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#i dont even know dude maybe im making this up lol
strawberryseeded · 3 months
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*dusting my hands off* WELL....THAT WAS.....HM
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aroaessidhe · 11 months
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2023 reads // twitter thread
This Doesn’t Mean Anything
NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does
struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment
#This Doesn’t Mean Anything#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#well.#I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol#for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day#I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship.#there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book#also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured.#he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too;#as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts#too long.#2)#then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without#a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and#and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’#THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse#to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof.#3)#‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’#you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in#2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa#while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into#the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her#anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad#like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable.#i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better#i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues#guess I'm interested
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vazaez · 2 years
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that’s not very cis of you
BYE🛌
It's complicated alright 😭💀
#a lil personal story about this now that the topic came up:#some time ago i started questioning my gender identity but i didnt like the spanish they/them pronouns on myself#they just didnt sit right lol#so i tried using gender neutral language (ig yall know spanish is one of the many languages that is VERY gendered#even fcking objects have their own 'gender' lmao) so yea if it pas possible i phrased what i said abt myself in a pronounless way#but when it was not possible to do that id use male pronouns to try how i felt with them. the thing is that every fucking time i did that#some dude in a gc i was in said 'dO u hAvE a D¡cK????' and it made me really uncomfy as if i needed it to be able to use those pronouns 🧍#LITERALLY EVERY TIME so eventually i gave up because i thought what's the point of finding my identity if it wont be respected anyways?#so yea im resigned to be seen as the same I was born with the same i've always been and the same everyone knows me#dont get me wrong i dont always hate being a girl but sometimes it makes me curious how would it be if i wasnt#and i dont mind what pronouns ppl use with me most of the time as long as it's not with a bad intention#I've wondered if maybe i'm a she/they? idk i just gave up thinking about it#at least for now. i have my whole ass life to find out what or who i am so i don't feel there's a need to rush tbh#woah this rant got rlly long sorry lol idk if anyone will read this far 🏃#btw it's not only about that guy but he made me constantly remember that most people at least here in latam are very closed minded#just like him so if i ended up finding an identity i was happy with it wouldnt be respected by most people irl anyways#i'm not in that gc anymore tho#i hope i was able to like explain well what i mean? i don't wanna seem like i gave up that easily just because some dude was being a jerk#it's just that i'm kind of an overthinker
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snekdood · 1 year
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I do kinda think peoples reaction to thinking i prevented my ex from Being Whatever They Want and then trying to exclude me entirely from the things i identify with- like... How is that okay in any capacity? If you did this in regard to my trans identity, would it still be okay? Why is it okay with the rest of the ways i identify too? I never stopped them from being anything anyways, i just didnt want to date someone who was mirroring me so fucking much, goddamn, i was okay with being their friend still, why is that so hard to understand. Sorry i dont wanna fuck someone whos pretending to be my clone, almost in an effort to mock me..?
#some of yall are genuinely bad people. like you do need to digest that fact.#all of this based on a rumor. and again i state like ive stated a million times. what will you do when you find out theyre the abuser?#are you gonna try to apolgozie to me for trying to run me off the internet ostracize and bully me?#or are you gonna come up with a million justifications for why your behavior was fine even though you didnt know?#like maybe. just maybe. in situations where you dont know the truth of the situation. maybe. just dont act on the impulse to hurt#someone because you really really want to believe the other person you like more is telling the truth. idk. just an idea.#because i dont think yall are capable of the self introspection right now to realize how fucking abusive your behavior has been.#JUST because its directed at mem suddenly its totally fine. lets not think about the possibility snake could be telling the truth too.#nawww... the guy who identifies as a snake and looks like a disney villain? im totally not allowing my subconscious biases navigate the#way i treat people in this situation. boy do i love my angel looking boys.#me* not mem lol#surely my culturally christian upbringing isnt playing a part in any of this.#anyways. i never went out of my way to invalidate them but ik believing that would make their narrative crumble for you.#i knew what i wanted. they knew what i wanted. they pretended to be what i wanted. when we got comfortable and i got used to#them being that way theyd start to morph back into who they really are. i dont like who they really are. id try to break up woth them.#theyd beg me to stay. id give them another chance and once again they start acting like the person i wanted to be with. rinse and repeat.#that was the entire relationship. i tried breaking up with them so many times but they were too ig dependant on me#and didnt want me to leave bc ig they thought if i wasnt dating them that id just abandon them and never help them with anything.#i do think its more they knew they could manipulate me easier if we were together and they pretended to be what i wanted.#thats what happened and im sorry you cant accept the truth of who your fave is and what theyre like my dude.#me not liking who they really are has nothing to do with their transness. sure. who they really are is more masc than what i wanted.#but kre than that. who they really were was kinda just a skeevy selfish shitty person who thinks really highly of themselves.#and i just didnt dig that man. not sure what to tell you.#should i have put my foot down and left anyways? yes. and i did. but i knew that when i did break up with them they would turn on me.#like they did. and stabbed me in the back a million times. hoping id hate being alive enough bc of the ostracism to kill myself.#then thered be no one to criticize them for their actions or abusive behavior anymore.#but yeah idc. im not going anywhere. you're gonna tell the truth or put up with my existence. those are your options.#anyways i dont think the progressive solution to you believing i prevented them from being things is to prevent me also from#being things. like how does that help when you just spread the supposed pain.... not to mention it was more of a seed you planted#rather than a plant that was already growing
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fardf150 · 3 months
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ig my problem is that when ppl who ive never spoken to who dont and will never have a reason to refer to me ask my pronouns it feels too much like the "are you a boy or girl" question. like im cool when theyre asking everybody bc they plan on knowing and talking to all of us. but when they approach me and only me and i dont know them it's like Oh youre just uncomfortable with the fact that i confuse you and you need to be able to classify me
#also it's always cis ppl who do this. lol#ik they dont mean it like that and ik they think theyre being Progressive and Accepting#but it makes me feel unsafe. tbh. like theyre jst telling me that they Know#and i need to either out myself or lie and misgender myself#kind of why i dont tell anyone unless weve spoken before and they ask#much more comfortable to have plausable deniability while not rly forcing myself into the closet#i present the way i do for Me not so you can come up and say 'hey youre confusing and weird what should i call you'#like leave me aloneeee#and it's kind of insulting bc im as much a butch girl as i am a trans guy and it feels like i cant rly be that first one anymore??#like i Am trans but not every percieved girl who isnt feminine is and same with nonmasculine percieved boys#and unless that person tells you they are or someone who knows the person refers to that person that way then you shouldnt assume#idk. like it feels too close to those 'transvestigators.' even with the best intentions why are you looking so close?#like my cis dad actually made a rly good point abt it once#he was @ an orientation when he went back to college and everybody had to write their pronouns on their name tag#and obv he had the whole Old Cis Dude thing of 'im a dude cant u tell'#but also he was like 'why do you need to talk about me. when im talking to you my pronouns are you/yours and i/me'#like yeah!! why ARE you talking about me???#teachers i kind of get bc sometimes when bringing up a point someone made or saying whos in a group they use the 3rd person#but fucking Stacy sitting behind me in chemistry or some shit doesnt need to know#if u rly need to refer to me idk maybe ask what my name is??? or just say 'that person.' it's not hard.#like this last bit is just a Me thing bc both r technically correct. but id rather have someone assume one way or the other#They'ing me w/o me telling u to when u dont do that to other ppl might as well be outing me w/o us ever speaking#like i dont like being theyed for other reasons and generally i do think it's one of the more respectful options if you dont know someone#but dont!!! only refer to visibly trans/gnc ppl that way!! ur not being nice and depending on the place u cld even be putting us in danger#fred.txt
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writing-blog-iguess · 10 months
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Online Matchup
Summery: Y/n thought it would be fun signing up on dating sites, just for shits and giggles. Who knew that was one of the best decisions they made, especially when they're having too much fun talking to a certain Jason Todd.
warning: swearing, unedited I think, mentions of cancer, fluff, lots of back and forth teasing
word count: 3072
a/n: I promised myself I'd post a fic today, though it's not the one I wanted, I hope you enjoy regardless.
ao3 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Inspired by this:
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September 19
You matched with Jason Todd, say hello!
Y/N So, when you say you're looking for a partner in crime Do you mean, like, rob a bank and fight batman? Or like, cozy up on the couch with the fireplace going while it's raining while we try to finish the books we bought? Cuz, I can do the second one I dont think i could fight batman or any of his kids Or even what to, you know? They’re kind of scary …. well maybe one of them i would fight I say fight but its wont be Oh man, I am so sorry about this. This is not how i wanted to tell you that i am a rambler I’m just gonna see myself out Goodday
Jason Ngl this made me laugh So who would you fight but not really?
Y/N You can’t honestly be interested in who I would fight? No way
Jason Way you seemed interesting and i want to get to know you
Y/N … okay but you need to answer my question first
Jason: Lol fair. And it would be the second one. I too wouldn’t fight batman but for different reasons
Y/N: So you're a fighter?
Jason Nope This isn’t how it works
y/n: Fine but remember, you asked for this
Jason: Okay but it’s not like you have a plan on fighting all the batmans kids so i think im safe
y/n: …….
Jason: Oh shit you do?!
y/n: I plead the fifth
Jason: You just got a little more interesting
y/n: I’m going home
Jason: Damn and here i thought i’d finally found the love of my life
y/n: No, nope Don’t say that The more you talk to me, you’ll find the real me and then want nothing to do with me
Jason: Let me be the judge of that We matched for a reason and i want to find out Don’t you?
Y/n: Aren’t you a charmer Okay fine. 20 questions?
Jason: Sure but after you tell what you would do in a fight with the batfam
y/n: I was hoping you would drop this, damn Alright, you get the honour of telling me who you want to know 
Jason: Nightwing
Y/N: Really? Okay. well first i was thinking of just flirting my way out, but he looks like he’d flirt back and i’m not the best at it to begin with, so I’d just get all flustered Bro’s an acrobat, i aint running from him. I aint running from all of them if i’m being honest. Nah for nightwing, he strikes me as a dork in some way. I’ll talk my way out of it. And if there’s something i’m good at, it’s talking.
Jason: So your plan is to talk circles around him?
Y/N: Yes Once i figure out what type of dork he is, imma talk until he gets confused and then i’ll run away Bro won’t see it coming
Jason: I should tell my brother He’s a huge nightwing fan
y/n: Nooooooooooo No one needs to know i don’t need other people to know how weird i am Especially your family I don't want my first meeting to be ‘hey, you’re that chick that’ll talk nightwing to confusion. Man that was a great laugh’
Jason: You think this will go that far?
Y/N: Honestly? No But i have hope You?
Jason: Ya Anyways, red robin?
Y/N: You skipped red hood
Jason: Saving him for last
Y/N: Fair Hes smart, can’t really talk myself out of that one nor would I flirt He is too young and not my type So i use his weakness
Jason: There’s no way you know that
Y/N: No but I know the dude doesn’t have a regular sleep schedule.
Jason: How do you know that?
Y/N: Back when I worked at a coffee shop, I took his order a few times and watched him down his coffee while it was still hot I asked him once, why? Dude said, and i kid you not ‘sleep is for the week and coffee is god’ Ngl, i laughed and gave him a free coffee just for making my day
Jason: Shit day?
Y/N: Ugh you had no idea. I had two tests that day and a term paper due but i couldn’t get it printed in time so that was late Didn’t help i woke up on the couch, and my body didn’t like that
Jason: You in school?
Y/n: Ya, only two years in but i want it to end
Jason: Not a fan?
Y/N: Eh When did we start playing 20 questions?
Jason: Right, we we suppose to play after you finished your hypotheticals
Y/N: Curses Me and my big mouth Who’s next?
Jason: We’re still on RR
Y/N: Blah right I’ll just bride him with coffee and make a run for it
Jason: The fact that that could actually work is scary Are you sure you’re not a villain?
Y/N: Nope just an engineering student who could fight god with enough coffee and no sleep Honestly, RR’s my spirit animal
Jason: Robin
Y/N: Are you nuts? I’d turn myself in and then some ain’t no way i’m coming up with a plan for him He scares me
Jason: Why?
Y/N: I watched him fight a few times The dude has enough skill and rage to fight the justice league if need be I bet he could kill too He looks like it
Jason: Okay you're not wrong But if you had to come up with a plan, what would it be?
Y/N: Cannot believe you’re making me do this Fine Little dude may have a hard exterior, but years of reading and knowing people like him, he has a soft spot and use that against him
Jason: Do you know what that is?
Y/N: … I am going to die If robin finds this, I am dying by either embarrassment or by his hands
Jason: Come on, you gotta tell me I’m at the edge of my seat here
Y/N: Fine, but if i’m going down I’m taking you with me
Jason: But we’ve only just met
Y/N: Maybe so, but I actually like you But i’m starting to doubt
Jason: Aw come on, little bird
Y/N: Damnit I happened to be walking home and watched him sit in an alley playing with cats Must have been a slow night, he was there for hours
Jason: It was the little bird wasn’t it?
Y/N: So who’s next? Spoiler? Batgirl? The signal? Red hood? Oracle? Well, I wouldn’t fight Oracle, I don’t know who they are but I know they would win so I’m going to stay clear of them No, you know what? I can tell you my answer for all three of them I’d bribe them with cookies or something. Idk if they would take it but that’s my plan. Just straight up bribery. Who could resist cookies?
Jason: That’s your answer to everything huh?
Y/n: Yup
Jason: Even with RH?
Y/n: … He’s different
Jason: How so?
Y/N: Mm, okay but your not allowed to judge Or laugh
Jason: Should I be scared?
Y/N: Depends Anyways, i have a crush on him So I would shoot my shot and if i get turned down then at least I tried
Jason: You have a crush on Red Hood? Out of everyone there is, why him?
Y/N: You’re judging! You said you wouldn’t
Jason: I didn’t say shit Now tell me why him?
Y/N: Hell if I know But have you seen him?
Jason: I have but you don’t even see his face
Y/N: That just adds to the mystic that is Red Hood I just know he’s got a good looking face underneath the mask
Jason: You really are something else
Y/N: Sorry I’m a big fan of RH And I guess I like the thought of a mystery So if you want to end this now, I understand
Jason: Who said anything about ending this?
Y/N: Don’t know, a lot of people who seem interested in me kind of leave after they find out Either they don’t want to compete with a crush that I know have zero chance at or they just don’t like red hood and being with a fan isn’t something they want
Jason: They’re stupid I ain’t leaving for that And who knows, maybe you can shoot your shot one day
Y/N: HA That’s not going to happen I freeze up when I’m near someone I like I’d probably stutter and say something embarrassing and run away No thank you
Jason: Thought it out huh
Y/N: You have no idea Anyways, 20 questions?
Jason: I did promise You can ask a couple?
Y/N: Favourite colour?
Jason: Really? After what I did to you, your going to ask something simple
Y/N: Answer the question Jason
Jason: Green
Y/N: Thank you Favourite food?
Jason: What’s with the easy questions? Give me some hard hitting personal ones
Y/N: I will in time Now, answers please
Jason: Chili dogs
Y/N: Those things are gross
Jason: Hey, they are the pinnacle of street food You just have to find the right places
Y/N: Mmkay, if you say so
Jason: Alright, gonna have to take you to one of my favourite places
Y/N: That right?
Jason: Only way to convince you Where do you go to school?
Y/N: Looking forward to it Gotham University, you?
Jason: Not yet, but trying to Kind of hard when you were declared dead for a while
Y/N: Fucking what?! Gonna need that story
Jason: Nope, gotta reach at least level 10 in friendship to unlock it
YN: Damnit
Jason: Sorry little bird
Y/N: You didn’t need to say it so casually tho Who just mentions, ‘yeah i’ve been declared dead but haven’t done anything’ into a conversation And not elaborate on it This is bullshit, sir
Jason: It has happened to people
Y/N: Yeah, but they tell people why You just Dropped a bomb like that and say, not yet Whatever, i’ll drop it
Jason: You sure? Sounds like it’ll bother you until you get the story
Y/N: Yes I’m sure Yes it will bother me But like I said, I like you and I don’t want to be pushy I’m not a pushy person
Jason: Awe does someone have a wittle crush
Y/N: No You got nothing on RH
Jason: Now that just hurts, little bird
Y/N: Don’t you have a question you need to ask?
Jason: Are you flustered? I feel like you’re flustered
Y/N: Amazing weather we’re having Despite the rain and all
Jason: Alright, I’ll stop with the teasing For now Born in Gotham?
Y/N: No I am from Metropolis, moved here for school
Jason: Any other reason?
Y/N: Yeah, Superman kept destroying my apartment building I’ve moved three times and somehow, he always finds the building I’m living in Minute I graduated high school, I moved
Jason: But why Gotham?
Y/N: Gotham intrigues me
Jason: You’re so weird
Y/N: Thank you Since you’re not in school, what do you do?
Jason: Mechanic Didn’t really want my dad’s help so I’m finding my way in life
Y/N: Not a great relationship?
Jason: You can say that So, engineering huh?
Y/N: Yup I love building and taking things apart Have since I was little
Jason: Gonna change the world?
Y/N: Imma try but can’t really do that while working at luthor corp
Jason: Please tell me your joking
Y/N: Ah, not a fan I see Can’t blame you but I am not It was one of the first places I’ve applied to and hear back right away I accepted before getting my other interviews
Jason: jumped the gun a bit 
Y/N: Yeah I did. I wished I didn’t but oh well I’ll find something better if this doesn’t work out
Jason: Why don’t you quit now?
Y/N: I am a broke college student who needs money If I quit now, I’m not sure if I find someone to take me Plus the hours working there are helping my schooling, so it’s kinda late to switch jobs
Jason: Can’t believe I’m saying this but try wanye enterprise I hear they’re good to work for
Y/n: I plan too eventually But at the moment, this is fine The hours I have now works with my school hours
Jason: How’s working there anyways?
Y/N: Not too bad I guess I’m allowed to work on my own projects as long as I work on the assigned ones The people are nice and all but it could be better
Jason: But you don’t like it there?
Y/N: I don’t like Lex Luthor and what he represents I guess
Jason: So you believe that he’s trying to take down superman?
Y/N: I’ve seen one of their fights Nothing to believe
Jason: Must of been some fight
Y/N: Mm So What did you mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this?
Jason: You can’t be weird about it
Y/N: Oh? I am intrigued
Jason: You’re making it weird
Y/N: I am not It’s not like I said you have a crush on Bruce Wayne or something That would have been weird
Jason: Is this how you felt when I teased you?
Y/N: Paybacks a bitch isn’t it?
Jason: I hate you
Y/N: Okay
Jason: I do
Y/N: You’re deflecting
Jason: Oh my god Fine He’s my dad, well adoptive dad
Y/N: Cool
Jason: That’s it? You’re not going to fawn over him being my dad? Ask me questions about what he’s like? Ask if the tabloids are true?
Y/N: Nope Tbh, I don’t care for Bruce Like, I applaud him for what he’s trying to do for Gotham and all But, seeing him on every magazine everywhere I go gets a bit tiring He’s just another dude that people are obsessed with Who cares if he’s rich Besides, I’m talking to you aren’t I? Who cares about Bruce Wayne I wanna know Jason Todd
Jason: You know? I think I may actually be in love 
Y/N: Stooooooop You can’t say things like that
Jason Why? Cuz you get flustered so easily?
Y/N And if I do?
Jason Gotta say it’s my favourite past time
Y/N So, the reason you don’t have a great relationship with Bruce Does it have anything to do with you being dead or something?
Jason Wow WOW I cannot believe you We go from what's your favourites to hard hitting questions huh? I see how it is
Y/N I told you they were coming
Jason I just didn’t think you’d use it as a deflection tactic
Y/N Yeah I want to say sorry But I’m not I’m sure you would use anything to get attention from yourself
Jason Can’t do positive attention
Y/N Eh
Jason I hear you And yes it is part of the reason why me and Bruce are not in good terms
Y/N Mm, I’m sure he’s trying
Jason In his own Bruce way yeah
Y/N Are you?
Jason I like to believe I am Why the interest?
Y/N I don’t know Maybe it’s the fact that my relationship with my dad isn’t the best
Jason You’re dad’s not Bruce Wayne’s too?
Y/N HA Then I would not be talking to you in this fashion
Jason That is true So then what?
Y/N My mom says we are too similar to each other Got the same attitude and all I believe it Growing up, it was all your useless and you’ll amount to nothing Or he’ll ignore me, and I’d prefer that over the degrading Only time he’d show his affection was if he was drunk
Jason Wow Sorry 
Y/N Yeah It’s gotten better since I moved out Now it’s there, and I’m still processing 
Jason Processing what?
Y/N Mm It’s a pretty heavy topic to get into with someone you just met
Jason Can’t be worse than me being dead for months
Y/N Months?! How many?
Jason Oh damn You are a lot easier to talk with then who I normally socialize with
Y/N I shall take that as a complement
Jason As you should And no, I will not be elaborating 
Y/N Alright fair But I will get the story
Jason Mm, I’m sure you will So? Gonna answer my question
Y/N Last year he was diagnosed with cancer Not sure what it is, but it already spread
Jason How long did the doctors give him?
Y/N He didn’t want to know Can’t blame him for 
Jason Sorry about that
Y/N Yeah
Jason You don’t sound to hurt about it
Y/N Like I said, still processing it so I don’t know how to feel With the childhood I had, I don’t know how too But I know when it comes down to it, my emotions will hit me like a truck when the day comes
Jason Well, soak up as much time as you can before you have any regrets
Y/N Trying to He is just making it impossible Whoo boy! That was a lot of emotion for one night I think I’m going to eat some ice cream and binge watch my favourite show
Jason Sounds fun, wish I could join but I promised my brothers with help
Y/N How many do you have?
Jason Do you read anything about the Wayne family?
Y/N Nope What I know about him is what is whispered between my classes and work and even then I don’t listen to them
Jason Really committed on not caring about him, huh Four brothers and three sisters
Y/N Big family
Jason Bruce likes to adopt
Y/N I can tell Anyways, have fun tonight
Jason I’ll try Would you be interested in talking some more?
Y/N I would love to
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hijackalx · 6 months
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*SOME DURGE QUEST SPOILERS*
***NONCON AND DRUG USE MENTIONS***
GORTASH SFW HEADCANONS:
ok to start i think when he was a prisoner his hair got rlly long and unkept and he hateddd it so the minute he escaped he chopped that shit off himself and thats why its so unruly lol (*EDIT he always cuts his own hair is what im sayin)
this man is such a taurus like everything about him screams taurus. has a taurus stellium fosho
would listen to superheaven
hes also sooo jenny by studio killers, disco man by remi wolf, happiness by the 1975 coded with Durge 😩😩
with durge hes also giving bf that ur dad hates but like thats canon. i think he likes that hes able to influence durge to the point that they rebel lol. the type of boy u run away with when ur younger
probably BLASTED jet black heart by 5SOS on repeat when Durge disappeared LMFAOO
also i kind of feel like the fearless buff to his clothing is more an insight to his character rather than him needing magic to not be fearful bcz he literally got the shit beat out of him everyday and lived in HELL how can he not be desensitized to everything at that point 😭😭😭 it does not get much worse than that my boy
hes so thique like hes just a big boned dude. tiddies SO fat too EUGH + thick shoulders/arms. he feels so warm and safe i just know it i just KNOW it gurl
also idk if it was supposed to happen but in my latest playthrough during the fight with him he dropped his bow and just started beating the shit out of us 😭😭😭😭 all hands baby like WHAT 😭😭 so i like to think thats his preferred method of fighting idk if thats canon tho i feel like i seen somebody talking abt that before but mightve just been another hc
occasionally does drugs. likes the ones that make him feel really elated (idk what theyre called in bg3 its some kind of dust or something) ALSO HC THAT HE WAS ON SOMETHING WHEN HE WROTE RHAT FUCKED UP NOTE TO FRANC (WAS THAG HIS NAME U GUYS KNOW THE NOTE) HE WAS OBVIOJSLY TRIPPING BALLSSSSS
lots of body hair…… everywhere……. straight and black body hair. that is so sexy to me let me smell the pheromones in your armpits king LMFAO (i think theres something wrong with me)
going off of rhat yes i think he smells good (DIVINE, even) as a woman that is feral and in heat all the time. but to normal ppl he may smell kind of weird. not STINKY stinky but like when u dont shower and ur natural scent starts to mix with the perfume/cologne ur wearing SORRY 😭😭😭 im trying to be realistic here. or maybe like when u wake up and didnt shower the night before and u can still smell the perfume/cologne u put on yesterday. basically what im saying is he might need to shower
hes just so masculine it drives me crazy I LOVE MEN !!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EEENERM. ME E WN
love language:
giving = lowkey getting acts of service vibes here but u didnt hear it from me 🤫🤐 gift giving too. tav is just his widdle babie and he wants to make sure theyre the happiest they can be 🥺😩
receiving = acts of service LMAO give and get back type of shit
relationship wise i think he is the most doting and sweetest person. like tav will never have to worry abt anything ever again bcz he will handle everything. takes care of them cuz they are his king/queen 😌
GORTASH NSFW HEADCANONS:
yeah going off that last hc he is sweet outside the bedroom but a menace in it. its just the way he is. its probably exhausting too 😩 like if u ask him to be gentler/less intense he will try for a while but probably wont enjoy it as much. he doesnt like to hold back.
i WILL say tho ☝🏻🤨 i think when he gets close to finishing he gets a little more soft/loving. he just has to get his badness out first yall its fine
HIGH libido wants to smash all the time. he also (POSSIBLE NONCON MENTION !!!!!!!) thinks that since ur his u should be willing to give it up whenever he wants it. (NONCON MENTION OVER) i think in the bedroom he sees u as a servant even if ur considered his equal normally. like hes a chosen of bane he has to feel like he has control over u in SOME way
can be selfish depending on his mood. sometimes he doesnt see u as anything other than a toy (lowkey hard for me to admit but i NEVA LIE GIRLS !!!!! 🙅🙅🙅) like can be such a fucking asshole about it too
BUT !!! when he is feeling generous he is soooo generous. EUGH like he will make sure u enjoy urself!!!! probably multiple times !!!!!!!!!!!!
dont know why nobody else has said he has a daddy kink. so obvious like call him daddy ms thing he will nut so hard. oh corruption kink too. like can u imagine Durge being so innocent when they first met cuz they were never allowed to get close to anybody and hes just sooo into it HELLO i got to write that fic NEOW
omg breeding kink too give him heirs. will fuck the shitttt out of u in a mating press. probably comes a lot too almost impossible not to get pregnant with him LMAO
likes to pick u up and fuck u. manhandling king. also will do the faerun equivalent to coke and wants u to do it w him then fuck nasty afterwards
i feel like he doesnt last an extremely long time. 15-20 mins is THE MOST youre getting out of him lol he just gets very excited (which is lowkey kind of cute??)
do i even have to say that this man is packing schmeat. heavy dick. heavy balls. allow me to bear some of that weight for u my liege 🤲🏻🧎
ORIN BONUS ????:
mostly nsfw
ok i didnt originally plan to add orin but listen….. gortash is a charismatic guy….. imagine orin was into him too LISTEN ! like shes jealous asf of Durge in that sense too not just bcz of them being bhaal’s fav. like when i think abt them i just am getting a vibe okay. this trio……..
every time she sees gortash and Durge acting close and doing all their yucky lovesick shit she just gets soooo mad. now imagine she shifts into Durge to get gortash to fuck her. yeah… yall seeing the vision? would he ever find out ?? imagine that was why he hates orin so much?? he doesnt want to tell Durge (cuz thats cheating hes not a cheater duh 🙄 plus hes scared theyll be mad at him) and thats why his explanations as to why he hates orin are so vague
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rainbowgod666 · 2 months
Text
Wizardposting blogs and my view of them, OR:
My ass out here cataloguing wizards like they're pokemon 💀 i ran out of things to do fr 💀💀💀
@official-megumin: dutch (EDIT. SHE ISNT. I WRONGLY REMEMBERER A POST OF HERS. I KNOW HER ASS IS LIVING [OR FROM] NORTH EUROPE THO) megumin that still has the "only knows one spell and its the stupidest and hardest to unlock and use. Balancing the Meta my ass" problem. In a relationship with @a-sentient-cup
@autism--wizard: just a lil neurodivergent guy that likes spooders. Not much of it really. Possibly strong enough to defeat spiders georg
@the-adhd-sorcerer: moot :) also more powerful than they let on, but its like DBXV2: starter gear and GODLY stats
@mossy--wizard: moss-fueled neurodivergent boi with lots of moss. Yes their blog feels like a wet forest in the sunlight, drying up after a long rain. Not really interacted with them tho...
@wizard-council-bureaucrat: basically the MC of tumblr wizardposting. If they say something its either wizard law or just a suggestion. Probably the only wizard here that ISNT "surprisingly powerful even though their learning was less than advanced"
@wizard-intern: the blorbo.
@the-gnomish-bastard: ok i get that theyre basically pilaf from dragonball, but A: the stew arcanum is REAL bur the 24 gods thing either sounds like bullshit or he made a stew out of 24 REALLY HUBRIS-FILLED PEOPLE (which would explain his "holy fucking shit how are you even capable of HAVING A STRUCTURE WITH THE FUNCTION OF A BRAIN"), B: he was the dude that came up with the whole "floating wizard island thing" (which has so many holes like wtf put it back down) and C: im pretty sure they have been corrupted by some kind of mushroom deity, which would explain the fact that when calling him "stupid" its like SCP-682 saying that humans are disgusting. Because there literally isnt a stronger word in the human language. How in the fuck does someone have so little intellect we have to do like the jewish population of europe after 1945 when they came up with the word "shoah" to describe what happened to them. To the user running that blog. GET SOME PSYCHIATRIC HELP ASAP. Holy shit.
@not-a-suspicious-wizard: "I aM vErY tRuStWoRtHy" dude everyone knows you wanna do some weird "subjugate reality" bullshit. How about you start making drafts and NOT murdering opponents? Seriously dude if you wanna be in charge as long as you dont try weird "consolidating power like its the 1940s" shit its alright. Maybe take some craftmanship things as a hobby! Make your own throne! Come up with something to do when you are too tired to do Dominant King Bullshit! Play modded minecraft/terraria! Make origami! If youre gonna blanket the world in darkness, at least make it look cool and welcoming instead of "inevitable rebel uprising lol have fun with Prophetic Children lmao" :3
@incompetent-wizard: are you SURE youre incompetent? Chances are, you're just unlucky 😊
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kenlvry · 1 year
Text
"you like me??!!!"
s, in which you ask mysterion if he knows a kid by the name kenny mccormick and then proceeds to say you have a crush on this kid kenny. f!reader, kenny is unhooded, 16-17.
you always hung out with stan and craigs gang. you weren't in anyone's cliques,, you were just inbetween. sometimes with stans gang sometimes with craigs.
but you still couldn't befriend kenny mccormick. he was usually quiet around you, even though you two were always together you couldn't muster up anything to him. he was really attractive and you had the biggest crush on him. he never paid you any attention though, and you too didn't. you thought he hated you so you try to avoid him to make his life easier.
"dude he doesn't hate you," "idk stan, its like he doesn't even acknowledge me, he only ever talks to me if im with you guys" you sigh "maybe he does hates you lol" "cartman shut up. look y/n take your time, he can be hard to open up to, he's really nice dw" "yeah i guess youre right kyle, well see you tmr" you waved at he three of them as you part ways. arriving home you sighed, you wonder why kenny hates you so much.
it was around 10 pm now and you smile with anticipation as you open your window wide. usually at this time mysterion visits you, it started happening two weeks after you moved here but you aren't complaining. you talk to him about your frustrations and he just listens ,hes your bestfriend despite you not knowing his identity. you scrolled on your phone while waiting for him and heard him climbing up a secret entry you put for him. "HII" you greet him "hey" he says smiling.
you two talk mindlessly for hours and you decided to bring up your crush to him for advice. "hey can i ask you a question" you stood up from laying down looking at him, he hummed in response. "i have this like huge crush and i dont know what to do, he always ignores me and i know i should move on but I can't get him off my mind its like something or someone is constantly reminding me of him" you rambled.
he raised his eyebrow and his eyes seemed dull when you said you had a crush, growing silent as you complained and just felt jealousy take over. "you should move on, if he ignores you it means he hates you, end of discussion" "dude rude, cmon you dont even know who it is" he stood up from your bed and put his hands on his waist "well if he ignores you he definitely is a bitch, he shouldn't ignore someone without a reasoning. who is this man anyways???" whoever it was kenny was sure to pay a visit at his house to see if he was so handsome that you could fall head over heels for him. "oh its kenny mccormick" "oh him y- WHAT" "idk if you know him though hes like quiet most of the time" "YOU LIKE ME???" "what" he coughs and felt his face flush red "um no i mean continue" "no no i heard that loud and clear wdym you like me??"
kenny was nervously avoiding eye contact now. he didn't know you were trying your best to be his friend, he thought you two were already good friends and thought that you didn't care if he didn't talk to you during school. "i.. ummm..." "wait.. are you kenny!?" you gasp and stood up from your bed covering your mouth "OMG YOU ARE KENNY HOLY SHIT" he was now panicking, he didn't know how you're gonna react.
he sighs "y-yes im sorry i didn't know you were trying to befriend me at school and yk bc i see you at night i didn't really care but i guess i never saw it from your point of view" you were still shocked and continued to cover your mouth, he thought you were so mad at him and that you hated him for lying and ignoring you, he looks down waiting for you to curse at him . "this is so embarrassing omg" huh? he looked up in confusion to you covering your face "can't believe i literally just confessed to you" you were groaning with your ears red. "wait.. you don't care??" "I WOULD IF I DIDN'T JUST CONFESS I NEVER CONFESSED TO ANYONE BEFORE." "uh well.. sorry??? i.." "just leave." "what huh??" "leave myster- kenny i mean" he just leave you to process your thoughts.
the next day at school was so embarrassing you two avoided each other, and when met eye contact you both blush. "i like you too" you turned your head to kenny slouching in his seat hands in his pocket, he turned to face you meeting his eye "i like you too idiot" you slowly smile and blush you two turning away from each other internally blushing not looking over at the other person.
"tf is their problem" "dont know don't wanna know" stan and kyle look at each other confused. looks like theres a new couple in class
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zukotheartist · 1 year
Text
I say this as someone who's sapphic and likes to look at songs with a sapphic/queer outlook but... i cant fucking stand gaylors and bilors💀
(I dont mean ppl who are just maybe a bit curious about Taylor's sexuality and have their opinions but at the end of the day keep it to themselves. I mean ppl who act like they KNOW and theyre the only ones to GET a stranger's sexuality and then act in all sorts of weird ways about it)
Dude, dissecting someone's sexuality like that (especially when it's someone you don't know) is so weird and disrespectful and tbh homophobic/biphobic too bc if the person actually IS queer (which is an IF) then you're also forcing them to come out/outing them, which are both horrible things.
Also, yes ofc heterosexuality shouldnt be the default but actively theorising 24/7 about someone's sexuality or even claiming that you're sure it's in x or y way and constantly belittling the person's longterm relationship bc of it and then making fun of a possible breakup (even tho we've been told through songs multiple times stuff like "I hope I never lose you, [...] that's the kind of heartbreak that would never mend")... is so fucked up.
Anyway, ig what im trying to say is: touch some grass and feel free to block me if youre a gaylor/bilor lol
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newtkive · 3 months
Text
pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 1 - the gc birth
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends
or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28
__
THE GLADE
[ 7:45 PM ]
alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally
alby: Hello, guys.
minho: wtf is this
newt: uhhhh
tommy: hi :3
y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private
gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number
newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n
tommy: oh that’s y/n?
alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??
newt: yea
tommy: o.O
y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao
tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????
y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p
newt: lmao
minho: ik he smug as fuck rn
not u asking for a girls number lmao simp
newt: stop
y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it
plus you guys are friends irl so idk
it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh
minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n
we play games all the time
call all the time
we even send packages and shit
you’re very much considered our irl friend
y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺
tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️
minho: the heart eyes are crazy
but yes dude
newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you
minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO
but real ig
y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE
hahahahha
HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR
I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER
gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys
minho: gally sleeps in the corner
gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion
y/n: cherry blossom mansion*
gally: and you sleep in a shed
y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.
tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰
y/n: love you tommy <3333
minho: that’s actually nasty stop now
y/n: u mad ur unloved
i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((
newt: aw it is
minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord
alby: I’m done with Discord.
newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate
minho: mate 💀💀
british people so crazy
alby: Yes maybe..
I don’t want to make another.
y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to
minho: LMAO REAL
alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)
minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀
newt: minho admitting he’s jobless
minho: you work at a library be so fr rn
newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.
gally: LMFAOOOOOOO
minho: stfu :////
y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY
tommy: YAAAY!!!!
im going to text you guys all day
tell you every meal
every thought
every interaction will be meaningful and glorious
newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that
minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit
why not just do it before in the discord ??
tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..
y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy
newt: ok second thought that’s fine
minho: .
gally: that’s wild.
y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST
newt: first with what
y/n: say what u ate today
newt: didn’t say i’d do it.
tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333
you guys next
minho: that’s all you had bro..
y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D
minho: ??????? BRO
how are you guys alive
y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking
newt: please eat and drink water.
like for real and document it
y/n: ok wait
Tumblr media
there
tommy: yum!
minho: y/n..
newt: cereal does not count
y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY
im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare
newt: alright what do you want?
y/n: wym?
newt: like if you could pick.
minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it
i like it go on.
tommy: i want chick fil a
minho: i knew you hate the gays
tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????
y/n: ugh that does sound good
mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch
newt: that’s what you would order?
y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh
newt: ok
minho: that’s it?
i thought soemthing would happen
tommy: me too
like a spell! magic 🪄
y/n: sigh
my cereal tastes bad now
newt: well it is cocoa puffs.
minho: L cereal
y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG
minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L
newt: you're annoying minho
minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that
newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying
minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday
newt: ???
myself
and i paid for yours too
im the one with an income
minho: .
well i didnt think youd remember that well.
newt: it was literally yesterday.
minho: yeah but ur old
newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU
minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔
tommy: guys stop fighting
newt: we aren't fighting
maybe this gc was a bad idea
tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!
y/n: NOOOO!
tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl
y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was
y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.
wait there is a knock at my door im scared
newt: answer it
minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????
newt: well usually yes
y/n: no im not expecting company
newt: just do it pls
y/n: ok :D
minho: bruh..
i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt
newt: why would you want that
minho: bc she owes me money
newt: YOU owe ME money
minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux
tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE
y/n: :o....
tommy: Y/N?????????
OH GOD THEY GOT HER
minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got
tommy: clearly its a surprised face
maybe its not her
its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use
y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!
minho: me
newt: you literally did not
minho: shut up
y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt
newt: well
y/n: :(
newt: what why are you sad?
minho: im hungry too
y/n: u spent ur money :(
newt: you're hungry are you not?
minho: she's not but i am
y/n: yeah but..
i feel bad you shouldn't have
newt: just eat it or i'll be mad
minho: i think i want red lobster
newt: it's really no big deal y/n
y/n: thank you newt :(((((
newt: you're welcome
go eat and watch ur show or smth
minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving
newt: can you shut up
gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.
minho: thank god
newt: good
tommy: good
y/n: good
the food is good too <3
newt: good.
_
lmk if you want to be tagged!
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crushedsweets · 8 months
Note
Who are the people that Toby likes the most?
Natalie, Jack, and Ben!
Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .
toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.
they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.
toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.
jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").
of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!
they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
Note
I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD
Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)
Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---
Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback
I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️
Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----
WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS
YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐
(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)
___________
DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches
Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)
And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing
(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)
Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone
(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)
Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)
IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY
Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)
Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing
(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)
Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell
(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)
They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO
(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)
Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.
(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)
pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭
What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭
If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth
___________
Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)
That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰
God this is so long im so sorry everyone
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
402 notes · View notes
shi-bxnii · 8 months
Text
i will get hate for this likely but TWST HC's/Character Writings that annoy me and/or i feel are OOC
(check below cut) (all dorms/staff) (note: these are my personal opinions, do what you want, these arent for "Hey dont do this >:(" , im literally just saying what i personally feel, GO CRAZY AAA GO STUPID)
❤️Heartslaybul🃏
👑 Riddle HC: He's uptight and doesn't know fun
My take: He can be uptight and arguebly doesn't have fun in the same way others do but its been shown a few times riddle is a bit feral in his own way
♣️ Trey HC: Sweet mama friend whos done no wrong and needs a break
My take: He is a sweet mama friend but he has been shown quite a few times to do some (harmless) underhanded things for his own gain (Starsending Event: Getting a new blender/juicer/whatever it was)
♦️Cater HC: Bubbly guy whos secretly depressed with an internet addiction and THATS IT
My take: though not inherently wrong a lot of ppl dumb down his character to be very vague and two dimensional, Cater is also very alturistic in some cases and has shown to have a variety of skills (maybe not Trey/Ruggie lvl but its still skills)
♥️Ace HC: Mean as hell even in pranks(? this isnt one thats blatantly stated but written on a lot)
My take: Ace CAN be an ass but a lot of the time he will backout or realize his fuck up and make up for it, hes not jus sum ass that ppl talk too, hes a bully in the most loving way possible (lookin at deuce about that one LOL)
♠️Deuce HC: Oblivious dumbass
My take: Now in the context of School or sayings/confusing wording THIS IS VERY TRUE, but ppl make Deuce an all around idiot ive noticed and it annoys me, Deuce is very streets smart both in literal and just like,, hes a dude that knows things, and it annoys me so bad when they jus make Deuce a dumbass
🦁Savanaclaw🌞
🦁Leona HC: Hes heavily self interested
My take: also another that isnt inherently wrong but also is taken way outta context, Leona can and will be self serving but hes also shown to be kind and considerate and willing to help (even if he tries to deflect by saying it wasn't on his mind/not that it was truly within his heart), hes just a more intense Tsundere than Jack
🍩Ruggie HC: Same as leona with heavy self interest
My take: now this is more true then leonas but theres been a few times where ruggies done things for no/little gain, especially when it involves some level of danger, he may still joke about it but hes always pulled through
🐺Jack HC: this is also not a stated HC but ppl seem to forget how territorial/aggressive Jack gets so in writings hes usually just sum laid back guy
My take: Dude has been shown countless times to be headstrong and be aggressive and territorial, maybe not in the Adeuce, Tweel way but he in his own right has been shown to be aggressive (even if playful or more tamed then the formentioned)
🌊Octavinelle🫧
🐙Azul HC: Dark skin (visual HC)
My take: I AGREE AND DISAGREE, ive seen ppl give some characters vitiligo but NEVER to azul, if anything it WOULD be Azul, not only that Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease with factors such as stress, and who stresses more than anyone? AZUL, i usually consider most Visual canon to be just that with very little HC's but if Azul is to be interpreted with dark skin, mf has vitiligo
😈Floyd HC: Older of the twins and a variety of romantic HC's/writings i cant all list
My take: Its been shown in either a viginette or an event (i think an event) that despite being born within the same timing, Jade was actually first before Floyd (Jade makes a joke about keeping him around so im guessing the mf murked all his other siblings eggs djebdjsb ???) // As for romantic HC's writings what annoys me most is that he will usually be interpreted as very loving + his mood swings, i know damn well if Floyd had a gf/bf hes sTILL abiding to himself, now there are some factors that wouldnt keep this true to a default but floyd is floyd
👿Jade HC: He's just as seen in game//no real depth
My take: Its shown during the camp vargas event that Jade is actually extremely excitable and even (according to those around him (i think Cater says it)) that he even shouts in excitement about the natural Oven he was gunna make to cook the fish, Jade is very mannerly and a bit hard to read and its been stated as true, but Jade is also just a fucking nerd as well when you peel back the layers he isnt just that same guy as before
🏜️Scarabia🎆
🎉Kalim HC: Both in HC's and writings a LOT of people drive on the fact of kalims "obliviousness"
My take: NOW THIS ONE MAKES ME THE MOST ANNOYED, Kalim may be happy go lucky and sunshine like, but that motherfucker is AWARE, now you may try and ref Jamil in B4 but- BUT- Jamil is his literal lifelong friend and even if he was blatantly backstabbing at some points Kalim gave him the benefit of doubt, because hes known him all of his life and ik you mfs LYIN if you said you wouldnt for a life long friend... // Also Kalim despite his delivery being happy/sunshine like, Kalim has been shown to have a more feral (similer to Ace) side and even a more snarky side, though rare and playful at most hes not just some 🌞 fr
🐍Jamil HC: Transfem
My take: NOW BEFORE YALL GET MAD, its not the inherit fact that ppl will HC this, do what you want have fun, but i hate that a lot of the reason ppl will HC this, is simply long hair more fem aligned appearance.,,, suddenly men can't have shit,,,, again if you want to i dont really care it just a random irk of mine at most
👑Pomefiore🧪
👑Vil HC: similar to Jamil's and self interest once again
My take: Similar to Jamil, a lot of ppl will HC Vil transf/m due to the fact that within the JP ver, Vil uses a pronoun/self identifier commonly used for/in feminine use, but also for masc use,,, this one is also jus a random irk and i truly do not mind at all but i hate when ppl base of very little things (ik i sound stupid these r jus my opinions LOL)...// Self interest again but Vil's literally in B5 shown to not only not tell anyone but do it on his own whim to post Epel's family product so they can buy out to the point Epel had to give back the crates of Juice his family got him, Vil did that himself, he may be cunt(y) but hes also very considerate
🏹Rook HC: N/A
My take: Surprisingly i see very little HC's of Rook and when i do they make sense to me (Ex: Dark skin and coily/wavy hair, mf was born n raised in Afterglow savanna so even if he has whiter genetics, mf DEFINITELY having darker skin, hes a hunter hes oUTSIDE)
🍏Epel: Transmasc (but for the wrong reasons)
My take: Now of all characters to HC as trans DOES make sense, but also at the same time Epel normally doesnt mind who he is, its only when its used negatively/to mock him or something that he knows ppl will think "less of him" for it,,, this one irks me way less but a lot of ppl will HC/Write epel way more sensitively about himself then he is whether with a trans HC or not, overall though this HC does make the most sense to me
🖥️Ignihyde🎮
💠Idia HC: N/A
My take: Same as Rook, i dont see a lot i dont disagree with or aren't too far from Canon, i will say my fav Idia HC is that hes a complete weeb and has a body pillow of some sort, man wants to be a non normie so bad but fell for the normie weeb traps (body pillow and prolly owns a figurine of the waifu) LOL
🌐Ortho HC: N/A
My take: i dont see a lot of Visual or normal HC's in general for ortho which makes me sad, give my son more swag,,,, i will say i did see a HC that orthos normal body (robo) his shoulders are white boards and people will write stuff on them and that ppl will normally decorate him with stickers :3
❇️Diasomnia⚜️
🐲Malleus: HOO boy theres a lot
My take: way too many to write on this post but i will say that for rom! HC's and writings... MF THIS BITCH GOT NO RIZZ NO SWAGGER, everyone writes or HC's him to be the most romantic mystery dragon prince... brotha this man dont know how to use a phone you think he knows what talkin to a romantic interest + being good at flirting is like?? nuh uh you know damn well that mf askin lillia in near tears what the hell to do
🦇Lillia: Also a lot :(
My take: Doing rom! HC's/Writings again.,,, i feel like in general Lillia would actually avoid personal romances, he wouldn't be like EW ICKY, but considering his past and current responsibilities (Looking after his two sons Mal and Silver and then their cousin Sebek), i think it would be much harder for him to actually be involved in romance
🐊Sebek HC: Also a LOT GAHHH
My take: Now for this one i feel like ppl make Sebek similar to deuce and make him an oblivious dunce, Sebek is smart as hell but he jus doesn't understand customs outside of Fae, hes from Briar valley where most people are fae, and also dont have internet, you cant blame him for being bad at lingo and oblivious to what we would normally know by like age 8../// Also funnily enough i feel like Sebek and Mal get rev for rom HC's (Mal being filled with Swagger while Lillia helps sebek),,, i feel like despite not knowing normal customs,, if Sebek ever pursued someone romantically he would actually not be bad at it, sure a bit lost here n there but i feel like hes got swagger
⚔️Silver HC: That he takes things passively
My take: Silver has been shown to act against others wishes even those with authority (Even more so in B7 but i wont spoil),, Silver often acts as a voice of reason to Sebek as well in those moments but due to Sebeks tunnel vision up until B7, mf wont hear it, and since Silver basically has known Sebek all his life, to see him not press on the matter more in certain aspects is normal, ppl with headstrong siblings know this especially, sometimes you jus gotta be like "okay fine"
🎭Staff👥
In general i feel like a lot of people forget THIS IS AN ENTIRE SCHOOL the game is set in, teachers can take on different classes,,, but theres more teachers than just Vargas, Crewel and Trein, YOU SEE THAT BIG ASS SCHOOL? Theres a least 20 more teachers runnin around that bitch other than the ghosts, but since its a game and not like a series, Obviously they cant jus throw a random teacher every scene
✨Crowley HC: N/A
My take: A lot of HC's are usually just addition to canon or within character so i have no complaints
🐱Trein HC: Also N/A
My take: a lot of HC's for trein r very in character so i honestly dont have any annoyances
🐩Crewel HC: STRICT
My take: as a teacher? yes duh, but as a person? Crewel is definitely cheetah print joint smokin leggings and hello kitty tattoo aunt and classical and fancy wine aunt fusion, soon as mf off the clock hes MESSY in the auntie way
🥇Vargas HC: N/A
My take: now this isnt a HC/Writing but the way EVERYONE CLOWNS VARGAS ATTIRE..... the costumes for crewel n vargas in camp vargas were not bad at all imo, they werent spos to look like runway models or the latest trend that was GOOD costume design for something that was only spos to be VAGUELY seen cuz its DARK
🔮Sam HC: N/A
My take: I rarely see HC's of Sam :(
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ribread03 · 7 days
Text
pool day. bsf!Nick(platonic) x reader x crush!Matt PT.2
warnings: Smut, fluff, teasing, Head m receiving, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap)
AN: Finally getting around to writing part 2 of this. Also Im doing this rather than writing an essay for my English class lol.
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He suddenly pulls away looking at your neck. His fingers brush over the spot he was just attacking with his mouth. "Hope you have some make up with you" He says as he turns around and leaves you there on the counter, alone, after he built up all that tension.
Getting off of the counter you change and walk up to Nick's room to say bye to him. "Bye Nick, I really need to go. Thanks for the bathing suit again." You say before you hug him and head out to your car.
When you reach your car you remember about the deep red, and purple marks on your neck. You are really hoping Nick didn't notice them, but it's Nick so he probably did. Slapping yourself in the face you back out of their drive way.
~~
Walking into your house you drop your bag and head straight to your bathroom. Turning the shower on, -the water being a thousand degrees-. Stepping into the shower you relaxed into the hot water. Grabbing your phone you open the music app and turn on your shower playlist.
About 5 minutes go by and you get a text from Nick. "Shit" you say out loud. You open it not really know what to expect. When you open it you see a photo of Matt but its from far away. Along with the photo is a text that says "This dude has not stopped talking for the past 2 hours. Wanna tell me anything?"
Stepping out of the shower and texting him back you don't really know what to say because you cant tell Nick that his brother gave you hickeys in the bathroom, and was praising you about the way you looked in the bathing suit that Nick got you. So you just reply with a simple "I don't know why he is like that. Idk why you are asking me?"
"I DONT KNOW Y/N. MAYBE BECAUSE YOU WALKED INTO MY ROOM WITH HICKEYS WHEN YOU CAME TO SAY BYE! GIRL AND YOU WHERE ALL FLUSHED TOO..." Nick quickly responds to your lame excuse for a lie. "and after you left I came down stairs to see Matt talking to Chris and you'll be happy to know it was about you."
Walking into your room now blushing from embarrassment and the fact that Matt was talking about me, I try to come up with a good reply to send Nick but I really can't think of any before another text pops up on my phone. It's Chris, the message is not what you expected "Matt only seems to be talking about you btw, and he's really blushing... what did you do with my brother y/n?"
Not know what to say to either of the brothers you decide to tell them some. How Matt said that you looked good in the bikini that Nick gave to you and that you should like it because it made your body look good. But you didn't tell them how he gave you the hickeys and how he left you sexually frustrated and having to deal with it on your own in the shower before they wanted to start blowing up your phone.
Nick is now blowing up your phone even more than before. Asking you to tell him everything because he knows who gave you the hickeys. "Tell me everything y/n! But not to much... that's still my brother you're talking about." So I go on to tell him everything, still in my towel.
~~
Now you are fully dressed, between texting them and trying to get dressed you've lost track of how this even all happened. Deciding to text Matt to ask him what the fuck just happened, your phone pings in your hand. Rolling your eyes you open the text and smile a little when you see it is from Matt. "Im coming over, be there in 5." You didn't expect him to be this up front and out of no where with this type of text.
"Ok.. front door is unlocked just come in." You text him back. Now you're rushing around your house to straighten it up, first your living room, then your room and bathroom. Running around your house going from room to room. Changing into your nice pajamas you go to the kitchen to get a snack. Then you hear the door open. Thinking to yourself that 5 minutes went by really quick.
"y/n?" you hear Matt say from the door.
"In the kitchen!" You say loud enough for him to hear but making sure to yell.
You hear Matt start to walk over to you. Feeling his presence behind you, you turn around to face him now. "Hey." He's standing over top of you, close enough to you to feel the heat coming through his clothes onto your body.
You can feel the tension building "Hi" You say just above a whisper. Not wanting to ruin this little moment
"What are you making?" He questions.
"I was just getting a snack before I headed back to my room to watch a movie, but you text me so I didn't go back to my room." You slightly ramble trying to make up and excuse to figure out why he is here.
"Sorry, I can leave if you had plans to do something." He pauses for a moment. "They were just really starting to get on my nerves." Referring to his brothers makes you think back to the text messages you were getting not even 45 minutes ago.
"Matt, you can stay." You say stopping him before he starts to ramble on.
"You sure?" He ask just trying to be nice but now you feel like this conversation is started in drag on.
Taking Matt's hand you lead him to your room. Going to your bed you flop down with the bag of chips in your hand. Matt is now looking at you standing 5 feet away from the bed. Patting the spot next to you inviting Matt to come and sit, he does.
"What movie you wanna watch?" Trying to ignore the throbbing that is going on in-between your legs now.
"Its up to you honestly, whatever movie you planned on watching before I came over." Matt say.
"Oh, ok then." you say a little surprise about what he said because he always wants to pick the movies or he's doesn't really get into them. So putting on your cheesy romance movie you scoot closer to him so he can have some chips as well. Feeling Matt flinch when your thighs meet sends tingles up your back for some reason.
~~
About 45 minutes into the movie you feel someone looking at you. You know who it is but you still decide you look over at Matt. When you eyes meet he doesn't look away, instead he crashes his lips onto yours. Your eyes go wide for a moment defiantly not expecting him to kiss you like that. Kissing him back your hand finds its way to the back of his neck, pulling lightly on the hair at the base of it.
This makes Matt moan into the kiss, sending shivers down your throat. Taking this as your chance to move so now your straddling him. Feeling is hard on under you, you pull away. "This okay?" You ask before slowly moving your hand down his chest down to his dick. Never breaking eye contact with him as he nods his head yes and pulls his bottom lip in-between his teeth.
Your now palming him through his pants. A moan escapes his lips making you clench around nothings. Watching as his eyebrows push together you slide your whole body down, so now your face is level with his dick. Unbuckling his pants you look up at him asking him for permission with your eyes. He nods yes again. You continue to unclothe his lower half until his dick springs up out of his boxers.
Your eyes get big when you see how big he really is. You have heard rumors about his size but you thought that people were over exaggerating, but you were wrong. Looking back and forth between his eyes and his dick.
His tip is red and leaking pre cum just from you touching him in his pants. Puckering your lips together you let a little drop of saliva fall on his tip. This action making him whimper and head fall back. Slowly bringing your thumb up to the slit you slide the saliva down the length starting to pump him a bit before taking his tip into your mouth.
Matts hands go right to your hair when you fully take him in your mouth gaging a bit when he pushes your head down by mistake. "K-keep go-going." He moans out when you hollow out your cheeks. Humming before you pull off of him. Matt letting out a despite cry when you do this makes you giggle a bit.
"Dont worry Matt, you'll get there." You say before grabbing his hand and bringing it down towards your heat, and where you needed him the most. Moaning when he slightly touches you through your panties.
"Can I touch you y/n?" He ask making sure its ok even tho you moved his hand there.
"Yes Matt, pl-please touch me" your practically begging to have his fingers in you at this point.
With this Matt moves you onto your back so that he is now over top of you. Pulling you panties and tiny shorts down throwing them somewhere on the floor. He brings his fingers to your clit moving them fast making you arch your back and start moaning his name.
You feel Matts finger suddenly insert into you causing you to moan his name. "Ma-matt k-keep going. Pl-please." Begging him to let you cum. His fingers move faster as he is trying to get you to your high.
"There you go. Come on, cum for me y/n" Feeling the coil snap as you cum around his fingers. Moaning nonsense as you come down from your high.
You wanted nothing more for Matt to be inside of you right now. "Matt?" you whisper
"Yeah?" He says in-between kissing your neck.
"Im ready, can we.." You trail off but Matt knows exactly what you mean as he pulls his shirt off and helps you with yours.
"You sure?" He ask again.
"Yes, just please, I need you Matt." begging for him to be inside of you once again.
With this Matt Slowing starts to play with your entrance with his tip. Slowly he starts to slide into you. At first its painful due to the sheer size of him but slowly it turns into pleasure. Once he bottoms out your both whispering messes, feeling his fill you so much. He fills you more than anyone ever has before.
Trying to rock your hips against his he takes this as a sign to start moving. Thrusting into you Matt groans as he starts to move faster. Your hands find his hair and tug lightly. Moaning his name and other nonsense of sounds coming out of your mouth.
Feeling close to a second high you squeeze around him. "Matt, Im close." You manage to get.
"Me to princess."
The word princess is enough to make you cum all over Matt dick. Moaning as he is still pounding into you chasing his own high. The stimulation is becoming to much as you try to pull away, but Matt's strong grip on your waist hold you down onto the bed. "Matt, cum inside of me."
With your word Matt is cumming within seconds. Falling on top of you catching his breath as you catch yours. Lifting his head Matt plants small kisses all over your face. Pulling out of you, you whimper with the loss of him being inside of you.
Once you two have both catch your breath, you finally decide to ask the question that's been killing you since he text you. "Matt? Why did you even come over here in the first place?"
He rolls over to face you. "To be honest y/n.. I really couldn't stop thinking about you, and Nick saw the hickeys and wouldn't stop bothering me about them because we went to the bathroom at the same time."
"I mean, you did give me the hickeys. Hes not wrong about that." you say with a giggle.
Planting a kiss on your lips Matt gets up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom. Coming back out with a damp washcloth in his hand to help clean you up. Smiling to yourself as you watch Matt pick up the clothes and throw them into your dirty clothes bin.
"Can I spend the night with you?"
"Of course Matt."
~~
After a little while you and Matt decide to watch a movie, falling asleep not to far into it. Tangled up in each other's arms, not a care in the world.
~~
Walking up to giggles in your room, you are met with a camera in your face with Nick and Chris behind it. Putting your hand up to block it you roll over and snuggle back into Matt's chest, giving Nick and Chris the finger at the same time.
Matt is awake not even two minutes after you are. Now whisper yelling at his brothers to get out so you can get dressed. This causes them so shout and whistle at Matt as they walk out of the room.
After you and Matt gets changed, Matt walks out of the room to go and talk to his brothers. You have no idea what he is saying to them so you have no choice to sit and wait for him to come back.
About five minutes go by when you hear Chris yelling your name. "YOU AND Y/N!" Now really curious about what is going on you quietly walk out of your room and peep your head around the corner.
You see Matt smiling blushing like crazy, Chris is still shocked at the fact his brother made a move on you, and Nick is sitting there fake gagging while giving his brother a high five for making a move.
You see Matt starting to walk back so you go to turn around and go back into your room like you've been there the whole time. "Where are you going to miss y/n?" You stop in your tracks and turn on your heel.
"No where.." You say with a slight smile which gives away your lie.
Matt grabs your hand pulls you closer to him. "y/n, y/l/n... Will you be my girlfriend?" You gasp at what Matt just said. Wiping your eyes you nod your head yes
"Yes, yes! A million times yes!" you say throwing your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss.
Gagging is coming from the next room. Nick... of course he is gagging at us. Running over and hugging Nick you thank him for the bathing suit that just got you a boyfriend and sex. Gagging in response he hugs you back.
"Hey! I pushed him to go into the bathroom with you..." Chris says feeling left out. You go over to him and whisper in his ear. "Did you also tell him to leave me high and dry in there?" backing away from him he's smiling. Hitting him on the arm "You're such an ass"
You feel hands grab your waist now. You turn around a meet Matt, giving him a quick kiss, and earning a gag from Nick. You say bye to the boys and walk out to the car with them. "Bye, Ill be over tomorrow."
"Okay" Matt says with a cheeky smile, winking at you.
"Bye y/n, see you tomorrow." Both Nick and Chris say at the same time.
Watching Matt pull out of the driveway you smile to yourself, thinking about how lucky you got to have Matt in your life.
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AN pt2: This literally took me so long to write and idky but I hope you like it. This is my first time writing smut so Im not sure how I feel about writing it yet so bare with me.. anyway I hope you liked this. OKAY BYE<3
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sulfies · 18 days
Note
can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️
Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)
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He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)
not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.
I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)
He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.
Small history lesson:
- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)
-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.
Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training
He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)
He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D
For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?
He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)
History lesson 2:
-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.
-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.
-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)
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there is many gay ass poems ^
He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)
Him about others:
Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio
Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.
Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…
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Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.
Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol
Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.
sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:
-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts
-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced
-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)
-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop
-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p
- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….
for the girlies
-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p
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