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fordo-wifey · 2 months

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Book 1: Into The Unknown, Chapter 1: Men Like Us

Into The Unknown is a part of a two-part series, called Trouble in the Pine. The series is on AO3. Link above. ^

Rating: Explicit, 18 +, Minors Don't Interact

Summary: Elon, a green planet untouched by the war, and the former Republic—now Empire. A place for a man to start over, if that was possible for someone who didn’t have a say in regard to his birth. Will Crosshair, a man of regrets be able to move forward and start a new?

Tags: Western, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Starting Over, Friendship, Canon-Typical Violence, Animal Death, Bandits & Outlaws, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Angst and Feels, Action & Romance, Friends to Lovers

First chapter is below cut.

“Jaa, do you see this?” A man says over the comms, as Jaa steps out of the cantina just outside of the dirt road that cuts through the small town surrounded by tall trees.

His dark eyes narrow as the bright light flickers in the setting sun. “Yeah.” He replies, jumping onto his speeder and taking off without a real word to say.

The roar of the speeder's engine echoes throughout the forest as a ball of fire races across the sky, earning a frown from Jaa who wore a silver star on his chest. His grip tightens as he turns to the right moving through the woods that are filled with giant trees. The hum of the bike fills his ears until a sudden boom overtakes the sound, and the ball of smoke fills the air—forcing the man on the speeder to press the bike to go faster until he arrives at the crash site. A semi-large ship had crashed on the hill of the mountain and in one quick motion, Jaa jumped off of the bike, sliding down the crater that was made by the impact.

Scanning the ship with his eyes, he coughs at the amount of smoke coming off the ship's back end with pockets of fire dancing in the wind. Climbing up the hill as he made his way to the front of the ship that was half buried in the hill, which allowed him to climb and walk on the nose of the ship. Finding that the window was cracked, he took a second to think of his next move, ultimately deciding to break through the glass. Stomping on it until he was able to make a boot-size hole before pulling back the glass, creating a large enough hole for not only himself but for anyone else he might find inside. Coughing some more as the wind changed, causing the smoke of the ship to be pushed towards him.

Laying on his chest, Jaa sticks his head into what was once a cockpit, his eyes squint as he tries to see through the dark space that had a red light flicking on and off. His eyes stop at an odd figure that he can’t quite see, as he pushes himself off the ground and waves a hand in front of his face. As the smoke continues to blow in his direction, he slides down to get some air before deciding what to do. His hands were on his hips, as he headed for his bike when he heard the roar of more speeders, and for a moment his attention shifted from the ship to those approaching him. A hand on his blaster pistol that he wore on his hip, as his eyes squint to make them out.

Making out the details of the two persons that were approaching, his hand moved from the handle of his weapon and into a wave. The first to arrive was the doctor of the small town, Gavals Finnall was his name and one of the few older members of the community. He was followed closely by Brinna Horne, the only daughter of Jaa Horne. The two came to a rolling stop, as they hurried off their speeders, Gavals held the rope as well as a headlamp for Jaa to use. Brinna sets up the cot attached to her speeder, turning on the heels of her boots as her father stands with his hands on his hips.

“I saw at least one body in the cockpit, I might need to get in and look for anyone else,” Jaa says as he grabs the headlamp from Gravals who simply nods. “I have a strong feeling that nothing good will come out of this, I swear it.” He finished as the two looked at him.

The three climb the hill, tying one end of the rope to a tree, before tying the other end around Jaa who then slides down to the nose of the ship. Followed close behind by Brinna and Gavals, who were now standing close to the hole Jaa had made, the two that followed covered their noses, and mouths before Jaa spoke. “Gaval hold tight, I don’t want this to go badly,” Jaa started as he rolled his hands into a fist before carrying on. “Brinna, check the body for anything that might help us find out what happened here.” Brinna nods, knowing her father well enough.

Slowly Jaa moves through the broken glass and carefully enters the cockpit turning the headlamp on as he scans the room. The light catches the figure of a man in a grayish blue outfit, with a scar on the right side of its head. The closer Jaa moved the clearer the being was, a human male with a crosshair tattooed over his right eye. Earning him a curious stare before he nudged the male that lay against the wall next to the door that led to the rest of the ship. Reaching out to check the male's pulse, sighing with relief as the male was alive but surely knocked out.

Untying himself from the rope to tie it around the male that lay limp in front of him. “I found one, he appears to be knocked out or something, but I’ll send him up,” Jaa shouts as the two above watch, yelling out a simple okay in return. “Alright, pull!” He shouts, and they do as told.

Guiding the body up and then holding it slightly as the two above carefully move the male through the hole and out into the open. As the rope is thrown back into the hole, where Jaa shouts that he is going to be looking through the rest of the ship. He was met with pushback by his daughter—Brinna—who wanted her father to return to the outside. As the fire grew worse, and the smoke grew darker as seconds passed. Of course, he ignored her words and pushed forward, leaving the two to look after the unresponsive male who lay next to the hole in the windshield.

“Damn that fool, he’s going to die if he keeps acting like this,” Brinna says under her breath as her brown eyes scan the male that lay still. “But what to do with you, stranger.” She says as she notices the faded tattoo on his right eye.

“He has a few cuts here and there, but I am not sure if anything is broken,” Gavals states as he looks over the body. “But he’ll have one hell of a headache when he wakes up.”

Brinna nods, though her mind is elsewhere.

For what felt like hours, the rope is tugged on, catching the two's attention, forcing their gaze off the body and back to the hole. Jaa stood with one leg on the chair and the other on the dashboard as he slowly made his way towards the whole. As the pair help him wiggle through the hole, Jaa curses under his breath, before finally making it out. Sitting with his legs in the hole, with black smoke filling the air, Jaa’s attention shifts to the only body he found in the whole ship. His brown eyes which his daughter shares with him, before looking towards the body and thinking, Just who are you?

“No time to stare, papa, we need to get out of here, and make sure this man is okay,” Brinna states as her attention shifts to the body as Gavals stands carefully on the nose of the ship, and carefully moves the body.

“Right,” Jaa says as he helps move the body. “He barely weighs a thing.” He adds as they lower the male down, while Brinna moves her speeder closer to the ship.

Resting the male's head on the cot first, his body followed after, it wasn’t long after the awkward silence that Brinna spoke first. “I have a feeling that something ain’t right about this…”

“Well, we aren’t going to leave someone who needs our help out to dry,” Jaa states as he climbs onto his speeder. “Now let's get going while we can, let the ship burn out and we’ll come back to see what's left.”

Twisting the grips on the speeder, Jaa, along with the other two took off for town that was two miles away. As they flew through the forest, Brinna couldn’t help but look at the oddly lean man whose features were unique and uncommon on Elon. Shifting her gaze back to what was in front of her, Brinna eased up on the speed and followed loosely behind Gavals who was right next to her father. Neck and neck as they entered the town, coming to a slow stop in front of the office in which Gavals works out of, and shares a wall with the General Store. It didn’t take long for a Twi’Lek boy who was no older than eighteen to rush out of the shop, down the steps, and beside the cot, as he looked over the male that lay nearly lifeless.

“Is he dead?” The Twi’Lek asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

“No, I assumed he hit his head on something and simply knocked himself out,” Gavals says with a tone that showed concern. “Help us get him in the office, the sooner I can get him in, the better off he’ll be.”

“Right away!”

Jaa, the boy, and Gavals lift and carry the male into the office while Brinna stands just before the steps that lead to a porch that runs down on either side connecting other shops.

“What’s happened? Who was that?” A voice calls out from the crowd that had poured out of the cantina.

Turning around to face them, Brinna could not tell the town folk what had happened for a moment. “A ship crash landed and it carried only one person, but who they are, is a mystery.” She finished with narrowing eyes before she climbed the steps and entered the office herself as the crowd lingered for a while longer.

The evening turned into night, and then night to morning, as the light from the sun seeps through the single window that was half covered by the curtain. A light tapping from Jaa’s index finger on the metal desk that sat across from the three full beds, that line the shared wall. It is the only thing that keeps him awake throughout the night, while Gavals disappears to get something to eat at the cantina that acts as both a bar and a restaurant. A light knock drew Jaa’s attention, forcing him out of the old wooden chair, and walking across the wooden floor. Opening it, to the sight of the Twi’Lek boy’s mother, who held a basket full of bread.

“I was told that Kocas was here all night,” The Twi’Lek woman says as she looks over to the three beds, her smile warm though a look of confusion soon replaces it. “Who is that man?” She gestures with her head.

“We don’t know yet, but we are hoping he wakes up soon, Caali,” Jaa says as he reaches out for a piece of bread.

“He looks like trouble to me, are you sure you should have him here?” Caali asks, her words circling in Jaa’s head as he takes a bite out of the soft food that he holds in his dirty hands. “I heard he came from a crash, and that he was half alive, and by the looks of him, he might as well be dead.”

“A lot to say for a farmer's wife,” Jaa’s words were rough, they had always been rough. Some whisper that his wife hadn’t died when the outlaws came in to rough up the towns folks, but she had left him for another man. “We wait until he wakes up, and if God willing, he’ll have all his memory.”

“Hmph, well tell Kocas to come home, his father is looking for him.”

“Of course, I’ll tell him when he stops faking sleeping.”

The pair stared as Kocas threw the blanket off of himself, his blue skin matched his mother's, while his clothing was more or less mirrored after Jaa’s attire. A black t-shirt, brown leather jacket, dark gray pants, and rough-looking boots that had seen better days. Something Caali had frowned upon, hoping her only child would find a better role model than that of Jaa Horne. The Sheriff of the small town had its share of problems, between the outlaws that come and go between this town and the next settlement. Where only those running away from their past come to settle, to start something that gives their life more meaning than their previous lives.

“What does the old man want with me anyway,” Kocas pouted like a child before going on. “I thought I wasn’t allowed on the farm, since I am a deputy now!”

“No deputy talks to their mother, or parents like that, go, see what your father wants,” Jaa says with a tired tone. “Then consider applying again to be a part of my deputies when you mature enough.”

Kocas looks away from Jaa before moving off the bed, leaving it a mess as he walks out of the office with his mother. Leaving Jaa alone with his thoughts, which soon shift to his daughter who lay sleeping in the bed that was pushed up against the wall. Running his hands in his short black hair that had stricks of gray on the sides, showing his age. As he sits back down behind the desk, the door opens again, this time with Gavals with a bag full of food. Sitting the bag of food on the desk away from his papers, and the only datapad that kept all the townspeople's health records.

“About time, what took you so long,” Jaa asked, as he opened the bag of food, pausing as he heard his daughter stirring away at the scent of food. “Hurry up and wake up, or else I’ll eat it all.”

She groaned at her father's words before doing as told.

As they were about to dig in, a groan filled the office, causing the three to quickly turn their heads to the bed that sat between the two others.

“Where…Where am I?” The male says as he attempts to lean on his elbows.

The male scanned the space, his eyes were fuzzy, and his head hurt more than he could handle, as his head fell back onto the firm pillow. Gavals was the first to approach, as he had scanned the man hours previously for anything broken or any damage to his organs. Tests that came back clear with a quick scan, though his voice was raspier than they had expected. Making Brinna a winner in the bet they had made out of boredom, but as Gaval checks the male out, Jaa and Brinna watch from the desk. Though Brinna didn’t stay long, she was quick to move to the other side of the bed.

“What’s your name?” She asked, where she was met with another groan as the male rubbed his head.

“There is a chance that he might not remember or worse lie to us,” Gavals says bluntly, though a part of him had the sense to know that this man was different. “At least that’s what I assume for now.”

“The name’s Crosshair,” The man says through another groan. “Don’t talk like I am not here.”

“Well, Crosshair, what are you doing here? Are there more coming? Why did you pick Elon?” Jaa was quick to interrogate Crosshair who only huffed as Gavals hushed the Sheriff.

“Leave him be for now, he needs to rest,” Gavals says as he pushes Jaa away from Crosshair. “Brinna and I can take it from here, go home or the Sheriff's office, and get some sleep.”

Jaa frowns, grabbing the bag of food before leaving the office where he is met with a small group of women that were in their late thirties.

“Who is the man in the doctor's office?” One asked.

“I am not ready to say just yet,” He looks back at the slightly open door, but it is soon closed by someone in the office. “We haven’t gotten a chance to question him, due to medical reasons.”

The women nodded though it was clear that their trust was shaken.

Tag: @n0vqni @daisies-daydreams @rexxdjarin @carodealmeidaira

If you want to be added to future works, please let me know!

#star wars #tbb crosshair #original character #original concept #romance #angst #slow burn #the bad batch #sw tbb #friends to lovers #Fordo-wifey #canon divergence

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bulle-d-bulliver · 2 years

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Stay.

[image description : buggy the clown from one piece is in the first plan, arms crossed and one leg up against the ship rail. behind him on the lower part of the pictures are colorful lights from left to right. there’s a starry night with some clouds. there’s a yellow light coming behind buggy, and a blue one from the sky in front of him. in the middle low is the title in light blue ‘Stay.’ outlined a dark blue. end id]

Edit, 29/10/2023 : I do not make banners like this anymore, nor can I edit the new ones on older posts due to the difference between the editor at the times and the current one since I use extensive alt descriptions. I will not remake posts for writing.

Rating : Teen and Up Audiences, SFW Fandom : One Piece Relationships : Buggy the Clown/Reader Tags : Non sexual intimacy, Cuddling, Fluff, Hurt/comfort, reader is stubborn,

Summary : Joining the party even though you had a headache that kept on coming back every now and then for a few days hadn’t been the brightest idea you had had. Nor had been not drinking any water whatsoever instead of sugary or caffeinated stuff and staying up at odd hours. And on top of it all, your wrists were hurting again. Although they had started hurting again a few weeks ago, but details, really.

Thank the sea your partner is there to force you to be responsible for once.

You winced as the crew around you roared with energy, the musicians starting a new song that was just as, if not louder, as the precedent one. Clinks and clanks echoed as glasses were passed or slammed on the tables that had been brought onto the deck for the party. Stomping all around as they danced and moved about. Yells and laughs from what seemed to be everywhere.

Well, joining the party even though you had a headache that kept on coming back every now and then for a few days hadn’t been the brightest idea you had had. Nor had been not drinking any water whatsoever instead of sugary or caffeinated stuff and staying up at odd hours. And on top of it all, your wrists were hurting again. Although they had started hurting again a few weeks ago, but details, really.

You roughly rubbed your temples, mumbling complaints under your breath as you got up and went to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass laying on the counter that was probably clean and got some water to act like you were totally fixing things up and being a totally healthy adult. Shrugging at no one with that thought, you left, going back on the deck and immediately heading toward one end of the ship, where there was no one. You still wanted, and needed frankly, some fresh air. The noises were loud, it wasn’t like you could go that far from it, but at least it was more manageable than being in the middle of it. You could probably ignore the ache that was worsening. Probably.

You sighed, leaning against the guard rail, nestling your head against your arms- only to be rudely interrupted by another pair of arms settling on top of yours and a warm body leaning on your back. Gloved hands laced with yours, and a round nose tickling you as the person nuzzled gently at your neck.

“Bad mood …?” Buggy asked, voice carefully kept low for privacy. You hummed in question, a little bit out of it, before you realized how it must have looked from his point of view. Ah geez.

“No, no. I’m okay.” You took a breath, sighing deeply. “Well I’m okay mentally. Just in a tad of pain, no biggie.” You said casually, half shrugging with the shoulder he wasn’t resting his head on. Maybe you shouldn’t have been as casual, what with your history of downplaying your pain, because he near immediately let go to tug you toward him and check himself if you weren’t stabbed and bleeding to death. Aw, shucks. Your heart squeezed a little at that. You grabbed his face, squishing his cheeks and stilling him in his action.

“Just a headache. And my wrists again. I’m not dying dude, calm down.”

He looked offended at that, taking your grabby hands away from his face and opening his mouth- which you promptly stopped with a finger against his lips.

“Baby. Darling. Love of my life.” You pressed your finger just a bit harder to make your point. “Headache.”

Buggy blinked owlishly, snorted and looked away, embarrassed. Although not enough to pout childishly, his hands moving to settle on your hips.

“Why are you even up here then ?!” He suddenly realized, letting go of you to cross his arms, frowning.

“I thought I was going to be fine. It hasn’t been constant. And I was lonely.”

“Well…!” He trailed off, not knowing how to argue back without comically yelling nonsense. He huffed. “You should leave now that it hurts. I don’t want to have to go fish you out when you unexpectedly pass out from your headache and fall into the sea !”

“Okay, one, I have literally never passed out from a headache. And two, you can’t even swim. You’re a hammer, dummy.”

“Exactly ! And then I’d have to be fished out !!”

You opened your mouth with a noise of protest, but he hushed you like you did to him earlier, tutting at you.

“You’re going to bed ! Captain’s orders.”

That got a squint, and a raised eyebrow coupled with a huff.

“I’m not 8. Don’t give me a bedtime.”

That got you a squint, and a raised eyebrow, coupled with a Buggy noise of discontent. Without warning, he grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the spot you were about to decide would be your grave out of spite, stomping through the party. Several people whistled at him, whooping and making kissy motions, which he very loudly answered with crude insults and threats. But when he had managed to finally get you to his cabin, the door closing and with it locking the noises outside, you couldn’t do anything but instantly relax from the tension that you hadn’t noticed had worsened.

The clown tugged at the front of your shirt, taking off the necklace you wore most of the time that he had given you.

“Clothes off, and put on your sleeping ones. Bedtime, Captain’s orders, do not make me repeat my flashy self you fool.” He growled, poking you on the sternum, although his voice was significantly lower than how it would usually be. You groaned, giving in although not without making it more than obvious how much of a hassle the idea of taking care of yourself was. He turned around, going to fuss with something as you began taking off your shirt. You stopped midway, hesitating. The clown immediately noticed, and gave you a Buggy look of discontent. You rolled your eyes, “Fine, fine.” and continued on. Although you stopped once you were in your underwear, eyeing your bed clothes and then Buggy. Well. He was insisting on you taking care of yourself, wasn’t he ? That meant not making things worse when you could tell you'd be having sensory issues with clothes on. You walked up to him and tugged at his sleeve to make him turn, putting your arms around his neck when he did so.

Immediately, he blushed, tried and failed to form a coherent sentence. Geez. You’d been shirtless plenty of time in front of him and he still reacted this way. It was both hilarious and flattering. Trying to save face, his voice broke into a yelp- making it worse if anything.

“You can’t- even if very flashily- seduce me on changing my mind-”

“I’m not.” You interrupted him. “I’m not. Promise.” He was about to argue back, so you went for a cheap move : gently cupping his face between your hands and giving him a soft look.

“Stay.”

Well that did the trick. He went dead silent, blush spreading violently across his cheek and burning the tips of his ears. Buggy tried speaking, only to fail and repeat a few times. And a few times more.

“Please ?” You tried, although you knew that was more than enough to convince him.

“F-Fine !” He choked out, “I’ll allow you to bask in my flashy company tonight !” Like almost every night, but you didn’t say it outloud, instead smiled and gently kissed him.

“Thank you, Captain.”

He looked away, a hand coming up to hide his blushing face as you moved to bed and fluffed up the pillows. It didn’t take too long before he had changed out of his clothes, washed away most of the make-up and moved to the bed, settling down against the pillows you had prepped and welcoming you in his arms as you leaned against his chest.

He gently kissed your cheek, bare hands running along your bare back. Your own were busy massaging his scalp, no doubt sore from keeping his hair styled the way he usually kept it all day long. He didn’t miss the little wince of pain you tried to hide however, and pushed your hands away from his head to hold them in a secure grip. Buggy placed a few kisses on your knuckles before motioning for you to move away for a bit. He shuffled until he was in a more proper lying position, holding you against him as you settled down again. Breathing deeply in, he exhaled a long, satisfied sigh. One hand went to your head and the other to the wrist closest, gently rubbing both, thumbs pressing circles. You hummed quietly, relieved to just rest instead of worsening the pain like you had been. You breathed with him, nuzzling against his shirt and pressing closer. The both of you stayed like this for a little while, just basking in the other’s warmth and enjoying the gentle attention you were receiving.

But you were getting antsy. Something didn’t feel right, and you quickly guessed it was a sensory issue. You frowned, trying to figure out what was stressing your brain out. The noises from the party were muffled enough for you to be alright. The room was only lit from the lamp on the nightstand, which was acceptable. It wasn’t because of anything you were wearing- you didn’t have a shirt or pants on. Nor was it from something you weren’t wearing, considering it’s what felt more comfortable. Buggy’s bare hands on your skin felt right, the shirt under you not so much. You looked up toward him and he hummed in question.

“Can you take off your shirt ?” He kissed your forehead in lieu of an answer, sitting up with you a bit to take it off. He pulled away his pants as well, knowing you might end up getting antsy again because of the remaining clothing, and layed back down with a grunt. You got on your side next to him. Buggy turned, wrapping you back up in his arms. One of his hands went back to your head to continue dotting on you like earlier, the other tracing endless patterns on your skin. He softly kissed your forehead again, mumbling a ‘come here’ and kissing you with a content sigh. You cupped his cheek, thumb softly caressing under his eye. He held you that much closer, nuzzling your nose lightly before pressing your foreheads together. The room was silent again before he broke it.

“You’re so pretty, Treasure. So damn flashy all the time, making me a mess all day long.” You snorted at that. “What ?! You saying your Captain’s lying ?”

“I thought we established you weren’t my Captain when we were in bed together.” You mumbled against the pillow, moving to bury your face in his neck but he stopped you.

“Well ? You’re not answering my question.”

“What question-” he pinched you, so you corrected yourself, “I know you’re not lying.”

“......Were you making fun of me ?”

Only silence and your smug smirk answered him. What followed was what you would call a cheap move when he placed wet sticky kisses on your cheeks as you playfully gagged and kicked his legs. He snickered triumphantly when you called for a truce, giving you one final kiss right on the lips.

“You’re lucky I love you.” You scoffed, brushing away some strands of hair that had fallen on his face.

He smiled, one of those pretty smiles full of emotion that made you weak, his now shaky hands squeezing you against him.

“I am. I love you, Treasure.”

very soft :D

#my writing #one piece x reader #buggy x reader #hurt/comfort #fluff #comedy #romance #gender neutral reader #cuddles

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callsign-bunnie · 1 year

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Gaz Character Card (Teeth and Skin)

Name: Kyle Garrick

Alias: Gaz

Allies: John Price, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, Farah Karim

Age: 26

Preferred Weapon: Handguns, and he has a machete he takes decent care of.

Skills: Hand to hand combat, basic survival, resistance to being tortured. He was one of the few to get bit by a sprinter so he’s naturally faster than the average human

Physical build: Black hair, brown eyes, 6’, slim build. His immunity bite is on his left shoulder, though he has a scar under his eye from when he was taken by the cartel.

Description: Gaz was orphaned when his parents died in a car crash when he was a toddler. He grew up in one foster home that was semi-okay to him. He joined the military when he was 18, where he served for four years before being recruited into the SAS by Captain John Price.

Price took him on a mission to Urzikstan and this is where he met Farah Karim and Alex Keller. They stayed in touch after the mission, becoming friends, though Alex stayed in Urzikstan with Farah.

Gaz was on mission with Price to investigate where a small team of British SAS officers had gone missing in Mexico. They uncovered a cartel that kept buying military officers from several militaries. While investigating the cartel, he was captured by it and tortured for three weeks until the outbreak started.

From there, he got trapped in a room with a Sprinter where he was bitten. He was forced to kill by stomping on it to death. After this attack, he’s remained on the slimmer side, and is naturally a little faster than the average person.

He picked up his machete off of a dead zombie, and now takes good care of it since it’s saved his own and Price’s life many times. He prefers close ranged combat with zombies, as he and Price have tried to stay away from hordes.

He was given the nickname by Price, though for seemingly no reason, but he ended up just answering to it, anyway, and so it stuck

Hey, want to get added to a tag list for this ship or AU? Reply to this with "add me to the tag list for [ship/au]" and I will tag you in everything I post for whichever you choose. If you want to be added to a different tag list, send me an ask or dm. Tag List:

@i-miss-balthazar @transneurodivergentmess @hayleymaltman

#Call Of Duty Modern Warfare II #Call of Duty #teeth and skin: a zombie cod AU #Kyle Gaz Garrick #teeth and skin character cards

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galaxy-lilies · 4 years

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Happy Halloween!

#if you tag this as ship I will personally come to your house and stomp you to death with my hooves #indiedraws #tubbo mcyt #tubbo #tommyinnit #tommyinit fanart #tubbo fanart #mcyt tommyinnit #halloween #happy halloween #tubbee #ghostinnit #ghost tommyinnit #ghost tommy

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batsyart · 4 years

Photo

oh shit i forgot to post these over here! have some momgiri and baby shiggy sketches

BONUS(mangaspoiler warning):

#if you tag this as a ship i will personally stomp you to death with my hooves #kurogiri #oboro shirakumo #tenko shimura #tomura shigaraki #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #lov #league of villains #my art #batsy doodles #my villain academia #villains

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glossyfairytears · 2 years

Note

holy fuck. can i just say how much i loved your obey me amongus piece? THERE'S JUST SOMETHING, SOMETHING I CAN'T WORD OUT, THAT I LOVE ABT IT SO MUCH

Among us, round 2

Brothers + datables

Gender neutral

Warnings: Cursing, “death” of other characters

A/N: Thank you! It’s one of my favorites to write so far.

Pt. 1

“Alright, let’s go again”, and with that Levi changes a few settings and slams the button before anyone can argue.

Imposter. Holy shit, you have permission to go wild. You’re fairly certain he changed to only one imposter seeing as you couldn’t identify anyone else. The weight rests on your shoulders, it’s solely up to you.

To try and not look so suspicious, you set off in the direction of med bay. Most of the group seems to have gone off to other parts of the ship. You could turn off the lights as try and vent to electrical. Hopefully you could time it right and escape before too many people arrive.

“Oi, human, where are you going?” Mammon tries to tag along again. That would be a problem if he were to be around.

“To med bay,” you decide to just go for it. “It seems a little suspicious of you to want to follow me”

“Yeah,” Levi adds on, “for all we know you could be the imposter, Mammon.”

“Wh-WHAT?!” He seems shocked at the allegation.

“I mean he does tend to lie” you add on, Levi humming in agreement.

“WHAT, I’M NOT THE IMPOSTER.”

“That’s what imposters say.”

“Fine then,” he huffs and starts to stomp away. “You’ll see I’ll finish all my tasks and show you who’s not an imposter.

The two of you watch him walk away before Levi turns to you.

“You’re the imposter aren’t you.”

“Wha-uh no” it’s a horrible lie. He can definitely see through it.

“Riiight, and Henry 2.0 is a turtle.”

“I could kill you right now”

“Don’t you want help killing some of the others?” He puts his hands up in mock surrender. “I have a feeling Lucifer will be tough.”

“What are your conditions”

“A sleepover and for you to not kill me”

“Fine, separate Lucifer from the rest and get him near electrical. In two minutes I’m cutting the power.”

You step into the med bay, checking out the room in person. The whole game was so much better in person. The ambiance, the ship, the adrenaline, simply fantastic. You wondered how the game worked for the ghost system, did people just end up as temporary ghosts? What happens to the bodies? They must be sucked to a temporary waiting room somewhere in the game. Could they see you last round when you were caught. That would be embarrassing.

Two minutes had just about passed, and Levi had most likely gotten Lucifer near electrical by now, probably under the guise of a task. It didn’t really matter, just as long as he was there. Cutting the power, the ship got even creepier. The devs spared no expense with the surroundings. Your helmet light flickers on, and you pop the hatch to the vent. Appearing on the other side in electrical.

What you didn’t account for is that there could already be someone there doing a task. Barbatos looks over at you, surprised to find you popping out of the vent. Oh hell. You go for it, not exactly knowing how the kill system worked. Turns out it’s like laser tag, stunning him and dropping him to the floor.

“Impressive MC”

“Shh bodies don’t talk”

He chuckles but stays silent. You could hear approaching footsteps they sounded as though they were just entering electrical. The kill countdown on your watch still has a couple of seconds left before it refreshed.

The steps seemed to be halfway to the large cabinets in the middle of the room.

Almost there. The steps were so close, you backed up and pressed yourself to the metal cabinets.

Lucifer turned the corner. And paused, looking at Barbatos on the ground.

Kill.

You shoot him with the laser, landing your hit. He crumpled near Barbatos, letting out a soft “oof”.

“Sorry luci”

“Say that again MC, I dare you.”

“Oops gotta go” you quickly vent to med bay upon hearing the sound of many footsteps approaching.

Popping out, you run back to electrical, making it appear that you had just been on the tail end of those arriving to help.

You can hear Asmo gasp, and the reactions of everyone to the two on the floor. You push to the front, feigning shock and dismay. Lucifer gives you the stink eye before the two disappear, probably haunting you now. The rest of the group heads to the cafeteria to call a meeting.

“So, who found the bodies” asks Satan.

“I did,” Mammon states, a little too proud considering the situation . “You shoulda seen the look on Lucifer’s face. Man, if only I had a camera that would have made so much grimm.

“It sounds like we have our imposter” Satan glances at Mammon.

“WHA- ME?”

“Yeah,” luke adds, “you do seem awfully happy about that”

The others begin agreeing until Levi alerts them that the time is up and voting must begin. As expected, most voted against mammon, with Simeon and Diavolo choosing to skip.

The game continues on with you managing to eliminate Satan by meowing in communications and luring him in. Solomon was surprisingly easy. All you had to do was ask him about a spell and get him to start ranting. He was distracted enough that he didn’t notice until the moment he hit the floor. You eliminated Beel by asking for him to accompany you to shields. Saying something about how it was a task you’d probably need help lifting things for. Belfie was zonked out anyway so he didn’t stand much of a chance when you found him. You managed to eliminate Simeon and Luke in meetings, somehow evading too much suspicion each time. It was very close a couple times, like when you killed Asmo by telling him his suit needed fixing in the back. Since he couldn’t reach you said you would help him, instead shooting him square in the back. Diavolo pointed out that the timing was weird with your alibi but was convinced otherwise by Levi’s rambling.

Now, the only players left were Levi, Diavolo, and yourself.

While you could go for diavolo he might actually be too on guard about the whole situation now that it was just the three of you. Levi, however, was not. Yes, you may have agreed to not kill him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides you could practically feel Barbatos’s ghost staring you down just for considering killing Diavolo.

Levi it is.

The three of you were still in the cafeteria when you turned to Levi, motioning for him to come closer. You act as though you’re going to whisper something in his ear, which to be fair, you are.

“Sorry”

You press your gun to his side,

“I promise to make it up later”

You pull the trigger, sending him to the floor.

The imposter wins.

The surroundings fade to black and you all appear back in the lobby.

“That was actually kinda hot” Levi turns to you, equally impressed and betrayed.

“Sorry, I knew Diavolo would have been on guard enough that it wouldn’t have worked out”

“That was quite impressive” Barbatos muses, “who knew you had it in you MC”

“I TOLD YA I WASN’T THE IMPOSTER.” Mammon’s voice comes from the other side of the lobby.

Yeah, yeah, we get it.” Belfie grumbles. “ we had to listen to you complain about it the whole time.”

“I’d like another round,” Lucifer says staring you down.

“You got it!” Levi says, pressing the button again.

#obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me x y/n #obey me shenanigans #among us #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon

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corpsebasil · 3 years

Text

Easily Replaced | Part 5

part 6

The Ocean looked like it wanted to strangle you with both hands.

"There's no other way out of Kerch?" You demanded, clinging to Jesper's arm as you walked towards the docks.

Since you were eight, you’d hated the sea. Hated the smell, the look, everything. It looked angry today, not even a day after you and the Crows had hired the Conductor, the sky murky overhead, the humidity making your hair frizz. You wrinkled your nose and gripped Jesper's arm tighter, savoring his familiar scent and warmth.

"I've got you, you know that." He told you, stunningly gray eyes winking down at your pinched face. He knew why you hated the water—what haunted your worst nightmares. He had nightmares, too. "We'll be in Ravka soon. Then we can rob a Grisha tent, or feed Kaz to a Volcra."

"We could feed Inej to a Volcra." You mumbled, and Jesper poked you roughly in the side.

"Inej is lovely. As are you." He reached over and fiddled with the Volcra tooth on your necklace, pinching it between his index finger and thumb. "Where did you get this, by the way?"

She tugged it out of his grasp gently, the tooth sharp against your skin. Memories of a snowy wasteland north of Ravka and a woman with a cane and the temperament of a wet cat came to mind. You missed Marmee, the woman you’d lived with from the time you fled Ketterdam at eight until you were fifteen, and her strange Fjerdan ways, desperately, even now.

Even when you bore scars from the country that had pulled you out of the lowest point of your life.

"My grandmother." Was all you said, and Jesper took the hint to drop the subject.

"We'd better hurry," Kaz's voice met your ears and you shivered involuntarily, refusing to meet his eye when he passed you on the dock. "this weather is shit. We'll be lucky to get into Ravka by sundown in these conditions."

His limp was worse today than usual—it always pained him more when the weather turned cold and rainy, and he clutched his cane roughly, a scowl on his face. You knew he'd be grumpy today. He always was when he hurt.

"Maybe you can bully the ocean into calming down." You mumbled, and Kaz shot you an exasperated look.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to change between you and Kaz as of last night, but you shouldn't have been surprised when the first words to you from him were rude. He made a face at your hair, piled hazardously on top of your head, and snorted.

"Did you battle a wildebeest?" He asked, gesturing vaguely at your head, and you didn't deem him worthy of a reply.

"Good morning." The Conductor sniffed, nodding his head at you as he approached the group on the docks.

"You're late." Kaz deadpanned in reply.

"Are you excited to cross?" Jesper asked The Conductor loudly, ignoring his friend, and the mustache-wearing man looked up from being jabbed in the bicep with a sharp nail from you as a greeting.

"It's all part of the trade. I've crossed more times than I can count." He gestured to his sleeve and smiled half-heartedly.

You reached over and snatched up his arm.

"HEY—" you squealed, and Kaz flinched. "Look at this. Look." You commanded, and held the poor man's arm out towards Kaz. On the Conductor's left forearm were quite possibly the most tallied scars Kaz had ever, in all of his eighteen years, laid eyes upon.

"I want this many tallies," you said, grinning down at the man's arm. "the Fold is so scary—how do you get across it? Have you ever fought a Volcra? I have."

"You have never fought a Volcra," Kaz commented, but everyone ignored him.

"It's a trade secret," the Conductor replied, giving you an amused look. "you'll see once we land in Ravka."

"Where's Inej?" Kaz asked, turning to Jesper, and you let out an unflattering grunt.

"We're holding up the ship." You said and pulled your arm from Jesper's, stomping your way towards the deck. Your eyes darted towards the churning water as you stepped over the gangplank to the ship, your stomach tossing in unison as you forced down haunting images that always followed the sea.

If you didn't lose your lunch before you got to Ravka, you’d lose your mind.

"It's not fair that I wasn't born a Sun Summoner," You pouted and crossed your arms over your chest, slouching aggressively. "Why does Alina get to win? I'd look great in a Kefta."

The boat trip to Ravka had been brief but debilitating. You’d only seen Inej once, puking over the side of the ship, but you were still so irritated with the Suli girl for winning Kaz's favor and for cutting your face that you didn't do more than offer her a handkerchief.

Even then, the two of you stayed in tense silence around each other.

Now that you were in West Ravka, piled into a carriage, you and Inej wouldn't stop playing The Staring Game, waiting for one another to crack under the weight of the other's stare. You were crowded against the window of the small carriage you were in, and it was burning hot.

"You look great in everything." Jesper told you, pulling your attention, and scooted closer on the bench beside you, stretching out his long legs.

The Conductor wasn't leaving either of you much room and Kaz, across from you, wouldn't stop death-glaring you like he expected you to summon a demon onto the carriage just because you were there.

"What the hell are you looking at?" You snapped, irritated with the weight of Kaz's glare, and he rolled his eyes.

"How'd this happen?" Jesper asked, and poked your cheek with a frown on his face. He ignored his best friend when Kaz gave him a glare that implied he was committing treason. "And where'd you go off to last night? I saw you sneaking off down the street all dressed up in your murder gear."

You glared at the person you liked the most out of everyone in that carriage and poked him right back.

"None of your business," you said maturely, and glanced over at Kaz. He watched you with an inscrutable look on his face that made him look like he'd smelled something foul. "I got bit by a snake." You said, and shot daggers at Inej with your eyes.

The girl at least had the decency to look embarrassed for throwing a knife at you.

"I bet." Jesper snorted, elbowing you like you were talking about an inside joke, and Kaz cleared his throat.

"If you two are going to be annoying," he began, and rolled his cane between his fingers, "you ought to ride in the box on the back of the carriage. Some of us have more important things to do than gossip."

"Like what?" You demanded, and Inej stared at the window like she was waiting for a miracle from God.

"Like the Conductor." Kaz started, his eyes sliding to yours, and he frowned before looking to the man crammed against the window beside Jesper. "I didn't hire you simply to get us across the Fold. You're with us because you smuggle Grisha out of the Little Palace, and that's the location of our target."

"Sun Summoner." Inej corrected.

"Alleged." Kaz cut back, and Jesper snorted.

"They wouldn't keep a fraud in the most secure location in all of Ravka," Inej pointed out, and Kaz ignored her, sending a zing of satisfaction up your spine.

"You said you have a contact who can get us inside. A Heartrender." Kaz continued, and the Conductor nodded.

"Mmhmm."

"How do I know we can trust her?"

"Nina grew up there."

"Most Grisha grew up in the Little Palace. Very few would betray their general, and fewer still would help foreigners kidnap their most prized possession."

"Nina's a radical. Thinks Grisha should get to choose if they serve the Crown. She despises involuntary service more than she does Fjerdans."

"What's wrong with Fjerdans?" You scoffed, raising an eyebrow, and Kaz rolled his eyes. You thought you were going to hurt him if he rolled his eyes at you one more time.

"She's Grisha." The Conductor laughed bitterly, casting you a look. "Don't be stupid, girl." He said and despite yourself you felt embarrassed.

"Watch the way you speak to her." Kaz set a dark look onto the Conductor and the man frowned.

"My apologies." He grumbled, turning to look out the window, and you mashed your lips together to prevent a smile.

tags| @balmasedas @euphoniumpets @subjecta13-thefangirl @itisroe @thefandomplace @kaitlyn2907 @alice-the-nerd @beeposstuff @kykymyeon @emberlei @tomhollandisabae @sakuramadae @louweasleymalfoy @thehighqueenandking

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #wattpad #shadow and bone #six of crows #kanej #freddy carter #kaz brekker imagines

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addictofanimation · 2 years

Text

I'm A Little Upset...

The anti kaeluc and anti luckae tags aren't even safe. Like, at all. This is a bit of a long one, so ignore it if you don't want to read this monstrosity.

I tried to look up some brotherly posts again and the tag is just filled with people hating "antis" and making all kinds of excuses to ship them and even trying to make arguments for it like eremika and guys who fall for their childhood friends. I myself don't really care for eremika and don't really watch AoT unless it's just the scene where Eren transforms for the first time, but did Eren ever consider Mikasa a sister? Did he ever refer to her that way? Or did his mother just help take care of Mikasa because she thought she would be all alone if she didn't? Besides (spoiler), they don't even get together in the end. Eren apparently got together with some other chick and even had a child with her.

What they ignore is that I usually don't like ships where they consider each other family then turn around and fall in love. I don't care if it's m/m, f/f, m/f, or whatever. It's strange and sends all kinds of mixed messages that can screw with a person's head and alter how they see things, especially if they are easily influenced. Not to mention that most of them are fujoshis anyway, not even LGBTQ people. Just straight girls who find it hot when two guys they want to screw, screw each other.

Some of the points they make are nonsensical too. Like relying on their color pallets or completely ignoring how Kaeya's profile has already been corrected of mistranslations, but the fact that he was adopted wasn't changed. Why would it take them over a year to fix a mistranslation? And why would they tell people who ask if Diluc and Kaeya are brothers (myself included), that they are and that they are adopted brothers? Kaeya canonically has referred to Crepus as his father and a Chinese fan has even pointed out that their mother (who spoke much better Chinese than they did) said that Kaeya referred to Diluc and Crepus as his adoptive brother and adoptive father.

It just boggles my mind that they have stooped so low that the only real defense that they try to make is by calling us racist. It's like they forget how anti-gay China is. Sworn brothers weren't invented as a BL trope or just so that gay Chinese people could fly under the radar, though I acknowledge that it's used for that too in recent decades or possibly centuries. It's older than that, much older. Even looking it up describes the bond as familial and it would honestly be pretty dang weird if it wasn't considering "brother" is in the term.

The only real-life comparison I can think of is if you had an adopted sibling that you adored when both of you were younger, practically joined at the hip. Then the two of you have a serious fight at eighteen and go your separate ways. Then when you meet again about three years later, everyone tells you that it's okay to get between the sheets with them because "you're not blood-related anyway, so it doesn't matter."

If someone told me to sleep with my adopted sibling, I'd punch their teeth out their mouth and have my siblings help me curb stomp them just to make a point. Not really, I'm a wimp who can't really fight even if I'm heavy-handed enough to hurt people around me by accident. I could probably be a pretty good fighter if I took the time to learn, but I'm way too lazy. I prefer to read, play video games, watch anime, and go for walks to get some exercise in. One of my siblings has handed my behind to me on a silver platter during the two physical fights we've gotten into.

I'm not gonna test somebody I don't know. That's how I wind up dead in a ditch somewhere. Or dismembered and scattered across the country and never recovered until much later.

Once again, I'd just like to point out that I do not go to these blogs, tweets, or posts to scream about how they are brothers and hurl death threats. I usually ignore them and go about my day. But it's getting really frustrating that I can't find any platonic Diluc and Kaeya content without kaeluc or luckae vastly outnumbering it and making it extremely hard to find. Even the Diluc and Kaeya are Siblings tag on AO3 isn't safe. While I don't hate them, I am getting really tired of their actions.

#genshin impact #genshin kaeya #genshin diluc #anti kaeluc #anti luckae #long post #genshin rant #if we're racist for not liking luckae or kaeluc then are the Chinese fans who don't like racist against themselves #sworn brothers is not just a bl trope to be used at your convenience #ignore the clean language #i'm trying to stop cussing like a sailor #i don't hate them #i'm just tired #hate is an all-consuming thing and I'm trying to avoid feeling that way about anyone #i'm also sleepy so that might have something to do with it #my post

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commander-diomika · 3 years

Text

[Image ID: Screenshot of a tumblr reply from user @weareallfromearth saying “Holy shit I would V much like to know what you’d do with ZolfWilde.” End ID]

This was in response to me tag rambling that if Alex “I don’t Actually Have That Much Experience in Courtship” Newall and Ben “I just Realised I’m Too Straight For This” Meredith don’t know what to do with Zolf/Wilde, they should hand the ship over to me.

*rubs my gay little hands together.*

I initially characterized them offhandedly as Enemies-to-Lovers but that’s not quite it, is it? On reflection I would say it’s more of an Opposites Attract situation.

Oscar Wilde, as re-imagined in the RQG universe, is a homme fatale; a dangerous, attractive man, skilled in encouraging people to underestimate him, wearing different masks, never quite being able to trust or be trusted by anyone.

There is NO personal/professional line for Wilde. He lives his work, and his work is subterfuge and interpersonal manipulation. (whether or not he started this way in his field as a journalist, or was forced to become this way by the changes in his world, is another post.) He is a person who either cares very deeply what people think of him, or is has decided that manipulating what people think of him is the way to get what he wants, and from the outside it makes no difference.

Zolf Smith does not care what people think of him. He isn’t even skilled at being kind and empathetic to people he cares about; he has no time for emotional manipulation or genuine charm. He doesn’t even have a fantastic grasp on his OWN feelings, let alone other people’s. He’s grounded, disinterested in frippery or appearances. Which is why Zolf and Wilde started out so deeply at odds with one another.

Despite the differences in the interpersonal approaches, they have plenty of common ground.

They are both deeply dedicated to a cause. They care about their work to the exclusion of all else. They are both pragmatists who have their own internal moral code, and are willing to bend or break other people’s rules in order to get the job done. They are fundamentally good people. Despite their rocky beginnings, they can respect each other because of these things.

And they might have maintained their mutually disdainful, begrudgingly respectful working relationship and that could have been the sum total... Except then the world fell apart. The Meritocratic organisation was initially compromised, then disintegrated. The blue vein plague isolated everyone and made it even harder to trust supposed allies. The Cult of Hades was on everyone’s ass making their life difficult, the other PCs disappeared off the face of the planet. Zolf and Wilde ended up in a situation where they had no one else they could trust.

Familiarity breeds contempt, but maybe if the contempt is already there, it builds Something Else. Wilde was stripped of his magic in a way that made it much harder for him to keep people at a distance and (pardon the pun) project the illusion of the debonair playboy. Zolf would have had the chance to see through Wilde’s masks, and get a better understanding of what parts of Wilde were a calculated tactic, and what was his genuine self.

Whatever betrayal transpired that gave Wilde his scar and hardened him, Zolf was privy to. He was either there and saw it happen, or he was close enough in the aftermath to see Wilde properly vulnerable for the first time in their friendship. Hell, maybe Zolf was the one who rescued him and patched him up. That was a chance for Zolf to realise that this insufferable man is a friend who he cares about deeply. At this point, he’s cared for awhile, but has been too wrapped up with his own spiritual difficulties to have space to admit that to himself.

And Wilde, oh Wilde, he’s desperate to be seen and known and loved, but he’s never allowed himself. He’s never felt SAFE to. He doesn’t let people get close, treats every conversation as a battle to be won. His safety and his power lies in being admired, but never loved. So even as trust and fondness for Zolf blossoms within him, he won’t for a second allow himself to hope that the fondness is reciprocated

With all that out of the way, this is my version of events.

Wilde is a slut (affectionate), and Zolf is gray-ace, so if there’s any bridging of that gap in terms of physical intimacy, it has to be from Zolf’s side. Giving canon a tender massage into place, that first instance of Zolf grabbing Wilde by the collar changes. (This happens on the Vengeance after Zolf has taught Wilde to steer the ship). Zolf drags Wilde down to say “I’m glad to see you perked up.” That moment now involves a whiskery kiss on Wilde’s cheek, and the man would be absolutely FLOORED by it.

I’m talking slow-mo glittering lights as Zolf stomps off blushing, unsure what just came over him; Wilde touches his cheek in bewilderment for a stretched moment before realising he’s completely agog, and he let go of the wheel for a dangerous length of time. Every interaction, every moment they’ve spent together over the last two years is flashing before Wilde’s eyes and a new context is being applied rapid fire. I’m talking the italacised oh kind of moment.

(on top of Zolf being witness to The Betrayal, throw some other moments of almost-intimacy into said flashbacks. I’m talking late nights, Zolf doing his gruff-yet-kind caretaker thing, cooking for Wilde, maybe sharing quiet and rare downtime with Zolf reading a Campbell novel on a couch in Wilde’s office)

Wilde is realising, “Oh this is allowed, oh this is reciprocated, this is possible.”

And of course they don’t talk about it, because what’s a slowburn if they immediately go and TALK about their feelings? No, the kiss goes completely unremarked upon, and Wilde continues to needle and tease and get under Zolf’s skin, except now with an added warmth in his eyes because he finally gets it. He finally understands that Zolf cares, that Zolf loves him, he’s just not the kind of dwarf that knows how to express it.

And Zolf, frustrated by feelings he can’t express but is beginning to understand, can hear the undertone of “haha, you looooove me,” shining through Wilde’s deliberate antagonism. They continue their time on the Vengeance just a little easier and closer to one another.

And we continue on to the death/resurrection arc, and Wilde’s spirit pushes for Zolf to open up about his feelings, because if not when he’s literally past death’s door, then when? When Zolf finally manages his “I need you,” it’s like a dam has broken for both of them. The second collar-grab and “We’ll go on a holiday or somethin’,” is now followed by a full kiss on the lips, not particularly erotic but passionate, (it’s the epitome of kissing someone to shut them up) and Wilde makes a surprised and delighted squeak that he would be glad he can’t quite remember when he returns to land of the living.

Once returned, Wilde might not remember everything that his spirit said or did, but he remembers the kiss. The comfort and ease that the two of them share in 179 (Eat Drink and Be Merry) is there, only instead of the two characters still being in a place of questioning their feelings for one another, it’s been answered.

Whether or not this relationship is sexual in nature is kind of up to you and what kind of fan works you like to read/write. I think there are wonderful scenes to be written an explored in many directions.

Wilde allowing himself to enjoy sex for intimacy and closeness instead of using it as a tool/ Zolf not being one for sex but Wilde’s never slept more soundly than when he’s being held in Zolf’s arms/ Zolf realising that the unfamiliar feeling he’s been struggling to express is the desire to rail Wilde til he cries/ Wilde realising that if his partner doesn’t want it from him, he’s actually quite content without sex/ The two of them being mean, antagonistic bastards to each other while fucking but Make It Kink (of the trusting and RACK kind). There really isn’t a single bad interpretation.

So really, I’m not doing anything different with them other than reading between the lines, giving canon a little nudge, and sticking the landing. This isn’t to disparage the concept of queer platonic partners. (I’ve got one!) or to talk shit about Ben or Alex (I DO respect their craft).

It’s just to say I find these two characters , and everything they’ve been through, PAINFULLY romantic, tropey, and delightful. I’m looking forward both to how Ben and Alex play the QPP, the fanworks I’m gonna read and hopefully write, and the inevitable tragedy that you KNOW Alex is gearing up for.

#zoscar #zolfwilde #RQG #rusty quill gaming #zolf smith #RQG Oscar Wilde #hank talks #rqg podcast #rqg meta #feel free to reblog #and to talk to me about it

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cora-vizsla · 3 years

Text

Cabur Chapter 1

Rating: M for swearing

Word Count: 4.5K+

Warning: Paz being a dick. Injury (no great detail). Reader not feeling sure of herself.

This is a female reader with very little descriptors. There shouldn’t be anything explicit in this chapter. If I miss something or you want me to add a tag, please let me know!

As much as you loved being a Mandalorian, sometimes you envied other people. When you first started going out on any type of mission, it was jarring just seeing faces. You were used to children running free but the moment they earned their helmets, there was no going back. You marveled at the fact that people walked around just seeing each other with nothing covering their identity.

You looked at the women especially closely. They weren’t warriors and to you that was especially important, but they were beautiful. The way they did their hair and lined their eyes with different colors. You never had a need for it considering no one saw your face.

You had been young when you bought what they called eye liner. It was kept hidden in your room until one of your friends saw it and snatched it, making fun of you as they ran with it. You had pummeled them but a few of the warriors had decided to pull you off him, telling you how stupid it was to have something you would never need.

The only thing warriors cared about was what their armor looked like.

Now that you had your own armor you understood just a bit more. You took great care of it, even as you were getting newer pieces and growing out of the basic pieces you had gotten at first. It all mattered, and it was all that was between you and death at times. You were happy to die a warrior’s death, but that didn’t mean you needed to go right then.

You sat on the ramp of the Razor Crest watching the people that walked by. Every now and then they would glance at you and look away quickly, unsure why there was a Mandalorian near them. You sighed, almost wishing one of them would try to strike up a conversation.

Your company didn’t leave much room for pleasantries or conversation at all. You knew you should feel lucky that you were chosen to go with two of the greatest warriors the tribe had but sometimes you wanted to smack their bucket heads together. Even as they were walking up to you, they were bickering in Mando’a. You rolled your eyes and stood, taking a crate out of Paz’s hands as he turned to Din. You listened to them argue and they did so long enough for you to take all the supplies from them and stack them neatly along the wall.

“I know this isn’t my ship or anything but you two are starting to attract a lot of attention.”

Both visors turned towards you and you felt even smaller than normal. You were new, barely earning the title and placed with two of the strongest. You pointed at the small crowd watching the armored men argue and they huffed, walking past you. Paz made sure to bump into your shoulder, almost knocking you over. You growled out an insult and followed him, slapping the button to make the ramp close.

Paz sat down by the wall and cleaned his weapons. He was always making sure they were clean and taken care of, which you understood. What you didn’t understand was why he was cleaning the same weapon he had cleaned just a few hours before. Anyone else you would have questioned but he was in a worse mood than normal. You trudged over to the ladder and climbed up it, joining Din in the cockpit.

“Is it okay for me to sit up here?”

“Yes. You should be seeing how I fly this in case you need to.”

You sat down and watched him carefully. It was an older ship, but he took good care of it. He treated it just as well as he treated his weapons, which meant a lot.

“I’m sorry for saying anything earlier.”

You sat in silence, feeling uncomfortable that Din didn’t respond. Eventually he turned towards you once the ship was set on auto pilot.

“You had every right to speak up, vod’ika.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping.

“Will I always be little sister to you? I’m a warrior now.”

“And you’ll always be littler than me.”

His tone was playful, and you smiled under your helmet.

“Don’t forget who trained you to be a warrior.”

“Gar serim! How could I forget about the infamous Din Djarin kicking my ass for years?”

He chuckled and sat back, crossing his arms.

“Don’t take it as an insult, prudii. I am proud of how far you’ve come.”

You smiled at the nickname he had given to you as a child. The moment you had seen him walking around you wanted to be just like him. You weren’t a baby when they had taken you in, but you were old enough to know what you wanted. You had told the Armorer then that you wanted to be a warrior and didn’t accept anything different.

“You call me little sister and shadow, but I am a grown woman now. I don’t need to be treated as a child.”

“You’re right. You will always be younger though until I die. So, you’ll always be vod’ika to me. Deal?”

You shrugged and he chuckled again. Din was shut off and cold to most people, but you were able to get him to chat every now and then. You attributed it to the fact that he had known you for so long. What made things uncomfortable was the behemoth of a man currently cleaning weapons.

You didn’t hate Paz. You really hadn’t been around him very much. He did teach but Din made sure that you were with him most of the time. He had called you shadow because you rarely left him when he was around.

It was common knowledge that him and Din bickered, and you thought you could handle it. One solid day with the two of them and you were sporting a constant and persistent headache. They fought in Basic just as much as Mando’a. Neither language bothered you, but you had a sneaking suspicion they argued more often in Mando’a because most people didn’t understand it.

“We’re going to be traveling for a while. Go get some rest. I’ll be sleeping up here.”

“Wow, thanks. Throw me to the loth wolf downstairs.”

“Loth wolves have more personality.”

“My apologies to the loth wolves.”

He barked out a laugh and you smiled, knowing just how rare it was to hear him laugh fully. You slipped down the ladder quickly, landing with a dull thud. You walked over to the cot and slipped off your beskar armor, setting it down gently against the wall. You made an effort not to make much noise not wanting to attract the attention of the brooding man in the corner.

You wondered if there was a way to break the shell away from Paz. He wasn’t going to ever be friendly to Din and it made it harder that you were closer to the one warrior that seemed to always piss him off. You wanted him to feel like he could talk to you though.

You sighed and laid down on the cot, quickly letting sleep pull you away from your thoughts.

XXX

You woke up to a loud noise and swearing. You rushed over to where Paz was and saw he was putting pressure on his arm. You walked over to the med pack and moved to him, kneeling next to where he was sitting on a crate.

“I don’t need your help, ad’ika.” He growled as he snatched the pack from you.

You bristled at being called a child and glared. You snatched the pack back from him and he hissed at the sudden movement of his arm.

“I am not ad’ika, Paz.”

“Alright, ge’verd.”

“I earned my title! I am not almost anything! Now shut up and let me treat your wound or I’ll let you bleed all over the floor.”

You grabbed his wrist and yanked his arm, yanking the sleeve up to look at the damage. You quickly used the bacta pad to cover the wound and made sure it was wrapped tight enough to work.

“I can feel the snark behind your bucket, girl.”

“You call me an almost warrior but I’m not the one who hurt himself cleaning his weapon. Isn’t that something you learn as a chi-“

He cut you off when he grabbed the front of your shirt, yanking you to him. Your helmet clanked into his, eliciting a snarl from your mouth.

“Let me go, chakaar!”

He twisted his hand in your shirt tighter and practically growled at you.

“If it wouldn’t be disrespectful, I would question how you possibly became a warrior. You’re weak. Soft. You can’t even break free of your allies’ grasp. How the hell do you think you’ll ever manage out there against someone who wants to kill you?”

A flash of self-doubt hit you but you quickly snapped yourself out of it. You reached forward and clamped your hand down on the cut on his arm. He hissed and let you go, cursing loudly.

“Cheap shot. Who is the chakaar now?”

“It’s still you. Next time you almost kill yourself don’t wake me up.”

“Toughen up, sweetheart, if your own tribesmen can hurt your feelings you won’t last a day out there on your own.”

You stomped back over to your cot and tossed yourself down on it. You chastised yourself for even considering being friendly to the giant ass on the ship. You’d stick to Din and continue to learn from him. He at least made sure there was a real lesson with anything hard you faced.

XXX

You wouldn’t ever admit it, but the mission was falling to shit. Din had gone in to find the quarry and you had no idea what Paz was doing. Your job was to watch out for anything incoming, but you hadn’t seen a damn thing in hours. Something was making the hair on the back of your neck stand up which put you on edge. You noticed that the woods around you got eerily quiet, so you stilled as well.

Right as you were about to switch the safety off on your weapon, you were grabbed from behind and flung to your right. You let out an involuntary squeak the moment you left the ground and whipped to your back when you reconnected with the hard gravel below you. You scrambled backwards and saw three shots land right where you had been. Your head whipped to the being stalking towards you and you jumped back to your feet.

“Paz! What the hell!”

“What the hell yourself! I just saved your ass!”

“It would have hit my beskar. I would have been fine!”

“There are weak spots in your armor, girl. You can’t expect to take three fucking hits and think you’d walk away without a mark on you.”

“So, I’m supposed to just walk away from being thrown by you?”

“Better you walk away limping than me dragging your body back to the ship.”

He was right in your face and you hated how much you had to tilt your head back to look up at him. You heard Din coming up walking the quarry and he paused when he saw the two of you.

“Glad to know I had no one watching my back.”

“I was watching your back until this chakaar decided to throw me across the forest.”

“I saved your life, ad’ika.”

“I am not a fucking child, Paz!”

“Enough!”

You shoved off Paz’s chest slightly satisfied by the fact he did actually move slightly. You stomped over to Din and took the quarry from him, walking towards the ship. You heard him try to talk to you, but you weren’t having it. The quarry complained that you were moving too fast, but you didn’t care about that either.

Once he was pushed into the carbonite you went to go to the cockpit knowing Paz hated it up there, but you were quickly grabbed and slammed into the wall behind you, knocking the air out of you. He lifted you up like you were nothing more than a rag doll, making it so your feet were dangling below you, unable to touch the floor.

“Let me go!”

“No! You are going to listen to me, ad’ika. You hate it so much when I speak down to you, but you don’t listen.”

“How can I listen when you don’t speak!? All you do is belittle me and trash talk Din. I haven’t heard a wise word come out of your stupid bucket!”

He moved forward so his helmet was pressed against yours, growling lowly. You grabbed at his arms and tried to dig into the spot you still knew would be sore, but he had wrapped it to prevent anything from harming him.

“I never would have let someone so weak pass my training.”

“Weak? How would you know when you were never there! You rip Din for being a bounty hunter all the time but when have you actually been there to train the next generation of warriors!”

“Maybe I was gone because I was ashamed, they were training aruetii with the idea they actually belonged!”

The roar of his voice was nothing compared to the pain of what he said. Outsider. You remembered all the children calling you that. Outsider. You would never belong.

You felt your entire body deflate and when he moved his helmet away from yours you looked down. He dropped you to the ground when Din started yelling at him and somehow you caught yourself, but you barely remembered it. You brushed past both of them and head straight for the cockpit, desperately wanting to get away from everyone.

You shut the hatch behind you and sat down in the co-pilot seat. A sob wracked you and you pulled your helmet off, desperate to be able to breathe. You held it in front of you and looked at it, tears streaming down your face. You had worked so hard to earn your helmet and took the creed just as seriously as the two men on the ship.

The children had taunted you with that word. Aruetii. They had told you that you’d never belong no matter how hard you tried, and you had proved them wrong. You were a warrior and damn proud of the fact. You pressed your forehead against the helmet and shut your eyes.

You just wanted to be accepted.

XXX

You heard the hatch open and wiped at your face with your sleeve before slipping your helmet back on. Heavy footsteps got closer until Din sat down in his chair, swiveling to look at you. You kept your face trained down at the floor, trying to calm your breathing and stop the seemingly endless catches in your breath.

“He was wrong, vod’ika.”

“He wasn’t the first person to say that to me, Din. I’m sure he won’t be the last.”

“And what happened every time someone said that to you?”

“I kicked their ass.”

“So why is this different.”

You shrugged and pulled at your chest plate, uncomfortable wearing the unforgiving metal.

“You and Paz are the two most respected warriors in our tribe. I just.. I thought things would be easier once I earned my place. All I do is fight and lose.”

“Don’t think that way, vod’ika. You’re a strong warrior. I made sure of that. I wouldn’t have brought you with me if I thought you were incompetent.”

“Why did you bring him?”

“We get bigger bounties the more of us there are. If I go in alone, they won’t give me the larger more important bounties to hunt. They see someone as clunky as he is, and they think he’s competent.”

“I wish he didn’t hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, vod’ika. If he hated you, he’d throw you from the ship.”

You sighed and let your head hang more.

“You don’t need to prove anything to him. You’ve proven yourself to the tribe. The Armorer forged your helmet, for you. You worked for the beskar that protects your body. Don’t let that chakaar make you think differently.”

“Do you mind if I sleep in your sleep area? I just.. don’t want to deal with him right now.”

“Go head. You can take your bucket off and relax for a while. We’re taking the quarry back and getting some more pucks. Won’t need you for a few cycles.”

“Keep him away from me as much as possible. I’ll work with him for the good of the tribe but..”

“Understood. Sleep well, vod’ika.”

“Goodnight, vod.”

You slid down the ladder and shot Paz a glare before climbing into the small sleep space. Once the door was shut you slipped your helmet off and sighed at being able to lay down without the helmet. You ran your fingers through your hair and groaned at the sensation. You would gladly live by your creed but the few precious moments you were alone would always be important to you.

XXX

You spent months avoiding Paz and helping Din get quarries. It became routine to help with whatever mission there was and immediately move to the cockpit or sleep area. You had found a way to clean your weapons in there even though it wasn’t the most comfortable. Anything was better than being stuck in the same room with Paz.

You weren’t sure you could ever get over him calling you an outsider. Din had been right; you worked damn hard for everything. His disrespect of you was disrespecting everyone who had trained and tested you. He didn’t know better than the elders or the Armorer.

Reminding yourself that you were competent is what kept you going. You moved through the rough terrain after a particularly grueling mission, listening for anyone sneaking up on you and your comrades. You didn’t know much about the current quarry, but he was a big deal which meant a lot of credits.

You had thought it was strange that Paz was the one walking him but didn’t say much. The guy was much bigger than you and still bigger than Din. It did make more sense to have Paz walk him if even to try to deter him getting away.

Of course, none of you were that lucky.

The quarry broke free by tripping Paz. It looked like he was going to take off but instead he pulled a blaster that was hidden in his boot. You tried to turn quickly enough to shoot but he was able to get a shot off first. You screamed out in pain as it hit your side, right in an open spot your armor left unprotected.

You dropped to the ground as Din tackled the man to the ground, punching him in the face. The man went limp and you howled out at the pain coursing through you. Din scooped you up in his arms and ran towards the ship. You couldn’t see much but it looked like Paz had tossed the quarry over his shoulder.

“Din.. can’t-can’t breathe.”

You wheezed in air and it was only amplified by the helmet. Din brought you directly to the cot and laid you down, ripping your beskar off your chest. He pulled your shirt up and swore under his breath at the injury.

“Vod’ika, I’m going to sedate you. I have limited medical supplies, but we’re close to a medic station. I move quicker than Paz. I’ll be back. You hang on, okay?”

You nodded at him and winced when you felt the medication being injected into your arm. You thought you could feel the cool of bacta hitting your side but sleep quickly took you from consciousness.

XXX

The first thing you noticed was how unfiltered the air felt as you inhaled. You groaned, touching your side lightly and heard shuffling around you. It sounded like Din and Paz were arguing quietly but your brain felt muddled. You tried to sit up, but a strong hand landed on your shoulder stopping you.

“Don’t. You need to give all the medication time to work.”

“Okay I-“

You stiffened when your voice sounded wrong. You whipped your eyes open and started breathing heavily as you looked up at Paz’s visor. Your eyes wildly looked where you knew his eyes should be and you jolted up to sitting.

“No. No!”

He tried to grab you again, but you roughly pulled from him and grabbed your helmet and slammed it down on your head. You slid back on the cot and panicked realizing both men had clearly seen your face.

“What did you do!? Why! Why did you do this!”

“You couldn’t breathe.”

“Then you should have let me die!”

Paz was trying to be calm and Din had his entire body turned from you. You sobbed and clung to your helmet like you were afraid they were going to take it again.

“Don’t be foolish.”

“Foolish? FOOLISH!? I took the same creed you did! Both of you! You both.. dar’manda. You’ve made me dar’manda!”

Din whipped so he was facing you and walked forward. You shrank back from him and Paz, feeling like a cornered animal.

“No. No one could possibly hold this against you.”

“No? You’re telling me that you could find any interest in a riduur if she had been seen? You have no idea how hard it is to be a warrior when you stupid men only want children. I had only a few years to live this dream of mine. Just a few years before the tribe would need me to start bringing younglings to add to our future. Now.. you’ve ruined my future. I’d be better dead than this shame!”

Din gripped the bed and tensed up. Paz looked down, not saying a word. Another sob fell from your lips so you curled up into yourself.

“It would have been a waste to let you just die.”

You raised your face slowly until you were looking directly at Paz. You felt your entire body tense as you glared.

“A waste for who? You know what? You got what you wanted. You said I’m an outsider, well now I really am. Forever branded dar’manda and shunned from the only family I have ever known.”

Paz stormed away, slamming things as he went. Din put his head down on the bed in front of him and stayed silent as you cried.

“Vod’ika-“

“Don’t call me that.”

“I didn’t look at your face. Paz warned me when I came on the ship, he had to remove it. He stayed with you and treated your wound.”

“I don’t care.”

“There are ways-“

“I am not marrying him, Din. No. And I’m not going to suddenly become his child so no matter what, my vow has been broken.”

“We can go to the Armorer. She can-“

“She can do nothing. She will say the same that you have.”

“You’d rather give it all up than-“

“Than be in a marriage with someone I could never.. yes. He has no respect for me. I was prepared to raise children on my own. I would have been honored to raise my ad’ika to be strong. I can’t teach them to be strong while being willfully disrespected. I won’t.”

“Then what? What will you do?”

“I will go. I’ll send half of my earnings to the tribe somehow. I can’t.. I can’t change what I am now, but I can still make sure they have what they need.”

“We could just not tell anyone.”

You scoffed and stood up, pulling on your armor. Everything hurt and you knew you needed more time to heal but the idea of getting away from everyone you knew was much more important in your head. Din handed you a bag full of supplies and walked you down the ramp, pointing you in the direction of the closest city as he handed you a comm device.

“It will be a long walk. I can-“

“No.”

He grabbed your arm and turned you, so you were facing him. He put his hands on your shoulders and pressed his forehead to yours, making your eyes start to sting with tears.

“Re’turcye mhi, vod’ika.”

You shook your head and sniffled, trying to stay strong.

“Goodbye, Din. Thi-this is the way.”

He hesitated and put his hand on the back of your head, keeping your forehead to his. You shut your eyes knowing that it was very likely the last time you would see him.

“This is the way.”

#paz vizsla #paz x female!reader #paz x reader #paz x you #the mandalorian #paz vizla x you #paz vizla x reader

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missskzbiased · 3 years

Text

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (21)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader X Han X OC

WC: ~ 9,2K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Tag List: here

Notes: SO! I hope you guys like it. I’m sorry for the delay. Next one will probably take some time as well. I’m an anarchist now, and updates will come out as I finish the chapters or once a week, no schedules.

PLEASE! Tell me if there is anything you would like to read regarding cute/suggestive scenes so I can include them <3

////

You closed the door behind you with a heavy sigh.

It had been just a few hours ─ if you could call about eight hours just a few ─ but it felt like time enough to last for a week; the exhaustion from a day too long crushing you mercilessly. You hesitated for a second, staring at the woody surface as you held the doorknob, before letting out another sigh while dropping your shoulders. The soft thud that filled your ears as you rested your forehead on the door was somewhat comforting, emphasizing the silence that met you in the living room.

Fucking finally.

Perhaps you were just too overwhelmed by all the things that happened along the day but as you wandered your eyes to the floor ─ meeting the familiar surface under your feet ─ there was an impossibly tight feeling in your chest that urged to be released. The realization that you were indeed at home crawled you little by little, getting to your mind and making you tear up. You never thought that day would come to an end but then you were right there in your living room, enjoying the comforting silence of your home.

You inhaled deeply, feeling every single corner of your lungs being filled by the air and holding it in as you closed your eyes to focus on everything that you shut away inside your head. The flickering thought that crossed your mind ─ two dark orbs that dived into your soul; a hurt twinkle dancing in them ─ made your breath falter for a second. The urge to cry hit you like a truck, and as soon as you choked on your own emotions and memories, the moment died in your throat.

You couldn’t let Paris see you crying for him.

You opened your eyes slowly, frowning as you focused on the complete lack of any sounds in the dorm. Why was it so silent in here? You detached your forehead from the door, turning around with narrowed eyes that roamed around the place just to find it empty. What was going on? You finally placed your eyes on the TV ─ turned off, therefore explaining the lack of the background noises ─, confused as to why Paris wasn’t watching it as usual.

“Paris?” You called unsurely, stepping away from the door to get a better look inside the house, “Paris?” You tried again, knocking on her door before opening it and peeking inside her room. No one to be seen. You frowned as you closed the door, divided between feeling relieved or worried about her absence.

Did she mention anything to you?

You roamed your eyes around the room again, looking for any piece of paper that could vaguely resemble a note but finding nothing in sight. There was something definitely wrong here. It wasn’t like Paris to go out so late at night… Especially without a previous warning. Did something happen to her? You pursed your lips, fumbling through your pockets to find your phone ─ hopeful of any kind of message or missed calls ─ and setting your sadness and tiredness aside for a moment.

No message or missed calls.

As much as you wanted to be alone ─ finally allowed to mourn over your poorly made decisions ─, you didn’t want to be crying while Paris could be out there in need of a friend. At the same time, the realization that it was yet another thing to deal with at the end of this excruciating day didn’t help much. The way your eyes turned watery again brought another heavy sigh out of your lips as you rubbed your face in distress, trying to organize your thoughts.

You pinched your nose bridge ─ index and thumb holding it firmly ─ before you let your fingers slide to make some pressure on your eyes. The motion ─ the closest thing that you would have from a calming massage ─ was barely able to ease your nerves, relieving the pent-up stress in an unsatisfying way that would have to be enough for now. You felt your eyebrows knitting as you tried to hold back your tears; lips quivering and chin trembling.

You had to organize your thoughts… You should be thinking… You should be doing something… You should make a decision… Why weren’t you calling her? Why were your feet stuck on the floor? Why weren’t you running or yelling or crying or –

The creaking sound snapped you out of your thoughts and your eyes glued to the entrance as the opening door revealed a smiling Paris carrying some plastic bags. You let go of your phone to stare at her blankly; arms dropping to your sides as she closed the door behind her. The way she walked to the counter ─ placing the bags there without much thought ─ was an incredible indicator that she was fine as hell and you were worrying over nothing.

Honestly? You didn’t even have the energy to be mad at her.

“You’re here” There was something under her tone that raised your suspicion immediately. The sentence hung in somewhere between excitement and acknowledgment, and you couldn’t help but frown at her input “I bought us some stuff” She shifted to a somewhat knowing tone, looking at you with glinting eyes as she gestured to the bags.

Usually, you would ask what was going on with her. Or at least you would study each motion and pattern she had ever presented to you so you could figure it out. But not today. No… Not today. Today you just wanted to go to your bed, tuck yourself inside your blankets and bawl your eyes out for rejecting Hyunjin.

You wanted to suffer for something you put yourself into and were now regretting. You wanted to be alone, and safe, and able to ignore anything that could add to your already stressful day. You wanted to ignore Paris and any strange antics she was displaying right now for whatever reason she had.

You wanted to feel at home.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m here” You agreed mindlessly, averting your eyes to your door and nodding your head at it “And now I’m going there,” You said, forcing a small smile as you took the first step to your safety nest. You didn’t miss the way her expression dropped ─ a mix of shock, confusion, and upsetness going through her face ─ but you choose to ignore it as you took another step towards your goal.

“Wait” She blurted; eyes darkening as she looked at you “Don’t you want to tell me about your day?” She sounded conflicted ─ maybe even offended ─ as she crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head to the side “I thought… I thought that since I missed classes yesterday and we didn’t have much time to talk…” She mumbled unsurely, frowning before averting her eyes “And today…” She trailed off, darting her eyes back to you.

Today?

There was just so much one could ignore and pretend not to notice at all… As much as you wanted to believe it was all a coincidence, you didn’t really think that Paris would show up with your favorite ice cream and wanting to talk about your day ─ especially today ─ if she didn’t know anything. You stopped in your tracks, sighing before turning around to look at her with narrowed eyes.

“What about it?” You asked just to throw her off, watching as she licked her lips before biting them ─ a quirk that showed up every time she was anxious ─ and swallowing dry “Do you have anything to say to me?” It was clear by your tone that you had picked up on something, and the way she darted her eyes around the room to avoid yours was a good indication that she knew it too.

Paris and Chan were working together.

You should have seen it earlier ─ actually, it had been happening quite a lot to you lately, hm? ─ but you had no doubts now. Of course, it could be just another gossip going around… Maybe someone had seen both of you? No… Paris wouldn’t just believe in a rumor like this… Not to the point of showing up with your favorite ice cream and asking about your day… Not to the point to get that disappointed.

On the other side, there was someone who Paris would believe on the spot… Someone that knew far too well why you were waiting for Hyunjin. Someone who knew your feelings and his. Someone who was encouraging you to go after him. Someone who tried to trick him and make him jealous just so he would do something about it. Someone who made sure to clear his real intentions up before walking away… Someone who had been suspiciously close to Paris lately.

There was no way they weren’t working together.

“No… It’s not that I have something to say but…” You watched as she uncrossed her arms, letting them drop to her sides, “I mean… It’s just that I thought… I guessed you would…” She floundered before clearing her throat; the nervous antics confirming your assumptions “… Want some ice cream after a long day?” She risked, forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace than anything else.

“Unbelievable” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Fine!” She whined, pouting as she stomped the floor “Chan told me you and Hyunjin had a talk today, okay?” She confessed bitterly as you threw her a disappointed look “I’m sorry but I am waiting for that ship to sail for too long to not be curious!” She said as if it was a good way to defend herself “Can you blame me for wanting to hear that you finally got someone who loves you?” She tried to appeal, getting another scoff.

“Yes, I can” You said matter-of-factly, huffing before looking away from her for a second “It’s my personal life, Paris! You shouldn’t be meddling with it!” You scolded, returning your gaze to meet hers “Now what? You and Chan will be like two old ladies gossiping about my life behind my back?” You sneered, huffing “My love life is none of your business” You reminded her, tone wavering slightly with the anger boiling inside you.

You weren’t quite sure what made you react the way you did.

It was like your mind had split up into two different trains of thoughts that were totally opposing each other. On one side, you felt the need to be focused and rational, so you pursed your lips and tried to stay composed, pretending to be calm on the outside. On the other side, the sadness was giving way to anger and it boiled and burned you in the unhealthiest way possible.

You wanted to scream and cry and fight and be mad and… Anything.

You wanted anything that could put all your fears away.

Maybe that was why you were being such an asshole.

“Hey” Paris blurted in surprise; brows arching as she stared at you without a clue of what was happening “What the hell?” She didn’t sound offended as she said it but lost, frowning at you while tilting her head “You don’t seem too happy… Didn’t he… I mean… I thought you would be really happy right now” She admitted, trying to play dumb and not give away his feelings.

“Yes, he did” You answered blandly; a faux calm settling in your face as you stared at her blankly “He confessed; if that’s what you’re wondering” Of course, you knew far too well that this was exactly what she wanted to know. You knew that your next line would get you into an argument but somehow you didn’t care; you even urged for it “I rejected him” You stated simply, watching for her reaction.

The expectation raised on you as Paris seemed shocked by your input; eyes lost in yours as she didn’t have a clue of what to do now. You studied the lack of expression on her face, catching the slight change when a hundred thoughts seemed to cross her head at a time. You pursed your lips as her brows slowly knitted together ─ as if each second that went by made her realize what you had just said ─ until she finally frowned at you, mad eyes connecting to yours.

“You did what?!” Her tone was heavy and stern, a reprehension that fueled you as she scrunched her nose to show you how she despised your decision “Y/N!” That was it! That was the anger you were looking for “Why would you do that?! You like him!” She inquired in dismay; eyes diving into yours to find any signs that could explain your behavior.

“What does it have to do with anything?” You knew you were being obnoxious and Paris swallowed it hook, line and sinker. The way her eyes glinted in disappointment and outrage fueled you to keep pushing her boundaries “I don’t get why you’re so interested… It’s not like you want him anyway” She scoffed, averting her eyes to try and not take her anger out on you.

“You know what?” She sighed, still refusing to look at you “I don’t get you” She shook her head in wonder; the grimace present in her face insinuating how pissed off she was “I don’t get what is going on inside your head… I really don’t” She admitted, returning her gaze to you “You’re being ridiculous and I know you know it” She added “I just don’t understand why” She stared at you, disgusted at your antics.

“Maybe you should ask Chan” You taunted, getting a scoff as she rolled her eyes, tilting her head to look at the ceiling in a fed-up manner. You watched her curiously, waiting for her to blow up but she didn’t. Paris returned her gaze to you once more and threw you a look that almost made you ashamed of yourself.

Almost.

Because that was exactly what you wanted.

You longed for her outburst.

“I’m not going to play this game” She smirked knowingly; surprising you as she seemed to pick up on your plans “If you want to fight, you need to do way better than that” She grimaced, shaking her head to show that she wouldn't give what you wanted “If you have all this energy to keep bullshiting me then go to Hyunjin and sort things out, Y/N” She sighed, scowling “What do you expect me to do? Yell at you?” She scoffed, arching her brows skeptically.

“Yes…” You didn’t intend to answer her so honestly but before you knew it, the word hung in the air heavily, making you shrink. You lowered your head, peeking at her reaction just to see her expression morphing into a surprised one, clearly not expecting you to actually answer her “I mean… No, of course not” You lied, voice so low that you couldn’t even convince yourself.

“I don’t understand” She admitted simply, tilting her head in wonder. You noticed how she started moving away from the counter ─ careful as a hunter afraid that their prey might run away ─ and came in your direction with hesitant steps “Why would you want me to yell at you?” She asked with caution, glancing at you unsurely.

“Because I deserve it…” You muttered under your breath, prompting her to hum in confusion, questioning you again without any words “Because I deserve it!” You finally snapped; head going up to allow you to meet her eyes. She yelped ─ startled at your break out ─, looking at you with wide confused eyes that couldn’t grasp what was going on “Because I’m a coward, Paris!” You added; voice shaking as you let the tears roll down your face and eyes overflowing with hurt and regret.

“Y/N…” She mumbled; pity oozing from her eyes.

“Don’t Y/N me!” You cut her off “Yell at me, Paris! For Lord’s sake! Yell at me! Tell me I’m wrong! Tell me I’m awful! Anything!” You wailed, hand going to rub your face and wipe away some of the tears “Anything! Just tell me that I’m a coward! Tell me that I do nothing but run away! Tell me…” You hicked up, choking on your own tears as you let yourself slowly go to the ground.

You curled up as you sat, rocking your body back and forward.

“Tell me I don’t deserve him… Tell me I blew everything up…” You begged, raising your eyes to meet hers. You could feel your face twisting in a pained grimace that threw her off for a second “Tell me I’m a coward, Paris… Please, tell me I’m a coward…” You couldn’t help but curl up again, hands pressing hard against your eyes as you let all your feelings out of your chest; the crying loud and ungraceful.

She stared at you silently; gaze burning your skin.

“Why don’t you yell at me?” You mewled; swollen eyes going back to meet hers in a suffering question that you knew she wouldn’t answer “Why can’t you do this, Paris? I’ve been bad… I did everything wrong again… I messed everything up and I can’t stop doing it!” She kept her silent stare at you, and the lack of response prompted you to keep rambling “I run and run and run and run… And I keep coming back to the same mistakes again, Paris” You vented; hand going to rub your running nose and wet cheeks.

Again, she just stared at you.

“Say something!” You yelled, eyebrows knitting together in renewed anger “Anything, Paris! Hit me if you want! I don’t know… Just…” You tried to fight back the quivering in your lips, tangling yourself with your own arms before lowering your head again “Just hurt me…” You pleaded, shutting your eyes as much as you could “Gimme a reason to cry, Paris…” You choked on your own words, hiding your face from her as you burst out in tears once more “I don’t wanna cry for him” You mumbled, voice muffled.

The steps echoed in the room along with your crying but you didn’t raise your head to follow her path, shrinking when you felt two arms wrapping you. The warmth provided was very welcomed, and you leaned on her touch; the unexpected tenderness being enough for you to pour everything out of your chest. You felt Paris kissing the top of your head, no words being said as she silently supported you through your breakdown.

“I’m so sorry” You howled but what you really meant was thank you.

////

You stared at the dancing branches above you.

The light beams that managed to get through the heavy layer of leaves decorating said branches painted the air with thin yellowish strings that caught your attention. You let your mind wander as your eyes followed every single notch that came together into a messy crease pattern, getting distracted by the falling leaves that blocked the beams every once in a while. The moment meant to be calming and reassuring to your soul but you couldn’t help but feel melancholic as the grass underneath you tickled your skin, reminding you of brighter days.

It was kind of funny how the blue sky peeking at you behind the treetop, the insufferably shiny sun casting beams all around, and the perfectly shaped clouds couldn’t brighten up your mood. As much as you could tell that this was a beautiful day ─ maybe the most beautiful day of the whole season ─, you couldn’t feel healed by any of this. You could see it was all dazzling and colorful and perfect… Yet, you felt exactly the same as if it was a cloudy rainy day with nothing but grey to take in.

The wind fanned all over the place; a soft puff that intensified the branches’ dance and disturbed the sunbeams’ path, allowing it to hit right at your face. The forced warmth wasn’t enjoyable and the sudden brightness that hit your eyes was even less welcomed, prompting you to close them shut. The motion was harmless and it wouldn’t bring you any suffering on any other day but something about it brought you everything you were trying to push aside right now.

Perhaps it was the fact that you cried so much on the day before that your swollen eyes felt too heavy ─ even if you had plenty of time to get used to it by noon ─ and closing them just reminded you of your own feelings. Perhaps it was the fact that closing your eyes brought you the urge to cry again ─ even if you had already cried enough for an entire lifespan ─, reminding you of the sadness you pretended not to feel right now. Perhaps it was the fact that the blackness and emptiness behind your eyelids served as a screen to project all of the details ─ his eyes, his mole, his nose, his smile, his dimples, his tears… Just all of him ─ that you didn’t want to remember.

You exhaled heavily.

Perhaps it was because you were a fucking masochist that decided to lie down under the very same tree that witnessed everything… From your laughter ─ such as when you caught him pretending to read a book ─ to your bonding ─ such as when he cried while venting about his insecurities ─ to your confession ─ such as when he kissed you as if you were the only thing that mattered in his world ─ to your departure… Such as when you walked away from him, leaving all your true feelings unspoken.

Yeah, perhaps it was because you were a masochist.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You snapped your eyes open, startled at the sudden intrusion as Chan’s voice made its way to your head “Do you mind explaining to me why the fuck are you lying down under this damn tree instead of making out with the bloody guy I had to trick to confess his own feelings to you?!” You sighed; eyes softening into a vulnerable gaze as you shifted to sit down and look at him “Because I sure as hell don’t have a fucking clue!” He groaned, clasping his hands together as he met your gaze in a demanding and inquiring glare.

“I don’t know what you want me to say” You confessed, exhaling heavily as you crossed your legs, resting your arms on your lap as you lifted your chin to fully return his gaze. He scoffed ─ closing his hands on a fist as he bit his lips to hold back a comment that would have probably hurt you ─ before throwing his head back to huff at the sky. Chan returned his eyes to you with nothing but outrage, grimacing before pinching his nose bridge tiredly, trying to stay composed.

The façade didn’t last even for a second.

“Say that you fucking love him!” He snapped, floundering his hands in the air to try and calm down “Wasn’t that what you wanted to say to him?” He asked in distress, eyes urging for your answer “Isn’t this how you feel?” He insisted, offering you a lost and yet frustrated look that prompted you to sigh “Just go and kiss him! I don’t know!” He pressed his temples, closing his eyes as he exhaled heavily to try and organize his thoughts.

You stared at him blankly, studying his upset features for a few seconds before you lowered your head, focusing your gaze on your lap. Contrary to what you would have expected, the sudden outburst didn’t startle you. If nothing else, his scolding felt like a warm comforting hug and a pat on the back. It was just what you needed. The way he yelled those words at you ─ demanding to know why you had chickened out like that ─ was just like hearing everything going on inside your head out loud.

There was something about hearing it from him and not from yourself ─ from actually hearing it and not just torturing yourself with those thoughts ─ that fulfilled your needs. It felt real. It was like all those words and feelings weren’t just inside your head anymore. You weren’t the one mourning and reliving everything. You weren’t the only one who despised your actions; plus, you could see it plastered over his face in a way that was impossible to ignore.

And you didn’t want to.

As you looked at him, you felt the urge to take care of Chan… To calm him down… To soothe him. This feeling ─ the kindness that finally ran through your veins instead of the hatred and contempt ─ was strong enough to distract you from your mind. Maybe that was what you really needed. Although you could reach out for Chan─ place your hand on his ankle and squeeze it reassuringly ─, you couldn’t do the same for yourself.

You didn’t deserve it.

The disappointment you held for your actions was too much to allow you to be this kind to someone so unworthy of it as you. The way you saw it, there were just two possible ways to deal with it. You either cried everything out ─ and you didn’t think you had the right to do it ─ or you relived it over and over again ─ punishing yourself for being like this.

There was no time to be kind to someone like you.

But you could be kind to Chan.

Maybe it could make you worthy of something other than hatred.

You didn’t need any words as you lifted your eyes to meet his; thumb rubbing circles on his skin and lips twisting in a small smile that was meant to tranquilize him. You sensed it wasn’t the right time to talk ─ as you could see in his embarrassed and regretful eyes ─, so you waited patiently for him to say something, giving him enough time to think about whatever was going on inside his head. He let out a heavy sigh, sitting down across you and taking your hand into his, holding it gently as he stared straight into your eyes with a tiredness you never saw before.

“I’m sorry” He huffed, hold tightening just a little bit as if to say that he meant it “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like this” You couldn’t help but fight back a smile, finding it amusing how he was so apologetic about something that made you feel so at ease. You shook your head ─ a slow motion that was meant to conceive how untroubled you were about his behavior ─ before smiling at him, dismissing the idea that you were somewhat offended by anything he said “I’m just really tired…” He sighed, rubbing his face in distress.

“Why? What happened?” You asked softly, and he scoffed before looking away in disbelief. As you stared at his profile, you noticed the dark circles under his eyes but you choose not to comment on it “Do you need my keys?” You offered, tilting your head as you tried to read his expression but getting nothing out of it.

“Are you really going to ignore why I’m here?” He asked grudgingly, returning his eyes to you “Y/N… I thought you loved him” He admitted “I really did… I…” He chuckled bitterly, pinching his nose bridge before sighing one more time “I spent all night long watching ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ and seeing Hyunjin crying and eating everything he could find in his way” He confessed, and the picture was somewhat funny and yet depressing.

You didn’t answer him; there was nothing to say.

“If I’m gonna be honest with you… I thought you guys were meant for each other” He scoffed “I thought you loved him as he loves you… I thought you guys shared so many struggles that you could heal one another… I thought…” He hesitated, letting his shoulders drop as he lowered his gaze to his lap “I thought you would say yes, Y/N…” He confessed, clearly disappointed at you.

He let the silence hang in the air, expecting you to say something.

You didn’t.

“Nothing?” He sighed “Really?” He raised his gaze to meet yours.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Chan” You tried your best to let your tone unwavering but you failed, and you knew it. You noticed how his eyes twinkled, picking up on your oddness “What do you want me to do?” You asked obnoxiously, scoffing as you looked away “Lie to him?” You felt your lips twitching slightly; the lie tasting too bitter for you to keep a straight face.

“Haven’t you done that already?” He asked knowingly; voice softening as he seemed to figure out everything “Y/N…” He smiled kindly; the corner of his lips sinking just enough to show his dimples as he played with your fingers “Why are you lying to yourself?” He didn’t sound judgingly but gentle, trying to look into your eyes but failing as you avoided his gaze for dear life “You love him” He stated matter-of-factly, chuckling in relief.

“No, I don’t,” You scoffed, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“So what is this for?” He asked, hand going to your face.

You allowed him to lift your chin and guide you to look at him, shivering as his finger slid from there to the corner of your eyes. You knew far too well what he was going to find there. You pursed your lips as firm as you could, trying to hold back everything that you wanted to pour out of your chest. He caressed your skin gently, and you could feel the faint watery sensation there as he let go of your face to show you his finger; a single drop balanced in there.

You closed your eyes, refusing to acknowledge it.

He chose to stay silent, waiting for you to be comfortable enough to say something. Anything. The way your entire face twitched and spasmed ─ especially your jaw that seemed settled in quivering nonstop ─ brought the realization that it was too late. You couldn’t fight back your tears anymore. You threw your face back, opening your eyes in a vain attempt to allow the soft wind to dry your tears away but it didn’t. The way you clenched your jaw and tensioned your throat did nothing but bring you pain before you finally let everything out, bursting into tears.

“Why are you doing this to me?” You howled, choking on your own feelings as you threw Chan a look that was meant to be a glare but turned out to be more of a cry for help “I don’t want to talk about it… I don’t want to feel it, Chan!” Both of your hands shot to your eyes, pressing them firmly to try and hold back the tears “I don’t want to love him!” You cried, shaking your head repeatedly “I don’t want to!” You insisted, voice stressing in a pained mewl.

“But he loves you, Y/N” He pointed out carefully, placing his hand on your head to stroke your hair gently “He really does” He reassured you, body sliding on the grass ─ the soft sound giving him away ─ to get a place beside you. He let his hand trail down to your back before sneaking to your shoulder and trying to pull you closer to him but you didn’t give in to his touch “There is no need for you to run away… He’s already yours” He hunched his back to try and take a look at your face but you still had your hands over your eyes “Why not take this chance?” He tried again, and this time it was too much for you.

“Because I’m a coward, Chan!” You snapped, removing your hands from your eyes and glaring at him “Because I’m a fucking coward that can’t face my own feelings!” You cried, connecting your eyes to his even though you couldn’t clearly see him “Is that what you want me to say?!” You let the corner of your lips quiver, knitting your eyebrows together “Do you want to hear that I won’t ever have someone to love because I’ll keep running away from it?!” You choked, overwhelmed by everything that crashed over your feelings.

You threw your head back, feeling the tears streaming down your face.

“Do you want to hear that no matter how much I run, I always end up in the same place?!” You scoffed ─ almost a whimper as your throat tightened by the second ─ before returning your eyes to him “No matter how much I run, Chan… I run and run and run and run… And I always…” You took a deep breath, air wavering to get into your lungs “Always” You emphasized, averting your eyes from him “End up alone, Chan” You muttered, hugging yourself as you lower your gaze.

“Y/N…” He whispered, shocked by everything you spilled on him.

“I don’t want to be alone, Chan” You howled, throwing your arms around him as you shoved your face on the crook of his neck, letting your tears soak his shirt. He wrapped you up in his arms, rubbing gentle circles on your back as he let his lips graze over your strands “Just don’t leave me alone…” You pleaded in a choked way that prompted him to shush you.

“Never…” He promised quietly “I would never”

////

How exactly did you end up in this situation?

You cut the beef on your plate awkwardly as you avoided looking him in the eyes, the scratching cringe noise making you shrink and grimace as you fixed your gaze on the fork and the knife in your hands. Now that you thought about it, maybe you should have weighted your options a little bit more… Wisely. It was too late for that, though, as Han sighed before dropping his cutlery in his plate, raising his eyes to stare at you uncomfortably.

“Lemme see if I got this right…” He said, covering his mouth and muffling his voice as he tried to manage swallowing down his food and talking at the same time “You’re asking me advice about your relationship with Hyunjin?” He stressed out the word love, throwing you a skeptical look “Because I hate him” He added in confusion, frowning at you.

“Yeah…” You cleared your throat, refusing to look in his eyes “Pretty much yeah” You risked a glance at him, bringing the food to your mouth as you tried to buy some time. He stared at you fixedly; head slightly tilted down, which made him look judging and attentive as you munched your food. It went down your throat as gently as a rock, prompting you to cough “I mean… Is tha such a weird thing?” You shrugged but the answer was quite obvious.

Yes.

“Kinda” He chuckled, arching his eyebrow funnily “I mean… You stumble over me on the way to have lunch” He raised his index finger in a counting motion “You comment on how Hyunjin missed today’s classes and how Paris saw him wandering around and went after him, leaving you alone” He pulled the second finger “You have puffed eyes and dark circles and look like literal shit” He pulled the third finger, and you couldn’t help but to chortle.

“Oh, Thank you!” You chirped mockingly, lifting your head so you could fully stare at him, “Such a nice thing to say” You pointed out playfully, getting him to pale and deadpan at you for a second. You could almost hear his system rebooting but it didn’t prevent you from laughing at his face “I’m just kidding” You decided to take pity on him.

“That was totally not what I meant!” He reassured you eagerly; system finally back and eyes settling for desperation “You’re beautiful as fuck, I swear!” He rushed to say, frowning at his own words “No! I mean… Not like beautiful in a flirting way, you know? Just like beautiful as… As in beauty and... Hm…” He rambled, seeming embarrassed as he trailed off and stared at your grin “You know what? You can do the talking” He sighed, holding his cutlery again and shoving food in his mouth.

“I think the saddest part is that you’re still being awkward as fuck around me” You mentioned, leaning back on your chair as you tilted your head and looked at him teasingly “The bright side is that you always were kinda weird anyway” You joked, prompting him to lightly kick you under the table and making you laugh.

“Ha-Ha! You’re hilarious” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief “Pardon me for not wanting to make it more awkward than it already is” He grumbled; mouth making soundless complaints as he took another bite at his food “I mean─ I literally confessed to your all sweaty and smelly and mouth full of sauce… God, that was terrible” He cringed, hand going to hide his face “And then I go all–” He scoffed, taking his hands away from his face “You’re so beautiful” He spoke in a silly low tone, mocking himself.

“If it makes you feel any better this is the first time that I genuinely laugh in three days” You offered him, face twisted in a playful frown “Also… You weren’t that smelly and sweaty… You didn’t practice hard enough that day, I think” You taunted, and he snorted before looking to the ceiling and huff.

“Okay… So first: No, it doesn’t make me happy” He knitted his eyebrows together, throwing you an inquiring look “You literally just said you’ve been sad for three days” He pointed out, eyes widening slightly to emphasize his sentence “And two: Coach practically shoved that ball up in my ass! How can you say that?!” He whined, grimacing grudgingly at you.

You laughed at that ─ like wholeheartedly laughed at that ─, and for a second you actually believed that your attempt to brush aside your feelings was working out. Silly you. It struck you again ─ just like a truck ─ and your laughter died in your throat little by little until the twinkle in your eyes vanished like the flame of a blown candle. Something about it must have caught his attention because Han mimicked your expression, staring fixedly at your face as he waited for you to voice out your thoughts.

You didn’t.

“Everything fine?” He asked concerned as you didn’t offer anything back. Hell no… No, it’s not fine. You could never voice it out loud, though, even if it was the truth, “What’s with that face?” He risked, arching his brows to invite you to answer his question.

“Got it when I was born” You tried to joke it off.

“I see your jokes didn’t get any better” He taunted; a playful tone trying to mask the worry you could see in his eyes. He cleared his throat before reaching out for you; hand slowly slinking its way to lay on top of yours in a reassuring motion. The situation itself made you fight back a smile, and you found it somewhat cute the way he tried to push aside his shyness to make sure you were okay.

“Tough crowd” You smirked at him, and as much as he rolled his eyes playfully, you knew he wasn’t buying your cunningness. Wasn’t the fact that you could deceive neither of you kinda funny? You sighed heavily as you lowered your eyes, knowing that pretending there was nothing going on inside your head wouldn’t get you anywhere “Hyunjin confessed to me” You admitted dejectedly, peeking at him to see his reaction.

Contrary to what you expected, Han didn’t seem surprised or enraged at all, deadpanning at your statement for a few seconds before clearing his throat again and lowering his gaze. He didn’t say anything for a while, diving deep into his thoughts and pursing his lips as his eyes changed from time to time. Maybe you shouldn’t discuss your love life with a friend that confessed to you not that long ago… But now was a little bit too late for that.

Were you capable of doing something right at this point? You didn’t think so. You sighed heavily as you studied his features, wondering how could you have put so much unnecessary stuff on everybody’s shoulders in so little time. To be fair, you had a lot on your plate right now… It didn’t mean you had the right to fill someone else’s cup, though. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, ready to push the subject aside and move on to any other thing but Han beat you to it.

“So you love him?” Han’s tone wasn’t really loud but it startled you just like he had shouted right to your ears and then hit you in the face. You didn’t even answer him, mouth closing shut and eyes staring at him blankly for a few seconds as your system seemed to reboot “You wouldn’t tell me he confessed to you if you weren’t interested…” He mused, narrowing his eyes at your reaction “But you rejected him” He assumed wisely, stating it in a matter-of-factly way that made you wonder when did he start to actually be able to figure out what was going through your head.

There was no way of taking it back now.

“Love is a strong word” You mumbled, averting your eyes from him and fixing it on your plate again; fork poking the food and scrambling things all over. Well… As people say: You are what you eat. You grimaced bitterly at the sight, grossed out at the mixture you did yourself and dropping your fork with a clink before swallowing down the lump on your throat.

“Yeah… It is quite strong” He agreed softly, almost sounding mindlessly before he squeezed your hand once to invite you to look at him “But is it the right word?” He questioned solemnly, and you could only be thankful for not giving in to his squeeze and refusing to meet his eyes, or else he would have seen things you didn’t want to show to anyone.

Things you were trying to hide from yourself.

The truth was that the rollercoaster of emotions you had experienced through Wednesday and Thursday brought you a realization: There was no way to fight those feelings away. Well… If you were really being honest with yourself there might be a way but you just didn’t have enough willpower to succeed in it. If you had feelings for him but you didn’t want to and you couldn’t fight them away, there was just one other option available for you… Ignore them.

Initially, you felt guilty for trying to fight away your feelings. Especially with how harsh you were about it while rejecting Hyunjin. Although you weren’t rude, you weren’t gentle as well… You were raw, to say the very least. You knew how much it meant for him to face his fears and voice his feelings out loud. You knew hard it must have been for him to say that he loved you and wanted to be with you even though he was terrified of bonding. Now, you couldn’t feel guilty at all.

Now, you couldn’t help but think that you should feel proud of what you were doing. So what If you were running away from your feelings? So what if you were scared to handle this maturely? So what if you didn’t want to risk your mental health for him? You weren’t meant to do this. It wasn’t your job to take. You shouldn’t feel sorry for protecting yourself from the instability that was bound to come from this relationship.

You shouldn’t feel sorry for running away again.

It didn’t matter how many times you chanted it to yourself, you couldn’t help but feel guilty anyway. In retrospect, you couldn’t remember a time when you managed to overcome your feelings… You couldn’t point out one time that you didn’t give up and decided to run away… You couldn’t point out one time that you fought for dear life for something you wanted. And it destroyed you. You couldn’t help but run away from your problems and every single time you did it, nothing was resolved.

Your father? You watched as he walked away from your life and you did nothing about it. You let him abandon you and your mother and when he came back ─ as if nothing had happened ─, you let him walk into your mother’s life just so you could follow your own path. Your mother? You left her behind just like your father; ran away from all the problems she got you and herself into and didn’t even look behind. You let her with the one man you could never trust for the rest of your life and pretended you weren’t as bad as him in the most hypocritical way you could ever have done. Hyunjin? You rejected him as if you didn’t love him as much as he loves you… You settled on finding a reason why you shouldn’t love him back and held on to it for dear life.

Maybe, if you could convince yourself he wasn’t good enough for you, then you could finally let him go. Maybe, if you ignore your feelings like you had been doing throughout all your life, you would eventually grow used to it. Just like, eventually, the pain of being left behind was manageable enough. Just like, eventually, the disgust of acting like your father was manageable enough. Just like, eventually, the façade that you weren’t just like him was manageable to maintain. Just like, eventually, you would be capable to manage to not feel affected by your feelings for him.

You didn’t need to fight it because, eventually, it wouldn’t even affect you anymore. You didn’t need to be a fighter ─ to be fair, you weren’t really a good one ─, you just needed to be a good runner. And that you could do for dear life. You were a hella of a runner and if you needed you would be the best of them all. You would run away from your feelings for dear life. You would proudly and actively pretend that not seeing him in the morning didn’t affect you. You would convince yourself that knowing he couldn’t even bear to go to the same classes as you didn’t affect you.

You would convince yourself that this was your best choice.

You would convince yourself that the tight feeling in your chest meant nothing but an overattachment that you would be able to manage eventually. You would convince yourself that the fact that you kept turning your back to people didn’t affect you… That you weren’t afraid of being abandoned again… That you weren’t afraid of not being enough… That you weren’t afraid of being crazy just like your mother… That you weren’t afraid of being untrustworthy just like your father… That you weren’t afraid of running over and over and over–

“Hm… Y/N?” Han called you unsurely, trying to catch your attention by waving his hand right in front of your face “You’re still with me?” He asked jokingly; a vain attempt to lighten up your mood. You blinked a few times, trying to regain consciousness. What were you talking about before? You didn’t even remember anymore “So… Do you love him?’ He cleared his throat, searching for your eyes.

“What I feel doesn’t really matter” You dismissed his question, though your answer made it quite obvious “What matters is that I don’t think he’s the right person for me” You lied but the scoff you got as an answer was a good indication that Han wasn’t buying it at all “And Paris and Chan don’t seem to share my vision… And I was wondering if…” You glanced at him unsurely “You know?” You grimaced sheepishly.

“You were wondering if I wasn’t up to badmouth him since I hate the dude” He completed for you, arching his brow amusedly “You want me to say that he’s a fuckboy and there is no way that he loves you for real and you shouldn’t fall for his charms, right?” He licked his lips, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair “You want me to say that he’ll cheat on you and hurt you because he’s a huge piece of shit” He added, and you felt your throat itching to refute him, and yet you urged to believe in it.

“Yeah… Kinda” You nodded, getting a chuckle as an answer.

“This can never get out of here…” He muttered, moving forward to lean on the table as he cupped his mouth to mockingly pretend to tell you a secret “And I mean never” He emphasized; eyes glinting in amusement. You nodded, confused as to why he was acting so lighthearted to the fact that you just implied you loved Hyunjin and needed reassurance that not acting on it was the right choice.

“Just spill it” You rushed him, frowning in confusion.

“I don’t think I can give you what you need” He admitted, and to say that you were flabbergasted would be an understatement. You gawked at him, surprised to see him shrugging his shoulders as he returned to his seat “I know I tried to meddle a lot in your love life… And I know I said he just wanted to get into yours and Paris’ pants that day” He coughed to hide his embarrassment, eyes darting around before fixing on you again “But the truth is that… He did a lot for you guys” He said grudgingly.

There was no fucking way.

“You’re kidding me, right?” You scoffed “What happened to your attitude?! You hated him!” You scowled; the rage suddenly building up. What were you going to do now?! You were counting on it! You needed to hear someone supporting your decisions! “Now what?! The fact that he fucked the whole campus doesn’t matter anymore?! The fact that he’s always pissing you off?! The fact that he’s annoying to the point of being obnoxious?!” You slammed the table, though it wasn’t strong enough to catch anyone’s attention.

“I don’t believe I’ll have to say it…” He sighed; the grimace that narrowed his eyes ─ as well as the whining and ridiculous whimpering ─ showing that he wasn’t happy to say what he was about to say “So what about the fact that he went way out of his way to help Paris?” He scowled as he defended him “Or the fact that you’re constantly defending him when I roast him?” He added, eyebrows moving to emphasize his point “Or the fact that both of you always seem comfortable around him even though he’s a dick? Or the fact that you literally let him kiss you on the stairs?” He pursed his lips judgingly, and you couldn’t help but feel your face burning at that.

“It was a fake kiss!” You retorted eagerly “And what about the fact that you were always dismissing all those arguments?! What about the fact that I don’t want to hear his good points but his bad ones?! What about the fact that I’m freaking the hell out here?!” You yelled, getting up from your chair and placing your hands on the table to look more threatening “You were supposed to tell me that he sucks, Han” You whined “I need you to help me hate the idea of being with him” You sighed tiredly, returning to your seat.

“No, Y/N…” He offered you a small smile, reaching for your hands once again “You need to face your emotions” He said softly, rubbing circles on your skin “You were the one to encourage me to tell my father my real thoughts… My dreams…” He sounded grateful, and you couldn’t help but stare deeply into his eyes “I was afraid too, you know? I was afraid I would disappoint him… I was afraid… Well, it doesn’t matter” He chuckled, shrugging “The point is that you’re afraid of your feelings… You’re afraid of being hurt” He moved his hand to your cheek, cupping it gently.

You lowered your gaze, unable to look him in the eyes right now.

“And it’s normal” He reassured you “But to be honest with you… I don’t think you would be like this if you didn’t believe he loved you back” He admitted, prompting you to nod softly “You would just know that you couldn’t give in to your feelings and be firm about it… I was on the other side once, I should know it” He laughed, making you cringe for a second “If you love him and you really think he loves you back… I mean… Someone who comes to his enemy to ask for help for a friend couldn’t be that bad, hm?” He offered you, and this time you looked at him again, catching the disgust in his features.

“Who would think that you would come to like him one day” You joked, chuckling as he scrunched his nose and retreated his hands from you, shaking his head eagerly to dismiss the thought.

“Not a word about it to him!” He said threateningly, narrowing his eyes at you “If he comes even close to knowing that I don’t hate him that much now, I’ll make your life a living hell!” He grumbled, making you laugh wholeheartedly.

“You know what?” You rested your cheek on your hand, leaning on the table “I think you deserve a hot dog tonight” You offered him, a grateful smile on your face “Really… Thank you for saying that” You sighed “I think… I mean… I knew it was the right choice but…” You cleared your throat “You inspire me to be bolder, Han” You cringed, hiding your face behind your hand “God! I’m so cheesy and emotional nowadays” You grimaced, making a gagging sound as you let your index go into your mouth jokingly.

So maybe you were freaking out about your emotions… Maybe you were too afraid of being hurt and hurting him… Maybe you were terrified of not being enough for someone you loved so much. Again. Maybe you were terrified of not being able to support him… Maybe you were just too afraid to allow yourself to fully express your feelings for him… But that was why you were in therapy.

You would learn how to deal with your struggles…

Eventually, you wouldn’t be so afraid anymore…

Eventually, you would learn to manage it.

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oven-thermometer · 3 years

Text

Darksiders week Day II

Day 2: Shipping - Any rating (so long as nsfw works are tagged properly!) and any trope, so long as it involves shipping. Please note that a ship does not have to be canon (i.e. presented as a ship in the existing material) to count–in some other reality, they could have loved each other. Also, I hear human survivors have been reported by the Hellguard, so feel free to bring your OCs as well!

This is my first time writing anything with an OC, I'm happy it was Aurora because I love her so much. Also I know it's day 3 today but I didn't get to post yesterday and my work gave me the day off??? For some reason?? So I get to post today :>

What Aurora looks like and her different forms It helps to just check this post out to make the story easier to read

Warnings: blood, fighting, angst, lying, description of bad wounds, animal harm (by demons) and death.

The large golden doors swung open violently, slamming into the adjacent walls. Darkness in the hallway was chased away by the piercing light from Hell’s eternal fires raging across it’s plains. Taking her hands off from the doors, her hung head lifted up slowly. Her eyes caught the large throne situated at the end of the hallway, it’s impending presence making her swallow the invisible lump in her throat. ‘At least he’s not here.’ She thought, making her way down the dimly lit hallway, the candles burning to life as she walked past.

“Aurora.” her name was called in a monotone voice. Turning her head, she located the voice at one of the side doors next to the throne. Emerging from said door, was her mother. The woman that constructed her and made her into what she was today. She held neither malice nor love towards her. She had been made into a monster but she never knew the proper way to be treated by someone you were made by so she really had no point of reference. Coming out of her musings she walked further towards the woman. “Lilith.” she said, nodding her head in greeting.

Lilith sauntered closer, stopping in front of the taller creature. Aurora shifted her legs, waiting for her to speak. Lilith hummed and narrowed her eyes before quickly turning around. “You have a new mission. This one pertains quite importantly to the grand plan Samael and I have,” turning half her body to look over her shoulder she made clear eye contact with Aurora, “success is the only outcome that will be accepted. Are we clear?”

Lilith punctuated her last words by closing her fists, reminding Aurora of he last time she hobbled back into Samael’s castle with defeat written all over her wounded body. Shuddering slightly at the thought, she nodded. Lilith turned fully towards the throne again and stepped towards it. Picking up a small scroll of decaying paper from the stone and opening it, she spoke again, “You are to travel to Earth.”

Aurora looked up, her long ears perking up at the name, “Earth? Why there?”

Lilith slid her tail along the floor, signifying her annoyance at the question. Aurora looked back down and mumbled an apology. Lilith drew her shoulders back and closed the scroll once again, “The apocalypse will soon be triggered, Earth will become the battleground for monumental forces. You will travel there and, using your human-form, you will find the horseman that will be sent to find the cause of the trigger.”

Aurora shifted on her legs again, she hated being in her human form. It meant she had to lie. She could deal with the killing and the war but lying and infiltrating made her stomach turn. Deceit was what came with that form.

Pushing her feelings down, she held one of her hands out for the scroll Lilith was holding. Lilith left it in her outstretched hand, making her way back to the side door before adding, “You must seduce him Aurora. You’ve done this kind of thing before and I have complete faith you won’t disappoint me.”

Aurora nodded again, her eyes scanning the contents of the page for more details. “Oh and Aurora, bring him to that location before the third torch atop of this castle is blown out by the dry winds.”

Blood curdling screams replaced the quiet alleyways with sheer terror. Stepping out of the void portal Aurora took cautious steps further out of the alleyway – more screams making her turn her head towards the impeding invasion of demons from a large tear in the Earth. Large orange lava spewed from the enormous crack as demons screeched and hollered from rooftops and street lamps.

Aurora sneered from her place in the alleyway, she may be part demon but this was never who she was. Innocent humans were being torn apart right in front of her and all she could do was look on for the being she was meant to trick into her plans. She had never met any of the Nephelim, even before their demise due to four of their own. Everyone knew the story, even her. She felt sorry for the remaining four, they had been forced to murder their entire family and proceeded to work for the very beasts who bargained with their lives. Lilith also spoke of them often, cursing the four mostly. That was why Aurora was made, so that one day the spawn of angel and demon might continue.

Shaking her head, she returned to her search. Spotting another large tear and a large trail of fire and smoke further into the streets of the city she identified the crash site of the warrior. She swiftly brushed off her clothes, stopping midway as she realized she had to look dirty and beaten for him to take pity on her. Sighing, she threw her head back in sarcastic amusement.

Aurora had made her way from the alleyway towards a building used as a parking lot across the road. Smears of blood and bodily fluid littered the floor, the faint noise of muffled grunts off to one corner caught her attention. A man, a human, was being pinned to the wall as a pack of small demons overpowered him and took their opportunity to rip the scared features from his face. As the life left his eyes and his last whine of pain escaped, his head lolled forwards. Stopping in her tracks, Aurora’s face held no emotion. Seeing this as her opportunity to gain the injuries she required, she started attracting the group over from their feast. She stomped her feet and shouted at them to gain their attention. “Hey you stupid mongrels,” she put her hands on her hips and gave a low whistle, “how’s the invasion going dimwits?”

The mindless demons quirked their heads at her - they could smell that she wasn’t human, but she didn’t look supernatural. Snapping out of their daze, as if acting with a hive mind, they snarled and charged violently forwards towards her. Aurora lifted her forearms to act as guards, awaiting the attack.

Her breath felt like it was made of lead. Her arms and legs covered in bruises, welts and scratches. The vicious pain of her combined wounds made her head dizzy as she leaned against one of the concrete walls. Slouching forward she slid down slowly to sit down on the cold floor. Her mind was blank. Only focusing on keeping her healing magic at bay so as not to erase the work the now squashed demons did. As soon as she was content with how much damage they did, Aurora began her offense. Making quick work of them, she needed a moment before venturing out of the building again. She wiped the blood pooling on her chin, the viscous material flowing freely from her nose and mouth due to broken cartilage and cracked teeth.

A small scratching noise caught her attention, lifting her head she looked towards the cars sitting in their lots. It was coming from there, she was sure. It only got louder, a pitiful whining shortly accompanying it. Was it…another human? The demons would’ve killed them before though, or were they sparing them to witness the torture? If it was a person she would need to make sure they won’t get out of this alive: they could’ve seen her use her powers after all.

She stalked closer to the collection of crashed and parked cars, broken glass and more blood breaking beneath her boots. The whining and scratching continued to increase in volume, making her cock her head to the side in confusion. A thin tarp laden with dust and dirt covered the small opening between two cars that had evidently been in a bad crash. Aurora could now also hear deep and scratchy breathing – similar to her own. The whining seemed one akin to an animal, this only deepened her confusion. Lifting the tarp she readied an attack spell in her flesh hand, but what met her eyes gave her pause. A large, white hound met her vision. It’s thick fur stained with it’s own blood. It was slightly smaller than the Hell Hounds that she was used to. Awkwardly shifting again, she pulled more of the material away and threw it behind her. The dog’s labored breathing and flowing wounds made her heart ache – humans had minds, and some of them were vile beings. But, animals and beasts with no sentient choices only wanted peace. They never deserved whatever terrible treatment they got – quickly realizing Aurora made her think of her own situation, she shook her head and lowered herself to her knees. Banishing the attack spell she replaced it with her healing magic.

As she healed the creature she thought to herself, ‘Was that man your owner?’ She didn’t dwell on that thought either.

It’s breathing improved and it’s gashes closed, but it remained unconscious out of exhaustion after her magic had stopped. Sighing, Aurora questioned why she even did this. It was going to get found again. It may be almost as big as a Hell Hound, but it clearly couldn’t fight as well.

Again, another noise drew her attention away from the situation. A large crash near the entrance to the building made her quickly clamber to her feet. ‘More demons??’ she thought, exasperated. But, it was no demon. In fact, it was the one being she needed on this hellish mission.

War’s voice boomed, calling after the pathetic demons that had run from their battle. “Scum!” he shouted, “I saw you running in here with your tail between your legs, come out for a merciful decimation!” ‘Geez, he isn’t one for pleasantries, huh?’ Aurora thought to herself. Swiftly slipping into her role, she began limping her way away from the cars – although the limp wasn’t fake.

Accidentally tripping on a large piece of fallen concrete, her hands automatically came up to cushion her fall. Her metal limb creating a sharp noise against the floor caused her to cringe.

Stopping his intimidating rant, War looked over to the small human. His stony features showed no shock or confusion of any kind. Not any emotion at all. Aurora gave a small grunt, quickly getting to her knees before her eyes landed on the impressive height of War. Scrambling backwards, her face showed a feeling of utter fear. Her mouth hung open as she raised an arm in mock defense, her bionic arm. War’s eyes flashed a light of pity before turning back to their normal cloudy blue. “P-Please..Don’t - hurt me.” Aurora kept her widened eyes on him, showing nothing but the want to live another minute.

War turned fully to her form, acknowledging her wounds, her tired eyes and how she didn’t even seem to have the strength to stand. Forgetting the beasts he was chasing, he wracked his brain for what to do. He had a mission, a purpose – but this, thing, looked so helpless and in desperate need of help. Walking the short distance towards her, he took a healing potion out of his supply belt and set it down in front of her. “Use it.” Is all he said before leaving the building, and Aurora. Rearing her head back in confusion, she lowered her arm and tsked in annoyance. Grabbing the large container of green liquid, she ran as fast as her bleeding legs could take her after the Nephilim. He wasn’t going particularly fast, his normal walking pace, but to Aurora’s state it was difficult to catch up with.

“Wait!” she called out after him. War stopped and looked back at her over his shoulder. Huffing, Aurora got closer and looked up to him, “Are you just gonna leave me here?!”

It was War’s turn to be confused, not visibly though, “Excuse me?” Motioning to her wounds as she spoke, Aurora replied, “Well I am arguably not in the best of states and seeing as you obviously don’t want to kill me, could you at least escort me to a safe place?”

Aurora’s heartbeat roared in her ears, she couldn’t believe she was talking this way to a Horseman. But she needed some way of being near him. War grunted, turning his head back to look onward, “Move quickly, I will take you to the angels.”

Smiling to herself, Aurora followed closely behind as he made his way towards a horde of angels a few blocks away.

#darksiders #darksiders war #darksiders oc #darksiders fanfiction #fanfiction #darksiders x oc #writing #darksiders week 2021 #DarksidersWeek2021

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tailorvizsla · 4 years

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You didn't think I wouldn't ask for some Boba Fett though now did you? (Of course not, he is the new shiny for me iuwhei) ✨ HC Of my Choice... What about having your first kiss with Boba and he doesn't #know it is your first one till part-way through or after? Am I projecting? Yes, yes I am.

Title: HC – Boba Fett and First Kiss Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Boba Fett Word Count: ~1700 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Boba Fett is a grumpy bastard, but you hold your own against him. Boba also gets injured, but there aren’t any graphic descriptions of the injuries. Author’s Notes: Okay, my Angle, I’ve been thinking about this one for as long as it’s been sitting in my inbox. I’m not familiar with Boba Fett’s character, so I wanted to make sure this was good for you. So, without further ado, here we go with the Big Green Grumpy Jerk who has somehow inexplicably charmed his way into my heart with a few gruff comments.

Tagging @princessbatears because chaos? :>

📚 My Master List 📚

Boba Fett isn’t a man of many words. It’s not that he’s shy or anything – he just doesn’t like talking to people beyond what is necessary. He has worked alone his entire life, so the sound of others’ voices just sort of grates on him. He especially does not like being crowded by people.

So, one day, while doing his thing, he ends up injured. It’s not even due to combat. His jetpack just…sputters out. His beskar’gam turns what should have been a fatal fall into a very painful one. He knows he has broken a lot of bones, but Boba refuses to die like this. He crawls his way back to his bike, calls for medical aid, and prays to the Maker that someone in town will come help him.

You are the only person who does come to help him. Most other people are too afraid of the Imperial remnants to work with a Mandalorian. Others are too afraid of Mandalorians to work with a Mandalorian. You? You are not afraid of much. He is not sure if you are brave or stupid. After splinting the worst of the damage, you get him onto the bike and get him back into town. It is at this point that Boba finds himself leaning toward thinking you are stupidly caring and trusting.

You inject him with bacta – the good kind that makes him giggly, sleepy, and numb – and get to work. When he wakes up, he’s wrapped in an annoying number of casts and splints, but at least he’s still alive. However, you then give him the bad news: the fall has damaged many of the delicate nerves in his back. If he fails to undergo physical therapy, there is a real chance he may never walk again. He’s no medical expert, but when he looks at the scans you took, he knows you aren’t lying.

So, Boba resigns himself to having to deal with you on a regular basis. The first physical therapy exercises are simple, yet they exhaust him to the point where he just passes out. As the days go by, he starts putting up the walls to keep you out. (Spoiler alert: you manage to find your way through the cracks in the wall, annoying him with barely any effort on your behalf.)

Now, under ideal circumstances, this shitshow would end with Boba Fett getting back on his feet, paying you handsomely for the amount of time you have spent getting him put together, and going back to bounty hunting, never to think of you again. But of course, the universe throws an even bigger wrench into his carefully thought-out plans. Someone finds out that you’re taking care of him and a whole bunch of angry townspeople converge on your little clinic. He grabs you and the two of you run. The last thing you see is your clinic going up in flames. (Boba can’t believe the shortsightedness of these people – they’ve driven off their only competent medical professional. What are they going to do next? Kill their only competent mechanic? Di’kute, every last one of them.)

And so, the two of you go off on a merry adventure, annoying the absolute shit out of each other on a regular basis. Boba especially is concerned at how easily you have managed to find every single weak point in his defenses – physical, mental, and emotional. You are a fair shot with your blaster, so when he got fresh with you that one time, telling you that your ass looked downright edible in the trousers you had borrowed from him, you drew your blaster and fired a shot off at his feet. He laughed so hard his bucket nearly fell off. (You are not sure if you are disturbed that he finds being shot at amusing. He does scold you a bit, but you do notice that he does not talk about your ass anymore.)

With your knife? You’re lethal, and he learns that the hard way when he fails to announce his presence behind you. One moment Boba is reaching to touch your shoulder and the next moment, he’s got your elbow in his face and your penknife embedded in his flak vest. Fortunately, the blade’s too short to cause serious damage, but he does not let you forget that you kriffing stabbed him when he was only trying to ask you what you wanted for dinner.

Even though Boba would rather cover himself in tiingilar sauce and crawl back into the sarlacc pit headfirst than ever admit it, the two of you make a damn good team. He goes off to hunt bounties, you stay in town to provide your medical services for a fair fee. Sometimes, when your services are not needed, you’ll hang back at the ship and do some basic accounting to keep him within his budget.

Boba grumbles when you ask to accompany him on a hunt, but he figures you really do need to learn how to defend yourself if anything should happen to him. When the two of you were surrounded by goons, you naturally fell into place behind him, your back to his, covering his shebs while he provides the heavy firepower. When the numbers are thinned to something more manageable, he sets you loose on them, letting you practice your knife skills. And by the Maker, he is impressed with how much you have improved since the last time you stabbed him.

Between hunts, you get his shebs back into fighting shape. Hell, he thinks he’s even better than he was before. The exercises you insist on forcing on him have made him more flexible than he was before, and his bones no longer creak first thing in the morning. One particularly hot, muggy day, you try to make him drink that vile green vegetable concoction you call a smoothie. Smooth his shebs, there are chunks in that liquefied animal feed. Sometimes he wonders if you’re trying to kill him on purpose.

(You don’t know this, but Boba has already arranged for everything in his possession, ships and banking accounts included, to be transferred to you in the event of his death. Hell, he has even started negotiating with a friendly Tribe to make sure you have a home to go to and your pick of their warriors for marriage, should you be interested. Boba justifies it this way: the last time his jetpack mutinied, he ended up several hundred thousand credits in debt to you by his estimation. By ensuring you have a safe place to go, and a family ready to welcome you, he can offset the immeasurable debt he owes you. It hurts to think of this, but Boba genuinely cannot bear the thought of you being alone in this cruel galaxy, the same way he had been when he was a child. So, if he ever does piss you off to the point where you off him in his sleep, you’ll be fine.)

You keep pushing and pushing, insisting that he needs B-vitamins or some other bantha-shit he’s sure you’ve made up for the sole purpose of annoying him. When you start going on about macronutrients and essential vitamins, Boba loses it. He tosses his cutlery down and goes stomping off toward the cockpit. You follow him, blathering on and on about the last blood panel you had pulled – HDLs, LDLs, and a whole slew of acronyms later, he loses it. Rather than snap at you, he shuts you up the only way his poor sleep-deprived brain can come up with.

Boba pushes you up against the wall, gently to avoid hurting you. You don’t seem at all phased. In fact, you start waving the paper at him as you try to draw his attention to his sodium levels. Boba leans in and presses his lips to yours. You finally stop talking, your entire body going stiff in response. He takes a moment to nibble along your lower lip before parting your lips with his, tongue probing a bit deeper in, and you still aren’t responding. Boba draws back and stares down at you. You’re wide-eyed and clearly in shock.

He leans in again. This time you respond clumsily, your hands clutching at that stupid piece of paper. He gently wrestles it out of your grasp and crumples it up. Then he tosses it over his shoulder, not caring where it lands. He cups the back of your head and deepens the kiss. Still, you’re not responding the way he wants, so he draws back.

“What, never been kissed before?” he asks.

Before he can say anything else, he realizes that that was your first kiss. While Boba has never wanted to be anyone’s First Anything, he realizes that he wants to make an exception for you. There’s no one in this entire galaxy who can annoy the shit out of him in one breath and then worry about his health in the next. You are his little baar’ur. After you have wormed your way under his plating and so selfishly made yourself a fixture in his life without his permission? Oh, no, no, you are not going anywhere.

He cuts off your stammering with another kiss. He takes this one slow, moving your hands to where he wants you to touch him – one at his nape, the other at the small of his back, right over that spot that makes his knees weak.

This time, you respond. Slowly, hesitantly, but as you grow more confident, your hands begin to stray. You worm your fingers up the back of his shirt and dig your nails into the sensitive skin there, making him gasp in pleasure. Then you dig your fingers into his long hair and tug lightly, earning a low growl from him. You freeze and stare up at him with wide eyes until he leans back in.

Fortunately, your big smart science brain learns his likes and dislikes very quickly. When he finally pulls away, he finds that he really likes what he sees – your shirt’s rumpled, your hair is sticking up, and your lips are red and swollen from his kisses. Then and there, he makes a vow to make sure you always look like a mess.

(Spoiler alert: quite a few more of your firsts happen right here in the cockpit.)

#star wars #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett x gender neutral reader #boba fett x you #first kisses #implications about first times #asks #my angle is so good to me #i love this grumpy green butthole already

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