in its sheath.
Can I come closer? The grass is cool and wet under your bare feet as you pad lightly into the courtyard toward him. You can taste the humid summer air in your mouth. Fingers tangle themselves in your hair, tilting your head up to meet his.
Tanjiro…
“(Y/N)?”
Tanjiro’s voice cuts through the dream and you scrunch your eyes shut, reluctant to leave the dream world where he wants to touch you, not out of pity or because he thinks it’s his duty to take care of you but because he wants to. But it’s too late—his hand is on your shoulder, gently shaking you out of your slumber. “(Y/N)? You said my name.”
“Sorry, I…sorry.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
He kissed you, in your dream. Now that you’re looking at the real version, your cheeks feel warm…and so does that same spot below your belly. Suddenly the room feels uncomfortably hot, and you wish you weren’t trapped under the covers with Tanjiro. You shift your legs to try and get a little more air between the two of you, but the heat persists.
“I think I should go back to my room.” You must be sweating—you feel damp for some reason. He’s too close.
Tanjiro ignores you. “Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”
“I—you,” you admit. “You were training.”
“And?”
“And…I don’t know. It’s kind of warm in here, isn’t it? I think I’ll just…” You push the cover aside and sit up, but before you can get yourself off the bed, Tanjiro is tugging you back down, holding to the mattress so he can hover over you in that way he likes.
“Tell me,” he says to you, voice as firm as it is gentle. Sleep-mussed locks of red hair flop over his forehead but his face is serious, and you can’t look away.
“You kissed me,” you whisper.
That takes him by surprise. You can tell by the way his eyes widen, but his hold on you doesn’t ease up. You want to die. Why did you say that? He’ll think you’re disgusting, sleeping next to him in his bed and having perverted dreams about him. Why couldn’t you have just lied? Why can’t you ever lie to him?
“I’m going back to my bedroom.” You try to project more confidence than you actually feel, but there’s no use. Tanjiro doesn’t seem like he’s going to let you get away from him any time soon.
He’s straddling your body carefully, one elbow folded next to your head while his other hand comes up to stroke your cheek. “Your face is all red.”
“You’re…you’re too close.”
“I don’t think I’m close enough. You have goosebumps, look...” Tanjiro folds up the sleeve of your sleep shirt, exposing your arms to view. “…here…and here, too…”
His hands are wandering further down to the hem of the shirt, pushing it up so slowly and gently that you’re not even sure it’s happening until you feel him stroking over your belly. It’s true, you do have goosebumps. It feels like every hair on your body is standing on end. “Tanjiro…?”
“I guess you haven’t been able to touch yourself, since we’ve been sleeping together. That kind of repression is bad for your health. Even I’ve been a little…frustrated.”
Your mind has to work overtime to understand what he’s telling you as he strokes over your stomach and onto the sensitive skin of your sides, and then up to the flesh covering your ribs. His thumb teases over the underside of one of your breasts for a second, but the shock must have shown on your face because he retreats immediately.
“I’m not. I’m not frustrated,” you say, knowing he won’t believe you.
Tanjiro shakes his head in dismissal. “I don’t think that’s true, (Y/N).”
What are you supposed to say? Of course it’s not true. But admitting that you’ve been feeling heated around him lately would ruin everything, so refuse to say it. “I…I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say it. Can I prove it to you?”
What does he mean? Your head jerks up and down in acquiescence. You barely have to wait a moment before Tanjiro’s hands are slipping down your sides to the waistband of your pants and tugging them down over your hips. A tap on your hipbones prompts you to lift your hips and let him remove the clothing, not that you know why you’re complying so blindly.
Just like you always do.
Is he still trying to take care of you? Putting himself in a caretaker’s role because he thinks you need him? This is going a little far, too far maybe, but you can’t deny you want this. The heat of his body is no longer stifling—instead, it feels like it’s pulling you into him.
When your pants are out of the way, Tanjiro reaches into your underwear and dabs against your slit. It’s not until you feel his finger sliding between the puffy lips of your cunt that you realize how wet you are…and of course he can feel it too. Your knees jerk together to try and push him away from you but he’s unfazed, his touch steadily becoming more intrusive as he seeks out the syrupy dampness from your pussy.
“What am I feeling right now? I want you to tell me.”
“You’re—you’re touching me?” you gasp out.
“And you’re all wet. You can’t tell me you haven’t been frustrated when you’re getting this wet with just my fingers.” At this, you feel him prodding deeper into your pussy and stretching you open.
“Nn—okay, fine! Fine!” The words come out of you in a rapid burst, and you finally muster up the resolve to push Tanjiro away from you by his shoulders. “I’ll go back to my room and deal with it, okay? You don’t have to do it for me.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I can trust you to take care of this problem by yourself. You’ve been lying to me about your needs.”
You wish he wasn’t able to be so calm while you feel like your entire face is on fire. He pulls his hand out of your panties and backs up on the bed so his torso is framed between your legs. “Can you let me help you, (Y/N)? Let me take care of you.”
You lick your lips without realizing you’re doing it, and Tanjiro’s eyes follow the motion. You can barely comprehend what he’s asking. You want it. You want his hands on you; you want to be taken care of in the way he’s offering. But whether or not you can actually ask for it is another story. “Tanjiro…”
“You need this. I know you do.” He skims his palm over your bare thigh in a soothing motion that, oddly enough, puts your barbed nerves a fraction at ease. “I want you to be honest with me about what you need.”
It’s too much. The warmth of his body so tantalizingly close to yours, his shadowed eyes searching yours for a response you don’t know how to give him…and the sticky mess in your panties. Tanjiro’s giving you a free pass to get something you’ve wanted for longer than you can comfortably admit to yourself, and you’re not sure you could deny him if you tried. What can you tell him except the truth? “I want you. I need you.”
“Good girl. See how good it feels to be honest?” Tanjiro bows down and mouths over your pussy through the wet spot on your panties.
It’s not the honesty that feels good, you think as his tongue pads at you through the fabric.
Too impatient to wait another second to taste you, Tanjiro nudges your rear up and slides your panties down your legs. As soon as you kick the undergarment off your feet, he’s pulling your thighs back apart and curling his thickly-muscled arms around them to hold you securely as his head dips back down to your bare pussy. He wastes no time in laving his tongue over your slit and up to the button at the top.
The sensation of this hot, wet muscle pressing up against your most private area is…weird, to say the least. You’ve never felt anything like this—to be honest, you don’t even know exactly what Tanjiro’s doing. When you think about what’s actually happening on this bed—your (friend? partner? bedmate? crush?) ally has his mouth angled between your legs and is licking your pussy—you think you might spontaneously combust. You’ve never felt anything like this before, and however strange the feeling is, you’re more than aware of your hips grinding up toward Tanjiro just so you can feel more of it.
“Here, let me help…” Tanjiro effortlessly lifts you to place a pillow under your lower back, and then moves back down to continue his relentless licking, this time at a new angle that allows him full access to every millimeter of your raw cunt. He’s eating you out like your pussy is the last meal he’ll ever have.
And how can he help it? You taste so good, so sweet on his lips and over his tongue. You must have been in so much pain lying next to him every night with your desire leaking out between your thighs. Just thinking about is making heat rise low in his groin, and his grip on you is getting tighter by the second. How awful that you tried to keep this to yourself…it was remiss of him not to realize before tonight that you needed him so badly.
But it’s going to be alright, because judging from the muffled noises you’re making, every swipe of his tongue licking up your slit is more than making it up to you.
You probably don’t realize how much your hips are wiggling under his minstrations. He barely has to exert any effort to keep you still, but the way you keep trying you push yourself closer to him is enticing, not to mention the way you’re trying (and failing) to keep your voice down through your moans.
“Tanjiro…T-Tanjiro,” you whimper. It’s like you can’t think of anything except for his name. All of your attention is focused on the pressure building up deep in your core, each stroke of his tongue over your clit taking you higher and higher. You feel tense…wound up so tightly that you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from letting the shallow puffs of air turn into full-fledged cries.
Just like that, please, please… You think the words rather than saying them, even though you want to. It’s too humiliating to be begging Tanjiro for more while he’s already giving you more than you deserve, but it’s almost like he heard you anyway, because his tongue writhes down across your clit again and your back arches up off the bedspread.
Your thighs twitch around his head, trying involuntarily to hold him down. He just chuckles and keeps you firmly in place, and his voice hums out over your pussy making feel even more wild. “Please, I’m—I’m cumming…” Your voice trails off and you crush the heels of your palms into your face to cover up your expression while the wave of pleasure hits you so hard you think you might faint.
Tanjiro doesn’t stop. You’re crying out in whimpers so high-pitched he can barely hear them, but he doesn’t stop. The delicate muscles in your pussy are throbbing under his tongue, but he doesn’t stop licking until you’re almost crying, panting out “it’s too much it’s too much, please Tanjiro” and pushing his head away with your hand.
When he finally pulls away, his hair is tangled and disarrayed from where you’ve been running your hands through it, and his mouth and jaw are shining wet. Tanjiro licks his lips and if you didn’t feel shaky before…you do now.
It takes a second for the power of thought to return to you, but when it does you just sigh weakly and flop back down onto the bed. Tanjiro’s next to you before you hit the pillow, and he grips your jaw with one hand to angle your head to meet his, and—
He’s kissing you. He’s actually kissing you. His lips are surprisingly soft over yours, but as usual there’s an unnecessary degree of pressure attached to the contact that has you sinking deeper into your blankets under his force. You can detect the lush, slightly bitter taste of your arousal coating the inside of his mouth as his tongue (skillful as ever) traces over yours. Tanjiro is kissing you, and it’s a hundred times better than any dream you could come up with on your own, so you kiss back.
It takes him a long moment to break the kiss, long enough that your lungs are pleading for air by the end of it. When his lips leave yours, a thin trail of saliva connects the two of you until it breaks and drips down your chin.
“Tanjiro…” You search for the right words, but what are you supposed to say at a time like this? “I…what did we just do?”
“Shh, don’t worry.” Tanjiro leans in again, this time just to press a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’m going to take good care of you, okay?”
You take a moment and then duck your head into a nod. It doesn’t make any sense—how does he do that?—but once he says it’s okay it always is.
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worstloki · 3 years
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Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1
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just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.
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“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.
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0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.
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loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 
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if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.
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“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.
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“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,
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thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 
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“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 
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THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.
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okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 
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thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.
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“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.
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when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)
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just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 
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I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.
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“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.
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im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 
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return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.
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thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.
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crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.
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“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 
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I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.
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im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)
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thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...
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thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.
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THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪
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stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.
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“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.
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I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 
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i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3
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“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.
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Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!
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“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.
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the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.
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sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩
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Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot
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sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌
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now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking
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look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 
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shirophantomvox · 3 years
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Analyzing Killua Zoldyck's Character
Illumi Analysis| Hisoka Analysis| Chrollo Anaysis|
What’s up y’all?! I’ve had at least 2 cups of coffee this morning and I am ready to write my butt off! This post will be about Killua Zoldyck, my second favorite character and you will know why by the end. If you’d like me to write about your favorite character, Be sure to send me a message and I will get on it ASAP.
Here we go!
I saw Killua for the first time on Tumblr. Someone created various icons for several anime characters and edited them. They were all aesthetically pleasing but for some reason, his picture stood out. Now that I look harder, it is because he was holding a Pepsi can instead of the off-brand one they drew for him in the cartoon. I noticed everyone on TikTok and Twitter had the very same icon as their profile picture (usually those that like to troll and say racist things to others). Once I started watching Hunter x Hunter, I realized the character immediately. Thank you for your edits!
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Killua Zoldyck is the youngest child in the family and is the only child that developed a mind for his own.
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Instead of taking the pleasure of killing, he runs/avoids and achieves this by becoming friends with Gon. It’s interesting to think that no one in the Zoldyck family wants to kill for fun except for Illumi.
I remember Zeno telling Chrollo: “Do you think I enjoy killing?”.
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This makes me think that the family’s job is to destroy enemies that are a threat to society. Are the Zoldyck’s taking on the role of cops or an extension of such? If that statement is true why does Illumi take pleasure in abusing his power when his own grandfather only does it when criminals are involved? Granted, Silva and Zeno’s reasoning for brutally fighting criminals isn’t legal, and (to me) are considered to be vigilantes, at least they don’t go around doing the horrible things like how Illumi and Hisoka do.
This very reason why Killua ran away from home. He decided to rebel against his mother and implied: “Fuck you. I’m going to do what I want.” Killua and his siblings are victims of child abuse and show that they deal with that abuse in different ways. Killua masks his abilities in public and tries to keep them under control, Kalluto seems to be very quiet and obedient, Milluki is just as abusive as Illumi, and we already know about Illumi. Milluki is physically abusive; this can be seen when he is whipping Killua for running away and threatens to destroy Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio while Illumi plays mind games on Killua and uses his Nen to do the trick.
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Killua’s character is very special and in a way takes the lead as the main character instead of Gon. I don’t know if that was intentional or not. Killua is a 12-year-old boy who leaves home to escape his abusive home and see the world for his own. During phase 1 of Hunter’s Exam, he instantly clicks with Gon; probably because he’s the only 12-year-old there. They constantly challenge each other to see who will win and who will buy dinner or some other reward. Because of his abusive home, Killua often masks his feelings. This is noticeable every time Gon talks about him being his best friend and he always reacts as if he’s embarrassed by it.
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Gon is his shield from going bat-shit crazy like his family. They both have faced opponents (like Hisoka and others) where Killua could have unleashed his assassin abilities but didn’t. Yes, some of the opponents are stronger than him, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
Killua is the best friend Gon could ever have. Since he knows about aura and any supernatural abilities, this is why he stops Gon and even insults him for pushing himself too far. Killua stopped Gon from using too much aura in the past especially once Kite’s arm was cut off by Pitou. Because Killua wasn’t there to stop him when fighting Pitou, this resulted in Gon’s downfall. Did Killua believe it was his fault that Gon almost died? He isn’t responsible for Gon’s actions but he focused so much on running away from his “demons” and masking his temper by maintaining his friendship that he wasn’t paying attention to Gon’s noticeable and developing temper.
Killua Zoldyck is a child that suffered from abuse and to escape that reality, he runs away, takes Hunter’s Exam only to match with his brother, chooses defeat, and then kills an opponent, not of his own free will.
But wait, there’s more.
After being rescued from his prison of a home, he goes to Heaven’s Arena, met Zushi and his teacher, develop Nen, follows the Phantom Troupe around and somehow managed to survive that, meet Bisky, join a game to get closer to Ging, witnesses Gon disappearing, trying to form a relationship with Alluka, and then tries to heal Gon with a quickness.
Whew, chile!
At the beginning of the show, it appeared as if Killua was taking on too much and only did so to keep his mind off what he escaped from.
One thing to point out is Killua’s motivation to heal Gon no matter what. It is implied that he doesn’t care what will happen to him or anyone else as long as Gon can live again.
Wait.
Isn’t that along the lines of what Gon said about getting revenge for Kite? He didn’t care about what happened to him? Hmmmm. I guess they’re very similar after all!
Killua and Gon are BFFs and will do anything for each other. Friendships in real life should be this way; let’s follow his fictional example.
Face
Killua’s face is the typical shape for someone his age. His eyes are wide, as blue as the morning sky, and honestly, I wish he’d smile more. Even though he is 12 years old, he still has a babyface.
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Hair
Killua’s hair color is very similar to Princess Allura’s and Lotor’s. According to verywellmind.com, the color white represents innocence and purity. Ironically, Lotor and Killua are the opposite of that while Allura has maintained her innocence. Killua’s unique hair color and hairstyle are amazing! I love how it stays in shape while he is fighting or running.
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Clothes
Regarding clothes, he is JUST like his brother. Again, Illumi irks me, but they both have a great taste in fashion. Through the show, Killua changes his clothes more than Gon, which is funny. I guess if Gon changed his clothes too much it would take away from his character. Killua’s default style contains a sleeveless white shirt with a purple one underneath, basketball shorts, and gym shoes. Just look at these outfit changes! This is why Killua is my 2nd favorite character in this show.
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Behavior
As stated before, Killua cares more about others. This is ironic because the Zoldyck family only cares about themselves or their family while Killua feels the complete opposite. It’s almost as if he trusts strangers more than his own family. A common phrase: “She/He turned to the streets” that I’ve heard in my hometown can be applied here. Killua probably hates his family and turned to strangers to find love and comfort since they neglected that. He is also the only one that tries to develop a relationship with Alluka. At first, I thought “Wow he’s only developing a relationship with her to heal Gon” but then I realized it was bigger than that. Alluka has been separated from her family because of her dangerous abilities. She will demand something and if that person doesn’t fulfill her demands, they will suffer horribly. Killua learns that Alluka has a healing ability and while Illumi complains that Killua was hiding rules from him, he never took the chance to talk to him about it and continued to threaten Alluka. The family “banished” her to a confined room for who knows how long because, apparently, she had been possessed by a demon from the Dark Continent and they do not know when it happened. Despite knowing that Killua could parish with the rest, he still develops a relationship with her. He is the true example of excepting someone for who they are. As far as I’m concerned, running away was the best decision he made. It saved his life and in return, he’s going to save another. I do find it ironic that something considered to be so dark has the power to bring something back to life when usually it’s something bright like a light...interesting. You all know what I’m saying. Most television shows only portray angles to heal others while demons only seek to destroy. The Zoldyck family is wrong for pushing Alluka away. How could you do that to your own kid? Shit, you should be blaming yourself for not watching her and allowing the demon to posses her.
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In conclusion, Killua is my second favorite character. He is bold, loves his friends, and isn’t afraid (anymore) to step up to people he may not win against. His character has blossomed from a young boy afraid to step up to his brother to a boy who isn’t afraid to do so. He has learned about Nen and has gone through many trials and tribulations just to say he is much stronger than before. What characters would you like to hear about next? Send me a DM!
Fin.
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babbushka · 3 years
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Biting Dust - Ch. 5
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Life ain’t too easy for a woman, ‘specially not a woman on the run like you. With a bounty on your head and gunpowder in your nose, you’ve grown adjusted to a life of solitude away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. That is, until you meet one particular man who’s got a face you’d only ever seen in your dreams – or on wanted posters. And when he offers you a proposition that sounds too good to be true, well. You don’t think your life will ever be the same again…
Outlaw!Kylo Ren x Reader
Tumblr Masterlist | Available on AO3
6k; Warnings: Attempted assault, attempted murder
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Red clouds of earth kick up behind your horse’s hooves as they gallop far past the town line, hootin’ and hollerin’ all the while. The wind whips your hair around, your bonnet flung right off your head, held onto your person only by the wide ribbon that’s kept it tied ‘round your throat. Adrenaline pumps through your body, makes your vision spotty, makes your heart beat fast fast fast, ridin’ like lightning away from Ragrock.
Kylo’s right beside you, makin’ just as much damn noise as you, his crooked teeth gleamin’ gold in the blazin’ Arizona sun. You ain’t never see him grin this big, as he shouts and jeers too, challengin’ the canyons and the desert, darin’ them to take this moment away from the both of you.
“I can’t fuckin’ believe you!” You laugh, voice nearly gettin’ lost in the wind, cheeks hurtin’ from the way you’re smilin’ so much, “Goddamn you’re so -- so -- stupid!”
Kylo laughs at that too, a deep rumblin’ sound that feels so much like thunder that you’re sure it’s shakin’ the earth. Or maybe that’s Sam and Agnes, the way they’re throwin’ their heads back and whinnying and stampin’ their hooves into the caked dirt below. Either way, it’s a good sound, one of them sounds that makes you ache in your bones; you can’t remember the last time you heard someone else laugh so genuinely.
“Yeah?” He finally decides to slow Sam to a halt, and you do the same, tuggin’ on Aggie’s reigns to get her to calm just a little bit, the horses powerful legs comin’ to a gentle trot, both you and Kylo gulpin’ down air.
“Yeah. Why the hell did you bring us through there knowin’ there was bad blood?” You reach into the saddle bag and pull out a canteen, measurin’ a careful sip or two of the fresh river water, before decidin’ to pass the jug over to Kylo himself.
Gratefully, he takes the same size sip as you, and you think that’s mighty chivalrous of him once again, on account of he’s a much bigger person than you, and should clearly need more water. Still, you don’t protest when he hands the canteen back to you, the lid screwed on nice and tight to avoid spillin’.
“It was the only place I could think of that’s close enough.” He shrugs, and you frown ever so slightly at that, knowin’ that really, as long as you stay close to the Colorado River, you’ll have just about anything you need.
Well, almost, anyway.
“Close enough for what?” Your curiosity gets the better of you, especially when he starts rummagin’ around in his own saddle-bag for somethin’. You lean over, tryin’ to be nosy and get a peek inside, but he only clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and you duck your head, embarrassed at bein’ caught.
“For this,” Kylo doesn’t make you wait though, pullin’ out a couple boxes of bullets, but much more importantly, “And these.”
When Kylo pulls out the burlap sack filled with coins, your eyes widen. Right there in his fist has to be over five hundred dollars in gold and silver, more money than you’ve ever seen in one place save for the banks you burn. It makes your mouth go dry, and you wonder how he got a hold of it all, if he took it from the cash register by force, or if he stole it discreetly.
“Holy shit, no wonder you were takin’ so damn long.” You urge Aggie a little closer to get a better look, darin’ to stick your hand in the bag and scoop up a handful of the coins. They were heavy, heavy and real.
“I figured you wouldn’t be opposed.” Kylo speaks quietly as your hands let the coins fall between your fingers, clinking together back in the sack. He gives you the sack then, lets the weight of it rest in your hands, clearin’ his voice, “We’ll need it for Ruby City.”
Without a thought, you push it back into his hand. He was the one who had stolen it, it belonged to him. Yes you were out of money, your own coin purse completely empty, but...but you had more pride than that, to accept someone else’s hard earned coin. Even if he had earned it wrongly, it was still his.
Besides, you reckon as you shake your head when he tries to give it back once again, Kylo was right -- it’s less suspicious to travel with a man, and if you’re traveling together, he better be the one to handle the money.
Kylo seems to read your thoughts, and he just nods, before taking a couple coins out and handing them to you, fifty bucks weighin’ on your palm.
“Just take the fuckin’ money.” He says with a small smile. “I won’t hear any ‘no’, it’s yours too, for helpin’ me by distractin’ the townfolk.”
You sigh, and reluctantly put the coins in your own small purse. For the first time in a while, the fabric is bulged out and heavy. Kylo puts the burlap sack back in his saddle-bag, and you resolve to ignore its existence until you need him to pay for a room at an inn somewhere.
“Should’ve warned me that you knew the damn bartender.” You scold him then, a little disgruntled that he had kept that information from you. If you were going to be a distraction, you would’ve liked to know exactly who it was you’re distractin’. “Should’ve told me y’all hated each other.”
You don’t tell Kylo that you were flirtin’ with that Armitage, certain that he wouldn’t like it. He sure as hell didn’t like it when Amos was gettin’ a little too friendly with you, anyway, and he was just a stranger. To your surprise though, Kylo scoffs out a laugh, and fishes out his old cigarette from the inside of his boot, lightin’ it with a match and puffin’ smoke through his nose.
“Hate?” He’s got humor in his voice as he urges Sam forward, needin’ to get back towards the water’s edge before the sun sank too low in the sky, “Nah, Hux and I go way back. He’s a good friend.”
You level him a dirty glare at that, if only he had told you he coulda’ saved you a world of panic! You think about the way that Armitage shot out his own windows, the way that Kylo managed to murder Armitage’s brother without any guns of his own, and all the damn fallout that came from it.
“Didn’t seem to be actin’ like a good friend when he was aimin’ his shotgun at your face.” You point out, thinkin’ to yourself, men are so goddamn strange.
Kylo laughs again, and you find yourself growin’ dangerously used to the sound, so you just sigh and shake your head. He smokes and smokes, both of your horses leadin’ you closer to the water, havin’ galloped away from it ever so slightly.
“He likes when I come rollin’ through, trust me. He always complains about how quiet his lil’ town of Ragrock gets, likes to give the folks somethin’ to gossip about every now and again.” Kylo explains, patton’ Sam’s neck and flashin’ you a gold-tipped smile.
“So he really wasn’t going to kill us then?” You raise an eyebrow at him.
“Oh no he probably would’ve if I let him.” Kylo answers quickly, “‘Specially after what I did to Brian. But he’ll be fine with it in a couple weeks once folks tell him I wasn’t the one that started nothin’.”
You stare at him for a little while, and he can feel the weight of your gaze on him, but he only gives you a crooked smile and a wink. You weren’t so sure what that wink meant, but if you had to guess, it could really only mean trouble.
“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” You lick across your teeth to prevent yourself from smilin’ and givin’ him the satisfaction of knowing that he entertains you. The grin he gives you tells you he knows it anyway.
“Nothin’ that you can’t handle though, I reckon.” Counterin’ with a slight smile, Kylo ducks his head and blushes, and that alone is enough to make you tap your heels against Aggie’s hide, to get her to go gallopin’ down the canyons again.
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Some hours later, when the world around you starts to cool off from the settin’ of the sun, you and Kylo set up camp near the river. He had gone ahead and scouted the spot out, made sure there weren’t any folks who had already laid claim to that particular stretch of the bend, no one that could go cousin’ any trouble.
There was more than enough money now, to buy new stocks of food whenever y’all got to the next stop along the route, but that didn’t mean that you were about to let Kylo blow through the supply. So instead, you ask he hunt you down another rabbit for dinner, which he does in less than a half hour, impressin’ you once again.
It’s quiet, out there by the river. The sky has faded to a gentle purple, the silvery moon high in the sky. You’ve got a fire made, nothin’ too big or roarin’, just tall enough to heat up the cast-iron pot that you’ve got hangin’ over it by an iron stake. That rabbit is stewin’ in the pot, along with some water, beans, cut up carrots and a little bit of rice. You stir the pot, listenin’ to the sound of the river as it trickles past.
The sweet sound of a harmonica sounds then, and your gaze snaps up to see Kylo with the instrument against his lips. His eyes are closed, and he’s breathin’ nice and even, the high tune of a melody makin’ your throat choke up. It was a tune you knew all too well, once upon a time, a long time ago.
You stir the stew, chewin’ on the side of your cheek, until somethin’ in you compels you to sing. Your voice is a little rusty, but it doesn’t deter Kylo one bit, in fact, when he catches wind of you singin’ along to his tune, he plays a little louder, a little clearer, switchin’ to the harmony as you take over the melody to the sad cowboy song that you once used to teach yourself,
"O bury me not on the lone prairie."
These words came low and mournfully
From the pallid lips of the youth who lay
On his dying bed at the close of day.
He had wasted and pined 'til o'er his brow
Death's shades were slowly gathering now
He thought of home and loved ones nigh,
As the cowboys gathered to see him die.
"O bury me not on the lone prairie
Where coyotes howl and the wind blows free
In a narrow grave just six by three—
O bury me not on the lone prairie"
"It matters not, I've been told,
Where the body lies when the heart grows cold
Yet grant, o grant, this wish to me
O bury me not on the lone prairie."
Kylo sets down his harmonica then, and you blink away a light mistiness in your eye. It ain’t good to dwell on the past, you know, but sometimes, times like these, you can’t help but think ‘bout it. Kylo’s blinkin’ away somethin’ too, you notice, so as you stir the stew and determine the rabbit and vegetable and rice are all as cooked as they need to be, you ladle a big bowl for you and for this man who has become the closest thing to a companion you’ve ever had in your life, and you take it over to him.
He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, not for a while. You simply sit down next to him, as close to him as you’ve gotten since that time in the river, and hand him the bowl and spoon. He accepts it gratefully, his own gaze cast into the fire, and not for the first time, you wonder what’s goin’ on in his head.
After a couple bites of the stew, you rest your head on his shoulder. It’s a tentative motion, a hesitant one. Kylo holds his breath, you can feel it in the way he tenses ever so slightly, but he doesn’t tell you to move, and that’s as good of an invitation to stay as any, you reckon.
“You can’t go lookin’ at me like that, by the by.” Breaking the silence, you slurp down a spoonful of stew yourself, lookin’ into the comforting vision of the flames which flicker and flare gently in front of you.
“Hm?”
“If we’re meant to be cousins,” You explain, voice soft and kind, knowin’ that you’ve been too hard on him these past couple days. “You can’t be givin’ me those eyes of yours. Folks might see through the ruse.”
Kylo surprises you by shruggin’ with his other shoulder, his cheeks crinklin’ into a smile. His dimples crease, and he chews on his lip a little, keepin’ his eyes down as he blushes.
“Folks marry their cousins all the time, it wouldn’t be so strange.” Kylo nearly whispers, almost like he’s afraid to speak the words, rushes quickly to try and change the subject as soon as he’s said it, “Hell, my mother almost married her own damn brother on accident -- but that’s a long and complicated story.”
“Oh so we’re married now.” You smile, feelin’ the heat rise to your own cheeks. It’s less of a question and more of a statement, the way you say it, and you find that against your own better judgement, you like the way it sounds. You like the idea of it, and that makes butterflies spark up in your stomach, a feelin’ you ain’t so used to.
“We could be.” Kylo doesn’t dare look at you, idly stirring his bowl, “We could pretend, anyway.”
You think for a second about what that might be like -- but then you shake your head a little and sigh, “I made a promise I’d never be a meek housewife.”
“Ain’t no one here callin’ you meek.” Kylo reassures you, and now it’s your turn to duck your head, to rest it against his shoulder a little more. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, you wonder if he can hear it out there in the quiet of night.
“Be my cousin, for just a little while longer.” You whisper, a silent plea to just give you some more time, “Until we make it to Ruby City.”
“I can’t get a good read on you.” Kylo hums, and you’re relieved to hear that he’s not got an angry or disappointed edge to his tone.
He really does respect you, you realize all of a sudden. Maybe it’s foolish to come to that conclusion so soon, so quickly after you’ve met him, but you can’t help but come to it nonetheless. He’s done nothin’ but respect you this whole time, and you don’t know what to do about that. It’s never happened before.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, a hint of a smile on your lips.
“It means that you’re the most mysterious damn woman I’ve ever met.” He replies easily, a smile on his own.
“I have to be.” Shrugging, you eat another bite of the stew, wishin’ you had some spices to throw in it. You hope Kylo doesn’t think it’s too bland -- before growin’ bashful again, at the thought that you want him to enjoy your cookin’.
“Why’s that?”
“Because the more people that know about me, the less safe I am.”
“I told you -- ”
“I know, you ain’t gonna hurt me, I know.” You interrupt him, before sighing, wondering if you were really going to do this, if you were really going to tell him. “That’s not what I meant.”
Kylo senses a shift in the air, a change in the atmosphere, and his teasing playful smile melts into something a little more somber, more serious. He watches you, and waits for what you have to say, and you decide that what the hell -- if you couldn’t tell Kylo, you couldn’t tell anyone at all.
“I didn’t always used to be an outlaw, you know.” Setting down your bowl of stew, you fidget with the hem of your blue dress’ skirt, and look into the fire, your memory transporting you to a place and time that felt like a million years ago. “There was a time, a long time ago, that I was a school teacher, in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere Utah...”
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You were young, when you started teachin’ at the school. It had always been your favorite place when you were growin’ up, and when the teacher herself got married and moved away, you jumped at the vacancy at once. This was the only way a young woman like yourself could earn a living with her clothes on, you knew that, and though you were barely older than the students that came to your classes, you took your job seriously.
It had been a bright sunny morning in Spring the day you turned sixteen, when the bells tolled for all the school children to come rushing to your door. Standing outside the single room schoolhouse, you had a cheerful smile on your face as you welcomed the students that you had come to love and care for, as they bounded up the few steps and into the wooden building. Ranging in age from as young as five, to as old as twelve, two dozen students took to their seats, fresh faced and recently washed, hair combed for their lessons.
“Good mornin’ class!” You walk to the front of the room once the bell finishes tolling, picking up a piece of chalk and writing out the first line to a popular sea shanty turned folk song, your delicate cursive spelling, ‘O Bury Me Not On The Lone Prairie.’
“Good morning Miss (L/N)!” The class responds in happy unison. One of your students, a young girl named Wendy quickly gets out of her seat to place an apple on your desk before hurrying back.
You smile at her, at all of them, having grown so fond of this mis-matched group of kids that have been placed in your care for the weekdays.
“I trust y’all had a good weekend?” You ask them, met with a chorus of overlapping affirmations, and you chuckle at their response to immediately wantin’ to tell you all about everything they did on their days off. “Good, I’m glad. Now if you would buddy up and please take out your textbook, we’ll pick up where we left off on Friday.”
The McGuffey reader was your go-to book to teach the children with, it had everything you needed -- reading, writing, and arithmetic that was easy enough to understand by even the littlest of your students. It was broken down into repetition, phonetics, and even had lines to trace the letters and numbers, but more than that, it was the book you yourself had learned to read by, so you were familiar enough with it.
“Who would like to be the first to read what I’ve got written up on the board?” You ask, once they’ve all opened their books to the appropriate page, a handful of eager students at once clamoring to volunteer.
And so, like any other day, the morning turned to afternoon, and the afternoon turned to evening. When the bells rang to dismiss the class, the children groaned, knowing that meant they had to go home where their family would likely put them to work in the field or in the kitchen for an hour before supper.
“Thank you for another wonderful day children, y’all be good for your parents now, you hear?” You try to encourage them to cheer up, even if it did warm your heart that they liked learning from you so much. “Oh, Rickie? Could you come here for a minute? You’re not in trouble, I promise.”
Sitting at your desk for a moment, you saw the earring that you had stashed in your drawer from the evening prior, and you fish it out as the ten year old skips over to you, his mousy brown hair flopping around as he does. You smile, thinkin’ that he might do to ask for a trim when he gets home.
“Yes ma’am?” Rickie stands before the desk, and you hand him the earring, his eyes going wide as he recognizes it.
“Could you do me a big favor and deliver this to your Mama? She must’ve dropped it here last night and I’m sure she’s goin’ crazy lookin’ for it.” You smile, and he nods happily.
“She sure is! Earned myself a smack upside the head I did, when she thought I snatched it from her dresser!” Rickie laughs, clearly glad to have been vindicated.
“Well I’m sure she’ll be sorry when you bring it back to her, let her know I was the one who had it, not you.” You smile back warmly at him, but he’s already runnin’ out of the schoolhouse, callin’ another thanks and a goodbye behind him as he goes.
Only a moment or two before the last of your students are gone, is there a knock on the door.
He doesn’t wait for an answer before coming in anyway, and you look up with a frown to see who would be so rude as to invite themselves, until you recognize the sheriff and put a forced smile upon your face.
“Hello sheriff, how are you this fine evenin’?” You present yourself as politely as possible, as the man’s spurs clink while those heavy boots of his walk across your floors, trackin’ mud in from the outside with little care.
You didn’t like him, the sheriff. Didn’t like the way you caught him starin’ at you sometimes, didn’t like the way you caught him starin’ at the girls in your class. He was one of the oldest fellas in town, maybe three times your age. He’s starin’ at you now, eyein’ you up and down in a way that makes your skin crawl.
“I’m doin’ well honey, thank you.” The sheriff chews on some tobacco, a habit you can’t stand, before pointin’ out the door behind him and askin’ with a stern voice, “That boy wasn’t givin’ you any trouble, was he?”
“Rickie? No of course not, he’s a good kid.” You’re quick to reply, not wantin’ to cause any trouble for the young farmboy. You and the sheriff look at each other for a moment or two, before you grow more and more uncomfortable, busyin’ your hands with the worksheets that’ve been left on your desk to grade. You clear your throat, “Is -- has somethin’ happened?”
“Naw, I just wanted to come by and see ya before your night class starts.” The sheriff’s spurs clink clink clink over to the desk where he sits himself down, right on the wooden table-top.
“Well, here I am. Can I offer you somethin’ to drink? Coffee?” You try your best to be polite, hoping that one of your night students -- adults from the town who never got to go to school when they were young -- might show up and come to your rescue.
“Not tonight, thank you.” He replies, making you sigh out with relief against your better judgement. He doesn’t notice, instead you can feel his gaze on your chest, “But, if you’re free this friday evenin’, I’d love to take you up on that offer.”
“Oh...I see.” Bile rising up in the back of your throat, you shake your head and try to reject him as politely as possible, voice clipped yet firm as you move from around the desk to the chalk-board where you erase the children’s lesson and prepare for the adult’s. “Sheriff, I’m sorry but, I’m not quite interested in seein’ anyone at present.”
“And why’s that?” He doesn’t leave you alone, and you begin to panic with the way he’s steppin’ closer to you, knowin’ that if he traps you against the board, there won’t be a clear path to escape.
“Well it ain’t allowed for a woman to be datin’ while she’s a schoolteacher.” You explain, your voice starting to wobble.
Something about that makes him chuckle, somethin’ sinister, his blackened teeth from all that damn tobacco too close to your face when he grins.
“Must be awfully lonely,” Sheriff runs his hand up your arm, “Missin’ the comfort of a man at night.”
“It’s not.” Your body shudders in revolt, and you try to side step him, blood pounding in your ears, eyes wide in distress as you feel sweat bead up and trickle down the back of your thigh, “I appreciate your concern but -- ”
“Let me just get one kiss then.” He doesn’t let you go that easily, grabbing your arm harshly and dragging you over to one of the desks where he pushes you with a rough shove. His hand grips your cheek too hard, forcing your mouth to pucker as you fight him.
“Sheriff, I said no -- please get away from me -- I don’t -- don’t touch me!!” You knee him hard straight in the groin, your panicked scream alerting the adults who had thankfully, miraculously, decided to show up for evening class early.
“Miss (L/N)!” A couple of cattle ranchers kick the door open and run to your side, tugging you away from the sheriff who laughs loudly. You smell the stench of alcohol on him, realizing he’s drunk as all hell, and cling to the strong rancher, tears threatening to spill over your eyes.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch our teacher again!” One of the ranchers, a nice man named Francisco, holds you tightly, protectively. You always liked Francisco, he treated you like a daughter he never got to have. The other, Jedidiah, stands firmly next to you, so ready to lunge at the sheriff that you can’t help but feel immense gratitude towards them.
“Everythin’s just fine son, run along now.” The sheriff chuckles, but neither Francisco nor Jedidiah move a muscle.
“Sheriff I think you need to leave.” Mustering up as much of your courage as possible, you speak clearly, willing your voice not to shake as the safety of Francisco’s arms give you strength, “Class begins soon, I’m sorry.”
The ranchers stare the sheriff down, and he stares back, before noddin’ with a sick understandin’ that you reckon means this won’t be the last you see of him. Spittin’ his tobacco onto the floor, that same floor he sullied with the mud under his boots after the children had so lovingly cleaned it with you, the sheriff turned on his heel and left, pausin’ at the doorway for a moment to send you a dark, threatenin’ chuckle, “You will be.”
“Are you alright Miss (L/N)? Did he hurt you?” Jedidiah takes his cap off and kneels in front of you, tryin’ to appear as non-threatenin’ as possible. Francisco releases his hold on you, and checks you for any marks or signs of stress, but you just let out a shudderin’ breath and shake your head. You’re not sure which question that’s meant to answer, but they don’t press you.
“Who do we call when the sheriff’s the one acting out?” Francisco wonders aloud, and you feel like there’s lead in your belly, because he’s right.
The only way you’d likely be able to avoid the sheriff and his wrath would be to leave town altogether, and well, you couldn’t do that. Who would keep after the students then?
There wasn’t any trouble during the lesson that evening, much to your satisfaction. The later it got in the night, the more you felt relieved, surely if the sheriff was going to cause trouble, he would’ve done so by now. Your students can tell that there’s something off about you though, a few of them approachin’ you after the class was done, wonderin’ if there was anythin’ they could do.
In hindsight, you wonder how different your life would’ve been, had you asked to stay with one of them for the evening, or had you asked one of them to stay with you.
The chokin’ woke you up, before anythin’ else. Smoke, thick black plumes of it pouring out of the windows, the doors. Smoke in your lungs that had your body joltin’ up and out of the little bed up in the attic where you lived above the schoolhouse, had you rollin’ onto the floor in a panic.
“No!” You shout, as the heat of red orange yellow flames begins to lick up the walls, eatin’ away at the wood structure of the building, the whole thing two steps from bein’ a blazin’ bonfire out in the field, “Oh god, oh god no!”
Frantic, you run, mind going blank, trying to focus on grabbin’ the important things, only the important things; a photo of your family, the money out of the dresser, a copy of your favorite book. That was it, all you had that you could think to grab, before trying for the door.
The handle burns, and you scream, shaking the pain away from the blisteringly hot doorknob. You’re fucked, oh you’re so fucked, you think as you back up enough to barrel your way through the door, the wood shattering and splintering. The fire reached all the way up to the attic, there was nowhere you could escape. You could jump out the window, but you’d break your neck landin’ on the hard ground. Outside, someone yells, revelin’ in the way that you scream.
“If I can’t have you, ain’t nobody gets to have you, hear that? You hear that bitch?” The sheriff cackles tauntingly, and the fear of death drips icy cold down your back, compels you to run as fast as you can down the wooden rickety stairs, into the blaze.
If you can just get out, if only you can get out of this building, maybe you’ll survive, maybe you --“No!”
One of the stairs has shattered beneath your feet, your foot stomping straight through it, trapped. You cough and hack up the smoke, it’s stinging your eyes, it’s in your lungs, soot in your mouth, you can’t see, oh god it’s so hot, the flames are surrounding you, and your foot is stuck through the stairs.
“Please, please come on you’re strong enough for this, you have to be strong enough for this, come on.” You sob, willing yourself, yanking your foot out in harsh movements as the laughter screeches around you in a drunken stupor.
Eventually, in all your efforts, the structure of the stairs give away entirely, and you try to grab onto something as the floor falls beneath your feet, sending you crashing down into the classroom below. The fire’s taken everything here; the wallpaper, the tables and chairs, even the shiny apple that Wendy sat on your desk, all reduced to ash, cracking and spitting in the flames.
You’ve hit your head from the fall, you can’t move. Somethin’s pinned your legs, you can’t feel nothin’. At least there ain’t any smoke down here, all of it risin’ up up up through the building. The smoke pushes the bells, make them toll. You wonder if they’re callin’ the Reaper, tears slippin’ down your cheeks.
“All the books, oh the poor children.” You whisper, thinkin’ of them all, watchin’ as the textbooks singe to nothingness, knowin’ that soon your body will follow, “Who’s going to teach the children?”
-----------------------
Kylo’s arm is around you, you realize, out there in the present. He’s stock-still, face gone pale, somber. He’s crying, you realize, jaw clenched tight, the muscle in his cheek flexing from the force of it. You’re crying too, wetness on your face. You watch as a tear plips into the rabbit stew, and you’re not entirely sure if it’s one of yours, or Kylo’s.
“The rest of the town came to my rescue, once the flames got so bright you could see ‘em from across the fields. They thought I was dead, when they found me.” You clear your throat, rememberin’ the details of the story that you had only found out after the fact, “I was covered in soot, breathed too much of it in, I wasn’t wakin’ up. I later found out that the sheriff didn’t let them give me a funeral, just told them to stick me in a coffin and gave me a shallow grave.”
Kylo remains quiet, but the arm around you tightens. You’re reminded of Francisco then, how he had protected you. You wonder where he is, what he’s doing. If he ever got to have a daughter.
“I was glad for that part at least, it wasn’t too hard to dig my way back out when I woke up. I must’ve only been there for a couple hours, the dirt wasn’t packed tight or nothin’, thankfully.” You sigh, not knowing when to stop, now knowin’ how to do any of this, how to be vulnerable like this. You ain’t had to be vulnerable in a long, long time.
“Must’ve been out of my mind, I had never thought about killin’ anyone before, you know. I was more angry about the loss of the school than I was for my own life, if you can believe. I hunted him down, the sheriff. He thought I was a ghost, and he hid from me. I found him in the end, doused him in kerosene and lit the sonofabitch on fire right on his front porch.”
You lean your head on Kylo’s shoulder, and ever so gently, he rests his cheek against you back.
“I was sixteen then, and “I’ve been burnin’ shit down to the ground ever since.” You whisper, voice almost lost by the trickle of the river as it flows down to Colorado.
“I’m sorry.” Kylo says, snuffling into your hair a little bit, holdin’ you close, a silent promise.
“It ain’t your fault.” You reply, fightin’ that sour feelin’ in the back of your throat, nudging your face a little closer into his neck.
“If I had been there, I would’ve helped you.” He says, even though you both know that there ain’t no changin’ the past.
“You’re here now.” You pull back enough to look at him, really look at him right in the eyes.
“Yeah, I am.” He nods.
You wonder, sometimes how life might’ve been different, but after all is said and done, this is the life you’ve got.
Kylo lies down then, one arm extended out from his body, an offer.
You don’t think twice about it, when you lay down next to him, your head usin’ that arm as a pillow. It wraps around your shoulder, tuggin’ you to Kylo’s chest, and for the first time in a long time, when you sleep, you don’t dream.
"I've always wished to be laid when I died
In a little churchyard on the green hillside
By my father's grave, there let me be,
O bury me not on the lone prairie."
"I wish to lie where a mother's prayer
And a sister's tear will mingle there.
Where friends can come and weep o'er me.
O bury me not on the lone prairie."
"For there's another whose tears will shed.
For the one who lies in a prairie bed.
It breaks me heart to think of her now,
She has curled these locks, she has kissed this brow."
"O bury me not..." And his voice failed there.
But they took no heed to his dying prayer.
In a narrow grave, just six by three
They buried him there on the lone prairie.
And the cowboys now as they roam the plain,
For they marked the spot where his bones were lain,
Fling a handful o' roses o'er his grave
With a prayer to God his soul to save.
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Taggin' some Kylo lovin' friends!
@mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @materialisthicc @hswritingrecs @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @schopenhauerdeathsquad @loverofallthings @groovetoob @bxnnywriting @angel-bxby3 @smallgirlbigpersonality @lovelyyy-luna @2000andwhat @raddo1975 @cornmousequeen @metsienmenninkainen @caillea @painttheskylineforme @holding-on-to-starwars @kylo-ren-is-alive @caitlin-was-here @icarusinthesea @princessflip @goddessofsprings @mrs-gucci @baubub @bucky-j-barnes @mindyoshiii @beachwoodmonet @darkhairedmenrule @eagerforhoney @nekonaomitard @einmal-im-traum @justlenastuff @0nihiime
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spnshortcake · 2 years
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First Fanfic ever on Tumblr…. Hope you all like it…
If you have any requests just ask! And I’ll try to get to them! I’m pregnant so I sometimes forget things so just bare with me!!
Please don’t use any of my writings these are all my original ideas!
Let’s get into the fic ;)
Readers POV
I’ve been with the winchesters for about three years now, it’s been great But I just have one problem.
I have a massive crush on the tall moose of a man named Sam Winchester. Of course I haven’t told him. We have all been best friends since we have met. I don’t want to ruin that. Everything he does just makes me blush, running his fingers through his hair, eating, smiling , even when he kills a monster that does it for me. I wake up in my bed getting ready for the hunt we have today. Damn demons. We hate them black eyed bitches. They are so malicious when hunting we just have to always think one step ahead.
I get my duffel bag ready as a soft knock on my door happens and Dean pokes his head in.
“You ready y/n (your name)?” He says looking around.
“Yeah just putting the rest of my things in the duffel” i say as I throw my strap over my shoulder walking toward the door. We all make it to the impala ad start making our drive to the next hotel room. The drive was silent , well except for deans rock music blaring through the radio. We finally make it to the hotel room and gather our thoughts for the hunt.
“Let’s take the night off maybe get something to eat and check out the bar across the street?” Dean states pointing to the little bar.
“I call shower first then.” Sam smiles walking to the bathroom shut if the door and when you hear the water running Dean looks at me smirking with his hands folded on his chest.
“What? Why are you staring at me?” Y/n says looking down messing with her duffel bag.
“How long has that been going on?” Dean chuckles
“Dean , how long has what been going on?” I look up at him confused.
“Y/n don’t play dumb, your in love with my brother and I just figured it out. How long has that been going on?” He puts his hand on his hip leaning on the table typical Dean.
“ psht.. please Dean your not seeing anything now leave me alone.” I blush turning away from him. Is it really that obvious? And if Dean figured it out has he? No y/n stop it deans just messing with you.
“Y/n you know I’m not lying I can see the way you look at him when he isn’t looking. Have you told him?” Dean keeps pushing
“No Dean I haven’t obviously. Now please drop it” I finally tell him. Which probably wasn’t the best idea of mine I should say so myself.
“I knew it! And you haven’t why? You should what are you gonna lose just tell him. Maybe after his shower!”
“Dean stop it! I can’t what if he doesn’t like me back and I embarrass myself and lose him as a friend?” I whisper to him.
“You just never know y/n gotta tell the boy or you’ll never know. I’ll get us a table at the bar. See y’all both there” and with that Dean finally leaves. As on cue small walks out the shower with just a damn towel on it was so hard not to look, lord he is just perfect.
“Did Dean leave already? He is always down for a whiskey” Sam chuckles putting on his flannel.
“Yeah, he said he is getting us a table at the bar since it’s getting busier.” I looked away to not have him notice my blush. Maybe I should take deans advice and just tell him. WAIT Y/N NO! never ever take deans dating advice. I fight with my thoughts in my head.
“Sam, can I tell you something? And please don’t say anything til I’m finished?” I nervously say..
“Y/n how long have we known each other? You can tell me anything, what’s up?” Same smiles at him. He is such a good friend.
“Never mind sam it’s nothing.” I say putting my jacket on and sam gives me that bitch look he always does when someone says something that he doesn’t like.
“Well now you have to tell me. Y/n don’t just say that and then say nevermind. What is it?” Sam says looking at me sitting on the edge of his motel bed.
“I I ugh fine sam I’ve been hiding this from you for so long. I love you. I just can’t keep it in anymore” I look at my feet.
“Y/n , you know we are hunters we don’t deserve love , we can’t do that we are just better off as friends.” Sam says without any hesitation.
“You know your right, yeah.” I say holding back my tears he doesn’t feel the same way. I knew it. This is what I get for taking damn deans advice. “Let’s just go find Dean at the bar.” I say back to him. We walk in dreadful silence and find Dean at the closest table to us. “I’m gonna get us a beer be right back” sam says as he heads to the bar and I sit down by Dean. Sighing.
“Did you tell him?” Dean smirks filling his face with cheese fries.
“Dean stop. I did. He doesn’t feel the same just drop it he is coming back.” I say looking the other way toward the band that’s playing. Sam puts my beer down in front of me and I take it without a word and never looked at him.
I just wanna drown myself in the music I don’t even wanna see Sam. I knew he wouldn’t feel the same way. Hunters we don’t get to love we just fight. I hope this hunt goes by fast so we can just get back to the bunker.
Sams POV
She likes me… no loves me. I can’t even concentrate on my research. And I just shot her down. She probably just hates me now. It’s probably for the best anyways us hunters can’t have our mind on something else other than the hunt that’s how we end up dead. We finally make it back to the bunker and she hasn’t even spoken to either one of us since she told me. I feel like a complete idiot.
Dean sits infront of me with a mug look.
“Why the hell did you reject y/n you and I both know you love her as much as she loves you.” He spits out.
“Dean we just can’t you know what happens to people we care about. It’s just better if we are friends” I sigh closing the lore book.
“Oh don’t give me that crap she is a hunter just like us and a bad ass on at that she took down 3 demons last night without even help most people can’t even do that. You deserve to be happy.”
I look over my shoulder making sure she wasn’t around. Who am I kidding she went straight to her room once we got here. I am such an idiot.
Readers POV
I fall on my bed letting the tears fall I can’t believe he doesn’t feel the same way. I should’ve seen this coming.
A soft knock breaks me from my thoughts.
“Dean go away. I’m tired”
“It’s not Dean it’s Sam. Can we talk.” He says from the other side of the door.
“Maybe tomorrow sam. I’m exhausted” he doesn’t take that as a no and just walks in looking at me.
“Your crying.. what have I done?” Sam walks towards me and I turn the opposite way and wipe the tears with my sleeve.
“Just go away sam you didn’t do anything it was me who ruined everything. Shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.” I say looking at the wall and feel my bed side dip as he sat down.
“I’m sorry I said that to you y/n , please forgive me. I am just scared of losing you. Everytime we care about someone in this life they just get taken from us. Please I do like you alot I just didn’t know how to say it.” Sam pleads. He puts his hand on your waist and makes you turn to him and he looks at you he takes his thumb and wipes the rest of your tears away. “Y/n , please just give me another chance. Let me make it up to you.” Sam looks at you.
“Y-you like me?” I say as I sit up.
“Yes y/n a lot. We can figure it out. Nothing will happen to you I’ll make sure of that.” He smiles making me blush “I do make you blush a lot Dean says”
We both chuckle. And that’s the start of a beautiful relationship with the moose.
WHAT DID YOU THINK?!? Please be honest! Next one will be Dean! Any ideas you wanna read please just let me know
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daggersandarrows · 2 years
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i think almost every single issue i have with the cr fandom can be summed up with the responses that i got when i said “molly is yasha’s soulmate”.
“ummm eww, she’s a lesbian?”
there’s so many problems with this one i’ll just take it from the top.
yasha was not confirmed a lesbian (by someone else, btw) until we were in the triple digits. this fandom hates the possibility of bi women so bad it’s embarrassing. y’all know how often i see people call keyleth and vex het? and allura a lesbian?
yes, AND? how does her being a lesbian invalidate her having a soulmate who isn’t a woman. how. i’ll wait. as far as i know “lesbian” means “is attracted solely to women/women adjacent people”. why do soulmates have to have anything to do w attraction.
“gross, yasha is not attracted to a man”
sigh.
first off, see the first point, soulmate does not necessitate attraction.
second off, even if it did, mollymauk is not and never was a man--or at least not solely. and he’s not a cis man, goddammit, which is what the more insidious version of this argument looks like--”yasha isn’t attracted to a cishet man”. also he’s BI.
this wasn’t a late reveal or anything either. in EPISODE GODDAMN TWO we have confirmation of nonbinary molly.
molly ids as genderfluid. now idk how yasha thinks of her own sexuality, but if she wanted to include him in hers then...that’s...okay. it is. stop arguing. there are *plenty* of lesbians dating genderfluid people out there.
“you mean PLATONIC soulmate right haha”
i mean, i could mean that. i could. i could also mean other things this doesn’t have to mean platonic or i’m a terrible person.
this is where i’m sure im gonna lose some people: in addition to the above points about genderfluid molly, let’s just consider for a moment that i did not in fact mean platonic soulmate. or romantic actually.
let’s think about what it means if i meant sexual soulmate.
“thane what does that even mean what are you talking about”
i don’t know! soulmate has extremely variable definitions some of which are highly amatonormative but for right now let’s just say someone whose sex life meshes with yours so well that it feels like you were made to have sex with them.
this fandom has a huge and i mean HUGE problem with thinking that sex = romance and that sex MUST under ALL circumstances = sexual attraction. also the understand of consent is so poor here my god
i don’t have the time energy or brain to get into ace shit here and trust me i’ve been treated horribly by both allos and aces alike for how my identity presents itself but i will just say this
i have never been sexually attracted to anyone i’ve had sex with.
i have never been ROMANTICALLY attracted to anyone i’ve had sex with.
i like having sex.
i also know kind of a LOT of people who have sex with people who are “outside” of their identity. this isn’t an uncommon thing, very online tumblr gays.
for some reason people HATE that here. but my point is: if yasha and molly were fucking it doesn’t change anyone’s identity and it didn’t have to involve any attraction at all, and if you don’t want to see that that’s absolutely valid but it does NOT give you the right to read every thoroughly tagged fic and leave nasty hate comments or worse for the author because of it. (i’m looking at you, allos who decided to run ace fjorclay shippers off the internet.)
and last but not least, the fact that so many people violently object to this statement that i made--angry, indignant, accusing me of hatespeech, etc, when it’s word for word something that ashley said, right next to where she was comparing molly to, y’know, yasha’s literal wife. so. i can’t imagine how mad certain people would get if i made that comparison myself.
which brings me to my final point: i’m not sure that some of y’all are actually watching the same show as i am and it is very annoying for the rest of us.
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alynomali · 3 years
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Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader  “𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜”
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A/N : Hi hello i just got into tumblr and this is my first time writing a full on one shot in english because english is not my first language ;( so i’m sorry if there’s any error in my writing but i hope you guys can still enjoy the story :D anyway i’m on an iwaizumi hajime brainrot and i know y’all too so let’s just get into ittt ***** 
Genre : Fluff 
Word Count : 5k 
You woke up feeling lightheaded. You brought the back of your palm to feel your forehead that was burning hot hours ago. But after four hours of sleep and taking your medicine, the heat has subsided and was replaced by your normal body temperature. You sighed in relief but you still didn’t want to step up from your comfortable bed. Instead you rolled to the side to grab your phone that was laying on the nightstand, to get some info on school assignment, or any big news that you missed throughout today from your friends because you didn’t manage to go to school. When you turned off airplane mode, tons of messages from your close friend’s group chat rang loudly with multiple  ringing sounds, coming one after another. When the ringing finally stops, you open the group chat and skim through the chat bubbles your friends sent, curious to what they are discussing.
“Oh? They lost?” you murmur to yourself after getting an understatement. Today is the match of your school’s volleyball team against Karasuno High School. From the people who went and saw the match, it was pretty intense and they were neck to neck to one another. But in the end Karasuno won and they only a point difference from Aoba Johsai. The further you read the chats, one caught your attention
 I saw Oikawa toss the ball to Iwaizumi from the right end of the court and Iwaizumi got to spike it perfectly! That was crazyy
 Yeah, but even with that perfect toss and powerful spike, Karasuno managed to get it. Both team are crazyyy
 I saw Iwaizumi-kun cried In the hallway, poor him. He must’ve think that that one spike was important
 Aww no
 You slowly sat up from your bed, while still reading those lines over and over again. “Iwaizumi…” you mumbled to the air. You then checked the clock hanging on your bedroom wall, you saw that it was 7.56PM. ‘He should be home already..’
 You heard a knock on your door, and your mom peeked through. “Oh you’re awake! How are you feeling?”
“Great! My fever is gone”
“If that’s so, can you go to Hajime’s house? His mother and father are working late and he probably hasn’t had dinner, so drop these for him okay?” asked your mother while holding a nicely wrapped box probably filled with food.
 “Uh yeah okay. I’ll get ready”
 It is not a secret. To you, your close friends, and specifically Oikawa Tooru, that you have a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime. This has been going on for a long time, since the beginning of second grade. You got to be in the same class as Iwaizumi. At first you were a bit scared of him due to the somewhat tense atmosphere surrounding him, but turns out, he is the nicest guy you ever met. He spoke in a deep and gruff voice, but there’s so much tenderness in the way he speaks. His arms and hands are big and calloused from playing too much volleyball, but whenever he accidentally touches you, he is always so careful with his grip, or makes sure that he doesn’t touch you in an inappropriate way. His tall figure always towers over your 160 cm figure, but it made you feel secure. And there are many small acts he does to you that always make something in your stomach flip. You know that those are just the way he respects the opposite gender (from your observation), but it still made him so attractive to you. Plus he looks cute and manly although not you can call a worldwide handsome. Also  He probably hid a well toned body underneath the layers of cloth he wears. Before you got too far and deep into your thoughts of that man, you quickly shook your head to focus on your current mission right now. Iwaizumi probably is sulking as hell right now and you want to do something nice for him, or maybe just there to give him reassurance.
 iwaizumi’s house is just seven minutes walk from your house. Before you rang the bell, you noticed that the gate was not locked. “Did he forget to lock it?” you opened the gate and made your way to the also not locked door. You saw his training bag in the hallway entrance, meaning that Iwaizumi is home. But you were glad that there were no signs of robbery. “Iwaizumi?” you called him. The living room and dining room were clean and empty. Not even a slightest sound was heard. “He’s probably in his room”. You climbed up the stairs and saw that the door of his room is slightly open and you could see him inside drying his hair with a towel, back facing you
You knocked on the door and Iwaizumi jumped slightly. “y/n? How did you get in?”. You sighed, “You left the front door and gate open,”. “Oh.., wait here then I’ll go lock it,” Iwaizumi then went downstairs leaving you sitting alone in his room on his study chair. You’ve gone to his bedroom a couple times but this time it feels different. The room is filled with his scent of cologne and shampoo from his shower earlier. You carefully breathe it in and a blush crept to your cheeks, just in time Iwaizumi stepped back in the room “Okay wha- wait, why are your face red?”
You flustered, “What! N-No I’m perfectly fine! Maybe it’s because of my fever earlier, hahahaha.”
Iwaizumi raised a brow, “Okay? Anyway, why are you here?” he asks as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from you.
“O-Oh yea, um, my mother made you dinner. She said that your parents will be home late,” you said holding up the wrapped box in your hand.
“I already ate but i guess there’s still space for your mom’s cooking. Say my thanks for her,” you smiled at his words.
“Should I walk you back? It’s dark.”
“What? No, it’s not even 8pm and my house is just seven minutes away.”
“Okay then, thankyou again. Be careful on your way back.”
‘Wait? No no no no, I can’t just go home like this. He’s probably not going to eat his food and be sulking instead,” You stood up. Iwaizumi thought you were going to leave so he grabbed his phone on the nightstand and got comfortable on his bed with his back resting against the headboard. He didn’t sense your figure leaving his room so his eyes left his phone to look at you, “why are you still here? It’s not appropriate for a girl to stay in a boy’s room.”
“You did very well today, Iwaizumi.”
“huh?”
You clutched your fingers, “You did so well in the match today. I’m proud of you. Never think that you lost because of a big mistake. You didn’t make any mistake. You gave your best as you always do. Winning or losing is just a result. What matters is that even if you lost, you still gave all your might in the court. All of your hard work, your sneaky practices at the park in the late afternoon, it’s all worth it. Because you gave it all in the court today. Nothing goes to waste.”
Your voice was stern, but there’s a hint of tenderness in it. Iwaizumi just looked at you dumbfounded . After a while, Iwaizumi gave you a soft smile “Thanks, sorry we didn’t keep our promise to go to nationals.”
“Don’t mind me. That is your promise to yourself.”
“Right.”
After that, you still stood there. Arms crossed on your chest. Iwaizumi eyed you in confusion. “What…? Is there again?”
You then sat on the bed beside him, arms still crossed on your chest, “You’re gonna cry. I’m gonna stay here to accompany you until you’re done.”
“What?! No, I'm fine, you should go home now.”
“I’m not gonna let you be alone until you feel better,” you said sternly
“W-Wha- ugh..” Iwaizumi turned his face to the side, not facing you as he can no longer contain the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since he was greeted by the emptiness of his house. Because of the silence, replays of today’s match became clear in his mind. Every step, every move, every shout of frustration , every cheer of happiness, and the last whistle signaling the end of the game. It was awfully clear, every bit of it, and it made him feel hopeless. Like there’s nothing that he can do. His shoulder began to shake, and you could hear soft sobs. It’s like he’s holding back to scream because you’re there.
You never actually see Iwaizumi cry and now being alone with him is his weakest state flustering you. You did say that you’re gonna accompany him but now you’re confused as to what to do. You stayed silent, just watching him. He still doesn’t face you and his sobs became softer. You don’t like this, he’s holding back so much because you’re there. This is probably supposed to be his time, when he shut his door, turned off the lights, and curled under the blanket. Letting out all of his frustration into anything he can manage. But then you decided to come. You hate to admit it but you ruined his time.
But still, you didn’t want to leave.
So instinctively, you reached out your hand to touch the back of his neck. You can feel Iwaizumi tensed up a little. As he slowly turned his head to finally look at you, you and your hand up further to the back of his head, fingers buried in his soft brunette hair. Iwaizumi’s red and teary eyes looked at you in slight confusion, and you stared back at him with a pang in your heart. Seeing his hurting expression for the first time feels like something stabbed your chest. ‘So this is what it feels like.. when you care so much about someone..’
Without another hesitation, you lean your body towards him and let his head fall on your shoulder. The warmth of his body envelopes you and you can feel the sturdiness of his body. You wrapped both of your arms on his shoulder, trapping him in a hug. Your fingers stayed buried in his hair as you started to give it a soft scratch in an attempt to soothe him. “I said I’ll accompany you. So vent all you want. I’m listening.”
You couldn’t see iwaizumi’s expression. But you could feel his body relaxed to your soft touches and he began to cry loudly, “Damn it! Damn those Karasuno..! I-I too.. I want to go to the nationals too fucking damn it!! I want to go with my friends too… with my juniors.. damnit! Damnit argh!!” you  tighten your grip on him cause you feel like he’s going to burst. But you’re glad that he doesn’t move away from you. He was always so physical about these things, but now he just uses his words and emotions.
After some minutes, the hurtful scream and cry gradually turns into a soft sobbing. Your grip around his shoulder soften as Iwaizumi slowly moves away from you. “S-Sorry for ranting and um.. hugging you,” he sniffed and rubbed away the remaining tears leaking out.
You smile, “Don’t worry, but it feels good doesn’t it?”. He chuckled softly, “yeah.”
You fiddled with your fingers on your lap, “I’m sure everyone is feeling the same as you, Iwaizumi. I’m sorry I barged in into your supposed to be alone time. But I just couldn’t help it, I just can’t go to sleep tonight thinking about how you will have trouble sleeping. The others maybe will, but I won’t let you. Because you’re-- um..” you immediately stopped your words. Because just now you were just about to say the thing. Being alone with him and getting caught up in the mood urges you to, but you reminded yourself that you can’t do that, not when he’s in this state.
“What about me?” Iwaizumi tilted his head to the side, eyeing you in confusion.
You immediately shot up from his bed and gave him a wide smile, “Nothing! Anyway, enjoy your food. I should get going now,” you said while pointing towards the door.
“Uh? Oh yeah okay, I’ll open the gate for you,” you were tailing behind Iwaizumi as the two of you were heading downstairs. Luckily for Iwaizumi, you couldn’t see heat creeping up to his cheeks and he is starting to register what just happened between you two.
‘Nah, she can’t be…. Right?’
                              ~------------------------------------------------~
 The next day, you woke up from the ringing of your smartphone placed on your nightstand. You didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and just answer, “Ugh.. hello?”
“Did you just wake up?” Iwaizumi’s deep and gruff voice from the other line jolts you up from your sleeping position, “I-Iwaizumi??”
“I want to return the lunch box from last night. I had been ringing the bell but no one came out.”
“Ah right sorry. My parents left early to my grandparents house. I’ll be there wait a second”
When you opened the door you were greeted by the sight of Iwaizumi looking nice and neat in a pair of black jeans and a slightly oversized denim jacket over a grey hoodie. Your breath hitch at the sight of him until he starts talking, “Here” he handed the clean lunch box to you, nicely wrapped as well “The food was good, thank you”
“Yeah, you're welcome. Um.. are you going somewhere?” You asked while accepting the lunch box.
“I’m going to see Karasuno and Shiratorizawa match,” he said, putting his hands inside his pocket.
Concern filled your expression, “Are you feeling alright?”
He smiled softly, “Yeah, I can’t stay bummed out for too long.”
“That’s good then!” You beamed with a smile.
“I’ll be going then. When will your parents come back home?”
“Um.. maybe at night. They said they're gonna be there for a while.”
“And why aren’t you coming with them?” he asks again.
“I’m starting to prepare for the college entrance exam,” you said while rubbing the back of your neck .
“Ah, that’s nice. Well then, goodluck on it. Be careful, if anything happens, call me or Oikawa” he said, turning his back towards you. This soft part of Iwaizumi showing that he cares about you always makes your heart flutter and makes you fell deeper for him.
“Y-Yeah.. thank you..” and with that, you closed the door. You sighed as you tried to calm the loud thumping of your heart.
You mumbled, “Maybe.. I can do it today.. he seems to be in  a good mood.”
You looked down towards the ground, thinking hard, “Confession huh…”
                                     ~----------------------------------~
 Later that day, Karasuno vs Shiratorizawa match ended with Karasuno as the winner thus continuing to the national stage. Surprisingly to Iwaizumi he met Oikawa in one of the seats and now they are walking together out of the gymnasium.
“Hey Iwa-chan~, let’s go grab some food. I’m feeling like shit,” Oikawa said with a scowl on his face, his nose scrunched
“Then don’t come to see the match if you’re gonna be like this!”
“Stop being so rude and treat your best friend nicely for once will ya?!” Oikawa said with his arms folded on his chest.
Iwaizumi sighed, didn’t want to deal with Oikawa’s words any further, “Fine let’s go get something to eat,”
“Yay~! Let’s eat at a fast food restaurant!”
Along the way to the nearest fast food restaurant, Iwaizumi’s mind was wandering everywhere. Oikawa started to notice this because his friend had been bumping into stuff during their short walk. Oikawa bumped Iwaizumi’s shoulder to get his attention. He slightly jolted and he glanced at him, “What?”
“Is there something on your mind?”
“Huh? No, why?”
Oikawa sighed, “Really, Iwa-chan. You should be more honest. You almost stepped on a kid back there.”
Iwaizumi only huffed at Oikawa’s words.
“Is it a girl??”
“Can you shut up.”
“A girl it is!” Oikawa beamed, “Who is it? Who is it??”
“No I’m not thinking of that!” Lies. The truth is he was thinking of you. About what happened last night. About how you gave him the warmest hug he ever received. How you convey your words of comfort to him. He may have kept a dumbfounded face at that time but the truth is thousands of butterflies were raging inside his whole body. He didn’t know if it was because he has a thing for you or if it’s because he was flustered because you’re a girl and he is a boy. He never really thought of fawning over somebody. All he thinks about is just studying and volleyball. Yahaba and Kindaichi always prattle about how much they want a girlfriend but he’s never really into those kinds of conversation. But what if he’s finally getting his first ever love story now? He’ll be damned because he’s never prepared himself for these kinds of things, even though he’s almost 19 years old.
So he decides to swallow hard his ego and eyed his gaudy bestfriend intensely, before he forces words out of his mouth “Um.. O-Oikaw—”
“Oh! Is that y/n-chan?” Oikawa suddenly said as he pointed a finger to get Iwaizumi to also look at where you were standing. Oikawa is about to call you when Iwaizumi suddenly blurted out
“W-Wait! Don’t call her!”
Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi confused, but then his lips formed a cheeky grin “Humm?? What’s this?”
Iwaizumi's face turns beet red, “A-Ah! No I-I’m—Um..” Iwaizumi wanted to die instantly at that exact moment because now Oikawa is clearly holding back his laughter. A mischievous grin is plastered on Oikawa’s face as he ignored Iwaizumi and made his way towards you calling out your name, “Y/n-chaann~!”
Iwaizumi gritted his teeth while covering half of his face with his hand “Fuck that shittykawa,”
You were standing on the side, beside the trashcan as you are currently finishing your drink so you can quickly throw it onto the trashcan. Until the familiar voice of Oikawa beamed through the street, making you quickly snap your head to the side to see Oikawa currently walking towards you with Iwaizumi behind him.
“Oikawa! Iwaizumi!”
“Yahoo, what you doing here alone?” asked Oikawa.
“I just came from the bookstore. I’m looking for stuff to help me study,” you answered, throwing your empty drink into the trashcan.
“Me and Iwa-chan are going to eat right now, do you wanna come? Iwa-chan really wants you to come apparently,” Oikawa said wiggling his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.
“HUH?!” Iwaizumi was beating the shit out of Oikawa while you only stood there smiling awkwardly.
“Uhm yeah sure I’ll come.” You answered when they finally calmed down.
“Yay~ okay then let’s goo! And Iwa-chan stop being so jumpy and fidgety will you?”
“I’M NOT! Come on let’s go,” you eyed Iwaizumi worriedly, wondering if you did something wrong. So you reached Iwaizumi's side and asked him “Hey, are you alright?”
“Huh? Oh yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, sorry,” Iwaizumi said as he averted his eyes from you. Iwaizumi is acting weird when you join their walk to the restaurant just now, you didn’t want to think too much into it yet you can feel slight warmth creeping up your cheeks.
“We’re here!” After five minutes the three of them finally arrived at the said fast food restaurant. You offered to find a seat while Iwaizumi and Oikawa went to stand on the line to order. You finally sat yourself down and got yourself comfortable. Unknown to you, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are having their own convo about you.
“Is there something going on between you two?” Oikawa asks.
“…no���
“And I will say this to you over and over again, be honest Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi pondered for a moment before talking in a much quieter tone, “Yesterday.. y/n came to my house.”
Oikawa blinked, “What? Why?”
Iwaizumi grunted, reaching up his hand to rub the back of his neck to somehow ease the heat on his face, “Um.. she actually came to give me food because my parents are home late. And um.. after that…'' Iwaizumi trailed off, hiding his face from Oikawa.
“What! Don’t leave me hanging!” Oikawa then gasps, “Oh my god don’t tell me---!”
Iwaizumi quickly retorts, “No shithead! She just hugged me because she knows that we lost the game yesterday. And um I don’t know how to explain it but at that time, everything feels so intimate and uh- I don’t know…”
“Ohh~ So you’re in love?” Oikawa smirks.
To Oikawa’s surprise Iwaizumi didn’t yell or smack him in the head but only eyed him, “I don’t really know. I mean, I’ve always been so flustered whenever she does something for me. But I don’t know if it’s just because I feel nervous of the opposite sex.”
Oikawa tapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder, “Well my man, it doesn’t matter if you both are the opposite gender. If you don’t feel anything towards her then you will be comfortable in any kind of situation. Don’t worry I got your back, because I know you’re suck at this so I’ll make the chance so you two can have a talk together,” Oikawa said with a wink at the end.
“Ugh.. I can’t believe I’m getting advice from you… you look a hundred times more annoying right now.” Iwaizumi muttered.
“Rude Iwa-chan~!”
Suddenly people around them were silent and started whispering while looking in a certain direction. Oikawa and Iwaizumi stopped their bickering to try and see what’s going on. Not long after, there are two staff coming out from behind the counter to go to a certain table
“Miss, are you alright?”
“We have a change of clothes if you’d like..”
Iwaizumi pushed himself through the people gathering around the scene and saw that it was you. Your outfit was drenched in supposedly a drink, some of the liquid even splat onto the table and on the floor under too, making a mess.
“Y/n!” Iwaizumi goes into full panic as he runs towards you with Oikawa behind.
When they got to your side, Iwaizumi immediately asked, “What happened?! Are you alright?!”
“Yeah.. just now a guy came up to me and tried to ask for my number. I declined it but he just kept pushing me to do so, and I pissed him off so he threw the drink he was holding at me..” you let out a small laugh.
Iwaizumi gritted his teeth and punched his fist onto the table “Where is he now, that jerk!”
“It’s alright Iwaizumi! He already left. I’ll just go and change now, it’s not like things like this never happen anyways,” you gave him a reassuring smile. Iwaizumi looks at you in shock, “I mean for a stranger to hit on me! They are usually never that aggressive. I'll change now okay.” You said standing up from your seat, following the staff to get your change of cloth.
Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh and began to help clean the mess on the table. He shot a glare towards Oikawa who was just standing on the sideline, “What are you doing standing there trashykawa!”
Oikawa only smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t want to ruin your moment. You’d be a good protective boyfriend Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi only grumbled in response.
 After all of that commotion, the three of you still sat down and enjoyed the meal. Even though the staff told you three that the food will be at service, you didn’t think it was necessary so you still have your peaceful lunch with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. The conversation you guys had quickly washed away the tense atmosphere. Oikawa and Iwaizumi talk about the match earlier and how pissed they were that karasuno won. But they seem to be a lot more chill than yesterday so you just laugh it off with them. After that the three of you left the restaurant and walked back to your neighborhood.
You were still talking with Iwaizumi and Oikawa along the way. You seem to not notice but you were talking and smiling towards Iwaizumi more, it has always been like that whenever the three of you hung out. You and Iwaizumi always seem to gravitate towards one another and it’s making Oikawa feel like he’s third wheeling. But he’s not mad though, he finds it cute. Now he’ll just have to give both of them a push.
Oikawa halted his track and cleared his throat, “Guys sorry but I need to go somewhere.”
You and Iwaizumi both stopped talking and stopped your track as well, “Why so sudden, Oikawa?”
“No big deal, I just forgot to buy something my sister asked for. You guys can go home!” Oikawa then lightly put his hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, giving him a thumbs up and a big smile, telling him through his head ‘Good luck Iwa-chan!’
 Iwaizumi’s eyes widened, mouth went agape, ‘Now?! Wait, I’m not ready yet!’
“Bye you guys~!” Oikawa sprinted to the other direction, leaving Iwaizumi and you alone. ‘Damn that trashykawaaa….’
“Let’s go, Iwaizumi ,” you said softly. Iwaizumi quickly became flustered, “Uhh.. yeah right.”
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence while continuing the walk. You were looking around as you walked while Iwaizumi on the other hand was in deep thought, thinking of how to use this situation to make his move. His train of thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your sweet voice calling out to him, “Iwaizumi, do you want to drop by the park? There is this small taiyaki stand that I want to try.”
“Sure,” Iwaizumi said with a small smile.
It was a quite chilly day and a gush of wind just so happened to pass through you and Iwaizumi. You didn’t have your long sleeved because it was wet from an earlier accident and was replaced by a short sleeved one provided by the staff from the restaurant. They apologize that they didn’t have a much warmer cloth but you reassure them that it’s fine because your house is close by.
In the midst of trying to keep yourself warm by rubbing the side of your arms, you suddenly felt warmth on your back as a jacket draped over your shoulder. You look to the side to see that Iwaizumi took off his outer jacket and gave it to you, “You look uncomfortable, wear this in the meantime,” Iwaizumi muttered softly, trying to press down his embarrassment.
You felt your cheeks heated up, “T-Thankyou..” you slid your arms into the sleeve to wear his jacket properly. It was obviously too big for you and his scent immediately envelopes you.
The two of you reached the park and your face beamed a smile, “Thank goodness not many people here, the other day the line was quite long so I didn’t get it. Come on, Iwaizumi!” you said as you ran happily towards the stand. He smiled softly at the sight of your small figure on his clothes and followed you.
You both sat on a nearby bench eating your taiyaki, “Ah, it’s warm..” you took a bite and hummed in delight. Iwaizumi's heart flutters upon seeing your cute gestures.
“This really worth 350 yen isn’t it, Iwaizumi---” You looked at Iwaizumi and saw that he’s actually looking at you. You froze and felt your heart beat faster at how Iwaizumi looked at you with such adoreness. You went silent for a few seconds, just looking back at Iwaizumi until you whispered. “Um.. is there something on my face?”
“Yeah.. you’re beautiful,” Iwaizumi said softly with no expression.
“W-What?” you were taken aback.
Iwaizumi sighed and looked down to his hands, he fiddled his fingers as he spoke, “I’m not good at this kind of things.. so um..”
You waited for Iwaizumi to finish as your heart beats faster every second making it hard to breathe.
Iwaizumi grunted and rubbed the back of his neck, “Y-You know how you said that you sometimes.. got hit up by a random guy on the street and um.. I was thinking maybe it’ll be easier to brush them off if you.. you uh.. have a boyfriend…”
Your whole face now is red, “O-Okay..?”
Iwaizumi finally faced you, staring into your eyes, “I-I mean to say—I’ll be your boyfriend!”
You went silent and you only stared at him with your mouth agape.
“I have always been so flustered whenever I’m with you, and without noticing I get jealous when a guy approaches you, like I was so mad earlier when a guy—no, I’ll get mad at whoever did something like that to you. So uh.. I’ll be your boyfriend.. if you’d like… so I can always be there for you..” he trailed off towards the end.
You were so taken aback that you just fell silent. Iwaizumi covered his face from embarrassment, “Argh.. that is such an uncute way of confessing, I’m sorry I don’t---”
Suddenly you let out a laugh, Iwaizumi removed his hand from his face to look at you with a pout, “Don’t laugh at me!”
“Sorry sorry! But you are just so cute. I can’t believe you can be this cute,” you said with a smile still plastered on your face.
Iwaizumi grunted, “S-So.. what’s your answer?”
“Hmm.. but I’m kinda upset that you beat me into confessing..”
Iwaizumi’s head snapped towards you, “Wait what?”
“Last night I actually wanted to confess to you, but I thought that the timing would be bad so I’m thinking when I should do it. But it turns out you confess the day after. So I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about you,” you said giggling.
“Well, I guess you do always made me feel better,”
You both fell silent again. Iwaizumi nervously spoke again, “So.. are you saying yes?”
You smiled, giving him a quick peck on his cheek, “Of course~”
Iwaizumi slumped down on his seat, face already overheated, “I guess I have to get used to this..”
                                       ~-----------------------------------~
a/n : arrgghh i can’t believe i finish this, more iwa-chan fics will be coming soon because he’s a precious man :D
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cotccotc · 4 years
Text
┈┈ 𝐬𝐤𝐳 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 *:・゚
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✩ ot8 reaction headcannon, 2.5k words (eek sorry)
✩ genre/s: **fluff**, humor, established relationship, ot8 x gender neutral!reader
✩ warning/s: MOBILE TUMBLR HATES ME (some gifs & author’s note might not appear),,,, my terrible sense of humor/commentary, a couple of them are suggestive if you  s q u i n t
✩ a/n: idk if the concept makes any sense but it does in my mind \_( ‘-’ )_/ also seungmin’s part is the exact same kinda similar to a brief scenario in my txt soobin “brightest blue” fic... but it’s fineee. also i’m sorry that some are longer than others! enjoy :))
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chan:
chan is definitely extremely interested in the music you listen to.
in fact, sometimes he’d probably insist that you show him your current playlist from start to finish lol.
i can imagine y’all hanging out at the dorms, maybe even mid-cuddle, listening to some of your recent favorites.
but there’s this ONE SONG--
your absolute JAM
you get up from your seat or the bed and start completely jamming out.
he stays where he is so he can watch you have the time of your life.
i guess nobody told him you’re a professional lip syncer… awk...
you grab a hairbrush and hold it up like it’s a microphone.
honestly you’re thriving,,
he’s kinda stunned. not in a bad way, but he’s just so mezmorized by how cute (and maybe a lil sexy) you are when you dance like no one’s watching.
there’s a particularly awesome beat drop toward the end of the song, which leads you to do some equally awesome head banging.
he’s cackling at this point, which drives you to act even sillier.
*ending pose*
once the song ends and you’re trying to catch your breath, he slowly starts clapping for you.
“the song was great, but the performance was even better,” he’d say, coming off a bit sarcastic. but he means well!
you start to get a bit self-conscious and shy as you put yourself together again.
he’ll try to comfort you, standing up to wrap you in a hug.
“don’t be embarrassed!” (cue soft chan),
“baby that was awesome”,
“you should join a rock band!”, etc.
overall, he’d love it when you share your music taste, and this event will probably set off a chain reaction of similar jam sessions in the future.
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minho:
ok so we all know minho’s a cat person, blah blah blah...
but what if you got super excited about a really cute dog?
let’s say you’re on a walk at a park, holding hands, and talking.
all of a sudden you see someone walking their dog…
and when i tell you this is the cutest, tiniest dog on the face of the earth,,,
you immediately stop walking and squeeze minho’s hand. you point to the dog and start freaking out because it’s so cute.
he’d say something silly like, “what are you talking about? it looks like a rat.”
you disregard it because you’re just so excited about this puppy!
“can we pet it?” you ask.
“... fine” he replies, smiling at you, despite his attempts to act uninterested.
y’all go over to the woman walking her dog and ask if you can pet the puppy. when she says you can pet him, you immediately sit on the ground, ready to have the best puppy playdate of your life.
minho’s still standing, watching you with loving eyes.
of course, you start talking to the puppy as if he’s a baby. minho laughs, trying to stifle all the uwus emanating from his heart
the puppy climbs onto your lap and licks your face just a little bit.
you look up at minho with wide eyes, saying “awww, isn’t he so cute!”
he’d playfully roll his eyes because why would he cheat on cats like that…
then you tug on his hand, motioning for him to sit with you. he does, reluctantly.
you place the puppy on his lap to see what happens.
the dog loves him! (of course, because what living thing wouldn’t love lee minho?)
the puppy is licking minho all over as he makes faces of disgust and struggles to pull him away.
you laugh out loud, happier than ever at the two very good boys in front of you.
he smiles again, completely endeared with your excitement despite being covered in puppy spit...
so, it doesn’t matter what kinds of animals you two prefer, since you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. (aww)
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changbin:
i feel like changbin is the type to not be ashamed of/shy about showing you the songs he’s writing.
...except for right now.
he just got home from the studio, dropping his bag onto a table… but some papers fall out.
you attempt to grab the papers, but changbin stops you and grabs them himself instead with a subtle hint of nervousness.
pretty suspicious if you ask me.
“what’s up?” you ask, a bit confused about what just happened.
he’d try to play it off like nothing suspicious was going on, but you know his poker face.
it’s too cute not to notice.
he likes to play all tough but you (and everyone else tbh) know him better than that.
you go to grab the papers, but he steps away. you try again… and again, and again, and again.
you become increasingly more frustrated and impatient with each attempt, until changbin holds them up high in the air where you can’t reach them. he has a look on his face that says ‘haha! gotcha!’
you’ve never done this much jumping in your life.
but you’re not a quitter.
“okay… i give up,” you say, returning to a stationary position and placing your arms around his neck.
however, just as he lowers his hands to your waist, you snatch the papers!
“AHA!” you exclaim.
all he can say is “damn it!” as you scramble to the couch with the papers in your hand. you sit facing away from him, attempting to speed-read the lyrics sprawled across the pages.
he follows you to the couch, trying to take the papers back from behind.
“binnie, these are so good!!”
“thanks… but were they worth betraying your innocent boyfriend?”
“yes. every word.” you finally hand him back the papers with a smirk.
he’d curse under his breath, ditching the papers in favor of tickling you instead.
what a terrible punishment!
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hyunjin:
we all know hyunjin is a drama queen,,
you can be a bit of a dramatic person yourself (who isn’t?).
so when you lose your favorite sweater, you’re immediately going on a wild goose chase around the dorms, because that’s where you had it last.
you’re practically talking to yourself. double checking everywhere you’d been. retracing your steps like a mad person.
you need this sweater!!
you let out a little “urgh!” as you begin getting frustrated.
hyunjin would ask what’s wrong, and when you tell him, he’d GASP.
he’d be like:
“have you checked under the bed?”
“the couch?”
“what about over here?”
“over there?”
this boy will not REST until the sweater is back in your possession, wasting no time in matching your level of concern/dramatics...
… if not exceeding it.
y’all have practically torn the whole room apart at this point.
until finally, you find it in a random drawer (of course smh)
“I FOUND IT!” you’d exclaim, flopping onto the bed and putting the sweater on,
to which you’d receive a “YAY!” in return
tired and leaning against a wall, he’d say something like, “thank GOD! now, why do you need it so bad?”
and you’d simply and softly respond, “... i got chilly~”
he wouldn’t give a verbal response, but his face would go from relaxed to ‘bruh’.
you knew he’d be shocked at your statement, but you choose to tease him instead with a smile.
he would then opt to tackle you in the bed, fumbling with the covers and vowing to make you as warm as humanly possible.
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jisung:
jisung definitely loves showing you the music he’s been working on, just like changbin.
except… this time, the lyrics aren’t necessarily what you’re used to hearing.
you can tell jisung’s a bit nervous as he presses play, choosing to keep his eyes on the floor as he nods his head to the rap.
you’re listening intently, as curious and excited as you are every other time…
but then you realize that it’s about you……
the lyrics talk about letting someone into his life and his longing to be even closer to that person than he is now.
therefore,,,,   u w u
you giggle, which prompts him to look up at you almost immediately with anticipation about your reaction.
you decide to wait until the end of the song to react, but you can already feel the excitement bubbling up inside of you.
the song ends, and you’re sitting in silence alongside jisung. “so… what did you think?”
“well… i think…” you trail off, looking into jisung’s eyes.
with a bit of a squeal you leap up from your seat and essentially attack him.
you straddle his legs (don’t get any *ideas* this is FLUFF for goodness sake) and wrap your arms around his neck, locking him into a big hug.
“i love it, baby. so, so, so, much,” you respond quickly and genuinely.
he laughs, his arms wrapping around you.
he’d probably remark, “you scared me for a second!”
you laugh in response, apologizing for your delayed reaction.
deep down, he’d feel so relieved that you liked the song and its sentiment.
he’d also be so happy to have you, his overexcited sweetheart, in his arms.
however, at the surface, he’d prefer to tease you. “next time, don’t make me wait so long!”
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felix:
ok so y’all send memes and tik toks back and forth all day every day. it’s just protocal.
also,,, you could literally be in the same room, and he’d still just start sending you tik toks he’d saved just to send to you and see your reaction.
but there’s this   o n e
you can’t quite explain why but when you watch the tik tok that your boyfriend sent you from across the couch, you laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before.
whatever humor you may have, this tik tok completely encompasses it in a beautiful, stupid way.
before you know it, you begin cackling.
felix knows that you’ve always been a bit embarrassed of your laugh (who isn’t, right?), so when you start letting loose he’s a bit caught off guard.
still, he joins in (at a smaller scale, of couse).
he always wants to see you happy, but this is a whole new level of cuteness in his eyes.
your laughter subsides a bit...
until you decide to watch the tik tok again.
believe it or not, it’s even funnier the second time!
you double over, laughing so hard that no sound is even coming out of your mouth.
“are you okay?!” he’d ask, laughing harder now at your actions.
he’d put his arms around you so he could hold you up.
you’d mouth out a “no” in response.
there are practically tears forming at the corners of your eyes.
he’d continue looking down at you with a beaming smile, holding you up until your laughter comes to a full stop.
“was it really that funny? i can’t even make you laugh like this.”
you’re almost dazed, your stomach hurting (in the best way possible). you try to steady your breathing.
after a few seconds of recovery, he’d whisper in your ear with a deep, silly voice...
“...wanna watch it again?”
it’s safe to say you won’t fully recover for a while.
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seungmin:
on days off, you watch dramas with seungmin to take both of your minds off of work/school/whatever’s been keeping you busy.
however… of course you can’t go a whole episode without laughing hysterically, and it’s all because of seungmin.
it could be the most dramatic, intense, or heartbreaking scene in the show but he would make it into a full blown impersonation comedy routine.
ESPECIALLY if the drama is in a foreign language.
this boy will reinact all of the subs in the stupidest way possible.
but, today he’s a bit exhausted, snuggling up against you and not saying much.
our boys work too hard :((   (but wbk)
...so you decide to take his place.
you start off kind of hesitantly, waiting to see if he’d even react. when the main characters start to have an argument, you begin reading the subtitles in a silly voice.
you hear a soft giggle from your boyfriend has be tightens his arm’s grip around your waist.
you begin to use different voices for each of the two characters, alternating between a nasly, high pitched one and a lower one with voice cracks. this makes seungmin laugh harder, going from a giggle to his usual open-mouthed chuckle.
he’s so cute >_< ,,anyways…
as the scene intensifies, so does the volume of your impersonations.
“yOu’Ve bEtRaYeD mE!”
“BuT yOu LiEd tO mE!”
at this point seungmin is cackling despite his heavy eyes and unwillingness to move. he’d be so caught up in your routine that he’d forget he was even tired.
you look up at him to see that big smile and those sparkly eyes you love so much, which motivates you to be even goofier!
you sit up, leaving seungmin’s grasp. you begin making hand gestures to match your overdramatic tone.
the scene comes to a climax, in which you recite the final line with more ferver and fake passion than ever before. you finish it off with a fist in the air for ~emphasis~.
as you hold this pose, you hear your loyal audience member begin to cheer for you. he claps, whisper-shouting “ahh” to create fake crowd noises.
“what a show!” he would commend you with an expression of sarcastic awe on his face.
you’re really glad you decided to cheer him up…
but not nearly as glad as he is to have you with him on a day like this.
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jeongin:
jeongin’s smile could literally melt anyone’s heart. everybody knows this.
i don’t care who you are, if you see jeongin smile, you either smile or cry and there are no other options.
i don’t make the rules.
so, when he shows you the ‘lovestay’ version of his latest dance practice, you’re bound to go insane with adoration.
as soon as his solo comes up and the camera zooms in on his sweet, smiling face, you give his cheek a little poke
you say, “that’s you!”
“shut up,” he’d respond, giggling.
“wait, i missed something,” you say with a sense of urgency. you take the phone from his hands, rewinding a few seconds.
he’d roll his eyes at you, getting a bit shy.
you resume the video until the boy in the video holds up a finger heart, at which point you press pause.
“look how cute!” you exclaim, looking up at jeongin and pointing back and forth between him and the screen.
“stop it!” he’s blushing (and you’re screaming internally at how cute he is) as he tries to refrain from making a big smile.
you poke his side, resulting in a small fit of laughter that forces his bright grin to peek out.
he swats your hand away, putting his arm around you
(partly to show his affection and partly to make you hold still)
you place your head onto his shoulder, resuming the video for the final time. “you’re too cute. i can’t help it.”
“but you’re the cutest...” he murmurs, almost inaudibly to someone who isn’t as close to him as you are now.
heat rises in your face.
you: “...stop…”
him: “hah!”
touché...
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©️ cotccotc 2020 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
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seijorhi · 3 years
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asks :))
what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...
What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen
it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha
Just read nostos-
First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳
Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼
ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)
you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty
Omfg that fic was so good!
Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)
Looking forward to your future work <3
ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33
You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!
The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*
A+++++
ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha
I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome
fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha
I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou
ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha
OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕
TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha
Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫
tysm nonnie!!! <33
i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though
bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha
Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now
lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol
your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them
thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader
RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again
‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!
Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.
(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)
Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do
-🥚
GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!
Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld
poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha
Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &
This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin
i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha
That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are
TYSM NONNIE!!! <33
Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---
Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.
Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...
https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ
Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)
~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸
i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby
idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics
i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you
Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!
he most certainly did :))
LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.
id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️
EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh
Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )
To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅
ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺
I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao
kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!
You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.
🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨
After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤
choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌
what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?
(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)
i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))
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magnoliapip · 3 years
Text
The Storm Inside
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Title : The Storm Inside
Book : Open Heart series (Choices - Pixelberry)
Description : Casey has been pushing everyone away and spiraling since the attack on the hospital and her loved ones are concerned.
Pairing : none established  / ambiguous
Characters : Open Heart FMC (Casey Valentine), Sienna Trinh, Bryce Lahela, Jackie Varma, Rafael Aviero, Elijah Greene, Aurora Emery, Kyra Santana, Danny (mentioned), Bobby (mentioned)
Warnings : mention of death, mental health
Prompt : “What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?...”
Casey stared vacantly out the floor length windows into the night sky above Boston from her seat against them on the living room floor. The sky was as clear as could be, a rarity for the area, but in a city as populous as Boston seeing the stars was a gift they were never granted. She stretched out her cramping legs to a different position as she leaned her head and left shoulder against the cool glass.
She looked out of windows with alarming frequency now. She had never really done so before, preferring to always be doing other things. She’d always thought of herself as a social person who enjoyed others company, though she could be either out dancing in a packed club or relaxing away a quiet night in with the same level of enjoyment. Friends and loved ones was all she really needed.
The attack on Edenbrook had changed everything, down to her very bones.
Some days her mood was somber but calm, like a cloudy day. Those were her best days and the ones she liked best. The cloudy days could be darker with threat of rain or lighter with the sun just missing the opportunity to come out. It was the closest to her old self she could feel. Unfortunately for her, those days were not only fleeting and the least common, they were becoming a rarity.
More often, her moods were a range of levels of sadness. All the way from a misting drizzle, enough to coat everything in water and make the air humid, to a torrentially pouring rain. Buckets from heavens and flash floods. The only thing those floods never seemed to leave clean was herself.
Other times she was cold. So, so cold. The best of those days were accompanied with a blizzard. Cold, but manageable with a shovel. On the days  where she left her heart covered in an inch thick layer of ice and brandished her words like weaponized icicles, frigid and sharp, the people around her knew to steer clear. She was getting a little too good and stabbing them where it hurt.
Her worst moods felt like she should alert the National Weather Service. Tornado warnings and hurricane evacuations were a courtesy she never felt up to extending, adding to her already astronomical guilt. Like a twister, she could feel so angry and out of control she would tear through everyone in her path with no regard for who or what was in it. She had hurt people, especially the ones she loved, deeply but couldn’t bring herself to stop. It was like watching her body act with someone else at the controls.
It was just one more thing about herself to hate lately, and it had a long line to stand in.
The weather in reality never matched what she felt inside. It fascinated and disgusted her in equal measure. It had been sunny (mostly) since the funeral. It was repulsive.
Bobby was dead. Danny was dead. Raf had almost died and would have god knew how many long term problems ahead because of the illness. She had nearly died. And the world just kept spinning.
Couldn’t they see? Couldn’t any of them see that she was stuck there in that room. That she had never recovered. That she couldn’t recover.
At first, when her friends had noticed her strange new affinity for gazing outside for hours every night, they tried to pull her away. Distract her with things like herbal teas, chocolate ice cream and support. They tried to shower her with her favorite pastimes from before. They tried dancing around the apartment to silly pop songs and playing video games with her. But they didn’t understand. And they didn’t stop.
So she bit them. Hard.
Now they left her alone.
She was an awful person. She shouldn’t have been allowed to live. Someone should have realized it at the hospital and just let her die.
She could feel the tears well up again, stinging her eyes as her inner clouds started to rain again. The night sky outside stayed perfectly cloudy.
It was going to be a long night.
Sienna stood around the corner, watching her best friend shatter silently, as she had done every night for over a month. She whispered to those behind her, “Don’t you all see? Nothing is helping and she’s getting worse. After the last time she panicked when I reached out, I thought I’d give her space. We all did. But it’s not working. Does anyone have any suggestions?”
The gathered assembly of those in the cramped penthouse hallway who loved a young doctor named Casey watched her crumble, weeping without making a sound...and no one said anything. Some of the smartest doctors in the nation, and no one had an answer.
Not Bryce, who stood off to the side watching the pain on the face of the first true friend he’d made while at Edenbrook. Someone who had looked past the brash, self-confidence he used as a shield. The first person he hadn’t been afraid of discovering his past.
Not Rafael, who stood at the back of the crowd, down the hall, not able to stand to look at the person who made him believe he was worth as much to her as these intelligent, talented and more well off friends of hers. Not as she could no longer see how much she was worth.
Not Jackie, who was used to facing her problems by cackling at them until they scurried off with tails between legs or tearing them out with her teeth. But this was a problem that required delicacy, the type she had been shown by the very woman who now needed it.
Not Ethan, who leaned against the wall as he saw his protégé, the first person he’d ever believed in this much, destroy herself. She had forced herself, her goodness, into his life and helped fix his hurt self. Now it was his turn and he, for the first time, found himself at a loss.
Not Aurora, her rival turned friend who showed her at her loneliest that having friend was worth something after all. Not Elijah, a beacon of positivity who felt entirely inadequate with this situation that left her emotionally impaired. Not Kyra, desperate to find some way to give Casey the support she had given. Not Sienna, whose heart broke as she watched her very best friend, her dolphin, her rock in many ways fall further and further into herself.
Each one of them loved her. Each one of them cared for her. Each of them had a purpose and a reason to be at Edenbrook, but Casey was the glue that had held them all together. That glue, their foundation, was compromised. This time, they needed to find a way to save her. This time, she couldn’t waltz her way into a miracle seemingly handed down by the divines themselves to fix the situation.
Giving voice to their silent thoughts, Bryce whispered softer than before, “She needs us. She has to know it. She has to know we’re here somewhere inside, but can’t ask. Won’t ask.”
“We’ve already lost so much because of the attack,” Sienna said quietly. “We can’t lose her now. I can’t.”
“None of us can,” Rafael replied softly.
There was practically a flashing beacon over Casey’s head, screaming help me please. It was long overdue for them to stop ignoring it. For a few pregnant minutes, they all looked around at each other and back to her. This mismatched band of misfits and nerds, bound this night by their affection for one single woman. They stared at each other, desperate for answers…
Until the one who loved her most went rigid. Then stepped toward the rest, speaking slowly.
“I...may have an idea.”
[BREAK]
Notes : I left the ending open for interpretation on purpose. This story is not intended to be expanded on or have a second part. Y’all can decide who the person who loves her most is (and if that person isn’t presently named in my story, you can put them there yourself :D)
Also, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to the amazing writers I’ve talking to lately. Due to some truly awful comments and the way they were affecting me mentally, I recently purged all of my works but a few from fanfiction.net, AO3, and here on tumblr. Talking to, interacting with, and just seeing you lovelies in action has led me to believe I should start to do this again. 
Huge shout out to @jerzwriter​ and @lovealexhunt​ for being the lovely souls they are. You may have no idea who I am, especially on this blog rather than my main, but I will never stop being grateful for the positivity you put into the world. Thank you.
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TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...
Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  
Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.
I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 
The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  
Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  
Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  
So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.
This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  
Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)
I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  
“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.
(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)
Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  
Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  
I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  
Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  
Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  
Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)
Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  
Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  
Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  
Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.
I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  
Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  
“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.
Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  
(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  
We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.
Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  
Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  
Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  
Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.
I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  
Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.
DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  
Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.
God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  
So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.
I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  
I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  
You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  
Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  
Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  
Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.
Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.
Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.
Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)
Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  
Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.
I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  
Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  
Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.
This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  
Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  
Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  
Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  
Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  
“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.
And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  
(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  
Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  
And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  
I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  
I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.
In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  
There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  
Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  
Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  
Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  
Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  
Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  
Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!
They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)
Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  
“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  
Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...
... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  
Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  
Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  
Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  
Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  
The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.
Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”
“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?
Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  
Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  
I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  
He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”
I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  
Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.
He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  
Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.
Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.
“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  
But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  
Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  
Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  
“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  
“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  
“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  
Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  
Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  
Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  
Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?
Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.
Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  
Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  
Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.
Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.
Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  
If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.
Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  
“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  
When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  
“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  
Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.
Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  
“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  
“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  
“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  
I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.
“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  
The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  
Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!
Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  
Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.
Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  
Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”
It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  
Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.
“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  
Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  
“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  
(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)
Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.
“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  
(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  
Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  
Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  
Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  
Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  
She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  
What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.
Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  
“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  
“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  
“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.
Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  
Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  
Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.
Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  
“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  
Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  
Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.
Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.
It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  
I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  
Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.
Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  
Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  
Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.
The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.
What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  
This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 
Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 
Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 
Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice. 
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