#i just have such a clear vision and i keep convincing myself its not good enough yet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aquanova99 · 2 years

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Your Love

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Bucky x Reader

Part 2

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Bucky couldn’t stop pacing. Steve had all but dragged him away from the room y/n was taken into. Wanda forced him to keep Vision away in case something wrong happened when they were helping y/n. After everyone saw how her powers worked they assumed Vision might go down if she woke up afraid and in fear just unknowingly use her powers.

“Buck.”

Sams voice startled Bucky from his pacing, they both knew he was one wrong word from starting a fight of his own, “What?”

“You good?”

They both knew he wasn’t. The guilt was eating him alive. He wasn’t even entirely sure how they made it back to the tower. Everything was blurring together. He wish he would have fought harder, maybe convinced wanda to help him earlier. Maybe y/n wouldn’t be in this mess because of him. Sam put his hand on his shoulder and Bucky just nodded.

Wanda came out shortly after, “Well, luckily I was not needed. The sedation orked throught the recleaning and antibiotics.”

“Shes good?”

Wanda half shrugged, “I don’t know about good, but she is in the clear for now. Shes resting, the doctor had to—”

Bucky rushed in before Wanda could finish,

“—put in IVs to keep her hydrated.” Wanda raised her eyebrows at sam as she pointed in the direction of y/ns room.

“What, like you couldn’t tell?”

“Didn’t think it was…that serious.” She chuckled

“I don’t think he thought it was either.”

“He is not going to be happy when he goes in there, “ Wanda mumbled to herself

The doctor was still in the room when Bucky stormed through the door, “I’m assuming you’re the one Wanda said would be staying with her?”

“Sorry, is she doing okay?”

“You got her here at the right time. Any longer the infection could have spread.” She looked up from the tablet she was jotting all the information on and the look on Bucky’s face made her dial down the usual no nonsense attitude, “She was bleeding for a while, whatever cut her doomed her from the start. You probably saved her life. She’ll be waking up soon. I’ve been told to be wary of her… abilities when she comes to.”

Bucky looked down and noticed the restraints on y/n’s arms, “Those need to come off.”

“Captains orders.” The doctor shrugged

Bucky stormed out, “Steve!”

He could hear him sigh, Steve knew this wasn’t going to go well. “Listen Buck.”

“Don’t listen me. Get those off her.”

“Buck you saw what she can do, its not safe.”

“You don’t understand those will make everything worse. Get Them. Off.”

“And if she runs? What happens if she uses her powers again and the building is at risk again?”

“Those things are going to freak her out. And it wont stop her.” Steve looked out a window. Realization hit Bucky like a truck.

“No.” Bucky growled under his breath as he turned around and headed back towards the room y/n was in again. He had left so quickly his eyes never trailed further than her hands. Steve followed Bucky back this time in order to stop him from doing anything to incriminate himself and put them both in another uncomfortable situation.

“Bucky don’t.” Steve warned

“If you don’t tell her to take these off I’ll do it myself.” Bucky had his hand locked on the wrist restraints.

“You try and take those of by force, you’ll kill her.” Bucky softened, but kept his hand on the restraints, “the one on her neck stops her powers, the ones on her wrists are just so she doesn’t freak out about…”

“Steve. Take it off. I’m not asking.”

“We need to make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone else when she wakes up.”

“Can she be taken out of here?” He turned to the doctor

“oh-well…her levels are stabilizing but I would need to remove the iv and…”

“Great. I’ll take her to back to her house.”

“Okay lets just relax. Buck, come on. Shes a liability right now.”

“I was a liability.” Steve looked down at Buckys accusations, “She hasn’t done anything to warrant that.”

“No? Attacking someone from the team doesn’t count?”

“She gave them a warning alright?” The doctor looked between the two heroes fighting in front of her, dealing with another war between would do no one any good. Whatever they picked they better come up with it soon. “Come on Steve…” Bucky did not like groveling, especially not to Steve, but at the moment the only one that mattered was y/n. “…please?”

“Steve.” Sam came in to try and diffuse the situation, “there will be less casualties if we go with his plan.”

What was happening? Steve’s pushed down his ego and nodded to the doctor. She quickly typed in something on her tablet and the necklace around y/n’s neck beeped three times before a hiss came out and the contraption fell to the floor.

“We should leave, the medication is wearing off and she will be waking up any minute now.”

“I’m not leaving.” Steve was going to argue Bucky but Sam grabbed his arm and pointed his head towards the door. Steve clenched his jaw but nodded and followed begrudgingly. He was convinced Bucky was taking another charity case. He would know, he was the first one. Steve however, hadn’t had the ability to blast people away and shut down power grids. Steve waited till him and sam got on the elevator to say anymore.

“You don’t think she’s dangerous?”

“No more than you and Bucky.” They had barely stepped foot off of the elevator when the lights flickered, “Guess shes up.”

Y/n felt the iv first. Her eyes shot open her hand ready to yank out whatever was strapping her in. She sat upright too quickly, her vision became blurry. Her eyes glowed as Buckys hand touched her arm. She jerked it away ready to attack whoever was running another trial on her, how much more blood could they drain without her consent? No. That was ages ago. Where was she? Buckys hand raised up, he refused to let them down until she was calm. Her eyes flickered as she calmed down. Her quick and shallow breathing was being replaced as she noticed it was just him. He pointed to her and had his arms crossed before his wrists turned outwards

Its okay

Y/n blinked a few times. She must have been seeing that wrong. She had to know, had to be sure,

You know sign?

He ran his hand through his hair, she could see the way he thought about what to say. He always did the same action when he couldn’t figure out the exact words needed. His tongue would always push the inside of cheek but he shrugged and pinched his fingers together,

A little, I’ve been learning

Why?

Bucky couldn’t look at her, it was enough of an answer. Instead when he finally could face her, he chose to help her out. It was a way to make for standing back the first time. It was now, one of his greatest mistakes.

Let’s just get out of here, yeah?

Y/n nodded and Bucky motioned for her to wait so he could get a doctor. Y/n strained herself, moving just a little too fast for her own hood to reach out and grab bucky. The desperation in her eyes was evident. Bringing her here was a betrayal, she knew she wouldn’t have survived without it and was willing to look past that. Bucky leaving her even for a second now that she was awake… She would never forgive him. As much as she would try and reason, the only thing Bucky saw was fear.

He himself did his best to not go near the medical bay unless it was necessary. The tears about to fall from his eyes communicated everything she didn’t need to say. He grabbed his phone and told Sam to ask the doctor to stop by again. Y/n never let go of his hand. Bucky did his best not to think about it, with little success. When the doctor did come the room was silent, the only thing she could hear was the sound of rubber gloves being stretched. Y/ns nails dug into Buckys skin, he instinctively pulled her face away from the doctor and into his chest. The doctor on her end was quick to wrap things up. When the iv was off he let her go. Y/n gestured a silent thank you to Bucky and wiped her eyes before any tears fell. The doctor left quickly after hadning y/n some antibiotics to take and Bucky realized he didnt have much time left. Before he could beg her to stay Wanda snuck in. She got to the point quickly.

“Are you planning on staying?”

Y/n shook her head, clutching Buckys hand again. Fear coursed through her head as she realized that she wouldnt be able to hold all of them off, Not in her current state.

Wanda nodded, “You have about four minutes before they storm in here.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, she braced the sides of the hospital bed before nodding and standing up, Bucky grabbed her as she steadied herself. she looked over at Wanda and she responded by shaking her head

“Vision made sure Bucky couldnt be tracked to your apartment, you’re safe to go back. I’ll see if I can stall.” She tossed a backpack on the bed and left

Panic began filling his body again, he was desperate to make sure she was safe, “Y/n please, I can help you get out tomorrow. You need to rest.”

She smiled sadly at him, put one hand on his face and stood up to kiss his cheek, as Bucky was still processing she snuck out of the room. He was left once again, alone to figure out what he could do. The last time he chose his friend, but y/n left in such a hurry he worried how much of himself he was imposing on her. As with every other time her presence had faded his world seemed to darken. Being with her felt like breathing, and now that she was gone he was suffocating.

Steve came in first, if Bucky didnt look sick himself he would have asked how he could have let her go. Seeing his bestfriend like this, it was something he could at least relate to. He’d lost his chance at love, it was wrong of him to prohibit his friend from trying to do the same. But words failed him, what could he say? Bucky was frozen, as if he hadnt registered anyone else come into the room. Had it already been four minutes? Did y/n make it back in one piece?

“Buck?” Nothing, “Hey Bucky.”

“Hm?”

Steve couldnt figure out how to make this better, “You should get some rest.”

Bucky absently nodded and trudged his way to his room. Steve had followed behind him but Bucky closed the door the second he stepped foot inside, effectively cutting off any chance to try and help. He couldnt take a motivational speech right now.

It took him a few hours to fall asleep, but seconds for the nightmares to begin. As usual there was little he could do to control what he did or saw. Sometimes, his life as the winter soldier would appear and he would repeat the mistakes that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Other times he would be forced to stand and watch as people suffered in front of him for Hydras benefit. Tonight, it seemed that the small break he had with y/n made the worse dreams come froward. On top of everything, y/ns story. He dreamed of being there watching all of the experiments, he imagined torture similar to his own. Her eyes. He couldnt stop the image of her eyes, fighting the sedative he forced on her. He knew she had accepted his actions but those eyes. It was the same look so many of his victims had before he had to kill them. Suddenly all he could see were faces full of fear. Fear and hate. Not one of them believing he meant none of it. He woke up on the floor gasping for air. Sweat and tears covered his face. That was it.

He got in the shower and grabbed his old getaway bag he had saved and stuffed some more clothes before sneaking out. He froze as his hand touched the doorknob. He reached into his pocket and tossed his phone on the bed before he could change his mind.

The halls were dark, the elevators would draw too much attention. He opted for the stairs and hoped no one would hear. Ironically that was the easy part. He waited until he was out to put on a hoodie and slipped into the night. The closer and closer he got to y/ns apartment the more and dread filled hum. What if she wasnt there? What if he got there and the apartment was empty? He thought about any clues she would may have given for another potential location the entire walk over. He’d worried so much he almost missed the building. She would hear him coming, if she ran...would he follow her? He moved as silently as his body allowed. He tried knocking but got no response. He couldnt even text her because he decided to leave his phone. Idiot, he thought. He turned to leave. The silence was response enough. He only took a few steps before he worried if she gotten sick enough to not be able to answer. He thought back to her lack of balance and the way whole body seemed to shake before she left earlier. He tried to breathe, and listen to see if he could hear anything. And he did but not from her apartment, he could hear music. That song he had hummed for months after she left. It was above him. He followed the sign that had roof access.

He was relieved to see y/n alright. Her back was towards him but he was able to see those noise cancelling headphones, the music came from her singing again. He took a couple steps forward but doing so effectively let the door go and slam behind him. He had learned to sidestep quickly as a beam was shot at the door. The door was scorched and smoke rose from the area of impact. He had to stop sneaking up on her. He turned back to see y/n grabbing her stomach as she fell to her knees. Bucky rushed to her side,

“God, one day I’m going to actually hurt you,” She said as she grabbed his shoulder for supprt

“I’m sorry I didnt mean to--”

“I just shot at you and you’re apologizing.” She was trying to joke but her breathing was short

“Can I take you back to your apartment?” Y/n just nodded and let Bucky help, she had been watching the cars wondering if he would show up. She wondered how she missed him even entering the building, she needed to stop wearing those headphones, the distraction was proving to be too much. She took his hand and stood up, she didnt feel as if she could ask for more.

“You dont have to worry about me you know?”

“What?”

“You’re just-- you always try and protect me. I feel like I keep owing you.”

“I want to help.”

“Iknow.” Y/n smiled at him, “well I feel like everythings been about me this whole time.”

“To be fair, you did just get stabbed.”

“That was a whole day ago.” She finally seemed to get him to smile, he was just happy she hadn’t pushed him away once they got back to her door “how have you been?”

“Cant complain.”

“Uh huh, and the nightmares?” Bucky looked away, he felt like she didnt need to worry about anything else.

“Its fine y/n.”

“Fine. Then you should probably be heading back before they come looking for you.” She turned to close the door

“Wait.” His hand shot to stop the door, not yet. She crossed her arms and waited for him to continue. “I dont need to tell you how they’re going. I’m pretty sure you know.”

“Do you need to get away for a bit?” Bucky just nodded, y/n opened the door and let him in, “I’ll get some blankets.”

She didnt get a chance to turn away. Bucky’s mind was pulling him in a million directions. He need the voices to just stop, he wasnt thinking and brought y/n into and pressed his lips against hers. He had to end it

“I- I’m sorry.”

“Why? It took you long enough.” Y/n smiled, and grabbed his hand.

If you asked him what happened that night, Bucky wouldn’t be able to tell you. They stayed up until the next morning talking about things he neither of them could share with anyone. He knew they had originally put on the tv but what was on he didn’t know, still what he could remember was the little things. The way her hair smelled like some tropical flower, the warmth of her skin and the weight of her body against his. The way their bodies seemed to fit just right. He could tell you that she was the one who fell asleep and that for the first time since he was shipped off to war, he was finally able to rest.

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

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Burn The Witch 12 - Bad Surprise [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Sometimes plans have to change.

Series Masterlist

Every job required something from people, and your job was no different.

Being a spy was not a conventional profession, everyone knew that. You were expected to be on the move all the time, be a good liar, be a good fighter, be whatever the job told you to.

And most important of all; never show fear, which you were usually fine with. You had learned long ago how to keep your calm in times of crisis. You had even managed to keep your calm facade when your last mission required you to play Russian Roulette with a target in order to keep your cover.

But this? This was something else.

Bucky cleared his throat to stifle a laugh as he looked down at you.

“Is it just me or are you using me as a human shield against a peacock right now?”

Your eyes snapped up at his for a moment before you turned your gaze to the peacock again, taking a subtle step to Bucky’s right to keep him between you and the animal.

Coming to the zoo was his idea, and you thought it could be a fun experience. You had never been to a zoo before, and it would count as one of the old times dates, so you were almost giggly by the time you got there.

Right until now.

“I think peacocks don’t have souls.”

“Alright.” Bucky sipped his coffee while you tried to ignore the fear bubbling at the pit of your stomach, eyeing the peacock that walked around the area behind the fences.

“I’m serious,” you insisted “What if it attacks me?”

“It’s not going to attack you Y/N.”

“It could,” you said, “It looks like it wants to attack me.”

The peacock fanned out its feathers all of a sudden and let out a squawk, making you jump out of your skin.

“Fuck!” the curse left your lips and Bucky’s eyebrows rose, an amused grin pulling at his lips.

“Sorry!” you said quickly, “Sorry, I…I don’t trust peacocks.”

“You got mugged in a dark alley and got shot, and a bird is where you draw the line?”

Correction, you were once held at gunpoint by the Italian mafia and peacocks were still where you drew the line.

“That’s not a bird.”

“….Peacocks are birds.”

“No, that’s the devil looking like a bird,” you said, “In-in bird shape. Bird shaped demon.”

“Okay, how about we see some other less threatening animal?”

“Let me check—oh my God Bucky they have sharks, I love sharks!” you said, waving the brochure in his face and he pulled his brows together.

“Sharks fall under the less threatening animal category?”

“Of course they do!” you said, looking at the brochure before looking around, “I think the aquarium is over there, let’s go.”

You grabbed his hand to entwine your fingers with his as you both started walking towards the huge blue structure.

“So I feel like I shouldn’t ask because I know you can’t exactly tell me the details,” you said, “But you’re not going on another mission soon, are you? This week?”

“I don’t think so,” he said, “Why?”

“I’m kind of planning something.”

He tilted his head, “What are you planning?”

“Not a club, relax.” you said, “Although I find it quite ironic that you’re this unstoppable brave superhero with super strength who gets intimidated by dancing.”

“I’m not intimidated…” he grumbled under his breath, making you giggle.

“Whatever you say,” you sang, and reached the entrance of the huge building and you pulled your hand out of his.

“Excuse me sir, is the aquarium still open?” you asked the security guard by the door and a small smirk appeared on his lips.

“Yes but it is closing in ten minutes sweetheart.”

Sweetheart?

Jesus Christ….

You smiled politely at him, batting your lashes.

“Oh—“ you took a look at the sign, “I just want to see the killer shark and we’ll be out. In five minutes. Please?”

He eyed you up and down but seemed to snap out of it when Bucky cleared his throat behind you as if warning him, making the guy gawk between you two.

Even you had to admit you seemed like a quite unusual couple. You were wearing a short white sundress with ruffled sleeves and sweetheart neckline with your hair loose while Bucky looked as if he was there to kill someone, a complete opposite of you with his dark jeans and black leather jacket as well as leather gloves.

You didn’t even have to turn your head to know that he was glaring at the guard before the guy shifted his weight, then stepped aside.

“Enjoy.”

“Thank you!” you said, grabbing Bucky’s hand as you led him inside. He followed you without any objections whatsoever, in complete silence as the sight of blue filled your vision along with many fish swimming behind the glass.

“You don’t even see it, do you?” he asked softly and you pulled your brows together.

“Hm?”

“Does anyone ever say no to you?”

You approached the label by the glass, “You do.”

“Do I?”

“All the time,” you nodded, still reading the label but your head shot up when you felt him tug you by the hand. A giggle escaped from your lips as he turned you around so that you could look up at him, then wrapped his arm around you to scoop you up, making you squeal.

“Bucky!”

“All the time?”

“Put me down!” you said, your laughter echoing in the empty aquarium halls and he tilted his head.

“Not until you explain yourself,” he teased you, “All the time?”

“Sometimes, sometimes!” you said quickly, “Very rare times I might add!”

“Mm hm, I thought so.”

“If you drop me, I swear to God—“ you started but was cut off when he pulled you into a kiss, making you wrap your arms around his neck. He took a step with you still in his embrace and you gasped as you felt your back hit the thick glass, but every single protest you could think of seemed to disappear from your mind as you lost yourself in the kiss. You raked your fingernails over the nape of his neck, making his grip around you tighter-

Then someone coughed.

Bucky pulled back instantly and you turned your head to see another rather annoyed technician leaning on her hip, watching you with her brows raised.

“Aquarium is about to close,” she said, pointing at you, “Take it elsewhere.”

Bucky put you down and you tried to fix the skirt of your dress, trying to look presentable.

“Sorry!” you said as Bucky mumbled an apology beside you as well, and the technician shook her head and walked away, talking about how she wasn’t getting paid enough for this. You covered your face and let out a whine but Bucky chuckled, causing you to lower your hands to stare up at him.

“Why is this entertaining for you?” you exclaimed and he held your wrist, gently steering you to the exit.

“Come on.”

“We can never come here again, ever.” you insisted as you followed him outside. It didn’t escape your notice that he bumped his shoulder into the security guard’s quite hard, almost knocking him over on your way out and your jaw dropped.

“That was mean!”

“Nah, he had it coming. Are you hungry?”

“But you could get in trouble. Besides, he was a nice guy—“

“Uh huh, a nice guy who was ogling you.”

You pulled your brows together, pretending to be confused, “Oh I’m sure you misunderstood.”

He tilted his head and pulled you closer to wrap his arm around your waist, then brushed his lips against yours, making you sigh.

“Bucky, it was mean and you can’t just kiss me to distract me—”

“I can try,” he murmured to your lips before kissing you again and you looked up at him when he pulled back with a grin.

“Fine,” you admitted, still pouting. “I’m hungry. Starving actually, let’s eat something.”

***

You were finding it harder and harder to convince yourself it was time to go home after every date with Bucky.

Scratch that, you were finding it harder and harder not to invite him upstairs.

But of course, you would have to report it back to the General and discuss the further strategies with him and for some reason, it felt more of a betrayal than this whole thing.

Surprisingly enough, it was something you wanted and not something you would will yourself to do because of the mission. There was no denying it, he was an attractive guy and you really liked spending time with him and you kept having dreams about him and whenever you were with him you had this lightness in your mind, as if you were a different person.

A better person, maybe.

You shook your head at your thoughts and left your apartment to knock on Keith’s door.

“It’s me, open up.”

You heard footsteps before he opened the door and a boyish smile pulled at his lips at the sight of milkshakes in your hand.

“Jesus, finally!”

“I made it at home, can’t promise it’s good,” you said as you walked past him into his apartment and stepped into the living room, “What are you watching?”

“James Bond,” he grinned at you, “Hey, have you ever tried milkshake with gin?”

“No?”

“Me neither, let’s try it.” He said, taking the big glasses from you to pour gin into them. You sat on the couch and took a look at the screen.

“How many times have you watched this again?”

“Like a hundred,” he handed you your glass and you took a sip.

“Not bad,” you commented, putting your feet up on the coffee table. He sat beside you, keeping his eyes on the screen.

“What did you do today?”

“Had a date.”

“With Barnes?”

“Yeah. At the zoo.”

“He took you to the zoo?” he asked and you nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And peacocks are fucking scary,” you muttered, “And hey, we learned that Bucky is the jealous type.”

“The guy was dating people back at 40s, I could tell you that much myself.” He snorted, “Chloe says you went on a mission with Julian?”

You slipped a little on the couch, “He’s an asshole.”

“I know. Is he really that bad in bed?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Nah as much as I hate to admit, he’s pretty good. Unfortunately.”

“So top or bottom?”

“He goes either way to be honest, that comment was more about me.”

“About you?”

“Yeah, I like to be on top.”

“Suddenly everything about you makes sense,” he murmured and you took another sip of your milkshake.

“Don’t try that with Barnes though, the guy is from 1940s. He’s probably used to missionary only, you don’t want to give him a heart attack,” he wiggled his brows, making you scoff.

“Shut up.”

“Chloe is right, maybe you should go full on vintage on that when the time comes.”

You turned to look at him.

“Speaking of Chloe,” you said, “Anything you would like to tell me?”

Keith’s grin faded slightly and he shifted his weight, “Like what?”

“Bringing her coffee, taking her out to the field…” you trailed off, “What gives, man? I thought we had a deal.”

“We never had a deal,” he defended himself, “You slammed me back during training years ago at the academy and told me not to even think about it when you saw me looking at her.”

“No,” you shook your head, “Five years ago, in Ireland. That undercover job, the one that almost got you killed? We made a deal.”

He swallowed thickly, looking down at the milkshake before taking a sip. “Y/N…”

“Keith, you can’t,” you insisted, “She deserves a normal life, a normal family and kids and a dog and stuff.”

“I know,” he ran a hand over his face, “I know.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re a spy,” you said, “You said it yourself, spies die like flies.”

“Not all of them,” he said, “General is still alive. He has a family.”

“Yeah, one in a hundred,” you said, “Face it. That’s a very low possibility for us.”

“You don’t think you’ll get to grow old and have a family and all that?”

You pulled your brows together.

“No,” you said, “Of course not. I’m probably going to die in one of these missions.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Keith, I can’t have any of those,” you said, “I can’t. I…it’s impossible.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you muttered, “I made my choice ages ago.”

“Y/N,” he sat up straighter, “Do you want to?”

With a very bad timing, your imagination went overdrive and a strange scene flashed before your eyes. You laughing in Bucky’s arms, watching two kids playing in the garden-

You shook your head, trying to shake off the thoughts.

“I could never have that,” you stated simply, “You might love Chloe and you might also be lucky enough to have her love you but…it’s not the same with me.”

“I’d say Barnes loves you.”

A bitter smile pulled at your lips and you bit inside your cheek, taking another sip of your milkshake.

“He loves someone who doesn’t exist,” you managed to croak out, “He loves my cover. He could never love me.”

***

Spending the night at Keith’s and drowning your sorrows in gin and milkshake meant that you would have a killer hangover the next day. Unlike Keith, you didn’t have the luxury to sleep until the noon, seeing that you had a cover job to keep so for the whole day until noon, you walked around like a zombie.

Coffee helped though. Just a little.

Thankfully it was a slow day at the shop. After serving a couple of people, you had nothing to do other than seriously considering sticking your head in the freezer to get rid of the hangover.

“Long night?” Tara asked as she walked past you to put the straws into the cup and you nodded, groaning.

“Remind me not to drink, ever.”

“I make that promise to myself every Monday, does not seem to work.”

You chuckled, “Have you ever tried to mix gin into milkshakes?”

“No?”

“Don’t,” you shook your head as you helped her to move an empty milkshake container into the kitchen. “It’s a terrible idea and I’m experiencing the consequences of that mistake right now.”

“That sounds like a fun night though.”

“Fun night, terrible morning,” you let out a laugh as you walked out of the kitchen but as soon as you did, your eyes caught the sight of the man in the shop. Your smile was wiped off your face as the familiar anger filled your system.

Jesus Christ, this day sucks.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you asked and Julian had the audacity to shoot you a grin.

“Whoa cute outfit,” he said, eyeing you up and down, “Holy shit I didn’t even know I was into this whole thing, I’m having an epiphany.”

You looked over your shoulder to see if Tara was still in the kitchen, then turned to Julian.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was craving milkshakes,” he stated, “Hey, would you recommend Lavender Macaron?”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“I think I’m gonna go with Lavender Macaron, makes me think of France,” he said, “Fun times.”

“Fun for you maybe.”

He shot you a look, “Come on Y/N, we didn’t leave the honeymoon suite for two days. That was the greatest-“ he lowered his voice, “Mission I’ve ever had.”

“You’re putting this entire operation in—“ you started but stopped talking as soon as Tara walked out of the kitchen. Julian raised his brows for a moment before smiling at her and you went under the counter to grab his arm.

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

“Just peachy,” you said as you dragged him out of the shop, and he heaved a sigh, following you.

“No I’m serious…” he said with a chuckle as soon as you both stepped outside, then motioned at the uniform, “This is something else.”

“Why are you here?”

“I heard that it was good, I did not think it was this good.”

“I’m seriously two seconds away from punching you.”

“How come you never dressed up like this for me when we were dating?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you insisted and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I was around.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Believe whatever you want,” he said, “Your shop has good rating, although I’m beginning to believe it has less to do with milkshakes and more about the waitresses.”

“Julian I swear to God—“ you started but you were cut off when someone cleared his throat, making both you and Julian turn your heads. Your stomach dropped as soon as you saw Bucky watching you two with a frown and you withdrew your hand from Julian’s arm.

“Bucky,” you breathed out, “Um-hi.”

“Hi,” he said without taking his eyes off Julian, and you could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

He was trying to decide whether he was a threat to you.

“I didn’t…I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I figured I could drop by,” he said, crossing his arms, “What’s going on?”

Fuck.

Fuck, you had no idea how to turn this around. Thankfully neither of you had said anything about the mission, so it was more than likely that Bucky just knew you knew each other, but other than that, your cover wasn’t blown.

“Nothing! Nothing at all, he’s just—“ you stammered, trying to come up with an explanation, “He’s um—“

“Oh come on Y/N, don’t be one of those secretive people,” Julian said, “You hate secrets. You’re Bucky, right? I heard about you.”

Bucky just raised his brows, his glare on him unwavering but even if it was quite chilling, Julian was a trained assassin just like you were, so he was used to it. Instead he curled his lips, looking between you before offering him his hand.

“I’m Julian,” he introduced himself, shooting you a grin as if you two shared an inside joke “The evil ex-boyfriend who’s gonna take her from you.”

Chapter 13

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #tfatws #bucky barnes imagine #marvel #bucky barnes x you #the falcon and the winter soldier

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

Solace (part 2)

SOLACE (part 2)

A part two but kinda works as a stand alone!!

A/n y’all seemed to like the first one so I thought I’d make a part two :)) This was NOT meant to be a series but now I kind of have an idea to make this a mini series where each part is kind of a blurb that connects to the last part and I think I might do that.

Pairing: General Kirigan/the Darkling x Heartrender! reader

Summary: The day after you go visit General Kirigan at night is also the day he decides he can become more honest about his intentions for you. The softness of it all is starting to get to you but you have a good friend to remind you that it’s okay to feel happy.

The sunlight peers into the room shyly. It stirs me awake into a soft bliss. Warmth. When was the last time I woke up feeling so warm? So rested? I squint my eyes open, still calm. But when my vision finally adjusts, I feel like ice all over again. This is not where I’m supposed to be.

Memories of sneaking here in the darkness of night, speaking to Kirigan so freely, and then letting him convince me to stay. He had seemed to want me here then, in the night when loneliness finds easy prey in even the most hardened individuals...but now, in the morning sunlight--he’ll regret it. We made it clear I’d stay only that night--and that night is now gone. Maybe he expects me to be gone before he rises. I know that’s what most men expect after taking company for the night, but we didn’t exactly partake in activities like that. I think what we did is worse.

Relations like that are about desire, falling asleep with someone else borders on intimacy. One misstep and who knows what I’ll invoke? I shift my gaze upwards, careful to not move in hopes of not disturbing the arms he’s draped across my back, holding me to him. Kirigan seems different in sleep, softer. His features are still sharp, but there’s something gentle about seeing him vulnerable. Something about the way his lashes brush against his cheeks and his lips stay parted just slightly. This moment can never repeat itself. It can never happen again, so I’ll have to hold onto this.

Cautiously, I prepare to slip out of his grasp even though it feels like its the only thing tethering me to this world. I touch his first hand, moving it off of me slowly. I wait a second, and when he remains unstirring I move his other hand.

“What are you so eager for, little wolf?” The raspy, tired quality of his voice leaves my stomach fluttering. His words jar me so much I find myself frozen.

He reaches lazily, placing an arm on the center of my back, trying to ease me back into place. “It’s morning now.”

His thumb brushes up and down my back in a way meant to lull me. “I’m the Shadow Summoner, the night lasts as long as I want it to.” He lets out an easy breath, “And I’m prolonging it.”

Ignoring the warmth the implications of his words bring, I decide to focus on how dramatic he is. “Dramatic even so early in the morning.”

Kirigan’s eyes flutter open, the slightest smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Watch yourself, little wolf.” There is no malice in his voice, only something hinting at teasing too humane for me to trust.

I roll my eyes, letting his fingers brush wherever he wants them to--up and down my back, down the arms I am too aware of. The desire to touch him easily, casually, just to prove that I have that privilege. I stretch, pushing down thoughts of rejection as I place a hand on his chest. He pauses, one hand frozen in place on my back. Slowly, he moves his hand away from me. I tense, preparing to retract my hand. He catches my hand before I can pull it away, moving it towards him easily until my hand is against his cheek.

“Y/n.” He’s called me my name so few times, and the restraint in his voice leaves me unnerved. “Will you wear a black kefta today?”

His color. Perhaps he meant the promise of solace more literally than I thought. Anyone who sees me will think I’ve been claimed by him in one way or another. Perhaps I have been. The thought stirs my chest, moving me in a way I can’t distinguish as a positive or negative. I feel myself being ensnared in a lovely trap, but when I look at him, at the honesty burning in his gaze, it’s almost as if he’s asking me to claim him.

“Yes.” Again the word leaves me as if willed by some outside force.

Kirigan’s intensity dwindles slightly. His hand drops from over mine, but I keep mine on his cheek, running my thumb across his skin. “You’ll do good for me today, little wolf.” His words leave no room for argument. I think speaking like that is a talent of his. “You always do so good for me.” The admiration in his words melt something in me, my entire body warmed in a way I don’t understand. Kirigan brushes his knuckles across my cheek again.

I’ve been silent for too long, each second I waste inflating his ego. “You’re suspiciously nice in the mornings.”

“You’re only skeptical because you never let anyone take care of you.” His words are chiding and the implication of them leaves my face warm. “So much promise,” he muses, hand trailing down my jawline, “So much power,” his fingers skim down my neck and across my collarbone. “I wonder what someone like you could do with an amplifier.”

An amplifier. I’ve seen them in use, and knowing what I could do with something that strengthens my already abrasive abilities. I could be a monster so easily. Kirigan must see some of my concern because he’s quick to sit up a little more in order to close the distance between us the way he did last night. He brushes his lips against my collarbone in a way that leaves me distracted by wanting. A wanting for what, I’m not sure. I ease into his touch.

“Today everyone will know what you are.” His voice is gentle against the base of my neck. “And they will know that we are meant to be equals.”

I feel the need to panic rise in my chest, but it’s dulled by the warmth his lips leave against my skin. “I’m only a Heartrender, I can’t be your equal.”

“You are,” he whispers, so assured, “With a heart as good as yours you may even be more.”

His words are too weighted for so early in the morning, but there is always tension with him. Shadows are meant to be weightless but I think they’re like anything else--carry enough of them and eventually you’ll break.

When he straightens I move to follow him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. “You’re good, too.” There has to be goodness in him. No one capable of such warmth and gentleness can be made up entirely of wicked things.

“You claimed I was a villain.”

Did my words really impact him so? “My opinion isn’t law.”

Something strange flickers across his features. “It might as well be.”

I swallow back a bundle of nerves. “Sometimes I’m wrong.”

The words crack something vulnerable in me. A part of me thinks he can feel the part of me that’s breaking in hopes of offering him something.

“You really are my solace.” I don’t know how to reciprocate such a gilded sentiment.

I rest my head against his shoulder, taking his hand. “I’m glad to be that.”

He squeezes my hand. “We should go get ready before people start to notice our absence.”

I consider reminding him what he told me last night, but he has a point. There’s a difference between a rumor of me pacing in the night and both of us showing up late at the same time. Still though, a part of me is already grieving this version of Kirigan. Outside of this room his coldness will return. ‘Just for tonight’. We had agreed on that. But when the night ended, and the morning sun colored us both sane again, he had asked me to wear his color.

“I’ll go get dressed,” I stay still.

Kirigan runs his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ll have a black kefta sent to you.”

That has to mean something. Wait--do I want it to mean something? I pull my hand away from his stiffly, standing because I know the longer I’ll wait the worse it will be. “I’ll see you during training.”

“My door will be unlocked after.”

At that, my chest swells. He’s offered me an opening. “Good to know.”

His eyes narrow slightly at my coyness. “Find me after?”

“Only because you’re nicer in here.” He wants me to come back.

The black kefta does not feel like my own. The color is too alluring, too dark and enthralling. It is not meant for someone like me. It feels borrowed, but I’m not entirely uncomfortable. It’s almost like he’s still with me, keeping me from being alone.

When I walk down the halls, I feel the stares of the others sticking to me like tar. They barely tolerated me before--the grisha plucked from the slums after a fateful night in which Kirigan saw the extent of my abilities.

“New clothes, l/n?”

Julian’s words coax an easy smile from me. Always so open, so accepting. Even now he doesn’t pester me about the black kefta. “I barely noticed.”

My lack of real response earns me a playful glare. “Is that the only explanation I get? Moving up the ranks without me?”

I roll my eyes. He’s joking, but he’s drawing more eyes to me. “I’m not leaving you, Julian.” He’s been too good a friend for me to leave. “Nothing’s changed except the color of my clothing.”

“Good.” Julian’s lips twitch upwards, offering me the kind of smile that’s earned him many trysts with many women. “I’d miss you too much.”

And while I doubt that my disappearance would do anything else than up his popularity, I appreciate the sentiment. “Oh I’m sure you’d find a way to find company.”

He half laughs, “What are you implying of my virtue?”

Laughing, I roll my eyes as we continue to walk down the halls. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

Julian reaches for me, touching my forearm. I stall. “In all seriousness, y/n, I really appreciate your friendship.”

Aw. Never did I think I’d have so many people to appreciate here. I think of Kirigan, of the vulnerability in his words and the new facet of him I saw last night that I somehow always knew he had in him. He may be a villain, or just one in the making, but he is more than a dark shadow. I find myself releasing I appreciate Kirigan too. It’s different than the way I care about Julian, more fragile, but it’s still a relationship I’ve created here.

I look down at the space where his hand touches my forearm. “I really appreciate your friendship, too. You’ve gotten me through a lot.”

“You need to give yourself some credit.” He releases my arm, turning to continue to walk forward.

I turn as well, “You should too.”

I look forward, and there, in the near distance is Kirigan. He’s staring at me, eyes lacking everything he had earlier. I offer him a small smile. He does not return it, his drops slowly to the ground. Weird. I guess he’s just turning on his indifference for a day of training. He asked me to wear his color, he asked me to come back.

Does he regret it? Maybe it was a premature request for me to wear his color so publicly. His gaze finds mine again, and with a tilt of his head he gestures for me to follow him.

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #general kirigan #genereal kirigan x reader #genereal kirigan imagine #grisha #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagine #grisha reader #shadow and bone show #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x you #imagine #x reader #my works

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ryoryeonggu · 3 years

Text

To begin with, I’ve never been related to any characters like Jang Han Seo. It was oblivious that he was suffering from depression, anxiety and PTSD resulting from the abuse that he had been endured at home, but it seemed like he had the sign of social phobia as well. As we could see in the drama, his life completely revolved around his brother, he had no friends, no interested in dating or attracting to anyone (if we can count Han Seung Hyuk as his “friend” since he might be closer to him than anyone other than Han Seok and before Vincenzo). It might be because of the tittle as The Chairman of Babel and being born in a wealthy family which make him aware that people wanted to get close to him only for money or taking advantage of him to get what they wanted. But the things is, he seemed to avoid any chance of building relationships that have the potential to be more intimate or more complex than basic communication, rejecting even the slightest touch, not just with Han Seok - the one he's afraid of but almost everyone else.

For example, back when Vincenzo (the one he became extremely close to later on) was only a stranger and he pretended to be a fan to approach Han Seo. He appeared to be extremely enthusiastic and just only showed the want of touching Han Seo, Han Seo immediately flinched away and made a clearly uncomfortable expression. He looked at his hand like a gun pointing at him.

Example 2, when Han Seung Hyuk - the one who had close relationship than anyone else besides his brother at that time, just about to go closer to him and he already gave the big “Don’t touch me bitch” energy and make a gesture for him to go away.

This is the first time he had met his sister-in-law (applying for both his blood and adopted brothers). It didn’t go well.

Han Seo himself had proven to be an extremely clingy person and liked to actively skinship towards the people he was close to, but for others, when being touched, his body will immediately generate rejection and fear as a reflex.

Jang Han Seo had another trait that he was completely used to people ignoring him, not taking him seriously, but if someone liked him, complimented him, spoke well of him, then he didn't know how to react naturally as if his brain was immediately shut down. I totally understand this, because I have the same problem, if someone insults me even with the most hurtful things, I'll be like "you say nothing that I don’t already know. I also insulted myself like that every day so we have the same opinion bro” xD But if people compliment me with kind words, I will be extremely surprised, even scared and panic. I will be worried sick about how to make people continue to think well of me and what if I do something wrong later that makes them no longer like me. But of course, when the anxiety reaches a certain level, my mood will turn into: "Nevermind, let's care about it later. Who give a f*ck if they like me or not" lol But Jang Han Seo wasn’t like that. He remembered and held on to the praises of others stubbornly. Many people think that Han Seo betrayed Han Seok just because of Vincenzo, but in fact, the first person to put that thought into Han Seo's head was Han Seung Hyuk. He did not convince him with the benefits, fame, and money of being the true chairman of Babel, but that how he, on behalf of Babel’s member and as an employee of the company, valued and needed him. He hyped him up as the "sharp, ambitious and not murderous" ideally chairman, the only hope of Babel’s bright future and the only person that the people in the company could depend on. Before that, although he was really angry that Han Seok constantly rejected his offers, Han Seo kept saying "Are you telling me to betray my brother? Do you even know what you are saying?" showed that he completely accepted that he wasn’t able to run the company and continued to live in Han Seok's shadow, until Mr. Han opened a new vision for him. Han Seung Hyuk's words couldn’t tell that he was really meant it or not, and maybe Han Seo already knew he was untrustworthy, but it sparked the thought that he could actually do better than his brother and be capable of turning Babel into something good. When negotiating with Vincenzo, he mentioned not only that he wanted Vincenzo to spare his life but also Babel (not just the company itself or its property, but also the employees whose life depended on the company’s survival) Then Vincenzo came. Before Vin hyung appeared, Jang Han Seok was completely Han Seo's ideal model for him to look up to and learn from. He yelled at people’s face and throw hockey balls to their stomach to show his authority (like how his brother beated the shit out of him with a hockey stick when he messed up in the previous episode), making people afraid so they could listen to him (but most of his efforts failed miserably because he just looked like an adorable bratty angry kitten). Then Vin hyung appeared, encouraged him to study harder and gave him a completely different role model, the man he wanted to become. And that's when he started to change, showing his true self, he let his hair down, started to wear clothes that looked comfortable and youthful, laughed more often and looked more alive. After his brother went to prison, he turned into a friendly, gentle and loving chairman and didn't shout at anyone anymore xD Continued to episode 19, when Vincenzo mentioned the possibility of Han Seok being released from prison early and would come to him first, advising him to fly away to a foreign country, Han Seo, although trying to hide it, clearly shows his fear (of course when you've been terrified of something all your life, fear can't disappear within a day or two), but still refuses to run away because "I made a promise to you." Even when Vincenzo made it clear that "you can keep your promise to me later" and still tried to convince him, Han Seo was still determined to stay and fight to the end. Simply because Vincenzo showed his belief in Han Seo, that he had potential, he could change and become a better person, a trustworthy person that could count on, and because of that, he would do it everything to live up to that expectation (which he has proven he could - or at least tried to - do everything, except murders xD). Others' faith in him is Han Seo's biggest motivation, because he's probably used to being seen as a useless person without any value, a piece of trash that doesn't deserve to exist, not only for his brother, but also for his parents, who see his birth as an accident, a mistake of a casual cheating hook up, not a miracle result of their desire to have a child. That is also the reason why Han Seok completely failed to convince his little brother to betray Vincenzo by promising to give him all of Babel, it could be seen in Han Seo's reaction that there was not a bit of greed or joy, but a complete shock at his brother’s brutal request, and he still didn't move at all. It was only when Vincenzo took the initiative to kneel and asked him to do what Han Seok told him to do, Han Seo finally was able to stand up, and when Vincenzo said "It's okay", implying that he would’ve fully understood if Han Seo had chose to kill him for survival, in that moment he already knew what he had to do, even at the cost of the life that he treasured the most. Because what Han Seo longed from the beginning was never Babel, but rather to become a kind of meaningful existence, not only for others but also for himself.

#jang han seo #jang han seok #vincenzo #jang brothers #the jang bros #kwak dong yeon #vincenzo kdrama #han seung hyuk #vincenzo cassano #jang hanseo #jang han seo best boy #jang han seo deserves better

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Note

Hi! Im the one req 7 for chuuya sorry i didint specified, i just realized it. Can i get angst prompt 7 for chuuya?

Hiya! This pained me to write, so I made it fluffy at the end... sorry if u were looking for pure angst! I can't go to sleep peacefully peacefully after writing angst, I need to clutch my soft toys and cry myself to sleep..

Warnings: Angst to fluff, maybe a swear word at the end.. dw, it's just "bish", but like the actual word.

Word count: 2006 😳yes, I got carried away

Nakahara Chuuya + “Please wake up”

Forewarning

“Don’t move, Chu.”

You grumbled against his chest. It was yet another lazy morning for the two of you. Lazy mornings consisted of waking up late, cuddling on the bed till lunch time, getting dressed and having dinner at some exotic place, going for a long drive, then coming back home. It was a perfect day for a traditional lazy day, except for the fact it was a weekday.

Chuuya sighed. He had to get to work, and so did you. You both couldn’t afford to miss any workdays, considering that you both worked for the same organization, one that didn’t hesitate to punish for untimely work. Chuuya was an executive, and so were you. You both had multiple solo missions planned out for today and one mission wherein you both had to team up. It was going to be quite a busy day, and Chuuya wanted nothing more than to just get it all over with. He was looking forward to some lazy cuddles in the evening, after both of your jobs were done.

“We have to get dressed, dove.”

He tried reasoning with you. You were a workaholic, just like him. It surprised him to see this lazy side of you. But then again, you must be tired, he thought.

“I know. But let’s bunk today!”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, hoping to convince him.

Chuckling, he pet your head affectionately.

“The mafia isn’t some school that you could just bunk. Besides, don’t you love working?”

You frowned at that. You were feeling weird today. It’s like something was forewarning you. But about what?

“I just have a bad feeling about today. I don’t know why, but I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

He sighed. He was never one to believe I such things. That was why you weren’t telling him until now.

“We work in the mafia. How worse can it get?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

You smiled, getting up to get ready.

....

“The target is in the warehouse.”

Chuuya said to you. You both were currently seated in Chuuya’ s car, parked on a hill. Your stakeout point had a clear view of an abandoned warehouse. Apparently, it was the location where a rival gang was coordinating with some members of the mafia and stealing their goods. You both had already executed the moles and had sent in one of your trusted members as a pretend mole. He would send you both a signal when he felt that the security was the weakest at the entrance. You both would then attack. He was supposed to cause a commotion in there, resulting in majority of the guards to rush inside and leave the entrance wide open for you two. Your men had already sealed all exits to ensure no one got out. Now you were both waiting for the signal.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

Chuuya pouted at your jab.

“I was just being thorough!”

“By stating the obvious?”

“You’re so mean.”

“Says the angry redhead.”

“What has my hair got to do with anything?!”

“Your hair has got to do with everything! I-”

A sharp sound was heard. Both you and Chuuya were blinded for a second as white filled your vision. You felt your torso pinch a little. It almost felt like someone was sticking a few needles into your tummy. You heard screams. They sounded frantic. A few moments later, your vision cleared, and you saw yourself floating in the air, a frantic Chuuya saying something to you. It all sounded mangled and mixed up. If you could have laughed at the moment, you would have laughed at how funny he sounded.

The screams had turned to cries, now. You were so confused. Who was crying? And why was Chuuya pressing down on your stomach?

Looking down, you saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. It had completely soaked your shirt. Chuuya was using his ability and his hands to keep it in. He seemed hurried. His eyes were watery, and streams of tears were flowing down his cheeks.

Finally understanding the situation, you realised that you were injured. Looking down at your torso, you saw the two bullet wounds. And now, you finally felt them. The pain was overwhelming. It rushed in like water at the breaking of a dam. It completely filled you up. You now realised that those cries of pain were actually your own. You wished to have never woken from your daze. You wanted to remain oblivious. You wanted the pain to go back to mere pinpricks. It was too much. Succumbing to the enormous pain, you let your eyes shut close. You realised that your body was going to sleep. Maybe for the last time.

....

Chuuya sat in a chair next to your sleeping form. You were lying unconscious on the clean white sheets of the hospital bed. Your entire torso was covered in bandages. You had taken two bullets, one in the side and one right next to your belly button. The doctors were able to save you in time, and it was a matter of time till you gained consciousness.

Chuuya held his face in his hands. The memories of just moments prior to visiting the hospital kept running through his head. He kept seeing flashes of your blood oozing out of your body. He kept remembering the way your eyes had glazed over while he tried to apply pressure on your wounds. There was so much blood. His mere two hands were proving to be inefficient. So, he had activated his ability to push the blood back in. He had no clue if that had helped. He remembered activating his ability the moment you had let out a blood curdling scream. He had levitated you both out of the car and high up in the night sky.

He should have listened to you. Your forewarnings were right. Something terrible had ended up happening. The mole he had sent inside was found murdered by the backup team, and the head of the organization had fled. His men had taken up sniping positions all across the hills. Two of them had shot you at once. He remembered going on a mad spree and pelting boulders at all the men in his sight using his ability right before he flew to the hospital with you in his arms.

“Has she gained consciousness?”, the doctor asked as she peeked in. Chuuya had asked all medical personnel to leave him alone with his sweetheart, a little too passionately, after they were done treating you, and hence the poor doctor was a tad bit scared to check up on your vitals.

Chuuya whipped his head up.

“No.”

The doctor scrunched her brows in worry. Rushing in, she did some tests.

“I’m sorry, sir, but if the patient doesn’t wake up in another hour, we will have to declare a coma condition.”

“What?!”

The doctor jumped at his outburst, but answered him, nonetheless.

“The body is behaving as if it is already in coma. This can also be because it is repairing itself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be coma.”

She sighed.

“But, if the patient retains this state of unconsciousness, we will have to rule out a natural healing process. I suggest you try to communicate with the patient. Sit close, hold hands, maintain physical contact. Try speaking. That way, maybe the body will react to a familiar scent, touch or voice, and gain consciousness.”

Chuuya gulped, worried, and nodded.

“I understand.”

He shakily made his way to your face, observing your serene features. He hesitantly put your hair behind your ear, breathing unsteadily. He felt immense guilt and anger. He was guilty of not paying your uneasiness an ear, and he was angry because he couldn’t save you. If only he had been more vigilant, more aware of his surroundings, he would have been able to smell a rat.

“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have been able to protect you.”

He gasped inaudibly, trying to keep his sobs in. He couldn’t stop the tears. They flowed freely down his cheeks, a symbol of his immense fear of losing you. He couldn’t bear the idea of loosing you. It might be selfish of him, but he wanted you to live, because God-forbid, if you didn’t, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He knew that if such a devastating situation ever occurred, he would lose all sanity and go mad. He would lose his mental balance and completely fall off the edge. He couldn’t bear to be separated from you for two days, forget the rest of his lifetime.

He caressed your cheek, smiling bitterly at your sleeping form. Nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, he let himself truly cry. He let out all his emotions into your hair. He found comfort in your warmth. He has always felt the safest in your embrace. That’s where he could truly be himself.

He didn’t realise how long it had been when he began talking to you. Telling you how much he loved you and how he couldn’t live without you. He pondered on how he would take his life if you left him.

“I’d have to go to that stupid mackerel for guidance. But then again, he has been unsuccessful in killing himself for 22 years. He’s probably the worst suicidal guy out there.”

He was lying next to you now, cradling your frail form in his arms.

The doctor waltzed in, a serious and sorrowful expression straining her pretty features.

“Nakahara-san, I’m so sorry.”

Chuuya gritted his teeth, holding onto you tighter.

“No! There’s still a chance that-”

“Its hopeless. The patient has already been in this state for 16 hours.”

“16 hours?”

The doctor smiled sympathetically.

“I gave you a lot more time. I thought maybe the constant contact would help. But sadly, it’s out of our hands now.”

Chuuya sat up, holding your face in his large palms.

“Wake up! Wake up, damnit!”

He shook you gently, desperate to get any kind of reaction out of you.

“Nakahara-san! Please get away from the patient! You mustn’t cause any harm! Security?!”

The doctor rushed forward to pull Chuuya off of you, but he held onto you. He grabbed your arms, looping his own around them and pulling you towards him.

“Wake up!”

He rested his face on your chest, sobs escaping him.

“Please... please wake up...”

The doctor reached forward to clasp his shoulder, trying to pry him off of you.

A large gasp followed by couple of coughs were heard.

You took in a large breath, trying to swallow. Your throat was dry and scratchy.

“Y/N!”

Looking up, you saw Chuuya holding you in his arms, a relieved and surprised expression on his elegant features.

“Hey.”

Your voice sounded raspy, but it was music to his ears.

He engulfed you in a hug, one that knocked the air out of your lungs.

“She’s still a patient!”

The doctor reprimanded as the security guards pulled Chuuya off of you.

You smiled at the tiny ginger.

“I’m alive, Chu. Stop being dramatic.”

Chuuya laughed at your carefree attitude. He didn’t resist the men as they pulled him out of the room. He was relieved to see you awake. He didn’t care about anything else. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up.

“Call Gin and tell her that I’m not dead!”

“You don’t need to call me, idiot. I was waiting right outside.”

You smiled as she walked in, giving you a hug.

“Why does she get to go in but not me?!”

Chuuya whined.

“Hey Gin, guess what?”

Gin smiled at you, sitting at the edge of your bed at the nurses did their check-ups.

“What?”

“I’m alive, bitch!”

Your snickers could be heard till the hallway, where the rest of your friends were seated. Shaking his head, Tachihara snickered.

“Good ol’ Y/N.”

231 notes · View notes

selinakidreams · 3 years

Text

hello hello hello ! this is my comfort piece for @doinmybesthere ‘s mental health awareness month collab! and I’d just like to say a huge thank you to emme for creating such a wonderful collab and thank you for letting me be apart of it.

paring: kirishima eijirou (I’m talking 7ft big strongman vibes) x empathic quirk f!reader (established relationship)

word count: 3.7k +

genre: hurt/comfort + fluff

warnings: mentions of anxiety & toxic friendships, instigating with means to harm- please let me know if I missed anything!!

a/n: this I think,, was the best way to approach what has tormented me for years. it was a reoccurring thing for me but I never handled it properly, and just this year, someone important taught me that I deserve more than what I’ve been putting myself through. so here it is! I also think that once my schedule clears up, I’m gonna make a sister piece to this but idk !! let me know if you guys would be interested in that!

++ the absolute biggest thank you to my betas/flow checkers @doinmybesthere @lady-bakuhoe @keishinslove BIG kith

pss. the first person who can guess my love language based off this fic wins a prize

Turning other’s confidence to despair, gloating to fear, persistence to tiredness, motivation into loss- but all you felt was drained. The overuse of your quirk left your head feeling full of cotton; Your chest heaving and vision slightly blurry.

You arrived late to the fight because what started as a relaxing day off quickly turned into a rush to get to the streets. Thankfully Red Riot had been on the scene, waist-deep and stalling a full-fledged fight between two combat villains until backup came.

His tired eyes met yours and you flashed him a hopeful smile until witnessing the villain get a short-termed upper hand. They landed a solid punch, which caused you to feel not only the repercussions of the shock-inducing impact but your building guilt of being a distraction.

Years of training reminded you not to let it get to your head, your hero instincts kicking in after emotionally experiencing that strike. Heart pumping with adrenaline, you began to focus your heart and mind, simultaneously tuning into what those around you were feeling, never forgetting to keep your eyes wide and alert.

Confidence, eagerness, perseverance, exhaustion, determination.

Taking a breath as you ease into a rhythm, you kept your sights on the two people who were attacking the boulder of a hero and finally, a steady grasp.

Quirk at work, the familiar mental image of loose strings flowing in the wind appeared, and you grabbed a hold of them, symbolizing that you had caught hold of their feelings and wasted no time on bending and contorting to your will. You watched as their actions became slower and less motivated, making it easier for Kirishima to handle. He must have realized what was happening, a new surge of elation pumped through him as he began to knock both of the villains down a peg.

Seeing him fight had always been such a marvel to watch; it was so easy to be mesmerized by the sheer enthusiasm he had while trying to keep the balance and execute justice. Kirishima Eijirou was a hero in all senses of the word- and not just any hero, your hero- as cheesy as it sounded.

Secured under his weight and possibly unconscious, Red Riot looked around, a bit disheveled, until his gaze found yours. Expecting to be met with the warm sincere smile that always made your heart flutter, your heart sunk when you saw his eyes turn wide and frantic as he called out your hero name.

On top of feeling a bit dizzy from honing into those particular subjects and manipulating two people at once, a wave of distress washed over you, adding to the unfavorable aftermath of pushing your quirk.

You were quick to whip around, finding another villain was closing in closer than expected. You dropped all previous controls and focused solely on the person in front of you.

“You had gotten better since the last time I saw you,” they sneered as they attempted to land a hard-hitting kick to your stomach.

Missing by a hair, you pushed past the dreariness in your head and went straight into a defensive position.

The close-cut dodge wasn’t the only thing to throw you off; now you had realized why Kirishima looked at you like that; your traumatic past, the one you had divulged to him in the safety of your home, warbling with tears streaking your cheeks, was coming back to roughhouse with the intent of ending in a knockout.

Fear twisted into gut-wrenching anxiety; the plummeting feeling hit the bottom of your stomach with a harsh thud.

In front of you stood the unmistakable frame of someone you had considered to be one of your closest friends for a time; someone that seemed so natural to be with, someone you divulged secrets and shared smiles with, someone that had made it seem like separation was not an option- now turned villain, sporting a suited evil smirk smeared on their face.

It was hard not to let the tears collect on your waterline, thinking about the whirlwind of your relationship as your gaze met theirs for the first time in years. Months and months of triggered breakdowns, cold sweats from various nightmares, and countless tears have been shed as time progressed, the sinking feeling of long-lost fear that they had put you through now showing its ugly head; the thought you had convinced yourself for so long- that you ended up not even being worth their time starting to resurface.

It had been hard to learn the lessons that were dealt and see the mistakes made on both parts- not just yours, to pick up all the shattered expectations of what a true friendship is, but you had. Now you were able to sort through the wrong sorts and had gotten emotionally and mentally stronger because of it; in many ways, the ending of the friendship helped you realize that there were ways you deserved to be treated, and like shit wasn’t one of them.

However, it almost seemed like all the progress you had made swirled down the drain now that they were in front of you. It was like you were experiencing the heartbreak of them ending the friendship all over again.

“Awww! The poor little hero is still heartbroken after I left her?” their tone patronizing as they jutted out their bottom lip to form an exaggerated pout. “Look at you! I can practically see the desperation on your face- desperate for me to come back? You’ve always been so fucking clingy. But you know, the news has you pinned as like... some kind of saint… no, no. You’re nothing but a selfish attention whore playing the good guy... so I just wanted to stop by and remind you of the truth.” they sneered, really aiming to trigger your trauma.

You had opened up to them about all your fears; from the smallest to the all-consuming ones, so for them to be targeting you like this… they must have thought that you haven’t changed- and you fucking have. You worked damn hard to do so; You’ve grown and have started appreciating yourself more, started loving yourself more, started working on yourself more. The villain was only targeting your past worries, keyword, past.

Regardless, you were already feeling too much as is and the best thing you could do for yourself right now was to control yourself.

The urge to take it personally was beyond tempting- to make them suffer as they had done to you, to watch them break right in front of you… But there was a specific way to handle this situation, one you’ve envisioned more than enough, the perfect high route.

Quickly looking back to see how Kirishima was fairing, you were met with the rock hero in the process of cuffing the other two offenders, allowing you to feel a rush of relief. You turned around and mentally centered yourself. The convict seemed to put together what you were about to do, so without hesitation, they began charging only a second too late.

Taking a breath, the perfect feeling to muddle their prideful feeling down surged through you as you carefully knotted their violent stings together.

It was the feeling you faced when all was said and done after, the outcome you faced after you had gone through confronting all of the trauma that was built up by this person.

All you felt was emptiness.

When it hit them, you saw it in their eyes as they stopped in their tracks. No smugness, no pride, no cowardness. Nothing to egg them on and yet nothing to make them feel terrible. Blank.

Before confusion slithered its way to their consciousness, you took the opportunity and roundhoused them- your efficient ankle sweep knocking their head to the floor, deeming them unconscious.

Crouching to the floor next to their body, you made sure they were breathing before cuffing them and standing back up, turning around you double-check on the scene behind you.

The police furthest from you were tucking the Red Riot’s villains in their cars while the others jogging towards you kept their eyes on the limp body behind you, Kirishima in tow. He looked incredibly tired but couldn’t seem to keep the smile off his face. He felt proud.

A weak smile graces your lips as you try to take a step, only to see your vision blur.

Great.

The last thing you saw was the panicked look in his eyes as his pace quickened to a run in attempts to catch you. You faded out to the sound of an urgent call of your actual name before your body hit the ground with a thud.

The next few hours came in slow-paced blinks.

The first time you opened your eyes post-fight, your body felt heavy… but you were moving. It didn’t take long to realize that you were being carried by the muscular arms that you wake up to every morning. Slowly peeling your eyes open, the sight of his signature spikey red hair reminded you that what had just happened. Your boyfriend, the one who was on the scene with you, had witnessed you overcome one of the people that truly had left damage on you. He wasn’t looking at you, but staring straight ahead; by the way, his fingers curled around your bicep and thighs, it had been tough for him to watch everything that had gone down.

You tried to call out his name, but it sounded stifled, sounding more like a broken whisper than anything. After another try, he seemed to have heard you, his ears perking up even though all the commotion- or maybe it was just ironic timing. When his red eyes caught the beaming smile you attempted to comfort him with, he tried to mimic it, only you could make out the way his bottom lip quiver. Your eyelids became unbearably heavy and for the second time, unconsciousness took its hold over you.

Blink.

The next time your eyes peeled open, you were being inspected by the all-to-familiar medical team. The inside of the ambulance was much brighter than it was outside, fluorescent lighting causing you to squint. Unnamable hands were touching your head and pulse points. When they noticed your eyes open, they tried to keep you awake as long as possible, the first step was sitting you up on the gurney. The first person you made eye contact with was your designated nurse- the one with the most comforting presence, was that part of her quirk?

With a kind smile and knowing eyes, she jerked her head in the direction of the person she knew was first to come to mind. Following the movement, your gaze landed on Kirishima, who was standing off to the side and chewing on his nail, arms crossed against his chest.

Had he already got checked out? Was he okay?

When he noticed you were staring, he mustered up a small smile and in return, you slightly lifted both your hands to do a loose wave in attempts to warm up his smile. It worked.

“Okay c’mon, you know how these checkups go- you can go be with your boyfriend once we know you’re okay.” your nurse teased, knowing full well that a serious approach wasn’t going to work with you being this drowsy.

You merely nodded in response, head and eyelids still heavy.

The rest of the examination went by speedily, you being awake making everything go ten times smoother. After everything was checked and you were clear to go home, the nurses moved to talk to Kirishima as you moved to the edge of the ambulance, waiting for them to finish.

“I’m so lucky that you’re not only my hero but also a registered caregiver. Well actually… both are pretty super...” You mumbled, trailing off with a lazy smile, lids finally starting to accept the losing battle of staying open.

“Nooo, you’re lucky that it’s the overuse of your quirk that’s keeping you out of the hospital and not fatal injuries. It’s not manly to push yourself too hard.” he quipped back in a light playful tone; He didn’t miss how hard you were fighting to stay awake. “Baby, can you make it to the car or do you want me to carry you?”

It was moments like this where you appreciated how comfortable Kirishima made you feel in your relationship; feeling no shame when you revert to a clingy pile of mush. Reaching out, you let your eyes close as you mimic grabby hands to your enormous boyfriend.

You hear him sigh as he kneels in front of you, opening your eyes in time to catch his broad back muscles shifting, “c’mon love, you need to help me with this bit.”

You clumsily climb on his back and loosely wrap your arms around his neck, standing up with ease. He quickly adjusts you against him to get a better hold on your thighs. Once he begins walking, you let yourself subside back into unconsciousness.

Blink.

You were jolted awake when you felt yourself falling, only for your behind to hit a familiar cushiony surface. Oh right, the car. Before you could fade out once again, you heard Kirishima say something about going to grab the paperwork so the both of you can file your reports later when you wake up. The last thought you were able to think was something along the lines of how incredibly lucky you were to have someone love you so deeply.

Blink.

Waking up to the view of the city lights twinkling below your balcony and the energy of a healthy 8 hours of sleep, you stretch the rest of the drowsiness out of your body till you feel ready to accept the hefty amount of paperwork that’s waiting for you in the other room.

The only light that illuminated your bedroom was the reflection of the living room lights on the hallway floors. Before getting up, you spared a glance at your nightstand, seeing a glass of water with a note underneath, as predicted; this happened more often than not after a battle. You reach out and take the glass in hand and take a steady sip before letting in more and more water, then reading the messy little note:

in the livingroom <3

You smiled at the little doodle he drew- two characters that seem a lot like the two of you, kissing, with a sparkly heart over their heads.

The need to recreate this drawing was growing at an incredible speed.

With newfound determination, you push yourself up from the bed and shuffle to the living room, squinting when the light becomes a little too harsh against your eyes.

Eyes fully closed when you get to the center of the living room, purposely facing the wrong way and trying to suppress a giggle, you try to use the most monotone voice you could muster.

“Kiri - where are you I can’t see.”

“Your eyes are closed- babe, open your eyes.”

“No it’s too bright but I saw this cute drawing on the nightstand done by this really talented artist and I must recreate it please recreate it with me.”

You heard a bit of shuffling before his voice came close to your left side.

“Was it a pretty manly drawing?”

“I would like to think so.”

He was much closer at this point, shifted to somewhere close in front of you right before warm lips were on yours; as quick as the peck came, it was gone in a flash followed by the sound of him plopping down on the couch.

“Wait Eijirou-” you start to pout as you turn in the direction where the couch is, eyes now fully open and set on Kirishima until the shock of pain shot through your nerve endings.

“Ah, shit! Fuck!…” you wince, lifting your leg to hug your newly stubbed toe.

Kirishima is back by your side in an instant, really trying to suppress his laugh but doing a terrible job.

“You’re such a jerk for laughing,” you pout, giving your best attempt of a proper shove… and he didn’t even budge.

There was a moment of complete silence then the booming of your boyfriend’s boisterous laughs bouncing off the walls. Rolling your eyes, you limped over to the spot on the couch where he was previously sitting, and as the cushion beside you dips, you sigh.

The sight in front of you was a disheveled mess. Scribbled on papers were thrown about- most were filled out but there were a few that were blank, pens and highlighters could be spotted under and over random reports.

“I did most of the reports… but I didn’t know if you wanted to fill out yours… because of who you were fighting.” he slowly stated, as if he were walking on eggshells. You could tell that he was holding back from hitting the main issue.

Was this something you were ready to unbiasedly talk about? Kirishima knew most of the details, but he also realized that you probably wanted to talk about it more now that you’ve not only seen them after all this time but had to fight them.

With another sigh, you let your head fall into your palms- your elbows digging into your thighs- and you roughly rub your eyes before coming up for a new breath of air.

“My heart was pounding…” you started, attempting to prepare for the unwanted wave of grief, but as you trailed off, oddly enough, it never came.

When reflecting on the fight, you remembered the range of emotions you felt, but now… you just felt… empty- which was ironic. No sadness, longing, anxiety… if anything, with your caring redhead staring at you with the roundest eyes, you felt at ease.

“But honestly? I don’t really feel much right now. Like I can say that when looking back, I think I handled myself in the best way possible- they don’t deserve to have that satisfaction of creating a rise out of me, and quite frankly… I’m tired, Ei. I’m so tired of letting them have that hold on me. I don’t deserve that kind of pain. As much as I am a hero, I need to think about myself as a person and there’s only so much I can endure. My mental and emotional health comes first.”

After saying all of that, there was a slight hint of relief that flooded your system; you already began to feel lighter.

“I’m so proud of you. I know that must have been really hard to face but you did it, and you were so good about it,” he whispered as he reached out for your thigh.

Accepting his comfort, you sucked in another breath and smiled up at him. He held and returned your smile for a couple of seconds before slightly leaning in, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Would it be alright if I.. kiss you?” it was such a heart-warming gesture, how he was making sure you weren’t pushing yourself.

“More than alright,” you whisper, barely getting out the last word because of how quickly the gap between you two closed. The kiss was comfort in the rawest form; his pace was slow, his large hand cupping your jaw as his tongue invaded your mouth. You were following his pace, your eyes coming to a close, melting into a relaxed state for what seemed like the first time today.

Keeping the kiss light, he pulled away shortly, but not before placing a lingering peck on your lips, then one on your forehead and whispering, “I made you a snack. You’re probably hungry right now so I prepared you a little something filling. And while you eat, I’m gonna run a bath with some Epsom salt and lavender oil, does that sound good?”

Overwhelming gratitude washed over you. Words couldn’t possibly measure even the bare minimum of the love you have for Kirishima Eijirou, and yet you managed to string a soft, “You are the most wonderful person in the world, and I… Eijirou I love you so much.”

His eyes became a little teary as he looked down at you, a wobbly smile in place before whispering a returning “I love you,” before heading into the bathroom to run the water in your massive tub.

As the thundering sound of the water filling the tub echo through your apartment, you get up and rummage the fridge to find a plate of adorably cut red apples with a glob of peanut butter off to the side.

“Baby do you want tea?” You call out just loud enough, “I’m gonna brew that green tea with the toasted rice!”

He came into the kitchen looking big and confused, “what did you say, baby?”

“Green tea?”

“Oh yes, please,” he said, leaning in and planting a kiss to your temple before turning back to the bathroom.

“Kiri? Can you put on the house shows on the tv? I forgot what channel they were on.”

You didn’t need to turn around to hear tv turn on; a shout of thanks was called out before you took a bite of your snack.

It felt all very domestic, something you never thought could happen to you. Your childhood was a montage of quirk abuse, being emotionally used, following the same types of toxic people, and never learning your lesson. It all flipped somewhere in your twenties- you began to realize the pattern after being shown the kindness the world could offer. No longer world you put up with bullshit like that. You knew better now and Eijirou always reminded you of that.

You were halfway through one of your favorite flipping shows when Kirishima came in shirtless, letting you know the bath was ready, “Okay my love, it’s ready. Take your time, I‘ll be in the tub.”

You stripped on your way to the bathroom, leaving all your clothes on the bench in the bedroom before padding into the warm-tiled bathroom.

The view you stepped in on was delicious; your huge boyfriend taking up most of the tub, his head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed.

“Gee red, you’re so sexy.” you aimed to tease, but your words came out a bit strained. He chuckles before turning to face you and groaning your name, “hurry up and come in here.”

And it’s then when you’re submerged in all the heat and laying against your boyfriend’s warmth, do you remember that life is what you make it to be. Never accept anything less than the love and care you deserve.

Blink.

#she dreams !#mha kirishima #kirishima eijirou #bnha eijiro kirishima #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima fluff #kirishima eijiro fluff #kirishima x you #bnha kirishima #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha fluff #bnha fluff #hurt/comfort

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i-have-a-wonky-eye-too · 3 years

Text

Devil in disguise... Part 4/?

Lee Bodecker x reader

<Part 3<

Warnings: swearing, mentions of masterbation (m)

Your grandpa wasn't a vilant man. He never laid a hand on your grandmother or your mother. Your grandpa vowed to protect you, his little grand baby, until the day he dies. So when Lee told him about what happened at the diner with Bobby-Ray, your grandpa wanted to beat the little punk black and blue. Thankfully Lee was able to convince him not to do anything that might land himself in jail.

"Just a second!" You called out to whoever was knocking on the front door and pulled the freshly baked cookies out of the oven. "Coming!" You called out as they knocked again.

You quickly walked to the front door, wiping your hands on your apron before pulling the door open.

"Oh, Sheriff, I wasn't expecting to see you this morning?" You smiled sweetly at him.

Lee smiled back, "Just wanted to check in, after yesterday."

You nodded. "Oh, okay... Would you like to come in? I just made some cookies."

Lee's smile grew. "That would be mighty kind of you, Sugar."

You stepped aside and let the Sheriff in. "Grandpa isn't here, I'm afraid. He's at church. So you're stuck with just me." You joked.

"You know that don't bother me, Sugar." He winked at you with a smile making you blush.

"Coffee?"

"Thank you," Lee nodded and popped his hat on the chair beside him as he sat at the kitchen table.

Lee watched in silence as you moved around the kitchen, smiling to himself as he caught the faint humming coming from your mouth. You were the perfect vision of what he thought his wife would look one day. And he was fool.

"How ya' feelin'?" Lee asked looking up after you placed his coffee in front of him.

You hummed, and turned back to face the counter. "Grateful for you." You smiled over your shoulder at him, catching the light blush as he looked down.

Lee cleared his throat, "How are you though, Y/N?"

"... A little shaken, I guess, hence why I ain't at church. Plus, I knew Bobby-Ray and his mother would be there so," You shook your head and focused on the cookies.

It was a new recipe that you tried so you were excited for someone to try them.

"Would you like to try a cookie? It's a new recipe." You smiled at the Sheriff as you placed the plate of cookies before him.

Lee licked his lips, "You know I can't say no to your cookies." He smirked as he picked one and looked up at you. "What's new about them?" He asked.

"Chocolate." You smiled and sat down beside him.

Lee frowned in confusion. "I've tried your chocolate chip cookies before, Sugar."

You shook your head with a grin, "Just try, and you'll see."

"You ain't poisoning me, are ya?" He joked making you roll your eyes playfully at him. He chuckled before he lifted the cookie to his mouth and took a decent bite out of it. "... Hmm-mm." Lee groaned from deep in his chest.

You squeezed your thighs together at the sound of pleasure the Sheriff made. That was unexpected.

"Damn, Sugar," Lee stared at the melted chocolate in the middle of his cookie. "These might be the best I've ever tasted."

You cleared your throat and stood up, turning back to the counter. "Oh, I'm glad." You gulped, trying to calm your nerves.

Lee licked his lips as he watched you, smiling to himself. "What ya' got planned for the rest of the day?"

"Nothin'. I got all my chores done this mornin', bein' up before the sun." You sighed. "Grandpa'll be out all day, drinkin' I reckon. So, might have an early night, maybe pamper myself with a long soak in the tub." You giggled and turned back to face Lee.

Lee stared into nothing, thinking about what you'd just said. "... Sounds, interesting." He cleared his throat and picked up another cookie.

"Are you working patrols all day? I could pack you some cookies up. Or maybe some lunch. A thank you for last night." You smiled and went over to the refrigerator. You bent over, almost directly in front of Lee as you looked inside.

"Dear... Lord," Lee said under his breath before he cleared his throat. "Uh, no, I'm in the station today." He sighed, "There's quite a bit of paperwork to catch up on that I ain't looking forward to." He looked up just as you turned to face him with things to make a sandwich. "Plus, the damn receptionist ain't in either so, I've got extra stress with that." He huffed.

"You know I'm always free to help out if you need it, Sheriff." You smiled at him before going over to the counter to make him a sandwich.

Lee thought to himself for a minute. The thought of spending all day with you was worrying. He wasn't sure he'd be able to focus, but it would be a big help to have you there. "If you don't mind, Sugar."

You turned around to face him with an excited look in your eyes. "Really? Wouldn't I get in the way?"

"Nah," Lee smiled, "You'll be doing me a favour and keeping me company."

You nodded. "Okay. Sure. That sounds fun."

"Okay." Lee quickly stood up, grabbing his hat from the chair beside him. "You make up two sandwiches, and I'll make sure the cruiser is clean for your pretty dress."

Your brow pinched together as you looked down to your dress in confusion.

"It was last night. What could have gotten it so dirty since then?" You joked.

Lee shook his head. "Nothing... I swear. I just... would, hate for you to get some, dirt or anything, on-" He didn't finish his sentence before running out of the house. He had to get rid of that damn Pepsi cup before you got in.

It wasn't his fault, if anything it was yours. You looked so pretty last night, then you needed to be saved and looked after by him. Plus, you cried and tucked yourself close to him, under his arm as he drove you home. He was fucking hard after he dropped you off. He had to do something to get rid of it, and the cup was just sitting there as he thought about you. Your scent still lingering in the air.

"Fuck," Lee grunted feeling his dick twitching in his pants as he thought back.

Lee had to sit in the driver's seat with his hands on the steering wheel, his knuckles going white as he closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing even and his dick soft.

"All clean, Sheriff?" You asked with a cheerful smile as you approached the cruiser.

Lee gulped, nodding his head as he got out of the cruiser. "All clean." He forced a smile as he walked around to the passengers side and opened the door for you. "You bring any cookies?" He asked in a playful tone, making you giggle.

"Of course I did, Sheriff."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lee had every intention on setting you up at the desk in reception when the two of you arrived at the station, but then the dumb young deputies opened their mouths and made some sexual comment about you in front of him, so he steered you towards his office instead, sending the deputies a glare over his shoulder. His desk was big enough to share. It just meant he definitely wouldn't be able to focus on anything today.

"I've finished with these, Sheriff. Is there somewhere they need to go?" You asked as you held up the last envelope you'd just finished writing an address on.

Lee nodded, "There's a box out front, they'll get posted tonight."

"Okay," You smiled and pushed your chair back. "I'll got do that so they don't get lost."

"Thank you, Sugar." Lee smiled softly at you before you opened the door.

He let out a heavy sigh and sat back in his chair finally able to breath as you left his office. He'd been reading the same sentence for the last half hour after you had bent down to pick something up off the floor that he had dropped. He saw right down the top of your dress, instantly making him hard and pull himself further under his desk so you didn't see.

"So, you the Sheriff's new personal secretary, darlin'?" He heard one of his deputies ask through the open door.

Lee listened carefully with a frown. He heard you sigh before you answered. "I'm just lending a hand, that's all."

"I bet. Left or right?" Another asked, cracking up along with the other deputy.

Lee quickly stood up and pushed his chair back. He marched over to the door and opened it so it didn't make a noise, wanting to scare the deputies when he yelled at them for slacking off.

"Sometimes, I don't even use my hands." You answered back.

When Lee stepped out he saw the two deputies were speechless as you said goodbye and headed back to Lee's office.

He smirked down at you as you slipped passed him before he turned his attention back to his deputies. "Back to work!" He ordered before slamming his office door shut. "Everythin' okay, Sugar?"

You nodded, "Yes, Sheriff." You grinned. "Everythin' is good."

"Good." Lee nodded, looking away from you. "Hmm, if you could do these for me, Sugar, that would be great." He smiled, lifting up a stack of papers off his desk.

You nodded, quickly skipping over to him. "Of course, Sheriff." You smiled sweetly at him and took them from him, your fingers lightly grazing his, making you blush slightly.

It took everything in you not to look up and stare at him, to admire his handsome face as the room fell silent. Being so close to Lee for so long was nerve wrecking. He always smelt so good, and his smile always made your heart skip and when he smirked, your knees almost buckled. And when he spoke, it sent shivers down your spine. Sometimes it was smooth and soft, other times it was rough and deep. And when he yelled (not that it was often around you), but when he did, it made you dizzy with excitement.

The hours quickly ticked by and before you knew it, Lee had pulled up outside your home. The lights were on and your grandpa's old truck was parked in its usual spot indicating he had gotten home just fine.

"Thank you for today, Sheriff." You smiled at him.

Lee chuckled, "It should be me thankin' you, Sugar. You really helped me out." He spoke softly with a smile.

You blushed looking down to your lap. "It was nothin'." You shrugged it off.

Lee shook his head. "No, it was. You didn't need to help out like you did." He smiled, running his knuckles across your cheek. "But you did, because your sweet, and kind."

You blushed with a small smile. "... Oh, well, thank you." You let out a nervous giggle. "I best get inside. Grandpa'll be getting' worried if I'm out any longer." You smiled bashfully.

Lee nodded. "Okay then, Sugar, you go on in."

"Good night, Sheriff." You pushed yourself closer to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Your eyes widened a little when you realised what you'd done. You pulled back and met his stunned gaze. "I, hmm-"

The radio crackling to life interrupted the moment and gave you chance to bid Lee goodbye again before quickly sliding out of the cruiser.

What had you done? Why would you go and do something stupid like that? He probably thought you were just some stupid kid with a silly little crush on him. You had no doubt he was probably used to young girls fawning over him, and falling in love with him. But that didn't mean you hadn't just made a fool of yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @stucky-my-ship @acciosiriusblack

#lee bodecker x you #sheriff lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #Lee Bodecker x reader series #Lee Bodecker #lee bodecker x y/n #devil in disguise #devil all the time #Sheriff Lee Bodecker x reader #lee bodecker slow burn

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darkqueenofshadows85 · 2 years

Text

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) Story Review

Disclaimer: I will be judging this game by the plot and writing, not the gameplay.

Introduction

Greetings, mortals! For today's review, we'll be looking at one of my all-time favorite Sonic game stories, Shadow the Hedgehog.

This game marks the beginning of what is commonly referred to as the Dark Era, which I believe got its name due to the darker storylines and grim atmosphere.

This is part of a series of reviews in which I’ll be going into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the main series Sonic game storylines, and why I think they're either well written and engaging, or an absolute trainwreck (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on the character portrayals, visuals, soundtracks, voice actors, and what themes/messages they had to offer. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions!

Anyway, let us begin! ^^

Plot

Shadow with amnesia gets visions of Maria, he wonders who she is. Suddenly, Black Doom and his Black Arms army arrive. Black Doom asks Shadow to collect the seven Chaos Emeralds as promised. Shadow decides that Black Doom is the key to his past so he joins in. The player then chooses what Shadow does next: joining Black Doom and the Black Arms, joining Sonic and friends, or going alone.

Characters

Like in the previous games, Shadow is portrayed quite well here. They got the edginess just right, to the point where it isn't overwhelming and stupid like in the Meta Era. I like how he gradually regains his memories and rediscovers himself. I honestly never understood why some people blame ShTH for how Shadow was portrayed in the Meta Era, saying that this game is what ruined the character. I disagree. Shadow has amnesia in this game, so he has a narrative reason to be different, and when his amnesia goes away, he becomes the Shadow that we know from the 2000's. The Meta Era games have no narrative reason for Shadow being what it is.

Sonic and the other characters didn't really contribute much to the plot, and they were just kinda there for the most part. However, the Chaotix did make a significant contribution to the plot during the climax.

I love Black Doom because he is the most complex villain in the entire Sonic franchise. Sure, he did seem power hungry, but in a way it seems more he desired to obtain power in order to keep his people thriving. Like, it's very clear that he cares a lot about his people, and sometimes he does get a little bit selfish in his desires, but who doesn't? He's still a villain, but a villain with understandable and even somewhat sympathetic motivations for what he does. That's why I not only consider him to be my favorite Sonic villain, but also one of my favorite Sonic characters, period.

As for Dr. Eggman, he tried to convince Shadow that he was an android in the Neutral route, the Eggman Empire went to war with both the United Federation/GUN and the Black Arms, and he did later confirm that Shadow was in fact the original Shadow who we saw in SA2, so that's at least something.

The GUN Commander's backstory makes no sense. He was friends with Maria aboard the ARK and then he saw her get killed by a GUN soldier, so now he works for GUN, the same organization that killed his childhood friend. What the hell? Also, why did the GUN Commander blame Shadow for Maria's death? That never made sense to me either.

Visuals

To summarize, the CGI cutscenes look fantastic, and the in-game character models, while dated, do look really good for their time. In fact, I'm actually quite partial to the Heroes/ShTH character models myself. I think they look adorable ^w^

Soundtrack

This game's soundtrack is my absolute favorite out of all of the Sonic soundtracks. I love all of the vocal tracks to be honest, but my personal favorite is the main theme, I Am... (All of Me).

🎶“I See No Hear No Evil!!!!!”🎶

Voice Acting

ShTH was the first Sonic game to introduce the 4Kids voice cast, and honestly, I consider them to be the best Sonic voice cast. Jason Griffith is the perfect voice for Shadow in my opinion. He perfectly captures Shadow's dark, mysterious personality. I absolutely ADORE Sean Schemmel's voice work as Black Doom. His voice is so soft and dark... >w<

Some of the other voices I liked include Jason Griffith (Sonic), Mike Pollock (Dr. Eggman), Dan Green (Knuckles), Lisa Ortiz (Amy), Jeff Kramer (E-123 Omega), James Carter Cathcart (Vector), Amy Birnbaum (Charmy), David Wills (Espio), Rebecca Honig (Maria), among others.

Theme/Message

The central theme of the story is search for identity. Shadow's goal in this game is trying to find out who he was in the past and what his purpose in life is, because he has amnesia (continuing the narrative from where Heroes left off) and nobody wants to tell him about his past for some reason.

Conclusion

I fucking LOVE this game's story. Despite having divided opinions on it within the fandom, Shadow's solo game as a whole is not as bad as some people say it is. Quite the opposite, in fact. Sure, it does have its flaws, and there are some things in the narrative that don't make sense (the GUN Commander's motivations and backstory in particular comes to mind), but for me, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I love the story, I love the soundtrack, and most of all, I love Black Doom, he's the best part of ShTH, and the best part of the franchise >w<

💜💜💜💜💜💜

My final score:

5.8/5 (Amazing)

#sonic the hedgehog #shth game #black arms #black doom #review #blog post #opinion post

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nightfrostshadow · 3 years

Text

Tricked

Prompt by @nuttynutcycle

"I'm actually surprised what a good team we make. Supervillain didn't even see us coming." The hero said, thrusting Supervillain's detonator in the villain's direction. "Mind holding this?" He fumbled to get his jacket on.

The villain nodded absentmindedly, reaching out to grab the device. A hand slammed on top of hers and forced the button down. The resounding boom shook the ground and drowned out the following screams. Her mouth gaped. "What did you DO?"

He grinned back. "No, what did YOU do?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Villain threw the detonator away with trembling hands as she stumbled back. As far as she could get from the hero. She was shocked but realised she needed to get out of there immediately. She could not afford to worry about anything else. She turned around and took off at top speed but suddenly she felt a sharp sting in her neck. She gasped as she realized what happened.

She ran faster as she pulled it out struggling to get as far away as possible before it took effect. Sadly, she was slowing down as slowly couldn’t feel her legs anymore. She stumbled and fell to the ground. She stared with anger as Hero approached her. Slowly, leisurely for she was going nowhere. She glared at him. Oh if only looks could kill. This would have never happened but unfortunately, he had caught her off guard.

By now Hero had come close enough so she could see his face. His expression was completely different now. He had a smug look as he brandished the dart gun in front of her. He laughed, “Didn’t expect this did you? It took me quite some time to figure out a way to trick you. You never trust people easily yet you finally did and look where that got you.”

Hero smirked and at that moment he was not looking very heroic to Villain. He was looking like a villain. One far worse than any she had encountered.

Hero smiled a sinister smile, “Well, I’ve got to take you in for setting off that detonator now. You’ll pay for your crimes.”

That was the last thing Villain heard and saw before her limbs went completely limp and her vision faded and she was out.

When she awoke she was in a completely different place. She was sitting in a cold metal chair and had been chained to it by the ankle. She vaguely wondered why they thought they could keep her there only with a single chain when she felt something. The lack of her powers and strength. She glanced down and saw a thin bracelet encircling her wrist. It felt like lead on her wrist.

Its appearance was deceptive. It was made of an almost unbreakable metal and also drained her powers and strength thus making it impossible to break unless removed with its specific key. She looked around. She was in a cold bare room. She sighed. At least it was clean. She could plan her escape here.

A moment later the door opened and Hero entered along with Superhero and some other people from their little organization. Villain stared coldly at Hero taking note of how his expression was so different now. He looked like a hero who had just captured a villain and saved the world. Not an ounce of the malice and spite in his eyes that she had seen before.

Superhero pulled out another chair that was present in the room and sat on it right in front of her. She reclined as best as she could on the chair she was seated on. She could make it her throne temporarily. She spoke with a wry smile, “What brings you here? Most importantly why am I here?”

Superhero stared at her. “Do you not know what you did? Luckily Hero was able to capture you so you could answer for your crimes. It was a pity he was too late to stop you but at least we can stop you from committing crimes for the rest of your life.”

Superhero’s expression turned to one of anger and disbelief, “How could you? Do you know the amount of people that died just because you pressed the button?”

Villain smiled sadly. “It wasn’t me; you’ve got the wrong person. It was Hero-”

Superhero stood up in anger. “Oh really? Are you going to tell me that Hero forced you to press your hand on the button so that we could clearly see that it was your fingerprints on the button and yours only.”

Villain looked up at Hero who was silently standing behind Superhero and from his expression he was enjoying this. His eyes held silent mirth. No doubt his mocking expression was saying- and she could almost hear it loud and clear- They’ll never believe you. After all, I’m the hero and you’re just a villain.

She silently seethed with anger. This hateful man was walking around scot-free after causing such havoc. After causing her to get charged with a crime she never even committed. She silently berated herself. She should have known Supervillain must have had a trick up his sleeve. She never would have imagined Hero was one of his men.

She had to admit. It was a pretty good plan but they were ever so going to regret it the moment she got out of here.

Superhero was still speaking - some long list of charges it seemed. She heard the last line- “You’ll be punished by being imprisoned here for the rest of your miserable life.”

Villain’s jaw dropped. No, that wouldn’t do at all. She had to do something. How could her plan work if she was stuck here?

By the time she realised she should try to make Superhero believe her she looked up and noticed he had already stormed out of her cell. Probably too disgusted by the crimes she had apparently committed. She wondered what Hero had added and exaggerated to her normal list of crimes.

She was deep in thought when she saw Hero had stayed behind, even after they all had left. He walked over to her and leaned towards her. He whispered into her ears. “You didn’t think I would let you go out again and give you the chance to do something against me, did you? Oh no! You’re too dangerous to be left free.”

With that he grinned at her and left, closing the door with a final click.

Villain stared around the room with a growing level of dread. She hated being trapped. She got up and tried to see if there was a way to get out. She quickly realised the chair was fixed to the floor at the centre of the room and the chain around her ankles didn’t let her go far enough to reach the door.

She sighed. She was angry, tired and frustrated. It would do no good attempting anything now so she decided to just sleep and hoped the next day would bring some new hope and ideas.

The next day she woke to the sound of the door opening. A different person entered. She hadn’t seen him before. He walked over and quickly handed her a package. She didn’t need to open it to know what it was. It was food. However, it surprisingly smelled extremely good. The person, now that she looked closely, he was quite young. Probably around eighteen years old. Well, that made him younger than her.

The person- no, the boy chuckled. “Don’t worry we provide good food here. It is a prison run by heroes after all. No matter how bad you are. We won’t provide you with terrible food while you’re imprisoned.”

He suddenly winked, “Though it would be a different story if Hero was in charge here.”

Villain suddenly looked up. Had her ears deceived her?

The boy grinned as he sensed her unvoiced question. “Yes I know about Hero’s true nature. I’m fairly new here so I didn’t blindly trust him and one day when I was least expecting it I witnessed it myself. Luckily, he didn’t know I was there too. It’s a pity that he has everybody else fooled.”

He looked up at her with pleading eyes. “I also know you’re the only one capable enough to defeat him.”

Villain laughed bitterly. “That wouldn’t do any good now that I’m stuck in here and believe me I’ve tried to think of a way to get out of here but I have… failed.”

Villain put her head in her hands as she fully acknowledged the despair she had been feeling since she had been locked up here.

The boy looked worried as he saw her expression bleak and utterly defeated. He silently opened the packet and handed her the sandwich and spoke while she ate. “Don’t worry. Since you are a high security prisoner, they won’t let you out often but they will let you out once a month if you are good for the entire month. No causing havoc or disturbances here.”

Villain scoffed. “Just stay put here like a willing prisoner and accept that I have to live the rest of my life here?”

The boy’s eyes twinkled. “Of course not. You shall be planning your revenge. How to take down Hero and Supervillain once you successfully get out of here.”

Villain looked up; her eyes dull. This was too good to be true. She didn’t believe a word of it.

The boy realised she needed more convincing and continued, “When you’ll be taken out for your walk after a month, you’ll have two guards next to you and you’ll be chained at the waist with them holding one of each of the two sides and of course with the power dampening bracelet.”

He now started smiling, “However, I will be the one in charge of restraining you properly before you’ll be going out of here so it is very easy for me to make sure you can slip the chains off easily and unlock the power dampener for you so you can make it fall of with just a click when it’s the appropriate time.”

Villain looked up and for the first time since she had been brought here, she felt hope spark inside of her. She also felt better after eating the sandwich.

She took the boys hand and firmly shook it. “Deal.”

For some reason she believed him. She could sense he was being genuine.

He smiled as he hastily made his way to the door, “I’ve already spent more time than I should have in here. I’ll be seeing you soon.”

A month had passed. Villain had been quiet and well behaved. Only on the outside. In her head she had already formulated a fool proof plan. She smiled darkly. Supervillain and Hero were going to pay. They were going to wish they had never messed with her.

She looked up to the familiar sight of the boy coming in through the door to give her her daily supply of food.

Today he entered with chains dragging behind him.

She looked up with a smile. It was finally here. The day she had been eagerly waiting for. The day she would escape.

While she had been silently planning, the boy had also made preparations and had managed to get his hand on the key that unlocked the power dampener bracelet without any suspicion.

He quickly walked over to her and released her ankle that had been chained for so long. He also made short work of attaching the chain to her waist, showed her exactly where she had to pull so the whole thing fell off easily and unlocked her power dampener.

He leaned in and said in a hurried whisper. “Something unexpected happened. Hero will also be accompanying you for the walk.”

Villain smiled as she felt her powers flood through her body. She felt alive once more. Her strength returned and it felt glorious.

She looked over at the boy and thanked him with a smile. “Don’t worry about that, I can take him down easily now. I won’t be caught off guard like last time. He isn’t a match for me at all.” She smiled reassuringly at him.

She also made up her mind to return the favour to him someday. She was not one to be ungrateful.

By now, the guards had come inside to lead her out. She smirked. Hero was going to regret his decision very soon. He had come to her and given her this opportunity. He only had himself to blame for deciding to show up today.

She smiled as her eyes flashed dangerously. This was going to be oh so much fun.

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anxious2dsimp · 3 years

Text

Everything He's Not | Iwaizumi x GN! Reader | Short Fic

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Flavour: Angst (Reader x Cheater!Oikawa) to Fluff (Reader x Iwaizumi)💔→☁️

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Short Fic (alternating between two sides of the story, y/n and Iwa's)

Part: 1 out of 2 (read part 2 here)

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Y/N, has dated the very popular Oikawa Toru for a while, through him becoming friends with his group. However, little do they know about a certain stoic ace's feelings for his best friend's s/o. When Oikawa screws up big time, will Iwaizumi's true feelings finally show? And what will Y/N do when everything goes down?

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, breakups, basically Oikawa x Reader angst turned into Iwaizumi x Reader fluff.

A/N: I wrote this for myself a while back but I edited it into a gender-neutral reader insert on a sleep-deprived whim (sorry if there are any mistakes, feel free to let me know!) Ik it's very random, but hopefully someone likes it :)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Your POV

Dating Oikawa Toru was definitely different from what you expected; at first you were weary about the volleyball star, but after giving him a chance you started to see the real him. Yes, he was the captain of a powerhouse’s Volleyball team and had a ton of fangirls, but really he was just a regular guy with dorky interests and an alien obsession, which was the side of him you fell for. It wasn’t all great, dealing with his fangirls was rough; luckily you were safe being from another school, but they’d take any chance they had to try and gain Oikawa’s interest, flirting with him as he did the same back, not with bad intentions, it was just his personality. It did slightly annoy you, but you knew he was clear that we were together and wouldn’t take things further, he was just keeping up his image, and he promised you that was all.

Since your Karasuno friends didn’t particularly like your relationship with the setter (though they did respect it), you two hung out with his Aoba Johsai friends; that’s how your friendship with Iwa, Makki, and Mattsun started. You all became good friends, so they all helped you keep Oikawa in line while at school (especially Iwaizumi). Since you got along so well your friendship became its own thing besides Oikawa, and before you realized it, you and Iwa were such good friends that you chatted almost daily on the phone.

You don’t know what exactly made you bond so much, maybe you were similar in the sense that you were both used to being lowkey, keeping things together behind the scenes; regardless, you both enjoyed each other’s company. That Tuesday afternoon was one of those days, Oikawa had something to do at school, so Iwaizumi invited you, Makki, and Mattsun over to his place to wait for the captain like you usually did since it was the closest to the school.

So, you just chilled like always, laughing and playing video games, talking about whatever came to mind. While you were in the middle of a Mario Kart match, you heard the front door of the apartment open, “(y/n)-chan! I’m sorry for the delay~” the brunette said in a sing-song voice.

“Hi to you too, Oikawa,” said Makki, poking fun at him, to which he just rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch. “Aren’t you gonna give me a kiss?” Oikawa asked standing in front of the screen, causing all four of you to start yelling at him to get out of the way, making him pout. “One sec, Toru-chan,” you said, biting your lip while focusing on keeping your first place intact for the last lap. The setter just giggled and got out of the way, walking around the sofa to stand behind you.

Iwaizumi’s POV

‘Eyes on the screen Iwaizumi,’ the ace told himself as he tried to focus on the game, attempting to ignore the way Oikawa kissed (y/n)’s neck while they played, trying to get their attention but failing miserably other than a giggle here and there. Iwa could tell by the way their (e/c) colored eyes pierced the screen that they wanted to win. The boy could see why his best friend liked them, unlike most people (y/n) actually treated Oikawa like a normal person, which definitely got him going. It wasn’t just that though, you all became such good friends because they’re smart, funny and beyond kind; but that’s all you were, friends. So why did it make him moody to see them be all couple-y?

After all, they were together while he was just the friend, the one who kept the fangirls off Oikawa so (y/n) didn’t have to worry because he couldn’t do it himself. Even though Toru was Iwaizumi’s best friend since they were kids, he couldn’t help but think that his friend wasn’t the greatest boyfriend. However, that was the same reason why he couldn’t say anything either, after all, they made him happy and vice versa, so he just kept telling himself to keep his damn eyes on the screen.

Luckily for him, the game was soon over so you all ordered takeout and sat around talking. “Yo, (y/n), there’s this new scary movie on Netflix, we should watch it this Friday night,” Mattsun stated, stealing one of Maki’s fries and throwing it in his mouth. “That sounds fun, but I can’t Friday! Karasuno has a friendly match against a few Tokyo schools this weekend so we leave Thursday after school,” (y/n) explained with a sweet smile, Iwaizumi’s eyes casually wondering over to Oikawa to see him looking upset.

‘Ugh, here goes,’ the spiker thought to himself. Lately, Toru had been restless and uncomfortable because according to him, his s/o was slipping away from him. Oikawa had somehow managed to convince himself that Karasuno had made it their mission to get their manager (y/n) to stop liking him and had been getting increasingly dramatic and jealous lately for no reason.

“But I thought we were going to hang out this weekend,” Oikawa whined as he pouted at his significant other, trying to seem jokingly disappointed though his best friend could tell he actually was upset. “Babe, we literally talk every day and we hung out all this past weekend, and today,” (y/n) said taking his hand.

“Plus, you have friends too, Shittykawa,” Hajime said, trying to get his friend’s mind out of that dark place since he knew he was more prone to make stupid comments when it was there. Oikawa didn’t drop it, insisting on how they were talking less as (y/n) continued to explain that school had been busy and how he also had responsibilities that took up his time. They eventually got him to shut up, but Iwaizumi couldn’t shake the concern that he was being too stupid, and it felt like he was getting closer and closer to making a mistake.

Your POV

You had to admit you did feel guilty when you told Toru you were leaving for the weekend, it was true that you had been way too busy with school and that neither of you had much free time, but you knew that your feelings for him were still strong. So, that Thursday after school you were happy and excited to hear that the trip had been postponed and you’d actually travel on Saturday morning because Sensei had a very important meeting on Friday afternoon. With the change of plans, you decided to go surprise your boyfriend, and it already being late in the afternoon, by the time you got to his place he would be home.

As you got off the bus by his place and got closer to his house, the sun beginning to set, a couple by a small park caught your eye, causing a soft smile to appear on your face. That park was always where you two would hang out when you wanted to be just the two of you. Walking closer, however, the smile quickly disappeared as you realized the “couple” was none other than Oikawa himself with one of his persistent fans he told you not to worry about. ‘Maybe they’re just hanging out as friends,’ or at least that’s what you told yourself as you squinted and kept walking.

Picking up your pace you got closer, now being able to see their faces more clearly in the dimly lit park only to watch them kiss, the girl’s arms around his neck while Oikawa’s hand slid up her thigh. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stood there in shock as silent tears began to fall down your face. Almost as if you were in a trance, you reached into your pocket and took out your phone, dialing his number as you saw the brunette react.

He looked down surprised at his phone screen as he scooted apart from the girl and picked up the call as if it was nothing. “Hey beaut-” he started to say before you cut him off, not having the strength to hear his happy tone. “How could you?!” you sobbed angrily into the phone as his face became anxious. “What’s wrong babe?” How could he try to play it off as if he had no idea?

“You lying, cheating, son of a bitch! We’re over,” you yelled angrily, hanging up right as his eyes met yours. You were close enough to see the horrified and heartbroken expression on his face, but before he could say anything you turned around and just ran. Grabbing the straps of your backpack you sprinted back down the streets, your vision blurry with tears as your (h/c) hair was pushed back by the wind. It was only when you were back at the bus station and were sure that Oikawa was nowhere to be seen that you stopped and realized; you didn’t know where to go next.

You could go to your Karasuno friends, but you weren’t in the mood to hear “I told you so” and couldn’t go home to not worry your family. As you sat there and looked at the screen blankly, tears continuing to fill your eyes, a notification appeared. ‘Hey loser, how’s the trip going?’ you read as your eyes looked at Iwa’s name by the message. He was your best shot, you were close and he wouldn’t judge, so without opening your phone again and ignoring all of Oikawa’s calls you jogged over to Iwaizumi’s place.

After ringing the apartment and hiding your teary and now out of breath voice in the intercom, Iwa’s mom buzzed you in, and once you got to his floor you were greeted by Iwaizumi looking concerned, more so once he saw the state you were in. “(y/n), are you ok?” Iwaizumi asked as he walked over to you, hugging you as you hid in his arms and sobbed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. It’s Oikawa,” you explained as he nodded and got you inside. He made some tea and brought it with you two to his room, both of you sitting on his bed. “Ok, what did Shittykawa do now?” he asked as he looked up at you and handed over a warm mug. “D- did you know h-he was cheating on me?” you managed to stutter out between sobs, trying to sound collected but being embarrassed by your inability to do so.

“He- wHAT?!” His reaction startled you, and when you looked up from the cup and saw his horrified, furious expression it made you feel less like you were overreacting. “I- the trip got postponed to Saturday morning, so I went to surprise him to his place and saw him in our bench making out with one of his fangirls,” you explained, watching as Iwa’s face became angrier and angrier, realizing how you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, “I’m sorry I came to you, I know you’re best friends.”

Iwaizumi’s POV

Seeing them like this was already painful, but learning what Oikawa did was too much, Iwaizumi couldn’t believe how his friend could do this to (y/n). The spiker had never cared when he did stuff like this or worse than this to his fangirls. After all, he thought, they were the ones stupid enough to be blinded by his charm, but he never fathomed Oikawa would be able to do something like that to someone as great as you. “What? Hey, don’t even dare apologize,” he stated firmly as he took both mugs and set them by the bedside table, hugging (y/n) tightly and feeling them snuggle into him as they cried. Seeing them like this killed him. ‘Fuck Oikawa,’ he thought to himself, ‘if before I had stayed out of the way because they were good for each other that’s no longer the case.’

“I’m so sorry he did this to you; I should have stopped him. If I had known I would have, I should have been paying more attention,” the ace rambled into (y/n)’s hair as they cried softly, getting angry at himself before being interrupted by them pushing themselves away from him gently to look up at his face. “Why are you apologizing as if this was your fault? Iwa, he’s the one who’s an asshole, not you,” they stated, wiping a tear from their face.

“Because,” was he really going to say this? Screw it, here goes nothing, he told himself before continuing, “I knew you deserved better than him, but I convinced myself he would be different with you because I saw how good you were to him, and how happy you looked.” (y/n) just looked at him, mouth slightly ajar as they seemed to process what the boy had said. He couldn’t take the silence anymore so to avoid the blush he felt was beginning to appear on his cheeks he asked; “so did you dump him?” They nodded, looking down at their cup of tea as they chuckled and replied; “on the spot, over the phone.”

Iwaizumi chuckled back, releasing some of the nerves; “serves him right.” They smiled weakly at his comment and absentmindedly ran their fingers through their hair, My god were they gorgeous, Hajime thought to himself, only then realizing it was the first time it was just the two of them in his room, suddenly becoming self-conscious. Calm down, he told himself while taking a deep breath, looking over at (y/n). 'They just broke up with their boyfriend, being here with you is their last concern,' or so he thought. “Do you… want to watch (favorite movie) and eat ice cream?” the spiker suggested after thinking for a moment, he knew that was their favorite movie, and ice cream helps get over jerks, right?

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

#Cassie likes HQ!#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fanfic #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x gender neutral reader #oikawa angst #oikawa toru x reader #iwaizumi hajime fic #iwaizumi fic #iwaizumi x you

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heliotropehotch · 3 years

Text

glorious thorn (shrike pt.2) a.h. x gn!reader

request by @wanniiieeee : hiiii! i love your shrike (aaron hotchner x reader) so much! 🥺 can i request for a part 2 of it with fluffy ending?

a/n: i almost didn't wanna do this request??? im a sucker for fluff but shrike was my favorite piece i've done, like ever, across both blogs (and it was ANGST) but i like this almost as much. i'll be writing my first smut on here soon!

PART ONE

MASTERLIST

author: abby <3

words:

cw: explosion, bombs, injury, anger, confessions, cheesy hozier references

Their phone began to ring as their flashlight glazed over the interior of the empty house. “Y/L/N,” they answered, eyes making contact with Reid.

“Y/L/N,” Hotch’s panicked voice echoed out. “You have to get out of there now. You and Reid both. We’re on our way there now.”

They stopped in their tracks, eyes widening with realization. They repeated the words the unsub had left on the last crime scene. “You can never go home.”

“Y/N,” his voice almost cracked. “Please, get out of there it’s rigged to blow.”

They didn’t bother to end the call before they yelled at Spencer, who was standing by the front door. “Spence! Run, get out!”

Y/N’s body chased after his, a few feet behind him in paces. In the corner of their eye, they saw the familiar shape of the SUV’s. Feet met the driveway as they heard a click, and the rush of heat and air against their back. Spencer fell forward, landing on his knees and elbows in the impact. Y/N’s body was thrown forward, collapsing heavy against the hard ground.

Aaron only heard a rush in his ears as he watched their body fall to the ground unconscious. He felt like he couldn’t move fast enough, like lead weighed down his legs. He was conscious of his mouth moving, barking orders for emergency response teams.

He kneeled by their body, shaking hands checking their pulse, a heavy sigh releasing from his lips. His hands slid to their cheeks, tapping gently in an attempt to wake them.

“Y/N,” He said softly, pleadingly. “Wake up, sweetheart. Come on, wake up.”

They groaned underneath his hands, wincing slightly from the impact. They’re arms reach up to grasp his wrist. “Aaron?”

He sighed, bowing his head in relief, then met their eyes again. He smoothed his thumb gently over their cheek. “You’re okay.”

“Relatively speaking,” they joked, trying to lighten the mood. Hotch hid a smile behind his stern expression. Only they would joke after this.

“Y/N,” his voice strained. Their fingers squeezed comfortingly around his wrists, before moving to sit up, keeping his palms in their place on their face. “I thought you were- before I could-”

“Y/N!” Spencer yelled as he ran towards his childhood best friend. Hotch cleared his throat as he leaned brack from them, removing his hands to help them up. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I should have waited for you to-”

“It’s fine, Spence. I’m just a little bruised.” They continued to look at Hotch, as if expecting him to finish his earlier thought. Instead, his eyes drifted down to his feet.

“Both of you need to get checked out by EMT’s.” He walked away, hands flexing at his sides.

“What was that about?” Reid smiled softly.

“Well I wouldn’t know, genius,” they smacked his chest. “Since you seem to keep cockblocking me somehow.”

Once the team had gotten back to Quantico, Y/N knew there were words left unsaid. Everyone shuffled around their desks, getting whatever paperwork they needed to take home for the evening. Spencer was trying to convince them to meet an old friend of his for drinks.

“I don’t know Spence,” they hesitated, eyes drifting up to their unit chief’s office, making a choice to get the needed answers. “I’ll be right back.”

Hotch wanted to ignore the knock on his door, but it was painfully obvious he existed within the confines of his office walls. His voice was rough as he answered with a “come in.”

“Can we talk for a moment?” Y/N sighed, trying to hold together the courage that kept getting smushed down. “Please?”

“What about?” Hotch barely lifted his vision, focusing on writing some bullshit on the reports.

“Back in Boston, after the explosion,” they responded. “What were you going to say?”

His pen paused on the paper, ink bleeding through the paper as he tried to collect his thoughts. He cleared his throat, hand resuming its movement. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Their arms crossed against their chest, clearly not satisfied with his answer. “Oh, you don’t?”

“No I don’t,” Hotch looked up then, attempting to keep a firm gaze. “Will that be all?”

Their hands and face fell, back straightening once again at the blatant ignorance of their tension. “Yes, sir.”

Aaron winced at the title and watched them walk away.

“Spence!” he heard Y/N call out a good distance away. “Tell this friend of yours to pick me up at 7.”

The pen in Aaron’s smacked under the pressure of his fist.

~~~~~~~

“Spence,” they sighed. “Your friend already canceled.”

“What?” his voice echoed through the speaker of the phone. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N, I thought he would have gone through with it. Maybe they’re still hung up on their ex.”

“Spencer!” they chastised. “You set me up with someone newly broken up?”

“I thought they had gotten over it!”

A knock resided loudly against Y/N’s door. They sighed, shoulders dropping with the weight of the day. In a sour mood already, the last thing they wanted to do was talk to someone they weren’t expecting.

“I gotta go, Spence.” The call ended, jaw clenching in irritation.

They swung the door open, ready to get whatever conversation over with so they could sleep. Yet, the unexpected came in the form of their boss at their door. “Hotch? What’s wrong? Is there a case-”

“Don’t go on the date.”

Y/N paused, confused welling up on their face. “Huh?”

“Your date,” Aaron said firmly, beggingly. “Don’t go on it, please.”

Their arm dropped down to their side, an almost annoyed look crossing their face. “I don’t understand, sir.”

“Don’t call me that,” he wrenched his eyes closed, pained. “Not when that’s what you say to me when you’re ignoring your feelings.”

Now, there was anger. Their brows furrowed with offense. “Excuse me?”

“I didn’t say it before and I should have. I should have said it a long time ago, when I first realized, or- or I should have said it that night in my office. I regret everything about that night. I didn’t say it when you wanted me to, when you needed me to, so I’m saying it now. I care about you, way more than I thought I would, so please- don’t go on that date.”

He thought the anger would have disappeared by now. Instead, they rolled their eyes and crossed their arms.

“Are you messing with me?” It was his turn to look confused, he straightened his back, and took a confused breath, opening his mouth to speak. “I mean, shit Aaron, I’ve been trying to get you to do something for what? Three years now? And after that night, I thought- I thought that was it. That I was wrong about everything, that I was trying for nothing so I stopped. And then Boston happened and all you did was confuse me more. And now you’re here after I’m trying, really I am trying so fucking hard to move on.”

“You were trying to move on?”

“Yes!” they cried. “Because after 3 years of being in love with you, I had finally convinced myself that nothing could ever happen.”

“Well you were wrong,” he chuckled.

“Obviously, Aaron,” they sighed, opening the door wider.

He came closer, their bodies inches away from each other, hands tentatively reaching up to cup their cheeks, murmuring softly, “Y/N.”

“What?” They bit out softly, leaning into the touch, the one they had only experienced for a sliver of time before. He smiled, the sass endearing.

“I’m in love with you, too.” They’re hands came up to rest on his wrists.

“You heard that, huh?” they said softly, cheeks barely tinged pink.

Aaron chuckled, pressing his body slightly against. “Oh yeah.”

His lips felt warm, but refreshing all the same. The feel of his mouth slotted against theirs was something Y/N knew they could never tire of. His rings raked through their hair softly, as he smiled softly into the kiss. Y/N hummed, moving their hands to his neck to pull him closer. His tongue moved softly against theirs, before nibbling softly at their bottom lip.

They both pulled away in an attempt to catch some air. Aaron rested his lips on their forehead.

Y/N smiled, arms tightening around his body. “You mean to tell me we could have been doing that for three years?”

He chuckled, “That doesn’t matter now.”

“Oh,” they laughed, placing a hand over his chest. “It definitely still matters.”

Aaron laughed as he looked down at the thing that had been too far out of his reach for years, yet he knew he belonged to them all the same.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner request #hotch request #criminal minds #spencer reid #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner

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sabitosthirst · 3 years

Text

Forever His- Part 6- Sabito x reader

This follows our reader (who is Giyuu’s younger sister) and Sabito as they get older. It starts off when they’re small kids, and goes from there.

SFW? PG14? What’s the middle ground?

Previously ⬇️

5.5 • 5 • 4.5 • 4 • 3.5 • 3 • 2 • 1

Reader = 18 • Sabito = 23

*@divvinefeminine on weheartit.com*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perspective of (Y/N)

I’ve been visiting Sabito for the past 2 days in the infirmary. Our days are spent talking, playing small card games, laughing, and taking short walks together. No one bothers us, and by the time I leave I feel like I’m flying. Even the air between us is different, he seems so much more relaxed around me and honestly, this is all I could’ve asked for.

His farewell kisses on my hands leave me red and giddy. Not only that, but his silver tongue that always teased me but never had an effect on me now suddenly make me fall over in heat. I’m swarmed with so much butterflies in my stomach that I feel like I could faint. Nothing can bring me down

“Happy birthday, beautiful!”

“Sab! Good morning and thank you!” UHH! My heart! I’ve always wanted to be treated this way by him, and now that it’s happening I feel like his words aren’t real- but they are. He’s holding my hand. Talking about when we were younger while he runs his thumb over my knuckles. Uff, there goes the butterflies in my stomach again!

“So, I know it’s a shame that no one could make it today. But let’s be honest (y/n), I’m all you need.” Smooth as always. His eyes squint at me with his softening smile, threatening me to object his statement.

I scoot in closer to his right side where is remaining ear resides. “Weeellll, it’s to be expected. The life we live isn’t for the faint of heart. And you’re right, at least you’re here. I can bake for us and whoever else is here some sweets and that-“ his left hand reaches around and cups my cheek. His sudden affection holds me in place while his thumb stretches to my bottom lip. Caressing the plump skin and following the movements with his eyes that are so focused on my mouth.

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me treat you. Don’t go around tending to others or me today. Just because Giyuu or the others aren’t here, doesn’t mean they didn’t leave you anything. Those gifts will have to wait though, it’s bad enough I just ruined their surprises. But, I couldn’t let you think nothing is going on for you.”

His fingers move down to my chin, holding it up to face him head on with his thumb still swirling softly on my bottom lip. Damn, even sitting in bed he towers over me. His height, his hands on my mouth, and his lavender eyes are all making me feel warm deep inside. I don’t care about a missing hand, I have 2 good ones for him. I even don’t care about an ear that’s gone either, I can still talk the other off. Nothing can take away this beating heart of mine that yearns for Sabito.

“Can I give you your first gift? If it’s okay with you?”

I nod softly, taking shallow breaths that seem too loud right now. He smiles, releasing my face and leans in. Oh my goodness. My heart is about to beat of my chest. His image closes in on me and I close my eyes.

“Surprise” huh? My eyes flutter open in confusion. Warm checks brush against mine as they pull back. I turn to face him, just barely missing his face with my lips. He pulls out a small box that was hidden under the piece of blanket that I sat next to. Oh.

*@veenau on weheartit.com*

“What’s wrong? I thought you would’ve liked gifts” his tone and raised eyebrows send my hopes and stomach to a plummet. His hand rest on the box in front of me and reach for latch to open it. I feel like I’m about to throw up. Am I over thinking all of this? I could’ve sworn he was going to kiss me. Tears threaten to surface but my vision and thoughts are interrupted by something shiny and beautiful.

In front of me, Sabito raises the most beautiful bracelet I’ve ever seen. Gems that could rival the beauty of those lavender-eyes-I-love glisten in the morning light. It’s golden hooks catch my breath and now I’m starting to think those tears might escape. Sabito’s looks satisfied as I take and put on the beautiful gift. Once its on, his hands takes mine and turns it over to observe it.

“Looks even better than I imagined on you”

“Thank you so much, it’s... it’s too much really” tears sting my face, making it hard to look him in the eyes.

His hand returns to my cheek, comforting me with his soft smile and caresses me.

“Nonsense. I still have plenty more to give.” It’s too much. My emotions are overwhelmed with such passion that I feel like I’m going to burst. I love him. I’ve always had, and I always will. How can he give me such things and not expect me to cling onto him still.

“(Y/n)” his face turns serious and I freeze. Eyes search mine, reaching into the depths of my orbs. I’m losing it. I’m leaning to into his hold and it’s happening again. His face comes close and this time I don’t close my eyes. I don’t want to be deceived again. Only this time his face doesn’t turn away. It’s coming closer and I lean in. He stops, our faces just a breath away.

“I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to respect you in your age and relationship with me and your brother. I tried my best but I can’t-“

“Neither can I!” Lips clash and breaths are lost.

I’m eager and can’t handle it anymore. I grab his horari to pull us closer. I mindlessly get up and sit on the edge of his bed, all while wrapping an arm around him and keeping our lips together. I want to kiss him hard and give him everything but his hand turns to a grip and tightens ever so slightly, pulling me away. Before I could feel hurt, his lips return to me. Only this time they were softer. He takes the lead to care for me with his lips. Gently parting mine with his skillful movements, encouraging me to follow his sweet rhythm. Tingles spread from my lips and shoot down me. Our warm breaths are tangled and I start to feel heat build up between my thighs. I may be a virgin, but I know exactly what desires are building within me. I’ve been thinking about Sabito for years, and those thoughts and fantasies have only evolved in the recent years.

*@1214kstr on Twitter*

My fingers start to work their way to the back of his head, massaging his scalp and getting lost in his long hair. I’m sinking further into his warm kiss. My eagerness takes over again and I flush myself against him. For a moment I thought I might’ve pushed it, but his hand glides down. Wrapping around my waist and holding me firmly against him. Even with only 1 arm, he still overpowers me.

My breath gives out first and I’m forced to pull away. His hand moves from a tight wrap around me to squeezing my hip, not daring to let me get away. As if I would dare run away now. The looks we now exchanged were a mixture of shock and satisfaction. How I’ve waited and dreamed of this moment for so long. My deep breaths turn to tiny laughs.

He breaks into a smile and joins my laughter, only to shut me up due to another deep kiss that takes my breath away.

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

The rest of the day consisted of kisses, gifts, and walks around the property. I, of course, also insisted I tend to him. He was still in great pain, but he pushed through for me and made today the best.

We were now back in his house, in his kitchen that I’m all too familiar in. After much pestering on my end, I finally convinced him to let me cook for us. Our meal was delicious and I was starting to feel anxious. I didn’t want the day to end.

“Sooooo…. What happens from here on out?” I questioned. I had to know. It’s a question thats lingered in my mind these past few nights, worrying for him and wondering what’s going to happen next. He’s been back for several days. Since then, besides being with me, he’s had meetings and some time to himself.

“Well, I obviously can’t continue as a slayer in my condition.” He leans back in his chair, shifting his mood from light to heavy.

*@uofang on Twitter, posted Aug 27th, 2019*

I felt the pressure of his gaze, holding still and waiting for this next words.

He inhales deeply. The rise of his chest was just enough to push aside his robe to expose that much more of his broad chest. I’d be lying if I say my eyes didn’t linger too long.

With a clearing of his throat, my attention snaps back to his face. Embarrassment flushes my face, but he just smirks. He drums his fingers on the table and continues. “However, my desire to help still lingers. My pride is stubborn and I can’t let up. So… the master and I have come to a conclusion of my retirement. I’ll settle a bit of ways, in a new home of my own. There I will try my best to help guide and train future slayers sent to me once I’m fully healed. I can handle myself. Financially and stability wise, I’m fine. I’m set. However….” He leans forward and places his handless arm on the table with his other. Both of our eyes look down at them, then back at each other.

“I’m going to need help. Someone to help me with some things…some cooking … and some other things.”

My chest puffs up. Here’s my chance!

“Let me. I can be your helper!” I know what I’m saying would mean abandoning being a slayer. Maybe I can still fight. Yes, I’ll talk to the master. But, what if Sabito or master objects?

He shakes his head at me, a light chuckle escapes his lips and I’m feeling confused.

“I don’t want you as my helper, (y/n)”

Ouch.

“I want you as my wife”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#demon slayer #kny #kny sabito #sabito x reader #Sabito #pillar men #giyuu #water pillar #kimetsu no yaiba #DS

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troquantary · 3 years

Text

Didyme, Part 2: Something, Something, Plato's Allegory of the Cave

Continuing from here, and we’re doing sub-parts for this bit. I’m genuinely surprised I had this much to say. (And fun fact, I almost lost the entire goddamn post, but fortunately I was copy-pasting into Word just in case. Not today, Satan.)

2.1. What Canon Tells Us

Didyme’s murder by Aro (and with Caius’ apparent assistance, either during or afterwards), is only mentioned on the page in Life and Death, the 10th Anniversary gender-swapped version of Twilight. Edythe/Edward mentions it briefly when discussing the painting of the leaders Carine/Carlisle brought back from Volterra, but it’s just background information with little narrative weight. I bring it up just to highlight Caius’ involvement and knowledge -- I’ll get back to that.

Now, here’s the “canon” backstory we have to work with. Per the illustrated guide, Didyme was Aro’s younger sister, and he turned her at some point after meeting Marcus, Caius, and Athenadora. Interestingly, the Guide doesn’t say anything about Aro returning to Didyme out of brotherly love; apparently he just wanted to see if she would have a powerful gift like his, only to be underwhelmed (”disappointed,” according to his Guide entry) by her actual ability -- she made people happy just by being around them. Then she and Marcus fell in love, sharing “the strongest romantic bond of any of the Volturi” (from Marcus’ Guide entry), and this prompted a suddenly very single Aro to seek out his own mate, Sulpicia. The Guide says Didyme “distracted” Marcus from Aro’s goals, and that the pair eventually made plans to split off on their own, leading Aro to murder Didyme so he could hold onto Marcus and his valuable gift. Although nothing written so far suggests that Aro even liked his sister, the Guide does state that Aro “truly loved her” and that his grief upon killing Didyme was genuine.

Apparently Caius’ role in all is was something Meyer thought up later, because none of the leaders’ Guide entries mention him being in on it. (You can’t see me, but I’m staring pointedly at Part One.)

2.2. Fuck Canon, Actually

(This just seemed like the funniest place for a cut. Continued below~)

I’ll be honest with you, person who’s persistent/unfortunate enough to still be here: very little about this murder scenario makes sense to me. I’m going to start with the “disappointing” nature of Didyme’s gift and that it was supposedly much less useful to Aro than Marcus’, because that’s just...stupid, frankly, and there’s no way Aro would have missed the inherent utility of Didyme’s gift. I don’t even have to read into anything to get this idea -- the Guide itself shows us how useful it is! It says right there in Marcus’ entry that Aro went off to turn Didyme, and returned with his sister, “along with the first members of the guard -- vampires who were drawn to Didyme’s aura of happiness.” That is a direct quote.

Just -- I practically shrieked when I read that. You’re telling me that Didyme’s gift was the stated reason their coven got its first subordinates, and I’m supposed to believe that Aro thought that was disappointing? Fuck off! Fuck off!! Even if Didyme’s happiness aura isn’t as powerful as Corin’s opium haze, well, Aro doesn’t have Corin yet, does he? He has every reason in the world to want to keep Didyme around, drawing other vampires to his cause -- even if most of those vampires aren’t gifted or skilled enough to join the guard, it’s still good PR.

At this early stage in the Volturi’s rise to power, it isn’t a good time to lose Didyme -- or any of his inner coven, really. Yet Aro apparently considered her disposable enough that he killed her. I can’t square this with what we know about Aro: that he’s still coherent despite holding god-knows how many people’s lives in his head; that he’s very intelligent; that he’s cunning, charming, and persuasive. Aro, once he learned they were thinking about leaving, would have tried to talk to Didyme and Marcus and done everything in his power to convince them to stay just a bit longer, until the Volturi’s position was more secure. And maybe he did; the timeline of all this is hazy, but nothing in the Guide suggests that Aro jumped straight to duplicity and murder. Clearly, though, whatever negotiations or arguments he presented failed. So what does their desire to leave the Volturi at this critical stage say about Didyme, or Marcus for that matter?

2.3. What It Says About Didyme and Marcus (Mostly Headcanon)

Brace yourself, because we’re into full headcanon territory now. To follow me, please refer to @therealvinelle ‘s meta about the larger mission of the Volturi and why they’re necessary, because I’m starting from the perspective that the Volturi are ultimately a force working in vampires’ and humans’ favor. While Meyer and the Guide would have you believe that Aro’s just power-hungry, actually looking at the impact of the Volturi and the benefits of enforcing secrecy shows that his broader vision isn’t just world domination, but establishing a world in which vampires and humans can both thrive and endure. There’s no way the rest of the inner coven was unaware of this goal; we know Aro talks a lot, so he’s certainly talked his coven’s ears off about this.

Now, we know very little about Marcus and what he was like before he was all dead inside. Based on what would be a logical balance of personalities, with Aro as lead decision-maker and Caius as ruthless enforcer, it seems likely that Marcus was originally the voice of reason and/or mercy. I also think Marcus would have had a strong sense of duty. The Guide says that Aro was the first friend Marcus had as a vampire, and I believe that Marcus cared about him very much and was committed to the Volturi. I think he would have been genuinely conflicted about leaving, especially considering the stabler, safer world the Volturi have been striving to build, and which they haven’t yet secured. Again, it’s a very bad time for any of the leadership to split off -- but in the end, Marcus and Didyme are going to do it anyway.

What for, though? Why leave? @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin has an interesting take on that question here: that Didyme saw that she and Marcus would be locked into the Volturi life and a thankless existence for eternity and tried to opt out while she still could. I like it a lot, it’s a great post and that scenario makes sense, but the tone of it feels...too forgiving. Maybe that’s because I’m evil. But the way I see it, given the magnitude of the Volturi’s mission, and its (at best) very tenuous grip on power at the time Marcus and Didyme plan to leave (they haven’t even defeated the Romanians yet), jeopardizing the entire operation so that they can pursue their romance unburdened strikes me as...well, fundamentally selfish on some level, so much that I find myself side-eyeing Didyme and Marcus for it. Although to be clear, it’s not the desire to live their own lives apart from the Volturi that I find selfish, just the timing of their departure.

Honestly, I’d like not to vilify another female character if I don’t have to. Given everything I’ve just said, I see Didyme in much the same way as I see Bella: not a bad person, but someone with definite selfish tendencies. At best, she’s likely short-sighted or naive if she doesn’t see how leaving the Volturi at this stage is fucking them over in a big way. However, I hesitate to read into the happiness aura as a straightforward indication of Didyme’s fundamental goodness; I think she probably was kind, charming, and delightful to be around, hence the nature of her gift -- but that capacity for selfishness is still there. (I’m certain Meyer wants us to take her gift as proof of Didyme’s goodness, to reinforce how evil Aro is for killing her...but I think I’ve made my disdain for what Meyer wants me to think pretty clear.)

2.4. MURDER MOST FOUL

I am not saying it was justifiable or okay for Aro to murder his sister. I’m really not. It’s actually better, from a character standpoint, that it isn’t okay -- that Aro has to carry this with him for the rest of his life while Marcus sits in the throne next to him, reduced to a husk, so that in effect Aro has lost them both after all. It’s got that Greek tragedy element @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin mentioned in her post. (Even better from that standpoint, the Guide implies that Aro found Chelsea relatively soon after killing Didyme, which compounds the tragedy.) I mean, it’s terrible, and it hurts me because I love Aro, but it’s compelling stuff.

What I am saying is, I can see how their insistence on leaving might have deeply hurt and offended him. And that brings me to my issue with the calculated murder scenario the Guide gives us -- I still think Didyme’s gift is too valuable for Aro to throw away by killing her in cold...venom (or whatever), even as the price for keeping Marcus in the fold. Plus, there’s the fact that Aro does love Didyme, and I imagine her gift makes it very difficult for people to think of harming her...when they’re calm, anyway.

Yeah, the only way I can really see the murder happening is if Aro killed Didyme in the heat of an argument about her leaving, possibly even by accident -- except you can’t accidentally kill a vampire, can you? It’s a very deliberate process wherein you have to dismember them and burn every piece, which also means it probably takes long enough that any irrational, overwhelming rage would wear off before you were done. But now that you’ve started....

I mean, at that point it would certainly be awkward to put your half-rubble sister back together, and Aro would be in a whole other load of shit even if he did. It’s possible, given what we’re told, that Aro could have lashed out and yanked Didyme’s head off before snapping out of it, only to realize that his sole option now is to finish the job. If he doesn’t kill Didyme now, she and Marcus won’t just leave, they’ll be sworn enemies of Aro from then on. And thanks to Didyme’s gift being the draw for a lot of the guard, and the inherently bad look of a leader who would brutally attack his own sister, a chunk of the guard would probably leave with them, destroying Aro’s plans. No, the only way to salvage it is to follow through.

Then Aro has to call in Caius for help with the cover-up, because it wasn’t actually planned and it’s just pure luck that no one walked in on the murder as it was happening.

And maybe Aro learns a hard lesson about learning to let people walk away, leaving the possibility open that they could be drawn in again. Because if Aro had just waited, he would have found Chelsea, and with her gift he could have had Marcus and Didyme back again.

Assuming everything didn’t fall apart as soon as they left, of course. But that’s a whole other what-if scenario.

#and those are my thoughts on didyme #...mostly #but i need a break now #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #didyme volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #sources cited:#therealvinelle #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin #i'm going to go lie down

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melodyofthevoid · 3 years

Text

Notes on a Funeral

A small Drabble of dubious canonicity. I wanted to... indulge, and so I did. The details are accurate, the speaker however, may or may not exist.

Weather when it comes to funerals is a funny thing.

But what weather would be appropriate for such an event? A bright sun would burn the open wound of loss, dark storms would limit the mourners, and perhaps in extreme cases, lead to one more grave to the pile. Fog is gloomy, overcast skies an uncertainty, so, perhaps, there is no proper way for nature to match the feelings of a funeral.

This may be a note that is somewhat melodramatic to some; however, few will ever read this record of events,this is more of a my personal account than anything else. A way to experience events for myself long after they’ve passed. Serving as the king’s personal scribe may be a busy task most days but it can get rather dull. Arguments over land rights are only interesting the first dozen or so times.

So I amuse myself in other ways.

For one, making note of the goings on of some of the king’s less noted members of the house. Perhaps it’s demeaning to label them as such, but in the eyes of the king, and what he cares for, there’s many who goes unnoticed: the servants, the pages, the guards that stand watch all day, his middle son, the most interesting secrets lie with them more often than not. In the nooks and crannies that often go overlooked whether due to status or sheer neglect.

But I digress.

The day is bright, the sun clear after a rather early snow, the white layer glistening, almost blinding in the light. It’s not often that the air is this cold this soon after harvest, but unfortunately it is. I do not envy those who had to dig this grave, the ground must’ve been unyielding, stubborn, each effort to change it met with defiance. In an odd sense it was like the prince himself was fighting his fate.

Dib’s coffin is simple, as far as coffins go, though I cannot say that I’ve seen many, let alone those of royalty. Then again most of high standing live long lives, long enough to see that they get a proper coffin of their choosing, and most coffins are not empty for lack of their proper occupant. I wonder what his Majesty’s will be like. Presuming I see the day, of course.

The family, as well as Dib’s… former fiance? He would not be a widow in technicality, would he? No, he is merely almost a widower then. An almost more tragic title. In any case, all of Dib’s loved ones are dressed in somber blacks, forgoing their usual blues, whites, and in Prince Zim’s case, pinks, in favor of something more appropriate. It makes them stand out all the more against the landscape, white as it is. They make their way to the graveyard, a good ways out from the capital’s gleam. It’s a rather small and simple place, one not even I knew existed prior.

The fanfare and public mourning have already come I suppose, what need is there for flashy monuments to the dead when they’ll forever be written? Better to let the family mourn in private, show their weaknesses to only those they trust.

The citizens need not see. It is not for them to see.

It is quiet, quite quiet, as the procession moves forward, the only sound being the light crunch of snow beneath hooves and wheel, nothing more coming from the typically lively group. My quill makes a light scratch, but it is not noticed by any as per usual. No one questions what I write.

All the better for me.

They are better off not seeing the raw manuscripts I put to ink.

I have a feeling they would find my prose less amusing than I do.

The group disembarks from their carriage, quietly grouping around the newest addition to the many markers. A simple message sits upon carved stone: “Here Lies His Highness Dib Membrane. May his spirit roam ever free.”

Lady Gazelene offers Prince Zim her arm as they stand by the gaping wound in the ground. He takes it with some hesitation, as he places his hand on it he seems to wilt, like the frost snapped flowers of early spring. Drained of life before they could truly bloom. The tears sit upon his cheeks yet they do not fall. I have to wonder for whom he keeps them up so high? His beloved or himself? He holds a constant hand on a dagger by his side, thumb running over the amber stone shining from the hilt.

It hasn’t left his side since it was unfortunately returned to him.

Gaz’s expression is unwavering as well, though how her hand shakes at her side does not go unnoticed, at least not by me. It is admittedly odd to see her in a formal gown, no sword by her side. Another upending of normalcy.

Prince Zib stands by his father’s side, impassive and conflicted as the coffin lowers down. His would be a perspective I would love to know, but now is not the time for such questions. I doubt there will ever be a time for such questions. He is an enigma to all. Membrane speaks only a few parting words, his normally booming voice now as gentle as the flakes that glisten around his feet. Their crystalline perfection as cold as the flakes are beautiful.

The last of the dirt covers the coffin, a mound of brown standing stark in a landscape of white. In time flowers will bloom here, life will come to the land, and the people will heal, though I doubt that such closure will come to any of the attendees here. Not for some time at least.

I continue to merely sit and observe, as is my duty, while the return journey begins. I offer no condolences for what would they matter? I am no one to any of this family, and the gods only know how many letters and gifts they will receive in the coming months offering support, sincere or not. I am not needed in adding my empty words to the pile.

Besides, why would I say he will be missed? That his spirit is in some better place? After all, it is rather rude to speak of the living as though they were dead. And to imply his current situation is preferable to living would be tantamount to blasphemy.

Perhaps it is better that there are no mirrors nor are there windows out in this field, that the shovels heaving the dirt down are rusted and covered. It must be odd enough seeing brief flashes of the world during the day, just out of sight as his twin moved about the palace, I cannot imagine the disorientation of seeing one’s own tombstone. Viewing the ones act as though you are gone is strange enough. Watching your brother whom you trusted convince them so even more painful.

The peculiarity of this tragedy will never cease to amaze me, how quickly jealous is acted upon with the right spark of inspiration. What opportunity for growth and prosperity he had and yet he wanted more and for what? Admittedly the pushes and nudges toward Prince Zib’s actions were partially of my own doings, the bird was a direct interference that surprised even myself in its towardness. Much of my meddlings come in offhand remarks, small lapses that add over time.

There’s more uncertainty in that, and thus, more avenues for fate to take. There was really only one way Zib would’ve reacted at that time, but there’s so many ways that a passing glance at a mirror on a dance floor, or a stray vision of someone thought lost can change the outcome.

I doubt that I will attempt such a direct action again, but I will also say that it was a sight to see the prince in such a state of euphoria afterwards. The same that I saw after Dib was locked away. The same I will likely see again. The prince seems hesitant to change his current course, determined to see his claim on the crown through no matter the cost.

No doubt he will be paying it in full eventually.

I know not the exact details of how the events coming will unfold, when Zim will understand the truth of what has transpired, when Gaz will understand her brother’s betrayal. All I know is that my job will be far more interesting when they do occur. For now, I will have to figure out how to translate this for the more… official records. I would like to keep this position after all.

Perhaps I will start with the weather.

-Melody

#my writing #zadr #royalty au #Invader Zim #scribe melody my beloved #she just meddles and watches the chaos unfold #what am I if not a scribe documenting the events of this tragic tale?#making small tweaks but overall just watching #but yeah #this was fun #I don't write first person very often so this was a neat little project

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hanniiesuckle17 · 4 years

Text

Love > Shame

A/n: im hoping i got the request right! Hope you all enjoy! (this is not thoroughly edited srryyyyy) also like frick ^^this video his vlog is the most boyfriend thing ever

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: cussing, partial nudity

Requested by: @ann0325441904

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoe @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @yangomangos @hoes4hoseok

Summary: Sometimes timing isn’t the best. With tensions high at work for Jisung and your time of the month really kicking you in the ass, a fight breaks out between you and your boyfriend leaving you completely alone in a country far away from your old family and friends. Misunderstood problems turn to jealous and catty fights. Is there any way the two of you can come back together?

Genre: romance, angst, fluff

◈

Pain shot through my abdomen. It was like someone was sticking eight thousand needles into my stomach repeatedly for the sole purpose of fucking with me. Fuck womanhood. The pain meds I took earlier were doing nothing to help. This was putting me in a terrible mood.

The sound of shower running floated from behind the closed door of the adjoining bathroom. My longtime boyfriend, Jisung, lay just beyond it. It was easily one o’clock in the morning, but I always waited up for Jisung to return home from practice. He had also come home in a rather sour mood.

Deciding that the leggings I was wearing were far too constricting to sleep in with cramps, I got up and waddled my way over to our big closet. Jisung and I both had enough clothes each to fill an entire apartment so when we were apartment hunting, a big closet was a must.

I threw the pants in the hamper and grabbed one of Jisung’s t-shirts from his side of the closet. The soft black fabric fell around my thighs. Why Jisung bought shirts four times than his actual size was still a mystery to me. The pressure on my stomach lessened but still remained.

The door opened to reveal a shirtless Jisung emerging from the bathroom. A pair of gray sweatpants hung low on his hips, the fabric making a swishing sound as he walked. It was clear he was still upset. Jisung roughly towel dried his hair, rubbing the cloth over his dark locks. “You still upset, babe?” I asked looking over at him. It took all my willpower not to snap out the words. He shook his head and looked over at me with a pointed glance. “You wanna talk about it?”

Again, Jisung shook his head. “Ji, it’s not healthy to keep this bottled up. I think you might feel better if you would talk about it.” An aggravated sigh left his lips and he laid back on the bed.

“Y/n. I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”

It was hard to watch Jisung so upset. I walked over and laid next to him, trying to ignore the agonizing pain. My fingers traced random patterns against his stomach. The action usually calmed him down. However, he simply turned his head away from me tossing the towel somewhere else in the room. “Jisung, its not good to go to bed angry-”

“Babe, just leave me alone and stop being such a clingy bitch.”

I froze, hand hovering over his stomach. Silence hung heavy in the air. It seemed Jisung had no intention of taking back what he said. He didn’t even seem like he regretted it. “Excuse me?” I said sitting up in disbelief.

I felt like screaming. Crying. Throwing everything in this room at Jisung’s little pimple head until it popped. “What?” He said rolling his eyes. Wet black hair hung in front of his vision.

“Did you just....”

“Just get over it. I want to go to bed.”

“Get...over it?” I scoffed getting up from the bed.

“Yes. You’re overreacting. Just get over it.” I shook my head in disbelief. This was not the Jisung that I knew. This was not the Jisung I was in love with. The boy who ran in the rain with me just to capture the perfect kiss on our first date. The boy who sent me love notes every day for two months until I agreed to go out with him. The one who stayed with me when my aunt died and I was too heartbroken to leave the bedroom since I couldn’t fly home for the funeral. The one who never went to sleep until he told me how much he loved me whether I was awake to hear it or not.

“Look I get you’ve had a shitty day. But I’m not just someone you can push around Jisung. You know that.”

He sat up, clearly annoyed. “I’m not pushing you around!”

“You called me a bitch!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like one!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like an asshole.” Jisung rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the bed. Anger started to bubble up in my chest. “What the fuck, Ji?”

“Look- I don’t owe you anything okay! All I wanted to do was come home and get to sleep. I don’t want to deal with all your nagging.”

“Jisung I care about you. I love you! I’m just trying to help.”

Nothing seemed to make it better. Eventually, I stopped trying to be the good guy. I stopped trying to keep my voice quiet. If he was going to yell at me, then I would yell back. He couldn’t just walk all over me. My emotions broke loose along with the rest of hell.

“I WORK ALL DAY! ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON YOUR ASS AT HOME ON YOUR COMPUTER. I’M TRYING TO PROVIDE FOR THE TWO OF US Y/N!”

“SIT ON MY ASS? I’M TRYING TO GRADUATE JISUNG!”

“Listen I can’t deal with you anymore.” He said turning his back on me and looking out the window. The muscles in his back were tight and tense. “Just fuck off, Y/n.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. The pain in my stomach was just making me even angrier. “That’s it. Get out.” Jisung turned around in shock. He started stuttering and trying to form a coherent sentence. “You heard what I said. Out.” My finger pointed to the door furthering my stance on the situation.

“Y/n-”

“Get out, Jisung! Go sleep at the dorms.”

He started gathering his things, tugging on a random hoodie and slipping on some socks from the dresser. “This is is exactly what I was talking about.” He mumbled. Jisung stood up, clearly pissed off. He started towards the bedroom door but stopped and turned back until he was standing right in front of me. His wet hair was covered by a beanie, pushing it all in front of his eyes. “You know what, Y/n? Call me when you decide to stop being such a heartless bitch.”

My hand flew across his cheek before I could even think. What surprised me...what hurt me....was that I didn’t regret it. Jisung stood in front of me, shocked, his eyes looked hurt. His doe eyes which I loved so much always told me what he was thinking. But, as they stared back at me, I didn’t recognize them.

“I hate you...”

He sighed seeing a tear leak onto my cheek. His long fingers wrapped around my wrist, but I pulled away before he could get to close. His cheek was starting to turn red from when I hit him. “No...you don’t.” I looked away not wanting him to see me cry. Of course, he knew I was lying. There was nothing he didn’t know about me.

“I should....I should hate you...” He made no effort to reach out to me again. In all honesty, I didn’t know if I wanted him to right now. I wanted to push him away, but I also want him to hold me until everything was okay again. “Just go.”

After a moment, he nodded and I followed him to the front door. He picked up his keys and walked out into the hall, leaving me standing in the doorway. He turned back to me, like he was going to say something else, but stopped when he looked into my eyes.

“Don’t call me,” I said, the last tear falling down my cheek as I shut the door.

◈

Two weeks had passed. It looked like Jisung and I were on a break. Whether it was temporary or for good I didn’t know. My hand brushed over Jisung’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold. They were never cold. Sunlight streamed in through the large glass window in our bedroom. Well...it wasn’t really ‘ours’ anymore. I sat up waiting for arms to pull me back down under the covers. Arms that never reached out.

Mornings like these were usually spent in Jisung’s arms staring out at the skyline trying to convince him that he did indeed have to go to work. Lazy kisses, sleepy whispers even though no one else was in the room but us. There were no calls. No texts. Not even a fucking post on Instagram. Nothing.

All my friends were back home. I was alone in Seoul. No one but Jisung. There was a knock at the front door. Dragging myself out of the queen size bed, my feet trudged over the wood floor in the apartment. I looked through the peephole only to find a huge stuffed bear looking back at me.

“The fuck...” I mumbled. My fingers switched open the locks and opened the door. The teddy bear moved aside to reveal a face that made me burst into tears. “DANNY!” I screamed wrapping my arms around him.

Daniel had been my friend practically since birth. We grew up next door to each other. Our parents even bathed us together. Daniel hugged me tight spinning me around in the hallway. It felt so good to see him again.

I would not have made it through high school in my home country if Danny hadn’t been with me. I had missed him so much. As most old friends did, we had dated for about six months in senior year but decided we were better off as we were before. Daniel was a sight for sore eyes.

“How are you here?” I asked cupping his face.

He smiled down at me. Even though he hadn’t had a growth spurt since the ninth grade it seemed he had sprouted another five inches. “I’ve been planning to surprise you! With finals coming up I knew you’d be busy, so I came down so we could party beforehand.” He ruffled my hair and moved past me into the apartment. “So, where is he? I want to meet the man officially!”

Daniel looked around the quiet apartment before turning back to me expectantly. Jisung. He was looking for Jisung. Just the thought of him made me sad. Danny’s smile fell seeing my expression. “Y/n, what’s wrong?” He brought me further into the apartment and closed the door. “Did I say something?”

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. “Do you want some tea?” Looking for anything to distract me I moved to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove. Before I could turn the switch, a hand came over mine.

“Y/n, did something happen with you and Jisung?”

He sighed watching me nod. The silence only lasted a moment before Daniel pulled me into another warm hug. The feeling of his arms around me was comforting, but not fulfilling. There was something missing about the way he hugged me.

My hair. Every time Jisung hugged me, one of his hands would always hold my head to his chest. His fingers would stroke my hair, lingering at the base of my neck. It was a small thing. A very Jisung thing. But, a small thing I missed none the less. I felt empty without his fingers threading through my hair.

“You know what we should do?” I hummed in response as he pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “Let’s go drinking!” Daniel was always dragging me on wild adventures. He could never sit still. That’s probably why we never worked out. While I loved a good adventure, sometimes I wanted to just sit with a good book, or just lie in bed listening to the rain.

“Fine. But, you’re paying.” He cheered and rushed off to go change and I found myself doing the same. Hopefully, I could get Jisung off of my mind.

◈

My eyes looked across the room from over the rim of a martini glass. The heels of my shoes lay firmly hooked over the bottom of the bar stool. “What happened anyway?” Daniel said over the thumping music. He sat next to me at the bar of the nightclub we were in, taking a swig from an overpriced bottle of beer.

A sigh floated past my lips. My fingers traced the base of the elegant glass. “We got into a stupid fight. I regret almost everything. If I wasn’t on my fucking period I probably wouldn’t have acted so rashly. It wasn’t all my fault though. He’s the one who called me a ‘heartless bitch’.” Daniel spit out the beer he was currently drinking.

“He what?!”

“He was just angry.”

“That’s no excuse.”

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “If it helps I did slap him.” Daniel let loose a little smile and took another sip from his drink. “He had a really bad day. He wouldn’t talk to me. I was just trying to help.” I watched Daniel’s brows furrow. The base of his beer bottle was rolling around the bar top as he thought.

“Do you remember in sophomore year, I had just gotten into a massive fight with my parent about school and I wouldn’t tell you anything about it.”

“Yeah. It pissed me off. You clearly needed to vent. You ended up punching Marty Finch in anger the next day.”

Daniel laughed before turning towards me again, eyes serious. “Well, I was too ashamed to talk to you about it. Then, I mean. You were always much better than me in school. I didn’t want you to think less of me because I was having so much trouble with something so simple.” I stared into the clear liquid in my glass. “What I’m saying is...he may have felt like you would have seen him as less of a man if he told you how he was feeling at the time.”

Daniel reached over and took my hand in his, laying it on the bartop. “He still didn’t have to call me a bitch though,” I said with a sad smile on my lips.

“Yeah, no. That was a fucking asshole move.” My friend glanced down at my now empty drink. “Another gin martini, dry.” He said to the bartender, who removed my empty glass. Daniel scanned my face. It was hard to hide the depressing way I was feeling. “You really miss him don’t you?”

I nodded, looking away from him and out into the club. “I really do. Danny, I miss him so fucking mu-” I froze. I must be imagining things. My eyes must be lying to me because there was no way I was looking at Jisung sitting on the other side of the club. His arm was draped around a girl with dyed hair. Her hand was squeezing his thigh as he whispered something in his ear. His eyes met mine.

There was a flash of something. Sadness? Guilt? Longing? But, it disappeared before I could question it. Daniel followed my gaze, tapping his finger against the back of my hand. “What’s up? Who is that?” Anger started to boil in the pit of my stomach. Maybe not anger. Anger wasn’t a good word. It hurt more than it made me angry. Jealousy. Jealousy is what was eating away at my insides as his hand played with her hair.

Danny looked over at the man who used to be mine with a curious gaze. “Jisung,” I whispered, turning back and downing the new martini in one gulp. The alcohol burned the back of my throat distracting me from the stabbing pain in my heart.

Daniel started to get up, fury in his eyes burning like white hot flames. My hand stopped him from doing something he would later probably not regret at all. “Y/n- are you kidding right now? I’m gonna kill him!”

“Danny, stop. Let’s just go.”

I took his hand in mine and dragged him away from the bar. The air around me felt heavy. Like I was up on a mountain. Pushing away the pain in my chest I dragged my friend away from the club, not feeling the pair of doe eyes on my back.

◈

The drone of the television played through the apartment. It was raining outside. It had been raining since the night of the club about four days ago. Daniel sat on my couch, my legs across his lap. A half empty bottle of wine sat on the coffee table and a fully drained one lay next to it. Much alcohol had been consumed in the past few days between the two of us. Daniel; to make me feel better. Me; to forget about the hurt I felt in my chest.

A light buzz was hovering in my brain as I took another sip from my wine glass. “I know that now is probably not the time,” Daniel said, changing topics. “But, I had a question to ask you about Marin.”

Marin was Daniel’s girlfriend. She was quite possibly the sweetest person I had ever met. Daniel was lucky to have her. “Oh no. What did you do? You didn’t run here to escape from your fuck up did you? Danny, she’ll kill me! I like being alive!” He laughed patting my leg a few times.

“No. Don’t worry. I wanted your advice.”

“Hit me with it, baby,” I said drinking the rest of my glass dry.

Daniel set the glass on the table, turning to me. “Is two and a half years too soon?” I pouted my lips and looked out the window. The view was still immaculate without Jisung next to me. It just felt...lonely even with Danny here.

“Too soon for what?”

He sighed, that familiar cheeky grin popping onto his cheeks. “I want to ask Marin to marry me.”

“GET OUT OF TOWN!” I screamed. He laughed when I started squealing. My hands slapped at his shoulder. My little Danny was going to get married.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I came to Seoul to ask for your advice. And also to ask if you’ll be my ‘best man’ of sorts.”

“Are you kidding? Of course, I will!” I jumped up from the couch and poured us both more wine. “Have you asked her dad?” He nodded taking a sip of the sweet alcohol.

“So you think I should do it?”

“Fuck yeah, I think you should do it!” I stared at Daniel with a smile on my face. I could remember when he had gotten his long-legged ass stuck in a baby swing at the park for three hours before we had to find a pair of bolt cutters and run off with the swing. “I cannot believe you are getting married! My little Danny!” I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around his neck, carefully making sure not to spill my wine.

The sound of the front door opening had me pulling away from my friend. My eyes widened as Jisung stepped through the door, keys in hand. His stare moved from me to Daniel then zeroed in on my hand still on his neck.

“Jisung-” I shot up on my feet setting the wine on the table.

He scoffed closing the door, shoving the keys in his back pocket. “Don’t let me interrupt your date. I just came to get some things.” Jisung’s voice sounded like music to my ears despite its cold tone. He wore a pair of old ripped pair of black jeans I hadn’t seen since we started dating and a baggy white shirt. His usual noir beanie covering his dark hair.

Daniel awkwardly tapped on his wine glass and watched as Jisung traveled into the bedroom. He looked and me before nudging his head towards the door. I mouthed a few choice words to him which resulted in a silent argument.

“One of us is going to go in there, and if I do he’s walking out with a black eye and some missing teeth.”

“Oh please. You know he could kick your ass with his hands tied behind his back,” I whispered.

“Why can’t you date less athletic people? I’d like to be able to defend your honor.” He started pushing me towards the bedroom with his foot. He groaned when I resisted. “Y/n, it’s obvious you're miserable without him and he doesn’t look too happy either.”

Taking a long deep breath, I turned towards the open doorway. My whole body went numb as I took the short steps into the room. Jisung stood at our closet, a bag open on the bed. His head turned hearing the door close behind me.

“Don’t worry. I’m just getting some clothes. I didn’t think you’d be here.” He tossed a hoodie into the bag, not meeting my eyes. I watched him pack for a moment. He clearly felt uncomfortable under my stare. “I’m going to be out of your hair soon. You don’t have to watch me like a hawk.”

“Don’t leave,”

His movements stopped, his back away from me towards the closet. An almost perfect replication of the night he left. His fingers twitched as if he was debating putting back the shirt in his hands.

“I’m a little tipsy, but I’m sober enough to know that if you walk out that door....I’m going to lose you forever.”

My eyes searched for any sign for me to continue, but his face stayed hidden from me. Jisung dropped his head but stayed silent. I watched his fingers tighten over the fabric in his hand.

My hand reached out, afraid to touch him, but longing to feel him again. His head turned feeling the brush of my palm on his arm. “Jisung,” He sighed hearing his name. “Please don’t leave.”

Jisung turned around, looking down at me. “I saw you.” He whispered. I saw tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. “I saw you. At the club. You were with the guy in there. I saw you walk in together.” He searched my eyes for something I did not know.

“So did I; I saw the girl.” He sighed, head falling into his hands. “Did you-...God I can’t even say it.” He winced when I tried to laugh through the awkwardness. “If you did-...we were technically on a break so... I have no right to be mad at you.”

“Even if I did, I would feel terrible if you weren’t.”

Jisung looked at me with sincerity. “You didn’t sleep with her?” He shook his head, staring down at me. Just one look into his big doe eyes told me he was telling the truth.

“She kissed me after you left, but I stopped her.” I couldn’t help the smile slipping onto my face. Jisung nodded towards the door before speaking again. “Is that your new boyfriend?”

“Danny? Hell no. He’s my best friend from back home. He came to visit.”

“Oh, thank God,” Jisung said in one breath. His hands reached for my cheeks smashing his lips against mine. My fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt tugging him closer to me. Jisung kissed me as if he was afraid I would disappear the moment he let go of me. His lips danced against mine, desperate to be with me again. I pulled away resting my forehead against his.

“Well...I mean technically...we dated in senior year, but that was a long time ago.”

He nodded, fingers threading through my hair as his lips returned to mine. I was just as hungry for him as he was for me. He smiled feeling me push him backward, without breaking our kiss. He laughed quietly when I moved him into the open closet instead of a wall. Jisung straightened himself up before taking control and pinning me up against the doorframe.

“Wait,” He said breaking the kiss, smiling as I chased after his lips. “Didn’t you say you lost your virginity your senior year.” He asked looking into my eyes, brows furrowed.

“Umm...shhhh. This is about us, yeah?”

Before he could say anything else about Daniel, I kissed him again tugging off his beanie and running my fingers through his soft locks. He broke away and nuzzled his face in my neck, arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “I’m so sorry, baby. I was a total ass. I should never have said those things.”

“No, I’m sorry. I regret everything that happened. My emotions were all wack because of my period.”

“Well...I did deserve that slap.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Hey!” He laughed, letting me know he wasn’t really offended. My thumb brushed over his cheek as I looked up into his eyes. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I was too ashamed about what had happened that day to talk about it and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?”

Leaning up, I kissed him gently savoring every moment. “Jisung, I love you. You never have to be ashamed to tell me anything. I love you unconditionally. Even when you leave coffee mugs all over the house. Even when you forget to pick up groceries when I ask you eight times in an hour.” He laughed resting his forehead against mine. “My love for you is greater than any mistake you could make or problem you have.”

“You are so cheesy.”

“You love it.”

“I love you,”

Jisung tilted his head, leaning down for another kiss. This one was slower, more careful. A knock on the door pulled us apart. Danny stood in the entryway, drinking from his wine glass. “So I’m assuming you will need a plus one on the wedding invite?” He said with a smile.

“Jisung?” He closed his eyes and smiled hearing his name from my lips. “Would you go to a wedding with me?” He nodded, kissing me on the cheek.

“Would love to, baby.”

Daniel walked over and reached over to shake Jisung’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you,” He said with his goofy, lopsided grin. Jisung warily looked him up and down but smiled and shook his hand. “You want to be a groomsman?”

“Depends. Did you fuck the love of my life when you were eighteen?”

“JISUNG!”

“WHAT?”

◈

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