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#im scared to put tags bc i dont want to get hate
monismochi · 10 months
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OK so defo no shade to jk bc as much as he has choices in things, his label also has control (same goes with rapline) but like...
Trying not to feel irritated by how he has a half dozen remixes of his song in order to raise its stream numbers and... nothing of the sort happened to rapline...
Like I also get it's for musical direction since he chose a pre-made pop song and wants to be a pop singer.. and it's harder for rap songs to get remixed well (and I don't think rapline would want their songs remixed badly when they worked on the production of the ogs) but just...
... it's not like hybe did anything to make up for that in other promotional ways....
Anyways, don't mind me. Just feeling a lil bitter about this...
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undermostcorgi · 3 months
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drawing other people's dnd characters based on the image i made of them in my head and NOTHING ELSE because i'm evil
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stupd000 · 3 months
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My typed reaction of Vegas BA bc everyone’s asleep
I love the guy who checks us in
Oh um don’t call me pet
Ermmmmm
Okay don’t like it so far
aw shucks i missed you too boo
no i will not come closer
ew no go away
oh nvm ig we are
wait so are we the dog or is he
okay this is getting boring
can we fuck now
oh wait nvm this is hot
oh WE’RE the puppy
that’s um
okay
is he calling me special
no i’m not ready to play VEGA.
i have a feeling we’re not alone
or we are
idk
okay we got some vouyers
that’s erm
okay
don’t call me pet
weirdo
excitement? no honey i’m scared
yes fear
ok can we fuck now
damn he talks a lot
stop echoing
oh don’t call me pup
oh this is some like
kinky kinky shit
how big is Vega
just in general cuz i thought he was like
6,1 and scrawny
um no my breath is oxygen not yours
this is definitely um
yeah
correct circumstances?
wardrobe?? bitch what is this Narnia
DONT CALL ME A PUPPY THATS WEIRD
i’m kink shaming
I am not getting on all fours what the fuck
oh nvm ig we are
this is uncomfortable
TAIL????
this is some furry shit
UM ..!
NO I WILL NOT CRAWL
WHATTTTTT
ASS?
SLUT???
this would be hot if i wasn’t a fucking dog
don’t shush me bitch
are we still on all fours
that’s mad embarrassing
i am not yours
weirdo
I’d rather you not take care of me
this is very um
interesting!!
Do we have dignity
STOP CALLING ME PUPPY YOU FURRY
do we have any pride at all like oh my god
GRINDING???
Don’t slut shame me bitch
arching????????
oh my god.
CUM HUNGRY LITTLE BITCH????
if he says puppy one more time i’m killing myself
if he puts a fucking collar on me i’ll jump
stop
STOPPP
Dog tag is crazy
“property of vega” NO.
Stop vega this is not a joke
DO WE HAVE NO SENSE OF DIGNITY
OH MY GODDDD
PROUD??? I AM NOT PROUD
OWNER???
I’m jumping off a ledge
MY HOLE?? WHICH ONE I HAVE LIKE 3
Okay stop slut shaming me Vega
ROLL OVER???
i’m insanely uncomfortable
by the way guys i made chicken alfredo today
Anyway
i hate his fucking tone
don’t take that attitude w me bitch
DO NAWTTT CALL ME A WHORE EVER AGAIN.
oh wait he called me pretty nvm
this is insane
it’s 2:30 am i cannot handle this
okay so we archin
PUT WHAT IN
WHAT IS GOING IN
this is strange
CALLING UR DICK A TREAT IS WILDDD
oh my god no
stop.
A TAIL???
NO
NO NO NO NO
NO
NO
no wait cuz there was this one kid who wore a butt plug tail to school it was crazy bc a guy pulled it out
anyway
This is some furry shit
not that there’s anything wrong w that live ur truth
STRETCHING???
the plug is insane
stop
i’m actually sobbing this is NOT OKAY.
what position are they in im so confused
SHAKE WHAT ASS
UMMMMMMMMM
this is peculiar
Vega is a furry
i hate this
i hate this sm
I STILL HAVE 10 MINS LEFT
LORD SAVE ME
okay no need to take that tone Vega😒
bitch we can’t breathe wtf
no i wont whine around that tootsie roll u call a dick
AHHH THE NOISESSS
okay can u not choke me
don’t call me a slut you cunt
oh my god hurry up vega
ew
I don’t love anything about this
this is insane
NOT A PERSON????
RUDEEEEEEEE
okay adjective king
ew don’t call me that
i am not licking the floor sir
i am not licking your boot either
lick your own fucking boot
this is actually pissing me off he’s annoying
are we almost done
Do we have no sense of shame
like at all
second hand embarrassment
okay are we done
no? okay
ew don’t call ur self master
that’s not..
okay
um
the growling is insane
damn right i’m divine
ew don’t call the that
not the baby voice
stop this madness
what do you want from me WHAT DO U WANNTTTT
okay are we done
TWITCHING?????? INSANE.
That was horrible
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raysletters · 5 months
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2023 Character Wrapped
Rules: share your top 9 characters of 2023
tagged by the lovely @suseagull04 (like, so long ago, but i had forgotten to do it so here i am)
1. Alex Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)
i wish i could explain to you the deep connection i have to this fictional man. he is me and i am him. he probably has been my favorite character since i first found him on 2021 (which is the longest hyperfixation ive ever had, funnily enough) and has actually shaped me to be more confident in myself and all that mushy stuff, so yeah, im just missing a henry kinnie that wants to put up with this mess.
2. Percy Jackson (Riordanverse)
i binge read pjo and hoo these last months, and the way ive become attached to this kid is something else. i want to protect him from anything.
3. Nico di Angelo (Riordanverse)
like with percy, i became attached to him from the moment he showed up, and i would protect him with my life even from rick riordan. he cant do no wrong ever.
4. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor (RWRB)
henry has specially gained a piece in my heart lately, but i have to be honest, when i first read about him, i thought nothing of him more than the perfect companion and love interest in alex's story. i have to say that getting a glance to his mind through both the bonus chapter and really fucking good fics gave me the insight i needed to comprehend him: his actions, his motivations, and everything in between that made him who he is and made me realize how many things we have in common and how many things i could learn from him, which is always a beautiful experience
5. June Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)
theres nothing i wouldnt do for her. even though i absolutely HATE how i wrote the fic that has june's pov, im still in the process of learning about her and comprehending her more. still, she reminds me so much of my own sister, even though i should kin her more than alex because of the whole sapphic latina journalist who loves her sibling very much, even when they annoy the shit out of you, but alas, im a younger sister and june has so much vibes of my own sister except with my tastes, so yeah, nothing i wouldnt do for her
6. Iris West-Allen (The Flash TV)
in case you didnt know this about me, i had a not-so-recent hyperfixation on the flash (and it can absolutely be seen in my sky high au), and she was half the reason of it. i wish i could put into words how much i fucking love her in every sense of the word. like, i'm in love with her but i also want her to be happy and protected at all costs and i would do anything for her to actually get those things. she can also step on me and i would thank her, but that is unrelated
7. Annabeth Chase (Riordanverse)
what you dont get is that for her i would become like a rabid feral gremlin or maybe that dog that takes a sword in its mouth and starts swinging carelessly. thats how ready i am to protect her from absolutely everything, even spiders, no matter how fucking scared i am of them
8. Imogen Heaney (Heartstopper TV)
yes, i am absolutely biased because the actress also has t1d and my hc is that now imogen also has t1d, but also because i, too, affirmed with my whole chest how i was an ally and totally straight and then slowly realized i was sapphic bc of one cute girl in my friend group that called me out on my bs 💀
9. Barry Allen (The Flash TV)
yes, we dont acknowledge that other version by that other actor. yes, he's last because i had a love-hate relationship with the way he was written. but season 8!barry became one of my favorite versions of him, and i absolutely thank grant (the actor) for the way he made me love the character once again
i missed so many characters that i love but just not like i love these ones. the only one who could easily take barry's place on the list would be nick nelson my absolute beloved, but since flash tv ended this year, it had me in my feelings and i couldn't not put him there, so yeah
DISCLAIMER: i am at the moment reading trials of apollo (im just like 1/4 of the first book) and if somebody spoils me anything i WILL become a rabid feral gremlin, this is your only warning, thank you very much.
anyway, you can consider this an open tag and do this and tag me in it bc i always love to read about yalls favorite stuff. still, no pressure, but im still tagging beautiful ppl so i can read about your favorite characters @anincompletelist @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @sherryvalli @14carrotghoul @formorewishes
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bunnychargebolt · 2 months
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Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)
I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.
But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.
Im
Hhhhhhhhhhhh
I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.
And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.
I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.
I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.
People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.
I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.
Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.
The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much
Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???
I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.
Im
Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.
And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.
And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM
Im not- i cant. Im
Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.
Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.
I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.
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cringelordofchaos · 6 months
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You asked Berry this so I am asking YOU out of spite for not asking ME
YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS??
IFHASHFKAJHVKAHDKC
uhmm ill be my own attorney in the court; in my defense, your honour, i saw berry reblog a post specifically about sonic sexuality headcanons and berry shared their hcs in the tags but also put in the tags abt how their 'headcanons may change'. and i wanted to see if their headcanons changed so i asked them
ANYWAY
uhh these r all pretty much identity + nd hcs so sorry if u were lookin for more
(edit:wait actually im gonna sort this into two parts:: queer + nd headcanons and then like. backstory and personality hcs)
SONIC: adhd, used to hc him as bi ace but fuck it hes romance repulsed oriented aroace, also me likes the idea of him being genderqueer in some way, moreso specifically either transmasc nonbiney or transmasc trigender. also adhd (side note i heard someone sayhe couldnt possibly have adhd cuz "he can focus on missions" and. wjhat.) also maybe ptsd from thecountless traumatic experiences hess had to endure
AMY: sappho. i have also adhd'ed her in the past but im not so sure npw. i also saw someone hc her as bipolar and thas valid
TAILS: i know he can definitely represent as an autistic stereotypce but look at him :(( (but i genuinely think his backstory is sort of a metaphor for the nd experience. and also i think theres a lot of things that may make him autistic codedthough albeit many of them r stereotypical). special interest in engineering
KNUCKLES: bisexual as ffffff, though he doesnt give a shi abt labels
and ofc STTICKS:: demirose lesbiian. . also female but she rlly doesnt care abt gender. also autistci mayhaps
now for the more interesting hcs:
SONIC: something traumatic happened to him that made him scared of water in the first place, thas for sure methinks. he also just doesnt really show his negative emotions and he moreso just tries to 'dealw it' instead. i have headcanoned this for years as many others have and it appears to be somewhat canon in frontiers which is pretty great. he plays the electric guitar and is a pretty skilled singer and yeah. chilli dawgs r his comfort food....... loves rock electric and heavy metal and sometimes listens to it on his runs. pretty comfortable w being independent . also this is not a headcanon but i dont think his idw iteration is that out of character. he sees pretty much everyone (rivals and frenemiesalike) as friendos
AMY: has some form of abandonment issues which is what makes her as clingy as she is. generally used to feel left out and misunderstood from sonic n others in games like adventure and adventure2 but their relationshipsget better. listen. listen i heard someone on tumblr hc amy having abandonment issues and it hasnt left my miind since. she used to feel embarrassed by herself and her personality but became much more expressive of herself as time went on bc she starrted feeling more accepted. DEFINITELY writes fanfiction and fancomics and draws fanart and likes theatre(this is canoon actually). has meetings w the girlsTM where she just reads their fortune n everything. she also said in one game that she aspires to BE LIKE sonic and i have hcs abt that as well. can b mischievious and sneaky. has a tarot card reading BUSINESS this girl earns money for this !! shes very magiical girl bc she can pull her hammer out there, tell the future, turn invisible, has a 'sonic snese' but this is not a headcanon this is canon. plays the violin. loves to create fun outfits. into knitting and crocheting. . yeah i have more
TAILS: he can get pretty insecure of himself at times, heholds high expactations of himself and feels like if he doesnt meet them he might as well be a failure. ooopslol. he also hates when ppl misinterperets who he is as a person and when they undermine how skilled he is. he sometimes doesnt really let others know how he feels and hides it w a positive attitude. his gizmo is his comfort item. sonic was his first friend. the reason why he acted cocky in lost world and constantly pointed out how they shouldnt trust eggman (although it was super ooc) is bc of how insecure he was and he felt like sonic didnt trust himenough. and he feels bad abt it. hm. he also likes to draw sometimes and is generally skilled and precise, partly bc he has to draw blueprints for his creeations. one of them orphans. wags his tails/unintentionally starts flying when hes excited (stimming woag). hes not really SCARED of thunderstorms but they ARE a sensory nightmare for hiim (loud, bright/0). sonic sort of 'taught him how to make friends'. he still has cosmo in the form of a plant inside his house. he has many bunkers/ Sometimes he has a hard time accepting help (inherited from his older brotherlol). his tails are an nd allegoryOK ILL SHUT UP NOW
KNUCLES: icoud rambllea lot about him whenever im in the mood especially when i seeppl misinterperet him but i dont really have much HEADcanons bc everything i say abt him is canon
STICKS: ok this is gonna sound wild and its definitely not original but. she has abandonment/truusst issues relatedto her former parents that have something to do w the government which is one of the reasons she became so hateful of th egovenrment. dont ask (actually do if you want to). generally feels free to be herself but there are times when she feels ashamed of her wild side ig you couldcall it. very creative.
the reason why theres not shadow even though hes one of the more popular ones is bc im just not obsessed w him at the moment sorry :(
I HAVE MORE but these are all FOR NOW
now YOU TELL ME YOUR SONIC HEADCANONS SO I DONT LOOK AS DELUSIONAL [[POINTS FINGER AT YOU]]
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fearowkenya · 1 year
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hm!
this is like vaguely related to that post abt ambiguity . i was gonna put this in the tags but uhhhh actually i dont want the op of that post to see it because it turned into a lot more words than i thought and at that point its like, make ur own post , yknow
anyway wrt ambiguity, normally i HATE not knowing stuff which is why i was p resistant to it before. something something deepseated belief that im not smart enough to read between the lines and that when i try im wrong because i am not smart so why even try. but actually maybe i am smart enough and the deepseated belief is wrong, and maybe its fun to try to figure stuff out yourself even if youre wrong or even if theres multiple possibilities. i digress.
basically i dont want to sound like one of these two specific flavors of dumbass:
i like knowing things yes but now i prefer 'knowing' things, in that i chewed on it until i think ive figured it out. could i be wrong? maybe. probably, even ,since i still have Issues with thinking im not smart enough to understand.
the first is just completely wrong bc i misunderstood something or interpreted smth in a way that is definitely incorrect or having not connected some pretty obvious dots
the second is more, Hahah check out this idiot who is trying to Understand when the point is Not Understanding. when ppl say they like ambiguity do they mean that they like coming up with their own conclusions regardless of if its the right one or not, or do they mean they see ambiguity and are like "MM who can say! anyway," and never think about it again. because i dont understand the appeal of that second thing , but if thats actually what it is, i worry i am not smart enough to understand why it appeals to people.
anyway thats why it takes me six million years to make posts abt shit i think ive figured out. even yesterday when i made the post abt okami i reread it like eight million times until i was confident id thought about every single possible angle.
its like, i dont actually care about being wrong, ppl are wrong all the time including me and thats just how it is to be a person. nothing wrong with being wrong. and its not like my interpretation HAS to be right, half the fun is hearing wildly different interpretations from other people.
its more that if im really excited n confident abt something i think ive figured out, i get very scared that ive overlooked something extremely obvious and that people will not be kind to me about it. this is kinda irrational because i probably dont want to be friends with people who are mean to me because i was wrong about something. but all the same, brains Been Like That for a long time.
what the fuck was this post about. oh yeah i like to chew on ambiguity its fun
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socksonvideo · 2 years
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i ask for knowledge of your oc please im still hungry (oc ask thing): 12, 20, 23, 28, and 35 please
 and i shall deliver (putting this under keep reading bc its LONG and i dont wanna flood the tag)
12. Druids or Darkcore?
tbh Aspen doesn’t like either but they’d pick druids over Darkcore because they’re not on board with evil squid god. End of the world? they’ll sleep on it.
The druids freak them out a bit. Especially her cousin. Her cousin is just weird about it. Aspen in general isn’t a quick to trust people person, but the druids are just off to them. Avalon is the most normal and probably the 
20. What do they do when meeting new people?
Depends on the person tbh. If it's a person whose normal, (not annoying in their eyes, or just anyone younger than them) they'll go out of their way to actually do a minimal amount of talking. While Aspen is not going out of their way to meet new people, they don't mind as long as conversations aren't long.
If someone's inconveniencing them, Aspen's only goal is to get them to leave them alone. They have various some-what methods of getting people to leave them alone. Just be mute and make them uncomfortable but in different ways. Does that always work? Def not, but they'd take that over constantly being stuck in conversation with annoying people. 
Lucky for them, they have possibly scared off/intimidated such annoying people from Stablebucks (which is where they have to talk the most, at the least) and now mostly just see the regular, normal people they've labeled as "Actually Okay."
23. What are they the best at? The worst at? 
Aside from the obvious horseriding, Aspen is an absolutely God (lmao) at playing violin. It was the first instrument they ever learned and has been going at it for 10 years. Show them a sheet of music and they can play it. Has had the violin version of a rick roll memorized since age 10. I will continuously repeat that Aspen sees Katja’s position as an absolute sin and will be making fun of her.
Using a chainsaw? No problem. Making the most complicated drink for a teen? Sure, whatever. Riding a bike? Erm.
yeah aspen canonically cannot ride a bike. They just don’t know how to do it. It freaks them out a bit, despite riding something that is objectively 10x worse than a bike. If they were willing to take the time to learn they’d probably be okay at it but no. nuh uh. We do training wheels only and those things people ride around on at the beach. I don’t know what they’re called, oops.
28. What’s some stereotypical popular things that they like/secretly like?
Aspen actually loves scrunchies, simply because they are more convenient for them than hair ties. They hate how hair ties yank multiple hairs out and scrunchies simply don’t do that! At least, for them they don’t. We don’t know about other people.
On the opposite hand, Aspen hates every ‘stereotypical white girl drink’ just because they have to make multiple of them most days. and they suck to make. 
35. How are they in conversation? (are they talkative? A good listener? Do they space out a lot?) 
Once again, depends on the person. However! I'm going to focus on 'conversations they'd care more about' because I feel like 'I don't want to be here' is obvious.
Aspen loves listening to people talk. Like, you could infodump to them and they would enjoy it greatly. You have a story? Let's hear it. Wanna talk about the weird person you met today? You two can laugh it out because Aspen will find it hilarious. It doesn't matter what it is.
They aren't very talkative in general (selective mute moment) but sometimes they'll engage. Especially if it's a shared interest, which is probably why they get along more with the "nerd/bookworm" people because that's what they're more into. Though, if they have a wild story, they're definitely going to tell you. The power of embarrassing people at work has a spot in their head for stories.
The only time Aspen spaces out is if they're really tired or just not interested. They try their best to pretend they care because they don't want to make you feel bad. This might just lead them to fall asleep though. Who knows.
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theoncefamily · 2 years
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Why do i feel like i am walking on this earth alone?… i have plenty of people who love me, but i feel like they already have their lives figured out and know where they are headed, and as much as i say the same, i feel like its going to be a path i take by myself.. i didnt have a best friend growing up… and i honestly feel like i have no friendships that i can say will be long lasting or at least people i can call my friends… theyre always everyone elses friends and i just tag along… if it werent for them, id be alone… im at a point where i am seeing all of the people from my past become a person of their own. I see my sister becoming a person of her own… and i cant help but notice how i am slowly falling behind… and the live that i am headed towards is the one i promised nyself not to have… the only person who i am attached to the hip to is my partner… but as much as i love him, and i love him with all my heart, i cant see a future for myself with him, without giving up so much of myself to the point where ill end up hating myself… i love him… truly.. and i want him in my life for as long as i live… but i cant picture myself in a situation where i dont end up hating myself if i go on with it… i honestly dont know if i am afraid of commitment or if im being comphet… im scared of what my future holds… and i am just waiting for the perfect excuse to leave it all behind and not have to worry about this anymore… i want to run away and find myself and not have to look back anymore… i know its only a matter of time before something changes in ny situation… before someone I love moves on w their life or gets an amazing opportunity and ill feel like i was left behind… and ten id have to settle for a life i dont want out of fear and staying in a safezone… i just want to be happy… but i am putting my happiness in the hands of others and not myself… bc thats what ive done all my life… i dont know what to do…
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choibinn3 · 3 years
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🗒TXT AS YOUR UNREQUITED CRUSHES!!
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txt members as those unreturned feelings you wish you could let go of :*)
tags; angst, fluff, ouchies but yk, young love or whatever, grammatical errors, college/high school au!
warnings; feelings of inadequacy, mild jealousy, self-deprecation, cursing
note; not used to doing hcs yet, so this is messy.. 😓 but also, i saw the boys rejecting in the same way, so some of these r left for interpretation or indirect rejections!!!
tbh the hcs just get longer&longer as u read on
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⌗ choi yeonjun!!
popular boy alert 🚨🚨
guys fucking everywhere, its so hard to get rid of him, and whenever you see him hes with a biiig group of ppl you dont know
youd gaze at him smacking his leg in doubled over laughter and feel an invisible barrier between him and yourself
but for some reason he always makes sure to say hi to you in the mornings or include you in class activities
and hes unfortunately very funny, and devastatingly pretty, so you cant exactly hate him just bc hes popular
your feelings probably start when youre both assigned cleaning duty or youre stuck next to each other in a group setting
it makes you feel weird in general bc no one with that many friends would want to do smthng like that, but then you realize maybe thats why hes got so many ppl hanging around him
after that, whenever he makes plans he always makes sure to ask you if you want to join,, and youre always confused
after that, whenever he makes plans he always makes sure to ask you if you want to join,, and youre always confused
after that one lengthy convo suddenly youre on his friend list now??? does he just put ppl on that randomly and quickly??
you almost blocked and ignored him the first time he sent you an invitation, convinced it was either a prank or the wrong number
"me and some other kids from this class are eating out tonight, wanna come?"
"excuse me, who is this??"
if you do agree to one of these plans though, more often than not itd be you clinging to him bc hes quite literally the only person you know
but its thrilling in a way to be technical friends with someone so fun and laid back. hes just so likable and all his mannerisms are just somehow cool, you cant help but want to be associated with that
and with the way he notices you and makes you smile, itd be hard not to fall for him
plus.. hes a natural flirt. charmer, whatever you call it when he smirks. you dont know if hes doing it in a friendly, fun manner or hes actually flirting
hes a tucks your hair behind your ear when listening to you talk, throws in an "ahh, youre so pretty today," randomly in conversation, idly playing with your fingers kind of flirt
he always keeps his arm around your shoulder, like, always. it has you questioning and scared if youre maybe too sweaty sometimes, but its just always there
when youre next to each other, walking, sitting, in fucking class if its possible?? he somehow does it everywhere, and yet also somehow makes it look like he isnt desperate to do it either
plus petnames. you see how he called wooyoung "cutie" and "darling" on that vlive?? it comes out of his mouth so smoothly you almost assumed it was a part of his vocabulary since birth
and its especially bad for your heart when youre just simply trying to tell the dude about class that day TT geez...
if you ever mention that youve never tried smthng (boba, sushi, anything really), will absolutely look at you incredulously before planning to go try it
"you—you what? do you live under a rock? no, no, we are going there next week."
"?? i have plans next week."
"not anymore, make room for 3pm. im paying."
oh yeah, he also NEVER lets you pay. its stupid, and even in group settings he somehow manages to convince everyone that its on him! no matter how stubborn the people are
all too quick though do you realize that all that you are is one of his friends. one of the many people surrounding him almost at all times
hes just as attentive as he is with you to his male nd female friends, as well as quite actually everyone else in your damn class (why does he have to be so kind?)
he flirts with them too,, all too often do you have to swallow that lump in your throat when watching him call his girl friend an exaggerated beautiful goddess
you know hes either joking or teasing—or both, with some truth, because hes never totally serious with it, but never not serious (whatever that means, but it makes sense in terms of yeonjun)
but you just cant help but tell yourself that all those times hes done the same with you were all fake, sweet lies
and you dont exactly have a deep connection with him, nor do you exactly know too much about him, so its all a weird conflict of emotions
youre his friend right?? just not close enough to text him at 4am, or to have vulnerable, soft moments together... it feels so distant, so out of reach
maybe youll have the confidence one day to send him a text, ask him to hang out one on one instead of a group thing
would he even make time for you though?? these sorts of things take planning, and youre almost certain his schedule is full, since hes just around everyone
it feels bad, and youre full of anxiety by the end of the time youve decided that tomorrow!! youll send him that text tomorrow
or next week, yup !!
⌗ choi soobin!!
hes absolutely perfect.
you probably met him through a mutual acquaintance on a friendly outing or randomly in class
"is this seat taken?" sort of meet cute
you guys would hit it off right away, and you honestly couldnt even begin to describe how perfect of a person he was
hes protective, attentive, and this has got to be more than any boy (or friend for that matter) has ever been willing to do for you
hes protective in the sense that hed ward off any creeps on trains with his staggering height (albeit maybe unintentionally), and then grab your waist so you dont stumble
attentive in the way that he buys you coffee or any of your favorite drinks before your morning class, and will memorize your order. it means a lot bc he has to wake up extra early, the coffee lines are always way too long in the mornings ☕️
he lets you take his notes and cram the day before any big test or exam, offering to quiz you afterwards if youre up for it too
for someone whos self-labeled himself as lazy, choi soobin sure is good at putting in effort for you :')
there to listen to any woes or complaints about any professors you have, and it feels like an actual friendship—if you ignore your festering feelings
it happens one day, you cant exactly pinpoint when, but it happens. youre all of a sudden conscious of yourself giggling at your phone when you realize how deep in you are
at first, you had just seen him as your tall, cute friend that youd be mistaken as a couple with.. but suddenly all those teasing comments from mutual friends has you impossibly flustered
it doesnt help that hes so, so sososo affectionate. in a casual way though, oh yeah. just grabs your hand or hits your shoulder when he laughs too hard, and absolutely does he back hug you
"[name], have you eaten yet? we can grab lunch later at the food place you like."
you can feel his chest on your back and it drives you insane, but for the sake of keeping it cool you shove that all down
his back hugs are almost just,, all consuming?? in a way? they envelop you fully, and sometimes on cold days you just sink in and it feels like your own coat lol
hes a tall dude, so whenever he hugs he either drapes himself over you or hugs you in a way that makes you feel so safe and secured it should be illegal
and his flirting... should you even call it flirting?? maybe youre reading into it too much
^ like the way hed wipe off any excess foam on your lips, or when he offers you food and goes "say ah~" before feeding it to you
bc friends do that. for sure, its totally fine and cool, but then he laughs so hard he has to rest his hand on your thigh. rest, as in it stays there for longer than your heart can handle
holds your hand when youre least expecting it. walking on the street, when youre focused in on an essay, playing around—its just bad for your health each and every time
youre not exactly sure what to do anymore when that old lady down the block from your apartment calls you a "lovely young couple!"
usually youd brush her off and promptly correct her, but now thats soobins job, because youre too busy losing your shit over his large hand being interlocked in yours
ultimately, you would feel like itd be best to just wallow in your feelings and think abt how cutely shaped his lips are T_T
bad, but... what was the better option?? risking a friendship with the first boy you found that wasnt scum???
if you do decide to risk it all and confess, oh boy, youll be the one feeling more guilty by the end of the day
hed be so apologetic, telling you that he didnt mean to lead you on, and if you dont reassure him the dude would swear to repent for the rest of his life
soobins really too nice.. which is why this would hurt even more
its sort of cute, how much hes fretting. tell him that you just wanted to get it off your chest, but still hope to remain as friends and things will go back to normal
well, as normal as it could be. you both have to ignore how he hesitates and then retracts his hand when hes laughing too hard and has to lean on you
also the fact that his hugs arent as warm, hes so reluctant to even touch you now, and instead of wiping off any foam himself, he hands you a napkin
its bittersweet really 😓
⌗ choi beomgyu!!
yet another mfker you cannot get rid of!!
not bc hes necessarily popular, hes just everywhere. beomgyu is somehow just someone everyone knows, and often you would find him annoying a rando teacher
you sort of grew up with him though
going to the same elementary, middle school, high school etc. he was always just the kid in the class over or the guy you slept next to during kindergarten nap time 💤
hes known for being a bit bratty and excitable, but tbh youve probably only had one or two conversations with him?? ^^;;
hes amusing, and when hes around you love watching his antics
the way youd fall would be at a party
not a crazy, wild, totally off the hook!!! party, but a small sort of gathering your class put together to commemorate the end of the semester
everyone was chatting and sipping something (hell if you knew), and he was playing his guitar like some sort of mystic indie boy about to change your life
you went up to him (mightve been smthng in that drink, wow) and ask how he even got the thing there, and he replied with something both cute and humorous enough to make you giggle
he was funny, not that you had expected him not to be, but you hadnt thought he would answer so quick and wittily when he hadnt interacted with you much either
his skills on the guitar werent a joke though. the way he played was like he was humming, making you hear invisible lyrics that werent there, it was just impossibly soft but loud. sickly poetic, right?
and you noticed that whenever he would mess up a chord, he would scrunch his nose up a bit—which you found cuter than you shouldve
plus over the whole school year he had grown his black hair out, letting it curl to frame his face and the back touch his neck
it was... brutal to say the least how good it looked on him. and brutal for you how you didnt realize how good he looked before ..
you would be knocked out of your observations (read: admirations) by him asking you for a song recommendation, and youd just have to give one from the top of your head
"oh! i love that song!"
he said it with such a big smile that it had you beaming with pride in your music tastes
was this really the boy youve seen around all your life?? you were that blind? 😵‍💫
the way hes strumming, smiling softly under the dimmed, tinted lights has you unconsciously blurring your surroundings, only focusing on him
afterwards, you would ask for his number with the lame excuse of "since we have such similar taste in music!!"
from then on whenever you found a song that you thought sounded like him, errr... reminded you of the songs he liked.. youd send it to him
and whenever youd run into him on school grounds, your only talking point would be "oh!! heres the cd you wanted to borrow haha"
its always a quick thanks! before hes gone, and you cant help but want to go to more parties in hopes hed be there again
youre not sure youll ever be able to get over him bc now whenever you listen to any song you think "oh.. would beomgyu like this??"
the thing is, he would also send you songs back 😓 which makes the whole thing even worse
"heyy!! this melody reminded me of you!! its pretty sweet lol :]]"
and you almost faint at the message, was there supposed to be a double meaning??
if it goes on for long enough i feel like beomgyu would make a whole playlist for you, and it just about sends your body into overdrive..
theres just something so special about a whole playlist dedicated to you, he listened to these songs specifically and thought of you!!
occasionally, or if you ask for them, beom sends you videos of him playing his guitar
sometimes its soft indie, sometimes its a riff on the electric guitar you cant quite decipher, but each time it makes you press the replay button
if youre lucky, his playing could be accompanied by gentle humming or murmured lyrics
..its genuinely so quiet you cant hear sometimes, but that doesnt matter much when each time he sends a video, youve already made sure to turn your volume up impossibly high 🔊
whenever youd see him on campus youd flash him a smile and usher him over to listen to what you had playing, but it always felt like he left too early ://
these conversations felt so brief. you were close but yet.. so far???
honestly though, all of these messages and texts late into the night are mostly about songs? you wish you knew about his other interests
with the way things were looking, there was no way he would realize your feelings, and you were running out of these songs quicker than you wouldve liked
you hovered over your text before quickly deleting it
"do you think you could teach me guitar? :)"
could this be something more? or were you just doomed to just looking at him with lovelorn eyes??
well, cant give you too much hope!!! this is supposed to be unrequited after all, ahh
⌗ kang taehyun!!
i struggled a bit too much on this one..
100% class president or representative
youve seen him around and hes maybe asked for you to hand in a sheet like once or twice, but otherwise you dont really know him
you would admire him heavily though, for both his grades and his looks. he seemed so far above all the rest at times, almost otherworldly with how compassionate and smart he was
it all starts when either you ask him to tutor you (nervously, fidgeting lol) or the teacher suggests it
he says yes (ofc, so nice), and the first session ends without any conversation outside of learning, and you cant help but feel stiff around him
its up until the third time you met after class that taehyun suggested you take a break, right after you struggled with his explanation
youre a bit embarrassed that he thought you needed a break, but.. what exactly does a break entail??
he asked you for your drink of choice and left to the vending machines, leaving you to sit there a bit confused until he returned shortly after with 2 cans
you thanked him and told him that you could pay him back, and he refused your insisting until you decided to cave in and open your beverage, seeping in slight awkwardness
but then he opened his own soda and it just EXPLODED like a fountain ⁉️ the carbonated juice was everywhere, and you had to back up a bit to not get it on your pants
he was panicking, quickly trying to cover the spray with his hand, then his jacket, his eyes impossibly wide n mouth open,, and you just about burst out in laughter
soon enough he would be laughing also, his hand still over the top, and the both of you making eye contact as the fizz stops entirely and the giggles die out
you felt a bit guilty, laughing at him.. 😓 but hes always so calm and collected, so seeing him with such an expression made him seem so endearing
you would apologize and hed just wave you off with a chuckle (which made that organ in your chest thump louder than it shouldve), but you have to wonder.. when was his soda even shaken up??
you had a sneaking suspicion he did it on purpose, but for what?? to make you laugh? you didnt wanna get too ahead of yourself, but you wouldnt put it past him
the type of person to sacrifice his own dignity to get someone to loosen up, that was the kang taehyun you observed ♥️
the next few sessions incorporated small breaks in between, which you noticed usually happened when you got stuck and overly frustrated.
by the end of these breaks though, youd always be laughing or smiling to yourself, mind cleared from any fog
he made you less stiff in various ways, doodling crude drawings, telling you embarrassing stories, all of the works!! it felt nice, and you felt almost special to be seeing him like this...
during the fifth session, he would talk to you about his magic tricks!!! you had expected to be doing origami or drinking pure sugar by the machines again, but he suddenly pulled out a whole deck o cards
the way he spoke about it and demonstrated them made your pulse quicken.. he just looked so passionate, so animated and eager
if you stared at him long enough hed offer to teach you some magic, and his eyes would positively light up if you agree
mess up a few times and he would go, "here, let me," and envelop his hands over yours, properly moving them in the correct manner
"can you try it on your own?"
you dont have the heart to say you cant, because as soon as he had touched your skin, your mind blanked entirely 😵‍💫
taehyun also isnt the type to be offset by eye contact either, so when you catch his gaze he holds it and even has the nerve to ask, "what? are you having trouble with something?"
and sometimes he gets too close when explaining stuff and it has you sweating buckets, confused on whether it was his long eyelashes or nose bridge that had you distracted
tbh im not sure you would even be able to confess properly before being rejected indirectly, bc such a person as kang taehyun has a lot of people pining after him
—and hes surely bound to notice one of them, right?
it would be a day free from tutoring when you decide to visit the library to return a couple of books
its almost immediate when you spot taehyuns hair, having gazed at it so many times. you didnt think much of it though, bc taehyun is top of your class, so of course hes in the library!!!
you would turn the corner to say a quick greeting, but stop in your tracks at the sight of him next to another girl—one you didnt recognize from his group of friends
it wasnt a tutoring or study session, no way, there were no textbooks in sight. plus, there were drinks by their side, her beverage and his usual soda, and theyre laughing, flirting—blushing.
a clearer look at her face tells you that you do in fact know her, and shes the vice president with high grades and a pretty face, the one thats practically his only equal.
the greeting you had prepared was swallowed down by your throat
hes so close to her now, and you want to cover your ears, but you hear it anyway—
"do you want to learn a magic trick ive been working on?"
and you dont think youve ever left a building faster than you left that library behind, urging down your tears in the process
⌗ huening kai!!
long bc i am in l-word with him and i want to h*ld his h*nd 🤢
the boy you stared at sometimes during your teachers ramblings. you swear its bc youre zoning out and hes just,, there
—but when he smiles your heart does a small pitter patter and it doesnt feel healthy.. ヾ(´・・`。)ノ his lips curves in such a way that makes your eyes widen slightly bc wow, fuck, are you an angel?
incidentally, youve also accidentally made eye contact with him during some of these moments, and always does he look away first
it feels like puppy love, and you almost tell yourself its a mutual crush, but youve never really spoken to him have you?
its a seating change that gets the both of you closer, bc who would actually approach first??
you didnt think much of it when your teacher made you all pull numbers for seats, but then he plopped his backback down on the chair next to you
and all so suddenly does your heart skip, hop scotch, and reverse all at once
you tell yourself to act casual, cool, level headed and introduce yourself
"hello, my name is [name] [l. name]. i hope we can get along."
you applaud yourself, mentally giving your back a dad-worthy clap in pride—but oh fuck, you said all of that without making eye contact
thankfully, huenings the type of boy to just laugh (albeit a bit awkwardly) and introduce himself back, and he does just that
first stage: cleared!! but.. whats the second stage?? youre not sure....
the boys a great seat mate though, not raucous or painfully oblivious to his surroundings like the other boys in your class
hes a bit clumsy, but its somehow a part of his charm ♥️
he also drops his pencil and desk supplies frequently, most of the time to simply twirling his pencil around or knocking things off with his arm nd elbow
once, you mustered enough courage to be the helpful deskmate! and pick it up for him, but his hand was faster than yours
—which, ended with your palm on top of his, and with an embarrassing squeak you had to pull it off hastily
he gave you a glance and a smile that sent your face into a hot blaze, uttering a small "thank you," even though you technically didnt even do anything except squeak (oh god)
if you ever lose your textbook or forget it for a day, he is always willing to share (that whole cutesy desks together thing, looking over at each other to see if theyre done reading) 📖
—actually, hes willing to just give up his whole textbook entirely
youve compared him to an angel before, because theyre both known for their innocuous demeanor and infinitely generous personalities, and its fairly true
your teacher was very strict with forgetfulness, constantly reminding your classmates that it isnt a trait that should be common among young adults such as yourself, so sharing textbooks was still frowned upon in your classroom
instead, students would be basically publicly humiliated before being sent out of the classroom to grab an extra textbook from the library 😓.. jerk
when you had rummaged through your bag and found nothing, you had already resigned yourself to being scolded like a 5 yr old like many others were before you
but all of a sudden, a coy hand slides that hardcover book you oh so dreaded seeing (but needed) over to your desk
you glanced at him like he just offered to sacrifice himself into a volcano for your sake, and he just simply smiled at you and sent you a cute wink like (^_-)☆
before you can even think of giving it back to him, your teachers voice cut off any coherent thoughts you couldve formed
"huening kai, correct? wheres your textbook, mr huening?"
"ah," he smiled sheepishly, standing up from his desk. "i forgot it today, sir."
the angry old man rant from your teacher lasted 5 mins minimum before huening was sent for his walk of shame to the library
and when he made it to halls, he caught your eye again, and sent you an impish grin that set your heart aflame
oh god, huening kai is a boy. thats not good, not good at all, because now hes not just an angel.. hes a boy with a strangely heart thumping mischievous streak to him
also if youre noticeably down, hes all more than willing to doodle in the corner of your notebook, accompanied by words of encouragement and later a juice box on your desk :')
return the doodles and it might develop into games of tic tac toe, and then childish hand games—but huening kai is cheater
how youre able to cheat in simple juvenile games like that, youre not entirely sure, but he managed to do it anyway and giggles innocently when you catch him
youd always let him off and the cheater goes and does it again, but it doesnt matter too much as youre too caught up in his laughter to care
being next to him also warrants much more opportunities to stare at his face, or more so just glance at it
hes got a sixth sense or smthng, always being able to catch your eye and make you smile awkwardly before turning back to your desk ^^;
but even with all these small moments, it doesnt feel real—maybe like youre still in a pipe dream, hoping for him to like you, when all of your friends tell you that he clearly does
so when you go to enter your classroom in the morning, hoping to maybe get an answer that day, you had to stop short
not because of anxiety or nervousness, no, because you could hear his voice casually deny any crush on you to your classmates
"[name]? oh no, the both of us are just friends. shes cool and all though, you should talk to her sometime too!"
his tone was kind, full of friendly cheerfulness that made you somehow sick. never once did you think hearing him with a smile would make you feel this way.
it couldnt have been a misunderstanding, because why would he say it so normally if it werent true, right?
you entered the classroom, saying your usual greeting to him (he smiled and said good morning), and you almost immediately had to leave to the clinic—because you couldnt take the normalcy
your teacher sent you off with a quick message to not stray and mess around in the hallways, and you stood up to leave
but before you can make it a foot away from your desk, huenings hand caught onto your wrist
"are you feeling ok?" he whispered, concern clearly laced in his eyes. your head ached more, and your shoulders felt heavier than ever
"im fine," you said back, pulling his hand off your skin. it burned. "ill be back soon."
you fully planned to ditch the class, spending the period rotting under the clinic bed sheets until you no longer felt nauseous
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how was the read?? did u enjoy it? i always listen to feedback, so if u have any writing advice or want to be friends, im always here :D
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s4ijoh · 4 years
Text
CLASSIC ROMANTIC CLICHES. seijoh four edition.
WARNINGS: cringe alert; suggestive themes; oikawa’s a living walking cliche taken straight out of a romantic novel.
CLICK HERE FOR PART TWO.
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OIKAWA;
kisses you during an argument to calm you down. during minor arguments, he thinks there is nothing a good ol’ kiss cant solve. although sometimes it only riles you up… sometimes it works. cue: “i hate you.” “you love me.”
you haven't seen each other in a while and when you finally meet time seems to stop and you're running into each other's arms in slow motion and he spins you around when you jump into his arms.
on a different scenario, you crash against each other and you fall on top of him before you two fall into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.
tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and proceeds to rest his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes before he leans in for a kiss.
tickle fights that turn into a full blown make out session. also sometimes, when you’re mad at him, he will tickle you to exhaustion just so he can get you to break and crack a smile for him.
coming from behind you and covering your eyes with his hands only to give you a kiss when you guess its him. (who else could it be…)
IWAIZUMI;
offers you his jacket whenever you’re cold — it smells really good. he doesn’t even do it in an attempt to be romantic he is genuinely just a gentleman.
you trip in the middle of the street and somehow he is right behind you and catches you on his (big; strong; dreamy) arms before you fall.
wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb. is very nonchalant about it but there is a small grin tugging at the corner of his lips when he notices your flushed cheeks.
zips your dress for you while looking at you through the mirror and suddenly the room is too hot and it would be better to just get rid of the dress.
puts a hand on your waist to walk past you and although its an innocent gesture, it leaves a burning imprint on your skin.
MATSUKAWA;
throwing rocks at your window in the middle of the night and sneaking into your room.
on the same note: hiding in the closet or under the bed whenever your parents come to your room to check on you.
holds you closer when you are watching an horror movie. classic power move: he suggested you two watched it in the first place because he finds it endearing how you hide your face in his neck and how you cling onto his arm when you’re scared.
walks in on you naked. except for the fact he is not looking away.
he holds your hand on rollercoasters. you squeezed his hand so hard it is numb by the end of the ride.
HANAMAKI;
thinks he is smooth when he accidentally (intentionally) brushes your hands together when you’re walking side by side.
wins a giant stuffed bear for you at the carnival fair. spent all his change because his aim is off and he was struggling to shoot the last pin down yet stood his ground and refused your help because he wanted to impress you. he might even have earned a kiss at the top of the ferris wheel for his effort — with the bear squeezed between the two of you.
stealing glances at you from across the room and winking once you catch him staring just to tease you and see the embarrassment rushing to your face.
yawning while pretending to stretch but draping an arm over you instead and pulling you closer to him.
+ BONUS:
whenever one of them is talking to their crush, the other boys excuse themselves just to leave their friend and his crush alone.
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[a/n]: so today me and my friends were talking about romantic cliches that make us cringe and i thought of writing this so yep. i dont know if anyone has done this before but if so, let me know. hopefully you didnt cringe too hard <33 ngl i get so embarrassed whenever one of these happen on screen itS UNCOMFORTABLE,,,
i know i wrote a little less for makki but im still trying to get a hold of his character :(( . i love them all equally trust me! (ye i know i wrote a lot more for oikawa bc im biased bUT I LOVE THEM ALL STILL!!!1!1!!!) if you have any character sheets on makki tag me, or any cool fic rec of him really!
[ tw: rant; this is like the first time im writing headcanons? because i always have this really weird feeling that i didnt do enough and start hating what i wrote as soon as i post it lmao. the end.]
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versadies · 2 years
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Just throwing my two cents about this and you dont have to respond if this will make you uncomfy bc...i honestly think you don't need to apologize for that? 🤔
While I know OP has a point, and its very valid, I was also a supporter of the fact that "you can ship whoever you want AS LONG as you don't force your opinion on others and don't invalidate their own ideals and opinion. If they say no, then no." The problem of ships only lies when people force others their own opinions. I mean, everyone had their own preferences, though its a matter of right and wrong WHETHER you are going to openly admit that or not. Personally, I am not a fan of canon ships, that's why I can say this. I am on neutral ground. I don't ship Chilumi, Zhongchi or whatever there is. But if others like it, people should have not invalidate it, I think 🤔 since people are entitled of their own opinion and their own works.
I haven't read your fanfic of Chilumi to be clear, but if it has a tag "Traveler x Childe" or any indication of sort before they read it, OP should scroll down, maybe pretend you don't see it if they're uncomfortable with it, and call it a day. You are entitled on your own works, and maybe people enjoyed that particular ship idk?
I believed fiction is ALWAYS different from reality. And you writing these..."ships" doesn't define you as a person irl AS LONG as you know how to differentiate them. It was like that of yandere themes or dark contents. As long as a writer says that they doesn't support it irl (in this case, minor(?)xadult but I personally think the traveler could drink bc Zhongli's voicelines indicate as much skshwi) I supposed thats fine with fiction. AGAIN, as long as you don't force it upon others.
i'm not trying to start a fight or anything 😭😭😭 im just kind of tired seeing people tried to explain how to "invalidate"ーerr thats not the right word, but you know, try to make others dislike it?ーother ships when it was the cause of other people's happines siehwueh. What you read is your responsibility, like how writers have the responsibility to cater their contents (ie making proper tags, tw/cw, gender and stuff) so IF you did all of that, I don't think its your fault that they're uncomfy bc...its like...if you read the tag then why still read it if u know its gonna make you feel uncomfy?
People can argue with me over this fact, but I have my own opinion on this too. And like I said above, as long as you don't force others your opinion and respect their boundaries, that is fine :33
Hehe. ty for coming to my ted talk and its become so long too im sorry if it'll clout you 😭😭😭😭😭 and really, u don't have to respond to this at all :3 love ur writing btw hehehe.
my jaw dropped at how long this message was 😦😦😦
altho u also have a valid point, i just wanted to apologize to my dear mutual pollux because i didn’t want them to feel uncomfy about my post + i didn’t put any tag to it (the ship is already seen from the anon message so i didn’t think about putting any tag about it - which is a bad decision).
i would’ve put a warning/tag + keep reading option instead — but after a few mins thinking about it, i decided to delete it just to be safe and to prevent any fights happening in my blog.
pollux kindly informed me about why they alongside a few people are uncomfy and/or against the ship and asked if i could deleted it (which i did already and i apologize to the anon who asked about the ship 😰😰) so i don’t really think their intention was to change my opinion on the ship.
your explanation has also made me relieved bcuz i honestly felt scared that people might go after me (i have a fear for getting cancelled over something and getting hated) over something like this and because i agree about your words regarding ships :DDD
p.s. to those reading this: pls dont attack anon above alongside pollux regarding this matter and respect them + opinions just as how you respect my opinions as well <<3
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spectracully · 3 years
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crash the crush.
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pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k
summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?
You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.
With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.
Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.
yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd
You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.
y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle
You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.
The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.
yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle
You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 
yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀
You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.
y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car
You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 
You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.
After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.
It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?
yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight
You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-
Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 
"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.
Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.
y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead
You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.
"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 
Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.
You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.
"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.
He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.
You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.
y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK
Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.
yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME
y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK
yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK
y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW
y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun
yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!
You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.
You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?
Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.
"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.
Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.
You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,
He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”
Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 
You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”
“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!
You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”
He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”
Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.
“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-
But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.
He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”
You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.
He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.
Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.
“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”
“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.
“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”
“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,
“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.
You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.
-------
It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.
The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.
You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).
Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.
“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.
You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.
Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.
Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.
“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.
Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.
But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?
You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.
“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.
“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”
Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.
Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.
After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.
Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.
Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.
-----
It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.
You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).
You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.
“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.
Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?
You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”
“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.
3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!
He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”
-
The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.
Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.
You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.
Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?
As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.
You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.
“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.
Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.
“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.
Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.
You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.
“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.
You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?
“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”
You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.
“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.
Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.
“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.
“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.
You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.
You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.
Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.
“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.
You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.
Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)
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sugarvamgar · 3 years
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you ever make some  Bastards? anfisa and valentine!  also the context of the little labels on valentine’s sheet is to like, number the parts of the story for me and my friend who’s working on this so we know when the hell in the story we’re talking abtsgddfg anyways more info abt them under the cut .. i love these bastards...
these two are in the same world as some of my other ocs - you can find them in my neontok tag under rum’s post for more information about the world nd stuff! if you do not want to look at it tldr its just me putting my more uh. “darker” concepts?? like these two! let’s continue into more info tho: so like, context! in this world, there’s this group of seven assassins who’s existence is.. very speculated. like, they’re a common myth. maybe not among all of society all around the world, but most people have heard folk stories of their existence at some point in their life. this group of assassins has existed for literal hundreds of years, and nobody knows how or why, so they just.. assume it’s a story. a myth. but it’s Not. the “seven” is actually countless people who have been trained throughout their family’s bloodlines as a tradition with every other generation’s first child - or in the case of assassins One and Two, the first two siblings. they’re all basically trained to do the exact same stuff as the original seven did, too. other than One and Two, the children don’t necessarily know each other, especially because usually they’re in completely different countries. anyways so, anfisa here used to be part of this. he was assassin Three, born and raised in russia, pretty much the only assassin of the seven to not be trained to be sneaky and quiet bc most of what he does is loud on purpose. he does know how to blend in among people normally and how to scramble away from people without getting hurt, but man. he is NOT graceful like the other six. he ends up defecting from the assassins (which is just him going. huh. fuck this <3) and leaving to not-america and goes. i will live a normal life now.          he ends up going. oh wait actually i hate how society is and how much of this city is controlled via bribes and crimes - what if i just. actively tried to cement myself in that world. what if i did crimes? i already did them before. he ends up gaining a mild following of people for this and they help him to do this.. the dude who runs the Local Crime Syndicate™ (at least, the largest one), jack, gets. very pissed off about this once anfisa’s group grows large enough scale. he employs this highly revered journalist bc in jack’s mind this goes. “oh, this guy is SO very good at picking people apart and getting into their business, and my stupid police force isn’t doing their fucking job right (lol), i’ll hire this dude. if he dies its barely any loss on my part. the journalist is valentine <3 idk his first name but he’s valentine and he is SO full of anxiety and has so much in common with anfisa about Hating Authority nd shit. this is a mistake on jack’s part who is blind as hell and cannot read valentine’s old articles + thinks he can bribe him with money to do whatever. valentine goes. <:( okay i will try i hate this but also money and also you are pointing guns at me and threatening to kill me if i Dont take the money and do this. valentine ends up joining anfisa and goes from anxious timid british (lol) bastard to mildly terrifying and willing to organize and command a group of people with anfisa who are actively trying to like, overthrow a straight up  crime syndicate organization thing that Also has quite a large hold on a lot of businesses and government related stuff in the city. and SUCCEEDS for the most part. he is very good at this and it scares the group so much esp with the fact that it grows from like 6 or 7 people to like, over 50 or more in like.. a year. shoutout to anfisa he intentionally picks on valentine bc he thinks this guy is cute. when valentine is lowkey stalking getting research on anfisa/the group, anfisa notices and goes. :) im going to make your life so very difficult but in an only slightly annoying way. you got knocked out one day so i stole your tie and then the next time you saw me on the news you saw me wearing it around my arm like a trophy. valentine is so very annoyed and takes all of anfisa’s mild friendly torment as This Little Man Hates Me So Fucking Much. Why Does He Want Me DEAD also shoutout x2 to anfisa for being great at working with machines and learning how to put foot pedals on his motorcycle so he can switch the seat around to like, a pedal control board and ride it like a skateboard. this is dangerous and very, very impractical. he does not care. he’s having fun ps. if you think valentine is similar to a certain someone you’re right. its on purpose. i “steal” canon characters all the time (see: idk, not often actually) with friends bc its very fun to see how you can reinterpret a character without it being basically an au of the original character. TLDr if you can make a connection with the other character; good! just know he’s still his own thing and its on purpose and i love him. ps. x2/bonus i named anfisa after cat no banana <3 also anfisa (анфиса) means flowering/blossoming. i have made anfisa allergic to bananas and have given him plant themed clothingLKJGFDLKJG
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ps. x3 im planning on drawing the rest of this team and talking about them but i want to post them all at once. i honestly wanted to do that here but i havent posted in 9 days so i. went ahead and just posted these two and gave their info since its more than, yknow, nothing? ps. x4 (help i have so many notes) literally i never put any of my stories on earth but then dont make any effort to make the contries non-earth countries bc like. *gestures vaguely* man idk how to do that and dont have the energy to make new cultures nd stuff on my free time??? im not doing this for a professional story??? so like. yeah. anyways so anfisa is Not from russia. he’s russian. valentine is british. britain doesn’t exist. make of that what you will. anyways. that is all. thank you. i kiss you for reading this. if you have questions please ask me them i have so much information all the time and it shows me theres interest in this
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valatheapprentice · 3 years
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Random main 6 head cannons because I can?
(My first set of these. Shoukd I do more? Open for suggestions)
Asra
You know people who have no chill? He's the opposite. He stole their chill. Just don't get sick or arrested and he'd be aight.
Until you get sick. Ptsd of the plague will make him so on edge. You both will need to talk about it since you don't remember it and don't want there to be tension
We all knew this, but snake sweaters and little hats
He has a specific tea for gossiping. Nothing magically relevant, just he likes the feeling he gets. Maybe hibiscus and skullcap? Idk ill look at my herbs and think on it
He likes to put temporary/semi permanent color in his hair. Just a couple face framing strands. Maybe on holidays or birthdays or big events
Eats healthy, but his weakness is soda. Loves the carbonation
Julian
Normally will not say no to you if you want something. If he does, you might change his mind through looking at him in a certain way. Or a blowjob
Unpopular opinion: the man is a switch! He has an extremely stressful job. He has days he has to keep it all together and have control of everything and other people. Then he may wanna bottom. There will be days nothing seems to work out and he feels out of control. He may wanna top then.
Has a vague belief system. Since "dating" asra, he realized that magick was real and I have no doubt he tagged along in at least one holiday ritual. He may not be any more than letting whoever is out there, look over MC. He may want to learn more if you are heavily into it
Bitters and butter pecan ice cream for breakfast? You're darn tootin
Malak will steal your food. Jules may not care until you're in a screaming match with a bird. He may find it so freaking cute though.
He pops so much melatonin pills to sleep, please make the man something lavender to drink. He would also have a weighted blanket. Cuddles help wonderfully, but humans are not blankets. Whether he has a heated stuffed animal is up to your imagination. Long story short, its a cute ass sight
Nadia
I think she doesn't have a faith system. She celebrates whatever vesuvias main holidays are for public appearances. But I truly think she may be atheist. The way she felt about family growing up, her husband being the way he was, and whatever else we don't know about? Idk. He heart can change towards people but I dont think she has any faith.
Make the woman lavender and honey cupcakes for her birthday
On her period, she will eat a certain strawberry ice cream and watch Mulan on repeat while in fuzzy pj's.
Modern au nadia. I think her favorite music comes from the Civil wars. No idea why I thought that but im sticking with it
If single, I think she'd use tinder on particularly lonely nights. Not often, but once in a while
Wanna see her blush, surprise her. Especially in public. Confess your love in a restaurant. Whisper what you want her to do to you in a meeting. Send a nude when she's out. Show up at dinner with a gift or 9. Surprises are her weakness
Muriel
I don't think he would ever think of marriage unless you brought it up. Like if your waiting for him to propose on his own? Hope yall live forever bc he is just content just having you with him. Even if you have kids, he'd be so happy. If you want to get married, honestly, I think he'd be proposed to instead.
Put pants on the chickens and wait. When they run he will die of laughter
He clenches his teeth. Ptsd and stress still gets to him. He gets random jaw pains on particularly bad nights. He tries to bite the inside on his cheeks but he really needs some guided meditation
If you get him into condiments, he will use so much, its ungodly. I think he'd like mustard the most
It gets boring in the woods. And he rarely says no to you. Please try out different funky hairstyles on him. Itll be a huge laugh and we love a laughing muriel in this household
Everyday, he leaves you a note when he wakes up before you. Mostly saying he's out doing chores and he loves you. Sometimes it will be so much more emotional. He will blush of he finds out you saved all of them
Portia
Wears workout pants and stained oversized t shirts to bed. And honestly, same
Messy artist. She does her job and everything else in the house so cleanly, but he will get paint in her hair or a rhinestone behind her elbow when it comes to crafts.
Thrift shop queen.
She has an eclectic arrangement of home decor in the cottage. Theres no theme but cute things
She loves setting up scavenger hunts for you and jules. You each take turn being the organizer. Whoever of the two (or three if hes with someone) hunting finishes last, pays for dinner.
You'd think she'd be god tier gift wrapper, but no. You see. She likes getting drunk with jules and having a contest on whos the best gift wrapper drunk. Their both horrible but we don't say anything or risk the spoon
Lucio
Acts like a princess, but has a super high chill to horror or action stuff. During a jump scare, he will gasp, cuss, and laugh at himself
While redeeming himself, he will battle his demons until the day he does for real. Anger and a thirst for power will always be a think with him so I see him taking up martial arts to release some of it
Hes dumb in the way he doesn't think through everything. He is wicked smart in the way that he can assess a room or person almost immediately. Being a mercenary really helped with deduction and quick assessing for survival
Which is why I dont think there would be as many fights as one might think. He does dumb shit. But immediately sees in you where he fucked up and tries to fix it.
He will 10000% help you dress up camio, Mercedes, and melchior. They will hate you both until its time to be fed
Favorite food is fair food. Get him the meaty cheese fries and watch him melt faster than the cheese did
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ivyuns · 4 years
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gone ❆✰
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hwang hyunjin
genre: angst | fluff
warnings: suggestive, language, etc <3
word count: 1.2k
A/N: this was requested,  i’m sorry if this ever came out late ! ! its vv short bc i was rushing to get this done (repost bc it wasnt showing up in tags)
“Hello lovely! Can i request a one shot where hyunjin and older fem reader start seeing each other (intimacy) and later they start catching real feelings and decide to part ways cause its forbidden but then reader finds out she’s expecting?”
masterlist
nonidol!hyunjin x olderfem!reader
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waking up from the sun rays, you turn to your left to see someone in bed with you— naked.
“hyunjin !?”
with someone yelling out hyunjins name, he stirred awake. “hm?” hyunjin rubs his eyes for a clear view. he sees a woman with the white fluffy blankets covering her with her long hair everywhere and hickies on her neck.
“y-y/n noona? what happened?” hyunjin starts to remember all the past events from last night.
he remembers going to a bar after having a fight with his best friend. going to the bartender and asking for a drink, he waits for the drink to be finish. turning to his left, he sees you; laying your head down on the counter with the straps of your dress almost falling down due to the amount of weight you lost, making the dress too big for you but that was the only partying dress you had since you didnt like parties.
seeing the tears on your face dry up, hyunjin goes next to you and talks to you. “whats wrong lovely?” wiping the tears from your eyes and sitting back up. “my boyfriend broke up with me and now i feel like shit” you slurred, still drunk from the amount of drinks you had.
hyunjin’s drinks come by and orders you more drinks. as you two talked, feeling a bond connecting, you both feel like it was time to go. “wanna go to my place?” hyunjin asked while drunk. nodding your head while hyunjin pulls out the money for the bartender and both of you leave together with you clinging to hyunjin.
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right as you walked through hyunjin’s door, you were pushed back to the wall with hyunjin caging you in between his arms. hyunjin’s lips went to your neck, harshly biting your skin. next thing you know, youre under hyunjin and youre not getting over him.
-
memories flood back into your mind finally. sitting up and just starring at the blankets, hyunjin goes in front of you. “everything okay noona?” facing reality, you closed your eyes and sighed. “hyunjin, did you ever pull out?” you said, opening your eyes, you see hyunjin shaking his head a no.
you gasp in disbelief and hitting you head against the palms of your hands. “hey y/n- noona its okay. lets just do friends with benefits” hyunjin grabs your wrists to stop harming yourself. you look up and smacked hyunjin across the face lightly. “im older than you by a few weeks, dont call me noona” you said and dressed yourself and left his house.
hyunjin is brought back to reality and notices youre gone. running out of bed, he sees your shoes gone but a piece of paper.
‘325-320-0325 call me whenever ;)’
hyunjin smiles and saves your number.
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ever since that day, you and hyunjin had been fucking. everyday, every night. til you felt weird. you woke up feeling sick as you got up from your bed. taking hyunjins arm off of you, you ran to the bathroom and threw out everything that made you feel like this.
hyunjin wakes up from his slumber and hears you vomiting. running to your side, he holds your hair up and soothes you for comfort.
“noon- y/n what happened? are you okay?”
“h-hyunjin, i think im pregnant.” you said silently. hyunjin’s face is full of shock. he stands back away as you slowly get back up onto your feet. “a-are you sure that youre just not sick?” he asks.
shaking your head, you look up with tears in your eyes. hyunjin leaves the room and grabs his belongings. hearing the door slam shut, you fell onto your knees and sobbed on the floor.
-
its been 4 months since hyunjin left you and your belly was now growing. you were looking through photos of you and hyunjin and memorized the feelings you two had on your phone as you were waiting for your name to be called for your second ultrasound. looking down at your belly, you put your hand over it and smiled.
“miss l/n?”
swifting your head to wherever your name was called out, you smiled and stood up to the nurse from your first ultrasound scan. “is it just you again?” she asks. you nod your head and follows your nurse to what room you need to be in.
laying on the bed, she puts on the gel and rubs the machine on your swollen belly. looking at the screen in front of you, you see your precious angel. how much you wish hyunjin was here to see this.
your second ultra sound was another success. you looked at your phone for any messages from hyunjin but there was none.
meanwhile, hyunjin was hesitant on calling you. he wanted to know if you were okay. if you were having fun. if you were healthy. if his kid was healthy. sitting on his bedroom floor, he glances at the pictures he printed out of you two on his walls.
hyunjin screams at himself for being stupid and leaving you alone to bare with the pain.
another 4 months has passed and he still hasnt texted you. you were on the verge on calling him- if he was okay til you felt pain and liquid come out of your coochie. calling your hospital instead of hyunjin, you made your neighbor (who is ur best friend n yall really close) drive you to the hospital.
arriving at the emergency, the nurses put you on a bed due to the amount of pain youre having. you let go of your friends hand and blacked out.
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you wake up and see hyunjin holding your hand while tears are streaming down his face. “h-hyunjin?” you call his name weakly. hyunjin looks up and cups your face. “y/n, im so sorry” he whispers and plants a kiss on your forehead. “jinnie, what happened? where our baby” oh how much did he miss hearing you call out his nickname.
“shes right here love”
hyunjin leaves his seat and goes by the bed cart next to you to give you his baby. “its a baby girl?” you asked him with tears spilling out. “yes y/n. she was born a month early but shes still healthy. god y/n, you scared me so much, i thought i was going to lose you”
“i couldnt stop thinking about you. it was stupid for me to walk out on you. it was stupid to leave you all alone, feeling the pain. it was stupid for me to not be there for you when you needed somebody. when the doctors called me, i was so scared that you werent going to wake up. they told me how you passed out when you got here and that they had to do surgery on you because you wouldnt wake up.”
even if hyunjin wasnt done with his story, you couldnt control your tears anymore. hyunjin goes to your side and wipes your tears away. he goes to your lips and attempts to kiss your lips until you heard your baby girl giggle, making you and hyunjin burst out of laughter.
“y/n, please take me back. not as friends with benefits, but as couples. i want to live forever with you and our baby and possibly more children. i want to be there for you and our baby.”
“of course hyunjin” both you and hyunjin smile and leans in for another kiss. hyunjin then kisses your baby. “i do hate how she has most of your features even if i raised her myself” you pouted. “i guess you can say that i have the best sperm” hyunjin winks. playfully slapping hyunjins arm.
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END <3
its not the best
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