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kikixreverie · 1 year

Text

It's called: freefall

Bucky x Female reader

Summary - Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.

Word count - 10k

Warnings - (18+) smut, fingering, p in v, friends to lovers, fake marriage, gross misogynistic man (not Bucko), borderline sexual harassment (not too intense, just gross words, and also not Bucky ofc), fluff, kinda angst, more misogyny.

A/N - Hi, this took me weeks to edit for some reason, sorry, and apologies if it's too long/wordy, i got carried away again. I'm not a big fan of the first half ngl, maybe that's because it's bad, or maybe it's because I've read it about a hundred times. The smut is good though, and that's what really matters.

________________________

"It's just a quick job, I promise. It'll be easy."

Steve gave you a smile of encouragement, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him, before politely averting his gaze to the floor when you lifted your dress slightly to slide your usual dagger into the holster on your thigh.

"Then what's with the getup?" You asked, lifting your head to catch sight of yourself in the mirror opposite you, looking at the dress you had been made to wear.

It was a pretty dress, beautiful actually, the colour beautiful against your skin-tone, perfectly fitted in all the right places, and it flowed down to the floor, a slit travelling up the length of your left leg, ending at your upper thigh.

You felt confident in it, and it was certainly a boost to your ego when Natasha wolf-whistled at the sight of you and Steve turned an impressive shade of red, but it wasn't something you were used to, having spent the past few years of your life dodging and refusing Tony's party invites, sticking to the comfiest clothes you owned when walking about the compound. It was a beautiful dress, but you couldn't help but feel like an imposter wearing it.

Natasha strode over to you and slightly adjusted the placement of your knife, ensuring it wasn't visible through the dress. "Daniel Kozlov. He's been on Shield's hit list for years now, fucker keeps catching and killing our agents on the inside."

You scoffed amusedly and shook your head, "What, so you send me in to get killed too?"

"Don't underestimate yourself, I've seen you take down four armed men with a screwdriver; you'll be fine, plus, you'll have Bucky and he knows how to stay undetected." Steve reassured you and you smiled at him, nodding to his words.

You heard footsteps behind you only moments before another voice spoke up, and you turned to the door, your breath catching in your throat as you did.

"That I do," Bucky nodded to Steve as he entered the room, eyes focused on his hands, adjusting his cuff links with a furrowed brow, before he finally tilted his gaze up, meeting your wide eyes with his own.

You barely noticed him looking you up and down, as you were too busy doing the exact same thing to him, no doubt probably being incredibly obvious as you stared with your lips parted. He looked like pure fucking sin.

Unadulterated and unfiltered sin.

His suit was all black and his pale, blue eyes contrasted against the colour, somehow making them stand out even more than usual. His already incredibly muscular arms and legs were accentuated, the expensive fabric tight against his skin, without it looking strange and uncomfortable, it only drew your attention to how broad his shoulders were compared to his narrow waist, or how thick his thighs looked in the black dress pants.

Multiple silver rings graced his fingers, matching with the silver, designer watch on his left wrist and you did a double-take when you noticed that his watch was wrapped around skin, not vibranium.

"Your arm." You said, sounding more like a statement than a question and Bucky forced himself to tear his gaze from your exposed thigh and tried to hide his pink dusted cheeks and breathless intake of air as his eyes followed yours to his metal arm, now concealed by what looked to be skin.

"Yeah." His voice came out as a sigh. He didn't know why, most amputees like him he was sure would be over the moon with the impressive technology, but it just made him uncomfortable, seeing his arm how he did 70 years ago. I felt inherently wrong. "Tony."

You nodded, looking away from his hand. A part of you was annoyed Tony had given it to him, knowing that it took Bucky years to accept that part of himself, and this seemed like it would be a setback in that department, though you still understood why it was necessary, Bucky was the best for the job, and chances are a criminal as 'highbrow' as Kozlov, would recognise the arm.

You wanted to change the subject, and you could tell Bucky did too, so you huffed a laugh and met his eyes, jokingly poking his chest with your finger, "You look like a mobster."

He nodded and chuckled, "Thanks, I guess. You look like a mobster's wife."

"Wife huh? Is that what we're doing?" You ask, turning your head to look down at Nat questioningly as she finished with your dress.

"Did they not tell you?" Bucky asked and you shook your head.

"I missed the briefing but Steve here thought he'd sign me up anyway." You gave the blonde a jokey, reprimanding look and he sighed, picking up two folders from the table and handing them to you.

"Blue one is about Kozlov, and the black is about who you and Bucky are going to be playing."

You take the folders from Steve, handing the blue one to Natasha as you open the black one, "James and Lucille Walter. Hey, how come he gets to keep his name and I get Lucille?"

"That's just a coincidence and I'm sure Bucky isn't too happy about it either. You're pretending to be a real couple, James Walter is one of Kozlov's newest buyers, he doesn't know him very well though, that's why you two shouldn't be caught out by anyone."

Nodding to Steve's words, you quickly skim over the rest of the folder, memorising as much as you can, before swapping with Nat and reading the other one, "And where are the real James and Lucille Walter?"

"Dead."

You stop your reading and turn to Natasha at the sound of her voice, giving her a look when she tried to hide her smirk.

"Ah, yes. Courtesy of Natasha Romanoff herself, Mr and Mrs Walter are in fact, dead" Steve spoke dramatically, causing you to scoff and wink at the redhead beside you.

"We should leave now. I'll explain further in the car and give you a rundown of the plan. Should be an easy job." Bucky takes the folders from you and tucks them under his arm, signalling for you to walk out the door and you give Steve and Natasha a smirk before you leave.

"Wish me luck guys."

_______________________________________

You were picked up from the compound by one of Stark's trusted drivers and Bucky described the plan in detail to you on the way there, but as you arrived closer and closer to your destination, you felt the nerves come on.

Usually, you were behind a computer screen on missions, hacking security cameras and breaking into encrypted files, you had no doubt of your fighting skills, you've been training almost your whole life, and the few missions you've done where you've had to fight were smooth sailing, but you had never done undercover before.

You started nibbling on your lower lip as soon as the car pulled up, doubting yourself again despite the amount of times Natasha has given you a whole speech about why you had no reason to ever do that.

The door on Bucky's side opened and when he offered you his arm to help you out of the car, meeting your eyes and giving you a gentle smile, you felt the nerves calm slightly.

You and Bucky were close in a way that no one had expected, considering he had the tendency to keep himself away from people and stay quiet when he was forced to socialise. You were slow-paced and gentle with him, a huge contrast to the way Sam would constantly be on Bucky about his lack of social skills, or Tony dragging him to parties he had no interest in. Sam always has the best intentions, but sometimes can be a little too enthusiastic for Bucky, and Tony, well sometimes Tony's just a dick with full knowledge of the fact that he's being one, and not a single care in the world about it.

You and Bucky both had an understanding, you had confided in him about your fears, your anxiety, and he had managed to do the same.

You just couldn't help but develop a teeny tiny crush on him over the past few months.

"Don't work yourself up, stay in character, stay alert, and remember the plan."

Nodding to him, you took a deep breath and put yourself into character, reminding yourself of yours and Bucky's new names, keeping your head up as you entered the party, an expensive diamond wrapped around your left ring finger with a similar pattern to the silver band Bucky had on his.

The hall was beautiful, gold detailing adorned the large doors and walls, reaching up to the ceiling to create beautiful patterns against the pristine white of the building. The party-goers were even more beautiful, hundreds of gowns and suits worth more than your life, probably bought and worn for a single night, before they're discarded and forgotten in the back of their walk-in closets.

You felt like you didn't fit in at all, but you watched as party guests eyed the two of you, and they seemed to be approving.

It didn't take you and Bucky long to get situated, stood in the corner of the extravagant hall with a glass of champagne now in your hand as you surveyed the exits and bodyguards, and Bucky looked for the target.

The mission was just a small lead in a huge investigation. You and Bucky were just here to buy something from Kozlov and then get out.

"Got him, 4 o-clock. He's surrounded but he should be expecting us so it shouldn't be an issue." Bucky had leant down to whisper in your ear, his breath tickling against your neck and causing a shiver to rake over your shoulders.

Fuck, he smelled like sin too.

It made you want to take a deeper breath, made you want to pull him even closer, close enough to close that small gap between your lips and kiss him till you run out of breath, and as much as that would be inconspicuous and normal for James and Lucille Walter, it would be completely inappropriate for Bucky and Y/n.

"We shouldn't go over yet. Let's just mingle a bit, get more of a feel of this place and blend into the background as much as we can." You add, and Bucky nods, surveying the room again before meeting your eyes.

"Good idea, but when we do go over, don't make eye contact with him and don't say anything," said Bucky. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, giving him a slightly annoyed, but understanding smile, and he smiled back apologetically, "I know, it's stupid, but that's what these guys are like. If he so much as thinks that you're either, on the table or threatening his masculinity, we're in trouble. Okay?"

You understood what Bucky was saying, men like Kozlov, they see women as property, or in some cases, currency. It's best to stay off their radar as best you can, which includes not threatening his masculinity by daring to look him in the eyes.

Women were to keep their heads down.

Which was bullshit.

"Okay."

He gives you a final nod and you think he's finally about to pull away and have mercy on your heart, but before he does, he pauses and presses his soft, warm lips to your cheek in a gentle kiss.

Air gets caught in your throat as it happens, but you try not to make an audible noise, quickly pulling yourself together and reminding yourself that you and Bucky are pretending to be a couple and he's just trying to sell it better. It makes sense.

It's just pretend.

You spend the whole evening with your hand wrapped around Bucky's bicep, neither of you breaking apart for anything as random people come up to you and try to start conversations. Usually, one of you will take one for the team and has to stand there talking about money and beach houses for five minutes, plus the occasional question about kids, which seemed to make Bucky blush every time, as the other keeps an eye on Kozlov.

"So how long have you two been married?" A seemingly kind lady asks, her red dress matching her lips as they stretch into an awkward smile.

"A year in June," You respond, well-rehearsed at this point as you smile up at your pretend husband, "Can't believe how quickly it's going."

Bucky is quick thinking with the act, and he smiles down at you, his arm wrapping gently around your waist and squeezing you to his side. Your heart probably stopped beating for a moment, and you wondered how he got so good at this, before brushing the thought away and looking back to the woman in the red dress, smiling warmly at her too.

"Ah, bet you two are still in the honeymoon phase. You look completely smitten with each other, it's adorable." She scrunched her nose up on the word 'adorable', her gaze flicking between the two of you before she glanced at her own husband, standing a few feet away as he laughed with a larger group of men, a big glass of whiskey in his hand. She sighed.

You tried to keep your face neutral, smiling and nodding along, but something about what she had said had caught in your chest, and you wished you could see just for a moment from someone else's eyes, just how 'smitten' you both look.

You felt bad for the woman, who stood in the middle of the huge ballroom completely alone and abandoned by her husband, but there wasn't anything you could do for her, and Bucky was subtly hinting to you that you were to go speak with Kozlov soon, so you kissed her cheek and bid her goodbye.

You spared Bucky a quick glance and he was focused on Kozlov, his face stoic as he glanced in his direction discreetly, scanning the exits too, checking for close-by security cameras and windows again, just in case.

"I think it's time, doll." He murmured.

You quickly lift your head to meet his eyes, the pet-name he usually only used when you were tipsy and would brush it off casually, slipping off his tongue, though it had the same effect sober or not, you blushed and nodded.

He smiled at you, almost looking fond, though you were pretty sure he was just offering you a break from the stoic, mission orientated Bucky, before he took a deep breath and reached for your hand on his bicep to hold it with his own, gently squeezing before guiding you towards the target.

As you walked Kozlov's way, who was surrounded by burly, most definitely armed bodyguards, you noticed the women surrounding him too, some with their husbands and all of them looking beyond uncomfortable, staring out at the party with bored, or even nervous expressions.

"James Walter," Bucky nodded to one of the bodyguards, who had stopped you both from passing, and the bodyguard shared a look with another, before nodding and letting you walk on.

Daniel Kozlov was sat comfortably in a velvet armchair as he swirled a glass of whiskey in his hand, seemingly stuck in a boring conversation as he stared at the wall before him, completely uninterested in what the man talking to him had to say.

"Mr Kozlov, I'm James Walter, It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

Kozlov perked up at the sound of a new voice and a wide, Cheshire cat grin formed on his lips as he regarded you and Bucky, though you kept your eyes to the floor, or seemingly 'admiring' the expensive decorations as the men spoke.

"Ah, my new friend! I was hoping you'd show up, had a few men flake out on me recently," The man spoke dramatically, his thick European accent prevalent and images of his file flashed in your head, remembering that Shield had been taking down his buyers one by one, either arresting them on other charges or putting a bullet between their eyes as Natasha had done with the real Mr and Mrs Walter.

They weren't particularly very nice people, so you didn't hold much guilt for their deaths, or stealing their identity after the fact.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, sir. Heard you've got something I have my interests set on." Bucky's voice was smooth and charismatic, matching Kozlov's energy as best he could, and you couldn't lie, it made your blood run warmer, heat spreading to certain parts of your body you were ashamed to admit were reacting to the confidence he exuded tonight.

"Hm... I suppose I do. Do you always allow your wife to be a part of your deals?" Your looked up slightly at his mention of you, and Kozlov smirked wickedly at the expression on your face, "Women can be god-awful gossips sometimes."

This fucking guy-

Bucky squeezed your hand tightly, forcing the words from his tongue, "I assure you, sir. She is nothing to worry about."

He was just as pissed as you were.

"I don't know, she doesn't really seem like the quiet type, I reckon she's a loud-mouth once she's on her back, although I'm sure having her on her knees will shut her up nice and quiet." He chuckled darkly and Bucky's hand was holding yours so tight, his jaw clenching and unclenching, measured breaths exhaled through his nose, he still managed to keep his face blank though, as did you, quietly seething as you put on the frightened baby deer look that men seemed to love, staring down at the floor.

He needed to think you were in the same position as the other poor, frightened women here, that he'd get bored with you all the same.

You swallowed your tongue though, wanting nothing more than to speak up and put the bastard in his place, right before beating the absolute shit out of him, though you knew that would come in due time, for now all you could do was finish this fucking mission.

"She won't be a problem."

Kozlov laughed, knowing he was getting under James' skin. He stood from the armchair and nodded towards Bucky, the smile sinking, trying to look intimidating, despite the fact that he was practically less than half the size of Bucky, "Make your payment."

Bucky pulled a phone from his pocket, sending a single word in a text and waiting for the confirmation only seconds later, before tucking it away again, "Payment made."

Daniel looked over at a man sat in the corner with a laptop and when he nodded, he turned back to look at Bucky, his hand sneaking into his own pocket and pulling out a hard drive, handing it to Bucky before taking a step back and looking you up and down.

"What's your name, sweetheart?"

You swallowed your irritation, narrowly avoiding the urge to roll your eyes at the way he was eyeing you like a piece of meat, Bucky opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by a glare.

"I asked the wife, not you. Name?" He spoke through gritted teeth, obviously quick to anger, and you fought back the urge to fucking bitch slap him, take the dagger from your thigh and press it to his neck, but you were sticking to the deer in headlights act.

"Lucille."

A smirk overtook his face, a healed scar on his cheek stretching as he did so, "Pretty name for a pretty thing."

At this point, Bucky was squeezing your hand so hard again, your fingers were starting to go numb, the rings he was wearing digging uncomfortably into your skin, but you didn't pull away, instead, you returned the tight grip to try to reassure him.

Taking a step closer to you, Daniel Kozlov lifted his hand to your cheek, making you flinch slightly and you clenched your jaw when the back of his hand caressed your cheek, his skin ice-cold against yours.

"I happen to collect pretty things."

Bucky felt sick to his stomach, knowing that he couldn't do anything besides stand there and watch, stepping out of line in any way would end in a fight, and he knew he couldn't risk lives, or the mission.

A part of you was expecting him to backhand you, but he never did Instead, he touched your cheek for a while longer, glancing over at Bucky with a smile before he took a step away from you and laughed at the murderous look Bucky was trying to hide, he knew that Bucky was in a position where there wasn't much he could do to stop him, and he openly mocked him for it, "I could take her off your hands for the night for you, teach her some manners. Maybe she'll learn to answer her superiors quickly, when they ask her a question."

"Not necessary." Bucky's voice was scarily even, but his jaw was aching from how hard he was grinding his teeth together and he started pulling you closer to him, shooting Kozlov a dangerous glare, "I think it's time we leave."

"Of course, of course. No doubt you need to get her to bed."

Bucky ignored his words and turned, pushing his way past the bodyguards and pulling you along by your hand, making you stumble in your heels.

"James." You called out as you tried to catch up with him. His grip on your hand was starting to hurt again but he kept walking with intent, pulling you out of the grand doors at the entrance to the hall and towards the expensive car you had arrived in.

He handed the driver a wad of cash and told him to leave, giving him a silent glare which obviously meant 'fuck off' when the guy hesitated.

As Bucky pulled open the passenger seat door and helped you into the car, you glared at him, though when he ducked his head into the car and leant over you to put your seatbelt on for you, the intensity behind the glare faded and you were left just staring wide eyed at him, and instead of yelling at him and telling him that you were perfectly capable of doing your own seatbelt, you were lost for words with how close his body was to yours, his breath fanning against your bare shoulder.

You could only breathe when he pulled away and slammed the door shut, rounding the car to get into the driver's seat, not sparing you another glance as he turned on the engine and put the car into gear, speeding off into the city.

his frustration and anger filled the space with tension.

"Bucky, you need to calm down," You tried but he continued to ignore you, one hand on the gear stick and the other gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. You sighed, his frustration and anger filled the space with tension, and you concluded that he was a grown man who could calm himself down.

You dropped your head against the seat as you focused on the view outside your window, the lights of the city burning bright against the night sky.

You glanced at the side-view mirror, and rolled your eyes when you realised it was the same car that was behind you when you left the party, "We're being followed."

Bucky's hearing was obviously working. When he heard what you said, his eyes lifted to the rear-view mirror and he sighed heavily, "Fuck."

"Where are we gonna go? None of the safehouses are fancy enough for Mr and Mrs Walter."

"We'll have to go to a hotel, they shouldn't give us any trouble unless we seem suspicious. There's no way Kozlov would have us killed immediately after a sale, too risky," You nod at his words, knowing that Bucky was an expert at things like this due to his past with Hydra, he knew how men like Kozlov worked, how their brains ticked, and you trusted him completely. "Okay, I know where to go." He said as you kept an eye on the car, taking note of the plate number and trying to get a view of the person driving it, "Text Nat with the burner in my pocket, tell her we'll be at The Pierre, tell her to bring backup just in case but keep them minimally armed, it's just a precaution."

You sigh again, looking away from the car behind you and back to Bucky, "Which pocket?"

"Inside pocket, left side."

You nibbled on your lower lip as you reached over to him, and he tilted his body to you slightly in assistance. Bucky gulped, and you blushed as your hands brushed against his shirt when you reached into his suit jacket, searching for the pocket.

His body was incredibly warm and it only made you want to draw out the situation even longer as Bucky fought to keep his concentration on the road and the car behind, but eventually, your fingers brushed against the phone and you hesitantly pulled it out and sat back in your seat, a long exhale coming from him as you did so and he readjusted his grip on the steering wheel, shooting you a quick glance, his gaze falling to how exposed your thigh had become with the movement, though he tore his eyes away quickly.

You slipped the phone back into Bucky's pocket once you had received Natasha's quick response, and Bucky pulled up to the hotel. You watched in quiet amusement as the man following parked not-so-discreetly, a bit further down the street.

"Remember who your playing." Bucky shot you a final glance as he turned off the ignition and got out of the car, straightening out his suit jacket as he walked to the passenger side and pulled open the door, offering his arm to you and helping you out of the car.

You hated how real it all felt, him doting on you when you were trying desperately hard to convince yourself it was an act, but you still wrapped both your hands around his arm, draping yourself against his side as you walked towards the entrance, telling yourself that you did it only for the upkeep of the ruse.

The tension between you was undeniable as Bucky looked down at you, his expression serious, but not stern, only intense.

"James? Are we going in?" You asked, using his fake yet real name and it seemed to wake him from his daze, nodding as he reminded himself of his surroundings and the man now wandering closer to them, his phone to his ear, though he didn't speak into it.

"Course, doll. Just admiring my wife's beauty in the city lights."

Your mouth fell open slightly at his words but he didn't give you much time to react before he was walking you into the hotel, and you were thankful that he wasn't dragging you this time.

Bucky didn't waste any time, quickly moving to one of the people running the front desk and glaring down at him.

"Name?"

"James Walter," He spoke and the man nodded, typing something out on his computer before handing Bucky a black key-card, giving him a fearful smile.

Stepping away from the front desk, Bucky moved to your left as he discreetly put his hand into his pocket and slipped the burner phone into your hand, and you switched the phone into your right hand once you realised his plan, tossing the phone into the garbage bag on the back of a janitors cart before walking into the elevator.

You sighed heavily as you both finally entered the hotel room, trudging to the bed in the middle of the giant room and collapsing on it as Bucky started scoping out the room, quickly checking the bathroom and shutting all the curtains.

"We're going to have to stay here all night, aren't we? That guy isn't gonna go anywhere." You sighed, closing your eyes as you sunk into the mattress.

"One bed." Bucky said, and you peaked your eyes open one at a time, moving your gaze to the man now slouched in the armchair tucked into the corner of the large room, still looking beyond annoyed.

"Huh?"

His jaw ticked in annoyance as his head fell back against the chair, "There's only one bed."

Oh.

"Oh," You sat up on the bed, looking around the room awkwardly.

You didn't really want to think about what that could mean, it either formed butterflies in your stomach, or disappointment.

He didn't have to act so upset about it.

"Is it that bad?" You scoffed, half joking, half serious, and Bucky lifted his head, his eyes widening, lips parted.

"No, that's not what I-" He cut himself off, sighing and furrowing his eyebrows, looking guilty, "Sorry. I'm just so fucking annoyed."

You smiled and nodded, "I know, me too. We're one step closer to getting this guy though, Buck."

He nodded too, eyes closing again, his jaw unclenching, finding some kind of relief in your words.

"We don't have to share if you don't want, but I'm okay with it if you are. I trust you. Plus, we've fallen asleep on the couch together before, can't be that much different." You shrugged, acting nonchalant, although you felt extremely not, as you stood up, sick of the feeling of your knife's handle digging uncomfortably in your skin.

You pulled your skirt up to expose your other thigh, lifting your right foot to rest on the bed, while making sure not to flash Bucky in the process as you pull the dagger out, throwing it back on the bed, leaving the garter on for now.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight, watching as your dagger glided against the skin of your thigh as you removed it from yourself, tossing it onto the white bed sheets before dropping your foot back to the floor.

"No it's... I don't- uh." He trailed off, losing his train of thought, obviously distracted.

You looked at him, eyes dropping to follow the movement of his tongue wetting his lips, and you knew you'd never get the sight of him right now out of your mind. His legs were spread, sitting comfortably in the chair, one of his arms draped over the arm of the chair, while he rested his elbow with the other one, holding his head up with his thumb and index finger on the side of his tilted head.

He regarded you silently, his eyes dazed, and you wondered if it could possibly be because he was feeling the same exact way as you right now.

Bucky was struggling to think straight, scrunching his face up in frustration when he finally snapped out of his daze, the frustration completely different to what he was feeling before, now he just couldn't get the image of your thighs out of his mind, or the black thigh garter you still wore under your dress.

God, you drive him fucking crazy.

You chewed the inside of your cheek when he sighed again, "Buck, you need to chill out. I know Kozlov is a fucking asshole, but we expected that. We got the mission done with no big issues."

He stared up at the ceiling, feeling so guilty that he was looking at you that way, thinking about you in that way, especially after the reminder of Kozlov and how undoubtedly uncomfortable he must've made you feel.

"I know, I just hate feeling powerless. That prick was touching you and saying horrible shit and I just stood there-"

"Bucky."

He huffed a breath and opened his eyes, only to be met with the beautiful sight of you stood before him, only a few feet away, your dress clinging to all the right places and your eyes locked to his and he felt a familiar heat stirring up inside him again. He stared up at you as if you were a heaven-sent angel.

The tension in the room was so thick, and you both knew why, though neither of you had the guts to admit, nor say anything about it.

Your intentions were pure at first, and for some reason, on the way towards where he was sitting, you never thought about the very un-pure version of your actions until you were stood in front of him, barely thinking about it when you sunk to your knees before him, your hands resting just above his knees on his spread legs.

At first, you told yourself it was because you wanted to talk to him properly, make sure he was okay, and that included you being on his level physically, but now you realised it was mostly because you so desperately wanted to see him like this, his gaze heated, looking down at you between his thighs with parted lips.

It didn't matter that you were the one on your knees, you'd never felt more powerful.

His gaze was unwavering, the intense, lustful look in his eyes alone had you clenching your thighs together as you thought about your next move, and Bucky lifted one of his hands towards your face, brushing the back of his fingers down your cheek, just as Kozlov had done earlier, though this touch was completely different, and your eyes fluttered shut, a sigh escaping you as his fingers caressed your cheek, ridding the memory of Kozlov's cold skin against yours with his soft, warm touch, and you pulled your eyes open to meet his again, lifting your hand to take hold of his.

You looked down at the rings he was wearing, one on almost each finger, apparently it was a common style choice from James Walter, and it wasn't the first time tonight that you'd silently thanked the dead mobster for that fact.

They'd been catching your eye all night, and you lifted his knuckles to your lips, placing a kiss against the smooth metal of the first one on his index finger, and then the next one, and the next.

Bucky watched you kiss his rings, his eyes darkening with every touch of your soft lips to his knuckles, so entranced by you, slowly sinking further into the seat, melting with each touch.

He couldn't think of any repercussions right now, couldn't think of a single reason to stop you, all he could think about was what you were doing to him right now, and where these actions could lead you, and his pants were getting tighter by the second.

You met his eyes with your lips still on his knuckles, and you both immediately knew what this was, where this could be going, and that the thick tension between you, was sexual tension like no other.

Bucky's heart must've stopped when you opened his fist and slipped his index and middle finger past your lips, enveloping them in the hot, wetness of your mouth, your soft tongue circling over his digits, sucking on them, He couldn't help but groan, leaning his head back, though still keeping his half-lidded eyes on you.

"Fuck, doll. So fuckin' gorgeous."

You weren't thinking straight, you must not've been, because why the hell would you be doing this, why was it something you didn't even have to question, why did it feel so natural, and so fucking right.

The words that slipped past his lips were doing things to you, and the way that his fingers pressed down on your tongue slightly, but weren't nearly as heavy against it as something else you wanted on your tongue would be, you were a goner, and your underwear was already soaked.

You pulled his fingers from your mouth but kept hold of them as you crawled onto his lap, his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, holding you to him, his lips so close to yours you were sharing breath.

Slowly, you guided his fingers down, sliding them under the slit in your dress to bring them to your covered core, watching his facial expression intently, watching for any sign of discomfort.

There was none, and his breath caught in his throat when his fingers made contact, the heat of you radiating against his hand, he could already feel how wet you are.

"Fuck." He breathed, eyebrows furrowing, forehead resting on yours, "You sure about this sweetheart? You want me to touch you?"

You nodded immediately, biting your lower lip, pressing his hand against you harder, "Yes. Are you sure?"

He nodded back, "Never been more sure about anything in my fuckin' life."

You moaned when he finally started moving his fingers, circling your clit gently over your underwear, though with enough pressure to give some sort of relief, but it was when he pulled your panties aside, and dipped his fingers into your wetness, spreading your folds and gathering your slick, before pressing his fingers against your clit and rubbing you in tighter circles, that you were a mess in his lap.

"Bucky-" You whimpered, rolling your hips slightly, and he licked his lips again, nudging his nose against yours, wanting so desperately to kiss you, but also not wanting to miss a single expression you made, he wanted to watch you fall apart under his touch, again, and again, and again.

"You know something, sweetheart?" He asked, waiting for confirmation that you were paying attention to him before continuing.

You rolled your hips again, staring into his eyes, moaning out in pleasure, "What?"

"You drove me fucking crazy tonight, every time you touched me, every time you looked at me- God, whenever you said my name- I'd never heard you call me that before, my first name, fuck I don't ever want to stop hearin' you callin' me that."

His words made you dizzy, the confirmation that he'd felt the same as you all night, the confession that he loved it when you called him 'James' just as much as you loved calling him it, you were sinking deeper and deeper into this feeling, that this moment couldn't be more right, more necessary, like you'd both been needing this for months now.

By the time he had finished talking, he had slowed his touch to a complete stop, and dipped his fingers lower, pushing them inside you.

You gasped, he groaned, and when he curled them, finding that sweet spot inside you and pushing against it perfectly, you cried out, dropping your forehead to his shoulder and tucking your face in his neck.

He didn't let up with his gentle thrusting, and the insistent rubbing against that spongy spot inside of your cunt. He used his free hand to move your head from his shoulder, leaning himself forward slightly, holding you closer, and finally kissing you.

You whimpered and moaned against his lips, though returned the kiss passionately, both of your hands in his hair, your tongue gliding against his own.

This was unlike any experience you'd ever had, every touch dialled up to 100.

He used his thumb to rub your clit, still curling and rubbing his fingers against your walls, and when you started to clench down on him, he pulled back from the kiss.

"C'mon, kitten, cum on my fingers like a good girl." He purred, and your head tilted back, moaning as you came, your orgasm only spurred on quicker by his words.

"James-" You whimpered, his touch not letting up as he pleasured you through your orgasm, though when you were through most of it, you crashed your lips to his.

You kissed until you ran out of breath, doing exactly what you had wanted to do earlier, what you had wanted to do for months. Bucky gently eased his fingers out of you, and when you tucked your face in his neck again, catching your breath, you could tell he was sucking them clean, moaning at the taste of you.

It was quiet for a moment between you, only the gentle sound of your slightly laboured breath filling the space, Bucky held you close to him, his fingers gently tracing up and down your spine through the fabric of your dress, you gave a pleased hum and kissed his neck, just above his collar.

It didn't matter that you'd just barely come down from an orgasm, you needed more, you needed him.

"James." You whispered against his neck, just below his ear and he just about melted into the chair beneath you, humming to let you know he was listening, though you didn't say anything else, a part of you just wanted to say his name again, and to feel his pleased reaction to it.

His body was so warm under yours, but there were far too many layers of fabric between you and him and you desperately wanted to fix that, 'adjusting' yourself on his lap just so you could provide some friction between you, biting your lip and sighing into his ear when you felt how hard he was beneath you, he groaned and gripped your hips tightly.

"I wanna feel you inside me, James." Your voice was as sweet as sugar, breath warm against his skin, and your heated core was seated just above where his hard cock was pressing tightly against his pants, throbbing with every small movement you made.

"Fuck, sweetheart." He husked, no doubt sounding like a broken record, though he didn't care much about that, not when you were pressing yourself against him like that, slowly rocking in his lap, not when he could still faintly taste you in his mouth from where he had sucked his fingers clean, not with your mouth on his neck, whispering dirty things.

You kissed the hinge of his jaw, then ghosted your lips lower, pressing a kiss just below his ear, before making your way to the other side, leaving sweet kisses as you went.

You met his eye as you traced your hand up his black shirt, watching his expression as you slowly loosened his tie, and popped the top button open, and then the next, giving yourself better access to the skin there, kissing below his Adam's apple.

"C'mon, Buck. You wanna fuck me?" You asked, looking up at him through your lashes this time, teasing him with a smirk.

He bit his lip, holding your cheek in his palm, thumb swiping across your cheekbone, his eyes darting across your face, taking in every detail he could while he was so close to you.

So pretty.

"I do, of course I do, doll." He said back, his eyes following the movement of his thumb against soft skin. You could sense the 'but' coming, "But... I don't think we should-"

"Bucky." You interrupted, stopping what you know would've become this huge, self-doubting, self-sabotaging speech, and he met your eyes again, sighing slightly, his head tilted, "If we both want this, then why can't we have it?"

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't imagine a world were someone would really want him, as he was, much less a smart, loving and kind, beautiful girl like yourself. He believed you when you said you wanted this, but was still unsure if you would really want him, want him beyond this moment.

"If we go further, I'll never be able to get enough of you." He spoke quietly, this moment between you was so intimate, which was something he'd not experienced in decades. It was terrifying, but so perfect, so right.

"You have all of me, Bucky. I want you, not just tonight. I've wanted you for months, honey, and if you want me too then what have we got to lose? You can have me whenever you need me, whenever you want me, I'm yours, yours now, yours tomorrow. If you need a hug," You wrapped your arms around his neck as you spoke and held him tighter, "If you need a kiss," You pressed your lips to his, "If you need a release; I'll be there, because you have me, always have."

By the time you were just halfway into your speech, Bucky was a puddle, his brain short-circuiting, his heart beating much faster than it should be with him just sitting, and his whole world view collapsing.

You were his.

You wanted to be his.

He was yours completely.

He surged forward to press his lips to yours, and kissed you for a long moment, using his tongue to memorise the feel of your mouth, the heat of your own tongue against his, and he stood as he kissed you, holding you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He carried you with such ease and sat down on the edge of the huge bed, not once breaking the kiss, or putting an ounce space between your bodies.

You helped him to shrug off his suit jacket, tossing it to the floor as if it didn't probably cost hundreds of dollars, and deft fingers quickly reached to undo his tie.

The tie was silky and smooth, and your imagination was bright with ideas, the image of Bucky fucking you, with your hands tied above your head, or maybe tying Bucky up just the same, kissing his cock teasingly, without letting him touch you.

You tabled the ideas for now, tossing the tie aside.

You could experiment with him in due time, for now you just wanted to be able to touch him as much as possible.

You were both still enraptured in the kiss when Bucky stood again, this time turning around, and laying you down on the mattress, pressing himself against you as he placed one last kiss on your lips, and pulled back to admire the sight of you, blushing with kiss-bitten lips as you lay beneath him.

He traced his hands down your body and stood at the end of the bed, his shirt almost halfway undone.

His fingers glided down your legs, and ended at your ankles as he eyed the strappy heals you wore, admiring how beautiful you looked in them. He imagined keeping them on you, stripping you down and bending you over the closest surface, whilst still wearing the heels, maybe keeping on the thigh-garter too, but he wanted you comfortable, and he wanted you naked.

Gently, he undid the strap on one of your heels, and slowly pulled it off, before doing the same to the other one.

He kept glancing up at you as he did so, watching you so intently, he didn't dare miss a single moment, a single change in your expression.

His hands traced back up your legs, this time, he kissed his way up too, kissing you ankle, your shin, just below the garter.

He stopped himself though, and looked you in the eyes, that serious look returning, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes. Please, James."

He smirked, he couldn't not, and his hand drifted to your hip, squeezing there, before using both his hands to flip you over, leaning over you and pressing his hand against your back.

You gasped in surprise, and then felt his fingers against the zip of the dress, his breath against the nape of your neck.

"Should we take this off?" He asked sweetly, and you nodded silently, your voice trapped in your throat, that cocky, dominant persona you had taken on earlier apparently about to be fucked out of you. You couldn't wait.

He flipped you back over to help ease the dress off, leaving you only in a lacy pair of underwear, your chest exposed to him, and once the dress was on the floor, and Bucky allowed himself the chance to finally look at you, he groaned roughly, draping his body over yours and reaching up to caress your breasts, watching as his thumb traced over the hardened peaks of your nipples, "So fucking gorgeous."

Your hands were in his hair, back arching into his touch when he took your nipple into his mouth, paying attention to the other one with his fingers, and as much as you were enjoying it, he was still wearing way too much, and you put your fingers under his chin, pulling his mouth away from you.

He kissed you as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it off, quickly followed by his pants and soon you were both left in your underwear.

You pushed at his shoulder, and he eventually got the memo, and rolled aside, letting you sit on top of him, carefully moving the dagger you had left on the bed onto the bedside table.

When you pulled back from the kiss, he continued to kiss down your chest, but your eyes drifted to the hand he had on your waist, the left one, that still looked like skin even though it wasn't.

You had almost completely forgotten about it, it felt just like skin, was warm like skin, and looked unbelievably life-like, but there was something about it that you really didn't like, it wasn't him, it might've been once, but as Bucky has told you before, he's not been the man he was back in the 40s in over seventy years, and he probably wouldn't ever be him again, which you reminded him was okay, that he didn't owe Steve the version of himself that Bucky thought he would need.

You knew about the struggles Bucky has had with his metal arm, the history that there is behind it, and the hatred he had for it when he was first rehabilitated. You didn't want this impressive Stark invention to become something he used to hide this part of himself, against the needs of his own healing.

You started at his left shoulder, and traced your fingers down the arm, stopping at the silver watch on his wrist, and Bucky stopped kissing you, watching you, waiting.

"Is it the watch?" You asked, and he hesitated, before nodding.

"You don't have to take it off."

You paused, looking down at him, he looked slightly uncomfortable, and you needed to change that.

"I'd like to take it off. Do you want to leave it on?"

He was quiet for a moment, thinking about your question. It made him uncomfortable, seeing the uncanny, flesh arm in place of the metal one he knew was there, and to see a human arm, yet not be able to really feel the touch of your skin against it, only pressure and heat. He didn't like it.

He shook his head, and you smiled, kissing him again as you carefully undid the watch with your mouth still on his, pulling back to see his metal arm visible again, and you intertwined your fingers with his, metal against skin.

You did the same with his other hand, intertwining your fingers, before lifting them both above his head, pressing them into the mattress. You knew he could very easily break out of your grasp, but that didn't make the sight any less pleasing.

You rocked your hips against his, just as you did before, and he groaned, lifting his own hips, seeking more friction.

Reluctantly, you released his hands, and quickly took off your underwear, leaving you naked above him, before you took his off too.

You couldn't possibly be any wetter, your inner thighs a mess of slick as you watched his cock slap against his stomach, painfully hard and leaking at the tip.

"Fuck, James. D'you know how beautiful you are?" You asked, slowly touching the underside of his cock, tracing an enticing vein, before gripping him in your hand and squeezing him.

A moan slipped past his lips, hips lifting from the bed again.

He shook his head in response to you, smiling, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

He flipped you both over again, his hands tracing your body, lingering in certain areas, squeezing your breasts, caressing your stomach, lifting your thigh to rest on his hip, dipping between your legs to press down on your clit, "You're fuckin' breathtaking, doll, and so fucking wet."

He gathered some of your wetness on his fingers, and dipped them back into his mouth again for a taste, moaning around them.

"I wanna eat you so bad, kitten." He lowered himself to you, resting on his elbows on either side of your head, kissing your neck.

"Later. I need you inside me, James." You pressed your core against him, and he nodded, reaching between the two of you to line himself up, slowly easing inside.

You both moaned as he slid inside you, Bucky's eyes fluttering shut, savouring the sensation whilst trying desperately hard not to give in to the urge to immediately bury himself at the hilt, and fuck you without a moments hesitation.

His hips twitched, cock throbbing inside of you, both of you were so desperate for this, and when he finally pulled his hips back, and rolled them back to yours, it was relief like no other.

His first few thrusts were slower, so enraptured by how you felt around him, hot and wet, and fucking perfect. Eventually, he started to speed up, but favoured fucking you harder, rather than faster. He didn't want this to end too quickly.

You were sprawled beneath him, biting your lower lip and moaning with every stroke of his cock against your walls, his body completely draped over yours so with every roll of his hips, his pelvis stimulated your clit. When he started to fuck you harder, repeatedly hitting a spot deep inside you that made you see stars, you were crying out in pleasure, already feeling close to another orgasm.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you feel so good, y'know that? I'm never gonna get enough of this, gonna want to fuck you all the time, 'm never gonna think of anything else." His forehead was resting on your shoulder, one of his hands on your stomach as his other held him up on the bed, "I want you to be mine. Mine to fuck, mine to kiss, mine every minute of the day. God, I want everyone to know, sweetheart, want them to know you're James' girl."

You were moaning with every word, nodding along, whining when his hand drifted lower, his thumb hovering over your clit, but staying completely still, teasing you.

Your heart was so full, just like your cunt, and you hoped to god he'd follow through on his promises, you needed to be his, just as much as you needed him to be yours.

"James, please." You begged, arching your back into him, and he lifted his head from your shoulder to look at you, smiling with a shake of his head.

"You beg real pretty, doll, but you can do better than that. Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

Your eyes practically rolled back, fuck, you loved hearing him talk like this, "I want to cum, please."

He nodded, leaning in close to you, "You want to cum? I'll let you cum, princess."

He began to rub your clit in steady circles, keeping up a steady rhythm that dragged you so close to release.

"C'mon, come for me, sweetheart."

Your eyes fluttered shut as your orgasm rushed over you, and you gripped Bucky's hair tighter, your cunt clenching around him sending him head first into his own orgasm, his hips stuttering against yours as he came inside you, filling you up with his seed.

His forehead was pressed to yours, both of you slowly coming down from your high, and Bucky waited till you'd caught your breath to lean down and kiss you, slower this time, savouring the taste of you as best he could.

You kissed him back eagerly, aftershocks of your orgasm washing over you and making you clench down on him, still inside of you. Bucky groaned into your mouth, before he hesitantly broke the kiss, and leaned back to slide out of you.

"Fuck, sweetheart, such a fucking mess we made." He breathed roughly, glancing down between your legs, watching his cum seep out of you, so turned on by the filthy sight, before looking up at you again, tracing his eyes up your body, completely bared to him. He took in every detail, and smiled at your flushed cheeks, "You're so fucking beautiful."

You smiled back at him, shaking your head as you wrapped your legs around him and reached out, pulling him back down to you to nudge your nose against his, watching the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled, "So are you."

He huffed a laugh and kissed you, before burying his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you and holding you as close to him as possible, practically laying completely on top of you, though he held most of his own weight. As much as you would completely, happily welcome the weight of him on top of you, you also know that breathing is kind of a necessary thing to survive... sadly.

"We need to shower." He murmured against your skin, rubbing his stubbly jaw against your shoulder.

You hummed and nodded, raking your nails across the surface of his back.

"We should probably talk too." He followed, keeping his face hidden from your sight.

"We should, but I don't think there's much to talk about that we haven't already. We both want each other, and not just physically."

He lifted his head and gazed down at you, his expression vulnerable, more vulnerable than you'd ever seen him, even with him naked above you, "So... like lovers?"

You smiled at the old-fashioned term, much preferring it to boyfriend and girlfriend, and you nodded, gently brushing hair from his face, "I'd love that, Buck, if you want that too?"

"Yes, I want that, so much."

"Good, let's make it official then."

He nodded smiling down at you, before he stood from the bed, and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you to the hotel en-suite like he had carried you to the bed earlier.

"You're my girl now, sweetheart." He whispered to your ear, loving the way it sounded on his lips.

"And you're my guy." You replied, kissing his nose.

"Sure am." He smiled proudly, setting you down on the bathroom sink as he turned the shower on, before he turned back to you, leaning on his hands, which rested either side of you, "I will be taking you out on a date when we get back, just so you know."

"I can't wait, baby."

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kentopedia · 8 months

Text

seeds of doubt

ft. dazai, chuuya, fyodor

summary — you don't feel like you’re good enough for them

contents — they comfort you when you’re feeling insecure about your relationship, sfw !!

notes — my other dazai wip is taking a while, so i decided to finish this one! i started it a few wks ago but since i’ve been feeling a lil down lately, i decided it was time for a comfort piece!

₊˚⊹♡ DAZAI

when you'd come home from work that evening, dazai had already known something was wrong. your usually bright smile didn't quite reach your eyes, your shoulders slumping the moment you crossed the threshold of your home.

dazai hadn't pushed you, but he had drawn you up tight in his arms, held you close when you breathed heavily into his shoulder, releasing all the tension in your body. his fingertips were soothing along your neck, massaging small, relaxing circles.

for the past hour, though it was nearing dinnertime, you'd found yourself buried in blankets, so warmly entangled with him, even when all of your hypercritical thoughts threatened to chill you to the core.

dazai spoke to you softly, asking you questions about your day for a while, ones that you refused to answer. you kept your eyes glued to the screen, watching mindlessly as a movie played, one that neither of you were paying any attention to.

that continued on for as long as he could stand it.

finally, with a sigh, dazai paused the film. he shifted, turning so that you were both face to face, his long limbs twisting around your own. limbs that were always so solid and warm, despite the iciness of his hands.

"kunikida told me what you said."

hesitantly, you stared back with wide eyes, jaw clenching. already, you knew what dazai was talking about. it was something that you'd told kunikida in confidence, because of all the members of the agency, you'd been certain that he was the least likely to spill your true feelings.

you stared back at him blankly, your shoulders stiffening. "hm? we talked a lot today. i'm not sure i know—"

though you pretended not to remember, dazai didn't let you run away from the question.

his lips fell into a frown, unamused. he drew your name out on an exhale, before running his palm over your cheek, across your chin, dipping his fingers into your hair. "don't bother. he's already mad enough at himself for telling me, but he hated how upset you were about it."

"osamu," you began. "i don't—"

"why did you tell him that you think you're not good enough for me?"

the seriousness in his deep brown eyes was so different than his usual playfulness, and you almost withdrew from them, curving deeper into yourself.

though, alongside the stoicism of his expression was something so melancholy, you found yourself offering your unfiltered emotions instead.

a long pause ensued. you breathed.

"because it's true," you finally whispered, your words wispy. "i'm not good enough for you, osamu." you swallowed when his face fell even further. "you're so smart, so handsome. you make me laugh all the time." your eyes grew hot as you felt tears at the edges of them. "i'm so plain compared to you."

"plain?" he repeated back, so wildly upset that you found yourself at a loss for words. "how can you say that, any of that, when i'm the one that's not good enough for you?"

despite yourself, you cracked a smile at his overzealous need to change the narrative. "don't say that just to make me feel better.”

"i'm not.” he frowned, his lips puckering as he held your cheeks, elongating each of the letters. "you're beautiful. inside and out. in a way that i can never be." he kissed the tip of your nose, smiling as you swatting him away. "i'm certainly not funny to everyone, either. i make you laugh only because i love you, and i want to see you smile." he kissed you between the eyebrows, then, this time laughing when the skin wrinkled there. "and i'm smart because i have to be, because i don't want to see the people i care about get hurt if i can do something to stop it." his expression softened at your glossy eyes, the way you slowly melted under his touch.

you let the words sink in, each one slowly chipping away at the doubt that had clouded you. dazai had never looked at you with anything but adoration in his eyes, something he spared for you and you alone, even when you felt unworthy of it.

"you could have anyone you wanted, osamu,” you said, the honest truth twisting something deep within you. “anyone at all.”

"funny," he said, tilting his head as he studied you carefully. "i've always thought the same thing about you."

₊˚⊹♡ CHUUYA

“i’m home,” you heard chuuya shout down the hall. he was always careful to alert you of his presence every time he returned, never wanting you to fear that his enemies had found his home, leaving you vulnerable.

you sniffed, some form of acknowledgement as you swirled the alcohol in the glass, pouring it down your throat. it burned on the way down, a buzz already at the edge of your mind, your thoughts slowing as you it sank into your bloodstream.

chuuya didn’t say anything more as he came into the room, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his hat and coat. there was a healed cut running down his left arm, a cluster of bruises on his left.

even though he’d gone on a dangerous mission earlier, he’d come home relatively unscathed.

despite your endless relief, it only did more to fuel your insecurities, the knowledge that compared to all his infinite glory, you were a lackluster, powerless no one.

you poured another glass, unbeknownst to the fact that chuuya was speaking to you at all.

“what?” you turned, the word slurring; you weren’t even sure what set of syllables had left your lips at all.

chuuya made a face as your head plopped down on the table, your eyes red from the tears you'd expelled. “is something wrong? it’s a little early for this, isn’t it?”

you stared at him, and though he was amused, you turned away, feeling the sour emotion of doubt lodge deep in your chest. “no,” you said in a small voice, turning away from chuuya.

he paused for a moment, his expression sobering before he took the seat next to you. chuuya held out a gloved hand, one that you could only see from your peripheral vision. “you expect me to believe that?”

“nothing’s wrong, chuuya,” you muttered, as sharply as you could in your current state. your arm grew numb under the weight of your head, throat sore from your earlier sobs. “i’m fine.”

chuuya sighed and took the bottle from you. even as you protested, every inch of his expression was so caring and delicate.

“that’s how i know you’re not fine.” he ran a hand over your hair, flattening it as you looked up at him from under wet eyelashes. “please tell me what’s wrong. i don’t like to see you sad, baby.”

though you wanted desperately to keep your mouth shut, you were too drunk to hold in the words. you leaned into his touch, letting the tears roll down your cheeks once more as panic grew in chuuya's eyes.

“i just think you deserve someone better than me, chuuya."

his brow wrinkled, and he blinked twice before shaking his head, puzzled. “what?”

you buried your head further into your forearms, unable to look at him any longer. despite your embarrassment, your lips didn't stop moving, releasing every little secret you'd bottled up since you'd met him

“you deserve someone you don’t have to worry about every time you’re away." you swallowed. "i’m not strong like you, chuuya, i don’t have any special ability that can save me from enemies." you thought of all the people he worked with, all of the ability users in the city that could compliment him so perfectly. "someone out there is a perfect match for you… i just don't think it's me.” you looked back at him, with teary, red eyes, right into his own sullen ones.

he scoffed, but his expression was gentle, open, fingers curling delicately around your wrist. "well, you're certainly wrong about that."

you curled yourself into a ball, resisting him, looking down at his knees instead of his eyes.

“none of that matters to me. i love you just the way you are. even if you were the strongest in the whole world, i'd still do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

you rubbed your cheeks, frowning as chuuya began reeling you in, grabbing you by the wrist to tug you onto his lap. “chuuya..." you said, hesitating as he planted you on his thighs, lips pulled tight in complete sincerity as he spoke his next words.

“i don’t care about anyone else. they could have all the power in the world, and it wouldn’t matter because they wouldn’t be you." he held you steady, one hand on your hip as he let the other caress your cheek gently. "i'll never want anyone else, okay?"

you nodded, though the sadness didn't dispel so easily from your face.

chuuya sighed, offering you as much of a smile as he could, even though he knew it wouldn't be a magic solution to cheer you up. "i'll remind you every day if i have to."

₊˚⊹♡ FYODOR

your hands curled in the water, tracing patterns throughout the soap and bubbles as your thoughts consumed you. it was just after midnight, but you'd woken up alone in your bed, full of thoughts that seemed determined to convince you that you'd never be enough.

though you'd gotten better at dispelling those dismal emotions, they dug their claws in deep this time. you'd crawled out of the cold sheets and drawn yourself a bath, hopeful that it would clear your mind.

fyodor had disappeared, and you weren't sure if he was in another room or if he had left your home completely.

it was quiet, but that told you little; he was always so silent, sneaking up on you with footsteps that never made a sound.

the door creaked open not a moment later, as if he had heard your thoughts. you didn't look over at him, but he sat beside the tub, his slender fingers curling over the porcelain.

"is everything alright?" he asked, his voice soft in the dim bathroom, illuminated only by candles and moonlight. "it's late."

you hummed, and contemplated voicing your thoughts at all. but you were half asleep, drowsy, and it didn't seem to matter what you said. the feelings would still be there, whether you voiced them or not.

still, you hesitated. "am i enough for you?"

you spared him a glance, and his eyes were wide, surprised by your simple question. a brief pause, before he answered, almost gently. "have i made you feel that you are not?"

you leaned your head against the edge of the tub, staring at the ceiling, the cracks in the paint, the uneven texture.

"i sometimes wonder if i'm just a hindrance to your plans." you breathed, thoughtful as he waited for you to finish. "i feel that maybe you'd be better off without me."

fyodor said nothing as you laid in the water, the temperature dropping with each passing minute. quietly, he discarded his clothes, keeping his eyes on you as he climbed into the tub to sit across from you.

he whispered your name once, but you remained silent, breathing in and out, trying to calm your mind.

"would you look at me?” fyodor asked, and the softness in his words was enough.

you sat up, pulling your legs closer to make space for him, even though he held your calf, drew himself towards you instead.

"you know that i do not make decisions lightly, and yet, i decided to share my heart and soul with you." he caressed your knee before letting his hand fall into the water, tracing patterns around your shin. you shivered. "do you really think i would have devoted my time to you if i ever intended on letting you go? if i didn't need you?"

"i know." you frowned, fully aware that it was true, to the deepest part of your soul. still, there was an ache in your mind, one that wouldn’t just go away with his pretty words. "but i can't help the way i sometimes feel."

fyodor smiled, his eyes crinkling ever so slightly at the corners. "i know," he said, and when he had you close, he dipped his head to kiss your bare shoulder. "but you do not need to hide that from me. i am here for you, always." he squeezed your hand. "i apologize if i am not always the best at showing that."

his touch was cold in the exposed bathroom air. "and when you achieve your goals, what will become of me? will you dispose of me, along with everyone else who stops being of used to you?"

"of course not." a laugh escaped him, like your question was unfathomable. "even then, you will be right by my side." he held your jaw tenderly as he forced you to look deep into his eyes. "you are mine forever, don't you understand? just as i am yours.”

dash is a teensy bit dead rn, but i want to let this one go so i can focus on my other wips <3. this was so nice to write though :))

2K notes · View notes

azsazz · 2 months

Text

Midnight Muse (Epilogue)

Azriel x Reader [Art School AU]

Summary: You and your best friend Feyre have just moved into a new apartment for your sophomore year of college at art school. What you didn't know when you signed the lease is that you'd be living next to three rowdy boys.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,783

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14] [Part 15] [Part 16] [Part 17] [Part 18] [Part 19] [Part 20] [Part 21] [Part 22] [Part 23] [Part 24] [Part 25] [Masterlist]

Notes: The end of an era 😭😭 Holy smokes I'm so happy and also sad I cannot believe it's over.

_________________________________________

**Seven Months Later**

“Azriel,” you sing-song, bursting in through the open front door to their house.

At the end of the spring semester Azriel’s father had bought 3rd Street apartments, and none of you had renewed your leases. His father hadn’t even tried to convince him to stay, but that didn’t matter to Azriel. The only thing that any of the five of you seemed to care about was that you’d no longer be living next to each other come summer.

Azriel, Rhysand, and Cassian had found a house to rent on the outskirts of campus. Of course, the place is gorgeous, a modern number that looks like it costs more than Rhysand is making it out to be. He’d been adamant about the three of them staying together, no matter what, and he’d tried to convince you and Feyre to move into another apartment nearby, but it wasn’t the right fit for either of you.

You wanted something more homey than the new building, something walkable since you nor Feyre have cars. You already miss your old apartment dearly, saddened by what Azriel’s father is going to make it into. Sure, the elevator was a death trap that stuck, and sure, the walls were thinner than paper, but it was home, where you’d found love with your grumpy next door neighbor, though you’re sure in Azriel’s version of the story you were the grumpy one.

The five of you had spent your last night at the building together, drinking and eating your heart content in waffles and ice cream from Rita’s. It was the perfect last night to end your time in the building, but also the semester. You passed your Drawing 101 final with flying colors, the half swan portrait you drew was something you’d never thought you’d be able to finish. Now, it’s one of your most treasured artworks.

You’d chosen the swan because of their representation of the awakening of the power of self and self-esteem. When you’d started the semester you’d been unsure of your ability in the creative world, but after hearing the stories of so many around you, Azriel’s included, it awakened your inner artist, and your work only grows more confident by the day.

You’d also chosen to morph yourself with the swan because of their grace. Grace in dealing with others; Azriel’s gnarly attitude, Cassian’s cheekiness, Rhysand’s cockiness, Lucien’s snark, and Feyre’s hidden relationship, which didn’t last long, but still hurt your friendship.

You’ve come a long way since then, and are now in love with the neighbor that had been a thorn in your side for months. Azriel is as sweet as ever now, though he still distracts you from your work these days, but it’s no longer with rowdy music.

You turn towards the living room where you hear Azriel calling your name. You come to a screeching half at the sight of him and Cassian, chests bare as they carry a couch between them, moving further into the room.

Your eyes zero in on Azriel, his tan chest glistening with effort. It’s move in day for them and they’ve been carrying boxes from 3rd Street apartments all morning. He looks godly in the light spilling in through the large glass windows overlooking the yard. The parties at this place are going to be insane this year, of that you know. It’s all Cassian has talked about since they’d signed the lease, commenting how their housewarming party is going to rival that of Project X.

“Hey, princess,” Azriel winks at your wandering eyes and you can only beam. So what if he’s caught you admiring his chiseled torso? He’s all yours and you can stare if you please. Although, the sudden dampness between your legs has you shifting on your feet, Azriel’s smirk widening.

“Can you two stop eye-fucking for one minute?” Cassian groans dramatically, acting like he’s struggling under the weight of the couch. You and Azriel both roll your eyes at the same time, which makes you burst into giggles. “This thing is fucking heavy.”

“All right, let’s put it over here,” Azriel directs, guiding them a few more feet into the room. They place it in front of the giant TV Rhysand splurged one, and you know movie nights are going to be great in here. It’ll be just like you’re at a movie theater, without all of the extra bodies.

You and Azriel still have yet to break in the couch, often choosing the privacy of his bedroom (as much as the thin walls give you) over the common rooms he shares with his roommates.

Speaking of, there’s a thump coming from upstairs and the sound of Feyre’s laughter drifting down the staircase. So maybe this new house isn’t that much more private than your old apartment.

As soon as he puts his end of the couch down you’re flinging yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. Azriel laughs and swings you around before planting your feet back on the ground and leaning over to kiss you silly.

The flooding warmth throughout your body only intensifies as he steps closer, pressing his body into yours and rolling his hips a little, allowing you to feel his interested cock in his pants.

“Hi,” you grin when you part.

Azriel’s gold eyes glitter with amusement. “Hi, princess. How is your morning?”

Your hands snake down his chest, brushing over his nipples as you go. You don’t miss his reaction to your touch and it makes you giddy all over again. Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his pants, your smile turns sultry, watching his eyes darken. “Much better now.”

“Is that so?” Azriel quirks an eyebrow. He looks like he’s two seconds away from dragging you upstairs to his new room and breaking it in. You wouldn’t mind that one bit. “Do I want to know why you’re this cheery this early in the morning?”

“You already know,” you beam, rolling onto the tips of your toes to kiss him on the nose. When you try to pull away Azriel growls, tightening his grip on you.

“You can’t say that and not want me to fuck you, princess,” he says roughly, leaning down to whisper in your ear. His breath is hot across the shell and you shudder in his arms, eyelashes fluttering at his words. You have to swallow back the moan threatening to escape.

You startle at the sound of a loud crash, turning to see Cassian all but glaring at the two of you, having just dropped a box of books to the ground purposefully.

“I thought we were supposed to be moving,” Cassian tosses over his shoulder and yells up the stairs, “I can’t have both roommates fucking already. There’s still so much shit to move!”

“I’m coming,” Rhysand yells back and you crinkle your nose.

“Ew.”

It makes Cassian crack, a smile twitching at his lips. He has his hands on his hips and is still staring at you and Azriel in a false stern manner. “I knew I made a good decision to befriend you, (Y/N).”

“More like forced yourself into my life,” you grumble playfully, following him out to his Bronco, stuffed full with boxes.

“Just for that, I’m giving you a heavy box,” he teases right back, but he wasn’t kidding because your breath is nearly knocked from your chest when he hands you one. It’s falsely labeled ‘Az’s room’ on it because it feels like there’s a pile of bricks in it.

Azriel glares at his roommate as he rids you of the heavy box. You give him a smile in thanks, sneakily sliding out a box labeled ‘couch pillows’ instead. It takes you back to the day that you and Feyre moved into your last apartment, how the living room box had been the last one you’d brought inside before your very first—and terrible—run in with Azriel.

The smile you wander inside with is a nostalgic one.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•

“Are you ready?”

“Yes!”

“Then why are you acting like I’ve already put the needle to your skin?” Azriel argues, sitting back in his chair.

You’re laid up on the table, shirt pulled up to your neck, waiting for Azriel to put the tattoo gun to your skin. You keep squirming, not quite comfortable on the cold table top, but it’s the best he can do while he’s still waiting to hear back about his apprenticeship he interviewed for last week. It’s been a few long, grueling days, and you thought you’d distract him by finally allowing him to give you your first tattoo. It had taken you months to decide, and Azriel hadn’t pushed you once about the matter, no matter how badly he’d wanted to put ink on your skin.

Now, the sound of the gun is making you rethink your decision.

You sigh loudly and Azriel shuts the gun off, placing it on the table. He rips the gloves from his hands and helps you sit up, guiding your shirt back into place.

“Maybe we should wait,” he suggests softly, though you can see the hurt in his eyes.

It’s not that you don’t trust him. No, you trust Azriel with your life. It’s that you’re overthinking the design you’d thought you wanted so badly.

“I want one,” you huff, sadly, “But I don’t think this is the one.”

Azriel soothes his hands up your thighs. “That’s okay, princess. There’s no rush. You don’t even have to get one, if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” you whine in frustration. You had it planned for weeks, this idea, and now…you just can’t go through with it. It doesn’t feel right.

You slide off of the table into Azriel’s lap, resting your head against his chest as he holds you tight. You let the soothing beat of his heart calm you down, the running of his hands up and down your back a relaxing gesture. It makes your heart swell, with the amount of love that you have for him.

Azriel brushes some hair away from your face when you pull back. He’s studying you with those intense golden eyes you’ve come to adore. You can read everything in those eyes; his annoyance, his happiness, his anger, his lust, even his feelings for you, but right now, you’re not all too confident in what he’s thinking.

“I want to show you something,” he murmurs softly and you frown.

“Okay,” you answer tentatively, but his hand is sure in yours as he laces your fingers together after helping you off his lap.

He guides you up the stairs and into his room.

“Azriel,” you tease, “I already know this room too well,” you say, alluding to his first night in the house where he fucked you over every surface in his room. It was pure bliss, one of the best nights you’ve shared.

Azriel puffs a breathy laugh and guides you to sit on the edge of his bed. You follow his instructions with obedience, covering your eyes when he tells you.

He waves a hand in front of your face to make sure you’re not looking. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Um,” your lips turn into the cutest pout when you think. “Two?”

He’s holding up none but he grumbles. “I was thinking two.”

You bounce giddily on the edge of his bed and his cock twitches as he thinks of you bouncing on his cock just like that.

“Easy, princess.”

You stop your bouncing but not your grinning.

Azriel strides over to his closet, pulling out the canvas he’s been working on, when you aren’t around, of course. Well, he only dares pull it out around you when you’re fast asleep in his bed. It’s consumed him day and night, and finally, his masterpiece is finished.

“What is it?” you ask giddily, unable to rein in your excitement or the butterflies in your stomach.

You hear Azriel’s laughter as he moves closer. “If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose of me asking you to close your eyes, princess,” he tuts and you swear you can hear him rolling his eyes. “But you can open them now, Miss Impatient.”

“That’s my middle name—” your words stick to your throat as you stare at the canvas he’s holding in front of you.

You’re in awe, struck by the lines so confidently drawn. You’re transported back to the night of his exhibition, when he’d shown you the blackest parts of his soul, put on canvas.

Similarly to the centerpiece of the show, the charcoal drawing he has in front of you are two hands intertwined. His, with his rough scars, clutching tightly to a flawless hand, a feminine hand.

Your hand.

Azriel shifts nervously on his feet. All you’re doing is staring, open-mouthed, and he’d normally take that as a good sign, but when tears well your eyes his heart pinches in his chest.

“It’s,” you choke, pressing a hand to your aching heart. “It’s so beautiful, Azriel.”

He breathes out a sigh of relief, only managing to move the canvas out of the way when you launch yourself into his arms, sobbing into his chest. He leans it against the edge of his bed and tucks you tightly into his arms, pressing soft kisses to your forehead.

“Shhh, princess. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I’m crying because it’s perfect,” you pull away and he’s wiping softly at your cheeks. Your eyes are red-rimmed and he hates that but he loves the way it makes your eyes pop. He studies them for a little longer, committing it to memory, something to sketch for later. “You’re perfect. And I—I love you.”

His attention snaps onto your words, holding onto them like they could slip away like a shadow. You haven’t said that before, neither have you. And he’s been wanting to say it for so long now, was going to so many times but it never felt like the right moment.

And it’s now that he realizes that there was never going to be a better moment than any of the times his lips formed the words, only for nothing to come out. He should’ve said it when he felt it because he knows you don’t care about the moment being this perfect thing, for fucks sake you’re crying in his arms right now and you’re telling him that you love him for the first time.

He is such an idiot sometimes.

“I love you too, princess,” he admits in a rasp, throat thick with the words. He’s never felt something this strongly for someone before. He wants to be around you all of the time, wants to hold you and touch you and taste you. You consume him, mind, body, and soul.

You’re there, tattooed on his fucking soul, inked in the love he hadn’t known he was missing until you met. The darkness that consumed him was a starless sky, a void waiting to be filled. You. You are the moon and the stars lighting him up, brightening his days.

He fucking loves you. So, so much.

“Yeah?” you ask, your soft crying turns to happy tears, ones he can’t help but to kiss as they roll down their cheeks. “You love me?”

“I love you, (Y/N),” Azriel says, “I think maybe I always have.”

“That’s so not true,” you laugh wetly, trying to swat at his chest. Azriel catches your hand in his and kisses your palm, golden eyes gleaming.

“Okay,” he concedes with a grin, “Maybe not always, but for a long time now.”

You shake your head fondly. Your eyes dart away from him in your sudden nervousness. “Az?”

“Yeah, princess?”

You look at the picture once more, admiring it. It’s utterly perfect, just like him.

Pointing at it, you say, “That. I want that as my first tattoo.”

Azriel stares, shocked. “Are you sure? You know I’ll give you any tattoo that you want, but I need you to be one hundred percent positive. I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I won’t,” you shake your head in disagreement and the softness in his eyes makes your heart swell. He looks like he can’t believe you’re real and you’re his. You’ll make him believe it and more. Later, you want to hear him say those three magical words while he’s pinning you to his sheets. Now, you want a tattoo. “This has to be the tattoo, Az. It’s us. I want us.”

He kisses you firmly on the mouth. Desperate.

“I want us too.”

“Then let’s do this thing, Az. I’m ready.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

MM Taglist Part 1: @justvibbinghere @nickishadow139 @going-through-shit @honeycries @natashachelsea @thisisew @kennedy-brooke @reiincarnatiion @ccucumbers @secret-ly-here @throneofsmut @cat-or-kitten @sourapplex @magical-mischief-makers @cami26cami @torchbearerkyle @a-frog-with-a-laptop @sevikas-whore @endless-worldss @vellichor01 @bangtans-jagiya @kalulakunundrum @pinksmellslikelove @bookishbroadwaybish @justdreamstars @i-am-infinite @whichwitchisthebitch @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @sia-r @ssmay123 @haivenhoule @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @bloodicka @acourtofbatboydreams @hannzoaks @judig92 @ilikefictionalmen @harrystylesfan2686 @dr4g0ngirl @helensophie @isa1b2h3 @viatorem-maris

#midnight muse #acotar #azsazz #acomaf #acowar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel/reader #tattoo artist!azriel #artist!azriel #art school au #acotar au

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aethes-bookshelf · 6 months

Text

empty eyes, emptier words || astarion/tav/halsin

I've been stuck in BG3 hell since the game first came out. I'm still in there. I don't think I'll be coming out anytime soon, so have this piece of angst. If everything goes well, maybe I'll deliver on some devil fucking (ft. Haarlep & Raphael). But that's a big IF.

For now, take this. I wrote it in class. I was supposed to be paying attention, but I made this instead. Bon appétit.

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, tav straight up fucking dies

Pairing: astarion/tav/halsin

Wordcount: 1.4k

Summary: Orin knew exactly who to take to hit those troublesome True Souls the hardest. Their leader was the obvious choice - a chicken can only run so far if you take its head. Tav would make a beautiful sacrifice for Bhaal.

And if anyone came to try and get them back? All the better. Blood will flow either way. And what a sight it'll be.

[I made some changes to Orin's dagger. Now, whoever gets killed with it can't be resurrected. Or can they?]

ao3 link || part 2

Orin turned around at the first sound of footsteps. She brandished her dagger, her Netherstone embedded in the cold metal of the weapon. She was standing on the sacrificial altar at the center of the temple. Beneath her laid Tav, arms and legs bound. They were unconscious, fresh and old wounds littering their body. The little clothing they wore stuck to their skin, wet with blood. The smell of it hit Astarion like a club to the head. He hated how his mouth instantly watered, hunger rearing its ugly head.

‘I don’t smell Gortash’s rot on you,’ Orin said, crouching by Tav’s body. She dragged her blade across their skin. Fresh blood bubbled to the surface. Tav didn’t even flinch. They were barely breathing.

‘Did it think it could trick me? Did it think it could save?’ Orin taunted, her dagger stopping right over Tav’s heart. Astarion could hear its faint beating.

The heat of Karlach’s anger burned the air around her. ‘I hope you’re not about to do what I think you are. For your sake.’ Her massive ax sliced through the pungent air, tail swishing behind her.

Halsin didn’t speak, but his eyes glowed bright gold. His hands were clenched at his sides, anger barely restrained.

Astarion unsheathed his own daggers, their weight a fleeting comfort. ‘You lay one more finger on them, I’ll rip your throat out,’ he said. A growl ripped itself out of his throat.

‘Your teeth aren’t sharp enough to pierce my throat,’ said Orin. The tip of her dagger sank into Tav’s chest. ‘Not enough to slice my flesh, taste my blood.’ She drew back her hand, dagger rising into the air. A speck of blood followed its tip.

Astarion clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt. His upper lip drew back; he bared his fangs on instinct.

‘Even if you kill them, all you’ll achieve is pissing us off,’ said Karlach. Her words were confident, but her voice betrayed her; she was afraid. ‘We’ll just bring them back so they can spit on your fucking corpse after I split you in half, you crazy bitch.’

None of them liked the way Orin laughed at those words. ‘“Bring them back”? Not here. Not with Bhall’s blessing.’ She grinned, showing all of her teeth. ‘They’ll be the first sacrifice of the night. Then I’ll spill your blood and guts on their flayed skin.’ A shiver ran through Orin as she brought her dagger down.

The blade sank into Tav’s chest with a sickening squelch. They gasped, body going rigid for just a second. Then they went limp.

Astarion’s scream rang through the still air as Karlach charged the altar.

* * *

Astarion knelt down by the bodies laying on the stairs and started rifling through their pockets.

‘What the hell are you doing, Fangs?’ asked Karlach. Tears were evaporating off of her face, her infernal engine still hot with her battle rage. The ashes of a used scroll of revivify were cooling at her feet. The spell's energy had already ran out and Tav was still limp, their body slowly going rigid.

‘I’m looting, can’t you tell?’ Astarion’s voice was snappy, but even. ‘Tav’s usually the one to take everything that’s not nailed down but they obviously can’t do it this time, can they?’

He leaned down over a pile of smoking bones and burned blood that used to be a man once. ‘They always find something for us in these piles of trash, I thought it’d be… nice to do the same for them for once.’ He managed to fish out a rusted dagger from underneath the pile.

‘Astarion,’ said Karlach, voice breaking.

‘Besides, their favorite tea ran out a few days ago, so we’re gonna need stuff to sell.’ He leaned over the pile of Orin’s gore next. ‘Tav spent most of our money on some new armor for you and Gale, and that tea’s expensive, you know?’ He took Orin’s dagger. His hands were shaking.

‘Astarion,’ Karlach tried again. The low hiss of evaporating tears got louder.

‘They deserve to drink something good when they come back, no?’ Astarion stood up straight. His grip on Orin’s dagger was so tight his chuckles went paper-white.

‘Astarion,’ Karlach’s voice was low and thick with tears, ‘I don’t think they’re coming ba—’

‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ Astarion was quick to turn around and point the dagger at Karlach’s chest. ‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ For the first time since they arrived at the temple, his voice broke. ‘Of course they’re coming back. Why do we keep that creepy skeleton around if not to bring us back in times like these?’

His eyes watered. ‘They’re coming back. They have to. They must. Even if that means I’ll have to drag them out of the Hells myself.’

Astarion’s eyes wandered to Tav’s broken corpse. They were still laying on the altar, the stone of it slick with their drying blood. He couldn’t see their face; Halsin’s shoulders were obstructing the view. Astarion could swear the druid was shaking too.

‘Halsin, they’re coming back, right? They’re coming back!’ If Astarion’s heart still beat, it’d be fluttering with rising panic.

Halsin’s voice was low and quiet. He kept stroking Tav’s matted hair as he spoke. ‘I’m not sure they will, my friend.’

Those words punched all air out of Astarion’s lungs. Fury replaced it.

‘Shut up!’ he screamed; his voice echoed in the empty temple. ‘We were supposed to have decades together. Decades! They can’t leave yet. They promised!’ His knees buckled. With every word he spoke, he sank lower and lower, until his knees hit the cold stone beneath him. ‘They promised we’d… We were supposed to find a way for me to be in the sun again,’ his voice faded into silence.

Astarion couldn’t speak anymore. His chest clenched and his eyes burned. He wanted to scream. He wanted to rage and kill, and tear. He wanted to bring Orin back just so he could send her to her blasted god all over again. He wanted to hear Tav laugh at one of his stupid jokes.

His throat was clenched so tight not even sobs could escape it. He was vaguely aware Halsin’s shoulders were openly shaking with his grief, but he couldn’t bring himself to comfort the druid. That would mean looking at Tav’s empty eyes. That would make this entire nightmare real. So very, terribly real.

Astarion’s grip on Orin’s dagger loosened; the weapon fell with a loud cling, its Netherstone slipping out of it. The stone shone dimly in the light of the torches.

All of it for these stones. All this death, pain and misery for these three pieces of one whole. Tav died for it.

Meaningless, meaningless, meaningless. All of it. All of it!

Astarion’s mind was reeling; jumping from pain to denial to anger to desperation. He didn’t know what to do. Tav would know, he thought, and a fresh wave of tears fell.

Karlach laid a hand on his shoulder. She’d cooled down enough for her touch to be only slightly painful on his corpse-cold skin. ‘We have to go, Fangs. Halsin.’ Her grip on Astarion tightened when he shook his head. ‘We have to go,’ she repeated, harsher this time. Barely restrained emotion shook her voice. ‘If they even can come back, we need to get them back to camp as soon as possible.’

Halsin took a deep breath and wiped his face with the back of his hand. ‘Karlach’s right,’ he said and stood up. Tav was limp as he cradled them close to his chest. To his heart. ‘If we stay here too long, we’ll certainly lose them for good.’ The druid squared his shoulders and turned to face the other two.

Astarion went rigid at the sight of Tav’s hand, limply hanging off the side of their body. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at their face.

‘Astarion,’ Halsin’s voice was soft, ‘I understand your pain. They are in my heart as they are in yours. But we mustn't waste time lest we lose them forever. If there is a chance to save them, we must act now.’

Astarion swallowed down the bile rising in his throat. The chill of death had never been more present in his bones. He nodded, silent, and picked up Orin’s dagger and Netherstone.

‘Let’s go,’ said Karlach, new-found determination on her face. ‘We still have to buy their favorite tea after this, right? How’d you put it, Fangs? “They deserve to drink something good after this”?’

Astarion nodded. He didn’t trust his voice not to break if he spoke. There was an empty, far-away look in his eyes.

As they left the temple of Bhaal, the sweet stench of blood followed them out.

#my writing #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #halsin x tav #halsin x reader #astarion x tav x halsin #angst #hurt/no comfort #major character death #x reader #gender neutral tav #ambiguous ending

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moumouton4 · 11 months

Note

Idea. strip poker with tobirama, orochimaru, madara, and neji (seperately) but the reader is really damn good at poker. So the guys are sitting there in their underwear and the reader has only removed their shoes and socks. And the boys lose again and the reader (being the cocky asshole they are) says "I told you not to go against me, and look at you now." I just think this would be really goddamn funny, what happens after is completely up to you.

Strip Poker Hc || Naruto characters x reader

Including : Tobirama Senju, Orochimaru, Madara Uchiha and Neji Hyuga

A/n : That was so interesting to write ! Thank you so much for this opportunity 😍 I really hope you'll like it 🔥

Warnings : strip poker, sexual innuendo, spank, hint to oral fem!receiver, slow burn, kinda spicy at the end, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Words count : 1984

Tobirama Senju :

When you offered, he frowned and turned his head so you wouldn't see the blush on his usually cold face, telling you it was a stupid game he didn't need to undress you

Even when you told him that it'd be fun he turned you down

So you did the most logical thing to get his attention: doubting his abilities.

"You're quite right to refuse, I'd have beaten you so far you wouldn't have recovered"

That's it, he'd turned finally his head towards you, a look of challenge in his eyes

"I'll make you swallow your words like snakes"

Mission accomplished, now the real game could begin

The poker game was known to both of you, So the game was off to a flying start

The only thing he hadn't taken into account was that you'd never really played together before, crazy as that may sound

Round after round, and although confident at first, he began to feel disillusioned

You didn't decide to spare him, not when you knew how satisfying it was to see that look of satisfaction fade from his face

You took great pleasure in making him take off his shoes, his socks, his forehead protector ( you argued for 20 minutes about whether it was a piece of clothing ), his t-shirts...

You did lose a couple of rounds, underestimating him at some points, sensing victory was coming, but nothing to make you lose face

Then you won once again, and while he'd already made a fuss about taking off his t-shirt, what was it going to be like for his pants ? "Come on, Tobirama, don't be a sore loser. Take responsibility now"

With a sigh laced with a grunt, he removed his belt and pulled down his pants, trying to control the heat rising in his cheeks

"I think we can call it a game, I'm sure you won't have the balls to go on at the risk of removing the last article" you said, your eyes trailing towards his boxers

He didn't assume he'd been so easily loose that you stopped playing to preserve his dignity

"Unless..." you said your words trailing "you want. But then I can't promise that the game won't end up in our bedroom"

Okay if he wasn't flustered he really is now. You think you've won so much you allow yourself to be cocky too. But now he knew that you were much better at poker than he was

The reaction of his body, however, spoke volumes about his new resolve to lose the game

As you drew closer to him, you realized that his breathing was ragged, a grunt hidden beneath his breath

Before you even had time, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you flush against him. I'm going to show you something I'm second to none at"

"Ah ? What is it ?" you replied still cocky, anticipation lacing your words

"I'm going to make you scream" and with that he took you in his arms, threw you over his shoulder and led you to your room

Finally you'd got what you wanted. What would have been the point of playing poker against him, knowing that you were going to beat him to the punch ?

Orochimaru :

He'd heard about strip poker on his travels. He couldn't wait to come back and try it out with you

It would be a way of showing his superiority through gambling, and of revealing you to his hungry eyes at the same time

He seriously thought he was going to win. And his confidence was only boosted when you asked him in a small voice "You're sure about this ?" carefully faking your ability. He nodded eagerly before repeating in a commanding tone, "Come and sit here pet" "Okay"

You'd let him win the first two rounds to build up his confidence. You only had to take off your shoes and socks. You couldn't wait to see that smirk fade from his face, so you launched your counterattack

Now immersed in your game - he noticed the shift in your behavior - you won sleeve after sleeve, making him jump out of his clothes one by one. And as he wasn't wearing much, he soon found himself almost naked in front of you ( faster than he should have )

At this point he took off his clothes mechanically, but his jaw tightened when he found himself in his boxers in front of you. His eyes widened as you cockily said, "See, I asked you if you were sure"

There you were again, he knew that you were up to something

You continued to taunt him "Look at you now how path-"

But he cut you off suddenly, taking long strides towards you "You'll be sorry you played me" he said, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust

"Stand up" he demanded and you did. Then you followed him back to your room "I'll teach you that a good pet doesn't try to be superior to its master" he couldn't help being proud of you though, but he intended to remind you of your respective places

After he stripped you, he sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned you to lie on his lap, you could feel the effect your moment of cockiness had on him

"You think you're clever. Vey well. We'll see about that" he punctuated his sentence with a firm spank on your ass "Now count and be a good girl"

Madara Uchiha :

When Madara came to you proposing a game of strip poker, it was to prove to you that he was better than you. Uchiha superiority blah blah blah

In fact, he'd been on a roll ever since he'd won an earlier training fight with his Sharingan

He was sure that a simple card game would allow him to repeat another victory

"You sure about this ? I'm warning you, It's best to stick to the win you had before. It won't have the same flavor otherwise" you joked

"Just come and play the damn game with me Y/n" he said, a hint of excitement in his words, he was sure that in no time you'd find yourself naked in front of him

However, he should have been wary, given the great confidence emanating from you as you sat down in front of him, he was still a little baffled

At the end of the 3rd round, when your feet were bare from the two rounds you'd lost, you finally looked Madara in the eye during the game, concentrating less on your cards. You frowned when you saw his Sharingan activated

"Love that's cheating. No Sharingan allowed" your voice made him smirk "If you think it'll make you win. I'm not that close anyway" his pupils returned to their original black

"That's better" you said, the game could finally begin

And it did. Round after round, he had to remove an article of clothing, proof of your superiority over him in this game

The look he gave you was hilarious. He looked as if he'd been betrayed every time he unraveled a little more. Serves him right for underestimating you

His expression fell, however, when he lost yet another round and realized he had to take off his last piece of clothing, which was his boxer

"That's it, the game's over" he said, his voice laced with bad faith, he was disgusted to have lost without realizing it

"I told you to be satisfied with what you had before. Et look at you now" your eyes trailed down his figure "Don't be a sore loser and take responsibility. Take that off"

To your surprise, he smirked and slowly took it off, his eyes still fixed on yours. He moved away from his chair and you stood up institiously as he moved closer to you

Suddenly, he placed both hands on either side of you. Your back hit the table as his body pressed against yours. You could feel the warmth of his body, his ragged breath on your ear and his arousal pressed against you

"Done. Now what are you going to do about it?" he asked in a husky voice

Your hands wrap around him, pressing him closer against you "I'm going to take my reward"

"Alright. Show me how you slay pretty girl "

And something tells you that the Sharingan in his eye was there to make sure you didn't miss any of the show you both were about to play

Neju Hyuga :

He never wanted to play it with you, maybe out of embarrassment. But one day he overheard you talking to Naruto and Shikamaru about playing strip poker at a party with all your friends, and that's when something clicked in his mind

Suddenly he really wanted to play with you. How could your boyfriend not be the 1st to play strip poker with you well maybe because he's refused countless times

When Neji told you he'd heard you talking about it with your friends, you just wanted to tease him just to hear the hint of jealousy in his voice a little more "Na Neji don't worry about it"

He tried to suppress the jealousy you'd been able to feel for a while now under a calm, confident tone he was used to using "I'm your boyfriend and I think it would be appropriate to do it with you before you do it with our friends"

"I swear you'd better not tempt me. Besides, I know you can't handle defeat"

"Defeat ? What makes you think I'm going to lose ?" he said, feeling his competitiveness flare up in him - ouch, you'd just touched his ego

"Okay fine" you said after pretending to think "But I'm warning you, every time you lose, you have to take off one of your clothes. And no arguing, that's the rule"

At your words he turned red and nodded eagerly his gaze averting between you and the floor "By the way no Byakugan allowed to see through the cards" "Understood"

And he should have known he was in for a hell of a ride when he saw the little smirk on your face, but he couldn't wait to get started and secretly hoped to win a decent number of rounds

But what a disillusion, miraculously - according to him - you were winning

You did loose one or two rounds but it was only because you were drooling over his chest

"Neji you have to take that boxer off that's the game. You wouldn't have said the same thing if the situation was reversed" he blushed intensely bringing his hands at the waist band of his boxer "That's so unfair"

"And yet you're the one who wanted to play with me. You remember what you told me "I'm a hyuga I'm bound to win against you"" you joked mimicking his voice "Guess you won the right to be a naked sore loser. You shouldn't have to mess with me. At least you got to see my feet" you laughed

He chuckled at your joke nonetheless ready to accept his defeat when you raised your hand to stop him " Don't forget it's only a game you don't have to go that far if you don't want to"

He smiled at your understanding but he intended to take responsibility, and Byakugan or not, he could see that you were dying to see him take it off

"No, it's okay, you won, I'll do it" and with that he pulled down his boxer shorts, another shade of pink landing on his cheeks "And what now ?" he asked, his voice full of anticipation

"Well now I might just reward you for playing and maybe have a little taste. What do you say ?"

"I'd be honoured" he finally spoke, his blush gaining the tip of his nose

A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🌮🧀 Again my requests are open 🍩🍰

Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff

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dotster001 · 1 year

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What Was Will be Again

Summary: Satan x gn!reader Satan finds that texting the attendant is an easy way to communicate without his wrath interfering. But it isn't long before he craves more.

A/N: this is heavily inspired by how, in nightbringer, Satan seems to hate us and want nothing to do with us, but he's also texting to rank his favorite cat things. So I said, both can go hand in hand 😂

Everything was too much. This existence was too noisy, too aggressive, too uncaring. And yet…when you told him to "STAY!", there was a brief moment he felt peace.

Still everytime he tried to talk to you, the only words out of his mouth were in anger. The first few times you were startled, but at length you'd seemed to accept it.

It's not his fault! He wants to shout how much he cares, how much he wants to make you happy! But he's always so angry! He can't control it, and it's…frightening. Frightening that he could destroy the only peace he's found in his entire existence.

One day, though, he's looking through the royal library, and there's a book that reminds him of you. Without thinking, he texts you using the number Lucifer gave him, and sends you all manner of book recommendations.

It takes half a second for him to realize what he's done, but you are enthusiastic in your response.

I'll be sure to let you know what I think!

He turned off his phone, and clutched it to his chest, a grin overtaking his normally sour features.

He was scared though, that your relationship would change. That you'd challenge this out in the open, or worse, in front of Lucifer. But you didn't say anything. You treated him as you always did. He couldn't be more grateful.

It was just so much easier to talk to you over text. It was safer! He couldn't scare you off like that…

"Ooh who are you smiling at?" Asmo asked, giggling and trying to read Satan's texts over his shoulder.

"What are you blabbering about?"he snapped, shutting down his phone.

"People only smile at their phones like that when it's someone special. Now tell me who it is!" Asmo whined, as he draped himself over Satan's lap.

Satan stood up and let Asmo fall, but still. This was the first moment he thought that, maybe, just maybe, talking to you in person wouldn't be so bad.

Then you sent him another picture of a cat, and his brain got thoroughly distracted. But over the course of the next couple days, he thought and thought about it, before deciding to try and talk to you.

"You're chewing too loudly," he snapped. That's not what he wanted to say to you, he just heard the noise and that was all his brain could process.

You froze, swallowed, and said, "I'm sorry, Satan. I'll try to be quieter."

He snarled, and walked away, before realizing he'd completely blown the interaction. Why was it so hard? And why were you so understanding?! As he processed what had just gone down, you'd already texted him about how a manga Levi recommended you was something you thought he'd enjoy based on his recommendations.

This wouldn't be the last time he tried and failed to interact with you. He was starting to realize he was no better than Levi! Levi, his annoying, otaku brother, had talked to you more than he ever had. And he seemed to be able to hold a conversation with you without his sin taking over!

It wasn't fair! He wanted to see your face when he sent a cute cat picture. He wanted to hear your laugh when you thought something he said was funny. He wanted to see the empathy in your eyes when you told him it was okay, and that he wasn't his sin. The confidence in your expression, when you said that he could learn to control his wrath one day.

He'd blown up on his "brothers" again, and had left the House of Lamentation, deciding to sit in the gazebo by the pond, staring at the stars, and clenching his fists so tightly that his talons drew blood.

He heard someone walking up behind him, and felt them sit on the bench next to him.

He didn't have to look up to know it was you.

"Go away!"

You didn't say anything, just sat there. He saw you shift out of the corner of his eye, and then felt his phone vibrate with a new message from you. He ignored it. No point in hearing what you had to say.

You shifted again, and he flinched when you placed a hand on top of one of his clenched fists.

It took him a moment to realize his cheeks had grown wet, and he was trembling. You thankfully didn't mention it, just sat with him as he processed his feelings.

You were so gentle. So kind. Better than any angel, or Celestial Realm could ever be.

….

Your head rested in his lap, and he offhandedly stroked your hair as you read together in his private library.

"Satan?" you hummed, breaking the peaceful silence.

"Mhmm?"

"Mammon was telling me about the couple of centuries after you were born."

He groaned, and you giggled.

"Sounds like you were a bit of a trouble maker."

"Were?" He snickered, tickling your side, and causing you to snort.

"You know what I mean, you ass," you groaned, swatting his hand away.

"So I was curious, how did you learn to cope with your sin? Like, the other brothers were angels, so in theory they should have had the tools to overcome, but it kind of sounds like you were on your own…"

Your trailed off at the end, voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

"We used to have this attendant," he said, trying hard to bring the memories to the surface after years of disuse. "I don't know what happened to them, they probably got eaten or something, but they were a unique demon, and when I was in a particularly bad fit, they would come sit with me. Their strength gave me strength."

He hummed to himself. "It's been a while since I've thought about that, actually. But without them lending me their peace, I never would have found my own."

"Sounds like they were important to you," you hummed, nuzzling into him affectionately.

He wrapped his arms around you, before saying, "Yeah. I guess. But I have someone better now."

You laughed, before smiling up at him, "Still, I'm happy you had them, or I wouldn't have you now."

"Yeah, I guess not."

He wasn't sure if his brother's father could hear them in hell, but he sent up a quick thank you for the demon attendant for bringing him you.

....

Tag list- @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic @your-next-daydream

#obey me x reader #satan x reader #om! nightbringer x reader #om! satan #obey me #om! nightbringer #nightbringer #om! satan x reader

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alloftheimaginesblog · 9 months

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an old friend, a new start part iii {r. lupin}

plot: Fourteen years after graduating Hogwarts, you’re offered a job to be the new Muggle Music Professor. Funnily enough, your old friend, Remus Lupin, is also offered a new job at Hogwarts that year.

in this chapter: remus tries to make amends

character: remus lupin x female reader

PART ONE, PART TWO

Days had passed since the full moon - since you had confided your feelings in Remus and he had rejected you - and you had been hiding away in your office for the last two days. To be perfectly truthful, you were hideously embarrassed. You had put your heart on the line and Remus had crushed it far too easily.

At first, you'd been angry. You'd been so angry, hating how cowardly he was, hating how Snape had been right about him, hating that he didn't mirror your feelings. Soon, that anger turned to shame. Then shame turned to sadness. Had you just lost your best friend? Had you just thrown your oldest friendship away? Sadness turned to quiet denial. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe you had let yourself get carried away in a childhood crush and being here, being back in Hogwarts with him... Maybe he was right.

You didn't really know where to go from here. You didn't know if you could show your face in front of Snape or even worse, Remus. What would you say? Oh hi Remus, yeah I'm just fantastic after I poured my heart out to you and you just tore up my heart like it was paper! I'm great. You wondered if he would even speak to you. The things he'd said... You'd put it down as false words but the more you repeated his words in your head the more you started to believe them.

"We are colleagues. Nothing more."

Was he right?

It was on Monday morning that you had to be a little bit braver, you had classes after all. You went down for breakfast at 6.30am on the dot. You'd even went so far as to bring a small basket. Not wanting to risk an awkward run in, you thought it best to fill your basket and take it back to your class to eat before lessons began.

You hadn't been counting on Remus already being in the Great Hall though.

Your heart skipped a beat. There were a few handfuls of students but as for adults it was just you and Remus. You avoided his gaze as you walked towards the teachers table, jaw clenched as you tried you absolute hardest to be nonchalant but from the way your eyes darted to him every few steps and your racing heart, it was obvious that you weren't doing as good a job as you wanted. No, he wasn't right and how dare he convince you that he was! You weren't just colleagues. Anger bubbled in your stomach as you drew closer and closer to him.

"Good morning, Professor Lupin," you said tightly with a forced smile as you began to pluck some breakfast pastries from the teacher's table and put them in your basket.

As much as you tried to hide it, he noticed the tremble of nervousness in your hand and the feathering in your clenched jaw. Lupin's heart ached, "(y/n)..." The sound of his voice made you tense up, frozen in place as your heart thudded in your chest, "I- We need to talk. I-" He swallowed, "I didn't mean what I said."

There was the anger again. You scoffed, "Well you said it, didn't you? Must've been some truth behind it."

Your anger was to be expected. Remus was actually surprised that you hadn't hexed him, "Please let me explain, come we'll take breakfast and go to my classroom and I'll explain. Please."

"Oh I hardly think that's appropriate for colleagues, Professor Lupin," your voice dripped with venom like a snake puncturing right through to his heart, "we wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression or have them think that we're acting like children, now would we?"

You didn't give him a chance to explain as you turned on your heels and sped away, the croissant in your hand squished and crumbling due to your anger. You shoved it in your basket then shoved right past Snape who had witnessed from afar your tense exchange with Remus. He had a smirk which screamed 'I told you so' but you pushed past and hurried back to your class.

Remus watched you go and released a long breath, "Oh, Prongs," he whispered hopelessly, "how do I fix this?" He knew that if James were here, he would've sorted him out but alone... Remus had no idea what to do. Would he really rather lose you completely as opposed to letting you in?

Severus breezed past him, "I see that went well," he muttered as he sat a few seats down from Remus who turned on him with narrowed eyes, "Your other half seems rather upset with you Remus... Something wrong?"

"What do you know?"

Severus shrugged but the smirk on his face said it all, "I know only that you are a coward. I told Professor (y/l/n) that too but obviously, she didn't heed my advice." Remus growled and without another word, he stood abruptly and stormed out of the Great Hall.

Severus smiled as he took a sip of his tea.

For the next week, all you felt was anger. You were so unbelievably annoyed at him. You couldn't understand why or how he could say such horrible things to you. You were his best friend and all of a sudden because he got a little uncomfortable with adult feelings he had just pushed you away? It just didn't make sense to you.

Of course, you'd told Minerva all about over a cup of chamomile tea as she could tell you needed all the calming remedies you could get, "So how long has it been since you spoke to him?"

"A week."

"And you've not heard his side of the story?"

You frowned, "His side?!" You exclaimed, "Minerva, come on!"

Minerva rolled her eyes, "I think, my dear, what you need is some tough love." You blinked, "Yes, what he did was wrong and hurtful and your anger is certainly justified-"

"Thank you."

"But-"

"But?!"

Minerva gave you a pointed look which you knew to be a warning to stop interrupting her, "But," she continued, "have you ever considered his perspective of things?" You were silent and she smirked slightly, "He lost everyone he cared about, including you when your friendship fizzled. He had no one after that. He barely got by and he didn't form any sort of relationship or friendship with anyone else. For twelve years, whilst you lived your life probably experienced love and lots of friendships am I right?-" you gave a small nod, "he didn't. So how hard do you think it would be for you if after twelve years of pure isolation you were thrust back together with a former friend? Despite how he feels, this is all so new again to him, it's a new and unnatural and..." She trailed off, expecting you to finish the sentence.

Your facial expression had softened significantly and McGonagall sat back in her chair taking a long sip of tea as she smiled triumphantly, "He's scared."

McGonagall hummed as she swallowed her tea, "Wouldn't you be?" Her voice was soft, "So yes, while he is indeed in the wrong for saying those things to you, it came from a place of fear not hatred. He's protecting himself and protecting you... I think he deserves to say his piece to you, do you not agree?"

You sighed, "Yeah... I... I hadn't thought about that." It was true, you'd been wrapped in your bubble of anger, furious that he did this but not trying to understand why, "You're right, Minerva. I need to go talk to him. Talk not shout."

As you left Minerva's office, your stomach flipped uncomfortably. You hated being wrong, you hated having to swallow your pride it just wasn't a pleasant experience. You checked your watch for the time and realised that Lupin would be teaching his third years soon so you hurried along and up various staircases to get to his classroom. You didn't know what you were going to say but you knew that you were going to listen.

Remus was inside his classroom shuffling through various essays his students had written him when you knocked on his door. He didn't hide his surprise at all, "(y/n)," he said, voice quiet, "What are you doing here?" He truly thought that you would never speak to him again.

"I wanted to apologise for-"

He cut you off, "You have nothing to apologise for. I was so out of order and so monstrous to you. I apologise. I am so deeply, truly sorry. I never meant it." He was being sincere, you could tell by his eyes, "I-" he had so much that he wanted to say but the clock chimed and he knew students would be arriving soon. He cursed which made you smile slightly, "I've got a lesson just now," he thought for a second then suggested, "why don't you stay for it? It's just my third years and we're just going to be fighting a Boggart." He gestured over to the wardrobe that stood in the middle of the class, "It shouldn't take too long. We can speak afterwards-" because I have so much I want to tell you, he thought.

You nodded, "Okay," you agreed quietly.

As students began to filter in, you smiled as various greeted you. Harry, Hermione and Ron all seemed positively happy that you were here. You let Remus tell his class what they'd be doing, teaching them how to use the Riddikulus spell to change the Boggart. You were perched on a stool to the side of the class, watching him with curious eyes. He was a natural at this. He was so good at teaching, at holding the attention of the young students. He was so clever and he was using that for good; to teach and help students learn. You caught yourself smiling like a schoolgirl at him and quickly forced yourself to remain straight faced but as you looked at the students you saw Hermione look at you with a knowing smile.

"Okay, ready and-" Remus opened the wardrobe door brandishing... Snape?

Your head whipped to who's Boggart it was and you understood. Poor Neville Longbottom. You'd heard first hand how cruel Snape could be to the quiet boy so his fear was understood. Neville used the Riddikulus to transform Snape's robes into his grandmother's clothing. It was you who gave the loudest laugh in that classroom. Neville grinned at you. Ron Weasley was up next turning a spider to a spider on skates. The class continued until it got to Harry and you stood up realising what his worst fear could be. Would it be Voldemort? If so, that wasn't something you wished the class would see. The Boggart twisted to become a large dark Dementor, floating towards him, its bony fingers extended to him. It truly was a wretched thing. Harry blanched and you moved forwards-

But Remus was quicker.

He slid in front of Harry with ease and the Dementor twisted and transformed into...

The whole class gasped.

It was you. You on the ground dead beneath a large white full moon. Your hand covered your mouth, breath trembling beneath them as your heart thudded in your chest. You dying was Remus's worst fear. You put the puzzle together Remus's true worst fear was killing you on a full moon. He did care for you.

Remus snapped a loud, "Riddikulus!" and the moon blew up like a balloon, your image fading from view, and then began to release all of the air from it, flying around the room until Remus used his wand to throw it back inside the wardrobe. You were still staring at the space where your body had been lying. Remus's cheeks were scarlet as he quickly muttered a dismissal to his students but they were unmoving and when you looked at them, you found them all staring back at you. They were all shocked minus one Hermione Granger who was smiling.

"I said class dismissed!" Remus exclaimed, "Out with you all, go!" There was a tenseness to his voice that rarely appeared so upon hearing it, the class scampered. The whispers and murmurs were loud as they all left and then, there was silence.

Remus had his back turned to you, breathing deeply, and you could see that his ears were still scarlet. For a moment, neither of you moved. It was you who broke the silence by stepping forwards and saying quietly, "We'll be the talk of the school now..." It was a pathetic attempt at a joke.

Remus swallowed, "I suppose you might believe that I truly didn't mean anything I said that night now."

"I always knew," you said, "I just didn't understand why you said then in the first place but I do now."

His shoulders sagged and he turned to you, cheeks still a rosy pink, "And what do you think?" He eyed you curiously.

"You're scared. I thought it before I entered this class and now I know it to be true. You're scared to let me in... You're scared in case you hurt me." He gave a barely noticeable nod. You were right, "I understand how isolated you've been over the last twelve years and I know that it's hard to trust other people and yourself. I know how difficult it is to open yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt or in your case, getting someone else hurt but... I trust you, Remus. I always have. Do you think you could trust yourself too?"

"It's not quite as easy as that, (y/n)."

"Remus..." You wanted so desperately to cry but that would achieve nothing so instead, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to tell him just how much you cared for him, "who was the one person you confided being a wolf to? The rest of the boys figured it out themselves but you... you told me. Why was that? Why for six months was I the only one who knew?"

"I have something to tell you; something that kills me every day of my life. I'm so ashamed of it and I swore to never tell anyone but- but I feel safe with you. I trust you and I trust that you won't judge me as harshly as others might. You're the one person I truly trust, (y/n)."

Remus faltered, "Because... You were and you remain the one person I trust so wholly and completely." It was the truth.

"You've noticed that I get sick every month. I disappear for a few days and come back a very pale, exhausted version of myself... You always ask why, always concerned about me and I brush it off. There's a reason for that. There's a reason for it all."

A small smile pulled your lips upwards, "You know I trust you the same, too. I've never thought for a moment that you were a monster." Remus looked down, "You have never been a monster and you never will be, despite your condition and flaws and all. You're Remus. You're my Remus." You stepped closed to him and gently, so gently, your fingertips traced the long scar over his face, "My beautiful, silly Remus."

"I'm a werewolf, (y/n)." He couldn't look at you and instead focused on his hands which were clenched together in his lap, "That's what the scars are. I was attacked when I was younger and... every month, I turn."

You could see his jaw clench, the muscles feathering, as he swallowed hard, "Why won't you let yourself be happy, Rem?" You whispered. The way you looked up at him, doe eyed and lips pink and plump.

His eyes were closed, his heart hammering in his chest, as he waited for you to say something but all he heard was a shuffling sound. His heart sank thinking that you'd gotten up and left but he gasped when he felt your hands slide over and into his, slowly prying his fists open to hold his trembling hands.

To be honest, he didn't actually know why this was a hurdle that he couldn't get over. He didn't know why he found it so impossible to let the one person he loved into his life. He had a good reason to but you were here, offering your love to him... so why did he not want it?

"I trust you, Remus Lupin. I trust you first and forever."

A pained expression flashed over Remus's face. He was torn. Despite not meaning any of what he said because you weren't just colleagues, you were more, you had always been more. Remus Lupin was in love with you and he always had been but was he ready to admit that to you? Was he ready to fully admit it to himself? He didn't trust himself, didn't trust his condition and Remus thought so lowly of himself that he didn't understand how someone, especially someone like you, could love him. For the last twelve years, he hadn't let anyone else in. He hadn't trusted anyone, not even himself. He had long since forgotten what it was like to let someone in - fully in - and it terrified him. Remus's mouth opened as though he were going to tell you and god, as he stared into your eyes he really wanted to tell you but there was something in the way. Himself.

"(y/n)..." The way he spoke, the tone alone told you the answer. Quickly, you straightened and stepped back as your own walls built right back up, "I... I don't know what to say."

You forced a smile, shaking your head, "You don't have to say anything, Rem. It's fine." Your voice was too light, too breezy for the heaviness of the conversation.

Remus stepped closer but you stepped away immediately. You were pulling away from him, "I'm just- I'm not ready." It was the truth, he simply just wasn't ready yet and it broke your heart.

"I know," you nodded, giving him another smile yet this one was sad, "it's okay, seriously. I- Just- do you believe me when I say that I trust you and when I tell you that I- that I love you?"

Remus blinked, "I... I know that you care and you trust me somewhat but I don't think you realise the full potential of my-"

"Can I have a go?" You asked, sweeping past him as you gestured to the wardrobe which held the Boggart. Remus gave a confused nod. You opened the door and stepped back, allowing the Boggart the space to transform into... Remus Lupin dead on the floor. Remus took a deep breath, "It's been my boggart since we were in fourth year," you told him as you stared at the lifeless image of him on the floor. You swallowed hard, "it was during your transformation that we had the lesson. I threatened to hex the boys if they dared to tell you... Riddikulus!" The Boggart was forced back into the wardrobe.

"Why... Why did you show me?" Remus's voice was small.

You cleared your throat, "Because I need you to know how deeply I care about you. I need you to know that there is still one person alive on this Earth who thinks the world of you and always has. I need you to know that there is hope still left for you despite the loneliness. I'm not begging you to be with me, that's your choice and I'll respect it... I just need you to know that I am here and I am all in if you are. I..." You couldn't find the words and you desperately needed to prove to him that you were speaking the truth so you did the only thing you could think to do.

You kissed him.

It was soft and only lasted a second or two but it got the message across. With trembling hands, you pulled back and straightened your robes. Judging from the way a red hue crept up Remus's neck to his face and ears, you presumed the message got across. You whispered a goodbye before you left the classroom, heart racing and head spinning. It was your last chance to prove to him that you loved him, that you cared enough to have him flaws and all.

Remus sank into a chair after you'd gone, eyes focused on the spot where the Boggart had transformed into his dead body as his fingertips brushed his lips gently.

The handful of times that you'd seen Remus in the following week, the atmosphere was rather tense and awkward. Despite the two of you agreeing to just be friends, there always seemed to be an elephant in the room; unspoken words always on the tip of your tongue. So honestly, the two of you had been avoiding each other just a little bit.

That was, until, Harry Potter asked Remus if he could learn more about his parents again.

"Can I have another look at the photos you have, Professor?" Harry asked you as he sat forwards on his seat.

You already had it looked out, it was in your desk drawer so you pulled it out and handed it to him. For a few minutes, there was silence as Harry looked through the photo album. You evaded your eyes from the photo of you and Remus as Harry flicked by it. Remus glanced over at you, taking notice that your eyes were set on staring out of the window and not at anything that reminded you of him. His heart panged. It was all his fault and he just wanted to make everything okay again.

"What was he like?" Harry asked curiously.

"Your father was-"

The boy cut Remus off, "No, not my dad... Black. Sirius Black. What was he like before he went dark?"

It was you who answered. Remus was rather shocked by the question, unable to answer or even comprehend an answer, "Harry, I don't want to upset you or make you feel a certain type of way because when we were at Hogwarts, Sirius and your father were the absolute best of friends. I think hearing the good things about Sirius might upset you more than you realise."

Harry frowned, "I just..." He shook his head, "I don't understand how his supposed best friend could betray them, it just doesn't make sense to me."

"Nor us," Remus agreed softly, "Believe me, Harry, I've gone over it again and again in my head. I've thought of our seven years at Hogwarts searching for the slightest glimmer of darkness but... I've never found any."

Harry looked to you, hopeful that you could give him something but you shook your head, "For twelve years, Harry, I've been trying to figure it out."

Harry thought for a moment before sighing, "Well, what was he like anyway?" You asked if he was sure to which he nodded.

"He was the thing that kept us all together, I think. From the word 'go' him and James were the best of friends, thick as thieves. If there was trouble, oh you just knew it started with James and Sirius and ended with me and Remus cleaning up the pieces with Peter running behind us." Remus smiled slightly at your words, "I am so sorry that I can't give you the answer as to why he turned bad, Harry."

"Do you hate him?" Harry asked all of a sudden, "I hate him. I hate him for how he betrayed them. And all the while being my godfather!"

Your eyes widened, "Who told you that?"

Remus frowned at the boy who realised that he'd said too much and slunk back into his seat, "I overheard Professor McGonagall and Fudge talking about it." Harry admitted, "It's true then?"

Remus nodded, "Yes... Sirius Black is your godfather, Harry, and that's why Dementors are here and why Dumbledore's inflicted a strict curfew. They think Black's back to kill you, finish the Potter bloodline once and for all."

He repeated the question, eyes boring into yours for some reason, "Professor (y/n), do you hate him?"

Your stomach flipped uncomfortably. This was something you'd wrestled with for years, "I love the version of Sirius that I knew. The boy who could always make me laugh, who was fiercely protective of his friends - he hexed the first boy who broke my heart you know - the boy who would pull me up to dance around the Common Room. He was brilliant. I love those memories I have of him... But the Sirius Black that I knew would never do what he did to James, Lily, Peter and yourself. That's... That's not my Sirius Black. I don't know what happened to my - our Sirius," you gave Remus a look, "but I hate what he became. I hate that he did that to his best friends. I hate him for what he did, yes."

Harry seemed satisfied with your answer, "Can I hang onto this for a while?" He asked, referring to the photo album, "I don't have many photos or anything of them and it would be-"

"Of course," you said with a soft smile, "I heard what happened at your Quidditch match on Saturday, how are you feeling?" You hadn't attended the match but it was the talk of the school. There had been a Dementor on the Quidditch pitch and it had caused Harry to fall from his broom. Dumbledore had made sure he landed safely but it didn't mean he was completely unhurt.

Harry nodded, "I'm alright. I just... I don't know why Dementors affect me so much. I wish there was a way to stop them."

Remus opened his mouth and you looked to him with a smile, "Well, Harry, there is a spell that casts them away," Remus said softly, "and I would be more than happy to teach you it."

Harry beamed, "Really?"

"He's the best teacher for it," you said to Harry with a warm smile.

"It's not the easiest of spells to conjure so it will take a lot of practice." Harry agreed eagerly with everything Remus was telling him, "And I think it best to not tell anyone about learning it, you know how people can be, I think we keep it between us." Again, Harry nodded, "Why don't you come to my office tomorrow after your last class before dinner, we can practice then?"

"Thank you, Professor."

Harry asked a few more questions about parents, things that no one else would be able to tell him. What was my dad's favourite subject? Did my mum get good grades? What was the wedding like? Was my dad good at Quidditch? What did they want to work as? And after another twenty minutes, you bid goodnight to Harry who scampered off clutching the photo album with everything he had.

Remus hovered in your office as you washed the teacups in the kitchen next door. He noticed you had another photo album laying on the table. Curiously, he picked it up and started to flick through it. It was photos of your life after Hogwarts, after James and Lily's deaths, after Peter's death and Sirius's imprisonment... after him. There were various faces, none of which he knew or recognised, but he with every turn of the page his curiosity only grew larger. Photos of you posing at monuments, photos of you laughing with a dark haired woman and blonde woman, photos of you drinking Firewhisky and then he stopped turning when he hit the next section, photos of you with a dark haired very handsome man. There were lots of photos of you and him. Photos where he smiled at you, eyes full of love, photos of you laughing with him, head thrown back as you grinned at the sky, photos of the two of you dancing in the moonlight... a photo of you kissing him and pulling away to grin at the camera. It hurt him knowing how much of a good life you had that he wasn't a part of. He didn't know why it hurt so much to see you happy, to see you living; to see you in love. But my god, it felt like his insides were being torn out through his chest. He hadn't been a part of your life for so long and it hurt knowing that. It hurt knowing that for a decade, you had moved on. You had loved.

You walked through from the kitchen and back to your office where you saw him, photo album in his hands. You raised your eyebrows, surprised that he was going through it but not upset or annoyed. You walked over, seeing the photos he was on, "That was from a rather... odd time in my life."

Remus looked up slightly startled, "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

You shook your head, sitting on the edge of the desk beside him, "That's Ren," you said, pointing at the man who you had seemed so happy with, "I met him through..." you flipped a few pages back and pointed at the dark haired girl in your photos, "Rei. I met her about two years after we lost contact. I had gone travelling around the world to try and force myself to forget about James and Lily. I met Rei and Grace the other girl in the photo. The three of us travelled together for a few months and then Ren joined us, he's Rei's twin brother. They were all Muggles, never knew anything about wizards or magic and I never told them."

Remus's jaw clenched. Somehow knowing his name, personifying him made him feel so much worse.

"Our relationship developed really quickly. He was going back home in two months so the two of us wanted to experience as much as we could together. It all happened very quickly, very heavy... He asked me to come back home with him, move with him, told me that he loved me, he wanted to marry me."

"And- And you didn't want to?"

You shook your head, "I was running from my past. I was caught up in this dream. When he told me that he loved me, the illusion shattered." Remus asked what you meant, "For two years, I jumped from thing to thing to distract myself from the loss of our friends and that's what I'd been doing. Travelling with barely any money, taking up odd jobs here and there to make enough to get me to a new city, making random friends and travelling with them for a while. When I met Ren, he was... fun. He was safe, you know? He made me feel good about myself but... I was using him to forget about everything else in my life. I had lied about everything, who I was, where I came from, what I did for a living... The only true thing I told him was my name. The next day, I came home. Moved back in with my parents. Got a job in a pub and tried to heal."

Remus's face softened.

"It took a while for me to save up enough to move out. I worked in the pub and did tutoring for all sorts of instruments on the side. Took years for me to have a decent night's sleep without dreaming about Sirius, James and Lily..." You plucked another photo album from your desk, "This album was the subsequent years until now." You flicked through it, "I tried to focus on finding joy again." You pointed to a picture, "Bought a shop, turned it into a music shop. Tutoring on the side still, offerings lessons in-shop as well."

Remus was fascinated. He wasn't jealous or angry now knowing the real story of what happened with Ren, now he was just curious.

"Built that up. Still have it, I have someone running it for me just now whilst I'm here. When I saw the advertisement for a Muggle Music teacher here... I jumped at the chance. I'm sure you did the same. I had removed myself from the Wizarding World pretty much because again it was all too painful but when I saw the job come back, I thought that coming back would be the final step in my healing journey."

"And has it been?"

You frowned, taking the two photo albums and tucking them away, "I don't think the healing process is ever truly done. Seeing you again, being back in Hogwarts with you again... it's done a lot of good for me, honestly but that doesn't mean it's been easy. Healing isn't linear... might not ever be done healing."

"Do you regret coming back?"

You shook your head, "Not at all. I reconnected with my best friend and I get to spend time with James's son... Absolutely no regrets."

Remus felt rather ashamed that he'd gotten so jealous over looking at your photos with a former lover. It hurt him in ways it shouldn't because you were here, you'd been offering him the chance of happiness and he had rejected you multiple times so truly, he had no right to be jealous over it.

"I..." He frowned, unsure where to start, "After James and Lily, I pulled away from you when I should've clung to you. I was scared, honestly. Scared of losing the last person I loved... I tried to slot into the Muggle world too but it wasn't too kind to me. I couldn't keep steady employment when you know of my condition. After a few months of me steadily phoning in sick for a week at a time every four weeks, I usually ended up being sacked. I barely had enough money for my rent and for food so I had no chance of making Wolfsbane to aid me... My mother had passed but I didn't dare go back home to my father despite how happy he was to see me. I couldn't endanger him so my only choice was to take odd jobs. Jobs that were far below my level of skill and expertise but I had to."

He clicked his tongue, "Sometimes I'd pop into Diagon Alley and would find some Wizards who needed help clearing out a Boggart or things like that so would do that but most of the time it was jobs like cleaning a pub, helping out at a farm, deliveries... Mostly that sort of thing... I had seen the Defence post being advertised each year and it was Dumbledore himself actually who sought me out this year. He convinced me to come... There were a lot of times where I hadn't enough money for the basic necessities. I still don't, as you can see by my clothes and belongings. Everything I own is second hand and in tatters." He felt ashamed again. Shame burned hot on his face and in the pit of his stomach. Poor, penniless Remus his mind taunted, "In twelve years, you seem to have accomplished a lot and I have accomplished very little." Remus continued, "That's part of the reason I cannot be with you. Aside from being a werewolf, I have nothing to my name. I'm poor and I can't give you the life you deserve... that and I could maul you at any full moon." The last part was said with some form of bitter humour.

Your heart ached for him, "Just because you have less that a person does not mean that you are less than them," you reminded him gently, taking his cold hand and grasping it tightly in your own, "Penniless or not, Rem, that's not why I care the way I do about you." For a moment, hope surged inside him warming the coldest cockles of his heart but quickly, he extinguished that hope, sliding his hand from yours. You tried not to let the action hurt you or - at the very lease - try not make it obvious that it did.

The two of you had experienced completely different experiences in the last twelve years. One had gone off, making a better life for themselves and in some respects had been rather successful and the other had suffered, barely skimming by. Yet neither of you were entirely different people. Yes, Remus's face was tired with more lines and a weary look in his eye. He wasn't as brave as he once was, he was isolated but you knew that your Remus was still in there, you would often catch glimpses of him every so often. You were just as outspoken as you once were though you were angrier, less happy. Remus noticed that when you concentrated on something you always frowned whereas before your eyebrows would raise in wonder. Different but not completely. Partly a stranger, partly familiar. It was a weird sort of limbo the two of you were caught in.

Remus swallowed and cleared his throat after a few minutes of silence, "I should go." You let him go and once he was gone, you found yourself closing your eyes, fingertips dancing over your other palm as you tried your hardest to retain the details of how his hand felt in yours.

Remus stood outside your classroom, heart beating like a drum. Remus had always been a very level-headed person, always listening to his head and never to his heart but tonight was different. His mind whirred with ideas, questions, thoughts and fantasies that he couldn't stamp down. The light tendrils of hope that he had thought he extinguished reached out wrapping themselves around his heart and squeezing until it was almost all covered. His head fell back against the door of your classroom as he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight his own compulsion.

"Bugger it to all Hell."

And then in not Remus Lupin fashion, he threw open your classroom door and marched towards your office with determined stomps. He didn't hesitate.

"You hesitate, Moony," James said with a shake of the head, "Every time there's an opportunity to tell Ghost, you hesitate!"

"What's wrong with hesitating?"

"You hesitate and it means you think and your brain is its own worst enemy! Don't hesitate, don't think... just do."

Remus opened your office door and found you were still perched on the edge of the desk, staring intently down at your hands with an unreadable expression. It took until Remus was halfway to you to realise that he was there.

"Rem?" You asked confused as you looked up at him, "What are you-"

Just do.

His hands, steady and warm, planted themselves on your cheeks and you barely had time to register the fact he was holding your face when he was kissing you. It was a bold, brave kiss and fireworks seemed to explode in your stomach. He was here. Your Remus. You melded into his touch, hands finding themselves clasping his shirt, you could feel his chest beneath it, feel his heart beating wildly under your fingers. The kiss was deep and passionate and Remus's body moved into yours, his leg between yours but the need for air was too great and all too soon, Remus had detached his lips from yours leaving you both breathless and rather flushed. His forehead fell to yours, pressing against it gently as you panted and then he pulled away slightly. His pupils were dilated and his skin had a rather healthy rosiness to it.

He opened his mouth and then he... hesitated and he began to think, "Goodnight, (y/n)," he whispered, breath fanning over your face before he completely pulled himself away from you leaving your office and your classroom rather hurriedly. You stayed staring at the place where his face had been, happy and rosy, as your fingers moved to your lips feeling the ghost of his on yours as you tried to comprehend what had just happened.

Remus's face burned scarlet the whole walk two floors down to his classroom and when he got there, he cast the locking charm so that no one could bother him. He went straight to his office and through to the adjoining bedroom where he collapsed onto the bed, hands over his face as he tried to calm his drumming heart.

It took a long time for you to wrap your head around the events of the last few minutes with Remus. Yes, you had kissed him the previous week but this was different. This was Remus kissing you. This was Remus finally allowing himself to feel for you, letting his heart take over for a change. This was entirely different. Your hands shook with excitement as you got dressed for bed and when you finally settled beneath the duvet, your mind reeled with questions of what would be.

Remus stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep, as his mind berated him over and over. He felt stupid. He felt silly for letting his heart take over. With a loud groan, he stood up, dressing back into his outdoor clothes. A walk, he decided firmly, a walk to calm the nerves. Memories of ghosts past continued to creep up on him.

"Moony, you seriously have got to stop thinking!" Sirius hissed to him as he joined the two boys by the fireplace in the Common Room, "You just have to tell her how you feel."

"What if she doesn't feel the same?" Remus asked with a pointed look to James who threw himself back dramatically with his arms in the air in an exasperated show, "I'm-"

"I'll hex you if the next word to leave your mouth is 'dangerous' or 'a monster'," James snarled before his face softened, "Moony, we know for a fact she likes you."

"(y/n)'s bloody told us before you dolt!" Sirius scowled, "You're a Gryffindor, Moony, use some of that lion courage and tell her."

Remus's mind was made up and he slunk into the red armchair, "But I'm not a lion, am I? I'm a wolf."

His two best friends exchanged tired looks, "But if you never tell her, if you never take the chance... Will you ever be truly happy?" It was James who spoke, "Will she ever be truly happy if the boy she adores never makes a move?"

"No, I suppose you're right," Remus said softly, "but... she'd be safe."

tag list: @foodpills@fairyy27@queen-of-disaster-222@moon-witchs-world@poppysavage11@wildtigerlili@lupinandtonks@eury-dice3@qweengigi@magical-spit@jennifer0305 CALLSIGNWIDOW SPIDERMANSOLOSURFAV ROARHAVENSEND RYOIII CHAOSOFMANYFANDOMS BONZA-BEAR FLUFFYBUNNYU REESEEVERHART FANBOYLUVR

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t0yac1d · 9 months

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mondo, byakuya and kazuichi x fem (or gn) s/o who’s like mikan? (ex. clumsy, low self esteem, stuttery, shy, etc :D) thanks so much! i love your writing btw <3

Danganronpa Boys x Shy!F!Reader

Characters: Mondo Owada, Byakuya Togami & Kazuichi Souda

Word Count: 656

☆Mondo Owada would always stay close to you incase you trip, and when you do he catches you before you hit the floor, holding you close to him and making sure you're okay. With your low self-esteem he makes sure to tell you that you're beautiful, gorgeous, smart, incredible and all of the above. He makes sure that you know that he wants and loves you for you and not your looks and that he really does love you and all of your flaws.

He also doesn't mind your stuttering, he tells you that it's okay and to take your time, he doesn't mind waiting for you to tell him what's on your mind. He's also fairly patient and thinks your shyness is adorable, how you blush when you're nervous and how you turn your head away from him when you get slightly embarrassed. He loves it all and loves all of you.

☆Byakuya Togami doesn't really stay as close to you like Mondo. He stays in his space, but when you trip and fall into a revealing pose he's immediately by your side and covering you up with his jacket. He'd glare at any person laughing or looking at you. He'd deal with your low self-esteem by also giving reassurance. If you think a certain outfit would make you feel more confident in the way you look then he'd buy it for you, he feels as though if something makes you feel better about yourself or if a certain clothing brand would make you feel confident in your skin then he'd buy it immediately just for you.

But that doesn't mean he'd do it all of the time. He'd sit you down and have a heart to heart with you, he'd ask you why you think so badly about yourself and help you overcome that feeling and he'd keep doing it until you can look in the mirror and whole heartedly appreciate yourself. Now, with your stuttering. He's not a patient person, but he'd try to be and he's trying really hard to be patient. It's a work in progress but he's progressing really well, overtime he became extremely patient and would much rather wait for you to speak before speaking himself. Let's be honest, your shyness is what drew him close to you. I don't make the rules, he absolutely loves your shyness and the habits you do. Would he actually say this out loud? Hell no. But everyone with eyes can tell that he's absolutely smitten about you.

☆Kazuichi Souda is like Mondo, always around you and by your side. If you trip he'd catch you, but he's also pretty clumsy himself so he'd fall on top of you. But his body is covering you so anyone that passes by just thinks he stumbled onto you, which embarrasses you both even more. But as long as you're covered and not in any revealing pose, he's fine with getting teased about falling on you. If I'm being honest I think he'd absolutely suck at helping you with your low self-esteem only because he has the same problem. He'd try to help but he's scared that he'd accidentally make it worse. So your best bet is for the both of you to help each other and grow together.

When you stutter he finds it adorable and mentions it when you do which causes you to stutter even more. Same goes for your shyness, he loves it and it's what made him fall for you. He never saw anyone so cute in his life and so he immediately fell head over heels for you, even though he never actually spoke to you. But when he did he almost passed away because just looking at your already pinkish cheeks and how you slightly turn away when speaking just made his heart speed up. He's literally so in love with you, no one can even fathom the amount.

#fluff #dr1 x reader #dr1 mondo owada #dr1 byakuya togami #dr1 byakuya #dr2 x reader #dr2 kazuichi souda #mondo owada x reader #byakuya togami x reader #kazuichi souda x reader #dr1 trigger happy havoc #dr2 goodbye despair

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life-is-more-than-just-a-game · 3 months

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♠️ "Scars don't make you a monster." ♠️

A/N: So, someone gave me this request via direct message and what should I say? I really do like this idea and I'm pretty happy about the fact that I can wrote about it! 🫶🏻

Characters: Niragi

POV: fem!reader ; Fluff

Warnings: Not given.

It's in the middle of the night. I have never been the person who has problems sleeping through the night. Even the biggest noises couldn't stop me from slumbering soundly. In summer, I can leave the windows open and listen to the buzzing and singing of the insects without a care in the world until I drift off into dreamland. Wind and weather don't stop me either. You could say that my body is able to adapt to all the conditions of my environment. So ... even now, when I realize in my sleep that something - more someone - is missing next to me.

I've noticed it all along. Even when I met Niragi again, I had the feeling that he had changed. Not in terms of his appearance- at least that was never the deciding factor for me. Admittedly, when I saw him again for the first time after the witch hunt, I was ... shocked. Because of several aspects. His scars - his burnt skin - was one thing, but seeing him again when I once thought he ... would no longer be with us, that was the crux of my reaction. That I drew in a startled breath. That I looked at him in shock and, of course, in tears, which I had swallowed at that moment. I was ... simply happy. To see that he was still alive.

Anyway, this is the first time I've had to open my eyes in the middle of the night because my body couldn't adapt to my surroundings during sleep. As soon as I went to bed, I had a feeling that something was wrong with Niragi. And it looks like I'm about to find out whether my gut feeling was right or not. Deep down, I already know the answer, but I want to hear it from him. I want him to tell me what's going on in his head right now. How he feels. What is bothering him. If something is bothering him.

Looking thoughtfully at my partner's side of the bed, I gradually start to move, hoping it won't take me long to find him. So, sighing and wearily brushing my hair out of my face, I get up and put one foot in front of the other to look for Niragi, who apparently hasn't even bothered to really hide.

"Niragi, what's wrong?" I rub one of my eyes sleepily and look just as sleepily at the boy standing on the balcony of the building where we've set up camp today. "Come back to bed, it's still pitch dark."

"I can sleep when I'm dead." It's not that I wouldn't expect him to say something like that- but what worries me is the way he says it.

Instead of saying anything, however, I just stand still for a moment and stare over at him. He doesn't even dare to turn towards me when we talk. I don't know him like this at all.

"I'm worried about you," you say in a calm tone as you walk towards him, aiming to stand next to him so you can look over the rooftops of the city with him. "Somehow I don't recognize you anymore," you continue, "where's the Niragi I met at the beach? The one with the big mouth and the high self-confidence, with the will of a leader?" Silence.

A moment later, all I hear is a hysterical giggle, which was obviously not the result of amusement or mirth. No, it sounded ... forced ... and hurt at the same time.

"He's been burned." Such a simple answer, but one with such great significance. "You should really go back to bed now."

"I'm not going anywhere." Determined, I now walk the last few meters towards him, after which I stand next to him. "Not without you." Unlike what I had planned, however, I don't stand so that I can see the loss, dark surroundings, but so that I am facing Niragi directly. "I knew something was wrong with you. I could tell by looking at you. Even yesterday, when you wished me a good night, your eyes betrayed you- so please don't pretend you don't care." Pause. "You are a human being. Not a robot."

"I'm a monster, Y/N!", he yelled at me and I jumped back a little because he turned around so suddenly and unexpectedly to finally look me in the face. "I can't even understand how you could even look at me on the street without throwing up right at my feet!" But just as quickly as he hit the ceiling, he quickly calmed down again.

I am sad. Is that really what he thinks? Does he really see himself as he has just described? As a monster? Oh, I'd love to ask what makes him think that, but I won't. I know the reason. His burns. The scars Chishiya left on him are the reason he speaks so poorly of himself. And it hurts. It hurts to know that a person in whom you see everything wonderful and whom you love for who he is, thinks of himself like that.

"Oh, darlin', that's not true ..." I realize how pitiful I'm looking at him right now, the softer his features become and the more he shows his mental pain to the outside world. "Please, don't say that ... Scars don't make you a monster."

"Just tell me how you can look at me like that without being afraid of me. How you ... how you can hold me in your arms without being disgusted by my skin. Without worrying about hurting me or feeling the need to puke your soul o-" I don't want to hear about that.

I understood the question. He wants answers? He'll get them. My way. The way in which I don't let him speak, but simply put one of my arms loosely around his neck to pull him into a loving kiss that for just a moment - a brief moment - is supposed to make the world stop for him.

Something that seems to work well. At least he abruptly matches my rhythm and wraps his arms around my waist to press me closer to him. To be able to feel me even better. To feel that he is not alone. Will not be alone. And to feel that there is someone who can be there for him and wants to be there.

I ... have to admit that no kiss with him was as beautiful as this one. Niragi is a rough person. He gets what he wants, his kisses were molded to his personality. Ungentle. Lots of tongue and especially biting. All the more reason for me to enjoy the kiss we're sharing right now, because who knows if I will ever experience this again.

Nevertheless, you should stop where it gets most beautiful. Although the really nice part - for him - is probably only now. One answer. An answer that will answer all his questions in one fell swoop.

"I love you," I breathe to him, tilting my head a little to the side as I look up at him and into his eyes. "That's why I can do all this, Niragi, it ... It's not as complicated and complex as you might have thought." I gave him a little smile and I can see it in his face- he's smiling a little, too. "And now come back to bed. You need to rest a bit and give your injuries a treatment. And by the way ... I'm tired and want to go back to sleep." Laughter, which only comes from me, but that's okay- his smile is enough for me. "Plus, I'm in desperate need of a good cuddle from you right now." Now, I can hear him chuckle a little and damn, it's the most beautiful I could ever hear coming out from him.

After another peck on the lips from him, I take him by the hand and walk him back into the building, where a place to sleep is waiting for us. In passing, I hear him say "I don't deserve you ...", which was probably only meant for him. But ...

"If everyone only got what they deserved, they couldn't possibly be happy in their lives, don't you think?"

A/N: Damn, I enjoyed writing this so much. Thanks for you request, stygianoir! Hope you enjoyed reading it as well. 🙈♥️

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baldursgat3 · 4 months

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im back and I'm bringing part 1 of enemies to lovers with me. this was originally gonna be another one shot but I hit 4k words before it could even really get started so this is chapter 1 I guess

originally I was writing this as Tav and then promptly realized it could not possibly be Tav so they're still pretty Tav-ish but I gave them a different name.

cw for brief mentions of non-consensual sex

It hadn't taken long for you and Sebastian to figure out the same man had lured both of you to your shared fate. The strongest bond you ever shared with him was your burning hatred of that beautiful man who had brought you to this horrid place. You would never forgive him. Never ever. For the rest of your immortal life you would burn with a rage and fury against the man who had condemned you to this unyielding nightmare. He had been so kind. His voice was so sweet and charming. He had captured your heart, you had trusted him completely. Maybe it was your own fault for leaving your heart so open, but you had fallen for him so quickly. You had only wanted to love him, and he destroyed you.

He spotted you instantly as you entered the tavern. How could he not? You were gorgeous. More importantly, you were alone. What was someone like you doing drinking by themselves on such a lovely evening?

It was so rare that he found such a decadent quarry. Half the people he brought back to Cazador weren't even interesting enough to remember their faces. Perhaps that was cruel but, after luring countless people to their deaths, he found it easier not to try to remember in the first place.

Still, Cazador was always so pleased when he could bring back such lovely prey. You were sure to fetch him some small reward. At the very least, he certainly wouldn't be punished for it.

With an easy, confident charm, he strode over to the table where you sat alone, watching the various patrons as they went about their business. “Is this seat taken?” His words were sweet as honey, already laying on the charm as he smiled at you.

You hadn't exactly been anticipating anyone interrupting your evening of lazy people watching but, admittedly, there were far worse people that could've been engaging with you. “Oh, uh...” Gods he was gorgeous. What was someone like him doing talking to someone like you? “No, no. Please.” You gestured towards the seat, encouraging him to join you.

He gave you a small, courteous nod as he took his seat across from you. “Tell me, what's a stunning little thing like you doing all alone in a dingy place like this, hm?” A smile danced across his lips as he leaned on the table.

Oh, he was flirting with you. That was odd. You weren't used to that, certainly not from a stranger. You drew your shoulders up a bit, your face turning red as you glanced away from him. “I, ah… I'm just trying to get out more. My friends say I spend too much time in my books so… I'm getting out.”

“And you're… just sitting alone at a tavern?” He couldn't help the little grin he tossed your way. You were precious.

“W- well… what else am I supposed to do? It worked didn't it? I'm here talking to you now?” Seems you weren't just a blushing mess. You had a bit of a bark on you.

His grin only widened, enjoying your attempt at banter. “You've got me there, darling. I don't believe I caught your name.”

You giggled softly, holding your hand out as you introduced yourself. “My name is Fey.”

He took your hand, bringing it to his lips to place a delicate kiss on your knuckles. You couldn't help the way your cheeks burned, you really had only been going in for a handshake. “A gorgeous name for such a gorgeous creature.”

He was far too good, this man was a grade A flirt. This was almost certainly his game. Wait at a tavern until he spots a pretty little thing to chat up and take home for the evening. You couldn't even really be upset about it, he was so gods damned good at what he did. It didn't matter that you were onto him, he already had his foot in the door with you.

Your face burned red as you turned back to the drink in your hand in an attempt to hide your shame. You were so not used to being flirted with and certainly not in public. More importantly, you could tell he knew that.

He was still holding your hand as he leaned in a bit closer. “There are far nicer places to spend an evening with such a decadent little treat.” He smiled warmly as he watched a blush creep onto your face. “Why don't we take this somewhere more private?”

Was that really all there was to this? Is this how people had one night stands? It was so wildly out of character for you to do something like this but, well, wasn't that why you'd come out in the first place? To step outside your comfort zone?

You tried to find a reason to say no - it's just that you felt like you should. But he was so gorgeous and charming. What was the worst that could happen?

So you just giggled and squeezed his hand with a nervous smile and a soft “Okay!”

~*~*~

You hadn't expected him to take you back to some kind of palace. It wasn't his, he said. He worked and lived there but said guests were perfectly welcome. Astarion had assured you there was nothing to worry about and you simply believed him. Why shouldn't you?

Things were so wonderful too. His charm only increased once he had you alone. Every word that escaped his lips sounded sugar sweet to your ears. It was like he knew exactly what to say to have you melting in his hands. You didn't even notice the distant look in his eyes, he masked it so well with his perfect touches and whispered praise.

Everything was so perfect. Already you could see the look on all of your friend’s faces when you told them what you'd gotten up to. Wouldn't they be proud? You were finally coming out of your shell, and in such a big way.

It scared the daylights out of you when you saw the door to the room swing open suddenly. Astarion had assured you no one would bother you. More importantly you could've sworn you'd seen him locking the door behind you.

Both of you seemed to notice a new presence in the room at the same time. You expected Astarion to start yelling at whoever it was or something. Instead, without a word, you saw the suave, charming demeanor drop from his face. It was replaced with a blank, almost empty look as he pulled away from you.

You watched him, confused, as you scrambled to wrap a blanket around your exposed body. Your gaze darted between Astarion and the new man that had walked into the room as your heart began to race in your chest. In an instant your mind was flooded with every real reason you should've said no to a strange man taking you into a large strange home.

No one knew where you were, no one knew what was happening. You didn't know what was happening.

“Well done, pet. Quite the decadent little treat, isn't she?” The man spoke. His voice could be best described, you felt, as slimy. He held himself with an air of importance as he sauntered towards you.

Astarion stood to the side, his eyes were downcast. He didn't even seem like the same person. His voice was quieter now. “Thank you, master.”

His words petrified you. For whatever reason, he had brought you here for this man, that much was clear. Your voice broke as you tried to speak despite the dread that bubbled up inside of you. “Wh- what's happening…? I- I think I'd like to go home now, actually…”

“Oh no, my dear.” The man spoke again, sending a bolt of panic down your spine. You clutched the blanket tighter to your chest as you watched him move closer to you.

He stood at the side of the bed, watching you with what you could almost describe as glee. Then he smiled and you saw them: sharp fangs that seemed to almost glint in the candlelight.

The pieces fell into place quickly as the blood drained from your face. You cast a glance back to Astarion - a desperate look, begging for his help. He didn't meet your gaze, his eyes focused squarely on the ground in front of him.

You felt the strange man grab your face, turning your head, forcing you to look him in the eye. His red eyes were almost… captivating. You felt yourself sinking into them, like you could just stare into them forever and ever.

“Follow.” He commanded. Your body replied and you didn't think anything of it until he pulled his gaze away from you. He held you by the wrist, tugging you out of the bed and your body followed obediently.

Though your body moved on its own, compelled by the stranger, you managed a brief glance back before the door slammed shut behind you. Astarion had finally lifted his head, only a bit. It only broke your heart more, what you saw on his face. No regret, no sadness. Only a blank, empty stare.

And then he was gone. Then everything was gone.

~*~*~

You didn't know how long you had been down there. Part of you felt perhaps you should at least be grateful you weren't one of the spawn being held in the large, dark chamber just beyond the heavy doors outside of your own cell. You weren't though.

No, you were part of such a special collection. There were six of you now. All held in one cell close to Cazador's private quarters. His little collection of prized dolls for his personal use.

Sebastian had been the first. By the time you had been tossed in beside him, he’d already been in there all alone for seven years. The two of you had bonded over your shared fear and sorrows. It could never go any further. Neither of you were capable of anything more than being a vague comforting presence to the other. And, eventually, more people joined you in your cell anyway.

You would never forgive him. Never ever. For the rest of your immortal life you would burn with a rage and fury against the man who had condemned you to this unyielding nightmare.

He had been so kind. His voice was so sweet and charming. He had captured your heart, you had trusted him completely. Maybe it was your own fault for leaving your heart so open, but you had fallen for him so quickly. You had only wanted to love him, and he destroyed you.

Everything was gone now. Every time someone new was tossed into your cell, always another victim of Astarion's, you were granted another look into how the world had changed without you. Your friends and family, all gone. Buildings you had once known had been torn down and rebuilt. Just from the descriptions, you felt as though you wouldn't even recognize half of your city if you could ever see it again.

It had been busy, lately. Cazador had been bustling about, preparing for this ritual or whatever. You'd heard whispers it would destroy all of the spawn. You didn't care. Besides, you'd heard your master’s voice angrily demanding people “find that wretched boy.”

Astarion had escaped. Somehow. Of course he had. The man who ruined your life would be the one to escape this misery, of course. You didn't know what you'd done to deserve such punishments from fate. Was it so necessary to kick you when you were down?

You had been curled up in a corner of the cell, unmoving, possibly for weeks at this point. There was no reason to waste the effort it took to move. You were hungry, starving, ravenous. You hadn't had a thing to eat in well over a century now and your body was weak. There was no reason to waste precious energy standing or thinking, so you curled in your corner and you stared at nothing until your eyes glassed over.

Sebastian’s voice pulled you out of it. The six of you had nothing left to talk about so you didn't bother. It had been quite some time since you heard any of their voices. “You… I know you.”

Slowly, you managed to pull yourself back into the present. There were several people standing in front of your cell. Strangers. A tiefling, a wizard, a githyanki, and… Him.

That white haired elf. That gorgeous man with his beautiful eyes and his silky sweet voice. He was speaking to the strangers and he looked almost… sad? You wanted to reach out and claw his throat open.

“I know these people…” He said, softly. “They were my… conquests.” His eyes met yours only for a brief moment. You felt an energy bubble up inside of you that you hadn't felt in so very long.

Still, you were starving and weak. It was all you could do to pull yourself up. You crept a bit closer as Sebastian shouted at Astarion. Your heart felt for him as he broke down.

You didn't have the energy nor the desire to add your own commentary. Nothing you could say would be any different than what Sebastian had said anyway.

The wizard spoke too, eventually promising to free all of the spawn. What a stupid idea. Not that you were going to complain. Weren't wizards supposed to be smart or something though? It didn't matter anyway, as soon as Cazador spotted Astarion it would probably be all over in a matter of minutes. You weren't exactly placing all your hopes and dreams on the man that ruined your life.

You heard him as they walked away though. He bickered with the wizard. It wasn't surprising when you heard him insist the spawn were too dangerous to leave alive. Of course he wanted to get rid of you. He was nothing if not a selfish, uncaring bastard. So why did his words make your heart ache so much. Why was he hurting you again, even now, after all this time?

The stupid little adventuring party traipsed their merry way through the heavy doors into the chamber beyond, leaving you all in silence again as the doors slammed shut. Good riddance. They wouldn't be walking back out, you were certain. Not that you'd even be around to find out. If they died, so would you. They were stupid enough to drag Astarion right back to the man who was going to destroy all of you. Why was your life always in the hands of anyone but yourself?

You and your cellmates chatted idly now, about the possibility that those idiots might actually succeed. About how it felt to see Astarion again. They all seemed… eager. They wanted to get out, to be free, to finally just eat something. You understood but you hadn't expected to be the odd man out.

Why would you bother leaving? There was nothing for you out there. Something to eat, sure. But what did that matter? You'd been starving for a century. At some point, it stopped bothering you. When all you can feel is your hunger gnawing endlessly at your bones for decades upon decades, you learn to ignore it.

Even if you escaped, you'd have to hunt. You'd have to kill something. Or someone. Likely whatever was closest. All of you were so weak though, you couldn't possibly stand a chance. You'd probably be killed before your first meal.

It sure was taking Cazador a long time to complete the ritual.

You leaned up against the wall, largely disinterested in the direction the conversation had drifted. Honestly, you thought they were all foolish for getting their hopes up. Not that you cared enough to say so. If they wanted to be happy, good for them. They deserved a spark of happiness.

Without any kind of pretense, the door to your cell suddenly dropped. It startled most of you, actually, you watched your companions all jump as the magic faded away with a hiss. No one moved for a moment, all of you just watching cautiously. Sebastian was the first to move, of course he was. He slowly stepped out of the cell, waiting for some kind of alarm to ring or for Cazador to swoop in and punish all of them for daring to think they could escape.

Yet there was nothing. Not even a whisper as the air hung heavily over the entire room. Even the children across the way didn’t speak. Slowly, everyone crept out of the cells, following Sebastian through the large doors into the chamber below. You didn’t follow. You only sat back down in your corner.

You had no intention of trying to force anyone to stay, but you were a little surprised that no one stayed with you. They actually didn’t even seem to notice you’d stayed behind. Not that it really mattered, you supposed. If your plan was to waste away forever down here, you didn’t exactly want a bunch of company.

They must’ve gone somewhere, they never came back through the hallway. None of the spawn did anyway. But the door did open again and you heard people quietly speaking to each other. Of course it was Astarion and his stupid friends. He wasn’t even the one to notice you, it was the tiefling that met your gaze.

“Hey! There’s one still in here, guys.” She grabbed the attention of the other three, as they turned and spotted you in the shadows.

“They’re taking all the spawn to the Underdark.” The wizard stepped closer, holding a hand out to you with a gentle smile. “Come on, you’ll catch up.”

“I’m not leaving.” Your voice was flat and seemed to confuse all of them. You stared at the hand that was offered to you. A small part of you felt like swatting it away, almost offended that he would assume you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. Still, you knew he didn’t mean anything by it. He was just trying to be helpful.

Astarion stepped forward now, more confused than any of them seemed to be. His hands were covered - absolutely covered in blood. He was here. And Cazador wasn’t. Of course he had been the one to kill the bastard. Of course Astarion got that luxury too. His voice made your skin crawl as he spoke to you for the first time in nearly two hundred years. “What do you mean you're not leaving? You're just going to sit in here and starve with the door wide open?”

“I've been starving for decades, what's your point?” There wasn't a reason for Cazador to bother feeding any of them. They didn't go out hunting for him, they only needed enough energy to sit and rot in a cell. And they wouldn't die without food so there was no point. Even the six of you, Cazador's special little toys, feeding you would've only made it easier for you to fight back.

Astarion scoffed - he scoffed at you. Your blood was already boiling and you were sure it was clear on your face just how angry you were. “So after all we did to free you, you're just going to sit here?”

“You say it as though it was a gift that you gave me personally” You scoffed right back. You didn't have the energy to move or stand up to fight him like you wished you could. He was so close, if only you had the strength to reach out and strangle him to death. “You let all of us go. So what if one stays behind? I'm not going to go terrorize the city once you leave, if that's what you're worried about.

“We don't know that. How am I supposed to trust you?” His eyes narrowed as he stared down at you. Your eyes were so much more tired as you stared at him right back. You were exhausted and angry. Nothing else mattered.

You set your jaw, staring him down, despite still sitting on the ground. “You don't fucking remember me at all, do you?”

“Of course I recognize you, I-”

“What's my name?”

“What?” You saw the look in his eyes when you asked the question. He didn't need to respond for you to know the truth, you could read it in his eyes.

Your own eyes narrowed as you glared at him. “What's. My. Fucking. Name.”

He cast a glance over towards his companions, almost helpless all of a sudden. His shoulders dropped as he finally looked back at you, an embarrassed, apologetic look in his eyes. “I… I don't remember… I'm sorry.”

A short, bitter laugh escaped your lips as you sat back against the wall, finally looking away from him. “Get away from me.” Your voice just sounded so resigned.

“You can't stay down here.” His eyes were gentler now, his voice a bit more tender. As though he actually was trying to seem like he cared. You didn't trust him further than you could throw him and, considering you couldn't even stand up right now, that wasn't far.

“I'll do whatever I damn well please. Haven't you done enough?”

“Look…” He cast another glance towards his friends who all looked like they'd rather do anything else but get in the middle of this conversation. “You say that now, but in ten years or twenty or a hundred, you'll get bored down here. And you won't have anywhere to go.”

“I'm not spending my days in the Underdark. I don't care. I'm not going to follow them. I don't have anywhere to go right now.”

“Then- then come with us!” He blurted out abruptly, not bothering to actually check with his companions.

You shot a look back to him like he was fucking stupid. Maybe he was. “Why in the hells would you want me to come with you? You ruined my life, I want to fucking kill you and you're inviting me to move in?” Maybe Cazador really had just broken his brain.

“The spawn is right.” You heard the githyanki speak up. “They're weak and useless now, and when they do grow stronger they'll only cause problems. There’s no reason for this. If they wish to rot, I say we let them.”

At least someone here was making some kind of sense. She seemed to be outnumbered though as the tiefling woman spoke up again. “You would be safer with us, you know. I know you hate him, and you've got every right to-”

“Excuse me?”

“But we can't change the past. You've got a life ahead of you now! Isn't that exciting? Even if it's not what you wanted, you can't just waste away in here.”

You didn't like the way her voice made your undead heart actually feel like it was beating for the first time in two centuries. You scowled at her for a moment, but it clearly took some effort on your part and you gave up quickly.

Your shoulders slumped and your face dropped as you gave up resisting. It was too difficult, honestly. You were still so exhausted, it was hard to come up with any kind of solid argument against her reasoning. Objectively, you knew it was foolish to waste away down here. And if you said no to this chance, your only other option was the Underdark.

“Fine.”

As soon as the word was out of your mouth, the tiefling woman grinned. She quickly scooped you up from the ground, carrying you bridal style in her arms. She was warm, she was so warm, she was so very very warm against your ice cold skin that had known nothing warm in centuries. It was all you could do not to burst into tears, but you wouldn't. Not in front of him.

The woman carried you out of the cell as you heard the wizard speak up again. “Excuse me! Do I not get a vote in this?”

“Sure, what's your vote?” She asked, not stopping.

They all began following, keeping pace behind her. “I mean, I was going to agree with you but that's not the point. What happened to making decisions as a team?”

“Oh, from you, Mr. I'm Smart Enough To Be The Leader?”

“I have apologized for that multiple times already, can we let it go?”

The two of them bantered so easily. Occasionally the other woman would speak up, offering the odd bit of dry wit and cynicism.

Astarion was uncharacteristically silent. You couldn't care less. If you'd had the strength, you would've pushed him off the stupid narrow bridges of the corridors.

It was hard to think things like that, though, when this very warm woman held you so tight. You had been sitting on the cold stone floor of Cazador's cell for nearly two hundred years. The only reprieve you ever had was when you were in his bed, and you honestly preferred the stone.

But she was warm. And kind. She seemed so genuine. After a while it became fairly obvious she was almost certainly inhumanly warm, but that didn't matter. You felt like you were melting and you wanted to let yourself.

Part of you didn't trust her though. After all, she was with Astarion. But it was hard to listen to that part over how kind her words felt. The way she seemed to care about you despite everything about you. How she managed to actually encourage you to feel… alive again.

#astarion x reader #astarion #bg3 #astarion x oc #my insurance fucked up my antidepressants so this is what i was able to complete in like a month #this and like three abandoned other projects #also can you tell im in love with karlach a little?#shes my wife i love her

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sharedramblings · 1 year

Text

Crafted with Love

Summary: It's finally the time to give her the gift you've been working on.

Author's note: I have a love-hate relationship with this one because this has been in the works since last month. So blame it on that if the writing is inconsistent.

Taglist: @friskyfisher

—-—-

The carefully wrapped box in your hands covered your abdomen as you speed back to the living room, plopping back beside her on the floor.

"Here you go!" You can't help the higher pitch that overtook your voice, or the excited grin on your face, or the slight shake in your body as excitement and anticipation invades you when you finally present to her what you've been working on weeks before this special day.

Larissa's eyes went wide and her eyebrows shot up as she regarded the gift you placed in front of her. The wrapping was a clean color of white, laced in a maroon ribbon. There's a small card attached with a 'Happy Anniversary, My Love!' written on it, a cute tiny heart drawn on the end.

"Thank you, honey." The delight and appreciation evident in the soft and gentle way she said it, as well as the twinkle that you can see in her eyes.

You pecked her cheek and drew back, silently observing her while she couldn't stop looking at it. Her lips tremble a bit, seemingly holding back the entirety of her emotions inside.

"Do you want to open it now?" you inquired, trying to feel what her next move would be.

She looked up at you, a teasing smile on her face. "Hmm, you just want to see my reaction, don't you?"

You nodded immediately. "Always."

Her reactions are addicting, and you'd really want to see her face the moment she opens this particular gift.

The already small distance between your bodies was lessened even more when she moved her head closer to yours, maintaining eye contact as she whispered in a low tone, "I wonder until when will you be so enamored with me"

You watched her lips form the words, mesmerized by the movement, and there was no stopping how your breath hitched. Her normal, speaking voice affects you but her low voice is another thing entirely, and you knew she's doing this solely for that reason. Her light inquisitory note set your mind straight though, and you can't pass up on a reply. "Until forever. Even in the afterlife, I'll still be so in love with you."

The proximity allowed you to see the subtle changes in her face. The way her eyes soften and glimmer, how her blue orbs penetrate your brown ones. The way her lips twitch before giving way to her smile– the prettiest smile you've ever seen. The way her cheeks were dusted with a pink color. You love every little thing about it.

"That's a rather bold declaration, don't you think?" She asked, but there was no hint of doubt. No skepticism. Simply asking purely for the sake of hearing your answer.

"Not when I'm certain of it." She placed a quick but sweet kiss on your lips before turning back to the gift at hand, ending the subject with your confident answer. She reached for the scissors and delicately cut at the wrapping to open the box, gasping when she finally caught sight of the items stored inside.

"Darling..." there were no words after that. Larissa was, to put it plainly, stunned. Her eyes were fixated on what's in front of her, disbelief and surprise written all over her face.

There's three things inside, she observes. Some sort of a small, broad, rectangular thing that resembles a book. On top of that is a slender flipbook-looking stuff with the words 'Care Vouchers for My Darling Headmistress'. Beside it was a paper flower bouquet, a mix of blue, red, yellow, purple, and pink in the shape of roses, lily flowers, peonies, and columbine flowers. Underneath it all were pink and white confetti-like papers to splash some more colors and present the gift up as a whole.

She tenderly picks up the bouquet first, holding it up to admire it closer. The colors blend well with each other, no specific color nor flower looks out of place. "It's beautiful." She said, a bit breathless, as she traces the paper that's holding all the flowers in a bouquet before feeling one of the paper petals in her fingers.

A proud smile takes its place in your lips, silently watching her take in the flowers. You did a lot of them, not stopping until you're satisfied with the appearance of every single one. After all, she deserves only the best.

You snuck in a quick picture, your phone already in silent mode. This is a moment you'd like to immortalize, and you were glad of your quick thinking.

Larissa decided it's time for the next one, taking the flipbook out of the box. There in her lips, a soft smile appears as she mentally reads what's on the cover page.

"Your Darling Headmistress" she taps at the words while looking at you.

You hummed approvingly, the sound accompanied by your nodding. "That's right. My Darling Headmistress."

You were both blushing at that, but neither shied away and looked elsewhere, both of you maintaining the loving gaze. There's just something that drives you both mad when being each other's lover is vocalized, even after all these years.

"Let's see what's in store for her." Excited curiosity lights up her eyes while she says that. You gestured at the compiled voucher in her hand, prompting her to get on with it.

Upon opening it, she's undeniably in awe. The blush that settled on her face a while ago grew exponentially and coated her whole body in a warm blissful feeling. The first one was something simple. Five kisses on the lips. She stayed on that first one to appreciate the layout. The side of the paper that connects with the spine of the booklet has a dotted line that resembles the design of a voucher that would be torn off on that part, while the main part has a simple background, the text in different sizes and colors. Again, everything's balanced. Nothing seems like it doesn't belong there. On the small paper that would be left attached on the spine was '5 kisses' printed, while on the removable part of the voucher she sees a short description, when it could be use, and the expiry date.

Five kisses on the lips was the biggest phrase that was written. The description was a normal size: All throughout the day, you will be given a kiss until the designated amount is reached. It could be a quick peck or something a bit longer. Be ready ;)

Below it was when it could be used. A short, "Whenever the headmistress, aka my wife, wants it claimed" was typed out in the same size as the description. The expiry date is the smallest, with the next year of this very same day as the date. A year-long utilisation.

The wink on the description elicited a breathy laugh out of her, seeing as it's a not so subtle indication of something more. Larissa flipped through it, reading the different things she could cash in with you. Hugs. Kisses. Massage. Different kinds of dates like picnic, movie, dinner, walk, weathervane, lunch, stay-at-home, impromptu, and a lot more. Activities that could be explored in bed, noticing that most of it are things she has mentioned throughout the years that still wasn't given a try. Dealer's choice if she wished to be surprised. Silly things you'll do if she wants to. The last few coupons were blank with only a little note that she can write whatever it is she deemed she need, and you'll honor it entirely.

The whole thing gave her a whiplash, one moment she's touched, the next she's laughing, and then she's suddenly hot and bothered, and after that her mind is whirling from the possibilities of those blank vouchers.

Once she's got ahold of her rampant emotions though, she's able to think about some of the concerns she has.

With the flipbook held near her chest, she looks at you, ready to voice out her mind.

"You just gave me a lot of power over you."

You regard her with a bemused look, "You say that as if you haven't since the beginning."

She bowed her head down and smiled fondly as she felt her skin flushed when the memories of you willingly doing anything for her flashed in her mind. You have always been devoted to her.

"And I'll certainly have a lovely time with these newly-bestowed ones upon me." She says with an air of confidence and entitlement.

"Oh no, what have I done?" Your eyes went wide, faking a scared expression at her announcement.

She watched you in delight before moving forward. "Do I really need to tear the voucher off?" You nodded, and her delight was immediately replaced by disdain.

"Can't I just flip it to the one I'd like to claim? It's too gorgeous to rip apart." She reasons, attempting to find loopholes to maintain the perfect condition of the coupons.

"That would defeat the purpose and the design." You countered, maintaining your ground.

"But–"

"Besides, how will I remember if you've already used them?" you lightly teased, poking at her side.

The insinuation made her mouth open in disbelief, offended that you think she'll do such a thing. "I would never trick you"

You shrugged. "Still a no. Rip it off if you want me to do what it says." She's annoyed that you're so intent on this, but she has another thing to ask.

"Is the expiration date real?" Because she's not sure she can use it all within the timeframe, and she'd hate for it to go to waste.

You nod, which made her frown. "Keep the expired ones as a souvenir."

Larissa doesn't know what to feel with that suggestion. On one hand, she'll have some of the coupons intact, on the other, what if it's something she truly wanted from you but the expiry date has already passed?

You relent when her silence stretched on for a while, her eyebrows still furrowed in her forehead. You run your fingers outward to smooth out her eyebrows, which gets her attention. "Maybe I can be persuaded with something if it's already expired."

A surprised delight lit up her features, "Such as?" She asked, willing to consider what you have in mind if it all comes down to it.

"Surprise me." She nodded at that. She will. She'll make sure of it.

The blonde regarded it appreciatively one last time before putting it in the table, eyes locked in on the last object she hasn't yet to open.

The white engraving of her initials was the only thing on the cover, L.W. She didn't let herself guess what it could be, quickly opening it on the first page. For what felt like the umpteenth time she paused that evening, because there on the page was her, a picture of her on your very first official date. A picture she definitely didn't know existed.

A photo album. It's thick, the page only having one picture in it. She gape at it, reeling from the onslaught of yet another set of emotions. You made this. You made her a photo album. If the first one is any indication, she's bound to look at photos she hasn't seen before. Photos you took discreetly of her.

She looked at you, eyes shimmering with all the love she has for you. She wanted to hold you, to kiss you, to thank you, but nothing came. She simply looked at you, like you just gave her the world, because you did, time and time again. You gave her the world and more. She feels like she's on cloud nine, feet swayed off the ground by the extremely thoughtful gesture.

Your hand found hers, squeezing gently. She doesn't need to say or do anything. The look on her face says it all, and that was all you needed in return.

You motion for her to continue, to flip to the next one. Because there's still a surprise in store for her. The one you're the most nervous for.

So Larissa did. And before she can look at the second picture, something written on the back of the first one caught her eye.

August 18, 2000

The first time I had a date with my now wife! Can't believe you agreed to go on a date with me. I knew you are way out of my league, yet you gave me a chance. And I for sure did everything to live up to it.

Always so breathtaking, captivating me with your wits and beauty. Ever since then, I've always been yours.

Her eyes glisten with tears as she reads along, her lips now full on trembling. The album in itself was something she can't believe someone would do for her, now pair it with the letters written on the back, then it's entirely too much.

Your love for her has always been expressed throughout your relationship, but this was next level. You've carefully made this for her, because you wanted to. Because you're celebrating another milestone you've reached. Larissa feels dizzy, fuzzy with the amount of effort this must have taken. Her heart is beating out of her chest, clamouring to be in your loving touch.

She whipped her head to once again look at you. A soft, barely heard "Darling..." left her lips. This is too good, too much.

Her hands found their place on your skin, resting on the back of your neck. Her long, nimble fingers were caressing you, trying to show you her deep fondness.

"I can't... I can't believe you'd do something like this" she muttered, her voice shaky, eyes roaming around your face. The headmistress still seemingly can't grasp the fact that you did all of this for her. That you went through all of this for her.

"You deserve this and more, my love." You uttered with certainty, which sparked the tears to fall off her eyes, creating its own path to her cheeks down her chin. You quickly wipe it off, smiling softly at her.

"Thank you" she says, kissing you shortly.

"None of that. I'd gladly do anything to make you happy." You verbalized sincerely.

Larissa is more than happy though. She's euphoric, grateful, so deeply and thoroughly loved.

"I love you." She professed, placing another kiss on your lips, much longer this time.

"I love you to–"

"I love you so much." Her tone was heavy and sure, emphasizing her words. And then another kiss was placed upon your lips, the taste of hers lingering in yours.

You lick at your lips, ready to say it back again, but Larissa has other plans.

"I love you more than life itself." A passionate kiss with a length that takes all your breath away.

"I'm so lucky to have you." The kiss is then accompanied with her tongue, exploring the inside of your mouth, before pulling back.

"You're my wife." Then the kiss returned to a quick peck. "My darling." Another on your left cheek. "My honey." On the right. "My sweetheart." On your forehead. "My one and only." On your nose, which makes your nose scrunch. "My home." She declared last, lips going back to yours.

You were putty in her hands. The giddiness you feel shows itself on the way you're biting your lower lip after her display of affection, your cheeks warm after all the endearment.

She picked the album up to sit in front of you, her back touching your front. You snake your arms around her, hands locking in her midsection. She rest her head to your shoulder, and you leave a kiss to her temple before pressing your cheek to her head.

You two stayed like that while she browsed the album, asking you questions about the pictures after reading the letter attached to the previous photo.

Tonight is perfect to end the mark of your 10th year of being married, a happy anniversary, indeed.

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader

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writingintheshadowsforever · 5 months

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It Was Real For Me Too Monica Rambeau x Reader

Summary: Monica is convinced you hated every second being trapped in Wanda's hex with her. In reality she couldn't be more wrong if only she gave you the chance to explain.

Carol raised a single eyebrow walking into the storage room of her ship. Where she kept all her extra cargo and miscellaneous items to see Monica rummaging around. The sound of stuff falling from the shelves along with someone whispering curse words is what drew her there. She already knew the identity of the culprit considering they were only four people on her ship counting herself.

You were off playing twenty questions with Kamala, and she was sure the young girl was taking notes for her fanfiction. That only left one person, and she'd been scarce from the moment you arrived on the ship.

"Is there something I can help you find?" Carol asked smirking when Monica jumped a little bit.

She threw a quick glare at the superhero who was still more of a mother figure to her. Then went back to searching through various boxes on the floor without a word. Her relationship was already rocky since the two still haven't worked through the abandonment issue, but it only got worse. When Carol decided to call you in to assist on the mission without consulting her first.

"Mon come on you're not the one who has to reorganize all this later" Carol pleaded.

"Do you have any liquor or wine on this ship?"

"I do but you won't find it here."

Monica stood up and turned around with a frustrated huff. "Where will I find it then?"

"I'll tell you if you answer a few questions."

Monica shook her head in refusal. "You owe me Carol you don't get to holdout on me."

"I do if you want the only bottle of wine I have plus I need to know what's going with you with what's at stake with this mission. Why does y/n being here bother you so much?"

"Its that obvious huh."

Carol nodded.

Monica let out a groan taking a seat on large container. She tried really hard to keep her cool once she realized you were on the ship. But then the two of you locked eyes, and it was her first time seeing you in almost a year. Her heart skipped a few beats as her legs turned into jelly when you hit her with that dazzling smile. The term absence makes the heart grow fonder couldn't be more true in this situation. She'd hope the time spent apart from you would've done the opposite, and erase her feelings for you. They just got stronger.

"I really don't want to talk about it Carol" Monica tried.

"Too bad y/n won't give me anything out of respect for you, and like I said I need to know what I'm dealing with here." Carol persisted not sounding apologetic at all. She was probably enjoying it in some weird way, because now Monica didn't have a choice but to confide in her a little bit.

Monica took a deep breath trying to figure out a way to explain her situation-ship with you without giving away too much. "You know I got trapped in a witch's hex right?"

"Yeah the one that gave you your powers right" Carol said following along.

"Well I kinda left out the part where y/n got trapped in it with me, and we were basically a couple doing couple things. Until I triggered Wanda's memory and she sent me packing." Monica explained hoping she didn't have to elaborate beyond that.

Carol frowned for a second before her eyes widened in shock only for a look of amusement to take over in the end. "Seriously aren't the two of you like best friends?"

"Yeah."

"Okay I get how it that could be weird at first, but it’s been a year. How haven't you two worked this out by now?"

Monica gave no reply and suddenly the container she was sitting on became ten times more interesting.

"Unless there's something else going on you haven't told me" The blonde woman added. A teasing tone in her voice to match the playful smirk on her face.

"Nope there is nothing else to tell" Monica lied. "You know what forget about the wine. Let's just go back to the mission."

She tried to scurry past Carol but a hand reached out catching her by the arm. Her grip strong and while she may have powers none of them let her match Captain Marvel's strength.

"Carol please just drop it."

"Let's go get the wine you're going to need it."

A Few Hours Later

Carol allowed Monica to drink enough to relax her a little bit before cutting her off. She probably would've finished off the bottle if she wasn't stopped. Carol had an idea or two of what was really going on, but decided it was just better until they got the coordinates from Kamala's mind to the next destination. Before trying to get the two of you to work through the issue. She could tell right away you weren't going to the problem in the matter.

You lit up with joy when she walked into the main hub of the ship with Monica in tow. "About time I thought you two were trying to sneak off without us or something."

Carol walked over to retrieve four head-gear contraptions that looked like a head-massager helmet. She gave one out to each of you explaining the process. "This will let us access Kamala's memories and see what she saw on the ship. No need to fear or worry I use it all the time trying to recover the memories. The Kree took me."

Monica shot her a look of sympathy. "Still."

Carol nodded sliding the head piece on.

"Wait will be able too see each other's memories as well?" You asked twisting it around in your hands.

"Yeah but as long as you don't focus on a particular memory too much. We'll be fine and won't be pulled into something else" Carol instructed.

For the first time both you and Monica squirmed a little bit glancing at each other nervously. You put the head piece on after along with Kamala, while your best friend still hesitated.

"Mon come on you got this" You encouraged her softly.

She took a deep breath letting your words wash over her and take effect. All of her worries seemed to disappear just like old times whenever you were by her side. You always looked after her if she fell you'd catch her. She put the head piece on.

Carol took the spacious couch with Kamala by her side. You laid down beside Monica for moral support. It was the first time the woman allowed you to be this close to her since you arrived on the ship. All four of you closed your eyes at the same time letting your minds link to each other. Kamala went back to the first fight with Dar-Benn. You were absent for the showdown, so you took in every single detail not just the coordinates. Carol told you that her powers were linked to Monica's and Kamala's.

You didn't know what she meant until now watching the fight play out. The three of them switching places whenever the other used their light-based powers. Carol brought you in because of your past with Kree she figured you could offer her an inside look on whar Dar-Benn's plan might be. The memory-sharing moved along smoothly as all three of you got a glimpse at the map.

Kamala played the memory back in slow-motion so you three could memorize it. Carol's mind went haywire letting her memories bleed into Kamala's throwing the three of you back into the past. The days of the Blip Carol and and Maria sitting on the front porch of Monica's childhood home talking about Monica, and other things.

Of course Monica freaked out trying to pull out, but not being able too. "Carol stop I don't want to remember this."

"I'm sorry I'm not doing this on purpose." Carol attempted to rein the memories again, but the door was open letting every moment flood out. Including the one where she promised a eleven-year old Monica she'd see her soon. All of you knew how that promise ended.

"Carol that's enough." Monica was begging now her voice cracking as the memory switched to her mother on her deathbed. Without thinking about you took her hand in yours squeezing it.

"Breathe Mon it's okay."

Carol's memories were pushed aside as a new wave took over overpowering her. They belonged to Monica and all of them were with you. The first day you and her met when Nick Fury called you in to help Monica deal with the aftermath of being blipped. Her breaking down in your arms after finding out about Maria's death. All the nights you spent holding her to chase the nightmares away, because your presence was the only thing that could soothe her. The memories were nothing new to you, and innocence. Monica panicked as she felt her control slip though, and memories you might've not been aware of appeared. "How do I stop this."

Now all four of you were back in Westview and while you were aware of what Wanda 's actions. This memory was new to you Monica in her S.W.O.R.D. uniform racing through the neighborhood. She ran right past the home she shared with you in the hex in a rush to get to Wanda. But you were still under mind control walking out the house dressed in high-waist jeans, and a long-sleeved blue shirt.

"Monica honey where did you go?" You called out to her.

She paused upon hearing your voice, and her heart swelled from the adoring look in your eyes. You were so in love for her, but none of it was real. She wished it was.

"You've been gone for a few days. you missed the fall festival did I do something wrong?" You blinked away a few tears as your smile wavered. You were hurt and confused by her disappearance.

Monica told herself back then what she was about to do was completely necessary. There was no harm in keeping the charade going as she wasn't sure of what would happened. If you came to your senses right now. You needed reassurance so that's what she gave you.

"Oh sweetheart you did nothing wrong you could never." Monica said turning back around to close the distance, and take your face in her hands. "You're perfect y/n God you're so freaking perfect I don't deserve you." Her words became more and more sincere as she went on her voice dripping with love.

"Monica-"

She cut off your words with her heartfelt kiss an arm gripping your waist as you melted. Her lips melded perfectly against yours just like all the other times. She pulled away slowly panting with her emotions running high. "I love you. I'll always love you y/n never doubt that okay."

You nodded touching your forehead too hers.

The memory came to an end only for another wave of them to hit. Your grip on her hand was so tight now her hand had gone numb. The two of you dancing in the house. Monica twirling you around by the hand with a happy smile. You climbing into bed with her snuggling up to her until her arms opened. A few more slipped through as Carol and Kamala stayed silent through it all.

"Enough of this." Monica cried tearing her hand free from yours to rip the head piece off bringing the session to an end.

You followed suit eyes flying open to find the spot beside you vacant. Monica was already headed to the the back of the ship.

"Um I'm just going to go stare into space." Kamala said not meeting your eyes. The young girl went over to the pilot seat.

"Don't touch anything Kamala I'll be over in a second" Carol yelled.

"Okay Captain" she replied.

Carol figured she'd start with you first blocking your path to the ship's hangar. "You need to go talk to her."

"She ran away before I could or did you not see that. She's been running from me for nearly a year now Carol" You argued.

"Well maybe it's time you start chasing her y/n." Carol shot back not backing down.

You threw your hands in the air with a humorless chucke. "As if it would make a difference Monica has been avoiding this conversation since Wanda's hex. There is no point even if I corner her she's not going to tell me the truth. I've tried, and all she does is dance around the topic. Until I drop it, you think I enjoy living like this. It sucks not having her around anymore. I went from seeing every single day to once every blue moon." You slammed your hand down on her work table, making it tremble. "Why don't you go try?"

Carol didn't stop you from walking past her this time, noting the watery eyes. She made her way over to Monica, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. Out of view from the rest of you. She sensed Carol's presence the second the blonde woman walked into the space, and let out a sigh of exasperation.

Carol held up a hand to stop her protesting before she could a word out. "Don't tell me you're fine and nothing is wrong. That's a lie and both us of know it."

"Fine how about I don't want to talk about it" Monica grumbled.

"That's not a luxury you have at this point whatever is going is clouding your judgement right now. A teenage girl has been entrusted into our care, and we made a promise to get her back home in one piece. Which means next time we go into field you and y/n's heads need to be on straight." Carol gave her no other choice sliding down against the wall into a sitting position right next too her. Monica scooted over with a huff.

"Why don't you start from the beginning this time" Carol suggested.

"I was a complete wreck when I came back from being blipped. Just thrown back into the world so different than when I left. My mother was dead, and I never got the chance to say goodbye. On top of that I lost five years of my life, and then I have to hear how Captain Marvel swooped down from space to save the day in the fight with Thanos. I waited for you Carol." Monica paused lifting her head to look Carol in the eyes letting her see the tears gathered in hers.

She realized this wasn't just about dealing with her emotions for you, but was the much needed therapy session about Carol abandoning her for all those years. "I returned to mom's old home in Louisiana hoping you'd show up at some point. I told myself you were going to come back and apologize. Help me get through what happened, but you never did."

"Monica" Carol whispered her name with guilt laced in her voice. "I was bus-."

"Don't you dare" Monica cried the tears not falling from her eyes. "Don't you dare use the same old excuse I was too busy saving the universe. If we're going to have this conservation I want the truth. You want me to be honest about y/n then you're gonna have to be honest with me. Why didn't you ever come back before Thanos?" She fell silent with hardened eyes determined to get an answer.

How did the topic switch from you to her? Monica was like a daughter too her, and she knew she owed the younger woman answers for her absence all those years. But honestly Carol was hoping she'd be able to avoid the conservation a little longer. She wished they could just skip it, and an apology would suffice. But it was obvious Monica wasn't going to let that happen. She wanted an explanation.

"Okay fine you deserve the truth so I'll give it too you" Carol agreed. Letting a few minutes past by before continuing she needed to find the right words.

"Carol come on."

"I did a lot of bad things okay" Carol blurted out.

Monica furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What."

The blonde woman looked away not wanting to her surrogate daughter’s eyes anymore as she went on. "I know people think heroes can do know wrong, and even when we do. It was necessary or just a mistake, but that's not always true. I acted recklessly trying to fix a problem and only made things worst. The Kree call me the Annihilator and I hate that name with a passion because I deserve it Monica. I destroyed their home, their way of life, and then spent years punishing them for my mistake. I felt guilty and ashamed that's why I stayed away for so long. You looked up to me more than anything. Maria told me that no matter how many heroes there were I'd always be your favorite. I couldn't face you knowing I didn't deserve your admiration anymore."

A single tear escaped sliding down her face Carol acted fast too wipe it away. An arm wrapped around her shoulder, and Monica pulled her in coaxing Carol into dropping her head on her shoulder. She rested her own head on top of her childhood hero's. "Don't be ridiculous Carol you had no way of knowing that your actions would lead to all this. You were just trying to help which is all we can ever do. Sometimes we get it right and other times we get it wrong. No one is perfect." Her words brought peace to Captain Marvel's heart as the weight of her mistakes finally vanished. She couldn't stop the rest of the tears if she wanted to, so Carol just left them fall. The two of them stayed like that a little longer basking in their reconciliation.

"Y/N was the one who got me through it all" Monica finally whispered. Her arm tightening around Carol's shoulder. "She was like this bright star shining my dark and starless world. A beacon of hope bringing me back to life giving me reassurance every step of the way. That somehow I'd be okay again. I'd smile and it would be real one day. It was impossible for me not to fall for her you know."

"So what happened that led to this? Did it start in the hex?" Carol questioned.

"No it was before the hex originally they sent me out on the mission alone, but then Fury asked y/n too tag alone. He was still worried about me. I didn't know what we were walking into, but I had this weird feeling. After everything I lost I wasn't going to risk walking into danger without her knowing the truth. So I kissed her before we left for the mission." Monica took a deep breath pulling her arm away to bury her face into her hands.

Carol rubbed her back trying to give her some comfort. "And" she prompted not wanting to lose her now.

"She pushed me away" Monica whispered. "I knew right then she didn't feel the same. So I ran not wanting to give her the chance to formally reject me. I wouldn't have been able to handle it, and I still don't know if I can Carol."

"Moni-"

"No I don't think you get it every moment between us in that hex felt real, and it felt right to me. Sometimes I wonder if I could've broken free earlier than I what I did, but deep down I knew being with her in that capacity was the closest I'd ever get to being with her. So I let myself stay under mind's control on purpose. And for y/n when she came out she probably felt so violated. That moment when I went back into the hex I never thought she would find out about it. I confessed my love to her because I knew it'd stay between me and Wanda."

Thanks to the memory-sharing device you saw it, and knew the truth. How was she supposed to face now? The idea of discussing the events of the hex terrified her before. Now it seemed like an impossible feat.

"You run from her because you're afraid your truth is too much for her." Carol started pausing for a deep breath, and to lift Monica's head by the chin to catch her eyes. "But the more you run from her, the more you hurt her, and that I do understand."

Monica sighed as a whole conservation passed between her, and her surrogate aunt just by eyesight.

"I'm not going to force you to talk to her now, but please don't make her wait too much longer." Carol let Monica get settled against her again. The two of them staying there for just a little longer.

A Few Hours Later

The ship finally touched down at the landing port in Aladna, and despite Carol's weird behavior about the unfamiliar planet. Monica couldn't get off fast enough eager to escape being within close quarters with you. She promised Carol that after the four of you succeeded with stopping Dar-Benn and retrieving the second bangle. She'd sit down and have a much-needed conservation with you even if heartbreak was the end result.

That was her plan. Too bad you were done waiting around.

Carol walked the ramp with explaining to Kamala how things worked on Aladna. Monica hung back searching for you, and just when she thought maybe you had already exited the ship. You materialized out of thin air leaning up against the wall by the ramp. Arms crossed over your chest with a deadpan expression.

Monica jumped a bit cursing herself for forgetting invisibility was one of your powers. She frowned wondering why you weren't following Carol and Kamala. She got her answer when she took a few more steps forward, and you threw out an arm blocking her path.

"Carol you two go ahead. We'll go catch up" You said catching Monica by the waist as she attempted to go around you. She went still in your hold.

"Sure thing y/n don't take too long." Carol replied ignoring Monica's desperate plea for help. She walked out of sight with a giddy Kamala.

"That's up to you" You told Monica pulling your arm back.

"Y/N we really don't have time for this" she insisted. "We can do this later-"

You cut her off with a scoff. "You say that now but the second this mission is over, and we're back on Earth. You're going to runaway again putting as much distance between the two of us as possible. No more running Mon."

"Okay fine let's get this over" Monica exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. She turned around walking back into the center of the ship. "Go ahead and tell me how much you don't want to be with me, since you're so ready to reject me." She was yelling now with tears falling down her face.

You regarded her with sympathy as your face softened. "Oh Monica" you whispered right behind her. Her back was still you as she refused to turn around. "Monica look at me please" You tried again.

"No" she murmured.

You ran a hand through your hair with a sigh of exasperation. "There you go again assuming things. That's what got us here in the first place you know. You assumed I was going to reject you after that first kiss."

Monica glanced over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow. "You eavesdropped" she accused offended.

"Not me" You said. "More like a bored sixteen-year old teenager who was left to entertain herself alone far too long."

Kamala came bounding over to the work table you were sitting at tinkering with some machine-part. Rambling how she didn't mean to listen in on Carol and Monica's private conservation, but she was searching for the bathroom. The young girl just happened to walk past the two of them talking and like any other teenager couldn't resist juicy gossip. She continued on saying it wasn't right for her to repeat anything she heard back to you, but then again it'd be a crime for her not to. Because Kamala was sure you and Monica were meant to be, so she was just doing her duty making sure you had all the necessary information. Then she finally told you what she heard before you could stop her. You didn't get a single word in during the entire encounter.

"I'm going to kill her" Monica muttered.

"Her parents won't like that, and her mom kind of scares me so you're on your own if you do." Neither of you could resist the urge to chuckle.

"What did you mean? You're telling me I'm supposed to believe there was going to be a different outcome. After you pushed me away when I kissed you."

Your smile faltered with Monica getting the conservation back on track. "Monica I wasn't rejecting you which you would've known if you gave me time to explain."

"Then what was it?"

"I pushed you away because the timing didn't feel right to me. I mean of course I had feelings for you. Still do in fact" You were quick to correct yourself. "I just wanted to be sure you felt the same for me, and wasn't trying to use me as a distraction."

Monica went through a plethora of emotions through your confession. Hurt when referred to your feelings in the past tense. Relief when you made it clear those feelings were still present. Last confusion when you dared to say she would do something so sick in her eyes. After everything she'd been through in her life the idea of hurting you in such a way made her sick to her stomach. "Why would you think that?"

"Monica" You spoke her name softly moving so you were standing in front of her now. Bringing a hand to rest upon her cheek smiling when she didn't pull away. "You were battling so many emotions back then between the grief of your mother's death, and the resentment from Carol's abandoning you. I didn't know if there was enough room for you to love me, or if you were just looking for an escape from the crushing burdens. If you had given me the chance I would've told you to give it time. After the mission was over we could take sometime to ourselves, and figure things out."

You stepped back with a light shrug. "But you never gave me a chance, and I thought the hex might've made things easier considering what we went through in there. It just made the situation worse."

Monica stood in the exact same spot as you leaned back into the table behind you awaiting her response. She was stuck in a daze trying to process your words, what they meant, and what was going to happen now.

"So the hex...." Her voice trailed off as she hoped you caught on to what she was asking.

"It was real for me too Mon, and not in a bad way. I just really wished you had waited until I was out before confessing your love for me. I would've said it back."

"Can you say it back now?" Monica said pleading to hear those three words come out of your mouth. God knows she's been dreaming about this day for far too long.

"I love you Monica Rambeau, and I want to be with you more than anything in this world. I know you've been through so much, and hurt one too many times. And while I can't promise anything I do promise to do everything in my power to make sure. I'm never the reason for your pain if you're willing to take the risk." You said with your eyes locked onto hers with so much love in them.

You got your answer when Monica surged forward taking your face in her hands, pressing her lips to yours. In what became a desperate and breath-taking kiss as you matched her urgency wrapping both arms around her waist. Pulling her body to yours till there was no space left between the two of you. Her lips were soft but rough as they moved against yours. You moaned into her mouth letting her tongue slip inside, and it was never a battle as she seemed to let you win. For once in her life Monica was finally given the chance to just step back, and let someone else take control. And who better than the person who put her back together when she fell apart. The person who had been the missing puzzle piece in her life for the past couple of months.

Monica pulled away for a brief second panting pressing her forehead to yours. "I love you too" she breathed pressing another kiss to your swollen lips.

You nodded leaning in to capture them again as she ended it all too soon for your liking. Tightening your hold on her waist you kissed her a bit harder this time.

"Okay wow I really didn't need to see that" Carol's voice came from behind the two of you ruining the moment.

You pulled away too see Carol standing there holding the oversize hat with streamers attached to it in one hand. The other was covering Kamala's eyes. The young girl let out a squeal of excitement.

"Yes this is so going in my fanfiction" she commented.

"Uh no its not" Monica said ripping her lips away from yours, and whipping her head around.

"Please this would make such a good story I'm already thinking of a plot" Kamala pleaded. "I'll change your names."

"No-"

"Sure have at it kid." You gave her your blessing cutting off anymore of Monica's protests with one last parting kiss. She sighed into it with slight irritation.

I guess I owe you a few dates after this huh" Monica stated.

"You owe me more than a few but I'm a forgiving girl under the right circumstances."

Carol let out a low whistle gaining everyone’s attention. "Alright I'm thrilled the two of you were able to figure out your feelings for each other. In the midst of this chaos but we still have a villain to stop, and a planet to save."

"Okay, okay" Monica conceded stepping out of your arms. You followed suit standing up straight again. "Lead the way Captain Marvel."

"Oh and y/n don't think you're getting out of a threatening speech from me about what I'll do. If you hurt her" Carol reminded you pointing a stern finger at you.

You held up your hands in surrender as Monica stood in front of you shaking her head. Her and Carol went into a playful argument walking forward to the ramp. You followed with Kamala by your side holding out her fist for you to bump.

#mcu imagine #marvel imagine #monica rambeau x reader #monica rambeau imagine #monica rambeau #kamala khan #carol danvers #the marvels imagine

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creativemessbyvd · 2 months

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FIC IDEA VAULT #17 - RadioApple Hercules AU

@fanby-fckry is an enabler XD Their post about their idea for a Little Mermaid AU forced my hand to actually write down this idea! Originally I had the inspiration from this Tiktok!

So, this is an inspired by Disney's Hercules AU, we will follow cannon for season 1 loosely and then we take off from there, and yes, the tiktok scene will be there! I have lots of ideas already down, including a general idea of how each chapter will go. So far, aiming for 8 (?) chapters, which will have not only Alastor's POV but also Lucifer's and others as they become relevant. I want to incorporate the ideas I already have for my own Hellaverse (which I will also use for my Alastor centric fic) which include the Sins being ride or dies for Lucifer, Roo as the main villain, lots of bonding amongst the cast and some cameos by the Helluva Boss crew! I don't plan to make this be straight romance, I want them to be friends first before Alastor starts caring more for Luci, and I'm also trying to keep him as faithful as I can be to his Ace Identity (which is a spectrum! Please, no harrasment over this, but if anyone would like to help me out to make sure I don't screw Al or offend anyone, please let me know! I would really appreciate the help!)

I am swarmed by work, and this has been the worst week for me in a while, I can feel the depressing thoughts around, but talking about my aus, or any of my fandoms always helps! I hope to work on this and publish soon, but I do want to have some chapter written before posting to Ao3. So, without further ado, I leave you with the main summary and two snippets from chapter one! I'm sorry for the errors, I will fix them up for publishin the full story on Ao3! Enjoy!

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love (Hercules Radioapple AU) by Vesta Dragon

Tasked with getting closer to the King of Hell after the last extermination, Alastor the Radio Demon tries his best to show the king the attention which is plain to see the fallen angel craves. But as they spend time getting to know each other in the most antagonistic and less romantic way possible for Alastor's peace of mind, he finds his mission shifting when shown what a capable ruler Lucifer can be, alongside his softer side that still shows the angel he never stopped being. Lucifer knows that getting along with Alastor will keep Charlie happy, and keep one less headache away from him as he takes the reigns of his kingdom back with the help of his closest friend, Satan, who is now on a mission to make sure both him and Charlie are in top shape for any upcoming battle Heaven will surely start. His heart will be his doom, as he feels himself growing closer to Alastor, but will their love be enough to stop the threat lurking far below Hell? Or will her millennia-old plans finally come to fruition, so the Root of All Evil can finally rule it all as the planets align?

Chapter One Teaser under the cut!

God was created to bring balance to the Universe, and he in turn created Angels, his first and most beloved was Lucifer Morningstar… The story of the Garden of Eden is one I'm sure you are all familiar with, but what you probably didn't know was that it skipped over a lot of details. Lucifer always thought that keeping Humans always happy and in the dark, meant they would never get to their full potential. He befriended Lilith, the first Woman, and they fell into a quick and deep love.

Charlie Morningstar was interrrupted by the loud entrance of Angel Dust, the spider demon carrying around a cooler from which he passed around beverages to the visitors sitting in front of the princess in the Hotel's second entertainment room.

"Boooooriiiiing! Charlie, I swear if you tell us the detailed history of all of creation, I'm taking everyone on a tour of my favorite clubs!"

Finished with his task, he took the main couch, sitting for once, not splayed out but definitely confidently enough that it drew some curious eyes, though they quickly turned away as he swept his gaze around. He took from the cooler two extra waters and passed one to Charlie, who accepted despite looking scandalized at his suggestion.

"Angel, you wouldn't dare!" "Oh, but I would! Who wants to go dancing?" At the raised (albeit nervous) hands that went up, he smirked at the princess who huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, what's wrong with giving them all the details?" Charlie shuddered to think were her charges would end up, so she admited that maybe her story would need to be told differently than to how she prefered to remember it. "For one, it would take us way too fucking long to go over everything. Let's go for the more fun version! You gotta know when to give the right details." He made sure to wink at a couple of people, the majority laughing as he riled the princess up.

"We are not sharing anything explicit!" That would be worse than the clubs, as she was about to continue her point, she was interrupted again.

"Is Charlie going to tell the Story? I wanna help!" Nifty had jumped from behind the couch Angel sat at, no one having heard her skittering around until she had made herself known. She proceeded to jump over the couch, landing on Angel and kicking him slightly before settling in beside him.

"Ouch, Nifty! Careful with my arms!"

"Hehe, sorry Angel!"

"Oh, this will be fun." Vaggie had come due to all the shouting, wanting to make sure everyone was being civil. She had known Charlie had plans to share the story, and she was glad she wasn't the only one who knew the princess had to be watched so avoid her rambling to their guests for 5 hours. She loved her, but she knew Charlie tended to go overboard, especially with this.

"Hi sweetie! Come sit here with me, we can share the loveseat." Charlie relaxed upon seeing Vaggie, and made sure to give her a kiss as soon as the fallen angel sat down beside her.

"Can you two stop with the lovey-dovey public displays, let me get my coffee in first." Yet another interrupting, this time from the resident bartender, who was carrying two takeout cups of coffee, one of which he gave to Angel, despite Nifty's attempts to snag it.

"Husk, I'm surprised that you aren't drinking a beer." Vaggie smirked, knowing that usually, the stoic bartender tended to leave the tours to the others and kept to the quiet of the bar. But it was obvious why he had come, as Angel patted his legs.

"Oooh Husky, my lap is open if you want a seat."

"I'll take the floor, otherwise we won't get to the end of the story."

"C'mon you two! Seriously?!" Vaggie was infurated now, she had hoped they had at least some decurum to save it for after the tour was done.

"I meant he would loose circulation on his legs, I ain't as light as Nifty over there." Husk laughed softly, winking at Angel as he took a seat between his legs on the floor.

"Can I sit on your lap, Angel?"

"Sure, Nift."

"Oooooookaaaay, is everyone settled? Can I continue?" Charlie was more aware now of the time constraints, but she was glad to have the company. It was always more enjoyable to have the story be told with input from everyone.

"Yes, but keep it light on the start, we want to get to the good part this century!"

After their fall from Heaven and Earth, Lilith and Lucifer began working on making their prison more comfortable. As others, like the Sins and the Ars Goetia, slowly filled Hell, as they newly appointed King and Queen, they held a party. And someone new arrived to them. She was lovely, yet she was no former angel. Her power left everyone speechless. Her name was Roo. She welcomed everyone, but especially the new King. She had seen it all, and she had to thank him for letting her be born. She was evil personified and she had a proposition. She could help them get revenge upon eveyone who had forsaken them. And while some saw this as a great opportunity, Lucifer refused.

"Fighting Heaven will bring us nothing! I prefer to make the best of this here, were I have my freedom, despite being in my own prison. Let them deal with it all, I thank you for the consideration, but it would be foolish for us to go to war when we know we will lose." Roo smiled, she tried again to entice him, but he wouldn't move. His powers, which he knew she craved, he would not give her. Roo bid them farewell, making sure they knew she could be found at the deepest part, where the river of souls ran, if they ever changed their minds.

She returned to her domain, deep into Hell, to the parts that no one had ever ventured to. She stood now in her home, a castle of darkness that towered over everything. She climbed until she came to her work room, on its center a stone basin filled with a clear swirling liquid. From it she could see the present, past and future. She had used this to her advantage to make sure her influence had sparked the first sin of man. The free will of the humans meant that she now was present up on Earth, but it also crippled her once vast power. Her future vision would never be as it once was, nor could she force the fallen who now ruled Hell to make her biding. She needed more if she was to wreck havoc as she was promised, gazing into the hazy future in which she ruled it all. She could be patient, someday she would have her revenge.

| Line break |

Alastor the Radio Demon could tell that he was utterly fucked, and he could count on one hand his whole life's (and afterlife's) regrets. Babysitting an overexcited and touchy princess and her entourage was something he deeply regretted, as he watched Vaggie run around trying to film the Hotel an annoying television commercial. He honestly thought his own was pretty favorable, but the Princess thought otherwise. As she went to her meeting, her girlfriend now scrambled to put something together with no experience. He could let her keep on trying, ultimately failing but he needed to keep the Princess as happy as possible, and this was something he would have to endure.

After all of that work only for the commercial to be cut off to the news that Heaven was going to come back earlier? He knew his boss was laughing at him. The next few months brought little change. After this, he saw Charlie welcome in another patron, Sir Pentious had tried to be a thorn at Alastor's side, but like the television demon he took orders from, neither could actually cause any harm; like a toy knife, both were only mildly threatening in appearance. His meeting with the Overlords helped him be closer to his end goal. The months flew by, and still, nothing was going the Princess' way, and she was forced to call her father.

And Lucifer Morningstar ended up coming. To HIS HOTEL. The former Angel went so far as to compare him to a bellhop and Alastor was so close to unleashing everything on the pompous asshole. Thankfully, he managed to take his anger out on the loan sharks Mimzy brought, but he still had to dismiss her, more forcefully than he would have if he hadn't already been so on edge. He was fuming by the end of the day, not only had he been humiliated by Lucifer, Husk knew of him being on a leash, and Heaven would soon come. He unleashed his anger once in his room, thankful for the small mercy that his room opened into his own private bayou and no one would be aware of his (frankly childish) tantrum, and suddenly he felt it in the sudden stillness of the air, and deep among the trees, the one who owned his sould appeared.

Roo was not that taller than Charlie, yet the front was just to spite him. he knew, seeing he still towered over her but she held all the power to bring him to his knees, like she did now.

"Alastor, sweetheart! Interesting day?" She sat on a tree stump that formed into a throne. Alastor hated every minute of it but he obediently knelt by her feet, levelling her with his worst glare.

"Roo, you said he wouldn't leave his isolated hole." She laughed and smiled almost as wide as him.

"I said he wouldn't come out without proper reason, Charlotte finally reaching out to him I guess gave him the strength to try for the first time in years." She was looking at her nails, utterly unbothered by this. Her ability to see aspects of the future irked him when she kept information like this from him.

"The fucking Devil will unravel everything I have worked for here." He seethed but Roo just laughed, a shrill sound that hurt his sensitive ears.

"Oh, Al, don't be so pessimistic, darling. I need you to trust me." She reached out to take his face in her hand, squishing as he growled, static becoming more prominent around him. "This is needed, taking out that pompous asshole up in Heaven will leave my darling Lilith in the perfect spot to worm her way in, you have to trust me."

"Charlie will draw a target on her back if she goes to Heaven, and it will lead the Hotel to be in danger." All his hard work, gone if Adam himself lead the charge to the Hotel.

"Well, that's why you are here, correct? Al, trust me, everything is going according to plan. Make sure to use our little golden ticket to make a deal with the Princess, I will need her to complete my plan." He avoided yelping in pain as she dug her fingers into his face, her other hand making sure to spread his smile wider, to the point it hurt more than usual. Her tone grew dark, and suddenly Alastor could feel the chain around his neck tighten as her voice echoed everywhere in the bayou. "And don't lose your temper with Lucifer again, I don't have the time to get another puppet if he decides to smite you."

With that, she threw him to the floor and as soon as his head had stopped spinning, he looked up to find her gone.

#my writing #fic idea vault #vd's fics #fic idea vault 17 #Hercules AU #hazbin hotel #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #alastor the radio demon #charlie morningstar #angel dust #vaggie #hazbin husk #hazbin nifty

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