musician regulus black and painter james potter, for some reason.

regulus' tour and james' art exhibitions mean they haven't had much time together. coincidentally, they end up in some city at the same time, in the same hotel, and they make the most of it.

the next day, regulus has to make the crowd sing for him because he mysteriously mysteriously has a sore throat 👀👀

you changed, it's good

A/N; soooo ive kinda been in a writing slump so take this fic thats been building dust in my docs- also tysm for 300!! hopefully ill come up w smth for it lol- I have no clue how to process that information omf

summary; months after wilbur's revival and his reunion with you and the daughter you share (that he didn't know about), you let out pent emotions and have a heartfelt talk with wilbur

tw// swearing, not lore accurate, im a wilbur apologist shush, children, suicidal mentions maybe? lmk if i missed anything

words; 1.8k

pairings; c!wilbur x gn!reader (they're parents), revivedbur x gn!reader

pronouns; none!

masterlist

—★—

The time since Wilbur’s death and revival may not have been that long, but for you, it felt like ages--you had a child now, his, yes but you’ve begun another life. A life with a little girl, a life without him. But now, he was here and he was trying. You appreciated it but god did you fear it too. The memories taunted you, the hurt and the aching that still lingered, haunted you. He haunted you.

Your head is rested upon Wilbur's chest, and the thumping of his heart echoes in your mind. His left arm wraps around your shoulder and your own arms around his middle. Your daughter, Willow lays against his other side, curled into a ball, and his other arm held tightly around her in comforting warmth. This moment is what you imagined life to be all those years, before everything…happened.

You seemed to always subconsciously wish for moments like these, at least, in the past few years. One’s where Willa has a parent other than yourself, someone else to hold her, and someone to hold you too. Domestic bliss, calm and serene. No wars or bombs, no screaming, and yelling. Simply the sound of your partner's heart and the sight of him holding your child. It's a reassurance of sorts, a silent "everything will be okay, even if it wasn't before". 

Things used to be so not okay that having this calmness is nice. Having his arms around you again is lovely, being able to kiss him and hold him, to watch him help raise your daughter, to play with her and hold her. Tickle her and carry her on his shoulders, hold her hand with his, and walk with her on the prime path. To teach her how to ride a horse, after bringing one home for her, and helping her name him.

"Wilbur?" You whisper to him, moving your head back, your gaze locked upwards on him. He looks down at you, a soft smile written on his features, and he tilts his head to the side.

"Yes, my love?" he leans down, leaving a soft kiss to your lips and you smile through it, the warmth in your stomach swelling the same way it did when you both were younger. You take a moment to admire him, the way his curls fall in his face, how his glasses are always crooked and now are no different, and how the small freckles he adorns sprinkle his cheeks. Everything about him is beautiful, and so it brings you back to what you wanted to say. What you need to say, what is right to say.

"What happened? After lmanburg? You were so…" Your mind goes blank for a word to properly describe it, without hurting him. Cruel, evil, manipulative, the list goes on. It's odd to you, how someone could become so horrible and then return to a better version of their old self in a matter of years. "Horrible, then. To everyone, to yourself."

His face falls, and so does your heart, falling to the deep pits of your stomach. You can feel the life drain from your face and it hurts. You feel an immense dread, and wonder if you hadn’t mentioned it, how you would feel. It's a difficult subject for him but at this point, you think it had to be brought up. How can one accept this happy domestic life without knowing the full truth?

"I got lost, I think. Lost in the greed I suppose." He pauses, dips his head down to press his forehead against yours. His eyes close and he takes a breath, his arm letting go of Willa and placing his hand on your cheek, fingers gently brushing the skin and his eyes hold a warm sadness to them, "I wanted the joy still, the happiness for our future. But it got pushed back. I was blinded. There's a lot I don't remember. I mean I remember pieces here and there. Bribes from dream, desperate attempts to make things work for everyone and everything."

"And then what? You realized hurting us was better?" You’re hostile now, something switching or rather, breaking in your heart. You know you shouldn't react this way, get defensive--but a piece of you is still painfully angry and hateful, filled to the brim with spite and it’s accidentally let through the cracks. You back up a moment, his touch leaving you, hand falling to his side, head still dipped down.

"I realized I couldn't make it perfect for everyone, there were sacrifices I had to make." He takes another deep breath, wraps his arms around Willow again, she doesn't move. "And I made the wrong ones, I know that. I see that." Wil looks down at the lump that his daughter forms, a little ball of a girl. She moves to grab onto his arm in her sleep and she hums, a soft smile adorns his lips.

You feel you should be satisfied with his answers, and half of you is, but you still wonder; "Why? Why did you do it?"

His gaze lets its grip off of Willow, walks up and he looks to you, pupils big and somber, bloodshot and wet. "To not hurt anyone anymore. It was for the best." 

You want to scream at him now, tell him how much of an idiot he is. Screams that are bloodcurdling, one’s that most definitely would wake up Willa and anyone surrounding the area. That no, killing yourself in fact does not stop the hurt, it only fuels it, like a spark to dead grass. He made Phil kill him, he made you watch as he destroyed his livelihood, your shared livelihood, watch as he's stabbed to death by his own goddamn father. It was never ending with him, it was always something new, something bigger, more painful than before. You want to storm away, back off, and not let him near you for a split second, it's all an overreaction, you tell yourself but you simply can't help it.

You stare at him for a moment, your expression blank and emotionless. Willow turns onto her back, eyes open slightly and her arms reach up to Wil. "Hey, daddy." She mumbles out, a smile of her own sculpted onto her features. Wil smiles back.

"Hello, my love. Are you ready for bed?" He asks, lifting her up by her sides and gently sitting her on his lap. She nods sluggishly, and she rests herself against him, chest to chest, head on shoulder, and tiny arms wrapped around his neck. "Let's get you into bed then, sweetie."

You just watch, your eyes follow him as he walks out of the living room, into the kitchen, and down the stairs. You sit there, alone now. Thoughts cycle through your mind. All the things you had wished for, every thought that graced your consciousness, every question unanswered for years. You missed him, you really truly did. But you aren’t sure who you missed more, and is the one you missed, the one you lie with at night? The one that wraps his arms around you in the morning, leaves a sloppy kiss on your cheek, and brushes the hair out of your face. The man that waits there, holding you, until Willow comes rushing in the room to ‘wake’ you both up. The same man that shushes you lovingly and says "Pretend you're asleep, love," the moment he hears her bedroom door open, so she can have the satisfaction of waking you both.

You now rest your head on the back of the couch, your gaze focused on the window on the opposite side of the room. Snow gently falls past it, frost taken over the glass. The fire crackles and warms you like a hug. 

What feels like moments later, even warmer arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to the body they're attached to. "Wil?" You call out, your voice coming out gravelly, and you realize you must've fallen asleep.

"Hey.." It comes out weak, the word feels broken and sounds broken. "I'm sorry, for all the shitty things I've done. I know my reasoning isn't nor has it ever been valid. But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, and I don't have any plans of mass terrorism." His voice becomes clearer, breaks up less and he dips his head down again, pressing his cheek against yours. You nearly open your eyes, but keep them closed, and revel in the feeling of him more. 

"I know." You pause, and let your own arms wrap around him, but instead of his middle like he has you held--you wrap your arms around his neck, your hands weaving into his mop of curls. "I think part of me still hurts, it's stupid I guess." You rest your head on his shoulder, and he pulls you closer, your legs now wrapped around him too.

"It's not, I hurt you. I take accountability for that and I hate that I even did it in the first place." His voice cracks again, and you know he means it. You pull back, your hands pressed against his cheeks and he looks up at you.

You hesitate, mulling over the words falling off his lips, his expression knotted in anxiety. Your thumbs run over his pink-tinted cheeks and you kiss his forehead.

"If you were that same person, you wouldn't say that." You take a breath, "I think you've changed. In a good way."

He sighs, wrapping his arms tighter around you. "I hope I have."

“I know you have,” You pause, grasping his face in your hands and getting him to pull back simply so he can gaze at you.

“How?” His voice is merely a croaked-out mumble but it’s enough that you hear it loud and clear.

“Would you be here, in my arms, after putting our daughter to bed if you hadn't changed?" You paused, eyes gazing deeply into his and searching for any doubt to crush with your words, "Would you even search for us if you were that same man? For good, not to hurt us."

He shakes his head, "I changed, didn't I?"

"In the best way possible." A soft kiss placed on his lips, one of love and devotion. A simple peck speaking every word and emotion you've ever felt--but only the good.

He smiles against the kiss, grasping at your sides and pulling you closer and closer to him. You were already so close, practically one, but he felt the need to pull you so much closer that not only were your bodies one, but so were your souls.

He pulls away from the kiss, hands resting on your face, "I love you," he nuzzles his nose against yours and you giggle, twisting your fingers into the curls on the back of his head, "so much." The last bit is whispered, like a quiet promise. A promise of devotion and loyalty. Something you're glad to finally have. 

There's nothing in the way of him being with you. With your daughter.

"I love you more," You smile to him softly, a kiss placed on his forehead, and you push stray curls out of his face as he nuzzles his head against your chest.

taglist; @ella-fella-bo-bella @lillylvjy @sleepyburs @lotusanonymouse @lcvejoy

Limbo (Bakugo Katsuki x Fem!Reader)

Pairing: bakugo katsuki x female reader warnings: heavy angst, eventual tiny bit of fluff at the end

omf this request is so nice i feel so bad that my writing is literally garbage in this, but thank you sm for requesting this!! <3 and im so sorry if i didn’t do your request justice (i legit hate my writing here :’))

To say the state of your relationship was unbearable would be the euphemism of the century.

Your thoughts often ran amuck, always hopelessly crawling back to that one despaired curiosity; wondering if he shared the same sentiment about your wishy-washy “friends” status as you did. He probably didn’t. That’s the seemingly unshakable brick wall that would inevitably dead-end your lovesick daydreams, each and every time. Though when his roughed-up hands linger on your skin a millisecond too long, when his steeled stare melts, hard rubies morphing into blazing lava pits, threatening to mar your very heart and soul with their scorching intensity –you’re not exactly certain you’d mind that– that’s when a flicker of something ignites within you. Hope, longing, doubt. Whatever it is, it terrifies you. Because you’re agonizingly aware of what that entails. He’s got you hook, line and sinker, but torturously he refuses to do anything with that. Almost like pulling someone in for a hug then abruptly and without explanation stopping midway, he keeps you at arm’s length. Not too far, not too close. And how that cycle destroyed you.

Katsuki was the type to jump into action and ask questions later. Except a lot of the times when these questions pertain to his own emotions, he didn’t even try to answer them, opting to shove them to the corners of his psyche, collecting dust, steadily accumulating until they become too much to ignore and he (sometimes quite literally) explodes. It’s a vicious loop that he could never break away from, he’d even come to find a sordid comfort in it. His coping mechanism was by no means healthy, far from it, but he’d grown familiar to the toxicity.

Katsuki couldn’t make heads nor tails of his feelings for you. Whenever he impulsively threw himself into the lion’s den that was your affection, caught in the moment, in the glimmer of genuine adoration in your eyes, he never came back the same. A piece of his heart would irreversibly split off and reside in the palm of your hand, he was scared that nothing would be left of it, that he wouldn’t be able to regain his bearings until it was too late. You so effortlessly juggled with his feelings, all with a single smile, it scared him that you had so much power over the fluttery sensation in his chest and yet, in the moment, it felt good. It felt so good to indulge in whatever fucky feeling was messing with his head, to let you hold him in the depths of obscurity with all prying eyes shut and what little words exchanged hushed. It felt so alleviating to feel skin on his own (for once not in battle), gentle, comforting but not coddling. It was unspoken between you that you were both more than friends. You knew it, he knew it. Neither of you ever mentioned it. What neither of you knew, however, was how far the other’s feelings ran.

But as high as your silent love made him feel, he crashed back down into the concrete when he was left to his own devices. Without your intoxicating scent, distracting touches fogging his rationality, Katsuki had all the time in the world to overthink. And overthink he did. His pride picked apart the delicate flowering in his heart, ripping it petal by petal until nothing was left but a garden of beautifully withered leaves, a condemnation to what he considered a weakness.

Katsuki was a taker by every sense of the word. Basking in your wispy adoration, only to brush you aside in favor of focusing on academics once he’d had his fill of your love. It was sickening.

Maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t outright confessed to him, maybe that’s what soothed the overbearing guilt that crawled up his throat whenever he saw that dejected face of yours, the one you made because of him. If your feelings for him ran deep, surely you would have said something by now, at least that’s what he thought. Or more precisely, that’s the excuse his mind conjured up in hopes of easing his conscious, trying to convince himself that self that yes, he was hurting you, but at least he wasn’t hurting you that bad. He was infinitely aware that this doesn’t put him in any sort of moral high ground, nor does it justify his actions, but, again, it was a last-ditch effort to relieve his anguish if just by a little bit, even if he knew that excuse was bullshit.    

Surely he knew, there’s no way in hell someone as hawk-eyed as him didn’t notice the tyranny he held over the porcelain pitter-pattering of your heart, didn’t notice the fleeting, love-filled glances you sent his way. This was getting ridiculous, you were starting to believe he was taking some twisted sense of pleasure from your heartache, but he wouldn’t do that, right? He didn’t derive some sick kick out of having you indefinitely under his thumb, at his beck and call… right? A few months ago, you would have answered those uncertainties with a resounding “No!” defending his cruel behavior till the bitter end. But now…

Now you weren’t so sure.

And yet you still found yourself in his dorm, on his bed. It was supposed to be another study gathering, but one thing was glaringly missing. Y’know… the gathering. Kirishima was out training and he hadn’t bothered to invite the rest of his brain-dead, self-proclaimed squad. And that’s how you found yourself alone. With your best friend and secret crush. Just dandy.

Your hands were restless. Pulling at the seams of his blanket, cracking your own fingers, picking up your pencil for a brief moment of concentration, answering one or two questions only to drop it back on the mattress again and fidget some more. Katsuki wasn’t fucking blind, and your unease was ticking him off. Though he surprisingly hadn’t said a thing about it just yet, he was clearly nearing his wit’s end. His silence didn’t prevail for much longer, the meek sigh and not so subtle glance you chanced his way being his tipping point.

“What.” It came out as a statement, a demand rather than a question. What was he demanding? He hadn’t thought of that yet, his temperamental limbs already taking the wheel and pressing on the gas without a destination in mind, just being short fused for the sake of it. Was it even his place to be making demands in this situation? Katsuki knew the answer to this one like the back of his hand, a solid no.

“What…?” You really had no idea what Bakugo was expecting with a question like that. He still had the audacity to roll his eyes.

“The hell’s got you so jumpy?”

“It’s nothing…” It was a lot more than nothing, that’s for sure.

“Don’t lie to me, (name). What the fuck is up with you?” Ah, there it is again. That look. His words were as cut-throat as ever, and his mouth was still pulled into that seemingly permanent scowl. But his eyes conveyed something that was whole worlds asunder from his harsh tone. Golden brows furrowed as they usually were, though unusually upturned just the slightest bit. You despised that look. It ensured that you’ll forever be caught in his grasp, forever there for him when he never spared you the time of day.

Your lungs constricted by a force of gorgeously wretched agony. Katsuki wasn’t fair when he bared his soul to you like this, it filled you with such fervent euphoria that torrefied its way through your being, singeing your veins with luminous infatuation. And it hurt. Because you knew he’d cage himself right up as soon as the moment of vulnerability perished.

A crystalline sheen permeated your vision. This wasn’t going to end well.  

“I said it’s nothing,” Your voice raised. You hadn’t meant for the words to be as frosty as they came out, but it seemed like your subconscious was utterly done with the tedium of heartbreak he keeps putting you through.

“What is fucking wrong with you? I was literally just asking why you were being so goddamn obnoxious today and then you go and make a big fuckin’ deal out of nothing!”

“Well, maybe I’m just fucking tired of giving you everything I have and getting nothing in return, Katsuki!”

Your chest rose and fell with each scalding breath that entered your lungs. The blood through your veins was pumping. Never had you been confrontational, and your sudden outburst wasn’t exactly welcome to your system. You wanted to vomit. This was not how you wanted things to turn out, you absolutely needed to leave, distance yourself from the emotional strain he was inflicting on you.  

Without taking notice of the panicked glint in the cherry red of his irises, you bolted out of the suddenly claustrophobic room, leaving Katsuki to stare at his agape door before flickering his unfocused attention to your supplies still laying on his bed.

Katsuki erupted time and time again, with you being as patient as a receiving end could ever be. It’s specifically because of your godly patience that he never considered what he would do once you erupted.

With your back sliding down your dorm room door, and little friction stopping your descent, you wondered and maybe even wished he’d call after you, come banging on your door with bristling apologies on the tip of his tongue. However, the jarring reality was very clear to you. You’d decided on that day, with your head buried in your tear-stained pillow, that these were the last tears you’d ever shed on him, that you were going to put him through the same wringing hell he’d put you through.

You were going to ignore Bakugo Katsuki’s existence just like he’d periodically ignored yours.

The following week had been bleak at best and excruciatingly bitter at its worst for the both of you. It was so strange having to adjust to the absence of the other, even if your company more often than not had been a quiet one, it was company nevertheless. The most grueling part though, was your shared friend group. They’d noticed that something was obviously awry, but since neither of you said a thing about it, they decided it would be best if they didn’t either. The awkward dead silences during lunch were still purgatory to behold. But after a few more slow paced days, the sun seemed to shine bright again. For you, that is.

You didn’t realize how much of your schedule revolved around Bakugo until he was completely out of it. How much time you spent with him, dreading him, thinking about him… him, him, him. He’d consumed your thoughts from the first sparks of dawn till the hallows of dusk. You had so much free time now that he was out of the picture, it was crazy. The more time you spent on yourself, on your hobbies, getting to know other classmates outside of your immediate friend circle, the duller the ache in your chest. Until it was but a static buzz. Yet you couldn’t deny that, with time, your fury had mellowed out, leaving behind a cold loneliness you couldn’t elude whenever your aimless stare landed on him, almost like it was drawn to him by muscle memory.

He was the exact opposite.

You’d think the throbbing within him whenever you finally gazed his way then instantaneously looked in the opposite direction would knock come modicum of sense into his stubborn head. But nope. And seeing you thrive without him only cemented what he already knew. He really was no good for you. So much so that it barely took anytime for you to readjust to the lack of him in your life, and not only did you adjust, you were the best he’s ever seen you both mentally and academically. In the first week of you ditching him completely, his bruised ego kept him for reaching out to you, but now, seeing that elated grin on your face –the one that had been gradually dwindling over the past few months– he didn’t want to take your newfound happiness away, he’d figured he’d done you more than enough harm already.

Heart heavy with reluctance, Katsuki made the decision to give up on your relationship. Deciding to wordlessly cheer you on from the sidelines and watch you bloom, flourishing into the person he robbed you of being for a chunk of your life, though whenever your spring hit, it would be without him. Until some day in the future where his pride wasn’t as suffocating, where he could genuinely, wholeheartedly repent his grievances and only hope for your forgiveness.

Kirishima never took Bakugo for a quitter, hell would freeze over before he even thought such a thing. So this was certainly a shock. What was even more shocking ­– and overwhelmingly concerning– was the fact that Katsuki had willingly, on his own accord confided in him, and he’d, in his own roundabout way, taken accountability for being a gigantic douche to you. As much as the redhead respected his friend’s decision to stay clear of you, he couldn’t help but wish you’d just talk to one another for once. Kirishima really was a saint, having to listen to two idiots ramble about how much they miss the other.

“Listen, man. I know you feel bad and all that, but maybe you should just talk to her? I’m sure she’d like some closure on this just as you do, even if that doesn’t mean things will go back to the way they were.” Eijirou tried to reason, praying to whatever higher being out there that Katsuki would just get the fuck over himself and communicate with you.

“Fuck no. That’s not fucking happening, shitty hair,” Kirishima rolled his eyes at the oh so affectionate nickname, thoroughly done with his best friend’s melodrama. Welp, I guess there’s only one thing left to try. He heaved internally, mentally and physically preparing himself for Bakugo’s tantrum.

“Well, you know that if you won’t talk to her, others will, right? I heard some guys saying they’re gonna ask her ou–”

“Shut the fuck up! I don’t give a rat’s ass who asks her out!” He definitely did. Eijirou hid his smile. Checkmate.

“Whatever you say, dude.”

Later that day, three distinctly powerful knocks woke you up. Needless to say, you didn’t think that night would end up with you and Katsuki staring each other down, seated on your bed at one in the morning. Words got stuck in his throat, so he just… noiselessly watched your face, as if trying to telepathically ram his constipated emotions into you, in hopes that you’d make sense of them. Obviously, that didn’t work.

“Did you come banging on my door at one in the morning just to stare at me, Bakugo? I mean I know I’m pretty but still–”

“Shuddup.” Not really the best thing to say to you after weeks of radio silence. You were about to make another salty remark, but he opened his mouth first.

“I fucked up,” The fact that he was acknowledging he was at fault was… something. But that wasn’t nearly enough to pay off the debt off turmoil he’d caused you.

“No shit.” You replied without missing a beat. The ice that tinged your words caught him off guard, but he really shouldn’t have been surprised. He sighed, knowing he’d have to strip himself of everything, including his pride (especially his pride) down to his very core, to have a go at a second chance.

And so, he did.

He poured his everything out for you to observe, without an ego film distorting his words. Syllables reeked of muted agony, he really had rid himself of anything and everything that wasn’t his deepest soul. He finally offered you himself just as you had done countless times before. Katsuki swore that his heart would –and always has been– explicitly yours, he’d roar that fact at the constellations above if you so wished him to. And while it would take a while to heal from coruscating blisters he’d inflicted, you were more than content mending and welting your heart with his.  

Hi Crispy! I was just wondering how do you write characters with multiple pronouns (he/they, she/they)? I’m having trouble trying to vary them throughout my story but it just feels strained on my end. I only have my own experiences to go off of as a fledgling non-binary person and I can’t find any writing resources on the subject. It’s ok if you don’t have an answer I was just wondering!

hmmm that's am excellent question! and like most things, there isn't any one answer. (so of course my answer is heckin long rip)

my personal experience with varied pronouns is, for lack of a better word, varied (ﾟ◡ ﾟღ) when i first started going by he/they (oh lord like six years ago??), I was one or the other for whole days or weeks, and i was going by two names also, so myself and others would associate they/them with one name and he/him with the other. truthfully, i've never written this dynamic

i rarely pass as masculine usually, and i've found in work environments it was so so much easier to have coworkers and customers use he/him because i want to be read as masculine first, if that makes sense? like i wish there was a masculine-they/them if that makes sense? (ღಥ◡ ಥღ)

i have only ever had one person in my life successfully bounce between he and they evenly for me, i honestly don't know how they made it look so effortless to just. use both in a conversation or when they're telling someone about me?

in the context of writing, i still struggle switching, say, obi-wan's pronouns to they/them when i normally write them with he/him? like i'm thinking specifically the agricorps obi, good lord i kept forgetting their pronouns and automatically writing masculine ones. and it was hard to correct in editing, because it. read really normal? it didn't actually stand out to me reading it back, i think largely because obi-wan already has masculine pronouns in canon. WHILE writing it though, blehhh it took me out of the groove a lot because i was constantly having to correct myself and then i'd worry about if i was being clear enough on who's who in a sentence, or with dialogue tags, and i relate to the struggle you're describing A Lot. (i'm writing an nb din right now where they also aren't sure of grogu's pronouns so it feels like a MESS of they/thems everywhere, but then i realised it would be a mess if they were all he/hims, too, i'm just more like. acclimatised to gendered pronouns and was way over thinking it)

now, i also had this problem in hunger 'verse, using Naberrie for obi-wan. it felt clunky and out of place and i was constantly correcting myself.

i guess what i'm getting at is that like 99% of the time, the clunky you feel while writing is because it's something you've never done before, and/or are worried about doing it "right" (or respectfully) , and/or are worried you're not making it clear enough.

i've written varied pronouns like you're describing only once, and i never posted it because i never finished it. i got caught up in worrying about if the readers would understand, if i needed to have an explanation in the notes, if other nb folx were gonna tell me i was doing it wrong

i'm all over the place in this answer omf, but my advice is this: there's no formula for how often you switch between he and they, she and they, etc., because every nb's ratio is different, if that makes sense. if your character doesn't lean any more to one side than the other, i sincerely don't think it matters how or when you change up their pronouns (except maybe not in the same sentence, unless in dialogue; jury's out on switching it up in the same paragraph, i think that's up to you!)

it'll be a little strange for readers, only because they've likely never read that before (lord knows i haven't 🥲) but it's a little strange for those reading a they/them character for the first time, too. it's just a new experience, and by the time the reader really gets into the story, they won't notice it

i don't believe in the "only write what you know" because fuck that, BUT using your own experiences as inspiration or a starting off point or as a learning tool is important too! i can't tell you how important it was for me to start writing obi-wan with hunger 'verse, because he was 22 and i was 22 and I needed that connection to really solidly and understand what i was wanting from him in everything else i wrote for him (as well as everyone else in star wars tbh)

so maybe that's a starting point for you? if you go by, or are wanting to go by varied pronouns, there's nothing stopping you from applying that to the character you're writing. when would YOU switch between them? how frequently? do other characters know or is it only in their internal dialogue/exposition?

your writing feels clunky and forced because you're writing it. when i'm unsure if something is clear enough or too confusing, i usually send it to my kid @theclonewarsbrokeme, and cannot recommend another set of eyes on your work enough. not even a full beta reader or anything, just someone else to look at it while you're writing, largely because, quite often, it reads just fine

karasuno first years using pick-up lines on their s/o

soo.. i’ve been wanting to write a karasuno head canon for ages, and i gonna write a hc which turned into a short fic that i’ll probably never finish... so this is the replacement. enjoy!!

description: so the the karasuno boiz were playing truth and dare in their changing room. and tanaka and nishinoya had dared your bf to use a pick-up line on you. 

warnings: implied nsfw. gender neutral reader. fluffy but sprinkled with swears. i was stressed writing this. long af. not proofread. 

. ⋆ 　 *  . 　· 　  ✫  　  ⋆

hinata shoyo

i’m sorry but, did u rlly expect our lil cinnamoroll to know what’s a pick up line?

he babie 🥺❤️

n e ways, it was finally his turn on their little game of truth and dare and nishinoya had dared him to use a pick up line on you.

“a pickup line??? what’s that? will it improve my volleyball skills??”

like i said a bABIE!!

nishinoya and tanaka needs to stop tainting my bbys mind.

“udk whats a pickup line??? how did u even end up with y/n.”

nishinoya is in shock.

and then the plan commenced.

their lil game of truth and dare ended up as a lil plan on getting u hinata to use a pick up line on you.

that night, u were walking home w hinata after club activities ended.

with noya, tanaka and kageyama trailing you, but we pretend they don’t exist.

“soo,, y/n”

“sup? y u acting all weird for? ur usually rambling abt volleyball by now.. u okay?”

“hoW DO THEY KNOW?? WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?? THEY TOLD ME TO SOUND NATURAL BUT THEY ALR KNOWS!! uGh my senpais are watching me, i gotta do them proUD!”

hinatas mind ran at 1,000km/h, it was insane. especially for someone who doesn’t usually use their brain.

“um, uM, Y/N! CAN U HELP ME HOLD SOMETHING?!?”

confusion.

that was the only thing u felt at the moment.

i mean u were alr infront of ur house, what’s the point of holding smt when u were leaving??

“whut”

conveniently, during ur moment of confusion, the only word u could form was “what”.

“m-m-mm-mY HAND!!”

hinata screeched at ur face

...

silence. whilst noya and tanaka facepalms in the bg

it took a moment, but ur brain finally computes what ur bf just said

“pFFFFFTT,”

ur first instinct was to release the phatest snort/wheeze. shane dawson is jealous. 

“y/nnnnnn~~ stop laughinggggggg”

hinata was now suffering from crippling embarrassment, as u wouldn't stop laughing no matter how much he pleaded.

omg imagine him all blushy and shiz akdkkoaw-- ok lets not get off topic

“ok,, okay, first of all, u could've just held my hand without asking? we’re dating? you don't need my permission to do smth we do everyday?? and, more importantly, who taught u that line u just used???”

u said half wheezing, half talking, struggling to convey wtv ur trying to say to ur bf.

lucky for u, he was strangely able to understand what u were saying, and he replies with a lengthy explanation of the entire situation. 

“ooo, so that's why noya, tanaka and kageyama have been following us,,”

“hOWD U KNOW??? NOYA-SAN OUR HIDING SPOT HAVE BEEN EXPOSED!!!”

as u left to go in ur house, he stops u by holding ur hand and gives u a peck on ur forehead. 

as he separates from u, he had the biggest smile plastered on his face, brightening the entire neighbourhood.

“goodnight y/n! i love you!”

kageyama tobio

erm, lbr this man would have 0 ideas in the field of flirting.

knowing this, our lovely 2nd year duo, decide its time for them to step in and help their junior in his dating life

despite it flowing extremely smoothly w/out their intervention

n e ways, so they forced the 1st years to play truth and dare w them.

when it finally came to tobio’s turn, the unfortunate child unknowingly picks dare which causes nishinoya to spring up.

“i have the perfect dare for you.”

commencing plan...

so nishinoya dares kageyama to say a pickup line to you, but since kageyamas a big baby in disguise, he dk any pickup lines.

bet he didn't even know any pickup lines, but that's not the point. 

so, being the mastermind he is, nishinoya told kageyama a perverted pickup line.

being the clueless innocent baby he is, kageyama decides to recite the pickup line he received from noya to u outside ur class.

“hey y/n,”

“hmm?”

“do you like dragons?”

“eh? why the sudden question? i guess so?”

“cuz i can see me dragon my balls on ur face.”

processing...

.

what the fuck.

it was like god hit the pause button on earth, like literally everyone just paused for a literal second, turning their head towards kageyama, trying to figure out who tf was the brave soul who said that. 

while still in shock, kageyama just stood there confused, as he was suddenly placed in the centre of attention for no reason. o there's a reason honey, a very good one.

“why's everyone looking at me,”

with that one sentence, the world went back to normal as if someone had hit the play button all of the sudden, leaving u to deal with the weirdly awkward situation u found urself in. 

“ummm... tobio.. do u have any idea what u just said.”

“uhh yeah, a pickup line.” 

at that moment, when he said that, it hit u.

“what did they do.”

“huh, what are u talking about??”

*insert confused kags*

“nishinoya and tanaka told u to do something right?”

“r u a psychic???”

despite being amazed at ur ‘psychic powers’, he immediately explains the situation, causing u to face palm so much ur face may be concave.

there are times where u appreciate ur dumbass bf being a ignorant qt, but times like this makes u wish he was a tad bit smarter.. 

debating ur options, u decided to explain the meaning of the pickup line he just used on u in public.

once hearing and understanding the meaning of the pickup line he used on u, his face lit up like a matchstick, shining bright red, stuttering madly, struggling to get even a word out.

“oh, um, well, im sorry for saying smtg so indecent to u in public, um ill make it up to u somehow,”

understanding him was a struggle due to the severe stuttering he was suffering from, but u managed somehow.

“nahhh, its cool, i should go lecture nishinoya for corrupting my precious baby though~~”

“b-b-b-bABY!?!?”

“hehe, yes ur my baby <3″

tsukishima kei

ugh this salty ass mfcker

honestly can't imagine him being forced into using a pickup line on his s/o

cuz, despite hw much we try to deny it, he is one smart mfcker,,,

but i think he would be curious how his s/o will react, so he would do it on his own will anyways.

umm, so this is how the situation went down.

it was another boring day, and the 2nd year duo was having none of that and decided too ensue a game of truth and dare with the 1st years.

this was how the c h a o s started.

he was trying to leave the game discreetly before he had to sell his soul to the devil. 

unfortunately for him, lady luck was not on his side, as he was chosen to do the next dare. 

“but wait a fucking minute, when the fuck did this become a game of dare or dare, when tf did freedom of choice decide to fuck off like that?”

plot convenience

so he was forced into a dare. 

the moment of dread came when tanaka stood up shouting he had a brilliant idea. and it all went downhill from there.

so tanaka dared tsukki to use a pickup line on his s/o. and his first reaction was no. 

“o come on, u never do anything romantic, i bet u haven't even held hands, sometimes i wonder how y/n’s still with u.”

“says the person who has never dated.”

tanaka shut ups. 

so somehow, he managed to get himself out of the situation. 

later that night, he couldn't stop thinking about pickup lines. he almost spent the whole night thinking about ur reaction. cuz volleyball is just a club, am i right..

he decided to use a pickup line on u tmrw, just to see ur reaction, not like he wants to use one, lmao that's lame, haha. a fucking tsundere.

the next day, during lunch, he left yams with the 1st year duo to go find u.

when he saw u, he immediately calls u. 

“hey, where's yams, u didn't tell me u wanted to eat with me today,”

“nah, i just had something to tell u.”

at this moment, tsukishimas heart was beating faster than ushijimas spikes.

“you know if u think about it we never stop tasting our tongues.”

“hmm, now that u said it ye--”

“how bout i taste urs for a change.”

since it was so unexpected, u had no idea how to react. 

as u returned to reality, u notice a slight pink on his cheeks.

u were gonna come back with a snarky comment, since it was rare he was so vulnerable(?) 

but ur plans were ruined when he glanced at u making eye contact, to check ur reaction. 

ur face bursts into the brightest red, hes ever seen. 

seeing ur extremely delayed reaction, he lets out a laugh, but immediately recollects himself. 

“it was a dare from tanaka.”

you were still bright red, but u felt the blush on ur face reducing after hearing the reasoning behind the line. 

“oh, haha, i was wondering what's up”

u said slightly dejectedly. 

he felt like he was just punched in the gut by guilt. 

“i was also curious about ur reaction, and i am satisfied to say the least.”

he leans down to ur height to whisper in ur ear, before initiating the kiss. 

ur blush returns almost immediately as u returned the kiss.

since yall were in school, he separed from the kiss after a few seconds. this is a place for knowledge, y'all nasties.

“welp, bye loser,”

after the kiss, he immediately return to yamaguchi, leaving u alone with ur thoughts. trying to escape from embarrassment.

he may be equal to the condiment on ur kitchen cupboard, but he still tries to make u happy, so appreaciate him and his efforts <3

yamaguchi tadashi

a babie uwuwuwu

pickup line what's that? hehe omf he's so cute

so how this about to go down. 

so truth and dare bla bla bla... ive written this exact thing 3 times please excuse my behaviour.

since he was bored, yamaguchi forced tsukki to join in on the fun together, a decision he would regret. 

soon it became yamaguchi’s turn, and everyone turned quiet due to the lack of dares they had or yamaguchi.

that was until the one and only nishinoya stood up. 

“hEY, u have a s/o right, how about u use a cheesy pickup line on her!!” *eyebrow raise*

while processing what nishinoya just said, yamaguchi’s face morphed into one of dread and fear, as he turns his head to tsukishima for help.

“u dragged us into this mess, i aint helping u.”

and there goes his only help, well it was his fault in the first place dragging him and his best friend into this mess. tsukishima u tsundere.

yamaguchi was on the verge of tears, thinking of excuses and ways he could get out of the god forbidden situation he brought upon himself. 

but the only thing he could think of was the worst case scenario, which was u breaking up with him.

looking at his senpais, he slowly faces the fact that there's no escape and accepts his fate. 

if this is the cause of the end of ur relationship together, it just means the gods don't want y'all together.

“idk any pickup lines....” 

this was his last attempt of escaping as he bids ur relationship farewell, already aware it was not gonna work. 

“thiS IS WHERE I COME IN, don't worry yamaguchi i am the encyclopaedia of pickup lines.”

ofc his senpais would know the cheesiest lines on the surface of this earth. despite insisting the earth is flat.

and so the dreadful event began. 

after school ended, otw to his club, he met up with u. with his senpais trailing behind stalking y'all, to see ur reaction.

“ugh out of all the pickup lines, they had to make me use the most overused one... im gonna cry,,, y/n i hope u don't leave me after this.”

well here goes nothing...

“hey y/n,,” extreme stutters that im too lazy to type out.

“hmm?”

“k-k-kiss me if im wrong,,, b-but dinosaurs still exist right?”

before he could even cringe at himself, u gave him a peck on his lips while smirking afterwards. 

yamaguchi proceeds to poof into redness after processing what had just happen, as u laugh maniacally in the background.

“u could've just asked for one, and tsukishima already told me everything so u don't need to explain,"

yamaguchi did not have the brain power to comprehend the situation at hand, as he was still affected from the kiss from earlier.

“i can't believe u think i would breakup with u because of something so trivial.. im kinda upset..”

finally coming back to reality, yamaguchi finally realises the situation he's in. 

“o-oh, i didn't mean to make it seem like i didn't believe in our relationship, its just that w--”

he gets cut off by u kissing him again.

when u separate, u began to laugh again. 

“hAHAHHA, ikik, i was just joking around, don't worry ill love u no matter what, now off u go to ur club ill see u tmrw.”

not knowing what to do or how to react, yamaguchi felt the need to do smtg before u left. 

“i love u, ill call u later tonight!”

boyf! taehyung

whoop- i missed writing like a lot. hopefully, this is good ;)

gifs don’t belong to me, credits to the owners.

confession

the two of you would know each other since he’s a local at the convenience store you work

of course, when you first started working there, you never expected to see someone as famous as him- come in and buy some random snacks and drinks

which really shocked you at that time and you were literally screaming from the inside

when he came walking to the register with a smile on his face

you couldn’t help but start small talk with him

“you must be new in town, i haven’t seen you around”

“no, i haven’t seen you around, are you new here?”

it was pretty awkward but the two of you just laughed it off and said goodbye to each other

after that day, he passed by more and more

you and taehyung began talking a lot more and eventually became good friends

and the more he got to know you, the more he started to see you like more as a friend ;)

whenever the two of you hung out, he always did those little things that made your heart skip a beat

like giving you a small smile when the two of you meet

complimenting you on the smallest thing

“the way you walk is cute, y/n”

“why do you drink so cutely”

of course- you had to tell your closest friends and they were absolutely going crazy when you told them who you were meeting

“there is no way that’s taehyung, it must be a clone”

“or what if he has a twin brother?”

“guys, i’m delusional sometimes but it’s really him”

 the same goes to taehyung

he told the others about being interested in you and they were actually pretty accepting

“if you like them, go ahead. we’re human after all, we catch feelings”

dun dun dun

time flies by and taehyung was ready to confess his feelings for you

ofc this dood had a whole plan behind his back

he asked you out that day to walk through the shopping streets at night, to make it more romantic and fun

he was extra nice and eVen carried your fannypack

HAHAHAHAH

“taehyung, i can put it around me, you don’t need to carry it”

“if i can carry my love for you, i can carry this”

iT was just so sudden you were lost for words and he decided to do it right there

in the middle of the shopping streets, he confessed his feelings for you

“sorry for making it awkward but i like you, more than a friend and i did mean what i just said even though it’s really cheesy”

you were shocked and just pulled him into a hug before telling him

“i like you too, taehyung. a lot”

that’s when one of the most beautiful things started

dates

uH

he lOVES picnic dates

and walking around town to take pictures of each other

oh and don’t forget thrift shopping !!

it’d always be so much fun

sometimes when you’re just walking and talking to each other, he’d run away from you whenever he sees something that he likes or finds adorable

“y/n! look! they have clothes for puppies here”

“oh my, they have padlocks here! we should buy one to lock on the seoul tower!!”

he would end up buying the most random things but that wouldn’t mind you at all hopefully

taehyung is also the type to buy a lot of matching couple stuff

he’d buy the two of you matching necklaces, rings, glasses, shirts and much more

he’d even go as far as buying matching gucci slippers

“hun, those are too expensive, put them back”

“how much do i love you?”

“i don’t know, a lot?”

“that’s how much money i’ve got”

“oh god, tae”

after the expensive shopping, the two of you would go head to the seoul tower

to put the lock on there and throw the key away

since both of you are childish, you decided to fight over who was going to throw the key

“i’m throwing it since you bought it”

“no, i will throw it”

“you know what, let’s throw it together”

“that’s a great idea”

after throwing that key, expect him to pull you into a hug apologizing for earlier

“sorry for that, i love you”

“don’t apologize and i love you too, boo”

both of you would act as if nothing happened at all and continue your date, taking pictures and him complimenting you

“you look so beautiful!”

“you look so pretty in the picture but you are prettier in real life”

“oh my”

so

dates with taehyung are filled with lots of love and cheesy things that he says 

hugs n kisses

he LOVES giving you hugs and kisses

it’s literally his favorite thing to do

sometimes, you’d just be talking with a few friends and you’d suddenly feel someone wrapping their arms around you 

and giving you soft kisses

at first- it scared you but the longer the two of you were together the more used you got to it

“taehyung, what are you doing”

“i’m hugging you”

your friends of course would find it adorable and wouldn’t mind it most of the times

but when it’s only the two of you

he’d literally jump into your arms while you’re lying there, watching tv and he’d snuggle you

“you smell great”

“you smell great too”

“what are you watching?”

“the walking dead”

and his kisses oh my holy god

taehyung loves very short kisses but he also adores long passionate ones

before he leaves, he always gives you a kiss

and whenever the two of you two share a kiss, you’d feel him smile 

most of the time, telling you how he loves you after kissing

oh god, my heart

sometimes, he’d rest his forehead against yours and look at you with eyes filled with love

“you’re beautiful”

others

ooooooooH

since he loves having fun

expect to have super weird pictures on each others phone

and even when you and taehyung are just chatting

you’d exchange weird pictures

the other members would obviously notice but would just laugh it off and just think of it as you two being adorable

“earlier, i walked into taehyung and y/n calling and i wish i could remove my eyes at that moment”

“HAHAHAHH what happened?”

“well, they were showing each others nostrils and laughing”

“sometimes, we all have to experience situations like that”

oMF moving on

he’d be so supportive of you

whatever choice you make, he’s there for you

“i’m thinking of trying to audition”

“ooooh, whatever makes you happy, prince/ss. it’ll be hard but bite through it and you’ll succeed”

“you’re so sweet, tae”

be sure that he’s your number one fan

well

lastly, don’t forget he’d always be there by your side, fully supporting you and showing you lots of love

If you are still taking prompts (and if you get inspired by this), could you write something that includes Barisi and Rafael's abusive father? Aaaand number would be 15. “If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.” You do angsty like no one else and I love you for it 😍😘

Omf thank you! I hope this turned out okay, anon, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it but I’m falling asleep as I type this so what’s done is done!!!

—

Rafael is quiet all the way from the courthouse to their apartment. Sonny watches him stare out the window of their Uber home, takes note of those tense shoulders and the clenched fists and that tight jaw. They’ve been through this before, this same kind of silence. It’s worrisome but it’s also familiar. Sonny has learned not to take it personally.

“We’ve got leftover Chinese from the other night. If I heat it up, will you have some?”

Rafael doesn’t look at him but his shoulders rise and fall. “Maybe.” He pauses then tries again. “Yeah, I will.”

That answer is for Sonny. It’s to avoid an argument or a lecture or even shameless begging. Rafael forgets to eat when he’s being eaten up inside. Sonny keeps him fed because he can’t do anything else.

Rafael doesn’t speak again until they’ve reached their bedroom and Sonny doesn’t try to push him. Pushing always has the opposite effect of what Sonny intends, Rafael is not a man who answers kindly to that kind of pressure in this kind of setting. Put him under pressure in the courtroom and he thrives. In the comfort and safety of their own home, on the other hand, he has a habit of retreating from anything that might force him to confront what he’s feeling head-on.

His usually deft fingers tremble against his dark blue shirt as he struggles to undo a button. Sonny can see the sheen of sweat forming on his forehead and he hesitates only for a second before deciding to take the risk and step in to help. He doesn’t ask, just acts, gently batting Rafael’s hands away so he can take over undoing the first button.

Sonny glances up at his boyfriend, mildly disappointed to find Rafael gazing blankly at the ceiling. “I know it was a tough case.” Rafael’s lips purse into a thin, firm line but Sonny persists. “You did everything you could for those kids. Everything.”

“Son of a bitch still walked,” Rafael says, his voice low, borderline dangerous, almost acting as a warning for Sonny to back off the subject. “Everything wasn’t enough, was it?” Sonny has nothing to say to that so Rafael glares at him. “Maybe if I’d been given the evidence I needed—”

“I’m not trying to fight you,” Sonny interrupts. He’s halfway done with the buttons but he stops to rest a palm over Rafael’s chest. “I’m not, I swear. Sometimes it happens this way, we both know that. The jury didn’t see what we saw. I’m just saying I know it’s hard for you but I’m here for anything you need.”

“Hard for me,” Rafael echoes with a bitter smirk. “Whatever could you mean?”

Sonny should have just kept his mouth shut. It’s too late for that now, the line’s been crossed. He resumes the unbuttoning, relieved when he recognizes Rafael is letting him.

Once his shirt is loose and hanging open, Rafael shrugs it off, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. After another moment of carefully avoiding Sonny’s quizzical stare, his eyes flutter shut like he’s trying to prepare himself for what’s next, whether he knows what to expect or not.

But nothing comes. Rafael frowns, blinking his eyes back open to find Sonny still just watching him. No, he thinks, this isn’t just watching. It’s waiting. This is Sonny doing his best to give Rafael space without actually being able to go through with the space part. Rafael doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t want Sonny to be more than a few inches away from him right now either.

“I keep hoping one day it won’t hurt as much.” The admission comes quietly, Sonny’s sharp intake of breath does nothing to reassure Rafael that it’d been the right thing to say, and he suddenly feels all too naked. It’s just his shirt, he’s otherwise still clothed, but even though his body had been well-learned by Sonny ages ago, he still feels the need to defensively cross his arms over his chest.

But Sonny doesn’t need to search to know what he’ll find. There’s one thin line of raised skin near the center of Rafael’s spine, he’s traced over it more times than he can count. Just to the right of the base of his neck is a very nearly faded small, dark circle, one that might be mistaken for a bruise by anyone who doesn’t know better.

A belt and a cigarette, Rafael had admitted to him once, and those two instances had just happened to be bad enough to stick. Most of the time, Rafael seeks to prefer pretending those scars aren’t there. He doesn’t like talking about his father, doesn’t even like alluding to his father, and Sonny can’t fault him for that, not when there are physical reminders of why Rafael should want so badly to forget.

“I wish I hated him more.”

That’s new. It makes Sonny lift his brows in surprise and he steps closer to grip Rafael’s hips with his hands. “You can tell me.”

“There were good days,” Rafael says, “a lot of them. Sometimes the stretch of good lasted so long, I’d think maybe it wouldn’t happen again. Then I’d come home to the smell of beer and cigars and I knew— I just knew.”

Sonny’s fingertips find the scar on Rafael’s back. It seems so insignificant, it’s faded and thin and barely noticeable but for Rafael, it’s the worst kind of memory. That’s hard to reconcile for Sonny. He’s dealt with bullies, sure, but his parents had never raised a hand at him or any of his sisters. To think about what Rafael’s childhood must have been like, to think about how many times Rafael had walked through the door of his own home, only to be welcomed by a beating he didn’t deserve… it’s not something Sonny can dwell on for very long.

“When my mom called to tell me he died, she was in hysterics. I didn’t know what to feel. It made me angry to think I loved him, after everything. Nobody else ever knew. Nobody else ever did anything, anyway. I think about that more than I want to admit.”

Sonny sighs, brushing his lips against Rafael’s temple. “If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars. I wish I could have known you then. I wish I could have taken you away from him myself.”

Rafael’s smile is faint but genuine. “That you’re here now is enough. That I trust you enough to tell you any of this is enough.” He bites down on his lip, blinking up at the ceiling. Sonny can see tears reflecting under the dim light of the room. It damn near breaks his heart. “Those kids, someone was looking out for them. Someone believed them and then the system failed them.”

Everyone had failed Rafael. There’s one very important distinction to make now, though. Now he has Sonny.

“We just have to keep fighting,” Sonny says. “We keep trying to do right by the victims because our best is what they deserve and Rafael, you did your best. You always do.”

Rafael lifts hand to cup Sonny’s cheek, chuckling affectionately. “You take care of me. I don’t know if I tell you how much I appreciate that enough.”

“You don’t,” Sonny confirms, earning an incredulous scoff that only makes him grin. “Don’t worry, babe, that just makes the times you do say it that much more special.”

With a roll of his eyes, Rafael gives Sonny a playful push toward the bed. “Let’s forget the leftovers for a little while, okay? Just lie with me. Hold me. Is that okay?”

Sonny nudges the tip of Rafael’s nose with his own. “Of course it is, for as long as you want. There’s nothing else in the world I’d rather do.”

do you ever wish someone else wrote the fics you've written just so you could enjoy them from the reader's pov? like i was thinking about this today cuz reet is like in my top three fics of all time, literally under escapade, and that's a fav of yours too and like personally i'm thrilled by the fact that you're the writer of reet and i hope you loved writing it too, but have you ever wished to read any fic of yours from the other pov? also i'm currently reading reet for the dozenth time :’)

omf this is very sweet!! sometimes i do! idk if this is weird, but from time to time i’ve gone back and read three of the fics i’ve written because since i’ve been removed from it for so, long i think i can see wtf i wrote with fresh eyes whereas when i was writing them i felt like i was soooo in deep that i couldn’t experience at all in the same way as a reader would

the even numbers?

muns taste in muses meme // @deviumus​

are there any tropes that pull you in or that you realise are reoccuring in your muses?is not being good at expressing ones emotions honestly a trope because then that. my first tumblr oc, the doctor, a certain angel...

what’s the weirdest muse you’ve ever had?answered!

is there a muse you’d add or bring back if you didn’t have to worry about whether others are interested in them or not?hmmmm, not really - there are pastmuses i’d add if i had enough interest in committing to writing them again, but i don’t really care about whether there is interest or not, as long as even one person wants to write with a muse!

who is your latest muse? can be someone you’re only considering / not planning to play at all, but is tempting you.dean winchester is the latest i have actually paid attention towards, that i am going to add.

if you play original muses with canon roots  ( like oc siblings, coworkers, etc. )  or someone who’s been either just a name or a few lines of dialogue in canon, how do you build that character? do you pick the muse first and build from there, or do you need have the muse ready in your head and only then pick the connection, or a combination of the two?i have had one muse who was based on the doctor who universe and was connected to the doctor but had never met him. i try to avoid backstories that require canon muses to know an oc of mine because that was like a huge big noooooo in the doctor who rpc which was where i started tumblr rp. but she was someone who was fed lies about the tenth doctor and trained to assassinate him, or so she believed. so she knew him but he didnt know her! and i had the idea of someone who would try to kill the doctor before having the full idea of her as a character.

what’s the weirdest thing that has ever inspired you to make or pick up a muse?GOTTA SAY. the eleventh doctor i picked up before seeing his actual canon, not that i started writing him before watching his canon but omf. really, i was roleplaying the oc above with a tenth doctor and drabble prompts were a thing rather than memes back then? so i ended up writing a drabble with ten and iris, and the ten mun told me that my ten sounds like eleven like as in that i should write for eleven sometime and. i had not even seen his episodes yet! but i decided to write him there and then.

if you see that a friend of yours has just made a blog for a muse you were planning to play, will you still make the blog?yes. unless my friend gives me a very good reason not to? i can’t think of a very good reason though, really, because if they were not comfortable seeing me write the same character, i could just never interact with them from that blog? tell them to block it and so on. i am not going to give up a muse i really wish to write just to show kindness or what even. if it was a case of somehow them being really majorly anxious over it, i might consider it.

Pretending to faint when Seventeen scares you // reaction

You’re at the company building, trying to look for a Seventeen member who happens to be a good friend of yours. However, when they decide to scare you by coming out of a dark room, you fake a faint and pretend not to wake up. What would each member do?

Requested by @mymisstina . Thank you for sending in this idea! It’s super creative and I loved every second of writing this. Enjoy <3

You can request scenarios and reactions on my page if you wish :)

Seungcheol

FINALLY A REACTIONS POST I CAN PUT THIS LEGENDARY GIF IN. Coups would probably be surprised to see you fall to the ground, but he’d laugh over it. When he realizes you haven’t moved since you fell, it wouldn’t take long for him to get super concerned. He’d kneel down and start tapping your shoulders and face while calling out your name a couple of times. If you don’t give him any kind of response, Seungcheol would want to carry you over to a couch before he can call anyone for help. But as you’re being carried, you start laughing and give up on your joke. Seungcheol would then pretend to drop you, making you scream a little out of surprise, but he’d still catch you and laugh in your face as he sets you down gently. “That’s what you get for scaring the hell out of me, y/n.”

Jeonghan

“I didn’t know you could be so dramatic,” he’d say when you fall to the floor and don’t get up right away. He’ll be too busy laughing and teasing you at first, not minding the fact that you haven’t said anything since you collapsed. “Okay, you wanna get up now?” he’d ask and get nothing but silence. “Y/n?” he’d bend down to check your face. Your eyes are closed and your face is relaxed. “Oh my God,” Jeonghan would freak out and start tapping your cheeks to wake you up. He wouldn’t delay in calling Josh on his phone for assistance. “Josh, come down to room 214 right now... yes now... I don’t have time to explain, just get down here, please.” “Hey, tell Josh I say hi too,” you say and grin up at Jeonghan, who is hovering over you. He hangs up the phone, smiles, and rolls his eyes before he gets up to leave. “TAKE A JOKE, JEONGHAN,” you chase after him as he heads out the door. He’ll get over it only if you do something ridiculous for him to pay him back like fan him with a palm tree leaf as he sips mango juice on the couch or some shit.

Joshua

Forget the joke. Josh would immediately kneel by your side and frantically look all over you to see if you were really not moving. “sHE’S REALLY NOT MOVING,” inner Josh would scream. He’d start shaking your shoulders and yell your name a few times. He’d come pretty close to crying if you keep your silence up long enough. He’s just super caring and concerned about you okaY? He wouldn’t know what to do after trying his best to wake you up so he’d call out for help from where he’s kneeling. If he gets no response, he’ll drag you over to a wall and sit you up against it before inspecting you again. “HA I GOT YOU,” you’d smile while he’s up close to your face. His eyes would widen at the surprise and his hand would clutch his chest in relief. “Thank God, you actually scared me there, y/n.” This prank is something he wouldn’t bring up again, but it makes a great story to tease him with in the future.

Junhui

Jun wouldn’t be convinced the moment you fall down, so prepare yourself for some hardcore patience-testing. He’ll probably be laughing at you at first like a some of the members would, but when you don’t respond to any of his actions, legit this guy will sit down next to you after grabbing some food so he can watch and wait for you to give up your joke. “Anyday now, y/n,” he’d smile confidently at you. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen, sixteen... “I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST WASTED A CENTURY OF MY LIFE FOR NOTHING,” you’d open your eyes and surrender. “Hold up, I timed it and it was...” Jun pulls up his phone timer. “oH look at thAt: seventeen minutes and two seconds.” “Shut up, Jun.”

Soonyoung

Soonyoung is gonna laugh at you as you lie on the floor, assuming you were just exaggerating your own reaction to his scare. “I can’t believe it worked. You’re so weak, y/n.... y/n?” You aren’t moving, and your silence scares him for a moment. But after thinking it out, he smiles; he knows you’re up to something. “Hmmm, since y/n’s not waking up, how about I try some... mOuTh-To-mOuTh rEsUsCiTaTiOn??” WHY He’ll come super close to doing it, but will back out last minute and laugh in hesitation. “Okay this is where the joke sTOPS,” you give up in nervousness and Soonyoung dies of laughter. “I knew it would work,” he smirks. If you didn’t wake up, he probably would’ve done it, just sayingg

Wonwoo

He’d be frightened by sight of you falling to the ground, but most of his panic afterwards would be internal. “Okay, I don’t think that was supposed to happen,” he’d say to himself. He’ll give you a good shake on the shoulders. You can imagine Wonwoo saying, “uh, helloooo??” or “mm, are-are you okay there?” instead of repeating your name a billion times HE’S SO SHY N CUTE I LOVE. After checking your pulse on your wrist, he’ll rush to call up the last member he talked to for help. But before he can even call the member up: “I was expecting a little more of a reaction from you,” you say, disappointed, and surprise Wonwoo as you get up from the floor. He’d just smile at you and tell you not to do it again because it scared him a little more than he let on.

Jihoon

When you collapse, there’s no doubt Woozi will stare at you for a few seconds with that look (use the gif as reference lol). He’d think you’re just being overdramatic and would tell you to knock it off. When he’s greeted with nothing but silence, he’ll probably get a little concerned, but he still wouldn’t be fully convinced. He’ll shake your shoulder with a hand while saying your name. No response. “Okay, y/n you can stop now,” he’d nervously laugh. “Y/n?” Nothing. “Look, if you don’t wake up now, we can’t be friends anymore,” he’d say with a serious tone. Absolute silence. “Oh my God, nononononO,” he panics and grabs for his phone to call Seungcheol. “Hey, I’m a little late,” you make Jihoon jolt a little at the sound of your voice. “But can we still be friends?” Jihoon gets up from the floor and walks away, not saying a word. “JIHOON I’M SORRY IT WAS A JOKE.” “Don’t talk to me for a good week, y/n,” he’d respond. This sounds more angsty than I intended LOL Don’t worry. He’ll forgive you in a day or two if you do something really nice for him.

Seokmin

He’d think he’s such a genius for getting to you that well, so the first few minutes would just be him laughing really hard. When he finally calms down a bit, he’ll realize that you haven’t woken up yet. His face will draw a blank as a he tries to tap your face but with no response. “You really fucked up this time, Seokmin,” he’d think to himself as he shakes your shoulders a little more violently. He honestly wouldn’t know who to call out of the other 12 members, so he’d probably call the member he called most recently. As he’s making the call, you scare him by taking a sudden hold of his wrist, making him scream really loudly into the phone. “We discussed this already, Seokmin. What did we say about randomly screeching into phones???” Seungcheol would answer his call and highkey wish he didn’t. He wouldn’t take the incident to heart. It’s just another funny joke for the two of you to laugh over in the future.

Mingyu

He’d probably be laughing at first when you fall, but when he realizes you’re not getting up, Mingyu will crouch down next to you to check your facial expression. If your face is emotionlesss, he’d be the kind of guy to act all smart and check your pulse on your wrist and then your neck. Then an awful idea will hit him: “hey why don’t I just tickLE Y/N?” he’d say aloud to give you a warning. If you start squirming because you’re naturally ticklish, Mingyu is probably gonna laugh at you for failing ;; but if you’re not ticklish and don’t react at all, he’ll start freaking out and would immediately call leader Seungcheol for help. When you finally start breaking out in laughter and give up on acting, Mingyu won’t talk to you for a few hours, but he’d have one of those dissapointed/cute smiles whenever you try to apologize. Y’all will hug it out by the end of the day, I promise :)

Minghao

Minghao is probably not gonna believe you from the start. He knows everyone can pull a joke here and there, and this could definitely be one of them. “Okay, y/n, nice try,” he’d laugh. If you don’t fidget, he’ll start to get a little more annoyed and will most likely resort to kicking you lightly with his foot. “If you don’t wake up now, I’ll start kicking harder,” he threatens. “Y/n, I’m serious, wake up.” “Y/n?” “Y/N.” “HEY, WAKE UP. SERIOUSLY.” He’ll get a little nervous if you keep it up, but he’d eventually bend down to check your breathing. And when he hears your breaths, he’ll laugh at you. He knows it’s fake. “If you’re gonna nap here, at least let me join you,” he says as he lies down on the floor next to you. When you give up and tell him it was a joke, he’ll smirk and be like, “yeah I told you I knew it was fake.”

Seungkwan

Oh my God this boy will screaM at the sight of you motionless on the floor. He’d look around the room to check if anyone is present to help him. But when he realizes it’s just you two, he’s gonna get right into shaking your shoulders desperately to wake you up. Being the emotional guy he is, he’d probably start crying if you don’t wake up in less than a minute lmao. Seungkwan would be so caught up in his emotions that he’d probably forget to call someone for help for a little while rip you if this was actually real. When you finally wake up and tell him it’s all a joke, he’ll happily hug you at first, knowing that everything is fine. However, he’s definitely gonna hold a grudge over it for the longest time omf.

Hansol

He’d be laughing when he hears you scream out of shock, but when you “pass out” on him, Hansol’s gonna have this “oh shit” look all over his face. It would take a few moments for what just happened to sink in completely, and then he’ll start taking action to wake you up. He’s probably gonna shake your shoulder with a hand first, and then say your name a few more times. If you’re really still, he’ll bend his ear down to your chest to check for any heartbeat/breathing sounds. He’ll be convinced you only fainted, so he’ll drag you over to a chair or couch himself before calling on someone to help him out. “BOO,” you scream while Hansol is busy phoning another member for help. He’ll jolt up and then immediately smile. He won’t be that mad, but he’ll definitely bring it up later on when he’s asking you for favors, like “hey, y/n get me a drink.” “why?” “remember that one time you pretended to pass out on me and almost gave me a heart atta-” “OKAY FINE I GET IT, YOU’RE STILL SALTY. JEEZ.”

Chan

Our poor baby would probably be the most worried out of everyone (aka the most gullible one out of svt in this situation lololol). As soon as you collapse to the ground, Chan will lower himself to you and yell your name out a couple times right into your face good luck. If that doesn’t work, his real panic mode will turn on and he’ll just have this super worried face as he tries to think of other ways to wake you up. He’d be hesitant to touch you, but he’ll probably lightly tap your cheeks with his hand to see if you’ll at least move. He wouldn’t hesitate to call out to one of his hyungs for help if nothing was working. Chan would be shocked to see you wake up and laugh at him all of a sudden because he would’ve definitely thought all of it was real LOL. He might be a little mad when he realizes you faked all of it, but he’ll get over it quickly bc hEY YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY DIE ON HIM !11!!!1

General, Sir

Request; I'm super nervous about this but I do have a request. A Benjamin x reader where she meets Washington for the first time? Maybe Washington doesn't know Ben was married? I dunno just a thought. I'm not creative. Love your writing!!

Prompt; George mistakes the young madame to be a single lady, only to find out otherwise...

Pairing(s); Benjamin Talmadge x reader

Warning(s); some nsfwww , jealousy ? otherss :)

A/N; this was gonna be short but then I realized lets throw some nsfw shit in there and make it longer >:) so thats what I did AHAHHA,,, it aaaaalso might not be good because I had to rewrite it omf

alsoooo sorry if you wanted something else but this is what I did :(

When your husband insisted that you join him to the ball, you didn't fight him on it. Finding a dress in time was no issue with the help of your dear friend, Hercules. So when the time came around, you were probably the most stunning woman in the room, with your natural beauty and exquisite dress.

“Everyones staring at me” you mumbled to Ben, looking up to see him already staring down at you. You blushed and looked away, his laughter filling your ears as his arm came around your waist, holding you close to his chest.

“Thats because you are absolutely stunning, my love” you sighed as he pressed a kiss to your temple. Although your time together was cut short before a servant came up to Ben claiming General Arnold wished to see him. And knowing Arnold your time together would be even shorter.

“I promise, a few minutes” you rolled your eyes, swirling your champagne within your glass.

“If General Arnold's talking, you’ll be gone the whole night and I have no friends here!” you pouted, slightly begging for him to take you with him even if you had to endure Arnold's stupid rants about congress. 

“Its only us dear, I'm sure you’ll find someone to entertain you” he winked, faking his pain when you slapped his shoulder. Your annoyance didn't go unnoticed.

“Shut up, just go” he smiled, pecking a quick kiss to your lips before leaving to the next room. You stayed to the back wall, watching everyone mingle and drink to the soft music playing in the background. You noticed a few women talking together in a group, sneaking glances over at you every so often before returning to giggling.

You were slowly growing annoyed every time they looked back, you even recognized one of the quiet women to be Mr. Arnold’s new finance. She was silently looking at you, but she didn't indulge in the other women’s gossip, she didn’t even smile with them.

“You know if you would like to speak of me, maybe you should speak to me while I'm here” you snapped after a few minutes in listening to them giggle on about you. They all blushed in embarrassment except for one who smirked at the cutting way of your words.

“We didn't-”

“Shut up” they gasped in horror, shuffling away as you looked over them in distaste. With that, you pushed off the wall and moved towards the other room where the men and there wives mingled and danced along the floor.

You gulped down the rest of your champagne to ease your raging nerves before reaching for another. The servant gave you a bleak smile before scurrying off, you drank a good portion before you heard a voice come from behind you.

“May I ask why such a fine lady is already on her 4th glass tonight?” you didn't even bother looking back on the poor fellow as you drank and spoke.

“No, because it is none of your business, so may I ask why you’ve been stalking me?” you heard him chuckle, clearly amused, where you weren’t. 

“My, a woman with fire, I like that” you rolled your eyes, ready to fire more of your annoyance at this man but froze when you turned and saw who exactly you were dealing with. You didn't see his face first, just his broad chest and high ranking medals adorning proudly. When you looked up, your face was immediately drowned in red with embarrassment. 

“So her beauty matches her attitude I see” George smiled kindly at you as you were at a complete loss for words. You had just sassed the most important man in the country.

“I-I’m so sorry General, sir” you squeaked, clutching the glass as everyone turned to look at the both of you in interest. 

“It’s quite alright Miss..”

“YN, YN is fine” he nodded, smiling softly while bowing slightly, hand out in a gesture for you to take.

“May I have this dance, Miss YN?” you bit your lip nervously, looking around to see if Ben had returned only to realize he was still with General Arnold in the next room. Much to your dislike.

“Not like I can say no to you, General sir”

“George, please I insist, and of corse you have a choice Miss YN” you smiled at this and took his hand. You handed the glass away as he took your hand in his, his other trailing down to the small of your back. You pushed away your discomfort, this was the General of the continental army you were dancing with.

“Now tell me Miss YN, why were you so annoyed?” he spoke slowly and calmly, and you felt yourself somewhat relaxing to the sound.

“Just women, you know how it is” you sighed, looking from the corner of your eye at the group of women who still huddled together. When they caught your eye they immediately stopped and looking down shamefully. 

He chuckled, twirling you before pulling you back, closer than the last time. Your chest were touching, his hand just a bit lower on your back than before. You felt heat rise in your cheeks as his lips came down closer to your ear.

“Dont worry about them Miss YN, they have nothing on you..” you stuttered for a reply as he pulled back to catch your reaction. He was smirking but you felt all color drain from you when you heard someone clear their throat from behind you. Without even needing to look you knew exactly who it was..

“Benjamin, I was just about to look for you, but I should apologize I got distracted” your cheeks burned as the man obliviously hit on you in front of your husband. You saw Ben’s jaw clench but he said nothing, only giving the general a tight lipped smile.

“Mind if I have a moment with, Miss YN?” you swallowed thickly as the man nodded before departing, not without giving you a kiss on the hand as a parting gift. Ben growled lowly, luckily he didn't hear, and grabbed your hand in his tightly. He dragged you until you were both safely alone in the barely light hallway, the candles not reaching the darkened corners.

“Ben!” you hissed, even though no one was around you felt like someone could catch you both at any second. You gasped in shock as he pushed you up against the wall, a low thud echoing in the empty hall. 

You could see his eyes darkened with jealously, his sneer directly in your line of sight as his hands tightened on your arms. You crossed your legs to avoid the tingling feeling, making sure to keep your eyes locked on his.

“I leave you for a few minutes only to come back and see you in the arms of my general?” although he looked angry, his tone was nothing of the same. His hands slowly running down your arms, towards your bodice, pressing his body up against yours.

“You told me to mingle and those girls where so annoying I just-” you stopped talking, or more likely stopped breathing when you felt his hands hiking up your dress, fingertips trailing over your thighs. 

“You just what? decided to dance with the man who could easily get me out the picture?” he growled out. You bit your lip to keep from crying out as his evident budge pressed against you. He slowly grinder into you, his hands tightening around your thigh, keeping you locked in place.

“N-No I-” 

You breathed shakily, his fingers nearing dangerously close to your core. Your leg hiked up a little higher on his leg, giving his fingers access to caress at your soaking panties. 

“Already YN? how long’ve you been like this?” his head dipping into the crook of your neck. You squeezed his shoulder, moaning a bit as he kissed at the newly exposed skin.

“Ben! someone could come out any second!” your warning lost in your moans. You could practically feel his smirk broaden against your neck.

“Then they’ll really know who you belong to, Miss YN” he teased, nipping at the heated skin just below your jaw, emitting a small squeak from you. You squirmed in his arms, rocking your hips slightly against his bulge and moaning at the well needed friction. He grunted, arm tightening around you, his fingers slowly rubbing circles around your clit.

You were moaning breathlessly as he continued to kiss and suck on your neck, nearly giving yourself to him until the doors to the ballroom swung open.

You couldn’t see who the newcomer was in the darkness of the hall. You tensed, attempting to get away from Ben’s fingers, but his grip on your waist kept you in place. He placed a finger over his lips, staring directly into your eye’s as to stay quiet. But you knew the person must have seen the both of you because he cleared his throat to get both of your attention.

“Excuse me..” 

Your eyes went wide, but Ben’s stayed calm, if only darkening more as he looked over his shoulder to address the man.

“General Washington” your face burned ten times hotter hearing his name. You tried to hide more behind Ben, trying to use the shadows to held hide you more. You heard the General chuckle, holding a candle light in his hand, stance wide with a small smile on his lips.

“Benjamin, I had no idea you were...” all the while he was talking, his voice seemed to trail off as Ben moved a bit so your face was revealed. You pinched Ben as hard as you could to keep him in place, but he was to full of spite to stop now. “..busy”

“My... Miss YN, lovely seeing you again” you bit your tongue , nearly drawing blood. You opened your mouth but no words came out, only a pathetic squeak that made Ben smirk more. You wanted to kill him.

“General I must’ve forgotten, Miss YN is actually my wife” his hand that had been hidden under your skirts were on you again, slowly rub circles against the bundle of nerves. You swallowed down a moan as you kept your eyes glued to Washington, who looked ready to speak some more.

“Then allow me to apologize for my behavior earlier Miss YN, I had no idea” you nodded. His fingers slowly sliding into you, his thumb grazing your clit, and words flew out your mouth to prevent you from crying out in pleasure.

“Its no problem General, sir” you bit your tongue as his fingers slid back out, slipping up and down your soaking folds. You gripped his uniform as if your life depended on it, as he slid a single digit inside you.

“Well, I’ll get going, enjoy yourselves” you nearly missed the small quirk of his lip, as he send you a wink before turning to return into the parlor room. Once the door shut completely behind him, you let out a low moan you’d been holding, Ben’s eyes back on you.

“Now, where were we?”

im literally so sad Turn is done .. (UNEDITED) my own writing makes me cringe ewww 

Hello there! I would like to ask a scenario for ada dazai who meets the reader and he falls really hard for her but he gets this job to find out who was behind the prime minister's murder ( lmao had to be powerful ) and he discovers it's actually the mafia reader? A fluff ending would be amazing but i just don't see it whatsoever so you do you? Maybe she doesn't want to fight him and they just share a long talk? Okay i am done now i promise

i think i have just the idea i see it so clearly and its too beautiful omf thank you for requesting bby i hope you like this! 

rly tho damn someone should write a movie about this i’d def watch it

also we are gonna assume that he already knew she was in the mafia, he just didn’t know what she was capable of bc lets be honest that man is smarter than that

Dazai was not the type of person to fall in love with someone so easily, so when he finally fell for you, he fell hard.

Loving someone meant trusting them, and trusting them meant not doubting them. Which is what he always have done with you, love you and trust you.

Except right now, all of that is being put to hold. 

Not knowing what to think or feel he just held the piece of paper in his hand, which had your name on it. All he knew at this moment is that the one responsible for killing the prime minister is none other than you.

He stood there for a full 5 minutes just staring at the piece of paper until the first and only thing to cross his mind was that he needed to see you.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the two of you have actually seen each other, but that wasn’t so odd with the two of you. You both understood that no matter what, you still loved and cared about each other endlessly. You also understood that this was just the nature of your daily jobs.

Sometimes you would go two weeks without even calling each other, but that was still fine. You both knew that time never actually showed how much you truly loved someone or cared about them.

Dazai’s reasons to wanna see you all the time were everything but this. He hurriedly called your phone, but there was no answer. Not wanting to waltz in the Port Mafia unannounced he hoped you were at home.

Shoving the paper into his coat, he quickly started making his way to your apartment. It really did not help that the roads were crowded and the rain did not stop for anyone.

After half an hour of driving between the busy roads and the showers of rain with completely nothing but you on his mind, he was finally at the door of your apartment. 

He knocked on your door five times, no answer. He called your name, and still no answer. 

Were you sleeping? he wondered. 

Still, it’s like 8:30 pm and he never knew you for an early sleeper. Going for his last resort he tried opening your door and to his surprise it was unlocked.

Another thing he knew for sure right now is that he was worried. 

Why’d you keep your door unlocked? Did you flee? Is that what you’ve been doing for the past two weeks? Did your really leave him without even so much as an explanation, is this how much he mattered to you?

He walked in and found the lights off. In fact, all the lights were off. Except he noticed that your jacket was on the couch. If you really had fled, then you would have took all your clothes with you, right?

He walked more to observe what else is different, he walked in the bathroom and found that your toothbrush was still there, all of your things were still there in fact. 

He checked almost everywhere and it seemed like everything was still the same, nothing missing, nothing new. The only place he was yet to check was your bedroom.

He got closer to the door and put his ear to it. He could hear something, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. 

Slowly, he pushed the doorknob and opened it. He finally found you.

Your bedroom was also really dark with no lights turned on, he could barely make out your silhouette. 

You were curled up in bed, facing the wall and quietly crying. You didn’t even seem to notice someone just walked in on you, let alone your apartment door was unlocked.

Forgetting everything he knew right now, he ran by your side and put his hand in your hair, softly playing with it and putting it away from your face. 

“Shhh, I’m here now love, I got you.” he whispered, his hand still playing with your hair.

Your cries only grew stronger after hearing him say that, and your body only curled tighter. You were trembling and not wanting him to see your face, you kept it down. 

“I’m sorry.” you mumbled.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

You grabbed his hand that was in your hair, and squeezed it gently before putting it away and sitting up to readjust yourself.

You wiped your tears away and looked him in the eyes. 

“If anyone saw me like this right now, they’d never think I’m capable of taking someone’s life, even though I have.” you chuckled.

You chuckled after saying that but he saw it. He saw it hurt you a lot more to actually say that than make you laugh. 

He didn’t say anything but remained on the floor watching you and waiting to hear you out.

“You know, even with me working in the Port Mafia, this is actually the first time I’ve ever killed someone. I always just hurt people but never actually took their own life.” you spoke with tears still pouring down your face.

You wiped them again and continued. “I’m not trying to justify what I did or say it wasn’t wrong, because it was. Although, even though I know it’s wrong and even though I regret it, I can’t say he didn’t deserve it. He wasn’t really the best person.”

“I just wish I wasn’t the one to do it.” you finished.

In fact you’ve spent those two weeks wallowing in regret and self hatred. You haven’t even been to work ever since then. You barely slept, you barely ate, just breathing seemed exhausting.

You hated yourself after doing this.

How can anyone even love me after doing that? you thought. 

You really cherished those times before you did what you did. Those times where you thought you weren’t such a horrible person, those times you could go on with your day without remembering that someone’s blood was on your hands.

Those times where Dazai loved you so much.

How can he love you now? After knowing what you did? You can’t even forgive yourself, how can anyone forgive you?

You’re glad you at least got to have someone love you for once.

“You made a mistake, people make mistakes. You did something and you regret it, but you learn from it.” he finally interrupted your thoughts and spoke out loud.

“But I killed a person! I made the selfish decision of deciding whether he gets to live or not.” you cried.

He smiled at you.

Even though Dazai was disappointed, he knew the regret of making huge mistakes. He knew what it felt to do something and feel like utter crap after it. He knew how it really felt to take away someone’s life and regret it.

He knew how you felt, which is why he can empathize and help you get through it. He was the last person to ever have the right to judge you, not when he too had made many mistakes in his life.

He too have done what you did before and even worse. He too have been where you are right now, he too thought he should give up on himself, on everything and think it’s too late to fix anything.

But that was until someone came along and told him to do the right thing. Someone still saw the good in him even when he couldn’t see it himself. Someone taught him that mistakes are made to be learnt from and not took as an example for who you truly are. 

Mistakes never defined a person and no one better than him knew that.

How can he let the person he loved the most go through what he’s gone through without trying to understand? Without trying to help?

He wasn’t ready to give up on you just yet, but he was ready to be your someone.

If someone took the time to actually see the good in him, then he sure as hell can see the good in you. He wasn’t any better than you, and he won’t forgive himself if he let you go this easily.

He stood up and brought his body closer to yours. He held you tight to his chest and let you cry on it. He noticed your body was still trembling from crying so much so he started caressing your back gently.

“I know it’s hard, but I promise, we’ll get through this together.” he whispered closely to your ears and then kissed the top of your head.

He held you in his arms the entire night, his hands roaming in your hair until you finally fell asleep. 

Survey #106

gonna start making the surveys i compile a tad bit shorter.

Does your mom have nice hair? I guess? Do you prefer really cold water (to drink)? Yes, I'd prefer to not drink warm water. But that's true with any drink. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Doing that with your eyes open would creep me out. Can you keep a secret? I have literally never told a secret before. Because I respect people trusting me enough to tell me about such things. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? Meet my best friend and crush ya'll lmao. Has anyone ever told you they couldn’t trust you? I don't think so. Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Probably my brother. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? When I drove, I was far too passive to be safe. Too skittish. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Uhhh idk. Probably going to his/her house and being home alone with the person. I'd be scared. Would you rather help others, or just help yourself? Help others. Are you the kind of person that’s afraid to cry in public? I don't know anyone who isn't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rejected by someone you really liked? More like loved. Have you ever used fake tan? No. Have you ever had a panic attack? Probably around 100 times. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yes, because they’re often better than “grown-up” movies. <<< This. Who is one person you wish you would have never met? Rachel. She had no form of positive impact on my life. What was your 1st alcoholic beverage? A lemonade daiquiri, but drinking it was actually an accident. x_x What’s your favorite type of milk? If chocolate milk doesn't count, 2%. Are you laid-back? No, I'm constantly anxious. When at home with nothing to do, do you wear socks? I wear socks as little as I possibly can because I hate them. Is your bed actually a bed? Yeah. Do you prefer other sleeping arrangements rather than the usual bed? Why? No, I prefer a bed. Comfier than pretty much anything else. How often do you shower?  Every other day unless I feel dirty for whatever reason. If you were given a plane ticket for free right now to Florida, what part would you go to/what would you do? Orlando for Disney World, obviously. When you get upset, do you prefer to go to friends for support or to be left alone? Do you wallow or do you continue on with life? It reeeaally depends. Would you rather have the ability to speed up time, freeze time, or go back in time? Probably none, honestly... Have you ever had a teacher you got really close with? Many. What chain restaurant (Applebees, Ruby Tuesdays, Outback, etc..) is your favorite? Olive Garden omf Can you actually picture yourself getting married/having kids, or is that something that seems too distant in the future to imagine? I can see myself married, but not with kids. Ever. Would you rather eat all day or exercise all day? Uhhh neither? Eating all day would fuck someone up, and God knows I don't have the endurance to exercise all day, I legitimately would pass out. Do you write? Daily. Have you ever gone to see a movie past 9:00 PM? Pretty sure I did with "Silent Hill: Revelation." Would you rather hold hands or link arms with your significant other? Hold hands. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personality. A pretty face doesn't mean they've got a pretty personality whatsoever. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? Actually, I never took it. There was an alternative option called physical science. Would you rather eat rice or bread? Depends on the type of rice or bread, but let's just say it's my favorite bread (pumpernickel) versus my favorite rice (pork fried). I'd go with pumpernickel any day of the week. Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Not since I was very little with my younger sister. I wouldn't do it as an adult because it's both impractical and claustrophobic, and not to mention it's my personal time to get clean and such. Are you hard to please?
 No. When are you at your happiest?
 Hm, I dunno. Do you have a waste basket in your car? We have a bag. Have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? God no, even if I did, I wouldn't tell them. Awkward. Have your parents asked you to explain a term and you lied because it was inappropriate? No. If I didn't want to explain the term, I'd just tell them to look it up. Do your parents know you have a Tumblr account? No, but it's not like I'd hide it if they asked. Is there anyone you wish you could apologize to? Who? Maybe... no one's coming to mind now. Typically, do you like being asked a lot of questions? Strictly depends on the questions. Do you put up with more in friendships than in relationships? Yes. I'm way more picky with an s/o. Do you feel better sleeping alone, or with someone else? Alone. When I was with Jason I was sometimes happier sleeping with him, but in general, I find sleeping alone more comfortable. Do you enjoy applying make up, if you wear it? God no, hence why I wear it less than once in a blue moon. Do physical exams make you uncomfortable? Holy fuck yes, don't touch me. Do you like ketchup or mustard better with your corn dogs? I haven't had a corn dog in YEARS. I probably wouldn't put anything on one. Do you like peas? NO. Apparently I loved them as a baby, though. Don't know what the hell happened. Have you ever kissed under water? I think I have? Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? Don, yes.  Any other, no. Have you ever swam while it was raining? Yeah, no harm in that when you're already in water. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LOOOONG Is your hair a lot different from when you were little? Not really, other than the fact I had bangs as a kid. Have you ever gotten stung by a stingray or a jellyfish? No. Do you know how to do laundry? This is extremely embarrassing, but no. My mom has always done all our laundry together and likes to do it herself. But I still need to learn for obvious reasons. When you wash your hands, do you use the cold or hot tap (faucet)? Hot, but our water heats up slow, so. If you had to be straight/gay for a day (whichever you’re currently not!), what celebrity would you most like to take on a date? I'm bi, so. What is the biggest injury you’ve ever sustained and how did you do it? I fell onto the road while running and skinned the actual fuck out of both knees, especially my right. Like to the point there was pus. What is the most unique animal you’ve ever touched? Probably just a reticulated python (pretty sure that's what it was, maybe I'm wrong...). Not all that strange, but. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Describe it in detail. It involved my dad and no, I'm not describing it. Put these in order of your favorite movie genre to least: Horror, action, thriller, adventure, superhero, romance, drama, comedy, musical and dance? Horror, comedy, superhero, adventure, romance, thriller, action, drama, musical and dance. If you had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would you choose and why? Smell, as I think that would affect your life the least. Name all the drugs you have tried: None that weren't prescribed. Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried: Only daiquiris and margaritas. Name all the drugs you’d never do: I'd never do any. What is the most alcohol you’ve drank in a night? Four daiquiris on New Year's and it did almost nothing. @_@ I handle alcohol extremely well. I should probably add though that I wasn't drinking with the intent to get drunk, I just drink drinks in general a lot. I'm always thirsty. What do you order from McDonald’s? It alternates between McDoubles and chicken nuggets with usually a small but occasionally medium fry. What do you order from Burger King? I don't like BK. What do you order from Wendy’s? A Baconator like a fatass cries. What do you order from Sonic? A hot dog. I tried a bacon cheeseburger there recently tho and I liked it, so I might get that sometimes. What do you order from Taco Bell?  The only two things I like there are the chicken and cheese quesadillas and fiesta potatos. I hate Mexican food. How would you feel if a girl asked your boyfriend/girlfriend out for a drink?
 I'm single.  I broke up with my ex just today because I'm just too scared of men.  It had been almost four months and I was coming no closer to him than I was as his friend.  I didn't feel safe opening up to him.  It's going to take me a while to be comfortable romantically around a man again.  Another reason I broke up with him is because I realized I have a crush on my best friend. Any idea what you want for your next birthday?
 A bearded dragon. Name some models you think are hot: I don't know of any models. Not my thing. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress?
 No, considering I'm not even somewhat revealing. Where did you lose your virginity, if you have? I haven't. What are your views on getting rid of the penny? Don't care. Have you ever kissed someone underneath mistletoe? Maybe, but I don't think so. Do you have a weak stomach?
 Nope. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer?
 Three people that I know in my family have had cancer. I think I know one other, but probably more, realistically. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No, but really, I prolly shoulda the night my friend was so wasted she called her husband to ask if she could get high (her sister's fuckboy was brazen enough to bring his weed to her house) despite her being against drugs. I went the fuck to bed because I was exhausted and had to leave the next morning at 6 AM. @_@ Which website do you spend the most time on?
 YouTube Do you read fanfiction? If so, what fandoms?
 Believe this shit or not, no. It's usually waaaaaay too smutty. Are you more introverted or extroverted?
 If it gives you any idea, you know the popular site where you can take the personality type quiz? I am almost entirely on the introvert spectrum lol. Do you like meatball subs? Nope. Like I'll eat one if it's the only choice, but I don't enjoy them. If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? I only ever call them by their names. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets? Both. I support most being inside, but larger breeds should be outside so they can get rid of all that energy. Obviously bring them in in unfavorable weather, though. Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money? NOPE. Scariest driver you’ve ridden with: One of the scariest experiences in my entire life was this time Dad had to pick me and Nicole up from middle school, or maybe I'd just gotten into high school. He was in an awful mood so went WAY over the speed limit, ran red lights, and passed illegally. It was absolutely terrifying. And mind you, the ride home normally took about 25 minutes. Do you know anybody who is afraid of clowns? Lots of people. Do you listen to ASMR? No. The ones with people whispering make me super uncomfortable. Rain storms or a light drizzle? STORMS What snacks do you usually get at the theater? Please, I bring my own shit. Sometimes buy popcorn tho. What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition? UGH "Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs." It's my third-favorite game of all time, but it's pretty criticized for not being what people expected. Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb? No, too much maintenance. Thoughts on freckles? They can be super cute. What band do you never get tired of listening to? Ozzy<3 Like I'm not constantly in the mood for him, but if I listen to a song, I always enjoy it. Do you have anything that belongs to an ex? Yep. Do you put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? No. Does it bother you when dogs lick you? Not usually. What is the best thing you can draw? I think I'm best at meerkats. Are you good at wrapping presents? NOPE I AM THE WORST. Do you put your hair up when you cook? I don't cook. Do you prefer Mountain Dew or Sprite? I don't like Sprite, so. Have you ever encountered a ghost?  I feel that I have. Does anybody in your contacts have a heart after their name?  No. Who was the villain in the last superhero movie you watched?  Hmmm... it has been a LONG time since I've watched a superhero movie.  I actually enjoy superhero movies, I just don't see them much. Does your phone have hole for charms? No cries. I have a Pyramid Head phone charm and I wANNA USE IT DAMMIT Who was the last person you spoke on the phone for over an hour?  I don't even think we've ever talked that long, but the closest and most recent would probably be Colleen.  I never talk on the phone long. Ditched school to do something more fun? No. Do you take compliments well? I appreciate them immensely and even the smallest one will literally brighten my day, but I get very shy about it, especially if you say it to my face. Has a boy/girl ever called you babe/baby? Yup, fucking hated it. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Yes.  It gives me a headache.  I also don't fancy cancer. Have you ever kissed on a boat? No. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go some place?  No, but I'll let my Mom know. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like bigger dogs because they act like they're so smol and are usually babies at heart. Do you trust all of your friends?  No. Are you afraid of falling in love? FUCK YES I AM Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?  Yes, but I don't believe he meant it, honestly.  I feel he was just trying to appease me. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest/fastest for? Nope, which is for the better. Jim Carrey movie or Adam Sandler movie? Jim Carrey, but I can enjoy both. Favorite music genre?  Heavy metal. Do you like your body?  I enjoy how resilient it is, particularly as far as bone strength and my immune system, but I don't like it in general at all. Zombies or vampires? Vamps. Do you like mood rings?  I don't believe they work. How many stories does your mall have?  One.  It's an awful mall both in stores and things that happen there. New York City or Paris? I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy Paris more. Ever been skydiving?  If no, would you want to? No and no.  I'm scared of heights and the idea of the parachute failing is just... no.  The idea is thrilling though. Do you order your burgers with only ketchup? No, they also have mustard. Skirts or jeans? I wouldn't wear one, but skirts are super cute. What is your worst relationship quality?  I think the fact I'm very distrustful and need a lot of personal space are tied. Are you a fan of cake?  I don't always enjoy the frosting, but I love cake itself. Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?  No, I was essentially the teacher's pet ha ha.  Didn't try to be, but. Are you a very affectionate person? Verbally, very, almost not at all physically. What is something that makes you very squeamish?  Vomit. Do you have any godchildren? AHHHHHH!  I have one coming in May!! Ever had to take a sobriety test?  No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it?  No. Have you ever abused an animal?  Holy fuck no. Have you ever been homeless? Technically, yes, but I lived with my best friend for a month. Did the last book you read have a good ending?  No.  Well, no as in what happened, but good as in I liked it. Did the last book you read have a character in it that made you mad?  She doesn't make me mad, but I hate Jaina. Do you like the color orange?  Yeah. Would you ever drive an orange car?  Actually, I've known for a long time that if I ever do have a car, I'd prefer a burnt orange one. Do you own a fall wreath? Yeah. What event did you last dress up for? Who went to that event? Uhhh probably Ashley's wedding, so over a year ago.  And plenty of people. What is the last illegal thing you did, even the smallest crime? Rode in a car with my friend while she smoked weed because I was too nervous to tell her I didn't want to go with her.  I was terrified. Beard or moustache? I don't particularly have an opinion on either, but I'm more likely to like a beard. Have you ever witnessed a birth?  I've seen cats give birth many times, and while I'm honestly terrified to because personally I find birth more disgusting than miraculous, I really do want to be in the room with Colleen when she has her baby.  I mean c'mon, she's my best friend, and I'm also going to be his/her godmother.  I want to be there. Where’s your favorite place to be when you feel depressed?  My room.  But that's no different than any other time. Would you like to be able to read thoughts?  Not really, no. Have you ever been on a farm?  Yes.  Ashley had a friend who lives on one. Do you have freckles?  No. What is the temperature currently in the town you live in?  According to my phone, 60.  So glad fall's here, and the middle of the night. Have you ever made out on a couch?  Yeah. What are you doing on Halloween?  I don't know, but I hope I do something. Do you own any Sims games? Which ones?  I own most of the animal ones.  I used to looove them. Do you know anyone who still doesn’t have a smartphone?  My mom.  She legit has an ObamaPhone because we're poor. What is your favorite kind of fruit juice?  Mango and peach mix. Do you acknowledge your feelings or ignore them? I've always acknowledged them. If you have kids, do you pack lunches or send lunch money?  I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd pack lunch for them if they didn't like what was being served that day. Do you have any cousins that you’re jealous of? Why?  Robby and Audrey, yes.  They're both veeery ambitious, smart, talented, and on paths to great success. Do you hate your last name? Do you want to get married so you can change it?  I actually don't like my last name, but I don't want to get married just to change it, that's ridiculous. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up?  Aaron, and I realized it was merely platonic attraction. Is green your favorite color?  I actually don't like green unless it's pastel or mint, and even then, I'm not big on it. Have you ever fallen asleep laying on your boyfriend/girlfriend?  One ex, yes. What was the last vacation you went on?  The beach with Colleen and her husband last May. Describe your best friend’s hair. Colleen's is short, somewhat curly towards the end, and light brown right now, and Sara's is long and brown. In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? English Which of the seven deadly sins are you most guilty of? Quite easily sloth. Do you have very strong opinions?  Usually, yes.  Sometimes I'm totally ambivalent, occasionally on important issues, which honestly bothers me, but I just.  Can't always pick a side. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Have you ever had to give a pet away?  Our neighbors called animal control once because they complained about our cats wandering into their yard.  The bullshit thing is they never actually confronted us about it, they just called them and they were all taken.  I fucking sobbed, especially because this included Aphrodite, one of my favorite cats we've ever had. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire?  Yes, hot dogs.  They taste amazing like that. Is anybody in your family disabled? I don't think so. If you have Facebook, how many friends do you have on there? I checked, 116. Have you ever worn a corset?  No but I totally would if I was smaller because they're fucking hot. What is your favorite pair of earrings? I have these really pretty, hanging earrings that are circular-shaped, the outside being made of black gems and then three chains hanging down inside of it, the center of each having a little black bow.  They're super cute; I wore them to I think both of my proms. Do you have health insurance?  We're in the process of trying to get it. When was the last time you cleaned your ears via QTip?  It's been like a month because I was instructed not to after I got my ears cleaned after wax being literally adhered to my eardrums because I used q-tips so frequently; it pushed it back too far.  My mom now uses some kind of tool to clean my ears for me because my ears have always produced waaay too much wax and I don't want to not clean them. Ever lived through a natural disaster?  Yes, hurricanes. How many tattoos do you want?  Oh my gosh, so many.  I want my arms and shoulders essentially covered, I know I want one on the top of my right hand, there's one I want on my hip, I might get one on my foot...  I don't think I'll get any on my legs, though.  There's few I like that look good there imo. Are you planning to go see a movie anytime soon? I totally wanna see "Happy Death Day."  It looks pretty creepy. Which of “greasy, salty, bitter, sweet, spicy, bland” do you react most strongly against? Bitter. When you’re completely exhausted, do you prefer to be around people or not?  God, no.  I get irritable. Rank Oceans, Forests, Tundra, Deserts, Mountains, Prairies, Lakes with whatever comparator you like. Mountains, deserts, tundras, forests, lakes, prairies, oceans. Abolish human-caused death, or disease-caused death?  Hmmm.  I think... disease-caused?  You can't change diseases, you can educate people.  Now, that obviously hasn't worked on many people, but I feel it would be more beneficial. Is it better for things in general to err on the side of too simple, or too complex? Too simple. Do you have any phobias?  Pregnancy and childbirth, VOMIT, whale sharks, situationally claustrophobic, mildly afraid of dolls, mannequins, and animatronics.  Probably others I'm forgetting. Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?  Kinda. Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?  Eh, I think so. Do you pop your bones or crack your knuckles? Ugh no, the sound is disgusting. Would you rather have an owl or a snake? God, why not both?  But I think an owl would be more interesting. Are you a mean drunk? I've never been drunk, but any time I've been tipsy, I've just been giddy. Have you had any major tragedies in your life? The biggest was the breakup; that was absolutely a tragedy.  The almost total loss of sanity that followed that was also one. Name the last 10 people in your Facebook inbox. 1.) Don, 2.) Colleen's father-in-law, 3.) Summer, 4.) Colleen, 5.) Sammy, 6.) Miss Tobey, 7.) Everett, 8.) Morgan, 9.) Kieley, 10.) Nicole When was the last time you saw 4?  Last weekend, I think it was. Has 2 ever made you cry?  No. Where did you meet 3?  Pretty sure when Nicole was in kindergarten.  True story, it was them who started out as friends, then me and her shifted into being closer. What’s the age difference between yourself and 6?  At least 30 years.  She's a family friend. How old is 2? I don't know. Have you ever slept in the same bed as 5?  No, we've never even met. Is 4 attractive?  She's beautiful. Does 3 care about you?  Well considering she cried and reminded me how loved I was when she got me to talk about my suicide attempt, I'd think so.  She's a sweetheart. Have you ever kissed 10?  No. How long have you known 6? Since my senior years of high school. Is 9 younger than you? No. What if you had a one night stand with 8? Nope. What’s the first letter of 7’s last name? H Have you ever met 5’s parents?  No. What if 3 told you that he/she liked your ex? She dated Tyler briefly, but she can't stand him anymore.  She agreed he got attached far too easily.  She brought him up at the party. 1 is coming to your house for dinner, what will you cook for him/her? I don't cook. Has 9 ever cried in front of you?  I think she might've teared up while talking to me in Skype once, I'm not sure. Describe your relationship with 2. I don't really have a relationship with him, and I can't pinpoint why, but he actually mildly creeps me out.  I don't have a reason, he just does. When was the last time you saw 10? Earlier. What’s 5’s favorite food? I think pizza? Do you know 3’s middle name?  Rae Does 6 have long or short hair? Long. Have you ever held hands with 1?  Yeah. Does 8 have any piercings or tattoos? I think she has her ears pierced, don't know about tats. If 3 never spoke to you again, how would you feel? That would suck. Have you ever felt jealous of 4?  Envious, yes. Which of these 10 people would you say you’re closest to? Colleen. Do you listen to music simply for the melody or for the lyrics?  Mostly melody.  I can listen to songs with horrible and/or offensive lyrics and still enjoy the song for the melody. What is the most visited website on your Internet window?  YouTube. How many windows are in the room you’re in, if there are any? Two. Do you always voice your opinion to random people? NOPE Would you ever consider yourself over-dramatic?  I can be.  Used to be way worse, though. Do you like to sing? Do you personally think you have a good singing voice?  No and no.  Even most of the closest people in my life haven't heard me sing What is one word you could never properly pronounce?  People will ALWAYS point out how I say "breakfast."  I don't know why, but I always put a "t" sound after the "k."  I literally can't say it right. ;-; Three of your favorite movies in the world: My first two are Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" and "White Chicks," but I don't have a set third one.  Maybe "Troy?"  I need to watch that again, I love it. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking?  Probs Kyle.  We don't really talk anymore after high school, but I still consider him a friend. Which one of your friends is the most brutally honest?  Colleen. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Ozzy Osbourne.  Metallica comes close. What color is your shower curtain? White. Do you like screamo music?  No.  I want to be able to hear words. What song are you listening to, if any?  I am like??  Obsessed with "Cool Patrol" by NSP??  It is so catchy and the music video is like aesthetic as fuck?? Do you like the color purple?  Yes, especially pastel shades. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex?  You would not fucking believe it.  I can barely brush my tongue.  If it gives you an idea, dentists have to use those things that go in your cheek when doing x-rays meant for children versus adults. Have you ever had an online argument?  I have been socially active on the Internet since I was nine.  Take a guess. Are you at risk for any medical issues?  Quite a few.  Cancer might run in our family, diabetes does, and I found out very recently that I have inactive MRSA, which could become active. Would you try to be a hero in a hostage situation? I'd probably be too terrified to. What flavor [in general] is your favorite?  Strawberry Have you ever lied about your sexual past?  No. Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex? I apparently have a thing for dark hair. Have you ever stayed up very late talking to the person you like[d]?  Yeah. Have your parents ever not approved of someone? You mean of someone I dated?  Mom never liked Juan, but we weren't even together for a day, so he doesn't even really count. Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating?  No. What is your best friend’s mom’s name?  Cindy and Donna. Who is you BEST friend ever's name?  I think the person I've ever been closest to was Megan, but considering most of what I knew about her was a lie, y'know.  Maybe Mini, then. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack?  Omg Twnkies.  True story, Mom's nickname for me has been "Twinkie" since childhood (I know, embarrassing, right), so I guess it's fate lol. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other?  My favorite's pumpernickel, but of those, wheat. Do you embarrass easily?  Almost everything embarrasses me, holy shit. Are you afraid of heights? Yes.  Not horribly, but still afraid. What’s the best thing about being your gender?  I dunno. And the worst thing?  Menstruation is some bullshit. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable?  As far as talking about?  I can get uncomfortable with sexual stuff.  Not always, really just depends on who I'm with and the subject. When does your driver’s license expire? I don't have a license, but my permit expires in December. Do you like pulp in your orange juice? NONONONONONONONO I CAN'T DRINK IT NO If you could donate to any charity, which would it be?  There's one that focuses entirely on suicide prevention, can't remember the name, but totally that one. What’s one old school Nickelodeon show you wish was still on? Stealing the last person's answer, "Drake and Josh."  I loved that shit. Does it make you uncomfortable when your parents talk about finding people attractive? If your parents don’t make comments like that, what sort of things can your family members say that do make you feel uncomfortable?  No. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them?  No. Can you write in cursive?  My handwriting is mostly cursive. Where do you like to sit in the movie theater? Pretty near the back and in the middle of the row. Would you rather live in Oz, Neverland, Wonderland, or Middle Earth? Wonderland! Don’t you just love it when guys sing to you? If it's directly at me, I'd feel super awkward.  Like how would I react. Ever taken dance lessons? For a good number of years. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Chocolate chip. Can you play the saxophone?  No, but I actually wish I'd played that instead of flute in high school. What kind of camera do you have?  Nikon D3200 Who is your favorite superhero?  I don't have any strong opinions on superheroes, but I guess Batman. Who is your favorite supervillain?  She's really a sidekick, but whatever.  Harley Quinn's a beb. What is your dream job?  Meerkat biologist.  I don't pursue it mainly because I don't want to move out of the country. What’s your favorite TV show of all time?  "Meerkat Manor." What do you want for Christmas?  This year I'm legitimately only asking for one thing, and that's a tattoo.  I don't know much about pricing tats, but I'm going to guess it'll be around $150.  As I get older, the less things I really want, and there truly isn't many other things I'm like dying to get, and I don't like my parents buying me too much shit anyway.

ALL THE FIC WRITER QUESTIONS BINCH

THANKS BINCH

1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing

Look at her. That lazy hoe. Watching Game Grumps and eating ketchup chips in bed when she knows there’s RPs to reply to. What the fuck.2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

>open docs

>open youtube

>watch youtube for 3 hours3. What is your absolute favorite kind of fic to write?

AUs!! Especially with the found family dynamic, oh dear4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?

oooh, i’m a Bad Fan and usually read fics without looking at the author lmao. That being said, sunsetmog (AO3 and LJ) wrote some of my fave brencers. ruintooeasy/roebling (AO3) who wrote Calling The Moon, also has a special place in my heart. 5. How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for an hour?

like. five. sometimes if i’m really motivated, i write negative five.6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

it was this....really bad fob fic. that was mostly just pete being suicidal. i don’t even know why7. Inspiration, time, or motivation. Choose two.

time and motivation!already answered 8-11 lmao12. A fix you wish you had written better, and why?

No Salt Fries! Bc it’s still unfinished, holy fuck13. Favorite fic from another author?

I can’t pick just one omf Calling The Moon Series (roebling), Parallax!verse (ignipes), Brendon and the Purple Crayon (it’s illustrated!! and cute!!)(sekkritbandomlj)  The Present and the Distance (behindthec), and there’s more I’m sure!14. Your favorite side pairings to put in?

binch... i rarely put in a front pairing how am i supposed to have side pairings15. Your guilty writing pleasure?

doing RPs so I have someone to help me out lmao (is that what this q is about???)16. Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it up as you write?

I usually try to be structured, but it honestly depends on the story and the scope of it17. Would yo describe yourself as a fast writer?

NO OMF18. How old were you when you started writing?

12 maybe?19. Why did you start writing?

because i had OCs i wanted to share with the world (read: deviantart)

20. 4 sentences from your work that you’re proud of

“I am an idiot,” Dallon gritted out. He turned his gaze to the ground, watching drops of blood fall onto the doormat.

“Yes, you are,” Kenny said, gauging his words carefully, “you are an idiot and you’re bleeding. Jesus christ, Dallon.”

was that even 4? anyways i’m love crypto!verse and everyone can fight me