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she-who-fights-and-writes · 8 months

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MASTER LIST OF INSTRUMENTAL PLAYLISTS FOR WRITING (OR FOR STUDYING, MAKING ART, ETC.)

I find that the perfect writing playlist can GREATLY enhance the writing experience. Even if it doesn't make your writing "better" (which it can, since it helps writers with visualization, tone, and mood), it can definitely make your writing flow easier!

Personally, words distract me when I'm writing, either by breaking my train of thought or by getting me too into the music so that I'm jamming out to my favorite tunes instead of writing.

Therefore, I've amassed a vast knowledge of instrumental music across a variety of media over a course of many years. Now here I am, deciding to share all of them with you!

Maddy’s Favorite Instrumental Songs

Just like the title says. All of the best pieces of instrumental music I've ever heard, compiled together with no regard for genre. It can be a bit of a whiplash playlist, but some amazing recs in there that I just like listening to in my free time, not just for writing.

Maddy’s Ultimate Instrumental Playlist

A mega compilation of 550+ fantastic instrumental music from a variety of media and genres. Kind of a whiplash playlist if you put it on shuffle, but is a great start for anyone looking to find what kind of instrumental music they like! Playlist Groupings in Order: Independent instrumental songs, live action movies, animated movies, animated tv shows, live action tv shows, video games.

Maddy's Instrumental for Sleep

Some more chill vibe instrumental for people who either A) want to sleep or B) want a relaxed playlist that won't distract you with loud volume and sudden changes in tempo or melody.

MISC PLAYLISTS:

you're a haggard adventurer discovering worlds beyond your wildest dreams

Music to inspire wonder and wanderlust, the kind of feeling you get when you finally reach the end of a mountain hike and see the world stretching out before you.

you're a hero who's just lost everything

Basically the most sad instrumental music I could find. A playlist for grief and revenge.

more beneath the cut :)

you're a cowboy in the great American West

Cowboy instrumental for all of your ambient and writing needs. Or if you just really want to feel like a cowboy.

you're a divine witness

Epic choir music (no English). Most religious, some not, but all kind of have that eerie sacred vibe. I listen to this while writing my book about angels and demons.

you’re a scholar uncovering the secrets of the universe

Great chill study playlist! Has the kind of same exploratory/discovery type feel as the haggard adventurer playlist, but more dark academia.

you’re a villain plotting to take over the world

Villain-coded instrumental! Sinister, dark, and/or unsettling.

you're an academic weapon

HIGH BPM STUDY PLAYLIST! Keeps me focused, hyped, and helps me work faster!

you're an ancient god

Playlist that gives an ancient/eerie vibe. But some ancient gods are merciful- so there are some upbeat songs for wonder and awe!

you're falling in love

Music that encapsulates what I think falling in love feels like. Very beautiful, tender, and uplifting instrumental.

you're fighting the final battle

Intense and epic battle music for all of your fight-scene-writing needs! Good for getting shit done, but isn't necessarily restricted to high BPM like the academic weapon playlist.

you're having a tea party

Refined instrumental for a tea party, including classical, big band, and some miscellaneous goodies.

you're in a chase scene

Music for writing chase scenes. Pretty good hype music, too. Includes soundtracks from classic chase scenes in popular media!

you're in the medieval times

Medieval-sounding music for all of your ambient and/or writing needs.

you’re in your childhood room. the door is open a crack. people talk softly downstairs.

A playlist dedicated to nostalgia, to the feeling of lying in bed with your nightlight on after being too tired to stay awake at your family get-together. Could either make your day or break your heart lmao

you're the happiest you've ever been

Lighthearted instrumental meant to lift your spirits! A playlist dedicated to the joys of the little things.

#writing #writers #writeblr #booklr #creative writing #studying #writing playlist #roleplay #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writing inspo #writing inspiration #inspo #music #music rec #instrumental music

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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The birth and resurrection of Buck

Have a meta to tide you over until the episode airs!!!

The imagery that the writers and the crew (and cast but they’re doing what they’re directed to do so I'm not including them here) have been utilising in relation to Buck and Christian symbolism is pretty interesting - and especially in relation to the resurrection of Christ.

We’ve seen so many references to it now that its almost like the universe is screaming at us or something! This is not fully comprehensive as I am sure there is more and I've not got time to do the level of in depth analysis I'd like to (I'm trying to get this out before 6x10 airs!), but this is the major points in relation to Buck and the resurrection. Putting it below the cut because its a bit long 😎

Buck is a saviour baby

We all know Buck was born to save his brother and that has had a profound impact on who he is and how he views himself - he has made saving people his entire personality. In Christianity Jesus was born to save the human race from sin and spent his life saving people through his preaching and miracles etc. Even Bucks name ties him to being a saviour - Evan means 'Gods gift' or 'Gods messenger' playing into the idea that God gave the Buckleys a gift (which they then didn't appreciate) and he then used Buck to spread his message (which we are only now truly getting to see the extent of) which leads me on to;

Travelling Buck

The bible details Jesus travelling preaching and spreading the word of God. These travels are an important part of the story and actually stem back to his birth - Mary and Joseph have to escape from Bethlehem and spend time in Egypt before returning to Nazareth

We see Buck escaping his parents and heading out on his own travels - sending postcards back to Maddie. Bucks travels are an important part of his own story - he didn't use his travels to preach etc in the way jesus did but he did use them to

St Christopher and the tsunami

I have a slightly unorthodox view of the st Christopher and the tsunami connection - but hear me out. So most people refer to Buck as being the embodiment of st Christopher in the tsunami arc because he carried Chris and got him to safety - all totally valid and definitely a legitimate way to read it. I However think there is a second way to view it because yes Buck saved Chris etc etc carrying him like St Christopher carried Jesus, but if you think about it metaphorically, things can look a little different.

Think about it this way - Eddie and Shannon have a baby and name him Christopher - then Shannon gives Eddie the St Christopher necklace - to protect him and remind him he has a family to come home to. Now Eddie carries that necklace around with him like a talisman.

Fast forward to the Tsunami and Christopher is dropped off with buck by Eddie to get him out of his loft - Buck is metaphorically drowning in his depression etc over not being able to return to work etc. The show was blatant in its use of the tsunami as a metaphor for the tidal wave of grief and depression both Buck and Christopher (and Eddie to a certain extent) were experiencing for differing reasons (Buck identifying himself through his job and feeling there is nothing else for him and Christopher the grief of losing his mother) - theres a reason he is they are the only two directly caught up in the wave! Buck directly refers to Christopher saving him - up on the fire truck "we saved each other" and then Eddie tells Buck its time for Christopher to "do the same [save him] for you" and then we get Bucks voiceover about the life raft that gets you home - implying that it is Christopher (and Eddie though his words) carrying Buck home (to safety.

We get to see it in action again in Eddie begins - Eddie is buried in rising water - yet the thought of Christopher (and Buck) leads him to safety - to saving himself. The story of St Christopher talks about the water swelling and rising - much like the Tsunami of course, but also like the rising water Eddie battles through to get back to safety - to his family.

It is this reason that I would argue Christopher is the embodiment of st Christopher, and not Buck, although they are in many respects interchangeable.

While we're on the subject of St Christopher, it is worth mentioning that he is not only the patron saint of travellers, but also of things related to travel and travellers—against lightning and pestilence in particular, obviously we had the pestilence shown through Covid - and the separation of Christopher from Eddie and Buck as a form of protection and now the lightning is coming out to play. I think the fact its Eddie connected to Buck on the ladder is more significant than it just being about Buddie - it also connects into the st Christopher of it all - Eddies necklace forms that direct connection to Christopher, and Eddie is going to be connected to Buck via a rope (I love layers connections like this!) thus connecting him to Christopher as well!

Maddie

Maddie as a name means 'from Magdala' - the place Mary Magdalene is from. Mary Magdalene has had a bad rap over the years - there is very little evidence that she was a prostitute - it is likely that another Mary (the most common name for women of the time) was conflated with Mary Magdalene and thus she becomes known as a prostitute. Mary was considered Jesus's most faithful follower, and the one who understood him best - she is considered to have taken care of him and financially supported his ministry. We could attribute all of these same characteristics to Maddie herself - she is the one who has taken care of Buck, she has supported him - one could say that giving him the Jeep and some cash so he could travel is that same as providing financial support (Bucks ministry being the fact that he needs to travel to find himself and end up in LA, so giving him the jeep sets everything in motion) and Maddie is also the one who understands him best (Eddie is on his way to superseding her but shared childhood trauma edges in her favour right now!) Mary Magdalene is the one who witnesses the empty tomb and the resurrection of Jesus - ergo Maddie being the one at Bucks bedside when he wakes isn’t that much of a reach for us to make.

A couple of other snippets before we get to the resurrection itself;

Jesus was 33 when he died - Buck is 33 (approximately) in Canon at the time of the lightning strike 👀

Jesus was resurrected on the 3rd day - we’ve been getting all the 3’s - literally all of them - this season and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Buck is in a coma for 3 days (and if I'm right about this i'll be flinging myself into the sun over it!)

Also we haven't talked about the Taylor of it all - Taylor is Judas! Let me explain, Judas became Jesus's closest apostle, but he is also separated from the other apostles, through his dislike of the way Jesus went about certain things - he's the only Apostle to question Jesus outright right and he betrayed Jesus - which lead to his crucifixion.

With Taylor she has always had this antagonistic side to her - she questions Buck (without understanding or reason), and she is technically the closest to him (by virtue of dating him not because she is actually the closest person to him) whilst also being separate from everyone else in the show. It is Taylor who betrays Buck and leads to the higher ups semi blacklisting Buck in the aftermath - similar to the way Judas's betrayal of Jesus allowed Pilate to arrest and ultimately kill him. In the same way that it was essentially predetermined that Judas would betray Jesus, it was predetermined on the show that Taylor would ultimately betray Buck (and the 118). Its important to remember that Buck feeling like he's been black listed etc as a result of Taylors actions is a key part of his spiral in season 6 - it is the catalyst for so much of what has happened thus far and part of why he was so determined to prove himself captain material and for his decision to try the age of absolutely and say yes to everything!

As an aside to this Judas is often depicted in Christian imagery with red hair - just like a certain reporter we all know and hate!!

The Resurrection

So we've all been screaming over the imagery of Buck hanging in the air and subsequently being lowered to the ground and into the arms of Bobby and how it fits into Christian imagery of Jesus being removed from the cross Like this one - 'Deposition' by Caravaggio

Deposition is one of the more famous paintings depicting this moment, but Christs removal from the cross is often depicted with the presence of ladders and the pose they have Buck in is also a commonly used one in the depiction of Christ's removal from the cross

such as this one by Rembrant;

or this one by Rubens

in both instances Christ is removed from the cross and into the arms of Joseph of Arimethea and we see the women of Christ (I hate that term but there we go!) both Mary Magdalene and his mother Mary in these paintings. Joseph was granted permission to bury Jesus - a feat normally undertaken by the father of the deceased. The fact that Joseph of Galilee wasn't present (when Mary was) suggests that he was already deceased.

you cannot convince me that this;

wasn't inspired by the above art! there are a couple of really interesting things about the fact we have Bobby very obviously in the position of Joesph of Arimethea. Joesph of Arimethea is taking on the role of father figure to Christ and we know Bobby has taken on the role of father figure to Buck. I'm also willing to put money on the person we can't see being Hen - thus representing the women. This will also likely be accompanied by Maddie being at Bucks bedside (and we might possibly see Margaret there as well in some capacity even if I start growling!!)

The thing with the crucifixion, deposition and subsequent resurrection is that they are the key turning point in the bible - they are the moment when the work Jesus has undertaken up to this point gains its importance and status - without his sacrifice at that moment, it is very possible Christianity (and Judaism and islam as well for that matter) may not exist!

If we break it down in 911 terms and look at where Buck is at right now and where he is headed it all ties in very interestingly with Jesus.

The pipeline is essentially the same

Jesus; betrayed - crucified - removed from the cross - resurrected.

Buck; Betrayed - crucified - removed from the ladder truck - resurrected (and in a coma before waking up)

We know Buck isn't going to actually die - that wouldn't serve the same purpose for the show that Christs death did in the bible. The outcome is the same though. Buck is going to die - temporarily and its going to land him in a coma, but hes going to die. and that is so important. Buck is at apoint where he needs to shed the 'Evan of it all. the saviour label is so firmly attached to Evan and at this point in time Buck cannot escape its clutches - he even leant into it with the sperm donation. Now though hes discovering leaning into hasn't actually helped or made him feel better.

Buck is still stuck with this saviour label attached to him - only the risk is that now its becoming attached to Buck as well - not just to Evan (Connor knows Buck from before - when he was still Evan remember). Bucks choice to become a sperm donor means the lines are becoming increasingly blurred between Evan and Buck. In order for Buck to learn and grow - for him to be able to move on and essentially become who he wants to be - who Buck is, he needs to not be Evan anymore, so that means some form of rebirth.

This is where the coma storyline is such a great narrative device as a representation of the resurrection - in his coma Buck will get to see who Evan would've been - without the Buck of it all. He'll discover that it's not all its cracked up to be in his head - that thats not who he is, who he wants to be or who he'll ever be and being that won't make him happy. It won't be straightforward, nor will he get there immediately (healing isn't linear but Buck is on that road finally), but he will be carrying that knowledge with him and that will help him figure out that Buck is loved and wanted in a way Evan never has been (with the exception of by Maddie), that he isn't spare parts in the way Evan is and he will be able to be resurrected as Buck.

We need to remember that Christ was resurrected 3 days after his death and then appeared to certain people (in particular the apostles but also to others) during the next 40 days. This is why I'm expecting Buck to be in a coma for 3 days.

This is in no way as coherent as I'd like it to be - I think I'll have to revisit when I'm not feeling quite so insane about the episode tonight!!

I don't think I've written this much on religion since I was in RE classes at school!! I find the use of religious imagery in modern media really interesting and 911 is really going all in with it! Anyway I hope you found it interesting and I'm sure I've left out a lot of stuff, but the important points are all there I think!

feel free to drop thoughts opinions etc in the tags or comments - I can't wait to read everyone else's good thoughts and ideas!

#this was a frantic slog to get done today with all the spoilers etc happening and distracting me from getting this done!#not my most coherent meta but its a good starting point I think #my brain is not letting me get out what I want to - I had more dots connected!!!#incoherent babbling!!#kym writes meta #resurrection meta #911 spoilers #evan buckley #911 on fox #buck #911onfox #911 fox

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thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog · 2 months

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911 Spoilers Season 4: You’ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episode 5: Buck Begins

Flash back to 1996. Maddie is teaching Buck how to ride a bike. He falls over a few times and has a scary almost accident with a car. To avoid the car Buck swerves out of the way and falls to the ground.

Maddie screams, the car honks, and it prompts the parents to run outside as Maddie is trying to comfort Buck. Buck calls out for his Mommy and she instead of taking over caring for Buck, is panicking over where they found the bike.

Buck and Maddie are still on the ground as Buck is crying and vocally saying “Ow”. Maddie explains she found the bike under a pile of Junk in the garage. They look over at the father and as he tries to explain, mom (Margaret) starts screaming no and running into the house.

Dad looks over at Maddie and starts to chastise her. Telling her she should have left it alone and instructing her to bring her brother back in the house. Phillip (the dad) grabs the bike as Maddie and Buck walk inside.

From this moment forward, I will be referring to Buck’s parents by their first names. I had written mom and dad in my notes, mostly because I didn’t pay attention to their names while watching the episode. They really piss me off as characters, especially as we learn more and more about their parenting choices. So I rather not continuously write Mom and Dad.

Maddie explains to Buck that Daniel was 8 years old when he died of leukemia. Daniel and Buck had a seven-year age gap, explaining why he wouldn’t have remembered Daniel.

Buck is confused as to why no one ever told him about Daniel. Maddie explains that shortly after his passing, their parent’s packed up all of Daniels things. They moved to a different city and made her promise to never mention Daniel to Buck.

Maddie further explaining that there where many moments that she wanted to tell him, but she did not know how. She also explains that their weird reaction and hiding Daniel’s death was their way of grieving and how they never stopped grieving.

Buck piecing together very quickly that he was only born as a last resort to try to save Daniel.

Buck leaves Maddie’s apartment in the middle of the conversation. He needs to process this information; he looks sad and defeated as he leaves.

Margaret is yelling at Maddie, trying to understand why she would tell Buck. Phillip is behind her with his arms crossed. Maddie explains that she told him, because she didn’t want Buck thinking it was his fault they were fighting.

Margaret telling Maddie it wasn’t her place and Maddie remind her that she isn’t a kid anymore. Phillip quickly defending Margaret and telling Maddie to watch her tone, that it wasn’t her fault. Maddie clarifying that it isn’t her fault either.

Phillip explaining that they didn’t have a choice. They had to pack up Daniel’s stuff and pretend he didn’t exist because of the judgement they were receiving for having Buck, in an attempt to save Daniel.

Margaret yelling at Maddie that she isn’t a mother yet, she doesn’t understand her pain and what a child’s death will do to you.

Maddie pointing out that she disappeared into her grief, leaving her and buck to fend for themselves.

1996: Buck is at the top of the stairs with a bloody knee. Maddie is walking around gathering supplies as Phillip and Margaret are arguing over the bike.

Phillip states, “ I just wanted one thing to remember him by.” Margaret responds, “We live with the reminder every day. Staring us in the face.”

That’s a truly fucked up way of viewing your son, it’s implied she’s talking about Buck.

Buck had run away from the top of the stair case as Maddie walks up them. Madie tends to Buck’s wound. Buck believes they are mad at him. Maddie tries to clarify that they aren’t mad just upset. We get the first instant where Maddie justifies an outburst as an over reaction that they will feel bad about later. (Poor Maddie, this shouldn’t have been the life lesson you learned)

Phillip calls Buck down, offering a new bike and ice cream. Buck making the unhealthy connection that by getting hurt, his parents will pay attention to him.

Montage of young Buck being reckless and getting hurt. Maddie caring for the wounds, and Phillip bringing over treats or Margaret bringing him breakfast in bed.

Buck is telling the 118 what he just learned about his upbringing. Eddie states, “This explains so much about you.” Hen concerned about how Buck even survived his childhood. Eddie pointing out it is a miracle he even survived yesterday.

Buck was always aware that he would put himself in dangerous situations to get their attention. He is now trying to process the new information about how they never really wanted him, they needed him for spare parts, but he only had “defective” parts. Eddie quickly and concerningly cut’s in and tells Buck, that that isn’t his fault. Buck states that he believes his parents do blame him. Eddie is taken back by the comment and is noticeably concerned about Buck.

Bobby and Hen cut in, reassuring Buck that he matters and how he needs to bring up these concerns to his parents. Buck dismissing those comments. Chimney walks in late, he wants to talk to Buck privately, but Buck reveals that he told the team the 118 the entire story already, no need to be secretive about it anymore. Chim apologizes for keeping the secret from him, Buck dismissing the apology, understanding that he didn’t really have a choice.

2004; Maddie drives buck to an unknown location to talk to Buck. Buck reveals he is grounded for forging his parent’s signature to try out for football. Maddie reveals she brought Buck to their old house, one that he doesn’t remember because he was a baby. Maddie is about to reveal the big secret, but Maddie gets a phone call from Doug. She answers and the call and the convo switches over.

Buck pointing out that it’s weird that Doug needs to know where she is all the time, and Maddie explains it as being sweet and that he cares for her. Maddie changing her crazy story to reveal Doug got accepted into medical school and that she is going with him.

Buck is cleaning the fire truck as Maddie appears behind him. She wants to make sure he is okay. Buck lashing out about feeling betrayed and alone. The alarm cuts the conversation short.

Hand sanitizer factory fire (gotta love the covid episodes); Eddie and Bobby join the 133 to search one side of the factory. Buck, Chim and Hen, are on the other team to search the other side. Chim approaches Buck, but Buck cuts him off and tells him not now. Buck looks upset and over everything. Chim makes it appoint to say he can’t keep running from this. Buck responds of course he can it is the Buckley family way.

2004; Margaret and Phillip learned that Maddie is leaving with Doug to Boston. Buck tries to defend Maddie, but is completely dismissed. He rides off on a bike as Maddie and his parents argue. He’s upset and crying.

The normal childhood bike turns into a motorcycle, with an older Buck riding, he’s visibly angry. Buck crashes into a car that was backing out of a driveway.

Side note, I know this scene is suppose to be serious, but the faces Buck makes paired with the obvious stunt man riding the bike, takes me out of the scene a bit.

Buck is one of the one to cut thru the doors and get access into the burning building. Buck locates multiple drums of flammable sanitizers and calls it over the radio. Buck and Chim scout possible paths to go find victims. Chimney’s path is not possible, Buck’s isn’t clear but doable.

Buck finds a door with victims inside, as they open up, and try to get people out, Bobby announces over the radio that he has also found people but the fire around them is getting worse, that they lost two guys. Buck volunteers himself to go find and help Bobby.

2012: Maddie is a nurse and Buck is injured in her ER, refusing to leave until he sees her. Buck admits to crashing his bike and needing Maddie’s help. Turns out he doesn’t need help because he was kicked out of college, for the second time.

Buck wants to stay with Maddie and Doug, to avoid staying at his parent’s place. Maddie being noticeably uncomfortable with the idea. Buck is assuming she’s uncomfortable because Doug hates him. This is when I noticed the cast on Maddie’s arm.

Buck is pleading with her because he doesn’t want to face his parent’s judgement. He admits that life with his parent’s has gotten worse since she’s left the house. Buck promises that he will be something, that he isn’t a loser.

Buck is walking through fire, redirecting his path as flames ingulf it. He climbs up a set of ladders as a full evacuation is called due to the loss of structural integrity. Buck calls out over the radio to say that one victim is still missing. Buck is unwilling to comprehend why they would leave someone behind. He ignores direct orders to evacuate and continues his search to find the one remaining victim by running directly thru fire away from a clear exit.

2012: Margaret calling Buck reckless. Screaming at him for being reckless, going off about how children die. Buck not understanding her point and how it has anything to do with the situation.

Maddie pulls in with a black jeep, Buck see’s her and runs out mid argument to go with her. They drive off.

Maddie pulling over on the side of the road, stepping out of the jeep and tossing Buck the keys. He’s confused by this. Maddie is offering Buck freedom, by gifting her car and a little bit of money. She’s telling him to go off, explore the world, don’t get stuck in their town.

Buck suggesting Maddie goes with him. They leave together, escape this life they have that he knows she’s unhappy in. Buck gives her speech back at her about the point being to just go. Maddie agrees to leave with Buck, she’s excited.

Buck is calling out, asking if anyone can hear him. He hears the victim and runs towards that direction. He finds the man and promises to get him out. As he’s guiding the man out, the path he used is ingulfed in flames. They need to turn around, and they are surrounded by flames.

2012; Buck shows up at the hospital, looking for Maddie. Maddie’s friend stops Buck, and Buck asks him if she knows where Maddie is. He hands Buck a letter written by Maddie. She explains that she can’t join him, that her life is with Doug and that she is sorry. Maddie wants him to find his place in the world and to never come back. Buck walks out of the hospital angry.

Buck finds a possible exit, but it requires walking up a platform, he instructs the victim, Saleh, to walk up the platform with him. As they climb up, the fire gets larger, there is an explosion that causes them to fall off, Buck hits his head.

2012: Buck is sending post cards to Maddie’s job, telling her of all of his adventures. He’s been doing odd jobs, up and down the East coast. Admits to not being that mad at her for not going with him. He admits to not finding his place yet and he misses her.

Proceeds a montage of Maddie receiving postcards from Buck. He finished Bartending school and is a mixologist in Virginia Beach. He shares with Maddie all the ups and down of his journey, revealing when he stopped bartending, his new relationship didn’t work out, and left being near the beach to work construction. We learned he moved to California and joined the Navy seals. We learn in the next post card that he left the Navy Seal, and became a rancher. He is headed to Peru, to be a bartender again.

Something I noticed about Maddie as she read the postcards was, she was always injured. At first it was subtle, like marks on her hands that were covered by her sweater, or bruising around her neck. The injuries just got progressively worse. I’ll admit to not noticing it right away, but when I went back they just became so visible.

2015: We meet Beach Ken, I mean Buck, bartending and watching a show about firefighters fighting an active fire. We meet Connor who invites him to go to LA. Explaining how much Buck would enjoy LA and Buck being very interested.

Buck is on the ground, unconscious. He slowly gets up and runs towards Saleh, who thanks Buck for attempting to save him. It’s obvious that Saleh has given up, he’s pinned down by a vat. Buck tries everything in his power to lift the vat off of him. Buck promises to get him out of there. The flames begin to surround them.

Bobby and Eddie walk up towards Chim and Hen. Chim asks them where Buck is. Bobby and Eddie confused, they thought he was with them. Hen explaining why they had split off. At that same moment Buck calls over the radio, revealing he found the last victim and didn’t evacuate. The 118 is not surprised by this.

Buck believes he is on the north east side of the building, but he specifies that he’s not sure. They start to send in help, and that’s when that side of the building explodes. Every one in the 118 looks at the direction of the explosion, their eyes are read concern and worry. Bobby looks the most panicked, with his eyes really bugging out.

2017: Buck is driving up to the 118 for his first day as a probationary firefighter. We learn he got the nick name Buck, because their where 3 other Evan’s in his class. Buck introduces himself to the 118, who are eating together. He asks for Captain Nash. Bobby joking with Buck, and then asking him to take a seat and join them for dinner. Buck receives a proper welcome into the 118, he feels like he’s found his place.

I realized that I never really pointed this out, but during the flash backs or when ever Maddie addressed Buck in front of their parents, she would call him Evan. His parents only call him Evan.

Buck starts to look around for a fire extinguisher, he spots it, but before going over to retrieve it, takes off his mask and gives it to Saleh, to help him breath. He says he’ll hold his breath as long as he can as he runs over to grab the fire extinguisher. He uses it until it’s empty at an attempt to fight off the flames that were surrounding them.

Saleh starts to lose consciousness as the sprinklers turn on, Buck feels a moment of relief. He gets up and starts to make shift a pully system with some rope. He pulls on the rope with all the energy he has left. He’s giving it his all, screaming and grunting as he pulls.

As he starts to give up and cry, Eddie grabs onto the rope, and the rest of the 118 pull up from behind. Buck gathering that he is not alone, gets his motivation back and helps pull the vat off of Saleh. They make process and I believe Hen is the one to pull Saleh from underneath the vat and towards safety. We get a close up of Buck and he looks like he’s just processing the moment.

Outside, Buck is sitting on the ambulance. Bobby is asking him if he’s alright as Hen is there observing him. Buck admitting that he was lost, that it took only a matter of two seconds for him not to know where her was.

Hen vocalized that no one was surprised by the fact that he stayed in there. It was said in a tone of reassurance. Buck admits to almost giving up, and if it wasn’t for them, he may have. Hen cuts him off and states that they were there, not letting Buck go into the what ifs. Buck looks like he’s ready to cry.

Athena walks over to Buck, where Bobby reveals to her that Buck was the one to pull out the last victim. She’s not surprised by the news. Buck admits to needing to be rescued by everyone else. Athena states, “I’m sure whoever you saved is just glad you were being Buck.”

Buck reveals that he isn’t sure what she means by that. Taking the comment almost like an insult. Athena clarifies that she means he never gives up. And that he should never stop being Buck.

Buck smiles slightly at the comment, processing this moment.

Eddie is the first to greet Buck at the entrance of the 118. Bobby reveals that Buck is healthy and cleared by the doctors. Eddie looks so happy at this moment. Bobby walks off and Bucks stops in front of Eddie.

Eddie calls Buck a show off. Buck responding with, he had to do it. Eddie looking deeply into Buck’s eyes, says “I know you did” in the softest tone. Eddie reveals that Buck has some visitors and stays behind as Buck heads upstairs, slightly confused.

Margret and Phillip are sitting at the table upstairs. As Buck comes up, Phillip stands up to address him. Phillip revealed that the other fire fighters told them a lot of stories about Buck. Margaret pointing out that they really seem to think highly of him. As he’s processing their words, Buck admits to liking them too. Margaret and Phill look at each other awkwardly.

Okay so I know the other firefighters they spoke to implies that they likely spoke to Hen, Chim, and other random firefighters at the station about him. But from what we as the viewer can see, and the fact that I do not see Hen, Chim, or any random extras roaming around. I can assume most of their conversation was had with Eddie. Buck is likely assuming the same. So by following this formula, Eddie was gushing over Buck to his parents. His parents made the assumption that Eddie likes Buck. Buck revealed to them that he likes him back. I’m allowed to be delusional, don’t ruin this for me.

Margert reveals that she doesn’t know where to start. Buck takes that moment and apologizes about Daniel. Margaret and Phill are shocked at the mention of Daniel’s name. Buck sympathizes with them and admits to not understanding that kind of pain.

Phil tries to interject, calls Buck, Evan. Buck stops him and corrects him. Telling him that Buck is his name. Phillip corrects himself, and proceeds to tell Buck that he was never blamed for Daniels passing. Buck vocalizes that he wished he could have done more.

Marget states, “You were born to save someone and that’s what you do.” She reveals that they are proud of him.

I’ll admit Marget’s line was cute, but where was their apology. They asked for forgiveness but never really apologized.

Buck walks down stairs to the locker, where Chimney asks how the conversation went. Buck reveals that everything went okay, prompting Chim to ask about Buck’s relationship with Maddie. Buck wants to dismiss the conversation at that point. Basically, admitting to still being upset with Maddie.

Chim stating if you are able to forgive your parents, you have to find a way to forgive Maddie. Buck being held up on the fact that Maddie didn’t tell him. Buck has his forehead resting against the locker, in a sense looking defeated as he states that. Chimney defending her choice, revealing why she didn’t tell him, trying to avoid Buck feeling unwanted.

Buck telling Chimney that he was unwanted and unloved. Chim telling him, that he was loved, specifically by Maddie. Buck not believing that, because Maddie was the one to send him away, and didn’t go with him to find freedom. Chim reveals to Buck the real reason why she didn’t go with him and how Doug really hurt her and how she never wanted him to know.

Buck showing up with Chim to the apartment. Maddie surprised to see Buck there. Buck slowly closes the door behind him. He tells her how their parents showed up at the fire house and how he forgave them. Buck explains it wasn’t difficult to forgive them, because it is hard to feel betrayed by someone you wouldn’t count on.

He proceeds to acknowledge how easy it is to lash out on the person that will forgive you. Buck proceeds to talk about how his life could have been completely different if he had known the truth.

He asks Maddie to tell him more about Daniel, because he knows he can’t ask his parents.

Maddie pulls out all of the post cards he’s ever sent her. Revealing she’s kept every single one of them. Montage of Maddie and Buck growing up and being there for each other.

I want to take this time to compare Eddie Begins and Buck Begins. Eddie begins is about his young adult life and navigating being a new father, the army, and being a spouse. Buck begins is about Buck’s entire life, from discovering the reason why he was born, why he was neglected, and navigating the world. They both come from difficult families, but Buck’s upbringing pisses me off a lot. I dislike Eddie’s parents, but I don’t hate them. It’s probably because I didn’t get to see Eddie’s situation growing up, I’ve only heard Eddie’s retellings. I actually got to witness Buck’s parents fail him that’s likely why I feel so strongly about them. I love that in both Eddie Begins and Buck Begins, we do get to see at least a little bit of how Buck and Eddie care for each other. It was of course more dramatic it Eddie’s story, but still very much visible in Buck’s story.

#buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck x eddie #911 spoilers #911 show #911 #evan buckley #911 on abc #911 rewatch #evan ‘buck’ buckley #maddie buckley #buckley diaz family #diaz buckley family #eddie x buck

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princessamericachavez · 1 year

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okay so i’ve been thinking nonstop about this post by @anxieteandbiscuits pointing out how everything about Buck and Eddie’s arcs is eventually tying back up to Buck’s couch because it was stablished in the very first episode this season and the show was telling us where it was taking these characters this time around. Which got me thinking about what we saw stablished in that first ep and how showed us what the last couple eps of the season would give us.

So we got Bobby and Athena, right? And we had a very clear reminder that Bobby struggles with his sobriety every day through his insistence to stay busy at the cruise to avoid temptation at the 11 bars. Which eventually lead to more about his history with AA, Wendell and Bobby’s struggles. We also had that last scene of the episode with Athena’s parents, connecting to her past. If we take ep2 of the season into account, we are also seeing a nod at Athena’s past loss and, through her mother’s own fear of losing her father, her fear of grief and losing another partner like her first fiancé. Which will probably come to a head in the finale after the 6x17 setup.

For Hen? We saw her struggle with her work-life balance. Trying to juggle med school, a job and her family. And we saw, clearly, that what she was neglecting was her interpersonal relationships. We see this when she misses her lunch date with Athena and still accepts more responsibility as interim captain from Bobby. Later, in the second episode (because I really do feel like the first two episodes this season were a single arc setting up the upcoming storylines) we see this further pushed when Karen calls Hen out for forgetting to pick her son up, and Hen breaking down because she failed her tests and feels like a failure after the Happiness Convention death. We saw Hen struggle with balance between all these sides of her life through the rest of 6a and it was solved by the end. (I do wish the show’d let her go on with this throughout the entire season because it feel like they ran out of things for Hen in 6b and recycled the biodad thing, but that’s a complaint for another day)

Then, for Chimney and Maddie, we had the big decision of Maddie moving back in with him, of them being a family again, we had Chim’s fear of being left behind and Maddie being the one to take the necessary steps to reassure him that she’s not going anywhere. All that? Yep, set up for the proposal! We’ve seen a huge advancement on their relationship this season and it was pretty clearly telegraphed in the very first episode!

Now, Eddie’s arc this season has been rather understated, probably because he went through so much in s5. However, rewatching 6x01 I was very curious to see that Eddie mentions Shannon for the first time in a good while that episode! When Chimney is talking about running out on Maddie the morning after their “one night stand”, Eddie recalls that he had Shannon sneak out to avoid Christopher catching her in his bed and he talks about how hhis vere was using Chris as an excuse to protect his heart. It sounds very familiar, right? So curiously enough, while we didn’t see much of his loneliness arc play out in 6a, it was lightly stablished (and probably expanded through him going through so many milestones with Chris this season, with the wanting to do things on his own and his first crush, both signaling that Chris is growing up and Eddie can’t devote himself to his son 100% of the time anymore to avoid getting hurt again).

Which finally leads us to Buck and his very clear pursuit of happiness. Which, curiously, begins with his desire to be considered for interim captain. Which is nothing weird, we know Buck wishes, more than anything, to be seen as worthy (of respect, of love, of a home, of a family). I don’t think we’ve talked enough about how the couch theory connects directly with Buck wanting to be a captain. To the point where twice he asks if not having a couch is an issue for it. Now, keep in mind, Buck drew a very clear correlation between couches and relationships and his fear of making the wrong choice again. The conversation also has some curious nods about having what you want “right under your nose but refusing to see it”. Uh... Anywayyyyy the second ep of the season hammered this down with the Happiness Convention and how clearly it affected Buck, how badly he craves that answer and that peace. When Bobby talks to Buck about being at ease as per AA standards, he does mention that it requires being able to look the world in the eye and being ok alone, but since we already saw Buck in his single chair for a while and ok with that decision until the wrong couch (and likely the wrong relationship) were brought to him by his death experience, I don’t thing his “happy ending” will be solitude.

Now, on a final sidenote, I will say that I could be inclined to deny the correlation between the Diaz’s and Buck’s search for a couch if it wasn’t for 6x12. Because, before that, there was little to no mention of Buck’s lack of couch (as opposed to the constant nods to his search for happiness and meaning and the whole donor plot). But after 6x11 made a BIG point of reminding us about the theory and how Buck sees it, and then 6x12 did THAT with Eddie’s couch, only to later double down on it in 6x15 with Christopher... I think whatever the answer to this theory is HAS to be somehow related to Chris and Eddie. Whether it’ll be in a romantic manner or a familial one or simply just stating that Buck’s found happiness and peace with them... remains to be seen tomorrow. But they’ve definitely set up the story to go there (or clowned me hard with deceptive storytelling which would annoy me to no end).

Anyway, that’s my long winded analysis just to say that I love how this show has stablished so many things since the first episode of the season and I’m really looking forward to see where they take us in the finale.

#911 fox #911 spec #but not really #is mainly analysis #buddie

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lover-of-mine · 8 months

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Okey I loved you mega about how Eddie feel first and then this line happened “Well, Buck will never figure it out on his own. “ and know is haunting me ! Because is so true even if buck suspected he will do his best to ignore the possibility of it ,he would be so adjusted so used to feel the way he does to Eddie that he doesn’t realize is more than a friendship is his home and safety line and what that means and it truly makes me wonder what type of slap would be needed for him to finally realize and be like oh and also i believe it would be a “oh fuck “ kind of situation he would absolutely panic about it and try to avoid because is Eddie and he is constant and there’s no way he is risking that , is just so ahhhhh so many things about them that make me insane

Meta in question

No but like I have a whole list of reasons as to why Buck will never look too closely at his relationship with Eddie going from he is bad with emotions (he is okay? he's good with easily identifiable ones, and he's loud about them the rest, not so much) to his abandonment issues make him scared to want too much from any situation in case he reads it wrong. Buck never had a stable person he could rely on no matter what before Eddie and I think he genuinely thinks that what they have is a really strong friendship because he has nothing to compare it with. I have no idea what it would take for Buck to go "oh shit" sometimes I think it would literally take someone saying the words "you're in love with Eddie" or "Buck, Eddie is in love with you" for him to stop and look at it. Because Buck never had an example of what love looks like. His parents were too caught up on their grief, Maddie and Doug is its own can of worms, he didn't have a serious relationship up until he was 26 and before that he kept searching for connection through sex and he held on with all he had to the first woman who he felt was seeing something more on him. And Eddie is the one person he loves who never left him. Even during the lawsuit, Buck left Eddie not the other way around. When Eddie left the 118 he made an effort to ensure Buck knew he was leaving the job not him. And the thing I love the most about the A fell first B fell harder trope, is when A is settled into their feelings for so long thinking they can't be reciprocated that they are better managing them while B is vibrating out of their skin because of how intense everything is once it hits them. And I think that would be Buck. I think the second Buck realizes there's something more between them there would be no containing it. He would lose it a little. But he would also panic. Losing Eddie means losing Christopher and that's the worst case scenario Buck would definitely jump to. That Eddie would hate him, want space, never want to see him again, keep Buck away from him and Chris, and all that catastrophizing Buck does. Because he would also automatically assume Eddie can never feel the same even though Eddie has been waiting for Buck to catch up for years.

It's also part of why I want to Buck to start their relationship if we ever get to that point. I think he needs to identify his feelings and trust Eddie is gonna be there with him and just do something about it. Because he never went for love on his own and it would be good for him, to be the one pursuing someone. Also because Eddie is absolutely ready to take the secret of how much he loves Buck to his grave (kinda poetic kinda tragic that Eddie settled into that state of mind after a conversation in a cemetery) and he will definitely not do anything about it no matter what.

#thank you for reading that insanity kspamapalapalpaka #i have many thoughts #those men are always pingponging around my read as i try to make sense of the way they do stuff #but you're right #eddie is constant and buck would lose it at the chance of losing him #they make me insane #911 #buddie #buddie thoughts #911 meta

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gayhoediaz · 1 year

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my atlantis, we fall

G | 1.2k | 6.10 coda/6.11 spec | ao3

We were supposed to have more time.

The words echo through his brain, sharp with sadness. With loss. With grief.

But the words don’t echo in his head as he’s climbing up the ladder.

The words don’t echo as he lowers Buck down, nor as he - somehow - manages to bring his own feet back onto the ground.

The words don’t echo as he elbows his way to the gurney, or as Bobby grabs him and tells him with a sharp tone that he’s driving.

A tone that says; you can’t be in there with him. A tone that says; we all love him. Everyone is fighting for him.

A tone that says; It's different for you, though.

A tone that says; I see you.

A tone that says; I know.

The words don’t echo as the rain pours onto the windshield, and they don’t echo as he brings the engine to a stop in front of the hospital.

The words don’t echo in his head as he throws himself out and gets to Buck - they don’t echo in his head as they get his shirt open, and they don’t echo as he runs alongside the gurney, Buck’s ribs cracking and breaking beneath his hands as he fights heaven and earth, as he prays to someone beyond them both; prays - begs - for Buck to come back to him.

No. That’s all chaos.

Eddie is terrified, and frantic - but he’s not sad. There’s no time.

Even as he busts through the glass doors, and as he feels two different hands on him, one on either shoulder, keeping him back - keeping him steady - as Buck’s gurney disappears into the distance - he’s not sad.

Scared. Helpless.

Torn apart - yes.

Not sad.

Sad doesn’t even come hours later as he’s sinking down into the uncomfortable chair next to Buck’s hospital bed, nor as he allows his eyes to wander over his face.

So pale. So expressionless.

So dead.

He’s not.

He was, though. He was dead.

But he’s not.

Those are the words that do echo through Eddie’s head.

He’s not dead.

So Eddie is not sad because sad means grief and grieving means you lost something and Eddie hasn’t lost Buck.

Buck is not gone.

Buck is not dead.

Eddie is not sad.

Sad doesn’t come until about forty eight hours later.

Sad doesn’t come until Eddie is standing four and a half feet behind Christopher, his arms crossed over his chest to keep from reaching out for his son.

Not because he doesn’t want to - but because Christopher needs this. Needs to do this alone - even if Eddie is in the room.

Sad doesn’t come until he hears his son’s soft voice, his words far more mature and brave than any twelve year-old should ever be capable of.

‘You promised me, Buck. Remember? You promised me you’re not going anywhere. So you can’t. Because you’re not a liar. You have never lied to me, and I know you wouldn’t break a promise like that. So you’re coming back to us, I know you are.’

Chris has spent many of the past forty eight hours crying. Eddie has too. They have spent many hours crying. Together.

Chris is not crying now, though. At least not a lot.

And Eddie’s heart breaks over it. He wishes so badly that his son would scream and cry and thrash - that he wasn’t a veteran when it comes to losing people. No twelve year-old should know how to handle the pain of facing the possibility of having people torn away from them.

So sad finally arrives.

Eddie feels sad as he watches Chris’ small hand cup Buck’s, the contrast of the large, still fingers so incredibly kafkaesque in the cold, harsh light of the hospital room.

Eddie feels sad as he allows Chris’ voice to fade into a faint whisper, and Eddie feels sad as he watches the way in which Buck’s eyes move beneath his eyelids.

He’s trying. Fighting.

Eddie knows he is. Buck is fighting to come back to them. To Christopher. To Maddie. To Jee. To Chim, to Hen, to Bobby, to Athena, to Karen - probably even to Denny, and May, and Harry, and the unnamed fetus with his borrowed genetic material. To said fetus' biological grandparents who never deserved a fraction of Buck's beautiful heart (and never will - not that Eddie would ever necessarily steal himself the right to voice that thought out loud).

To people he hasn’t even met yet.

Buck is fighting to come home.

To all of them.

To him.

That's who he is.

Buck is never not going to fight.

Buck is not dead, and yet Eddie mourns.

Eddie mourns as he watches Buck’s chest move up and down, knowing full well that he’s not doing it on his own.

Eddie mourns as he watches Christopher squeeze Buck’s giant hand in his own.

Eddie mourns when Christopher turns to him, blonde hair covering half of his red-rimmed eyes as he looks up at him.

‘Dad, do you have your medal? My medal?’

Eddie does have it.

It’s been in his pocket for the past twenty four hours - since Bobby made him go home for a nap and a shower that never came to fruition.

He took it out of his nightstand, and he’s kept it in his fist.

He’s been clutching it with enough force that he thinks he can feel a permanent outline begin to form in the grasp of his palm.

He’s been clutching.

Praying.

Begging.

Pleading.

Eddie mourns as he takes it out, and pours the chain into Christopher’s open palm.

Eddie mourns as he watches his small, brave son take a step closer to the bed.

Eddie mourns as he watches Christopher fiddle with the clasp until he gets it open - as he watches him place it around Buck’s neck - close it, and adjust it slightly until the small charm rests in the hollow of his throat, the gold somehow stark against his pale skin.

So pale.

Dead.

No.

Not dead.

Buck is not dead, and Christopher is not seven anymore.

Christopher is not seven.

Eddie knows that his son does not believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

Eddie knows that his son doesn’t believe in ghosts, or psychics.

And as far as the one illusion that every child should be entitled to?

The illusion of immortality?

That was wiped away a long time ago.

The illusion of his own immortality.

The illusion of the immortality of the people who love him the most, the immortality of the people who make him feel safe.

The immortality of his heroes.

Gone.

Gone before Eddie thinks he ever even really got to have it.

Yet -

‘Dad says this kept him safe so that he could come home. You need it now. So that you can come home to us.’

And Eddie mourns.

Eddie mourns, and mourns, and mourns.

We were supposed to have more time.

All of us.

We're supposed to have more time.

#buddie #911 fox #coda #writing tag #buck x eddie

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heckinconfusedparade · 1 year

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You asked. You shall receive:

Since I haven't really seen this ever, what about Knuckles finally allowing himself to feel and to cry over something. He tries to hide it, thinking the rest of them will be ashamed of him or look down on him......but instead, the rest of the Wachowskis work together to just be there for him and show him they're not ashamed of him or disappointed in him, and it's okay to feel and to cry, they love him and they always will, and nothing will change that. Ever.

Grief Sucks

It never mattered how many years have passed, or if Knuckles has a new family who loves and takes care of him. Grief always finds a way to come swinging when you least expect it.

Knuckles loves his new family dearly, but.. he still misses his tribe. His father. He misses playing with the teenage Echidnas and training to become the strongest he can be.

If it weren’t for Maddie making it clear in the beginning that Knuckles is allowed to miss the family he had before, he would feel even more terrible longing for that life he had before. He still feels guilty. He has all he could want now, why does he feel like he needs more?

Knuckles knows it isn’t his fault, and Sonic knows it isn’t his fault what happened that fateful day where they lost everything. They’ve stopped blaming each other.

But still.. now Knuckles finds himself in his room in his basement clutching the small leafy headpiece his father had given him before leaving for war. It no longer fits him, and it hasn’t for years. Knuckles sniffles and holds it to his chest. He hates to cry. He’s supposed to be the strong warrior who never falters. An unmoving unstoppable force of extraterrestrial nature. Unfortunately his feelings are not something he can stop. Knuckles softly begins to cry. He doesn’t dare let out his inner pain and turmoil, because he doesn’t want to risk his brothers hearing him.

Turns out, it’s not his brothers he had to worry about. He hears scratching at the door on the top of the stairs. He hears the door open and Tom yelling that Ozzy is coming down. Ozzy charges down the steps to Knuckles. He jumps up onto his bed and lays down, putting his head in Knuckles’ lap. Ozzy looks at him and let’s out a sigh. Knuckles smiles a little and pets the dog “..you’d never judge me, Oz.” Knuckles and Ozzy have formed a really good bond. Ozzy suddenly lifts his head and starts giving Knuckles some puppy kisses, licking away his tears.

The sweetness of the gesture makes him cry a little more. Then he hears some shuffling beside him. He turns his head and Tails is there. “Knuckles..?” Tails has never seen his big brother cry before. Tails’ ears and tails droop. Knuckles quickly wipes away his tears “hello, Tails.” Tails hops up onto the bed next to Knuckles “are you crying?” He asks. Knuckles shakes his head and hides his face because his emotions are betraying him. Tails thinks for a moment and leaves.

Knuckles sighs. Tails is about to become a tattle tails. The entire family shows up and they’re all immediately showing concern.

Maddie sits next to Knuckles and puts her arm around him, pulling him close “what’s wrong, baby..?” Knuckles mumbles in response. Sonic now understands “…you miss them, don’t you…?” Knuckles nods slowly.

Knuckles looks at his parents “I am sorry you have to see me like this.” Tom gives him a confused look “why are you sorry? Knuckles.. it’s ok to cry. It’s always ok.”

Knuckles’ vision gets cloudy again as his eyes fill with tears “but.. but I’m supposed to be strong. I have to carry on the legacy of my tribe, and make my father proud. I know what you told me.. but it still feels wrong.”

Maddie leans her cheek on her boys head “Knuckles, it isn’t wrong. You had a family before us. They were taken away unfairly. You’re allowed to mourn them. Being strong isn’t about keeping everything in. Being strong is facing these challenges with honesty and not bottling it up. And you don’t have to be strong alone anymore.”

Knuckles takes her words in. He clings to her and let’s everything out. His family gathers around him to hug him, Ozzy included.

Everyone cries with him, even Sonic.

“Sonic, I have a question.” Knuckles gives his brother a serious look.

“What’s up?” Sonic asks.

“How did you ever stop hurting?” Knuckles asks, taking Sonic off guard. Sonic looks at him shocked. He smiles and shrugs “I never stopped hurting.”

“Then how come I’ve never seen you cry?” Knuckles asks.

Sonic crosses his arms “I’m not a very emotional guy. I don’t cry a lot.”

Tails pipes up “you cry in your sleep sometimes.” Sonic has a moment of realization “wait, is that why I sometimes wake up to you in my bed??” Tails nods. Sonic laughs “I though I was slick!”

Tom and Maddie take the time to remind them that they don’t have to cry alone. But if they want privacy, that’s ok. “We love you boys no matter what, and we will continue to love you until the end of time. Got that?” Tom asks. The boys nod.

The trio feels so lucky. They won the orphan lottery!

Knuckles and Sonic plan to go back to their home planet to visit where they grew up. They’re gonna start healing together.

#man I nearly cried making this one #sonic the hedghog movie #sonic the hedgehog #sonic 2 #knuckles the echidna #movie knuckles #knuckles wachowski #miles tails prower #tails the fox #movie tails #sonic #movie sonic #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #ozzy wachowski

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chthonic-cassandra · 6 months

Text

Tagged by @awildwickedslip

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

111

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

312,131

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write a little across a lot of fandoms. The only fandoms for which I have written substantial amounts are Dracula, Greek mythology, and Shakespeare's plays. I have active projects right now in Dracula, Xena, and Penny Dreadful.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shattered Mirrors (Jonathan in Dracula's castle), Make It Through the Wintertime (Hadestown Persephone character study), To Burn the Castle Down (Jonathan angst), Compromise (Dracula darkest timeline AU), Minor Initiations (different Dracula darkest timeline AU)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I have been trying to get in the habit of it. I think it's nice to express my appreciation and try to be a bit more social about all of it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a hard question; so, so many of the things I write are angsty. Specifically as far as endings, I am realizing that an extremely high proportion of my stories end with a character aware that they are about to die or that something else terrible is about to happen to them, and in some way accepting it. This is of course tragedy but I'm not sure it is quite angst.

Outside of this pattern, I think that To Burn the Castle Down is almost over the top angsty (it's not one I like to reread), as is For Every Grief That's Offered (yet another Dracula darkest timeline AU). Both are from ~15 years ago, and I would write them differently now.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ha. Do I write happy endings? Sometimes I do bittersweet hopefulness, of which I think Fidelity (poly Mina post-canon) and Still in the Realm of the Sun (Code Name Verity Julie/Maddie fix it) lean most heavily on the sweet side. The Caucus-Race (Alice in Wonderland, the Dodo enters politics) is legitimately happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face for a long time, at least not in a serious way.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not much. Many years ago I did a couple - a Dracula-Greek mythology and a Dracula-Vampire Chronicles, and also a little Nosferatu-Pied Piper of Hamelin which is the only one of those still up.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes - someone translated Foreigners (Aida, Amneris character study) into Mandarin. There might have been another but I don't remember it.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, though I once told @forthegothicheroine I would and then bailed on her, for which I continue to feel some guilt

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

To write, certainly Mina/Dracula/Jonathan. But that's not from an actually shipping it perspective. What I tend to write and what I ship when reading or watching something aren't all that related.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mood, imagery, psychological interiority, small-scale structure/pace

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut, happy endings, writing anything long form

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it in a language that I didn't myself know, and the only non-English language I know well enough to do that in is ancient Greek, which I guess I could use somewhere but it hasn't felt necessary. Several installments of Compromise have important scenes of switching between languages so I've thought about it, but keeping all the text in English let me do a particular language-related reveal in this last installment which pleased me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Either Lord of the Rings or Phantom of the Opera

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Right now it has to be Compromise as a whole, but this is hard. There are a lot of other things I've written that haven't gotten as much attention as that one but which are very dear to me, but as a series Compromise means so much to me at the moment.

Too tired right now to tag anyone, but please consider yourself tagged if you'd like to do it!

#on writing #my writing #awildwickedslip #fan fiction

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honorarybuckley · 2 years

Text

buck fundamentally doesn’t understand what love is and that stems directly from his parents of course. love isn’t whatever he witnessed between his grief stricken parents. love isn’t taking you out for ice cream and giving you scraps of affection each time you get hurt. love is stepping up and taking on the role of a parent at the age of ten not because you have to but because you care about the well being of this other little human and you’re willing to do anything for them. but i don’t think buck truly grasps the intention behind maddie’s love.

those misunderstandings have bled into his adult life in many ways. to him the firefam don’t love him for who he is, they love him because he’s there and a part of their family for at least as long as they work together. once they start to move on he’s sure he’ll be left behind. using his body in any way he can will earn people’s attention and affection, whether it’s sex, stunts, or sperm. and romantic love is coming home to the same person every night, living your life alongside theirs, and messily trying to mesh the two together.

he’s been given important lessons along the way of course, bobby telling him to step in and be there for another person being one, and mitchell’s you don’t find it you make it being another. but those haven’t been enough to rewrite the lessons of his childhood trauma that formed his definition of love. he’s done both of those things with eddie and yet he’s still blind to his true feelings.

buck wears his heart on his sleeve and he loves big but i don’t think he will understand how to truly love anyone until he understands what it means to be loved. if he wants to find the love he’s been searching his whole life for he’ll have to learn to accept it.

#hope this makes sense i wrote it in the middle of the night #evan buckley #christine.txt

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phantomoftheorpheum · 1 year

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i think the reason mr martin collected all the objects was because he was studying the students death to see how to crossover. now i don’t know if he actually wants them to crossover or to be stuck with him in the school forever and that’s why he’s keeping their stuff from them. i agree with you on maddie maybe not coming back to life in her body because she literally said ‘my mom killed my spirit’ and janet knocked it out of her so how would she ever get it back? i just really want them to keep her actually dead and not have this all be for nothing.

Yeah, it sounds like we're on the same page about things. I just wonder how Mr. Martin seems to be exempt from a lot of the ghost rules? He was able to lock doors & keep journals without those things resetting? I suppose the things he collected that belonged to the other ghosts were things they had on them when they died (like the ball from Wally's game), so those items are exempt, but unless Mr. Martin was carrying a big stack of notebooks, those should reset? He clearly has some abilities that make him exempt from the rules, but I really wonder what the extent of that is. And I'm definitely very interested to learn what his ultimate goal is.

I've been trying to figure out how to explain why Maddie's "death" being a real death feels important to me... I want to say, firstly, that I'm not against happy endings in general. In fact, I feel really strongly that something is not inherently more profound just because it's sad, and it bothers me that we often treat it that way. My favorite endings are usually ones that are hopeful, but not completely tied up in a big happy bow. That being said, when done well, I love a good tragedy and I love a good happily-ever-after. I'm not a big fan of literary suffering purely for the sake of suffering. So it's not that I'm automatically against a happy ending. I just feel that it's really important to make sure that your ending, whatever your ending, feels genuinely earned. Obviously, that's subjective. For me, one thing that can make an ending feel cheapened is undermining the weight of death. Personally, I feel that the show actively asked me to emotionally engage in the concept of Maddie's death and carried that through pretty much every element in the show (the mystery, her relationships from her life, her relationships from her afterlife, etc.), so if she gets some kind of "get out of jail free" card, it makes so many of those tragic but beautiful moments (like when Maddie realizes that her mother living on false hope isn't good/fair) feel hollow. I worry, with Maddie's body being okay, that the show might choose to take the direction of this being an experience that makes Maddie & those around her really appreciate life, rather than an exploration of grief/loss/death. While that's not a bad story to tell, it's not the one I was invested in, and I personally don't feel that it is as fitting to the concept/tone of the show, or as complex or interesting. But, of course, that's my opinion & I'm sure there are people who completely disagree.

Regardless, I really hope we get to see a season 2 and see where these writers choose to take this story!

#ask #answered #anon #school spirits #school spirits spoilers #school spirits 1x08 spoilers #maddie nears #i hope y'all have your spoiler filters on because this one is full of them #also srry if i took this further in a direction than necessary #i've just been trying to figure out how to explain this

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rainbow-beanie · 1 year

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*breaks down door* WHAT’S UP PHANTOM!! I’m wondering if anyone has some headcanons about Danny’s ice powers, since the show had sadly been discontinued before we could find out anymore lore about the ghosts and their cores. Anything from funny headcanons, sad ones, or happy ones! any that either has something involving ice cores, or even headcanons about what ghost core danni has, since I’ve recently heard of a headcanon that she may have a water core, since the last time we saw her, she was melting cause something was wrong with either her ghost core, body, or maybe she was low on ectoplasm, and that’s why she was melting.

Basically anything revolving around ghost Biology, and how it could effect Danny since he’s a halfa. And speaking of halfa’s, y’all could even share any vlad headcanons that you have or heard of! Even though I have a feeling that phandom could be be a little split about liking him vs thinking he’s a scrunklely that desperately needs therapy (which may or may not be me. but that’s beside the point-) or both.

Like what was his life like after the accident that turned him into a halfa? Did he have anyone else that was there for him, that he either pushed away in his moment of grief from in his eyes loosing Jack and Maddie, his closest friends? Or did they leave him too, or had perished cause of vlad accidentally or purposely killing them in the time he was getting used to his powers?

*looks at vlad underneath a microscope* this little shit can fit so many theories and headcanons.

….I may or may have gotten carried away, but what I’m trying to say is that I’d like to hear any headcanons you have about these three, or halfa biology in general.

#Danny phandom #ghost biology #ghost halfa biology #danny fenton #danni fenton #vlad master #vlad plasmius #danny phandom headcanons #danny phantom ghost biology headcanons #*makes grabby hands* gimmie please. i just want a little nibble #*definitely not lying /j*

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outrunningthedark · 1 year

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Right there with ya on the way people label the Buckley’s grief as wrong! Yes, impact does matter, but sometimes you have to take into account intent. This doesn’t mean the Buckley’s haven’t done anything wrong and there is no reason for their kids to be upset with them. There is. There are many reasons for them to be upset. But it also doesn’t mean they can’t be forgiven. They can’t do better. Or that Buck and Maddie shouldn’t want them in their lives. Maddie and Buck both realize this. They both realize why their parents were the way they were. It’s even been said, they weren’t bad people BY MADDIE. It’s like these people just want Buck to kick his parents to the curb and say “ya know what, fuck off and fuck you.”

[TL;DR. This always happens with this story line. Oof.] It’s like these people just want Buck to kick his parents to the curb and say “ya know what, fuck off and fuck you.” - This is the heart of it, for sure, and I can definitely understand the fandom (made up of younger viewers compared to the GA) wanting to have their own complicated feelings towards their parents validated; there's plenty of people who have that "I'd cut you if I could, but you're my ____ and it's not that easy" mindset - myself included! Being physically disabled means *having* to depend on people that didn't/don't always like me. But the redemption arc isn't the problem. It's that Kristen didn't follow up on that family dynamic for TWO YEARS. She didn't accidentally come to the conclusion that the Buckleys should to be better the next time around. She made a deliberate choice not to even give them a mention for TWO YEARS so the audience could get a status update and be more prepared for the version of the Buckleys we would see in 6x10. Her explanation was that 4x06 (the therapy detail) clued us in to the effort happening off-screen: "They've spoken on the show about Buck and his parents trying to do some therapy. And so we just wanted to revisit those parents and see how that relationship with their children has progressed." I don't know what's going to happen with the Buckley parents a year from now, but if even Oliver has no current reason to assume things are gonna go to shit (and he's gotten all the scripts) - "Just because their relationship has been so fractured in the past doesn’t mean that there’s no room for reconciliation, and certainly seems to me like they’re on a path moving forward now where they can slowly start to build a really healthy parent-child relationship" - then I'm sticking with *my* current belief that this story line isn't about the parents as much as it is a (definitive) shift in the story and a lesson on not taking time for granted: - Buck and Maddie are no longer those little kids trying to live up to their parents' expectations, trying to do everything "right" to earn their approval. Holding onto that pain is not going to help them be the best versions of themselves. Buck cannot fully embrace self-love and self-worth if he still dwells on whether his parents regret his birth. Maddie can't raise a daughter to the best of her ability with Margaret's voice in her head making her second-guess her capabilities/decisions. These are their lives and they're finally taking control. - What Oliver said relates to my second point, that the show makes a habit of using the parent-child relationships to say "It's never too late to change." You don't have to hold on to grudges. You don't have to keep hate in your heart. And you certainly shouldn't act as though there's "no point" in reconciliation just because the thought of confrontation or showing vulnerability scares the crap out of you. If mending fences is important (as it appears to be for the Buckley sibs' peace of mind) then...take a chance before there's no time left. (Buck forgiving his parents NOW is because his subconscious feared he was dying. It might have been his only chance.) And ftr (because I feel like this is also part of where the annoyance stems from) I'm gonna repeat that unless the Buckley parents become mains - which they won't! - the standards aren't changing, and this episode told us that. Buck forgave his parents in an episode where the father-son dynamic between he and Bobby was on full display. That's still who he's gonna go to when he needs advice because Bobby is a CONSTANT presence, Bobby will ALWAYS be able to understand Buck in a way that Phillip cannot because of the years that family lost to trauma. Choosing not to revolve his life around the ways his bio parents did him wrong/influenced his behavior does not and will not in any way lessen or alter the already-established bonds he's created with the 118. It just means he's READY TO LET GO.

#anonymous #tina speaks #911 spoilers #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #evan buckley #maddie buckley #margaret buckley #phillip buckley

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youarestrongerthanyouthinkyouare · 11 months

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(DON’T) LET THIS BE THE END — CHAPTER 15

Chim laughs shaking his head listening to the funny bickering between Hen and Buck and rests his arms on the railing, when he sees a couple enter the firestation. He raises an eyebrow and immediately heads down, approaching them, thinking they are two people who need a hand. Why would they be there otherwise?

“Hello, can I help you in any way?"

“Hi, are we looking for Evan Buckley? He should work here.”

Chim nods in confusion and calls out to him, and he comes downstairs still smiling then stops as soon as he sees the two guests.

“What are you doing here?”

“We were looking for you.”

"You are not welcome here" Buck says raising his voice, and the others hear him from up and get off, standing next to Chim.

“Buck, is everything okay? Who are they?"

Buck looks at him and shakes his head "these are my parents, unfortunately" and then moves and takes his cell phone, to write to Maddie to urgently reach them at the firestation as soon as he understands that the parents are not going to listen to him.

Ever since she’d received her brother’s text she had imagined all the possible scenarios, but seeing their parents in the firestation left her speechless.

"You arrived; what a nice surprise huh? Did you tell them where I work?”

She turns to Buck as soon as she hears him speak, looking at him with a not so nice look “are you kidding me? I haven't spoken to them in years. What are you doing here?"

"We are your parents, does it seem normal to you that we don't know where you live and where you work?" Margaret steps in, looking at them both, and Maddie can't help but laugh.

“You lost that privilege many years ago, and as a result you lost the right to know things about us and our lives."

She sees her mother looking and smiling at Buck and Eddie who has approached him to support him, then she sees Buck rolling his eyes, while her mother's gaze fall to her belly, and before she can say something her father begins to speak.

“We care about you, even if you don't —“

She stops her father before he can continue his sentence “you don't. You saw us, we are still alive, now you can go home and never come back again.”

"Evan, say something.”

“Leave him out of this. Leave him alone.”

“Now you're being unfair, Maddie” Margaret says looking at her “You know it's been hard for us with you, and you've never made our life easy.”

“We were two kids, and no, that's not true, since we never did anything to cause you any problems, we just wanted to have a family like everyone else but but we couldn’t have it, right?“ She feels like she's losing control, in fact she shakes her head and snaps “While the other children spent their happy days with their parents, Evan and I were our only family, does it seem normal to you that a 9-year-old girl had to be a mother to a one-year-old boy because his mother and father believed that their mourning and their grief were more important than their children? And that's enough, stop playing the victim because you are not the victims here, you have received what you deserved, and now you have lost all of your three children, not just one.”

"Maddie stop now, you said too much.”

Her father looks at her, and she stops talking and she knows she's done something stupid as soon as she looks away from them and looks at Chim, their friends and especially Buck.