#in case anyone needs to filter stuff like this ->
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For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
#that one person was right OCD is NOT fucking de-stigmatized#intrusive thoughts aren't exclusive to OCD though I'm just tagging those because that's how I got on the topic#ocd#actually ocd#intrusive thoughts#in case anyone needs to filter stuff like this ->#all caps#bold text#ask to tag
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Thinking about how I would write an adult Scooby-Doo series, because I think it can be done.
The first thing I’d do is make the characters actually be adults. Still young, but adults, in the mid to late 20s range. Mystery Inc. is a private detective type business that they run together. In this universe, the supernatural/ghosts/etc are real, but not necessarily common, so when they take on a case, the culprit might be a person disguised as a monster, or it might actually be a real ghost. The stakes can be higher; sometimes a bad guy is legitimately trying to kill them. Sometimes the mystery they’re trying to solve is a murder. Sometimes they actually get hurt on their cases.
Fred: the core of Fred’s character should be that he’s incredibly kind. Like, give a stranger the shirt off his back kind. The “Fred can’t talk to potential clients because he might take a case for free and we need to eat” kind. He’s an honest and good person and sometimes gets himself into trouble because he assumes other people are too. While he’s not very good at reading people or noticing ulterior motives, he’s brilliant when it comes to mechanical or engineering type stuff, so he’s the one who keeps the mystery machine running, builds their gadgets, and of course, designs the traps.
Daphne: she comes from old money, and her parents absolutely despise her life choices, to the point where they haven’t officially disowned her, but they have basically cut her off, so she doesn’t actually have access to any family money. Growing up wealthy has granted her a variety of skills, including speaking multiple languages, horseback riding, and fencing. She’s very into fashion and jewelry (even if she can’t afford it anymore) and has extensive knowledge of both that can occasionally provide a vital clue in a case. And even though her parents have cut her off, Daphne still has a wide network of contacts she can ask for favors sometimes, because she’s personable, and people tend to like her. Daphne is also very emotionally intelligent, and is usually the one who can spot when someone is lying to them.
Side note - I ship Fred and Daphne, so I think I would start them off as an established couple for this universe. Dating, engaged, married, I don’t care. They are stupidly in love, ride or die for each other. There’s no will they, won’t they, no worries about cheating. They are in a healthy, happy, loving relationship, and no one (not even Daphne’s disapproving parents) are going to mess that up for them.
Velma: she is the forensics nerd who sometimes gets super excited about the wrong thing at the wrong time (”He was mummified in seconds? That’s so cool!” “Velma! His wife is standing right there!” “Oh. Sorry.”). She’s not purposely insensitive, she just gets laser focused on her work and forgets to filter herself sometimes. She’s also the one who can get so fixated on solving whatever mystery they’re working on, she’s willing to bend or maybe break laws. Is breaking and entering really so bad? Not if it gets them answers.
Shaggy: he is still the comic relief, but he’s the comic relief by being the only person in the group that actually has common sense. He manages the business’s finances, he’s the only one who knows how to cook, and the others tease him for being a coward sometimes, but Shaggy maintains that if a ghost with an axe is coming for you, running is the only sensible option. He should also have a range of random knowledge that sounds useless, but sometimes saves the day (ex ventriloquism, origami, the history of spoons, etc).
Scooby: as this is a universe where supernatural creatures exist, Scooby is an ancient eldritch type being that took a shine to Shaggy when he was a kid, and took the form of a talking dog to befriend and hang out with him. Aside from the talking dog bit and not aging, he never uses his powers in a way that anyone notices. The audience is not told upfront that Scooby is an ancient eldritch being; it should slowly be hinted at throughout the series so the audience put it together, but the characters never realize it. Scooby genuinely considers Shaggy to be his best friend, and cares about the rest of the gang too.
#ink speaks#scooby doo#i like the vibes of a grown up scooby doo#where they're part of a mystery solving business#it needs to be a monster of the week type deal#so that it can play around with the character dynamics#because i think that's fun#long post
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STOP KOSA(and cie) MASTERPOST 2024
Both KOSA and the Earn It Act bill are dangerous for the future of the Internet.
In a nutshell, KOSA would allow states to sue any websites that host content deemed “harmful” to minors. With such a vague wording, its expected that any NSFW stuff, educational ressources or LGBT content, will immediately be taken down if govts dont approve of it.
Plus, it will be made mandatory to use IDs to confirm your age when going online, to so called “protect kids” but all that will cause is a huge potential data breach and endanger more kids.
As for the Earn It Act bill, it would allow the governement to spy and filter out anything they dont like in private dms for any users,as well as blowing a hole into Section 230 : The thing that prevent websites from being directly liable in case a user post something illegal,instead of the user being punished directly.
The comics I made about KOSA and Earn It Act are old but sadly still relevant. All the info you need are in this post.
•KOSA Comic
•Earn It Act comic
•KOSA UPDATE + CALL SCRIPT
(Made the April 11, 2024)
•When contacting your reps, you may also add that they should support better bills that will make kids (and anyone) safer by focusing on data privacy legislations instead of KOSA
• Contact Congress through here https://www.stopkosa.com/
• House Energy and Commerce are the best to contact for the hearing of 17th April 2024
https://energycommerce.house.gov/representatives
(the link doesnt work properly so you'll need to head to the site and select "Members" to find them)
• Find all your Congresspeople here http://badinternetbills.com/
• Find your House representative here https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative
•Never forget to make tweets, posts, tiktoks, or use any social media you can think of to talk about this : Spreading the word will be crucial.
As always, if you wish to help us fight against bad inetrnet bills,and have the latest infos about KOSA, consider joining our Discord server
(if not, please just share it around)
• https://discord.gg/pwTSXZMxnH
#kosa#kids online safety act#internet censorship#us politics#supreme court#section 230#earn it act#net neutrality
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i’m not really sure about what KOSA does to censor the internet. what exactly is there to it? i’ve heard a lot of awareness posts about it but not about what it actually does
i’m just going to copy-paste and slightly edit a previous reblog i made. though i’m not too sure how completely accurate this is, hopefully this can be of help if anyone wants a bit more info or wants to write a letter on their own:
——
basically, they’re forcing companies to limit certain content based on age and what could be considered dangerous to minors. they do somewhat give examples of what’s “mature content” but
1. they’re incredibly vague and
2. they open up for many other interpretations.
they also give the state attorney general the right to file a civil lawsuit against companies they think is infringing on this and showing minors “mature content.” however, this also means that this is completely up to the state attorney + state court’s interpretation, which can VERY EASILY be influenced by personal and political views. aka, a lot of LGBTQ information and other resources can be easily censored if the state deems it unnecessary for minors (and if the state court agrees with that belief).
if one state does that successfully, it causes a ripple effect.
aka, this can literally lead to censorship and the bill is straight up allowing that interpretation.
and another qualm i have with the bill (other than just the censorship part): the bill also states that they want ways to verify a user’s age so that they can filter content properly. however, the only way that’s truly foolproof is LITERAL GOVERNMENT IDS. this basically means that your personal information is collected by a “covered company” (the term they use for social media platforms and stuff) and used for age verification.
let me tell you i don’t think that’s a good idea AT ALL. it compromises everyone’s security, not just minors. like, what are they gonna do in the case of a data leak / security breach? how many people will have their personal information revealed and taken advantage of?
KOSA is a trojan horse with a LOT of consequences. it’s way too risky to implement into congress at this current stage, unless either of these problems can be solved through amending the bill or just straight up not approving it entirely.
ALSO:
the bill is currently introduced in the SENATE and is being contemplated over. however, there’s still a lot the bill needs to do before it passes into law (house of representatives, president, etc)
aka, do not stop expressing how DANGEROUS this bill is, in the case it’s passed in the senate. keep talking when it’s in the house of representatives. do what you can
THIS TOO: (https://www.stopkosa.com/)
#wist talks#stop kosa#stop bad internet bills#stop kids online safety act#internet censorship#internet freedom
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this might make too long of an idea for rn but,, llewyn angst where he breaks up with you for whatever (stupid) reason and leaves, only to come back a few months later needing a place to crash for the night (and an excuse to see you) and finds that youve been doing horribly mentally and physically,, im a slutttt for angst
again
llewyn davis x reader
summary: well, the ask basically
warnings: angst!! llewyn kinda accidentally being an asshole because he's really good at that, obvious mentions of a difficult break up and what goes with it
tags: hurt/comfort, eventual fluff
word count: 2.4k
—
Llewyn sighs as the building door closes behind him. He knew this was bound to happen, he knew he wouldn't be able to let go of you, he knew he would go back to this, to you one day or the other.
He sighs, pressing the button to your intercom. There's an unpleasant noise before you pick up and speak.
"Hello?" it feels strange to hear your voice again, after purposefully avoiding each other for so long for your own good.
Llewyn swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry and funny. "Hey, it's me" he says, instantly cringing and feeling the urge to dig his own grave as he pronounces the words. "Llewyn." he specifies, in case you would have already forgotten the sound of his voice.
There's a pause, no sign from you on the other side. He even thinks you decided to ignore him, and fairly, it was valid – it was your ex, ringing late, coming out of nowhere after breaking up with you unpromptedly.
You had every reason to ignore him, to leave him hanging just like he did for you.
"What do you want" your voice is harsh, cold, any expression seeming to filter through the piece of technology.
It makes his stomach churn. He knows that you know damn well what he wants, he knows he’s being annoying.
Maybe it was better if he slept outside tonight, after all. But he really, really fucking needed to see you.
"I uh… I need a place to stay" he declares, looking down at the stuff gathered at his feet. “Please, sweetheart, it’s pouring out there. It’s late, I have nowhere else to go”
There's a silence before he hears you sigh over the other side, then despite everything, he hears the buzzing sound of the door.
"Thank you angel. Thank you so much" he hastily blurts out, reaching to pick up his stuff at his feet.
—
When he reaches your floor, your door is already half opened, and he tentatively comes in, closing the door behind him.
Your whole apartment obviously smells of you, and it hurts. It hurts being reminded of everything, of how happy you were together, of how he fucked it all up.
He puts all of his stuff down when he reaches the living room, taking a look at you perched on your armchair, reading, not paying attention to him in the slightest. His heart sways at the fact that you’re wearing the cardigan he gifted you on your most recent birthday – it is stupid, of course you wouldn’t stop wearing it just because the person that bought it dumped you.
"You can pick leftovers from the fridge if you want" you declare nonchalantly, not tearing your gaze from your book, tearing Llewyn from his thoughts.
He quickly looks over to the kitchen, then back at you.
"...Okay. Thank you" You pinch your lips in a small smile in response, your eyes still directed towards your book. “And thank you for letting me stay. I appreciate it”
“Sure” you sigh as you close your book and readjust your position on the armchair, finally looking up at him. “I heard your latest song” you nod. “It’s good.”
"Thanks" he smiles awkwardly, giving you a polite nod. “I uh… It’s about you.” he declares as he sits down on your couch, his bed for the night. He had gotten back to his starting point, to what he gets to have from anyone, when he used to have so much here.
“I figured.” you sighed silently as you put your book away, lightly clearing your throat before giving him back the same bitter, awkward smile. It had been blatant the first time you listened to it. Then the more you listened to it, the more it hurt.
If there had been one good thing for Llewyn about breaking up with you, it was the waves of inspiration that came with it, the effortless urges to write about the hole it left.
He would rather have had it another way, though. In a way that didn’t involve hurting you, in a way that didn’t involve profoundly regretting his decision.
“Jim told me you were starting to get some recognition” you continue, a weak smile over your face.
He chuckles, nervously fiddling with his own hands.
“Recognition’s a huge word” he cocks his head to the side, raising his eyebrows. “But yeah, things are finally starting to move” he nods, pinching his lips in a small smile.
“That’s good. I’m happy for you” you declare with a tired, although genuine smile. “You deserve it.”
Llewyn gratefully smiles back at you, seeing your eyes quickly darting away from him to awkwardly look at your own lap. He lightly clears his throat, trying to dismiss the obvious feeling of tension stilling in the room. “How have you been doing? You uh… You seein’ anyone?” he asks, getting more comfortable on the couch.
You chuckle, stupidly shaking your head. “No, not really.” you cringe as your voice slightly cracks mid sentence. The silence after that feels heavy, you can only hear the traffic outside.
“You?” you eventually ask in return, finally looking back at him. “No” he shakes his head, and you somehow feel relieved. You shouldn’t be. He doesn’t care, not anymore.
You nod awkwardly, before running a hand over your face.
“I hm… I don’t think I’ll be able to move on from you.” you admit trying to diffuse the obvious tension, your face contorting into an uncomfortable expression. It makes it worse, and Llewyn scoffs, his signature asshole mocking scoff that tends to rub people the wrong way.
“What?” he asks bewildered, as if you just said the most stupid thing he has ever heard. “Of course you will. I don’t doubt you’ll find someone else soon”
“That’s not what it’s about” you sigh impatiently.
Llewyn shifts uncomfortably on the couch, feeling a mix of guilt and yearning in the air. He knows damn well what you mean. He has been there. He still is, but he can’t.
"I... I didn't come here expecting... I mean, I didn't want to burden you with all this," he stammers, running a hand through his hair to brush back his messy curls. “Our past”
You look at him with a mix of frustration and dismay. "You don't get it, do you? You dropped me with barely any explanation and now you just show up at my door, acting like nothing even happened. What do you expect?"
He sighs, his past actions hitting him in the face full speed. "I messed up, okay? I know I hurt you, and I can't change that. But if you wanna hear it then yeah, being without you, it's been... It's been hell. I thought I could move on, find inspiration elsewhere, but every fucking song I write, every fucking note I play, it's all about you."
You stare at him, searching for sincerity in his eyes before scoffing in dismay. There may be some, but the delivery makes it look awful. "Llewyn– you can't just waltz back into my life whenever it's convenient for you. I can't keep going through this emotional rollercoaster whenever you decide you need something."
He nods, regret painted across his face. He shouldn’t have come here, that’s true. He shouldn’t have relapsed and come back here just to get a glimpse of you.
"I know. I messed up, and I don't expect you to take me back or anything. I just needed a place to stay tonight, and I didn't know where else to go."
There's a heavy silence in the room, filled with unresolved emotions. You take a deep breath, as if steeling yourself for what is to come next. You do your best to ignore the knot tightening in your throat.
"Okay. Great. You know what? Forget about it, everything's fine. I'll leave you the living room" you declare in a haste, getting up from your seat. "You know where the blankets are, you just came here for a place to sleep, after all" you throw before disappearing out of his sight, leaving him reflecting on his behavior and poor choice of words.
For such a talented songwriter, he surely had an awful way with words.
The living room is left in silence, filled with an unbearable tension. Llewyn sits on the couch, staring at the space where you were just moments ago. He feels a mixture of regret, guilt, and frustration with himself for not being able to express what he truly feels, and instead acting like an asshole.
As he looks around the apartment, memories of the time you both spent together flood his mind.
The familiar surroundings, the scent of your perfume lingering in the air – it all serves as a painful reminder of what he lost, again.
He can't escape the fact that he was the one who fucked it all up, and now he's facing the tough consequences.
The sound of your footsteps echo in the hallway, and he hears the bedroom door close. Llewyn runs a hand over his face, letting out a deep sigh. He knows he mishandled the situation, and he's not sure how to fix it. Not even sure if he can.
After a moment of contemplation, he decides to get up and find the blankets you mentioned. As he walks through the apartment, he notices the pictures on the walls – snapshots of happier times. It only intensifies the ache in his chest.
—
Llewyn can’t close his eyes, can’t stay in the same position for over twenty seconds. He tosses and turns on your couch, replaying the conversation in his mind over and over again as he curls up under the thick blanket he’s draped in.
He can’t let your relationship remain like this; he can’t leave it here, can’t spend the night and leave in the morning like nothing ever happened.
It feels automatic as he sits up and gets rid of the blanket over his body. He doesn’t think twice as he beelines to your bedroom either, softly knocking on the door before he hears your voice and tentatively steps inside. Your bedroom is bathed in darkness, save for the warm, dim light of your bedside lamp.
You glance over at him from your side of the bed, waiting for anything to happen, for him to say anything.
"I'm sorry," he finally mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to come here tonight and mess everything up. I just... I needed to see you, but I didn't think it through." he pauses before speaking again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you even more.”
You glance at him, your expression a mix of frustration and sadness.
“Come over here,” you order, not louder than a whisper. He does and joins you, sitting on the edge of the bed he used to sleep in just a few months ago. "Llewyn, this is not about tonight. It's about everything. You can't just walk back into my life and act like nothing happened." you explain, frowning. “You need to understand that this is unfair to me.”
He nods, feeling the weight of your words. "I know, I just... I miss you, and I didn't handle things well. I should've talked to you, explained myself."
"It's a bit late for that now, don't you think?" you reply, your voice still tinged with bitterness.
He sighs. "I know I– I messed up, and I can't change the past. But I still care about you, and I didn't want to see you hurt. It’s just… You know. I can’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I can’t give you enough and I have shit to figure out, you know that. You know that's why things are that way between us”
You meet his dark eyes filled with sincerity. There’s still something he doesn’t get. “I don’t care about that Llewyn” you frown, your hand coming to cover his. “I was happy with you. That’s all that mattered to me.” you nod, trying to prevent the materialized proof of your emotions from threatening your eyes. “Are you happier now that we’re apart?” you ask.
“Fuck no,” he scoffs, his hand grabbing yours, his hold tightening.
“Me neither. Not at all.” you admit and take a deep, shaky breath. Your expression and mask fall down, and tears finally slip away. Llewyn doesn’t think twice as he exhales and pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you.
“I’m sorry. I thought it would make your life easier to get away from you” he whispers as he rubs your back up and down. “Every success I achieve just feels like a failure without you to share it with." he admits quietly.
The room is quiet, save for the sound of your quiet sobs. Llewyn holds you tighter, as if trying to make up for all the times he couldn't hold you when you needed it the most.
"I messed up, sweetheart. I messed up big time," he murmurs into your hair. "I thought I was doing the right thing, but all I did was hurt you and myself. I don't know how to fix this, but I will try if you let me."
You pull away slightly, looking into his eyes, searching for any sign that he means what he says. His gaze is intense, genuine, and remorseful.
You nod, chewing onto your bottom lip. "Can we try again?" you ask, your voice cracking.
He nods, his thumb gently wiping away your tears.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "We'll take it slow, okay? No more impulsive decisions. We talk, we communicate, and if it doesn't work, at least we'll know we tried."
Llewyn nods again, a determined look on his face. "Whatever it takes. I don't wanna lose you for good."
And in that dimly lit room, with the weight of past mistakes hanging in the air, you both find a glimmer of hope – a chance to rebuild what was broken, a chance for a new beginning.
The night unfolds with shared confessions, tears, and the raw honesty that was missing for so long. Llewyn opens up about his fears and regrets, and you express the pain and confusion you've been carrying. It's not an easy conversation, but it's a necessary one.
As the hours pass, you find yourselves talking about the good times, the laughter, and the shared dreams that once bound you together.
You fall asleep when the sun begins to rise, casting a soft glow through the windows. Exhausted and emotionally spent, you both lay in a comfortable silence, holding each other like you used to.
It's a fragile beginning, but there's a sense of mutual understanding, a shared commitment to try and make things work again.
—
reblogs and feedback are greaaaaaaaaaatly appreciated!!!!!
inside llewyn davis taglist: @apollo-enthusiast @scarabgrant @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missmarmaladeth @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @campingwiththecharmings @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @spxctorsslxt @dowbastan
#llewyn davis#llewyn davis x reader#llewyn davis x you#llewyn davis fanfiction#inside llewyn davis#llewyn davis fic#llewyn davis fanfic#oscar isaac
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Sam, how did you find your therapist and build such a good working relationship? Every attempt I’ve made at therapy seems to fizzle out after a few months… and no therapist has ever understood the RSD aspect of my ADHD, which makes it all feel a little worse every time I try.
I mean, I think really we're still building it -- I haven't had her more than a couple of months and functionally it's been an every-two-weeks situation most of the time because we keep having to move/cancel. I don't know that I can really speak intelligently to building a relationship with a therapist because this is the first time I've ever done it where I was an adult and in control. As for finding one...
Chicago has a group called Clarity Clinic, which is like a WeWork for mental health professionals -- they offer scheduling, billing, and IT/office space to local people who I think are mostly independent operators otherwise. They have a directory that is highly filterable, so I found my psychiatrist there by filtering to stuff like Adult ADHD and medication management. He's great, but he didn't want to be my therapist and I didn't want him to. When I decided on therapy, I asked him if he knew anyone he could recommend, since he knew what my deal was in terms of personality, behavior, etc.
So he gave me a couple of names of fellow Clarity Clinic folks and I had a look on the website and chose the one that sounded like she'd get on best with me. I think I struck it lucky to be honest -- she's young (compared to me) and has ADHD, and she's very familiar with disability discourse, spoon theory, etc, even fandom to an extent. If I were to go looking today I might look more at therapists who specialize in twice-exceptional individuals, but she's good enough with what I'm aiming at that I don't want to change.
So the best advice I have is if you're being treated for other stuff by someone you trust I'd ask them, but also look for someone experienced with adult ADHD, and I'd look for someone on the younger side who's more likely to be understanding of neurodivergent needs. (I also recommend filtering to queer-friendly therapists if you can; I didn't necessarily need that but it means they're likely to be generally accepting and probably have more liberal politics. With the caveat that in shady places like BetterHealth, "LGBTQIA" counselors are sometimes homophobic creeps with an axe to grind.)
Building the relationship has taken proactivity on my part -- ensuring that I always have an appointment on the books (we book out about six weeks in advance now, because we know one of us will likely need to cancel/rebook at times), making sure that I have either an aim for treatment or at least something to talk about, etc. I think in your case probably having a list of things you want to deal with, so that you can check some boxes up top, might help.
I would definitely open with "I have ADHD and I need help with [aspects of that]; I also have RSD and I need to work with someone who respects that diagnosis and understands how to help with it." I went into mine saying "I have ADHD and I'm also struggling with some really big emotion, so I'm looking for help with those, but also like...I'm not really sure what therapy can offer. I've had some bad experiences in the past but they were all when I was a child, so I'm trying to explore some options." Her reaction was a combination of sympathy and a discussion of the kinds of things we might work on, which helped a great deal.
But yeah, I think it starts with establishing right from the jump what you want and need, and then spending time making sure that you both stay on top of that until you find a rhythm. We're still finding our rhythm, but it's getting easier as I'm learning to be clearer about what I want and more comfortable with being a participant instead of someone therapy just happens to.
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People only see shades of you, and they see them also through their own eyes, their own experience, their own triggers/unmet needs too. They also see what you let them see or have to let them see in specific moments or situations.
Do not worry too much about their opinions even if this may be a past trauma trigger of yours: if this is the case, try to learn how to stay grounded and know your real self first (especially try to not overreact, even if you're being hit in the feels -ofc it's hard and you probably won't make it at first, and that's fine. Do your best as you usually do: even if what they say hurts, you know your truth and what you have experienced, so be kind with yourself however you'll react).
Keep in mind that many times people's opinions hold only a partial truth and a few others they can even be totally wrong: have a check within, try to be objective and see if there's anything right in what they say (accept the critique/feedback and decide if it's something you need to work on or it's just part of you now -both are okay, especially while you're starting to heal and learning/finding new inner balance/setting boundaries and getting acquainted with the new you); or if they hit one of the traits you have been healing for a while (and if that's the case, know that it's fine if you still need more time even if you feel frustrated by it, no matter what they say); or if they are completely wrong cause they actually haven't seen the real you but only the "you" you show in specific situations or contexts and they couldn't experience more than that. We're made of layers and we cannot always show them all nor we have to show them to everyone (it's our decision who to let in).
Be open to the chance that the truth they are experiencing can be different from the one you are experiencing, and that it doesn't have to affect you at all costs: you can decide what to keep and what to leave aside, out of all they tell you. Again, you can decide who to let in more and who to leave out, no matter how they feel about it (you cannot control others' feelings anyway, as you cannot control their judgement and opinions too. These in fact generally originate from feelings, and feelings are emotions filtered by mind: triggers, insecurites and more reside here and often intervene in what we think of others/how we perceive them and their behaviours, or overthink them inside making up stuff in our mind too).
Remember that you're not here to please anyone, to change or to wear different masks according on who you have in front of you (we're all different, and different people will not like different parts of you and that's fine), you're here to live your life and enjoy it the way you rather.
You're here to be you, no matter how many people like or dislike you. You're not here to be liked by everyone anyway: there are way too many people on this planet, it's perfectly fine if a part of them do not appreciate you (as you may not appreciate exactly everyone too).
#words#healing#important#positivity#thoughts#self healing#self love#positive thinking#healingjourney#love yourself#relationships#judgement#tw judgement#tw trauma#tw triggers#emotions#emotional abuse#emotional trauma#emotional support#self support#self help#self care#feelings#life#life lessons#mental health#recovery#reminders#kindness
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Recently seen another wave of people getting into resin casting hobbies and it stresses me the hell out so this is going to be a PSA
IF YOU ARE USING RESIN YOU NEED PROPER PPE
Resin is nasty stuff and just because it's sold in hobby kits now doesn't mean it's safe. Unfortunately a lot of resins marketed to casting craft hobbies will be marked as "non-toxic/low VOC/safe to use at home" however this can mean anything from 'fairly harmless' to 'slightly less toxic than some other resins'. Don't let anyone tell you you don't need PPE while using resin.
So lets talk about resin allergies
The components in resin and it's hardeners and dilutants are all powerful irritants and sensitisers. This means obviously they can irritate your skin and airways if you come into contact with them or breathe in the fumes, but this also means that you can build up a sensitivity over time. Because of this you can develop a severe reaction over time, you might have your first reaction to resin on the first day you use it, or you might develop an allergy after several years of using it. The more you use resin the more likely you are to develop an allergy.
The reaction is most often a form of dermatitis which could present as redness, ichiness, irritation, swelling, or even skin blisters. Fumes can also cause breathing difficulties and other complications, and with some resins these may be present in significant quantities up to a week after the resin has cured.
In the absolute worst case if you develop a severe epoxy allergy (or allergy to other related compounds) you may be restricted from using a significant percentage of glues and paints, you will need to tell your dentist before you have any work done, you may even be unable to use things like vinyl or plastic handbags. And that's not even the half of it.
So what can you do about it?
The best way to protect yourself from a resin allergy is the proper PPE. Always read any safety materials that come with the resin (these should be inclued with the resin, but you may have to check the manufactureres or sellers website).
Only use resin in a well ventilated space, preferably outdoors, DO NOT DO THIS IN YOUR BEDROOM or any other room you are spending a lot of time in, just because you cannot smell fumes doesn't mean they're not there. If you don't have a suitable space you will need to build a fumes tent: instructions here.
Use NITRILE gloves (latex gloves won't cut it)
USE A RESPIRATOR! You will need either a half face respirator and safety glasses or a full face respirator, and it will need to be able to filter organic gasses and vapors. Make sure your mask fits correctly and air isn't getting in through the sides, and check how often you need to change your filters. (note - you should also have one of these for things like spray painting)
Make sure you're wearing long sleeves/as much skin is covered as possible. If you get resin on your clothing it will ruin them so having dedicated old clothing for working with resin is a good idea.
keep your workspace clean and have materials to mop us spillages on hand so you can minimise the risk of cross contamination.
If you do get resin on your skin wash it off with soap and water immedaitely (you can also get special soaps that are more effective for washing it off of skin)
Finally just do your own research, this sounds silly but it's your own health (and possibly the health of anyone else or any pets living with you) that's at risk here, so make sure you understand the safety implication of the materials you're using.
Please don't take this post as the be all and end all, I've almost definitely forgotten something and this is just intended to be a starting point
#resin#epoxy#epoxy resin#casting#resin casting#dice making#dice maker#epoxy art#resin art#look i know this sounds all doom and gloom and i don't mean this to be patronising#but i'm aware a lot of people just don't know how dangerous resin is because a lot of craft type places that sell it downplay it a lot#also i feel like this could be applicable to a lot of things but#just because other people aren't wearing ppe doesn't mean it's not neccesary#this has been my bi-yearly health and safety rant#i've re-written this post like 5 times so this will just have to be good enough
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My friend is running a text-based rpg campaign, and I'm absolutely in love with it, so I decided to draw a 'cover' for each day in the story. We'll see if I can do one for each day, but I'm SO proud of how these turned out so far - all of them are inked in my notebook first, and then coloured digitally. If anyone's interested in the story, I've explained more about it all under the cut!
OKAY. So the game is called City of Mists, and basically it's...kinda hard to explain, but I'd call it 'cyberpunk noir', but with a 90s technological aesthetic. Kinda like when you read Issac Asimov's books and they're using computers but it's all cassettes and film-based technology. Anyway, it's awesome. Every character has a normal life in the city - their 'logos' - but there are some characters who are called Rifts, who have something mythological manifest within them - their 'mythos'. Now, the mythos can kinda be anything, but the point is that it's a legend or story that manifests within the character, and thus gives them new abilities. And every Rift has to balance their logos and their mythos - because to delve too much into your mythos means you forget your normal life and become entirely consumed by the mythos...but to focus too much on your logos means to lose, and forget, your mythos entirely. The 'mist' of the city obscures mythological and supernatural things from those who haven't 'awakened' yet - but Rifts can see through the mist.
So, my little guy is - sighs. Okay. Y'all are gonna laugh. Please be aware that I know, okay? I know. It's fine. This is a choice I've made. But he's called Nakis Sandhu, and he's an investigative journalist (NOT with amnesia) who, when he was a kid, was involved in a train accident that killed his parents, but him and his twin sister miraculously survived. He's trans, and he has a van - he doesn't live in it, thank goodness, but it is important because his mythos is Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas (this is why he looks like Sacha Dhawan, because like....Sacha Dhawan should play Captain Nemo and I'll die on that hill). And so Nakis, when his mythos awakened, turned his van into the Nautilus - Captain Nemo's submarine - and so it now works underwater too, and can travel undetected. He also becomes like, a technological genius and can invent stuff on the fly, but he never studied engineering or anything - it just comes to him in flashes of inspiration.
Nakis' main thing is that he's trying to figure out what happened in the train crash when he was a kid. He saw something different to everyone else, because he saw through the mist - what everyone else thought was an accident was actually two Rifts duking it out (I think). One of these Rifts was a blue bull that is apparently called 'the Bull of Thunder', and the other was a man with fire based abilities - called 'The Burning Man'. On Day 2, Nakis discovered a metal case that had belonged to the Burning Man, that had been hidden for twenty years - since the day of the accident - and was full of clues, including some photographic film that needed developing. Unfortunately, seems that there's a strange filter on the photos, so it's impossible to tell what's on them...luckily, my guy made friends with a photographer on Day 1 (who I believe is another player character) whilst investigating something else, and as a result he's now passed the film on to him, in the hopes that he'll be able to clear them up.
One funny thing: Day 0 was supposed to be a 'chill' day to figure out how the game mechanics worked, and figure out what your character would do on a normal day. Nakis immediately went to investigate something and then nearly ended up drowning RIP. On Day 1, when continuing to investigate the thing from Day 0, he...got shot in the shoulder HAHAHAH but he's fine, he's doing great, he didn't bleed out in his apartment which is always a win. He also bumped into another player character by doing this - so yay!
#taka draws#city of mists#uhhhhh idek what to tag this??#art#original art#digital art#SKSKS anyway it's like#if i had a nickel for every time i had an investigative journalist character with a van and a train crash related backstory#i'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it shows that i have a type SKSKKSSK#but yknow i wanted an investigator character#and i didn't want a police officer or detective or PI so....#ANYWAY#nakis sandhu
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🗝️🏷️ discussion of RAMCOA with nonphysical examples, sh/suicide
For every person I see opening up about RAMCOA, there’s another telling the world to never so much as glance in its direction. We are shit at tone sometimes, so not to be rude, but I do have reasons I dislike the silence.
Reading about tortured children should never be comfortable, and if you have no reason to suspect a similar history, you can filter away the nastiness. We will never be able to have that ignorance, even if our front-facing alters don’t remember.
If you do suspect a history or end up having one, congrats! Time to start deprogramming. Chances are if you went through this flavor of hell, the stability you have is a cover for your involvement, past or current. Either way, I’ve never seen someone survive without any side effects, and addressing the problem is the only way to actually solve it.
Omega (death/sh) programs can be activated by looking into trauma material. Any trauma material. And a good amount of other stuff, like trying to leave your area or not reporting back to an assigned group member. Our omega programs have been passively problematic for years, and our first active cases were around 4 years old. It’s a common program line, and some groups install functioning versions very young. We did not know about any kind of abuse at 4, despite being trafficked and regularly hurt our whole life. It was triggered by existing too close to a ritual site, and we had sh behaviors and runaway attempts for ‘knowing too much’.
We were taught by abusers that what they were doing was good and normal at the same time they were teaching us we were dirty for living it and nobody would believe us. Pretty much all of that category was just convincing us not to tell on them, with punishment for breaking cult rules. We’ve read about survivors taking the ‘Golden Rule’ as ‘Silence’, and we have a similar experience. Any breaking of the quiet without direct harm at their hands is another inch towards safety. If we can convince ourselves they really did lie about their omnipotence, we can shake some programs based in those beliefs.
We were told that our system/body specifically was bad and wrong, and that these things happened to us because we deserved it. We don’t hold the same standard for outsiders, and their stories make us think we might not have been predestined for the life we got.
Outsiders who have no trauma history, and sometimes those who do, can be pretty insensitive. We have been harassed for having been sexually assaulted, called names for telling/not telling parts of our story, and insulted in various unpleasant ways because we were forced to perpetrate. We still commonly get a reaction of disbelief, even after months of building trust and then giving only vague summaries. The more people hear about this form of maltreatment and its effects, the higher their tolerance will be when someone needs them to show up.
It makes us feel more secure in our own memories when other survivors have similar experiences. To know that it can actually be that bad, it isn’t the norm, and others have gotten out and started healing is more weight off our shoulders I knew we carried. I, and other alters, have shame pits that we can sink into quick. The pure validation of knowing it happened, the flex tape of understanding it wasn’t their fault, the basis for comparison we have never had in anyone but our abusers. It helps us, even if it also hurts.
Silence is what they wanted. ‘They’ being the pedophile rings, cults, and other organized groups that rely on programming children and anyone else they got their hands on for profit. I genuinely do believe more people fit into our community than currently admit, and the gray doesn’t become visible until you open your eyes to the damn black and white.
#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#traumagenic system#actuallydid#ramcoa#tw ramcoa#ramcoa vent#ritual abuse#organized abuse#mind control#manipulation#did system#osddid#sysblr#syscourse#polyfrag system#polyfragmented system#system
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Oh boy, aren't you just tired of those damn opinions in your fandom?
If you would like to stop seeing my opinions and those of others who don't think exactly like you, i have a great little tool to tell you about called "Blocking."
By blocking me or anyone else who posts opinions that oppose your own, you no longer have to see our posts and we are incapable of interacting with your blog via likes, reblogs, replies, messages, or asks (unless we operate on side blogs, that is). Unfortunately, blocking someone on tumblr never will prevent them from seeing your posts, so you will just have to live with that fact. (Telling other people to block you does nothing positive for you!)
Here, i'll teach you how using myself as an example;
Blocking on your main blog vs your side blog are two different tasks, but ill explain both.
If you are on your main blog, you will need to click on the blog of the person you are wanting to block. It should look something like this.
You're going to want to click on that small button with three horizontal dots, which will open a drop down menu that looks like this:
Just click the bright red block button at the bottom, confirm your choice, and you can peacefully go about your life.
Blocking someone from interacting with a side blog is slightly more complicated. You're going to need to be on a desktop to follow this tutorial.
On the left hand side of the screen, you should see a bunch of options like this
You're going to want to click the drop down menu for "Account".
It's going to look like this. Click on whatever side blog you wish to block this blog for.
There will be a menu on the right hand side of the screen like so. You are going to want to click the "Blog settings" button at the bottom of the menu.
From here, you are going to scroll all the way down to the bottom of your blog setting. You'll see a bunch of stuff, ignore them, they're irrelevant to blocking. You will want to click the pencil button beside the pixelated pfps of blogs you have blocked.
From here the list of blogs you have blocked will drop down and open like so
You'll want to type the name of the blog you wish to block in the box at the top, like this.
Simply click the block button
and ✨VOILA ✨! Blocked!
Now you never have to see those pesty Different Opinions™ ever again! Though it may be a good idea to remember the usernames of the people you block for this reason, in case in the future you mature enough to be capable of civil, critical discussion with people who don't agree with you. Or don't! That's no skin off either of our backs :)
This tool is also quite helpful when someone posts art, fanfics, head canons, or whatever else you may not like. In fact, it is encouraged that you use the block button instead of harassing others, making call out posts, defaming others, or letting something that frustrates you linger in your head!
You should always use the block button when you see something that is triggering to you or puts you in distress. This alongside using the filtering system that tumblr has can keep you much safer. You can do your own part to help others by remembering to never censor words you use on tumblr.com and instead typing the entire word with no euphemisms. This will prevent your post from winding up on the dash/search for someone who has those subjects/words/tags filtered out.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk, and godspeed.
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HI <3 Sheith VC anon here back with a very humble request. So I've read TVL and am currently reading QoTD, just finished the Devil's Minion chapter (oH mY gOD my HEART). I'm going through the books a bit slowly bc life stuff, but I have sooooo many thoughts and feelings and feel like I need to read lots of fic to work through it LOL. I would love it if you could rec me some (or tons of!) fics that wouldn't give me (m)any spoilers re: stuff that happens after this point in the series. I realize this might be a kind of hard/maybe impossible request because a lot of those spoilers would be referring to things that chronologically would have taken place prior to DM for instance, but I'm so starved I thought I might ask just in case! I'm not suuuper partial to any specific ships (Lestat/Louis is a bit boring IMO 😭 but I love them so I'll take it) and I don't have any NOTPs, so I'm down to read pretty much anything (esp if it's spicy and/or hurts my heart and/or features Armand lmao). Totally fine if this is too much trouble or if it turns out to be an impossible ask indeed; thank you in advance anyway! AND THANK YOU AGAIN for introducing me to these brain-rotting books lol I spend like half my waking hours thinking about Armand now.
SHGKJALDS I SPEND HALF MY WAKING HOURS THINKING ABOUT ARMAND TOO SINCE LIKE THE YEAR 2000 LMFAO im so glad you see!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GET IT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So babe tbh the reason I started writing Armand/Daniel fic at all is because there really ... isn't that much? And I was like GUESS I GOTTA FUCKIN COOK FOR MYSELF. So tbh I haven't actually read a ton of VC fic at all.
The otp:true filter for them on AO3 (excluding TVverse fics) only has 237 fics hdkjgalds but you can start here LOL.
I think for the most part you'll be able to tell in the tags if it's post-QOTD because people usually will tag like "post canon" or "Prince Lestat Era"; for QOTD fics check for a Devil's Minion/Devil's Minion Era tag. I don't always remember to tag my own fics but my only post-canon D/A fic is called "In the Trials of the Heart" and all my others are Devil's Minion era and shouldn't spoil anything ! Be aware that the TV fandom and book fandom sometimes overlap so there might be stray TV fics in the book tag; it won't spoil anything bc the TV canon is a completely different story, but it might not make sense if you jump in to read it.
So without actual fic recs I'll share some authors that I really trust!! Have a look through their VC fics!!!!!!!
apoptoses (pervert extraordinaire 10/10, all the D/A fics are Devil's Minion era except for Blood Sanation so go nuts!)
covenofthearticulate (this is Ash, she actually writes Loustat & Louis/Armand mostly but she's so smart and I trust her so much!!!!)
Diabolus_Invictus
HekateInHell (writes a lot of Lestat/Armand and also has a human AU called Our House that I'm obsessed with!)
ImhereImQuire
Nothing_But_Paisley
rainandcoffee (if you're sick of all of our doom&gloom you can find fluff and lightness here!)
whisperbird (just one VC fic but I think about it every day of my life I love it)
Whenever I remember I try to post VC fics that I do read, kinda like how Sheith fandom does Wednesday Fics, I try to tag #VCFicFriday so try there too!
Anyway if anyone wants to add to this post and share recs PLEASE DO I actually am not a great fic reader bc my attention span sucks and I'm picky about canon compliant porn LOL! But help our new friend out if you want to share any!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I GET NERVOUS MAKING REC LISTS I DONT WANT TO HUR TANYONE IF I FORGET YOU#PLEASE DONT BE SHY AND ADD YOURSELF IF YOU WANT!
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Hosted a virtual event tonight. Topic was "3 day, winter evacuation go bag". It was a lot of fun.
I brought some gear to encourage discussion.
And yes, I finally got to make a pulk sled. It's featured in the display.
Recap, in case anyone was curious the kinds of things we talked about. Off the top of my head so stuff's missing and out of order.
This evening's event was mainly just kicking things off. Some things we touched on:
- Start with what you have on hand.
- We cant necessarily be ready for every scenario. But some items we'll need no matter the scenario. Those are prime items for a go-bag.
- Making an evacuation plan in advance, with family/those providing necessary transportation, etc.
- How to layer clothes for winter.
- Wool & Wool Sensitivities: Lanolin, Chromium, Formeldahide may cause reactions to wool. But if one's itchiness is only caused by the diameter of the wool fibers, a smaller wool fiber, like Merino, may not be itchy. Synthetic baselayer alternatives exist, like Capilene (spelling?).
- Make a go-list. We cant always store a C-pap etc in a go bag if we use it in daily life. But if we have a list of grab-items ahead of time, we can be ready to evacuate faster.
- We need a different meeting time.
- 30 day supply of emergency medication is ideal. But even one extra day is better than none. It gives us another day to find more.
- AM/FM radio can help us keep tabs on situation updates, as well as information such as where we can evacuate to. Some models are hand crank and let us recharge our electronics. But even a simple, $10 battery operated AM/FM is a GREAT idea.
- Food and water help protect us from hypothermia.
- Save money. Look for free items. Wait for sales.
- In an emergency, contrary to fictional movies, communities tend to band together and find ways to help each other.
- After a big earthquake, don't immediately run outside. Pause to assess the situation. Look for things that might fall on you from above, both inside and outside of the building.
- More discussions can help desensitize us and reduce anxiety when engaging with the topic.
Items people introduced to the group:
- Life Straw, a small, portable, emergency water filter.
- Top Ramen, nearly 400calories, lightweight, inexpensive.
- MSR Firefly, multi-fuel stove with flame adjuster. Works with several different types of fuel. Can be repaired in the field. Good even in high altitudes and below freezing temperatures.
#go-bags#winter go-bag#disaster preparedness#disaster preparation#community prepper#prepping#evacuation
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an (un)helpful guide to do themes/layaouts for tumblr !
[pt: an (un)helpful guide to do themes/layaouts for tumblr/end pt]
content under cut
haaai! this was requested by my friend @puppylamp , so i'm here for him!
first i look into the # tumblr layout tag on tumblr, looking for inspo and borders i could use for mine, when i have mine selected, i go to select for other thingys
like the pattern / image i will use and in case that i choose using a pattern a png the
theres the file (pls remind to put the size of the tumblr header before), i put the border i will use and accomodate it a bit
then, i do another layer, i fill the part i will put the stuff (i mean, up the border) with the bucket tool (thingy? idk how to call it in english
^ the color can be any, it doesn't matter really
attach a clipping layer to the color, put the pattern in it
there then, i put the png on also a clipping layer
i use the filter "trazo (exterior)" for doing the white (or any color outline)
then, you can put text in it or don't, that's up to ya
another subject, doing icons !
[pt: another subject, doing icons !/end pt]
it's very easy! i swear, ya can look into overlay icons or just do a png with the outline thing, try to use official art when doing those!
and these are my (shitty) tips to doing a layout for your tumblr.dot com blog
if anyone needs further explications i'm here to give them! thanks for reading
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Welcome to Chapter 2 of “An Offer She Can’t Refuse” FINALLY!
Huge thanks to @ultraluckycatnd for being the best beta ever, to @undercaffinatednightmare for the cool artwork, and to @caught-in-the-filter for the inspiring gifs!
Warning: the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written ;)
TAG LIST: @kmomof4 @ultraluckycatnd @caught-in-the-filter @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @djlbg @eddisfargo @stahlop @holdingoutforapiratehero @justanother-unluckysoul @teamhook @gingerchangeling @jonesfandomfanatic @grimmswan @captainfloorouat @cs-rylie @natascha-ronin @vasfasan @veryverynotgoodwrites @bugheadswanjones @everything-person @jackieorioncat
Killian was able to get a Safe House room booked during the drive back to school, much to Emma’s relief. He was such a caring, reliable friend — the perfect guy to be with during such a crazy time. The only thing she had doubts about was how they were supposed to go back to being “just friends” after this was over. Was that even possible? Maybe they could talk about it when her brain didn’t feel like mush.
“You know, I’ve never been to the Safe House building before. Do you think you can hear other people messing around in their rooms? I bet you can’t, because of privacy rules, and hormone stuff. It would get pretty confusing in there if the walls weren’t thick enough, so I’m sure they are…” Emma babbled, pressing her cheek against the cool passenger side window as her head lolled to the side.
“Why don’t you drink some of that water I gave you, love? You might be a bit dehydrated already, and you’ll need your strength,” he urged gently, squeezing her arm. She looked down at the bottle in her lap and glared at him for being right, but the cool water did soothe her parched throat and eased some of the tension in her muscles. By the time they got back to campus, though, Emma was literally limp from exhaustion.
Checking in was incredibly easy. Emma had guessed right; because of the school’s strictly enforced privacy rules, they didn’t have to interact with anyone but the staff member who showed them to their assigned room. A woman from housekeeping led them upstairs while Killian held onto Emma, who had burrowed into her blanket. It was a bit of a mess after their activities in the truck, but she needed it, and whatever Emma needed, she’d get.
Killian remembered learning about situations like this in high school health class: an Omega’s instincts and defensiveness intensified during a heat, so familiar and soothing things shouldn’t be taken away from her. Killian knew it was up to him to make sure Emma felt safe and secure. Once the extra bedding, towels, and cases of water were stored away, the housekeeper left, and they were alone together.
“Ugh, I need to shower,” Emma whined as he set her down, burrowing her face into his chest. He chuckled, kissing the top of her head.
“That can most certainly be arranged. Go and relax, love,” he said, handing her a fluffy blue towel from the stack of stuff they’d been given.
Once he heard the water running, Killian kicked his sneakers off and made himself comfortable on the bed, switching the television on. Mindlessly, he flicked through the channels, trying to calm his frayed nerves. He had never been with an Omega in heat before, and there were so many unknowns. How long would they be here? What if he couldn’t get the job done for some reason, and she rejected him? What would happen if he slipped up and told her his true feelings by mistake?
Maybe watching some baseball would help push the self-doubt away, and get him in the right mindset. By the time the bathroom door opened, Killian was so fully immersed in the Red Sox vs. Cardinals game that he had shifted to the edge of the mattress, laser focused on the screen. He had no idea that Emma snuck up behind him, covering his eyes.
“Hello Swan… I trust you found the shower refreshing?” he asked, drawing one of her wrists to his lips.
“Yeah, absolutely; good pressure, plenty of hot water… I’d give it three stars,” she said with a smile, removing her other hand from his eyes. She perched herself on the corner of the bed, knowingly blocking his view of the television. He didn’t mind in the slightest, as she was wearing nothing but a short terry cloth robe, using the bath towel to dry her hair.
“Why’d you take away a star? Surely a shower that nice would merit four,” Killian teased, before his eyes zoomed in on her robe as it crept up to the tops of her thighs.
“Eyes up here, buddy!” she barked, just convincingly enough to make his ears turn red. Laughing, Emma threw the towel on the floor, finger-combing her hair into loose waves before inching her way back toward the pillows. Once there, she relaxed against them with her legs stretched out, long and lean.
“There wasn’t any room in the shower for my favorite Alpha, and I got lonely,” she sighed, her lips pressing together in an exaggerated pout. “Isn’t that awful?”
Killian nodded, his eyes glazing over at the sight of her laid out before him like a present waiting to be unwrapped. “It’s truly despicable, Swan. We shall have to remedy that at once…” he purred, crawling up until he hovered right over her, caging her in with his arms.
“Yes,” she hissed, quickly undoing the belt so her robe lay open, displaying every square inch of her flushed skin.
“Fucking exquisite,” he rasped, dipping his head to kiss her hungrily, using a knee to nudge her thighs further apart. Emma arched her back and moaned as her head hit the pillow, making sure he got an eyeful of her chest.
“I need to feel your mouth on me, Alpha, and your hands…like what you did in your truck,” she told him hoarsely, reaching up to try and grab him by the collar. He dodged at the last moment, ripping the shirt off himself before diving back down to lick a stripe right between her breasts. She let out a soft moan, her nipples stiffening in response to his touch.
“I am going to worship you tonight, Omega,” he rasped into her shoulder, pausing to nip at the skin above her collarbone before trailing his lips up her graceful neck. “I already know how damn good you feel around me, and that your taste is just delectable, but there’s one more thing that I’m just desperate to learn about…” he told her with a grin, sliding his mouth back down to her chest. He bit down on one nipple while pinching its twin at the same time and she cried out, pressing her pelvis up almost involuntarily.
“Does that mean you’re gonna knot me this time, Alpha? Now that I’ve seen what you have to offer, I want yours even more,” she told him between jagged breaths, cupping his crotch before slipping smoothly out from underneath him to switch their positions.
“Ooh, so fiery…I like this side of you very much.” he smirked, watching her shrug her robe completely off, clawing at the button of his jeans before they popped open. In the time it took him to blink, Emma divested him of his remaining clothing, gasping when his quickly hardening cock sprang up.
She moved up to straddle his thighs, and he watched as she started touching herself, slipping two fingers into her wetness, pumping them lazily before adding a third. “Mmm…Seeing how hard you get, just from watching me touch myself? Alpha, it’s so fucking hot,” she whispered, pulling her fingers out so she could run her slick-covered hand over his length. He shivered and closed his eyes, gripping her hips tightly enough to leave marks as he bit out a few choice curse words.
“You nearly made me come, Omega. It’s a damn lucky thing that I have amazing control,” he said, raising himself up on his elbows. “But that’s enough teasing for now; get up on your knees,” he ordered, the words rising up from some feral place deep in his gut. His eyes were dark with lust, and his gaze roamed freely over her entire body.
Emma was in a similar state, licking her lips as she admired the lean muscular planes of his form. For as long as they were in this room, he was her Alpha, and she felt very possessive. She rose back up, never losing eye contact after she’d positioned herself to sink down onto his cock. Her movements were almost torturously slow, teasing him and squeezing her inner muscles to give him just a little extra stimulation.
“You like that, Alpha?”
He liked it; hell, he loved it. The instant they were fully joined, she ground her ass against his thighs and they both moaned loudly at the relief of it, savoring the feeling together. Emma leaned forward, placing both hands on this chest as she began rolling her hips. In response, Killian thrust upward, bending his knees for better leverage.
“I want you to tell me exactly how you like to be touched, Omega,” he urged, squeezing her ass as he watched her writhing above him. “I want to know so I can find all of the new places to touch, and the ways to make you scream and beg for more,” he revealed.
“My nipples are really sensitive right now,” she breathed, raking her fingers through his chest hair. “Bite them, squeeze them, whatever…I’m getting closer!”
“As you wish,” Killian growled, thrusting faster as he ran his rough hands over her breasts, twisting and rolling until she let out a shriek of pure pleasure, repeating his name as she tightened around him, shaking from the force of her release. As difficult as it was to hold himself off, Killian managed, only pulling out as her aftershocks tapered down. If he dared to look at his cock, fully engorged and dripping with her essence, he would have popped his knot, losing complete control of himself. He had to move quickly.
“If you want my knot, I need you to get on all fours and turn around… NOW,” he growled, mostly from the pain of literally holding off his orgasm. Wordlessly, she did just as he asked, still lightheaded from her own pleasure. She could feel fresh slick trickling down her thighs, as if her body knew what was coming. Listening to that inner voice, Emma tucked her arms under her forehead and lifted her ass a little higher in the air.
She felt his hands smoothing down her back and hips as he moved into position behind her. The heat from his body was almost overwhelming but still she shivered, craving more. Killian’s familiar scent calmed her down, as did the gentleness in his voice when he spoke.
“Before we take this step, Emma, I need to ask you one more time: are you sure this is what you want?”
“Oh, fuck yes,” she purred, and before she knew it, he covered her body with his, thrusting into her completely. Emma had never felt so full in all her life, and she knew instantly that she’d made the right choice in her partner. Adjusting her position a bit, she took several deep breaths, enjoying the pressure and stretch from his girth at the new angle.
“Everything ok, Iove?” he asked, sounding worried that she was in pain.
“I feel wonderful, Alpha,” she soothed, lifting her hips higher and arching her back so he could slide all the way in. Her ass wiggled against his balls, causing him to pant harshly, unsure how much longer he’d be able to hold on. Emma turned her head, looking up at him as best she could. “Why are you holding back, Killian? I’m ready, and I want you,” she told him, rocking her hips back as she arched her spine to further encourage him.
“I want you too, love— believe me,” he rasped, nuzzling into her neck as he squeezed her hip. “You feel so unbelievably perfect. Touch yourself, so we can do this together…It will feel so much more satisfying for you, I swear it,” he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion.
Emma was so moved by his constant consideration that she just nodded, bringing her fingers back to circle her clit roughly. That seemed to satisfy him, so he finally started moving again, taking her with fast, deep strokes. “Oh yes, Alpha, that’s the spot…Fuck! You feel so good,” Emma cried as she hurtled toward another release.
“I knew you could get yourself there, Omega. So unbelievably sexy,” he groaned, voice low and seductive. “You feel like heaven around my cock…”
There were no more words after that, just the sounds of their ragged breathing and slick skin colliding, building up toward a frenzied climax. She fell first, the tension mounting until it finally broke into seemingly endless waves of pleasure. With a final snap of his hips, he pushed forward, and when her muscles stretched enough to capture his knot, he could finally let go.
Experiencing such intense intimacy with Emma was the most satisfying high Killian had ever felt. He came hard, and as her walls spasmed, their bodies locked together to ensure that his release remained exactly where it was supposed to be.
In that moment he knew, with an almost primal certainty, that he had found his mate.
By the time the aftershocks ceased, they were sweaty and exhausted, barely able to coordinate themselves to lie down comfortably. Emma yawned, stretching her limbs as carefully as she could to avoid jostling his knot, but Killian was already falling asleep, his arm slung loosely across her hips. Aside from where they were joined, he made sure to keep an inch or two of space between them, avoiding too much skin contact for her comfort. It was exactly that kind of care, even to the smallest gesture, that made Emma’s heart swell with affection. The wonderful guy behind her was so thoughtful that he knew, without having to ask, how much she valued her space.
Emma wanted to let go of all her worries, and just bask in the incredible endorphin rush until she fell asleep — but her brain wouldn’t stop spinning. She heard his mind-blowing words and thinly veiled feelings on a loop inside her head, and it scared her to death. She knew what would happen if she allowed him in too close; they’d get too serious, too fast. Then, like so many other people in her life — from the parents she’d never known, to all the foster homes filled with neglect and broken promises —- he’d get tired of or abandon her. Everything, including their friendship, would crumble into dust.
Long before Emma met Killian, she had decided that she wouldn’t let anything distract her from her work, and it was even more true now. She couldn’t afford the emotional and physical maelstrom that a real heat caused, so going back on her meds was the best way to achieve her goals, even if it meant forcing herself to walk away from the man whose embrace had begun to feel like home. As her eyes drifted shut, Emma resolved to make her feelings clear after her hormones had settled.
##########
Killian awoke peacefully, just as the morning sun’s first rays began to filter in through the window blinds.
He was disoriented for a moment, knowing that he wasn’t in his own bed, but the soft snores from the body next to him, hopelessly tangled in the sheets, gave him a quick reminder.
Emma.
Emma, who apparently snored in her sleep? She was dozing on her side, facing the wall, so he propped himself up on one elbow, content just to watch her over her shoulder.
They’d had quite an exhausting night, so he was glad that she was able to get some rest. A few of the old wives’ tales he’d heard over the years ran through his head: Omegas who couldn’t sleep for days straight during a heat because their bodies needed constant stimulation; guys who almost asphyxiated in their partner’s slick during oral sex; the couple who spent 12 hours in an intimate tie because every time they tried to separate, it triggered simultaneous orgasms. At least that couple was trying for a baby, so they got their happy — albeit, unconventional — ending.
He shifted to focus his attention on his bedmate, who looked so peaceful and far removed from the chaos her body was going through. She had a small smile on her face, like she was in the middle of a very pleasant dream, and it filled his heart with happiness.
Dammit, get yourself together, man! Killian thought, chastising himself for such un-Alphalike behavior. It brought back unpleasant memories of his domineering father, who always berated him for walking away from playground fights as a child. Brennan Jones never walked away from a brawl, a “value” he tried to instill in his sons every single day, until he up and abandoned them in the dead of night.
Killian and his brother had worked hard to rise above their father’s pettiness, and as a result, Liam found a wonderful wife and partner in Elsa. Emma had a similar quality about her, enabling Killian to be softer and more in touch with his emotions. He had never experienced that with anyone else, not even his brother.
The woman in question was fast asleep at the moment, so he could take the time to memorize every freckle and laugh line on her face. If she ever found out how deeply he truly felt about her, she’d get scared and put distance between them. In the literal heat of the moment, Killian decided to let all of their issues and hangups fall to the side for a while. He wanted to enjoy this experience, and for that to happen, he needed to be unburdened.
A few minutes later, he fell asleep, breathing in the light floral scent of her shampoo.
###########
When they awoke after a long snooze, Emma was wild-eyed and wanting once again, but at least he persuaded her to guzzle down two water bottles and a Lemon Luna Bar before they got back down to business.
Unfortunately, a series of loud knocks on the door popped their bubble of serenity.
“Killian, just be as quick as you can…I need you,” Emma whined, writhing against the rumpled sheets. He stole one more kiss before sliding off the bed, nearly biting through his lower lip when he saw her, lying there all naked and glowing, waiting for him.
“Don’t you worry, sweetheart. In a few minutes, I’m going to give you exactly what you need,” he assured her soothingly, pulling on his discarded jeans and a grey t-shirt before slipping out the door.
He was flummoxed to see a woman in crisp blue scrubs standing at the door, holding a clipboard. A cardboard box stood by her side.
“Good evening, Mr. Jones, my name is Tracy and I’m the on-call nurse tonight. It’s just about time for your 24 hour check-in, so I have to ask you a few quick questions, then I’ll be on my way. I’ve also got your laundered personal items,” she said cheerfully, gesturing for him to pick it up.
“Oh sure, thanks very much! Everything is just fine here, really…” Killian replied, bending to grab the box so she wouldn’t see his face and ears turn a ridiculous shade of pink.
She still had a list of questions for him, so Killian raked a hand through his hair, shoved a thumb into his front belt loops, and prayed that she wouldn’t ask about bodily fluids. “Ok, let’s see now: any fevers, dehydration, headaches, or dizziness to report?”
“None at all. I’ve been paying close attention to her hydration,” he answered, looking at the nurse’s immaculately white shoes in order to avoid her gaze.
“Good. No excessive bleeding, burning, chest pain, or hmm...panic attacks?” she asked, jotting a few check marks down in her notes.
“Definitely not, although she might start panicking if I don’t get back in there!” he joked with a tight smile, looking up just as the nurse raised her eyebrows, looking suspiciously like she didn’t mind his intense discomfort. He felt mortified. What other invasive questions was this woman going to ask?
“Well, if you don’t have any questions for me, I think that’ll do it for now. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it Mr. Jones?” she asked, her chipper tone causing Killian’s jaw to clench. “Remember, call us in case either of you have any dehydration symptoms or are in need of more supplies. We’ll see you again in about 12 hours. Bye now!”’
“Thanks very much, Tracy. Have a pleasant evening!” he called as the nurse walked down the hall, off to harass another hard-working “caregiver.”
Apparently, that was the official name in this place for people like him.
Relieved that the strange interlude was over, Killian went back into the darkened room. The bed was empty, and his protective hackles raised immediately, despite there being no realistic way that Emma could have gone far. Nevertheless, his pheromone-heightened senses caused him to worry, so he breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of the shower running. Heart hammering, Killian walked past the small kitchen to the bathroom door and knocked tentatively.
“Killian? You’re back, finally! I decided to take a quick shower, so I’ll be out in just a sec,” Emma’s voice floated over the spray. The thought of her, wet and naked and covered in soap suds, sent blood rushing south so fast that his head spun.
“Aye, love! Take as long as you need,” he called, cursing under his breath when his voice cracked like a gawky teenager. While she finished up in the shower, Killian occupied himself by changing the sheets and checking the room’s thermostat before stripping down to his boxers and settling back into the bed.
By that point in their time together, he was so attuned to her needs that even the faint sound of her humming happily to herself aroused him to full mast. It was almost ridiculous how badly he wanted her. The desire to offer his body and to be fully accepted into hers, combined with his new knowledge of her taste and scent nearly overwhelmed him, driving him closer to a heat-induced rut.
An Alpha’s version of heat, ruts occurred naturally about 3-4 times a year, but they only lasted 48 hours at most. In cases where an Omega’s heat induced a state of rut in her Alpha partner, it usually meant that the pair had the highest compatibility rate for producing healthy children. Some people even believed that it was proof that the couple were soulmates.
The thought of it happening to them gave Killian the oddest sense of pride, but he knew Emma would freak out if he dared ever mention that subject in her company.
“Heyyyy, looks like you’re having some interesting thoughts over there! What are you up to?” Emma asked, leaning against the wall wearing nothing but a towel and a smile. Her wet hair was combed back and her skin was glowing, making her look like a siren in terry cloth.
“Oh, nothing too exciting,” he answered playfully, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that always made her laugh. He pulled the sheets away from the tent in his boxers, patting the spot next to him on the bed with a teasing grin. “You know, I do have something for you over here, if you’re interested…”
Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his cheesy line, even though she knew she’d be in his arms in less than a minute.
And gladly stay in his arms forever, her heat-addled brain admitted traitorously.
But Emma didn’t really care to think about everyday life problems, not while her brain was all fogged up. Especially not while there was a sinfully attractive man waiting for her, ready to fulfill her every need and desire. She stayed where she was for a few seconds longer, enjoying the way his beautiful blue eyes looked her up and down, gazing admiringly at her form. He made her feel like the sexiest, most treasured woman in the world.
“I might be interested…” Emma murmured, finally answering as she sauntered over to the bed, rounding the corner to stand right next to him.
Killian just smirked, and before she could do any more teasing, he grabbed her by the waist and dropped her gently onto the bed.
“What’d you do that for?” Emma sputtered, moving to sit up. Heat or no heat, she didn’t like surprises.
“I’m sorry for the lack of warning, Swan, but I really do need you to be on the bed for what I have planned,” he revealed, his voice pitched down to a low rumble as he encouraged her to back up against the pillows. When she was arranged as he desired, Killian brought his hand up to stroke her cheek gently, and she melted into his touch.
Emma took his face in her hands and drew him in, kissing him hungrily as he pulled the towel from her body. It fell to the floor with a soft swoosh, but she didn’t even notice because his hands were everywhere. They roamed over her curves as his lips traveled to her neck, where a few moments of playful nipping and kissing her there elicited a series of needy moans. When he grazed her scent gland with his teeth, she shivered with delight, his name on her lips.
“Hmm, you smell absolutely delicious,” he whispered against her neck, inhaling deeply right near the sensitive gland. Emma sighed with pleasure, dragging her nails through the hair on his chest as he purred contentedly at the attention. She inhaled sharply as his fingertips brushed over the wetness between her thighs, clicking his tongue in mock disapproval while his index finger swirled around her clit.
“Alpha…” she pleaded, sliding down the pillows as she opened her thighs wider, inviting him to settle in between.
“Why didn’t you tell me how wet you were already, Omega?” he teased, chuckling as he continued exploring her folds, fingers gliding in and out effortlessly while she writhed pleasurably under his touch.
“I didn’t realize how much I needed you. Just keep doing what you’re doing,” she ordered, eyes screwed shut as the familiar tension began to coil in her belly.
“More of my fingers, or will you let me pay homage to your beautiful body with my mouth?” he crooned, watching carefully as she opened her eyes, eager as he was for her consent. Emma reached up to kiss him while she thought it over, enjoying the smooth and confident way he curled and darted his tongue. When they pulled apart, she was gasping for breath, desperate for his touch.
“Mmm, I haven’t had any good experiences receiving oral before, but I think you’re about to change that, Alpha. Fuck me with that pretty mouth of yours.”
His face lit up, as if she’d just told him that he won the lottery. It was so adorable and unexpected that Emma couldn't help but grin back, blushing.
“Absolutely. I promise that you won’t regret it,” he told her, his cute smile turning into a leer as he zeroed in on her dripping center. “Lie back now, Omega, and lift your hips,” he instructed, quickly grabbing a larger pillow to position her pelvis where he wanted it.
Killian sat back on his heels to admire his handiwork. There she was, fully exposed to him; her golden hair looked wild and free against the sheets, and her beautiful face was flushed with arousal. Slowly, he slid his palms from her shoulders to her sternum, pausing to lavish attention on her breasts. All the while, he planted scorching kisses on her neck, across her collarbones, and down to her rib cage.
Not wanting to miss a detail, he skimmed his hands from her taut stomach to her slick-dampened thighs, as his tongue trailed down to her navel.
“Alpha…PLEASE!” Emma begged, so worked up that her entire body shook.
“Patience,” Killian chided gently, placing a kiss to each inner thigh, then one brush of his lips to her center. Just when she thought she would burst, he surged forward, finally burying his tongue inside of her. Expertly, he massaged her clit with his mouth while using his fingers to stroke her g-spot to a quick, toe-curling release.
Her scream was a sound he’d never forget: uninhibited, passionate, and strong, just like the woman herself. As Emma’s breathing slowed, Killian slowly unwound himself from her body. Sliding up to lie next to her, he propped himself on one elbow to face her.
“Mmm, that was wonderful. Thank you,” she nearly slurred, cracking her eyes open slowly.
“You’re most welcome. Would you like a drink?”
She nodded, so he reached over to the nightstand where he’d stored a few water bottles. They both drank silently as Emma collected herself, her hazy eyes clearing and sharpening to hone in on her partner’s clear need of her.
“Alpha,” she murmured, looking down at his clothed erection.“You look like you could use some serious TLC. Take those off and let me take care of-”
Killian put a finger to her lips, cutting her off with a grin. “I’ll show you serious; get up, love,” he said , raising his eyebrows in a way that piqued her interest. She moved to let him get off the bed and followed him over to the front edge. He stripped, then sat down and grabbed her hands, drawing her in close. She narrowed her eyes, wondering what the hell he was up to.
“What are you doing?”
“I have a new idea, but I need you to trust me. I’d never hurt you, Emma; I can promise you that,” he assured, bringing her hands to his lips so he could place a kiss atop both sets of knuckles. The gesture made her smile, and she nodded in agreement. “All you need to do is get up on the bed, knees bent. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Looking more than a bit skeptical, Emma climbed onto his lap and straddled his hips on her knees as requested, placing her hands on his shoulders for balance. Almost immediately, he kissed her roughly, sucking her lower lip into his mouth while squeezing her hips. It felt as if every nerve in her body lit up in excitement as slick dripped onto his shaft.
“Ohhh, Emma…fuck, I thought I could wait, but I need to be inside of you right now. Just lift up, love…” he panted, sounding absolutely wrecked with lust.
“Yes, Alpha, please…” She did as he asked and immediately felt his cock nudging her entrance, hot and rock hard. Killian groaned as he guided himself inside of her, and she angled her descent, sinking down onto him as he began to rock up. He wrapped an arm around her, kissing her neck while Emma clutched at the back of his head, combing her fingers through his hair.
The position was intense: he was so deep now that he was hitting new places inside of her, making her shiver even though they were both damp from exertion and slick. They kept rocking against each other, finding a rhythm as they picked up speed.
“Killian,” Emma said with a hoarse voice, swallowing thickly. He raised his head from where it was nestled against her shoulder.
“Yes, love?”
“The way we are now…you’re hitting the perfect spot. It’s good for me, but is it good for you?” She asked, moving a sweaty lock of hair off his forehead.
“Don’t worry about me, Omega. This part’s all about you,” he breathed, trying to concentrate his efforts on hitting the same spot over and over so she could come. His muscles were beginning to tire, and he was dying to knot her, then take a shower and fall asleep, but he loved the closeness they had in this position.
Emma could tell that he was exhausted, so she kissed him and moved faster, snaking her fingers down to rub circles against her clit.
“That’s it, Omega,” he whispered, breaking their kiss as he stared down at her fingers moving so close to where they were joined. “I can feel you getting even hotter inside, that’s how I know you’re close. Tell me to go faster if that’s what you need, Emma…”
“Yes, faster and harder, please!” she begged, her breathy moans getting more frantic and louder as she approached her peak. The moment she snapped, he felt an incredible spasm of muscles gripping almost his entire length. While Emma was in a state of total ecstasy, Killian realized that he was on the brink too, with no hope of staving it off.
He gazed at her longingly, feeling like his blood was racing like liquid fire through his veins. His mind was consumed with images of knotting her slicked up body against the wall, pumping her so full of his release that he wouldn’t need to mark her; every Alpha on campus would know that she was off-limits.
“Emma, I want to pick you up and knot you against the fucking wall. I’ve been picturing it since we got here,” he confessed, groaning almost painfully as he pulled out of her warmth. “Now is the perfect moment; you’ve come so many times that you’re more than ready to take my knot. Will you let me?”
“DO IT. I want it, Alpha, now!” Emma hissed, gripping his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist. Her command gave Killian a surge of strength, and he rose, slamming her up against the nearest wall as he gripped the backs of her thighs. Guided as if by instinct, she grabbed hold of him, frantically angled their bodies until they clicked right back into alignment, like two puzzle pieces.
The heat generated between them increased rapidly into an inferno, as sweat and slick rolled down their bodies. He pounded into her like a man possessed, bracing his forehead against her chest as each thrust brought them closer to the brink.
“Mmm, I wish it could always be like this, Omega. I’d be balls-deep inside you every fucking night,” he growled, the sound coming from deep inside his chest, vibrating against her own.
“Yes, Alpha,” she agreed breathlessly, nodding as she held him closer, the thought of it taking shape inside her head. “Always want your knot inside me!”
“Then you shall have it,” he muttered darkly, pulling back once more before he slammed his pulsing knot deep inside her, making Emma scream his title as her orgasm overwhelmed her. His own release was long and satisfying, as if their bodies were urging each other to give more and more until oversensitivity forced them to stop moving. Breathing hard, they nearly slumped against the wall, until Emma tapped her heel against the ticklish spot on the back of his right thigh.
“Wench,” Killian groaned, making her laugh as he managed to get them over to the bed and onto their sides. With a sigh, she tucked her head under his chin, and once their breathing normalized, a comfortable silence filled the room.
##########
It took longer than usual for his knot to deflate, leaving them both sticky and uncomfortable. After separating, they rolled away from each other for a while, both needing breathing space and time to process what had just happened between them.
Emma melted into her pillow as she lay on her stomach, flinging her right arm in his general direction. Killian reached for her fingers, interlacing them with his as he gazed up at the ceiling.
“Holy shit, Killian, I don’t even know what to say! That was amazing,” she marveled, turning to face him. “Does knotting just get better and better every time? I don’t know if that can be topped,” she chuckled, amused by her own double entendre.
He laughed too, but his mind was whirling with confusion. He had no idea whether or not he should tell her the truth, the one he kept hidden away. In the end, Killian decided to confess only halfway.
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, it’s like any kind of sex: best practiced with someone you really care for.” he told her softly, hoping that hearing the seriousness in his voice and seeing the love he felt for her in his eyes would help him get through to her.
Her eyes widened, showing a mix of emotions: affection, sincerity, tentative happiness…but fear was lurking in the background, just waiting to push its way forward. Luckily, though, she softened, opening her arms as she turned to face him.
“Killian, will you just hold me for a little bit?”
Without answering, he reached for her and scooped her into his arms. She laid her cheek against his chest, nuzzling into his warmth as she draped one leg lazily over his.
“Of course I will, love. I always will; you know that right?” he murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head before resting his own back on the cool pillow. To Killian’s surprise, Emma snaked one arm around his waist and curled against him, holding onto his bicep like she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t go anywhere.
As he listened to her breathing even out, he combed his fingers gently through her hair, wishing this perfect moment with an unguarded Emma could last forever.
##########
When Emma appeared in the doorway to her and Mary Margaret’s room two days later, eyes red-rimmed and baggy from exhaustion, her roommate knew something was deeply wrong.
“What happened, sweetie?” Mary Margaret asked gently, guiding her friend back inside, her familiar fleece blanket trailing sadly behind her.
“This morning, I woke up just as the sun was starting to rise, and even though I don’t usually have any problem getting back to sleep, I felt so dizzy that I couldn’t close my eyes! Drinking water helped, but I haven’t felt so bad in years — just nauseous, bloated, and really sore from the past three days,” Emma told her, dropping onto her desk chair with a thump. “All of those times when you said that a natural heat’s end feels like a hangover, I thought you were being dramatic. Now, I know better…” she groaned, turning around in her chair to lay her head on the desk.
“Hey, c’mere,” Mary Margaret urged, holding her arms out, and after a few moments of hesitation, Emma turned and accepted the supportive hug, grateful that she wasn’t being judged. “I don’t understand why you insisted on coming back here all by yourself. Where’s Killian?”
When Mary Margaret pulled back and clasped Emma’s shoulders, she knew that it was time for her to explain her actions.
“Emma, did you check out of the building without telling Killian? Does he know that you left? I’m not judging, just asking…”
Emma’s silence answered the question, and Mary Margaret’s heart shattered for both of her friends. She and David had high hopes that the pair of them would just realize once and for all how perfect they were for each other.
“I just had to get out of there! I was starting to get claustrophobic, and I didn’t want to deal with him worrying about me, so I left. He was sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t have the heart to wake him,” she tried to reason, but Emma knew how irresponsible her actions had been.
“How could you do that to him?” Mary Margaret gasped, trying to rein in her shock at Emma’s carelessness. Unfortunately, the tears running down Emma’s face showed that she had failed.
“Listen, I need a long shower and a good nap. I can’t deal with these feelings right now,” Emma said dully, shrugging her shoulders as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. Mary Margaret’s expression softened.
“That sounds like a good plan, Emma. Do you want me to leave so you can have some private time?” She asked, but Emma shook her head vehemently, clearly wanting comfort from her friend.
“After I get back, why don’t we spend some time together? Let’s watch some brainless tv, and maybe make hot cocoa with cinnamon. It’d be nice to hang out,” Emma cajoled, grabbing her shower caddy and towel so she could use their floor’s shared bathroom.
“Of course!” Mary Margaret replied with a placid smile. Once Emma left the room, she picked up her cell phone, telling David to be on the lookout for his own roommate. Killian hadn’t returned yet.
“Killian’s cell phone is still going directly to voicemail, so the only thing we can do is wait for him to surface. I’m sure he’s just fine,” David reassured her, but Mary Margaret wasn’t placated.
“You’d be more concerned if you had seen the way Emma looked when she got back, David! She’s a wreck, and it looks like she spent a long time crying. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry before! Usually, Emma keeps everything inside and Killian’s the one who wears his heart on his sleeve. I’m worried about him…” she whisper-spoke into the phone, just in case Emma returned.
“I’ll let you know the minute I hear something. He’s probably just licking his wounds somewhere — what Emma did sounds pretty heartless to me, so I wouldn’t be shocked if he’s hurting,” David pointed out, and Mary Margaret sighed in agreement.
“Don’t judge her too harshly, David. Promise that you’ll call me when he gets back, in case he needs a hug, or even just a friendly shoulder to lean on?”
“I promise.”
#captain swan#cs au#captain swan fanfic#captain swan smut#omegaverse#alpha/beta/omega dynamics#best friends to lovers#cs ff
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if you got to choose, what would the despair disease look like for each of the dr2 survivors? (other than akane who we already saw)
i really like when ppl makes hajimes that he has zero filter for his bitchy thoughts, or unnaturally happy (bc boys self esteem is nonexistent :(
ooh fun! Ok
I thought it would be sort of oppositesies, based on Akane, but then it kinda sorta wasn't? But I'm basing it a little bit on that, or at least stuff that would be jarring for them specifically
Hajime: agreed on Happy Disease. I think I saw someone illustrate that once? Just like, not getting anything done because everything is so nice, totally complacent, smiling so much it hurts and his eyes water. Youd think it's nice but it's like, bordering on hysteria? He actually looks ... not super content.
Souda: Maybe like, Fearless Disease? Kinda turns into a big jerk, mocks everyone else for being worried, keeps trying to off on his own to find the killer or Monokuma because he ain't scare of no bear! Bring it on! Kind of scary almost??
Fuyuhiko: Ok so his primary function is Anger but anger is like a secondary emotion or whatever.... maybe Trusting Disease? I feel like that falls a bit into Ibuki's territory though. He's also very dedicated though, maybe like, Flippant? Like changes his mind about everything at the drop of a dime. Probably annoying if hes like "I'm gonna stay inside. ..... CHANGED MY MIND I'm outside now". (Or "I'm gonna try to be nice and friendly from now on... CHANGED MY MIND taste my blade")
Sonia: I feel like Sonia is the hardest because she doesnt have like a primary feature besides being Nice.... Bitch Disease?? 😂😂 just SUPER mean to everyone. (So ... Hiyoko Disease lmao) I bet she could cut deep if she wanted to. Maybe she'd even like, pit people against each other?? Since she's kind of team "Everyone stop fighting 😣😣" ??
(here I accidentally got too deep into this scenario and it turned into a canon divergence lol oops)
I feel like if this, Sonia and Souda would be a very explosive combination and probably be need to kept apart from one another. Hajime isn't really any danger to anyone by himself, only if the killer got to him and manipulated him, but everyone can really feel how hard it is to do investigations and trials without him. Fuyuhiko *is* a danger to himself (when isn't he) and just needs supervision and someone patient. Might also be a little dangerous on and off but thankfully he's too loopy to actually plan anything.
I'm also imagining who would be sort of, in charge... Last time it was Hajime Fuyuhiko and Mikan, Mikan is still around so she can still be the Nurse and taking care of everyone, but Nekomaru and Peko (who would generally be taking care of their respective people) are gone. So??
Would Chiaki volunteer to stay behind in the hospital? Idk why she didn't the first time, it seems like sth she'd do. Nagito probably shouldn't be around a disease of any kind, so he's out. That leaves Gundham, Hiyoko, Akane and Ibuki (assuming we're leaving Akane out)... out of all of them, I feel like Akane or Gundham would volunteer. Prrrroooobably Gundham? Bc we're mixing it up and because he might think he's immune to diseases of this world or whatever.
Ok so Gundham, Chiaki and Mikan are at the hospital!
Ok so in this case maybe this is when we switch to Nagito POV? Hajime can't die yet, we need him, he's too plot relevant. If this is the same happening but different people, I think it's only fitting that Mikan gets the same disease and ends up being the killer, only because I feel like Remnant Memories trump every other motivation and need to be established as Super Dangerous.
(EDIT:) WAIT OMG Chiaki was never a remnant but what if.... Remnant!Gundham.... especially if Sonia was introduced sooner a a love interest, and Souda, the heartbreak, that could be scary too aaaaaa I already posted tho
Fuyuhiko dying would be a narratively bad choice considering his two death scares so far, but also kind of hilarious (I've mentioned before, since he was SUPPOSED to die at the hospital, how funny it would be to have him finally croak at that point; but it IS narratively Not Good). So he and Hajime are safe (yay)
what if. Remnant!Mikan manages to manipulate Sonia and Souda to go after each other, either of them kills the other, and the killer is executed. Since Mikan didn't actually kill anyone, she lives. What would happen then?? The remember disease goes away eventually, but would her memories of the whole disease ordeal? What if they just had a full on Remnant in their midst (I dont think that's how it would work, since Akane got better, but what if Mikan at least remembered manipulating the murders?)
I think it could be interesting, anyway. Oops! This went far lol
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