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#i would look myself but i cant even get in the server :)

hufflpuffin · 2 years

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no shot? are they for real? 😬

EDIT: THEY ON CRACK I GUESS??

So you can’t get OW coins from the battlepass or leveling or exp, the only way to get them is buying them or doing weekly challenges for scraps. And the only way to get the battlepass without paying is grinding for 2 seasons straight? So you have to grind every week for 9 weeks to earn half the amount needed for a battlepass? And legendary skins are 1800+ coins, so if you want a single one of those without buying the battle pass, it will take at least half a year.

And if you want to buy a 6 year old legendary skin you missed from OW1? 1000 coins or $10. The price of the battlepass. or $5 for an old emote. For cosmetics that were previously all capable of being earned for free.

Genuinely astonished by how blatant and forward the greediness is. Whats even the point of even grinding a f2p game if the rewards are unachievable to naturally earn, and paying for each individual thing you like will cost more than buying the game outright?

#ow2 #overwatch 2 #overwatch #i would look myself but i cant even get in the server :)#what the fuck? 8 months? this is worse than apex #my account merge didnt work either and its lvl 2000+#ive had this game for like 5 or 6 years #i s2g if i lost everything?? I spent real money on cosmetics over the years :(#submitted a ticket but yeah i didnt even want ow2 i was just gonna stick with the old one #but they overwrite your old game with the new one which is fucking wild honestly #bc they knew if they gave players the option to choose theyd go back to ow1 bc of how forced these prices are

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lunerna21 · 6 months

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🥀***JPN SERVER CONTENT SPOILERS AHEAD***🥀

***BASHES HEAD INTO THE WALL AS I BLEED PROFUSELY AND BREATHE HEAVILY***

HOLY FUCK EVERYONE IM SO OVERWHELMED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

First of all, Happy 100th anniversary Disney! I fucking live and thrive on Disney movies so it’s such a cool day to be part of!

SECONDLY, I wasn’t gonna try too may pulls for Grim’ SSR but after I got the bundle I GOT SO DAMN FUCKING LUCKY!

I GOT GRIM FUCKING TWICE!! TWICE!! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!

So now, I HAVE MY LITTLE HAIRY GREMLIN! LOOK AT THESE DAPPER YOUNG FELLAS~!!

FINALLY, YANA TOBOSO TOPPED OFF ON THE NEW CARDS THIS YEAR!!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THESE CARDS LOOK ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!

YALL THEY DID NOT HOLD BACK ON THE FINEST DETAILS OF THESE CARDS!!

I WAS WORRIED THEY WOULDNT HOLD UP TO GLORIOUS MASQUERADE BUT HOLY FUCKING GOD IM SO SO HAPPY!!

I EVEN PREDICTED THAT IT WOULD BE KALIM, ACE AND ORTHO FOR THE EVENT BUT YALL I HAVE MY FAVORITE THREE STARING IN THIS EVENT!!

AND THE FUCKING EASTER EGGS!!

(ACE: FIGARO/ KALIM: CLEO/ ORTHO: JIMINY CRICKET)

EVEN THE TINIEST DETAILS ON THE CHARACTERS ARE AMAZING (also Jade and Floyd with the Flotsam Jetsam designs) BUT I CANT GET OVER HOW SO GODDAMN HYPED AND EXCITED I AM FOR THIS EVENT!!

And these two look like freaking trouble!! (ALSO WHY DOES YANA MAKE THE VILLAINS HOT IN THE TWST FORM!?)

Part of me is hoping that these two butt heads with Ace the same way with Rollo and Malleus were in Glorious Masquerade, CAUSE I WANNA SEE ACE GET JEALOUS WE NEED MORE ACEYUU CONTENT DESPERATELY!!

……..But guys help me I…..I have a problem...

I HAVENT STOPPED STARING AT THESE TWO HOLY MOTHER OF GOD YANA POPPED OFF ON THESE TWO AND I LOVE THAT SO SO SOOOOO MUCH

IM READY FOR MORE ACE TRAPPOLA CONTENT!!!

BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ORTHO, I WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO TAKE REVENGE ON WHOEVER DID HIM AND THE OTHERS WRONG!

Now excuse me while I continue to gushing about ACE FUCKING TRAPPOLA!! IM READY FOR MORE ACE CONTENT!

LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!!!! HAPPY SPOOKY TIME BITCHES!!!🎃💀🥀

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anonymous-dentist · 22 days

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since people apparently cant be formal im going to be: we dont use "q!" cuz people kinda dont want to talk abt the server, only spiderbit/guapoduo, so they decided to use "g!" or only "!", and when people are refering to other series they use the first letter of the series for example: "c!roier", i myself dont quite get the g!/! and understand why u dont like people not using "q!" when the universe they talking abt is qsmp

(people saw u complaining abt it here and start to shit on u without any context on twt and saying u complained that q wanst appearing in other fics even tho im pretty sure i didnt when ur distancing urself from him so i wanted to be formal :])

-🎀

(also can u explain y u dont like the "g!" or "!"???)

I can try to explain myself, but I'm also kinda crying answering this because I have a hard time with emotion regulation when I'm upset (autism thing)

OKAY! SO!

I don't really mind the new tag things? Like, I don't love them, but they're fine. If people want to distance themselves, that's fine. I'm distancing myself. Anybody who's been keeping up with my blog over the past half a year or so can see that I haven't really posted about the QSMP at all since Purgatory started. I haven't talked about Quackity at all outside of that shitshow of an awards ceremony in over a month when, for several years, I was a Quackity-centric blog (2021-early 2023)

My thing with the new tags, and with the Guapoverse thing in general, is that it really just isn't accessible for a larger audience. Sure, some parts of Twitter might understand it, but what about the rest of us?

As far as I can tell, the Guapoverse originated with a Twitter artist (Moone), and it blew up overnight. And I'm overall cool with it! It's a little silly, but so is fandom. I'm a fanfiction writer. Who plays Splatoon for like 4 hours every day. I know silly, and I love it

But then, BAM, I blink and everybody's abandoned the q! and they're changing their tags on Ao3 and making everything suddenly so much harder to find, and it's all about accessibility, isn't it? Like, don't get me wrong, I love a good multiverse, but when it inadvertently excludes a significant portion of the fandom, what are we supposed to do?

Like, say I go on Twitter looking for q!Pac fanart. But now it's so much harder to find because it isn't tagged or typed that way, it's !Pac, and that includes search results from every single au that has a ! in it, like if there was an au called AU!Pac? The !Pac would be in there. But I don't want to see AU!Pac, I want to see q!Pac.

And then there's the g! thingy. Like, that's fine, but a little more widespread of an explanation would've been nice. Like, what au does g! stand for? If you don't know what Guapoverse is, like A LOT OF PEOPLE don't, what are we supposed to think your art is? If we're looking for q!Cellbit art, we aren't necessarily going to like and retweet your art if it's labeled as g!Cellbit because we don't know that he's q!Cellbit.

It's kind of similar on Ao3, only that one's a little different because you can filter by relationship. But let's say you don't know how to do that. Let's say you're new to the website and you only know how to filter by fandom, because that's the first thing you learn how to do on Ao3- it's right there at the top of the front page: Browse By Fandom.

So you go to the QSMP tag looking for fics with Spiderbit/Guapoduo in them. But, here's the thing, you can't find any. Because they aren't being tagged QSMP, they're being tagged Guapoverse now even if the fics are being set in the QSMP setting.

It's just a general lack of fandom accessibility that gets me. I understand the distancing aspect, and I've been waiting for it to happen since the Elections when he Brazilian fandom started getting IMMENSE amounts of hatred from Gringo Chats. But it gets a little tricky when you're part of a fandom as large as this one is. How are we all supposed to share content and talk about things with each other if we can't even find each other anymore?

Like! I've lost so many cool fics I forgot to bookmark because they were taken out of the QSMP tag and moved into the new one! (The new one goes against ToS btw I believe, but go talk to a tag wrangler about that.)

People on Tumblr don't know what the Guapoverse is. TikTok doesn't. Reddit doesn't. Only Twitter does, and only a section of Twitter does. Because I haven't seen any English or French-speaking Guapoduo People talk about the Guapoverse, only Portuguese or Spanish-speaking people. And I get that the exclusion isn't purposeful and that the Guapoverse is meant to sort of heal everybody from the wounds the QSMP left, but I think that maybe even just spreading the news and not... you know... sending death threats and insults and smearing people's names would be better than this.

Thank you for politely asking. I thought I had made myself clear before, but I guess I hadn't.

I'm open to answer any more questions. I can't explain myself to my critics on Twitter, but I can answer your questions here, hopefully.

#asks!#anon!#i feel awful #idk why i'm even being targeted #and why people are lying about me

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antiradqueer · 9 months

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radqueers go "OMG THATS HORRIBLE HOW COULD THEY??? THEY DONT BELONG IN THE RADQUEER COMMUNITY!!!!!!" when someone does something bad as a very performative way of deflecting and making themselves seem like good people. like in public theyll go "omg thats HORRIBLE how could someone EVER commit bestiality??" but when you get into their private servers you see them being radically pro-contact claiming that its "not actually abusive". even though they cry and scream about pro-abuse people, when you peel back the "anti-harm, anti-abuse, anti-grooming, pro-consensual contact" aesthetic flags and labels and subterms you find that they support the exact same things as the people they claim to hate. when someone says theyre a "transitioning transnazi" they all freak out over it and claim to completely condemn it, but then you see them making nazi moodboards and saying "yeah i say racial slurs i cant reclaim in private to make myself feel better" and creating nazi ocs and going on and on about how attractive and cool nazis are.

they can deny and scream and defend all they want but everyone who knows about the community knows that theyre just as bad as the people they claim to hate. they can hide behind "pro-consent/anti-abuse" and "anti-transitioning transharmful" and "don't assume someone is being abused based off of stereotypes" and all their other cute aesthetic phrases but everyone knows that when you look underneath those then you find that its all lies and vague phrasing to make them sound better than they really are.

as someone who was in the radqueer community, i saw firsthand how these people would lie and make up cute phrases and repeat the same vague phrasing over and over. its designed purely to trick people and lure impressionable kids/uneducated people in, to trick them and make them think that everything is normal and acceptable until they step back and realize months later that everyone around them is a groomer and an abuser. they give you little bits of truth at a time to make you think that what theyre saying is normal, but those little seemingly-inconsequential things add up until you find yourself supporting adults dating toddlers and humans fucking animals.

they paint everything as "it's okay if it's consensual" but keep the phrasing vague so you just agree and dont question what they consider "consensual". i experienced how theyd say "well not ALL relationships between adults and minors are bad - an 18 year old dating a 17 year old is perfectly normal", something that's pretty true and makes sense, and then slowly make it more and more extreme until theyve manipulated and tricked you into believing "well an adult dating a 10 year old is fine actually, children are known to start experiencing romantic attraction and understanding romance around that age".

once youre too deep in the community and all their lies you dont even notice that any of this is happening. i thought that having to use vague phrasing and manipulate people was a completely normal thing that every community did because thats how they all treated it. you think that everything theyre saying is fine and normal and its actually the "antis" who are wrong and horrible, just listen to the 10 other people in the community, were happy so we must be right, right?

its a fucking cult. they manipulate you into joining by preying on those who are uneducated or traumatized or impressionable or otherwise vulnerable, they convince you that theyre the only right ones who know the "truth" and everyone else is wrong and "brainwashed", they shame and harass people who leave to make people too scared to get out. its entirely a cult and i hope that people are able to realize that and get the fuck out.

sweet jesus this is a long ask i can barely process it all

#anti radqueer

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honey-dandelion · 3 months

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Hello everyone !! My name is AD, 19 and my pronouns are she/her!! I am a multi muse, filipino roleplayer/writer!!

I am quite new to the rp community in tumblr so please understand that I'm inexperienced. This blog is mostly to find more reigen rp partners who can giggle and ramble with me about Ron Weasley!

Currently, i am into Harry Potter!! I’d like to preface and say I do NOT support anything JK Rowling has said (as I am bi myself) and any transphobic statements she’s made is something I will never agree with.

My current hyperfixation character as of the moment is actually Ron Weasley! He’s my favorite character by far and I can go on and on about rambling towards him :3 though he doesn’t have to be my main actually! Im looking for any Ron role players :D as long as I get to write ships or just in general, sweet stories about him.

I have a few set of rules i would also like to make as a seperate post but as of right now, i will be writing them here so please take the time to read them in case you ever want to write or just simply chat with me about anything!!

* Main muses are Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy! I can also do the Weasley family and can even do Ron as well if preferred!

* usually write on discord and prefer to have a server for all the rps. I draw, write and speed out ideas a LOT btw so please be warned. I'm a rambler and I really love Ron a lot and want to interact with people who love it or just generally love Ron as much as I do!

* I am a big romance shipper but I also love writing platonic relationships between characters! Like family found dynamics and such. I am also a rare shipper kind of gal- like shipping Draco and Ron sometimes LOL

* I write mostly romance for aged up/adult characters

* I can word vomit and write long replies a lot- it's how I usually write so please don't feel pressured to write the same length as me!!

* Via discord rp; PLEASE tell me if I write something that ever makes you uncomfortable- I can edit it out and such, I don't mind as long as everyone feels safe.

* I'm really biased with Ron. I can be ooc with him a bit so please do not attack me if you have any problems with my mischaracterization of him. I am only here to have fun and write, to indulge myself with people. I don’t mind ooc

* I have school and responsibilities from my parents so if I don't answer, I'm probs asleep, working or @ college

* Lasty; Dont be shy with interacting with me! I am always happy to make mutuals and friends around here! I would love to answer any questions- either in character or just questions you would want to know about me!! So please dont be shy :D

• FOR NSFW STUFF; PLEASE STOP HERE WHEN YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE TOPIC. THANK YOU AGAIN.

• I usually just write doms/tops and I can get pretty hardcore with smut writing — please tell me if there is any kinks or stuff in smut you don't want to read! I also like dark topics but absolutely no adult/kid. That shit is not allowed in my rp blog. I'm very into some dark content and such but if that's not your cup of tea, please avoid the " DARK TOPIC // " tag.

• I only write nsfw of adult characters and ocs; cant do erp via me. I will only do them via discord as I am way too shy to write them publicly. PLEASE NOTE THOUGH that i will not just write on a whim. I will be able to make headcanons and such but i need to get to know you and feel comfortable enough to write it. I do write suggestive content here and there so my tags here will be " NSFW // " in case you ever want to avoid it.

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raven · 3 months

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i feel like the tipping culture in my country might be different than in yours so i have a question (in good faith, i hope it comes across this way): why does tipping seem to be “reserved” only for waiters? why isn’t tipping for example cashiers a thing?

yeah im not super in the know on why tippong originated but heres my perspective as someone whos worked counter service cashier jobs and food retail and as a server

tipping is not reserved for waiters it's for people in the food industry, including cashiers, baristas, delivery drivers, etc (& support staff at restaurants get tipped out too) as well as for people giving services like hair dressers, masseuses, tattoo artists, taxi drivers, etc. like many people (stupid) wont tip cashiers and many places (fast food) wont let you tip their cashiers (they do get paid regular minimum wage though, while server minimum wage is 2.35 but it's weird to me to not allow tips). I always tip on to go orders bc the workers are doing the same amount; my restaurant doesnt have to go orders really but my old one did and tips on to go went straight to the support staff. but basically, its just how it is. why not tip retail? thats just not how it is. I dont know. Sorry. I havent really worked retail (i worked food retail and didnt get tips, but people would sneak me cash since i was doing some barista stuff) but it's kind of just that you are less in control of a customer's experience, generally. Like if you get your bra size measured, would you tip the person who did it? Idk. I'll have to check this out when i get my size measured soon. Idk, i try to tip as much as possible lol. Cashier, barista, etc. i buy something for $5 leave a $5 tip because it feels bad to leave just a dollar or two... theres also a retail store that allows tips at checkout and idk what it really goes to but i tip every time, i guess i could ask. and there's other services you tip for like hairdressers or masseuses or tattoo artists or taxi drivers like i mentioned before. at least thats just how i and others do it. because these people spend time, even several hours with you helping you and are probably not paid enough is my guess. (definitely taxi drivers are not paid enough especially if its uber/lyft...) Do you tip car repair? I need to get my car repaired, I'll look into it...

For why servers are prioritized in conversation: The bottom line is that it has been ingrained into american culture down to LAW that servers get paid less because they get tips. love it or hate it, by not giving tips you are not showing you disagree with a system, you are just fucking over a worker. You still spent the money at my restaurant, it will stay open. Many servers are also against passing laws to invoke minimum wages to lessen tipping because they would be paid way less, and i cant blame them. Like, my restaurant cant afford to pay me $60/hr. I got paid $60/hr tonight. I felt like i was going to die, but i would feel the same way if i was getting paid minimum wage by my employer, and i would be getting 1/4 that amount. Like serving simply isnt really worth it as a job because of the toll it takes on your mind and body to deal with customers, stand on your feet all day, carry heavy plates, clean the restaurant, etc, if we are not getting lots of money. At least for me since im disabled and killing myself with this job lol. But i have no college education and i LOVE feeding people good food! (I've also worked counter service not fast food, complicated , we did a lot of takeout, i mostly cashiered, never got a ton of tips, it was definitely much easier than being a full server in a full service restaurant. you should still tip people there thoughh)

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fictionfreedom · 4 months

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hi. i dont know how to really start this but like. i guess i present myself as being against radqueer stuff / pro para stuff. like outwardly. but if we're being honest i feel like im probably one myself. i feel stuck. everyone who knows me i think is not okay with this stuff. basically ive just been supressing things this entire time. i dont know if its good to live that way? i guess it sucks to know that honestly a lot of people would hate me a lot for who i really am and how i really feel. i dont want people to attack me but like. i feel kind of... fascinated with the para community? like. i wont lie ive followed quite a few people in this community in secret but otherwise just suppressed it. the recent callout stuff thats going on this website though is like... it feels like its bringing stuff up. like obviously i dont agree with like acts of abuse but like. ive been breaking down a lot suddenly about seeing people who are similar to me getting harassed for things that i feel too. like i suppress it and pretend to be anti i think because i just want to survive. eveyone says like its the more moral thing to be against this stuff because its bad and gross and only bad and gross people feel that way. i dont think im bad and gross? i mean sometimes i feel that way. but like, my attractions dont feel gross in the moment. i only feel that way when im beating myself up for thinking about them. i feel like i still want to otherwise keep them to myself outside of this anon but it hurts honestly to see people who i like talking about how it makes someone a bad person and that you deserve harassment for it. i dont know if it woild be helpful for me to be open and prideful like everyone else. i dont want to be hurt. but i want friends or something that wont hate me forever or even ruin my life because i feel the way i do. i mean ive tried to stop feeling aroused and attracted to the things i do. ive tried but obviously i cant stop it and it's probably uneraseable. wtf do i do?

Wow that's a lot for an ask. I don't quite know if I'm good at giving advice but I'll definitely say this: You are in no way a bad person for these feelings, and the fact you even feel bad about them in the first place proves that. It is not a thing you can necessarily stop unless it's a trauma response, and even then most people have to go through therapy just to get close to stopping those feelings, and even then that's usually just dealt with through finding ways to have an outlet for harmful paraphilias such as certain kinks and whatnot so that they aren't actually harming anyone, such as roleplay and whatnot or through means of fiction. I will still say it's best you don't identify yourself as a Radqueer, as most Radqueers are well known to be Pro-contact which means they are fine with people acting on things like pedophilia and zoophilia outside of a roleplay/fiction scenario. If you feel that you want to express your paraphilias and whatnot to other people, even if those people aren't your friends but rather just a good community, I'd suggest looking around on here for servers and whatnot, but again I suggest avoiding radqueers and any places that say they support anti-recovery people. You may HAVE to interact with Radqueers or radqueer-type things to find stuff about different labels and whatnot, but besides that I still say avoid them or interact with them in a careful context. It absolutely isn't a good way to live, suppressing these things and beating yourself up over it, and even if you just continue to vent or talk about these things anonymously it's still a good thing to talk about. You are not a bad person for feeling or thinking these things, no matter how you feel about them, and the only thing that can make you a bad person in this situation is if you act on them in a non-fictional/roleplay scenario.

If anyone else has advice for this person feel free to put it in the comments/reblogs, and I will personally be deleting anything rude or hurtful towards this person as they are obviously not doing well mentally because of this stuff.

-Michael

#profic #proship #comship #pro fiction #pro para #pro paraphile #anti harassment #paraphilia #paraphile #paraphilias #para safe #paraphile safe #paraphiles please interact #paraphile community

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munson-blurbs · 5 months

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hi i always see you saying that you feel ugly , that you think youre ugly & ima start by saying you’re not. not at all you’re beautiful even if you dont feel beautiful you are. in every way

my question is , do you think pretty privilege is a thing in this fandom ? i mean ive tried to make multiple friends but because i’m not a writer nor do people know what i look like , its harder to make friends even tho i’m doing my best , supporting and having open dms for people to enter when they need me , sometimes i feel it might be dramatic that it makes me want to leave this app yk? it wont make much of a difference because im not putting art out there for people to read and enjoy, im on the other side of it but i cant help but feel saddened by it. knowing readers whove shown their face and appreciation get thousands of likes , i do the same APART from showing myself, it sucks truly.

what im trying to say is , you’re beautiful but your beauty doesn’t define you , its your character. ily you are an amazing writer bug 💗

First, thank you for the kind words 💚 body image is something I struggle with daily, and it is really difficult for me to find nice things about myself.

I've been mulling over my response to your question. I think pretty privilege is everywhere, including Tumblr--although I would like to think it's not as bad as the 2011-2014ish days of the "Tumblr Aesthetic."

I think I can freely speak for myself and my friends when I say that I'm not concerned about what my readers look like, or even whether or not I know what they look like. The only thing we care about is that y'all are 18+ (we're not comfy interacting with minors) and that you're nice people. If those are both met, you're good to go.

If you're comfortable, I would suggest joining a Discord server dedicated to your fandom(s) of choice! That's honestly how I've made 99% of my friends on this hellsite.

You can send me a DM if you want more info on the server stuff. And know that you always can reach out to me 💚

#answered

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tradetobest · 3 months

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ahh sorry back again bc i can't help myself... this is all too good...

the idea of willy playing like. distant wingman for mitch is so funny. i can only imagine what their text convos look like, just strings of updates of "auston just walked past but he's going to the gym... i think i heard kniesy looking for you earlier, you should find him" and "you should have seen him today, you would have thought i told him i was kicking puppies when i said you called in" and mitch trying sooo hard to be normal about it bc how do you even approach any of that!!! also, do you have any more willy hcs!! i love the idea of him being so giggly at the front desk <3

i'm literally obsessed w little server trio cc/jh/tz... like i know the three of them will get caught up in some gossip and forget they're working just to get irrationally annoyed when someone asks them for help like they're not At work... jh and tz doing the whole "i'll do it if you do it" ruse about their men and then neither of them ever end up actually doing anything, because that would be too easy... (also, i kinda need jamie angsting over how cute he thinks his server is but also knowing better than to hit on someone who's working and can't say no so he's just pining from afar. not like he'd know what to say to ask him out anyway, but!!) any time jamie comes in tz has automatic dibs on his table, even if he's on the other side of the clubhouse from the section trevor is meant to be managing...

your little woller doodle has me in knots i... his smile is SO cute i can't get over him. best kids club staff member who has ever existed...

please keep coming back i am LOVING this

as for more willy hcs hmm…. willy To Me is like. everyone describes him as the most Cool Likeable Chill guy ever but those subway commercials have him being such a goof so i think the combination of Fun and Chill vibes has him at the front desk most of the time, where he Will charm your wife and he Will also charm you, and where he is also privvy to Literally Everything that goes on. want to know some course drama? ask willy. want to know the relationship status of those two guys who always come to the course together? willy will know it.

also. idk but like. willy has the vibe of someone who would bring a sticker sheet to work and just give a kid a lil sticker once in a while when hes in a good mood. idk. i think thats cute i feel like it would be Fun Chill Willy Vibes to do……

followup i think he also can just Get Away with stuff at work bcs the old course boss just let him do shit and the new one cant stop him. Free Roaming Employee Willy Nylander.

i tried for So Long to draw lil gossip circle cc/jh/tz but it was just Nawt coming out i am SO sorry BUT oh my god the jamie wanting to not hit on trevor at work is so real. jamie just sitting there like Don't Hit On Him. He's Working. That's A Bad Power Dynamic. and trevor is like. *auston matthews lean* heyyyy to him ALL THE TIME just like praying jamie will do something to let him know he's interested....

also trevor like letting the host know to always seat jamie in his section and he WILL sprint across the restaurant to serve him. jamie just watching z RUN towards him. so funny.

THANK U woller was so fun to draw,,, he fr is the best kids club staff

#asks #golf course au #i love all of this.... i LOVE talking abt this au please ask me more qs if you want i am always down to discuss

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just-antithings · 2 years

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A fic writer in my fandom is being called an anti and badmouthed in a Discord channel, with people being encouraged on the downlow not to comment/reblog/kudo/like her stuff. I actually like her work because she does canon compliant fics while the fandom is oversaturated with AUs and it scratches my itch. So I was like, "damn, how disappointing, I follow her tumblr and subscribe to her AO3 and haven't seen anti stuff from her, where did she hide that?" only to be told that she is an anti because she doesn't multiship, blocks people who ship her NOTP and said she doesn't consider herself a proshipper because she finds the term too vague and prone to being interpreted differently based on which group is using it. I literally went @_@ when I saw that. Paraphrasing the convo that followed, I asked to clarify: "So she doesn't harass people, send death threats or advocate for a content she doesn't like to be removed completely?" And the answer I got, paraphrased: "Well, no, but she blocks people over what they ship and doesn't want to call herself a proshipper. And she's a monoshipper, too. Antis are always obsessed with their ship and hate others." And at that point I left the conversation and the Discord server both and spent the past couple of hours leaving long comments on all of her fics, both on Tumblr and AO3. I'm sending this to you to vent so I can excise my negativity about the situation without it slipping into my comments to her. I hope that's okay.

Yea, thats shitty. I also block my notps and depending on the fandom or character, hate multishipping. I also dont directly discribe myself as a porshipper (im not highly active in fandom any more sobik hardly even a shipper at all at this point). The author is very clearly cultivating their own online experience so they can get the most enjoy ment out of it..... You know the thing so many proshippers advocate for. I think its awesome that you are giving her positivity, while also venting somewhere else so she only gets the good parts.

I'm sure most people dont live the whole "i think youre great unlike these other people" like personal if someone dislikes me i dont need people who do like me to bring it up everytime i get a compliment (kind of how a lot of trans advocating posts cant be positive without bring up how much better they are then terfs like yea, but i would like positivity without being reminded about how much certain other people hate me.)

The people in that server are being childish because someone they like wont make the content they want so they are lashing out. They apparently are struggling with the concept that not everything is for them, and instead of going out and looking for things they do enjoy they want to complain. Again childish an its so similar to anti behavior, im not calling them antis but again the same thing applies to antis and them here

Not everything is made for you and other people cultivating their online experience is not a slight on you. Get over yourself and let people use fiction how they want, you dont speak for everyone.

#mod gatito #asks

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j7pht · 1 year

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nvm actually i kind of want to stick around in this tag for just a little while longer now that ive looked around. im going to use the fact i dont use A LOT A LOT of words when im talking to my advantage to talk about some stuff from my perspective in case the tag is read

iz's vn does not use their trauma. i questioned iz when the zine first came out about it and what they said was that the vn was about *them* sexually harassing people on a schoolbus as a teen. it wasnt related to rina's trauma, rina's zine even says that iz did this in case there's disbelief here. the vn itself also as i understand, because i havent looked at it (and dont plan to for a few months, until im 18) is telling a story about abuse that occurred to one of glip's characters. the vn is overwhelmingly more like iz hurting glip, if anything. i voiced that i disliked the premise of the vn from what i was hearing, not because it was about sexual assault feelings-- i think its important art is made about those things-- i just wish it was handled with more tact with regards to rina, because there were similar stories shared between iz and rina in private.

no the twitter banner for glip is not nsfw. i asked. its intimate art, but theres nothing explicit happening, theres no sex. i was told it *was* posted in the nsfw channels but it was there because it could be interpreted that way and glip wanted to be able to talk about their intimate relationship if they wanted, but theres nothing sexual occurring.

i wish that glip making enormous documents of context evidence and perspective wasnt brushed off as "gish galloping". how i personally perceive this is that no one really wants to read it so they just tack on a word because they dont feel its worth reading. from my perspective the reason glip types so much to address their side of things is because the context of what they say gets stripped very frequently and theres a lot of backstory to a lot of incidents. i dont think its fair to go "um why is this so fucking long??????????" when if it was shorter itd be written off faster and probably easier. im personally more comfortable with typing less words, i personally cant see myself making a 50 page document, but its reasonable to me that glip would prefer to do that given kiwifarms stuff and quotes from them being pulled out of context and thrown around as evidence. please just read it or dont.

the floracasts were/will probably continue to be as long as they were because we were having fun talking. there was no script or anything like that, it was just a recorded vc. on the topic of this though i would like to point out; why the fuck is it an issue for me to discuss being uncomfortable with seeing nsfw, or talk about/hear about sexual pain i relate to? i could have misread intention but holy shit. am i not allowed to discuss anything on account of being a minor???? i was not exposed to anything. i was just talking. i didnt like insomniac's playful presentation of cropped porn and i talk briefly about csa and cocsca, later on and probably in a vid that hasnt been uploaded yet.

im currently feeling open to discussion about these things. im willing to ask questions back and forth, i dont feel fear in asking mods or glip about things. despite being very new to the fv servers, i understand some people dont want to speak to people within it privately, that makes sense to me if theres a genuine fear about it being a cult. if you feel afraid then i think its probably a better idea to speak out in the open, genuinely.

#floraverse #consider this like an open forum post to engage with???

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twinsky · 1 year

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i think about hiiro every day of my life. cant believe they made him just for me.... this fic contains spoilers for chapter 5 (up until what is released in the official server) ty :)

Title: and it feels like water to a drowning man

Word Count: 7k+

Summary: What do you want? His brother asks, Aira asks. A question Hiiro had never understood, Hiiro did not want. Hiiro was told what he wanted and needed and the answer to that was that Hiiro wanted and needed what his brother told him. But Rinne did not want that for him, Aira told him that wasn’t right either.

So what did Hiiro want?

How did one even decide what to want to want? Was it okay to ask? Was he stupid for not knowing?

Hiiro had always known he was stupid, but it felt so much worse now.

What do you want?

Tell me Hiiro, what is it that you want?

---

In the aftermath of his brother disowning him, Hiiro tries his best to come to terms with what living for oneself really means. And how on earth he is supposed to do that, when the concept is as foreign to him as the sun to creatures who lived far beyond its sight

[ao3 link]

“Nii-san” Hiiro says, smiling up at his big brother as he walks through the doors. Rinne sighs as he looks over at him, shoulders drooping, and Hiiro grins wider. His brother is always tired after meetings with the elders, after lessons for his future as their Monarch.

Hiiro has no idea what happens at those meetings, but that’s okay, it’s not his place. He doesn’t need to know, he isn’t meant to know. All Hiiro needs to know is how to be everything his brother will ever need, because that is his role to play as his brother’s younger sibling.

And Hiiro is great at knowing what his brother needs, if he can say so himself.

“Hiiro.” His brother finally greets, smiling slightly. That his brother is always happy to see him is one of Hiiro’s greatest joys. It means that he’s doing a good job, that his brother needs him as he was born to be needed.

“Since your lessons lasted longer than usual, I made you something to eat!” The kitchen staff had ignored him as he puttered around beneath their feet but Hiiro was used to that. Hiiro had authority in name only, and the village showed that by leaving him to his own devices for the most part. “It’s just a sandwich and salad but I used all your favourite things!” He finishes proudly, holding the tray out for Rinne to take.

“Did you make something for yourself too?” His brother asks instead of taking the tray and Hiiro pauses, tilting his head.

“No?” The food was for Rinne, why would Hiiro make something for himself?

“Have you eaten yet?”

“I was making food for you!” And he’d been doing other tasks before that, it’s been a rather busy morning after all.

It wasn’t like Hiiro felt that hungry anyways, his brother’s well-being was much more important to him.

“I see.” Rinne replies, and though his grin remains in place he feels further away than he did moments ago.

Hiiro’s hands grip the tray tighter, Hiiro thought he understood his brother better than most people in their village but that did not make him faultless. But he was supposed to be, needed to be, how else could his brother know to rely on him for his each and every whim?

“I can go make myself something right now, if you want?” He offers but Rinne only sighs, shaking his head.

“No it’s fine, we can just share what you made.” Rinne replies instead, waving him over as he walks over to sit over the porch overlooking the garden.

“But I made this for you!” Hiiro protests, quickly following behind without thought.

“Mhmm,” Rinne hums, plopping himself down with ease. Hiiro copies him more sedately, careful with the tray still in his hands, “You sure did, and since it’s mine I get to decide what to do with it right?”

“I… I suppose.” Hiiro agrees. His brother was always right, but it still felt wrong to take what was his, even with his permission.

“Exactly, and I want you to share my food with me, so it’s fine.” Rinne continues, voice dripping with the confidence that always left Hiiro in awe. That assured him that Rinne would one day make the most amazing monarch they’ve ever had.

Hiiro nods despite his hesitance, but his brother's smile no longer feels quite so cold so he knows it’s the right choice. Finally, his brother takes the tray from him offering him half the sandwich as he does. Hiiro takes it, holding it in his hands, and simply stares at it.

While Hiiro appreciates his brother’s gesture, even though he does not understand the need for it, he still does not particularly want to eat this. He had catered the sandwich to his brother’s tastes, and there were one or two things in it that he could not eat without feeling a bit queasy.

Still, it was Rinne’s order that he eat this, so Hiiro has no place to question or deny him.

However, as he goes to take the first bite Rinne plucks it from his grasp, placing it back on the tray beside his own already bitten into half. Hiiro watches with curious eyes, neither upset nor bothered by this. It’s his brother’s right to do whatever he wanted, both with what was his, and Hiiro himself.

Without a word Rinne removes the top slice of Hiiro’s half, carefully removing all the parts Hiiro cannot eat before handing it back to him.

It is not until the sandwich is back in his hands that Hiiro finds his words again. “Nii-san! You didn’t have to do that I could’ve eaten it.”

“Or you could have removed it yourself.” Rinne replies, watching him carefully, but Hiiro simply shakes his head.

What right did Hiiro have to refuse what his brother requested of him? To change or modify his requests even slightly?

“Hiiro,” his brother sighs, “you can do things just for you sometimes, you know? Just because you want to.”

“I want to be useful to you!” Hiiro grins, being needed by his brother made Hiiro the happiest. To fulfill his duty to assist his brother for the rest of his life was all Hiiro would ever need. There was nothing else for him anyways, that was his future set-in stone already.

That he enjoys doing it just shows it was what he was born to do.

“I mean things that have nothing to do with me Hiiro, maybe even something I wouldn’t like.” Rinne clarifies, voice far too serious for something so ridiculous.

“I was born to be everything you could possibly need Nii-san, why would I ever do something like that?”

Rinne sighs, muttering something under his breath that Hiiro does not quite catch, though his brother's grin when he reaches over to ruffle his hair reassures him that it is not for any wrongdoing on Hiiro’s part.

Hiiro wouldn’t know what to do if his brother was ever disappointed in him, or no longer needed him by his side.

“You were born to be my cute and happy little brother, none of that extra stuff.” He replies, still ruffling Hiiro’s hair around.

“Nii-san I do not like to disagree with you but we both know that is not true.” Rinne’s eyes look almost indulgent as Hiiro speaks, like it’s some silly joke that Rinne is humouring. It is one of the many things about Rinne that leave Hiiro confused no matter how hard he tries to understand.

“Well, we’ll simply have to see about that.” Rinne says, voice far too confident for the ridiculousness of his statement.

Still, Hiiro nods, agreeing with his brother. Whatever his brother decides Hiiro will support, he cannot even begin to imagine a world where that would not be true.

Their days would continue like this forever, and Hiiro could imagine nothing better.

(But then.

Then.

What is Hiiro supposed to do when that is no longer the case?

When his brother disappears without a trace, taking Hiiro’s very reason for being with him?

Just what is Hiiro supposed to do then?

Who is Hiiro, then, without his brother there?

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t.

But he knows he needs his brother back, no matter what the village says.

It is the first time he goes against his village’s teachings

It will not be the last. )

Hiiro does not even have a fraction of the teachings and lessons his brother has. Hiiro is taught what is necessary, the basics, the fundamentals, and some things not at all (not that he would know). This is fine by him, his elders would not lead him astray, would not teach him lies.

Hiiro’s whole world is this village, and he loves and trusts it with all he is.

Knows everything they tell him to be true and correct.

Which is why he sits on the ground legs bent beneath him and back straight as he listens to today’s lesson. While his brother was taught how to be a good monarch, Hiiro learned everything he needed to be a good right hand, tool, weapon, shield, anything his brother might need in the future.

Learned everything about why he was here, and what he was meant to do.

And Hiiro listened to these lessons attentively until his legs burned beneath him and his back ached for relief. He’d learned early on that slacking off or feeling tired would not be excused. And why would it be? These lessons were setting him up for his future, there was no leeway for mistakes, for lack of care. Hiiro’s hometown raises him and shows him what and who he will be—that he will never be more or less than that.

Hiiro understood that which is why no matter how early or how late or if he felt sick or nauseous that day Hiiro came when called and listened with everything he had. Hiiro loves his brother, he could not disappoint him by being a poor student.

He drinks up these lessons like water, teachings from his parents, from his elders, from his teachers. Anyone who will offer Hiiro a word on how he should be, who he should be, Hiiro listens with rapt attention. Hiiro was brought into this world for a purpose he has to complete perfectly, wants to complete perfectly.

As he grows older, stronger, he only grows more and more assured in this. Every lesson and word and breath beat into his skull like a drum. All he can and will be burned into his brain never to be forgotten.

Hiiro was born to serve his brother, to assist the future in any and every way possible.

Everything Rinne tells him to do he must, he has no right to question him.

A million little rules he practices like breathing since birth until he can imagine no other way of being. Doesn’t even want to.

Hiiro has followed the rules and order laid out for him and in return knows he is doing right, knows he is correct. He is brought up in blacks and whites and those are the only shades he has ever known.

There is no questioning any of this, and Hiiro does not. But…

But.

Rinne does. Always asks Hiiro questions he cannot answer, shrugs off the comments and complaints of their elders as easily as Hiiro listens to their every word like the obedient child he is. Rinne runs and shirks from their traditions and goes off to places no one can find, not even Hiiro. Laughs at Hiiro’s reprimands while looking at him with eyes that see a world Hiiro cannot hope to breach.

The older they get the further his brother seems, but Hiiro is still here, still doing his best to be everything his brother needs, even when he’s unsure what that is.

He doesn’t know what to do with the fact that his life says one thing while Rinne says another. But Rinne does not make demands of him, does not order him, simply asks and asks even when Hiiro has no answers to give. So Hiiro continues to live the only way he knows how, does his best to make his brother happy even when he feels like he’s missing something.

It is all Hiiro can do. Until Rinne takes up the mantle of monarch and makes his wants so clear that Hiiro can finally understand. And hope that at that point in time Hiiro will be good enough to fulfill that wish.

(And yet.

Yet.

When he finally finds his brother after chasing him all around this confusing new world. When his brother looks at him, and does exactly what Hiiro has been hoping for this entire time—he tosses him away in that same breath.

Looks at Hiiro and tells him he is unnecessary, unneeded, useless.

Hiiro who has done everything in his power to be useful, helpful, needed by his brother. Hiiro who has done everything right by their hometown’s standards, wishes, demands.

Was that enough? Had he done something wrong here? His brother was confusing to him now, this world made little sense to him, he knew the concept of idols was not the malicious entity he had imagined. But then what could explain this? What else would make Rinne look at him and decide he is not worth keeping at his side.

What was Hiiro then, if not an existence to be by Rinne’s side?

Rinne said it like it was a gift, some honour he bestowed upon him as he banished Hiiro from their family, from their home, from their village, from everything he had ever known. And for all that Hiiro had come to enjoy his time here it was not his home, not where he was supposed to be. Meant to be.

And yet, his voice does not come out, cannot even think of questioning his brother's orders no matter how much he dislikes them.

Even if his brother does not need him, all Hiiro knows is to be needed by him.

So even until the final moment it is all he can think to do.

And for once, he wished himself capable of doing otherwise.

And he had no idea what to do with that feeling.)

The hours after pass in a blur.

Hiiro does not remember leaving, if he ran or walked or stood there frozen and terrified while his brother walked away from him for good. Hiiro just remembers fear and desolation building in him the more his brother talked. Just remembers searching and searching for a reason, what he had done wrong, what he could to fix it. But he could not comprehend what was happening then, could not comprehend it now.

He shivers, it had been warm earlier with the sun blazing above him but now cool winds blew and the thin fabric of his uniform offered little protection. It was fine, cooler air would help him clear his head, help him make sense of it all.

Help him figure out why he was no longer good enough.

Why he was so useless that his brother saw no other recourse than to discard him under the disguise of some sort of gift.

His hands clench, hard enough that his nails dig in and sting. Hiiro was weak, in mind body and spirit, it was the only real explanation. That he had gone so wrong that his brother that had always claimed to love him had abandoned him.

He didn’t understand, love was a concept too nebulous for him to grasp. He had thought often when he was younger that he loved Rinne, Rinne was his everything after all. But as he got older it never felt quite right. What he felt was different then what Rinne meant when he said it to him, what the villagers meant when they said it to their family. Even here, he failed to grasp how idols and their fans said it so easily, how Aira used the word like a catchphrase. Was that part of the issue, was Hiiro failing at something so fundamentally basic that his brother could not forgive? Hiiro has felt so lost since coming here.

In this confusing new world that constantly contradicts that which he has always known. He should have been able to look to his brother for guidance. His brother to whom he should always listen, his brother who can do no wrong, because all he says is right. Nii-san please , Hiiro had thought, still thinks , just tell me what it is I’m supposed to do to make things right . But his brother did not answer, ran further away the more he chased. Left him floundering by himself, alone with unknown choices.

He shivers again, and knows it is not from the cold.

Where does Hiiro go from here? What is the point if Hiiro is no longer ne—

“—Hiro!” Comes Aira’s voice, suddenly at his side, didn’t sense him coming even though Aira is often so loud and clumsy with his steps. And he thinks, I should greet him, as is proper, say hello, apologize, anything. Hiiro always does things correctly, always does things the right way as he has been taught. Yet here again he fails, voice refusing to come out, his mind whirring with too many thoughts.

So instead, he listens, he can do that much. Be an attentive listener, a good friend. He can be at least that right? He’s never had a friend before, isn’t sure what to compare it to.

But even here he fails, ran away when they needed him, never returned, Hiiro could not protect his brother, could not protect the friends he had made here from the doomed fate that loomed over them. His brother had ordered him to stay here, to live the life he was leading with the rest of Alkaloid, but if he could not be counted on at the most vital step then what right did he have to stand here at all? Hiiro was not good enough to be needed by his brother and he wasn’t good enough to be useful for Alkaloid either, it seemed. Aira, Mayoi, Tatsumi, they were all working so hard to assure their future, that they would still have a place to belong when this was all over.

And what was Hiiro doing? He didn’t understand why this was so important, why they were all trying so hard. Couldn’t even be counted on.

Even without him they would…

“Huh? Just what are you talking about?” Aira protests, and Hiiro blinks, not even really aware he had even spoken aloud. But even so Aira continues, reprimanding him in a way he has long since grown accustomed to. It was simply the way Aira spoke, and Hiiro was used to accommodating others to make them happy. So as he said he would, he listens. Takes Aira’s complaints to heart because he’s right, has every right to be upset with him, to be annoyed by his careless remark.

“… I can’t do this without you, Hiro. So please… I don’t know what happened, I can’t even imagine it, but please stay with us. Don’t just disappear without warning. I’m begging you.” Aira concludes, and Hiiro’s heart stutters, reaching and grasping for the small thread of something that Aira’s statement lights in him.

“… You need me, Aira?” He asks, his voice too quiet even for his ears yet when the words leave him his throat burns like they have just finished practicing for the day. Feels like his whole body is trembling with the question, braced for the answer.

Aira looks at him oddly in response, lips pursed. “I said what I just said. Do you need something more?”

And it is not quite the answer he wanted, but it is still enough to calm down some of this wild unsettled feeling in him. To allow some part of him that felt so far away to settle down and allow him to focus and speak a bit more properly.

Yet still it is not enough, still he hesitates, feels lost and unsure. A friend in front of him who has searched who knows how long to find him and Hiiro cannot even leave his own misery and confusion long enough to appreciate it. He does not deserve Aira, or the kindness and worry that any of the members of Alkaloid extend to him. But still for some reason he cannot let it go.

Hiiro has never been as alone as he is right now, and despite every reason he should, why he does not deserve them, Hiiro cannot find it in him to lose this too.

Perhaps that is why he cannot stop himself from latching onto Aira, wrapping him into a hug. Even while the words to explain his situation fail to find him he takes Aira’s comfort and support.

Perhaps that is why despite the fact he should not accept it he allows Aira to take him on his back and carry him home. Aira who is so much smaller and weaker than him, Hiiro who should never be so weak as to need help like this. Hiiro who has not been carried like this since he was young and small and Rinne would take him away from prying his eyes on his back just like this. A million reasons that he has learned since he was old enough to understand as to why he should not be so vulnerable as to allow such a request to even be made and still he accepts.

Buries his face into the crook of Aira’s neck and closes his eyes. Allows the gentle sway of the wind and slight unevenness of Aira’s steps beneath his weight to calm his racing heart and mind.

Tries to pretend for just a moment that maybe everything will be okay.

That there’s still something he can do to fix this.

There just has to be.

(There is a small little voice in him, that grows louder with each and every passing moment.

That cries out a call too shameful to be him but cannot be denied.

Need me, he wants to say, to his brother, to Alkaloid, to anyone who will listen. Need me. I can be useful, I can be helpful, whatever you need. Please don’t leave me behind. Please don’t throw me away, please. The words bubble just beneath the surface, wanting to burst free into the world.

It is a desperate and pathetic cry that feels shameful to even think about, and yet is still there, a part of him he is unable to deny.

Hiiro was born and made to be helpful and supportive and needed.

Needs to be needed.

Or else he doesn’t know how to live.

Was never taught how; it wasn’t supposed to be something he needed to know.)

Even after Tatsumi had explained it to him, what he thought was going on with Rinne, why he had done things the way he had. Hiiro struggles to really understand.

He tosses and turns in his bed, worries and anxieties he had never felt before refusing to let him rest, whirring his thoughts in one direction and then another. Enough that Hiiro gives up on rest in general, rising from his bed to go for a walk to try to calm his racing thoughts.

He moves quietly, not wanting to bother his unit mates more than he already had, shutting the door silently behind him and heading for the stairs.

Tatsumi said his brother’s actions towards him, at the end and all throughout, had been for him. For his benefit, because he cared about him. That Rinne’s path of destruction had been his own, his carefully calculated plan. And to that extent Hiiro could understand, his brother had always been smart, had always been great at planning and seeing things Hiiro couldn’t. From the start Hiiro could guess his brother was playing at a grander scale than Hiiro could visualize, it would not have been the first time. That his brother’s actions were intentional, that his self-destruction was a sacrifice for his people here in the city, that made sense to him. Coincided with the image Hiiro had always held of him, of the great wonderful big brother he was, of the magnificent monarch he would one day be—was off to be right now, Hiiro supposes.

This Hiiro could understand, but…

What Rinne had done to him… for him.

Tatsumi had said it was all done for Hiiro’s benefit, to protect him as best as he could from everything that was going on around him. Hiiro might not have understood what was going on but Rinne had, and if Tatsumi was right then Rinne had specifically planned all of this with Hiiro in mind as well, to give him the best ending in all of this that he could.

Rinne had said this was a gift, of giving Hiiro everything Rinne thought he deserved, everything Rinne had always wanted to give him.

Hiiro still didn’t understand what the gift was.

How any of this was of benefit to him.

It was what confused him the most, what he had been trying his hardest to try to understand. What he understood, even if just a bit now, is that his brother had never been happy, not in their hometown, not with the person Hiiro had been moulded into being by their village. Every action Hiiro had done in hopes of being useful to his brother, to be the much needed aid and shield his brother was supposed to have when he ascended as Monarch, had meant nothing to his brother. Or worse, had been hated by Rinne even.

Freedom, Rinne had called it. But what was that, how did Hiiro achieve it? If he enjoyed his life as his brother had asked of him, if he found the freedom his brother had ordered him to have would he then take him back?

Perhaps this was a test he had been given? A final way to prove his loyalty to his brother. If it were true then that would make sense to Hiiro, would work into everything he had been taught.

But that was the issue, no? His brother had no love for their hometown’s teaching, had run away from them specifically because all of it was far too suffocating for him. No matter how much more this way of thinking would make sense to him, it wasn’t what Rinne had meant.

Hiiro’s brain did not think in the ways that seemed necessary to live and survive in this new world. Perhaps that was the problem, not with this city, not with his brother, but with him.

With the way he was taught. But that… that was even harder to believe because if it was true then what did that say about everything Hiiro had based his entire self on?

He takes a breath.

It was not all wrong, it couldn’t be, there were still truths there, still things that applied both here and there. He could not let himself get lost in these thoughts. As confusing as this was, Hiiro had things to focus on here and now, to not let his friends down.

They still needed him, and Hiiro would not disappoint them like had his brother.

“Hey~” Aira calls, voice cheerier than Hiiro would expect at this time of night. He startles, pushing his thoughts away as worry for his friend overwhelms him. It was late, dangerous even, for someone as weak and defenseless as Aira.

But Aira waves his concerns away, reminding him of where they are, that he is not a child to be protected. Hiiro smiles, his friend was smart, understood things in a way Hiiro simply couldn’t, was still struggling with even beginning to comprehend.

Hiiro loves him, he thinks, loves his friends. As much as Hiiro is capable of loving, anyways. He had never been allowed to have such a thing back home. And he wondered sometimes, what it would be like to have grown up playing with the other kids in the village, to have been allowed to talk to people who were not his family or his teachers. His brother was his world, but in a time too far gone for Hiiro to properly understand he remembers… wondering.

So it was nice, to have them now, a much better and kinder experience than he could have ever imagined on his own. And it makes his heart soar to hear Aira reciprocate that feeling. To hear Aira talk about how happy he was to have met him, all of Alkaloid, after having felt alone for so long. How happy he was to specifically have Hiiro here with him, that he had not left them, left Aira.

“I’ll be lonely if you’re gone, Hiro.” Aira concludes, voice soft and gentle.

Hiiro’s heart thuds in his chest, palms opening and closing. “Do you need me, Aira?” He asks again, voice just as soft, not quite as gentle.

His brother did not need him, had cast him aside, but if Hiiro could just devote himself to someone new maybe things would make more sense. Could find some solid ground again.

“Why do you keep asking that over and over again?” Aira replies instead, answering his question with a question. “I don’t like that word, ‘need’,” he elaborates with a shake of his head, “it sounds too snobbish for me.

“I’m your friend, Hiro, so I want to be with you. At least, that’s how I feel.”

And even as Aira continues, Hiiro’s thoughts linger there. To want, to not need, to do something out of desire and not necessity.

It’s not a concept Hiiro had any familiarity with.

Had never been something he was allowed to have.

“So, what about you, what do you want to do next, Hiro?” Aira asks. “How do you want to live your life?”

It was something his brother had asked him before. More than once. What do you want to be in the future? Who do you want to be? What is it that you want, Hiiro? Something that has nothing to do with me, or the village, something just for you. Tell me. They were questions that Hiiro had never had an answer to. Had never seen the point of answering.

But here he is, with no choice left but to answer.

Nothing left of the world he knew, just one left for him to make.

“Don’t decide on something because of others’ orders. Don’t simply take on something because that’s how things went in your hometown. You have to think with your own brain and make up your own mind.”

But how can Hiiro explain that he doesn’t know how to do that. That the thought is far too frightening to broach.

But he supposes he doesn’t have a choice left to make here. So he simply has to do his best, and trust in Aira when he tells him that he and the rest of Alkaloid will do their best to help him. That they will not abandon him, that they will do their best to stay by his side.

Wanting is a confusing topic still.

But Hiiro can believe, Hiiro can hope, and he guesses that can be his first step towards the Freedom his brother has apparently gifted onto him.

(The thing is, Hiiro’s hometown taught him everything he knows. How to be good and useful and needed. Taught him their laws in black and white. It is all he has ever known, all he thought he’d ever need to know.

But it never told him that when he runs and leaves to bring his brother home the world outside will be painted in shades of gray. That the world is not written in a simple set of rules that must be followed to achieve happiness. Didn’t tell him what he’s supposed to do in this confusing new world all on his own. And while he might’ve initially thought he could look to Rinne for those answers it’s become more than clear to him by now that it’s not going to happen. That Rinne wants him to figure this all out on his own.

So then, all Hiiro can do is take that first step himself. Come to his own decisions.

Face this new world with open eyes and understand it for himself, not, as Aira had said, through what he taught or what his village would want.

And yet, what is he supposed to do when every path he thinks of keeps going against all he was taught. What is he supposed to do when he learns that their concealed small little world hid a whole universe from his eyes. It feels like Hiiro has learned more in the past few weeks than he learned in the last few years back home.

It’s not like he hadn’t thought this before, but now Hiiro sits with it, and tries to really think about all he has seen and experienced in this past while, it’s hard to ignore.

In this world there is no Monarch, in this land ruled by democracy as long as one abides by the laws of the world you are your own Monarch. You made your own rules.

Which meant Hiiro made his own rules.

It was overwhelming.

What do you want? His brother asks, Aira asks. A question Hiiro had never understood, Hiiro did not want. Hiiro was told what he wanted and needed and the answer to that was that Hiiro wanted and needed what his brother told him. But Rinne did not want that for him, Aira told him that wasn’t right either.

So what did Hiiro want?

How did one even decide what to want to want? Was it okay to ask? Was he stupid for not knowing?

Hiiro had always known he was stupid, but it felt so much worse now.

What do you want?

Tell me Hiiro, what is it that you want?

The question circles in his head around and around until sleep finally takes him for the night.

Hiiro wants things to make sense again. )

Hiiro sits on the bed in their dorm room, staring at his hands in his lap. The rest of Alkaloid sit on the bed across from him, waiting, expectant.

Anzu had excused herself after their talk, assured him that whatever he had planned was probably fine with her, and if it wasn’t she would deal with it. She had been too busy to stay any longer.

That was fine, it would be easier to explain to just Alkaloid, he trusted them, his fellow unit mates that had stood by his side all this time.

Aira’s foot taps on the ground, Hiiro tries his best to believe it has nothing to do with how long he’s taking to start. His hands shake, anxious energy buzzing through him.

Hiiro could not remember a time he had ever felt scared or nervous, and yet here it was now, suffocating him.

“Hiiro-san.” Tatsumi says, his voice firm, and Hiiro blinks, looking at him. Tatsumi’s face is stern before him, and from behind he can see Mayoi’s hesitant concern, Aira hidden behind Tatsumi’s frame. He blinks again, taking in the gentle pressure Tatsumi places at his hands and his gaze flickers down to them.

Ah, he thinks distantly, staring at the way his thumb has dug into his opposite hands palm for long enough and with enough force that the skin around it is white. When he looks up again Tatsumi’s smile is gentle, and he stares lost, feeling as Tatsumi pulls his hands apart.

“I’m sorry.” He says softly, “I’m not sure why I did that.” Couldn’t even remember initiating the action.

“There is no need to apologize,” Tatsumi says, his hands around his as gentle as his smile. “Are you ready to speak, or do you need a while longer?”

The question feels like an offer, not chiding or prodding, like the three of them really would wait however long it would take him to find the words. It makes him feel warm, the anxious energy buzzing through him calming just a bit.

“I’m fine,” Hiiro assures, voice coming out stronger than he thought it would, helps him feel a little bit steadier, “don’t worry about me I’m okay. I can talk.”

Tatsumi watches him steadily and Hiiro grins, meaning it truly and dearly.

“Alright, if you’re sure.” Tatsumi says, stepping away, doing an odd motion with his hand if he does.

Mayoi is almost trembling when Tatsumi sits beside him. Hand shaking by his face like it is taking an effort to avoid biting down on his nails. “Don’t force yourself alright, Hiiro-san, really, the energy in this room is enough to make me faint.” Mayoi says, voice quivering and breaking off into a shrill breath at the end.

“I apologize, my friends.” He says loudly, pounding his fist to his chest, the action sudden enough that both Mayoi and Aira jerk in surprise. “I have left you all worried and anxious with my attitude. There might be no need to express my apologies here but I would like to offer them anyways, because you are all dear to me and I do not wish to trouble you. I thank you for your care and kindness, it means a lot to me.”

No one other than his brother had ever really cared about him, and it was only now that Hiiro was truly beginning to appreciate that. What it meant then, what it means to have more people now.

“You don’t have to thank us for that Hiro.” Aira chides, though his cheeks are flushed as he speaks.

“As your friends we are happy to help you anyway we can.” Tatsumi agrees, Mayoi nodding his head feverishly beside him.

“I understand that better now.” Hiiro agrees, “Which is why I would like to ask you for something, a selfish request of mine.”

The word tasted odd on his tongue, Hiiro had never even had the opportunity to be selfish before, yet there was no other word for it. For what he wanted to do, for the feeling that welled up in him.

It did not feel… bad. Perhaps sometimes selfishness could be its own form of kindness?

He wasn’t sure, was still learning, but now wasn’t the time to ask.

“What is it?”

“I would like to… I want…” his voice trails off.

He had slept little even after finally getting to sleep, woken up early by his thoughts, and thought on it until he had an answer.

What do you want to do, Hiiro?

What is it you want?

He thinks he knows, at least something for right now. And he’s sure that later on this will be harder, it is not even easy now. Even this feels strange, as sure as he feels as he is. But right now Hiiro is almost sure he wants this, has always wanted this.

Hiiro had once told his brother that he wanted to make him happy. It hadn’t made his brother happy back then, and Hiiro understood now it was because Hiiro had said that because it was he was told he should, not because he felt that way.

But he wanted to, really. His brother had told him that he wanted to give him everything the world had to offer, every sparkling and shiny thing he wanted to gift Hiiro. That this act was his last effort in trying to provide that.

Because Rinne loved this world, this sparkling world of love and idols that Hiiro was still struggling with. And he was leaving it, for Hiiro, for Rinne’s unit. Hiiro admired his decision as the Monarch’s aid. But he was no longer that, was he? So then, as someone who had grown up as Rinne’s brother, Hiiro wanted to give it all back, to let Rinne live in this shiny world he had run away to escape to. And though that action would disappoint his village, Hiiro was sure, it was the course of action Hiiro wanted to take.

His brother’s happiness meant more to him than the ‘right’ thing to do. So Hiiro would do what he could to make him happy again, that was what he wanted to do.

Even if his brother would not like it.

His brother had told him before after all, that he was allowed to do what he liked, even if it would displease him.

So Hiiro would.

“Is this about your brother?” Aira asks, interrupting Hiiro’s thoughts. “Because I don’t forgive him, you know.”

“Aira-san...” Mayoi mumbles.

“Well it’s true! He hurt people, and especially Hiro; he’s been sad and mopey ever since they spoke! No matter how much Rinne says he loves him I won’t forgive that.” Aira huffs, crossing his arms.

Hiiro laughs, perhaps louder than necessary. Normally he would’ve defended his brother, a part of him wanted to, might even still, but at the moment more prominently Hiiro felt so happy that Aira cared that much for him, that they all did.

“Aira is right, my brother hurt many people, and they are all within their rights to be angry with him, to want to discard him.” Hiiro begins as his laughter subsides. “But, even so, I want to save him, to give him the place here he has always wanted. And that is something I want to do, something I have decided on all on my own.” He finishes proudly. The more Hiiro thought the more he appreciated everything Rinne had done for him back home, none of it necessary when Hiiro was supposed to be nothing more than his shadow, his aid, his shield, but because Rinne wanted to. Because Rinne loved him. And Hiiro wanted to show that he did too, loved his wonderful caring and kind older brother.

“Ugh,” Aira groans, “well when you put it like that what else am I supposed to say.”

“As I’m sure Aira-san means, if that’s what you want, we will support you Hiiro-san.” Tatsumi says.

“Yes!” Mayoi agrees hastily. “I know I have not been the most useful here, but however I can help, I will. Use me as you wish.”

Hiiro licks his lips, a quieter kind of worry rushing through him. “I’m glad, but... are you sure? This will not be easy, and if it goes wrong I’m sure we will not be looked on kindly for trying to help someone who is so hated. We are barely getting by right now, this is my desire, my wish, but I don’t want to take you all down with me either.”

“We’re a unit, Hiro.” Aira says, looking not quite annoyed.

“And that means we will listen to your plan and play it out as you wish, but we’re in this together no matter what. There’s no reason to all we have done, all the sacrifices we have made, and struggles we have survived, if at the end it’s just us three without you Hiiro-san.” Tatsumi agrees.

“It’s as, ah, other units might say,” Mayoi says, biting his thumb, “all for one and one for all right?”

“Thanks, you all.” Hiiro says, and the words do not express how happy he feels even as he begins to explain his plan.

It is the lightest he’s felt since his confrontation with Rinne, perhaps the lightest he’s felt since arriving here at all.

Things will be okay, he’s sure.

It’s what he wants after all, so he’s going to give it his all to make sure it happens.

#ensemble stars #hiiro amagi #rinne amagi #aira shiratori #and the rest of alkaloid but these our are main guys #hiiro has 100000 issues #and i love that for him #txtbloggin #my writing

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funtaleau · 2 years

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This is a vent and I QUIT

I censor some words specially the characters related not because its bad words but because no matter how right I am, MOST PEOPLE WILL ONLY HELP THE BAD GUY. I just want to work my story in peace without any IDIOTS STEALING MY IDEAS AND SLAP OVERLY SEXUAL LOOK THEN MAKE PEOPLE ATTACK ME FOR STUPID REASON. Funny because the person who steal my work once said that they will respect me better, so respectful indeed :)

I couldn't tell who is this person cause if i did, I fear that most people would turn against me. Im not dealing with some random cringe person who likes to copy other stuff but this time Im dealing with a quite well known person in the UT community, at least since early this year- But In short This person I once called friend. When we first meet they said that they found my work to be quite interesting and they wish to know "more". I was still very excited at the time because we rarely see AUs or UT stories that mostly focus on the pacifist side without much angst or skeletons that are too OP to die But

welp i fell for the oldest trick in the book and this person stole most of my ideas and design and since they are quite popular their stolen work get known much easier while for me are left rotting in the back. I tried to solve this problem In a more calm way but this person really loves to play acting saying things like "I Will respect you more", "Im sorry It wouldn't happen again" , and the worst excuse of all "You don't have to be mad, Im just an underrated artist".... Hmmmmyes 2K followers are consider to be underrated. Not to mention they are quite a pervert too And unfortunately they continue their stupidity. I tried to call for help but most people didn't want to help me "because they are better than me", or "because they help me once", and "Everyone can have that idea, its not yours to claim" . Just because someone help you that doesn't Mean you owe your whole life for them, That's just plain stupid logic. And that came from people who i consider as "friend".

When this person finally got what they deserve, those "friends" i said earlier back them up for a very stupid excuse. I know there are artist who also Made suggestive and nsfw arts and myself too are not against that (except if its about things that are wrong like weird fetishes and pedo-) but drawing nsfw content and exposing it to kids are FRICKING WRONG. Either with their Consent or not that's are so WRONG. Let alone not even care to put a single warning but instead putting even more dirty caption like "Big booba lady" or "I want to squeeze it" are just...... I don't think this is humanity anymore but cant even call it monstrocity either. Its just stupidity

Im just tired of people with 0 mind of thinking. I've been working for my story since 2019 1 while this clone exist just early this year. the person who copy me left the server and fricking blocked me on their social so I cant do .much I tried to ask for help but all I receive from my "friends" is that they are busy. but when this clone guy make something wrong they all help them... just wow.. fricking WOW I had enough.... just enough is enough now that's why I stop making UT content since weeks ago cause I just had enough with this non sense. I don't have anymore will to continue my work anymore If people just want to make STUPID comparison about what obviously plagiarism. people defending them for even more stupid reason "Because they're art style are better than you" and "everyone can have that idea, its not yours to claim" also "they're just Inspired" Inspire WHAT? they upload the overly sexual clone right in front of my eyes and say nothing about "this is inspired from" NO.. all they say is how BIG the Breast are and how much they want to sleep on/squeeze it. FRICKING CREEPS

they are so respectful that they don't need to credit the owner and yep. Im just had enough with this I think imma stop making UT contents for god who knows how long cause im TIRED. I might post some art but they are not Undertale related... Im so sorry. "Im just jealous"... OF COURSE IM JEALOUS what did you expect me to feel??? I work so hard and have to deal with already frustrating pressure from parents and college to create something new and unique but only for someone who I once consider as "friend" stab me in the back and steal my character and ideas then get all the fame and credits for it while Im left to rot with nothing but those stupid comments.

after this I will not be working on Funtale anymore but I've given this AU to a friend @thelazysense . Im so sorry but I just couldn't deal with this much pressure.

#i gave up #venting #im tired #personal vent

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mynameis-a · 9 months

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rambling about levels in apeirophobia because i have nothing better to do with my time!

i played this game religiously back in march/april, and i've gotten to know the levels very well. (i've been accused of speedrunning multiple times because of how quickly i managed to get through some of the levels /srs) but i havent played it in quite a while.

(and for those who don't know [aka most people probably]: apeirophobia is a backrooms game on roblox. seeing as apeirophobia is the fear of infinity or endlessness, i think its very fitting for a game about being trapped in seemingly endless liminal spaces)

(also this is very long i'm sorry)

level 0: lobby [4/10]

definitely not the best level.

once you get spotted by the entity, you really just cant get away unless you have the gamepasses that give you more speed and stamina (at least i think that would work? i don't actually have the game passes so i'm not quite sure)

i do like the layout of the map though. as long as i don't run into the entity, i can get through that level pretty quickly!

level 1: the poolrooms [7/10]

its very easy to do in multiplayer, but i can't do it solo. (thats most levels to be fair though)

i know the exact locations of all the valves you need to find! one of them is on the left side of the map, while the other 4 are one after the other along the right wall (leading to the exit). most people either don't know or forget about the 5th one, so i always go for that one. it makes the level go so much faster when the group doesn't have to go back and try to find the last one!

but if people are whistling and drawing the starfish towards the spawn hallway before anyone has a chance to get out, any like i have for this level just goes out the window.

and speaking of the metaphorical window,

level 2: the windows [5/10]

theres literally nothing to even say about this level.

its just 30 seconds maximum of running.

no obstacles, no entities, no nothing.

i mean its kinda fun to race the other players but thats it.

ranking this higher than the lobby because this one isnt annoying.

level 3: abandoned office [5/10]

i either really really like playing this level, or really really hate it. which is why it gets a 5/10.

when people do nothing but distracting the hound, leaving me to carry everyone else by getting the keys and buttons? those are the best. i genuinely love carrying in this game! i know where all the buttons are, and having someone take the hounds attention away from me makes it so much easier than if everyone was trying to find stuff at once! plus i know what buttons have been pressed and what keys have been found.

when i get to be the distraction, that's also not so bad! i like to lure the hound far into the spawn hallway so that the other players can run faster without needing to worry about it. sometimes i do die, i'm not that good, but being farther into thehallway also means i can immediately run to the exit when all the buttons are pressed!

when everyone is doing their own thing, that's when i hate it. no communication whatsoever. nobody knows who has the keys, or what buttons have been pressed, and everyone keeps dying to the hound. and considering as this is the majority of the servers i've played this level on, it just makes me not want to play it as much.

honestly, i would prefer to play this level with 3 people who have never even gotten to this level before that just let me carry them, than a bunch of "pros" that don't even realize that they have one of the keys on them.

level 4: the sewers [8/10]

this is the level that makes people think i'm a pro.

i have joined so so many rooms when people couldn't get past this level because its such a long and complicated maze (which it is) and the i show up and beat it easily.

i actually went to the wiki and looked at a map of the maze while playing it myself on a single player server. and if there's one thing i'm good at, its remembering random shit. in this case, it just so happens to be the way out!

i'm not perfect, there are a few parts that i keep forgetting where to go (and considering as i havent played this game for a couple months, i'm probably worse now.) but most of the time i still get through very quickly!

a singular point is being taken off due to me not having enough stamina to keep running. i already black out constantly in real life, i dont need that in a video game too! /lh

level 5: cave system [6/10]

i have mixed feelings about this level

on the one hand, the concept of the skin stealer thing is really cool! granted its kinda dumb in single player, but in multiplayer it makes it so much harder (in a good way). plus, i really like the map layout! even though i keep getting lost.

on the other, its just like the lobby in the sense that there's nowhere to hide from it. and since its the same size as a player, it can just follow you everywhere. also the bland white player model for the skin thing is pretty boring.

level 6: !!!!!!!!! [9/10]

another one i really like! one point off for not having enough stamina (like the sewers).

oh no! theres a large creature running after us! and the lights are all red! and theres loud emergency sirens going off!! clearly this level is extremely difficult, right? wrong.

it takes several seconds for the thing to actually start coming after us, plus its really slow. the red lights and sirens only serve to make you think its really dangerous.

most of the people who die on this level either dont know the layout and get stuck on the obstacles, are lagging and get stuck on the obstacles, or aren't good with the movement controls (mainly mobile or console players) and get stuck on the obstacles. once you beat the level once or twice, you figure out how it works and don't get stuck as often.

"but it sounds like its right behind us!" the entire map is us turning corners in a long hallway. if its in the hallway beside us (that we've already ran though), its going to sound much closer than it actually is, because its right beside us. not behind us.

this isnt actually me complaining about this levels difficulty. the fact that the entire level is designed to make you panic about a threat thats much more mild than you would expect? i actually love that! its purposely trying to stress you out and it works! (until you know about it that is)

maze + psycologically affecting the player + not needing to hide or gather items = 10/10 level in my book!!

but like in the sewers, i keep running out of stamina and blacking out. so minus 1 point for that.

level 7: the end? [9/10]

its a puzzle map!!!! and i've gotten really good at figuring it out!!

the only complaint i have is that the part with the book is soo time consuming. i have to look at the book, memorize a code, run over to the door, try the code, and pray that it works. otherwise its back to the book again.

thankfully, i have 2 monitors. so i can take a screenshot of the book, run to the door, and try all the codes i need without having to run back to the book.

still annoying though, so a point removed.

level 8: lights out [2/10]

there's only one level i hate more than this one.

its pitch dark, your flashlight does jack shit unless you're near a wall, and the stupid potato sack just loves camping the ONLY PLACE you can go to access the second half of the map. you know. the second half of the map where the exit is located???

like with the sewers, i have (mostly) memorized the way through the level. but unless there's someone distracting the sack thing, which typically there isn't, its going to take a long time to beat. if we even get that far.

also, there's occasionally a vine boom sound effect in the level. i have no idea why, but its a thing. plus one point for that.

level 9: sublimity [3/10] / [5/10]

this is my 3rd least favorite level, but hopefully the reason why has been fixed.

there was a glitch where, when you spawned, there is a large chance that you will end up stuck in the pool. completely unable to move. you just drown. and to make matters worse, if you respawned your screen just went completely black! you could still access the escape menu thankfully, but you couldnt even see the chat. your only hope was that someone didnt get stuck, and beat the level. because that takes you out of the "you died" screen without fucking up your game.

not including the glitch however, its like the windows. nothing really to do.

there's like 5 slides for the exit. i'm not sure if the different slides do different things, but i always just do through the purple one and it works.

3/10 because of the glitch, 5/10 if its been patched.

level 10: the abyss [7/10]

this level glitched out every single time i played it, but it was actually really funny.

the entities just. broke! they would occasionally move around a little but, but they never left the area that they spawned in. neither of them. you could even run up to them and they wouldn't even try and attack you! obviously if you run right up on them, you die, but that's different.

there supposed to roam around the map, and try to kill you once you once they spot you. so, you're supposed to hide in the lockers. but that glitch just makes it so much easier!

its annoying to try and find the keys in such a large map though, hence the lower score.

i've never actually played this level where the smilers actually work, so i don't know how the level is supposed to function. but with my glitched experiences, i like it!

level 11: the warehouse [8/10]

this one is parkour.

that's it, that's the level.

its difficult at first, but if you do it enough times you get used to the jumping physics of the game.

once you manage to get past the initial parkour and end up in the pretty easy maze, its smooth sailing from there! (unless you fall on the easiest jump like i did like twice)

its pretty easy to fuck up a jump and land in one of the lower shelves that you can't get off of without dying. but i'm not removing a point for that.

simply because its really funny to be speedrunning though the parkour and see someone in chat say "hey *user* look at me" and you look down and see them on the very bottom shelf just standing there staring at you.

level 12: creative minds [8/10]

i know where the paintings are, and where to put them, this is by far the easiest level to do in single player.

but i'm not going to talk about how the level works, i'm talking about the memorable encounter i had there.

my old avatar was mostly black (with some purple accents and white eyes). most of the entities in this game are pitch black. someone saw me turning a corner in this level and freaked out, thinking i was an entity at first. but what they said what that i was "too black". the other person on the server immediately called them out for being racist because they didn't have the context of black meaning #000000 and not the skin color. i got apologized to for an accidentally racist sounding comment about my roblox avatar on that level. i just think that was funny. especially when you add the context of me being very white irl.

level 13: the funrooms [0/10]

the entity teleports behind you. and if you dont turn around and look at it fast enough, it kills you.

there are 3 things that i am viscerally afraid of, and the third of those is being attacked from behind.

plus the creepily happy atmosphere just makes it worse.

i hope that the person who came up with this level gets a hole in their sock.

level 14: electrical station [6/10]

i haven't played this one very much, but its like the polar opposite of the funrooms. and simply because of that, it gets a 6/10.

level 15: the ocean of the final frontier [???/10]

what even is this level?

why are we on a boat?

how do we get off the boat??

question marks out of ten.

level 16: crumbling memory [3/10]

its like the lobby but worse. you can't see anything because of the black goo.

not much else to say

i didn't mean for this to be so long jesus christ 😭😭😭 very sorry about that

but anyways when the game updates and more levels get added, i'll reblog this with my opinions of those levels too!

so we'll see what happens then!

#i should play it again at some point #♡⊱a talks #apeirophobia #roblox #roblox game #long post

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proship-selfship · 2 years

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Im therian, and it took forever for me to find a pack I wanted to join where Id feel safe enough to exist as a person with paraphilic OCD and a therian at the same time. When I finally did, I started noticing all these other therians getting massive hate and suicide baits from people I was following. As soon as I posted saying that there is a huge double standard and that is disgusting of people to suicide bait and isolate and oppress other people for anything that they see as different or wrong that they cant understand, didnt even reference anything paraphilia related, and immediately I got banned from the discord server for the pack, they started posting everywhere about me, the founding member of the pack is schizophrenic like myself and we bonded ovee that briefly, and they started posting about how Im “probably like this because hes schizo” and they got other people to join in calling me crazy, a freak, insane, retarded, etc. All because I said “if you tell someone to kill themselves for any reason, youre disgusting, and having a therian instagram account is for being therian, not discourse, and nobody wants to see you be an asshole on the regular.” These people are fucked up. One of them from the server is a big trauma positivity advocate and straight up told me that there will never be safe places for me to exist and that she hopes I get physically abused and assaulted by anyone who loves me. She also is in self harm recovery, yet told me to cut myself over this. These people will look for literally any chink in your armor and try to exploit it, just to be a justifiable bully. They learned about bullying in school, so they think that because this is towards “awful people” that every single thing an average cyberbully does that they end up replicating in these situations, they tell themselves, “well, Im doing this to a pedophile, so its ok!” No, youre doing it to a person, first and foremost. And people with POCD are people. Maybe if we treated people who are uncomfortable with their paraphilias before they had to learn to love themselves after trying to seek help and the world telling them to stop existing, maybe we would have a lot less actual pedophiles. Antis are fucking insane.

I'm sorry that happened dude, that was fucked up from start to finish. I hope you find a better pack, pack is family. Family doesn't treat each other like that. Fucken antis dude.

#ask #answered #anonymous #antis dni #pro ship safe #proship safe #tw suibait mention #tw suicide baiting #tw r slur #tw self harm mention

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