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make-me-imagine · 3 years

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Late Night Admissions

Prompts: 'As you begin to fall asleep, you feel a gentle kiss pressed to your temple and a blanket draped over you' + 'Fingertips brushing hair from your face' and 'Body warmth as someone holds you against them' Requested by: @twisted-monster

Pairing: Loki x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: None

Words: I wanted to make this longer, but I was only able to get it to 1.9k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000 Marvel Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney, @trashywritestrash, @groovyfluxie, @marvelouslyme96, @supersourlemon13, @mochamoff, @simsiddy

*An alternate timeline in which Loki survived Thanos and ended up helping the Avengers defeat him, because why not.

**Little angst, mostly fluff

Part of you hated how your entire being reacted when you so much as heard his name. Heart beat increased to an annoying rate, your hands get sweaty, and you feel a jolt of excitement rocket through your body as butterflies rampage in your stomach.

The other part of you was glad for it. Because it proved to you that the way you felt about him, that the way he made you feel, was real. Whether it was for him or not, still haunted your thoughts.

You wiped your sweaty hands on your pants as you looked around the room, hoping that no one noticed your sudden change in demeanor at the mention of the mischievous God. He and Thor were coming for a visit. It had been just over two weeks since you last saw Loki. His last visit was only known to you, and only for you.

Ever since Loki had helped to fight Thanos with the rest of you, he was now welcome on Earth. Many of the Avengers were cautious around him, just in case he resorted back to wanting to take over Earth. You had been cautious at first as well. But at some point, you and Loki had developed a friendship, which then developed into more. And for the last couple of months, you secretly had been "together". You tried not to think of it as a relationship, because sometimes you doubted how he really felt about you.

Loki was the one who acted secretive around you, as though he wanted no one to know you had something between you. At first you had been unsure of whether you wanted the others to know, but the longer you were with him, you no longer cared how they would react. But still, Loki refused. You often wondered if he was dissatisfied with being with someone from Midgard, maybe he was ashamed of the thought.

At times he would be gentle and kind, funny and generous. And sometimes he would be distant, as though you were only acquaintances, or less. The last time he had been here, he came in secret, and you spent the whole night watching the night sky and talking, his arms wrapped around you from behind as he told you stories of Asgard. And in the moment you felt like he might really care deeply about you, just as deeply as you felt for him. You fell asleep in his arms, and when you woke up, he was gone.

"Tony! Pepper!" Thor bellowed as he entered, greeting the two as they walked towards him. You jumped slightly as you were shaken from your thoughts at his boisterous entry.

"Thor, back so soon?" Tony asked as Pepper nudged his shoulder and smiled at Thor.

"Hello Thor, It's good to see you too, where's Loki?" She asked as she peaked behind Thor.

As she asked this, part of you was afraid he had decided not to come at all. But just as you began to feel disappointed Loki entered the room. His eyes scanned the room, over the others and on to you, where his eyes barely held for a second. Your small faltered before it even graced your face. He at least usually nods his head in acknowledgement to you, or even says your name in greeting with a polite smile, but that was barely more than nothing. You shouldn't have been hurt by that, but you were.

Pushing the thought down, you walked across the room and towards the brothers. Thor grinned at you "Hello Y/n."

"Hi Thor, Loki." You smiled as you greeted them.

When Loki did nothing but hold your gaze casually, you looked back to Thor "Your message never said why you were coming back, nothing's wrong I hope."

"No, no. Well...I'm not quite sure. We are here to speak to Strange. Apparently he has something he wants to discuss with us, a possible Asgardian causing trouble I think."

"And he needs you to deal with it?" You asked curiously.

"We'll see I suppose." He said casually with a slight grudge "We're going there now, but I wanted to say hello. We will return later." He said his voice now merry again, turning he began to leave, Loki followed with no word and barely a look at you, sending a sinking feeling in your stomach.

Feeling Pepper staring at you, you looked at her "What?" You asked cautiously, gaining Tony's attention.

"Was it just me or was Loki acting odd?" She asked.

"Now that you mention it-" Tony broke in "He was much more silent than he normally is, though that's not saying much." He said before turning and walking away.

You met Peppers eyes again and shrugged and she eyed you almost suspiciously before turning "Okay." She said unconvinced "I'll talk to you later then."

"Bye" You said as she began to follow Tony. Looking back at where Loki had been standing you felt a uneasy feeling flowing through your entire being.

- - - - -

After Thor and Loki's departure, you couldn't help but worry something had happened since the last time you and Loki were together. Had he gotten tired of you? Of pretending that he felt anything for you? Was it all just a game?

Countless thoughts troubled your mind, and only a few of them were defending his actions. Defending his disregard of you.

"Y/n." A gentle voice greeted from close behind you making you spin around in alarm at the sudden intrusion of your thoughts.

Seeing Loki standing there, a faint smile on his face, your usual butterflies were replaced with an anxious tightening of your stomach "Loki." You greeted simply.

Walking up to you, he stopped only a few inches away. Reaching down he took your hands gently in his own before bringing them up and pressing a kiss to the back of each of them.

You frowned in confusion at his sudden change, and as he looked at you he saw it clearly "What's wrong?" He asked.

Scoffing lightly you pulled your hands away from him, and you saw a small reaction on his face that seemed to be hurt. But pushing past it you tried to speak boldly "What do you mean? Isn't it obvious? I don't understand how you can move so smoothly from total disregard to- to...this?" You motioned your hands at him. "You acted as though you didn't even care I was in the room earlier, did you seriously think that I wouldn't notice? Or care?"

Loki stared at you with his mouth ajar "I- didn't think about it. I just assumed that you knew I would act...casual around you, as to not show our connection. If they knew." He chuckled lightly under his breath "They would think me....weaker, I think."

You scoffed again and Loki rose his brow at you "Love is not a weakness Loki." You said with obvious hurt in your voice. But as the words left your mouth, and you saw Loki's face change to surprise, you realized what you had said, what you had unintentionally admitted to him, and yourself in part. Quickly you stepped back from him and felt yourself become awkward "I need to go." You said as you quickly walked past him and left the room, leaving behind a somewhat astounded God behind you.

- - - - -

You stared at your curtain covered window, the white lacy fabric allowing you to see the silhouettes and faded lights of the city outside your window. Your last interaction with Loki replaced in your head on a loop. 'I really said "Love" didn't I?' You thought to yourself. You had been afraid to admit it to yourself, that you had fallen in love with him. But it came out so naturally, you must have meant it. You did mean it. You loved him. And that's why his casual disregard of your feelings hurt you so much. Surely he would not feel the same for you.

The more you thought about it, the more you felt yourself finally begin drifting to sleep. You didn't hear your door open and close, but you were aware of the footsteps coming towards your bed. Purposefully soft as they approached. If you were not in such a safe place, you'd be on guard. But even in you tired minded state, you knew who it was.

Instead of waking yourself up to deal with what might come with his presence, you continued to let yourself be taken by your sleepiness. But as you did, you felt a kiss pressed to your temple, and you blanket brought up and draped over you. The soft action caused your heart to beat rapidly, and the sleep you were fighting to take was fading away as his presence became too overpowering.

Finally, you let out a small breath and turned your head a bit further into your pillow, causing a bit of your hair to fall across your face. Speaking quietly out into the darkness of your room "What are you doing here?"

He remained silent for a moment as he reached over, and gently brushed the stray hands of hair from your face and back behind your ears. "You were right-" he began "love is not a weakness." Your heart began to beat heavier in your chest as he spoke gently from behind you, his hand rested gentle on your side. "But I became scared, of...your mortality. Of loving someone I can lose so easily and in what feels like, such a short amount of time. And that scared me more than I wish to think about." So I pushed it away a bit, never letting the others see it. Hoping that I..could stop it, I could take it back. But those were lies I told myself. I don't really want to stop it. I want to cherish it.So I have decided, it is much better to be with you while I can, rather than run from it and not have you at all. So I promise I will no longer run from it, or from you. I will make it my strength. My love. For you."

You never realized they built up, but a tear streamed from your cheek as he spoke. Remaining still you let the fabric of your pillow soak it up. "I was afraid you didn't feel anything for me." You admitted, ad you felt his hand grip your side a bit "I've thought about it too you know. You being immortal, and me not. But I more thought it was because I was human that you did not want me."

Loki brought his face beside yours "No. I want you. And...your humanity is what makes me love you more. You are so kind, and loving and strong, and so...human. I couldn't help but fall for you."

You smiled at this, and Loki pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, and you could feel the smile he had as well. Leaning back, he adjusted himself so that he was holding you now, his arms wrapped around you and his head resting just above yours. His body heat made you sink into the comfort of your bed easier, and you felt yourself drifting away again.

A sudden thought popped back into your mind just as you were losing yourself to sleep. You mumbled out quietly to him "Will you be gone when I wake up?"

Loki smiled to himself, pressing a kiss to the back of your head he then rested it on the pillow "Not this time."

No, not this time. He would no longer flee. He would no longer run from him desire to be with you. From this point on, he would cherish every moment. He would love you as you deserved.

xx End xx

Hope you enjoyed it! If you did, please consider reblogging! :)

If you want to be added to my Loki or Avengers/Marvel taglist let me know! (I also have taglists available for any other character and fandom)

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki x y/n #marvel #avengers #oneshot #one shot #marvel reader insert #loki x reader oneshot #loki odinson/reader #loki/reader #loki laufeyson/reader #loki fluff #loki x gender neutral reader #avengers reader insert

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sorryimananti-romantic · 3 years

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Mist | Choi San | Chapter 3

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 9.9k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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"But I want to sleep..." Seohyun complained.

"Is sleep more important to you than us?" Wooyoung asked.

"Of course it is. Is that even a question?" Seohyun raised her brow and Wooyoung gaped at her.

"We've been friends for long now, Wooyoung, I thought you knew better not to ask questions like these," Yeosang said, laughing.

It had been more than a month now since that incident with San. Seohyun looked at each of them slowly, smiling. Despite herself, she had gotten quite used to the company of these boys. And they were EIGHT. It was hard to not be alone. Even if some of them were busy, the rest would always fool around after school as well.

Seohyun had gotten to know them well now too. She knew that Hongjoong, the oldest, also acted like one. He had a thing for fashion, and had reformed her navy blue cap that she always wore, embroidering a cat on it.

Seonghwa was the mom of this group for sure. He was always keeping them in check, always stopping them from doing something stupid (which was most of the times) and always helping them with homework. He was very caring, and he couldn't hide that part of himself.

Yunho was the clown of the group, and surprisingly, she was getting along with him and Yeosang quite well. Yeosang and her had the savageness in common, which mixed well with Yunho's humor. Since the three sat next to each other, they would always pass a joke or two to her even during class, and she had to beg them to stop one too many times.

Wooyoung and Mingi were quite funny too. There was just something contagious about their smiles. Seohyun found herself smiling a lot in their company. It didn't help that Wooyoung laughed like a hyena; even when she had no reason to laugh, she'd burst out laughing when she heard Wooyoung laugh.

She was getting along well with Jongho too, especially because they were paired for a project. She hadn't had the chance to talk to him much but once she did, she found that he was actually quite witty despite his dad jokes, and that he loved singing and... breaking apples. Which was weird but it was fun to see how strong he was.

"All you do is sleep, Seohyun. You have to come with us now," San insisted.

Seohyun stared at San. She was glad they were out of danger -for now. The old ghost had finally moved on after realizing that killing Seohyun was not worth it (thanks to Jiwoo). San had gotten close to Jiwoo as well. When she was not hanging out with the boys, she was with San. He liked being in her company because apparently 'he didn't want to look stupid alone staring at the distance'. He could see all sorts of ghosts now and Seohyun was helping him practice differentiating between the living and the dead.

"All right, but if I see something stupid, I leave. Okay?" Seohyun locked eyes with him and he nodded assuredly, smiling and showing off his dimples.

Hongjoong had been insisting that she finally come to their 'second home'. Apparently it was a warehouse that Hongjoong's father owned but had no use for so Hongjoong turned it into a place for him and the boys to hang out. She had no idea what they did there, and they finally wanted to show her the place because they all 'approved of her now and accepted her as one of them'.

The warehouse wasn't far from school so they decided to walk there. The black cat was walking with them now. San bent to pick her up, patting her head.

"Still didn't come up with a name?" Seohyun asked.

"You rejected Shiber. I don't want any other name," San pouted.

"I told you you could call it Shiber, I'll just... call it whatever I call her... hey what do I even call her?" Seohyun wondered.

"You never actually call her, do you?" San laughed a little, caressing the cat's neck, "She sticks to you, and you didn't even give her a name. I'm disappointed in you."

"I couldn't find the right name," Seohyun mumbled, frowning.

"Still, she's been your friend for what, like a year now-"

"FINE. Shiber. That sounds like a male name though."

"It's my plushie's name, but she reminds me of it," San admitted.

"You're naming my cat after a plushie? SAN!" Seohyun punched San's arm, making him laugh out loud. Wooyoung joined them, grinning.

"San's had that plushie since he was a kid," Wooyoung said. "I'm not surprised that he couldn't come up with any other name."

"You should've told me before, I would have never allowed him to name the cat then..." Seohyun shook her head but grinned.

"We're here!" Hongjoong announced, and Seohyun took off her sunglasses as she looked at the large warehouse, the sun reflecting harshly back at her, making her eyes water.

They went inside, Seohyun stepping in last and she blinked as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Mingi turned the light on, and she ran her eyes around.

"Woah," she breathed. It really did feel like a 'home'. The place had everything they could think of; sofas, couches, tables, a fridge for snacks, a basket for basketball, and so many musical instruments and equipment. "Are you guys secretly famous musicians or what?"

"Nothing like that," Seonghwa laughed, "We just really like music. Hongjoong is always making songs though. We fool around."

"I wouldn't call this 'fooling around'," Seohyun said, walking towards the equipment, stopping mid-way. "Can I?"

"Of course," several of them replied, nodding. She smiled as she ran her fingers across the piano, looking at the speakers and the mics. She saw some pages, probably lyrics scribbled on them, lying on the table near.

"So you guys... make music? Do you want to be idols or something?"

"For now, we're just exploring," Jongho replied, "Who knows? Maybe some of us might want to go into the musical side."

"So you all sing?"

"I'm the rapper," Mingi said, "Hongjoong raps too."

Seohyun made an impressed face. She pressed some of the piano keys, and something clicked at her mind. She looked up at Hongjoong as a grin spread across her face. "So that's why your fingers are always tapping at the desk. You make music!"

"Oh? I'm surprised you noticed," Hongjoong admitted.

"It's hard to not notice when you're sitting in my vision with fingers tapping nonstop while I'm trying to focus in class. You were doing something like this today, weren't you?" Seohyun said and played the keys that had unintentionally been printed in her memory.

"Woah, I'm more surprised that you remembered it!" Hongjoong clapped in disbelief and then narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you... know how to play?"

"The piano? Not much. But I have a drum set at home," Seohyun said and she saw as the boys looked at each other, applauding her.

"What?" Seohyun asked.

"We knew there was something about you," Wooyoung went on dramatically, waving his hands as he said "who knew we had a shared passion for music?"

"I wouldn't call it 'passion' per se, it's more of a... hobby. A stress-reliever, if you will. And stop ogling at me like you guys won a jackpot. I know what's going through your heads, and I say no."

"But you can play!" Mingi wailed, "We need more people to play the instruments! These guys-" he pointed at the boys one by one, "-they never learn!"

"Hey, hey, hey, look who's saying! Didn't you want to learn drums? What happened to that?"

"I don't have a drum-set!"

"I can play too!" Jongho and Yeosang complained.

Seohyun watched as the boys started arguing among themselves, and she shook her head. She had never imagined they like making music this much. If she had known, she might not have told them about her drums, much less her room full of instruments at a time like this.

"If you don't shut up, I'll never bring any instrument here."

"You mean you will if we shut up?" San asked, followed by Seonghwa who said, "You have more than one instrument?"

Seohyun sighed. "This is overwhelming, okay? Like I respect what you do, but I'm still new to being friends with you all, and it would take me some time to open up to you guys about the instruments. It's just... I have some memories- I don't really want to go back there."

"Oh..." San raised his brow and she bit her lip. She hadn't lied. She had some memories attached to those instruments that she would rather forget. It had been about two years since she'd played. She wanted to shut out that part of herself. She wanted to throw those instruments, but she hadn't been able to.

"Can you just... tell me which instruments you have, other than the drums?" Hongjoong asked cautiously.

Seohyun rolled her eyes. "Drums, bass, electric-"

"WOW!" Wooyoung gasped out very loud.

"-and violin. And I can play piano and guitar too. But it's been like two years since I last played so I'm probably very rough now..."

"Is one of your parent a musician or what?" Yunho asked.

"No, the drums were my mom's. The rest, I bought them when I was going through a phase."

"A phase. Wow," Yeosang snickered, earning daggers from Seohyun.

"Alright, we won't pressure you or anything. But you're free to play the piano if you want to," Yunho suggested, "and you're free to do whatever you want."

"Thanks for understanding," Seohyun muttered, smiling at him.

"But I wanted to learn the drums..." Mingi wailed.

"Who knows? Maybe I'll be the one to teach you," Seohyun said nonchalantly, making him smile his famous gummy smile.

"So anyways, what's with those mirrors?" Seohyun asked.

"Oh, that? We like to dance too," Jongho said.

"Oh my god. You guys should stop watching all those idol videos..."

"But we're good at it!" Wooyoung laughed, "And anyways, even if we don't go down that route, we love doing it anyway. It's our way of releasing stress."

"Sure," Seohyun nodded.

"Don't tell me you can dance too," Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh no. I don't think I can," Seohyun admitted. Unless you could count those random 3 am sad twerks as dancing. The boys watched as she suspiciously tried to avoid their gaze, looking around.

"So now that we've told you so much about ourselves, how about you tell us something that we don't know?" Jongho suggested.

"I don't know what's there to tell," Seohyun said, her eyes unintentionally falling on San who lightly shook his head.

"Anything. Something. It's just that we'd like to know you more," Seonghwa smiled warmly at her.

"How about you just ask me and I'll answer? Because it feels like I'll never be able to start myself..."

"Or how about," Yeosang started, a devilish smile spreading across his face, "we play truth or dare?"

"Oh no..."

----------------

Yeosang made everyone sit in a circle, and though very reluctant at first, Seohyun had to sit down too (after being dragged by Wooyoung). They discussed the rules; they could choose between truth or dare, and if a person didn't want to answer a question they should just say so instead of lying, which would earn them a penalty.

Hongjoong spun the bottle, and Seohyun prayed it would never land on her. At least not today. She wasn't feeling it. She still thought that the eight of them were well knit as they were, they didn't need her between them.

The bottle landed on Yunho, and he laughed nervously. Jongho asked truth or dare, and he replied with dare. Not fair, Seohyun thought. She wasn't sure she would ever choose dare. She had no idea what sort of dares they were gonna give.

"Alright, show us your golden retriever! You haven't done that in a long time!"

"Golden retriever?" Seohyun asked. She had heard them talk about it once or twice, but she had no idea what it was about.

"Ah, I'm getting nervous~" Yunho laughed awkwardly. She supposed it was because he was gonna do it in front of her for the first time.

"Come on, don't be shy," Wooyoung teased and he nodded, taking in a deep breath. He turned his head back, then looked forward, his eyes a bit wide as he made a paw out of his hand and flicked it, barking in the cutest way possible.

Seohyun was silent for a moment before she burst out laughing. She was howling at this point, making the rest of them laugh too.

"At least I made her laugh!" Yunho said proudly.

Seohyun wiped tears from the corner of her eyes. "That was hilarious. You really do look like a puppy, Yunho."

"Thanks?" Yunho said and laughed.

"Alright, next!" Jongho said, spinning the bottle, and to Seohyun's relief, it stopped at Hongjoong who was right next to her. He wailed.

"I choose... dare."

"You all are gonna end up choosing dare. I'll be the only one choosing truth it seems," Seohyun groaned.

"You know what to do," Yeosang said, locking eyes with Wooyoung who nodded. "Michael Jackson impression."

"NO! I CHOOSE TRUTH!"

"It's too late to turn back now!" San said.

"It's embarrassing enough to do it even in front of one of you, and now there's EIGHT of you. Alright. Here goes nothing." Hongjoong got up and straightened his clothes. He took a few steps back so everyone could see. He made the famous pose and sang Billie Jeans, attempting to mimic Michel Jackson's style. It would have been okay if everyone hadn't burst out laughing, making Seohyun laugh a little too.

"How did you even come up with this?" Seohyun asked in disbelief.

"I don't even remember now..." Hongjoong pouted. He spun the bottle, and it landed on Wooyoung.

"Truth," he smiled rather proudly, folding his arms.

"Who do you love more, Hongjoong or Seonghwa?" Yeosang asked. The rest of them laughed as Wooyoung's eyes went wide in panic.

"That's like you're asking if I like mom or dad more! Isn't this unfair?"

"Who did you like more though?" Jongho asked.

"Mom-"

"You like Seonghwa more. Alright, next!" Hongjoong concluded, leaving Wooyoung attempting to explain that it was not like that anymore and he liked both of them equally, but everyone was ignoring him. Seohyun thought it must be an inside joke too.

"Your turn," San smirked at her. Seohyun, who had been distracted and hadn't seen the bottle spin, eyed them suspiciously.

"I move my eyes off the bottle for a second and it lands on me. Are you sure you didn't cheat?"

"We did NO SUCH THING," Wooyoung huffed.

Seohyun locked eyes with each of them. "Fine. Truth."

She watched as the boys looked at each other, suggesting questions while Seohyun tried to calm the rumbling storm of nervousness in her stomach. Should she have gone with dare?

"Can we ask... anything?" Mingi looked at her and Seohyun shrugged.

"I mean, we're friends now, right? So go ahead. If I think it's too personal, I'll say so." Seohyun nodded and the boys looked at each other before finally turning to her.

"What's the real reason you don't have friends?"

Seohyun's eyes unintentionally went to San's, and the boys noticed, looking between the two of them. San shrugged, as if saying 'I tried.'

"Does... San know something?" Seonghwa asked cautiously.

"You don't have to answer, you know that right?" Yeosang added.

Seohyun sighed deeply, nodding. She looked at San again, who nodded back, pointing behind her and mouthing Jiwoo. Seohyun sighed in relief now. She might as well give it a try.

"Since you guys shared something today, I will too. But it's kind of... weird. Unbelievable. You might think I'm lying. You might think worse things. Whatever you think, do tell me, because I can prove it."

"Don't tell me you're some sort of a secret agent," Yeosang said, earning a slap from Hongjoong who shushed him.

"Alright, we'll hear you out," he said.

"I... can see ghosts. The dead."

There was a moment of silence before Jongho raised his eyebrow. "What? You mind saying that again?"

"I said I can see the dead. I can see ghosts. I can touch them. I help them move on."

While the boys exchanged looks, still in disbelief, San smiled at her and Seohyun nervously laughed. She had finally said it out loud.

"So you can... see ghosts? Like in the movies?" Mingi asked.

"Yep. They're just like us. Unless they're old."

"How do we believe you? I mean, you could be joking," Yunho asked.

"Well, San knows," Seohyun said, and everyone looked at San, who nodded, then looked back at her.

"How does he know?" Wooyoung asked.

"Long story. He got caught up in something, which led him to discover my secret and eventually led him to seeing ghosts too."

"You both are mad." Wooyoung laughed nervously.

"You want proof?" Seohyun challenged.

"Sure. I can do with that," Wooyoung folded his arms, anticipating.

"Alright folks, you're in for a surprise," Seohyun heard Jiwoo say. Jiwoo rubbed her hands and went near Seohyun, picking her hair and making it look like it was flying in the air.

The boys... shouted.

"MEDUSA!" She heard someone shout amidst them. San tried to calm them down but it was no use. They all were... freaking out, to put it simply. Half of them were gasping while the other half was laughing in disbelief.

Jiwoo dropped her hair down and they watched as she pulled the sunglasses off her shirt and the glasses magically disappeared.

"Where did the glasses go?" Wooyoung asked.

"Ji- the ghost. Her name is Jiwoo. She's a friend of mine. So when she takes something of mine, it would disappear once I'm not holding it anymore. But-" Jiwoo handed her the glasses back and they watched it appear out of thin air, "when she gives them back, here they are."

"Is this... magic or really a ghost?" Jongho asked.

"It's a ghost, believe me," San finally said.

"So you can see ghosts now too? How?"

"Let me explain," Seohyun said, and narrated the events, giving a little backstory about how she was born with this, and that she actually helped ghosts move on.

"That's kind of cool though," Yunho commented.

"Wouldn't call it cool," Seohyun muttered and Seonghwa noticed.

"It must not be easy to live like this..." he said, and she hesitantly nodded.

"Is that why you changed schools so often?" Hongjoong asked and she nodded. The boys looked at each other, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that again," Yeosang said, "We'll help you. You won't have to move again if something happens."

"It's not that easy, Yeosang. If something unexplainable happens, I won't be able to hide it."

"Oh don't worry about that," Mingi laughed, "unexplainable things always happen to me. We'll cover for you, trust me."

Seohyun was, for the first time, touched by how earnest they sounded. They really were a weird group of friends.

"I'm kind of jealous that San can see ghosts now too," Hongjoong sulked. "Can't we see too?"

Before Seohyun could answer, everyone else burst into complains too about how they wanted to see too. "Hey hey," Seohyun began, "first of all, it's too risky. I almost died and then San was able to see."

"WHAT!"

"You forgot to tell them that part," San muttered.

"Ah, right. So when I had to teleport San, we ended up in the other dimension, right? So I had to teleport again, and I had a massive nosebleed plus headache. I passed out too."

"Oh..."

"Even if it was easy, I would never do that to you. And I wish I could take it away from San. I wish it would fade," Seohyun said, and San looked at her, shocked. He had not expected this.

"It's not about it being cool, San," she locked eyes with him, "Being able to see ghosts mean you're attracting danger every second. Thank god you can't touch them. That means they're not able to touch you, not directly. I want you all to be safe, that's why I won't ever do that to the rest of you."

There was a moment of heavy silence, then Seonghwa broke the ice. "I understand. It's okay, you don't have to do that. We want you to be safe too, so if you're ever in some sort of danger, don't hesitate to ask for help."

"Thanks Seonghwa, I really appreciate it." Seohyun smiled.

"It's really unbelievable though. What does this ghost look like?" Wooyoung asked, eyes brimming with curiosity.

Seohyun grinned a little. "Well, she's a girl. Jiwoo. She's about my height, has long black hair with red streaks. Has a mole on her cheek. Also, she's weird-"

Jiwoo kicked Seohyun's back lightly, but she just continued. "She died in a car accident. A ghost with amnesia. Unbelievable is the right word, Wooyoung."

"Woah. She sounds familiar though..." Wooyoung looked towards Hongjoong who shook his head. Seohyun noticed but didn't comment on it.

"So you're waiting for her to remember so she can move on?" Hongjoong asked.

"Yeah. She's been sticking with me for months now, and I got used to her."

"Ah... that's understandable," Hongjoong looked at his wristwatch, "Anyways, we should go home now. it's late."

"I thought we were playing truth or dare. This turned into a horror show. How will I sleep at night!" Mingi wailed dramatically, making them laugh. Wooyoung called him 'scaredy cat' and San said, "Like you're one to say."

Seohyun smiled at Jiwoo. This had been an unexpected night, and she had never expected them to believe her and not make fun of her. She looked at the boys, bickering, and smiled at them.

She felt comfortable.

-----------------

The next few days at school had been... annoying, to put it simply.

The boys were very excited at the new discovery about their friend they had made. They simply couldn't contain themselves- save for San, and Seohyun found her patience wearing off day by day.

It wasn't that she was ungrateful for how things had turned out. She simply hadn't expected this sort of a behaviour. Secondly, she did not know how to deal with 7 excited boys who couldn't stop asking her the most stupid of questions.

She had to admit some of the questions did make sense. Like Yeosang asking if a ghost's touch and human's touch was any different. Seohyun shook her head as she thought of how the question had shook her.

"What do you mean?" Seohyun asked.

"Do you feel different when a ghost touches you? Like, Jiwoo. Does her touch feel different than a regular human's?"

Seohyun inhaled sharply as she was reminded of the time she had spent in her music room, laughing, with him, holding his hand, touching-

"I'm sorry, was it a wrong question?" Yeosang finally asked and Seohyun realized she had been staring at him too long.

"Uh, no. I'm sorry I zoned out. I suppose it is- it is a bit different. I don't know how to explain it. It's not... warm."

Seohyun shook her head as she waved off the memory. Another memory made its way....

"This friend of yours, Jiwoo," Hongjoong asked, "is she here right now?"

"She may not find the idea of dying twice appealing," Seohyun muttered.

"What?" Hongjoong furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Now why would a ghost attend school? Surely she doesn't wish to die of boredom. AGAIN."

Hongjoong laughed. "So she's not here? Do you know her full name?"

"Ahn Jiwoo, I think," Seohyun replied. She noticed Hongjoong's eyes gleam as his mind worked.

"How old do you think she is? And can you describe how she looks like?"

"Playing detective, are you?" Seohyun raised her brow.

"Just answer. I may have something."

"Well, she looks our age, maybe a year older, she has an average face, honestly I haven't noticed much. She does have red hair."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, and Seohyun asked when he was going to let her in.

"I'll just check something. If it's true, I'll tell you."

Seohyun shook her head again. She should really be focusing on class. But her mind went back to think of the stupid questions. Yunho had asked if 'ghosts could eat' and when she had replied no, he said he was just wondering if they did eat, did they excrete as well. And if so, was the ghost realm full of-

Shit, she thought as she heard Yunho giggling. "You keep shaking your head. What's wrong?"

"Believe it or not, I was actually thinking about you," Seohyun admitted.

"Oh?" Yunho turned a bit towards her, smirking. "And what scandalous thoughts made you shake your head so much?"

"How in the world could your brain wonder if the ghost realm was full of ghost shit?" Seohyun almost shouted, but clearly she hadn't been quite as well. She earned a warning glance from her teacher and sunk in her chair as Yunho shook with silent laughter.

After the class was over, Hongjoong made his way to Seohyun.

"Is Jiwoo here?" He asked.

"Again, no. Why are you so interested in her?" Seohyun folded her arms and Hongjoong snatched Seonghwa's seat from his spot, sitting near her and placing a book on her desk.

"This is last year's yearbook. We have some photos from an event, and I want you to tell me if you spot Jiwoo."

Seohyun raised her eyebrows. Jiwoo- she could have been a student here?

She supposed it was possible. San turned too, muttering how he can recognize her too, and they flipped the pages, checking each one carefully until finally San pointed at a person and looked at Seohyun, who had paled.

"That's... Jiwoo. How did you know, Hongjoong?"

"I guessed when you told me her name. San told me how she had died of an accident and had amnesia, and I could remember hearing something about a senior here who had died in a car crash. So I put 2 and 2 together and here we are."

"But, this doesn't help much, right? We only know that she was a student here. What's this got to do with how she died, and why she is still here?"

"There were rumours circulating her death," Hongjoong sat back, "Her father was a prisoner falsely accused of some crimes, and she was trying to get justice. I talked to some of my senior friends, who had been her classmates, and they told me that she had started receiving some threats."

"And they must have given all this information to the police too?"

"Yes," Hongjoong nodded, "Now you know her identity. You can talk to her friends, go to her home, and finally help her move on."

San felt his heart sink as he looked at Seohyun. They both were thinking the same thing. Seohyun had grown very attached to her and she did not want to do this. She gulped, and nodded slowly.

"Of course. I guess I should thank you..." As the words left Seohyun's mouth, Hongjoong heard something bitter in her tone.

"Did I do something wrong?" Hongjoong asked, and Seohyun didn't reply, only shook her head no, and San shushed Hongjoong, mouthing that he'd explain later. Seohyun got up abruptly, her bag falling off from the chair. But she didn't hear it. She couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything.

"I need some air," she muttered and rushed out of the classroom, leaving the boys staring.

"Shit," San clicked his tongue, "You did the right thing, Hongjoong, but you have to understand. Jiwoo is her friend. A sister to her. If she moves on... I should go after her."

"Are you sure I did the right thing?" Hongjoong asked him as he gave him space to move. San nodded and went after Seohyun.

"It looks like there's more to the story than she lets on," Yeosang commented. Hongjoong only looked at the door. It did seem like it.

San ran around the 1st floor where their class was, then went downstairs, hoping she was somewhere here. After checking the empty rooms, he went outside, towards the lawn, and found a figure sitting near a tree, staring in the space. He narrowed his eyes, then spotted the cat wandering around her, and his shoulders sank in relief.

He wasn't sure if he was the right person to be there. Surely Seonghwa could comfort her better. Or Yunho. But he was the only one other than Seohyun who would miss Jiwoo. He could relate to her, somewhat. So he decided to sit down beside her.

As he did so, he realized she was shaking. San looked at her worried. "Seohyun? Are you alright?"

Seohyun couldn't breathe. She was having some sort of an attack, like the ones she had about two years ago. She heard San alright, but she was afraid if she spoke, she'd cry.

"Here, have some water," San uncapped the bottle and closed her hand around it, and she managed a sip then handed it back to San.

"This is about Jiwoo, right? She's your friend, and you don't want to let go of her. I understand, Seohyun."

Seohyun sighed, fisting her hands. It wasn't just about her. It was the flood of memories that had come crashing without a warning when she thought of Jiwoo disappearing.

San put his hand on hers, caressing it, hoping it would give her some sort of comfort. He looked at her. All her walls, her strong walls she put around her were breaking down. Her lips were parted and wobbling. She looked like she might cry any second.

"You want to talk about it?" he whispered, and she sighed, nodding, taking deep breaths. She wouldn't cry. Not right now.

"You know it. I have grown attached to Jiwoo. Hell, she practically lives with me. I shouldn't have allowed this in the first place. I knew she was going to move on someday, yet I grew emotionally attached to her. I'm so weak."

"You're strong because you helped her too. She had no memories. How do you think she would have felt if not for you? She couldn't even go to her family or friends. You became that for her."

"I know," Seohyun bit her lip. "It's not just that. It's... I- I had someone. Like her. He and I... We were close. And one day, he was gone-" She bit her lip again, taking a deep breath.

"It's okay. You had no one then, right? You have us now. You have more friends than you could have ever thought of. You're so brave, Seohyun," San said, putting an arm around her shoulder, rubbing her back as he smiled. "You're one of the strongest people I know. We're both going to miss Jiwoo, but we have to help her move on. You don't want her to stay here too long now, do you?

Seohyun shook her head. San smiled again as she looked at him, making her smile a bit too. "There. We'll send her off with a celebration, okay? No more sadness. Okay?"

"Okay," Seohyun smiled. She could do that.

"Let's get back to class," San said, getting up first then helping her up. She dusted off her clothes and they walked in comfortable silence back, though San had to admit he felt weird. His heart... wasn't acting right.

Hongjoong casted a cautious glance at Seohyun as she entered, but she passed a little smile as she settled. Yeosang looked curiously at her, and she made a face.

"Is something bothering you?" Yeosang finally asked. He watched as Seohyun sighed. Sometimes it felt to him like she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. Like she would bend under the pressure.

But she was strong too. She passed a little smile and said, "Yes. I'll talk about it later."

Yeosang just nodded, watching her curiously as she stared at her notebook. And then she sat back in her seat, staring at San.

---------------

"You're telling me that I was a student here? That this is a big, big 'coincidence' that you had to transfer, of all the schools in the city, right here?"

"For the hundredth time, Jiwoo, yes. I know you think I transferred here on purpose, that I somehow found about your life and didn't tell you, but believe me, this is a big, big coincidence." Seohyun replied, looking at San for help.

San shrugged, saying, "The way you're always hanging around Seohyun, when do you think she even had the time to plot this?"

Seohyun clapped her hand, smiling approvingly at San. "See? I told you he isn't that dumb. That is a great point, San." She watched as San shook his head, the faintest trace of smile on his lips.

The three of them- with the cat, of course, had this meeting in the same park that Seohyun and San had once teleported in. It had took a few days for Seohyun to finally settle with the fact that yes, Jiwoo was going to move on. But it won't be like before.

Seohyun found herself thinking of that time. The piano. His slender fingers gracefully playing music. His hands guiding hers across the keys. His contagious laugh. His deep eyes, covered by dark tendrils of hair-

"Earth to Seohyun?" Jiwoo was clapping in front of Seohyun now and she blinked. She cast a quick glance at San, who was watching her more confused than curious.

"Yeah. I'm back. What are you planning?"

"I suggested we show her the photo. She might recognize some people from the photo." San said.

"Also, I walked around the school building a few times, and it did feel familiar. I thought it was just because it was a school and schools are, you know, pretty much built the same. But I would have the strongest of headaches when I walked there," Jiwoo admitted.

"A ghost having headaches? Here's something to tell Yunho," Seohyun thought out aloud, "Though one might think that death would relieve you of all worldly headaches..."

"It's probably because of my amnesia. But yeah, San's right. I'll have a look at the photo. I'll come to school tomorrow."

----------

"Wow, that's me," Jiwoo gasped.

"Of course it's you," Seohyun muttered. Jiwoo ignored her and continued to stare at her picture. Seohyun cast a look at the boys. They were watching the book flip pages on its own, their mouths slightly open in surprise.

"She can hear us, right?" Wooyoung asked Seohyun, who wanted to make fun of Wooyoung but wasn't quite in the mood. She was more busy thinking if Jiwoo would indeed remember something.

"Come closer, Jongho. We're still in class, no one should see the book moving on its own," Mingi motioned with his hand.

"No one is looking unless you start acting weird," Yeosang commented.

"I'm having the worst headache right now. Is this normal?" Jiwoo asked.

"You're a ghost, unnie. Nothing's normal about you."

Jiwoo tsk-ed at her and then looked at Hongjoong. "He should know something about where exactly I died. If it was an accident, I might be able to remember something."

"Not sure if that would work," Seohyun's mood was very gloomy. San shook his head at her, and she sighed before asking Hongjoong if he knew something about where she had died.

Hongjoong, to Seohyun's dismay, said he'd find out in a minute. It looked like he texted one of his friends, and while they were waiting for an answer, San told the boys what was happening just so they would stop asking after each second.

Seohyun caught Hongjoong glancing at her, as if trying to convey a message. Seohyun understood and casually checked her phone, indeed finding a text from Hongjoong, which read:

There's a possibility that her death might not have been an accident

Seohyun frowned. Was she murdered? Or did she commit suicide? She felt as if it would hurt Jiwoo no matter the answer.

What do you mean?

Hongjoong replied:

I'll tell you later.

With that, Hongjoong told Seohyun out loud that his friend would have to ask around for the address, and that settled it. Jiwoo announced that she was gonna roam around the school again, and maybe that would make her remember something too. She asked San to remind Hongjoong to find out her home address too. That would certainly spark a bulb, if nothing else.

As soon as Jiwoo walked out of their classroom, Hongjoong brought everyone closer. "My friend gave me the address. It's near a restaurant here."

"Why didn't you tell Jiwoo?" San asked.

"When Jiwoo passed away, her friends were told that it was an accident. But according to my sources, they say she was out with some of her friends. They had somehow gotten in an argument, causing her to flee and accidentally crash with a car."

"So it is an accident, right?" Seonghwa asked.

"That's the thing. Some people say that one of them pushed her in front of the traffic, and that they are all covering it up. We have got to find out what happened. Before we tell Jiwoo."

Seohyun pursed her lips. This is not how she thought it would have turned out. Sure, most of the ghosts she dealt with had usually been murdered. But that didn't make hearing any of this easier.

"Alright, we will find out. We need to distract Jiwoo. San, you'll help me out, right?"

"Of course," San said, sitting straighter. Seohyun laid out their plan; they were gonna divide into two. San, Wooyoung, Yeosang and Jongho would lead Jiwoo to a false address, somewhere far from where the rest of them were going to go and actually investigate what really happened. If she had died in a car crash, however that happened, the people around would remember and would be able to recall the incident.

After school, they told Jiwoo that she would go with San to check if that was the right place, since Hongjoong's source could be 'unreliable'. Meanwhile the rest of them were going to find out her home address by asking around. Jiwoo didn't suspect them thankfully, and gladly went along with them.

"I have the home address too," Hongjoong said, "It's on the way to the restaurant. We should pass by there too."

"Yeah," Seohyun muttered. "Do you think I should talk to her family too?"

"I think you should, but after we visit the restaurant. That would certainly give us more information. because all you have now is nothing about the real Jiwoo."

"Point." Seohyun thought it was kind of ironic. She knew nothing about how Jiwoo would have been when alive. The thought of it made her heart twist with pain.

As they walked to the site, Seohyun was so lost in thought that she didn't see the rest of them exchange nervous glances. They all realized that Jiwoo had been her only friend for a good while. And they could definitely see how difficult it was for Seohyun to let her go.

"Can I ask you something?" Seonghwa finally said.

"Whenever someone asks me if they can ask me something, it's usually going to be something about my personal life. Go ahead, shoot."

Seonghwa shook his head. "How many ghosts friends did you have to let go of?"

Seohyun stopped in her tracks. It took her a second before she started walking again. "That is a very good question, Seonghwa."

Mingi and Yunho exchanged looks. They knew she always made remarks like these when trying to avoid something. "Jiwoo has been your friend for a few months. It must be hard for you."

"It is, actually," Seohyun admitted. "And most of my friends, sadly, have been ghosts. They're a better company. I sharpen my dark humor on them. I make a lot of dead jokes, if you haven't noticed that already."

"I did," Mingi raised his hand, smiling sheepishly. "Knowing you can actually see ghosts makes them more funnier."

"I know," Seohyun smiled back.

They finally reached the restaurant. It was a traditional one, with tables set outside as well as inside. Potted plants made for most of the décor, a stark contrast to the mauve and white theme, and the scent of spices filled the air.

Seohyun's eyes traced what could have been a possible path; Jiwoo walking out of the door, a car speeding forward-

"How do you suppose we're gonna find some information? We can't just go and ask them to show us the CCTV footage or something," Yunho said, looking pointedly at the camera.

"We won't have to," Hongjoong said, "We just have to make up a good story. Come on, we're eating something from here."

"Really, Hongjoong? Do you think we have the time?" Seohyun asked.

"Trust me. Come on," Hongjoong said, not waiting for them and walking inside. They seated themselves in the corner, and a waiter came to take their order. After ordering some barbeque, Hongjoong told them that he was going to ask for water while they would be in the middle of eating, and they would start talking about the incident. When the waiter comes, he would hear them talk about it, and provide his comments on the topic without asking.

"If I was the waiter, I'd kick you out," Seohyun said, sitting back and folding her arms, making the rest of them snicker.

"This works every time," Hongjoong said, his eyes glinting with challenge, as he mirrored Seohyun's pose.

"And what if he doesn't talk?" Seohyun asked.

"In that case, I have a backup plan. I don't come unprepared." Hongjoong said, and Seohyun rolled her eyes, looking at Yunho who was sitting beside her.

"Is he always this confident about himself?" She asked.

"When he's sure, yes," Yunho nodded.

"Don't tell me he's a secret investigator or detective or something," Seohyun muttered.

"I could make some similar assumptions about you," Hongjoong muttered back.

"Shut up, blueberry."

"You should, you old-"

"Just because I have grey hair doesn't mean I'm old-"

"Stop it, you both," Seonghwa laughed. Hongjoong pouted. "But do you dye your hair?"

"Yeah. Some years ago I went blonde. Now I prefer the more... dead tones, if you will," Seohyun said, and Mingi grinned. "How's the drum learning going, Mingi?"

"Ah," Mingi sighed, "I still make do with boxes and plates. I think I could do a good freestyle if I had an actual drum set."

"I used to air drum all the time. You should drum along to some songs you like. Really helps."

"I'll try that," he smiled.

"When do you think you're showing us your music room?" Hongjoong asked.

"Not anytime soon," Seohyun said. Before Hongjoong could ask something, they saw the waiter come with their food. Hongjoong muttered ''play along' and started speaking.

"I've been wanting to try this place for a while now. But I heard there was some sort of accident here, so I couldn't come." Hongjoong widened his eyes in signal and Yunho began, "Oh I've tried, and I'll tell you, it's really good."

The waiter set their food, and Seohyun watched Hongjoong and Yunho go on about the restaurant, slightly amused. As soon as the waiter went, Hongjoong frowned at them.

"The three of you could have said something."

"This seemed more natural," Seohyun said. "Two guys raving about food. Nothing suspicious about that."

After a few bites of the amazingly juicy barbeque beef, Mingi asked for water. Hongjoong cleared his throat.

"I heard a girl died somewhere around here. They're saying it could be murder. People these days!"

"I'll tell you, sir," the waiter, a middle aged man with wrinkles around his eyes began, surprising Seohyun, "it was an accident. A bunch of students. The usual crowd. Had an argument and the girl went out in a rush- nobody followed. A few seconds later, we heard a horrible sound and screams. The people out there witnessed it."

"But why would people say she was pushed?" Seonghwa asked.

"People make all sorts of stories, girl," the man said, shaking his head in disapproval. "I was inside. I know none of the friends went after her. The crowd outside was too absorbed with their food. Nobody saw anything until the crash happened."

"Ah.. I see. So I guess since this was an accident, the matter cleared up quickly? With the police and all?"

"Of course," the man said, "they saw the footage. Nobody pushed her. A pity that people had to spread rumors like that. Didn't help us. Nobody came here for days."

"I'm sorry that happened," Yunho said, and Seohyun felt that he actually meant it. "I hope more people are coming here now, for the food."

"Oh we're getting back now. Enjoy," the man smiled at them and went away. They all looked at each other.

"So it's an accident. But this doesn't make sense," Seohyun said, "if she died because of her own mistake, why is she still hanging around?"

"Unfinished business?" Mingi suggested.

"Usually happens when someone is killed, but yeah. She must have made it to the hospital and lost her memories during treatment. That must mean she's holding a grudge, or actually has something so important to do that despite her memories being lost, somehow she stuck to this world."

"That makes sense," Yunho said.

They finished the food lost in thoughts, and decided that is that was the case, it was wiser to not talk to her family. She could be holding a grudge against them too.

Though they now knew how Jiwoo had died, and they were one step closer to sorting this all out, Seohyun felt dread creeping upon her.

-------------

"I can't believe you sent me to the wrong address!" Jiwoo exclaimed.

"It wasn't on purpose! Hongjoong's friend confused you with someone else. It seems like he deals with this kind of stuff often," Seohyun was nodding her head along, as if that could convince Jiwoo. "And anyway, at least it wasn't all a waste. We're going to the place where you died, are you sure you're ready?"

"Born ready," Jiwoo said, pumping her fist in the air.

"Born ready but-"

"Don't, Seohyun, just don't" San cut her off, shaking his head. Jiwoo laughed. Seohyun pouted but stopped.

The three of them were going to the place where Jiwoo had her accident. It was only yesterday that Seohyun had come with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho and Mingi, and had falsely led Jiwoo to someplace else with the rest of the boys. Now, upon constant insistence of Jiwoo, the two of them decided they'd better take her.

It wasn't because Jiwoo threatened to summon a bunch of revengeful ghosts. Nope. It certainly hadn't been that.

"We're close now," San said, pointing ahead, "It's right across the road. You should start looking on your own now. Without distractions."

"Don't look at me, San," Seohyun muttered.

"You're right. You both can... wait for me here. I'll see if it rocks a memory," Jiwoo said, and went ahead, leaving the two of them watching her go.

"Do you think we should be there for her?" Seohyun finally asked, "The memories might be painful."

"I think she should just walk down memory lane. We'd only distract her. Going on her own is sure to bring back some memories."

"I still wonder what made her stay," Seohyun said, and San looked at her. It was one of those moments when she was not wearing a filter. San felt like he was intruding- it was rare to see her so... present. There.

"Have you dealt with many murder cases? Or suicide ones?" San finally asked.

"You think it's one of the two?" She asked.

"I think it could be something simple. I know if I died today, the only reason I'd hang here would be to say a final goodbye. That is, if I die suddenly."

"Believe it or not, those are the hardest," Seohyun turned towards San, "With other cases, it's usually finding justice, or personal satisfaction. But goodbyes are difficult. I wouldn't want that for anyone. It's harder for those who are living."

San narrowed his eyes at her for the briefest moment. It felt like sometimes she meant more with what she spoke. Like there was a backstory he did not know.

"It looks like you've had some experience with that," San asked cautiously. Seohyun bit her lip and he saw the slightest of tremble in her hand before she closed them in a fist. She was suddenly reminded of San's hand on hers comforting her.

"You're right, actually," Seohyun finally said, surprising San, "I'll tell you. I need to move on too."

"You don't have to," San assured, but she shook her head.

"His name was Joon Hyuk. It was two years ago. He and I used to go to the same music academy. We were only friends then, not close, until he passed away suddenly. He had a heart problem."

"I'm sorry to hear that," San said. He truly was. He couldn't imagine how he'd cope if one of his friends met the same fate.

"I was shook, but that wasn't the end of the story. He was hanging on because he wanted to say goodbye to his family. It took him a few days, and I helped him come to terms with his death. That's when we grew close. I used to be home alone, and we'd just sit in the music room and talk all night. He told me all about his life. I told him about mine. He taught me to play the piano." Seohyun shivered a bit but continued. "He said his goodbye, but he still didn't move on."

"Does that usually happen?" San asked.

"No. It was because he found something to stay for. Me."

The breeze made San shiver too as it settled in. His heart twisted with emotions he couldn't recognize. He wanted to comfort Seohyun somehow, but he stood frozen.

"Ironic, isn't it? He found something to live for when he had already died." Seohyun's lips quivered. She stared at the light bulb near her, hoping it would force back her incoming tears. This wasn't the time to cry. She looked at San and smiled, "I knew it was wrong. But I was so alone. I craved friendship. I craved love. And I got it for a while. It was short. He started to change. You remember the old man?"

San nodded. The man because of whom he could now see ghosts too.

"It's like the process sped up. He started to become bitter. It would come and go. When he was sane, I finally told him to move on before he became- that, before I had to force myself to send him away. And he did. Without a goodbye this time. I guess that was the only way he could manage it."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Seohyun. I-"

San wanted to say so much but they heard a scream which was unmistakably Jiwoo's, and with a look at each other, they rushed to the source of the sound. They found Jiwoo clutching at her head, down on the ground

Seohyun rushed to her, sitting down and hugging her, muttering comforting stuff that San couldn't make out. He just stood and provided cover, hoping no one would notice Seohyun hugging the air.

It took a few seconds for Jiwoo to calm down, and when she did, she sighed loudly, looking at the sun.

"It's coming back," she announced. "I remember how I died. My own fault. How dumb is that?" She laughed.

"Glad to see you're back in your spirits," San scoffed.

"You, boy, have been making unintentional puns," Jiwoo scoffed back, making Seohyun grin.

"So how much do you remember?"

"It's coming back. You guys should go your own way. I'll just wait for it to come back. I think I know where to go too. I remember my home. I think- I think I know why I'm here too."

Seohyun and San shared a look. "You wanna tell us?"

"I gotta check something first," Jiwoo said, getting up and helping Seohyun up too. "Off you go."

"Weirdo," Seohyun muttered and Jiwoo just waved at her before she started walking. Seohyun was resting her hands on her hips, tapping her jeans, watching her go with a frown.

"IF YOU MOVE ON WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE I'LL HUNT YOU EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE OR WHEREVER IS IT THAT YOU GHOSTS GO!" Seohyun shouted at Jiwoo, startling San and the couple walking past.

"YOU BETTER HOLD A FREAKING FAREWELL PARTY THEN!" Jiwoo shouted back. Before Seohyun could retort, San took her by the arm and dragged her in the opposite direction, laughing and telling her she should stop before the whole neighbourhood comes out.

"I'll walk you home," San said. He wasn't sure if now was the time to leave Seohyun alone.

"If you insist," Seohyun said, and they walked in silence. San wanted to say something about how she had been wise to send Joon Hyuk off, something to comfort her, but he couldn't find the words. He was sure Seohyun would be too busy thinking about Jiwoo. He decided he'd walk in silence and let her sort her thoughts.

When they finally reached her home, Seohyun looked at San. "You wanna stop for some coffee? Maybe a snack?"

"Oh no, don't bother," San waved her off.

"I have chocolate chip cookies," Seohyun wiggled her eyebrows.

"That's not fair. Lead the way," he said, and Seohyun smiled in victory, letting him in.

Though the house looked plain from the outside, it wasn't such inside. It was well decorated, the brown and white reflecting the walls and the floor, and had an overall homey feel. Plus, it was quite spacious. No wonder she had a music room here.

San sat on the table in the kitchen, looking around while Seohyun made two cups of coffee. The refrigerator had fruit magnets with various lists sticking. Grocery, things to do. Doodles. San smiled. It really did look like Seohyun lived here. His eyes fell on her figure as she rocked back and forth, mixing the coffee. Her hair created quite a contrast with her navy blue shirt. The soft grey hair looked fluffy.

Seohyun turned around, catching San staring at her, and he shifted in his seat as Seohyun set the two cups and the cookies. San took one and bit into it.

"Oomph, that's delicious."

"Thank you. I made them."

"No way!" San was genuinely surprised. "I didn't know you liked baking."

"I like making food," Seohyun admitted, sipping the coffee.

"That sounds so mundane now," San laughed.

"What do you think I did at home? Made talismans?" Seohyun scoffed and San almost choked on his coffee.

"You surprise me everyday, Seohyun. We must look quite boring to you," San said.

"Well," Seohyun munched on the cookie, "You aren't boring. None of you are, actually. Why don't you tell me something I don't know about you then?"

"Well," San imitated Seohyun now, "I collect plushies. And I know taekwondo."

"That's... interesting. Taekwondo and plushies. Wow," Seohyun laughed. "Poor Shiber, I guess."

"HEY!" San frowned. "Your turn."

"I didn't realize we were taking turns?" Seohyun raised her brow but thought about it. "My favourite colour is blue."

"Mine's purple," San said. "I hate vegetables."

"Hard not to notice," Seohyun commented, biting into the cookie and thinking. "I want to be a musician."

"Cool. You can compose for us," San smiled and Seohyun smiled back mockingly.

A thought struck her. "Wanna see the music room?"

San raised his brows. "Can I?"

"If you want to?" Seohyun shrugged. "It's okay. That room needs air anyway."

"Alright then," San finished his coffee. Seohyun got up, her heart thumping. She was right. It was about time she opened that room for someone else. About time she let go too.

"Here we are," she said and fished out keys from her pocket (San thought she must carry them everywhere) and opened the room, turning on the light

It was gorgeous, San thought. A piano in the corner, a drum set in the other, couches as they entered, three different guitars hanging by the wall, a violin case resting on the table. The dim white lights made everything seem a bit eerie, but it smelled like roses, and indeed San noticed a scented candle on the table. It felt like a room full of memories.

"I do come in every now and then, but I don't really play anymore." Seohyun looked around.

"Can I see them?" San asked, and Seohyun nodded.

Seohyun watched as San examined the guitars then walked to the piano, running his fingers on the keys and making some sounds, then off to the drum set.

"I'd pay to see you play," he grinned.

"Oh you won't have to. I'll do that for free one day," Seohyun smiled.

"So you don't play anything anymore?"

"Just the violin sometimes. Or drums when I'm angry."

"Can I hear the violin?" San asked and Seohyun looked at him.

"Pretty please?" He made puppy eyes and Seohyun scoffed. "Now how do I reject that?"

Seohyun opened the violin case, saying something about how it's gonna be short. While she tested the strings and the bow, San sat on the piano stool nearby. Seohyun flipped her hair back and inhaled.

And then she played a tune so melodic, a tune so haunting that San wasn't sure if seconds had passed or minutes. He only saw her face, etched with the most emotions he'd seen on a single person. It was as if she was telling him a secret, baring her soul to him, and he just couldn't decipher it.

When she did stop, San felt short of breath. He just stared at her in awe and she came closer, already having put the violin back. "How was it?"

"That was... breathtakingly beautiful. You were amazing," San said and immediately felt like he should have said something more.

But she seemed to understand. "Thank you," she said. She was leaning against the piano. San got up and came closer.

"Thank you, Seohyun," he said, touching the tendrils of hair that fell on her shoulder, "For everything."

"I- I've done nothing," she almost whispered. San locked eyes with her, still playing with her hair, now his thumb caressing the soft skin of her cheek.

Seohyun stared back at the dark orbs, his gaze so sharp that a part of her wanted to run away but the other part wanted to never look away. San blinked once, then slowly, painfully slowly brought his face closer and kissed her cheek lightly, leaving her out of breath.

Thank you for playing for me," San said, "I'll never forget it."

And then he drew back, and Seohyun came out of the trance.

"If you sugar coat it so much I'll never bring you here again," Seohyun was smiling.

"Nah. Now I'll wait for the day you're angry," San winked, pointing at the drums. "I should give pointers to Mingi."

"HEY!"

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maybedefinitely404 · 4 years

Text

Day 19: Prinxiety/Loceit (pt 3)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 is here, with a little added something thrown in! Hope you enjoy!

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 19 - Everyone is born with a compass on their wrist, the needle of the compass points towards your soulmate.

Trigger/content warnings!! Dissociation, PTSD, talk of conversion therapy and aftereffects/internalized homophobia, food mentions, nausea, anxiety/panic attack, unintentionally skipping meals, emetophobia/vomiting, pulling hair (does that count as self harm?).

Word count: 5k

He barely remembered the hospital. It was all just a blur of doctors and police officers and more sleep than he’d gotten in weeks. After the first night of twitching in the dark confines of his hospital room and waking up screaming from nightmares the few brief seconds his consciousness faded, he was given sleeping pills, and the rest of the visit was quickly forgotten. The clearest part of the two week stay was near the end, when he was deemed physically well enough to give a statement to his social worker and a policeman, describing his ‘therapy’ and his life at the foster home, which quickly dissolved into a panic attack. They had enough though, and he was left with a sick satisfaction that they weren’t getting away with what they’d done to him.

They’d lied to him. They had told him the system agreed with what they were doing, allowing it, condoning it. At first, he’d refused to believe them, because that made no sense. But they took his only form of contact, didn’t allow him to leave the house except for therapy, and his eventual addition of medication far too strong for him made him paranoid. Maybe he didn’t believe them as much as he was just trying to survive. He still didn’t know how they’d managed to keep up the charade when they were being checked on bi-weekly; he hadn’t even known when said visits were happening.

“They’ll be spending some time in prison for child abuse. Not nearly enough, but still,” A social worker said quietly as he drove him back to his old group home. Virgil stared numbly out the window. “The kids were taken from them for the time being. They were deemed unfit parents. Foster care until they can find either some relatives or the parents are allowed them back.”

He didn’t react, although his heart nearly stopped in his chest. The parents hadn’t been great, but the kids had been happy enough. And now they were forced into a shoddy system… because of him. Virgil blinked rapidly to stop the tears that threatened to flow.

“You alright, Virge?”

He finally turned from the blurry mass of green trees out the car window, turning blankly to the man driving. The worker glanced from the road to meet his eyes, sighing.

No, he wasn’t alright. But he’d never say otherwise. Volunteering information about himself was how he’d gotten himself into this situation in the first place. He wasn’t about to do it again.

----------

That had been almost a month ago, and he was still to break out of his selective mutism. It wasn’t as if he was choosing not to speak; it wasn’t stubbornness. He felt as if his brain and his mouth were disconnected, like his thoughts were less coherent and more just abstract emotion, and he couldn’t turn them into words. Any question that couldn’t be answered by a simple nod or head shake was met with a blank stare, a far off gaze, that was unnerving to anyone. They’d tried to put him back into therapy, but the moment it was mentioned, Virgil spiralled into the worst panic attack he could ever remember having.

He’d gotten his old room back, with two new kids as his roommates. He quickly built up the same reputation as before: this room is mine unless you’re sleeping. No kid wanted to be near him when he was awake, staring at nothing, his only movements being his occasional blinking. Frankly, the younger ones were scared of him.

And he didn’t care.

Some days he fell so deep into dissociating that he didn’t even react when he was called for dinner. The world around him dissolved, blurry and unfocused and just quiet, retreating into his own mind where he could breathe. Reality was too much. It was just… too much. One of his doctors had said it might be a side effect as they eased him off his criminally high dose of antipsychotics they’d hidden in his drinks, but that was an afterthought. He was warm, he was full (when he was aware enough to eat), and so he faded into his head. He’d cope with his trauma another day.

“You haven’t eaten all day, honey,” A soft voice said and he blinked, looking up from his bed sheets at the worker. She was one of his favorites; gentle, quiet, respecting his boundaries. In her hands was a plate with dinner on it.

He gave an almost imperceptible nod, barely more than a single bob, and she sat across from him on the bed, placing the plate in front of him. With heavy hands, he lifted a cold green bean to his mouth. It was gross, but the plate was empty in minutes. Apparently it had been a whole day.

“Virgil, I want to talk to you,” She said. Now full, his brain would let him stay present for a little while until dissociation took over again. He pushed himself back against the wall and brought his knees to his chest, watching her movements.

“It’s not anything bad, I promise. I’ve been talking with some other workers, some connections I have across the state.”

He didn’t like where this was going.

“One of them suggested a couple that’s fostered for over a decade. They have a fantastic record, so I got into contact with them-”

“No.” The first thing he’d said in weeks, his voice scratchy from disuse. For once, the mess in his brain came together to form the single word, an immediate rejection. He pushed himself farther away from her, shaking his head violently. “No, no, no.”

“Virgil, breathe,” She reached out a hand and Virgil flinched so hard his head hit the wall. The hand retreated. “You don’t have to go with them if you’re uncomfortable, hun. Please just trust me, though, they’d never do anything that they did.”

He glared at her, trying to read her expression in the dark room. Silence stretched between them as Virgil’s thoughts drifted back to their state of quietude, leaving him unable to form words, beginning to drift away from reality. His eyelids flickered as focusing became harder, his mind’s eye suddenly alight with the blinding white lights of the therapy room.

“Will you meet them at least, Virgil? Just for a few minutes? And if you still say no after, I’ll never bring them up again.”

He found himself nodding without properly meaning it. He just wanted her to leave… he just wanted to be alone. So he could drift away, without having to fear anyone hurting him anymore.

She left, taking the empty plate with her.

----------

Just because he knew today he was meeting his potential (not gonna happen) foster parents, it didn’t mean he was allowed to be present for the rest of the day. His favorite worker had come back again, motivating him to get ready and dressed, since he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to find the energy to even just put on a sweater, much less get himself completely ready.

Looking in the mirror hurt. His hair was starting to grow back, just barely long enough to run his fingers through, never mind getting anywhere long enough to cover his eyes like it used to. The bags under his eyes were darker than he could remember them ever being and his hands shook as he brushed his teeth. Biting down on the bristles, he grabbed a towel and threw it over the mirror, feeling a slight tinge of relief when he was no longer forced to look at himself. The social worker watched from the doorway, silently.

He was tempted to go to sleep when he was done, completely exhausted from the little bit of work. But she brought him breakfast and his stomach growled in agreement, so he ate enough of the oatmeal to satiate his hunger, and not a bite more. A nervous nausea was already swirling in his gut and he didn’t need to add to it.

“Would you like to be left alone?” She asked, taking the empty bowl.

Virgil nodded, already feeling the heaviness and emptiness that came with dissociation starting to creep through his limbs.

“I’ll come let you know when they’re here, okay?” He had no recollection of her leaving the room, but the next time he drifted back to the present, she was gone.

He took a nap around noon, too tired and overwhelmed to stay awake for any longer. Plus, with new rushes of anxiety flooding his system every couple seconds, he was ready to not be conscious for a hot minute. He tried to convince himself that it would be okay, he’d struggle through an awkward meeting where the foster parents would eventually give up on him and leave, and he could spend his remaining year and a month in the system. Hopefully in that year he could figure enough out to survive when he was alone.

A joyous child screeching downstairs woke him up three hours later, jerking him awake with a pounding heart.

It wasn’t an hour later when there was a soft knock at his door and he threw himself into the corner, pulling his blanket up to his chest. No, no, no, he wasn’t ready- The door opened painfully slowly, spilling the light from the hallway into his pitch black room.

“Virgil? I’m here with one of the foster parents, can I come in?”

She poked her head into the room and squinted to meet his eyes in the darkness, eventually finding his hunched form on his bed. Wordlessly, she opened the door all the way and walked up to him, flicking on the bedside lamp. A pleasantly soft light filled the room, illuminating the man standing at the door. Virgil began to shake.

He wasn’t overly tall, probably just a head or so taller than Virgil, dressed in a plain yellow button up and black jeans. At first, he didn’t seem too intimidating, but neither had the other family at first glance. When he walked into the room, just so he was less of a silhouette, Virgil eyes were drawn to the large burn scar covering the left side of his face, just a shade darker than the right, but the skin mottled and textured.

“Virgil, this is Janus Oakmen. His husband was unable to join him today, but-”

Husband? Virgil’s breath hitched. His husband, his husband, he’s gay, gay gay gay- His anxiety skyrocketed, and he couldn’t help the electric-like impulses that ran up his spine and out his fingers. He clenched his fist to hide the remaining twitches.

She seemed to stumble over her words, trying to hide her shock. To her luck, the man interrupted, smiling softly down at Virgil.

“I’d like to speak to Virgil alone, if he’s alright with that.”

“I’ll be waiting just outside the door,” She said hurriedly, rushing out and closing the door behind her. And they were alone.

Janus looked at him for barely a second before taking a seat on the bottom bunk on the other side of the small room, folding his hands on his lap.

“Technically, I asked if you were okay with it, but…” He gestured weakly to the door. “Oh, well. I was told you don’t talk, Virgil.”

He stared in response, wrapping his fists up in the blanket. The man gave a breathy chuckle, but there was no animosity behind it.

“That’s okay. Just wanted to double check. Is it okay with you if I just talk, then?”

No adult had ever asked Virgil for permission for anything twice in under a minute. His social workers kind of just did what they had to, and he’d never been in a home where that kind of thing was the norm. It was more ‘the kids ask for everything, and the parents get what they want, no questions asked’. Needless to say, he was taken aback.

He nodded weakly, realizing the man was waiting for a response.

“Fabulous. Ignoring all the boring details you wouldn’t care about, my name is Janus. Like, from mythology, not a PTA mom. I’m thirty-five, and my husband Logan and I have been fostering since we were twenty-two, so we know what we’re doing. We love it.”

Virgil slowly let his legs unfurl, stretching them out in front of him under the blanket.

“We actually weren’t intending to foster this year, since Logan is looking for a new job. His current one just made it necessary for him to travel more than he would like to, so we wanted to press pause until he was happy at a new one. And then we got a call from good ole Bev out there.” He waved at the door again, cracking a smile. “She told us a little bit of your story, and Logan and I instantly said yes. If you’ll have us, that is.”

The vague idea of “why?” crossed Virgil’s mind, and it must have translated to his face, because Janus continued.

“When I was fifteen, I came out to my parents as gay. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but they weren’t such big fans, and they put me in conversion therapy.”

His heart stopped. Another round of shocks through his arms.

“We can talk about that more another day, if you want. I know that’s a tough topic for you. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Because it doesn’t work,” He shrugged, an annoyed tone finding its way into his words, “I understand what you’re going through, to an extent. If anyone can help you, it’s us. I’ve been there. And I promise, we’re fiercely protective. We’d never let anything bad happen to you.”

He stopped, leaning forward on his hands. Virgil realized he probably couldn’t see him that well except for his outline, due to him being pressed into the darkest corner of the room. Despite every cell in his body screaming that it was a trick, he scooted forward into the light of the lamp, still shaking.

“There you are. Hello, Virgil.”

Virgil raised a trembling hand in a half hearted greeting.

“I know this is a big, terrifying thing to ask of you. And I’ll understand if you say no. But if you feel safe, we’d love to have you for however long you’re comfortable with. Would you like to think it over?”

He nodded immediately. It wasn’t the hard ‘no’ he had expected himself to feel, and that was more unsettling than it should have been.

“Okay. You do that. Take however long you need,” Janus said as he stood up, straightening his shirt, “It’s been great to meet you, Virgil.”

And he was gone. The social worker came back a short while later, but Virgil was completely gone by the time she did. He didn’t respond to her dinner calls, didn’t eat when the meal was placed in front of him, safely retreated into the silent part of his mind where he was safe from panic attacks and hard choices.

---

He said yes. Of course he did. He was far too intrigued by the man he’d met to refuse. He was scared shitless, that was a given; the first week after meeting Janus, he’d refused to leave his bed, refused to eat or shower or leave his huddle against the wall until the caretaker was basically pleading with him. Even then, it was a struggle to not throw up from sheer terror.

But his social worker must have seen the way he was giving in, yearning for a grasp of hope in equal parts as his fear, because she set about to convince him. Promised more thorough checks once a week, daily phone calls to keep in touch, and an immediate pick up the moment he was unsure. Bit by bit his resolve was broken, until he finally agreed to give it a try, rushing from her presence moments later to hurl his dinner into the toilet. Hopefully his nerves would relax over time.

The day came when he was to leave the group home, and he spent none of it in the present. He was so dissociated, so deeply embedded within his own mind, that he wasn’t even able to pack his belongings. His social worker was kind enough to do it for him (though the task itself took less than half an hour- he didn’t own that much) and he didn’t even notice she was in the room, talking, until his black garbage bag was placed on the bed in front of him.

“ -unresponsive like this all day. We’re not sure what to do.”

“No doubt a response to his overwhelming fear of being placed in a new home after the disaster of his previous one. May I speak to him alone?”

“Of course.”

“Want me to leave too, Lo?”

“No, Janus, you can stay. It may be nice to have your expertise in the subject lest it become pertinent.”

There was some shuffling at the very corners of his consciousness, the light from the hallways lighting up the divots of his rumpled clothing bag, and one of the people were gone. His bedside lamp was flicked on.

“Thank you, Janus.”

A weight on the bed was the first thing to really snap Virgil back to the presence, for the first time noticing the two men before him. The one standing, he recognized as Janus. The other sitting in front of him, though, he didn’t know. Virgil blinked rapidly, slowly pushing himself further back into his bed frame, despite how it dug into his shoulders.

“Hello, Virgil. My name is Logan. I take it you’ve met my husband?”

Janus shot him a soft smirk, copying Virgil’s little wave from when they’d first interracted. He barely restrained a rush of twitches, playing it off as a shuffle to rearrange his blanket.

“Do you think you could move forward just enough to place your feet on the ground? You don’t have to stand, just to begin the process of grounding?”

Virgil didn’t trust this guy for anything. He didn’t know his intentions, knew nothing about him, and his repressed mental state wasn’t making his cognitive reasoning any better. If Logan could help him ground, maybe it would be easier to figure out if they were trustworthy. Odd, that for this to work, he had to trust them enough to ground around them.

He scooted forward, letting his feet flutter off the bed and rest on the floor.

“Well done, Virgil. Press them to the floor firmly. Janus, do you have- ah, wonderful.”

Virgil looked up, nearly throwing himself back as Janus reached out a hand to him. There was something clutched in his fingers, but all the youngest could suddenly think was electrode electrode it’s going to hurt they’re going to hurt you don’t let it touch you don’tletittouchyou DON’T!

“It’s just gum, Virge, it’s okay.”

Oh. His hand paused as he reached out for the offering, a new thought coming to mind. Should he trust food from strangers? What if they’d drugged it, like his old foster home? He bit his lip, slowly retreating back into himself.

The man seemed to see his hesitation, popping the piece into his mouth and offering one right from the package.

“I didn’t mess with it, I swear.”

He took the gum, recoiling at the harsh taste almost instantly.

“Yeah, it doesn’t taste great. But I chewed like a pack of this a day when dissociation was a bitch. Snaps you back to the present like-”

“Language, Janus.”

“I’m sure he’s heard worse.”

“That doesn’t mean we should encourage it.”

Virgil couldn’t help the tiny smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. He hadn’t seen just casual bickering in a long time.

“We brought one more bribe-”

“It is not a bribe-”

He outright snorted at Logan’s aghast tone, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. Janus looked utterly pleased with himself, slowly handing over a bundle he’d had wrapped under his arm.

“Again, to help with grounding. And it’s a bit of a drive to our place, so maybe you can get some sleep in the car.”

It was a deep purple blanket, almost impossibly soft to the touch. Virgil couldn’t help run his fingers over the plush material, fighting the urge to just smash his face into it. Keeping an eye on the two, Virgil unfolded it and wrapped it tightly around himself, settling to just let his cheek rub against where it was draped over his shoulder.

It took another twenty minutes for him to feel able to walk without stumbling, but if he left the group home in a fuzzy blanket and starting to feel safer than he had in months, that was his to admit. And he wouldn’t… not yet.

-----------

Virgil stared down at the piece of paper clutched tightly in his hand, re-reading his shitty handwriting for the millionth time. He knew it was proper grammar, and nothing was spelled wrong, and it was clear and concise, but a part of him was still nervous about the idea of giving it to Janus. He was still hesitant to speak, and his new foster family was more than accommodating, giving him a small white board to write on, and even teaching him the most basic sign language for simple questions (courtesy of Logan). One day, he hoped he’d get his confidence back enough to speak, but right now, he felt no rush.

Being surrounded with these new people, even for the three short weeks he’d been there, had already been enough to minimize his dissociating spells. Logan didn’t have to leave for another work trip for another week, and Janus worked from home anyways, so he was getting way more love and affection than he was ever used to. He hadn’t quite given in to Janus’ offered hugs, or any casual touch at all really, but he was getting used to one of the two just sitting with him for hours, covering him with weighted and fuzzy blankets, and gently distracting him with puzzles or that god-awful gum or just repeating where he was, and that he was safe. Was this what being loved was supposed to feel like?

So he trudged down the steps, hearing the shower running as he walked past the master bedroom, and slowly approached Janus at the dining room table. The man turned to greet him, giving him that soft smirk.

“Morning, kid. Happy birthday.”

Virgil smiled shyly, remembering the sign for thank you after a moment, and dropped the note onto the table next to Janus’ mug. He took a seat across from him, hiding his shaking hands in his lap, and watched with bated breath as he took the slip of paper and read it.

“‘How long did it take you to feel okay with Logan after CT?’ As in, feel okay dating a man?”

Virgil nodded and then, just for practice, signed yes.

“The short answer? Probably two years, and I was still hesitant going into the relationship. It took us a longer time to get to the comfort level we’re at now. You need to go at your pace, Virgil. You shouldn’t force anything.”

And then, as he tended to do when no one was there to fill the silence, he began to rant. This was also something Virgil was surprised he had come to enjoy, pulling up his feet so he could sit cross legged on the chair and setting his chin overtop his folded arms on the table.

“I think it’s ridiculous that our basic human rights are still up for debate,” Janus sighed, taking a long sip of his tea, “Soulmarks are more than enough proof that we have no control over who we love- not that we should need that kind of proof to be validated. But people are afraid of what they don’t know, so they portray us as monsters who need to be fixed.” He’d begun rubbing absentmindedly at his wrist and Virgil’s eyes tracked the movement, noticing for the first time the small compass that was just a couple shades darker than the man’s skin. It almost blended in, and he probably never would have noticed it, if the small needle in the center weren’t slowly rotating towards the stairs.

Logan entered the dining room from that direction, greeting his husband with a small kiss on the head and his foster child with a relaxed smile. He must have noticed Virgil’s occasional glance at the other’s wrist, wordlessly flipping over his own arm. His matching compass was pulling towards Janus’, an ever present symbol that they were meant to be together. Then, he patted his husband’s shoulder, going to get the coffee his husband always made for him.

“You’re not broken, Virgil,” Janus murmured. Virgil’s head shot up, surprised at his bluntness, “You’re not. And if anyone tells you differently, they’ll have to deal with me,” He said firmly as he took a long sip.

“No threatening, Janus!”

Virgil snorted into his fist, grinning as Janus winked at him and said, “Sorry, Logan,” into his mug.

“Incorrigible.” Logan sighed as he exited the kitchen with his coffee, dropping into the seat between the two. “And happy birthday, Virgil. Would you like to choose what we have for breakfast, or would you like us to decide?”

That was something they’d learned about him quickly; he had awful choice paralysis. Choosing between two choices was already anxiety inducing, but a variety of things, like having to narrow it down to one food item? Lethal. Virgil quickly pointed to Logan, who chuckled.

“French toast, then?”

Virgil nodded.

“I’ll get started on that in a moment. Janus, do you have his gift?”

“It’s in the living room, let me go get it.”

And that got his heart racing. ‘Gifts’ weren’t good things. They were leverage, blackmail, with a promise of a ‘returned favor’ in the near future. Virgil didn’t like things held against him like that. What if they gave him a present, and then demanded he pay them back for it the moment things weren’t peachy? Who was he kidding, he was in the honeymoon phase of this new foster family. It would take a month, like it did with the others, and then they’d find something about him that they hated and they’d force him to change it and he wouldn’t be able to refuse because they gave him food and shelter and above all, a gift on his birthday, and he would owe them a debt and he was stuck and-

“Virgil? What are five orange things you can see?”

His head popped up- when had he grabbed his hair like that?- and he noticed how heavily he was breathing. His foster parents were looking at him in concern, not pity, but legitimate concern for his well being (wack), Janus holding his hands behind his back. It was Logan that had spoken.

“Five orange things you can see, Virgil. You can just point.”

Don’t disappoint them more, his mind screamed, so he pointed at the far wall, near the entryway.

“The bridge on the calendar picture, very good. What else?”

Point through the pass through window into the kitchen.

“The sponge, well done. Three more.”

In front of Janus’ empty seat.

“The letters on the mug-”

Quick point to the book shelf in the living room.

“-and the book on my shelf. Last one?”

It took Virgil a longer moment before he found a cup of pens on the small coffee table behind the sofa, gesturing to the orange capped pen amongst the others.

“Wonderful. Are you feeling a bit better now?”

He didn’t respond, choosing to track Janus’ movements as he sat back into his chair, adjusting his hands so they were on his lap, most likely holding the gift he was hiding. Logan leaned against the couch as his husband spoke.

“Kid, I need you to understand something, alright? You don’t owe us anything. We want to give you a gift because it’s your birthday, and we want to celebrate you. This isn’t some favor that you have to return.”

How Janus understood Virgil’s distress, the younger could only guess. But his words of reassurance were enough to get Virgil to accept the wrapped package as he presented it with minimal shaking, for once demanding his brain relax. Neither of the men mentioned how delicately he unwrapped it, carefully tugging at the tape as to not rip the paper. Why risk it?

His mouth gaped when he saw the present for the first time, holding the box in a white knuckled grip.

“We were told yours was taken from you and never returned, and figured that you needed a new one,” Logan said.

It was the first new thing Virgil had ever gotten. His clothes were from thrift stores or hand downs, his school supplies consisted of a found pencil and a ripped binder from the group home’s storage, forget ever having his own computer or video games or…

“This is a phone!”

“That it is.” Janus was smiling, taking a sip of his now lukewarm tea.

“I can’t- You can’t just- I don’t-”

“We can, and we did. You’re seventeen, you kind of need a phone just for everyday life. And unless you give us a reason not to trust you with it, we have no worries.”

Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t-

Janus slid the tissue box across the table, but Virgil elected to ignore it, refusing to take his eyes off the box in his hands.

“Thank you,” he barely choked out, “Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome, Virgil,” Logan responded for the both of them, returning back to the kitchen nonchalantly as if he hadn’t just given Virgil more than he’d ever gotten in his entire life combined. “I’m going to start on breakfast.”

“I can help you set it up. Then you can download some music… maybe contact the soulmate of yours again.” Janus switched chairs so he was next to Virgil, careful not to touch him, and Virgil couldn’t help grinning blindingly up at him.

It would only be after breakfast that Virgil would realize that he’d spoken. It would be a longer journey until he’d be able to talk again effortlessly, but he was a step closer.

Part 4 HERE!

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celestialinception · 3 years

Text

When All is Right with the World

Summary: When the ministry issues a call out for the proving of blood status, Fred decides that it’s too dangerous for the Reader and him to be together, leading to unforeseen consequences.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Whump, brief mentions of torture, lots of angst. You know the drill.

A/n: This is set in Deathly Hallows after the golden trio have gone off Horcrux hunting. There will be a part two posted as well :)

Fred paced the flat, giving the appearance to George as if he was trying to wear a hole in the carpet. The clock on the wall chimed 6, startling the twins out of their thoughts. Both of them had been on edge since the Bill and Fleurs’ wedding, waiting for Deatheaters to turn up at their door at a moment’s notice. At this point, George could not remember the last time he had a good night’s sleep.

Fred resumed his pacing.

“Alright stop it, you’re going to do my bloody head in; stop walking.” Fred stopped. “Thank you. You know she’ll be back soon.” Y/n was due back from her shift at St. Mungo’s at any minute.

“I know. I know. That’s half the problem.”

George sighed. “So, you’re going to do it then?”

At that moment, Fred looked more tired than George had ever seen him. “I have to. I don’t have a choice.” Fred ran a hand over his eyes.

“Well you know how I feel on the subject but…”

“But nothing. I’ve told you why this has to happen.”

“And I’ve told you why we can make this work!”

Fred thought back to the conversation they last had on this topic earlier in the week.

“If she stays with us, she’s going to get hurt.”

“Look I get it. She’s my best friend as well. But at least if she is with us, she can have some protection.”

“Protection that will mean nothing if she gets targeted by a band of snatchers because she’s associating with blood traitors! She is better off as far away from us… and from me, as possible.”

“We can go and...”

“No. We can’t. She’s half-blood George, and her dad, the only one who could have proved her status mind, is dead. Besides, if they know she’s with me, they’ll target her to get me to spill information on Harry. For both of their sakes I can’t.” Fred looked out of the kitchen entryway back to their room where Y/n was sleeping.

“You’re not thinking this through. There are ways of hiding people.”

“You and I both know that that won’t work…”

Fred came back to the present and shook his head, “It’s not going to happen George, I’ve made up my mind.”

“You’re being a git! If you’d just think for once instead of being a bloody impulsive-”

“I WON’T HAVE HER DIE BECAUSE OF ME!” Fred’s voice cracked.

Unbeknownst to the twins, the door behind them creaked open as the third occupant of their flat walked in.

“I can’t..”

“Fred? Are you alright?” Y/n stood in the doorway, coat in hand, anxiously peering between the two of them. Fred felt as though an icy two-ton ball had just been dropped into his stomach.

“George, can you leave us alone for a minute please.”

George tried to protest.

“Please, George.”

Fred looked him dead in the eye and George, seeing that his twin would not be swayed from his decision, got up and headed towards their back door. He gave Y/n a small, sad smile, before he disappeared into the night.

“Fred, why did George look like that? What’s going on?”

Fred steeled himself for what had to be done. While he was turned away from Y/n it was easier to pretend he was emotionally shut off from the situation.

“We need to have a talk.”

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” Fred grimaced to himself and turned around.

“I think we need to talk about… us.” This is the only way to do it. The only way she’ll actually leave.

“Alright,” Y/n sat down on the couch, still holding onto her coat. Her fingers were twisting the belt. “Shoot.”

Fred took a deep breath, “I think it might be time that we stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“Our relationship. I want to see other people.”

“Other.. What? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no, no, this isn’t about other people. This is about me getting hurt isn’t it.” Y/n paused for a minute, as if she was expecting Fred to nod yes emphatically and ask for forgiveness. He wanted to.

“I told you I’m not…”

Fred lied through his teeth, “This isn’t about that. I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”

She was beginning to look hurt now, he pressed on. “I don’t want to be tied down anymore. This is not working for me. I’m tired of this,” he gestured between them

“But you said that-” Break it off now quick like ripping off a plaster.

“I don’t love you anymore.” He heard her quick intake of breath.

She then started to laugh. It was high and sharp and completely unbecoming to her.

“You’re joking right now. I know you are, and George is going to pop out any minute, but I can tell you, this is not funny.” She got up from the couch and moved closer to him. Her finger poked him in the chest. “You can stop the charade now. You’re not like this, you’re not this cruel. If this is not about trying to protect me and this is a joke you need to stop now. It’s not funny and it hurts.”

Her eyes were shining with tears. It took all his strength not to pull her closer, but to instead move away.

“This is not a prank. I’m being honest. I’m done.”

“Can I get an actual reason why?” Because this is for your own good.

“I’ve changed. I don’t love you anymore. You are not a person that I want to keep in my life. I want to find someone who can actually do that for me.” Lies, Lies, Lies.

“Oh. And you’re sure about that?”

He almost choked, “Positive.”

“Well then” She was avoiding looking into his eyes. “I guess we’re done then.”

She looked at the wall and he stared at his feet, fearing that if he saw her eyes or trembling lip the whole charade would come crashing down.

Her voice was tight and shaky, “If you give me half an hour I can be out of here with my stuff.”

He nodded, still not looking at her. He walked to the door, and opened it, the cool night air chilling him.

“Say goodbye to George for me.”

He looked through the doorway to see her one last time, standing with her back facing him, the yellow light from the kitchen giving her an almost otherworldly glow.

Before he lost resolve he shut the door, and walked away, leaving her behind.

_____________________________________________________________

Y/n held her breath, ears straining for the sound of branches cracking from outside her tent. She silently cursed as the now falling snow would muffle the footsteps of any passers-by, making it even more difficult to escape if the snatchers uncovered her hiding spot.

After the ministry had issued the call out for the proving of blood status, Y/n had begun to move from place to place, only stopping for the night, and always leaving before daybreak. With Fred out of the picture, there had been nothing holding her to London, and so she had set off, staying at little inns under false names, trying to destroy any trail she may be unintentionally creating.

Despite creating distance between herself and London, Fred still managed to pop himself into her thoughts no matter where she went. On one rather depressing occasion, she mistook a muggle in the street for him, and when she got back to her bed at the tavern, spent the rest of the evening drinking down a particularly big bottle of firewhisky.

She hadn’t forgiven him. That, she was very firm to maintain with herself. Not only what he’d done but how he had done it, had hurt, and Y/n was adamant that she would never let that happen again.

But despite not forgiving him she still had relapses in missing the life she had had. The evenings at the Leaky Cauldron after they were both too tired from work to actually cook. Sitting in the twin’s office gleefully testing out their new projects. The peaceful breakfasts when the shop had to open early, where the streets outside were calm, and lamps were still shining mutedly through the morning mist. Those mornings had been her favourite, where all had seemed to be right in her world. And now her mornings were spent on the run avoiding snatchers.

It was pitch black in her tent, and Y/n closed her eyes, concentrating on trying to make out the soft sounds outside. In the last couple of towns she had stayed in, she had caught glimpses of snatchers, and when she saw them in the last inn she was staying at, had folded up her small bag of luggage and apparated to the next town over. On the outskirts of the town was a dense forest, and so after purchasing a tent from a nearby muggle camping shop, she hiked up into the woods praying that she would be so deeply concealed that the snatchers would give up.

A rustle on her left made her inhale sharply, and Y/n bit her lip in an effort not to make a sound. Then she heard them.

“How long we gonna be Scabior? I’m just ‘bout freezin’ my bloody pants off out here. I don’t think the girl’s around. We would have seen her by now.”

“We are goin’ to be as long as it takes. I know she’s ‘round here. There were footprints ‘bout a mile back.”

Shit. Y/n had placed concealment charms around the campsite, but she must have forgotten to clear-out her tracks from earlier. She had made the tent invisible, but she had not had time to cast a muffliato charm before they came closer. She didn’t dare speak now, not when they were so close.

“We’ll canvas the area a little longer, and ‘en we’ll go. If my source’s right, she’s the girlfriend of one o’ the Weasleys.” Scabior spat on the ground, “Filthy little blood trai’ors they are. But she’ll be good leverage for them to spill on Potter’s whereabouts. The dark lord will be most pleased. And then they’ll be a nice little reward for those who helped bring that about.” The group murmured in agreeance and continued trudging their way around Y/n’s campsite.

Once they were far enough away, Y/n performed the muffliato spell and began packing up her things in the tent. She needed to move, now. If she got caught there was no one coming to rescue her.

“I don’t think she’s here, Scabior.” Another voice Y/n had not heard before spoke up. There were at least three snatchers then. They were making their way back through the site and her escape was becoming more necessary by the minute. She would never be able to get past three of them.

“Well ‘en, I s’pose we can..” The tent shook slightly as Scabior fell down. With icy dread she realised he had fallen over one of her guy ropes. “Wha’ the.. There’s somethin’ invisible ‘round ‘ere!”

They were going to find her. Dread filled her as she knew she needed to do everything in her power to save Harry. Y/n acted on instinct.

Out of the tip of her wand, the form of a beautiful, shining unicorn appeared and bowed its head. Y/n spoke lowly and quickly.

“George, I have been, or will soon be, caught by snatchers.” She inhaled sharply, trying to stop the fear in her voice. “They are going to use me to get to Fred and Harry. They still think we’re together and they’re coming for you at the Burrow. Get Fred and yourself out of there and don’t tell them anything! Protect Harry at all costs, he’s the only one who can get us out of this.” Her voice nearly broke “Please be careful. Tell Fred I...” Y/n screamed as two hands grabbed her from behind and began to pull her out of the tent. The unicorn ran off, fading through the wall of the tent.

“Now look what we ‘ave ‘ere.” Y/n wand was ripped out of her hands. “I think we just found the key to mister Pottah. Stand up there pre’tty, I ‘aven’t got all day.”

Y/n was forced to her feet.

“Now look at that. Not too shabby for a thief.” Scabior trained his wand on her.

“I’m not a..”

“Save it, pre’tty. No point denyin’ that you stole your magic.”

“I’m half-blood. My father was..” Y/n was cut off again, this time by one of the other snatchers.

“Don’t matter what your father was, unless he can come and explain to the ministry that you’re his daughter. But wait, he can’t. ‘Cause he’s dead.” He chuckled nastily. “But that’s not the most important thing right now love, we’ve got another purpose for you.”

Scabior was growing impatient. “Rookwood, grab ‘er and let’s go. We’re goin’ to take her to Malfoy’s.”

“Right you are then,” With a flick of his wand, ropes tied around Y/n’s feet, hands, and mouth. Every time Y/n struggled they grew tighter.

“You’d best stop with that, or you might not ‘ave hands and feet by the time we are done with you. Although you might not ‘ave ‘em even without the ropes.” The snatchers laughed as Y/n was secured and her ropes held onto by Rookwood. With a stinking warm breath, he simpered in her ear, “Hold on tight.” Y/n couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran down her back.

They disapparated away from the camp.

_____________________________________________________________

The Burrow was quiet. Without the usual hubbub of everyone in the family going on with their day to day activities, the house was almost silent, with the only noises to be heard being Molly’s knitting needles. Fred did not like it at all.

With the shops business being reduced to Owl-orders, the twins had had more time to visit their family. George was currently upstairs twiddling with a new design, and Fred assumed his father was playing again with the muggle radio he had gotten for his birthday. Fred himself was distractedly musing over accounts, one of the only terrible parts of his job. Still, it was a way to pass the time. It was all he seemed to do these days, work, sleep and sometimes talk on Lee’s show Potterwatch.

The clock chimed 9;30 against the silence, and Fred put his head in his hands. He contemplated going up to bed, but upon remembering his argument with George earlier in the evening, decided against it.

George had snapped at him after Fred had only distractedly listened as he listed the new modifications he was planning for one of the new products. He had rounded on Fred, telling him he was bloody useless while he was so hung up on feeling sorry for himself and that if he was going to keep being a prat, the least he could do was fake interest in their livelihood. Fred had then immediately bit back, which had ended in a full-out argument between the two. Arthur had stepped in after they had started to shove each other around, and Molly had ordered them to go to other ends of the house, to which the twins had no issue with doing. Fred had been at the kitchen table doing accounts since.

The clattering of knitting needles on the wooden table shook Fred out of his reverie.

“Alright, you and I need to have a talk” Molly Weasley pulled out a chair opposite to her son.

“You and George don’t argue. And what your father and I saw up there was not usual.”

“We argue all the time. That’s what siblings do.”

“Yes, but not like this. And this has been happening a lot lately. Is this about Y/n?”

“Mum…” Fred sighed dejectedly

“Is it? Because I know George misses her so I can’t imagine how you are feeling.” She gave him a pointed look. Fred started to defend himself, but she cut him off,

“Cut it out Fred, I know you didn’t break up with her because you didn’t love her anymore. I saw the way you two looked at each other. It was the way your father looks at me.” She smiled at him softly.

Fred got frustrated then. Why can’t they understand?

“I had to Mum, she’s in enough danger as it is. There’s no one to vouch for her blood status. I had to, for her sake. She would never have gone if I didn’t make up another excuse.”

“But dear, why not…”

“He would have used her to get to me and to Harry. He would have tortured her Mum. Maybe even killed her. How could I live with myself knowing that she died because of me? At least now she has a chance of escape.” Tears were in his eyes now.

Molly sighed. She stood up and walked around the table.

“Stand up,” he looked at her in disbelief, “Come on, up you get.”

He stood up and she drew him into a hug,

“Listen to me. I know you did what you thought was best, but I think it’s time you go and straighten this all out. Just because there is a chance of something happening it doesn’t mean it will necessarily happen. We are always, always stronger when we are together. And at least you will be able to protect her then. Just, tell me you’ll think about it?”

He pulled out of her embrace and slowly nodded. Her eyes were sad as she looked up at him.

“Now, I think you should go and talk to your brother. Despite what you may have been thinking, he is not actually mad, he’s just having a hard time of it, just like you. Go talk to him.”

“Yes Mum.” He gave her a quick hug once more. “Thank you”

“No problem, dear. Go on, up you go.” She shooed him out of the kitchen.

Fred climbed up to the landing where their shared room was.

“George?” he knocked on the door. After hearing George’s admittance, he twisted the doorknob and walked into the room.

“Look mate, I’m sorry I…” Fred trailed off as he took in the large translucent Patronus that was in his and George’s room. “When did this….?”

“Just now.” George was stunned.

The Unicorn’s mouth opened, and Y/n’s voice rang out,

“George, I have been, or will soon be, caught by snatchers.”

Fred’s pulse began to quicken as fear gripped him like a vice. “Oh my god.”

He could hear her breathing quickly, the fear in her voice shook him to the core.

“They are going to use me to get to Fred and Harry. They still think we’re together and they’re coming for you at the burrow. Get Fred out of there and don’t tell them anything! Protect Harry at all costs, he’s the only one who can get us out of this.”

George looked from the Patronus to Fred, his expression shocked.

They turned their attention back to the Patronus as Y/n’s voice cracked. Fred could tell she was crying.

“Please be careful. Tell Fred I…” The Unicorn opened its mouth and let out Y/n’s piercing scream before fading away into nothingness.

The desk chair flipped over as George stood up out of it so quickly.

Their voices rang out in unison, “We need to go.”

The twins ran out down the flight of stairs. Fred’s heart was in his throat. I shouldn’t have sent her away

Molly began to shout from the floor below “Boys! For Merlin’s sake what are you…” She stopped as the two bounded into the kitchen.

Fred spoke out, “Y/n is in trouble, she’s been caught by snatchers. We need to go.”

Molly’s eyes flickered between the twins, searching for answers, “What do you mean she’s been caught by snatchers?”

“I just got a Patronus from her. They are taking her to get information on Harry.” George answered his mother, “They’re coming for Fred. We need to go and save her, and we need you to cover for us.” He gestured between Molly and Arthur who had just walked into the kitchen.

Arthur looked at his wife. “If Y/n was taken by snatchers they would have gone to Malfoy Manor. That’s a base of operations for them.”

Molly tried to interject, “Arthur we can’t-“

“Molly, the boys are right, they will suspect them coming if all of us are gone. We can track how they are doing with the clock.” Arthur gestured to the tall grandfather clock that was sitting in the living room, “If they get in trouble, then we apparate in and get them out quickly.”

Molly was still not convinced.

“But..”

Fred slammed his fist down on the table. “The longer we wait the more time they have to do something to her.” He looked at George, “We are going now. Tell Bill to be ready to come and back us up. Either George or I will send a Patronus if things start to get bad. George, let’s go.”

The twins stood back ready to apparate when Mr. Weasley stopped them.

“Get in and out quickly, don’t let them see you. Sneak in from the back and stick together. If anything at all goes wrong, you send word immediately; Understand?”

The twins nodded solemnly. They stepped back from the table, nodded to each other, and apparated out of the Burrow.

Arthur took Molly into his arms. He murmured into her hair, “They’ll be fine. I’ll call around for back-up. Just keep an eye on the clock.”

Molly nodded and once Arthur left the room, picked up her knitting and went and sat in the lounge directly opposite the clock. It was going to be a long night.

_____________________________________________________________

The cold lights burned harshly at Y/n’s eyes as she was transported into Malfoy Manor. Rookwood, who had kept his grip tight on the ropes binding her hands, threw her down onto the cold marble floor, walking away with her wand still tight in his grasp.

Y/n landed poorly, and pain seared through her side and shoulder. She tried to move back to her feet, but the ropes only grew tighter. She tried to slow down her breathing, don’t panic that won’t get you anywhere. Just keep breathing, nice and slow.

A sharp, cool voice echoed around the marbled hall, “What is the meaning of all this commotion? Who is the girl?”

From Y/n’s spot on the floor, she saw the figure of Lucius Malfoy walk through to the snatchers.

“This girl’s the key to findin’ Pottah! She’s one of the Weasley twins’ girlfriends. He’ll have to give us the whereabouts of Pottah when he sees how bad we’ve bloodied her up.” Scabior replied gleefully, seeming to take great joy in the pain she was about to be afflicted with.

Lucius took interest immediately, “Sounds like you might have actually done something correctly for once. I’m assuming she’s not pureblood, and that no one is coming to help her? I trust I won’t have an invasion on my hands Scabior, because if I do I will be most displeased. ”

“No, she’s got no connections, we should be…”

While this exchange was occurring Y/n had managed to relax enough to let the ropes around her mouth fall down onto her chin. She had to make an attempt to keep them away from Fred.

“He won’t talk, you know. We broke up. Months ago. He would never betray Harry, especially not for me. Bad luck guys, you’ve got the wrong girl.” Y/n stated this with a false sense of bravado.

“Ha! Listen to ‘er.” Rookwood crouched down and lifted her chin higher. His foul breath wafted into her face as she tried to squirm away. The ropes around her got tighter and were becoming very uncomfortable now.

“Even if I believed you - which I don’t- I still know you’ve known those identical weasels for years. They don’t have it in ‘em to let ya die. Won’t stop me though. And I might get to have a bit of fun while I do it” His grip became tight on her jaw.

“Rookwood,” Lucius summoned Rookwood back to their conversation, “You can play with your new toy later.” He addressed Scabior and the other snatcher, “Go to that pigsty they call a house and tell them we have the girl. Bring this..” He stalked over to one of the side tables and picked up one of two silver two-way mirrors, “That way you can show that you actually have her.”

“Who made you-“

Lucius made an impatient sound, “If you have a better plan then by all means go ahead, but as it is my house and this is the only way of not having to transport her, or one of them here, I suggest you do as I say.”

Scabior opened his mouth to speak, and obviously thinking better of it, shut it again and nodded mutely.

“Very well. Get going then.” Lucius waved Scabior and the nameless snatcher off, and in a blink of an eye, they were gone.

Rookwood remained, uncomfortably close to Y/n. Lucius turned to him, “I do believe it would speed negotiations along if you damaged her a little before they see her.” Rookwood’s eyes shone in glee. “Don’t make too much of a mess. I’ll be back soon to check on your progress.” He turned on his heel and once checking that the second mirror was placed carefully on the mantlepiece, walked out of the hall.

Y/n’s unkempt hair and dirt-covered clothes were easily visible in the mirror. They had put her right on display for one of the most sickening exhibitions in the world. Her reflection was gone as Rookwood stalked over to her, a shining silver knife in his grasp.

It was becoming very difficult not to panic now.

“You see, pretty, Cruciatus curse really won’t do the trick for what we’re tryin’ to achieve here.” He knelt down on the floor, “We gotta make you look the part. Now, anytime you want ta’ tell me something about mister Potter you can go right ahead, and we can stop this unpleasantness. I won’t lie and say I’ll be relieved to stop carvin’, but it’ll definitely be a lot easier for you.”

“You’ll never get anything out of me.” Y/n spat in his face.

He grinned, seemingly not to be angered by the act of disrespect, “Excellent”

Rookwood gently bought the knife down and sliced under her collar bone. Y/n writhed in pain, tears streaming as she started to scream.

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #george weasley #weasley twins #fred weasley reader insert #fred weasley fic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfiction #harry potter #whump fic #x reader #angst

76 notes · View notes

tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Black Magic" *Part 6*

Part 5

Part 7

Okay so this one's a bit shorter, but like I said I want to try and keep it a "day" a chapter. Also, I don't think you want this day to be ANY longer.

....I'm so sorry.

Also also---- I'm going out now. I'M SO SORRY.

I'll post another chapter tonight....be strong my babies!

Side note how perfect is the gif with the angry barba and the smirking Olivia....I mean.... what?

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@word-scribbless

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@lolliepopsicle

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@stars-trash-18

-------

You arrived at the door of Rafael's office early once again, knocking this time. You looked like a million bucks. You had taken at least an hour to get ready, your outfit, your hair, your makeup. You were ready to make a move. You knocked again. There was no answer. He should be there, maybe he didn’t hear you. You knocked a little louder. Where could he be? You decided to take a peek and peer open his door to see the most horrifying sight:

Rafael and Olivia, making out on his desk. They both snapped back when they heard the door open.

“Y/N!!” He yelled angrily. “Don't you knock?”

“Oh.. oh my God I'm so sorry sir I'm really sorry. I just brought your morning coffee sir,” You were upset, embarrassed , confused , distraught unable to speak, unable to think.

“Well you should learn not to peep on other people Y/N,” Olivia gave you an evil smirk. “I should get going anyway baby,” she rubbed the lipstick off Rafael's lips. “I have a long day.”

“Oh but I'll miss you carino,” Rafael whined while rubbing his nose against hers in a disgusting fashion.

“I know baby, but maybe we'll have lunch?” She messed with his collar.

“You can count on it,” Rafael growled seductively, smacking her butt as she walked towards the door. “Two can play at your game,” she whispered at you as she walked out

Oh my god. Oh my God oh my god!! How did she know? How was it possible? So many things went through your head at that moment.

“I um, I left something at my desk,” You lied quickly as you headed out the door.

“Olivia!” You called after her angrily suddenly overwhelmed with courage. She stopped and turned and stared at you

“Really? Got some balls on you now do you?”

“What did you do?” You demanded.

“I didn't do anything to him.” She acted innocent. “He just realized that his feelings for me were there all along,” she batted her eyes mockingly. “Isn't that what you did?”

“It's not real!” You barked. “You know it's not real. It'll wear off by tomorrow,”

“Oh I really don't think it will” She held up a water bottle in her purse and it was filled with a….purple liquid? Yep it was purple. Why was it purple? Did she make it stronger? Oh God how strong did she make it?

“Olivia you can't do this to him. I stopped and realized if it wasn't real, I didn't want it.”

“Oh that's bullshit.” She rolled her eyes. “You just brought him his morning coffee. You and I both know that it has that stuff in it. You just needed to refill him but I got there first.”

“No that's not true! You yelled, tears stinging your eyes now. “And he loves me. I know he does.”

“Oh my God you are delusional,” she laughed.” Look I'm happy you had a fun day yesterday but you’re out of your league here, sweetie. He's mine and he always will be? Got it?” She smirked again, then turned and stomped away in her heels leaving you there speechless.

----

You were furious, you were confused, you were upset and then you realized that you had to still continue this day as if nothing was different. Nothing was wrong. You wondered how strong Olivia's stuff was. You wondered what the rules were. Did it block out his feelings for you completely and only focus on her? Did it wipe any memory of you and him at all? Could you break it? You had so many questions you needed to call Chloe but you know you couldn't until your break so you sucked it up and walked back into Rafael's office.

“I'm really sorry about that so earlier,” You did your best to keep from crying. He looked at you with an almost look of disdain.

“Yeah well you really need to be more professional, Y/N.” He scoffed.

"Now you really need to get me copies of these prepositions by noon so that I can go to lunch with my beloved and then go to court.”

“Your beloved?” You spat unintentionally, wanting to gag.

“Excuse you?” He gave you an angry look.

"Look I know that you have some kind of crazy crush on me, but you need to learn that what me and my girlfriend have is something you can't get between so you really need to either control yourself or I will relieve you of your services.” He glared at you.

You couldn't breathe, you felt your heart beating in your chest and your ears. Your palms were sweating, you were having a panic attack. What the hell did she put in her concoction? How did she make him turn so harshly against you?

“I... Yes sir, sorry sir, right away sir,” You whispered grabbing the papers from him running out of the office.

Finally after you got Rafael his copies and he stormed out of his office to go meet his “beloved”, you took the break to call Chloe in tears.

-----

“Oh My God, what happened honey?” She asked, immediately hearing your sobs over the phone.

“She did it,” You sobbed.

“Who did what now?”

“She found the spell! Or some spell. I don't know what she did. I don't know how she could have-- I don't know what she did!!!” You kept sobbing uncontrollably not being able to form coherent thoughts.

“Okay, I'm going to need you to slow down,” Chloe said in a calming manner. “Breathe honey. Use your words. Now explain to me exactly what happened,”

You took several deep breaths trying to compose yourself so that you could explain what was happening to her.

“I went into Rafael's office this morning, and he was making out with that vile woman,” You sniffled.

“What vile woman?”

“Olivia, his ‘beloved’,” you rolled your eyes through your tears.

“His beloved?”

“It's some woman that he works with, and apparently has been in love with him forever. She somehow, I don't know how, figured out what we did to him and she somehow found her own spell. Which I'm pretty sure is not the same one, because it was a purple liquid. AND she not only created feelings for her, she made him hate me!!” You continued to sob.

“...Oh,” Was all Chloe could say.

“OH…?!” You scoffed. “I thought you said that magic laws frowned upon spells like that, controlling people's free will!”

“It does! Good magic anyway,” She sighed.

“What the hell does that mean?” You yelled angrily.

“Well I mean you know there's good witches and bad witches,”

“Oh my God, what in the Wizard Of Oz fuckery--”

“I don't know what to tell you honey. That's how it is. There's good magic and there's black magic. Black magic is all selfish and self-indulgent and instant gratification. She must have gone to somebody who deals in that,”

“Who could it be?”

“I don't know! It's not like they're listed in the yellow pages! WAIT-- Oh my God I think I might have an idea,” Chloe suddenly paused. “...But you're not going to believe me,”

“Oh my God what does that mean?” you asked wearily.

“Well.. you've seen all the movies right? You know like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White,”

“Oh God. Are you seriously going to tell me that true love's kiss can break the spell?”

“Well.. you really don't have any other options right now, do you?”

“CHLOE those are Disney movies for fuck’s sake!!”

“Hey, remember Once Upon A Time? THAT was the ‘real world’, and true love’s kiss brought magic to our world!” Chloe pointed out.

“THAT’S A TV SHOW!!!!!”

“I don't know what else you want me to say here babe. But you should do it. Unless you want to lose him forever to this “Olivia” person. You said that she had a lot of it, right? She could keep this up for as long as she wants. AND the more she gives him the stronger it's going to be and the harder it is going to be to break. I mean he might end up really hating you and firing you, and then your whole life will be ruined. You not only need to break this spell for you to be happy, but before it impacts your entire life,” Chloe warned.

“Oh my God, oh my god…” You whimpered. “I should have never done this.”

“Hey chin up this will work out I'm sure of it!” She said in a chipper tone.

“Okay Jiminy,” You rolled your eyes as you hung up and went back to your office. You did your best to continue with the rest of the day, trying to stay out of Rafael’s way. Which wasn't hard, considering that he was in court most of the day. Around four he texted you and told you that he was no longer in need of your services for the day so you could go home early. Oh also he just HAD to add that he was going to go out with Liv. You wanted to vomit. You headed home and went to brainstorm with Chloe.

-----

“Okay so I've been researching black magic. Chloe had papers sprawled out all over her bed when you came home. “She must have used a combination of love and hate spells.”

“Wait, so you mean actual love spells? Like actually creating fictitious love? Not just magnifying what he felt for her?”

“Correct” she nodded. “I don't think he ever had real feelings for her.”

“Well he said that she and him had a thing, and that he thought about her like that when they first met. So maybe it was going off of that,” You shrugged sadly.

“Another thing we need to figure out is how to get the rest of the potion from her somehow,”

“And just HOW do you expect me to do that?!”

“I don’t...I don’t know,” She shrugged, sifting through her research.

“Chloe, give me something you DO know,” You rubbed your temples; this was giving you a migraine.

“Okay… well, maybe if I talk to my other friends they can figure out a way to counteract the effects even just a little, if you're not willing to or unable to get true love's kiss,”

“Oh God--”

“Hey, I'm just saying”

“Whatever.” You sighed. “My head hurts, my heart hurts, everywhere hurts Chloe,” You whined. “I just want this to be over,”

“Okay honey just-- just go get some sleep, I’ll figure out a game plan for you to use tomorrow,”

“Okay...thank you,” You gave her a small hug and went to your room.

You went to bed with a deep feeling of dread.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #black magic

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littleoddwriter · 3 years

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buzzfeed unsolved but its zsaszmask

Unsolved | Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz | ZsaszMask AU

Fellow wheezers, who happen to ship ZsaszMask, this is for you!

Thanks for the request!!!

Also, in case anyone might be confused, let me explain why I chose their roles the way I did.

So, in m BFU ZsaszMask AU, Roman is Shane (sceptic) and Victor is Ryan (believer). I did that because frankly, Roman has no respect for anything or anyone, especially not dead things, so I feel as though he'd take on more of a sceptical role in terms of paranormal things, whereas Victor would be more inclined to believe in these things, since he's already quite superstitious, etc. So, that was really all the thought behind the roles. Still, Victor doesn't react as heavily as Ryan truly does because that would just be hella out of character, I think.

I hope you enjoy it!

summary; Just a Buzzfeed Unsolved AU of ZsaszMask. It focuses more on the Supernatural Seasons (after establishing it all) because I thought that'd be more interesting.

notes; nothing notable, other than Domestic Fluff and Kisses, I guess.

Despite committing murders on their own, Roman and Victor were quite intrigued by true murder cases, as well; especially those that have never been solved. They fascinated them. Sometimes they drew inspiration from them for their next victims, always open to try out new things, most notably if it was supposed to send a message. Sometimes they’d just make fun of them, though. It was one of their favourite pastimes, really.

Eventually, on his research, Roman stumbled across this whole niche of true crime fanatics. People discussed these things online, either on blogs or even YouTube videos. It got them a hell of a lot of attention – and money, too.

With that in mind, Sionis proposed the idea of opening their own YouTube channel with videos like those he’s seen to Zsasz, who wasn’t exactly enthused, but he didn’t care.

Think about the publicity and the money, Victor, he’d said which made his partner shrug and agree that – sure, if that’s what Roman wanted, he wasn’t the one to deny him.

After a short while of making these unsolved true crime videos, they gained a lot of online popularity. It delighted Roman! Sometimes, he’d even sit down to read the comments, and gave into what caught his attention after reading the same suggestion one too many times.

Apparently, people wanted them to lean more into the supernatural side of things, explore cases that could only be explained by the seemingly unreal and paranormal; ghosts, demons, aliens – that kind of bullshit. Roman didn’t believe in any of this crap, but more publicity meant more money, and that promise made Roman happy enough to subject himself to these things.

Although, he had to admit that Victor’s reaction to it surprised him a little.

“No! We shouldn’t,” shot right out of him the moment Roman had said they’d cover such cases in the very near future.

“Why? Don’t tell me you actually believe this shit.”

“Well- not really, but I also don’t wanna test it,” Victor started stumbling over his own words then to try and come up with a weak excuse.

Huh. Roman had never taken him for someone like that, but he saw it in a positive light, since it only guaranteed to make this whole thing a lot more fun.

Apparently it wasn’t just fun, but those videos gained even more views – quickly. Upon reading the comments, even more people now thought they were a couple (such comments have already started beforehand) – and they were, but the public needn’t find out about that. It’d only put them in danger among their rivals in Gotham’s underbelly, so they didn’t announce anything and have consciously tried to stay as neutral as possible on screen. They had to cut out some kisses they shared here and there in their videos’ post-production, though. Sometimes they just couldn’t help themselves.

Still, the supernatural type of videos seemed to make their chemistry pop, which didn’t necessarily surprise Roman, since they actually travelled to the places they’d talk about and investigate them, hands-on, looking for evidence of paranormal beings and activities. So it was only to be expected that they’d sometimes forget they were being filmed at all and therefore just acted like themselves in these situations.

Roman naturally took on the role of a sceptic, as he didn’t believe in any of it, nor did he have any respect for these supposed ghosts whatsoever. Victor on the other hand – well, he tried to act as though he didn’t truly believe; but once they visited the infamous Sallie House and upon the flash-lights mysteriously having turned on and off on their commands to the alleged demon, Zsasz couldn’t hide his… apprehension, any longer.

It amused Roman greatly as he just laughed at Victor’s reaction, which was subtle enough – he jumped and had wide eyes, but otherwise didn’t react – but to Roman it was as if he had jumped up and shrieked, considering that Zsasz usually didn’t show any fear at all.

People ate that shit up, though. They revelled in either reaction, thinking the contrast was perfect and made watching the video less scary, and far more enjoyable. Roman was loved for his taunting, his blatant disrespect and the way he coaxed Victor into unintentionally communicating with the demon as well. Zsasz was also praised for making others laugh by being rather afraid, despite his tough exterior, and some even sympathised with him.

Additionally – and unfortunately a part they had filmed, but couldn’t leave in the video – Victor had been still a little mad at Roman for daring to talk to the supposed demon and roping him into it, despite having been told not to, when they had been on their way home the next day – after having spent the night at the house.

He was sitting in the car, on the front passenger seat, his arms were crossed and he was pouting. Cute, really. He just adored his little lapdog.

“Aw, baby, don’t pout. Nothing happened, we’re both still alive. That demon was nothing but a fake fuck anyway,” Roman cooed, grinning at Victor from the backseat he sat in.

Zsasz turned his head and glared at him, “Don’t test it. I told you! It’s dangerous. Could’ve killed you for all we know.”

“But it didn’t. Now quit being scared, or whatever. It just stopped being cute.”

Victor rolled his eyes and turned his head back to look out of the window. “I’m only looking out for you,” he had muttered, which Roman only caught when they cut the video.

Upon finding that out, he made it up to his partner with a bird for him to free and a good time in bed afterwards.

After a couple of years of making these videos, they had gained quite the cult following. And despite having only been in for the publicity and money at first, Roman found himself genuinely enjoying making these videos. Victor, too, he knew. Frankly, they both just loved being able to spend time with each other in the way they had before anyway, only to be paid for it as well.

Some of the most amusing things to both of them, though, were all the fan theories and speculations about them that their audience came up with at times.

Supposedly, Roman himself was a demon, which would explain why all his disrespect hasn’t killed him yet (obviously that wasn’t the case, but he revelled in it nonetheless). Others speculated about their relationship, and some even talked about Victor’s scars, wondering where they came from and why there seemed to be more every other video. They never addressed any of these things, of course, only amusing themselves with it during a late night.

One time, they spent the night at an allegedly haunted place again –The Dauphine Orleans Hotel – even sharing a bed this time. Their viewers were sure to latch onto that, Roman smiled to himself. They left the camera on during the night, in case they would catch any ‘evidence’ of paranormal activities, while they slept. Sionis only thought about how much footage they’d have to cut out in the end.

At first, they just lied next to each other, cracking jokes and talking nonsense, until Roman has had enough of that at least.

“Are we doing more of this, or can I use the Jacuzzi hot tub that we’ve been blessed with?”

“Are you serious?” Victor asked, looking at him incredulously.

Roman just looked back at him, “Are we going to spend the night here and not use that?”

For the video’s sake, they put swimming trunks on that they’ve brought with them. They filled the tub with water and sat in it. Roman went to turn on the jets, but had to find that they unfortunately didn’t work.

“The jets don’t work,” Victor explained for the camera, after they had agreed to keep filming it anyway, thinking it might be funny to put it in the video to lighten up the mood some more.

They both laughed, the entire situation was just so ridiculous to them.

“We’re just two guys sitting in a tub,” Zsasz continued, chuckling, while Roman just kept laughing.

Later, they were lying in the bed; Roman had his arms around Victor, wanting to sleep. His partner seemed calm to the camera – even though they’d have to cut this out anyway – and anyone’s naked eye, but fuck, he could feel Zsasz’s rapid heartbeat.

“Calm down, baby. Nothing’s going to happen, I promise,” Roman murmured against Victor’s shoulder, pecking it.

“I don’t know, boss. I just feel like something’s off.”

“That’s only because you actually believe in this crap and think every noise is a ghost, or demon, or fuck knows what else. I can assure you, though. The only real threat is I if you don’t calm down and go the fuck to sleep soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah, alright.”

“Good boy,” Roman cooed and nudged Victor to turn around in his arms, so he could capture his lips in a gentle, yet searing kiss.

“Still,” Sionis then said, curiosity having finally killed the cat after all these years, “You’re usually not… like that. Are you just acting it up for the camera, or? Because you really don’t need to. I had thought you weren’t afraid of anything, no matter what.”

“Just of losing you,” Victor mumbled, barely audible at all, but with how quiet the room’s been Roman caught it anyway.

“Is that all of it has been about?”

“I guess, I don’t know. I just know that the way you keep daring these creatures makes me fucking paranoid that something’s gonna come after you and kill you and I wouldn’t be able to protect you.”

Roman clicked his tongue and cooed, “Aw, Victor. Fuck, I didn’t know you could be so sentimental! Disgusting.” He grinned. “I’m not going anywhere any time soon, ‘kay? Who else is going to be King of Gotham in a few years then?”

Stroking his fingers over Roman’s cheek, Victor chuckled, “Yeah, okay. You’re right. I guess it all just kinda crossed my wires or some shit.”

They kissed again, lazy, tired and gentle. It was so intimate that for a moment, both of them forgot everything around them, forgot why and where they had been in that moment, since none of it mattered.

Looking back on that footage, they were forced to cut it all out, but they kept it safe, never wanting to forget about it entirely. It may have been one of their most genuine and intimate moments of their shared lives that hadn’t involved a dead body and Roman loved it.

#roman sionis #victor zsasz #zsaszmask #roman sionis fanfiction #victor zsasz fanfiction #zsaszmask fanfic #buzzfeed unsolved au #zsaszmask au #birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #harley quinn birds of prey #mlm ship #mlm fiction #mlm fanfic #requests

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ijustwant2write · 4 years

Text

An Unforeseen Future-Hvitserk Ragnarsson x Reader (Part 6/?)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Masterlist

Prompts List

Tags: @littlemessyjessi @hains-j @cliffdidanelvis @satsuma-livewasp-nightmares @miss-artemis-wild @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @millie67 @absolutelynoregretsonlychoices @the-loud-and-crazy-rabbit-pirate @mysticalfairytales @snowblazeblack @darkwolfpeanutskeleton @thatchampagnebitch @thiahilmarsdottir @mzliterarydreamer @newlifeforus@x-valhalla @jazzycasino @blonddnamedhandz @enchantedbones @severewobblerlightdragon @sad-letter @pieces-by-me @squids-for-knees

Summary: (Y/N) is stuck as Hvitserk stalks after Bo, and she is sure that he is intent on killing him. It seems that there is no possible way out, there is nothing that she can do to save him.

Characters: Hvitserk Ragnarsson x Reader, Harald Finehair x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Mention of blood, killing, death, false imprisonment, swearing, drugging, manipulation, threats

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hvitserk!” I screeched, hurting my throat as I continued screaming at the top of my lungs.

My wrists were red raw from struggling against the rope, and I felt like I had pulled the muscles in my shoulders after thrashing around so much. With nothing near me to cut the ropes, I was truly trapped, with no way of getting to Bo. Even if I stepped foot outside, Hvitserk surely had his guards on strict orders to lock me up again. I had never seen Bo fight, I had no idea how good he was; even if he won against Hvitserk, his men would go straight after Bo for killing the prince.

I heard the front door open, but it couldn't be Hvitserk and Ivar, they wouldn't be back so soon. Falling silent, I heard footsteps approaching, tensing up when a guard entered the room.

"Stop screeching. You're pissing us all off." he snapped.

"Go retrieve Prince Hvitserk, he's about to do something incredibly stupid!" I urged.

"Like I would listen to you."

"I-I'm still the princess!"

“Oh, so now you want to class yourself as royalty? Well, your highness, would you please shut up?” He mockingly bowed.

I groaned.“Why can’t you see that Hvitserk is about to kill an innocent man because he is jealous? It’s ridiculous!”

“Many men kill each other to keep their women.”

“He’s not keeping me.”

“You seem to be kept here.” he gestured to the rope.

Looking up at my hands, I had an idea.“Look, I’ll shut up if you untie the ropes. Please, I’m not going after him.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“No, because I’ll never make it past any of you. Have you seen my wrists? The skin is cut, I’m bleeding. I just don’t want to be in pain anymore.”

He stepped closer, looking sympathetic as he glanced at my wrists (where blood was trickling down my arm). Now stood beside me, he leaned down, looking as if he was reaching for his sword. Yes, he was foolish just as I had planned, the idiot was going to let me go!

“If you stop moving about, it wouldn’t hurt so much.” he smirked.

I frowned at him.“Fuck you.”

The man said nothing as he left, but from the way he walked, I could see that he was pleased with himself. Slamming the front door shut to make a statement, I felt a horrible overwhelming feeling build up, a lump form in my throat before I started crying. My shoulders ached as they shook, tears running down my neck as I couldn’t wipe them away. Bo was going to die, I couldn’t do anything to help him. I was useless!

Hours had passed since Hvitserk left, and the exhaustion from crying, struggling against my binds and fighting with Hvitserk had made me fall asleep. No sweet dreams visited me. I was sluggish as I woke, hating the painful feeling in my arms; however, the sight before me was what I truly loathed at that moment. Hvitserk was sat on the edge of the bed, hand on my thigh as he quietly called my name, he was the one to wake me.

“(Y/N), (Y/N), wake up.”

I jerked away from him, wincing as I unintentionally moved my arms.

“Try not to move, you’re going to be sore.”

“Please Hvitserk, I am in so much pain.” I cried again, my throat hoarse.

“Sh, here,” he reached over for a cup on a small table beside us, bringing it to my lips,“you must be thirsty.”

Moving my head away from him, I kept my lips closed, not wanting to take anything from him, despite desperately needing a drink. He had a smile on his face, even as he grabbed my cheeks with one hand.

“Come now darling, you must be parched. I just want to look after you.”

Having had enough of me, he pinched my nose blocking off any air to my lungs. Trying hard not to gasp, my eyes watered as I held on, though I knew I would have to take a gulp of air at some point, and so did he. With my lungs hurting, I attempted to subtly take in a breath of air, but of course that didn’t work. I choked and coughed as he poured the drink down my throat, spitting some out.

“What did you give me?”

“It’s alright, it’ll help you.” he stood, leaning over me as he began untying the rope. His hands were stained red, making my eyes widen.

“Y-you’ve killed him...you killed Bo!” I snapped.

“Hush now, you’ll lose your voice.”

As the ropes loosened, my arms slowly fell down, the muscles stiff from being in the same position for hours. Despite the pain, I attempted to lunge for him, but somehow I wasn’t in control of my limbs, making me fall off the bed. Hvitserk chuckled as he caught me, lying me down on his lap, cradling my head.

“What...” my words were slurring.“What did you give me? Hvit...Hvitserk...help.”

“It’s to help you sleep. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”

I wanted to ask about tomorrow, but could only moan, words unable to form. Although my mind was screaming at me to fight, my body had shut down. He drugged me, he had a plan for me that he needed me to be asleep for, and I was petrified what was going to happen. As my body shut down again, eyelids heavily closing, I felt him stroke back my hair, flashes of his red hands being the last thing I saw.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“She’s waking up.”

The sentence was muffled, I couldn’t figure out who it was. My eyelids struggled to open, I rubbed my eyes, ignoring the ache in my muscles. With my vision still blurry, I went to speak, but my throat was too dry. Swallowing thickly, I cleared my throat, finally able to make out my surroundings. Two thralls stood at the end of the bed I was lying on. We weren’t in the cabin given to us when I first arrived, this one was different, more grand.

“Where am I?” I mumbled, trying to sit up when I felt a tightness in my chest. Glancing down, I realised I was in a dress.

“Please do not rush princess, you need to take things slow.” one of them said, hesitantly approaching me.

"Why am I in a dress? Who put me in a dress?"

"We did, we were ordered to by Prince Hvitserk."

My eyes widened."Why?"

They glanced at each other."F-for the feast."

"What feast? I'm sick of asking questions!" I winced, my head hurting as I raised my voice.

"The raid is set to take place in a few days. And it's also a celebration of your reunion with Hvitserk, everyone was worried about you."

I sneered at them, they understood they needed to elaborate.

"Prince Hvitserk set out to rescue you, after your kidnapping."

I groaned, rolling my eyes at the story. Of course he was telling lies, he had to make up a story to make him look like the hero. I was in a deep blue dress which had embellishment around the off shoulder neckline; it also had long sleeves, he knew he had to cover up my cuts.

"You're currently in King Harald's home, his room. The feast will take place here too."

I sighed."And when is this feast?"

"Tonight."

The thralls helped me to my feet, testing out whether I could walk by myself. I was slow, and I felt like I had been through a whole day and night of training. Dismissing them, I looked at myself in the mirror, wishing that I wasn't wearing such a beautiful gown to a miserable event. Thinking about who would be there at the feast, I remembered what I saw before I passed out; Hvitserk's bloodstained hands. Bo wasn't here, not any more. I couldn't fathom the idea of him being dead. Staring at myself in the mirror, I didn't see myself, this was the (Y/N) Hvitserk wanted. The good, little princess of his, his obeying wife.

"Oh, you look beautiful (Y/N)." I heard Harald's voice as he entered the room.

I frowned at him."I can't go in there."

"Come (Y/N), you will have a great time. There are old friends of yours in there, people who can't wait to see you raid-"

"I don't want to fucking raid!" my voice cracked."I don't want to be here Harald. I'm a prisoner."

"Things will get better (Y/N). If you go along with it, it will be as if nothing changed."

"And that's the problem. I can't act like everything is alright. He's killed my friend Harald! He's killed him for no other reason than jealousy! I would have gone along with his fairytale if that meant he would leave Bo alone, but he wouldn't listen. How can you stand back and watch as I, your friend, suffer through all of this? You know he's in the wrong!"

"Take a deep breath (Y/N)," he took a step towards me, reaching out to comfort me but I flinched away. As I did that, he furrowed his brow at me,"what is wrong with your wrists?"

I scoffed."You sound shocked. If you didn't know, I was tied up all night, then drugged and dragged here. And I was also dressed in this whilst unconscious, then told I was apparently kidnapped and that there was a feast being held partly for me tonight. This seems to be my life now."

"I...I do not know what to say."

"Then you are as speechless as I am." the sound of Hvitserk's voice made my skin crawl.

"Hvitserk, you should not sneak around like that." Harald let out a breathy laugh.

"Why? Are you two up to something?" Hvitserk was half joking, but tension rose in the room. Hvitserk looked me up and down, happily sighing,"You always look gorgeous in that colour."

I turned away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed again.

"I'm sure you must be starving. Your favourite foods are out there waiting for you, and the people will arrive soon. Let us celebrate your return." he held his hand out as if I would leap up and take it.

"Hvitserk, perhaps we should let her rest a while longer. I'm sure people will understand that." Harald tried to help me.

"Harald, would you please leave me and my wife? This should be between us."

My pleading eyes didn't work on Harald. He looked guilty as he left, but I heard him happily greeting people as they entered the hall, the noise level rising with the chatter. I was stuck again.

"Why don't you want to see our friends?" Hvitserk quietly asked, sitting beside me. He rested an arm behind me, and I knew he was itching to wrap it around me.

"My friends would see right through this act, so you didn't invite them. Your friends shall be there, as will all your followers."

"I chose this dress for you. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one."

"You knew it was the one to cover up my wounds."

"How are they?" he reached down for my wrists, smiling to himself,"I know what will make them better."

He was about to tenderly kiss them, but I shot up, tearing my hands away; we used to do that all the time for each other's scars (he had much more since I never raided again), it was a beautiful moment between us. A sign that we would always be there to look after each other, as if a kiss would heal all wounds. However, I suddenly went very dizzy, and Hvitserk was there to catch me again.

"Woah, be careful (Y/N)." it was disgusting how tight his arms were around my waist."Let's get you sat down and get some food in you. We shouldn't keep them waiting."

The way he now held my hand wasn't comforting. I knew that if I let go or refused to hold his hand, something else might happen to me. Now was not the time to cause a scene. Hvitserk wanted to put on a show for everyone, he wanted everyone to see how perfect things were now. His smile grew bigger as we made our way to the hall, the music and chatter getting louder. Cheers rang out as we appeared, Hvitserk waving an arm out as we went to take our seats. I managed to look somewhat content.

"Here they are, your prince and princess!" Harald had the audacity to announce, avoiding eye contact with me."Finally, two lovers reunited. This is the kind of uplifting and encouraging story we needed to give ourselves a boost of motivation for this raid! Everything is back to normal, and soon, we shall have even more riches to shower ourselves in! For tonight, we feast!"

The roar from the crowd was extremely loud, hurting my ears. I made sure to look happy, taking a cup with some form of alcohol in one hand as Hvitserk kept grip of the other. I flinched as he squeezed it, pulling me closer to him so that he could whisper in my ear.

"Do not ruin tonight." he warned, looking out into the crowd. No one was watching.

"You're going to tie me up again?" I snarled back.

"No. I know who else was on that ship with you. They can easily be tracked down, just as Bo was."

I pulled away from him, pushing the petrified feeling deep down inside me and remaining calm. Leaning back in my chair, I let out a shaky breath, scanning the room for any of the crew. None of them were here, and I could believe that Hvitserk had guards waiting for orders tonight.

How the fuck was I supposed to get out of this? Hvitserk had all the power. The only people that could help me were under threat if I made a bad move. I was literally trapped, I had no freedom to even think of a way to escape. Bo was dead, and if I didn't tread lightly, I would have more blood on my hands. It seemed that the only way out was me with no life left inside, and that wasn't an option in my eyes. This would be a waiting game, a long one, but I had to bide my time; because I would overcome this, I had to overcome this.

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mochiyoonfi · 3 years

Text

Our Utopia

Synopsis: Y/n is an Idol Trainee under the same company as her big brother- Kim Namjoon. But there’s more to her than her angelic voice.

Universe: idol!bts, idol!reader, reader is Namjoon's sister.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of drug abuse/addiction, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, abuse, sexual assault, violence.

A/N: This is a request! Requested by @deereadeer Sorry this took so long!

~ (reader discretion is recommended) ~

Betraying the darkest parts of your heart to strangers was definitely something you wouldn’t recommend. Heart in your throat, you looked across at the judges. The founder of the company had his eyebrow raised, as if asking if you were going to do anything.

Taking a deep breath, you summoned every ounce of your courage and opened your mouth.

As you begin to sing, you feel everyone’s eyes fixed on you. You don’t pay attention to that, only to the thumping feeling of your racing heart.

You close your eyes, putting all the emotion you can manage without breaking down, into your voice.

Suddenly the room around you faded, you saw your darkest fears, the ones you could never talk to someone about. Your worst memories.

Walking through the lush park that you could no longer stomach to see, the gentle air playing with locks of your hair. The three men, strangers to you, who now haunted your nightmares regardless, had come out of nowhere, the darkness around them betraying the darkness of their hearts. And when it was over, they slunk back to nowhere.

You had only been two blocks away from your house.

You were almost home.

But you weren’t.

The frightful attack was just the start of your mentally declining slope. Drugs, alcohol. They became your only comforts. The only thing helping you cope. The shame surrounding your use of them was apparent to only you. No one else knew of your pain. Not even your best friends.

The real saving light to your turmoil came, maybe not when you desperately wanted it to, but it came nonetheless.

Your parents.

Of course you knew that your trusting, caring parents would have never imagined the spiral you had fallen into.

But they tried their best to comfort you regardless. You saw the shame in their eyes though, they couldn’t hide that. Their shame didn’t change the fact they loved you.

You knew that they loved you.

So when they told you to go to rehab, you went willingly. They had to know what was best for you. Because you sure as hell didn’t.

Your eyes slowly trailed up to the judges, resisting the urge to wipe your eyes, unsure of if there were even tears in them.

The judges all had straight faces. For a second your heart sunk.

Maybe you just weren’t good enough.

Was your best not good enough?

The female judge was the first to crack. She turned away and her shoulders began shaking, her hands shooting up to her face. Sobs were torn from her mouth, none too quietly.

The CEO, Bang Shi Hyuk or better known as PD Nim, wasn’t crying or staring almost blankly at you. He was smiling.

“Thank you for auditioning, we’ll get back to you if you’ve made it through.” He stated, voice a little quieter than normal. “You remind me of someone.”

You blinked.

He sighed, realising that you wanted to know who he meant. “You remind me of RM, from BTS. You both speak well and have heartfelt lyrics.”

It was your turn to smile, a sense of pride washing over you. “He’s my brother.”

The judges gasped quietly, the crying woman’s eyes widening. “Why didn’t you tell us beforehand? We would’ve marked you better!”

You shuffled on your feet, fingers playing with each other. “Well…I guess… I..”

“I think Kim Y/n means that she didn’t want to use her brother to make it through the auditions.” Bang Shi Hyuk said, smiling kindly at you.

You nodded vigorously. “Yeah. I want to do it for myself. Not cheat my way through…”

The woman stood up, face contorted somewhere between disbelief and anger. “What if you don’t make it through? Wouldn’t that be worse on your reputation? It wouldn’t even be cheating, it would just be an advantage!”

“I want to do this myself. I’m sure I can.”

Bang Shi Hyuk nodded. “We have your details and contact information. The period of call backs is one to two weeks. Thank you. Goodbye.”

-✥-

“Namjoon’s really good at rapping.”

You were lying on the floor of the practice room at Big Hit Entertainment with five other girls. Not just any girls. These girls were insanely talented— and also the only female idol trainees signed under the same company as the Kpop sensation, BTS, the band your brother was in. You six girls were kind of special in that sense.

“Yeah I know.” You replied, not trying to hide the pride in your voice.

“How come you aren’t good at rapping then?” Aiko asked, her dark eyes fixated on the tv mounted on the wall. You rolled your eyes when you saw that her eyes were solely on your brother. You still weren’t used to the whole ‘worldwide famous brother’ thing.

“Just because my brother is a good rapper doesn’t mean I am too.”

Heeyoung laughed. “Yeah but how can you not even drop a beat?”

Heeyoung was the main rapper in the group, so you weren’t surprised to hear this from her.

“I’m a singer, not a rapper.” You replied.

Ji-Eun smiled softly. Her smile was a welcoming thing to you. She normally was quiet, didn’t smile much and wasn’t very opinionated— a real peacekeeper. When she spoke, she spoke with pure honesty. You had never seen her lie before, at least, not successfully.

“You’re the best singer I’ve ever heard. Better than all those professional singers out there.”

You went red. “J-Ji! You can’t say that!”

Aiko shook her head. “No, she’s right. You’re a real natural talent. Probably even better than Jungkook.”

Your eyes widened. “J-Jungkook? He’s a senior to us! You can’t insult him like that!”

“Y/n, it’s a compliment to you.” Aiko scoffed, no malice in her voice.

“B-but-!”

A tinkling laugh filled the room and you turned to the source. The lead dancer of your group was grinning up from her phone. “Y/n, you really can’t accept compliments can you?”

“I can accept compliments just fine Luna.” You pouted.

Luna shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe just not in front of us.”

“Baram has no problem accepting compliments. I guess she should do our acceptance speeches.” Aiko stated.

Baram looked up from her phones. Baram smirked instantly. “No, that won’t work. Our modest leader shall accept everything.”

“Accept what?” Luna laughed. “We haven’t even debuted yet!”

Aiko jumped up, thrusting her fist into the air. “Yeah, but I know we’ll do well! Just like BTS! Just like TXT!”

“Yeah but BTS is mainly vocalists. We have two vocals.”

Everyone’s eyes drifted to Baram. She was a known overthinker. Ji-Eun quickly came to the rescue though. “Doesn’t matter. We’ve got some of the best dancers I’ve ever known! We’ll rock the industry to their core.”

You grinned. If anyone could energise your group, it was definitely Ji-Eun. “On three! UT-Opia!”

“UT-Opia!”

-✥-

You sat down in your dormitory, ignoring the fact that Aiko was sleeping, quite loudly, in your own bed. You rolled your eyes, throwing a blanket over her and turning on your camera.

You smiled warmly into the camera. “Welcome back, Blisses! I’m Y/n, the leader and main singer of UT-Opia! Today I’ll be talking about the song writing process! First I think of what the song will be about. Normally two themes: Love or sadness. I’m feeling pretty happy right now, so I’ll write about love.”

You talked for maybe five minutes before signing off and turning off the camera. You sighed in relief. Now all you had to do was your afternoon workout, and you would be done for the day.

Aiko stirred from under the blanket. “Oh. Hey Y/n.”

Walking over to her, you smiled lovingly. As much as you loved all the girls equally, you had a soft spot for the maknae, Aiko.

“Hey Aiko.”

She looked over at where your camera was set up, sheets of music and note paper discarded messily. Her brow creased. “Were you filming a daily vlog?”

You nodded.

“Don’t overwork yourself.” She warned.

You laughed unintentionally at this. Here she was, so exhausted from her daily life that she had collapsed into your bed, and slept for who knows how long. And she was telling you to take a break.

“I’m fine Aiko. You, however, look tired. Please sleep well. I’ll wake you when we need to practice.”

Her head immediately fell into the blanket again. “Thanks Y/n.”

You shared a room with Ji-Eun, which you never used. Really, it was more a gesture than anything useful.

You carefully pried open the front door to your actual dorm, being as silent as possible.

“Y/n! You’re back!”

Your brother greeted you with a hug and you couldn’t help but fall into his warm embrace. He smiled at you.

“Where were you? I hope you weren’t practicing all day..”

You grinned and pulled him into another quick hug. “No more than I need to.”

Namjoon sighed. He rustled his short blue hair and eyed your own dyed hair. “Honestly, at this point do we even look like siblings?”

“The price of fame.” You quipped. He laughed slightly.

“The price of keeping your fans happy.”

You turned to him, setting down the cup of coffee you had just begun to make. You studied him with care, studying him for any of his normal nervous habits. But no, he was standing calm and still.

“Don’t you enjoy making your fans happy anymore?”

He looked up from his own cup. He shook his head. “I do. I love making them happy. In fact, they make me happy.”

“I wonder if I’ll be as happy.”

The words came out without any intention to. Your thoughts had somehow managed to scramble themselves and now your older brother was looking at you, bright eyes unable to mask their sympathy.

“I’m sure you’ll be just as successful—if not more. And I’ll always make sure you’re happy.”

You sucked in a breath. “Always?”

“When have I ever not been here for you?”

You didn’t answer his question, knowing if you lied he may be able to tell, somehow. Instead you just nodded, smiled slightly awkwardly.

A gush of breeze raced past you, so fast you couldn’t even see what it was. Well, not really. As sneaky as Taehyung thought himself, the young man from your brother's group was actually not very good at unnoticed movements. In fact it had only taken two days of living with him to know his lying habits, exactly how fake his smile was, and what he did when he was tired. A lot of the time, it was the latter. He never seemed to get a full night's sleep. Often he would knock on your door and you would get out of bed and follow him out onto the deck. Together you would sit in silence, just gazing at the stars.

“Y/n! You hard worker! I’m glad you’re back!”

You smiled at the younger man and brought him in to you for a brief hug. “Ah, I should be saying that to you guys. Promoting a new album is making your schedules busy, eh?”

Namjoon sighed loudly. “It’s hard.” He saw your slightly disappointed face and hurried to correct himself. “It’s always worth it though.”

“Mm. I’ll wait until I see the worth.”

You breath hitched. Min Yoongi, the second oldest in your brothers group, had entered the room. He scratched his neck slowly, eyes trailing to each person's present face. He looked away before he got to you though.

“Oh Yoongi give her some hope.” Taehyung complained.

Yoongi shrugged. “It’s true. I’m just tired right now. Where’s the cereal?”

“Grandpa, it’s 10 at night.” Namjoon groaned.

Yoongi’s upper lip curled downwards in something that resembled disgust. “What’s wrong with cereal at night?” His frown deepened. “And don’t call me grandpa.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Whatever. How’s your practice going anyway?”

Realising this was directed at you, you looked up into your brothers strong eyes. “I think we’re pretty good! Almost as good as you guys!” You teased.

Namjoon laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised. You girls are very talented. All we have really is years of work and a massive fan base backing our every move.”

Your eyebrows fell. “We haven’t even debuted yet. Of course we aren’t that successful.”

“You guys still do daily vlogs right?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah Y/n did one this morning.”

Turning to Yoongi, your heart caught slightly. “D-did you watch it?”

He nodded. “It was good. I like the way you write your music. It’s very deep.”

Your heart began pounding, not because of the butterflies catching at the fact that he had been watching you, but now because he had seen you so invested in your music. It almost felt as if you were ripping out pages of a diary you had kept for years and giving it to him to read through.

“Too bad you didn’t do any singing though.”

“I haven’t heard you sing— really sing, I’m so long Y/n.” Namjoon jumped in. “Do you think you could sing for me at some point.”

“Me too!” Taehyung jumped in, reminding you that he was still there.

“Maybe later?” You squeaked.

Namjoon’s eyes narrowed. “That’s fine. I think you should go to bed.”

You sighed. Of course Namjoon had noticed the sleep bags under your eyes. He was too perceptible for his own good sometimes.

“I will. I just need to talk with Jungkook first.”

The three boys nodded. It had become a regular thing, you talking to each of the boys in private every few days. They just assumed that it was for some type of mentoring purposes, as the things you asked about were always vague. But your conversations always turned to a more emotional route.

Because you weren’t there only for their tutoring and mentoring.

-✥-

“Jungkook sunbae?”

“Come in.”

You slowly opened his door, walking in quietly. He was slouched on the floor against his wall, phone in hand. He looked up at you and grinned.

“Hey Y/n. Nice to see you. And for the hundredth time, just call me Jungkook. You’re older than me for goodness sake.”

You laughed, sliding down next to him. “But you have so much more experience than me. It doesn’t feel right addressing you so casually.”

“You’ve been living here for two whole years now. I think we’re pretty good friends at this point.”

“You guys have really blown up over two years.”

He turned off his phone, throwing it and landing it perfectly onto his bed. “And you guys have gotten a lot better at dancing— which to be honest, is astounding seeing how good you were to start with.”

“And your mental health has gotten so much better.”

“It’s only thanks to you.”

You smiled. “I’m glad I can do anything to help you. You didn’t need much helping really, just a gentle push in the right direction. You’ve been strong since I’ve known you.”

“You as well.” Jungkook responded earnestly. “You were really reluctant to move in with us at first.”

A laugh filled the room. “Well you should expect that— A 23 year old moving in with a bunch of men.”

Jungkook shrugged. “I moved in with a bunch of teenagers and young men when I was only young. I guess I had very different experiences to other people.” He looked down at the tattoos running all along the skin of his hands. The word ‘ARMY’ spelt out of his group members' names. “I guess some of those experiences were good though.”

A warm smile washed over your face, lighting up your eyes.

Jungkook was right.

Some experiences were different— and they weren’t all enjoyable.

But some of them were good.

“I’m really glad I came here. Even if I didn’t really want to at first. I’ve learnt so much from you guys. I think I’ve grown a lot more too.”

Jungkook chuckled, ready to poke fun at you after your shared emotional moment. “I hope you don’t mean in height, because that certainly isn’t true.”

You rolled your eyes, shoving him slightly as you got up.

He looked slightly crestfallen as you began to exit his room. “Wait I didn’t mean to offend you!”

You giggled. “And you didn’t. I just need to go to bed. I’m tired, Kook.”

A bright grin washed over his face, white teeth popping out in a bunny like expression. “You called me Kook!”

You paused in his doorway. “No..”

Bolting towards, and before you could react he had his arms wrapped around you tightly.

This felt sickeningly similar.

The feeling of being deprived of air.

The world turned to pure black.

“Y/n?”

You blinked.

Right. That was just your memories. This was the present.

And there was no reason for you to be afraid.

Grabbing at Jungkook’s back you found your chin resting on his shoulder. He fidgeted, clearly surprised that you had returned his gesture.

“Yeah I called you Kook. Goodnight, Jungkook. Sleep well.”

He pulled back, even though you were his noona, a few years older than him even, he still stood a large majority taller than yourself. He leant down to press a light kiss onto your forehead. A brotherly action.

You pulled him into another hug quickly before running out of his room, trying in vain to hide your beaming face.

-✥-

“They’re coming over here? Them!” Aiko squealed, not even trying to conceal her inner fangirl.

“Yeah. And one of ‘them’ is my older brother.” You eyed up Aiko’s bouncy stage. “Don’t make it weird.”

Aiko huffed, placing her hands onto her hips, staring at you with a sassy pout. “I've never made things weird.”

Luna jumped up, feeding off Aiko’s overexcited energy. “We can introduce ourselves as a group right? That’ll be so cool! Using our stage names too!”

“You don’t even have a stage name.” Heeyoung pointed out.

Luna thrust a hand at herself dramatically. “My name is so beautiful I need no stage name.”

“Girls! Get ready, they’ve just arrived.” Your manager said offhandedly, obviously not grasping the weight of the rest of your group getting to perform in front of the most famous band in the world.

You all jumped up, standing in a line in front of the door, a few metres back so as to not scare the poor boys.

The door clicked open and a bodyguard stepped inside. He looked around, then stepping forwards and aside, he cleared the way for the tall man behind him to enter.

Your brother smiled softly at you as the rest of the group filed inside slowly. You could hear Aiko practically buzzing when Jimin stepped inside.

“2! 3! Bangtan. Hello, we’re BTS!”

“We know.” Ji-Eun muttered and you had to bite your tongue to suppress a laugh.

You stepped forward, taking in a breath. “Hello! We are UT-Opia!”

At the end for UT-Opia, the other girls joined in so it came out as a chorus.

Your manager waved his hand as if this wasn’t necessary at all. It probably wasn’t, but it made you feel professional.

“Introduce yourselves girls. I’m sure the boys don’t need to.”

Ji-Eun raised her hand. “Manager, I’m sure I’ve told you, I don’t know BTS well at all.”

You giggled. Ji-Eun was ever blunt and honest. Your manager didn’t see this as a virtue though, and hung his face in his hands.

“It’s fine. Hi! I’m RM, rapper and leader of BTS.”

The following six members introduced themselves, to which Ji-Eun noticeably didn’t pay much attention to. Realising it was finally your turn, you took a deep breath, mustering your fleeting courage.

“I’m Y/n of UT-Opia. I'm the main vocalist and the leader.”

“I’m K.” Ji-Eun tried dismally to put any emotion into saying her stage name. “I'm the lead rapper and the oldest.”

“Hey! I’m Luna, lead dancer!” Luna accentuated the words ‘lead dancer’ with a flip of her dyed blonde hair.

“I’m Gem and I’m a main dancer.” Baram looked almost starstruck to be talking to BTS. She was normally overly confident and self certain, but right now she looked quite awed.

“I’m Cinnamon, it’s a stage name do not worry, and I’m a main dancer but I prefer the title of-”

Manager tapped his watch. Heeyoung smiled sympathetically at him, but regardless continued her speech. “I’m main dancer but I prefer the title of main rapper.” She looked down at her purple button up shirt and dark tracksuits that somehow looked fashionable. “I’m not as good at dancing as I am at styling.”

You could’ve sworn you heard Manager groan at her final wordings.

“I’m Aiko. I’m the youngest and I’m a sub vocal and also a dancer and sub rapper!”

Manager breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness that’s over. Girls do you have a song you could perform, you know, to show what you can do? The boys can give some pointers or something.”

He looked down hurriedly at his watch. “I’m late to a meeting. Thank you BTS for coming. Please take care of them.”

As soon as the uptight man rushed from the room, Yoongi dropped onto the ground along with Jimin, and on the other end of the room, Heeyoung.

“Let’s get rid of the formalities, alright?” Yoongi asked.

You nodded. “Ji-Eun, their names are Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook, alright?”

She frowned. “I would’ve addressed them by their hair colours if I didn’t know.”

“But unnie-” You began.

Hoseok cut you off with a laugh. “Sorry Y/n for interrupting. Just K has such a lack of care. It’s quite honestly refreshing when everyone treats you like kings of some kind.”

“My name isn’t actually K.” Ji-Eun pointed out. “It’s Ji-Eun. Call me Ji.”

“I’m Baram.” Gem added.

You noticed the boy's eyes trail to Heeyoung. She didn’t comply.

“I’m just Cinnamon. It’s my birth name.”

“Her name is Heeyoung.” You said, grinning at her.

She rolled her eyes. “And the air of mystery is gone.”

“So what are you guys gonna perform?” Yoongi asked, eager to hear you sing.

You fiddled with your fingers. “We’re a mainly dance focused group, should we dance?”

“I want to hear you sing though.” Yoongi replied, not enforcing, but softly so he sounded as if he were reassuring you.

“Well.. I-” You begun.

Heeyoung leapt to her feet. “Well? Cmon! Let’s do that song!”

“Heeyoung and Aiko dragged you to your feet. “It’s a good song too!”

“I dunno.” You whispered.

Ji-Eun looked deep into your eyes. “There’s no harm in trying.”

And with that, you were in the middle of the room, a microphone in hand and the rest of your group spread around you.

Aiko pressed the player, turning on a quiet piano track you could remember sitting down and playing to record. It had been emotional by yourself, how would it be with people with you?

You took a deep breath.

No harm in trying.

Focusing on your voice instead of their reactions, you closed your eyes. As the words to your song left your lips, your mind wasn’t in the practice room. You were racing through all your bad memories.

And there was a light at the end of the foggy tunnel of pain.

A way out.

The last time Namjoon had heard you sing was before he went to audition for Bighit Entertainment. A long time ago. You had been just goofing around with him, he was rapping to the song and you were singing. He had showered you with compliments over your voice after that.

Would he still like your voice?

Your eyelids fluttered open. Ji-Eun, Heeyoung, Aiko and Baram were all moving rhythmically around you, moving with the music. Luna was dancing beside you in a smooth flowing form of actions. It wasn’t the normal hip hop or pop dancing she normally did. This was a more sorrow filled format. Her movements were lucid. She noticed you watching and made her way over to you. Her palm drew across your face, sliding your eyelids shut.

Only when you felt the moisture on her palm slide across your face did you realise you were crying. So much emotion was being poured into your voice that you hadn’t kept a tight enough lid on how you were acting physically.

You didn’t make the motion to wipe off your tears though.

The tears, the pain— they were part of your song.

Part of your life.

As the song drew to a close, your eyes opened again to see the astounded faces of the members of BTS. Yoongi’s eyes were wide and it seemed as if there was a slight sheen to them, a small amount of moisture. Hoseok, Jimin and Jin all looked amazed, and slightly guilty that you were crying. Jungkook and Taehyung were both blinking back tears. They had needed you a lot more than the others in your years of helping them with their mental health and hated seeing you upset.

The boys all had the same look of adoration and amazement plastered onto their faces. They were blown away by your voice, your emotion. By you.

Your brother was astounded though. A wave of emotions seemed to be rippling through his expressions all at once. It was a relief to hear your sweet voice once again, lifting and filling up the room as you sing your heart out. Pride overwhelmed him.

He was proud of you, of your voice. Of your emotions.

You fetched some drink bottles and took the chance to dry your eyes, handing a bottle to each member of your group.

“That was a really good song.” Yoongi noted. “The piano was superb as well. The lyrics.. they were really deep and heartfelt.

Aiko smiled. “That’s our Y/n writing and playing that song!”

Namjoon blinked slowly. “You wrote that song?”

“Y-yeah.” You gulped. Maybe he didn’t like it after all. “It’s not very good but-“

“Are you kidding me?” Namjoon yelped. “It was so good! The lyrics were so deep as Yoongi said! I can’t believe you’re such a good writer!”

You flushed a shade of crimson. “I-I-I thank you.”

“What is…” Yoongi’s voice trailed off. He peered at the moisture still in your reddened eyes. “Never mind.”

You flashed an okay-then smile at him and turned back to listen to how Hoseok and Jimin were critiquing their dancing— even though they would be the first to admit there was hardly anything to criticize. Jungkook began talking to you about some singing tips and you immersed yourself back into real life again. Pulling your mind out of your over active imagination.

-✥-

A nock came on your door when it was already late at night. In fact, if you stuck to your schedule you would already be in bed. But you found yourself sitting in your room, writing out lyrics to a song that you didn’t even need to write. You slowly opened the door, shutting off your light first so it looked as if you were about to go to bed, and not ignoring your schedule.

“Sorry Y/n. I know it’s a bit late.”

Yoongi stood in the hallway, shifting awkwardly, his eyes in contrast shon with a determination.

You felt your stomach fill with butterflies and you tried to quench the feeling. “No, it’s fine. What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong. I just...I wanted to ask a question.”

“Fire away.”

He shook his head slightly. “Well it’s not just a casual question. And I want to make sure I’m not invading your privacy. But it’s about the song you sung earlier.”

You felt your heart drop, blood running cold while simultaneously goosebumps spiked onto your skin.

“You seemed very emotional.. not even seemed. You cried and I really want to know why. I just feel that if I wait any longer to ask you, it’ll be too late. Now feels like the right time.”

Sighing, you knew he was right. You couldn’t hide your demons forever. Even though you had talked to your therapist a bit about the incident, you had never gone into depth about it with your parents. You had never even told Namjoon. Your brother had no idea that it had happened.

And it was time that he knew.

“Can you go get Namjoon? I’m not ready to tell the others yet.”

You were really close to Yoongi, the time that you had spent in their housing really grew you close to him. He had picked up on your main reason for being there almost the third time you had talked to him. He didn't mind that you were partially there just to help their mental health.

When you first moved in he hadn’t been at his best, stressed over the band’s popularity and success. His OCD was worse than ever.

More upset than the others, you were eager to help him get back on his feet. At first however, Yoongi was cold to you. He didn’t think he needed your help. He could fix it himself.

And he thought you were stuck up and arrogant to think that you could help him. After all, you were only 25 years old. Who were you to help him?

But slowly and surely with your help, he managed to get a hand on his health. He accepted that you could help him. It came to a time when he was happy to talk to you, and looked forward to it even.

Telling them was hard, but it felt freeing. Like a weight you had been carrying for the past eight years was lifted. As if you had been chained to your trauma and couldn’t get free, and now the locks were opened.

“You were attacked?” Namjoon almost yelled. You shushed him, nodding. Even though Yoongi had told the other boys not to enter the recording studio, you didn’t want to run any risks of them hearing regardless.

“The place is sound proofed Y/n, don’t worry.” Namjoon looked apologetic, as if by yelling he had upset you somehow. “But you were attacked? When was this?!”

“When I was seventeen…”

He immediately let out a cry. “You never told me? I could’ve helped you! Did the person ever get caught? Held accountable?”

You shook your head. “It wasn’t a person… it was three men.”

Namjoon swore loudly. “Multiple people? Attacking a fucking teenager? Who the fuck do they think they are? Who are they Y/n?”

You felt someone’s warm hand slip into yours, giving your own a tight reassuring squeeze. You noticed you were trembling slightly. It wasn’t from Namjoon raising his voice. It was from realising the weight of what had happened to you, that had suddenly come crashing down onto your mind.

You kept your gaze focused on Yoongi’s hand grasping yours, trying not to look at your astonished brother's face.

“I… I don’t know. They.. weren’t found.”

Namjoon let out a loud growl. “So the authorities can’t even do their job and find these degenerates? Fuck them.”

“N-Namjoon they’re trying their best! It’s not their fault…”

A wave of sympathy and guilt washed over his face. “It’s not your fault either Y/n! It’s those stupid bastards fault!”

You held your free hand up to quiet him. “Namjoon, I know it’s not my fault.”

His eyes narrowed, staring deep beyond your skin. “You’re so different Y/n… I shouldn’t have left you. You’ve changed so much from the little girl I left in Ilsan.”

You shook your head. “I changed at first after the attack. When I miscarried my child,”

You heard the boys intake of breath when they heard miscarriage. Namjoon didn’t know that you had been pregnant. YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T KNOW. How could you talk about this without crying? Without breaking down?

It was so hard to think about let alone talk to someone else about. But it was your brother. He had a right to know. And you wanted him to know.

“I-it really changed me. I thought.. maybe I was to blame for my child’s death. After all, I was the mother.. I was meant to take care of my baby. And I didn’t.”

“Y-your child..?” Namjoon whispered.

The present had faded into a fog. It was if you were standing in the dark, pure silence enveloping you. All you could hear was your thoughts, booming louder than you could control.

Your child.

Yoongi softly touched your arm. “Y/n? You were.. pregnant when you were attacked?”

You shook your head slowly. “The attack.. I got pregnant after..”

The words clicked inside Yoongi and Namjoon’s minds, sudden rage boiling through them.

The child you had carried inside you. The innocent victim of ruthless men, who you were just as bad as. It wasn’t the child’s fault. You had decided to keep it after you were found to be pregnant, hoping that you would be able to provide the child a life better than it’s conception.

You found out only months later that due to complications of your physical and mental health sustained after the attack— the poor infant had died before even reaching half term.

You had failed them.

“Y/n.. it’s not your fault.” Yoongi murmured. “You couldn’t stop them from attacking you, you weren’t to know… it’s in no way your fault. It’s so brave that you kept the baby...”

You shook your head, hands coming up to wipe tears from your eyes. “I was the mother! How could I fail my baby? It wasn’t their fault that their father was a c-criminal! It wasn’t their fault that they were conceived from an assault! They were innocent! T-There’s always a way to save someone!”

Namjoon grabbed your hands in his. “Y/n, it isn’t your fault. I’m really sorry you had to go through that, that you still feel guilt. You were so brave to try and give them a life anyway, even if it hurt you. You shouldn’t feel any guilt. It wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself. I love you, Y/n. And I’m here for you.”

You sniffled softly, glad for your brother's presence.

He was right.

You knew that.

You had known that for years. But it took someone else saying that for you to finally realise it was true.

It wasn’t your fault.

“Do you feel alright to continue, Y/n?” Yoongi murmured, an empathetic expression washing over his face. “We can take a break if you want…”

“No.” You smiled slightly, Yoongi’s caring side more than enough to reassure that you were safe. “I’m alright.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued your story. “I-I got addicted to drugs. I was completely off the rails, trying my best to cope with something I couldn’t handle. It was destroying me from the inside out. Eating away at my physical health as well as my mental state. My-... our parents, found out a little while after. I didn’t last that long before they discovered what happened.”

“They knew?” Namjoon cried, his choice cracking. “Why did no one tell me? I should’ve known! I would’ve helped you!”

You shook your head, tears filling your eyes. “You don’t understand Namjoon! If I would’ve told you you would’ve left BTS! You would’ve come back home!”

“Well yes! Of course!” Namjoon replied.

“I couldn't let you give up your dreams for me! I couldn’t be responsible for ruining my brother's life! Not when our parents were already so shocked and upset to hear the news! Mum was always so supportive to both of us! She tried her best to make me happy and comfortable! But it got to the point where they couldn’t handle it anymore.. they sent me to rehab.”

“Rehab?” Yoongi asked, his voice quieter than usual.

You nodded. “It really helped me. The people there were so kind. It took me a while, but I finally recovered.”

Namjoon’s heart had been thumping in his chest for the past ten minutes. He couldn’t bear the thought that anyone had dared to hurt his little sister. By all accounts, to him she was perfect. He couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to hurt her.

“I should’ve been there for you! I’m your older brother and I didn’t even get to support you! I didn’t get the chance.”

You felt your heart shaking within you. “N-Namjoon? I have to tell you something else too.”

Namjoon and Yoongi looked at you, nervous for whatever you were going to say. You took a deep, shaky breath.

“You know the people you were in a rap group with back at Ilsan?”

Namjoon’s heart stopped.

“T-they were the ones who attacked me.”

Anger flared inside Namjoon’s eyes. “My former friends?! Attacked you?”

You nodded reluctantly.

His head fell into his hands. “I can’t believe this.”

“I’ll kill them.”

You both turned to Yoongi, whose jaw was set in determination. “I’ll kill them.” He repeated, his eyes focused solely on you.

Namjoon quickly jumped in. “Me too. Those sick bastards think they can get away with hurting my sister? I-I-”

“No.” You whispered. “I’m fine.”

“Fine?” Namjoon snapped. “I never knew that you were this hurt! How could you be fine?”

“Rehab really cleared my head.. I finally got a chance to step back and for the first time in possibly years, think about what I wanted.”

“Y/n…”

Yoongi’s soft eyes were focused solely on you, in a way that would normally cause your heart to do somersaults. But not right now. The tension in the room was thick, the atmosphere that of a depressing one.

“You’re a fighter.”

You hadn't expected this response. You had expected some form of criticism, for him to tell you on for subbumcing so easily to the quick way to no pain.

You get your heart squeezing. You had never talked in depth about your feelings to your parents, but right now you would be willing to open your heart to Yoongi.

“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. Sure, when you first got here I thought you were a snob, someone stuck up and ready to have the world handed to them simply for Namjoon’s achievements.”

Namjoon’s brow creased. “Watch how you talk about my sister hyung-”

“It’s alright.” You reassured him. “I trust his words mean no harm.”

Yoongi nodded instantly. “My views on you quickly changed. You cared for each of us, even if initially it was solely as a favour to Hitman Bang. And we began to care deeply for you. Because no matter what you’ve been through, no matter what tears you’ve shed and for what reasons, you always will mean so much to us. So much more than you can imagine.”

Yoongi wiped a tear from forming on the corner of his eye. He smiled sadly at you, regardless of the simplicity of the gesture, a wave of emotions spread through the one smile, rejuvenating and replenishing your drive, your focus.

“You deserve your happiness.”

You turned to the small voice.

He had spoken so much quieter than you had ever heard him speak before, the raw feelings in his voice transparent. “You deserve to be happy. You’ve been working so hard. You can’t just sacrifice your happiness for the benefit of others. I remember when we were growing up, you used to always make sure that I was okay if anything happened. Y/n, I’m your older brother. It’s okay to rely on me for support sometimes. You need me just as much as I need you. And that’s not a bad thing.”

You couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. You threw yourself against Namjoon’s chest, grabbing his back tightly, clasping him as if you could never let go.

“Y/n…”

You tried in vain to wipe your tears from your eyes, looking up at his strong face.

“It’s okay to cry. You don’t always have to smile. You’re still strong. And I’ll still love you anyway. You’re still my sister.”

You buried your face into his toned chest again. “N-Namjoon..I-I-I love you too.” You sniffled.

He gripped you tightly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

“It’s not your fault, Namjoon. It’s only their fault. Please don’t feel guilty.”

Pulling away from you, he wiped the tears off your moist cheeks. “Okay Y/n. For you, anything.”

A small cough was interjected into the comfortable silence of the room, reminding you that Yoongi was still there. Both you and your brother turned to him. His eyes were soft and empathetic, as if he didn’t want to spoil the moment, but couldn't wait any longer.

“C-can I please talk to Y/n alone?”

Namjoon considered his hyung. While he didn’t really want to leave his sisters side, he knew that Yoongi wouldn’t ask it he wouldn’t take care of her. Namjoon knew he could trust him.

“Okay.” He relented. “Y/n, I love you. Just say if you need anything.”

On his way out he grabbed Yoongi’s shoulder bringing the older man against him.

“Make sure she’s okay. Don’t you dare hurt her.”

Yoongi nodded. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I was in a dark place once. I wasn’t happy. It felt like the world was against me.”

Now that you were alone with Yoongi, he seemed a lot less cold, and a lot more caring. The off putting gaze he had on accident given you multiple times was replaced with soft eyes that seemed to drip honey.

“I got through it. And I’m heaps weaker than you. I don’t have the mental endurance that you have, nor the fighting spirit. If anyone can overcome this situation— it’s you.”

You wiped your eyes with your hands. It was so reassuring to have someone believe in you. To have someone who was backing you up.

“You know, I can’t believe how strong you are. To be able to recover from that in just years? And with only really your own strength? I really admire it. It’s amazing.”

You blushed slightly. “I didn’t really have much choice.”

He sighed, eyes scanning the door as if someone might burst in any second.

“Y/n… I shouldn’t be saying this. But I can’t hold onto my feelings any longer. I really like you.”

Your heart began racing and you could feel your skin begin to heat up.

Could Yoongi see how nervous you were?

You hoped he couldn’t.

“I-I-”

He grabbed your hand tightly, making your face flush.

“Y/n, you don’t have to answer me right now. I can wait as long as you need. I would wait forever for you.”

“Y-Yoongi I really like you too. I know I’m not always perfect but I-”

Yoongi’s body fell against yours, his arms wrapping around your frame. He stroked your hair slowly, burying his face in your shoulder.

“You don’t have to be perfect. Your flaws make you humans.” He pulled back slightly, playing with your hair as he looked right through you. “I believe you can overcome your flaws. They don’t make you a bad person. They make you you.”

You giggled slightly. It was weird to hear Yoongi so sweet. Normally he stayed away, his face in a resting serious face. You were so happy to see him smile.

“I’m so glad you like me back. I was so worried.”

“Me too…”

He pulled away one last time, his face weighted with a burden that hadn’t been obvious before. Or had you just not noticed.

“Y/n.. I know your past. So I think it’s time you found out mine.”

Your mouth opened slightly, eyes widening.

“Really? You trust me that much?”

He nodded, grinning. Then he frowned again. “Not all of it will be pretty. I-it might shock you a bit.”

You squeezed his hand that was still in yours. He blushed.

“I’m ready.”

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years

Text

2x02 - Never Been Marcused

Here we are on a new recap, sadly we say good bye to the hamptons on this episode, but it seems fitting considering is the start of fall after all.

This one of those episodes were I barely remember what happens except for a few scenes here and there from my first watch, so it almost felt like watching a new episode. Anyway here we go.

As usual recap under the cut:

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

Akward morning after talk between Dan and Serena, not my prefered way for the start of an episode, but what can I do

Well they are kind of cute here, I’ll admit. Though I’m kind of glad Serena’s first instict wasn’t to get back together right there and actually acknoweldging their break up had a lot of reasons behind it.

Blair looks super cute riding that bicycle, so picture perfect. Too bad is only on paper. That Marcus guy is super boring.

Blair can be like “Revenge is so 12 hours ago” but Serena’s is all of us being like “Sure Blair, you totally love Marcus and all of this has nothing to do with Chuck ofc”

I’m not sure if being refered as “ a perfect post Bass palate cleanser” can be taken as a compliment. And just like magic a wild Bass appears.

I’m just here to enjoy the akward moment every single boyfriend of Blair has to endure whenever they realize that Chuck Bass is going to be a relevant part of said relationship.

“For England” Marcus your nation is surely going to be proud of you for acting like a total englishman and accepting to be civil with Chuck Bass, the guy who just totally manipulated you into inserting himself in your date.

“Blair Waldorf a fling... you’re not exactly low maintenance” Serena speaking words of wisdom.

I guess abstinence (on Serena’s side mostly) was hard for Serena and Dan, otherwise I can’t understand why they’re acting as if keeping their hands to themselves is so difficutl, they never seemed that type of couple in S1.

Blair called him Charles, I guess she was pretty mad.

That whole sequence of Dan and Serena fooling around on the Jitney is soooo extra, and so unintentionally funny.

Nate’s family drama is never ending, though imagine the tragedy it must be for any UES to lose their money. Auch.

Surprise! Nate’s fling is actually the Duchess.

This whole dialogue: “No offense but don’t you think you’re a little outmached?” “As a guy. Blair wants to be a princess (>.<) and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club” and the cherry on top “Oh you know is love when you star talking like an assasin” Oh Nate Archibald, I love you.

Also apparently Chuck did spend tme with Bart from time to time, is kind of hard for me to imagine them playing Squash though.

Chuck keeping noble secrets from Nate. That’s love.

Hi Rufus... and Vanessa

Oh Marcus, giving so much intel to his new “best friend”.Also I kind of like the polo/vest combo Chuck’s wearing there. Weird.

“I have to present myself as crown jewel, sorrounded by other smaller slightly flawed gems, but quality stones nonetheless” this is such Blair thing to say haha.

“If you can’t find common ground wiht a dictator I don’t know who can” The added commentary is really making this episode for me.

I’ve never related more to Blair than this moment where she express how great it is that Serena’s free from Dan.

I just love when we get to see how much Chuck actually cares about Nate, selling his shares of Victrola is no small deal.

Nate and Vanessa! I still can’t believe how much I don’t mind, and actually kind of like this ship.

I kind of would love to see Anne Archibald doing her shopping at Salvation’s Army.

I love the combination of that suit with that shirt Chuck’s wearing, the color really suits him. I don’t know why but I’m noticing his wardobre much more this time around. Figures. I do remember thinking the first time around he was going to try and seduce the duchess. Now that would have been another akward moment of “Sorry Nate”

Serena looks so pretty here, even if I’m not that fan of her outfil.

“So she can warn me about the effects of too much botox” auch. Chuck: 1, Blair: 0. and he’s definately enjoying it.

I so wish Rufus had gone to tour again. He deserved to live that dream to the fullest.

“A lowly Waldorf” wow. Even I was hurt by that.

I love it when the GG voice oveer points out how ridiculous everything is. Case in point: “Chuck and Blair’s dates are mother and son, and Nate and Blair are exces, and Nate and the mother are in a book club?”

I get why Nate is mad at Chuck for not being upfront about the money, because it’s not easy addmitting that kind of problems in their wordl and even less accepting that kind of help, but Chuck’s intentions were good. Fact is he always helps Nate anyway he can.

The fact that Dan and Serena’s plotline this episode was basically just trying to resist each other, and I can’t help but think that this was the show’s way of trying to make them be more “chair like”, you know intense chemistry and sex appeal. As if.

“if the best version of the situation is I’m going to become Blair’s father in law I think is just time to move on” Now imagine that, thanks to Nate for putting that horrifying thought in my head.

And this is the start of Nate Archibald the gigolo.

“Oh my effing God” same Blair, same. Props to Nate for still acting so rightous and being all like “I don’t have anything to explain to you”

Blair telling the Duchess how things are going to be now... You go baby Vamp!

“I’m gonna turned it in a novel” so I guess this throway line was the start of “Inside”

Rufus beyond anything was first a Dad, the Humphrey kids got the best dad in the show, the kind of Dad any of the NJBC would have love to have as a parent, and yet they feel they were the unlucky ones.

That last scene between Chuck and Blair is such a display of chemistry a lot of ships wish they had. and the literal definition of what eye sexing each other means.

I feel so bad for Nate and Vanessa right now... with the add visual bonus of her sadly blowing the candles for a date that wasn’t. Feeling sad for Vanessa, now that’s new for me.

So this episode while there are moments that I really liked and it did kind of move the plot forward in some points, it also fills a lot like a filler episode and like I don’t really have much to say about it. Maybe because these storylines while I don’t hate them I don’t particularly like them either, in particular this chapter of the Serena and Dan saga this episode feels such a waste of time, they’re basically stalling because they really don’t want to have the difficult conversation of why they broke up and how they can fix their issues, and so to keep avoiding they distract themselves with taming their unrestrained need for sleeping with each other... sorry but what?

I’m not saying there’s no chemistry between Dan and Serena, but their relationship in S1 except for like 1 or two scenes was very much rooted in cutesy moments, tenderness, and how Serena was better with Dan (ugh) and how he wanted for her, not only because she was super hot, they never acted like “oh it’s so hard to keep our hands from each other, and we can’t resist this atraction” that couple were Chuck and Blair, so on this episode I just can’t buy it, it seems forced, almost as if the show wanted them to be more exciting and outrageous... to keep them as the main couple of the show as they were suposed to be, after all at this point of the show while Chuck and Blair were getting more traction, they hadn’t really overtook the show as they eventually did. It also felt part of the “omfg” vibe the show was going for, that scene in the Jitney was so extra, though in my case rather than getting me into them just made me laugh.

Nate storyline on the other hand is the one that really went places this episodes. It turns out his family is on the brink up bankrupcy because all the legal issues his dad is facing, and because his grandfather won’t help he and his mother are a very precarious situation wich leads Nate to seek help. He tries going to Chuck but on one hand he doesn’t really now how to explaint the situation, and also Chuck’s apparently really busy with scheming his way back to Blair. Except Chuck because he knows Nate is going to refuse him and he can’t help but help him either way sells his shares on Victrola and gives the money to Nate’s mom. Of course when Nate finds out he gets mad, because pride and also because he hates that Chuck lied to him about Victrola and to be fair it hasn’t been that long since they had a big fall out because Chuck wasn’t honest about stuff, so there’s that. Still, I feel I must take a moment to point out how much Nate actually means to Chuck? He loves that club, it’s a place with a lot of sentimental meaning too for a lot of reason and yet Chuck doesn’t hesitate to part with it if meants helping Nate. I know Chuck makes plenty of mistakes and awful things during the show, but these kind of moments are always kind of overlook and I just feel that’s unfair because only focusin on the worst of him, reduces him to this one dimensional villian, and in reality Chuck is one of the most complex characters on this show. These kind of moments are an example of his many layers.

So back to Nate, he ends up going to Vanessa, and I just feel this rewatch is turning me into a Nate and Vanessa shipper. Truth is I never hated this couple, but I was a bit meh to it, in part because Vanessa annoys the hell out of me for the most part, but I always thought she was less annoying with Nate. I like how she just sits and listens to Nate, and I think this is something that his best friends are not always the best at, Chuck tries but he’s more the type of friend that goes into action, he does what is need to do in order help rather than the heart to heart talk, and Nate and Serena’s friendship at this point while getting there, is kind of akward still and also there’s always some crisis going on her life that prevents her for being fully there, and Blair and Nate well.. they weren’t ever the talking type. So Vanessa helps with that, also when the show started Nate wanted in someway to detached himself from the UES and all it’s expectations and so Vannesa was that needed breeze of fresh air, and while she can be as judgy as Dan, I always felt she made more of an effort with Nate to be understanding than Dan ever was with the UES. So I like them, at least for now. Too bad Catherine happens and while Nate was really into the idea of having an affair with her this episode he realizes that’s an awful idea (the fact that she has a step son that’s older than him and is also dating Blair is admiteddly gross) but it’s a desperate time, and she offers him her help... and so we got Nate the gigolo, and that last scene in the taxi when he cancels on Vanessa made me sooo sad.

Lastly we have the Chuck and Blair part of the story, it’s always fun to see them scheming, and Chuck’s tactics these episode are rather sucessful at first and it’s mostly a display of him knowing Blair so well that he’s able to get the upper hand on all of her efforts to get on the Lord and his family good side. I should feel bad for her, in the sense that Chuck’s ruiningin her plans and it’s not fair because if he had showed up to Tuscany everything would be different. And yet I’m kind of glad he gets on her way because truthfully, this is just one of those times that Blair is trying to show herself as something she isnt’ in order to get a guy, and also climb higher in the social hierarchy, and it pains me because at the end of the day is just Blair not accepting herself, like Serena keeps pointing out through all the episode, just show the real Blair sure, she’s anything but low maintainance but there’s a lot of amazing in her that can make her shine to anyone. This plot also reminded me a bit of Blair and the prince storyline and also (because this party was trying to be very pretentious and sofisticated) that saloon thing she did with Dan in Season 5 and just remembering that gives me nightmare. So really not a fan of these particular scenes. In the end she ends up gaining the duchess via blackmail, which I like because I hate the Duchess so I’m all for Blair showing her Queen B side in full display and after this episode I missed it. It’s also the basis of that great moment at the end between her and Chuck in the Van der Bass kitchen, which is easily the most memorable thing in the whole hour and only for that I’m glad this episode exists. The chemistry and sexual tension of this whole scene is amazing and it puts to shame all the Dan and Serena “can’t keep their hand of each ohter” scenes, this is how is done. Sorry Derena.

Random bits I noticed:

The Pierces song playing in the background at the start of the episode, “Boy in a Rock and Roll Band” always puts me in a good mood for some reason.

That pearl headband Blair’s wearing at the party were so popular here for a while, I loved it so much back then, I sort of wish I had one now.

I loved the “Summer 08″ collage the Humphrey’s had in their loft. It also had this phrase “ I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality... I still believe that we shall overcome” by Dr. Martin Luther King. Kind of relevant isn’t it?

Having and episode ending with a shot of the NYC skyline at night, while New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down playing in the background... these are the kind of details I love.

Ending with a Chuck pick because I really like this suit

#gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #2x02 #never been marcused

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i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction · 5 years

Text

Gone, yet everywhere (Chapter 1)

(Y/n) Stark had always felt a connection to the sea, she resonated with it - the calmness yet the underlying danger of what lived inside. As she got older she started hearing voices, they’d whisper vague things, things she didn’t understand, a prophecy whispered among seers in a realm long from earth - the lost princess was alive, and she was greater than ever.

She graduated, then did her five years in the army and then she eventually started working for her brother, her mind easily keeping up with her brother’s brain. And little did she know that she’d find the love of her life, Stephen Strange the neurosurgeon, from her brother’s fame.

But with every happy story comes tragedy, and this story is no exception.

A cocktail of the perfect mix; strong language, sexual themes, murder, sarcasm, and badassery.

Find the prologue HERE

The familiar sound of her ringtone surrounded the living room of the big apartment she shared with her husband. She fished her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. because women's jeans weren't allowed functioning front pockets, apparently.

She smiled as she looked at the screen. Tony's name was big on the screen, accompanied by a photo she had taken of him, passed out on the couch, back in their old home. "Well hello, brother dear. What brings you to my oh so humble phoneline?"

"You know the Avengers party that's being held in the tower?"

"...no?" Tony had completely forgotten to mention the party.

"Well, now you know - be there by six. Bring Strange too." And so he hung up. Details had never been his strong suit.

She looked at the clock on the screen, it was three o'clock, she had three hours to get ready. She was woken out of her thoughts as two hands grabbed her from behind, pulling her into a tight chest. Then she received a kiss on the neck. "Who was on the phone?"

She smiled as she heard that familiar voice, she turned around in Stephen's arms and rested her head on his shoulder. She mumbled Tony's name. "He wants us at the Avengers tower at six, there's a party happening - he invited you, too."

"He better have, I wasn't planning on leaving your sight tonight. We should probably take a shower."

"You're making it sound as if it's a classy after party for the Oscars. It's just going to be Tony and his friends drinking for two hours."

He chuckled. "That's some peoples versions of classy. Besides I wasn't planning on taking the shower alone." He smirked down at (Y/n).

She quickly got out of his arms, running towards their shared bedroom. "The last person there's a rotten egg!" And so they raced each there.

They got ready in a comfortable silence between the two. However, 'Modern Love' was playing in the background.

"Mind zipping up my dress?" (Y/n) asked, her back to Stephen. He zipped her dress up agonizingly slow, but only because he liked doing it so much. It was sensual, especially when his knuckles brushed against her back.

"We have thirty minutes left, time to get going." She nodded as she picked up her purse from the chair in the corner.

They walked hand in hand to the garage, it was filled with different cars to choose from. Felt like driving a Lamborghini? BAM, there it was. A Range Rover? There.

Of course, they were picking a Lamborghini for the ride, how else were they supposed to show off?

They got into the car and then they were on their way.

"If you crash this car, I swear I'll kill you." (Y/n) threatened. Stephen only laughed and skidded at the turn, cars honking at them. (Y/n) almost destroyed the car seat from her hard grip. "Don't make me regret our marriage, Mr. Strange."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Mrs. Strange."

The elevator dinged as they arrived at the floor where the party was being held. Hand in hand they walked out to everyone else. "I thought you said this was a party, it's just the team here."

Tony stood up and walked towards the couple. "Well, I lied, kind of. There was a party with more people, but they left."

She laughed as she removed her shoes. "Thank god, I was not feeling extroverted tonight." She walked towards the bar snatching a bottle of beer. She then walked towards the group on the couch. "Y'all coming or what?" She smirked towards her brother and husband. They quickly followed, grumbling about how they were being pushed around by (Y/n).

"So," Sam began. "(Y/n), we never hear about you, tell us your story, it's got to be interesting. Considering you're a Stark."

She laughed. "Well, my childhood was pretty boring, absent father - the usual. I graduated, joined the air force, did my five years, came back home, and then I ended up here - at Stark industries."

"Hold on, you were in the air force?" Sam and Steve looked at her in surprise.

"Yup." She responded, popping the 'p'.

"You forgot to tell them you married the best neurosurgeon in the world," Stephen grumbled into his glass of whiskey.

"Yeah, how did that even happen. As far as most of us are aware, Strange's a rich playboy."

She laughed and looked at Stephen. "Take one for the team."

Stephen cleared his throat and began telling the team the story of how they had met.

Tony and Stephen had both been invited to a gala, Tony hadn't met Pepper yet and he needed a date for the night. And so he'd had the brilliant idea to bring (Y/n). Tony would later come to regret that decision as he had unintentionally helped her find her future husband. They had been placed at the same table for the dinner, they had started talking and immediately there was a spark between the two. Three years later and they got married.

"Wow." The team had collectively expressed.

"No plans for kids?" Thor had asked, his own longing for the pleasure of having kids begging him to ask the question.

They both laughed and looked at each other. "No" they had answered at the same time, which resulted in them laughing more. "We're not exactly planning on having kids, but if it were to happen, I don't think either one of us would've been against it." (Y/n) explained as Stephen looked at her with a fond smile. They were truly the relationship goal that night.

And that's how the night went on - drinking, laughing, enjoying each other's company. Until Steve got a bit too curious.

Steve stared at her a bit before he dared ask his question. "(Y/n)," she looked at him, waiting for the rest of his question. "have you ever thought of joining the Avengers?"

She was taken aback by the question but before she could answer Tony butted in. "Absolutely not, Rogers. Over my dead body that she joins the team."

"I have, actually." She answered, surprising the whole team, all eyes on her. "I was approached by Fury, I answered no, of course - I have nothing to contribute to the team," she laughed. "it feels kind of weird to watch my brother going into fights headfirst though, and knowing you can't do anything. But yeah, I have."

"Keep your thoughts at that stage, I will not allow my little sister to fight the battles we fight."

She put her hands up, surrendering.

It was midnight and it was time for the couple to head home, unfortunately, Stephen had drunk too much so the task to get them home safely had ended up in (Y/n)'s hands. Which she did most efficiently.

She had tucked Stephen into their bed and proceeded to walk to the kitchen, making sure Stephen had aspirin and a glass of water ready for his hangover tomorrow.

She put everything he'd need on her bedside table and then got in bed, already undressed.

"We should...have a.... kid." He had slurred, half drunk half sleeping. She had simply shushed him and turned off the lights.

But right before she fell asleep she was surrounded by several voices, all saying the same thing.

Du hör inte hemma här.

You do not belong here.

#doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x sister!reader

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everly-kindred · 5 years

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Everly’s Diary - Entry #6

Synopsis: Eve finally goes to Diagon Alley so she can experience Ollivanders, and get her first wand!

Words: 1183

Date: 15th of February, 2026

Dear Diary,

Today was a special day! The day I’ve been waiting for! I finally convinced my parents to take me to Diagon Alley so I could get my wand. The day was a little weird at first, but the extraordinary moment of being matched completely erased any strange occurrences in my mind. The feeling of finding the wand meant for me, this odd experience of just knowing it was right… It’s beyond words, honestly.

I had actually had a dream about the wand beforehand, which is what I used to ask my parents for the upteenth time if we could go. I had only seen vague glimpses of it - a flash of one of the golden flowers, a blur of the blue-green colour of the box, a hint of the twisty nature of it. I woke up and immediately told my mom, who finally agreed that we could go just to get my wand. The rest of my school shopping will be done closer to when the school year starts - which, I’m still excited about that, too.

I had yet to ever go to Diagon Alley. I haven’t really gone to London in general, actually. It wasn’t very busy, probably because of how cold it was, but I did see some interesting witches and wizards. We went through this wall of bricks and watched as they all twisted and turned away - I guess that’s how they keep it hidden from muggles. I think the thing that caught my eye immediately was a bright orange shop with a giant head on it, called Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

Honestly, I was drawn to that store most, at first, but we were on a mission. Down the long road that was lined with all sorts of interesting shops, we came closer to the end, where Gringott’s Bank was. We stopped outside of Ollivander’s and my parents had me wait outside - they said they needed to go get money from the bank, and all. I did try to wait outside, but there was this very nice wand-keeper in the store who asked me to come in from the cold. Honestly, I think I was too excited to mind the cold, but I still obliged.

She had been talking to a very strange man, with a stiff sort of posture about him. He seemed like the sort to get cranky easy, but also had this sort of sickly sweet smile that could rot your teeth out. I didn’t trust him. Turns out, the wand-keeper didn’t either. He ended up hearing me mumble stuff about the wand I had seen, and asked me how it was that I knew what it looked like. I lied and told him I just had a gut feeling. Well, that’s more of a half lie, really, but I don’t think he bought it at any rate. But I doubt I’ll ever see him again.

After he left, me and the wand-keeper began to talk. She was a very lovely woman, with these flowers tattooed on her chest that seemed to move with her smile. When she was laughing, they were in full bloom and looked colourful, but when she was talking to that man, they looked thorny and wilted. I didn’t know tattoos could do that! Turns out she has a little sister one year younger than me, who will be going to Hogwarts in 2027.

It seemed like my parents had been gone awhile at this point. I’ve never been to Gringotts, and my parents said they didn’t want to take me as they felt I was too small for the carts they use to go to the vaults. I think this is silly, as goblins are smaller than me! At any rate, they eventually sent me an owl and a bag of coins for me to buy a wand, and so the shop-keeper began her work.

First she gave me a willow wand. The description she gave it made it seem like it’d really suit me, but I ended up unintentionally knocking over a whole shelf of wands when I gave it a wave. After that, she gave me a pear one. This one I simply knew was not right as it was far too… beautiful to be for me, if that makes sense. It looked like it belonged to a queen. As a failure was expected, it turned some small candles into a roaring fire and began burning the walls.

Finally, she brought in a box from the very back. She said she had heard it making noise when I walked in the store, but was too distracted by the weird man to bother with it. Turns out, this box was the very same shade of blue-green I had seen, and contained a wand of vine wood. I knew immediately it was the one I had dreamed about. It’s thin and twisty, with all these curves and swirls, and is covered in flowers that have been carved, burned, and painted with gold. When I used it, I brought some dead tulips that had been wilting over the door back to life. I admit that I cried, but I simply couldn’t help it!

This wand in particular, had made noise because apparently vine wands know when their owner has walked into the store. Apparently these wands are bound to those who are more than meets the eye, with strong personalities, and seek to live their lives with greater meaning. I'm not sure what all of that means yet, but I know that I can feel I'm going to learn a lot from this wand, and go on many adventures with it. I can hardly wait!

After I got my wand, I met my parents at Fortescue’s for some celebratory ice cream. I ended up buying a cupcake for the shopkeep as well. This one was a shimmery pink with these colour changing sprinkles. I waited until I could see she wasn’t at the counter anymore, and then rushed in to leave it there with a little thank-you note. Then, before leaving, we stopped at Weasley’s so I could buy a ton of these different wizarding candies. Who knew candy could do so many gross and destructive things? I got these exploding chocolate… things, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavoured Beans, and a bunch of chocolate frogs. I think I might start a chocolate frog card collection, honestly. So far, I’ve only had one bean from the Bertie Bott’s, and it ended up being grass flavoured, so for now I’m leaving them until I’m feeling… braver.

Now I’m home again, and I’ve been doing hardly more than admiring my wand. I’ve carried it everywhere with me, even though I know I won’t be able to perform magic with it yet. The days have been lazy and relaxing, when dad isn’t making me read up on my english or doing math work. Though yesterday I did make a bunch of Valentine’s cards for all of my family members, so that’s something.

I think I’m going to go read now. Until next time!

Sleep well - Everly

About the Character: Everly Rosemary Kindred is an imaginative Hufflepuff attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She keeps up with her magical journey through a series of diary entries, dream journals, and tarot readings, all documented for future reflection. Her diary is a small glimpse into her enchanted life, and her adventure into the wizarding world and all its splendors. If you’d like more information about Eve, visit her wiki page.

About the Author: My name is Elowen! I am a 21-year-old Hufflepuff & Pukwudgie from Louisville, Kentucky. This page is my creative journey into the magical world, through the lenses of Second Life. Here I post diary entries, dream journals, and tarot readings all from my character’s perspective. If you’d like more information about me, visit my Flickr!

Photo Credits:

Wand - Kore: Everly’s Wand (Original, One-Of-A-Kind Edition!)

Candy - .random.Matter. - Study Break

#harry potter #diary #witch #hufflepuff #magic #mischief managed #secondlife #hogwarts

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flydotnet · 5 years

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Everytime We Touch

Femslash February 2019 - Day 7: Disaster

Summary: They're all disaster sapphics, aren't they?

Fandom: Original Work Ships: Raphaëlle (Garionne)/Jeanne/Christiane

Wordcount: 1.6K words

Notes: AU where I fucking know what to do with my 2012-2013 original work/PDV era characters. It's very inspired by my high school years to a point it's unintentionally creepy. (this title is way too ironic not to hurt my 1998-born soul)

Event hosted by @femslashfeb

AO3 version available here.

Jeanne was, for once, the least disastrous of their friend group. It was a very rare occurrence, considering how much she didn’t know how to deal with literally anything that wasn’t coming up with conspiracy theories on the school or the History-Geography teacher.

“I tell you, she’s dating the French teach’, there’s no other way around! You’ve seen Jonquille and Leeht speak together?! There has to be something between these two, and if it isn’t love, I dunno what is!”

“Jeanne, they hate each other.”

“They totally are together and just pretend to bicker, and you know it.”

“Sure thing Jeanne.”

Jeanne was, for once, the least disastrous of their friend group because she had known for a longer time what was going on. Of course, it could have been because she had been crushing on her childhood and best friend for literally a decade or so by now (wait, had they known each other since they were six? Well… they did, actually), and noticed there was something odd going. So, of course, she told her best adviser: her best friend, who didn’t know anything about love more than she did.

“Hey, bro, is it normal to love, like, two chicks at once?”

“I guess? Wasn’t there this guy of your class who loved every girl in there aside from you anyway?”

“Ludo? He’s gay, he’s just realized it. The guy was in denial all along.”

“Oh, okay. I guessed so, but since I’m not in the same school as you all nowadays…”

Jeanne had always loved Raphaëlle more intensely than the others. Her lesbian awakening was her own childhood friend, and while she had hopes the crush was somehow mutual, she knew it had very little chances to be so. They had exchanged a few weird looks, blushed afterwards, but it may have just been her. It… must have been her since the very beginning, anyway, but one could hope, after all.

The issue was that she had developed a second crush, somehow, someway. Well, you didn’t have to look too far to find her, but it was odd anyway. She had only known Christiane and her very excited tendencies in middle school, and yet she didn’t see her not spending her life with the purple-loving, tall-nailed girl.

So, she had two crushes on two different girls, and both of them had showed interest in boys. This… wasn’t going to go well.

Raphaëlle didn’t know how to deal with the disaster that had become her love life: even if she was single, she had, well, fallen in love with a girl. Actually, make that two: Jeanne was her first crush, perhaps in a cliché twist of life, but Christiane had strongly embedded herself in her thoughts too. Two flowers, and theoretically, she could only embrace her love for one of them. She obviously knew Jeanne was desperately in love with her from everything she could have ever said or done towards or about her: protective tendencies, blushing, prone to hugging (too much so, in fact, but she’d have lied if she said it bothered her in any way once she had told her not to do that in public). She could have simply asked her out, even if she was intimidated by anything riskier than walking down her quiet street in full daylight, and it’d have been just fine. She’d just have to hope her mother didn’t turn out to be a raging homophobe. She, after all, had never been a fan of how obviously lesbian Jeanne was.

Christiane was a trickier case. You simply couldn’t find anyone who looked straighter than Christiane, to put it simply: she fangirled over pretty boys in manga, enjoyed screaming about boys’ love doujinshis, had dated boys and only boys before. Nobody could ever see her being attracted to any girl ever, and yet… And yet she also fangirled on Jeanne whenever the latter took the effort to put on nail polish and complimented Raphaëlle herself when she was all dolled up for a concert. Several times, in fact, if not always and anytime she had the occasion to. There was, simply, something that told her Christiane may have enjoyed being around the two of them a lot more than around other girls, Valentine coming to mind first.

Her love life was a disaster, but a disaster she would deal with, she supposed.

Perhaps Raphaëlle was a disaster bisexual girl, but she could always rely on Jeanne. And so they confessed to each other, one day. There was nothing fancy about it, albeit there was a sense of relief to it. This was, for now, a problem less to deal with, after all.

“I love you, Rapha.”

“I know. I love you too, Jeanne.”

“…That was kinda anticlimactic, wasn’t it?”

“It is, but… it’s fine enough, right?”

Jeanne enlaced her fingers with hers and looked to her right from the other side of the café table.

“Yeah. It’s fine enough.”

But there was something wrong with it all, a lingering tension between them. Perhaps they knew that, deep inside, there was a third part to the triangle who was nowhere to be found…?

“…I thought you liked Christiane, though,” Jeanne told her with the upmost seriousness.

“I do. But, like… don’t you too?”

They sighed.

“Love’s bullshit. She’s straight as a broomstick.”

Christiane had a very big disaster to deal with, right now.

She was in love with a girl, that was already a big deal on its own. Her brother would certainly tell their parents, and her parents already didn’t approve of her dating a guy, what would they think of her dating another girl? She had never thought of herself as a bi disaster, but that was a thing she was now, apparently. Before she knew it, she craved reading girls’ love manga and wanted to sleep in the same bed as Raphaëlle… and perhaps do more than sleeping in there. She wanted to hold hands and do girlfriend things with her, go on romantic dates, giving flowers and getting given flowers, making her nails and brushing her soft locks between her fingers… Yeah, she totally wanted to date Rapha, that much was sure.

But then came in Jeanne.

She saw it coming: Jeanne and Rapha were obviously in love and meant to be, from her perspective, and she had no chance of ever dating Rapha would Jeanne remain in the picture. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to hate Jeanne and push her away like a threat to her relationship with Rapha: instead, she surprised herself by wanting to date the blonde and the brunette at the same time, thinking to herself she had two hands, but… That was dumb, and kinda dirty to do. You can’t date two persons at the same time, especially if it’d essentially be smashing into two girlfriends’ relationship. What if she was a third wheel to them? What if any of the two was the third wheel to the two others?

That’d be a disaster, so she sulked in her room, alone, responding to text messages when she wasn’t too busy daydreaming about what could be.

Christiane, as always, had slipped on her own clumsiness and confessed to her two best friends that she wanted to kiss them both passionately after getting jealous of both of them for dating the other… while getting kind of turned on by watching them peck each other in her back. The sense of secrecy and forbidden love was, she couldn’t deny that, a guilty pleasure of hers and she was totally down to be a side hoe when seeing this.

The stares Jeanne and Raphaëlle were giving her would have been priceless would she have not been on the receiving end of said stares. Instead, she just wanted to bury herself in a hole.

The silence ensuing was thick, almost unbearable because of how much it smothered them all. The tension was real, and the atmosphere only suffered in consequence.

“Well, in a way,” Jeanne spoke up first, shortly after gulping, “that kinda solves all our issues.”

“How so?! Fuckin’ hell,” Christiane screamed on the top of her squeezed lungs, “now I feel like I’ve ruined our friendship and it’s gonna go to hell!”

“H-huh,” Raphaëlle didn’t dare speaking out too loud, “Jeanne’s right, please let us explain…”

Christiane instantly shut up and got all stiff. Oops, she had done goofed again.

“When we say that, it’s because, well… I don’t think it was likely by any mean, but it seems like we’re all crushing on each other, and in the end this is all one giant fuckpile,” Jeanne sighed as she looked on the side.

“…oh.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of a stretch, but this is how things are,” Rapha continued. “Jeanne and I spoke about that before.”

“And, what do we do now?” Christiane asked with all the curiosity and anxiety in the world.

“We all date each other, I guess,” Jeanne deadpanned, shrugging.

“Wait, we can do that?!”

“Yeah, we can, it’s called a polyamory triad.”

Christiane’s eyes started sparkling, but it was too good to be true.

“And, like, that’s allowed? It’s not, like, crashing into your couple and stuff?”

“Nah, as long as everyone consents, I don’t see the issue.”

“Oh. That’s great, then!”

Jeanne gave the two other girls both her hands.

“Deal?”

Raphaëlle took the first one in hers.

“We were already there, it can’t be that different. Deal!”

Christiane followed through.

“Deal!!”

As “Everytime We Touch” started playing in the background ambiance of the little café on Dunkirk Street, they all discovered they were disaster Sapphics, but at least, they were disaster Sapphics together. They could work this thing through, right?

#femslash #femslash feb 2019 #Original Work #my writing #pdv #raphaëlle garionne #jeanne moutard #christiane xone #rapjeacri #rapjea #jeacri #rapcri #the memiest entry yet

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jemariel · 6 years

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Baby’s First Fic Rec List

Well Hello There! Somehow I made it to 366 followers!! I intended to do this celebration for 350 but, y’know, life, holidays.... So here it is now!

I haven’t been around this fandom very long, but I have never felt so at home and welcomed by a fandom. I’ve also spent the last year or so reading Destiel fic like it was my calling, my passion, my civic duty. Fun fact: when you dive into a fandom with 12 years of accumulated fanfic, there’s a deep deep well to draw from.....

And so, in honor of 350(ish) followers and my first year(ish) with this fandom, I present to you this list of recommendations! Just some faves and things I enjoyed reading . All are Destiel. Most are smutty. Mix of canonverse and AU, fluff and grit, plot and silliness. Some preference given to fics with fewer hits/kudos/comments than I think they deserve.

Happy reading!

....The Non-Smut....

mistletoe & peppermint cocoa by navylights Rated T 5.5k Summary: Cas and Dean are on a mission: to pick up the perfect Christmas tree for their first Christmas with everyone alive and well.And while Cas and Dean are out shopping, and buying cocoa on a snowy afternoon, a certain meddling younger brother is putting up mistletoe in the bunker.(Or, the absurdly fluffy Christmas carols/cocoa/mistletoe/tree decorating/Christmas lights fic of your dreams)

Dean Winchester’s Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Rated T 11.2k Summary: Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas... (Reccer’s note: It’s kind of rare to see really excellent extended-cast ensemble work in fanfic. But this? This is that.)

Raisin D’etre by starsinursa Rated G 1.1k Summary: Apparently, Castiel hates raisins. (Reccer’s note: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING ON TWO LEGS.)

....Absolute Faves.....

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix Rated E 40k Summary: Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves. (Reccer’s note: Don’t let the premise squick you. This is very CLEARLY a Destiel story, in spite of Sam’s front row seat. I love all the relationships in this fic, Sam and Dean’s brotherly antagonizing/affection, Sam and Cas’s growing friendship, Cas and Dean’s straining, passionate adoration. All three of them are superbly written, but Cas especially. This also has some of the most scorchingly hot not-quite-sex ever written. Seriously. How can something be so fucking hot when everyone’s wearing two layers of clothing? Beats me.)

Rock ‘n’ Roll Queer Bar (series) by ChasingRabbits Rated E 126.7k Summary: Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without. (Reccer’s note: The description doesn’t really do this series justice. This is the most realistic and beautifully and believably written long-term relationship I have ever read. They go through so much together, and they do it all TOGETHER. It’s beautiful. I devoured this in a day and a half, then went right back to the beginning and read it all over again. It’s Just. That. Good.)

Lots more under the cut!

....Shorts....

Angel-Mine by reluctant Rated E 4.3k Summary: Cas exhaled. "When an angel's wings are injured," he said to his feet, "the healing process can be augmented by… grooming, I suppose, would be the most accurate word. Removal of the maimed feathers to allow growth of healthy ones. Otherwise, they're left to fall out alone." He tilted his head towards the nightstand. "As you see." Dean stared at him. "So… that's why I can't help?" he said slowly. "'Cause I can't, y'know… see 'em? Or touch 'em?" "Yes," Cas said, slightly too quickly, and Dean snorted. "You're still a shitty liar, Cas," he informed him. "What ain't you tellin' me?"

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons Rated E 6.1k Summary: post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards." Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.

Angelus Domini by xylodemon Rated E 3.2k Summary: "You're a fucking dick," Dean says, right to God's face. (Reccer’s note: In which Dean and Sam gain some heavenly grace and Dean and Cas don’t waste any time at all.)

we can watch the white doves go by xylodemon Rated E 2.7k Summary: "Wait," Dean says, just as the door snicks closed. It comes out as barely whisper; he clears his throat and tries again, a little louder this time. "Cas, I -- wait."

Oh! Darling! by castielsdemons Rated M 6.6k Summary: Now that Castiel has fallen, Dean wants to let him know how much he cares about him. And if it takes two or three (or eight) tries to get it right, then so be it. Or, the seven times Dean tried to tell Cas he loves him and the one time he actually got it right.

....Mid-length....

The Curious Case of Dean’s Missing Libido by thejabberwock Rated E 7k Summary: It’s been weeks since Castiel told Dean he loves him. Weeks since Dean answered him with a kiss. It’s been weeks, and they haven’t had sex.

Pronoun yourself out of this one, Dean by zation Rated E 11k Summary: When Dean gets hit by a gender-swapping witch spell it not so fun for anyone, until it’s kinda fun. Or, The one where Dean gets to discover a whole lot of new things. Like what nice hands Cas has, for instance.

Freckles by 2spooky4u Rated E 7k Summary: "I had to draw all them perfectly," Cas insists, and Dean suddenly can't get rid of the image of Cas, clutching on to a Crayola washable marker, jamming it into his skin forcefully like a little kid mashes his markers on the paper in a vehement attempt to make the color deeper. "And now you're insulted 'cause I don't appreciate 'em?" Dean asks, bewildered. "No," Cas lies petulantly. "Huh." The stubborn child version of Cas Dean has painted in his mind is now clutching his paper possessively, shielding it from scrutiny.They drive in silence for a while. "Thank you for making my freckles," Dean grouses finally, knowing that it's the only way Cas will forgive him. ((((OR, IN WHICH CAS LIKES DEAN AND HIS FRECKLES, AND DEAN IS STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXUAL))))

Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture by almaasi Rated E 10.4k Summary: Sam's been through a lot lately, what with tonight's hunt rendering his skin an aching shade of purple and all. He can deal with Dean being overly concerned about Cas' broken finger, and - God help him - he puts up with the sound of their preposterously soppy love confessions and first kisses on the adjacent bed. But he cannot be expected to remain silent and feign sleep throughout the entire duration of their first-ever lovemaking session. He just can't. Especially not, because it seems apparent that Cas is more intent on deflowering himself than letting Dean do it.

The Things We Did (But Never Spoke Of) (series) by BadassCompany Rated E 17.9k Summary: Now and then, when there is quiet from the bloodshed and chaos of the world, I think of Dean Winchester. About the things we did; beautiful, glorious, rough skin and wet lips; but never spoke of. He didn't want to talk, only to feel, and I didn't know what to say. ~A partially complete series of canon compliant smutty oneshots.~

worthy by jad Rated E 14.8k Summary: "... you wanna what, now?" Dean asks, because he definitely didn't hear that right.Castiel tilts his head, a leftover tick from his angel days that Dean would be lying if he claimed to find anything but idiotically endearing. He knows this is his own fault, owing to that rather memorable moment a week ago when Cas wandered into this very same kitchen with a (fairly) legitimate question and Dean just didn't know when to shut up.

The Adventures of Real Anal Sex (Starring Dean and Castiel) by tiptoe39 Rated E 9.7k Summary: This is how it really happened. Because this is how it really happens. Thanks for the tweet, Astroglide -- product placement is now yours! (Reccer’s note: Adding some of the relevant tags: Awkward Sexual Situations, yes people go to the bathroom in this fic. Butt stuff ain’t always Harlequin Romance perfect, but honestly? It’s better that way.)

Go with the Flow by starsinursa Rated E 7.6k Summary: The smug bastard obviously think he’s won this argument, because there’s no way Dean is following him into a yoga class. The day Dean starts saluting the sun and humming ‘om’ under his breath like he’s part of some creepy hive mind like the Borg Collective, well, he might as well just start making his own potpourri and frequenting vegan bakeries, too. Not gonna happen.So yeah, Cas is right, damn him. There’s no way in hell Dean is following him into a yoga class. There’s no way. There’s no way –- ahhh, fuck. Fuck it all.

....Novellas/Novels....

Oxymora by thejabberwock Rated E 27.6k Summary: Good things don’t happen to Dean, so he’s not even surprised when Cas tells him he misunderstood the I love you. (Reccer’s note: This hurts so good. The payoff is worth the pain. Warning for Dean/others.)

riptides by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 39.9k, WIP Summary: “I’m going to kiss you now.” Cas pauses, giving Dean a chance to back out, but Dean just licks his lips and waits. Cas’s mouth is up against Dean’s for a couple seconds before Dean responds, and then it’s Cas that’s being kissed senseless, because kissing is definitely not something Dean does tentatively. Dean reaches up to cup Cas’s jaw in his hand, tilting his head for a better angle, mouth plush, tasting like whiskey. Cas tries to remember what it was like the first time he kissed a man. All-encompassing, the world jerking off its axis, the feel of stubble under his fingers intense in a way it never really is with women, as much as he loves them.

Cabin Fever by Dangerousnotbroken Rated E 35k Summary: Due to a romantic-comedy level booking blunder, grumpy stress-case Dean and reclusive writer Castiel end up shuttled off to the same remote cabin for two weeks, and nobody seems to care that neither of them wants to be there. But since they’re stuck in the same cabin for the duration of their vacation, they might as well play nice and make the best of it right? Wrong. Dean’s so stressed out he can’t sit still, Cas can’t boil water without setting the place on fire, and they’re so on each other’s nerves it’ll be a miracle if either of them survives until their rides home arrive. At least the tension is just social, and not sexual, right? Right?

traveling light by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 42.8k Summary: Cas is, impossibly, far more gorgeous in person, and he’s taller than Dean expected, and he moves with this casual grace that makes Dean’s brain short circuit.So Dean thinks he probably looks a little like a deer in the headlights when Cas catches his eyes from the door of the restaurant. He breaks out into a smile, the full, wide one that never came out in his pictures, and Dean actually goes weak in the knees. “Cas,” Dean says.“Hello, Dean,” Cas says. (Reccer’s note: Cas is FtM trans in this story and it gives me... so many feels.)

What Once Was Sacred by saltandbyrne Rated E 55.8k Summary: Los Angeles detective Dean Winchester works tirelessly to atone for the sins of his father one case at a time. When his best friend Charlie drags him to visit Sam at his new job, Dean stumbles onto a bizarre string of deaths that brings him uncomfortably close to his past.Dean can't stop thinking about Castiel, an enigmatic DJ who plays the sexiest music Dean's ever heard. A chance encounter at Castiel's house reveals that Castiel is an incubus, and Dean must face the lies and the reality of his childhood as a hunter. Dean comes to see that he and Castiel have more in common than he thought, and that guilt can be the hardest thing to cast aside.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by beenghosting Rated E 22.4k Summary: This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. (Reccer’s note: Warning for angst.)

PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire, orange_crushed Rated M 82.5k Summary: he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything (Reccer’s note: Warning for fluff.)

Strangers on a Bus by Terene Rated E 59.7k Summary: Castiel is flummoxed. This is a social situation he is not equipped to handle. What is the protocol when the stranger sitting next to you on a bus, whom you incidentally find very attractive, falls asleep with his head on your shoulder?

And now, a Shameless Self Endorsement. Hope you stop by. ^__^

I’ve tagged a few authors here whose tumblrs I’m familiar with so @starsinursa @thejabberwock @xylodemon @reallyelegantsharkfish you’re in there! Many hearts to you, thanks for sharing your talents.

Others who might appreciate: @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @saawek @sactownbrowns3 @rosemoonweaver @woahthisguy @suckerfordeansfreckles @rosemoonweaver @cas-essence @yourspecialeyes @yeneffersalamander @naruhearts @bae-in-a-trenchcoat @bend-me-shape-me @babyinthetrench @gneisscastiel @deaneatscake @silvie111 @jhoomwrites @tankewinchester @paperwhitenarcissus @thedogsled @helianthus21 @weathergirl83 @ltleflrt

#fic recs #destiel fanfic #fanfiction #destiel fic rec #other people's fanfiction #to read #want to read #follower celebration #fanfic rec list #destiel fanfiction #destiel fic

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queer-anime-girls-blog · 6 years

Text

Freezerburn Headcanons Pt.1

So I just went through @shaevira ‘s entire freezerburn tag like the creeper newbie I am (expect queued art posts for the next several days) and I saw she had asked for headcanons a while back, so -- despite my newness -- I’m gonna offer a couple of my suddenly overpowering wholesome fantasies preliminary thoughts on the matter! In the form of quick ficlet-type things!

#1- V3 Finale (a.k.a. Give Me This as a Flashback PLEASE)

Yang is sleeping on a makeshift bed. There are fresh bandages on what’s left of her dominant arm. Ruby is unconscious on the bed next to her. They’ve just landed safely in the city, and a flood of ashen, shaken passengers are beginning to disembark the airship.

Weiss is standing hesitantly in the doorway of the cramped compartment the sisters are being kept in. Her eyes are frightened and confused as she assesses Ruby’s apparently undamaged body. Weiss begins remembering standing at the base of the tower, seeing the blinding flash of silver light, hearing the dragon scream in agony. No one will tell her what it was, why it happened, how Ruby survived it, when she’ll wake up...

Weiss’s eyes move over to Yang’s body. Just then, Yang begins murmuring in her sleep, disturbed little noises, whispering “no please don’t hurt her” without waking. And then Yang’s left hand begins to shake on top of the sheets.

Weiss’s breath hitches with a barely-contained sob. A single tear leaks out and traces the prominent line of the scar beneath her eye, but she savagely wipes it away. She feels broken and useless. But she sucks in enough air to brace herself, and drops down on her knees next to Yang’s bed to gently shake her awake.

“Yang, wake up,” she whispers as Yang finally begins to stir. “You’re having a bad dream.”

Yang turns her head towards Weiss’s voice and opens her eyes, but the purple hue of them looks dull and cold.

“We’re living a bad dream,” Yang retorts flatly.

Weiss doesn’t know how to respond to that, and she hesitates awkwardly before continuing. “Well. The ship just landed. I wanted to say goodbye to both of you.”

Some feeling flickers back into Yang’s eyes. “Goodbye?”

“I’ve received word that my father has some employees waiting to intercept me in the city and take me to a safehouse. He’ll be arriving personally soon after that to escort me home.”

“... Oh.”

“... Yeah.”

“Well. Then, I guess I’ll, um. See you soon.”

“Perhaps. I mean, I certainly hope so, but...”

Weiss doesn’t finish that sentence. They both know how uncertain the world will be for a long time. After that, neither of them really know what to say, or how to look at each other, or whether to offer a comforting touch, so they don’t.

“Is Blake around?” Yang asks after a tense silence.

Something inside Weiss tightens unpleasantly. Of course Yang would care more about speaking to Blake than to her, even though this might be the last time they ever see each other. Of course.

“No. But I imagine she’s somewhere on board still, if you haven’t seen her yet. I tried to talk to her while someone was tending to her stomach wound, but... you know Blake. When she wants to shut you out, there’s no way in.”

Yang frowns darkly. “Yeah, I do know.”

“After she was done being bandaged she swept off somewhere. I didn’t try to follow, but I saw Sun run off after her. He’ll know where she went.” Weiss pauses and lets her gaze flicker miserably back to Ruby. “Did someone tell you when she might wake up?”

Yang turns to look at Ruby as well, and her voice goes softer. “Qrow said it might be a few days. But she’ll be fine. I promise.”

“That’s... such a relief. Thank you,” Weiss sighs. “But, um. Will you be fine?”

Their eyes meet again.

“Weiss,” Yang says, instead of answering. She almost manages a ghost of a smile as she adds, “I’ll miss you.”

Something that had been coiled up tight in Weiss’s chest without her realizing it suddenly loosens. “I’ll miss you too,” she breathes.

It still doesn’t feel like a good enough parting, somehow. Weiss’s hand twitches like it wants to reach out and touch -- but what? A shoulder? A cheek?

Before her hand can decide what it wants, two men in white suits appear to insistently guide her away.

#2- Yang’s Hair (a.k.a. Bring This Back as a Plot Point PLEASE)

Weiss knows exactly what Yang’s hair feels like now. Maybe that’s a strange thing to be fixating on when there’s so much else to think about, so many other things she has recently discovered about the world. But late at night, in the room she’s sharing with Yang, she watches surreptitiously as Yang brushes out her long, golden locks, and remembers how the silky waves felt under her desperately clinging fingers. How they smelled, so close to Yang’s neck, as Weiss buried her face in it. Like warm, honeyed porridge, and flowers, and fresh sweat...

And every time Weiss thinks about that -- confusingly -- her cheeks heat up, and she forces herself to focus on her own pre-sleep rituals.

Why does her mind keep returning her to the memory of that hug? It didn’t really last that much longer than the hug she shared with both Yang and Ruby soon afterwards. It wasn’t that much more intense or comforting. Was it?

Regardless, it was the first time she could remember feeling Yang’s hair. And maybe that sort of seemed like a big deal because Yang never let just anyone touch it.

“May I play with your hair?” she blurts without thinking, and is mortified before she’s even finished saying it.

“Why?” Yang asks, turning and raising surprised eyebrows. She sits her brush down on the bed beside her thigh. “Are you trying to convince me to change my style, or do you just... want to?”

Weiss forgets how to swallow like a normal human under Yang’s questioning, vaguely-amused gaze. She thinks about huffing or harrumphing, considers recovering her facade of dignity with a denial and a cutting remark. But, really, she’s so over putting on an act in front of Yang. Especially when they’re alone together. Especially now that she knows how good and safe if feels to let herself be soft and vulnerable with Yang...

“I just want to,” Weiss forces out, and it’s maybe the hardest thing she’s ever had to say for some reason. “... May I?”

Yang lets out a bark of delighted laughter, but quickly stifles it and glances at the closed door. Weiss is certain they’re both thinking the same thing in that moment: better not laugh too loudly, or Ruby will wake up, and she’ll probably want to come in here...

As soon as Weiss processes the thought, she feels hyper aware of the fact that neither of them seem to want their alone time interrupted, even by someone they’ve both missed a lot as well. That’s weird, isn’t it? She feels like she should feel weirder about it than she does.

“Go ahead, Weiss. Go wild,” Yang says softly, grinning broadly.

It takes a beat for Weiss to remember Yang is answering the question about her hair.

She hesitates, perched gracefully on the edge of her own bed with her ankles crossed and her hands knotted in her lap. But she smirks as she finds the knee-strength to stand. “Do you really want to give me that much license with it?”

“I trust you. I mean, your hair always looks all shiny and elegant, so...go for it.”

Yang shrugs, still grinning, and cocks her head to the side invitingly. Weiss wonders if Yang knows how unintentionally alluring she can be sometimes. Or most times, really. Practically always, to be totally honest.

... Oh gods.

Feeling a bit dazed and more than a bit apprehensive, Weiss moves determinedly to fit herself on the slice of mattress between Yang and the wall. The amount of their skin that brushes together as she slides into place is mildly alarming for reasons she is entirely unprepared to confront, so she shoves those feelings into a box in her mind labeled 'maybe panic about this later' and focuses all of her attention on the blonde cascade right in front of her face.

She begins gently, just stroking her fingers from root to tip in a slow, soothing rhythm. Yang sighs, like she’s pleased or relaxed or both, and Weiss gets bolder. Her fingers dig in deep -- to rub Yang’s scalp, or curl strands around experimentally, or to measure out sections for braids that will be quickly undone. All of it feels amazing to Weiss, and the longer she does it the more Yang tries to melt back into Weiss’s chest.

“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Weiss chides, but she adjusts her arms so she can continue to comb through Yang’s hair without having a comfortable amount of space between them.

Yang snorts. “Sorry. I think I was entering a strange half-dream state.”

“A half-dream?”

“Yeah. I was imagining us sitting just like this on my bike. The rumble of the engine is kinda relaxing, too. I dunno. Weird association, I guess.”

“It’s not weird. I liked being on your bike. I felt... safe. With you. But... I suppose that wasn’t really because of the bike.”

“Yeah,” Yang replies, quiet and sweet.

They don’t say anything after that. It’s not long before Yang lies down on her side without a word. Weiss knows she doesn’t have to go back to her own bed if she doesn’t want to.

She decides -- with another quickly-compartmentalized wave of panic -- that what she really, really wants is to stay and keep stroking Yang’s hair until they both fall asleep.

So she does.

#freezerburn #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #rwby

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edream93 · 6 years

Note

Please write a prompt where Harry is from Auradon and Uma is from the Isle and they fall in love at first sight but Uma doesn't know at first, and Harry keep following her around and asking her out, (he is really smooth and as thirsty as in the movie) but something bad happens and she saves him with a true love kiss.

So, dear anon. I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that this is not finished. The good news is that this is not finished because I want to turn this into a short multi-oneshot, so essentially there will be more parts of this AU that will be added. (I might even post it a version of this on AO3, not sure yet).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! There’s no kiss (that’ll come later) but I hope you still like!

Part 1 of ?

–

The first time Harry saw her, he knew that in another life, he would have followed her to the edges of the world and beyond.

He found it remarkable how such a tiny girl stood out amongst the vibrant and eccentric group of children from the Isle that the prince had brought over. While Ben went on and on, reciting words Harry had heard so many times the days before during his oldest friend’s nervous pacing, and while Audrey glared daggers at the daughter of Maleficent, the son of Auradon’s most decorated Royal Navy Admiral, Killian Jones (though still fondly known as “Captain Hook” after the devious widely wanted fae-child Pan took one of his hands before his reign of terror on Neverland was put to an end with eternal sleep) was captivated by a scowling girl with braided hair the color of crashing waves who stood apart from the children of Cruella, Jafar, the Evil Queen, and Maleficent, with only the muscled blonde who had been introduced as youngest son of Gaston standing anywhere near her.

All too soon, Ben’s introduction speech was over and one hand of Audrey’s pink manicured nails were digging into his arms as she locked one of her arms with his and the other with Ben’s, expecting to be escorted, as she always had since they were children; escorted by the future High King of the United Stated of Auradon and the future Admiral of the King’s Royal Navy. Harry glanced over his shoulder as they led the new transfer students into Auradon Prep, startled when deep brown eyes met with his, pulling him into them, like the moon pulled the tides, promising to drown him in their depths. (And oh how willing he was to drown for her…)

“What are you looking at, Harry?” Audrey hissed pulling his attention back to reality as they passed King Adam’s beastly statue and stepped into the school.

“Just the sight of a beautiful lady,” he said honestly, giving her a boyish grin that had her both rolling her eyes and blushing before turning her attention back to Ben who seemed to be failing as well to keep his eyes off of a certain daughter of Maleficent. (It wasn’t a lie. Audrey, as expected, had just assumed he meant her, harmless flirt that he was.)

As the son of Dopey was introduced, Audrey and the daughter of Maleficent glared daggers back at each other, Ben trying to keep the delicate peace while the other children of the Isle poked and prodded around their new surroundings. Harry tried to be discreet as he watched the daughter of Ursula look around with what appeared to be boredom at everything the son of Gaston excitedly pointed at, her voice low as she murmured something back that the boy listened to, confusion clearly on his face before he chuckled, startling the De Vil boy once again into the arms of Jafar’s son. Harry wanted to know what she had said that was so funny, to have her gaze on him once again. To be the one to make her laugh…

Sharp brown eyes once again connected with his and it was then that Harry knew. He knew that in another life, he would have followed her to the edges of the world and beyond. And as Audrey pulled him and Ben away in a huff, leaving Doug to take over the task of giving these children of villains the remaining tour of the school, he caught a glimpse of a wicked little smirk that was quickly hidden by the cover of teal and white braids and that’s when he really knew: He would follow Uma of the Isle, daughter of Ursula to the edges of the earth and beyond even in this life as well…

—-

She wouldn’t lie (for once), he was quite a looker with his sharp jawline and bright blue eyes that were the color that she always imagined the sea to be before she left the Isle: expressive and not to be underestimated.

However, though she usually wouldn’t mind (usually would actually enjoy) the way Mal’s face twisted into some mix of disgust and constipation every time he came around with some pitiful excuse or another to talk to Ursula’s bastard daughter, Uma hated the way he looked at her, hated how he looked like he’s actually interested in the words that come from the mouth of a pathetic sea-witch’s daughter. (Not even Gil was that attentive to her and they had been friends since Uma saved him from drowning when they were six. His brothers had thought it would be funny to tie cement bricks to his feet before pushing him into the deep water near the docks. “His name is Gil! Shouldn’t he be able to swim with the fishes?” they had cackled after the young girl had dragged the slightly bigger boy back onto the docks, seaweed clinging to her hair.)

And most importantly, and this was probably the most crucial reason why Uma of the Isle hated the son of the famous “Captain Hook” so much: the way he says her name, like he’s uttering something precious, like it’s something that should be remembered and cherished when even her own mother can’t remember her only daughter’s name half the time…

She hated it. She hated him. And she hated herself because she knows those are all lies she tells herself because she can’t imagine…can’t allow someone to get that close to her after Mal’s betrayal…

“Hey! Stop dreaming about Sailor Pretty Boy and pay attention, Shrimpy!” Mal hissed, bringing Uma crashing back to cruel reality, located in the dorm room that Carlos, Jay, and Gil shared.

Gil gave her a worried look once Mal rolled her eyes returned back to going over the plan of getting the wand. Well…the newest plan. The first attempt had failed at the museum and though Mal had apparently lowered the defensives of Fairy Godmother’s painfully shy daughter, not much headway had been made in the two weeks that they had been stuck in Auradon with no wand to show their parents.

“This is ridiculous,” Uma sighed softly under her breath.

“I’m sorry,” Mal suddenly stopped once again, arms crossed over her chest. “Am I boring you, Shrimpy? Got something better to do, Shrimpy?”

“Yes,” she wanted to say but Uma wasn’t stupid. Despite the bad blood between her and Mal, there was strength in numbers and here, on the other side of the barrier, she would rather trust the devil she knew than the sparkly pastel colored devils with too bright smiles here. “I was just thinking about that silly little princess that’s always clinging onto the prince. How ridiculous it is that she could ever think she be any good at being queen.”

Jay’s face is unreadable, sizing her up as he stood in his best intimidating pose next to Mal, prepared to move at the girl’s order; Carlos head is tilted, nose scrunched up as if Uma’s an equation he’s not sure what to do with just yet, hands fiddling nervously with a cell phone Jay had stolen for him to take apart and put back together; Evie is biting her lip, still fresh from being Castle-schooled, not completely accustomed to hiding her thoughts, her anxiety, how much she actually likes it here; and Mal is looking down at Uma as if she just stepped into the shit of the dog that now followed Carlos around.

Luckily, even when he was unintentionally trying, Gil always came through for Uma as a loud growling sound was heard. “Uh…is it time for dinner, now?” he asked.

Mal sighed, massaging her temples before making a shooing motion with her hand that was all the permission Uma needed to take Gil’s wrist and drag him out of the room as if a dragon was just behind them (and technically, there was).

Once outside of the dorms and outside where the day was slowly bleeding out, Uma let out a relieved sigh, letting go of Gil. “Go on, get your dinner,” she nodded towards the dining hall that wasn’t too far off.

“You’re not coming?” he asked confused, not understanding how anyone could pass up the endless buffet of food that the school provided. “We don’t have to sit with Mal and the others if you don’t want to,” he said partially reading her correctly, something that Uma greatly appreciated though she would never acknowledge it out right to him. But Mal and her crew weren’t the only one she was trying to avoid in the dining hall.

“Nah,” Uma murmured, shaking her head. “Part of your angle of this stupid plan is to get close to the cheerleaders and the Tourney players with Jay and Carlos to see if they know of a way to get the wand. I’ll just put people off with the shrimp smell,” she sighed waving her hand in the direction of her braided hair that sometimes, at the most randomest of times, still gave off a shrimpy odor despite how many times she had washed it with any hair products she and Gil could manage to find.

Gil looked as if he was going to try for the umpteenth time to convince her that the smell wasn’t bad, that it was honestly hardly noticeable, but the growling of his stomach and the glare that his friend gave him left no room for argument.

“I’ll save you something,” he gave a little grin over his shoulder as he turned towards the dinning hall. “Meet you later at our spot in the book house?”

Uma bit her lip, trying to hold back a laugh. “You mean our spot in the library? Yeah. I’ll be there working on both of our essays.”

Gil grinned, walking backwards and giving her a thumbs up before he turned back around and jogged towards where food was.

Uma sighed, shouldering her bag she thankfully remembered to snag as they made their escape from the others and about to turn towards the direction of the library before a taller figure saddled from out of the shadows up close to her, sliding her bag off of her shoulder effortlessly and onto his. Uma didn’t even blink. Afterall, he had been doing chivalrous crap like this basically since she stepped foot in Auradon. She should have been upset that he found her so predictable to know that she would try to avoid going to the dining hall just so they wouldn’t run into each other. There were a lot of things that Uma should be doing at the moment to get away with him, to not form connections with someone she was going to ultimately betray once they got the wand, but right now, as Harry “Hook” Jones’s hand lifted her hand to his lips in a greeting that felt so natural to them both - expressive eyes that held wonder, mischief, and unfounded adoration never leaving hers - all those things were forgotten.

There were no thoughts of Mal or wands or drunk mothers who would never be satisfied. All that was there was a girl and a boy and the storm that was brewing stronger and stronger between them. So strong that Uma thought she would never be able to breathe again…

“What kept ya so long, darlin’?”

And she was perfectly fine with that.

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