#i live far away from us but the development gives me hope | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

milaisreading · 2 months

Note

Imagine Crossdresser! reader passing out during an interview live while the rest of the team watches it lol

🌱🩷: I wrote something similar to what your request is! Hope you like it🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her, but she is crossdressing as a guy, keep that in mind! Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

'This is so annoying. And I can already imagine the jokes Ness and Kaiser will be making at my expense for this interview.' (Y/n) thought as she glanced at one of the cameras. It took everything in her willpower not to yawn as she knew everyone who follows BBLKTV was watching this. The sleep-deprivation pretty much stopped any nervousness she could feel at the moment. The past few weeks weren't that kind to her, from the constant back and forth between Rin and Shidou's fights, watching over Kunigami and the rest of Blue locks BM players, to her parents and the JFA scolding her to be on her best behavior, (Y/n) was ready to call the quits.

'It's like I am their parent or something.' She thought as the interviewer entered the room.

'Not to mention that my period is about to start soon. Do I have any pads left?' The girl thought, looking over at Anri, who was standing behind the camera and sending her a thumbs up.

"Hello, (L/n). I will be interviewing you today, thanks for taking the time of your day for this." The man said warmly, causing (Y/n) to give him back a small smile.

"Thank you for inviting me, Nihei-san. It's a honor to be here." The girl got up and bowed at the man before sitting down again.

'All this media training will be the end of me.' The girl thought as she looked back at the man, who let out a sigh of relief.

'Thank God it's not another Itoshi Sae situation.' The man thought as he looked through his papers.

"So, you don't need to be nervous or anything. The questions are very easy and you can take your time to answer them, there is no time limit or anything. And, the cameras are filming right now, just a warning." Nihei said as he pointed at the camera behind him. (Y/n) slowly nodded her head, blinking the blurriness away and focusing back on the man.

"Of course. Thank you very much, I will keep the things in mind. And the staff already warned me about the cameras as well, I am very greatful for that."

'The amount of times I would have yawned...'

"Alright, let's start then. Ok?"

"Of course."

Back at Blue Lock...

"Kaiser, I swear if you don't move away I will kick you." Kunigami warned as the blonde smirked, still standing in front to the TV.

"I don't know. I like it here a lot." Isagi rolled his eyes as Yukimiya and Kurona sighed in annoyance, while Hiori was whispering something to Gagamaru.

"Nobody wants to see your flat ass, Kaiser."

"His ass isn't flat, Yoichi!"

"Shut up, Ness!" Noa was about to interject, but stopped when he saw Hiori and Gagamaru tackle the blonde to the ground.

"Shut it! (Y/n) is speaking!" Yukimiya yelled as Isagi and Kurona kept their focus on the TV.

"So, how was your experience with Bastard München so far? The fans would like to hear from the player who is in that stratum now."

"It's been great so far. I am grateful that we have a coach as experienced as Noel Noa to help us, and I am happy to I am able to play withgreat teammates. Especially the ones from Blue lock, they all progressed tremendously." (Y/n) answered back as the boys blushed a little.

"Hahaha, what can I say. I did progress quite good, actually." Yukimiya boasted as Hiori chimed in.

"So did I. (Y/n) even said he was proud of Isagi and I after the Ubers match."

"Right. It's even better for me since (Y/n) has seen my developments from the beginning." Isagi added in as Kurona thought over his words.

"(Y/n) has said the same thing to me 2 nights ago. He was even sad that I couldn't continue playing for the rest of the Uvers match."

"I got compliments on blocking Barou's shots as well! It felt really nice." Gagamaru admitted. Kunigami cleared his throat, looking nervous to everyone's surprise.

"I got told that my defense got better after the Barcha match."

Ness and Kaiser kept quiet as they spoke about the player, feeling a little jealous that they never got any compliments.

"Whatever. He probably only compliments the Blue Lock players." Kaiser rolled his eyes.

"Not really. I got complimented as well. (Y/n) also added in he likes my hair." Grim told Kaiser.

"Same for me. He complimented me after the Manshine match since my passes helped him a lot to score his 2nd goal then." Sachs added in.

"What?!" Kaiser asked in disbelief, then looked at Gesner.

"And you?"

"He complimented me on my strength when we were both on the gym." Gesner said nervously as Kaiser looked at the trio as if they had betrayed him.

"This isn't fair..." Ness pouted while looking back at the Blue Lock team.

"Sucks to suck." Kurona chuckled.

PXG...

Now, Rin tried (and failed) to pretend that he didn't care about the whole interview, but he couldn't. He cared way too much. So that's why he was now sat down in front of thr TV, ignoring whatever Tokimitsu, Karasu, and Shidou were saying.

"Shut up!! I want to hear what he is saying!" Charles yelled at the group while Loki tried to calm him down.

"Calm down,you all."

"While we are at the topic of foreign teams." The group stopped and looked at the TV again.

"Is there any foreign player you would want to play with in a team?"

(Y/n) blinked at the reporter and stayed quiet as she thought it over.

"Boooriiing. He would never pick a foreign player over one of us. Especially me." Karasu smirked, earning a few glares from the others.

"You mean me! I am the one he said he could barely keep up with during our first match." Shidou butted in.

"And yet you still lost." Karasu jabbed back.

"Shut it! He would be pick me. I am the number 1 here, after all." Rin rolled his eyes.

"Being the 1 isn't the only thing that matters, Rin. Besides, (Y/n) admires my dribbling."

Charles rolled his eyes at the team and cleared his throat.

"Please don't." Loki begged.

"Yet the interviewer cares about none of you. (Y/n) will definitely pick me here-"

"I really enjoyed playing against Julian Loki during one of our selection rounds. While I don't know his current abilities yet, I would definitely pick him as a teammate. He is very easy to get along with." (Y/n)'s answer quickly shut up the group. The Blue Lock team kept quiet as they looked at Loki while Charles looked at him in utter disbelief.

"You stole him away!" The French player said as Loki looked at him in disbelief.

"I did not?! Besides, he knows me for longer than he knows you."

"So now you are showing off?!"

"Are you stupid?!"

Ubers...

"(Y/n) should gave asked me for some fashion advice. Why would he wear the Bastard uniform during an international interview of all times." Aryu tsked in disapproval as he looked at the TV. Niko rolled his eyes at the comment and looked at the taller player.

"How does that matter now? He is having a interview about Blue lock, not a fashion show."

Snuffy chuckled at the younger players comment and ruffled his hair.

"Calm down, Niko. But, he does have a point, Aryu. (Y/n) was told to wear that, after all.

"They purposely wanted him to look ugly." Aryu pouted.

"Will all three of you shut up? I am trying to listen." Barou groaned as Lorenzo looked at him in amusement.

"Didn't thing a king like you was invested in stuff like this."

"Shut it-"

"As you are aware, the whole world is looking forward to your final match against PXG. But, the fans would like to know which game was so far the most exhausting one."

"Hmm... that's an easy one, definitely the one we had against Ubers. While Barcha and Manshine were challenging as well, the Ubers one outweighs them a lot. Not only did the team already have good and experienced players like Don Lorenzo, and their coach Marc Snuffy. But, my own teammates have evolved quite a lot. While I was annoyed that the end of the match kept getting delayed, I was very happy to see them give their all on the field."

The trio kept quiet as they blushed while looking at the TV. Snuffy and Lorenzo silently laughing at their reactions.

Manshine...

"(Y/n) looks a lot paler than I remember him to be. Don't you two think so?" Reo asked, looking back at Chigiri and Nagi for an answer. The redhead narrowed his eyes and inspected the captain before slowly nodding his head.

"It sure looks like it. I wonder if he is sick or something." Chigiri said in worry while Nagi kept quiet.

"I hope Bastard aren't stressing him out too much." Reo rolled his eyes as he thought about the German team.

"We all pretty much witnessed your hat trick during the match against Manshine city, how did you feel back then? Excitement? Confusion?"

The three looked at the TV, silently waiting for an answer.

"Well it was a mix of both, but mainly confusion. I really wasn't sure, and still I am not sure what had possessed me om the field back then. But, I am grateful for the chances Isagi, Kurona, and Sachs-san gave me to score."

"I can only imagine, especially when you got such a high bid offer from Re Al right after."

"That was a surprise to me as well. I didn't imagine they would notice me like that." (Y/n) chuckled as Nagi and Reo facepalmed.

"He really needs to work on his confidence."

"Nothing changed with him."

"It's cute. He reminds me of a puppy." Chigiri laughed as a blush coated his cheeks.

Barcha...

"Keep it down you two. You won't be able to hear anything." Lavinho said as he looked at Otoya and Bachira, which immediately shut them up.

"We didn't see (Y/n) in so long! Can you blame us?" Otoya said as Bachira nodded along.

"Do you still stand by your statement that the game against Barcha was your favorite one?" The trio looked back at the TV, waiting impatiently at the answer.

"Yes. It was probably more relaxing since it was our first one and, personally, I had a lot of adrenaline rushing through my body. Also, Lavinho-san made the match more interesting with his antics." (Y/n) laughed as the Brazilian laughed along.

"Finally someone who understands!"

"And this is why we should have kidnapped him out of the Bastard stratum."

"Bachira, no." Otoya said in a scolding manner.

Back with (Y/n)...

'Can this be over already? I van barely keep my eyes open.' (Y/n) thought, trying to keep her focus on the questions and the interviewer, but that focus was slowly slipping away.

"We have a few more questions and then we are done. Are you ready to answer the next one?"

"Sure-" Before (Y/n) could finish her answer, her vision turned black and she fell unconscious.

"(Y/n)!" Anri yelled in fear as the interviewer caught the girl before she could fall face first on the floor.

"He is fine. He just fainted. Turn off the cameras." Nihei said as the camera man quickly turned everything off. Anri ran to (Y/n)'s side, sighing in relief when she saw the girl was still breathing.

"Bring me some water and call a medic." Anri told the interviewer then looked back at (Y/n) in worry.

'I knew this whole interview was a bad idea. And the PIFA and Re Al higher-ups are watching this as well. The last thing I need is for (Y/n) to get scolded for being exhausted.'

Panic in the stratums pretty much started the moment they saw the girl faint and the cameras got cut off. Ego felt of course worried, and along with Noa and the other coaches was immediately at the medics office.

"So, he was exhausted?" Loki asked as the doctor nodded his head.

"Pretty much. Lack of sleep caused his body to crash. Aside from that, I have noticed he was under a lot more stress the past few weeks, either caused by the games or the JFA, I can't tell right now."

"What is the next best thing I can do now? I am his coach, after all." Noa spoke up.

"Just let him rest for a few days. If possible, delay the match against PXG for a week or so."

"Sure. Ego-san-"

"Consider it done, Loki." Ego said back, interrupting the French player.

"Also, I would like you all to keep the players at bay for now. Just let him sleep, visitors will only cause more harm now."

"Don't worry about that."

"We will handle it." Chris and Lavinho nodded along as Snuffy patted Noa's back.

"The boys need to practice, anyway. So keeping them away will be easy."

The doctor nodded his head and looked back at Ego.

"Anri is currently with him, so you don't need to worry. Should something happen I will immediately inform you. But, as I said, everything will be fine. He just needs rest."

"Alright." Ego said back, a little bit relieved that (Y/n) wasn't in a life-threatening condition or anything. As the doctor left, Loki and the adults silently thought over their plans to tell the other players.

"It will be quite a headache. Especially since Nagi, Reo, and Chigiri are so stubborn." Chris groaned as Lavinho shrugged his shoulders.

"Just give them punishments if they don't listen. What else can we do."

"True, but let's try being reasonable first." Snuffy added in.

"Lucky for me I have the most unreasonable players in my team." Noa butted in as Loki chuckled a little.

"You clearly didn't meet mine yet."

"I don't care how unreasonable they are, if they defy the rule, inform me. I will give them a proper punishment then." Ego told the coaches in a serious manner.

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killsaki · 1 year

Text

old gold ☆ shinichiro won’t give you a chance ‘cause he doesn’t want you to waste your youth.. but he and his friends have never shared the same values.

takeomi akashi x female!reader x wakasa imaushi

3.7k words. | read on ao3. | minors dni.

cw/tw : spit roast, fingering, unprotected sex/creampie, exhibitionism (heard not seen), pet names, praise, light degradation, slight burn play, age gaps, reader wears a skirt, corruption kink.

“you look so pretty in an apron.”

shinichiro glares playfully at you out of the corner of his eyes, a smile creeping up on his face before he shakes his head.

“you know how they’ll talk to me if i burn this.”

you put on a fake pout, swinging your feet from where you’re sitting on the countertop watching as he finishes preparing dinner for the swarm of young men that were piled in the living room.

“it’s not like you’ve never burned anything before.”

he sucks his teeth at that, a small smile still lingering on his lips. you know you didn’t have much time left alone with him, that mikey would come around the corner looking for you with that chilling expression like he always does when you’ve snuck off to flirt it up with his big brother.

“and they don’t let me live it down until i cook for them agai—“

“shinichiro, let’s get married.” you cut him off and he just laughs. it’s like a broken record the way he brushes you off, treating you as if you have some school kid crush on him. like you’re not someone of legal drinking age with a fully developed brain. “i’m not a little girl.”

“i know you’re not.” he sighs through his nose, eyes leaving the stove top to look over at you and your feet still against the wooden cabinet door. “but you have so much time left to do whatever it is you want.”

“what i want to do is you.”

“you need to have fun.” he raises his eyebrows, he speaks the words softly but you know the intent behind them is firm. “you’re a beautiful girl, you’ve got the world in your palm. don’t let a relationship while you’re young tie you down.”

you want to open your mouth to answer but before you get the chance, you’re interrupted by the sound of mitsuya swinging himself around the corner. “smiley’s in here talkin’ shit about you not finishing the tournament.”

“i’m coming.” you quickly reply, hoping he’ll go away, but he doesn’t. you hop off the counter to follow after him, chewing at the inside of your cheek in frustration.

“two years.” you hear shinichiro speak from behind you and you spin on your heels. “in two years, if you’ve had all the fun you can handle and still want to get married, i’ll be here.”

there’s a smile on your face before you realize it’s there. “you’ll wait for me?”

“i don’t have anything else to do.” he shrugs and you don’t comment on how he doesn’t come off nearly as cool as he probably thought. “just workin’ at the shop.”

you nod, ignoring the calls of your name from the other room. “and cooking meals for us,” you add on, taking another step towards the living room before calling from behind the wall. “like what you’re burning right now.”

“shit—” you wish you could’ve seen his eyes go wide, and you nearly go back to fawn, until another call of your name rings off the walls and your already thin patience dissolves.

“i’m fucking coming!”

/ / /

“is it even unlocked?” you huff, irritated by the summer night’s heat as you walk in front of your two closest friends towards the all too familiar bike shop.

“should be, he said he’s hanging out with his old friends.” mikey answers.

“you should not be saying that.” draken laughs, and you know it’s meant as a shot at you.

“i only have a thing for shin’, not all old men.” you tsk.

“didn’t you tell inupi that he didn’t meet your age requirement?” draken teases but mikey is far from amused.

“my brother is not old, you—“ the shorter one starts.

“oh, it’s open.” you cut him off as you swing the door and to avoid his annoyed expression you rush inside. “shin’!” you sing, practically skipping through the bike shop looking for the man in question.

“slow down!” draken chides from behind you, muttering something about you knocking something over.

“why do you get to be the first one to say hi? he’s my brother.” mikey adds on and all you can do is laugh as you enter the hallway to the office near the back where the light shines under the door.

“‘cause he likes my face better than yours,” you swing the door open, sticking your tongue out at mikey. “obviously.”

it takes you a full minute to process who it is in front of you when you finally look and once you do, your jaw all but drops. through all the time you’ve spent as mikey’s friend, all the years you’ve followed shinichiro around, you’ve only caught glances of the old higher ups from the first generation of the black dragons. and aren’t they a sight to see.

shinichiro pulls you from whatever thoughts were forming as you eyed the other older men with a greeting.

“mikey messed up something on his bike.” you blurt, biting your lip to keep anything else from leaving your mouth. you point with your thumb towards the boys who have come to stand behind you, only to have the one you named slap it down.

“she did it, not me.”

you scoff at his lie, elbowing him to earn a nudge that sends you stumbling forward.

“i’ll look at it.” shinichiro pushes himself from where he’d been leaning against the desk, looking over to his white haired friend. “benkei, come pull the garage open?”

you watch him cross the room with hearts in your eyes, leaning into the door so your shoulder is pressed flat against it. you catch sight of his silver chain glinting in the low light, his black shirt only making it more prominent. you start to back out of his way alongside mikey, but the blonde doesn’t allow you to pass the door frame.

“you’re not gonna talk about how hot my brother is the whole time,” he pushes you back in the room, turning away and telling you from down the hall to, ‘go sit down.’

“my friends don’t bite.” shin’ smiles a promise and it comforts you slightly, especially when you catch his scent as he passes by—but not enough to turn around and face them. not until the door closes in your face and you can feel the burn of stares on your back.

“we really don’t bite,” is spoken from the couch following the sound of a lighter flickering.

“okay,” is all you manage back, awkwardly. you avoid looking at them in favor of staring at the spot where shinichiro had been leaning as you approach it.

“you shin’s girl?” makes you giggle as you hop up on the cold wood, thankful for the contrast to the warmth of your skin. but you still bite your lips, looking up at them as you debate how to reply.

maybe the whole first generation of black dragons were attractive, you think. surely draken couldn’t have been right about you just having a thing for older men. your eyes drag from the long-haired man with the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen to the more rugged one with a unique dye job of his own. you surely knew their names… somewhere in your mind.

“nah,” is what you settle on, shrugging. “not yet.”

the longer haired one says your name like something about your response made something click for him. “he said somethin’ about you before.”

you nod slowly, curiosity suddenly eating at you but like always, you’re interrupted before you can pry.

“been havin’ fun?” the one you’re starting to realise is akashi asks another question, and you only shake your head. maybe shinichiro told them about your deal. they were some of his oldest friends, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to believe. “you smoke?”

“oh no, not tobacco.” you shake your head, wrinkling your nose at the memory of how it’d tasted when you’d taken a hit from hanma shuji’s cigar months back.

“c’mon,” he calls you to the couch with a wave of his hand, watching intently as you hesitate, looking towards the closed door. shinichiro wouldn’t leave you with them if they would hurt you. slowly, you make your way to stand in front of him. he leans his head against his shoulder to blow the smoke away from your face when you stop, giving you a view of his defined jaw and that scar running down his cheek.

“one hit won’t hurt.” he looks back at you and holds the cigarette up for you to grab. with shaking fingers, you take it from his fingers. you can practically taste the smoke off of his scent alone. he reeks like a chainsmoker but somehow it’s not enough to make you repulsed.

“you’re such a pretty lil’ thing,” he mutters, leaning forward and reaching out with rough fingers to skim up the side of your thigh as you take a short drag. “it’d be a shame not to show you a good time while we got ya.” your face burns at the touch, and whatever expression you make from the unexpected words mixed with the sting of nicotine hitting your chest makes him chuckle. “that’s if you can handle it.”

you cough out the smoke, quickly moving the cigarette away from where it pollutes your air. “i can handle a lot,” you say coolly, grimacing at the aftertaste. “cigarette smoke just isn’t on that list.”

he chuckles and reaches to grab the cigarette from your hold. or so you thought, his hand instead wraps around your wrist, pulling you down gently to straddle his lap.

despite his gentle guiding, you manage to be clumsy enough that ashes are dropped on the top of your thigh— the burning cherry falling with it making you suck in a sharp breath, hand twisting into his shirt and eyes fluttering shut all the same. he hums and apologizes under his breath, adjusting you on his thighs as he reaches around you to the coffee table for his lighter— his chest pressing up against yours and free arm wrapping around the small of your back to secure you in the process.

“‘ll be more careful with ya, promise.” his stubble brushes against your neck as he leans back against the cushions, fingers fumbling against the plastic and the other trying to be delicate not to break the paper. you’re not sure where the confidence comes from, but you grab the lighter from his hold and flicker the flame for him, not once breaking eye contact as he places the butt back between his lips and leans in to catch the fire. your hand falls after the flame dies, watching him take a drag as your own breath gets caught in your throat when his free hand starts to dance up the side of your body.

once he finishes inhaling, he licks his lips and you feel something heat in the pit of your stomach at the sight—shinichiro wants you to experience being young and wild, surely he wouldn’t be mad if it was with his friends. smoke is blown across your face and before you have a moment to react, the hand at your side wraps around your jaw and holds it, but doesn’t pull you forward—you move on your own.

you press your lips into his and the taste of his tongue makes you whine before you adjust to it, your hands moving from where they’d fallen limp to wrap around his neck. the hold on your face disappears and then you feel the same rough palm gliding under your skirt, squeezing at the soft give of your ass. his mouth moves from your own, down to your neck where you shiver at the way he seems to find all your most sensitive spots with ease, sucking and licking at them. you’re so lost in the feeling that you don’t even notice when he moves his hand again, not until his thumb is pressing at your clit through your panties making you let out a soft whisper of a curse and you’re bucking your hips into his touch.

so caught up in how akashi consumes your senses, it takes far too long to recognize the other man’s hand— the man you’d completely forgot was still lingering in the room—is tugging at the end of your skirt.

“c’mere.” imaushi speaks low, his gaze dragging from your chest back up to your eyes before trying again to beckon you over with a nod of his head and even as akashi pulls from where he’d likely been putting marks into your skin, you hesitate. “it’ll be fun.” he finally convinces you and with akashi’s help, you’re crawling off his lap only to realize with a flushed face that you’re now stuck between them on your hands and knees.

the long-haired man’s hands are much softer in comparison to those trailing along the backside of your thighs. imaushi wraps his hand under your jaw the same way akashi had done, and you realize that he also waits for you to close the gap between the two of you on your own. low eyes glancing between yours and your likely swollen lips until you reach to connect with his.

his lips are softer than akashi’s, you note, his tongue sweeter. he moans lightly as you suck on the muscle, his grasp loosening in favor of wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you in closer. behind you, akashi thumbs over your slit, pressing the wet fabric deeper into your folds with each pass. you’re sure you make a noise when he starts to circle at your clit, one that imaushi mimics tauntingly before he pulls your shirt up, using the hand not pinning you to him to slide under your bra and tweak at your nipples.

one of akashi’s hands work your underwear to the side, a low “shit, baby” falls from his mouth and he mimics his same movements, teasing your clit and entrance until you’re making an even bigger mess for him, the sound of him gliding through your slit obvious in the otherwise quiet room. the need to have them do something— anything else becomes overbearing.

“stop teasing,” nearly comes out as a whisper when you pull from the kiss. but you know they both hear you because imaushi looks past you to where his friend is sitting and they both laugh shortly at your expense.

“not teasin’, pretty.” the man infront of you turns his hold so his thumb is under the side of your jaw, the rest of his fingers wrapper around your throat. “we don’t rush things like the little boys you run ‘round with.”

and as to prove his point, akashi pushes a single finger into you, taking his time to press it against your softest wall that he didn’t have to guess to find. if not for it being held up, you’re sure your jaw would drop as the high whine vibrates through your throat. another is added and you’ve lost a sense of where you are, your eyes roll back and you’re pushing your hips to try and force his pace but the hand that you know is holding his still lit cigarette grabs the fat of your ass, holding you in place for him to fuck his fingers into you how he sees fit.

you can hear the sound of imaushi undoing his pants below you but you don’t register why until he brings his mouth to your ear. “spit on it for me, princess.”

obediently, you do, moving with shaking arms to pucker your lips and drop spit onto the head of his cock. when akashi adds the third finger, your arms completely give out and imaushi’s hold isn’t as strong as you’d thought because you fall right onto his lap. you can’t complain, not with the pleasure coiling in your stomach, added with the sight of him pumping his length with your spit coating him.

“how you feelin’, lil’ baby?” the words float from the other end of the couch.

“s’good, ‘kashi, fuck.” he curls his fingers and pushes them deeper than before on your last word making you squeal.

“takeomi,” he huffs and you feel the weight by your feet shift. you’re sure you’d be able to pick up the sound of him unzipping his own pants but imaushi’s hand distracts you with a guiding push towards his now fully hard cock.

you’re granted the sight of his lean abdomen when he slides his own shirt up away from where his dick rests against it. “‘nd call me waka, yeah?”

you mumble out an, “‘kay, waka,” but it’s swallowed by the gasp you make when akashi presses the thick head of himself against your entrance. “‘omi, ‘omi fuck—“ he’s easily bigger than anyone you’ve taken, in girth at least.

“s’wet.” he sucks in a breath as he pushes in slowly, holding your skirt out of his way as he pulls back after every inch he sinks in to ease himself into you. “this for us old men, little thing?”

you moan a sweet ‘mhm’ though your face burns in embarrassment. you force yourself onto your forearms and wrap your lips around imaushi’s cock, the taste of salt diminishing the thought. later you’d think about how pretty his dick was, from the pink of the tip to the veins running along the shaft— veins that you now tongue at while you take more into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and moaning around him when akashi pushes even more of his thick cock into you and you’re starting to wish you would’ve taken the extra prep he’d been trying to do.

“what a mouth.” is grunted from above you and you wouldn’t believe the deepness in his tone if you weren’t hearing it for yourself. akashi chuckles shortly from where he’s kneeled when he feels you clench around him at what one can hardly call praise.

it’s when he finally bottoms out that his ashes fall on your skin once again, this time on your ass and you choke around the tip hitting your throat when the cherry burns you yet again, making you jump from where your hips were pressed to his.

“dirty girl.” akashi shakes his head knowingly at the way you tighten around him again. “‘nd i was so worried ‘bout hurtin’ you.”

“she like that?” imaushi asks with the most amusement you’ve heard from him tonight, which is still closer to none. but you don’t hear if he gets an answer because akashi winds his hips back and starts fucking into you— the pace isn’t brutal, but is far faster than the one he’d used while fingering you.

you try to bob your head but it’s no use when you’re forced down onto imaushi with each push of the clothed thighs behind you until you can’t breathe anymore and you have to pop off of him. your head falls back on his thigh and your nails come to dig into the fabric of his dark jeans.

“you’re good,” imaushi coo’s, grabbing your hand from his lap and using it to jerk himself off as your eyes flutter. “just be good ‘nd feel good for us.”

it’s all too much, the ecstasy they give you that you’ve never even brought yourself to, how they’re fucking you out farther than you’ve ever been, all while still treating you like glass. it makes your head spin, tears welling in your eyes as the knot in your stomach winds so tight it’s starting to fray.

“‘m close, s’close—fuck, fuck—“ you try to reach beneath you with your free hand, but akashi bats it away.

“c’mon baby, don’t insult me like that.” one of his rough hands reaches around your hip, pinching and rolling your clit between his fingers and sends you tumbling over the edge.

all you see is white as the hot static flows through your limbs, the curses escaping both the older men lost over the sound of your own broken moans. their names mix together, whined softly like a prayer repeated again and again as akashi fucks you through your high, groaning as his grip tightens into your plush skin at the way your pussy pulses around him.

“feel so damn good,” his own voice sounds worn and you let out a whimper. “‘gonna take it for me?”

you only have a clue at what he could mean but you nod and babble out ‘yes’ and ’please’ before you truly give it any thought. his speed picks up, but somehow still as gentle as he shove his cock so deep its painful and paints your walls white. it sends your eyes rolling back again just from the sensation.

“shiiiit— put your tongue out f’me, princess.”

it’s a heart racing sight to see how imaushi stares at you with parted lips, chest heaving as he throbs in your palm. you loll your tongue out just as he asked and he nearly instantly shoots his load on it with a silent moan, one that only becomes audible when you lick at his slit before swallowing what coats your tongue.

you’re floating as you’re straightened up by sturdy hands, a different set of hands massage soothingly at your thigh when you’re back upright.

“keep tryin’ with shin’.” akashi scoots to closer, letting you fall and lean into his side, one heavy arm resting along the back of the couch as the other put his nearly gone cigarette back between his lips. “he’s bound to give in.”

“”nd if not, just put it on him.” imuashi squeezes the fat of your thigh as he adds on. “he won’t be able to say no.”

all you can do is smile dumbly and nod. you’re so close to drifting off after such an orgasm and the way they speak so lowly from either side of you nearly lulls you to sleep. the only other thing you can remember before you fall into unconsciousness is the music playing from inside the shop— you wonder how long it’s be on, and why it’s so loud.

you miss shinichiro who finally comes back into the room after keeping everyone out of the hallway after he’d caught sound of your moans. miss the small rise of the corner of his mouth when he sees you all tuckered out and disheveled, the way you snuggle into akashi’s chest and push your leg into imaushi’s hand when he stops massaging at it for even a second.

“she have fun?” he asks his friends as he passes behind where you’re sat, palm falling to rub the top of your head.

“‘course she did,” imaushi answers.

“don’t get stingy when you finally put a ring on it.” akashi blows his smoke opposite of you. “even married women should have fun.”

feedback + reblogs are appreciated <3.

[repost from an old blog]

#tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #wakasa smut #wakasa x reader #takeomi akashi x reader #takeomi akashi smut #tokrev smut #wakasa x you #tokyo revengers x you #takeomi smut #takeomi x you #tokyo revengers fic

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levmada · 4 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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joaofelix70 · 5 months

Text

MISS DIPLOMAT & MR. CHARMING |

dominik szoboszlai x female reader.

author's note: this handsome man's living rent-free in my head. he's a freaking masterpiece. talented, funny, charismatic, attractive. i watched interviews, tiktok videos made by supporters and much more to understand a little bit of his language, personality and what he does towards friends and loved ones. laughed a lot! i made my homework as a writer, hope you enjoy it! (compliments and any kind of retributions are more than welcomed).

summary: your job is involving the commitment of unify the population and create interrelations to another countries, using the eurocup qualifiers and the hungary national team executions. you just didn't expect to fall in love with the no. 10's captain player.

words and characters: 1,811/11,223. it was three days working too hard on this story. i'm begging for your consideration, lol.

────

sports diplomacy: it's the unique power of sport to bring people, nations, and communities closer together via a shared love of physical pursuits. this responsibility is the reason of a transition between strangers to connected individuals, advancing foreign policy goals and augmenting sport for development initiatives. the complex landscape where sport, politics, and diplomacy overlap become clearer, as do the pitfalls of using sport as a tool for overcoming and mediating separation between people, nonstate actors, and states. the power of sport has never been more important. so far, the 21st century has been dominated by disintegration, introspection, and the retreat of the nation-state from the globalization agenda. in such an environment, scholars, students, and practitioners of international relations are beginning to rethink how sport might be used to tackle climate change, gender inequality, and the united nations sustainable development goals, for example. to boost these integrative, positive efforts is to focus on the means as well as the ends, that is, the diplomacy, plural networks, and processes involved in the role sport can play in tackling the monumental traditional and human security challenges of our time. credits: international studies association and oxford university press.

────

MLSZ (hungarian football federation) ──

new training ground at telki.

"i can't believe that being in places like this made up my most theoretically utopian childhood dreams. what a progress in front of me!" you still witness exciting moments where you pinch yourself, trying to believe in the reality that surrounds you: visiting the new training center of the players who are just a few meters away from you, getting ready to represent an entire country.

"your presence is our privilege. a voice of the spread of eurocup to our nation, right here…" the technical director gives you deference, obtaining a measure of humbleness and respect by you.

"the honor belongs to me in its entirety. grateful for having me, sir. while the view is immersive and captivating — my fervent congratulations to everyone involved — could we retreat from the pleasant glass-enclosed room and see everything closer, on the outside? please? i will never get used to this atmosphere." you pour politeness and charisma to the staffs around you, being directed to the proximity of the field and saluting the employees who pass through your path.

meet dominik — your szobo — instigates the nostalgic combination of detailed moments in which your thoughts display as photographic retrospectives. you're incapable to oppose the little enthusiastic laughs, fidgeting the rings between your fingers and avoiding possible suspicious glances from others. however, for you, this wouldn't actually work. the lives of you both are correlated, but different.

the training session is finished. clapping your hands and celebrating the performances, you greet the athletes and recognize some familiar people. nevertheless, reality slows down after those dark woody eyes capture through your soul. his arms tattoos are glorified by the sun's rays, the same illuminated smile is offered to you: that one you got during the very first time you saw him — instantly knowing he made you testimony the accuracy of freedom, catharsis and emotional amorous complement. that he'd be the one to introduce you what you never experienced, what you thought you'd never receive or deserve. what love truly is. when you were novices in your actual professions, not even imagining the future gifts of your unreal purposes.

"there you are!" intimately, dominik points at you, being reciprocated by vibrant nods and your old sort of secret — not that mysterious or serious — handshake. "még mindig emlékszel rá? (still remembering it?). you're a real one!"

"hogy tudnám elfelejteni? alábecsülsz engem. (how could i forget it? you're underestimating me)". your defensive actions demonstrate purposeful falseness. masking any sensitive, verbal or figurative communicative fragment from him is a difficulty that makes you give in over time. honestly, you never complain about this. it's like he wants to understand the factors and layers of you.

"a te kézfog��s fickó. ne merészelj lecserélni engem. (your handshake man… don't you dare to replace me)". a shameless wink is send to you, butterflies acquiring space in your stomach.

"és hivatalosan is a szavamat adom rá. (and you officially have my word on it)." your gloss is pigmented against your fingers while you raise it up, displaying an oath, wondering if szoboszlai comprehends that his replacement in your life would be blasphemous.

"diplomata kisasszony, (miss diplomat)…" the hungarian fingerprints are shared and you recognize the sign to hold them, ready to perform your typical fashion icon moment. "gorgeous as always. go ahead! you know what to do!".

amusement surrounds you with the nickname's citation. although, you could feel some curious glances, from the outsiders, about the intimacy between you and him. "i appreciate, our top-class national bless…" you move your body in rotations to exclaim the outfit's characteristics, lifting your feet to show off the specificities of your heels. "how is your hair so well-groomed after sweating, though?" your arms cross and you raise an eyebrow in questioning, trying to hide your fascination.

"thank you, my number-one fan, but don't change the subject. finish our inside joke, c'mon!" dominik grabs his water bottle and spreads the cooling liquid on his forehead, wiping the glowing droplets across his face as he lifted his jersey high enough to exhibits his fortified abs.

your attention is directed to any surrounding scenery, throat being piked. szoboszlai pretends he doesn't notice, preventing to embarrass you.

"alright, alright! you've won, bájos úr… (mr. charming)". your final comment escapes as, practically, a whisper. you can't control the shy laughter, coupled with the considerable redness invading your cheeks.

"that's the secret to make my day!" using his tongue to reproduce a sharp noise, he matches your humorous reactions. "would you like me to show you the infrastructure changes? i'm just gonna take a shower!"

"i've already been granted a tour around here, but in case you insist…" during the dialogue, some athletes cross your space, wishing them good luck for the competition. your concentration on the activity is significant, at the point that dominik's silent admiration goes unnoticed.

"i mean, you know me! i'm gonna insist anyway, so…" he reaches your captivity, bringing you jollification.

"i'll rate you as a personal tour guide. now, go there!" jesting each other, you both exchange exaggerated reverences, like a challenge of who makes the most chaotic one.

────

walking around the area, various subjects are explored, informations entrusted. you ask and are updated about his ethereal younger sister.

portraits of the generations are framed. you magnifies his presence in celebratory pictures, dedicated to find him in the memories and achievements on that wall. pride shines from you and the hungarian finds it lovely.

"you know i'm a sucker for accents… they're much more than mere verbal characteristics, they're stories: life experiences, marks and scars. identities and cultural integrations." the topic is random. through generalized opinions, you're explaining conceptions and dominik is retaining mental observations. he exalts every scrap of your identity, like a faithful worshiper.

"basically, you're admitting being enchanted by my accent. i can see the stars in your eyes. a win is a win!" szoboszlai and his frequent attribute to physical touch, tickling your ears and playing with them. it doesn't bother you, actually: adoring the affection exuded by you and him. you feel like a little girl dealing with your one and only love.

"it's beautiful, how can you blame me? and hey, i know mine's making you grin too." he holds your arm, shivers running down your spine, the two of you being euphoric in the midst of your own enthusiasm.

"putting me against the wall? okay, hum… what were you saying before?" he's changing the subject and you have a natural wit to boo him. lifting his shoulders as a surrender, the hungarian focuses on the specific loose strands of his simple bracelet, which you get used to help him tie it again, willingly.

"trying to avoid the truth? fine! let me take care of you while i talk about my admiration towards globalization and communication. like, with every fiber of me…" you accept the conversation's direction and utter a 'voilà' towards the accessory's new appearance.

"that's why you're the best person i've ever seen doing this job." dominik compliments you, an act full of honesty.

"thanks a lot, mate. but which job? as your bracelet helper or my real one?" you provide tenderness, looking amused.

"i mean… both of them." szoboszlai chuckles, revealing courtesy by your continuous helpfulness.

"literally? because i know you know a lot of people. you're so young and already is the national team's captain." you nudge him in a form of tease. he's a starboy, it's undeniable.

"flattered! literally, thought. you were born for this, believe me." vulnerability collides to you, as his words are deliberated: emotions embracing you and warming your insides.

"dominik szoboszlai, my dear friend, you're gonna make me cry, right here. i'm sorry, i need to do it…"

innocent satisfaction builds strength over you and executes unthought-of approach to the tangibility of your gratitude — his colony enrapturing your sensitive olfaction — in the most out-of-control way. the sounds reach your hearing: a choir of angels singing hallelujah. he reciprocates the contact, laughing at your juvenile excitement. joining him and doing the same thing, harmonizing the triumph. in the separation of the touch, you both remain close to each other and the hungarian doesn't miss the opportunity to feel the softness of your side face, caressing the skin. appreciation and satisfaction invade your structure, delighting on the palm of his hand.

"just a dear friend? why are we pretending all this time?" dominik's reading you. the intimidation at the sight of him overhanging you is paralyzing. you don't usually back down, but in that instant — superior than your most repressed desires — your gasps are escaped.

"who is putting who against the wall now?" insisting and failing on your witty answers, shyness and uncertainty corrodes you.

"please, look at me! i'm not kidding anymore." his voice is questioning, intrigued — contradictorily vulnerable and calm — your rationality being fragmented, fragile.

"you know i'm not the kind of woman you're surrounding by, domi. i'm not an influencer, bikini model. i'm not a public figure. i don't live for the cameras and gossip platforms. i live to work hard. i didn't achieve any of this with some type of perk. my routine and your routine are based on traveling..." who could deny it? szoboszlai's always been all that you see. it's much more than a mere passion. your attraction to him is magnetic, intense, vivid. consequently, terrifying.

"i'm just asking for a chance, (your nickname). i don't lie when i say i've never met someone like you. i may be surrounded by a crowd and you'll still be the one to steal my attention, because nobody compares to you."

your eyelids are closed and the exhalation of his sigh penetrates your lungs with the numbing breath of life you've never experienced before. it's happening: the rare situation where thinking carefully about the pros and cons is unworthy, dumbness. your decision is made and the privilege's resolution unify your lips. the beginning demonstrates slowness and patience — the intensification through the concluded wait of the longed-for reality, transforming light and magical kisses into open mouths discovering each other and witnessing the endearment that both offer — hairs, necks, shoulders and waists captured.

"you're the first to create a meaningful presence in my mind and heart. i want you to be the last one too. i love you, kincs (my treasure). i'm finally brave enough to demonstrate it with no fears." dominik's forearm covers your upper torso. your back against his chest, noses resting on each others. rejoicing at the miraculous, incomparable circumstance.

"i love you, drágám (my precious). you're finally mine and it was so fucking worth waiting." his whisper: the living proof of celestial existence.

"how blessed we are…" intertwined bodies, coalesced essences. solitary melodies turning into the sweetest and most complete symphony.

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alienpossession · 5 months

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Body a Day 14: Battery

The battery-powered pacifier keeps him docile during his initial mind-conditioning stage. This is the time when he's the most susceptible to external insight and command, allowing us to shape him to our likings. He also wouldn't do anything harmful to the series of supervisor tasked to monitor his progress. It's quite vital actually for him to be calm and not showing his aggressive human tendency, especially noting the fact that the monitoring involved some thorough physical checking that can make human in their normal state distressed. Oh, how far we've come, from having to force our way in and wrestle the control of the body and the mind from the human to having this state-of-the-art processing facilities where none of our kind have to risk or even sacrifice their lives in the process to acquire human body

Well, enough nostalgia. Back to the explanation. When his body and mind is ready, we will sedate him and put our small friend inside him to then take charge of that body. Usually that's what happened, but in case we deemed his mind to be unfit to receive our small friend, which happened....well, at least 1 in 50 cases so far, we'll just keep the docile human around as our plaything. They make quite a wonderful companion to have around actually

So, hope the tour is enough to give you a glance on how we work around here. Now, I know all of this revelation are shocking for you and you just can't wait to write your little piece of article and publish it as fast as possible to warn all the oblivious human. But we can't let you do that, and instead, you will be the first to try out our brand new development. In just mere hours you will be pliable and ready, and I know you'll write great articles afterward urging people to see and try for themselves what our latest tech can do instead.

---

"Zvezer, any more resistance from our journalist friend?"

"Nope. He's gone. It's all me here,"

"Okay then. He's been too long gone for just this reporting, so let's get you dressed so you can get back to his office for the evening debrief and we will monitor your condition remotely. Get down to write the articles right away, okay?"

"Certainly, sir,"

#body a day #alien mind control #alien possession #alien takeover

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dnalt-d2 · 17 days

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I wasn't able to watch Quackity's stream just now but from what I'm getting, it's a really unfortunate development

Basically that Quackity is stepping away from the QSMP for a bit and leaving the Administration of it to other people due to fear for his personal safety, and this next part might be slightly unrelated, but it's something I've been kinda wanting to say for a bit, and this gives me a good chance to do it

I remember a lot of people wondering why Admins had to stay anonymous to the public and this sort of thing is why. If experienced streamers, who are used to dealing with this sort of thing, are going through this, imagine what could have happened to the Admins if people found out who they were

Like imagine we knew exactly who was behind the Code attacks that killed Bobby, Tallulah, or Dapper. You really think people wouldn't have dog-piled on them because they killed their favorite Egg?? Imagine people knew who Leo or Sunny's admins were during all their "drama." People were already crossing boundaries before they knew who the admins were, and I don't think it would have gone well if that information were out in the open at the time

To me, it didn't seem like a good idea to throw people who were inexperienced with this into the spotlight like that. And THIS is why. People are still dog-piling on anyone they think is the problem, and that isn't okay. Quackity just talked about how scared he was for his actual personal safety, and that's not okay. People get the smallest scrap of information and latch onto it like it's gospel, and things like this happen. It's why I haven't even made a post about some recent developments, because I know a lot of what's being spread is speculation, and I don't like to spread around things I don't have concrete information on. Maybe if CERTAIN things were more open, this all wouldn't have been as big a problem, but the fact that this is the end result kinda makes their privacy more understandable

Because this is the kind of thing it leads to. Everyone demands every bit of information, pressuring people to the point that they just want to do SOMETHING to get people off their backs even a little bit. As far as I know, Lea DID NOT mean to leak that kind of information, but she was being bombarded for information, and just tried to provide some evidence for what she was saying, and probably didn't realize that it could lead to this (That's if the information I have on that is correct, that she basically leaked a payment document that had Quackity's full legal name, and that's how people managed to track down his information. If this isn't correct, please let me know, I haven't seen enough information on it to verify 100%)

(And I wanna say that this isn't me excusing the fact that the Admins couldn't talk to each other or the CCs when it was relevant to the server. That sort of thing is a textbook manipulation tactic from bosses who want to take advantage of their workers and using the lack of information as a weapon to that end)

I said before that I NEVER expected concrete updates about everything, just hoped for acknowledgements that things were still happening at all. Because the fact that streamers are in the public eye doesn't mean everything they do needs to be public knowledge. People online love to criticize paparazzi for constantly bombarding celebrities and invading their personal lives, but this is starting to feel startlingly similar, and I don't like that. Yes, the people involved should have that information, but we should not

I really hope people manage to stay safe through all this, including Quackity and each and every Admin/Ex-Admin that's been at the center of this. There are some things going around them that I don't agree with, but that doesn't mean I wish harm on them for it. That's the magical thing about the internet. You can just not interact with people you don't agree with, and I really wish some people would remember that. Especially over on Twitter. Because Holy Shit

Anyways, that's about all I have for now, probably won't be too active for a bit still because of IRL stuff, but I'm still here. Watching

WATCHING YOU ALL

**Okay Edit I didn't know this but

I actually didn't know Leo's admin was public at the time, but considering that, I guess it's not too widespread. So while it seemed to be alright, it could've gone a lot worse if that Admin was more well-known. Or if Sunny's was known at all. Either way, thanks for the clarification!!

#qsmp #qsmp quackity #quackity #qsmp admin situation

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gurugirl · 6 months

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The Trapper | special preview

Series Summary: Set in the 1850s, a long distance romance (of sorts) between a traveler who hunts for a living and an innkeeper's daughter.

Part 1 summary (preview below from part 1): Harry's been away from Sage Lake for a year and Y/N thought she'd never see him again. But he's returned with the intention of taking her with him next time he leaves.

1.5k word preview

Harry always looked forward to visiting Sage Lake on his travels. He tried to stop there as frequently as possible but the life of a hunter and trapper on the range was unpredictable.

This year, luck had been on his side. The population of deer, muskrat, and possum was overwhelming the North plains and Harry was a skilled hunter who used this to his advantage. The overpopulation was causing disease amongst the animals and ruining farmer’s crops so Harry was seen as a savior of sorts. He sold his trappings to the locals, from town to town he’d travel. Fur, tools from bone, dried and salted meat, and even decorative pieces of jewelry he crafted.

He had quite the haul in his wagon as he entered the lovely little lakeside town. The townsfolk waved at him as his horses pulled him and his carriage through the bumpy dirt road to the inn where he knew he’d have a room waiting for him.

It had been nearly a year since he’d seen her. The innkeeper’s daughter was a beautiful and smart girl. Sassy if he was honest. Though he could put her in her place if needed. He smiled to himself thinking about their last interaction.

“Well then go mister Big Bad Hunter! Life out there is far more exciting than staying put in this old town. Nothing here to keep you anyway is there?” Y/n had her arms crossed over her chest as she stood out on the dusty porch of the inn and watched Harry load his saddle.

Harry nodded without giving her a glance. He’d always been a man of little words but for Y/n… he was different. He loved teasing her and often gave her lip back because she was fun to rile up. But in that moment, he was feeling the sting of having to leave again. Truth was he would have liked to stay longer. Figure out whatever was going on with his feelings for the girl at the inn. But he had a job to do. He was a hunter by trade and keeping the miles of Northern range and plains people fed and clothed was important to their survival, especially during the wintertime. And he needed to survive as well. All his trappings and wares were dwindled to decorative pieces and jewelry that didn’t sell as quickly as the more practical items.

He felt her hand on his arm suddenly and turned to look down at her, “Always gonna be like this? You just come when you feel like it? Leave when you please?”

He sighed. Her pretty big eyes always got him. He’d never once kissed her lips but he’d dreamt of it more often than he liked to admit, “Of course, I have to leave. I’ve got nothing left. It’s time for trapping, the season is here. People need fur and meat and tools and I intend to provide it for them. Helps me survive as well.”

She let go of his arm and huffed, turning her back, “I know. But I hoped…” Her following words were too quiet for the hunter to hear so he grasped the back of her arm and pulled her toward him.

“Speak up, girl.” He spoke and gripped her tight when she tried to yank her arm from his hold.

“S’nothin’. Go on then. Leave.” She looked downward and Harry, as much as he understood her upset, because he was feeling it quite the same, didn’t like her talking to him that way.

Smushing her cheeks together and tilting her head upward to look at him he spoke quietly, “What’s got you so upset? Hmm?”

He loosened his grip on her chin so she could speak, but he kept his hand on her face to keep her gaze on his.

“Said it’s nothin’. Let go of me.”

Harry couldn’t help but quirk up the edge of his lips. He was too aware of their unique connection and their slowly developing feelings for one another. It had been this way over the years of his travels to Sage Lake, “Don’t be sad, Y/n. I’ll return like I always do and we can go take a midnight dip in the lake once again.”

An annoyed grumble fell from her mouth and she grasped onto his forearm to pull his hand from her jaw, “Don’t care if you ever come back or not. Waste of my time.”

Harry snorted a laugh, “Liar. I’ll be back. And next time I’ll have a nice big carriage with two horses and the biggest bounty you’ve ever seen. Maybe I’ll even stay longer next time if you’re really sweet.”

Y/n’s younger brother stomped through the front salon toward the office where Y/n was checking the log and making sure the guests were all shored up on their accounts.

“Harry the hunter is here! He’s gonna want that big room again!”

Y/n looked up at her brother Matthew with wide eyes. Harry? Her Harry? She stood from her wooden chair, wiped her hands down her apron, and quickly smoothed her wild hair, peeking at her reflection in the wavy glass lamp, “Okay. Go put the linens on the bed and make sure there’s a towel and an extra pillow like he likes.”

Matthew stood grinning at her with his hands on his hips, “He’s got himself a big carriage and two horses. Looks like he might be ready to settle in for a bit.” Matthew wasn’t the only one aware of the budding romance between the pair. Though she’d never admit to it, it was obvious.

She had been pursued by a businessman not long after Harry left last time. Y/n was beyond the age of settling down. Normally young women would be married off no later than age 20 but when Y/n declined to take the man as a suitor her father was disappointed and expressed it to her for months after. The man had a decent property and made good money. It was time for her to get married, have kids. He scolded her about waiting around for Harry and she denied that was the reason she didn’t want to marry the other man. No one believed her.

But she was thankful that her father didn’t insist. That he didn’t make her entertain the attention of another man. She knew she was lucky that her father allowed her to make her own decisions and wasn’t strict like her friend’s dads were.

And now at 23, Y/n was old by most standards, which she found ridiculous.

She closed the accounts book and placed her quill pin into its inkpot as Matthew left the room. She took a deep breath and went into the salon to pace. Her heart was already thrashing in her chest and her boots clapped along the hardwood floors with each step.

She hadn’t seen him in a year. She expected he’d return much sooner but lost hope after six months. It was difficult not knowing what to expect. Had no way to know if he’d settled in another town with a lovely girl and had already begun a family. Or perhaps he’d frozen to death out there on his excursions. Left alone with his horse tied to a log and his gun next to him, his heart gradually slowing down its cadence as his limbs turned to ice. Yes. She was the type to think the worst.

When she heard commotion from the front of the inn she shook her arms out and bent at the waist to catch her breath and soothe her nerves. She was about to face the man she couldn’t get out of her mind. He took up much of her secret thoughts and now here he was. It would be the longest they’d gone without seeing one another. A whole year and some.

Harry was tying his lead to the post when he looked up and saw the girl, hands on her pretty hips with hair that looked just as unruly as he remembered. She could never tame it. He grinned as he looked back toward his carriage. He was surprised by how excited he was to see her. His own heart thudded under his ribcage. He lifted his hat off his head and smoothed his hair back before placing it back and straightening his face out so that his expression wasn’t a giveaway to the girl at how pleased he was to see her again.

“Been a while. Looks like you kept your word. Big carriage, two horses,” she lifted her skirts and stepped down onto the dirt to take a closer look at his new setup.

Harry’s deep voice and his natural scent had her mind already spinning as he draped a heavy arm over the saddle and faced Y/n, standing over her, “I’m a man of my word. Should know that about me by now.”

She swallowed and tried not to pay attention to how he had the sleeves of his shirt pushed up his forearms, those uncouth and rude tattoos peeking out. The white material was dingy all over and the area under his arms slightly yellowed from his dried sweat. He was a hard worker and she knew his active labor as a trapper kept his body in better shape than most. And she knew he’d want a bath right away too. “Well, let’s get you to your room then.”

A/N: This will be a short series and will only be posted to my new Patreon. If you're interested in reading this love story please sign up! I will be posting plenty of patreon-exclusive content for members as well as new short series and one shots! Don't worry, though, if you're unable to subscribe, I'll continue to post new content to Tumblr regularly as I always have. xoxo

Find my Patreon here!

General tag list: @michellekstyles @yousunshineyoutempter @tenaciousperfectionunknown @golden-hoax @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince @dirtytissuebox @closureesny @justlemmeadoreyou @itsgigikay @angelbabyyy99 @lllukulele @lanadelharry @novasblogofstuff @gills-lounge @damnasstyles @malwtilda @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @0oolookitsme @babybunharry @anothermannharry @love-letters-to-uranus @itjustkindahappenedreally @kelly-fushiguro345 @ssaama @onlyangellucifer @harryistheonlyoneforme @butdaddyilovehim-hs @reveriehs @lc-fics @mema10 @carmenxharry @tswiftsangel @hannahdressedasabanana @babegoalsreads

#harry styles #firstpost #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #patreon #preview #harry styles x y/n #harry edward styles #harry styles fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles one shot #harry #harry smut

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harrywavycurly · 2 years

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I’m just gonna toss this idea out here because it’s been sitting in my head for too long.

The idea of a marriage pact with Eddie, where if you’re both single by the time you’re 25(because to an 11 year old 25 is old as shit) you two will get married and live happily ever after. Like Eddie went as far as getting you a little plastic ring and said “I’m sure when I’m older I can get you a better one but here, take this for now.” and you did, you happily took the cheap plastic ring and put it on your finger and eventually it found its way around your neck on a chain that also housed one of Eddie’s guitar picks. But that was when you two used to do everything together, before you found yourself packing up your truck a few days after graduation with a hopeful smile as your best friend hugged you goodbye and mumbled something about not forgetting him into the crook of your neck.

You never forgot him, making weekly phone calls and letters keeping each other updated on your lives. He knew about every important event and every heartbreak while you got the inside scoop on all his D&D campaigns and how his band was doing. He knew by the tone of your voice if you were in a good or bad mood while you knew if he sighed as soon as he got on the phone that he call was going to be short due to him being exhausted from the day. The two of you never lost touch, instead you grew closer and feelings started to develop, at least for you.

You still have the silver chain around your neck, the plastic ring a little worse for wear along with Eddie’s guitar pick hidden under your shirt, as you pull into your old driveway. You’re back in Hawkins just in time for your 25th birthday next week. You smile as you close the door to your car and look around, it’s like nothings changed as you spot a familiar head of brown curls leaving the trailer across the street.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You’d know that groan anywhere, having been on the receiving end of that very same sentence a few times over the course of your friendship. You quickly made your way across the street as Eddie popped the hood to his beloved van.

“Told you this thing would be a bigger headache than it’s worth.” You watched Eddie’s whole body freeze as you approached him, his back facing you. You felt like time was moving in slow motion as the screwdriver fell from Eddie’s hand as he turned so he was facing you. His eyes roamed your body as if he wasn’t sure if it was really you or not but when his eyes locked with yours all you could focus on was the smile that took over his face and how much you’d missed it.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked as he took a small step towards you, the smile never leaving his face.

“Do you often dream about your van?” You teased as you took a step closer to him, he laughed and you realized how much you missed hearing that sound in person, hearing it over the phone all these years didn’t do it justice. “Actually don’t answer that.” Eddie just shook his head as he closed the distance between the two of you, allowing there to be a small gap between your two bodies.

“I’ve missed you.” Was all he said before his arms wrapped around your shoulders pulling you into his chest. You instantly relaxed in his hold as your arms snaked around his middle giving him a little squeeze as if to check that he really was here in your arms. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what the hell are you doing back here?” He asked as he pulled away just enough to look you in the eyes with a raised eyebrow, because once people left Hawkins it wasn’t often they voluntarily came back.

“Well it’s my birthday next week and I was missing home so figured it was the perfect excuse to come for a visit.” You answered as you grabbed at your necklace with one of your hands. Eddie’s eyes followed your hand as you mindlessly messed with the plastic ring and guitar pick hanging off the chain.

“Uh you know I could get you a better one if you want.” You looked at him confused as he removed his arms from around your shoulders. But you felt your heart begin to beat faster as one of his fingers came and messed with the plastic ring.

“Why would I want a better one? This is the pick you played master of puppets with for the very first time.” You knew he didn’t mean the guitar pick but you just wanted to see the smirk on his face as you spoke.

“Okay so the pick is fine but,” You felt him drop your necklace as his thumb pressed to the bottom of your chin so you’d look up at him. If you weren’t used to the Munson charm the look in his eyes would’ve been enough to make you weak in the knees, but lucky for you this wasn’t your first time experiencing this type of look from Eddie. “I’m more worried about the ring.” You reached up and pushed a few wild strands of his hair out of his face making him lean into your touch.

“Well I would like one that at least fits my finger.” You shrug as Eddie smiles as your hand rests on the side of his face.

“I have what?” He looked at his watch and then back to you with a smile. “Four more days to make that happen.” He leans down as your hand moves from the side of his face to rest on his shoulder.

“Think you’re up for it?” He knows what you’re really asking and he just lets out a chuckle as his lips press a kiss to your cheek.

“I was ready to marry you when I was eleven sweetheart.” He answers before kissing the tip of your nose making you giggle. “I’m more than up for it.” And with that his lips are on yours in a kiss that’s been years in the making as your arms slide around his neck and his hands drop to your waist.

#don’t ask where this came from i have no fucking clue lol #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson concept #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #Eddie Munson #stranger things fanfiction #my little dungeon master baby

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dfortrafalgar · 27 days

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I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: Please read chapter 1 for warnings. Additional warning, especially for this chapter, is a fairly graphic depiction of a miscarriage. I discussed the topic of fertility issues and pregnancy loss in the warning passage i wrote in chapter 1, and i meant every word i said.

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna

Chapter 7

[Prev] [Next]

For the first time in a very long time, Law had the day off of work while you didn’t. When you woke up bright and early, however, your husband was sitting in the living space with Bepo at his feet, watching the morning news for your city.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he called, his lips quirking upwards in a fond smirk.

You felt a smile form on your own lips. “Morning, my early bird,” you called back, approaching the couch and leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, which he gladly reciprocated. “Why are you awake so early? I thought you’d want to sleep in.”

Law chuckled. “I thought about it, but I wanted to spend the day with Bepo, just the two of us. Sometimes I’m afraid he’ll forget about me because I’m at work so often.”

You laughed. “Aww, you miss your puppy!” Bepo rolled over on the floor, exposing his belly which you gladly leaned down to give a firm few pats to.

“Well, I’m going to jump in the shower and get ready for work,” you stated, ruffling Bepo’s fur between his ears and standing back up to retreat to the bathroom.

You disrobed and turned on the water when a very dull cramping sensation developed in your lower abdomen. You were only two days away from your next follow-up with Dr. Robin, and she did inform you that, in the case that your pregnancy was progressing normally, it is common to feel slight discomfort during certain hours of the day. You hoped that was the case. Hell, you prayed that was the case.

Your morning routine went by without incident, and you gave Law a kiss before leaving for your car and making the drive to your office. You were slightly nervous, however. You had told your closer coworkers and your boss that you were pregnant, but you had been reluctant to describe anything since the original announcement, and especially now after your ultrasound the week prior. You loved your friends, but they were prone to gossip. You had sworn them, very sternly in fact, that you did not, under any circumstances, want the entire office to know about your pregnancy. You still didn’t quite know if they kept their word, but so far it seemed that they had. But now, with constant uncertainty looming over your head like a thundercloud, you definitely doubled down on not wanting to tell anyone.

The dull, slightly throbbing pain in your lower abdomen continued on your drive. You took a few sips from your water bottle to try to distract yourself.

Your shift started as they normally did. You placed your lunch in the refrigerator in the break room, dropped your bag on your desk, and sat down in your chair to boot up your computer.

The cramping sensation increased from sitting. You winced, attempting to adjust yourself in your seat to ease the feeling.

You said good morning to Nami, Ikkaku, and Usopp, and reviewed your project progress with your boss in time to sit in for an hour-long meeting with the clients you and your team were working with. The meeting was long and arduous, and every time you felt the cramps flare up you took a sip from your water bottle. At one point, Nami leaned over and whispered, “Parched, are we?” You shared a quiet giggle.

The meeting ended, you ate your lunch, and left your desk to be watched over by Ikkaku while you used the bathroom. With all the water you were drinking, it was no surprise that you had to go. You pushed your phone into the pocket of your pants, a habit that had developed since getting pregnant eight weeks ago. You wanted to be able to contact Law if anything changed even the slightest bit.

You left your office and entered the women’s restroom located between your agency and the one across the hall. You sighed in relief as the restroom was empty. You hated peeing with other people in the room with you. You entered a stall, locked the door, and pulled down your pants.

You felt the blood drain from your face.

There was a substantial amount of bright red blood in your underwear. It had seeped through the cotton and stained a very small patch in the crotch of your pants, not enough to be noticed from in between your legs, but enough that you were certain the stain would be permanent. Your legs felt wobbly and you sat on the toilet. Your cramps felt significantly worse when you sat, and suddenly the sensation of needing to urinate seemed to dissipate to make room for the painful squeezing in your abdomen.

There was no other possibility.

Your hands began to shake as you frantically reached for your phone in the pocket of your pants. You opened your text with Law, thumb shaking as you tapped on his contact and pressed the Call button.

Please still be home… please still be home… please pick up…

[CLICK]

[Hey baby, what’s up–]

“Law, I’m having a miscarriage,” you blurted. Your voice was already cracking as your entire body trembled.

The line was silent.

[You’re… I’m on my way. I’ll be there as quickly as I can.]

You couldn’t even utter a response as your eyes swelled with salty tears that quickly fell from your cheeks and onto your bare thighs. The cramps were growing more intense with each passing minute.

[Where are you right now?]

“Bathroom…” you meekly uttered.

[Okay, is your stuff at your desk? Can I just ask the receptionist for your bag when I get there?]

You wished you didn’t have to speak. Your entire body was struggling to cope with the heavy bleeding from your womb, the last thing you wanted to do was talk. But you knew Law needed this information. “Yes.”

[Okay, baby hang on, I’m getting in my car. I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Can you hold on that long?]

You couldn’t speak. “Mhm.”

[Okay, okay. I’m leaving now. I promise I’ll get there as fast as I can. I love you, I love you.]

The call was cut out as he hung up the phone to drive to your office.

You were alone once more.

The sight of your blood-soaked underwear was burning into your retinas. The bright red liquid, fresh and new, as if you had simply scraped your knee. This wasn’t similar to a period, exactly the opposite. This blood was as fresh as it could be, fully oxygenated and supposed to be supplying life to the embryo that was supposed to be growing inside of you.

Supposed to be. Everything was ‘supposed to be.’

You fought back a sob as your cramps persisted in waves. Your body was most definitely passing something, but the last thing you wanted to do was think about what exactly that ‘something’ might be.

Your mind was reeling.

You felt dizzy.

Were you breathing? Where was Law?

You placed a hand on the wall of the stall you occupied to settle yourself as your vision grew foggy as a wave of nausea washed over you. Your ears barely picked up the sound of a trickle coming from you and into the toilet. That definitely wasn’t urine.

The cramps continued, like a taunting knife digging into your flesh, ripping your dignity to pieces.

Where. Was. Law.

You tried to think of his face. His gorgeous golden eyes that looked at you so tenderly, his pink lips that curled into a humble smile whenever he saw you, his fluffy hair you loved to play with. You tried to think of Bepo at home, greeting you after your shift with his smile and his tail wagging so fervently it left a cloud of white fur floating through the air in its wake. You tried to think of your bed at home, soft and warm, and how it smelled like Law. You tried to think–

A strong cramp rippled through your womb. You felt another wash of liquid leave your body before hearing a small plunk as something landed in the toilet bowl.

Your stomach churned. You felt a cold sweat ripple up your spine and the back of your neck as your hair stood on end. The cramps slightly improved after the unknown thing exited your body against your will, but the dull throb continued to radiate through you.

You wanted to vomit, but it seemed your body didn’t want to put you through more. The only thing you were faced with was the nausea that rocked you so bad it made your vision fill with black spots.

Were you going to pass out? Oh my god, you were going to pass out on the toilet. You were going to pass out and hit your head and die–

“Baby?!” The bathroom door was flung open. The familiar voice of your savior flooded into the room. “Honey, are you in here?!”

You couldn’t respond. You simply pushed your foot outward under the stall door, enough for him to see the toe of your shoe. You heard him pace towards you, knocking on the stall door with the back of his knuckles.

“Can you unlock it?”

You felt another wave of nausea followed by another intense cramp discharge through your lower body. You whimpered. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Law felt his own stomach church. Behind the thick plastic door in front of him, you were doubled over in complete anguish, miscarrying a dead fetus. Law clenched his fist, livid at the world.

“I can’t help you if you don’t unlock the door,” he affirmed, his voice as gentle as it could be. You could hear the wavering in his tone. He was just as petrified as you are, minus the physical pain.

You reached forward with a trembling hand to slide the lock out of its slot.

Law pushed the stall door open.

His stomach dropped like a stone at the sight you were in. He felt his hair stand on end at the sight of the bright red blood in your underwear, the way you were curled in on yourself as you shivered in agony in front of him.

Come on, Law. Your wife needs you.

With a deep breath, Law forced the fear into the back of his mind like he had done so many times over the past eight months. He immediately jumped into action, pulling out a thick wad of toilet paper from the dispenser beside you and using it to line your underwear. Not that it made a difference anymore, but he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable when he brought you to his car.

“I need you to stand up, honey,” he urged. His voice was soft yet laced with a fear unknown.

“I don’t want to…” you whispered.

Law swallowed his own glob of saliva in his throat. “I know you don’t, but I need you to. Keep your eyes on me, you don’t have to look down. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Law had seen a plethora of traumatic instances in his lifetime, especially as a cardiac surgeon. He’s seen people die on the operating table, their chests completely open and exposed in a dire attempt to fix an unfixable heart condition. He’s seen people young and old hooked up to a multitude of tubes, breathing artificially and pumping blood mechanically. He’s seen families cry over the news of their loved ones dying. He’s seen mothers weep over their children.

But this… his wife, weeping over their child, was unlike anything Law had experienced before. For once, he wasn’t the doctor providing the treatment or the bad news. He was the husband on the front lines. His stomach churned. Could he even call it a child?

He carefully pulled you to your feet, constantly urging you to keep your eyes focused on the wall behind him as he pulled your pants up, making sure the large wad of toilet paper was secure in your underwear. Your cramps were still running through you, and your tears were freely flowing down your cheeks like an unrestrained waterfall crashing through a broken dam. You blindly followed as your husband pulled you out of the stall, grabbing your phone from the floor and shoving it in his pocket. He felt his own wave of nausea as he peered into the toilet bowl.

Full of bright red blood, with three substantial broken-apart blood clots standing out among the blood-diluted water. Combined together, the entire clot was easily the size of a lemon. He was sure there’d be more.

He flushed the toilet. You stood as still as a statue, the sound of the flushing causing you to choke out a sob. You wanted to double over, fall to your knees and let the universe swallow you whole, but Law wrapped his arm around your shoulders, holding you up and grabbing your hand with his opposite arm. Your bag from your desk was on the sink counter. If you weren’t in such a state of distress, you would be relieved that you didn’t have to face your coworkers. Law grabbed the bag and opened the door, hurrying you out into the hallway and into the elevator to bring you to the car as quickly as possible.

Thousands of irrelevant questions flooded into your mind. What about your car? What about calling out sick?

“Breathe, baby, breathe for me,” Law whispered, the sounds of your strangled cries echoing through the enclosed elevator that seemed to move as slow as it possibly could to the ground floor.

You tried to follow his instructions, but your lungs were too focused on contracting as rapidly as the cramps in your womb.

You truly thought you were dying.

Law was practically moving for you as he brought you to his car, getting you safely into the passenger seat. You stared blankly at your lap, your cramps now starting to feel numb to you as your mind went completely dark.

“I’m taking you to the ER,” Law stated flatly, turning the key in the ignition. The car’s engine roared to life.

You didn’t respond.

Law kept his mouth sealed shut. He backed out of the parking lot of your office and began to drive to his hospital.

#fem reader #law x reader #reader insert #trafalgar law x reader #x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #one piece x reader #op x reader #im losing you

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sokkas-therapist · 3 months

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Ok so I decided I am going to post that “atla live action hot take” I mentioned

Click below the cut if you’re interested in hearing my take on the whole “taking away sokka’s sexism” thing

1) nobody is glorifying sokka’s sexism by saying it should be kept in the show. It’s quite literally the opposite. The original series did a great job using his sexism as a lesson; any time sokka made a sexist remark in the first 4 episodes it was made abundantly clear that he was wrong, and as soon as Sokka was proven wrong he admitted that he was misguided, apologized, quite literally bowed down on his knees to ask for forgiveness, and even asked to learn from the kiyoshi warriors, and excepted wearing their traditional uniforms, further surrendering his flawed perspective of societal gender roles. A wonderfully executed example of writers using their characters to teach viewers a lesson: which was, in this case, that sexism is wrong. Sokka’s sexism was not left unresolved, so why take away a valuable lesson in the show??

2) if you take away a character’s flaws…then they don’t have development. A character can’t learn and grow from their mistakes if they never make mistakes.

If a charecter starts off perfect and unflawed then they are surface level and lack depth or the ability for an arc.

And no, this is not saying that Sokka didn’t have many other admirable qualities like his intelligence and adaptability etc.. He 100% had those qualities. But one of the coolest things about the original atla series was their ability to flesh out side charecters and give them depth. A charecter who is simply smart then becomes smarter, or adaptable then becomes even more adaptable, lacks depth and internal conflict.

Sokka’s sexism was the starting point for his internal conflict. Sokka wasn’t just sexist to be sexist, or because the entire southern water tribe was misogynistic (and we know for a fact they weren’t, because if they were misogynistic, then Katara wouldn’t have been shocked when the North denied her waterbending training). He was misogynistic because being seen/accepted as a “man” and a strong warrior was all Sokka wanted after his father left him behind. In reality, we know his father was only trying to protect his son from the horrors of war. But to a young and impressionable child, Sokka internalized this as him not being “man” enough, so he dedicated himself to becoming the person he thought would make his father proud. He was always reaching for this unattainable standard he set for himself, which lead to him having a skewed and toxic view of masculinity that he took out on the women around him. He associated being a worthy warrior with being a traditionally masculine man, and leaned way too far into fulfilling the gender roles men and women are told to play in society in hopes of gaining his father’s approval. We see him do this by suppressing his feelings of inferiority as a nonbender, along with all the aspects of himself that he thought could be seen as “weak” or “feminine” (ex: his love for shopping and poetry and art that we see develop up until the literal end of the series).

So clearly, the vast majority of sokka’s charecter development that deals with internal conflict stems from the toxic view of masculinity and gender roles that he adopted after being left behind by his father, which caused him to outwardly lash out toward katara and Suki with misogynist comments. So taking away the sexism we see in the first few episodes eliminates important context that makes sokka’s character development throughout the entire series significant, not just an “iffy unnecessarily bigoted message”, because it was quite literally used to show that sexism was wrong.

I wasn’t going to say anything about this at first but seeing so many people display a fundamental lack of understanding for the premise of character development and the usage of charecter flaws to promote positive messages in media set me off. Just…WTF????

(Also I know I wrote a summarized version of this in the tags for another post but I wanted to expand upon it more and make this a separate post)

#does this make sense??#it ended up being very wordy so I hope the point still came across #but like. this is a topic that I’m very passionate about and I hate seeing people miss Sokka’s entire internal character arc #sokka #atla #atla live action #avatar #sokka appreciation hours #I think that’s the tag I use for this stuff?#if one person says ‘it’s not that deep’ I’m gonna lose it #not really lmao #my post #headcanons and stuff #avatar the last airbender #Netflix #avatar netflix #atla net

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low-budget-korra · 2 months

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Comments on Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender

*spoiler alert*

First of all I'm gonna start by saying it is one of the best adaptations I've seen so far. And that's the key word, adaptation. I've seen a lot of fans and others complain about some things that honestly, doesn't make sense because some things only work in a cartoon(just as much as some things only work in a book or a video game)

And before I start to talk about some topics that I judge important, I also wanna say that the production is fantastic, from the costumes to the CGI. It all looks amazing. (A part from Yue's wig)

1. The Script

It's not easy to pick 20+ episodes and make it fit in only 8 but damn they did a hell of a good job, especially when judging what was important to show and what they could let it go. Some fans commented that since there's no fillers, the Gaang and others miss some development but I think that for the universe of the live action what we got here it worked.

I can express how much I like to see Ozai and Azula's relationship and how it is now clear that he uses the siblings against each other, manipulating them to get what he wants. But I will admit I miss the fear Azula had, since it's implied in the show and some extras that she does fear Ozai, and fears becoming like Zuko.

I hope the 41. Is just fine after the battle in the north. See all of them bowing to Zuko after discovering that Zuko was the one that saved their asses and was heavily punished by that...it was beautiful. I loved the writers did that, give names and faces to Zuko's crew and a beautiful yet sad arc when Ozai banished his son and the men who he saved.

I also loved that they put weight into things that was treated as a joke, like Katara talking about her mother. She was a little kid who saw her mom get murdered in front of her and the live action made sure to let us know that it is not okay to make jokes about something so traumatic. All of the deaths here have tons of weight in it, it's not some random person, is someone we met, someone we liked, someone who helped. The costs of the war, something the cartoon manages to show us but know in live action, with real people, the massage gets stronger.

And they didn't forget Iroh's past like the fandom does, which is great. That actor, the earthbending soldier really let it all out, that's how you use the few screentime you have.

Sokka's isn't sexist and y'all were making a storm outta a cup of water, is not like Sokka sexist didn't go away after like the 4 or 5 episode in the original show. I think the live action was able to bring more depth to him in comparison to the first season of the cartoon. We see how he feels about his father's, the absence of him and his duty as warrior who kinda doesn't want to be a warrior.

I need a Gyatso in my life, I didn't know I needed to see more of him until the live action gave us more of him. Kyoshi was the Thor coming to Wakanda from this season, WHY THE FUCK BRYKE DONT WANNA GIVE US A KYOSHI SERIES? She is absolutely a jewel of a character. Roku and Kuruk, damn poor Kuruk man, so much pain in his words but again that's what it means to be the Avatar, it's not fun and games. Zhao saying to Aang what Korra villains said to Korra😭 that the world doesn't need the Avatar anymore, it hurt.

Guys I'm gonna say it, there's no way in hell for anyone to ship Kataang here. I'm saying this because some shippers complain that the secret tunnel part was different but c'mon, look at Kiawentiio and look at Gordon, it would be so s awkward and weird and just wrong. I know they don't have a big age difference, is only like 3 years but when they filmed Gordon looked so much younger than her, maybe in the next seasons the difference won't be that big.

The pace is good, once you start you don't wanna stop.

2. The Acting

Everyone is really good at capturing the essence of it's characters and somewhat making them their own. The highlights for me were Dallas and Ian, Its like they came straight from the show. Ken Leung's Zhao was also amazing as he was way more threatening here than he was in the show.

Kiawentiio was the Katara we were looking for, she is kind yet strong, brave and caring. And Gordon was Aang, sure, he has to learn a few things since he slipped a few times in his acting but nothing that could ruin the experience, that kid is good and just needs some experience.

Elizabeth Yu was Azula. It was different but yet the same character, is like learning something new of her and I like how cleared she show emotions with her eyes. Maria Zhang had great chemistry with Ian and I can't wait to see more of Suki. Arden Cho and Yvonne Chapman as June and Avatar Kyoshi look like they came out straight from the cartoon. Daniel Dae Kim...man is Ozai, so cold, so sharp, so scary, already way better than the cartoon version. I wanna see more of Paul Sun-Hyung Lee as Iroh since the character he really starts to shine in book 2.

3. The live action doesn't have the spirit of the OG?

Yes, it does have. The thing is now that we are seeing real people, things get dark one way or another but I don't think it ruined the spirit of the show. Aang is still a kid, Sokka still making sarcastic jokes, Zuko still annoying as hell, Katara still hopeful and strong... There's everything there really.

The thing is stuff like genocide, murder, war, death and suffering are, for some people, better to watch as pixels in a cartoon than real people.

I think it's a great adaptation and I would recommend it to every fan.

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lowkeyed1 · 3 months

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great interview, definitely some info i haven't seen anywhere else... ----- ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I don't think you could end the show without losing someone, but how did you decide it would be Graydon as opposed to Airk, Boorman, or anyone else who's life was in imminent danger?

JONATHAN KASDAN: There was some conversation about that. But we all felt that there was something beautifully tragic about Graydon, and as a character, he is our Dark Prince. We always called him the Dark Prince in our construction of the show. One of the questions we always had and hoped to keep alive to some extent throughout the season was, "Is he good or is he evil?" As the show progressed, he's pretty definitively good. His devotion to Elora was so pure, and the way he played those scenes was so lovely and tender. It felt like the thing that would most impel Elora into this final stage of her development was the loss of this completely devoted person. As is often the case with these decisions, and they're sometimes unpopular, sometimes you want the most devastating possible thing. And for her, he felt like that.

Now that Airk has come back to himself, is there any chance he and Elora would reconnect? Or is her heart fully with Graydon at this point?

She's not with either of them, frankly, at the moment. She's intent on taking a little break from the dating world entirely, and we'll see how she does with that. But conversely, Airk is not at all over her. In fact, she's only more attractive to him now that she's empress of the world and the most powerful sorcerer ever and has come into her power so fully. But I definitely think the bloom is off the rose for Elora.

If Elora hadn't changed her mind during that wedding ceremony, how bad would that have been for everyone else?

It would've been bad. One of the things that the movie set up that is a helpful bit of storytelling is this idea that this baby, they couldn't just like chuck her out the window and kill her, and that would be the end of it. There was something about her spirit that needed to be either extinguished or transported or moved in some way that made killing her not a good option, which is convenient as a storytelling device for the movie. They've got to get her back to the castle. She's going to be okay a little longer. But it's really helpful for us here in the series that there's something more at stake than simply, "Will she live or die?" There's something about her that is spirit. It's in line with George Lucas' philosophical, quasi-religious stuff about the Force. There's a great speech in Empire Strikes Back that I was just thinking about last night — that I'm sure my father wrote — which is that we're more than just this crude matter. We're celestial beings. There's something of Elora that is pure light, and it would've been really bad if he'd been able to suck that light out of her mouth.

Boorman gives his own reasoning for it, but why is Kit finally able to use the armor?

Kit's journey is about embracing responsibility. It's a very personal idea to me because I myself struggle with this very question of, "How much responsibility do I want to have? And family and who do I take responsibility for?" She's running away from that responsibility all season. In the end of the season, she finds herself moved by Elora and devoted to her, and above all the other characters, she is the one most equipped to protect her, spiritually and emotionally. Metaphorically, Elora represents the natural spirit of the world, and Kit represents our human role in that. She goes from being very selfish to very generous. It's that journey that makes her worthy of the armor.

We do see Willow and Elora defeat the Crone, but I take it, if you have your druthers that their fight is far from over?

Absolutely. It was always designed to be a three-act story. These things have to have a finite end to them. Because as a fan of these stories, I don't want to think that creators are just continuing it as long as they can to make a buck. It's nice in this day and age where there's an appetite from these streaming services for stories that do continue but aren't endless. This was very much designed and intended that this would be the first part of the story about Elora coming into her power, and then she would have to contend with darker forces beyond that.

They do end this with the charred remnants of Willow's staff and Elora's wand broken. How much is that going to be an obstacle to them? Will they need to repair those things?

You really hit on something with the staff question, and it's been something we've talked about a lot in the writer's room. It was a very intentional decision for Willow to sacrifice the conduit for his power to save Airk. We wanted him to give something up that was meaningful. It felt like a fun way to enter potentially future stories where he doesn't have that way of expressing the magic in himself and to have that be a challenge that he has to overcome.

Early in the show, we see Willow say a prophecy claims Elora Danan has to die. We saw her make it through this time, but should we still be worried about that?

Absolutely. The Crone is the Wyrm's agent. She's this talent agent, she goes out, she makes the deals, she tries to recruit the people. She's the producer, but she's not the talent herself. The Wyrm is the thing. And that dark force that presses against the light is still very much out there in the world to be contended with.

When we get to those final moments of the season, Graydon seems to be waking up on this battlefield that we've seen in Willow's nightmares. Is that accurate?

It's so accurate that the moment we finished shooting Warwick standing up in that battlefield, we were like, "Okay, get Warrick out of there, throw Tony in." We were racing the clock to do it. And Tony was in position not 10 seconds after Warwick had vacated it.

The final battle really reminded me visually of the Harry Potter wand duels. How much of a visual reference point was that for you?

Huge. There's the promise of a lot of things in that final scene. But the big one for me is that in a character like Elora, much like Luke Skywalker or Harry Potter, there is the potential for incredible good and incredible darkness. We wanted to complicate the meaning of that a little bit over the course of the season and not have such hard and fast concepts of good and evil. Particularly Star Wars has a very clear bad guys-good guys thing, and we've made it much more in our series about desires versus ideals and the conflict between those two forces within ourselves. Certainly, that conflict is alive in Elora. The temptation of what the Wyrm represents is powerful. Ellie communicates it in this almost ecstatic way that she plays out the battle with the Crone. It's terrifying and hard, but it's also clearly getting her off a little bit (laughs). We really wanted to play on that and unequivocally with that final scene, stay with the fact that the potential for something really bad is in her too. Something really rather destructive is in her too.

Should we interpret that final version of Elora that Graydon sees as her potential alternate path?

Yes. And as the clear statement of intention by the bad guy.

You said before you'd like to have Val Kilmer appear in a second season.

There's nothing I would like more. The world is unpredictable, but certainly the runway has been laid for him, and we'd love it.

But you did have Christian Slater as a guest star. Is there another 1980s heartthrob you'd love to have on the show?

I'm a huge Billy Zane fan. If I could find a way to use that man in Willow, I would be very pleased. He's under-appreciated, under-loved and brilliant. I'm not the only one who feels this way. He's done some great stuff lately. So I'm hopeful that he's someone we could use someday.

Hulu and Disney+ are a package deal, and with Reservation Dogs, there are now two Elora Danans in the Disney family. Is there some crossover potential there?

(Laughs) No, but we invited them all to the premiere. They weren't able to make it, but we are still fighting for an opportunity to have a coffee between our two Elora Danans. They need to sit and do a photo shoot together or something. It's too perfect. That show is unbelievably great. I would love to have Devery Jacobs guest star on the show. That would be a really fun idea.

Is there any news you could share on a potential season 2?

Only that I'm sitting in my office and continuing to plan and scheme. It's a strange time in the business. It's a transformative time for Disney. So, I couldn't tell you anything that felt certain, except that we're continuing to work on this with every intention of doing more.

Can you tease where you envision it going from here?

The events of the finale have to be dealt with in a meaningful way at the top of wherever the story goes and the implications of the trauma those events caused to our characters and where it lands each of them. I'd love to get these characters out of that desert. Beyond that, they're all looking at very clear conflicts that were deeply positioned in season 1. Specifically, with Jade, the question of her loyalties and where her politics are going to land her is at the forefront in our minds in terms of where that character can go and, and how she's torn between love and country a little bit. There's no shortage of directions that we'd love to explore, but at its core, it is about this conflict between this otherworldly entity and our heroes. And that's far from over.

#willow 2022

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itgetsdark-x · 1 year

Note

Car sex with dbf!Joel plssss. Have funnn

A/N: anything for you boo 🩵 may or may not have taken like ten years to write this but I hope it’s okay for you!!

Summary: Joel comes to pick you up after a night out, you decide to shoot your shot finally and he gives you the best night of your life in the back of his truck.

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), unprotected p in v (do better, people), age gap is heavily implied though ages are not stated, semi-public sex, use of good girl!

Word Count: 4.1k

Characters: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

You giggled as you fumbled clumsily with your phone, your thumbs tapped lightly on the screen and you almost dropped it a couple of times. After finally catching your phone for almost the hundredth time that night, you brought it up to your ear and heard the line ring in your ear.

“Hello?” You heard the gruff voice speak down the receiver and you giggled stupidly.

“J-Joel,” you hiccuped and a small burp left your parted lips. “Can you come and get me? Dad doesn’t know I went out and he would kill me if he found out. I’m meant to be helping him on site tomorrow.” You laughed.

“Darlin’…” Joel warned. “Where are you?” He asked and you could hear the edge in his voice.

“‘M fine, actually. I’ll get a cab.” You mumbled and walked to the edge of the sidewalk, looking down the street. You stumbled, your ankle rolled and your phone slipped out of your hand. “Fuck!” You cursed, kneeling down to pick up your phone again.

“Where are you? Princess, are ya okay?” He called, you could hear his voice as your brought your phone back up to your ear.

“Fine. I’m fine. I’m um, I’m at the bar in town.” You mumbled and sat on the edge of the sidewalk, your limbs feeling too heavy to stand fully again. He knew exactly what bar you were referring to, Joel had picked you up from it far too many times.

“I’ll be ten minutes. Be careful.” Joel commanded and with that, he hung up the phone.

You swallowed thickly, your heart hammered against your chest as you sat and waited for Joel. You had discarded your heels beside you and you rubbed your sore feet as the cool air sunk down to your bones.

You had been out with a couple friends for the night, and in all fairness, you hadn’t really had a lot to drink but stupidly you drank on an empty stomach which meant the alcohol hit your head harder than intended. Joel was your dad’s best-friend, he lived a couple streets away from you and he had bailed you out like this on more than one occasion.

You had developed quite the crush on Joel over the past couple of years; you weren’t sure whether it was down to his salt and pepper hair, his broad shoulders or aging looks but something about the older male drove you well and truly mad.

You hugged your frame tightly, pulling your small dress to your torso, trying to gain a fraction of heat from within yourself; it didn’t work and you shivered as you sat there nervously waiting for Joel to arrive.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing waiting around in the cold? How ‘bout you come back to mine and I’ll keep you real warm.” An unfamiliar voice called out to you and you felt your stomach drop immediately. You kept your eyes fixed on your sore feet and tried your best to ignore the male looming over you. “Hm? Not much of a talker? That’s okay baby, I don’t need words to show you a good time.” He slurred.

“I’m w-waiting for a friend, sorry. I’ve got a boyfriend.” You replied meekly, the lie not sounding convincing, even to yourself.

“Ha. Yeah right, silly bitch. As if you could get a boyfriend, stuck up cunt.” He cursed at you and you winced away from his words timidly. “Wouldn’t wanna waste my time on you anyway, slag.” He shouted out and spat on the floor next to you, narrowly avoiding you.

You got up away from it as you saw him turn and walk away, you were just grateful for him to have left you alone without too much of a fight although his words stung and tears were pricking at your eyes. You shivered and picked your heels up, you looked down the street and felt your nerves calm as you saw the familiar sight of Joel’s truck approaching.

You weren’t sure if it was the interaction that just happened, the booze that thrummed throughout your body or even just the approaching safety of Joel that caused the tears to fall aggressively. You sniffled and try to take a few calming breaths but it only seemed to make it worse and as Joel stepped out of his truck, you let out a shaky sob.

“What’s the matter, princess?” Joel asked concernedly, the nickname falling from his lips with ease. He always had some term of endearment for you but now, it only seemed to make you cry a little harder.

“T-there, there was a guy.” You sobbed, your voice shaking.

Joel took off his jacket and immediately wrapped it around your shoulders, he scooped you off the cold sidewalk with ease and placed you in the passenger seat of his truck. He went around the other side and climbed in before buckling the two of you in.

“I’m gonna drive a couple streets over, let you warm up and calm down and then we can have a chat about what happened, sound good, darlin’? You okay with that?” He asked, his warm voice was like a hot cup of cocoa.

You nodded and sniffed, you were pretty sure there would be make up running down your cheeks but you couldn’t care less.

Joel drove in silence, he had placed a warm hand to your cold knee and let his rough thumb smooth over your skin. The small action made you blush and you felt embarrassed for crying so hard in front of Joel. You weren’t sure whether it was the safety of Joel of the previous interaction but you felt almost stone cold sober, any feeling of intoxication had left you; now, all you could focus on was the feeling of Joel’s hand and how you wished it would inch up higher under your dress. You had pulled the mirror down and wiped away some excess makeup and you took a few shaky breaths as you slowly started to warm up and calm down fully.

Joel pulled his truck over, it was a dimly lit street and it was dead silent outside. He turned his engine off and turned to look at you with concern deep in his brown eyes. You undid your seatbelt to turn to the older male, you had shimmied his jacket off your shoulders as you warmed up and you bit on your lip as you contemplated your words.

“I-I’m really sorry about all of this,” you gestured up and down your body. “I didn’t mean to cry, and I’m really sorry for, well for no doubt waking you up. Please don’t tell my dad, he’ll kill me!” You whined, your voice still rough and shaky.

“It’s okay,” Joel said softly, placing his hand on your leg again, this time it was a couple inches higher and it sat on your thigh. He once again smoothed his thumb over your skin and you couldn’t help but shiver under his touch. “Are you still cold? Do you want the heat on?” He asked, reaching for his keys.

“N-no! I’m fine. I’m fine.” You whispered.

“What happened back there, do you wanna talk about it?” Joel asked softly.

“There was a guy, he was a complete dickhead. It was nothing, I think I’m just overreacting. He um, he tried to take me home so I lied and said I have a boyfriend and then he called me a stuck up cunt and uh, he said that no man would want me…” your voice trailed off as the sting of the harsh words started again. “Which like, I guess it’s true, like I’m single, clearly for a reason but a stranger didn’t have to say that to me, y’know?” You whispered and stared down into your lap feeling insecure.

Joel frowned and shook his head as you spoke. He wanted to find the man to upset you like that and he wanted to hurt him for every making you feel less than worthy. He couldn’t understand how any person could look at you and think that; to Joel, you were near perfect aside from the tiny detail of being his friend’s daughter.

“Cupcake, you’re perfect. That guy is an immature idiot, I’m sorry he said those things to you.” He said quietly, his voice calmed you down and you melted under his gaze. Joel hooked his fingers under your chin to get you to look at him once more. You smiled weakly at him as you took in his appearance. Suddenly the air in the truck felt suffocating and your skin burned.

“Joel,” you whispered, you could feel the tension between you two, it was palpable and thick. “Can I?” You asked quietly before closing the space between you both and pressing a kiss to his lips.

It took a second for Joel to register what you had done, he should have pulled away from you, told you no and took you home without another word but he wasn’t doing that, instead he knotted his fingers into your hair and he pulled you closer to kiss you deeper. You moaned softly as the kiss deepened, Joel’s tongue swiped along your bottom lip and he tasted the vanilla scent of your glossy lips. You opened your mouth willing for the older man as he commanded the kiss, his tongue explored your mouth and it had you whimpering from the back of your throat. Joel tasted of mint and vague hint of coffee, it made you feel drunker than any of the drinks you had consumed that night.

When he finally pulled away from the kiss, you sucked in a deep breath as you calmed yourself down. Your cheeks were flushed pink with embarrassment and you sank back into your seat timidly.

“I—“ you spoke but Joel cut you off with his own words.

“I’m sorry, I took advantage of you there. It was a moment of weakness; you were upset and you kissed me and I’m sorry, darlin’. It won’t ever happen again. Fuck.” He mumbled and went to turn the key in the ignition again.

“Don’t.” You said softly and held his arm still. “Fuck me.” You whispered, your voice barely there but in the silence of the night it sounded like a scream.

“What?!” Joel asked ludicrously. “Princess, you’re my friend’s daughter. I’m almost double the age of you. You don’t want this. You’re just in a vulnerable state a-and you’re drunk!” Joel argued, clearly trying to convince himself it was a bad idea as he rubbed his hand through his facial hair.

“True, I am but I don’t see my dad here and he doesn’t have to know! Age is a number, Joel, I’m a woman, an adult! I do want this, I’ve wanted it for an embarrassingly long time and I’m not vulnerable or drunk, I had a bad experience and I cried and I’m okay!” You justified. “Does that check your list off?” You jested.

“I don’t know…” Joel said, surely he was being pranked and any moment your dad would pop up, shake his hand and thank him for being a true gentleman.

“Fuck me. Please. I want it.” You whined, all but begging the male as your fingers toyed with the hem of your dress to flash your skimpy, lace panties at Joel.

He made a small noise from the back of his throat as he could see the outline of your cunt through the fabric. You were there, looking so perfect and he wanted you, badly, even though he knew he shouldn’t. He should be better than this, stronger than this but he couldn’t resist when you spread your legs a little further to flash more of yourself to him.

“I’m going to hell.” He groaned and leant forward to bring you in for a bruising kiss once more. “Get in the back.” He commanded and you nodded before climbing between the seats until you were in the back of the vehicle.

Joel exited his truck and was at the back passenger door within seconds; he slid into the seat next to you and you felt your heart flutter.

“Take your dress off, I wanna see you whilst you ride me.” Joel whispered, palming his half hard cock through the fabric of his rough denim.

You obliged happily and quickly pulled off your dress, all inhibitions and nerves had gone out of the window.

“Fuck, look at you. Look at your body, so perfect.” Joel complimented and you were grateful for the dimly lit truck as you felt your cheeks burn deeply.

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, not knowing how to take the compliment.

You wasted no more time and you swung your legs over Joel’s lap; his face was level with your breasts and it made his mouth water hungrily. He brought a hand up and ripped down one of the cups of your bra, he grabbed the soft flesh of your breast and brought a nipple into his mouth. His teeth nipped at the bud, just as quick, his tongue darted out to soothe the sting with pleasure. You arched your back and pressed your breasts forward, his other hand came up to repeat the process. His fingers grabbed the edge and ripped the cup down, you heard the stitches rip and it caused the fabric to fall limply. Mentally, you cursed the male for that and would definitely bring it up later but right this second, Joel was working his mouth over one of your nipples and his fingers tweaked your other one. Right in that moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care in the slightest.

“Need your cock.” You breathed, your fingers intertwining into Joel’s soft locks.

“If we weren’t cramped in the back of my truck right now, I would spread you out and lick your pussy until you were begging for me to stop.” Joel huffed, fumbling with his belt buckle and buttons of his jeans, trying to free his member.

“Hurry up.” You whined, lifting yourself backwards so Joel could access himself more.

“Patience, sweet girl.”

Joel let out a soft groan as he finally freed himself from his jeans, he throbbed in his hand as he gave himself a few strokes whilst you sat back gently and admired Joel’s length and thickness. You looped your arms tightly around Joel’s neck and brought yourself closer to him once again, deciding enough was enough. You swatted his hand away gently as you took his length and gently pressed it to your slick entrance. Your whole body shuddered as you sank down onto his length.

A raw moan ripped from your throat as your walls stretched around his thick cock, he stroked at your thighs and leant forward to press sloppy kisses to your chest.

“Good girl,” He groaned against your skin. “Such a good girl for me, that’s it. Take me all in. Tell me how it feels.”

“J-Joel! So good, you’re so big. Stretching me out s-so good.” You whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper as your hips ground back and forth as you stretched yourself out on Joel.

He smiled against your sensitive skin and nipped at your chest, a red mark beginning to bloom in its wake. He took his hands and grabbed at your hips roughly, urging you to move on him.

“Come on, move for me, good girl.”

You nodded, looking down at Joel’s features as you rose from his cock and pushed yourself back down onto him, working up a steady pace albeit a bit awkwardly in the limited space of his truck. Your fingers scratched at the fabric of Joel’s shirt as you bounced in his lap.

Joel released his grip from one of your hips and wound his hand between you both just so he could circle your clit with his thumb; you arched your back and allowed the older male more space to access your sensitive bud. As soon as his rough thumb made contact with you, you gasped loudly and let out an animalistic moan before Joel released your other hip and pressed a finger to your lips, shushing you.

“Don’t want people to hear anything and come looking now, do we darlin’?”

You shook your head no in response and bit into your bottom lip to try and keep yourself quiet. Joel just smirked up at you and worked his thumb faster as your hips began to falter and you worked yourself on his cock in messy bounces. Your thighs were shaking, burning with the effort as you could feel your orgasm creeping up on you.

“Wanna take a risk? You’ll have to be real good and quiet for me though.”

“W-what do you have in mind?” You asked, your voice a small whimper as you stopped your movements.

“I wanna fuck you like you truly deserve but I can’t do it in the space of the truck. How bout you get out of the truck, stand in the door, bend over the seats and I can fuck you good and proper from behind. You’ll just have to be real quiet so we don’t get caught.” Joel explained and you nodded eagerly.

The thought of having sex with Joel was a turn on for you, it had been for a while but the thought of being fucked by Joel in a place where you could easily be caught caused you to be more turned on than you physically thought was possible.

Before you could process what you were doing or have any second thoughts or doubts, you were climbing off of Joel’s lap and opening the door to his truck to position yourself as he mentioned. You bent your body over the back seats and stuck your ass out, with your legs parted, to allow the male all the access he needed.

Joel was quick to appear behind you, wasting no time at all. He took his cock and pressed it to you, your fingers gripped in vein at the leather of the seats as you bit into your lip to keep yourself from making a sound. Joel thrust forward abruptly and within a second he was bottomed out in you. You let out a loud gasp, your eyes fluttered shut as delicate stars flashed behind your eyelids as Joel built up a steady pace of fucking into you.

“Good girl, taking my cock so well and in public. Naughty. What would your daddy say about this, hm?” Joel groaned, his voice low and sultry as he bent over your body to whisper the words into your ear.

“S-shut up!” You whined pathetically.

Joel let out a breathy chuckle and gripped your hips just a little bit tighter, you knew his pressing fingers were likely to leave marks on your delicate skin and you couldn’t wait to relish that feeling tomorrow as you relived this moment over and over in your head.

Joel released one of your hips and wound his hand under you so his fingers could tease your throbbing clit once more; his fingers made contact with your sensitive bud and in that second, you swore you died and went straight to heaven. You bit harder into your bottom lip until the faint, familiar tang of metal filled your mouth. You breathed deeply, your stomach heaving as Joel kept up his punishing rhythm of his hips and hand.

“I-Joel, I’m gonna —“ you whimpered, your fingers still searching for something to grip onto as your legs shook.

“Mhm, I know darlin’. That’s it. Cum for me, good girl.”

Your head dropped into your arm, your legs all but gave out as you finally came undone around Joel. Your head span ferociously as your walls fluttered around him, your stomach knotted and unknotted as you came harder than you ever had before. Joel worked you through your intense orgasm, his fingers and his cock never letting up, not even for a second.

Once he was sure you were done, he removed his hand from your clit and went back to your hips, he held you up as he quickly chased his own high. Soft whines left your lips as your body prickled with over sensitivity, Joel cooed and hushed you softly as he brought himself closer.

“I know, I know. Fuck, I’m almost there. Feels so good.” Joel hissed through gritted teeth, trying his hardest not to let out his moans of pleasure.

Your head still rested in your arms and you let out a gasp as you felt Joel’s hips falter behind you. He buried himself deep into you as his cock twitched and you felt the first spurts of his orgasm fill you up. He let out a quiet groan, his fingers tensed into your hips and you wiggled your ass as you clenched around him, milking him for what he was worth.

You stayed like that for a few more seconds, the night air was cool and deadly silent; the tension between you suddenly felt thick. Joel pulled out of you, he let out a small hiss through gritted teeth at the sensation and quickly tucked himself away into his jeans once more.

“I think I have some wet wipes and tissues in the glove box, uh, hold on and let me check.” Joel mumbled quietly, the silence suddenly being broken brought you back down to earth.

“Oh, uh. Thanks. Could you, um?” You whispered when Joel reappeared with the promised goods.

He nodded silently and quickly helped you clean up, it wasn’t ideal but it was a temporary fix before you could get home and shower.

“I should get you home, darlin’.”

Joel didn’t say another word, he silently opened up the truck door for you and soon went round to the drivers side. You nervously fumbled to dress yourself again, properly and climbed into the truck, Joel started the engine and soon the warm air filled the small air for which, you were grateful.

The drive back to your house was near silent, just the dull thrum of Joel’s truck engine and the low hum of the heater blowing air into the truck. Every so often you would open your mouth to speak but the words died weakly in your throat before you could actually form a sentence.

Joel pulled up at just down the street from your home that you shared with your dad, he could watch you go to safety but wasn’t close enough to rouse suspicions in case your dad saw his truck.

“Uh, thank you. For the- the lift and for uh, well. For the other thing.” You mumbled, staring into your lap before reaching into the footwell to grab your bag.

Your hand reached for the door handle when Joel didn’t respond and you felt your stomach sink, you could feel the silent resentment and regret laying thick in the air.

“Well I’ll see you around ours soon, no doubt. Thanks again, Joel.”

Joel grabbed your wrist, softly and it stopped you in your tracks, you turned to look at him and he pulled you in for a kiss; it was slow, sensual and passionate. It took you a few seconds to register what he was doing and you kissed him back with eagerness. He pressed his forehead to yours as he broke the kiss and his hot breath fanned across your kiss-swollen lips.

“I’m sorry, for tonight. I’m sorry if you regret it all.” You whispered, your eyes closing as you braced yourself for the reaction of the older man.

“Regret it?!” Joel asked abruptly, his voice a little too loud for the early hours of the morning. “Sorry, I just, I mean why would I, of all people, regret this? Regret you?! It should be the other way round. I’m just your dad’s best friend, a silly old man.” He chuckled.

“Don’t say that.” You frowned and opened your eyes to look at him once more. “You’re… you’re you, you’re Joel, definitely not a silly old man. Maybe old but you’re handsome, caring and a great fuck. Definitely not a silly old man.” You laughed as you teased him.

You kissed Joel once more, it was a quick peck and you sighed as you calmed yourself to leave the truck.

“Look, obviously I’m not gonna say anything about this to my dad, clearly.” You reassured him. “We can pretend this never happened or…”

“Or?…”

“We could meet up and do this again, and again… and again.” You smirked at him.

“I choose the latter. Pick you up tomorrow night once your old man has gone to bed?” Joel grinned boyishly at you.

“See you then, old man.” You teased and exited the vehicle before you got wrapped up with the male once again.

He laughed and shot a middle finger in your direction as you walked, showing off his immature side that you adored so much. You giggled, walking backwards towards your house, heels and bag tucked under one of your arms and you flipped him off back before turning to walk the right way and you slapped your ass jokingly in the direction of Joel’s truck.

He watched as you unlocked your house door and snuck inside the darkness. He grinned to himself as he started his engine and was already counting down the hours until he could have you again.

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#dbf!joel #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader

346 notes · View notes

yutafrita · 9 months

Text

WITCH WAY DID YOU GO?

Jaehyun x Witch!Reader/ Warlock!Mark x Witch!Reader

Thank you @markleelately for the request <3 I hope you like it and that it was worth the wait!

WC: 3.1K

Genre: Angst, Fantasy, Thriller/ Mystery

WARNINGS: Mentions of death, missing persons case, references to the police, food, alcohol, mentions of psychological abuse, occult references and imagery, toxic relationship behaviors. Please read at your own risk.

The fortune teller tapped the old oak table three times, her eyes closed. Well, she wasn’t so much a fortune teller. She was just witch with a small amount of clairvoyance, but you had gotten desperate over these past three years. Rosé recommended her to you, and every other door had been slammed in your face.

“Hm… he’s alive,” the teller stated, her hand now twitching and her eyes moving rapidly under eyelids. You held back a groan. This was something you already knew- every spell you had done to see if Jaehyun was alive showed that he was alive- but no locator spell had proven successful. The human police force in this country had turned up nothing besides his engagement ring (he insisted he wore a small band with you while you were engaged), and everyone in the magical force was perplexed and unhelpful.

The magical force was also none too elated by you caring so much about a human, but you gave up on giving a shit after the first year Jaehyun disappeared.

“He… that’s strange,” her eyes snapped open, and she hunched over to bring something onto the table. Tarot Cards. You were going to kill Rosé. The fortune teller placed a major arcana down. “He’s stuck,” she muttered before she looked up and pointed to the card, “this is the tower reversed. It means-.”

“I know what it means,” you cut her off. You were over this game. “Averting disaster, fear of change.”

She wagged her finger, “typically, yes. But,” she placed her hand over the card, “for you, for us witches, this means something else. It means he’s quite literally trapped and afraid.”

You furrowed your brows. This was a new development. You had been told he was probably devoured by a creature, that he was obliterated, or even that he simply ran away from you. But to say he was trapped was something different.

“Trapped where?” you pressed, your stomach filling with nerves.

She sucked her teeth, her eyes meeting yours again, “I can’t see that. Someone far more powerful than me has placed a spell over your human companion.”

You blinked, “another witch has him trapped? Why?” you bit down on your thumb nail, trying to think. You hadn’t told Jaehyun that you were a witch, let alone for him to willingly go with someone who had magic abilities. The only other witch he had ever met was Rosé, and she wasn’t exactly interested in keeping him hostage.

“All I can tell is that there was quite a bit of jealousy put into this spell, it’s riddled with envy,” the fortune teller swatted the air around her as if she could feel the green monster itself.

“You’re not fucking with me,” you didn’t ask, but rather stated this.

“I don’t fuck around with other witches,” she chuckled, “I don’t want whatever the hell is going on with you to happen to me.”

“Great,” you sighed, digging through your bag to take out your wallet. Her hand wrapped around your elbow and you looked up.

“It’s… on the house sweetie. Here,” she extended the tower tarot card to you, “keep this. I need to get rid of this set anyways. That energy is bad for business.”

You entered your small studio apartment later that evening, the card still in your hands. You had been living in this country for three years, but still had unopened boxes strewn about. You didn’t mean to move here, but after Jaehyun went missing during your trip, you refused to leave until you could find him.

If only you did things differently that night-.

No.

You refused to wallow and blame yourself again. You needed to focus.

Your phone started ringing and you quickly answered.

“Why did my fortune teller call me crying?” Rosé asked. You shrugged, forgetting she couldn’t see you. This was your everyday disaster, you couldn't fathom a random witch with a small clairvoyance gift being so saddened by it they called just to cry.

“Well, she said the energy was so foul it brought her to tears,” Rosé then lowered her voice, “this sounds like some serious shit.”

“Rosé, the love of my life has been missing for three years. It’s kind of always been serious shit to me.”

“No, of course it is. What I mean is- whatever is happening, this magic is some serious shit.”

You sighed in defeat, a tear sliding down your cheek in frustration, “I know. I… I’ll talk to you later Rosé.”

She was quiet for a moment on the other end of the line, “I… you should come home.”

“I’m not doing this again. I’m not leaving until-.”

“Until he’s back I know but… I miss you. We all miss you,” you could hear her voice shaking, and for the thousandth time, you felt you heart break. You needed to find Jaehyun, but you knew in the process the other people who loved you were in a pain of their own.

“I know, I’m sorry. I have to go,” you hung up before she could reply, and you broke down crying. How many more nights would go by with you sobbing as you tried to figure out how he disappeared? Your tears were stinging your cheeks as you held yourself.

You missed Jaehyun. He always knew what to do to brighten his and everyone's spirits. Just being around him made the room brighter. His goofy sense of humor coupled with the sweet little dimples he had with his permanent smile… you couldn’t fathom never seeing him again.

Another day passed. Another week. Another month with no updated on Jaehyun.

You were able to pull some strings and get a job at the country’s Magical administration. You got it after the first few months of Jaehyun’s disappearance since your savings had run dry.

On this particular week at work you were walking to your next meeting when a faerie approached you.

“I’m taking you out on the town,” Lisa stated this as if it were a matter of fact. She was flying a foot off the ground, making it difficult for you to move around her in the crowded hall.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes! Please? I have a friend visiting tonight that I haven’t seen in forever and I’m scared of it being awkward,” she pleaded, the glitter from her wings flicking off and making you cough. “He’s gonna bring a friend- he says it’s a warlock!”

“I’m not interested in being set up, Lisa.”

“You’re not being set up! He’s from where you’re from, so I thought it would be cool!”

Now this piqued your interest. There weren’t a whole lot of Witches to begin with, and even less warlocks to speak of, so for there to be a warlock from the same place as you meant you likely knew them.

“When and where?” you sighed. Lisa cheered and landed back on the ground as she told you all of the details, finally allowing you to go to your meeting in peace.

Jaehyun was the spontaneous one. You knew he would be happy you somewhat made last minute plans, even if you were just curious as to who it was that was friends with your coworkers friend.

You and Lisa later walked across the street to the bar, her wings concealed under a bulky sweater as she chatted wildly about her old college faerie friend.

“Ten is interviewing for the admin tomorrow but I promised I’d meet with him before,” she explained. As much as you liked to pretend moving here wasn’t lonely, that was far from the truth. Lisa was bubbly and affectionate, and has made you feel welcomed from the first day you met her- her friend, Ten, was just the same.

It was who Ten brought with him that made you surprised.

“Mark?”

“Oh, wow!” Mark leapt up from the bar top, rushing over and hugging you. “I haven’t seen you in years!”

“Three, to be exact,” you forced a laugh as you and Lisa sat across from the duo. Mark had grown up in the same town as you, Rosé, and Jaehyun. He was the only warlock in town, and you three would often meet once a week to practice your magic abilities. Warlock’s were naturally less powerful than witches, so growing up Mark was often behind compared to you two witches. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s the funniest thing- Mark and I are roommates and we both somehow got job interviews tomorrow for the administration.”

“Wow, what kind of luck is that?” Lisa laughed, and you forced a smile. You looked over to Mark and he sent you a wink, confirming your suspicions- he used a small luck charm to make it so they interviewed the same day. No luck charm would be strong enough to do more than that, but it still surprised you that Mark was even able to manage this.

Mark scored the job, of course. After speaking with him that night, you learned that he had been training non-stop and was able to compensate for his lack of natural magical ability with his sheer knowledge in all things spell casting. He ended up in your same department too, and oddly enough moved into a building close by, so you ended up walking to work together most days.

“Why do you walk to work instead of just teleporting in?” Mark asked one day. You didn’t know how to explain it- but doing a mundane task of just walking two blocks over helped remind you of Jaehyun. He loved morning walks, and even though it meant waking up an extra ten to fifteen minutes early, you loved them too.

“I just like how simple it feels,” is what you settled on. Mark shrugged. You knew he knew of your engagement- you wore your engagement ring as a necklace- and that he knew of Jaehyun’s disappearance, but he never asked about it. Mark was very open about his distaste for your human partner before you moved.

While it wasn’t exactly uncommon for a witch to marry a mortal, it was still deeply frowned upon.

“Yeah, Mark and I are going to the bowling alley tomorrow night,” you told Rosé one night as you poured over your notes. You were going through any spellbooks you could find to try and see about a spell as powerful as the one supposedly keeping Jaehyun to no avail.

“Oh, a date? That’s-!”

“Date? Absolutely not,” you couldn’t hide your laughter. “We’ve known Mark since we were all kids, he’s more like… an annoying brother.”

“A hot annoying brother.”

“Gross.”

“Admit it- he is hot as fuck.”

“I mean,” you paused, giving it thought before shaking your head angrily, “so what if he is? I’m engaged.”

Rosé was quiet again on the other end as you repeated yourself, “I’m engaged. Jaehyun’s alive.”

“Honey… he’s alive. Sure. But… wouldn’t he want you to I don’t know, live?”

She was right. Of course she was. Jaehyun was Mr. live-life-to-the-fullest- that’s how he went missing. However, you knew he wouldn’t want that to stop you. He’s so human, so sweet and positive.

So, when you went bowling with Mark, you pounded two shots of vodka to help quell your fears.

“Do you still have a crush on me?” you stupidly asked him after he beat you in bowling. His eyes went wide before he burst out laughing, his smile wide and his ears red with embarrassment.

“Why are you asking?” he asked through his laughter. You shrugged, looking away as you mulled through your thoughts.

“Do you still hate humans?” you asked rather loudly, completely disregarding the humans in the bowling alley now staring at you. Mark stood up, a nervous smile on his face as he wrapped an arm over your shoulder to walk you away.

“I don’t… hate humans. I said all those things because I had a crush on you and felt like you owed me something… I was wrong obviously and I’m sorry. And… I’m sorry about Jaehyun,” Mark looked you in the eyes as he apologized. It felt sincere.

“You said he wasn’t worth the gum at the bottom of your broom,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, and that was fucking wrong.”

“Yeah… well… we were younger and dumber.”

“Oh, for sure,” he laughed, and you joined in, ignoring the stares you got in the street.

“Hey, I have that board game we used to play.”

“Oh, witches brew? I haven’t played that in forever,” you chuckled at the memory of beating Mark almost every game.

“Yeah? Do you wanna come over and play?”

You followed Mark to his place and stayed the night, never at any point touching the board game.

*****

You and Mark got engaged a year after you started dating. He was smart, organized, and easy to be around. You didn’t have to think much around him- he knew exactly where everything in the chaotic mess of your studio apartment was, and even helped you move your stuff into his apartment with a randomly specific spell you had no idea even existed.

All this, and you still missed Jaehyun. You wore the ring Mark gave you on your left ring finger, and still wore the ring Jaehyun gave you on a chain over your heart. You had to get a new chain after Mark accidentally broke your first one, but you were fine getting one that poked out less.

The cops had officially called Jaehyun’s case a cold case and the fortune teller hadn’t offered anything new.

“Rosé will be here next week,” you told Mark one night after work.

“Oh yeah?”

“She insisted on helping me look for a dress.”

“I wish I was allowed to join,” he poked your arm, hoping for a change in your decision. He had taken over most of the wedding planning, but the dress and the wedding date were the two things you refused to budge on.

“You’ll see on the wedding day,” you offered, leaning in and dropping a kiss on his cheek.

The wedding day.

You were alone in your bridal suite, pacing up and down. You squeezed Jaehyun’s ring, your fingers trembling. You stopped in front of the mirror, staring at yourself.

Jaehyun proposed to you the day before he went missing in the forest. You two were on the trip you had been saving months for- a national forest that was beautiful and quaint. You remembered the feeling each payday of shoving a hundred bucks into the mason jar, and how excited you both were upon your arrival.

It was quiet, just the two of you, alone. It was a three night camping trip, and after Jaehyun’s proposal, you two spent that second night staring up at the stars through the tall trees.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered for what felt like the hundredth time.

“It sure is,” Jaehyun whistled. His hand moved to grab yours, “but you’re still more beautiful.”

“Corny,” you teased.

And then, he said, “we should play hide and seek.”

You sat up, “are you a child?”

Jaehyun sat up too, and with only the moonlight you could still see his bright smile, “you make me feel like a kid- if that counts.”

You should have berated him. It was stupid. You agreed to stay within shouting distance, especially since you didn’t have signal on your phones. You should have said no.

But you didn’t. And you searched for hours. The cops searched for hours.

And now, on your wedding day, it’s been five years and a day.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you held back your tears, and moved to remove your necklace. It was almost time-.

“Beautiful,” the voice made your heart stop and your eyes open. This wasn’t real. You turned around, refusing to believe that he was here. You were trembling all over now, trying to decipher what you were looking at.

It was Jaehyun- exactly as you remembered him. In that same long sleeved shirt and cargo pants. His hair is no different in length or color either. He had been bleaching it blonde, and it didn’t even look like a single root had grown in all these years.

“You’re not real,” you whimpered. Without warning, Jaehyun rushed forward and wrapped you in a tight hug. You could feel his heartbeat pressed against your chest. He smelled as sweet as you remembered. His skin felt warm. He was real- this was not some figment of your imagination. You didn’t feel any magical illusion coming off of him. This was Jaehyun, somehow, in the flesh.

“I was so scared,” he whispered, his face burrowed in your neck. You gently moved back, having to force yourself to break apart from his hug.

“Jaehyun… what happened?”

He gulped, looking over his shoulder at the shut door before he took something out from his back pocket.

“I… He…” it was a tarot card that he handed to you. The tower.

“Who is he?” you were terrified, seeing that the card was ripped down the center.

“Who are you getting married to?” was Jaehyun’s response, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Mark… there was no way he alone could have this power you thought.

Unless…

“Rosé,” you spit out her name as soon as you heard your maid of honor answer her phone, “your powers.”

“You really want to talk about magic right now? I’m headed to your dressing room-.”

“No, do not come here,” you hissed, “Rosé… your powers are almost gone, aren’t they?”

The rustling on the other end stopped. You felt like a fool for only now noticing the change in your friend. “I… I can’t say anything.”

“It was Mark,” was what you replied with, and you heard a small whimper on the other end of the line. “He stole your fucking powers to trap Jaehyun in the tarot all those years ago, didn’t he?”

“You have to go before he finds out,” she was whispering into the line now, and you felt your stomach turn. “Please. I can keep everyone in the chapel for twenty minutes, but you two need to go now.”

“Thank you, Rosé.”

“Go!” the line went dead, and you looked back at Jaehyun.

Mark had kept Jaehyun in a frozen, petrified state in the card for five years. It seemed that, according to Jaehyun, that yesterday he just found himself back in the forest. You had made it out of town as he explained what he knew, an ache still in your chest.

“I just… knew I had to come to the chapel,” was what he said. That night, in the forest, right before he was trapped, Mark had appeared and was the last thing Jaehyun saw all those years ago. The terrible envy that filled Mark was enough to allow him to still Rosé’s powers, and he likely planned to steal yours as well if not for your friend’s warning.

“You’re not scared of me being a witch?” you asked Jaehyun, the engagement ring he gave you back on your finger where it belonged.

“I could never be scared of you.”

You knew you would have to face Mark again one day, and make him pay for the terror he had caused, but for now, you were more than willing to steal a moment of happiness with Jaehyun somewhere where Mark couldn’t find you two for a while. You two deserved that much.

Permatag! @nini0620

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