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3pblueberry · 7 months

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look, i need to say this somewhere or i'll explode. candela obscura spoilers kinda.

to say that i disagree with spenser's game decisions would be an understatement. in this essay i will,

(first off, don't read this if you liked the guy's style! i'm not about needless pettiness, i just need to get this off my chest so i can go to sleep tonight. i see you, and i respect you, and i'm genuinely glad you enjoyed something i wasn't able to!)

but anyway

two main things i disagree with:

he doesn't honor player choices, choosing his own narrative over the top of their actions every time

he doesn't honor player successes. even on a six (full success) he still deals out a frankly preposterous amount of damage. invariably, on a mixed success they also will ALWAYS take damage. this fucks up the statistics.

there's a bunch more little things (dodging player questions, refusing to allow clever tactics - general hallmarks of the frustrating gm) but these are getting into nitpicky territory so i won't go on.

my analysis of the issue boils down to this: spenser is a good horror storyteller. but he is a bad horror game master.

let's break that down. the point of a game is to be an experience. and the point of horror, as a genre, is to be scared in a safe environment. to have an outlet for rage, and fear, and all ugly emotions.

all games are concerned, at their core, with a simple question: what does this game choose to punish or reward? sometimes it's in the rules, e.g. 'killing monsters gives you loot'. sometimes it's an unspoken question, e.g. 'my gm likes when we think our way around things rather than fighting all the time'.

the way spenser runs his game - always punishing mixed successes, and sometimes even punishing full successes - he destroys the core of a punishment/reward system by reducing it entirely to a system of punishment.

this might sound fine for a horror game. (for some people, i bet it is). but as a person who enjoys playing punishing games (pathalogic cough) a great deal of the appeal is that your struggle has meaning beyond your own survival. when the struggle is simply futile no matter what, well... why bother at all?

in other words, when you punish everything your players attempt to do, you encourage them to do nothing. in real life, this is when people walk away from the table, or develop suicidal characters

so much for game design. here is how he fails on a storytelling level. his goal, in most scenes, is to kill his characters. so there's no wider stakes. oh, he creates tension, and frustration - sure. man knows how to ramp up a scene. good storyteller, remember? but it's not his story that matters to us. it's the characters.

spenser refuses to honor player choices in a meaningful, narrative way.

in fact, that is the exact cause of our frustration!

and as far as spenser would have it, the characters will die, or remain helpless, and so our frustration has no outlet.

still, having laid all that out, i wonder. maybe there is catharsis in this kind of hopelessness. to become so deadened by tension and rage that you slip into a darker mental space, and you begin to long for any escape at all... you long to utilise the only agency you possess: that is, where exactly you choose to die. is there agency in that? you have to believe it, right? otherwise, what's the point? yes - why bother at all?

and maybe the story could be something. if spenser engaged with this idea. if he let go of the need to punish. but when his characters die, i have no expectation it will be anything other than inglorious, and possibly even accidental. and we will have lost a valuable story in what they might have done, if he'd let them. what answers they might have found to that age-old question: why should we bother?

to reiterate: the point of a game is to be an experience. and the point of horror, as a genre, is to be scared in a safe environment. to have an outlet for rage, and fear, and all ugly emotions.

when the goal of the game is survival, and you create an environment so punishingly tense that your characters are no longer scared of dying, they lose interest in the goal. games kinda need goals, you know? anyway, this is the experience spenser fails to deliver

to quote marisha, s2 e2. 'throw the whole quickstart guide out! throw it all away!' or at least, get a better dm to try and sell it! because i've read the guide front to back, and it's not a hopeless game system. but having a hopeless dm... yeah, you couldn't pay me to play at his table lol

rant over, keep scrolling. if you're one of the people who liked his style, that's okay and i respect it! i wish i had half the masochistic streak you do ^^

#candela obscura spoilers #i have a great deal of empathy for his position #its not easy #i get that #this is a great deal of pettiness that i hope he never sees #and you know what? i found his incompetence useful #in learnign what i don't want to do #and the kind of gm i never want to be

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johannestevans · 9 months

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you know, one thing that i found extremely refreshing about the Barbie movie is how much it doesn't hate men or masculinity, and instead positions compulsory masculinity as similarly limiting and imprisoning as femininity when it's societally enforced

and i've been really surprised by how many people who have been going "this movie is anti-men, and that's GREAT" when like. it's not anti-men. it's opposed to patriarchy and toxic masculinity, but it extends a great deal of compassion to individual men

not just to magic ken and sugar daddy ken and allan and the other rejected kens, but even to stereotypical ken, who like. causes a lot of the problems in barbieland and leads it. it extends a great deal of empathy for his sense of powerlessness and loneliness

and it would have been very easy for the film to basically just call him an incel and punish him for what he's done by disenfranchising him even further, but it doesn't do that? it says, hey. you need more to your identity than your gender, and there's more to you than being str8

and that's exactly the same weight of the message communicated to barbie, that there's more to her identity than her gender, that there's more to her than her perfect appearance and performance

neither of them have to just be dolls

idk, i enjoyed it as a well-crafted film without finding it like, hugely artistically impactful on me, but that aspect of its gender commentary was incredibly refreshing, and far more nuanced than i'm used to expecting of cisgender creators

and i think it's a real shame for people to interpret that very carefully crafted arc for ken and the other kens and allan as "haha, this movie HATES men and thinks they're STINKY" when like. a lot of work was done to go beyond that sort of very easy reflexive hatred

#musings #barbie

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lovelykhaleesiii · 20 days

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Aegon is the best big brother to his sweet sister, who is in third trimester of pregnancy; not only does he help her relieve the feeling of her heavy breasts by sucking on her tits greedily like a babe, he sometimes helps the aching feeling between her legs by sticking his cock, tongue or fingers in her cunny

Such a good brother, especially when she’s not even his wife

Blood of my Blood.

PAIRING: Older!Brother!Aegon ii Targaryen x Little!Sister!Fem!Reader

WORDS: 1,715.

WARNINGS: incest to the max, implied affair [Aegon is the father of the child], age gap [reader is of mature/consensual age], lactation kink, pregnancy kink, slight reference to breeding kink, p in v sexual intercourse, possessive!Aegon, swearing.

A/N - now I NEVER write brother x sister tropes even in the ASOIAF universe just because it’s not really my cup of tea, but this ask sparked something very very feral in me. I might make a neice x uncle version of this or a Daddy Aeg x daughter!reader version.

credit to the owners of the images.

Curse the Gods who afflicted the journey of motherhood, for it could be such a gruelling thing... Heading into the final few moons of your first pregnancy, you had never felt such intense discomfort in your life. Your beloved mother, Queen Alicent, had informed you of such grievances, although with little empathy for her pregnancies had been quite embracing and facile. Your eldest sister, Helaena, having already given birth to a set of twins, now in the early stages of her current pregnancy with your elder brother, Aemond, could somewhat console you, becoming an anchor of support.

It was Aegon, your eldest of the siblings, that you seemed most attached to, for it was Aegon that granted you bliss in your pregnancy, more so than your absent husband, some delinquent lord of the Vale. You had argued your way with your mother, and batted your eyes to your father, begging you to stay in King's Landing, in familiar territory with the finest maesters at hand. More so, it was Aegon who had plotted with you this essential plan.

"Do you truly think that the maesters of the Vale and that imbecile you call husband will keep you safe and satisfied, dear sister? Not in the least... But I can."

Aegon's temptress of a tongue was convincing alone, although it had been his merciful gestures of chivalry that kept you sane and grounded. Easing your aches and pains of expecting, Aegon became your sole beacon of ease, like the formidable arms of a warrior and you, the damsel he heroically carries.

"Do they ache again, sweet sister?"

The softness in his husky, drowsy voice breaking the silence of the chamber, woke you whole from your half-hearted daze. You had both succumbed to slumber [often Aegon insisted that you remain closely by his side, even in bed] what felt like hours long ago, and yet through the ginger firelight, by the open window, night remained swallowing the sky.

"Mhmm-" You uneasily stir: weakly trying to muster enough strength to sit yourself upright: however, with the sheer, bulging mass of your grown belly you visibly struggled until Aegon's efforts of pulling you effortlessly upright ended your dilemma.

"Want me to help, princess?"

His calloused, thick hands began to rub small, soothing circles against your lower back, knowing the babe inside exerted much pressure on your lower spine: its weight growing more rigid with each passing month.

"You've helped me enough, Aegon. I mustn't ask more from you... If this state is any indication of me being a mother, consider me a terrible one," You defeatedly utter, one hand stretched from behind supporting your upright position, whilst the other softly caressed at the protruding temple of your clothed belly.

"Don't speak like that, Y/N, dearest. This is your first babe, you must understand your body is adjusting. Hel suffered a great deal with the twins also, and now, look at her... You are going to be a beautiful mother, indeed. I have no doubt...C'me here."

Lightly tapping at your exposed thigh, your night gown had been pulled up just below your way with all the commotion and movement. Obeying, Aegon summoned you onto his lap, shirtless he had entered the bed, however before you could even gather motion to straddle yourself atop: he'd managed to tear away his undergarments, leaving his exposed girth, reddened at the tip with excitement. Modestly covering himself with the sheer, ivory linen.

"Right now?" Your snappy tone vicious, however Aegon remained unfazed.

"Well, little sister, if I'm being quite frank it seems you've been dreaming quite vividly... Do you not hear the moans and pleas that escape your lips in sleep, crying out for me, begging... Want your elder to sate you, is it? Was that babe growing inside of you not enough, you wish me to spoil you some more, hmm?"

"A-Aeg- We shouldn't..." You meekly whimper, a surge of heat coursing through your face, certain your cheeks had grown scarlet with shame.

"All you had to do was ask."

His dark voice a low growl, like some concealed predator eager to ambush. Aegon's motions remained in contrast, tender and cautious, easing your delicate and sensitive frame over his wide, gelatinous thighs. A scorching sensational painfully heightened sent lightning bolts in waves throughout the entirety of your body, shuddering with excitement as your aching cunt eased itself over his pulsating cock. It had been a while since you had been intimate with Aegon like this, prior to the pregnancy in fact: the changes your body had undergone since were bracing and raw.

Feeling the tensity beneath and the heat as you began to bob ever so slowly and sensually over Aegon's tense, fat cock: feeling its hard tip hitting at your cervix [you had hoped rather than the babe]. Your tight walls overstretched, desperate to adjust to his girthy width, you swore to yourself it had never felt this stimulating ever before: every primal sense in your body, every fibre of your being resisting the urge to collapse into a faint against Aegon's soft chest, gripping onto the bare, pale skin of his broad shoulders for dear life.

"That's it, rūs [baby], doing so-so well. It hurts I know, but Daddy's gonna make you feel so much better. Keep going, princess."

Head rolling back in admiration, you felt the intensity from between your inner thighs beginning to lessen, a wetness pooling between, coating the friction to ease the motions. Your hands release their strong hold over him, as your eyes began to wonder over his body, you had immediately noticed the raw, reddened marks lashed across his ivory skin. To avoid any more damage, you guide your relaxed hands up towards Aegon's short strands.

Tugging and playfully pulling at the loose, platinum locks, whilst Aegon's face remained buried, eagerly lapping at your petal-like skin on the base of your neck. One strong arm snaked around your back, gripping you firmly by the neck providing some lumbar support, whilst the other strategically untied the knots of lace at the front of your night gown, exposing your voluptuously full tits. Hardened nipples raw and perky, even as Aegon teasingly flicked at your tit with this thumb, a grimace forming across his handsome face you felt against your skin: kneading the swollen, plump flesh with his palm, you instinctively squirmed and moaned with such debility.

"Seven Hells, you are so fucking full, dārilaros [princess]. This babe is going to be so spoiled. Such a good Mumma, already eager with milk for the bub... Could feed the an entire realm, Mumma."

"J-Just you A-Aeg. Only you get to taste this sweet m-milk before the babe. T-Tell me how good I taste," Stuttering whimpers mottled between mouthful of moans echoed between the dense walls of Aegon's royal chambers. His fat cock still buried and plunging itself deeply inside of you, penetrating against your already tainted and filled womb, Aegon's hand cupped at your breast from beneath. Lifting your tit upwards, latching his mouth tightly against its curvature peak.

"Mhmm- Keep going big boy... M-Making me feel s-so good, A-Aeg. H-Have your full."

The imminent relief your occupied tit began to succumb to, felt like a blissful dream. You felt your breath could finally release, not hitched against your throat from the sheer agony of feeling it was about to burst. The milk you intently sensed, lusciously pouring into Aegon's ravenous mouth, his plump, moist lips suckling at your skin, totally encompassing the nipple in its entirety. His teeth lightly gnawed at your flesh, however, it was a pleasant sensation nonetheless.

"So w-warm and fresh- Gonna f-fill me up so fucking much. P-Poor princess... The weight of these, the copious a-amount- I-I'm greedy for you. Sh-Should've fucked you earlier in your womanhood... Drenching your w-womb of my seed, till we fill the keep i-if need be. M-Mother would rather enjoy it."

Aegon, famished like a destitute of the realm, bathed his taste-buds of your milk from one breast and onto the other: regaining his breath between each as he felt inclined to credit your production. Descending his face down once more, he spared no further second wasting away, as he continued to fervently feed, like a man starved of pure water.

"Th-The el-eldest you may b-be, such a b-big baby y-you are. S-So needy for me, huh? A-Always needing t-to take me, m-make me yours. Every bit of me... Is devout t-to you, A-Aegon."

As if your breathless, sensual words had struck a chord in him, a man gone mad with a fever. His hold on you had tightened, his mouth suckled deeper, tugging at the flesh of your bosom, whilst his cock felt it had grown a size more inside of you. The wet mess coating between your inner thighs now glazed all over Aegon's plump lap, expressed no denial of his power over you, the purpose he gave to you. In theory and practice, you felt your body collapsing into a bliss, a shudder of ecstasy waved through your feeble body as you screamed for Aegon, a gush of your wetness coating all over his stiff cock buried inside. Only to be met with Aegon's mutual appreciation of your vulnerability and submission towards him.

"That's it, baby. Such a beautiful woman... Gevives [beauty]. You honour me with this holy act. You privilege me to your womb, your body and your life... Skorkydoso kostagon nyke mirre deny ao mirros? [How can I ever deny you anything?]."

Easing yourself off of Aegon, your limp, frail body tiresome and relieved of such exploits endured. Aegon knew better than to leave you to your own strength, as absent as it was: carrying you over towards your empty side of the bed, still laying you closely against his natural warmth.

"Continue to serve me, brother. And I shall pay it back 100 times over... And besides, if it had not been for your mischief many moons ago, I would not be in such a state. Although, I wouldn't have it any other way, Aegon... I love you."

"Avy jorrāelan [I love you], my dearest, sweet little sister. Continue as you are and I might have to fuck another babe in you once more to teach you a lesson or two."

general taglist [bold means I could NOT tag you] - @succnfuccubus @fan-goddess @malfoytargaryen @bibli0thecary @m1ndbrand @connorsui @elegantsplendour @sylasthegrim @arcielee @s-we-e-t-t-ea @sahvlren @aemondtargaryensrider @watercolorskyy @hypnos-daughter-certified @urmomsgirlfriend1 @backyardfolklore @snowprincesa1 @zaldritzosrose

Aegon ii taglist [bold means I could NOT tag you] - @who-told-you-this-was-butter @f4ll-for-you @jawline-of-steel @daughter-of-the-stars11 @bucknastysbabe @callsignwidow

credit for divider - @/saradika-graphics

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a-d-nox · 4 months

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hi! would like to ask for advice on how i can deal and overcome the challenges of Saturn in Pisces transits in my 9H? I was always the overachiever and competitive student because of my stellium in 3H (all the beneficial planets) and mars & uranus in 9H but now that i am already in college, the situation turned upside down and i find it hard to keep up now on my studies which i think the Saturn transit in my 9H has great negative effect on this. Thank you in advance!

how to survive the pisces saturn transit throughout the houses

needing to figure out abstract self, being challenged by personality traits, struggling with outlook on life, feeling the physical body age, appearing older/maturer, detachment from beauty, struggling with false confidence, delayed or limited beginnings especially in terms of spirituality and creative pursuits, struggling with taking initiative, struggling with ambition, false mannerisms, needing emotional discipline, feeling physically weak, and/or creative passion

recommendations: try to separate your self from a situation. notice how you are no your situation. learn to better control reactions that originate in from your personality. try to see situations from all sides - practice objectivity. learn to act your age - better to be mature than immature. learn that beauty is to be separated from who you are - you are more than your body. practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. take breaks - let yourself know it is okay to do so. do things only when you have the energy and inspiration to do so. try one new thing a week. don't let yourself be kept back from experiencing new things. understand that you are very capable. keep emotions in check - learn to better manage them. sleep more. exercise and get movement more. create something new.

needing more discipline when spending resources (spiritual and monetary), hard spiritual work, short-term turned long-term work and discipline, the need for a mature work ethic, immaterial possessions, the illusion of possessions, limitations to self worth, illusions about the self's value, detachment from personal values, emotional insecurity - the need for empathy and less apathy, lack of stability, struggling to meet financial obligations, and/or needing practical giving and receiving abilities

recommendations: keep a budget book or invest in a budget coloring book. track your mood. don't over extend yourself. make sure that you you are practicing shielding and protecting your energy. dig deep and do shadow work. deep dive into spiritual practices. be open into making a side hustle into a job. do research about your field of interest. practice being the bigger person. not everything you have is physical - take stock of what you have (health, happiness, emotional understanding/depth, etc). practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. make a list of what matters most to you. evaluate your ethics - figure out your ethics. reconnect with what matters most to you. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. finding stability and consistency where you can - not everything is forever so appreciate it while you can. make calendar reminders for your due dates for bills. do not give more than what is asked for. learn to be more appreciative of what you are given - practice gratitude.

seemingly chaotic communication, deceitful information, a need for empathic communication, needing healthy/consistent communication, needing to stabilize the speaking voice, feeling anxious when talking with others, needing to be more aware of others social boundary requirements and needs, challenges of the mind, delay realizations, overthinking, false thought and ideas, curbing false perceptive of an event, needing more practical opinions, making the subconscious mind conscious, needing to be more in control of thoughts and speech, spiritual interests, being more wary of gossip, being more compassionate about other's ideas and the information they share, needing to read more spiritual literature, a lack of transportation, not always trusting local media or social media, needing to step away from phone use, not being as fearful about making that phone call, visiting estranged fathers, and/or not letting the illusions of a social activity stop you from attending

recommendations: try to cut to the chase - less fluff, more facts. be careful - don't believe everything you hear. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. take a breath before talking - no one is judging you like you think they are. when someone sets a boundary respect it - don't be afraid to express your boundaries either. do mental / brain exercises. reflect on your day. try not to spend your day re-thinking everything you have done, everything you have said, everything people have done to you, and everything that people have said around you. reflect on whether or not you might be biased in a situation or if you are letting your mood color your opinion. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams. think before you speak. curbing and rewriting your thoughts - opinions and perspectives are not facts. avoid participating in gossip. read more spiritual books. take a walk. don't trust everything you read or hear. know that nothing is as scary as it seems; the idea is often worse than reality.

how home feels - do you feel trapped? can you escape into your home? etc, investigating family roots, setting mature boundaries with parents (particularly the maternal figures), supporting the inner child using maturity and wisdom, doing shadow work, being responsible/empathetic/mature in emotional situations, making more solid foundations, creating enduring traditions, and/or spiritual self-care

recommendations: re-evaluate your home life. smoke/noise cleanse your space. do some nesting. ask parents and relatives about their life and their family. set boundaries with your family - don't be afraid to reinforce them either. nurture you inner child - let them know that you can protect them now. do shadow work. take responsibility for your emotions both the mature and immature response you have/had. take things slower - no one is in a rush (slow and steady wins the race). re-invent familial traditions to be more modern and to better serve you and your needs.

inner children work, childlike escapism, talent, creative disciplines, escapism via creativity, creative limitations, creative efforts, childish drama, escapism via drama, karmic drama, false accusations, risk-taking after a long time of being stable, romantic drama, escapism via romance, romantic boundaries, escapism via hobbies, and/or pleasures you find when pushing off responsibilities

recommendations: do shadow work. do things that your inner child would like. embrace your creative side. take an art, dance, or acting class. watch a comfort movie or show. know that all effort made is good effort. don't participate in drama. watch reality tv. don't listen to other people's accusations - be the bigger person and simply say 'i'm sorry that you feel that way and that is your perception on the matter." take a risk - playing it safe doesn't always lead to the gains you dream about. date for fun and create boundaries when dating - if you are just dating for fun, make sure that you are transparent from the beginning that you don't want something serious. deep dive into your hobbies. have some fun - not everything has to be serious and all about responsibilities.

creative routines, lacking a routine, spiritual routines, the limitations of a routine, mental health, vitamins and minerals, karmic duties, self improvement via shadow work, lack of consistency, delusions surrounding hygiene (don't fall for fads), spiritual innocence, good karmic, showing maturity in karmic situations, and/or spiritual analytical

recommendations: journal, draw, sing, dance, etc per a routine - practice your interests consistently. a lack of routine will be a given but follow one when you can - an off day is not the end of the line, just because you missed one day doesn't mean you give up. take better care of you mental health (get a talk therapist, journal, etc). start taking you vitamins (make sure you talk with a doctor as needed about doing so as well). take care for the debts you are left with in the physical sense. do shadow work. now is not the time to switch up everything in your hygiene routine - slowly introduce new products into your routine don't do it all at once. lead with being ignorant in the situation and show your willingness to learn. be as mature as you can be in a rough situation.

accountability in long-term relationships, the limits of relationships, sensitivity in relationships, emotional boundaries in a relationship, a show of empathy, spiritual attraction, spiritual charm, chaotic/challenging/karmic conflicts, karmic partnerships, deceptive contracts, hidden enemies becoming open enemies, false negotiations, compassionate equality, spiritual harmony, sharing wisdom, sharing dreams, and/or sharing feel in a healthy manner

recommendations: take accountability for things that go wrong in your present relationships. know that happiness is an inside job and not something that you can depend on others for. so empathy and understanding in your situations. share your boundaries with your partners. be empathetic to others because you will never truly know what is happening or what has happened in their life. lead with love and light to attract the same in return. be wary of conflicts and reflect on whether or not you have been in a similar on previously. read the fine print. share your wisdom with others. treat people as you wish to be treated. be vulnerable with others.

long-term spiritual transformation, emotional sex, spiritual death, facing long-term challenges, chaotic changes, clever shared financial documents, spiritual investments, creative investments, spiritual rebirth, merging creative ideas, karmic taboos, secrets, mystery, shadow work, and/or empathy/compassion towards trauma

recommendations: prepare for a long-term change. let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. don't try to order the chaos - just go with the flow. invest in yourself spiritually. buy yourself an art piece or fancy music player. invest in a creative pursuit. let yourself be reborn spiritually. don't be afraid to combine two of your ideas. explore the unknown. be empathetic to toward your and others trauma.

spiritual wisdom, limitations of law, chaotic values/beliefs, a jobian test of belief, spiritual discipline, needing to be more kind to yourself where higher education is involved, chaotic/false/limited viewpoints, needing to use language to express boundaries, needing responsible ethics, long spiritual journey, and/or learning about spirituality/boundaries/discipline/karma/empathy

recommendations: share spiritual wisdom with others. know that not all set laws feel just or deserved. embrace having a mixture of beliefs. it is okay to question your beliefs. if you feel tested, it is for a good reason so just stay strong and keep believing. just because you fail at something doesn't mean you fail at everything - be okay with trying new things. verbally express your boundaries. be ethical in your day-to-day life and recognize your ethics aren't going to be universally accepted. be open to hearing/learning new things.

10h

chaos legacy, limitations / perceived restrictions in legacy or career, spiritual task, sensitivity in career, chaotic public image, falsities about status/image, spiritual reputation, test of popularity, needing patience for long-term goals to manifest, the perceived effort/challenges in one's mission, and/or spiritual responsibilities

recommendations: uncertain direction in life - figure out what you enjoy and how it can make it your life. don't let your ideas about a career stop you from pursuing it. work on your spiritual journey/tasks. be sensitive towards others at work. know that you can always turn your image/reputation around. don't belief everything you hear about someone. evaluate your need to be known. practice meditation. evaluate in the "juice is worth the squeeze" when it comes to your mission/task.

11h

karmic friends, boundaries made between friends, spiritual gains, what is gained from hard work / effort, spiritual desires, abstract/ non-material desires, unique/rare challenges, social awareness of boundaries and the need for compassion, influence over personal karma, limitations to manifestations, limitations to one hopes and wishes, false ideals, and/or spiritual debut

recommendations: beware of karmic friends. enforce boundaries in a friendship - just because you are making a boundary doesn't mean you don't want to be their friend. put in the work to gain. do the spirit work to improve. evaluate your non-material desires. be more aware of other people's boundaries. evaluate whether or not you are in your own way. figure out if your expectations are too high.

12h

spiritual healing, hidden emotions/boundaries, karma lessons, needing to be wise and graceful with age, insufficient sleep, avoiding mental health, needing to take responsibility for mental health, spiritual solitude, lack of or strange/unclear dreams, illusions about spirituality/age, fearing karma, karmic losses/endings, escapism from responsibilities, limiting beliefs that slow progress, the subconscious mind's needs, karmic self-undoing, how the past is coming to affect the present/future, and/or spiritual delays in ability

recommendations: practice spiritual healing. investing in crystals. embrace grace and wisdom when dealing with others. take naps and reset your sleep schedule. take accountability for your mental health/wellbeing. take care of yourself - it is okay to take time away from others too. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams - to better understand your subconscious. debunk your beliefs regarding spirituality.

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anashins · 1 year

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saw this tt and now all of a sudden i NEED fwb mark but he ends up falling in love... please 😕🙏

Pairing: Mark x Reader

Genre: angst, smut

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: You confess to Mark that you've finally found a boyfriend which brings your little "arrangement" to an end. But he makes sure that you remember him in a very special way.

A/N: My first Mark request! Thank you, I hope you like it 💖

“I’ve found someone.”

Mark froze on the spot. “Really?”

He tried to sound cool, almost unbothered which he also wanted to convey through his body language, but he couldn’t shake off the fact that your confession had pulled the rug from under him.

You shrugged, but he wasn’t in a clear position to read your expression, whether it was indifference or empathy that was currently being reflected in your eyes. “That was the deal, right? This between us was only going to last until we both found someone new.”

Well, in the beginning, it had been. But somewhere along the way, between many nights entangled in the sheets and deep talk that lasted for hours, Mark had stopped searching for someone who would be an even better match for him other than you, because he assumed there wasn’t.

Foolishly, he had thought you had too.

“Who is he?” His question came out hoarsely, but he hoped you didn’t notice.

“His name is Jaehyun, I met him at work,” you explained, biting down a smile that eventually broke through nonetheless. “We went on a few dates together and he asked me to be his girlfriend last night. I will accept tomorrow when I see him.”

The way your look changed when you talked about this other guy broke Mark’s heart. You had never looked at him in the same way.

“Is he treating you well?”

“He’s kind, compassionate, funny and takes me out on great dates. A real gentleman.”

Mark wanted to object, convince you that he could be all of that too. That he already was all of that, including the dating part, even though having never gotten the chance to prove it because of your stupid rules.

But you had had him and still decided to look around for someone else. It hurt very much that you couldn’t see him in the same way.

“I’m happy for you,” he eventually pressed through gritted teeth.

It didn't pass by him that you didn’t buy even one syllable. “We can still be friends. You will surely find someone else yourself, Mark.”

But what if he didn’t want to search for someone else? To even find someone else? What if he only wanted the one thing in the world that didn’t see him as more than a friend that did her a favor every now and then?

“Thank you for telling me.”

He wanted to turn around and leave your apartment immediately before you could look through his facade of which he didn’t know for how much longer he could still keep it up, but stopped in surprise when he felt you withholding him by his arm.

“One last time.”

“Dont-”

“One last time,” you repeated slowly. “Officially, I’m still single, so… please. One last time.”

Mark knew he shouldn’t do that. He should walk out right there, right then, and never contact you again. That would be if it were an ordinary friends with benefits situation for him. But it wasn’t.

At that moment, he knew he was already so in love and every moment close with you would break his heart only further. But he just couldn’t resist.

_____

Mark loved the way you were shaking under him. When he looked up, he saw that you had one arm draped over your face, cursing with each breath that slowly faded when you came down from your height for the… he had lost count of how many times he had brought you to your climax already.

Actually, your sexual encounters didn’t last for so long, but since this would be the last time, Mark wanted to make it memorable for you. Licking all your juices from his lips, he crawled on top of you, giving you a proud look before bending down and kissing your dry mouth.

“You good?” he asked as he pulled your arm from your head and you faced him with heated cheeks and a havocked expression. “Because I’m not done yet.”

Your front teeth sank into your bottom lip as you gave him a nod. “All good,” you croaked. “But you haven’t cum one time yet, let me just-”

You made intentions to crawl out from under him, but Mark had you locked in the spot, spread out on your bed. “Today’s on me only.”

The change in your demeanor gave away what he had been trying to hide all along, but even though you suspected the truth, you didn’t let him know or broke it off. Instead, you encouraged him, “I want to do it in your favorite position. I want you to be inside of me when you cum.”

Mark couldn’t say whether it would be something like a goodbye gift for him or whether you really wanted to savor your last joining, but in the end, it didn’t even matter. He only had one intention.

You rolled over to your stomach, then got on your hands and knees, facing the headboard. Mark was behind you within moments, grabbing onto your thighs to spread them even wider before he slid the head of his dick between your cheeks. When he pressed his entire length into you with force, but care, he simultaneously lured a loud moan out of you that you only seldomly let slip.

“If you’re going to do it with this Jaehyun guy in the future, keep in mind that he’s never going to make you feel the way I do.”

“Mark, I-” But you didn’t come to speak further as another scream interrupted your sentence when Mark thrusted into you, starting out slow, but strong and always filling you all the way up.

Your breasts were bouncing rhythmically, his hands on your hips to move you and meet you whenever he withdrew. He loved the way you made him feel, how you sucked him right back in, physically and emotionally. Throwing his head back, Mark pushed every thought aside that this time would be the last time. He didn’t believe it. He couldn’t yet.

When he picked up his pace, ramming into you forcefully so that you eventually fell forward onto your chest, there were no other sounds leaving your lips anymore other than little gasps that never got to show their full potential as he quickly knocked into you again.

Usually, Mark was a quiet lovemaker, but this time, he couldn’t hold back his anger, especially not vocally. You were lying limply under him, exhausted, but so, so fulfilled and satisfied as you held onto the pillow in front of you like a lifeline, listening to the sound of his moans that only turned you on even more.

Not much later, you felt your back getting covered in warmth when Mark placed himself on top of you, his hips still working hard, his stroking game relentless as he thrusted into you, the bed creaking under your sweaty bodies.

You turned your head aside, meeting his lips to share the first kiss for today. Somehow, it tasted of sadness for him, but that could have also been in his imagination, nothing but his wishful thinking that you could still somehow change your mind when he proved to you that he was much better than Jaehyun.

But you didn’t.

The force of his thrusts pushed you over the edge and you shook uncontrollably under him, crying out his name so loudly, he was finally sure he would be remembered for quite a long time whenever you came in the arms of any other man.

“MARKMARKMARKMARK!”

When you laid side by side shortly after, he hoped that you would lie yourself on his chest.

But you didn’t.

When you got yourself dressed, he hoped that you would invite him to stay overnight.

But you didn’t.

And when he walked out of the door, he hoped that you would hold him back again.

But…

you didn’t.

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 11 months

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It’s beneficial for others, but usually ends up hurting you

A/N: this was an old blurb originally posted back in the summer of 2022. kinda forgot I never reuploaded it... I remember writing this in a frenzy after being in a fight an ex friend. or well, idk if you would call it a fight when it was just them shamelessly and blindly not comprehending why their words and opinions hurt me........ ANYWAYS! good thing that person isn't a part of my life anymore. that relationship really was a great reminder of the important lesson that not everyone deserves your kindness or to be your friend.

warnings: Spencer Reid x reader, hurt/comfort, hyper empathy, meltdown, the aftermath of dealing with some stupid people

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist

“Hey,” you heard, causing you to peek open your eyes and see Spencer hovering over you.

Letting out a small hum in response, you attempted to offer him a small smile. Kneeling down next to your vertical position on the couch, he gently rested his chin on your arm.

“How long have you been laying here?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, staring firmly at the corner of the ceiling.

You felt one of his fingers hook around your cold ones, “did something happen?”

“No,” you automatically replied, then tried again, “or well, maybe? I don’t know… I’m fine, really, it was nothing.”

“I think your body disagrees with you there… you’re shaking.”

“Yeah, I know, and my pulse is all funky and my circulation is weird,” lifting up your left hand to check, “see, it looks like I have blue nail polish on. I’m okay, my head is fine, my body’s just not on the same page about how I should react, that’s all, I’m just waiting it out.”

“Are you sure that your body is the one that’s not reacting logically?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“It was nothing, just had a conversation with someone who has polar opposite views on some things, and they sometimes hurt me… not intentionally, of course, and I don’t try to make them change their mind, we’re all different and that’s beautiful, but I just tried to make them understand that what they said hurt me and they just couldn’t see it. And I think because I understand them, and where they were coming from, I don’t feel like I can be mad at them. They’re my friend, just because they have opinions that hurt me doesn’t mean I can make them out to be the bad guy.”

“So, you make yourself the bad guy just to what, potentially save a friendship? Avoid conflict?”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you sighed, “urgh, hyper empathy sucks. I wish I could just be mad and that’s it, but no, I have to understand, empathise, and then I feel bad for them and feel like I can’t just be angry with them. It complicates everything,” zoning out for a moment, you revealed, “you know, a lot of bad things have happened to me in my life, a lot of bad people have hurt me, but my first instinct is never to be angry, it takes me years to just be plain mad at them. I have to fight tooth and nail to discard the compassion and simply be angry.”

“Being hyper empathetic is like a superpower. It’s beneficial for others, but usually ends up hurting you yourself instead,” he grabbed a hold of your hand, trying his best to transfer you some of his warmth, “and you just take it because that’s what you’re used to.”

Peeking over at him, you took a deep breath and let his words sink in.

#lea’s writing #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid angst

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aspd-culture · 6 months

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dunno if this is allowed, u dont have to answer if you don't want to but as someone with bpd I'm curious, how do people with aspd often see them?

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

However, for non-Exceptions, I can get *very* annoyed by the emotional reactions of pwBPD if they affect me. I already am exhausted by the emotional labor of dealing with prosocials, what with their emotions overtaking their logic, but that is even more exacerbated by pwBPD. It's not their fault, and I know that, but I do have trouble being around pwBPD who are not an Exception because of this without setting firm boundaries on what I can and can't help them with. If they need me to just listen to their upset without trying to help them solve the problem, I cannot help with that. However, if they are too overwhelmed by their reaction to find solutions and want me to insert a logical and entirely non-emotional perspective, I am great at that and it makes me feel useful for something that mostly makes people call me shallow and cold.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

Plain text below the cut:

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #bpd #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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beautifulterriblequeen · 24 days

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We're getting to close to seeing how Callum and Runaan are going to interact! They both love Rayla, but will they let that outweigh the fact that Runaan killed King Harrow?

Rayla and Callum love each other, but their fathers were on opposite sides of a deadly clash, and one of them didn't survive. It's going to be intense, no matter how it falls out.

But we've seen this particular tangle come up before. And there's a wide range of results so far:

Zym and Ezran are bonded closely and can read each other's thoughts when they want to. But Ez's dad killed Zym's dad, and before that, Zym's dad killed Ez's mom. Yet that doesn't stop them from seeing each other as friends. They don't blame each other for the choices their parents made.

Rayla and Soren have talked through what Viren did to Runaan in TTM - as far as Soren knew and could guess at, which was that Runaan was messily dead dead at Viren's hands. And Rayla was still happy to be his friend, when he showed his true colors. She didn't blame him for what his dad did to hers, even when she still thought Runaan was gone.

These friendly pairings are all about people from the same generation, people who were hurt by or who were not involved in the deaths that occurred.

It's a little different for Claudia and Rayla. They've generally been on opposite sides all along, and we might see some closer context for Rayla and Callum from looking at their situation.

On one hand, they both know that Viren cursed Lain, Tiadrin, and Runaan into coins. There could be plenty of fallout to come from this knowledge on Rayla's part, and maybe even on Claudia's if she gave those coins away when Viren had some kind of plans in mind.

On the other hand, they also both know that Rayla tackled Viren off the Storm Spire, and he died, and it took Claudia two years to fix that.

Just like it's been taking Rayla two years to "fix" Runaan's coin situation (with vengeance, which will probably now shift to rescue instead?)

But when Claudia and Rayla clashed in S4E9, their issues with each other stuck to what they had done, not what their fathers had done.

And though the angst potential is great with Runaan and Callum potentially squaring off and forcing Rayla to choose a side, etc etc, I think there might be one more example to look at first:

Ezran and Rayla.

They've already bonded as children made to carry a heavy burden of responsibility by their fathers, of feeling separate and weird, not fitting in. They both know what it feels like to have a father who takes lives, a warrior who defends his people - and who kills the fathers of other children. And they're still friends. They're very good friends.

I think Callum has every right to be angry at Runaan, when they meet again. I think he will be angry. He's an angry person with a lot of hurt and stress. And that might be how he deals for a while, because I don't know that Rayla or Runaan himself will really be in a position to help smooth things out.

But Ezran could be, possibly more than anyone else. Harrow was his father, too, so he can speak to Callum from a place of true empathy. But Harrow took Avizandum's life and left Zym without his dad, too. Ezran could help Callum see their shared pain from the outside, even when he's angry. Ezran is the King of Katolis - made so by Runaan's attack, in fact. Ezran rules because of Runaan's actions as much as by the good people who rescued him from Viren's cell.

Oh yeah, how about that: Ezran knows what it's like to be locked up by Viren, too.

They were both betrayed by supposed allies, and Viren pounced on the opportunity to lock them both up.

Bringing Runaan back might divide Rayla and Callum for a while, if Callum can't sort through his feelings. But I think Ezran is the key to helping everyone involved move forward.

#runaan #rayla #callum #ezran #release the drafts #the way i've totally flipped on who's gonna take rayla's side now lol

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lepurcinus · 5 months

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Something to notice or maybe I'm the only crazy one who thought of it.

But doesn't it seem to you that Vervain and Orchis in the miniseries could have functioned as a sort of Anti-Hazel and Fiver?

Look at it this way, the two are the only sibling rabbits we've seen that at least stayed together for a long time (and well it makes sense that it's weird, rabbits aren't famous for their sibling relationships). You can tell they have a very strong and appreciative relationship with each other, we already know that about Hazel and Fiver. But in the case of Vervain and Orchis, we see that they both care for each other in a certain way. Vervain, a rabbit who we know was raised in Efrafa's cruel and harsh system shows respect and trust towards his brother. Then we see that despite not probing much further into it, after his death Orchis shows quite a lot of remorse and anger towards it, which makes it apparent that their appreciation was mutual and legitimate.

Now in terms of roles.

Vervain is a high ranking captain, he earned his position in full "right" due to his aggressiveness and harshness when dealing with other rabbits.

Hazel on the other hand is a "common" rabbit who slowly earned his position as chief after demonstrating his leadership and ability despite not being a particularly large or strong individual.

Hazel is compassionate and calm, Vervain is rough and aggressive.

Then we have Orchis, who like Fiver stands out for being a thin and small rabbit, which leads them to be easily intimidated by larger rabbits.

However, despite not having visions, both Orchis and Fiver prove to be able to overcome their physical weaknesses with intelligence.

Orchis is deceptive and cunning, Fiver has great reasoning, empathy and it's sincere.

I don't know about you. There would be more to look at but I think this is the highlights.

#like this could had a lot of potential #watership down #lepur stupid thoughts #hazel #fiver #vervain #orchis #Watership Down miniseries #Watership Down 2018

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sweet--candy · 4 months

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Hazbin Rewritten Part 1

I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that it seems like Vivzie abandoned the original premise for Hazbin Hotel in favor of a generic "Good Vs. Evil/Heaven Vs. Hell" plotline.

I’d like to introduce you to my idea that embraces the original Hotel idea! There’s a lot, so I'm splitting this up into 2 parts.

Pilot VAs, designs, and names are a given. Also if I were writing Hazbin, Helluva and Hazbin’s amounts of seasons would flip, with Helluva getting 2, and Hazbin getting 4.

Things picks up where the Pilot left off. Similarly to the trailer, I could still see them making the commercial for the Hotel, but it’s everyone else, and Alastor does the voiceover separately. I imagine Charlie gives him a script to go off of like she does with Angel in the trailer, but he doesn’t follow it, adding his own twist instead. Vaggie reacts similarly to how she does in the trailer when asked about how she likes it, whereas Charlie offers an awkward pained smile and two thumbs up. They have a lot of work to do.

The commercial goes about as well as you’d expect, and they actually manage to get a few patrons! These new folks interact well enough with everyone else, but are put off my Charlie. As it turns out, Charlie has an issue with toxic positivity. While she has good intentions and wants the best for everyone, she doesn’t go about it the best way, constantly encouraging everyone to stay positive when they’re looking for an emotional outlet, sympathy and/or empathy. I like to think Charlie was pretty sheltered growing up, so she doesn’t have a whole lot of experience interacting with others.

This builds to a fever pitch until someone - I like to think it’s Angel after he’s had a hard day of work at the porn studios and wants some alone time - snaps at her and tells her that she’s making things worse for everyone with her toxic positivity. And he isn’t the only one who noticed; Charlie gets into an argument with Vaggie a few days prior as well, so Charlie is in a bit of a slump the whole week.

To top it all off, Charlie has a meeting with heaven again (Yes, I like to think the figures in the opening of the Pilot who Charlie cried to were Adam and Lute) at the end of the week, and things go similarly to in the trailer, except she meets with Sera and Emily instead, who gently, almost in a motherly manner, tell her that while they will watch her career with great interest, they will go through with the cleanse.

OR, another idea I had for how this meeting could go over, is that Sera and Emily strike a deal with Charlie instead; that they will give her a year to redeem at least ONE sinner, and if she doesn’t succeed, they will have to go through with the cleanse.

Charlie returns home defeated.

End of Season 1.

#i probably won’t be watching the show #but will I continue to check the critical tags?#absolutely #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin rewrite #hazbin rewritten #as I’m calling it #if anyone wants to use any of these ideas as inspiration #feel free!#just give credit

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13docwriting · 5 months

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NOTE: this post was made on November 26th, 2023, before the 60th specials aired. I wasn't going to post it but due to the recent episodes, I feel it really fits. It's me, more than a year after the Power of the Doctor! As time moves on and more spoilers / interviews / trailers / content comes out for the 60th (and then some), my already limited hope continues to dwindle for human kindness. Why? Here's my twenty page essay down below! (I'm not kidding, it's 20 pages)

The Thirteenth Doctor has been a life changer for me, as many could tell from my username. Chibnall's series came to me in the midst of the pandemic and a very hard time in my life. Ironically, my motivation for watching DW once again after more than a four year hiatus of the show was actually the idea of the Doctor being a woman. My reason to stay, however, was the stories we received. I've lived through the Chibnall and Jodie bashing on this hell-site in real time. I've read downright nasty comments on any/all of Doctor Who's social media posts about thirteen's series. I've seen people call each other horrible names for simply liking one of the Thirteenth Doctor's episodes... And now, as her series has ended a year ago, I'm even more saddened to see her era get pushed to the side as if to be forgotten. Nobody came at me with the whole "it's not because of Chibnall/Jodie's era! DW just needed a reboot!" I would have agreed! I would have agreed that a fresh coat of paint would have helped DW gain some more traction, especially in the states! The more people who watch DW, the better! But the change RTD is presenting and the continued changes come at the cost of dealing with bullies online and defending something I love with all my heart.

I'd like to remind everyone that Chris Chibnall did not just barge his way into Doctor Who. He has written episodes for DW for a while before he took over as showrunner. Tenth Doctor: 42 Eleventh Doctor: The Hunger Earth, Cold Blood, Pond Life, Dinosaurs in a Spaceship, the Power of Three. Recognize some of those titles? Yeah, even when I was a wee lass, those were some of the best episodes DW had ever done. "42" scared the crap out of me in the best way, "Dinosaurs in Spaceship" had me smiling ear to ear, etc. etc.

Don't just take my word for it, read some of the reviews for those episodes. They are highly positive if not still mid-range.

That being said, I have a hard time believing that every single one of Jodie's episodes have been awful. And, if not outright stated as awful, certainly below every single nuwho Doctor.

Was there some not-so-great episodes? Yeah, of course! But every Doctor has had some questionable episodes. With a show that has a new plot nearly every episode, you're going to have some misses! My point being... Chibnall CAN write good episodes and, with that being said... Why HAS Thirteen's era been considered one of the worsts? Well, I think it's because, as always, people hate change. We've just come off of Twelve's era which was rooted in deep and meaningful conversations with a underlying of, dare I say it, Time Lord Victorious. Twelve holds a special place in my heart for the amount of care he showed through his era. From the Twelve's darkest moments, Thirteen is born. Thirteen is a ray of sunshine that holds hope in the palm of her hand. She's happy, bubbly, and ready to smile. She wants the universe and everything it has to offer and she's ready to travel the stars again.

Chibnall introduces a series of stories that are rooted in that hope. There's kindness at every turn, there's compassion, there's empathy... Is that the reason people hate her era? No. A new Doctor has never stopped anyone from getting back into the show. So, it's the writing, you say? I have one thing to say to that: Prove it. Point me in the direction of bad writing without ONCE mentioning the word "woke". If you found Jodie's era to be preachy, perhaps there's a reason that you take offense to it. DW has always been a progressive show and it will forever stay that way. And I am the first one to admit that, again, there are weak episodes. There IS some bad writing, but the hate that Jodie's ENTIRE era gets, I feel, is unjustified. So, if not writing, must be the acting! Where? When? I had no problem watching Jodie Whittaker be the Doctor. She's quirky and fun and eccentric... She has a thousand different emotions on her face at one time. Any actor that knows how much a smile can hide is a talented one. Besides that, her work on Broadchurch and her newer works (One Night, Time) have some raving reviews. She clearly has talent. So, not the acting or writing... Companions, then? Why? "The fam" had all of their moments to shine. I won't say their character arcs were perfect, especially for Ryan and Graham, but they did have their own arcs. Was it the fact that there were three totally separate companions at once? Was it just too big a job? I can't answer that one. I personally felt that they all got a good ending, one that makes sense and that isn't tragic for the sake of tragedy. This my be my opinion piece, but I liked having multiple companions that had their own little storyline, but that's MY opinion and I'm fine with someone calling me out on that. Let's go really basic... It's because the Doctor isn't meant to be woman, right? Oh, so, the Master can be a woman and that's totally fine, but when it's the Doctor... Woman can be villains but they can't be the main protagonist, right? I didn't see people up and arms over Missy, why was Thirteen so different? I remember seeing her very first introduction trailer and having people immediately be upset by the gender change. Well, forget my opinions, let's look at the statistics and viewings numbers, right?

HOW ABOUT NO. Remember the writing strike that just ended? Remember how regular cable has been nearly done with? Remember how writers are fighting to earn something for streaming services? We can't rely on normal/live views while a literal pandemic was happening, while streaming has become the norm, while watching online for free has existed for so long... Views have CHANGED. The way people consume media has changed, especially during the pandemic. Now, for an excuse... The pandemic happened. It changed how people were filming, it changed how close people could get to one another in terms of acting, it changed filming times and locations. I can't confirm, but I know that the Flux storyline was cut by two whole episodes, which could be the reason a lot of people felt disappointed by the end of the Flux. Chibnall and Thirteen's era had so many real-life obstacles to overcome that past era's did not have to deal with.

I'm tired, alright? I'm tired of defending my love for a character. And to have that love be spat out in the form of a different writer by.... 1. Discarding the Thirteenth Doctor's iconic outfit after a regeneration for the first time ever (under the guise of calling it "drag" if Tennant was to wear her outfit even after a male co-star had just worn it.) 2. Introducing a very popular Doctor back into the show ("to gain views") 3. Doing a soft reboot by calling the new season "season 1" (could be Disney's fault, but I'm not entirely sure of that fact) Every day I read another article about how RTD is "saving" Doctor who when I myself have been saved by the Doctor already. I didn't ever need to justify my love of a character until today.

#anti rtd #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw spoilers #opinion piece #13th doctor #dw fandom #thirteenth doctor #dw

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wonderlandleighleigh · 9 months

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I don’t know how y’all are feeling, but I’m so grossed out by streamers right now

So I’m going to give you some smaller youtube creators to watch who are so fun, and not owned by a studio that is refusing to pay their workers.

Watcher Media - Do you like ghost hunting, puppets, and food? These three former Buzzfeed employees started their own video company and they are a true delight. Shane, Stephen and the Bergooz talk about ghosts, history, food, and murder. Worth a watch!

Tasting History - Max Miller, former Disney employee, started a food history podcast that teaches you about what people ate in ye olde times, and why. You can tell how passionate he is about his subject matter. A very chill time.

Mythical Kitchen - Do you like gremlins and food and gremlins who make food? That’s basically Mythical Kitchen. It is Good Mythical Morning’s bizarre, anxious kid sibling who may have sniffed bath salts last night, but has the best of intentions. If Nicole didn’t constantly remind him that it would kill him, I’m pretty sure Josh would eat wood glue.

Disney Dan - If you’re a Disney human, Disney Dan is a great way to scratch that itch. He does deep dives into park costumes and touring show costumes, including some deeply terrifying showings from the dawn of Disneyland. He’s so much fun. He has a great laugh, and you can tell he’s having such a good time.

Defunctland - Short form documentaries about all sorts of both well-known, and very little known subjects in pop culture. He does such compelling work. I cannot recommend this channel enough.

Ask a Mortician - Do you think about dying, and the ethics of the death industry? Get onboard with the Order of the Good Death. There is something really interesting and refreshing about death positivity, or, being well informed about the industry that your family will invariably have to deal with once you die. Being unafraid to tackle the idea that we all gotta go sometime, and we can make good choices about what happens to our bodies when that happens.

Be Kind, Rewind - A super solid Hollywood history channel, tackling a lot of topics pertaining to women in the industry.

Fundie Fridays - I knew nothing about fundamentalist religion before I started watching this channel. Jenn and James are so informative, and they do their best to show empathy to those who truly need it amongst subjects that are truly horrifying sometimes. TW for information about sexual abuse and other disturbing subjects, but so informative and so important to know.

Food Wishes - Join Chef John as he cooks up delicious dishes. So chill. Such good vibes.

Demystifying Chinese Cooking - Traditional Chinese food is an entire world all it’s own, and you should know about it!

Girl with the Dogs - Canadian Animal Groomer who tells you all about the breeds she grooms, and also how to handle difficult animals with compassion and safety. She also uses a lot of her funds from youtube to give free grooms to animals in need, and promote animal adoption.

Shipwrecked - They describe themselves as stupidly smart comedy, and that’s very true. They’re an indie film company, creating historical fiction that is really lovely and funny.

Kittenlady - Hannah and Andrew run Orphan Kitten Club, a non-profit dedicated to caring for abandoned neonatal kittens. They’ve been doing a lot of traveling to learn about kitten and cat care around the world, and shine a spotlight on shelters and colony caretakers internationally.

I could literally go on forever. But these are the ones that are super standout for me at least right now!

#whatarentyouwatching #indie creators

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flying-elliska · 2 years

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Why Nick Nelson in Heartstopper is groundbreaking bisexual representation :

I'm sure most of this has been said by now but I was in the mood for fluff so I did a re-watch and like, bi rep is A BIG THING i want to talk about on this blog so I felt I had to lift this draft out of my graveyard of unfinished meta essays and finally finish it :

Very basic but a male bi character who explicitly calls himself bi and not as a stepping stone to another label ? Still unfortunately too rare

It's an old cliché but for a very long time, bisexual characters were presented as manipulative, mentally unstable, unreliable, two faced, flaky, cagey, hiding something, etc ; often con-artists, addicts, liars, cheaters, if not outright psychopaths. Even the positive characters tend to have a ton of secrets, chameleon abilities, hidden pasts, etc. Nick Nelson, meanwhile, is a human golden retriever. Yes he's a bit confused and he makes mistakes, but it's never not obvious that he's a sweetheart who means well and is trying his best to be a good person. He's so protective and gentle towards Charlie, and you can tell that once he figures his shit out he's going to be a dream boyfriend. Also he's kind of basic and a bit of a dumbass at times ? In the most positive, endearing way possible. He's honest and straightforward and reliable, he's not crafty or tricky or slick, and that's just great.

At it's core it's a story about the butterflies in your stomach feeling of first love, a cute and endearing romance - not a genre you often see bi characters in, who used to be confined to stories about raunchy sexual experimentation, threesomes, etc (As a bi teen it's all I got and honestly it contributed to me not taking my own sexuality seriously for so long) Here there's none of that shock/scandal factor - Nick gets to be a little romantic hero that stands in the rain getting drenched because he is so overcome with feelings, like he's replaying Pride and Prejudice. It's adorable and it's humanizing, like good romance is, flaws seen with empathy, characters allowed to be vulnerable and complex and not some spicy episode of the week.

It's not prudish either like the chemistry between the actors is super believable and also - it's so obvious that they are absolutely delighted to be in each other's presence !!! And honestly more romances, queer or straight, should be like this. Like it should be obvious that the characters are just this absolutely giddy at seeing each other and being close - and that's too rare.

Linked to this, having a bi character in a story aimed at younger teen audiences, that is sweet and non explicit - ofc we still need portrayals of queer sexuality, but unfortunately that's all bi people used to get for the longest time, as something considered intrinsically 'more adult' - and that's bullshit ! there are bi kids who need stories like this !!!! And being bi is about love just as much !!! I'm so glad this show exists !!!! Showing that it's okay to take your time with these things and that even holding hands can be a big deal and that's wonderful !

Also related to this - a lot of the more positive bi representation tends to also sort of become this cliché where they're all these flirty, confident, seductive super badasses, often adventurers or superheroes. (Ok I like those characters and the idea that being bi automatically makes you cool tbh). But it's a lot of pressure. Normal regular boring bis also need representation. Nick's not boring, he's a little star athlete, he's probably the coolest character in the show lmao but he's still a regular kid and that's nice.

Which little baby bi hasn't had those feelings about Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom in PotC, huh ? Most relatable moment of the show for me lmfao brilliant - that sense of overwhelming 'oh no they're all hot' is bi culture!!!!! yes!!!

His process of figuring out his sexuality is taken seriously !!!! Man this made me cry a little because - yeah, again, most bi characters nowadays, even when they're good rep, they generally have everything figured out because their sexuality is seen as them being more liberated and enlightened and honestly I think that's kind of problematic, even if well meaning ? It trivializes the particular struggles of being bi, like it's just 'gay-lite' and they end up being mentors of gay characters and side characters whose individual stories are easier, more simple/less interesting and honestly I feel like in reality that's anything but true. Nick gets an episode to confirm that yes, he's still into girls and his feelings for girls earlier are not erased by his attraction to Charlie. Bisexual identity doesn't change or disappear depending on who you are with.

that part with the youtuber explaining that bisexuality at first is often an experience of constantly second guessing yourself !! yeah !! that was so real ! I was in that phase for such a long time, and seeing Nick attain a stage of certainty rather quickly was so nice to see - important also to see that his mother has a sort of reflex to tell him he 'doesn't have to say he's into girls' because bisexuality is generally conceptualized as a stepping stone and he explicitly corrects her. It's a big deal ! And that's important because I feel a lot of bi people feel less valid than gay people and that they have to minimize their own experiences/not make a fuss so as not to appropriate/take attention away from 'real queerness' or something. And that has real consequences in terms of self-image and mental health and community support. So yeah, the narrative giving it weight and time is really groundbreaking. It's just treated with such nuance and respect. It's wonderful.

Honestly in general it's very common for bi people to figure out their sexuality at a later age than their gay peers, because having crushes on the opposite gender means you are less likely to question yourself. Nick needing time to figure things out isn't presented as a bad thing, it's Charlie's specific history of being hurt by this before that makes the situation difficult for him. And the fact that it ties into him also realizing he was just going with the flow not really being true to himself - questioning your sexuality can also have a ricochet effect on how you stand in the world and - yeah I just thought the whole thing was so realistic and true to lived experience.

The reason Nick agrees to go on a date with a girl is not because he's two-timing Charlie but simply because he cares too much about her feelings to let her down in front of everyone or because her dog died (and he brings his dog to console her when he goes to let her down !). His main character flaw is that, by virtue of being a popular, athletic jock, he's oblivious to the shittiness of his friends - you get the feeling that he's a sunny, happy guy used to breezing through life, who probably prefers to get along with everyone, and that might have insulated him from certain realities, but he's still a very caring person. And he tells the truth to Charlie and makes it right pretty quickly. It's a very good send off of the trope of the untrustworthy bisexual who was secretly dating a girl the whole time. Meanwhile Ben, one of the bad guys of the story, who was dating a girl and treating Charlie like shit because he hates himself, and could be a bad bi cliché, isn't given a label, which I think was a smart writing choice.

It's just great queer rep in general because it centers queer joy so powerfully, it's sweet without being saccharine - difficult topics are talked about with nuance, it doesn't hide or minimize real hurt and prejudice, but it gives more time and importance to its characters being happy and giddy and in love and having fun, which makes it feel so safe and soothing to watch. Elle's story is another example of this - her specific experiences as a trans girl who recently changed schools are central to her story, but she also gets to be a regular teen girl who has a complicated crush on her best friend and stresses out about making friends at her new school and gets milkshakes and arcade games with her squad. It's great.

And yeah this general celebration of queer friendship and mutual support is super important to a good bisexual representation too - Nick's amazement and relief at seeing Tara and Darcy kissing publicly - like !!! which closeted baby queer hasn't felt that exhilarating sense of possibility and belonging and yearning and awe at seeing other people being gay and in love in public ! That was so wholesome and beautiful - and him being so eager to talk to them afterwards, adorable. Because being openly yourself often has that sort of domino effect on others. Seeing other people doing it, makes it become real for you, too. I think this is also especially important for bi people, because they tend to be more alienated from the queer community as a whole.

So yeah so much love for this show - I've followed the comics for a long time and they are also wonderful, but the show added its own brand of charm and heart, and I'm so happy it exists. It makes me a bit sad too, nostalgic for an experience I never had, because my own experiences were so different, the reality I grew up in as a bi teen was so much meaner and more bigoted and violent and vulgar and lonely, but even if this show is probably not the reality for a lot of baby bis still, it gives me hope we are moving in the right direction. <3

#heartstopper #bisexuality #nick nelson #nick x charlie #bi representation #bi characters

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sparkypantaloons · 7 months

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Pocket Square

Dick helps Jason get ready for his first gala.

When Alfred sends Dick up to check on Jason, it’s all Dick can do not to snap at the older man. Agreeing to be here was one thing, but playing babysitter had never been part of the deal.

“Master Bruce is already at the Museum.” Alfred calls up the stairs after him. “We need to be on our way in fifteen minutes.”

“Alright!” He calls back, dragging his feet to the East Wing. He doesn’t quite manage to keep the bite out of his voice.

It’s the annual Wayne Memorial Fundraiser. An obscenely ostentatious party at the Gotham Natural History Museum. Every year Bruce pours who knows how much money into hosting, and every year, everyone from celebrities, to politicians, to Royalty, stump up for a ticket. Their money goes towards everyone in Gotham who has lost a family member to crime that year, and the rich and fabulous get photoed at the event of the season for their trouble.

Bruce says he hates it as much as Dick does, but clearly not enough to keep hosting the damn thing. This year the theme is 1920s, all Great Gatsby opulence, and totally ignoring the greatest economic downturn to ever hit the country that same decade.

Dick is dressed in a tailcoat. The soot-black jacket cut short at the front, tapering off at the back down towards his knees. Beneath is a white waistcoat, over white shirt and a white bow-tie for good measure. He feels like he’s going to dinner on the Titanic; impending sense of dread and all. But while he’s never been one for all the pomp, circumstance and nonsense that comes with the Wayne lifestyle, even he can admit to feeling pretty sharp in a tailored suit.

Jason’s room is down the same corridor Dick’s old room used to be, and the dull clench Dick feels in his stomach, is the same one he had last time he was down here. Packing his bags to leave… Not that things are as bad these days, as they had been then. But the Manor is hardly, Dick’s favourite hangout spot at the moment. He’ll be glad to get out of here.

He raps on Jason’s door with his knuckle, frowns at the light scuff in his otherwise brilliantly polished shoes. Wonders if he can get away with using his pocket square to buff it out. Jason distracts him before he can get to it.

“I’m not coming!” The twelve year old shouts from behind the old wooden door.

Dick scoffs. “Yeah right, kid. If I have to go, you have to go.” He pauses for a response. “Alfred says we’ve gotta be in the car in ten minutes.”

“I don’t care.” Jason yells back. “I’m not going to the stupid party.”

Dick rolls his eyes. “Yes, you are.”

“No. I’m not.”

Dick did not sign up for this. He might be trying to be more civil with Bruce these days and maybe he was a bit harsh towards Jason when the kid arrived, but he sure as hell isn’t interested in dealing with temper tantrums. It’s way above his pay grade, and his emotional investment if he’s honest. “Whatever, dude.” He says nonchalantly. “Ten minutes! Well, eight now.”

“I said—” There’s a sudden whoosh, as Jason positively rips his door open. “I’m not going!” He stares up at Dick glaring, cheeks flushed and eyes red. He’s dressed in his pyjamas, his hair sticking out all over the place.

“Have you been crying?” Dick asks, incredulously. A little meanly, actually. Smart move, Grayson. So much for that Rob— Nightwing empathy. He slides his foot forward just in time to stop Jason slamming the door in his face. “Sorry.” He adds, more sincere this time. “Are you okay?”

“Like you care.” Jason snaps, savagely. He’s trying to force the door shut in Dick’s face, but Dick doesn’t budge. “Just fuck off,” He growls, giving up. “I’m not coming.” He abandons the door and flops over onto his bed.

Dick stands a little awkwardly in the doorway. Considers his next move. He doesn’t have much interest in this kid if he’s honest. No more than any other child he might meet in the course of his day, at least. He doesn’t wish him ill and yeah, it’s a shame the kid is upset for whatever reason, but it’s not… it’s not his problem. And part of him, the part he’s been trying to tame these last few months, is more than a little pissed off that Bruce isn’t here to deal with this himself. Bruce is the one who adopted the kid. He’s about ready to turn on his heel and head back down to Alfred. Let the older man deal with whatever pre-teen-temper-tantrum this is. But then he hears what is undeniably a choked-off sob from the bed.

“You uh… you wanna talk about it?” Dick asks, hands in his pockets as he slowly heads to the bed.

“Nope.” Jason pops the p. Doesn’t look up from where he’s face-planted on the covers.

“You sure? Maybe I can help.”

Jason snorts at that. “Like you give a shit.”

Dick can’t really argue with that, he’s never been a very good liar. Instead he says “Maybe not, but it’s gotta be better than,” he gestures vaguely at Jason’s back. “All this.”

Jason turns his head to look at where Dick is now standing at the end of the bed. “I’m not going.” He says again. He sounds utterly miserable.

“You have to.” Dick shrugs.

“Why?”

“Because Bruce said so.”

“Since when do you do what Bruce says?”

The comment hits a little too close to home and for a moment Dick’s temper flares.

Jason must see it cross his face. “Sorry.” He says quickly, and he looks genuinely sorry. “I just…” he sits up on the edge of the bed, wrings his hands. “Sorry.”

Dick sighs. “It’s okay.” He says. Even though it doesn’t feel it. “But we really have to go. Alfred will kill us if we’re late.

Jason bites his lip at that, looks like he might start crying again. “Dick, I— I can’t...” He says quietly, eyes on his hands.

“Why not?”

Jason looks Dick up and down, gestures. “Look at you.” He says. “And Bruce too, will look so, so smart and— and—” he screws his eyes shut, “and I’m just going to look like some Crime Alley kid he dragged off the street. Some fucking charity case and he said Michelle Obama is going to be there, Dick and I can’t even get my shirt to button up.”

“Your shirt?” Dick asks, because that’s a lot of information and he needs to work up to the big stuff. “Why can’t you button up your shirt?”

“Because they’re not buttons!” Jason wails, miserably. “They’re these funny little metal things and I’m just too stupid and too poor to—”

“Hey.” Dick says firmly, placing his hands on Jason’s shoulders. “Hey, enough of that.” He waits as Jason takes some calming breaths. “You’re not stupid. And you’re not too poor either. You’re Bruce Wayne’s kid now. That makes you richer than Michelle Obama.”

Jason doesn’t say anything to that, just sniffles.

“Let’s take a look at this shirt.” Dick suggests, stepping back from the twelve year old. “Where is it?”

Jason shuffles over to the closet and passes Dick the shirt. Then he rummages in his pyjama pocket. Pulls out a handful of little silver studs.

“He couldn’t have just got you a regular shirt?” Dick mutters.

“I wanted to be like him.” Jason says, so quietly Dick almost doesn’t catch it. The sentiment is painfully familiar.

“Why didn’t you ask Alfred to help you?”

“Alfred cooks all of my meals and helps me with my homework, and cleans my room and helps me if I’m injured on patrol. I can’t ask him to help me get dressed as well.” Jason says miserably.

Dick frowns at the shirt in his hand, creased from lying in a pile on the floor. He lets out a sigh. “I’ll help you.” He says, shaking out the shirt. “You’re not stupid, Jason. Bruce is stupid. He forgets not everyone grew up in Downton Abbey.”

For the briefest of moments, Jason looks hopeful. Then it descends into confusion. “What’s Downton Abbey?”

Dick helps Jason with his suit. He’s not surprised the kid was stressed. The stud buttons are fiddly little beasts, and it takes more than a few attempts at each one before the shirt is properly done up. It has double cuffs too and Jason had never even heard of cufflinks.

The twelve year old’s mood slowly improves as he puts on each part of the suit, and by the time Dick is showing him how to do his bow tie, he’s almost grinning.

“Okay,” Dick says, manoeuvring Jason in front of the mirror. “Step one. This end longer than the other.” And he adjusts the tie slightly around Jason’s neck. “This loops over here, then pull this across. Loop that side back over the top and— pull it through… et voila!”

Jason beams at Dick’s reflection, his eyes are wide. “Thanks.” He says, slightly breathlessly. He turns slightly, to look at himself over his shoulder. “I… I look like Bruce.” He says, puffing his chest slightly.

Dick can’t help but laugh at that. He remembers doing exactly the same thing before his first gala. For all that Batman was impressive, there was something about just Bruce that was special too. In a suit he looked somewhere between James Bond and the President and a school Principal. Someone who was smart and important and capable. Who always seemed calm and and in control, when so much of Dick’s life had been chaos after his parents died. In the early days, it was what used to make Dick feel safe. Before he knew the truth about presidents and Bond and Bruce. Unreliable, controlling and secretive.

Jason will learn for himself one day, Dick thinks, a little grimly. Though maybe it won’t be so bad for him, if Dick is there to ease him through—

The thought catches Dick off guard and he shakes his head a little.

“One last touch.” He says, to Jason. “We really need to brush your hair.” And he ruffles Jason’s curls with his hand.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re stood in front of Bruce’s 1920s vintage Rolls Royce. Alfred’s irritation at their tardiness seemingly alleviated by the skip in Jason’s step. He insists on snapping a photo of the two of them.

“Can I have a copy?” Jason asks, before Alfred has even lowered the camera. “I mean um…” He looks up at Dick. “If that’s okay with you?”

The question takes Dick by surprise, the answer even more so. “Of course.” He says to Jason, putting an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder. “Alfred, I’ll have a copy too.”

#batfam #spbfic #batfam fic #jason todd #batfic #batfamily #dick grayson #batfamily fanfic #robin #nightwing

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invertedfate · 1 year

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Hey different anon here, i always thought floweys actions in the canon was supposed to be a kind of dark reflection of the players own actions, and a parallel with how WE treat video games. I never really thought it had anything to do with trauma, cause like think about it, how many players abuse save states in video games to get away with evil shit? Most of them i would wager, and if you had the power to save, load, and reset, maybe you WOULD start to treat even your own reality like a video game.

Like, is it wrong when flowey does these things when we do the same? Because to him its real but to us its just a game or is it ok for him to do so because it really IS a game.

And flowey DID say he also spared everyone, in the same sentence he said he killed everyone, implying both are things he doesnt really place value in doing, he didnt do it for fun, he did it because he got bored, and we do the exact same things in video games when we play one a bunch, we start to experiment, we start seeing how different "npcs" react to different situations, we start making challenges for ourselves, we start analyzing characters and putting way more thought into their actions then the person who wrote them probably did.

When flowey has that power taken away from him, only then does he start to change from this desensitizing and feel intense emotion like rage when you don't do what he wants, or fear when you're about to kill him, both are caused by him not being used to not being in control, he spent so long being the one who gets to "play" the world that he can't accept a world he's not the "player" in.

Another factor might be that not having a soul inhibits his ability to feel empathy, but thats just headcanon, sorry for this long tangent, i just really like flowey, favorite character in undertale, just wanted to express my thoughts since everyones talking about him.

I think from a metatextual level, Flowey 100% is meant to be a dark mirror of the player, which is likely why his full backstory is only given in geno, since at that point you're treading a similar path as him if you go all the way on that route. That being said, I don't think there's a lack of trauma. At the end of the day, the buttercup plan involved watching his best friend/sibling die, said sibling sharing control of his transformed body (which is implied to be VERY unsettling in appearance), his refusal to take a single SOUL, which led to his death, and then awakening in a new form, unable to connect to others the way he used to and assuming he was broken as a result of it. He did try to take his own life, after all, and only came back from it because he got scared and his determination brought him back. His power allowed him to avoid consequences and grow detached, of course, but there is absolutely room to read trauma as a PART of how he got to be this way. Not the sole factor, but a pretty significant one, especially if you interpret his loss of compassion as an undiagnosed PTSD symptom misunderstood due to toxic positivity culture among monsters. e.g. this idea that their souls are made of love, hope, and compassion and that makes them different/better than humans. Considering how many monsters force smiles to deal with their pain, I legit this mindset is super harmful to all monsters and they might not even realize it. Flowey is a great and complex character, and losing his abilities definitely also impacted his actions, for sure. I definitely am not a fan of the immense woobification of Asriel in the fandom, like, at all, and it's part of why this arc in IF is taking its time to do more character exploration and stuff since in UT, a lot of his depth is locked behind a route the game actively doesn't want you playing.

#asks #flowey #asriel

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inamindfarfaraway · 1 year

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Me: Of course I know that Starship is just a silly, lighthearted comedy and I shouldn’t think too deeply about it.

Also Me: Mega-Girl has spent her whole life being objectified and only valued conditionally as a tool. She may revel in the many ways she is superior to humans, but her hatred of them is rooted in resenting that they created her (“How could you make me so like you, and yet so unlike you?”). Listen to how she describes herself - “a hollow parody” of life? A “purposeless slave” of “little consequence”? That is not a positive self-image! The source of her homicidal rage is self-loathing due to her robotic nature. She has fully internalized the human prejudice that she is “not real” and “unable to truly feel” and therefore unworthy of rights or love. Based on her parallels to the Terminator robots (the recommended way to kill her is to lower her slowly into lava), it’s highly plausible that she and other robots in this universe cannot self-terminate either and their constant anger is the result of being trapped in slavery without even the escape of suicide.

Tootsie is frequently dismissed and insulted for his lack of intelligence, which he is well aware of (“I may be dumb”, “I don’t know anything”). But unlike Mega-Girl, he has secure self-esteem because he accepts himself and appreciates his other good qualities. He has a great deal of compassion, empathy, honesty, courage, loyalty and crucially, emotional intelligence: he understands feelings, when people are lying about them (“folks say they’re fine when I know that they’re blue”) and their inherent worth (“The feeling I get when you’re close to me, when all my hairs stand up? That’s real.”). The one thing he understands is the same one Mega-Girl doesn’t. The parts of himself he values the most are the the same ones Mega-Girl despises herself for not having. So of course he’s the human to see that she deserves and is capable of love! He knows what it’s like to be treated like you’re less than, but also that everyone still matters just the same no matter how different they are.

By treating her personhood as a given when everyone else she’s met has done the opposite, he makes her respect herself and seek autonomy. He inspires her to want more out of life than what her oppressors want from her (“when you look at me, I don’t wanna be programmed this way”). After she falls for him, she stands up to her legal owner Junior, refusing to follow his orders, objecting to him risking her life and taking offence and even slapping him when he objectifies her again. She’s starting to value herself. However, she still can’t shake the idea that love is at best fundamentally conditional when you’re a robot, hence her fear of Tootsie leaving her. His declaration of unconditional love stops her rampage because finally believing that she is lovable, and has worth, as she is removes her low self-esteem, the source of her bloodlust and resignation to her programming.

In conclusion, they’re perfect for each other and I love them. And oh my God, Tootsie Mega-Girl renamed himself their ship name. What’s their actual ship name, then? Man vs Machine? No, wait… Mega-Toots.

#junior truly isn’t half the man tootsie mega-girl is #starkid starship #tootsie mega-girl #tootsie noodles #mega-girl #mega-toots #coining it #team starkid #starkid

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