oh also i got the notif that i reached 500 posts earlier

What makes us human is the Nintendo 3DS

I made this a couple of months ago but. hack your 3ds. do it right now.

clowns in court

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

the batfam but dick never told anyone about tim’s violent rampage as red robin during bruce’s disappearance.

*in an argument* tim: at least i’m not as bloodthirsty and violent as you! jason: you literally killed so many people when bruce was missing tim! you crossed lines even i wouldn’t, so what’s that about???

*the whole room goes silent, everyone slowly turns their head towards jason as tim just glares at the floor. dick is sending a desperate “ABORT. STOP.” signal with his eyes while making a cut-throat motion with his hands, damian is staring at tim in absolute disbelief and bruce, who was reading the newspaper, just peers over the top with a strained smile and goes: “what lines did he cross, jason?”. chaos ensues.*

bonus: alfred just sipping tea while observing the whole shouting match from the kitchen. he won’t intrude, he’s been waiting for this to happen for a very, very long time.

this panel from scrupulosity-comics lives in my heart

Delicious? In this dungeon? More likely than you think

I'm doing it. Whatever organism this comes up as, I will make a character* of that species. Even if it's a plant. Even if it's a mushroom. Even if it's microscopic. Even if it's barely studied. Even if it's a species I've made before.

(if this comes up as human I might actually cry but I'll still do it)

*probably just a character design but still

String identified: ' g t. at ga t c a, a a caact* tat c. t' a at. t' a . t' ccc. t' a t. t' a c ' a .

( t c a a gt acta c t ' t t)

*a t a caact g t t

Closest match: Sus scrofa family with sequence similarity 76 member B (FAM76B), transcript variant X4, misc_RNA Common name: Wild boar

(image source)

Misha Collins is the funniest straight man ever. He’s the only person to arguably queerbait in real life. He had to come out as a straight. He was told by WB to just stay bisexual. He’s living every homophobe’s nightmare scenario but the only difference is that everyone actually loves it for him

day 2: please be gentle ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

anyways... here's why i think Loki and Matt Murdock should be each other's narrative foil(romantic):

• Loki- famously known liar, Matt Murdock- able to tell when people are lying

• Both wear helmets with horns on them, but Matt's are small and practical and Loki's are large and gaudy.

• Matt Murdock- Practicing Irish Catholic, Loki- Norse "God" of Mischief

• Loki- Presents himself as selfish and self preserving, Matt Murdock- Presents himself as selfless and self sacrificing

• Loki- Will flee if he knows he's gonna get his ass kicked for no gain, Matt Murdock- Knows he's gonna get his ass kicked for no gain and does it anyway

• They simply seem like prime material for a "We vehemently dislike each other up until we (whoops!) realize we love each other so much we can't live without the other" type romance that I am always obsessed over.

• Thor would enjoy it, and, frankly, he deserves the entertainment.

hey so we put your boyfriend in a tabletop campaign and now he has a martyr complex. yeah he got protective to the point of being self sacrificial due to his lack of self worth. we gave him a found family so he had something to live for but instead he’s just committed to being a human shield to keep them safe even if it kills him. sorry

beautiful women with cute names like "google" and "pay pal" keep sliding into my email inbox to tell me about their updated terms of service

You're a ghost You pass through me You're here, then you're gone I can see you from the corner of my eye.

based on this post

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.