#i don't actually like tom cruise so this is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sivyera · 7 months

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DATING MALE CELEBRITIES WOULD INCLUDE...

ft. tyler hoechlin, jacob elordi, tom cruise, jeremy sumpter, robert pattinson, cillian murphy, henry cavill, tom hardy, sam worthington, tom felton, rupert grint

a/n: i was focused on actors that doesn't get much attention but if you have any other celebrity in mind, please let me know in the comments! also i don't know if this is good because i included their favourite things, hobbies etc (with you ofc) just to make it more detailed and not boring... so i hope you guys like it:) if you want more detailed fic or just about one celebrity, let me know!

༻♛༺

⤷ Tyler Hoechlin

-Tyler writes you love letters. Pretty often. When he cannot be with you or is busy with his job, he'll sit down at night when he's alone and write you a letter about how much he misses you, how he's doing and about his job.

-Tyler loves sports, mostly baseball. So he'll take you with him to play baseball; he doesn't care if you don't know how, he will be happy when you just throw a ball to him. He'll take you to hockey matching or ice skating, if you don't know how to ice skate, don't worry he'll gladly teach you.

-He can talk a bit Spanish so he'll sometimes call you by Spanish pet names like cariño, mi amor or querida. And he'll be all cheesy about it which makes you laugh but it's also really sweet when he does that.

-Tyler loves his family so he was a bit nervous when he first introduced you to them, because their opinion mattered to him but he also loved you. But his nervousness disappear right after you and his family clicked. His family loves you which makes Tyler so happy.

-He plays guitar so he often plays to you. He loves how your eyes light up when he plays, he just loves making you happy and if he's making you happy by playing on his guitar, he'll gladly play all day.

-Tyler also loves traveling so when he has a week off, he takes you somewhere to the forest camping or to the ocean to relax, depends where you wanna go.

⤷ Jacob Elordi

-Jacob would post you on his instagram like ALL THE TIME. On his stories or just regular post because he loves to show you of. He will also post the most random photos of you that you didn't even know he took. But he loves every single one of them.

-Because of his role on 'the kissing booth' he learned how to drive a motorcycle so sometimes he takes you for a ride, it makes the both of you feel so free and you are with each other.

-No surprise that Jacob loves sports. His most favourite are basketball and surfing. Which means he takes you to play basketball with him or watch him how he plays with his friends, cheering for him ofc. When it comes to surfing he'll gladly teach you but again he prefers when you cheer for him or just watch him after that you two will have a playful fight in water.

-Jacob is a huge cuddle bug and he just loves when you lay on his chest so he can wrap his big arms around your tiny figure. When he cannot cuddle with you he will have one of his arms on your shoulder or around your waist.

-Jacob is actually a fan of poetry so you often find him reading it, but he will be over the moon if you read him his favourite poetries. You two will also have deep conversations about the true meanings of the poetries.

-He's a huge dog lover so it will be no surprise of you two get a dog, maybe two.

-He will get your name tattooed on his chest close to his heart. And you two will get matching tattooes.

⤷ Tom Cruise

-Tom loves skydiving which makes you a bit worried all the time since it's a extreme sport but if you are also a fan of extreme sports than he'll take you with him.

-Tom likes junk food like chips, fries, coca-cola etc. so you two have almost everything that comes to your mind at home. When you two watch a movie and cuddle on the sofa, he always has some chips or popcorn.

-He loves when you read to him and he really appreciate it because he loves hearing your voice and he has dyslexia which makes it hard for him to read. He usually lays on your chest while you read to him and play with his hair.

-He's a pilot and he own several aircraft so when you need to relax and he needs to take a break from his job, you just get into one of them and fly wherever you two wants.

-Tom loves under water scenes, which makes him love water. Like I said when you two needs to take a break from work and the fame, you fly in is aircraft somewhere and the 'somewhere' it's mostly somewhere where is hot weather or beach or ocean/sea.

-Tom is famous for doing all of his stunts because he's a adrenaline junky but it makes you sometimes worried because it can be dangerous. He always make sure that after a stunt he goes to you, tells you he's okay and kiss you.

⤷ Jeremy Sumpter

-Jeremy loves traveling and his favourite color is green, which leads you two take a trip to the forest, pretty often. Just walking around, listening to the singing birds, holding each others hands and having silly or deep conversation, depends on the day and mood.

-Jeremy is a dog lover. He has a dog named Bear and he takes him on the trips to the forest you two go. Bear absolutely loves you which makes Jeremy happy.

-He loves your cooking but he himself is a bad cook so he either helps you, but you have to give him detailed informations or he just hugs you from behind and watch you cook. If you make his favourite food he will be the happiest man alive, his favourite food are spaghetti.

-Jeremy also loves sport and to his favourite ones belongs baseball and soccer. He used to play them when he was a kid so his mom shows you some of his photos where he is in a dress or something. He also takes you on matches and explains you all the rules.

-He also loves water and swimming, so when you two goes on some vacation is usually somewhere to the ocean.

-Jeremy loves the movie called 'The Deer Hunter' so you two watch it like all the time while cuddling on the sofa or bed. His face in your neck, his arms around your waist and your hand playing with his blond curls.

⤷ Robert Pattinson

-Robert is a music lover, he wrote few songs and he can also sing pretty well so it was no surprise when he wrote a song about you, then sing it to you while playing on the piano.

-He's fluent in French so when he's feeling extra romantic or just in a playful mood, he will talk to you in French or call you by some French pet names like Mon amour or Mon chéri, otherwise he calls you darling, my love or baby.

-Robert loves cooking and when is it with you, he's even more happy to do it. Sometimes when you are exhausted from job, he'll prepare you a nice dinner and visa verse.

-You two watch war, drama or horror movies together. For example 'The Exorcist' or 'Come and See' are the type of movies you two watch together, because he's a fan of paranormal same as you, which leads to deep conversations. Rob is hugging you from behind while still laying down on your shared bed. Him kissing the back of your head once in a while.

-Robert is a dog lover, he always helps the homeless dogs but he can never keep them. You two will soon get a dog and it will be one of the best decisions Rob could ever make (the first, best one was to start dating you).

-Rob is literature fan which means picnic dates. You two somewhere private, laying on a picnic blanket with some homemade food, reading books and then having deep conversations about them.

⤷ Cillian Murphy

-Cillian also loves music so it will be no surprise if he will made a song about you and he'll gladly sing it to you. He didn't write you just a one song, you have a full album of his songs that he gave you.

-At nights were you have a trouble to fall asleep, he will read to you. He will read you another chapter of your favourite book or poems he wrote (they are often about you). After he's done reading, he'll hug you tight with your head placed on his chest, rubbing small circles on your back with kiss on your forehead.

-Cillian is also a big fan of literature and he loves when you give him recommendations. He doesn't care what genre the book is (detective, romance, horror,...) if you recommended it to him, he will read it.

-You two end up getting a dog or a cat, maybe both. Because Cillian is an animal lover, you will do most of the job around the dog/cat because Cillian is often really busy but he'll always make a time for you.. and the dog/cat.

-He's big fan of a Liverpool football club so you two will often be seen on their games with matching t-shirts and caps.

-His favourite part of the day will be night (or every day time he can spend with you) because he can read to you, have you in his arms, cuddled up to his chest while placing soft kisses on your forehead, cheek, lips, neck (any part he can reach)

⤷ Henry Cavill

-Henry, to your surprise, loves playing games on his PC. When he plays he'll have you sat on his lap with his arms idly wrapped around you while still having his hands on the controller/mouse. From time to time he'll kiss any part of your skin he can reach (cheek, neck,..).

-He rides a motorcycle and he loves when you wanna ride with him. Your arms wrapped around his waist while just riding around with no care in the world.

-Henry can speak a bit of Italian, French and Spanish and if you will help him to get better in those languages, he'll be so grateful. But this 'learning dates' you two have never goes as you planned, because he is always distracted by your beauty.

-He also loves cooking so if you had a bad day, Henry is already waiting at your house with dinner and fresh flowers.And for dessert, a warm bath with soft kisses all over your face.

-Henry can ride a horse so one of his ideas for date is a picnic at beautiful meadow but getting there on horses. If you can't ride a horse that's fine, you will sat behind him, if you can ride a horse maybe you two will even race who's gonna be there first.

-He loves cuddling you, because you feel so small in his big arms. He loves having his arms wrapped around you because it makes him feel like he's protecting you but when you stroke his hair he absolutely melts into you.

⤷ Tom Hardy

-Tom LOVES motorcycles. And he LOVES you, which means that you and him are often seen by paparazzi on his motorcycle either just for a simple ride or with packed things ready to sleep somewhere in the woods in tent or something similar.

-Tom loves challenges, so on these trips on his motorcycle, he makes sure there are some adrenaline, challenging stuff like jumping off of a cliff to clear cold water.

-Going into the gym together, watching him workout OR workout with him, but if you do work out with him he'll make sure to have easier workout with you because he's much stronger than you and he doesn't want you to hurt yourself.

-Tom loves reading comic books and he has one special comic book with Venom placed in the living room.

-He has a dog named Woody and when he's busy with acting, you will watch after him. Taking him out for walks, cuddling with him, playing with him and when he comes back and makes time for you and Woody, he'll make it up to the both of you.

-Tom has many tattoos all over his body so it's no surprise when one night when you two were making out you find out that he had you name tattooed on his lower belly near to his dick.

⤷ Sam Worthington

-Sam loves rock climbing for two main reasons, it's a excellent way how to relieve stress (besides spending time with you) and he can show off his back muscles, because he knows you love it.

-He's a lover of extreme sports so you can often be a bit worried that something can happen to him, but he always calms you down a bit with a kiss on your forehead. If you wanna try some of extreme sports with him, he'll be so happy.

-He's also a nature lover so trips are usually somewhere quiet and in nature, forest, meadow,... he loves going on trips with you because you two can be alone in peace and he can have you all to himself.

-He's an australian so it's no surprise he loves surfing. If you never tried it he will teach you but he won't be much focused on teaching, he's focused more on you and your beauty.

-Sam loves music AND he can play on the guitar and drums. He will take the guitar on the trips you two have, playing some songs you love on the guitar to you at the campfire.

-He also draws a lot. Many of his drawings are you or for you or of your favourite things. Please don't mind him, he just loves everything about you.

⤷ Tom Felton

-Everyone knows that Tom never left the Harry Potter fandom and you love Harry Potter as well, so it wasn't surprise when Tom posted you and him in a Harry Potter merch (him in Slytherin colors and you in your own house colors) on his instagram.

-He has a dog named Willow so his wallpaper is you holding Willow in your arms with Harry Potter merch on you (Willow has his Slytherin scarf and you have his Slytherin sweatsthirt)

-Again Tom as many other actors, loves music. He writes songs, sings, plays on a guitar. Many of his songs includes you and Willow, your relationship or his emotions.

-He will have your name tattooed near to his collarbone with a little heart next to it.

-Tom will show off his skills on his skateboard. He can skate pretty well and he's always so smiley and happy when you compliment him. If you ask, he'll also teach you few basic tricks but prepare for some bruises from all the falls, he'll kiss you as many times as much bruises you will have.

-Tom loves when you give him back massages, doesn't matter if you massage him with some fancy oils and with you palms stroking up and down on his back with some gentle rubbs or he can lay on your chest and you can scratch his back with you nails.

⤷ Rupert Grint

-Rupert loves ice cream and at one time he bought a ice cream van and gave ice cream to all the actors from Harry Potter with you helping him. He'll often take you on a ice cream date or will cuddle you while watching movies and eating ice cream.

-One of his favourite actors is Jim Carrey, which means you two often watch movies where he played and you somehow managed to get him a autograph form Jim, which made him incredibly happy you can't even imagine.

-If you two are not watching movies with Jim Carrey then definitely MCU movies, because he's a fan of marvel.

-Rupert love Artic Monkeys so when you two bake together there is always one of their songs playing softly in the background. He will often mumble the lyrics without realizing and if you point it out, he'll blush.

-Rupert is a dog lover so you two often visit nearest shelters and play with the dogs there. Rupert and you fell in love with one of the dogs, dalmatian named Teddy, so you adopted him. After a year you bought another dog but this time not from a shelter but from a verified seller.

-He loves photographing and his favourite things to photograph is you and your dogs, no wonder that there are so many pictures of you two or the dogs around the house, but he keeps his favourite besides him on his night table.

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bo0tleg · 3 months

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GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING TOP GUN (1986) FOR THE FIRST TIME:

"Look at those thighs! He's gotta be sitting on a dick, there ain't no way!" (about a random engineer in the opening sequence)

"This guy is too handsome to be a rando" (it was, indeed, a rando)

"Fifteen minutes in and I have no idea who the protagonist is." "Do you know what Tom Cruise looks like?" ".... No."

*Thought Cougar was gonna be the protagonist, was confused as hell when he left*

"The baldo is boring, but I think were gonna keep seeing him throughout the movie." "No, we're not." "We're not? Oh, thank god."

"Whoop, spotted the gay one. That wasn't even hard."

"That guy (Chipper) looks russian." "Nope." "No? What about that one (Slider)?" "It's the middle of the Cold War." "..... So?"

"A gay couple already? Wow."

"The blondie is trying to flirt while the other one is too concentrated on the rivalry."

"OH HELL NAH."

"Every old movie just feels the need for random straight romance– OH SHIT THAT'S HER? HE'S SO FUCKED." (In the scene where Charlie is 'officially' introduced)

"HOLD UP!" *Rewinds the scene* "What kind of flirting is that?" *Plays the scene again* "Did he just... Chomp? At him?"

"He has chemistry with her, but she doesn't want any chemistry with him. I mean, I can see she's attracted to him, but I think she just wants a quick lay." (Repeated this Every. Single. Time. Maverick and Charlie had a scene together.)

"Ah yes, the hetero scene that actually looks really gay." Later, remembering the scene: "How the fuck are you gonna play sports looking like a hot piece of ass without looking gay? You're not supposed to be hot! You're supposed to slap that fucking ball, not be like 'hahaha look at me, I'm so dainty and pretty.' THAT'S GAY!"

"It's cute, Goose treats him like a father would." "Don't you mean an older brother?" "No, he's too gentle for that. They'd be killing each other."

"See, Goose's wife treats him like an older sister would. By annoying him."

Charlie, on screen: "(...) Because I've fallen in love with you." "NO YOU FUCKING HAVEN'T, SHE'S JUST SAYING THAT FOR HIM TO STAY! SHE'S JUST SAYING WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR TO KEEP HIM THERE!"

*Loud disgruntled noises I could hear from the kitchen over the sex scene*

"That's the one with the hard on!"

"I want more scenes of the blondie (Ice) and Maverick, I don't care about fucking planes."

"Did he die? Oh, no he's fine, the chute is there. Wait, he did die? NO!"

"Did he really need to be in his underwear for this conversation?"

"How cute, he's worried about Mavericks mental health. Shit."

*Screams*

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT? SHE LEFT YOU AFTER YOUR BEST FRIEND DIED!" "And put on a song that reminds him of his parents." "AND PUT ON A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR DEAD PARENTS!"

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wasawattpadkid · 1 year

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Housewife

Part - 7

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating,

Part 1

It was the sleepover you never had. Although there was no pillow fights and a little too much Tom Cruise, you had the best time you've had in a while. "God you sound like Billy." Sydney laid back in her bed toying with her hair nervously. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be hateful. It's not just scary movies either, you haven't seen any classics?" Tatum snickered throwing her stuffed animal in the air, catching it as it fell back down. "Well you haven't seen any new movies. It's like for the past 6 years you've been locked in grandmas basement."

"Maybe you're right." You sat on the floor organizing your bag. "Do you have any songs or movies you like that your dad or someone else in your family doesn't like?" Sydney asked genuinely curious. You thought about it for a second but your silence answered the question for them. "You've been totally brainwashed babe." Tatum quipped in a way that made you feel a little ashamed. "Y/n there's nothing wrong with liking the things you do, but you should be doing it because you like it and not because someone else does."

"Yeah you need to take notes from Syd here. She is thee feminist. Billy and her have been dating for over a year and she still hasn't slept with him." The brown haired girl looked upset at her friend's honesty. "What'd I say wrong? I wish I could do what you do. I know If I left Stu to his own devices he would just find someone else to help him out." You looked to the floor ready to throw up at a moments notice. That's what this was. You weren't special. Billy took an interest in you because he thought you would put out unlike his girlfriend. "Y/n?"

"I should break up with my boyfriend." You said flatly, all the moisture from your mouth disappeared at the realization. "Huh?" Sydney asked confused by the switch up but Tatum however was your number one cheerleader. "Hell yeah kick that bastard to the curb! What did he do?" Dylan wasn't even that good of a boyfriend back home you weren't sure why he wanted to keep things long distance. This whole discussion though made you want to change some things. "He still lives back home and I just really want to start over now."

You rang up your boyfriend and called it quits. The yelling on the phone was a surprise but Tatum quickly took the phone from you saying something you weren't really sure you were allowed to repeat. Sleeping in a house that wasn't your's was hard especially when you kept thinking about the two men you knew a little too well. Sunday morning was a blur, it consisted of cereal, the news going on about the murders, and school gossip. Eventually you and the girls made it back to Tatum bedroom.

"Hello you must be Y/n." The cop held out his hand for you to shake, which you did. "I'm Dewy." He said. His awkward presence was somehow comforting. "Ew dipshit don't flirt with my friends." Tatum complained making Sydney crack a smile. Red sprinkled his cheeks as he tried to defend himself. "You're fine. It's nice to meet you, Dewy. So you're a cop?" You point to the badge just trying to make conversation. "Here we go." Tatum whispered and Dewy smiled. "I'm actually a deputy." He tapped his badge with pride.

"He's just like Arnold Schwarzenegger... In kindergarten cop." Tatum made fun of him again almost making you crack a smile. "I think it's cool." He looked over at Sydney noticing her quietness. "How are you Syd?" She nodded with a fake smile. "Yesterday was hard so today has to be better." Dewy nodded. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents." Tatum's brother looked at you as he spoke. The word "grandparents" made you look up. "Oh um... Thanks." You weren't quite sure what the appropriate response to that was. "I'm going to use the bathroom." You excused yourself leaving the three of them together.

"Why would you bring that up?" Tatum scolded. "What happened to her grandparents?" Sydney asked. Dewy leaned on the door frame looking down the hallway making sure you were out of ear shot. "They committed suicide together. Both of them took a handful of sleeping pills, and she found them." The two girls felt bad hearing the information. Tatum remembered a commotion happening at the house down the street but she never knew what exactly had happened. Just that you moved in shortly after.

You walked back to the bedroom once you dried your face off from the water you threw onto your skin. "Well I've got to get going. Do you girls need anything?" He asked and everyone said no. Dewy left with a wave shutting the door behind him. "Sorry he's not very socially aware." Tatum apologized but you just nodded. "It's fine. Really." They didn't believe you but they dropped the discussion anyhow.

The day went on with Tatum doing your nails and trying on half the clothes you brought over. You offered Sydney to join in but she declined. Later on you and Sydney talked about what books you had read which Tatum was not interested in at all. It was much harder keeping them two entertained than it was with Billy and Stu. There didn't seem to be much common ground between the girls. You slept much easier than the night previous. Maybe you were finally settling in.

"Wake up girls." Tatum's mom beat on the door making everyone but Tatum jump up. You groaned as Sydney went to wake up her friend. You pulled a pair of bell-bottoms from your bag along with an old band shirt. It wasn't what you'd normally wear to school but you didn't have the time nor energy to doll yourself up. "I like the grunge look on you." You felt partially offended by Tatum's compliment because there was nothing "grunge" about your look. The outfit consisted of jeans, a shirt, no makeup, paired with hair you hadn't had the chance to fix.

"You look comfortable." Sydney chirped meaning well. Their back handed compliments made you want to crawl in a hole. You sat down with the girls in the kitchen, quickly eating breakfast before Dewy came to take you to school. You offered to just get your car but Dewy refused saying he was fine to drive. The thought about skipping the day completely had crossed your mind multiple times.

The moment the car stopped at school you said goodbye to your friends. "I've got to go grab some things from my locker I'll catch you at lunch." You didn't give them time to protest. Unfortunately for you Stu was at your locker waiting patiently for your appearance. "Yo Betty Crock- Pants?" You weren't in the mood for either one of their antics. "You look lovely today." He said like a kid with a crush. Stu swayed back and forth on his heels waiting for you to acknowledge his existence. "Did I do something wrong?" You slammed your locker shut making him jump.

"I'll take that as a yes." You turned to walk away but it never did any good with Stu. "I can't fix this if you don't tell me what's wrong." You stopped, looking at him with tears stinging your eyes. "We can't do this Stu." You pulled him to the side out of everyone's way. "You and Billy are my friends." The emphasis on friends made his heart shrink a little. "I would hope so after everything-" He tried to crack a joke to make you laugh but he didn't realize you felt like the joke was on you. "Would you just listen!" You cut him off grabbing the attention of some bystanders. You waited a moment for people to pass by before speaking.

"This cannot happen. Me, you, and Billy, can no longer happen. No more hanging out at my place, no more ambushing me in public bathrooms," He smiled at that not being able to take a single thing seriously. "No more hanging around at my locker. Tatum and Sydney are sweet girls who don't deserve what we did to them. As long as they are in the picture I'm not going to be, understand?" The bottom line was you weren't a plaything and you weren't a homewrecker. Stu however took it the way he wanted to.

"I understand. I'm sorry if we overstepped." You were ready for him to get on one knee and embarrass you into forgiving him. This was a nice change. "Thank you Stu." He smiled. "Will you still hang with us at lunch?" Damnit. "No Stu, I won't. I've got to make new friends. Since day one all I've known is you and Billy. And now that I've gotten to know Sydney and Tatum, I realized I need my own thing." The bell rung ending the conversation prematurely. "See ya Stu."

"Shit, Shit, Shit," Stu repeated the word over and over like a small prayer. He walked the halls quickly finding Billy's first period class. Stu waved like a mad man trying to get his friend's attention through the window. "May I go to the bathroom?" Billy asked already getting up from his seat. "You may Mr. Loomis." The boy wasn't too happy with the sudden distraction. "This better be good." Billy started walking towards the bathroom with Stu in tow.

"Y/n is dropping us." Billy stopped in his tracks at the confession. Calmly he took a breath saving his anger for a secluded spot. He picked of his feet once again heading towards the restroom. Stu was terrified not only of losing you but also of his friends short fuse. The moment the bathroom door was locked he exploded. "What the fuck do you mean?" Billy cursed as he pushed open each stall checking for anyone. "She said it was wrong what we were doing to Tatum and Syd and as long as they were in the picture she wasn't going to be." Billy grabbed Stu's shirt by the collar. "This shit wouldn't have happened if you didn't call Sydney the other night."

He pushed his friend backwards letting Stu's back hit the wall. "How many times do I have to tell you I didn't do it man?" Billy didn't believe him. Stu was always doing something he shouldn't be. "We'll go back to our plan. Do everything exactly the same way just a little later than we hoped." Billy breathed out thinking of how to pull this off. "Syd's mom's anniversary was Saturday."

"You think I don't know that dipshit?" He pointed in Stu's face. Running his hands through his hair he tried to calm down. "Neil killed Casey and Steve on Wednesday night. That's when he told Syd he was leaving town." Stu just nodded along listening to Billy. "With all the publicity of the murders he wasn't able to kill anyone's else so he calls his daughter Friday night."

"How does he know she's with Tatum?" Billy paced back and forth. "Neil's been stalking her because she's his next victim. He sees Syd leave his house with Tatum. Anyway he scares the shit out of his daughter Friday night laying low till Monday. Ghostface will make a guest appearance today to meet Syd. Himbry will have to close shop because of the killer. You'll tell everyone you're throwing a party to celebrate the break. Invite Syd and Tatum since Y/n is such good friends with them now she'll have to go with them."

It was like watching a genius at work. Stu really believed Billy could pull it off. "Neil kills Himbry. They went to school together back in the day it could be old revenge. At the party I'll take care of Tatum first but you'll have to send her to the garage and make sure no one goes with her." Billy looked at Stu waiting for him to promise to do his job. "Yes Sir." Billy looked at his boots piecing together the rest of the puzzle. "Neil kills Tatum after that I show up to apologize for being a shitty boyfriend. I'll take Syd up to your room that's where you'll have to "kill" me. You'll grab Sydney and bring her to the kitchen. We'll reveal everything blow her daddy's brains out and then Syd is the cherry on top of a really fucked up cake."

It was a good plan in Stu's eyes. "Where does that leave Y/n?" Billy smiled "She's going to rescue us. Neil's dead and so is his daughter. We've been stabbed left for dead but poor Y/n comes along and calls the cops helping us live to see another day. All we have to do is hit her hard enough to keep her out for awhile. Which means before I show up late I'll need you to get her alone in a room. I'll show up dressed in black and knock her unconscious. You'll go back to the party and I'll show up fashionably late."

"I could kiss you." Stu said happily throwing out his arms. "Don't make me stab you early." Billy threatened. Stu's smile dropped. "Now I'm going back to class I'll see Syd later today just keep being your bubbly self. You got that?" Stu nodded happy everything was going to work out after all.

"It was just some sick fuck having a laugh." Tatum tried to convince Sydney. "She's right Syd I mean those assholes were running up and down the hallways with masks." Sydney shook her head at you sure of what she saw. "It was him. I know it." You walked down the steps right next to your friends. "From now on you are not to be alone. You pee, I pee." Tatum added. Stu ran up spouting some gibberish giving you and the girls a flower. "Darling, I don't know what you did Sydney but on behalf of the entire student body we say thank you!"

Tatum tapped her boyfriend with the flower. "Stop it Stu." She gritted trying to tone down his behavior. "You know I say," He picked Tatum up throwing her over his shoulder. The very cute display made you advert your eyes. You didn't know why you were upset this is exactly what you asked him to do. But it still somehow felt he was going out of his way to upset you.

"Impromptu party tonight, my house. To celebrate this little scare storm, what do ya say?" You and Sydney kept walking while Stu trailed behind. "Are you serious?" Sydney questioned the insane kid. "Parents are out of town." He smacked Tatum's ass causing her to sqeek with a laugh. "If this little vixen doesn't invite the whole world we'll be fine. Mix in with the gathering, mix in with friends." He sat Tatum down letting her talk to Sydney.

You watched Stu trying hard to convince Sydney to go. "What do you say Syd? I mean Pathos could have it's perks. Y/n's never been to one of Stu's parties." Tatum said dragging you into it. "I don't really have party clothes plus what if the killer is there?" You questioned. "I'll totally protect you. Yo I am so buff, I got you covered girl." Tatum laughed at her boyfriend. Sydney whined not liking the idea at all. "I mean come on Syd. For me? It could be fun." Stu proceeded to kiss Tatum's neck bringing back all too fresh memories. "Okay, whatever." Tatum squealed.

"Nice!" Stu said "Make sure you girls bring some food when you come over." Stu left you and your friends to go run off somewhere. "I think I'm just going to head home for tonight." Sydney piped up. "No way. If I'm going you have to go." You threw your head back with a groan. "I don't even have clothes for a party." Tatum spun around. "Now that I can help with."

You raised your hand in protest. "You're not dressing me up like a prostitute." Sydney smiled knowing exactly how Tatum would've dressed you. "You're no fun." Tatum teased as you walked back to Dewy's car. Sydney looked at the ground while you and Tatum discussed what you'd wear. Something wasn't sitting right with her but she wasn't sure what it was.

(if your name has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you.)

Part 8

Taglist: @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @tojisblood @zeysartzone @bluedevilss @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @imobsessedreader @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant

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aiiviiloo · 3 months

Text

Two Truths One Lie

Smosh: Shayne Topp x Reader

WC: 1.8K

Warnings: A little bit of suggestive(looks n feelings), use of she/her pronouns, Y/N is one of the ogs in smosh, slight fluff if u squint, Y/N is kinda famous

It was a warm day in California when the team chose to make Y/n and Shayne film the video, which they both silently thanked them for. Getting sprayed with ice cold water wouldn't be as harmful with the weather.

"Are you ready to get sprayed to death?" Shayne joked while bumping his shoulder into Y/n who turned to smirk at him.

Y/n only ignored his comment and walked into the studio where Courtney, Amanda and Angela hung out in their stools beside the "game" table.

It was a little intimidating, the guns leaning against the table while a crew member filled them both up with water.

Shayne followed after Y/n into the studio and walked with her to the sound manager who mic'ed them up, connecting their microphone while the two of them clipped the small black electronics onto their clothes.

As they finished with that, the studio manager once again called everyone to their places, checking so that everyone were feeling alright.

Y/n sat down across Shayne, Courtney to her left as she looked down at the cards in front of her.

Before any filming session, Y/n always felt a shock of adrenaline pulse through her veins, as if she felt like any second, her body would explode - which it never did of course.

"And.. Action!" Emily, the director, shouted. The studio turned quiet before Shayne turned to the camera with a dramatic sigh escaping his mouth.

"Welcome, everyone, to another round of Two Truths One Lie. In this game, me and an opponent tell three statements, where two of those statements are truths and the other one a lie." Shayne explained, still in his dramatic voice.

"If my opponent, who is Y/n today, say hi Y/n." He continued

"Hello." Y/n answered shortly, smiling into the camera.

"As I said, if my opponent fails to find my lie, I get to spray her with water, but if she succesfully finds my lie, I get sprayed by her with water."

"I think I put on the wrong clothes for this." Y/n stated, looking down at her outfit, which was a knitted sweater with some grey baggy jeans.

"Atleast you look cute!" Courtney added, making Y/n and Shayne chuckle.

Amanda coughed, glaring at the pair in front of her.

"Oh, right! This is our three watchers. Courtney, Amanda and Angela." Shayne introduced the three women, making them mutter things with annoyance.

"I'm so happy to have gathered boygenius with us today." Y/n joked, making the whole studio laugh at her joke.

"Anyway, would you like to go first?" Shayne asked Y/n who nodded, clearing her throat dramatically.

"Here are my statements. First one. I have been in a relationship with Jeanette McCurdy for an event." Y/n began, making Amanda chuckle a short laugh at the first statement.

"I have kissed Tom Cruise, on the mouth." Shayne's eyes widened at this, not at all ready for this.

"I was in a marching band in Japan when I was fifteen." Y/n said her last statement with a small smile while Shayne stared at Y/n mysteriously, trying to figure out which one is the truth.

"Okay, first statement. When and where was it?" Shayne asked as Y/n put her card down.

"It was at an event, some Nickelodeon event. I don't remember the year but I remember we were talking and I asked if for a joke we should fake a relationship for the whole event and she agreed. Really nice person she is!" Y/n explained while keeping a straight face.

Shayne nodded.

"And the next one? That seems like such a lie but if it's not I'm so jealous of you." He joked, making the trio beside him chuckle.

"Okay, so I got booked into an actual move not too long ago, no clue who was my love interest or anything, but when I arrived to the "love" scenes, there Tom Cruise was. I think it was about seven years ago or so."

The studio was quiet, everyone actually intrigued to hear the whole story, even the trio sat quietly.

"Wow, and do you remember the kiss?" Shayne sarcastically asked, but he actually wanted to know.

"I do, it was a great kiss. I was a nervous wreck but he was so calm and collected and just a nice co-worker to work with." Y/n answered with a soft smile on her face.

"And the third one?"

"As many of you know, I've lived in Japan with my family for a part of my life. And some of you know I also play the clarinet, well played, and I wanted to play it in a marching band so I joined one." Y/n explained, quite easily.

"I think I know the lie." Shayne said quickly with a smirk while Y/n only sat with a soft smile on her face.

"It's the second one, the Tom Cruise one." He continued and Y/n sighed, looking down at the table.

But she quickly grabbed the water gun and sprayed Shayne in the chest with the ice cold water.

"WHAT!?!?!?" Angela shouted while Shayne sat in shock.

"You've actually kissed Tom Cruise?" He asked, eyes wide as he laughed in just pure shock.

"I have! It was some movie, I don't remember but I was the love-interest." Y/n chuckled while putting her gun down, letting it lean against the table.

"Wait so which one was the lie?" Shayne asked, making Y/n smile.

"The marching band one. I moved to Japan when I was fifteen but joined the marching band when I was eightteen because they had an age restriction." Y/n told the group who all made 'aah' noises as an understanding.

"Alright, so my turn. I have eaten a whole tarantula on camera. I have eaten a bull penis on camera. I have eaten surströmming on camera." Shayne said quickly.

"Okay, I know one of these 100%. You did eat a tarantula. It was on Mythical Kitchen. I was there with you but I chickened out and never ate the spider but you did." Y/n thought outloud, looking directly into Shayne's eyes.

Shayne chuckled and smiled, knowing that Y/n was right with that, they both were there.

"Ah, shit. I wasn't on the filming day of the surströmming. I remember it was you and Noah and his two brothers. Shit." Y/n muttered and sighed.

"I think the bull penis one is the lie. You must've eaten some piece of surströmming that day, your fingers smelt like shit after that I remember that." She claimed, making Shayne laugh.

"Are you sure?" Shayne checked with her and she nodded.

"I'm sorry Y/n, but you are very wrong-"

"Shit! No- No please, spare me!" Y/n began shouting as she watched Shayne pull the gun up from his side.

"LET ME TAKE OFF MY SWEATER FIRST PLEASE!" She continued yelling as everyone else laughed their asses off at her reaction.

Shayne let her take her sweater off and so she did.

Y/n unclipped her mic and pulled her sweater off, her t-shirt slightly following with but with the help of Courtney who held the shirt down, she threw the sweater away to the side.

While all of this was happening, Shayne felt his ears turn slightly pink at the sight of Y/n's stomach and a small part of her ribcage.

What was going on with him? He thought, blinking his quiet suggestive thoughts away.

"Okay, I'm ready." Y/n said, now only in a tanktop.

Shayne chuckled and slowly pumped the water gun, making Y/n nervous.

"Shayne! Just do i-" Y/n got interrupted by Shayne shooting water against her stomach, making Y/n jerk in shock.

The studio began laughing in the scene that just happened.

"OW! MY SIX-PACK!" Y/n joked, making the studio continue laughing, even Shayne laughed, his eyes closed as he did.

The studio calmed down and Y/n and Shayne continued the game, Shayne absolutely failing the game, getting completely drenched in water.

After a shot of water was shot against Shayne, Angela began joking about something, distracting the studio and audience of what happened anywhere else.

Y/n took the chance to look at Shayne who focused on Angela.

He had a big part of his t-shirt completely soaked, and Y/n kinda thanked herself for that, because now she could see Shayne's chest.

Her eyes drifted down a little before looking back up, but now on Angela who was still talking about who know's what.

Now it was Shayne's turn to look at Y/n, her tanktop had only gotten a little soaked, only showing some parts of her bra underneath.

Shayne had to control his breathing, his hands tightly knitted together underneath the tablecloth as he felt his ears turn pink again. He had felt Y/n's stare, he wasn't gullible, and damn did it make him feel good.

They continued the game after Angela's rant and finally it ended, ending with Y/n winning quite naturally.

The cameras turned off and the pair of them walked up to the sound manager who they handed their microphones to before walking out from the studio.

"That was fun, really." Y/n began, smiling softly at Shayne who chuckled, looking down at himself.

"Yeah, sure, maybe for you." He sighed dramatically, making Y/n grin while pushing Shayne's shoulder jokingly.

"Oh, shit, I forgot my sweater. Let me go get it." Y/n remembered, running back into the studio and getting the sweater.

As she picked up her sweater, Courtney walked up to her with a small smile.

"I saw you looking at him." She blurted out, making Y/n look up at her with slight wide eyes.

"I-"

"And he was looking at you too, y'know." Courtney said while smirking as she watched Y/n's cheeks turn slightly pink.

"Okay, fine. I was looking at him, he looked hot okay." Y/n sighed, confessing to Courtney who chuckled.

"Don't tell me that, tell it to him." She said while nodding to someone behind Y/n, who turned around to see Shayne stand there with slightly tinted ears.

"Oh-" Y/n said before trying to stutter something about how she did think like that and that it was okay if he didn't feel the same.

"Y/n, would you like to go out with me?" Shayne interrupted her rambling, making her stop in her tracks.

"What?" She asked, flabbergasted.

"Would you like to go out with me?" Shayne asked again, now with a smile on his face.

"Ye-Yeah, that'd be nice." Y/n said, now also with a grin on her face as she watched Shayne nod and walk away.

"Finally! I've waited for that since you both started working here." Courtney groaned, walking away from Y/n who stood there, excitement filling her entire body.

#smosh #shayne topp #smosh shayne #shayne topp x reader #female reader #x reader #y/n #shayne topp x y/n #shayne topp smosh #shayne #courtney miller #amanda lehan canto #angela giarratana #2 truths 1 lie

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dreamescapeswriting · 8 months

Text

BTS Reaction || Your Father Is A Famous Actor

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

SEOKJIN:

Jin had been worried sick on the build-up to meeting your father, he'd been overthinking everything wondering if your father - Skeet Ulrich - was even going to like him. What if he didn't like him and stopped you from seeing one another?

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Yn talks about you all the time." Your dad said making you glare at him, but he simply hugged Jin tightly and chuckled.

"Can I get you a drink? We have some Soju in and I'm currently attempting to cook your favourite dish." Jin's mouth fell open a little as he followed your father to the kitchen, the two of them getting lost in conversation about food.

"I'm good! I don't need a drink!" You yelled out sarcastically, falling down onto the sofa and shaking your head at the two of them still talking to one another, not even noticing you weren't there.

YOONGI:

"Hi! Can we get a photo?!" Someone called out making you jump a little, you glanced at the boy and his sister and smiled a little.

"I'll take it, you can both be in the photo with him then." You suggested before the two of them stared at you confused. Yoongi smirked a little as he noticed the boy wearing a superman shirt and his sister was even holding a collector edition of the "witcher" books which gave him hints that they weren't there to see him at all.

"Oh...We meant with you." The boy said as he smiled warmly at you, you frowned a little.

"With me?" You questioned before looking at Yoongi who was taking their phone from their hands and getting the camera ready for them.

"You are Henry Cavil's daughter...Right?" You bit down on your lip before nodding and posing for an image with them, hugging the girl before they ran off back to their parents leaving you a little shocked.

"That's never happened to me before."

"It's cute," Yoongi chuckled kissing your hand as they two of you continued your trip inside of the shopping district.

HOSEOK:

"Hobi, come on. I'll show you my old room," You told your boyfriend as you took him on a tour of your old childhood home. The two of you had come home to visit your family and it was the first time he met your father and it was safe to say he was officially scared of him. Your dad had decided it was a good idea to show him the boot of the impala with all of the props from Supernatural and now your boyfriend was convinced your dad could probably get away with murder.

"I think we should stay down here. Just in case your father thinks something is going on."

"Hobi...You know he was kidding about before. Right?" You arched a brow at him but he still didn't look entirely convinced about it and you shook your head.

"Dad! You scared him!!" You yelled out, dropping your boyfriend's hand as you went to scold your father who was finding the whole thing hilarious.

"You better show him they're props!" You called out as Jensen made his way back to Hoseok, taking him back into the garage and showing that none of the items in the car could ever actually hurt someone.

NAMJOON:

In the weeks leading up to Namjoon meeting your family, you'd been so nervous that you could barely sleep but as soon as your boyfriend spoke to your boyfriend it was as though the two of them had been friends for years.

"I was wondering if I could ask you about some of the stunts you did in your last movie?" Namjoon questioned as your dad - Tom Cruise - smiled proudly and nodded, wrapping an arm around Namjoon's shoulder and taking him to his study.

"Food will be ready soon, don't stay in there too late." You called out to the two of them but your dad waved his hand at you and began to answer every question that Namjoon had ready for him. You'd had nothing to worry about when it came to them and you should have known since the two of them were very sociable people with everyone that they came into contact with.

JIMIN:

When Jimin first met your dad - George Clooney - he'd been so shy you were almost scared he'd never speak to the man on his own but you never would have seen the two of them becoming close friends. Now it was like the two of them were inseparable, you would always find them hanging out without you and even when there were family parties the two of them would go off together.

"I think I would have preferred them to hate each other," You told your mother as she let out a small laugh, handing you a glass of champagne and kissing the side of your head. You loved that they got along of course but there were times when you wanted your boyfriend to spend time with you at family gatherings instead of your father.

"It's good that they're so friendly. At least you know your father approves." She reminded you before you smiled warmly at her, watching your boyfriend and your father from a distance as they spoke in depth with one another.

TAEHYUNG:

You hadn't told Taehyung about your family because you'd wanted it to come out naturally but it appeared as though that was going to be damn near impossible. Since the two of you were both famous - or related to someone famous in your case - it was incredibly hard for you to get any alone time together which meant rumours of you both dating spread instantly.

"I don't understand it, how could they know? I was careful." Taehyung whimpered as he looked down at the magazines on your coffee table, your heart sinking as you bit down on your tongue a little.

"It wasn't you, it was me. We thought we got rid of my stalker but we were wrong," You sighed running your hand over your face while Taehyung looked at you even more confused than before.

"Let me explain-"

"Yn, I already hired my lawyer they're going to find the source of the photos and we'll have them destroyed, and then we'll have them prosecuted." Your head shot over to the front door of your home to see your father - Ryan Reynolds standing there and he was pissed.

"Dad-"

"We'll get him this time and he'll pay for what he did," He told you sternly before a giant smile took over his face and he waved at Taehyung who was still a little starstruck.

"Taehyung, this is my dad. Dad...Taehyung." The two of them shook hands before getting to work on a game plan for your stalker and how to handle the media.

JUNGKOOK:

There had to be something wrong, your boyfriend's car was in your family's driveway and you practically sprinted into the house to see your father staring at your very scared-looking boyfriend. Jungkook looked as though he was seconds away from crying,

"Dad! You told me you'd leave him until I got back!" You yelled rushing over to your boyfriend and sitting beside him but as you went to take his hand Jungkook shook his head at you.

"I asked if he was using you to get closer to us for fame, have you even done a check on him?" You glared over at your father who was now standing with his hands on his hips,

"Yes. Dad. Because Jeon Jungkook from BTS is using us to get famous." You grumbled at your dad and stared at him, his mouth falling open a little as he realised his mistake.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Your dad asked a little softer, sitting in the armchair across from you and Jungkook as you gently rubbed your boyfriend's thigh.

"With all due respect, Sir, you didn't let me get a word out," Jungkook admitted before you glared at your dad.

"Please, call me Samual." He held out his hand for him to shake and the two of them reintroduced each other to one another.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @rjsmochii @tinyoonsblog @sw33tnight @taestannie @cherrybubblesandvodka @acciocriativity @mitzwinchester @heyjiminnie @halesandy @jin-from-the-block @aerastus @namjooningelsewhere @psychosupernatural @lyoongx @royallyjjk @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @laylasbunbunny @ratherbfangirling @backintomykpopphaseagain

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leslie057 · 6 days

Text

rating things owned by nancy elizabeth wheeler

because she’s got a lot of little things. mostly they are very cute and strange little things.

starting off strong we have the prettiest tissue box in the world. 9/10, i think if i were sick it would make me feel better to have such a nice tissue box.

i’m fairly certain this is her diary beside it because her diary looks pink in the upside down version of her bedroom. so this is probably it? 11/10, i want to read it so bad. and very sweet pic with mom—7.5/10.

next up these pinstripe pants !! 10/10 i love them so much. oh and the index finger ring is there obviously, 8/10, such a consistent piece of her character.

a ribbon for being the bestest girl ever in the world. 10/10. also the card of cardinals: 6/10, probably just a christmas card or something rather than a symbol of her love for birds. but i still like it.

mr rabbit gets 11/10 for the name alone. and why does he look dead. i love him. he’s me.

descent from xanadu: QUITE LITERALLY 0/10. at first i was SO excited to cheer her on for reading a sex and drugs book at school but as it turns out? bizarre and gross. seems to go heavy on nonconsensual stuff. i snagged a free pdf and command f’d for whore and bitch. lots of results obviously (one use of c*ck crazy bitch…lovely). it seems men in this book say a lot of sexist stuff that the women pretend to hate but love which i can’t imagine is great for a teenage girl to consume. also just not sexy at all.

literally so bad, and this is not the worst of it.

sooo bad. the author was what 70 (??) writing that his female character got clinically DIAGNOSED with being a slut for every guy she comes in contact with. i know options for sexy literature were probably limited at this time but…please go check out something else. i wanna bonk her on the head with this book (paperback) and hug her. you don’t need to read this to be cool and sexually aware. moving on.

on the other side of that, the blondie calendar gives us a sense of the GOOD media she’s consuming!! a 10/10 no questions asked. we don't really get to see many of her hobbies or interests outside of investigation so this is a much appreciated detail.

of course like all good things in life the blondie calendar does get replaced. its replacement is what i will call Weird Antinaturalist Art Piece #1 seen in her room in s4. i give it a 4/10 because idk what’s going on really.

and here is a very crunchy screencap of Weird Antinaturalist Art Piece #2 from s4 which i will give a 5/10. note the boyfriend typical photography above it, for sure a 10/10.

there is also Weird Antinaturalist Art Piece #3 which gets an 8/10 because i like the composition and the piano player. where did she get this and why. interior decoration is her passion.

the sleeping bag and crochet pillow setup. 7/10. would take a cat nap here.

pluto!! 15/10, the best mickey mouse character i would say. i hope her cousin is taking good care of him.

bulletin board 10/10. i love how obvious it is that she has had this up for forever. probably a nice constant in her life.

and my favorite pic up there is this precious one. look at herrr. 5000/10.

her floral weekender bag. 6/10, i like it, but not as much as i like the speedwalk and the toss into the backseat. she was SO ready for her lab takedown road trip.

trapper keeper is a 9/10 because they probably put anything and everything on trapper keepers back in the day and yet still she chose this lovely understated hot air balloon. elegant.

tom cruise poster is 1000000/10 actually. she is so loyal to that man. actually though not a great pic of him all things considered so maybe i give it a 999999/10. (i love it so much because i know for a fact that jonathan byers works proactively to never acknowledge this poster, because he is more mature than that.) (he is not more mature than that, in fact he is a little pouty about mr cruise.)

KITTY FIGURINE. 10/10. i thought it was just in s4 but i found it on her other nightstand in s1. very very adorable. i imagine it is now one of the first things she sees in the morning (well that and her blue telephone: 8/10) which is bizarre and cute. the mixtape drawer gets a 10/10 for reasons that i don’t think i need to get into.

white fingerless gloves! 10/10. so chic for monster hunting.

black fingerless gloves from s4. hmmm 3/10, they're cool i guess but they don’t feel very nancy and the white ones are so much better. especially because you may get the splatter effect of monster blood on them in a battle scenario, which would be badass.

piggybank (with her name on the side). 2/10 unfortunately i don’t like him. he looks at me like i took out his whole pig village and i just need some quarters. also did she paint this herself? in that case, 3/10 for customization lol.

pastel underwear drawer: 10/10. her committment to the hollistic aesthetic and color palette of her room is impressive here. it was a good idea to use this drawer as a deterrence against her little brother and a money hiding place but clearly he has no manners and is a THIEF.

STRIPED SOCKS. 10/10. i realize it's hard to see because she's moving so fast (slow down he is not going anywhere) but they are indeed stripey even though i would have guessed solid white. and wow what good sleeping socks. stripes are just cozier. hope she got lots of sleep in those.

#long post #bedroom analysis #stranger things #nancywheeleredit #character analysis #nancy wheeler #karen wheeler #mike wheeler #stranger things details #jancy #< target audience #jonathan byers #jonathan x nancy #screencaps #ballet slippers necklace coming in part 2

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familyvideostevie · 6 months

Text

october thirty-first

day thirty-one: steve harrington last halloween didn’t end that well for you and steve. but this year? much better. | a no good at waiting one-shot, fluff, smut, mdni, 18+ | 2.4k detailed content warnings: fem!reader, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, thigh riding, riding, dirty talk, some aftercare-ish

“We're doing it this year, Steve.”

Your boyfriend looks unamused from behind his aviators. The sun set hours ago but he won't take them off because it “compromises his costume.”

“Jesus,” he mutters. “For real? You actually want to?” You both know Steve isn't great at saying no to you, even when it comes to going on the haunted hay ride at this year's Sara's Farm Halloween Festival. Steve only had to work the first few hours and make sure no one sustained bodily injury during the pumpkin carving contest, so now you're walking around, taking in all the fun.

You're pressed close to him — it's cold, no surprise for Indiana — and wish you had another layer on. Steve convinced you to dress in vaguely Top Gun themed clothes to honor the movie he's been obsessed with since you saw it in theaters. He's in a patched aviator jacket, jeans that hug his ass sinfully, and the stupid glasses. You've tried to look like Tom Cruise's savvy analyst girlfriend by putting on a leather jacket and red lipstick.

“We're grown ups,” you say, bumping his shoulder with yours as you approach the line for the hay ride. “We can handle it.” Robin and Eddie are working the route again and this year you're pretty sure some of the high school kids are, too. They all begged you to get Steve on it and what's love if not taking a chance every now and then to pull a fast one on your partner?

“Speak for yourself,” he mutters but allows you to tug him on to the wagon. He places his hand on your thigh automatically and does his best to look unamused but flinches when the whole thing surges forward and into the dark rows of apple trees. “I can't believe I'm doing this.”

Neither of you handle it well, truth be told. There are only a few other people on the bales in the wagon bed and you and Steve for sure scream the loudest. Your friends catch on to your presence quickly and clearly make it worse for you both, jumping out of the trees and reaching as if you pull you both to the ground. But it's fun. It's fun in the way most things that give you an adrenaline rush are — you scream and laugh in the same breath, pressing closer and closer to Steve until you're practically in his lap as the wagon rounds the final corner.

That's when you feel him hard through his pants.

“Really?” you ask. “Keep your hands to yourself, Harrington.” He scowls and tightens his grip on your hips so you don't fall when the wagon jostles side to side.

“I can't help it, honey.” You wriggle a little more and his fingertips press harder into your skin. “Stay still.”

You do not stay still. It's just too much fun to mess with him like this — something you do often in your new house. Teasing him from room to room and reveling in the thrill that he wants you. Steve always wants you.

The feeling is mutual.

When the ride finally ends you mean to tell Steve that Eddie and Robin are going to meet you so you can all hang out, but you don't get the chance. Your feet barely touch the ground after stepping off the wagon when he grabs your hand and drags you through the crowds.

“Steve,” you say incredulously. “Steve, what are you doing?” You try to keep up with his long strides so he'll hear you.

He doesn't stop until you slip around the apple bobbing and against the wall of the farm store. He crowds you against the wall, suddenly in your space, face close enough that you can count his eyelashes. His pupils are blown and his cheeks are even more flushed than they were on the hay ride.

“If you think I'm going to stand around about to cream my pants, you're insane.”

You swallow and feel his words between your legs. “Oh,” you breathe. “Okay.”

He tugs on your hand again and you're off, snaking behind the store and further into the grounds. It only takes a few more moments before you realize that he's leading you to his old loft. You laugh into the night air and Steve looks back with a boyish grin, the intensity of his gaze somewhat faded back into the comfort and ease of your relationship.

Though he doesn't live here anymore you know that Hopper hasn't gotten around to renting it out yet and Steve still has a key. “Don't trip,” he teases as he tugs you up the spiral stairs. He takes a few seconds to dig out his keys and get the right one in the lock. You want to touch him so badly you entertain jumping him on the landing but he gets the door open quickly and you stumble inside.

“Thank Christ that worked,” he mutters. The loft is empty of the things that make it Steve but the furniture is still there, including a made bed, which feels like a miracle.

“I'd fuck you in the barn,” you say. Steve wiggles his eyebrows and once again crowds you back against the door.

“Oh, yeah?” he mutters. He shoves a thigh between yours and gently tugs your head to the side so he can trail his lips up your neck. You feel his cock, somehow harder than before, and wiggle for friction. “You still know how to surprise me, bee girl.”

“Steve,” you gasp. “Don't tease.” He could quip about your actions on the hay ride, could drag it out and make you a whimpering mess here against the door by barely touching you, but he doesn't. Steve always wants you just as bad as you want him. He presses his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, cradling the back of your head as he presses you into the door.

It is not lost on you, even through your lustful haze, that this time last year you were doing the same thing. A night that changed everything, that almost broke everything had it not worked out in the end. It makes you more desperate, makes you slide your hands under his shirt to feel his skin, makes you grind harder on his thigh and swallow his moans. You almost gave this up. You almost ruined it.

Steve licks into your mouth and your tongues meet, desperate and messy and then he palms your breast, thumb swiping at your nipple and you keen.

“Bed,” you manage to say. “Bed, Steve.”

He sucks a spot on your neck for a moment more before releasing you. His hair is a mess, lips spit-slick and swollen and the way he looks at you makes your knees weak. “Come on,” he says softly. He sheds his costume as he goes, jacket and shirt and sunglasses tossed on the floor. You follow his example as he closes the curtains and shucks off his jeans.

“Are these sheets clean?” you ask, tossing your bra aside. Steve looks his fill and you let him.

“Hope so.” His eyes meet yours and for a second you're sure he's remembering last year, too. How tender it was, how he fucked you sweet and slow, how you left him.

Things get a little desperate after that.

You shed the remainder of your clothes and he sits against the headboard. You admire him like that, cock hard and already leaking, chest rising and falling as he pants though you've barely done more than kiss. You can feel how wet you are, feel the tightness in your belly just by looking at him.

“Baby,” he groans. “C'mere, please.” You crawl up the bed to him and straddle his thigh. He presses his fingers into your skin, eyes wide as you start to grind on him. You move your hips back and forth until you find a rhythm that catches your clit in a way that makes you gasp.

“Oh, god,” Steve moans. “Look at you, huh? Getting my thigh all messy, fuck.” You lean forward so he can press his face to your chest and tongue at your nipples.

Steve keeps up his filthy babble. “Barely touched you and you're so wet,” he says. “Feels good? Getting all worked up?” He pants your name over and over. “Look so pretty like this, baby, riding my thigh.”

“Wanna ride you,” you manage to say. He bounces his leg a bit and you whine. You reach down and fist his cock clumsily.

Instead of replying Steve shifts you over and lines himself up with your entrance. “You gonna be okay?” Your eyes lock. He means with the stretch, with the position. With fucking him bare. You and Steve have been doing that for a while now and you know he loves it, how he can feel every inch of you and fill you up without worry. You like it, too.

“Steve.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughs. You sink down on him and both grown in unison. The stretch comes without any pain, feels like you and Steve were made for each other, as it always does. “Holy shit,” he says, panting into your neck. “Never gonna get over this. How tight you are, how you have a perfect cunt—”

You cut him off by starting to move, a slow circle of your hips that has him choking on his words, his babble dissolving into your name and nothing else. You can feel his mushroom tip brushing the spot inside you that will have this over all too quickly, the vein along the underside of his cock that drags as you start to lift your hips. Steve does his best to help, hands firm on your thighs and meeting your movements with little thrusts of his own as he trails his lips along your chest, your clavicle, your neck.

“So beautiful,” he mutters. “So fucking good, you feel so fucking good —”

The hook in your belly pulls tighter and tighter but it's not where you need it to be. Your thighs are burning and you feel hot all over and you can hear how wet you are, hear the smack of your skin as you ride him. But it's not enough.

“I need — Steve —”

You reach down to give your clit some attention but Steve beats you to it, thumb roughly circling as you both start to move more frantically.

“I'm close,” he hisses. “I'm close, where do you want —”

“Inside,” you gasp. “Inside, please, Steve —”

He makes a noise that has your orgasm teetering on the edge, punched out and desperate. “Fuck, baby,” he says. You cling to him desperately as he shifts you, changes the position so you're on your back, legs around his hips. He fucks you hard, skin smacking, the filthy sound of your slick drowned out only be Steve's litany of your name as the hook pulls tighter and tighter.

“Let me fill you up,” he says. “Look so pretty with me dripping out of you, making a mess —”

You careen over the edge, fisting the sheets with one hand and dragging your nails down Steve's back with the other. Your eyes shut as you writhe, the waves of your climax rolling over you. You spasm around him, clenching over and over and his hips stutter and you feel him come inside you, the hot warmth coating your walls.

Your breath comes back to you as Steve flops down, still inside you, weight heavy on top of your spent body in the way he knows you like. His hand lazily trails up and down your side.

“Fuck,” he says. You laugh. The post-sex sensations set in, the gentle throb of your cunt where he's still inside you, the wetness of your inner thighs and the soreness of your muscles.

He shifts and you feel how full you are. “Made a mess,” you mutter. He presses a kiss to your temple.

“You made a mess,” he counters. “I mean, the thigh stuff?”

“Steve!” You feel shy all of a sudden.

“It was hot.” He squeezes your hip. “Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?”

He pulls out of you and the soreness stings for just a second. You feel him dripping out of you and feel hot all over again. Steve gets off the bed and heads for the bathroom. You watch him walk there, his cock shiny with you as it softens, the muscles of his legs and his back on display in the dim loft. The scars from various farming chores that you've traced hundreds of times, the skin you know every inch of. You love him. He's yours.

Steve returns from the bathroom and you try not to be self conscious about how you sit exposed on the bed. He's carrying a damp cloth.

“Spread 'em,” he says when he reaches the edge of the bed.

“Sexy,” you say, but do as he says. He snorts but gently cleans you, running the cloth along the insides of your thighs and your tender center. It's impossible not to feel a rush of affection for him as he does, this intimate act that is somewhere between sexual and not. You watch him and feel unbelievably precious in his care. He catches your eye and sees the softness, pressing his lips to your naval, your knee, but saying nothing. Sometimes you just don't need words.

“Let me pee,” you tell him when he finishes. When you return he's sprawled on the bed, boxers on. You pull on your t-shirt and nothing else and crawl up next to him, settling into his side. He drags his fingers along your back. You put your palm over his chest to feel his heartbeat.

“Better Halloween than last year,” he says lightly. The memory of that night isn't as heavy in your post-sex bliss, though it's still around. You've talked about it many times since then and it's in the past but being here reminds you a bit of the fear you felt, the frightening weight of the love you have for Steve. How it shifted your entire world.

Though you know Steve isn't serious, you sit up a little to look him in the eyes.

“I'm never leaving you,” you tell him. He looks a little surprised but recovers quickly, reaching up to cup your face and pull you down.

“I know,” he says. He kisses you gently, reverently.

“I love you,” you say against his lips. He laughs.

“I know that, too,” he says. “I love you back, bee girl.”

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here! promptober masterlist, find all fics under #fvspromptober23

#fvspromptober23 #no good at waiting #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n

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helloitstsyu · 1 year

Text

it's the tie | Tom Cruise [18+]

my masterlist

Summary : post oscar luncheon sex.

Warnings: daddy!kink, spanking, inappropriate languages, bondage, unstated age gap, prolly some typo or mistakes.

Pairing : Tom x Fem!reader

WC : 1600+

"That's a nice tie," you chuckle.

You're watching him from the doorframe for the last 3 minutes. Tom just comes back from the Oscar Luncheon. Despite he has discarded the navy suit, matching colored vest, and taken off his shoes. Tom still looks ravishing as he was earlier on the carpet.

Turning his head towards you, Tom stay composed, as if he knew you were there the whole time. He smirks. "Is that why you're staring?" He asks as he continues to untie the appealing lilac patterned tie.

There's something about his looks tonight. You've seen him donning the color navy all the time. Blue and navy are basically made for Tom. But tonight, something is different, something appeals differently to you. And your eyes keep dropping, lazer-lock, on that lilac patterned tie.

You crook your eyebrows and come to him. Replacing his hands with your smaller ones, you help him to untie the tie.

"How was the event?" You ask.

Without waiting for his answer, you lean towards his neck. The intoxicating scent of him always managed to arouse you. Placing a deep kiss on his neck, Tom relaxes and exhales deeply.

"Could be better if you were there with me," he tells.

You scoff softly. Continue to kiss his neck. Altering from a sweet soft peck, sucking gently, and nibbling his skin, you manage to have Tom's breath stalling.

"How was your meeting, honey?" He asks.

You take a glance at his emeralds. His eyes light up with excitement, "It was bad actually," you answer.

"Bad?" He repeats, "How so?" He asks with narrow eyes.

"Can't keep my mind on it. All i thought about was this..." You grin. "You in this look..., this tie." You chuckle, looking back at his eyes through your lashes, "I just wanted you all night, Tommy," you tilt your head to the side, seductively looking deeply into him.

His eyes flickers, "Yeah?" He softly graze his fingers on your shoulder. That little contact got goosebumps all over your spine already.

Sighing softly, "Yeah,"

Pulling him closer by the tie, you clash your lips on his for a hungry kiss. Stepping up from your lead, Tom dominates the kiss. Slipping his tongue inside of your mouth.

He's quick to undress you, leaving you only covered with your panties. Tom hoists you and throws you onto the bed. You squeal at the sudden movement and chuckle when you bounce on the mattress.

With a radiant look on his face, Tom takes off his tie in an instant. He climbs on top of you, "Is this what you want, darling?" He wraps the tie on his hand. That lilac patterned tie that leaves an impression on you, got you dreaming the filthiest thing while sitting on a meeting.

How can you refuse.

His eyes darken with lust, and it's apparent that he's ready to have his way for you tonight. You're grinning wide and nodding.

"Turn around, on your knees, sweetheart," Tom orders.

Being the good girl that you are, you gladly do as you're told.

Tom takes both of your hands, put them together on your back, and he ties your wrists together. Trying to test his knot, you're surprised to find what a firm knot that is.

Tom chuckles softly, "Don't try to break 'em, they'll bite," he whispers to your ear, then nibs softly on your earlobe.

"I can't touch you tonight?" You ask,

"You asked for this, darling. Now, take it and be a good girl," Tom softly pops on your ass. Your body jolts excitedly at the surprise move. Tom leans down, kissing all over your back as his fingers pressing on your still clothed cunt.

"You're drenched, sweetheart, i haven't even touched you properly yet,"

You giggle, turning your head around to see him, "It's the tie, baby,"

"Mhm, of course, it is." Tom chuckles. He finds it amusing that even an article of clothing, as simple as a tie, could get you so arouse like this. To your defense, you're dating a literal sex god. Whatever he put on, even the silliest, even a sack, could look so appealing, attractive, and sexy on him.

Tom takes off your panties. He lifts your hips, and you're back on your knees. Tom finally presses his tongue on your folds. Trailing your slit with his tongue, it grazes over your clit giving you a quick rush of pleasure before it comes back to your entrace. He teases your entrace then he enters your sweet hole with his tongue.

"Oh, fuck! Tommy..." you whimper.

"Excuse me?" Tom asks with an offended tone.

You chuckle, "Daddy," you correct yourself.

"Mhm, that's what i thought i heard," Tom grins.

Tom continues devouring you with his mouth. Fucking your cunt with his tongue.

His hand slips underneath you, reaching for your breast. Tweaking your nipple in between his fingers, he makes you moan even harder.

"Ohmygod," you moan. Face burying to the white fluffy pillow.

"Taste so fucking good," Tom mutters as he wiggles your ass to his face. Tom sucks and licks your clit. Your breath hitching in your throat, mind scattering with the pleasure he's giving you.

"Ohh fuuuckkk, daddy!" You cry out a moaning mess.

Tom slaps your ass hard. That was the first time he had ever spanked you. "Daddy!" You gasp at the stinging pleasure. The sting impact brings a new sensation of jolting pleasure. You chuckle, adoring the new sensation. "Fuck– More please," you whimper.

"More? You like that, darling?" Tom crooks his head, looking down at you as you grin happily.

"Yes! More, daddy, harder please!" You look back at him. Tom grins widely at your pleads.

Approving your pleads. He gives you another one to your other cheek. He spanks you harder. You shut your eyes and grunts.

Tom chuckles softly, watching you loving to be spanked, "Look at you, little slut,"

"More daddy,"

And another strike to your other cheek. This one stings even more because the previous one still remains.

"Ah!" You squeal then giggle.

Tom chuckles and pulls you into his lap. His hard member pressing your back side. Wanting and needing more of him, you grind down on the hard center. He kisses your lips hungrily in a burning, lustful passion. His hands grasped your breast aggressively.

"My girl," he mutters in between the hot kisses. His hands wrapping around you possesively. He's so possessive of you and you're thankful that he shows it verbally in bed. Hearing them always brings butterflies inside of you.

"My Tom," you retort.

He smiles, Tom rest his forehead on yours as his fingers softly rub your face. You chuckle softly to him, adoring how he can be both aggressive and soft. He perfectly mastered both, knowing the right time to switch between the two. He really is a true man of your dream.

With your hand on your back, you're able to slip your hand under his dress pants. Impatiently searching for his cock, Tom grins, "Darling..."

"Need you, daddy," you whispers.

Chuckling darkly, Tom pushes you back to the bed. Laying there flat on your tummy, you wait as Tom stands up and undress himself. He climbs back on the bed, on top of you. Aligning himself at your entrance, he gives your slit a few stroking teases with his head.

"Don't tease me, daddy,"

Tom laughs, "So impatient, darling,... it's my pussy, my way, yeah?"

"Your pussy?" You raise your eyebrows.

Tom chuckles, gives you no warning and push his cock all the way in inside you at once.

"OH!" You yelp.

"Mmm, that's right, my pussy," he mutters, "Say it!" Tom growls in your ear. He starts thrusting in and out of your weeping cunt.

"Y-your pussy," you whimper. "Ahh... your pussy, daddy!"

"Good girl," he whispers. Tom starts drilling into you at a mercilessly hard pace. In no time, you're already moaning his name repeatedly right now.

"FuUcK! TOM!" you exclaims.

"That's it, louder!" Tom smiles, "You're squeezing that walls around me, baby... so fucking good," he groans.

Tom holds the knot on your wrist, his other hand gripping your hips. The sound of skin slapping fills the room. The air of the bedroom feels thick and smells like sex. You're so close to spilling all over his cock.

"T-tom," you moan breathlessly.

Tom unties your hands. Quickly, he flips you around. Tom slams back his cock inside of you. Taking your legs over his shoulder, you're nearly folded in half. Tom looks feral. Sheen of sweat on his forehead and chest, skin blushing in flushed red, eyebrows furrows in pleasure, lips set apart and slipping uneven ragging breath. You can look at this face for the rest of your life.

Both of you are drowning in a pool of pleasure. Still holding that lilac tie. You wrap it around his neck, use them to pull him even closer to you.

"Cum for me," he tells you. "Cum for me, darling,"

A few more hard thrusts, you're practically screaming his name. Nails raking on his shoulders that for sure tomorrow will leave marks on him. Your walls throbbed and clenching around him, pushing him even closer to his edge.

"Oh fuck, Y/N!" Tom groans.

His seeds coat your walls. Filling you to the brim. Both of you collapsed together. Tom rests on top of you for a while, both of you panting for air.

The intense pleasure flooding inside of you. Endorphins swimming throughout your body. Heart swims in a warm feeling of love as Tom gives soft pecks all over your neck and jawline. Slowly, he pulls out of you. He looks back deeply into your eyes. Emerlad eyes lighten with post-sex happiness.

"Thank you," you mutter breathlessly.

Tom smiles, he kisses your forehead. "So... you like the tie, then?" He grins at you.

You laugh, "I love it,"

•━❪❃❫━•

Tag list : @malavera @call-sign-shark @moondustfairies @katherineswritingsblog @angelaemme @tomsf18 @whosjuliiee @lilythomasxx

#tom cruise #tom cruise x reader #tom cruise fanfiction #tom cruise smut #tom cruise fic #tom cruise x female reader #tom cruise oscar #oscarluncheon #oscars 2023 #smut #smut fanfiction

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sirfrogsworth · 1 year

Text

The Babylon Bee School of Comedy

Have you ever wanted to make Elon Musk reply to you with a double cry laughing emoji?

If you crave that sweet billionaire validation you need only follow this carefully crafted conservative comedy content creation course for that powerhouse of online satire... The Babylon Bee.

Soon you too could be bootlicking billionaire balls with the rest of The BBee writers.

Are you ready to get your learn on?

Let us Bee-gin.

The number one most important rule that all The BBee writers must internalize to their core...

Conservative comedy abhors effort.

Brainstorming for hours on end to craft the perfect premise and punchline... is for the Libs. Check out this Facebook meme that got 10,000 likes.

Can you order Starbucks from a bar? Doesn't matter, it's a snowflake drink for a snowflake Lib.

Does this joke not have an actual punchline? Doesn't matter, get lost you stupid Lib!

Is this technically a joke by definition? Doesn't matter, if you believe it is a joke, then it's a joke! Just like modern currency.

If you put too much thought into a joke, it might grow in complexity. That could be confusing! The death knell of any conservative joke are the words, "Hmm, that's a thinker."

This brings us to rule number two...

NO THINKERS!

Let's take this Ben Garrison comic as an example.

Spell everything out! Label everything! Don't leave anything to the imagination! If your audience has to figure something out or draw their own conclusions, what fun is that?

Conservatives want to hear things that are familiar. They want their beliefs parroted back at them. You must regurgitate those beliefs and then just make it *sound* like a joke. Don't break new ground or introduce new ideas. Don't get all caught up in interesting wordplay or clever puns or subverting expectations.

All expectations should be fully verted.

That is definitely a word because I saw someone use it on Facebook. End of research.

Here is a helpful tip. If you can't imagine the joke coming out of the mouth of late night comedy genius GUTFELD!, then you need to dial it back a bit. Do not surpass GUTFELD! levels of humor. GUTFELD! is your touchstone.

youtube

Oh, GUTFELD! I laughed so hard I FELD it in my GUT.

See, I went too far with my fancy pun. That is not the GUTFELD! way.

But what happens if inspiration is fleeting and you can't pay attention to your comedy writing task because you don't believe ADHD is real and thus you are unmedicated?

Don't you worry. If you do happen to get writer's block or are distracted by a funny Pepe meme or a shiny object, just call your racist uncle and say the magic word... "Bidenflation."

As the ensuing unhinged rant darts from subject to subject without any kind of connecting theme, just start writing down every right wing buzzword you hear. Then just insert those buzzwords Mad Libs-style into a derivative joke format.

Let's practice!

Ex. 1: Why did the PRONOUNS cross the BORDER? To get to the DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!

Ex. 2: How many GENDERS does it take to GROOM a lightbulb? Two! One to hold the BUTT PLUG and one to GO WOKE, GO BROKE.

Great start! I'm sure with a polishing pass those will make more sense. Or not. The bar is pretty much "will it get clicks?" so we're not too worried about coherence.

Heh... Mad Libs.

U MAD, LIBS?

Get it? Cuz Libs are always mad? About the normalized bigotry and whatnot.

Jokes are always better when you need to explain them.

Oh! That's another rule. Write that down. Wisdom like this is why I am teaching this course, of course. Hah, that's like that horse show song. I got jokes coming out the wazoo. Wazoo is my butt, right? Siri, is wazoo a butt? Oof, I'm kinda spacing on what the next lesson is.

I really wish Matt Walsh hadn't flushed my Adderall down the crapper.

Can I get a second opinion? Top Gun was so good. What does Tom Cruise think about ADHD? He always has good takes on stuff like this. Did I leave my oven on? Shazam, what song goes doodoo doo doo doooooo? Can you vacuum a yard? Has anyone tried that? That sounds more like a marijuana thought than an ADHD tangent. I should double check the THC content of that cotton candy vape juice.

I'm flyin' off the rails over here.

Matt, are you super duper sure it's not real?

Okay, fine. I'm an "energetic boy."

I hope whichever fish absorbs my meds is extra focused on whatever fish shit he needs to get done.

COMEDY WRITING!

Sometimes it is best to learn through observation. Let's eavesdrop on an actual The BBee writer's room to see how the sausage is made...

"So what did your racist uncle have to say?"

"Well, first he texted me a cameraphone picture of Trump as an astronaut that he wants me to print out cuz he doesn't know what a crypto wallet is... but then he said all the woke schools are turning kids into a bunch of gay commies."

"EUREKA!"

Classic! The BBee writers strike again. I mean, they aren't striking. There is no commie clamoring for a union at The Babylon Bee. That's for damn sure. FOCUS!

Do you get the joke though? With the kids and the gay and the communism?

Because all of those woke schools totally cover complex economic theories in 4th grade and all it takes to turn gay is a little persuasion from a teacher with green hair. Libs of TikTok wouldn't lie about that. End of research.

Look at this public school teacher!

I mean, you knooow she has a litter box in her classroom. I can just sense it. End of research.

Sure... it is just a context-free picture of a person with green hair in front of a flag and you cannot actually judge the quality of their teaching ability from this. But yoouuu knoooooow she is skipping right over grammar lessons and giving detailed instructions on how to turn gay.

Step 1: Look at a bunch of butts. Step 2: Touch a bunch of butts. Step 3: Gay sex a bunch of butts.

(Replace butts with cooches for lesbians.)

Grooming accomplished.

And you definitely shouldn't look up that green-hair'd, nose ring'd educator and research her any further. Extensive research is for the Libs, bro. Because you definitely don't want to discover she is a passionate high school English teacher who makes fun content on TikTok in the hopes that people will buy things off her wishlist so her students will have a better learning experience. I mean, caring about her students? That's so gay.

YoooOOOuuuUUU knnnooooooOOOw she is a bad teacher because she has green hair and a flag. End. Of. Research.

So... you have your gay communist headline that is perfect to get all of those sweet conservative clicks. But you still have a full webpage to fill out with more words and stuff.

Now I want to see if you learned anything from my perfectly focused and informative teachings. I want you to write some jokes about kids becoming gay communists.

Ready? GO!

Joke #1 Little Billy has wealthy parents so all the students will share his cookie at snack time.

Joke #2 At the beginning of the day, students pick a new gender out of a hat but all the kids fight over Attack Helicopter.

Joke #3 At lunch, the students have to stand in a peanut butter and jelly bread line.

Joke #4 The teacher makes the kids take turns combing each others' hair for a grooming session.

Wait a sec... are those... THINKERS?

No no no no no! You made my brain all confused and thinky!

You need to calm down, you overachieving silly billy. You forgot the first rule... NO EFFORT.

Just make the same joke over and over again with slightly different wording. EASY!

Remember the classic final rule of comedy...

Jokes always get funnier the more you repeat them.

Anyway, that's probably enough... joke.

Now let's close this article out!

Maybe we can drop the pretense this is comedic satire and just do some hardcore pandering. Gotta own the Libs, amirite?

Gender theory and drag queens and guns, oh my! That is pure pander-monium.

Just shove those factless tactless Tucker talking points straight down their gullet. They'll forget this was supposed to be funny and shake their fist in the air with exaltation. And it's definitely a great idea to put the thought of gunning down drag queens in their heads. That won't backfire in any way!

Congratulations! You are now ready to "write" for The Babylon Bee.

Please purchase this official Trump NFT certificate for $99 that acknowledges that you have completed this course and have a very poor understanding of what satire actually is.

End of research.

#long post #trigger warning #matt walsh #transphobia #homophobia #satire #babylon bee

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svltzmans · 10 months

Text

she's just not into you - r.b.

robin buckley x fem!lesbian!reader

steve has been looking at y/n y/l/n for months, to no avail. she just seems to have no interest, even with steve's kind gestures. he doesn't understand why. robin does.

a/n:

hi!! omg this is the first time i'm ever writing something like this! i hope someone sees it and likes it lol :) pls ignore any grammar mistakes i tried my best!!

"i can't believe you managed to score a date with the hottest girl in all of hawkins after my millions of failed attempts", steve remarks, his hands running through his almost-too-long coffee-colored locks. "you've seen it! she just isn't into me at all."

"well, you're not exactly tom cruise or anything", robin responds sarcastically, still lugging her trumpet case from the pep rally.

"tom cruise probably couldn't even pull y/n y/l/n anyway."

"but i could."

"don't remind me!"

the two best friends continue down the halls of hawkins high, robin's heart still pounding remembering what she had managed to pull off minutes prior.

she has a date. a real one.

with y/n y/l/n.

she feels like she'll always remember the exact moment y/n's lips lifted into a smile as she accepted her offer.

the hawkins high pep rally was one of robin's least favorite events of the year.

she loved playing the trumpet. she actually really did.

but playing it in front of her high school full of judgemental jocks and cheerleaders wasn't quite her speed.

nonetheless, she knew she would get to see y/n y/l/n in the crowd. and that made her confidently apply a little extra makeup in steve's car, despite the background noise of steve's babbling.

robin's heartbeat kicked up the second steve pulled into the hawkins high parking lot. she scanned the crowd, but caught no sight of the girl she wanted to see.

that was, until she stepped into the stuffy gym and began to ascend the bleachers.

"robin!", a familiar voice sang.

"oh, y/n! hi!"

"i'm excited to hear you play. i'll be right near the band section!"

those words make robin's stomach start to twist.

"i'll make sure to play as best as i can then!"

y/n laughs in a way that makes robin's cheeks flush a red so deep it's almost maroon.

"oh, y/n, i wanted to ask you a question actually."

oh god, it's happening.

"what's up, robin?"

it's actually happening.

"can you meet me below the bleachers at the end of the pep rally?"

robin's heart pounds while she waits for a response. sure, y/n doesn't know her plans, at least not yet. but simply the thought of her and y/n in privacy makes her feel nervous.

"yeah! i'll meet you there!"

robin simply smiles genuinely, nods, and starts the short walk to the band section of the bleachers.

the pep rally flies by in a blur. robin almost forgets the songs she has to play countless times, her mind only focused on what she wanted to say to y/n.

finally, the student population starts to file out of the gym, and robin makes her way to the bottom of the bleachers. to her surprise, y/n is already standing there, leaning against the wall.

"hey rob!"

the nickname sends a chill down robin's spine.

"y/n! you beat me here!"

"i couldn't keep the best trumpet player in hawkins waiting."

robin's face falls flush again, her hands nervously folded in front of her.

"i guess i'm okay. lots of practice."

"no, robin, you're really good at it. i know a pep rally is supposed to be about school spirit and whatever other bullshit, but i was watching you play. and trying to listen despite how loud everything was."

robin is shaken by how genuine y/n sounds. she knew y/n was kind. she had just never experienced it this personally.

she knows she can't hesitate any longer.

"y/n, do you wanna maybe go get a coffee with me tomorrow? after school?"

she had done it. she had asked one of the most coveted girls at hawkins high on a date.

countless hawkins boys had asked y/n out. robin had even witnessed some of the rejections y/n had dished out, noting the guilty look on the girl's face.

and steve was right. he had tried, quite a few different times. y/n was always kind to him, but never in a more than platonic way. he didn't understand why. had he done something wrong?

"of course i will, robs. that sounds like a lot of fun."

robin then understood why.

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #wlw

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damn-stark · 11 months

Text

Chapter 1 Who’s that girl?

Chapter 1 of Stargirl

A/N- I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!

Warning- Swearing, angst, fluff! SLOWBURN, long chapter.

Pairing- Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Episode- 2x01

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“What do you think?” He asks as he takes a bite from his burger.

What do I think? Well…dearest father, it’s the most rural place we’ve stayed at, it reeks like cow manure, there’s only one high school here for the entire town so if the desire to change schools occurs it can’t happen unless you are willing to drive me like an hour out of town…

Then again you’ve never actually went to an actual school with people your age. Since you move around a lot you’ve always been homeschooled with either your father or grandmother as your teacher, so there’s little you think you’ll complain about…maybe just lack of friends, or uh…overpopulation of assholes. Yeah, that’d be a deal breaker.

“Well,” you sigh and put your burger down. “It’s something. Uh, grandma was right, it does stink. But,” you pause and shrug whilst you meet his brown eyes. “It’s cozy. It’s quaint.”

Your dad chuckles and looks out the car window. “Quaint? Yeah, yeah. But it’s home,” he grumbles with low enthusiasm. He also wasn’t a fan of...Hawkins? Yeah that’s it, Hawkins—Even if he was the one that grew up here.

You hum and lower your sunglasses to the bridge of your nose to take a better look at all the greenery that lays ahead of you. At least that’s one of the pros of moving out here, this place is green, there’s trees everywhere, you even live by a lake! You’re used to city landscapes so trees, lake houses and small towns are like blue moons; Rare and quite beautiful.

“Are you gonna go see uncle Jim?” You ask your father and throw a fry in your mouth.

Your dad hums for a moment before he lets out a deep breath. “Yeah,” he answers hesitantly. “I’ll surprise him at work.”

You drift your gaze to the corner of your eyes and see him with his jaw clenched which never means anything good, so you don't press on that touchy subject and put away your food. “I’m too nauseous to keep eating.” You throw your head back on the headrest and groan. “Maybe I can go with you, or go organize the house?”

Your father had people go move everything in and organize everything before you got here, but going to school with so many people is upsetting your stomach, and making your heart and mind all panicky and fast moving.

“House is organized, and I’m going to work,” your dad says and blinks to meet your gaze.

“Yeah,” you huff, “a job which consists of sneaking around and talking to people.”

“Today,” he corrects you. “But still, after all that sneaking,” he mocks you. “Then it’s a lot of talking on the phone, computer shit, and filling out paper. You hate that stuff. So, you go to school, make some friends, see if any of the teachers remember me—”

“They can’t remember you if they’re dead,” you grumble and bounce your eyebrows. “You are ancient.”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Just…have fun,” he shrugs nonchalantly.

You roll your eyes and groan out dramatically so he knows you’re bugged. You then proceed to rest your arms over the open window, and rest your chin on your clasped hands to pout.

And it’s at that very moment that you look through the rear view mirror, that you catch the gleaming brown eyes of a guy with the best brown styled hair you’ve seen a guy wear. He has nice thin pink lips, he’s tall from what you can notice, and slim but not super scrawny, he’s like, perfectly built, like Tom cruise! Yeah, that’s right, he’s like a Tom cruise type, only this guy is a lot cuter.

You shouldn't have been able to notice so much in that little time he passes by, but the funniest thing is that time seemed to slow down a bit.

Albeit he was walking around with some brunette girl so he didn’t care about you.

“So you ready then?”

Maybe now that you’ll be in somewhat of a stable living condition you’ll get a boyfriend! Maybe a guy as nice looking as that guy that passed by.

“Kid?” Your dad calls out again and nudges your arm.

You snap your eyes over to him and quirk a quizzical brow. “Huh?”

He snickers. “Ready to go in? I have shit to do.”

You sigh and lift your chin off your hands to take your sunglasses off your face and put them away, even if it goes with the mini black dress, and the black knee high boots over the tights. It may be a lot for school, but…what do girls wear to school?

“Let’s go,” you mumble and hide your nerves.

Once you get inside the school it’s when the stares all direct at you, no one is shy to look away especially because your dad is walking at your side, and well you are the new girl. It makes you feel like you’re under a spotlight, or like you just got in trouble and have to be escorted to the principal. You try to ignore the wandering stares as best as you can, but they do make that knot in your stomach only feel worse.

You would’ve hooked your arm around your fathers, but you were already getting talked about and stared at so you just dig your nails on your palms and stick by your dads side the entire way to the front office. When you do reach that office, just as your dad is going to open the door for you, some guy with a blond mullet, a denim over denim outfit, and a creepy smirk holds the door open for you.

“Thank you,” you tell him.

The guy shoots you a wink and then looks you up and down before you walk past, making you scrunch your nose in disgust, and then look back at your dad with a teasing smile once the guy is gone.

“That is a guy you wanna stay away from,” your dad whispers to you.

“Were you one of those guys daddy?” You ask him.

Your dad shakes his head. “Nah, I was nerdy back then. I was picked on by the guys that looked like that. Your uncle always got in trouble ‘cause he stepped in to protect me.”

You smile softly since this is one of the rare times he talked good about his half older brother; same dad but they had different moms.

“I wonder if those same guys would pick on you now,” you retort with a smirk.

Your dad scoffs softly. “I’d like to see em try.”

“How can I help you two?” The front office lady asks, cutting off your conversation with your dad.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees and turns to face the young red head—or well she isn’t young, but she is younger than the other lady across from her. “Actually, it’s my daughter's first day of school today, I came to sign some papers.”

The lady’s eyebrows lift as she now realizes who you are. “Oh, the new senior, okay. Just a moment let me grab those papers for you now.” The lady gets out of her seat and walks to the cabinet at the other end of the room.

“Here,” your dad directs at you and turns to hand you your backpack he had been carrying. “Remember I’ll pick you up after school so don’t try to sneak off somewhere,” he says with a feigned stern tone since he really doesn’t mean it. He just likes to sound authoritative with you in front of other adults.

You playfully roll your eyes and nod stiffly. “Sure, sure.” You swing your backpack over your shoulder, but now, hoping he’d change his mind and let you stay home now, you part your lips to ask, but then the door opens and that brunette girl that was with the cute guy walks into the office alone.

She’s very pretty, and has a very prominent jaw, like the kind the celebrities have. Is she senior too?

“Here they are,” the lady returns and presses the papers on the counter for your dad to sign. “Will you be the main parent to contact, or will it be the mother?”

You look at the red headed women and then glance at your dad.

“No, no,” he chuckles and begins to fill out what was highlighted on the sheets. “It’s just me. No mom.”

The lady lowers her glasses to check out your dad and slowly sits back on her chair. “If it’s just you and her then why move all the way out in the middle of nowhere.”

Your dad shrugs. “Just wanted to give my girl a calm life, we’ve been around a lot so I, uh, wanted to give her a more simple life like how I had back in my prime.”

The lady smiles and leans forward to bat her eyelashes and show more of her cleavage to your father—She wouldn’t be the first. It’s weird, women hear that he’s a single and caring father and the ladies swoon.

He doesn’t fail to notice it either, he always likes to flirt with women this way because he says it’s the simplest trick in the book; showing he cares about his family, and showing off that he was a caring single dad. He also says that when you were a baby women would swoon and flock around him.

Do you believe that? Hardly.

“We encourage every student to take an extracular,” the lady says but keeps looking at your dad. “Here’s what we have open.” She places another piece of paper on the table and points to the top labeled ‘activities’, and then drags her pen down to mark the women’s sport section.

When you look at what they have for sports though, all the shit is lame for women.

“You should give band a try,” your dad suggests. “Play the trumpet like your old man.”

You hum and shrug. “Eh, how about women’s soccer?” You look up at him to meet his gaze. “I could try that considering there’s, like no boxing or you know stuff like that.”

“Did you come to Hawkins?” The lady interjects and pulls your fathers attention away.

“Yeah, I did, a long time ago it seems like now. I’m Rowan Hopper.” He reveals.

The lady’s eyes go wide and she has to take off her glasses to…look better?

“You’re related to Chief Hopper?” She probes with a curious look.

Your dad nods stiffly. “Yeah, he’s my older brother. Half-brother. Did you go to Hawkins?”

You roll your eyes and circle the sport you want to enter and slide the paper back to the lady. “Here,” you cut her off to continue this progress before you last here all day.

The lady blinks and drags her eyes to you and sighs before taking the paper. “Okay, I’ll tell the coach. Practice is every Tuesday and Thursday after school.”

You hum in agreement and push yourself back from the counter since you’re done.

“Here’s your schedule,” the lady says and shows off a sheet of paper with all your classes on it.

When you take it she gets up and walks around the counter to reach the same brunette girl. “This here is Nancy Wheeler, she’ll be your chaperone for the day. She’ll show you to your classes.” She feigns a smile, and you meet Nancy’s gaze to shoot her an awkward tightlipped smile.

“That’s all we need, you’re free to go, thank you,” the lady continues and now gets closer to your dad to actually grin. “Come back whenever you want, I can show you around if you’d like.”

You stifle your teasing laugh, and catch Nancy’s amused look that matches yours at the sound of the lady being so bold with your father.

“I might have to take you up on that offer,” your dad retorts with a small smile before he turns to meet your gaze. “I’ll see you later kid.”

You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. “Okay.”

He begins to back away, but first pulls his finger close to the corner of his lips, and then curves it upward to motion you to smile.

You scoff at his speechless message and offer him a tightlipped smile.

He doesn’t like that response though, so he repeats himself, causing you to sigh and offer him a sweet smile.

“Good, good,” he says and reaches the door. “I’ll see you later my dear, have a good first day.”

You offer him a small goodbye wave and a sadder look. “Bye daddy.”

Said man shoots you a smile before he turns and walks out of the office, leaving you with your guide Nancy now.

“Okay,” she cuts in and walks over to you. “I can show you to your locker, it’s right by mine.”

You look over at her and nod in comprehension before she leads you out.

It’s quiet between you and her for a few seconds. You haven’t really had many friends, or had the time to talk to anyone your age, so it’s hard to know what to talk about, but you try.

“Are you senior too?” You ask her.

Nancy steals a quick glance and shakes her head. “No, I'm a junior, but we share a lot of the same classes. And well, we don’t get many new kids here but when we do, helping them is extra credit.”

Ah a big shot. Your dad told you about people like her. He was once like her too, so you can’t say they’re terrible people, actually she's the kind of person you should be friends with.

“Ah, well, thanks anyway,” you exhale and look around at all the gawkers watching you like if you’re their next meal. “This is my first day at an actual school, so I,” you giggle nervously. “Would be completely lost.”

“Actual school,” Nancy quotes with a curios gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” you pause and avert your gaze. “I’ve been homeschooled almost my whole life until now.”

Nancy’s already big eyes go even wider, and her lips spread to a faint amused smile. “Wow, that’s interesting. Why the sudden change? I mean you’re a senior, you’re almost done with school.”

To avoid exposing what little you do know about your dads mission here at Hawkins, you shorten your short version. “Well…my dad came here so I said why not give it a try? Get the high school experience before I can’t.”

Nancy hums softly and nods along. “Nice. Well I really hope you like it, even if coming here isn’t so exciting.”

You laugh softly, and slow down to a stop alongside her as she walks to a pair of lockers. “Well, you know I’m actually looking towards the slow boring days,” you share with her, and surprise yourself because you are sharing.

You aren’t shy, or you don’t think you are, but you also didn’t think you’d be diving so deep with someone yet. “My dad and I move around a lot, in and out of the country for his work, never too long anywhere so I’m actually excited for the mundane stuff that Hawkins has to offer.” You add.

Nancy blinks and peers back to meet your gaze with a spark of interest that twinkles in her eyes and shows off a small smile. “Well you put it that way,” she mumbles and turns to open her own locker. “Then it’s hard to argue.”

You hum and look at your paper to read the number of your combination. You do know how to do that so you open it with ease, but as you do, from the corner of your eye you catch the cute guy from before sneaking up on Nancy from behind. He catches her by surprise and wraps his arm around her neck before pressing a kiss on her cheek.

Nancy giggles and squirms away from his touch, letting you shove nothing in your locker since you actually don’t know what you need yet, it’s just awkward to watch them, so you just look at the empty and small locker.

“Hey, y/n,” Nancy calls.

You shut the locker door and slowly turn to face her and him.

“This is Steve…”

So that’s his name? He looks like a Steve.

“Steve, this is the new girl, Y/N, she just transferred from homeschool, she’s actually a senior too.” Nancy introduces and plasters a small smile on her face.

The guy throws his hand up for a stiff greeting, and then lifts his chin. “Hey.”

You draw in a deep breath and smile softly. “Hey,” you exhale, and find yourself holding his gaze for a moment before you pull your eyes away and look at your schedule. Unbeknownst to you he keeps his gaze on you for another lingering second.

“Well, I’ll catch you later Nance,” Steve interjects. “I need to grab something from my locker. I just came to say hi.”

Nancy gives him a comprehensive response before he presses a kiss on her lips, letting you know the status of their relationship. He in fact is not single….

“Come on,” Nancy directs at you now and points her head down the hall. “I’ll show you to your first class.”

The walk there is short but is now filled with silence. You would have tried to fill it, but one, you are very much disappointed by him being taken, even if you weren’t going to try something either way. And two, you also can’t speak because of your never ending set of racing nerves that riddle your body. It’s why when you reach your class you step just to the door, and then pull your head back to watch Nancy get out of sight before you rush to the bathroom just down the hall from the class.

Thankfully no one else is inside so you face the window and exhale deeply.

Today shouldn’t be so hard, you tell yourself—it’s like another day at your dads office…those rare times he gets to go—

Only these aren’t adults but kids your own age, judgy kids who haven’t stopped looking at you.

You stick out like a sore thumb here! It’s awful—but you’ll get over it, it’ll be okay. You’ll make friends, go to class and blend in.

You’ll live a normal life for however long you last here.

Isn’t that what you’ve wanted, what wished for afterall? Stability? An ounce of normal in your hectic life?

Well this can be it, stability.

You exhale again, and pull out your lipgloss to apply one more coat before you walk out and head back to class just as the bell rings in the somewhat empty hall. The only one also walking the hall is Steve, and he seems to be walking to the end of the hall where your class is.

Does he have the same class? Hm?

And just as you think about him he looks back and finds you, but he then looks back ahead quickly. A couple seconds pass and he looks back again; does he have something to say or what?

You’d move but you have the same class so you stay and keep walking behind him.

Steve peers back once more, so you scoff this time and throw him a comment. “I’m not following you if that’s what you’re thinking.” You open your schedule and point to the first class. “See, same class.”

Steve turns around to walk back and face you. “Never thought that, but now that you are showing me, did homeschooling not teach you how to hold a paper right? Aren’t you people supposed to be wicked smart?”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and scoff as you turn the paper around the right away. “Did homeschooling not teach you how to hold a paper right?” You mock him.

Steve narrows his gaze on you before he rolls his eyes and feigns a dry laugh. “Real mature. Guess you just proved me wrong.” He teases with a playful smirk.

You shoot him an unamused glare and quip back. “You started it, now I’m heading to class.” You huff out and pick up your pace to walk past him.

“Yeah?” He scoffs. “Well me too.” He picks up his own pace to beat you to the same class.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you also can’t help but smile faintly at the ground before you walk in your first class.

——

*LATER*

Lunch, a break between classes before the rest of the day. It’s not as different as home, albeit usually you did eat lunch with your grandmother or your father, and the food was…uh…way more appetizing than whatever slob they give here.

Regardless, pushing that plate aside, Nancy. You asked if she’d like to have lunch with you so you wouldn’t sit alone in the cafeteria in the middle of all the other students with clics of their own, but, well she isn’t here. Nor is her boyfriend. It’s been 10 minutes now too. Perhaps she’s just running late.

Or she just doesn’t want to talk to you and pretended to be interested in what you had to say between classes….

Yeah….that sounds right—but! You’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and keep waiting.

Eat? No, you’ll bring your own food next time.

Think about going to, “Tina’s Halloween bash.” And get “sheet faced”? Yeah, it sounds promising. Cool. You've never been to a high school party so it should be cool, especially because it’s a costume party!

Maybe you can be—well that’s still up for debate, but it should be cool. Maybe you can even make more friends, considering the one you wanted to be with isn’t showing up. Great.

Maybe being outside will make you seem less like the new girl. At least you won’t be gawked at as much anyway.

Thus you push yourself off the bench and pick up your tray. Yet just before you can turn away from the chair a plate slams on the spot across from you.

You slowly lift your eyes and notice a guy with long brown hair, a leather jacket over a band shirt, and kind brown eyes.

“Hello, new girl and welcome to Hawkins high!” He greets with a wide welcoming grin.

You slowly sit back down and offer him a small smile. “Hi…” you mumble.

The guy rests his elbows on the table and then rests his chin on his hands before leaning in. “I’ll tell you my name if you tell me yours.”

You squint your eyes and feel your lips tug to a wider smile. “Y/N?”

He narrows his gaze and picks on that. “Is it y/n? Or are you messing with me? Or are you just not sure, I’ve heard you’re homeschooled.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “I was homeschooled, not kept from learning. I’m just….unsure.”

“Unsure?” He quotes and picks his head off his chin. “About what? Me?” He points at his chest.

You shrug. “You know you just come here, leather coat, long hair like Ozzy Osborne, I just need to be cautious.”

The guy's eyes go wide and his smile widens. “Don’t shit me girl, you know Ozzy Osbourne?”

You narrow your gaze and furrow your brows in confusion at his question. “Yes. Why shouldn’t I?”

The guy looks you up and down and then points at your dress. “Because you’re dressed like that?”

You chuckle and nod. “Yeah, I guess lookwise I kind of give a different perspective, but, that’s why you can’t really judge me based on my looks.” You shrug playfully.

The guy chuckles and then smiles softly. “You’re right. So y/n—”

“First,” you cut him off. “I gave you mine, now give me yours.”

The guy holds your gaze and shares what you ask for. “Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

You shoot him a sweet grin. “Well thanks Eddie for taking time from your lunch to talk to me.”

“Well,” he says and picks up his plastic spork. “You looked lonely so I came out of pity.” He smirks.

You feign a laugh, but then go serious. “You are joking right? Because if you aren’t, this makes things weird.”

Eddie snickers and nods. “I’m messing with you, but really I came because you did look lonely.”

You mess with your food and sigh. “I was waiting for my guide who agreed to lunch but she bailed.”

He hums and then takes the orange flier from the table. “You got invited to this thing?”

You hum in agreement. “Yep. This girl was just handing them out so I took it.”

Eddie’s eyebrows begin to knit together out of cursoity. “You goin’?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, depends if I can come up with a last minute costume. Are you?”

Eddie slams the paper down and shoves food in his mouth. “I’m too much of a loser to be invited to one of those parties.”

“What?” You quip. “Loser? Really? I don’t see it.”

“You,” my friend he says and swallows his food. “Haven’t been here long, so let me tell you, me and my friends. The band geeks, some of the school newspaper people, and you know all that stuff, are considered losers here by the jocks and everyone who has enough of daddy’s money to buy themselves some friends.”

You set your utensil down and look around at everyone having lunch before you look back at Eddie. “I can’t say I agree with you, I’ve been homeschooled my whole life up until now. All my school experience comes from tv and my dads stories. If I go to that Halloween party it will be my first highschool party ever, but from what I’m experiencing now, I think you’re cool. I mean besides Nancy, you’re the first person who’s bothered to have an actual conversation with me.”

Eddie’s offers you a half smile and nods slowly. “Thanks. You’re cool too, especially because you know Ozzy Osbourne. But I don’t want to taint you, you’re new, pretty, you can have cool friends.”

You nod. “Yeah, but will they actually be genuine if all they care about is my looks, and my daddy's money, as you say?”

“Guess that depends.”

You hum softly and take the flier from the table to shove it in your backpack.

“But can we rewind and touch on the fact that you haven’t gone to a high school party before?” Eddie points out, making you cover your face and grow hot out of embarrassment.

“I told you,” you remind him. “I’ve been homeschooled. My dad moves around a lot for work, so as to not keep moving schools, he just chose to teach me, and let my very strict grandma teach me. I can’t really make friends and go out if I’m hopping on a plane every other month.”

Eddie leans over and slams his hands on the table. “Well you my friend are going to crash that party with me.”

You put your hand down and slowly begin to smile with joy. “Really? That sounds like fun. I'm down.”

——

*LATER*

Much of the second half of school was quite boring, a lot of stuff that the teachers talked about is stuff you already learned so it serves mostly as a reminder. Which…can be useful for tests…

That girl Nancy, showed up after stranding you at lunch and did not forget to throw apologies, saying that she forgot she was going to help her boyfriend study, and that she literally forgot about lunch. It doesn’t make a good impression to you’re already cautious mind, but you ignore the warning and let it slide.

It’s not like you have much options anyway.

And now home. Your dad got home and went off to report, type, and write about his mystery day. He has failed to come out of his office, so you’re left to your own devices. Which consists of staying in your living room watching tv and doing homework, you’re just not used to so much space, it all feels…forbidden. It just doesn’t feel like it’s yours yet. You’ll give it time though, soon your mind will come to terms that your current house is more than just a square.

Albeit there is one aspect that does make you grasp how big your house is, and that’s how lonely it all makes you feel. Usually you’re content knowing that your dad is in the room next to yours, but now you’re in the living room and he’s upstairs, far, and closed off in his office.

He didn’t even come down for dinner.

Maybe you should pay him a visit. Cure yourself from this loneliness.

“Hey,” you call softly. “Dad.” You tap your fist on the door again and press your ear against the door.

A few seconds pass before his voice travels out. “Come in.”

You slowly open the door and first peak your head inside. “You missed dinner,” you say as you watch him spin around on his chair to face you cautiously stepping in his office. “So I brought it for you.” You walk in fully and show off the plate.

The corner of his lips tug upward slightly. “Thanks,” he mutters while he watches you walk in.

“How was your day?” You query whilst you study his office and look out for anything that will clue you as to what he’s been doing today.

Your dad takes the plate from your hand and actually redirects your question. “How was yours?”

You narrow your gaze and stay quiet for a few seconds, finding his avoidance off, but not questioning it too much yet. “It was…” You sigh and shrug. “Cool. It’s weird.” You smile. “Going to class. Being around so many people my age. I mean some classes are quite boring because I already know what they were teaching, but…I think I like it. I like school.”

Your dad hums softly. “That’s good baby. Wh-what about that chaperone girl?” He wonders. “You make friends with her? She seemed nice.”

“Yeah,” you agree and lean against the wall. “She was nice but she was kind of…weird…she was in and out. At times it feels like she does wanna be my friend, but she then pulls away. Is that normal?”

As your dad takes a bite from his sandwich he drops his gaze and blinks slowly. “Well you're basically strangers, give her some time. Get to know her. Invite her over, or I don’t know, hang out.”

Yeah he is right, you can’t have her be your bestest friend in a day. Maybe you’ll see her at the party, or-or maybe you can hang out the day after! That’d be nice.

“Get this though,” you add excitedly and dig in your sweaters pocket to pull out the party invite. “I got invited to a halloween party!” You hand your dad the paper so he can look at it, and then fiddle with your fingers. “Could I go?”

“Hm,” he hums and then swallows back his food and scoffs in amusement. “Sheet-faced. That’s…funny.”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “Not so creative, but can I? I met a guy, he said he’d accompany me. He’d even pick me up.”

Your dads gaze lifts at the mention and rather than picking on the fact that you mentioned a boy, he begins to smirk. “Sure, you can go.”

You beam and clap. “Yay.” You run over to him and wrap your arms around his neck. “I thought of my costume already…drum roll please!”

Your dad puts the plate down and pats his hands on the handles of his chair.

You skip back away from him, making him follow you with his eyes.

“David Bowie!” You announce. “More specifically, a costume he wore in his The 1980 Floor Show. The one with the nets and fake hands.”

Your dad grabs his plate again and smirks. “I’ll like to see how you pull that off for tomorrow.”

“Don’t doubt me, I can do it. I’ll be the best dressed one there!” You clasp your hands together and swing them down. “Now my keys! Please.”

Your dad sighs deeply before spinning around and swiping your car keys off his desk. “Just be careful, okay? No drinkin’, or you know pumping music to loud.”

Just as you’re about to snatch your keys from his hand you look at him with a growing smile. “Pumping music?” You repeat as you begin to giggle. “Dad?” You shoot him a playful glare.

He throws his hands up and finds nothing wrong with it. “What? I heard someone say it!”

You burst out laughing harder and swipe your keys from him. “I’m gonna go pump music in my room now,” you tease him and laugh louder as you begin to stride out of his office.

Rather than staying in his office your father follows after you whilst he eats his sandwich. “Mhm, I love tomato stems in my sandwich.”

You peer back and click your tongue. “Shoulda made dinner than. Besides vitamins…can’t having you lacking at work. Who’ll keep up with my expensive taste then?”

“College fund,” he muffles with his mouth full of food. “Or drugs. It’s a growing business.”

You giggle and walk into your open room, and throw your keys on your bedside table before you stop by your bed and just look at it.

With all the moving around for his work you’ve actually never had a bed of your own. Never one you can pick out pretty covers for, never one to say “yeah that’s my bed”. You can’t complain about motel beds, or rented homes, but they don’t compare to this, this was yours, your own.

“Now,” you whisper and take your slippers off to jump on your bed. “Tell me,” you add with a grin. “How was your day?” You drag yourself further on the bed and cross your legs to bounce on the bed.

It’s so soft and bouncy, not hard whatsoever. It smells new too, not used and washed by cheap soaps.

“I met with Jim,” he finally shares. “It was…uh…awkward at first, but it was…nice I suppose.”

You scoff and pat the empty space beside you. He doesn’t fret, he puts his plate down and takes the seat beside yours.

However he then gets up and runs to the entrance. You’re about to question him, but he then turns the light off and hurries back to his spot. “Lay back,” he orders.

Your eyebrows furrow, but you don’t question him and do as he asks, seeing he lays back too. Yet seeing him do it only confuses you more.

“So, we—”

“Look up,” he cuts you off.

You draw in a deep breath and flicker your eyes up to the ceiling. That’s when you gasp as you see glowing stars slowly brighten.

“I just thought I’d make this feel like home,” he whispers and turns his head to look at you.

The gesture wasn’t big, they were silly stars that glow in the dark, something for kids, but it means a lot to you that he remembers.

“Do you like them? Or are they embarrassing now?”

You smile in awe and tilt your head down to meet his gaze. “I love them daddy.” You grin happily and look up at the glowing stars again. “Maybe we should have dinner with uncle Jim. Mend what’s broken?”

“I offered,” your dad says with a sigh. “He shut me down, but I did meet up with an old friend, Bob Neeby.”

Oh, right, his nerdy best friend.

“He invited me for lunch tomorrow.”

You hum softly in comprehension, “that’s good. You won’t have to hang out with me all the time now.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is weird.” He jokes.

You laugh softly, and then let a comfortable silence take over but only for a little while.

“So,” he breaks the short silence in a more serious tone this time. “I think this will be my big break.”

Your smile falters as you hear him share what you’ve been after.

“You remember the lab I told you about?”

You nod slowly.

“Well,” he continues. “This lab it’s crazier than I was told. It’s more than just experiments. Get this…a boy is presumed dead, there’s a body and everything, but a few days later he comes out alive and it’s like nothing happened. And a few days after he disappeared, a girl disappeared too around the same area, but she didn't come back,” he sighs.

“I spoke with the parents and they say that she was caught up in something that leaked from the lab. Or that’s what Jim told ‘em. But the weird thing is that there’s no body. She just disappeared close to the lab,” he says almost excitedly.

You let out a shaky breath and slowly look at him with a scared frown. “You believe the leak is true?” You ask in a frightful voice.

Your dad sighs and shakes his head. “No. There’s something more going on. There’s unexplained deaths, missing files…unsolved calls. Someone’s covering shit up,” he deadpans. “I’m here to take it all down though. End it all. There’s evil in that lab. I’ll set things right.”

“And after?” You bring up with hope. “Do we get to settle down?”

Your dad lets out a deep breath and nods. “Yeah. After this we stop moving. I go back to Washington, we find a good home there and we just live.”

You turn your gaze back to the stars and can’t help your hopeful smile. “Promise?” You ask.

“I promise,” he assures you.

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billys-pretty-babe · 1 year

Text

The Angel

Pairings : Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary : 2 years have passed since Billy was used as a host for the Mind Flayer and as soon as he recovered, he went back to California where he met you.

Picture from Pinterest

Warnings : Swearing, Karen Wheeler mentions

Word Count : 1.2k

A/N : I couldn't find a gif of him on the floor of the sauna but to me it always looked like ripped away angel wings.

You had always noticed the scars that littered his body, especially the identical large scars on his shoulder blades. Billy was insecure around you at first before he warmed up to you and now he's more than willing to take his shirt off around you, hell he hates the feeling of shirts, claims he's allergic to them.

It was summer time in Santa Barbara, the fan in your room on the highest setting and the two of you lounged around. "We should go see Top Gun." Billy looked at you and scowled, "No, you just want to see Tom Cruise shirtless." You rolled your eyes, "I'm sick of shirtless men," you said, poking fun at him.

"Oh really," your boyfriend asked as he flexed and the scars became slightly more prominent. He never talked about them but Billy noticed the way you looked at them, you never stared, you were taught that staring was rude and disrespectful. "I got these in Hawkins." You nodded, "That's the Indiana place right?" He nodded and laid down, resting his head on your black pillow.

"There was creepy shit in that town, like supernatural shit." You nodded and held his hand. "Um, it was during the summer, I can't really remember the date but I think I was fresh eighteen and I was a lifeguard at the community pool." He furrowed his brow, trying to remember some of the details, sure he had been told about things but he still tried to fill in the gaps on his own.

"There was this mom, Karen was her name, I was going to meet up with her one night at a motel six and on the way to the motel, something hit my car and shattered my windshield, it was a spiderweb shatter. I was at this abandoned warehouse and I was dragged down the stairs by this shadow monster thing." He looked at your face, trying to gage your reaction, ready for the laughs, claiming that he was funny for coming up with an absurd story but it never came.

He was met with soft eyes, eyes that were on his face trying to look for any signs of discomfort. "It did something to me, I can't remember, no matter how hard I try. I had trouble going to work because it didn't like the heat and my skin would burn and I'd get these black veins all over my body." He swallowed the lump in his throat and you rubbed his knuckles.

"It fed off energy so I gathered people, um my co-worker Heather, I don't know what happened to her afterwards. The scars on my back are from a fight in a sauna against this freaky little girl, she was friends with Max." You nodded, knowing who Max was. "They never healed, I'm not sure why. July fourth came and I don't know if you ever heard about it, probably not, I doubt it made the news here but the mall burned down." You nodded, "I heard about it, they said there were two casualties." Billy nodded, "Obviously there weren't, actually, I'm not sure about Hopper but that freaky kid, her name's El or Jane, the kids called her both."

"I was going to sacrifice her and she did this weird shit and got into my head and I felt human again for the first time in a while, even before I got turned into that weird monster. I didn't want anything to happen to her so I was going to sacrifice myself, Max was in the mall with her friends. I was horrible to her and I felt like it was the only way to show her that I cared about her. The monster hit me, here, here and here," he said as he pointed to the scars on his chest, sides and abdomen.

"Apparently someone closed the gate or whatever, I don't remember what they called it but basically, the shadow monster wasn't able to penetrate deep enough to kill me, that's how I got all of these scars." You nodded and looked at each one. "I'm sorry," you said and he looked at you. "What're you apologizing for?" You shrugged, "I don't know, I just feel like I should be sorry. Sorry that it happened to you, I don't know." Billy shook his head, "If none of that happened, I wouldn't be here with you so I guess in a way, I'm glad it happened, Just wish I didn't have the physical reminders." You nodded.

You traced some of the scars, "Your back scars remind me of an angel." He raised a brow, "Baby, I'm far from an angel," he said flirtatiously and winked at you making you laugh at him, your cheeks heating up at the reminder of the previous night that was spent with him. "They remind me of angel wings, like they were taken from you." Billy looked at you before laughing, "You're so cheesy." You groaned and flicked his nose and he laughed as he scrunched it.

"Too bad I can't call you Angel since you already call me that." Billy laughed, "Yup, it's taken, can't be used." You both laughed and he opened his arms for you to lay on his chest and you gladly got comfortable on him, putting your head under his chin. "B." He hummed, "Do you wish you could go back to Hawkins?" "No, I'm glad I got out of it. I wish I could see my sister but she'll be eighteen in a few years, she writes to me a lot plus she's coming to visit in July. She wants to meet you." You smiled against his neck, "You talk about me?" He laughed, "Yeah, of course I do, sent her one of our polaroids too. She thinks you're pretty." You smiled.

"She did mention that when she visits in July she doesn't want to hear happy screams. Whatever that means," he said, acting clueless. You both laughed and he held you tightly, you noticed he did that a lot more lately. He yawned loudly and dramatically smacked his lips and you laughed at him. "Wanna stay the night?" "Is your dad gonna try and chase me over your fence? I can't jump over it again, I ripped a pair of my pants doing that." You bit your lip, trying so hard to keep the laugh in.

"He's in Arizona for business. Won't be back until August and mom has the night shift." He nodded and leaned over to turn off the lamp as he pulled the sheet over your body, knowing that if he got too hot, he would start to panic. He felt your hand search for his and he felt you smile against him as you intertwined your fingers. Your breathing evened out and he let out a happy sigh, he was healing, the physical healing was done and over with a year ago but he was mentally and emotionally healing from everything he's ever gone through.

He still hasn't talked about his dad but maybe he will, Baby Billy still needed to heal after all. You held him slightly tighter in your sleep and he knew you were dreaming and he smiled and kissed the top of your hair before shifting a little and falling asleep with the moonlight being the only light in the room.

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