#astarion x tav x halsin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pheonixgrave · 8 months

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Safety

I saw a post the other day about Astarion watching Tav get railed by Halsin and this is what happened, I am so sorry :D

Warnings: Blood drinking, big Halsin, threesome, virgin tav is really into pain, service dom Halsin, sub Astarion, sub Tav, Astarion's poor relationship with sex, aftercare, oral, very large Halsin, set near end of act III

“Are you sure about this?” Tav sat on the edge of a private bed in Sharess’ Caress with Astarion sitting in a rather comfortable looking armchair facing her. He was lounging with a glass of wine in his hand. Just as she was clad only in a periwinkle satin robe that clung to her body.

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t, darling. Are you sure about this?” He could tell she was nervous. They had rented this room for one reason only. Privacy. While they had the rooms at the Elfsong, Astarion didn’t want the rest of their party listening in.

“I want to, I’m just nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before.” She chuckled, he knew. Of course he knew, why did she have to say it? Her nerves were starting to get the better of her. She tried breathing through it but her heart would not stop racing.

He smiled at her before rising to his feet. He walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands, “Nothing is going to happen if you don’t want it to. And you do have me here, I won’t let anything go further than what you want.”

“I trust you,” she placed a soft kiss against his lips before smiling. “But I can’t promise this will go smoothly.”

“My love, nothing goes smoothly when you’re involved.” He kissed her again, “maybe I could help you relax just a little before he gets here.”

“What do you mean?” His hands started to wander down her arms, slowly reaching the tie that kept her robe together.

Normally, someone of her station would have something longer, a little more regal. But this was not a regal situation. “Perhaps I can make you just a tad more comfortable.” With deft hands, he untied her robe. Gods, her freckled skin always made him catch his breath. But backlit by the sun setting outside, she looked like a goddess reborn. A perfect halo around her newly scarred body.

She only nodded, still embarrassed by the intimacy of it all. Her words may have been caught in her throat but her body obeyed. She spread her legs for him to fit between them. She leaned back on her elbows as he ever so gently pushed her back. “Astarion?”

“Shh, darling, let me.” He dropped to his knees. Holding her thighs open, he licked a long stripe against her cunt. She gasped but tangled her fingers in his hair. He only wanted to bring her to that edge and maybe prep her just a little. He made lazy circles around her clit while she writhed on the bed. It was his favorite dance with her.

But before he would get too wrapped up in the taste of her, the doors swung open. To say Halsin was a presence was an understatement. And as soon as Astarion went to pull away to make room, the druid held him there. “Do not stop on my account.”

Tav immediately went to cover herself and they let her, but Astarion’s tongue continued. This time encouraged by an audience, he buried his face in her cunt. Leaving no inch undiscovered, he couldn’t help but fuck her with his tongue. Tav tried to stay quiet, tried to keep her moans to herself. What she did with Astarion was filthy enough and adding the archdruid seemed so strange to her. She turned her face towards him and watched him slowly start to undress. He was so…large. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about being held by him. It was almost enough to distract her from the Rogue between her legs. Almost.

She felt her orgasm wash over her as he gave her clit a slight nip. "Astarion!" She cried, giving his hair a harsh tug.

He let her ride out her high for a moment before standing before her, her legs still spread and her chest heaving. The golden rays of the sun surrounded her now. Her golden hair fanned out behind her and the flush of her skin was all Astarion wanted to look at. Dazed by her taste and how angelic Tav looked at that moment, he didn't notice Halsin turning him around to face him.

Halsin wasn't one to waste time, not when it came to this. He held Astarion's face and smashed his lips against the smaller elf's. Tav could do nothing but watch the druid ravage him. It took her breath away to watch him pick Astarion up and drop him in the chair yet again. The two made eye contact for a moment. He looked positively wrecked. His face was far more flushed than usual and she could see how hard he was through his trousers. It made her cunt clench.

Then he turned to her. "Astarion was right. You taste as sweet as any wine." If it had been possible, the bard would have even blushed even more. Halsin towered over her. She watched as he slowly unbuckled his breeches, her breath catching in her throat. The initial trepidation had been washed away with Astarion. Or so she had thought.

Halsin was big. Astarion was nothing to scoff at but Halsin was another creature entirely. She swallowed hard, "Is that even going to fit?"

He slowly started stroking himself, "It has before in much smaller."

"Gods," she practically whimpered, tossing her head against the pillows.

"Did you prep her?" His voice was so low and hungry.

"I didn't have enough time, you barged in before I could really commit." Astarion sounded like a different person. He was far more whiny than before. He was feeling just as needy as she was.

"Sit behind her." Astarion moved before she realized it, sitting against the pillows and resting her head resting on his chest. It dawned on her that he liked following his commands. She could feel how hard he was pressed against her back. "Good boy."

A shiver ran down the rogue's back as a light whimper escaped him.

"Now hold her just like that," he stood between her legs with Astarion propping her up. It took her by surprise when Halsin's thick fingers spread her cunt open. "Such a pretty girl," he murmured to himself before slowly slipping just one finger inside her. Tav writhed against the vampire spawn, silently begging for more. She tried to gain a little friction by grinding her hips against his hand. "Hold her, Astarion."

It was a quick command but one he followed without thinking. He wrapped his arms around her middle. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, "Are you alright, love?"

She whimpered but nodded. She simply needed more. "Touch her."

His hands were quick to find her breasts. She arched her back into his touch as Halsin added a second finger and started practically pistoning his fingers in and out of her. "Gods!"

"Good, just let go for me. You will have to cum around my fingers before I give either of you anything else." Halsin watched the two in front of him. Astarion might have needed this more than he had thought. And so did Tav. It was impossible not to find either of them attractive. It had been even more impossible to ignore that attraction. And now that she was laid bare in front of him with him behind her, it was almost too much. He silently prayed to the Oak Father for control.

Tav's moans got louder. Her hands gripped Astarion's shirt as he played with her breasts. She thought the attention Astarion gave her was overwhelming but it was nothing compared to the attention of the two elfs. “Shit,” she gasped as her cunt clenched around Halsin’s fingers.

He removed his fingers from her, not hesitating to suck them clean. “If I did not want to take you now, I would spend hours just tasting you.”

She only whined in response, still coming down from another high. She never imagined herself as a plaything before. But she could scarcely think of little else than the two men using her body. The thought alone was nearly enough to push her over the edge again. She didn’t have much time to dwell on the thought. Halsin used his other hand to direct her face towards him. “Is this what you want?”

She nodded.

“I need more than that.”

“Yes! Just-”she whined, “please!”

Halsin smiled to himself. They had jumped into this with little preparation or conversation and a part of him was worried it might be too much. He was already worried that giving Astarion commands would be too much yet he followed them so sweetly. The two of them were so eager to obey him. He held her thighs apart, taking a moment to watch her cunt twitch in anticipation before dragging himself through her folds. He groaned as he slowly pushed his way inside her.

She cried out at the stretch. Gods, it hurt. Her face twisted from pleasure to pain. Astartion hushed her, gently stroking her cheek. “I know, darling, you have to relax.” She nodded, focusing on her breathing.

Halsin stopped, gently stroking her thighs. “Are you alright?”

“Gods, don’t you dare stop now,” she nearly cried. Between a shady priest and Astarion, she had learned that pain was merely a motivator.

It took patience and care, but eventually he found himself completely buried inside of her. She looked so small like this but so tight and hot. He leaned down to press a kiss against her lips. A kiss she eagerly returned, a hand threading itself through his hair. He broke away panting, leaning towards Astarion next. He could feel his fangs nip at his lips. Not intentionally, just silently begging for more. He braced himself standing at the edge of the bed, holding her thighs apart. “Are you ready?”

Another nod. This time, he didn’t make her talk, just gave a couple shallow thrusts. Those shallow thrusts slowly turned harder and harder until he was practically punching the air from her lungs. Without thinking, he grabbed Astarion’s hand and pulled it towards her clit. Normally, he was slow and teasing with his ministrations. But something about watching someone else fuck her into her own oblivion made him wild. Quick and purposeful circles around her clit combined with Halsin’s rough treatment had her back arching in almost no time at all.

In a daze, Tav grabbed the back of Astarion’s head and brought him down towards her. She wanted to kiss him, to feel him too. Most of all? She wanted him to bite her. Once she broke the kiss, she bared her neck to him in a silent plea. Astarion looked at Halsin through his eyelashes. She wasn’t the only one who looked absolutely wrecked.

The druid’s eyes were transfixed on her cunt swallowing him whole. His chest was heaving as he held her trembling thighs open. “Hells,” he whispered underneath his breath. He glanced up at the rogue, who was equally transfixed on his cock bullying her. “Say what you need, Astarion.” He growled, closer to his own end than he would like.

Astarion stroked her neck with the hand that wasn’t still circling her clit. "She's asking for a bite," he all but whined and pouted.

"By all means," he had never seen something like that. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't curious and if she was asking in the throes of another orgasm? Who was he to deny her?

Astarion adjusted so he could be closer to her neck, she didn't seem to notice. She could only moan and cry out nonsense. And then he bit her neck, right where her scars were forming at the juncture of her neck.

Halsin watched her eyes roll back in her head as she scratched at the vampire’s thighs and created a vice grip on his cock. It was too much even for him, he tried to hold back, to let her ride out this high one more time. But he couldn’t. He pulled out right before he finished, coating her body in his seed as Astarion drank from her. He stood there for a moment, trying to collect his own thoughts. Astarion was running his hands up and down her body, making a mess on her stomach, her neck seemingly forgotten.

He dragged his fingers through Halsin’s seed, using the other hand to pry her mouth open. She sucked in his fingers without question. It was salty and earthy, she gagged at first but tried to lick Astarion’s fingers clean. And she swallowed every drop on his hands. If he wasn’t careful, Halsin would need another chance to bury himself inside her. Now that he’s had her, could he ever truly think of anything else?

Without warning, Astarion left her side, positioning himself at the edge of the bed once more. Only a fool would be able to miss the tent in his trousers. Halsin watched him lick every drop of his seed off her stomach while his hand found her clit once more while Tav looked at Halsin with pleading eyes.

“Good boy,” Halsin’s hands wrapped around his own cock, watching the vampire clean the bard with his tongue. “Do you wish to fuck her too? I would hate for you to be left wanting.”

For once, Astarion had nothing to say. With clumsy hands, he stripped out of his clothes. Tav was far too gone to notice him shaking. But Halsin watched him bury his cock in her cunt and watched her nearly scream. He watched him fuck her with reckless abandon. It didn’t feel like the Astarion he knew. He walked behind him, running his hands down his arms. “She is not going anywhere, sweetling. You are safe,” he whispered into the vampire’s ears.

His grip on Tav tightened while Halsin kissed his neck and rubbed gentle circles on his thighs as she reached He let him work out whatever he was feeling on her already abused cunt. Astarion came with a strangled cry. He collapsed on Tav, tangling his limbs with hers. The two laid there, completely spent and out of breath with tears pricking his eyes. Halsin felt his heart swell looking at the two. He smiled to himself before walking towards the washroom. Casting a spell to warm the water already sitting in the room’s tub.

First, he scooped up Tav in his arms. She nuzzled against his chest and welcomed the warmth of the water. Next he swept Astarion in his arms and sat him next to the bard. It was a quick thing getting the two of them scrubbed down. Eventually, Astarion came back into his right mind and started scrubbing Tav’s hair. Tav, who was still in a dazed state, simply leaned against the much larger elf as the vampire helped scrub her body. For a while after, Halsin simply held the two smaller elfs as they curled against him and simply slept. He hadn’t expected to stay but he was more than happy to.

#astarion #baulders gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion smut #fem!tav #astarion x tav #halsin x tav #astarion x tav x halsin #here we go again #i apologize in advance #not my gif

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fandom-go-round · 6 months

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Personal Time: Astarion x Reader x Halsin

Did I romance either of these two? No I didn't. Is that going to stop me? God I wish it would

Warnings: Sex, Sexual Situations, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Dom/Sub (Astarion Topping), Leashes, Light Humiliation, Size Kink, Sex Outdoors, Overstimulation, Teasing, Edging, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Threesome, Mild Pain Kink, Established Relationship, Poly Relationship (Astarion x Reader x Halsin), Druid Tav

You did everything correctly, thank you very much. You behaved yourself on the road, making sure to not threaten anyone, even the guy who tried to rip you off. You kept your mouth shut when you ended up covered in blood and guts. Today had not been your day, damn it but you were going to make something of it. Which meant that you were going to get off of course.

Dinner passed without incident and after helping to clean up, you told everyone you’d be going to wash up. No one tried to stop you (even as they teased you about being alone) and you made your way to the river, skin itching. The plan was to clean up quickly and then take your time. It’s why you picked a more secluded site from camp, far enough away that no one would run into you.

You sped through your bath routine, making sure to get all the blood off. You wanted to spend more time doing and less time thinking. The sun was just beginning to set, the grass still warm in a sunspot away from the shore. You laid out your blanket, placing your small bag of personal items onto the ground. You took a moment to just breath, letting the tension roll out.

Secluded location inside the trees? Check. Oil and toys? Check. Far enough away you might be able to make a little noise? Check. You did one last scan of the tree line to make sure no one was behind you and got to work.

Foreplay was skipped to get off quicker, although you did take some time to pinch your nipples and move lower. You grabbed your vial of oil, rubbing it between your fingers before laying back. Thank the gods you grabbed a pillow. It didn’t take you long to start feeling hot. You circled a few times, your other hand reaching down to play with yourself. The gentle stretch of your finger turned into slick movement after a few strokes. You grunted and added another finger, moving your other hand to better support you. You had brought more toys to make it fun but didn’t want to rush. Tonight, you wanted this to take a while.

You let out a sigh as you pushed a third finger into yourself, not feeling as much of the burn. You stopped moving, enjoying the feeling of being full before starting to pump. You opened your legs wider without thinking, head leaning back. The change in angle helped so you heard the moment someone gasped.

“Darling!” Shit. Your eyes snapped open at the voice and you swallowed hard. Astarion’s face was amused, the shock on his face half true. You groaned, giving a huff as you slowed your fingers. His eyes flickered down to your hand, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He stepped into the clearing, dying sunlight giving him a soft glow.

“Looking for a show?” You tried your best to come off coy but you were too breathless. There was a part of you that felt embarrassed by Astarion catching you and the other part figured this was his own fault. He went looking for you and that was on him. He smirked at your voice, taking your words as an invitation to move forward. You watched him take you in, red eyes bright and getting darker. He hummed and you began to fuck yourself faster.

“I was wondering what you were doing, yes. Wanted some alone time?” His voice had taken a softer tone, even if the words sounded mocking to the untrained ear. You gave him a smile and half shrug, angling your legs better as he took a peek. Astarion gave you a smirk, hand drifting down to rub himself through his pants.

“Today sucked and I figured this would make it better.” He took in your face as you spoke, eyebrows furrowing a bit. Affection bubbled up, your eyes soft as you gazed at him. The two of you had been working through Astarion’s hesitations with sex and both of you felt confident in approaching each other.

“…would you like some help? Or shall I leave you to it?” You smiled at his question, sitting up so you could wave him over fully. Astarion pulled his shirt off, giving you a wink as he began to strip. You gave an apperceive groan, leaning back on one hand and pulling your fingers free. You wiped them on a cloth, making sure that your hand wasn’t sticky. He tracked the movement, sighing and then gracefully kneeling between your legs.

“I would love it if you helped.” You wrapped an arm around his neck, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He gave a slight smile at your gentleness, kissing your check back.

“And you didn’t think to invite me? Just plain rude.” His words were teasing against your skin, lips trailing over your shoulders and down your chest. He nipped at your skin until you shivered, shifting so it was easier for him to reach. You gave a soft moan, your other hand going to tangle into his hair.

“Honestly? I just figured this would make things more efficient.” He laughed around a nipple, giving a hard suck. You rocked your hips towards him, Astarion grinding his cock against you. He pulled back to give you a wicked smirk, fangs peeking out from behind his lips.

“Oh dear, now I’m really going to have to take you apart.” He didn’t give you any time to respond, kissing you hard and lining himself up against your entrance. His tongue brushed against yours and you groaned into his mouth as he pushed his cock into you.

He was bigger than your fingers, the burn of the stretch making you tingle. Astarion didn’t give you time to adjust, rocking into you. He didn’t pull out, only pushed deeper and you whimpered. His hips were hard against your own and it took a couple seconds to realize he was pinning you down.

“Astarion.” You called him name, trying to sound scolding but coming out whinier. He laughed, nipping at your neck as he pulled you closer. You were half in his lap now, legs wide open and hitched over his. Your lover began to move faster, fangs sinking into your skin as you exposed your neck.

He didn’t drink deeply, moaning lowly and rolling his hips. You felt bolts of pleasure move up your spine, orgasm so close and yet so far. When he pulled his fangs out you squeezed around him hard, the vampire groaning. One of his hands came up to tease your chest, flicking and pinching the skin.

“Aren’t you a little eager? I thought you were going to draw this out?” You made a surprised sound, pulling back to look at his face. He smirked and stopped moving, buried deep inside of you. He plucked your bag off the forest floor, ignoring how you squirmed against him. Astarion pulled out a dildo, chuckling as he began to go through the bag. You’re not embarrassed; you’ve been together long enough you know his teasing is lighthearted. There is a bit of heat on your face as he pulled out another, larger dildo and you see the understanding in his eyes.

“I was going to but now I have help.” He threw his head back and laughed at your comment, the sound breathless and mocking. You leaned forward and began kissing down his chest, stopping to pay attention at his nipples. Long fingers wrapped around your throat and you gasped, pushing into his hand.

“Oh sweetness.” Astarion cooed at you, placing your bag back on the ground and pushing you to lay back. “I am going to have you here all night. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be stretched out all night?” You gave him a wicked smile in return, wrapping your legs around his waist. He snarled and finally moved again, face focused on where he’s pushing into you.

The dirty talk started to become white noise the closer you got to cumming. Astarion’s hand was still wrapped around your neck, holding but not squeezing. That made your brain fuzzy on a good day but when he reached down to rub you just right? You’re only half aware you’re cumming, cutting yourself off halfway through a satisfied moan. Astarion’s eyes locked on your face, a softness in his features that only happens now, after the two of you have confessed.

“Gorgeous.” His words are breathless and you almost lose them in the hazy of pleasure. Instead, you gave him a smile, groaning as he pulled out of you. There’s an answering groan behind you and you gasped, fingers digging into your lover’s sides. Astarion cooed at you, stroking your hair and looking over your shoulder.

“Come to find us bear?” You relaxed as Astarion identified your other lover, looking over your shoulder to see Halsin. The druid offered you a smile, eyes dark but face sympathetic.

“I only wished to check in on you. Forgive me for interrupting.” Halsin did, to his credit, sound a little embarrassed. You snickered, hole clenching around nothing. You had wanted to wait until the larger dildo to cum but you couldn’t resist Astarion.

“You’re alright Halsin, Astarion interrupted first.” The vampire gave a short ‘humph!’ at your words, more playful than serious. Halsin gave another smile, eyes slowly roaming over the two of you. You shivered, trying to ignore the heat pooling in your gut. Apparently, you were ready to go again.

“I offered help and you accepted, simple as that. Bear, “ Astarion had his semi mocking tone again, eyes showing that he was playing. “Come over here and clean up this mess.” All three of you shared a look, questions and answers coming quickly. Halsin, as always, had to speak things into the world.

“Would you mind if I joined you?” You shook your head, slowly turning over to face him. He gave a low groan as you opened your legs towards him, Astarion settling in behind you. He was still hard but grabbed your hand to place a kiss on the back of it when you tried to wrap a hand around his cock.

“Not at all. I’d love you to.” Your voice was lower than normal speaking to Halsin, more proof to you being warm and fucked. Both of your lovers moved closer, Halsin beginning to strip and Astarion reached for your bag.

“I’m much more in the mood to direct than participate right now. Maybe after a show?” Astarion’s words had you and Halsin sharing a look, letting the words sink in before you both nodded. Astarion and Halsin had their own relationship outside the three of you and you were thankful that the triad was working for everyone. All of you enjoyed taking charge from time to time and no one had any issue with that being Astarion tonight. He gave a sinful smile at your consent and Halsin groaned, pulling your legs closer.

“We will be more than happy to provide the entertainment.” Halsin’s words were laced with a growl and you gave an agreeing moan. He leaned down to kiss at your thighs, Astarion’s hands moving to hold you open. You squirmed, trying to get Halsin to nip but he didn’t take the bait. The druid groaned, eyes flickering to your face for just a moment before diving in.

You whimpered, eyes closing as Halsin began to eat you out with vigor. His mouth was hot and with Astarion’s help, it felt like he was warming you from the inside out. He had no issue cleaning up the mess you made, one of his hands drifting down towards his cock. Astarion gave a pleased moan, eyes darting over to your bag.

“Do you mind a couple of toys, Halsin?” The large elf looked up at the call of his name, eyes flickering over to your bag and then back to you. You sighed dramatically, pushing your hips closer to the eager mouth.

“You’re not going to embarrass me Astarion.” Your tone was playful and he laughed, something fond on his face.

“Oh I know that darling. Between the two of you I have learned, without at doubt, that druids are freaks.” You laughed at his words, Halsin’s eyes flashing with amusement as he began to lick you clean. He traced the edges of your hole over and over and your laugh dissolved into a whine.

“Toys are acceptable. What are you thinking Astarion?” It took all of your willpower to not cry out as Hasin pulled away. Astarion didn’t answer the other man’s question verbally, reaching into your bag and pulling out a collar and leash. Halsin’s eyebrows raised and you blinked in surprise; you hadn’t meant to grab that.

“Our adorable little pet wanted to be stretched out tonight and who better to do that than you? But I was hoping that you’d let me, ah, control the pace?” Astarion phrased his want as a question but it was coy, said to sound more enticing. Halsin sat back on his knees to think, slowly stroking himself. You watched his hand intently, wondering if Astarion would let you up so you could suck Halsin off. Just a lick?

“I do not mind, as long as we keep the same precautions as last time.” You both nodded at the druid’s words, Halsin leaning towards Astarion with a smile. The last time the three of you had played, Halsin had tied the two of you up with rope and fucked you for hours. The word to stop was ‘dragon egg mushroom’ and three snaps if you couldn’t speak. It was a good system and it hadn’t failed you yet.

“Excellent.” Astarion purred, grabbing the back of Halsin’s head. He kissed him hard, tongue darting into the druid’s mouth. You watched them make out for a moment, fingers reaching down to stoke Halsin. The larger man groaned, a gasp following shortly after. You refocused your attention on them and groaned when you saw the collar around Halin’s throat. Astarion pulled back with a smirk, giving a gentle tug of the leash.

They weren’t anything fancy, a simple leather set but Astarion treated them like they were made of gold. And they looked like it in his hands. He gave an amused chuckle, taking in Halsin and tugging him close. Halsin followed immediately; there was no way the collar was tight enough to cause actual harm. He was freely giving Astarion the ability to control him and the vampire loved it. They kissed a few more times, Halsin groaning into the vampire’s mouth.

“Go ahead and start pushing into them dear, they’ve been waiting long enough.” Astarion’s voice left no room for argument and Halsin gave a tight nod, kissing down his neck. You could see the gold rising into his eyes but he pushed it down. You pulled your hand away and Astarion reached over to drizzle oil onto his cock. Halsin groaned and you gave an answering groan in response. The elf behind you chuckled, tugging you so that you were almost laying completely flat. Your head was cradled on Astarion’s thigh, Halsin watching as you got situated.

Once you were comfortable Halsin moved in, the leash taught as he was pulled closer. He used once hand to line up with you, groaning at how wet you were. Your mouth opened in a wordless sound as the tip of Halsin’s cock opened you up. Normally you would need a lot more prep but Astarion was eager to see you fall apart early. You couldn’t ignore the burn and Halsin waited, eyes flickering between the two of you.

“They wanted this you know.” Astarion’s voice was easy to focus on, even if you know he was going to say something embarrassing. His words always make you feel good, even if they’re teasing. “They were going to take it nice and slow but we know they can take more, can’t you darling?”

You try to answer, really you do but your words are cut off as Astarion pulls on the collar again. Halsin pressed closer, the head of his cock slowly pressing in and you moaned, head going back. Your legs were getting sore, insides pulsing with a mix of numbness and pleasure. Sweat gathered around Halsin’s temples and his arms shook with the force of holding himself back.

“I-I don’t want to hurt them.” Halsin’s eyes were getting glassy, looking at Astarion with pupils blown wide. The vampire cooed, giving a devilish smile. One of his hands reached down to rub you and both you and Halsin groaned as you tighten.

“You aren’t going to hurt them bear, you’re being such a sweet boy.” Halsin shuddered at the praise, letting himself be guided forward. He’s halfway inside and you know that he’s not going to fit the rest of the way, not if you’re not stretched out. Your hole was still burning but it felt so good, like when a bruise starts to heal.

“Besides, they like pain with their pleasure. Isn’t that right?” One of Astarion’s hands came up to pinch your cheek and you moaned, giving a nod. It felt so good when he treated you like a toy.

“F-feels so good Halsin please-“ Your words were cut off with a yell as he began to rock his hips. He doesn’t go deeper but hits one spot that makes you see stars. Normally you can’t cum from penetration alone but fuck if he’s not going to try. Halin’s hands are white-knuckled fists by your hips; he only moved how Astarion let him and you almost cum at the realization.

“He can use you however he wants, can’t he?” Astation’s voice lulls you both deeper, Halsin moving faster and you opening your legs wider. “Halsin’s been so good for us, he should get rewarded. Such a gorgeous wild thing, playing nice with us.”

Blood rushed in your ears and you’re so close to orgasm it hurts. Your body was still sensitive from Astarion taking you and Halsin makes you feel like you’re going to break apart at the seams. Halsin doesn’t stop thrusting, eyes locked on Astarion’s face as he fucks into you. He still doesn’t go deeper than halfway and all it took was Astarion rubbing you a few times for orgasm to hit.

You half registered Halsin following you over the edge, hips jerking as pleasure washed through you. The elf gave a roar as he came, eyes snapping to your face. Astarion released the leash and Halsin bent over to give you the filthiest kiss of the night. You moaned into his mouth, Astarion jerking himself off just behind you. He came with a quiet sigh, none of the mess ending up on you.

The three of you bask for a moment; you’re too blissed out to talk and the boys kiss gently and talk over your shoulders. Eventually Halsin pulls out and Astarion takes off the collar, everyone returning to their bodies.

“Thank you.” Your voice is still slurred and they turn to you with matching smiles. Astarion gently kisses your forehead before rising, Halsin pulling you into his lap. You’ll be sore tomorrow but its worth every second of discomfort.

“No need to thank us my heart; thank you for letting us enjoy the night with you.” You give him a quick kiss, Astarion walking back with water and a wet rag. The two of them are in charge of cleaning; you’re only half conscious to anything being said. You grumble as Halsin redresses you, the druid smiling and pinching your nipple. Astarion rolls his eyes but says nothing, the three of you heading back to camp. The others will tease you mercilessly but you’re too blissed out to care; that’s a tomorrow problem.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #halsin x reader #astarion x reader x halsin #astarion imagine #halsin imagine #baldur's gate 3 imagine #astarion x tav #halsin x tav #astarion x tav x halsin #bg3 imagine #astarion bg3 #halsin bg3 #astarion #halsin #astarion ancunin

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aethes-bookshelf · 6 months

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empty eyes, emptier words || astarion/tav/halsin

I've been stuck in BG3 hell since the game first came out. I'm still in there. I don't think I'll be coming out anytime soon, so have this piece of angst. If everything goes well, maybe I'll deliver on some devil fucking (ft. Haarlep & Raphael). But that's a big IF.

For now, take this. I wrote it in class. I was supposed to be paying attention, but I made this instead. Bon appétit.

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, tav straight up fucking dies

Pairing: astarion/tav/halsin

Wordcount: 1.4k

Summary: Orin knew exactly who to take to hit those troublesome True Souls the hardest. Their leader was the obvious choice - a chicken can only run so far if you take its head. Tav would make a beautiful sacrifice for Bhaal.

And if anyone came to try and get them back? All the better. Blood will flow either way. And what a sight it'll be.

[I made some changes to Orin's dagger. Now, whoever gets killed with it can't be resurrected. Or can they?]

ao3 link || part 2

Orin turned around at the first sound of footsteps. She brandished her dagger, her Netherstone embedded in the cold metal of the weapon. She was standing on the sacrificial altar at the center of the temple. Beneath her laid Tav, arms and legs bound. They were unconscious, fresh and old wounds littering their body. The little clothing they wore stuck to their skin, wet with blood. The smell of it hit Astarion like a club to the head. He hated how his mouth instantly watered, hunger rearing its ugly head.

‘I don’t smell Gortash’s rot on you,’ Orin said, crouching by Tav’s body. She dragged her blade across their skin. Fresh blood bubbled to the surface. Tav didn’t even flinch. They were barely breathing.

‘Did it think it could trick me? Did it think it could save?’ Orin taunted, her dagger stopping right over Tav’s heart. Astarion could hear its faint beating.

The heat of Karlach’s anger burned the air around her. ‘I hope you’re not about to do what I think you are. For your sake.’ Her massive ax sliced through the pungent air, tail swishing behind her.

Halsin didn’t speak, but his eyes glowed bright gold. His hands were clenched at his sides, anger barely restrained.

Astarion unsheathed his own daggers, their weight a fleeting comfort. ‘You lay one more finger on them, I’ll rip your throat out,’ he said. A growl ripped itself out of his throat.

‘Your teeth aren’t sharp enough to pierce my throat,’ said Orin. The tip of her dagger sank into Tav’s chest. ‘Not enough to slice my flesh, taste my blood.’ She drew back her hand, dagger rising into the air. A speck of blood followed its tip.

Astarion clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt. His upper lip drew back; he bared his fangs on instinct.

‘Even if you kill them, all you’ll achieve is pissing us off,’ said Karlach. Her words were confident, but her voice betrayed her; she was afraid. ‘We’ll just bring them back so they can spit on your fucking corpse after I split you in half, you crazy bitch.’

None of them liked the way Orin laughed at those words. ‘“Bring them back”? Not here. Not with Bhall’s blessing.’ She grinned, showing all of her teeth. ‘They’ll be the first sacrifice of the night. Then I’ll spill your blood and guts on their flayed skin.’ A shiver ran through Orin as she brought her dagger down.

The blade sank into Tav’s chest with a sickening squelch. They gasped, body going rigid for just a second. Then they went limp.

Astarion’s scream rang through the still air as Karlach charged the altar.

* * *

Astarion knelt down by the bodies laying on the stairs and started rifling through their pockets.

‘What the hell are you doing, Fangs?’ asked Karlach. Tears were evaporating off of her face, her infernal engine still hot with her battle rage. The ashes of a used scroll of revivify were cooling at her feet. The spell's energy had already ran out and Tav was still limp, their body slowly going rigid.

‘I’m looting, can’t you tell?’ Astarion’s voice was snappy, but even. ‘Tav’s usually the one to take everything that’s not nailed down but they obviously can’t do it this time, can they?’

He leaned down over a pile of smoking bones and burned blood that used to be a man once. ‘They always find something for us in these piles of trash, I thought it’d be… nice to do the same for them for once.’ He managed to fish out a rusted dagger from underneath the pile.

‘Astarion,’ said Karlach, voice breaking.

‘Besides, their favorite tea ran out a few days ago, so we’re gonna need stuff to sell.’ He leaned over the pile of Orin’s gore next. ‘Tav spent most of our money on some new armor for you and Gale, and that tea’s expensive, you know?’ He took Orin’s dagger. His hands were shaking.

‘Astarion,’ Karlach tried again. The low hiss of evaporating tears got louder.

‘They deserve to drink something good when they come back, no?’ Astarion stood up straight. His grip on Orin’s dagger was so tight his chuckles went paper-white.

‘Astarion,’ Karlach’s voice was low and thick with tears, ‘I don’t think they’re coming ba—’

‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ Astarion was quick to turn around and point the dagger at Karlach’s chest. ‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence.’ For the first time since they arrived at the temple, his voice broke. ‘Of course they’re coming back. Why do we keep that creepy skeleton around if not to bring us back in times like these?’

His eyes watered. ‘They’re coming back. They have to. They must. Even if that means I’ll have to drag them out of the Hells myself.’

Astarion’s eyes wandered to Tav’s broken corpse. They were still laying on the altar, the stone of it slick with their drying blood. He couldn’t see their face; Halsin’s shoulders were obstructing the view. Astarion could swear the druid was shaking too.

‘Halsin, they’re coming back, right? They’re coming back!’ If Astarion’s heart still beat, it’d be fluttering with rising panic.

Halsin’s voice was low and quiet. He kept stroking Tav’s matted hair as he spoke. ‘I’m not sure they will, my friend.’

Those words punched all air out of Astarion’s lungs. Fury replaced it.

‘Shut up!’ he screamed; his voice echoed in the empty temple. ‘We were supposed to have decades together. Decades! They can’t leave yet. They promised!’ His knees buckled. With every word he spoke, he sank lower and lower, until his knees hit the cold stone beneath him. ‘They promised we’d… We were supposed to find a way for me to be in the sun again,’ his voice faded into silence.

Astarion couldn’t speak anymore. His chest clenched and his eyes burned. He wanted to scream. He wanted to rage and kill, and tear. He wanted to bring Orin back just so he could send her to her blasted god all over again. He wanted to hear Tav laugh at one of his stupid jokes.

His throat was clenched so tight not even sobs could escape it. He was vaguely aware Halsin’s shoulders were openly shaking with his grief, but he couldn’t bring himself to comfort the druid. That would mean looking at Tav’s empty eyes. That would make this entire nightmare real. So very, terribly real.

Astarion’s grip on Orin’s dagger loosened; the weapon fell with a loud cling, its Netherstone slipping out of it. The stone shone dimly in the light of the torches.

All of it for these stones. All this death, pain and misery for these three pieces of one whole. Tav died for it.

Meaningless, meaningless, meaningless. All of it. All of it!

Astarion’s mind was reeling; jumping from pain to denial to anger to desperation. He didn’t know what to do. Tav would know, he thought, and a fresh wave of tears fell.

Karlach laid a hand on his shoulder. She’d cooled down enough for her touch to be only slightly painful on his corpse-cold skin. ‘We have to go, Fangs. Halsin.’ Her grip on Astarion tightened when he shook his head. ‘We have to go,’ she repeated, harsher this time. Barely restrained emotion shook her voice. ‘If they even can come back, we need to get them back to camp as soon as possible.’

Halsin took a deep breath and wiped his face with the back of his hand. ‘Karlach’s right,’ he said and stood up. Tav was limp as he cradled them close to his chest. To his heart. ‘If we stay here too long, we’ll certainly lose them for good.’ The druid squared his shoulders and turned to face the other two.

Astarion went rigid at the sight of Tav’s hand, limply hanging off the side of their body. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at their face.

‘Astarion,’ Halsin’s voice was soft, ‘I understand your pain. They are in my heart as they are in yours. But we mustn't waste time lest we lose them forever. If there is a chance to save them, we must act now.’

Astarion swallowed down the bile rising in his throat. The chill of death had never been more present in his bones. He nodded, silent, and picked up Orin’s dagger and Netherstone.

‘Let’s go,’ said Karlach, new-found determination on her face. ‘We still have to buy their favorite tea after this, right? How’d you put it, Fangs? “They deserve to drink something good after this”?’

Astarion nodded. He didn’t trust his voice not to break if he spoke. There was an empty, far-away look in his eyes.

As they left the temple of Bhaal, the sweet stench of blood followed them out.

#my writing #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #halsin x tav #halsin x reader #astarion x tav x halsin #angst #hurt/no comfort #major character death #x reader #gender neutral tav #ambiguous ending

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wolfwhisperertf · 3 months

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DON'T FLAY ME PLZ!

how other people see the astarion x tav x halsin ship

how I see the astarion x tav x halsin ship

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #halsin #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #astarion x halsin #astarion x tav x halsin #halsin x tav

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ashleyinwondrland · 5 months

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I love the idea of Tav x Astarion x Halsin relationship

But it needs to be that Astarion falls for Halsin on his own not because of Tav

And I feel like if Astarion gave Halsin the opening, he would go full Shoresy

Halsin: I’d be so good to ya like crazy

Astarion: How good?

Halsin: like you’d wake up and I’m right there, be’in good to ya

Astarion (chuckling): that’s actually unsettling

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #Halsin #astarion x halsin #astarion x tav x halsin #tav x astarion x halsin #tav x halsin x astarion #halsin x tav x astarion #Halsin x Astarion x Tav #Astarion x Halsin x Tav #there needs to be an easier tag

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nekrosmos · 8 months

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Sometimes a family is a tiefling and his two elven boyfriends ✌️

This one was a big piece, anyone who reblogs it gets an "astarion approves" in the corner of their screen <3

#bg3 #astarion #halsin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 halsin #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #I spent way too long on this and I'm at least proud to be done #Also I'm open for coms if anyone's interested #oc: hex #my art #my ocs #astarion x tav #astarion x halsin #astarion x tav x halsin

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downbadbytheriver · 3 months

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[WIP] "Safe"

Oops I've got Tav/Astarion/Halsin healthy throuple brainrot. <3

I'm really terrible at sharing art; the RSD scares me out of it every time. But here's the line art to push me to finish and post the finished piece, and in the hope that there's any other feral BG3some shippers out there...

Anyway. Properly kendolled/semi-clothed the boys for Tumblr rules. I might post the NSFW version if anyone wants it, but I'm not sure yet where.

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abigailmoment · 5 months

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"Do you want to become art?"

Astarion answered the question correctly. He knelt and clasped his hands and listened to the sounds of the black lacquered box. He held himself as still as a statue. As quiet as a painting. At least for the first circle.

"Astarion?"

He always thought that the second, smaller circle would take less time, and he was always wrong. He tried so hard to keep all the writhing in his hands. A twitching statue. He tried so hard to keep the crying clenched behind his teeth. A painting that sobbed once. Twice.

"Astarion. Wake up."

Someone was touching his shoulder, which meant he was about to be dragged up and braced against the desk. And no, please no, please not yet. He was supposed to have a circle and a half more of bearable pain before that. Before the pretty nested bowls of Amn-make were filled with salt and horror. Before fleeting wounds became permanent scars. Before he became art that didn't talk but did scream and scream and scream.

"You're not there. Ancunin. Sunshine. Astarion. Wake up."

This can be read as a standalone, but is best enjoyed as the third part of a story that starts with Kindness Is Quiet And Bright.

Full text below.

Full Text On AO3

The hands were wrong. They weren't moving him or cutting him. The voice was wrong. Much, much to soft. And he was lying down, not kneeling. And the room was too dark and small, and there was someone else, looming up on his other side and speaking.

"What's wrong?" this voice was deeper. And there were more hands, and hands could do terrible things.

"Don't TOUCH me," he hissed.

Immediately no one was touching him. Immediately there was more space. He had space to think. Collect his scattered, jagged thoughts. Space was good and when something was good he wanted more. He scrambled back until his back hit the headboard of a bed. He was in a bed. A bed in a room in the upstairs of the Elfsong Tavern.

Context reassembled itself as memories faded. Bed in the corner furthest from the entrance. Bed with Tav, who was sitting a few feet of mattress away from him, looking at him with a wary, unhappy expression that he used to think was pity. Bed next to Halsin, who was crouched up from the floor. Because he slept on a bedroll on the floor next to the actual bed. Not for depraved reasons, no that would be too normal, but because apparently druids were allergic to comfort. And probably also there was something insipidly romantic about wanting to be protective and close to them, but Halsin hadn't mentioned that reason out loud because he knew what Astarion would think of it.

The rest of the room was a gray haze of shadow. Gale was the next closest companion--still audibly asleep behind a wooden privacy partition. The center room was empty and still. The far door was closed. Nothing was moving. Nothing was there, at least that he could see.

Awareness of himself came after Astarion understood his surroundings. He was shaking. Mostly his hands because some stopgap reflex meant that even now he was trying to hold his body as still as possible. He was breathing in hitched, thready gasps. He should stop. Breathing was a graceless habit in a vampire.

No. He hated that thought. It wasn't his thought. But it was planted in his mind deeper than the tadpole. And thinking like that made it feel like Cazador was close. Gods, he was close. They were in the city. And it was dark, and terrible things happened in the dark.

The night felt like it was yawning around him, filled with all of those horrible possibilities.

"No. Wait," he whispered, changing his mind. "Touch me."

They moved carefully and slowly, which made Astarion feel both grateful and like he wanted to scream at them. Tav slid closer and reached out. Astarion gave her his hand and she started tracing her thumb up and down his palm. And that was fine. That was fine.

Halsin shifted until he crouched by the head of the bed, which put him about on level with Astarion because the man was a giant. He ran knuckles gently back and forth over Astarion's forearm, and then up to his shoulder and down again. This was probably what he did to calm down horses, but whatever. It was fine. It meant Astarion wasn't alone in the dark.

Tav leaned closer, like she was about to whisper some sweet nothing into his ear.

"He's going to die," Tav told him. And that was sweet indeed, and she said it with a delicious sort of certainty. Like she was telling a story that had already happened.

"We are going to kill him," she continued. "We are going to chop his fucking head off. We're going to cut off all his limbs. Twice. Normal murder and then special coffin murder. We're going to kill him. You can kill him yourself, or someone else can kill him for you. We'll see how you feel in the moment."

Astarion nodded. He liked that. When choices were laid out like that. Though, of course, he'd want to kill Cazador. Of course he would. It was going to be wonderful.

Halsin had this thing he did where any contact with the man tended to meander towards an embrace. It was like slight of hand, only with his whole body and you were the coin. But he was being unsubtle about it right now, because both he and Tav were both being so damnably careful. And instead of just starting the legerdemain he paused his hand on Astarion's upper arm, squeezed and pulled ever so slightly. An invitation of a movement.

And there was a sting of dread that Astarion felt all along his spine, because having the space under his shoulder squeezed was something like having his shoulder grabbed, and being pulled into an embrace was something like being dragged on to a table. Maybe it would have been fine if Halsin had begun without that touch of warning, sometimes it was easier not to have a choice, but then again maybe it wouldn't have. Astarion knew he could say something. With a word he could have them both scattering and distant. Treating him like spun glass again. But he didn't want that. All the things he wanted and didn't want were tangled. Pain and longing matted together.

And if he talked about it, then this would become a conversation, and he could barely manage thinking in complete sentences right now, nevermind giving them to other people. And if he talked about it every time something upset him, he would literally do nothing else ever except for that. And Halsin was already moving on, going back to long strokes along Astarion's arm. Which was fine. Apparently vampire spawn were enough like horses that he liked that quite a bit, actually.

Tav had stopped talking and Astarion missed it. It felt a little like she'd stopped a story only halfway done, interrupted by something. But she still had his hand, so she was still there, and that was enough. And the idea of being held was transforming in Astarion's mind from something fraught into something that it was completely intolerable that he couldn't have immediately. So the next time the very slight pull came from Halsin's side, near his elbow this time, Astarion let himself be drawn down from the soft bed onto a still-relatively-soft druid.

Tav followed him down, retaining possession of Astarion's hand as Halsin cradled the rest of his body. Astarion's hands were still shaking, but less now. This was fine. This was nice. Being held, but not pressed. People who smelled alive and hands that felt warm and weren't holding anything sharp.

"You know who else we're going to kill?" Tav said, starting up again where she'd left off.

"Godey," Astarion said. He hadn't meant to hiss again, but that's how the name came out.

"Yeah." Tav nodded. "We are going to murder the fuck out of Godey. We're going to break every bone in his body. Crush his skull like a cheap vase. And then we're going to take the pieces and feed them to Scratch."

"No," objected Astarion. Scratch deserved nicer bones than that. Tav understood and amended immediately.

"Feed them to angry dire wolves," she offered. "Throw them in the ocean."

"That one," Astarion chose.

Tav went on rubbing lines up and down his palm and saying good things.

"Gale and Shadowheart know Daylight, and I'm carrying scrolls," she told him. "We have six flasks of holy water. Halsin has the druid bright and glowy spell. What is it?"

"Moonbeam," Halsin supplied, a gentle rumbling word from above Astarion's head.

"Moonbeam," Tav repeated. "Which does not make as much satisfying thematic sense as Daylight, but we don't care because it's going to burn. You've told us everything we need to know. We have fire and lightening for minions. We have counterspells to lock down magic bullshit."

"He." Astarion started, because he genuinely did not remember if he'd mentioned this. "Has people. Creatures. For abductions."

"We have normal alarms and magic alarms," Tav told him. "Also Wyll is awake downstairs and he will Blade of the Frontiers all over anyone who tries to skulk in."

All right. Astarion probably had mentioned it then. He found that he didn't even mind the knowledge that Wyll was being heroic about something. It landed different, when Wyll was being heroic about him.

Halsin shifted, reaching forward to fold Tav in to his embrace. She was also susceptible, given history one might even say particularly vulnerable, to Halsin's gravitational tendency to turn any contact into a hug. They all ended up a tangle of closeness. It should have been untenable, the man's arms were only so big, but Tav was very cooperative as Halsin slotted arms and folded over legs and made the situation somehow comfortable. His competencies were sometimes baffling.

Astarion could tell that Halsin was about to talk before it happened. Breathing people telegraphed it so loudly, and it was even more obvious while leaning against his chest.

"You are not going to be alone until he is destroyed," Halsin said.

Astarion had a general policy of discouraging such insipid declarations. But he didn't feel like doing that right now. Maybe he did respond. Possibly he'd just made some sort of noise. Whatever.

Astarion's hands had stopped shaking entirely. Adrenaline was dispersing into a weary awareness that it was the middle of the night, and nowadays that was when he slept.

Halsin started shifting again and he and Tav contrived to move the entire assembly horizontal. Astarion did not participate overmuch. He ended up bracketed between bard and druid. And that was fine. Good even. Though there was one thing that bothered him.

"Why are we on a bedroll?" Astarion groused. "There are beds. We paid two hundred gold to have beds."

"He's complaining," rumbled Halsin. "He must feel better."

"Hooray," said Tav, and her face was nuzzled so close under Astarion's chin that he could actually feel her smile. "Halsin engineered it. I'm a witness. We should blame him."

"I do," Astarion told her. "For many things."

Halsin responded by squeezing them. And there were thousands of terrible memories in Astarion's head of bodies being pressed together, but somehow none of them seemed reminiscent of this. It was entirely unlike anything that used to happen in the dark.

And that was fine. And that was good. Perhaps even wonderful.

***

This is the start of a series. The rest of the story is on AO3.

***

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x halsin #astarion x tav x halsin #halsin x astarion #nightmares #hurt/comfort #mostly comfort at this point #but also accepting that comfort is difficult

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aladaylessecondblog · 5 months

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Give me a scene where Astarion, wanting to be ascended, makes that little "I should have made you a spawn" remark and only realizes he fucked up when he sees Tav is utterly terrified

Tav's faced everything without fear, but this is different.

Maybe they're an eternal optimist but this is the thing that shattered it

Anyway you won't see Astarion around camp for a few days/a long rest or two/or something

And he doesn't say anything at first when he does come back but he definitely notices a lack of jokes/smiles/etc

If you're also in with Halsin he won't be in the mood for any sexytimes, he'll just say "that isn't what you need right now"

Tav could also choose to say nothing to anyone about this (which will make Astarion feel even worse)

#I thought bg3 was too complicated for me to write shit for #but i said the same thing about game of thrones #astarion #halsin #astarion x tav x halsin #halsin x tav #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #tav #bg3 tav

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irrevocably-delicious · 27 days

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It’s gonna be a long visit.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 tav #astarion ancunin #tavstarion #halsin #halsin x tav #astarion x tav #astarion x halsin #halsin x astarion #astarion x tav x halsin #Elyon #my art

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have-a-treato · 7 months

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petition to call Halsin x Astarion x Tav hat

#nonsense #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #astarion #tav #halsin x astarion x tav #astarion x tav x halsin #bg3 fanfic

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leighsartworks216 · 6 months

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Hi not a request, rather a question. What are your thoughts on the Astarion x Tav x Halsin poly? Like, I’m just curious if you headcanon Astarion as being more open, or if he’s secretly (or not so secretly) possessive and would rather not share.

I think it depends on where he is in his arc. I mean, in-game the response he has to Halsin's preposition changes. But I think that the changes actually display his character really well

I think before Cazador, when he's been surviving instead of living, to have this one ray of light that sees the good in him and supports him and respects him is so powerful that he does get insecure and protective. He's worried he's no longer good enough for them, not providing enough for them to continue to be with him. At that point, I don't think he's at all comfortable with an open/poly relationship

After Cazador, though, when he chooses to live his life now that he's free, he's a bit more self-assured. I don't think he's still 100% without his doubts and insecurities - I think he'd still worry Tav is seeking pleasure elsewhere because he cannot provide (bc of his trauma) or isn't 100% comfortable with providing (bc of his trauma). But I think, too, he learns to trust them more. Trust they're really trying to help him be better, and trusting that they aren't with him because of some falsehood or anything like that

I do think Astarion is sort of okay with being in a poly relationship, overall. He can understand there are things he cannot provide his partner, and if they wish to seek that out with someone he can also trust and that shares an equal respect with him, he's okay with it. I can even see, as a relationship goes on, him trying to put himself out there again, trying to provide his partner or partners pleasure and learn to receive it. But, like with the drow twins, two at once is probably overwhelming. So, baby steps. For him, anyway. As long as he is sure his partner(s) still like him and still want to be with him despite his struggles, I think he'd enjoy it

Plus more people to discover non-sexual intimacy with babeyyy bring on the cuddle sandwiches

#i also know this was specifically a poly w halsin #but i feel like this carries over to any third partner #astarion #halsin #tav #astarion x halsin #astarion x tav #halsin x astarion #halsin x tav #astarion x tav x halsin #halsin x tav x astarion #baldur's gate 3

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aethes-bookshelf · 4 months

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we promised we'd save you || astarion/tav/halsin

This chapter took me way longer than I expected it to. I had to finish my biggest commission to date a few weeks after posting part one. It seems it took a lot out of me ^^"

But! I promised comfort, I deliver comfort. I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Astarion/Tav/Halsin

Warnings: implied/referenced past character death, hurt/comfort (mostly comfort)

Wordcount: 1.3k

Summary: The first thing Tav felt was pain.

ao3 link || part 1

When they came back, Halsin carrying Tav’s dead body, stunned silence washed over the camp. The entire time the party knew Tav, they seemed indestructible. Larger than life, powerful and confident. But now, with their limbs limply swaying with Halsin’s movements, they looked like a little doll; fragile and lifeless..

Their skin was much, much paler than usual, dirty with dried blood and grime. They weren’t wearing their armor; it might have been lost or destroyed at the bhaalist temple. Without their shoulder guards they seemed so much smaller, dwarfed by Halsin’s broad shoulders.

‘What happened?’ said Wyll, eyes wide.

‘Orin happened,’ said Karlach. She had a look of grim determination on her face. ‘Where’s the skeleton?’

* * *

The first thing Tav felt was pain. Every single muscle in their body ached with that deep, crushing kind of pain that made even the slightest movement hell. Their head wasn’t doing any better. Their pulse pounded in their skull, each beat of their heart bringing an uncomfortable sensation in their temples. They were parched, their throat so dry and tight they were sure it would start bleeding at any moment.

They were hurting all over. But if they were hurting, that meant they were alive.

That realization slammed them right back into themself. The last thing Tav remembered before everything went black was being thrown onto the sacrificial altar in the middle of the bhaalist temple.

Tav opened their eyes. Above them was the fabric of their tent — they were back at camp. They were back at camp! Relief flooded their system. Their friends must have come for them before it was too late.

Granted, they couldn’t really move much because of the pain, but it probably wasn’t anything a bit of healing magic couldn’t fix. And a little pain was to be expected after whatever the hell Orin did to them. They would manage with a few more healing potions and Shadowheart’s help.

Tav groaned at the ache as they tried to adjust their legs under the covers. A puff of white hair suddenly came into their vision. It disappeared almost immediately when someone crashed into their chest with a relieved sob. Tav made a short, pained sound.

‘Shit,’ Astarion hissed and reluctantly moved away. He settled for holding Tav’s hand instead. ‘You made me forget myself there, my sweet.’

‘Oh, I’m sure you must’ve been so worried,’ Tav said, their voice teasing and hoarse. They squeezed Astarion’s hand just a little bit tighter; he squeezed back. ‘Still, there’s no need to break my ribs over it, is there?’

Astarion was strangely silent for a beat too long. Tav tried to rise to get a better look at his face but decided against it after the pain pushed them back into their bedroll. ‘What, no witty banter? Are you okay, love?’

That made Astarion snort, unamused. ‘It’d be quite hard for me to be okay after you went and quite literally died on me.’

It was Tav’s turn to go silent. ‘...What do you mean “died”?’ They said after a few moments.

‘I mean “died”.’ He sounded annoyed. Still, his voice shook all the same. ‘You… you died. Orin killed you.’

‘Oh.’ Tav cleared their throat. They refused to let the true weight of that statement reach them. ‘Well, then I’m glad you brought me back. Though we’ll probably have to restock on scrolls of revivify. We’d been running low for a while now, anyway.’

‘See, that’s the thing,’ Astarion had to grab onto the fabric of his pants to stop his hand from shaking, ‘we couldn’t bring you back. We tried the scrolls, they…’ He swallowed, grief thick in his throat. ‘They wouldn’t work. We had to rush you to that blasted skeleton. For a moment I thought I’d…’

…lost you.

Astarion couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. He felt as if he was on the brink of a cliff, staring down a bleak, lonely future. He’d rather not think about what his life would be like if Tav had not come back to him.

Tav wished to sit up and cradle Astarion to their chest. But they couldn’t; and they cursed all the gods, devils and hells for it.

‘Lovely, look at me,’ they said instead.

Astarion did as they asked. He was trying very hard not to cry again; he wasn’t sure if he had any tears left to spare.

‘I’m here now, okay? I’m still here.’ They tried to give Astarion a reassuring smile, but it came out as a weak grimace. He smiled back anyway.

‘I know, love. And am I not grateful for it,’ Astarion said, quietly. He wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand. ‘Give me a moment, I have to tell Halsin you’re okay.’

‘Is he alright?’

‘He’ll be now.’

The tent fell into silence when Astarion left it. Tav’s world shrank down to the pull of their muscles and the pounding in their head.

They died. Almost for good this time. The reality of that crashed down on them so suddenly they felt like they couldn’t breathe.

But they were still here. Was Orin dead then? Did the rescue party get her Netherstone? What of Gortash? Had any progress been made while they were out of it? Just how long had they been out of it?

Their racing thoughts stopped when the flaps of their tent parted and both of their lovers came in. Halsin rushed to their side, worry clear on his face.

‘My heart!’ He was by their side in an instant. He grabbed their hand, just as Astarion had before, and planted a kiss on it. He held it to his face like a drowning man would hold a piece of driftwood.

‘Hi,’ Tav smiled. ‘Glad to be back in the land of the living.’ They could taste the copper tang of blood in the back of their mouth.

Astarion settled next to Halsin and put a hand on his shoulder. ‘It’s okay, you big oaf,’ he said, doing his best to sound exasperated, ‘they’re okay.’

‘You say it as if you, too, haven’t been beside yourself with worry.’

Astarion scoffed. ‘Yes, yes, the pot calling the kettle black and all that.’ Despite his tone, Astarion’s eyes, locked on Halsin, remained soft.

Halsin rested his and Tav’s intertwined hands in his lap. ‘How are you feeling, my heart?’

‘Like I just died,’ Tav said, in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘Everything hurts, I can’t really move.’

Halsin’s brow creased with worry. ‘Let me.’ He lifted his free hand and passed it over Tav’s body. The soothing coolness of healing magic did away with some of their pain.

Relief must have been clear on Tav’s face; Astarion perked up almost instantly. ‘I take it you’re feeling better already, aren’t you?’

‘I suppose I do,’ Tav adjusted their legs under the covers, this time without most of the pain. ‘I wager I’ll be up and about soon enough.’

‘You should rest for a few more days at least,’ Halsin’s voice was firm. Tav suspected there would be no changing his mind.

‘I know, I know.’ They sighed, bored already. ‘And thank you for the healing spell, honey.’

Halsin smiled. ‘The pleasure is mine, my heart.’

‘How long was I out?’

‘Almost a week,’ said Astarion. His head was resting on Halsin’s shoulder. The druid laid his free hand on the vampire’s lap. ‘None of the others knew what to do without you.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t, either.’

‘None of us did.’ Halsin sighed. ‘Until now,’ he said and gave Tav a look so full of pure, unfiltered adoration they had to look away for a moment.

‘Until now,’ whispered Astarion.

‘Rest, my love.’ Halsin’s voice was warm and soft. ‘We’ll be here, watching over you.’

Tav nodded and closed their eyes. Sleep came for them quickly.

Their head was no longer pounding.

#astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x halsin #halstarion #bloodbear #hurt/comfort #my writing #bg3 #astarion x tav x halsin #astarion x reader x halsin #halsin x tav #halsin x reader

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astarionmademewriteit · 4 months

Text

The Lovers

Spawn!Astarion x Durge f!Tav x Halsin (Minor role)

Cycles between Astarion and Tav POV

Rating: Mature themes (No smut)

Wordcount: 9.4k (Long one-shot)

Tags: Many many Act 3 spoilers, violent images, torture, self-loathing, depression, refusing to eat, eluding to SA, codependency, hurt/comfort, angst, blood drinking, injuries, brief mentions of sex (if you squint). If I missed a tag, let me know.

Summary: What started as a great day at the Circus of the Last Days ends with Astarion gaining insight from a fortune teller into his future as the ascendant vampire and Tav as Bhaal’s chosen. Astarion decides to face Cazador alone and keeps it a secret from Tav–slipping into the night and leaving only a small note. Halsin is there, promising to watch over Tav. However, Tav suffers in his absence (sometimes lashing out at Halsin), but Astarion knows it is better than the alternative–their collective demise and the loss of love.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

The Circus of the Last Days was teeming with excitement and laughter, children with face paint ran rampant through the grounds, weaving through the stalls where merchants yelled at passersby looking to make a pretty copper. Other stalls tried to sell the promise of financial abundance with the spin of a wheel, but it was all too easy for me to see they were rigged to steal money from the pockets of the idiotic. Their tactful manipulation is reminiscent of the days I spent as Cazador’s puppet, luring people in with the luxury of pleasure beyond their wildest imaginations.

It was not a bad business strategy, to be sure. But stealing straight from the pockets of the unaware was a quicker solution to our financial needs. I look towards Tav, watching the way her eyes scanned the crowd with quiet excitement. A smile plays on my lips. After all the danger we have faced, the chaotic nature of our adventures has not dimmed the light in her eyes–the happiness that paints her aura in such beautiful vibrant colors.

I wish the same could be said for myself. I can practically feel the looming shadow of the Szarr palace on the horizon, its threatening presence taunting me at every turn–reminding me of the centuries of pain, torment, and abuse Cazador subjected me to. My fists tighten, and I try to steady my breathing lest I spiral into a dark and violent rage–revenge feeding the anger that once laid dormant in the pit of my stomach. I can almost feel the sting of his blade carving his infernal contract into my back, blood slipping from my back in blooming rivulets where steel meets flesh. I grind my teeth at the memory.

“Astarion, look!” Tav squeals with childish glee snapping me out of my tortured reverie. Murderous as she was, her innocent nature overrode her violent tendencies in this moment. Her bloodlust replaced by the overwhelming need to momentarily forget our places in the world–the parts we were meant to play. I follow her gaze and spot a fortune teller’s tent nestled between two stalls selling enchanted jewelry and exotic furs, their claims of authenticity are laughable. To the untrained eye, one would easily fall for such fraudulent claims, but I knew better. Honestly, how this group would survive without my expertise was beyond me.

Tav closes the distance between us and looks up at me with rounded eyes and a pouty lip, “We should try it!” My mouth twitches, threatening to split my face in two.

“Darling,” I warn playfully, “Need I remind you that half these booths are wasteful ventures that we should avoid? We might as well throw our money in the garbage. Besides,” I drag a knuckle down her jawline to the base of her throat, “I’m the only one who should be draining you dry.” My words have their desired effect, her skin flushing–the smell of her blood carried on the warm breeze wafts to my nostrils. The elation I feel from her scent alone makes my mouth water.

A sharp raspy voice cuts through our moment, “You. Vampire.” I snap my head towards the fortune teller’s tent, a wrinkled decrepit woman leers at me with glassy eyes. Her long robes draped to the ground and her back is hunched painfully behind her, diminishing her height by at least a foot.

“In the flesh,” I bow sarcastically in her direction. Uncertainty washes through my entire body and I feel Tav stiffen at my side.

“We have much to discuss regarding your future,” She murmurs, her voice grates my ears in the most unpleasant ways.

I sneer, “I doubt you have anything worthwhile to spew, hag,” I growl coldly. I wasn’t about to fall for her thieving tricks. Our gold would be better spent elsewhere.

She wheezes out a laugh, “You will pay a heftier price without my help.” It’s as if she has read my mind. Probably just another party trick meant to lure people into spending money they do not have. However, something tugs at the back of my mind–warning me that she is true to her word.

Halsin moves to my side and places a burly hand on my shoulder, the weight only adding to my own doubts, “Hear the woman out, my heart,” he whispers, “I sense no deception from her.” Tav is nodding her head in agreement, her eyes wide with apprehension and anxiety, and I groan at their collective consensus. It was almost annoying having two people intent on drowning me with their unconditional care. Almost.

After a moment of quiet contemplation, I finally give in, “Fine, my dears,” I huff unenthusiastically, “But I expect to be showered in apologies when I come back empty-handed,” I roll my eyes.

Halsin chuckles behind me, “Don't worry, my Star. Everything will be alright.”

“We'll be here, waiting for you,” Tav says on my other side, giving me a reassuring squeeze on the arm and a light kiss on the cheek.

I gulp and swallow my pride before entering the witch's tent. Incense wafts through the air, sending tendrils of smoke curling to the sky. Various charms hang from the walls and the shelves are littered with trinkets, tomes, and dead creatures in jars of liquid. It is all very pedestrian.

“Spawn,” the hag’s grotesque voice rings through the air snapping me out of my reverie, “Save your judgements for the future,” she gestures at an empty chair across from her, divided by a small table with a crystal ball centered in the middle. Her consistent peek into my thoughts was unnerving but not unexplainable considering the wall of potions seated behind her against the back of the tent. She most likely used a mind-reading potion. It felt more invasive than a stake in the ribs, to be fair.

I cautiously take a seat across from the hag, impatience brimming on my tongue, “Let’s just get this little performance over with.” I roll my eyes and take a relaxed pose, watching the hag expectantly.

“I can assure you, dear Astarion, that this is no performance,” she pins me down with her glassy stare, “Devils whisper in my ear, speaking of your demise. I rather think you should hear me out.”

Her words sway me slightly, the promise of a devil should not be heeded lightly, nor the promise of one’s demise. I huff exasperatingly, “Fine, spin me your tale of the future.”

She smiles lightly before fishing in the pockets of her robe, pulling out an ambiguous vial of clear liquid and reaching across the table, offering the strange elixir with an open palm, “Drink and we may begin.”

I eye the vial cautiously, a putrid smell wafts through the air, promising bitterness on the tongue. I snatch the vial from her hand and drink before I can change my mind. I am doing this for Tav and Halsin if nothing else. The bitter liquid slides down my throat with ease, souring my stomach immediately. Warmth immediately washes over me, rivaling the warmth I feel when drinking from the necks of my partners.

My head begins to swim as magic rolls through my body in thick undulating waves, threatening to pull me under. I steady myself, gripping the side of the table in front of me for support as I ride out the arcane sensation.

“Peer into the crystal ball, Astarion,” the witch commands, “I have much to reveal.”

I focus my eyes on the object in front of me, the crystal ball that was once clear suddenly swims with visions too quick for me to latch on to. The dizzying effects of the elixir begin to subside ever so slightly, and the images in the crystal ball begin to slow, flashing images of Cazador carving scars into my back with agonizing precision. I wince at the memories, feeling the sharp pain of torture carving into my back.

“Your former master, Cazador, has made an infernal pact with a devil it seems,” the hag rasps pragmatically.

“Yes, yes,” I huff through gritted teeth, ignoring the searing pain of my scars, “I already know he plans to complete the Rite of Profane Ascension. Tell me something I don’t know.” I ball my hands into fists, wishing to forget the torture Cazador put me through that night and willing away other, darker thoughts of being sequestered in a tomb–a year of darkness and pathetic attempts of escape.

The image of my scars reflected in the crystal ball dissipate and are replaced by images of my former targets–people I willingly lured to Cazador in the hopes that he would not punish me again, but instead finding new forms of punishment through using my body in ways that I would never have consented to if I hadn’t been chained to his power. Something is different about the victims that stare at me through the curved glass, their eyes are blood-red now, familiar scars mark their bodies, and they suffer behind gilded bars under the Szarr palace.

“Your targets still breathe, newly changed, serving as a blood sacrifice. Seven thousand souls writhe beneath the floors, facing their inevitable death.”

“T-they’re alive? But–how?” I manage to sputter, utterly bewildered by the information and the painful reality that has just been set before me. They have suffered decades–no, centuries–beneath the palace. I thought they were dead. They should be dead. But–why? Then the truth hits me like a ton of bricks. Their souls will be exchanged for his ascension. Not just seven spawn, but seven thousand souls. It takes all my strength to keep from collapsing onto the floor in anguish. This cannot be happening. Cazador has played me for such a fool. Anger wells in my chest and I have to restrain myself from throwing the crystal ball across the room.

“Control yourself, spawn” the hag eyes me cautiously, “the truth of your future has yet to be revealed.”

I suddenly feel as if I want to empty all the contents of my stomach onto the floor as the bitter taste of the elixir dances across my tongue. What more could there possibly be? Was I even prepared to face it?

Before I have time to decide, the images shift yet again. A vague shape takes form, and the person in the crystal ball stares back at me with a familiar gaze. It takes me a moment to realize that I am looking at myself, but it only feels like a stranger staring back at me. Tav enters the frame and stands next to me, a worried expression painted across her features. My eyes look crazed and hungry for something more. I look at the hag for clarity, but she urges me to keep watching.

The images shift again, and I am standing over Cazador’s bruised body. He cowers below me as I grip a dagger in my hand. Suddenly, I am barking orders directed at Tav, pleading with her to connect our tadpoles so that I can copy the scars from my back into Cazador’s flesh.

Relief washes over me as I realize that everything I have been fighting for would be worth it if my future promised my own ascension in my former master’s place. His body, the bodies of my brothers and sisters, and the targets I lured to the palace disintegrate into ashy piles as power flows through my body, centered in the middle of the bloody Black Mass. Revenge never looked so sweet.

“Do not forget yourself, Astarion,” the hag breaks me from my concentrated stare, “You will lose your soul too.”

I take a moment before answering, “That is not an unreasonable transaction, especially if it means I become powerful enough to protect myself and the ones I care about. Nobody would harm me ever again,” I lean back and cross my arms over my chest, the tension from earlier melting away as I sit with this new reality.

The witch eyes me wearily before continuing, “You seem so concerned with protecting Tav from danger, but who will protect her from you?” She waves her hand over the crystal ball, willing the previous images of the ritual away and replacing them with images of Tav. Her vermillion eyes are illuminated, watching me with practiced reverence. Puncture wounds scar her neck, and her movements are sharper and more precise. So, she would allow me to turn her if it meant spending eternity with me. A small smirk plays on my lips.

“I hardly see how her becoming a vampire is any consolation,” I bark with renewed arrogance.

“Not a vampire,” the hag replies sharply, “a spawn. Forever a slave–bending to your will.”

I brush off her remark, “I would never treat her as Cazador treated me. Do not act like you know the first thing about me.”

An amused grin pulls at the corners of her crusted lips, “Your soul says that now, but do not forget that you sacrifice that and so much more by choosing this path.”

I roll my eyes and focus on the crystal ball once again. Reflecting back at me are the same eyes I’ve come to adore, but now they look pained and resentful as they stare back at me. I falter momentarily, and if my heart were still alive, it would die all over again.

“W-well,” I stammer, back-pedaling slightly, “I’m sure the power dynamic would be…unsavory. But I’m confident Tav would still find it in her heart to love me,” I whisper, trying to convince myself rather than the hag. I continue to watch as darkness shrouds the eyes of my beloved and I begin to feel less sure of myself with every passing second.

“A vampire’s greatest threat is another vampire,” the hag recites, mirroring the words I uttered not long ago, “The love you have cultivated will be nothing more than ash in your mouth,” she warns.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat but remain silent. “You will set Tav down a dark path of her own should you choose to ascend,” her words do not falter at this admission, and I know she speaks the truth.

As if to solidify her words, the images shift yet again. Now Tav stands before the bloodied walls of Bhaal’s underground temple, Orin dead at her feet. She is faced with an avatar of her father, and she kneels before him accepting her fate as his chosen. The promise of carnage and violence flits through her eyes as she transforms into a grotesque slayer, her features warped by the bloodied maw of the beast, all emotion siphoned from her eyes as murderous intent envelopes her completely.

All words on my tongue fall away as I stare at all she has become–everything she has valiantly resisted now a distant memory…an empty promise that echoes of slaughter. “She..” I choke out the words, “She accepts her fate as Bhaal’s chosen if I ascend?” I peered up at the hag, wishing I could wipe the smugness from her wrinkled face.

“Truly a terrifying couple,” she rasps, “reviled by all… and resented by one another.”

I look down in shock as the images twist grotesquely into a new picture. My powers wash through Tav’s body, forcing her to act against her will. I force myself to watch, even though I wish very badly to tear my eyes from the horrible images. Tav grips a dagger, hanging still in the air as if frozen in time, inches away from piercing my heart... So, I will drive her to murderous rage, so much so that she would willingly kill me. The love that once hung between us is now non-existent as hate fills her eyes.

So, this is what's to come… Unimaginable power at the expense of my soul… Tav’s soul… and the budding love that lies between us. The promise of death and murder the last thread tying us together.

I stare dumbfounded as the new revelation washes over me, more powerful than Cazador’s power imbuing me with his will.

“This cannot be…” I whisper, my hands trembling at my sides. My body racks with pain as I continue to watch. The bloody future unfolds before me as our bodies lay lifeless beside one another. Our inevitable demise ends at the hands of one another, effectively destroying the trust and mutual care we have built together… between each other. The images fade to black, leaving a deep-seated wound in my heart.

“This,” the hag gestures towards the now empty crystal ball, “is to be your fate, if you so choose.”

I sit frozen, too stunned to speak. Tears threaten to flood my eyes and anger washes through my body with agonizing intensity. “Why,” I ask through gritted teeth, “Why show me all this?” My words now sting with acid, “Why, help me?” I stand suddenly, knocking the table off kilter.

The hag grabs the crystal ball before it has a chance to shatter on the floor. A part of me wishes it had, as if that would undo the future it laid before me. She eyes me sternly before reaching into her robes once again and retrieving a card. She hands it to me, and I reach out and snatch it from her hands, letting anger control my limbs.

The card is decorated with a kaleidoscope of colors and gold foil, its design is ostentatious and obtrusive. I flip it over to find an image of two bodies romantically entwined and the phrase “The Lovers” embellished along the bottom. I look at the hag, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Because…” she says after a moment of contemplation, “I wish someone had extended the same courtesy to me when I was younger.”

I simply stared at her, half wondering what she had experienced to end up in a place like this. I lower the card on the table and turn to leave. I hover just before the exit and turn my head, “This… is a gift you know. I will never forget it.” I drop a satchel of gold on a nearby table before exiting the tent without another word, steeling myself to face Tav.

Should I tell her? I think it would be unwise, but guilt wracks my body as I see the look of pure love that adorns her face when she catches sight of me. Her features are now covered in face paint, and I cannot hide my own amusement. But it feels shallow, the weight of my future encumbers me and every step I take towards Tav…every second I look into her beautiful eyes is just another reminder of what she could become–of what I would enable.

I slip into my charming facade, choosing to hide the looming threat that hangs over my shoulders like a wraith clings to the shadows.

“Astarion!” Tav squeals excitedly, “What did she tell you?” Her body shivers with anticipation, and she hops enthusiastically on her heels as she waits patiently for my reply.

“Nothing of note, really,” I wave her off nonchalantly, “Just the usual propaganda a lonely wench spouts hoping to siphon money from her visitors.”

“Oh,” Tav looks down, disappointed, “Like what?”

“Finding love,” I say, lifting her chin with the tip of my finger. Her eyes find mine and light up at the prospect, “Accruing unimaginable wealth and happiness if I follow my dreams. That sort of thing,” the lie falls easily from my lips and I scold myself internally for resorting to shallow lies, especially where Tav is concerned. We have built a bond based on trust and consent. I have already tainted that bond by withholding the truth, depriving her of her right to know what the future holds.

I try to push down the guilt that rips through me, more painful than any injury I have sustained on our road to Baldur’s Gate thus far–and there were times I was close to death. But this pain is incomparable. Self-loathing starts to creep its way through my very bones, threatening to shatter my carefully rehearsed mask.

“Uh, darling” I say carefully, “I’m suddenly not feeling well. Perhaps we should head back to camp.”

Tav eyes me warily. I’m almost certain she knows that I am hiding something–her attunement to my many masks have sharpened over the months and I silently curse myself for being so predictable at this moment.

If she suspects anything, she makes no mention of it but agrees that we should head back to camp. Halsin promises to fashion some sort of tincture to soothe whatever ails me and I acquiesce, trying to widen the berth between me and their suspicion.

Back at camp I withdraw into my tent, pacing the small enclosure reminiscing on the words spoken by the witch. I was filled with dread and wracked with guilt. Tav's unconditional loyalty towards me would be nothing but a tool of manipulation I would use to seek power that I now realize should never belong to me, no matter how intensely I craved it as a means of protection.

I could be up front with Tav, but I knew she would urge me to face Cazador with her by my side–always the hero. The promise of power would be too much to turn down, like a shiny hook baiting a fish. Tav’s loyalty and unbreakable need to please me would prove an easy avenue for manipulation–something that would surely end with our inevitable demise. I couldn’t put myself in a position to force her hand, and I absolutely could not put Tav in a position to accept her own dark fate. Her love was the first good thing to happen to me in the centuries since I became a vampire, and it could be undone so easily. I could not let that happen, even if it meant facing Cazador alone.

It was the only way.

“Astarion,” Tav’s sweet voice filters through the tent, breaking me from my thoughts. She pulls back the flap of my tent after a moment and looks at me with caution in her eyes.

“Yes, my dear?” I slip back into my easy facade, knowing full well what needs to be done.

She closes the distance between us, careful not to touch me without permission. Always the astute observer. I smile softly at her, trying to repress the memories of her deadened eyes as they looked at me with resentment. That was not her. It would not be us.

“H-how are you feeling?” She shifts nervously, fully aware that something weighs heavy on my mind.

“Honestly? I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed. Arriving in Baldur’s Gate has stirred some… unpleasant memories.” It wasn’t a complete lie, just an omission of the entire truth.

“I understand,” She whispers carefully, “I’ll always be here when you need me. You won’t face this alone.” Determination fills her eyes and I know she wholeheartedly believes the words she speaks. I do too.

“Thank you, my love,” I whisper after a moment, my words painted with sincere gratitude. I don’t expect her to forgive me for what I’m about to do. But it is the only way I can protect her. I reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She gives me the strength to do the right thing.

Tav turns to leave but stops short and looks over her shoulder, “You can feed on me tonight, if you like.” My breath hitches in my throat. My attempt at selflessness falls short as she offers herself so freely to me. I knew it would be selfish of me to accept, knowing that I would vanish from camp while she unknowingly slept. But it could also be my best chance at surviving the encounter with Cazador. Would she forgive me if I made it out alive?

“I-I’ll…okay my dear,” my mask falters momentarily, “I’ll see you tonight. Thank you.” I bow my head with gratitude as she exits the tent.

As I wait for the sun to set, I fill my time with mindless reading around the campfire, searching through various texts that might provide useful information for the fight to come. I sift through a particularly dull tome when something falls from between the pages, fluttering to the ground like a feather being shed from a bird.

For a moment I look at the object, completely bewildered by what lay at my feet. I reach down and pick up the card. The words “The Lovers” are inscribed across the bottom edge. The witch’s tarot card stares back at me as if to taunt me. “What in the nine hells,” I whisper to myself.

“What’s the matter, my heart?” Halsin’s booming voice echoes behind me, and I spin on my heels, quickly tucking the card in my pocket.

“Oh Halsin! My dear, you startled me,” I laugh nervously, “Actually, there’s something I need to confess. I trust you will understand and assist me in this one thing.” Although our relationship is newer, I trusted Halsin with my life, and Tav’s life. I know he will watch over her while I am away–however long that might be. Hopefully not forever.

“Of course,” Halsin’s face softens, “I shall lend you an ear.”

I pull Halsin to my tent discreetly, eyeing Tav across camp as she accompanies Gale while he cooks.

I quickly relay all that the witch showed me, Halsin’s face falling with concern when I deliver the horrid news. A small weight was lifted from my shoulders at the confession.

“That is concerning,” Halsin whispers, “How are you feeling?” he reaches out and caresses my cheek tenderly.

I laugh sarcastically, “Not well, as you might imagine. That is why I need you to watch over Tav while I slip out of camp and face Cazador alone.” The weight of my words causes Halsin to still.

“Astarion,” his voice shaky, “You’re certain this is the only way? What if–” his sentence dies on his lips, too difficult to utter the very words that haunt me as well.

“I have to try,” I whisper after a moment, “Even if it means I won't make it back,” speaking the words aloud suddenly makes them feel real. It was a possibility I would die and Cazador succeeded in completing the ritual. But I was out of options.

“Tav will be devastated,” Halsin’s concerned tone washes over me, only adding to my fears.

“Yes, well,” I laugh nervously, “It is better than the alternative. I am sure you would agree.” I pause before continuing, knowing the next part will be difficult for him to swallow, “She cannot know where I’ve gone–this is important, Halsin. She will follow me, and all of this will be for naught. It’s… for her own good.”

After quiet contemplation Halsin agrees, “ She will not see it that way, Astarion, but I promise to do as you say, my Star. But you must make it back to us. A world without you would be unjust,” his voice breaks. I slip him a folded note and instruct him to give it to Tav once she notices my absence.

I smile and pull him in close, placing a soft kiss on his lips. His arms wrap around me protectively–an unsaid goodbye passes between us. I pull away before I can change my mind.

“Thank you, Halsin. I will not forget what you have done for us,” I nod before exiting the tent. There was nothing left to say.

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✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

I search among our companions for Astarion. He has been particularly aloof this evening and I could not ignore the concern as it flooded through my veins. I knew that arriving on the doorstep of Baldur’s Gate would be difficult for him, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was avoiding me. If he wanted his space, I would respectfully take a step back while he sorted through his feelings, but I couldn't help but worry that he was spiraling into a dark void that would be impossible to pull him from. At what point do I step in? I tread a fragile line–one that could potentially cross over into territory that I wished to avoid at all costs if I wanted to carefully respect his boundaries.

Even still, something awful churned in my stomach–a sense of foreboding tugged at the recesses of my mind. I’ve learned to trust my intuitive nature. My life training in the Temple of Bhaal sharpened my instincts into a fine point that rivaled the very daggers we equipped ourselves with. However, even years of honing my mind will not assist in revealing what darkness lingers on the horizon, until it has fallen upon me. It’s blinding disruption, a promise that haunts me. If only it would reveal itself before it’s too late.

I look up to the sky, its domed shape spattered with twinkling stars, heckling me with false hope. If any gods could hear my silent prayers, they showed no sign of acknowledgement. Praying was a trivial pursuit, but it felt right in this moment, even if they went unanswered. I know not what lies ahead, but I knew it was not good.

“Quite the sight,” Astarion whispers from behind me, mirroring the hollow words he once spoke in the first few nights of our meeting. I spin around to find his vermillion eyes watching me with a careful expression, “You, I mean.” He whispers, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

I let out a breathy laugh, relief washing over me as his presence pulls me away from the impending dread that inhabits my body.

He opens his arms invitingly, ushering me into his cool embrace. I gladly comply, welcoming the feel of his body against mine. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me in tight, threatening to never let go.

“I missed you,” I whispered in his ear.

“I haven’t gone anywhere, darling,” he laughs quietly.

“I know. But every moment that I am away from you is more agonizing than the last.” His body stiffens at my truthful words and panic begins to settle in the pit of my stomach. I hope I haven't crossed a line. “Sorry,” I amend quickly, “I just enjoy your company.”

He pulls away, but keeps his arms firmly wrapped around my waist, his smile is soft, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, “You know I enjoy your company as well, darling. I fear I wouldn’t survive without it.” There was some underlying meaning to his words, but before I could inquire further, he pulled me in for a kiss.

I lace my fingers through his ivory curls–his touch melting away all the tension that burdened me only a moment before. His kiss steadily grows hungrier, his tongue slipping between my lips as he sought out my own. He sighs against me as our tongues slide against one another.

All too soon he pulls away, planting small kisses along my jaw and down my throat. The reverence laced in his kisses leave small confessions against my flesh.

“I’m going to turn in early tonight, my dear,” he whispers against my skin in between small kisses.

“Alright,” I whisper shakily, “Are you forgoing dinner tonight?”

His lips halt against my throat and he inhales deeply before pulling away and looking into my eyes with a worried expression, as if internally warring with himself.

“I–no,” he whispers after a moment, tearing his gaze away from me with a guilty expression. My deep-seated curiosity takes hold as I watch a wash of emotions cross his face, “I would like that very much.”

“O-okay,” I whisper suspiciously.

Before I can ask what burdens him, he pulls me to my tent and patiently waits for me to lie comfortably on my bedroll. What ensues feels less intimate than usual, and more of a formality. I let my questions die on my lips, chalking up his rigidity to the earlier confession he laid at my feet when I had visited him in his tent. I only wished he were comfortable and happy. He laps eagerly at the blood he pulls from my veins, taking his fill.

Once he was finished, he placed reassuring kisses along the puncture wounds that marked my throat as his. The camp had fallen quiet outside my tent, my companions choosing to rest their weary eyes on this early evening.

“Do you mind if I linger, until you find rest,” Astarion asks, a glimpse of vulnerability flashes across his sharp features.

“I would love nothing more,” I whisper, relieved. I quickly change into my bedclothes, Astarion’s eyes lingering on my form as I slip into something more comfortable.

I slide into my bedroll and Astarion pulls me in close, nuzzling his head into the crook of my shoulder. I wrap my arms tightly around him, lazily running my fingers through his silver curls with one hand and tracing words into the cold flesh of his back with the other, careful not to touch his sensitive scars.

“I could stay like this forever,” I admit into his well-manicured curls, his scent comforting me beyond reprieve.

Astarion lets out a tortured groan and holds me tighter, “Me too,” he finally confesses, “Me too, my love.”

His embrace eventually lulls me into a deep, dreamless slumber. His proximity stirred a deep sense of comfort within me that only reveals itself when he is near.

I did not feel as he carefully slipped into the night.

Beams of sunlight filter through the tent, bathing me in its gilded illumination. I wipe the sleep from my eyes, rolling over reaching out for Astarion. My hand lands on the empty bedroll. I frown, wishing he had stayed through the night.

Something savory wafts through the air and I can hear the sizzle of meat in a pan over the fire. Even as the inviting aroma assaults my senses, something stirs in the morning air. The camp is unusually quiet. By now, I should hear the excited lilt of Karlach’s voice–she was always a morning person. I should hear Gale delighting in telling stories of Waterdeep. I should hear Lae’zel sharpening her weapons, or Shadowheart reprimanding someone for being too reckless during battle. At the very least I should hear Astarion, his voice dripping with disdain at the breakfast we gorge ourselves on each morning, or the playful complaints of our current accommodations–sleeping in the dirt like commoners when there was a perfectly accommodating establishment in the Lower City.

Instead, silence creeps through my tent threatening to swallow me whole. Something stirs in the air, reminiscent of the dread I felt last night before Astarion approached me.

I quickly gather myself before exiting the tent, not even concerned with changing into day clothes. Immediately I see Halsin across camp, whispering to a huddle of companions. Their hushed tones not quite reaching my ears.

“What’s going on,” I immediately felt panic rise in my throat.

All the companions fall silent as they whip their heads towards me. I immediately note Astarion is not among them. But that wasn’t unusual. Their behavior, however, was.

The companions stared at me momentarily before falling into their usual routine ignoring the suspicious glare I sent their way like daggers in their backs.

“Good morning, Tav. You must be famished! Come grab yourself a plate. You look like you need sustenance,” Gale rambles. I watched him carefully but headed towards the fire anyway, the remnants from Astarion’s feeding last night left me feeling light-headed still.

I sit silently as I eat. The companions were careful in my presence, offering me kind words as if to distract me from something. Their diversion was obvious. I leave my food half-finished behind as I stomp towards Halsin. He watches me approach, his face unreadable but his eyes guarded.

“What the hell is going on, Halsin?” I demand, “Why is everyone acting so strangely?” I cock my hip to the side and cross my arms over my chest waiting for an explanation.

“Nothing slips through the cracks with you, my heart,” he laughs. It doesn’t reach his eyes and I know he is hiding something.

“Quit stalling, Halsin,” I snap. My temper was burning on a short fuse this morning, and even though I felt bad for snapping at Halsin, who has done nothing but show kindness and patience towards me, he was obviously keeping something from me.

“Perhaps, we should go to your tent and talk,” he places a large hand on the small of my back, but I whip away from him.

“No. We will talk here. Tell me, what is going on?” The camp falls quiet and alerts me that everyone, aside from me, knows what is happening.

Halsin falters, and I look around the camp searching for something out of place. What has made them so worried?

“Tav,” Halsin whispers with careful explication, “Astarion is gone.”

His words envelope me, and I stare in disbelief as they swirl around in my head. “Gone? What does that mean?”

He sighs and refuses to meet my gaze, “He left.”

Darkness threatens to overtake my vision as his words settle in the pit of my stomach like a stone falling to the bottom of a lake.

I spin on my heels and tear through Astarion’s tent. The emptiness that stares back at me feels like a slap in the face. I feel my breath quicken, threatening to send me into overdrive until I’m hyperventilating.

I storm out of his tent, “Where?” I whisper, my fists involuntarily balling at my sides as I try to control the bubbling anger that threatens to spill over into unbridled rage. All I can see is red.

Halsin walks towards me cautiously, the whole company trailing behind him with worried expressions painted across their faces, “My heart–”

“WHERE?” I yell, all patience evaporates from my body.

Halsin quietly pulls a piece of parchment from his pocket and hands it to me slowly. I snatch it and unfold it, scared of what I might read.

I stared at his elegant handwriting, unable to soak in the words that stared back at me. This tells me nothing other than Astarion was gone. He had intentionally left. But for what purpose?

I fold the note and head to my tent, quickly changing into clothes more suitable for travel. I need to take a walk.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

I spent the first couple of nights quietly scouting out the Szarr palace, watching as guards came and went. I hadn’t seen any of my brothers and sisters since I arrived at my discreet hiding place. I knew the city like the back of my hand, having spent years watching the city grow even when my purpose had stayed the same.

“Your only purpose is to lure back pretty things for your Master, boy,” Cazador’s words ricochet through my skull, “By any means necessary. Let them use you, gain their trust with your pretty words and face.”

I try to shake the words from my mind, but arriving on his doorstep only heightened the centuries of memories and torment. Long nights chained in the kennels with nothing but dead rats to sate my appetite flit through my mind. The painful bite of the whip as it bit into my flesh. My screams echoing through the palace, feeding the egos of my captors.

Your screams sound the sweetest.

I knew that returning to this godsforsaken place would be a painful reminder of what once was, but it was more difficult to face alone than I had previously planned. I caught myself on several occasions turning my head, thinking Tav was standing next to me–a habit that I had become more than accustomed to.

I try to shake my thoughts from Tav. I cannot imagine how angry she must be with me. If I dwell on it too long, I will abandon all control and run back to her with pleas of forgiveness falling from my lips.

I checked my inventory one last time, having stockpiled supplies, potions, and weapons. I was ready. I slip in, undetected, having done this thousands of times before–but never with murder on my mind.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

The nights were cold and agonizing. I could not sleep. My mind retraced our last day together. Something in Astarion’s demeanor had shifted after he visited the fortune teller. What had the witch said to him? I was almost certain that was the pivotal moment when things changed.

The day had gone by in a blur. I stormed from camp and walked through the streets of Baldur’s Gate, searching for a glimpse of my silver-haired vampire. My urges thrummed in my chest and diabolical whispers filled my ears–my anger igniting their hunger.

I interrogated as many people as I could–barkeeps, guards, and merchants. Some required a knife to the throat to cooperate. I was perpetually having to cool my blood and ignore thoughts of maiming during their interrogation. I scared even myself at times. However, no one had captured a glimpse of Astarion. I shouldn’t be surprised; he had perfected the art of slipping undetected through the city streets for centuries.

By the time I returned to camp empty-handed the first night, I was exhausted. Gale tried to push a plate of food in my hands, but I was too high-strung to eat. Halsin was persistent in checking on me as I lay in my tent while I tried to push down the tears that threatened to spill. I was on the precipice of shattering completely.

Then the anger started to settle in. I numbly traced the puncture wounds that marred my neck. The only evidence that Astarion still existed. I was angry at him for leaving. For drinking from my neck and lying with me in my tent before slipping into the night–never to be seen.

I was angry that he left without a clue as to where he was going. I could not help but wonder if he was going to face Cazador. But it didn’t make sense. He was adamant that he needed my help to face his old master. What would push him to go back? I was not sure I wanted to find out.

The yawning breadth of despair sits like a cavern where my heart once beat with elation in his presence. I was not sure how much longer I could entertain thoughts of him pulled back under Cazador’s control. Images of Astarion’s limp body under the Szarr palace plagued my thoughts. What if he had been captured? What if Cazador had sacrificed him and completed the ritual? But why would Astarion willingly stroll back into his own torment? I knew the answer. He wouldn’t. But the witch–she knew something.

After a restless night pacing through camp, I headed out on my own to the Circus of the Last Days, refusing the company of my companions. The witch would divulge what she knew. She was the only lead I had. I would force it from her if I had to.

My heart sank when I saw her tent was absent. The merchants that had sat on either side of her said she had packed her things and left just the day before. I grip the hilt of my dagger, anger surging through my veins as whispers of murder rang in my ears. I knew I was treading a dangerous path. My anger had become untethered, and my murderous nature boiled just below the surface, yearning to break free.

After long hours of wandering the streets, staking out the Szarr palace, and harassing people in the street, I return yet again empty-handed back to camp.

“My heart,” Halsin pulls me into a hug, brushing the hair from my face, “I know you are worried about him. I am too. But you must take care of yourself. You haven’t slept. You haven’t eaten. You are out all day long. Let me care for you.”

The past two days I had been drowning in my own guilt over the way I had snapped at Halsin. But my anger and determination to find Astarion overpowered any rational thought.

“The thought of living normally… Taking care of myself… feels wrong when he is out there somewhere,” Halsin gently runs his fingers through my tangled hair, trying his best to comfort me. “Why?” I choke, “Why would he leave? I don’t understand.” A tear slips from my eyes, and I can no longer hold back my despair. I cried into Halsin’s shoulder. My sobs echoed through the camp. I didn’t care who witnessed it.

Halsin continues to comfort me. He helps me slip into my night clothes and brushes my hair, ushering me to put something in my stomach. I nibbled on a small piece of Waterdhavian cheese, but it tasted like ash in my mouth. I realize that all the luxuries of life–all the magic that one could find in the small mundane things, such as the taste of food or the vibrant colors of the city, did not matter if Astarion was not there to experience it with me.

Halsin brewed me some tea, promising that it would help me sleep. He offers to stay with me, but I regrettably turn him away, electing to be alone with my thoughts. With my despair.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Astarion POV *̥˚✧

It was surprisingly easy to clear the main floor of Cazador’s palace. I took special pleasure in killing Godey, one of my main tormentors aside from Cazador. His screams echoed against the kennel walls, his empty threats silenced once and for all.

I stood in the middle of the kennels trying to regain my composure. The ghosts that once taunted me in this room had been suddenly silenced. Their whispers effectively cut short. I remove the key to the chapel from the pile of bones that had once been Godey and make my way back to the main floor, cutting through all who stood in my path.

The humans that served Cazador in the hopes that they might one day become his spawn whimper pathetically as I slice through them without a second thought. The nocturnal horde that Cazador had amassed was no match for the centuries of rage that I had unleashed. I wore their blood like a badge of honor. A trophy of my revenge.

But there was only one person whose blood I cared about at this moment–Cazador’s.

I pass through his study until I find the hidden lift that would descend me into hell. I steeled myself, knowing I would come face-to-face with the people whose trust I betrayed. It was one thing to prepare myself to face their inevitable wrath and suffering, but it was entirely different to witness with my own eyes.

Their vermillion glares pierced me from the other side of their gilded cages. I recognized their faces. They did not deserve this. It was all my fault.

Tav’s voice creeps into my mind unbidden, “You had no choice. This isn’t your fault. It’s his.”

I pull the tarot card from my pocket and stare at the letters, deciphering its hidden meaning. The reminder that Tav was back at camp, hoping that I would return to her arms only strengthened my resolve. This card was meant to serve as a reminder. It reminded me of why I was doing this. It wasn’t for me. It was for us.

“I’m going to kill Cazador and free you all,” my voice was full of resolve. My previous targets stared back at me, unmoving. I don’t expect them to trust me. Not until it was done.

The smell of blood and death reverberated through the air, weighing heavy on my thoughts. I felt its influence on my mind as I traversed deeper into the underground chapel. My thoughts no longer felt like my own. The thrum of power hurtled through the air like static electricity, further warping my mind into something else–something I deeply wanted to avoid.

Finally, I reach the large ornate door leading to the ritual site. I could feel the power hitting me in undulating waves, the smell of death threatening to send me into a violent frenzy.

I take a deep breath, touching the pocket that stowed the tarot card. I let thoughts of Tav give me the strength and bravery that I desperately needed. I finally push open the doors.

“Is it true? Has our prodigal son returned?”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

✧*̥˚ Tav POV *̥˚✧

Last night was one of the most difficult. I had not been parted from Astarion this long since our first meeting. Memories of his cool hand tracing lines in my skin, the taste of his lips, the intimate moments we shared with only the moon as a witness addled my mind. Halsin’s tea sat untouched in the corner of my tent.

I was scared to sleep–scared of the dreams that would play like a reel in my mind. I wasn’t ready to face those quite yet. A part of me still held out hope that he would return, begging to be held in my arms like the last night we spent together. His cool skin comforted me in ways that no one else could supply. I knew I was chasing false hopes.

How could I surge forward, eager to save the world when mine had just been decimated. Selfish thoughts flitted through my mind, wishing all of Faerun could suffer like I was. The thoughts scared me. They were foreign to me–at least the new me. I felt the thorny tendrils of my past life gripping me tightly, seeping through my veins like the poison of a viper. The lonely Bhaalspawn I once was lingering behind the threshold, threatening to break the fragile barrier that I had worked so hard to build.

Astarion made me realize that all she had needed was love–a tender touch. Something to care for. But that had been ripped from my grasp, and the shattered girl I once was slowly began to reveal herself once again.

The camp was active, but I was too depressed to leave my bed. I knew that if I continued to tear apart the city looking for evidence that Astarion still existed would turn up nothing. He had vanished, just as quickly as he had come.

My eyelids are heavy with exhaustion. My limbs ache from lack of sleep and food. My eyes close against my will, and I fall into a dark slumber filled with dreams of Astarion.

A commotion in camp wakes me from my sleep, images of Baldur’s Gate flooded with blood and viscera rescind from behind my eyes as I try to take hold of my surroundings.

Outside, I hear urgent voices. Shadowheart is yelling out a list of potions and ingredients for healing, “Astarion, stay with us.”

All the lingering effects of sleep drain from my body when I hear his name. I scramble out of my tent, tripping over my own feet. I look up to find Astarion collapsed on the outskirts of our camp, bloodied and bruised.

A strangled cry escapes my lips as I run towards him. No. no. Don’t die.

I’m hovering over Astarion, clasping his hand in mine. His labored breathing is shallow and painful.

“Astarion,” I cry, choking on my own sobs.

His eyes open slowly, and he squeezes my hand weakly, “D-darling. I-I’m terribly sorry,” he sputters before his eyes fall closed again and his arm goes limp.

“Shadowheart,” I cry, panic rising in my throat.

“Let me work,” she murmurs, casting restoration and healing spells, her hands working methodically.

Halsin wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me away. I fight against him, thrashing violently, “No,” I scream.

“Let her work, Tav, she can heal him,” I hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“LET. ME. GO.” I scream, maneuvering out of his grip and falling to my knees beside Astarion. Halsin paces behind me, running a hand through his hair, clearly trying to stay calm for my sake. But I can tell he is just as concerned.

“Astarion, please,” I whimper, running a hand through his hair, ignoring the blood that paints his curls red and pink, “Stay with me. Don’t… Don’t leave me again.”

Shadowheart works throughout the day, patching up any visible wounds and casting spell after spell. Finally, as the sun begins to slip from the sky, she announces that he will be fine. But he has fallen into a deep rest so that his body has time to heal.

I don’t leave his side for three days, counting his breaths and wiping the sweat that dampens his brow. I whisper encouraging words to him when others aren’t around, coaxing him to wake up. All of my anger was abandoned and forgotten. Halsin stayed with us as much as he could, only leaving to eat and sleep.

The third night, Halsin exits the tent to catch up on sleep. The bags under his eyes grow heavier with each passing day. He forces tea into my hands, practically begging me to sleep. I promise that I will try. I give him a soft kiss and whisper apologies for my decorum these past few days. I felt like an awful partner. Halsin waves off my concerns, showing nothing but understanding and kindness. He knew what Astarion meant to me.

I curl up next to Astarion, careful not to touch his wounds. It looked like he had suffered quite a bit. I saw the healing scars of knife wounds. Some looked like he had been stabbed while others were large gashes that marred his body. Even still, large bite marks and burns were scabbing over, only just staring to heal. My thoughts turn over in my head, wondering where he had gone. I felt deep down I already knew the answer.

I gulp down Halsin’s tea and close my eyes, listening to Astarion’s rhythmic breathing until I finally fall asleep.

I’m not sure how long I was out before I felt him stirring next to me. I hear a grunt as cool arms snake around my waist and pull me close. My eyes spring open and I am met with the most beautiful sight I could pray for.

Astarion’s vermillion eyes stare back at me, something haunting lingers behind them.

“Astarion,” I jump. A mixture of surprise and excitement touches my voice.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling me back to his body, “I-I’m so sorry, darling.”

I watch him as sadness and relief surface in his features. “I have so much to tell you.”

I nuzzle my head into his chest, tears spilling from my eyes, “You need to rest, Astarion,” I say choking back my sobs, “Reserve your energy, please,” I beg, “You can explain later.” I mesh my body with his, not wanting to ever be parted from him again.

He chuckles lightly beside me, his quiet laughter rumbling in his chest. He painfully leans forward to plant a kiss on my head.

“This cannot wait, darling,” he murmurs through painful breaths.

I lift my head to meet his loving gaze.

“Tav–I. I’ve had a lot of time to think. But the only thoughts that occupy my mind are thoughts of you,” he pauses to catch his breath, “You have taken hold of my heart–my soul. There is nothing–nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I–I love you,” he breathes, “and I do not want a future if it does not include you.”

He slowly and painfully pulls a card from the pockets of his bloodied discarded trousers. “You gave me the strength to save myself. I will never forget it.”

I take the card from him and study its blood splattered image. The words The Lovers stare back at me, promising a future that I yearned for more than anything.

“I love you too Astarion,” I breathe after a moment, cradling myself against his body once again, “Don’t ever leave me like that again,” I whisper into his skin, inhaling his familiar scent.

“I promise,” he whispers before falling back into a deep sleep. His breathing slows to a steady rhythm.

And for a moment, I swear I could hear the soft beating of his heart.

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