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#i watched in 2013 and never feel out of love with it
effei-s · 2 months
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born to write kuroneon stoker!au, forced to work a job seven days a week.
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solemnly swear, i will write it one day!
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Various images of things
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public#2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores#because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something#4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when#they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always#been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever#I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my#half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since#thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too#uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this#one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue#some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol#~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal#frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol#5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff#but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just#thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol#8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming#I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things#photo diary
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alonetimelover · 9 months
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i was wondering if you could write something about harry and famous!reader where they’ve been dating for a while and reader makes cameos in harry’s music videos (sometimes big parts and sometimes small parts in the background) and it’s just a cute thing that harry and reader love and so do their fans💕
pairing: Harry Styles x famous!reader
a/n: Thank you so much for requesting, I hope you like it!
masterlist taglist
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2017
yourinstagram
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liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 3 492 492 others
yourinstagram don't let the video fool you, he was terrified to fly two metres above the ground
view all 103 392 comments
harrystyles Lies, lies, lies. I am very brave.
⤷ yourinstagram of course you were. of course.
annetwist He was afraid of heights when he was younger!
gemmastyles You should just write that you are better than him.
⤷ yourinstagram I should, shouldn't I?
⤷ gemmastyles That's my sister (from another kister)!
harryupdates ohhh, yn was behind the scenes!!!
hArrysbtch i love how she's been supporting him from the very beginning
⤷ harryoftimes hi, im quite new to fandom. can you tell me how long have they been together?
⤷ hArrysbtch oh, they've been together since like 2013! right after YN got famous for her voice acting in Tangled!
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harrystyles
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liked by yourinstagram, annetwist and 5 302 592 others
harrystyles // KIWI // MUSIC VIDEO // OUT NOW // starring Lily YSN //
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yourinstagram The star is here!!!!
⤷ harrystyles Thank you, love.
⤷ yourinstagram I was talking about Lily, my little star.
annetwist Adorable!
harryupdates yn's sister in the video???
harrysmoustache YSN family is just THAT famoly: talented, beautiful, unproblematic
hArrysbtch i can't believe that he filmed a video with children to the song about faking the big 'o' and all that
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2019
harryupdates
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liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 44 302 others
harryupdates HARRY and YN for LIGHTS UP music video!!!
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hArrysbtch WTFJSIW
hArrysbtch he mistook the 'tube' app. it wasn't meant for YouTube. no way.
harrysmoustache well... I've never thought I would see a video of THE yn and THE harry grinding against each other. especially in a video that was APPROVED by both of them
stylesbabie it's a great day to be bi 🏳️‍🌈
harrysmylife but but but, the scene were suddenly all other people disappear and they are alone just 'brushing'??? CINEMA
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yourinstagram
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liked by harrystyles and 6 308 492 others
yourinstagram there is no land quite like it... written by yours truly, starring my man and my beautiful baby boy
view all 410 201 comments
harrystyles The smile that brightens the world.
⤷ yourinstagram all yours.
⤷ harrystyles Debatable.
annetwist My beautiful grandson is already a star! 🥰
gemmastyles petition to release the 'baby' cut!!!
harryupdates THEY HAVE A SON???
hArrysbtch those bitches grew the whole baby while being gone from the media and all
harrysmoustache it doesn't surprise him that the most cinematic music video was written by yn
stylesbabie i still hope he's releasing the mv for watermelon sugar
⤷ gemmastyles Please, don't.
⤷ harrystyles :))
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2020
hArrysbtch
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liked by harryupdates and 68 301 others
hArrysbtch just my fav stills from watermelon sugar mv...
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harryupdates I still can't believe he did it
harrysmoustache all of the moments of yn are just majestic. it feels wrong to watch it, but I can't take my eyes off the screen!!!
harrysmylife it's even better when you see that all harry's individual shots are right after yn's.
stylesbabie oh he enjoyed that watermelon sugar, oh he did
harrysmylove im just happy for her, she's in good hands. really good hands from what I saw in this video
harrysfan56 no wonder they have a whole child now
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2021
harrystyles
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liked by yourinstagram, annetwist and 6 391 493 others
harrystyles // Happy New Year, from The Styles to You // TPWK music video is out now //
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yourinstagram I'm the Styles.
⤷ harrystyles Yes, you are. ❤️
gemmastyles My girl leading the dance because of his two left feet.
⤷ harrystyles Didn't you see our Dirty Dancing moves?
annetwist The Styles production!
harryupdates they are married. woah.
harryupdates it really should stop making me all surprised that this man is announcing something huge so casually.
hArrysbtch MY FAVOURITE COUPLE IS MARRIED !!!
harrysmoustache that's what I'm talking about
harrysfan84 finally the tpwk video!!!!!
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2022
ynandharryupdates
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liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates and 45 392 others
ynandharryupdates HARRY with his and YN'S second baby in the BTS for As It Was... they have another child...
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yourinstagram she's a mommy's daughter
⤷ harrystyles Nope. Daddy's daughter.
⤷ ynandharryupdates HELLO YOU TWO
harryupdates THEIR LITTLE FAMILY OF FOUR...
hArrysbtch they are not stopping with those babies and good, share those good genes
stylesbabie the way she was so happy in harry's arms and then heard yn's voice nad immediately started looking for her
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yourinstagram
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liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 12 201 402 others
yourinstagram 📣announcment📣 somehow I have fallen pregnant. If you know the possible reason for it, please send it my way, we need to talk.
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harrystyles I may know it, but it's conidential.
⤷ yourinstagram im on the couch in need of answers, pickles and cuddles
⤷ harrystyles Happy to provide.
annetwist You're making me the happiest grandma on earth
gemmastyles I don't want to know. BUT I will spoil this little wonder as much as I can
harryupdates she was like 'fine, have it' and I love her for it
hArrysbtch YN you know how babies are made, don't you? it beginning with s and ends with x...
⤷ yourinstagram SIX??? no way. what's next, NINE?
⤷ stylesbabie NASTY
⤷ hArrysbtch yn you little tease
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harrystyles
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liked by yourinstagram, hArrysbtch and 5 402 492 others
harrystyles LATE NIGHT TALKING. OUT NOW. with YN YSN-STYLES.
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yourinstagram you meanie. i have tickles.
harryupdates she's in his every video, i love it
hArrysbtch if I ever have a partner im gonna show them off just the way harry does with yn
harrysmylife ohhhh
harrysmoustache the video was so sweet and wholesome!
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yourinstagram
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liked by harrystyles and 16 392 392 others
yourinstagram 10 years together. 3 years sharing the last name. I couldn't ask for a better partner to go through life with.
comments to this post have been limited
harrystyles There could be no better person to share children with. You being their mother is the best that could meet them.
⤷ yourinstagram im still emotional. stop.
annetwist There could be no one better for my son.
gemmastyles I'm still mad you aren't with me, but that way I wouldn't be an aunt. So okay, have it, little brother.
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a/n: i enjoyed so much writing for this pair. should i write some more?
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honeybunniesoobin · 2 months
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a/n: getting to my asks very slowly but getting there! it’s my last semester of college and essays are beating me up. just wanted to come write felix catton smut real quick LOL. literally first time writing smut since my 2013 wattpad days
warnings: smut 18+ mdni! fingering, p in v, creampie
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
you and felix never shy away from pda when you’re out.
one of his hands is always on your ass, squeezing it as you walk together. when he kisses you in public, his lips linger on yours. he doesn’t care who watches which means that you don’t either.
the extensive amount of teasing and pda makes things more fun at home.
one day in particular, felix is extra handsy. you two had planned a picnic in the park to get away from saltburn (mainly to not have farleigh, venetia, and oliver all crash your date). after laying in bed long enough to miss breakfast, you both decide that it’ll be time to leave soon.
you get up while felix continues to lay in bed, groaning about wanting to lay with you forever, his voice deep from sleep.
while you’re getting ready, felix watches you from his bed. you glance over at him and smile, slipping on your babydoll dress over your head. you begin applying your makeup, felix’s eyes glued to you.
“see something you like?” you ask him.
“obviously,” he retorts, “maybe i saw more before you put that dress on.”
at this point, he’s gotten out of bed and is towering over you, wearing nothing but his boxers from the previous night. felix rests his hands on your hips, bending you over the counter and pressing his torso against you.
“‘lex quit, we have to go soon,” you scold him even though he can see you blushing in the mirror. again, he groans.
“ugh. why can’t we just stay here?” you turn around to look at him, lipstick in your hand. his arms rest on the counter, trapping you in. “i need you bad, y/n.”
those words are all it took for you to melt like putty for him.
his eyes move down to your lips as he brings his fingers to your chin. you nod, ready for him. he kisses you passionately and suddenly, you’re all his.
felix lifts your body and places you on the bathroom counter. he toys with the bottom of your dress before snaking his fingers up your thigh. his tongue slips into your mouth as he moves your lace panties to the side. “wet already, hm?”
he pulls away long enough to see your doe eyes looking back at him, eager. felix slips two fingers inside of you. he goes slow at first before picking up the speed and adding two more fingers, forcing you to grip onto his arm for support. your soft moans making him go faster, your lips wet from the mixture of your salivas.
you reach the bottom of your dress, slipping it off quickly and allowing it to fall in a pool on the floor, revealing your pink lace set. your hands grab the hem of felix’s boxers, pulling them down to reveal his dick.
felix continues to finger you as you jerk him off, causing him to grunt in pleasure. you can feel yourself close and before you can say anything, you release onto felix’s fingers.
“that’s a good girl,” he says, leading you from the bathroom to his bed. felix lays down on his back, as a signal for you to get on top and you oblige.
you straddle his thighs and like yourself up with him, before sliding on. your wetness makes it easier than normal to take him fully. you bounce on his dick, both of his hands on your hips.
felix loves to watch you take him so well as your tits spill out of your bra. you lay your head on his chest, ass in the air to get him inside you further. he thrusts into you harder, causing your moans to become more high-pitched.
he doesn’t last long after that. he releases his warm cum inside of you. you slide off of him, the cum spilling out of you and onto his thigh. felix grabs the towel on his nightstand, wiping himself off as you lay next to him, knowing you’ll have to wash the sheets later.
“so, picnic?” he asks, huge grin on his face.
“hmmmm, no picnic. i think i’ll stay here.” you smile back at him, exhausted.
he cheers, pulling you in closer to him.
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watchmegetobsessed · 10 months
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LOVE AND TOUR
A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!
WORD COUNT: 5.1k
SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
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2010
The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.
He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.
The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.
Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.
Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.
When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.
“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 
“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.
“I’m sure you will crush it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 
Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.
Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.
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2013
The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 
Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 
He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 
Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 
He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.
Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 
He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.
Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.
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2014
The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 
He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.
Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.
“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”
His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.
He sees Y/N.
Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 
He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 
Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 
He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 
It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 
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2019
Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.
One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.
The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.
But he wants to change that.
“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 
Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 
Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 
One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 
He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 
It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.
He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.
At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.
Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 
His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.
“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 
“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.
“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.
Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 
“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 
She looks gorgeous. 
Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.
“How long are you staying?” he then asks.
“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”
He sighs in relief. 
“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”
“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.
“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.
“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.
“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.
“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 
“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”
Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.
“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”
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2020
“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.
“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.
Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.
ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 
It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.
There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.
“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.
“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.
“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”
“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.
“I know. But I want to see you.”
“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.
“Okay, then let me visit you.”
“You’re way too busy to come here.”
“I’m never too busy for you.”
She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.
They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.
Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.
The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.
“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”
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Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.
“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”
There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.
Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.
HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?
With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.
Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.
HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.
Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 
Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.
She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 
It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.
But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.
He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.
“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.
“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.
However their feelings are nowhere near the same.
He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.
“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”
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2021
He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 
Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 
He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.
“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 
“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.
“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.
“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”
He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.
“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.
It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.
Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.
“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.
Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.
“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.
“You’ll be out there?”
“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”
“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.
“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.
“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.
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2023
The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.
She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.
“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.
“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”
Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.
“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.
“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”
“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”
Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 
Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.
Or fiancé, to be exact. 
When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.
He is not there anymore, because he has her. 
She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.
Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.
“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”
The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 
For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 
When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.
“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.
“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”
Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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avatarkv · 1 year
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IV ! Mom, am I still young? Can I dream for a few months more?
✎ Synopsis ! You've been thrusted to carry the burden of the eldest after his passing. ( First | Second | Third | Fourth | Fifth )
Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. Mentions of death and violence! (wc; 4070)
Song: Class of 2013, Mitski.
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A mother’s love is of all things.  
“You start from here,” Her gentle hands moved across the cloth as she showed you how to make the first stitch, her voice encouraging as she patiently talked you through every step. You listened to her instructions, your tiny fingers following every gesture, but your mind drifted off to somewhere and Neytiri was well aware of that. 
"Mama, how much longer will this take?" You whined, your lips pursed in a pout as you discarded the rag. It was taking far too long for your liking and you were more than ready to be finished, but your mother's stern gaze was enough to stay put.
“Until you finally get it.” She sighed, knowing well that you wanted nothing but to run to your father and Neteyam. Neytiri could see clearly that you wanted nothing more than to train with them, learning all that Jake had to teach, and while she was relieved that you were so eager, she couldn't help but feel a little left behind.
You furrowed your brow as you looked down at the mangled fabric in front of you, feeling frustration coursing through your veins. "I don't like sewing," You sighed quietly to yourself, trying to undo the mess of stitches and start again from scratch.
A mother’s love could be quite petulant. Neytiri could feel the insecurity settling at the pits of her stomach, thinking about how his mate was doing a much better job at parenting. She was never able to keep you in one place, always wriggling uneasily on your chair and asking for the time so you can go, so she was often left with no other choice than to give into your demands and watch as you ran away from her.
It was silly, you were just a child– what child wouldn't want to be outside where the world was theirs to explore?
With another sigh, Neytiri placed a hand to your shoulder in understandment. She gave you a gentle squeeze,  “You know where your father is, go on.” 
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A mother’s love could be fiery– burning brightly like a wildfire in her heart. It was a force that drove her to do anything she could to ensure the wellbeing of her children, even if it meant making difficult decisions that brought pain to herself.
When you once came home, battered and bruised, of course she did not relent. 
“What was the only thing I asked?” She carefully tended to your wounds, despite the frustrated tears streaming down your face. With a sigh of exhaustion, she reminded you in a rough whisper, “To be careful!” 
“I don’t let you run off with your father and Neteyam for you to carelessly train yourself,” She continued to scold you, “Now look at you, do you know how long these bruises will heal?” you hung your head low in shame, not wanting to meet her angry gaze. You felt guilty for making her worry and were immediately overcome with remorse.
“For this, you are not allowed to train for two weeks,” She said sternly, “Not until these heal, you understand?”
“But mama,” You tried to change her mind, but the look she gave was enough to let you know that she wasn’t going to tolerate any argument on the matter. You begrudgingly nodded your head in agreement with a frown. 
“I love you, ma’ite,” When you didn’t reply, her heart sank a little. She knew you would resent her for this while the duration of your punishment stretches on, but she was only looking out for you– besides, there was no way she was going to let you train all sore. You’d understand when you’re older. 
Neytiri would do anything if it means everyone would be safe. 
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A mother’s love is of all things, but above all, the love she had rooted from no other else but her own children. 
When you once came forward with a present, she was curious. It wasn’t like you didn’t lend any gifts at all, if anything, you were the most thoughtful with giving; always coming home with trinkets from your training, colorful beads from a lazy stroll, or even rocks with the weirdest of shapes. But you were most excited with this one, a smile growing every second as you waited for Neytiri to grab the wrapped box. 
“What is this?” She had her eyebrow quirked up high in curiosity, a tiny smile fighting to stay suppressed.
“Open it, come on!” You squealed, trying hard not to open it yourself. 
“You made this?” She said, looking at the well-made shawl– actually, it was messy. The stitches weren’t as straight and there were holes larger than the others, a few smaller, but the ornaments sewn between the threads were no doubt from you. To her, it was the most beautiful thing ever; it was from you. 
“I did!” You beamed, chest puffing out proudly, “Well.. maybe I cheated a little. Grandmother helped me, but all the beads there are from me! See those?” You excitedly gestured to each and every trinket, going with great detail into how and where you got them. She asked questions along the way, marveling at how eager you were to tell her of your adventures. 
While you were keen on your work, her eyes were only on you, listening intently. 
“So.. do you like it?” 
Neytiri burst into a fit of giggles as she embraced you tightly, her head resting against the little space on your neck. “I love it, Ma’ite– I love you.” she whispered softly.
You returned the hug, “Does this mean I’m done with sewing?”
“Don’t push it.” 
It didn’t matter whether you were with Jake most of the time– she wanted to tell him how wrong he was to tell her you were a daddy’s girl. Neytiri received a shawl from you– a shawl. It’s safe to say that maybe you loved her a bit more than Jake. 
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While her love was indescribable, there were no exact words for her anguish too. When Neteyam died, it was nothing but loss. No mother should have to bury their child. It weighed heavily on her– so heavy, a piece of her died along with him. Neytiri felt it in every pore of her being, a dull ache that could never be filled no matter how much time passed. 
Neteyam, her first born and first loss. 
The same anguish was apparent on you too and she wasn’t blind to that fact. 
You were carefully tending to the different herbs on the corner of your pod. You placed them in the mortar, crushing it with a pestle between your fingers and frowning with concentration. You had asked Neytiri if you could stay behind and help with chores and while she did need an extra pair of hands, it was also an excuse to get out from training for the day.
Neytiri knelt beside you, her grip on your hand preventing you from mashing the already mashed ingredients in the bowl. She looked into your eyes with genuine concern, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “What’s troubling you, ma’ite?” She asked softly. You sighed heavily in response while setting the bowl down slowly.
When you didn't answer, she asked again. “Neteyam?” Your breathing hitched and that was all the answer she needed. 
“It’s been over a month already,” You started, unable to look at her, “I don’t wanna mourn anymore. I don’t wanna cry– Tuk, she,” 
“I know. I heard.” You were struck with a wave of embarrassment as you abruptly turn to face her, realizing now that you weren't as silent as you had wished that night. You shook your head, trying to push down the shame. 
“I’m the eldest now and she’s tougher than me, it’s really a slap on the face.” 
Neytiri sits in front of you, taking both your hands in her own. She looks at you steadily with a piercing and gentle gaze, “Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why it isn’t letting you rest is because you haven’t mourned him properly?” Unable to process her words, you look up to her with a confused expression, beckoning her to continue. “All you have ever done is cry– blame yourself for what has happened. That is not mourning, you are simply wallowing in self-pity.” 
“It’s not easy,” You quickly interject, shaking your head with a hint of frustration.  
“And it’s not supposed to, but you’re here trying to stop yourself from feeling.” She soothes the skin of your hands with gentle rubs, trying to calm you down. “Have you ever visited him after what had happened?” 
She was met with only silence and again, it was all the answer she needed. With a heavy sigh, Neytiri gently pulls you closer to her, “Ma’ite, maybe it’s time you talk to him. You aren’t letting his soul rest either,” She whispers, “You’re making him wait.” 
“I’m sorry.” You murmur, burying your head into your mother's arms. Despite feeling a little embarrassed by the sudden display of emotion, you can't deny the comfort it brings. Neytiri holds onto you tightly, as if she too needed this moment just as much as you did. 
After a few more minutes, she nudges you softly, “I’m going to get more herbs,” With another kiss to your temple, she squeezed your shoulders and stood up. 
Neytiri’s words hit you hard– she was right. You have never put an effort to visit your brother, let alone talk to him. The realization was like a punch in the gut; while you were trying so hard to put as much space between you, Neteyam remained waiting. 
You had to talk to him, had to tell him everything before your heart could hold no more. It didn’t matter if he was angry anymore, nor if he would have blamed you for what had happened. You missed your brother– missed him like a little kid.
You stood up, taking your woven satchel– but before you could take another step out the door, Jake enters with a disheveled Lo’ak behind; it was clear that he got into a fight, the bruises on his face and body was enough to tell. “What was the one thing I asked?” Jake asks, scanning the area to check if anyone had followed them, “The one thing!”
“Look, dad. Ao’nung was picking on Kiri,” Lo’ak defends himself, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “They called her a freak.” 
“And you! Where were you? Weren’t you supposed to be training?” His tone is harsh and demanding, cutting off any chance to interject. Jake turns to you, livid,  “I catch you over here slacking off while this knucklehead is giving them a passage to kick us off the island– Jesus Christ, you’re the eldest now!” 
“I’m sorry, sir, this is my fault.” You replied, unable to meet his gaze. “I should’ve been keeping an eye on everyone.”
“Damn right. I catch a break for one second– one second!” He continued to berate and you could only hang your head low. “You’re supposed to be like Neteyam, but ever since we got here, all you’ve done is disappoint me. You disappoint me, __.”
“But I wasn’t just slacking, I was helping with–” 
“I don’t wanna hear it.” He immediately turns back to Lo'ak. He badly wanted to come to your defense, but something about Jake's steely gaze made him think twice. His lips quiver as he struggles against the urge to speak, feeling frustrated. “Go apologize to Ao’nung.”
“It’s not fair, dad! They were–”
He quickly dismisses him like he did with you, “Go make peace. I don’t know how, just go.” 
Lo’ak was the first to move, his footsteps heavy as he walked out. Before you followed, you glanced one last time at Jake, trying to look for any trace of remorse in his eyes. All you found was the same stoic expression. With a sigh, you trudged behind your brother.
Once you both were far enough from your Marui, you quickly grabbed Lo’ak’s wrist, stopping him from walking further. “Stay here,” 
He gave you a perplexed look as you firmly held him, “I’m supposed to be making amends.”
“I’ll do it myself so for once, stay here and  just do nothing.” Your mind was clouded, absolutely heavy from your father’s words. With another frustrated sigh, you let go of him. “What were you thinking?” 
“What do you mean?” His tone was laced with a mixture of guilt and defiance, shoulders tense. 
“You know damn well, Lo’ak.” The laugh that erupted from your mouth is menacing– mean. You grabbed his shoulders and spun him, forcing him to look at you. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He quickly shrugs your grasp away, his gaze downcast. Lo’ak couldn’t bear to even glance at you, not when you’re looking at him like that. It was so unlike you to be angry, usually you were the most patient– understanding. Right now, your eyes held nothing but exhaustion and it was like you were a different person yourself, morphing into someone he terribly misses. 
God, he misses his brother. Now that he’s gone, things are a lot worse– he didn’t even know that it was possible to feel more alone. There was no one who’d put on an effort to cheer him up despite him royally fucking up, no one to mess with his hair, or to stand up for him. With Neteyam, he was sure he understood him so well– with Neteyam, he was still a child. Lo’ak swears he also died that night, heart buried along his back at home. His younger self has not stopped crying ever since, shouting at him, asking, “It’s our fault again, is it?”
“You would have done the same,” He tries to reply with the same fierceness, but his voice is breaking. “Maybe if you were there, you would have even thrown in a punch too–” 
You spun him again irritatedly, “But I’m not like you. It’s different here, you understand?” Your voice was getting louder– growing absolutely desperate with every word. “You aren’t thinking!” That stunned the both of you and you couldn’t help but feel a nauseating deja-vu the moment it left your mouth. It was familiar, oh so familiar it hurt.
“What has gotten into you?” Before he could wait for a reply, you had already stormed off, leaving him right in the open.
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It wasn’t hard to find Ao’nung, being the olo’eyktan’s son made him stand out easily. They were at the shore and unlike Lo’ak, you could see how they’ve gotten the end of the punches more badly. You tried not to visibly wince at the huge deep-purple bruise forming on his face and the others littered all over his body– yikes. 
You knew he deserved this. Ao’nung wasn’t the kindest ever since you had seeked uturu so you couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Despite this, he didn’t relent. 
 “I’ll forgive you once you are able to ride an Ilu,” he said, and his friends snickered from behind, “But you still can’t, right? What would father do if he hears that none of the Sullys’ had gone out to apologize.” 
You clench your fists, digging your nails into your palms as they continue to ridicule you; you wanted to retaliate with the same harshness Lo’ak had, but you knew you had to keep composure. Oh Great Mother, the urge was strong. “All I have to do is ride an Ilu?” 
“Don’t bother,.” He scoffed, harshly jabbing his fingers into your chest, “You’re funny if you think that I’ll ever save you again– it would be one less freak from the clan.” Everyone broke out into a fit of loud laughter, taking turns in mocking you. 
“Consider us forgiven then.” You said firmly, pushing past them and marching towards the sea. 
He called for you to stay back, but you couldn’t just stop now– not when you have already mounted your ilu. The salty ocean air filled your lungs as you surveyed the horizon, the waves crashed on the rocks and it was evident that the water was fiercer. It should’ve been enough sign for you to pocket your pride and relent.
As you made the bond, you embraced the creature, trying to steady your breathing. “Just this once, please? Please, please. Save me from embarrassment.” 
It was a foolish decision to act out of spite, especially after you had been trying for well over a month with no success. You knew there was little chance that this time would be any different, but the impulse drove you forward and you just couldn't let go. As the ilu surged ahead with reckless abandon, you held on more desperately than before.
You were struggling to keep the creature in check. The strong waves made it even more challenging to stay on top of the situation, but you pushed ahead determinedly with an iron grip that was sure to leave your hands sore. Suddenly, your hard work seemed to pay off as the ilu started slowing down under your control, enough that you could relax a little. 
As you emerged from the water, you couldn’t help the shout escaping your throat as the other’s stood ready near their own ilus. Whether the smirk from Ao’nung’s face was of disbelief or if he had been genuinely impressed didn’t matter to you, all you could feel was a surge of pride burning through your skin. You flipped him off, peppering your ilu with much deserved kisses. 
“Come on, let’s go further,” You talked to her, encouraging her to keep moving forward, where she replied with an eager yip. 
You were absolutely thrilled– it had been a grueling month and the anticipation was nearly too much to bear. The thought of finally riding an ilu was almost too exciting for words. Although you preferred the forest, you’d be a big fat liar if you denied the beauty of Awa’atlu. You’ve been dying to explore– you felt like a kid again.
As you continued to ride forward, with not a thought in mind, you would not have expected to be found so easily.
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It was almost night time and everyone was getting ready for dinner inside. Jake waited at the entrance of the Marui, sharpening his dagger as he waited for you.  He glanced around impatiently as he tried to ignore the spiraling  uneasiness in his stomach. 
“It’s getting cold, ma Jake.” Neytiri called for him, rubbing his back soothingly. “Wait for her inside, she’s probably on her way home.” She had noticed how anxious he was growing as the sun started to set and the dark night began to creep closer. It was even more obvious when he hadn't moved from his spot in front for hours already, frown deepening. 
“I failed as a father, Neytiri,” His voice emerged from his throat, strained and raw. He had done all he could, but it seemed that his luck had truly run out.  Now that he faced the truth of his failures, he was filled with bitter regret and a deep sadness for what could have been– of what he had to lose. “I look at them and I feel like I’ve already lost everyone.” 
Neytiri kneeled beside him, curling her arms around him in a comforting embrace. “You only did what you thought was best,” she whispered softly.
“And yet, I managed to make things worse.”  
“Just talk to them, ma Jake,” She gave him a stern look, squeezing his shoulders, “It hasn’t been easy for them either.”
“I know that, but–” The crackling of the line made Jake wince, but he could make out his daughter's voice beneath the static from the other line, and the urgency in your voice made his body jolt– a familiar dread that brought him back to that fateful night when you desperately called out for Neteyam. 
“Can someone hear me?”
The searing heat was unbearable, even when you were surrounded by nothing but water, it scorched your skin the same. The village was rising from the ashes of an unforgiving fire, the island surrounded by familiar ships. Your eyes mirrored the flames that engulfed the area and you were unable to look away— unable to move.
Your fingers frantically felt for the device tucked on your ear, pressing on its button, hoping someone would answer– pride be damned, you even hope that it would be your father. 
He stood up, instinctively grabbing the gun from his side, “__? What’s wrong, baby girl? Talk to me.” 
“Dad, Sir, a village!” Your voice nearly drowned out, inaudible from the deafening sound of waves thrashing towards you and your ilu. You were holding onto her for dear life as the salty water stung at your eyes, blurring your vision, “A village is on fire!”
“What? Where are you?” 
Neytiri stood sharply beside him, her eyes wide with fear as she desperately tried to hear your voice from the intercom. “Jake, what’s happening? Where is she?”
“I don’t know– I don’t know! I rode my Ilu too far. Dad, there are ships! Sky-people ships, plenty!” You spoke rapidly, your words tumbling out of your mouth faster and faster as the panic built up inside of you. You were becoming increasingly anxious, with every passing second more fearful than the last. “They’re here sir, they found us.” 
Jake’s heart plummeted there and then. 
“They’re hurting them– they have them at gunpoint, what do I do?” You continued to hurriedly talk, explaining the severity of the situation. It was nauseatingly terrifying, a sickening sensation that had taken root in his stomach and clouded his mind with nothing but overwhelming fear. “I– I have to do something, anything! Please, tell me what to do.”
“Listen to me, listen to Sempu alright?” His voice is gravelly, like he hasn't been able to catch a breath in what feels like days. Jake was desperate as he wanted to tell you this wasn’t about you proving yourself anymore, acting on behalf of your brother’s loss. This was solely about him wanting his sweet daughter back, safe and sound. “Don’t look at them, for the love of– please, get out of there now.” 
“But dad, I–”
“I need you back here, please baby girl, please.” 
However, you and him did not stand on the same ground, hearts paced on different pages. All you saw were the people; their safety and well-being had to come first and foremost. You had to save them, had to do something to avert the danger. They were innocent and above all, helpless. 
To Jake, all he could think was of you, his sweet daughter, caught in a wildfire. 
“This is an order, __. Turn back now,” It was the only thing he could do, instill authority in hopes it would make you deter. “I’ll alert Tonowari of the situation. It’s not a good idea to barge into face-first and vulnerable, you hear me? What are you gonna do with all their guns and people? Turn back. Now.” 
And it worked. Only now were you able to let out the breath you kept for so long, finally averting your gaze and looking down in shame. “I hear you, sir, I’m,” With one last look, you gulped. “I’m heading back.” 
“Good. Don’t let them see you.” 
As you reconnected with the Ilu, you pleaded it to take the lead and guide them both back home. You could feel her emotions racing through your veins, her fear undeniable as she witnessed others of her kind slaughtered mercilessly by the shoreline. The bond between you was overwhelming and unsteady, so much that it almost took all your energy just to keep yourself from dissociating from her.
Before you could submerge below the safety of the waters again, your ilu begins to bellow loudly in distress. Its body thrashes around, making it hard for you to hold on. “Mawey, mawey!”
More static could be heard from Jake’s intercom, the noise turning more and more deafening. He tried to make out anything from the sound, but all he could hear was white noise. You called out for him one last time, before the pager turned off.
“Jake, please, where’s my daughter?” 
When Neytiri lost her eldest, she didn’t think she’d lose another one so soon.
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☆ mauve here! this was such a pain in the ass to finish, so hopefully i did this chapter justice !!!! i would love to interact w everyone here, so please don't hesitate to drop by my asks! i also accept requests <3 i would very much appreciate it. lots of love!
Tags: @eywas-heir @aonungsmate @cappsikle @dearstell @minkyungseokie @wwwellacom @aleracrovn @fangzyz @bobojojoba69 @alohastitch0626 @gcldtom @dumb-fawkin-bitch @navs-bhat @jo1818 @ladylovegood-69 @kahlowy @neteyamforlife @mochiivqi @heart-an0n @strnqer @abbersreads @historygeekqueen
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© avatarkv, do not repost.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 19 days
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Stray Kids with an S/O who is a huge horror movie fan
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pairing: ot8 x gn!reader
genre: fluff
disclaimer: this is as always just my opinion :)
a/n: as a huge horror movie fan myself, I had to write this! enjoy!🩷
Chan:
As he said before, it's not like he's scared of horror movies, he just doesn't think they're interesting to watch. But, you're interesting to him and he loves you so he will definitely try for you. He also thinks he won't get scared cause 'nothing scares him' but oh boy was he wrong. You have to promise him extra cuddles because he's not gonna be able to fall asleep that night. Will also try to dissect the plot with you after the movie, and try to find meaning in the story just so it's less scary to him.
If he was never really invested into the horror genre, you could show him the classics like The Shining(1980), The Omen(1976), The Amityville Horror (1979), Psycho(1960) and then also some newer iconic movies like Get Out(2017), The Ring(2002), Sinister(2012), Hereditary(2018) and The Conjuring(2013).
Minho:
Loves it. Loves to try and scare you while you're watching a movie together. At first, you're so happy that you can share your love for horror with your significant other. And you know he really doesn't like jumpscares, so you try to find movies that don't have many of those. But if they do and Minho predicts a jumpscare, he'll grab you at the same time it's happening, making you jump out of your skin even though you saw the movie already. You kinda start regretting watching horror movies with him because he annoys you on purpose. He thinks you're so adorable when you're mad at him, but he wont push too far and he'll always make it up with cuddles and kisses later. Overall, 10/10 experience.
I feel like he'd watch almost any horror movie cause he's a curious cat (hehe) and you'd both share your favorites.
I don't know why, but I also feel like Minho would appreciate good old silent horror movies. I just think if he's a horror fan he may enjoy seeing the roots of horror. Like The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari(1920), Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde(1920), The Phantom Carriage(1921), Nosferatu(1922) and Häxan(1922).
Changbin:
I don't think he's too scared of them but I think he doesn't really care for them too much? Though, if you have some interesting thriller or detective movies to recommend he will definitely wanna watch them with you. I think Changbin likes a movie that has an intelligent story with a plot twist. He likes to guess what's gonna happen next and when he's actually right he'll be so happy and proud. He'll keep talking about how he guessed the plot and how smart he is and how you have to give him extra cuddles now. Either way, you're cuddling and snacking the whole time while watching and it's just nice and cozy.
I think he'd enjoy thrillers like The Game(1997), Fracture(2007), The Machinist(2004), The Double(2013), Shutter Island(2010), Zodiac(2007) and 1408(2007).
Hyunjin:
Miss him with that shit cause he ain't watching it unless you manage to coax him into it. It's gonna take a lot of persuading until he finally gives in but you have to be careful in choosing the right movie for Hyunjin. He doesn't like loud noises and he doesn't really like to feel scared. He'd rather watch something for the story, especially if it's an emotional one, and he also likes character driven stories.
I think he could watch artsy or slow creepy movies that are more drama-like but have elements of horror like Pan's Labyrinth(2006), Dark Water(2005), Windchill(2007), It Follows(2014), The Eyes Of My Mother(2016), I'm Thinking Of Ending Things(2020) and Case 39(2009).
Jisung:
Okay, with this one you can go crazy. Any weird horror movie, anything kinda disturbing, deranged or unhinged will be right up his ally. As a horror and anime fan himself, he's seen some pretty weird stuff so experiment, I guess. I also feel like he'd like fun horror movies, idk how to explain but ones that are disturbing but fun at the same time, like you can't look away even though you're looking at a train wreck.
Movies like Funny Games(2007), The Ruins(2008), Suspiria(1977), The Perfection(2018), Perfect Blue(1997), May(2002), Audition(2000), Saw franchise and Terrifier series would be fun for him. Also, since he mentioned Paranormal Activity, found footage horror movies would be fun to watch with Jisung too like Creep(2014), REC(2007), Unfriended(2015) and Cloverfield(2008).
Felix:
This is just not happening unless you can bribe him with cookies, gummies or any other sweets and ofcourse many cuddles and kisses, even more than you share usually. You'll have to practically beg him to watch a horror movie with you or make some kind of compromise that you'll participate in some activity he likes more than you later. He's not gonna sleep all night if you make him watch anything too scary, actually he wouldn't even be watching that. He'd probably be hidden in your neck the whole time and even the creepy sounds coming from the tv will give him nightmares.
The only way to make him watch horror movies is if they're mixed with comedy or they're so bad that they're funny. Like the Scream franchise, The Cabin In The Woods(2011), What We Do In The Shadows(2014), The Happening(2008), Tucker & Dale vs. Evil(2010), Housebound(2014) and ofcourse zombie comedies like One Cut Of The Dead(2017) and Shaun Of The Dead(2004).
Seungmin:
Kind of indifferent towards the scares but I think he gets annoyed with plot holes and characters acting stupid. Rolls his eyes at every over used trope or cliche sentence. You actually end up laughing while watching horror movies with him because he's too cute when he's annoyed.
"How is this killer still alive? He's been run over by a truck ten times, this is stupid!" or "Okay but why is he going towards the sound? Is he that dumb, he's gonna die!"
He does like dry humor though so he'd like some black comedy movies with horror elements like American Psycho(2000), Parasite(2019), The Lobster(2015), The Menu(2022) but also if you want to annoy him on purpose (because he's cute when he gets worked up) show him slashers like the Halloween franchise, Friday the 13th franchise and Black Christmas(2019).
Jeongin:
With Jeongin, I feel like it can go either way and it definitely depends on the theme of the movie. Also, he will probably try to act brave in front of you (until he jumps at a loud sound and then gets embarassed). For some reason I don't have an exact subgenre of horror for him but for some reason I feel like he'd like newer horror movies like Us(2019), Nope(2022), Last Night In Soho(2021), His House(2020), Host(2020), The Invisible Man(2020) and Fear Street film series.
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iwanthermidnightz · 10 months
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“But this mostly perfect life can feel a lot like being a tiger in an wildlife enclosure. It’s pretty in there, but you can’t get out. It’s peculiar to me that after all these years, I still get so anxious when I see a group of people staring, amassed outside my house, pointing, camera phones up... they could never imagine how much that feels like being hunted. And no matter how big my house is, or how many albums I sell, I’m still going to be the rabbit. Because the hunters will always outnumber me. The spectators will stand by, shaking their heads, going “That poor girl.”
But the point is.. they’re still watching. Everyone loves to watch a good hunt.
I worry for my generation and the ones after that because they will never truly experience a moment without attempting to capture it and own it. I am of the generation where you see a beautiful flower growing up through the cracks in the sidewalk, and you pick it. You take it with you to show everyone you know. Whereas I think our ancestors might come upon a beautiful flower and stop and think ‘Wow. That is really beautiful.“
Nevermind that picking a flower kills it, the same way taking a picture of a moment can ruin it altogether. They needed to possess things. They need photographic proof that they were there. They need to then post that photo online so their friends can see it. So that they can spend all day checking the comments underneath. That level of possession worries me.”
—Taylor in her Lover Diary entries written August 14, 2013
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norrisleclercf1 · 5 months
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hi its cait/enchantecafe🫶🏻 i saw u wanted poly mark and seb ideas?? imagine them wanting to date the same girl in their red bull days. they meet her at the same time and both ask her out but she can’t choose who to go out with so she agrees to go on a date with both. at first it’s not poly, she planned on going out with each a few times and then continuing to date the one she liked more. but she can’t choose and after telling them how she feels, they agree that neither of them wants to give her up either, so they come to an agreement. at first they’re kind of just dating her at the same time but because they already spend all their time together as teammates she’s just hanging out in their garages with both of them and somehow they end up going on three way dates and celebrating races together. there’s still a rivalry there that she has to deal with sometimes like. imagine poly mark and seb when multi 21 happens ?? omfg. the mess!!
A/N: kjsdfas.fs;hd.fasm I don't blame reader because I could NEVER pick between them tbh! But, I through this together and took bits and pieces hope you love this! also love your blog and writing
"I'm sorry, what?" Mark blurts as you flinch a little bit, picking at your jeans. Sebastian sat right beside him, legs sprawled out as he keeps his eyes closed, the bright blonde hair making your eyes hurt looking at it.
"Mark, please just understand." You beg him but Mark just scuffs trying to understand this. "Calm down, Markie." Sebastian teases and the older man rolls his eyes and you see the anger slowly leave his body.
"So you want both of us hm? So needy for the both of us?" Sebastian mummers and leans forward, tongue poking out. "Leave her alone, just because she has fallen for you, doesn't mean I won't let you have her." Mark snaps, refusing to let Sebastian tease you like this in front of him. "Boys, stop." You beg, hating it when they fight.
"I'm telling you both this because I love you both and I can't pick. I can't okay." You breath finally feeling at peace for getting those words out. Sebastian stops, eyes narrowing just slightly before going back to normal. "Both of us?" Mark repeats unsure how to take this. "Yes, the both of you." You repeat.
"Okay," Yours and Mark's head whip toward Sebastian who looks so relaxed, like this was a normal conversation about the weather. "Seriously?" Mark sputters shocked by how unbothered Sebastian was with this. Sebastian hated to share, he should know.
"Sharing her, with you? I'm perfectly fine with. Besides I notice the way you stare at me from time to time. Tell me you don't," "Okay," Mark stands fast and laughs, rubbing his forehead. "Fine, fine, we can do this." Mark whispers and leans over kissing your cheek.
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March 24th, 2013
"Please, be careful. Both of you," You smile pulling Sebastian in by his belt. It's been 2 years since that talk with them, and here you are kissing them both before the race starts. "We will be darling," Mark whispers kissing you gently and before placing a quick kiss with Sebastian.
"See you at the finish line," Seb jokes and Mark chuckles giving him another quick kiss. "Be nice!" You yell as they get into their cars and you head into the garage.
-------------------------
"Please, don't do this." You whisper, as you hear the radio to Sebastian. "Seb, Multi 21, follow it." The engineer begs, but Seb doesn't say anything as he overtakes Mark. "God dammit, Seb." You curse and throw off your headphones. "Fucking shit," You knew this wasn't going to go overwell.
You couldn't watch the rest of the race, you couldn't even look at the podium as you went straight to Mark. You could see the defeat, anger, hopelessness and betrayal written all over him. "Mark!" He turns and you can see the tears fill his eyes as you rush to his side.
Those arms bring you comfort as he hides his face into your neck and tears fall down. "Why? Why would he do that? To me?" He cries as you two move to hide away from prying eyes. "Shhh, it'll be okay baby. I've got you." The anger you felt for Mark was raging inside. More so when you hear cheers.
"What? No congratulations?" Sebastian laughs, holding the tropy and you turn eyes furious which has Seb flinching. "No, Seb. No congratulations. I can't believe you! How DARE YOU!" You snap, Mark pulls you back still crying softly. "Leave Sebastian," You snap pulling Mark back into you as you try to comfort him.
"Y/n, Mark, plea-" "LEAVE!" You roar, watching as Sebastian back steps and runs off, leaving you to pick up the pieces.
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bitbugbites-cod · 4 months
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𝙹𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜, 𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 | 𝔤𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔵 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯
Ghost's car sucks -- always breaking down at the worst times. This time, it broke down on Valentine's Day -- right as you were about to leave the house.
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ao3 link
word count: ~1.3k
gender: fem! reader
cw: (light) ANGST, FLUFF // arguing lol
a/n: this was going to be longer and include smut, but I'm tired and going to bed so I might make a part two and post it tmr -- but who knows!
p.s. -- screw valentine's day i HATE being single
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You said nothing. He said nothing. The two of you just sat.
You shifted in your seat, the leathery seat of the car sticking to your wet thigh, begging it to stay where it was placed. You didn’t comply. 
The man next to you in the driver’s seat, Simon, tapped the wheel, his chest puffing up, then down, with a repressed sigh. It annoyed you the way he never had anything to say – and it annoyed you even more the way he looked so fucking good while doing it.
It was a loud sigh, though. You were surprised you were even able to hear it – rain was thundering down, making loud thunks as it collided with the tinted glass that shielded you from the weather outside of Simon’s Jeep. Which, to note, is a busted-up, no-good piece of junk. It was originally a 2013 Wrangler model that he bought used, and no matter how many times it broke down, he always refused to buy a new car. You can’t begin to count how many times you’ve watched him grumble about it making a funny noise or not starting up before rolling up his sleeves and putting himself under the hood. 
He never understood why you hated it so much – and to be honest, you didn’t either. Your closest hypothesis was that you were sick of finding oil stains on all of his clothes – or that you were tired of trying to go on dates, only to find that his car had broken down. Once again.
This was the case for tonight, at least.
Finally, he spoke, his voice sounding a dry kind of deep. It was what attracted you to him in the first place, but right now, you swore it was the most aggravating sound on earth.
“Another night, then, ‘love.”
Your heart dropped in your chest, your eyes hardening as your emotions bubbled. You felt so angry, so sad, you couldn’t speak. You could barely even breathe. 
“Another night?” you repeated, a scoff threatening to escape your throat.
He paused for a moment, before speaking again. “What do you want me to–”
“It’s fucking Valentine’s Day, Simon.” 
He let out a frustrated laugh, his calloused hands slapping against the wheel. “Fuckin’ hell, I know that–”
“Great. You know that. So then you should also know that ‘another night’ is–”
“What do you want me to do? ‘Huh? What should I do, ‘love? get out the car, pick you up ‘an carry you to the bloody place m’self?”
Adrenaline shot through your body, your blood racing through your veins as your eyes began to water. All you wanted was to go out for Valentine’s Day. To feel cared about. To know he loves you.
Grabbing the car door handle, you thrust the door open. The rain got louder, and without skipping a beat, you threw yourself out into the cold, wet atmosphere, slamming the door shut. You heard him yell after you, but you didn’t stop. You pulled your jacket closer to your body, trying not to slip as your heels collided with the slippery concrete. You were going back to the house, inside, where you would foreseeably spend the rest of the night in bed, sobbing, with him on the couch.
You fucking hated this. You hated how disappointing this was. How disappointed you were.
As you reached the front door of your shared home, you held the freezing key in hand, shaking as you attempted to unlock the lock. You regretted dressing up for tonight, wishing you spent your time on anything else instead. Anything.
You heard another Jeep door slam shut, small sloshes of puddles being brutally murdered by aggressive stomps, and you knew Simon and his stupid, heavy-ass boots were making their way toward you. 
God, him and his walk. Even that was driving you up the wall now.
“Y/N.” his voice boomed, fighting the thick, infuriating volume of the rain.
Believing in communication, you ignored him again. 
Nothing good would come from your mouth right now, and god forbid you opened it, he would learn so many new things about himself.
You would save it for later – when you didn’t want to verbally rip him limb by limb.
But then you felt his drenched hand on your shoulder, droplets of water flowing down your jacket sleeve.
“Y/N,” he repeated, and suddenly, something inside you snapped. 
You started to speak, anger coating your words, but you weren’t able to finish. “The ‘fuck do you want, Simo–” 
Within a millisecond, you watched him lean over, scoop you up by the legs, and start carrying you bridal style down the street. 
You paused, saying nothing as he carried you. He said nothing, too. The both of you said nothing together.
It was like something had reset in your brain – you went from being angry, to confused, to shocked. You had no idea what he was doing, no idea what he was thinking. Hell, you had no idea what you were even thinking – you were so taken aback, that you weren’t even sure you had any thoughts left in your head. Which, is a miracle, considering how many new adjectives you came up with about two minutes prior, for this situation alone. 
You felt the rain soak your skin and outfit, some of it landing on Simon first, sliding down his broad, suited shoulders before coating you. His walk was rough and rugged, you bouncing slightly in his arms as he moved the two of you down the sidewalk. Despite how angry you were a couple of minutes ago, you were being calmed by the second just feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the pumping of his heartbeat, the sound of his breathing.
“Simon?” you spoke, sounding cautious.
He said nothing, only looking down, his brown eyes meeting yours as his wet, blonde hair messily stuck to his forehead in small strands. He looked as dead on the inside as usual, but there was something about his stare this time, that let you know he was sorry. It was almost sheepish, in an intimidating way. 
He is a confusing man.
Nonetheless, you went on with what you wanted to ask. “What…are you doing?”
“I’m walkin’ us to the date.” he said in a gruff, matter-of-fact way.
Silence passed between the two of you once more, before you started to crack a small smile, softly laughing at the man’s resolve to solve the problem. 
“I don’t think we’re ‘gonna make it there in time, ‘Monnie.” you said, playing along.
“I said another night, did’n I? We’re gonna get there – ‘just another night.” he quipped. 
You hid your face in your hands, trying to hold back your amusement. It was safe to say that you weren’t angry anymore, at least.
“We’re ‘gonna get hypothermia by then, I think, love?” you replied.
You watched him grin a little, his head moving back up to watch the area in front of him as he walked. “We’ll make a stop at the clinic after, then.”
You laughed, sighed, then laughed again thinking about the stupidity of the situation you were in right now. Simon laughed a little, too.
You started slapping his soaked dress shirt playfully, listening as it made a squelching noise before speaking. “Alright, alright, can we have the date at home instead so that we can skip the whole hospitalization part?”
“I suppose.” Simon replied lightheartedly before slowing to a stop, glancing down at you, changing directions, and walking back towards the direction of the house.
A grin was stuck on your face as the two of you passed by the glowing streetlamps and houses, all while the rain continued to pour down. Suddenly, you weren’t feeling as cold anymore, either – you were glad to be in Simon’s arms.
“You make things really fucking complicated, you know?”
“I know,” he answered.
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Birthday Pie
main masterlist | supernatural masterlist
SPOILERS! set between seasons 7 and 8 of supernatural, there are spoilers for both these seasons
summary: you celebrate his birthday even when he’s gone
pairing: dean winchester x female reader
rating: R for language
word count: 0.9k
warnings: sad, not at all a happy birthday for our beloved lil guy, language
author’s note: i’m sorry, okay? i’ve had this idea in my head for months and decided that today is a good day to release it? anyway, happy 45th birthday dean winchester! love you and very glad you’re alive and well and the series finale never happened! :)
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January 24th, 2013 — Dean’s 34th Birthday.
You were barely able to drag yourself out of bed and into the living room where you were now seated and watching TV. It didn’t matter what was on, you weren’t paying attention anyway. Your mind was completely focused on Dean. Your beloved Dean; who shouldn’t be wherever the fuck he was but instead safe in your arms.
He shouldn’t be spending his birthday terrified, missing you and his brother. He should be spending it with you, Sam, and Cas.
Sure, he wasn’t really the birthday party type of guy but each year since you met him you’d gotten him a pie and put candles in it for him to blow out. It’d started as a half-assed attempt to put a smile on his face when you learned it was his birthday and you couldn’t find a cake at the store.
He’d loved it.
“How’d you know I’d rather have pie?” he had asked, his face lighting up even more when you put two candles—a two and a four—in the center.
“I…had a feeling.” You had shrugged it off as not a big deal but deep down you both knew how much it meant to him.
And each year since then—come rain, shine, monsters, or the apocalypse—you made it your job to get Dean Winchester a pie on his birthday.
A few tears rolled down your cheeks, joining the half-dried ones there already. You hadn’t been sad on Dean’s birthday since his year before hell. But it was different then, you had him next to you and you were savoring every second. You might have been terrified of what would soon happen, but you were still with him.
**
“If you’re not already aware, Dean,” Castiel started, “you turn thirty-four today.”
“What?” Dean asked, confused. “Cas we—”
“Granted time seems to be passing differently here, but on earth it is currently your birthday.”
“Happy birthday, brother,” Benny joked.
“Yeah real fuckin’ happy,” Dean scoffed. “We’re stuck killing our way through this fuckin’ nightmare while the love of my life is spending my birthday alone.”
“I’m sure she’s okay, Dean,” Cas assured him. “She has Sam, he’ll look after her until we get back.”
“No, you don’t get it. Birthdays were…they were our thing, if that makes any goddamn sense.”
**
“Happy birthday, Dean,” you smiled, placing the pie in front of him.
“Twenty-six! God, that sounds old,” Dean laughed a little.
“You’re kidding right?” you asked after singing for him as he blew out the candles.
“What?”
“Twenty six may sound old to you, but trust me you are still fuckin’ adorable.”
“I am, aren’t I?” He grinned.
“You wanna do the honors, cutie?” you asked, handing him the kitchen knife.
“Gladly, sweetheart,” he said, taking it from you. You watched him cut a slice for you then an even bigger slice for himself.
“Dean,” you started as you watched him begin eating the pie. “I love you.”
He stopped eating and looked at you; “What?”
“I know there’s a lot about your life you haven’t told me, you’re lore you could call it, but I need you to know that I really do love you, Dean Winchester.”
“But how? I mean, I’m not exactly an open book and there’s no way…” he trailed off.
“No way, what?”
“There’s no way in hell you’d feel this way if you learned everything about me.”
Your heart broke at his words, and your expression definitely showed it.
“The amount of pure love I have for you is beyond measurable, Dean. And I might be crazy for saying this, and feeling this, but there is truly nothing you could say or do that would make me stop.”
“Really?” he asked quietly, as if he was scared to press his luck.
You nodded with a soft smile; “Really.”
“Well, look I’m not really one for…that…but I do…I do feel that way about you too. I guess what I’m saying is, uh, right back at cha?”
“See to any normal person that would sound like the ramblings of a crazy man,” you said, his smile only growing. “But to me? Absolute poetry.” You leaned over and kissed him. “Happy birthday, Dean.”
He simply kissed you back, smiling against your lips.
**
“Happy birthday, Dean,” you whispered, blowing out the candles on the small pie you’d bought. It was a one-person pie because you knew if you bought a regular one that at least three-quarters would not have been eaten.
You took out the candles and picked up your fork. Staring down at the desert, you let more tears fall.
“It shouldn’t be this hard to eat a fuckin’ pie,” you laughed humorously. Your phone rang next to you and you answered it; “Hey, Sam.”
“Hey,” he sighed. “I just wanted to call and check up on you. It being Dean’s birthday and all, I figured you might…you know…”
“Be huddled up in bed sobbing my eyes out?” you said.
“Yeah…”
“I’m holding it together Sammy, don’t worry about me,” you assured him.
“I always worry about you, you know that.”
There was a short pause in the conversation as you took a deep breath and let a few more tears fall; “I miss him, Sammy,” you admitted. “I just really miss him.”
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solar-wing · 9 months
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⚣ Remember 🥷🏻
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⚣🥷🏻A/N → This was a bit of a challenge for me for some reason. Maybe it's because we still don't know how exactly Jason died or what he was like when he was on the team so I had to go off what we know about Jason already. Plus, the fact that he doesn't have his memories really got my creative juices flowing. I did not proofread thus like the others cause I'm trying to focus on finishing my other fics. Also, here it is again for you @acoustickitten Anyways... WARNINGS: Emotion & Angst, Mentions of Death, NSFW warnings included on Patreon NSFW Version Here👈🏽
⚣🥷🏻Summary → When Jason died, your world fell apart. You and he had a special bond that you didn't share with anyone else on the team. So, when the chance to be reunited with him came as an invitation to Ra's Ah Ghul's island, you quickly took the chance to be with your old teammate, friend, and crush. Only you didn't expect to find him different than you remembered.
⚣🥷🏻Words → 4.2k
REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛
⚣ ENJOY 🥷🏻
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You were so glad you hadn’t given up.
When your previous team appeared on Infinity Island to rescue their friends, the Red Hooded Ninja battled with Nightwing, your old leader and friend. Ra’s ordered you to stay out of sight, as he didn’t want your former teammates to know you were here yet. Your mission was too important for them and yourself. So, you watched from one of the windows as your friends fought with your League allies.
Back in 2013, you had been recruited to the team by the Justice League when they discovered you on the streets of your city fighting crime with your meta-abilities. You could see into and read people’s thoughts, much like Miss Martian. Except your powers seemed to be stronger, seeing that you had the ability to control and enter someone’s mind at will and manipulate their thoughts. Along with flight force-field manipulations, you were quite the adversary. So when Batman, Captain Marvel/Shazam, and Black Canary showed up one day to offer you the chance to use your powers in a team environment, you figured, why not?
You were alone, having lost your family at a young age, and your adoptive family wasn’t much better, seeing you and your abilities as freaky. They just wanted to get whatever money they could off of you. So you accepted their offer and took on the mantle of ‘Psicon.’ Besides, living in the Cave was awesome. The Team was way more welcoming, and you felt like a part of a family for the first time, growing a special relationship with one of the members, Jason Todd, aka Robin.
Both of you and Jason had similar backgrounds and connected from that. The team often joked that the saying was true opposites attracted because you two couldn’t be more different from each other. Strong in your own rights, you were reserved, while he was outgoing. You thought with a slow, calculative mind, and he was impulsive. You were no pushover, but you mostly kept your thoughts to yourself, whereas he was very outspoken.
But, you found joy in your differences with each other. You shared similar interests and grew a strong bond. Over time, your feelings became less platonic and more romantic, which your friends loved to tease you for. Dick, Kid Flash, aka Wally, and Artemis mainly, before the latter two left the team for college. 
You hadn’t known if Jason felt the same towards you, but Dick encouraged you since the two had a special relationship, both being Batman’s sidekicks and sharing the mantle of Robin. Not at the same time, of course. When Dick picked up the mantle of Nightwing, Jason had become the new Robin.
You were planning to confess your feelings to Jason but never got the chance. 
A mission you weren’t on had gone left, and though you never found out what had went wrong, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened when everyone had returned except for Jason. Dick tried to comfort you as he felt your pain, along with Batman, but it did little to help. You were heartbroken. 
Jason was the only one who knew your history, as you hadn’t told anyone else. He knew some of your deepest secrets and insecurities had helped you through dark moments, and now he was gone. And it wasn’t just for you, as your friends and teammates had noticed your impact on him.
Maybe that’s why some had joked about how Jason held a soft spot for you. He was always nice to you, of course. But, he always had a level of sass and bluntness he’d give others but never towards you. Your friends, even Bruce, had mentioned how they saw that you’d tapped into a more gentle side of Jason none of them ever could see or would be allowed to see, at least.
So, no. Dick couldn’t understand where your pain. No one could. 
After that, a distance grew between you and the team since everyone refused to tell you what had happened. Then, in 2015 a little over a year later, Batman recruited a new Robin, Tim Drake, and you had fucking lost it at that point.
Furious at Bruce and Dick for being so willing to replace Jason, you went off on them, feeling they had dishonored him. Your teammates tried to calm you down, but your fury had been on a different level none of them had seen before. Even Conner was unsettled at the rage spilling off you, being considered the literal definition of anger issues himself. It was safe to say you had no relationship with Tim. While you weren’t hostile or bitter towards him, you had no incentive or want to build a friendship.
At some point, you received a mysterious envelope. Where it came from, you didn’t know, but what was inside it had your attention immediately. It was a letter asking for your aid in an important matter. And whoever wrote it apparently had particular need of your ‘talents.’ You were prepared to ignore it until you saw another note inside, only it wasn’t a note at all. It was a picture, a recent one.
Jason.
He was alive. You could tell cause he looked a bit older than the last time you saw him. Though, just by looking at the picture, you could see something was off. That usual egotistic but confident spark you always noticed in his eyes wasn’t there. Both the corners of his mouth were straight instead of one side upturned up a bit, leaving him with his natural smirk. 
In truth, his blank gaze at the camera caused an unsettled chill to go through you. It was as if you were looking at a ghost of Jason instead of an alive one.
But it was him.
He was alive somewhere, and after so long of only feeling hollow and numb where your heart should be, you felt it stirring in your chest again.
You didn’t know if the others knew, and you weren’t planning on telling them. You’d contemplated leaving the team for some time, and Tim’s recent addition only made that decision easier for you. So the next day, when everyone was asleep, you packed your clothes and disappeared that night, not saying goodbye to anyone.
That’s how you ended up with the League of Shadows and the Al-Ghul family on their island. When you saw Jason for the first time, you wanted to run to him, hug him, and sob into his shoulder. Part of you didn’t believe he was alive, needing hard proof of living flesh in front of your eyes. Truly enough, even looking at him, your mind still couldn’t believe he was there. He still had that strange blank look on his face, though. When you first entered the room, he stared at you, which creeped you out even more now that it was in person.
You found out Ra’s and his family were the ones who recovered Jason’s body and had used the infamous Lazarus Pits to revive him, and while the pit’s healing and life-restoring abilities did that, there were consequences. He explained that the Pit tampered with Jason’s mind, sending him into a feral and almost animalistic state, and though they tamed him, his mind was scattered, and memories were gone.
That’s where you came in. Your telepathic abilities had been recognized exceptionally for their strength, surpassing M’Gann’s powers. With your ability to enter and manipulate minds, Ra’s suspected you could restore Jason’s memories, bringing him back to himself.
At first, you were unsure since you didn’t know the consequences that could come if you tampered with his thoughts. When you’d voiced these concerns, Jason had turned his head to you, a curious gaze replacing his blank expression. Ra’s and Talia observed, speechless as he made his way to you, head tilting in confusion as he stared into your eyes. You didn’t move, watching his hand come up to your face and one of his fingers slowly caressing down your cheek.
“Psi…con.”
It was your turn to be speechless. You felt tears come to your eyes and shut them, attempting to hold yourself together. It was too much. Clenching your fists at your side, you choked on a gasp as you forced yourself not to cry. Even Talia felt a bit emotional at the sight of your grief, though she didn’t show it, remaining poised as ever.
“Ah, it would seem your presence has already triggered a spark in his mind. You two must have had a significant connection for him to recall your name.” Ra’s pointed out, eyeing you with an intrigued look.
It didn’t take much convincing after that.
“I’ll do it.” You stated with no hesitation in your voice.
That same smile Ra’s held when you agreed was the same one on his face now in 2019 as you and Talia holding baby Damian had come out just in time to see the Bio-Ship flying off to hear Jason uttering “Gray…son” in a slow, and almost zombie-like speech.
You had begun to lose hope. Jason, now the Sensei’s Red-Hooded Ninja, was trained as a guard and protector. He was no longer of a feral and animalistic sense of mind but more of a living, mindless zombie, understanding and taking directions well. However, the sessions he had with you were not making much progress. 
Every time you’d gotten close to having a breakthrough or found what you thought was a crack in the haze around his mind when working, you got shut out. It was as if something was trying to keep you from getting to Jason’s inner mind and releasing his memories, and you didn’t think there would be much you could do anymore, as nothing seemed to be working.
So, expectedly, you felt your heart pause and your body still when you heard him. Barely feeling like you could move, tears had once again come to your eyes at hearing the first word in the four years you’d worked in healing Jason’s mind.
“Ah, your memory is finally returning. Excellent.” Ra’s said before he turned in your direction, nodding for you to come to his side. “Your work is starting to pay off. I’m aware of your frustrations in this quest, but tonight has proven your efforts are not in vain. I want you to continue your sessions more frequently. This could be the start of him fully regaining his mind.” You nodded your head before turning back to walk inside, Jason trailing behind you from Ra’s order.
He followed you to your room, where you went inside and rummaged through your drawers before finding the desired items. You turned to see him standing in the middle of the room, the red glow from his robotic eye mask bright in the moonlight from your window.
“Please, sit.” You asked.
In your sessions with him, you always spoke with a gentle tone. You didn’t want to command or order him around like the others. You communicated with Jason as you always had before, hoping it’d bring familiarity and comfort. Over time, it seemed to work. Jason notably sought you out whenever something distressed him. For whatever reason unbeknownst to you, this had pleased Ra’s.
Even if you were having little success restoring Jason’s mind, Ra’s had noted that while everyone else had Jason’s obedience, you held something more precious, his loyalty and trust.
Tonight, you hoped you’d found what you needed to achieve that first and ultimate objective. When your old teammates showed up, and you watched Nightwing and Jason battle, it reminded you of the old days before he had died. You three goofing around in the control room during sparring and training.
After hearing him utter Nightwing’s name and thinking back to the first time he uttered your old superhero name, it hit you like a ton of bricks. 
Those moments were all triggers for Jason. Things that evoked emotion and nostalgia from him, like when someone smells a dish their grandparent used to make when they were a kid or hearing a song that reminded them of a special moment. 
It made you remember a comment Jason once made about how when you talked, it calmed him. He said how he found your voice relaxing and that he could just listen to you speak about whatever, and it would bring him peace. Not really knowing what he meant by it, you remembered very well how it made you feel and how it still makes you to this day.
Thinking back to the night you came to the island, you realized Jason hearing your voice had been his first trigger, which helped him remember your retired name. Fighting with Dick brought back the nostalgic feeling of when he used to spar with him in the control room, helping him remember his name.
So, you intended to create more triggers. Whatever prevented you from fully accessing Jason’s mind and releasing his memories was obviously weak to emotional pulls. Those pulls could come from anything that held a feeling of significance or nostalgia in his memories.
Grabbing what you needed, you joined Jason on the ground, crossing your legs before placing everything in front of him. You had a small collection of Jason’s things he’d given you or stuff you had borrowed from him and forgotten to give back. You had some of his favorite books, old batarangs, and even one of his eye masks from his Robin costume.
He looked at everything on the ground, picking some things up and observing them before placing them back down.
You’d tried this tactic before, but with your discovery, you figured maybe there was something you needed to do or say to help spark something. Jason thumbed through some books and messed with the Batarang a little, but you had to be careful since you weren’t sure if it was one of the ones that could explode.
When he picked up the eye mask from the Robin costume, his head tilted while looking at it before turning to you and holding it between his hands, making you grin at his adorable confusion.
“It’s your old mask. It goes over your eyes. Here, I’ll show you.” You explained, holding your hand out, allowing him to place it in your hand.
You brought it up to your face and put it on before showing him, “See? Like the one you have on, it goes over your eyes.” You said.
Jason stared back at you before he looked down and pointed at the space next to you. Realizing what he was asking, you nodded, “Yeah, you can sit next to me.” You expressed, patting the spot next to you
He got up before moving to the spot and placed himself back down before turning to look at having to tilt his head down slightly. He pointed to the mask on your face, silently asking for it. When you took it off and handed it to him, he just looked down at it, turning it to study it from all different directions.
“Do you want me to help you put it on?” You offered.
He turned his head to you, that glowing robotic mask staring at you before you saw him slowly nod. Turning your body to face him a bit more, you reached your hands up slowly, “May I?” You asked, referring to his current eyewear.
He paused for a moment before nodding. Gently placing your hands on the sides of his head, you grabbed the mask and lifted it from his face, able to see his blue-green eyes, taking time to enjoy them since it was rare you ever got to see them. He rarely removed his mask, and only when you were doing intensive work with your telepathic powers on him did he sometimes remove it.
You were caught in his gaze as well as he was with yours. For a moment, it felt like you were back in 2013 before everything had gone wrong, and it was just you and Jason, staying up at night talking about anything and everything that came to your mind. The memories brought some tears to your eyes, and you were shocked to feel a finger come up to one of them. Jason was looking down at you, and though he mostly still held a blank expression, you could see underneath a bit of concern etched into his gaze.
“I’m okay.” You assured, or at least attempted to.
Wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your robes, you gave him a quick smile, which seemed to relax him. You hadn’t even noticed he was tense.
He turned back to look at the mask before slowly placing it on his face. A bit smaller now since he’s grown, it was like you were looking at him as the day you last saw him. You loved how his hair was still slightly curled over his forehead with the mask, not being able to notice it as much when he wore his ninja hood.
You raised your hand slowly to his face, pressing your palm against his ear. Whether or not he snuggled into your hand was totally not important and did not cause swooning in your gut.
Alright, you’re a liar. But you’ve been through a lot these past few years. You’re allowed to have this moment.
“Okay, Jason. We’re going to do what we do in every single session. But, this time. I’m going to project some of my memories into you. Is that okay?” You asked. Consent is key.
He nodded his head after a moment, training his eyes on you as you closed yours. He kept focusing on you while you channeled your memories into your hands to pass on to him. Eventually, he closed his eyes, welcoming your power into his head.
There were flashes of different moments from your past, all relating to you and him. Some were moments of you guys training together in the sparring room with Dick. There were times of you two together on missions, and one particular memory when Jason’s big mouth got you both into a less-than-desirable situation once again. But he managed to get you out of the sticky mess by using said big mouth again. That memory always brought a smile to your face. You remembered being so mad at him and then laughing at it like madmen when you returned to the Cave.
In each of these memories, Jason was wearing the mask. It was a part of his identity. Not just as Robin, Batman’s sidekick, but as Jason Todd. The boy who just wanted someone to care about him.
Suddenly, your head flooded with more memories, some you recognized as not your own. In your physical body, you could feel Jason tensing in front of you, shouting out in pain. It was working!
You managed to unlock part of Jason’s memories. Concentrating, you could see some of these moments from his past. And to your shock, they all seemed to involve—you. You saw the first day you’d met the team and Jason for the first time. You’d thought he was an obnoxious little twat, emphasis on the little since you were taller than him at that point, and you had voiced this thought as well. Over time, he caught up with you. And now, he’s got a few inches over you.
“Did this nobody just call me a little twat?”
That wasn’t your voice, nor was it your words. You did call Jason a twat that day, but you’d never call yourself a nobody.
You caught another memory of when you and he were with the team fighting against Dr. Ivo and Amazo. That fight left many bruises on your body since Ivo had decided to make some upgrades. When Amazo managed to get your powers and use them against you, it’d trapped you in your thoughts, torturing you with some of your worst memories. Jason pulled out of there while the others had managed to distract it long enough and eventually take it down. He’d overheard some of what you were crying out about and decided not to push.
When you had returned to the Cave, Jason followed you outside to get some air and think for a moment. You had warmed up to each other a little, and Jason had started telling you about his background and how he came to be Batman’s sidekick. After some contemplation, you told him about your past and how the Justice League found you. He had made a joke saying all you needed was the staircase and a letter from a white owl, and you could be the next Harry Potter.
You punched him in the arm for that joke,
“Hmm, kid’s not as bad as I thought he was. Packs a punch too.”
It took you a minute to realize, but you eventually got it.
These were Jason’s thoughts from those memories you were witnessing, his own inner dialogue. It was interesting to see some of the moments he found precious, things you had never even thought about before or remembered at the very least. And now, you were hearing it from his point of view. You used to always make a joke with him that you’d pay big money to know what he was thinking about sometimes.
“If he knew what I was thinking, I’m sure he’d either smack me or punch me, maybe both. Wouldn’t do anything except make him hotter.”
Pardon? Can we rewind that last part?
Did Jason call you hot? Like hot, as in attractive hot? Or, hot as in, ‘Ah! This bitch is burning. Get them away from me,’ hot?
Looking at Jason’s other memories with you, you could also feel some of his emotions from those precise moments. You felt annoyance from earlier thoughts, typically around the earlier parts of your relationship. Amusement at times when you and he would get into a silly argument. Or when you went on one of your excited rants about something. The further you got along in his mind, the more you felt his feelings change, becoming more intense. Curiosity turning into fondness. Admiration becomes the urge to protect.
A particular memory had caught your mental attention. One that you recognized was about a week before the mission that would ultimately lead to the end of Jason’s life. Dick and Jason were at their house, Wayne Manor, and they were talking while working in the Batcave.
“So, how’s everything between you and Zatanna?” Jason asked while practicing his kicks and punches on one of the training dummies.
“It’s good. She’s still a little upset over Nabu’s refusal to release her father’s body for no more than an hour, but she makes do with it.” Dick said, turning to face him from whatever he was doing on the Bat-Computer.
Things had gone quiet for a moment, Dick looking a little smug before he spoke up, “So, you and Y/N?” He smirked.
You felt a clench in your chest and didn’t know if that came from Jason or yourself.
“Shut up,” Jason said.
“I’m just saying, you two seemed to have gotten really close over the last few months. You’re actually considerate and somewhat respectful when you’re around him too.” Dick commented.
“Fuck you, and again. Shut up.” Jason responded.
Somehow, you could feel the small smile that formed on his face.
“You want my advice—”
“No.”
“Tell him how you feel and ask him out,” Dick continued, ignoring Jason. “And I’d do it soon. You didn’t hear this from me, but I’ve heard someone else on the team has eyes for Y/N too. So, if I were you, I’d hurry up and take my chances. You never know how long you have until it’s too late.”
An unpleasant toil in your stomach blossomed at that sentence, but you felt curiosity at the same time. You just didn't know if one or both feelings belonged to you or Jason. You did wonder who harbored feelings for you on the team though.
You couldn’t dwell on it any longer though when you were tackled to the ground, forced back to reality. Opening your eyes, you saw Jason on top of you, looking at you with another feral look, only it wasn’t the same as the one he had when you first arrived on the island. This one was wild but in an attractive way. His sea-like colored eyes staring back at you but with a darker look. It had you on edge but also ☀️feeling very hot with how he pinned your arms to the ground.
“I… l-lo– love … y-you.”
Your entire body froze as his head fell against your shoulder. Feeling his chest move against push against your back with his breathing, you could only turn your head slightly to stare at his before he turned to face you. The dark haze in his eyes was now gone, and his blue-green ears were staring back at you with the same adoration you’d always seen before whenever he looked your way.
He remembered you.
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grapejuicestyless · 10 months
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You’re The Winner
Harry Styles x fem!reader
Summery: Harry and you were once inseparable. Both reaching to achieve big dreams. You always dreamed of being a writer and director. You were no where near Harry’s fame, and he knows it. He’s not afraid to let you know it either. Based off the new Conan song, “Winner.”
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I didn’t notice it at first, as it came in waves. Tiny jokes pointed at my deepest hurts. Insults baked in sugary dough to hide the sourness beneath. Small snickers traveling around the rooms we were in. Laughter growing when I turned my back.
Soon, his comments became more aimed. Less broad, more explicit. He was blunt in his insults. Snide remarks turning into insults meant only to tear me down.
It shouldn’t have hurt me this much, all these stupid comments. If it were anyone else, I would’ve brushed them off as pure jealousy. But this wasn’t anyone else. This was Harry. A man who had everything. Money, fame, friends, party invitations piling at his door. But more than that, he was my best friend. My guide through Hollywood. The kindest soul that I had ever crossed paths with one fateful night in late 2013.
Back then he was so shy, despite his huge successes. Despite all the gains he was making, all the achievements, all the accomplishments, he was just as humble and down to earth. Never once caring about anyone’s status. He couldn’t care less what projects I was pursuing. Who I was working with, how much money I was making. When I was with him, I was just me. Not some new rising director, some writer chick that was starting to make headlines. I was simply, me.
I don’t know where that Harry went, but this wasn’t him. I considered the idea that maybe a stunt double had stepped in to take the old Harry’s place. All while the old Harry was away at some lavish beach resort in some expensive town off the coast of Italy I’d never heard of. That would’ve made so much more sense, but impossible. This one had the same green eyes and devilishly charming smile. His hair was just as shiny and curly. Physically, he was the same.
To put a date to it, I could say it started around the middle of 2020. He was by himself now, no longer supported by four other counterparts. Finally the center of attention. He’d done relatively well with the release of his first project, but it was his second album that had launched him into a similar success that he had in the band. Magazines swarming him with covers to be plastered on, late night tv talk show hosts all but begging him to sit down on their overly bouncy couches to talk about his love life and music inspiration.
With this new found admiration from the public, the changes were starting to be made. He no longer reached out first, and when he did, it was forcefully. He always made sure to be the one to never text last. Feeling satisfied in leaving another on read. Old Harry could carry conversations into the next day. Texts flooded with his odd facts and silly jokes. Now it was purely business. Maybe some meet ups from time to time. But usually it was me planning to meet up with him. His simple response was a thumbs up, not really caring if I showed or not.
He grew more and more insufferable the longer his fame lasted. Making friends with the best of the best and not even giving a second look to anyone else. So quick to discard those who were once always there for him. He was superficial. Fake. I knew this, but my heart still beat for the sweet boy I met all those years ago. Cherishing the fact he still considered me his best friend, even after all this time. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I did because even with this new asshole persona, I believed that underneath it, the young boy was still there. He just needed to be revealed somehow.
Now I can see how stupid I was. As I sit here, in the darkness of his living room watching some old movie he claims is, “vintage.” Not enjoying myself as I thought I would, but shrinking into the couch cushions, eyes welling up with each new dig he was making at me and my career. Always so quick to point out the clear gaps in our success. Me, having only a few movies and awards to my name, Harry having a room dedicated solely to them. His wins for only his newest album towering over all the ones I’d won in my whole career. I wished I could’ve tuned him out. Ignored how he belittled me, treated me like gum on his shoe. I wish his words meant nothing but that. Just words. I wished and wished.
“You know, if you made movies like this, you’d probably be so much more successful.” He gently smacked the side of my arm, eyes glued to the screen. Not even looking to see my expression.
Maybe it would’ve felt better if he had. Then I would know he only did it to get a rise out of me. Now I could see he was only doing it because that’s how he was. This is who he’s become. That hit so much deeper. I couldn’t blame it on him trying to tease me, or being playful and it coming off too strong. He was just, something almost unexplainable.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” The words were bitter as they rolled off my tongue. The couch I was once sinking into so feebly losing connection with my skin as I shot up to stand over him.
“What?” He looked confused, eyebrow cocked and a playful smirk on his face. He knew, how could he not. He saw how I cowered away, slinking into another room where the quiet was more evident that the soft chatter and quick glances in my direction. Both of pity and interest.
“Do you feel good about yourself? Bringing me down like that? Honestly, Harry tell me, I’m really interested.” His eyes seemed to dull, the movie no longer of interest to him. He stood to match my stance.
“I was just joking.” His arms raised in a fake defensive stance. Smirk still evident on his face.
“You should be proud of yourself, are you? Take a bow! Are you proud because I’m not. I’m not proud to say that there’s honestly nobody who’s ever done better at making me feel worse. So congratulations, Harry.” I clapped slowly, feeling heat rising to my cheeks, tears brimming my waterline. Harry stood there the entire time, mouth parted open and eyes searching my face desperately.
“I don’t see what I’ve done wrong? I was just giving you some tips.” He could’ve fooled me with that statement. His face contorted into one of pure regret and pain, almost like it hurt to deny what he had been doing. Like he didn’t want to be a jerk anymore. Somehow, it almost made me feel guilty.
“I don’t need your tips Harry! I don’t need anything from you. I am perfectly happy with what I’m doing, I don’t need a boat load of awards to show for that. You said it yourself, right? I’m happy doing what I’m doing, so don’t you dare insinuate that I am not successful. Don’t you dare.” My finger found the center of his chest, pushing back on his muscular frame, eyes blinking rapidly to dissolve any tears collecting, threatening to roll down my cheeks. To embarrass me.
My honesty was met with silence, his mouth closing into a firm line, eyes cold and lifeless looking into mine. He seemed totally calm, the complete opposite of my rapid breathing and heaving chest. It made me angry. How could he stand there, chest to chest with his “best friend” and not care about what he was doing to me?
“Fine, okay. Fine.” I backed away slowly, nodding in his direction. My footsteps picked up, hand searching quickly for my coat that was slung over the arm of his million dollar couch.
I never planned on leaving, but if this was what he wanted, to be a jerk and expect everyone to fall at his feet still, then I would not be part of it anymore. I would not cave to his sick and twisted mind games. I would leave, and maybe, just maybe, if he ever came to his senses. If he could ever see just how awful he was to me and could find it in his now frozen over heart to apologize, I would come back to stand beside him happily. But I would not be the woman who stood behind him, a bystander in the future movie of his life.
Slipping on my shoes and reaching for the door handle I paused. Looking around one last time, taking in Harry, who looked just as defeated as I felt, I saw it. He was crying. He was crying, actually crying. Hand gripped over his chest and clawing at where his heart reside. Body shaking silently. Praying I would come back. I sighed, opening the door.
“Harry.” It was quiet.
“Y/n/n.” It almost sounded like a beg. It felt so good to hear him call me that again, a name I hadn’t heard in years. Not since this personality shift.
“You really are the winner.” I didn’t need to further explain myself, he knew what I meant. There really was nobody else who ever had done better at making me feel worse. Nothing that ever did quite kill me more than what he had done. He really was, the winner.
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essentiallyleaf · 8 months
Text
day 02. pegging. with. chuu.
2013 words.
tags.
kinktober ‘23, futa!idol x male reader, roommates with benefits, sub reader, softie dom chuu, making out, blowjobs (reader receiving and giving), masturbation, mutual masturbation, pegging, pet names, the writing kinda just gets worse as it progresses, it wasn’t supposed to be this long.
notes.
chuu has a dick. if you’re into that, great, if you’re not, i’m sorry, hopefully you’ll like some of the next ones(?). i guess that’s kind of the point of kinktober? anyway, love your parents. intensely, leaf.
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She always had those unexpected reactions, her tone or expression often clashing with her words (you saw her smile the widest at “Fuck that bitch and her fancy new whatever, can I suck you off?”), but when she said you looked tense and she’d help you loosen up, you didn’t expect that.
Jiwoo was just your roommate, not exactly the “just your roommate” that asks to copy your homework and not to make noise after 10, more like the “just your roommate” that you have unprompted makeout sessions with during movie night, or right before going to class, or anytime she felt like it, really. It wasn’t uncommon that while making out she would casually offer you a blowjob, what was uncommon is that you’d decline.
One time you were feeling up her boobs and asked to repay the favor, and she asked you if you were sure, said that she’d understand if you never wanted to kiss her, or even talk to her again, then lowered her pants and underwear and showed you her 6.5-inch monster. You simply pecked her and got on your knees. It was your first time, but you did “great, baby boy”.
Since then the two of you started masturbating in front of each other, Jiwoo even using her black dildo on special occasions (you never knew whether to look at her veiny cock or her pretty puppy face, simultaneously focused and completely lost in pleasure) and jerking each other off slowly while kissing. Some of her cum accidentally hit your closed eyelid once, she said she was so sorry, you just picked it up with your finger and licked it off, satisfied. She smiled and cleaned your dick with her tongue.
One day Jiwoo came home looking distracted. She was worried about her driving test (“I’ll get my license when I need one”; she ended up needing one to get from afternoon classes to evening shifts at the coffee shop she worked at, the subway couldn’t get her there in time) and about finals getting closer, she said; you knew there was something else. You made her hot pot that night, then you watched Ratatouille together. She loves Ratatouille. You asked if she was tired, if there was something else she wanted to do. Twenty minutes later you were laying on the couch on top of her, naked.
“I’m putting it in, okay?”
She came three times that night. Before you both fell asleep while spooning on the couch, nothing but a blanket covering your bodies (it was well into May, so it wasn’t that cold), you whispered in her ear:
“I think you’ll do great on your date”
She turned her head. “H- How did you know?”
“I didn’t”
She opened her mouth like she was trying to say something, then probably realized there was no need to. You hugged her tighter.
The date went pretty well. It was a girl she met at the coffee shop, she was a pre-med student who drank lots of coffee and read a little too much Nietzsche for someone her age. Jiwoo said she was just “interested in the human mind”, which is certainly one way of looking at it. Things ended up not working out, but Jiwoo took it surprisingly well. As for you, you’re all for your roommate making her own choices and more than happy to just support her, but you can’t say you were particularly sad about it.
Maybe it’s for the same reason that tonight, you let her have it. You let her play with you, follow her lead, and then, who knows.
What matters is that right now, Jiwoo just jumps onto the couch and starts simply kissing your neck, ridding you of your shirt to access your collarbones, lightly squeezing your cock through your pants in the meantime. You feel up her boobs through her beige t-shirt before she quickly takes it off with your help along with your jeans and her gray waist-high pants, taking no more than twenty seconds. You’re used to her being a little impatient from time to time. She keeps making out with you as she gropes your butt with both hands, humping you increasingly stronger as both of you become erect.
She only stops to get rid of the remaining underwear on both of your bodies, smiling like she has something in mind.Then she extends her index finger in front of your face.
“Wait one second”
You’re not surprised when she comes back from her room with a bottle of lube in her hand. You are surprised when, in the same tone she reminds you to water the plants, gently, but delivering the feeling that it’s something she cares about, ‘cause “without them, it wouldn’t feel like home!”, she tells you:
“Get on all fours”
“Noona?” She’s two years older than you.
“I know it’s scary, okay? I was scared too, but I promise, I promise it’ll feel good. And if it hurts even a little, we stop immediately, I kiss you boo-boo and we watch The Incredibles while eating ice cream” You love The Incredibles, and you love ice cream, but the thought of Jiwoo’s girth splitting your anus open was still pretty fucking scary.
“How about if we skip the kissy boo-boo part?”
It wasn’t what she said, it was her big sister smile, the smile of someone who cares, the smile of someone who, if need be, would protect you from your greatest stan, turned evil after you rejected him, who now wants to pretend-destroy your city and then pretend-save it to look like a hero, or from, a washed restaurant owner, that wants to kill your rat friend, who indirectly cooks rejuvenating dishes, secretly controlling your movements by pulling your hair, I guess?
Anyway, you get on all fours and she softly pats your butt and lower back before squirting some lube on her hands and spreading it thoroughly on her shaft. Then she puts her index and middle fingers on your asshole and starts gently massaging around it.
“Hey, it might be a little cold, okay?”
It is a little cold. But the first phalanx of the first finger feels unexpectedly okay. She slowly goes in deeper and deeper, observing your facial expressions, because seeing you three quarters from the back is enough for her, and listening for any signs of discomfort. She only hears soft mewls, so she places the second finger on your rim and waits. You gradually get used to the feeling and relax more and more, until Jiwoo can push the second digit in, this time even slower than the first. You struggle a little more with this one.
“Shhh, you’re doing so good for me, baby boy” she whispers while kissing your nape. Her reassuring words help you relax a little more, until she can get most of her slender finger in.
“I’m gonna start moving. You just tell me if it hurts, yeah?” Then she begins rotating her fingers inside you, covering your insides with lube. Now that you’ve adjusted to the temperature, it feels surprisingly quite nice. As soon as she deems you appropriately lubed up, she slowly takes her fingers out as you groan. When she’s done, you feel strangely hollow.
“Good boy, my good boy, you did so well” she showers you with compliments while repeatedly kissing you on the cheek. You half-smile back.
“Wanna stop?” You just shake your head.
She takes position behind you on the couch and aligns her rod with you, placing her tip on your asshole. She starts lightly pushing in as you moan out loud, her girth much wider than her fingers. You look back at her and nod to go in, and so she does. You growl as she gradually makes her way into your hole, one of her hands now on your shoulder, the other on your hip.
As you look over your shoulder, asking yourself when she’s finally going to bottom out, she smiles, almost surprised herself.
“A- I’m in”
You take a couple minutes to get adjusted, two minutes filled with “You did a great job, honey”’s and kisses on your shoulders, neck, and lips.
Then she slowly pulls back out, until only her tip is in you. You feel that strange hollowness again.
“Just go in, what are you waiting for?” You look behind, questioningly. 
“Haha~ I knew you would like this” (Touché.)
You can’t say the same, but when she begins thrusting back and forth at a glacial pace, making sure to hit every corner of your hole, any thought of suppressing your moans and “Yes, noona”’s to try to keep a semblance of pride has gone completely out of the window and you’re now in the palm of Jiwoo’s hand. So as she accelerates her rhythm, she simply goes:
“There, there” and moves her right hand to your still erect cock to jerk you off. The built up stimulation from her fingers, to her dick, to now her hand caressing your length makes you explode after only a couple strokes, and many long stripes of white messily paint the couch. Your orgasm lasts what feels like an eternity and you keep growling out loud for more than a few seconds as Jiwoo wraps her hands around you, trying her best to support your limp body.
“You okay?” You still need to take a few deep breaths before you’re able to answer.
“Fuck, that was intense” you’re talking into a pillow, no strength left to even turn to face her.
“You wanna feel something more intense?”
“What? I just came, I’m spent, I have nothing left in me!”
“I’ll do all the work, I won’t even touch your dick! Plus, I still haven’t cum…” She pouts slightly. Fuck, this girl knows you.
“‘Kay, what do I do?”
“Just lay with your back on the couch and your legs open. Get comfortable, I need you to relax~” she says almost melodically, caressing from the top of your head, to your temples, down to your cheeks.
When she sees your eyes close in relaxation, she aligns herself with your hole for a second time and pushes in, this time much more easily. She bottoms out in just a few seconds and in this position, it feels she’s reaching much deeper into you. She notices when you tightly grip a pillow in each hand and groan below her, still not able to express your pleasure through proper words, so she wrings them out of you.
“You like, huh?”
“Yeah. Yeah, noona. Please keep going”
“At your service, baby boy”
She immediately gets into a faster rhythm this time, knowing she won’t last long either. As she pistons in and out of your hole, you feel your guts being rearranged, spikes of pleasure reinvigorating you with energy. Energy that needs to flow out one way or another, and it does through your hands gripping Jiwoo’s asscheeks, guiding, no, throwing her pelvis into you and back out, and through your abs flexing to help your mouth reach up to the lips of the girl above you.
The two of you are now symmetrically slamming your respective hips into each other’s and moaning in each other’s mouths, only partially silencing the sounds of pure, raw sex leaving your apartment. And symmetrically the two of you reach your peaks.
You start spurting the last few drops of cum you have in your body just as she pulls out and jerks herself onto you, two sources of white nectar coming together on your abs, chest, even chin and neck as you and Jiwoo are still French kissing, and keep doing so for a good minute after coming down from your highs, her body now resting on yours.
You wrap one hand around her back and caress her hair with the other while kissing the side of her head.
“Haha~ I take it you liked it”
“Some parts of my body definitely loosened up”
The joke isn’t funny, but she chuckles anyway.
“Thank you, noona”
-
footnotes.
hope you liked it! i wasn’t super happy about some parts, but that’s okay(?). i’m kinda worried i’ll write the same characters over and over again, just changing the names. hopefully it’s just that two different idols in a row gave me the same vibes. we’ll see. may you have a blessed day, dear reader. mmwah. kindly, leaf.
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Note
Hihii I just wanted to ask how your doing and I wanted to drop a request in here !!
Top! Jeonghan x bttm! Male reader
[ ] I'm down bad for jeonghan it's not even funny anymore.
[ ] Ok so get this the reader and jeonghan are childhood bestfriends and they debut in svt together (already cute ik) so jeonghan is so madly inlove with the reader and spoils him endlessly and the reader can literally do anything and jeonghan would still look at him with the most adoration in his eyes the world has seen . And during Nana tour (you can watch it for free on dramacool) the fans literally see them all cuddly with eachother (they are normally too but it was even more ) and then fans like make cute posts about them and stuff (I forgot to add that they are in a relationship)
𝗁𝗂𝗂𝗂, 𝖨'𝗆 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅! 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗍 𝖨'𝗆 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇, 𝖨 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾!!
𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 ── 𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇
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𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗌. 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗎𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴
○▹ 𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗑 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 (𝖿𝗍. 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇) 𝘄𝗰. 𝟦𝟤𝟪 𝘄. 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗅𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 (𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟪 𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗋), 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇, 𝗀𝖺𝗒
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Even from the beginning, Jeonghan thought that m!reader was beautiful. Although he was three years younger and a male at that, Jeonghan truly believed that he was one of the most captivating people he has ever encountered.
It was 2013 when Jeonghan joined Pledis, only being 17 at the time he had instances of crushes as well as previous relationships, however when m!n joined in early 2014 Jeonghan could understand this wasn’t just a simple crush, he was completely and utterly enamoured by m!n, whether it was his glowing personality or even his abilities as an idol, whatever it was, it caught Jeonghan’ s heart like a net and refused to let go and God he didn't mind at all.
Later into both their careers, Jeonghan finally regained the courage to confess in early 2020 just when covid had hit, and luckily m!n had returned his feelings, their relationship only seemed to blossom to conscious touching to Jeonghan’ s bold displays of affection on and off camera, and although the couple never explicitly told fans their had their inklings especially when October 2023 rolled round along with their ‘NANA Tour’.
With the freedom of being a relationship within a group, Jeonghan didn’t have to worry about the headlines of his ‘out of character’ behaviour: especially with the fact he participated in skin ship with a lot of the younger members, however what did catch both fans and non fans attention was his actions towards the third youngest member. Sticking to him like glue, never letting m!n move to far away from him even if it was a few metres.
Jeonghan was aware that this 'new' him would cause a lot of attention, but at this point he couldn't care. He was finally happy, even if the relationship was secret, he was in love and that's all he could ask for.
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Following the tour, fans were still pondering the topic of ‘Jeonghan & m!n’ compilation videos, along with ‘evidence’ proving their relationship.With clips spanning from that disastrous green room.             
Yet all the fans could agree on one thing, Jeonghan gazed at m!n like he hung the moon and m!n looked at Jeonghan like he was his soulmate: that’s all the fans could ask for, two of the members finding solace in each other even if that means Jeonghan lets the younger of the two get away with anything causing even more fights in GOSE episodes, both the fans and the other members could live with little meaningless disagreements if it meant something much more meaningful would grow and flourish.
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reidfucker · 1 month
Text
mitski songs that make me think of reid + a specific lyric
spencer reid is very mitski. but these were the first to come to mind. i do not take criticism.
- working for the knife
honestly, the entire song reminds me of reid, but this in particular:
I always thought the choice was mine
And I was right, but I just chose wrong
I start the day lying and end with the truth
That I'm dying for the knife
- liquid smooth
I'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too
I'm at my highest peak, I'm ripe
About to fall
How I feel this river rushing through my veins
With nowhere else to go, it circles 'round
- class of 2013
Mom, would you wash my back?
This once, and then we can forget
And I'll leave what I'm chasing
For the other girls to pursue
Mom, am I still young?
Can I dream for a few months more?
- i don't smoke
Just don't leave me alone
Wondering where you are
I am stronger than you give me
Credit for
If your hands need to break
More than trinkets in your room
You can lean on my arm
As you break my heart
- abbey
again, the entire song is very reid, but:
I am something
I have been something
I was born something
What could I be?
There is a light that I can see
But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me
There is a dream that I sometimes see
That only appears in the dark of sleep
- i bet on losing dogs
Will you let me, baby, lose
On losing dogs
I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down
I wanna feel it
I bet on losing dogs
I always want you when I'm finally fine
- the deal
Then of course, nothing replied, nothing speaks to you in the night
And I walked my way home, there was no one in sight
Save a bird perched upon a streetlight, watchin' me
So, I stopped and let it watch 'til I found that it said
"Now I'm taken, the night has me
You won't hear me singin'
You're a cage without me
Your pain is eased, but you'll never be free for
Now I'm taken, the night has me"
- fireworks
this is perhaps one of the reid-est. here's the particular lyric:
One morning this sadness will fossilize
And I will forget how to cry
I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change
Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye
I will go jogging routinely
Calmly and rhythmically run
And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side
I'll pull it out without questioning why
- i don't like my mind
again, the entire song is reid, but this is my pick:
I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room
With all its opinions about the things that I've done
So, yeah, I blast music loud, and I work myself to the bone
And on an inconvenient Christmas, I eat a cake
- first love / late spring
very cliché, but i HAD to include it! here:
And I was so young when I behaved 25
Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child
And I don't wanna go home
Let me walk to the top of the big night sky
- there's nothing left for you
You could touch fire
You could fly
It was your right
It was your life
And then it passed
To someone new
It'll keep passin' on
Long after you
- nobody
And I don't want your pity
I just want somebody near me
Guess I'm a coward
I just want to feel alright
- because dreaming costs money, my dear
I once lived in the sea
Bring me to your ear, you can hear
The tide where I used to be
Though now I'm but a shell
- a pearl
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
- real men
Real men keep cool in the face of a fire
Go down with the ship
And real men don't eat
'Cause they're above that, damn it
Oh, I'm gonna be a real man
- crack baby
It's been a long, hard 20 year summer vacation
Both these 20 years tryna fill the void
Crack baby, you don't know what you want
But you know that you had it once
And you know that you want it back
Crack baby, you don't know what you want
But you know that you're needing it
And you know that you need it bad
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