imo, this journey is not so much about becoming something or someone different…

it is more so about releasing what you are not and realizing your true nature.

The power of presence 🧘🏻‍♀️

@gardenofnea | gardenofnea.com

the magic begins, when...

you start to say 'no'

you start to put yourself first

you start to treat & see yourself as the queen you are

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫: the physical world is a training- + playground and preparing you for your desires you already have experienced in your imagination.

It is showing you who you claim yourself to be and the stories you have told yourself. It‘s not here to f*ck with you but to be a teacher and to give you feedback.  

How to navigate and shift? Remind yourself that the 3D isn‘t dangerous and that you‘re not at the mercy of your circumstances. Breathe deeply, come back into your body (feel your legs, feet, hands, arms, torso, back and head as one field of energy) and observe the feelings + thoughts popping up. They have no power, you don‘t have to affirm them away, just allow them to be there. After the storm, coming back to stillness (who you truly are) and feel free to choose your preference. 

I‘m writing this also as a reminder to myself. This journey is not about perfection and practicing this & using your power should be fun and not feel like a chore. You‘re stronger and more powerful than you think 🖤

feel it to heal it, loves 🍵

urge surfing

“what’s the next step? what should i do” my ego asks.

my heart replies “sit with the pressure, sit with the pressure, sit with the pressure. breathe spaciousness into the chaos, become a loving space, become the calm amidst the storm. give your mind a gentle massage, let it soften, let it melt. the heaviness will lessen, the urges too. the wounds will heal, the noise will be quieter, so that i can work through you.”

☁️ http://instagram.com/gardenofnea ☁️

measuring our worth on numbers, productivity and physical appearance is a wonderful game that some of us are playing, isn't it? 😛

your desires, hopes and dreams are already alive within you. action flows from your state/energy/being. i'm writing this bc i'm fed up with trying, seeking, and forcing. let's practice together and see what will happen 🌊

나는 우울증과 불안감이 있을 수도 있지만 돈도 많고 성공도 많다 I might have depression and anxiety but I also have lots of money and success - mantra of the day

what if just like emotions and feelings want to be felt, fears just want to be faced?

I think the most ppl on this journey reach this stage of "advanced spirituality/manifestation" after discovering and playing with the teachings for a while. Sure, it's cool to create things and I encourage you to continue to do so, but it's so much more fulfilling to get to know yourself on a deep level, to cultivate and develop a healthy relationship with yourself, both your human and your spirit/soul/higher self/god/consciousness/universe (you name it). After all, in both journeys, my recovery from an eating disorder and my spiritual one, I was led to coming home to myself. Which to me means, being at peace with my body, embracing my humanness (incl. being weird, silly and cringey af sometimes) and trust my path - knowing that my soul already came into this lifetime with a plan, a blueprint where I don't have to control, push or force anything but rather allow, being open and naturally moved (to be, do and create).

I think, I want to record an episode for my podcast on this topic. If you have any questions or something related to this to touch on, feel free to send me a message or comment below.

Meditation is a wonderful tool to get still and present. We often hear in spiritual texts that the answers you seek are in the silence. This is so true, the silence isn’t an empty space, it is full of potential. It even makes sense from a logical perspective - answers and solutions have difficulties to arise when a lot of noise and disturbance, e.g. through overthinking or rumination are present.⠀

I have channeled this beautiful meditation for you because I know how painful it is to exhaust oneself from seeking and to solely rely on the logical mind. The more I did that, the more disconnected, self-doubt and mistrust I felt. Isn’t it funny to try using the very thing that created problems in the first place to solve them - the mind? This meditation will help you to stop living in your head, to come back into your body and to tap into your wisdom. You are an infinite being having a human experience and because you’re connected to everything and everyone, you are also connected to infinite intelligence. I also included a meditation guide to help you crafting your own meditation practice as well as integrating your experience into your life 🌿

☁️ This little meditation package (20€) comes with: ⠀

・"Access Your Inner Wisdom" Meditation (with music) ⠀

・"Access Your Inner Wisdom" Meditation (audio-only version) ⠀

・ Meditation Guide (incl. Terms of Use & Disclaimer, journal prompts, tips for further integration and how to create your own meditation practice)⠀

☁️ click here ☁️

wow i just looked through pictures from february when i relapsed into anorexia and holy shit body dysmorphia is real + i'm shocked how i've looked and proud of how far i've come!

{read on IG @gardenofnea} // 6-7 months ago I started recovery from a ED relapse occured in #southkorea #한국 (nope, it wasn‘t triggered by any beauty standards or external pressure). Nope, I didn‘t post any before pictures or posted my food etc. I didn‘t do any of that bc for me, it would have been validating my eating disorder and „maintaining“ stereo typical thinking but ED‘s go deeper than the surface of physical appearance and controlling one‘s intake, it‘s often about control, stability and security (or better said creating the illusion of it by turning to disordered/harmful behaviors). I relapsed after years of being mostly symptom-free (I truly reached a point of food freedom and I haven‘t weighted myself in years + threw out the scale many years ago), not because I hated how I looked or wanting to lose weight but because I was on my own in a completely different country with no plan except for knowing a direction & unconsciously (at first) started to turn back to old behaviors to feel a sense of security and control. My life there was very spontaneously & I wanted to go there not only bc I like Korean culture but also to challenge myself - trust, faith and surrender are still my biggest ones, so I wanted to see how much I trust myself by moving to another country completely on my own only with a bunch of my savings.

Long story short: I had to come back after ~4 months for health reasons and this photo is a recent one; no, I don‘t show off my body or how much + I what I eat, I show that I‘m alive, that I went through hell and back + that I feel like a newborn starting my life fresh leaving the past and old false stories behind and forgive A LOT. I’m currently in the biggest transistioning period of my life. My ED was my door opener to spirituality and myself. Without it I would‘ve never gone beyond the surface and discover who I truly am - a spiritual being having a temporary human experience.

Since I want to live shame-free, here‘s a confession: I haven‘t had a „real“ job since April and focused mainly on my recovery, (mental) health and wellbeing & I don‘t need to explain myself nor am I willing to do so. It‘s okay and everything will work out (I can always access my desires through my sixth sense, my imagination) & all fears, pain and discomfort are here to be felt, so they can be processed and leave our systems. Life after ED is possible and you‘re not bound to one identity, especially not a false one - your true self is formless and you can play any character you want to be (I‘m practicing and reminding myself of that too 😛)

༝༚༝༚

Tired of seeking & searching? Check out my „Access Your Inner Wisdom“ meditation incl. meditation guide 🧚🏼

honey bees and babies, here is a fresh baked podcast episode where I'm talking all about perspective and how you always have the choice about how you perceive things. this isn't just for those of you who are into spirituality and manifestation. this is for everyone and I invite you to wear your favorite glasses through which you choose to look at life 😛 thank you for being here + feel free to share it if you like as well as leaving a 5 star review on spotify & apple podcasts

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡