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yhwhsdaughter · 3 years

Text

pairing: trevor belmont x fem reader

content: forced vampirism, monster slaying, main character death, pining, angst, mention of animal death, usage of the word ‘assault’ to refer vampires feeding on reader

- this was meant as platonic soulmates but it can be seen as romantic too

“It hurts…”

Feet dragging across the rocky ground, you heard screeches of pain from behind, though they soon diminished. You could only focus on the pulsing sensation at the side of your neck; it was like fire rushing through your veins.

Preoccupied with your agony, Belmont was able to sneak up. He raised his whip, ready to kill off the last of the creatures when you suddenly turned, and with glossy eyes you said, “Help me…”

The whip managed to leave a thin horizontal line across your cheek as he pulled back, causing blood to drip out slowly. Now illuminated by the moon, Belmont saw the damage on you. Skin exposed by the ripped clothes showed multiple bite marks. Blood stained the corner of your lips.

She’s been infected..

Belmont didn’t see a monster but a scared woman who’d just been assaulted by vampires. He knew what she’d turn into, but he couldn’t kill her… not when she looked at him like this. Sunrise was approaching so he had to act fast.

Draping his cloak onto your form, Belmont proceeded to carry you into the nearest building, which so happened to be where the carnage had occurred. Upon recognizing the place, you began to panic, shaking and looking at him with distrust. “You’re safe. I killed every last of those bloodsuckers.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, in that shitty stinking room. Eventually tiredness overcame your senses; Belmont felt weight settle on his shoulder. He wonder how a vampire could look so innocent whilst sleeping.

“Hungry…”

You felt parched; it felt like your throat had dried up, barely able to utter a word.

“I know.”

A rabbit was placed in front of you. Blinking at it, you directed a confused glance at the man. “I’m—this is.. for me?” He nodded. Taking the animal with traces of disgust, you raised it to your mouth. Blood gushed into your mouth; feeding made a horrible slurping that would certainly haunt you but there was relief amongst those troubling feelings.

You gulped every last drop, draining the poor creature of its life. Still, your hunger and thirst weren’t satiated. Biting your lip, you pondered on the next move. Because this man had saved you, daring to kill him or even feed off him seemed… rude. Not to mention, he seemed way stronger than you in terms of experience. Prior to this, you were a regular citizen. Maybe you could run away?

“Here.”

Trevor could see your turmoil. Most vampires needed to drain at least one human every time they fed—if they were being generous. They could survive weeks without blood but it made them weaker. Besides, it was older vampires who had this kind of self control. Newborns tended to be more unstable.

“Just take it before I change my mind.”

You did as told, though you were still unsure. Hesitating, you licked your lips before nearing towards the vein on his wrist.

Trevor let out a grunt when your fangs pierced him. Although you tried to be gentle, it was an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless. As he became lightheaded and you full, the mouth that was attached to his wrist removed itself with a ‘pop’.

After making sure he was alright, you asked for his name. “Trevor. Trevor Belmont.”

“Oh..”

“……”

“Oh! I’m (Name) (Surname).”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

“It’s dangerous.”

“I still-still want to go!”

The last remnants of sun were gone. Ever since your first encounter with the rugged monster hunter, you refused to part from him, following the latter like a lost puppy.

“I’m not much of a fighter.. b-but watch this!”

On cue, you punched the nearest tree, cracking it and making a sizable hole. You looked back proudly towards Trevor; except when you tried to pull your hand out, you were having difficulty.

“Ah. It’s stuck.”

Trevor couldn’t help but chuckle, walking away, clearly amused with your display of power. You pulled harder, “Hold on! Don’t leave me alone! It’s scary..” you muttered the last part while chasing after him. Despite being a creature of the night, the world and its evils still frightened you.

At the sound of a branch snapping, you yelped, grabbing a piece of Trevor’s cloak for security.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Belmont when you punched a head clean off, practically decapitating one of the attackers. He might have been seriously injured if you had not intervened.

“Trevor.”

Gazing at you under the moonlight, he saw the hunger in your eyes as you held a man whom was still alive but struggling. His neck was exposed. Even so, you waited.

The Belmont turned away, giving you privacy to feed.

He knew that by allowing you to live, you would continue to take blood from others. Normally he wouldn’t feel soft towards a monster but whenever he thought of you, it was different.

His guilt was lessened when you drank from scum. Before putting the lives of innocents in danger, he would offer his own.

“Are you done?”

The corpse of the man was dropped unceremoniously as you joined Trevor, a light skip to your step.

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Despite adopting a nighttime lifestyle, Trevor was still human and had to conduct business during daylight hours.

He’d left your lodgings, which was an abandoned cottage, for a while. Nobody really passed through there anyway, so he thought you were safe. Worst came to worse, you could handle yourself. But as your self proclaimed protector, Trevor felt uneasy leaving you alone.

Maybe he should’ve listened to his gut because when he arrived, the door was wide open with dirty footprints leading in all the way to your coffin.

Two men had opened it—staring at the peaceful expression on your face, unaware that they were here to end you. To them it was obvious what you were. Even with that frilly white dress that made you look somewhat angelic, they couldn’t be fooled. As they raised their weapons to strike, Trevor used his whip. His sudden entrance startled them but it gave you the chance to wake up.

Eyes snapping open, you jumped onto the other man, taking both of you to the ground. His screams echoed shortly as you tore into his throat. The remaining one had no chance; Trevor left the room, closing the door on his way out, killing the light that entered and cutting off the way to escape.

Left alone with your prey, a smile crept up your face.

When you opened the door again, the dress which decorated your body was now stained red. There was hardly a clean piece on the material. Even so, you greeted Trevor with a hug.

“Trevor..”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“M-me too..”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Forty years passed in the blink of an eye.

“You should retire.”

“Belmonts don’t retire. The only rest they get is when they’re dead.”

“Well I don’t want you to die.”

“I have to, someday.”

“No you don’t.”

It’s been like this for the past few years; Trevor was sixty now. His body didn’t look that of an aging man, but the expression on his face did. He’d seen too much and as time passed, it was harder to fight monsters by himself.

Of course you’d noticed that and suggested turning him. It was an ongoing discussion; Trevor didn’t fancy the idea of living an eternal life but the thought of leaving this earth without you was disheartening. He didn’t say it but the situation tore him apart.

There was also the fact that he was too old for you; forty years to be exact. You’d maintained your youth, looking lovely as ever. His doubts were shot down when you immediately said that you didn’t care about that.

“I just want you.”

He always kept pushing the conversation away and you were patient. Trevor supposed that you could’ve taken him by force if you wanted and when he inquired, you told him it would be like violating him, robbing him of the choice you were never given.

As understanding as you were; the time would come for him to decide and confront you about it.

That time was now.

He should have been more careful, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Trevor watched as the sun slowly descended. Would you make it here before he passed? Would he die without seeing you one last time?

When you woke night had already fallen. Trevor wasn’t home; he’d been late plenty of times before but this occasion felt different.

Upon stepping outside, the smell of blood hit you. It reeked, staining the very air. You immediately recognized the source—how could you not? You’d fed from Trevor countless times.

Rushing in that direction, you prayed to whatever entity was listening to keep Trevor safe. The world and its gods could condemn you, but not him.

Not him.

You found him sprawled on a big rock, a creature hovering over his crumpled figure. Without thinking, you tore it to pieces. Blood rained as his mangled body flew to various parts of the forest.

“Trevor!!!”

He let out a groan, which would’ve made you sigh in relief but his visible injuries proved otherwise. You were no doctor and even if you could carry him into town, it would be too late. There was no other option. If you didn’t do anything, you might lose him.

“Trevor. Let me do it.”

Still conscious enough to reply, “I don’t want to become—”

“A monster?”

“I cannot become what I sought to destroy..”

Tears escaped your eyes, blurring the image of the person whom you treasure most. “Please.. please please please..! Don’t leave me alone!”

You begged, knowing it was unfair to pressure him in such way but you couldn’t bare the thought of existing if he wasn’t present. He was your salvation, your companion…your world. And yet, he was being robbed from you.

So soon… It’s too soon!

You always imagined Trevor living well into old age, spending the remainder of his life with you, being happy. He was destined to die peacefully, not like this. Not in this shitty place, by the hands of a shitty monster!

“I can’t. I’m sorry..”

Grabbing his hands, you lowered your forehead on them, crying your heart out. It was unfair. Life was unfair.

“Kiss me.”

Despite the pain that he was in, Trevor found it in himself to smile. For you. “Kiss me one last time.” Tears dropped slowly as you heard him. Shaking your head; you couldn’t kill him.

“I want it to be you..”

His words struck a chord.

Lifting him by the neck in a gentle manner, you pushed the collar of his shirt aside, exposing his carotid. As you bit into his familiar skin once more, your other hand caressed him, trying to make this goodbye as painless as possible.

With every sip you took, tears fell down.

I love you! I love you! I love you!

His warm hand turned cold.

You held him in your arms like he once did to you, with the outmost care, with the love he deserved.

Since Trevor didn’t say where he wanted his body to be buried, you chose the nicest spot. It was a secluded place where it wouldn’t be dug up by animals or people—but not so hidden either.

Whilst cleaning the blood that covered his body and face, you found a piece of cloth with writing on it. Staring at it, you recognized the Belmont insignia. Turning the material, you managed to read the words…

Take this. Go to Alucard.

Trevor must’ve written that in his final moments; probably in case he didn’t make it before you arrived. The letters were sloppy because of the blood but you could read it well.

Clutching it to your chest, you sobbed until the light of day began to burn. For a moment you wished to stay there and disappear. Perhaps you could join Trevor.

Together even in death..

─── ☾☼☽ ───

The journey was rather long.

Looming in all its glory, Castle Dracula. You looked at the last piece of your beloved, holding it tighter in your hand.

“Okay. Let’s meet this Alucard.”

#trevor belmont #castlevania trevor #trevor x reader #trevor x you #trevor x y/n #castlevania #castlevania x reader #castlevania x you #castlevania x y/n #alucard #alucard x reader #alucard x you #alucard x y/n #vampire

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aidanezra · 2 years

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Hello aiden

Saw your post about writing requests. Can I request a super angsty whumpy hurt mobius and comforting loki?

Most of the hurt/comfort fics there are the other way around... I want to see mobius injured, weak and embarrassed and loki being nice and sift and supporting.

Thank you 😉😘

Sleep Is For The Weak (Loki x Mobius)

A/N: I love this idea and I fully agree. I don't think i wrote it as angsty as I could have, and I'm not 100% proud of it but I'm never fully proud of my writing any how ;-; Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! Have a lovely night/day/morning :)

Summary: Mobius is extremely sleep-deprived and accident-prone due to the latest variant case. But Loki's here to help!

Setting: The TVA if I had written the Loki series, aka happy (ish) ending where the TVA doesn't prune or control people, only protect and help them. Loki and Mobius work on cases together and yes, Loki's magic works :)

Pairings: Loki x Mobius

Themes: Angst {as requested :)}, and eventual fluff :)

Warnings: injuries, slight swears, box cutter ;-; and angst :(

Words: 892 (gonna restrain from having a breakdown over this anyways)

-------

"Mobius, be careful, you could hurt yourself," Loki warns, eyeing his partner who's currently occupying himself with open boxes of case files with a box cutter.

"Loki, I'll be fine. I've done this plenty of times." Mobius sighs, rolling his eyes. Not too keen on being reprimanded by the other, but still continuing his piling of papers and files.

"It's sharp so just be careful." Loki gives a quick smile, then regains his focus on what he was doing before.

Mobius continues his routine, he opens the box, unloads the papers, and breaks down the box. Over and over. He begins to get frustrated, opening the boxes with less and less care, sloppily throwing them across the floor when broken down. Then, slamming the piles of papers on the table -- a few flying off, which results in Mobius grunting in annoyance and stacking them back up. He continues on, yawning and then huffing when something doesn't go perfectly. Papers scattering and reorganizing themselves in ways much too difficult to quickly put back in proper order.

"Love, are you okay?" Loki questions, putting down his book and focusing his gaze towards his partner yet again. His eyebrows furrowed, a worried expression creeping up his features.

"Oh, I'm doing just fine, Loki. Just. Fine." He spits out, his words laced with venom, hitting Loki harder than a dagger to his heart.

"Maybe you should take some time to rest. Take a step back?" Loki then moves to stand, taking the scattered papers in his hands, finding their original order. "You've been at this for a while."

"I have too much to do, to rest." Mobius practically hisses, breaking down his tenth box in the past half hour. Loki calmly shakes his head, deciding to abandon his past endeavor and moving on to helping his beloved. He grabs the closest box, which is placed directly to the right of Mobius. He picks it up, grunting at the weight of it. He places it on the table, slightly slamming it down, completely unintentionally. He mumbles a quick apology which earns him an "Mhm" from Mobius.

"Shit." He hisses then grasps his hand tightly.

"Are you okay, love?" Loki quickly walks over to where Mobius stands. He holds his hand out, "Let me see."

"It's just a nick, it's fine." Mobius' eyebrows begin to knit, his eyes shut in pain.

"Darling," he warns, wrapping his hand gently around Mobius' left wrist, pulling it towards him so he can inspect it. "You're bleeding."

"I know. But it isn't bad."

Loki chuckles, rolling up Mobius' sleeve. "You're right, it isn't horrible. But you still got hurt." With a wave of his hand and a puff of green smoke, a small first aid kit appears on the table beside him. "Keep your hand steady."

Mobius nods, his gaze focused upon Loki's movements. The opening of the case and how he neatly -but quickly- lines up the needed items. Bandages, cloth, hydrogen peroxide -the works. He hisses as a spark of pain shoots up his arm, sourcing from his fingertips. He finally looks down and notices the small bits of blood seeping from the cuts across the tips of his fingers. It's the deepest -and the worst- on his middle and ring fingers, only a scratch on his pointer. He wasn't paying attention when it happened, too wrapped up in his pure exhaustion to notice the box cutter getting too close to his hand. It nicked him pretty decently on the tips of his fingers, but luckily not too deep but deep enough to cause a bit of bleeding. And a good bit of pain along with it.

"You'll be okay." Loki looks up towards Mobius, meeting his eyes. Noticing the pained and concerned expression on the man, he shoots him a soft smile, saying "I promise" without having to utter a word. He moves back to what he was doing, grasping the cloth first, dabbing up the bits of blood that's collected. Wrapping it gently over Mobius' hand, he pats it going to grab the peroxide and another cloth. "Hold that there for a second, k love?"

Mobius nods, holding the cloth tightly around his fingertips. Trying to soothe the pain by controlling his breathing. Loki then retrieves the peroxide and the cloth, dabbing a bit of the peroxide on. He gestures for Mobius to release the cloth wrapping his fingers, he does so, letting it fall to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Loki dabs the peroxide-covered cloth over his cut, Mobius hissing in response.

"I think. But it stings. And it's oddly cold." He hums in response, opening his eyes to watch as Loki wraps up his middle and ring finger, patting it slightly and then shooting him another grin.

"Think it's time for some sleep now?" He stands up, reaching for Mobius' hand.

"Sleep is for the weak." Shining a half-grin to Loki, he goes right back to unpacking boxes and boxes of variant files.

"Oh no, you don't! Rest time!" Loki follows his words by pushing the boxes away from Mobius, pulling him away from his hours' worth of work.

"This wouldn't have happened if you helped." Mobius crosses his arms, holding back a smile.

"Mobius, you never asked for help." He laughs, showing a wide grin. Happy his partner isn't quite as angry at him.

"Whatever.."

#loki x mobius #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #lokius #angst with a happy ending #that was a slight fib #sorta #mobius loki #mobius x loki #loki fluff #lokius fluff #loki angst #mobius and loki #why aren't these two cannon #lokius one-shot #oneshot #loki x mobius oneshot

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rachetmath · 3 years

Text

Favorite (Characters)

Ruby: *barges in* RatchetMath!

Me: What is it Ruby?

Ruby: You’re showing favoritism.

Me: Okay. And?

Ruby: You need to stop. Why not draw us for once?

Me: Hm, maybe because I like Jaune more. Hell I like Penny and Neo more than you or your team.

Ruby: Why?!

Me: Because your team is horrible.

Ruby: So is team JNPR!

Me: Yeah, but only because they have to follow you. They have some individuality but we don’t explore that as much. Plus, your team would be dead without them. But you know what Ruby, I would rather draw Yang, Blake or any other character except Weiss than you right now.

Ruby: What?! But I’m-

Me: The main character that barely does main character things. Woman, Salem was in Atlas! Why was she not your top priority? Why was James your problem?

Ruby: Um well…

Me: Ruby, she knows your mother! She might know what happened to her! I get Yang was some levels your mom but shouldn’t learning what happened to your actual mom be just as important? Especially after that dark memory.

Ruby: That is true.

Me: You have silver eyes but you still don’t know how to use them. There was army of grimm around Mantle and that would have been good practice. And a better solution than Ren.

Ruby: But then I be overpowered.

Me: No. Ruby your silver eyes only work on one person. If someone sneaks up on you or doesn’t care about that light you give off then, you’re dead. Maria is proof on that.

Ruby: Um..

Me: Plus, the question that everyone in the audience could have an answer to is whether your silver eyes can even work on Salem. In all honesty, it proves the writer don’t keep track of the characters and their personalities to where they fit together in story. You know what I have been making skits, trying to be funny but… the jokes died. Look guys I-I’m sorry but… let me explain.

1. Ruby and Blake should have stayed in Mantle. Why?

1. Salem is the main villian. She knows Ruby’s mother. You know the same mother who left for a mission and didn’t come back. The same mother, who Ruby knows nothing about while everyone seems to have different perspectives of her. Or has a better clue on who she is, than Ruby herself. Plus wasn’t Salem after her too? She basically would be killing two birds with one stone by kidnapping Oscar and giving Ruby a reason to see her. That way Ruby isn’t assuming what happened to her mother. Let Salem antagonize Ruby. (Question: Can silver eyes work on Salem?)

2. Perfect training for silver eyes. Let’s face it, Ren proved to us he can mask a bunch of people without Jaune’s help. All he needed was concentration. However, Ruby is more effective because silver eyes seem to be able to destroy multiple grimm on sight. And with lives on the line that gives Ruby plenty of reason to start using them.

3. Ren calling Ruby out on her issues. Look I loved how Ren was willing to tell the truth, but him revealing Jaune cheated Beacon was… weak. Reason being it relates to Jaune’s character and Ren still follows Jaune’s orders. However, Ruby, who is supposed to be a prodigy because she came to Beacon two years ahead of her class, has not proven once that she is worthy of such praise. The only reason-The ONLY reason Ruby was enrolled into Beacon was her silver eyes. Ruby even in volume one has been nothing but liability. Initiations, she almost dies from a Stinger. Stake out, she almost got run over by a truck and it ended in failure. First mission, she gets kidnapped and almost destroyed a city block. Roman, a man with no semblance or aura continues to beat her four times in a row. And it gets worse. Ruby almost got her uncle killed. She was the first to get knocked out by Emerald. Almost dies by a robot and Godzilla. And the moment she arrived in Atlas her first move was to lie to James. She didn’t even try to stop Tyrian when she saw him. She had her gun with her too. Ren is not her sister, he might as well tell her the facts so she can do better.

4. Blake is Faunus. Mantle hates faunuses. Why not have Blake help them to prove faunuses are people too? Let Blake represent her people. I mean Velvet and Sun represent faunses more than she does her whole existence. Blake also can relate to Ren’s problem. How? Blake was a part of the White Fang, so there were expectations she had to fulfill. Especially when trying to measure up to Adam. However, she explains the longer she was in the White Fang, the more she found out how messed up and extremely bias it was. Including with Adam to the point she decided to leave. She even states she was lucky that Yang even forgave her after all the trouble she caused her. Blake challenged her bias nature, and it made her stronger for it. Blake would be basically telling Ren the more he tries to live up to someone else’s expectations, without seeing their flaws, the more he loses touch with himself and everyone around him.

5. Oscar shouldn’t have been able break out of Salem on his own: I’m sorry but… Oscar got beat up. Took a magic beam to the chest. Had to switch between him and Ozpin and mind you he had no aura to help him. He should be tired and unable to move. (In my opinion, this kid was given too much screen time. At first I was worried about him but now I’m wondering why was I worrying at all.)

2. Jaune and Yang should have gone to Atlas.

1. Penny is basically Pyrrha in the opposite light. Penny’s special because she’s a robot with a soul, a mind of her own and an attitude to prove it. She is just as human as everyone else, but no one seems to treat her as such. James only sees her as something of a weapon. Pietro treats her like child even though she’s more mature than the rest of the female cast, except Maria. And now with maiden powers, everyone is out casting Penny even more. Jaune is perfect for her because he has experience with this kind of issue. However, he would’ve had to take different route to the situation considering his failure with Pyrrha last time they had discussion on maiden powers or responsibilities (Destiny.).

2. Jaune already has been a part of maiden business since volume three. His reason to be with Penny would be make sure she doesn’t meet the same fate as Pyrrha or Amber. Not just for himself but for others around him. Especially since Cinder was in Atlas and is willing to hunt her down for the maiden powers. And James was willing to turn Penny into a soulless machine to follow his every command. (Actually, Watts is more a fault considering he hates Pietro.). James and Cinder are also opposite to Jaune in some ways. James earned his position and earned respect from his military. Jaune on the other hand cheated, and unlike James might not have everybody’s respect. Cinder treats her allies like tools. And with power she just consumes and gives nothing return. Jaune however treats his allies like family. And instead of just taking power he gives power to others around him. He’s the reason Cinder has maiden powers. So, him making it his personal mission to make sure Cinder doesn’t get more power only increases his resolve to protect Penny. (Especially since he already had to kill her in the canon finale.) In other words, James and Cinder purposed a challenge to Jaune. Can he pervert history from repeating itself? Can he really protect the maiden powers? Is he truly worthy of being a huntsman? What is he willing to risk in achieving his goal? (Also let’s be clear. Hazel beat Oscar down for the password to the relic. James shot the kid and was willing to let him fall to his death. Qrow intentionally punched the kid. I don’t care if it was for Ozpin, he still punched Oscar. Lion before even knowing Oscar was Ozpin reincarnation was already about kill him anyways. All Jaune did was push him to a wall. Yes, Jaune still would have hurt Oscar, but he didn’t. He walked away.)

3. A lot of the situations could’ve been avoided or mattered if Jaune was there. Don’t believe me? Well let me explain. Was Ruby the only option when sneaking pass Central Command? No, because they had Weiss, Nora and Penny. Weiss could have done a freezer burn like in her fight with Marrow. Or Nora could have thrown her grenades and Penny just shoots them before the hit the ground or damage anything. Both causing a smoke screen, so no one sees them. Plus, they were already caught by using Pietro credentials. Did Nora need to get knocked out for the team to escape? No. If she had Jaune with her they could’ve one caused an EMP wave being Jaune has gravity and Nora has lightning. Or two, if Nora still went through with it, Jaune would have healed her immediately. Penny lifting and keeping the arena in place. If Jaune and Weiss were with her then once Amity was in position, Weiss with Jaune’s assistances can keep it place so Penny can come back inside and the whole video could be played. Also, Pietro would know what was going on with his daughter and can properly explain how to fix her. (Better than Jaune healing her.)

4. Nora’s whole character is knowing who she is without Ren right? Then why not just have her lead the evacuation once she’s done with Atlas? Why not have her and Yang work together along with the happy huntress to evacuate Mantle? Especially if their friends disappeared to save Oscar. (And before ya’ll tell me they can’t do it….. Yang, blocked a punch from a mech, held off a Manticore, and has a semblance that literally lets her take damage and dish it back five times harder. Nora who literally crushed Weiss and Yang in a food fight. Knocked a giant horse down on its knee. And knocked Hazel away. Are you seriously saying these girls are not enough to take on a few little tigers? Come on!) If the whole point of Nora’s character development was finding out more about herself then let Nora try something without Ren. Let her call the shots. Let her take charge. Give her a character. (Hell don’t stop there. Have her interact with other characters. Like Jaune. Yang. Weiss. Or anyone other character than Ren. Let them tell her what they think about her. Let Nora be a solution to a character’s struggle. Ya’ll make it sound like Nora has no friends.)

5. All Yang needed was a break from Ruby and Blake. In all honesty Yang should have been the one to see the hounds face and kill it. Why? Well Ruby is Yang’s sister and only reminder of her nonblood related mother. And Blake is her girlfriend. And if we saw the hound’s face, we know it’s not just a silver eyed person. It’s also a faunus. This will give her a reason to protect both her loved ones because by seeing the hound she knows Salem intention with Ruby and want to keep her, and Blake from meeting the same fate of being turned into monsters. Yang should’ve been the 2nd to 4th member of team RWBY to fall. Why? One, a Yang vs Neo fight. Two, Cinder and Neo both wanted Ruby dead. So why not get rid of Ruby first? The fights would have been more thrilling and seeing the character, the show is named after, presumed to be dead would have added stakes and tension to the fight. (Also let me say this. Why is it, that the only great display of the maiden powers I’ve ever seen, was from Amber and not the maidens, as of now, Winter, Raven, and Cinder? The maiden powers are basically magic right? Why isn’t Cinder using any other element than fire?)

6. Weiss was completely useless. Look, as the saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” And when it came to Weiss and family, she has little to no clue of what it is nor deserves it. Weiss should have been more of an inspiration for Whitley to do right. How? By simply talking to him. What reason would she have other than Mantle? Simple, he’s her brother and she started off like him. Beacon, she was a brat. She was arrogant. And more importantly a jerk. Blake ran because of her racist attitude. Ruby literally had to impress her to prove she can be leader. Even though Weiss is not leadership martial herself. Plus, hearing May and how she and her family never resolved their issues should inspire Weiss to not repeat that mistake. And guess what, her mom, Willow, the drinker of the family, wasn’t wrong. Both her and Winter left Whitley alone. Klein wasn’t there for him either. All Whitley had was his father. So Weiss, actually acting like his sister and trying to help him allows him to feel less alone. Instead Weiss was complete Jacque through out the entire volume.

And that’s all. Look I know I should have seen this coming but I had to say it. Volume 8 could’ve been good. The problem was.

1. Characters are not placed well within the story.

2. We lost track of who said characters are.

3. The ships are in the way.

4. Being dumb for the plot. (Sometimes it’s necessary.)

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redorich · 3 years

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-slips into your inbox-

Hullo red, 'tis me, Fidget. Here to haunt your inbox because you have gravely wounded me with so many things today.

First of all, sad Phil. God, he guts me. 'Impulse has a family, he does not need Philza.' has ripped out my heart. Please, this man has been trough so much. Willbur died by his own hands, Tommy he almost killed because he believed dream, and apparently not even Techno trusts him. After all, he did keep Tommy's location a secret from even him for a long time. (That Techno is loyal to a fault does not matter in this horrible interpretation of things.)

And then.

And THEN you hit me with the replaced family bit? Bdkandjakyba. My heart is weak and fragile, please Red.. Please I just... Want this family to heal a little. Someone please teach Phil that he can not shoulder the burden of the world by himself, that he was just one man in a war torn world who did the best he could. And his best wasn't good enough, but that doesn't mean he wasn't trying, that he is a bad person for it.

Like, Tommy had a whole, peaceful Server of well adjusted adults looking out for him and Phil had his bootstraps and the voices of the blood god first in his own and then in Techno's head.

It must've been hard to keep sane (I don't think he quite managed either.)

And maybe Phil doesn't go to see impulse to help him. Because he can see that the hermits are doing a much better job than he ever could, can see that Impulse is getting better not worse like Phil did all that time ago.

But Impulse now helped to save two of his sons. Perhaps Phil ought to make the journey and thank him, shoulders heavy with broken wings and broken hopes. He couldn't give his family what they needed, but impulse could. The hermits could.

It would be rude to leave this deed unacknowledged. (Perhaps Impulse or another hermit who's around sees the Trauma that seems to cling to this family like tar and thinks: Oh, it's free real estate(for adoption). You did mention Xisuma likes to adopt sad people.)

Cleo keeps nudging Philza to talk to Impulse. Philza's friendship with Cleo is new, so he can't yet tell whether it's an "as an immortal I'm telling you not to make a mistake" thing or an "I'm a nosy little weasel" thing. Not that Philza would ever call Cleo a nosy little weasel to her face, even if she'd probably take it as a compliment.

So, he goes and says hello to Impulse in his giant quartz base, even though he doesn't want to. Impulse, for his part, looks a bit taken aback, but takes the visit in stride.

“Y’know, call me crazy, but I got the impression that you don’t like me much,” Impulse laughs awkwardly.

Philza tilts his head, recalling his interactions with Impulse-- or rather, lack thereof. “Oh, ‘cause I was avoiding you?”

Impulse starts, caught off guard by the blatant admission. “Uh, yeah, I guess. Did I do something? I’m sorry if I did.”

Waving off the concern, Philza speaks freely. “Nah mate, you’re fine. I’ve got no quarrel with you. Anyway, I was just stopping by to say thank you. For-- for taking care of Tommy, and Techno too.” Philza smiles wryly. “’S more than I ever did for them, I guess.”

“You did plenty,” Impulse protests with a furrowed brow. “Techno talks about you all the time.”

The immortal blond blinks, as if he didn’t expect to hear that. “Eh,” he says in lieu of addressing it. Instead, he changes the topic completely.

“I’m trying out this whole ‘Hermit Therapy’ thing,” he says with a shrug, “so I guess that means I’m supposed to talk about my feelings or something? And I’m a grown-ass man, so that feels more than a bit condescending, but I suppose I’ll tell you my opinion so I can at least say I tried.”

Impulse winces at the harsh, uncaring way Philza addresses the situation. Should Impulse be offering Philza a place to sit? For all the redstone farms in the base, there isn’t a chair to be found. Philza doesn’t seem to care.

“I tried raising my kids. Failed.” Philza runs a hand through the long feathers on one of his wings. “You came in and taught Tommy more about being a person than I ever did. That’s fine, he deserves it. I can’t hold it against you.”

“I--” Impulse tries to interject, but Philza talks over him.

“You helped Techno-- I never did figure out how to do that. Again, he needed that, and I’d be a petty fool to get upset just because the person who gave him what he needed wasn’t me.” Philza’s mouth flattens into a grim line.

“But then,” he says, “you went above and beyond. You saw Kharneth hurting Techno-- my boy. And you gave him hope that Kharneth could be killed. Do you know how long I spent, trying to help him come to terms with the fact that Kharneth isn’t someone-- something that can or should be killed?”

Impulse leans back, shoving his hands in his pockets. He knows that Philza tried killing Kharneth, the Blood God, and paid a price, but...

Philza runs a jittery hand through his hair. “And then you did it! You killed the Blood God. And I thought, oh, this poor man doesn’t know what he’s done. Surely the Blood God’s powers will break this man’s mind-- after all, if I couldn’t handle it, how could this soft human hope to?”

Wincing again, Impulse stays quiet. Obviously Philza needs to say his piece.

“Then you did,” the immortal says. “Why is it that everything I’ve ever done, everything I’ve ever tried to do, you’re better at it than me? You’ve got my sons wrapped around your finger, you’ve got better control of those powers than I ever did, you’re goddamn happy,” the man spits.

“...I’m sorry you feel that way,” Impulse says in mild shock, groping for the right words.

“And the worst part!” Philza steamrolls over Impulse’s apology, “Is that I don’t even hate you!”

Impulse blinks. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re just...” Philza sighs, holding a wing in front of him like a shield. “You’re everything I wish I was, and I’m jealous and I’m mature enough to recognize that, but... is it weird of me to want to be friends with you too?”

Licking his lips, Impulse chooses his words carefully. “I’d love to be friends with you. For what it’s worth... You’ve got your own strengths, it’s just... harder for you to see them? Because you’re looking at everyone else’s strengths, comparing yourself to them, and evidently, uh. Finding yourself falling short.” He chuckles awkwardly. “I’d never last a month in a hardcore world.”

Philza looks away. “Hardcore, the one thing I’m known for. Easy enough for you to say.” He frowns, not because he’s upset with Impulse, but because he realizes he’s being a cantankerous bastard.

“I’m afraid I don’t know you too well,” Impulse says diplomatically. “Maybe... Yeah, let’s be friends.” He claps his hands together with the air of a man making a plan. “I’ll get to know you better, and then I can tell you what you’re good at, until you can learn to see it for yourself.”

The immortal swipes at Impulse’s head with a wing, but pulls the swing so that he only barely brushes the man with feather-tips. “Good lad,” he says gruffly, but he can’t quite hide his smile.

#mcyt #hc x dsmp #hermit!tommy au #impulsesv #philza #ph1lza #sleepy bois inc #zombiecleo #technoblade #me.cpp

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ramblingguy54 · 3 years

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True Colors: An Emotionally Fantastic Serious Game Changer.

If we’re to look back at Reunion as Season 1′s dramatic pay off for Amphibia’s message of toxic friendships, as Anne & Sasha’s conflicting dynamic showed us, then True Colors is a colossal expansive note on this big theme of the series. True Colors makes Season 1′s finale look like a walk in the park for what angst goes down between our three main heroins in Season 2′s climatic resolution. Everything that can go wrong does go oh so painfully wrong for these three kids. Anne, to no one’s surprise, gets double crossed by Sasha leaving things between them a Hell of a lot more bitter than they were previously, as if that couldn’t already be topped when Sasha tried to kill the Plantars before. Anne has had enough of her lies and manipulation not being afraid to tell Sasha straight up how awful of a friend she’s been in general, even hitting her where it hurts most of all saying, “No, I’m done listening to you! I’m done trusting you! You’re a horrible person and I am done being FRIENDS with you!”, going so far as to get a shaken reaction out of Sasha dropping her brave face act, making this girl try to wipe away the frog family.

Right off the bat, True Colors makes it highly evident this isn’t just another story of stopping a bigger threat, but one hitting much closer to home, overall. Yes, King Andrias is certainly a dangerous villain, who makes his presence and intimidating nature known to the others by True Color’s final act, which despite this Amphibia isn’t entirely putting him at the forefront, rather focusing on a more intimate study of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy’s big emotional conflict. This finale knows exactly where to put its focus of importance on, so I love that instead of it being action packed we’re getting the spotlight shined on just how screwed up these three of a friendship have, in spite of Marcy claiming in The Dinner episode, “We’re supposed to be friends for life. We don’t split up!’ . Very ironic stuff right there, indeed.

True Colors’ most powerful strength it adds to Amphibia’s ongoing profound story about healthy friendships is the thorough deconstruction of these girls defined “ideal relationship” as people. Before Anne came to the world of Amphibia this kid was afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even knowing especially well that stealing the calamity box was morally questionable, but did it anyway. Sasha was super manipulative, abusive, and used her power to control people, like she did a lot of toward Anne in their lives. Marcy, while very smart, wasn’t the most competent physically, who soon grew into being more independent without needing to rely on Anne always having to be there for her. These three were changed immensely by the events of being thrust into this world of sentient amphibian creatures. Anne benefited morally most out out of all three in taking up the mantle of responsibility and ironing out her own issues. She’s become a much stronger person all around.

This episode asks us an important question though in nutshell with, “Have Sasha & Marcy truly changed for the better?”, since Anne has reached a point in her arc feeling genuinely content with who she’s become and the bonds that have been made with the Plantar family shown most notably with Sprig Plantar. Hence the whole purpose behind the song, It’s No Big Deal, with Anne feeling proud for who she is, yet not noticing a bigger issue right underneath her nose. That previous episode was meant to bring Anne’s happiness up only to bring it all crashing down in a devastating display of new revelations in True Colors. Every dramatic emotional beat isn’t just earned. Each significant moment is completely knocked out of the park by terrific voice acting, beautiful animation, and music composition that gave me serious emotional goosebumps. True Colors did exactly as Not What He Seems accomplished for Gravity Falls in shaking up its own respective dramatic stakes just when you thought it couldn’t get any higher for these protagonists. Shit seriously hits the fan here.

Did it ever occur to you, Anne? Sasha? That one of you knew more, than she was letting on? That ONE of you might’ve gotten you stranded in Amphibia on purpose...?

The big bombshell twist of Marcy playing a part too in getting them into this whole debacle completely flips everything upside down. Sasha pushed Anne into taking the Calamity Box, yes, but if Marcy never sent that photo because of her desire to stay with them together forever, then they wouldn’t have been stranded in basically a world full of dangerous creatures and who knows what else. Easily my favorite part of the episode, considering it adds more nuance to a situation that defined Amphibia’s story. It wasn’t just one person’s fault at the end of the day. Sasha bullied Anne into taking the box, Anne didn’t put her foot down to make a stand for something morally questionable, and Marcy took advantage of them both to benefit her own selfish desires for supposedly a “happy ending” not involving them staying apart, due to her parents moving away for a new job. All three girls played an important part on why they got landed into Amphiba. It’s why Anne’s statement to King Andrias, “The three of us may have made some mistake, but you...You’re evil and I’m gonna stop you!”, holds such a real weight to it, as this story continues to solidify how genuinely fleshed out their dynamic is.

Marcy’s super desperate plea to be understood by Anne & Sasha when Andrias revealed her getting them thrown into Amphibia purposefully was hard to watch. On one hand, I felt for Marcy because she didn’t want real life circumstances to tear apart that close connection she had to Sasha & Anne. Sure, she could’ve just kept in touch with them over the phone or chatting online, too. However, Marcy had known them since very early childhood. When you’ve been so attached to someone it can be a devastating thing, depending on just how vulnerable you are emotionally, to start drifting apart. Marcy represents that embodiment of toxic need for togetherness and couldn’t bear to let a possibility, like moving away, throw a wrench into her happiness and friendship, as well.

Never mind Marcy wanting to stay permanently in a different reality, rather than face her’s, but it made this person feel like something more. It gave her a chance to feel truly special in being able to live out a fantasy dream of having such power and freedom that a kid, like herself, couldn’t have had. The freedom to know she is plenty capable of making it out there on her own without Anne having to watch this kid like a hawk. So, to have someone, or something, try taking it away from her terrified Marcy of facing a terrible truth. That she isn’t strong enough after all to live a life without Anne & Sasha by her side completely, where Marcy will never feel truly worthy enough to blossom into her own person. It’s why that line, “I just...didn’t want to be alone...”, carries such a deep pain to it all. Marcy just crumbles into pieces accepting her greatest weakness. As much as Marcy fumbled the ball big time, it’s so easy to empathize with her on the idea of feeling competent enough. Marcy never meant to hurt Anne or Sasha, but the sad crushing punchline is she very much did.

Speaking of which, Anne had every right to be upset and mad, obviously. Anne has been missing so many things from her life before everything went off the wall. Hopping Mall especially highlighted Anne’s emotional desire to give anything just to hear her mother’s singing again. This teenager has been really dealing with a lot of grief in general quite honestly. Anne got into a high stakes battle against Sasha to save new friends, who’d practically became like an adopted family, which left the poor girl traumatized and heartbroken over the end result. She thought finding Marcy would help compensate for it and eventually be able to mend those complications with Sasha to boot. It’s simply painful to see it all blow up in Anne’s face to know not only Sasha betrayed her trust yet again, but realizing Marcy also played a part of responsibility in getting them thrown here. Matt Braly really just decided to slap future trust issues onto Anne finding out Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy were all super dishonest in their intentions at one point or another. Damn, I feel so bad for her.

It makes their embracing hug back in Marcy At The Gates so much harder to watch. Anne was super glad to see her again. Anne had wondered what became of Marcy or even possibly started to think she could even be alive at all. Then come to find out later on Marcy having intentionally ripped her away from a normal life must’ve felt worse then what happened with Sasha. Anne, already done with all of Sasha’s bullshit, thought she could at least expect better from Marcy not letting her down, but that too wasn’t the case. Marcy is very much as flawed as Sasha in what she has done. To think, Anne wanted so badly to get back home, yet she’s staring the very person dead in the eye, who ripped her away from it to begin with. Marcy knew Sasha would talk Anne into taking the box from that thrift shop, even if she wasn’t completely certain it would successfully teleport them away. Regardless of whatever good intentions someone can have in why they did what they did, it still doesn’t absolve them of said mistake. Fact of the matter is, Marcy tragically made her own bed, by choosing to mess with forces she couldn’t begin to comprehend and now has to face consequences, in spite of her not deserving them.

What really got to me was when Marcy tried to spin around Anne’s personal growth and close friendship with the Plantars as all entirely thanks to her. When she said, “I gave you this! I gave you everything!”, I was like, “Nope, that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”, seeing everything that has culminated in Anne’s journey of bettering herself. Marcy didn’t give Anne anything, but a one way ticket to cutting the kid off from her family, presuming she’d be fine with this idea. It’s all kinds of messed up, however what it boils down to is Marcy undermining Anne’s independence and agency. Anne’s moral judgement in decision making was what allowed her to create this new life she made for herself in Amphibia. Anne’s honesty as a whole led her down a path of togetherness, while Marcy’s lying landed her in a result of not wanting to be alone, costing her so much.

“I don’t believe this. We were so focused on each other we couldn’t see what was right in front of us!”

True Colors excels at earning each of its emotional beats because they line up with character motivations down to the last letter. Anne doesn’t want to trust Sasha anymore because of their already rocky past, which leads to her helping King Andrias regain control of his kingdom. Sasha not keeping a lid on her temper, wanting to rule over Amphibia, and trying to reinforce that power dynamic with Anne & Marcy only made things worse for her image of a changed good friend. There wasn’t a chance in Hell Anne would hear Sasha’s reasoning after she flat out tried to take away her frog family, by attempting to use the Calamity Box a bit ago in the episode. Marcy wanted to believe there was a happily ever after in seeing this world traveling idea as their only chance for salvation as friends for life, but it turned out to be something much more sinister, when learning of Andrias’ backstory and his true scumbag nature. All three of their motivations come clashing together, blinding them from a much bigger danger. Something that effectively puts everyone at stake.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale works so excellently, given it covers important dramatic elements it’s been stirring around since Season 1′s early rumblings. Amphibia is a story centered around people’s need for emotional connections. True Colors builds miraculously off what Reunion already did quite well in showing friendships can become rough and they are never easy to deal with. When you have to make a stand it can be a tough pill to swallow on the reality check of maybe this “good friend” of your’s isn’t as nice as you previously thought them to be. Anne having been hurt one too many times now by her former friend sends that message close to home, so much so even Sasha begins to question her morality as a human being. It poignantly encapsulates how this trio’s complex friendship is a serious growing issue needing to be reexamined, overall.

What if Anne’s right..? What if I am a horrible person...?

Something I absolutely love to pieces about True Colors, also a testament to Season 2′s darn good writing, is how much introspective we get from each character on what they’re feeling. We’ve seen plenty of Sasha’s vulnerability before in other episodes centered on her issues, but now we’re getting to the root of it. Sasha is really taking everything more to heart, little by little. Sasha’s understanding what kind of an effect she has on people, seeing the damage it has caused made evident by Percy and Braddock in Barrel’s Warhammer. Grime once told her, “Some dreams have a price and not everyone is willing to pay it.”, where she’s questioning that idealism every passing minute the invasion plan proceeds further into reaching success. Sasha isn’t sure what to do with herself anymore feeling aimless. Those previous episodes had a real impact on her priorities more than she cared to let on with Sasha’s typical tough girl act. This kid has let her guard down more, which scares and confuses Sasha. She’s always used to playing the role of protector it contradicts everything Sasha stands for when the roles are totally reversed because now Anne has made her feel the tremendous change in their growth as individuals.

Sasha’s lifestyle has been all about control that after somewhat learning to be more considerate to Anne & Marcy’s feelings she feels beyond conflicted about what truly matters to her. The most screwed up part of it all is Sasha didn’t want to fight anymore, taking up a pacifist approach after seeing what King Andrias had been hiding from everyone. It’s a fitting punishment for Sasha to try bringing Anne over to work together once more, but getting her pleas for companionship outright ignored. Anne was correct that Sasha had wasted all the chances to be reasonable. Boonchuy tried to hear out Sasha before at The Third Temple. One wanted to start things over again to iron out their serious issues, but the other was driven by bitterness, while only remorseful to a degree at best, of seeing their once weak friend become so independent, mature, and stronger that it drove her up wall. Sasha wanted to take away that “problem” being the Plantars, since in her eyes they’re the source of Anne’s strength, driving a wedge further between the two girls in their heated Reunion 2.0 battle.

True Colors demonstrates the horrific price of no trust, communication, nor teamwork from the three main girls that Andrias smoothly took advantage of, as if they were fiddles.

“That’s the thing about friends isn’t it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

King Andrias is quite literally what I wanted Lunaris to be, where DuckTales’ Season 2 finale didn’t impress me on doing. He’s a serious big baddie to the main cast, who follows through on his threats of violence to demonstrate his wide array of arsenal and power. Andrias doesn’t just emotionally manipulate characters, like poor Marcy, but utterly crush them without an ounce of remorse for his actions. When he dropped Sprig out that window after Anne willingly let him have the Calamity Box back I thought they were legit gonna kill this boy off. The way Anne’s flashback montage of her good times with Sprig were eerily shot really didn’t help either on that note. Anne’s Calamity power finally activating is easily up there among stuff, like Dewey risking his life for Della’s disappearance in Last Crash, where the cinematography is shot and animated brilliantly. You feel Anne’s blind raging sadness in every hit she landed on those robots and Andrias. If anyone didn’t believe Sprig was like a little brother to Anne, then I dunno how anyone couldn’t view their bond anymore as such after this hugely defining scene. Anne went bloodthirsty when she believed Sprig to be dead further evidenced when she hugged him in relief afterwards exclaiming, “Sprig!? You’re alive!? Oh, thank goodness...”, which cuts deep so damn much.

Anne was ready to fight every one of Andrias’ troops in that castle to the death, if need be. Before Sprig came back from falling, thanks to Marcy’s quick acting, to comfort Anne, her only goal was to slaughter every opponent in that throne room, along with making Andrias pay dearly for even daring to lay a single finger on anyone of the Plantars. I’m not gonna lie, this pivotal power up reminded me so much Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 after Cell curb stomped Android 16 into pieces with a smirk on his face. Anne Boonchuy’s maddening outburst is a classic testament to the idea of, “Piss off the nicest person and they’ll make it their mission to instill the biggest kind of fear/terror into you.”. showing this kid at her most vulnerable mental state, yet. Sprig & Anne’s cathartic embrace really messed me up in reinforcing just how these two respect, love, and would go above any of their limitations to help the other out. Sprig’s “death” scene was a masterful bait by the writers into making us think someone was gonna die and it was gonna be a poor kid, no less.

However, it was actually all just a bait and switch for the real, “Oh, shit. They really just did that”, moment with Marcy unexpectedly getting run through with Andrias’ gigantic sword. In a last ditch effort, Marcy wanted to atone for what she had a hand in getting them all into. Marcy was ironclad determined in making her own stand for what was right trying to save the people she endangered. Akin to what Sasha did in Reunion for saving Anne’s life, Marcy does the exact same here. Although, unfortunately this time, no one is here to protect Marcy from escaping death, like Grime catching Sasha from plummeting at Toad Tower. Marcy couldn’t react in time because she was so focused on helping her dear friends out. She wanted to prove to herself at least one time, “I’ve screwed up so much stuff with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. If I get my friends back home, it’ll prove I’m not an entirely crappy person for setting these events into motion.”. Marcy’s own deep seeded remorse is what saved Anne & the Plantars, while being the cause of her own untimely demise at Andrias’ hands.

This scene is what no doubt encouraged the warning sign for younger viewers Disney decided to make for them. It’s impressive how far Matt and his crew are willing to go for intense dramatic content. Andrias trying to crush Polly with his fist after destroying Frobo with casual ease, dropping Sprig out of the window from up sky high, and stabbing Marcy with his powerful sword displays his cold blooded brutality. Doesn’t matter who you are. If you get in the way of Andrias’ plans for multiverse domination, then he’ll throw anyone into their own grave, be it man, woman, or child. That’s the mark of a truly terrifying antagonist.

Andrias didn’t care who had to be hurt or manipulated to get back the box, so he could invade other worlds with Earth being his next prime target for invasion. Marcy’s fate is a horrifyingly poetic statement, since Sasha stated to Anne in a flashback from Marcy At The Gates, “One of these days, she’s gonna get herself killed.”, with True Colors tying back to this line in a disturbing manner. Something that sends chills down my spine is we get to see the full extent of how far Andrias shoved the sword through her body. We don’t just see the entry point of where it hit her, but it even zooms out to show the whole thing. Real talk, I got serious Avatar The Last Airbender vibes from this scene. Reminded me so much of Aang getting suddenly zapped with lightning by Azula when he tried to enter the Avatar state. Marcy didn’t want to be alone so badly she ended up inevitably dying alone trying to send Anne back home to their reality. One Hell of a way to close off Marcy’s last moments in Season 2, until her inevitable resurrection happens in Season 3 now that King Andrias has her in a tube tank that looks tied to his master.

True Colors ends on a deeply bittersweet cliffhanger leaving the fates of Sasha & Grime totally unknown if they’ll get away by the skin of their teeth, or get captured by Andrias’ soldiers and robots. Anne finally returned home with the Plantars, but at a deadly cost of leaving her other close friends behind in Amphibia. After all the isolation, heartbreak, and endurance she went through with her frog family Anne finds herself at a total loss for words. Once again, Anne is in a state of solitude of not knowing if her friends are really okay or not, mirroring the start of Season 1 when she landed into Amphibia’s world. It’s safe to say to say that, “Finally me and it’s no big deal.”, lyrics have aged terribly for Anne’s realization of finding her own identity came at the expense of getting separated from friends she’s known since kindergarten. Definitely see Anne becoming a lot more protective of the Plantars now more than ever after watching Marcy drop to the ground from being stabbed in front of her eyes.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale is exactly how you capitalize on a winning story telling formula of dramatic writing, lovable characters with layered depth, and increasing the stakes of your story in an organic manner. True Colors is a finale that should be talked about for a long time to come, as it not only showed how worth the wait it was, but reinforces why Amphibia is a truly great series. It’s unafraid to take its characters to dark places in a way that feels totally earned.

Amphibia Season 2 is everything a sequel to a first film should be.

#amphibia true colors #amphibia spoilers #amphibia season 2 #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #sprig plantar #polly plantar #hop pop plantar

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el-gilliath · 3 years

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His Body is my Revelation

This is a remix of @prouvaireafterdark story Her Body is my Coffin which is a stunning Belmanes fic, and so damn hot. My intention was to make this longer, and hotter to match the original, but life got in the way so this is what it ended up being. I hope you still like it though!

Ao3

He’s getting married in 15 minutes. Fifteen. Minutes. That’s all the time in the world he has left as a single man. Well, a taken man but he hasn’t been weighed down by a paper making him an official husband. The title of Fiancé hasn’t really felt heavy, but his brain keeps telling him that Husband will. It’s making his palms sweat, and that age old insecurity creep along the base of his spine until it settles in the middle of neck, the spot where Alex likes to run his fingers because of how soft his hair is there, because of how close it makes them when they lean their foreheads together and he just holds him in that loose embrace of his that Michael loves. The one that makes him feel safer than most anything in the world.

He misses that touch now, standing there in the way-too-expensive suit Isobel bought him, the suit he’s going to marry Alex in. The suit he’ll finally get to say they made it in. Unless the insecurity takes complete control and he runs out before he can heave on the floor.

“You look way too nervous for this to be the happiest day of your life.”

Michael whirls around, eyes wide and an excuse ready on his lips before he sees the smile on Alex’s lips. Tinged with nervous energy like he is.

“Oh thank fuck you’re nervous too.”

Alex laughs loudly, shaking his head as his hands rub over his face a time or two. “I didn’t think I would be but I guess wedding jitters hit everyone.”

He takes a deep breath, his eyes meeting Michael’s as he does. “I want this though, I want you.”

“Hey, no,” Michael says, stepping closer and cradling Alex’s face in his hands. ”Me too, I want you, this, everything. It’s just...”

“Nerves. Insecurity. Our brains being stupid,” Alex replies, moving Michael’s hands down to his waist before his own circles his neck, his fingers landing right in the spot where Michael always wants them at the base of his neck. “We decided this together, we’re doing it together. We just have to relax.”

“And how do we do that?”

“Well. We could always fool around.”

Michael gives him a surprised, yet interested look. He’s always interested in fooling around with Alex. Alex just waggles his eyebrows, just enough to be silly and break the nervous hold on both of them, but also enough for Michael to know he really means it. And Michael will never say no to that.

“We’re getting married in ten minutes.”

“Plenty of time,” Alex says, pulling Michael towards him and their lips meet in the sweetest of kisses. It’s calming, soothing, wonderful, and Michael feels his nervousness diminish by the second as their lips move into an open mouthed kiss, tongues brushing together, hands clutching just a little bit tighter. It’s hot, so damn hot, the way it always is, and Michael feels his dick stirring in his way-too-expensive dress pants.

“I was thinking about you last night,” Alex says in between kisses. They’d done the traditional thing and spent last night apart. “Thinking about fucking my husband tonight. How our rings will clink together, how it’ll feel when you run your hands over my body with it on.”

“Alex,” Michael breathes out. “You need to get your hands down my pants, now.”

Alex chuckles but does as asked, one hand coming down to cup his hard dick as the other opens the button and pulls down the zipper slowly. Michael does the same, claiming Alex’s lips in a hot and heavy kiss as he does. He groans as Alex pushes down his pants and boxers just enough for his dick to jump out, groans louder when Alex immediately circles it and runs a thumb over the head.

“How did I get so lucky, to get to marry you,” Alex whispers as he breaks the kiss, his hand moving up and down in a practiced move that never fails to make Michael shiver.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m the lucky one,” Michael replies, his voice wobbly as his head falls back, his eyes closing at the sinfully good feeling of Alex’s hands on him. He can feel the way it makes Alex smile when he leans forward and starts kissing his throat. Sloppy, hot kisses, his tongue and teeth coming out to play in a way Michael knows is going to leave a mark.

His hands grip Alex’s hips, his thumbs sneaking under Alex’s shirt to feel skin, pushing his hips forward into the hand working his dick like magic. It’s just the way he likes it, just the right kind of way that only Alex can make him feel. It’s a heady feeling to be known so well, especially from the guy that he’s going to marry. Finally, after all these years, he gets to marry the love of his life.

He starts slightly at the feeling of teeth in his neck, relaxes again at the tongue and lips running over the sting in a pseudo-apology.

“Focus on me Michael, not on your thoughts,” Alex says, a slightly steely note to his words that Michael knows he doesn’t mean.

“My focus is always on you,” he replies, groaning as Alex tightens his fist and starts jerking him off in earnest.

“Good. Now you better come so we can go and get married.”

Michael snorts, a snort that’s quickly swallowed by Alex kissing him hard. It’s too hot for him to do anything but hold on after that, his mouth plundered by Alex while his hand does everything to wring an orgasm out of him. It builds in his belly, singes along his every nerve as he clings to the feeling of Alex all around him.

He comes, hot and hard, to the thought that he will get to have this forever.

He pants against Alex’s lips, floating happily as Alex cleans him up and buttons his dress pants.

“You feeling less nervous now?”

Michael laughs. “I don’t even know what that word means.”

———

It’s later when they’re sharing their first dance that he starts chuckling against Alex’s neck. Alex pulls back to give him an inquisitive look. He’s glowing, happy, relaxed. He’s never looked more beautiful to Michael.

“What’re you laughing at?”

“You know earlier when we were in the room?”

Alex rolls his eyes fondly. “Obviously.”

“Your brother and my sister were doing the same thing in the other room.”

“Eww.” Alex’s nose crinkles in disgust and Michael laughs harder.

“Straight sex that obnoxious to you?”

“No. But any sex involving my brother is.”

Michael’s laugh softens, until only a smile remains as he looks at his new husband. His husband. And never has something felt so right in his brain as calling Alex just that.

“I promise not to tell you when your sister-in-law and my brother-in-law do the dirty ever again.”

“Hey,” Alex says. “If you want to tell me, I want to hear it. Forever.”

Michael looks over at Isobel and Gregory, sees how they’re leaning against one another, sees their obvious affection and love. He’s happy for them, especially happy for Isobel. She’s been through enough, she deserves to be loved. And maybe, just maybe, Gregory can mellow her out just a little. She deserves that too.

But for now he’ll leave them be, and not worry about what’ll happen in Isobel’s life. She’s a big girl, and he has more important things to think about. He’s at the beginning of a new era, one he’s wanted for a long time. One he never thought he would get, nor deserve. And here he is, married to Alex. The man he’s loved since he was 17, when he took a leap of faith that might’ve ended horribly at the time, but was still the start of something that would eventually be great. He knows now that without their pasts and the things they learned both separately and together, they might not have ended up here. But they did, and he’s the happiest he’s ever been.

“I’d love to tell you all about it. Forever.”

#malex #malex fic #my fic #roswell new mexico #michael guerin #alex manes #malexremix2021 #malexremix #look at me writing fluff though

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sergeantsporks · 3 years

Text

What Greater Good Do I Have Than You?

Rating: Gen, General Audiences

The titans' hunger must be sated, Merlin knows this. But he wishes he weren't the one who had to do it

@alovesongshewrote said something about “do you think Merlin would kill Douxie for the greater good” and my brain went clickity clack and here we are :D

Ao3

The titans had to be fed.

It was necessary. To maintain order. Balance. Magicians lived forever if not killed—and yet more and more would be born.

So every millennium, a wizard had to die. They had to be killed where their magic could return to the earth, replenishing the earth’s supply, keeping the titans asleep and the Order happy.

That was Merlin’s purpose. It was his calling. It was why he’d been born—to maintain the greater good, to choose a young wizard every millennium to die. To train them, to grow and shape their magic into the perfect vessel, then kill them like a sacrificial lamb.

To raise children for the slaughter.

Again and again.

Apprentices gained and lost.

It became routine. He had to kill them. He needed to kill his apprentice.

Not this one.

He didn’t have a choice—this was how the balance was maintained.

Not Hisirdoux.

He’d killed his last apprentice around a century ago. That one had been harder—that one had grabbed his hand, with tears in her eyes, and had asked simply, why? She hadn’t begged for her life, hadn’t fought back. Simply asked why. He’d needed a break, needed to take a step back from all of the killing.

Arthur had handed him an apprentice on a silver platter, his sister, Morgana. Considerate, given that the fool kept slaughtering magicians in his war against magic. A waste. So many magical lives lost, but none of them in the right place or the right way to maintain the balance.

But Morgana grew too powerful too fast. She forged her own path, far too quickly. Merlin wasn’t able to shape her magic, and she never listened to him.

So when he stumbled across a spellcaster nearly getting his head sliced off by Arthur’s knights, he stepped in. The boy was appropriately grateful. Said he owed Merlin his life.

Something about that hit a nerve. Something about… never mind. It didn’t matter. He had an appropriate sacrifice, and it was time to begin to mold his magic.

Hisirdoux was one of the worst apprentices Merlin had ever had. He was clumsy, used magic as a shortcut to everything, and didn’t follow instructions properly ever.

It was all oddly endearing.

And as he spent more and more time with Hisirdoux (and he had to spend lots of time with him, had to oversee most of his training personally instead of assigning a book to read, because the boy would not learn the spell right if he just read it out of a book, by the seven rings, Merlin was starting to think he was doing it on purpose) he started to… grow fond of him. He found himself wondering if he could skip the sacrifice this time.

But that was ridiculous. He couldn’t—even if he did, Hisirdoux wouldn’t live long enough for it to matter, because the Order would note the lack in the balance, the titans would awaken, and they would all be destroyed.

Maybe he could find a replacement?

What was he thinking?! He’d never taken more than one apprentice at a time, what if one of them asked what had happened to the other? He couldn’t risk Hisirdoux becoming friends with some other apprentice and then trying to prevent their death!

He still found some girl spellcaster anyway, rescued her from Arthur’s knights. She headbutted him in the face and ran away as thanks. So that plan went out the window.

He had time, he had plenty of time, he had 900 years to find a replacement. Or find a way to stop growing so blasted attached to this oaf of an apprentice who broke everything he touched and would likely break his old heart as well.

In the past, Merlin had always managed to find some flaw with his apprentices, one that he exaggerated in his mind until he could pretend it wasn’t such a horrible thing to kill them.

Hisirdoux’s only flaw appeared to be that he cared a little too much. His sweet, trusting apprentice that looked up to him. That and he was clumsy. Merlin could work with that.

So he blew his apprentice’s clumsiness out of proportion. He scolded him every time he dropped something, expressed exasperation that he couldn’t do anything right.

Part of him hoped Hisirdoux would get fed up with it all and run away, where Merlin could never find him again.

But of course he didn’t. No. Of course not. Hisirdoux stayed, no matter how many times Merlin yelled at him, always with that same quiet determination, always sticking with him no matter how hard it got.

He was so determined to become a master wizard, to get his wizard’s staff. Merlin almost wanted to give him one, wanted him to live long enough to become a master wizard.

Morgana was right.

He was an old fool.

And then, one day, he found his apprentice locked in a wardrobe, under a sleeping spell.

Even though he’d just seen his apprentice a few moments ago.

Wonderful.

He confronted the other Hisirdoux, and found out that he was from the future.

900 years to be exact.

Right around when it would be time for the sacrifice.

According to this other Hisirdoux, the Order had attacked them.

So he hadn’t managed to kill Hisirdoux. Hadn’t even tried, based on the way his apprentice treated him.

It was… relieving to hear. Far too relieving, he told himself, considering that it heralded the end times.

When this future Hisirdoux kept arguing, kept pressing him, he shouted that he wouldn’t lose another apprentice. He’d been talking about Morgana, but he realized he couldn’t lose Hisirdoux. He couldn’t kill him, couldn’t kill a single other apprentice, and especially not Hisirdoux.

But… Hisirdoux hadn’t come alone. He’d brought along a young sorceress.

The wheels started turning in Merlin’s mind. He watched as Hisirdoux began to train the girl. As if he knew what a master wizard taking on an apprentice meant—as if he knew what came at the end.

But still.

Still the gears in Merlin’s head clicked quietly, formulating a new plan. The timing would be tricky, there would be such a small window. It wasn’t worth the risk, he shouldn’t go through with it.

But then, timing things was exactly his forte.

Hisirdoux would get his staff. He would be a master wizard.

With all that it entailed.

Still, when Merlin gave him the staff, he didn’t tell him the price of being a master wizard.

He didn’t tell his apprentice his original fate, the fate he was now changing. No, that was a job for himself in 900 years.

They sealed away Morgana, and the gears once again began turning.

Wait 900 years.

Bring the frozen Morgana to the Primal Heartstone.

Free her.

Perform the ceremony.

The magic might not be perfect, since he never had trained her very well, but it would do.

Hisirdoux didn’t ever need to know. He could keep his apprentice, and he didn’t have to put his burden, his heavy, heavy burden, on his son’s shoulders. He could continue on quietly, continue on loathing himself while Hisirdoux lived a long, happy life with his student.

Yes. This would work.

It didn’t work.

Things went wrong from the moment the trollhunter woke him up. And before he knew what was happening, Morgana was dead, and he was back to square one.

Kill Hisirdoux, or put his own burden on his apprentice’s shoulders?

Merlin watched as his son tumbled down into the time portal. He was running out of options!

Douxie returned moments later with his staff.

Maybe it was too late. Maybe it was all over.

No. No. He’d spent too long protecting this world, keeping the balance, losing his own soul to do so. He couldn’t stop now, not now that he finally had someone else to live for. Someone that he was actually protecting the world for.

Young Claire insisted that they go after the trollhunter. Merlin heaved a deep sigh.

“I know of a way to put off the order,” he admitted, “It will delay them for a millennia—that may give us an opportunity to retrieve Jim Lake Junior.”

“Then we’ll do it,” Hisirdoux said confidently.

Blast.

There was only one way to keep Hisirdoux alive. And there was absolutely no way for him to not find out.

Merlin had the ability to open a portal to one singular place. One of fate’s cruel machinations. And open it he did, taking Hisirdoux and Claire through to a place below trollmarket, to the last remaining Primal Heartstone. He sucked in a deep breath.

“Hisirdoux. You wanted to become a master wizard. I have granted you your staff, but there is one last thing I must teach you.”

Claire balked. “I don’t like this place.”

Before she could react, Merlin bound her to the heartstone with his magic. Hisirdoux yelped.

“Master! No! What are you doing?!”

“To keep the balance, to delay the order, a sacrifice must be made. A sacrifice of magic.

“No! You can’t! Not to Claire!”

Merlin could see it. The moment the realization hit him.

“Wait… Were you… planning to kill me?”

Merlin didn’t answer, but he was sure his silence said just as much.

Hisirdoux’s eyes filled with tears, and he gasped like he couldn’t breathe. “This whole time—you were planning on killing me? From the moment you rescued me in the alley—you saved me just so you could kill me later?!”

Merlin created a knife with his magic and held it hilt out towards his son. “Hisirdoux, it is the only way to keep the balance! Master must kill the apprentice—you said you wanted to be a master wizard, well, this is what it entails!”

Hisirdoux pushed the knife away, standing in front of Claire, his arms out. “Then do it. Kill me, like you originally planned. Because I won’t let you harm Claire.”

“Douxie, no!” Claire yelled. Her eyes sparked with magic, but the place was designed for the slaughter of wizards. Merlin’s magic held her.

Hisirdoux’s shoulders were trembling, but he managed a smile. “It’s okay, Claire. This way you can save Jim.”

Merlin’s own hand was shaking on the knife. “Hisirdoux, move! I don’t want to kill you! If you won’t kill Miss Nunez, then I’m afraid I will have to, but I will not lose you!”

“No! If you want to kill someone, if you really think that it’s necessary to save the world… I’m not going to let it be my friends. The only reason I’m alive today is because you planned to kill me. I’m not supposed to be here—my life is forfeit anyway. So do it. Let Claire live.”

Merlin raised the knife, his whole body shaking so hard he thought he might stab himself. Hisirdoux squeezed his eyes shut.

Merlin’s arm fell. “I can’t,” he whispered, so quietly he could barely hear himself.

His son turned his face away, tears leaking out of the corners of his closed eyes. “What are you waiting for? Just do it!”

Merlin hurled the knife down to the ground with a clang. “I CAN’T!” he shouted. He released the magic holding Claire. “Kill me instead,” he told Hisirdoux, collapsing to his knees in front of the heartstone, “I cannot kill you, and you will not kill Claire. So kill me instead.”

“What? No! We’ll find another way!”

“I might kill him,” Claire offered.

Merlin transferred the discarded knife to Hisirdoux’s hands with a spell. “Do it. I’ve killed so many apprentices. I cannot continue doing this—please. Avenge them. It is only fitting for me to die at the hands of my own apprentice, after I killed so many. Kill me, stave off the Order, save the trollhunter. You’ll have a millennium to find your other way—I could have looked for another way, should have looked for another way all this time. But I didn’t. That is my failing.”

Hisirdoux dismissed the knife in a puff of blue smoke, offering Merlin a hand up. “No. No more deaths, no more sacrificing wizards to this. We’re finding another way. We’ll save Jim. We’ll fight the Order. But I’m not going to continue this cycle.”

“Is every life so precious to you?” Merlin mumbled, “Even a life as decrepit and horrendous as my own?”

“Every life. We just lost Jim—I’m not losing anyone else. Not like this.” Hisirdoux pulled Merlin up to his feet. “You want to make up for what you did to your other apprentices so badly? You won’t do it by dying. You have to live, and repair the mistakes you made. You can accomplish good things, I know it, but you can’t do that if you die here.”

Merlin felt his eyes grow suspiciously wet. “What could I possibly accomplish that would be greater than saving you?”

His son’s eyes teared up, but he brushed them away and nodded to the still-open portal. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

#toa #tales of arcadia #merlin ambrosius #toa fanfic #my writing #douxie #claire nuñez

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sometimes-iwritestuff · 3 years

Text

Splash!

Kara was in the zone before she even stepped onto the poolside. It was the National Diving Championships and Kara had been training upwards of 30 hours a week, her season had been great.

She was one of the best 10m platform divers in the country, a shoe in for a spot on the National Team, heading to the World Championships in a few weeks. All she had to do was secure a spot on the podium in this competition, not that she’d be happy with anything else than gold.

The only competitor she really had to worry about was Lena fucking Luthor: she was a member of Metropolis Diving Club and had been Kara’s arch rival since they began

competing more than 10 years ago. Of course National City Diving Club was the best club in the country, no competition, in Kara’s eyes but MDC were up there among the best, majority of the National Team trained in Metropolis.

“Hey, Danvers.” Kara rolled her eyes, she could already hear the smirk in Lena’s voice. She stopped riffling through her bag and turned, scowl permanently fixed on her face. “Aww, don’t do that, you’ll give yourself wrinkles.” Lena pouted.

“What do you want, Luthor?” Kara sighed.

“I just came to wish you good luck. You’re going to need it.” She paired the condescending statement with a sweet smile.

“Shouldn’t you be over there with your team, Luthor?” Alex said, coming to her sisters aid.

“Do you always let your sister fight your battles for you?” Lena pouted, Kara growled and took a step towards her. Lena just laughed, not intimidated at all by Kara “The Human Puppy” Danvers. She tapped her on the nose and sauntered away, swinging her hips.

“You always let her rile you up,” Alex groaned.

“Yes, Alex! I’m very aware of that fact, but she is incredibly fucking irritating!”

“Kara!” J’onn chided, he looked at the floor. Kara growled through her gritted teeth and dropped onto the floor to do her set of push-ups, she kept her eyes on Lena who was stretching across the poolside.

She was shorter than Kara, her body the perfect mixture of hard muscle and soft curves, not the traditional body type for a diver which meant she had to work extra hard to make sure she was perfect.

Kara was tall and muscular with long, lean legs and a natural talent for the sport. That didn’t mean she didn’t work as hard, Kara was the most dedicated athlete on the team, she adored the sport and would put in the same amount of effort in the dryland as she did in the pool.

“Maybe, don’t stare at her the entire time. You’re giving her the wrong impression,” Alex smirked.

“I’m not staring, I’m channelling all my disdain towards her.” Kara muttered, shooting dangers towards Lena who was stripping her team tracksuit off.

“Just don’t let her get to you. This is your last chance to show everyone how talented you are, just compete a solid list and you’ll earn your spot on the National Team.” Alex squeezed her shoulders and Kara nodded.

They warmed up and Kara grabbed her shammy from her bag, heading up to the highest board, ready to start her final training session. Lena was already up there, pressing up into a perfect back armstand and Kara definitely did not stare at her ass while she was doing it.

Kara ran through her dive list twice before getting out of the pool and finishing her session, heading to the showers so she had plenty of time to get changed. She let the warm water run over her muscles, relaxing them, she rolled her neck and shook out each of her limbs. She was feeling loose and limber, fully prepared for the competition.

She heard that distinct giggle and every muscle in her body tensed up again, Lena and her best friend/synchro partner Sam Arias rounded the corner. Kara immediately grabbed her stuff and went to leave before Lena wound her up again.

“Going so soon, Danvers?” Lena teased, Kara didn’t say anything she just scowled at the pair. “You know, your list is really shaping up this season, now you might be able to keep up for once.” Lena ducked under the spray and ran her hands over her hair.

“What are you talking about? I’m the defending champion and my list has been higher in difficulty than yours for the past three years.” Kara spat, Lena may be her toughest competitor but she wasn’t unbeatable.

“Yeah, but your season hasn’t been the best,” Lena snickered. “You’re inward 3-1/2 has been... below par. We both know the only reason you choose that dive is because you need the extra DD.” Sam giggled at the remark.

“Whatever, Luthor, we’ll see who’s on top at the end of the day,” Kara stormed out of the showers before they could see the blush coating her cheeks and went to get changed.

She put her headphones on and laid on the poolside, there were three more competitions before hers, she put a podcast on and relaxed. Alex woke her up just as the third competition started, it was a small one so she made her way to the dryland to begin her warm up.

In a short amount of time it was time for the parade, Lena was too occupied with her own preparations that she didn’t have time to irritate Kara. They both had their own competition routines which meant they didn’t have any interaction during the event.

They’re lists were both relatively the same with only one difference: Lena competed inward 2-1/2 somersaults pike and Kara chose the slightly harder dive: inward 3-1/2 somersaults tuck. It was more of a risk but Kara knew she could score 9’s most of the time.

They were pretty much neck at neck up until the last two rounds of dives, five points separated the top two spots. Kara managed to score 9’s on her dive, Lena on the other hand, scored perfect 10’s, grinning as she climbed out of the pool, knowing she had nailed it.

It all came down to the last dive: front 3-1/2 somersaults pike. They were neck and neck, Kara was ahead by just 3 points due to her higher dive difficulty. Kara took a deep breath and set off on her run up, she knew as soon as she hit the water that she’d over rotated slightly, she could feel it on the back of her calves. Kara scored 8’s, it was a solid score but she knew it would be close.

She watched with bated breath as Lena measured her run up, she ran her shammy over her face once more before throwing it down to the pool side. Lena closed her eyes and visualised the dive going perfectly, she set off and Kara felt her stomach drop and Lena entered the water with a perfect rip entry.

Lena Luthor was the new Women’s Platform National Champion.

“Well done, Kara.” Alex gave her a hug, Kara could help but feel disappointed, silver was still an incredible accomplishment but it wasn’t the spot she wanted. “2nd is still something to be incredibly proud of and the National Team would be stupid not to take you.” Kara nodded, “now, go get your jacket on. They’re presenting the medals in a moment.”

Lena was elated, Sam swept her up in a tight hug, congratulating her over and over again. Lena couldn’t keep the wide grin off her face, smiling from the moment they announced that she’d won the title, all the way to the moment she locked the door of her private shower cubicle. Her team mates knew that she needed time alone after a competition to decompress and reflect on her performance, no matter where she placed.

She heard a soft knock on the door and she opened it to tell Sam she would be out soon.

Instead she was met with bright, blue eyes. She allowed Kara to slip inside the cubicle and pull her into a tight hug, “congratulations, baby. I’m so proud of you,” Kara mumbled into her ear.

“Thank you,” she sighed, it had been a gruelling year for Lena, she was at the pool every single day working as hard as she could and it had finally paid off. It was just a shame that for Lena to win, her favourite person had to lose. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to retain your title.”

“Hey, no, we agreed to leave it in the pool, remember? Besides, you’ve worked your perfect ass off for this title, you deserve it.” Lena chuckled and captured her lips in an earth-shattering kiss, it had been months since they’d last seen each other.

They broke away to catch their breath and Lena looped her arms around Kara’s neck. “Just three more months.” Kara hummed, holding her close.

In three months, Lena would be moving to National City for college and they could finally be together. Lena’s family were incredibly strict, they were hell-bent on their daughter being the Olympic Champion one day. That meant no distractions and no dating, oh and they were also incredibly homophobic so Kara wouldn’t be invited to Thanksgiving any time soon.

The young couple had to pretend to hate each other until Lena could move away for college. They had an agreement that any mean comment they said to each other, they really meant the exact opposite. Kara got so wound up because she couldn’t go up to her girlfriend and wish her good luck or give her reassurance without saying something horrible to her.

“You dived so well today, you don’t have to worry about getting picked.” Lena kissed up to her ear. Lena had already been chosen for the team and they were both still nervously waiting to hear if Kara had a spot.

“What if I don’t?” Kara mumbled.

“Then I’ll sneak you into my suitcase and they’ll have to pick you,” she heard Kara’s small chuckle. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too.” Kara whispered back.

They had started off hating each other, their clubs had the worst rivalry in the country and the pair were always pitted against one another. Up until two years ago when Lena had placed third at a local competition and Kara had found her crying in the stairwell after her mother had yelled at her. Lena had told her to go away but Kara hated seeing her beautiful, green eyes look so sad. She was so used to them being filled with mirth and mischief, instead of leaving she pulled her into a hug and held Lena’s shaking body. From then on they were friendly to each other, they were still competitive but the comments weren’t as harsh. Until one particular meet when Lena cornered her in the showers and accused her of deliberately putting her off during her final dive. They’re heated argument quickly turned into an, equally as heated, make-out session.

***

Kara was stood in the shower, basking in the glory of her third win this season when Lena came storming into the showers, tears in her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Kara grabbed her elbow, but Lena pushed her away.

“Just get away from me! This is all your fault,” Kara was taken aback.

“Whaa? What do you mean it’s my fault?” Kara accused, she furrowed her brow and stepped closer to Lena.

“You whistled during my last dive, you put me off!” She yelled, pressing a finger against Kara’s chest.

Kara scoffed, “oh my God. I didn’t put you off! You lost! Get over it.” She said through gritted teeth. Lena didn’t just lose, she came fourth, she hadn’t not medalled in years, her parents were going to kill her. In return, she was going to kill Kara.

“You’re such an asshole! I thought we were friends now,” Lena had gone from teary eyed to full blown rage in less than a second.

“Your head is so far up your own ass, you can’t handle the fact that you messed up on you own!” Kara yelled back.

“I hate you!”

“I hate you more!” They were so close that Kara could see one of her green eyes was slightly blue, she surged forward and captured Lena’s lips in a bruising kiss. Lena let out a squeak of surprise before kissing her back feverishly. Kara gripped her hips and pulled her closer, Lena moaned into her mouth, tugging on her hair. Kara spun her around and backed her up against the tiled wall, she cupped Lena’s face and ran her tongue across her bottom lip.

Lena suddenly stopped and pushed at her shoulders, “I can’t, I’m sorry.” Lena said, breathless. She tried to brush past Kara but the blonde stopped her.

“Wait. Don’t go, please. I’m sorry if I went too far, I just-“

“Kara, it’s okay, you didn’t go too far. It’s just my parents don’t approve of... this.” She gestured between the two of them.

“Screw them! Do you want this?” Kara circled her wrists and ducked her head to look into Lena’s eyes. She searched her eyes and dropped her gaze down to her parted lips.

“Yes,” Kara backed away, leading Lena towards the shower cubicle. She locked the door and recaptured her lips.

***

After that day, Kara had asked for Lena’s number and the rest was history.

They still had to keep up the facade until Lena moved, but Kara quite enjoyed the sneaking around, it meant she could have Lena all to herself and with everyone knowing she was off limits already, she didn’t have to worry about anyone else trying to worm their way in. Not that it would worry her anyway, Lena was head over heels for Kara and vice versa.

“You think you can sneak out of your hotel tonight?” Kara asked.

“Mhmm, Sam is usually out like a light after a day of competing,” Kara began swaying slightly, soothing the girl in her arms.

“Meet you in the parking lot at 9?” Kara suggested, Lena nodded. “It’s a date and I can’t wait to spoil the new National Champion!” Kara grinned.

#kara danvers #lena luthor #lena x kara #supercorp #supercorp fanfic #supercorp fic #supercorp au #diving #diving au #the diving au no one asked for but I wrote anyway #secret relationship #honestly the lack of creativity or effort that went into that name

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lit-in-thy-heart · 3 years

Text

you know what, what's the point of being on this platform if you don't get to bellow into the void about your interests in the hope of finding someone with the same interest?

in light of this, let me inflict a lowdown of the victorian literature (mostly novels because poetry is difficult to collate) that i've read for my module this year upon my mutuals

i'll do a separate one for vampire novels and reblog with the link

because what are the victorians without vampires? straight

bleak house (dickens): what a ride that was! yes, it was nearly a thousand pages and, yes, some chapters i was like can we move on please, but that's dickens for you. honestly, i loved it. if you're looking for thinly-veiled lesbianism, this is the book for you (esda all the way, if they even have a ship name). unfortunately i already knew one of the plot twists due to watching dickensian five years before, but there are plenty more to go around! if you can get through the first chapter describing nothing but fog and the law courts, you're in for one hell of a treat -- just don't google anything about it until you've finished because you will get spoiled (or don't share a house with me, where i'll tell you the entire plot as i'm reading it). definitely recommend, but marking it down for the heteronormativity with allan. (9.5/10)

villette (c. brontë): where to fucking start. i, quite frankly, do not care for charlotte brontë, and when reading the earlier novel agnes grey by anne, i could see some more things that charlotte has filched for this travesty. no victorian novel is going to be without problems, but this one was xenophobic, ableist and, of course, racist. the protagonist doesn't really give anything away, which is meant to make her more mysterious, but it just renders her an empty vessel. oh, and she tells you stuff that she's figured out waaaaaay after she says she's figured it out, a bit like she's allowing you to feel smart for making a connection before going 'oh yeah i knew that like twelve chapters ago, keep up'. some of the passages are really striking and there's maybe one character who's likeable but that's about it. i'd say it's more a story of omission than repression tbh. (4/10)

janet's repentance (eliot): wait, have i even finished this? no, no, i have not. it's fine, i wasn't going to tell you the ending anyway. i did get hooked eventually, there were just a LOT of names thrown around in the first few chapters, and a word that i didn't know was used frequently (turns out it was a name for the followers of this guy). i did get strong hester prynne/arthur dimmesdale vibes from some of the main characters, but janet is a very sympathetic character which, after reading villette, was nice. slightly depressing in some places, but a good enough read if you're not cramming it in the day before your tutorial, because it is mildly dense. (7/10)

the wonderful adventures of mrs seacole in many lands (seacole): not what i'd been expecting to read on my module, what with it being a biography, but enjoyable nonetheless. horrible histories lied to me, though, she was in her 40s/50s when she treated people in the crimean war, not in her 20s, but that's minor. it was actually quite funny??? like she was very reluctant to give away to give away her age and almost slipped up a couple of times, and also made some very biting remarks about people who were passing comment on her skin colour. for a biography, it wasn't hugely biographical, in that she was married for what seemed all of five minutes before her husband died, when in fact they were married for several years, but if you want an in-depth depiction of war, this is for you. not what i'd usually read, but some of the descriptions are so vivid that it does read like a novel in places, though sometimes the descriptions were so detailed that i did tune out at odd intervals. (9/10)

the happy prince and other stories (wilde): if you're feeling low, don't read these. don't. especially not 'the nightingale and the rose', because that was honestly heartbreaking. really well-written, some passages were just beautiful, i just wasn't in the right headspace to fully appreciate it. it also has a lot of death, i should probably explicitly say that. (8/10)

agnes grey (a. brontë): chef's kiss, honestly. if i'd read this last year then i think it definitely would have hit a lot harder, what with agnes moving away from home for the first time and struggling with loneliness around people who she is different from. beautifully written, i'm irritated at myself for not reading it sooner, even though i've owned a copy for about four years or so. agnes does come across as a bit wet sometimes, but those moments are rare and far between, she's overall a resilient character who is trying to make her own way in the world. seeing as i managed to get through the whole thing and didn't lose focus on what i was reading, i rate it higher than jane eyre (which is a rip-off of this anyway). we stan anne. though i am marking it down for the underdeveloped romantic relationship that just pops up (9.5/10)

now for some old classics that weren't taught on my module, but i can't not mention them

a tale of two cities (dickens): this was my first dickens book and oh my word what a book. yeah, okay, lucie is a bit of a wet dishcloth and has basically no personality, but there is definitely something there between her and her maid. sydney is my baby and oh so gorgeously dramatic ("you have kindled me, heap of ashes that i am, into fire"), which was perfect for the pangs of unrequited love. the plot is slightly confusing, and you don't really understand everything until right near the end, but i loved finding parallels in the chapters set in france with the chapters set in britain. oh and the showdown between miss pross and madame defarge is wonderful. i had a tradition of reading it on the run-up to christmas, just because that was the period when i read it for the first time, but i haven't done that for the past two years just because of exams and stuff. now, bleak house just pips it at the post, but i still love it dearly. (9/10)

wuthering heights (e. brontë): i couldn't review victorian literature and not include this. there are very strong similarities between this and villette (seems charlotte really drew on her sisters' work), particularly in terms of me not liking a single one of the characters except hareton. everyone is called cathy. literally. and heathcliff/cathy one is a toxic ship that should not be boarded. it is obsession, not love. the second volume is basically a repeat of the first one, thus showing that humanity will never move past its vices and will be caught in a vicious cycle of self-destruction for the rest of time. again, though, beautifully and vividly written. the characters are the type that you love to hate. (8/10)

the tenant of wildfell hall (a. brontë): what. a. book. this was a book that was simultaneously loved and condemned as scandalous when it came out. there's mystery, there's a woman escaping a horrible situation and making her own living, and there's a well-developed relationship! and the characters are likeable (i love rose, she's great, completely goes off at her brother when she has to do things for him all the time), which always puts it onto a winner. there's one chapter with gilbert that i have to skip just because i hate what he does in it. there are quite a lot of religious references, with redemption playing a huge part in the novel, but even the religious views brontë expresses went against a lot of the teachings of the anglican church at the time. do i even need to say that it's beautifully written if it's anne? marking it down for gilbert's behaviour and arguable control of helen's narrative. (9.5/10)

far from the madding crowd (hardy): i love this book. a little more uplifting than tess but still with the drama and murder you'd expect from hardy. maybe my review is influenced by my tiny crush on bathsheba: she's not the best role model but damn what a woman. gabriel isn't quite bae but i love him all the same, i'm so glad he's happy in the end. (9/10)

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sheerbeautyreigns · 3 years

Text

DESIRE

Part 17

Paul stirred awake the next morning. It was around 8am. Joe was still sound asleep, lying on his back, hair splayed around the pillow from his tossing and turning during the night. He never was the most sound sleeper. He looked at him tenderly, with tired eyes. Today was going to be busy. He had to check out and be in Tampa at the Performance Centre for 1pm. He ran the palms of his hands over his eyes, willing himself to wake up as he sat up.

“What time is it?” Came a voice from behind. “Just gone 8,” Paul said looking down at Joe. The young man pulled the sheets up to his neck, snuggling into them. “I don’t want to leave,” he moaned. “Me either baby,” Paul leaned down and stroked his cheek. “I have a long day ahead of me.” He got out of the bed naked, “Gotta be at the Performance Centre for 1. Got a few meetings for NXT.” Joe watched as he went into the bathroom.

Paul emerged 20 minutes later, wrapping a towel around his waist. Joe was already sorting his belongings into his case. He had already showered last night and would go to the arena to pick up his car as his place was only a few hours drive. Sometimes flying got so much that when he was in Florida, he always liked to drive. Joe had agreed that he would check out a while before Paul as not to raise any sort of suspicion.

“I had a really nice time this weekend.” He told Paul as he propped up his case next to him. “I’m glad you think of some of my twisted ideas as nice.” The older man chuckled. “I’m glad though. You’ve been so good too.” He smiled kissing him. “I’ll book us a nice room in Atlanta for next Friday,” he told him “OK,” Joe leaned in and hugged him, standing silently for a moment. “Keep in touch.”

Joe arrived home a few hours later. He was glad to be back in his own space. The drive gave him plenty of time to think over the events of the weekend. He couldn’t deny that he was starting to fall hard for Paul, regardless of how uncomfortable he had made him feel in a few of their scenarios. He wouldn’t stop trying with Joe, wanting to take him on this journey of his. It was a journey for Joe too, seeing just what he would do to please his man.

He spent that evening packing his wrestling gear and preparing for Raw in Jacksonville. He was happy to be teaming with Colby for the first time in a while. They always worked so well together. As always when on the road, they decided to room together.

Joe had booked a room at the DoubleTree Hilton. “Man, I feel so busted up tonight after that Powerbomb.” Colby complained as they entered the room. “I told you to get it checked out. You’re so stubborn at times you know that?” Joe commented closing the door behind them, setting his case on the side. Colby kicked off his boots and lowered his weary body to the sofa. “There’s got a good sized tub. Why don’t you have a soak. Might help?” Joe suggested. He was like a mother to his friend sometimes. Before Colby knew it, Joe was already running the bath.

“Thanks man,” he acknowledged as Joe emerged from the bathroom. “Go and sort yourself out before you get too comfy!”

“You know, you’re so bossy sometimes, jeez,” Colby whined getting off the sofa. “You need someone to look after you,” Joe replied with a smile as he switched on the TV, passing a glance as Colby stripped off to his black boxers and went into the bathroom. At that moment, his phone rang. Paul’s face flashed on the screen. He hadn’t heard from him since Saturday.

“Heyyy how’s it going?” Joe smiled getting off the sofa. Paul was in Connecticut on business. “Good, busy but good. You looked great tonight.”

“I’m so achy after going through those 2 tables-” Joe started only to be interrupted by Colby peering out of the bathroom. “Hey man, can I use your Epsom Salts?” Joe nodded throwing his case open and fishing the package out.

“You’ve got company?” Paul stated hearing the voice in the background. “Yeah, It’s just Colby,” he handed the package over. He instantly regretted saying that. He began to pace around the room, further away from the bathroom so Colby couldn’t hear.

“Are you staying with him tonight?” Paul enquired, his tone shifting. Joe hesitated before answering “Yeah.” Paul stayed silent “You still there?”

“Yeah,” Paul eventually replied “Are you OK?” He had a feeling Paul was pissed off. “Perfect. Actually, I’ve got a little task for you.” Joe felt knots in his stomach at that statement. “OK…”

“I want you to fuck Colby tonight.” Joe couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What do you mean?” he stopped in his tracks, a confused look on his face “Well, I have a feeling you’ll do it anyway so I want you to do it now because I’m telling you to.” His tone was stern now. It only made Joe feel worse. “Paul, I wasn’t planning on-” Paul cut him off.

“Don’t give me that.” Joe was annoyed now “We’re just friends, there’s nothing going on,” Paul was not budging “Regardless, I want you to do as I say.”

“And, what if I don’t?” Joe fired back, trying to keep his cool. “Are you really thinking of going against my orders?”

Joe hesitated “No,” Paul interjected “No Sir,” he said lowly, hoping Colby couldn’t hear. “Good, I want you to fuck him hard, like I would fuck you. Do you understand?”

“Why are you doing this? You’re putting me in an awkward position.”

“You both have a past so it shouldn’t be hard.” Paul was clearly not getting over it. “Don’t disappoint me,” Paul said before hanging up. Joe started pacing the room again. He was annoyed as hell with Paul. He was clearly pissed off that he was rooming with Colby and it was obvious that he didn’t trust him. It caused him to remember the little punishment blowjob a couple of days earlier. Would he do the same this coming weekend?

“You OK man?” Colby called from the bathroom pulling Joe from his mood.

“Uh, yeah fine.” He said jamming his hands into the pockets of his jogging bottoms. He padded towards the bathroom and peered his head around the door. Colby was laying back in the bath, covered in suds. He looked relaxed. “You don’t sound it man. Spit it out.”

“Aah just stress, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” He lied. “How’s your back?”

“I’m getting too old for this shit.” He said sitting forward in the bath causing the water to splash onto Joe pants. He moved back patting the wetness. “Sorry,” Colby looked at the mark, catching the bulge. He licked his lips.

“You checking me out?” Joe smirked. “Well It’s not like you’re hiding anything.” Colby replied. He knew he shouldn’t flirt since Joe was already involved but it never stopped him before. There was always a spark between them. “Well It’s not like you’re making things easy, splashing about in that tub.”

“I’m just a tease.” Colby grinned standing up covered in suds, water dripping from him as he stepped out of the tub. Joe handed him a white towel from the rail. “You really are.” There was a moment of silence until their eyes met. Colby drew closer to Joe and pressed his lips to his. Joe participated in the kiss until Colby pulled away. Joe was startled.

“Sorry man, sorry.” Colby apologised edging into the living area, followed by Joe. “Don’t be sorry. I wanted that.” He let out. “I can’t . You’re with Paul now, as much as I hate him.” Joe swallowed watching as his friend paced around the room, wrapping the towel around his waist. “Stop pacing.” Joe hated it when he got worked up, he always got agitated over things pretty quickly. Joe had enough, he stepped in and grabbed him by the fore arm. “Stop,” he said sternly. Colby stopped and stared at him. “It’s not going to stop me from wanting you-” Joe confessed loosening his grip. He was now stood right in front of him, both hands on his biceps.

“But, Paul-” Joe put his finger to his lips, silencing him. He followed by kissing him passionately. Soon, Joe was undressed. They edged towards the bed, entangled in a slow kiss now, hands roaming each others bodies as they climbed on top of it.

“Are you sure?” he checked in between kisses. “Stop talking,” Joe told him. “Just enjoy it. Turn around. On your knees.”

Colby did as told, getting on all fours, his ass waiting in front of Joe. Colby saw a grin creep across his face as he looked over his shoulder. There was something different about Joe tonight. He shut his eyes as the Samoan lubricated his opening with his saliva, entering his index and middle finger. Colby grinded back into him, groaning as he did. When Joe was satisfied, he positioned himself upright, the tip of his already hard cock settling against Colby’s opening.

The younger man exhaled as Joe gently forced himself in. He didn’t seem as tight as Joe and had been known to sleep around more. Joe steadied himself, holding onto Colby’s pelvis. Colby loved when Joe fucked him, his cock always felt so good inside, so thick and full. He was fucking him harder and faster tonight that even Colby was struggling to keep track. “Jesus Christ!” He let out “I’m cumming,” Joe warned breathlessly from above. His seed exploded into Colby’s waiting hole. He thrust hard a few more times before pulling out. He grabbed Colby’s forearm, flipping him over. He was a wreck, “Jesus Christ man,” He breathed taking in Joe mass as he hovered above him, strands of hair framing his handsome face. He half smiled, lowering down on the bed next to him. “Did I wear you out?” Joe asked, feeling smug.

“What’s gotten into you this evening?” Colby looked at him “You’re never like that.” Joe turned onto his side to face him, flicking his hair away from his face.

“Guess I’m feeling a bit backed up. Did I hurt you?” He asked, a little concerned.

“No…you’re just not usually like this.” Colby commented. “It’s nothing to do with Paul, is it?” A weird feeling hit the pit of Joe stomach as he heard his name. He felt horrible.

“Of course not,” He said placing his hand on Colby’s chest. “Why do you ask?” He wanted to know. Colby took hold of the hand on his chest, eyeing it. “I know what he can be like…well…going back. I don’t know what he’s like now but, are you sure you’re OK with him?”

“It’s fine. I mean, he has his moments but there’s something there. I can’t explain it but it seems he cares for me.” In a sick way he told himself. But he was willing to put up with it. “He knows that we’ve fooled around though.”

Colby’s eyes widened. “How?”

“He confronted me about it over the weekend,” Joe told him, looking into his eyes. “Not gonna lie, he was pissed about it. He’s had his suspicions.” Colby sat up and put his hands to his forehead. He sighed heavily. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” Joe shrugged.

“Why did we just fuck if he probably doesn’t trust the fact that we’re rooming together?” Colby asked spreading his palms, watching as Joe sat up. “He doesn’t know and he doesn’t have to.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game man,” Colby got out of the bed as Joe watched.

“What are you doing?” He asked, watching the younger man get dressed hastily. “I’m going out, I need to clear my head,” Just like that, he was gone.

#roman reigns #wwe #tribal chief #fanfiction #roman reigns fic #smut #d/s #seth rollins #colby lopez

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drabbles-of-writing · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday (pt 2)

This is part of my Four Years AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was October thirteenth.

Luz’s first birthday without her mother.

She hadn’t told anyone what today was. She had mentioned it before, during the summer. But Eda and King weren’t known to be the best at remembering something so small from a single conversation.

They were already worried about her, it would only make things worse to remind them.

She saw the worried glances Eda and King gave her. Even Lilith looked concerned. Luz assured them she was fine before she holed up back in the library and, later, her room. Which she had made into makeshift into a study area.

Just because it was her birthday didn’t mean she had to stop trying. Even if it was her quinceañera.

‘Mamá must be worried.’ Her mind murmured.

‘She probably thinks you ran away.’ Added a snicker from the back of her mind. ‘She must think you hate her.’

Luz shook her head and hunched back over her papers. This wasn’t the time to mope and worry. This was the time for research! Even the words ran off the pages and her mind kept wandering.

‘You shouldn’t have gone through that door.’ Her thoughts spoke up again. ‘How bad could a reality check camp be, really? Would you really rather spend an eternity here, where your madre will never know if you're alive or dead?’

“Will you be quiet?” Luz snapped to no one.

‘Look at you,’ Her mind sneered back. ‘Talking to yourself. Maybe you did need that summer camp.’

Luz groaned and thunked her head on her desk, hands collapsing behind her neck. How was she supposed to work under these conditions?

She should’ve asked Gus to research with her. Out of all her friends, he was by far the most willing to spend all-nighters reading and searching for anything human. Any single link to the human realm.

This wasn’t to say Willow and Amity didn’t help her. They did, plenty of times. But it was always Gus she could call at two in the morning and ask to travel with her to some long-forgotten ruin on the slim chance it had even a sentence of human language on its stones. Amity was definitely a close second.

Everyone had tried. Even before the summer was over they had tried. Luz still beat herself up about not searching harder when she didn’t have to worry about her madre thinking she was lost somewhere. Every day that ticked by didn’t seem to bring her any closer to making it home.

The first week when summer vacation was over was horrible. Luz barely got any sleep and practically tore the library apart looking for any book on the human realm. She had crashed on the fifth day and slept all of the sixth. While she slept, her friends had taken up researching for her. Even Eda and King. Well, King tried. He couldn’t read all that well, but Lilith was happy to help.

Luz tried to at least get a few hours of sleep each day now. She still had bags under her eyes and her footsteps still dragged, but at least she wasn’t about to collapse anymore.

‘Mamá would tell you to go to sleep.’

Luz lifted her head and looked towards the window. It had originally been a hole in the wall courtesy of one of her recent adventures, so Eda had turned it into a wonky window instead of bothering to fix it up.

It was dusk. How had time gone by so fast?

Luz dug around in her desk for her glyphs and pulled out her light spell. She tapped the paper and it transformed into a small ball of light. She let it float next to her for a moment, simply watching it.

“She would like this spell.” Luz said to herself. “It doesn’t cost any bills to keep up.”

She almost laughed at her own joke. Almost.

‘Yeah, like she’d be proud of anything you did here.’

Luz sighed and turned back to the pages spread out before her. She stared blankly for a few moments, repeatedly telling herself to focus and failing to do so.

Then her bedroom door slammed open.

“LUZ!” King cried.

Luz yelped and shot backwards, tumbling out of her chair and hitting the wooden floor.

King winced and scurried over to where she lay, giving her a nervous look.

“Eh heh, sorry…”

“King! Don’t scare me like that!” Luz scolded, sitting up and rubbing her head.

“Sorry, but it’s important!” King said, waving his little arms. “Come on, come on!”

“Is something wrong?” Luz worried, standing up as King tugged on her cape.

“Well, no,” King said, still pulling her out of her room. “But it’s still important!”

Luz, more confused than ever, followed King as he finally let go of her cape and scampered down the stairs, practically shaking with excitement.

A part of Luz was expecting some prank he and Hooty had concocted. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for them these days.

Luz wandered down the stairs as King skittered towards the living room. She heard murmuring and frowned, slowing her steps until she was right by the doorway and peeked her head in, one hand resting on the doorframe.

Willow, Gus and Amity were sitting on the floor around the couch. They had pushed a table up in front of it. A cake sat on the table, and Amity was currently trying to stick in a candle shaped like a five next to the one shaped like a one, though was clearly having trouble as the candle was made of something very squirmy and kept shifting into something that looked more like a weird S.

Gus was trying to help contain the candle as Willow looked on with concern, holding a small square lidded box in her lap.

Eda and Lilith were sitting on the couch directing Gus and Amity with little success. As Lilith was also dealing with Hooty continuously bugging her with questions or whatever he ate outside that day.

King had just arrived and was now climbing onto the table, promptly freaking out everyone else who clearly didn’t expect him to be back so soon.

“Guys…?” Luz blinked, taking a step into the room.

Everyone's heads whirled around to her, none of them having expected her to make it downstairs faster than they anticipated.

Hooty, as per usual, was the first to break the silence.

“Hi, Luz!” He greeted. “We made a cake!”

“You didn’t do anything!” Lilith snapped. “All you did was be a lookout. A very lousy one, at that!”

“Hey! I deserve credit for doing something!”

“What...is all this?” Luz asked, deciding it was better to cut in before Lilith and Hooty started arguing again.

“What does it look like, kid?” Eda snorted, snatching the five candle from Amity and sharply sticking it into the cake, making it lopsided and causing clear distress to Amity’s OCD.

“This is what human birthdays look like, right?” Gus worried, sitting upright and putting his hands on the table. “Was there supposed to be streamers? I knew we should’ve gotten streamers,” He grumbled.

“No, no, it’s just…” Luz looked over everyone before her eyes landed on Eda and King, who had hopped onto the couch beside her.

“You...remembered?” She asked quietly.

“Of course we did! The King of Demons never forgets!” King said proudly.

“Yesterday you forgot that you drank your own apple blood and threw a fit because you thought someone else drank it.” Amity deadpanned.

“That was one time!”

“Happy birthday, Luz.” Willow said, gesturing for her to sit down and setting the small box on the table.

Luz slowly walked towards the table, sitting on her knees at the end of the table. Still stunned, she slid the gift closer to her and pulled off the lid.

Inside it was a book. It was dark blue with golden lining along the edges. It’s title in gold cursive read; Glyph Spells & Other Written Magic .

“Thought you could use one of those,” Willow said casually. “Since you’ve got your own students to teach now.”

“We all pitched in for it,” Eda said gleefully.

Amity gave the witch a very pointed glare. One that Eda sighed in response to.

“Alright, we all pitched in to look for it. Little Miss Rich over here paid for it.” She relented, pointing a thumb towards the girl.

“I tasted it!” Hooty added happily. “It tastes like old dust and death.”

Luz carefully lifted the book out of the box. It seemed like well-kept book. Though the frantic scratches among the cover here and there proved that it had likely been quickly cleaned before placed in the box. The pages were yellow and crinkled, and there was the occasional stain or tear. But overall, it wasn’t unreadable.

“Do you…” Amity swallowed. “Like it?”

Luz kept her eyes on the book for a few quiet seconds. She pulled the book close to her chest and lifted her head, trying and failing to fight back the tears welling in her eyes.

“I love it.” She said hoarsely, a wide smile stretched across her face.

Everyone in the room visibly relaxed, shoulders sagging.

“Does this mean we can have cake now?” King asked, impatiently tugging on Eda’s dress. “I’m starving!”

“Nope!” Hooty chirped, his head popped up beside Luz and startled her. “It’s group hug time!”

“Wait, wait, Hooty NO--!”

Hooty was faster than any of them could react and wrapped around them all, pulling them into a tight ball with Luz squished in the middle.

“A little more warning next time?” Gus wheezed from where he was currently being suffocated by the insistent bird tube.

“The cake!” Willow exclaimed.

Everyone craned their necks downwards towards the table.

Sure enough, amongst the struggle to get everyone in a circle, the cake had been knocked off the table and onto the floor, completely smashed against the carpet.

Everyone stared at it for a few moments.

“Floor cake!” King exclaimed. “The best kind of food!”

Nobody knew who laughed first, but it wasn’t long before everyone had smiles on their faces. Now, it didn’t seem to matter how human they made her party.

“Thanks, guys.” Luz said once she’d calmed down. “I...I think I needed this.”

“Any time, Luz.” Eda smiled.

Luz giggled and looked towards the stained windows of the Owl House. She could already hear Lilith and King arguing with Hooty again, probably to put them down, but it was tuned out.

The sky was completely dark now. And though the sky back home looked different than in the Boiling Isles, Luz couldn’t help but wonder if her mom was looking up at the stars, too.

She glanced back to her friends, still not processing any of the arguments or conversations they were having as they tried to free themselves from Hooty.

Yeah, she’d be okay.

Luz smiled and relaxed. Even if her mom didn’t know where she was, Luz could at least rest assured that she’d make it home, eventually. And she’d have real friends helping her out.

‘Keep that light on until I get there, mamá.’ She silently asked.

‘Te veré pronto.’

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occasionalstorytelling · 3 years

Link

Summary: A short drabble in which Bucky thinks about the time in his life when he COULD have just run up on a stranger, beat them up, and take what he wanted. Life with HYDRA was very different than life after deprogramming.

Read it here:

“Let’s take the shield, Sam. Let’s take the shield and do this ourselves.”

Sam had been trying to sleep. Sam needed so much sleep. Pretty much everyone except for Bucky needed so much sleep, at least in comparison to Bucky. Bucky didn’t need much sleep at all. Sam shifted then, and sat up to look at Bucky. “We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up, and take it.”

He was wrong. Bucky could do it. Walker didn’t even look that tough. It wasn’t like it would have been hard.

“Don’t you remember what happened the last time we stole it?” Sam asked.

“Maybe,” Bucky said. Of course he did. He remembered everything.

It wasn’t that Bucky missed HYDRA, it really wasn’t. He’d never go back. He’d never want to go back. Even just thinking about it made his skin crawl…but he didn’t have the luxury of a broken long term memory to hide behind anymore. He remembered everything, and he remembered that there was a brief time when life had felt like magic.

The whole beginning of it was bad, for a lot of reasons. From the amputation-without-painkillers on, it was a shitty, shitty time. HYDRA spent hours, days, weeks breaking him and molding him into the Winter Soldier, and everyone knew that was what was happening. There wasn’t a tech around who didn’t know the latest details of a particular Soldier trigger, there wasn’t a HYDRA goon who was afraid of him, because they all knew what was being done to him. Soldier was as likely to get a pat on the back as he was to get kicked in the face, and it could have come from anyone.

People get old, and then they die. Everyone except for Bucky, at least. Slowly, the techs disappeared and were replaced with new ones, one that didn’t know as much. HYDRA was very concerned with its secrets, after all, and the details that allowed for controlling the Winter Soldier was a big secret. HYDRA goons stopped laughing at Soldier and started giving him a wider berth. Techs got jumpy if Soldier even so much as twitched. A few people still knew the main triggers, but their visits were few and far between.

It was much nicer to be feared than it was to be tortured.

It wasn’t that Bucky had liked anything HYDRA had done to him or for him, but…he remembered how it was after the higher ups decided Soldier was HYDRA’s most valuable asset. All of a sudden, no more sitting alone in damp and uncomfortable cells, now it was constant surveillance in rooms that actually had places to sit. Mission debriefs started including painkillers and muscle relaxants, and it sucked that that was Soldier’s standard for “comfort,” but at the time, it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. They fed him, and it was like he was a fancy purebred guard dog—if he didn’t eat, they coaxed and pleaded and somehow found better food and brought it to him. Soldier was valuable, and the higher ups wanted him safe. And the techs didn’t know the triggers anymore.

There was a mission, early on, when Soldier damaged his ankle. Returning to the base, he all but collapsed. He couldn’t stop himself from falling, and one of the goons thought Soldier was trying to attack him. Everything after that was colored with electricity and triggers and punishment. HYDRA had been a single unit, and every single person there was invested in breaking Soldier.

Years later, there was another mission, where Soldier had waited for days in a particular spot, waiting for the target to appear, when a goon had fumbled the delivery at the last moment and the target got away. Soldier had turned away from the gun, expecting a punishment for failure, but instead, the goon cowered. Like he thought Soldier was going to hurt him. Soldier wanted to hurt him; that goon had interfered with a mission. But no matter how long he waited, there was no punishment for failure. Soldier began to get a sense of the new rules. He wondered how many people even remembered the punishments anymore.

Once, on a debrief, they shocked Soldier so hard he remembered a boy with blonde hair getting beat up in an alley. Bucky hated this memory of a memory. Soldier went crazy (well, crazier than usual) and killed three techs and five goons. Soldier came back to himself when one of the higher ups came to fix the problem. Soldier pressed himself into a corner, and even though he was muzzled, he begged not to be punished. Killing a non-target had been a particularly bad offense when they were first training him. Through the muzzle, he went unheard. Soldier almost went into cardiac arrest, he was so scared.

The higher up looked around. He lightly kicked one of the bodies. He left, without punishing Soldier. Later, Soldier learned that it was the techs who had been threatened with punishment—it was the techs who were at fault for the murders, not Soldier. Soldier could kill anyone wanted. Everyone (except Solider) was replaceable, and HYDRA’s most valuable asset was to be kept alive, active, and happy. Things got really good for Soldier after that.

Solider learned to speak up on missions, after that. A goon would try to suggest a plan, and Soldier would (politely) explain why it wouldn’t work, and if the goon pressed harder, Soldier pressed back. Soldier hit a goon across the face, with the metal arm, too. He took seven bullets to the back in retaliation. The goon who had fired on him never appeared again.

When Soldier walked through the hall, people got out of the way. Even in his weakest, most vulnerable states, people tiptoed, they were careful around him. There was yelling in the lab one day and Soldier screamed at the overstimulation and everyone went deadly silent. It was amazing.

Soldier was valuable. If he could’ve asked for anything, he would have gotten it. HYDRA loved him, and they did their best to show it. Sometimes, goons were even offered to Soldier, as a way to blow off some steam for Soldier, as a punishment for the goons. As if Soldier was an angry volcano to which the people made sacrifices. Soldier beat the victims into the ground and imagined they were people who deserved it, even though Soldier always had trouble keeping track of exactly who that was. The techs would clean the blood off his hands and seem grateful just to be alive, that Soldier’s wrath wasn’t turned on them. When they bound Soldier, or put him on ice, it was totally different than it had been at the beginning—they weren’t putting away a toy, they were restraining a dangerous creature. Soldier liked being dangerous, he liked when the HYDRA techs were afraid of him.

It was hard not to think about it, sometimes. Bucky could still remember how that had felt.

Being a good guy was hard. Objectively speaking, things were more difficult when you cared who lived and died, when your goal was defense rather than attack. Being Soldier had been easy. Being deprogrammed-Bucky was hard.

He’d visited Pepper after Tony’s funeral, trying to make amends. Pepper had let him in her house, and offered him coffee. They talked for a long time. Bucky wished she’d been there before, when he’d really needed a buffer between him and Tony. Pepper showed Bucky the house. Her and Tony’s child, Morgan, was watching a movie in the living room.

It was some new Disney thing. Bucky remembered when Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs first came out in the 1930s, but now Disney was huge, a household name. This movie wasn’t animated like Bucky remembered. It was about famous Disney villains’ kids, Pepper explained. On the screen, a girl with white hair looked at the camera with wide, green eyes.

“Don’t you ever miss screaming at people and making them run away from you?” she asked.

Bucky froze. The boy in the movie told her that no, he didn’t miss that, why would any normal person miss doing extreme violence on their enemies—Pepper was saying something.

“It’s a cute movie,” Pepper laughed.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. He swallowed. His throat felt dry and horrible. He excused himself, he was sorry, but he had to leave, he had to get home. That night, he almost threw up, kneeling over the toilet on the cold bathroom floor. He didn’t miss HYDRA, he didn’t miss killing people, he didn’t miss making people scared…

There were plenty of people who were still scared of him, anyway. Bucky took deep breaths and managed to stand up. This was yet another thing that he would not explain to his therapist. He didn’t miss HYDRA, that was true. He didn’t want to kill or hurt anyone ever again, also true. But did he miss the days when he felt more in control, like the only thing that mattered was his physical strength, and problems were “how hard do I hit” and not “how much money do I have for groceries this month” and “how do I talk to people” and stuff like that? He had to admit, things were hard now. Sometimes, he did miss when things were easy.

“I’ll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years,” Sam said.

Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. Sam was so great at listing things that had happened, but had conveniently forgotten that Bucky had spent a good chunk of that time frozen in Wakanda, voluntarily suffering over a year of nonstop nightmares while Shuri tried to figure out how to deprogram him. What Bucky wouldn’t have given just to be on the run.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca,” Sam was saying.

Again, Bucky held back the urge to eye-roll or make a sarcastic comment. What did Sam think Bucky’s life was like, anyway? Maybe living on the run would be an upgrade from the dark apartment with no bed or anything. There had been that farmers’ market with the good plums in Romania…actually, Bucky couldn’t go back there. That was where the SWAT team had tried to kidnap him after the UN thing, and rule number one of being on the run was no going back to where you’d already been…but there’d be other farmers’ markets.

“We just got our ass handed to us by super soldiers, and we got nothing,” Sam sighed.

Bucky suddenly had a bad idea. There was another super solider out there…Isaiah was still around. Sam would like to meet Isaiah, Bucky was sure of it.

“Not entirely true,” Bucky said. “There’s someone you should meet.”

#AO3 fanfic #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #falcon and winter solider series #Bucky Barnes #bucky #sam wilson #james bucky barnes #hydra #bucky remembering hydra

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graphicabyss · 4 years

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Avalanche and the Fallout

So, last time I commented on Tegoshi’s tell-all book and now it’s released and the damage is done. Such an appropriate name seeing as avalanches are sudden and destroy everything in their path. As I read the book and the related news, I struggled with both the need to convey how I felt and stop giving him so much time and attention. Sure enough, I ended up with a long review/analysis/bitching post. It's rough and mean and very long so please read at your own risk.

Facts first. The book released on Aug 5 was originally supposed to run 10,000 copies but they reportedly increased it to 50,000 due to high demand. Tegoshi also held a press-conference to talk about it on release day. It ended up being one of the best-selling books on Amazon and top seller in Entertainment.

It’s hard to talk about the book briefly. It’s 270 pages long and I had absolutely no intention to read it all but still ended up reading a good deal and words just kept pouring out of me. I could not imagine how much this book would fuck me up. I knew it would be bad but honestly I was shocked about the publication because it’s both incredibly cruel to so many people and incredibly stupid as it’s going to severely damage his reputation and future career.

I won’t even try to pretend to be objective because there’s nothing objective about the book itself. It’s a book of unsolicited opinions. If there’s one word I’d to describe it it’s ‘delusional’. Every chapter reeks of vanity and a sense of superiority as he judges every single celebrity he came in contact with and gives plenty of advice. It's a mess of careless words hastily and haphazardly thrown together in an attempt to let the world know the Real Tegoshi.

Of course, that's not how he sees it. He mentions the likes of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates saying their books give people motivation and inspiration and he wanted to do the same. Bitch, you haven't done anything to get you on that level yet.

There’s a video on his channel where he goes to the publisher to talk about the book and while he says about sending an inspirational message, the publisher only wants him to talk about Yukirin and other juicy gossip. And it’s not like poor Tegoshi was tricked into it, he readily agreed to it and he knew full well what he was doing. The book’s cover does not advertise life advice, it advertises celebrity gossip. Also nudes, which by the way, turned out to be mere topless shots. Add false advertising to the list of offenses. He really gave Bunsun a run for their money discussing half his scandals and even adding some extra. He keeps saying he only wants to clear up the rumours but somehow ends up saying things that make absolutely no difference or even make him look worse. It's like if Bunshun said "Tegoshi was partying with 5 younger women, ran around naked and then passed out drunk" and Tegoshi would be like "That's not true! There were 4 women!"

He also said he absolutely could not hide how he truly felt. And that seems to make sense except it’s one thing to just be honest and reveal some of your relevant thoughts in a carefully worded manner. But this is another thing entirely. It’s some kind of emotional exhibitionism, a compulsory desire to share his every thought and opinion on everything and everyone. Dear, there is middle ground between hiding how you really feel and giving your every single opinion. That doesn't make you honest. It makes you an asshole.

The book is divided into small chapters and most are about NEWS, past and present members and related topics, as well as most other JE artists. Some chapters are about the women he had or did not have relations with. Some are about the people he admires and his delusional plans for the future. Only a small number of chapters do not mention any names and talk about his personal experiences and thoughts.

At this point, I do not even have all the scans but I have more than enough to go off the parts I read. First off, I am now allergic to the word ‘positive’ and the phrase ‘as a man’. What the fuck does that even mean? Also, a lot of the stuff he says in the book is not new in any way and was either said before or known through other sources or rumours. There are hardly any shocking revelations anywhere, at least if you were following him as closely as I have. But hearing all these terrible opinions at once is sure a treat.

Actually, he himself described it as whining and that seems accurate because he does that for a good portion of the book, explaining how unfairly he (and other people) was treated by the industry and the press. There are many stories of hardship and resilience. There’s the good old "I suffered so much when I wasn’t the center of attention for the first time in my life”. There’s the classic “The media spreads lies about me” and other familiar narratives. Also a few tragic stories of unfulfilled love.

And not all of it is horrible. In fact, there are a few parts that I could relate to, such as the terrible way Koyama had been treated when he had to resign from ‘every’, the strange limitations for idols and how excessively strict the rules of Japanese showbiz are. But by telling those stories and complaining about JE and Japan’s entertainment industry, he is not going to make a change. All he accomplished is make things harder for himself. Bringing up the names of many artists, especially those he doesn’t even know personally, and discussing their problems is incredibly rude, intrusive and potentially damaging. Yes, the rules of Japanese entertainment suck but see how much you can achieve going against them.

And I don't like JE and not going to defend it but bitching about JE in particular is unwise for two reasons: One - not only does he owe everything to it, NEWS is still in it and what’s bad for JE is bad for NEWS. Two - JE is very powerful and has immense influence in the industry so making them your enemy when your career barely started may lead to it ending prematurely. In the end, Tegoshi Yuya’s biggest obstacle to fame isn’t JE or media. It’s Tegoshi Yuya.

It is not an autobiography book so it doesn't start with childhood. Which is a pity because I was hoping to get a glimpse of how we got to this point. There are a few clues though.

I can tell.

Perhaps the most important chapters are those connected to his leaving the band, his reasons and motivations and that shit made me livid. He basically says that one day he imagined how awesome his solo career would be and decided he was too good to be in NEWS and the world will fall at his feet at soon as he lets it. He literally says that when he had to stay home because of the Covid-19 pandemic, he realized that God sent him a sign saying “Quickly, leave the agency!”. The pandemic is serendipity. Fuck me.

I honestly expected that the part about NEWS members at least would be nothing but praise but it also left me with very mixed feelings. First, there's a chapter "What I Told the NEWS Members" and it sounds so solemn and inspirational like "Are you sure you didn't copy that from some drama or anime? Because people do not talk like that, especially after being hit with such news." I'd love to hear their side of the story. There's also a chapter calling the members his comrades and expressing his eternal gratitude. But it's pretty clear that's not really for the members, it's to appease the fans.

There are several more chapters about the members specifically. Tegoshi has to be perfectly honest so there’s evaluation of every member, as he positions himself as the best performer by default and tells some stories that he apparently seems to think necessary to share.

For instance, there’s his story of choosing to stay in NEWS in 2011 as he told Koyashige they were miles behind Tegomass and needed to improve their singing and dancing to not drag the band down. Wait, since when can Tegoshi dance? Also the time Massu could not get a certain song right and got unresponsive as Tegoshi kept poking his mistake, so Tegoshi went berserk and thrashed Massu's things.

There is also a whole chapter about Shige and it's so weird as a former biggest Tegoshige shipper. Before I'd be happy for all the praise. Sadly, at this point if Tegoshi praises you too much it's almost a little suspicious. The whole thing is basically Tegoshi deciding that Shige is his top choice as... a man? deciding he makes the best leader and entrusting him the band. "Take care of my NEWS, Kato!" he says at the end. Fuck this shit!

Also, whatever happened to “Shige-chan?” He has made no effort to spend time with Shige out of work. And you know, they used to hang out and go on trips together when they were younger but not in recent years as Tegoshi got 'cooler' friends. I mean, his and Shige's friends probably have a 20+ difference in IQ level but still... He also only read a few of his books and unlike Massu, he does read. Mostly shitty 'how to succeed' types. All of that speaks of remarkable disinterest in Shige's actual life and thoughts.

There are several more chapters regarding NEWS as a band and what he thinks they should do and it makes me furious just talking about it. You lost any right to decide the band's future when you left them high and dry, asshole. He also claims he loves NEWS so so much and even wears the tour T-shirts (impressive!) and sings their songs in karaoke and cries! (poor thing!) On top of that he can't wait to see the STORY tour and go to see it and also broadcast it on his Youtube and do a review.......... I can't with this shit. Let's move on.

He also analyzed former members, basically calling Ryo spineless and saying he and Pi should have left sooner if they had no interest being in the band. And that’s coming from someone who tried to leave what? 4 times at least? Yes. It turns out he wanted to leave the band in 2017, in addition to 2011 and 2013. The way I see it now, 4nin NEWS was a hostage situation where Tegoshi constantly threatened to leave and other members trying to keep him happy and make him stay. He knew he was important and he got away with all kind of shit, both within the band and the agency.

In a similar manner, he takes each JE group and artist and evaluates them - what's good about it and what’s not, who’s popular and capable, what the group needs to do and so on. It’s amazingly condescending. There’s even a whole part about wanting to unite NEWS and KAT-TUN. What the fuck? Who asked you? Go film your ugly wardrobe or something.

I bet Tegoshi is so obsessed with popularity and rankings that he sees numbers over every person's and groups’ heads. Not everything in the world can be ranked and measured in numbers. He also says there are many celebrities who fucked up and acted like divas but are still popular. Way to go! Except it seems you have mistaken the order. You should succeed first, then be a dick. Also bitch, you're not Lady Gaga.

One of the biggest reasons for the anger of fans, at least the Western ones, was the way he talked about the mental issues of the former King & Prince member Iwahashi Genki and SEXY ZONE member Matsushima Sou both of whom had to step back from the industry because of their panic attacks. Even though he intended to encourage them, he expressed a fundamental misunderstanding of how panic attacks work suggesting they just had to cheer up and stay positive.

There's a whole section where he talks about a dozen female celebrities, mostly idols and actresses, dedicating a whole chapter to each. Of course, only to ‘set the record straight’. Because that’s exactly how the rumours work, you know. Particularly old ones. You tell the whole story and they go away. It's disgusting. Female artists' whole careers depend on their pure image and being associated with him can easily end it.

He also speaks of the first three girls he dated, which all sound like huge and tragic love stories as he said he loved them so much he considered marrying them but they all actually happened when he was about 16 to 20 years and after turning 20 he hasn't had a single woman that he loved that much.

And then some parts are only about himself and they are things that one should really, really keep to oneself. Nobody needs to know you drink so hard you can’t get it up. The chapter's called "I have no interest in sex" but it should really be called "I have a drinking problem". I couldn’t help but remember the scandalous article that came out in 2017 where one of his 'girl friends' sold the story of their relationship with all unsightly intimate details. I chose to defend him at the time but now I’m not even sure I can blame her. Perhaps it should be viewed as whistle-blower insider info as she warned others of what they may expect. The chapter "I have easily over a 1000 female friends" says he has this many girl contacts all over Japan and overseas but they aren't what you think they are. He only had 10 girls who he considered girlfriends, those he met 1 on 1 with. I guess the rest he just fucked so that doesn't count. Now that I think about it, I feel like 99% of all the Bunshun articles were mostly accurate.

Speaking of which... There's also a chapter where he explains why he cried during Neverland tour and he explains it by the photo with the two cons from 2011. We all know that was just a small part of it and the far bigger reason was people exposing his private messages and leaking intimate photos and stories. So much for the whole truth. Also, he whines about his reputation being hurt by the photo but has a whole chapter praising the man called Horiemon who was imprisoned for securities fraud.

There's another major revelation that shows his character. He mentions several cases where he had hissy fits in the dressing rooms, actually throwing chairs and things. Of course, for important reasons - being frustrated and angry at terrible injustices. Such as Koyama being fired from ‘every’ or him losing some parts in ChumChum after his scandal. Also the fight with Massu back in 2010 when he threw Massu’s things on the floor... It’s horrible as it is but for Massu, knowing he freaks out if you so much as breathe on his things... What a bitch.

There are also some chapters about his delusions of becoming a worldwide phenomenon but he doesn't seem to have a real plan how to achieve it. There are his ideas that are all over the place. There's the bold "Creating a new mold of entertainment" so that's producing. There's Youtube stuff. There's creating a "Tegoshi village" with ex-TOKIO Yamaguchi. He just had to pick the most problematic of his senpai. And there's an actual chapter called "Expanding to China and US Simultaneously”? Also English lessons? That all sounds very impressive, hon, but all you did so far was piggybacking on other people's fame and work. His book sold largely due to scandals and other people's names. He had a solo concert with just his NEWS solos and cover versions. And he just released a video that is an exact replica of his ItteQ segment.

One question is: how is he so confident he'll succeed fast? Well, apart form the usual delusions of grandeur. One reason for his excessive confidence is having friends in high places. At one point he's casually namedropping Abe Shinzo and the First Lady who was supposedly expected to come to the Story tour. Tegoshi said he would invite both of them to his solo concert. Yeah, I'm sure they'll come, nothing controversial about that.

I can’t imagine how it’s going to go from here but I don’t know how anyone would still want to work with him. He fucked over people he worked with for 18 years, people he claims to love, in a heartbeat so what can a new partner expect?

--------------------------------------------------

As expected by literally everyone but Tegoshi, the book made an uproar and not in a good way, with fans and agencies enraged over his words about the artists. There were many articles calling this book 'exposé book', especially focusing on him using the real names of female celebrities. Some newspapers followed up with petty articles. My favourite is an article from Tokyo Sports that specifically dug up a story that was not in the book about the way he adamantly pursued a certain female idol trying to conquer her and culminating in doing a dogeza in front of her but she still rejected him saying "Zettai yada! I will be your girlfriend number what?". Her name is not revealed, which is unfortunate, I'd like to know who that queen is.

Not all feedback was bad, of course. According to this article, many men brought it and enjoyed it. I'm sure they did. Plenty of aspirational douchebags out there. Anyway. Many fans wrote to him long angry and very detailed letters. His social media accounts have been losing followers for the past several weeks.

Perhaps the strangest thing is that he seemed genuinely surprised that instead of praise for his courage and honesty he got anger and disapproval. It wouldn't happen if he got his head out of his ass and literally asked a single one of the people he wrote about what they thought of it.

The feedback must have been very focused as the very next day he wrote a few posts on his Twitter and Instagram indicating his concern over the feedback. On Twitter, he used the word “yacchimatta ka” as in “I messed up, didn’t I?” though stylistically I read it as “whoopsie”. Then there were two Insta stories.

2020/08/06 Ah, I'm a little tired. I'm also human. (sometimes I whine)

2020/08/06 I don't bother with those who criticize me in whatever they do. But I can't stand to see my fans, whom I treasure like my life, leave. I'm sorry. From now on, I won't whine anymore.

"I whine sometimes?" Really? that's what you call a 272 pages tell-all book? Also "I won't whine anymore"?? You think pulling off shit like that and then saying "whoopsie" is enough? It got quiet for a few days and on Aug 10 there was the apology video, which was named "This is my first and last whining". Doubt it. He uses the word ‘弱音’ which has a somewhat vague meaning, using it in an apology video in that context is confusing. Why not call apology as it is? That seems like another politician’s technique.

The apology was impressive in a way. At least it was not a blanket apology, he (or his employees) correctly identified what exactly people were mad about. He said he was really sorry for hurting his fans and causing trouble to people he wrote about. He said he understood that he doesn't have to reveal everything. He also said that he felt the love behind the anger, that fans wrote to him because they cared and were disappointed. Also said he realized that he was protected till now. It was all pretty good right until the very end when he gave a loud 'TEI!' effectively ruining the effect.

Of course, it was good that he did that but I still don't think it even began to make up for all the shit he wrote. The apology would be an adequate step after a shitty Tweet, not a fucking book. Also, I feel like more than anything he just got scared of losing his fans, maybe even sorry for hurting their feelings but not really sorry for what he did. He has no plans to change his behaviour. He wants to be at his 100% assholeness and still be adored.

Of course thousands of merciful women turned to his defence because he looked 'so sad' and even 'thinner'. That's right! He's the real victim here. Must be terrible to hear such hard criticism for the things you actually said and did.

By now I'm barely even angry anymore and a part of me feels sorry for Tegoshi. He's like a dumb spoiled child who wreaks havoc. But I have to remind myself I should not feel sorry. He is in fact an adult man of 32 who is so used he always gets his way that even a minor opposition is viewed by him as a violation of his freedom. And his charm is the very reason he always got away with all the shit he did in life up to this point. I bet he is getting a lot of hate mail and I hope his positivity prepared him for it. I remember him calling Koyama in the middle of the night to come and comfort him while he cried. Also calling Shige to come only to fall asleep in his lap. Now he's on his own. God, right now I just really wish Tegoshi would send himself to the corner and thought about what he's done. Just step aside and shut up for 5 minutes.

But he isn't gonna do it. Of course not. He had a solo concert today and is doing Youtube videos and moving even faster so that people forget about the book.

But fans never will. I can't even say if the book changed my perception or just unveiled what I knew was there all along. For years I've been discarding and questioning all the bad rumours and stories telling myself "He didn't mean it" or "That can't be true" but now it all comes together like pieces of a puzzle, and there's no need to guess anymore because he's shouting "Oh yes I fucking did and I'll do it again!"

All in all, the book paints a picture of a man who is anything but Prince Charming. It chips away any remaining illusions of a 'perfect idol' showing someone who is vain, petty, and chauvinistic. Someone who is obsessed with status and popularity so much that he is willing to sacrifice everything for it and thinks it doesn't matter how bad your reputation is as long as you succeed. Someone who is the very epitome of toxic masculinity, drinks himself to oblivion and treats women like toys. And yet, somehow, I still find myself having to fight the strong urge deep inside of me that makes me want to like him.

#Tegoshi Yuya #musings #it's nearly 4k fuck me #I'm exhausted but it had to be done

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years

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Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {7}

Summary: Dealing with the truth isn’t easy, especially when there’s a soulmate bond involved.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

Word count: 4000+

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are, Isak Danielson - Love me Wrong, Dove Cameron - Remember me, Tom Odell - Can’t pretend, The XX - Angels, Coldplay - Fix you, Coldplay - The scientist, Elvis Presley - Can’t help falling in love.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Ikari (noun) - anger/strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility

Very few moments in our lives are time-stamped, just frozen in one particular second of an achingly long minute of a horribly long hour. That's when time stands still and we're left with a choice - to be the force that makes it move or be a victim of the one who does and Ethan wasn't sure what to choose.

Taking her quivering lips and trembling chin into account, those beautiful eyes of hers clouded with doubt and hurt but not hate...even then she couldn't hate him. Love and hate are the same train, only in forwards or reverse gear. Her chest rose quickly with each breath, her exhales coming out as huffs instead of proper airflow and her hands laid at her side as defenseless as she must feel. She has blood in her eyes while blood drains from his face.

He doesn't feel like he deserves to be the one to end the silence. It's not as if he wouldn't be happy to be a father now or many times after as well, but it's the way it's come to be and it's the deceit that had forced this moment of reckoning.

"Nothing to say? Because I have plenty. To. Say." She spat the words out like they're poison collecting on the tip of her tongue, her eyes narrowing as tears begin to spill and Ethan really has no words to say because what the hell could he ever say that would make it better? And she’s fighting for the good memories of them to remain unaltered, to remember the reasons to be kind. She’s fighting to keep herself empathic even as every terrible thing she had predicted is coming true in this instant. For Y/N, that's the betrayal, Ethan’s lack of willingness to fight the negative thoughts and think the best of her, to recall her soul as it was when they first met instead of loving the soul that evolved by his side.

"You kept this from me for six months, Ethan! You watched me squirm whenever I asked about your soulmate and you said NOTHING!" Her hands bawl into fists and the veins in her neck become prominent and while he swallows thickly, Ethan prepares for the worst of it. She's just starting and she has every right to get it off her chest and onto him. He deserves it all.

"I've been haunted by a soulmate that doesn't exist! God, Ethan, do you even have any idea how fucking distraught I've been over that?! And then this!" Pointing at the positive test at his feet, Ethan can tell her hands are shaky but so is her entire body. Her emotions are completely in control, her rage at its peak, but he can't help the tiny bit of joy inside him at the fact that she's still there. She may be screaming at him, but she's there, not running away like she would have done months ago but staying long enough to at least argue.

"I've mourned our children, Ethan!" Her voice is raspy and devastatingly painful, his heart desperately flailing inside his chest as her grief overcomes her and he can't touch her, he can't make it go away. This time, he's the cause instead of being her cure. In her pain she thought he’s the bad guy, yet in truth he’s drowning in a sea of uncried tears too.

"I've mourned the children I thought we couldn't have! I've let that go, given up on it entirely because I wanted you more than -", her voice breaks and a sob fills the pause that wrecks Ethan from inside out and his own tears fall uncontrollably and while he knew it would be better if he stays on the other side of the room, he had taken a step closer and she didn't take one back.

Swallowing a lump inside her throat, she shakes her head at him and speaks again, no longer screaming but her quiet tone is making it worse. It hit him hard. Her words are like nails and hammers breaking his heart apart.

"I would have given it all up for you. I didn’t give a fuck about the soulmate I might have, because you're all I can see. I would have given up having children of my own, for you. I would have forgiven you for lying to me all this time, Ethan, I would have. I was going to." Wiping her tears off, she rubbed her nose absentmindedly before her gaze fell on that test again, her own heart aching.

Did she want kids? Yes.

Did she want Ethan's kids? Definitely.

But like this? It wasn't quite the way she imagined it at all and not at a time where she's finishing her intern year. There were far too many things she wanted to do differently, to make it special. Who even gets pregnant by accident in this world anyway? She felt like a cosmic joke.

"I didn't even fucking care that you lied, I was just happy you were finally mine and then I remember the times you insisted on condoms and I though why not fuck with him a little?” Chuckling in disbelief, she actually smiled through the tears but it was far from happiness on her face.

“Just to relieve some the tension and I don't even know why I took the test, probably because of what Grayson asked today, but no matter how badly I wanted kids with you, this isn't the way or time I wanted it to happen." Moving to the bed, Y/N let herself sit on the edge, folding her hands in her lap as she lets out a long, heavy sigh. Her sigh was of a softly deflating, it was as if a tension had lifted yet left her with a melancholy instead of relief.

"I love you. I really fucking do. I just don't like you right now."

Moira - a person’s fate or destiny

Ethan couldn't stay away any longer after finally hearing her say those words and mean them, no shooter with a gun to her head, no nothing. In fact, she said it after he royally fucked up, that's got to mean something, right? Moving toward her as if gravity itself demands it of him, Ethan knows this might end badly for him, but it's a risk he has to take. For her, he has to.

Kneeling down, he got in her line of sight and while she rolled her eyes at him at first, she fixed her gaze on him after.

"I was scared you'd leave me. That you'd run and I'd never see you again. And I fucked up, I should have told you and I just...the longer it went on, the harder it was to...justify it all. But none of it was justified, because I never stopped being afraid." Daring to lay his palm on her thigh, Ethan nearly smiles when she doesn't tense up or move away, allowing him a mercy he didn't feel worthy of. Fear is an incredibly powerful influence, it is also a disguised demon. But Y/N? She’s always been too kind, too patient and he never really knew why up until now – she loves him just as much he loves her.

"I understand why you didn't tell me. I do. I just wish you had more faith in what we share...in me. You were everything and I don't know how to go back to that? Was I ever just a girl you love or was I always the soulmate you felt the obligation to love?" And that hurt him. That insecurity, the doubt, the unwillingness to believe she is without a doubt the only woman he would ever love, it broke him.

"With or without it, I'd have lived a thousand years if it meant you'd be waiting for me in the end. There is no one, past or present, I would put before you. I love you, with everything I am - heart and twenty one grams of soul." Sniffling, Ethan laid his other palm on her leg as well, holding onto her as if she's his sole anchor to the world.

"And I fucked up, big time, and I'd love nothing more than to make it up to you and it's not how I planned it either, but I think we have a chance to make something beautiful here. If you’ll have me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you", leaning toward his nightstand, Ethan opened the drawer and pulled out a tiny black box. Never in his life had he felt like he couldn't breathe, as if his lungs are burning for their dying breath, but when her eyes widen as he adjusts his position, making sure he's on one knee as he should be, Ethan forgot how to breathe.

"Marry me." Mustering the words with the last of his strength he watched her in hope, aware this is yet another thing he didn't want to do quite like this but it felt right. If she needed to know how much he loves her, he would go the extra mile.

Most soulmates don't get married because why would they when fate had sealed their fates together anyway. But he wanted to do that. He wanted to show her his love is stronger than anything and that she isn't just his soulmate, but the love of his life - his best friend and lover and his favorite person. Without her, he didn't see a future at all.

“You want me to”, she paused, trying to say the next words calmly instead of freaking out as openly as her heart is, “marry you?”

Seeing him nod had only fueled the last bit of anguish inside her, but then he smiles so nervously, revealing just how scared he truly is and she doesn’t want to make it worse because she doesn’t even know what she wants to do with everything that had been revealed. It’s always been impossible to truly resist him, feeling as if it might kill her, but this time she didn’t want to resist. Y/N didn’t want to fight anymore. What she needed is Ethan, even if he’s the last person she should care for right now.

Reaching for the box, she takes it from him gently. Taking a moment to look at the beautiful ring, she swallows thickly before closing the box altogether. His lips part open as a quiet gasp leaves him, his eyes forming more tears as she sets the box back on the bed and turns to him.

“I don’t think we need to make major decisions right now. If it’s alright with you, I’d rather just go to bed – no talking, just you and me.” And he can hear just how defeated, how drained she is and he can’t even imagine what it is for her and how heavily the baby must be affecting her, so he doesn’t challenge her. Swallowing every word he wants to say, biting back his tongue, Ethan just nods as he sits up, next to her.

Wrapping an arm around her, Ethan pulls her into his side, holding tightly as her arms circle around him and hold him closer. He doesn’t wait, moving them back onto the bed, not leaving her for a single second. It might as well be the last time she allows him to hold her so close, so intimately that he can feel her heart beating against his chest and he won’t waste the chance. He didn’t care about anything but her love - he’d have her love him wrong if she can’t love him right. Anything, but to be away from her - this night or any other.

Instead of creating space, he kisses her forehead and while she tried her best not to, a fleeting smile appeared on her lips. Draping a leg over his, she hides her head just under his chin, resting it on his chest as his fingers thread through her hair at the back of her neck. And just like that, in their silence, Ethan and Y/N laid together until emotions settled and their eyes closed for the night – too in love to let each other go.

Metanoia (n.) - the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, way of life

When morning came, Y/N was surprised to find herself alone in bed. She figured Ethan must have been paged and while a pang of hurt, jealousy even, followed, she couldn’t be mad at him for that. After all, she understands it comes with the job and while she hoped he’d take the day off to figure things out and make a definite choice on what they will do moving forward, she sighed. He’s got her devotion, but she really hates him sometimes.

She doesn’t want to fight him, nor sleep alone ever again, but this isn’t just like any other fight – this is a big deal, possibly the biggest of them all. How can she forgive him? Is it fair to crave him like the very air she breathes at the same time as her heart is wide open, bleeding because of his actions? But then her hand lingers on her stomach and she almost smiles with the thought of a small part of him being with her now, even when he’s not really there.

Flinging an arm to the empty place beside her, she finds herself wishing his beautiful smile was there to make the day lighter. Even now, she wished for his arms around her, to hear him say he loves her most ardently.

Groaning, she shakes her head at her own stupid self. Perhaps now when she had experienced soulmate love, a part of her forgave her parents for the way they acted – not with her but each other. Her mother forgave his father for the worst of sins, something Y/N couldn’t fathom at the time, but she’s now in a similar situation and it’s exhausting being angry with him…especially when new life is growing inside her and it’s a part of the person she loves most in the world. And no matter how sudden and unexpected it all is, she would never be like her parents. Her child would never feel unwanted or abandoned, she swore it. Even if it’s probably just a clump of cells, she fell in love with the baby. Ethan fucked up, but this baby isn’t guilty of any sin. The baby is a gift, she decided. And she’ll make him suffer, but Ethan is a gift as well and eventually she’ll forgive him. She’ll be graceful, forgiving, become his warmth in the cold of his long, lonely life. People think that forgiveness is weakness, but it's absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive and if anything, Y/N had become a strong individual with so much love to give and she’d give it to him…and their baby.

Yawning, she stretched before sitting up, a little woozy but in need of food. She had barely had anything to eat yesterday and her growling stomach wasn’t shy about reminding her of that fact. However, as she put his shirt on, she found herself missing him dearly. Resting her cheek on her own shoulder just to feel his scent better, she realized just how ridiculous she is, yet she enjoyed it anyway.

Tiptoeing to the kitchen, she quickly realized she was sorely mistake. Ethan didn’t abandon her this morning at all, he was just trying to be… for the lack of a better word, Ethan.

The table is set, her favorite flowers in the middle, stacks of pancakes already prepared. She tilts her head to the opened fridge and a man’s ass being the only visible thing at this point and she’d know his ass anywhere. As the fridge closes, she’s met with a peculiar sight – his hands are full with different dressings, he’s even got a pack of cream in his mouth and she can’t help but shake her head at him fondly, gracing him with a small smile.

“Ey”, he manages something resembling a greeting, his eyes wider as if he got caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. She’s fast by his side, grabbing the pack from his mouth before she says “Hey” too. He can’t help but notice his shirt on her, but he thought it would be safer not to comment on it.

“Since eggs make you sick, I thought you might like pancakes.” Ethan shrugged with an innocent, but hopeful smile. Exhaling through her nose, Y/N raises an eyebrow.

“I’m fine with eggs, E. It was part of the…joke. But I won’t argue, I love pancakes.”

And so they ate, glancing at each other awkwardly and while it’s completely unacceptable, Ethan wished he’d let him touch her stomach. The baby’s merely a blob at this point, but he really wanted to feel her stomach, to feel connected to both of them.

“Do you think Grayson is free today?” Y/N breaks his inner monologue. Blinking fast, Ethan nods, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because I want to do a checkup. I want to know everything is in order.” And that’s when Ethan stopped blinking altogether. In fact, he barely swallowed the last piece without choking.

“You want my brother to”, he stopped before he made things worse but Y/N picked up on what he means easily, rolling her eyes at him in irritation.

“I want him to do the ultrasound if it’s possible, a few labs, not a vaginal examination. I’ll ask Addy for that.” She explains, making it very, very clear she had no intention of letting Grayson anywhere near her lady parts.

Nodding, Ethan texted Grayson immediately, making it clear he’s to clear his schedule if he needs to and right when breakfast was over, the pair got ready and went into the clinic.

“Can I be happy for you?” Grayson whisper shouted in excitement as he lead them inside the room, all but clapping like a little kid, trying his best to ignore the glare Ethan is trying to kill him with.

“I’m still very angry with you. What you can do for me is do an ultrasound.” Y/N sent him a glare of her own, definitely more dangerous than Ethan’s, enough to make Grayson pipe down and press his lips together to hide any possible excitement as Y/N laid down and bared her stomach for him. Ethan settled on the chair beside the bed, his hand taking hers, interlocking their fingers and while she did glance at him in surprise, she didn’t fight his touch, rather tightened her hold on his hand in response.

“Did you draw blood?” Grayson questions as he starts the examination, trying to ease the tension that suffocated him. It’s evident she isn’t happy with either of the twins, but he didn’t expect to take so much heat for this. They’ve been friends this entire time, he thought it would have eased her anger but it seems that’s exactly what fueled it. He should have pushed Ethan to tell her sooner rather than later, maybe then they’d be laughing as they’re doing something so significant, something he’s dreaming of. He can’t wait to meet his soulmate, to fall in love and have kids and be more than what he is now. It’s nice to have more time to travel the world and find yourself, but the past fifty years have been too much. He’s been ready for a while now, he just can’t wait for her to be ready too.

“Yes. It will be back in a few. They did me a favor and put it first for testing.”

“I know you’re mad at me, princess, but this is the first baby Dolan and I’m still excited to be an uncle.” Grayson points out, only making Y/N confused.

“Didn’t you say your sister found her soulmate and is happy in Australia?”

“She did. But she isn’t romantic with her soulmate. They live across the street, but she’s married to someone else. They adopted three kids though. But it’s been a while since she died. Cameron found her soulmate when she was thirty and they had fifty two years together. We see her grandkids though.” Ethan responded, somber as he remembers the sister he loved dearly even if they didn’t always get along. She was always closer to Grayson and he struggled most when she passed even though they watched her grow old and she was very, very happy. That’s the curse of living so long – you see those you care for find their happiness and die while you’re frozen at twenty. It’s what Grayson fears the most – watching his brother grow old and die while he’s stuck as he is now.

Grayson nods, confirming Ethan’s words before licking his lips and his eyes narrow, making Y/N frown. Something doesn’t feel right. Grayson is never quiet, even if he’s trying not to get himself killed by her and maybe it has something to do with remembering his sister, but he’s too focused on the screen and his forehead is starting to glisten from sweat. The guy didn’t shut up the whole time as he did a breast ultrasound, so why did he quiet down now?

“You’re quiet. I don’t like it.” She spoke up, craning her neck to try and see the monitor and Ethan did the same.

Clearing his throat, Grayson turned to her with a small smile.

“Just need more gel.” Adding more of the cool gel on her stomach, Grayson emerges himself further into the ultrasound just as a knock on the door makes Y/N gasp.

“It’s Addy, I have the labs.” It’s time for Ethan to sweat because while Y/N may be perceptive and see that his brother is acting weird, he’s been with him for over a hundred years and he knows when something is off right from the start. Ethan sighs as the doctor enters. The sigh that came was a signal, not of his resolve leaving but of the level his tension had reached. Doctors aren’t usually ones picking up results, especially not experienced ones like Abby. Perhaps it’s special treatment because it’s Y/N and well, him, but he couldn’t help the odd feeling inside his chest that something’s amiss.

“Hello, dear. I got the call from the laboratory, so I thought I’d pick these up for you.” She smiles sweetly at Y/N and only then notices how serious everyone is. Seeing Ethan’s hand in Y/N’s only makes her smile wider, showing just how happy she is for Ethan to have found someone like Y/N. Addy wouldn’t comment on it, but she was wishing them a bright future.

“Thank you, Addison.” Grayson nods at the iPad, gesturing for her to hand it over and she’s quick to do so before excusing herself, leaving them alone.

“I swear to God if you don’t start speaking, I will start breaking things.” Y/N’s voice is low and threatening and her eyes are hard, but it doesn’t make it easier for Grayson at all.

“Your blood-work shows higher levels of Beta HCG, something that would show in a pregnancy.” Grayson starts, only to get interrupted with a very relieved chuckle from Ethan who was getting worse at hiding his joy over the pregnancy with each passing moment.

“You scared me. I thought there was something wrong.” But Ethan’s smile died down when he noticed Grayson’s gloomy face. There was no hints of joy on his face at all, just confusion and worry.

“There is something wrong, isn’t it?” Y/N forced herself to say it, to hear herself admit it. She wants this baby so bad, even if it isn’t the right timing nor way, but she does want the baby. Just this morning she felt…lucky for being able to get pregnant after thinking it wasn’t in the cards for her. She felt hopeful, and she didn’t feel lonely anymore. With Ethan and a tiny Ethan around, she saw her future filled with smiles and now? She couldn’t grasp it. It felt like she lost everything.

“Say it.” She insisted, because she needed to hear it. She needed to know. And though he knew he shouldn’t, Grayson said it.

“I can’t find the heartbeat.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tags: @beinscorpio @peacedolantwins @heyits-claire @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @ethanhes @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12 @zeusgrayson @libradolan @justordinaryjen @pineappledolan @graysavant @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan @shadowsndaisies @maybgrayson @dolans4lyfe @mendesficsxbombay @fxkthatdairy @sharpdolan @hollietee1

Anyone crossed out wasn’t able to be tagged, probably an issue on Tumblr’s side, sorry.

#dolan twins #ethan dolan #grayson dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan au #ethan dolan doctor soulmate au #ethan dolan doctor au #ethan dolan soulmate au #ethan dolan series

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halstudandruz · 5 years

Text

Talk About a Dream (NSFW)

*Not my gifs*

Pairing: Jay Halstead/Kelly Severide x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Reader can’t pick between Jay and Kelly. They make it work.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (18+), Threesome

It had been a long week at the firehouse and you were more than happy to be done with your shift. It seemed like every shift you were on that week was nothing but sadness. Having dealt with more deaths in three twenty four hours shifts than you were okay with. You knew you couldn’t let work hit you too hard, but regardless of whether you were a paramedic or accountant you would always care about people. It was just the type of person you were and sadly you tend to take things a little harder than others, but you would rather help than just let it happen. You were at your locker getting ready to leave whenever Kelly came up behind you.

“Hey, [Y/L/N], you coming to Molly’s tonight?” He asked making you jump.

“I don’t know. It’s been a long week.” You answered shutting your locker.

“All the more reason to come.” He shrugged smile on his face.

“We’ll see.” You smiled back slinging your bag on your shoulder and heading out. Just as you reached your car you felt your phone buzz. Pulling it out you seen Jay’s name pop up.

“Molly’s tonight?” The text read. You texted back a maybe throwing your phone in the cup holder and starting your car. You had met Jay through work. 51 and Intelligence had crossed paths plenty of times and thanks to Hermann opening up Molly’s you all had grown even closer. Now the problem that was beginning to surface was your feelings for both men. Kelly and Jay were definitely different in some ways but oh so similar in others. They both took their work seriously, always willing to put their lives on the line for others, intense but in a good way, strong, passionate, and just overall very very good looking. Just when you thought you had made up your mind on which way to go, it would take all but 10 minutes for the other to send your head spinning once again. On top of all of that they were both great friends and you didn’t want to ruin anything with either of them. Not that you were positive that they liked you or anything you just didn’t want to cause any drama or blow anything up. So, in fear of all of that you kept to yourself until you were fully and undoubtedly ready to make a decision. What you didn’t know was that your long ass horrible week was about to end on a completely opposite note. After going home and catching up on sleep you were awoken to a few more texts from both Jay and Kelly begging you to come out. Finally you gave in. Going about your day normally, showering, eating, cleaning your apartment (and thank goodness you did), before you had gotten ready. Throwing a nice outfit on, enough to show yourself off but not in a slutty attention seeking way, doing your hair and makeup, and heading down to Molly’s. You took a Uber not wanting to worry about what you would do if you did end up drunk. Walking in a lot of the regulars were already there. Meaning those from 51 and Intelligence.

“Can I have a Long Island please?” You asked reaching the bar and giving Gabby a smile.

“I know you’ve had a rough week, but talk about starting off strong.” She laughed turning to grab a glass.

“I’m ready to let it all wash away.” You replied.

“You made it.” You heard from behind you turning to face Severide as he laid a kiss on your cheek.

“She did indeed and she is ready to dive right in. Good luck.” Gabby joked sitting your drink in front of you. Severide raised and eyebrow at you.

“I like where this is going.” He flirted, taking a drink of his beer.

“I’m going to need you to drink something a little more potent than beer there Sev.” You smirked.

“Three shots it is.” Jay jumped in to the conversation sitting beside you as Hermann laid three shot glasses in front of you three. For the next two hours it was pretty much a repeat of that. Shots, shots, and more shots between the three of you. As well as flirting thrown at you from both sides. It was slightly odd. It was like they knew one another were flirting, but they didn’t want to compete.

“I’m bored. Can we go bar hopping?” You asked excited with your idea.

“Sweetheart all the other bars are like 15 minutes away.” Jay replied.

“There is that dance club that just opened down the street.” Severide contributed.

“Dance club?” You raised an eyebrow giving him a look.

“It’s not a strip club.” He laughed, “It’s an actual club.” He promised. A smile formed on your face as you turned to Jay waiting for an answer.

“I’m in if you are.” He shrugged. You jumped up stumbling a bit as you did Severide catching your arm steadying you.

“Hey, don’t do anything stupid you three.” Hermann warned as you three bid your goodbyes unable to convince anyone else to join you. Throwing you in the den to try it out first before they wasted their time there. Jay already had a taxi waiting outside for you guys. It took you about 5 minutes to get there. Walking in you were met with loud music, couples all over the place, and lights flashing.

“You weren’t kidding when you said club.” You joked to Severide.

“I’m going to go get us drinks.” He said walking off from you and Jay. You took notice of all the couples around you “dancing” on the floor. You smirked taking Jay’s hand pulling him with you.

“I can’t dance.” He said wide eyed.

“It’s not hard Jay. Just move with me.” You smiled turning so his front was against your back as you placed his hands on your hips. Normally you couldn’t dance either, but you were drunk and didn’t really care. “See. Easy.” You bit your lip feeling him move against you leaning back further into his chest. “I like you this close to me...you’re warm.” You admitted smiling to yourself as you felt Jay grab your hips tighter.

“I leave for two seconds and you duck out from me?” Kelly challenged smirk on his face holding out drinks to both you and Jay.

“Nobody said you couldn’t join.” You retorted taking the drink and grabbing his hand to bring him against you. He took no time falling into the role swaying the front of his body against yours as Jay stayed behind you. You felt Jay’s lips lay light kisses along your neck, and looking back now you were 100% sure this is where you judgement went flying out the window, but you were damn sure happy it did.

You tilted your neck to the side giving him more access as you felt his smile against your neck. You looked at Kelly sensing his body stiffen a bit at the sight before looking back down at you. Your eyes glanced to his lips before your hand slipped around his neck gently pulling him down to you. He wasted no time at all capturing your lips. Attacking them in a rough but sweet kiss. Your arm reached back looping around Jay’s neck pulling him closer against you as his hand traveled down the front of you just as Kelly pulled back out of breath. “Can we get out of here?” You asked eyes flickering between each man. They seemed to look at each other for acceptance before Jay took your hand pulling you outside.

You jumped into your last taxi for the night as Severide told the driver your address. Sitting between them you lay your hand on Severide thigh teasingly moving it up and down as you lay your head on Jay’s shoulder occasionally planting a soft kiss against his neck. It took about 5 minutes to get back to your apartment. The three of you stumbling in the door quickly. You were the first one in followed by Kelly, then Jay who shut the door and spun you around against it tilting your head up to duck his lips onto yours. Jay’s kiss was more gentle than Severide’s taking the time to feel your lips against his, taking in the taste of you. You pulled back taking Jay’s hand and leading him to the couch where Kelly already sat shirtless.

You sat him down beside Kelly before pulling his shirt off as well admiring the men in front of you. “Talk about a damn dream.” You smirked before straddling Jay on the couch. Your fingers threaded through his hair pulling him to your lips again. This time you felt Kelly kneel behind you placing kiss up and down the back of your neck. He pulled you back just enough to get your shirt off letting you go back to what you were doing as he ran his lips across your shoulders down your back as he reached in front of you to squeeze your breasts. You hummed arching back into Kelly making you grind down onto Jay unintentionally earning a small groan from him causing you smile into the kiss. Kelly stood up pulling you with him.

You sauntered off towards the bedroom leaving the boys to follow and they were quick to do so. However you were already stripped naked by the time they walked in smirking as they both looked over you lust clear on both their faces. You pulled Kelly over first laying him down on the bed. You kissed him lightly palming him through his jeans only doing so to tease him knowing he was already hard as he played with your breasts. Your lips made their way from his all the way down to the waistband of his jeans before you worked to get them off. Him helping you in the meantime. By the time you looked back up his dick was against his stomach precum already drilling out and your mouth watered at the sight.

“Well?” He asked smirking down at you. You licked your lips whimpering a little before flattening your tongue against the head of his dick licking the precum away making him suck in a sharp breath. You took that as a good sign to go ahead licking up the bottom of his shaft before wrapping your lips around his dick. You started off slow attempting to figure out what movements he liked best and once you seemed to figure it out you went faster and sucked harder keeping his hips pinned to the bed as his eyes were closed and his fingers were threaded in your hair. “Wow. Your mouth is incredible [Y/N]. Yes, just like that.” Kelly grunted. You felt the bed dip behind you before you felt Jay’s hands rubbing up and down your back. He kissed along your spine before sneaking a hand in front of you slowly and gently running a finger up your folds. You moaned quietly adjusting yourself so you could open your legs wider and once again he ran his finger against you but this time he stopped at your clit starting to rub it.

You took a deep breath in trying to stay focused on Kelly at the same time. You stayed like this for a few minutes enjoying it all letting Kelly occasionally fuck into your mouth until you felt Jay back away from you. His fingertips running down your ass to your thighs until you felt him lick a strip up your pussy. Immediately moaning around Kelly at the contact in return Kelly bucking up into your throat. You heard Jay chuckle before you felt his tongue dive in you again. He took his time tasting every inch of you before bringing a finger up and slowly pushing it in as he continued to lick at your clit. You popped off of Kelly throwing your head back at the feeling.

“Oh my good god Jay yes.” You breathed out pushing back towards him. Kelly let Jay work his magic on you as he ran a hand up and down his shaft watching your face and taking in the noises you were making. Jay added another finger curling them up making you moan out in pleasure moving your hips back to ride Jay’s fingers. Between the way his tongue flicked across your clit in the most perfect way and his fingers curled up hitting the right spot every time it didn’t take long for you to hit a high clenching around Jay’s fingers and screaming out a few curse words, head falling down on Kelly’s stomach. As soon as you composed yourself again you stood up making Kelly and Jay switch places. This was the first time you had gotten to take in all of Jay. His dick was a little longer whereas Severide’s seemed thicker but they were both bigger than you had expected. You smirked taking Jay’s dick into your hand slowly moving it up and down gaining a very quiet groan from him. You smiled down at him giving him a quick but deep kiss before going straight in to wrap your mouth around his dick. Not expecting the quick motion Jay gave a louder moan this time involuntarily bucking up into your mouth making you gag around his dick.

“Sorry honey.” Jay apologized threading his hands through your hair. You give him a quick kiss to the tip of his dick before going back down on him as a way to say it was okay. As your mouth was working diligently on Jay’s dick. Kelly laid a soft hand on your back leaning down to your ear.

“You ready to get wrecked baby?” Kelly asked smirk clear in his voice as he kissed you lightly below your ear. You nodded your head vigorously Jay’s dick still completely filling your mouth. You felt Kelly stand up and adjust you so that his dick was lined with your entrance. “You’re sure about this [Y/N]?” Severide asked again hands on each side of your waist, dick ready to slide in on the word go. You wiggled your hips sliding back on him slightly. He took the hint slowly sliding into you. He occasionally stopped letting you adjust before you let him know you were good, fingers tightening around your waist each time. As soon as he bottomed out he let out a loud moan head falling onto your shoulder. “Holy fuck Halstead she’s so tight.” Kelly said making you chuckle. Eventually you both got your rhythm to match. Kelly thrusting into you at the same speed you went down on Jay’s dick. The room was filled with moans and smells of sex and sweat. Your throat and jaw were aching but the amount of pleasure you were taking in was enough to make it worth every second. Soon you could feel a knot form in your stomach for the second time that night. You reluctantly pulled off of Jay as your hand replaced your mouth.

“Sev, I’m gonna cum..” You croaked breaths getting heavier as you lazily moved your hand up and down Jay’s shaft, but fast enough that Jay was still enjoying it. Lifting his head to watch you cum.

“Good cause me too.” Kelly admitted starting to take harder and shallower thrusts. By the third one you felt yourself clench letting out a loud moan of Kelly’s name shutting your eyes as you seen stars. Just as you finished you felt Kelly quickly pull out warm spurts of his cum covering your back. It took a second for you two to settle yourselves again but finally Severide stood up informing you that he was going to retrieve a washcloth. You smiled up at Jay going to move your mouth on him again but he shook his head pulling you to his lips. You kissed him lazily before pulling back to look at him confused.

“You okay with going for one more?” He asked. You grinned wide pecking him on the lips before moving to straddle him. You took a deep breath taking ahold of Jay’s dick and lining him up to your pussy before slowly sinking down on him.

“You just got pounded and your still tight as hell babygirl.” Jay whined eyes closed.

“I don’t think you’re complaining about that.” You joked leaning down to kiss him quickly. You heard footsteps and looked to see Kelly walking in surprised at the sight but then laughing. He walked over taking the washcloth and wiping his cum off your back before going to set down beside you.

“How’s she feel Halstead?” Kelly asked looking at you smile on his face.

“Fucking amazing.” Jay answered moving his hands to grab onto your hips. You laughed laying your hands across his chest adjusting your legs to begin finally moving on Jay’s dick. Jay was already sensitive from your mouth so it took no time at all for him to be a moaning mess. Which was truly the hottest thing you had ever witnessed. Jay below you head thrown back, voice completely strained, sweat dripping down his forehead, and he was doing all he absolutely could to not move his hips up into you. As you moved flawlessly on Jay, Kelly sat beside you playing with your breasts. Mouth covering one nipple as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers. Alternating between the two. In what felt like two minutes you had already felt your legs starting to shake feeling like your orgasm was near.

“Jay...baby..I’m close..” You breathed out biting your lips hard.

“Me too..” He said through a clenched jaw trying to move you off.

“No...please cum in me. Please Jay. I want you to fill my pussy with your cum.” You whined. Pleasure making your common sense jump out of the window. This made him finally lose his control gripping your hips tight and beginning to fuck up into you harder than you thought possible. Kelly moved his hand down to rub your clit still working on your nipples. To say you were in absolutely bliss was an understatement. You couldn’t hold back the loud yell that came from you as you practically convulsed around Jay’s dick, Kelly having to hold you up while Jay filled you with his cum. You collapsed down onto Jay as he tried to move you to pull out. Whimpering at the sensitivity he kissed your forehead Kelly moving to grab the washcloth he had tossed aside again. You rolled off of Jay legs still trembling in awe of what had happened. Jay moved over pulling you into his side to give Kelly room to lay beside you. As he cleaned you up again. Laying down on your other side once he was done. You had never been so glad to have a king size bed. “Well...that was..something.” You laughed cuddling into Jay.

“Good something?” Kelly asked turning to spoon you.

“Very good something.” You smiled. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep wrapped around the two men. However, by the time you woke up the next morning you were left in bed by yourself. Groaning as the sunlight hit your eyes you drug yourself out of bed to get medicine from the kitchen. Upon walking out you seen Jay and Kelly joking with each other making breakfast. Both of them shirtless. You let a whine slip out of your mouth causing them both to turn towards you.

“Goodmorning.” They said at the same time Kelly walking over to hand you Advil and a bottle of water kissing you on the forehead.

“Thank you.” You smiled shyly taking it and going to sit on the stool in front of the island. “Soo.. last night really happened?” You asked biting your lip.

“Yes, yes it did.” Jay smirked laying a plate in front of you. “You regretting it?” He asked laying his head on his hand.

“What sane person would have regretted that?” You giggled.

“So, now that you’ve had the whole experience you finally ready to pick one of us?” Kelly asked sitting next to you making your eyes go wide.

“I-I don’t..” You stumbled.

“He’s joking honey.” Jay cut you off smiling. “Unless you really are ready to pick one of us.” He added.

“We’re not going to rush you, but we want you to know we won’t be mad regardless. We both just want you to be happy.” Kelly contributed.

“In the meantime, if you want to continue to have some fun I think we’re both up for that.” Jay grinned coming behind you to plant a kiss on your neck. Waking up this morning you were leaning towards one of them but you knew in a matter of minutes your head would once again be up in the air and you couldn’t be mad about that.

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