actually, to have the audacity to live, to take up space, is the scariest and most rewarding gift you can give yourself.

Literally, people who joke with me about how psychotic and crazy I am are a million times better allies than some asshole who wants to debate the validity of psychotic disorders with me, an individual who has one. And people who are so scared to think about someone they know having a psychotic disorder, not because they're worried for them but because they can't see us as just people. They will dance around the issue with "oh youre just weird thats okay!" "Im sure everyone can see things if theyre really stressed" "maybe youre just depressed?" Underhanded 'compliments' about how normal they're Sure you are and how theres no way youre like "that weird guy i saw rambling to himself a few months ago in the park" or "my friend nancy who thinks she's an alien." Because they can't dare to see you as a person if you're Like Them.

You can say PSYCHOTIC. You can say SCHIZO. They're not dirty words. I love my schizotypy. It's a part of me, and it is dare I say quite a part of the reason I have the talent and drive that I do in certain fields of study and arts. Maybe other people on the schizo spectrum don't like it, and that's their choice and feelings, their experience. But one thing's for sure, accepting and destigmatizing schizo spectrum disorders is important in the madpunk movement. I don't need double-edged "praise" of how I'm "not like them." And what if I am? What if I'm stark-raving mad, speaking in tongues and trying to fight demons and falling in love with things that don't exist to anybody else? What if green-yellow butterflies fly around my field of vision while I look at you, while we talk? What if I hear the voices of people I really don't like while you and I have a pizza at my place? What if the world tilts and shifts, and suddenly I'm not sure where I am and everything feels possible and god is talking to me and the shadow government is watching me? What then? Am I no longer a person? Is my reality less important than yours? Do I deserve to be unpersoned for seeing the world differently, whether that be due to a mental disorder or simply because I don't agree with the status quo?

We all deserve to be treated equally and fairly. Some differences we are born with, others we attain later in life unrelated to genetics or anything like that, some are simply quirks. No one should be forced to identify under labels they don't agree with, and conversely, no one should be denied the validity of their own experience of themselves and their life. And all differences, psychotic ones especially, because that's what this post is about, are beautiful in their own way and worthy of acceptance and respect.

Today I am reminding myself that one of the biggest ways I live in defiance of my abusive parent is to love myself annoyingly and relentlessly.

The hateful words that run in my mind are his, not mine. The lifelong act of relentless self hatred and metaphorical self flagellation by denying all joy and happiness is his thing, not mine.

I’m not perfect but I’m sure as fuck lovable and worthy of that love. Worthy of love from others and myself.

Maybe you needed to hear this today too?

Fat people deserve better.

We are not repulsive. We are not vile. We are not appalling.

We are people.

If my existence "promotes obesity"? Good!

You want to know why?

I am not promoting the idea that someone should become obese. I am not going to attempt to police someone else's body and lifestyle like sizeist people do.

I am promoting the idea that people of all sizes are deserving of the bare minimum of basic human respect.

This should not be a radical idea. This should not be something we have to fight about.

99% of the time? Being fat is not a choice. And you know what? Even if it was - even if I was shoving big macs into my greasy fucking maw every 2 hours?

I would still be deserving of basic decency.

I would still be deserving of proper medical care that takes into account things other than my size and diet.

I would still be deserving of comfort, of clothing that fits.

You want to know the worst part of all of this?

Fat kids deserve better, and all too often, they don't get it.

Fat kids deserve to be able to be active without being mocked for the way their body moves.

Fat kids deserve to be seen as children rather than medical problems that need solving.

Fat kids deserve clothing that fits them and makes them feel good about themselves.

Fat kids deserve to eat, and to eat good food.

Fat kids deserve to eat cake at birthday parties like everyone else.

Fat kids deserve to go trick-or-treating like all the other kids.

Fat kids deserve love. Fat kids deserve respect.

Fat kids deserve a proper childhood without having to pay a toll of trying to change their bodies.

Fat kids deserve acceptance for their bodies as they are and as they will be - not pleasantries about how they'll grow up to be skinny, so they don't need to learn to love themselves before then.

Fat people deserve better.

Self Care for the Angelic Soul 🕊

🕊 Practice quiet meditation in the early morning when you wake, feel the stillness of the air around you

🕊 Adorn yourself with soft, shimmery fabrics that catch the light, making you glow

🕊 Your space is a reflection of your soul, make sure you keep a tidy room

🕊 Keep a dream journal to record your subconscious thoughts, decipher them and see what your mind is telling you

🕊 Make time for a cup of tea in a special mug, it’s good for your soul and your body

🕊 Do not allow anyone to take advantage of your divine nature, practice setting boundaries and focusing on your own wants and needs

A Gentle Reminder

Don't beat yourself over "not doing your best enough". When we talk about doing "your best" or "our best", it usually means, "the best the person is capable of given their circumstances". It surely does not mean THE BEST, and everyone's 'best' isn't always same. Heck! Even your best may differ from time to time, because circumstances change. That's why be kind to yourself, the way you'd be towards another person trying their best.

i love human perception i love the imperfect body i love the worship of the flesh i love the belief that there is no divine image apart from that which you make for yourself i love the sadness that makes the joy worth anything i love people who abandon the idea of works making worth i love the broken relationships that were made better i love the people who find happiness after their relationships couldn’t be fixed i love finding meaning not in spite of imperfection and strife but because of it

join nashira in this workshop centering radical self love! you are invited to join no matter what state of self-esteem you are. even if you don't think you want to write about yourself, you never know what other things you might write about!

💘 sign up here 💘

you can always start again. clean up your socials, make new playlists, donate clothes you no longer wear. try out a new recipe, move to a new city and make new friends, pick up new hobbies you never thought of before. there is no limit to how many times you can press the reset button. it's okay to change and start over. you don't need anyone's permission to do it.

Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own

Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap

That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.

The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.

And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.

That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.

If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.

There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.

Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.

I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.

But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.

It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.

But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.

So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.

I have no idea if this helps but if you struggle with self worth or don’t see yourself as having inherent value just for being you exactly as you are without doing anything for anybody or being “productive” please know you have been conditioned to believe that because people who can’t see their value can never understand when they’re being taken advantage of because you can’t believe you’re being used if you don’t believe in your usefulness.

White supremacy, the patriarchy, and capitalism ALL benefit greatly from us being desperate to prove our worthiness and value and they demonize loving yourself and knowing your worth by calling you egotistical, selfish and entitled.

Look at how much they’re panicking at declining birth rates yet continue to divest in education. They don’t want the current population wise, educated, and loving themselves. They want fresh bodies full of self loathing and desperation they can use and abuse for their own selfish gains.

Learning to love yourself, allow yourself rest, and recognize your inherent worth are some of the most radical acts of activism you can do because you’re removing yourself completely from the systems of oppression we seek to overthrow.

And sometimes learning to love yourself starts by doing it out of spite to the systems ruining our lives and the lives of generations of ancestors before us. Do your ancestors proud, fuck this system and become their worst nightmare by embracing your inherent value and worthiness for love and good things literally just for existing on this planet.