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foli-vora · 5 months

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without you, part 2

matt murdock x f!reader

A/N: hey the title rhymes. Hi angels! Part 2 is finally here, by heavy demand! And uh... for those who thought I was gonna fix everything with this part?? No, I'm here to make it worse! Woo! (Don't hate me, I did warn you lmao). So, enjoy the angst! Hope it's worth the wait x

Summary: continuing on from Part 1 - You return after the ‘blip’. Five years is a long time, and a lot of things can happen in that time. Where does that leave you now?

Word count: somewhere in the 2.7k zone idk

Warnings: ANGST. Angst squared, if you will. Broken hearts everywhere. Broken hearted reader. Broken hearted Matty. A brief broken hearted Frank coming in for the rescue. Not a happy ending. Mentions of divorce and the religious thoughts surrounding that, the Blip and the devastation it would've caused, break ups, brief jealousy, heavy denial, anxiety, lots of crying and I just want to hold onto him forever & ever. This is unedited coz I'm lazy and like to just throw things out into the void and die like a warrior.

There’s a vicious, relentless pounding behind your temples when you finally begin to feel the darkness pulling at your mind recede. With the constant stab of pain, everything returns—the apparent lost time, the strange new world that had grown during your absence, the relationships that had also changed during those five years.

Five whole years.

It might as well have been an eternity.

Your whole life, everything you knew—gone. It doesn’t seem real, it’s just not possible, and yet here you are. Here you are in a world that still feels so familiar, and sickeningly not. Your thoughts are a vicious storm in your mind, merely intensifying the throb running along your forehead. Your system flutters between confusion, denial, mourning.

It’s enough to make you want to simply fall back into the blissful void of unconsciousness, until—

“Sweetheart?”

Matt.

Your heart still jumps at his gentle rasp, a part of you longing to just soften into his hold and cling to him like you’d done so many times before, but you can’t. He’s not—he’s not your Matt. Not anymore.

It’s hard to pull away from the fingers tracing your cheek, and when you open your eyes, they wince from the light shining through the large windows. He’s knelt on the floor beside you, a frown of concern creasing his brows as you slowly shift on weak limbs until you’re sitting upright on the leather.

You study his features through raw, hazy eyes, and it’s only now you notice the subtle changes you had missed upon your return to the apartment—the few more creases lining his face, the extra spatterings of grey strands amongst his dark tresses. His hair… it’s shorter too, now that you’re really looking. How had you not seen that? Not noticed?

Maybe it was the panic. It had to have been. You didn’t notice anything else when you ran in. Your surroundings had changed within a second, everything was all just so confusing and mad—you had just wanted him, you wanted home. Turns out, you had no home to return to. No one to return to.

There must be so many others. The pain must be immense throughout the world. Lovers returning to mere memories. Parents returning to kids left behind, now years older and practically strangers. Children returning to homes that were no longer there, lost amongst the new world and without anyone familiar around them to find comfort in. God, they must be so scared.

Matt’s hand returns to your face, the backs of his fingers testing the feel of your forehead before ever so slowly trailing away until they rest where your pulse thrums through the skin of your throat. It’s not necessary—he’d hear it across town. Maybe he’s seeking physical reassurance that you’re really here, right in front of him.

“Talk to me,” he pleads quietly, “say something, anything.”

You find nothing worth speaking. You doubt you’d even have the strength to speak with how dry and heavy your tongue feels in your mouth. His hand moves, fingers hot on your skin as he cups the underside of your jaw and this time, you don’t quite have the strength to pull away.

All you want is this.

His touch, his presence—him.

“Sweetheart, I—” he stops, head tilting ever so slightly towards the door.

You watch him stiffen, tension rolling through his shoulders as he rises from his knelt position before turning towards the door to the apartment expectantly. It takes longer for your senses to catch up, but eventually the dull thud of boots hitting the flooring outside of the apartment hits your ears—

Frank.

Where was he through all of this? Had he been left to carry on with life, trying to make sense of a world left in ruin? Or had he been washed away with the breeze, just like half the planet? Universe? You want to ask Matt, but words seem to fade away on your tongue.

He doesn’t bother knocking—he never has.

While there had been some stirrings of indifference between him and Matt after everything that happened, there was still a solid foundation of respect, which quickly extended to you the more you attempted to coax the beaten and bloodied man into your clutches for some much needed medical treatment. You were more than acquaintances, a little less than friends—just close enough for him to feel comfortable coming and going from the apartment should he have ever needed patching up.

“Apparently it’s been a while,” Frank mutters gruffly as a somewhat greeting once he’s stepped into the apartment, and you feel the same air of confusion and denial radiating from him.

He had been gone then, like you. How is he handling this? Does he feel as lost as you? As scared? You’d always thought him to be someone not exactly immune to the feeling, but at least stronger than others. As much as you feel for him, hurt for him, knowing exactly the type of thoughts and feelings that plague him, you find comfort in the fact that you weren’t alone in this.

Matt doesn’t respond, and Frank sighs tiredly, eyes flashing briefly to the side under his heavily bruised and swollen brow.

“I ain’t here to fight, Red.”

Matt’s tongue flicks over his lips and he gives a humourless huff, still not relaxing from his defensive stance. Maybe he was expecting Frank to be pissed and burst in like a raging bull with red in his vision, seeing as he and Karen had something brewing slowly between them all those years ago, but Frank doesn’t seem to be interested in any violence whatsoever.

You’re not even entirely sure what he’s here for.

“Well, Karen’s not here—”

“I know, she was with me,” Frank rumbles deeply, head tilting as he appraises Matt, “told me the happy news—congrats.”

It’s not insincere, but it’s damn near close.

His gaze moves to you.

He studies the way you sit, drawn in on yourself and cuddling your chest in an effort to hold yourself together. You can feel how raw and swollen your eyes are, and when you finally manage to tiredly lift them to meet his, Frank seems to soften.

It’s only slight, imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know his mannerisms well, but you see it.

“I was thinkin’ you might need a place, after hearin’ about—” he swallows, jaw rolling ever so slightly. He exhales sharply and shifts on his feet, “You got anywhere to go?”

He’s here for you?

Matt intervenes immediately. “She’s staying here, Frank—”

Staying here? In the apartment you used to live in? That he now lives in with another woman? Was his idea to leave you sleeping on the couch alone, while they sleep in your bed together? No, it’s not your bed anymore. It’s their bed. Their apartment.

Five years of Daredevil and regular concussions must’ve really killed some of his brain cells. Is he even still Daredevil? Maybe married life changed his perspective on his dangerous nightly habits. Maybe his perspective changed on a lot of things. Is he even the same Matt you had left behind?

Frank’s head tilts, his eyes narrowing into a scowl as they flick back to Matt. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t askin’ you—was I, Red?”

“No,” you finally rasp in reply to his earlier question before Matt could retort, voice rough and weak in your throat, “no, I don’t.”

He nods, expecting your answer. “You got a bag?”

“I don’t know if I have any things left,” you mutter, bitterly wondering where your belongings went. Storage? Donated? The trash? How long did they leave it, did Matt leave it before tossing it all away? Like you’d never even existed, like you’d never even mattered. “Do I have anything here, Matt?”

Matt baulks at the ice coating your tone, and it’s unfair. You know that. Deep down you know you’re being unfair, a part of your mind gently reminding you that you probably would’ve thought and done the same in his position should it have been reversed, but you don’t care.

The familiar bite of anger, pain, still stirs relentlessly in your system and it trumps all reason and logic.

You had a life, and now it’s in complete ruins.

What are you supposed to do with that?

Frank nods sagely, “We’ll get you some things, ain’t gotta worry about that. You comin’?”

As much as you want to reject the idea of leaving, as much as your heart screams at you to stay with Matt because he’s all you know, he’s all you have, and he was telling you how much he loved you only mere hours ago… you give a minimal nod, and shift to stand from the couch.

It wasn’t hours ago—it was five years.

Five years.

Matt instinctively steps in front of you to keep you from moving any further, his tongue darting across his lips in an apparent panic, “You’re going with him?”

“Can you give us a minute? I won’t be long,” you ask Frank quietly, aching at the way Matt’s anxiety seems to heighten at your words.

Frank gives a single nod, and then slips out, the door clicking quietly shut behind him. Matt ignores it, every sense focused in on you and the way your heart beats a broken rhythm in your chest, the way your nails pick at the cotton of your sleeves, the way fresh tears smell building on your lash line—

“I have nowhere else to go,” you mutter, body now numb to feeling and just utterly exhausted from the onslaught of emotions the day had thrust upon you. “I can’t stay here, Matt. I can’t. Seeing you two—God, it’ll kill me. I can’t do it.”

Why you? Why did it have to be you?

A part of you wishes it would’ve been Karen in your place, uncaringly and unknowingly torn from her life to leave everything she ever loved behind, only to return to a world that had survived, that had moved on without her… and you don’t even have the energy to feel guilty for such a thought yet.

It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t even Matt’s.

“Sweetheart,” Matt pleads softly, hands seeking and taking your hands tightly, “just—just tell me what to do. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

The thought is immediate—would he leave her? Could you ask that of him? Could you expect him to just drop and abandon everything he’s built during your absence?

You want to.

You want to tell him to break it off with her as soon as physically possible, to kick her out so you could be at home where you’re comfortable and with him and just act like nothing happened—

—but you can’t.

You can’t bring yourself to say the words.

What would he think of you asking a question like that? Would he even do it? You know how he feels about divorce, what his religion thinks of divorce. His whole belief system, his life, his God… would he abandon it all for you?

Looking at him now, how he physically pleads with you with those soft, lost eyes looking for guidance, you believe that maybe, just maybe, he would.

But you can’t ask that of him.

You could never, and would never, ask that of him.

Unless—

“Were you happy?” You ask softly, eyes bouncing between his where they rest just left of your face.

He blinks, a slight frown forming between his eyes in an effort to make sense of your unexpected words, “What?”

“Before I—” you take a breath, tongue rolling along your lips to moisten the sudden dry skin, “—before I just materialised back onto the street… were you happy? With your life? With her?”

Without me?

Say no.

God, please say no.

You begin to wonder why you asked. Maybe you’re a glutton for punishment, maybe you think nothing could possibly hurt any more than it already does, but when his expression falters, when his mouth opens and nothing seems to make it past his lips, you know that’s not possible.

This… this seems to hit the hardest.

He was happy.

He was happy before you came back.

He was happy without you.

And it’s… good.

It is.

Of course you don’t want him to be anything but that. He had found what he wanted from life—some normality, some peace, and it’s with that understanding that you realise you have no place here anymore. At least not with him. You have no part in his life now, and it shreds that last little untouched piece of your hopeful heart to absolute ruins.

Denial still pulls at your mind, still blatantly refuses to accept that five years had actually passed. You’d been nothing but a distant memory to him, to your friends, to the world, and yet, everything is still so vividly fresh for you. You only got out of bed, held him, kissed him, a few hours ago—a few fucking hours!

Five years.

“It’s okay,” you mutter, as his saddened eyes flutter in a panic, “I want that for you, Matt. I’ve always wanted that for you, even if that means I’m not—that we’re not—”

You ache at the thought of being apart from him, a feeling he had already experienced and endured.

“Three years,” he says quietly, brokenly, a slow gathering of tears building along his lash line, “three years I searched, I waited, I prayed… if I had known—if I had known you… I wouldn’t have—”

—moved on.

You envision Matt lost in the organised pews with dozens of other faceless mourners, on his knees and weeping into his closed hands, begging for the strength to finally let you go. He was granted it, after enduring agony for such a stretch of time, and now it’s all fallen to pieces at your return.

“It’s okay,” you repeat softly, the feeling of your heart beating in your throat choking the words, “it’s okay.”

“No,” he shakes his head, face creasing as the tears begin to make their way down his cheeks, “no, it’s not. I’ve only just gotten you back. You’re back, and now—now I—God. I can’t say goodbye. Not again. I can’t.”

“So don’t,” you say simply, a fresh build of your own tears streaking your cheeks, “we won’t say goodbye. Just… just forget. Forget I ever came back, Matt. Everything will be as it was.”

He recoils sharply, as if you physically struck him. “I can’t do that—”

“Yes, you can. You have to, we all have to.”

“No, I won’t—”

“You told me to tell you,” you croak weakly, the feel of his coarse stubble piercing the soft skin of your palm as you cradle his cheek, “you told me to tell you what to do, and that you’ll do it. Well, this is it, Matt. This is what I’m telling you to do—forget I ever came back. It’ll be easier for everyone. You can keep what you had—what you have, and I—”

And you?

What will you do?

Where will you go?

Your hand falls from his face, only for it to be snatched up and returned to its previous spot with his own pressed tightly against it to keep it there. His tears smear against your skin, the evidence of his heartbreak an obvious reminder that he never let go completely.

There’s something still held for you within him, it just wasn’t the same as when you left.

His forehead comes to rest against your own, and you weaken into the familiar comfort of his touch, just for a moment. You don’t want to let go, don’t even know if you can. There's nothing left to be said, nothing left to be worked out. This is just it.

Why does it have to be this way? Your stomach churns at the idea of walking out for good. How can you? Nothing has changed for you—everything you feel for him is right there, right there where it’s always been, and you can’t do anything with it.

You indulge in the moment a little longer, stretching out to softly press your lips to his with the bittersweet taste of a loving goodbye—one last time. You savour the feel of him, his lips, so warm, so soft and sweet and familiar—

—and then pull away, the air filling the space between you lingering with the memory of what could have been.

He lets your hand fall away this time, pained haunted eyes scrunching closed as you further the distance between you until you’re at the door to the apartment. The quiet exhale of a sob reaches your ears as you open the door, and you dare not look back at Matt falling apart as you close it softly behind you.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock imagine #daredevil fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months

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Do it for Him | There's No Escaping Him | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Jungkook shows what happens when you disrespect him. Pairing: Daughter in law reader x Father in Law Jungkook (Yändere) Word Count: 2.5k Warnings: Sex (I'm too lazy to put in specifics lmao), Explicit language and Yädere relationship a/n: Based off of a few asks so this is the origin story of that dress that Jungkook loves…

Series Masterlist

3 years ago...

"What are you doing here?" I ask holding the door open while balancing my daughter on my hip. "Hi baby how are you?" Jungkook coos and scoops her up out of my arms and ignoring me completely, walking them both over to her room with her babbling to him all the way.

I hate days like this.

Where he feels like he can just show up unannounced and act as though we're some happy family together when my husband isn't here. "What do you want?" I ask once I've come to the doorway and see Jungkook and my daughter playing around on the floor.

"I just wanted to come over and spend some time with my daughter, and spend some time with her mommy too" he says looking up at me with a devious glint in his eye. "You can spend time with her but you need to leave when you're done" I say and walk off to get some food ready for her.

I go back into her room a bit later and scoop her up off the floor and take her into the kitchen without bothering to take note of Jungkook's protests. "What are you doing?" he asks trailing behind me. "Giving her some food. She eats a snack around this time of day" I say putting her down in her high chair.

"Where's the nanny?" he asks looking around to see if he can spot her anywhere. "I gave her the afternoon off. She'll be back later" I respond and put some cut up pieces of bananas on the tray and she immediately grabs one and puts it in her mouth.

"I thought she didn't like bananas" he says, looking at her with a slightly confused expression. "Babies can try out foods and not like it the first time but then love it the second and at this point she loves bananas" I answer while gazing at her lovingly, fixing the little butterfly clip I put in her hair this morning.

"But I know you didn't just come here to talk about her though so what do you want?" I ask, turning around and facing him, an uninterested expression on my face. "I want you love" he says taking a few steps towards me and grabs ahold of my hand.

"You told me that once she was born you would leave me alone" I say ripping my hand out of his grasp and taking a few steps away from my daughter so she won't hear this conversation. She's only two but you never really know what they'll remember when they grow up.

"I changed my mind" he says following me. "That wasn't part of the deal" I say in a hushed tone, glancing back over to her before bringing my attention back to him. "What deal angel? To my knowledge we haven't written up anything that states I have to abide by any rules" he says playfully. "Jungkook stop, we've already been through this once and it shouldn't have happened in the first place" I say trying to get him to come to his senses.

"Once wasn't enough for me love. There are so many things that I've been wanting to do to you ever since our last time together. I've tried to hold back but I can't anymore" he says trying to come closer but I make sure to maintain a good distance between us which leaves him stopping in his tracks.

"You're going to have to hold back because I'm not yours and you don't get to waltz up into my home and expect me to give into you just because you 'want me'. I never wanted to see you again after what we did but I have to tolerate you to keep up appearances. I'm sorry if I've made you think otherwise but that isn't going to happen again" I finish and make moves to walk back to my daughter.

"You sure about that?" he asks leaving me now halting my movements, knowing what that tone of voice means. "I'm sure my son would hate to come home with the task of having to file for a divorce after being gone for such a long time. Leaving you with absolutely nothing and taking our daughter away from you" he taunts making known that he's trapped me and I can't do anything to defend myself.

"You wouldn't dare" I say turning back around to face him, my eyes prickling with tears, now knowing the true consequence of my actions have only just begun.

"I'll text you the address. Tell the nanny you're going out for the night and you won't be back until tomorrow. Oh, you'll be receiving a package in an hour or so. Wear that" he finishes and goes up to my daughter and coos at her a bit, telling her goodbye and placing a kiss on the top of her head before walking back over to me to kiss me but I turn my face to the side leaving him placing a kiss on my cheek instead.

"See you tonight" he whispers in my ear, his breath fanning over my neck and places a kiss on it before leaving. "Bye angel" he says, his lips still ghosting against is.

"Leave" I say pushing him away but he doesn't budge in the slightest leaving me having to walk away first and going back to check on her.

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and slowly makes his way over toward the door, closing it silently behind him.

"What am I going to do?" I question and watch as my daughter plays around with the leftover food in her tray before picking her up and holding her close while unshed tears start streaming down my face.

~~~~~

Walking into the lobby donning a trench coat to cover up the ridiculous outfit Jungkook had gotten me I walk towards the elevators and press the number for the designated floor, seeing that he's booked the penthouse suite.

As the doors open I walk out and look around to see if I can find him but at first glance it seems as if he's nowhere to be found.

"You're early" he whispers in my ear making me jump and place my hand over my chest.

He brings a glass of wine around for me to grab and I accept it willingly, knowing I'm going to need every bit of it to help keep my anger at bay.

"I figured it was best to not keep you waiting" I say after taking a large gulp of my wine. "Slow down angel, we've got all night" he says refilling my glass nonetheless. "I would prefer if we got whatever you wanted over with as soon as possible" I say, walking around, trying to figure out where a bedroom might be in this place.

"Oh we're not using the bedroom tonight" he says taking hold of my wrist. "What do you mean?" I ask, knowing he has something else in mind but wanting him to voice it so I can mentally prepare myself.

"Why don't you take that coat off for me so I can see how pretty you look" he say and takes a few steps back so he can take in my full form.

I take a deep breath and open it little by little, hating the lust in his eyes that continues to darken with every growing inch of bare skin he sees.

Dropping the coat and letting it pool around my feet he's left with the sight of me in a scantily clad silk dress that leaves little to the imagination.

"Just as I thought, you're even more gorgeous with the figure you've developed from giving birth to our daughter" he says walking over to me and taking notice of my wider hips and larger breasts. "Just stop talking" I say and decide to close the distance between us and pull him in, hating this waiting game.

He kisses me immediately and sets a faster pace, making me let out a little moan, surprised by the passion he has behind it. He holds my jaw in place and keeps our lips locked leaving me having to push him away to come up for air.

"I've missed this" he says pulling me closer to him, kissing me and walking us over to the kitchen.

He lifts me up and has me sit down on the cold counter making me take in a sharp breath at the contact. "I've been dreaming about fucking you on this counter as soon as you walked in" he growls not bothering to give me a chance to respond and instead opting to run his hand along my upper thigh and brushes his finger against my core.

"You're so obedient showing up here in this dress and now I find out that you have nothing underneath it. Look" he says pulling his fingers away, clearly wet with my arousal. "Seems like your body wants to obey me as well" I glare at him and he decides to stop talking and instead ops to get on his knees and pulls me closer to the edge of the counter.

"I've been wanting to taste you all day and it seems like this pretty little cunt wants the same thing" he says watching as I clench around nothing. He blows on it making me close my legs from the sensation of the cool air but he pulls them apart even wider than they had been before.

"Not so fast pretty. You can't run away from me already when we haven't even started" he taunts and starts to place kisses on my inner thigh, sucking a bit in an effort to leave a mark. "Don't" I say but my breath quickly hitches once he licks a long strip along my center making me automatically grab his hair to keep him close on impulse.

"No marks I know, I couldn't resist. Trust it will fade before he gets back" he says placing a kiss on the small mark he had made before going back in, making my breath hitch. "Lean back a bit" he says, getting me at a better angle so he has more access. "Good girl" he says rubbing his nose against my clit.

I push him closer needing more and he chuckles at my reaction. "Look at you, so needy yet you always swear that you don't want me". Standing up he starts to loosen his belt and take off his slacks bringing me closer to the edge again and runs him finger all along my cunt to gather up some of my arousal and uses it while he pumps himself a few times before trying to put it in.

"Stop" I say before he has a chance to get any closer. "I'm not having another baby with you" I say looking up at him, waiting to catch his gaze. He takes a deep breath and fishes his wallet out to find a condom and holds it between two fingers. "Happy?" he says and rolls his eyes while opening the packet.

"I would be happier if I was at home with my daughter instead of here fucking my father in law so no, I'm not happy" I say, voicing my true feelings. "You really shouldn't have said that" he chuckles under his breath before lining himself up and shoving himself inside of me.

"Fuck!" I groan out, caught off by the burn of not being prepped. "Stop being such a fucking brat and enjoy it angel. No one is watching so there's no need to keep up appearances with me" he says brushing away one of the tears that had fell from the pain.

"I'm not keeping up appearances with you because I fucking despise you" I say trying to breath through this so I can get my body to loosen up. It's no use though since he decides to pull almost all the way out and shoves back inside me.

"I thought I told you to watch your mouth. If you want to act like a brat then I can fuck you like a brat. All. Night. Long" he threatens, punctuating every word with a harsh thrust to prove his point.

I decide not to respond so I can end this pain soon and receive the pleasure he loves to give me since that's the only thing I get out of this. "Staying quiet will do you no good either, you know better than that" he says making soft eye contact with me before kissing me softly, giving me a false sense of security before he starts thrusting into me at a rough pace.

"You'll speak when spoken to you understand?" he says and pulls me off the counter and wraps my leg around his waist before leaning my back against the wall and fucking at a different angle making me moan out at the intensity. "Yes" I choke out, feeling overwhelmed by the pace of his thrusts and his demeanor that is a new side to him I haven't seen.

He shows me no mercy that night, fucking me on the table, on the couch, on the coffee table and anywhere else he could possibly think of until my body is spent.

"You learned your lesson?" he says after pulling out for the last time and dragging his finger up and down my slit, not letting up on the overstimulating. "Yes, fuck. Please stop" I beg through sobs and thankfully he ends this torture that felt never ending.

"Get some rest Angel, I'll see you again soon" he says after leaving me lying on the ground as that was the last place we finished.

Once he's all dressed again he takes the room card in between two fingers just like he had done with the condom before and places it on the kitchen counter. "Don't worry about checking out in the morning. I booked the room for two nights so leave whenever you're ready" he finishes and walks out and into the elevator without bothering to give me a second glance.

After taking a few deep breaths to calm my rapid heart beat I get up and limp over to the bathroom, turning on the shower and sitting with my back facing the stream of hot water pelting against my skin.

Letting myself fall apart I'm left sobbing and curled up in a ball.' How can he be this cruel? Why can't he just leave me alone? I don't understand why he keeps on doing this to me.' Those are the thoughts that plague my mind as I try to regain some sense of reality.

My reality is a nightmare and there's no way I'm making it out of this dream without hurting everyone. I don't think I'm strong enough to see the look on their faces and I'm not sure if I ever will be. I need to do what's best for my family and at this point with the way he's acting there's no way out...

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misc-obeyme · 8 months

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Oh damn if I'm not too late, maybe "I just wanted to make sure you're okay." with Levi?

Hello, anon!

Okay, this one ended up being hurt/comfort. I almost wrote the whole thing without including the dialogue prompt, too. But I realized I hadn't used it yet while I was writing the part where I did end up using it lol. So it was easy enough to fix that.

As always, Levi's anxiety and low self esteem hits close to home for me and that always makes him a liiiittle hard to write for. BUT I feel like I'm getting the hang of it maybe. I had less of an issue with this one than I did with his daily chat scene, anyway.

Thanks for participating!

1,000 Followers Event!

GN!MC x Leviathan with prompt "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Warnings: hurt/comfort, the usual Levi anxiety and such, brief appearances and mentions of the other brothers

Everybody knew that you were close with Leviathan. The other brothers never said it, but it was clear from the way they looked at the two of you, always together, always talking animatedly about your shared interests. Everyone noticed the amount of time you spent in Levi's room, watching anime and playing video games. Even Lotan seemed fond of you.

Levi was the only one who didn't quite realize the special bond you had. Not because he didn't notice how often you were with him, but because he simply couldn't believe that you would be interested in someone like him. There must be some other reason why you were always hanging around him. It was probably because video games and anime reminded you of the human world where you had enjoyed such interests before you were brought to the Devildom.

Levi easily explained away the things you did that didn't fit this narrative. He told himself he was imagining things when you smiled brightly any time he entered the room. He convinced himself that he was just the closest person any time you turned to him when you needed something.

Every day, he talked himself out of the idea that you might just like him for himself. Levi just couldn't wrap his head around that at all.

A few of his brothers tried to clue him in, but Levi came up with excuses for everything they said, too. Most of them gave up, but they were all equally annoyed at the way he seemed determined not to see your true feelings.

The truth was that Levi was too scared to confront you about it. It was just so much easier to pretend it wasn't happening. Especially since you hadn't actually told anyone that you felt anything for him beyond the casual friendship he kept believing your relationship was. What if everybody was wrong, like he suspected they were? He couldn't handle your rejection. It was too much to even think about it.

And yet things couldn't continue this way and everything changed one lazy afternoon. Everyone was at the House of Lamentation since it was the weekend. Lucifer was holed up in his office doing paperwork and Beel was no doubt in the kitchen, but everyone else was in the common room, doing various activities.

Even Levi was out of his room, though he was still playing a handheld video game. You were sitting beside him, watching over his shoulder. This was a fairly normal activity for the two of you. You both enjoyed watching the other person play and after a while, Levi would hand the game over to you so he could watch for a bit.

Asmo was sitting at the table bedazzling a new bag he had bought recently and Mammon was on the other side of you, scrolling through his D.D.D.

Across from where you and Levi sat, Satan and Belphie were in discussion about their latest idea for pranking Lucifer.

Satan was holding open a book of spells. "If I'm interpreting this correctly, it will cause the person it hits to state their deepest secret out loud."

"LMAO," Levi said from where he was listening in. "Do you really think a curse like that would work on Lucifer?"

"If we're sneaky enough and he doesn't see it coming, it might," Belphie said.

Levi handed you the video game so you could start playing. "You guys aren't sneaky enough to pull that off."

"We should probably test it," Satan said, still looking at the book. "I wouldn't want to successfully hit Lucifer with a curse only to find out it doesn't work as we thought."

Before anyone could do or say anything else, Satan recited the spell. It hit Levi squarely in the chest.

Levi fell back into the couch with a thud. "Even though everybody thinks MC likes me, I know they only hang out with me because my interests remind them of home!"

The silence that filled the room was broken only by the slap of Levi clapping his hands over his mouth and the cutesy music coming from the handheld device that had gone limp in your hands.

"Well, now we know it works," Belphie said mildly.

You looked at Levi, but he couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze. "Do you really think that?" you asked, the pain evident in your voice.

Levi wasn't sure what to say. If he denied it, you would know he was lying, but if he said yes…

He couldn't look at you and he couldn't say anything and he couldn't move. All he could do was sit there with his hands covering his mouth, his eyes squeezed shut.

Levi heard the sound of you putting the video game down on the table. He could hear you getting up from the sofa, heard the hitch in your breath as though you were trying to hold back your tears. Levi heard when you left the room, closing the door behind you.

"They're gone," Mammon said.

Levi opened his eyes and slowly lowered his hands.

"You're not really going to just let them go like that, are you?" Asmo asked.

Levi glared at him for a moment, then glared at Satan. "Why would you do that?"

Satan blinked. "I had no idea you would say that. I thought for certain you would say something about your favorite anime character. It seemed safe enough."

"Ya better go after 'em, Levi," Mammon said.

Levi considered this. They were right, of course. He couldn't just let you go. He had to go after you. He had to tell you why he continued to force himself to believe something that deep down he knew wasn't true. It was going to be the most terrifying thing he had ever done, but he had to do it. Not for himself. For you. The pain he had heard in your voice was more than enough motivation to help him overcome the fear of facing you.

Levi didn't say anything to his brothers. He simply stood up from the couch and went to look for you.

The first place Levi went was your room, but you weren't there. He poked his head into Lucifer's office only to receive a glare from Lucifer himself. You weren't there, either. He found Beel in the kitchen, but you were still nowhere to be seen. He checked the music room, the planetarium, the living room, the attic, even his brothers' rooms. Where else could you have gone? Did you leave the house all together? He checked the garden, but you weren't there, either. Perhaps you went to Purgatory Hall? Or the Demon Lord's Castle? Or somewhere else entirely?

Levi sighed. If he was going to leave the house to look for you, he wanted to be prepared. So he went to his room to grab a few things.

Levi opened the door to his bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks.

There you were, sitting in his bathtub, hugging yourself and looking miserable.

"MC?" he asked, too surprised to see you to do anything else.

You looked up at him and frowned. "What are you doing here?"

Levi blinked. "This is my room."

You looked around the room as though you were surprised to find yourself there. "Oh. Right."

"I was looking for you everywhere," Levi said. "I searched the whole house. Were you here the whole time?"

You didn't answer him, only ducked your head down and hugged yourself harder, your knees pulled up as you slumped down in his tub.

Levi closed the door to his room. He sat down on the floor next to the tub and looked down at his hands. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

When you didn't say anything, Levi began to ramble. "It's just that you're so cool and I'm so lame and I couldn't believe that you would actually like me just because I'm me and I knew it wasn't like that really, but it was too scary to think-"

"Levi."

Levi stopped talking and looked up at you. Your gaze was on the far wall.

"I came to your room instead of going to mine because this is where I feel safe," you said. "I feel safe when I'm here with you. And it isn't because of the anime or the video games or any of that. It's because of you. I thought you knew that."

"I did!" Levi insisted, then corrected himself. "I do. I do know it, MC."

You looked at him then, reaching a hand over the top of the tub, offering it to him. "Just get in here and hug me, won't you?"

Levi stood up immediately, grabbing your hand and climbing into the tub with you. You didn't even hesitate, collapsing forward into him, wrapping your arms around his torso, resting your head on his chest.

Levi felt himself blush profusely, but he didn't say anything or try to pull away. Instead he just returned your embrace, holding you close in his arms.

"I like you, Levi," you said, your face pressed into his chest.

Levi's blush deepened, but he powered through it. "I… I-I like you, too, MC."

Even though Levi's anxiety was sky high, even though he was still nervous to be this close to you, he was also the happiest he had ever been in his life. Holding you close like that, hearing you say that you liked him, being able to say it back, everything about these moments filled him with a joy he'd never known. He vowed to never hurt you again, to only ever tell you how he really felt, what he really meant. He vowed not to let his own insecurity get in the way of the truth of your heart.

1,000 Followers Event | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me fanfiction #obey me fanfic #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me leviathan x mc #obey me levi x reader #obey me levi x mc #leviathan x reader #leviathan x mc #misc 1k event #misc writes

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lovinbarzal · 1 year

Text

THE GREAT WAR

kacey dutton x fem! reader

summary: kacey always told y/n he only had eyes for her so what happens when he comes to the ranch only to announce he got another girl pregnant?

warnings: angsty, not very happy ending?, not kayce endgame sorry ://, ab4se, and john dutton

i'm not a huge fan of this lmao but enjoy ig

i also just realized i spelt kayce wrong but i'm too lazy to fix it sorry 😞

masterlist

Y/n and Kacey had gotten into a fight which caused Kacey to storm out.

He was gone for exactly 2 weeks before he arrived back home. Y/n had just gotten back from riding around the mountains.

"Kacey!" She jumped off the horse and bolted for him. She jumped onto him and held him close to her but was quick to notice that he didn't return the hug.

"Are you ok?" She questioned running a hand down his chest. His eyes softened.

"We need to talk." He said as Y/n furrowed her brows. The two walked into the house since no one was currently home.

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

"Darling, I'm sorry." He said as she shook her head and paced.

"You slept with another girl, got her pregnant, and all you can say is sorry!" Y/n screamed as tears pricked her eyes.

"I was upset about our fight so I got drunk and it just happened." Kacey explained but Y/n was already upset.

"Fuck that! I cried about you! I was worried about you and where were you? Fucking another girl!" She yelled as John and Beth walked in.

"Who got who pregnant?" John asked taking his hat and coat off.

"Your son, sir." Y/n said calmly while crossing her arms. John thought of Y/n as one of his daughters since he was best friends with her Dad before he passed.

John didn't say anything. He walked up to Kacey and punched him square in the face. Y/n looked down and grimaced. It wasn't unusual for John to hit his sons and she knew better then to interfere.

"You know better, Kacey. Get out!" John yelled and Kacey scrambled to his feet before running out.

"I'm sorry, dear." He said placing a kiss on her forehead before walking upstairs. Beth was long gone probably with Rip so it was just her.

She walked outside to see if Kacey had left. He hadn't. He was sitting on the porch with his heads in his hands.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think he would hit you." She said sitting next to him.

"It's not your fault. I'm gonna go. He doesn't want me here and I don't think you do either." He said standing, hoping that Y/n would argue and say she wanted him there.

She stood and walked back into the house.

That was the night I nearly lost you, I really thought I lost you

Years later...

Kacey never thought he would see Y/n so when he saw her attempting to train the horse he found, he was shocked.

"Fuck." He mumbled seeing her fall off the horse. He ran to her, with Tate following, as she layed in the same spot.

She was fine. She justed wanted to take a break for a second.

"You ok?" She heard from a voice she knew all to well.

"Peachy." She said sitting up. She got back on the horse and started slow. She didn't notice the kid with him.

"What are you doing here?" Y/n asked as she went in circles slowly.

"Came to see my dad, have you seen him?" She laughed.

"He's probably in the house." She said leading the horse to the barn. She jumped off and took the saddle off the horse. She turned around and saw Kacey with his son.

"You must be Tate." She said bending down to his height as the boy nodded shyly.

"I'm Y/n." She said tipping her hat in his direction.

"You look like you would make a fine cowboy." She said standing up.

"I'm an Indian." He said and she raised a brow.

"Cute kid." She said directed to Kacey who looked down.

"Y/n!" Someone called as they walked out of the barn. Ryan turned the corner with a smile.

"The boys are wondering if you wanted to play poker with us." Ryan asked with a smile which made her smile.

"I would love to but Lee asked if I could go riding with him, Jamie, and John. But I'll swing by later and kick all of your asses." She said crossung her arms. Ryan shook his head with a smile before running back to the bunks.

"You and Ryan?" Kacey asked as she shrugged.

"Fuck no. He's my best friend." She said as the three walked back to the house.

"Monica left me." He said walking towards the bunks.

"You must be husband of the year." Y/n said walking next to him.

"I wasn't boyfriend of the year either." He said as she laughed lightly.

"You sure as hell weren't." She said as the two reached the Bunkhouse.

"Well, goodnight, Kayce." She said turning to walk away.

Kayce wanted nothing more then to kiss her but he couldn't. She wasn't his anymore. She was her own person.

She wasn't his girl.

#yellowstone #luke grimes #Spotify #kayce dutton x reader #kayce dutton #lovinbarzal writings

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robinsno1lesbian · 11 months

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒 - 𝐑.𝐁. & 𝐍.𝐖.

you had a speech, you're speechless love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

nancy wheeler x robin buckley

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: years after what happened in hawkins, nancy and robin meet again and things take a different turn from what they'd expected

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜��𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4663

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), porn with plot & feelings lmao, mild angst, implied cheating, mention of alcohol, vaginal fingering, oral sex (as always let me know if i missed anything!)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 1 year of ronance?? one thing: i wrote this on ao3 at first but when i was about to post it, they messed up the entire format. i sort of fixed it (took HOURS) but it might still look a bit odd?? idk just ignore that part i'm too lazy to fix it right now, it's almost midnight lmao! <3

when robin first saw her standing in the doorway, her heart dropped. not because she wasn't happy to see her because, god she was, but because it felt like seeing a ghost. a person from her past she would've never expected. especially not now, in the middle of a rainy july night she had planned on spending all alone on her couch.

nancy wheeler doesn't look like a ghost though, she looks so very real. her hair has grown much longer than robin has ever seen it and her face has changed too. she seems so much older but in all the right ways. in the ways, robin knows from whenever she looks in the mirror herself. they aren't kids anymore though that's just about how long it must have been since she last saw her.

she is dripping, summer rain drenching her clothes and soaking her hair. she's got her arms wrapped around herself, light blue eyes widened in surprise as if she wasn't expecting robin to actually open the door. strange, robin thinks, considering that she quite literally came to her apartment. but any of this, any thoughts and doubts vanish the second nancy speaks. it's just one word, but hearing the sound of her voice again is enough for her to feel an odd sense of comfort.

"robin-" she says, her facial expression something robin can't wrap her head around. she has half a smile on her lips and yet her eyes betray her. they're somehow scared as if she fears robin would send her away again. they hold a bit of surprise too that probably comes from the fact that this is her first time seeing robin too.

and just like that she stands there, in the hallway of robin's house, leaving a trail of waterdrops behind and smiling in a way that immediately captures the other woman's heart, even after years that have passed. as if she was never truly gone.

"nance..." robin mumbles, her raspy voice cracking when the nickname falls from her lips. "what- god what are you going here? i mean- i- god" she shakes head and steps all the way out of her apartment and into nancy's space. she can't even help herself but wrap her arms around the other girl's body and pull her into a hug. she can hear her gasps and loosens her hug for just a second, afraid that she has made a mistake, but nancy holds her in place and returns the hug with a soft "oh".

she can feel her wet clothes soaking the fabric of her own but she doesn't care. she doesn't care about anything but the fact that nancy is here, with her.

"oh my god" she mumbles and leans back, palms still holding her by the shoulders to look at her from up close "oh my god".

nancy chuckles, her smile spreading across her whole face. she seems relieved.

"you should-" she turns around to give a quick glance into her apartment. thank god she chose to clean up earlier. "you should come inside" ──────────────────

robin's couch bounces slightly under their weight as both women drop down onto it: nancy wearing a skirt and blouse that haven't gotten as wet due to her coat and robin with a bottle of wine and two glasses that she fills up for them.

she isn't sure when or why she has gotten this bottle, considering that she was never really a wine type of woman. but this seems like the right occasion or a least she hopes so.

it's not like she never really knew much about that either. she feels unusually exposed like this, well aware of nancy's eyes on her as she hands her the glass.

"so.." robin finally finds her voice "what brings you here?"

nancy takes a sip from her glass before she answers and robin's eyes immediately fall upon her jaw and the way it moves as she swallows the liquid. she drags her eyes away from it when nancy puts the glass down.

"steve gave me the address" she begins. "i was in town and...i didn't know where else to go"

"hold on" robin furrows her brows. "why are you in town?"

nancy inhales slowly. "i mean...i wanted to see you...i think...i- i kept thinking about you and i didn't have anything else to do"

robin wants to be surprised, wants to ask a million questions but how could she when nancy said that she wanted to see her ? that she kept thinking about her ? these words have her heart racing in her chest in excitement. the kind of excitement that reminds her of her youth and of all the times she had spent loving nancy. from afar at first and then from up close too, though no one ever knew about that.

it was their little secret, the one thing they had and shared in times when everything else had been ripped from them.

it was not what they should have done, robin knows that and she knows nancy knows too. it was tragic and heartbreaking and yet it was beautiful for as long as it lasted. and then, from one day to the other, it had all been gone.

"how long has it been?" nancy asks and tilts her head.

she looks beautiful like this, robin thinks, with her knees drawn to her body while she has an arm propped up up the armrest. she looks older, too; her hair has grown longer and her eyes seem to be less...tired? or exhausted, maybe?

either way, robin knows what must've caused this; the sleepless nights that followed the events of 1986 had left a mark on all of them. that seems to be gone now, though. or at least a lot less present.

robin wonders if nancy still falls asleep to the sound of jonathan's breathing. if they're still as strong as they were at 18. but she can't bring herself to ask that. she can't bare to hear the truth about the nights they had spent together back then.

although she can imagine it perfectly fine: "we were children robin" nancy would say, nipping on her glass of wine occasionally. "we didn't know what we were doing. it meant nothing". only the voice of imaginary nancy in her head makes her heart drop. it didn't mean nothing to her. of course not.

but nancy had jonathan, chose jonathan. even after the nights they had spent nuzzled up against one another beneath the weight of the blanket, telling stories about the things they would do once all of this would be over.

years have passed ever since. years of occasional calls, questions about life but always avoiding those topics. years of telling each other they would meet again soon and somehow they never did. robin wonders what changed.

"i'm not sure i want to know, actually" robin chuckles. "too long, that's for sure" "yeah" nancy nods, her gaze lingering on the coffee table absentmindedly for a split second. "too long"

she turns the wine glass in her hands before she finally speaks: "so, robin buckley" her head turns to look at her, her deep blue eyes sending shivers down robin's spine.

"how have you been here?"

"oh you know-" robin shrugs. "getting around...i have a pretty solid job, an apartment i like..."

"is-" nancy cuts herself off for a second, as if she's reconsidering her words, before she does speak "is there anyone?"

"oh" she blushes slightly, praying that it is dark enough to conceal the soft shade of red of her cheeks. "no...i mean, i guess there have been women but...it never felt right"

never felt right with anyone but you, is what robin means to say. she wants to scream it, at the top of her lungs, like she should've done when nancy left hawkins. maybe if she would've done so, things would be different now.

"what about you?" she asks instead, chewing the insides of her cheeks nervously.

the sight of this makes nancy chuckle to herself; years have gone by and this is still robin. all grown up now, long curls held out of her face with a hair claw so that her freckled skin is on full display. but it's still her: the tall girl who reached for her hand in the upside down, who held her when no one else did, who put bandages to the wound that have scarred now but are still a permanent reminder of who they are. who had always been so unapologetically herself.

"it's...difficult" she answers, drowning the last bits of wine in one gulp to give her the strength to go on. "jonathan and i we- well we were engaged as you know-"

the words are enough for her to internally flinch. she does know. she remembers the day she got the letter, inviting her to their 'engagement party' in big, loopy letters. it all seemed so final then. not like it hadn't already felt final before, but this seemed to be it.

"yeah" she nods.

"but that kind of...didn't work as we had planned" nancy looks down at her hands, at the spot where the engagement ring used to sit -tying her to a person whom she could never love the way he deserved it.

robin's gaze follows her, eyes widening slightly when she finds the spot empty. "what happened?"

"i don't think our visions of a future matched the way we thought they would. he had all those dreams and...i knew i couldn't give him that"

she nods along to her words softly.

"when did you...?"

"it's been a little while" nancy explains and puts the glass on the coffee table. "it's fine we don't- let's not talk about him right now okay?"

she knows robin deserves the truth. probably the most out of all people. but nancy is also well aware that this truth, her truth, could ruin them more than life already has. and she isn't ready to lose robin.

"of course, of course" robin agrees. "whatever you prefer it's just..."

she reaches out softly and ever so slowly until her hand reaches nancy's. their fingers link in an instant and for a split second, they're in the upside down again, darkness all around while creatures of terror are screeching in the distance. they're both 18 once more, secretly head over heels for the other while knowing they could not be.

just like all these years ago, skin meets skin and all the worries in this world become white noise to their feelings.

nancy blinks and her eyes find robin's. they're 26 again, in a beautiful apartment that is more robin than anything imaginable. times have changed, they have too.

"you got this" she whispers, just like nancy once did. "and even if you don't, i got you"

a soft smile creeps upon her features, softening the sharp edges of her face that she never grew out of. robin is happy she didn't. she has always been the most beautiful woman robin has ever laid her eyes on and yet mid-20s look good on nancy, probably even better than 18.

"maybe i should have stayed" nancy mumbles. "robin did i...did i make the wrong choice?"

she clears her throat, slightly taken aback by the answer. her younger-self would have yelled now. she would have yelled and screamed and cried about how she did make the wrong choice and how she broke her heart by leaving.

but she has grown.

nancy hadn't been ready, unlike herself. it had been unfair, but that's the way it was then. robin had sworn herself she wouldn't waste her time waiting for a woman that had chosen her own way.

now she knows that she has waited all along.

"you didn't, you- you weren't ready nancy" she explains. "this couldn't have worked like this"

nancy tilts her head and gives her a look that tells her just how thankful she is. she also leans in a lot closer than she did before. but maybe robin is imagining that part.

"is there still time...?" she breathes. oh she's definitely not imagining that. she can feel nancy's breath on her face. "can i- god, please let me fix this"

and then she closes the little distance that is left between them.

her lips feel softer than they did back then. she must've dropped the anxious habit of chewing on them. but robin doesn't care about that right now, and pushes the thought away for another time.because nancy, her nancy, is kissing her again.

it's been years of longing for the taste of those lips and yet robin remembers. robin remembers everything.

they still feel like flying on clouds and taste like the summer of '86. their mouths meet softly at first, testing long-forgotten waters. they're a long series of pressing carefully and giving in for the silent plead. that's until nancy's part slightly and robin can't help but follow suit immediately.

nancy allows robin to take control over the kiss, unlike she had done back when they first kiss.

the sensation of tongues sliding against each other has her head spinning too much to remain in control over anything.

robin wastes no time in pulling them up, her lips never leaving nancy's as they move through the apartment in a haze.

"h-how do you- i mean- is this-" robin curses herself for this damn rambling that comes up at the most inconvenient of all times. the other woman doesn't mind though. she just smiles.

"your bedroom, robin" she whispers.

"oh, yeah...yeah right" robin says, biting her lip.

that same smile is still plastered over nancy's face when she mumbles a sweet invitation of "come here" and wraps her arms around her again.

they stumble down the hallway of the apartment, occasionally walking against corners and walls without breaking their kiss. there is a trail of clothing following them on the wooden floor, a sweater, a blouse, and a tank top lining up until where they're standing. nancy chuckles against her lips as the taller woman struggles to find the doorknob behind her, all while she is getting pressed against it by her. once she figures it out, robin wastes no time in pulling nancy inside. suddenly very self-conscious, she stands in front of her, finally allowing robin to take in the beautiful sight in front of her.

she is standing right in front of robin the woman who she loved all these years ago. who she still loves, if she's being honest. but this is probably not the time for this conversation, nancy decides. not when she's wearing nothing but a lacy bra and her jeans still, just waiting for robin to undress her.

"you're- you're so beautiful, nancy" robin whispers, her eyes glued to her body. there's no shame in her shameless gaping. for the first time, she can actually do so without feeling utterly ashamed. and she's making some good use of that. blush creeps up her chest and robin's lips curl into a smile.

"you're beautiful too" nancy returns and steps into her space. robin is wearing a rather decent, black bra, but god it looks good. she reaches out, her palm meeting robin's upper arm just beneath her shoulder. neither of them speaks, heavy breathing the only proper noise they can manage as she runs her hand upwards softly. over the outstanding collarbones, the hundreds of freckles she has counted more times than she cares to admit, over the soft flesh of her pulse point, until her fingers wrap around the back of her neck.

robin has moved her hands down to settle on nancy's waist and, just like that, she pulls her in. they lean in slowly, slower than they've ever done it before. seizing every second they can get of this.

it is nancy who eventually closes the distance by pulling robin towards her with her hand on her neck.

their moths meet parted, hot breaths past each other's lips while they press their foreheads together.

"i want you" nancy mumbles and is rewarded by robin's mouth pressing against hers. their tongues slide together within seconds. they move together softly at first, taking their time to explore each other's mouths. but when robin sucks nancy's bottom lip into her mouth and nancy audibly gasps at the feeling, the last bits of remaining ice is broken.

this is also all it takes for the kisses to reach new heights, hands roaming freely while they're still hooked to the other's lips. eventually, though, robin breaks the kiss. nancy is about to complain, at least that's until robin's lips attach to her neck and her parted lips -prepared to let out a complaint- open wider to let out a sinful gasp, followed by "oh Robin".

her mouth is doing some absolute magic work on her neck that has her legs shaking and leaves her with no other choice but to hold on to the back of her head and pray that she won't stop anytime soon. robin isn't planning on stopping, of course. this, the feeling of nancy's fingers curling up in her hair, her racing pulse beneath her lips, her soft moans like fuel to the fire that's burning within her, it's all so much. it's pure bliss. it's not nearly enough.

as her tongue licks a long stripe up nancy's neck, her fingers find her nipples through the thin lace of her bra. nancy mumbles some incoherent words of how she needs it off of her but robin gets the hint and reaches around her body, unclasps it with surprising ease that has nancy wondering just how many women robin has been with since her, and let's gravity do the rest of the work as it drops to the floor.

nancy's eyes meet hers and she feels almost shy now, with robin still in her underwear while she has been stripped out of her own. that can be changed though, she realizes, and steps forward to get robin into an equal state of undressing.

robin chuckles to see how eager nancy seems to be to ger her naked but doesn't mind one bit. she guides the other woman to the bed, where she sits down on the edge of the mattress before pulling nancy onto her lap.

her fingers run over her cheeks, cupping her face in her soft hands while she looks down at her through the dim light.

"i missed this" she whispers quietly, so quietly robin isn't even sure she was supposed to hear it. her voice is layered with so many emotions but nancy wheeler is not gonna get emotional about sex. yet the image of robin is enough for her to start crying if she just focused on that for long enough. "i missed you".

"i missed you too, nance" robin replies. her voice is as raspy as it ever was, like music to nancy's ears.

"please touch me!"

and so she does. she brings her lips to her chest and kisses all over her skin. nancy leans her head back immediately, her eyes fluttering shut at the heavenly sensation of finally having her mouth on her body again. she still has a hand behind her head and guides her softly, giving her a suggestive tug of her hair, closer to her hardened nipples. robin understands within seconds and wraps her lips around them before sucking softly. her eyes meet nancy's as she does so and she is delighted to see that nancy's lips have parted and she is panting at the new feeling.

"oh god...yes!"

her lips begin trailing further downward after a bit more of this, further and further, as far as their current position allows it. at the same time, she has both of her palms on nancy's back to hold her close.

"beautiful" she whispers. "so beautiful...so pretty..."

then, when nancy least expects it, she spins them around so that she has her laying beneath herself. nancy lets out a noise of surprise that turns into sweet laughter once she realizes what robin is up to.

she watches her with curious eyes as the other woman props herself up over her with both of her arms. it gives her just the right amount of space between their bodies to wrap her arms around her body and, with a questioning tilt of her head that robin confirms with a nod, take off her bra too. once she has loosened it, she allows the fabric to slide down her body.

her fingers dance over robin's ribcage faintly, feeling the swell of scars that she carries from the battle in hawkins still. she hopes that each line of her fingerprints might help them heal.

robin's breathing is labored when nancy's hands find her breasts and she gives them both a gentle, careful squeeze.

"holy shit nance-" her voice is richly layered with want for the girl beneath her and carries little cracks with it that shoot right down to nancy's center.

she leans down again, kissing her already swollen lips. she would probably allow nancy to play with her tits for hours -maybe one day she will actually ask her to do so, assuming that this is more than a one-time thing- but she wants her, needs her. nancy sucks on her tongue and robin groans audibly, a noise from deep inside her throat. finally, her lips move downwards again, except that this time their position is not an obstacle for that. she kisses her way down, until she is laying between nancy's legs, her fingers hooked around the waistband of her skirt. she lookes up at her and mumbles "can i?"

"please" nancy nods. "please"

robin pulls down both her underwear and the skirt and brings it all the way down her long legs before throwing it over her shoulder absentmindedly. she keeps looking right into nancy's eyes though, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by gaping at her pussy. nancy wouldn't mind though, if anything, she would greatly appreciate it if robin finally gave her the attention she wants.

she spreads her legs even wider and finally, robin's eyes wander lower. she visibly licks her lips and inhales sharply at the sight in front of her:

nancy is wet. she's so wet and wanting for her.

she fights back the internal urge to press her thighs together, because that would mean robin would probably lean back and that is the last thing she wants. instead, she grabs the back of her head and bucks her hips upwards. robin gets the hint and lets it happen, lets her pull her face into her. she puts her hands to her inner thighs and holds her open as she licks a broad, long stripe through her with the flat of her tongue, before circling her clit with the tip of it.

it seems as if she hasn't forgotten a thing after all this time, as if she still remembers all the spots that have nancy seeing stars. she wraps her lips around her clit after some more licks and sucks gently, immediately earning an arch of nancy's back and a broken moan of her name in response.

she keeps teasing around her clit with her tongue and then occasionally dips down to gather more of her arousal on her tongue to bring it up.

"fuck nancy" she breathes, voice all hoarse. "you taste so fucking good"

nancy only tries to pull robin closer at that. she feels so hungry right now. she wants more, she needs more. nancy doubts she has ever felt this way before. not with Jonathan, definitely not with steve back then. and even the nights she has spent with robin...nothing could compare to what this feels like. back then they had to rush things, had to keep it quiet, had to love each other in utter silence. now she can love her freely, she can let robin love her freely. for the first time she doesn't have the weight of shame on her shoulders.

robin is still sweeping her tongue through her, but she does it slowly. firm and with purpose, but it is obvious that she wants to take her time with this. just like nancy does.

"oh robin..." nancy's eyes have fallen shut, which gives her no warning when robin begins toying a singular finger to her entrance. her eyes fly open at that but before she has time to fully comprehend it, she pushes it inside and she cries out loud. the noise has robin clenching around nothing between her own legs because she can head just how good nancy is feeling because of her.

she pumps it into her a couple of times, attentively watching what nancy seems to like before the woman above her lets out a whiny "more please" and she adds a second one to it. the pushes it into her slowly but nancy takes it all, moaning as she stretches her further.

"oh- oh my god robin- right there fuck" she moans.

robin wastes no time in getting her mouth back on her and syncing the licks of her tongue over her clit with the thrusts of her fingers. "you're so pretty like this" she mumbles against her and the vibration of her voice goes right into nancy's aching cunt. after a couple of minutes of this, of slow thrusts and licking, she starts picking up her pace. she can feel nancy growing slightly impatient; hips rolling with each curl of her fingers and fingernails scratching her scalp in a desperate attempt to have her closer.

she gets a reaction out of her immediately. the volume of her moans increases and she can feel her legs shaking around her head.

"robin- shit robin- i'm- i'm close" nancy gasps, her back arching off the mattress while she rocks her hips forward in quick motions, chasing her orgasm. "please- please robin please"

"shh" robin hushes her and puts a palm to her stomach to ground her back down onto the bed. "don't worry nance, i told you i got you"

and with that, she picks up her pace again, much quicker this time. high pitched moans echo through the room as nancy grabs for robin's other hand that is still sitting on her thigh and holds onto it for dear life as she comes. robin fucks her through it, and allows her to ride her orgasm out on her tongue; she just lays it flatly against her, and nancy does the rest of it.

nancy's moans are louder than she has ever heard them. she sounds so fucking pretty, robin thinks to herself.

eventually, nancy's orgasm has washed over her and she comes down from her height. she is panting, her chest rising and falling while her eyes are still closed and she is leaning back.

"holy shit" she breathes and chuckles, the aftershocks still rippling through her limbs.

"yeah..." robin mumbles, chin and fingers covered in nancy's cum. "holy shit"

"god" nancy opens her arms. she sounds still breathless but her gaze settles firmly on robin. "come here please"

that's all the woman needs to hear. she slowly withdraws her fingers from her, still careful not to accidentally overstimulate her right now. once she has pulled all the way out, she crawls up her body and nancy wraps her arms around her to hold her especially close. she kisses all over her, every part of her head she can reach: her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. "thank you" she manages in between kisses. "oh thank you robin..."

robin just smiles, allows her to hold onto her as she recovers from her orgasm.

she's not sure what this means yet, not sure what will happen once they finish whatever this is. she knows she wants nancy to stay. not just for the night but for much longer. she knows that letting her go again would be too much for her to bare after she has lost her once before.

so she holds her just a tiny bit closer to her own body, strokes just a little bit more of her skin she can reach, and whispers sweet nothings to her to steady her racing heart. makes use of everything she can get as long as she has it, the fear of nancy leaving slowly creeping into her head.

little does she know that nancy, who is running her fingers through her hair as she enjoys the soft kisses and touches on her skin, has already made up her mind. that for the first time ever, nancy is not afraid to make a choice this fundamental.

nancy knows what she really, truly wants. she knows she wants robin.

and she will show her just how much...

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. currently very tempted to write a part 2 so...

#robin buckley #nancy wheeler #robin buckley x nancy wheeler #robin buckley x nancy wheeler smut #robin buckley x nancy wheeler angst #ronance #ronance fanfiction #ronance smut #ronance fluff #ronance angst #stranger things

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eliziarts · 1 year

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It really gets me how you can't say shit about Helluva Boss (or Hazbin Hotel for that matter) to actually critique without fans getting buthurt, and the only people agreeing with you people who just hate Vivzipop (for the record i dont lol). But here are my gripes that I wish people were actually talking about (btw I really *want* to love Helluva Boss and none of this is mean-spirited, just things I've noticed that I wish the team would fix, or I believe are beyond fixing):

1. The very confused tone. I know a lot of people deflect any criticism from the show by saying 'oh but it's a comedy you shouldn't take it too seriously'. Here's the thing- it's literally taking itself too seriously. There's a balance that a show can have between dark elements and humor, but Helluva Boss consistently tries to tackle very, VERY heavy subjects. This combined with the Brandon Rodgers-essque d!ck joke comedy doesn't.. work. At least not in the way they're attempting. I think the most egregious example of this is the scene in the latest episode when Moxie's dad is literally threatening to kill him if he doesn't follow through with an arranged marriage... immeadiatly followed by Moxie walking though a hall of wall d!ldos. It kind of says, 'hey, we were taking this really seriously 2 seconds ago, but jk actually now you should laugh!'

Juxtaposition doesn't work if it actively confuses its audience on what to feel. I'm not sure how much influence Vivzie and Brandon have on the outcome of the show vs the rest of the writing team, but it seems like Brandon's humor and Vivzie's tendency to write melodramatic soap opera scenes just aren't really meshing together quite right. I wish it had more similar pacing and tone shifts that HH had, because it felt more sudden in a purposeful way, rather than 'we're too lazy to find a good transition between these two scenes.'

2. Why does Vivziepop never write interesting female characters? I know this is talked about a bit more, but it's growing increasingly prevalent in Helluva Boss. We still haven't gotten an episode focused on any of the female leads that's actually about *them*.

Millie is practically nonexistent without her relationship to Moxie. Even the episode where we meet her family, it doesn't give us any insight about her. Every time she goes feral(tm) it's either to save her husband or it's part of a group fight. The only backstory we got for Loona was there to service Blitzo's character, and show us *his* reaction. The only things we've seen with Octavia were put there to help us learn more about Stolas. Even in the scene where they only had Loona and Octavia on the screen, it didn't feel like it was about them at all. It didn't feel like the scene existed to show us them bonding about their shitty dads. It felt like the scene was there to once again ask the audience to give Blitzo and Stolas pity points. Which- brings me to my next problem.

3. Its justifications of abuse. I know they're in hell. Most of them should be shitty people, and they are! But I wish the story would stop trying to pretend they're not. Helluva Boss keeps doing this thing where it draws a line between 'good' abuse and 'bad' abuse. And this kind of completely changed Stolas and Blitzo's relationship. Ik some people may like this change but I personally don't.

Earlier on, we were made to believe Stolas kind of fucked up by cheating on his wife. Not only did this affect Stella (tho ofc we later learn it's due to image reasons) but his daughter as well. It's just generally an uncomfortable and tricky situation. And I liked it! It was interesting and had levels of nuance. However, now that we know that he was basically being abused by Stella this entire time, and met Blitzo when they were kids (which is a WHOLE OTHER UNCOMFORTABLE CAN OF WORMS LMAO) the audience no longer feels like Stolas did anything wrong. Now his actions feel justified.

As much as I loved his confrontational scene with Stella the first time I watched it, as I know many people did, I also know that it kind of ruined any sense of nuance that whole situation had. Now, Stolas suddenly has been absolved from any previously implied mistakes. And, Stella is portrayed as this 1 dimensional cruel monster.

Which brings me to the point of abuse in this show. It's a very prevalent theme, and it's a heavy one for a show branded as a sit-com to portray (hard, but not impossible). But it fails on the end that it doesn't stay consistent in its condemnation of it. Every time a character does something 'bad', as soon as we find out there is a reason for this bad behavior, the show suddenly makes it seem like we should feel bad for them and that their actions are justified because they're a broken person. See: the narrative around Stolas' affair suddenly being changed as soon as we find out he was being abused by Stella.

Inconsistent emotional consequences in writing is lazy for sure. But the real problem is when it gets to the abuse side of things, it can actually become harmful. It's implied that Blitzo had an emotionally abusive relationship with Verosika. But ohh we know he had a fucked up childhood and has fear of forming emotional bonds so! Geuss it's okay! But when it comes to Stella, she's just downright mean, 1 dimensional, and literally says she's doing things for no reason other than to make Stolas suffer.

It's important to note that every single time a character gets a *reason* for their assholery, it becomes a *justification* in the way the show frames it. But whenever a character doesn't have a reason for being as asshole, like Stella (at least not one that's shown), that's where the show then draws the line.

This is harmful! Hate to break it to you but the bulk of abusive people out there were abused themselves. They have multitudes of reasons for why they are the way they are. But that doesn't excuse their actions! And I really hate that this is the standard of framing Helluva Boss has set up for their show because now, no matter how bad a character's actions are, they can slap on a sad backstory and suddenly make that character a sympathetic one.

Yeah but anyways idk. If you read all of that I thank you for taking ur time to listen to my 2 cents. The last episode I really enjoyed was the Ozzie's one and I'm just kinda bummed at a lot of this stuff I mentioned.

#helluva boss #hot take #helluva boss blitzo #stolas helluva boss #stolitz #vivzie why cant you spend more time on your female chrs im begging you #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism

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no-luscinia-no-amore · 5 months

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Hi!!! I really love your snake Crowley plush and I want to make a similar one both as A Friend and also as like, a mini weighted blanket type thing to drape over myself when I'm anxious. Did you use a pattern for him?

Hellloooooo! I am unbelievably delighted that my snake child is so beloved!!! First, I have definitely been cuddling with him as a weighted blanket snek and honestly the snakey form is sssso much better than a blanket imo because he's A Wiggly Friend rather than just a big suffocating warm thing. Highly recommended!

Second, no I did not use a pre existing pattern, but I can tell you what I did and if the instructions are too vague I can (try to) write a real one up to share! I am kinda an intuitive (lmao, messy) knitter in that I hate fixing mistakes so I just integrate any I make into the project and let whatever happens guide the process but there was a method which emerged eventually.

This is LONG. But here we go:

Here's the yarn I used. Total, 120ish (maybe 160??) yd of super bulky for his belly and 4 skeins of 2 strands held together (total 450ish yd?) of a bulky worsted for his back. It was on sale? Definitely go bulky as you can manage, otherwise you'll be at this forever. If I was rich I would have held together a strand of silk blend black with the plain superwash for a pretty glistening look but whatever

Cascade yarn is the best mid grade superwash ever.

I like the look of held together yarn for contrast against the belly, makes the black stitches look more scaled and have a softer drape but whatever, if you hate holding strands together and prefer a more overall bulky look, use super bulky all over. Bernat is cheaper than wool for sure too.

I knitted his belly first, using US 13/9mm needles and K stitch. I was doing a snake crowley glove project at the same time and knitting them in the round half black half red. It SUCKED and was unmanageable. I hate colourwork. So, tummy first to establish length because it's easier to rip out if I make a horrible mistake. That happened a lot as he kept getting longer and longer and I tried to do increases without looking while watching much ado about nothing and ...etc

The top was knitted in stockinette with 10.5/6mm needles directly onto his belly, by sliding the last black stitch of the row onto the right needle, picking up a red stitch from the first row available of the belly, moving the black stick back over to the left above the red stitch, and then k or p2tog in stockinette. I always picked up the red stitch knitwise because I'm lazy.

It sounds way more complicated than it is, but you must 1) know what your stitches look like so you consistently pick up the same one each row and 2) be careful not to skip a belly row, since it'll end up crooked and janky if you skip one or accidentally pick up twice from the same row (bulky, lighter colour, knit stitch all helped a lot here! Do the belly first!)

This made the cool effect of stippling at the transition and meant I didn't have to sew anything together ever but it also made stuffing him HELL ON WHEELS since it was a 6+ ft tube already by the time I stuffed (I'll explain stuffing at the end)

If you do this, use circulars. Easier to deal with all the twisting and chaos once you're 3 feet in. You can just knit the sections separately and baste them at the end OR only knit them together on one side and baste the other at the end oh godammit why didn't I do that

Ok, back to the belly.

Here's a closer look at the bottom of his snoot;

You can see I'm a messy increaser lmao. I did the increases in the middle so there would be a throat look, I think? That was a long time ago when I thought he would be about 4 feet of snek. Anyway, start with a small amount of stitches (looks like I was at 3?) increase row by row for the eye socket/jaw part, and then decrease after a few rows. Sometimes I knit a few rows to see what I'm working with, then trace what I have and sketch out the rest of the shape/size I'm aiming for. I did not do that here, just increased until it looked like the width I wanted and then knit a couple rows before decreasing a little for his neck.

Except snakes don't really have necks, but whatever. You should think of the belly as the BASE of the whole thing. Don't get clever trying to increase and decrease too much for shaping, I did that and it was hell when making the top. Find a stitch width past the head part which seems cuddly/about 1/3 of the total round shape you'll want to end up with after stuffing and knit that for a million years until you've attached your last red skein.

I started decreasing for his tail to end up being 1/4 of his total length. You'll be obsessively measuring the whole time because making him takes forever, so do math or just decide "its tail time!"

Just k2tog at the second to last stitch on the needle (because remember, you'll be picking up the last stitch for the top!) an odd number of rows at a time. This is where it's hard to really write a pattern because those red stitches are hidden by the construction! Ultimately, after 4-5 ft of the belly you should be familiar with your gauge and know how many stitches will make a smooth transitional taper. If you oops and decrease too many times on the same edge creating a weird angle, who cares. You'll be hiding so many sins with the top part. Once you're down to 5 stitches or so, switch to circulars or dpns and make as long of an icord as feels right to you, decreasing at some point to bind off your cord with a final total of 2 stitches.

Ok, top part. Decide which side of the belly is the inside! Or wait to see what you end up with like I did lmao.

I picked up the red snoot stitches instead of casting on and started knitting with the black yarn in reverse stockinette. Actually I changed my mind about 5 rows in to his snoot which side was going to face out, but whatever. Same thing, stockinette stitch. After 5ish rows of knitting black stitches, picking up the red stitch and knitting them together in pattern, switch stockinette directions (knit two rows, then purl, then knit etc) so his snoot is snooty.

Ok real talk, what I actually did for his head was, first, I just picked up red stitches and knitted them in pattern WITHOUT reducing to account for them, because I wanted the top curve of his head and body to be larger than the belly. Picking up without k2tog will increase each row by 1 stitch!

Then, once it was obviously a bit larger, what I did for picking up the red stitches at his mouth without increasing was:

k2tog the second and third to last black stitches, move last stitch over, pick up red stitch, move black stitch back, knit the black stitch, knit the red stitch. This looks different than the body, as you can see here:

Head has black stitches interlaced with red, body just has red stitches stippling the transition. If you like the snaggly toothy look, do it that way for his face I guess! Or make it not look like trash, expecting nobody will ever see it up close but you! Lmao

I added some wrong way stitches to mark where his eyes would go (as eyebrows!) but if you don't have a good sense of how the head is coming together don't do that.

Follow along your belly increases while knitting/attaching the top, more or less. No need to mark exactly when increase/decreases happened, just try to keep the width of the back a little wider than the belly. You can increase by just not k2tog the red stitch you pick up! When you decrease, do that with the second and third stitches of the row instead of at the end, so you don't end up with a mess of k2togs always clustered together.

Also don't be stupid like I was and decide to just go nuts increasing and then frantically have to decrease unless you want him to be randomly fat in the middle ok?

Ok stuffing.

Ideally you sew his eyes on first. If you want to wait until his head is stuffed, just know you'll be trapped in the hell that I was and be VERY CAREFUL that you don't stab through the bead tube.

Start stuffing around 4-5 feet in (OR ONLY ATTACH HIM ON ONE SIDE whatever! I am so annoyed I only just NOW figured that out but I didn't have to sew anything but his eyes I GUESS) It will be impossible to travel with him after this and will make it hard to manage the turning of stockinette but anything is better than stuffing a 7ft tube. I used about 7lb of poly beads but only you know how heavy you want him.

I cut the legs off 2 pairs of tights (4 long tubes) poured just the beads into 2 of them, and mixed beads with stuffing into the other 2. Tightly tie off the open tops! Or sew them but...why

If you don't care about seeing the stuffing through the stitches, then intersperse stuffing around and between your tubes of beads. If you do care, gods be with you because I rolled the stuffing up into a very long piece of velvet and shoved it in there but nope, nobody should do that. I don't know why they don't make black poly stuffing.

His eyes are 48mm vintage buttons so I can't give you a link for them. If you're trying to make a similar sized snake fren you'll probably want to use 35mm-50mm. Nobody sells large enough safety/snap eyes in yellow cat eyes, as far as I can tell after searching for a couple of weeks :(

OK THAT'S ALL tell me if you want better close ups or anything or if you'd like this in a real pattern?? I have never written a pattern. But I might in the name of snekCrowleys for the world!

#snake!crowley #knitted snek #sorta a pattern #q&a #good omens fanart #fiber fanart

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room-surprise · 4 months

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Dungeon Meshi Anime Season 1, Episode 1 Review

Spoilers for season 1, episode 1 of the anime below the cut!

I watched both the English sub with Japanese audio, and the English dub, on Netflix.

I think overall it's very good, has a good tempo and doesn't mess with the pacing or characterization in any major way, very faithful to the manga. I think there could have been SOME improvements or adjustments made, but I'm not at all surprised that it didn't happen, making 1:1 extremely faithful manga adaptations seems to have become the norm lately.

On the plus side, that means that if this current level of quality continues, that the anime will always be at least as good as the manga... which is already very good! So that's great.

But on the negative side, that means it won't ever be better than the manga, and that makes me a little sad, because I think an anime adaptation of Dungeon Meshi could absolutely surpass the manga, if they were willing to take some risks, and with Ryoko Kui's guiding hand. Anyway.

Love the OP song, love it's old timey tavern feel and that it's not a straight up jpop or jrock song. Soundtrack music was really nice. Animation was great.

Love that they show a closeup of Falin's open eyes in the OP so we'll know.... ;3 later

Things that I didn't like as much:

Almost all the background text is in Japanese when it wasn't in the manga. Kui often used glyphs or scribbles to indicate that things aren't in English or Japanese.... but they're just using Japanese as far as I can tell.

Netflix America doesn't translate most of it either. They also don't put in the English logo on the opening even though they have it on the show homepage... Don't know if they'll fix it later.

Personally, I think it would also be fine if all the releases had the background in-universe text appear in the target language so the implication is "this is in the viewer's language, whatever that is, but that isn't the actual fantasy language being used in-universe". But I doubt this will happen.

And there is SOME text in glyphs! The dungeon gourmet book isn't in a real language when it's shown... I think it's just laziness. I would honestly very much prefer nonsense text in a variety of languages than this.

In the Japanese I genuinely thought Laios was providing the narration, so I was totally taken aback when there was a different narrator in English.... and I honestly liked it a LOT better when I thought Laios was narrating, it felt really natural and good! So sad that it isn't actually what's happening. Don't really like the slightly snarky David Attenborough style nature commentary narrator. Feels weird and jarring at times.

Subtitles are fine, but there's some things that are randomly different for no good reason, subs say Senshi means "researcher" and dub says "seeker" and.... Senshi doesn't have a mouth, you don't need to match his dialogue to mouth-flaps, you can make him say ANYTHING you want so why have it be different?

There's some dub script choices I REALLY hated and am probably going to die mad about lmao:

Marcille saying that their "inventory" was wiped out, like they're in a video game, calling the scared adventurers "newbs" like they're in a video game, saying "as if" like she's a 90's California girl.

Senshi saying "delish" instead of "delicious" . There's no mouth flaps, why shorten it to a modern slang term that feels unnatural?

Laios also says "geez" which is short for "jesus" so they could have picked literally anything else for him to say, I'm sure the Japanese was probably "mattaku" which just means "Really?" (too lazy to confirm this lol)

Chilchuck says "god" and you could just have him... not say that. Or say "gods" because there's multiple gods in Dungeon Meshi.

Those were my major thoughts so far. Overall thought it was great and I enjoyed it! Looking forward to more!

It's not perfect, but I have seen much, much, MUCH worse adaptations lmao so I'm excited for when they get to some of the more dynamic action scenes in the second half of the manga.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi anime #delicious in dungeon anime #my stuff #review

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genericpuff · 10 months

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Hiii, I read your post about the stiff dialogue in LO, and I wanted to add my own two cents!

I myself am a person with a nice case of dyslexia (it will most likely show in this message). While I can’t speak for everyone with dyslexia, I pesonally cannot and will not publish anything ”official”, without spell checking it to hell and back. This is mostly because I’m hyper aware of this being one of my ”shortcomings”.

I also wanted to say, that most of, if not all, people with dyslexia that I know are rather self-consious about it. I just find it a bit unbeliavable that all the misspellings/awkward text in LO are there simply because Rachel has dyslexia. To me personally, it seems to be more a product of laziness and/or indifference.

Of course there is the fact that I’m not working on a long project, and I can usually take my time with my work, so maybe I just have more recourses to be careful. I also want to make clear that I don’t mean to say that Rachel’s dyslexia doesn’t affect her workload at all, but I do think she should have the means to check these things, especially since she is quite successful in the field.

Thanks for pitching in on this! I myself do not have dyslexia, but I do understand the struggle of missing words or misspelling them as my brain tends to move too quick at times for my writing speed to keep up LMAO It happens a lot when I'm writing by hand as I can't handwrite as fast as I can type so words sometimes go missing while my brain speeds ahead 😂

I can get why someone might be a little more self-conscious about typos being pointed out if they're making their comic entirely on their own and for free, or if they're just self-conscious about making mistakes in general (it can be scary to put a piece of work out into the world!) but Rachel is literally the top creator on the platform so there's zero excuse for it to have gone this long without at least a copy editor. And frankly it's still weird that they hire a copy editor at all just for checking typos because that's something that can be done so easily (again, Rachel has 4-5 other assistants per episode, you're telling me NONE of them could do it for her? Oh that's right, because she has them all draw their panels in isolation of one another and then she slaps the dialogue in at the last minute -.- the copy editor she has right now seems like the 'last step' before she submits the comic).

That said, if you go back far enough, you can actually find Rachel's take on correcting her misspellings and it's... frankly way saltier than it ought to be? Like I get it, it might feel like an attack for someone to say "hey, I spotted this mistake!" especially if you're self-conscious about it or are living with a learning disorder that affects your every day life, but when you get over that self-consciousness of making mistakes, it's really not that big of a deal? Like, yeah, it can be really frustrating when people point those mistakes out because it makes you feel bad or reminds you that you're struggling with something like spelling that seems so natural and 'easy' to everyone else, but I find true genuine fans of your work don't point these things out to be mean, just to be helpful. Yes, some people are mean about it, but you can usually tell which ones are the mean ones and which ones are the nice ones.

I've made spelling and grammatical errors in both Time Gate and Rekindled that have been kindly pointed out, and you know what I do when people find them? I thank them for spotting what I clearly didn't and I go and fix it. Because it makes my work better for my audience and my own peace of mind.

Rachel, meanwhile-

(tiny picture translation:

Question: Why do you have typos?

Rachel's answer: Yes, believe it or not I speak English. (English-New Zealand not English-American) Remember... not everyone cares about spelling. And frankly if go around pointing out spelling mistakes in peoples comics you have an issue. Plus I'm dyslexic you insensitive ass!)

Like... that whole thing is from her FAQ section that she made herself and she's still having a tone of voice that implies she's directing her answer at one specific person as if it was like an anon ask LMAO and really, I get the spirit of what she's saying, it can be pretentious/rude to point out people's spelling mistakes... in an informal or conversational setting. If you're making a comic or writing a book, though, it's basically a bare minimum expectation that you should be using spell check and making sure things are readable. You're making the work for other people to read after all. So her tone in this followed by the whole "I'm dyslexic you ass" bit just feels so unnecessarily hostile over something that was an innocent mistake and happens to literally everyone. Like, she really do be hurting her own feelings in her own FAQ that she made on her own time, this isn't the only question in there that reeks of 2000's edgy era "fuck you for asking" energy lmao

That said, to be fair, that is from her 2000's edgy era, so I'm hoping she's grown out of that at least slightly, but judging by how she's been managing her comic the past few years, it's clear she still isn't bothering to employ simple tactics to keep mistakes from slipping through the cracks and would rather lean on her dyslexia as an excuse rather than a reason. Dyslexia is a reason for typos, but where it becomes an excuse IMO is when she blames her dyslexia and then doesn't fix the mistakes that arise due to her dyslexia or do anything to make her life easier going forward.

Again, she's hired a copy editor, so if they're a permanent part of the team now, that will hopefully make things better. But why weren't they one of the first people hired when it's clear that Rachel could really use the help to ensure her comic comes out being the best version of itself it could be? It's like she's been literally shooting herself in the foot for the last 5 years.

It really feels lazy and, frankly, disrespectful. I know that might be a hot take or seem a little overblown to use that word here, but if you're going to be creating a comic for an audience - and expecting that audience to read your comic each week and in Rachel's case be expected to pay money for it - then you should be doing them the service of making it worth reading and sticking around for. If you can't even do so much as spell check your work - or go back and edit the errors when they arise - then that really goes to show how little you care about your own audience because you're not willing to put in the time and effort to even just fix a typo, let alone give them something worth coming back to and paying for each week. Sure, not everyone pays for the comics, but those viewership analytics are still valuable and it's very clear at this point that they're dropping rapidly week after week, and yet Rachel is doing barely anything to help turn things around.

Lore Olympus disrespects its audience in more ways beyond just the typos, of course, but the typos feel like the shopping cart litmus test - it costs next to nothing to resolve the issue, so if you still choose not to, it speaks to how little effort you're willing to put in to do something helpful for others that already only requires the bare minimum to do.

Of course, much of this is all speculative so take it with grains of salt, but judging by her responses to her own audience way back in the day, it really paints a picture of how Rachel views her audience. It makes it feel like she doesn't release her work into the world to genuinely entertain people or to find others who may connect and resonate with the work, she does it purely for herself and herself alone. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing in and of itself, it's pretty difficult to keep up a project if you aren't doing it for yourself to some degree (and you shouldn't create a comic just to earn an audience because that's just setting up unfair expectations for yourself lol), but in Rachel's case, it feels more like she's emulating the same edgelord energy of her "boss babe" Persephone - if you don't love every part of her and her work regardless of its genuine flaws, no matter how easy said flaws would be to fix, then you should just shut up and read her work and/or pay for it anyways because she should be allowed to do whatever she wants and if you don't like it, then you're an insensitive ass.

#ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama #lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus

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saltymongoose · 2 years

Note

OK SO ignore my last ask (and delete it too that'd be great-) and ignore the fact I'm too lazy to come up with actual dialog- BUT I enjoy the thought of Player and Spy being bastards and just flirting with each other jokingly (or not on Spy's end) and making the boys much more irate with him. Ofc Spy notices and maybe turns up the charm because 1) you're going along with it, and 2) they're not going to do shit while you're around. AND to fix what I said last ask because I was a bit too excited while making it,, I think some of the mercs might get crushes on the Player. Not to the point of obsession tho! Normal lads who just love the person who's been watching over them, cheering them on, and helping them in the most dire situations!! I think the mercs most likely to fall in love are Scout, Demo, Soldier, and maybe Sniper.

HGJKGVK OMG WALNUT This is absolutely perfect, I love it. I 100% advocate for the Player being a bastard lmao, it's so fun. And btw, how are you so good at drawing Spy?! The expressions and everything are perfect (with the Player too lol, I love 'em), he looks great. :D I lowkey feel like every time I see your art of a character - any character - they end up becoming one of my favorites just because of how you portray them. As is the case here. <3333

I think the Player would be more impassive in reaction to Spy’s flirting at first, if not just because they think he’ll grow bored with it after a time. (That’s why he’s doing it - for entertainment, right?) However, after a period of time, he surprisingly doesn’t. You’re not sure if it’s because he has a genuine interest or if he just likes getting reactions from you (and the boys), but you figure that if he’s gonna keep at it, you might as well play along (for fun, if nothing else).

Spy would initially be a little surprised when you first turned the tables on him, giving an equally flirtatious response with a coy wink when he said something to you. However, you wouldn’t know this, as he was quick to shoot back with a compliment without losing any composure (he's Spy, he's not gonna be entirely phased by something like this. Not visually, at least.). From then on, he’d definitely try to do it more often, calling you pet names (in french, of course), complimenting your beauty whenever he sees you or you meet eyes, or just giving you looks that imply something more. (If you seem so open to it, why not dial up the charm more?)

In return, you tell him how much you love his accent and the sound of his voice, and just how nice you think he looks in his suit. Sometimes you even call him terms of endearment as well, even when you aren't technically "flirting back". (Is this something of an inside joke, or are you beginning to actually feel something for him? He can't really tell. But he'll go along with it regardless.)

Spy knows that you’re probably doing it in a joking way, despite how genuinely charming you are, but he can't help but feel just a bit warmer when you shower him with compliments in response to his own. (It's nice to get attention from someone as great (and important) as you, what can he say.) And, if he grows to like you more than platonically, then perhaps he can use this to get closer to you. It might be a bit more difficult to assure you of how true his affections are, but you are more than worth the effort and time that would take.

Plus, the reaction from those four "grunts" you have as vessels is also very amusing to him. He can feel them glaring at him when you flirt with each other, the weight of their stares settling a tad uncomfortably on him. But the odd feeling of happiness he gets from you returning his gestures, even if it isn't entirely sincere, is enough to ignore it. He also knows that your other vessels wouldn't dare try anything with you there anyway, so if he plays it up a bit more to get more amusing reactions from them, there's no harm in it. For him, anyway.

As for your grunts, "irate" is definitely a good descriptor for how they are. "Incandescent with rage" is also a fitting term.

They already loathed Spy for how he flirted with you, but they assumed that your supposed disinterest would make him quit it. However, all hopes for this were thrown out the window the moment they saw you go along with it. They're nearly shaking from how angry they are, and you honestly think you might've heard Hank growl at him once when you two were close to him. Your compliments towards Spy's voice are a real gut punch to Deimos (that was his thing!!), whereas Sanford and 2BDamned are questioning why you'd bother doing so. (There must be an underlying reason. Do you do this because you're both humans? What is so damn likable about Spy?)

To them, it doesn't even matter that you're joking; that flirting is something you should be doing with them.

(I can also see some of the bolder of your grunts trying to be more openly flirty to garner a similar response, with varying effectiveness. Deimos is great with it (he flirts with you sometimes anyway), while 2B and Sanford are a bit shyer with such things. Hank is another deal entirely.)

I also agree that some of the Mercs would probably get crushes on the Player. You’ve been with them for such a long amount of time, supporting them in their fights, keeping them alive for as long as you can, and cheering them on as you brought their team to victory again and again; they value you a lot, and after getting to know you personally, it is likely that they would come to see you in a more romantic light. Especially the more "open" of them (i.e. Scout, Demo, Soldier, and arguably Sniper), since you'd get to know them first. (Also if you "mained" them in TF2, since they'd have the knowledge that they were already your legitimate favorite out of the bunch. They'd also be the closest to you that way as well.)

It's a development from being starstruck to noticing how red they get when you come too close, and the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs when you compliment their work. They think it's a bit silly at first, but it's not exactly a bad thing. It doesn't get in the way of their work that much, and if they put in a bit of extra effort to try to impress you a little bit, that just benefits the team too. (Although some are far more obvious with their little crushes than others. Scout.)

It also helps that you know pretty much everything about them, and understand how they are. There's no judgement with you or trying to alter how they do their jobs, you can understand their idiosyncrasies and mentalities perfectly and work with them to get the best results. And, more importantly, you truly value them, in a way their previous bosses hadn't. So, they like you. Simple as that.

(Although, obsession is very unlikely, as they're more "normal" than the grunts somehow (at least in this way) and have better views on interpersonal relationships. They're just average eccentric mercenaries that might have kind of a thing for their Player, which would be expected after years of "knowing" you and being supported so selflessly, only to actually meet you and see that you're even kinder than expected.)

#tw: yandere #I love their facial expressions in the final panel lmao #(Spy is so lucky Hank can't do anything except leer.)#Why are the Mercs so great? I love them.#other's art #FAV #distressedwalnut #mutuals ✨

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get-rammed · 8 months

Note

Also I don't know if you have Diego and the others on private or something, because

The only one here is Glamrock...

Nope. They're all still public, but with how the site works, if the censor finds something it doesn't like in the descriptions, it'll hide the bots. There is striaght up nothing I can do about it since there's no way of knowing what flagged it. None of my Monty bots have anything remotely bad in them. Besides Golf Monty who I have that he makes adult jokes and is a little raunchy. And the only thing I can think of on Diego is it's considered too violent. Which fair but I still don't have anything like that written in it specifically to avoid him just killing the reader immediately. Idk what's up with were Monty though

Both Trevor's and Rodney were made before I was aware of that, and I'm too lazy to go back and fix them. So yeah rip them lmao

Which is why I have the links posted. Only way they're gonna let us have the bots

#the ram replies #text ramplies #Sapphireclawe

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eviltiddyproductions · 8 months

Text

destined with you : episode 4

rowoon has graduated from the song hye kyo school of cheekbone acting omg. you cannot not look at them!

my sister's gagged

lmaooo i love her for just glossing over his confession 😂

this is a pretty realistic (and hilarious )conversation regarding the love spell lmao like they are both really just stuck with this situation now 💀

the writers better make this fun !!!

need to get my hands on a gif of his deadpan delivery of 'don't make that face it makes my heart flutter' 😐🫥😐

him trying to pull his feet of the ground lmaooo

props to the second male lead he said I'm good to dogs, cold to my family; stop the delusions ✋ (to be fair though families always have a higher chance of being terrible than dogs)

well he let her down gently, sweet man

everybody in this show is lonely #relatable

oh the way he randomly got up scared me lmao 😭

naur hong jo find a cure and get this man back to normal again 💀

adore the manager down for atleast taking care of these things

all the best hong jo 😭

'in my body sadness should be working actively but joy is having fun cluelessly' ME WHEN

y'all they're showing his ex girlfriend and I guess the second female lead but we're 4 episodes in and I feel nothing. 💀 like at least give me some breadcrumbs to be interested

hide hong jo! you're about to catch strays because of his breakup 😭

honestly he's got the i need to pee so bad stance absolutely downnn

generally in shows that go back and forth between past life and current life i get kind of bored and disinterested but this is keeping my intrigue!

also maybe shows really work when you take them 2 episodes at a time because at this point I'll eat anything up 💀 #embarrassing

lmao Manager Queenie just read Mr. Gong to filth

babe pretty sure your love potion man moved in

woah who's this hoodie man ?!!

get your streetlights fixed sister !!!

love potion man got the lights fixed!

should've just made him call you

lmao look at him skipping after her 💀

could make a drinking game out of the amount of times he says 'get a grip of yourself Shin Yu

y'all I do feel for him though. having to sit through this and have no control of your feelings bc of a love potion seems terrible 😭🙏

I knew they would cut away when she told her the way out of it !!! let me in !!! I won't tell

'do you think I'm doing this so I can spend time with you? you're right I'm doing this so I can spend time with you' is actually so funny

wait he left, did the second male lead move in here ?!!

he's just like me! I want to know too!!!

is the manager Queenie really that good or is the shoe going to drop soon ( I hope it doesn't I love her down !!!) like woah she's always on the right side

awww at least he cares about his boss

wearing a Hawaiian shirt at the funeral of someone should be on my bucket list

WHO MOVED IN !!! I want to know so bad lol

she saved his name as groot

girl just tell us

he was the hooded man !???! 😭 it is him! mr. kwon the second lead (honestly very slay)

girl I adore you 💀🙏 I'd be terrified of moving around if my crush moved in

he looks cute dressed down

oooh imoogi's here

lmao scenes like this remind me of the tale of the nine tailed 1938 dialogue that the gods have gotten lazy and are copy pasting the same face everywhere 😂

at least here it's destiny

girl help him break the spell omg? this is kinda cruel 😭

is that a real beach? the sky and angle is giving green screen

girl his ex would also feel much better if we all got together to break the spell 🧘

oh she came here for her dad

it's a real beach after all

1 minute of the show left and I'll have to wait for another week I really lost. I'm not built for his lifestyle 😭

the precap looks saur good

#destined with you #kdrama #i'm not built for the weekly wait #the second lead has been here for 3 minutes and I'm already rooting for him lmaaaoo #see y'all next week

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mooifyourecows · 1 year

Note

Hey moo :)

Can I ask a question? You moved into your house not that long ago right? Have you done any house projects since you moved in? Or discovered any house secrets?

Most of the weird house stuff was stuff that literally drew me to want to buy it in the first place tbh

Like the photos were pleasantly honest! (Which is great considering I bought this bitch ONLINE without ever seeing it in person hahaha 🫠)

Like I can tell that whoever made this house wanted to make something original and quirky and I'm in love with it. There are so many weird angles and design choices with zero rhyme or reason. like why do those walls connect at a 30° angle like that?? Why are there beams everywhere? What shape is that room even supposed to be???

It's just.. FUN. Literally when I saw the pictures on zillow for this place, I was like "weird!" But then saved it. And then returned to it over and over again while looking at other places and eventually I just knew it was the one. Like I couldn't get it out of my mind

But like, how could I pass it up? It was less than 200k$ and 2300 square feet on 5 acres of land down a wooded lane!! J-j-j-jackpot!

There are some totally weird and funky design choices and there's a lot I WANT to do.

Some examples (ignore lazy or nonexistent decorating, i havent gotten around to doing anything yet):

There's this nasty ass wall paneling throughout like 1/3rd of the house that looks like the walls of a motor home and I HATE IT. It's ugly and stupid and I tore off one panel to see what was underneath and guess what! It's normal wall! (Ignore hot lady calendar)

Except the glue from the paneling kinda ripped off parts of it but like THEY JUST GLUED THIS SHIT ON OVER WALLPAPER?? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? JUST REMOVE THE WALLPAPER AND PAINT, ITS SO MUCH EASIER THAN THROWING UP THIS UGLY BULLSHIT. ugh

So like yeah I wanna remove all of that, but it's gonna be a big project because there's a LOT and some of it is underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. Yikes.

Pretty much every ceiling is tall and slanted in some weird way, which makes me dread painting because how am I supposed to paint super high up like that when I only got a 7 foot ladder???

The house is 1.5 stories too, which means that there's a partial upstairs that is essentially just a little loft thing that looks out over the living room and then this small, strange room we affectionately refer to as "Travis's room" for reasons I think will soon be obvious....

We will honestly probably have to hire a contractor to come look at this upstairs area because part of the ceiling is like... collapsing? And all gross and dirty? (Kinda visible in that second photo) It's not attached to the roof so like, the outside is fine and isn't leaking or in danger of caving in but idk it's just kinda weird and I have no idea what the thought process was for this whole upstairs area. Like what is this narrow little sliver of room here? (Ignore hot wheels tracks)

And the ceiling fan next to the staircase is SO CLOSE lmao if it's on and you lean even a little bit over the railing, you're getting brained. Like in this pic I'm not reaching out, just lifting my arm to touch it (ignore dust, I don't clean and you can't make me)

The living room is really big but it's also weirdly shaped so organizing my furniture is a nightmare. Especially since there's a pellet stove (currently not working) on one wall. (ignore dirty socks, mismatched cheap lamps, messy cat tree corner behind couch, big ugly coffee table I got for free that used to be black until I sanded it down but then got bored and left it as is)

As of right now, I haven't done much to the place because wow apparently home improvement takes effort and costs money??? Go figure. And we've been pretty broke lately so I've just been collecting ideas for the time being.

I am absolutely gonna start painting this year though. My bedroom rn is just boring white so I wanna fix that. Maybe do something dark and warm like a dark brown or green or hmm something like that. The room I've been calling the "gym" (because that's where I put the treadmill) will probably get done next since it's such a blank slate and should be easy to fix up.

And I absolutely want to mess around with my office because the way it's arranged and decorated rn is lame. They painted a bunch of rooms an ugly ass flat brown color, including several closets, my office, and the spare bathroom so THATS got to go.

I want to start decorating for real, finally buy some frames for the art I've been collecting so I can hang them up on some of these tall ass walls.

I also have plans to make a catio out back and even have a bunch of wood and some of the frames constructed but I got bored and abandoned it haha 😄

Oh and I want to reeeeally start doing stuff with the outside. I want to plant trees and maybe do a garden this year, tear up the plants I don't want and replace them with ones I do, clean up the big ass plot of land that's just overgrown brush and weeds and maybe make it into an orchard? Get some fruit trees and make some cute little rows? Maybe I'll even build a fence and a pond and put flowers everywhere. You know, for the bugs 💌🐝🐛🦋🕷

Now i just need to win a million dollars so I can afford to do it all 🥲

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imsotired0 · 2 years

Text

I swear to god that I'm gonna kill myself soon ughhhh

I wish I could kill myself but like not die

I want everyone around me to cry over little bitch boy max while I continue living

I don't wanna be gone I just want everyone to love me

and the only way they will ever fucking love me is if I get up out if bed and down a aspirin bottle

But I'm to fucking lazy to do that huh?

I'm already snuggled up in bed and warm and to lazy to go one door down and grab a pencil sharper

I'm do depressed to be depressed lmao

And tomorrow I'll see my family,and I'll smile, and I'll tell myself that life's worth living, then I'll see my girlfriend hit me again, then ill be ashamed for my hyperfixations again, then my mom will tell me I have nothing to be depressed about even when she knows a can and will make myself bleed again.

And I cant even let myself bleed

Her and her friends have been talking about me, even though it's been a year since she put words in my mouth

Apparently I show off my self harm even though when I sh I had gym and couldn't help it.

They expect me to cover up and be ashamed

But im not

You can't even see it anymore

And I'm too scared because I don't want her to hate me even though I have not said a single fucking word to her.

I don't want to because when my friend broke up with her girlfriend it was "because she self harms" EVEN THOUGH ALL SHE DID WAS OPEN UP TO YOU

AND ALL YOU DID WAS BLAME HER

AND EVERYONE BLAMES HER

EVERYONE WILL BLAME ME

AND EVERYONE WILL HATE ME

I HAVE TO BE HAPPY

I HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPYI HAVE TO BE HAPPY

I'm so tired

I want this to be over

I'm so fucking unoriginal

I'm a depressed tean ranting on TUMBLR IN 2022 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I have this bitch looking like the get out of my head poem or all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

And I hate it

I hate that I can't talk to anyone

I hate that no one will read all of this

I hate that I have to convince my girlfriend to even look me in the eye, yet I left a love letter in her locker

Fuck I'm lying now

We don't have lockers

I left it in her art shelf

Which means she probably didn't see it

Why am I writing this?

Shouldn't I just go back and fix the line?

I don't want to

I'm so lazy to do anything

I can't even scroll up and just fix the goddamned line

I can't do anything right

I can't fucking breathe anymore without someone judging me

And if I am anything other then happy I will lose my girlfriend

I'll lose my friends

Again

I worked so hard for friends

New friends I mean

After she blamed me everyone sorta split

One friend stayed with me

4 friends stayed with her

The others sit in the middle

I'm only allowed to interact with them with she's not around

I can say hi to my friends in 7th period

But heaven forbid I even look at their table during art

Ooo she gets mad over that

She tells off my friends for doing stuff with me even though we have theater

I HAVE TO FUCKING PRACTICE

And I ruin their lives too

My in the middle friends I mean

I ruin everything

But I'm not allowed

One of my friends about 2 years back or so had a online friend.

He is (mostly) aroace, but he had a massive crush on his friend.

Then they killed themselves

Then he tried to kill himself

4 times

I got the idea of cutting from him actually

I saw is arm one day

A month later as I was yelling over contacts (fucking pathetic ik) I got the idea

I still had my sharper from the beginning of the year

I'd grab some scissors

Take the blade out

And cut my self

I think my mom knew that night

She kept my out in the living room long enough for it to die down

When I did it I wasn't blinded by rage or sadness

I was entirely sober

Which made it worse

Now I cant be anything but happy

Or he will get sad and make is 5th or 6th attempt

And if I lose him I'm killing myself

One of my friends is my girlfriends identical twin.

We met first actually

And she is definitely jealous I care about her sister more

And of course everything is wrong in her perfect world

Her schedule 'sucks' and that was enough for her to try to kill herself

Twice

And I'm so tired to deal with someone who randomly makes suicide letters in art class and someone who have brake downs after the first mention of suicide

So I have to support her

And him

It sucks

But I have to

Or she'll attempt again

And if I lose her im killing myself

Alright im out of my fit mostly im probably gonna go read smut or watch porn or something

I don't even like porn lmao

If you read this you are a slay 💅

#sh twt #styroblr #styrotwt #sh blog #suicudal #beanstwt #vent tag #vent tw #kys tw

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