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jacevelaryonswife · 7 months

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You got me losing control

You looked at him again, anxious, watching him approach cautiously until he shortened the distance between your bodies. “I want you tonight... if you want me...”

pairing: aemond targaryen x wife!reader

warnings: smut, p in v sex, english is not my first language. 3,240 words

aemond targaryen masterlist

Your marriage to Prince Aemond of House Targaryen was a blessing to your family. No matter how noble a birth or reputation was before Westeros, the union with a representative of royalty is the summit of relevance, respect and sophistication that a house can achieve — and that's exactly how you and your family came to be seen and treated in Kingslanding.

After the announcement of the engagement, certain rumors about the behavior and appearance of your betrothed stirred some concerns about your future and safety. Prince Aemond was a robust, polite, healthy young man and a prodigy in the art of swords; he was also a lover of books, history, philosophy and very reserved, especially after the incident. On the other hand, he was also described as easily irritable, intimidating, serious, silent, ruthless and deformed.

None of you were presented properly before the engagement, which made the following weeks strange, tense and reluctant, even if the effort to alleviate such a situation was mutual — shy and slow as well. You had not yet decided if he didn’t approve of your choice as his future lady wife or if that (contained, cordial and impatient) was just his way. Courtesy was not a problem until it became excessive as a barrier and you begged the Mother for unhappiness to cross your path. You were a lady more than suitable for a wedding, you considered yourself beautiful, polite and affable within your own limits, any Lord would be more than graced to have you by his side, according to your lady mother, and so you expected your new husband to find it.

Everything seemed to go well in the following weeks after the wedding. Even reserved and mysterious, Aemond was kind, attentive and worried about spending some moments of the day with you beyond duty, the construction of intimacy and trust was still slow, but quite satisfactory — in addition, your dresses and jewelry were more beautiful and extravagant than those of the other ladies. However, there was something that terrified you and your husband from the tip of your toes to the last hair: bedtime.

It was infinitely the strangest and most tense situation that your relationship with the prince experienced. You learned that even in moments where his were nervous and not knowing how to act he would still try to maintain the imposing and ruthless posture, but with easy-to-read nuances that revealed that he hadn’t idea what was happening. The consummation of the marriage was the worst physical pain ever felt in your life, although fast, it was extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant. The second night he bed you was even shorter, as a knock outside the shared room in the service of the queen hindered the hardness of his sword. Already the third time his own virility failed and served to create worrying thoughts about your lord husband's lack of interest in you. What if your appearance didn't please he? Or your inexperience? He was also inexperienced, it couldn't be that.

Everything got worse when your moon blood came and the realization of not being able to generate a fruit with his seed left you highly distressed. What if everything got worse after that? Rumors would certainly circulate about the prince's unfit wife and your fertility would be put in check. Such moods were enough to keep you disturbed, sad and ashamed by the previous and present days of your moon blood, until things suddenly changed when the week passed and the way your husband looked so tempting during the sparing session with Sir Criston Cole made an avid heat bloom all over your body. It wasn't even that warm in Kingslanding but he has never been more handsome and virile before, with his silver hair flying through the courtyard and his clothes leaving his delicious defined body even more manly.

What was going on with you?

You knew that the only thing in your mind was that you couldn't wait to have him alone later.

And that's what you did when you left dinner earlier and have a bold and daring bed linen along with loose hair for your husband. The cream-colored dress was made of the finest silk of lys and fell slightly through your body with long sleeves that didn’t close in your arms and left them exposed when moving. You were with your back to the bed and facing the door, anxiously waiting for the arrival of your prince.

You felt a restlessness composed of warmth and desire to go through your body and focus on your femininity in the eagerness for his touch, from the hands exploring your body, your breasts, for the intimate and carnal connection to be consummated. The reason for that was strange to you, since the other times you were together were nothing short of uncomfortable, but who were you to define the plans of fate?

Therefore, when the door opened and Aemond came across his beautiful wife in exquisite and suggestive clothes, his good eye widened more than usual. He closed the door and remained still, impeccable posture and half-open mouth. Your gaze faltered and faced the floor in the following moments, keeping the room silent for long seconds until the courage inflated your lungs and a request for low approach escaped from your lips.

"Can you come here, husband?" You looked at him again, anxious, watching him approach cautiously until he shortened the distance between your bodies. “I want you tonight... if you want me...”

An intense look and a stronger pull of air were the prince's physical response, remaining almost static in front of him. Would it be reluctance or surprise? You didn't want to be pessimistic.

In fact, for a moment Aemond forgot how to pronounce any kind of words and form sentences, totally surprised by your newly discovered boldness. It was a fact that the least developed pillar of your union was the moment of bed, but he thought that time and reading on the subject would enrich the occasion. But not that way, not with his little lady wife looking so tempting in her soft clothes.

The prince was oblivious to what he considered depravity. His only experience with a lady wasn’t planned and appreciated by him and the option to protect himself for his future lady wife was chosen. Unfortunately, the negative side of keeping inequity out of his life was to arrive at the moment of bed without knowing how to give pleasure to his lady correctly. He hated to see the discomfort stamped on your beautiful face every time he pushed his member on your walls, especially in the first copulation. But here he was and there you were willingly giving yourself.

Your steps were smooth and decided in his direction — although there was fear of being renegade — stopping when your hands landed on the chest covered by the black layers of his tunic. "If you don't want to, I'll understand," no, you wouldn't, you would freak out, but it was your duty as a lady and wife to comply with your husband.

Meanwhile, breathing seemed more difficult every second when he noticed the intensity in the way you watched him, a warm and lustful intensity that no other lady ever directed him. He was being cooked inside his own clothes in an almost maddening fire.

"I want this, lady wife," his voice was a few octaves more serious than usual, his good eye so attentive to your gaze that it seemed to pierce your soul.

Only that confirmation made nectar leak from your flower in anticipation. You didn't want to waste any more time, leaning against him, one hand remained on his chest while the other went up the uninjured side of his face, not wanting him to feel cornered.

“May I kiss you, husband?” You asked in a lascivious voice.

“Yes,” he whispered, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding the left side of your face.

The meeting between your lips was calm (inicially), firm and intimate. There was no previous shyness whenever a kiss happened, no, it was incisive, dominant and became increasingly ravishing and warm. There was urgency in the physical search for each other, making the kiss last longer than any other ever exchanged. It was everything you ever wanted it to be, as natural and ardent as a real dream. But it wasn't enough to satisfy your desire for him.

Moving away from your husband's silky and pink lips, you were quick to announce your next wish: "take off my dress, please, I want to do it the right way today."

The usual blue iris was nothing but a memory dominated by the darkness of his pupil. Aemond's large hands landed on your shoulders to slide both straps of the dress to the sides, removing the fabric accumulated at your waist to the floor, exposing your body in full vision to him.

You were burning, longing so eagerly to be touched that you didn’t want to wait for the prince's excessive chivalry and anticipated unbuttoning his tunic without noticing the approach of his hands on your breasts, making you sigh pleasantly in the massage received. It took a lot of effort to keep undressing your husband and not succumbing to his touch on your soft flesh, almost tearing off the piece and throwing it on the floor.

It was not appropriate for a lady to be desperate for such an activity, so even though you wanted to give the same fate to the pants that hid the modesty of your husband, you restrained yourself by analyzing and strumming his delicious abdomen and chest, touching his sculpted shoulders and long arms. His appearence was ridiculously ethereal and perfect.

“Take me Aemond, I need you,” you begged before capturing his lips again, moaning softly when he growled at your mouth and squeezed your ass with one hand and held the part of your head with another, feeling a growing hardness pressing against his stomach.

“I need to prepare you first, my lady,” he whispered hoarsely, now holding on both sides of your hips and looking away shamelessly to your femininity.

Maybe if it weren't for your rush you would have enjoyed a different pleasure that night, with your husband's lips pressed on their petals, but you still didn't know that. However, what he referred to earlier was already understandable to a lady like you.

"No need, I'm ready," you took his hand and guided him to feel your sticky folds, rubbing your juices gently on his thin fingers. After that you didn't spare time to get on the bed and wait for him, who was very quick to discard his shoes and pants to reach you with ferocity. Gods, what was your misdemeaning behavior doing to him?

The prince breathed heavily as he reached your body only to be rotated on the bed so that you would assume him as a mount. “I would like to try otherwise,” you said it with even heavier eyes, putting your hands on his chest to settle above his groin, his virile and thick masculinity rubbing against your mound, making both moan and hands fly at your waist when you rubbed your folds on him.

You have never seemed more tempting than now, with your beautiful body to total contemplation and disposition and so needed by the union of a man and a woman. It was said by Grand Maester Orwyle that ladies usually behave differently after moon blood and can become demanding about their husbands. Aemond properly interpreted the connotation used by the older man, but did not imagine that it would be such a drastic and needy requirement.

And then, deciding to end your suffering, you sat on the bulbous and reddish tip of your prince's sword, ignoring the initial pain and closing your eyes as you felt him stretch your walls so well in an overwhelming and indescribable feeling. "Oh, Aemond!" A breathless moan escaped when it reached his groin after long seconds. The extraordinary pain recurrent at other times was nothing more than an old ghost when you slid easily on its axis, moving up and down in an experimental and tasty constancy.

Aemond tried to keep his usual stoic feature but it was absolutely difficult when your velvety walls made him feel so good. With his mouth ajar and a heavy look, Aemond squeezed his waist in his clamor for him, taking a deep breath with the sloppy and needy rhythm that you established next.

You didn't know if you were doing it the right way, but you really appreciated the feeling of his thick and soft sword brushing against delicious places in your soft flower. It was good enough to make you moan continuously and scratch the milky skin on his chest.

Hoarse and strangled sounds were released by him during the shock of your hips, closing the good eye to focus on not ending early. He was still stunned by the walk of things since his arrival at the shared cameras — positively stunned. He never imagined that fornication could be so delicious for both of you.

Your eyes opened when your body signaled fatigue from the exercise in question, causing you to reduce your jumps and lean against his abs, almost lying on Aemond when purring so that he would take a position above you. You are not sure if it was the fluidity of the movement or the pressure on your thighs that persuaded your senses to the speed with which he took control and stayed on top, face closer to yours than before, almost making your lips brush. Before he could think about moving away, your arms wrapped around his neck and maintained the proximity between your faces. You wanted to kiss him, or rather, you wanted him to kiss you passionately.

“Kiss me, my dragon.”

The restraint that imprisoned Aemond's wild nature broke with the nickname he received and made him capture your lips in a dominant and fierce kiss, the kiss you've wanted so much since you woke up that day. His hips began to move against yours in a much more fluid way than the other times, fucking you with deliciously intense impulses, without roughness or softness.

He started another wet and sloppy kiss, sucking your lips before sinking his face into your neck and growling against his skin, then planting kisses. “Are you enjoying it, my lady?”

“Y-yes, my prince, yes, go faster!” You moaned and supported your legs on his waist, letting out an almost small scream when the speed of your impulses increased, numbing your senses. The nervousness of bringing pleasure to his wife was dissipated when all he could feel was the constant friction and the way you squeezed him so well.

Flying in wet and pleasurable clouds, you gently held the back of his neck and sneaked to smell his soft and well-groomed silver hair, purring with the addictive and extremely refreshing musk. His heart warmed timidly with your intimate gesture, caving your beautiful face with one hand and touching his foreheads to make love to you in such a unique and vehement way that it made your toes curl and a feeling bloom inside, developing with each push of his hips.

"Beautiful," he uttered contemplating his face kneaded with pleasure, "you're fucking beautiful, my lady wife."

“Really?” You knew it was, but you wanted him to affirm it from his own belief.

“Yes, a lot,” He was fucking lucky to have you. He should say that.

The tingling inside increased with his confession, building something you hadn't felt yet. Was it your dreamed apex germinating? The feeling that your friends elected as the best of all Westeros? He captured your mouth again in a firm but sloppy kiss at the same time, swallowing your lascivious moans and whining intensifies with each roll of hips.

His pleasure also became difficult to ignore, although he was proud that the act was being more profitable and lasting than the other times. Profitable? No, I was delusional.

The connection between you became steamy every second, causing your future supplication: "continue husband, please don't stop."

There was a certain affected region that made your fingers squirm and gasps of pleasure fill your chambers (and maybe even out of them). The recurrence with which Aemond brushed against that point amplified your pleasure and anticipated the hot euphoria that took over your body, making your sight clear and legs cage him when your high came devastatingly good and strong, causing tremor in your limbs and an absolute squeeze in your cunt around his masculinity.

It was the best thing that has ever hit your body in fact, and that caused the release of his seed on your core in erratic movements and an erotic grunt. The nature of the sensation seemed primitive, it was primitive, as a need that needed to be satiated more often. Your bodies were sweaty when he fell to your side with his eyes closed from recent pleasure, bubbling in deep flames like the Old Valyria.

A more than satisfied smile adorned your face with how indescribably good you felt. Not only physically, but your husband's performance softened part of your fear, only one part, the other unfortunately ascended in equity and sowed doubts in your heart. What if the sweetness in his words was only in the heat of the moment? What if he doesn't think you're pretty?

After a moment of comfortable silence you decided to risk it in a low, almost weak voice "... did you really mean those things? About my beauty?" Gods, you didn't want to look pathetic.

And he didn't want to be an absent husband. "Yes," he confessed in a hoarse and soporific voice, almost ashamed of his attitude. "I'm sorry I don't say that as often as you deserve to hear. You're breathtaking, ma'am." His good eye filtered all the reactions from your face carefully. “I'm very lucky to have you by my side.

And nothing was more radiant than your smile when he heard such loving and beautiful statements, daring to snuggle against his chest even though he had a thin layer of sweat. "Your words are nothing more than kind, my prince, I am very grateful to hear them," you began, "you are also a very handsome man," you smoothed the bruised side of his face with the palm of your hand, not getting close to the scar to scare him. "Almost ethereal if I may say," your face was close to his, looking tenderly before leaning against his lips in a chaste and soft kiss.

Compliments directed at appearance were never true to Aemond. Not that he received them too much after the incident, but all the rare times were false, regrettable and uncomfortable. His abilities made him a man safe enough not to care mostly about his deformity, however, in his interior of steel and fire there was a fraction that longed for genuine kindness.

"You are very kind, my lady," he said softly, his voice almost breaking, "did you like what happened?" The thought was almost all verbalized at once, taking not only you but also him by surprise.

“A lot. I liked it a lot, Aemond," you purred against him, feeling your interior warm and vibrate again. "If it's not inappropriate, I wish we could do it again."

That would be a long night...

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taglists:

general: @chompchompluke @fan-goddess @kravitzwhore @partypoison00

ewanverse: @aemonds-fire @partypoison00 @schniiipsel @fan-goddess

aemond: @aemondsblog

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond x reader #prince aemond targaryen #aemond one eyed #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x you #aemond smut #aemond targaryen x wife!reader #aemond x wife reader #wife reader #smut

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yongility · 2 months

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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 2/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k? (I really went all for this chapter)

a/n: I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind I had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I’m sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it’s because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N)'s life is before they get together! So pls pls don’t skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

Jung Jaehyun was an idiot.

But he was a clever idiot, and anyone who knew him would know that.

That's why within Neo Zone, his boss had the trust he had in him. Jaehyun was his best guy, or at least that's what he proclaimed enthusiastically every time the boy handed him a new payment for the merchandise he had to sell in his area.

None of his guys were as good negotiators as Jung Jaehyun.

He didn't know if it was because of the particular and convincing way he spoke or if it was because of the bad boy appearance he had, which made people pay him everything they owed him with just a bad look from him. Jaehyun didn't consider himself good at many things, but he was definitely good with numbers, maybe because since the initiation of his gang almost eight years ago, his only job was to maintain the sale - and sometimes purchase - of merchandise. So the numbers always, always had to be exact unless he wanted his boss to get angry and face consequences.

Because despite being a good worker, Jaehyun had faced consequences on multiple occasions.

His scars around his body were not a deco. They didn't have the purpose of scaring away anyone who stood in front of him. They had a slightly different origin than most people thought. Yes, some were the result of a street fight that possibly took place in one of the underground races. Perhaps from a fight against another dealer who tried to sell in his area, but many of them were caused during his early years in the business, where being a kid with little knowledge of how to handle the merchandise he carried with him, things would go wrong and he had to be punished by his own boss and the elders of the gang.

As he often heard during those years, he learned the easy way or the hard way.

Jaehyun's initiation into the gang was different from what other teenagers in Neo Zone had experienced.

In his own defense, he never believed that his initiation had been extreme compared to the experiences he had heard about, however, Jaehyun had to join the gang at the age of eleven.

Normally initiations took place between fourteen and fifteen years old, but there was an exception with the boy. Families in Neo Zone had to have at least one active member in the gang - commonly the man was that member - and it didn't matter if it was the grandfather, father, or son. There always had to be one if they wanted to continue with the safety of their family.

Because being active ensured you the protection that Lee Sooman could offer your family.

So when Jaehyun's father was brutally killed in what they called a clash in a raid. The next member of the Jung family had to take his place, and being Jaehyun the oldest brother and becoming the man of the house, he had to answer for the protection of his family, at his young age of eleven. The boy's duties initially did not involve business as such, since he was still inexperienced in the matter, but Lee Sooman took him under his wing and managed to get Jaehyun to accompany him wherever he was to start acquiring the knowledge he expected to have thanks to the experiences he had with his new boss.

But there was a time when Jaehyun had other aspirations.

There was a time when Jaehyun appreciated getting up to go to school to learn, not to keep his business running. There was a time when the boy could approach his mother while she cooked, sing together, and dance with his little brother happily.

There was a time when Jaehyun loved to sing, and all those little things that brightened his life even a little were damaged by the businesses he was starting to manage.

Because by now, Jaehyun wouldn't just be a dealer.

Lee Sooman expected a lot from him.

And he hated that he did.

If only he could escape from that zone, he would do it as soon as the first opportunity arose, but things weren't as easy as he thought.

And he knew that more than anyone else.

In the end, the only reason for his mere existence currently and the only reason he endured all he had to endure was for his family, which meant everything to him. It was all he had, it was all that drove him to continue, and it was all that gave him the strength to get up every day.

And because he was the man of the house, right?

And he had to take care and protect his family even if he didn't do it with his own life.

But maintaining that title wasn't easy, especially having a rebellious teenager as a brother and having to take care of all the bills that ran through his house.

If only his brother could make things easier for him. If only his brother would listen to him once in his life... because if there was one person who didn't listen to Jaehyun, if there was one person he found difficult to intimidate, it wouldn't be anyone other than Jeno.

And amidst all his complications, there would be no greater one than trying to make a teenager listen to him.

The streets of Neo Zone are not safe at any time of the day, but of course, they would be even more dangerous when the sun set. Jaehyun, as much as he wanted, would never understand why fate gave them that life, if only... if only they had been more fortunate and even just grown up in Kosmo*, his life would be so different.

Jaehyun hated walking the streets of Neo Zone, especially if it wasn't for business, but there he was, walking through the dark alleys that were barely illuminated by the reflection of the moon that had recently filled. His steps were short but firm, as his personality used to be. His leather jacket covered him well from the cold breeze he could feel in his bones, and the rings on his fingers helped him stay focused as he ran his thumb over them. In the distance, within an alley, he could see a pair of cigarette tails being lit as smoke emanated from the mouth of the person consuming it. Jaehyun took a deep breath as he disapproved and approached the group of boys more and more.

Immediately he could recognize him, that blue hair couldn't go unnoticed even if he wanted, what a bad choice his brother had made.

Once he found himself at the entrance of the alley, he grabbed a stick from what once seemed to be a baseball bat and, taking advantage of the distraction of those boys, he made it hit against the garbage container next to him, causing the boys to jump in fright and change their gaze towards him.

Meanwhile Jeno maintained eye contact.

"Let's go," Jaehyun snapped without hesitation.

Jeno's friends and his own brother ignored him and continued with their business, Jeno taking a drag of his joint and exhaling the smoke from his lungs with a cynical side smile. His friends let out a laugh that made Jaehyun's blood boil, and he hit the garbage container again - "I said let's go, Jeno."

His brother huffed as he rolled his eyes: "Go bother someone else, Jaehyun."

The boy clenched his jaw and, dropping the stick from his hands forcefully, he then approached the group of boys and seeing the determination with which Jaehyun walked, the boys stepped back a few centimeters, Jeno stood up and held his gaze firmly on his brother's.

When Jaehyun reached him, he snatched the joint from his lips and threw it to the ground to then step on it. He raised his gaze again and looked at the boys, who were behind his brother with a bit of panic in their eyes.

"What are you looking at? Get out of here if you don't want me to wipe that scared puppy look off your faces and give you real reasons to be scared," he snapped brusquely. The boys simply shrank in their place, not moving an inch - "Haven't you heard me? Get lost!"

This time, the group of young vandals hurriedly left the alley, leaving both boys facing each other, staring directly into each other's eyes and without saying a single word. Only annoyance could be felt emanating from each of their bodies.

"What the hell are you doing, Jaehyun? Can't you go bother somewhere else?" asked Jeno, exasperated.

"You didn't go to the school," his older brother replied with no expression on his face.

Jeno let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head amusedly - "Is that why you're here? To make a scene because I didn't go to the school?"

"I put all my damn effort so you can attend that school, and the least you can do is not skip," he said while pointing a finger at his chest and pushing him forcefully - "And what do you do all damn day, huh? This?" - he pointed at the joint that was now shattered under his foot - "Hanging out with those boys and wasting your life like this?"

"You're no better," Jeno retorted.

Jeno had had his initiation into the gang not long ago. Two years ago, when he turned fourteen, and since then, Jaehyun had managed and had done everything possible to keep his boss from involving him in any business, and to be able to maintain that, his workload had increased, since now he had to do what Jeno would have to do, because definitely being a dealer with no future was not something Jaehyun wanted for his brother. He knew Jeno was smart. He knew Jeno had the potential to be someone in life.

To have a future away from Neo Zone.

Not like him.

And the last thing he wanted was to see his brother being an addict in the alleys of Neo Zone.

"I just care about you," Jaehyun said quietly.

Jeno looked at him with his eyes reddened by the substance he had just ingested and clenched his jaw after hearing that.

"You care about me? You do the same fucking thing every day. And let me tell you that you're not just an addict, you're a damn dealer. Congratulations, you bring money to the table! But at what cost? You talk about caring? You ruin other people's lives," Jeno spat as he lightly pushed him.

Jaehyun wished he could say that those words didn't hurt him, but it was impossible. After all, they came from the mouth of his little brother, who was one of the lights of his life.

"Jeno, we're not going to argue about this," Jaehyun said as he felt his rings and ran his thumb over them "but this is not what I want for you, you have more future than those boys you hang out with, Jeno. You have more future than me. It's just that you don't want to see it... this... this is not what I want for you. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life on these damn streets looking for pleasure in some damn drugs and I don't want to see you overdose. For now, it's weed, but if you don't know how to control yourself and don't know how to handle it, it won't be just that. You're not a child, Jeno, and you should know that your actions have consequences."

"Why do you talk as if you were a saint, Jaehyun!?"

"Because I damn know what I'm talking about !" the older one exclaimed, about to explode and giving him a stern look - "Jeno, you need to understand that this is not what I want for you."

"If this is not what you want for me, why don't you do something better than getting into my damn life? Why don't you start with yourself, huh? How do you expect this not to be part of me if you have mom and me in this shitty place?"

"I'm trying, Jeno... I..."

"Trying? How? By selling more kilos every day? That doesn't help at all, Jaehyun! Why don't you do something else? Why didn't you get us out of here when you could?" he questioned as he approached him again until they were face to face. Both with a firm gaze, without hesitating and without flinching.

"Oh, I know," Jeno muttered - "you don't do shit because you're afraid of ending up like poor Sicheng, right?" - he blurted out.

And that was the last straw.

By inertia and upon hearing that name, Jaehyun's arm lifted and went to punch his younger brother's cheek, causing the area to immediately turn red and Jeno's face to move to the side. The blue-haired boy brought his hand to his cheek and slowly returned his gaze to his brother, finding a bit of regret in his eyes.

"Don't ever mention Winwin like that again," Jaehyun requested without moving.

"Fuck you."

Jeno lightly pushed Jaehyun and walked briskly out of the alley they were in.

And then Jaehyun found himself alone with regret running through his body.

If only things were simpler.

_____________________________________________

"Did you go to Neo Zone!?" Jungwoo's exclamation made (Y/N) jump in her place and quickly approach him to cover his mouth with her own hands while giving him a stern look.

"Shut up, Woo, my mother can hear you!" she retorted almost in a whisper but agitatedly. Then she removed her hand from the boy's mouth and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Are you crazy? What were you doing there on a Friday night?" he asked, accusing her. They remained silent for a few seconds, then Jungwoo jumped on the bed and looked at her in surprise.

"Who are you fucking and why didn't you tell me anything!?”

(Y/N) widened her eyes and quickly shook her head.

"None of that! God, Jungwoo, you're an idiot," she lightly tapped his head with the palm of her hand.

"I'm not seeing anyone."

The boy rubbed his head with a small pout and then looked at her curiously.

"So?"

"It was for Daeho," the girl declared.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes dramatically and stood up from the bed to stand right in front of her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Now, what trouble did that idiot get himself into?"

With a heavy sigh, the girl looked at her hands and slightly shrunk in her place. "A big one, Jungwoo. You should have seen how he came home on Friday."

"What happened?"

"Well, what do you think happened? The idiot bought drugs and didn't pay on time. And to make matters worse, he decided to buy them from Jaehyun and made him go to Neo Zone. Apparently, his boss got angry about the debt, and believe me, he was very angry."

"And what have they done to Daeho?" he questioned her again, this time with concern in his voice.

"They beat him up, Jungwoo. He's covered in bruises and they've split his lip and eyebrow," she explained frustratedly.

"Was it Jaehyun?"

"Huh?"

"Did Jaehyun beat him up?"

"No. No, Jaehyun was with me when that happened," she commented while sighing. "But I don't know what to do, Jungwoo. I'm really worried about Daeho. I'm afraid something like that might happen again and it'll end up worse."

Jungwoo looked at her in silence for a few seconds and then sat back down beside her, taking her hands in his and giving her a slight squeeze as a show of support.

"(Y/N), I know it's not my business and you're worried about your cousin, but Daeho is not a child anymore. You can't go through life trying to fix his mistakes. He knows what he's doing, and he should know the consequences behind it," he explained gently. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to dispel the knot that threatened to form.

"I know, Jungwoo, it's just that..." she paused to take a breath, "I'm all Daeho has. I'm the only person who genuinely cares about him. The least I can do is be there for him," she bit her lip.

"And there's nothing wrong with that, really. But you can't always be by his side, hoping he won't get into trouble. Daeho needs help, yes, but he needs it from a professional before his drug problem becomes a serious one," Jungwoo affirmed, letting go of her hands and putting his arm around her shoulders to give her a slight hug.

"Do you think I haven't mentioned that to him? He doesn't want to listen."

"There's not much you can do on your own, (Y/N)."

It was then that the girl preferred not to say anything and just accept the hug her friend was giving her; because she knew that as soon as she mentioned that she had made a deal with Jung Jaehyun so that he wouldn't sell anything to his cousin again, Jungwoo would surely go crazy.

So now she not only had to hide this from Daeho but also from her best friend.

It couldn't be that difficult, right?

___________________________________________

If there was another place Jaehyun hated besides Neo Zone, it would be the principal's office. He wouldn't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times he found himself in that same position, sitting in a leather chair, with Principal Kim in front of him giving him a disapproving look.

"I can't do much this time, Jaehyun" the principal spoke and removed his glasses from his face to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "if you don't improve your grades, I'll have to expel you. I don't have any other excuse not to do it."

"But you have to do something" Jaehyun retorted, raising one of his eyebrows and crossing his arms, causing the principal to clear his throat and rest his glasses on his desk.

"Jaehyun, I can't keep covering up everything you do and don't improve even a little. The teachers don't want you here anymore, and if you don't raise your average, there's nothing I can do.

The boy sighed heavily and bit his lower lip. Then, the image of a Hwang came to his mind, and he smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, Principal Kim. For the next evaluations, you'll see my average clean," he explained with a smile.

"I'd like to know how will you do that?" the principal asked, incredulous.

"Studying, Principal Kim. How else would I do it?"

The principal chuckled and shook his head.

"You're warned, Jung. Now, leave my office and go study."

Without saying anything else, the boy got up from his seat and calmly left the principal's office, crossing the hallway until he reached the courtyard of his high school. He looked around, getting a couple of glances from some of his classmates, who surely weren't used to seeing him leave that office once again and as soon as his eyes located a person,

Jaehyun smiled.

He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and walked towards the silhouette sitting under a tree, with at least five books around her and taking notes from each of them, and in which she must have been very concentrated not to feel the presence of the boy a few steps away from her. Hwang let out a heavy sigh and then cursed under her breath, dropping one of her books to the ground abruptly.

"Having a hard time, angel?" he teased while leaning against the tree behind her.

The girl quickly lifted her gaze to then look at him with annoyance and closed one of her books abruptly.

"Don't bother me Jaehyun. I have no interest in having a small talk with you right now," she said, rolling her eyes. "How do you expect me to finish all your assignments and mine before the week ends?" she asked, frustrated.

"Speaking of that, I expect a good grade on those assignments. The principal has already talked to me about kicking me out if I don't meet the average this evaluation," he said, shrugging.

"If only you bothered to study from time to time, you wouldn't have these problems," she retorted reading her notes.

"Why would I do that when I have you, sweet cheeks? Business are business, besides, I've been keeping my word" he said proudly. "How long has Daeho been clean?"

(Y/N) fell silent, thinking of a response, and answered, "almost two weeks, I believe so."

"Do you think it'll last much longer?' he asked again, and she shrugged.

"I hope so, he promised," she muttered without looking him in the eye. Jaehyun sighed and moved to sit next to her, an action that confused the girl, but she didn't comment, she simply let herself go.

A consumer's promises were the worst, and they both knew it. Despite the fact that Daeho didn't consider himself merely an addict... he was. In recent weeks, he was more often in a state of euphoria than sober, and the fact that his parents had been away for over a month was a perfect excuse to do so. Hwang feared for him and feared a lot. What Daeho saw as something harmless kept her in constant unease, because she knew that Daeho wouldn't stay clean for much longer, and there wouldn't be anything else she could do.

"At least you're the only dealer he trusts to buy from," she scoffed, shaking her head.

Jaehyun laughed softly. "You know that as soon as he feels the need, he won't only come to me. Abstinence tends to be difficult for a consumer."

"I know.'

"And what will you do? Offer more money?'

"I don't know, Jaehyun," she replied with a tired tone. "I don't know what to do with Daeho, I don't want him to end being a mess."

To the eyes of an outsider, that scenario could seem a bit funny; Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same place without wanting to pull each other's hair out, but if there was something that had caused that conversation in Neo Zone two weeks ago, it was that Jaehyun had managed to empathize at least a little with the girl. At the end of the day, all they both wanted was the best for their families.

They weren't so different in that sense, however, they didn't share anything else. They were simply acquaintances with a common purpose and nothing more.

"The evaluations are coming up, you know what that means?' he asked suddenly.

"What? do I have to do twice your assignments?" she replied with another question, and Jaehyun shook his head with a half-smile.

"Johnny's parties are also coming up, and it's something you should keep Daeho away from. You know his parties are not the healthiest and most innocent thing out there."

Johnny Suh was well known in high school for two reasons; first, because he was the son of one of the best real estate sellers in the city, making him one of the wealthiest kids in high school, and second, because of the study groups he organized near each midterms on one of his properties.

The study group that was nothing more than a facade for the big parties they really have. Every two months, students eagerly awaited that party because with Johnny Suh organizing them, how could not be the best? When it came to those parties, Johnny spared no expense, he would take one of his parents' properties, buy tons of alcohol, invite the dealers from Neo Zone, and didn't care if you were from the south or north, you were welcomed all the same because according to his own words: the more people attended, the better the fun.

And yes, it was something (Y/N) should be worried about, because Daeho could never miss one of those parties. Johnny Suh was within his circle of friends, so he wouldn't dare to let down one of his great friends, how could he?

"Cat got your tongue?" Jaehyun's voice caught her attention and she turned to look at him while exhaling deeply.

"No, Jaehyun, and I'm not in the mood for this."

"Oh, relax, angel" he spoke, raising his hands in defense "I was just mentioning Johnny's party, you know Daeho wouldn't miss it" Jaehyun continued trying to rile her up.

"Great timing for my uncles to return" she muttered, angrily gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She stood up abruptly and Jaehyun followed her.

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?"

"Daeho's parents are coming back during midterms week and they'll surely having him running around here and there, enough reason for him to go to that damn party" she spat, starting to walk away from him with Jaehyun behind her "and as soon as Daeho stops being clean, I'll break our deal" she threatened, turning around to face him.

"You can't do it if I haven't done anything, you made the deal, you keep it" he said defensively. It wasn't the time for him to risk it and not deliver those high grades to Principal Kim.

"Yes, I can and I will, Jaehyun."

"We made a deal, you can't back down now. I'm already losing money because I'm not selling anything to Daeho".

"I can still write you a check down" (Y/N) said.

"I think I made myself clear when I told you that I didn't want your money".

Ding.

Before the boy could reproach and start an argument with (Y/N), his phone rang in his jacket and he took it out of his pocket to turn on the screen and read the text his friend had left him.

“Yukhei:

come to the garage, something happened.

10:30 am

Don't ask, just come.

10:30 am

I don't even know what happened

but they're furious.

10:31 am”

Jaehyun looked up at the sky, cursing under his breath and closing his eyes. He returned his gaze to the girl, who was now looking at him with confusion, and pointed at her with his index finger.

"I expect my assignments by the end of the week" he commented, turning around to walk away from the place and leaving a frustrated (Y/N) behind.

"Hey! Jung Jaehyun!" she called out loudly "You can't just leave me like this! Hey!”.

_____________________________________________

When he reached the garages, Jaehyun got out of his car, slamming the door shut, immediately drawing Lucas's attention. Lucas was sitting there smoking a joint, one leg propped against the wall and one hand in his pants pocket. Jaehyun approached his friend and took the cigarette from his lips, then took a drag himself.

"What the hell happened now?" he asked, exhaling smoke from his lungs and raising an eyebrow at Lucas. His friend sighed and straightened up.

"Jeno".

With the joint between his lips, Jaehyun's eyes widened, he tossed it to the ground, stomping on it, and quickly took a step forward, only to be stopped by his friend, who placed a hand on his chest. He looked at Lucas, not understanding and showing no expression, then listened to him speak.

"Before you go in there and cause a scene. I don't know what happened. Cheol Uk wouldn't tell me shit, he barely said something had happened with Jeno and they're waiting for you inside" the dark haired guy explained, lightly tapping his friend's chest.

Jaehyun's chest swelled after the deep drag he took. He closed his eyes for a moment and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing it slightly.

"Do you know if he's okay?" he asked, opening his eyes and met with a grimace on Lucas's face.

"Honestly, I don't know".

One of the garage doors opened, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it and seeing Cheol Uk coming out of it, nodding towards Jaehyun to enter, so the guy began walking towards there with Lucas behind him, who was immediately stopped by the guard who put his hand on the boy's chest: "I've been told that only Jaehyun can enter."

Jaehyun turned his head to give Lucas an affirmative look, who breathed deeply and stayed in his place. Jaehyun walked through the garage door, which closed seconds later, and headed towards where his boss was supposed to be.

His head was spinning, and only his brother's name ran through it. What the hell had he done this time?

He didn't even know if he was okay or where he could be, and that was eating him up anxiously.

Despite everything that could come out of Jeno's mouth and his rebellious behavior, as an older brother, Jaehyun worried a lot. Jeno was an important part of his life, and as soon as something happened to him, he wouldn't know what to do. He began playing with the ring on his hand as he continued his way, managing to hear a couple of shouts that he knew well, came from his boss; he clenched his jaw, he was right behind Lee Sooman's back, who, feeling a presence, turned halfway, face to face with the boy.

He approached dangerously. Jaehyun held his breath and suddenly, a burning sensation ran through his cheek, feeling his boss's palm hit him. Jaehyun didn't flinch, didn't complain, and simply did nothing.

He knew it was better that way..

He stayed in his place, straightened his posture, and continued to look ahead, but without making eye contact with Lee Sooman.

"Do you know what your brother's little joke has cost us?" the man asked with annoyance.

"No sir".

"A lot. Your brother is an idiot, he couldn't do something as simple as what I sent him to".

Jaehyun's body tensed, and this time, he made eye contact with his boss.

"What... do you mean you sent him to do something" unintentionally, the tone of his own voice rose, catching his boss's attention "I thought we had a deal, boss."

"Are you talking to me about deals, Jaehyun? Look, the kid came to me asking for a job, and I really admire your whole facade of wanting to feel like the responsible older brother who doesn't want anything to happen to his brother and blah, blah, blah" his boss spoke mockingly "but the boy isn't five years old, Jaehyun. It's time for him to be a grown-up, isn't it? Turn him into one, just like I did with you, right? Look at the man you are, boy".

He felt the falseness in his words, and the sound of his laughter irritated his ears, but again, he said nothing, he knew he shouldn't, and simply stayed in his place to continue listening to him.

"But Jeno and his idiot friends go and screw it up, and now it cost me money and a possible fight. Aish, they can't do anything right if you don't teach them" he muttered the latter.

The boy's brow furrowed and followed his boss's silhouette as he walked to his desk.

"A fight?"

"Yes, I sent them to leave some stuff at the train station, and they ran into Yellow Wood's guys, they stabbed one of the boys. Ah! Park will surely want to do the same" Lee Sooman sighed as he brought his hands to cover his face "and if that's not enough, the Yellow Wood guys stole the stuff, and believe me, they weren't just a few wones worth in drugs. There were a lot.

"Sir..."

"Don't try to cover for your brother, Jaehyun. He made a mistake, a big one, and now, who will pay for it? I'm sure Jeno won't."

"Excuse my brother, sir. I... will talk to him, for sure..."

"A talk won't solve my problem. I need my money, or what? Where do you expect me to get paid from? How do I pay my guys for their work? If there's no drugs, there's no money, and you know it, Jung."

"Sir, please let me do something. I... don't have the money right now. I'm paying for his medicine and..."

"Oh, Jaehyun, don't give me the same old story. Those damn medicines don't matter to me. I've helped you enough with that boy, and I know the whole story inside out and upside down."

Jaehyun's fist clenched at his sides, and he closed his

eyes for a moment, avoiding exploding right there.

"I'm sorry, sir. What do you want me to do?"

"You'll take double of the stuff on Friday when you pick it up. You'll have the weekend to sell it and deliver it to me by Monday, and let's see if you can teach that idiot brother of yours how to handle the business properly once and for all."

The boy's eyes widened, double of the stuff in one weekend? He had been struggling to make ends meet with his normal portion, and now he had to sell double in three damn days. If Jeno was okay right now, he surely wouldn't be after the scolding Jaehyun was going to give him.

"But sir, the business has been slow these days, and..."

"I don't care, Jaehyun. I don't give two shit about how you get that money, but I want all my stuff sold by next Monday, understood? If you don't deliver the money, there will be repercussions, and no, they won't be on you, Jaehyun. It's been Jeno with all this bullshit."

Without saying anything, he nodded. He supposed he would have to ask Johnny for a favor at his party; it was the only place he thought he could sell at least half of what he owed. As for the other half... he would figure out what to do with it later.

He watched as his boss pointed to the door with his hand, and Jaehyun obediently turned around to leave the place. The blood was rushing through his body, and he clenched his fists tighter and tighter as he moved.

His brother was such an idiot.

Not only had they lost the stuff, but they had also stabbed one of the Yellow Wood boys, and he knew they would come back looking to do the same. What guaranteed him that one of these days his brother wouldn't come back with a wound like that? He let out a sigh as he opened the garage door. He saw Lucas quickly approaching him, but he didn't pay the slightest attention to him because he was too busy storming towards his car with fury in his eyes.

His friend tried to stop him, but he couldn't, so he simply followed him. Both got into the car. Lucas heard the slam Jaehyun had given. He started the car without answering the questions the guy in the passenger seat was asking and drove off at speed towards his house. Lucas kept calling him, but it was in vain because Jaehyun could only think about how bad the conversation he had to have with his brother would go. The older boy's knuckles could be seen white from gripping the steering wheel, and he could hear him cursing every now and then. Lucas gave up and sighed as he leaned back in his seat; it was pointless to try to talk to Jaehyun when he was behaving like that, so he simply wouldn't bother anymore.

A few moments later, they were in front of the boy's house, where the older one quickly got out of the car, and Lucas continued his steps behind him.

"Jaehyun! What the fuck happened!?" Lucas shouted at his back, and again, he didn't receive an answer.

He aggressively entered the house, slightly alarming his mother, who was in the kitchen and, seeing the way her son had entered, left things and approached him.

"Where's Jeno?" he asked without preamble.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned.

"Where's Jeno?" he repeated, clenching his jaw.

"In his room" she didn't even finish speaking when Jaehyun was already walking towards the door, she turned worriedly to see the boy beside her and spoke: "Yukhei, what happened?"

Jaehyun opened the bedroom door with a bang and found Jeno sitting on his bed, with a bruise under his eye and his lip slightly open. The older brother exhaled deeply and approached his brother, who was already standing up and naturally, defensive.

"What the fuck do you think you did, Jeno? Huh?

"Stay out of my damn life, Jaehyun. I'm sick of it" Jeno spat as he walked towards him.

"Oh, are you sick of it?" Jaehyun asked "Wow, the little boy is tired of me only wanting what’s best for him" he said, feigning a pout "Do you know the stupid thing you and your friends did?" he questioned again as Jeno pushed him slightly with his shoulder and walked out of the room. Arriving in the living room, where Lucas was trying to distract their mother —"Not only did you lose the drugs, Jeno. You stabbed someone from Yellow Wood, do you think that's something funny to do?"

"What? Drugs?" Mrs. Jung asked confused.

"Shut up, Jaehyun" the younger one spoke through his teeth.

The boy looked at his mom and then at his friend, scoffed, and denied as he once again approached his brother: "Jeno went to Sooman to ask for a job" he confessed as his mother exclaimed in surprise "and now I have to answer for the stupid things your son did".

"Stop treating me like a damn kid!" Jeno exclaimed as he pushed him slightly, managing to anger the older one a little more.

"You want me to stop? Huh?"

"Jaehyun, Jeno. Enough" their mom intervened from her place, causing Jaehyun to turn to look at her and shake his head.

"No, Mom. Jeno doesn't want to be treated like a kid anymore? Fine. Does he want to ruin his life? Fine. If the boy is old enough to make decisions for himself and get into things he has no fucking idea about; let him. I don't give a shit anymore. I already have enough responsibility for this house as it is for him to come and add more".

Silence fell in the living room, with Jaehyun and Jeno staring directly at each other. With their mother leaning on Lucas, who was supporting her, and Jaehyun could only catch between his ears, the boys' accelerated breaths in front of them.

"You have no idea what you're getting into, Jeno. Do you think it's easy to go out there with that stuff and sell it like chocolates? What are you going to do when you don't meet the quota? Huh? Will you take responsibility and face the consequences? Ah, right. You're not a child anymore, and you don't need me. So if something happens... Don't you dare come running to me, because if you have the balls to get into this shit. You'll have the balls to solve your problems. Once you enter in this shitty hole, there's no way out" he ended slowly as Jeno widened his nostrils. He turned around and left the house with a bang, making his mother jump in her place, and with tears shining in her eyes, she moved away from Lucas to approach her older son.

"Jaehyun... "she murmured as her son enveloped her in his arms and hid his head in her chest "he's still my baby" she sobbed.

Jaehyun looked at his friend, who only gave him a sad smile and lightly patted his back, silently demonstrating the support he would always provide.

"I know, Mom. Jeno will be okay" he replied in a whisper as he stroked her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head "I promise you that someday I'll get you out of here, even if I have to stay behind"

His mother raised her head to look into her son's eyes, and a tear rolled down her cheek: "Jaehyun, I can't take this anymore. You're my children, I don't want to see you both ruined, I can't" the boy choked up and once again caressed her hair.

"I'll get you out of here, someday I'll be able to do it, including him. I'll get all four of us out of here, I promise you".

His mom nodded with another tear running down her face and pressed her lips slightly. Jaehyun moved away from her and moved towards Lucas, to nod his head indicating that he should accompany him out of the house. Both boys walked in silence towards the door, where they were stopped after hearing the words that came out of Mrs. Jung's mouth.

"Don't end up like your father, Jaehyun."

The weight those words carried was something the boy couldn't believe.

Because that was something he wasn't sure he could promise.

______________________________________________

Once her uncles set foot in the city, it would be total chaos. It was something that (Y/N) knew, something she was aware of, which was why she simply hated the thought of it happening for two simple reasons: first, because then she would have to be even more attentive to her cousin and his possible impending collapse due to the pressure his parents put on him as soon as they arrived in the city.

And second, because their arrival meant a family dinner at her house; which had no other result than to talk once again about the future that awaited both of them and the vast comparisons their mothers loved to make between them, creating an endless discord: to see which family had more than the other, or to allude to who had a better present and future than the other.

At her ripe eighteen years, (T/N) never managed to understand the dynamics of her family. Were all families like hers? She didn't understand why her father and uncle had this constant competition between them; as brothers, it was the last thing they should have. Did money eventually turn you into such a person? Was it something that Daeho and she would become when they were responsible for the companies? She couldn't wrap her head around that scenario, the last thing she would want is for there to be some kind of conflict between them when they both needed each other, both had each other's backs, and both were the support for each other.

What a great family environment existed in that residence.

And if she could add a third reason: it was that she hated having to behave like the perfect daughter everyone expected her to be.

Coincidentally and to her own misfortune, the dinner at her parents' house was on the same night as Johnny Suh's party.

One more concern to her list.

With the faint reflections of the moon on her room and the gentle breeze coming through her large window, she gave one last careful look in her mirror, observing her figure wrapped in a black dress that ended just above her knee, a white and fluffy sweater that covered her from the coolness of the night, and her platform boots that complemented the style of the rest of her outfit.

She sighed... approached her dresser, picking up the first pair of earrings she saw to put them on her ears and let out another sigh. She never understood the formality of dinners at home, in the end, it was just her parents, her two uncles, Daeho, and herself who would end up sitting at the long dining table, but what she did know was that if she dared to come down with any outfit that didn't please her mother enough... she would instantly make her go back to change her clothes to something more suitable for her... or for them rather. Because according to her mother; you never know who the next person you might meet is.

Yes, even in her own home.

Where there wouldn't be more than six people.

She had tried multiple times to get in touch with Daeho since early in the morning, as soon as she had found out that her uncles' flight had arrived, however, he didn't answer her calls or text messages; which was enough to make (Y/N) nervously bite her nails. Something that had her tired, she was tired of living like this, worrying about everyone but herself, but if she didn't worry about her cousin the way she did, who would?

She was well aware that Daeho was not a child of five years to be in charge of, but sometimes she felt like he was. With the little attention he received from his parents and all the attachment and emotional dependence he had developed towards his cousin, (Y/N) had no choice but to fulfill that role, but... how much more would it consume of her?

She was grateful to have Kim Jungwoo in her life; the only sincere friend who had crossed her path. False friendships that could arise around her were no surprise to the girl: status was everything. If you wanted people to see you well, recognize you for something, and not sideline you, you had to hang out with people of your same level. (Y/N) tried to remember all those times she tried to create friendships, but ones that were sincere, each of those times ended in a failed attempt when she realized that people didn't really care about her but the great dollar sign that pursued her as if it were an ornament.

What a fake life.

That's why the affection she had for Jungwoo was immense. The only person who gave herself the opportunity to get to know her without judging her, the only person with whom she didn't have to maintain a whole facade.

She hated pretending; everyone thought she was perfect, that her life was perfect, the presentation she always carried was perfect, they even thought her family was perfect; she had spent the last few years of her life trying to keep up appearances, continuing with the facade that her parents and uncles had created and if Daeho screwed up, it all fell on her, because she was the one who had to fix it, because she was the one who had to assure everyone that everything was fine in her family... because if she let her guard down and showed her reality; the dream world that the Hwang family had invested so much in pretending would come crashing down like a freshly kicked sandcastle.

And so, seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours and when she least expected it, she found herself uncomfortably seated between her mother and Daeho, with a plate of food that, for the moment, didn't look appetizing at all and with her leg bouncing slightly from the anxiety emanating from feeling the tense atmosphere she was wrapped in.

Her mind was elsewhere. The last thing her ears had captured was the conversation her uncle had created about his recent trip to New York, where he had signed a couple of agreements and where... she couldn't remember anything else.

It reminded her a lot of her childhood, where they would both sit for hours beside their parents listening to them talk about business, money, agreements, and a thousand things that at her age they wouldn't understand but that according to their parents, getting involved from an early age in the world they lived in would help them shape their future.

In a way, she felt like her childhood had been stolen. Instead of being able to go out to the huge yard of her house to play like any normal child, she had to stay inside to attend one of her mother's arranged classes for her. Instead of listening to a story that her father had to tell her before going to sleep, she found herself with the stories he told her about "how he became the successful businessman he was and how she had to do the same" or the times when they always wanted to include her in the adult world when she was barely in elementary school.

But she never complained... at least she had a family and a roof over her head, she convinced herself of the luck she had of being born into the family she had... a total privilege.

When she lifted her eyes from the fixed point they had been pinned to, she could notice out of the corner of her eye how Daeho simply limited himself to eating in silence, nodding from time to time and feigning a smile here and there, moving his cutlery slightly and taking small bites of his food.

At least she wasn't the only anxious person at the table.

Her gaze lifted when her name came out of her mother's mouth, who was watching her expectantly with a smirk: “Isn't that right, sweetheart?” her mother inquired.

“Hmm, excuse me?” she questioned with a small voice as the adults' gazes were fixed on her.

“Oh, sweetheart, it's disrespectful not to pay attention to the matters discussed at the table” her mother gave her a fake smile that simply made the girl change her gaze to her hands resting on her lap and tilt her head in apology, causing her mother to let out a snort that was only heard by her “Your uncles and we have been talking about the fact that Daeho and you are about to graduate, we believe it's time to start looking at which universities you'll get into” her mother explained, staring at her intently “although, personally, your father and I have had this whole life plan we created for you since you were seven, remember we talked about studying abroad?

“Oh! We also want our Dae to study abroad! We had thought about Oxford! Isn't that right, honey?”Daeho's mother spoke with enthusiasm addressing her husband, who only smiled as he nodded.

(Y/N) and Daeho shared glances for a couple of seconds, precipitating what was to come, and smiled sadly at each other.

“Umh, mom? I don't think this is something we should discuss right now... there's still a little time before we graduate. I don't think it's a... necessary topic right now...”

The girl was interrupted by a gasp from her mother, who looked slightly offended and placed a hand on her chest, shaking her head from side to side.

“You say there's still time? (Y/N), you graduate in a year, do you think that's little time? We should start looking at universities, especially if we want to send you abroad.”

Taking a breath in surprise, she spoke: “Mom, abroad?” the girl let out a sigh “I don't think it's necessary, I mean... Seoul has incredible universities and curriculums, it's not necessary to go far from home...”

“Seoul?” her mother asked incredulously “Do you think I, your mother, will send you to some mediocre university in Seoul? You must be crazy if you think you'll end up at any of those universities” she continued with contempt “You, miss, will get into an Ivy League university, like your father and uncle did and there’s no other way.”

The table fell into a small silence, where only the looks of Mrs. Hwang and (Y/N) were shared intensely, when slightly the voice of Daeho's mother was heard:

“Well, we also have to see if she's capable of passing the exams first, don't we?” she said quietly before delicately wiping her lips with the cloth napkin on her lap.

The gaze of (Y/N)'s mother abruptly changed to the other woman, who only smiled sideways in a mocking tone and feeling her cousin's body tense beside her, the girl's anxiety shot up a thousand miles per hour anticipating what was to come.

“What did you just say?”

“I think you heard me right, sweetheart. We must see if my niece really has the ability to pass exams as important as those of the Ivy League, because believe me, dear” she changed her view to the girl “it's not just going, sitting down, and looking pretty as you've done all these years.

It felt like a punch… right into her face.

Was it really like that? Did her appearance speak more than the effort she had put into her work for so long?

Was that how they really perceived her?

She knew she had much more to offer... why were they reducing her to just that? She was dedicated, she was responsible... wasn't all her effort worth it?

Wasn't it enough?

“I think you're the least qualified person to talk about children, Eunji” (Y/N)'s mother attacked “Daeho is no delicate flower, the disaster he is when you don't pay attention to him...”

The eyes of the mentioned boy widened and immediately (Y/N) dropped her hands on her table and got up from her seat.

“Mom! Stop this” the girl exclaimed.

“Do you think I'm going to let this woman come to my house to talk about you and my family like that, when we welcomed her with open arms?” her mother reproached, standing in front of her.

“You don't have any right to talk about mine either” now Eunji joined the conversation.

“Oh, come on, Eunji, stop being so blind and realize the kind of son you have.”

Daeho didn't need to be there anymore, which was why he fleetingly got up from his seat and without saying more, left the house with more haste than his cousin had ever seen. (Y/N) dropped her cloth napkin on the table with noticeable annoyance to try to go after her cousin, it was when her mother took her by the arm, squeezing firmly.

“Don't you dare set foot outside this house.”

She didn't know if it was the anger running through her veins or the tiredness of always wanting to do what her mother thought was right; but she didn't need to think twice when without looking back she went out the large door of her house, taking the keys to her car on the way. Her throat felt weird, she didn't want to waste a single tear. She shouldn't. With her hands slightly trembling and biting her lip, she took her cell phone and pressed a couple of numbers on it, waiting for the other line to answer.

With heavy breaths and sitting in the driver's seat of her car, she listened to the rings her phone produced and when she finally heard a response, she spoke quickly:

“Jungwoo, I'm sorry for calling late, but there’s a party we need to go”.

_____________________________________________

The scenario in which Jung Jaehyun found himself was not unfamiliar to him. His ears had been ringing from a few meters away before he arrived at one of the Suh residences; with Wong Lucas by his side and stepping out of his own car: a BMW M2, a car that he had won from a rich kid in one of his many bets a few months ago, thanks to his luck and his driving skills.

And since then, it had become his favorite car. Luckily, he could occasionally take it to his friend Taeyong's workshop to make some adjustments and add a couple of details to make the car even better.

Entering the mansion, he could see some familiar faces a few meters away from him. Some greeted him warmly as their dealer was just entering, while others tried to avoid him like the plague. Either way, Jaehyun didn't care how they looked at him.

He came with a single purpose in mind.

It was incredible to see how much someone like Johnny Suh could invest in one of his parties: it was crazy to see how he splurged everything for a simple night. However, that was his perfect hook for his businesses, and if he had to give double the money to Sooman by Monday, he had to get started right away.

Without exchanging a single word with Lucas and lightly taking him by the arm, he brought him closer to the wall; from his pocket, he took out a couple of small bags and immediately handed them to his friend, who only nodded, understanding everything and putting what Jaehyun had given him into the pockets of his jacket. They hugged with a quick pat on the back, and again, without saying anything, they separated.

Observing the environment cautiously, Jaehyun went into the luxurious house, trying to blend in with the people there. His ears were still ringing, and the smell of marijuana reached his nose. He inhaled subtly and relaxed his posture when Johnny Suh's figure stood in front of him.

"Jung Jaehyun!" the guy exclaimed, opening his arms. "Welcome to the Suh residence, my favorite dealer. What do you have for me this wonderful night?" he asked curiously while waving his hands.

Jaehyun put his hand in his pocket and carefully showed him the contents he had there, causing Johnny to smile ecstatically.

"Half or an ounce?" Jaehyun asked, putting the small bag back into his jacket.

"An ounce, my friend."

Friend, surely.

"You know how much it is," Jaehyun said as he took out the small bag again and placed it in the guy's hand, receiving a 50,000 won bill in his other hand in return. "Dude, I don't have any change with me," he warned.

"What are you talking about, Jae? Keep the change and enjoy the night. The drinks are by the kitchen, take whatever you want, and if you happen to go up to any of the rooms, don't forget to lock it," he patted his chest with a wink from his eye and left his sight without saying more.

Even with a bit of evident surprise on his face, he tucked the bill into his wallet and continued on his way; it would be a long night, so why not have a little fun while selling all his stuff?

He didn't know at what exact moment his first drink of the night ended, nor did he know at what moment he found himself among a circle of people who had bought at least a quarter of what he needed to sell, nor did he know at what moment his hand ended up on the waist of a girl who was looking at him while batting her eyelashes at him.

He knew better than anyone that it wasn't time to get drunk, especially with the heavy merchandise he was carrying with him, but how good it felt the slight dizziness that passed through his head, the weed made him momentarily forget everything. When he was younger, he had sworn he wouldn't fall into alcohol so easily, but it was a temptation that was hard to resist, and eventually, weed also helped. For a moment, he could be himself and forget everything at home, in his neighborhood, at work.

But how hard it was when all that effect wore off and he became simply Jaehyun again, the number one dealer of Neo Zone.

His eyes momentarily diverted from the girl in front of him, watching as at the back of the room there was a Yellow Wood guy; one of the gang his brother had gotten into trouble with, selling a package similar to the ones he was selling to none other than Hwang Daeho.

He didn't know what had come over him because clearly it wasn't his problem, but slowly he left the small group he was in, hearing behind him how the girl he had spent the whole night with called him while he ignored her, heading towards the two young men.

"Hey, Chris," Jaehyun greeted with a serious expression. "Don't worry, I'll take care of this guy."

"Oh, Jung, don't get involved when I'm finishing a deal," the mentioned one responded as he pocketed the bills Daeho had given me. "Don't think we've forgotten about the little show your brother and his friends put on a couple of months ago on the train tracks."

He clenched his jaw and could feel Daeho tense beside him. "It's not like I'm going to forget that you're dealing and doing business in Neo Zone territory either, go back to your city and sell there," the tattooed guy explained as he dangerously approached him.

"Look, Jung, the last thing I want tonight is a fight, so stop getting in my way," Chris replied as he walked away from the guys.

When they were alone, Jaehyun stood in front of Daeho and stretching out his hand, he spoke: "Give me what he sold you."

It wasn't his problem, so why was he doing this? He hadn't sold him anything, so he hadn't broken any deal.

Was alcohol playing tricks on him, making (Y/N)'s face appear in his mind? Daeho looked at him without understanding what he was asking for, and that was enough for Jaehyun to let out a heavy sigh to repeat: "Give me any crap that idiot sold you."

"Look, Jaehyun, I don't know what's going on, and if this has to do with buying from someone outside your area, I'm sorry, but dude, you haven't wanted to sell me anything in the last few weeks, and I can't go a single damn day without getting something else," Daeho explained, putting the package away in his bag and refusing to comply with what Jaehyun had just asked.

"I don't give a damn that you can't keep your damn body clean, but apparently, your cousin does care, so give me that," he demanded again.

"What does (Y/N) have to do with all this? Are you fucking her or something?" asked the boy in front of him with annoyance, and now that he paid attention, his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

He didn't have time to deal with a junkie right now.

"Go ahead, champ. Go keep putting that crap into your body, I don't want you crossing paths with me all night," Jaehyun requested, touching the bridge of his nose, feeling Daehyuk getting closer to him.

That guy had courage out of nowhere.

And that's what a substance can do for you.

"I remind you that you're no better than me, you consume it and sell it."

Daeho stepped away from him, leaving him alone and causing him to clench his fist. He was tired, tired of remembering every minute of his life how messed up it was. Did he have another option? No, he didn't have any other option, right now, it was either to sell all that heaviness in the pockets of his jacket or risk ending up on Monday with a beaten body and having to hide it from his mother.

The night was still young, and he had to end up with those empty pockets. He just hoped Lucas was doing his part correctly.

____________________________________________

Jungwoo was next to (Y/N); it had been a while since he and his friend went out partying, and although clearly, she wasn't there to have fun, she wanted to make the most of the night.

The girl next to him scanned the room for any sign of her cousin, but there was no trace of him. The familiar faces of her classmates ran through her mind, and she was starting to feel overwhelmed.

"(Y/N), I know you're worried about your cousin and all that," heard her best friend's voice above the music, "but I also know you need to have some fun. Why don't we do that? It's been a while since we've been to a party; we should make the most of it, and then later, you can kick Daeho's ass."

"I don't know, Woo."

"Look, the same pressure Daeho says he feels is the same pressure your parents put on you, and after the scene they made today at dinner? Don't you think you deserve a break?"

Jungwoo approached the table where a couple of drinks were, quickly preparing a paloma for his friend and handing it to her after finishing it.

"Let's enjoy the night, break away from your home, and be yourself. Not the girl your parents expect you to be, not the girl your business expects you to be. Just the teenager you are now, just that." The girl, although not very convinced, nodded and then took a sip of her drink, feeling that Jungwoo had put more alcohol than soda in it. The boy laughed at his friend's reaction and hugged her by the shoulders.

"Alright, let's have fun tonight."

(Y/N) had never been a big fan of alcohol, especially beer. If she occasionally enjoyed a drink, it was usually some kind of elegant wine that her father had in the mini wine cellar at home; some kind of Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Grigio... however, tonight, the acidity that ran down her throat every time she took a sip of her commercial beer was a feeling of ecstasy.

She didn't know if it was because Jungwoo's words were really resonating in the back of her head, where she remembered that, right now, what she needed to do was relax and distance herself from her family. Because she deserved it. So she wasn't sure when she lost sight of her best friend during the night, maybe it was sometime around eleven or twelve at night when Jungwoo left her side; nor was she sure when her head started to feel light after the third beer, but she was sure she was starting to lose count.

Normally, it was always Jungwoo and (Y/N), stuck side by side and never separating, which is why, at that moment, it was strange to see the girl around classmates, with whom she rarely engaged in conversation, but she truly didn't care in the state she was in, because she was having a good time, and especially because a nice guy, whom she didn't recognize, was making her laugh like she hadn't in a long time.

Her phone felt heavy in the small bag she was carrying, especially because she was aware of the numerous calls and messages she had been ignoring from her mother since she had arrived at the Suh residence, and although she knew she should answer those calls, she firmly believed that she didn't want to deal with her and her father.

For now, she just wanted to be a girl having fun and forgetting about everything else.

The image of Daeho had been temporarily erased from her mind a while ago, but at some point in her night, the doubt of whether Jung Jaehyun had attended the party had arisen.

Still, she couldn't see him.

Amidst all the numbness her mind was going through, she didn't notice when subtly the guy she had been talking to for an hour moved her away from the group of people they were with. Chris, she remembered his name, had a slight grip on her waist; something she hadn't paid the slightest attention to.

"Why are we moving away?" (Y/N) asked in a sleepy voice, letting herself be guided by the steps the guy took.

"Oh, I just thought it would be good if we moved away a bit to talk more. You know, we can get to know each other a little better," the guy responded, causing the girl to overlook the hint of malice that came out of his mouth.

"But we were fine with the others," she dragged her words as she tried to move away from Chris's grip on her body. "Where's Jungwoo?" she asked when her inner alarm went off.

"He must be around here somewhere, don't worry; we'll look for him later," he replied as he gently brought his lips to the girl's ear and then moved them to her jawline. "Let's have a good time for now."

A light kiss was planted there, and it was then that her senses returned coldly, and all the dizziness she had previously experienced disappeared slightly; putting her hands on the guy's chest to push him away abruptly.

"No, I don't want to look for him later. I want to go with Jungwoo now," the girl demanded after her failed attempt to push him away.

"Calm down, Hwang. You've been practically all over me all night; it's not time to start playing hard to get, is it?"

"What are you talking about, idiot?" she questioned sharply and tried to push him again; she looked into his eyes with anger and could see in them the way they were droopy, slightly bloodshot, and that's when she could gather who this guy was and what he did with his lif “let go of me now or...”

"Or what? Stop pretending to be a fucking innocent; it doesn't suit you," he said as he, again, brought his mouth to the girl's neck.

And surprised by the strength she found in that moment, with a strong push and after struggling, she was able to push him far enough to release a punch that went straight to his jaw.

"You damn bitch," the guy spat, letting go of her and grabbing her face.

"That would be the last time you touch me, and get that if a girl says no, it's because she means no."

"You'll regret it, you fucking bitch."

With her heart pounding in her chest and her mind still accompanied by a slight dizziness, she began to move away from the guy and the dark hallway she was in. It was difficult to walk when her legs felt shaky from the scene she had been involved in; she scolded herself mentally for drinking the amount of alcohol she had drunk, knowing well her low tolerance to it.

She looked for Jungwoo with her eyes, and it was difficult to find him when her vision was blurry. She wanted to get out of there. She wanted to do it now.

What an idiot Chris had been. She hated it when men looked for things that weren't there. She had never hinted that she wanted anything, nor that she wanted to get away from the group. She felt dirty to remember where his hands had been. How his fingerprints felt on her skin and how she wanted to hit him again in his stupid face.

She felt something strange in her chest, she didn't know how to explain it; it was a combination of anger and vulnerability she was experiencing. The slight distress she felt there could be noticed on her face, surrounded by so many people under the effects of who knows what substance, feeling her body reacting slowly and not knowing where the hell Jungwoo had gone.

When she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her steps, she feared it was Chris, who had gone after her. And with her breath caught in her throat, she turned around to find a pair of eyes that took her by surprise.

"Hey, are you okay, Angel?"

She thought it was the first time she was glad to see Jaehyun.

It wasn't weird seeing Jaehyun in Johnny's house, she knew he's use to come to this parties at the end his presence was required if her classmates wanted to have a good time. What it was weird to her a that in the last two weeks he has seen Jaehyun more often that her own cousin, that always seemed to have an excuse to avoid her.

She didn’t know if it was of the dizziness she was feeling or what, but Jung Jaehyun looked good. All dressed up in black leather, with his neck tattoo decorating his body and his pulled hair back. She must be really fucked up if she was thinking in how hot Jaehyun looked.

But that wasn’t the case right now, she needed someone because she couldn’t trust herself in that state.

And right now, among all the people inside the residence and adding that Jungwoo was nowhere to be found, Jaehyun was the only person she could rely on.

Could she really?

She thought there wasn't much difference between Chris and Jaehyun. In the end, they both did the same thing. Sure, in different areas, but their lives revolved around similar things; situations, people, experiences.

"I... I don't know where Jungwoo is," she clumsily said.

In her voice, Jaehyun could notice the slight clumsiness in tone, realizing that the girl had been drinking, approaching her delicately, now he could see the expression of concern on her face.

"And then that idiot of Chris," she continued with a disgusted face, and upon hearing the mention, Jaehyun defensively turned to look at her.

"Has Chris approached you? Was it something about Daeho?" he asked quickly.

(Y/N) nervously bit her lip to avoid the boy's gaze and again put her gaze on the hall where they were.

Where the hell was Jungwoo?

"Shit," the girl blurted out when she realized, "Chris sold something to Daeho, didn't he?" Seeing the expression on the boy's face, she knew the answer. "Damn it, I'm so sick of this," she said as she put her hands on her head. Her breathing quickened, and she felt her hands trembling. "What the hell do I have to do for Daeho to stop this nonsense? I came here to find him, and then Jungwoo thought it would be a good idea to have fun," she spoke quickly, causing Jaehyun to only catch a few words. "I'm sick of my mom and my aunt arguing about which family is better, then Jungwoo disappears, and the stupid of Chris tries something with me”.

"What? Has he done something to you?" Jaehyun asked, surprised.

"What's the point of having this damn deal with you?" she ignored the boy's words and continued, "I know you told me that Daeho would find another dealer as soon as he wanted to use again, but I had hoped he wouldn't. Now I'm overwhelmed with my tasks and yours, that damn report I have to submit in four days, and my mind is stuck. I don't know what else to do to keep everything at one hundred percent, when I'm not even at five percent," she confessed without thinking, and when she realized what she had done, she lowered her gaze. "Sorry, I know you're not someone who cares about this."

She turned around without letting the boy say anything, and after walking a bit, she heard behind her:

"Come on, I'll take you home."

Her brow furrowed, and she turned to face the boy, confused, she asked, "Huh?"

"It seems like you've been drinking a bit too much, and Jungwoo is nowhere to be found, I'll take you home, even if your car is parked around, I don't think it's wise to drive like this."

"What about you?"

"I stopped drinking two hours ago," the boy replied simply, "let's go."

When Jaehyun started walking, (Y/N)'s steps became almost automatic; without thinking about where she was going or with whom, they only followed the silhouette of the boy in front of her without a word.

Perhaps a few seconds later, when she noticed she was in front of Jaehyun's BMW, her mind questioned what she was doing.

She hadn't made wise decisions tonight.

With her hand hesitating on the door handle, debating her actions and whether she should get into the car or not, with her senses heightened knowing it was Jung Jaehyun who, presumably, would take her home, and with the same, already inside the car, waiting for her to react and finally make up her mind; her body trembled.

The music from the residence still echoed in her ears, yet above it, she could hear Jaehyun calling her from inside... and then, without further thought; she got into the car.

The car, to her surprise, looked clean; the scent she could perceive from it was odd... like a combination of marijuana and vanilla, in smoky tones... and now that she thought about it of the few times she managed to be close to Jaehyun, that was the same smell she perceived, and she couldn't help but think it was a pleasant smell. Odd but pleasant.

Jaehyun knew where the Hwang residence was, he had been close once when he had to make some deliveries in that area; that's why he didn't need to ask the girl for any directions, besides he didn't feel like having a chat, especially with someone he doubted was in their right mind.

The first few minutes were silent, she could hear (Y/N)'s soft breathing above the sounds of his own car, and he hoped the rest of the journey would be like that; until she decided to speak: “do you use as well?”

Jaehyun was taken back for the sudden question and the he shook his head. “Sometimes I smoke weed, but that the only thing I use. I don’t like other shit, I might not be the greatest person but I appreciate my body” he said jockingly. It was weird seeing Jaehyun joking with her. “But really, weed is the only thing I like.”

“Doesn’t make you an addict?” she questions again.

“Don’t think so” he answers. “I don’t do it often. Only when I’m really stressed about something, I can control myself” he says and she stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.

“What's next for you?" She asked out of sudden again, making Jaehyun furrow his eyebrows while he kept looking at the road.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun asked without looking at her.

"It's the last year of school, do you know what's next for you?" (Y/N) asked again this time she stop looking at the window and she put his gaze in him.

Jaehyun scoffed "Do you really want to know?"

Did he really wanted to answer?

This is the longest talk they have ever had.

"I mean... I guess so"

The boy hated thinking about future. And now he hated even more because some preppy girl had to ask about it.

"I don't know" he said. "I don't think about future a lot if I'm honest" he didn't know why he answer though. He could just not say nothing if he wanted to.

"But you should" (Y/N) commented. "College is just around corner and there's a lot of options you should look up".

Jaehyun let out a laughter that left (Y/N) confused. Was he laughing at her? She tilted her head, she didn't know what was so funny.

"College isn't an option for me" he said as he stopped in a red light and then he moved his head so he could look at her. He didn't know why he was telling all of this. "There's no next for me after high school"

"You can't be serious" she mumbled. "There most be and option that can suit you"

"You don't know shit" he said and that alone made (Y/N) move in her sit a little bit uncomfortable.

"No, I might not but if you say that there's no other option for you... then I'm sorry, Jaehyun, I think I have to end the deal with you."

When Jaehyun abruptly stopped the car, he was glad that there was a red light at the traffic signal.

"What?"

"I'm tired of trying to help Daeho when he doesn't want to be helped," she confessed without even looking at him, "and... I think it's time to focus on me. It's too much work. Yours... mine... if I want to keep good grades, my assignments alone are enough, and if you don't have an interest in making something good for you, then I'll stop helping you out as well".

Jaehyun shook his head: "No, but I need your help. I can't fail. I can't be kicked out of school."

"I don't understand, Jaehyun," she said, changing her gaze from the street to the boy's eyes, "I don't understand why all this fuss about not being able to be kicked out of school if it’s because you don't want to ruin your business, not because you genuinely want to be better in your school life. You said it yourself, college isn't an option for you so, if this is only about your work I don't want to be involved or have any influence in something that is not legal".

Jaehyun's hands tensed on the steering wheel.

"You don't need to understand," he said as he moved forward at the green light, "they can't kick me out of school," he repeated firmly.

"Well, I'm sorry, Jaehyun. I made the decision. I appreciate the weeks when you didn't sell anything to Daeho, but even so, he finds a way to consume. It's not your fault. And I finally realized it's not my fault either. I also appreciate you taking me home, but after tonight, you'll go your way and I'll go mine."

"So you're okay with me being kicked out?" He asked with a side smile.

"We're not friends, Jaehyun" she stated. "We were just helping each other out. But if my cousin doesn't want to be helped, I don't need your help neither. I’m sorry if you needed mine but I can’t keep up with this anymore. Being involved with you was dangerous enough and I think it’s for the better"

It hadn't been long since the damn deal had taken place, but inside Jaehyun, he liked having an occasional interaction with the girl, especially if it was to annoy her... he found it funny every time she wrinkled her nose when she was upset with him or the way she tenderly rolled her eyes after he made a silly comment on purpose.

He might got used to her a little.

"I knew you rich kids weren’t faithful to your word" he said. "I guess I can't force you to anything," Jaehyun let out a sigh.

Another fifteen minutes passed in complete silence, with some discomfort on both sides. (Y/N) looking anywhere out of the windows but not putting her gaze on Jaehyun, and the boy was focused on the wheel.

Anyone who saw the scene would laugh to see two people as different as Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same car.

She was sure Jungwoo would laugh if he saw them.

Of course, after she kicked him a few times for leaving her.

She didn't notice precisely when they were entering her residence; it wasn't until the car stopped abruptly, and she could see through the window the immense house in front of them.

It was more appealing to stay in that car with the dealer than to deal with her mother.

"I guess it's time for me to go," (T/N) said, grabbing the car handle, "Thank you... Jaehyun... for bringing me, and I'm sorry I can't help you with your work anymore... but I can't do it."

The boy smiled slightly and adjusted his jacket as he shook his head.

"Take care, Angel," Jaehyun said and then said no more.

Jaehyun hadn't been a bad guy to her during the time they had agreed on the deal, however... for her own good; she hoped they wouldn't cross paths again, like it was before the start of the deal.

Jung Jaehyun was a dealer from the Neo Zone, and she had an image to uphold, that's why it was better for each to take their place.

But what was that she felt when she got out of the car and saw Jaehyun leave without even looking at her one last time?

a/n: taglist is open! thank you for reading! wait 4 the next chapter!

there’s a mention of Winwin, what could have happened to him?:0 idk, you might found in the next chapter, who knows?;)) I hope you liking this so far, sorry but I’m more into longer chapter than short ones. Love ya! Oh I’m also posting a Taeyong au later so check it out!

taglist: @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss s @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial

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mxmmyprentiss · 3 months

Text

I Miss You, I'm Sorry

Summary: Long story short, you survived without her. Her name had become a memory pushed and tucked away in the back of your mind. You locked it and threw away the key. You had stopped yourself from waiting for answers as to why she walked out on you or why she didn’t fight for you ages ago.

Well. Until now. Genre: Angst Pairing: Emily Prentiss x female reader Warnings: homophobia, parental abuse (?) Word count: 6.9k (I got carried away)

A/N: Hi, guys! I just made a new tumblr account and I'm new to Criminal Minds and I'm still actually just about to start season 4 lol but Emily Prentiss already got a chokehold on me and here I am. English is not my first language so any grammar/spelling/other writing mistakes, I apologize. I also have not written anything in a long, long time. Comments and criticisms are welcome.

(also emily's fbi timeline here might be a little confusing so idk lol)

AO3

Relationships don’t always work out. You have known that fact since you were seven years old as a result of your parents’ divorce. You still remember your mother saying, “Baby, sometimes love doesn’t last. Maybe it’s love for now but it won’t be love forever. Two people can grow apart even when they are together all the time. And that’s what happened with me and your dad. And honey, it’s not your fault, you understand?” And you still remember nodding as if you really understood what was happening.

But just like any other child who knew how it felt to be a product of a broken family, you still felt responsible about it. You could have done more, could have done something to prevent your family from falling apart, or at least could have done anything to stitch your family back together. But as you grow older, you learned that what if’s are only as good as heroin and cocaine combined together - it’s not. It’s lethal.

So even though your parents are still alive, you still considered them as the first ones you have lost. Accepting that has helped you cope with other things you have missed throughout your life..

Pen.

Hair ties.

Bus ticket.

Money.

Your first love.

The last one, unlike the others, was not forgotten, misplaced or stolen. The last one walked out of your life before you even had the chance to tell her you would move mountains and set the world on fire if she asked you to. What once were gentle, careful hands that held your heart are the same hands that crushed it into pieces and may have been impossible to glue it back together no matter how much you tried.

It’s fine though. It was a long time ago. You learned to live with it.

At least that’s what you told your therapist when she asked during one of your sessions.

“Come on, sugarplum.” Penelope Garcia, your roommate, tugged your arm. “It’s just drinks at the bar.”

“I’m already beat, Penny. I’ve had a long shift.”

“Exactly the reason why you need to get out and have fun, doctor. We were both so busy with work and never had fun anymore.”

“We have movie marathons sometimes.”

“Please,” Penelope scoffed. “You fall asleep in the first 30 minutes of every movie.”

You sighed. You didn’t defend yourself because it’s true. Lately, everything feels heavy. And you’re always exhausted to the point of passing out at any furniture you lay your head to.

“I’m sorry, Pen.”

Penelope cups your face and forces you to look at her. She has the most gentle, caring eyes when she wants it to be. Curious and determined, most of the time. “Hey, I’m not saying those aren’t fun, okay? I’m just saying maybe we need a change of environment. Get loose. Have a few drinks and maybe meet some people and dance. That’s all.”

“I don’t know these people,” you said defeatedly.

“And you don’t know your patients either but you’re forced to interact with them anyway.” Penelope squeezed your cheeks before letting go. “They’re my friends as much as you are mine, sweet cheeks. I’ll introduce you to them and who knows. You might end up liking them too.”

There’s no winning against your roommate. So you finally agreed and Penelope pranced to her room to change.

Since tonight seemed to be about changes, you decided to put on a skin tight knee-length blue dress that complimented your curves and skin along with a light denim blazer. You matched it with black printed flats and a purse Penelope gifted you last Christmas.

You and Penelope walked hand in hand to the bar. She told you briefly about everyone’s first names but you’re not sure if you will remember them all as you haven’t seen their faces just yet. Also, Penelope talks too fast when she’s excited and your brain just cannot process it as quickly knowing how tired you are.

You both stopped at the door, scanning the place and saw a booth on the far end of the bar. Penelope waved at the people on the table and everyone happily greeted Penelope. You felt a little at ease that they were all wearing casual clothes and looked a little less scary compared to what they actually do for a living.

“Everyone, this is my roommate, Y/N,” Penelope introduced you to the team. And pointing from left to right, she said, “This is Hotch, Derek, Reid and JJ.” They all waved at you. Reid stood up and shook your hand. He insisted you can call him Spencer and babbled something about an article he read the other day that he remembered because you’re wearing a blue dress. You stared at him, fascinated albeit confused. Derek chuckles and pulls Reid next to him.

“Hey, guys, here’s our dri-”

A pause.

A stare.

Your heart skipped a beat. Or two. Or maybe it stopped for God knows how long.

One of the glasses of beer almost fell out of the raven-haired woman’s hands. Luckily, JJ caught it, looking back and forth between the two of you.

“Emily, you are an angel.” Penelope snatched three glasses out of her friend’s hand. “Y/N, this is Emily.”

It took you a second - or ten - before you reached out your hand for a handshake and forced a smile. “Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” Your jaw started to hurt at how tight you’re clenching them but you can’t help it.

She’s here.

Emily took your hand and for a brief second, you felt her squeeze it harder than you would normally do for a handshake. “Emily,” was all she said and sat to Penelope’s right.

Everyone grabbed their drinks. The music at the bar grew loud and they talked even louder to understand each other. Derek and Reid debated about something work-related that you didn’t understand but Derek rolling his eyes at Reid whenever he stated facts amused you. Meanwhile, Penelope showed something to JJ and Emily on her phone and you just hope it’s not something embarrassing because you caught the glance JJ shoots at you and she giggled.

“What are you showing them, Pen?” you asked curiously.

“Nothing,” she grinned. “I’m just showing them how pretty my best friend is.”

You squint, not believing a word she just said. Your hands were quick to snatch the phone from her hand. “Penelope Garcia!” Even with the dim lighting, your blush was evident. It’s a photo of you sleeping in your kitchen, hugging a stainless pot and holding a wooden spatula. You don’t remember that happening. “When was this and why are you keeping this picture?”

Penelope laughed. “You don’t remember so I’m not going to remind you.”

You immediately deleted it off her phone. “Now it’s gone.”

She raised her eyebrows and let out a chuckle, “You forget I work in tech?”

You mumbled a curse and rolled your eyes, accepting defeat.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. It’s cute.” JJ teased and you could only force a smile in embarrassment.

Out of nowhere, Penelope gulped down her entire drink and stood. “Come on, let’s get dancing! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

Everyone followed her. Even Hotch who seems to not like the idea but Derek practically pushed him to the dance floor.

Everyone except Emily.

Her.

And you.

You two were left at the booth, sitting across from each other. Emily was gripping her glass. Hard. You believed she might break it if she didn't relax.

You averted your eyes from Emily. It’s ridiculous to not find anything to stare at other than Emily’s hands.

Emily’s beer.

Emily’s hair.

Emily’s clothes.

Emily’s necklace.

Why is this place full of her?

The place was full and crowded and the music was so loud but the silence between you two? That was louder. Deafening. Unsettling. Awkward.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Emily said, finally managing to look you in the eye again.

Your breath hitched once, twice, before answering, “You too.”

And you meant it. But you didn’t want to.

Oh, but you did.

She chugged her beer and grimaces the second she does. “I … I didn’t know you and Penelope are friends.”

“I didn’t know you and Penelope are co-workers either.” You shrugged. “How long have you been with the FBI?”

“Seven years,” she answered.

Penelope called your name from the dance floor where she was dancing with Morgan. You only gave her a thumbs up to let her know you’re fine and will be staying at the booth.

“You’re staring,” you said and Emily quickly diverted her eyes from you. She decided the floor was a better view instead. You licked your lips to keep yourself from smiling. “It’s okay, you know.”

“What?”

“I said it’s okay.”

“What’s okay?”

“If you want to pretend like we don’t know each other.” But the agonizing tug in your chest claimed otherwise. “I mean, they’re your friends and Pen is your friend as much as she’s mine. She doesn’t have to know. She just brought me here tonight so we could have fun and meet you guys.”

To your surprise, Emily moved to sit next to you. Not really next to you but just close enough to smell her perfume.

Velvety.

Delicious.

Familiar.

You inhaled deeply, composed yourself, and stole Penelope’s second beer.

“How have you been, Y/N?”

The shiver that ran down your spine shouldn’t be there when Emily said your name. It shouldn’t have affected you that much. Or at all. But it did. And you despised it.

“Since you left me? Great.” You laughed quietly, staring at the glass now half empty. “Really great. I … I’m well … a resident doctor …” You take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. I just …”

“You didn’t expect to see me, I get it.”

“Yeah.”

There’s the awkward silence again. If it doesn’t stop sooner, you think you might just bang your head against the table just to shift the mood.

“I tried to find you,” Emily spoke again. Her voice was low, you almost miss what she said. “I came back but you weren’t there anymore. Your mom said you already moved to LA with your dad and -”

“I don’t want to do this here, Emily. Please.” You just can’t. You might cause a scene if you keep this up. You’re still torn between crying hysterically or just downright screaming at her face.

But her face. Her stupid, fucking perfect face.

You looked away. You focused on the people dancing specifically at Penelope grinding against Reid who’s only swaying awkwardly. That’s better.

Emily scooted closer to you but not close enough to invade your personal space still. “Do you hate me?”

You wanted to be rude. Tell her what does it look like, bitch? But that’s just not you. You’re not a confrontational woman. You’re an honest woman. And to be honest, you’re feeling a lot.

Instead, you gulped a drink and stared at it for a while, leaving Emily staring at your hand, waiting for an answer that may never come.

It took a few minutes for you to gather the strength to look her in the eyes. Your eyes may have been teary, you’re not sure, but everything else looks blurry and you feel lightheaded. You’re not even drunk yet. You only had two beers, for fuck’s sake.

You missed those eyes. Emily’s kind, loving, gentle, ‘used to see right through you’ eyes.

“You left me,” was all that came out of your mouth.

Emily moved closer to your seat, dark eyes still locked on yours as if asking for permission. “I was scared. I was young, Y/N.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “And I wasn’t? Your mother literally hired a private investigator to threaten me so I would stay away from you! I was 17, Emily! 17!” You hissed. Emily tried to reach out for your hand but you got up quickly and ran to the dance floor, to your friend.

You whispered to Penelope’s ear that you needed to leave immediately to cover an emergency shift at the hospital. She knew better than to argue with you and your work so she let you go and told you not to worry about the tab. She offered to call you an uber but you insisted on walking since the hospital is only a few blocks away.

“Y/N, wait!”

“Emily, not now!” Your strides were getting bigger and you wished you could just fly home instead and get there faster. She grabbed your arm, pulling you to the side. And although it’s already dark outside, Emily can’t miss the way your eyes glisten with tears, staining your cheeks. “Please, Emily, just please.” You didn’t know what you’re actually asking - begging - her. You weakly placed a hand to her stomach and pushed to keep a little distance between the both of you.

Emily took your shivering hand and held it to her chest instead. Her hands were as soft as you remembered them to be. And you hated the fact that you still remember that after so many years. “Please, Y/N, let me just talk to you.”

“What’s there to talk about? We made it this far in life without each other.” You said bitterly.

“But we didn’t want to.” She sighed. “At least, not for me.”

You took a deep breath in. Emily wiped the tears with her thumbs. Then she cupped your face and you couldn’t help but to just feel her for a minute, face settling on her warm hands. You look at her, eyes pleading. “Em, please.”

Emily shuddered at the nickname. You were - are - the only one who could make it sound so soft and loved; make it sound like home. After all this time.

“Emily?” You both looked at the sound of Penelope’s voice. You quickly retracted your hand from Emily’s. “Y/N? You’re still here?”

“I, uh, Emily here just brought me my purse because I forgot.” You lied. Emily swallowed whatever she was about to say. You turned to Emily. “Thanks. I have to go now.”

“Oh, okay.”

You hailed a cab and got out as fast as you can, leaving Emily dumbfounded and Penelope confused as she was intrigued.

___

Emily rubbed her hands together and exhaled loudly. Penelope raised her eyebrow. “What did you do?” She asked.

“What? I didn’t do anything.”

“For an FBI agent, you’re a bad liar right now, honey.” She squinted and took a closer look at Emily’s eyes. Teary. “Were you two making out?”

Emily scoffed. “You’re drunk, Garcia.”

“And you’re hiding something, Prentiss.”

“I’m not!” Penelope continued to stare at her suspiciously, pressing the truth out of her. “Okay, I think you should talk to her first. I can’t be the one to tell you if she doesn’t want to.”

“Did you know Y/N before I brought her here? I saw that you two were surprised to see each other a while ago. There was something there. It doesn’t take a profiler to see it.”

Emily paced back and forth, biting her lip, arms crossed. She stopped herself from biting her nails, a habit she may have done when she’s anxious. Emily contemplated whether to tell Penelope everything or something or anything. “God, I think I need something stronger than the drinks in the bar.”

“I’m waiting here, pudding.”

“And I’m thinking here.” She kept her pace. Then stopped. Emily takes a deep breath. “Y/N is … well, she was … is … I think …” she rambled, hands in her pockets. Emily looked up to keep the tears pooling in her eyes from falling. “Garcia, she’s the love of my life.” She stated weakly.

Penelope gaped at Emily like a deer caught in headlights.

___

Penelope arrived home at around 2:30 in the morning. You heard the lock click and footsteps approaching your door. You quickly pulled the covers above your head and pretended to sleep soundly.

“Y/N?” It’s your roommate. She caressed your foot. “I just want to say I’m sorry for bringing you out there tonight. I … I didn’t know you and … her …” Penelope sighed sadly. “We can talk about it when you’re ready or whenever you want or not at all. It’s up to you really. I just want to say I’m sorry.” She gave a light pat to your leg. “Good night, sweetie.”

___

The next morning, you found Penelope sitting in the kitchen having coffee and talking to someone on her laptop. You didn’t interrupt her, suspecting she might be working from home.

You prepared coffee for yourself and sat on the opposite end of the table. You pretended to scroll on your phone … waiting …

“Morning, baby girl,” Penelope finally decided to break the silence.

“Morning, Pen.”

“So …” There it was. You have known her for a long time to know that nothing - not even the strongest of hangover - is stronger than her inquisitiveness. “Want to talk about the elephant in the room?”

You took a deep breath.

“I’m not forcing you, Y/N. I’m just asking if you’re ready because if you’re not, it’s fi -”

“And let you die of curiosity?” You hid your smirk behind your mug. Penelope smiled widely. “Did she tell you about me?”

“Emily?” You roll your eyes as if to say who else? “We haven’t had the chance to talk about our personal lives before but last night, she told me two things actually.”

“Oh?”

“One, that it might be better if I get the dirt from you. And two …” Penelope pauses, grinning. Is she actually pausing for dramatic effect?

“Spit it out, Penny.”

“I’m not sure if you want to know.”

“Just say it.”

“That you were -” Your friend shook her head. “ ARE. You are the love of her life.”

Oh.

There it was again. That tug in your chest. Are you dying? Maybe. You needed to get this checked out one of these days at the hospital, you thought. You might need an ECG or probably a 2D echo.

“Is it true?” Penelope pushed. “How did you two know each other?”

You walked to the living room with your coffee and sat on the couch. Penelope follows you.

“That love of her life part, I’m not sure.” You took a sip of your coffee. Black and bitter. “We met in high school. She was my girlfriend.”

Penelope scooted closer. “What happened?”

“Well, long story short -”

“No, I want the long complete detailed version, love bug.” You rolled your eyes at her and she smacked your arm. “You’ve been holding out on me!”

“Hey! I didn’t know my ex is working with you, okay?”

“Still! Everything really does happen for a reason.” She smiled to herself.

You raised an eyebrow. “And what’s the reason for this then?”

“We’ll see,” Penelope smirked. “Now, go on with the story, girlfriend.”

“We met in high school. She was a transferee. I was, well, an introvert with no friends. She was the new girl. I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.” You see Penelope with a shit-eating grin, nodding her head. “It took a week before I could say a word to her.”

“Because you’re so gay and she’s a pretty girl?” Penelope grinned.

You glared at her. “Because I was an introvert.”

“Sure.”

“Anyway, she missed a class and asked if she wanted my notes and she said yes. We have been friends from then on.”

“Until…?”

“She was the first one to say ‘I love you’, you know?” Tears started pooling in your eyes. You immediately wiped it off with the end of your sweater before it even stained your cheeks. “We were in the locker room. Just the two of us after gym class. It was out of nowhere. We just finished showering -”

“Together?” Penelope gasped scandalously. You swatted her arm and she laughed. “I’m kidding.”

“Anyway, we just finished showering and she said she loved me. You have to understand that it was a time when you know … it’s not accepted nor tolerated to be … us.” Penelope took your hand and squeezed it. She could only sympathize, knowing how cruel and tough the world must be to not let people love who they love. “We hid it for a year, maybe two. I’m really not sure now, I think, but it was the longest time of my life. We were okay, great even. We had the most fun, enjoying each other’s company, sneaking around, going on dates. My mom met her. She liked her. Always asked about her when I get home.” You smile at the memory now but it quickly fades. “Until her mother found out about us.”

“Ambassador Prentiss? Oh, that evil -”

“Her mother sent a P.I. to threaten me so I would stay away from her daughter. I was 17 years old and scared, what else can I do?”

“Oh, honey,” Your friend pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry the world has not been kind to you, sunshine.”

“Thanks, Penny.”

“You two broke up after that?”

You shook your head. “I was about to ask Emily what we should do. I was ready to run away, to hide, to go anywhere with her. I messaged her to meet me at the gym locker room after class the next day but she never showed up at the school at all.” Penelope noticed your trembling hands and gently caressed them. “I found out from the faculty that she moved overseas.”

“Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it’s hard for you, honey bun.”

“I just didn’t expect to see her last night … or ever. I stopped myself from looking for her again. Turns out, life has funny comebacks.” You chuckled bitterly. Penelope enveloped you in a tight hug until her phone rings. You giggle, “Work is calling you, badass computer nerd.”

___

When Penelope reached the BAU, Emily was the first one to spot her. She ran towards her, following Penelope to her office.

“Fabulous morning, person who hurt my roommate.” Penelope greeted without looking at Emily to which she replied with an eye roll. “Y/N told me everything.”

“Y/N told you everything about what?” Suddenly the two women stopped on their tracks and turned around. It’s JJ with take-out coffees in one hand and files on the other. “Come on, ladies. Share it with the team.”

“No!” They simultaneously yelled.

“Okay, chill.” JJ handed them each their coffees. “Share it with me. I’ll find out about it anyway.”

Penelope dragged the two women into her lair. Once locked inside, Penelope announced, “Y/N is your ex!”

“Garcia!” Emily hushed her.

JJ’s eyes were wide and almost spitted out her coffee. “I knew there was something!”

“What?” Emily looked genuinely confused.

“Emily, we’re profilers. We see everything.” JJ reminded her. “You were so awkward with her last night. I assume you guys haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“15 years.”

“And it’s still that awkward?” JJ scoffed unbelievably. “Must have been a bad break up.”

“Technically, they didn’t break up but Agent Prentiss here left my friend without saying goodbye.” Penelope squinted her eyes at Emily, arms folded and eyebrows raised.

Emily’s face was almost as red as her blouse now. “I didn’t … I didn’t want to.”

“Then why did you?”

“It’s com-”

A knock interrupted the ladies’ gossip session. “Ladies, Hotch wants us in the briefing room ASAP.” Morgan told them.

“Be right there!” JJ replied. “We’ll continue this later. Over drinks. Just the three of us. Ladies’ night.”

Emily saw no way out of this so she just nodded.

___

It was a terribly bad day at work. The ER was filled with too many people. Patients kept on coming without showing signs of slowing down. Every bed was occupied - some were already in the hallway in wheelchairs - and everyone had something to do. You have not had breakfast or lunch yet. Your cup of coffee left cold at the doctor’s quarters which you’re sure someone threw out already.

Sometimes you wonder why you chose this career instead of just pursuing your love for multimedia arts.

“Doc,” a senior nurse called you. “I have your patient’s labs and ECG right here.” She hands you the chart. “X-ray results are to follow. Let me know if you’ll be requesting more. Bed 5.”

“Okay.” You walked towards the bed, reviewing your patient's chart. Name … age …

Name?

Now the world was playing a prank on you.

“Emily Prentiss?” You call your patient’s name as soon as you draw the curtains. Emily looked up to you, lying on the bed, beaming too much for someone who’s injured. There’s a small stain of blood on her tank top. You felt something stuck in your throat as worry fills your thoughts yet you retain your poker face.

“Y/N?”

“Dr. Y/F/N, resident. I’m,” you cleared your throat. You put down the chart on the bedside table. “I’m here to examine you. Can you tell me what happened?”

Emily adjusted herself on the bed with a grimace. “I got shot. Almost. I was wearing a vest but I think it left a graze.” Emily lifted her top to show you. You don your gloves and inspect the wound closely, pressing softly at the area. You suspect she might have taken more than one close hit from the way the graze looked. Your eyes panned to her eyes staring at your hands.

“Did you get hit elsewhere, Agent?”

“No,” Emily shook her head. But your eyes found fresh bruises on both of her arms. “It’s fine, doesn’t hurt.”

“You’re always a tough cookie, agent?”

“I have to be.”

“Of course.” You assessed the rest of her body, especially her head for any bumps or cuts. Apart from the bullet graze on her chest and the bruises on her arms, you didn’t find anything else worthy of concern or emergency so far. “Do you feel anything else? Any pain?”

Emily had many answers to that but she bit her tongue. It’s not the time and place. She shook her head instead.

“Okay, I’ll get someone to clean and dress your wound. I’ll order an intravenous painkiller. It will take care of the first six hours, at least, but I’ll also prescribe you some oral painkillers and have your home care instructions ready. Do you have someone I can talk to?”

“I, uh, I think JJ is around somewhere. Or Reid.”

“Any relatives?”

“They’re all I have.” There was a small pause. “We take care of each other.”

“Yeah, of course. Part of the job.” You wrote your initial reports on her chart before leaving. “So, uh … I’ll call the nurse.” You turned around but Emily grabbed the end of your coat. “Anything else, Agent Prentiss?”

“Can you, if it’s not too much to ask, can you do the IV thing? I just …”

“You hate needles.” I know.

She nodded. “Please?”

Fuck. How can you say no when she’s looking at you with those eyes? Dark, pleading and consuming.

You can lie and tell her you have other patients to attend to but so far, no nurse had called you yet. You hear another resident had come in, too.

Emily’s eyes and hand were still on you.

“Okay,” you finally said. “I’ll be right back.”

Just your dumb, stupid luck.

___

Your shift ended at around 10pm but it’s almost midnight when you got out of the hospital. You already changed your top into a purple t-shirt. You carried your bags, coat hanging on your arm, as you walked to your car. You couldn’t wait to go home and wash off the busy day you had.

You stopped by to take out Chinese food for you and Penelope and a little extra to reheat tomorrow for breakfast.

You heard the TV as you approached the door. Penelope must still be awake and watching a show. You opened the door with your keys and to your surprise, one of your patients today was sitting on your couch. Your eyes met briefly.

“Hey, sweetie pie!” Penelope cornered you and grabbed hold of the take-outs. “Let me talk to you for a minute.” Penelope excused herself and you, dragging you to the kitchen. “I’m sorry Emily’s here but somebody’s got to take care of her and she lives alone. I figured since you’re here and you’re a doctor, this will be the safest choice. If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Do I really have a choice?”

“No.” Your roommate grinned widely.

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Then it’s fine. I’m going to my room. I had a long day.”

“But aren’t you going to eat? You can watch TV with us.”

“I lost my appetite.” You mumbled. You walked to your room and Emily caught you on the way. She stopped in front of you. “What?”

“I’m sorry for staying. The team insisted and -”

“It’s fine, Agent Prentiss.”

Emily frowned. “You don’t have to be so formal.”

“I’m sorry but I’m really tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“Okay, sorry,” She stepped to the side and you walked past her. “Y/N?” You looked back at her. “Thank you for today.”

You flashed her a small smile.

___

You woke up the next morning to a loud scream. You quickly got up and ran to the living room. Your hair still disheveled and pajama pants hanging a little low.

“Is there a fire?” You asked, confused and half awake.

“Sorry for waking you, sunshine. But I cannot do this.” Penelope handed you a gauze, medical tape and scissors. “Help us, oh sweet lord of ER.”

You yawned then sat next to Emily. You disinfected your hands with alcohol and proceeded to clean her wound with povidone-iodine. She winces a little. “Hurts?”

“A little.”

“Well, it’s supposed to.”

“Wow, aren’t you grumpy in the morning.” Emily teased, earning a glare from you and a slightly painful poke. “Ow! Hey, be gentle please. I’m already hurt.” She pouted.

“You have a dangerous job. Couldn’t you be more careful?” You retorted, annoyed.

“Well, I’m sorry the UnSub has a gun and tried to kill me.”

You ignored her mumbling. “Do you have the day off?”

“Hotch gave me the week off.” Emily answered, clearly disappointed. “I can’t believe my doctor suggested a week's rest. It’s not even that bad, right?”

You bit the inside of your cheeks. “And you know better than your doctor?”

Emily smiled. “I guess not.”

You finished cleaning up her wound and changing the dressing. You picked up an ice pack from the fridge and handed it to her. “Ice your bruises. No more than 15 minutes at a time.”

“Yes, doc.”

“Don’t call me doc.”

“You’re a doctor.”

“We’re not in the hospital.”

Emily leaned forward, a little too close to your face. “What should I call you then?”

Up close, you noticed her lower lip has a small cut while her upper lip … well, there’s nothing wrong with it.

You tried not to focus too much on her lips. Tried is the keyword.

Then, you suddenly felt like your ghost floated above you and gave the back of your head a cold hard slap. Your eyes quickly darted up to her own brown orbs, intently staring back at you.

“I’d rather you not call me anything at all.” You said firmly and got up. Emily watched you march back to your room. A small smirk formed on Emily’s face.

You lied on your bed. Heart pounding, head somewhat dizzy, cheeks flushed.

Fuck Emily Prentiss and her stupid, stupid, tempting lips.

___

The three of you ended up watching your second classic film one afternoon with Penelope sitting between you and Emily. You didn’t like the movie that much honestly. You walked to the kitchen to make yourself your favorite drink - soda with vanilla ice cream.

“You still like that huh?” Emily sneaked up behind you. “It’s diabetes in a glass.”

“Guilty.” You took a sip. “It’s my comfort drink.”

“It sure is.”

“What do you need? Ice?”

“You, actually.”

“Why? Something hurts?”

“Nothing you can heal.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m serious.”

“So am I, Y/N.” Emily stepped closer to you. “I was wondering if we can finally have a talk.”

“We’re watching a movie.”

“Penelope’s just fine.” You both glanced at Penelope who turned her head back to the TV at breakneck speed.

“She put you up to this huh?” You took a seat and you gestured to Emily to do the same. There’s no use avoiding ‘the talk’ anyway as it looks like Emily might live here for the whole week whether you liked it or not. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Us.”

“Us?”

Emily ran her hands through her hair, not knowing where to start. “I didn’t want to leave.”

Fifteen years.

It’s been fifteen years since you last saw Emily. Both of you were still kids - young, innocent, carefree, hopeful. The day Emily left your life, you were a wreck. You did good at school, acing exams after exams, and eventually got to medical school on partial scholarship. Outside, you tried to be the perfect little golden daughter your parents and teachers expected you to be. Inside? You were empty. You felt as if you’re a shallow case of a person.

The first five years since Emily left, you graduated from high school. You got multiple part time jobs before applying to universities. In between those busy times, you tried to find her - called her up on her phone every single day for three years, wrote letters to her last known address every month for two years. Once, you even tried to sneak into their house but the security guard spotted you and almost caught you. You almost had a bald spot from the security grabbing your hair.

By the sixth year since Emily had gone, you stopped. You realized it’s not healthy anymore. You were holding on to a ghost. So you learned to live the next years of your life without her. After finishing your degree in biochemistry, you moved to LA with your father. You got yourself into UCLA and pursued medicine.

The med school journey wasn’t a smooth ride at all. Yes, you didn’t fail one subject during med school but the harder part came later - the actual practice. You struggled with a lot of things but mostly socializing with different people - strangers - whose life depended on you and your capabilities.

It was only five years ago that you finally started to feel somewhat confident with yourself. Not perfect but you weren’t getting yelled at as much by the attendings anymore. A senior resident even complimented your improvement which meant a lot to you.

Long story short, you survived without her.

Her name had become a memory pushed and tucked away in the back of your mind. You locked it and threw away the key. You had stopped yourself from waiting for answers as to why she walked out on you or why she didn’t fight for you ages ago.

Well.

Until now.

“Y/N,” Emily placed her hand on top of yours and you were quick to retract it. It was a reflex at this point. “Sorry.” She kept her hands under the table. “I know apologizing won’t erase anything that happened to us but I’m really sorry, love.”

“Don’t call me that.” You clenched your jaw. “Just tell me why.”

“She, my mother … she took me to the Middle East when she found out about us. I should have known, I should have seen, that we were being followed by her men every time we went out. She tossed the photos - our photos - to my face. She called me disgusting and immoral and a fucking disappointment all because I loved you.” The last part came out as a mumble but you caught it.

Your eyebrows relaxed, eyes softened. The waterworks in your eyes were threatening to fall again. Damn it.

How would a 17-year-old expect this from her own mother? How was she supposed to know?

“She had all your information and your family’s and I was so afraid that she would come for you.” Emily continued, now looking down at her hands, trembling in fear and probably embarrassment of being vulnerable and open. “I knew she would come for you. She told me so. I will set that girl straight if that’s what it takes, that’s what she said. And you have no idea how that sentence scarred me until now.” Emily takes a deep shuddering breath. “The thought of you being hurt because of me … us … I couldn’t bear that, Y/N. I had to protect you so I made her swear to leave you alone and in exchange I will follow whatever she wanted me to do, whatever she wanted me to be.” Emily glanced back up to you, eyes defenseless and face flushed. “I just want you alive and safe.”

“Emily …”

“You don’t have to forgive me now or ever if you don’t want to. Or if you can’t. That’s okay. I can live with that … I think.” Your ex-girlfriend sat up straight, faked a smile. “But I want you to know that when I got to the Bureau, I did look for you.”

Your eyes met. And from what Penelope was seeing from the living room, everything was evident: the longing, the pain, the memories.

“I found out you got into med school in LA. I was so happy for you, you know that. I knew you would make it. I remember you wanted to be a surgeon at first but then you said you liked kids so maybe pedia -”

“Why didn’t you call?”

“I couldn’t … I wanted to, Y/N. I have wanted so badly for years. But when I remember about what I put you through, what my mother put you -”

“Us,” you corrected. “What your mother put us through.”

Emily nodded. “I just couldn’t ruin your life like that again.”

“Do you still talk to her? Your mother.”

“Not anymore. We haven’t been in contact since the last case she brought to the FBI.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Can’t miss someone you don’t know.”

You gave her a sad smile. “You’re strong, Emily.”

“Sometimes I think it’s a curse.”

“It will take some time,” you mumbled. Emily stared at you, waiting for what you meant. “Forgiving you, I mean.”

“I know. You don’t have to.”

“But I understand, Emily. I understand now.”

You shared a friendly smile. You leaned forward to wipe the tear from Emily’s cheek.

Emily held your wrist, feeling your hand on her cheek. You two stayed like that for a few seconds. You were the first one to let go but before going, you left a tender kiss on her forehead to which Emily closed her eyes, feeling your lips against her skin for the first time in a long time.

The moment was almost ruined when you and Emily heard a shriek from the living room and saw Penelope stuffing her mouth with ice cream. Clearly, she saw everything.

You and Emily chuckled.

“Em,” you softly whispered. “I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Sorry the world wasn’t kind. To you. To us.”

Emily frowned. “It’s not your fault.”

None of this was your fault or Emily’s as it turns out. Now that everything was out in the open, a blossoming hope grew in your heart as you looked at Emily. All the sadness, anger and pain you felt the first time you laid eyes on her at the bar, you felt that diffusing quickly.

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

To just kiss her. Just once. Again.

Or hug her.

You don’t know. All you know is that you missed her. And although she looked much older than you remembered her to be - so are you - you still remembered looking at her eyes all those years ago. At the locker room. During classes. At the carnival. At the mall. In your childhood room. The street two blocks away from her house.

Emily stood up, eye level with yours, as if she read your mind. She leaned forward. Your lips now close to hers that you can feel her take a breath. She waited for you to pull away or to ran to your room but you didn’t. The next thing you know was Emily closing the gap between both of your lips.

The kiss was soft. Like the first time when you were two young girls at the locker room the first time she told you that she loves you. Yet, it was also intoxicating, exciting. You felt a jolt of electricity running through your whole body.

The kiss was also quick. It was done before you know it.

Emily flashed a smile. “I’d like to do that again.”

“Me too,” You mentally kicked yourself at how quick you responded to that.

“Let me take you out on a date sometime.”

How can you say no to her?

The answer is you don’t.

“I’d like that, Em.”

“Friday? 10pm? I’ll pick you up?”

“It’s like you know my work schedule.”

“Lucky guess,” Emily smirked. “Let’s go before Penelope dies of excitement. She’s literally red and might combust.”

“Don’t worry, I’m here if she codes.” You share a laugh.

You couldn’t wait for Friday to come.

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss angst #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss #paget brewster x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #jaye writes #emily prentiss x female reader

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lyomeii · 1 year

Text

never forgetting about you

->warnings: yandere themes, manipulation, angst, maybe this can be read without being yandere at all? Spoiler from the main story ending

-> request by anon! Hi 👋 I know I requested the same thing, but I forgot to add some details. Can you do a yandere sung jin woo where the reader is from the real world but falls in love with sung jin woo even though the reader knew that he was going to fall in love with who I forgot her name is so the reader gives him a yellow tulip flower ( which I think means love from one side ) and then the reader goes back to the real world and after some years sung jin woo brings the reader back and keeps them with him (sorry English isn't my first language :) anyway have a good day ♥︎~

->a/n: have a good day too anon! I loved writing this one since i never got a request like that before :) it was kinda of a challenge, but trust me that only made me more happier when I finished this. and I changed the flower, since i do know that yellow roses means friendship.

-> maybe this was all a dream, a really realistic one, yet you don’t seem to find a way to awake from it no matter what. you are living in a apartment in south korea, that’s fine and you can handle it, you are a grown up adult inside a teenager body who knows to take care of yourself… but the huge portal in front of your ‘home’ was what caught you off the guard.

-> the design was similar and didn’t took much time to realize you are inside the world of solo leveling, as much that sound exciting and a little weird, you felt something bad coming up. Could that be since you know how the story is going to end? Probably so, but it’s a dream so why not spend your short time here to met this new place?

-> you didn’t care if it a school day or not, you dressed in comfortable clothes, got your backpack and began walking around the streets while admiring every corner. Even with you being incapable to enter the portals for oblivious reasons, seeing such new environment is enough to make you wonder if this truly a dream, not to mention the delicious desserts that you brought during you little journey til sun dawn.

-> the next day, you got scared when you realize you still inside of this new world, where your new parents discovered you ditch class to walk around. That’s don’t sound well neither the grounding you received it from them, you felt bad with how worried they look and the many tears in their eyes, making you feeling so guilty about it. Such a great way to find out you are stuck in solo leveling forever.

-> getting used to this new life and world is actually fast? studying is now easier since you were a graduate in past life, your slowly gained your parents’ again and continue to have what you consider a normal life if you don’t count the many portals and hunter you saw in daily bases, since one of your parents is an A-rank healer and the other one works for the Korean Hunters Association, in which area? You never bothered to ask.

-> they are pretty busy with their job, yet they always made time to spend with you growing up and letting you choose what path in life you wish to have. Many people were somehow disappointed when you told that you have no desire to become a hunter like your parent, much to their happiness, knowing that you are save from dangerous situations and seeing you following your dreams to reach whatever is inside your mind.

-> what they don’t know is that your dreams ( as much it sound stupid ) is to meet the many characters you adore from the story. It don’t need to be a full interaction or get to met them and friend them, just to be near them already make you feel happier. However it didn’t took much time to met some of them as you expected.

->first you met no other than the chairman of the hunter’s association, Go Gumhee, who turned out to be a closer friend of one your parents, how much you wished to learned more about your family prior of this meeting. The old man was what you expected, someone kind and somehow fun to be around, not to mention he treats you as a family member and his wife enjoy your presence.

-> and when you grown up to leave school and to get a properly job, the old man offered one at his work, but you denied and decided to enroll in the university in order to get a degree for one of the courses there. Life going normal, yet one day you manage to met another character you love, the protagonist himself, Sung Jinwoo.

-> he is already taller and more mature by appearance, meaning the incident already happen and now he is in his way to become the strongest hunter of all times, that only make you even more excited to let him and that what you do in the first opportunity.

-> with the excuse to visit one your parents at work, you manage to met with the chairman and he introduced you to the most recent S-hunter of south korea. Honestly, you don’t know how you didn’t pass out nor asked for an autograph, could that be you were to shocked to believe in your eyes?

-> that moment happen so fast and of course, you expect to never met the protagonist again nor have a great importance in his life, regardless of being thrown inside of this world, you don’t have any special skill that make you different than most people, yet something manage to bring you two together as closer friends.

-> it was weird, to befriend the main protagonist who everyone wants to be closer, but you just got enough luck to be considered someone important in his life. Jinwoo even introduced you to his sister and mother, both who adore you in their life, not to mention the many dinners you had with them.

-> stupidly you were in love with Jinwoo, well who wouldn’t fall in love with a man like him? Gorgeous, cares about his family, good personality and an amazing cook? You did and so did —-. You can’t really blame her neither the many girls who fall over his charms, however you always knew you didn’t stood a chance with the person he is going to end with, the story is already finished when you got inside this world and you fear that you might be here one day.

-> in what seemed to be another day in your life, you gave Jinwoo a yellow rose to him before he left to another dungeon. His cheek went little red, mostly due the fact that none has ever gave him a flower, his sweet smile almost melt you immediately.

-> he thanked for such gift and left after hugging you while speaking how much your existence to him meant a lot and how he wishes to never loses you. Oh. that was weird, did something bad to Jinwoo to say something like this? Maybe, but your head is spinning so much that you can’t even think about that now.

-> the moment you stepped inside your apartment, you vision where fully black and you couldn’t hear anything nor feel when your body hit the cold ground. There is something holding you back from waking up and opening your eyes, but the sound and smell did help you recognize where you are. A hospital.

-> for what you thought to be ages, you finally open your eyes to confirm your suspicions. Laying down in a hospital bed and to make things even more crazier, you are back to the real world, not inside solo leveling. Was all of that a dream? It felt so real and you live there for years, but, according to the doctors, it was probably a dream since you were only in a coma for a few days.

-> you really don’t know what to do. was that all a dream? Those moment you had with yours parents from that world were fake? Like the people you interact there such the chairman, Jinah and even Jinwoo himself are nothing but part of your mind, still you keep those memories inside your heart, regardless of being real or not, you enjoyed every second at their side.

—

-> Jinwoo panicked when hearing the news from your parents. You just vanished from your apartment, your classmates nor coworkers saw for a few days and now you are considered missing.

-> how could that happen? you gave him that flower to him and disappear from earth, he told many of his shadow to search for you in all place of the world and yet, no sign of you anywhere. Just like you never existent at all, like you were part of their imagination, but the memories he and many others have means that you are real, just missing.

-> he desperate wants to look after you to find answer to why you vanish and where you are now, but with so many things happening right now. The monarchs are going to attack soon and he have to be there to stop them, Jinwoo has no other option than searching for you after the whole situation get solved.

-> and that he does, when he uses the cup of reincarnation, jinwoo spend years fighting the many the monarchs and monster send to defeat him, only to him being the victorious one. when he did return and began a normal life, he start looking for a way to look after you with the help of his shadow and that ‘person’ that has connections with the rulers.

-> his shadows didn’t find a trace of you and your parents even married in this new timeline, they didn’t have children, leaving bothering the rulers to know why your existence ceased and being scared, they told Jinwoo the true.

-> honestly, he never saw that coming, hearing that you are from another world and that you are back to your world almost broken him down in instant. He loves you and you left him so easily, is there any way to bring you back? Any way to use his power to make you stay at his side?

-> the rulers saw no other option than answering him and of course told him a way to bring you back with a relic of them, of course Jinwoo didn’t hesitate to bring you back to this world using the said object. And in minutes, you are back to this world, almost.

-> you exist now in this world, but you are laying down in a hospital bed in a coma that doctors fears that you won’t wake up soon. for what he knows, someone find you in a terrible state in their way to work and brought you to the closest hospital, where you are now staying. without any information about your identity or family, a doctor from the hospital and their significant other, a businessperson. those two were your parents originally in this world.

-> everything is going back together, except for you and him, Jinwoo feels that even you are back in this world, he feels empty and lonely. He can spend his time at your side, but can’t hear your sweet voice nor you laughs when he tells a stupid joke.. was this a mistake? Bringing you back in such state? Were you happier in your original world? He hopes to learn more about your true self when you finally wake up.

-> but for now, the doctors and your legal guardians wonder who is responsible for leaving so many gorgeous flowers in your room daily.

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost

#yandere headcanon #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere male #yandere manhwa #manhwa x reader #yandere solo leveling #solo leveling imagine #solo leveling x reader #sung jinwoo imagine #yandere sung jin woo #sung jin woo x reader

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ratatoast · 4 months

Text

Son coeur est le tien

Alastor x Reader qpr (general headcanons)

a/n: halfway through writing this, i realised that maybe my idea of a qpr might be different than someone else's haha,,, also, this is the very first time I've written for hazbin hotel lol (and should i mention that english isn't my first language? haha)

that being said, i hope y'all enjoy this mess :P

also also if y'all would like me to continue writing Alastor qpr (cuz there's def a shortage on that), feel free to send me prompts :)) i obvi wont write nsfw, but other than that, i think anything is fine (?)

Being in a qpr with the radio demon would include…

Long talks over tea/coffee

There’s never any awkward silence between the two of you. You two could be chatting about the most mundane things, and the conversation would still flow perfectly.

He’d definitely learn exactly how you like your hot beverage.

I personally can’t imagine him being an avid coffee drinker tbh, but I don’t think he’d mind if you are one.

Takes your tea parties very seriously, knows all your favourite pastries, puts on some smooth jazz, brings out the fine china, etc

Loves listening to you talking about your day, your current interests, hobbies, etc. Even if the topic itself isn’t all that interesting to him, he’ll still listen to you.

The both of you love gossiping with each other. Neither of you will admit it to others though.

Petnames

You very rarely hear your given name come out of this man’s mouth.

He never calls you anything that he deems too sickly sweet, usually sticks to dear, sweetheart, or darling.

If he’s having a particularly great day, he might call you love, but that doesn’t happen very often.

Constant praises & words of affirmation

I think words of affirmation is one of his main love languages.

He constantly showers you with praises, telling you how gorgeous you look, how witty your jokes are, etc.

We all know that this man is a charmer, however his compliments to you are more than just empty words… most of the time :p

Do keep in mind that this man is a master manipulator tho, so he isn't above using sweet talk to get what he wants.

Playful banter that keeps you on your toes

He loves a good back and forth, especially if his darling is a particularly witty individual.

The two of you can turn any conversation into a battle of words.

However, if you take it too far, he’s not afraid to put you in your place with a couple of sharp words, aimed to hurt.

But most of the time it’s just good fun :)

Never having to so much as lift a finger

He’s very big on acts of service.

Forget about opening doors or pulling out chairs for yourself.

He takes being a gentleman very seriously, especially when it comes to you.

But not only is he a gentleman, he’s also a powerful overlord.

So if you ever need anything, be that a new pair of shoes, or getting rid of a particularly nasty demon, consider it done.

Being his closest confidant

We all know that Alastor has many acquaintances, however he falls short on meaningful connections.

He doesn’t let people get too close to him, and it is sort of understandable why.

You are one of the only exceptions to that.

You know more about this man than all of hell combined.

It took a while for him to open up to you, and even longer until he started telling you about his past.

He’s the kind to drop hints about himself and let you figure out the rest.

Trust goes a long way with him, I think he’d be more open to sharing his plans and such with someone that he knows won’t question his every move.

Even so, there’s still a lot that you don’t know about him, but you’ll just have to take what you can.

You can dress however you want… as long as it fits his taste

He’s not all too picky about what you wear.

Contrary to popular belief, he wouldn’t expect you to be in full glam 24/7.

If you like more revealing clothes, well, he’ll just have to make sure that anyone that dares to as much as look at you the wrong way is taken care of.

That being said, looking well put together is a must.

You represent him in a way, and he expects you to look the part.

He can’t have you wandering the streets of hell in rags that not even the lowest sinners would wear.

Absolutely no modern technology allowed

Do I even need to explain this?

He’d rather be safe than sorry when it comes to the possibility of Vox messing with you.

You are never truly alone

Alastor would make sure to accompany you on your outings as much as his schedule allows it.

But let’s be real, he’s a very busy man.

He makes sure that a few of his shadows keep an eye on you though, even in his absence.

I don’t think your personal strength matters in this case, as I’ve mentioned before, there’s very little that this man wouldn’t do for you, especially when it comes to your personal safety.

Lets you get closer to him than anyone else

This time, I’m talking about physical closeness.

We all know that he isn’t big on physical touch.

However, I feel like you could get away with a lot more than others.

When the two of you are walking somewhere, it’s not unusual for him to offer you his arm.

When you’re standing next to him, he sometimes rests his hand on your back, although that is often a subconscious thing.

If you’re having a particularly rough day, he isn’t too opposed to letting you hug him.

You can also get away with laying on his lap sometimes, and if he’s feeling exceptionally gracious, he might even pet your hair.

PDA is definitely a big no-no, on one hand he has an image to protect, but I also just don’t think he’d be too comfortable with showing his more vulnerable side in public.

As for kisses… if you haven’t seen each other in a while, he might greet you with a kiss on your hand, but that’s as far as it ever goes.

He’s not a very touchy-feely person, so if that bothers you… good luck finding someone better than the radio demon ;)

me af tbh lmao

anway, thanks for reading pookies mwah (slash platonic lol)

#alastor #radio demon #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin x reader #alastor headcanons #queer platonic relationship #whew tbh i never thought that i would finish this #but i did my best #sorry for the french in the title btw lol #couldnt help myself

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minikoko-a · 2 months

Text

you and me?

lucifer x fem!reader , alastor x fem!reader (if you squint)

i was in tiktok and appeared 'i could never choose to love another/maybe one day i learn to love you too''while I was writing something about alastor x reader and lucifer and reader were involved in something and i took this idea too but do it on another thing and here i am.

angst, mention of alastor x reader, mention of lilith, kinda short but had to get it out, this happens during the seven years where Lilith and Alastor disappeared and the first episode of the series, mention of murder. sorry for any mistake! english is not my first language (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠).

You could still smell his scent even if he has never touched you or gone further than a hug, a sweet apple smell.

You could said at what moment you both turned... this.

You remember your arrival in hell, it was nothing to expect until you had just helped a young blonde with cheeks similar to a red apple, she was so kind that it was impossible to think that she was a hell's citizen, more precisely, the princess of hell.

"Charlie, Charlie Morningstar" Her smile was genuine and full of energy.

You could remember that day in detail, you could remember the answer you gave to one of her questions.

"I'm looking for my husband"

You weren't dumb, you knew why you were here. Your husband was a murderer and at the same time a renowned and successful radio host, how did you end up here? you hid the bodies and even helped in the crimes.

Another memory came to your mind, the day you met again.

"Dear?" his voice, his voice like on the radio. It was beautiful emotions, you hugged him, leaving his hands delicately on your waist, looking at you with those now dark eyes with red irises, but for you, he was still your lovely husband.

"I've been looking for you here" Your voice was full of joy, he brought his hand up gently caressing your cheek.

"And you found me and i won't leave, Dear"

You grabbed the edges of your silk robe that fit your body perfectly. Another memory invaded you.

You continued your contact with Charlie, you became very close to her, she even introduced you to her mother and father although with the latter she was not so close.

Her mother, Lilith.

And her father, Lucifer.

"It's good to see you have friends, Charlie!" You felt the discomfort of both, both of them were trying, he to fit in and she to let him fit.

You remembered when Charlie invite you to her home, it felt so... alone.

You could remember that a tall woman with long blonde hair being present, she was beautiful and so charming. That beautiful woman was so mysterious and her quartz necklace made her look so different, comparing her to the photos and Charlie's stories from her childhood, Lilith loves pearls.

Every visit to the morningstar home was a talk about your day with his arm intertwined with yours as they walked through the streets of hell. Every time you spoke, he looked at you from time to time and you could feel a look full of that love that was born when both of you were human and continued in hell.

"Dear, I'm looking at our rings and I've considered renewing our vows."

"but honey, it's fine-"

"Nuh-uh, we were married in life and i want to marry you after our life."

His romantic touch made you feel so calm and in love with him, his fingers intertwined with yours, adorning his characteristic smile on his face.

You're his beloved wife, he would never leave you alone.

Or that was at least seven years ago.

One day he just left.

And he never said anything.

"So your lover also left you without saying anything or well, mine did leave something." And the king of hell showed you his lover's ring, while his ring was still on his finger.

You didn't know when you went from going to Charlie's house for comfort, being in her room with swollen eyes and soaked cheeks and ended up in her father's office venting your sorrows.

"Lilith left her ring and i don't know, i guess that with this and that she hasn't appeared in days is enough for me to know that she— sorry" His sobs became more audible, his blonde hair was messy and his eyes were swollen, just like you.

You didn't say anything at that moment, his sobs were the only sound in his office, his chest rose and fell and thick tears slid down his red cheeks, soaking them along the way.

You understood his pain, your hurt heart was in tune with his, your tears became one with his, his sobs made a harmony of pain and heartbreak with yours and the other pair of rings missing from their respective loves uncompleted their love.

And the last thing you remember from that day was your hand on his giving it a squeeze showing support and comfort, having his gaze on yours shining like crazy with tears, both reflecting on each other's gaze and situations.

...

You came out of your trance of memories when you heard the door to your assigned room knock. Because after that coincidence, to help Lucifer and Charlie —when she used to live in the house—, you went to live with them seven years ago.

You stood up quickly from your bed, tiptoeing towards the door until you stopped and touched the cold floor completely, causing a small shiver from your feet to your spine. You fixed your robe and your hair a little and you took the handle to gently open the big door, revealing a somewhat nervous lucifer with his pajamas already on.

"Hi Lucifer— Oh!" In his outstretched hands was an elegant flat gift. "Oh you needn't have worried"

"Well dear, you have told me that many times, for seven years!" He laughed but his laugh hid something: sadness but he wasn't going to admit it. "I do it because it comes to me, you're special to me"

You smiled, those words were so sweet but acidic, he appreciates you, of course, but in a moment where there was a storm of emotions he ended up believing that it was romantic love, someone new to love.

Just like he did with Lilith or well, he does but he won't accept it.

For him, you are his new beloved.

Although you knew you were just a projection of Lilith that he himself created. He doesn't love you, he only loves the idea of loving you the same way he loved Lilith.

But you can't judge him, much less hate him.

"Thank you so much, Luci" You smiled, you took a part of the ribbon, pulling it to undo it and opened it carefully until you could see the piece.

And you felt a lump in your throat.

It was a pearl necklace.

"It's beautiful, Luci"

"And I know it will look beautiful on you"

You know you appreciate him, every kind and gentle act he does, being the most common and genuine, makes you smile, makes your cheeks go numb because of your smile there on your face for a long time.

You feel alive with him.

That feeling that you thought was over since your husband left without saying anything.

But on the other hand, he was giving you another point of view and that scared you.

"You know" He took the necklace and opening the clasp of it, when you saw this you turned around, turning your back on him. He took part of your hair and put it to the side, exposing your neck from behind placing the pearl necklace on your neck, fastening it carefully and taking your hair and putting it back how it was. "I knew you were beautiful and even more with a necklace like that."

You felt his hands take yours gently, you bit the inside of your tongue when you saw both of your hands.

A you and me?

Your wedding ring of your marriage with Alastor was still in your finger and while he covered your hand, his wedding ring of his marriage with Lilith was also there.

It wouldn't work, right?

His gaze was now on your face, his eyes had a divine shine, worthy of an angel. He smiled and placed a kiss on your hands, your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat, it was a sensation of surprise that made you feel like your stomach had dropped.

"I could never choose to love another"

There were no formulated words, it was as if your voice had gone.

"Good night, Dear! Have sweet dreams"

And now he had left you still with the door open while his short figure went straight to his room with happiness for his act.

You grabbed the handle, closing the door little by little. The kiss on your hands was a blow, a blow in your memories.

It was the same gesture that Alastor did.

You felt so bad.

The faith that he will return one day and accept what was happening were having an internal fight.

You sighed but before completely closing the door you murmured to yourself.

"Maybe one day i can learn to love... you... too"

You went to sleep leaving the pearl necklace in its box on your dresser, You didn't want to overthink the situation more.

After all, tomorrow you have to visit Charlie's great project that she herself excitedly invited you to: The Hazbin Hotel.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel angst #fanfic #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor

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sergeantbuckybarnes · 1 year

Text

mastermind // george weasley

Summary: You like Fred but he doesn’t seem to reciprocate your feelings, so you ask George to fake date you to get his twin attention, but the faking soon turns too real.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: unrequited love, fake dating, angst, a bit of fluff

A/N: As always, remember English is not first language. Also, thanks to @allyjoe755 for proofreading this!

main masterlist

“You’re staring again.”

You turned to your friend. “I am not.”

Bernice arched an eyebrow, gazing at you with skepticism.

“Okay, I was staring,” you said defeatedly, looking down, “but Binnie, look at him; I just can’t help it.”

You'd been infatuated with Fred Weasley since the first time you met him. You'd spent the last few months trying to flirt with him and show him how you felt, but he didn’t seem to be on the same page.

“Why don’t you ask him out? Straightforward. Without beating around the bush.”

“And have him laugh in my face, leaving me with shame and rejection for the rest of my life? Thank you, but no. Besides, Fred is no idiot; he clearly observed my advances on him and chose to ignore them since he isn't interested.”

Bernice remained silent for a few minutes before breaking into a wicked smile. You knew what that smile meant; you'd seen it a thousand times since you befriended the redhead in your first year at Hogwarts — and it never meant anything good.

“You should make him jealous.”

“What?” You frowned, a confused expression painted on your face.

“Look, men are inherently jealous. Now, he may appear uninterested, but if he realizes he's losing you, he'll go for it.”

You were perplexed when you stared at her. “Where did you learn that?”

“From a magazine of my muggle neighbor.”

“And you’re sure it’s going to work?” You inquired, still dubious.

Bernice nodded confidently, which gave you some comfort. She appeared to know what she was talking about.

“So, how can I make him jealous?”

“Easy. You go out with someone else,” Bernice said. “His twin brother is single, right? Go out with him and show Fred how much fun you can have with someone else.”

“With George? Why does it have to be George?”

“Because it will make him ten times more jealous. Siblings always want what the other has.”

You couldn’t know if that statement was true, since you were an only child who never had to share anything.

“Look, Fred believes he has you in the palm of his hand; his ego towers higher than the astronomy tower. He needs to come back down to earth.”

You sunk into your seat. You were hesitant. How could you do something so wildly unethical, not to mention how it would hurt George in the process? Was your desire to have Fred return your affections really worth it?

“What if George rejects me?”

“He will not,” Bernice said, shaking her head. “He’s the nice twin.”

“Fred is nice too.”

Your friend rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”

You sat in your bedroom, quietly staring at the wall. This morning's conversation with Bernice was still circling your head. You knew it was childish, but you also knew there was a chance it would work. Still, you were hesitant. You liked George and you considered him a good friend; he was nice and he didn’t deserve to be used and discarded. Furthermore, what if Fred didn’t want you after you broke his twin brother’s heart?

No. There was no chance you’d risk that.

You groaned and buried your face in your pillow, letting out a frustrated cry. You were truly helpless.

One of those muggle magazines Bernice mentioned might be useful right now.

You turned around and started looking intently at the ceiling, as if the solution you were looking for were, somehow, written there. Suddenly, a spark went off in your head.

“What if I tell George about the plan and I ask him to help me?”

That was a better idea than what Bernice first suggested. Fred would still believe you and George were together, and no one would be hurt.

Yeah, that was a brilliant plan. Now you just needed George to agree to it.

“I can always bribe him with chocolate frogs.”

You also had some galleons that he could invest in creations for their future store.

Finding George was more difficult than you expected, and that the castle was of gigantic dimensions did not help in your search either. He could be anywhere. Well, except for the library. That was a place you wouldn’t bother to search.

Frustrated, you trekked outside to the Quidditch pitch, where you finally spotted George and the rest of the team, who appeared to have just finished practicing.

“George! Where have you been?” You exclaimed as you dashed up to him.

George looked up, surprised. He wasn’t usually the twin you sought out. But before he could reply to your query, Fred joined you.

“Hey, Y/N. You look good today,” he said, his signature charm smile on his face.

You fought the flush that was coming up on your face and tried to keep focused on what you needed to get done. “Thank you,” you replied before turning your attention to George again. “Can I talk to you?”

George nodded but made no moves to exit the pitch.

“In private,” you specified.

As he nodded, understanding rushed over him. Then he turned to Fred. He didn't say anything; they just looked at each other for a few seconds like they were communicating telepathically — something that frightened you every time they did it. Fred rolled his eyes and walked away, muttering something under his breath.

“Well?” He inquired, intrigued, once you were alone.

“I need to ask you for a favor,” you said, sheepishly. He didn’t say anything so you continued. “I want to make Fred jealous.”

George frowned, confused. “Not sure how I can help you with that.”

You sighed, “I really like him, but he doesn’t address any of my advances. If he sees I’m interested in you, it would make him want me.”

“Who told you that?”

“A muggle magazine.”

George kept staring at you as if you'd grown two heads.

“Please, George. All you have to do is pretend you like me and that we’re dating.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with pretending to date someone.”

“It's just for a little while!” You begged. “Please, George. You're my only hope.”

After a few minutes of contemplation, George finally agreed. “Alright, fine. Let's give it a shot.”

You made a small enthusiastic leap. “Thank you, George. You’re the best.”

You shuffled anxiously outside the Great Hall the next morning, eyeing Fred from afar. George, who was standing next to you, cleared his throat.

“You ready for this?” he asked.

You took a deep breath before nodding. “Let's go.”

George extended his hand, and you entwined your fingers with his before walking into the Great Hall hand in hand, garnering some surprised looks from some of your classmates. You dashed over to the Gryffindor table where Fred was already seated.

“Morning, Fred,” you said joyfully as you sat down, still holding George's hand.

Fred cocked his brow. “What's going on with you two?” he asked suspiciously.

You shrugged. “Nothing much, we're just enjoying each other's company.” You gave George a sly smile and leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder.

George returned your smile. “I couldn't resist.”

Fred cast a skeptical glance between you two. “You guys are really dating now?”

You nodded, taking a sip of your pumpkin juice. “Yep, we decided to give it a try.”

Fred appeared to be uncomfortable, but he tried to mask it by stuffing some food into his mouth. You noticed how uneasy he looked and whispered into George's ear. “It’s working, he's definitely jealous.”

George chuckled softly and squeezed your hand under the table. As you finished your breakfast, you caught Bernice’s eye from the other side of the table, giving you a thumbs up.

You smiled back, grateful for your friend's encouragement. With Bernice’s idea of fake dating George, you finally had a chance to make Fred see you in a different light.

It just started and it was already working.

You and George were huddled up in one of the couches of the Gryffindor Common Room, lost in your own world.

Pretending to date George turned out to be pretty easy. He’d do all these nice things like wait for you in the mornings and walk you to breakfast and carry your books to class, even if you told him it wasn’t necessary. Also, he didn’t miss an opportunity to hold your hand or kiss your cheek.

You'd seen something light up in Fred's eyes whenever George touched you, like that first morning in the Great Hall. Despite this, he had done nothing about it. In fact, you haven’t had a conversation with the older twin since all this sham started.

You and George haven’t had a proper fake date either. And with Hogsmade weekend approaching, you decided it was the ideal time to put on a show of phony young love.

“Get a room!” Lee joked from one of the couches.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but smile, “We’re in a room,” you said.

Angelina piped up. “Yeah but I don’t think we want to hear all that snogging!”

Truth to be told, you and George only have shared chaste, innocent kisses. At first you were a little apprehensive, and you could sense George was as well. You didn’t want to dive in too deep, but if your only kisses were on the cheeks, you knew it wouldn't be very convincing.

George couldn’t help but tease back. “Jealous?” he asked with a smirk. And although it was Angie who made the comment, he said this looking at his brother, expecting to get a reaction, but Fred only rolled his eyes and started a conversation with Lee. Even still, he would steal glances from time to time.

“We should go on a date this Saturday,” you suggested.

George hummed in response.

“We could go to Honeydukes and then get some butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks,” you added.

“That sounds great, love.”

Under a lovely blue sky, you and George wandered through the charming streets of Hogsmeade. You laughed as you passed the various shops, your eyes sparkling with delight.

The wonderful fragrance of candy filled the air as you walked towards Honeydukes.

You took George's hand in yours and led him inside, eager to indulge in some treats.

"Wow, look at all these sweets!" You exclaimed as you surveyed the colorful display cases. “Let's get some chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans.”

It was foolish of you to get so excited over candy, but you couldn’t help it, you had a sweet tooth.

“So what’s your favorite candy here?” George asked.

You grinned. “I'm a sucker for the peppermint toads.”

George laughed. “Typical. I'm more of a chocolate person myself.”

After filling up on treats, you took a leisurely stroll through the quaint town, admiring the intricate fairy lights and bobbing for apples at games stalls.

As you were exploring the stores and taking in the charming atmosphere, George spotted a flower shop and decided to buy you a rose. When he handed it to you, you flushed. “You're such a gentleman.”

“Only for you,” he said with a smile.

As dusk started to set in, you made your way over to The Three Broomsticks to warm up with some butterbeer. You found a cozy corner booth, your eyes locked onto each other. The candlelight flickered softly, casting shadows on your faces.

The quaint pub was bustling with students from Hogwarts and other wizards and witches from Hogsmeade.

“This is really nice,” George said, taking a sip from his butterbeer. “I haven't been here in ages.”

You smiled sweetly at him. “I'm glad you're enjoying it. I thought it would be nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of the school for a bit.”

George nodded in agreement. “It's nice to have a change of scenery, especially with good company.”

There was a brief moment of silence between the two of them before you spoke up. “I had an amazing day. Thank you, George,” you said sincerely.

“You’re welcome, love,” he responded, smiling.

You chatted for what seemed hours while sipping on the frothy drink. The atmosphere was cozy and warm, with the crackling of the fireplace in the background.

“I can't believe we're already in our final year,” you said wistfully.

“Time flies when you're having fun,” George remarked.

Despite the fact that you had been out for the majority of the day, you couldn't help but feel that your date had finished far too soon, but you were glad for such a great day. You couldn't recall ever feeling so at ease around someone, let alone a boy.

You were growing so used to this relationship that you forgot you weren’t actually dating him.

You walked into the Gryffindor Common Room with a wistful expression on your face. Bernice had been lounging in one of the armchairs by the fireplace, flipping through a magazine. As soon as she saw you, she jumped up excitedly.

“So, how was Hogsmeade? Did you and George have fun?” your friend asked eagerly, a hint of mischief glimmering in her own eyes; waiting for you to spill the beans.

You sank down onto the couch next to her and let out a sigh. “It was...nice,” you said, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

Bernice raised an eyebrow. “Nice? That's all you're going to give me? You'll have to do better than that if you want me to help you get Fred's attention.”

You looked away uncomfortably. “That's just it, though. I don't think I want Fred's attention anymore.”

Bernice's mouth dropped open in surprise. “What? Why not? You've been crushing on him forever!”

"I know, but...after spending time with George, I realized there might be something there," you admitted quietly.

“Oh no, Y/N. This is not what we planned. You were supposed to make Fred jealous, not fall for George.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But George is just so wonderful, I can’t help how I feel.”

“Well, I guess we have to come up with a new plan then. Maybe we can find someone else for you to date and make Fred jealous that way.”

“I don’t know, Binnie,” you murmured. “I should never have dragged George into my mess. Maybe I should just be honest with him.”

“That’s a risky move, Y/N. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Then things could get awkward between you two.”

“I know, but I think it’s worth the risk.”

Bernice placed a hand on your shoulder sympathetically “Alright. It’s your call,” she said. “I'm here for you no matter what you decide.”

“Thanks, Binnie,” you smiled. “I appreciate it.”

As you approached George, your heart rate increased. You rubbed your hands, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. You sat down on the bench near George, taking a deep breath before starting the conversation.

“George, I... I need to talk to you.”

“Of course, what’s up?” he responded kindly, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“I don't know how to say this, but... I know we started pretending to date to make Fred jealous. But... sometime along the way, I began to see you differently. You're... smart, funny and kind-hearted. And I'm not sure when it happened but…” You looked up for a second to observe his reaction, “I think I like you. Like, I like, like you.”

George's eyes widened in surprise as he heard what you said. Silence filled the air as George sat there astonished, his thoughts jumbled as he tried to process everything that you had just told him. Finally, he took your hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Y/N,” he said softly, “I like you, believe me, I do. But… I think you are confused.”

You peered into George's eyes, not understanding what he was saying. “What? I’m not confused; I know how I feel.” You sighed, feeling embarrassed and exposed. “I know it's sudden, George. And I understand if you don't feel the same way,” you added, looking down at your hands.

George took a moment to think before responding. “It's not that I don't have feelings for you, Y/N. It's just...I don't know, this whole fake dating thing was confusing enough as it is. And Fred… he’s my twin brother, he’s in the picture too,” he paused and exhaled deeply. “I need time to figure things out,”

You nodded understandingly. “I get it, George. Take all the time you need. I just wanted to be honest with you,” you said, standing up.

George stood up as well, giving you a small smile. “Thanks for telling me, Y/N. We'll talk more soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed before walking away, feeling both relieved and nervous about where things might go from there.

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley x you #george weasley fic #george weasley one shot #harry potter imagine #fred and goerge weasley

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katyswrites · 1 year

Text

don't call me 'baby'

PART 1 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, swearing, sexual harassment/men being gross, alcohol use, smoking, age gap

Wordcount: 4k

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 1 | in the same room, at the same time

This wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s what you would tell yourself, later. But, life is funny that way - nothing ever really goes the way you’d expect it. And, when you had taken the last-minute shift at Enoteca Bruni, the fine-dining restaurant where you worked as a cocktail waitress, you could have never predicted where the night would take you.

It had started with a large reservation that had come in around 8pm, four businessmen in suits and watches that you imagined cost more than your entire month’s rent. You were used to that type - considering the prices on the wine list, nearly everyone you served here lived at least three tax brackets above you. It wasn’t a job meant for everyone - a lot of these types of customers were dismissive, rude, and expected those who serve them to disappear in the background, not to interrupt whatever they were doing, which was obviously oh-so-important. But, the tips were phenomenal, and the late night hours worked perfectly with your daytime shifts at the cafe in the city’s center.

Still, the most intriguing thing about them was that they weren’t Italian, like you had gotten used to - nor were they speaking Spanish, French, German, or any of the other languages you had learned to recognize over the last few years. No, they were American. It wasn’t often that you heard your native tongue and accent nowadays - no, it was actually jarring. But, you welcomed it. The oldest man at the table, a gray-haired, thin man with a sharp face and tailored three-piece suit, smiled when you greeted them with a hello.

“How wonderful,” he had exclaimed. “Someone from our side of the world.”

“Finally,” a younger man with a smattering of freckles on the other side of the table had said, exasperated. “We’ve got someone who actually speaks English around here.”

“Well,” you said, “To be fair, you are in Rome. I suppose you could say we are the odd-ones-out.”

He rolled his eyes, and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just trying to say it’s nice to actually understand who I’m talking to for once, you know? Not that I’m looking for her to talk back.”

Unfortunately, that didn’t even crack the top ten worst things a customer had said to you in your time working here. So instead, you just plastered on a cheerful smile.

“Of course. In that case, what drinks can I get started for you gentlemen?”

As the hours wore on though, it was becoming harder and harder to feign kindness. With each wave of dismissal, or snap of their fingers, you wanted to take the drinks you were serving and throw them in their faces. The worst of the bunch were probably the first older man you had spoken to, who had such a vile demeanor about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on it; and perhaps worse than him were two of the younger men, the dark-haired one with freckles, and a sandy-haired guy with what you could only describe as a mullet.

1982 called, it wants its hairstyle back, you thought to yourself.

It was those two who you could see undressing you with their eyes, who called you over for nonsense requests, asking you to bend over the table to get things that you knew they were perfectly capable of reaching themselves. And, you weren’t deaf; you heard the comments they made as you walked away to fetch more wine and scotch.

Look at that ass go, one of them said. I’d definitely hit it.

As if you could pull that, the other said. Besides, you’ve already got two bitches on the side Billy; leave some for the rest of us.

Don’t look at me, the sandy-haired man who was apparently named Billy retorted. If anyone around here needs to get laid, it’s Harrington.

With your back turned, you rolled your eyes, and wondered if they’d notice if you spit in their drink - that was, until no-first-name Harrington replied.

Guys, lay off - just let the girl do her job, yeah?

You took a deep breath, and recomposed yourself - it was the bare minimum, but it was something - someone who saw you as a person, maybe.

You carried the tray over with a wide smile plastered on your face, handing out drinks as you surveyed the table. You glanced at Harrington, the quietest one in the group - you had hardly heard a word from him all night, until right now. He was handsome, on the younger side of the group, but you’d estimate still about a decade your senior; he had a thick, slightly wild head of chestnut hair, and more of a boyish look about him. And with the exception of his perfectly-tailored suit and ostentatious Rolex, he didn’t look to have much else in common with his colleagues at first glance. While they sat at ease, laughing and conversing over their drinks, he sat up straight, stoically swirling his wine.

You pulled the post-dinner cigars they had asked you to bring out of the box, slicing the end with the guillotine cutter and handing the first one to the oldest man, striking a match and lighting it for him until he drew smoke. It felt humiliating sometimes, to light the Suits’ cigars for them as if they couldn’t do it themselves, but that came with the territory in a place like this, you had learned.

You reached Harrington last, only for him to shake his head.

“Oh, none for me - thank you though.”

Thank you - he was probably the first one from the table to say that all evening.

“Can I get you gentleman anything else?” you asked stiffly.

“That’ll be all, for now,” the gray-haired man said, waving you off.

You nodded, and at the bar, decided it was high time for your smoke break. You glanced at your watch - your shift was over in less than an hour, and your high heels were killing you. You signaled to the manager behind the bar that you were taking fifteen, and shouldered your way out the door.

*****

The first few minutes outside were peaceful, and relatively quiet - at least, as quiet as Rome could be at this hour. There was still the distant sound of traffic, the bustle of people on the sidewalk, many drunkenly stumbling and laughing, in the midst of making merry on a Friday night. You took a drag from your cigarette and inhaled deeply - even just a few moments off of your feet, and sitting out here on this bench in the fresh air, was starting to take the edge off. Still, you couldn’t shake that table of men - your manager had warned you that it was a very high-profile client, explaining that the dinner was likely a pretense for some multi-million dollar deal to be discussed. Still, you found yourself muttering under your breath, practicing the retorts and profanities you had wanted to throw at them. The shield you had built for dealing with customers was only so strong, and if your job wasn’t on the line, you probably would have told them to fuck off hours ago.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you don’t hear someone approaching, not until they’re right next to you, clearing their throat.

“Oh! Jesus, hi,” you say, clutching your chest with your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

Harrington was standing above you, hands in his pockets and his tie loosened.

“It’s fine - I promise, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His smile was friendly, and a bit apologetic. He looked different in the dim light, a bit younger, and not at all like someone who spends his days in an office doing… whatever those men inside did.

“You mind if I sit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to you on the bench. You just shook your head, a bit wary of him still.

He smiled, and started fishing around in his pockets until he pulled out a small baggie of tobacco and a pack of rolling papers. You raised your eyebrows, and smirked.

“You roll your own cigarettes?” you asked.

He nodded, not quite looking at you, focused intently on the task and hand.

“Yep. It’s so much better than that crap you smoke, trust me.”

You scoffed, despite the fact that this man was technically your customer, and your shift wasn’t quite over yet.

“Yeah, well, I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got. Thanks though…” you trailed off, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and turned to face you, grinning.

“Steve. Steve Harrington.”

He extended a hand towards you. You hesitated for a moment, caught off-guard by the simplicity of the gesture from someone like him, but you took it, telling him your own name. His much bigger hand was warm and calloused, shaking yours firmly before pulling away.

You stared at him intently, desperately trying to figure him out as you placed your cigarette between your lips and inhaled. It was hard to figure out what exactly his deal was - but, he was talking to you like you were an actual person, so that was at least a step above most of the people you’d waited on here.

When he finished rolling, he stuck the cigarette between his lips, then sighed.

“Shit - d’you have a light?”

You nodded, reaching into your handbag and pulling out your small blue lighter. He leaned in close, close enough that you could faintly smell his cologne, feel the heat radiating off of him in the cool May evening. It took a moment for the flame to catch, then he was leaning back and he took a drag, letting his eyes flutter shut.

You looked away quickly, staring at the street ahead. Your black cocktail dress didn’t offer much coverage, causing you to shiver slightly as a breeze picked up. It was Steve who broke the silence, after a few moments.

“I want to apologize, by the way - my, uh, colleagues… they’re assholes.”

You nearly choked at his words, whipping around to face him.

“I’m sorry… what?”

“I - I don’t know how much you heard in there, but -”

“I heard enough,” you said quickly.

His face fell, then hardened. He looked… angry? Or, perhaps disappointed.

“I really am sorry. I know I probably should have said something, but…Brenner’s my boss. And, there’s a lot of people who would kill to work for him. So, you have to understand… I mean, Tommy and Billy, they’re real jerks. I can’t stand them, most of the time. So, just know that if you want to punch them in the face, I’d understand.”

You laughed at that, shaking your head.

“Well, just between you and me, I do want to punch them. But… I would really like to keep my job, and actually get a good tip at the end of the night. So, if I can make it through the next -” you glanced at your watch, “- half an hour or so, I’ll be alright. I’m kind of used to it anyway, working here.”

You felt his eyes on you, but didn’t turn to meet his gaze. Then, he said more softly, “I’m sorry to hear that. Really.”

You shrugged.

“It’s fine. But, thank you - most people don’t take the time to say that, I guess.”

A moment of semi-awkward silence fell between you and him, before you added, “But, it’s good to know that I apparently have a nice ass.”

He laughed at that, choking on the smoke he was inhaling.

“Oh God - Billy and Tommy really are the worst. Did you hear that they actually were trying to make a bet about you in there?”

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.

“What kind of bet?”

He suddenly broke eye contact, staring straight ahead as he shook his head vigorously.

“You know what - nevermind, you’d be disgusted -”

“Well now you have to tell me,” you conceded, inching closer. “C’mon, it can’t be that bad -”

“They said if I manage to get you to go home with me tonight, they’d agree on this huge deal with HNL that they’ve been trying to close with our European counterpart for months - they said it because they knew it wouldn’t happen, of course, I don’t really -”

“What would you get?” you asked bluntly.

“Huh?”

“If they thought you won the bet, like, would that be good for your job?”

He scoffs, nodding fervently.

“Um, yes - my yearly bonus would probably quadruple -”

“Then let’s do it,” you said.

His mouth fell open, and he was staring at you like you had three heads.

“Do what, exactly?”

He suddenly looked flushed, frozen in place as he stared at you. You felt a devilish grin spread on your face as you looked back at him, stubbing out the cigarette with the toe of your shoe.

“Here’s what we’re going to do, Harrington.”

*****

You had made sure he arrived back at the table only moments before you. The group of cajoling men were louder now, Tommy slurring his words and Billy in a heated debate with Brenner. Steve flashed a smile at the group, then started sipping his drink as if he had never left.

“What I’m saying is, if we offer them 14 percent -”

“Well, at that rate, we may as well sell them the whole goddamn company -”

“We’re going to have to budge at least a little if we want to make headway, otherwise Upside Tech might outbid us -”

“Harrington!” Tommy cried over the other two men. “Where th’hell ‘ave you been? You left me stranded with these two, they’re actually trying to work right now -”

Then, he spotted you, suddenly flashing a grin that was too wide for your liking.

“Mademoiselle - might I say, I think you’ve only gotten hotter since I last saw you -”

“That was only about twenty minutes ago,” Steve said firmly, cutting Tommy off. “Also, we’re in Italy, not France.”

Tommy waved him off, leaning closer across the table, towards where you stood.

“May I ask, how’re you getting home tonight, little lady?”

You just smiled.

“I’m actually so happy you brought that up - while I appreciate your concern and all, I’ve got that covered.”

You then turned to Steve, who froze in place.

“Ready to go, Steve?” you asked innocently.

All conversation stopped, then, the other men around the table stopped to gape at him. A smug smirk appeared on Steve’s face, and he stood up slowly, smoothing out his suit.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Despite yourself, your heart fluttered at the pet name, as ridiculous as it felt.

“What?” Billy said, his jaw nearly on the floor.

But before they could ask any more questions, Steve was holding out his bent arm, which you graciously hooked yourself through. You pressed yourself into his side, flashing another grin back at the group.

“I’ve left your bill on the table - thank you gentlemen for a wonderful evening, and we hope to see you soon!”

Then Steve surveyed the table, adding, “I suspect you’ll be in touch about negotiation meetings shortly? Since that was the deal and all. I’ll see you at the office on Monday.”

Then, you and Steve turned a corner and headed out the door, to where a car was already waiting for you.

Steve gestured for you to go in ahead of him, opening the backseat door. You slid across, greeting the driver quickly and Steve followed, shutting the door behind you. The second it was closed, you both looked at each other, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh my God - did you see their faces?”

“I’m going to live on that for years,” he added, fighting to breathe. You threw your head back, practically cackling at the memory of their dumbfounded expressions.

“That was amazing,” Steve said, regaining his composure. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it - I think I got off of it more than you.”

“I doubt that.”

You met his gaze, and your breath stopped for a moment. He really was handsome, his honey-brown eyes staring into yours with such sincerity that it was actually overwhelming. You looked away quickly, staring straight ahead.

“Well, if anything, it made my shift more interesting, so thanks,” you said, fiddling with your hands in your lap.

“Yeah, and you just made me my yearly bonus, so thank you.”

After a moment, he cleared his throat.

“So, uh, where do you live? So I can get you home.”

“Oh! Right,” you said. “Um, do you have any ID or anything?”

Steve furrowed his brow, confused.

“Why are you asking?”

“Look, don’t take this personally - I’ve watched way too much Criminal Minds in my life. And, while I’m sure you’re nice and all, I’m not exactly gonna tell a strange man I’ve never met where I live without some precautions. So, I’m going to take a picture of your ID and send it to my roommate, so she knows who to turn in if I end up on the news, yeah?”

Steve just smirked, and pulled out his wallet.

“So, you think I’m strange?”

You shrugged, fighting a smile.

“Obviously, yes.”

Steve chuckled softly, fishing his license out of his wallet.

“Fair enough - as long as you’re not trying to steal my identity or anything.”

“Oh, definitely,” you said sarcastically. “I was actually going to buy a mansion in your name, if that’s alright.”

He laughed, handing you the card as you took a photo. The address was in Indiana - interesting. He was also 30, judging from his birthday - nearly ten years older than you. Also interesting. You handed it back, shooting a quick text to Robin:

I’ll explain later, but in case I get murdered!

You attached the photo and pressed send.

Satisfied, you leaned forward, telling your address to the driver, who nodded and pulled onto the busy city street.

You leaned back in your seat, staring out the window. You passed dimly-lit alleyways and bustling restaurants, groups smoking on the sidewalk and couples kissing on benches as the evening started winding down. The silence in the car is comfortable enough, considering that you met the man beside you a few hours ago. It’s him who breaks the lull in conversation, once again.

“So, why did you do it?” he asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“The bet? Well, kind of - at least, why did you make it look like I - like we -”

You shrugged, shifting to face him.

“Honestly?”

He nodded, gaze fixed on you.

“Well - a few reasons, I guess. I knew it would get those jerks off of my back. And, I knew it would help you, with your bonus and all.”

“And why did you want to help me, though? You know nothing about me.”

“Not true,” you said firmly. “I know one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“You’re kind.”

It was simple, but true - for the type of clientele you usually served, he was a rare breed. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something.

“I mean, you were nice to me, and actually treated me like a person. I can’t say that for a lot of people, not in that place.”

“Oh,” he said softly.

A beat. Two. Then, he added, “Oh no - I didn’t even ask, did you have a car, back at the restaurant? Because we can go back and get it -”

“No, don’t worry about it - I don’t have one. I usually take the bus.”

“Oh - alright.”

You tried to stop yourself from rolling your eyes - Steve probably wouldn’t be caught dead on a bus. Or any public transport, for that matter. But, you kept it within yourself, and turned out towards the window again - the sights were getting more familiar, the buildings a little more run-down - closer to home.

You noticed your phone light up in your lap, and glanced down - a response from Robin.

Um… congrats???? Getting laid???? You’d better tell me EVERYTHING!!!!

You laughed under your breath, and saw Steve move to look at you out of the corner of your eye, curious. Before you could respond to her message, the car came to a halt right outside of your apartment building. You sighed, and turned to face the man beside you.

“Well, this is me. Thank you. For the ride home, I mean - you didn’t really have to do that.”

“Of course I did,” Steve said, waving a hand. “Had to make sure you got home safely and all, it was the least I could do.”

You both looked at each other for a moment, faces soft. You shot him another appreciative smile, and popped open the car door.

“Goodnight, Steve Harrington. Until we meet again!”

You knew the chances of seeing him ever again were slim at best, but it felt like the right thing to say, given the hilarity of the situation. After slamming the door shut, you rooted through your bag for your keys, taking the steps up to your door two at a time. Before heading inside, you turned and waved to the car one more time - Steve wasn’t visible through the tinted windows, but you liked to imagine that he was waving back, maybe even smiling fondly.

******

Two days later, an envelope was pushed through the mail slot in your door. It was Robin who brought it in, plopping it down on the kitchen table as you sipped your coffee.

“What’s that?” you asked.

She shrugged, carding through the other envelopes and flyers.

“Don’t know. But, it’s made out to you. The envelope looks fancy though - I mean, who the Hell puts a wax seal on letters anymore?”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and snatched it up, turning it over in your hands - it was thick, the nice kind of stationary that you had to go out of your way to buy. There was a return address, but it seemed like it was for an office building of some kind, with no name associated. And, right on the center, a red wax seal with an H. You felt your face grow hot, your stomach doing somersaults as you practically tore the thing open.

Inside was a simple piece of paper with a note scrawled on it. After writing out your name, it read:

Thank you again, for the other night. You have no idea how much that helped me out. Plus, it was probably the best time I’ve had at a work event… well, ever. But, since you provided such great service… you really should be tipped appropriately. I also made sure to leave a glowing review with your manager the next day. Buy yourself something nice.

S.H.

You glanced back in the envelope, and gasped - loudly enough that Robin stopped what she was doing, and joined you in her awe.

“Is that -”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “It’s a shit ton of money.”

He had sent a stack of €100 notes - you hadn’t counted yet, but it had to be over €1,000, at least.

“Dude, that’s like, at least two months’ rent right there, right?” Robin asks, flabbergasted.

“I - yeah.”

“Okay, be honest - are you a drug dealer? Is that, like, a side gig you’ve got going?”

You shook your head incredulously, gripping the money - the most cash you had ever held at one time in your life.

“No,” you admitted. “That would be a lot easier to explain.” Steve Harrington, you thought to yourself, what’s your deal?

Notes: a brand new fic! A ton of credit goes to my friend Em, who indulges my fantasies and headcanons with plenty of ideas of her own. Also, I've never been to Rome, so bear with me here. Also, please always read content warnings before reading each part!

Reply if you'd like to be added to the taglist

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #sugardaddy!steve harrington #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #modern steve harrington #don't call me baby fic #sugar daddy fic #stranger things fic #steve harrington/fem!reader

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literaryavenger · 6 months

Text

Broken - part 3

Summary: You find Bucky having a panic attack and do your best to help him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Panic attack. Innocent and broken Bucky. I'd also like to say I never actually had a panic attack but did my best to write the whole process with the research I did. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.1K

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: I'll say it till the end of time: English isn't my first language and this is my first fanfic. I'm thinking of starting to write fanfics because I have so many different ideas and scenarios and I have NO idea where this one is going, so maybe let me know if you'd like to read more from me? Idk. If you find mistakes please feel free to point them out so I can correct them. I'd also love some feedback and constructive criticism Enjoy!

Masterlist

As soon as you left the medbay, you immediately went to the floor where the guest rooms are, determined to check up on Bucky.

You find them all empty, so you decide to check around the tower in all the communal spaces: Living room, kitchen, training rooms, ecc.

Nothing.

At this point you're starting to wonder if he left the tower altogether. "Jarvis?" you decide to ask the AI.

"Yes, Miss Y/LN?" he answer.

"Do you happen to know where Bucky is?"

"He's locked himself in his room." Jarvis promptly answers, leaving you a little confused.

"But I checked the guest rooms, they were all empty."

"Mr Barnes has been assigned a permanent room, like every other Avenger."

"Oh." you say, a little surprised but happy about it "Could you tell me where it is?"

"It's on the 48th floor, room next to yours and in front of Mr. Wilson’s."

"Thank you, J." you say, making your way to the elevator.

"You're welcome, Miss." he says.

It made sense he would get assigned that room. It's one of the last ones left free as the team keeps growing, and it also happens to be the floor where Steve lives along with you and Sam.

You get to your floor and are thankful to see that it's empty, not wanting to confront anybody else today.

You make your way through the corridor and stop at the first bedroom on the left, Bucky's new room.

You gently knock on the door but don't get any type of answer, so you knock a little louder.

Again, nothing.

"Bucky, it's Y/N." you can't hear anything. "

I just wanted to make sure you were okay? Jarvis, are you sure he's in there?" you ask after not hearing a sound.

"Positive, miss Y/LN." you consider what to do for a few seconds.

He obviously doesn't want anyone's company. Or maybe he just doesn't want yours.

After all, you have known him less than a day, and he did left the medbay after you made eye contact and you saw him crying.

You hope he doesn't think you agree with what Tony said, even though you didn't even try to defend him after you learned about his past. But you were just shocked, whatever you expected, it definitely was not that.

Before you could decide to knock again or just leave him alone, you hear a very muffled sob coming from the other side of the door. As much as you do want to respect his privacy, you're getting a little worried.

You try opening the door but it's locked. "Jarvis, override lock on Bucky's room."

"Lock override successful." he says just as you hear the lock click.

You carefully open the door and look towards the bed, but see that it's empty.

You come in and close the door behind you, standing with your back against it and trying to adjust to the newfound darkness in the room without the light from the corridor.

You look around the room trying to locate Bucky when you hear another quiet sob coming from the furthest corner of the room.

You slowly make your way towards it and, as soon as you're close enough, you see Bucky curled up with his arms hugging his legs against his chest and his head buried in his legs.

"Bucky...?" you try to get his attention before getting any closer so as to not scare him, but you’re not sure if he can even hear you.

He's still visibly shaking like before and sobbing very quietly but uncontrollably. you get closer and kneel down right in front of him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder.

His head shoots up in surprise and the look on his face is that of pure fear as he moved back as close as he can against the wall and as far away from you as possible.

you feel bad for scaring him, and pull away a bit further from him, but still close enough so he can see who you are after the initial shock.

You can tell he recognizes you when his face and his shoulders drop some of the tension, although he makes no attempts to get closer to you.

You decide to try and get a little closer after a few moments, so you slowly get back to kneeling right in front of him while he watches your every move but doesn't try to get further away.

His eyes are wide open and his breathing is getting quicker by the second, tears still streaming down his face.

Then you realize he's having a panic attack.

You consider your options for a second. You've never had a panic attack yourself, but you know Tony gets them and, although you've happened to be there for a few of them over the years, you were never the one to calm him down. Getting him wasn't an option either, everything considered.

You could try to get Steve, he might know what to do if this has happened to Bucky before, but seeing Bucky's breathing get quicker and quicker you guess there's not enough time to get him here.

Then suddenly you remembered something helpful, thank fuck.

"Bucky, look at me." you order him quietly so as to not make him panic even more.

He meets your eyes, meaning you have his attention, but shows no signs of calming down.

"Tell me five things you can see." You simply tell him.

He's confused for a moment, but seeing the determined look on your face you guess he decides that he indeed heard correctly what you asked of him and starts looking around.

"I can see..." He starts but seems to have trouble finishing his sentence.

"It's okay, just try to take a deep breath and concentrate on the things around you." You tell him in the softest voice you can while trying not to panic yourself.

"I-I can see a lamp," he starts, looking around. "the door... a bed, a chair, and... a desk?" he finishes, a little unsure of what he's even doing.

"Good. Now, tell me four things you can touch." you tell him, still surprisingly calm.

"I can touch the carpet" he says, slowly touching the fluffy carpet under him. "The dresser, the wall..." he says, touching the dresser at his right and the wall at his left that he was basically hiding between.

"And... Um..." he looks like he has a little trouble coming up with a fourth thing, until he reaches for you, puts his right hand on your shoulder and says "And you."

You chuckle, which seems to calm him just the slightest bit and you keep going. "Alright, tell me three things you can hear."

He stays quiet for a few seconds, listening for sounds you imagine, and then says "I can hear the AC, the rain and the elevator being used."

He then looks at you waiting for the next thing, but you take a second to realize what he said and you're impressed.

You hadn't even realized it's raining and the elevator was all the way across the floor. The hearing on this man. With a small 'damn' that you’re now sure he can hear, you keep going.

"Tell me two things you can smell." you tell him.

You can see his nose scrunch a little, which you find adorable, and he says "I can smell jasmine." looking at the flower vase on his bedside table filled with jasmines, your favorite flowers that Tony tends to leave here and there just for your enjoyment.

"And… strawberries?" he says, a little confused with his answer.

You're confused too until you realize what he's probably smelling. "Oh, it's probably just my shampoo" you say with a chuckle.

He gives you a nod with a smile smile and you say "Now, last thing, tell me one thing you can taste."

He thinks about your words for a second, a look of concentration on his face, then he looks back at you and says, very quietly. "I can taste my tears."

you give him a sad smile and say "That's heartbreaking... But on the bright side, you're not panicking anymore."

He gives you a sad smile of his own, but seems to suddenly realize everything that just happened.

His face drops and he bows his head, refusing to look you in the eye, clearly very embarrassed that you saw him in the middle of a panic attack.

"Are you okay?" you ask him softly, tears still running down his face and his body still trembling a little but visibly more calm.

"I should be the one asking you that..." he answers, his voice a little hoarse from all the crying.

You can't help the smile that makes its way on your face at his concern.

"I'm fine, thanks to you. Are you okay, though?" you ask again.

"You shouldn't be here..." he says quietly.

He's still avoiding your question, so instead you ask "Why not?"

"I could hurt you..." he says in a small, sad voice that breaks your heart.

"Would you hurt me?" you ask.

He frowns and almost immediately says "of course not" still very quietly.

You give him a reassuring smile and say "Then I'm not worried." he finally looks up at you and gives you a small smile.

After a few minutes of silence, you feel the need to ask him. "Was that the first time that happened to you?"

He shakes his head and, when you don't say anything else and just look at him expectantly, he elaborates.

"I've had a few in the last three months, since... You know..." He says with a quiet voice and avoided your gaze. "It was the first time someone helped me though... Steve tried to, but they wouldn't let him..." he finishes.

You know by 'they' he means the guards at the Raft, so you don't ask any more questions about it, knowing he probably wants to forget about that place in the first place.

So instead you get up, look down at him and, extending your arm for him to take, you ask. "Why don't you get some sleep? You look exhausted."

He just nods, slowly taking your hand and getting up with absolutely no help from you. Being a big and strong dude of course he doesn't need it.

You walk to his bed and he sits down, you turn and are about to walk to the door when he stops you, his hand still in yours.

You turn back towards him and see him looking down, which makes you think that maybe you imagined him pulling on your hand?

But then you hear him, barely because of how low his voice is, asking "Can you stay?"

You aren't sure you heard right, so you ask him "You want me to stay with you?"

But he seemed to take that as you thinking he was crazy for even suggesting something like that because he very quickly drops your hand and says "You don't have to, you probably have enough of me after the panic attack, it's alright you can go." and just lays down on the bed, turning his back on you.

You stand there for a moment, thinking of what to do before you decide that not only is it clear that Bucky was desperately reaching out, not wanting to be alone, but you don't want to be alone either.

And, right now, it feels like Bucky is your only friend left in the tower. The only one you aren't pissed at, at least.

You move closer to his bed and quietly say "Bucky... I can stay, if you want me to."

He turns around to face you, a little shocked so you give him a smile to let him know you're serious.

He scoots over to make space for you and, after taking off your shoes and without either one of you saying another word, you lay down on your back.

After several minutes of silence you hear him quietly say "Thank you." which makes you turn on your side so you're facing him, only to find him already facing you.

"Anytime." you whisper back with a smile, which he returns.

You stay like that for a little while, just looking at each other, and eventually you fall asleep, his beautiful, freakishly blue eyes being the last thing you see.

Bucky watches you sleep for a bit until he also falls into a quiet sleep, with you very unaware of the fact that this is the first time in years, if not decades, that Bucky actually gets a full night of peaceful sleep.

Part 4

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x platonic reader #avengers x platonic!reader

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 7 months

Text

The Purple Sign. Part VI

Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu x GN! Reader

Description: There is a Purple Sign on your door. Part VI.

Fluff. Dazai Pampering

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

You ran into Dazai right before you went into your room. He leaned on the wall and grinned, looking at you.

"[Y/N], my dear Iris Flower! I have been waiting for you." His dark brown eyes shined, when he looked at you. You tilted your head.

"Osamu? Do you need anything?"

Dazai took a step towards you and gave you a side hug. He put his chin on your head.

"Nothing much, just want to go for a walk with you. Come on, let's go, it will be fun!" Dazai gave you his best 'puppy dog eyes'.

You try to look away, but Dazai stepped to the side, so he still was in your line of sigh. You close your eyes and pinch Dazai's nose.

"These eyes should be considered a mass destruction weapon, you knew that?" asked you, still keeping your eyes closed. Dazai didn't answer. You feel, that he put his arms around your chest. Then, you felt his breath on your chin. Then you feel a little kiss right above your lips.

You immediately open your eyes. And stare right into Dazai's pleading brown eyes.

"Please~ My cute Iris Flower~" sang Dazai, squeezing you. You nodded and mewl.

"Give me a minute..."

Dazai's grin became bigger, and, after squeezing you one more time, he stepped back.

"I will wait for you!"

Dazai skipped down the hall.

You opened your bedroom door and walked inside. You mumble under your breath.

"People of the planet, I present you Dazai Osamu, Youngest Leader in the History of the Mafia, person with the darkest blood..."

You sighed.

"And a person, who will always hide, if he needs to be comforted..."

That happened every time Dazai felt down. While others will simply go to your room with The Purple Sign in their hand (or will be brought here by kids, in Oda's case), Dazai won't admit, that he wants to be pampered... That he can be vulnerable.

He would annoy you into handing out with him. And, no matter, how much you assure him, that he can stay, he never went into your room. Never asked to be pampered.

You looked around. You came closer to emergency shelf and took everything, that you need.

Few normal blankets. Few electric blankets. Two pairs of warm cozy clothes. And, from a drawer with Dazai's name on it, you take a bag with tokens for the arcade machine.

Maybe, this time, he will stay. You hopped, your plan will work.

_____

Right before leaving the house with Dazai, you take The Purple Sign from the library and put into your pocket.

_____

You two were simply walking, having no particular destination in mind. At least, it seems that way. You spoke, taking a bag with tokens from your backpack.

"Osamu, do you want to visit the arcades?"

Dazai was looking at something at the window display. His gaze caught your reflection and freeze on the token beg. Dazai blinked, then nodded carefully.

"Why not? Lead the way, Iris Flower."

______

The arcade was small, but have surprisingly good variety of games. You and Dazai sat before one arcade machine.

Tokens were divided equally between two of you.

"Mario Bros Arcade" might not be the most existing game for Dazai, but, you two still can have fun.

The game begun.

You were controlling Luigi and Dazai was controlling Mario.

You didn't speak much for the first twenty phases, just exchanging some 'careful', 'attack that one' and 'good job', from time to time.

On twenty-first phase, you finally spoke.

"I was talking to others lately. And I learned something interesting."

Dazai pretend to be focused only on game.

You carefully nudge Dazai's shoulder with your forehead.

"Thank you, Osamu." Dazai flinch, he looked shocked. Truly shocked.

"Thank you for gathering others, while you still were back in your previous world."

Dazai was opening and closing his mouth, like a fish out of the water.

"Thank you, for being the one, who proposed others to stay with me."

Dazai took one step back and try to hide his face. The Game Over Screen appeared on the Arcade Machine display.

"Thank you for being my friend."

Dazai let out a small whine. His whole face was redder, that ripe tomato.

For one minute he was just standing here, covering his face. Finally, he spoke.

"I... I... [Y/N]..."

You put your hand on Dazai's shoulder.

"I knew, that you don't want to be seen as vulnerable. I knew, that you don't want to show weakness. But, Osamu, you are my friend. I am worried about you. Please, let me help you."

You took The Purple Sign from your pocket and hold it towards Dazai.

Dazai looked you in the eyes. Then slowly took The Purple Sign from you. For a moment, he simply holds it in his hand.

Then he gives it back.

"When we return, please, put in on your door, My dear Iris Flower."

You smiled.

Dazai's gaze became softer.

"So, how the whole 'Purple Sign' works?"

You take two tokens from the bag.

"First, we can play a few more games. If you enjoy them, of course."

_____

At the end, you two played a few more games, both in co-op and against each other.

While Dazai managed to win against you and got more points, when you were playing together.

It was fun.

____

You two were sitting in a hot pot/barbecue restaurant. Dazai was talking, while you were cooking crab meat for him.

"I wanted to hurt you."

You put a few pieces of pork on the grill.

"But, after I knew you better, back into our old world, I try to make it all better... Gather others. Train Akutagawa and Atsushi. Always was on my guard, making sure, that no one, who wanted to hurt you, get into this world..."

Dazai sighs.

"But... After knowing you in reality... I feel so guilty for wanting to hurt you... I... I was..."

"You were planning to torture me, remembering your past in the mafia."

You took cooked pieces of crab meat from the pot and put it on Dazai's plate. Then you put grilled pork alongside them.

"Osamu, as long as I know, you weren't the only one, who wanted to hurt me."

You put more meat on a grill.

"And I will repeat as much as I need, I am not blaming you. All of you were in a terrible situation, and it was understandable, why you would want to hurt me."

You stir the hot pot, making sure, that crab meat is cooked perfectly.

"I was an Entity, away from your previous world. I was someone, who watched your lives, who knew your secrets."

You start filling your plate with cooked food. Dazai spoke.

"Still... What if we got into your world before we learn more about you? Before we changed our mind about hurting you?"

You looked Dazai in the eyes.

"Then I would spoke to you, apologies and promise to never read about your lives of watch about it."

Dazai picked up pieces of crab meat.

"But, what if we didn't believe you?"

You raise an eyebrow.

"Do you think I could trick you, Ranpo, Allan and Fyodor?"

Dazai didn't answer, he started eating his food.

"What I mean, Osamu, that I am not mad. I don't want you all to live in the past. Let's move forward together."

Dazai was still silent. Then, suddenly, he picked up crab meat you have on your plate and ate it.

"Will think about it, after I ate all the crab meat you have."

You scoff, ignoring Dazai's chuckles.

______

You take a little stroll in the woods, before returning home.

You put The Purple Sign on your door and both you and Dazai enter your room.

With purple lights on, you quickly arrange a 'blanket nest' from normal blankets and electric blankets. After you two changed in comfy clothes, you turned on the kettle.

While water was boiling, you change Dazai's bandages. You kissed every scar he had. Two on the collar bones, one on the right arm, one on the left arm.

The water was boiled.

You and Dazai sit on your bed, snuggling against each other under the blankets, drinking tea.

From time to time, Dazai kissed the crown of your head and your earlobe. You, in return, kissed his chin and cheek.

After that, you two fall asleep, cuddling each other. You were warm under all this blankets, laying near each other, holding each other.

You were happy to have BSD. Cast in your life. And you were grateful for Dazai, for bringing them all together. And to you.

_____

A/N: Japanese irises symbolize elegance, admiration, strength, hope, courage, and health. In the language of flowers, they are also associated with trust, valor, and wisdom, in addition to loyalty, good news, glad tidings, and the arrival of happiness.

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #self aware dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai

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honeymoonblues · 8 months

Text

Crash!

Remus Lupin x Professor!Reader

Summary: You're the new History of Magic professor. (Gender neutral reader).

Word count: 882

A/N: This is completely self-indulgent. Let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

Not every first meeting was interesting. Truth to be told, most weren’t. And Remus Lupin has never considered himself to be an interesting person, either.Getting to know you, however, felt like crashing against a wall. Because that’s exactly what happened the first time he met you.

In his defense, he got distracted while being a true gentleman, showing you the way to your classroom.He understood first-hand the nerves that came with the first day as a professor, after all, it was only his second year teaching at Hogwarts.

When you approached him, a radiant smile on your lips and asking directions, he suddenly he remembered what Minerva mentioned on one of her letters she sent him. ‘The new History professor!’ he thought.

Remus had never imagined he’d seen the day when professor Binns decided to stop teaching, but it had happened, and in the middle of last year, too. Binns had died while sleeping in the staff room more than a hundred years before, and he was already old when that happened! But his ghost just showed up to the next class like nothing happened, and he didn’t intend to stop teaching for a long, long time.

So, when Minerva said they had finally found a substitute for him, Remus assumed they would be an alive version of old Binns, or even another boring ghost. It was more than a pleasant surprise when you showed up. Young, colorful and full of energy.

He thought he was doing a fantastic first impression. He introduced himself, not stuttering once, walking alongside you and giving you a brief tour. He was captivated by the fact that you were not from the UK. Are there no history professor in the country? He wondered. But he was definitely not complaining. You had a distinct accent, and a sparkling way of talking, as if you were vibrating with enthusiasm.

“It’ll do the students a great good, you know.” He smiled at you. “Learning a little history, I mean.”

“But... I thought there was another professor before me, that’s what i was told!” You looked at him, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Oh yes, yes. But you see, professor Binns was, uh...” He shook his hand slightly, gesturing ‘so-so’. “Old.”

You mouthed a little ‘oh’ and nodded, understanding that an old-school teacher could get a little boring to the kids.

After showing you around the great hall, the staff room, the main hallways, and spending a good few minutes trying to help you figure out the moving staircases, you were finally on the way to your classroom and office. You two were talking non-stop the whole time, and he was glad to find you were quite the chatterbox.

It had been a long time since Remus had the opportunity to meet someone new, a potential friend, and he felt full of energy for once.

That’s when it happened. He was already leaving your classroom, after he’d been assured a few times that yes, you would be fine to move in without help, and no, you didn’t need anything else, thanks. He kept walking forward, but looking back at you, saying that he’ll see you at dinner. He felt pretty confident he was directed straight to the open door, but when he looked straight ahead, his nose was directly met with the door frame. Missing the exit for a few good centimeters.

You had the good grace not to laugh at Remus when he squeaked at the impact, but in the haste of getting close to help him, you stumbled and almost crashed into him. That got a fantastic laugh out of you, and he started giggling almost immediately, still covering his nose with his hand, his embarrassment slowly subduing. You both had to take a moment to recover after that.

Trying to quit grinning, you approached him.

“Goodness, do you feel alright?”

“Yes, of course! Don’t you worry... See? It was just a little bump.” He uncovered his nose to show it to you, bloodless and seemingly normal. “I had worse, I promise.” And he smiled brilliantly.

‘Of course you did.’ You thought, admiring his smile and the scars that littered his face. Trying to appease the curiosity that you felt bubbling up inside you. You beamed at him. Realizing, at that same moment, that you truly wanted to know more about this man.

Remus finally left your classroom, he said goodbye one more time, assuring you that yes, his nose was completely fine, and no, he didn’t need any help, thanks. Then, he walked all the way to his own office smiling, forgetting about the pain almost without realizing it.

Oh, how long had it been since he felt like this?

You too, even occupied with unpacking and organizing, couldn’t help but giggle at the memories of the morning. Most of the nervousness you were feeling earlier was smoothed, and the only thing left in you was excitement. It was definitely a great start.

Even when your first meeting hadn’t been all that eventful (if not quite embarrassing), and while Remus still considered himself a boring person, he was sure none of you would would forget the first impression of each other. (He was also incredibly glad he had the whole year to get to know you.)

#remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus x reader #oneshot #x reader #my writing

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cheynovak · 3 months

Text

Forbidden Hearts Part 2

Soldier Boy x F/Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Alcohol, Family trauma, abuse, smut, losing virginity, +18

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

Words: 7400

Make sure to read Part 1 of this story

*Does not follow The Boys storyline!*

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Y/N and Ben (Soldier boy) both grew up in South Philly. Ben’s father took an interest in Y/N’s mother a few years after her father died. By the time they made their relationship public both you and Ben were young teens. As young kids you two saw each other as siblings but the more time they spend time together, the more Ben realised his feelings weren’t normal sibling love. But what happens when Y/N reaches the age where her mother wants to find a good suiter for her only daughter.

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1941

Ben’s father completely ignored his son after the events that happened 5years ago. In his eyes his son had taken one step too far. Being the disgrace he was, causing Y/N to send to an all-girl boarding school. According to her mother to regain her manners and learn the values of society.

Ben’s father pretended to the outside world that Ben needed to learn the values of life by working in a factory. While in real life he cut all connections to his son, even financially, if it was up to him, Ben had to move out, considering he was an adult know.

Y/N’s mother pleaded for him to stay, not because she cared, no, what would the society think?

These events made Ben day drink more and more, just to cope with the humiliation. It started with sneaking liquor out of his father’s cabinet to staying at the bar with his coworkers, drinking till he had to work again.

Only coming home to sleep once in a while but leave before anyone could see him and the state that he was in.

Ben walked out of the bar, noticing a neat woman standing a crossed the street, holding small purse in front of her flowery dress, too drunk to realise it was Y/N, but sober enough to think this wasn’t a place for a respectable woman to wander around.

His friend and co-corker Carlos whistled at her, which made Ben laughed, while he kept walking, almost late for his first shift.

“Is that how you let your friends threat me, Benjamin?” You spoke in a sweet voice, Ben stopped. Carlos eyes got wide, slapping Ben on his shoulder, “you know this lady?” - “Birdy?” he whispered under his breath. Afraid to turn around.

It had been ages since he heard your sweet voice. Part from the dreams he had when he was blacked out in his room.

Once he did turn around, he saw his ears didn’t deceive him. “Birdy!” he walked fast towards you. Glad to see you came home.

You noticed his physique had changed, he looked tired, skinnier but when his arms wrapped around you, you could still feel the strength in them.

You could smell the alcohol and dirt on him, a huge contrast to the Ben you last saw. “How are you?” You ask while being overwhelmed by his hug, barley answering it. He felt your awkwardness and slightly loosened up. “I’m ok, how are you?”

Ben looked her up and down, wondering what changed in you, you still looked the same. Part from being 5 years older. Clearly developed all the right female curves. “I am good.” you smile polite, looking at the man a crossed the street who were staring at the two of you.

“Where have you been? I thought you’d come home after 4 years?” Ben asked, pulling your attention back to him.

“Well, I met someone.” This clearly took Ben by surprise. “In an all-girl school?” You point to the car waiting “Frank my fiancé is the son of one of the teachers. We met during school, he is the reason I stayed a little longer.” You could see the shock on his face.

“I wrote about him, didn’t mom tell you?” - “No, eh I haven’t seen anyone at home in a while.” You thought about those words for a second. “Work.” he added shy.

Realising you wrote about Frank over months ago, he never not once had a family diner since then? “Well, he is coming over tonight for dinner. Why don’t you join us? Get to know him?” You asked hopeful.

“Yeah, why not.” His answer made you smile. “I have to work now. But I’ll be there tonight.” Giving you a small peck on your cheek, which leaves you flustered. While the men on the street started to tease Ben as he rejoined them.

Your gloved hand moved over the spot his lips just touched. You still felt the stubble of his unshaved beard lingering on your skin. God give me strength to fight this. You heard the car horn honk, which made you move toward it while still looking back.

That evening you and Frank sat next to each other, your mother and stepfather on each side of the table. It was late, your hope on seeing Ben were gone. The men talked about politics while your mother kept rambling on about the newest fashion in Philly, since you were gone for so long.

Your mind drifted back to Ben,

It has been so long since you two saw each other. Why wouldn’t he join us? Maybe he is mad I didn’t write to him.

He must understand that the situation we got in wasn’t healthy. Maybe he took a night shift, maybe he is working. Yes, that is probably it.

Or maybe he just didn’t want to know you anymore. No, he was glad he saw you this morning.

Maybe he was just too drunk, he looked waisted and unhealthy. He was slim, almost skinny, looking tired like a drunk old man in a young body.

“Benjamin! What a surprise.” Your mother’s words pulled you out of your thoughts. Turning towards Ben. “Y/N invited me, I’m sorry I’m late, I had no idea what time dinner began.” His father turned his head like he smelled something disgusting. He greeted your mom like he saw her every week.

Your heart clenched in your chest. Ben took the time to clean up. You wanted to give him a polite hug, but he pulled you in just a little too tight. His scent filled your nose, a mixture of cologne with vanilla and tabaco... It reminded you of... home.

One of his hands held you under your shoulders the other a little lower on her back, moving down. his fingers moved over to where the curve of your behind started, back over your hip, he kneaded softly when he pulled himself away, looking in your eyes.

Leaving you startled, again.

5 years... 5 years you worked to bury all the feelings you had. Was it easy no, but you were able to manage. You learned how a woman should behave. And with one touch he opened the lock.

You thought you were strong enough to hide the past, but Ben was, no is still your forbidden fruit.

You could see in his eyes he felt the same way. For a second the room went dark. Seeing nothing but his green eyes staring in yours, when he broke contact, he asked. “And who is this?”

His words pulled you back. “Frank meet Benjamin, our oldest.” You mother introduced him like he was your brother. Giving you a look while the men shook hands. “ Frank is Y/N’s fiancé.” She added, making a statement. “Oh really.” He looked surprised at you, knowing very well who Frank is.

“Benjamin, why don’t you take a seat, I’ll let Sheila bring a plate.” The man that sat in front of you looked nothing like the man you saw this morning. Frank and his father picked up the conversation, every time Frank wanted to include Ben his dad made sure he cut if off.

Frank noticed the awkwardness between the two men. And you noticed how Ben’s manner started to slip away every time he asked Sheila to fill up his glass. “Thank you darling.” He winked at her. Ben’s eyes kept looking in your direction while you tried to avoid eye contact.

“So.” Ben started, “Why didn’t any of you told me Y/N was engaged, or coming home?” he took yet another gulp of his glass. “Benjamin, darling you were nearly never home.” Your mother tried to hush him. Ben smirked.

“ The only reason for me to stay was taken away from me, let’s see about 5 years ago. By you if I recall correctly." He bit towards your mother.

“Ben!” You interfered “No no, Birdy. It is true, my dad won’t even look at me, for what... happened.” his eyes glanced over to Frank who had no idea where this drama came from.

“Your mother never kept me up to date on your wellbeing, neither one cared where I’ve been all this time, when I came home, or if I even had a decent meal.” He looked at his father and then back at your mom. “And when I do pop up, because you visited me at work and were so polite to ask me for diner. She pretends her long lost son came home.”

“Guess what sweetheart, you hated me from the moment you laid your eyes on me. Afraid I would soil your perfect little daughter, I was the fucking devil in disguise.” He stood up and kept rambling his frustrations towards your mother.

“The one who ruined your perfect daughter for society. While all I did was let her live! Take her away from this fucking golden cage! I helped her breath while you were suffocating her.” He slammed his hand on the table.

“Benjamin!” You stood up as well “That is enough!” - “Oh, not nearly!” he matched your tone. “Look at you! Pretending you're someone you're not, with a man you don’t even love.” - “How dare you! I grew up Ben, while you got drunk, I turned my life around, how about you?”

“Oh my life did turn!” Ben walked around the table, slightly more aggressive than he meant, knocking a chair down.

“Look at you! You look like an up-tide bitch from the exact same society we used to hate! This entire evening you, not once, gave Frank the look I know you give when you care for someone, love someone. This entire act of yours is a facade, a lie to convince yourself you are a proper young woman ready to get knocked up to fucking ruin her life!”

He took a breath.

“Ready to play the whore of a nice aristocratic man.”

*Smack*

The anger inside you made your hand hit the side of his cheek. His head slightly turned away, he blinked a few times before looking back at you. “I think it’s time for you to leave.” he took in your words.

He nodded slowly, you could see the anger in his eyes dime. “Look me in the eye and tell me you truly love him. Tell me you want nothing to do with me and I leave.”

“You know I will never turn my back to you Ben, but the way you just acted is not ok. I asked you tonight to meet my fiancé, not to blame our parents for all that went wrong. I won’t let you ruin my relationship.” He took a step closer “That’s not an answer.”

“That is all I can give you, Ben.” his hand moved a piece of hair out of your face. You tried so hard not to lean into his touch. His hand stayed at the back of your head. While his lips touched your hair softly. “Bye Birdy.” He whispered.

You couldn’t hold back a deep breath while you felt his touch, your eyes were still closed when you felt his body move passed you.

You saw the horror in your mother’s eyes before your own vision blurred with tears.

By the time you turned around he was already gone. You decided to help Sheila in the kitchen not ready to discuss all that had happened here. But Frank needed answers. He walked in the kitchen asking Sheila to leave you two for a second.

“Benjamin is not your brother... is he?” Frank asked while he stood behind you. Your kept looking at the dishes afraid to look him in the eye. “No, our parents married when we were teens.” - “And he was kind of the rebel of the family?” - “He had a hard time when his mother died.”

Frank hummed. “And you fell for the bad boy?” - “No” You thought about your next words carefully. “I fell for my best friend.” turning back to Frank. “He made me smile, something I hadn’t done since my dad died.”

You could see that Frank didn’t shame you. He listened and asked, two things that made you like him. You knew he was a good man. “I had hoped Ben had changed. Grown up.” - “It seems that he still cares for you. Thinking you’re the same girl you were when you left.” Frank stated while he pulled you in a hug.

You couldn’t help yourself but to think that although Frank is sweet and caring, his hugs don’t have the same healing quality as Ben’s had. Your sorrow didn’t melt away like they used to years ago. Sure he was kind, sweet and caring. But was that enough for you?

“Sweety, I knew I wasn’t your first love.” Frank pulled you back “And I won’t ask you to compare us to what you had, nor will I ask you to forget your past. But I ask you to be honest to yourself, to me.” He kissed your head.

“And know, if you chose us, I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

Later that night you were laying in your old bed, in your old room thinking about all that had happened tonight. How lucky you had to be that Frank didn’t leave you after that, how much patience he had, when you heard a stumble in the hall.

You got out of bed and walked to the grand hall, standing at the top of the stair in a silk robe that covered your night gown. Seeing Ben waisted trying to get up the stairs. He stopped walking when he noticed you looking at him.

“I-it’s late... what are you doing up.” Ben asked you, walking back up. “You woke me.” you lied. At first you thought he would just walk past you, but he seemed to change his mind midway and turned back to you. “Where is prince charming?” - “Home.” You ignored the sarcasm in his voice. He seemed to like that answer.

Ben moved closer walking you back against the wall. “Does that mean you two didn’t... do the deed yet?” Your eyes widened, cheeks blushing. He waited a little for an answer that never came, while his eyes roamed your body, his eyes lingered on your curves, without shame.

“Ben...” was all you could whisper flustered unable to form a real answer. His arms locked you in between him and the wall. His lips moved to your ear. “If I had known that this would have happened to us, I wouldn’t held back that night.” He whispered with a hoars voice.

You couldn’t hold back the shiverers breath leaving your mouth, his lips moved over your cheekbones. He didn’t kiss you, but you could feel his lips move on your skin. His head touched yours.

He held his eye closed “I think of that night, all the time.” Ben’s hand cupped your face, making you look in his eyes. You could see the heat had darkened his eyes. “I really wanted to make you mine that night.” His lips closed in on yours. “I still want to.” he said almost soundless.

“Ben please don’t.”

He heard the fear in your voice. You weren’t afraid to kiss him, you weren’t scared of him. No, you were scared of yourself, of the passion you felt for him. Afraid you wouldn’t be able to hold back and throw away all you had worked for over these years.

His eyes asked the question he didn’t spoke. “You promised me my first time would be special.” He grinned, using his own words against him. “Match point Birdy.” His lips left a soft peck on the temple of your head. “Goodnight.”

You stood there, the heat still roaming your body. Unable to move as you watch him walking to the room next to you. You had no idea how long you stared at the closed door before you stood in front of it.

You knocked twice before he opened the door, you immediately noticed Ben had already removed his shirt and shoes. “I can’t give you want you want you know that right?” He smiled his boyish grin, the one that made your heart fluster.

“I’ll take what I can get.”

Your lips crashed on to his, your body melted against him. His hands roamed your body, kneaded at the curves he admired minutes ago as he guided you into his room. The air filled with heavy breaths and soft moans.

Your body moved on autopilot, kissing his lips, nipping his neck, finger slightly pulling and scratching the back of his head. Ben sat down on the end of the bed, he took of your robe, lifting your gown so you could straddle his thighs.

Ben was already hard, you could feel it against your silk panties. His hands pulling and kneading on your hips and behind. The grinding feeling him against your heated core made you moan out his name and pull his head closer to your chest as your head falls back.

“Fuck Birdy, keep moaning like that and I won’t be able to hold back.”

He kissed your neck and moved over to the top of your breasts. His hands moved the straps. He looked for your permission before he pulled them down, admiring you. “So beautiful.” He looked flustered when he cupped them, twisting your already hardened nipples soft between his thumb and index.

His lips moved down, kissed just the top one breast before moving over to the other. Your eyes still closed while your fingers tugged on his hair. He took you by surprise when he took a nipple in his mouth.

Making you grind your hips out of pleasure moaning his name again. Causing him to growl under his breath. Turning you over to lay down on the bed underneath him. “Look at you, so needy, so hot.” You could feel his hands move in between your thighs.

You hold back his hand when he almost touched your core. Part ashamed of the wetness that had formed in between your legs, part unsure what would happen next. “Don’t worry, you’ll like it.” He kissed your lips. “It won’t hurt.”

Your hand let’s go of his wrist, nodding slow, giving in to his touch. His fingers moved over the wet silk before they moved inside your panties. His fingers moved through your wet folds, spreading the wetness before he found the bundle of nerves and moved in circles.

“Oh Ben...” You back arched at his touch, knees moving not knowing how to cope with the sudden pleasure. “You like it?” Oh he knew you liked it, he could see how your body acted, how he made your body act.

You nodded rapidly while looking needy at him. “Good... don’t hold back Birdy, let me hear how much you like it.” One finger dipped down inside you. Making you grab for his biceps with an open mouth moaning.

“Thats it.” He kissed your neck. “That’s what I need from you.” You could feel the coil in your stomach burn, making you clench around Ben’s finger. “Ben I.. I feel.” - “I know let go, it’s ok, It will feel good.” your head fell back again, Ben’s fingers started to move faster and harder until you couldn’t hold back anymore.

The moans that came out of you sounded like prayers of joy. Ben kept working you all the way through. “Fuck you sound so good screaming my name.” He said while kissing you again after you came back to earth.

Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him fully over your body. Not getting enough of him. “Birdy?” - “Hm?” - “Can I try one more thing?” You looked at him with questions in your eye. “I heard about it, but never tried before. It’s supposed to feel really good.”

You looked nervous. “I guess so.” Ben’s lips moved down to your stimulated core. His hands moved your thighs open. You felt the blush on your cheeks but were unable to look away when his lips kissed your clit.

His eyes locked your when his tongue licked a long stripe ending with a little flick at your clit. You decided to let go of your nerves and enjoy all Ben had to give you. Your body moved back in autopilot. Moaning his name, grinding against his mouth pulling on his hair.

Which made Ben moan under his breath, he loved to look of you. So, love drunk, in so much heat. He wished he could fuck you after this, but he knew you would want to wait for marriage. This night wouldn’t change a thing, he knew that, you gave your word to Frank to marry him.

And you were stubborn enough to continue, even though this felt right. You and him that was what you wanted, what your bodies needed, Ben was determined to make you think of him every time Frank kissed or touched you.

Maybe even think of him when you felt bold enough to touch yourself on a lonely night. Fuck his dick throbbed at that idea.

The heat in you started to boil again, you now knew what was to happen and you let your orgasm wash over you, Ben tugged your hips closer to him while your legs closed around him. Trembling with pleasure.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand before he placed himself next to you. “How was it?” he really wanted to hear her say it. “Amazing.” She answered still recovering from her orgasm. He smiled sincere when he pulled her close to him. “Good.”

You felt his hard dick against your thigh. “Ben?” - “Yeah?” you looked up at him. “Tell me how I can make you feel good.” Ben looked at you for a second trying to process your words. “Y-you don’t need to Birdy, I enjoyed this.”

“No really, tell me?” Ben’s face changed, he smiled soft, he turned on his back to undo his pants, before his hand moved yours down to his pulsing dick. “Take it, wrap your hand around me... and, oh like that move.” He could barely answer through the breaths that were leaving his body.

One hand moved under his head, while the other pulled your head on to his chest while you were pumping his cock in your hand. You noticed how he hissed in pleasure when your thumb moved over his tip of when your wrist turned slightly and added more grip.

You kissed his chest, your teeth graced his nipple while he whispered and encouraged you. “That’s it, oh fuck Y/N and I thought you were a good girl.” you look in his eyes “You like it don’t you, playing with my hard dick.” You shake your head before kissing his stomach.

“No, I love it.” you say flirty before you lick a stripe from in between his hips to his belly button. You felt bold noticing you found his pleasures. His hand grips the back of your head, it took him everything not to push your head further down.

His thumb moved over your lips, even though you were inexperienced you knew what the look in his eyes meant. You slowly kissed his hard dick right under your hand. You could see Ben get impatient, trying not to force you into doing something but he wants nothing more than to feel your lips wrap around his cock.

When your tongue licked a strip from his ball to the tip, licking of the precum he couldn’t hold back and moan your name loud. Making you repeat the action. “You like that taste huh?” his voice sounded hoars. You nod in response.

You looked at him when you felt bold enough to finally take him in your mouth. The grip on your head tightened. Bingo. His hand guided you up and down his shaft to a speed he liked. You kept working with your hand and mouth, unable to take him completely.

You could hear him getting close by the sound of his breaths. By surprise he pulled your head back up and closer to him. His lips connected with yours while his hand moved over to yours, grabbing and pumping with you.

Ben buried his face in the crock of your neck when you felt his hips buck up. Not long after you felt his warm seed covering your hands. He looked at you when his orgasm faded. Kissing you again with a long hard and deep kiss. “That felt amazing Y/N, thank you.” - “My pleasure.” you tease and blush.

After you both cleaned up you grabbed your dress to put it on. “Leave that.” Ben said sitting in bed waiting for you. His elbows on his knees, he held his hand out. “I want to feel your body against me tonight.” Unbelievable how nervous that made you. After all that had just happened this made you nervous.

But you listened and accepted his hand, which pulled you into his arms, caressing your back. “Are you tired?” - “Yeah I am.” - “Well, it’s pretty late you should get some sleep.” - “Do you need to work tomorrow?” You looked up at him. “I just lost my job.” he said embarrassed. “What?”

“I said I couldn’t work tonight. And they fired me.” - “Because I asked you to diner?” He nodded. “Ben! You should have told me you had to work. I didn’t want you to lose your job for me!” - “It was worth it.” He grinned.

The next morning you woke up from the sun on your face, checking the clock noticing you slept in. Which was unusual for you. The events from last night seemed like a dream. Until you felt Ben’s arm over your waist, pulling you in against his torso. “Goodmorning.” He mumbled sleepy while kissing your shoulder.

“Fuck.” you whispered in a breath when the guilt washed over you. “Not the answer I expected.” He joked but when he saw the fear on your face, he got serious. “What’s wrong?” His hand held your cheek. “What’s wrong?” you echoed. “Last night Ben. That should have never happened.”

“You regret it? While we both know that was inevitable.” - “No Ben, we could have ... tried harder.” - “We’ve been holding back, putting our feelings aside for years now. Years Y/N. When are you finally going to give in and be happy?” he asked while you were dressing yourself next to the bed.

“I made a promise, I gave my word.” You took a deep sigh. “I’m getting married.” He nodded clearly hurt. “Don’t, you’re not married yet, he isn’t from Philly you never have to see him again!”

“I can’t.” - “No, you won’t. You’ve been playing with me for years what’s one more night? Right?” His words shocked you. “Ben... that’s not true! I care for you, deeply.” - “Prove it.” You shook your head not knowing what he meant.

Ben grabbed your hand, kneeling in bed the sheets barely covering his lap. “ Marry me.” Those words took time to sink in. “What?” - “You heard me, marry me, Birdy.” All you could do was shook your head. Not believing what he just did.

“No, I can’t hurt Frank. He is a good man. I gave him my word and no matter what you think I do care for him.” Ben let go nodding while he got up his shoulder next to yours. “But you can hurt me?” He held the door open for you. “I’m sorry" you whisper to his shoulder trying to hug him, but all he did was look away, standing frozen.

The next weeks were pure horror, Ben nearly never slept at home, he wasn’t there anymore for dinner. He was clearly ignoring you. Only tonight he joined. Both Frank and your mother noticed you being quiet. “Are you ok love?” Frank had asked countless times this week. Which you answered with a soft smile and a nod.

During tonight's dinner your thoughts drifted away while you kept looking at him.

Ben is right, I used him. Maybe if he had asked me to marry him years earlier. No, it’s your fault you should have stayed away from him. You promised yourself you would leave him be. He deserves more than you, you’re not what he needs.

You are the reason he is pissed. I should have never visited him at his work. He lost everything because of me. I saw the pain in his eyes. He feels betrayed... and he is right. I hurt him. And even if I wanted to marry him, he just asked it because he knows I want to get married. He would do it for me not for himself.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Ben’s voice. “I found a new job. Which means I'll be even less home.” For the first time tonight, he looked in your eyes. “I’m joining the army. They are looking for new recruits, something about tests and volunteers. It pays well.”

You dropped your cutlery on your plate. “You what?!” Your face turned to your mothers who seemed as surprised as you. For the first time in years his father spoke towards him. “The army wants you? Seems like they are in a lot of despaired to accept you. Not even man enough to stay here, when it’s getting too hot under his feet, he runs.”

“Ben? You do now there’s a war in Europe, right? What if they ship you overseas?” - “That is the plan. And my mind is set. I’m leaving tomorrow.” He finished his drink and got up. You looked back at Frank. “I’m sorry but I have to...” - “Yeah you should go.”

“Ben... wait up!” You ran after him, Ben had packed his bag before diner, he had taken it to leave. Halfway down the stairs he stops in front of you. “Why?” you ask with tears in your eyes. “Because of us?” - “There is no us Y/N, you made that very clear.” - “That doesn’t mean I want you gone!” - “You you you, not the entire world revolves around your nice little ass princess!”

“Don’t be like that, please.” you hold his hands. “Please don’t go.” - “Give me one good reason.” - “I love you.” you blur out in tears. “ No, you don’t not really, you are in love with the idea of love Y/N.” -”I’m begging you Ben.” he took one step closer, his free hand moved over your face. Your tears streamed down.

“Do you really think I would have sneaked out that night, miss my own debutant ball if I didn’t care? T-that I would have stayed with you a couple of nights ago, if I didn’t love you?” your hand grabbed his on your face. “Do you, deep down, believe I would have given in to you If I didn’t love you?”

“Please stay, I want, no I need you.” you begged realising the mistakes you made. “Don’t make this harder than it already is Birdy.” He said before he kissed the top of your head.

Without caring for anything in the world you pulled him closer by the back of his neck. Your lips crashed onto his, while you stood on your toes. Both your hands holding his head, afraid to let go. His empty hand on your back, when you stood back on your heels, he followed not breaking the kiss. It felt sloppy and rushed, despaired.

When you do let go of him your eyes stayed closed “Please” But once again you feel him walking past you. When you opened your eyes, you saw Frank standing in the door.

You knew the next conversation was going to be hard. But to your surprise he gave you time to think.

You tried to give it time, but half a year later you decided Frank wasn’t the one for you. And even though you tried to contact Ben. For some reason you could get to him. He didn’t respond to your letters.

So, you made a choice of your own, you went back to study and became a nurse via internships. ‘Thanks’ to the war they wanted more medical support and made it easier to study while practising.

When in 1942 they assembled medical staff to volunteer to work on secret case (superhero affairs) you agreed. Dr. Frederick Vought liked your attitude and extra effort you pulled over the years you worked there. That he wanted you as his assistant.

He asked you to take a couple of tests from the soldiers. Eager as you were you agreed and walk in the room where all the soldiers we’re waiting on their bed bunks, shirtless. Your work outfit made a few men hungry. You heard some whistling, nothing you weren’t used to already. “All right gentlemen. Keep your enthusiasm for the battlefield alright?” you joked.

You made your way down the room. Taking test writing down the results, routine without paying much attention to the men. Until you were at the next to last bed. “Never thought to see you here... Birdy.”

That voice made you look up right in the familiar green eyes. “Ben...” You didn’t know what to say. Afraid to say something wrong. “Couldn’t stay away, did you?” He joked. And to his surprise you smile like an idiot. The reaction from the other solders made you blush and realise you were staring at him.

“I need to finish these tests...” he nodded and looked over his friend to shut up. “All done.” you add after a few minutes. “Hey.” he grabbed your wrist. “The boys are having a little party tonight. Why don’t you come?”

“I- I don’t know, dr. Vought makes me work pretty late.” He looked like he understood. “Just, if you have time, I would love to catch up.” You answered with a soft smile.” I’ll see what I can do.” - “Great”

That night you caught yourself finishing up earlier, being rushed. You really wanted to see Ben. You even took your time to fix your make up and dress up a little. When you walked out of the compound you could hear the music coming from the bar.

Your eyes scanned the room noticing Ben flirting with a girl at the bar, but the second his eyes met your he completely ignored her and walked over to you. The army green outfit matched his skin tone and eyes perfectly. The year of training clearly made him bulk up.

“There she is.” He said really loud while he hugged and spinning you around. “Come on let me introduce you to my palls.” He took you by your hand and walked you to the back of the bar where his friends sat with a couple of local girls.

“Ben who is this?” One of the girls asked. “Guys meet Y/N. An, eh old friend.” He said not knowing how to introduce you. The women were clearly not entertained by your presence. But Ben could care less. You felt uncomfortable sitting between all these people while the girl from the bar sat on Ben’s knee.

Which made Ben look over at you while he guided her of him, but you dodged his look, by taking a sip of the beer they ordered for you and look around. One or two men talked to you, asked you where you worked or how you knew Ben.

But mostly you just felt out of your place. After an hour of two you decided to go back to your room.

“Let me walk you.” Ben got up and placed a hand on the small of your back.

Once again, the men howled. “Oooh Benny boy, make sure you give the lady a nice time, will ya?” - “Maybe a real man should take her... home.” You knew the soldiers reacted to women like this, but you really didn’t like these comments when you weren’t working.

Once outside you turn to Ben. “You really don’t have to, you know that right?” He clearly didn’t expect that comment. “I want to, we haven’t had the chance to talk yet.” The silence was uncomfortable. So you decided to small talk.

“Was that your girl back there?” - “Eh, no, Steffy is just a girl who like hanging around soldiers. A regular at the bar.” - ‘Hm’ you nodded. “H-how is Frank? - “Eh, I have no idea.” You glance at the ground. “We broke up over a year ago.” - “So you never...” - ”Never married, no.” you finished his sentence.

“I’m sorry to hear.” - “Well, Frank is great, and he deserves the best. Which wasn’t me.”

“What barrack are you staying in?” - “The 4th in the south corner.” - “ Hm, pretty close then.” You said no idea what you talk about. “Yeah.”

Silence again until you were at the main building on the campus.

“You want to come in?” - “I really shouldn’t.” he saw the disappointment in your eyes. “Unless you want to talk some more?” - “I kind of want to, yes.” You felt the blush on your cheeks burn. “So you work for dr. Vought.” He said while looking around in your small yet more luxurious room. “Yes, It’s a really good job.”

“You know I volunteered for the experiment with the new drug.” He said still looking around. “Compound V?” - “Yeah, that one.” he now looked at her. “It’s almost on point, so you will have your shot pretty soon.” He took a step closer.

“I’ve heard that it wasn’t successful up until this point.” - “Can I be honest Ben... It killed people before.” He took in your words. “Well, there is a nurse who I trust with my life.” -”I’m not joking Ben.” He walked you against the door. “Neither am I.”

His knee pushed in between your legs. Your hand instinctively pushed against his chest, feeling it raising and falling with every steady yet deep breath he took. You looked up at him with these doe eyes.

“After all these years you still look so innocent.” he whispered before you felt his lips touch yours. You felt his hands holding thight on your side. “I missed you, Birdy.” His lips brush against yours again. “Not a day gone by I didn’t think of you...” You let out a shivering breath, almost whining.

“Fuck... not a night I didn’t dream of you.” He looked down at your body. You couldn’t hold back any longer and forced his face to look at you. Your lips melted with his. Your hands pulled him closer, you wanted to feel his body on you.

Your kisses were hungry. Hands roaming each other's body. Clothes peeled off without hesitation. Ben dropped you on the bed underneath him. Heavy breaths became soft moans that disappeared in the hot air surround you.

His lips moved to your neck where he nipped and licked at the one spot, he knew would make you squirm underneath him. You felt the bulge in his underwear against your thigh. While his hands worked his way down on your body, you cupped his dick, rubbing soft. This made him thrust in your hand.

“Fuck Y/N, so needy.” - “Promise me one thing Ben.” His brow lifted. You grinned, “ You don’t hold back tonight.” You kissed his neck. “I want all of you. I need to feel you inside me.” You whispered against his ear before sucking soft on it.

His hand moved up your leg, pushing your dress up a bit, bending one knee, he softly kissed your calf moving up to your thigh. Your back arches while your nails scratched through his hair.

Ben moved your dress even more up. Seeing your laced panties were damped. You knew how wet you already were, which made your cheeks turned red. “Can I taste you?” He asked licking his lips.

You nodded rapidly, “Words Y/N.” He said while placing his hand over your clothed core feeling the warmth of his big hands. “Yes.” you whined softy. Ben moved you panties aside with a finger and started to lick your folds apart.

“Hmm, so sweet.” He hummed against your core when he tastes you. His tongue flat against your slit, stroking up and down. Your moans make him even harder , he noticed you moving looking for more friction.

“So needy sweetheart?” He asked while taking your panties off. Ben moves his mouth over your clit while teasing you with his fingers against your wet hole. “Ben...” you moan. “Yes Birdy, talk to me. Tell me what you want.”

“More, I need to feel more of you.” You ask whining.

Ben entered a finger deep inside without warning, he felt you tightening around him. “Fuck, you feel so good,” Moving and curling his finger until he found that one soft spot inside. You moaned his name like a prayer when he touched it, adding another finger.

“Oh Ben, don’t stop, please, oh please don’t stop!!” You scream your hands pulling him closer to your clit. He hums and licks until you came down from your high. Ben cleaned his lips with the back of his hand looking at you lay there with your arm over your eyes.

Once you opened your eyes you see him still sitting between your legs, eager, wanted to take you, fill you up but waiting for your answer. “Fuck come here.” you said pulling him in top of you. Wrapping your legs around his hips. Ben took his underwear and the rest of your clothes off.

"Ready.” - “Yes.” His lips found your when he pushed inside. Even though you were soaking wet, you still felt a sting when he pushed further and further. For a second you thought he wouldn’t fit.

But when you heard the growl underneath his breath you knew he bottomed out. Making you feel so full unable to move. Ben noticed your discomfort. “You want to stop?”

“No, no just give me a second.” Ben moved barely, but the little thrust he made, made you cling on to his shoulders. He repeated that action until he heard the little hisses turn into moans. “That’s it. You’re taking me so well.” He encouraged while kissing you.

His thrust became harder and faster, making you feel oh so good. Making you buck up against him. “Oh fuck... you really like me deep inside you, don’t you doll. Let’s see how deep we can go.” He pulled your legs over his shoulders.

Giving him an angle which you felt him even better. Your head felt back while you sing his name in prayers. “Ben... don’t stop!” His breath deepened with moans and growls. “Fuck so tight. Don’t know how much longer I can hold.”

In a flash both of you came hard, Ben dropped your legs while you pulled him on top of you. Wrapping your hand in his hair and the other scratching his back.

Ben kissed your breasts before placing his head on top of them, you caressed his back, drawing patterns on his back. “That felt really good.” You smiled at his confession. “I don’t get why I waited so long.” you admitted.

Your grip tightened. “Will you stay tonight?” - “I’m not leaving you anymore.”

His lips found your skin one last time before he fell asleep.

End part 2

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What to expect in part 3: Soldier boy is born. But how will they cope with the change now they finally accepted their new relationship status?

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