#levi.thoughts
Text
The floorboards whisper creaks under your feet as you step into your and Levi’s bedroom.
Only for you to stop just to smile at the sight before you. It didn’t take you more than a minute to get a glass of water before bed. Levi was pulling on a sweatshirt when you left; he’s slightly curled up under the covers, and now that it’s winter, he’s more of a shapeless lump. The puffy white duvet on top rests below his chin. With his eyes peacefully closed, fewer creases show than usual.
He doesn’t open his eyes. “Stop leaving.”
“I only left once…” you chuckle. "Awe, did you miss me?”
“No…” he mumbles. His eyes are still closed.
You feign a small ecstatic gasp as you walk over to him, setting down the water, and then placing a light kiss on his forehead.
“Are you sleepy already?”
He grunts unhappily. “Answers come at a cost.”
“And that is?”
“Getting in bed.”
You stroke his hair, still smiling. This placates him a little.
"Bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?"
"Mm."
You wander to the bathroom, but stop in the doorway, to sneak one more peek. He’s suffered rampant sleeplessness in all the years you’ve known him, in part by force. So seeing him this carefree and relaxed…
You count yourself lucky.
He must think you’re gone. He curls up more, lips pulling down in a small pout as the outline of his arm under the cover descends to help along his bad leg and the pillow it’s propped on. But the annoyance fades from his expression soon after pressing his cheek into the thick pillow under his head, making it squish. He sighs softly.
It's so blatantly adorable that you stand there for a moment, unsure of what to even do with yourself.
You finish up in the bathroom as briskly but as quietly as possible. It's a little silly for how mundane it is, but you don't want to miss even a moment of this for the world. When was the last time Levi snuggled up under covers or mumbled on the edge of dozing off without a care? Never?
You switch off the light, so all that's left is the small lamp glowing gently on your side. Before rounding the bed, you let yourself take in the sight for a beat longer.
When was the last time you smiled to yourself without a care like this? Never.
You switch the light off and pull down the covers as subtly as possible before joining him, curling up at his back. When you drape your arm around his waist, he makes a tiny chirrup sound like a cat.
When you're all settled, you kiss the top of his head, sighing softly. His hair is so soft.
He sighs the same. Lazily, he takes your arm and nudges it tighter around his middle, before his breathing falls deep.
You smile once again.
#levi x reader#levi x you#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman fluff#twice in one day jajajaja#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman fic#levi.thoughts
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I was thinking.
I was thinking what it would be like if you confessed to Levi.
Because like...my bro will literally PANIC.
I mean sure. He's a pretty man. Girl's are always clinging onto him. Love confessions are a daily thing. Random sappy letters or gifts left on his desk from people he doesn't even know.
But then it's you. Nuh uh. Nope.
Because you're so perfect to him right? You're pretty and smart and confident and you're so fun to be around but he's so fucking grumpy. Why on earth would you like him? He's just glad he exists in the same world you do, damn he's fucking grateful. And you're even friends with him, you spend so much time with him what else would he want from you right?
He wants many many many things from you but he will not think about that.
Imagine you liking him. No? What?
But then you're in his office and you're telling him you have something important to tell him but then you start saying things that he literally cannot comprehend why would you like him what do you mean you like him you're insane you're confused what the hell are you talking about?
Levi would straight up go “No, you don’t.” with the deadest expression when you finally tell him you like him. He panics okay. DEADASS. There’s no other way to say it. He’s like all cool and calm and composed and he’s staring at you with blank gray eyes and inside he’s like wtfwtwfwtfdoirunawayiwannarunawaywhatdoidoineedfoureyestodealwiththiswtf
Avoids you for the rest of the day…or life.
You will have to go to the most insane extent to get him to speak to you again (With a little bullying from Hange) and talk about it. Because he’ll refuse to talk about it and pretend it never happened.
When you do confront him to talk about it and like clear things though, he’s like…’’Okay’’.
Absolute dumbfuck.
(He will never never never ever directly admit his feelings for you, BUT you'll know it's a yes because he will slowly, carefully, cautiously slid his fingers between yours and squeeze your hand. Just. ever. so. slightly.)
#levi ackerman#levi#aot#levi heichou#levi rant#shy levi#captain levi#levi headcanons#attack on titan fanfiction#aot levi x reader#captain levi x reader#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi fluff#levi heichou x reader#levi x reader#levi x reader imagine#levi.thoughts#levi x you#levi x y/n#aot levi
303 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need levi to just stroke my hair and lightly run his fingers over my skin while we nap, rain hitting the roof in big swollen drops, a rhythm lulling us to sleep in the lazy, late summer afternoon. anyway.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
What if Levi's cravat- the last bit of his mother that he has- was also destroyed during the explosion? That is the last time we see it..
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Levi’s also the type of guy who - before you’re dating - will take every single conceivable romantic or flirtatious signal and have it go right over his head.
he’s super street smart otherwise, he can read body language and probably understand someone’s mood before even they do, he notices everything, but he’s suchhhh an amateur at romance that it just doesn’t compute.
if you blush at something he says he’ll honestly feel a little bad, he thinks he embarrassed you
he’s not used to receiving casual friendly touches so if you touched his arm or shoulder he’d flinch. once he gets used to it he’ll assume you’re like hange and you’re just like that.
if you smile at him a lot he’s going to wonder if there’s something on his face maybe. or come up with a technique to make you smile like that more often, even though it doesn’t make sense to him, because he likes making you smile :)
honestly if you asked him out to lunch or another “date like” event, he’ll be pretty pleased you like his company.
you need to be straightforward, but even then, he’ll look for any sign that you’re teasing him or that he’s missing something for most of the confrontation, because it doesn’t make sense in his mind why YOU would be interested in someone as aloof/awkward/plain as him. it’s partly disbelief and partly inexperience.
#lol#levi x reader#levi ackerman hc#levi ackerman headcanons#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi.thoughts
407 notes
·
View notes
Text
yes when levi loves you, he’ll protect you by any means necessary, with his corpse if not his life.
but honestly if you’re taking a picture and you ask him to make a silly face, and he tries does? it’s not till death do us part; consider yourselves married in the afterlife. and after that.
#i am… infected with the image of levi sticking out his tongue for a picture#EXCEPT HE LOOKS ANGY ABT IT#SIGKWJFKW#levi ackerman#levi aot#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman hc#snk levi#snk levi acketman#captain levi#levi heichou#rivaille heichou#levi rivaille#levi ackerman aot#levi.thoughts
241 notes
·
View notes
Note
PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you
He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING
IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint
the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'
i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed
*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology
tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)
Foreword
I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.
I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.
Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.
I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.
*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*
Childhood
The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.
Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.
Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style
Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.
As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.
As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.
With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.
And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.
While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.
Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia
Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).
AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34
This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.
There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.
Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.
The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.
Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)
This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.
Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.
(for reference)
AOT ch69
The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.
In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.
This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.
This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.
Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.
From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).
Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.
Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death
As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.
He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.
How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.
AOT ch69
This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.
Adolescence
Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!
Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity
It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.
That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).
The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.
Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.
AOT ch69
Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).
The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.
Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.
If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.
What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.
OCD Propensity
One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.
In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.
His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.
This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.
Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.
Lack of Self Worth
Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.
Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.
In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.
This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.
He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.
Young Adulthood
Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.
(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)
Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation
Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.
ACWNR ch2
He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.
He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).
There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.
Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.
Antisocial Personality…?
It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.
Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.
However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)
However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.
I go into more detail about this idea here.
Conclusion
As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.
Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview
C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.
Negative/Absent Sense of Self
I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.
His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.
Emotional Dysregulation
The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).
It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.
As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.
Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.
Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment
Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.
These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.
Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.
Anxiety
His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.
OCD
Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.
OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.
Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)
It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.
There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.
EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)
Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.
In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.
I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.
That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).
The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.
As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.
He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.
Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.
Misc.
Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:
Queer?
Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.
With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).
MDD
The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.
Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).
Body Language
Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.
Also see this official art of Levi asleep.
Afterword
We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.
Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.
However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.
In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.
My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:
C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)
OCD (contamination obsessions)
EDNOS
#levi aot#snk levi#levi ackerman#levi attack on titan#captain levi#captain levi ackerman#aot levi#aot levi ackerman#attack on titan levi#aot meta#levi heichou#rivaille heichou#levi rivaille#rivaille ackerman#lance corporal rivaille#levi snk#levi.thoughts#aot#attack on titan
249 notes
·
View notes
Text
every—lesser known—canon fact about Levi Ackerman.
infamously over the years, there have been countless false rumors about Levi in particular out of the cast. many of them have become popular, even ubiquitous, and it's annoying!
and also disheartening when you find out it's not true....
and hurtful when you realize it was - sometimes - made up by trolls.
so i'm making this post<3
credit to @levisfavoriteacup for the idea!!
*disclaimer: i'm not perfect, so this may not be Everything™️ but I am confident that it's the majority of information available, and that it's trustworthy. :)
First the most populars. There is no evidence across interviews nor other content over the years that:
Levi is ugly, and is considered ugly in AOT.
Nope. See here: (tumblr link), or:
Isayama finished his first sketch of Levi mostly on a whim, but the moment he drew his face, he had a sense it would work well / he knew he had something good. Something told him: "the yaoi fangirls are going to like this one".
As time passed and his popularity grew, Isayama caught onto this and wanted to portray him more attractively (in multiple ways) to the viewer/reader.
But from the beginning, this was something of the goal. He is short because Isayama had in mind what young women/fangirls in Japan consider attractive: a man with a higher-pitch voice; has a small face; and who is "short but strong".
In the world of AOT, he (in a nutshell) is mostly considered plain or awkward, but combined with his reputation and style, he's very charming. "He cleans up nice." Overall, it is positive :) But more importantly, realistic I think.
He's also something of a celebrity. People who advertise their product as being used by him are more successful; when he's seen in a shop, this by itself is considered "advertising" and more people come in. Quote: ""the tea that the hero bought”".
He's definitely not a 2/10 at any rate😇.
—the 24th episode of Naoki Yoshida's Anime Plan, 2013 / Interview with Frau Magazine, 2013 | Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure
Levi’s type would be someone who’s "tough, feminine and sensual".
Levi's type "might" be tall people. But context matters, because in multiple translations "don't you think?" and "might be" are thrown around a lot. Isayama isn't known for his clarity. When asked, he practically said the question right back.
—fan Q&A from a festival in Betsumaga, Aug.2014
What this quote might have come from is a statement by the author of an article Isayama was likely involved in. I can't say this is 100% canon, but in my opinion it's a little less canon than the Smartpass AUs; if those are sub-canon, then this is sub-sub-canon:
Levi's romantic type is someone who walks three steps behind him, and likes cleaning.
In the past, in Japanese culture, for a wife to walk three steps behind her husband implied highly traditional gender roles. What this is much more likely to mean is that Levi's romantic type is someone who will let him protect them, or will run away and survive even if it costs his life. (And they have to like cleaning.)
—the article is from 2013, and no longer exists. but the link was used as recently as 2021 as a source in this post by a reliable translator. I've found this quote also in varying qualities of translation across Japanese and English forums, so to the best of my knowledge, it's reliable.
Levi's cravat is a piece of his mother's dress + he was wearing her dress when Kenny found him.
This is a popular rumor that Isayama has never confirmed (i think it is true, tho.)
December 25th was chosen by his comrades because he doesn't know his actual birthday.
The guidebook only states that it is his birthday. I can't find any more context on this.
—AOT Guidebook; p.256
His character profile:
—AOT Guidebook; p.78–79
His name is Hebrew, and means "attached" or to be "joined".
Isayama came up with Levi's name after watching American documentary "Jesus Camp". (It's about a summer camp-type program where evangelical Christian children are taught extreme beliefs. One of the children was named Levi.) Isayama heard it and thought it sounded cool.
—Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) | 2010 blogpost by Isayama
Levi is in his early 30s (in s3/RtS/volume 19).
–Interview, Universal Studios Japan’s SNK THE REAL exhibition, 2016 | confirmation
If Kuchel was still alive, Levi would want to make sure she had an easy life. This means specifically filial piety, a concept exclusive to the East: he would fulfill his duties as a son for her.
(tldr he's a mama's boy :3)
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2019
Levi would have thin facial hair, but he prefers not to, so he shaves frequently.
—January 2020 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 124)
He doesn't like coffee milk or coffee jelly. They're out of the question even.🤐
—July 2018 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 106)
He just gets depressed when he drinks coffee. Maybe he loves tea that much?
He stopped calling Hange names like 'shitty glasses' since they became commander because he "seems" to respect their position that much.
However, a Smartpass story delves deeper into this (and states as I suspected):
[After Hange makes a joke] "Since becoming the commander succeeding Erwin, they’d toned down on their past speech and behaviour that had a touch of tomfoolery; Levi understanding that they were nevertheless trying to maintain the self “that was the case then”, also loses the will to curse at them."
+
"In the past, Hange had a Hange-type dream, and should have been progressing to that purpose. That lately, was it the weight of the office of commander, or was it due to the reality that is “all the world was our enemy”, their manner had changed considerably."
—May 2017 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 92) | Goodnight. Sweet dreams, dear. Act II: Levi
If he and Kenny had fought one-on-one, Levi would've won.
—December 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 87)
intermission: all about tea
His favorite "food" is black tea. No actual food.
He doesn't add sugar or milk to his tea because he considers it too expensive—which it is canonically. Despite this, he will share his tea with his comrades (his original squad as far as is seen).
Even though he's Captain, he'd rather drink it straight (the implications of which are he's a hardworking man, like that of a farmer. aka, this makes him seem humble).
If a time of peace ever came, Levi wants to open a black tea shop (he said in a dreamlike way, not so much based in reality).
He also knows a good amount of facts and history about it. He's a tea enthusiast!!
Levi receives pilfered tea in shipments monthly, thanks to Erwin.
—AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 2 | Part 1 | Taking shelter from the rain reprise: Levi and Peaure | Bessatsu Magazine, Jan.2014 | September 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 84) | AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman | The Case of the Corps Tea Party - File No. 09 Levi's Side (3/3) | sugar and milk in tea from the Japanese perspective
Levi, out of his original squad, found Petra cute/sweet in the general sense of the word "kawaii".
Like Levi's romantic type however, this was sort of a non-answer to the question (of whether Levi thought she was cute).
—2014 interview
After RtS, Levi seems to consider Hange and the 104th his family.
—AU Smartpass My First Time Around: Levi Ackerman
He wears a cravat because Isayama based part of his design off Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'.
He looks "delicate" because of his size and weight, but he's so powerful because [in issues before the reveal of the Ackerman bloodline] of "invisible power" at work.
—January 2016 issue of Bessatsu Magazine (chapter 76)
The best way to describe the way he thinks is to compare him to the main character from the movie The Hurt Locker (2008).
His character was born from Hiei from the manga 'Yuyu Hakusho', and Rorschach from the movie 'Watchmen'. The former was the basis for his appearance (especially his eyes), and the latter was the basis for his personality. Firstly though, Isayama had an image of a small man being the strongest.
—Hajime Isayama x Hikaru Suruga (2014) / Brutus Magazine (2014)
He is something of a protagonist (especially in s3p1).
— Animedia, June 2018
His favorite tool (in general...?) is microfiber cloths (for dust I guess. Levi has no need for weapons :3)
—July 2015 issue of Bessatsu Magazine
He will usually laugh/smile when he sees convenient cleaning goods (i.e., vacuum cleaners? feather dusters? ((cuz he's a shorty?❤️))
—Bessatsu Magazine, Dec. 2013
He does want to be taller sometimes.
He gets eager to clean up after meals rather than cook at all. He can cook, though.
—Bessatsu Magazine, Aug.2014 | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018
Levi mostly couldn't adapt to the changes that came about after the truth was discovered. Only he wears mostly the same uniform, cape, and blades.
After RtS, Levi personally retrieved Erwin's remains himself, for whom there was a special memorial service.
After Eren (inadvertently) called him a "tiny old man" in season 3, Levi didn't care, but when he thought of it by himself later, he was hurt (unclear exactly why).
Levi's father, most likely one of Kuchel's customers, is an insignificant man who's short. That's where Levi's height comes from. His face comes from his mother.
At the start of season 4, Levi didn't change much compared to the 104th because he's turning into an "old man" who'd rather stick with his flip phone so to speak.
He "doesn't break out into cold sweats". AKA he's always calm under pressure.
He considers prostitution to be an ordinary job because of his childhood.
Levi's vision is very sharp, way above average.
He thought Eren's new look beginning season 4 was unclean/dirty (in more ways than one perhaps).
—fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018
He has slight bouts of insomnia.
He never snaps/explodes when he's angry. But he does get angry or grumpy a lot, in general.
He doesn't sing. It's more likely he would dance.
If he was a fan of Momoiro Clover Z (jpop girl group), his favorite would be Momoka.
When/if he drinks, he has a high tolerance, but he can get a little drunk :)
One thing he highly hates and fears is mold.
He is the one who ordered Armin to dress as Historia during the uprising.
His blood type is A. Blood types are much like horoscopes in Japanese culture, and Levi's is as such: kichōmen, or well-organized; he likes keeping things neat, but can be stubborn and stressed out easily.
Whether he eats enough or has a good diet? He is "a bit lax".
Maybe he forgets to eat sometimes, or has a low appetite.
When Levi bathes, he goes for a quick shower then soak in hot water, which takes about ten minutes. Like a bird :'))
He on any given night gets about 2-3 hours of sleep.
He thought Eren was the best at cleaning (in season 3 / uprising arc).
Because of his childhood in the Underground, Levi has a preoccupation/obsession with cleaning (specifically to ward off disease).
He also doesn't have any pajamas, mostly keeping day clothes on when he goes to sleep - which is in "his" chair.
Levi cuts his own hair using clippers. (Something like:)
He's aware Oluo imitated him, and found it annoying.
Levi's horoscope (in general) as a Capricorn:
Humanity’s Strongest Soldier - Levi. He possesses warmth in the midst of a dispassionate nature, and he is capable of leadership without verbal expression – both of which are special qualities of a Capricorn. Capricorns tend to hold certain levels of authority, even if they must carry out somewhat unreasonable tactics while in such positions. But when such authority is backed up with actual abilities, a Capricorn can gain Levi’s type of confidence and also be put on a pedestal by those around them.
However, Capricorns won’t be dependent on others, much less trust them easily. They don’t hold high expectations and thus never feel a sense of failure.
Levi’s faults include the inability to express himself clearly. Even though he wants to encourage his companions, he always speaks in a roundabout way, and without Hanji’s translation it’s nearly impossible to understand Levi’s intended meaning.
Even though he is dependable in most situations, when it comes to love/romance, he expresses himself clumsily/awkwardly.
—FRaU Magazine, Aug.2014. | fan Q&A in Oyama, Oita, Mar.2018 | Levi: Close-up Report (Part One) | Translator
*the horoscope wasn't written by Isayama, but was published alongside canon information, and it's also not factually wrong, so I'm including it.
The dark circles under Levi’s eyes are to convey the “self-destruction” he takes on to reach the “standard” of Humanity’s Strongest.
—Interview on the topic of Levi, May 2015
His 'liege'—as Eren is to Mikasa, and Uri is to Kenny—is Erwin.
He is afraid of making deep relationships because of the cruel world he lives in; he can't know when someone he cares for will die or how soon.
That 'gap' left in Levi's heart by Kenny's death was filled by his squad (the 104th).
If Levi hadn't joined the Survey Corps, he would've been a "very irresponsible person". Risky with his life perhaps?
As a kid, Levi used to make himself stronger in order to receive praise from Kenny. When he abandoned him, he wondered what his strength was even for. He was able to find peace with Kenny after his death.
In CH72, the reason Levi kicked the shit out of Eren and Jean is because of his argument with Erwin earlier.
He knows he's a slave to his own strength, aka the idea of being a hero. He realizes it when Kenny asked what he's a slave to in s3/ch69.
—Answers Guidebook, Aug.2016
If he ever changed his appearance, the one thing Levi couldn't be able to give up is his undercut :') He would grow out the top and tie it up :3
—Oyama homecoming event Q&A in 2014 | 2 | 3
Levi knows how to use a gun, but he "places more trust" in knives.
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2019
Levi tolerates saunas. But instead of enjoying himself he seems to see it as a test of endurance. (LOL)
—Bessatsu Magazine, 2020
Levi has newspaper-level handwriting that he practices often. He's very conscious of it and being connected back to the Underground.
—AU Smartpass TEXT: Levi’s Signature
Isayama had considered killing Levi around the time of the thunderspear explosion. (As always) Isayama deliberated with his editors whether or not it'd be meaningful if he died, and they decided it wouldn't be.
—Kawakubo interview, 2021
Specially, Levi holds his swords in a reverse grip "his own way" since he wasn't officially trained.
—Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017
Levi forcefully bathes Hange by knocking them unconscious.
—AU Smartpass - Erwin & Levi Close Up Interview Part 1
Levi is 4 at the time that Kuchel dies.
—What the director informed Kamiya Hiroshi of on set
His character song is called "Dark Side of the Moon", found on YouTube here. Translated lyrics here.
how to draw Levi:
—AOT Guidebook; p.229 | +Illustrate Note Magazine, 2017
#please share... this took days of time and effort#levi aot#snk levi#snk levi ackerman#levi ackerman#levi attack on titan#captain levi#rivaille heichou#levi heichou#captain levi ackerman#levi rivaille#rivaille ackerman#aot manga#snk#levi art#levi shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#levi.thoughts
252 notes
·
View notes
Text
being playful with levi by stroking his cheek and musing on where he gets his good looks from
and he gnaws on his lip and kind of looks away before he admits that he looks just like his mom
but before that moment he’d never spoken a word of her to you
#oh god… feelings….#levi ackerman#levi aot#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman fluff#levi.thoughts
323 notes
·
View notes
Text
Levi-isms translated from his heart<3
//taller!Reader, Levi can pick reader up, hcs, canonverse, so fucking sweet
1: "Are you blind? I’m busy.”
You moan in sheer agony from the doorway, and put on your best puppy dog eyes.
He scowls at you, or he might be just that tired. His eyes are so heavy it’s hard to tell the difference.
"But it's so cold and lonely without you. I’m even colder right now, as you can see.”
You’re not wearing pants.
Make the issue about him, and how important it is that he rests, and you get a scowl. Make it about you, and he stands up with frankly a bratty sigh, and runs his hand through his hair.
You smile sweetly as he nears. On the way, he undoes the top button of his pressed white shirt, giving you a glimpse of his adam’s apple.
you lean forward and kiss his cheek. "Missed you…”
He looks up at you, eyes softening, and ruffles your hair a little. "Ugh... So annoying…"
You care enough about me to lose sleep... I could never ask for something that you freely give up, and it drives me crazy. How can one person have this power over me, anyway?
2: He's too angry to even pace around the hospital tent. This fire rampages in his veins with his blood as lit gasoline.
He can't remain calm with your fingers clutched in your lap, broken, reduced to a mound of bandages that seem to captivate you; you refuse to look at him.
He tells himself that it's not necessarily you he's angry at, that yelling won’t mend broken bones—but he can’t contain himself.
"What the hell were you thinking!?” he blurts out. “Throwing yourself into harm's way isn’t fighting—it’s suicide for self-righteous fools. What will we do now that you’re useless?"
Why?? Why is it easy even for you to be taken away from me whether you devote your whole heart or not?—and you do. So I need you to be more careful. I can't be there all the time. What will I do to keep you alive from here? You'll cooperate with me, won't you?
I can’t believe this… but I don’t want you to be devoted; I want you to be safe.
3: You finish explaining your plan with an uncertain smile sent his way.
To be fair, it's quite the tall order to sneak into Hange's lab, but he can't see any holes in it. As long as you get in quick, Levi can have it cleaned before supper.
"Not bad. It just might work. But don't let it get to your head."
You're smart. Thanks for the help. But it’s not like I like you or anything…
4: "No worries." You beam. "I'll have them swept up in no time—with Mike's help too, of course."
Even if he tried, he couldn't smile at your confidence. There's never telling what will happen when it's a fight against the Titans.
He looks ahead, squinting through the wind whipping at his bangs. You're both coming up on the south end of the forest again. It's packed with trees that'd be perfect for setting up camp, if only it wasn't infested with Titans. Four separate squads are pushing in from each direction, with Levi's squad at the north where Mike smelled the most action.
It's risky... no surprise there. He doesn't have overwhelming positivity, but what he does have—en masse—is faith in you.
"Alright... Use your best judgment in there. Don't die. If there's a sign of anything you can't handle, don't be stupid to take it all on your own. Just shoot up a flare and someone will be on their way."
I'm sending you on your own, so I know that you're strong. You can take care of yourself. But still. Be careful, I love you.
5: “Quit resisting.”
“What’re you doing, arresting me??” you cackle as Levi lifts you off your feet. He even pins you over his shoulder while you cry out in laughter. “Baby, it was just a little more work…”
"Nope.” With hardly a grunt, he swings the door open that feeds into the hallway and begins the march to your quarters. “If you keep this up, no amount of caffeine is going to save you. And I won't be there to baby you when you pass out and fall on your face. You're going. I'll pick up the slack."
I don't want you to work yourself down to the bone so much that you're forced to rely on me... So take care of yourself, I'll manage the rest.
Levi masterlist | main masterlist
#a small birthday offering :)#levi x reader#levi x you#levi x y/n#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#captain levi fanfiction#captain levi x reader#captain levi x you#levi ackerman drabble#levi headcanons#levi ackerman headcanons#levi hcs#aot hcs#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi.thoughts
315 notes
·
View notes
Text
levi going nonverbal when he’s stressed from a harsh disagreement you’re both forced to hash out. as even short looks get to cutting too deep, his abandonment issues get triggered. the worst part is that he doesn’t want to let it show, so he just stands there flinching and useless…
#levi hc#levi ackerman hc#levi x reader#levi ackerman headcanons#aot hc#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman angst#levi ackerman x reader#captain levi x reader#levi.thoughts
211 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love the grumpy shortcake to death but I actually HC that Levi is the worst kisser at the beginning of a relationship.
no because you’re completely right. at the beginning of the relationship honestly expect levi to be bad (but just too pathetically cute) at just about everything. he’s got the passion. he’s got the looks that he doesn’t think he has. but he’s just a BABY
literally flash him a cute little smile - especially when you’re alone - and he blushes.
levi taking holding hands way too seriously. finds himself practicing WITH HIS OWN HANDS how to correctly link your fingers (how much bigger or smaller is your hand than his? (he asks himself)) or stroke your thumb in just the right way. he hates himself for it but he just really doesn’t want to mess up with you. he thinks he needs to be good at something to be good enough and it kills you.
then the time comes and his hands get clammy from nerves. “disgusting” he says. poor levi
the first time you do kiss, he definitely asks to do it because of consent (he is traumatized). he asks to do anything the first time. “can i put my hand here?” and it’s not even your THIGH it’s your KNEE😭 he’s precious.
he would keep his eyes open like a freak at first, with your lips just barely making feather-light contact, because he wants to see. he wants to admire. levi is a careful person, an intense person, and a doting one. he cherishes your first kiss like it’s your last.
one could say it’s amateur to move his lips less and just press against yours, but he wants to savor the feeling, too. your softness, the indents from whether you have the tendency to bite your lip when you’re nervous, the shape of them. which side of your lips curl up first when you smile into it. brushing his thumb over the indent of your dimple (if you have any).
so that’s to say he’s barely kissing at all and feeling it out more than anything. he’s very bad at it. no subtext there at all /s.
it’s easy to mistake levi being flustered for levi being annoyed. he just gets crabby because he registers it as showing weakness. but you know how he feels.
puts off sleeping in the same bed for like. months. not out of lack of desire but he’s pretty much convinced he’ll be bad at it. he’s NERVOUS. what if nightmares? what if it’s hot, but you’re cuddling him and he doesn’t want to move away?
levi would watch you in your sleep. not in a perverted way. but, like that he’s free from the possibility of being embarrassed, caught admiring the details of your face that others would not think twice about. levi feels in poetry but speaks in crass one-liners and retorts. it’s true.
in reality, sleeping next to levi means being clung to by him at any given moment. except when you’re awake, because if he senses so much as a shift in your breathing, he’s awake first. however if you tend to cling too, then everyone is happy.
he sleeps restlessly, though. levi has never known a moment of peace in his life, sleep included. he’s eerily silent. like. corpse silent, but he squirms and wriggles a lot.
i’m sorry i couldn’t have gotten more off topic. YES YOU’RE RIGHT
#uhyeah#not sure if this needs a readmore#levi x reader#levi hcs#levi ackerman hcs#levi ackerman x you#captain levi x reader#captain levi x you#levi hc#levi ackerman hc#levi ackerman headcanons#levi ackerman x reader#levi.thoughts
483 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! i join the club of asks that say "you characterize Levi so good" because you truly do! thanks for sharing your thoughts in here.
speaking of which, in one of your posts about Levi being in love, you said that he would not confess first. so i was wondering, what do you think his reaction/response would be if his crush/the person he likes confessed first??
haha his reaction can be found in another set of headcanons i linked on that post, if it's the one i thinkkk you're talking about: this one.
when he realizes his feelings for you, he pulls away at first :( here's the relevant bit:
Levi takes several steps back before ever even thinking of taking the first step. a confrontation has to be instigated, in some way or another by you. whether he reaches a point of overwhelm where he physically can’t keep this to himself without knowing how much regret he’d feel if he went on like this, or straight up barging in on him, pleading with him to explain what you did to “upset” him that had him pull away from you.
Levi would try one last time to dismiss it, but he’s smart enough to know when he’s reached the end of the line iykwim. that it’s too late for him to feel anything but bone-crushing grief on top of regret if he loses you anytime soon—it doesn’t matter whether or not your feelings do come out. or the reality that he’s going to ruin your friendship very soon is he doesn’t explain himself.
as for just explaining, he’d trip over his words as he tries in his back-assward Levi way how he feels. it’s really unproductive, but at that point, you must know him well enough to read between the lines. at that point?? just (ask to) kiss him.
…but i’ll also add, Levi is standing like this as you confess (he’s falling head over heels for you in undying love):
if you however have that type of relationship that’s stretched on for years through thick and thin, high and low, where you’ve seen each other at your lowest and possibly most irredeemable, where existing in the same place feels as natural as waking up and like both your hearts are always beating as one, etc etc etc
it was honestly his understanding that you were past this point and assumed you weren’t into kissing and stuff. or maybe… you just didn’t want to kiss him.😔😔😔😔😔
he just has a massive ? over his head, then it’s like pulling a trigger, followed by you kissing to eternity :3 and pounding.
#levi x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi x you#levi x y/n#captain levi x reader#captain levi x you#levi ackerman hc#levi ackerman drabble#levi ackerman fluff#levi.thoughts
120 notes
·
View notes
Text
Levi has always seen food as a luxury, having spent at least 20 years of his life either starving or fighting every day not to.
so he's concerned with every morsel as small as a single grape. nothing goes to waste and everything is accounted for. so he certainly doesn't share his food. not with anyone.
except u<3
#:')#levi x reader#levi ackerman drabble#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman hc#levi ackerman headcanons#levi ackerman fluff#levi x you#levi ackerman x you#levi.thoughts
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
levi the type of man to do the BEST for you, the UTMOST. he gives you the 5 star restaurant and lakeside gazebo dressed in fairy lights treatment, all dressed to the nines, has for you your most favorite type of gift with the most specific specifications in the finest material on planet earth. which he awkwardly holds out to you without introduction.
and it’s like, a tuesday night
#he’s so extra#you have to ask him to not be extra or he’ll do the most#levi x reader#this is just my personal preference but if he gave me a loaf of sourdough bread then his dick is going in my mouth#levi ackerman x reader#levi.thoughts
123 notes
·
View notes
Text
fun reminder 🙂
canon Levi can’t even process how anyone could genuinely care about him beyond how useful he can be to them, let alone entertain the idea that his friends do, in fact, care about him and his well-being as a person.
so if he is not useful, he is a burden
260 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
calochortus
Solar Halfbreed
fiiresouled
SENSHI OF FIRE & PASSION
jaridblue-kingmallard
Jarid Blue [King Mallard]
vyva-melinkolya
vyva melinkolya
thebluehearted
Garden in the Sun