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#i need to stop posting though need to keep things to myself lol
amorphousea · 1 year
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guess i gotta just embrace the mysteries 🤷‍♀️
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reenaria · 11 months
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currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny#and primarily attracted to women in general#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear#reena.txt
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vesora · 1 year
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all you got to do is sit there and look pretty: loa edition
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DISCLAIMER: this was written before a series of realisations, the main point still stands but the subconscious mind does not exist. it is simply awareness. let go and let god.
one thing i have noticed, even in myself, is that we have this need to keep doing something. i need to keep affirming, i need to keep forcing myself into a state, i need to keep focusing on my thoughts or else it won’t manifest. all these thoughts have a common link, a fear of not manifesting, or rather, the 3D not conforming. 
it’s not our fault. we have been primed to think this way. work this hard and you’ll get (x). this is not the way it’s supposed to be. with the law, we break free. 
i need you to know that it’s okay if you’re consciously not thinking from your desire all the time. it’s okay that you don’t feel okay with entering another state if this one is too traumatic for you. relax and know the you on the outside, does not manifest.
who manifests then?
our inner self; our subconscious mind. our subconscious mind is us, but unlike our conscious selves, it is also the Universal Mind, meaning it knows all, it has all knowledge and power stored inside it. our job is to give the subconscious mind a job. as the conscious mind, we hold the key to decide to let what the subcon should manifest and not. we are the guard, we don’t manifest. 
all we really have to do is be still and let God, and by God i do not mean some external being, i mean our subconscious mind; our true self. letting go and detaching doesn’t mean you will stop caring about what you’re manifesting, it simply means that you know that the subconscious will handle it for you. because the subconscious IS you, it’s a robot that only listens to YOUR command. it cannot be influenced by any other force. 
experience 
for the past few days, when i made the unfavourable circumstances post, i was feeling so incredibly awful. i felt i had no reason to live, because i thought me as the conscious sora, was responsible for changing my life. while that is true to an extent, all i have to do is give an order. i told my subconscious mind that night to fix everything for me because i was tired and the next day, all the things that were causing me distress got solved. the next day i had an even better day, because the subconscious really fixed the things causing me stress. life was peaceful again.
it was then i realised that i have been too attached with doing things right, when all i had to do was sit there and look pretty while my subconscious does the work. 
another success happened just now! my browser froze and i didnt save this post. i panicked for a second then i was like “sora you just wrote a post about your subcon fixing things”; so i told my subcon “hey man fix this pls” and it did! lol browser is back to normal which is how ur seeing this post rn
what if my subconscious doesn’t listen?
anything that happens regarding these things is a direct reflection of you. inner creates outer, not the other way around. so, any failure is not because the technique failed, it’s because you haven’t changed self yet. and what changes self? persistence. you must keep persisting because the subconcious HAS NO CHOICE but to listen to you. if it ‘doesn’t’, DON’T ACCEPT IT. 
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persistence
And He said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Luke 11:5-9
in this verse that neville also referenced, we can see that the man did not give up. in fact, importunity means: the act of making intrusions, being unrelenting, consistent. unrelenting, he never took no for an answer. he kept going and going and going until the man decided to give him bread. do not take no for an answer. do not settle. even if the door seems shut, you will ALWAYS be the key to open it; there is no other choice. keep telling your subconscious mind that you are rich, you are beautiful, you are everything and your subconscious mind will have no choice but to reflect that onto the 3D because that is its job.
excerpt from power of awareness:
“THERE ARE three principal characters in this quotation, you and the two friends mentioned.
The first friend is a desired state of consciousness .
The second friend is a desire seeking fulfillment.
Three is the symbol of wholeness, completion.
Loaves symbolize substance.
The shut door symbolizes the senses which separate the seen from the unseen.
Children in bed means ideas that are dormant.
Inability to rise means a desired state of consciousness cannot rise to you, you must rise to it.
Importunity means demanding persistency, a kind of brazen impudence.
Ask, seek, and knock mean assuming the consciousness of already having what you desire.
Thus the scriptures tell you that you must persist in rising to (assuming) the consciousness of your wish already being fulfilled. The promise is definite that if you are shameless in your impudence in assuming that you already have that which your senses deny, it shall be given unto you – your desire shall be attained.”
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hoshigray · 1 year
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˗ˏˋ Summertime ⛱ Madness ˎˊ˗
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Dear Diary...summer is finally here, and you're ready to spend it all with your best buds — Itadori, Megumi, and Nobara! Because the season is meant to be eventful, no? Though, how eventful? You already have plans with your friends to make every day count...Yet, so much has happened this summer that you NEED to write it all down! Especially since five men, in particular, have put you through a complete whirlwind of a summer...
Collector's Note: Hi, hello!! This is my first time doing something like this, but to commemorate getting 1k followers (tysm!!), I felt this would be a fun way to celebrate!! These entries will be posted throughout the summer (with dates provided), so keep your eyes open for when a diary entry opens! They can be read as standalone fics, but some (2-3) may be linked with one another. And no, they are not gonna be in first-person, only for this post as a sort of introduction to the pieces, lol. And FYI: these adorable sea-themed dividers are made by the wonderful remi (@cafekitsune), whose dividers I use non-stop!! Thank you sm for the dividers as always, remi, love what you do sm!!
Diary Status: ongoing!!
Word of caution: fem!reader - modern AU - age differences (the reader is at least in their 20s; the guys' ages will be specified in their respective fics for convenience's sake) - explicit content/nsfw so minors DNI - mentions of alcohol/drug use - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - taboo (consensual sex b/w professor/undergrad; a friend's relative) - size differences - one night stands - be sure to read the content warnings (cw) to fully grasp what each fic will contain before reading!
Intrigued readers: wanna be tagged when an entry is posted? Lmk in the replies plz!
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✎﹏﹏﹏ 📖 Y/n's Diary Entries 📖 ﹏﹏﹏✎
Dear Nanami Kento... ༄ My Professor's Final Spring Praise
Entry Narrative: Before my summer break officially started, I had to finish my last in-person exam with Professor Nanami. It was so tough, but I made it through! I was the last to leave, so I thanked the professor and shared some final words before heading to my dorm to finish packing up. However, how do a few gratitude and praise exchanges end up with me on his desk and him between my legs? Contents: professor! Nanami x fem! reader - explicit content so minors DNI - taboo (consensual sex b/w a professor & undergrad) - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Nanami approaching early 30s) - fingering (fem! receiving) - cunnilingus - semi-missionary position (reader lies on their back on a table while Nanami stands) - public sex/sex in a university classroom - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - pining if you squint - praise - pet names (baby, darling, love, sweet pea) - clitoral play (licking and sucking) - kissing/makeout sessions. Completion: July 3rd (Nanami + my bday :DD so I better see y'all wish me and my hubby a hbd or this shit isn't getting released >:T)
Dear Satoru Gojo... ༄ Sweet Blind Summer Fling
Entry Narrative: Due to a bet made by Nobara, I made an online dating account to set myself up with a blind date. Although a bit witty and annoyingly childish, Gojo's remarkably handsome and sweet...So, how the hell did I end up sleeping with him on the first date!? Contents: switch! Gojo x fem! reader - explicit content so minors DNI - blind date/online match-up - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Gojo is around early 30s) - texting back and forth - sex at a hotel - one night stands - consensual sex under the influence - protected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - cowgirl + lotus positions - pet names (angel, baby, dollface, pretty, princess, sweet thing) - clitoral play (swiping and pinching) - mentions of drug/alcohol use (reader and Gojo don't get blackout drunk, but y'all get tipsy) - a bunch of silliness bc it's a Gojo fic (duh). Completion: July 24th
Dear Suguru Geto... ༄ Swim in Waves, Chill in Caves
Entry Narrative: I went to the beach with my friends!! Only for me to...run into Gojo again!!? And to make things crazier, I met his attractive best friend who heard "so much" about me??!! Thanks to Gojo's nonstop blabber-mouth, Geto was interested in me in ways I would rather not be known for! Contents: Geto x fem! reader - explicit content, so minors DNI - age difference (the reader is at least in their 20s; Geto is around early 30s) - oral (m! + f! receiving) - heavy depictions of a blowjob - semi-handjob - sex at an open area; cave by the beach - 69+ doggy style/backshots + missionary position - unprotected sex but Geto doesn't shoot inside (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - fucking while the sun sets, lmaooo - pet names (baby, cutie, sweetheart, sweetie, princess) - clitoral play (swiping and pinching) - Gojo is here so expect some silliness. Completion: August 4th
Dear Choso Kamo... ༄ In[put]s & Out[put]s
Entry Narrative: My friends and I are getting ready to go out, but I'm feeling a little nervous about my outfit since it looks a little risqué... So, I took a pic of it and sent it to Itadori to hear his thoughts. Come to find out...I instead sent it to his half older brother, who was coming to pick me up......and he liked the outfit so much that he gave me his personal opinion?? Contents: still deciphering... Completion: TBA
Dear Toji Fushiguro... ༄ Secrets, Sweat, and Summer Fever
Entry Narrative: The gang and I hung out at Megumi's place for the last week of summer. But when I'm left at the house alone with Megumi's hot father, how am I supposed to act normal after "accidentally" eavesdropping on him jerking off to me!? Also, why and how the fuck does he know about my personal endeavors!? Contents: still deciphering... Completion: TBA
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© hoshigray 2023 ~𓆉~ Diary entries above are collected by, written by, and belong to me, so please do not steal, edit, or post my works. Or I'll find all the people in your family who don't know how to swim and throw 'em in the ocean (and yes, that includes you). :/
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monstas1ut · 1 year
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Characters w/ black! s/o who’s mad at them
LAW, ZORO, SASUKE, KAKUZU, ARMIN, EREN, ICHIGO, BYAKUYA
contains
__ +18 black coded reader, female reader, nsfw for most, sfw for some, only the Aot men are modern, usage of ‘slut’, Kakuzu uses his tendrils.
__ a/n : Can we talk about how I got so much love from my trafalgar law post? Thank you so much. This is just a small little small headcannon thing.. I needed to write something.. even if it’s shitty lol.
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Trafalgar Law is the epitome of ‘get somebody else to do it’. This is only at first when he notices you’re slamming things, rolling your eyes, or sucking your teeth. The surgeon can barely give a damn when you’re acting like this. Most of the time, he knows it’s his fault why you’re acting this way. Law won’t give you any attention until you calm down though.
When you’re finally quiet and shriveled up in a corner with anger looming over you, that’s when he appears. He will be as calm as ever and this will piss you off even more, but alas, Law isn’t dealing with your bratty self anymore.
If this is a public dispute, Law will in fact use his devil fruit to ‘room’ you away from others. There’s just no way he’s going to argue or let you scream at him in public. His eyes would squint at you as if you’re dumb and he’ll grip your chin with his tattooed hand. This of course only gets you to shut up for a little while.
“You are picking at my nerves. Pulling the strings even, and if you do not stop your petty behavior… I will stop it myself.” His voice would be at a low tone, mixed with harsh intent. His eyes would be directly looking into yours. And if his demand did not frighten you in any way, he would then have to resort to getting closer while his thumb slips into your mouth.
Law had never been so sexual before you.. but he knows how much of a slut you are for him. He just knew you’d wrap those glossy lips around his thumb. Not only did it keep you quiet, but it turned him on.. and he’s sure you were just annoyed from him ignoring you… So, his other hand would slip away and down into your bottoms. The only thing he felt was the shameful wetness.
Maybe you were just horny and mad..
“I will not tend to your every little need if you keep acting like this everytime you want to be a little slut..” he says as his fingers slip inside you.
Roronoa Zoro didn’t even know you were mad. Mad at him? For what? The blonde cook was the one that had to flat out tell him that you were angry with him. That’s when Zoro becomes pissed about you even spilling your problems to Sanji. Then, the whole ship has to hear you two verbally brawl.
He’s a petty asshole alright. He’s hidden every bonnet and scarf you’ve ever worn, and to his disbelief, you had one stashed. He’s also the one to cross boundaries and purposefully watch your bonnet fall off your head at night.. and he will not pick it up. He’s just that petty.. But when he finds out why you’re mad, he may stop.
Zoro will end up doing things under your nose. He’ll bring you something at most. He’ll let you sleep with him again.. but the biggest of them all would be how he apologies. It would be murmurs. You wouldn’t even notice he’s trying to say sorry.. The only time he can do it is after he cums in your pussy.
Makeup sex is the way for Zoro. He cannot just verbally say sorry, it doesn’t feel correct.
“..a-ah!… Zoro~… Fuck-.. Fuck-…!” Once you’re creaming all over his cock and he’s digging his cum in you, he will be a panting mess. But yet, his kisses would be planted all on your back and your neck.. up to your ear.
“…I’m fucking sorry…”
Sasuke Uchiha has either left the building or has laid back to watch the show. This man is the most flip flopping character anyone has ever seen. It really depends on the time and day you get angry. There’s the Sasuke who will sit there and watch you with a hard cock, and there’s the Sasuke who will ignore you for the rest of the day until he comes back.
When you’re yelling, cursing and using your hands to talk, Sasuke gets hard. What can I say? He loves strong, determined women. He cannot deal with weak women who stay cooped up in their emotions and never speak up. This is why a black woman is for him. He has a thing for women who speak their mind… and he doesn’t mind saying sorry with his tip kissing your womb.
However, there’s the other side of him that wishes you would shut up for one minute. He knows he’s most likely in the wrong, but hearing you say it and curse him out kind of hurts his pride. He likes to leave home around this type of situation. Does he come back? Yes.. Does he say sorry for leaving? Sorta. He comes back with a gift that’s for sure, but he doesn’t mutter the words ‘I’m sorry’. Not until you’re doing that favorite move on his cock.
If you say sorry for yelling and screaming while bouncing on him.. he’s in heaven.. and it’s not because you apologized.. it’s because he knows you love him just enough to say sorry..
He also knows you’re too stubborn to say that to anyone else.
“Fuck I’m sorry-… I’m sorry Sasuke-… baby…” It literally makes his eyes uncontrollable. His rinnegan stays the same, however his other eye turns that signature red. It’s like he just wanted to see more with his sharingan…. He wanted to see your brown pussy lips even more, and your pink insides..
“Sorry..”
Kakuzu is just that one man that doesn’t care. Really. He had more important things to do. If you’re the type to scream and curse him out while angry, then you’re out of luck. If you are the type that says nothing and presents the silent treatment.. then you may have a chance.
There’s something about the silent treatment that gets Kakuzu’s blood boiling. He cannot stand seeing you avoid him, let alone go running to his partner and talking to that silver haired bastard. Kakuzu cannot stand it. He will constantly give you a harsh glare until you talk to him. But, if you’re consistent and you don’t tend to him at all, he’ll only wrap his tendrils around you.
Doesn’t matter if you’re talking to someone or not, he will wrap them around you and take your bratty ass with him. The second that door slams, you’re all tied with his tendrils and he forces you to tell him what’s your problem.. if it’s someone else.. he’ll deal with it. If it’s something he did.. he’ll only apologize by releasing you and buying you a silky scarf the next day. Hey.. he’ll even eat your pussy for a bonus.
“Oooeh… fuck~…” you purred, curling your toes as those black tendril’s kept your thighs parted. You could see just as well. Kakuzu was slurping every drop of juice that came out of you… and his green irises didn’t fail to stare into your soul while he did it..
“Still pissed off, woman?..”
Armin Arlert will be the one to talk things out with you. There are two men on this list who will, and he’s one of them. He will not force you to do anything, let alone fuck you to tell the truth. The blonde will only watch your anger disperse into thin air after he pampers you with services and material things. He knows you don’t care much for money, but he will buy you whatever you want.
He doesn’t want you pissed off at him forever. That’s what he believes will happen anyways. But, to put things short, he gets you happy faster than the rest. He does this within the hour he sees you mad. If he’s made you mad in some way, shape, or form, he’s going to apologize regardless. Even if it isn’t his fault, he’s spitting out apologies and begging for forgiveness.
He will not go straight to sex, as he believes it will alter the way you two go about things. Instead, after he pampers you in such a manner, he will take you out to dinner and he’ll then.. make passionate love to you.. filled with ‘I love you’.
“Armin-… oh-… right there baby…”
“Right here..? Alright baby I got it.” He softly spoke, his cock rushing through you time and time again. His voice was so soft compared to his hips..
“I love you… I love you so much…”
Eren Yeager. Toxic as hell. We all know this man. The first thing he does when he notices how mad you are is ask you. Yes, he asks you what’s wrong. If you comply and tell him.. it’ll be all dandy.. but if you’re a brat and you say that he should already know what’s wrong, you’re in for it.
This man will not only fuck the truth out of you.. but he will be so rough that you’re seeing stars and you can barely remember what you were even mad for. He cares about your feelings, yes, but the fact is that you were trying to be smart.. so he just fucked the smartness out of you.
Honestly though, after Eren does that and when your brain comes back to life, he will hold you. He won’t leave your side and he’ll even lift you and take you to the bath after a while. No doubt, he has his answer now. He got it while he fucked you silly. If it’s his fault, he’ll actually apologize, however if it’s someone else’s fault… he’s gonna grab his glocky and that’s that.
Long story short.. he’s trying to do better about that..
“Don’t try to hide anything from me.. I just don’t like that shit…”
“Okay.. so that means fuck me and make me mess up the sheets..?”
“Well.. Nah…. I just don’t like that smartass attitude, baby. Now cmere’ I gotta fix that” Eren says as he points to your lifting lace front.
Ichigo Kurosaki will only make the situation worse before it gets better. However, this isn’t such a bad thing. His brain can only comprehend women a little. He doesn’t understand why you’re even mad. He’ll have to get a lesson from Kisuke, that's for sure. The lesson being, women are always right.. which isn’t true at all, but it’s a known motto. Ichigo will try to stand by it..
But he’s Ichigo.
The argument between you two will go on for less than an hour before you're laughing and he’s laughing non stop. Either you two saw someone fall, or you ended up watching something that was entirely too funny to not laugh. Not only that, but you two are straight back to holding each other close.
Ichigo is always so tired from dealing with the soul society, so you naturally understand he comes and goes. But, he does say sorry eventually.. with a letter. He cannot verbally say it because he’s a secret tsundere and will blush like hell is on earth.
‘ I’m sorry for being a bastard. I love you.’
Byakuya Kuchiki, the other man who will talk things out. He’s not dumb whatsoever, and frankly, he knows you’re mad just from the way you hold a glass or the way you move your lips. He’s very attentive and cannot miss a beat with you. Another main, obvious example would be when you are doing your hair and you get frustrated too quickly.
The way of approaching you would be quite formal. He’ll ask pretty quick. He won’t hold back, and he prefers you don’t either. He’s such a good man that you’ll most likely be spilling out what’s wrong. Once he knows, he’ll immediately try to fix said problem, it’ll be easier if it’s because of him… However, if it’s because of someone else, they better run like hell.
Byakuya may be pissed at himself if it was him, but someone else??? Not only will he have a long talk with you, but it’ll also be a long talk with that other person.. and you are also tagging along. He doesn’t like when you’re mad, simply because it interrupts the peace and he wants you happy. He’s the dull one here.. he doesn’t need you to be the same.
After correcting said situation, Byakuya would have a meal ready for the both of you.. and he will make sure to pamper you in a bathtub.. he’s also the king of kissing hands.
“I’d love it if you kept that gorgeous smile on your face. Don’t let anyone take that away, not even me.”
ⓒ Monstas1ut (do not copy)
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rainylana · 2 years
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“Do you like trees?”
Eddie Munson x reader
summary: this is part four, and final part of the ‘i think i’m in love’ series! thank you all so much for the support and kind words. i appreciate them more than you know. also i never proofread lol that’s for losers, so if i use she/her pronouns rather than y/n preferences, forgive me:)
also, now that this series is over, i will be taking requests. smut, fluff, anything! so send me some asks:))
warnings: fluff to the max, you know the drill. insecure reader, language, some angst (if you squint lol), reader hinting around that she’s a virgin, and as usual, eddie being a nervous wreck, and uncle wayne being a sweetheart:) also no, dustin does not have a girlfriend in this series so yeah he’s always flirting with the reader lmao.
taglist!
@marauders3rawh0re @eddiemunnson @eddiemania @averysblog @softyutae @ches-86 @ahzysauce @your-starless-eyes-remain @cosmic-lavender @flowers-and-tsukki @underthebatcape @mic429 @heeyitsg @catherinnn @fentyreligion @justaproudslytherpuff @supercalifragilisticprincess @imabadarsebard @fionnthebandersnacc @antigoneidk @actuallybarb @kneelforloki @cozy-little-flower @lexthemess21 @noturmom15 @imdoingbetternow @rovckwells @getbillzoned @delilahtaylorsverson @kaqua @phantomxoxo @no0neknowsm3 @hijynx75 @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @imangy @slytherinintj13 @ohlovelyhollow @avobabe87 @tessiemessie
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“I just don’t know what to do. I think I completely messed things up! I shouldn’t have- I just couldn’t stop myself. She’s just so…beautiful, and smart, shit she’s so smart. And she’s just so kind and actually cares about what I have to say! Like she actually listens to me, Uncle Wayne!” Eddie was practically jumping up and down, pacing trails in their shared trailer.
Wayne was sat down on the couch, beer in hand with a confused look on his face. It wasn’t like him and Eddie weren’t close, they were, but this was new. His nephew didn’t take about girls, and only ever looked at them when they were in trashy magazines. So when he came home from work and was greeted with Eddie ranting about some girl he didn’t even know existed, it was fair to say he felt lost.
“I mean, was I just supposed to let Carver say those things to her? Call her a- well, that! What if he had tried to put his hands on her?” He threw his hands up, curls bouncing with each anxious step. “And when she was- she just looked so pretty there. She said that I didn’t deserve to be called a freak.” He chuckled, stopping in his steps. “A girl said that, Uncle Wayne. I felt like I was going to die if I didn’t kiss her, now what if I messed it all up! I mean-”
“Are you going to let me speak?” His uncles gruff voice shut him up, and he clamped his mouth shut, realizing he was rambling. Wayne sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his face. He didn’t know the first thing to say to him, because this was new territory. Not with the opposite sex, per say, but Eddie with the opposite sex. He also didn’t want to screw this up. In a weird way, it made him feel good that his nephew felt comfortable coming to him for advice. He’d raised him since he was twelve, and though he wasn’t his father, he felt like he was. “Listen son, it’s great that you found someone that you…like, but why are you freaking out for? Shouldn’t you be happy that you kissed her?” He sat his elbows on his knees.
“Of course, I’m happy!” He exclaimed, spinning on his heal and pacing again. “I’m fucking ecstatic! It was perfect! And those lips-”
“I don’t need to hear about that.”
Eddie blushed, waving a hand as he paused. “Uh, yeah sorry. Anyways I’m just- well, I’m afraid that I screwed everything up. We’re just so different. She’s perfect and I’m…not perfect. She’s cute and funny and just,” He took a breath, realizing he hadn’t in almost sixty seconds.
It had been a long time since Wayne had seen him so engrossed in conversation, especially about another person. Eddie didn’t get that way, at least until now. He was having a hard time keeping up, but he recognized those tale tell signs of overwhelming anxiety that his nephew displayed, watching as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Ed, why don’t you sit down,” He cleared his throat, patting the seat next to him. The boy cleared his throat, his jewelry shuffling as he made his way to the sofa. He tried to remember past love affairs so he could try and give the best advice, but high school had been a long time ago. “Are you…are you afraid that things will be awkward between the two of you?”
He saw the relief in the brown eyed boys eyes, giving a deep nod. “Yeah. I don’t want it to be. I’ve only known her for a short time but I just- I don’t know, I get so overwhelmed being around her, like this urge to protect her and I don’t understand it.”
Wayne understood it. He understood it quiet well. That was love, and he face palmed as the situation became much for dire. Eddie had pretty much been a “grown up” since middle school, at least acted like he was, but this here, made Wayne feel incredibly old. “I get it.” He removed his hand. “Do you think she likes you back?”
Eddie’s eyes flashed with a gleam of uncertainty, and every moment he’d ever shared with her flashed in his mind. “I don’t know.”
“I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable, you know?” He continued, turning to his uncle. “I don’t want to pursue this if she doesn’t feel the same way, otherwise I’ll just be pushing her away and I can’t- I don’t want her to not be my friend anymore.”
Wayne already knew this girl, you, liked his nephew. Because Eddie was an absolute handful, a complete drama queen. No girl would subdue themselves for that unless they were head over heels in love. He knew that right off. He also knew how insecure he was, so if he was falling in love, his insecurities would be through the roof. Not anything with his appearance, but his background and reputation. Of course, it was eddie’s own fault for the reputation he’d built for himself, but he would never be someone he wasn’t.
“She likes you, Eddie.” Wayne smirked, not knowing what else to say. Advice in dating wasn’t his strong suit, especially to his nephew. The sex talk nearly sent him straight into a heart attack.
“What makes you say that?” His eyes grew big. “You don’t even know her.”
“No, I don’t.” Wayne shook his head, taking a long sip of beer. “But, I don’t need to. I’ve raised you for almost nine years, so that gives me the right to say it, but you’re a little shit, Eddie.” He chuckled, watching the boy’s eyes narrow, his lips parting in confusion.
“Huh?”
“You were a tough kid to take care off. Always in to stuff, pulling pranks on everyone and getting into trouble. Even as a baby you always had to have the attention, and son, not to be rude, but you still do.” He smiled as he remembered the boy as a baby, and Eddie only sat there with curios look. “My point is, son, that you’re not a typical college football high school graduate. Shit, you ain’t even graduated yet. You’re reckless and careless and have barely any manors. You scare the neighbors with that metal you blast. All I’m saying is, if you got a girl glued to your side just because she likes some board game, there’s more to the story.” He nodded with a smile, clapping Eddie on the shoulder.
“I’m taking a shower, order a pizza, will ya?” He stood, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts.
Even though his uncle practically insulted him, at least in some way or another, he felt a sense of calming relief wash over him. It made sense, Eddie realized that. He was an absolute drama queen, and practically everyone at school hated him, not that he cared. So why would she spend all that time with him?
Of course, there was always the chance that she only liked him platonically. Maybe she- or maybe she, or she could-
maybe, maybe, maybe
He covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t sit and think about the maybes, otherwise he’d have a panic attack. He’d see you tomorrow, and he’d take it from there. Eddie had been winging things his entire life, so he’d do the same with you, because he didn’t know how else to do it.
He’d wing it.
“Where is she?” Eddie exclaimed, examining the cafeteria with a dumbfound look. “I haven’t seen her all day! Did she come to school today?” He looked back to the table.
“No, man.” Dustin shook his head, glancing around the noisy room. “I haven’t seen her. You guys?”
Eddie watched as they all shook their heads no, and he cursed dramatically, a look on his face that screamed he was absolutely done with the world. “I’ve ruined it. I knew it. She’s gonna transfer to another school now and I’m going to alone for the rest of my life!” He shouted, gaining stares from nearby tables.
“What? What are you taking about?” Mike scrunched his nose, watching as Eddie sunk into his set, laying his head on the table.
“I kissed her.” He groaned, voice muffled.
“What?” Dustin screech, literally screeched, shaking the table. “You kissed y/n? You can’t let me have anything can you!”
“Here we go again.” Jeff groaned, knocking shoulders with Garrett.
“When?” Dustin smacked Eddie’s arm, watching the metal head raise his defeated body.
“Yesterday.” He sunk back in his seat. “You were there, Henderson. After the fight.”
The boy’s eyes widened. “You’re- you’re kidding me! I was this close to finally getting a girlfriend! I hate my life.”
“Well, I’m sure you can have a chance with her now,” Eddie stared at your empty seat, bouncing his knee up and down. “Since I fucked everything up.”
“What did she say?” Mike asked, in as much disbelief as everyone else. “Did she kiss you back?”
He hadn’t even really thought about it, and he gave Wheeler a look, biting his thumb nail down until it started to hurt. She did, when he thought back to it, but it was random movements, little adds of pressure that underlined his. It was discreet, but yes, she did kiss him back. “I think so, yeah.”
“Well, either she did or she didn’t.”
“She did, Wheeler! Cant you shut the hell up for once in your small life?”
“Okay, guys!” Dustin slammed his fists against the table, his thinking cap nearly flying off his head. “Let’s recap. Eddie kissed y/n, steals her from me, by the way, and now she’s not at school. Did you kill her?”
“Fuck you.” Eddie scoffed, crossing his arms. It was clear he was in an absolute foul mood, snapping at everyone, but he was scared, too.
“Maybe something came up,” Mike suggested, trying to make their friend feel better. All of hellfire knew how crazy he was about you, and knew that it was inevitable for this moment to happen. “I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
Everyone started chiming in, adding things here and there trying to make him feel better. He sat there with crossed arms, biting his nails as he zoned off, staring at the cafeteria floor scuffed with shoe marks. His heart was beating with a crack of uneasiness and devastation, anxiety making him dizzy. Who was he kidding? How could he even believe that someone as perfect as yourself could even look his way.
He was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid-
“Excuse me, Edward?” He jumped three feet at the tap on his shoulder, shielding himself with his arms. He narrowed his eyes. “Miss Calihan? What’s- uh, what’s up?” He felt uneasy at the sudden sight of the school librarian in front of him, the small, little old lady that everyone loved. Even he didn’t mind her, he supposed.
“Your friend y/n left her book in the library yesterday. I heard she was sick, so could you give this to her when she returns?” Everyone’s eyes widened at the woman’s words, but Eddie’s, dear god, exploded in his skull. (like fred and chrissy lol)
“Oh! Um, okay, s-sure!” He stuttered, grasping the book in his hands. “Yeah, definitely! Of course, sure!”
The woman thanked him, patting his hand and leaving the table in awe. He gripped the book tightly, tracing over the cover of Romeo and Juliet. It made perfect sense. You would read that. The biggest, tooth full smile spread across his face, and he looked to his sheep with pure joy. “What did I tell you guys! All that worrying for nothing!” His table laughed, while Dustin rolled his eyes.
“She’s sick!” He repeated, tasting the words with his mouth. “She’s sick! She’s sick this is wonderful!”
“You shouldn’t be happy your girlfriend is sick, Eddie,” Dustin glared, stabbing his food with a plastic fork. “You’re a bad boyfriend. Let me date her now.”
“Fuck off, Henderson.”
You wondered if you’d caught something from Eddie, maybe a cold he didn’t know he had. Whatever it was, you were almost grateful you didn’t have to go to school that day, not knowing how to act around him, or what to say. Hell, you didn’t even know how you felt about it. You couldn’t even begin to understand it.
Eddie was your best friend, but when he kissed you, it made you feel dizzy. It made your stomach flutter with a buzzing feeling that almost made you sick. It made your thighs feel warm. You knew that you liked it. You wanted to do it again. But you were so damn awkward. And what about Eddie? Did he like it? He probably didn’t, because you barely kissed back. You didn’t know how. He probably got second hand embarrassment.
You were too different from him, he must have realized that. Your music taste was drastically different, your clothing style. How you talked and behaved. If you sat too long and thought about it, your eyes would tear up, so you laid in your bed and hugged your pillow, hoping your runny nose would go away.
A tap at the window sat you up, alarmed at a possible idea of an intruder. What a good time it would have been to know karate. Another tap, and you crawled out from your bed, flicking on your bedside lamp. You pushed the curtain open barely, sighing when you saw him. You gasped, shoving the curtains out of the way and craning open the window. “Eddie?” You kneeled. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” He smirked, balancing himself on the roof as he trapped the window seal. His face was red from his climb, a few tiny twigs in his hair from the wines he climbed up along the wall. “I heard you were sick. You okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” You blushed at the closeness, clearing your throat. “Just a little sniffle. Mom didn’t want me going, so,”
He nodded, his veins fueling with confidence. He kept repeating everything his uncle said, and it made him feel as cocky as ever. “Do you like trees?”
Your face fell. “Sorry?”
“Trees.” He repeated, his long, bejeweled arms stretching out in front of him. “Do you like them?”
Your mouth opened and closed. “I uh- I don’t hate them, if that’s what you mean?”
“Good,” He smirked. “Because I want to bring you somewhere. You feel up to it?”
It was all happening so quickly, and you blushed madly, but gave a tentative nod. “Oh- sure! Yeah, okay. Let me uh- let me change first.”
“Nonsense,” He waved you off, stretching out his hand. “You look fine, come on.”
He didn’t give you much choice as you grabbed his hand, him helping you out of the window and down the side of your roof. Your heart raced with anticipation, knowing this was the most scandalous thing you’d ever done, and would probably be grounded for life if you got caught.
He drove you in his van to a lake, lover’s lake, he called it, and held your hand while you both walked on a remote trail. Your face was beat red with each step, nervousness and excitement all wrapped up in a ball. “Dustin and I built this back in freshman year,” He smiled, tilting your chin up to see the treehouse above you.
“Oh, my god,” You smiled, stepping closer. “It’s so cool!” You giggled, admiring all the details. Hellfire club was engraved at the entrance, a dark cape covering the door.
“Yeah, it is kinda awesome,” He smirked, glancing at your smiling face. “Come on,” He flicked your shoulder, and you walked to the roots of the tree to the ladder that dropped down. He went first, holding out his hand for you to follow. You laughed to yourself at the height, the night air cool on your face.
He helped you into the little house, pulling you up by the arm and grabbing your waist. “Wow,” You smiled, admiring all the heavy metal posters, empty food containers and trash.
“It’s messy, I know,” He scratched the back of his head, turning on a lantern. “Sometimes I sleep out here just cuz’ it’s private.”
You walked to the window, admiring the scenic view of the lake. “It’s pretty.”
He moved to lean beside you, your elbows resting on the wooden seal. The moon made your faces look pale, and he couldn’t seam to stop staring at you. Maybe it was the shot he took before picking you up, but he felt like all or nothing. “I can’t pretend that I’m not in love with you,” He said nonchalantly, and you snapped your neck so quickly to his.
“What?”
He chuckled as he rubbed his face, throwing up his hand. “Yeah, I know. Pretty crazy, right? I mean, I’m seriously in love with you. Like it’s bad how much.” He smirked over at you with awkward chuckles, though you could not laugh. You were frozen.
“I always said that love at first sight crap was bull shit, but I mean the moment I fucking saw you I knew. You make me feel so many things and I have no idea how to understand them. I’m rambling, I know. You’re gonna have to stop me otherwise I’ll go-” His voice muffled when your hand covered his mouth, and you both locked eyes, your mouth opening and closing as you tried to find words to speak.
You didn’t know what to say, how to respond. You didn’t know anything about relationships, about what Eddie was saying. It scared you, because you knew that you loved this man too, deep down you did, but you were terrified of disappointing him. You were so different, inexperienced. You had no idea. He stared at you, watching as your eyes darted back and forth, an expression on your face he couldn’t read. He loved the feeling of your hand on his lips.
“I have no-” You looked at his chest, your hand still on his mouth. “I have no idea how to understand the way I feel.” You gulped, causing his brows to furrow.
It was weird, because now, you felt so insecure. Never in your life had you felt so insecure, so naked before someone. You almost felt like crying, because you wanted to be perfect for him, but you weren’t. You were like a baby learning how to walk. A baby bird taking it’s first flight. Never in your life had you felt so terrified.
“I could try and say something as romantic as you, but I’d fail.” You sighed, dropping your hand from his face. He started growing concerned, because you looked like you were practically in pain. “When I’m with you I’m just so happy and I- when you say those things or- or look at me like you are now, it makes me feel things. And it- it just…it scares me because I don’t know how to..or what they are.” You sniffled from your cold, eyes burning from the cool air.
Your face grew red in embarrassment, your eyes batting up to his. He was staring straight at you, a pensive look on his face. “Yesterday was my…it was uh, my- first. It’s all I’ve been able to think about and I’m so scared that I’ll…I just, I mean, I don’t want to disappoint you. Boys they’ve never…no one has ever looked at me the way you do. I don’t want to ruin anything for you because I don’t…I just don’t know how to do any of this. We’re so different and I don’t-”
“Okay, whoa, whoa, what?” He held up his hands, eyes widened at your confession. “Y/n, I- sister, I don’t care that you’re a virgin.” Your jaw dropped at how casually he said it, and your fingers tightened into fists.
“You think I care about that? That it’s really going to sway my feelings for you?” He looked in complete dismay, mind blown at your confession. “And you think I’m not scared? Shit, babe, I’m terrified! I’ve never been so goddamn scared in my entire life. You fucking terrify me.” He chuckled, shaking his wild curls as he enunciated each word.
“I’m not- I didn’t say anything of this just to get you into bed, y/n,” He assured you, hoping that you truly didn’t feel that way. “I said it because I’m in love with you, whatever that means,” He laughed, pushing out air between his lips. “And you don’t have to say it just because I did. I don’t want you to say anything you don’t want to. I just don’t want you thinking like that, okay?” He placed his hand on your knee, and again, your stomach took flight. It made your heart swell, the contact and you thought of everything he said.
It was hard to put into words, it was for you, anyways, but Eddie seemed to sum it all up for you. You sighed heavily, staring into each other’s eyes. “I love you too.”
His features fell. “What? You don’t-”
“You said everything I wanted to,” You cut him off, grabbing his wrist tentatively. “And I do, I love you, even though it scares me to death.”
He breathed the biggest breath of relief, and your eyes flickered down to his lips. “Kiss me again,” You whispered, his eyes going to yours.
He grew quiet, his face molding into a pensive look, gulping.
“Just don’t make fun of me, okay? I don’t know what I’m doing.” You chuckled awkwardly, scooting closer.
He laughed with you, his hand cupping your chin. “Never.”
4K notes · View notes
multi-fan-dom-madness · 7 months
Note
Hi! *Waves like a weird-o*
You probably already know this, but I absolutely love your writing and you truly are so talented. Please never stop!! Even if you just write for yourself!!!
So I do have a mini request if you don't mind of course. Post-sex cramps? For female reader? Clone of your choice of course and any way you wanna write it; NSFW or NFW.
No rush of course!! Thank you!! ❤️
- Hales
And here is cat + kitten(s) for your troubles. And puppies if you like those better. And a snake if you like those too.
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hiiii friend! *waves back like a weirdo* first of all, thank you so much?? for the kind words?? omg. I appreciate you so much—and the pictures of the baybiessssss! I love all of them, please give them snoot boops for me (if they're yours ofc). anyways, I hope this is somewhat in line with what you envisioned! I opted for the fluff/SFW route because I need that tonight lol enjoy! <3
Comforting Touches
Summary: Some HCs and blurbs about how the commander batch comforts you through some post-sex cramping.
Warnings: no actual sex described but still mature content so 18+, minors get outta here; f!reader, fluff, i guess hurt/comfort?, big strong stoic men being soft and loving
Word Count: 1.1k
dividers by @saradika and @dystopicjumpsuit
Cody
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Like with many other things in his life, Cody is nothing if not thorough. Meticulous in the way that he picks you apart and puts you back together, painstaking in the image of self-confidence and dominance that he exudes when he’s intimate with you. 
And just as attentive to your needs after he makes you finish several times. If you wince in pain from the cramps beginning to twist your insides, despite the many orgasms he’d given you, he’s all over that. 
Tilts your head to the sides to check your vitals, gets you meds, and frowns when you try to shoo him off. “You’re not goin’ anywhere until you’re good, cyar’ika.” 
More than anything, you’re just grateful to still be sitting on the edge of his bunk. Between the shakiness in your legs from the strain of having him buried inside you just a few minutes ago, and the pain tugging at your body, you have no energy to stand right now. Cody sighs, a furrow deepening between his brows; you can’t resist the impulse to smooth his skin with your thumb. You trace the outline of his scar when his expression doesn’t relax. 
“Did I cause this?” he asks. Despite the way he tries to hide it, you can hear the concern underlying his words. 
Sighing, you shrug with one shoulder. “Kinda. But it’s okay,” you hurry to assure him. “It’s, um, most often caused by...intense orgasm. Or just intense sex. Happens now and then.” 
He blinks at you, your words clearly taking a moment to compute. Almost unbidden, a small groan escapes him. “O-Oh.” 
“Mhm.” You clench your teeth as another wave of cramps knifes through you. “Worth it.”
He cups your face in one hand, the other resting on your bare thigh, kneading your soft flesh. “Good. Because I can’t promise I won’t be able to keep myself from making you cum like that again.” 
His words are a promise, and you know Cody never breaks promises.
Wolffe
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Listen I know we all think Wolffe is this hard-ass, mean dom (and he is) but he’s also very caring. Hard shell, gooey insides.
The minute you show signs of being in any kind of discomfort he’s right there, cradling you to his chest, smoothing his warm palms over your thighs, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple. 
“Where’s it hurt, mesh’la?” 
You curl in on yourself within Wolffe’s embrace, your body trying to wrap itself around the dull pain blossoming in your center. Though pleasure lingers in your limbs, this unfortunate side-effect of sex occasionally makes an appearance, particularly after a good romp with Wolffe. Normally it’s not so bad, but right now, you just want to squeeze into a ball and sleep until the cramping fades.
“M’sorry if I hurt you,” Wolffe rumbles in your ear, his voice soft and quiet. “I know I can be rough.” 
“S’not that,” you say with a small smile. “Just...does this when it’s really good.”
“That seems counterintuitive.” 
You bark a short laugh. “Tell that to whoever designed the female human body.” 
Wolffe tucks your head under his chin and presses a large, warm hand over your tummy to act as an impromptu heating pad until the cramps dissipate, his lips pressing chaste, close-mouthed kisses along your neck and shoulders to help distract you. You hum in contentment, drawing lazy circles on his bare hip, relishing how his muscles flex under your touch.
Fox
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If the cramps take a bit to set in, and you’re both already re-dressed and ready to go about your days, Fox will still immediately put his very busy schedule on hold to make sure you’re okay. 
Gives you pain meds, extra water, and kisses you sweetly. “Why don’t you lay on the couch here for a bit until you feel better, sarad?” 
If/when you protest, he simply gives you his best deadpan look—which is quite good, considering he’s perfected it through use on his men—and crosses his arms, cocking his hip. 
You roll your eyes good-naturedly, the slight smile tugging at your lips vanishing into a twisted grimace at the next wave of cramping. Fox sighs and ushers you to the old, ratty couch he’d acquired for his office. He guides you to sitting down at the least, and nods in approval when you draw your legs up to your chest and hug your knees to put pressure on your center where the cramps are the worst. 
When he goes to turn away, you reach out to snag his hand, threading your fingers through his. “Fox?” 
“Hm?” He looks down at you, graying curls sweeping over his forehead. 
“Sit with me?” 
“Of course.” He graces you with a soft smile, retreats for just a moment to retrieve his datapad, and settles into the couch next to you. He rests one arm along the back of the couch; you snuggle into his warmth, grateful that he hasn’t yet put on the top half of his armor, and let your eyes drift shut, listening to the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of his fingers over his datapad while he works. You’d be able to fall asleep there, in post-orgasmic near-bliss. 
Rex
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Rex realizes that something is amiss the moment that you don’t roll over to cuddle him after he returns from getting you a warm rag to clean off with.
When you simply groan your answer, the post-sex cramps clenching your insides a little more intensely than you’re used to, he’s instantly in Protective Partner Mode. 
“I’ve got you, cyare.” 
With strong, steady hands, Rex gently repositions you on the bed so that you’re lying on your front, before settling his knees to either side of your thighs. His thumbs, calloused and rough, rub slow, comforting circles along your spine, from your butt to your neck and back. Though he knows by now that he can’t do much in the way of helping your cramps aside from offering pain meds (which he retrieves as soon as he realizes what’s going on), he can offer you relaxation of other sorts. 
His practiced hands work away all the knots and kinks in your back, urging your entire body into a state of bliss beyond the post-orgasm glow. 
“How’s this, cyare?” he asks, voice quiet, contemplative. 
“Feels s’good,” you mumble, face smushed into the sheets. “Thank you, Rex.” 
“Always.” He leans over you to press a kiss to the side of your head. “I’d say that I’d stop doing whatever causes these cramps, but—”
“Don’t you dare,” you interrupt, playfully glaring out of the corner of your eyes. “You know damn well the orgasms you give are worth this discomfort.” 
He preens just a little at that, and if he happens to give your butt a squeeze or two while resuming his massage, well, that’s his deal. 
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Ragu: @dystopicjumpsuit @clonemedickix @freesia-writes @littlemissmanga @wolffegirlsunite @anxiouspineapple99 @wings-and-beskar @sinfulsalutations @523rdrebel @sunshinesdaydream @moonlightwarriorqueen @sev-on-kamino @starrylothcat @deejadabbles @starqueensthings @mandos-mind-trick @idontgetanysleep @eyeluvmusic21 @wizardofrozz @mythical-illustrator @sleepycreativewriter @bobaprint @lem-hhn @thorsterstrudle @droids-you-are-looking-for @goblininawig @cw80831 @dreamie411 @jedi-hawkins @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @9902sgirl @originalcollectionartistry
186 notes · View notes
danieyells · 16 days
Note
hi there,
thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?
thank you again !
You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha.
I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.
You've Got Mail:
"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."
oh no he's anxious about helping--
Default(no affinity):
"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."
"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."
it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .
"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."
"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."
"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."
that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .
Affinity 1:
"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."
DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .
Affinity 2:
"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"
baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.
Affinity 3:
"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."
Affinity 6:
"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"
poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.
Affinity 7:
"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."
i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.
Affinity 8:
"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"
Affinity 9:
"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."
Affinity 10:
"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, FirstName. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."
Affinity 11:
"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."
Affinity 12:
"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."
Affinity 13:
"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."
awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.
Affinity 14:
"... ...Oh! Hello, FirstName—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."
Affinity 15:
"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."
Affinity 16:
"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."
Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.
Affinity 17:
"I didn't take you for a night owl, FirstName. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"
Affinity 18:
"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."
why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .
Affinity 20:
"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."
it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.
Affinity 22:
"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."
Affinity 23:
"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."
he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.
Affinity 24:
"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."
BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.
Affinity 25(max):
"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"
he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate)
Spring:
"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."
"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."
"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."
Summer:
"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"
"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."
Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.
"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."
"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."
slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.
Autumn:
"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"
"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."
"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."
Winter:
"...Oh, FirstName. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"
"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."
"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."
i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.
His birthday:
"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."
New Years:
"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."
Valentine's Day:
"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"
nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!
White Day:
"These are for you, FirstName. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."
April Fool's Day:
"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."
i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.
Halloween:
"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."
please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.
Christmas:
"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."
Idle:
"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."
"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."
Absent:
"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."
this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.
good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod
72 notes · View notes
jinhyun · 5 months
Text
hellooo, my lovies!
as you may have noticed i haven't updated either of my ongoing series since september, and before the year ends i would like to clear things up and set things straight when it comes to them.
back in june i began this mandatory 6 months long apprenticeship in order for me to get my law degree, and tbh i got exploited the hell out of me, to the point that i would only think about work 24/7.
up until like the beginning of august i would still daydream and stuff and i came up with back to december way before that and i was so excited for it, but then i just got more and more work in the middle of august and from then on it never stopped. i was in a constant state of stress and anxiety, and i reached a point i had only once in my life before reached, in which i no longer daydreamed lol. i still don't really daydream anymore nor do i make up scenarios before going to bed like i always used to. i finished the apprenticeship in december 7th but there's still paperwork i'm turning in and my mind is pretty much numb at this point, idk how to explain it.
the thing is, although i've tried to take off from where i left the stories since i'm not working anymore, i can't bc i feel nothing. i no longer feel that spark or get excited about writing. sure, drabbles and those silly ot8 texts i've posted i'm okay with and genuinely enjoy writing, bc they're simple and don't require me to get as emotionally involved as a series does. but when it comes to watercolor and back to december i try and try and i just can't.
regarding watercolor, i haven't decided what to do with it yet but i think it's no news that i lost my excitement about it a good while ago. there's only one part left and then the epilogue, but if i'm being completely honest i'm considering just leaving it there and maybe write the epilogue right away.
as in for back to december, i'm putting it on hold indefinitely, mainly bc i don't know when i'm gonna be hit with the inspiration i used to have again and i don't want to keep you guys waiting. i've tried to finish the third part but it's been months and i only get frustrated when the words won't come to me like they used to, so it's not good for me either. just think of it as if it was discontinued but if i ever feel like writing for it again i will.
i know these are very shitty news but i can't keep pushing myself when i don't feel the joy i used to when it comes to writing stories. i hope it goes away soon though bc i do love writing and it's been my escape from reality my whole life, so this is hitting me really hard lol.
i may come back to btd in the future or i may come back with a whole new story i'm excited about, but for now i'm gonna stick to drabbles (or one shots if i feel like writing something longer idk) and fake texts.
i'm really sorry. i used to be really excited about both stories but life happened, and i thought you guys needed an explanation. i hope you understand<3
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genericpuff · 5 months
Note
This is stupid, but you know those new LO hoodies the Webtoon shop has? I know the font they're using. It's Eckmannpsych which is an Adobe font.
That's not the stupid part though. The dumb part is the capital H and G in the Eckmannpsych font do not match what is on the hoodies, which would obviously be on the hoodies that have Hera or Goddess on them. So, Rachel looks to have taken the time to hand draw her own H and G to match the font style for those hoodies but did not take any time to make new, better art for the merch, but instead reused ugly panels from the comic. Talk about a strange look into her priorities. She doesn't like how the G and H look on a font? She will remake those to fit what she wants. Rachel when the assignment gives her the chance to make specialized, better designs for those same merch? She can't be bothered to even try. WTF!
for the love of god-
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I'm assuming and hoping they had the commercial rights to that font LMAOO But it did kind of make me go 🤨 because while I didn't know the font EXACTLY off the top of my head it still felt... weirdly out of place for something like LO? Why are these hoodies being stylized like they're from Austin Powers LOL
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On another note tho, the LO merch is just like... disappointing in how bad it is for what's supposed to be WT's #1 series, which is, btw, a series with so much unique stylization that it shouldn't even be this hard to make merch for it! it just feels very "first attempt at redbubble merch", but unlike genuine first attempts at making merch (which is obviously a learning curve that I wouldn't judge anyone for being new to) this is a company that's sunk shitloads of money into LO so I don't know why they can't get better merch made?? so much of it is just the default drawings taken and slapped onto a tote bag or t-shirt, which like, yeah cool fine you're using art that's recognizable and considering the art is already made, it stands to reason that they should use it for more than just the comic. It's just disappointing to see how lazy it often is and how little effort is put into translating it onto a t-shirt/tote bag/etc. like we can't even have ONE exclusive t-shirt with a unique design that isn't just poorly copy pasted from the comic?
Case in point, those t-shirts that Rachel was advertising a while ago that were actually straight up falsely advertised. I can't find the post about it on my Tumblr (I'm pretty sure I talked about it here) so here's the IG story rundown I did on it ages ago:
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Again I'd really like to have benefit of the doubt here that Rachel isn't the one making these designs, usually that's not how the merchandising process goes in these types of deals, so I'm not gonna point the finger at her. But it's just so odd to me that it happened in the first place. And this goes for a lot of LO's merch, so much of it feels cheaply made and rushed off a conveyor belt for the point of making money without much expense. Which yeah, that's a business model for sure, the goal is to profit, but like this?
You can't even argue that it's like people criticizing LO the comic because like, as much as I'll justify what I spend my time doing here in my free time, it's true that at the end of the day I don't have to pay for LO, so really the only thing I'm doing is inflicting psychic damage to myself, it's not like my actual money is on the line LMAO That's why I stopped paying for LO ages ago and only do it when I have a specific episode I need to review (such as the midseason hiatus review series I did). At the very least, if I really want to keep reading LO but don't want to pay for it, I can just avoid FastPassing it and read it for free so I can save the coins for other series I'd rather read. The Webtoons' FP system is very fair that way.
But this is merch explicitly made to generate revenue. It is a product, front to back. You can vote with your money by not buying the thing you don't like, absolutely, but the fact that it's this poorly to begin with is just so indicative of Webtoons' business practices and so shitty for the people who genuinely enjoy this comic and are being advertised and sold shoddy merchandise that doesn't even come looking the same way it's advertised. It's really not a good look for Webtoons, Rachel, or LO that this is what they're selling to people.
Especially for what they're charging, good lord-
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Like, okay, they're hoodies and they're gonna be expensive to print and ship so the higher overhead cost makes sense, but jesus christ, with the kind of merch Webtoons has already given the stamp of approval on, would it even show up in decent condition? How bright are those colors gonna be? Are they gonna strip off as soon as I throw it in the wash? I'm half-tempted to buy a hoodie for myself just to do a review on it but I can't justify dropping $75 CAD on a hoodie that only has art on the back. Maybe it's just me living in the hellish lands of Canada where we play with toy money that's the problem, but it's just not a gamble I wanna take LOL If I bought one it would probably be the Hecate or Hermes ones because they're the only ones that are at least somewhat legible and have decent character art that isn't a character looking like they need to poop LMAO
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(these are literally the two worst drawings they could have chosen of these two i stg lol the only thing that would have made this worse/funnier is if it was Handsome Hades and Persephone Kidnapping a Baby LMAO)
It has me worried about what the LO figures are gonna look like when they release. Are they gonna have some creative liberty with making them chibi-fied (like a Nendoroid?) or are they gonna try and replicate the art style exactly and wind up making literal blow-up sex doll Persephone? 😭
NGL, if the figures are done well enough and don't cost an arm and a leg, I might consider buying one just for the shelf collection, but again, it depends. If Webtoons released a tarot deck with really good panels from LO (like the Tower 4 scene or Persephone sitting on the rooftop with her comb or Eros flying down into the Mortal Realm) I would buy the shit out of that. I would even just take the Major Arcana if 78 cards was too much to ask :'0 I'm not against Webtoons/Rachel trying to profit off LO merch at all, I just wish it was BETTER- (╥﹏╥)
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ebonysplendor · 3 months
Text
Perfect Love Review 💖
TL;DR: Yeah, Milo is toxic and all, but growing up is realizing that, maybe I'M the problem. Maturing is realizing that it's not even a damn maybe; we're deadass the problem this time.
Game Link: https://c4game.itch.io/perfectlove
Notable Features: Sadistic MC, Gender options, LI turned Yandere, (8) Endings Tracker, Self-Insert Spiciness: 0/5 -- As far as I know, there's no spicy scenes, but I was so shook after my first playthrough, I just ran to make a review. That said though, this game is by no means wholesome LI MC Red Flags: 7/5 -- Sadistic, vindictive, manipulative, drugged someone, accessory to crimes, conspiracy to crimes, gaslighter, blackmailed someone, emotionally/mentally abusive, just..a lot of shit (and you thought Castiel was toxic)
Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!
Fair warning, there may be way more grammar errors than normal because when I tell you that I played the first ending and ran to make a review, I mean that quite literally. That being exposed, just bear with me because this had very little proof reading because I was way too excited to tell you all about this game (without spoiling too much, of course) lol
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What's up! Welcome back to another review!
Two things to start this off:
1. I know I already posted another review today, but I couldn't not write a review about this game and tell as many people that would listen to play it as soon as they could! 2. No, my friends, that was not a typo. It's not the LI we need to be concerned about; it's the MC. Yes, we're the problem this time around, and holy shit, please allow me to tell you about it! Or at least some of it, because I don't want to spoil too much.
As angry as this game made me, and as open and as wide as my mouth was during pretty much the entirety of this game, this has been the best damn visual novel I have come across to date! Yes, you read that correctly, and I will double down on it without hesitation; this is the best visual novel that I have ran across! Bitch, I would've paid money for this visual novel it was so good, and y'all know that I'm a cheap bitch! This was a $12.00 game (no, I still ain't over that! lol)! I would've gladly dropped that amount of money on this!
And I really hope I'm not exaggerating or overhyping it either, because I don't know which visual novels you guys have or haven't played, so let me clarify: For me, this is 1000/10 the best visual novel that I have read up to date. The pacing, the art style, the story its damn self, the fact that we're the problem this time around! Like, ugh, I could go on and on and on and on and on some more about this masterpiece of a game. I'm dead serious. I really believe that I could do an improvised one hour powerpoint presentation with absolutely zero prep time on how much of a chokehold this game has me in and STILL need an extra 30 minutes to an hour to really get my damned point across. It is that real for me. It is that serious.
All right, all right, all right, I'm gonna stop myself here because if I keep gushing, the intro is going to get way too long. That being said, it is officially time for me to write the synopsis. More than ever, I really mean this when I say, I'm going to tell you as much as possible without spoiling the game itself, and gods damn it, is it going to be difficult because, holy shit, the stuff that goes down?! I really want to tell you about it but fuck, if I do, then you might not play it yourself, and I can tell you right now, you have got to play this for yourself, and I highly recommend this game! Y'all are seriously missing out if you don't!
Okay, okay, I'm shutting up, because the intro's for real, for real getting too long and really redundant. Like, we get it, you love the game, start summarizing the damn thing! No worries, I hear y'all, and that's exactly what I'm about to do. Just a heads up, you're gonna need to buckle up for this one. Like, no, deadass. Buckle the hell up. I don't know what the hell kind of ride I'm about to take you guys on, but it's a damned wild one.
All right. Enough intro, enough talking. Let's finally get into it.
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So, boom, and gods damn it, I mean, BOOM.
The game starts off with a little introducty-duction about how fucked up we are as a person. I'm not kidding about that. Basically, you know how we play these "dark romance" visual novels because the idea of someone being so unhealthily obsessed with you to the point of literally driving them bat shit crazy is something that just excites us for whatever reason? Yeah, we're like that in this game, except, we're literally delusional. Not the "quirky", cringey "aha, I'm so crazy~!", not delulu, like full on, needs to be admitted into the psychiatric floor of the hospital, delusional.
Anyways, we aspire to experience and permanently have that specific type of psycho crazy love, and damn it, we're going to have it, even if we have to go past just manifesting it and instead creating it ourselves, and I mean that quite literally. Let me explain.
See, at this point, there have been many failed attempts at getting this form of toxic love that we're after. At first, (or at least it's implied that) we tried to find it naturally, but it wasn't working out because, quite simply, it was never enough. I mean, sure, they cared about us, and sure, they would fight for us. Hell, they would easily do things for us if we asked, but they would always fall short because they wouldn't be willing to do anything and everything for us, let alone without us just being straight up about it and asking them to do so, and that, my friends, did not and will not fly.
Because we were tired of the constant failures and the constant disappointment, we decided to get on our boss shit and solve our problem instead of complaining about it. How do we solve it? By simply creating the love that we're after, and the first -- and most critical -- part of creating that love, is to find the right type of person. Someone who was a loner and an outcast. Someone that people ignored without so much as a second glance. Someone who allowed people to walk all over them and treat them any kind of way because they had no sense of self-worth. Someone desperate for affection, touch-starved even. Someone like...that new kid who recently transferred.
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Milo Change. The perfect sap.
So, for totally non-selfish reasons, we play hero, and we step in to save the day. The bully -- his name's Ryan, by the by -- pretty much hightails it out of there once we intervene, and we're left with our suitor, and a suitor he'd better damn be because we didn't save his ass for nothing.
Milo gets off the ground, and he stumbles into us because he had gotten beat down pretty bad. True to expected nature, he apologizes, and starts rambling on about his friends for a little. He basically explains that, even though he knows that the people that he hangs around are really shitty, being new and not being used to the area makes him anxious to the point where he prefers their company over having no one and being alone. How coincidentally in perfect character he is...this is the one. Time to turn on the rizz.
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When he asked why we jumped to his defense, we hit him with the ultimate "I was worried about you". This man's heart immediately gets to fluttering, and he's just making this too easy. It gets to a point where we make this "arrangement", so to speak. In exchange for giving him pointers on how to start standing up for himself, he has to date us. Of course, he jumps on this offer, because aside from him being the very type of spineless dweeb guy we're looking for, we knew that he had a serious crush on us. We know this because we had noticed that in passing and in the classes that we had together that he was always sneaking glances at us, so why not exploit that shoot our shot?
Anyways, we flawlessly sink the shot, and we get our date established. When we meet up, we decide to go to the batting cages, but it throws Milo off because they aren't the kind of batting cages that he was thinking of. Actually, quite frankly, it isn't really a batting cage but instead this really creepy room that has bats and is filled with mannequins.
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Naturally, Milo starts asking questions, because now he's pretty uncomfortable with this whole thing, and it only gets worse when he sees us haul off and take a pretty ruthless swing at one of the dummies with a bat. At this point, Milo is holding one of the bats in his hands, and he's like "Nah, nah, I'm not into violence. Like, this is wild", but we reassure him that this isn't so much a reflection of character but a perfectly healthy way to get his anger out. He's still a little hesitant so we start planting thoughts giving him things to consider, and we're just like:
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"Dude, are you not angry about the way that your so called 'friends' treated you? Did you actually like that they would use and abuse you when all you did was try to be nice? You did nothing wrong, and yet, they found it amusing to see you in pain. Do you really think you deserved to be treated like that...?" In short, we're just like "Getting your ass beat for the sake of friendship? Couldn't be me".
Milo stops for a second and really considered our words. After he really thought about it, he realized that he was and still is pissed about everything, and he goes in.
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Like, really goes in to the point that the bat shattered and his hands started bleeding.
This scares the crap out of him because he didn't realize how much anger he had been holding in, but we find his performance desirable, not to mention severely attractive. Insert the Kronk meme because, my bois, it's all coming together.
We see the potential in Milo, and we're more than happy to help him reach that potential that we know he's capable of achieving. That being said, while he's trying to process what's going on, we just reassured him that we weren't scared of him and that it probably felt really good to finally get all that anger out. The tragic part is that Milo innocently agreed that it did.
We smile about the fact that he unknowingly took the bait, and we keep reeling him in. We tell Milo that we're really happy that he was able to get that anger out, because we understood that the world could be and is super cruel. While we're on the topic of the world being a really messed up place, we just idly bring up the concern of something happening to us and whether Milo'd protect us or not. Milo is once again thrown off because, yeah, the world is cruel, but why would we even picture a scenario like that? So, we explain that it's not necessarily that we wanted to think about it, but that because there's so much violence going on in the world, it was natural to think about.
That being said, we double down and tell him that he may have to protect us one day and fight back. We already know how Milo feels about violence, so we tell him to think of it more as self-defense and not so much as an excuse to be violent towards others for the sake of being violent. It was protection, really, for both himself and the people that he loves and "Milo...you'll protect me...right?"
And, once again, very innocently, he promises us that he will.
With that declaration, he became stronger. He upgraded from mannequins to glasses, plates, and whatever else in ramshackled houses to cars in abandoned lots. He even did classes that taught him how to fight, whether for self-defense, to protect others, or to simply hurt someone. He had become a bit more brash, and the "friends" that he had before started to back off because he was so different, but that was okay; that was what was best for him, and even more importantly, that was what we wanted.
Milo clung onto us. He knew that he was the only one that we could trust because our sweet Milo deserved the world, but the world didn't deserve him. He knew this because we told him exactly that, and why would we ever lie to him? We wouldn't, and because of that, Milo believes that we're the only one that he can trust -- as it should be.
Milo was slowly, but surely, starting to learn, but despite this improvement and despite this change...
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...It still wasn't enough. Just the same as before.
Nah, nah, nah, I'm not telling you anymore, because it was hard enough withholding some of the details here. Know this though: this isn't even the halfway point let alone the thick of it, and this is one route out of eight that I just described to you. Yes, it gets damned wild, way beyond this.
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FRICKIN FINALLY. I was about to explode trying to get to this part!
Guys, if it was not obvious, you guys have got to play this game! Like, I usually be like "Oh, if you want, and you have the time and feel like it, play this game" but nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH. This is not optional. You will seriously be missing out if you do not play this visual novel. Now admittedly, I got pissed at the MC because, shit, like, there's an option for self-insert, but I was so far detached from this character because this bitch is -- and Markiplier said it best -- fucking psycho crazy bonkers! Like, I saw certain stuff coming, but it's like, when it happened, it would be 10x worse than I thought it'd be.
Like, you honestly have no idea. The lil' synopsis I gave you at the top isn't even really a synopsis; more accurately, it's a teaser, because what I told you didn't even scratch the surface of what is going on. Guys, gals, gays, theys, all of y'all...please...I beg...play this damn game. Like holy shit, I cannot push this game enough. Like, yeah, sure, just to provide criticism or whatever, certain things or scenes are worded really "Ooh, I'm edgy and fucked up", and (unless I just read it weird) I think there were a few coding errors for nicknames and some super minor grammar errors, but like honestly, it doesn't even matter. I honestly couldn't give a damn because shit, the game is damned good! Like, there honestly isn't anything significant to complain about or critique. The dev? C4Games? They are out here, and they are setting the bar damned high.
Like, oh my gods, the fucking concept had me tripping out! Like, the whole "sadistic MC" or "The MC is crazy, too" trope isn't unheard of but, as far as I know, the execution itself is original, and I'm super geeked about it! A sadistic and twisted MC who is literally corrupting and molding an innocent guy to be the yandere that she craves. Like...what the hell? Ahhh!! I love it! Like, I literally cannot hold in the amount of gushing that I'm doing, and you can tell when I'm gushing because every other sentence will be "like, like, and like, like, like, and oh my gods, holy shit, like, like, like". Like lmao, I am gushing. I am ruined.
At this point, I feel that no other game will top this game. If I was making a tier list of the visual novels I have been reviewing, this is by far, no debate, an S Tier, God Tier, "whatever your highest tier would be" game. This visual novel is good, and I cannot wait to play the other seven routes, and guess what? The best part of all of this is that it's released! This is the entire game, and you can bet your ass that I'm going to be playing every route MUTLIPLE times!
Okay, I feel like the review and this overall post is long enough, and I want to stop myself from rambling and gushing anymore than I already have. That being said, that is officially all from me, and everyone's homework-- actually, nah. Everyone's project -- and it's going to be worth 100% of your grade -- is to play this damned game. EXPIDITIOUSLY. This is a requirement. This is an order.
Side note, I'm back on my sims kick, and I'm half tempted to make a family of the Milos I unlock because apparently -- pay attention! This is about to be a "pro, not really pro, but super helpful" tip! -- Milo's appearance and personality changes based on how you choose to mold him. Interesting, right? So, considering that there's 8 endings, I'm thinking there's 8 Milos, so...that's a full household in the Sims. Lol I might do it. I think I am.
Lol all right, enough rambling, I'm outta here for realsies! I hope everyone enjoys whatever time zone they're in, and, in case it wasn't clear or you missed it, play this damned game!
Anywho! Huge reminder! Drink water, don’t be dumb, play this game, and hope to see you around~!
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Perfect Love
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vodika-vibes · 3 months
Note
CONGRATS ON 500!!
Long time lurker, I am here every morning around work, and have reread most of your fics at least 3 times. Your writing is amazing!
Okay I'll stop gushing 🙈
For the follower event, I was thinking Kix, Emerald, and late night.
Thank you, and congrats again!! 😊
I'll Wait Forever
Summary: When an emergency makes Kix late to pick you up for your date he’s incredibly apologetic. What he doesn’t know, and what you need him to understand, is that you’d wait forever for him.
Pairing: Post-Stasis Kix x F!Reader
Word Count: 830
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: Thank you for your nice comment! I'm so glad that you like my stories enough to come back to them! I hope this is close to what you wanted, you didn't specify, so I chose to go with Post-Stasis Kix rather than TCW era Kix. Both are swoon-worthy. My goal is to keep all of these under 1000 words. I wonder how I'll do, lol.
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The fall of the Empire, and the rise of the New Republic, has made you a very wealthy person. Wealthy enough that you, and a group of your friends, were able to repurpose a Lucrehulk Class droid control ship into something a little more useful. 
As of now, and with the permission of the New Republic, the ship is home to over two million displaced individuals (many of Alderaanian descent), it’s also home to a massive shopping center, and is the home point for this sector's Bounty Hunters Guild.
It is a point of some pride, yes.
And, at this point, it basically runs itself. Which means that you only have to do a little bit of work to make sure it stays running smoothly. Which, for you, means that you have to play nice with the politicians in the New Republic.
But that only happens every so often.
Which means you’re able to focus on more important things.
Like writing your novel…and spending time with your boyfriend.
Both are very important to you, though you’re not ashamed to admit that Kix, your boyfriend, is far more important to you than anything else that you own. Including the ship that you currently call home.
He travels a lot, and you don’t mind, because in the end he always comes back to you. 
Speaking of said boyfriend, he said that he was going to take you on a date tonight.
You tilt your head back to catch a glimpse of the chrono on the wall, and you release a sigh, though there’s a smile on your face. It is well past closing time for all but the seediest of restaurants, which means no going out tonight.
Ah well. Such is life.
You flick your gaze back to the first draft of your novel, and you make sure to save your work before you set it to the side.
Time to make dinner, and if you’re lucky, Kix will join you for dinner. 
You meander into your kitchen and you put some water on the stove for the pasta, before you dig around your pantry. Might as well make a proper meal.
You’re about to put the pasta in the boiling water when the door to your suite slides open. Absently you pour the whole box into the water, before leaning back to look into the main part of your suite, and a bright smile crosses your face.
Kix is gorgeous. 
Tall and broad, with thick curly hair and an equally thick beard. The tattoo under his hair just barely peeks out at his temple.
You’d quite happily follow him into hell, if he asked.
Not that he ever would.
“Welcome home,” You chirp from the kitchen, “I started pasta for dinner, do you want cheesy bread or garlic. I have both because I have no self control when it comes to bread. It’s a problem.” You check the water and then leave your posting in the kitchen to walk over to him. 
He sets his helmet on the table next to the door, and then casts his gaze to you, something akin to guilt crosses his face when he takes you in, “I’m late.”
“I don’t mind.”
“You got all dressed up for me.” Kix says, his lips turning down.
“I got dressed up for myself. The fact that you also appreciate it is just a bonus.” You grin at him, and slide into his arms, your arms twining around his neck, “Now. Garlic bread or cheesy bread. This is a super important decision, Kix.”
His arms tightens around your hips, “I’m sorry, love.”
“It’s just bread, Kix. It’s not really that important. I can make both.”
He laughs softly, but there’s something almost broken in his voice, “I’m sorry for missing our date. Again.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s really, really not. You deserve better than…this.” He vaguely gestures to himself.
“I don’t want better. I want you.”
“Even though I neglect you?”
You slide your hands to his face, and you lightly brush your fingers under his eyes, “Hold on there, mister. You don’t neglect me. I have never once felt neglected.”
He tilts your head back, “How can you say that?”
“Kix,” You grin at him, “You still don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
You stand on your toes to brush your lips against his, “I’d wait forever for you. You’re worth it. I’d follow you into hell if you asked.”
He exhales sharply, his breath washing across your face, “I love you.”
You beam at him, “I know, I’m very lovable.”
Kix arches a single brow, and he moves his fingers to your sides, lightly tickling you, pulling a startled giggle from your lips, “Is that all you have to say?” He asks, a smile playing on his lips now.
You hop into his arms, his arms sliding securely around your waist to support you, as you kiss him deeply, “I love you too. Always. Forever.”
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ettelenethelien · 3 months
Text
Beleriand Dashboard Simulator • part 3
Part one, part two
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🔆 hador-lomin following
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1 722 notes
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♟️narrond following
wait, are @turin-deactivated4841207 and @outlaw-neithan-deactivated4880911 the same person as @mormegil?
⚔️ adanedhel
Not really my business to say, seeing as I'm neither of these, but people have reasons for changing blogs/names/URLs. If this was true and if I was that person I would be very annoyed at whoever posted such a thing for everyone to see.
#please take it down for general safety of people who might need it
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⚓ nenil-noriel
I am sick and tired of Gondolindhrim complaining they're bored. How about you try living here and fighting orcs for a while? I'd be glad to switch.
👤 house-of-the-mole following
I'll let you know we fought alongside everyone in the Nirnaeth.
⚓ nenil-noriel
Sure, do pat yourself on the back for doing the bare minimum.
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👰🏼‍♀️ celebrin following
Guess who got engaged today?!!! 💕💍🥰
#no one even got ordered to bring a Silmaril lol #so I dare say it went perfectly #!!! #can you tell I'm excited?
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🎼noldolanteyy following
thinking of changing my url (for pretty obvious reasons)
#doriath kinslaying
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🎼musiquendil-former-noldolanteyy following
No, really, this is the worst time ever to be a musician. I'm not pretending that the way he let us down is in any way worse than everything else Maglor Feanorion has done, but...
Can we separate art from the artist when the art itself is so interwined with the artist's deeds? Can we appreciate the noldolante itself ignoring that it was entirely a lie, regrets that apparently didn't stop him from committing the same evil over again?
But it is impossible to cut oneself away from all influence Maglor Feanorion has had on our music. And even keeping to the apolitical pieces, should we ignore the person of the artist? Does it help anything?
It's like the famous Fëanorian lamps debate all over again. Do we change the name since we're uncomfortable using it? Do we try to forget who was their creator - but is that even ethical, no matter what evil he wrought? Or is that maybe wrong? Maybe, if we use the lamps, we should be discomforted?
#I really don't know how to approach this
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👰🏼‍♀️celebrin following
So, we've arrived at the havens. I thank you all for the condolences, thoughts and prayers... I still don't know what to do from now on, but I guess maybe I can finally rest a bit. And mourn.
To all the people asking, yes, my husband and son are thankfully okay; this is the one silver lining. My son seems to have made a friend already...
#personal #gondolin
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🕊️queenelwing-unofficial
putting this under cut so I can delete this later, but please have a passionate rant about how a girl actually feels about receiving missives from the people who killed her parents.
read more
#honestly why do they presume I might want to actually meet with them #though tbh now that the anger's worn of I'm mostly afraid #and of course my husband *has* to be gone right now... #I'll probably delete all this tomorrow but I couldn't help myself
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minkkumaz · 11 months
Note
hi omg your riwoo fic... TEARS WERE SHED... if you're open to requests can i request an angst sungho fic (with fluffy ending though) HSJSHSH thank u
TALK TO THE WALL
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fighting with sungho was tiring, and it's not something you normally do. when things get a little hard to handle, maybe you just need to step out and see what happens in the morning.
PAIRING park sungho x fem!reader WC 0.6k TAGS established relationship. angst. fluff. fighting. yelling. making up. OMI NOTE omg hi anonn i hope this was good for you. whenever i think of angst with happy ending i always think of couples fighting LOL
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maybe you understood the true meaning of eternity, as you had been arguing with sungho for the past hour or two. it didn’t end, and his words continued to cut you deep, leaving a gash of things he didn’t know could come out of his mouth.
it was silly really, couldn’t you understand that he was busy? so why did it feel like he was ignoring you on purpose? you wondered if the spark between the two of you finally became dull like a burnt out match. 
the louder he got, the quieter he became. to be honest, you had stopped listening. 
“why can’t you just listen to me, y/n! i’m tired, i can’t deal with this right now.” he shouted at your shaky figure.
“i didn’t ask you to deal with shit, sungho! i haven’t seen you in so fucking long is it so wrong to ask for some time with you?” you cry out.
“i just can’t keep dedicating my world to you y/n, i need time for myself too.” 
“but it’s been months. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time we cuddled? fuck i even forgot what it felt like to kiss you. don’t you understand how frustrating that is?” 
“god this is so stupid. you were never this clingy what the hell happened?” he groaned, running a hand through his sleek black hair, still a bit messy from his long day.
“oh, so now i’m clingy? is that what i get for missing my stupid boyfriend?” you choke out, wiping tears with your already wet sleeve.
“don’t make me feel like the bad guy, y/n.”
“i’m not trying to make you feel anything except for maybe a little sympathy for how i’m feeling.” you bit the flesh inside your cheek.
“you just don’t get it, do you?” he scoffed.
“talk to a fucking wall, sungho.” you storm off into your shared room, making sure to lock the door behind you. anything he said to you while you turned away from him didn’t settle in your head. 
more tears fell down your flushed cheeks as you snuck into the covers, muffling your sobs with the white sheet. things weren’t always like this, in fact, they were never like this. you didn’t want to imagine your everyday life without seeing his handsome face. 
sleep came easy as you felt numb. no knock on the door, no sign of life outside of your bedroom. you wondered if he left you and you’d come out to an empty apartment. 
the next morning you woke up with a raging headache, and the light from your blinds illuminating your post cry glow. sungho’s smell already began to disappear from the pillows after one night, this stung your heart a little.
rubbing your puffy eyes, you slowly got up from your bed and trudged to the door. there was something blocking light on the otherside, but you were surprised to see sungho fall backwards upon opening. he shot awake, looking around before meeting you.
“baby why are you sleeping at the door? don’t you have practice?” you muttered.
“i told jaehyun i wouldn’t make it today. we’re not supposed to go to bed angry, my love. i didn’t want to leave you alone..”
“so we can continue our argument? no thanks.” you tried to push his body out of the doorframe but he wouldn’t move, instead standing to meet you.
“i don’t like it when we argue, y/n. i was out of line and should’ve took a second to consider things from your perspective.” he takes his hands up to your swollen face, frowning as you furrow your eyebrows.
“i just missed you, a lot.”
“you deserve so much, and i’m sorry i haven’t been able to give that to you recently. let me make it up to you today, pretty.” he kisses your forehead before pulling you into a hug.  “love you, sung. please let’s talk and not yell next time.” you sigh at the familiar scent embracing you once again.
“never in a million years would i yell at you again.”
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reimeichan · 3 months
Text
DID is weird because I find myself gathering shit on critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy 14 and then go "why tf am I doing this I hate this so much" and questioning all my life choices that led up to this point where I'm wasting my life away gathering and gathering and gathering materials with no end in sight and then switch to doing dungeons to level up my combat classes, 30 minutes later I'm like "actually I wanna go back to gathering I dont even know why I was running dungeons I'm not a fan of doing dungeons", then 15 minutes later going "god fucking dammit I'm doing it again I fucking hate gathering, back to dungeons" and then-
Like I know to anyone who doesn't know that we're a system this sounds like we just keep doing shit we don't enjoy doing in the game but it's definitely kinda amusing/annoying how we keep accidentally switching with each other when we're playing and are unable to just let whoever is fronting enjoy doing what they do lol.
Oh, and it's also funny how we might switch mid-raid and suddenly have to scramble to remember what all our buttons do while internally screaming trying to also not die to the boss.
In the past it was a LOT more frustrating though as we didn't realize why we'd be enjoying the game then all of a sudden go "I actually really hate doing this and I don't know why I keep doing this". Made it really easy to get mad at myself and then just drop whatever game I was playing, not because I wasn't having fun but because it was so confusing trying to understand why I kept doing things I didn't enjoy. I thought it was like, a weird need to minmax and thus doing stuff I hated just to eek out every little bit of experience/money/whatever, but that didn't explain why I would earnestly try to stop to try to enjoy the game however I wanted to only to keep going back to the same things that I hated doing over and over.
Anyways, it's kinda silly but knowing that I have DID and these other versions of me has really helped my frustration in this regard. And I know I'm talking about video games in this post, but this also reflects other aspects of my life, from friendships to work to even just grocery shopping. I'm now more accepting of these weird inconsistencies about myself and it's made understanding my life and my actions so much less confusing and frustrating.
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chrissy-kaos · 6 months
Note
Hey!!
I just wanted to tell you I think it’s so cool how you continue to play hockey even if it’s a beer league! I mean I don’t know what good adult leagues there are when you’re older really 😅
I miss playing hockey so much and I always just figured it would be impossible to get taken seriously by judgmental fucks. I love that you make history even though you’re just yourself. I do sort of despise some of the things I’ve heard in the locker room too tbh.
It’s so amazing to see you gear up and get sweaty. It makes me some how feel seen too and I feel like I need to just figure it out lol. I know your kicking ass out there (cus I saw u posted ur stats) lol 💜 hope you have a good rest of your weekend 💜
Thank you! Yea posting about me playing wasn’t something i was really going to do. But everyone here seems to love that content and they continue to ask for it. So I’m going to keep posting it. I don’t think I’m anything special or making history. I’m just a girl that wants to play hockey. That’s it. If I inspire others to play than that’s awesome! Because hockey is amazing and growing the game is important! With that said I’m going to share a bit of a story with you. So bear with me.. I tend to over share 😅
Hockey is something I’ll never give up. For a long time my life centered around it. I’m fortunate enough to live in a town that’s had multiple pro teams and a great hockey community. I used to coach/play for one of the teams before my transition. When I was debating if I was going to transition or not hockey played a part in it for sure. I didn’t want to never play again. But I was scared that people wouldn’t accept me and all that. I felt like majority of the community liked me and enjoyed my coaching. But you never actually know how someone feels about it, ya know.
When I finally made my decision I was coaching full time and I decided to step away from hockey not necessarily for good but until I was comfortable with myself. So I resigned and hung my skates up. Then started my transition. It was a little after two years into my transition when I decided to step on the ice again. I had played some roller with a few friends and messed around stick handling in the house but I never went back to the rink.
(I actually find this hilarious 😂.) I seen they had a skate and shot and decided I’d go to it. Not skating for two years I needed to get my legs back anyway. So I show up to the rink. It’s still all the same people that worked there when I did. I walked up to the counter to pay and my friend Josh was working and said “hi ma’am, here for stick time?.” He had no idea I started to transition. I said “hi, Josh.” He looked at me like I was crazy and asked if he knew me. I gave him the money and said “you might” then walked away. He stopped me to tell me where the women’s locker room is. I smiled and said thank you.
I skated like crap. To be expected tho. After the time was up I headed to the locker’s. Josh stopped me and asked how I knew him. So I told him who I was and it blew his mind 😂. He congratulated me and said he had no idea. He told me he was thinking to himself damn this girl is good(I actually suck lol). He was like who the fuck is she?. He thought I was one of the college players. Our local college and pro team share the rink together. Anyway he was completely blown away. The interaction was great and positive. He was very supportive. After that I started coming once a week and more people realized who I was.
Everyone was extremely supportive and accepting. They use my chosen name and pronouns. Even offered me a coaching position again. I declined for reasons. But the hockey community in general is amazing. I felt comfortable enough to hop in our league. It’s our house A league so all the best players current pros, ex pros and d1-3 guys. It’s extremely competitive. I’m still the only girl ☠️ lol
Now I can’t speak for any other community but at no point in time have I been treated bad or different. I’m given the same respect as everyone else. Do guys talk in the lockers probably but they are nothing but respectful and courteous to me. If you want to get out and play don’t let anyone stop you.
Hockey is for everyone and you deserve to play too! Just go for it! You never know unless you try. Hockey has one of the best lgbtqiia+ communities in all of sports. There are teams like @teamtrans-icehockey where you can play with people like us who understand the difficulties of being trans/nb/queer in sports. I’ve played with teams trans a few times and they are an incredible group of people! I highly recommend checking them out! 
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(I took this pic the on the way to the rink that first time back. Don’t mind the filter and how pudgy I am ���)
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