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russellsppttemplates · 3 months

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That’s bullshit if I’ve heard of any (Lando Norris)

Lando finally had enough of seeing you hurt like that

Note: english is not my first language. I've been writing this one for a little bit and today felt like the day to finish it ✨️ this also felt close to home, but good to write it out, too!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: reader's self-doubt and low self esteem, loneliness, curse words, mentions a bad date with a rude person

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Are you sure you want me to come over?", you asked your best friend over the phone, refusing to accept that he had no better plans for his Friday night now that he was not racing.

"Is this your way of telling me you don't want to come over? Because that's fine, I'll stay in - are you going somewhere though? Like a date?", Lando said over the phoneline.

"Bold of you to assume I would have plans, and with a date nonetheless", you muttered, "all I'm saying is if you have something better to do, you should go do it!", you explained, not wanting to get into the topic too deeply.

"There's nothing better than spending time with my bestfriend! Do you need me to pick you up or do you feel comfortable driving at this time of night?", he wondered, "I'll be there in 10 then", you chatted off, ending the call.

Looking around your room, you found clothes that were both comfortable and presentable in case, with your usual luck, you were pulled over by the police and had to come out of your car.

Lando finally had some time off before the season began and he wanted to spend it with you. While you were usually able to fly out to most of the European races and even travel the long distance to other race tracks, this season you had more responsibilities to juggle between your internship, your studies and your family.

He arranged the pillows on the sofa and brought out your favourite snacks, getting his place ready while occupying the time until you rang his doorbell, walking up to the door so he could let you inside, "hey!", he greeted, excited to finally have you with him after weeks where you both had been busy.

"Hey", you said, nudging his hip slightly with yours as you went to the shoe cabinet, leaving your shoes there and putting on your slippers you kept at his house.

Following him silently to the living room, you watched him sit down as you took in the comfort his place made you feel.

"You're not okay", Lando stated, "I noticed when we were on the phone".

"So this is a pity visit?", you wondered, "That's why you called me over?", you grumbled, feeling the blush erupt on your cheeks along with a little annoyance.

"I never said that! I, I called you and then noticed you weren't okay! Scoot, scoot, I got a tray full of goodies for us to eat", Lando urged, pushing the blanket to the side so you could get in the warm cocoon he created with the soft fabric along with pillows in various shapes and sizes you had insisted he needed to make the place feel more home-y.

"Are you going to talk about what's on your mind or do you want to watch this new show in silence?", he wondered, pointing the remote at the TV.

"I don't want to talk about it, not now anyway", you grumbled, finding your perfect position as you laid against your bestfriend, his arm going around your shoulders as you snuggled your legs under the blanket.

The new show ended up involving a romantic couple which only heightened your feelings. Lately, it was all you could see. Everyone around you seemed to have something romantic going on and they were happy with it. One of your friends was even convinced that she would be proposed to within the next few months, and you were single. Soon enough after you entered these thoughts, they pulled you to questions like why won't people love me? why am I single? what is it that doesn't attract people to me? and the one that you had yet to find a proper answer to, the list becoming too long for your own good am I unlovable?

"Can we watch something else, please?", you asked after debating for a few minutes wether or not you should interrupt, "I'm sorry, but I'm not enjoying it that much", you mumbled.

"That's okay, Y/N, I'll just put on one of our reruns", he smiled, changing the streaming platform and looking for the square on the screen, "if you want to just lay here, that's fine, too", he encouraged.

"At least I'm not alone with my thoughts", you mumbled again, looking at the ceiling as Lando moved his neck to join you, "I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm here for you anyway", he squeezed your hand that found its way to his own.

"It's just, - I've been reflecting? I don't even know if that's the word, but I've been feeling lonely", you blurted, still unsure if you were voicing all of it.

Lando hummed, urging you to continue, "like, I'm craving to have somebody there for me, someone who I know is in my corner, who I feel totally comfortable with. My brother was telling me all about the stuffed bunny his girlfriend asked him to take care off! I want that with someone", you pouted.

Lando tensed, rearranging his position on the sofa to look at you softly as you kept looking at his white ceiling.

"Maybe I should be less opinionated, less vocal about what I think and feel", you mused.

You'd lose your essence, Lando thought as he heard you rant on and on about the traits you wanted to change about yourself.

"Changing something physical is harder, but maybe I can change that, right? Be a bit quieter with what I say, measure my opinions, say yes and agree with things more", you shrugged, shaking the whole thing off of your body, wanting to rid yourself of the thought, "I can't, I won't be able to do that, they'd notice it straight away", you sighed.

As the night went on, Lando quickly changing the subject, you spoke about anything that came to mind until you looked at your watch, "Fuck, it's so late, I have to go", you stood up quickly, bending to pick your slippers up from the floor when he stopped you, "stay in the guest bedroom for tonight. Sleep here", he tried.

"Is it because I said I was lonely? I was just venting it out, you don't need to worry about me being a loner", you tried your best to assure it.

"No, you muppet. I'm doing it because I don't like the idea of you having to drive all the way back at this time of night", he reasoned, getting up himself and walking with you to the guest bedroom.

"Is this still made from the last time I was here?", you wondered, looking at the sheets.

"I made it before you came here! And I've washed the sheets, thank you very much. You have a fresh bed to sleep on", he smiled charmingly.

"Thanks", you smiled back, grabbing the clothes you usually wore to sleep when you stayed over from the drawer, "those have been washed, too", he pointed, "if you need anything, I'm in my usual spot", he winked, "Good night, Y/N, sleep tight!".

"Thanks for this", you gestured, "Good night, Lando", you said before he saluted you playfully, closing the door behind him.

Using the ensuite for your night routine, you changed into the shorts and Lando's t-shirt, noticing that all of the washes had made it smell less of his cologne and more of the scented fabric softener he uses.

The t-shirt fit snug against your hips, embracing your curvy body as you got under the sheets, letting the weight of them lull you to sleep and slow down your thoughts.

Lando was driving to a restaurant he knew well enough. He had had a few dates there before, one team dinner and a few family birthdays too whenever they were in town.

But right now, he was picking you up. From a date that apparently wasn't going well since he got a text from you asking him to pick you up.

"Hey, gorgeous girl", he said once he opened the car window as he parked in front of the restaurant, thankful that it wasn't too busy and no one seemed to notice or care that he was there.

"Thanks for picking me up", you mumbled as you sat down, pulling on your seatbelt and nothing your bestfriend's gaze on you, silently questioning you.

"He was an asshole", you explained, "kept asking me if I was sure of what I was doing, if I knew any Formula One drivers - don't worry, didn't out anything - and then he just kept being rude to me, to the waiter, who was wonderful by the way".

"I didn't mean him. I don't care about him, I care about you", Lando said, driving back to his place, assuming you'd want to have someone close by that wouldn't ask too many questions.

"It was just another one where it didn't go well", you mumbled, letting your head rest on the window and looking out at the lights illuminating the city.

"Do you want to go to my place?", Lando asked, knowing you wouldn't want to be pushed about the subject, "yes, please", you said.

As soon as you got inside his place, you took your shoes off, walking up to the spare bedroom to leave your bag in there, "thank you for picking me up, you're the best, Lando", you smiled as you rested against the door frame.

"No worries, okay? Sleep tight, I have good plans for tomorrow so this will be out of your mind", he smiled a small one.

"Night night, Lando", you said back, closing the door behind you and letting the tears finally fall.

It was horrible. The way he treated other people should have been the first clue and red flag, but somehow it still surprised you how he conducted the whole date. You weren't expecting a prince or a gentleman, but you expected human decency and it turns out you were not afforded that. He kept leaving snarky comments about his exes. He was rude, sexist and definitely not your type, and after splitting the bill, you informed him that someone would come to pick you up.

Could someone be unlovable? Not worthy of love to the point where anyone they attracted to their presence just wasn't a match and they had to be content with the bare minimum?

Splashing some water on your face and wiping it with the towel, you took one good look in the mirror. It looks like it's going to be you for a while, so you might as well get used to it, Y/N.

When morning rolled around, Lando was the first to wake up, getting ready and heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of you. He wanted to make something special, because even though you had your tough shell on yesterday, he knew you were feeling it deeply and painfully.

This quest of yours was doing you more harm than good. And it wasn't helping him either. For a few years, Lando figured, he has loved you. At first, it wasn't a clear sentiment. You were best friends, obviously there was a deeper connection. But then it felt so much all the time, there was never a break for the butterflies on his stomach or for the jealous green eyed monster whenever you so much as mentioned anyone else. He wouldn't dare say it, but he's so glad your date last night sucked.

As he prepared your coffee, your footsteps approached, "Good morning", you croaked out. You looked like you hadn't slept well, which Lando figured was a given considering the heard you move a lot during the night.

"Good morning, I made this for you. The balcony had nice sunlight right now, I figured you'd enjoy breakfast there", he attempted, bringing a small smile to your lips as you thanked him for the mug, "I'll bring the rest shortly", he called.

As you looked out to the always busy streets, you took in their quickness and rush. How it was all fleeting and momentary.

Lando placed the tray on the table, arranging it so you both could reach everything.

"I heard you crying last night", he began, his fist clenched at the memory as he sat down.

"I'm fine", you shrugged.

"I don't think you are, and I don't want you to suffer, Y/N", he insisted, unusually bold considering he knew which territory he was stepping into.

"It's not easy to come to terms with the fact that I'm single and that it might look like that for a bit, and who even knows how long that 'bit' might actually be", you chuckled, looking at him expecting his understanding gaze but being face with furrowed brows instead along with a scoff. "What? It's not like I'm being unreasonable, I'm just stating the facts", you squinted.

"That's not how it works, and you know that Y/N", he sternly spoke, straightening his back and facing you completely.

It was your time to laugh and scoff a little, "unless something changes within me, I'm sure this is how I'll find myself in the foreseeable", you shock your head.

"All of those things you want to change about yourself? Or that you say you should change to make you more likeable and lovable? That's dimming your light and your spark", Lando bit back, having had enough of it, "if someone loved you after all of those changes, they wouldn't love you for who you are, they would love a fabricated version of you. You're not unlovable", he smiled at the irony of it all. How after all these years, he still hadn't plucked up the courage to tell you how he felt about you.

"How can you say that when you have everyone falling at your feet? Women see you and they're ready to have anything you'll give them! You don't have to change who you are because someone made you feel like you couldn't be loved because of who you are and what you do!", you bit back, sensing a tone in him that was unusual and certainly not comfortable.

“I just need to know who the fuck told you you don’t deserve to be loved, because I’m about to beat their asses up", Lando called, elbows supported on the chair's arms as he looked at you.

"No one's ever told me, I'm probably the one saying it to myself, the rest of the people just make me feel like I'm unlovable, so if you want to hit me, I would prefer you didn't, I bruise quite easily", you tried to joke, not wanting to let your mind wander to the parallel utopian reality where your bestfriend feels the same way about you.

"Then it's all the people that made you feel unloved", Lando said, "none of them deserved a second of your attention, but I can give them a second of mine just for that".

“That’s a lot of people you’re gonna have to beat up, then, and I’m not sure if I want to bail you out of jail for that. We can't all have full bank accounts like yours", you joked again, watching him as he kept on with the subject.

"Stop joking about this! I'm being serious with you, Y/N! You deserve all of the love in the world - and even that wouldn't be enough!", he got up.

“Please, I think we have both realised and reached the conclusion that maybe I’m just not meant to be loved", you added.

“That’s bullshit if I’ve heard of any! No one’s not meant to be loved. There’s someone out there for you, and I think I’ve made it clear that, if it’s really not anyone else, then that someone’s me”, he stopped in front of you. There it was. Out in the open for everyone to hear. His balcony was covered and closed, something he was grateful about as he confessed his love for you.

"You can't joke about this", it was your turn to mention it, getting up as he took your hand in his.

"I'm not, Y/N, I'm really not", he whispered, resting his forehead in yours.

"Kiss me", you pleaded. He was quick to comply to your request, hand cupping your cheek as he tasted the bitter coffee from your lips and felt you unravel to him in a way he didn't think was possible anymore.

"I have loved you for so long, Lando", you whispered once you pulled away for air, "and I couldn't imagine a world where anyone would love me back, let alone you", you admitted, looking into his beautiful orbs.

"You don't have to make any effort to imagine it anymore, baby. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. You're so loved and I'll be damned if I don't show you how much everyday of our lives", he smiled, kissing your lips again as your hands travelled to his messy curls.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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avival · 3 months

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PARTNERS

notes: hii☝️ soo… this "HC" is for you to imagine any leon you want! In my head it works better with re6 leon/id leon (my obsession), but you can imagine whatever you want! hope y’all like it. — plss do not interact if you are ageless/underage blog. sorry for mistakes!!

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ૮ ྀི ◞ ◟ ა ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Agent!Leon who is with you on a mission and everything seems fine, except that he's with you.

Agent!Leon, who thinks you are annoying with your cynical and sarcastic personality, answers always on the tip of your tongue, like a perfect brat.

Agent!Leon that even though he thinks you're smug, he likes your rationality, intuition and skills.

Agent!Leon who hides with you somewhere, where you won't be seen. An abandoned brick place.

Agent!Leon who says "I hope we don't call attention" and notices you sighing in the heat, it was very hot, it was summer. Diabolical summer.

Agent!Leon who notices you taking off your harness and equipment. You look at him chuckling and say "Do you like what you see?" Leon looks away, doesn't answer you.

Agent!Leon who honestly thinks you're pretty, but your personality is hateful. Even so, he doesn't take his eyes off your ass and your glossy lips.

Agent!Leon who listens to you being a smart pretty girl, making plans but not caring too much about the whole situation. He disagrees with you on everything and this seems to bother you. Both are about to fight. Your lips are very close to his, you can feel his breath "Aren't you tired of being an irresponsible stupid bitch?" Leon asks and you let out a mischievous smirk, ready to answer him "I love it when you treat me like that. Keep it up, calling me a fuckin' bitch." He loses his posture, angrily.

Agent!Leon who doesn't say anything else. Now it's night, both of you try to contact Hunnigan, but no service. Just you and him, alone.

Agent!Leon who notices infected people in the area, consciously invading the place. He drags out you into a tight corner, takes the pistol and commands you "Stay still".

Agent!Leon who is breathing deeply against your neck and you are grinding against his cock. He whispers against your ear "What the fuck are you fucking doing?"and you chuckled. Leon impatiently covers your mouth with his hand and you moan.

Agent!Leon who is aroused. The infected don't know where both of you are. Leon bites your ear, rubs his dick against your ass and calls you "Hot bitch", you answer "I always knew you wanted to fuck me" and he tells back "Shut up and show me that cunt of yours".

Agent!Leon who quickly undoes his belt and you leave your leggings on your knees. He spanks your ass, rips your panties and you moan. Leon says "You're such a smart ass, you annoy the hell out of me. But your dirty pussy likes my cock, right? Haha— I bet you act like a stubborn slut because you wanted me to fuck you."

Agent!Leon, who bends you over, points the pistol at you and you roll your eyes back. You love to be threatened. You bounce on his dick over and over again, your tank top dripping with sweat while your walls are completely soaked and dripping.

Agent!Leon who makes you suck his fingers and then changes your position. Now you two are facing each other as he fucks your pussy. Leon once again points the pistol in your face, he growls animalistic when he sees you sucking the pistol barrel. He throws the gun, grabs your ass and fucks you harder, says "Fucking whore, that sticky pussy is so tasty." You two don't even notice that the infected are gone. Only wet sounds come out, your moans and his groans.

Agent!Leon who with one of his fingers exposes your nipples, pulls, crushes and sucks your breasts, you don't even know how many orgasms you've had. Your pussy is dripping, you squirt and he keeps fucking you.

Agent!Leon who cums with you two kissing, your teeth crashing and his lips bleeding because of your aggressiveness. Leon sinks his dick, pushing your hips against him, kisses you again, squeezes your waist, licks your lips and pulls your hair. You break up and he whispers "—Hope you to keep being my fucking partner.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy hc #resident evil imagines #resident evil smut

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gojo-mochi · 11 months

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KarateInstructor!Toji x Innocent!Reader

Content Warning: FemVirgin!Reader, Slight DubCon, Size Kink, Age Gap but reader is over 18, Usage of Pet Names and Master, slight bondage, and Toji being Toji

A/N: I know this a OP Blog alright!! I just have major Toji brain rot rn and need to get it out,,, I’m sorry! ໒꒰ྀི ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱ྀི১ Second attempt at smut! Going deeper this time. (Pun-intended) Not Proof-read/Not Beta’d

A/N: Dividers by @benkeibear (Please let me know if you like to be untag at any time!) Thank you so much for letting me use them. Please go check them out if you have the chance! They have amazing fics to read and the cutest dividers! ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who got fired from working with kids due to him making every single one of them cry. The scar and his resting bitch face apparently don't help when he’s trying to calm them down by yelling at them. So, now he only works with young adults and middle-aged people with too much free time on their hands. (Not like he’s one of those middle-aged people, mind you!)

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who almost got fired again for stating that his class “Isn’t for pussies, and he’s teaching you fuckers how to actually fight, and this isn’t some therapy karate or whatever.” He might have threatened the owner of the building so he could stay, but there were no witnesses and no charges brought against him this time. So he was free to teach the class how he liked.

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who snorts quite loudly when you trip over your pants on your first day in the Dojo. He still goes to help you up; he finds the way you stammer out a small “So-Sorry!” and how his hand engulfed your tiny wrist to be rather enticing. You stand up to your full height; which is barely anything standing next to Toji; and with a practiced bow, you exclaim, “My name is Y/N and I’m excited to be working under you, Master Toji!”. Alright, now his pants tighten up a lot more when the word “Master” passes your sweet lips. He barely greets the other students when they come shuffling in and only eyes you when you settle into your spot.

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who thought being called ‘Master’ was stupid at first, but then you kept calling him that every single time you needed help: “Master, am I doing this right?” or “Thank you for the lesson, Master!”. Now he can’t stop thinking about it, how pretty it would sound when you’re under him, begging for him to touch you. He had to bring in spare boxer-briefs to the dojo after you joined his class due to all the times he would leave wet spots on the front of them.

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who bends you over in countless sex positions without you even noticing. You think it’s just some new move he’s teaching you, and you’re grateful for the extra help, as you can be quite clumsy at times. “Yeah, just like that, lift your back up higher though.” He has you on all fours, and with him grabbing your hips behind, he wonders how dumb you must be not to notice what’s going on. He grunts when you push back a bit, trying to lift up your back just like he instructed you to; “Like this, Master?” You peek behind you to see Toji wipe away some sweat. “Mmhm, good job.” When you smile at his praise, he thinks about all the other positions he wants you in.

KarateInstructor!Toji: Who adores the way you whine and pout when you can’t defeat him. You finally thought you got him in a hold, but Toji quickly flips it around, and your back is now against the floor. You let out a huff when Toji chuckled above you. “I swear I had you that time!” you whined some more, “Sure, Doll, you had me that time.” Toji gave you a lopsided grin when you looked away with a blush. He always calls you these nicknames and no one else, but it can’t mean anything, right?

It was another night of one-on-one practice with Master again. He said that you needed ‘Extra training’ and honestly? You were grateful that Master would take time to help you! Even though he liked to tease you when you failed a move against him or call you those nicknames, ‘Sweetheart, Doll, and sometimes even Pet’, it makes your stomach curls in a way you haven’t felt before. You try not to think about it when Master comes back into the room.

“Are you ready, Doll?” There it is again, those nicknames… “Yes Master!” You shrugged it off and tried to focus on the lesson ahead. He strides until he is standing in front of you. You suck in a breath as you gaze up into his emerald eyes. With one hand on his hip and the other pointing at you he taunts you by saying, “Alright then, have another go at me and let’s see if you can last more than five minutes this time.” The way he said it makes the knots in your stomach curl deeper, but you wanted to show him that you had gotten better at this, so you quickly position yourself into a fighting stance and charge at him. He lazily gets into some sort of stance as he defends himself against your kicks.

With a few more kicks and some punches that easily get deflected, you start to feel a bit annoyed at how Master is not taking you seriously. So you went in for the tackle, arms barely wrapping around Master’s waist. You pushed with all your might, and…. Nothing. You feel a rumbling from Master’s chest as he tries not to show that he’s outright laughing at your feeble attempt. You blush deeply, feeling embarrassed, you let go and turn around to exit the dojo. Master stops you though; now with his arms easily trapping you, you let out a small ‘oof’ when your back hits against his chisel chest.

“Now, now… don’t be mad, Doll.” He leans down so his lips graze lightly against the shell of your ear, causing shivers and heat to pool near your core. Before you could muster up a response, he lifted you up, turned you around, and placed you on the ground with him on top, all in one swift motion. All you could do was let out a small squeak, which had Master chuckling again. Elbows by the sides of your head and his thighs in between yours, slowly spreading out your legs. Your heart was racing, “Mas-master wh-?” you whimpered those words out while trying to get freed from this new position.

“Quit ya squirming already.” Master scolded, his voice coming out gruff, and you immediately stopped. “Good girl, now raise your hands above your head for me, alright?” Without even thinking, you do as he asks. “That’s it baby, always so obedient.” Master looks at you so intensely as he reaches down to grab something. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the minute, and the heat is pooling up everywhere now.

You only just see Master grabbing something off his pants, when he brings it up, you can now see that he undid his black belt and was now holding it. With a smirk, he goes to tie your hands together. His hands descend to caress your cheek, and his lips attack the other side. It makes you squirm a lot more than before, with a breathless moan coming out of your lips. “Please! Wa-wait! I-um-I Ah Master! I ca-Mmph!” You get cut off by Master’s tongue invading your mouth, it as big as he is, effortlessly enveloping your whole mouth with just a few licks. He holds your chin in place, his thumb pressing in on the side of your jaw when you try to turn away.

He pulls away only after your lips are thoroughly bruised and wet with salvia. Your thighs are shaking, and your chest heaves up and down heavily. Through half-lidded eyes, you peer up at him. “Toji…” He quirks an eyebrow at this. “Toji? Did I lose the right to be your Master already?” He snorts out, and still he maneuvers his hand under your shirt, grabbing your soft mounds and rolling your nipple between his long fingers. You mewled and thrashed your body around to try to get away, or to get closer? You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. The slick between your legs was starting to drip down your thigh. As he began to mark up your neck, nipping at the soft flesh, making you clench your thighs in protest.

Toji, or is it still Master?, lift up your shirt over your head and fumble around with your bra until it unclasps and your pretty perky nipples are free to feel the cold air and Toji’s hot mouth over it. “Mmp-Ah! To-Ahhh.. Mas-Master, master, mas-master!” It felt so good.. It was a new sensation, Master’s tongue running hot over your nipple while the other is being pinched and rolled around. “Haahh.. Feels good.. so good, Master, Please,” At this point, you weren’t sure if you were begging him to stop or continue. Master bit down on your chest in multiple places, leaving each spot with a visible bruise that will last for a few days. He lifted his head up to view his artwork, “Pretty girl, so pretty, just for me, right?”

You don’t think you have enough brain left to answer, nor do you think Master was waiting for an answer anyway. When he leans down again, this time you tilt your head up to try to meet him halfway. He smirks wildly at this, stopping just before your lips. “What is it, Doll? Hmm? What do you need?” He mocks your expression by pouting out his lips too. He doesn’t leave time for a respond again when his fingers dips into your pants, and straight across your wet folds. “Mmhmm, my girl all wet for me, isn’t she?” His fingers are so long and thick, it breaks your mind a bit. It easily slides up and down your core with one finger inserted inside. “A-Ah!” You bite your cheek, struggling not to let all these new sounds escape your body.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, aren’t cha? Can’t imagine how my cock is gonna stretch you out.” He inserts another finger, stretching out the inner walls. With your hands tied, you could only grip your nails into the palms of your hands for some sort of distraction. When his thumb starts to play with your clit, that’s when your mind completely blanks. The white hot pleasure was so new and so foreign to your body. Master grabs your face and sticks his free thumb inside your mouth, letting it press down on your tongue. “Don’t bite your cheek like that, darling, I want to hear all the cute little noises you make, alright?” You dumbly nod, drool trickling down your chin and onto his hand. He gives you a chaste kiss on the nose in return.

Somehow he managed to get three fingers in you without your noticing in the time that passed. Deeming that you were stretched out enough, though, Master pulled out his fingers and gave them a taste while his other hand ripped off your pants. He takes his sweet time to take off his own pants and boxers, letting his length hang over your pulsing clit. He let the tip get soaked in your juices between your folds first before rubbing the bulbous head across your stomach. “Master.. Please.. just fu-fuck.. I need you..” You were nearly out of breath as you said those words. Master barked out a laugh, “I think that was the first time I heard you curse.” He hums, grabbing his cock and leisurely letting it sink into your gummy walls.

He stops about a quarter in and starts to rub again at your swollen clit, flicking it with his thumb. You whined and mewled so loudly, you were sort of afraid that people outside could hear. “Use your words, Darling; tell Master here what you need.” “I-I need you, please! Ne-need you to fuck me, please please please-!” You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed him, now. Luckily for you, Toji finally decided to stop with the teasing, lifting your legs over his shoulder and bending down to fully pin you down. His cock sinks deeper and deeper into your tight cunt. It burns so much at first but when he starts to move against your walls, his thumb still abusing your clit, you instantly came. “Mm-AHhh… Ngahh.” Toji sucks in a breath as your wall tightens more around him. “Fuckkk…” But he’s not gonna cum this fast; his pride won’t let him, so he powers on slamming his cock in and out with ease now that you’ve gotten more comfortable.

The wet slopping noises echoed so loudly in the empty Dojo room. Sweat dripping down both your faces as Toji rams him cock into you at a fast pace. “My girl so tight, so fucking tight for me, hahhhh fuck, so good doll, so fucking good.” He praises you in between open mouth kisses. You just try to nod along as you feel your pussy start to clench again as another wave of pleasure builds up. You feel that Master was getting closer too, as he picked up his pace, lifting up your hips, angling his cock deeper than before. “Ahhh, Master Toji!” Master climax closely; after you do, you feel his hot seed pour all over your insides. “Fuck hngh…”

He lays his forehead against yours, quietly letting your leg rest on the ground. He looks at you through heavy eyelids and smirks. “That was good practice, but let’s make sure that you fully understood the lesson, yea?”

A/N:switching between toji and master cuz im insane and don’t know what to call him and IM SORRY ABOUT THE ENDING I NEVER WROTE ACTUAL SEX BEFORE SO I JUST BLREH IT ON THE PAGE ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა Also I prob made Toji a lot nicer than usually but that cuz I like nice(ish) toji alright

#₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ softy writes #toji x reader #toji x you #toji smut #toji fic #jjk x y/n #jjk toji #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen toji

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sleepingdeath-light · 7 months

Text

the perfect gentleman ; 18+

requested by ; anonymous (kinktober entry)

word count ; 1544

content ; sexually explicit content, loss of virginity, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, prominent sadism (alastor) and masochism (reader), power imbalance

fandom ; hazbin hotel

pairing ; alastor x cis female reader

read also on ; ao3

note ; potentially shaky characterisation as i had to juggle alastor’s likely sadism with trying to be accommodating for someone’s first time, which was quite the challenge.

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked!!!

Alastor was a great many things to a great many people, but above all else he was a gentleman — and a very traditional one at that. The type who would do the expected chivalrous things like hold open doors for you even when he was just passing by, or lending you his tailcoat if you complained of the cold, but his gentlemanliness also extended to the more intimate side of your relationship (which shouldn’t be as surprising as it was, but seeing as you were both in hell you couldn’t help but be even more appreciative of how he approached things like that).

And even now that you’d finally made yourself open to being sexually intimate he was still treating you with a degree of gentleness that made your undead heart flutter. Though you supposed that was mostly because you’d disclosed your inexperience to him quite early on in your relationship — after all he was a self described sadist so you’d been expecting a bit more roughness once he got you in bed with him.

Not that you minded much, of course…

—————

Despite being in such a vulnerable position you felt completely at ease beneath him, fully giving yourself to him however you could and however he wanted you to: not flinching away when he used the sharpened tips of his black tinged claws to impatiently, yet delicately, tear your undergarments off of your body; letting him reposition your body so that you were sat on his lap with your bare back right against his slender clothed chest without complaint; spreading your legs wider, almost on impulse, when he started to trail those cold hands up your thighs and towards your wet pussy; complying immediately and removing your hands from your mouth when he scolded you for trying to hide yourself from him, letting your arms fall limply to your sides as you started to anxiously pick at the bedsheets on either side of his crossed legs, whole body trembling in anticipation as he inches closer and closer to the apex of your thighs. And despite all of your mental preparation you still couldn’t help but jump when he first made contact with your slit, earning you a crackling radio-host chuckle against your ear as he repeated the same motion again to help you adjust to it; slowly and gently running a single fingertip along your slit from the hood of your clit to your dripping hole and back again.

He asked you if you wanted him to stop, calling you ‘dear’ in that polite drawl of his, but you pushed through your anxiety and confirmed that you were okay. So Alastor pushed forwards by just a bit; letting one of his fingertips dip mere millimetres into your entrance before immediately removing it and continuing to trace the length of your soaked puffy lips, mindful to not cut you with his nails as he went (he had clipped them beforehand but there’s only so much a demon can do to change his form, you know). Then he did it again, going a fraction deeper and staying a second longer, before pulling out again — going further and further with every go around and clearly delighting in your flustered frustration and anxiety as he continued to tease you and help you adjust to what was to come.

But, so very impatient despite your initial anxiety, you only lasted long enough for him to get the second knuckle of his middle finger into your gushing entrance before you tapped out and begged him to stop ‘treating me like I’m made of glass, Al,’ because you’re ‘a demon too, goddamn it’. And Alastor, ever the perfect gentleman, laughed heartily at your outburst before withdrawing his hands from your body and putting his finger in front of your lips and asking you to ‘be a doll’ and clean him up first.

So, tentatively, and with a half-heartedly defiant roll of your eyes, you parted your lips and allowed him to push his slick covered digit into your mouth. Tasting yourself on his skin as you obediently cleaned him, humming almost thoughtfully at the flavour, until he suddenly popped it back out of your mouth and unceremoniously (and quite roughly) flipped you onto your back so that you were laying flat on the bed with him looming over you, body positioned snugly between your legs.

Once again he asked if you wanted him to continue, voice crackling like static and eyes glowing that intrusive streetlight yellow as he stared down at you with his usual sharp grin on his face. And, once again, you glared up at him and huffed and reaffirmed that you knew what you wanted — and that you didn’t want him holding back like he was before.

And it seemed that that was all the encouragement that the radio demon needed to make your first time as memorable as possible.

—————

You felt like his prey, trapped and completely at his mercy, but you couldn't help but love it: those needle-like teeth digging in to the sensitive skin of your throat, piercing just deep enough to draw blood and make you gasp before he withdrew and licked the wound clean, moaning in satisfaction at your flavour; those talon like fingers clawing at your bare waist and hips and thighs, keeping you in place and stopping you from squirming away from him as he fucked into your soaking wet pussy, slick mixing with blood as it pooled beneath you on the bed; that long slender cock slipping effortlessly inside of you, tip brushing dangerously against your g-spot every few thrusts and coaxing more moans and groans and whines from your lips as he went, all of which Alastor clearly revelled in. He was so much stronger than you, so much larger than you, that there was no chance of you escaping — leaving you well and truly at the mercy of your demonic deer-like lover — and the thought only made you wetter.

In fact, everything he did or said to you made you wet, which might have embarrassed you if you weren't already in hell.

Every staticky laugh and chuckle that reverberated against the pulse point of your neck or the swell of your chest. Deep, rough sounds that sent waves of gooseflesh erupting across your body and that were usually followed by another playful bite or nip.

Every time he called you 'my dear' or 'pet' or 'dearest' in that transatlantic accent of his, terms of affection that would usually make you swoon now left to punctuate the little things he did to make you see stars on the ceiling of your crumbling hotel room. His sweet words a stark contrast to the utter sin that he was performing between your thighs.

Every sharp sting of his nails being dug into your hips and dragged down a few tantalising centimetres, leaving deep red trails in your skin in their wake that the small, distant, coherent part of you knew would ache terribly the next day. But now, with his lips on your throat and his cock in your cunt, you couldn't bring yourself to care about the consequences you'd face, you just needed him to do it again... and again... and again. He could leave every inch of you bruised and bleeding and you still wouldn't care so long as he kept making you feel this good — hell, the pain only made the pleasure feel more real, more intense, so you almost hoped that he didn't stop.

Every collision of his hips with yours, angled just right so the tip of his length would hit that delicate spongey-spot within you, that had you throwing your head back and repeating his name like a mantra or prayer (rather ironic given your current place of residence).

All of these new overwhelming sensations pushed you closer and closer to the edge of release until finally something snapped and you were sent spiralling into a climax so intense your vision completely whited out. Every nerve in your body felt like it was on fire and yet you still felt like you were floating, adrift in an ocean of burning hot pleasure that drowned out your thoughts and left you only with the sharp stinging pain of his teeth and nails to anchor you through the storm. Even your own voice sounded distant and incomprehensible to you, like your ears were stuffed with cotton or your head was underwater, leaving only the pounding of your heart audible to you as you were fucked through your climax.

It was intense and felt almost endless, like you were kept in that state of heightened sensation and white hot pleasure for an eternity. Floating in that white, teary void with only your own overwhelming pleasure and distant, dull sparks of pain to keep you company as you rode out the most powerful orgasm of your life. Only able to mindlessly hope that it would be the first of many that you’d have with Alastor, and that some day you’d be able to make him feel just as good as you did now.

Just maybe not today; you were much too worn out for that… but there’s always tomorrow, right?

#sleepingdeath #minors dni #minors fuck off #minors don’t touch #ageless blogs will be blocked #ageless blogs dni #alastor radio demon x reader #alastor radio demon smut #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #female reader #female reader smut #hazbin alastor smut #hazbin alastor x reader

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geopsych · 3 months

Note

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

#ask #ai #tumblr #thank you #sigh #the whole you’ve already been assaulted so you may as well stay and be assaulted more isn’t the great argument you think it is

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 6 months

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How to Leave Comments on Fanfiction

So, I recently made a poll to know if people might find it helpful to have a list of things they could talk about when leaving comments on fanfictions, be it on Ao3 or on here. A majority of people were interested in seeing the post so, well, I'm making it. I started writing and posting stuff online when I was a teenager, on a website where leaving constructive criticism was the norm. It's by far the place where I've gotten the most feedback and it was an incredibly formative experience for me as a young writer — and it taught me how to leave detailed comments.

Writing comments doesn't necessarily come easy. It's something that you may need to learn how to do, but the good news is that you can learn how to do it, so don't worry if you don't know what to say at first. Hopefully this list will give you some pointers on how to do that.

This is more or less the list I go through when I want to leave a detailed comment. Even if I don't have a specific idea at first, I'll go through the steps and I never come out empty-handed.

Comment etiquette:

What became apparent with the poll I made was that a lot of people worry about how they'll be perceived by the writers if they leave a comment. Now, obviously, writers aren't a monolith, but 99% of the time writers will be thrilled that you took the time to leave a comment to let them know what you enjoyed in their fic. I cannot stress this enough. We're not going to judge someone based on a positive comment they leave.

As it stands, on Tumblr and Ao3, it's seen as rude to leave negative feedback, unless the author has explicitly asked for it/agreed to it, so that's what I'll be going over here. Since quite a few writers did say on that post that they would like to get constructive comments as well, stay tuned, I'm trying to get something together to do that for authors. Other than that, you're good to go.

The main ways to let an author know your thoughts on a fic on Tumblr are:

reblogging a fic with your thoughts underneath it

reblogging with your thoughts in the tags, which is often less formal

leaving a comment as a 'reaction'

sending in an ask if they're activated on the blog (which means you can stay anonymous, if anon asks are allowed)

Reblogging means that your followers will see the post as well, and is therefore really appreciated on Tumblr.

As a note, you may find different systems work for different fics! Maybe leaving tag rambles works for you when commenting on drabbles, for example for me it's the system I use to leave comments on smut.

General advice:

Everything I'm saying in here is for people who want to be able to leave longer/more detailed comments and don't always know where to start. If, for whatever reason, you're not comfortable or you don't have time to do it at the moment, a simple "I love the fic, thank you for writing it" always goes a long way for an author.

The key thing to keep in mind if you're trying to find something else to say, I think, is to try making the comment specific to the fic you're leaving it on. It shows the writer what you took away from the fic and the fic's strong points, which is both meaningful and helpful to an author.

Comments don't have to be long to be meaningful. Don't stress about writing a ton; a one-sentence comment highlighting the fic's humor or how emotional it made you can be incredibly impactful.

With this out of the way, I'll go through things you can talk about in a comment, starting with what I think is the easiest and moving on to things that could require more thought. You don't have to do all of that. You may never use some of the things on that list. Leaving comments should not be a source of anxiety. So take what you want from the list, maybe come back to it if you need more inspiration, and don't worry too much about it :)

Favorite line(s) : pull from the fic to let the author know what your favorite line was. If you wish, you can expand on that by saying why it was your favorite: did it make you laugh? Did it make you feel something specific? Did the author nail the characterization with it? Was there some incredible metaphor? Did you find it beautiful or poetic even if you can't go into detail? Is there one line in particular at the beginning of the fic that hooked you in and made you want to keep reading?

All of that is very valuable for a writer to know. Some of my favorite comments I've gotten were a list of a reader's favorite lines from a fic with one or two sentences to explain why they liked them, so don't hesitate to do that more than once if you can!

Emotions: if there’s one thing I know about writers, it’s that we’re thrilled when we’ve made you cry. So tell us: how did the writing make you feel? Did you laugh out loud? If you did, was it the dialogue, or the narrator? Did it make you cry? Which part? Could you relate to one of the characters? Did it make you feel seen? Did the fluff make you feel all fuzzy inside or did the angst twist knots in your stomach? This isn't an exhaustive list, and emotions are great to draw from when you're leaving a comment!

Favorite element of the writing: Is there one thing in the writing that struck you as being particularly good, or what was your favorite thing to read? Is the author a master at writing dialogue? Are their descriptions so good you could see the whole scene? Are they really good at getting in a character's head and describing their emotions? Were you hooked from the start and couldn't stop until you reached the end?

Characterization: Now, this might be less instinctive, but if you've been in a fandom for a while, you'll probably be able to identify these things fairly easily. You can tell the author if you think they've nailed one aspect of a character. Did you have a favorite character in the fic? What did you think of them? Did the author manage to capture their voice? Was the attitude spot-on? Which parts of the character, if you can name them? Were there aspects of the character you particularly enjoyed? Did the author shine a light on something you hadn't considered or on something you don't think is highlighted often enough? Is there one thing from the fic you can actually picture/hear a character doing/saying in your head?

Style: I'd argue this is the hardest part, and you shouldn't feel bad if it's not something you can really comment on. As someone whose first language isn't English, I know I struggle with it. Style can be perceived as the way the author's voice comes through in the text. It can come through in punctuation, in the way sentences are formed, in the choice of the words themselves. If, when you read, you feel something intangible that doesn't fit well in the other categories, it just might be the author's style.

Here are some things (non-exhaustive list, of course) you could say about an author's style: it can be direct, straight to the point. The author doesn't bother with ornaments. Every sentence feels impactful. Maybe the writing feels intense. You're overwhelmed by the characters and their feelings and you feel truly engulfed in the story. Maybe the style is light and airy. It's so easy to read you don't even notice you are reading. Maybe the writing is intricate. Going through it is like piecing a puzzle together, sentences are foreshadowing and metaphors reveal deep truths about the characters. Maybe the style is rich. While not always the easiest, it's a pleasure to read through it, the author has a wide vocabulary, and you might want to compare it to a well-written novel.

If you identify specific elements of that style (metaphors, interesting use of punctuation, etc.), don't hesitate to point them out and let the author know you enjoy them!

That is it for this post, hopefully it doesn't look too daunting — again, you absolutely do not need to do all that in any comment, but maybe going through this list can help you leave comments for authors you enjoy.

I like to end my comments with 'Thank you for writing and sharing this with us', so I'll tell you thank you for reading, I hope this was helpful, and please consider reblogging if you'd like to save this or if you think it could help someone else!

As a bonus, my friend @elidebrey and I (but mostly her) made a 'checklist' for commenting, to help remember all this if that's something you'd like, so use at will!

A big thank you to @elidebrey, @yoongihan and @antoniorhinothethird for their precious opinions on this ♥

#fanfiction #ao3 #fic #fic things #fanfic #archive of our own #author things #fanfic comments #ao3 comments #writing #long post #very long post #fandom

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roseykat · 3 months

Text

TITLE: Venom Eater

SUMMARY: Moving on proves its challenges. Not everyone has the ability to accept that what happened, happened - and what was, was. So as you try to lead a new life, single and trying to heal, the journey proves to be far from easy. It’s worse than difficult and more painful than what you could’ve imagined. The only comforting source is that what will be, will be. And there’s no changing that.

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with me, my work, or page whatsoever.

TAGS: mentions of breakups, exes, angst, arguments, swearing, smut, slices of life here and there, alcohol (Jisung is drunk but there isn’t much detail on it), confrontation.

WC: 6K+

TAGLIST: @emikisses @linos-kitten @chansbabygirlsstuff @lixiespick @frogieeheart @/fuckthinking @nimx9 @/shishou1687 @inniescandy-01 @konstanceee @/rose13255 @queenmea604

Venom Biter (Part 1) | MASTERLIST

A/N: the long-awaited part 2 to Venom Biter! This was originally meant to be longer but I decided that I wanted to flesh out the plot a little bit more so things will get worse and or better who knows…

There’s never a grey area about what people do after a terrible breakup. It’s always black and white. Whether someone cuts their hair, dyes it, alters their aesthetic, or goes on holiday to escape the reality.

The gym can make for the perfect best friend to subtly take revenge on someone a person once had.

But your new best friend was Tinder. A platform of opportunities to explore and select at your perusal. Providing you with gorgeous men who were looking to fuck and nothing more than that. If Tinder wasn’t the buzz for you that night, it would be going out with friends - friends that didn’t include ones that you made through Minho.

These ones’ you would only see about once every three months then band together again as if nothing has changed in the space between. It’s not awkward when you’re around them and so far, it has taken your mind off the past two months. Since then, your connection with Minho has been one of which where-

“God fuck I’m cumming!”

Minho knows he is too when his eyes screwed shut, laying back as he lets you use his cock, “shit, so am I,” he breathes out, watching you roll your hips in a frantic craze to get yourself over the edge. You miss this.

The way that you squeeze around him is the final straw that breaks the camel's back. Minho swears towards the ceiling, back arching as his dick glides in deeper. Within a couple of seconds, his vision flashes just as white as your insides that he fills.

The top half of your body flops forward onto his chest, spent from the past fifteen minutes that you’ve been riding him non-stop. Now it’s almost possible to hear the rapid thumping of his heartbeat that violently bashes from within. Not wanting to stay in that position for any longer, you peel yourself back, hopping off his body.

“I need you out by seven,” you declare, picking up his sweatpants and t-shirt from the floor and then throwing them right at him.

Minho grumbles but doesn’t flinch, “seven? Fucking hell.”

“Well, I have to go to work so you’re not staying.”

“I figured that,” he fusses before sitting up. “At least let me use your gym here.”

You pause for a second to look at him, wondering where he gets his audacity from sometimes, “fine.”

“Thank you,” he replies then starts donning his clothes as you make your way to the bathroom for a hot shower.

This is what it’s been like for a while now - a pernicious seesaw effect of meeting up with Minho, sleeping with him (usually in the mornings), and going about your day as if he wasn’t in your guts twenty minutes ago.

It’s always a good feeling in the moment but after, there’s a lingering icky weight that you’re tirelessly towing along with you wherever you go. You’re not sure if Minho feels the same because even though you’ve talked to him a few times, there’s no talk of each other's feelings anymore. It’s not that neither of you are ready for that looming and tender conversation. It’s just as if there’s no point.

By the time you were out of the shower, Minho was still on the edge of your bed, fully clothed and ready to leave.

“I’m not making you breakfast,” you say to him, wrapping the towel around your body a little tighter.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting you to,” he responds. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Can it wait until the end of the day, because I need to get ready for work.”

He groans, getting fed up, “surely you can get ready and listen at the same time.”

You rustle through your drawers for a pair of underwear and bra, “to other people maybe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you want to use the gym, go now,” you instruct sternly, hoping that he’ll just disappear.

When he detects that he can’t get through to you right now, he gives up. It’s too early to argue, so places his hand on the door handle, opening it for himself to leave and head down to the first floor, leaving you to prepare for another day’s work in peace.

After a quick breakfast, getting dressed and decent, you grab your bags and depart. On your way out, you spot Minho using the weights while you dart past the foyer, briefly thinking about how the time to cut him off is fast approaching.

You can’t keep doing this. There’s no way to move on if you’re both still latched onto each other's ankles like how kids are with their parents. That need for one another is still present.

“Who even am I when I’m not with you?” Minho asked you two weeks into sleeping with him again after breaking up. His comment sums up the reason of ‘why you decide to keep running back to each other’.

It’s not a hard statement to understand. You’ve been with Minho for a long time, you’re both still young and haven’t dated anyone else except between yourselves. It’s like being a dog that was never socialised as a puppy, unable to interact with others because it’s not sure how.

Suppose it’s the fear and anxiety that comes with separating from your favourite person.

The world and society have become scarier than it previously was and life is not as secure when you’re not with the person who can shield you from those things. There’s no comfort, only pure vulnerability, and what better way to feel protected than to return to a lover even when there’s nothing but a feeble spark that’s left over from what was once a blazing forest fire.

Seungmin challenges that particular view of yours at dinner with Felix as well after a long day at work. He wanted to see where you were coming from but also because he’s there to force feed you the icy, sobering truth when you don’t want to hear it.

“If there’s no romance, what’s the point of going back to each other?” he asks.

“They were dating for years Seungmin, you don’t just get over someone that quickly,” Felix responds instead like he was the one being offended.

Dissimilar to Seungmin, Lix will let you down gently and is afraid to hurt you with the sharp use of words that can be sometimes.

“Supposedly,” you mutter to yourself knowing full well how fast it was for Minho to just go ahead and fuck someone else after you had broken up.

“Do you still love him?” Seungmin questions swiftly.

“No,” you respond promptly.

“If there was an opportunity to get back together with him, would you go for it?”

“No,” you answer again. “I couldn’t.”

Felix blinks, not expecting that answer, “well…then…”

“Then stop seeing him if you know what’s good for you,” Seungmin continues. “Those icky feelings that you get after sleeping with him - not good. That’s the regret you’re experiencing and it’ll never feel any better.”

There’s no crack or fault in his advice. Had you not dished out the truth about the details of your messy breakup before and after, you would’ve still been glued to the same spot. It’s important to have someone humble you, and there’s no better person to do that than Seungmin.

“Just keep thinking about it, okay? On another note, Hyunjin’s coming back from France next week so we’re having a dinner and drinks,” Seungmin mentions.

Your mind briefly departs from the subject of your ex, “is he? Has it really been that long?”

“Yeah,” Felix replies, also surprised. “You’re coming right? We’re going to have a few drinks too, and catch up.”

“What time?” You ask.

“Around six,” Seungmin answers. “Does Minho know?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” you shrug, the thought of him returning to your mind once again. “I don’t know if he’d have any interest in going since they’re not friends anymore.”

Felix recalls that factor, “that’s right. But, if the rest of us are going to be there, we should invite him too, no? Unless it’s too difficult for y-”

“It won’t be difficult,” you reply, punctuating the rest of Felix’s sentence a little too quickly. “He and I can get along for about…ten minutes before things go sour. Plus, I don’t mind not going if he wants to. I can always catch up with Hyunjin another day.”

“You’re our friend too, remember? Don’t let your asshole of an ex-boyfriend stop you from seeing us. You broke up with him, not us,” Seungmin sends you a powerful reminder. “I’ll have a chat with him so that you don’t have to.”

He has a full understanding that if you and Minho were to attempt another civil conversation, it’ll go haywire and lead to more regret that you don’t need to be feeling right now. It just goes to prove that he’s beyond correct to even assume that fact.

The minute you both try to convey how or what it is that you’re both feeling, tensions boil over. For some reason that tension is only resolved by being bent over the nearest surface and fucking it out together.

It’s not healthy.

You go to remind Minho of what he did to you which he hates hearing, not because he denies it but because he does truly feel guilty. His only saving grace to that argument was that you had both technically broken up, meaning there were no ties to one another afterwards. Still, he missed the point of the fact that he hurt you as a result of those actions. It was too fresh to have done that to you.

Even when he recognised that factor, it was hard for him to accept that he actually caused you some form of irreversible emotional harm

However, Seungmin was right in the fact that you broke up with Minho and not your friend which enabled you to leave that dinner feeling a bit better and with a clearer judgement about going forward with a decision to cut all ties with Minho. It wasn’t something to look forward to.

But what was, is the dinner in the upcoming week. It’s the prime opportunity to see everyone again for the first time in over a month.

Despite your collection of text messages and calls from the likes of Chan, Jisung, Changbin and others, it was hard to associate yourselves with them in fear that all they’ll do is unintentionally remind you of Minho. It was the same way he felt when he was clearing out his house - not wanting to be around anyone or anything that would refresh his memory of you.

Now, all you want to do is move on.

Work had a helping hand in that process. Having been so busy with things piling up, your mind was free from Minho during the day. You were able to focus on tasks instead of wallowing and thinking about whether or not to give him a second chance

If it weren’t for Seungmin texting you the details of the upcoming dinner, work-life would’ve swallowed you up whole and made you forget.

From Minnie: 6 pm we’re meeting up, Also, just a heads up, Minho said he’s coming. Take it with a grain of salt though bc he might change his mind.

To Minnie: Thank you :)

You inhale a breath of fresh air. Going to this dinner was necessary whether it was going to be difficult or not. The presence of Minho wasn’t going to stop you from seeing your friends, and with that, you decide to get ready and head straight to the venue.

The restaurant has a separate open area for functions and tables people can book out. The dim golden lighting brings a warm and cosy vibe to the venue, coupled with a beautiful earthy aroma from reed diffusers distributed around the place and the smell of promised good food. It’s a relatively fancy setting, but not to a degree where you would be denied entry if you didn’t meet a dress code.

As you walk further down, you can already see Chan and Jisung chatting up a storm in the corner while they wait for the others. It’s a relief that not many people have made it so far in order to keep as low of a profile as possible and to not draw attention to yourself. However, little by little, they will definitely notice you’re there.

Jisung is the first to spot you, his jaw becomes unhinged as he drags himself out of the booth, speeds over with his face lit up, and throws his arms around you in a bone crushing hug. He nearly squeezes and shifts all of your organs out of place.

“Do you know how much I’ve missed you?” he exclaims loudly in your ear.

Chan laughs in the distance at his best friend's behaviour, “let her breathe Jisung.”

He releases your body for a rush of oxygen to surge back to your brain, “sorry, I just can’t help the fact that I haven’t seen you in a month!”

“You Facetimed me Jisung,” reminding him of that one and only time you accepted him reaching out to you to see if you were okay.

“That’s completely different, anyway sit down,” he offers. “I’ll get you a drink.”

Without wanting to hear any protest from you, Jisung darts off to the bar nearby, ordering a beverage or two. Chan then waves out, ushering you to come and sit before you walk towards the booth.

“If I had gone another week without seeing you, I’d probably start to forget what you look like,” Chan jokes, patting his hand down on the space of cushion beside him for you to sit.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” you respond.

The second you’re seated, you can already feel Chan’s mind trying to intrude yours. There’s no point in lying to him when he’s akin to one of those Occlumens from Harry Potter, an all knowing person who can hear every one of your thoughts at will. Regardless of the fact that he’s not, it’s his parental nature which exudes that.

“Going okay?” He asks you.

You take a deep breath in and sigh out, “I could be worse.”

“You’re still here though,” he responds wisely. “And so are we.”

Chan never wanted to ask why you never told them or came to them when you first broke up with Minho. They all had to find out through one another then needed to text or ring you to confirm that it was actually real. However, they all knew that you must’ve had your reasons. Naturally, it would’ve been tough to accept let alone leaning on your close friends for support.

“Thank you,” you respond.

“Here we go,” Jisung calls out, carefully returning with two different types of cocktails. “They’re both strong as hell so don’t try to choose.”

“Not that you’d have it any other way right?” you reply, helping him with the glasses as he sits down beside you.

He pats your head as he goes to sit down and slings his arm around your shoulder, “you know me too well. Anyway, Changbin and Hyunjin are here. He just texted me before.”

Chan sulks, “what? No! he was supposed to wait until everyone else was here.”

“To be fair, they were meant to be here twenty minutes ago so Changbin is actually on time,” Jisung responds. “Anyway, how are you missy?”

“Better now that I’m with you guys,” you answer, giving him a bit of a friendly nudge before leaning into him.

Jisung grins, genuinely relieved on the inside to hear that you are. Not that you have been able to notice, but they were all worried for you at one point. The lack of information regarding your whereabouts or even the state of your well-being was concerning. It was almost like you had dropped off the face of the earth at one point, right up until you finally made the decision to start accepting people trying to contact you.

Unfortunately for your friends, they had to learn about what you were up to through Minho, and even today, you’re not sure if what he said to them was the truth. Nonetheless, they all knew at the end of the day, if they were ever unsure or suspicious of what he was feeding to them, they were mature enough to come to you to double check. If they were able to get through to you.

“Good. Now come back and hang out with me because these guys are boring.”

Chan goes to lift a finger and point across at Jisung to object his statement before Changbin rounds the corner with Hyunjin trailing at his side.

The last you saw him was some five years ago, just before he went away to an arts’ school in France to study. Now he returns taller with much more cut and distinct features and a head of light brown hair that’s visibly eclipsed his natural jet-black colour. Despite that, he also seems softer or shy when he gives everyone at the table a half smile.

“Who’d you say was boring?” Changbin prods into the conversation.

Jisung points up with his beverage in hand, “you and Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows knit together with worry, “is he drunk already?”

A bright smile fashions on Changbin’s face when he notices you, “Y//N! Now it’s two welcome home parties!”

Hyunjin turns to look down at you in surprise, “have you been away as well?”

His question serves as a reminder that he has been relatively out of the loop since he’s been gone – not that you expected him to be fully aware of everything since he probably had better things to do. Hyunjin was still active in the group chat, but none of you prefer to communicate that way when hanging out is the better option. Whilst he’s missed out on a lot of stuff that’s happened, he hasn’t been so oblivious to other things.

“Not exactly,” you respond awkwardly. “But welcome back by the way.”

He smiles softly, “thank you.”

The get-together officially kicked off when Jeongin, Seungmin, and Felix arrived just before the second round of drinks was ordered. Everyone was happy to have Hyunjin back. Even for you, it was nice to see him again after so long – it was nice to see everyone in general. The setting was reminiscent of old times when everyone banded together. Whether it was at karaoke, dinner, a bar, someone’s house, or at some event, it’s always a good feeling when you’re around them.

It leads you to feel slightly upset that you haven’t seen them in so long. You’ve missed hearing their laughs, their jokes, and the safety that you feel too. But for a very painfully obvious reason, none of it seems to be the same without Minho.

“Didn’t show up did he?” Seungmin, who had been chatting up a storm with someone at the bar, walks over and takes a seat opposite you at the cornered booth. Just about all of them were alternating from the table to the bar, and a space they’d found to stand up to talk, or in Jisung’s case, dance by himself.

“Mm,” you mumble. “Which I’m sure is a good thing.”

He shrugs carelessly but with a small grin, “for your benefit. Not that I’m an expert in relationship problems but I can speak from personal experience.”

“That’s true,” you respond, remembering that he has in fact had his heart broken a few times by the same person.

Luckily for him, he’s ceased the chase and gave an account the other day at dinner of how freeing it was to be his own individual. It’s something you can only hope to achieve at this point – to be liberated from that sticky dependency you have on Minho.

It’s not love that you feel for him anymore, you’re sure of it. But it’s similar to a violent craving. His skin, voice – oh his voice. Everything about his body has you itching under the surface to have him by your side even though things end in a fiery argument, which is usually how it goes.

It wasn’t love anymore. It was dependency. A type of separation anxiety that fills you up with this icy cold feeling that won’t go away until you specifically have Minho near you. Still, deep down, you knew you didn’t love him anymore.

“Is Jisung okay?” Hyunjin ticks his head towards his friends’ direction.

Judging by the fact that Chan was holding a barely conscious Jisung up was a clear indicator that he definitely wasn’t okay. Never has he been able to handle his alcohol well and it was evident by the lack of control over his own body.

Seungmin looks over concernedly then looks down at his phone to check the time, “shit, I have to take him home too.”

He abandons you briefly to help out Chan. Both of them collectively agree that Jisung needs to go home or at the very least be removed from the bar to sober up. They take him to an empty table nearby and ask the bartender for some water. Meanwhile, Hyunjin turns a blind eye to the chaos and talks to you instead.

“How have you been Y/N?” He asks.

“Yeah, good. You? How was France?”

By the look on his face, it was as if your question brought back a whole heap of good memories to the forefront of his mind, “I couldn’t have asked for a better experience.”

“That’s good to hear,” you reply. “So have you graduated already?”

“Three months from now I will be,” he answers. “Why? You wanna come watch me walk across the stage over there?”

You consider his offer, “what if I said ‘yes’ to that?”

“Then I’d be over the moon,” Hyunjin emphasises then offers a brilliant suggestion that springs into his mind. “In turn, maybe I can show you around France and all the places I went to.”

“Is that a deal then?”

“Sounds like a solid deal to me,” he responds and whether he was joking or not, either way, it seemed a pleasant idea.

During the last hour of the dinner, you spent having an in-depth conversation with Hyunjin. From what he got up to in France, what he wants to do in the future, then covered what you’ve been doing as well

The topic of your ex-boyfriend was difficult to navigate, but you managed it well by diverting to another subject. The last thing you wanted to talk about was Minho for fear that the more you think about him, the more you’d want him.

Then again, you’re reminded once more of the fact that Hyunjin and Minho aren’t friends. He may not have any interest in him whatsoever. But it’s not like they left each other on horrendous terms. Not like how you and Minho did. Plus, it’s hard to see this fresh shade of Hyunjin in front of you, hating anyone he doesn’t like or doesn’t know.

The Hyunjin from five years ago would’ve held a grudge, but now you can see by his shift in personality, that he’s let it go.

When it came down to having to leave, everyone seemed to have their own plans. Seungmin would have the misfortune of taking care of Jisung. Felix, Jeongin, Hyunjin, and Changbin decided to go bar hopping while they were still stable on their feet and even encouraged you to come with them. It took a lot of convincing to tell them ‘no’ after you were set on heading home to the comfort of your own space.

Seungmin assured Chan that he was fine to handle Jisung, then thought it would be a polite gesture to accompany your side when you decided to walk home, regardless if it was only a minute's commute from the restaurant.

“How are you holding up?” Chan addresses the elephant in the room.

His question could be seen a mile away. It made you wonder if that was the reason he chose to walk you home since his place is in the opposite direction. Although he wasn’t confronting you, that’s exactly what it felt like.

“Somewhat okay, I suppose,” you answer.

“No, how are you really? We see Minho all the time. In fact, he won’t leave us alone. But we haven’t seen you,” he responds. “You can still hang out with us you know?”

“I know that,” you almost whine, especially after offering your ear to Jisung just for him to repeat the same words for over two hours. “I’ve been busy.”

“I guess being busy is a positive.”

“It’s when there’s nothing to do or I don’t feel good and I don’t have anyone around,” you respond and both come to a halt when you reach the entrance to your apartment building. “That’s the hardest.”

“That’s when you call us,” Chan says strictly. “I know you know this too, but all of us would drop whatever it is that we’re doing to come and help you. Not just Minho, even though I had some reservations about seeing him after what he did.”

The last parts of his words surprised you. Chan actually thought about cutting Minho off too when he found out what happened…

“So he did tell you everything.”

“Everything,” he confirms. “Including everything that you’ve both been up to now. Like how you still see each other now and then – and not for the reasons I had hoped. So why do you keep seeing him when you want to move on?”

Your eyes narrow at him, “how do you even know that I want to move on?”

“The fact that you still sleep with him but won’t pursue any sort of communication to get back with him romantically, says a lot Y/N. And I know that because he’s told me,” Chan answers bitterly, but not in a nasty way. “Your body might miss him, but I know your mind doesn’t.”

He’s bitten through the truth which you can’t seem to, his elderly brother-type personality forces you to see reason. You’d be offended if Minho tried to initiate a conversation about wanting to get back together, knowing that he’s not in any position to be making requests after what he did.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You ask tiredly.

“I want what’s best for you,” he says. “Yes, Minho too in some way, but I told him he needed to figure out what he did on his own because I can’t help him with that. That’s his punishment.”

You supress a laugh, “thank you.”

Your short talk with Chan made you realise how empty your cup had been since you last saw him – since you last saw all of your friends under one roof. It was rewarding and it felt like home to be near them. However, his words weren’t there for you to just defer from. You had to listen to him. He was right in saying that your body misses Minho but your mind doesn’t because the next time he came around, you swore to yourself that it was going to be the last time you saw him.

But it needed a conversation, one that you weren’t even sure if you were ready to have, too scared to rip that band aid off.

As you don your bra back on and shimmy on your underwear that Minho almost tore off, you think of all the possible ways to approach this situation, bearing in mind that it does have the potential to blow up.

“W-We need to talk,” you stammer, wondering if that’s a good way to start. It’s a start, that’s all that matters.

Minho stares at you from the other side of your bed, halfway through putting on his t-shirt, “okay, what about?”

Without any warning, you blurted out what needed to - what must be said, “we should stop seeing each other.”

Heavy silence drapes over the room, except for the cogs working overtime in Minho’s brain, trying to decode your words could almost be heard. You can most definitely see it on his deadpan face. It illuminates the seriousness of the situation compared to what it was five minutes ago.

“Can you give me some more detail about that?” He requests.

“I just don’t think it’s healthy that we continue to sleep with each other when we’re not going to get back together,” you inform him.

“You don’t want to get back together?” Minho poses the long awaited question that hurts to even conjure an answer.

“Be honest, we’d be together right now if you knew that I was serious about it,” you say truthfully. “I’ll never not love you, but I can’t love you in the way that I used to.”

The sheer surprise of the conversation made Minho realise that he’s been consuming too much of a good thing. That he actually wasn’t prepared to talk to you about this. It’s been creeping around the back of his mind since you both started seeing each other casually but ignored it so as to spend as much time with you as he could even though you weren’t with him anymore.

“Right.”

“Look, just…don’t go cold on me, because I do want to talk to you about these things,” you plead with him.

“Such as?”

“Such as our friends,” you start off. “All of us hang out a lot, but I didn’t want our…breakup to stop either one of us from seeing them. They’re your friends and mine too. I’d hate for us to be driven away from them because we can’t coexist anymore.”

“Fair enough.”

You can sense that he’s already starting to shut down. An obvious coping mechanism that’s triggered by something he wasn’t prepared to hear. But while the final shreds of his rationality are still with you in the room, you make haste, and dish out the important points he needs to know.

“We might not ever be friends again even though that’s not what I’m hoping for-“

Minho stands up from the edge of your bed, cutting the rest of your sentence off in the process, “if you’re serious about everything that you just said, then I don’t want to see you text or call me first asking me to come over. This isn’t a one-sided deal that only applies to me, you have to stick to it as well.”

“This isn’t even a deal Minho. I am telling you not to.”

“What? Telling me ‘not to’ because you can’t control yourself around me? Fine. I don’t know if you realise this, but the majority of the texts between the both of us, are mainly sent from you - you asking for me, telling me how lonely you are, or how much you miss my body. So don’t start handing out instructions when you’re not going to adhere to them as well.”

There’s a viper-like sting to his words that keeps piercing your resolve. A truthful sting that seeps poison into your blood, making you feel sick and cold. He’s torn you off your high horse for a moment, bringing you back down to earth to realise that it’s not just him who needs to see reason as well.

He had a very strong argument.

Minho sighs and tails more information to his tangent, “look I will do whatever it is that you want me to do. But, if this is what you want, then you can’t deny that it will only work one way.”

There’s an efflorescence of achiness in your chest. A familiar one that you felt in the early days after breaking up with Minho. It was the same one you would feel whenever you’d have to lock the door to the spare bedroom in his house whenever he bought someone else over.

Heartbreak.

It lingers when he finally leaves with the promise of never reaching out to you again, at least for sex because there was no way of avoiding him in the future. That fact was impossible to refute. But this is what breakups consist of. Not one hairline shy off of being messy. It could, though, be much worse. That’s as much you had to be grateful for when you have to start from square one all over again.

Changing things up was necessary. You had already moved out from Minho’s, which there was no choice behind, but that meant new scenery. Different places to peruse in your own time that you hadn’t yet ever since you had moved out

It opened up new opportunities to visit some local things, especially on your way back home from work as you decide to call into a small cafe.

Soft bossa nova plays calmly in the background as you stand and deliberate on something sweet to take home with you for after dinner. If it weren’t for the many niche options to select from, you would’ve almost missed the voice talking from beside you.

“I heard the matcha bread is nice here.”

Your surprise gets the better of you, almost forgetting how to speak for a split second when you see a familiar tall figure you met once more from the other week.

“Hyunjin?”

“Hey,” he smiles. “Wanna sit down together?”

You end up ordering yourself a warm drink and a sweet pastry to go while Hyunjin found a small table right in the crook of the cafe. His sudden appearance was rather pleasant, allowing you to divert from your own thoughts for a bit. Plus, it’s always nice to sit and chat with a friend.

“I thought you might’ve been here to meet up with one of the others,” you say to him.

Hyunjin nods, putting his coffee down, “I just spent the last couple of hours helping Changbin buy clothes just down the road at one of the shopping centres, so that’s where I came from.”

You smile, “well he trusts you more than the others in that department.”

“As he should,” Hyunjin grins softly. “How are you?”

“I’m well, I just finished work and was heading home,” you respond.

“I’m not keeping you from going am I?” He asks politely.

“No, not at all,” You quickly exclaim. “The longer I stay, the more of an excuse I have not to do the mountain of things I need to for work.”

Hyunjin chuckles, “well, as long as it doesn’t get you into trouble with your colleagues.”

“I should be fine,” you hope.

“You know, when I think about it, you and I never really spoke that much back then,” he points out. “I only just realised that from last week when I saw you again.”

His comment makes you think back too

Hyunjin was definitely part of your friend group, but not one who you would hang out with individually or with another person. He was just there, almost like he was known to you by association. Aside from the fact that he’s well-mannered and kind, the only aspect of his personality that seemed to have changed is how boisterous he used to be.

Although, that’s to be expected when people mature and cross the bridge from adolescence to adulthood.

“True enough,” you reply and start snickering when you remember something funny. “But I have good memories of you though. Like when you threw that bottle at Jisung.”

Hyunjin’s eyes nearly pop out of his head, “I remember that. I could’ve killed him with that too.”

“Or when Chan had to pull you up from the train tracks because you fell off the platform and got stuck,” you add on.

“Most of those memories seem to have some type of mortal peril attached to it,” Hyunjin discovers.

“You were young,” you remind him tenderly. “They make for the best memories anyway.”

He agrees, staring into a space on the table as he reminisces, “true. So much has changed since I got back. I feel like I’ve missed out on growing up with you all even though we were just teenagers back then and adults now.”

“Maybe, but we’re still young though and some have more growing up to do than others,” you hint very cryptically at one person who automatically springs to mind. “So don’t feel sad that you’ve missed out when there’s still a lot for us out there.”

Hyunjin sits a bit more comfortably knowing that. As you both continue to talk, he realises how much you’ve changed yet somehow remained the same. You grew into your features, enhancing what was already there to a finer degree. Your looks were Hyunjin’s first impression of you when you first met as devious young teenagers.

That was before he discovered that you are as kind and cool as you come across. But you were just distant friends back then. Now, Hyunjin detected a space for that to potentially change. He wanted to get to know the friend he hung out with here and there.

Even though time threatened to cut the starting opportunity short, it was still a start nonetheless, and Hyunjin was confident that there would be other times to arrive as well. So as the baristas begin cleaning up behind the counter and around the cafe, both you and Hyunjin took it as a sign that it was probably time to head off. You both take your belongings, thank the staff on your way out and head into the night.

“Y/N,” Hyunjin says to you. “We should get coffee again sometime.”

You nod, “I’d love that. I still have your number.”

“So do I,” he replies. “What way are you heading?”

“I’m just literally around the corner, not even a minute away,” you answer.

“Okay, I’ll look forward to your text then,” he says.

I strictly forbid and do not permit ANYONE or any user on any platform to copy, re-upload, translate, remake, or pass off any of my work here on Tumblr or to any other online platform whatsoever. Doing so will result in having your account suspended, deleted, taken down, and or permanently banned.

#rosiewritesskz #stray kids smut #skz smut #lee know smut #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfic #lee know x reader #lee know fanfic #lee know fic

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droolysub · 4 months

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welcome + please read byf! ๋࣭ ⭑ ⚝ (like if read)

🚫 DNI minors naz1s, p3d0s, actual fucking r*pists... (do not test me. you will be blocked) 🚫

🌈 LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THIS BLOG IS LGBTQIA+ FRIENDLY! 🏳️‍⚧️ • SUPPORTS BODIES OF ALL COLORS, SHAPES, ABILITIES & SIZES • BELIEVES THE UNHOUSED & DRUG ADDICTED ARE MEMBERS OF MY COMMUNITY • SUPPORTS WHORES WHO DO SW & WISHES THEM NOTHING BUT LOVE, SAFETY, POSITIVITY, SUCCESS IN THEIR FUTURE!!!!, GETTING CONSENT • GETTING TESTED • PEEING AFTER SEX • SUPPORTS WHAT IS HARMLESS & FEELS GOOD BETWEEN TWO CONSENTING ADULTS 💯😎

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pls send over your questions, comments, compliments, confessions, complaints, stories and/or concerns here :3

🩷: bdsm, cnc, primal play, fauxcest, hypno, public, cg/1, md1g/dd1g, corruption, fr33use, s0mno, gangbangs, br33ding, impreg, cr3ampies, p3t pl4y, 4ge pl4y, 4ge g4p, m/s, impact pl4y, d3gradati0n, humili4ti0n, drool, praise, b1mb0ficafion, p1ss, lactat10n, nipple t0rture, size difference, body worship, feet, f1ndom & being babieee

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my hobbies include: blogging, taking sexy pics/vids of myself, listening to music, watching movies (i love psych thrillers) & anime (magical girl shows, slice of life, some shonen like fate), baking sweets, going out into nature when the weather + my health permits, dolling myself up w/ makeup + cute outfits, seeking attention, online shopping & drooling over my sexy mutualssss 🙈💕

i strongly admire the dd1g lifestyle/dynamic. it brings me pure bliss to be played with/protected/cherished as a little girl. i was naturally drawn to the to soft/nurturing/caregiving aspects of the relationship yet still enjoy the rougher sex with someone i deeply love/trust 💖 aftercare is a big deal to me & chances are i will be needing it after sex. that's 100% nonnegotiable, so if we play, respect it!

i promise not to make any personal tragedy everybody's problem but i do struggle with some pretty serious health conditions. it can make my life painfully difficult & i can barely leave bed some days. i try my best to stay active, to respond in a timely manner, to answer asks... but it takes longer to reply due to reasons beyond my control, at times. i just sorta want it to be known so that 1. people can be compassionate if they like and 2. people who are also struggling due to poor health at a younger age know that they aren't alone (pls know i emphasize & am rooting for your recovery, whatever that personally means to you!!).

i'll be posting little updates about my wellbeing (or lack of, lol) while i'm here. i don't rly want to specify what since it puts me into a panic but yeah, just know your girl is STRUGGLING. Drooly could be better with your love/support! 🫂

feel free to tip or spoil me for custom/premium content, one on one time, the gfe, dick ratings, because you like my blog/meeee, if i made you cum, etc. i also love love receiving gifts off my wishlists if anybody would like to make me happy via that! gifters will be gifted back ofc 💓 i'm currently trying to move out so pls pls pls support me!!!!!!! i NEED to leave this cruel household for a better place... i am practically ebegging. i have cashapp but egiftcards have been super helpful too! i have 0 income besides this blog & if i don't earn my meals by working here then i don't get to eat. i live frugally to save for rent & that's about it. still trying to figure out my school supplies! (edit: got em 😎)

also

here's my bdsm results, if you even care

#personal #pinned

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in1-nutshell · 4 months

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hellooo!! i want to say your blog and writing are so so soooo wonderful! i love it, haha, and buddy became dear for heart x) aaand!! thanks to you I like family fluff even more, it's my comfort zone now!

can i ask about older seeker, who care about skywarp and thundercracker with star? despite canon and w∆r, it's pretty nice to think that they're actually good with each other 🥺

Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad to hear that The Buddy's are leaving such a good impact on people!

Since you did not specify which continuity this was, I assumed you meant by the IDW continuity. If this isn't what you wanted, please let me know.

Now we've had a Human Buddy senior, get ready for Bot Buddy the senior!

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the Senior Seeker being a parental figure to Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Starscream

IDW

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronian reader

Buddy was one of the older seekers in the aerial troops.

If fact Buddy was probably the oldest bot in the Decepticon division. But despite being one of the older bots Buddy made it up with being an experienced flyer.

With their results it landed Buddy as one of Satrscream’s right hand assistant /teammate.

This meant that Buddy would be spending a lot of time with the Elite Trine.

“Buddy, reporting for duty, Starscream.”--Buddy

“Finally, someone who has some respect for the future Leader of the Decepticon army.”--Starscream

“Urgh.”--Skywarp

“Great another suck up…”--Thundercracker

“Well, isn’t that a bit ambitious isn’t it Stascream? Maybe not the future leader of the army—”--Buddy

“How dare—”--Starscream

“Don’t interrupt me Kid.”--Buddy

“Kid!?”--Starscream

“Nevermind I like this one.”--Skywarp

“Shush! Both of you!”--Buddy

“I was saying use your position to improve the lives of those who work with you.”--Buddy

“Now why would I do that!”--Starscream

“More kindness you spread the more kindness you’ll receive in the end.”--Buddy

“Buddy you might want to save your energy on that.”--Thundercracker

“Yeah, Screamer here doesn’t do kindness. I don’t think he knows the meaning of the word.”—Skywarp

“Worth a shot.”--Buddy

Enough time the Elite Guard had become too accustomed to the older bot being there all the time. Even after the war the Trine continued to have communication with Buddy.

Starscream wanted Buddy to stay on Cybertron as one of his advisors.

No offense to Rattrap but he isn’t the best bot to always have around. And he refuses to hang out with Windblade anymore than what he has to. Buddy does take time to visit Starscream whenever they are back on Cybertron.

“Screamer?”--Buddy

“Buddy?”--Starscream

“What are you doing?”--Buddy

“Having the mechs repaint your ship.”--Starscream

“Paint my ship?”--Buddy

“Yes, it was looking rather dull. Your ship shouldn’t have to look like that scrapheap.”--Starscream

“This isn’t a way for you to have me stay on Cybertron?”--Buddy

“No…”—Starscream

“Well then since I’m going to be here for a while, what’s going on between you and Windblade?”

“…”--Starscream

Buddy has made their home on Earth. It’s much more peaceful there now that the war is over. Buddy has to schedule meetings with Skywarp as his work has him moving all around with The GI Joe.

Skywarp likes it when Buddy comes over and races them around.

“C’mon Buddy best out of 25?”--Skywarp

“How about we take a breather? I can’t fly like I used to Skywarp.”--Buddy

“Aww! C’mon!”--Skywarp

“How about you tell me about that Rock guy?”--Buddy

“How about we take that breather.”--Skywarp

Buddy has to wait by themselves for a while to see Thundercracker.

9 times out of 10 Buster finds Buddy before Buddy has to try in finding Thundercracker. He gives Buddy a lot of copies of his screenwriting.

“Wow TC! This is a lot of screen writes.”--Buddy

“Yeah! I’m trying to get some of them to be produced soon!”--Thundercracker

“You seem to have a lot of good ideas here. But you might want to go over some of them again. I don’t think human’s have a last name like ‘Boyfriend’.”--Buddy

“I mean you can help me out as my editor. Just as a thought.”--Thundercracker

“Sorry kiddo, not my thing. I am however invested in how this one human having a crush on this other human that sounds suspiciously like Ms. Marrissa Farborne.”--Buddy

“Umm…”--Thundercracker

“And your love interest here kind of reminds me of y—”--Buddy

“HEY! Buster wants to play with you now! Isn’t that right Buster!”--Thundercracker

“Arf!”--Buster

Each seeker tries to keep Buddy longer each visit.

None want Buddy to leave.

Buddy never stays, but they always come back at the end of the day.

#transformers #transformers x reader #maccadam #idw mtmte #transformers idw #idw starscream #idw thundercracker #bot buddy #idw transformers #idw skywarp

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nothing-tolose · 1 month

Text

All Because I Liked A Girl.

Part 3

A/N: lol i found this a bit nonsense whsgajdhe *wheezing* AND AND AND IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT GOOD AS PART 2. anyway i love u guys sm xoxo

if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3

🇵🇸 daily click

part 1. part 2.

Those messages still showed up several times with some different accounts.

You decided to turn on the do not disturb mode so those hateful messages won't bother you for a while before you switched app to reply Ellie's message.

You

yeah

i guess..

You took a deep breath, fingers were typing over the keyboard with hesitation.

You

i'm not, actually

can you come over, els?

i need u here

please

delivered

You let out a slight sigh, and you put down your phone to the kitchen table. You buried your face in between your arms, eyes were red and tears stain on your cheeks.

You were actually don't want to give a fuck about Anne's post, but the way people insulting you and the way she reacted to them, you couldn't even understand. How on earth you don't give a fuck with that when some people were saying they'll be waiting your funeral? They might really do something if they have a guts and you were unaware.

And someone was just mentioned your initial there, Anne reacted with 'shh'. What kind of reaction was that?

You scared, terrified even. It feels like you're going to isolating yourself in your home until they forget about the post. Sadly you'll never do that, and you won't and you can't do that because you're not even graduate yet!

You left your phone there, and tried walking to living room even though your feet still feeling a bit limp, you were resting your body on the couch with blank stare to ceiling. Your mind started to thinking about those comments, from the first you saw it to the last you saw it on blog. It scares you, so much. Your tears coming down from your eyes for the second time, your chest were going up and down. You were sobbing so hard. Terrified, confused, all your feelings mixed in one.

Morning felt so long. Now it's 1PM, and you still on the same position with cushion that you hugged for the past few hours. You can hear nothing but your sobs and the sound of cars passing by on the street. Still not feeling any better.

The next second, you heard a knock from your door, followed by sound of door opened. You could tell it was Lauren who just opened the door, sound of hurried footsteps filled the room, "There you are!"

Lauren runs over you, crouches on the floor so that she's at eye-level with you. Her eyebrows furrowed, she obviously worried about you. She tapped your shoulder two times, "Would you sit?" She asked.

You just nod and get up slowly, leaning on the backrest while Lauren put down the cushion on your lap.

"Where's your phone?"

You turn your head and looking at the kitchen table where you left your phone morning earlier, "There," You said, almost not making a sound.

"Okay."

She walk towards the kitchen, her hand picked up your phone without a glance and put it in her coat pocket. You didn't paying attention to Lauren and staring to the front of your sight as you still got your panic attack, but you really really tried to make yourself calm down. Oh, but it didn't help you at all.

Lauren went back with a glass of water on her hand, she sits next to you, "Drink it, and try to breath slowly," You just do what she said.

She put it down the glass on the coffee table after you drank. You feel her thumbs wipes your tears slowly along with her little chuckle. You swore you have no idea if Lauren weren't here, you might be drowning in your tears or maybe crying blood when your tears already gone. Or the worst part, you might be dead alone here. She was like your own sister, who always stay on your side when you're down and when you're happy.

Lauren smiled at you before she hugged you so tightly, her hands running through your hair, "You don't deserve this."

"It'll pass. They'll forget about everything what happened today in no time, okay? You didn't stole Ellie," She keeps saying some words to make you feel better, and apparently it does. You fell asleep with your head on Lauren's lap.

Lauren took your phone out, and she stared at the lockscreen. There's still a bunch of messages request from people who still trying to get you down. Her eyebrows furrowed, anger almost taking over herself.

'All these fucking unnecessary messages, and Ellie doesn't texting her at all while the problem was involved with her? What kind of girlfriend is she?'

Lauren decided to changed the setting to disable the notifications from any social media except messages, at least you wouldn't see those fuckers from your lockscreen notification center.

She turned off your phone and took a glance at your face, she sighed.

'Does she really care about you right now? When everyone were talking shit about you because they thought you stole Ellie from Anne?'

Woke up on the same couch, the first thing you noticed was Lauren wasn't here. You were all alone, lights turned on, it's already dark out there.

"Shit, how long I've been asleep?" You get up, looked up to the clock and it's already 8PM. You grabbed your phone from the coffee tables in front of you, seeing if there's any messages you can reply.

messages from lauren

idk how long you've been asleep but i rlly have to go so sorry for leaving u aloneee;((

i bought some foods u can heat it up, AND dont skip your dinner bcs i assumed you haven't eaten today

dont be so curious to open ur social media, kay? i dont want u get your panic attack again

i love uuuuuu 💋💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️

You laughed for a second, then you scrolled the notification center searching if there's more messages. Your smile disappeared when you didn't see any messages from Ellie.

I mean, she always tried to reply your message asap after you sent the texts even when she's busy, she would tell you that she can't reply all your messages right now and will reply it soon as possible. The texts you sent to her this morning were still delivered. There's even no calls from her, does she even read your messages through the notifications? You needed her so much, and where is she now?

You don't want to overthink it. Maybe she's been too busy, but today is fucking Sunday, how the hell a student got really really busy on Sunday?

You bit your nails, suddenly thinking about your biggest fear.

What if she meet Anne in somewhere?

Your mind straight up thinking about her and Anne. All those what-ifs filling up your head, even you whispered to yourself to not assuming everything in negative way. But you couldn't help it. You really hate it when you can't help to stop assuming things.

You huffed, resting yourself on the backrest. You staring at the wall, imagining if Ellie were here right by your side like Lauren did and at the same time you still thinking if she were with Anne today.

You almost fell asleep again when you heard Ellie's voice calling your name along with knocking on the door. You stood up quickly and ran into the door.

Once you opened it, she grabbed both of your forearms. Her face looked so worried, worried than Lauren. She panted, sweating all over her face, and messy hair strands on the side of her face.

Your hands on her shoulders, "Where have you been?"

She didn't answer your question, all she said was, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." And asking you if you were okay, then she hugged you tightly like you were about to leave her.

You ended up on your bed, laying down with your head resting on her arm. After she said sorry five times, you took her to the bedroom. You really wanted to ask her, where the hell was she this entire day? Why did she texted you and just disappeared, and then showed up looking so worried like she was almost dead?

But here you are, with her. None of you broke the silence. She caressed your cheeks so gently, kissing your forehead several times, and humming.

You looked up to her, staring at her green emerald eyes. Your mouth was opened, almost asking her the same question that you've asked before.

"Sorry, I had an emergency." Right before you could ask her, she spoke.

"What emergency?"

Ellie went silent, she bite her lower lip and glancing aside, avoiding eye contact with you.

"Ellie, what emergency?"

She sighed heavily, her eyes now looking at you, "Sorry, you got dragged into this mess because of me. I shouldn't be disappeared for an entire day after texting you," She closed her eyes and looked away, "I'm really sorry."

You sitting up there and shook your head in desperation, "You did answer my question earlier, but you didn't answer the last question, Ellie. What emergency?"

There's no reply from her. You scoffed, "Ellie, what emergency that made you didn't reply to my texts?"

Ellie turned her head, "You texted me?"

"What?"

Oh.. Wait, what?

taglist: @cherryimaa @kimaellie @backedbeansh @bunnyrose01 @bready101

#⋆˚࿔ nothingtolose 𝜗𝜚˚⋆#ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #tlou2 #lesbian

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ginevrapng · 6 months

Note

ur blog brings me so much comfort!! can i pls request james potter the man himself who’s so big and strong and he’s so attractive and people wonder why he’s with u but neither he no the marauders stand for it and he comforts the hell out of u when it insecure about how chubby you are and he thinks you’re the most beautiful girl and you body is honest to god a bonus

sorry i NEED comfort

love u

sometimes it's hard to stay positive about your body and self image, you try you best but you know people wonder how you're dating the famous popular james potter, why he's with you. sometimes you become insecure about your relationship, you know that people wonder why you're together because he can 'do so much better' and sometimes you wonder the same. james is popular for a reason, he's strong and attractive and charismatic so you wonder why he's even with you. why would he settle for the chubby girl when he can have anyone he wants?

little did you know the marauders do not stand by when they hear people talk negatively about you, they say to you they'll be more careful with pranks now they're older but they take that back when they overhear someone say something about your relationship with james, really those people are lucky that james doesn't hex them.

today's one of your worst days, you're more insecure than you normally are and you're overthinking your whole relationship. james spots you in the courtyard and he can practically see the cogs turning in your head, "are you alright sweetheart?" you jump as you hear james' voice.

"i'm fine james," you mumble and smile unconvincingly.

james' eyebrows furrow in worry. "c'mon love, let's go back to my room." he holds onto your elbow gently and pulls you along lightly. you can't help yourself but turn to the the windows that line the classroom walls where you frown as you see yourself in the reflection.

james is worried but doesn't want to push you in saying something you're not ready to say, he wants you to feel safe enough to tell him, he's in no rush so when you get back to his dorm he shuts the door and smiles sweetly at you before he sits onto the bed. you play with the sleeves of your jumper and look down. james pats the bed next to him as you stand above him not moving.

"okay," you say quietly and make your way to the bed, you lean on his shoulder and turn your head away from him before so he doesn't see your face. he holds onto you tightly to try and comfort you but you just think about how much bigger you are than him. "james why are you with me?" you whisper.

"what?" james says confused, maybe he's misheard you.

you repeat yourself, "why are you with me?"

"why wouldn't i be with you?"

"you could have anyone you want james why me?"

" 'cause i love you, you silly billy."

"don't call me that loser," you mumble. james grins as he hears you call him a loser. he lifts you up and pulls you onto his lap. "james what are you doing?! put me down, i'm too heavy!" you say loudly, already trying to get out of his grasp but he's holding onto your love handles tightly.

"is this what this is about sweetheart? you think you're too heavy." you turn your head away from him, not wanting him to see your face. james cups your cheek gently and moves you he can see you. you stay silent and james kisses you forehead, "you're not too heavy in the slightest. i could carry you with one hand." he strokes your cheek and kisses you again.

"you're wrong, i'm too heavy james i'll hurt you. i don't know why you're even with me i'm chubby and not thin like other girls," you let out your feelings.

"sweetheart do you really think i have a problem with your weight?" he says delicately.

"who wouldn't?" you ask, trying not to cry.

james tries to resist laughing at the notion. "i'm sorry love but that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard."

"what are you talking about?"

"i love you and your body. do you really not know how hot you are?"

you twiddle with your fingers, "james stop that's not true. not my body."

he can't stop himself from laughing this time, although he immediately apoligises after. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to laugh it's just hilarious that you think i have a problem with your weight."

you start getting annoyed now, you feel like he's laughing at you and not being genuine in his compliments. "what are you even talking about james? just stop it."

"i'm saying that i love you and i think you're beautiful, your body is a bonus, a big bonus," he says earnestly. before you can interrupt him with your insecurities and doubts he keeps talking about you and continues praising you. "you're super soft and i love hugging you, you're so squishy. when you sit down and your thighs expand oh my god, it's so hot and i love how i can lay down on them and you play with my hair, it's so comfortable i could fall asleep." your face heats up as you hear him ramble, you realise he's not even focused on comforting you at this point, he's just distracted about how much he loves you and can't help himself but talk about it. he's just carried away and in his own world talking about how perfect you are in his eyes and how your body in his words is 'a big bonus'.

"when you cheer for me in quidditch matches you whoop and cheer and jump up and down, i can't help but get distracted as i see your pretty face in the crowd and the upper half of your body, which i can see, jiggle as you jump. it's so hard as captain because i should have complete focus on the game but i'm just thinking about afterwards when i can see you and kiss you. oh and when i grab your love handles and pull you towards me at random moments of the day, bloody hell i love hearing your little gasp in surprise as i feel your plush body pressed against my harder and stronger one." you smile at that as he talks about his own body and his confidence, you really are complete opposites in that sense.

"your tummy rolls are super cute and your pudgy arms are so biteable, just wanna give 'em a big old bite and leave a pretty mark for my pretty girl. and don't even get me started on your stretch marks-" you start giggling at his rambling.

"don't get started on my stretch marks jamie," you interrupt and as he sees you cheerfully smile, he grins in return. "thank you james," you press your forehead against his and hold onto him.

"it's okay love, honestly i got super carried away and distracted and i just wanted to talk about you," he nuzzles the crook of your neck.

"i could tell," you giggle.

"it's all true though. i really do love everything about you, you're the sweetest inside and out." he squeezes you.

"i love you too james, you're the best boyfriend in the world." he smiles gleefully in return.

"let's get into bed," he says suddenly standing up and picking you with him.

you gasp not expecting it, "it's the middle of the day jamie."

"yeah but it's winter and i want a cuddle." you can never say no to a cuddle with james.

i'm so glad my blog brings you comfort and i really hope you like this and brings you comfort too!! it brought me comfort and i wrote it asdfghjk. this became longer than intended but i got carried away a bit.

love you too<3

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isthedogawolfdog · 9 months

Text

I just saw a reel on Instagram, which I absolutely refuse to link because I don’t want to give it more views so I attached a recording of some of the more relevant parts above, but basically this woman (who I assume was a photographer due to the cameras and such) was in the middle of the Arctic doing who knows what. She starts off the video saying something “incredible” happened, and the footage then cuts to her being surrounded by roughly 13 wild wolves. Yeah, you read that right. Due to the poor quality that is my recording, I’ll try and break down what’s happening to the best of my ability.

Throughout the video you can see that the wolves seem not quite quite laid back, but aren’t scared. The wolf closest to the camera at roughly seven seconds in is regarding them with a look that kinda says “hey, what’s this?”.* All the wolves are either walking along on their path, or taking a closer look, not necessarily circling the two individuals but definitely keeping an eye on them. This is probably due to them not seeing people at all prior to this experience. Now, I know that might sound odd, but some areas in the Arctic or places super far north in general have wolves that just haven’t seen people. There was a documentary (which I forget the name of) that covered researchers interacting with a pack who hadn’t seen people. There was also a book (Never Cry Wolf by Farley Mowat) published a while ago that dealt with a pack similarly. When described, the behavior in both the book and documentary kinda reminds me of the wolves in this video.

A quick look at the animals tells me these people aren’t in any real danger, however, should the wolves get more curious and get closer things could probably get a bit tricky. Wolves being naturally neophobic, attacks on humans from healthy wild wolves are slim to none these days. Plus, you really shouldn’t interact with wild animals no matter what they’re acting like. Preferably these people would’ve tried scaring them away the second they saw them approaching (acting aggressive, maintaining eye contact, and whatever you do, don’t run!), but instead, we had to have a Disney princess moment.

In the extremely rare chance that the wolves had seen these people as food, we would be seeing more quicker movement, heads below their shoulders**, various behaviors to test and see whether the people were fit enough for a snack, etc. though this is not the case here. So why, might you be wondering, is this bad if the wolves aren’t hunting the people and the people aren’t interacting with the wolves?

Well, you should never, never, interact with wild animals like this, which if you’ve been following my blog for a while now you probably already know. These wolves, if they so happen to see people again, now associate people with something they can get close to without them getting hurt, which works great if you want a cool selfie, but isn’t good if you are a park ranger, a worried parent, or any other person in a position of authority really, let alone if you have a gun. Historically, if a wild animal (especially a wolf!) gets too close to people, they get shot. It doesn’t matter if the animal was exhibiting dangerous behavior or not, people can’t risk it. Basically, wolf getting closer to people and realizing they can do it without problems = them trying again at a time where things are different and people think “oh no, big and wolf!” and kill it.

I’m not sure how the encounter ended, but later footage shows the wolves farther away rallying as a group, so I assume everything went okayish despite the obvious errors. TL:DR, these people are endangering these animals with their need for a cool video, don’t be a Disney princess, and stay away from wild animals even if they look friendly.

*the wolf closest to the camera has its ears kinda flat and to the side, this is called airplane ears by some biologists (yes seriously) and it is a sign of uncertainty.

**fun fact: theories vary, but some have guessed that prey animals can tell whether a wolf is hunting from whether or not their heads are below their shoulders or not! This would explain why we see videos of wolves calmly walking passed a herd of elk while they stay rested, and why other times the elk will bolt as soon as they see the predator.

#wolves #wolf

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writerbuddha · 6 months

Note

Your blog is interesting and informative. Learning the behind the scenes stuff is interesting but I have found that I cannot accept some of the things Lucas says. Especially the discourse around attachment. Having watched the movies and read their novelizations I just do not find Lucas’s idea behind what he was trying to convey to be in his story.

This really hit home for me when rewatching The Clone Wars. In the episode Voyage of Temptation (season 2 episode 13) Obi-Wan and Anakin have this discussion:

Obi-Wan My duty as a Jedi demanded I be elsewhere.

Anakin Demanded? But it’s obvious you had feelings for her. Surely that would affect your decision.

Obi-Wan Oh, it did. I live by the Jedi Code.

Anakin Of course. As Master Yoda says, “A Jedi must not form attachments.”

Obi-Wan Yes. But he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.

I cannot square the idea that a Jedi would feel an undercurrent of remorse about not having a supposedly negative thing in their life. The only thing I can conclude is that it does not mean a negative and just means having a partner. Having love.

I'm really glad you like my blog, Anon! :)

What I take from your message is that you're a bit confused about attachment and non-attachment and how not forming attachments is guiding the life of a Jedi Knight.

You seem to equate "attachment" with "love" and "having a partner." However, this isn't quite right: attachment is the feeling that you like or love something or someone, paired with the feeling that you would be unhappy without them. Attachment is not the same as liking or loving, because attachment is characterized by the feeling that you have to have the things or people you like or love in your life to keep yourself happy. Once you feel this, you start to want things to not to change, to stay as they are, you want to permanently have things. But everything changes, things come and things go, you can't stop that. Attachment is an unrealistic and unreasonable desire that will lead to the fear of loss, and out of that comes anger, and from that comes hate. And being filled by fear, anger and hate is suffering.

The things we're attached to are most likely very positive, very good and very enjoyable, since we love and like them. Having a romantic partner and a romantic, loving relationship with that partner is not a problem at all, because that's not an attachment. Rather, attachment is the harmful and destructive way of relating to having a romantic partner and a romantic, loving relationship with that partner.

Let's go through this dialogue in Voyage of Temptation!

ANAKIN: You didn't stay to help her? OBI-WAN: That would have been problematic. My duty as a Jedi demanded I be elsewhere. ANAKIN: Demanded? But it's obvious you had feelings for her. Surely that would affect your decision. OBI-WAN: Oh, it did. I live by the Jedi code. ANAKIN: Of course. As master Yoda says, "a Jedi must not form attachments." OBI-WAN: Yes. But he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.

It would be important to be able to distinguish between not forming attachments and the life of the Jedi Knight made possible by not forming attachments, since the two are related, but very different.

ANAKIN: You didn't stay to help her? OBI-WAN: That would have been problematic. My duty as a Jedi demanded I be elsewhere.

Jedi Knights aren't where they would like to be, but where they are needed, and for a good Jedi Knight, who lives on compassion, the two are the same. They dedicate themselves to serve the entire known universe, to guard peace and justice, to settle disputes and make sure that everyone is protected. Obi-Wan couldn't stay with Satine, because as he tells Anakin, his Jedi duty demanded him to be elsewhere. He isn't saying, his duty as a Jedi was to "be nowhere near her," because a Jedi is not allowed to have partners and love.

The reason why Jedi Knights aren't entering marriages and romantic relationships is not that these would be attachments. They won't do it because it's simply impractical. The duty of the parent and spouse, who has to protect and support their family and the duty of the Jedi, who has to guard peace and justice in the entire universe cannot be fulfilled at the same time.

ANAKIN: Demanded? But it's obvious you had feelings for her. Surely that would affect your decision. OBI-WAN: Oh, it did. I live by the Jedi code. ANAKIN: Of course. As master Yoda says, "a Jedi must not form attachments."

Attachment is a very conditional way of relating to others. It says, "You make me very happy, I enjoy you so much, so I love you and I cherish you." It says, "You make me very unhappy, I despise you so much, I I hate you and I want to harm you." And it says, "You do not make me feel happy nor unhappy, I have no concern for you." And these are walking hand in hand: when Padmé made Anakin feel very happy, he wanted her to be safe, he was willing to pledge loyalty to Darth Sidious to keep her alive and in his life, but on Mustafar, when she made him feel unhappy, he wanted her to be miserable and he choked her. A Jedi Knight shall not form attachments, rather, they must have unconditional love, which is compassion. True love says, "I want you to be happy and free from suffering."

It's an aspiration coming from the simple realization that we're the same human beings in wanting to be happy and free from suffering. This can extend to all living things: the people who make us feel happy, the people who make us feel unhappy and the rest. Obi-Wan had to adhere to the Jedi code, "a Jedi must not form attachments." Compassion is central to a Jedi Knight's life. So, Obi-Wan had to make a decision that is based on compassion, the concern for the well-being of everyone, not just the concern for the woman he has romantic feelings for, who he likes and cherishes. Satine had a hard task ahead of her, but the war was over and she was safe. Others, however, were in need of the protection and guidance of the Jedi.

OBI-WAN: Yes. But he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.

What Obi-Wan feels an undercurrent of remorse about not having is a very positive thing: it's the relationship that he had with Satine, what he sacrificed for the life of a Jedi Knight. It was a hard choice, he loved Satine greatly. He doesn't feel bad about serving others as a Jedi Knight, but he does feel bad about leaving Satine.

But Satine didn't ask him to leave the Order, and by the end of the arc, they were both able to find peace, knowing that they made the right decision. I've already posted this quote from the great Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk and teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, but it's still explains this perfectly: "As a monastic you lead a life of monastic celibacy and community, and if the one you love realizes that, she will not suffer and you will not suffer, because love is much more than having a sexual relationship. Because of great love you can sacrifice that aspect of love, and your love becomes much greater. That nourishes you, that nourishes the other person, and finally your love will have no limit. That is the Buddha’s love."

Obviously, the disappearance of a loved one from our lives will never be easy, will bring sadness, and their absence will always be felt. But the severe pain, sorrow, regret over this, the anguish that we are not with them, the intense yearning to be with them, to get them back is stemming from our desire to hold on to what we find pleasant, good and joyous, from the inability to accept that we can never truly have, own, possess anything. If we cease the unrealistic and unreasonable yearning, we’re able to allow change, to allow death to enter into our lives and seeing it as a natural part of it. And we can be at peace.

#star wars #george lucas #jedi order #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x satine #satine kryze #clone wars #voyage of temptation #attachment #love vs attachment #anon ask #obitine

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desert-fern · 11 months

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 11: Operation Hellfire

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*Image is not mine, found on Pinterest*

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: DEATH and lots of it, explosions, guns, descriptions of dead bodies (not graphic but enough of a mention), blood, knives, stab wounds, fighting, missiles, bombs and bombing, downed plane, probably really terrible descriptions of military movements (I am not American or have any military connections, don’t fight me)

Word Count: 4.4k

Masterlist >> Part 10 >> Part 12

A/N: I’m sorry in advance…

===

The sky had darkened considerably as Bear checked her gear again. Her mask had slid back into place and she watched with keen eyes as her platoons assembled in front of her. One platoon was staying back as reserve, Fireball having volunteered to fill that position. “Allows me to listen to what the recon teams are saying,” he’d told her, squeezing her shoulder.

A sharp gaze swept over the people before her, and Bear couldn’t help but grin a little. They had trained for this and she knew that they had one hell of a group for aerial and terrain backup if needed, but she was still uneasy. The same feeling had been bouncing around in her head since they’d arrived in Riyadh and she was over it. All she could do was push it away for now, but not so far back that it would be forgotten. “So, does everyone have everything?” Bear shouted.

“Yes ma’am!”

“You all know your roles?”

“Yes ma’am!”

“Do you have any last minute questions to ask?”

“No!”

Bear clapped her hands together, the sound echoing off the buildings next to them. “Alright then. Load it up. We move in 10. Move your asses. Let’s go.”

The sudden flurry of movement made the pilots dizzy. People streamed back and forth between the choppers and supply bags, loading extra gear into the back of an armored vehicle, and in the middle, stood Bear who seemed unfazed by the chaos surrounding her. She had become the eye of the storm, making it seem like you had to fight like hell to get close and she’d make you fight for every step to escape her pull. It made her dangerous, and if you were a certain blond aviator, beautiful. This was the first time the pilots saw her in action. Sure they’d seen her fight and command her team, but watching her lead her team before an operation came as a surprise to them all. “Damn,” Fanboy whistled under his breath. “This is some serious shit.”

Sounds of agreement were heard around the WSO as they all watched Bear supervise her team. “Should we help?” Rooster asked, glancing around.

“Bear is pretty particular,” Hangman told them. “She might get mad if we try to get involved. We should probably stay out of it.”

“And you would know how?” Phoenix questioned him, grinning as the tips of his ears pinked.

Jake said nothing, knowing full well that anything he said would only give Phoenix more material to tease him with.

Bob nudged him gently. “It’s going to be okay. We have the easy part,” he tried reassuringly, but quickly added afterwards “Bear is a professional. Trust her to do what’s right.”

“That’s the part I’m worried about,” Jake mumbled to the WSO. He watched Bear tap FAK’s medic pack as they strapped it on and mumbled something to the young Seal. “How do I know that she’s going to keep herself safe as well?”

Bob nodded silently. He knew that Jake cared deeply for the Commander. Hell, he was probably one of the few who truly knew what the other man was going through. Bob’s wife flew med-evac for the Navy and his heart beat a little faster every time he saw her take off. So while he saw a little of himself in Jake right now, he also saw the hidden, unspoken love that shone through Jake’s eyes as he watched the woman in front of him. “You have to trust her, Jake. She trusts you to protect yourself. Extend that to her, and if you can’t, then you need to start,” he advised quietly.

All Jake could do was nod, opening his mouth to speak but was cut off when Bear held up a closed fist and the movement and voices around her stopped. “I trust that you all are ready to go?” Sounds of affirmation broke out across the tarmac, and the pilots watched one last equipment bag get tossed into a helicopter before it all went quiet again. “Great. Dagger team 1, get ready. My signal is your cue. You get one preemptive cue for when to be airborne. Am I understood?”

“Yes ma’am!”

Bear clapped her hands together and did one final glance around the area. “I will see you all on the other side of this. Let’s go!” Her team filed past her, grabbing their seats in the Blackhawk helicopters at the edge of the tarmac. But Bear strode over to Maverick, handing him a piece of paper. “Your radio channels. Make sure the pilots are on the top one.”

“Can do, Bear,” the older man replied, tucking the paper in his pocket. “Safe travels.”

“Thank you. Good luck aviators. Fly safe for me, will you?”

Rooster nodded. “I think we can manage that, Bear,” he told her, tapping her shoulder once.

Bear chanced a look at Jake and smiled softly when she found him already watching her. “Good,” she told them gently, “I need my flyboys and gals for this. Stay safe, okay?” When she got a few nods, she turned and walked back off towards the helicopter that had her seat. Once she was situated, she tapped her hand on the outside, and off they went, flying into the desert.

===

Under the cover of the newly fallen darkness, the Seals exited the helicopters, guns drawn and scanning for any threat. Two helicopters had hovered over the roof, their occupants repelling down before flying off, landing a safe distance away.

Bear had heard confirmation of the Alpha pilot team’s take off just before they landed, and was waiting for her team’s entry preparations to be completed. “Copy eyes,” Fireball said over coms. “Echo 5 recon has eyes Bear, how copy?”

“Copy Fireball,” Bear replied in a low tone. She caught a glimpse of Bug giving her a thumbs up from the rooftop. “Marshmallow, how copy?”

“Copy.”

“Electrical ready to blow?”

“Affirmative, waiting on your command,” came the man’s gruff reply.

“Alpha squadron how copy?” One final location check was all she needed from the aviators as she stepped into her position by the door.

“Copy Phoenix.” Chiming in shortly after the woman’s voice, Bear could make out the replies of the other pilots.

“Location status, Phoenix.”

Up in the air, Phoenix checked her screens. “Less than 12 clicks out. Awaiting order to drop,” she told the other woman on the ground.

Bear nodded. “Copy that. Alpha squadron. Banshee. Banshee,” she said loudly. “Go get them.” To her team, she gave the breach order and the lights in the compound shut off suddenly, plunging its occupants into darkness.

A minute later, a burst of light and noise echoed through the desert miles away, signaling the successful hits from the pilots. But that wasn’t her problem. Into the darkness she went, her team fanning out around her.

The building was soon filled with the sound of bullets flying accompanied by the shouts of dying men, enveloping them in the chaos of warfare as multiple teams advanced through the darkness. Creeping towards the middle floors where they knew al-Hameed, Khrushov, and Osmund were staying.

At the end of a long hallway, Bear held her hand up, fist closed, stopping her team in their tracks behind her. Giving the signal to split up between the two new halls, Bear felt the taps of her team as they passed her, the commander bringing up the rear as they moved down the left hall.

“Grenade!” Raptor shouted not even a full 20 seconds later, as he dove off to the side. The bomb bounced down the hall, its path cleared by the Seals taking cover and stopped inches from Bear’s feet.

Eyes wide behind her mask and her heart in her throat, Bear snatched up the grenade and launched it back down the hall, ducking for cover as it flew back the way it came.

The sound was deafening, and the explosion brought down the wall a ways ahead of Bear’s team. She stood shakily, ears ringing from the blast and grasped Flare’s outstretched hand. The pair provided cover for the others as they picked themselves up from the debris, before moving slowly forwards. Any survivors of the blast were swiftly dealt with, silenced abruptly by single shots to the head.

There was a sudden shout over coms, and a panicked request for their medic, who had gone in with Shrike. Bear heard FAK’s calm reply, requesting details, followed by Shrike’s order for two of her people to cover the young medic, and she made note of it as they approached the corner of the next hallway.

A doorway stood to the left, and Bear and one other ducked through it, weapons raised and scanning the room. “Clear,” her partner said and turned to leave, but as he did, a figure jumped out of the darkness, knocking the weapon from his hands.

Bear sprang into action, her gun left hanging from its strap and pulled her secondary weapon from its holster. By this point, the attacker had been flung off the Seal and was rising to his feet, knife in hand.

His attempted lunge forward was futile. With a blank expression, Bear fired off two shots to the head and heart, killing the would-be attacker instantly. A narrowed glare had the younger Seal shrinking back, eyes wide. “Clear,” Bear snapped, pulling the tape from her belt and slapping a mark on the now empty room.

They advanced down the rest of the hallway, finding a few more insurgents who were quickly dispatched with a hail of bullets as they went down.

“Bear, how copy?” Bug said over coms.

“Copy Bug.”

“Reaching second floor. No sign of targets. How proceed?”

“With caution,” Bear replied as she filed after her team down a set of stairs. “Team three descending to lower level one.”

“Copy.”

The sweeps of the lower levels were silent, except for the hum of generators providing power to what was essentially a bomb shelter. Down here, the white walls made the dark blue of the Seals’ gear stand out, making them clear targets.

They wove quietly through the halls, pausing at each corner before slipping down yet another blank hall. A creaking sound ahead had Bear signaling for her team to stop, but it was too late and a large man barreled around the corner, screaming in Urdu as he tackled Bear to the floor.

Her team froze, unsure how to proceed. The man was right on top of Bear, any shot they fired could hit her by mistake and they were left unable to help as they watched Bear fight.

She squirmed under his grip, fighting back with a ferocity he clearly wasn’t expecting. He grunted as Bear drove her fist into his side repeatedly, trying to dislodge his grip on her. It was futile though, once he got a grip on her throat. She kicked her feet, wriggling and grasping at his clothing. Spots started to appear in her vision and by a stroke of luck, she was able to draw her knife and drive it repeatedly into the man’s chest.

Blood poured from the wounds and Bear rolled out from under him just as the man fell to the floor. He hissed out one last curse in Urdu before falling still as Bear sat gasping for breath a few feet away. The front of her uniform was soaked with his blood, not that it showed, but she could feel it seeping into the shirt she wore underneath.

Flare knelt next to her Commander, pulling her mask up to inspect her throat. The younger woman winced at the red marks he had left behind, knowing full well that they would bruise horribly. “Can you speak?” Flare asked, her eyes filled with concern.

“Yes,” Bear rasped out. It hurt to draw in a full breath but she would take the bruises and the bloody knife over the death that the man had promised her. “I should be okay in a few minutes,” she managed to wheeze. “Just give me a little bit.”

Flare nodded, sitting back on her heels. She knew that there wasn’t much she could to help, but figured that her presence might help a little. And sure enough, five minutes later, Bear pulled herself to her feet. She pulled her mask back down, tucking it into her uniform before rolling her shoulders and motioning for her team to follow her down the hall.

Minutes passed but it felt like hours. Each room turned up empty and it only served to make every Seal in the vicinity nervous and on edge. There weren't nearly enough people as expected for a compound that held a known jihadist leader and an international weapons dealer. People like them traveled with a large group of soldiers, guards, as well as loyal followers. A few people here and there did nothing but increase the overall anxiety of the Seal team creeping through the building.

Bear had just rounded the corner when another scream of indecipherable Urdu echoed off the sterile walls. A knife was thrust into Raptor’s arm, blood splattering the floor. He grunted in pain, grabbing his rifle with his uninjured arm and fired a stream of bullets into his attacker even as the man fell dead at his feet.

“Shit,” Bear swore, lowering her weapon and moving to Raptor’s side. She pushed up his blood-soaked sleeve, grimacing at the wound before rummaging for her first aid kit. She passed him a large piece of gauze, telling him to press it against the slash. Her team had immediately swarmed around them, guns up, watching closely for any other men who thought they could launch an attack, while Bear was distracted.

Raptor hissed at the pressure, but he did as ordered, his blood staining the compress almost immediately. “Fucking hell,” the man grunted through gritted teeth. “That fucking bastard.”

“Hold still.” Bear’s voice was quiet but firm as she placed another several compresses on top of the blood-stained one before bandaging it tightly. “Can you still use your weapon?”

The man before her nodded, reaching for the weapon with his injured arm. He hissed softly, but quickly assured his Commander that he was fine.

“Okay. Get in the middle,” Bear ordered. “Let’s move.” They continued on, running into a few more guards, but again, nowhere near the amount they had expected or trained for.

Their coms crackled, Bug’s voice informing the Seals that Osmund was down. “Maybe 10 people protecting her. Advising caution in search of al-Hameed and Khrushov.”

“Copy,” Bear replied. Her heart sank, knowing that she could be walking into an ambush. She had written her letters, and was prepared for death, but that didn’t mean she wanted it. Her thoughts flickered to Jake and the soft plea that he would carry on if she were to die tonight. But she pushed every thought of him out of her head. Bear couldn’t afford the distraction right now. Her team needed her and she would fight like hell to get them out safely. “Stay liquid,” she ordered her team, before Flare tapped her shoulder, encouraging her forwards.

They traveled down hallway after hallway with no sign of anyone, friend or foe. Bear hardly heard Shrike’s voice saying that her team had joined the party on the basement level, she just kept moving. Each room was swept, reflective tape slapped on the doorframes, marking it as clear.

The halls were silent. The pristine white walls showed no sign of life, or death for that matter.

A noise up ahead had Bear freezing, hand held up, ordering a stop. The sound grew closer, stopping just out of sight from where Bear stood. She lifted her foot and brought it down in a rhythmic pace, never moving from her spot.

It must have been enough for whoever was on the other side because seconds later a group of six or so men came out from behind the wall, guns raised and firing at the Seals before them. Bear’s team reacted immediately, weapons firing off round after round. Seconds passed and the group before them lay dead, bullet holes pock-marking their bodies as the floor was slowly stained crimson.

Flare led the next advance, stepping over the blood to avoid a trail, and rounded the corner, Raptor close behind her.

They continued on. Taking out small roving groups of sentries, but nowhere near the amount expected for a warlord and a weapons dealer to have on their staff. The air in this lower level was frigid, a result of the generators being forced into action. It made the environment just that much more unsettling.

Beads of sweat rolled down Bear’s spine, soaking into the material of her pants as she swept yet another room. Her nerves were fraught with tension, each hair on the back of her neck stood on end at some unknown feeling that raced down her spine like a gust of wind. Something was about to happen, what it was, she didn’t know. But she couldn’t let herself get distracted. “Bear,” Flare whispered from her left.

“What?”

Flare held her thumb up, a look of curiosity on her face. She was silently asking if her commander was alright, having picked up on the unsettled nature of her commanding officer and based on their conversation before leaving, the younger woman was concerned.

Bear merely nodded, her mind elsewhere as she spoke with Shrike over the coms, confirming her Lieutenant’s location. “Shrike says that there seems to be a reinforced door near them. She suspects al-Hameed and Khrushov are holed up inside but is waiting for us before proceeding,” Bear spoke in a low voice.

A tap to the back of her vest made Flare turn, eyes narrowing as she followed the gaze of one of her soldiers. Behind a corner, she could just make out the face of a little boy. “Bear.”

The woman turned to look and her heart sank. al-Hameed had resorted to child soldiers. To her, that was the lowest of the low. Forcing a child to fight in a war fought between adults, exposing them to violence of this kind was cruel and unjust. All this did was ignite a fire in her soul, burning hot and bright, she made a silent vow to bring these horrific men to justice for their crimes. “Keep an eye out,” she said quietly. “We have to meet Shrike. Watch our six, Flare.”

The corridors passed in a haze of white polished metal. Nothing to distinguish one room from the next and it only added to the tension woven into the hearts and minds of the approaching Seals. They had come around a corner and Bear caught a glimpse of the US flag patch on one of the soldiers up ahead. She knocked on the wall twice, waiting for the answering taps and when she received them, Bear led her team around to meet Shrike.

“What’s the situation?“

“A camera through the vents says that both targets are inside, along with at least 30 men. All are armed,” Shrike informed her, having stepped closer.

Bear nodded. “Any children among the soldiers?”

“None that I could see. Why?”

“We had one following us a ways back. Unsure if they were a soldier or the child of someone inside the bunker, but I have two people monitoring,” Bear told her Lieutenant. “Do you have a plan?”

Shrike nodded and motioned for a few of her people to come forward so they could discuss their proposed method of entry. The conversation took less than five minutes and soon, everyone had their roles. Their targets were barricaded inside so they had to be quick.

Taking her position, Flare signaled to Chip, who gave the breach command. The explosives that had been set were detonated and stun grenades were thrown inside. The sound ricocheted off the walls, deafening anyone caught unprepared. This gave the Seals their advantage, they entered through the smoke, firing shots into those who raised weapons in attack.

Soon, Bear had al-Hameed bleeding out at her feet. Khrushov had been taken down as he tried to escape through the open door and his glassy eyes stared unmoving up at the ceiling. The scent of blood, smoke, and drywall mingled together, creating a suffocating cloud that had a few of the younger members vomiting. This was their first combat experience and they had done well, despite the brutality of the last four minutes.

Shrike met Bear’s gaze and nodded once. “This is Bear. The Snake and the Weasel are down. I repeat, Snake and Weasel are down.” Whoops from the other teams filled the ears of those still deep in the bunker, joy at having completed their mission. “Bring them topside. Keep your guards up. We have no idea who is still lurking.”

No sooner had Bear spoken those words when a hail of bullets were fired into the room. Bear caught six in her vest, the force knocking her down as she gasped for breath. Shrike had been able to get behind a knocked over chair, and was firing back, wincing as bullets tore through the upholstery.

Screams echoed and Bear dragged herself towards Shrike, grunting as she forced herself to sit up and return fire. “Bear requesting back up. We are pinned down!” She called through her coms, hoping and praying that Bug heard her over the noise.

“Rally! Rally!” Bear yelled over the noise, trying to regroup her team. Bullets flew back, halting the attackers’ advance as bodies began to pile up at the entryway.

Bullets ran low and Bear knew that her people were struggling to fight back. She patted her belt, hoping to find something, anything to help her team get out alive.

Nothing.

Not even a bandage to wrap around the gashes on her arm and the bullet graze on her hip. Bear’s eyes slipped shut and she let one tear fall. This wouldn’t be it. It couldn’t be the last stand. “Please…” she whispered as Shrike fired her last round.

“Get down!” Raptor yelled from across the room, launching a grenade out the door and into the hall. Seconds passed before the explosion shook the room, shouts of pain and the final prayers of dead men following in its wake.

And just as soon as the chaos had begun, just as soon as Bear had sent her prayers up to a god that may or may not be there, it stopped. Silence filled the air as Seals popped up from where they had taken shelter, slowly taking stock of weapons and casualties. Only one man on her team had been killed. A cluster of bullets littered his lower body, one having passed through the femoral artery. He’d bled out as suddenly and as violently as the attackers had appeared.

Bear’s heart sank. One casualty that she could have prevented. A man with a family lay unmoving, his uniform marking him as her soldier. A man who served with honor and pride. She made a silent vow to never forget him. “Let’s get out. Team 1 should be heading out again soon.”

===

The Seals had slowly left the compound; the bodies of their targets dropped unceremoniously in the sand in front of the landed Humvees. The fallen soldier, a man known as Wasp, was placed in a bag and laid in the vehicle, Flare choosing to stand guard over him. She would honor tradition as he had come from her team.

Bug and Bear met on the sand a ways off from the compound, exchanging a handshake and offering their sympathies to one another before they moved to organize the search teams.

“Okay. Listen up. Bug has informed me that her team has searched the upper levels and gathered the evidence they deem important for our purposes. Shrike will take a secondary team up to ensure nothing was missed before we send for the second round of pilots. Shrike, form your team,” Bear ordered, as she turned to inspect some of the papers collected from al-Hameed’s office. She had sent Raptor over to FAK almost immediately, the medic doing their best to tend to both him and Finch, who had been shot badly early on in the breach.

Minutes passed before a shout told her that the second search team was reentering the building. It gave Bear a chance to check in with the pilots. “Bear to Maverick, do you copy?”

“Mav copy.”

“Has Alpha team departed on the second bombing run yet?”

Back in Riyadh, Maverick leaned over to look out the window in the command tower. “They departed only a few minutes ago, should be over your location in a few.”

“Copy that. Thank you.” Bear returned to her papers but glanced up when she heard the roar of planes overhead. Since they had entered the compound, light was just beginning to creep up on the horizon once again, and Bear caught a glimpse of the four planes that raced by. She noticed that one was falling behind, almost like something on the aircraft wasn’t working properly. But she couldn’t be sure.

“Flyboy, what’s your ETA to target?“ Bear asked.

“Not too long now, Bear. About 45 seconds to drop,” Jake’s voice sounded over her coms. There was a tightness in his words, like he was focusing hard on something.

“Are you okay up there?”

Up in the sky, Jake swore under his breath, flipping switches, trying to figure out what wasn’t working properly. “Just peachy, Teddy. A couple of lights are flashin’ but it’s nothin’ I can’t handle.”

Coyote was the next to respond. “Anything we can do to help?”

“Just keep going. I’ll be there soon,” Jake replied. “Just give me a few min-”

Bear’s mouth fell open as she watched the fiery tail of a missile ascend higher and higher until it made contact with the last plane. “No…” she whispered in shock. Her heart felt like it had been put in a vice, squeezed tighter and tighter until she was sure it would explode.

Her coms were a flurry of noise and panicked voices all speaking over each other. No one seemed to notice that Bear had sunk to her knees behind the Humvee, silent tears falling from her eyes as she watched the plane crash back down to Earth. Jake was gone. The man she spent so long denying her feelings for was gone. Taken from her in a singular moment that happened as quick as a breath.

She let out a single choked off sob, her hand coming up to muffle the sound. Nobody could know of her grief. This was personal, and she didn’t let personal get in the way of her job. She had to keep her composure, no matter how much her heart was breaking as she watched plumes of smoke rise up into the sky.

Nothing would change the fact that her Jake was gone.

===

A/N: I’m going to hide now. Thank you @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s and @dakotakazansky for proofreading.

Taglist: @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @footprintsinthesxnd @twsssmlmaa @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @eli2447 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @thegoddessc @sgt-barnesveins @taytaylala12 @urmom-999 @formulapierre @pinkpantheris @havlindzk @a-beaverhausen @alana4610 @killcomet @buxkybxrnes @topgunruinedme

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