#i literally have a boyfriend that would’ve been very bad for me LOL
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aromantic culture is me forgetting which day valentine’s day is
#i literally have a boyfriend that would’ve been very bad for me LOL#aromantic#aro#arospec#aro culture is#aromantic culture#valentines day
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I desperately need to know ur opinion on Holly and Debbie/just Holly in general
LOL OK
so holly has always been a character that has stood out to me just because she wasn’t one of those random characters (like sandy or megan, for example) who a character has supposedly known for so long yet is never mentioned until then. she was mentioned in 1x02 and was apparently a girl in debbie’s class who had basically got it into her head that frank was dead (and clearly offered her no comfort). that doesn’t seem like a great friend, and we know based off of fiona’s reaction that she doesn’t really like holly. holly was apparently held back four times, but by season four they changed that and i think she’s either debbie’s age or a year older.
then in season two we actually meet holly and she’s played by dove cameron (iconic!! i liked danika yarosh as her better but stil), and she is clearly the bad influence i had envisioned her to be in season one. she agrees to go to debbie’s sleepover only if lip is there, and then tries to have sex with lip. of course, lip rejects her, and she runs out, absolutely heartbroken in typical mandy milkovich fashion. then we see her episodes later still trying with lip. season two holly is what i believe truly started debbie’s downfall. it really started around season one, and it was obvious around season three, but i think the “how do i look?” “like you’re going to be a virgin for the rest of your life” part really caused season four, five, and seven debbie to start. debbie’s biggest fear, especially in season two, is dying alone or just loneliness in general. she desperately wants to make herself prettier and more desired so that she will be loved and never lonely. sadly, it doesn’t work.
season four is when debbie went through dramatic changes and we see holly again. holly is someone debbie envies and looks up to. she and ellie, debbie’s other friend who is pregnant, help debbie because she wants to lose her virginity. they end up teaching her to lie about her age and then literally tell her that she likes a boy for her, like, she doesn’t say that she does they decide that she does (did somebody say comphet?). her friends don’t want what’s best for her, and when she gets a boy they want the boy, and when it ends up all being an elaborate joke to humiliate debbie, they aren’t there to comfort her.
by season five she and ellie stop liking her for no apparent reason, and holly is interested in carl. they’re fake bitches. then, the whole matty situation happens (which i talk about multiple times on my blog, fyi) and they ridicule her and debbie starts a fight. she loses, of course, because it’s four against one and she was yet to learn how to fight. the odd thing about this is that holly and ellie were the ones who made debbie go after matty and were the ones who taught debbie that it’s okay to do that to a guy. they get this shit in her brain and then leave her. and on top of that, they’re still talking to matty for some reason. debbie later beats up holly, and almost does it twice, and holly feels threatened and stays away. we see ellie again in season six, but never holly. i would’ve liked it if they had shown her again, but they didn’t.
i think that holly was debbie’s first crush. she was willing to do whatever holly said and found her so pretty. i know that it could just be friendship but knowing debbie and knowing what it’s like growing up lesbian it seemed like a crush. i think that she was definitely into holly, then mandy, then holly again, then svetlana, then idk, then alexandra, then kelly, then julia, then sandy. that’s how i view her love life. no matty or derek or neil, just those girls (however- i did find neil and debbie cute at times like in that bath scene even if it was bad and she was just using him, sue me).
i think that holly was probably a very hurt girl. we know that at one point her mom has a new creepy boyfriend, and by the way that sounds her mom moves from relationship to relationship often, which, speaking from expierence, fucks you up. something definitely happened to make her mature so quickly, just like what happened with debbie and karen. i don’t know what, but something bad. i found her character very interesting despite how little screentime she had.
#shameless#debbie gallagher#holly herkimier#ellie shameless#shameless us#matty baker#derek delgado#shameless meta#meta#shameless rant#fiona gallagher#comphet
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June 15 2022
lol I accidentally logged back into Tumblr and this is a total blast from the past. anyone remember me? I sometimes check on ao3 and read all the fresh comments just to get a boost of dopamine. it’s such a nice positive space, everyone is so nice to me and makes me feel very confident in my skills.
my last post was quite negative and from 2020. Two years later and I am verifiably killing it. I work a very glamorous job and absolutely love it, I’m finally making a consistent + good income, and my mind/body connection has literally never been healthier. like yeah, the usual disordered thoughts are still present but it’s pretty dull now. It’s lovely!! I’ve gotten into pilates and snowboarding and I love seeing myself get stronger and fueling myself in a healthier way. I’ve literally never looked better, either. crazy. being fit, eating well, sleeping enough - all much more attractive than binge/restrict cycles. Who would’ve thought? lol.
I have a different boyfriend now who is much much better. he drives me around our sunny city in his convertible and life feels very peaceful and easy. It’s hard to picture the version of me that was typing away at my little fanfiction story all those years ago, in the background of college stress and in the throes of a bad ED. That was... 4 years ago? wew. so much has changed.
anyway, not sure why I’m typing this up or WHO will even see this, but just in case anyone is lurking on my page after all this time - I am doing well! I’m so fine. life is incredible. and I still appreciate all the lovely comments you guys leave, sometimes so in-depth it’s crazy. I cherish every word. And I am on the cusp of writing my own book, been collecting thoughts and ideas for the past year or so... slowly trying to form it into some sort of plot. Your comments definitely give me inspiration and reassurance that I can do it.
So... yeah! that’s me! Feeling very good, very healthy. mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
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Gurl …… !
that was so gross and disrespectful on Atsumu’s part?? The way that he chooses to speak to y/n over what was clearly not meant to be a jab at him. if he’d used his brain for 2 seconds he would’ve figured out it was y/n’s insecurities coming out in the form of what was kind of a tasteless joke. Ahhh If i were her I wouldn’t have stuck around to witness the fuckery of someone so spiteful and immature. Also the way that he treats other women is such a red flag wtf! Just because the other women aren’t the one you have a crush on doesn’t mean you can treat them like disposable tissues omgg. The fact that all it takes is a misunderstanding and he’s ready and willing to use a woman as a prop to make another woman upset says a lot about him! And to do it during intimacy when women generally feel more vulnerable!!! I doubt the girl he brought back gave consent to be listened in on and used as a revenge tactic!! Who knows maybe she would’ve been chill with it if he’d asked but judging by her reaction he evidently didn’t so we’ll never know hahahahahah
And like yea sure y/n technically shouldn’t be upset because they aren’t TECHNICALLY boyfriend and girlfriend but.. why would you wanna be with someone who justifies their shitty behaviour on a technicality lol
I was all for mr tsumu but now I’m looking at the way that maki reacts when he’s jealous and the way Atsumu reacts and it’s clear who is the more mature man!! Oof. I’m scared of what Oikawa and the guys are gonna do when they find out how much of an asshole Atsumu is!!
Once again, thank you for the brilliant chapter! This one got me riled up and I’ll be waiting in anticipation for next week!!
SEE OKAY. this, in comparison to the ask RIGHT BEFORE? incredible. i absolutely love the different thoughts and perspectives and how people FEEL ABOUT THE END OF THE CHAPTER UGH.
(bunch more thoughts under the cut, but like... it's so long i made it a read more LMAO)
the thought of yn staying around (which i mentioned in a previous ask) because i thought abt yn leaving and going to maki's or calling maki or something was literally just yn stuck in processing feelings, almost shock and disbelief causing her to see if she really has a need to process really difficult feelings
I'VE ALSO kinda thought a lot about like oh is he just using all of these people to have sex w and the answer is like yea ok sure yes, but also, that's kinda just sex culture. truthfully, i wrote him having a lot of sex as like not really a bad thing? him having a lot of sex with people who kinda just want the same thing as him, just yknow, sex no feelings, isn't uncommon and i don't think makes him an asshole. doubly because i don't write anything about him talking shit about the people he has sex with or looking down on them for doing what he does because he doesn't or like leading them on or anything? he's really straight forward with these things. which i've kinda written about in little bits?
HOWEVER yea no the other points you made are super valid. i'm not trying to excuse this time (the end of ch6) because no, yeah, uncalled for and absolutely gross and very bad, BUT YEA. kinda background on how i felt about other stuff with it :)
i do think that the whole "it's just a technicality" thing goes a bit deeper than that. like it is just a technicality sure yes, but it goes both ways. she clearly doesn't want to be something more with him despite the times that he's tried to push it into that? but she still flirts with him and acts like a couple with him so it's a weird line to thread. AND can we also just all remember that she literally almost had sex with maki, ABSOLUTELY WOULDVE just a few short weeks ago. just a thOGUHT. ( but yea no maki's mvp always has been love that guy )
and YKNOW i did say that the angst was coming I WARNED EVERYONE ABOUT THIS hehe. excited to hear your thoughts about how everything wraps up !!!
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i watched smile and wrote down my live reaction if anyone cares lol. long story short it was better than i thought it would be, the death/spooky effects were fun but it was kinda heavy handed with the mental health commentary
i went into this thinking it would be funny bad but. goddammit. ok i liked the opening.
the fucking back and forth shots of the main lady and the college girl’s faces, it set me up!!
then when it showed college girl had gotten up. idk man something about how empty and sterile the office is wigged me out even more.
and her cutting her neck was neato
at the title card now and alright goddamn it didn’t have to flash like that yeesh
oh also it sounds like this is just gonna be it follows but with suicide instead of sex
lord they’re trying to do mental health commentary. great.
ugh if i end up liking this movie i’m gonna be embarrassed
that cat’s dead. and nooo i don’t know that because i checked doesthedogdie.com
i was hoping the cat would smile lmao
WAIT THE BOYFRIEND
WHO IS HE
SLKJFLKSDF IT’S A-TRAIN
i’ve decided this takes place in The Boys universe
sorry i got so distracted by a-train that i forgot to say that main lady seeing the dead girl in the dimly lit kitchen did freak me out.
we’re back to the mental health commentary.
why does the cat have such a big fucking bowl
Young cop(?) dude gives me the creeps.
Haha sassy black coworker!! very funny and cool el oh el
ooooo i liked her passing the rooms and having to backtrack
bro is vibing stop snapping
im so sorry but this carl actor has a really silly voice
i feel like this boss also looks familiar
oh he was in designated survivor ok
actually i’ve been kinda constipated so maybe if i watch this on the toilet i’ll shit myself and finally be free
jesus this lady just can’t stop breaking glasses
none of this would’ve happened if you just KEPT YOUR HOUSE WELL LIT
WAIT STOP EVERYTHING
YOUNG COP CREEP IS THE EMO GUY FROM JENNIFER’S BODY
wow what a cast
i sorta missed the whole bit where she listened to the recording and heard stuff, i was unclogging my toilet
main lady and blonde bitch are sisters?? wow that went straight over my head until now. i knew they had to be related in some way? but i kinda thought the husband and the main lady were siblings
dead cat moment
love that they felt the need to clarify it was her cat lmao
when the boy picked it up it looked like really bad cgi
DAMN
TABLE SLAM KO
yeah babe sometimes you just gotta yell it out
SLKDFJLS THE PAIN ASSESSMENT CHART
im sorry… mental health preachy message aside, are you telling me the fiance had to look up the fact that mental illness can be hereditary??
for some reason i feel like the main character’s spiral happened way too fast
but to be fair i guess she does have that trauma with her mom, so maybe even though she works in healthcare she’d still be more susceptible to this line of thinking?
the number of times they say “crazy” in this movie is getting ridiculous
love a good smashed in head, i appreciate they didn’t add a loud noise with it considering the amount of jumpscares in this fucking thing
thank god horrible events always happen to artists so we can have ooky spooky drawings
these “coincidences” are so obviously connected it’s ludicrous that literally nobody noticed until now
I mean cops being inept is nothing new i guess
main character is being? unbelievably unreasonable here?? yes, calling a mental health professional is what you’re SUPPOSED to do when someone around you starts acting like this
i thought one of the whole points of this smile demon thing was that it could look like anyone? they haven’t really been utilizing that as much as i assumed they would which is a bummer
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
loved that moment with the sister at the car
it is kinda neat that the death has to be super dramatic so it inflicts as much trauma as possible
but also couldn’t you just do something traumatic that doesn’t involve murder or suicide?
like pretend you murdered someone or killed yourself in a crazy violent way in front of someone so they believe it happened, orchestrate a big practical joke
the demon voice is goofy
putting a knife that big up your sleeve seems like an atrocious idea
LMAO AWESOME DREAM
it’s like in chainsaw man. the whole door thing with denji. i’m not elaborating bc i don’t wanna spoil anyone.
the mom is kinda hot
lol i like how slowly rose closed the door
ooooooo!!!! suddenly tall mom!!!
i’m a tad disappointed with the monster design :/
HELL YEAH you thought a house fire could kill a demon?? lmaoooo
I TAKE IT BACK THE MONSTER DESIGN LOOKS RAD
rose the throat goat
hell yeah love a good person burning
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I made a mistake of looking at a particular leaker's curiouscat account (who I feel like lowkey isn’t a huge fan of Will) and read a couple of asks and I quickly was like no I can’t do this anymore hahaha. One of the asks was: ‘I’m so confused by this narrative that Will Byers is the most traumatized of the entire show, everyone saying he HAS to be vecna’d because “no one has gone through more than him”—ummm what!? 🥴
I’m sorry, I like Will, but he has not been through more than anyone else, they have ALL been through trauma, and yes what he went through was horrific, but NO ONE in this show has seen as much trauma, seen as much death and carnage, or lost as much as mike, el, and Nancy, Will isn’t special just because he was the first one in the UD and his trauma is not more important than everyone else’s’
Like okay so they say that it’s unfair to say he’s gone through more trauma but then says that Mike, Nancy and El have gone through more and lost more lol. Firstly his trauma isn’t to do with him being the first one in the UD, he was literally possessed in the second season which led to lots of blood and carnage. And sorry, I love Nancy and Mike but what Will went through in season 1 would’ve been absolute hell - he was a twelve year old boy alone and cold and scared for a week, to say that Nancy and Mike have been through more seems unfair. And to say that no one has lost as much as them… like I’m sorry, that’s unfair especially regarding Mike bc even though I love him there really isn’t any evidence to prove that he has lost more than Will or characters like Hopper. And the leakers response didn't exactly disagree with them and idk that annoyed me you don't need to be a huge fan of will to know that he is very traumatised and more so traumatised than some of the other characters.
I think I know which leaker you're talking about 😵💫 imo, she's not trustworthy at all and has been proven to be full of lies. But you're right, that person's ask contradicts itself. First they say that Will is the most traumatized, but that doesn't mean that he has to get vecna'd. That's fair--I don't think it's 100% certain Will will be vecna'd, thought I do think it's highly likely based on the narrative so far. But then secondly they say that Mike, Nancy, and El are more traumatized than Will?? Hmm.
I think that while trauma affects every person differently, we can't just count up the amount of times a character has been through it in the show to conclude who's the most traumatized. However, if we follow the show's narrative, Will and El have been through the most. Firstly with Will, he's been: kidnapped by an interdimensional being, trapped in a hell dimension for a week, nearly killed by said dimension, possessed by the mindflayer, forced to trick the lab "soldiers" into their death, raised by an abusive father, bullied his whole life, and ignored by the most important people in his life for the better part of a year. El's trauma is just as bad though. She was: stolen at birth, raised by an abusive parental figure her entire life in a laboratory, constantly experimented on, abused, forced to kill people to survive, trapped in the upside down and had to live in the woods for months alone, ripped away from her father figure when he died/disappeared, forced to move away from the only friends she'd ever had, and unable to hear her boyfriend tell her that he loves her, even when she's sobbing and begging him to say it.
To say Mike and Nancy have had it worse than both Will and El is a complete lie. They were raised in a nice home with plenty of money, and even though their father is quite absent, it's clear Karen tries her best. Yes, Mike had to deal with both El and Will going missing (and Will being possessed), and Nancy had to deal with her guilt over Barb's death, but based on the narrative, this doesn't come close to El and Will. At least from my pov haha 🧍🏼♂️
Anyways, it's clear all the characters have lots of trauma, but the story has shown us which specific characters are affected more and have to deal with these type of situations more often.
#hopefully this answered your question 👀 i had to think a lot about this one for some reason lol#ask sarah#anon tag#will byers#el hopper
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Omg thank you so much for answering! I could talk about ttds for hours. It literally became one of my favorite fics I've EVER read. I also agree with what you said about Steve being a flirt because it's just how he is and it's part of his very charming personality. But I'd like to think he never went past that, like as I was reading I'm like there's no way he even kissed someone else... In my mind he came up with that arrangement because at the time that was the only way to be close to her but for him it always felt like a relationship. You know one thing that crushed me because you just wrote it so perfectly, I think it's in chapter 3 when she comes back home and they're at the Christmas party and she tells him she's actually seeing someone... Almost like she was expecting him to be seeing someone, too... But he wasn't and then he tells her that he was looking forward to, you know, getting some action since she was back (which it was never just about sleeping together at least for Steve, if that makes sense) and then he goes ahead and tells her that he's happy for her and even asks for the guy's name. My god!!! Probably one of my favorite parts. I'm a sucker for angst when you know there's gonna be an happy ending. Also, I would love to know more about some exchanges between Steve and Robin, for example when he realized she wasn't gonna be home for the summer. I know you wrote a little bit of that but I can't help it lol! It's just so good. And also, one last thing since I feel like I'm talking too much, I think after the diner Steve already knew he wanted to go back to her house and I imagine him pacing back and forth in his room until he can't take it anymore and decide to get it together finally and around 10pm gets in his car and when he turns around to back up his car he sees her scarf in the back seat and he's all relieved and also feels a little dumb because he had a perfectly good excuse to go to hers there the whole time lol. Oh well, I'm sorry if this was too much but I enjoy talking about ittttttttt
Hi again, anon! Don’t worry, I love knowing that you’re thinking about TTDS and have questions!!! I guess here’s some of my comments:
1) Yeah, I think if this fic had been from Steve’s POV, it would’ve just been him pining and being unbelievably down bad for the reader, like, constantly. I think he’d hype himself up towards moving on by flirting with other girls, but then chicken out if they actually showed interest because it would just feel wrong to him. I just love soft & whipped Steve lol
2) Part 3 was cruel of me, I know that - it was so full of angst that I was feeling things just writing it. I probably wrote and rewrote the reader-getting-a-boyfriend plotline a few times, just because I didn’t know how detailed to get with it or how to deal with Steve. But I think this version of Steve (and probably canon Steve too, to an extent) would always be happy for the reader, even if the idea of seeing her with someone else absolutely kills him. But I’m glad that scene ended up working and resonating with you!
3) Steve and Robin - gosh, I can talk about Stobin all day. I’m working on a fic right now that’s just about their friendship, because I simply adore them. I thought what was interesting in this particular fic is that even though Robin is close with Steve and the reader, she’s relatively in the dark about their situationship as it’s happening. But, I think Robin’s teased Steve on a thousand occasions about how he’s in love with the reader and should ask her out, but he just deflects every time. When she told him that the reader wasn’t coming back, I imagine Steve probably was devastated and figured that sealed the deal, and they’d never come back from that fight they had. At the same time, though, there was probably a degree of relief, because it hurt too much to think about you, let alone see you. I imagine he tried to cover it up, and act nonchalant, but Robin could tell something was up. Somewhere in the gap there he at least told her that you two weren’t speaking, but she didn’t know why :(
4) I like you’re thinking on the scarf thing! In my mind, this is what happened: Steve actually saw the scarf as soon as he got home, and debated driving to your house then and there - but he figured it was dumb, and snow was coming, and he was going to see you at his parents’ party in a few days anyway, so he just took it inside and hung it on his chair or something. But maybe he found himself sitting in his bed for a while, looking at it, pacing, and playing his day with you over and over in his head - the apologies, the confessions, the almost-kiss in the car. Then before he knew it, he was grabbing the scarf and getting back in his car, reasoning ‘well, it’s gonna snow, it’s cold out, she probably needs it back - I may as well just bring it back to her -‘. And he’s 100% rationalizing to himself that it’s just about your scarf, and nothing else. Still, he feels like an idiot on your doorstep, and considers running away, but then he sees you, and it’s basically over for him from there.
Sorry that this answer was super long-winded, but I loved hearing your thoughts on the fic. I definitely think a lot about what we don’t see as much as what we do see, since a lot of things happen with characters outside of the reader’s POV.
If you or anyone else have comments/questions about TTDS, or my new fic, don’t call me ‘baby’, my inbox is open!
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you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...
who doesn’t want to be happy?
(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)
ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.
this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.
(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting)
i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol.
so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?
i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?
and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not!
now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well.
and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment!
i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy.
now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms. you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that.
enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)
(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)
i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing.
once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little.
don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.
remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad.
your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy.
i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk?
and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it!
guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.
and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it).
let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!!
so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?
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tokrev characters when you did the “i told you to look good today” prank to them
lol this trend is quite old but its been on my mind lately but yall can request sum goods to me😁👍
tw: heavy swear words and grammar errors
characters: draken, mikey, mitsuya, baji, chifuyu, hakkai, takemichi.
gn reader
DRAKEN
the moment those words came out of your mouth he just stared at you
while you’re smiling idiot
he will literally just stare at you
“yea same to you” showing a annoying smile
he get the situation, HE KNOWS HE LOOK GOOD SO THIS AINT GNNA WORK
you guys just laugh it off, you didn’t even told him that it was just a prank because he already knew it but will still ask you in the middle of your date
“hey is my style in clothes really aint that good? were you serious? i mean its not that bad…..” he said while looking himself up through his phone camera
“nope, i thought you get the joke but oh well……ken, you look so good everytime yk even if u wear nothing u still can pull it off” you told him and smack his bald head playfully
“yea yeaa i would’ve gone feral if u went and bash my hair instead of my clothes so thats a relief” he respond with a smile
“ken why this hair-”
“aight im leaving”
“no hakahajwlwbsha”
took the joke very well
MIKEY
he spent hours looking for good clothes for this date, there’s clothes everywhere in his room and still “damn…..there’s nothing to wear”
AND WHEN U TOLD HIM THOSE WORDS???
he just pout, told you that he’s sorry, and he spent hours looking for something to wear to match your style and many more reasons
pls apologize to him
but when you told him that its a prank he just pout and said “not a good joke y/n i know you were lying because i really look good, i knew its was a prank”
just agree with him lol
will think of pranks that he could do to you for revenge, literally stressing about it while on the date with you
he wants to say the same thing to you but he can’t because you look beautiful today, just for him, and will smile just looking at you
while walking to the park he will even ask himself “does my style really match them?” “should i be the one to adjust and put my taste on clothes higher?” “i should ask mitsuya about fashion things” his mind is just filled with questions
“mikeyyyyyyy, you look good today i was just doing a silly prank im sorry if that made you feel bad, not gonna lie you’re drippy as fuck”
“i know i know im gonna prank you next time real hard” he said “if i catch you we’re gnna switch wardrobes” he said as he started to chase you around the park
in the end he came over to your place and explore your wardrobe and tried your clothes, he even stole some of your hoodies and shirts.
MITSUYA
overthinks
this mf thinks he looks good no matter what
duh he’s a designer
“well y/n i think you’re right, and i should style you sometimes dont you think?”
your hand went to your mouth so fast
he laughed at your reaction and hug you
“just kidding you look good, we look good i know that trend damn thats old” he said
you smack him playfully for that, his reaction is normal but because of that he wants to be more stylish
he can take a joke yk
after a lot of overthinking he suggests to shopping with you
even though he have some knowledge about designing and how to look good he thinks your taste in clothes is so good
will think that he’s right for you and you’re right for him
he’s your 4lyferss😩
BAJI
he will give you that “excuse me” face with a hand oh his chest because he’s offended as fuck.
“babe stop fooling people, and yourself we both know i look good”
“you dare to bash my drip hell no baby”
will brag his clothes for like 15 minutes just to prove what you’re saying is wrong
“this shirt i brought this online with a nice fabric its not cheap mf”
“my pants, you see this huh? see those sutffs on tiktoks where they style their own pants i did this shit its so cool”
“now now, baby see this shoes? oh dont even get me started but hey you look nice today hehe can i take you on our date now?”
he went from being defensive and screaming proving his shit right to his signature smile
by just that he already made your day, you really cant out keisuke baji
because he is baji, he will look good for you, and you look good for him, he will joke you around, tease you a lot, you will also do the same to him.
100% can take a fucking joke. and it will be like a competition to him.
CHIFUYU
confused baby
im sure you feel a lot of guilt rn
because baby panicked
will suggest to go back to his house and change his clothes if you want
pls apologize 😭
almost cried because he thinks he’s a bad boyfriend again lol
will spat a lot if reason like, he’s in hurry, he’s been overthinking this date since last night.
but boy he look good actually he has drip
“nononono baby, you look good i just saw the thing on tiktok so i thought it will be funny but damn im sorry i-” you didn’t even finish when he laughed
“ohhhhhh yeaaaa that trend fuck, how could i forget, nice one you got me there god dammit ill take revenge sometimes” he said laughing slightly
well he’s always on tiktok, have some few vid too, actually some went viral bc of takemichi being dumb
just like mitsuya too, will suggest to just go shopping with him and tell him what kind of clothes that you’re interested in
would love to buy your clothes for you but he’s just a broke middle schooler but he promised you that both of you will shopping someday
he took that prank seriously but when he knew that it was a joke its fine
life goes on for him
HAKKAI
oh my god please y/n why
you always complement his style because its true he has some style
after you told him that he will just scratch the back of his neck and said
“my other clothes are still wet haha…..i mean i dont look bad i mean……”
apologize, drop on your knees and do it.
nah jk
u gave in a small laugh and said sorry to him
he know about this trend actually but he never actually expect you to have the guts to do that to him
he knew about his shy personality and he knew that you know about this
he’s not offended just taken by surprise that you actually did that to him
“well anyways i dont care about me you look good today y/n”
you immediately regret saying those stuffs to him bc he’s sweet hot and respectful
but its a joke anyways he enjoyed the silly joke
he knew he look good lmao
yuzuha will be hearing this
she will prolly scold you for doing that
are you gnna repeat the silly prank again?
TAKEMICHI
💀💀💀💀💀
he will run
run back to his home attack his wardrobe and find a good clothes
ofc you feel bad so you followed him
you saw him looking for a new clothes to wear
you told him its a prank but he still didn’t want to go out looking like that
so you just decided to style him yourself
he thinks you’re right
he looks bad, his style is not it
but overall happy for pranking him and making him realize that he need to be as your same style
“takemichi, look i dont care…..whoever told you that you look bad i will kick their face, to me what ever you wear your fun personality and the reason that i fell inlove with you wont disappear” you put a hand on the top of his head and he just
cried.
“im sowwyyy- i- i cant look good- fuck ughhghuh- please dont leave me i-” he’s crying mess on your chest
“STOP CRYING DAMMIT YOU ALWAYS LOOK GOOD,”
you will never prank him again
no pls dont do it again
#tokyo revengers#draken#mikey#mitsuya#hakkai#chifuyu headcanons#takemichi#baji#tokyo revengers x reader#lol imma edit this when i feel like it#this trend is rotten but i cant stop thinking about it#baji’s reaction is funnier in my mind akowhdkan
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Tiger Lily
Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader
Genre: Fluff, slight angst, smut, established relationship, College!AU
Word Count: 11.3k
Summary: After finding out your boyfriend was the one to secretly leave flowers in your seat every week back in high school, you have many questions he’s willing to answer. And after finding out the reason the two of you had not gotten together back then was because of your ex best friend, the two of you decided that, first, you were never letting anyone else get in between you, and, second, you were making the most out of your time together from now on.
—Alternarively, the one in which you and your boyfriend finally get your place all to your own and he decides he’s not letting his nonexistent sexual experience stop him from having his way with you anymore.
Warnings: Virgin!JK (a.k.a. male virginity loss), fingering, cunnilingus, handjob (kinda), penetrative sex, protected sex, very slight (male) overstimulation, shy and confident guk keep switching places (when do they not), just very lovey dovey, very intimate.
A/N: Helloo, this is part 33 of my Social Media AU Tiger Flower, but you can still read it if you don’t follow the story. I’m actually shocked by how long this turned out to be but wbk I’m soft as hell for this couple 🥺 so please give it lots of love because I put a lot of effort in this ksñaks. I hope you guys enjoy! Oh, and also, I’m bolding the first and last sentence of the smut part, so if you don’t wanna read it just skip what’s in between the bolded words lol.
“I’ll get it” Yoongi announced when someone called on the door, leaving you and Jimin alone on the sofa as he rushed up to get it.
As soon as he opened it and Jeongguk stepped inside your shared place, bowing politely to your friends before his stare fell on you, you felt your heart race. Saying nothing, you gave him a closed mouth smile, having him do the same at the sight of yours. Although it hadn’t been longer than a week, it had been the longest you had gone without seeing each other ever since you became friends, and, even though you weren’t really showing it right then —as for some reason you were nervous as hell to see each other again—, it was unbelievable how happy you were at the mere sight of one another.
“We were just leaving” Yoongi informed, catching up on what was going on. After all, you had told both him and Jimin that your boyfriend would be coming over to talk things out.
“We were?” Jimin asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I just got home”.
“Let’s give them some privacy” he tilted his head towards the opened door so Jimin would tag along.
“I can go to my room for that”.
“Yah! We all know your nosy ass will eavesdrop everything that way” Yoongi called him out, and you didn’t miss the way Jeongguk had to lower his head not to show his amused smile, being already used to your roommates’ endless bickering antics by now. “Come on, let’s go see Jin hyung at his pub”.
Simple as that, Jimin left your side in a heartbeat to go to the door. “Well, I won’t say no to drinking” he admitted, stopping right in front of Jeongguk and pointing an accusing finger at him. “Take care of my baby”.
“My baby” Guk corrected him, mumbling his words low enough for you not to hear.
Although, unlike you, Jimin did hear —for that had been your boyfriend’s intention—, he said nothing, instead glaring at him the way he always did whenever that discussion over you took place at least twice a week, and walking out of the apartment for once and for all. Yoongi, on the other hand, gave the two of you a small thumbs up before following behind his friend.
And just like that, with the sound of the door closing, silence was quick to take over the room.
This was probably the first time ever since you met that neither of you knew what to say. Fuck, this was probably the first time in your life you didn’t know how to start a conversation. And it wasn’t like you could go over there and kiss him like you were dying to, could you? You had not completely made up yet. That’s what he was here for after all. To talk, not to make out. Although you weren’t really against that idea, and he most definitely was not either — the way his eyes fixed on your lips even all the way over from the door was enough to tell you so.
It had been a good couple of days since you had last seen each other after all.
“You, uh…” your voice came out quite unsteady as you stood up, fixing the plain t-shirt and cotton pyjama pants you were wearing. “Are you hungry?” you asked, walking towards the kitchen and having him quietly follow right behind as you entered it. “Wanna eat something? Drink something?”
He shook his head no when you turned around to look at him, resting your hands on the counter as you leaned against it. “Just wanna clear up your questions”.
You nodded, for that was what he was here for after all, to clear everything up so the two of you could go back to normal. So you could go back to being the happy couple you both loved so much.
“So what are they?” he pushed it when you stood there with no signs of wanting to speak any time soon.
“I just…” you shrugged, making yourself comfortable by sitting at the edge of the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were the one sending me flowers back then?”
He pouted in confusion as he came closer to you. “When?”
“When we were friends…”
“It would’ve been out of place back then, petal” he explained. “We were just friends and you were into someone else. It would’ve been awkward for us and I really didn’t wanna lose you as my friend” his voice couldn’t help but come out rather bitterly at that, remembering all the thoughts that had invaded his mind when he first saw his chance to let you know it had been him all along, all the thoughts that kept him back from telling you.
“And when we started dating?” you tilted your head. “You had so many chances to tell me, Guk…”
“When we started dating I just didn’t think it mattered anymore” he confessed, unconsciously resting his hands on your knees. “I had you, I really didn’t care about it anymore”.
“You could’ve still told me…”
“And how was I supposed to bring it up? It’s not something I can just say out of nowhere” he pointed out, having you nodding understandingly. “And what was I supposed to say anyway? Hey there, I’m your flower boy?”
A light laugh escaped his mouth when you playfully shoved him away at his words, mocking what you had once told him was the confession you had been expecting from your secret admirer. Holding your hands, he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, and hence, closer to him. Taking advantage of that, you intertwined your fingers, enjoying the familiar warmth of his hands as you admired the way he softly swayed them together.
“This is so surreal” you sighed.
“In a good or a bad way?”
You shook your head, not being able to give him a proper answer. “I just… I always wanted it to be you so bad, and for a good while I was sure it was you, but it made sense that you were into Sooyeon instead”.
Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, the mere thought of ever feeling something for her making him want to gawk. “How could that have ever made sense?”
“She was more like you” you pointed out, rushing to make your point before he could snap at you for comparing the two of them. “Like, yes, she was popular and had lots of friends, but she was the most quiet out of all of us. Believe it or not, she was really shy back then, an—”
“And why would I have wanted more of the same?”
“Huh?” you were taken aback by his question.
“You’re saying she was like me, then I don’t understand why would I have wanted to be with her” he said as if it was obvious. “If I barely ever speak and so did she… I mean, how would that have even worked out?”
You shrugged, not being able to help the small smile that had started curving up your lips. “Is that why you fall for loud asses like me? So someone else will make up for your lack of talking?”
He chuckled at the teasing tone in your voice, allowing his hands to travel up to your thighs and tenderly drawing circles on them with his thumbs. “Not really” your eyebrows knitted together at his words. “There were a lot of loud girls who would not shut up to save their lives in our class and I didn’t really like them. If anything, they annoyed the hell out of me”.
“Why’d you even want to be with me then?” you wondered, being genuinely curious as to what about your loud, chatty antics, made you different to the rest of your loud classmates.
“You really don’t know why I’ve always liked you?”
You shook your head no. “Why is it?”
Taking in a deep breath, he took a step back so he could collect his thoughts before answering your question. “I don’t think you even remember when I just transferred to our high school in the second year, let alone my first day there. Mrs. Kang made me sit on the empty table next to yours and then proceeded to pass around a surprise test, and me being me, of course I forgot my pencil case at home that day,” he huffed, causing you to chuckle under your breath. “So I just sat there internally freaking out because I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for a pen, like I couldn’t move and my voice literally wouldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried” a breathy laugh abandoned his lips. “And I was accepting the idea of turning in a blank paper when suddenly a pen was placed on my table. So my eyes followed your hand back to your table and there you were with your eyes stuck to the test, solving the math problems like you had not just saved me from failing on my very first day as the new kid,” you laughed at his dramatism, however, you managed to remember about that moment. “And then as soon as the class ended you were surrounded by people and you were all talking nonstop and I didn’t know how to give you your pen back, so I tried to slide it into your table but you caught me and told me I could keep it, that it was a ‘welcome present’, and then you smiled at me and honestly that was it for me, Y/N”.
“It was?” you wondered in awe, eyes shining when he nodded.
“I didn’t like loud and popular people up until then, which is kinda weird considering Tae’s my best friend” a throaty laugh escaped your lips at his remark. “But although you were those things, you always got me. You just… understood, in a way. Like, you didn’t pressure me to talk or made me feel bad for not doing so, like the rest of the popular kids did. If anything, you would try to make me feel like I wasn’t all on my own whilst leaving me alone like I wanted” he tilted his head, wondering if what he just said had made any sense, knowing you understood his point when you smiled ever so sweetly. “Like when you added me to your group project one time and let me send my part instead of having to go hang out with you and your friends for an entire afternoon, or when you would invite me to your birthdays along with the rest of the class and then proceeded to tell me not to feel pressured to go if I didn’t feel like it. And even now, ever since the beginning you made me feel good about not really being into partying and barely ever talking”.
“You’ve been more talkative with me lately, though” you pointed out as you mindlessly played with the hair at the back of his head. “Although this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk”.
He chuckled, playfully pinching your thighs. “Don’t get used to it”.
“I won’t, I won’t” you chuckled, planting a chaste kiss to his chest. “Anyway, you said I get you but I didn’t let you do your part of the project on your own this year, though” you reminded him with a feigned pout that he couldn’t help but find the cutest. “And I force you to spend time with me pretty much everyday now. Will you forgive me?”
Jeongguk let out a throaty laugh, leaning in just enough for his lips to press to your cheek. “I got to date you now thanks to that, so you’re forgiven” he planted another kiss to the curved up corner of your smiling mouth. “And funny how you think you’re forcing me when half the time it’s me asking to hang out”.
You giggled. “We love a 50/50 relationship”.
Tilting your head ever so slightly to take a better look at him after hearing him chuckle, you were greatly surprised by his lips pressing down on yours.
Although you had jokingly said that last sentence, it was not far from the truth at all. It wasn’t just you chasing after him and wanting to be with him all the time, but him wanting the exact same all the same. So you could tell by the way he was kissing you right then. It was slow, painfully slow, yet the way his hands were firmly cupping your face to keep you from moving away as he deepened the kiss, could not fail to tell you just how much he had missed you, needed you, those past few days you were apart.
Pressing one small peck to his mouth, you tugged at the fabric of his sweatshirt to pull him closer to your body, later wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and resting your face on his chest — a content sigh escaping your mouth when his arms did the same with you and his lips kissed the crown of your head.
“It really never would’ve crossed my mind that you liked me way before the whole flowers thing...”
“Not even when that one summer we would keep running into each other at the park and you would catch me staring from time to time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
The heat didn’t wait to reach your cheeks at that. You remembered that very well, for it was the summer you caught feelings for him as well, the one right before you entered your last year of high school. You would go out for walks on your own just for the sake of doing something other than staying in texting your friends all day long, and would run into him most of the time while he walked his dog, the one you now knew was named Gold.
Although you had talked in class more than once —or well, you had talked to him more than once—, you were not friends, and hence, neither of you got the guts to come close to one another to try and start small talk. However, that didn’t stop either of you from staring at each other when you were not looking. Sometimes you would catch each other staring, though, and you couldn’t stop an amused smile from curving up your lips when you remembered one particular time he had choked on air when you smiled at him after catching his eyes being fixed on you, just like he had choked earlier this year when you had asked him if you could sit next to him in class. It seemed to be a habit of his by now, at least when it came to you.
“I thought you were just judging me over the way I was always sniffing the flowers and taking pictures of them…” you admitted, for although a part of you did want to believe he was into you back then, you couldn’t really bring yourself to fully believe it.
He pulled you back by your shoulders so he could give you a questioning look. “Judging you with heart eyes?”
“Yah!” you called him out, feeling your cheeks burn.
Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I really just couldn’t take my eyes away from you, you looked so hypnotized by them and it was the cutest to me”.
“Is that why you thought about secretly giving me flowers?” you couldn’t help but ask.
He nodded, lowering his head. “I know it would’ve been easier to just talk to you, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. Fuck, I even was a nervous wreck this year when you first talked to me,” a breathy laugh escaped his mouth. “So I just… thought I could do that for a while until I got the guts to confess. Although I guess a part of me really wanted you to find out, because whilst looking for different kinds flowers I came across tiger lilies and, apart from finding out they were my birth flower, their meaning just fit so well with what I wanted to do and I just—”
“What do they mean?” you asked.
“It’s cheesy” he let you know with pleading eyes, silently asking you not to make him say it out loud. “Like, really cheesy”.
“Come on,” you begged with pouty lips, getting a hold of his hands. “I’ll look it up on the internet either way if you don’t tell me”.
He shook his head in both amusement and embarrassment altogether, knowing well enough you would do just that if he did not comply right then. So, biting down on his bottom lip, he said: “Please, love me”.
Your eyebrows furrowed in clear confusion. “Huh?”
“They mean ‘please, love me’” he clarified at the sight of your puzzled face, and your heart skipped a beat as you froze in your place. “I told you it was cheesy”.
“No, no, it’s not that. I just… is that what…” you pressed your lips together as you tried to compose yourself. “Did you… do you mean that?” it was now his turn to look confused, tilting his head to the side because of it. “You want me to love you?”
And although to you it seemed like a complicated question to answer, to him, on the other hand, it wasn’t. So, nodding his head immediately, he let you know that was exactly what he wanted.
“Back then, even when we were teenagers and barely ever talked, and I knew nothing about love, I was convinced I was in love with you… even if I knew it was one sided. And now that I got to be your friend and then your boyfriend, I…” he took in a deep breath, staring down to your hands in his before his eyes went back to yours. “I know more than ever that I love you. I love you so much, Y/N. And I know loving someone takes time, and I don’t want to push you or rush you at all, but if you could just try and find it in you to love me back someday, I—”
The small chuckle that abandoned your lips caused his mouth to shut close in an instant, not understanding what was so funny about his words and for a split second there feeling uneasy. However, all his worries went away when you cupped his face in your hands, staring at his lips for a brief second before your eyes went up to fix on his.
“I already love you, you dummy”.
Not giving him time to process your truthful words, if anything, knowing it would take him a while to do so, you leaned in to steal a small kiss from his lips, pecking them ever so tenderly a couple of times until he smiled, finally understanding the meaning of your words and placing his hands on the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away as he sucked on your bottom lip.
“Say it again?” he pleaded in between kisses, not being able to erase the huge smile on his face.
You chuckled teasingly. “Nope”.
“Yah,” he let go fully of your mouth. “You’re always speaking nonstop and now that I for once ask you to say something, you won’t?”
“Exactly” you smiled brightly, giggling when he squinted his eyes at you and leaning in to peck his mouth a couple more times. “I love you, bun” you cooed, being done with your teasing way earlier than you had planned to.
And it was the way you loved him back, along with the way you had gone back to call him that pet name he was the softest about, what had him giving you one of those bunny smiles of his that made you come up with that name to begin with.
“You won’t say it back?” you wondered, batting your lashes for him to take a hint.
Nevertheless, he shook his head no. “I already said it twice, we’re even”.
“Yah!” you lightly shoved him off, only to have him standing right back in between your legs like he had been during your entire conversation. “Jeongguk-ah~”
“Yes, baby?” he played innocent.
“Tell me you love me” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest.
Letting out a light laugh, he cupped your face and gave your mouth a chaste kiss. “I love you, petal”.
You smiled sweetly, allowing him to plant a few more kisses on your mouth before you pressed your lips to the spot under his jawline, resting your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you once more.
“You should’ve confessed back then” you lamented, looking up to his face yet only being met by the sight of his chin. “Why didn’t you?”
He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head and tightening the hold of his arms around your waist.
There it was, the most important question out of them all. The one he had came here to talk about, yet he had completely forgotten about as he had gotten caught up on making up with you instead. And now that things were finally good between you two, he couldn’t help but fear bringing up said person and what she had done would make things worse all over again.
“I was going to” he let you know. “That was the plan all along”.
Your eyebrows knitted together, sitting up so you could fix your questioning eyes on his troubled expression. “Then why didn’t you?” you repeated your previous question.
He sighed heavily, causing your body to tense up, as you knew right then you wouldn’t like what he was about to tell you. “Sooyeon…”
“What?” you pushed it when he stopped right after mentioning her name. “What did she do?!”
He bit the inside of his cheek. Although he had found out about everything a few days ago and had gotten some time to come to terms with it, it still hurt just as much. All the lost time and what it could have been, all the possibilities that could’ve come with having been with you as a couple ever since your last year of high school, still made his blood boil.
“She found out I was your flower boy one morning and she told me I was wasting my time…”
“What?!” your loud tone was a mix of both worry and anger. “Jeongguk, what did she tell you?”
He shrugged, a weak smile curving up his lips. “Does it matter anymore?”
“Of course it does” you argued. “It does to me”.
Letting out another sigh, knowing well enough he could not avoid this anymore, as you deserved to know the whole story just like he did, he grabbed your hands and gently held them in his — partially wanting to let you know it was alright, partially wanting to feel like it was alright. “She said you had told her you hoped it wasn’t me because you would have to give me a chance out of pity,” the look in your eyes right then made his heart hurt. “Because I was not popular, and I barely ever talked, so you would always be bored around me yet would have to pretend like you were not…”
“Bun, I never said that. I neve—”
“I know” he cut you off before you could freak out completely. “Petal, I know that now”.
“No, but she lied!” you raised your voice for him to hear you out. “I’m never bored around you, you know that, right? And the few times we got to talk back then I was never bored either, I…”
“Baby, I know…” he soothed you, cupping your face and pressing his forehead on yours. “I know. It’s okay”.
“Guk, I had feelings for you back then” you confessed, feeling your voice break.
He took in a shaky breath. Somehow, hearing that coming from you had hurt more than finding out from someone else like he had a few days ago. “It’s okay”.
And it was. It really was. You were together now. Somehow, you had managed to find your way back to each other years later and didn’t have to know what your lives were like without each other. However, the fact that it was alright, it didn’t mean it did not hurt. Because it did hurt. Thinking you could’ve been together ever since three years ago. How you wouldn’t have dated that asshole who broke your heart, and how he wouldn’t have gone three years of his life believing he was not enough. All of that, was not something the two of you could easily let go of.
“So all this time... you really believed I had said that about you? Even when we were friends, when we became a couple…” your voice sounded more broken by the second. “You let me back into your life even when I had supposedly said all those things back then?”
“Call me delusional, but I still really wanted to be close to you” he sheepishly admitted. That’s how he knew he would always have a soft spot for you, no matter what. “And anyway, baby, in my mind that was the high school you. You didn’t seem like the person who said those things back then at all when I got to actually meet you” he reassured you, then bitterly adding: “Now I can see why”.
You breathed uneasily. “You’re too good to me…”
“Yah, Y/N” he called you out immediately. “I told you, we’re not doing this”.
“But I really don’t deserve y—”
Your words were cut off by his lips softly pressing down on yours. Just like you would always call him out whenever he thought less of himself, hating it when he did that, he, too, hated hearing you say stuff like that about yourself.
“It doesn’t matter anymore” he whispered against your lips.
“Yes, it does…” you pouted. “She lied to both of us and we believed her. We could’ve been together ever since...”
“I know…”
“Three years, Guk. We lost three fucking years” you reminded him. “What if I hadn’t asked you to be my partner in the project this year, I mean, I wouldn’t even have you in my life and all because of her”.
“I know” he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his words this time. Because he knew very well what you were feeling, for he had felt the exact same a few days ago. “But can we just… forget about it?”
“No, I want to beat the shit out of her” your determined, poisonous tone, could do no other than earn a loud giggle from him.
“Do that later?” he pressed his lips to the crook of your neck. “She already took enough time away from us, let’s not let her get in between us anymore. We’re making up now, it’s just us two...”
It was now your turn to giggle, relaxing under his loving touch and nodding your head in agreement before you leaned in to briefly press your mouth to his jaw. “We’ll just have to catch up on all those lost years then”.
He laughed under his breath, cupping your face once more as he leaned in just enough for his lips to faintly brush yours. “I guess we’ll just have to do that”.
Enjoying the sound of that, you puckered your lips up right as his soft ones came in contact with them, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck so you could deepen the kiss. Humming contentedly when his tongue made its way inside your mouth, you felt his hands let go of your face and wander down your back, holding onto your hips to bring you even closer to the edge of the kitchen counter, at which you reacted by wrapping your legs around his hips to help him create the friction between your bodies he was asking for.
You found yourself letting go of his neck to dig your hands inside his sweatshirt instead, smiling coyly at the way you felt goosebumps form on his skin. You had discovered not long ago he was quite ticklish on his sides, and you absolutely loved faintly running your hands along them just to get that reaction out of him.
He breathed heavily when your fingertips made their way up his abs, letting his hands go down lower from their current spot on your back and placing them on your ass instead, giving it a light squeeze as he took advantage on said action to grind his hips against your center.
“Mm…” you let out quietly, finding out just then how much you had missed feeling him close like that.
“You think they’ll be home soon?” he asked, referring to your two chaotic friends, as he peppered a trail of kisses down to your neck.
“They must be just getting started on drinking” you let him know, a smile curving up your lips at the sensation of his wet ones sucking on your skin. “Why? You got something in mind?”
The chuckle that left his mouth tickled your skin, feeling one last kiss being placed on it before his lips were briefly back on yours. “Only if you’re up for it”.
Your lips parted in a bright smile, without another word, shoving him lightly out of the way so you could place your feet on the ground — gently taking his hand in yours and having his adoring eyes stuck to you as you guided him over to your room.
Once inside, and as you let go of his hold so you could turn around to lock the door just in case your friends decided to come home earlier than expected, his eyes fell on the multiple tiger lilies he had left on your seat over the last two days, along with the bouquet of flowers he had sent over to your place earlier that day, all of them carefully lying on your desk by one side of the bed. Smiling at the fact that you had kept them all —as he had been worried you would’ve thrown them away when he first sent them—, he turned around towards you right as you were done with the door, cupping your face immediately and bringing his lips to meet yours in a quite needy kiss.
Walking you backwards towards the bed as he refused to break the hot contact between your mouths, he helped you lie down on it as he crawled over your figure, parting your legs open with his knee so he could lie in between them — a light laugh of his resonating against your mouth when your hands were back into his sweatshirt and the trace of your fingertips tickled his sides.
Wanting more of you as well, he found himself digging his hands inside your t-shirt just like he had grown fond of ever since that one time in his room, letting them make their way up to your breasts so he could tease them a little bit. Only, this time, he was met not by the thin fabric of your bra, but with your soft skin instead — feeling your nipples instantly harden at his sudden touch as a small hum abandoned your lips.
Not being able to hide his —very pleasant— surprise, he withdrew his lips from yours; wide eyes staring at you before they travelled down to your still covered breasts.
At his quite cute reaction, you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “I’m wearing pyjamas, is it really that surprising?”
It shouldn’t be. He knew that very well, considering you had not once worn a bra whenever you slept over at each other’s. However, being so caught up in the moment, he had seemed to forget about that altogether.
Deciding to say nothing, he leaned down instead to trap your bottom lip in between his again, sucking lightly on it as his hands squeezed your breasts in such a way that left you wanting more in a heartbeat.
“Mm… fuck” you moaned ever so quietly when one of his thumbs teased your nipple.
Smiling at your reaction, he moved his kisses all the way down from your mouth to your collarbone, feeling your chest heavily move up and down when his mouth came close to it. Firmly placing his hands on the curve under your breasts, he lifted your body up with ease to adjust you up enough on the mattress so that your still covered breasts were now right under his face.
Not giving you a second to process what had just happened, he lowered his face to your chest, pressing open mouth kisses on the fabric that was still covering it, and getting another moan out of you when his hand went back to teasing one of your breasts under your t-shirt, while his hot mouth sucked on your other one over it.
“Guk, fuck” you gasped, feeling goosebumps form on your skin when his lips travelled down to your bellybutton and his hands abandoned your chest to tug at the end of your top instead.
Biting down on his lip, he glanced up to you before doing anything else. “Is it okay if I?”
Although his question had been left incomplete, you answered him with an eager nod of your head, wanting nothing but to feel his wet mouth on your sensitive buds already.
Tongue wetting his lips in anticipation, he lifted your t-shirt over your chest — leaving it still on yet completely exposing you to his eyes. And it was the way his eyes fixed on your naked chest like the world had just stopped, what managed to make you nervous enough to bring your arms up to cover them.
“I would’ve worn something hotter for you to look at if I had known this was going to happen” you couldn’t help but joke your way out of it.
Jeongguk laughed lightly, leaning down to peck your neck a couple of times, trying to ease your sudden nervousness. “I don’t think anything could ever top this”.
Because although he was sure getting to see you in lingerie would be one hell of a sight, he loved this view the most. He loved looking at you, with absolutely nothing on the way of your body and his eyes.
And just like that, his teasing yet genuine words were the last push you needed to relax under both his touch and stare, allowing him to gently grab your wrists and remove your arms from off your chest. Receiving a small nod from you when his questioning eyes fixed on yours for a second, he planted two short kisses to your mouth before they were back on your chest.
Your back curved up with the first lap of his tongue on one of your nipples, feeling your breathing become heavier when his lips wrapped around it without any kind of warning.
“Jeongguk…” you moaned in what sounded like a plea.
Wanting to hear more of his name coming out as one of your pretty moans, he swirled his tongue harder around your bud, right as his thumb teased the one he had left unattended until then - not many seconds going by before he moved his mouth over to it so he could tease it as well.
“Fuck,” you gasped when his mouth sucked on your skin. “Jeongguk”.
Catching on the way you had pushed your hips slightly up to try and get some friction out of his already hardened length, he found himself giving you one slow thrust that had you both moaning whilst wanting more. Instead of grinding on you again, however, he let go of your breast and let his hand wander down to your pants instead, palming your already wet core through them before he fidgeted with their waistband.
“Please,” you begged.
“Hm?” he hummed against your jaw, as he placed a sweet kiss to it before going to your lips.
“Your fingers” you managed to blurt out, feeling like you were losing your mind over the way his long fingers were now teasingly digging inside your pants. “Jeongguk, please”.
Although he found out right then that he loved hearing you beg, he wanted the most to make you feel good, which is why he was quick to comply with your wishes. Palming you now over your damp panties, he felt your body shake at the contact — a gasp escaping your mouth when his fingers made the fabric aside and they started rubbing circle motions on your folds.
You felt warmer and way more wet than he had expected, and he felt the sudden urge to run his tongue along your folds to get a taste of your arousal. However, right then, he knew what you wanted, what you needed, were his fingers inside of you. So, he did just that.
“Ah, fuck” you threw your head harder against the mattress when one of his fingers made its way into you.
“You’re so tight...” he breathed out in amazement, feeling himself get harder at the thought of what it would be like to feel your walls tightening around his cock instead.
Slowly shifting his finger inside your responsive walls, he focused on taking in your facial expressions to try and figure out what pace you liked the most — sticking with a faster one after one particular moan had escaped your lips right after he speeded up his pistoning motions.
“Like that?” he asked nevertheless, planting a lingering kiss to your chest.
“Yes” you managed to blurt out, grinding your hips against his finger, being desperate for more.
Catching up on that, he added another digit, hissing at the way your walls had seemed to tighten even more around them. Opening and closing his fingers in scissoring motions as he tried to stretch you out so he could move around with ease, he felt your breathing become heavier by the second, letting out a choked moan when he experimented by curling his digits against your walls.
“Oh, fuck” you whimpered when he curled them once more, managing to hit with them that one spot that could make you come undone in a matter of minutes.
“Feels good?” he asked, admiring your factions as you were too immersed in your own pleasure to remember how to speak.
“Mhm…” you answered with a simple sound instead, mewling when his motions sped up their pace. “So good”.
“Fuck,” he blurted when he felt your juices running down your slit. “Baby, you’re dripping”.
“Jeongguk, don’t stop” you begged when you felt his fingers no longer moving inside of you, desperately grabbing his wrist when you felt them start to pull out. “Don’t stop”.
He reassured you with an intoxicating kiss that made you dizzy. “I wanna eat you out”.
Your breath hitched at his low words, feeling your walls tighten when you opened your eyes to meet his hungry ones. And you didn’t have to even think before you were nodding your head. You needed him, that was all you knew. No matter if it were his fingers, his mouth or his cock, you were desperate for him right then, and would let him have you however he wanted.
Kissing your lips one more time, he felt you whimper against his mouth when his fingers pulled out of you, causing you to close your legs as you tried to replace the way they felt with the friction your thighs could provide you with. It didn’t last long, though, for Jeongguk was quick to pull them open once more so he could remove your pyjama pants along with your panties, licking his lips in anticipation at the perfect sight he got of your dripping folds.
“Fuck, you’re so hot” he rasped, causing your cheeks to burn and another whimper escape your mouth when his thumb brushed faintly over your clit.
“Jeongguk, please” begging seemed to be your only way of communication that night, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the hell out of it.
Pulling you closer to him, he placed your thighs over his shoulders before he finally brought his face up to your heat. Worrying for a split second there, as he was not entirely sure as to what was the right way to do this, he decided to go with his instinct —just like he had done seconds ago when his fingers were inside of you— and begin by slowly sliding his tongue through your folds. The way your body had trembled and a moan of yours had reached his ears as soon as he did, let him know he was doing well.
Delving his tongue in your slit, you instinctively reacted by pulling your hips slightly away from him at the pleasure his ministrations were giving you, and Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to his mouth once more, sucking on your wet heat before he pushed his tongue inside.
“Oh, God” you whimpered when he started fucking you with his tongue. “J-Jeongguk, yes”.
Moaning loudly when he pushed a finger back into you, you grabbed onto one of your breasts with one hand, as your other one travelled down to entangle your fingers in his already messy hair, earning a muffled moan from him when you pulled lightly at it.
Curling his finger inside you the way he had found out drove you crazy, his mouth let go of your heat, planting a small kiss on it before he licked his way up your folds and stopped by your clit. Although he was not experienced in all this at all, he did know stimulating that small button of yours could work wonders, and he was willing to give it a try. The second he swirled his tongue around it and you cried out in pleasure, he knew it wouldn’t take much longer before you reached your climax if he kept applying pressure on that particular spot.
Tightening his hold on one of your thighs to keep you from moving away as your body writhed beneath him, he added a second finger inside you, sucking on your clit before his tongue came in contact with it again.
“Mm—ah, Jeongguk. Fuck” you cried incoherently, curling your toes as you felt your climax getting closer. “Fuck, d-don’t stop”.
Feeling your walls tighten around his fingers, he could tell as well that you were close. Pushing his digits deeper into you, he managed to hit once more that one spot you needed him the most.
“Right there” you let him know, curving your back when he followed your words and his fingers brushed over it once more. “Oh, righ—fuck!” you whimpered.
“Let go, baby” he rasped, replacing his mouth on your clit with his thumb and pressing down on it in circle motions. “Cum for me”.
The mere sound of that, along with the way his mouth had came in contact with your folds as his fingers kept fucking into you, were all you needed to finally come undone under his touch, crying out his name one last time as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm.
Closing your eyes and letting the aftershocks take over your body, you moaned lightly at the feel of your boyfriend’s tongue running along your slit, tasting the juices that were dripping down on it and licking you clean before he made his way back next to you, hovering over your figure and kissing you hungrily yet somehow gently. One of his thumbs caressed your hip as his other one came in contact with your chin, drawing circular motions on your skin as you kissed him back — eyes still closed as you felt your body finally steadying.
“Was that alright?” he asked, planting a lingering kiss to your mouth.
Opening your eyes, you looked at him with disbelief written all over them. “It was amazing” you reassured him with a smile nevertheless, allowing his mouth to come in contact with yours once more.
Pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his neck, you felt something hard poke one of your sides, causing you to undo the kiss and stare down to the outline of his hardened member against the loose fabric of his pants.
“Want me to help you with that again?” you teasingly raised one of your eyebrows, earning a small lip bite from him at the memories of how good you had made him feel not too long ago.
Although it took him a second, he nodded his head. A smile curved up the corners of your lips at that, only for it to be replaced with a frown when his hand stopped you from reaching for his cock.
“Not like that” he shook his head.
You pouted in confusion. “Then how…”
Wetting his lips with his tongue, he leaned down to brush his mouth with yours. “I want to fuck you”.
You felt a wave of heat hit your body at his words, for although he had just seen and touched pretty much all of you, and you had just offered to suck him off, you had thought that would be as far as you’d get, just like that one time in his room when it had led to nothing else.
“W-What?” your voice betrayed you by stuttering a bit.
“I want to fuck you” he repeated, sounding just as determined as he had before. “You don’t want to?”
“No, I want to!” you were quick to clarify. Fuck, you wanted to. “It’s just… You sure you want this? With me?”
“I’ve wanted to have you like this for so long, Y/N. I could not be any more sure” his words sent shivers up your spine. “Besides, sorry to remind you, petal, but you are my girlfriend, so…”
“That I am, huh?” you played along, pulling him down by the neck of his sweatshirt so your lips could meet his. “Then I guess I’ll be good to you tonight and let you have your way with me”.
Smiling contentedly at your words, he wasted no time in crashing his mouth on yours, burying one of his hands under your t-shirt to give one of your breasts a tight squeeze before he tugged at the end of the fabric — eyebrows furrowing slightly and puzzled eyes opening when you held your top down by pressing your arms to your sides, not allowing him to pull it up so he could take it off.
“Wha—”
“It’s unfair you’re about to leave me naked while you’re still fully dressed, don’t you think?” you pointed out with pouty lips.
Rolling his eyes in amusement, he sat up on the mattress so he could take his sweatshirt off, being followed by you right after, as you helped him get rid of it with a smile on your face. Now, you had seen him shirtless once, when you were having food in his room one evening and he stained his t-shirt with soda, proceeding to change into another one right in front of you, but you had seen little to nothing of his torso, as he had turned almost fully around as he did so. And hence now, you could not hide the hungry look on your face as you stared at his toned chest.
“My eyes are up here” he teased you with an amused smile, causing you to send a playful glare his way.
“You didn’t exactly look into my eyes either when you pulled my t-shirt up, so…”
He chuckled at your snarky remark, leaning in to connect his mouth with yours and then tugging once more at the end of your top, just like he had done a minute before. This time, however, you pulled your arms up, letting go of his mouth so he could get rid of that one last piece of clothing of yours that was bothering him so much.
Not wasting any more time, you helped him out of the rest of his clothes as well, giggling against his lips when they needingly crashed on yours once more, with one swift movement lying you down on the mattress as your curious, wandering hands became familiar with each other’s bodies.
A raspy moan escaped Jeongguk’s throat when your hand stroked his member, being followed by a choked one when you tightly wrapped your hand around it, gently moving it up and down his length.
“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed heavily, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he unconsciously thrusted into your hand. “I need you”.
You smiled at the sound of his begging words, leaving a small kiss on his naked shoulder before you released his member from your hold and pushed him on his back, letting him adjust into a more comfortable position as he rested his back against the headboard, before you sunk your knees down on the mattress on each side of his lap — his hands immediately resting on the curve of your waist and a shaky breath coming out of his mouth at the feel of your wet core rubbing ever so faintly against his cock.
“You sure you want this?” you asked.
He eagerly nodded his head, pulling you back to meet his swollen lips. “I want you so bad”.
Feeling a wave of heat rushing through your body at that, you nodded your head, pecking his lips one more time before you reached for your nightstand, opening its small drawer and taking a condom out of it. Going back to your boyfriend, you were met with his rather taken aback expression.
“You knew this was going to happen or…” he questioned with a raised brow and a teasing smile.
You shook your head as a shy smile curved up your lips. “The two idiots I live with filled my drawer with them when we started staying over at each other’s regularly” you explained with a roll of eyes. “They also left a box full of them in my closet”.
Jeongguk laughed wholeheartedly at that. “Well, that’s good to hear. They will come in handy”.
Laughing along with him at his joyful remark, you opened the small envelope in your hands, pulling slightly back so you were no longer hovering over his member and could slide the condom on it with ease — feeling Jeongguk’s breath hitch at both the unfamiliar feel of the thin latex around his length, and the familiar one of your hands on it. Staring back at him once you were done, you stole a sweet kiss from his lips, hearing him moan against your mouth when your hand was once more wrapped around his cock, pumping it a couple more times as you aligned it with your entrance.
And then, locking eyes with him for a second, you kissed him slowly. As slowly as you had started to sink down on him.
Letting go of the kiss as he involuntarily tilted his head back, Jeongguk let out a loud moan, immediately getting lost into what was without a doubt the most pleasure he had ever felt. And he knew right away that your warm, wet walls wrapping tightly around his member, was something he could easily become addicted to.
Staring lovingly at the way his eyes remained closed and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but moan as well as you pushed down lower on him, feeling your walls stretching as you tried to take his entire length.
“Fuck” he rasped when he was completely inside of you.
Tightening his hold on your hips, he pulled you slightly closer to him on his lap, not being able to hold back a blissful chuckle at the way the friction he had just created made him feel.
“What is it?” you wondered with a smile of your own when he leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder.
“It feels so good” he let you know with another chuckle.
Joining him on his sudden outburst of joy, you let out a light laugh just as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your shoulder, loving to be the one who got to share this moment with him — to be the one he wanted to share this moment with. Pressing a small kiss to the top of his head, you placed two fingers under his chin to push it up and have him look at you. Once he did, you leaned in to steal a lingering kiss.
“I love you” you said for the third time that night.
He smiled brightly, bringing his lips up to yours and locking them in a slow kiss. “I love you more”.
Opening your mouth to fight him on that, what came out of it instead was a choked moan after he pulled your hips down on his cock.
“Jeongguk, fuck” you let your forehead fall to his shoulder when he pushed his hips up to yours.
Slowly rolling your hips, you met him right as he thrusted up on you once more, causing a small moan to make its way out of his mouth. “Mm… baby…”
With his hands firmly grabbing your hips, you let him guide the pace as you rode him, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your forehead on his as the two of you grew used to the rhythm he was leading. Closing your eyes, you let your heavy breathings mix as they were now, along with a few moans here and there, the only sound filling your silent bedroom.
“O-Oh, fuck” you gasped when he pulled you down harder on him, somehow managing to push deeper inside of you.
You leaned slightly back when he repeated said action, tilting your head back as well and then humming quietly when you felt his warm lips wrap around one of your breasts, slowly sucking on your nipple, as you had just given him the perfect opportunity to do just that, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pulling you closer to him as you kept rolling your hips at the same pace he had created for you before.
“Mh—ah! Fuck” he moaned when you pushed your legs up, enough for only half of his cock to be inside of you, to later take it all in again. “Y/N…”
Doing it again, you couldn’t stop the whimper that had just abandoned your mouth as his length had managed to reach that soft spot of yours. Needing more of him, you sped up the pace of your grinding against his hips, feeling him finally let go of your sensitive bud to let his sweaty forehead rest in the crook of your neck as his moans became louder by the second.
“Wait, wait” he demanded breathily, placing his hands on your hips and firmly holding them down so you would stop moving. “Stop”.
“What’s wrong?” you worried, doing as told in a heartbeat.
He shook his head no, quietly letting you know nothing was really wrong, as he buried his face deeper in the crook of your neck and closed his eyes while he tried his best to catch his breath. “Feels too good” he admitted in a raspy voice. “Don’t wanna cum yet”.
You giggled under your breath, finding silent joy on the fact that he hadn’t asked you to stop because he wasn’t enjoying what you were doing, but because he was liking it too much.
Lowering your head to his shoulder, you planted a small kiss on it. “You can cum if you want” you let him know, pressing another soothing kiss to the crook of his neck. “I understand”.
He shook his head no, letting out a heavy sigh as his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. Maybe it was his ego, or just the fact that he really wanted to make you feel good too, maybe both, what made him refuse to let himself go right then, no matter how bad he wanted to. No matter how hard it was not to.
Smiling sweetly at him, you brought one of your hands up to his damp hair while your other one caressed his back, entangling your fingers in his dark locks as you waited for him to come down from the high he had been about to reach. Letting out a sigh when he felt like he could finally breathe again, he placed his hands on your back to pull you closer — lips looking for yours when your naked chest pressed on his.
Kissing him hard, you opened your mouth for his tongue to meet yours after it had traced your bottom lip, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and trying your best not to roll your hips like you were dying to. Although you didn’t have to hold back for much longer, for with one last kiss and with his warm hands still holding you down on his cock, he pushed it deeper inside of you.
“Fuck” you gasped at the sudden stimulation, taking it as your cue to start moving as well.
“F—Y/N” he moaned when your hips met his in the middle, as they pushed into you once more.
Helping you lead the pace once again, he held you by the waist, digging his fingers into your hot skin and deciding right there, as you moaned his name and your walls tightened around his cock, that he wanted to take over from then on. So, with a swift movement, you were now under him as he laid your back on the mattress — a light moan escaping your lips when he pulled out of you to make you more comfortable on the bed, immediately becoming whiny as you missed his whole length inside of you.
“No, don’t stop fucking me” you pouted, breath hitching when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to where he was sitting down on the mattress. “Jeongguk, please”.
He smiled at both the sound and sight of you right then, really enjoying them one hell of a lot. It was your messy hair, swollen lips and naked chest that moved up and down as you breathed heavily, along with the neediness in your voice as you were begging for him once more, what made it easy for him to decide he liked being in control.
Catching your bottom lip in his mouth as he adjusted himself in between your legs, he heard you beg one more time against his lips. However, just as you did, he felt one of your hands desperately go down to your center so you could feel something inside of you. Only you didn’t get to, for his hand grabbed your wrist right before your fingers could find their way inside, managing to grab your other one as well and pin them over your head as he pushed his hips down enough for the head of his cock to align with your wet center.
“I’m the one fucking you tonight, petal”.
You moaned at the sound of his words being murmured against your neck — the way such sweet pet name had been said with such a lustful tone right then, making you somehow even more needy for him.
“Please,” you breathed out, overwhelmed by the way his mouth teased the sensitive skin of your neck and he rubbed his cock against your core, not quite pushing into you yet. “Jeongguk, please. I need you”.
“What was that?” he wondered teasingly.
“I need you” you repeated. “Jeongguk, please. Please fuck m—ah!” your head was thrown back in pleasure when he slammed his entire length into you, just the way you were so badly begging for.
Hungrily kissing your mouth, he muffled the moans that came out of it with each thrust of his hips — letting go of your lips as a low groan made its way out of his throat when your walls wrapped tighter than he had felt them do that evening, as you were getting closer to reach your high.
Letting his forehead fall to your shoulder, he muffled a cry against your skin as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your walls tightened once more against his cock, knowing right then he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.
“Harder” you pleaded breathily, arching your back as he wasted no time in complying. “F-Fuck, Jeongguk. Ah!”
“Y/N” he rasped your name, feeling his inevitable release about to hit. “Fuck, I’m g-gonna cum”.
Not being able to form any kind of coherent sentence right then, you settled for an eager nod of your head to let him know it was okay. Digging your nails on the wet skin of his back, you scratched your way down on it when he once again managed to find that one soft spot of yours that had you crying out in a second.
“Right there,” you desperately let him know, feeling your legs start to give up when he kept hitting it with each of his thrusts. “Fuck, right there”.
“A-Ah, Y/N, I’m—” he stumbled upon his own words, not being able to hold on anymore given how much tighter you were getting now around him. “Mm… I’m gon—ah!”
Groaning one last time, he let himself go like he had fought so hard not to — your pulsating walls around his cock finally driving him over the edge.
Although overwhelmed by the intense wave of pleasure running through his body, beginning to feel dizzy even, he did not slump down on you to catch his breath like he so badly needed to. Instead, he kept riding his own orgasm — his thrusts becoming sloppier yet rougher as he greedily tried to drive you over the edge, too.
And it was only a matter of seconds before you did.
“J-Jeongguk, I’m—ahh!” you cried out one last time, feeling your shaky legs give up as you came undone beneath him.
Helping you ride out your orgasm as well, Jeongguk whimpered at the overstimulation, finally letting his body slump down on yours and burying his face on your neck, as he felt his body tremble with each spasm of your walls around him. Feeling his hot, heavy breath hit your sweaty neck as the two of you desperately tried to catch your breath, you entangled once more your fingers on the hair at the back of his head — fingertips ever so tenderly moving in circular motions in a soothing way.
Closing your eyes for a couple of seconds, you felt his thumb caress one of your sides, later having you opening your eyes when he pressed two brief kisses to the crook of your neck and a breathy laugh of his was soon to follow right after.
“What’s so amusing?” you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curve up when another chuckle of his reached your ears.
“That was amazing” he confessed, causing your face to burn as your smile grew wider. Pressing one of his arms down on the mattress, he held his body up so he could lock his eyes with yours. “Was it okay for you?”
You bit your bottom lip, shyly looking away for a split second before your eyes focused back on his. “Jeon Jeongguk,” you called his name in a serious tone.
“Hm?”
“You made me cum twice” you reminded him, loving the sight of his already flushed cheeks turning even more pink than they already were. “I think that speaks for itself”.
He let out a shy laugh, tilting your chin up as he brought his lips down to yours and kissing you sweetly for a good couple of seconds, later moving his lips over to press an open mouth kiss to your cheek before he finally pulled out of you. Removing the condom from his member, he crawled to the edge of the bed and reached for the small bin you kept under your desk next to your bed, bringing it closer to him and throwing the used latex into it before he went back to lie on his stomach next to you — blissfully letting you kiss his lips once more like you had just reached up to.
“I’ll get better at it” he promised, earning a quiet giggle from you.
“Well, we do have three years to make up for, so I guess we’ll both get a lot of practice” you pointed out coyly.
“And we don’t have to worry about running out of condoms anytime soon” he reminded you, amusement clear in his voice.
Throwing your head back on the mattress, you allowed a throaty laugh to escape your mouth, later looking back at him and bringing your hand up to cup one of his cheeks. Gently caressing it a couple of times, you puckered your lips up for him to come closer and cut the space between your mouth — smiling softly when he complied in a heartbeat, slowly sucking on your bottom lip.
“I love you” he mumbled on your lips, loving the way he was finally able to say it freely, knowing you felt the same, like he had been aching you to all along.
“I love you more” you repeated his previous answer with a smile.
Kissing your lips chastely, he shook his head no, tilting his head towards the flowers that were taking over your desk. “Those are proof that I love you more”.
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Those are proof that you’ve loved me for longer, it’s got nothing to do with the amount of it”.
“Mhm…” he nodded his head, letting you know with both the tone of his voice and the look on his eyes that you were not convincing him. “Whatever works for you, petal” his lips turned into a smile as he let his back slump down on the bed.
“Yah,” you gently shoved him off, feeling your heart skip a beat when you heard him laugh.
Pulling you to his chest by wrapping an arm around you, he planted a kiss to your forehead. Although you had sighed contentedly after resting your face on his chest, he didn’t miss the way your mind was quite absent right then.
“What’s wrong?” his eyebrows knitted together, growing somewhat more confused after following with his eyes to where yours were staring at and having them fall on the flowers.
“Nothing” you smiled, unconsciously running your fingers along his chest. “I just wish these particular ones would last forever”.
Smiling as he adoringly stared at you, he hugged you closer to his body. “I can get you all the flowers you want”.
At that, your head snapped up so you could lock eyes with him. The mischievous smile that had just formed on your mouth as you cockily raised one of your eyebrows, letting him know right away he was about to regret what he had just said. “You’ll be like my flower daddy then?”
Yup, there it was, the regret.
“Anddd, you ruined it” he lamented.
Letting his head fall back down on the mattress, he closed his eyes as he tried his best to fight the smile that was threatening with taking over his face, knowing he would fail miserably at it when he heard you chuckle next to him — finally giving in to it and laughing as well as you peppered open mouth kisses around his face.
Although popular, loud, chaotic, bubbly, impulsive as hell, and just the complete opposite to what he was, he could not be any happier it was you the one his heart had chosen to fall irretrievably in love with.
#bts#bts imagines#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#bts smut#jungkook smut#kpop#kpop fanfic#bts fanfic#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts social media au#jungkook social media au#bts x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jungkook
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two sides of the same coin
pairing; Itadori Yuuji x Reader (x Sukuna, at least kinda/implied)
warnings; i didn’t proofread this at all lol
a/n; woke up this morning with this imagine in mind so naturally i had to get it out of my head
summary; cuddle time with your boyfriend makes the monster come out... only he doesn’t seem that scary to you / seriously this is just a little something, don’t expect much of this
word count; 1,9k
Your boyfriend, Itadori Yuuji, leans heavily against you as soon as you open the door to him. Pressing his face into the crook of your neck and moaning dramatically as he puts his arms around you to squish you against his broad chest and puts even more of his weight on you. Snorting you stumble a step back, arms reaching around him to steady both of you, with little succes as you keep stumbling back because he was a beefy guy and you had trouble keeping him upright.
“Yuuji, what are you doing, you’re heavy” you huff as you stagger another step backwards, his face never leaving your neck as he sighs again.
“’m tired.” Came his nuzzled answer against your collar, leaving goosebumps in his wake as his hot breath tickles over your exposed skin.
“I can tell. C’mon then, I have dinner ready for you.”
You maneuver your boyfriend to your shared kitchen and sit him down on a chair so you have your hands free to get his food ready. He watches you with big tired eyes the whole time, exhaustion making them droop and close from time to time, seemingly without him even noticing it.
He looked cute, as usual, a little disheveled, but still utterly cute and a warm feeling spread in your chest again as you watched him slowly stuff his face with what you prepared for him, munching happily, but slowly. Another indicator at how exhausted he must be, you thought to yourself. Usually the food would be gone in little to no time.
“Can we watch a movie now? I want to cuddle.”
Your simple approving hum was answer enough for him. Instead of waiting for you to clean up, he wraps his arms around your middle as soon as you were close enough to him and carries you to the living room as if you would weight nothing. Well his inhuman strength sure came in handy sometimes.
Gently putting you down on the couch, he hands you the tv remote, before flopping down on you entirely, arms going around your hips as he snuggles his face into your lap. Another sigh leaves his lips, this time sounding very content as you tenderly run your fingers through his hair. You chuckle.
“You don’t even want to watch a film, you just want to be cuddled, am I right?”
“No, but you can choose the movie.”
“Liar. You don’t even have your eyes open.” You laugh as you poke his cheek. “Such a big baby.”
“Mhh don’t stop.” He grumbles when he couldn’t feel your fingers comb through his hair anymore.
Absentmindedly you just put on a random documentary on Netflix, focus never leaving your boyfriends face. Or what you could see of it anyways, as he had it mushed against your thighs.
“Hard mission today? Want to talk about it?” you ask as you continue to run your fingers through his pinkish hair, grazing your nails along his neck exactly how he likes it.
A first approving hum and another declining hum vibrate against your legs and you smile fondly down at him. It has been a long time since he last came home this exhausted. At times like this, you were actually happy that he had the king of curses residing inside of him. Sukuna surely would intervene when it got dangerous enough, making sure Yuuji, and therefore he himself would survive.
Continuing to gently caress your boyfriend, you start thinking again. It has been some time now since Yuuji had last lost control and let Sukuna emerge. It also usually happens when he was as exhausted as he currently was: when he was letting his guard down.
And sure enough, as your fingers trail down his neck, scratching at his scalp before slightly massaging his muscles you could see them: faint black lines appearing all over your boyfriends body. They disappear just as quickly when Yuuji moves a little, readjusting his weight on you, making it even easier to access his neck just how he likes it.
Soon enough his breathing evens out again, chest lifting and falling slowly, drooling a little as he drifts off for real this time. Black lines appear again all over him. Smiling, you trace your finger along one of them, noticing the little shudder the man tries to hold back. Humming, you continue to caress your boyfriends face and neck. Your smile only grows as time goes by, so when finally a red eye pops open on your boyfriends’ cheek you snicker.
“Who would’ve thought that the king of curses likes to be babied as well…” you mock, as you gently run your finger below his eye, pulling it quickly away when a mouth appears to snap at it.
The man currently in your lap was not your boyfriend anymore and you knew that. Of course you did. As soon as the markings appeared he was gone, yet you just knew Sukuna wouldn’t hurt you. When this switch had happened the first time without Yuuji noticing, you had freaked out and poked him hardly, which woke him up instantly and made Sukuna disappear in a matter of seconds. He was just as freaked out as you were about it then, so you had kept it a secret that it had happened after that again. And again.
So now, when 3 more red eyes stared up at you as he lifted his head a little you only sigh, but run your hands through his hair nonetheless.
“Rough day for you as well, hm? You’re not very chatty today.”
Sukunas much deeper voice rumbles against your thighs as he rests his head there again and whines. “I think I was the only one having a rough day. The brat nearly got himself killed…again.”
Stopping your ministrations, you fix your eyes on his face and wait for him to elaborate. When he does not, you pull at his hair a little. “Could you please explain how my boyfriend nearly got himself killed…again!?”
“Did I tell you to stop?”
“What?” you ask confused.
He lifts himself up again, giving your hands a pointed look, making you groan. “You’re so demanding.”
“I’m the king of curses, you should do as I say or you’ll die.”
“Oh shut up, you were literally drooling in my lap two minutes ago.”
“I wasn’t, the brat was. I could kill you right now.”
Rolling your eyes you shove your hands back into his hair a little rougher than necessary, pulling on strands of his hair as he still didn’t tell you what happened. “Tell me or I’ll stop again.”
Your leg heats up as he exhales against it slowly and then starts telling you what happened. Yuuji was a decent fighter you knew that, but you also knew that one of his weak points were his friends and loved ones. And today that had proved to be the problem.
“I had to grow back his whole arm,” he complains. “If I hadn’t switched with him he would have bled to death right there.”
Your hands falter again. So it had been really bad today. No wonder he hadn’t wanted to tell you about it. “Hey honey, I nearly died today, how was your day?” Goosebumps raise on your arms as you imagine how the day could have gone if Sukuna had not meddled. Instead of your tired boyfriend coming home to you, a random worker from jujutsu tech, telling you he died. Or even worse, one of his close friends coming to deliver such a horrendous message. You involuntarily shudder.
“Don’t worry, he’s fine.”
Cupping his cheek, you make him look up at you. “Thank you, Sukuna.”
“I only did it to safe myself.”
“That doesn’t mean I appreciate it any less.”
His mouth already pulled into a snarl, ready to give a snarky remark when the lines on his body started rapidly fading again and a droopy Yuuji was looking at you again.
“Sorry sweetie, were you talking to me?” he yawns loudly and squishes his face even more into your lap, snuggling in again. “I’m just so tired.”
Gently running your fingers over his face, you poke him in the cheek. “Let’s go to bed then puppy, you need to rest properly.”
It was obvious that Yuuji didn’t want to move away from his place on top of you, but he also knew you were right. As nice as your fingers in his hair felt, in the end this position would strain his neck and make him even sorer than he already was. So he reluctantly got up and got himself ready for bed, humming happily when he saw that you joined him in the bathroom.
With the toothbrush still dangling from his mouth he asks you what you had been saying earlier. Pondering if you should tell him that you’ve been talking with Sukuna, and not for the first time at that, you decide against it…for now. He would surely freak out again and lose all of his tiredness if you told him now and then he wouldn’t be able to rest. And he so very clearly needed to rest. You could tell him tomorrow morning, you decided. So you tell him you’ve only been rambling along a little.
After brushing his teeth, he leaves you alone to do your evening routine, but not before he discards his shirt and trousers in the laundry basket. He was one of those persons who always ran hot, so he only slept in his boxers. Who needed a blanket or clothes when they could have their girlfriend warm them up, right? That was his motto. You snort when he came back to give you a quick kiss on the cheek, telling you to hurry.
When you came to the bedroom shortly after that, he was already sprawled out in bed, opening his arms for you to lay on top of him, so you do. Resting your face on his chest, snuggling closer so you could press little kisses to the underside of his chin, making him laugh. His comforting smell soon engulfs you and you nuzzle your nose harder against him, silently thanking Sukuna again for saving your boyfriend. In return, you can feel his arms wrap around you even more tightly.
“Yuuji?” you softly whisper. He only hums for you to know he heard you, and gives a little squeeze to encourage you to continue speaking.
Lifting yourself up a little, you press a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you.”
Yuuji pops open an eye at that, pulls you close again and kisses you back, slowly, as if he had all the time in the world, pouring all his love for you into the kiss, instead of just saying ‘i love you’ back.You smile against his lips. “Good night.”
Taking up your position on his chest again, you close your eyes as well, listening to his soft breathing and little snores. Eventually it gets silent again and you feel two more arms wrap around your middle. Now too tired yourself to lift up your head and look at Sukuna, you just press a soft kiss against his chest as well, mumbling a “thank you again, ‘kuna.” Into his chest, before falling asleep yourself.
You miss the fond smile that grazes the curses lips as he beholds you, laying there utterly at peace in his arms and sighs. Maybe he did save that brat not only for his own benefits after all.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna x reader#itadori x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk imagines#itadori yuuji x reader#itadori yuuji#sukuna#i don't know what this is#i just want to cuddle with them both so much#nana do u see this#this is what happens when we rewatch jjk#the cuddle urge with yuuji is so strong ugH but sukuna as well#twosidescoinfic#mywriting
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My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot
This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp
(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)
quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy
small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)
Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.
Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end
You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.
With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.
“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.
“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”
You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.
Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.
You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.
The colors are gone.
+++
twenty years later
You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.
The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.
Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.
“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.
You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.
You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.
It’s never you.
You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.
All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?
You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.
As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.
You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.
“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”
“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”
“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”
“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”
“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”
Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.
“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”
You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.
“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.
“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”
You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?
“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”
Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”
Blue. Blue.
You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.
+++
seven months later
“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”
“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”
You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”
“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”
She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.
“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”
“Oh. Cool. Who?”
“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”
You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”
“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”
“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”
“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.
“Sooo, you’ll come?”
You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”
+++
“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.
“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”
“Fine.”
Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.
Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.
One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.
You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.
After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.
“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”
Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.
There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.
“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.
“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”
But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”
“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”
“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”
“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.
His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”
At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.
But neither you or Tom move one inch.
The only issue is people are beginning to stare.
You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.
“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”
“Don’t you have to sit up front?”
He nods. “I do, but—”
“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.
“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.
“I’m sure.”
He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x fem!reader#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston x you#tom hiddleston x soulmate!reader#tom hiddleston soulmate au#soulmate au#tom hiddleston one shot#tom hiddleston fluff#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston fanfiction#completely self indulgent#as always
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Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1
🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶
Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??
Yes.
Wushanju Crew Chat
Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.
Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS
Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.
Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES
Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol
What glittery bead curtain
Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.
What could this mean?
Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?
Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES
Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat
Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU
I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS
BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING
GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS
PANIC AT THE DISCO
Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.
Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.
Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT
SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?
Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES
BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.
Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop
Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.
Wang Pangzi: LOL
Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?
Zhang Qiling: No.
Wu Xie: okay who’s next
Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN
REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)
Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?
Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.
Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS
BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL
ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS
Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted
Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL
Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off
Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year
He and I go way back
Zhang Qiling: Way back where?
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT
IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS
YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM
Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.
Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY
LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE
Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.
Main Chat
Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival
Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that
Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.
Re: the trip
He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju
Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital
And frankly the hospital hates him too
Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL
I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT
A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE
WOULDNT YOU SAY
XIOAGE
Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?
Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?
Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.
ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED
Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?
Li Cu: uh nope
Unless u count the outdated memes
Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing
Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet
Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really
(I mean maybe? but who knows)
Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age
Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age
Wu Xie: …hey:(
Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.
Wu Xie: ????????
Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck
Unknown Number: …close enough.
Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that
Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck
Are you
Li Cu is underage FYI
So Im staying on this chat
Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that
Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g
u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember
And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat
we have been discussing u
Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!
What a surprise:)
hi so nice to meet you:)
Main Chat:
Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT
FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT
IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS
Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?
Not my problem? Good.
Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU
HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH
IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE
Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance
has he been collecting on two allowances??
Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?
Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.
Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?
Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)
Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.
another dangerous adventure. again. prick.
Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago
Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago
Li Cu: That isn’t funny.
Unknown Number: …What?
Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.
…I use humor as a coping mechanism?
Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?
Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means
He doesn’t cope, like ever
In fact
It’s kind of why we met
Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh
Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao
Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?
Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why
Main Chat
Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv
Who do we know who spends time in jail
Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process
Also how’s the curtain case coming along
Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?
Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure
Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH
Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat
Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit
u are sus as hell
Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night
I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles
Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved
Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.
Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha
Forget i said anything
Delete this chat even
Li Cu: shit I meant
Legally, biologically, I meant—
shit
…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?
Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!
Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here
lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e
Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff
Wu Xie: uh…okay.
Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail
As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less
I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”
Well maybe the sand
that shit was everywhere
Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
Li Cu: no, no it’s just
I do technically have a dad
who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.
So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there
Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh
Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right
Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that
Li Cu: ew tmi
Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery
I moved my stuff here, I live here now
So you can’t die anymore
Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned
anyways abt the curtain
Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea
I am in tears.
Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here
Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb
Go hug Pangzi or something
Maybe delete this chat
Or the curtain thing
Focus on the curtain thing
Just stfu and go away
Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3
Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.
Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything
Main Chat
Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*
Wang Pangzi: I MEAN
HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH
BUT SURE
CUTE I GUESS
Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)
Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.
Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE
NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN
DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID
Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid
Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?
Wu Xie: right
Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH
Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.
Unnamed Chat:
Unknown number: so the curtain…
Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know
Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive
Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out
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Stand Still.
Geto Suguru x F!Reader Angst!
Synopsis: Geto allows his insecurities to take over his mind resulting in him hurting your feelings when you show a little too much interest in Gojo.
Please read the notes at the bottom uwu ❣️
Warnings: ANGST! Swearing???? DIDNT PROOF READ LOL
PT. 2
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌
You stood in the living room you shared with your boyfriend, the usual loving and welcoming atmosphere was no longer there. The reds and oranges you felt when you spent time with him was now replaced with emotions that felt like muggy shades of blues and grays. *
Everything felt like it was slowed down, like you had just witnessed everything in slow motion.
You looked into Geto’s eyes filled to the brim with bewilderment. Chest heaving as the remainder of adrenaline rushed through him. You couldn’t tear your gaze away from him, You've never seen him this worked up. You have never seen him this...mean.
Every last word he spat out was Accusatory. Harsh. Unfiltered. All the words came from a place of insecurity, an insecurity even he didn’t know he had.
It took you a minute to process everything that was said, well rather spat, to you. It was like your mind couldn’t fathom the fact that your sweet boyfriend stood before you in the aftermath of an emotional bomb he just dropped.
You knew this would happen at some point. You knew that relationships came with obstacles that you would have to face together. You knew that, but you were so hopeful that you would be able to talk things through like adults.
You two were always so adamant about communicating, and speaking up when something is bothering you, promising each other to put pride to the side and speak up and compromise on whatever the issue may be.
All it takes is one to fuck it up.
You finally processed what he said to you, the weight of his words crushed you into a million pieces. The heat reached your face and the stinging in your eyes was what made you finally look away.
You plopped down on the couch giving yourself a moment before you looked back up at him.
“I...” You approached with caution as you spoke, afraid he would cut you off as he has been since the argument started. Spewing Words as sharp as a knife not allowing you to get a word in edgewise and raising his voice over your calm one in order to try to get his point across, and oh did he get it across.
“You……..it’s…….Uh….” You lifted a finger up. Silently asking Geto to give you a moment to gather your words. Quickly you looked away ,your tears beginning to flow, not seeming to stop anytime soon. But still, you couldn’t talk, the lump in your throat stopping you, words only coming out in hiccups.
You cursed yourself for not being able to hold them in long enough to explain how you felt about the situation. About his accusations. Cursed yourself for not being able to speak freely, or be upset without looking like a crybaby.
Getos anger diminished the instant he saw the tears roll down your face. His knitted brows relaxed and his eyes softened at the sight of you, shaking as you tried to speak your mind. Unaware of the weight his words had.
He has seen you worked up and upset like this countless times, but never because of him. To say the guilt hit differently was an understatement.
You took a deep and shaky breath and held it for a few seconds. You were quite surprised at the fact that Geto didn’t move or say anything to interrupt you the entire time.
How long have you two been here?
“I tried so hard to avoid this, Suguru..... I looked past my insecurities….pushed the doubts to the side and all of that so you could receive my love without obstacles….without me projecting my fears onto you and the relationship.” You somehow managed to speak shakily of course, voice cracking almost the entire time.
He internally cringed at the formality, the lack of pet names made his heart wrench in pain, reminding him how bad he really messed up.
“And to know that you feel this way about me...and to know that my efforts are evidently not reciprocated...hurts like a mother fucker..”
You covered your mouth, eyes on the wall beside you, still unable to look at him.
“But honestly Geto… what hurts the most is that I already know you could do better…” you rolled your eyes upwards, dropping more tears and shook your head, your own insecurities laying themselves out on the table.
Geto’s eyes widened then immediately his expression turned to a pained one, remembering the words he spat in the heat of the moment. **
‘If I would’ve known that you would turn into Satoru’s little cheerleader, ready to kiss his ass whenever he came around, then I wouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend!! I could’ve and should’ve done wayyy better I swear!’
For someone who was talking so much shit five minutes ago, he found himself at a loss for words.
There was a lump in his throat , and when did his mouth turn dry?
Was it when he recalled the things he said after that? Mentions of how many opportunities he had in the duration of your relationship in order to hit you where it hurt most?
Or was it when he mentioned that ‘Gojo wouldn’t date you anyway’ in attempts to mask the underlying jealousy he had at the very thought of you falling for the man who could quite literally do anything.
Who could have everything.
Who had the world crafted specifically for him.
“and I always wondered…” he snapped out of his thoughts and his brows furrowed once again, creating a displeased look. He was disgusted with himself, disgusted that he selfishly ran his mouth without considering your feelings.
“Like….what I could have possibly done to have been chosen by you? Geto Suguru….chose me? Of all people.” You wiped tears away from your face, you looked so small doing so, Geto wished he was the one wiping those tears, but he couldn’t move. His feet betraying his commands. Knees weak knowing he did this to you.
“And for you to even think that I would betray you and break your trust.” It was your turn to speak now, holding in so much up until this point, however you did not raise your voice, nor did you cause a scene. You loved him way too much for that.
“Geto Suguru, a man the gods have blessed not just with looks but with a heart of gold..dating me? And you think I would throw all of that away to be with your best friend?” You choked on a couple of sobs, continuously wiping your tears away, seriously wondering if you have ever cried this hard in your life.
The fact that you still somehow managed to praise him while scolding him made his blood run cold. Guilt through the roof, enough to make his fingers cold and shake slightly by his sides. A stark contrast compared to his words.
‘What have I done?’
It was no surprise to him that you were still somehow being kind despite your anger. You were kind, not nice. ***
The love was there and he knew it, he felt it. Because if it were anybody else the results would’ve been different.
“I’m...sorry if I make you feel that way...but please know it was not in my intentions to hurt you ..” You finally looked at him while apologizing, you made sure he knew you were being as genuine as possible.
You pushed yourself up from the couch and made your way to the bedroom. Geto’s eyes followed you, but still he couldn’t not move.
‘Move you fucking idiot!’
A Switch in his brain went off as soon as you were out of his sight. He sped walked in your direction, but he was a little too late. You locked the door behind you just before he was able to put himself in between the door.
“Y/n! Please let me in! I’m sorry!” The knob shook as he tried the door. He knew it would be locked but he’d be damned to let you go through this alone. He already did enough damage, he was determined to at least try and fix this.
The knob shook harder and soon the whole door shook. He slammed his hands against the wood and called out your name desperately begging you to let him in.
You ignored the cries to the best of your abilities, stepping away from the door. The sounds of his voice begging for you made you want to throw up, it hurt so much.
“Y/n please...I just want to talk..” his voice cracked and you began to sob quietly just at the mere sound. You wanted to open the door, you really really did, but at the same time you didn’t want to see him.
He was adamant though. He could hear you try to muffle the sobs on the other side and that’s what put him into overdrive.
“Move away from the door!” He commanded, kicking it down easily, startling you in the process. Thankfully he gave you time to step away before doing so, and his heart broke again at the sight of you.
Your eyes were dull but still streaming tears, but the duffle bag slung over your shoulder full of your items made him feel so powerless.
“Hey hey hey……what are you doing..” his eyes desperately scanned your figure, moving from the bag to your eyes then to the room, noticing drawers were left open and things tossed around the bed.
“...W-Where are you going…?” His voice was small but he stood his ground in the doorway, blocking the exit unintentionally but intentionally.
You didn’t look at him, but more so past him. Your eyes were on him but they weren’t on him.
“I’m going home for a little bit, until I’m-“
“What do you mean? Home..is here..”he cut you off. Again his voice was small, not matching with his towering form that slowly began to deflate when he noticed how the love in your eyes was nowhere to be found.
You sighed and placed a hand on your temple. He cut you off again, and you didn’t want to do this anymore. You didn’t want to fight him anymore.
“Suguru. You know what I mean. I’m going to my paren-“
“No!” He yelled, causing you to flinch. “You’re not leaving me!” Geto snatched the bag from your grasp and unzipped the bag, he made his way into the room and dumped the contents into an already opened drawer, a majority of the clothes and items dropping to the floor but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to lose you.
His breathing was heavy again, and tears threatened to drop. Oh how you wished you hadn’t seen the way his eyes looked at you.
“Suguru...please…” you cautiously approached the bag he flung on the bed, and repacked the bag slowly, afraid of him snapping again.
“Can we Please just talk about this?” He forcefully grabbed you by the forearms, pulling you away from the duffle bag and pushed you up against a wall, not in a harsh way, but in a way that felt desperate.
“Please let me explain myself, I didn’t mean anything I said I-“ he tried spilling out what he had to say before you tried pushing him away, but now it was his turn to be interrupted.
“I know, Suguru…I know..but before we talk about this...I really need to clear my head..Otherwise I won’t be able to do things in a rational way...and you know I can’t do that if I have you around to influence my thoughts.”
Your eyes searched for his and you regretted it, you were feeling so many things but your eyes held no emotion. However, seeing the way he looked down at you, hair messy and in his face from going awol earlier, his face flushed from the raw display of emotion brought life back into your eyes.
Tears dropped on your cheeks when you looked up at him. That was enough to get the waterworks going again.
He never realized how afraid he was of losing you until now. It never occurred to him that this would even be something to happen in your relationship until this very moment.
He realized how much he fucked up, allowing his emotions to have snowballed into this big ass mess. You were always so open to talk about things, but he never took the opportunity because of his pride, and now the consequences of his actions are coming to bite him in the ass.
“I gotta go..” you whispered and easily got out of his grasp, he didn’t fight back, he knew he couldn’t change your mind once you had your mind set on doing something. Another reason he fell in love with you , another wave of regret.
He watched your form as you left, eyes never leaving your body.
You didn't look back and that was a sight that would haunt him in his dreams forever.
—————
**** notes:
* - in the paragraph where it talks about feeling colors
When I think of memories and how I felt, I associate them with colors, reds oranges, pinks, yellows green = warm/ happier memories
Shades of blue = cold, more depressive moments
So when it talks about y/n feeling the blue, gray atmosphere, it’s because the tension was so thick, the usual ‘red’ atmosphere was now ‘blue’ at the flip of a switch.
Lol super self indulgent
**- this fic is so self indulgent, I do this. Well used to, but when I used to get mad and things would get heated I won’t remember what I said or what I did because I was so upset.
***- to me, Being nice is superficial and being Kind comes from within.
——-
Hello! Welcome to my new blog!
I was GOJOSGLASSES
But something happened to my account and I think I’m being shadowed and I’m sooo sad cause I had a whole theme and master list (a short one but still) now I have to start over )^:
Anywho! Welcome! Requests are open and hopefully I’ll get around to moving the fics here or maybe just linking old ones but I think I may transfer them over here )^: big sad!
—————
Hello babies! Thank you for taking the time to read this!
This fic is super super self indulgent
I love Angst so much. I don’t know why LOL
Of course this is an Angst to fluff type stuff and I’ll get to part 2. When I feel like it
(Or if it’s highly requested) but I just felt like being extra dramatic.
Also LOLOLOL I love angst but please don’t leave your partner in the dark like this, communicate please. I’m just being extra dramatic because I love hurting myself with fics.
BAHAHA Also this Drabble thing was inspired by the song:
Stand Still - Sabrina Claudio
Very angsty and I feel like I’ll make more drabbles and stuff based off this song because I love love love it so much omg very sensual very sexy!
Thanks for reading!
#drabbles#fanfic#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk geto#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x y/n#geto suguru#geto x reader#suguru x reader#saturo gojo
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Thoughts on the SK8 The Infinity Episode 12
So the final episode just aired. And I’m having majoorrr mixed feelings.
This show was truly something that kept me going, with it’s story, animation and the whole found family thing. I have loved this show from the beginning and I will till the end.
But as a lot of people in the fandom I do have some strong opinions on the finale
First off, I just want to say that everyone is allowed to have their own opinion but please do not send hate or any negative energy to studio Bones and Hiroko Utsumi. They have worked incredibly hard on this series. In fact I put them on a pedestal for giving us something so poignant and wonderful during such trying times. I looked forward every Saturday to watch the new episode and that feeling, that rush while watching it, never changed throughout the show’s run!!
Now on to my thoughts on the finale.
1. Shipping
I saw many people in the fandom criticizing the studio for queerbaiting. Now I can definitely not give an accurate perspective on this, as I am not part of the LGBTQIA community, though I am a strong ally.
Let’s talk about the main ships: Renga and Matchablossom
Renga: In my opinion they’re pretty much canon. All the hints, the loving looks, Langa jumping to hug Reki, Langa basically saying Reki is his happiness, Reki wanting to skate beside Langa (Infinitely). In my eyes, they’re canon.
Of course it would’ve been amazing to have a canon queer relationship, but we have no idea what happens behind closed doors. The rules in Japan, unfortunately are totally different from other progressive countries. As someone who lives in a country where they just decriminalized gay marriage, seeing canon queer relationships is honestly rare.
I think they did whatever they could to show that Renga is canon.
I mean come on, Langa basically said he liked Reki in episode 8
I think it would be very very cool and progressive to have a them outwardly admit to it, but we know both these dumbasses never finish their sentences. lol
I’m happy with the way their relationship evolved.
Matchablossom: I honestly can’t give a clear reasoning to this, because personally I don’t ship them. But the thing is, they could be canon, who knows?
I mean everyone was talking about how Joe went out with 2 girls in the end sequence and because of that they aren’t canon. But by that logic we couldn’t ship them from the beginning, since Joe kissed girls in the first episode.
I mean I totally headcanon that Joe is a bisexual king, so that means he could be hanging out them girls while still majorly crushing on Cherry.
Who knows, maybe Joe brought the girls to Cherry’s signing on purpose to make him jealous. Lol
Let your imagination run wild, people. It’s up to your own perspective. I personally don’t ship them, but I don’t think it’s queerbaiting when you pretty much have several hints to them caring deeply (love) about each other.
2. Story
This is where the critiquing comes.
One of the main reasons why I loved and still love Sk8 was one, obviously because of Renga and two because I absolutely loved the story.
From eps 1-11 the story was so compelling and written in such a fantastic way. Every week I’d have some assumptions and every time it would completely blow my mind.
In particular ep 10. When I originally saw the title “Dap not needing words” I was so worried.
They need to talk, they have to communicate. But wow, that episode was just phenomenal, if you guys want me to make a review on each episode I would be happy to, I have so much to say.
Sure, ep 10,11 was wayyy too rushed, but I just know it’s because they had to fit a lot of story in such a little time period. If they had maybe 24 episodes, they would’ve knocked it out of the park.
Either way I had no complaints.
My issue with ep 12 is the beef: Adam Vs Snow
I thought animation wise and as a beef it was really impactful (similar to Reki Vs Adam)
But why God, why did they give Adam a redemption
I’m sorry but he doesn’t deserve it.
I knew for a fact that as much as I wanted Adam to go to jail (so badly), I knew it wouldn’t happen. That was just not possible (in my eyes). I thought they would take a page from Fugou Keiji: Balance Unlimited, where his family (those evil ass aunts) and send them to jail (for clear mental, physical abuse and who knows what else), and Adam would go in isolation somewhere.
There he could properly heal from his trauma and abuse, work through it, heal his relationship with Tadashi and just work to be better.
There was a part of me that expected the show to end with a typical “oh we’re all friends and everything is forgiven” bullshit and I prayyedd that wouldn’t happen
But boy was I wrong
Why did they try to sympathize with him?!?
I get it, he’s clearly had severe trauma and abuse, and he uses skateboarding and entering the “zone” to get away from his terrible reality.
But why did they have Langa say this to him??
“Skating is fun because you can do it with your friends!”
It’s sweet that he’s trying to teach Adam what Reki taught him, but this implies that Adam is his friend. Or atleast that’s what he wants
“hey, you’re a crazy monster and you assaulted my friends (boyfriend), but I still wanna skate with you, cause it’s fun with friends”
I’m sorry, in what universe is this.. your friend?
Your actual friend, Langa, who taught you everything you know, who’s been with you from the start, he has been attacked and traumatized multiple times by Adam. Not to mention several other people.
I could’ve accepted it if they used the line
“Don’t ever end up on your own”
That makes more sense in this context, it’s like saying “hey you evil monster, you’re crazy but don’t end up alone, treasure the people in your life”
I think that implies more on the sense that Adam has to figure shit out on his own, by himself. Not with Langa and the people he’s assaulted.
Then it would make atleast a bit more sense to heal Tadashi and Adam’s relationship.
You just cannot build up a character like Adam, for 12 episodes and then completely forgo that for the sake of “friendship”, that just makes no sense
Not to mention, Kirako the detective, the fact that she worked so hard and got absolutely nothing, is preposterous.
That whole thing put a really bad taste in my mouth.
Also, during the beef, like I mentioned, Langa basically implies that they should have fun because they’re skating with friends.
This basically just throws out Langa’s friendship with Reki.
I mean Reki was so badly hurt and injured after their beef, both the times.
Yes, he did have a lot of fun and that was the point of ep 10, 11 to show Reki that he didn’t have to skate to be the best (like no one ever wass.. dun dun dun. If you know that reference, here’s a chocolate) he skated to have fun(even though in my eyes, he’s the best)
Ep 12 was that arc for Langa, for him to realize he also skated to have fun.
But when you’re condoning and encouraging Adam, idkk.. it just rubbed me the wrong way.
I didn’t like it at all. They made him into a gag character in the end scene, which is literally the opposite of what he’s been pictured for the past 11 episodes.
3. Side characters
Shadow did not deserve that in any way whatsover.
He was completely glossed over. I thought his injury would be a pivotal plot point for improving his relationship with the manager, but they just used it as a way to remove him from the tournament
Tadashi, babyy, that’s Stockholm syndrome
When I saw that dog comment:
Godd... he deserves so muchhh moree..
So, overall the finale, honestly disappointed me. But my love for sk8 is everlasting and the finale will never change that
4. Future
Hopefully, and I pray for this
A season 2, movie, OVA or anything tbh.
There’s so much potential
Reki and Langa go to Canada, they visit Oliver’s grave, Langa teaches Reki snowboarding
Kirako finally arresting Adam
Tadashi becoming true friends with Langa, Reki and the gang
Shadow getting the love he deserves
Matchablossom canon
Renga canon
Miya getting the apology he deserves
But whatever it is, Sk8 the Infinity owns my heart and I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.
Other than reading Renga fanfiction
#sk8 the infinity#sk8#renga#hasegawa langa#kyan reki#sk8 langa#sk8 reki#adam#matchblossom#cherry blossom#joe#sk8 cherry x joe#sk8 cherry blossom#what is my life now#its incomplete
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Cinnamon Rolls and Pumpkin Spice
AN: Hi babies! So I am obsessed with Fall and I want to do this with someone eventually because I’m v lonely and want to express my hopeless romantic side to literally everyone on the Internet lol and I chose the song because this is literally one of my favorite songs ever and I feel like it fits so well with this!! Please request things my lovelies!
Summary: Matthew just wants to spend his one day off with Y/N
Song: I Remember You by Seth MacFarlane
Warnings: Extreme fluff, like might make you puke glitter kinda fluff
Word Count: 1974 (kinda small but still)
October is one of Matthew’s favorite months. He loved the smell of the fresh fall air, the crunchy leaves under his feet, Halloween, and just the overall aesthetic of the season. He also enjoyed the cooler temperatures only because that meant more snuggles from his girl. It’s been hard recently due to filming movies and working on his new book, but you were so understanding of it all. That’s what Matthew adored about you.
You knew that with dating an actor, he’d be away filming movies or tv shows, doing what he loves. That’s what you admired about Matthew. He was so passionate about his work and took pride in everything he did. You were so proud of him and everything he accomplished. Not to say he wasn’t proud of you either. You had been attending college and you’ve been working so hard with your course work.
One of the props to days like this is that both you and Matthew had the day off together. You both had been working so hard and definitely deserved a break. It was also very rare that the two of you had days off together. Usually, it would alternate which made it hard to see each other throughout the day but you two always made time in the evening to catch up and talk about how the day went.
Matthew woke up to the warm feeling of the Fall sun beaming through the shared bedroom. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he turned over to you. A smile graced his face as he saw you asleep next to him. He ran his fingers over your cheek as he admired your features. He noticed how your mouth was slightly opened as you breathed in and out. Your hair was a messy due to tossing and turning, dreaming sweet dreams. The blankets covered you comfortably, making you look like a cute little burrito.
Matthew could feel his heart expand and he studied you. Your eyes soon flutter open to be met with his chocolate brown eyes. You smile and snuggle closer to him, feeling his body heat take over you.
“Good morning, Darling.” Matthew whispered, kissing your head.
“Good morning, my love.” You smiled.
You glanced up at the man you are so lucky to call your boyfriend and begin to play with his hair. He chuckles as you continue to tamper with the growing locks that you’ve come to adore oh so much.
You and Matthew have been dating for almost two years now, which was a huge accomplishment on your end because you weren’t really into the dating scene. He was actually the first person in a long time to have you even consider dating. It was almost love at first sight. the two of you have pretty much been inseparable since.
Matthew kissed your lips sweetly as you snuggled into his neck.
“So, what’re our plans today lovie? You choose.” You said as you ran your fingers up and down his chest.
Matthew sighed contently and thought about the one thing he’d want to do. His smile began to break through as he looked down at you with gleaming eyes. You raised an eyebrow as he bit into his lip.
“If you want my honest answer, I really just want to stay home with you. maybe we can bake up some stuff and watch a movie! We haven’t really had a day where we just stayed home and relaxed with each other, think we may be long overdue for that.” Matthew grinned.
You beamed at the idea.
He wasn’t wrong. The two of you never really had an at home day. Either you were at school or the library and Matthew was out doing actor stuff. It wasn’t easy and sometimes, it became very stressful on you both. An R&R (rest and relaxation) day is just what the Doctor ordered.
“Okay! Do you want breakfast?” You asked as you shot out of bed.
Matthew chuckled at your enthusiasm, moving over and planting his feet on the floor.
“That doesn’t sound bad. But if I can be frank, we do have pancakes and eggs often, can I make a new suggestion?” He asked.
“Of course baby, I never mind switching things up.” You winked.
Matthew smirked back at you as he stood up and stretched out his lanky limbs.
“How about Cinnamon Rolls? My mom could text me her recipe and we can make them ourselves!” he said as he made his way to you.
You giggled as you took his hand and led the way downstairs into your shared kitchen. You and Matthew have been living together for about three months now and you couldn’t be happier. He had asked while you were having lunch together at a little Bistro down the block from your college. Your heart had filled with so much love that you squealed in the middle of the small café, causing customers to stare at you two. Since then, you’ve made his snug little home into yours.
Matthew was awaiting the text from his mom while you began to make some pumpkin spice coffee. It was one of your favorite flavors, and with how the weather was, it only made sense to divulge into the sweet flavored coffee. Matthew chuckled at your choice of drink. He didn’t mind the flavor but it wasn’t his favorite. However, he knew how you felt about it, so he never even tried to poke fun at it.
“Ya know what movie you wanna watch?” He asked, looking up from his phone.
“I know it’s super corny, but The Nightmare Before Christmas. I haven’t seen it in a while.” You said as you finished making your coffee.
You took a sip of the warm liquid and sighed happily. Matthew smiled. His phone soon binged, signaling that his mother had responded with the recipe for her famous Cinnamon Rolls. Matthew handed the phone to you. You looked at the recipe and began to grab the ingredients. You began to follow the steps to create the delicious pastry. Matthew watched with attentive, loving eyes.
Matthew had been thinking about your futures together. He knew he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life, he just wasn’t sure how or when he should do it. All of his friends pushed him to ask, hell even his older sister was wanting them to tie the damn knot. He just wasn't sure when was the right time.
You slipped the freshly twisted cinnamon rolls in the oven. You cleaned up a bit and went back to sipping your coffee.
“Do you think they’ll be as good as your mom’s?” You asked.
“Of course they will, darling. Your cooking is amazing!” Matthew boasted.
“Well thank you, lovie. I greatly appreciate it.” You smiled.
Matthew leaned over the counter and pecked your lips softly. You softly placed your hand on his cheek after he pulled away and studied his features. His deep brown eyes were something you could get lost in. He had the cutest little button nose, and his full lips were a dream that you so enjoyed on yours. In your eyes, he is the most perfect human, your perfect human.
“You know what we need? Some music!” You squealed.
You turned to your phone and searched for the song that you and Matthew immensely enjoyed. You typed in I Remember You sung by Seth Macfarlane. Matthew broke into a smile as the sweet song began to play through the speakers.
Was it in Tahiti?
Were we on the Nile?
Long, long ago
Say an hour or so
I recall that I saw your smile
You grinned as you slowly swayed to the song. The warm feeling took over you as the song continued.
I remember you
You're the one who made
My dreams come true
A few kisses ago
Matthew made his way over to you, his arms wrapping around your waist and carefully taking your delicate hand in his. The two of you began to slow dance in your kitchen, the smell of cinnamon rolls and pumpkin spice engulfing the both of you and the sound of Jazz music taking control of the sweet moment.
The song continued to play as you danced.
I remember you
You're the one who said
"I love you, too," I do
Didn't you know?
I remember, too
A distant bell
And stars that fell like rain
Out of the blue
You rested your head on Matthew’s shoulder, the smell of bergamot, mahogany, and patchouli taking over your sense. You loved the way he smelled. It was warm and welcoming. He kissed your head as he spun you around the tiled floor.
When my life is through
And the angels ask me to recall
The thrill of them all
Then I shall tell them
I remember you
Just as the song ended, the oven beeped for the cinnamon rolls, indicating that the pastries were done. You parted with Matthew, grabbing the oven mitt and pulling the cinnamon rolls out. As they cooled, you made the delicious frosting to top off the pastries. Once you were finished with it, you poured the frosting on the cinnamon rolls and quickly cleaned up. Matthew helped himself to one and moaned at the taste of it.
“Oh my god babe. These are amazing!” Matthew complimented as he took another bite.
You giggled and grabbed a cinnamon roll for yourself, taking a bite of the warm pastry.
“Come on, let’s get the movie started.” You perked, taking his hand and leading him to the living room.
Matthew grabbed the remote and got the movie started. The opening scene to the movie gave you goosebumps as you sang along. Matthew joined you, the two of you giggling once the song was over.
The final scene came quicker than you thought it would’ve. This scene topped every other in the movie. You were singing along with Jack and Sally, a smile breaking out on your face
My dearest friend,
If you don't mind
I'd like to join you by your side
Matthew quietly joined in as he watched you.
Where we could gaze into the stars
And sit together now and forever
For it is plain as anyone could see
We're simply meant to be
The scene ended with the famous Jack and Sally kiss. You looked over to see Matthew staring at you with slight tears in his eyes.
“Lovie, what’s wrong?” You questioned, scooting closer to him.
“I love you so much Y/N. I really, really do. I didn’t think I’d be able to love anyone as much as I love you and I think today solidified my thoughts and feelings.” He gazed as you played with his hair.
Matthew then proceeded to get down on one knee and your breath got caught in your throat.
“Y/N, I don’t have a ring right now but today with dancing with you and just being with you, I know that I want days like this for the rest of my life. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Matthew smiled as he sniffled.
Tears ran down your cheek as you nodded quickly. You kissed him passionately. Tears both staining your faces as you shared the kiss. He pulled away and looked into your eyes as he held yours hands.
“Sorry, I didn’t really plan this out all that well. I just couldn’t wait.” He whispered.
You sniffled and played with his hair.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You smiled.
Matthew grinned and kissed you again.
From here on out, Matthew wasn’t your boyfriend, he was your fiancé.
#Matthew Gray Gubler#matthew gray gubler fanfiction#matthew gray gubler smut#matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler fluff#spencer reid#dr. spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction
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