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warmau · 2 months

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☆ commission: lovestruck!au jaemin note: i do not know how to crochet so please bare with me

there are three people in the crocheting club

two are quiet, hermit type classmates that you have never heard make much more then a small noise or string together the syllables of their name in class

and renjun - who looks you up and down when you come through the door with nothing but the pair of old crocheting needles you got from your grandmother and a ball of yarn that is....in his opinion...the ugliest shade of yellow to exist

but then you sit down after a small introduction and get lost in your project, clumsily making it through your knots, and renjun softens to that

the whole point of this club is to be alone, together

you understand that without having to be told - meaning, you fit right in

after a hectic day of trying to survive classes, the annoying and loud nature of the hallways, and of course all the other woes of youth - this place is a safe haven

and then of course, na jaemin appears on a tuesday at exactly three fifteen sharp

the way he opens the door is sudden and the energy he gusts in with him like a wind draws shudders from the two wallflower classmates, a look of disgust from renjun, and confusion from you

"jaemin, this is the crocheting club are you looking for-"

he flashes a big and white grin at you

"then i'm in the right place!

✧

jaemin is not good at crocheting

to be honest, he can't even sew

he brings the wrong kind of needles with him and doesn't have the slightest idea of what a pattern he's interested in starting

he just makes an offhanded comment about how he likes cats, the big and fluffy ones

renjun's voice waivers with nuisance as he tries to get jaemin on a more concrete path

"well are you going to make a blanket with a cat, a hat with a cat, a pair of mit-"

"whatever you think i should do!" jaemin grins and looks over his shoulder at you "woah, you're in the club too?"

the way he asks makes you think he already knew the answer before stepping through the door

which is weird because..........jaemin isn't your friend

you guys are more like acquaintances by force

he was your lab partner last year when he transferred from organic chemistry to biology 2 which he claimed was because the professor just didn't understand him

but you had heard from rumors floating around that the real reason he'd been switched was due to an secret experiment gone wrong that jaemin had been caught red-handed for

you had debated asking him about it when you two were working together in class, but decided against it

plus - jaemin was good at biology - like ... really good ... so far so that maybe his claim about just being disliked had merit

because someone so talented and excited about science, couldn't have failed and almost blown up a classroom like the rumor whispered about

so keeping your curiosity to yourself, your just tried to keep up with jaemin

who would get to the conclusion before you could even get past the hypothesis

other than that, the most you'd ever really talked to each other was one time outside of the library

you were waiting for a friend and jaemin had come down the hall, flanked by a group of rowdy friends of his, jaemin the center of all their attention

when he'd spotted you he had smoothly pushed himself out of that frenzy and into your quiet, awkward personal space

"you accidentally left this behind last period." he'd fished your half done lab report out of his backpack "i kept it between two textbooks so it wouldn't get crumpled."

as he handed it back to you, you immediately saw that beside your own work were scribbled notes in pencil

"did you-"

before you could ask your question, a hand had appeared on jaemin's shoulder and pulled him back into the body of people taking up the entire hallway

jaemin didn't get a chance to look back at you, but you had watched him and everyone else disappear around the corner

you remembered distinctly that one person, a girl with bright eyeshadow and a collection of keychains hanging from her bag had turned around to shoot one glare at you, and then jaemin and the rest of them were gone

you had looked at the report, noticing that the comments in pencil were corrections to your work - but after each sentence there were a variety of tiny little scribbles

some were smiley faces and others looked like attempts to draw some kind of cartoon characters

even though the corrections were bluntly explaining how your line of thinking was wrong - the drawings had made jaemin's sincerity obvious on the page

he's trying to help me, and still be silly about it

you had remembered thinking: "that's very.....jaemin of him."

✧

despite this one interaction and the scattered lab periods you'd shared, you didn't have a moment where you felt as if you and jaemin had gotten anywhere near close

not as friends, and not as anything more

but yet - as the first session of crochet club that jaemin attends came to a close - he's the one to corner you at the door and ask, with that smile never really leaving his face

"can i walk you to the station?"

"sorry - how did you know i take the train?"

jaemin doesn't look flustered, he just blinks at you as if it's obvious that he should know this

"i ride my bike to school, and you're never at the bike rack. my path goes by the bus and you're never at the bust stop - so, logically speaking, the train is it."

you have the tickling urge in your stomach to one up him

"what if i walked to school?"

he points to the pass case hanging off your bag that clearly displays the ticket you need every day to get on the train

"then why would you always have that?"

you open your mouth to think of some retort, but you really don't have any, so you just look back at him

"is there a reason you want to walk with me - is there something we need to talk about?"

jaemin puts his hands hands in his pockets and shakes his head

"nope. but you can also say no if you don't want me to walk with you."

has anyone ever said no to him?

you think, taking a pause to focus on his face

when you look like that, with the added bonus of his height and the fact that being smart just comes naturally i would assume rejection isn't even a possibility in his mind

"no - i mean yes you can walk with me."

and look at me, falling right into the trap like everyone does

jaemin gives you a thumbs up and turns his body to let you through the door

the first couple of minutes it's silent and you catch some double takes from other students

renjun is at the front of the school when you pass and he raises an eyebrow as you kind of mouth a "i don't know either?"

then, when you're out of the vicinity of the school, jaemin straightens up and stretches his arms over his head

his shirt rides up and reveals the lean skin of his stomach and you involuntarily look up to pretend you didn't see it

"so - why do you like crocheting?" the question catches you off guard "from what i could tell today, it's pretty boring."

"it's not boring!"

you argue, "it's fulfilling, and good for your concentration. plus at the end you make something that you can use and that's the most rewarding part."

"but you can buy a hat or a blanket anywhere. there are machines that make them one hundred times faster, and they're cheaper to buy then spending money on the equipment and the yarn and-"

you stop and jaemin walks a couple of feet ahead before realizing and turning back

"why did you-"

"if you just wanted to make fun of my hobby, why did you even show up to the club today? no one forced you to join us - and you could have left at any point."

a look of surprises washes over jaemin, and then he scratches his head and seems to understand that all he's done is come of as a bit rude

"no - sorry, it's not my intention to criticize you. i just really wanted to know why you like it."

"lots of people like it. for lots of different reasons, just because something is boring to you doesn't mean it's boring to me. for your information na jaemin i don't find science to be all that interesting but you love it right?"

you aren't sure where this is all coming from, a part of you think it's just you exercising your right to tell this guy off for butting into your club unannounced

and the other part is just that......jaemin is always so straightforward and simple. he's always first to find a solution and for once maybe you want to get there first...just a one up against one of the most popular and intelligent students

"well science isn't boring, it's infinite and ever changing. isn't crocheting just doing the same thing over and over and over?"

"there are different-" you stops before you start, the two reasons you have for this conversation suddenly seeming childish and unnecessary

you glare at jaemin and stomp past him toward the station

obliviously, he starts after you, but you point back toward the school

"i would appreciate if you let me walk to the station alone now."

you don't look at his expression as you continue on your way, muttering in your head about how stupid that all was

jaemin watches you, but you don't feel his gaze on your back, instead you fume a little on your way home

but tell yourself that it doesn't matter, ultimately - you won't have to deal with jaemin again

he won't be showing up to your 'boring' club again anyway

✧

jaemin is there before you are, chatting at one of the two quieter students as they stare at him like deer in headlights

"basically, kiwi's don't have wings - but they're still considered birds, but interestingly they have more in common with mammals an-"

"jaemin" you get his attention and he smiles and waves at you as if everything is fine and as it should be. even though that's clearly not the case "what are doing here?"

he lifts his needles, "i'm here to crochet. this is crocheting club, right?"

you cross your arms, "didn't you tell me yesterday that you thought crocheting was boring?"

"i did"

"so then why are you here doing something boring when you have the choice to.........well not be?"

he stands up and you expect him to laugh, to turn this all into some joke that he's been playing out in his head

but instead he just gives you a clear smile

"because my choice is to be here. i want to be here and i want to crochet with you."

a gasp comes from the other two students in the room - renjun walks up behind you at the exact moment jaemin makes the proclamation and snorts

"so you're here to flirt? could the two of you do it somewhere else?"

"that's not-" you start but jaemin tilts his head at you like a puppy awaiting your call

"should we go crochet somewhere else? i want to continue our conversation from yesterday too."

renjun clicks his tongue, "oh your 'conversation' from yesterday huh?"

you feel heat on your skin from the eyes in the room and the absolute shameless way jaemin is staring straight at you with no intention of stopping

"actually, i have to go home - i have...stuff to do." you turn to make a beeline out of there, but in mere seconds jaemin has caught up with you with the cheery look on his face turned to concern

"wait - what do you mean do stuff? i heard you tell renjun at lunch that you're almost done with your scarf project and wanted to finish today at the club."

"oh so are you eavesdropping on me and my boring conversations now too? was not coming here to make fun of my boring hobby again not enough?"

jaemin looks lost, which confuses you because what other explanation could there be

"i was just near you in lunchroom and i never made fun of your hobby."

"jaemin, you literally asked me why i liked doing something so boring."

he takes a second and you're reminded of a loading screen on a game or a computer

"oh." he starts, brown eyes finding yours again "i didn't mean boring as a bad thing."

✧

you sit across from jaemin in the grass of a nearby park and watch him struggle through a couple of the first loops

after a moment he groans and puts the needles down

"it's just not for me."

"you can't say that just because you're bad at it. everyone is bad as a beginner."

jaemin shakes his head, "most things are easy to understand for me - how can i understand cell division but i can't understand how to make a square of fabric?"

you try to suppress a giggle, but jaemin catches you and thins his lips in response

"oh, is it funny that i'm not good at something you can do easily?"

you shrug playfully, "kinda."

he leans back against the tree his bag and yours are resting on as well

"i am sorry again.....i didn't think i would offend you when i ... said all that yesterday."

you rub your arm nervously, after storming out of the room with jaemin following you - you had been offended. mad, even.

but you had fundamentally misunderstood jaemin

he was just curious - as you had been when he was made your lab partner last semester

curious about why he'd been switched, but also just curious about how someone could have so much fun in science class

you didn't have that kind of fun with it - you weren't even interested in it really. you just had to pass the class.

jaemin was doing the same here, he'd just been more vocal about it and had used the wrong word when he'd picked "boring"

he had probably meant to say - why do you like crocheting? personally, it's not easy and fun for me.

which is a question lots of people have about it - and have asked you before

"don't apologize, you were just trying something new and wanted to know more about it i guess."

jaemin shakes his head

"i was trying something new - but i was trying it because i heard you liked it. i wanted to try something you liked."

the words are simple and strung together without shyness, but you don't really know how to take them

"um - why?"

"why what?" jaemin twists some of the yarn around his finger and then glances at you when you don't follow up

"why did i want to try something specifically you liked?"

he continues for you and you nod, unsure of what to add

he smiles and his teeth are pretty just like the rest of him

"because i like you."

✧

you reply the conversation close to a hundred times in your head that evening

"because i like you."

"sure, but you could have found another way to be my friend - you didn't have to force yourself into croc-"

"oh, sorry, let me say that again. i like you in the non-platonic kind of way."

jaemin's voice hadn't faltered, like with most things, he said this without a single hint of worry or lack of confidence

you'd felt the inside of your mouth go dry as you repeated it slowly back to him

"in the non-platonic kind of way?"

"yes." he'd taken the two crocheting needles and pressed the edges of the top sides together "like in this way, you know?"

you'd imagined he was mimicking kissing, but your mind halted that thought because - well - then that meant that na jaemin was implying that he wanted to kiss you

"are you being serious?"

was all you could think to say, the words tumbled out of you without a filter

"pretty serious."

he'd tilted his head and done the whole puppy awaiting your command look that probably sent most people head over heels within seconds

but just kept you sitting there almost dumbly confused

"you don't have to give me an answer now, and don't worry if you don't feel the same - just tell me how you really feel when you decide."

you sit up in bed and ball your fists around your covers

"when i decide? decide what? decide that i -"

you say it outloud and into the darkness of your room before groaning and falling back into your pillows, one hand thrown over your eyes

"not like i have a choice in deciding, it's you jaemin......of course, i like you too."

✧

jaemin is talking with renjun when you show up to the club the next day

and renjun throws a glance your way that immediately reads: please help me get away from this weirdo

jaemin waves at you casually, and it almost makes you forgot what happened yesterday

you sit down at one of the empty desks and take out your nearly completed scarf

looking at it, you nod to yourself, and focus on finally finishing

jaemin stays the entire time too, and you can see from the corner of your eye that he's trying out the technique you'd been showing him yesterday

he catches your gaze once and smiles, but goes back to his work

half thankful that he isn't sliding himself in beside you to talk while you work (or, more importantly - ask you for your answer)

but also half confused at how calm he is even after confessing

you let yourself get lost in your work and when the club ends, renjun and the two other students leaving before you and jaemin do

you look down at the scarf that's complete and then turn to the desk where jaemin is

he's fallen asleep on top of his attempt at making....well you aren't sure

and you get up to wake him

but before you put a hand on his shoulder, you take in the image of him - laying his head on his arms, uniform sleeves rolled up to his elbows

he's got a serene expression, as if he's having the best dream in the world, his bangs falling over his eyes and tickling the desk beneath him

even like this his jawline is sharp and handsome, his breathing is even and his long legs are stretched out past the desk beneath him

he doesn't look like he belongs here, in this room with you, but somewhere else

somewhere ethereal and beautiful

which makes what happened yesterday feel like it isn't real either

you suddenly feel like you shouldn't disturb him

which also make a sinking feeling in your stomach rise as you wonder if you should just ...... say no. maybe, rejecting jaemin is the right choice for the both of you because -

you clutch the scarf in your hands

because you and him don't fit. like failed science experiments, or a badly crocheted pair of socks

"i'm sorry." you start - in a small voice "i'm sorry, but i don't think i should like you back."

"that's silly."

you startle and look down to see jaemin opening his eyes and blinking back sleep

"you were aw-"

"oh! you finished." he points to the scarf and you reflexively let him take it out of your hands

he unravels it and gasps, "it looks even better than the ones in stores. are you going to give it to someone?"

i was going to give it to you. i was going to be selfish and say, of course i like you back. you of all people should be smart enough to know that.

but you're quiet in response and jaemin's eyes flicker a little as the dimming light outside trickles throughout the room

"so what did you mean by that, by thinking you shouldn't like me back?"

"jaemin-" his name sounds too soft when it leaves your mouth "we're different, i don't think we would work out."

"but you haven't tried." he gets up and smiles "you haven't even given it a try."

he dangles the scarf up beside him, "you probably didn't think you could make this when you started - but look at you now. you made this."

he places the scarf gently onto the desk, as if it's going to break if he mistreats it

"and i wouldn't have half as much fun doing the same experiments over and over again, never trying something new to get a new conclusion."

he opens his arms wide and you look at him with a wrinkle of your forehead

"so don't say you shouldn't like me or i shouldn't like you. just like me freely, like i like you. without inhabitation - and let's see what happens!"

for a minute the world stops and you and jaemin are alone in it

without another thought, you walk right into him, throwing your arms around his waist

for the first time you feel through the contact that he's surprised, but then his arms close in around you

"the scarf was for you by the way." you mumble into the front of his shirt "i hope you like it."

he let's go of you with one hand, the other still securely wrapped around you as he puts the scarf on

"i love it, i'm going to wear it all the time."

"even in the summer?"

"even in the summer."

✧

somehow jaemin doesn't seem to be as aware of the shock that pulsates through your school when you both walk in holding hands

and maybe it's the fact that jaemin is sticking to his word, walking around with your scarf around his neck despite being inside

but you're sure it's actually because na jaemin is dating someone.

and that someone is you

the only people who aren't surprised are the crocheting club

renjun just gives you the, him? well if you're sure look and the two other members speak their first full sentence to you: "you guys look cute together."

jaemin swings by the club a couple of more times with you, but it's mostly just to stare as you work

you don't mind it - but you encourage him to join a club of his own that does things that he's interested in

"but i still want to learn to crochet, you like it and i want to understand it."

you put your hands over his and lean up to peck him right on the lips

"that's nice of you, but i think we can appreciate the things we both like .... even if we don't do them."

"you just don't want me to get you involved in my science stuff right?"

you sheepishly give your answer with a sidelong look away from him

jaemin laughs and presses his lips to your cheek, kissing twice toward the tip of your nose and then spinning you into his arms for one more kiss on the lips

but jaemin, surprisingly, is serious about learning more

so sometimes you sit inbetween jaemin's legs, crocheting and humming to yourself as he rests his chin on your shoulder transfixed at your movements

you explain them and then let him take over, his long arms coming over yours and taking the needles

he's clumsy and it's taking him some time to get used to it

but with practice, you're sure he will get be better

one afternoon as you're sitting together like this - jaemin rests his chin on your shoulder

"want to know when i started liking you?"

you stop your work and enthusiastically nod - you had never asked him, but you definitely always wanted to know

"so, i was taking organic chemistry and we were learning about reactions, addition reactions - adding atoms to unsaturated molecules - talking about the importance of modifying existing organic compounds."

"jaemin - human words"

he laughs, "talking about how adding something to something that already exists and making it something different."

"ok...go on."

"and i thought, what's something new i can add to myself to make myself new? i couldn't think of anything. long story short, i talked to the professor i had about it and he wasn't impressed with it. he said something about how biology might suit me better if i was interested in 'how humans change'."

you look over your shoulder, "so you didn't blow up the lab like everyone says you did?"

"nope, but when i left his office that day i passed by the crocheting club room and i saw you."

you feel jaemin's hands wrap a little more tightly around you

"and i had this feeling in my chest that something in me changed - just by looking at you. turns out that to my luck you were in biology two and after transferring i got to be your lab partner."

he nuzzles his face against your neck and you gently graze your fingers up and down his arm

"each time we worked together, something inside of me was changing. maybe not a cellular level - but i felt new every time and i didn't want to let those feelings go when the semester did so - i found you where i'd seen you first."

you take in every word, but ask - "but, how did you know that change was-" you hesitate but jaemin says the word against your neck

"love?" he lifts his gaze back to yours

"because it was the only definition i could give to the change inside of me. and sitting down with you in crocheting club, walking you to the station, and telling you how i felt - proved my theory."

you look at his eyes - as clear and as truthful as they always are - the beautiful brown a lighter hue in the light

"that there was a new me, a new me that loves you."

when he presses his lips to yours - you want to say it back, you want to fill the entire world with it

i love you too, silly.

#jaemin to me is so fucking smart but so fucking goofy so it confuses everyone #when he was just debuting im like shy little guy. i was wrong #nct scenarios #nct dream scenraios #jaemin scenarios #jaemin au #nct dream au #nct au #writing commission #fluff/#sfw/

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