GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING TOP GUN (1986) FOR THE FIRST TIME:
"Look at those thighs! He's gotta be sitting on a dick, there ain't no way!" (about a random engineer in the opening sequence)
"This guy is too handsome to be a rando" (it was, indeed, a rando)
"Fifteen minutes in and I have no idea who the protagonist is." "Do you know what Tom Cruise looks like?" ".... No."
*Thought Cougar was gonna be the protagonist, was confused as hell when he left*
"The baldo is boring, but I think were gonna keep seeing him throughout the movie." "No, we're not." "We're not? Oh, thank god."
"Whoop, spotted the gay one. That wasn't even hard."
"That guy (Chipper) looks russian." "Nope." "No? What about that one (Slider)?" "It's the middle of the Cold War." "..... So?"
"A gay couple already? Wow."
"The blondie is trying to flirt while the other one is too concentrated on the rivalry."
"OH HELL NAH."
"Every old movie just feels the need for random straight romance– OH SHIT THAT'S HER? HE'S SO FUCKED." (In the scene where Charlie is 'officially' introduced)
"HOLD UP!" *Rewinds the scene* "What kind of flirting is that?" *Plays the scene again* "Did he just... Chomp? At him?"
"He has chemistry with her, but she doesn't want any chemistry with him. I mean, I can see she's attracted to him, but I think she just wants a quick lay." (Repeated this Every. Single. Time. Maverick and Charlie had a scene together.)
"Ah yes, the hetero scene that actually looks really gay." Later, remembering the scene: "How the fuck are you gonna play sports looking like a hot piece of ass without looking gay? You're not supposed to be hot! You're supposed to slap that fucking ball, not be like 'hahaha look at me, I'm so dainty and pretty.' THAT'S GAY!"
"It's cute, Goose treats him like a father would." "Don't you mean an older brother?" "No, he's too gentle for that. They'd be killing each other."
"See, Goose's wife treats him like an older sister would. By annoying him."
Charlie, on screen: "(...) Because I've fallen in love with you." "NO YOU FUCKING HAVEN'T, SHE'S JUST SAYING THAT FOR HIM TO STAY! SHE'S JUST SAYING WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR TO KEEP HIM THERE!"
*Loud disgruntled noises I could hear from the kitchen over the sex scene*
"That's the one with the hard on!"
"I want more scenes of the blondie (Ice) and Maverick, I don't care about fucking planes."
"Did he die? Oh, no he's fine, the chute is there. Wait, he did die? NO!"
"Did he really need to be in his underwear for this conversation?"
"How cute, he's worried about Mavericks mental health. Shit."
*Screams*
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT? SHE LEFT YOU AFTER YOUR BEST FRIEND DIED!" "And put on a song that reminds him of his parents." "AND PUT ON A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR DEAD PARENTS!"
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Cyclone:...Lieutenant, I'm looking at this form you filled out...
Rooster: Yes, sir?
Cyclone: And under "Talents and Attributes" you wrote "My Taste in Men".
Rooster: Yes, sir.
Cyclone:...Why?
Rooster:...I lost a bet to Hangman, sir.
Hangman(out in the hall): YEAH YA DID
Cyclone:...Well, the funny thing is, that we have this same form written up by by Admiral Kazansky back in 1987, and it says the same thing.
Maverick(out in the hall): YEAH IT DOES
Cyclone:......They're high-fiving out there, aren't they?
Rooster: They're totally high-fiving, sir.
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I know it’s not realistic but I want to imagine an au where Ice and Mav don’t really have to hide their relationship all that much cause the navy just won’t believe that they are together
They walk around holding hands and eye fucking each other in the middle of meetings and it’s just ah yes, Mitchell and Kazansky, the bros, they love joking around
They live together, they’re raising Bradley together, they get there and they leave together but no no no, you don’t get it, it’s a joke
Meanwhile Ice and Mav are practically begging for someone to believe them, like yeah we don’t want people to find out cause we’ll get kicked out but also it’s so obvious
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something I’ve been thinking about for a while…..iceman and his rise through the ranks! Then I saw this ref (under the cut) which I think…. @calkale reblogged once? And it’s been in my photos since then, just waiting!
hope you guys like this :)) alt version and ref under the cut!
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