#i dont think im actually adding anything to the discussion here
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it’s a me a 12 am anon . my girlfriend and i had a discussion abt how odd it is that the fandom views and stereotypes the batfam like
dick is romanian and has more fem related traits and somehow it translates into him being a dumb womanizer or just an annoying mother hen?
jason grew up in the streets, i think its popular to hc him as hispanic? idk but jts odd how ppl do that and also think hes an angry heartless brute
cass gets that “badass asian dragon lady” archetype (tbh im not sure what it is but my gf is passionate abt it so like im confident she’s right)
tim?? somehow ive seen wasian hcs for him but the boy is autistic right? somehow a stereotype i see for him is like “weird and socially awkward but super smart” which . i dont think thats right .
steph is adhd right? i think? also falls into the dumb “waffles r my only personality trait” stereotype and uts just a tiny bit odd dyou see it?
damian (and by extension talia) gets done dirty a lot i think i dont .yeah
nyways sorry its been a while <3 would llve to hear ur thoughts n opinions
hey again!!
Batfam fanon is...not great. And it's things like this that remind me why I kinda avoided this fandom until I couldn't.
Dick
Dick is Romani and is canonically more feminized but the dumb womanizer thing is really getting on my nerves. First of all, he's one of the smartest characters, ever. The comforting thing about Dick is that he never loses.
The reason I love reading Dick Grayson runs is because I can read about his thought process, the way he analyzes, how he single-handedly solves crime like it's nothing.
Batman (1940) Issue #703
Secondly he's not a womanizer. He literally has a mental break down at the thought of dating or even kissing someone he isn't in love with. He's never, ever, ever going to sleep with someone he doesn't have atleast some level of romantic attraction to because he feels it's inherently wrong and canonically frowns upon that behavior when others do it.
The mother hen thing - I gotta admit is kinda accurate. He really loves his family and friends and takes care of them really well. He always makes time to sit and listen to all of them with all their problems and helps them solve it so that's fine.
Jason
The hispanic thing - what the actual heck. Literally why? Jason's "hispanic" fanon background along with Tim's "asian" background comes from a wider problem where society has become disillusioned by the same ethnicity for all characters and wants for diversity and representation in the media. I actually do believe in greater representation but not here. When people make Jason hispanic due to his street backstory, they're attempting to diversify canonically white characters but accidentally reinforcing and perpetrating damaging stereotypes about particular ethnicities. Because his background has drugs, poverty, and crime - you want Jason to be Latino? Can you possibly make things worse? And Jason being an angry heartless brute. Not even adding to the stereotype, Jason was not like that. Jason originally started off as troubled but excited kid. He was happy about fighting criminals and having a home and getting food. As he grew older, the more criminals he fought, he came to a realization that people weren't going to change which is when he started getting more violent and angry with them. He didn't do it because he was some sort of psychopath, it's because he cared a lot about the effects these criminals were having on innocent people. Because he can relate. His anger has nothing to do with his supposed "hispanic" background which is still - ?!?!? Why is this even a thing.
Cass
I don't really have anything to say about Cass being that archetype because tbh I kinda think of her like that too. She's exceptionally good at fighting, she's chinese, and she's the strong and silent type. I'd love to hear more about what your gf thinks about it though.
Tim
Again about Tim being Asian. No where near as damaging as Jason being classified Hispanic but also why? He's asian because he's smart? Because he's good at computers? C'mon the stereotype is boring. Isn't it exciting when you watch a movie or show and the Indian guy isn't an IT specialist? Or when the Chinese girl has neon highlights and loves partying? Or when the Japanese girl is rocking combat boots? The best way to appreciate diversity is actually letting ethnic characters have diverse personalities and talents. On a side note, there is not nearly enough celebration of already canonically diverse characters like Roy's navajo heritage or Jessica Cruz's latina one. Isn't it ironic how we're making racialized characters based on stereotypes because we believe there should be more diversity but ignoring canonically ethnic ones. Literally noone talks about Cass connecting to her Chinese side or the fact that she has dyslexia but we're readily jumping on the Asian Tim Drake train.
Autistic Tim Drake I can see where they're coming from because Tim sometimes has a hard time connecting to people. Like he sometimes misses social cues. And to be fair this theory actually has more credibility than some other ones because I don't know if I'd pass that off as awkwardness. But it also may be due to lack of human interaction. Tim's parents left him alone for long periods of time which he gleefully used to track robin and batman at night. I don't have a problem with this one because Tim may actually be inadvertently written as autistic at times so I guess it wouldn't be that far off canon.
Steph
People with ADHD are typically impulsive, don't focus on one thing for too long, and have a lot of energy which is very much like Steph.
Batgirl (2009) Issue #10
But mostly she just has a sense of humor. Which - like the case with Dick - because of course people can't be multifaceted, fandom generally takes for stupidity.
She's not dumb, she's just fun. I guess the waffle thing is because of human beings' pathological need to classify everything into categories and fanon likes to run with dumb blonde for Stephanie which really ticks me off. People can not be a gloomy avenger and still be smart. She solves her crimes and has a laugh while doing it and still pulling off the -
Batgirl (2009) Issue #12
Damian
Where do I start. What is even happening to him? Not in fandom necessarily but canon. What is DC doing???
#rant post#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#cassandra cain#black bat#stephanie brown#batgirl#damian wayne#fanon vs canon#cl 12 am anon asks#thanks for the ask!
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A Complete Guide To Chaotic Academia
bc its my fav aesthetic and there is not enough content about it
Outfits
most people say that chaotic academia is just dark academia but a little bit more messy, and, well, chaotic. the truth is, chaotic academia is A LOT more messy than dark academia. you can still use dark academia as kind of a "base", but you are going to replace your blazers with flannels, your turtlenecks with tshirts. as for pants, you can go with litteraly anything: cigarette pants, tailored trousers, ripped-up jeans or normal black leggings. i personally really ike ripped up overalls bc they give that "i dont really give a damn, im so misunderstood, my parents didnt love me, im a crazy lonely introverted teenage child" vibe...idk. whatever you wear, make sure you feel comfortable in it! even tho in chaotic academia there are almost no rules at all, here are some things that might help you!
colours: any earthy tones are fine, brown, caramel, dark green, dark red, white, etc etc
fictional characters that might inspire you:
-remus lupin
- any dpc character
- jess mariano
- sydney novak
accesories: flannels (a personal fav + they make even the most boring fit look better), cardigans, converse (bonus points if you draw/write on them or if you have them laced in a weird way), bracelets or necklaces that mean something to you, harry potter back packs, tote bags...
hairstyles: whatever you want, just make sure your hair is ALWAYS messy, looking like you just fucking woke up
Activities and Traits
ok now we're getting to the actually important part bc (repeat after me): chaotic academia is not about how you look, its about how you live and how you act. so here r some thing that might help:
- annotating books with the most unhinged random thoughts
- learning poetry or speeches word for word but not remembering most of the things for school
- studying in the (school) library and being besties with the librarian (optional)
- leaving notes (on trees, mailboxes or library books) for strangers to find
- "studying while listening to classical music" and then instead of studying you end up agressivly mouthing your favorite song
- im sure yall already heard this one, but yes, swearing and slag while discussing deep academic topics is incredibly important
- speaking of important topics: posting something important on social media knowing no one will read it
- doodles on your hands 24/7 (NO SUSAN, I DONT GIVE A DAMN THAT ITS BAD FOR MY SKIN)
- sarcasm. a lot.
- random thoughts
- random quotes
- knowing a ton of conspiracy theories that you dont even beileve in by heart
- listening to all different types of podcasts
- one day reading the classics, the next ya fantasy and day after that ao3 smut
- multifandom, multishipper
- tea/coffee addiction
- adding b.c. to todays date when writing it in school
- random thoughts and the weirdest annotations in your school notebooks, especially the classes that you find boring
- "going to the bathroom" and then spending half of your math class drawing/reading/smoking/crying/thinking/whatever the fuck you wanna do there bc ur tired of everything
- stealing random stuff from stores (tho it is not encouraged blah blah blah)
- watching gilmore girls every fall
- telling people ur favorite colour is green even tho it isnt just to let them know that ur gay
- reading in class, on breaks, at home, parks, meetings, aethletic events, and generally all the fucking time
- doing (mostly) everything last minute
- bad at photography, but you enjoy it
- cold tea my beloved
- wearing one item every day: it can either be a necklace, a flannel, a bracelet, a badge, headphones, earrings etc etc
- extremely messy handwriting, always writing with black pen
- crying at least once a day, but only when ur alone, being super emotional but never showing it
- hobbies include reading, screaming in your pillow, learning unique languages that you will probably never use, rewatching dead poets society, harry potter, enola holmes, end of the fucking world and gilmore girls
- massive bookworm, reads all the time, always has a book with them
- skipping class, not that often tho
- 💫anger issues💫
- hyperactive and lazy at the same time
- uses big words but makes fun of other people when they do it
- writes (rebellious) book quotes everywhere, every single one of their notebooks had IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US written in them lol
- random useless powerpoints
- analysing taylor swift's folklore and evermore instead of sheakspeare because its just better
- retired almost-emo, had a phase when they wore black and acted all mysterious but were never really emo i cant explain it
- likes mcr. this one speaks for itself.
- gay and sad. no explanation needed.
Books, Movies and Music
Books:
- Harry Potter by you know who (WE DONT SUPPORT HER THO)
- The Secret History by Donna Tartt
- Night School by CJ Daugherty (is that how u spell it lol)
- The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo
- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman
- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
- Emma by Jane Austen
- Hamlet by Do I Really Need To Say Who
- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
- The Picture of Dorain Gray by Oscar Wilde
- Frankenstein by Marry Shelley
Movies/TV Shows
- end of the fucking world
- heartstopper
- harry potter
- enola holmes
- dead poets society
- gilmore girls
- httyd (no kidding lol)
im not really a film girlie so if yall have any recs please lmk
Music:
- Mother Mother
- Taylor Swift (obviously)
- Lana Del Slay
- Conan Gray
- Olivia Rodrigo
- My Chemical Romance
- Lovejoy
- Bowie
- Queen
- Radiohead
- Björk
- Those random Disney songs i know you scream to at 3am
also whoever sings the IMJUSTATEENAGEDIRTBAGBAABBYY song
here is my playlist if yall wanna listen to it
hope that helps lol
#chaotic academia#academia aesthetic#light academia#dark academia#jess mariano#dead poets society#dead gay wizards#why is everyone dead help#gay and sad#books#fanfiction#remus lupin#wolfstar#anti jkr#Spotify
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first of all theres no need to be angry??? i was genuinely asking because i didnt (and still dont) understand your anger. i actually really love ur blog and this is all coming from confusion, not aggression i promise. i have a couple things i wanted to add and a few GENUINE! NOT RETHORICAL questions :
me sending you that ask was not about trying to tell you that your experience with being aromantic and autistic at the same time are not intertwined - im just confused cause
1. ur posts were formulated as absolutes - so this could be (without the subtext that we know this is about yourself) about anyone
"something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not" -- "same goes for being aromantic/asexual. every character WILL come out at least a little aspec"
theres a difference between a "no one told me this but every character *i* write ends up etc" and "they don't tell *you* that every character *you* will write etc",
2. when people reblog the post about autism theyre not talking about user @apollos-boyfriend writing autistic-coded characters theyre talking about themselves. they could make the post themselves, YES, but usually
they want to show that they relate to apollos-boyfriend
or they think theres no point in repeating something that was already well said
or they give you credit for pointing something they didnt think of before.
you reblog a post to put it on YOUR own blog after all, its all about adding to your own collage. if i could just repeat everything i agreed with and post it on my acc, theres no point in ever reblogging anything. its all about interaction, relatability and credit when its due
now, here are a couple questions i have :
if other people arent aro AND autistic at the same time or if their experience doesnt overlap like yours, i honestly dont see the problem about reblogging a post and not the other. is it because you wish your aro-ace experience got as much visibility? because the acespec is underrepresented?
why not just make a post about both if you don't want people to separate this? or edit the og to add the aroace angle?
it is 5:30 am sorry my guy but i’m not having a philosophical debate/discussion with a stranger on the internet rn
#muse talk#anon#i am not angry i am tired. hope this helps 👍#in all senses of the word#from your last blurb i’ll just say i do not make non-fandom posts for anyone else#i did not edit because there could have been versions with the original#and it is easier to add on than deal with that#i reblog posts with additions i don’t relate to/experience all the time. who give a fuck
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Hello I'm sorry to interrupt your inbox. As a lesbian who enjoys anthropomorphic animal art and media, you are absolutely right about the furry fandom. Yeah it houses many gay people but ultimately most of them are opposite sex attracted. It's still male dominated, it's rampant with sexual abusers and misogyny. You're damned if you point it out, or if someone expresses 'negative opinions' regarding their unchecked pornographic obsession they go ballistic. Of course a fandom where everyone is hiding behind a cutesy animal mascot and playing pretend is going to latch onto the ideologies of the trans movement, so the two pat one another on the back and no criticism is allowed lest you are 'sowing seeds against unity'. It's real nice having my sexual orientation conflated with straight men who sexually harass girls on the Internet and jack off to wolves with impossibly large beach ball breasts, who face no actual consequences for anything and live cushy realities. Not to mention how many furries used to be Nazifurs or sexual abusers (especially trans-identified males) but because they've adopted a "queer" identity they get to be do-no-wrong figureheads often because the fandom loves their artwork and pornography. It's a discussion I think needs to happen but who is going to bring it to attention that won't get death and rape threats? How ashamed I am to enjoy this interest because a bunch of sex pests (at best) think they're on par with gay people because "we're all freaks", and clearly think being gay is the same thing as having a fetish or paraphilia. Thank you for reading all of that, apologies if I'm incoherent.
thank you for sharing! im sorry that this community is overrun with freaks. i have seen some cute furry art too because obviously there is nothing wrong with anthropomorphic animal art, they are everywhere, in ads, cartoons, movies… but more often than not especially on twitter or here or reddit, it is related to fetish and its a sex thing. and i have heard about all those issues you pointed out, porn, the latching onto lgb and t, and even darker neonazis and animal rapists. but because they are already outcasts they dont allow real criticism
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yes this is the dante theory list for those who liked this post but im also making it my pinned
First; Hi, I'm Md (they/it/she) and welcome to my autism hole. Boops you. HERE is my art blog, HERE is my eldritch sideblog, HERE is my berserkerlot sideblog, and HERE is my photoblog, HERE is my AO3, HERE is my Flight Rising, HERE is my BlueSky. Okay, now back to the actual post. Limbus FC is C092709920.
Md's hot hot list of Dante limbus theories that I've been sitting on since I started playing
ONE OF THESE WILL BE RIGHT. MAYBE. cut for length. discuss in the comments. contains ruina and lobocorp spoilers. maybe even leviathan spoilers. assume spoilers for the newest content. pinning so i can keep adding to it in the future. (edited 5/11 for consistency) (up to canto 6.3)
Theory 1, from early march 2023- Dante has the option to get their head back, takes it. Human Dante is shown. except clearly hiding unfamiliarity with the sinners. The clock head is still alive. A clock doesnt need a body to live. Human evil dante uses the golden whatever to cause Problems and has the sinners chained to them. vergil is free tho so he can beat down evil dante. (this now works with a canto 5 tidbit where vergil said he'd only step in if "all sinners dead, dante is beaten, and the hands of the clock are about to be torn off".)
T2, 3/12- 9 circles of hell, Dante, and a few subsections. Dante is sinner 10. Charon is also in the divine comedy so she'll get a section. Dante are u lucifer. who is the lucifer of the setting?? i'm saying pre-dante Dante until otherwise noted. (not personally fond of this one)
T3, 3/15- iori saw limbus going a certain way and guaranteed it by making sure Dante got factory reset by force. villain to cause heroism. (dont know enough about Iori for this one)
**T4- Backwards clock relation possible. (possibly canon validated) (even more possible connection as of 6.3)
T5- Saying Dante had a significant other named Beatrice is way too low bar but It's a necessary one. ech
T6- Dante IS Beatrice and given the name of someone else. (too ez)
T7, 3/17- future Dante guaranteeing the future changes by getting past Dante's head removed. issue solved. This one is based on the opening and reading the lyrics real goodly.
T8, 3/20- Dante's head has a lil bit of angelas ai in there. or ayin data. benjamin. any of them. carmen even. fuck whatever. maybe hokma bc ticking in ruina theme. (this one lead to some Better Ideas. see later) (4/7) POSSIBLY SUPPORTED BY 6.2. WHY DID THEY SEE THAT.
T9, 3/23- The three censored letters. B E A, S I N, E G O, A L I, who knows. v e r. could be anything this one is nothing
T10, 3/26- Faust VERY SPECIFICALLY says that brains cant be replaced-- so even if Dante gets their head back, it's incompatible now. (!! this is a Top Theory)
T11, 3/28- Beatrice or someone else died around Christmas, which makes Dante sad even without their memories. The pain exists but the context is missing. (They also seem to know Christmas music without any issue, able to sing along with Charon in their head. This is not addressed in canon.)
T12, 3/30- Beatrice was one of the orphans that died in Leviathan :) the time period matches up. It was around Christmas.
T13, 3/31- HARD LOBOCORP SPOILER. Thinking about In Hell We Live (Lament). "Each loop we live/die thru"? How many times? How many times has Dante done this? Or Pre-Dante, anyway. Faust is probably in on it. The new L corp took one look at what Ayin was doing and went "we can do that too lmao". Losing their memory was a base requirement to prevent madness. I rewrote this theory on 9/19 but added "to prevent a paradox"
T14, 4/18- Less a HC and more a suggestion, just use F Corp's shit to Unlock Dante's memory. If we ever visit District F, you KNOW Faust is gonna keep them on one hell of a tight leash.
T15- Is the Star a Singularity? Did Dante STEAL it? Are THEY the singularity? The clock? This one's too easy too though.
T16, 5/8- WAT IF THE STAR IS LUCIFER. MORNING STAR. CAN MANIPULATE SOULS IN HELL. (weak but proj moon loves their Christian imagery. this will come back repeatedly) not this one. maybe
T17, 5/10- Dante is either connected to whitenight OR a jesus figure (12 apostles, sin, not dying when killed, revives people, etc. the christianity again. it will continue. i already drew plague doc dante.) (4/7, possible but carmen is the lucifer adjacent if 6-34 is anything to go by. jesus is still open.)
**T18. 5/16- Dante's clock hands are made from a Golden Bough. ez. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO canto 5.2
T19. 6/16- This has 0 canon basis but what if Dante was a Bloodfiend, would that be cool or what? They already don't need to eat, but is that from the clock or something else? Do they get IVs with nutrients? How does this work? Idk. I just want Dante to cut their hand open, make giant claws and rip a man apart before eating dirt. Dante can chew on a Sinner as a treat. c: I just want this one.
T20- Wouldn't it be fucked up if Dante found their head and it had either Distorted or was an Abnormality??
T21, 9/29- Religious Bastard Dieci Dante Aligheri.
T22- Dante has gotten Very Attached to the Sinners as their only form of contact while they've gotten themselves together. They recently realized many Sinners are doing this for the end goals, not to be a team. This seemed to upset them. UPSET THEM MORE. DISTORT THEM. DANTE REALIZES THEY'LL ALL LEAVE WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD. Carmen! Come get this bitch.
T23- Actually, Dante should distort for any reason. I Absolutely Understand the Mechanics (lying). Got too depressed, hit -45 SAN and decided they're just a useless tool instead of a person? Absolutely. You're now a piece of equipment. (when Heath asks if they're okay in canto 5 bc they got injured, dante responds "the clocks fine so who cares?") (I now understand the mechanics but want it anyway) They won't.
T24- Building off the previous, they're really starting to believe they're just a tool like how Gregor thinks he's a bug. That Is Not Good For Your Mental Health (garry ib icon.png)
T25- Putting this here just before my fav one, their skin. We never see it, so a list of potential possibilities excluding Being White bc that's BORING: Any POC, ashy skin (like vergil), dark ashy (charon), pure black or close to (a lot of people do this, me included), dark and covered in stars, very tattooed, very mechanical, just outright a robot, bloodfiend again, scarred, frankensteiny, bough roots, fucked up censored, ETC. Based on the few images we have that show anything, it's just pitch black under there unless it's a skinsuit. the rest of them may be any of the above but for now most of these are defunct.
T26- My Current Top Theory of All Time- Dante is an AI. They have never been human, just machine. At least one of their creators cared enough to do better than Ayin ever fucking did, fostering curiosity and a desire to live in the little AI. Thing is, after Angela, AI became Very Illegal. There's no way their creators survived. L Corp New got them. Old AI Dante was, at their core, still an unfeeling machine that made decisions based purely on cold logic. New Dante is a person that is learning and growing, refusing to follow the colder path at times.
Is the clock part of them? Unsure. That can work either way.
But they're definitely becoming a person who doesn't want every encounter to end in bloodshed and death. Good for them. (this part is correct)
T27- Dante is not Ruina Dante. they didn't get booked. I think they'd throw hands on sight.
T28- Verg/Dante that's all glory to yxxiville
**T29- Dante navigator skills IM SO FUCKING HAPPY I WIN FOREVER MOM HOLY FUCK
T30- I missed one! Their eyes with a human head. This has a few that rotate. Red eyes, Gold eyes, Gold with the star, heterochromia with only one gold/star and red, pitch black (pre-d), or night sky/star. mix and match. who cares?
T31- I personally like the idea of Dante being a redhead (real red not ginger like ish) but realize it doesn't make much sense. Black hair works too, esp smoky, but they need more color. maybe fire streaks? if POC, maybe dreads?
T32- I am now also accepting heathcliff/dante post canto 5.1 he care so much.... actually just sinner polycule is valid. so is sinner family. both work. the only part I dont like is dante/faust. doesn't feel right. Charon excluded. that is our child. sinner x any other sinner. dante x anyone. including vergil. not charon.
T33- Forgot an old one where I figured Dante was a hacker that got into a Lot of trouble and being sinner #10 was meant to be a suicide mission.
T34- Dante being an ai part 2, having been planted in a body. maybe even a body they knew.
T35- [added to 25]
T36- Memory loss being fully intentional to kill their previous self and only carry over the necessary. A new start.
T37- Yknow how we never SAW Dante being an upper torso and arm in canto 3? Why? What is being hidden that's so important? robot parts? are you a robot? are you a -
T38- Dante being an artist of any kind. musician, poet, painter, etc. even post amnesia. give em a hobby
T39- Somewhere else I discussed forms that'd be fun for a Dante Distortion but i cant find it so ill reiterate: coffin spider, all around helper clock, useless fucking thing. all of which have gold chains suffocating them and it doesnt fight back. give it morphine
T40- this one's insane but dante's og self being the Player/self-insert. thats why they were "Me" and not "Dante" we're not them. but we also are.
T41- This ones a joke but og dantes name actually just being "Me". (but not pronounced that way) (alternatively it was a nickname)
T42- Dante being an interviewer or reporter- A big name one. No wonder they keep secrets like K corps singularity. They can release that publicly later... if they choose to.
T43- RECREATE CARMEN. DO IT PUSSY. That 5.5 Blade scene is Damning as all hell. That or the bough + the monolith had an Interaction.
T44- Dante's internal programming knows the City Lore but Dante isn't allowed to know. The fact so much of that scene was censored...
T45- Dante is Bongbong
T46- I haven't beaten Ruina so I don't know a lot about Constructs or Librarians but like. Maybe they were one of those.
T47- Dante is going to eventually explode (figuratively). Even they can only take so much abuse and bullshit. Self-esteem can only go so low.
T48- Dante being a disaster chimera of stuff. AI made of someone else's brain, in someone else's body, with other stuff installed, etc, etc, etc.
T49- The Star reminds me too much of Blue Star, talking about Sin and such. Maybe it's an abno relating to that. who knows.
T50- Dante is an ID and there's a mirror in their head keeping them active. I hope they do a Charon/Lapis and totally overwrite the og bc the og's an asshole.
T51- Dante's the first successful "new human"
T52- Dante IS fucked up but something in their head hides the fuckedupness from everyone else.
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Im sorry to get super serious but… I think I might have some kind of… thing in my mind.
During my internship there’s been more and more instances of me losing memory. Losing track of time, anything that I haven’t written on paper, doubting everything the second someone says “Is it?”. Even stuff I’ve dealt with my whole life, like every object slipping from my hands and me accidentally hitting something and hurting myself, all just got worse.
I’m also EXTREMELY prone to flinching and numping to ANY kind of sudden noise. A coworker said I almost act as if I was “protecting” myself everytime I jump from a noise, leading me to think I had hidden trauma in my brain or something.
I… almost never feel like there’s much of any time for anything I want to actually do.
I have to force myself to smile just to get less “You sound/ look cold/uncaring/uninterested” everytime I’m just trying to fucking concentrate on what’s being said because I KNOW how sometimes even a misunderstood word can change things. Yet I just DREAD eye contact and I have to force that on me too.
Whenever I talk openly about this it’s always “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “You’re being too dramatic.” “It’s just stress, it’s normal.” “You’re in a new environment, it’s okay.” Granted the latter two are as well intentioned as they are rare, but… it doesn’t feel okay. It doesn’t feel normal. It always, constantly feels like a long hall full of locked doors, and I DO have a walkie talkie with me to complain about the abundance of lockers… yet all I hear is that they’ve always been here and that there’s gonna be more, as if that’s relevant to my point.
I have super weirdly specific interests, nothing questionable just… very niche that I really DONT have many to discuss it with without sounding like a fixated fanatic
People are confusing. So… confusing. I dont laugh at the same things as them, I always try to be sensitive and look out for everyone Only to get weird looks, I have NO idea what it feels like to be proud of a country and/or incite your football team, just.. stuff I think goes a lil beyond my introverted self. When the chips are down, I’m probably just gonna burst in tears.
I WANT to talk with my mom about consulting a psychiatrist, but… for what? Me being “tired”? Adding her another thing to worry about, on too of her own problems and my mountain of health issues? I just.. dont feel like piling on.
I don’t know what any of this is concretely is. Autism, attention disorder, anxiety… Im definetly NOT looking into the internet for an accurate diagnosis, its just that, please… if you have any ideas on what I might have or tips on who to consult, I’m all ears. Again sorry if it got SO much more serious than usual, I just..
want to know how much control do I have.
#mental help#mental health#autism#anxiety#attention disorder#adhdh#short term memory#senses#trauma#psychiatrist#psychology#mood disorder#adhd#stress#internship#school#social anxiety#health problem#mental problems#introversion
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hi sorry this is outta nowhere but i would love to hear ur thoughts on harry (phone
SORRY ANON I LEGIT FORGOT ABT THIS ASK and im too lazy to draw her fr so heres some fanart i drew of her dying in a glue trap
this time i have a bit more thoughts on her as an actual character so ill start w that before the headcanon dump ... also, throughout this post ill be referring to her w she/her pronouns because of a personal headcanon im VERY attached to. all i ask is any rbs or further questions abt my specific vision of her use those same pronouns... in others posts i do not care obviously. also, this post is specifically abt her in the dsaf universe since shes far more substantial there.
firstly, i should say i ADORE harry. she is one of my biggest comfort characters in a series where almost everybody is one for me. so when i give any criticisms, know its out of love and a wish for some more expansive writing rather than any malice. being critical of media you love is important, etc etc.
my biggest issues with her character really boils down to the lack of acknowledgement abt her being physically disabled. she mentions having a "bad leg" during 3, but its ONLY mentioned that one time, during (i believe) missable dialogue. i understand her not using, like, mobility aids for it since it may be difficult to find suitable stock images (+ all the phonies in that game use the same photos for their bodies, and its totally possible its not something she feels she needs), but it probably shouldve been mentioned or expanded upon more.
i dont believe were given any explanation on how her leg ended up the way it is, or in what way it is. we dont know if she was born with her disability or aquired it later. we dont know if its paralyzed, we dont know if its because of a muscular dystrophy, or anything else. i just wish we were given more info, bcus as it is, it is REALLY easy to look over in favor of, say, her ptsd.
speaking of which, i have some mixed feelings on how her ptsd is portrayed. on one hand, the joke in the restaurant reviews abt her having flashbacks and a subsequent panic attack feels very distasteful, though thankfully this is (i believe) the only instance of this kind of joke at her expense. im glad elsewise it isnt some huge , controlling part of her character - however, again, it IS missable. while one can assume she has it when she discusses her past, i dont believe its explicitly stated UNTIL that review.
tldr; her disability feels poorly handled, mostly from lack of expansion and discussion.
thankfully, though, she is elsewise a very enjoyable character; shes got some really good and funny dialogue, the exposition we get from her about the original managers is really fucking good, and i really wish we heard more abt her experience working with rebecca (and presumably roger)... again, her biggest issues are just not having as much of a spotlight on her as she couldve, but considering the employees arent really the main focus of the game that may be fine actually...
(as an aside, i think about this post every day and cry audibly.)
thus ends the longform musings, onto the silly headcanons;
standard fare queer headcanon dump: trans woman + demisexual lesbian. also, polyamorous. fuck yeah baby steak (ref)
was in a queerplatonic relationship with joe while he was alive, and a romantic one with both tango/terrence (who has some gender fuckery going on as well) and rebecca because i am not immune to homemade lesbianism.
has ptsd in canon, but im adding a "c" in front of that cause aint no way she lived through all of her coworkers (and presumably FRIENDS) dying in such horrific ways and was only affected in the short-term.
autistic! specifically also has the thing i do where i need the time to be a multiple of 5 before i can start doing anything. also has generalized anxiety i think, with a tendency to catastrophize and compensates by insisting to herself everything is toootally fine. definitely NOT going to have a breakdown rn because shes not totally sure that that vending machine is 100% not going to fall on her specifically
probably didnt have many friends as a kid (L) so now she overcompensates by trying to be as charming and polite as possible. wether or not this works in her favor or makes her seem pretentious is a coinflip. (its certainly working on me though!)
has a real soft spot for random niche animals. probably a big salamander and gecko girl. her favorite is the marbled salamander because its cute as hell
slightly off topic everyday i think of how fucking horrific it mustve been for joe to come into work one morning and his best friend just has a phone for a head and extreme memory issues now . literally what the fuck. thats so fucked up
to do a tonal 180... if she was a pokemon trainer shed have a herdier or stoutland as a sort of service dog for walking shorter-medium distances when she rlly doesnt feel like whipping out the cane :.-)
shes so pale its actually ridiculous. bro looks like she hasnt seen the sun in 5 years ... jake pokes a bit of fun for it sometimes
thanks for asking, anon! i love getting excuses to talk about dsaf. i have a lot of thoughts, you know... dont ever friend me on discord my ass will randomly drop either the goofiest or angstiest headcanons at random intervals and i have no real control over whichor when it will be
#maintagging again fuck it. whatre you gonna do? block me? idc#dsaf#harry fitzgerald#harry#cc tag#anon#hymn.ask#long post
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I want to hear about castor acklys
HI BEST FRIENDS I LOVE U BEST FRIENDS <33
castor is my oc who was invented when one time i was listening to preachers daughter and decided i wanted to make a plot that had an album style set up (i am not involved in music and do not make music), the main character dying & a complex sibling dynamic! it started off by outlining 2 albums which are the canon timeline (Saviour's Secret & Brother Of The Sky (Extended)) and then added 2 more for a lighter alternate ending (Husband & Keeper's Lover) but then there was a 3rd alternate ending created (Something Like God) and a final conclusion to castor's story in an album created at the same time as SLG (Gravesite)
it is supposed to have the vibes of southern gothic but its not southern! this all actually happening in britain! but still. GOTHIC, its dark, it has unpleasant themes
HERE ARE SOME WARNINGS BEFORE GOING FORWARD: THIS CONTAINS BRIER DISCUSSION OF KIDNAPPING, DEATH/MURDER, CULTS AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE
the album order is SS (aka C1), BOTS(E), H (aka C3), KL, Gravesite, then SLG and the album titles are all reflective or Castor's "identity"/viewing himself through the connections he has with other people, its not until Castor is dead that he defines himself by anything other than his connection to someone else (or he joins a cult and believes he is Something like God bc thats how cults can be sometimes)
as shown below there is one timeline that doesnt have an album ! there is an album i dont have written (and honestly dont intend to write atm) about castors life if he ran away AND found The Star again
these are also all of the tracks for the first 4 albums (im on mobile so i dont have the other 2 album tracklist available rn until i go home tomorrow night)
i can and will go into each song but probably not in this post bc it is 10+ tracks on 4 albums which will be a lot of me talking but heres what you should know !
NAMES:
i took a long time deciding character names so i will be explaining them (hyperlinked w the characters tag)
Castor Acklys is a star name (which i very much wanted for symbolic connections to other characters specifically The Star & Nova) + Acklys (from Achlys) is the blindness over someones eyes when they die + (from Achley) being the mythological personification of sorrow
The Star does have a name but that information is on lockdown you arent supposed to know their name and i personally do not even know their gender , but there is symbolism in BOTS(E) abt Castor seeing "The Stars" when he dies, he however dies at 2pm so there are no stars in the sky, he is hallucinating both the night sky and his sibling being present
Charles Mercy Charles is shortened to Chuck then Chuckle (as in laugh) and Mercy bc he is supposed to be the saviour (bonus tag Mercklys)
Abram is from Abam which is a feminine name meaning the second in a pair of twins and also i did just read AFTG when i started working on this project so i may have been influenced there (bonus tag CAbram)
Nova is an astrological name + means New (bonus tag CastorNova)
Dalilah Fare comes from Dalil which means guide but also means witness and Fare to represent the fare paid to ride into the underworld
Victor E. Casement bc Victor means conqueror and Casement means God's protector (bonus tag Victonna)
Donna Casement is supposed to be overwhelmingly normal and Donna was a very popular name for i think the 1960s when she would have been born, Casement is her married name and smth she carries from Victor
Irma means whole/complete
Winifred means holy/blessed reconciliations and is the patron saint of virgins
Calamity bc when i googled it, it said that "despite meaning disaster most people take Calamity from Calamity Jane meaning someome good to have in troubled times (idk if i have a calamity tag)
Alice was similar to Donna where its just a popular name from the time she would have been born
Simon just felt like a 1934 name
Angie , same as above
Kory genuinely bc I liked the name and it suited how i picture her in my head
THE TIMELINES:
the acklysverse is split into 3 timelines
1934
Dalilah Fare runs away to marry her lover Simon, she is sadly kidnapped and killed. This leaves behind her lover Simon and her younger sister Angie, who get married! (dw, Dalilah is very happy for them!)
1984: 50 years later,
Castor is the younger sibling after his sibling (The Star) runs away and is presumed dead. C1 & BOTS(E) (canon timeline) are following Castor's life before and leading up to The Star leaving, including Castor falling in love with Charles Mercy (the leading romance in C1!), Charles is very sweet and charming but has a bit of a saviour complex. He believes everything will always be okay because, for him, it always has been, and Castor's life issues (abusive family, flight risk sibling, confusing sexuality crisis, etc, etc.) will eventually just stop, he genuinely believes he can save Castor but the thing is he cant. Castor knows this and wants to cut his losses early but feels torn abt hurting Charles since Charles has not yet come to terms with not being able to help Castor. C1 ends with their break up after Castor has known for a while that it is not going to work out and Charles finally realises the same.
This is the first album bc its the first time Castor uses the song/album set up to explore his emotions on the situation. So BOTS(E) reflects on Castor's life as whole. I like to call it The Life and Death of Castor Acklys. This explores Castor realising his home life is unhealthy and then he loses The Star bc they run away which causes even more fall out. Living in an abusive household he decides he can not stay in and realising this is probably what drove The Star to leave, so he also runs away less than a year later and is also sadly, kidnapped from a bus stop and killed. The Extended of this album is one of my favourite ways the albums communicate anything bc BOTS is Castor's life and (E) is Castor's death, all extended tracks are post mortem.
Skipping forward a few albums bc the others are Alt84 (see below) we get to Gravesite ! This is the return of Dalilah <3 and the reveal that Dalilah's ghost has been here the whole time. Dalilah's death is cosmicly interconnected to Castor's (more on this later) and she has been watching his life happen since Castor was 13 when the events began that would lead to his death began being set into play by the universe. Gravesite is Castor's death and welcoming to the afterlife from Dalilah's perspective of trying to stop this all from happening! We also learn that Dalilah's death is almost a perfect mirror of Castor's, in the same location, by the same cause of death, same last words, same final regrets. They are soulmates in the most intimate but tragic sense.
Alternate 1984
Alt 1: C3 + KL,
Alternately, Castor never runs away. In a different time in a different life, Castor stays and gets married before he's 20 to Abram. Abram is amazing and perfect and Castor is deeply unhappy bc he doesn't want Abram as a husband but marrying him got Castor away from his home and into a life that was 100% his own. Abram loves Castor deeply and romantically and without any strings attached and Castor cant understand why he cant just love Abram back when all he wants is a friend (and maybe a little bit still trying to fill in the hole The Star left when they left) but will take Abram as a lover to avoid losing yet another person he loves. During their marriage, Castor meets Nova <3 a shopkeeper he begins to fall for and have an affair with. C3 ends with Castor and Abram's divorce and Castor trying to process a lot of things he has to deal with. KL then explores Castor's first 100% healthy and reciprocated relationship and unpacking and reevaluating everything he has come to know bc he lacked those healthy relationships !
ALT 2: SLG
Instead of being killed, Castor still runs away but chooses to walk to a different more active bus stop hoping it will delay his family who may look for him from actually knowing where he went. At this bus stop he meets Victor E. Casement, a current cult leader but ex professor. He slowly warms to Victor over a few weeks and ends up diving head first into said cult, where we see the inner workings of this cult through Castor's eyes as he becomes friends with Donna, Victor's wife.
2004
You may be thinking "hey if everyones dead and 2004 follows canon how could there be anything to happen next? is this another alternative?" well! 2004 does follow canon! in a morbid way! 2004 follows canon in terms of the fact that Castor was only the main character of his timeline!
THERES A BACKGROUND PLOT WITH THE MURDERERS!
The man who killed Dalilah is in fact the great uncle (grandmothers brother) of the man who killed Castor! This information about a family history of murder was not passed along but was found in Dalilah's killers old jounrals and then replicated by Castor's killer. The time jump is much smaller now bc that information has been passed on directly, Castor's killer talks to his child about his crimes and it is replicated in 2004 with the next in line, Kory. Kory is also cosmicly interconnected to Dalilah and Castor who are doomed to repeat the cycle of trying and failing to save the next victim. And its almost identical again, another soulmate !
SIDE CHARACTERS:
Irma : Castor's best friend who dies shortly after The Star leaves, the cause of death is never specified but her absense is smth he feels strongly about
Winifred : Castor's mother *was maternal grandmother for a while but that was altered as the plot developed
Alice : A cult member and Victor's friend since before they were a cult
Angie Fare : Dalilah's sister and Nova's grandmother
Simon : Dalilah's ex lover & brother in law, and Nova's grandfather
Calamity : Castor's maternal cousin
#asks#castor acklys#anon#long post#sorry this took so long after begging to be asked abt it i am in london this week and have plans that are very based on the moment#kidnapping tw#death tw#cults tw#abuse mention
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ugh
despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!
im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.
you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit
note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.
inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.
for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.
here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.
having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap
after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.
it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.
anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.
maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account
the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.
1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.
2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.
3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.
all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.
i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously
i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.
in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face
ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one
if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.
over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.
somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.
anyway lol, lmao
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- something along the lines of...
- synopsis: hongjoong had always been adamant in resisting his friend, park seonghwa, from partaking and going even further in his experimentations. as if life for seonghwa wasn’t a whole land of purgatory, will his inner demons bring out the best or the worst in him one fearful night?
- seonghwa x hongjoong
- tw: blood, hallucinations, cursing, mentions of operational procedures
- horror, thriller, muderous muderous friends
- word count: 1.4k
- a/n: so yes i am back after nth months of indefinite ghosting and completely forgetting this account even existed due to my lack of commitment with my hobbies but ANYWAYS, that is another discussion for another day. i can't even describe to begin how much i had been itching to write something before the year ended but here we are with a seongjoong horror themed one, perfect for the spoopy month! now, im not gonna promise anything in terms of uploading regularly (although i dont think many of you could give two fucks) but i will still be posting stuff seldomly if writers block will not become my enemy for the months to come. though i feel like i can kinda be back in my writing element, time is the biggest constraint for me in pumping out ideas and fics hence why i have been ia and unmotivated to post... until today (which is kinda odd ngl but ik it wont last forever). enough of the jibber-jabber, please enjoy my unplanned october special featuring our very lovely seongjoong :) see u all soonest!
*all credits goes to the images used
*the views, themes and dialogue does not reflect the belief and/or influence of the artists mentioned below and of the writer.
*please DO NOT repost on other sites unless you have given credits to the original writer.
“Has the patient been experiencing any side-effects?” A faint and shallow voice echoes throughout the clean, white halls. “No sir, amazing to see how our test subject can withstand even the highest of frequencies.”
The nurse pleasingly announced. “It’s only a matter of time until we can actually start Project Siren on him to fully seal the deal with Ember Corp.” She enthusiastically added, with the squeaky wheels from the mobile hospital bed loudly agreeing. “Aren’t we too ahead of ourselves, dear?” Doctor Kim paused as he leaned over towards the nurse’s eye level and kept a steady but threatful glare. As she was trembling in fear, Doctor Kim leaned back and put his hand delicately on her shoulder. Composing her while asking her subtly to leave. “You are most certainly right Doctor, apologies for my immature behavior”. As she bows her head and Doctor Kim copying it, the nurse heads off the north wing of the facility-- leaving Doctor Kim and the occupied hospital bed all alone.
“Well, Mr. Park. Shall I roll you right back into your room?” Hongjoong pitched but no one was of answer, he heaved a heavy sigh and took course heading towards his main office with his patient.
A muffled voice and multiple blinding haze of lights had woken up Seonghwa’s senses as he gradually got back into his conscious state. But before he could even theorize on his own about where he was, Hongjoong was sitting across him in his leather office chair; watching Seonghwa slowly recoup and get to his bearings.
"Hongjoong? Wh-whe... Where are we?"
"Its DOCTOR Hongjoong mind you, and we are in my office; perfectly designed by yours truly."
Seonghwa shakes off the weariness in his head, clearly in distraught after 5 anxious hours of being knocked out. Hongjoong stands up from his chair and makes his way towards the side of Seonghwa's bed; keeping a safe distance to avoid any complications and sudden raptures that Seonghwa may present.
"Are you feeling better?" Hongjoong asks calmly. "I've experienced worse." Seonghwa replies with shallow breaths.
"You don't have to keep doing this Seonghwa. I told you, I'm more than willing to help you get back on your feet."
"Over my dead body would I treat you like an ATM."
Seonghwa's resistant tone and jaw clenching was enough for Hongjoong to entirely change the subject; even if he would like to prolong the conversation and plead for him to stop going through these sessions, both of them would just end up with cursing each other out-- something Hongjoong never attests to.
"So what happens now? Do I get to finally leave the facility?"
Hongjoong was adamant to let a word out of his mouth, he already had known that Seonghwa would not be able to leave this place immediately; not in due time at least. Seonghwa notices the sudden gloom in the eyes of the doctor, “Uh-oh, this isn’t good”.
He finally takes the courage to speak. "I'm afraid not in the near future, the company is still ordering for a few more trial runs before I can let you go." Seonghwa suddenly lifts his head up, eyebrows knitted and rapid impulses of rage race through the chambers of his mind.
"You're fucking with me." Never had he been more infuriated at the way things were going. All of his life was he berated of things he wasn’t coming into terms with, he had already accepted his faith being the unlucky duckling in his family. He accepted defeat and disownment like no other prideful being could ever do. But this? This was more than just cursing out, this was betrayal-- this was unacceptable in his books. He was promised 15 sessions only, a shit ton of money; he was promised to be out of this hell hole immediately.
"I thought we were already done with the 15 sessions?" A chilling growl rumbles down deep into Seonghwa’s chest, he was seeing red like a crimson tide crashing into his hindsight. Hongjoong couldn’t bear the sight of his friend all wired up and weary, but as much as he persuaded for him to stop Seonghwa from doing this all arguments would lead to nothing.
"I thought so too." Hongjoong replied as he crossed his arms, firming his stance in case Seonghwa would ever come at him. Carefully he stands closer to him, but he clearly wasn’t having none of Hongjoong’s gentle sympathy. "I'm sorry Seonghwa, these are orders from the board. You haven't been showing any signs of improvement-- you know how resilient and ugly these people can be when things don't go accordingly as planned." All could Seonghwa do was scowl at the sight of Hongjoong, he clearly had no energy within him to even throw the nearby glass of water on his bedside neither scream at the top of his lungs.
Silence filled the eerie void of Hongjoong’s office, no one was in their element to start a ruckus-- not even Seonghwa who could barely move an inch. After what felt like hours standing in the middle of nowhere, a sharp ringing blasts the entire room and perks up Hongjoong’s ear. With a hand gesture signaling Seonghwa to give him a few minutes, he leaves the chilly room, leaving Seonghwa all by himself.
In a fit of rage inside his head, a multitude of curses flew out of his mouth while clenching the white sheets delicately placed on top of him. As he continues to verbally bring out his anger, a throbbing and excruciating pain hovering all over his head brings out the worst in Seonghwa. He couldn’t get up by himself, Hongjoong wasn’t anywhere near him, all he could do was cry and curl up in a ball until the pain would miraculously disappear. Until visions of blood, slaughter and the whispering winds of the distress embraces him, Seonghwa ultimately stops from his cry of pain. The whimpers paused, everything felt so dense around him and his conscience was nowhere to be found. Seonghwa feels a moist, seeping spot on his blanket. As he reaches for the tissue box near him, his mouth opens agape to the sight being reflected at the monitor in front of him.
Why was he crying blood?
#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#seongjoong#ateez#ateez fic#ateez horror#ateez thriller#seonghwa#hongjoong#hongjoong doctor#seonghwa patient
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S: "So, this 'narrative', that's your domain? Not time, not space, not even anything physical or real, but a 'narrative'? Like a story?"
F: "pretty much, yeah"
S: "No. That's not a thing, that's physically impossible, realities aren't stories, they aren't fiction, they don't have some author presiding over everything dictating every move."
F: "yup, that's more or less right, Narratives not Authors"
S: "What? So there's a narrative-"
F: "Narrative"
S: "That's what I said, narra-"
F: "you didnt capitalize it, come on, this is the fundamental nature of things you gotta put some *respect* on it"
S: "That makes zero sense, and why do you of all people care?"
F: "personally I don't give a flying fuck, but this is an important discussion so it helps to be right"
S: "Sure. So there's a NARRATIVE, is that better?"
F: "that's all caps, tone it back to just the start"
S: "Narrative."
F: "yeah, there we go, nice"
S: "This is literally just emphasizing certain parts of the word."
F: "yes, but actually no"
S: "Again, zero sense, but moving on. So Narrative, but not author?"
F: "Author should also, technically, be capitalized here"
S: "Technically? Unlike Narrative which doesn't carry that footnote?"
F: "mmhmm, you'll see why later. anyways yeah, Narrative*s*, no Authors, or at least Authors as you would think of them. no god somewhere holding a pen who's scribbles make up everything we know, nothing stupid like that"
S: "Then what, *exactly*, is a Narrative?"
F: "think of your average, good, story, and how each character in it is tied to some rules, by their personality, by their role, by their fate (if applicable). characters don't go randomly breaking out of their established personality and role"
S: "So people are completly bound by this? They have no free will, simply puppets of their role?"
F: "nope! the Narrative pretty much just provides a start, a few critical mid, and end points, how you get between these it doesn't care all that much so long as you follow your, general, role, can't have the bard dealing every (literal) kill now can we?"
S: "You're describing something most people would just call fate."
F: "fate is fully predetermined, unlike this which can branch depending on how some people act"
S: "What? How does that work?"
F: "it just does man, it just does"
S: "Fine, say I do accept the idea that this thing exists and isn't just fate dressed in other clothing, how is it your domain? By the sounds of it this is effectivly a series of semi-predetermined events, what is there to see, manipulate, or protect about this?"
F: "the points aren't fixed, points that have been setup can be removed, new ones can be added, it's possible to create a completly different spaghetti mess than the one you entered with"
S: "Congratulations on making less than zero sense, quite the feat all things considered."
F: "yeah I thought you might say something like that, theres no Author but there are a few other roles that are can greatly alter the Narrative, such as The Narrator"
S: "..."
F: "dont look at me like that im telling the truth. anyways The Narrator is, well, pretty much how narrators work in normal stories, they set the scene, they describe things as needed, they list *how* characters think and speak. someone acting as The Narrator can easily override the existing Narrative by casually leaving things out of a scene, forcing characters to say their internal thoughts outloud, think swapping a 'he thought' for a 'he yelled', and general shit like that"
S: "So they control the 'characters' and 'scenes', like an Author would."
F: "nope, they only control how the scenes are presented and how actions are described, characters still act on their own according to themselves, and the locations are still the same, even if The Narrator leaves an object out of the scene description a character could go pick it up if its in the location"
S: "So, The Narrator, can describe a scene, which then influences actions of characters, but doesn't control them?"
F: "ye"
S: "What the hell."
F: "yeah its like that at first"
S: "A Narrative, with preset points, that can be branched by characters, or overwritten by Author-like roles, filled with characters who have free will but are heavily influenced by the Narrative and its scenes?"
F: "actually even characters without Narrative altering roles can sometimes overwrite the points"
S: "None of this makes any sense."
F: "yeah, honestly, not really, you just have to accept it and work with it"
F: "anyways, there's another important detail, Narrative Weight. certain characters, actions, places, so on have more Narrative Weight than others. the higher something's Narrative Weight, the more of an impact on the Narrative it has. think of the protagonist in a story, their actions, thoughts, reasons are the main driving force behind the story, as such they have the highest Narrative Weight for that story"
S: "No."
F: "yeah, all characters have Narrative Weight, they wouldnt be able to exist otherwise, but most have an irrelevant weight in comparison"
S: "Fine. Whatever, Narratives, Characters, Weights, Scenes, Narrators, Authors, say I accept this as how your reality functions, what's *your* relation to it?"
F: "my weight is undefined"
S: "I'm this close to getting James to rewind things so this entire debacle never occured."
F: "its true, my narrative weight doesnt have a fixed, or even bounded, value. its fucking bouncy, it goes from near irrelevant, to near total control, to actually negative, that shit hurts. its actually somewhat possible to control, which allows me to see the general structure of the Narrative and poke at its edges pretty often"
S: "Undefined Narrative Weight. Sure, fine, whatever, ok."
F: "yeah thats pretty much it, i have a little NULL value where there should be something and it managed to cause the Narrative im part of to completly unravel, be rebuilt, unravel again, be rebuilt, and so on about 16 and a half times now. you should have seen the last brawl for the Narrator role, it got messy"
#fingors speaks#writing#can you tell i was adding to this and working it out as I went?#cause i sure can#honestly this is not really how i wanted them to turn out#as a rough first idea draft its not awful#but i need to rework a lot of the ideas
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Ask Answers: August 8th
Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.
But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.
Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?
I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.
Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice?
You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.
hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other.
It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.
Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)
Both type of options will be available!
Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D
It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.
Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC?
If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.
Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round?
She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.
Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment?
Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.
Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?
It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.
Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+
ps i love your games so much <3
It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!
Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u
You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.
Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him
Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.
Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4?
They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.
I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though-
Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.
How does Cove feel about poly relationships?
He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.
Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove?
Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.
In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends?
Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.
I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love.
It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.
Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :]
Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.
It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!
Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.
hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end...
Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.
wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck
You can check out the FAQ linked above!
does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him?
Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.
Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?
No, they just don’t have enough time together.
We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.
Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?
No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.
I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀
Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.
So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name
It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.
will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!!
Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.
I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game?
I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.
I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance?
Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.
Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games!
The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.
Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3
There is a set timeline!
Step 1: 2006
Step 2: 2011
Step 3: 2016
Step 4: 2021
And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.
i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it!
Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.
Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game?
We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.
how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running?
Hopefully for at least a few more years.
Are you considering ever making merch?
Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.
hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS?
I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!
Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower.
That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.
Hi, how are you?!
Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??
Thanks!!
Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!
perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥)
He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.
i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1
I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.
In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing)
Yep, you will be able to talk about that!
Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!
If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.
Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.
That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.
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corpse husband x fem!reader
summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you
warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing
word count: 1.9k
notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)
main blog @itsmysleepover
read part 2 here!
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.
“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.
On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.
“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.
“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”
Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.
“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.
“I told you guys I was ruthless!”
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.
C: hey :)
You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?
Y: Hii! This is sudden
C: was i bothering you?
shit sorry!
Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn
C: how has your day been
i dont usually do stuff like this
Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored
C: what were you doing that was so terrible
Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(
C: im sure youll find something to do
You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.
Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo
C: what?
NO!
You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.
Y: [image] it came out nice!
C: thats super cool actually
i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented
Y: Thank you!
For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.
Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch
[link]
C: ill be watching ;)
What’s that supposed to mean?
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.
C: wanna talk?
You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.
Y: Yeah id love to talk
Here goes nothing.
Y: Wanna facetime or something?
No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call
I think facetime is just my default lol
You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.
Still no message.
Why am I so fucking stupid?
Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.
C: sure lets facetime
xxx-xxx-xxxx
You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.
“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.
“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.
“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.
“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”
“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”
“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”
“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”
“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”
“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”
“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”
“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.
“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”
He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”
You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).
“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”
#corpse husband#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband imagine#corpse husband imagines#corpse husband x y/n#youtubers#caffeinated ramblings
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My take on the Jack Manifold being killed by Tommy discussions
This is written so someone who isnt caught up can understand, so lets start at the beginning, Jack Manifolds ad Tommys relationship. Irl Jack and Tommy are very close, but I don’t think they had a strong established relationship in character before exile, especially because Jack was mia for a lot of lore? Many relationships on the smp get taken from the ccs dynamics before the smp (wilbur and tommys mentor/brotherhood, puffychus date), which is why they have been interpreted as close? Jack was part of lmanburg and they have interacted for sure, so I think its fair to say they were friends in roleplay, even if not like,, best friends
during exile, jack visited Tommy- well, tried to visit. Tommy punched him off the bridge in the nether and made sure he died. Jack lost all his stuff and was pissed offed - but that was about it.
The tone of the visit could maybe be compared to the one with Mamacita and Mexican Dream? It was in character, but it wasn’t... serious?
It feels wrong to call it “friendly banter” when mexican dream died, but you cant call it a “Building Character Moment For TommyInnit” either. Jacks visit was similar.
At that point, neither Jack nor Tommy refered to the death as “canon” - the wiki did, however. Not sure what happend there, but it was listed as Jacks second death and when he died on Doomsday, went to hell and back - that part of lore doesn’t work without Tommy killing him.
After Jack came back from hell, he started a bigger character arc with Niki revolving around taking revenge on tommyinnit. Killing him until he is dead permanently. And while that is not presented as the right thing to do - both niki and jack consider their characters villains - its not irrational or without motive.
Tommy has made mistakes and hurt people - whether these were justified is in the eye of the beholder.
For Jacks arc right now, Tommy killing him is an important motivator and a driving point for his plot. Nothing about Jacks current character would be the same without it. Because he acknowledged the death and it was on the wiki for the longest time, its generally considered canon by the fandom.
So, case closed? Tommy killed a man while depressed in exile- yeah, that doesn’t sound right.
A Tommyinnit analysist pointed that out,, earlier today? Thats why we are having this discussion right now. I’m not sure they would appreciate me mentioning their username here, but ive read their analyses before and theyre great, they have a lot of interesting thoughts, and i agree with them bringing this up!! please never send hate to anyone about character analysis!! some people (like me) actually do this for fun.
so, i dont want to touch exileinnit to much, there is a lot to talk about, but... TommyInnit would kill somebody without a second thought. Canon deaths are heavy, theyre big, theyre- and you cannot compare this to punz killing wilbur! Yeah, that wasnt a big character moment for punz, but on one hand hes a mercenary, killing people is kind of part of his job, and on the other hand- the story around lmanburg is not a character focused one, thats a big part of wilburs writing. His main goal is progressing the geopolitical plot and let the character be shaped by it - themes like personal conflict seem less big when there is the fate of a country on your hands.
The exile arc is an entirely character focused story. It deals with themes like mental illness and inner turmoil... do you think it would pass the chance on discussing tommys feelings about killing someone? A past friend, no less?
Murdering someone, on purpose, completly changes the morality of tommys character, and im not ready to commit to that.
There are more reasons I think this, ask me to elaborate if you want, but in my eyes there is no way that Tommy could kill someone in exile with it still being consistent with his character.
So, whats the conclusion?:
TommyInnit killing Jack Manifold is canon in Jacks story, but isn’t canon in Tommys. There is no other way eithers devolopment makes sense otherwise.
This is it. An inconsistency. A plain old plothole.
Oh no, the cinematic masterpiece (/s) that is the dream smp has a plothole, what do we do now?:
...move on? There is no way discussing this will change anything. This type of inconsistency is unique to the dream smp as a medium where the creators have a direct dialogue with the fanbase. This is not the first or last time the wiki has made weird deaths canon, I personally disagree that quackity and schlatt died in the explosion of tubbos execution. This doesnt do against the wiki writers or anything, you guys are so important for this community, but you do stand in direct contact with the creators - an active fan would have probably more, but more importantly different, knowledge of the lore than 90% of the members.
Dont be harsh on the fans, dont be harsh on the ccs, we are exploring a new type of mass reaching story telling here guys.
how do we still make this consistent for the storyline?:
this is where the analysis ends, we are diving more into headcanon territory, but I choose to believe that this was a canon death, but tommy didnt realize it is. In my opinion this just feeds into Jacks themes of being ignored, not taken seriously, etc.
tldr: while tommy killing jack was considered canon for a long time, it doesnt work if you want to have tommys character make sense. Instances like this, where dubious canon gets reinterpreted later happen because of the dream smps unique type of storytelling and should not be a reason for conflict in the fandom.
Thanks for reading, if any of this doesnt make sense after tommys last stream, that I didnt watch because writing this, youre allowed to personally come into my house and assassinate me.
#this is a 1000 words long... i wrote this on a whim... I havent done homework in months... why am I like this??#discourse#negative#depression mention#dream smp#dsmp#dream smp analysis#tommyinnit#jack manifold#long post#critical#dream smp meta
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vexos hcs and random notes
ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned...
General
I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other
I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk
Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron
None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that
Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)
My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment
Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra)
Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)
the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on
Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus
Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government
sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now
Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin
[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy
think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up
throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos
Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other
Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”
this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts
mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her
probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways)
probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing
didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask
please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then
daddy issues is truly the root of evil
Gus Grav
Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life
[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.
Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler
I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that)
The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good
Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt
not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint)
Shadow Prove
[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman
has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)
inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan
the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.
Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much
Considered running away from home several times
Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music
hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested
*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3*
You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:
did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?
joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?
has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester
incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there
Mylene Ferrow
While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet...
[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought]
I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”
Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”
Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual
whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here
terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted
Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)
Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool
Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from
She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him
I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics
Lync Volan
[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...?
was part of the same area Volt is from
probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other
you sound like you have mommy issues
came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left
ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn
Volt Luster
[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there
He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)
has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls
lot more artistic than he seems
Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron
Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes?
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Hi! Can I ask for angsty Specer Reid with reader working as a medic? They dont see each other lately, mostly because his gf avoiding him, because they are both stressed of work so every discussion end with fight so in the end reader is insecure of herself and not sure if she is good enough for him. She starts overwork herself more to improve her skills and satisfaction,forgetting about proper sleep and meals. And during their next fight she just pass out in front of him making him extremaly 1/2
“2/2 extremaly guilty and frustrated because being occupied by his own work and life he doesnt even notice struggles of someone who he dearly love and care for. Sorry for such long and detailed request! I hope it doesnt bother you! Thank you so much nad have a great day!”
Busy Schedules - Spencer Reid
masterlist ; request are open
author’s note: hi omg this request came really easy! i really hope this lived up to your expectations @ anon <3 and i hope you all enjoy it! im already working on another request so yay ❤️ i had said 3 fics this summer and this is my fourth one <3 cute!
disclaimer: a bit angsty!! and also talking about like reader not taking care of themselves all that great, like forgetting to eat && reader passes out so if that’s something that upsets you, please do not read it!! GIF NOT MINE
pairing: spencer reid x reader
wordcount: 1,976
You weren’t sure how long it had been since you had last seen your boyfriend, but before the argument that had transpired a few hours ago, you knew that it had been several days since the two of you last spoke. Both of your work schedules took up a large portion of your life and during the beginning of knowing Spencer that was a huge wedge in the two of you actually starting a relationship. But you two later on found out that it didn’t matter how long it took for you two to have time together, because when you did it was like magnets linking together. There was a domestic routine to your very busy lives when you were alone, like adding the final puzzle piece, everything just clicked.
Or it had been, the last few months having a decrease in employees and you having to pick up extra shifts at the hospital, had left you next to no time for yourself. And the time you did have off, Spencer was always away on a case. The last couple of times you were irritable from work, and just missing your boyfriend and it ended with the two of you arguing, it never failed.
You’d end up crying from frustration and exhaustion and Spencer would find himself nursing a bottle of beer with Morgan. Something he never did before, and it was quickly becoming a bit of a habit for him.
Your head was pounding as you woke up, it was eleven pm and your throat felt insanely dry. You looked for a cup of water, but of course there was none. You were never good at looking after yourself. Spencer always told you that and you felt tears well up in your eyes, you missed him so much. The crying mixed with the headache worsened everything you were feeling and you began to feel dizzy. If you were being honest you couldn’t remember the last time you had a proper meal, you had been surviving off granola bars and black coffee. That with working nearly 100 hours a week, it was definitely starting to take a toll on you.
You sat up and realized what had woken you up, there was knocking on your main door. You trudged slowly to your front door, still feeling dizzy as you tried to focus on the figure through the peephole. Even with your vision being blurry you could tell it was Spencer.
You quickly opened the door, which you shouldn’t have feeling the way you were. You felt all your blood rush down and felt a cold shiver run down you. You really needed to get something solid into your system. But with Spencer’s demeanor you could tell you wouldn’t be eating anything for some time, he was tense, eyes burning and you wanted to scream at him. It wasn’t even your fault the two of you were angry.
But you couldn’t even bring yourself to do it, you were so exhausted. You let him in and he brushed past you, pacing through your living room. “Spencer I’m really tired, can we just do this tomorrow? I don’t feel good.”
You knew he didn’t even hear you, he was in his head and from the smell of beer on him you could tell he had been drinking. He wasn’t drunk, but you knew he was a lightweight, so anything he drank would have him more there than here.
You walked towards him, mainly to get him to stop because his pacing was making you feel that the room you were in was spinning. But he moved from you just before you reached him and it caused you to stumble forward, barely catching yourself against the rest of the couch. You had to close your eyes to try and stabilize yourself. “Can you stop trying to push me away?”
“Well you do it, why can’t I?”
He was being childish, you both knew it. “Spencer I’m not doing that, if you feel that way trust me when I say it’s not intentional.”
You muttered something under your breath, you probably shouldn’t have but it slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself. “That’s not fair! I deserve days off with my friends as well!”
“I never said you didn’t, Reid.”
He knew you were angry, you only ever used his last name when you were, but he was angry too and he was glaring at you. “Well then it’s not fair for you to say that I decided to hang out with my friend over you.”
“Did you not? I think it’s been over a month since we’ve seen each other, you see them everyday and we both finally had a night off together and you decided to go out with them, people you see everyday! I feel like I’m not even part of your life anymore.”
Your breathing was labored and rough, you could feel yourself coming in and out of consciousness and could barely focus on the words leaving Spencer’s mouth before everything went black.
~
Spencer himself did not register what was leaving his mouth as he saw your body going limp, any bit of anger or alcohol leaving his system that very second. He instinctively caught you before your head hit the floor and he was frantically calling out your name. He hated how pale your skin went and how your lips weren’t as red as they normally were. You looked frail and he laid your head on the floor to go look for a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol, when he was looking around your apartment he noticed that the only dirty dishes in your dishwasher were coffee cups and there were scattered granola bar wrappers and nothing else. He sighed through his nose as he realized that’s all you’ve been eating. Much like him, people always said he never took care of himself but he was so good at taking care of you. And he knew you weren’t. He was frustrated at the thought of you two arguing during the little time you had for each other so he decided to go out with Derek and Emily instead. But he quickly realized he shouldn’t have, he really hadn’t seen you in a month, two days, thirteen hours and 54 minutes. And that turned into an argument. He wanted to slip into your apartment while you were asleep, lay down with you and cook you breakfast and have the two of you slip back into your routine. He knew all the frustration and anger was from not seeing each other and now you were passed out on your living room floor and he felt so guilty.
Guilty for not going over after a case, when he really could’ve, guilty for not checking in more. He was your boyfriend and he could’ve been doing more. You were still laying on the floor and he lifted your head onto his lap, brushing the alcohol filled cotton ball under your nose and letting a watery laugh leave his chest as he saw the color come back to you. He was so relieved he was able to wake you up, and since you didn’t hit your head he knew you didn’t need more medical attention. Plus he knew you’d hate it. “Honey, c’mon let me help you into bed.”
“My head feels so heavy.” It was a tiny whimper and Spencer felt his heart ache at how confused your voice was. His hand brushed softly against your cheek, you were colder than he liked for you to be, you sent him a smile, your eyes still closed.
You began to get up and Spencer helped you towards your bedroom, bringing you a cup full of water after he had laid you in bed. He let you slip back into bed as you sunk into the comforters around you. His fingers were lightly brushing through your hair, your face was scrunched up in discomfort and he knew if you didn’t get anything into your system, you’d wake up feeling worse.
He slipped out of your bedroom and walked into your kitchen, he found eggs and bread and decided that this would do. Toasting the bread and spreading butter on it as he waited for the egg to finish cooking. His thoughts causing him to spiral, he still felt so guilty.
As quickly as he could he had everything cooked and was once again walking back towards your bedroom. Your arms were spread out and your hair was in your face, your color fully restored. He left the food on the cabinet by your bed and slipped into bed with you once more, pulling you onto him. Your arms instinctively wrapped themselves around his chest and your face tucked into neck. You stilled in his arms and then quickly pushed yourself away, “Spencer?”
“Who else?” He laughed quietly, but the worry began to set in him to see your confused expression. “Are you okay? Do you remember anything?”
You looked sad and just slumped back into bed, staying close to him but not wrapping yourself around him, “Yes, but I thought it was just a bad dream.”
He took your arms and wrapped them around himself, bringing you in as close as he could as he pressed kisses to your forehead, which you had only just noticed was pounding. “You scared me out there.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Spencer laughed and began to rub small circles on your back, “What have I told you about making sure you eat breakfast and lunch? What if I wasn’t around and you would’ve hit your head, or you would’ve passed out while driving?”
Spencer’s chest had begun to rise and fall heavily with the prospect of something far worse happening to you if he hadn’t been around, the guilt eating him up.
You grumbled out quietly, “I was going to eat something after letting you in, but you looked upset and I knew we needed to talk.”
You both stayed silent and when you looked up at him, his eyes were already trained on you, he let you speak first. “I am really sorry, I know you deserve to go out with your friends and I obviously know spending time with them outside of work is different than when you’re at work. I was just really tired, the shift was long and I missed you. And I took it out on you and I’m sorry.”
There were tears streaming down your eyes and you wiped them away quickly, “It’s hard having the jobs that we do.”
“I’m sorry too, I think I was still upset about what happened a few days ago and I didn’t want to spend the time that we did have arguing and I opted for going out instead of being here. But I’m still mad at you.”
You laid your head on his chest so you were no longer looking at each other, “You can’t be living off granola bars and coffee.”
“I just forget! I don’t do it on purpose.”
“I know, but for both of our sakes, I need you to sit up and eat.”
You perked you at his words and sat up quickly, causing the room to start spinning again. “Take it easy.”
Before he could reach for the plate you pulled him to you, pressing a few kisses to his lips, “You know I love you right?”
He mumbled quietly against your lips before pressing a kiss to your nose, “I love you too.” He continued to cover your face in soft kisses, only stopping to rub his nose against yours gently, “I missed you.”
“I did too.” He pressed one more kiss to your lips before grabbing the plate, he didn’t let you move from your place until you finished everything.
taglist: @swellwriting @carolinesbookworld @theboywhocriedlupin @awfulmoons @lumos-barnes @fortisfiliae @finnofamerica @beskarjedi @aperrywilliams @ta-ka-shi-ma @spenceluvbot @la-vie-en-amour1 (let me know if you’d like to be added <3)
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x y/n#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#criminal minds angst#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fandom#aaron hotchner#derek morgan
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