#i knew it was the most obvious change bc people keep commenting on it (i either get ''are you sick?'' or ''dam u sound sexy'')
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jesus christ i just compared a video of me talking today vs a video of me talking before i started t and i am UNRECOGNISABLE
#i knew it was the most obvious change bc people keep commenting on it (i either get ''are you sick?'' or ''dam u sound sexy'')#but i didnt realise HOW big it was
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Stress Reliever
Pairing: Fem!Reader x Chishiya (Alice in Borderland)
Summary: When y/n first meets Chishiya, she does not like him. However, when they are forced to become roommates at the beach, her opinion slowly starts to change. When Chishiya has a suggestion on how to manage stress, y/n can’t help but be intrigued. Ignore the boring ass title I could not think of anything better
Word Count: 2.9k
Warnings: Readers skin and hair color/texture not specified, not proof read, teasing, eye contact, fingering, p in v sex, cream pie. Tried to keep Chishiya in character (bc I think he would be such a tease and lil shit but in a sexy way) but if he’s ooc oopsies MDNI
“What are you doing here?” You huffed, standing in the doorway of your new room. Or what was supposed to be your room. So why the hell was Chishiya of all people already there.
“I knew you’d find your way here eventually,” he replied, ignoring your question. The ‘here’ was the beach compound. You’d heard whispers of the place since you started playing and finally found it. It was exactly what you expected - though you weren’t sure what you expected in the first place - but you agreed to join. Not that you really had much of a choice once the caught you lurking around the place.
“You didn’t answer my question,” you pressed.
Chishiya rolled his eyes. “Seemed too obvious a question to answer. I live here.”
You scowled. “But I was assigned to this room.” You doubled checked the room number you were given and the one on the door. You were in the right place.
“Guess that makes us roommates then,” Chishiya replied, stretching lazily. His indifference grated your nerves.
“But you’re a guy.”
Chishiya snorted with laughter. “We’re in a lawless land playing life or death games and you think people care about rooms being coed?” You didn’t want to admit that it was pretty stupid to care about that, so you just grumbled a ‘whatever’ and shut the door behind you.
You truly could not believe the odds that you would end up with him as a roommate. You met Chishiya in one of your first games, which happened to be a game of wits. Unfortunately, most of your competitors were lacking in that department, which led to their demise. You, however, figured it out quickly, which Chishiya took note of.
He made some comment about being surprised someone was able to get it, which you took as a condescending crack. You’d been watching him since the start of the game, noting how calm he was. Almost to the point of smugness. The comment, you felt, confirmed your initial impression.
Little did you know that Chishiya was also watching you, (though he does watch everybody) taking an interest in you. You were much more calm than anyone else in the calm, save for him. He was also impressed with your cleverness, seeing through the trick of the game almost as quickly as he did. Almost.
You’d played only one other game with him after that, which you left you feeling the same way: he was a smug know it all. He had tried to engage in casual conversation with you, but you brushed him off. You weren’t looking to get close to people in these games. You’d seem first hand how they would pit people together and tear them apart. You didn’t need anymore emotional turmoil. Besides, you could definitely see the two of you clashing, what with his attitude.
Chishiya, however, was draw to your attitude. He appreciated your intelligence of course, since far too many people seemed to lack it around here. But he liked that you challenged him, he even liked when you rolled your eyes or scowled at him. The more you tried to push him away, the more he felt the desire to get close to you. To break down those walls and get to know more about you.
“You better not be a shitty roommate,” you stated, sitting down on the bed adjacent to his. It was the comfiest thing you sat on in weeks.
“Oh don't worry,” he smiled, “I’m an angel.”
You wouldn’t go as far as to call him an angel, but you couldn’t deny that Chishiya was a good roommate. He didn’t go out partying and drinking like everyone else here, nor did he ever leave a mess. You still found him to be a bit smug at times, but your stance on him softened a bit as yo got to know him. Though your pride was preventing you from showing it that much.
Your visas often expired at similar times, leading you two to playing a lot more games together. You couldn’t deny that you felt safe with Chishiya being there. Well at least as safe as one could be in these games. The two of you silently formed an alliance and looked out for each other. You never let yourself get complacent, but having Chishiya around always made you feel that, no matter the odds, you would clear the game.
Something that you couldn’t understand, though, was just how calm was. You prided yourself on being able to keep yourself calm during the games, but you still very much felt the stress. Chishiya, however, was on another level. He seemed bored, as if you were just playing for fun and not your lives. It was almost unnerving.
After a particularly difficult game, you couldn't resist asking him about when you got back to your room. “How do you do it?”
“Hmm? Do what?” Chishiya asked from his bed.
“Stay so calm. It’s... spooky,” you replied. You laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling.
Chishiya let out a huff of laughter. “You look pretty calm yourself.”
“Yeah I look calm, but it takes a lot of work to stay that way. It doesn’t seem to bother you at all,” you replied.
Chishiya smirked. “I didn’t know you were watching me so closely.” Actually he did, but he’d keep that to himself for now.
“You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing?”
“That thing where you deflect instead of just answering.”
Chishiya made a noise of amusement. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t really have an answer. I can’t change my circumstances, I don't see the point of freaking out about it.”
You sighed. As if it was that simple. “If I wasn’t your roommate, I’d be convinced you were an alien or a robot or something. I’m not fully convinced you don’t have to plug yourself in to charge up while I’m sleeping.”
Chishiya laughed, but said in earnest. “I am human, I can promise you that.” A silence fell between the two of you after that. You were often quiet together; it was one of the things you did appreciate about him. This silence, however, felt charged in a way you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
After some time, Chishiya spoke again. “You knew, there is a pretty effective way to destress.”
“What’s that?”
“Sex.”
Your head whipped around to him. You couldn’t have heard that right. “Sex?”
Chishiya smirked at your astonishment. “Yeah, sex. You know what that is right? Don’t tell me you’re a virgin,” he teased.
Your cheeks burned. “I am not a virgin,” you replied and immediately regretted it. It was true, but that absolutely sounded like something a virgin would say. It only made Chishiya laugh harder. “Oh shut up,” you grumbled, tossing a pillow at him.
“Someone’s testy.”
“So what? That’s your secret?” you questioned, “You just go around fucking people?” You couldn’t imagine how he had time for that. He never brought anyone to your room, thank god, and was never out for long.
“No,” Chishiya snorted, “I haven’t slept with anyone since coming here. I was just pointing out a fact. Sex helps with stress.”
Talking about sex with Chishiya was naturally making your brain think about having sex with Chishiya and that made your body react in a way you weren't expecting. You were flushed, feeling a prickle of desire. God were you really so stressed that you were lusting after him?
Sensing your hesitation, Chishiya continued. “I didn’t think I would have to spell it out for you, but it was almost an invitation.” You looked bewildered, which amused him. “Come here.”
Despite your hesitations, you followed his instruction. Chishiya sat at the edge of his bed and you stood between his legs. He looked up and down your body with a lopsided grin. You had grown accustomed to having to wear a bikini at all times at the beach; it was nothing new for him to see you like this. Yet, you felt so exposed under his gaze. You almost moved to cover yourself, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
Chishiya’s hands found the back of your thighs, ghosting across your skin. “You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” His voice was just above a whisper. One hand started to toy with your bikini bottom string. You held your breath as his eyes flicked up to yours. “Thought about me fucking you? You want it, don’t you?”
Your heard was quickened the longer his hands were on you. It felt so good to be touched by someone else in such a gentle way. That combined with his words was making you almost dizzy. “Seems like you’ve thought about,” you replied.
Chishiya yanked you forward by the back of your legs, making you fall into his lap. You legs landed on either side of his hips, leaving you straddling him. His face was closer yours now, the eye contact making your insides curl. “You’re that thing,” he teased, calling back to the comment you made. His hand was on the back of your neck now and you found yourself drifting impossibly closer to him. “But I’m not afraid to admit when I want someone thing.” His thumb brushed over your lower lip, making you let out a shaky breath. “So tell me, y/n, do you want me, too?”
You let go of the breath you were holding. “Yes.” Chishiya smirked triumphantly. He started to lean and you followed. Your lips were just a millimeter apart when he pulled back just to laugh at the frustrated look on your face.
You scowled. “Assho-”
His lips connected to yours before you could finish. God he was a good kisser. His lips moved against yours perfectly, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease. Your body reacted so quickly to him, aching with desire. The need for more.
Chishiya sensed it, smirking into the kiss. His hands trailed up your back, finding the string of your bikini top. He undid the knot, tossing it to the side. He squeezed your tits as your kissed, pinching your nipples to make you gasp. You pushed his sweatshirt off his body, before yanking his shirt off.
“Mmm, someone’s eager, huh?” He commented.
“Shut up.”
In a flash you were flipped over and caged in by Chishiya’s body. “You’re not in the position to be telling me to shut up.” You narrowed your eyes at him, which made the corner of his lip curl up. You had to admit, him on top of you was a nice view.
You threaded your fingers through his blond locks, pulling him back in. His chest was pressed completely against yours. The weight of him and the warmth of his skin on yours soothed a nagging deep inside you. You wanted him closer. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him in. You rolled your hips up to meet his, grinding against him. A soft moan slipped from his slips, giving you a sense of satisfaction.
Chishiya’s hand came down, pressing your hips back into the mattress. You were about to huff in protest, but stopped when he started toying with the strings on the side of your bikini. He kept his lips on yours as he worked. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation while slowly, so slowly, pulled the knot undone. Instead of taking it off right away, he traced the line of where your bikini met your lower stomach to your other hip. His feather light touch gave you goosebumps.
He repeated his actions on the other side. You were buzzing with anticipation for him to pull the bottoms off you. Of course, he didn't right away. He just continued to kiss you, his fingers ghosting of your lower stomach, inner thighs.
“Stop being a fuck tease,” you grumbled.
“Oh? And what would you like me to do, y/n?” Chishiya mused. His eyes were locked on yours as he continued to let his fingers dance over your skin. You lost a bit of your nerve under his stare.
“You know what I want.”
Chishiya smirked. “I’m not a mind reader.”
You groaned. “Touch me! Finger me- fuck do something!”
He chuckled, hooking his finger into the fabric, but not pulling it down. “A please would be nice.”
You were too desperate to fight. He was so close, yet so far from touching you. You couldn’t stand it. “Please.”
“Good girl.” He pulled the bikini off of you completely. His eyes scanned your naked body, making you feel shy under his critical stare. Still, you refused to show it and let him have his look. “Pretty.” His finger slid through your wetness, making you gasp. “And soaked. Didn’t know you wanted me that bad.”
“Are you gonna do something or just talk all day?” you snapped. Chishiya didn’t challenged your remark, instead he slid a finger inside you. You let out a content sigh as he curled it, easily finding that spot inside you that made you weak. He licked and sucked at your breasts as he worked his fingers over you. He was more skilled than you cared to admit, easily making the curl of pleasure in your lower stomach.
Chishiya played with your clit, rolling and pinching it, noting how each different move made you react. He slid a second finger inside you, stretching you and pumping faster. He loved how squirmed, how your chest heaved with ragged, pleasured breaths. He kept a neutrally smug look on his face, but internally his composure wavered. He wanted to know how your pussy would feel squeezing his cock instead of his fingers.
“Fuck, Chishiya, don’t stop,” you moaned. It had been so long since you felt this good. Chishiya rolled your clit just as you liked, sending you over the edge. He sat up so he could watch as you cum. He loved how your head fell back with pleasure, the sweet sounds that escaped you, the way your body fully submitted to his touch.
“You look good like that,” he teased as you caught your breath. He got himself out of his shorts, your cheeks flushing at the sight of his naked body. He was bigger than you thought he would be, thicker too. “You realize you’re staring, right?”
You went red and mumbled, “Sorry.”
Chishiya laughed at you. “That's alright, I like when you watch me.” He grabbed the back of your thighs and yanked you closer to him. “I see you doing it all the time, you know.” He let his tip slide through your slick pussy lips. If you were so distracted by that, you may have been more embarrassed by his words. “I like it a lot. So I want you to watch while I fuck you.” He pressed his tip into your throbbing hole, but didn’t go any further. He leaned over, getting his face closer to yours. His voice dropped to a whisper.“You’re gonna look me in the eye when I make you cum, got it?”
You were barely audible when your replied, “Yes.” You liked him like this. Suddenly his smugness wasn’t annoying, rather it was an aphrodisiac. His demeanor, his voice, his stare, all of it just made you want him more.
Chishiya kept his eyes on yours as he slowly pushed into you, allowing you both to enjoy every inch. You sighed at the sweet stretch he have you, loving the feeling of being so full. Chishiya gripped your hips as he thrust into you. He was right, you felt even better wrapped around him like this. “Feels fucking amazing.”
He fucked into you with ease, each long, deep thrust making your head spin. You couldn’t believe how good he was, it almost wasn't fair. His cock hit that sweet spot inside you, making you gasp. “Please Chishiya,” you begged, not even sure what you were asking for.
“Feels good, huh?” he questioned, his thumb finding your clit. He rubbed circles over the sensitive bud. Your eyes screwed shut as the pleasure almost went over to overstimulation. “Look at me, y/n. Let me see you cum.” You forced your eyes open upon his demand. Making eye contact with him made everything feel more intense. Within moments that knot of pleasure inside you snapped, spreading a warm surge of pleasure all over your body.
“Fuc-nngh ‘Shiya!”
Chishiya couldn’t hold on with your pussy squeezing him like a vice while you moaned his name like that. His hips stuttered as he let out a low groan of your name mixed with curses. He fucked you slow and deep, letting you both savor it.
When you both finally finished, he laid himself down next you. You felt compelled to curl into him, not wanting to be without his warmth. For a second you were afraid you made a mistake, but then his arm wrapped around you and pulled you on to his chest. It was the first time you felt soothed since entering the games.
“I hate to admit it, but you were right. I feel less stressed,” you said.
“I love when you admit I’m right,” Chishiya mused, running his fingers along your spine. “While you’re in a good mood, I have a confession to make.”
“What?”
“I arranged for us to share a room here.”
If he had told you that a week ago, you may have been annoyed. But now? “I have a confession, too. I’m glad you did.”
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😒 💀 👻 👀 💩 for Georgia + one oc of your choice
thank you bo !! georgia + allison bc they're og babygirls
get to know people in my oc's life
😒 …someone my muse hates.
The obvious answer for Georgia is Kellogg. Not a very interesting answer, but she hates the guy more than she's ever hated anything. Vault-Tec may have changed the trajectory of her life forever via cryo, but Kellogg tore it apart in front of her & inflicted so much trauma. We're getting closer to her fight with him in BLP & I am so excited lmao.
Allison hates Cullen with a passion. His "mages aren't people like you and me" comment pushed what would have been regular hatred of a templar into burning rage. She doesn't wanna be the exception. Being a mage is who she is & she's still a person despite it. When she visits Skyhold later on she definitely brings it up in front of the Inquisitor & the rest of their advisors, just to be petty.
💀 …someone my muse would kill for.
Without a doubt Georgia would & has killed for her son. The first time it was Kellogg, before she knew Shaun grew up & eventually figured out the ten year old she saw in his memories & inside the Institute was a synth. Even after she takes in synth!Shaun, by the end of the game she's already sold herself as the kind of person who wants to make the world a safer place for her family by any means.
Allison is kind of in the same boat--she's killed for family & for friends. She values her relationships to the rest of the Kirkwall crew highly & like. All of their personal quests involve some sort of killing lmao. She killed people in pursuit of her baby brother when he got nabbed. Allison repeatedly & willingly puts herself on the line for those she loves.
👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend.
Georgia's bestie is a hard tie between Preston & Piper. Preston was there from the beginning & they leaned on each other a lot in the early days after she left the vault. He taught her the basics of surviving in the new world she found herself in & she served as inspiration to keep going for him. He's her right hand man & she probably trusts him the most out of all of her companions. Piper serves best as a friend Georgia can chill out & gossip with, the kind of friend she sorely needed before the bombs. Piper is funny & loud & unafraid to be herself or express her opinions & Georgia truly admires that about her.
Allison's best friend is, of course, Varric. He talks about her like she hung the moon & Allison made him the fucking godfather of her child. She loves the man like family. Besides Varric, though, since he's the obvious choice, I think her next best friend would be Isabela. She's the most chill out of all the companions & the best at providing a break when Allison needs one. She also loves hearing about Bela's time at sea :)
👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust.
Georgia likes Deacon but doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him (on account of the fact that he was technically stalking her even if it was for "the greater good"). She thinks he's funny & likes hanging out with him on Railroad stuff, but she basically treats him like a coworker.
Allison likes but does not trust Sebastian. Tbh I haven't really played much with him all that much but even if I did, his (admittedly somewhat understandable) reaction at the end of Act 3 would be her cut off point. Threaten her lover like that after years of being friends with her? You're done lmao. Post-DA2 Allison sees Sebastian as former friend but now a distant threat (distant so long as she & Anders can keep safe in hiding).
💩 …someone my muse dislikes, but admires.
Georgia & Cait don't get along very well due to opposing personalities & morals, but Georgia does admire her! Cait is everything Georgia isn't: tough, strong, & doesn't fall to social pressures. Georgia sees traits in Cait that she wishes came easier to her & in a way she's kind of jealous.
Allison isn't too fond of Samson for obvious reasons (since he is an ex-templar) but admires the fact that he put his neck on the line to assist mages. Overall she thinks he's pretty skeevy but overlooks that fact whenever they interact over the course of the game. If/when she got the news that he was leading the Red Templars for Corypheus, any goodwill she had left was probably diminished.
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Oneirataxia
A/N : So...today was an english practical examination and I can choose between narative, recount and descriptive. I choose the obvious narative text because I will never pass on the oppurtunity to make a story BUT I have to start the narative with a prompt that was given (there was 2 options) and I choose :
“A man stood upon a bridge in the northern part of our village, looking down into the swift water twenty feet below. The man's hands were behind his back, the wrists bound with a cord. A rope closely encircled his neck.”
When I was writing it, I was like “Ah, yes. Why don’t we make a villainous mc and so I am sharing the writing with a few additional changes because I used an oc name for the exam.
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If anyone wants a full length fanfic of this pls tell me bcs I am gonna be more commited to know that people want to read this. For the time being this just a prologue (a backstory for the reader)
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What I planned for this fic (if enough people want to read this fic) :
Pairing : Kamisato Ayato x reader
AU : Pirate AU and Royal AU
Genre: Fluff with a pinch of angst
Troupe : Enemies to Lovers
Disclaimer : This fic mentions killing people, manipulation and pushing someone of a bridge but it isn’t graphic (READ WITH CAUTION)
A man stood upon a bridge in the northern part of a village, looking down into the swift water twenty feet below. The man's hands were behind his back, the wrists bound with a cord. A rope closely encircled his neck. “Any last words?” you taunted the man, putting your feet on top of the railings standing beside the man. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.” the man spat, glaring at you and if looks could kill you would’ve been dead. You laughed before ordering the crew to let go of the rope, making the man descend to his death.
“That was fun! Who’s next?” you asked, you’ll going to get what you wanted even if you had to let the world burn.
Your target wasn’t exactly the whole world, just one person but all of them…they tried to stop you, they tried to keep that person protected. If you couldn’t get justice the nice way then you’ll just have to do it yourself. So, one day you disappeared and no one knows where you were going, no one could stop you. A pirate captain opened their arms for you, accepted you. The pirate taught you a lot of things, even how to fight and intimidate but your favourite was how to manipulate.
When you came back you were different; you weren’t the little girl the villager knew. You weren't the sweet girl that works in the bakery with your grandmother anymore. You are Captain Black Pearl the bloodthirsty pirate as you are known all over. “There’s only one left, Captain.” one of them answered, holding a sheet of paper. The name of the man that was thrown off the bridge had been crossed with ink. Your eyes light up in excitement because you knew who this last target was, you are going to finally get revenge.
“Come now, crew. We have one last target.” you declared as the crew erupts in cheers. They’ve always been very loyal to the old captain and when they died they had entrusted you to be their successor,
As you and the crew trek the road to where you were supposed to go, the villagers quickly ran inside to avoid you. Even the passersby were let in by the other villagers. No one wanted to stand in the way of you and your merry band of pirates. Your heart has turned to stone as if medusa herself had looked into your heart.
“We’re here Captain.” your right hand man announced as you approached the cottage that was fairly big and expensive. “Oh this is going to be so rewarding.” you commented, eyes looking unhinged as you were almost there. All of you barged into the cottage only to find the man’s wife and his 25 year old only daughter. The look of fear was evident in their face. “Tie them up.” you commanded, nodding your head to the both of them.
“Aye captain.” they responded in unison, tying them up.
They started to prepare the house for the person you hated the most and only then will the rage in your heart disappear. They put the person’s family into one of the rooms that will be guarded by 2 of your best crewmates. While the other crewmates patrol the area stationed in strategic parts of the surrounding area. We can’t let the target run.
The sound of keys opening the door could be heard. You were sitting in the dining room, feet atop the table, chair tilted back balanced on only 2 of it’s legs. “Nice of you to stop by.” you greeted, looking at the object of your anger and bitterness. When he saw you, his face pales, getting ready to run.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to your family, no?” you warned, giving the cue to the 2 crewmates walking out of the room with the 2 most precious things in his life.
The man slowly distances himself from the door not wanting to trigger you into killing his family. “There, I am not running. Please let my family go.” the man begged, tears started pooling in his eyes.
One of the 2 crewmates came up behind him to tie him up. “...No.” you voiced, looking at the man with unbridled anger. The man watched in horror as you shot his wife with a gun that you were holding. The sound he let out wasn’t human. He was in pain like you were before. “Look at what you made me do. This is all your fault you know. If only you didn’t take away the only precious thing I have in this world. Now your wife is dead because of you.” you stated, repeatedly blaming him with a sweet and kind voice. It was what the old captain had taught you.
They told you to make the victim vulnerable and broken. Once that was done, repeatedly blame them, the longer the better. “Why…why are you doing this? I was young! It was an accident! Why won’t you just let it go?” the man spat between hiccups.
“Oh, you were young,” you started, sauntering over to him “How pathetic. I was A CHILD! You killed my grandmother! My only family left! I wouldn’t have had to kill a lot of people if it wasn’t for you and that corrupted judge but here we are.”
“Why don’t you just kill me already?” he asked, looking at his daughter who was paralyzed with fear.
“Kill you? Oh, you got it all wrong. My revenge plan was never to kill you. No, it was to let you live with the pain and guilt.” you clarified, pointing the gun at his daughter and…
BANG!
The look of pure devastation in his eyes was very rewarding to you. “You don’t deserve to die. What happened here is your fault. Maybe now you would understand the pain that I was and is still living with.”
#kamisato ayato#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#pirate au#royal au#x reader#kamisato ayato x reader#female reader
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Hi can I request the the boys of the OG6 acting like older brothers of Natasha and then literally interrogating ceo!reader or something bc they’re known for being a player?
Natasha’s just watching them and being embarrassed.
You don’t have to if you don’t want to:)
Anything for you
Pairing: Natasha x Reader
Warning: Language, fluff, angst :3
Summary: Your past impacted your future and others trust, are you able to change for her?
Word count: 3.7k
My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3
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Being in a relationship has never been easy in your life, especially since you are the richest person alive, along side with Tony Stark. Since your dad retired and gave you the company you were doing pretty good for someone your age.
You were a 'player' or well that's what people did describe you, but you liked to call yourself adventurous, it was more of a stress relief type of hook ups never more never less.
Half of the time you thought that since you have money people will use you for it so you kept your cold bitch face and kept going with life.
There was a reason behind that thinking, you remember like it was yesterday. Back when you had less responsibilities on your head, you did date.
There was this boy, who was the most respected person in school, he always helped everyone and even turned you into a bit more social and nicer person to which you gained popularity.
You were practically swooned over this guy, not him as a boy but his personality, he 'loved' you or at least that's what you thought. Since you gained respect of practically every person in the school, there were rumours that your boyfriend only used you for the money.
He had a whole plan of how to get your money, by marrying you like he was going to stick with you for a very long time just so he can take your money and leave you dry.
At first you didn't want to believe it until you overheard his conversation with his friends, he was laughing and just being a dick about your whole relationship, telling them what you told him in secret.
You ended up getting revenge, since you were able to get away with most things, you actually punched him and outed him to the whole school with how he treated you, he was suspended and your father moved you to another school for 'punishment' but he really did you a favour.
Every since that you questioned any relationships after that, whether it was with girls or boys, to you they all seemed the same as your ex. So you stuck with being single for sometime until you accidently slept with someone at a party and that's where you picked up the habits of sleeping around.
It did kind of stop when you took over after your dad retired but as soon as you were doing a good enough job and providing the best solutions for the issues that occurred, you practically had many women in your office, no matter the time.
You tried not to mix work with your sex life which meant your workers were your workers and nothing else but there was an exemption, there was a woman, her name is Ava, who used to work along side of your dad and now she works along side of you, she become your casual hook up which sometimes interfered with work.
Since you always believed in good, Ava suggested for you to work with the Avengers, you agreed and reached out to Tony and offered a deal to help him with anything he needs but you wanted intel on everything they do which meant you were there pretty often.
When you first met the team, it was only a couple of them as most were away from a mission, they were a family that you wanted and lacked. Your father never was a feeling type of guy and your mother never really cared unless she didn't get her money.
The Avengers were different and even if you weren't physically fighting with them, you helped them out a lot since they ruined a lot of property to which you were quick to act to some point you were considered their teammate.
When you met this one particular team mate, you instantly knew she was different. You knew she existed from them being featured on the news but face to face with these people were so different. She was the reason you changed so much.
The more you started to spend time with the Avengers the more you were fascinated by her. Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, the Russian, the redhead, you preferred stunning but Natasha would have to do.
She was just as into you as you were into her and you wasn't hiding it, you were obvious which only encouraged her to continue her exploring. Everyone warned her about you but she was too blind and stubborn to care.
You stopped sleeping around when you started to hang around the team more often, which didn't go unnoticed by your own company, especially Ava who worked with you, was she jealous? Of course, to the point where she tried to ruin your chance with Natasha.
You were busy that day, like really busy, ever since you were taking things with Natasha at some pace, you would neglect your work and overload Ava, she didn't mind it because in return she wanted you and she was going to succeed.
She was all over you to which you never paid any attention, your mind was occupied with Natasha, you literally did everything to spend more of your time with the Russian rather than here being a CEO.
You was standing near the elevators, talking to one of your other business partners and Ava was next to you since she was in a way involved into your business.
Natasha was planning to visit you at work as you couldn't leave this time, she wants to watch you be a badass CEO, it turned her on when you bossed people around plus it was more time together so she didn't mind.
Natasha appeared out of the Elevator to which she was spotted by Ava, there was a smirk at her lips as she started her plan. When you and the business partner made a joke, she laughed as she placed her hand gently on your shoulder.
Natasha saw it all, she narrowed her eyes and waited for you to push her away, here where the problems comes. The company didn't know who you starting to change for, so when the next person saw Natasha and where she was looking, they made a comment.
"I wouldn't look so surprised, they had a thing on and off all the time, since Y/n took over, Ava has been sneaking around but we all know"
Natasha nodded with a fake smile and turned around to the elevator, it took everything in her to turn around because all she wanted to do was walk towards you and Ava and literally kill yous on spot.
When Natasha arrived back, the team noticed her sudden change in her behaviour.
"Nat are you okay?" Steve questioned first as he observed the redhead.
She stiffly nodded and proceeded to walk out to her room but Thor stopped her "Okay, you're not okay now tell us what's wrong."
Natasha faced her team mates "It's stupid"
Clint shook his as he sipped his drink "It's not stupid if it's upsetting you"
Tony crossed his arms "Okay, spill Romanoff"
Natasha sighed as she walked over to where they were and sat in between them "I'm having doubts"
Bruce's head popped out from underneath a table "Doubts about what?"
"About what's going on between me and Y/n.." Natasha hesitantly told them.
Steve's frowned at her "Why?"
"I went to visit Y/n at work today and I hate to admit it but I don't think the player habits have stopped, it just worries me that I am being maybe used.." As Natasha finished, she was looking anywhere else but them.
Tony pulled Natasha into his side "It's okay, you have us to protect you, also I think Fury was looking for you so you might want to check that out first"
She nodded and just when she was about to stand up, Tony pulled her into a hug and suddenly everyone wants to hug her to which they did. They had their turn whispering sweet things to Natasha to calm her a little.
"We are having a party later" Tony announced just before the Russian left, she nodded at him and as soon as she left, they turned to each other.
"Okay, here is the plan, the party is there to keep her occupied whilst we question Y/n. I'm not going to allow a player break her sweet heart" Tony spoke up again as he looked from Steve to Bruce.
"I will get the ropes ready..." Clint stated as if he done this before.
Thor looked at Clint confused "I want to ask but at the same time I don't"
Tony rolled his eyes "It doesn't matter, we are going to find out and then decided what we should do with Y/n if it's true"
They all nodded and did their secret handshake that Natasha wasn't apart off because it was dedicated to her to protect her. They split and went to fulfil their parts of this secret mission.
Tony alerted you of the party, Steve kept his eyes on the door to see if you arrive, Bruce takes care of Ava or any other people, Thor takes you away as he is very convincing and Clint prepares for anything that could somehow disrupt the interrogation.
You were worried, each time you would message Natasha there would be no reply, that never happened before which was even more worrying. Your first irrational thought was to sleep with someone to take off the stress but after taking a deep breath you knew this isn't a way to solve this, you needed to talk to Natasha.
As soon as you received a text from Tony about a party, there was some sort of relief in your mind, she was busy with preparing maybe that's why she couldn't answer you.
You told Ava about the party so she cancelled any late meetings, any parties that Tony Stark planned had everyone invited so since you were a business partner of Tony, your whole company was invited meaning Ava was going to be there.
You always had a emergency suit in your office for unannounced parties when you had been stuck at the company for too long. You was ready within minutes and was out the door alone as quick as possible, in hopes that you will talk to Natasha before she gets lost in the part world.
You rushed over and as soon as you gotten into the building Thor stood in your way "Oh hello Thor, sorry I can't talk I'm in a bit of a rush.."
He simply smiled at you "It's okay but Tony really needs you, it has to wait"
You were going to protest but he pulled you along with him, he was much more stronger than you so you had no chance and just followed him.
He didn't simply let you walk in, he pushed you inside as he locked the door behind him, you huffed as you turned to face the door that now was locked, you looked around and suddenly Tony with Clint emerged from the wall.
"Woah, that's cool" You had your brows raised at their new thing.
"So why was I shoved in here?" You questioned now with a serious face.
Clint walked over to you and before you could move away he had you tied with this new invention, you looked at him with shock and then back at the ropes, he placed you down on a chair as suddenly everyone else but Natasha walk into the room.
Now you are surrounded by 5 Avengers death staring you like you had killed someone that was related to them "What is happening?"
Tony had a serious face "You're going to tell us about Ava"
You frowned in confusion "What are you talking about?"
Steve had his arms crossed "We want to know what is going on between you and Ava"
The boys tried their best to keep this whole thing a secret but Natasha was a spy after all so she knew what they were doing, she didn't want to stop them because if it meant somehow getting out the truth without lies she was okay with it, obviously to some extent, she didn't want them to hurt you so she observed from the other room.
"Is there suppose to be something going on between me and her?" You questioned as you stared at Steve with a serious face.
Bruce walked closer as he bend down to your face "There is 5 of us and just you, think wisely before answering Y/l/n"
Were you scared? A little, he was right you were alone and no one knew you were here, but you knew they wouldn't do anything to you well at least that's what you'd like to think.
"I will ask again, what is going on with you and Ava?" Tony spoke as Bruce walked back to where he stood before.
"Nothing is going on between me and her, what makes you think that?" You questioned this time.
Clint sighed as he dropped his hands "Because we know you were involved with her sexually"
You narrowed your eyes "So you five kidnapped me, tied and now you're asking me if I'm still sleeping with Ava, acting like this is your business because?"
Tony scoffed "Because you're messing with our family and we don't like people who hurt our family.."
"I'm not messing with no one-" You were quick to disagree but stopped yourself when you realised who they were referring to.
"You mean Natasha..." You spoke but rather to yourself than them.
"I'm not messing with Natasha" You stated simply.
"Then why is Ava all over you?" Clint asked as he crossed his arms this time.
"How am I suppose to know, I'm not a mind reader"
Clint faced Tony "Okay, I believe Y/n"
You smiled slightly at Clint, but his comment only caused an argument, your eyes wondered around the room, that's when you noticed that the corner of the room is different half way up as if there was glass, not making it obvious that you knew.
You cleared your throat "Can I say something?"
They all looked back at you and nodded in sync "I know yous don't trust me but I will try everything to show you that I don't have bad intentions when it comes to Natasha, now please can you let me go I really need to go"
Tony narrowed his eyes "If you want to show us that we can trust you then tell us where you are in such a rush"
You swallowed hard, you didn't want Natasha to find out this way so you tried your luck again "I can't tell you, I need to go"
Tony inhaled sharply as he looked over at the boys "Well what do you guys say about a round of beers and come back here in an hour to see if Y/n will say something then"
Thor smirked "We can also put the heating on, making it a little too hot here for our little Y/n here"
They all nodded and there was a sense of panic across your face "Okay stop, I will speak"
They all had a smirk and you just continued "I am in a rush to talk to Natasha.."
"Why?" Steve spoke as he walked a little closer to you.
"Well I was planning to do this face to face not through the glass but I'm head over hills with Natasha and I was planning to ask her out but I guess now she knows" You sighed with slight disappointment.
Tony was the one frowning with confusion "What do you mean? Through glass?"
You looked over at the glass "If you really think you know Natasha then think twice, because this woman is a spy, she is behind that glass listening to this"
Clint face palmed himself "I knew this was too good to be true"
Tony pulled out his remote that controlled the glass, he turned off the camouflage and there she stood, with her arms crossed and an embarrassed look across her face, well it was a death stare but you could tell them apart.
As your eyes landed on her face, a smile found it way on your lips really quickly, she always did that to you and you loved that feeling even if you were slightly terrified of it but you would do anything for Natasha even deal with your own issues for her.
Clint walked over as he untied you and allowed you to stand up with a little whine from the pain that the rope left behind, you looked at the boys and they moved out of your way, you looked at them and gave them a small nod as you proceeded your way out.
"You better not hurt her Y/l/n or you'll regret it" Tony simply whispered but just enough so you heard him, you looked at him and nodded with a smile.
You walked out of the room and shutting the door behind you, taking a deep breath and finally looking to your right as your eyes were met with the Russian's green ones, she was staring at you from across and all you wanted to do was pull her into you.
Nothing else but her was on your mind, you walked over to her and just stared at her without saying anything. You didn't even know what words would be right to say so instead she took your hand and pulled you to a less visited balcony.
She stood couple steps away from you to which she spoke up first "Did you mean it?"
Her naturally raspy voice was music to your ears, so you simply nodded because words could betray you quite easily, she sighed with relief as she looked down.
The boost of courage coursed through your body, you took those couple steps towards her as you placed your hand under her chin, making her look up at you.
"Natasha I am sorry if I made you feel like you were nothing more than some cheap hook up because you aren't and you never will be." You started off with an apology still holding her chin.
"You mean so much to me, you out of everyone could make me want to change is a lot for me, I knew the second that I would do anything for you that I was falling for you" This time you held her face with both of your hands as your eyes started to gloss.
"I also never told you how stunning you look" You manged to chuckle out before letting tears slowly fall from your eyes.
She chuckled with you as she wiped your tear of your cheeks "Thank you"
"I'm also sorry for them acting like that" Natasha tucked a fallen hair behind your ear.
You shook your head "You don't need to be sorry because if you made you more at ease then I would even let them kidnap me everyday if it meant you would feel better"
A smile made its way on her lips this time "I think I'm falling for you too" She whispered it as she searched in your eyes for any emotions.
You smiled with a relief sigh "We can take this at any pace you want and if you ever doubt anything, talk to me I will even take a lie detector test for you Nat"
She giggled as she nodded, instead of replying she hugged into your chest with a smile across her lips, you let your arms snake around her and close your eyes at her warmth.
You pulled away slightly just enough to be inches away from each other lips, you looked into her eyes and with confirmation from both parts you kiss her, your eyes flattered shut as if to see if this wasn't a dream.
You pulled away and rested your forehead against hers as you looked into her eyes, completely being pulled deeply into this moment, not realising that practically everyone could see this, but as long as you had Natasha with you, you didn't care.
The next day, you made Natasha meet you at the company along with Ava, Natasha worried rushed to you as she spotted you. Her eyes were quick to narrow at Ava.
You looked over at Natasha and with a smile you walked over to her as you took her hand and walked back to where you were, this time Ava had her eyes narrowed at Natasha.
"What am I doing here Y/n/n?" The redhead spoke up as she looked over at you.
"This is my way of showing that you can trust me Natty" You looked back at her with a smile.
She was still confused, so you looked over at Ava as you held a letter out to her, she hesitantly took it and opened it as her eyes scanned the paper so quickly.
"You're moving me to another work place?!" She screamed as she looked back at you.
You nodded with a smile across your lips "Yes, I have heard from so many people that you have been complaining about getting here so I did you a favour and moved you closer to where you live"
You pulled Natasha into you but kept your eyes on Ava, who pointed at Natasha "This is your fault, if you weren't here I would still have my chance"
You rolled your eyes, the Russian was ready to knock her out but you held her by her waist pretty firmly as you spoke "Don't blame this on others, this is all on you, it might be hard to understand for you but I didn't want anything else from you, now go pack your stuff as your new place awaits you"
She scoffed as she stormed away, you waved her goodbye as you giggled along with Natasha, you looked over to the redhead at your side, she smiled at you and without words, she kissed you to which you accepted it with open arms.
You wanted everyone to know she was taken by you and you were taken by her. She made you happy and you would do anything to prove to her that she is the one who has your heart.
⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻
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careless (f+a)
○ pairing: pro hero! katsuki bakugou x gn! reader, pro hero! reader, established relationship
○ word count: 3.5k
○ summary: after a successful battle you’re confused when katsuki isn’t happy for you, in fact he’s furious. shouldn’t he be proud of you?
○ content: a bit angsty, a bit fluffy, hurt/comfort, mention of cuts and blood
○ a/n: i rewrote this like 4 times lol but here it is!! (i may come back nd edit bc passive voice) feedback is appreciated, enjoy!
You and Bakugou were partners, but you weren’t partners. Sure, you were lovers in the nighttime, but on the field? Yeah, no thanks. The two of you had only partnered up a few times, and that was more than enough for you. Before even entering the field, you were hesitant that he’d let himself get distracted by you and you were right, just not for the reasons you think.
The dynamic shifted juuuust a little too much for your liking. One of the most...memorable times was when you were up against one of the more powerful villains. Anytime the villain would make a move towards you before you could even retaliate, Bakugou would slip in front of you- even going as far as to shove you back. To others watching, it seemed as if he was falling back into his attention-seeking habits or that it was so romantic that he put your safety over his, but you knew better (or at least you thought you did).
After that fight, you two had quite the shouting match in the ER afterward. Until he dragged the two of you home, insisting he was more than capable of taking care of the both of you. That, and his publicist was this close to having another conniption after hearing about your rather loud discussion….that the whole hospital heard.
You knew Katsuki only acted that way out of love and concern for you. You know that he sees you as strong. So, why did it still feel so demeaning? Why did it feel like he didn’t, maybe still doesn’t, see you as strong enough?
Even though after your discussion, you had decided to not do hero work together, the little voice in the back of your head wasn’t erased. Creeping in concluding that you were nothing but a pity fuck. The skewed, brutal honesty of the public never failed to make the little voice louder.
You did your best to not let it get to you, you really did. You ignored the tabloids and told your friends you didn’t want them telling you about the articles they had read. But this past week was just atrocious. Katsuki and you had gone on a coffee date, knowing that he was going to be swamped this week, trying to make up for crammed schedules. The paparazzi managed to find you-instantly getting into your personal space, effectively cutting your date short.
By the time you had got back to your apartment, the pictures were already released and practically everywhere. Katsuki tried distracting you by making you dinner and it was wonderful. But you stayed up that night reading every single headline, article, and comment about the two of you. Drowning yourself in the criticism as the voice began to get louder and louder.
Of course, you would never say it out loud, but since then you had been itching for a fight with a real villain. Somebody who can do some proper damage, somebody strong. Any kind of opportunity where you could prove your strength, show everyone that they’re wrong about you. That you’re good enough for Katsuki, that you’re strong enough to be a hero- that you are enough. And finally, finally, finally, the chance came.
You did wonderfully. The fight had dragged on for a while, long enough for reporters to arrive and commentate on the rest of it. Everyone could see how well that you handled everything, all the footage establishing your reputation.
Once the adrenaline from the fight had subsided, the ache in your body started seeping into your bones. Cuts that had been littered across your skin felt as though they had started glowing red, the cool night air kissing them. You still managed to put on a brave face for the crowd afterward, relief and joy filling your heart as the cheers far outweighed the jeers.
You let their praises wash over you, relishing the fact the little voice in your head had been silenced. Their words seeping into through your wounds, momentarily numbing the burning pain. Your heart was no longer squeezed by apprehension, finally at ease knowing that they believed in you, in your worth. As you gave your last interview and waved to the crowd, you made your way over to the ambulance.
His foot was practically tapping the ground at the speed of light, you were surprised he hadn’t made an indent in the concrete already. Katsuki stood there, arms crossed with a scowl on his face, furrowed brow, and glaring eyes. You didn’t know whether it was the exhaustion or if the night was that cold, but you could’ve sworn there was steam coming off of him.
He had arrived pretty late to the scene, coming from the other side of the city, but the footage of you was everywhere. Katsuki had seen the majority of the fight and despite not saying anything, it was obvious that he did not like what he saw. The lights from the ambulance bathed the two of you in red light. Strong arms envelop you in a firm but gentle hug. You close your eyes and breathe him in. You stand there in silence for a little while, simply basking in each other’s presence.
He leans down to mumble in a gruff voice, lips brushing against your ear,
“I already talked to the EMTs, we’re going home now.”
Although Katsuki had EMT training from when he was younger, only on rare occasions did he fully take patching you up into his own hands. Yes, he was always breathing down the neck of the poor medic who had the misfortune of having you as a patient, but typically he had enough self-control to let them do their job.
You were grateful to have privacy, but his reaction was off-putting to say the very least. He should be proud of you, right? That you handled everything so well, he should be congratulating you, right? So...why does he look like he’s two seconds away from grinding his teeth to dust?
The car ride to your apartment is as silent as the grave, thick tension weighing down the surrounding air, making your tongue heavy in your mouth. Katsuki’s knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel, not once sparing you a glance. Nearly all the lingering adrenaline from the fight and buzz from the crowd has faded, irritation and pain taking place.
Why the hell is he mad at me right now? He has no right or reason to be mad at me. Everything turned out fine!
As the city lights flutter past the window, you sit in the passenger stewing in confusion and anger. Wracking your brain trying to come up with a logical reason as to why he’s mad at you. Once you arrive at your apartment, you wait to hear the telltale slam of the front door, preparing to cringe- but it never comes.
Instead, Katsuki gently shuts the door behind him.
Oh. So he’s in that kind of mood.
Over time, you came to learn that there were levels to Katsuki’s anger. Everyone else in his life had been on the receiving end of his knee jerk reaction at some point. Yelling and slamming down everything he could get his hands on. But tonight, the type of anger in front of you. Only a few people had been privy to. The kind he has the force of an inferno behind it but is trying to channel it into a few million candles. The kind he wants to be careful with his words, spending every passing second trying to remove the barbs from his tongue, so as not to get it wrong.
Before you could get pulled back into your head, a large warm hand pressing at the small of your back kept you tethered to reality. Katsuki gently guided you to the bathroom, wordlessly turning on the shower, a silent signal for you to get undressed. The tension from the car had followed you into the apartment, a dark cloud, about to storm at any moment.
You slip into the shower, drinking in the way the water washes away the dirt and grime of the day. The peace is short-lived, the warm water trickling into your open wounds, your entire body stinging slightly. Peeking past the curtain, you see Katsuki rummaging through the closet for supplies. After he sets everything on the counter, he steps out to grab clothes.
Snatching the soap bar, you scrub your body down as quickly as possible, whimpers of pain involuntarily falling from your mouth. You had waited until Katsuki left, not wanting him to hear you crying out. Frantically blinking away your blurry vision, you finish washing up and wrap yourself in a fluffy towel, taking deep breaths. How are you going to keep it together?
In your shared bedroom, Katsuki was grabbing you a change of clothes while grumbling to himself. After throwing on a tank top and sweatpants, he paces back and forth with a scowl, running a hand through his hair. Trying to untangle the scribbles piling up in his brain, he takes a deep breath and looks into the mirror. He knows he needs to tread carefully, to get his words across in the best way possible. What you need right now isn’t yelling or anger, it’s honesty and support. He doesn’t want his anger to get in the way of what truly matters, repeating it over and over in his head,
I love you, and I care about you. I love you, and I care about you.
He makes his way back to the bathroom, clothes in hand, to see you standing there wrapped up tight in a fluffy towel. The precious sight in front of him squeezes his heart, making it a little hard to breathe. Here, in the safety of your apartment, you let yourself be a little more vulnerable and he loves it, wants more of it. But once you notice him walk in, you stand up a little straighter, wiping away the teary expression on your face. He grits his teeth at this but says nothing, reminding himself to keep it together.
You finish drying off and put on the clothes he brought you, one of his shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. Even though he’s standing right in front of you, being enveloped by his scent is still comforting. He leans against the counter, waiting for you to jump onto the space next to him, reminding himself one more time,
I love you, and I care about you.
He finally opens his mouth to say,
“That was really stupid of you.”
No response.
“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, you realize that, right?”
Silence.
“You could’ve bled out and died.”
You spit back, “But I didn’t right? I’m still here, aren’t I? So it doesn’t matter.”
Katsuki grits his teeth, huffing through his nose, growling out,
“It doesn’t matter?”
“No, no it doesn’t because I’m fine. Everything else turned out fine, so who cares?”
You were certain you were right, no doubt about it! He was overreacting about this and it was honestly the last thing you needed tonight, so you had less patience than usual.
He snaps his jaw shut, opting for the silent treatment again with a scowl on his face. Katsuki douses a cotton pad in alcohol and swipes it across one of your cuts.
You yelp in pain and surprise, sucking breath in through your teeth, snatching his wrist. You shoot him a glare, at first he’s ready to glare right back, but once he meets your gaze he softens. That’s what you do to him. You’ve given him a safe space to be soft, to be loving- to be vulnerable. This is why this cuts him up inside so much more, he knows that you’re in pain, that you’ve been in pain for the past week. But every time he would ask, you brushed it off, adamant on shouldering it by yourself. He was even angrier at himself for not pushing harder, if he had you might not have pushed yourself tonight.
You were his safe space and your reluctance to be vulnerable with him, had him doubting himself. Was he not enough for you? Did you not think he could be your safe space? He had beat himself up over this, which added another layer of frustration that had to take the backseat tonight.
He continues working diligently in silence, repeating the process with the same care for every single cut. Rubbing alcohol, bacitracin, a bandaid, and then smoothing over it with his rough fingertips. Repeatedly, gently tracing plain patterns over the material, soothing the both of you. If the circumstances were different, he would’ve littered butterfly kisses over every single one. The amount of self-control that he was showing was unfathomable.
Katsuki was inches away from exploding, pulling his brain in endless directions between figuring out how to get through to you, wanting to just tactlessly spill his guts, and longing to smother you in frantic love. You were nearing eruption as well, desperately wanting him to say something, anything at all, but you also didn’t want to hear a single word of his lecturing. You also wanted nothing more but to hug him, to cling to him because fuck, tonight was terrifying but you couldn’t let him know that-you had to stick to your guns.
Both of you were stubborn as all get out, a trait that you both loved and hated in one another. Neither of you wants to be the first to give in, and yet desperately pray the other will. Here together, in your bathroom, and yet worlds apart, lost in your thoughts. You were unceremoniously dragged back to the moment in front of you by fear.
Whether Katsuki did it on purpose, he had left the worst cut for last. It was the biggest one, crimson and angry, your anxiety building as he prepared to clean it. You had handled the stinging of the rest of the cuts fairly well, this one was going to be your breaking point.
His warm, rough hands wrap around your thigh, lightly squeezing it to steady you.
“Wait! Please.”
Your hand shot out to wrap around his wrist, your brain still catching up to your outburst. He immediately stopped in his tracks, looking up at you and feeling his heart shatter when he saw your eyes. Pleading, looking for mercy in him, and full of fear. As soft as he could muster,
“Hey, hey it’s not going to be that bad, promise.” He carefully watches as you nervously chew on your bottom lip. He raises his large hand to gently cup your face, you instinctively lean into the warmth of his palm. A new, unfamiliar voice pipes up in the back of your head as you get lost in his carmine eyes.
Let go.You’re safe here.
You let go of his wrist to place your hand on top of his bigger one, absentmindedly stroking.
“Just take a deep breath, okay? It’ll be over before you know it.”
Drawing in a shaky breath, you nod and try to relax as he moves his hand back to your thigh. He gingerly wipes the cut, the alcohol instantly seeping in and burning. You cry out in pain, begging him to stop, but he doesn’t listen. He tries to be quick but still efficient, wanting to lessen your pain. He places a large bandaid on it, smoothing it down, and finally, finally, gives in and presses the lightest butterfly kiss on top.
Fuck.
Your bottom lip is poking out, quivering as you do your best to swallow the sob clawing its way up your throat. Angrily rubbing away the tears that escape, you let out a trembling sigh, still trying to get a hold of yourself. Balling your hands into fists on your thighs, you sniffle and bite your lip so it’ll stop its ridiculous shaking. You instinctively berate yourself for how you’re reacting.
You should be stronger than this. What is wrong with you?
The new, sweeter, softer voice comes back to say,
But it’s okay. Because it’s him.
Because it’s him. Because he’s the one who is fixing you, who is choosing to fix you. To be here with you, to choose you, and to love you. And maybe it is okay that you’re ‘weak’ in front of him. It’s safe here. Maybe you were wrong an-
“Do you understand why I’m mad at you?” His voice rumbles out, interrupting your thoughts.
“I-I don’t- honestly, no not really, I did nothing wrong tonight” You try not to roll your eyes at how watery and shaky your voice sounds. Katsuki sets his jaw and slowly breathes in and out of his nose, almost like a bull getting ready to charge.
“How am I going to get this through your head?” He mutters to himself, you roll your eyes in return and give him a pointed look. You know that you shouldn’t be getting riled up, but the exhaustion is sapping away your patience. Logically you know that you should just stop with the retorts, listen to him, and yet,
“Well? Are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me or am I just supposed to be a mind-reader?”
That was the last straw.
“I don’t know how or why you can’t see this,” he starts slowly, mulling over his thoughts, “but the way you handled tonight was...it was...you shouldn’t have pushed yourself that hard.”
“But every-”
“I don’t care that everything else turned out fine!” He raises his voice momentarily, forcing himself to come back down, “I’m not mad that you took care of everything else, I’m mad that you didn’t take care of yourself.” Ruby eyes search your face for any sign of understanding.
“It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks,” he notices how your eyes widen, realizing that he knew your feelings all along. You were mistaken for thinking you ever needed to handle it by yourself.
“You are already strong and you don’t have to prove that to anyone. You don’t owe anyone shit, you don’t need to push yourself to the point of breaking just to show that you can make it there.” He slips his warm, coarse hands into your softer ones, gripping tightly. He leans forward to put his forehead against yours,
“I need you. I need you in my life, and I need you to take care of yourself.” Desperation seeps into his voice, begging you to give yourself the love you deserve. Quietly, he adds,
“For my sake, at least, don’t be careless, dumbass.” He pulls back slightly to look at you, eyes glassy and full of pain. He doesn’t say anything else, letting his words float around in your head. You laughably admit to yourself,
He’s right. I am a dumbass.
Your face is wet with tears, salty drops still haven’t stopped cascading down your skin. You were being foolish, but you didn’t want to admit it, letting your pride suffocate you. You’re sniffling nonstop but still trying to keep your cries as tucked away as possible, your whole body shaking with stifled sobs. He lets go of your hands to cup your face, thumbs wiping away fresh tears.
“You can let it out, you know. You let me.”
You throw your arms around him, clutching him, afraid that he’ll float away from you. Keeping him in a tight, tight, tight embrace, hands collecting handfuls of his shirt. Like a broken record, repeating over and over again, strangled, I’m sorry’s. He hums in response, rubbing circles on your back as he holds you. Unbeknownst to you, he’s thankful you can’t see his tears that manage to slip out, knowing you would only cry harder.
The two of you stay like that until your sobs have subsided. He pulls away, wiping away the rest of your tears and holding your face again. You stare into each other’s tired and bloodshot eyes.
“I don’t want you to be careless anymore. I don’t want you to feel like you have to prove yourself to anyone. I want you to see what I already know, what is already true. You are more than enough, you are more than strong enough, and I need you to see that. Okay?”
Nodding, you whisper,
“I know,” You bite your lip and nod again.
“I know.”
Sometime later, after cuddles and soft voices, you lay in bed, wrapped up in fluffy blankets. Rubbing at the gauze around your arm, you stare at the ceiling, ruminating on what Katsuki said.
He’s right. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, especially not to assholes who don’t even know me. Next time that I want to be reckless, I’ll just think of him. The one who loves me and knows me.
You close your eyes and smile to yourself.
The one who knows I’m strong.
#🍓.blurbs#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki fluff#bakugou katsuki angst#bakugou fluff#bakugou angst#hurt comfort#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou fluff#katsuki bakugou angst#katsuki fluff#katsuki angst#mha x reader#bnha x reader#bakugou x you#katsuki x you#bakugou x y/n#katsuki x y/n#bakugou katsuki x you#sorry if the ending is cheesy :P
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*slams into your inbox* I just read through mag reader and Deimos headcanons again and I love it. I would def be interested in seeing more! (Also are you sure you don’t wanna hold his hand? Even just a little?) -Echo
gonna do a funney little mix of ideas here ,,,,, lol ,,,,,,,, also yes i am sure <333 i go 'hey check out this funny fish' and then i hold his head underwater.
[ tw brief, light violence, body horror and gore / blood ]
context
auditor + mag s/o ;
-OK OK HEAR ME OUT .
-you weren't originally an aahw project. while they're definitely the biggest company of sorts around there's still a few others that are like them but not exactly them hanging around nevada. you happened to be in some facility they decided to raid due to them having some possibly useful information regarding the anti-aahw . she's definitely a little less than enthused to get a call from her agents that she should come check this out but ,, when she lays her eyes on u that immediately melts away
-he's VERY very curious about you. keeps you close which is kind of nice bc it means you're treated pretty well but also it means a lot of being watched. audi just has like. a habit of unconsciously ''''''''studying'''''''' you. they're always noting little behaviors of yours down mentally and asking you little questions abut how you came to be and what abilities you hold.
-believe it or not he actually DOESN'T want you in fights. she knows you're incredibly capable but the thought of you getting too involved in a bunch of clawing and tearing again makes her get uneasy. she just prefers for you to stay by her side, with the excuse that you're a body guard of sorts for her (you aren't, she's got several other, more disposable mags that serve that role just fine.).
-HOWEVER. there is one time where he doesn't get an option in that. a few contractees and dissenters attempted a raid on the base audi was at, hoping to try and get some sort of bargaining chip to make deal with. before they can even really attempt to try and land some sort of hit on them you're already pouncing on the nearest grunt, blood already spurting and painting the walls red in mere seconds of your arrival. it honest to god shocks her into stillness, her just watching motionlessly the entire time, only really moving once to dodge some limb you'd mindlessly thrown her way after tearing it from its socket. WHILE SHE IS IMPRESSED ,,, she still scolds you a little for being reckless while trying to scrub the blood off of you with a wet rag, huffing that 'you could've gotten seriously hurt' if you were any less careful >:/
-however he does do the thng where he like. cups both sides of your face and then presses his forehead against yours. you have to lean down a lot for him to do so but still. sighs a little while brushing his thumb under your eyes and tells you to be more careful from now on.
-auditor is not immune to favoritism and it shows. someone brings it up (shakily, of course) and she just shrugs and goes 'idk what you're talking abt' while petting you who's got your head on her lap. said person promptly gets 'dismissed' after.
-hates whenever anyone tries to put some kind of muzzle on you, even if its just for the jaw dislocation thingy it still makes him go kind of '>:|' . he'll let them for like. a day at MOST (unless you keep trying to get it off, then chances are he's just gonna take it off for you. nobody really bothers asking / trying to get it back on you bc he just sends them a sharp little glare before they even can. if you REALLY need it that bad then he might try and convince you to keep it on a little longer or otherwise take your mind of it, he still feels really bad about it tho . )
sanford + mag s/o ;
- :)
-you two knew each other before he dissented / you became a mag. worked pretty close together and were just close in general !! you didn't know dei super super well since he worked in a different area but you two met a few times and hit it off pretty well.
-anyway ! he doesn't take your magnification well. at all. the first few times he saw you after it were the worst, mostly because those few times were primarily because you were lashing out at agents for one reason or another (mostly maltreatment from guards / people being shitty in general) . for the first while its so obvious that you're just exhausted from what's happened to your body that was NOT meant to become this, that you're tired and on edge from not being allowed any real rest. it makes him feel fucking terrible to see how awful of a state you're in and know that there's next to nothing he can really do to help.
-it especially hits him when he notices the other little changes. there's some specific moment where he's holding onto you far too tightly, clutching at the back of your jacket while he does his best to keep composed. you always had this habit of giving a half jokey hum of some stupid little joke or even just a 'what's wrong, big guy?' whenever he seemed off or tense, he can't help but make note of the lack of real response from you in the moment other than you wrapping your arms around him as well. another time, maybe he tries to make some little inside joke after something reminded him of it, looking back at you with a little smile. it hits him with a special punch to the gut when he notices your confusion, you just can't recognize it. you don't remember it anymore. you don't remember a lot of your old self or interactions anymore.
-you two end up getting split up at one point or another. orginally, he'd planned to run away with you and deimos buut,,, one way or another, you weren't really able to get out. he goes looking for you a bunch but eventually he has to stop when it gets to be too much and he can't find any real sign of you, he's quiet for a long time after it.
-HOWEVER . he does eventually find you in some abandoned warehouse him and the others had planned to look for supplies in. the entire time he's in there he keeps hearing sounds he thinks are just dei or hank but every time he asks or comments on it they just give him a look of confusion or a little 'what are you talking about?' it puts him really on edge, it's worse when he's in one of the further corners, digging through a few boxes and desperately trying to ignore how much it feels like someones there. anyway umm lol its just you ,,,, ehe . it takes him a solid minute to process that its you but as soon as it clicks he's yelling your name and running up to hug you. doesn't even stop to think that you could totally tear him a new one right then and there he's just too happy to see you. dei and hank both come rushing over after hearing him, dei recognizes you too and is just kinda 'oh hey !! friend !! :D' while hank stands there and just kinda stares.
-is able to take you back to base without too much argument from the others. he does his best to fill you in on everything that's happened in hopes you'll explained what happened on your part too. even if you don't he can't be too upset since he's just too gd happy to see you again ,,,, chances are you stick around him a lot . deimos is nice but u don't remember him super well and hank makes you uneasy lmao . its ok he thinks its funny though, just laughs a little whenever you stand in his doorway in silence until he notices you :)
#rot writes#sanford x reader#auditor x reader#madcom x reader#madness combat x reader#madcom imagines#madness combat imagines#echo anon#oughghghgh sleepy .......... snsnsnsnsnsnns
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ahh i’ve read all ur childe fics and they are absolutely amazing 🥺 i also live for angst and the way you portray ur characters emotions is emasculate *chefs kiss* is it possible if i may request an angsty childe fic where his s/o feels betrayed after finding out hes only been with her as part of the fatui’s plans but throughout the process childe actually falls in love and never meant to hurt them? and pls a fluffy ending bc my heart can’t take angst 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
Pairing - Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax x Reader
Warnings - Spoilers for Childe’s background.
Other Comments - Hello!! I am so glad that you are enjoying my stuff! I never would have imagined that I would receive so much positive feedback as I just started doing this but everyone has welcomed me with open arms hehe!! (//▽//) Anyway you are in luck because I absolutely love writing angst so lets go! Also these are heavily inspired by the songs Decode and All I Wanted by Paramore so I kinda recommend listening to them while you read. (๑˘︶˘๑)
Everyone you have encountered along your journey have been so friendly; all of them going out of their way to assist you. You have gained many friends along your way which have caused you to become quite a trusting person, to a fault at this point. Every person you have met with try their best to help you with your journey and leave a lingering friendship which you are incredibly grateful for. When you first decided you wanted to become an adventurer, your parents were extremely apprehensive, not trusting the world around you. You were determined to prove them wrong, and so far you have.
You had decided you wanted to settle down in Liyue for a while, exhausted from the constant traveling. This way you were always able to stay close around the Adventurers Guild. Along your journey of living in Liyue you had continued to meet many lovely and helpful people; one being a tall copper headed man.
During your travel and adventuring you had started to become a fairly big name, as you were incredibly skilled and managed to help save Mondstadt on a variety of occasions; even getting to know the grand master of the Knights of Favonius. So when a tall young man approached you, already knowing your name you weren’t all too surprised. You had already settled down into your small cozy apartment when he had come up to you.
“Excuse me, you don’t happen to be (y/n) do you?” You looked up, your eyes meeting bright blue ones as you found the owner of the soothing voice.
“Oh uh, yes that’s me. Is there something I can help you with?” A pleasant smile graced your face as the tall man gave a polite smile back before continuing.
“I was wondering if you could assist me with a domain, I seem to be having a bit more trouble with it than I had expected. I’ve heard you’re one of the best out there right now.” Your face flushed, something about this man was so endearing, and helping him out couldn’t be too hard, you had been able to defeat most of the domains in the area anyway so why not?
“Sure, I’d be more than happy to help you out! Are you an adventurer like I am?” You heard Childe let out a low chuckle.
“Oh no I am a Fatui Harbinger.” Wait- did he just say he was a Harbinger? You didn’t know much about the Fatui, but what you did know and have heard from other people was that the Fatui were always bad news. He didn’t seem like what everyone was saying though.
“Well then, when would you like to go?”
That was the beginning of your relationship with the Harbinger. After that you two both seemed to get along surprisingly well, and you found yourself struggling to stop seeing him. He was always on your mind, and with him almost always being around you that wasn’t helping either.
“So, where shall we go today darling?” Childe had decided to take up space in your already cramped apartment, not that you were complaining. It had been about six months since you had settled down in Liyue and you decided it was finally time to start traveling again. You had formed a really close connection with Childe, he always seemed to be your savior in situations that you needed it. You hoped that Childe would come along with you, but part of you had a feeling that he had to stay here for some reason.
“Well I was thinking I would go back to traveling again, I have stayed for about half a year so I think it’s time.” The smile that always seemed to find its place on Childe face quickly dropped, and you saw something change for a split second before returning back to normal.
“Oh well if that’s what you want then I am not going to stop you, but I can no longer accompany you, you better leave as soon as possible though.” Now what could he have said that for.
“So you can cover as much ground of course!” Childe must’ve picked up on your questioning gaze when he said that, as a reassuring smile found its way back to his face.
“I suppose you’re right, I need to say goodbye to the friends that I’ve made here though. Could you help me pack my things while I go do that?” A strong nod came from Childe before you granted yourself permission to leave.
It took you longer than you had anticipated to track down and say goodbye to all of the friends you had made here and Liyue, which you could blame Xiangling for as she made sure to make plenty of your favourite dishes for your trip.
As you approached your building you saw the back of the boy you knew so well, duck into a dark alley. Something could’ve been wrong, so to make sure he was okay you quietly followed a little ways behind.
“Are you deaf or just stupid? Your job was to get close to the dumb bitch and then bring them in. What is taking so long are you kidding?” A shorter man with a large hat was currently talking to Childe, surely they couldn’t be talking about you.
“Listen I know what my orders were, I was just waiting for a good time.” Childe’s voice was quite and his eyes were focused on the ground.
“If they’re leaving today, you better hope that they are still in Liyue for your own well being.” With that the shorter man quickly turned away and stormed off. So it was all a setup. Everything they did and talked about... All the things he told you... You as you were backing away in disbelief your shoe scuffed against the ground, causing Childe to whip around, those once familiar blue eyes meeting yours blowing out wide.
“(Y/n) wait-” You didn’t let him finish before you took off sprinting up to your apartment, hoping to get up there and lock yourself in. Was he going to kill you for over hearing?
You tripped a couple times going up the stairs hoping to the gods that you would still have enough time to shut and lock your door, all the while Childe was behind you begging for you to stop, for you to come back. Relief washed over you as your eyes found your door, adrenaline still pumping wildly through you.
“Please please please gods let me in!” You franticly attempted to unlock your door, the adrenaline making you shaky causing you to miss the keyhole. Your feverish prayers were answered when you flung the front door open, Childe’s loud footsteps pounding against the floor behind you. Right as you were slamming the door closed Childe’s body flew against the door, causing it to swing back open, hitting you in the process and tossing you to the ground; knocking the wind out of you.
Childe stood over you, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Was this the end? Were you going to die? Your wild eyes found his, the fear in them causing him to falter. He never wanted to see fear in your eyes, especially not because of him. The darkness of the night made it hard to see, the only light spilling in from the hallway through your open front door, spotlighting your face and the tears you had falling down your cheeks. You don’t remember when you started crying but it was obvious now. Neither of you spoke for a while, not knowing what to say. It was clear that Childe wasn’t going to kill you, but that still left a plethora of issues.
“You...” You began to speak, your voice shaky and uncertain. Childe’s eyes silently begged for you to stop.
“You took advantage of me. Everything was a lie. Was anything that came out of your mouth true?!” Sadness and anger flushed your face and you slowly rose to your feet.
“(Y/n) please... I never meant for it to go on this long.” That didn’t help his situation, that sentence having the same effect of putting water on an oil fire. Anger bloomed from your chest, almost making it hard to breathe.
“I trusted you! I guess this is all my fault for putting my trust into a Fatui Harbinger! Childe’s not even your real name! I know NOTHING about you!! And... and I let you stay with me! Keep me company! I let you put your filthy hands on me! You kissed me!!” Tears began to spill faster, but not just from you this time.
“(Y/n) please my feelings and actions towards you were no lies!! I admit this was all set up, but then I began to truly fall in love with you!! You have to believe me!” A loud broken laugh escaped your lips, almost like a bark.
“Believe you?! Again I don’t even know your real name-”
“Tartaglia.” This stopped you in your tracks, you couldn’t quite make sense of what he said.
“What?” Your words were barely above a whisper.
“My name. It’s Tartaglia. My family calls me Ajax. I am the 11th Harbinger of the Fatui. I moved to Liyue as a debt collector. I don’t want to be in the Fatui, not ever since I met you. You knew who the Fatui were and still chose to trust me. No one except my family has ever looked at me the way you do. I am from Snezhnaya. My birthday is July 20th. I enjoy ice fishing and combat. I have many siblings, a couple younger brothers named Teucer and Anthony and I have a sister named Tonia. See? You know so much more now!” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, you just stared at him. Childe or Tartaglia rather, was clearly getting anxious at your silence, as he shifted around more or fiddled with his gloves. He was normally so confident, so seeing him like this was shocking.
“(Y/n) please, say something; anything.” The desperation in his voice made your chest tighten. What could you say? On one hand you wanted to just forgive him and fall into his arms, on the other hand he had completely destroyed your trust; were you really willing on forgiving him that easily?
“Childe... I...” You could see Tartaglia flinch, not used to the tone of his code name on you tongue. He wanted so desperately for you to just say his real name. He wanted to embrace you, for you to forgive him. He would find a way out of this for the both of you.
“(Y/n) I will help you. I fell in love with you. I knew the second I set my eyes on you that I say going to fall for you. I will get you out of this situation, I have to. I know it’s stupid to say this now, but you have to trust me on this. After I get you out of here is when you can hit me scream at me and tell me never to see you again. I just need to make sure you’re safe.” You couldn’t hold yourself back anymore as you began to cry again. Tartaglia stepped close to you, slowly to make sure that you had a way to back up if you didn’t want him to get closer. When you didn’t move he took that as an ‘okay’ to get close, and that’s what he did.
Slowly the distance between the two of you closed as Tartaglia sunk to his knees and clung to you. His hold on you was iron tight, as he waited and hoped for you to return the hold; which much to his surprise you did. You clung to him and cried.
“I will make you trust me again (y/n). I will make you trust me and I will keep you safe. You have my word. I love you.”
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#genshin impact childe#genshin impact tartaglia#genshin impact imagine#childe imagine#childe imagines#tartaglia imagine#tartaglia imagines#tartaglia x reader#childe x reader#genshin x reader#genshin imagine
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when you’re a little | nct dream
genre! fluff, angst if you squint, boyfriend!au, littlespace!au
warnings! mentions of trauma with past partners
pairing! nct dream x gn!reader
author’s note! i am not a little myself but i’m not totally sure about this yet lololol but for now i am not...!, but i would really like to learn more about little space and reading or writing about it helps me out a lot! i really love little space aus and hopefully i didn’t get anything wrong, but if i did, please feel free to dm me about it or leave it in the comments! <3 lowercase intended!
dedication! to all those who loved my last dream reaction :( it did so well and it warms my heart that people liked it! :3
not proofread! most, if not all, of my work aren’t teehee
꒰ mark lee! ꒱
you probably haven’t gotten around telling mark about this part of you up until you fell into little space after seeing renjun’s moomin stuffie. your eyes grow wide, giggles escaping your lips.
“moomin-ie!” you rush towards the stuffie, pulling it closer to your chest, giggles and squeals spill out of your mouth as the rest of the dreamies watch in shock. you had completely forgotten about how they didn’t know, you didn’t want them to yet, but all that was thrown out the window as soon as your eyes found the stuffie.
“daddy! look at moomin-ie! he’s so cute!” your eyes sparkled as you turned to mark, who thought you looked so adorable and small in that moment.
“he does, baby.” smiling, albeit very confused, mark walks towards you, caressing your arm softly. he had read into little space before, purely out of curiosity but the information had still been hazy, kept at the back of his mind.
renjun eyes you nervously, his teeth chewing at his bottom lip “she will be giving that back... right?”
꒰ huang renjun! ꒱
you find yourself almost slipping into little space every time you visit renjun’s dorm, eyeing the stuffies placed neatly on his bed.
you had been dating renjun for a couple months now, his presence never failed to make you feel safe and comfortable. you didn’t mean to hide being a little from him, but with the way your ex had reacted, you were purely afraid.
“y/n? are you okay?” renjun laughs, finding your infatuation with his stuffies adorable. your small smile causes his laughs to cease and his brows to furrow.
“i’m a little.” you wince, feeling the abrupt change in mood. renjun raises his eyebrow, clearly not expecting your response.
“okay...” renjun doesn’t really understand, but he watches as you tear up and look away from him. “w-will you leave me now?”
his heart breaks, he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you and he wasn’t going to do so just because of one more thing to love about you.
“no! of course not.” he coos, pulling you into his lap and stroking your hair. unknowingly, you’re finally dragged into little space. your fists clutch his shirt as he tries to hush your cries.
“i’m here, doll.”
꒰ lee jeno! ꒱
jeno had been practicing all day, leaving you alone in your small apartment. it had been your one year anniversary, your plans of spending the day with him at your place completely spiraling down the drain.
“i guess he forgot...” feeling the heavy feeling in your chest triggered your little space as you tear up, sifting your play room for a teether and a stuffie.
tears streamed down your face as you made your way to your living room, settling yourself on the couch and turning on your favorite disney movie.
after a couple hours, jeno knocks gently on your door, feeling absolutely wrecked and guilty, but he waits. he frowns, the lack of response not really being a normal thing for you. with that, he decides to come in, finding you snuggled in your favorite blanket, the end credits of your movie playing softly in the background.
his eyes catch the sight of your teether, confusing him slightly. “d-daddy..?”
your eyes flutter open, red and puffy. jeno’s heart constricts as he immediately pulls you into his arms, despite his obvious confusion and slight hesitance, he shushes you as he strokes your hair.
“i’ve got you angel, i’m so so sorry.”
꒰ lee donghyuck! ꒱
unlike the previous members, you had already come clean with him at the start of your relationship. with past partners, it hadn’t really ended well all because of the fact that you’re a little. you had really liked donghyuck, and you weren’t going to give yourself hope if he didn’t want you anymore.
his eyes would flash with confusion, the term obviously being new to him. “it’s kinda like being in the head space of a child? it’s my way of coping with stress or anxious situations...”
you had carefully explained to him, feeling sheepish as a pink tint blazed your cheeks. his mouth form an ‘O’ shape, the term now becoming familiar to him.
“oh! so like, i’ll be your caregiver now, right?” he smiles, his hand reaching out to hold yours. your jaw slacks in shock, his willingness to care for you without a hint of hesitance is new to you. “y-yeah.”
you smile, the blush still harsh on your cheeks, pushing donghyuck to laugh and poke your cheeks while mumbling about how cute you looked right now.
꒰ na jaemin! ꒱
jaemin smiles as your eyes start to flutter close, but you keep fighting against them. “baby, you can go to sleep.”
his hand plays with your hair, pushing you to snuggle closer to him. you pout, shaking your head, your attention never leaving the tv sat in front of the both of you.
“no, daddy! he’s about to fly around with her, see!” you whine, motioning towards the bright scene, a whole new world playing softly in the background.
smiling, jaemin watches as you yawn, the song finishing after a moment, your small figure finally giving into much needed sleep. he continues to watch you for a second, a blush residing on his face.
he lets you fall into a deeper slumber for a moment, before clicking the tv off and picking you up from the couch, ensuring your blanket is still wrapped tightly around you. he moves slowly towards his bedroom, an abundance of stuffies laying on his bed. he picks a soft white bunny, and places it in your hold, your small hands grabbing at the stuffie almost immediately.
jaemin grins, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “sleep well, my love.”
꒰ zhong chenle! ꒱
“baby! you have to eat your veggies!” chenle sighs, your pout proving to be very hard to resist.
“but daddy! they’re ickie!” you whine, sipping up your milk from the cup he had gifted you a month prior. chenle huffs, crossing his arms. “not eating your veggies mean you don’t get cuddles tonight, little one.”
you gasp at the thought, the punishment being one of the many you couldn’t stand. chenle raises his eyebrow at you, his eyes never wavering. pouting, you knew he was serious. and so, ever so hesitantly, you place one piece of brocolli in your mouth.
smiling, chenle immediately praises you. “that’s my good girl! now finish the rest, please.” chenle coos, ruffling your hair, ignoring the complete annoyance in your face.
꒰ park jisung! ꒱
jisung truly had no idea about little space. so after you tell him your secret, he agrees to being your caregiver and you couldn’t be any happier.
thunder cracks loudly, causing you to jump from your deep sleep, tears forming in your eyes. jisung isn’t in your bed, your cries getting louder every second.
“d-daddy?” you cry, holding your stuffie close as you wander out of your room, finding him sitting on the couch, his attention completely taken by the laptop in front of him. “daddy!”
your cry startles him, but his eyes soften as your tears continue to drip down your cheeks.
“y/n! i’m so sorry.” he gasps, pushing the laptop off his lap and bringing you onto it instead. his hand strokes your hair as you tremble in his arms, your tears soaking his shirt.
“it’s alright now, my princess.”
his laptop sits next to them, the screen dimming ever so slightly, the words how to be a good caregiver seem to fade along with the screen.
no bc i love them?? so much?? they make me feel so safe no joke T-T
#nct writers#nct writing#nct imagines#nct au#nct scnerios#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream au#nct dream scenarios#7dream#mark lee#huang renjun#lee jeno#lee donghyuck#na jaemin#zhong chenle#park jisung#nct reactions#nct fluff#dream reactions#mark scenarios#renjun scenarios#jeno scenarios#haechan scenarios#jaemin scenarios#chenle scenarios#jisung scenarios#i love them they are so cute#SCREAMS they make my heart happy
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life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta
in terms of comforting others:
nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.
booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)
hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)
joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)
and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao
nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?
joe: Depends on the century
(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)
but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal
(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)
andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things
nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader
being comforted:
nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy
booker: alcohol.
honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)
joe: him touchy
ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)
andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.
nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.
(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)
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lavender latte: iii
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 4
word count: 4.2k
a cheeky drink and some mutual sabotage.
warnings: oh no, they say s*x, fluff, pining, the usual, and a wittle angst on the side, reader smokes cigs bc its a salem trademarked fic thing
enjoy folks ;^) the whole of this piece is gonna be about? ten chapters. so. hold on tight!!!
beta read by @keiqos, heart EYES
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“Let that sit for a second or you’ll burn yourself—”
“Don’t need to tell me twice, angel. I know the drill.” Hawks replied with a wink.
You weren’t ever going to get tired of that.
You really expected Hawks to disappear out of your life. You really, truly expected him to run off for good. How many bigger, better, and more important things did he have to do? Even if you managed to speak to him and regard him like any other customer (or, perhaps acquaintance, and more recently, friend — ), your mind swam with insecurities that only seemed to get worse over time.
You were waiting for the metaphorical thread to snap.
You waited for the day Hawks simply would stop texting you flirty bullshit on a somewhat regular basis.
But, holy fuck, the dude didn’t.
You couldn’t think of why. You weren’t complaining about the attention, but you also were terrified of getting too used to it. Hawks was a part... bird (?) right? He was flighty by nature.
Despite this, Hawks continued to not only text you but also stopped by the shop fairly frequently for his special, quirk-fueled beverage fix. Politely, he’d text you the day before he planned to make an appearance to check and see if you were working, and then show up the next day like it was nothing.
He usually wouldn’t stay for long; the hero was ungodly busy and always on the move. But, he always took the time to flirt and get a full description of his drink before dashing out to save the world once more.
Most days he visited were his ‘hero work’ days. He’d appear in his costume, done up and dashing for a sip and a quick talk before disappearing once more into the skies. Every once in a while, Hawks had an ‘office’ day where he’d be confined to his agency to catch up on his insane backlog of paperwork. On these occasions, Hawks would talk (stall) at the tea shop for as long as possible. You talked and joked with him as long as he would let you. Sure, it put you behind on work, but no one at the shop was going to tell you off for fraternizing with the number two hero (whose repeated presence was drawing more customers anyways). You both reveled in each other's attention, drinking in the other’s slowly softening smiles and quick wit.
On this day, Keigo’s wings were the shittiest they had been in a while. Plucked and almost barren with how much he’d been working lately. Total exhaustion seemed like it was constantly on the horizon, tugging as his eyelids and weighing down his chest each morning.
It was easier to get out of bed when he got to think about seeing you.
Sure, your drinks were a perk. Very much so. He was getting so used to the artisan beverages you crafted that the taste of his normal canned coffee was starting to bother him.
But, what his real thrill in visiting the tea shop was that he got to see you, and that made his heart pound.
He sat across from you, looking down into your newest drink. It swirled between dark and milky, a heady, rich aroma billowing up with the steam it produced. He had requested something ‘surprising, new, and horribly caffeinated’ as deep fatigue was the worst villain he’d likely see that day. You had just nodded, cheekily starting to prepare his drink with a bounce in your step, pupils going wide.
“I feel like you’re gonna start running out of ideas one of these days,” Keigo laughed, adjusting himself on his stool, gloves and jacket removed. He almost looked like a normal patron.
You grinned to yourself, idly cleaning around you as you often did, “I dunno, I’ve got a lot.”
Hawks raised an eyebrow, “Tell me about them.”
“Nope, top-secret,” You shook your head, digging into your apron to flash him the small notepad you carried on you.
Scrawled in nasty handwriting, you carried your many ‘feeling’ ideas around with you. Different concepts and abstractions all scribbled down, a nice long list to look back on whenever Hawks would make his appearances and his own vague requests. Your backlog of ideas made it easy to find something more than suitable to make for him.
When Hawks saw your notepad his eyes widened, tilting his head and a devious smirk coming to his lips.
Your expression fell, and you stuffed the papers back into your pocket, hiding your hot face by idly cleaning some more.
You left yourself very open for teasing, it seemed.
(Not that you or Keigo minded.)
“You keep a little list of all of your ideas! I’m beyond flattered,” Hawks ran a hand through his hair, flashing a cocky smile for you.
“I have to stay prepared, can’t be disappointing my celebrity sugar daddy,” You winked as Hawks’s eyes went wide, half-hearing a choke get caught in his throat. (You loved it when you were able to get him visibly flustered. What a treat.) You nodded down to the drink, “Should be good to try now.”
Keigo really liked spending time with you. He knew it was always fleeting and short and consistently he wanted to find reasons to stay with you at the tea shop counter for longer and longer. Your quips and chides continued to get quicker and more clever and he was having an increasingly difficult time keeping his cool around you. Most of the time he smoothed himself easily, not showing a trace other than that which he neurologically couldn’t control.
But sometimes, you were bold enough and ballsy enough to get him to gag on his literal words and he was positive that you were the only person to ever have him break composure in such a way.
He covered his weakened poise by sipping the new drink, mindfully letting the taste wash over his tongue.
Increasingly, you’d been changing up the so-called ‘vibe’ of your beverages. It seemed like each time Keigo dropped in, you had something new and vibrant to show him.
This drink was particularly different.
The taste was rich, dark, and smooth, rolling into the back of his throat and down his spine. It coated his insides with a warm, low heat. Peeking through were sweet, light accents, warm but almost... teasing?
His dick twitched.
Hawks’s mouth dropped open, any and all professional veneers dropped as you just beamed so fucking smugly at him.
“What do you think?” You leaned a bit forward, bouncing on your toes with excitement.
“Is... Is this supposed to taste like sex?” Hawks asked, taking another mouthful to confirm. Based on the way his eyes briefly shut and some of the tension rolled from his shoulders, he thoroughly confirmed it.
“Technically, it’s crafted based on like... a late-night rendezvous. I left it fairly up to interpretation beyond that. The rest is on you.” You shrugged, still bouncing as Hawks took another chug.
“What the fuck, (Y/N),” Pleasant shock colored his features, but clear amusement stretched across his lips as he continued to drink.
“You wanted something surprising and horribly caffeinated. That’s a dark chocolate mocha with two extra shots, our in-house raspberry and rhubarb syrup, a bit of white chocolate syrup, and a few of my add-ins as well. It’s pretty different from what I’ve made you before,” You blinked at him, stomach twisting as his expression remained unguarded. “I... I probably should’ve asked before giving you a drink that definitely could’ve been taken as sex. That’s my bad. I can remake you something else if you’d like?”
Keigo shook himself from his stupor, shaking his head and quickly regaining his composure. He took another sip to emphasize his words, “No, nope. It’s okay. Definitely okay. The drink is really good. I’m just now wondering something.”
“And, what’s that?” You asked, reaching behind the counter to grab your own iced beverage.
“Can your quirk be used to manifest bad feelings and concepts, just like good ones?” Keigo asked. Normally, he’d add more nuance, but he was getting impatient and sloppy around you. He’d have to keep that in check.
Especially with the way your shoulders drew up and tensed. You turned a bit away from him, any and all potential for eye contact torn away.
He hit a nerve.
“The type of abstract feeling doesn’t matter, I can emulate it,” You replied, pulling at your nails. Keigo had long picked up that it was one of your habits when your anxiety spiked.
He dropped it, but didn’t forget. There were public files on quirks. Maybe he’d look into it. Maybe. It felt a bit invasive, but considering plenty of that data was freely accessible, it hardly was an invasion of privacy, right?
(Except for the fact that it obviously made you very uncomfortable to discuss the more unsavory potentials of your quirk.)
(He just wouldn’t tell you.)
Keigo switched topics, easily rolling away from the topic, “Any particular... event that inspired this one?”
You pressed your hands into the counter, leaning over it to glare at him, “Are you referring to something with that comment, Hawks?”
He shuddered when you said his name, but you don’t notice.
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Keigo shrugged easily, going for another sip.
The drink was inspired by the several day cinematic, wine-bender you went on a week or two prior. An entire weekend with just you, your cats, three entire bottles of wine, and a backlog of movies to catch up on. You tried to consume lots of different types of media, but what had been catching your eye lately had been anything with gushy romance for fairly obvious reasons.
(There was an embarrassing amount of ideas for drinks that were a bit too romantic to properly indulge with your quirk. You’d never tested the limits of how certain feelings could manifest, and you weren’t quite ready to face the reality where you could make people nut from caffeinated milk.)
“It is good though, the drink,” Hawks smacked his lips together as if it would make his coming analysis more credible. “It definitely does taste like sex, but more so complicated. Darker.”
“Deeper.” You smiled. “Your palette is getting more refined. I’m proud.”
“Are you saying it was bad to begin with?” Hawks pouted, flashing you falsely weepy eyes and a puffed out lip.
You rolled your eyes, “Yes, you yourself have admitted this. You drink canned coffee still, so I can’t even call your taste good.”
Hawks gasped, putting a hand to his chest, “I’m hurt, truly wounded.”
“I’m sure you are, tailfeathers.”
“I really thought I had reliably moved up to ‘birdboy’, angel.”
You snorted, covering your mouth with your hand, “Just goes to show how quickly the tables turn, tailfeathers.”
Hawks’s pager suddenly chimed, a familiar sign. He took a quick look at it and sighed, moving to re-robe. You were surprised by the speed at which he did so, and the way he became tense so quickly.
It made you realize that he was always tense.
(Unless he was talking to you.)
“I thought today was an office day?” You asked, a bit of a disappointment clouding your voice.
Hawks just gave a small smile, fully plastering back on his heroic facade, “Duty calls. Lots happening lately.”
He flicked his visor back over his eyes, slid you your normalized wad of cash, and whisked himself out the door, immediately taking to the skies from the streets.
He’s in a bit of a hurry.
He... didn’t even say goodbye.
Wonder what’s happening?
Truthfully, Keigo was a bit startled by the notice on his pager. The whole reason he’d started patrolling the particular neighborhood the tea shop was in was because there was word of a villain syndicate working nearby. It hardly seemed right for the neighborhood, but Keigo knew that villains hid anywhere. Whatever they were planning was still relatively shrouded, but it was clear that it needed to be treated delicately. That particular neighborhood was rife with pedestrians, businesses, and homes and any sort of villainous activity had the possibility of reaping a heavy amount of collateral damage. Keigo and the Commission had been on their guards about it, but things had been steadily becoming more intense over the past few weeks.
Plopping himself on a rooftop, Keigo took up residence to stake out his newest lead, watching figures and silhouettes in a nearby office building.
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Funnily enough, the rest of your week went horribly. Just downright shitty. You figured at some point, things would let up, brighten, but they didn’t. Each day brought some new, personal calamity.
The first was a trip to the emergency vet with one of your cats after she swallowed a hair tie. An expensive vet bill later, she was perfectly healthy, but you remained wracked with anxiety.
Another day, the owner of the tea shop paid a visit to chew you out for your newest tea blends not fulfilling his picky seasonal requests. You were relieved it had nothing to do with how Hawks monopolized your time. Still, getting yelled at easily within earshot of both coworkers and customers made your insides twists.
The final small disaster was when a particularly asshole-ish customer chucked a hot drink all over you and your cute white sweater. One of the younger openers had been dealing with a difficult patron and an incorrect order, nothing out of the ordinary. When you tried to step in and de-escalate the situation, the man ripped the lid from his cup and splashed you with the burning liquid. You held back any sounds of pain even as your skin stung like hell when you offered to remake his drink.
One of your managers luckily allowed you to go home early. Thank god.
By the end of your shitty week, you fell into your apartment and just cried. White sweater stained and day feeling fairly ruined, you let yourself have a good, solid sobbing session to just release how terrible things had been.
It would pass, you knew. But it sucked at the moment.
It also didn’t help that Hawks had been particularly absent after running out the last time he came around. He’d still managed to shoot you a funny text or two, but mostly, it was silence from him. You rationalized it by reminding yourself of how quickly he flew off at the end of his last visit, hero business forever more pertinent than you and the shop.
You reminded yourself to keep yourself grounded in Hawks obvious impermanence, even if you were starting to get used to (and really like) having the hero around.
You decided that your Friday evening would be good. You treated yourself to a hot shower, noting with a hiss the pink scalded skin that covered your chest from your collar bones to just below your breasts. You threw on a facemask and uncorked a bottle of wine you had been saving for a rainy day.
You clicked on one of your favorite shows, an older cartoon that brought you consistent comfort in times like those. Curled up with a knit throw blanket and your healthy cats, it did help soothe the burns, mental and physical.
That is until you got a bit too drunk on red wine and it turned into sad drunk.
So, you made your way to the roof.
You weren’t fucked up beyond belief, despite the fact that you were towing an open bottle of red in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the left. The cold would sober you up, along with the nicotine. You hoped it would force you out of your head.
Upon throwing open the door to your apartment complex’s rooftop, you were made very aware of its wintertime disuse. The gardens that grew during the summer were snowcovered. The chairs and tables for lounging were in a similar state. You didn’t mind.
The view was still nice.
You set down your bottle and zipped up your coat. Quickly, you brushed off the flurries from a rickety lawn chair and plopped yourself down. You threw on some music from your phone, playing some sweet, old songs that made your chest ache when you needed it to.
The city stretched in front of you, beyond the rooftop. You didn’t live in a particularly wealthy district, but there was no shortage of dazzling neon and bright street lights dotting the ground below. You watched how the rest of the city stretched far beyond your little pocket, still gleaming with multi-hued lighting and dazzling in the wash of the crescent moon.
You took a swig, fishing for your self-dubbed ‘sad cigarettes’ and lit up. With your exhale, you watched as smoke lazily swirled away, carried by the soft winter wind. If you were any less drunk, you’d be freezing.
A shadow, winged, fell across the snow.
“You know, I get nervous when I see pretty girls on rooftops with bottles in their hands,” You jumped at the voice, whipping your head to the source.
Hawks stood, scarlet wings fanned outwards, on the lip of the rooftop.
Your eyes widened.
You took another sip.
He gave an affectionate laugh, jumping down into the area where you were seated.
Keigo had just been out on his normal, nightly patrol. The leak had been correct and he’d been stealthily tracking the villains while completing the rest of his hero duties. He was able to laugh off his exhaustion, but it was starting to eat him. Several cans of coffee a day was hardly doing it for him. He hid his sleepiness and aches well, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult. All the same, his typical roles had to be fulfilled.
He was surprised to see you, all alone on a rooftop with a lit cigarette between your fingers. Keigo let himself be surprised before noting that ‘ yes, you definitely probably live in this apartment building and you’re just outside to smoke’, but the sudden jolt of panic he felt was crushingly unbearable.
Mostly because it was personally protective and not heroically instinctual and he couldn’t start acknowledging that aspect of his feelings for you. Not yet.
Keigo walked towards you, asking, watching you blink blearily at him “You doing alright?”
Eyes downcast, you shrugged, “We all feel shitty sometimes. Just depends on how you cope, ‘ya know?”
“And how do you cope, (Y/N)?” Keigo asked, pausing before brushing off a chair. “Mind if I join you for a bit? I could use a second to rest my wings.”
You nodded, almost offering him the bottle, but quickly pulling it back to your chest before taking another inhale. Offering a pro hero alcohol while he was pretty obviously working seemed like a bad move, even in your tipsy state.
“Most of the time, I watch nice stuff and distract myself, like most people, ya’ know?” You exhaled as you smoked, relishing the nicotine buzz. “Sometimes, though, I just feel extra shitty and need to extra cope.”
Hawks hummed in agreement, sitting back in the chair. His wings were folded up and over its back, the longest feathers trailing in the small snowdrift behind him.
“Do you get cold, being in the sky all the time?” You asked, eyes going cloudy as you stared up at the lights of the city and higher into the sky.
“Most of the time,” Hawks chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head, “I’ve told you this, angel. It was one of our first conversations.”
Your eyes widened at the realization, mouth open with a hearty laugh.
It made Keigo’s eyes water a little. He blamed it on the wind.
“I’m silly, I can’t believe I forgot,” You nestled back into your chair, tracing the lines between constellations. “It’s the whole reason you came to the teashop in the first place.”
Your voice resonated, focus foggy. Somewhere else, old memories played in your mind, recounting your first few meetings with Hawks.
A warm, small smile stretched across your face as you traced the stars.
Keigo watched, enraptured. You were cute, especially like this. All bundled up in your winter coat, half-zipped. There was a lot less stress in your shoulders than he normally saw at the shop, especially as your thoughts were so far away.
He wanted nothing more than to commit the contours and shadows of your face in the white moonlight to memory, never forgotten in the blissful cold.
You interrupted his thoughts so beautifully.
“Thanks for talking to me.” You took a sip from your bottle just after speaking, half-drowning your words, but Keigo caught each one. “I appreciate you.”
“P-pardon?” Keigo couldn’t tell if you caught his stutter, but even if you did, you didn’t show it. The comment felt like a jab to his jaw, half-knocking the wind of him and turning him into a filthy masochist. He’d take any whiplash if it meant you saying such kindnesses to him.
How could you just say shit like that?
What exactly did you mean by that?
Why did your attention make his legs tremble?
You turned your attention from the night sky to Hawks, something like uncertainty bubbling in your chest, “I appreciate you, ya’ know? Coming by the tea shop still, teasing each other and shit, you humoring me—”
Hawks interrupted you, feathers tensing at his back.
“I’m not humoring you.” Hawks deadpanned, staring at you oddly seriously. The yolks of his eyes seemed even more intense in the neon and night light.
“You’re... not?”
There was utter disbelief in your voice, accented by the way your jaw was half-opened.
Hawks shook his head, standing in emphasis, feathers fluttering as he did, “ No, angel. Not at all. I visit because...”
I like you.
“Because I like your drinks.”
Because you make me feel good in a way I’ve never felt.
“You’re fun to talk to, too. Added perk.”
Because I want to hear your voice when I breathe and when I die.
“I enjoy it, you know? You're fun.”
Some feeling in your chest, something full of hope, crushed itself and compacted to the point of pain. You sniffled at his admission, blaming it on the cold. In a fucked up, sad way, part of you was so relieved.
He likes the shop. He likes your drinks.
He’s around because he wants to be.
But not because you’re special to him.
His words reminded you of your insignificance in Hawks’s life. No matter how much you craved his attention and words, and more recently found yourself staring at the plumpness of his lips and the curve of his cupids bow and daydreaming about how much you wanted to lean over the tea shop's counter and kiss the constant, teasing smile off his face—
But.
You don’t matter that much to him.
Sure, he likes you, but he’ll never feel the same way about you.
You made the decision then to make the most out of Hawk’s affections and sweet words. You’d take what you could get, even if it was fleeting and probably eventually heartbreaking. It seemed smart, to refuse to get your hopes up for someone so unattainable.
You let out a shaking sigh, “Thank you, Hawks. I appreciate you coming around. You really light up my day.”
Keigo saw the fall of your face and bottled himself up. Shoved down everything. Fuck his feeling, fuck how he felt about you, this was all fucking terrifying. It was getting to be too much and he had to try and control himself.
Just like he’d been taught so well.
He was just so happy to be around you. He could squash his feelings, even if they were fairly obviously somewhat mutual. God knows that he didn’t know how to handle anything like that.
On the gods, his pager beeped.
“Duty calls?” You said, standing up yourself and brushing off the stray snowflakes.
“Seems so.” Hawks sighed, nodding, “Thanks for letting me rest here. It was good to see you, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, okay?”
You waved goodbye as Hawks disappeared as quickly as he came, launching himself from the roof with the heavy sound of wing beats.
Soaring away, Keigo risked a final look at you. He swore he saw tears in your eyes.
He forcibly repressed his feelings, reminding himself that your company, words, and quirk-made beverages were more than enough. The flutter in his chest when he thought of you wouldn’t rest, but he could learn to ignore it.
On the roof of your apartment, you felt fatigue in your bones and wetness on your cheeks. You ignored both in favor of smoking another cigarette, soft, melancholy music being your only constant, reliable companion.
You reminded yourself that he, Hawks, was a temporary fixture, more flighty than most and liked you just enough and for surface-level reasons. You could take that. You’d do anything to be around him more, even if it never amounted to anything.
You, just as Keigo did, pressed down any larger feelings.
(The thing about feelings, though, that neither of you was very good at remembering, was that they don’t go away. Sure, you can let them go, but that takes time or a practiced mind!)
(When you take feelings, big, aching, soaking feelings and shove them down into the deepest parts of you, they just tend to make you bleed. The ‘hidden’ feelings color your blood as it spills, even if you don’t notice when it falls and its change in hue.)
(One can only hope that both Keigo and you listened instead of lied.)
Both of your hearts ached, and neither of you fully understood why.
#salem writes#hawks x reader#mha hawks#bnha hawks#takami keigo x reader#keigo takami x reader#reader insert#mha x reader#keigo x reader#hawks x y/n#takami keigo x y/n#lavender latte#bnha x reader
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The Hidden Name
Remus Lupin x reader
Request: can i request a soulmate au with remus crushing on a slytherin reader? everyone (especially james + sirius bc her and regulus are best friends) thinks y/n has the dark mark bc she keeps hiding her arm but its a soulmate mark and the boys eventually corner her until she cries but only for them to recognize the mark on their friend. AH IM SORRY IF IT'S TOO SPECIFIC! THANK U 💖 (anon)
Words: 2900
Warnings: none
A/N: this is my first ever request! I hope it did justice to your ask!
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Everyone got their mark on their seventeenth birthday and you were not excluded, no matter how much you feared the name that would appear on your wrist. It had happened to some of your friends already, but the names they had gotten were strange to them. It were the names of people who they had yet to meet. They had no fear of embarrassing themselves at school because no one knew the person belonging to the name.
For you, the case was different. You had stayed up all night for your birthday and had watched as the name appeared on your wrist. It was carved slowly into your skin and your eyes had teared up from the pain. But the pain that the name had made had been nothing to the pain that had been filling you ever since the moment you had read the name.
Remus
There was no way that Remus Lupin could be your soulmate. Not a chance. Something must have gone wrong. Maybe there was another Remus somewhere.
The first days after your birthday you had tried to convince yourself that the Remus that was walking around in the same school as you, was not the person that belonged to the name on your wrist. But you knew that it wasn’t true. Though you tried to ignore Remus as much as you could, you often found yourself in the same room as him. You were drawn to him like a bee to a flower.
There was no way of getting close to him though. It was obvious that he and his friends didn’t like you. Despite being in the same year as him, you had never really talked to him. Maybe you had exchanged a few words if you were in the same class, but you had never had a full conversation with him.
Maybe that was why you liked him, why you were drawn to him; he was mysterious. There was so little you knew about him and so much to explore.
However, not a single part of you believed that you would ever get to chance to explore. Remus was a Gryffindor, friends with Sirius and James, who had no problem showing that they didn’t like you. Even if it was just because you were friends with Regulus. You were a Slytherin, their destined enemy.
So, the morning the name had appeared on your you had hidden your wrists in your sleeves and even now a few weeks later your wrists had not seen anything but the inside of your shirts and sweaters.
The only person who knew about the name was Regulus. There was no way to hide something this big from your best friend. He would have found out anyway.
Regulus was your best friend, despite being a year younger than you. You had gotten to know him better during a detention in his second week. You were not exactly best friends with the Slytherins from your own year and Regulus had been different from them. You knew about his past, about his parents and his family, but you had gotten to know Regulus, not a Black. He had become your best friend and you could have not wished for a better one.
‘No, you go ahead,’ you said to Regulus waving with your book. ‘I’ll get my books. Meet you at the library in ten?’
Regulus nodded and walked away to the library, while you made your way to the dungeons. You had promised to help him with his Transfiguration essay, that he had been struggling on the entire week. You had wanted to help him sooner, but your week had been busy and you had barely had any time. So that was why you were hurrying to the common room on a Saturday morning, hoping that the essay wouldn’t be so difficult and you wouldn’t have to spend the whole day in the cramped, stuffy library.
You spun around the corner, but quickly stepped back as you saw who were standing in the corridor. There was no need to take a second look to be sure. James and Sirius were talking to each other, way too loud if they didn’t want anyone to hear.
‘I’m telling you, she has been hiding her left forearm!’ Sirius whisper-yelled.
‘She has been acting weird,’ James said. ‘She didn’t even respond to our comments last Potions class.’
That was true; James and Sirius always made comments to or about you and during the Potions classes was the only time that you were close enough to them to respond. It was now almost like a game to James and Sirius. Who could make you the most upset?
But lately both Sirius and James had noticed you barely even reacted at their insults. And the last class you had not even turned around to them when they had whispered your name. However, neither of the two Gryffindors had found a problem with that. They wanted you as far away from them as possible, especially after what had happened on Remus’ seventeenth birthday.
Remus hadn’t even noticed the name until his friends had pointed it out. James had laughed, saying that there was no way you could be his soulmate, Sirius had sneered something mean about you and Peter had only stared at Remus’ wrist. Remus had brushed it off, saying that he didn’t believe in soulmates. But none of his friends knew the excitement he had felt the moment he had read your name. The butterflies in his stomach were not unusual for him to get if he thought about you. He knew that you probably found him boring and dull or even worse, that you hated him. He had never talked to you, but there was something about you that intrigued him.
He never spoke to his friends about you and whenever your name was mentioned in their conversation Remus would pretend he was busy with something else. He hated how his friends didn’t like you. Maybe he could accept it if they had a good reason for it, but they only hated you because you were friends with Regulus and because you were in Slytherin.
James and Sirius walked on, still talking about how weird you had been acting and left the corridor, unaware that you had heard most of their conversation. They only stopped talking to say the password to the Fat Lady and when they stepped into the red common room and plopped down on the sofa next to Remus, their conversation was already continuing.
‘I think she has the dark mark,’ Sirius blurted out.
‘Who?’ Remus asked, squeezing his eyes at Sirius and closing his book.
‘Your soulmate,’ James answered and he pointed at Remus’ wrist where your name stood proudly in black ink.
‘She has been hiding her left arm for weeks now. I noticed at Transfiguration last week,’ Sirius said and he sat up a little more straight. ‘Her sleeve slid down her arm and I saw something black before she quickly put her sleeve back. She’s a death eater, for sure.’
James nodded to Sirius’ words. ‘What else you’d expect from a Slytherin?’
‘Just because someone has something on their arm, doesn’t mean they’re a death eater, Pads,’ Remus pointed out, feeling real uncomfortable about the conversation. You couldn’t be a death eater. You just couldn’t. ‘I have something on my left arm and I am not a death eater. Maybe she has a soulmate-mark there too…’
Remus’ heart started to beat faster at the thought of you having the same place for your mark. Everyone knew that soulmates would get each other’s name inked on the same place. Girls often tried to undress boys to see if they might have any names on their chest. There were even some sad cases, where the name of the soulmate had appeared on people’s forehead.
‘Come on!’ James said. ‘How big is the chance that she has your name on the same place?’
‘I don’t even think you are her soulmate, Moony,’ Sirius said, trying to be comforting but only hurting his friend. ‘You’ve never even talked, y’know?’
‘Yeah!’ Peter chimed in from his place on the floor. ‘Maybe she fits with you, but you not with her! Wouldn’t that be a relieve?’
Remus stared at his closed book and nodded. Maybe that was better.
- -- -
Another week went by and you started to get tired from hiding your wrist all the time. The conversation of James and Sirius was still in your mind. Had they really noticed you had been hiding your forearms? What would they do if they would find out that you had their friend’s name there? What if they had already found out?
It was getting hotter and you would rather wear a T-shirt, but the thought of anyone seeing the name scared you enough to wear a long-sleeve. You had classes outside anyway and it was a bit breezy outside, maybe the shirt wouldn’t be so bad.
You sat down next to Regulus in the Great Hall. He looked at your shirt and then shook his head.
‘They’re at the other side of the hall. There is no way they can see you now,’ he pointed out and you looked at the four Gryffindors you had learned to avoid in the last month. Remus looked up and he caught your gaze. His hand reached up but halfway through the movement he apparently changed his mind, because his hand stopped. You quickly averted your eyes and turned to Regulus, who was chuckling at your blushing face.
‘You know he is seventeen too?’ he asked and poured you a cup of coffee. ‘Why don’t you just ask for his mark?’
You snorted and two third-years next to you looked up scared. You ignored them and rolled your eyes at Regulus. ‘Just ask him? Have you lost your mind?! I can’t just go up to someone I have never talked to and ask him to see his soulmate-mark!’
‘Alright, alright! Don’t stress! I just think you should at least talk to him. He deserves to know he is your soulmate,’ Regulus said and he shrugged.
You finished your breakfast in silence as you thought of your friend’s words. Maybe he was right and you should talk to Remus. Maybe, a little sparkle of hope in your chest said, there was a chance he had your name on his wrist.
That was the thought that was in your mind as you got up from the table, said goodbye to Regulus and walked to your first class. For the first time since your birthday, you let the thought of actually being soulmates with Remus enter your mind. There was a strange, bubbly feeling in your stomach as you thought of it.
The thought was quickly interrupted, however, by the appearance of four boys. The four boys you had avoided the whole month. You hadn’t even responded to the mean comments James and Sirius had thrown to you during your shared classes. Usually you said something back, but now you just couldn’t bring it to yourself to even come up with something. You had completely distanced yourself from them, but now there was no escaping.
‘Well, look who it is,’ Sirius said as he approached you.
‘Our beloved Slytherin friend,’ James said. ‘You know, you have been awfully quiet for the past weeks.’
Your eyes left James’ face for a second and slid over Remus’. There was no expression in his eyes and nothing on his face. You scolded yourself for even thinking of him as your soulmate and your right hand subconsciously grabbed your left wrist, where you could almost feel the letters of his name burning on your skin.
‘We don’t even have to bring up the subject ourselves, James,’ Sirius said to his friend as an evil smirk formed on his face.
In his hand you saw his wand and you were scared. You couldn’t think of anything you had done, but you knew that that was no excuse for Sirius and James.
‘You’re making it really easy for us,’ James said with a nefarious glint in his eyes.
You took a step back and felt your back against the cold stones of the wall. You could not escape, not even if you tried. The time it would take you to get your wand would be enough for them to hurt you. You tried to stay calm, but the tears were threatening to fall.
‘What do you have to say for yourself?’ James spat at you as he stepped closer to you, playing with his wand in his fingers.
‘What do you mean?’ you asked, unable to keep your voice steady.
‘Don’t hide it, it’s obvious,’ Sirius said. ‘Are you trying to get my brother into it as well? Haven’t you ruined him enough?’
‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ you said with a trembling voice and a tear slid down your cheek as Sirius stepped closer to you and grabbed your arm.
You tried to pull your arm back, but Sirius was stronger than you. Your hand was stuck in his and there was nothing you could do. You dared not to look at Remus. Though you still didn’t know what Sirius and James were talking about, you did know that it would just take a second to lift up your sleeve and reveal what you had tried to hide for the past month.
‘James, the honour is yours,’ Sirius said, while he smirked at you.
The tears were streaming down your face and you didn’t even try to stop them. You had lost. They would see Remus’ name and laugh at you. Laugh at the name of someone who hated you on your skin.
James’ fingers brushed your skin as he reached for your sleeve. With one rough pull, your sleeve was up to your elbow and the name was exposed to the bright light in the corridor and the eyes of the four Gryffindors.
You had expected laughter and pestering, but instead the eyes of the boys turned into saucers. Sirius’ grip on you weakened and you managed to snatch yourself loose. Without even looking at them you ran away.
You didn’t know where you were going and you didn’t know how you ended up in the forest, but that was where your feet stopped. You dropped on your knees and hid your face in your hands. The tears still fell, but it was not because you were scared anymore. You were embarrassed; embarrassed that this had to happen to you. It could have been anyone else, why did it have to be you?
The sounds that surrounded you didn’t reach you. To you, it felt like there was no wind, like there were no other creatures in the forest, like there was absolute silence that was only interrupted by your sobs and unsteady breaths.
It wasn’t until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you were reminded that there were other people around you. You were not alone on the world, no matter how much you would like to be now.
‘I’m sorry for that,’ the person belonging to the hand said and they sat down next to you.
You looked to your side and saw the person who you most and least wanted to see right now.
Remus was watching you with his golden eyes, his hand still on your shoulder. You wanted to say something, do something. But you could not think of anything. Everything felt lost.
‘I know this is probably not how you wanted that to come out,’ Remus said with a light chuckle.
‘I wanted to tell you, I really did,’ you started with a hoarse voice. ‘But I was afraid. I’m sorry.’
‘You have nothing to be sorry about. I should be sorry, I am sorry.’
You looked at Remus and watched him struggle for his words. Now you were so close to him, you noticed things you had never seen before, like the light freckles on his nose and the scars that walked over his cheek. You saw how his hair was just long enough to hide his ears and you saw that he had very long eyelashes. How was it that you had never noticed how beautiful he was?
‘Maybe I should have showed you this the day I got it, but I was afraid too. We never really talked and I know my friends don’t like you. I feel awful for not stopping them this morning, but if I am being honest, I was curious. I was convinced that they were wrong, but I wanted to see what you were hiding instead.’
‘What do you need to show me?’ you asked.
‘This,’ Remus said and he put out his left arm.
Your eyes walked over his skin and stopped at your name. That was your name, on the same place where his name was on your arm. You were Remus’ soulmate. And he was yours.
From your name you looked at Remus. He was watching you with a nervous smile, that only widened when you smiled back at him. He dropped his arm and leaned closer to you, until your lips were almost touching.
‘Never thought that I would find my soulmate,’ he whispered as he brought his hand closer to your face.
‘Tell me about it,’ you chuckled back softly and leaned in to kiss him.
You found your soulmate.
------------------------
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#dev's celebration#marauders week#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin imagine#marauders x reader#marauders#marauders imagine#harry potter#harry potter x reader#harry potter imagine#sirius black#james potter#sirius black x reader#james potter x reader#slytherin
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"write for me" (t. kei x fem!reader)
summary; after years of crushing on you, the introverted writer from class, tsukishima finds a way to let all his feelings out. if he couldn't talk to you, then he would write to you.
genre; fluff.
warnings; none.
word count; 1.3k
autor's note; i'm sorry but i thought once about tsukki being a writer and here i am now lmao. i could totally see him using writing as a coping mechanism bc he can't express his feelings. is this self inserted? yes very much. anyways, enjoy.
everyone knew tsukishima was smart, he liked to read and was and extreme geek. he could tell you trivias from every marvel movie if you asked. maybe that's what drawn him to you. imagine how hard his jaw dropped when he saw his middle school crush in his same classroom, there, in karasuno. to yamaguchi, it was hilarious. your figure hadn't change so much during holidays, if anything, you were even prettier. of course, tsukishima would never say that out loud. he had made sure to get a seat from behind you, in order to make his staring less obvious, but never escaping from yamaguchi's comments on how he should at least talk to you.
the first time he noticed you, was during a break in your old school. you were sitting in the floor with a notebook supported on your thighs, writing something with a weird speed. even between all those noisy kids, balls flying around, you seemed so focused on your writing that it almost looked out of place. kei's head was filled with questions on what got you so excited to write, because being a writer himself, he knew that inspiration was a hard thing to get. since that moment, his eyes always found a way back to you. sometimes, you just stared at a blank paper, or write your brainstorm down. it would be a lie if he said he never wondered what was on that paper, on those notebooks. more than once he stayed up all night thinking about it.
"there are tons of others schools! it has to be a sign, tsukki!" yamaguchi had tried to convince him to talk to you for ages, but an uncommon shyness struck the blonde whenever it came to you.
"shut up, yamaguchi" he always shut him down, but his friend understood, and seeing tsukishima get flustered was always a pleasure to sight.
in the whole time he knew you, you never seemed sad. yes, you were usually by yourself, but he catch on those small smiles whenever you were satisfied by what you wrote, or when you laughed at yourself for any reason. he was sure that, at least throughout middle school, you were happy. someway along the way, it changed. you were making new friends, and to anyone who didn't pay attention, you were happy as always, but he knew you weren't. tsukishima desperately wanted to talk to you, he hated seeing those bags under your eyes, that fake smile. he wanted you to be happy and didn't know how to help you.
"hey y/n.
you looked sad today, i wanted to talk to you but i couldn't. is it because you stopped writing? if it is, please don't, i look forward to read something from you.
ps. please don't get scared, i'm not a stalker. i just like you, a lot"
he folded the little note in two, he would deliver it after practice in your locker. if he said he wasn't nervous, he would be the biggest liar ever. his hands were shaking while writing, in practice, he couldn't block a single hit because he was too busy thinking about your reaction. of course you would get scared, who wouldn't? he basically said that he watched you enough to know when you are sad and asked you to keep doing something as private as writing. but he did worry about you. the only other option was to actually talk to you, but that was not happening. first, because he had a reputation to keep. tsukishima kei, the sarcasm in human form, showing feelings over a crush? nope, not in this lifetime. second, at least this way he had the benefit of the doubt. if you thought he was some cute, sweet boy, maybe you wouldn't run away, but if you knew it was him, it was over. most people were scared of him.
he decided to do it, against all his better judgement.
the next day, he made yamaguchi pretend to talk to him near you locker only to see your reaction. every minute seemed eternal, until you finally arrived. he couldn't avoid thinking how pretty you looked in your uniform. both him and yamaguchi, who he had updated of his doings, stared at you while the piece of paper fell to your feet. thank god the halls were full enough for you to not feel their piercing gaze, because they weren't even blinking. as you read, tsukishima could swore his heart stopped beating. but when he saw your lips curve in a smile? he was done. he had made you smile. you were smiling at his handwriting, at something he wrote, damn, it felt like a whole world had been presented before him. he didn't had butterflies in his belly, he had a complete fleet of birds.
it became a routine to leave you little notes, saying how cute he thought you were, or him asking things, even if you couldn't respond, he just wanted you to know he cared.
"hey y/n.
i thought you presentation in japanese history was amazing. and don't even think i'm biased, because of course i am, but that's not the point. how you smiled at the end made it ten times better.
ps. that hair pin looked really pretty"
as usual, he waited until the end of practice to leave it. a paper folded was stuck with tape outside your locker that time, blocking the entrance. his heart started to beat faster, had you left him a reply that time?
"hi, you.
it's been a month since you started leaving me notes, it would be rude of me to not answer. you make me feel really good, you know? i was surprised at first, nobody else notice how sad i was but you. i'm not anymore, mostly thanks to your words. i can't get you out my mind, it bothered me to not have a face to place in my thoughts. i wanted, no, i want to meet you so bad. do you really like me? i like to think you wouldn't lie to me, so i won't lie to you. i'm pretty sure i like you too. i can even hear you thinking, how could i like you if i don't know who you are?, well, think again, tsukishima kei."
the first thing he felt was fear. god, he was so scared. he re-read it, it said you liked him back. did you though? he was so... unlikeable. someone as nice as you just couldn't be into him. but he wasn't anyone to say who you could or could not like, so–
"hey, tsukishima" that voice. he had heard it so many time, but for the first time was actually to him. his name between your lips sounded like a completely different thing, something amazing tsukki could hear for hours non stop. slowly, he turned around to face you. you were still in your uniform, meaning you had stayed there for three hours just waiting for him. "aren't you gonna ask me how i figured it out?"
a soft how left his throat. you were kind of entertained by his reaction, you understood the shocked, you had felt it when you realized it was him sending you those cute notes four days ago.
"when the guy you like since middle school starts acting strange, you can tell. and the way you wrote, like you knew me from a long time. i was between you and yamaguchi, so i took my chances on you" both of you were to afraid to move, scared that the other was going to disappear "would it be okay if i ask you on a date?" all your confidence had left your body before asking that question.
"that's all i want, dumbass" he answered, going back to be his usual self. you laughed, making his heart skip a beat. "c-can i... get closer?" that was everything you needed to walk towards him, your moves seemed to synchronize perfectly with his.
kei's arms wrapped around your neck, him being to tall to reach your waist, and your arms were around his torso. he felt so warm, like the hug you were expecting your whole life.
#tsukishima x reader#haikyuu tsukishima#hq tsukki#tsukishima scenarios#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x you#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima#tsukishima haikyuu#tsukishima imagine#tsukki fluff#tsukki x reader#– star's; originals! [❀]
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full scoop - jj m.
summary: after returning to the outer banks for spring break, you’re pleasantly surprised to see JJ again. Apparently, he missed you more than you thought
request: I love ur writing it’s so good :’) if ur taking requests, can u do #4 from the prompt list with jj 💕 “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”
pairings: jj maybank x reader
warnings: spilled ice cream
a/n: reposting this bc it got no notes and I absolutely love this so ...tumblr do better
“Hey, sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you could tell me where the beach was?”
As you turned, you extended a hand towards the direction of the pier, “Yeah, it’s just down… JJ?!”
The boy in front of you grinned at your shocked expression, eagerly returning your quick hug. You hadn’t seen him since the summer the two of you had gone your separate ways.
After graduation, JJ had decided to take a gap year. Or a couple. He wasn’t sure. He had always assumed you would do the same, or at least stay local, but your plans had changed. You had applied for a school in the North East without his knowledge earlier in the year, assuming you wouldn’t even get in. But you did, and they offered you a scholarship. Even if you wanted to, your parents wouldn’t let you pass up the opportunity.
The day you had told him had been one of the worst for the both of you. It felt like when JJ had lost John B. to Sarah. Except, with that, he had gotten the chance to know Sarah. He wouldn’t be able to follow you to your school, nor would he get to meet all the people you met.
You had tried keeping in touch after you had left, but it hadn’t lasted for much longer than a few phone calls. You were busy with school, and JJ was busy with the other Pogues. You both knew during that last phone call that things wouldn’t be the same. The two of you felt like instantly, in that moment, you were shifted worlds apart.
It has been just over a year now, with you having just returned from college for spring break.
As the two of you pulled away, you tucked some hair behind your ear, subtly taking him in. He looked the same, but somehow different. Happier.
“Long time no see,” He teased. “How’s that fancy college treating you?”
You laughed as you responded, your words accompanied by a small shrug, “It’s nice. It’s big and I love it but…”
“It’s not the Outer Banks,” he finishes, gauging your expression.
“Exactly.”
The silence that followed was awkward. It wasn’t that the two of you weren’t brainstorming ways to continue your conversation, it was that you both couldn’t seem to decide on how to keep it going.
Clearing his throat lightly, he beat you to it.
“I was heading down to the beach… if, you know, you wanted to join me?”
You weren’t busy. That much was obvious. But you still took the time to think over his offer. You weren’t sure why you hesitated, but you did.
“Okay,” You nod, flashing him a tiny grin, “I’d like that.”
TIME slipped away from the two of you much too fast for your liking. You had spent the day trying to learn how to surf. It was a lot of falling off the board and getting made fun of by JJ, but you had fun. It felt easy between the two of you, the remaining awkwardness fading almost as soon as you had gotten into the water.
He’d even bought ice cream for you both.
You smile as you remembered the encounter from just hours earlier, and the way he had mentioned the hangout you two had first had in the same place.
You were both so awkward around each other. And by both, you meant you. JJ was his charming self.
“No, I swear, I was super nervous when I took you there!”
You shook your head at the boy in front of you, shoving a spoonful of your ice cream into your mouth, “Nu uh! I was nervous. I thought we were on a date the entire time and then you just mentioned that we would be really great friends at the end of it!”
He groaned at the memory, eliciting a laugh from you as you watched his cheeks tint red in embarrassment, “I can’t believe I said that. I had planned to kiss you but then I chicken out and—”
“And friend zoned me.”
“Yep,” He solemnly nodded, an apologetic look on his features, “I’m sorry.”
Waving him off, you shrugged, “JJ, don’t even worry about it, we were kids. It’s water under the bridge now. You were right, anyway.”
“Yeah,” he speaks, before pausing.
“Right about what, exactly?”
“Us being good friends,” You smile at him, gesturing with your hands as the two of you walk along the sand.
“I didn’t think we would at first, if I’m being honest. But we were. You were my best friend.”
“Were?” He nudged you, chuckling.
“Hey, you were the one who stopped calling me!”
“Only because you were always too busy with your new college friends.”
“Not true,” you reprimanded, clicking your tongue.
“I made new friends, but I always liked my old ones more.”
“How was that, anyway? Making friends and… stuff.”
Ignoring the weird infliction of voice when he said stuff, you just shrugged, “It was okay. My roommate was the one who introduced me to people, mostly.”
JJ nodded, smirking at you, “I bet you managed to land all of the boys up there. That’s why you never called, you didn’t have time with all of your new boyfriends.”
You laughed loudly, shoving his free arm with your own, “Don’t even. We both know that out of the two of us, you’re the one who pulls.”
You watched as he stumbled dramatically from your push, flashing you a smile that caused those all too familiar butterflies to flutter in your stomach.
“We both know there’s only one girl for me.”
Ignoring the way his stare burned into you, you glance down at the sand before looking back over at him. A smile instantly erupted on your features at your own idea, as you took off.
“Race ya!” Was all you could manage to call back, laughing as you heard JJ’s groans of protest as he hurried to catch up.
Naturally, you had won. You had made it to the small tree further down the beach seconds before JJ, jumping in excitement for your own victory.
“Hah! I won!”
As you hopped around, you topple over your ice cream, gasping loudly as it spills onto the sand. Just your luck that it would spill not as you were running, but rather right after you stopped.
Still trying to catch his breath, he laughs as he watches you kneel besides the mess, hurriedly scooping whatever you could back up with your spoon.
“Bet you don’t feel like a winner now.”
You frowned as you glanced over at him, still hunched over, clutching his own ice cream protectively.
“JJ… it’s ruined!”
“Just wipe the sand off.”
You stared at him in disbelief, scoffing lightly, “Right, maybe I should just wash it off in the ocean while I’m at it?”
“That’s honestly not a bad idea! It’d wash away the sand.”
He wasn’t joking. In fact, he was the most serious he had been the whole day.
“And the rest of the ice cream! It’s water. Salt water.”
JJ has to ponder your words. He was playing out different ice cream washing scenarios in his head, trying to figure out which would cause the least damage. He didn’t think you were right, but he pretended that you were, for your sake.
Sitting down besides you, he offers up his own, smiling, “Have mine, then.”
“That’s not fair to you.”
He shrugged, smiling sweetly at you, “It’s fine, Y/N. You want it more anyway.”
Taking the cup he was practically forcing into your hand, you pout, “I feel bad.”
“Don’t, it’s fine. And stop pouting, it’s cute but it won’t work.”
Blushing slightly, you roll your eyes, grabbing a spoonful and holding it out for him, “Whatever. But we’re sharing.”
Gladly taking what you were offering, JJ smirked as his lips wrapped around the spoon before pulling away, causing your blush to darken even more.
Dipping it back into the ice cream, you twirled it around before bringing it up to your mouth.
“This is kind of gross. We’re swapping spit right now.”
JJ laughs at your comment, leaning back against the tree bark as he watched you, “Too bad it’s like that. I could think of a better way.”
His response sent you into a stunned silence, your eyes staying focusing on the grains of sand in front of you. If you had to pick between counting out every grain of sand on this beach and feeling as awkward as you currently felt, you’d immediately start counting.
“I… are you flirting with me?”
“You finally noticed?”
You felt like your heart would simultaneously beat out of your chest and stop altogether. Had he really just said that?
“What?”
Moving forward to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, it was JJ’s turn to blush, “I’m always trying to flirt with you. You just never respond. I was starting to think you just really didn’t like me.”
“I… I thought you were joking! I didn’t think you could be serious, I’m not your type.”
He rolled his eyes in response, shaking his head, “You’re the only person who’s ever been my type.”
It was quiet for a moment between the two of you, gazes flickering from lips to eyes, back to lips. You both leaned in slowly, careful not to move too fast in fear of making the moment disappear.
When your lips finally touched, the kiss was soft. JJ’s hands found their way to your face, cupping your jaw as he held you close to him. Your hands stayed in your lap, desperately clinging to the small ice cream cup in your hands, your body leaning forward to keep the space between the two of you minimal.
You were the first to pull away, grinning widely at the boy sat across from you,
“That’s really cheesy.”
“You know what else is really cheesy? This dick!”
“JJ, I cannot stress this enough, I find you utterly repulsive.”
With a wide grin, he pulls you the rest of the way to him, resting his forehead against yours, “Fine, then I’m taking my ice cream back.”
Gasping, you pull yourself from him, holding the cup out of his grasp with a glare, “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
As you get up, he follows, chasing you around the sand as the two of you laugh. Eventually catching up to you, he wraps his arms around you from behind, lifting you off the ground and knocking the cup over in the process.
“JJ! The ice cream!”
“Next time I’ll buy you two,” was all he muttered, lips already finding their way to your cheek.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank outerbanks#jj outer banks#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank outer banks#jj maybank x reader imagine#jj maybank x you#jj maybank outer banks#outer banks#outer banks imagine#outerbanks#obx
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Heather Part Two (j.m.)
A/N: Okay, so I have decided to start saying as little as possible in my A/Ns just to see if it brings in more interaction, if you guys want me to continue my ramblings, just shoot me a DM or something and I won’t stop them. This is a repost bc nobody saw this the first time?? Pls interact with this (preferably reblogging, but likes are good too!)
Anywho, this is the second part of Heather (my JJ imagine based on Heather by Conan Gray) and this is told from JJ’s perspective, I got this idea when I found this kinda parody/cover of the original song which will be linked below. I put some different scenes in this one too so it’s not just a retelling of my first part. Anyway, enjoy!!
Show/Movie: Outer Banks
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader
Warnings: Sad, angst, longing, negative thoughts about oneself (appearance, personality, etc), comparing to other people, jealousy, unspoken feelings
Might do a part three? I’ll probably do a part three.
Heather Cover by Zachary Tay
Part One | Part Two - You’re here!
masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation
- not my gif -
He didn’t technically see her when she arrived at the beach, but he still knew she was there before she wandered down the dunes. He couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder, trying to get a peek of her. There she was, her shoes swinging by her side, her hair blowing in the wind as she walked. She didn’t look towards the group of her friends, instead, she scanned the beach and JJ found himself missing her gorgeous eyes. He watched her, her eyes slowly drifting towards the fire JJ sat at. In a spilt second, their eyes connected and JJ wished he could stay in her gaze forever, but her eyes were ripped from his as she breezed past the group.
The girl under his arm laughed loudly, making him draw his eyes away from Y/N. He looked at the black-haired girl (Heather) donned in his sweater, clinging to him as she laughed at something John B had said. “What’s so funny,” JJ asked, trying to play off his absence. He didn’t really listen to John B’s recount. “Oh, must have had to heard it in the moment, I guess.” He mumbled, his eyes following Y/N as Jack, her co-worker from The Wreck ran towards her, a large smile on his face. He took in Y/N’s appearance, the sweater she wore was too big for her, it certainly wasn’t hers. It dawned on him like a lighting strike; it was Jack’s sweater. He felt a pang in his heart, remembering how she looked in his own sweater, the very sweater Heather wore right in that moment.
He remembered how good Y/N looked in his sweater and how often she wore it after he had given it to her. On Heather, it was just a piece of polyester fabric, but on Y/N, it was much more than just a sweater. The day she gave his sweater back to him was the day he concluded that she didn’t like him. He couldn’t imagine how he even thought she would like him, he’s not even good enough for his father and he could barely stand himself. How the hell would Y/N want him if he didn’t even want himself? He didn’t even understand how Heather liked him.
His eyes followed Jack as he ran off once again, obviously apologizing profusely to Y/N. Jack was everything JJ wasn’t: sweet, smart, hard-working, career driven, and loved. JJ wanted to hate Jack, but he couldn’t, he was too good of a person. He could see that Y/N and Jack would make a good couple, he could see why Y/N would have her gaze set on him. His dark hair, his tall stature, his boy-next-door smile - he was the complete package.
Setting his eyes on Y/N yet again, he saw her sit down on a piece of driftwood, staring out at the ocean as the waves lapped up towards her barefeet. He let himself imagine that the sweater she was wrapped up in was his. He often replayed the December night he gave his sweater to her in his head, imagining that he had actually done what he wanted - kissing her. He liked to live in that alternate story at night, laying in his bed. He sighed, glad he didn’t kiss her in the long-run, for he didn’t know who he liked more: Y/N or Heather. “JJ, you should tell Heather about that one time when John B was high off his ass when CPS came knocking on his door.” Kie laughed, capturing JJ’s attention from the girl sitting on the driftwood.
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure.” JJ laughed, remembering that day as he launched into his story. Though his eyes weren’t on her, Y/N still plagued his mind, having been there that day as well, skipping school to smoke with JJ and John B. He laughed as he retold the story, poking fun at John B, but leaving Y/n out of the story, not wanting to pull her into his fling with Heather, knowing there will be drama if he did.
Though he was immersed in the story he was telling, he still noticed Y/N standing and walking along the beach, leaving the party before it even started. The bleeding colours in the sky made her skin glow with pink and orange, making her look like the figure of beauty. As she walked away, JJ could have cried. He didn’t understand how he, the boy who wanted nothing to do with the messiness of love, ended up in this situation.
____
The words Kie had told him earlier rattled in his brain like a single pill in a bottle. His mind played that moment back like a movie reel continuously playing. Once it ended, it restarted again. Like a painful torture device used to drive him to the brink of insanity.
“I don’t get why Y/N keeps avoiding us! We never see her anymore, not since Heather started hanging out with us,” JJ groaned, plunking himself down on the couch dramatically. He had asked Y/N earlier at school (after cornering her at her locker) if she wanted to have a movie night just like old times, but she had told him she was going to study for a big biology test she had. “Why does she even need to study anyway? She’s at the top of her biology class, only second to Pope, of course.” JJ threw in the last comment, pleasing his friend who sat beside him on the couch, a freshly popped bowl of popcorn in his lap.
“You guys do know why, right?” Kie asked, looking over her shoulder at them as she shifted through the DVD collection, the group deciding to go old school for the night. JJ shook his head while John B and Pope both nodded, making noises of understanding. JJ looked around, confusion clearly painted on his face.
“Y/N still likes JJ.” Pope commented, tossing a handful of popcorn into his mouth, chewing it as if what he had just said was common knowledge.
“What?” JJ asked, panicked, glad that Heather was hanging out with some of her other friends tonight instead of being with them. If she had been here, he would have never be given this piece of information.
“You didn’t know?” John B asked, bewildered that JJ hadn’t picked up on anything.
“Obviously not-” JJ cried, his eyes wide.
“It was obvious, we all thought you had known by at least December third when you gave her your sweater, we thought that was you making your move on her finally.” Kie explained, shrugging.
JJ still couldn’t believe that. If only he had seen how much she liked him, maybe he wouldn’t be praying for his eyes to catch her’s every time she walked by him. Maybe he wouldn’t want to cry every time they broke eye contact. Maybe he wouldn’t have assumed she likes Jack. He groaned, flopping around in the spare bed at John B’s, staring up at the dark ceiling as moonlight casted the window’s shadow onto the white surface.
If he had known how much Y/N liked him that night, he wouldn’t be questioning who he liked more still. Maybe he didn’t like Heather at all. Now that he knew that Y/N likes him, he started to realize that maybe he didn’t truly like Heather, instead, only liking the idea of the distraction from the one he really liked. Though he realized this, he couldn’t do anything about it anytime soon. He had plans to eat lunch tomorrow with Heather and the group, he couldn’t break up with Heather at The Wreck.
_____
Y/N was working today. That was the whole reason they were eating at The Wreck, to see her. John B and Pope missed her, Kie was able to see her during the shifts they shared or during shift changes, but the boys hadn’t seen her. JJ and Heather stood on the deck, leaning against the railing and JJ was giving the performance of his life. He couldn’t have Heather thinking that something was going on with him (he still had no idea who he liked more) so he was trying to act as normal as possible around her despite the fact that a war raged in his mind.
He tried to keep his eyes on Heather as she talked adamantly. JJ nodded along, not really listening. Heather was beautiful and kind, but JJ grew bored easily. They had nothing in common. He was a surfer, she was from the city filled with concrete buildings and shopping malls. She just didn’t understand the joy in the little things. When JJ wanted to stargaze, she’d rather gaze at a TV screen. When JJ wanted to just sit on the beach and listen to the waves, she wanted to take pictures. When JJ just wanted to sit on his surfboard and let the waves roll under him, she didn’t want to ruin her make-up.
Her hand squeezed his as she asked him about the stores he shopped at. He, not wanting to ignore her, joined her one-sided conversation and explained his mode of gaining clothes. She listened for the most part, but listening wasn’t really Heather’s strong suit. She loved to talk, not that JJ minded, but he would also like to have a conversation without being interrupted with a completely different story. He shot a glance in through the door, seeing Y/N at a table, talking with the costumers. She nodded, a shining smile on her face. JJ loved talking with Y/N. She’d listen, she’d talk. He’d listen, he’d talk. It was a perfectly balanced conversation with Y/N.
He looked back down at Heather when she had asked him yet another question, but JJ wasn’t listening. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked, blinking. Heather giggled, thinking JJ was just a spacey type person who stared off in the distance, zoning out easily.
“I asked about your shark tooth necklace, I’ve always wanted one.” She told him, the hand, that wasn’t in his, reaching up to fiddle with the shark tooth. JJ looked down at it, smiling fondly.
“My friend made it for me with the shark tooth I found, I’ve never taken it off since they gave it to me.” He left out that it was Y/N who made it for him while she was going through her necklace making phase in middle school. She had made it too big originally, but it was okay since JJ grew since then.
“Oh, well, maybe I could wear it sometime,” Heather asked flirtatiously. JJ gulped, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to give it to her, but he didn’t want to start a fight before they ate a meal with his friends in public. Instead of answering, he pressed his lips to her’s in a lingering, long kiss. Heather smiled, giggling against his lips. Pulling away from the kiss, JJ glanced at the parking lot to see if John B and Pope were there yet, but his eyes came up with nothing. Heather shivered as a strong wind blew by them. “I’m a little cold.”
JJ looked down at her, seeing that she didn’t have his sweater on. It was different, when Y/N had his sweater, she always wore it, or at least brought it, just in case she got cold. Heather didn’t bring it anywhere unless JJ asked about it. Wordlessly, JJ unlaced their fingers, dropping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. “I wonder if Y/N is cold? She doesn’t have a sweater on, only a t-shirt.” He thought, watching the parking lot out of the corner of his eye. He sighed, trying to clear his mind.
“Yo! Let’s get some grub! I’m starving,”John B cheered, piling out of the van with Pope who cheered in agreement. JJ pulled away a bit too quick to play it off as normal while John B and Pope jogged up the stairs, their sneakers slapping the wooden deck. They walked right into the restaurant, leaving Heather and JJ to follow them. The bell above the door dinged, making Y/N and Jack look up from what they were doing. JJ looked up, seeing Jack leaning across Y/N, his shoulder touching her torso ever so lightly as he cleaned up spilt water. “Hi, Y/N! Where is your section?” John B asked.
“Sorry, John B, I’ll have to take your table so she can get cleaned up, next time.” Jack told him, getting another dry towel to try and help her dry her clothes so she wasn’t dripping everywhere. JJ could sense John B’s disappointment, and he had to admit he was a little bit disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to hear Y/N’s sweet voice that he missed so much.
“Thanks, Jack,” John B nodded his chin in Jack’s direction. “Maybe we’ll talk before we leave, Y/N.” Y/N looked back up from her shirt at the mention of her name, nodding. Their eyes connected as Kie and Heather jumped into a conversation. Every time their eyes connected, it was such a relief to JJ it truly was a sight for sore eyes. Much to his disappointment, their eye contact was gone as fast as it came when Jack interrupted.
“That should be good, Y/N,” She looked from JJ’s eyes to meet Jack’s. The sight of her eyes connecting with Jack’s made JJ want to cry, missing that tiny connection that seemed to be the extent of their friendship these days. “You should go get changed, I’ll take these to the table for you, table four, right?” The group started to move, but JJ wanted to stay there, see if their eye would meet again before she disappeared to change, but he had to go with them. He was just out of earshot when she replied to Jack who carried the tray of drinks towards table four effortlessly.
____
He knew he shouldn’t have done this at school. He was kicking himself as Heather weeped, her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Heather,” He whispered, nervously looking at the crowd watching them. They were stood next to the side of the building, the crowd gathering in the parking lot. He had tried to do it privately, but he also wanted a clean cut. When he saw his sweater in Heather’s hand, he had known that today was the day. “It’s just not working out.” He tried to console her, his fist gripping the sweater he held now.
The group watching whispered, making JJ roll his eyes. Now he was going to be painted the villain, the heartless asshole who broke up with the girl in front of the whole school even though they just see her weeping and gasping, not the part where JJ was actually considerate for once. Normally, it was a harsh slap to his cheek and a few tears slipping past their eyes as they walked away, not full on sobs. Especially since they were only going out for three weeks - tops.
Heather looked up from her hands, letting her arms swing at her sides as she glared at JJ. Black streaks of makeup cascading down her cheeks. With a final, harsh glare at JJ, she ran off, the group of people parting to let her through. JJ watched her run, his shoulders deflating at his ruined chance of keeping the break-up private. His eyes landed on one of the pairs of people Heather parted in her haste to escape: Y/N and Jack. They stood side by side, Jack holding both their books in his hands, both their bookbag straps on his shoulders.
The group quickly dispersed, giving JJ a perfect view of them. He could see Jack say something to Y/N before she said something back, their eyes catching each other, once again making eye contact. JJ was so absorbed in her eyes that he didn’t notice the sympathetic smile she sent his way. It felt like forever as he stared into her eyes, her just staring back. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to stay, but he couldn’t just break-up with Heather and then turn around, rush towards Y/N, sweep her off her feet and profess his love for her - then he would be an asshole.
“Come on, Y/N, let’s go. We can’t be late for our shift.” JJ heard Jack tell her, forcing her to break away from JJ’s eyes. He felt tears prick his eyes at the loss of their moment. His eyes never left her, once again hoping for their eyes to connect again, even though he had to watch her eyes connect with Jack’s which caused his heart to throb painfully. Watching her turn and walk towards Jack’s pick-up truck was the sight that made him want to die, then the pain in his heart would stop - right? The picture of her sitting in his passanger seat didn’t sit right with JJ. The thump of Jack tossing their books and bags in the bed of his truck made JJ flinch, but he still never took his eyes off Y/N, not even when Jack slipped onto the bench seat beside her, starting his truck and slamming his door.
His pleas were answered when Y/N turned to gaze out the window, their eyes connecting once again in a fleeting moment before Jack slowly pulled out of the spot, exiting the nearly empty parking lot. JJ watched the truck as it drove down the road, waiting until it was out of his sight before he moved. He found out who he liked more. It was Y/N. It was always Y/N.
#pappydaddy's writing#jj maybank imagines#jj maybank preferences#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank oneshot#jj maybank imagine#jj x reader#jj imagine#jj#jj outer banks#jj obx#jj obx fic#jj obx imagine#jj angst#jj maybank angst#angst#obx angst#obx imagine#obx jj#obx#imagine#part two#john b routledge#john b#jj maybank#kiara carrera#pope hayward#kie outer banks#pope outer banks#john b outer banks
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OKAY NEO THOUGHTS NOW THAT I’VE BEATEN IT AND HAD TIME TO MARINATE. no spoilers for another day bc i haven’t finished it yet, but i did go “no, why shan’t i? i have the internet” and watched the secret endings on youtube so those and the secret reports will be discussed. yeah. so here’s some thoughts. i’m going to talk a lot about the more contentious things, i think. and again i haven’t finished another day so nothing to do with that, but of course major ending spoilers for the main scenario.
these are my opinions both as a writer and a media consumer, so there’s kinda two levels here. it is very freeform “as i think of it” structurally so my sincerest apologies if it’s all over the place. i am trying to keep specific topics confined rather than splattering the same plot point/whatever all through the post, but it’s not like i’m posting a peer-revied academic essay here. it’s also fucking enormous and i would say sorry but that would be a lie.
the majority of the game, i actually really enjoyed. the localization was excellent and i can’t praise it enough. i know people threw fits over the “horrible overstep” of... teenagers using slang. but did you know, in real life, teenagers use slang? even in japan, there’s slang? wild but true! the dialogue was great, and while i can’t say much re: the jp cast since i played in english, the newcomers for the english cast were spectacular. i actually think the newcomers were, in some cases, stronger than the returning cast. even in characters where i didn’t like the voice (nagi had to grow on me, i admit it), they were a fantastic match for the character’s personality.
the emotional beats re: character deaths, typically, landed the way i think the writers wanted; kanon’s death in week 3 had me devastated even though i could see it coming a mile away. i think that’s a testament to the best parts of the writing; as soon as i understood how the current game was being run, i knew it was fairly inevitable that every other team would eventually lose. odds would be that, barring something like someone changing teams or a team merger, the majority of the other teams would be completely wiped out. i knew far in advance that kanon would likely not make it to the end of the story, but it still fucked me up when it finally happened not just because i cared about kanon, but also because of how much the other characters cared about her. some character deaths affected me far less, of course. i think kanon was the epitome of “this hit exactly as hard as the writers wanted it to”, but i do feel they fell short with others. ayano’s lack of development really hurt my ability to be saddened by her death, especially when it was so clear that she set up her own possession as a trap for shoka. it undermined things for shoka in general, because while she was devastated to lose ayano, the game did a poor job at making their relationship tangible and meaningful. i felt worse (not necessarily sadder, just worse) about motoi’s death, and i didn’t like motoi. speaking of him...
the biggest issue i have with the game is a chronic square enix issue. kubo is the Man Pulling The Strings, whatever, this is fine. the problem is that he, minamimoto, motoi, and arguably susukichi are the only characters in the game with dark skin. they are all morally grey at best. i don’t think i need to elaborate on why this is an issue. we’re not going to pretend that racism and colorism don’t exist in japan. i’m just going to say that all of the dark-skinned characters are either totally evil, excessively violent, and/or morally dubious. this is my biggest qualm, but i don’t feel it needs more elaboration. yes, i know motoi turns it around in the end. yes, i know susukichi ultimately changes sides as well, and he’s ultimately portrayed as sympathetic. minamimoto is........ his own beast. but the fact remains that we don’t get a single major character who’s darker and unambiguously heroic.
second big issue is that while i understand the decision to keep shiki off camera until the very end for emotional impact, i feel like this was to the detriment of the story and to the detriment of said impact. she was mentioned, sure, and she was briefly seen from the shoulders down in a cutscene long before her introduction, but i feel that this was ultimately for the worse. her absence in the plot made her a borderline non-entity that can easily leave the audience going “why should i care about this?” on what’s supposed to be a huge emotional cathartic moment. yes, people should know this is a sequel and neku and shiki’s friendship was a crucial part of the original game, and much of the endgame of neo makes no sense if you’re unfamiliar with the original, but their interactions in the ending felt incredibly shallow. and i think this is because of how little shiki appears and how isolated she is from her other friends. eri is unseen and unmentioned. she doesn’t interact with rhyme. she hardly interacts with beat, using him as a translator at best. her other relationships are just... stagnant at best, ignored at worst, and despite having had just as vital of a role in the first game as beat did, she does nothing of import onscreen. her only narrative actions are “fix mr mew (mentioned but not seen)” and “be sad about neku”. so, functionally...
for some reason (we know why) the story decided that the only thing that was important to shiki was seeing neku. but by holding off on this reveal of her, we lost the impact that their meeting could have had. because the game refused to show her it didn’t show how much his absence was affecting her, which leaves their reunion feeling incredibly hollow. shiki was gone for upwards of 90% of the game. if not for the first game, this reunion would mean nothing; the narrative does a terrible job of reminding the audience that neku and shiki have a strong relationship and i don’t know if it’s that they expected the first game to have done the heavy lifting, or they thought that what neo gave us was good rather than “good enough”. imo this was an enormous failure and i wish we had gotten more for her both as part of the plot and as a character.
this was an issue present with rhyme as well imo, though to a lesser degree. i think they should have given up the ghost much sooner on confirming that the shadowed figure was rhyme; it was obvious by the time they showed us her silhouette, so i don’t know why the narrative held off on showing her. they didn’t have to introduce her to rindo (or give her the name splash screen) yet, but people who played the first game and are paying attention know it’s rhyme, so why bother hiding her? most of what rhyme accomplishes in this game is off-camera as well, but she has double the screen time that shiki gets.
the shiki thing is another symptom of a common squeenix problem these days, which is poorly-handled implied romantic interests. and i think that was also present with how the end of the game treated shoka. rindo and shoka as an implied romance in general did not bother me; more than a lot of squeenix protags, and perhaps primarily because of the excellent job the english cast did, i actually was unbothered by the suggestion of budding romantic feelings because it felt genuine. they actually felt like a pair of teenagers who were starting to be interested in each other, trying to play it cool and prioritize. this, and shoka’s characterization in general, is really helped by the reveal of swallow’s identity; it retroactively heightens her closeness to rindo specifically and offers enormous insight into her decision to help the team covertly. however, i think this budding implied romance was severely undermined by having other characters comment on it, especially because it felt so out of place timing-wise whenever someone commented. it was never warranted; there are times where they seem to be... not flirting, but not doing a good job of pretending there isn’t an interest. this is not when comments come. the comments come when they are having a totally normal interaction that does not suggest any non-platonic feelings whatsoever.
up until the final day, i had fairly ambivalent feelings about the idea of them as the designated hetero pairing. i felt it was a vast improvement from recent shoehorned romances in squeenix properties. the ending made things much more contentious to me, specifically how shoka is vanished by joshua. the audience should at least have the suspicion that he’s reviving her, but the circumstances surrounding it are the problem more than joshua being a deus ex machina. it’s not the first time joshua was a troll re: reviving someone, but the context of why shoka’s revival is necessary is, well... unnecessary.
they barely foreshadow the shinjuku rules re: reapers, and i will freely admit it’s not remotely ooc for shoka to hide something like that until she can’t any more. but they seem to be just a contrived excuse for shoka to be taken away... and from the framing of it, not from the player, but from rindo. which, i don’t know that i need elaborate on why i wasn’t fond of that. and i won’t lie - i know everybody beefed it in those cutscenes, including beat and neku. but when the dissonance noise grabbed shoka it gave me the exact same vibe as the demon tide grabbing kairi in kh3, and i don’t think i need to elaborate more on why that would put a bad taste in my mouth and make me fearful for shoka’s future treatment in the game. i was worried that the narrative was going to yank her away from rindo like a prize being snatched from him, and it did! while i do also think it’s ic for joshua to fuck around the way he did when reviving her, it also seems contrived and brings up a major question.
if shoka is still playing by shinjuku rules, why does shibuya’s composer have the ability to overturn her erasure? yes, i know, shinjuku is gone, but its composer is still active. surely joshua having the authority to do what he did indicates that on a cosmic bureaucracy level, shoka is a shibuya reaper. the secret reports offer a potential that joshua exploited a loophole by waiting until the second after the shinjuku rules resulted in shoka’s soul being dissolved in order to snatch it up, so perhaps the explanation is that her erasure meant she was technically no longer a shinjuku reaper and no longer beholden to its rules. but that doesn’t answer a different question that honestly bothers me more than the admittedly sorta insignificant question of whether or not joshua overstepped in reviving shoka.
shinjuku’s game has ended because shinjuku has ended; why are its rules still in play for former shinjuku reapers? i am aware that shiba is the conductor “legally” and he has made changes to shibuya’s game, but they’re careful to specify that the “ex-reapers are erased at the end of the game” rules are from shinjuku and do not apply to shibuya reapers. is she considered by the higher plane to be joshua’s underling and not hazuki’s? the secret reports confirm that the transfer of personnel from the destroyed shinjuku to shibuya was authorized by the acting conductor (uzuki) and this is standard procedure, everything was done properly. so “legally” the formerly-shinjuku reapers are shibuya reapers, right? hanekoma notes in particular that it’s a culture clash leading to the shinjuku reapers being designated as such and that they’re only nominally shinjuku reapers. why are a defunct game’s rules still active?
the biggest issue is that shoka’s threat of erasure was unnecessary from a narrative perspective, especially given how quickly it’s introduced and resolved. what was the point of putting this in the story if five minutes later the issue is just dealt with, no effort, minimal tension, by a (narratively speaking, don’t come after me joshua fans) minor character who doesn’t even appear until after the plot is resolved? i honestly wonder if it was just the writers deciding joshua needed to do something so that his appearance in the ending wasn’t just shallow fanservice for people who wanted to see the original gang. joshua’s lack of action is also presumably going to be contentious with fans; i’ve read the secret reports, and i don’t feel that they sufficiently justify why he doesn’t make any moves to protect his city despite being positioned both in his own dialogue and the secret reports as someone opposing shibuya’s purification. i will talk about this a little later re: kubo’s motivations though.
i also think it’s kind of stupid that joshua sets up “find her and you win” and then... rindo doesn’t do anything in that regard. he just bumps into her in the scramble. i know i already said i hate the idea of her being a prize to be won in a game but if they’re going to set it up, why make it pointless in that regard? it feels so unnecessary. joshua portrays shoka’s revival/return as something to be earned, and unlike the ending of twewy there’s no recognition that he was actually just fucking with them.
this is similar to my mixed feelings about kubo’s defeat. on one hand, i wanted to smash his face in personally, i have hated him the entire game. on the other hand, having him jesus beamed and rewritten out of existence without any warning or chance to resist was fucking hilarious and i actually laughed out loud. my speculation as to why he didn’t get a boss fight is that developers worried about people having trouble suspending disbelief over the party being able to defeat an angel. ultimately i think the only way this could have been done was to have it be a boss battle where your victory doesn’t matter, like the week 1 fight with susukichi, and have hazuki curbstomp kubo in the post-battle cutscenes. ultimately, i feel like this was a lesser of two evils; i don’t think the “you lose in the cutscene” approach would have necessarily been significantly better than what we got, i recognize that “the battle didn’t matter and you lose in the cutscene after” is a contentious game trope. and i would understand people struggling to accept the cast defeating a being from a higher plane without intervention from said higher plane. the only benefit would be the catharsis of getting to slap kubo around, which admittedly i kind of miss. having him as a secret boss was an option i guess but i think it would bring more questions than it was worth.
kubo’s motivation is also just bizarre; i understand that it’s given as him getting overzealous after carrying out his orders to purify shinjuku, but why? i feel like this could have easily been fixed/rationalized by “shinjuku’s surviving reapers fled to shibuya, leading kubo to consider shibuya to be an extension of shinjuku”, but that’s solely speculation. i do not know why kubo decided to also start an inversion in shibuya. they didn’t give me enough information. his conflict with joshua is inexplicable and almost entirely offscreen via the secret reports. i do not feel like i have a grasp on why the plot of the game even happened. hazuki’s involvement is iffy; i can’t say whether he initially approved of kubo’s overstep and changed his mind, or if he just took his time collecting his errant underling. the secret reports suggest the former, and hanekoma noting that the contentious nature of the previous game’s events gives a speculative explanation for why no action was taken if hazuki was actually making moves against shibuya rather than kubo being out of line. hazuki could damn well have been lying, there’s a precedent for composers being full of shit and telling bold-faced lies to protagonists, though in the previous game these lies were all eventually uncovered. this leaves me to believe that ultimately, hazuki’s statements regarding kubo acting outside of his given authority were mostly honest. but what i don’t understand is why joshua took such a hands-off approach.
yes, he says he figured the main cast had it under control and would have stepped in had things gotten worse, but this appearance and statement comes long after rindo fails and shibuya is destroyed in multiple timelines. why did he not step in in the first timeline? i can speculate, but the game and secret reports do not do a great job in explaining why the proxy vs. proxy game even happened in the first place. kubo is hazuki’s underling, which makes joshua higher in the pecking order than kubo. if hazuki was capable of exorcising kubo instantaneously, why didn’t joshua just flick him off the board like a flea before he even got started trying to cause an inversion in shibuya? in the epilogue of a new day joshua is seen in conversation with hanekoma, who’s taking shinjuku’s inversion seriously, which seems at odds with how easily his fellow composer ends the problem.
retroactively, i guess i could rationalize this as him realizing that either shinjuku’s composer must be responsible for said inversion or that potentially shinjuku’s composer has been compromised in some way. and i can rationalize him failing to immediately jesus beam kubo as well - it’s possible that, as kubo was initially acting under the orders of another composer (assuming hazuki is still technically “legally” one/at the bureaucratic level of one), joshua’s hands were somewhat tied re: what actions he could take without potential consequences. it could be that joshua would get in big trouble if he took disciplinary action against another composer’s underling, but 1. the legal transfer of personnel should mean kubo is joshua’s underling, not hazuki’s, see the shoka problem 2. hazuki’s status as a composer is questionable given that his territory is now purified and its game is defunct 3. given that kubo was acting outside of his original composer’s turf and outside of his initial orders (purify shinjuku) at this point i feel like that isn’t likely. it could be that he was trying to avoid a conflict with hazuki himself. it may be that he considered it hazuki’s responsibility to retrieve kubo, but that’s at odds with him choosing a proxy to combat kubo’s and his claims that he totally would have done something, really, he swears. they don’t give us much info at all as to why joshua entered a game with kubo in the first place. i have reason to believe that something’s fishy in the secret reports, and i would like to see the japanese text, which i’ll mention again in a few paragraphs.
i know the absence of shibuya’s composer is partially, and perhaps primarily, “there wouldn’t be a plot if joshua fixed it”. but it really feels like they just kinda tucked joshua in the corner and hoped fans wouldn’t be like “hey where is shibuya’s composer and why is no one mentioning them?” that part is probably for the same reason we don’t see shiki until the very ending, teasing the audience by holding off on revealing him until the last second, but it’s jarring to me that shiki is mentioned but neither neku, beat, nor any of the reapers (!) think “we should contact the composer”. even if just to say “we can’t contact the composer, he is unreachable”! i guess it’s to avoid people remembering how significant joshua is and thinking too hard about it, because joshua is simply too powerful of a character to be running around freely. the plot falls apart when you have a character who’s so strong and, in his own words, kind of omnipotent, who could trivialize the conflict in an instant if he took action.
i feel like they surely could have given a more explicit reason for him to not be involved in the story, even if it’s a reason like “he’s in trouble with the higher plane”. which could have easily been set up! hanekoma is clear in his reports that shibuya’s impurification is highly contentious in the higher plane; people are big mad about it, potentially people higher in the chain of command than a composer. this could have been easily utilized as an explanation for why joshua is hands-off; he’s on a shit list and needs to step carefully as a result. but it’s just not addressed. hanekoma is unreachable according to his reports, and he notes that people are trying to contact him for help. are we just to assume that people have looked for joshua to ask for help in the past but it was so long ago that it isn’t even worth mentioning now to the newcomers? according to other reports, the higher ups are pissed with joshua about his game with kitaniji and are turning a blind eye to what’s happening with kubo in shibuya as a result. but this doesn’t explain why the members of the shibuya UG never discuss the composer. hanekoma’s reports have him confused as to joshua’s lack of action as well; he knows the context of what’s going on in shibuya but doesn’t understand why joshua is staying silent.
that said! the fact that hazuki’s motive for the destruction of shinjuku is never stated does not bother me too much. he’s placed in a position very parallel to joshua in the first game, and he even says he felt like he was following in josh’s footsteps. when you add his seemingly-genuine inability to understand why people care about shibuya, i feel there’s enough evidence to... not dismiss, but nudge this aside as “He Too is a misanthropic bastard”; shinjuku’s destruction is a parallel to the intended destruction of shibuya in the first game. hazuki just carried on where joshua had a change of heart. the secret reports complicate this; it might be that someone fucked up in transcribing, but the reports i read online state that shibuya’s composer, i.e. joshua, was responsible for the destruction of shinjuku due to a game with kubo. this does not make sense given everything else, including hazuki’s own statements and later reports, so i’m setting that aside for the moment as either an uncaught mistake either in translation or transcription online (most likely) or hanekoma not knowing the actual truth until receiving the post-purification shinjuku reports. hanekoma also suggests that hazuki’s goal was also the purification of shibuya, but as he’s not shibuya’s composer this is certainly not his jurisdiction so i’m curious as to what exactly happened there.
EDIT: i’ve been informed by a helpful anon that this is not a mistranslation, the japanese secret reports do state that it was a game involving joshua that resulted in shinjuku’s inversion. with that in mind, i have figured out how to rationalize this and it solves a lot of problems: if it was a proxy game between joshua and kubo, then joshua must have been the opposition to shinjuku’s inversion. though you could argue that joshua is responsible for the end result, he didn’t destroy shinjuku; his proxy lost, probably because kubo’s had the support of shinjuku’s composer. kubo’s overconfidence in running rampant in shibuya is now explicable and he may have been trying to rub it in that joshua lost.
if hazuki was still backing kubo post-shinjuku, this could explain why hazuki felt he could make decisions about shibuya’s fate and wander around it; joshua had already overstepped onto his turf to meddle in purification, so he was returning the favor. at this point in time, i figure that joshua’s proxy was either tsugumi’s brother (shinjuku’s conductor) or coco (she’s noted to have inexplicable powers for a rank-and-file reaper, but joshua’s opposition to her killing of neku throws this into question), and if we truly had a scrapped “shinjuku’s final game” plot then joshua’s proxy could also have been neku. kubo’s proxy was presumably shiba. this actually answers a few questions that i couldn’t rationalize when i assumed joshua was uninvolved (why would shinjuku’s composer be running a game against kubo when they wanted the same thing?), so i’m gonna chalk it up as an absolute win.
i think hishima as a character was... sort of nothing. he was just there. yeah, it was kinda funny how he dressed shiba down, but i don’t know that the plot needed him. his role in the endgame could have easily been given to tsugumi without much fuss, and i feel tsugumi deserved a much bigger part in the narrative given how much she was hyped up by solo and final remix. she was so prominent and anticipated that the fans called her hype-chan for years before we had a name for her. this could also be folded into the problem with hiding shiki until the very end; it feels like we missed a whole sequence with both of these characters simply because the narrative refused to show us shiki. instead, we’re told that shiki showed up and fixed mr. mew, and somehow this freed tsugumi. i think the fact that they don’t even give a flashback of this crucial event after shiki’s proper introduction is just a questionable decision. the story tells us that tsugumi’s release from the plushie is of the utmost importance and shiba can’t be swayed without her, setting it up as a vital event, but it happens offscreen with no real interaction with the main cast. it also only happens after multiple failed loops, even though rindo’s interference is what prevents the meeting between coco and shiki to repair the plushie. i don’t understand this from a logistical standpoint; if coco isn’t pulled to escort rhyme, she must have met with shiki and released tsugumi in timely manner, but tsugumi does not appear until after you replay to get coco back to her original schedule. you could wave it off as “she didn’t get there fast enough”, but i can’t accept that as a reason given the circumstances; it’s not like she would have to look hard to find shiba. this one’s flawed writing; i know in a meta sense why she didn’t appear, it was to build tension etc etc, but in-universe it’s a plot hole.
coco being so absent from the plot is also somewhat conspicuous. i wonder what reception of her was like in japan and if that influenced her lack of presence in the story. i honestly don’t even know if she was received well by the english audience, all i know is that i did not like her at all in final remix. not from an “i don’t like the villain because they’re doing bad things” perspective, from an “i don’t find this character compelling and i think they’re annoying” perspective. also curious as to whether or not her speech patterns changed in the japanese dialogue since final remix; i found her far less jarring and obnoxious in neo and i think it’s enormously because she stopped talking verbally in internet shorthand. overall, coco’s retool was imo a change for the better, but she’s barely there for me to appreciate how much of an improvement she was. it feels like there’s an entire narrative we were set up for by a new day, yet it’s almost completely missing. the ending of a new day laid out this framework for neku and minamimoto to be forced allies in an unseen future game. i had mixed feelings about this conceptually, but the narrative setup was fairly transparent. not only does this not happen, coco’s motivation in a new day and what ultimately happened were so lacking to me.
i feel like something got lost and we were originally going to actually see and perhaps play the shinjuku game that ended in disaster instead of just getting a summation and brief flashbacks of the survivors fleeing. this kinda ties in with my complaints about how hyped tsugumi was by solo and final remix, and then she turned out to have a very small (albeit crucial, via her trailer ability) and mostly unseen role in neo’s story. retroactively we learn that rindo’s visions are from tsugumi, but this is something she does entirely off-screen. all of coco’s scheming was for nothing, because joshua was a deus ex machina and whisked neku away the second he died. this feels to me like cut content or rewrites; there’s a whole game’s worth of story that just happened off-camera and we got to hear a little bit about it. it wasn’t enough, imo. i think doing it as a midquel is still possible, but it’s a hard sell to create a video game with a downer ending and we know shinjuku’s fate is already set in stone... even though a new day ended on the tragic cliffhanger of neku’s death, it’s a little different since it’s coming as an optional postgame sequel hook after victory rather than the entire narrative you fought through ending in failure. i suppose it could be done with a Distant Epilogue now that we know shiba and most of his surviving reapers will return to rebuild shinjuku. ultimately i really think that if not for the concern about neku overshadowing the new cast, shinjuku’s purification could and should have been the prologue to neo. it would be a tough balancing act, but i do think it could have been done right and it would have done a lot for narrative tension with his absence if we had a prologue following him that ends in a cliffhanger re: shinjuku’s purification. neku’s role in the story was done decently i think re: how big said role was, but a lot of circumstances surrounding his absence, legendary status, and reappearance leave much to be desired.
frankly, i just don’t like how much they glossed over neku’s three year absence. we’re given a vague explanation of what he was doing, but it isn’t actually an explanation. definitely again feels like a plot rewrite situation; there’s this huge blank space of neku doing nothing because there used to be a story that we were going to play through and it got scrapped for whatever reason. overall i feel neku’s characterization was very odd and perhaps a little inconsistent in this game; he didn’t have much of a personality at all, which i struggle to reconcile with the original game. we don’t see how he reconciled with coco, it’s just dismissed entirely as “no we’re good now”. how are we good? why did you forgive her for playing murder games instead of just explaining shit? i know he forgave joshua for his gatekeep gaslight girlboss behavior in the first game, but we had context as to why he made that decision. also what the fuck was keeping him from coming back to shibuya, i don’t feel like that was sufficiently explained either? for someone who was so hyped up by the narrative, i was a little let down by how insignificant neku ended up being to the plot as a whole. and again, his personality seemed very watered down and neutral despite the seriousness of the situation. why was he so mellow? the circumstances of his return i did really like, because... well, we’ll talk about character relationships i guess.
i already summed up my feelings on rindo and shoka and i think i’ll leave them on the note of “unnecessary elements dampened my potential for overt enthusiasm, but overall i feel neutral-positive about the suggestion of romantic interest” which is a lot more than i can say about a lot of (semi-)official pairings. on a broader and more platonic scale? generally i have positive feelings about the new cast and their interactions; i feel like their development is more understated than neku’s in the first game, his character arc is very in your face and the neo cast is not nearly as overt, but you can see the difference in how the team interacts across the three weeks. rindo and fret’s established friendship, not to be dismissive of it, does exactly what it needs to. i mean this in a completely positive way. it’s an established friendship, they feel like friends, and they serve initially as anchors to one another in the beginning of the game as a “you’re the only person i know in this chaos” setup. this contrasts neku in the first game in an excellent way because of how it highlights their biggest character flaws, which i’ll talk about later; it’s important to rindo’s fatal flaw that he has someone to fall back and rely on in the beginning of the game in the same way that it’s crucial for neku’s development that he’s surrounded by strangers who he must learn to trust and rely on in order to survive. rindo and fret can lean on each other in the beginning of the game, and as people who have known each other for some time, are able to recognize and appreciate each others’ positive changes.
i do love the development of nagi’s friendship with fret, particularly how it’s sometimes but not always remarked on when she shelves her initial aloof attitude with him. i prefer when a narrative is more subtle on that kind of thing; pointing it out every once in a while is okay, but i don’t want it shoved down my throat via dialogue that characters are developing an emotional bond. we can see that nagi is slowly becoming more receptive to fret and less likely to dismiss or disparage him. it seems like their initial relationship is that of two people who have opposite struggles; nagi is notably closed off in the beginning, but fret immediately approaches her with an unearned and offputting level of familiarity. their slow and understated (more noticeable with nagi than fret) development towards accepting each other as friends is mutually beneficial to them even outside of the context of their personal relationship; nagi opens up a little with everyone, not just fret. placing two people with very different perspectives on how to interact with new people in close proximity helped both of them grow. i’m sure other people have different perspectives, but i do not feel like they were being teased as a pairing which i enormously appreciate, i am tired of “pair the spares” shit. (minor note: i also appreciate how while fret’s crush on kanon was very overt and strong, she was also fairly clear that she considered him a kid and his feelings were never going to be reciprocated because of that age gap. i know, the bar is low, but thank god.)
i love how, despite nagi now having been confirmed as older than beat, as soon as beat joins the narrative he takes this hard stance of “i’m the one who’s already been in this hellscape so it’s my responsibility to help the newbies”. he really embodies the big brother role so well in this game; he knows a little more about what’s going on, this isn’t his first rodeo even if it’s not exactly the same, so he considers himself to have an obligation to protect the others. he serves as sort of a physical and emotional rock for the team from the second he joins, becoming an excellent support for them both as a combatant and an older brother figure. he has experience in being both of these things, and i think beat’s writing is some of the best in the game.
despite his position as a former player who’s back in the UG, he meshes with the newbies perfectly. he doesn’t overshadow the rest of the team despite having more lived (ha) experience in the reaper’s game, he doesn’t feel like he’s on a different level from them or anything like that. he fits in while serving an important unique role that he can only fill because of his prior time in the UG. it’s completely understandable and reasonable why rindo remains the team leader despite beat’s presence. he’s had a three year gap since his last game and doesn’t even understand how he returned to the UG. he’s not a fish out of water, he knows the UG and the game. but he’s really truly gotta shake the dust off, and he’s trying to figure out what happened to him in the first place because he knows he shouldn’t be in the UG at all. he didn’t have a huge bump in intelligence since the first game, but it’s hard to dismiss him as a complete idiot. he has both large and small perceptive moments where another narrative might have chosen to keep him as the dumb muscle. in fact, his firm convictions serve an important role for the others - beat knows he didn’t die and can’t be convinced otherwise, and his confidence that he’s a living player is part of how rindo and gang realize they also aren’t dead. he’s clearly not simply a comic relief character. another story might have positioned him as more of a mentor figure, but he plays to his strengths and serves to ground the team instead. beat is honestly a highlight of this ensemble cast to me. i’m unsure as to how much of that is simply because he was one of my favorites from the first game, but i really truly love beat in this game.
shoka and neku’s late introductions to the team mean they have far less “we are now firmly allies and friends” interactions with the rest of the ensemble for unavoidable reasons. i will say that the excellent casting and localization for the english version, particularly shoka, has done a lot to mitigate that issue; yes, the plot doesn’t develop her relationships with the team as a whole as thoroughly as some of the others, but the combat interactions with her are so genuine that i found myself shocked when writing this because, well, those combat lines did so much legwork making her role in the party seem earned and cohesive. i had such a strong sense of her place in the team that just isn’t reflected in the cutscenes, and i find that very interesting but i’m unsure as to whether it’s good or bad; i think it’s incredible that the combat dialogue did such a good job fostering this air of “we are a unit” for these characters and it really is a testament to the skill of these actors, but i do wish it was more prevalent in the cutscenes itself. beat’s established relationship with neku and their relaxed nature with one another does a lot to ease neku’s entry into the group; he has an “in” with a firmly established member and a well-written dynamic with him that helps him out here.
as a nekubeat appreciator i feel very fed and i hope there’s an uptick in interest for the pairing following neo. i love how beat, who throughout the game is constantly forgetting who people from 3 years ago are (doesn’t recognize his former superior bc she’s wearing a suit now and can’t even remember her name), immediately recognizes coco despite her changing her entire aesthetic specifically because he’s so angry with her for killing neku. he’s ready to throw down the second he sees her, which gives this feeling of “he’s been waiting for this moment for 3 years”. because the narrative never addresses beat’s change in style, particularly that he wears his hair like neku now, i choose to believe it’s because the last time he saw neku was immediately after coco shot and killed him. it could be that this shit’s been haunting him ever since neku died. my city now, if you don’t talk about it in the game i make shit up. both their cutscene interactions and combat quotes do an excellent job of maintaining the sense that these two have been close friends for a long time and distance hasn’t changed that. they fall right back into old ways with one another immediately.
even outside of the context of me being a nekubeat shipper, their relationship and continued partnership (UG game context partnership) feels very genuine. neku and joshua call each other partner, but it rings hollow. i’m sure it’s partially the lack of screentime that makes it so they don’t feel like partners any more than neku and shiki do, but the game doesn’t even try to push closeness the way it does for shiki - more on that in a minute. beat is the only one of neku’s partners that seems to have retained the same strength in their bond with him despite the three years; shiki and joshua are super absent in the plot, which really undermines their relationships with neku. i’ve already talked about my problems with shiki’s lack of focus and how i feel it harms her relationship with neku, but as for neku’s relationship with joshua, i think neo has taken an interesting approach that i feel will have a mixed reception.
it actually feels like neku and joshua ended this game on worse terms than the first one even though joshua was a far more benevolent figure this time around. neku is very clear about wanting to return to the RG despite this meaning he will have no access to the UG (outside of potentially text-based communication since rhyme paved the way for RG residents to bust into the RNS and... however it was that shoka’s fanGO account worked, since she and rindo were fanGO friends long before his entry to the UG) and doesn’t show any hesitation or reluctance in stating this desire. he seems quite content with not having joshua be a part of his life, as opposed to the first game’s ending where he extends an open offer to joshua to join his friend group. i understand how this would (and will) let a lot of people down, but i actually think it’s for the best. i have no real opinion on neku’s capacity for forgiving joshua after the first game, good or bad, but i think putting distance between them in this game is the correct move.
i take this viewpoint especially given that after the first game, joshua did in fact choose this distance - neku invited him in, and he did not take the offer. it was his decision to not join neku’s group in the first game’s ending and he continued to remain separate from it in the three year gap; he may have masqueraded as a fellow player and peer in age, but joshua is not and has never been an actual peer to neku, shiki, and beat. his life experiences are so different from theirs that i would struggle to suspend disbelief that they have enough in common to maintain a close friendship. he intervened when neku was killed by coco and placed him in a safe area and gave moral support in the ending, and i think this is the most we should expect of a reforming (not reformed but in-progress) misanthrope like joshua. he’s an enigmatic figure sure and largely benevolent if inactive in this game, but he isn’t a good person and he clearly considers himself to be on a different level from neku and his peers. hanekoma notes that joshua’s somewhat reluctant to continue to remain separate from neku’s group, but i think the narrative places him both objectively and in his own mind as someone who is just... from a different world. joshua chose distance, he chose to cut contact, and this is the consequence of that decision. i think that’s a good lesson to teach; it may not be a given, but it’s natural that sometimes a friendship you ignore will fade. it doesn’t necessarily mean the time you spent didn’t matter, but you shouldn’t be shocked if a plant you don’t water wilts away.
i feel like that wasn’t the intended takeaway, that it was just questionable writing that i’m reading too deep into, but that’s how i feel about the situation.
i’m also incredibly grateful that hazuki was introduced as an age-appropriate option for joshua and i hope they’ll draw attention as a bastard boyfriends ship, both because i think it’s very funny and because i have opinions about shipping joshua with the teens. i know it’s contentious and i’m not going too deep into it, so what i’m going to say is this. the secret reports state in plain objective text that joshua downtuning his vibes aged him down and his true appearance is older. neither the narrative nor supplementary info state anything about how old josh was when he died or how long he’s been a reaper/the composer (reapers ageing is ??? as well, we don’t know if it’s not a thing or if it’s optional or what). however, it is firmly canon that he is older than 15. if that canon upsets you then that’s your problem to either work through or ignore indefinitely. suffice to say, joshua and hazuki do not have the schrodinger’s pedophile issue and i wholly support and strongly encourage that over the alternative for this reason and again because i find it funny and think they deserve each other. i hate to say hazuki is a healthy choice for joshua because i think both of them are just walking messes, but they are actual peers on the same tier of the higher plane pecking order and more importantly the disaster they could be as a couple has infinite potential.
on the girls side of things, i am still mad about eri’s absence not just because it’s a relationship shiki had that just got ignored. i know the story wants us to believe that neku and shiki have something but shiki and eri had more. i’m sorry writers you made a more compelling f/f ship by accident in the first game and i am not invested in the one you weakly suggested between neku and shiki here. if you made shiki have more of a role in neo maybe i’d feel differently, or maybe you would have screwed it up worse. we’ll never know. i think it’s a shame that they couldn’t make me care about neku and shiki as a pairing, but it is what it is.
i was briefly worried that the game would try to suggest something between kaie and rhyme because sometimes people lose their minds when a boy and girl stand next to each other, but i was quickly set at ease with that one. they felt like two people who are starting to straddle that line of acquaintance/friend in a believable way despite how little interaction between them we see, and i appreciate that. i was also briefly worried that fret would develop a crush on rhyme based on his initial reaction at being introduced to her, but again quickly dismissed. can you tell i’m a little gun shy about strangled “him boy her girl” romances in fiction these days? yeah. i’ve been let down too much recently by bad writing.
i think all of the party members could have benefited from more development with one another outside of combat lines - i would like to see more interaction between nagi and shoka, or neku and fret, etc - but that would come at the expense of the narrative’s pacing. i think it could have been done by tweaking certain details, but ultimately i can accept this as a sacrifice made in the interest of keeping the narrative from getting bloated.
i wanna talk briefly about the new main cast a little.
rindo’s ups and downs re: development are much more subtle than neku’s were, but with the secret reports in mind i feel his arc is actually pretty excellent. i think we could have done with a little less of fret pointing out rindo’s increased confidence and how he becomes more assertive, i think the audience is smart enough to notice that on their own. but i’m a huge fan of how the narrative quietly places rindo in this position of a leader who fears that responsibility, but nonetheless has to grow and accept it. hanekoma’s reports may spell it out in plain text postgame, but the narrative already told us in our own way that rindo’s development stalled when someone else entered the cast who could take over for him and this is demonstrative of a(n understandable) lack of maturity and failure to grow. neku’s fatal flaw was his rejection of others, and so he was forced by the narrative into a position where he had to learn to trust them; rindo’s is that he relies too much on them and the narrative forces him to stand on his own.
while i think this is a little muddled (he was right in some instances to not make hard solo decisions; thinking specifically of ayano, it was absolutely the right call to ease shoka into this inevitable loss rather than forcing her into the situation unilaterally) and i wish we saw more consequences of his initial waffling behavior, rindo’s indecisiveness is an actual flaw that i think a lot of people can relate to and i think it contrasts him wonderfully with neku without being heavy-handed. rindo working through it from “relying on others to make choices for him -> still valuing the input of others but not wholly dependent on them -> capable of making difficult calls without anyone else to support him” was subdued and while it had realistic hitches in the form of other characters who he could consider authority figures, it was steady and imo very good. he’s a teenager coming into his own, stepping out of this world where others in his life - motoi as an0ther, shoka as swallow, presumably his parents, teachers, etc - have made the big, scary decisions for him or guided him through them, and into a place where there aren’t these people to guide him. he’s surrounded by people who either don’t know anything more than he does, or don’t care about his best interests; he’s clashing and changing and it forces him to grasp and accept his own autonomy rather than falling back and relying on someone else to fix things when it’s too frightening or difficult.
we can talk cultural differences re: the level of autonomy and responsibility that’s right for teenagers but i’m not really interested in drawing hard lines there. this is a coming of age story; as he approaches maturity, rindo is learning how to be an adult. i think that’s a classic and important narrative concept and it’s done well here.
fret, interestingly, is imo a case where the subtlety didn’t work out. to me, there wasn’t a huge distinction between flippant “telling you what i think you want to hear” fret and “genuine” fret. his initial interactions with kanon don’t seem different from their last conversation; maybe he comes off as less initally honest in the jp version, or maybe this one was a writing fumble. maybe it’s just me, and other people don’t feel the same way! he seems to be a far more static character in a strange way; the narrative tells us that he’s developing via other characters’ dialogue, but it doesn’t seem to support that. to me it’s a failure of “show, don’t tell” - i don’t take a hard stance on “show, don’t tell” as some kind of holy rule of writing, there are plenty of situations in a narrative where telling is perfectly acceptable and i think rigid adherence to showing and not telling can result in a bloated narrative, but in this case i feel like that’s where the narrative failed. it failed to support fret’s development outside of other people telling him he’s changed. i like fret, but i feel like in this ensemble cast fret and nagi kinda serve more as nominal protagonists and are more strong supporting characters than true leads.
as for nagi, i love how, despite it being low-hanging fruit, not only are there no real digs at nagi for being a vocal fangirl of a visual novel dating sim, it actually ties perfectly into her character as someone who understands people. dating sims are about people and relationships. how people interact, the importance of conveying your feelings, the consequences of bad communication; that’s what nagi is obsessed with. and rather than this being a detriment and making her avoid others, it ends up priming her to have healthy friendships because her gaming taught her to value knowing other people. it takes her time to actually open up, but rather than the video games closing her off to others they actually set her up to be an excellent friend. elestra in general could have been a subject of enormous mockery, but instead it’s viewed in a very neutral way and is given the implication of universal appeal by fret picking it up in the epilogue. nagi’s not in the spotlight for most of the game, but the payoff of her monologue to fret about being human was immense and was one of the best bits of dialogue in the entire game to me. it’s not going to be as iconic as hanekoma’s “open up your world” and “enjoy the moment”, but i truly think it’s one of the only parts of neo’s dialogue that approaches its level.
shoka is a character that i think is better on the replay, and i say this as someone who was very fond of shoka the first time around. i thought she had a lot of personality in her mannerisms alone, and i firmly appreciate how she wasn’t a one-note tsundere character. she had some of those minor elements, but subdued and with a reasonable context - she’s hot and cold with rindo and his team because she’s supposed to be working this rigged game to erase them, but she’s already rindo’s friend in a different context and is struggling to reconcile these two parts of her life. knowing her motivation as swallow gives so much retroactive depth to her actions; she was circumventing the game itself not just because she was exhausted by it or unease with shiba like some of the other turncoat reapers, but because rindo was her friend from before the story even began.
i will say that i didn’t actually fully call swallow being shoka simply because at first i had the impression that it would be rhyme (before rhyme’s role in the story became clearer), and admittedly by the time the climax hit the mystery of who swallow was had kind of dropped out of my mind completely, but i think it does a lot to develop shoka. whether this development being retroactive is strictly good or bad as an issue is subjective; neo is a game that has a built-in chapter select, so replaying the game and rewatching the cutscenes with the full narrative context is incredibly easy. however, for a lot of players, if you’re replaying the game it’s with a specific goal of getting something you missed earlier in-game, so you’re rushing through those cutscenes trying to get to that completionist bit. i think a line could have been walked re: giving more of a hint that shoka was swallow before the very end without fully giving it away, but i definitely think the rewatch value is more subjective and based on how you specifically play the game. if you’re here looking to watch all the cutscenes again now that you know everything, shoka being swallow is a huge treat regarding changing the context of her behavior - if you’re fast-forwarding trying to find a pig, it’s totally wasted.
i would have liked to see more of shoka’s backstory and interaction with the other shinjuku reapers for sure, and i wonder if this is another thing along the lines of “we were supposed to see more of shinjuku’s final game than we did”; if we’d gotten more of shinjuku, we certainly would have seen more of its reapers. i talked briefly about how i feel like ayano’s death didn’t hit the way i think it was intended to, but if the game had let us see more of her as a shinjuku reaper i feel like the entire plot would have benefited. it would have benefited shiba as well honestly; they tried to have him as a repentant “now i shall fix what i destroyed” character at the very end, but i don’t feel like they did a good enough job portraying that he had changed and he was brainwashed so it fell flat. if we’d seen more of shiba as the compassionate leader who deserved the loyalty of his reapers that they say he was, the contrast would have done a lot to help define the tragedy of his backstory. overall i think this is another “we lost a chunk of the plot in rewrites or something” issue, which i admit is not based in anything like interviews. it’s just my speculation because it feels like something that was supposed to be here got left behind - i can’t say if i’m right, or why it happened if so. it just feels to me like the shinjuku reapers besides shoka went fairly undeveloped not because of writing/lack of screentime alone but because we lost big pieces of shinjuku content entirely. it’s insane that we only learn in the secret reports how tsugumi became trapped in the mr. mew plush to begin with; to me, this screams “we had to cut something”, and the more i think about it the more convinced i am that we were originally meant to see more of shinjuku’s inversion. hell, the secret reports just flippantly inform us that tsugumi’s brother was shinjuku’s conductor and he’s why she survived - but he goes unnamed and unseen, mentioned only in a piece of postgame content that many players may never unlock.
shinjuku’s final game is just left as this incredible story that was never told, with a cast who we barely see. again, it doesn’t bother me that they never explained to us why hazuki purified shinjuku. but i do wish we could have connected with its reapers to see how they reacted to its impending fate; who was on kubo’s side, who was trying to protect shinjuku? who knew what was happening, and who was just swept up in the chaos? how did the purification affect them emotionally after their escape to shibuya? just from the secret reports we see that tsugumi’s brother is this tragic hero of another story, the conductor opposing the executor and fighting to save his city before ultimately sacrificing himself to keep his sister alive. this is enough content that it could have easily been a standalone, but it wasn’t. i think that’s a damn shame. i’m sure there are people who are already chomping at the bit to write about shinjuku’s tragic final game and it’ll make a stunning fanfic in the right hands, but this is a big gap for fanfiction authors to be filling in.
this was mostly a narrative thoughts dump, but i wanna say just a couple of things about the combat: overall i liked it! i was significantly overleveled for the vast majority of the game partially because i was having fun with the combat, i feel gameplay was very intrinsically motivating. because of how the food system worked, being overleveled didn’t mean too much since it only affects HP, but i also was eating constantly so i was in fact just OP for much of the game. so i suppose, take my gameplay commentary with a grain of salt because i was busted quickly. if i hadn’t been such a powerhouse from early on, i expect my gameplay experience would have been much different.
my biggest complaint: there were some significant issues in enemy design related to battles being timed and the timer having consequences. some enemies were a reasonable/intuitive pain, say, elephants being bullet sponges and chameleons having an invisibility mechanic. these things made them challenging, but in a sensible way. like, of course a big honkin’ elephant has a ton of HP. i think that chameleons in particular could have been tweaked; you have to be very close to them when they’re invisible in order to lock on, and i think this could distance could have been extended a bit to minimize frustration. likewise, it felt like party members that get grabbed by a t.rex were trapped for ages; i feel this could have been tweaked as well. i know a lot of people had issues with wolves for this same reason, but their comparative frailty and my pin choices meant that i quickly overcame wolves and they became a minor nuisance at best until endgame introduced a beefier wolf. even then, i found t.rex noise to be much more of an issue because of their sturdier nature and higher damage output. these are minor gripes; i didn’t like seeing these enemies, but i didn’t hate seeing them. no, here’s what i hate: rhinos and pufferfish.
to me, these are the most annoying enemies in the entire game outside of maybe a handful of bosses. i feel they were poorly thought out in general. the tendency for rhinos to put themselves against the arena walls and the delay on pufferfish exploding after their HP hits zero do not mesh well with that battle timer. i find myself very frustrated by these enemies because it feels like i’m being punished not for a lack of skill or bad decisions choosing weak pins, but simply bad luck. very few pins can circumvent the rhino’s front guard and the hitbox for their guard feels enormous, so i can’t imagine i’m the only player having difficulty herding them out of corners to actually damage them or get beat drops. there’s a postgame dive with a big noise rhino, and it was my worst experience with the entire game because it just kept backing into a corner. i quit that dive multiple times because of how much time i wasted with the rhino; i changed my pins like crazy trying to take advantage of elemental weaknesses or use pins that could circumvent the guard. but it wasn’t about what pins i was using, it was just bad luck with hitboxes. when i finally got the gold rank on that dive it wasn’t that i did anything significantly different, the rhino just didn’t park its ass in the corner that time.
as far as i know, and i hope i’m missing something that someone can enlighten me on, there is no way to prevent pufferfish from inflating and exploding outside of a killer remix. i have not discovered any way to make them explode faster. the amount of time it takes for them to blow up seems to vary not by species but by individual, i’m not sure if it’s being triggered by proximity to a party member or what but i know sometimes one of those little shits will inflate and chase me across the entire arena before finally exploding. in a chain battle, that wasted time adds up. the pufferfish issue could have been severely mitigated, if not entirely fixed, if the gap between HP hitting zero and explosion was just the time it took for them to inflate. that would have basically eliminated my needless frustration with them. but instead i just... don’t know how to make them pop faster.
in normal combat, your post-battle score is primarily just bragging rights/making yourself feel good to have gotten a good grade. but when it comes to dives, where the timer directly decides how many of the finite friendship points you get, the appearance of a rhino or pufferfish specifically is something i approached with dread and disappointment. i already mentioned the postgame dive giant rhino specifically being a nightmare, but this was a reoccurring element for me through the entire game with just normal rhinos. i know rhinos are a returning enemy and kept their front-guard schtick, but the shift to a 3D environment has made them a much more (imo needlessly) difficult opponent.
regarding the pin system itself, i was enormously disappointed to learn how the multi-pin input worked. it turns out that you can only have multiple pins using a single input no matter how many multi-pin wields you unlock; gone were my dreams of having 2 Y-input pins and two ZL input pins (i played on switch). the inability to multi-pin wield uber pins regardless of how many uber slots you have filled is also a huge bummer. i feel like in the postgame i should be able to be an absolute god of destruction, but this didn’t pan out.
this seems to be a switch issue, but autosave was the MVP of the game because i had a few cutscenes crash or freeze (the one with kubo’s reveal seems to be a common source of a crash on the switch version as it fails to load the 3D cutscene); this was annoying and needs fixing, but it was slightly mitigated by autosave kicking in immediately after boss battles. i was crushed thinking i was gonna have to go through the shiba fight again after kubo crashed my game, so the relief i felt upon loading up again and going right into the cutscene was immense. don’t get me wrong: cutscene freezes and particularly crashes are a big problem that a game like this shouldn’t have launched with, but at the very least i didn’t lose my progress on that crash. related, i appreciate the ability to speed through cutscenes you’ve already seen, but i do wish we had the option to skip them entirely because that would have saved me from the freezes that i had to manually close the game and lose progress for.
a more minor complaint that i admittedly am unsure as to how to fix (maybe utilizing the d-pad instead of having it be camera/target select alongside the right stick?) is that i do not seem to have much control over which character my camera centers on in combat. typically selecting the pin that’s equipped to them will focus the camera to them, but every once in a while i’ll be locked to someone whose pin is rebooting while my other party members are actively attacking on the complete opposite end of the arena. i have no idea why this happens. if i’m missing something please let me know. the static nature of the overworld camera took some adjusting to, at first i was offput but i got used to it quickly. if camera was fixed position in combat it would have been a nightmare, but it being fixed in the overworld isn’t the same beast.
this has gotten obscenely long, so props and condolences to everyone who has made it this far. i wanna end on a high note because i want to reiterate something: i have so many criticisms here and that’s actually praise. i enjoyed so much of this game that i’m critical of where it fell short specifically because it’s such a strong contrast to how much i felt it did right. the main story was pretty strong in general, though some character interactions were lacking. the plot itself i didn’t talk a lot about because i thought it was good. there wasn’t much to say, they did a good job! the dissonance noise being created from deleted timelines was great, i loved that. i don’t feel like predictability makes a narrative bad, so it’s not like i was upset when it turned out replay was (gasp) part of a dastardly scheme. for me, foreshadowing is an excellent thing even if sometimes i wish it was handled a little differently.
i vastly prefer this game’s vague sequel hook with minamimoto over how final remix ended a new day; that sequel hook i hated and it had me so worried about neo. thankfully a lot of my fears didn’t come true, and i am very happy overall with the game we got. if another game is greenlit, i would hope it progresses with a mostly new cast; as long as we stay in shibuya some supporting characters can and should be staples imo, like kariya and uzuki, and i hope to see more of what’s being set up with minamimoto even if not necessarily with him as a protagonist. but overall i think twewy’s worldbuilding lends itself much more to a rotating cast if it develops into a full franchise; that’s just the nature of the UG, and i would like to see further installments taking advantage of that and allowing characters to have a complete arc and then retire from the narrative naturally.
i’ve got some pigs to erase and some bosses to slap the pins out of, which i’m sure will take me some time. another day certainly has a secret boss and/or time trial boss rush, so i’ll take a look at that sucker soon as well. i’m looking forward to continuing my playthrough, and i expect to sink quite a few more hours into this game. i really truly enjoyed neo despite my qualms, and i’m leaving the main storyline behind for postgame stuff with almost entirely positive feelings and a hopeful stance on the potential future of the series. i know this was a long-ass post, which is why it’s beneath a readmore, but to anyone who cared enough about my thoughts to keep reading the whole thing... thanks for the time you spent, hope you got something positive out of it!
#neo twewy#neo twewy spoilers#this turned into a behemoth. im so sorry#I CHECKED AND IT'S OVER 11K WORDS#I'M SO FUCKING SORRY
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