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imagine--if · 2 months

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A/N: I've missed writing for Eddie 🥹 hope you enjoy reading! And happy 2nd anniversary to The Batman movie!! Can't believe I fell in love with the film and its characters two solid years ago, and super hyped for the sequel 🖤 A Bruce Wayne/Battinson imagine will be coming soon, so stay tuned!!

Wordcount: 1.3k

Time period: Riddler Year One, Issue 6 (beginning of The Batman)

He hated it when you were gone this long.

It was okay if he knew where you were, if you were working or out with a couple of friends, someplace he could track you through your phone. Through windows. Through anything. As long as the sun was still out and he knew exactly where you were, could reach you whenever he wanted, he could keep his grip on his mentality, and at least half-focus on his plans and preparations.

But he couldn't do any of that right now. Which led to the inevitable.

Pacing his shabby little apartment that you somehow managed to make a little brighter, tidier, something close to home, closer than he'd ever got before. But now, it was cold and dark and empty, painfully quiet, apart from his uneven, staggering breaths that Edward tried in vain to swallow down.

'Breathe.'

It was a simple job. Too simple. Sneak into the Penguin's rooms at the Iceberg Lounge, plant the bug, slip out again, unnoticed. And you would either be very much unnoticed, blending in perfectly with. there's of the deceptively beautiful girls and boys who danced and flirted and drank at the bars and around round tables and tall, glossy silver poles stretching up into the high ceilings of the club. Or you would be pulled aside by some pervert that thought you were as pretty as Edward himself did, maybe by the Penguin, or that pig Falcone.

He shouldn't have set you. Too risky. Send a follower? No, too complicated; not enough of them yet, everything still growing and finalising, piecing together in a lovely puzzle crafted by his mind. You might well go unnoticed, but if he dared go himself, it would be a horror show.

This was a baadddd idea.

The smooth click and glide of the lock twisting and opening up the heavy front door made him flinch out of his thoughts, murky green eyes jumping to the short hallway with hope and fear in his gaze. The same hope a puppy gets when its owner comes back home, the same fear a madman harbours in a dizzying craze, living off the what-ifs and obsessions their mind feeds them in the darkness.

When he speaks, it's in a rush, words tripping over each other and his voice catching, stumbling forwards to grip onto your shoulders with his soft but firm, trembling grip.

"You were gone too long," Edward insists, his fingers digging into the fabric of your sweater, searching for your warmth and reassurance, his eyes trying to take in every part of your face at once. "Too long... and I was worrying, and I felt sick, and I- you can't do it again, please, please, because-"

"It's alright, Eddie," you cut him short gently in amusement and sympathy, your arms fitting snugly around his neck as you embrace him. You easily fill him shiver at the contact, starving, aching, as he hugs you back with enough force to make you breathless, digging his face in your neck needily with a soft whining sound.

It's almost funny, how desperate and childlike he can be, all big green eyes sparkling with joy and awe at how readily you give your affections to him, his skin bare of any sweet touch from another being in Gotham other than yours. But he doesn't want anyone else's now, anyway. The rest of Gotham can sink into its corruption, and his hope incarnate can dance above the waves.

He gazes up at you in a slight daze, speechless, and you smile at him the way you do, the way that makes him smile back in giddy wonder, his thoughts spinning around and around like a carousel, all bright, pure lights and ethereal tunes.

"I miss you," Edward mumbles, half to himself, his stare wandering to study your eyes, your nose, your lips. "Always."

"I missed you too," you reply earnestly, "but it was worth it. I did what you said."

He blinks at your words, his attention circling back as he looks up into your eyes in curiosity and a sweet, almost innocent light, one that doesn't at all match the moment.

"I bugged his office," you clarify, nodding, "in and out. No one saw my face, and if they did, they won't remember it."

Edward lets out a slow breath, his expression loosening from intrigue and thought to the depths bubbling to the surface, his eyes spiked with venom and his words hushed with a small smirk.

"Oh," he mumbles, before giggling slightly, blinking up at you in pride and unhinged malice. "I love you."

You beam at his words, your fingers stroking down the plump curve. of his cheek, an action that makes him shudder and his breath catch in his throat, his eyes round and adoring.

"I love you too, Ed."

"I- I'll give you everything," he promises, his words rolling into lovestruck rambles between repeating your name, "everything I have. Every... everything."

There's that strange but familiar feral hunger in his eyes, not violent, but full of untethered passion and obsession, of love and lust, of everything he's never experienced before. And now that he is, he wants it all, wants it now, to feel everything at once and lose himself in endless spirals of pleasure and ecstasy that rakes up his spine and makes his voice crack and break-

"I'll never," Edward continues in a whisper, tugging you deeper into his arms, walking back and down onto his couch and pulling you with him, "never let you go. Everything will happen as it should, and I'll be there to get you... again, and again, and again, and again, and-"

You let him keep rambling on, his cheek rubbing against yours and ducking into the hot curve of your neck like a cat, his damp lips skimming your skin mindlessly, hanging onto you with his surprisingly strong grip, even though there's nowhere else to go. Tonight, there's nothing but the Riddler, his arms trapping you inside all that he is.

Black and green screens of computers running code down their displays absently fills the night with an eerie but almost comforting glow, polaroid pictures of his targets, red ink scribbled harshly in question marks and accusations over the glossy print. For you, there's a separate case of shots, most taken with you knowing, across the room in his apartment, with Edward grinning and giggling when you glare at him weakly in amusement and protest at the constant flashes and printing of pictures and mugshots.

No escape. None at all. You're with him for life, because you let him in, and like a virus, he ran through everything that makes you, you, drinking it in and fantasizing up until this very moment. A moment where Edward forgot about the blood he shed and the streams up for his cult following, the big board pinned with pictures and news clippings and rage in the form of black and white. He just clung to you fiercely, inhaled you, to do it all again the next morning, still trembling with the warmth and tremors of raw desire and love.

I am there, but cannot be seen," he whispers in your ear, nuzzling impossibly closer to you, his fingers lacing with yours, "to have me costs you nothing. To be without me costs you everything. What am I?"

You've heard this one before. It was in one of the little notes he left you during your first few meetings with him, and every one of his riddles seemed to have something to do with you, with how he saw you, absolutely angelic with no flaws, no blemishes, gorgeously unharmed by the wicked world of Gotham.

"Hope?" you guess correctly, glancing up at him expectantly, and he giggles again, his fingers tracing over your lips boldly, caught up in the moment and his own wonderful world of puzzles and clues.

"Or," Edward smiles brightly at you, resting his forehead against yours... and answering with your name.

✧༺ 𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ༻∞ (message me know if you want to be removed. ghost blogs/dead accs have been removed.)

@misadventures0fdes @junebugp @simestandswithtaylorswift-blog @carley-carley-carley @lostbunn @dragovegogrimborn @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @edwardspumpkinpie @murderbimbo00 @sweetums0kitty @beel-mcburger @cml-san @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @bimboanime @phoenixgurl030 @dangerouslittlefairy @yoyoanaria @yaeyuuki @vinxlsketches @beenz-beenz @ghoulsgraveyard @birds-have-teeth @repostingmyfavs @r3ptiliaaa @for3v3rda1sy @glitterycheesecakegladiator @moonwritesblog @lilyevans1 @httpsunflowersleep @hxney-lemcn @callsigncrash @bokksieu @skateb0red @philiasoul@felicityofbakerstreet @deadlights-darling @ireadandream @tinyryder @kpopgirlbtssvt @truecobblepot @jessicainhell

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babyjakes · 2 years

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darling dangers.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinktober 2022

prompt | vibrator

pairings | mean!dark!best friend!ransom drysdale and soft!dark!best friend!jake jensen x innocent!reader

warnings | non/dub-con (reader is reluctant and resistant.) ran and jake are absolutely taking advantage of reader. ran is an asshole, jake is a little better. heavy humiliation, babying, dumbification, mocking and degradation. crying kink. ransom holds reader down. pussy slapping. forced fingering and use of vibrator. heavy clit focus. multiple forced orgasms. squirting. overstimulation. jake is doing most of the work, ransom's just there to be mean lol.

word count | 2,312

an | um oh my godddddd, ,,, this idea has been swirling around in my brain for so long and finally, finally i get to bring it to fruition >:-)) welcome to kinktober, whores <333 also sorry if this one feels awkward or rusty? i've been writing whump for the past month so getting back into the filth felt a little clumsy :-((

As soon as you see the small black box sitting out in the open on the counter between your two best friends, both of their faces drawn in expectant expressions as they stand just waiting for you to walk in on the perfect scene they've orchestrated- you know you're in deep, deep trouble.

Ransom's crossing his arms, a small smirk forming on his face when he sees how wide your eyes have gone. Jake's giving off more disappointment than amusement, which honestly hits deeper than the twisted pleasure his counterpart's apparently finding in the whole ordeal. Gulping as you take a step forward into the kitchen, your voice betrays you by trembling as you dare to speak up. "R-Ran? Jakey? What's going on?"

"You know, it's funny, princess. We've been wondering the same thing," Ransom jests as he places a steady hand on the counter, crossing one ankle over the other as he pauses to glance at the blonde standing beside him. "Right, J? We never would've imagined our precious little angel- our sweet, innocent y/n- turning out to be such a whore."

Tears prickle in your eyes at the remark; bottom lip puffing out slightly in a pathetic frown, you shake your head in defense. "N-no, don't say that. S'not true."

"Aww, look at her, Jake. Think she's gonna cry already. Go on then, sweetheart. Know you can't help it, you've always been such a sensitive little thing."

Brow stiffening in anger, you glare at the brown-haired boy. "Stop it," you whisper through your hurt and confusion. Why are they doing this to you? They're your best friends, your Ran and Jakey. What would ever drive them to humiliate you like this? You would've never seen it coming. "Wh-why were you going through my mail, anyway? You have no right."

"Well, it helped that we were expecting the package," Jake finally breaks his silence, letting out a small sigh as he crosses his own arms. "An email popped up about your order status while I was helping you fix your phone last week. Couldn't believe it, our sweet y/n, ordering from a site like that. But it looks like there was no mistake here." Turning slightly, he reaches out to pick up the little box with a single hand. Eyeing the picture on the lid, his disappointment only seems to grow as he looks back at you, "Buggy, d'you even know what these are made for? You have no business buyin' something like this; you're much too little, y/n."

Cheeks burning at your friend's patronizing words, your eyes narrow further. "Of course I know what they're made for, Jake. I... I'm not stupid, I'm a big girl. I can order whatever the hell I want," you shot back.

At that, Ransom chuckles as Jake can only manage to shake his head in further disappointment. "A big girl, huh? We'll see about that, babycakes."

Everything happens so fast, you're barely able to process it. Before you know it, the pair have whisked you away to your bedroom, Ransom laughing cruelly as he carries you over his shoulder. In the blink of an eye, they have you surrounded on the plush duvet of your queen-sized bed, the brunette coming up behind you to trap you in his arms. As he leans back against the pile of pillows at the head of the bed, he brings you with him, pressing your back up against his broad chest as you squirm in haste. Jake approaches the two of you on his knees, the box with your new toy still clasped in his hand. Writhing a bit as Ransom tightens his grip on you, you finally find your voice. "What the fuck-? Let go of me, let me go! What are you doing? This is-"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Jake tells you sadly as your other friend eventually gets a good enough hold on you to overpower your resistance. "This is for your own good, y/n. You need'ta learn not to mess around with these things. It's not safe for a little girl like you."

"Learn? What do you mean?" you cry as Ransom's large hands come up to pry your knees apart, using his own strong legs to hold you open. As soon as you feel the cool air of the apartment hitting the thin layer of fabric covering your delicate mound, you freeze. Peering down with wide eyes, you see that your little tennis skirt has flipped up in the most unfortunate of ways, leaving your lacy pink panties on full display for everyone in the room's viewing pleasure. Heart pounding heavily in your chest, you clear your throat.

"R-Ran, Jakey... please..."

"We're not gonna hurt you, baby. Just gonna show you how dangerous these things can be, that's all. You're safe," Jake hums as he lays down on his tummy before you, scooting up between your widespread legs to come almost face-to-face with your now quivering core.

"Pink lace," Ransom snorts from behind you as his hands rest greedily on your inner thighs. "She really is a little slut, isn't she, J?"

Tears pool in your eyes as your cheeks burn in embarrassment. "P-please, please don't look," you beg, your tears earning a sympathetic frown from the blonde beneath you as he reaches out to run a tender hand over the lace of your panties.

"We're gonna be doin' a whole lot more than lookin', sweet thing," he admits as his fingers press against your dampness. "And would you look at that, someone's already gettin' wet." Squeezing out a few more tears as the man prods at your thinly-covered heat, you can only whimper in response.

"Doesn't surprise me. Bet she likes us being all rough, holding her down and spreading her open. You like that, sweetheart?" Ransom teases as he brings a hand up to cup one of your breasts over the flimsy yellow tank top you're wearing. "Never wears a bra around us, either. She's just asking to be played with." At the feeling of his cool hand slipping under your top to search for your beaded nipple, you cry out, straining against his wicked hold- but it's no use. Compared to Jake and Ransom, you're nothing in terms of size or strength. And now that they've got you where they want you, you're completely at their mercy. And you're not sure how much you can trust their promise of safety, not after all they've just done to you.

The meaner of the two laughs darkly as he finds one of the little knots of flesh, pinching and rolling it between his fingers as you cry softly to yourself. "Responsive little thing, isn't she?" he marvels as Jake takes to dealing with your panties; for a moment, he pushes them aside, but then after a few seconds of rethinking, he instead just decides to simply take the thin strip of fabric in his hands, pulling harshly until the band snaps apart completely.

"There we go," he murmurs as his eyes settle down on your dripping folds. "Such a pretty little pussy you've got, sunshine. It's a shame you didn't decide to share sooner."

Looking down over your shoulder to take his own peek, Ransom groans at the sight of your untouched petals. "Fuck, y/n. You've been keeping that all to yourself? Bet no one's ever done anything like this to you before. This your first time, princess?" Your words only continue to fail you as you lower your head in shame, your response giving the two boys all the answers they need. "Well too bad it has to be wasted on a punishment. Dumb little girl thought she could order a big girl toy- these things aren't made for you, baby. You're gonna realize that very quickly."

Pulling his hands away to fiddle with the box, Jake takes his time removing the little blue bullet from its packaging. The friends were smart enough to make sure to charge it before their little ambush, meaning they now have the benefit of its full battery life to spend on teaching you your little lesson. "Here it is," Jake hums, clicking it on carefully to the lowest speed. "Now sweetheart, I'm gonna give you one chance to get yourself outta this," he bargains.

That catches your attention. Raising your weary gaze to meet the blonde's soft set of eyes, you nod reluctantly. "I want you to show me and Ran exactly what you were gonna do with this thing. Want you to use it just like how you were planning when you bought it. And if you're honest with me- with us, and show us everything it was gonna do for you, we'll let you go."

Blinking, you take a moment to think. It's a good offer, you will admit, and he even seems genuine about keeping his end of the deal if you follow through with it. But there's a part of you that just can't bear the thought of demonstrating the crude acts you were intending on performing with the toy, at least not to your two best friends in the entire world. He left it unsaid, but it was implied: Jake wants you to make yourself cum for them. And you just can't do it, you know you can't. So you decide to do the only other thing you can think of: play stupid and pray they buy it.

Swallowing thickly, you nod. Shifting a little, Ransom releases one of your hands, still holding your breast hostage beneath his fingers, almost as an impending threat. Watching you carefully, Jake hands you the buzzing bullet, the strength of the toy's vibrations causing your hand to tingle ticklishly as you suck in a deep breath.

"Go ahead, cutie. Show us," Jake encourages.

Trying to keep your hand from shaking, you brace yourself as you bring the object down between your legs, searching a little to find your glistening hole. Squeezing your eyes shut, you push in, letting the low rumble of the vibrator settle into your core.

"Alright, that's enough," Ransom snaps, causing you to jump as Jake rips the toy from your heat and grasp. "Stupid fucking baby, that was a big mistake. Are you really too dumb to know where it goes? Or do you just want us to punish you?"

Shaking his head in disappointment, Jake sighs heavily. "Good girls don't lie, y/n," he states harshly as Ransom resecures both of your arms down against your back before reaching between your legs to land a few forceful slaps against your bare pussy.

You sob at the sting, gasping as his hand comes up to pull back the hood of your clit. "Give it to her, she was asking for it," he nods to Jake.

Turning up the toy a few clicks, the blonde focuses in his gaze on your little bundle of nerves as he gently collects some of your wetness on the twitching head of the tool before easing it up against your button, earning a strained gasp from you as your whole world's set on fire. The burning is unlike anything you've ever experienced, heat blooming in your core as you burst into more tears at the sensation. Shaking his head knowingly, Jake's voice is full of disappointment as he chastises you, "I gave you a chance, y/n, but you either lied to me, or you're just way dumber than I ever imagined."

"Look at all those tears," Ransom all but moans as he twists and pulls at your nipple, grinding subtly into your back as he holds you down for Jake's torment. "Keep it right on the head, pal- don't cut her any slack. What's the matter, sweetheart- huh? That too much for you? I thought you were a big girl who could handle big girl toys. Of course you're not," he laughs darkly, only egged on by the feeling of you writhing against him, "you're just a stupid little baby who needs to be taught a lesson."

"Think she's learning pretty quick," Jake comments as he practically drools at the sight of your wetness leaking out onto the bed beneath you. Using his free hand, he gently eases a finger into you, curling up gently to rub at your soft, spongey ceiling as your eyes roll back in horrific pain and pleasure.

"Please, please..." you're reduced to mere sobs as you feel the pressure of your orgasm building up more and more in your tummy. "Please, n-no-... wait-... stop-..."

"There it is. C'mon, baby. Cum for us, it's okay," Jake coos as he twirls the head of the bullet over your swollen clit. "That's it, there you go," he sighs with a small smile as you're forced over the edge, your back arching painfully as you squirt out onto his waiting hands.

"Fuck," Ransom curses from behind you, his cock bulging needily at the sight of you being forced to cum. "She's a fucking squirter, would'ya look at that. Better than anything I was dreaming of," he groans as your little toes twitch from the overstimulation, your sobs growing louder as you come down from your high.

"P-please, please, no more!" you hiccup, the continued vibrations against your now engorged button enough to bring you to your knees.

"You think she's learned her lesson, Ran?" Jake asks doubtfully, already knowing what the answer will be as he stretches you open to add a second finger before turning up the bullet another few notches.

"No, I don't think we're anywhere near finished," the brunette responds cruelly as he slaps his hand down a few times against your throbbing heat before pulling back on your lips again to spread you out once more. "She needs at least one more, maybe two. Gotta really show her how dangerous that little thing can be."

#eun's writing #darling dangers #kinktober 2022 #ransom drysdale smut #jake jensen smut #jake jensen #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fanfiction #jake jensen fanfiction #dark!ransom drysdale #dark!jake jensen #chris evans #chris evans smut #jake jensen x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #jake jensen one shot #jake jensen imagine #ransom drysdale one shot #ransom drysdale imagine

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amethystfairy1 · 4 months

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✨Hello hello!✨

I'm Amethyst (she/her), and I'm your local fanfic gremlin. I've written a lot for a lot of fandoms, right now I am caught in the Hermit/Traffic/Empires brainrot, and if that's how you've ended up here, welcome welcome!

Right now, I have two WIP AUs!

Through the Sky-Blue Cracks 🌤️

My Hot Guy/Cute Guy, Over-City/Under-City AU that has a lot more going on in it now, it's grown pretty big and is organized in chronological order, not by publishing order, so I write up and down on the timeline filling in parts and pieces as I go!

TTSBC takes place in a modern/slightly sci-fi AU with superheroes, biotech, secrets to hide, trauma to unpack, and as much humor as I can attempt to fit in as well!

Features the local superheroes crushing on each other, anxious writer meets intrepid reporter, the drama professors who can't keep their hands to themselves, penpals gone wild, resident middle-aged married couple who happen to be a mobster and a mad genius, the local cottagecore lesbians, bad boy butterfly and cat lady, protective big sister, Zom-Mom and Sentient Glowstick, a very tired Guy-in-the-Chair with a permanent headache, and more yet to be added! I've got lots of plans left for this AU, so if you're interested, please come check it out!

Tags for the AU are:

#through the sky blue cracks

#ttsbc au

#ttsbc ficlets

Traveling Thieves 🪽

My dark fantasy AU! This one has some heavy themes going on, so I'd encourage reading the tags carefully before jumping in! I'm very proud of how it is turning out, dealing with breaking out conditioned headspaces, survival in a sick system, negotiating power imbalance, the power of friendship (no, really), and of course we've got elves, mercenaries, magic, swords, sorcery, rogues, redstone, and lots more fun stuff like that! Also lots of adorable birbs, one traumatized fiery boy, a mer with an attitude, a good doggo, and hurt/comfort galore! Giving everyone a chance to believe that they've all got a shot at getting lucky.

Tags for the AU are:

#traveling thieves au

#traveling thieves ficlets

Amethysts Scribbling Corner 📝

A little side project of mine to try and stretch my writing style!

Once in awhile, I will be running a poll with prompts that have been sent in via reblogs, replies, asks, and messages! Please send some in if you have any ideas!

Whatever prompt wins the poll, I will write and add to the series!

They can be as broad as a simple one-word prompt, or you can even give a brief description of a couple of sentences! Last thing: Feel free to request where you want the fic to take place! Especially when we're talking Hermit/Traffic/Empires stuff, if you want it to be within the Minecraft server world of that specific series, within a certain one of the Life Series, a modern AU, a fantasy AU, or even TTSBC or Traveling Thieves if you have ideas for them! Just know that if anything requested for TTSBC or Traveling Thieves contradicts or maybe overlaps with any future plans for those AUs, I might not be able to accept them 😓

As far as rules go...I do not write NSFW. I am happy to write romance and let things get a little spicy 🔥 but keep in mind I'll always end up fading to black...also no heavy gore, violence, body horror, things of that nature. I am very much a fan of writing whump and hurt/comfort though, so please send those ideas my way!

Tags for the series are:

#amethysts scribbling corner

I think that's all that going on with me right now...so yeah! I use this blog for my scribbling corner prompts as well as asks about any of my AUs or writing projects! I love getting the chance to ramble about my worldbuilding, so by all means, give me an excuse and I will make entire posts about that sort of thing!

Thanks for coming by! 💖

#intro post #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #hermitcraft #traffic smp #through the sky blue cracks #hermitshipping #worldbuilding #trafficshipping #life series #empires smp #traveling thieves au #amethysts scribbling corner

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rogersideup · 9 months

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Nice to be Kneaded

Chapter sixteen

Crawl Home to You

Series masterlist

Previous Part: Everything will be Okay Next Part: Endgame

Word Count: 7,532

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions of medical equipment, loss, abuse, PTSD, anxiety and depression.

"Psst"

You stopped in your tracks.

Walking the empty main hall of the compound towards where Steve, Scott, Bruce and Nat were conducting a time travel test, the only sound was the echoed thumping of your sneakers against the floor.

Steve advised you to wait it out in the living room until they were done so he knew you'd be safe and sound, then he texted you that they were all done. However, that text came in the middle of a business call, so you told him you'd come down to them when it wrapped up.

So now, here you were, approaching the pull up zone outside and trying to figure out where that noise came from.

"Sunflower!" You heard the loud whisper again.

Knowing that literally everyone here but Steve only ever called you Sugar Cookie, you knew exactly who it was already.

"Where are you?" You giggled, turning around in a complete circle to find him.

Then, he bashfully turned the corner. Arm behind his back, with a cheeky, genuine smile on his face.

"What's gotten into yo-" You asked with a giggle before he fully turned the corner and you saw what he was trying to sneak around. Your laugh turned into a gasp and your jaw happily dropped. "No fucking way!"

He propped his arm up, and attached to it was the red white and blue shield. "Tony just gave it back to me. We made up, it was actually really nice."

You stepped closer to inspect it, "I can't believe I've been with you for this long and I've never seen the shield before!"

Steve laughed at your body language. Your hands were crossed behind your back, and instead of getting even closer, your few steps kept you at a comfortable distance away from it, yet you still leaned forward and squinted your eyes to see all of its details.

"Are you so happy to have it back?" You asked, looking up at him for a brief moment to see his facial expression.

"It's like reuniting with an old friend, feels like no time has passed." His free hand lovingly pat the front of it. You still seemed very timid, and his step forward caused you to take a step back. "Are you... scared of it?"

"What? No." You denied, shaking your head.

As a test he stepped forward again but this time you stayed put. Steve gave you a confused look, unable to gauge your reaction. "You wanna touch it?"

He extended his arm out to you, and you shook your head again. "I can't just touch it!" You exclaimed like he had gone absolute mad.

"Why not?" He asked with a laugh.

"Why not?! I don't even want to breathe too hard near it! That's like an artifact, dude! Are you crazy?!" You explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I have lotion on my hands, and it's gonna get all over it."

"Baby, it's made out of the strongest metal on earth." Steve explained, gently grabbing your wrist and placing your palm flat to the front of it. "See? Nice shield!"

"Woaaahhhh, that's so cool." Your face turned from concerned to amazed before you ran your finger around the grooves. Then, you made a cheeky big smile at Steve, "Can I hold it?"

"Wow, quick turn around time" He noted how fast you went from 0 to 100 as he pulled his arm out of the straps.

He instructed you to hold your arm out before sliding it through one strap, and to grip the other in your palm.

"How's she feeling?" Steve asked. "I can make it tighter."

"It feels so cool!" You said giddily.

"Looks even cooler, Baby" His heart melted at the sight of his love holding it.

"What do you think? Should I get me one of these?" You asked.

"I think you need lots of training and a small lump some of money to obtain this much vibrainum, but I believe in you!" He kissed your cheek and started guiding you down the hallway again, right back towards his room.

"Sooooo, how did the test run go?" You asked, walking tall and proud with the shield on your arm.

"Not too great. We accidentally tuned Scott into a baby and an old man. But pay no mind to any of that because Tony is here, and he figured it out. So he's going to build a real time travel machine, oh- and Rocket and Nebula just got here too. Rocket and Bruce are going to go get Thor."

"Steve..."

"What?" He questioned nonchalantly.

"Is Scott back to normal?" You asked. "Why did you just brush over that part?"

"Oh yeah, he's back to Scott-ish age now." He confirmed.

"Okay great." You giggled.

"Woah!" Sounded from behind you.

Admittedly, it scared you at first. You didn't hear any footsteps, and you definitely didn't sense anyone nearing. You jumped, shrieked, and dropped the shield straight into the floor.

Steve laughed and he swiftly bent down to pick it up, and you turned to address the terrifying elephant in the room.

None other than Tony stark. "Sugar cookie stuck around, huh?"

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Stark." You greeted him while puffing out a breath and clutching your chest.

"She's polite." Tony acknowledged, Steve nodded with pride. "Just Tony works."

"Oh, sorry." You apologized for using an incorrect title.

"Rogers, didn't I just tell you to keep that under wraps because I didn't bring enough for everyone?" Tony joked, pointing at the shield.

"What could I say? She just looked so cute holding it" Steve justified.

"She looked even cuter dropping it." Tony joked. Then his eyes met yours. "You really are beautiful by the way, thanks for sticking around. Contrary to popular belief around here, I do like seeing Rogers happy."

"Thank you, Tony. I'm happy to be here." You responded politely, unsure of how to let your guard drop around the billionaire.

"Steve, meeting room in 10. We have a lot of thinking to do." Tony told Steve, then turned to you. "Would it be inappropriate to tell you o could really go for some brownies right now?"

"No, not at all." You shook your head. "I'll get right on it... Do you happen to know if Raccoons can eat chocolate?"

"This isn't about the build-a-bear." Tony shook his head. "Okay, gotta go. Kinda have half the universe counting on me to build a Time Machine."

And just like that, he walked off.

You sighed. "When he says it like that, I guess he really does deserve some brownies."

Steve giggled and leaned down to kiss your cheek. "I'm guessing you're headed off to the store now?"

"Depends. Do the Avengers have any dark cocoa powder handy?"

With his free hand, Steve reached into his back pocket and handed you the keys to his car. "Nobody here is smart enough to know how to bake anything. Of course we don't have cocoa powder."

You laughed at his statement, a little snort passed through. "I just love you so much, Stevie."

"I can tell, nobody would put up with any of this for any other reason." He acknowledged. "I love you too, Baby."

You rocked up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss. "Use your big brain, smarty pants. They need it."

"Oh, and by the way," Steve started, smug look on his face. "If you're holding the shield and you get scared, best practice is to hold it in front of you and not drop it on the floor. It can't really do much for you all the way down there."

"Yeah, yeah" You playfully rolled your eyes.

Over the next few days, Steve watched you connect with the team in ways he wasn't quite sure he's ever had. Honestly, it came quite naturally for you.

If someone was upset, it's like your brain didn't even have to think about what to do. You'd autopilot hugs and comforting words. And if someone needed a break to rest their tired brain, they'd always come to you for some fun conversation. If anyone fell asleep, you were there to throw a blanket over them.

No matter how happy it made him, he reminded you time and time again that you didn't have to stick around if you didn't want to. The conversations they were having were heavy, and he could tell a lot of them took a toll on you regardless of your efforts to not show that they did.

But you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep at night without being here for him. You wanted to make sure he was okay first and foremost, and you knew he couldn't sleep at night if you weren't there. It was a tricky balance, but one you'd do almost anything to keep the scales from tipping.

Steve had warned you not to get too attached to any of the team, he told you realistically how it works. They get along and work well together, but when the mission was done they all went back to their separate lives. He knew you and your sweet as sugar heart, and he wanted to protect it from the reality of the people he surrounded you with.

Perhaps Sam, Bucky and Nat were the exceptions. He always knew they would be there for him no matter what. Oh how he wished you could've met Bucky, he knew the two of you would be like two peas in a pod.

But in the time it took to get the whole team assembled and the machine built, he could tell his advice to you had flown out the window.

You and Nat were just too precious to separate. And Thor; sweet, poor Thor. He was really having a rough time, and you just couldn't help yourself from comforting him. Steve saw Thor bond with you in a way he had never quite seen him bond with anyone before. You made Rocket how very own tray of blondies since he definitely couldn't eat the brownies. He even saw Tony giving you business advice, that spiraled into him giving you opinions on everything about the new bakery you were working tirelessly on. Tony complemented your business model and taste in interior design on multiple occasions, which was a very high compliment.

Two days before they decided the machine was good enough for a test run, Steve decided that's when he would feel most comfortable bringing you home.

Everything in him was screaming to get you to safety, but his heart was screaming to never let you go. So, he decided the day he brought you home he'd spend the night at home with you, then go back the next morning. He knew a little bit of peace away from the craziness would help him go into the mission with a stronger, more rested mind.

Honestly, driving through the neighborhood with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand being held between both of yours, he had never been so sure that this was his home now.

Even in just the relatively short time away, he missed everything about it. Your shared home, the bed, the running trails, the lake view lookout cliffs, and breakfast burritos from the diner.

He even almost missed the feeling of being watched by Georgia's careful eyes every time he simply exited near the view of her living room window.

When the two of you pulled up the driveway, put the car in park and turned off the transmission, he looked over at you. You were lost in thought, staring out of the window with no awareness to your surroundings. Steve felt a little crack in your heart knowing exactly what you were thinking about.

"Baby," he squeezed your hand, grabbing your attention. "You'll see them again, okay?"

You grinned and squeezed his hand right back. "I just want you guys to stay safe, that's all."

"We will be." He nodded. "You have to know that saving the world is the goal but getting home to you is number one priority. We all have too much to lose to put anything on the line."

You leaned over the center console to give him a kiss. "I trust you."

Instead of a response, his eyes were open when you pulled away, staring straight ahead. Instead of asking what he was looking at, you followed his eyes and saw Georgia conveniently out on her porch.

Rather than the perfectly put together version of Georgia everyone knew, she looked... off. Rather than a proper outfit, she was in comfortable clothes. The color in her face looked drained, other than her cheeks which were blushed pink.

This time you weren't so sure she came out to see what the two of you were up to. Especially when she slowly walked towards the railing of her porch and barely made it the few steps it took to get there. Stumbling over her own two feet to grab onto the railing, and even when she wasn't walking, she was slowly swaying like she couldn't even stand up.

"Something's wrong." You mumbled, unsure if it was to yourself or the superhero in the drivers seat.

You could tell he was thinking the same thing as you, and every issue you've ever had with her completely flew out of the window and wasn't even a thought in either of your minds as you both un-clicked your seatbelts and got out of the car as fast as you could.

Your legs carried yourself over to her faster than you even looked both ways to check for cars before crossing the street. Steve's legs were longer, they got him to her first. He walked up her porch stairs two at a time before putting his hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"Are you alright?" He questioned, full of concern.

"I'm sorry, I just haven't been feeling good an-" She started explaining, before noticing you approaching right behind Steve.

"What's wrong, Georgia?" You wanted her to keep going.

"Baby, you know I wouldn't be asking for help if I didn't need it." She told you.

You were even more worried as you could hear shakiness and mumbling in her voice. She could barely separate words on her tongue, the syllables were slurring together.

"It's okay, tell me what's going on." You reassured her, caring a lot more about her well being than anything that's happened between the three of you.

Steve was already three steps ahead of this situation. He was looking around and making a plan in his head, he knew just by looking at her that she was very very sick with something. Just with one hand on her shoulder he could feel the heat radiating off of her yet her arms had visible goosebumps.

"I just have the flu or something, but I can't go- go to the store to get any medicine." She slurred.

Her swaying was getting worse, eyes growing heavier by the moment. Getting increasingly more concerned by the second, Steve had to make a judgment call.

"Baby." Steve got your attention, now with one hand on Georgia's back and another on her upper arm. "Call the paramedics." He mouthed as to not make Georgia more concerned.

You nodded, understanding why he didn't speak it out loud. "I'm going to go grab you a few things from my house, why don't you let Steve take you inside so you can get comfortable okay? I'll be right back."

"Really I'm f-fine. Just need some cold medicine or someth-" She didn't finish her sentence.

"Georgia?" Steve tried getting her to respond, but her eyes closed.

Having already bracing for this, Georgia became unconscious and fell backwards onto Steve, but he caught her gracefully before she even had a chance to come close to the floor.

You pulled out the phone and immediately called for an ambulance as Steve set her down as gently as he possibly could before sitting down next to her and rolling her head to the side.

He was worried with a fever this high she would have a seizure following the loss of consciousness, and while you were on the phone, your big concerned eyes found his calm ones.

You answered all the questions as best you could before the dispatcher told you the paramedics would be there as soon as they could, then you hung up.

Calm as a clam, Steve sat with her with a watchful eye.

"Do you want to stay with her, or do you want to grab me a few things in the meantime?" He asked.

"I'll stay" you nodded, feeling overwhelmed and worried sick.

"Okay, I'll be right back." He nodded, swiftly standing up and jogging across the street.

He came back not even a full minute later with everything he needed to start treatment while waiting for proper medical care.

You watched as he slipped a pillow from the porch swing under her head, then put a cold wet rag on her forehead, and put down a cold water bottle just in case she woke up. Sitting down next to you on the ground, he reached out and let you play with his hand.

"She'll be okay" He explained. "I think she has a really high fever and hasn't been trying to keep it down enough. They'll probably take her and keep her for a few days, but it's an easy fix. Nothing to be worried about."

"How do you know?" You questioned sadly.

"I spent the first 23 years of my life sick as a dog." He grinned emphatically. "I know because I've been here so many times before."

You nodded silently and played with his fingers before a quiet tear slipped down your cheek and you tried your hardest to not alert Steve of your emotions, but he was always far more observant than you ever hoped he would be.

"Hey, baby." Steve pouted. "Talk to me, are you scared?"

"I'm sad." You corrected. "I care about her and love her so much, and I still do even after all this time and everything that's happened. I don't understand why it has to be like this."

"I'm sorry, Honey." Steve pouted. Though unspoken, his apology had a double meaning. I'm sorry it had to be this way, and I'm sorry for being the wedge in the strained relationship.

"I could've been here taking care of her had she just heard me out and opened her heart to you. It never had to be this way. It should've never come to this." You shook your head. "And now I feel guilty that she's alone. I feel like I have everyone and she has no one."

"That's not your fault." Steve reminded you gently. "You aren't the one who decided for any of this to happen."

"I hope she can see that I still love her, and that you're a good man when all of this is said and done because I hate this stupid grudge."

Although Steve still admittedly hated what she did to you, and wanted to be petty and hold onto it for as long as he could, he understood where you were coming from.

It reminded him of his relationship with Tony. There was a long time in which he thought it was past the point of reconciliation, but not all things were impossible, and the love he had for him never went away.

"You have the best heart, and she's lucky to still be loved by you even after all this time" Steve told you, both of you could hear sirens blaring in the distance.

"She has a sister I should call, do you think I should go to the hospital with her?"

"I think you should do whatever will make you feel like you're doing the right thing." Steve advised you. "I know this is tricky, there's no right or wrong answer, but what we already did was the right thing to do. Anything else is above and beyond."

The sirens got too loud to even respond to him, and the paramedics rushed up to to take her and treat her with urgency. But no matter how quickly they worked, a few concerned neighbors still came out to ask you and Steve about what was going on.

Apparently the nice couple two doors down from her had formed a pretty close friendship, and the wife made a pretty mindless decision to get into the back of the ambulance with her with almost no second thought. It did a lot to ease your mind, especially knowing she wasn't as along as you once thought she was.

After calling her sister who also assured you that she was on her way to the hospital, you felt a lot better and decided to stay home and spend time with Steve who would be quite literally traveling through time in just a short day away.

Eventually you dragged your two feet through the front door, Steve closing it and locking it behind you as you kicked off your shoes.

"Straight to the couch, young lady. I don't want to hear any if's, and's, or butt's about it!" Steve joked.

You followed his instructions with giggle and you plopped down right before he did. It wasn't long before he had you cuddled up to him, with the fluffy blanket on top of the two of you.

Face to face, he gently pushed your hair behind your ear before letting his palm warm your cheek.

"Thank you for helping her even though you had no reason to." You spoke quietly. With barely any distance, words didn't need to travel far anyways.

"I always have a reason to. Helping is what I do best."

Non-verbally agreeing with him, you came to terms with your own thoughts. "These next few days are going to be really hard."

"They will be, I don't think there's anyway we can sugar coat that." Steve agreed. "But I believe in our ability to get through hard times together."

"There's no one else I'd rather be by my side."

"Couldn't agree more." He grinned. "Can I add two more codes to the sunflowers?"

"What do you want to add?" You asked.

"I think in case of emergency, we should do 4 blinks." He suggested gently.

"But there's not going to be an emergency." You raised an eyebrow.

"If course there isn't" Steve agreed with you, though you both knew the chance was pretty high. "And on the contrary I think one long blink should signal that I'm okay. I want you to have peace of mind and a quick way to communicate that to you whenever we need it."

"Ooh, I love that one!" You enthused, earning the sweetest smile from your favorite boy.

"I knew you would"

"What do you want to do before you leave in the morning?" You questioned, fully devoted to making him as happy and relaxed as possible.

"You." He stated smugly.

You gasped and your cheeks immediately turned pink before hiding your face into his neck. He laughed as you squealed like a teenage girl, because even after all these years his sexual comments still pulled great reactions out of you. "Naughty!... but I think we can arrange that."

"You're so cute" he giggled, now cradling the back of your head with his hand.

"I'm trying to hide that I'm blushing!"

"Well it's not so secret anymore, is it?"

You lifted your head to glare at him, and sure enough, your cheeks were painted rosy pink. "What else do you want to do?"

"This is fine by me." Steve shrugged. "Just wanna spend time with you."

"You want a breakfast burrito tomorrow morning, don't you?" You narrowed your eyes.

"I want to spend time eating breakfast burritos with you." He reiterated,

"I know how to read in between the lines, Baby." You giggled.

Besides the forefront of your mind being full of concern over Georgia, Steve, and the Avengers, the two of you managed to spend a really nice day away from the chaos.

You slipped in one phone call to make sure Georgia was okay, then the rest of your time was occupied by Steve and Steve only. Long conversations ranging from heavy topics to funny ones that made the two of you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe, to making sweet sweet love that never failed to make you feel so appreciated and your souls interconnected.

And just as important as making you feel loved during sex was to Steve, making sure you felt just as loved after the fact was arguably even higher priority for him. He never could let go of hearing all the ways you were used and manipulated in the past. All he ever wanted was to make a life for you in which you never had to even be worried about feeling that way every again.

Every single year you've been together has been a constant reminder to him that you always felt safe, loved, and the most comfortable version of yourself when he was around. But that didn't mean he would ever stop being as attentive as he could to you. And you loved to return the favor to him as well.

So after the fun came even more fairytale romantic intimacy in the form of a long, hot shower. The two of you washed each others hair, exchanged kisses, sweet words, and his strong hands even gave you a nice relaxing shoulder massage.

One thing he quickly learned is that a baker's shoulders were always tense, always over worked, and most of the time your right shoulder was hurting you. So some shoulder rubs always released mental and physical tension, and it almost always made you sleepy.

That night Steve felt a sense of accomplishment when he successfully lulled you to sleep after being convinced you wouldn't sleep a single wink until the mission was over, Georgia was no longer sick, and everyone was home safe.

But when the two of you cuddled in up in nothing more than a sports bra, some underwear, and your softest blankets, the warmth and comfort of his bare skin and sweet words sent you straight to dreamland without even processing that it was happening.

Not a single thought in your brain could keep you awake when it was full of nothing but thoughts of how much you loved him, and how lucky you were to be loved by the gentle giant.

When his big frame engulfed you like the cutest little teddy bear, your soft and even breathing always knocked him out quickly too. Though the two of you weren't quite married yet, he was a firm believer in the happy wife, happy wife notion.

You woke up the morning of his departure a lot less relaxed than you were last night, and you could tell that was the case for him too considering he was awake, yet quietly hiding away with his face shoved into your chest and the blankets pulled up to his ear.

For as long as the two of you could afford, you played with the short hair on the back of his head, squeezed him tight and peppered gentle kisses to the crown of his skull.

"Good morning, handsome." You spoke quietly, only to be responded with by him shaking his head. You laughed and gave him another kiss knowing he definitely wasn't ready to start the day.

A few more minutes of cuddles later, he finally poked his head and peaked at you through his eyelashes. "G'morning."

"Maybe if we keep sleeping you don't have to leave." You suggested, feeling the mutual dread over the lack of unknown.

"I just tried that, it didn't work." Steve pouted.

Your arms squeezed him as tight as they could for just a few seconds, and he appreciated every second of you trying to love him to death. That was until his phone ringing interrupted the peace.

He groaned in complaint while you reached over to grab it for him. "It's Tony"

"Let it go to voice mail." Steve half joked.

"You want me to send Tony Stark to voice mail?" You raised an eyebrow.

"It helps keep him humble" He rolled into his back, squinting his eyes to hide them from the harsh daylight.

You clicked the answer button and put Steve's phone to your ear. "Hello, Anthony."

"Oh, even lovelier than hearing Rogers' voice in the morning." He commented. "Where is he, by the way?"

"He's really busy right now." You joked with a smile, everyone knew it was bullshit. He was now hiding his eyes in the ditch of his elbow.

"I'm just gonna assume he's pooping. How are you? Happy to be home?"

"I'm great, but I miss you already."

Steve let out a little complaint, he couldn't believe how well you and Tony got along. He should've expected it, you got along with everyone, but there was something about Tony being able to butter you up that just really got under his skin. He poked your ribs, so you put the call on speaker phone.

"Miss you too, Sugar Cookie. I've been meaning to ask you. When are you and Rogers getting married? If he hasn't proposed yet just let me know and I'll pester him about it. I'll even pitch in for a ring, make sure it's real pretty."

"You're so inva-" Steve started.

"Helpful. Thank you." You cut him off.

"That got him here quick!" Tony noted.

"I think the wedding will be sometime next year, but I'll make sure you get a hand delivered invitation."

"Steve? Do you need some money?" Tony asked, earning a laugh from you.

"I'm more than fine, Tony. I have a big boy job." Steve denied.

"Oh! It's actually funny you bring that up because I was talking to a few of your colleagues, they were all thinking we do the whole time heist thing today instead of tomorrow. So if you want to keep your big boy job to buy that rock we were just talking about, you should probably get here like... soon-ish."

"Okay, then I'll be there soon-ish." He agreed.

"How soon is soon and how ish-y is the ish?" Tony asked.

"Well the soon part is the whole flying a jet thing, and the ish is eating a breakfast burrito and getting dressed so give me 2 hours."

"Hey sugar cookie?" Tony called your attention.

"What's up?"

"When this is all done, Team party at the bakery?"

"The doors are always open for you guys." You agreed.

"Great. See you soon. Rogers, see you soon-ish." Tony said before hanging up.

Both of you dragged yourselves out of bed to put some clothes on and eat breakfast together before sending him off.

Outside of the diner you two hovered next to his car, leaning on it, trying to selfishly take every single moment you could. He briefed you on everything that would go down, you soaked up the information, and unfortunately it was time to say goodbye.

"Remember, I'll be gone for a few hours, but for you it'll only be a few minutes. I'll let you know when I get back by holding down the sunflower, okay?"

"Okay. One long glow." You nodded. "You're going to do great, Baby. And by all means, you're fucking time traveling. Enjoy it, but be safe."

"Always." He squeezed your hands. "I've got the most important thing in the whole world right here, nothing else comes before that. Shit, even if I die and they bury me underneath a concrete slab, you best believe I'm climbing my way out and crawling my way home to you"

"First of all, don't say that. Second of all, don't even think that. Third of all, that sounds horrifying. And fourth of all, that's really sweet, thank you." You schooled him with a giggle.

"I just love you that much!" He enthused.

"I love you too." You smiled. "I'd help dig you out, by the way."

"Teamwork makes the dream work." He cupped your cheeks and gave you a kiss. "When you see that I'm back, stay home, alright? We don't know what the world is going to look like when we bring everyone back. I want you to stay safe too."

"Got it" You agreed with a nod, and one more kiss. "You still have your good luck charm?"

"That $20 was the first thing that made it to my new suit." He reassured you.

"Perfect. Go get 'em Soldier."

"Yes ma'am." He followed your orders, opening his car door. "I love you!"

"I love you more."

Upon his departure, you knew you needed to keep yourself busy. So you decided to eat your own pride and bring a bouquet of flowers to the hospital to check up on Georgia and hopefully start the mend of your broken relationship.

She was asleep when you got there, but her sister let you know she was doing well and will be home tomorrow. Not wanting to disrupt, you left the flowers then made your way back to your second home.

The bakery welcomed you in with the smell of fresh baked cookies and a warm waft of air from the ovens that felt like a big hug.

Time always flew by when you became truly focused on running the place and taking care of orders, but it was never enough to completely rid you of the knot in your stomach you were trying so hard to ignore all day long.

Before you knew it, your sunflower lit up with a big long glow as you were adding on final touches to the cake on your turn table. The last one of the day. You send him a little three glow message to acknowledge that he was back safe and that you loved him before wrapping up at the bakery and heading home like he told you too.

The sun was starting its decent as you were getting comfortable at home. You had gotten into pajamas, pulled your hair back into a ponytail, and cleaned the kitchen as you anticipated hearing all the details about Steve's day.

You wondered where exactly he had gone, what year he went to and what happened while he was there. It took a lot to hold back your desperate yearning to call him, you knew he was probably busy and exhausted from the day he had.

The calmness in your heart turned into a brick in your stomach when you got a text, and clicked the notification on your screen.

Steve: Hey baby, Danielle is on her way to our place right now. Please call me when she gets there <3

Danielle was a decorator of yours at the bakery back before the snap. She quickly became a very close friend of yours and Steve's through the years. Though she left the bakery for a corporate job, she was always there for you both when you needed her.

The knowledge of her arrival and him wanting to talk to you after made your heart thump out of your chest and your legs weaken with anxiety. You knew Steve. If there was bad news he couldn't deliver straight to your face, he would never give it to you over phone or text if he knew you were alone.

So sending a trusted and close friend over to you for support and company before laying it on you was definitely what was about to happen.

It was barely even five whole minutes before there was a gentle knock on the door, and you rushed to open if like your life depended on it.

She stood there with a sad, sympathetic look on her face. She was in sweatpants and a shirt much like you, a bag slung on her shoulder. The pout on her lips and big eyes full of dread told you that there was definitely something wrong.

"Dani, what happened?" You didn't even bother saying hello, this was way beyond that. "Steve told me he was okay. He's okay, right?

She stepped inside your house, and quickly set her bag down. "He's fine, I just talked to him. But you need to call him, he will tell you everything."

You sunk into yourself, and Danielle wrapped her arm around you. "Come on, let's get comfortable on the couch."

With hands so shaky and legs so wobbly did just that before you grabbed your phone, and called Steve. It barely even rang once before he picked up.

"Hi, Sunflower." He spoke, you could hear the bad news in his voice before he even said what happened. He sounded sad, his voice hoarse, raspy, and deeper than usual.

"Oh baby." You felt a physical pain in your chest just from him speaking two greeting words to you. It was like you could feel his pain. "What happened? I thought everything was okay?"

"The mission is okay, we got all six of the stones. We're working on getting them in the gauntlet. But, Honey..."

"No. No buts. You always tell me no buts." Your heart cracking more and more by the second.

"I know. I'm so sorry I have to tell you this but Nat, she's gone." He finally got the words out.

"What do you mean she's gone?" You needed him to clarify, pure disbelief and denial racing through your mind.

"We didn't realize the soul stone was only retrievable with a trade. A soul for a soul. She sacrificed herself. I'm so sorry." That's when the tears started. You hurt for yourself, the amount of grief that flooded over you felt immense, but mostly you hurt for Steve. Steve was in a family of four before he met you. Him, Sam, Bucky and Nat. Nat was the only one he had left and now she was gone in an instant. "I know you two were close, and I hope you know how much your friendship meant to her. You really were a light in her life especially recently when things felt so dark. She told me all the time how much she loved you."

"Can't you just go back again? Just get her?" You cried.

"I wish we could." He gently denied, his own tears flowing quietly. "This is irreversible, we would do anything to get her back if we could. You know I would."

"I'm so sorry, Honey. Are you okay?" You questioned feeling so awful for him.

"I'm devastated." He admitted, his voice shook even though he was trying to be strong. "But we still have a job to do. We can't let her have died for nothing."

Understanding the heartbreak and unfathomable amount of pressure this added to his shoulders, all you wanted to do was hug him. "I wish I could be there for you."

"This is awful." Steve cried and laughed at the same time. "I'd do anything just to be with you, yet the only thing that would make me feel worse than having you states away is having you here in the compound. I need you to be safe."

"I know, I know." You understood where he was coming from. "How's everyone handling it?"

"Everyone is upset and not it great spirits, but again, we have to keep going." Steve sighed. "It's been a really long day."

"I could only imagine." You shook your head with a sad sniffle. Half of your sadness was hearing him cry on the phone and not being able to do anything about it.

"We're going to rest up tonight, and finish this damn thing in the morning. I'll be home the very second I can be."

"Okay, but try to take care of yourself in the meantime. You can't be saving the world without saving yourself first." You reminded him.

"Are you going to be okay?" Steve asked you sympathetically.

"Obviously this is devastating, but I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"I always worry about you." He denied your claim.

"I know you do." He managed to pull a smile out of you. "But don't let that distract you from the bigger goal here."

There was a pause on his end, a sad sniffle, then a sigh. "I'm exhausted."

"It'll be over soon, Baby." You reminded him, but deep down you knew exactly what he meant.

He wasn't sleepy, his body wasn't sore and his mind was alright beyond the obvious, but there were unspoken truths about his life recently that he just couldn't get himself to verbalize.

Steve was exhausted of being Captain America.

You knew that without him even having to say it straight to your face. He told you in little ways, like how every time he left Greenwood to report to duty his feet would drag out of the house and his back would slump. When he was gone away from you, your sunflower would light up so much sometimes you were concerned that whatever was inside of it to make it glow would burn out one day. Then when he got back, the very first thing he would do after greeting you was put all of his tactical gear completely out of sight so he could get it out of his mind.

Just as secretly as he kept his longing for a life where Cap wasn't around anymore, you secretly hoped he was catching on to your subtle reassurance that there was so much more to him than the stars and strips he's worn since he was only 23 years old.

The complexities of his existence never ceased to amaze you, and much like you felt since the moment you found out the cutie next door was a superhero, his job was one of the least important qualities you found in him.

His sensitive heart, compassion, and love for life would always remain regardless of the status of a shield on his arm and a star on his chest.

You didn't need him to be strong, you just needed him to be happy.

Truly, wholly, and undeniably happy.

So when you said it would be over soon, you hoped he understood that you already knew what was to come. All you wanted was to help him make peace with what you already knew.

Steve Rogers always has been and always will be enough.

You were met with more silence. He was completely shut down, and that broke your heart even more. You knew he never used to be like this, he'd tell you all the stories from before the Civil War about how he lived his life bouncing from mission to mission, plucking off one threat at a time all while meeting and losing people along the way without a single glance at what happened behind him.

What broke your heart even more was that you knew he'd wake up tomorrow morning and put on his brave face. Not a single complaint, not a single tear, not a single speck of anything considered to be a lack of bravery would slip past him just so everyone on the team would have someone to look to.

"I miss this morning." He admitted, breaking down as a deep inner thought slipped passed his composure.

"There's going to be another morning tomorrow." You wiped tears off your cheeks, Danielle wrapped her arms around you and hugged you tight."But then there will be another morning the day after tomorrow, and it'll only get a little better every day after that. You remind me of that all of the time."

"Even just hearing your voice has made me feel infinitely better."

"Call me whenever you need to, okay? Even if it's in the middle of the night I'll be here for you." You reminded him.

"Same goes to you, you know that."

"Of course I do. But you seem tired, I think you should get some well deserved rest."

As you said that, he allowed your words to be true in his mind. He did deserve rest.

"If all goes well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"It's going to be just fine, so I will see you tomorrow."

"I'll dream of you until then." Steve said, making your tears fall just a little harder because you still didn't know what you did to deserve to be loved the way he loved you. "I love you, Sunflower."

"Goodnight, Honey. I love you too."

When the line disconnected, you accepted the big hug your best friend wrapped you up in and all the way in New York Steve dug his face into his pillow, and clutched the pillow you slept on not even a full 48 hours ago to his chest.

Regardless of the distance, you both hoped that the result of tomorrow promised a better future and a long, happy life chalk full of everyone you loved.

If anyone could do that for you, and the whole universe, it was Steve Rogers. He was more than enough.

Next: Endgame

Tag list: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84 @avid-fic-reader @royalwriteroftheuniverse @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bitchy-bi-trash @crazyunsexycool @openup-yourmind @selella @kattreffic @benedict-squirtle @magnificentsaladllama @theroyalmanatee @calwitch @avengersinitiative2012 @rogersbarber @daddywattpad4945

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mirai-desu · 2 months

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On the MSATD News

I didn't have time to post a knee-jerk reaction (which those of you from the Downton days know I was apt to do - thank you to all my long term mutuals of my side blog for sticking with me through those days), as I saw the news as I was getting ready to head out for work and it's been… a bit of a day.

Suffice it to say… I am devastated. And my initial reaction was (well after cursing), that it should have ended with S4, but with a different (happier) conclusion. It's called Miss Scarlet AND THE DUKE for a reason. And after all that happened in S4… it really feels like… what was it all for?? Especially if they knew WHEN FILMING THIS?? "Goodbye for now" is NOT "goodbye forever." They really, really really fumbled this.

There's a lot of theories going around, and I will admit it's too hard for me to listen to Stuart's new interview, but going off what other's have said and the parts of the transcript I did manage to read… I just cannot feel like this was actually his decision unless there's something else going on with him (either in his personal life or maybe he has some secret role he's got, because supposedly he hasn't worked since he did ADR on S4). He's been the captain of the ship, and he has always been enthusiastic with discussing the show and had just great insight into playing William. It doesn't feel like he himself was ready to move onto other things (and that's not even how it's worded - some BS about how the show needed it him to be gone for ~longevity~ of the show), like I've seen with other actors are on shows (e.g. Dan Stevens). He still promoted S3 (which came out in the UK after they filmed S4), he still even promoted S4! He was an executive producer for S4!!! Nothing makes sense!

So if it's due to RN… why keep having the other characters say William was only going to be gone a year? Why bother to have the flashback? why bother to have him stay at at Eliza's to recover?? hell I'm surprised they just didn't keep in the coma then--

But really, why even bother to have Eliza write to him? Or have Ivy say what she said to her?? The time apart was supposed to be them looking at their options. They literally foreshadowed him joining Eliza at her agency upon his return. So… what happened?

If it was actually for personal reasons that Stuart left, he has a right to his privacy. But then they should have rewritten S4 to be the end then, since they knew all this time. I can't believe we are getting the full story on this, one way or the other. The more and more I think about it... I do think it was RN's doing though.

Just two nights ago I drafted up a whole meta extolling how one of the best things this show has done has been how they developed William and how he grew as a character. The progression he made as he not only accepted Eliza having a career but encouraging her. His mentorship of Fitzroy. How he came from nothing, from a teenager living on the streets, to become an inspector at Scotland Yard. But they have chosen to toss that all out the window.

Who knows, maybe S5 ends with Eliza deciding to go to New York. But it doesn't seem like they are handling this like Babington's absence in Sanditon. They will make Eliza quickly fall for someone else, and slap fans in the face who have been following their friends to lovers slow burn for five years (because we had to wait for S2 in the first place thanks to the pandemic). And what sucks is that we still got promo saying they are in love with each other. From Stuart, from Kate, from Rachael New herself. We have still gotten promo promoting the romance. Why not have them have a big fight then or something, idk. They gave us hope. And you know what Fellowes says about false hope.

So I'm just supposed to believe that William gives up on Eliza and doesn't return…? No, I cannot. As much as we hated the deaths on DA when they wrote out actors, at least those characters still died in love with their spouses. And while I'd still be foaming at the mouth in anger if they killed him off… yeah.

William's last lines of the show is a flashback including him saying "is it all worth it?" And the answer is… no it's not.

#yeah I'm risking putting this in the tag #miss scarlet and the duke #msatd spoilers #honestly thinking about every damn scene they ever had #WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR #thought of the jewelry store scene and died #also does this make Arabella right? gross.#also I guess Alibi doesn't give a shit about the ratings for the last two episodes left to air in the UK #also I didn't bring up Theo J*mes because he left after S1 and it was different #if they recast William with Ben Lloyd-Hughes I'd take it #(wouldn't be the same but you know)#but don't make him a new character it doesn't work here with William still alive #I'm tired of men going to America #iykyk

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suratan-zir · 7 months

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Anon (whom I blocked so don't try to send me more asks), have you gone to any Palestinians' tumblr blogs and asked them why they don't post about Ukraine? No? Why? Seems like a stupid and innappropriate thing to ask?

I can't believe I have to say this, but a "quick search" through anyone's blog doesn't give you an adequate representation of what they care and don't care about.

I also didn't post about how the russians are currently demolishing the town of Avdiivka, which is a much closer place to me than Gaza. It's a town I've been to many times, I know people from there, it breaks my heart. Yet a "quick search" would show you nothing on this topic on my blog.

I also didn't post about the global warming, the Uyghur genocide in China, heroin and meth addiction epidemic in Afghanistan, female "circumcision", every human right violation in North Korea and so much more. And a quick search on my blog would probably show you that I care more about pickled watermelons than all the aforementioned horrible things. Because I did write about pickled watermelons.

It's so convenient for you to write anonymously so that no one can do a quick search through your blog.

For everyone else: again, I can't believe I have to say these things, but apparently I do. I don't support any genocide of any nationality. What Israel is doing to people in Gaza is genocide, no denying it. What Hamas is doing to Israel is terrorism. Two things can be true at the same time.

There will always be civilian casualties in any conflict, but deliberately targeting civilians is a crime that has no justification. No, killing babies and raping women is not resistance. By the way, by equating all Palestinians with Hamas, you're doing them a huge disservice. The only reason I said something about Israel at all was because I was horrified by the public reaction to atrocities, especially on tumblr. I was in shock that so many people can justify these things. I still am.

Back to anon. You don't get to tell me what to think, feel or post. It's even funny, a few weeks ago someone else came at me for posting tragic or I guess to them "political" stuff. They said tumblr is not the platform for that. Now you're telling me I can't be considered a decent human being unless I post about x/y/z. Maybe you can fuck off?

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thefiery-phoenix · 8 months

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Hello. How are you? I hope I'm not bothering you. I'm so sorry your old blog is gone. But I believe you can start over. I wish you the best of luck on your new blog. Can I make a request if requests are open? You shared it once. I wonder if you can do it like part 2? Can you share more for yandere husbands Pollux Black, Cygnus Black, Orion Black, Alphard Black and Severus Snape ? Please

Don't worry you're not bothering me dear, and thank you for the kind wishes for my new blog, I really appreciate the love and support I've received from all of you during those difficult times. I was pretty dejected when my blog got deleted for no reason but it's okay, I'll start over, a fresh start and sure, let's get into this

I'll have to write only for Pollux and Cygnus unfortunately, you've requested for too many characters 😭 Please request for not more than 2 or 3 characters at least for a scenario next time, it gets overwhelming to write for more. I sincerely apologize 😔

Pollux Black: Pollux might love you and be obsessed with you but if you dare to act up in front of him he's not going to appreciate it. As much as he cares for you he's really not above using the Cruciatus curse on you when you misbehave with him and demand for silly things like your freedom and wanting to see your friends and family. He's your family now, you're supposed to be content staying with him, he's already providing everything for you despite your constant tantrums and protests which he's willingly and patiently tolerating, and yet you say you don't want to be with him?

As soon as those words come out of your mouth, you'll be wishing you'd never said that in the first place judging by the dark look that's now plastered across his face. After he's done with torturing you for a while, he'll lock you in a room and ignore you till you apologize to him by literally begging him to pay attention to you, which is what he wants. You better hope and pray to whatever God you believe in because this deranged lunatic will hunt down every friend, family member and person you've come in contact with at least once in your lifetime and murder them right in front of you

If it's a random stranger who bumped into you on some random day, even better as he'll taunt you for having the blood of them on your hands and gaslight you by saying how all this is your fault because you refused to love him and reciprocate his feelings back. This is why I called him a deranged lunatic. When you finally do apologize, his personality will change drastically, like going from a zero to 360 in just a matter of seconds. He'll gently kiss your hands and tell you that you've been a good little darling for him as he patches you up, this bipolar MF 😒 All in all, just be good and you won't have a hard time dealing with this lunatic and try not to make him jealous by mentioning other people in front of him, things will get messy

Cygnus Black: Cygnus is quite fond of books and if you're a writer, lady luck just graced you with good fortune, however of course, as usual there will be consequences since well, is a Black after all. Cygnus will allow you to pursue whatever interests and hobbies you have after he's taken you because he knows you'll be lonely staying cooped up indoors all day long without magic. If you're fond of art, he'll get you the best art supplies galleons and knuts can buy from a reputed store. If you're fond of reading books he'll gladly join you when you're reading as he slowly wraps a protective arm around your waist and pulls you in closer to him while the two of you read. He won't really mind it if you decide to lay down on his lap, he'll be thrilled that you're finally trusting him after so long as he secretly basks in his moment of victory and gently runs his fingers through your hair

This man is territorial and possessive, you can't do anything without taking his permission first and unfortunately that rule applies to you wanting to get your books published for everyone else to read. You decided to ask him about this one day during dinner. He noticed there was something on your mind and you were unusually quiet, at first he thought of using Occlumency on you to find out what you were thinking about, however he decided to be generous and gave you the chance to explain yourself. He'll most definitely use his Occlumency skills on you later though, you know, just as a precautionary measure to make sure you aren't thinking about anything silly like trying to get away from him

"You're quiet today...quiet than usual, I can tell there's something on your mind" he said in a nonchalant voice as he sipped his Earl Grey tea and surveyed you with a calculating look in his eyes, silently trying to draw an answer from you. You slightly fidgeted with the hem of your robes and spoke "I was wondering if I could publish a few of my works to the public..." You were greeted with silence in return as you mentally winced at yourself for coming up with this idea in the first place. You could tell he didn't appreciate the question you've just asked him judging by the way he was starting at you with an unreadable expression on his face

He got up from his chair and strode towards you as he lifted your chin with his finger. "Dear, why would you want insignificant pathetic vermin to tell you how good your work is when you already have me? Is my presence for you not enough?" You were struggling to think of saying something that wouldn't anger him as he continued to speak. "Your writing is one of a kind my love, the others... they're like mere flies who have no experience when it comes to writing, they don't know how creative and beautiful your mind is when you imagine something and put those very thoughts on a parchment. And yet some of them dare criticize you, your work is reserved for me and ONLY me, they don't know you like I do.... the sooner you get rid of this silly notion of yours, the better" as you nodded your head silently and kept eating your dinner

Sure enough he kept a close eye on you whenever you wrote something to make sure your writing didn't go public. Part of him was worried that you'd include some secret message in your writing and then he'd lose you, no.... he couldn't lose you.... he won't lose you, you're his and he'll make sure people pay dearly if they dared to take you away from him

#yandere harry potter #yandere harry potter x reader #yandere harry potter scenarios #yandere harry potter imagines #yandere harry potter characters x reader #yandere pollux black #yandere pollux black x reader #yandere cygnus black #yandere cygnus black x reader #yandere black family #yandere black family headcanons

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moonlit-positivity · 4 months

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I think i can finally put into words why I hate the concept of forcing people into this idealistic version of ""self care uwu"" because none of these recovery blogs will actually recognize how agonizingly painful it is to be abused as a kid, being constantly told you're a fuck up, having your body boundaries violated by your parents'/adults' authoritative power trips, and be basically treated like a slave in which you as the child are seen as dirty, filthy, sl*tty, greedy, "asking for it" etc. AND THEN ONE DAY YOU LEAVE THAT SHIT AND NOW SUDDENLY THE ANTIDOTE IS TO ""LOVE YOURSELF""???????? HOW COME WE DONT TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO GRASP THE CONCEPT OF BEING LIED TO AS A FUCKING CHILD TO THE POINT OF SELF SACRIFICE FEELING MORE SAFE THAN THE CONCEPT OF YOU BEING TREATED LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?????? Because that shit is humiliating, to actually sit with the crushing realization that you don't actually have to continue believing the shit they brainwashed you to believe about yourself- and that can be equally as traumatizing and I don't think I ever see this talked about in recovery spaces- how the concept of neglecting your hygiene, self care, self sabotage, etc, can actually be a mine field of self persecution but the fact that it's actually so necessary and needed just as much because it's you basically taking back your right to choose how you want to handle this until you can actually stomach the grim reality a little bit better. And I wish wish wish so much that more recovery spaces would talk about this, because it's actually so NORMAL. To neglect care and self sabotage, because it's how you need to control the things you went through. Like yeah of course it's toxic and it doesn't feel good, but thats the point- NONE of this recovery bullshit "feels good", not when youre having to come face to face with your own family/loved ones/caregivers etc and the horrible bullshit they put you through, when you were in no position to fight back-- when will we FINALLY acknowledge that the most important aspect to healing and recovery is YOUR OWN AUTONOMY-- YOUR RIGHT TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF- what ""self care"" and all this other bs is supposed to look like??? Because for some of us- a vast majority I'd wager- have NEVER EVEN HEARD THE CONCEPT THAT WE DESERVE BETTER TO BEGIN WITH?????? Like yeah okay!!! LETS TALK ABOUT THAT!!! let's talk about how not taking a shower can actually be a self inflicted punishment and the antidote is not to simply ""force yourself to take the shower"" but to rather allow yourself to have this moment of misery so you can foster a little more self compassion for what you've gone through??? And acknowledge that even if you can't take a shower it doesn't change the fact that you are inherently worth the effort to allow yourself full control over this situation???? Because in those moments it's rarely about the inability to shower- it's about how id rather be smelly and stinky because as a child my parent took full liberty over my body without my consent and now as an adult in recovery this is how I've chosen to reclaim my own autonomy over what I had to go through and still be loved and cared for anyway????? SELF CARE IS NOT ALWAYS FORCING YOURSELF TO FEEL BETTER. SOMETIMES IT IS SO NECESSARY AND VALID TO LET YOURSELF ROT JUST BECAUSE YOU GET TO CHOOSE. YOU GET TO DECIDE. CAN WE PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THIS TOO!!!

#ptsd #recovery #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #self care #positivity #autonomy #emotional freedom #emotions #emotional work #self sabotage #anger

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blackbackedjackal · 10 months

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I love how there was 0 reading comprehension with that ask.

I spent nearly $7000 ($6300 for the ER and $500 for his GP) for a /diagnosis/ only to find out Lobo has cancer that can't be treated without putting him through uneciassiary stress. I won't be pursuing any further treatments other than things to make him more comfortable while he's going through this (fluid removal, special diet, and medication).

I had saved up around 5k in our collective emergency medical fund for me AND him. That's what that money was saved for (over the course of like 12-18 months working my irl job). I still have to pay the remaining balance.

I know a lot of people have grown attached to him through seeing him on my blog, and I wanted to provide an option in case anyone wanted to donate to him. All the money that has been sent has gone directly into the fund to pay off the rest of his bills or buying him some food and treats that he likes. It's helped so much and I really don't even know how to express how grateful I am, not only for the donations, but any advice to help with his care and the time and space some of you all have provided to allow me to vent and make sense of everything. Not to mention all the kind and compassionate messages. Nothing has gone unnoticed on my end, I'm just so overwhelmed that I haven't had the energy to respond to everyone. However I will absolutely remember your kindness in turn if any of you all end up in a similar situation (which I hope no one ever does cause this hurts so much).

Anyway, again, messages like that don't bother me as it comes with such a lack of empathy and perspective that I can't relate. I easily brush off things like that as "wow someone's gonna have a bad wakeup call in the future and regret being an ass about this". But still it's like, the brazenness of it all is what gets me. Like "why didn't you use your personal medical funds to help other people in need?" Like why don't you be a more productive person and donate to those causes your damn self than sending stupid shit on tumblr?

Because I DO donate my time, resources, and finances to others in need. I don't make a huge ass deal about it, especially online, because it's something I've always done out of habit. If you wanna do good, just fucking do it. Because I truly believe the more good you put out in the world the more good comes back your way, and this whole situation is very much proving that theory.

#jackal's journal #I'm exhausted from crying #i spent an hour with him earlier massaging his legs and rubbing his belly and telling him I love him so much #only to get that mesaage a while later like #I love Lobo so much #I've always done my best to care for him and provide the best quality of life I could give him #and I feel so helpless now cause there's little more I can do now then love him and care for him #he's such a special dog and I'm not ready to say goodbye #and what's worse is I don't know when that will be now that he's sick #i just want him to be happy and comfortable until the end #and apparently I'm evil for doing so according to clown ass anon

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lostonmari · 5 months

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SUCCESS #2 - November

Success #2 -- Everything I manifested in November

November is when I started this blog, and also ACTUALLY started applying all of the things I learned started taking affirming and thinking in my favor seriously instead of just sporadically manifesting random things here and there because I was too lazy to put in the work. I never had issues w wavering, but I was just inconsistent as fuck (Hell, I'm still inconsistent with posting on my own damn blog, yall can't possibly think I'm consistent with affirming!) So here's everything I manifested…

Manifested back my old bestfriend/ex-gf after 4 years no contact She came back, apologized for mistreating me and told me basically everything I affirmed for LMAO. and that's one of the things that gave me faith in the law because ik this girl would rather die than ever apologize to someone. Now that she's back I'm manifesting away her friends and leaving her broke down and in shambles because I'm evil and believe in revenge. yall dont know the type of bullsh*t this woman put me through. Idc if everyone is you pushed out, some people don't deserve forgiveness 🤓

My mom is walking again I successfully revised her shattered ankle without the weeks of recovery time the doctors "thought" she needed. She's literally walking around just fine now and doesn't need to wear her cast or whatever that big bulky thing was.

Manifested my brother out of jail on a time crunch Now I'm not sharing my family's whole drama online but… yea. he's out.

No more social anxiety, cured one of my mental health issues I don't wanna trauma dump or go into too much detail about my life but, yes. for anyone also working on mental health, it can be done and you won't regret trying. Life actually feels like it has meaning now and for once in all my years of life, I can actually say that I'm happy. 💗

Stopped nail biting COMPLETELY! I used to struggle with nail biting for YEARSSS whether it was out of stress, anxiety, whatever the fuck. but now it's completely gone. my nails are no longer STUBS, like theyre actually long and healthy. I didn't even affirm for this so I kinda think it came with improving my mental health since I didn't really have the issues that *triggered* nail biting anymore yk?. I'm actually the happiest about this result like yall don't understand how long I've wanted the natural french tips look 💀

[TW: Discussion of binging, discussion of food]

6. WL + Maintained weight loss! I literally changed my entire way of viewing food, and subsequently fixed my lose->gain->lose-> gain again cycle. Ever since learning LOAss If I binged I would be like: I just have a fast metabolism so that's why I'm so hungry my body is burning everything I eat so fast! and I would also tell myself calories don't matter because food is only energy. Basically, reminding myself of what Abdullah told Neville: "If you ate as I did, you would be poisoned because of your belief." (heavily paraphrased because my memory is terrible.. yes I'm working on it 😭) and it keeps me from feeling guilty abt eating. I ate SOOO MUCH food yesterday and I mean SO MUCH. I ate an entire box of cheese sticks, two large chicken sandwiches, 2 pb & j sandwiches total throughout the day, and half a tub of icecream for dessert… Yeah I was going crazy.. to the point I looked 5 months pregnant at the end of the night. Fast forward to today, my stomach is back to flat and back to normal as if it never happened. Food literally will not effect you if you believe it doesn't! This was my main focus too so I'm very proud of myself :)

Moral of the story is, never give up.

YOU decide what happens in your reality and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There were times when I didn't want to affirm, so I didn't. If I felt lazy then I didn't consciously affirm or listen to subliminals, I just relaxed and went on about my day. I never made affirming feel like a chore. There were times when I had doubts too or thought it wouldn't work. I especially thought it wouldn't work for my mental health but I just affirmed anyway. When you're having resistance literally just know there's nothing bad that can possibly happen from believing in yourself and thinking in your favor. Just DO IT. Persist no matter what and you WILL get what you want!

I'll try to do better with posting my successes (but only ones that actually meant something big to me tbh. I don't see a point in sharing every little thing unless it was me overcoming some type of struggle) and answering messages but I refuse to download the tumblr app so yall just gotta see and hear from me whenever I feel like loading up this website. I'm just enjoying & living my life rn girl I used to dream about times like this and now I finally have them 😭

#law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation #loassumption #loa success

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aziraphales-library · 1 year

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hello lovelies! thank you for running this wonderful blog!

would you happen to have more "aziraphale is mean to/rejects crowley" fics? i've gone through all the ones in your masterpost. :)

(also, there is a disproportionate amount of "crowley is mean to/rejects aziraphale" fics and i have ocd)

thank you very much!! <3

Hi! You might be interest in some of the fics on our #arguing tag, so check those out. Here are more fics where Aziraphale rejects Crowley...

Bad Demon by CloudySonder (NR)

(set after the Apocalet’snot) Crowley, in a fit of drunkenness, confesses his feelings for Aziraphale. It doesn’t go down very well. In fact, it goes about as badly as it could’ve gone, and before Aziraphale could even try to process his (already given) response, Crowley is gone; vanished into thin air.

So, in a very Aziraphale-like manner, Aziraphale does nothing for a while, taking it all in.

And then he panics.

Ever Thought of Having Sex? by ANTHONYCOWWLEY (E)

Crowley hadn't exactly planned on going there, but he was so sloshed that it just sort of happened. He'd been curious, for centuries -- and the alcohol made the question seem like less of a thing than usual.....

Via Crucis by Nadzieja (E)

Crowley has been rejected by Aziraphale, the only person he's ever loved. Again. But he can't really blame his angel for not breaking his clerical vows. He knows how difficult it is to leave the Catholic church and priesthood behind. He's done it himself. Now he's just trying to survive.

[A Priest AU, with a lot of angst and a happy ending.]

Definitions of Love by organizechaos (T)

Aziraphale thinks that all the abuse and trauma he endured in heaven is ‘love’. After being freed after the apocalypse, the angel is beyond happy. He wants nothing more than to spend eternity with Crowley but the demon is ready to put a name to their feelings. They both know that they care for each other deeply and when Crowley finally has the courage to put it in words (‘I love you’), it sends Aziraphale spiraling into believing Crowley will start treating him like heaven did.

"We- we don't have to pretend anymore.” Crowley stuttered out, golden eyes looking frantically about the angel. His sunglasses were clutched tightly in the palm of his hand, “The apocalypse is over, it has been for years. Can't we- can't we say it now?" his voice wavered only slightly.

"I don't love you, Crowley." Aziraphale emphasized each word to better help the demon understand. He had never truly loved something in all his years of existence, he didn’t think he was capable. To love another being — especially Crowley...

"I could never love you."

Crowley and His Army of Grandmothers by burnt_oranges (NR)

Crowley had impulsively stopped by Artisan Du Chocolate, the next place on Aziraphale’s meticulously ordered list of chocolatiers to sample, and now Crowley wonders--is it too much? He had bought a hundred fucking pounds’ worth of chocolate, of course it’s too much, but would Aziraphale notice that it was too much?

That is the question.

Warmth by indigo (E)

Friends with benefits really had to be the very best solution there was for any self-respecting immortal being on Earth. Handy. Convenient. The perfect way to de-stress with none of the hassle of trying to find a human willing to overlook the more demonic parts of appearance. It was reliable. Comforting even. Dependable, emotionless relief.

Perfect, Crowley thought.

Right up until the point when, well, it wasn’t.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #rejection #angst #mod d

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chloecherrysip · 1 year

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Now that I've had a few hours of sleep and am marginally a human being again, let's talk about the mario movie some more! SPOILERS ALL THROUGHOUT THIS POST UNDER THE CUT (if you want to see my non-spoilery thoughts and the first part of my spoiler talk as well, here's that post from last night! Be warned that it's pretty all over the place because it was 4:30 in the morning and I was really tired lolol)

After thinking about it more, I truly do have some PROBLEMS with this movie (will talk more about some of that below and I covered a lot of the issues in my first post too) and I do wish it was better overall and not so painfully surface-level with all the character interactions - I can understand why some people REALLY don't like it while others love it! It's joyful and energetic and BEAUTIFUL but if you spent months and months theorizing and speculating about deep character interactions and a very emotional story, it does really sting to finally see how there is virtually NONE of that and the plot feels kinda empty as a result. :(

But! I'm definitely not upset or anything like that, and I'm still gonna see it two more times in theaters with a smile on my face! TRUTHFULLY (and if you've seen my blog before, you know this about me) what I cared about most in this movie was getting to see Mario and Luigi be adorable onscreen and have a good, healthy, loving relationship, and you do get that to some degree, even if it's nowhere near enough. I can make my peace (and write a lot of fanfic, LOL) regarding the rest. :)

Here is a list of moments between Mario & Luigi that made me happy:

FIRST OF ALL, SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURE I LIKED BUT WAS CERTAINLY A CHOICE: Mario's nickname for Luigi is Lu????? He calls him that 3-4 times and at big moments, too. It started to be cute to me, even if I wish they'd gone with "Weegie" or something similar, but it's a little jarring at the beginning for sure.

In general, they are just very physically affectionate with each other! There are one or two quick hugs in the beginning scenes before we even get to the reunion. Also, I can't remember the specifics but the very last scene is them basically teasing/poking each other before running off into the day together and it's cute. :)

Mario is SO protective of Luigi in the Brooklyn scenes and let me tell you, as someone who cares DEEPLY about that, i was LIVING. He gets mad at Spike and tries to pick a fight only when he insults Luigi, and there is also a silly scene with an angry dog and Mario just instinctively puts his arm up in front of Luigi when things get a little scary/focuses on making sure he doesn't get hurt, and I was just having the BEST time. Honestly, I loved the Brooklyn stuff so much that I sincerely wanted the whole movie to just be about that, and things took a downhill turn for sure when the separation happened. :(

Someone definitely predicted this before the movie but Mario hates mushrooms as a food and Luigi likes them. During a dinner scene, Mario is slyly separating mushrooms from his food and putting them onto Luigi's plate in a way that suggests he's done that a LOT. Such a quick shot but I just liked the detail!

THE RUNNING THROUGH THE CONSTRUCTION SITE AND MARIO DOING RIDICULOUS PARKOUR BUT ALSO STOPPING TWICE TO MAKE SURE TO TURN BACK AND OPEN THE GATES SO LUIGI COULD COME THROUGH NORMALLY. There was just something SO funny and sweet about [crazy jumping and leaping] [quiet, thoughtful pause to open the gate] [MORE CRAZY JUMPING AND LEAPING, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, SIR] [another quiet, thoughtful pause to open the 2nd gate], I loveeeeee

Once again, just gotta be obnoxious about being right that the dialogue in the warp zone was "nothing can hurt us as long as we're together!" I HEARD THE LINE AS THIS IN THAT PREVIEW FOOTAGE AND EVERYONE CONVINCED ME IT WAS DIFFERENT BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW (i'm sorry, just let me have this win haha)

There is a sad moment where Mario and Luigi's dad clearly doesn't believe in their business and he even says to Mario something like "the worst part is that you're dragging your brother down with you" which is clearly upsetting to Mario so he leaves the dinner table - but then Luigi leaves the table too to come and sit with him and reassures him that he's not dragging him down and it's just a sweet, comfortable moment between them that I very much wish went on a little longer (the theme of the whole movie lol)

(Also, Mario and Luigi still live with their parents and share a room, they're clearly pretty young and are treated like the "babies" of the family. I wish we had seen more of their room other than a very extremely brief shots!!)

Luigi DOES immediately sell out Mario when Bowser goes for the serious mustache damage, LOL, but the way it's done is honestly so cute and once again, just reemphasizes how much Luigi loves Mario XD He's basically like "YES, I know him, he's my brother Mario and he's the best guy ever!" (And then Bowser, who is preoccupied with Mario = romantic rival for Peach's affections, is like "would a princess find him attractive???" and Luigi is like "if she has any common sense, she should!" (lol, that line could be TOTALLY wrong, I don't remember, but that's the gist of it, I promise) or something like that - just hyping Mario up when he's not even there, LOL

in Mario and DK's "darkest moment" scene where things seem hopeless and they're arguing, Mario says something like "well, at least your brother's not going to die because of you!" and noooo, bb, it's not your fault ;; (this scene could have been done SO MUCH BETTER with a few tweaks, btw, but I will get into that)

Luigi bringing coffee for Mario at the end of the movie in their respective cups :) :) :) So simple but I am a very simple person who just wanted to see little moments like this :) :) :)

I have GRIPES with the final battle scene but seeing Mario and Luigi work together and take care of Bowser as a duo was still good!!! Nothing can hurt them when they're together!!!

Also, already talked about this at length in my first post, but one more time: Mario saving Luigi from falling into the lava and their reunion hug is just my favorite moment of the movie, no contest, it goes by so fast and I wish it was longer but I can be happy with that alone and I can't wait for the screenshots/gifsets where I can see all the details of it more clearly and don't have to rely on my awful memory. Literally just going to think about that split-second of Mario holding Luigi's face with both hands in an unbearably sweet, gentle way forever. These brothers love each other very much, your honor ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ALSO ALMOST FORGOT: FLASHBACK TO THEM BEING BABIES (AND THEY LOOK SO FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL DESIGNS TOO!) AND MARIO PROTECTING LUIGI FROM A BULLY (lol I very much wish it was a longer and/or more creative flashback, but STILL sweet)

AND NOW THAT I AM DONE WITH BEING POSITIVE ABOUT MY FAVORITE BOYS, LET'S ~*~COMPLAIN~*~

First of all, still CANNOT BELIEVE that "I'm not afraid! I'll do anything for my brother" didn't make it into the movie, are you SERIOUS, it would have been perfect in SO MANY PARTS, they recorded it and everything, why???? IS THERE A DELETED SCENE??? ARE THERE SEVERAL DELETED SCENES??? I DEMAND JUSTICE FOR THAT PERFECT LINE, I WILL MOURN IT FOREVER

The editing in general is a little odd sometimes and it really DOES feel like a lot of scenes should be there that are missing. Another VERY weird cut is in the scene where Peach, Toad, and Mario are crossing the bridge with the Cheep-Cheeps and they just immediately cut the scene when one latches onto Mario's face and don't even include the cute stuff from the trailer with Peach trying to help him??? Like, WHY???? WHY DID THOSE FEW SECONDS NEED TO BE CUT??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I think one of the most painful things about this movie is that, as a writer/creative person, I can see SO many small opportunities throughout the movie where a couple of extra minutes and some tweaks in the writing would have made SO much difference. An unbelievable amount of difference! The overall structure of the story and the plot is good! The story of Mario wanting to reunite with his brother and Peach wanting to protect her kingdom (that took her in and cared for her when she was all alone in the world) is solid! But they never give the EMOTIONS surrounding these things ANY space to breathe beyond one line here or there, and that is SUCH a mistake and I can't believe no one thought to do something differently here.

FOR INSTANCE: The "darkest moment" scene with DK and Mario! It goes by so fast, but there is some good stuff there that, if the movie took a MOMENT and really let their pain/fear for their loved ones and their shared complex of unsupportive fathers BREATHE, would work SO MUCH BETTER. Like, I can easily imagine a rewritten version of that scene with very similar dialogue but just MORE of it (more pauses, more emotion, more reactions to one another's problems, more recognition of their similarities, etc) would have made it like a DAGGER in the heart. SUCH a missed opportunity. I am itching to rewrite it, LOL. (I am itching to rewrite a LOT of scenes!)

ALSO: Luigi is my LOVE and he is adorable throughout this, but I'm gonna be the first to admit that his scrap of an arc in this movie (if you can even call it that) is so lackluster and his heroic moment at the end genuinely doesn't feel that earned! AND ONCE AGAIN, WITH A LITTLE EXTRA WRITING/ROOM IN THE RUNTIME, IT'S A VERY SOLVABLE PROBLEM

And the solution is: build out the prison scenes and have Luigi actually talking to someone else who is locked up!!!!! Other than a couple of lines and jokes, the prisoners don't TALK TO EACH OTHER and Luigi just spends a lot of time looking sad. We don't get ANYTHING about his thought processes while he's captured other than he is thinking of Mario and hoping his brother comes to save him like he's always done.

WHEN CRANKY KONG AND THE OTHER KONGS SHOW UP, HAVE THEM SHARE INFO ABOUT MARIO'S APPARENT DEMISE WITH LUIGI!!! HAVE LUIGI TALK TO HIM (OR THE PENGUIN KING, OR SOMEONE) ABOUT HOW HIS BROTHER'S ALWAYS LOOKED OUT FOR HIM BUT MAYBE SOMETIMES, HIS BROTHER MIGHT NEED SOME SUPPORT TOO AND HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG FOR HIM TOO

It doesn't have to be a long or especially deep conversation, but some lines of dialogue like this would make that moment where Luigi realizes that Mario is right, nothing CAN hurt them if they're together and he's gotta be strong for his older brother too and he jumps in to protect him from Bowser hit SO much harder. That's all it would take!!!

I HAVE ACTUAL WORK TO DO TODAY AND CANNOT GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE MARIO MOVIE FOREVER BUT LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW: the more I think about the final battle, the more I'm conflicted, haha. The twist of everyone from the Mushroom Kingdom ending up in Brooklyn is definitely SHOCKING in the moment and pretty creative but I don't know, I had my heart set on a more classic version of Mario VS Bowser. It just doesn't hit as hard as it could in the end because of how silly the setting is. :( (But the Mario and Luigi teamup with the power star is great, and the music IS fire) (Also LOL at myself for thinking "Luigi won't fight at the end, that wouldn't make sense since Mario had to train" - he just knows how to fight, the movie goes with what's cool over what's logical and that's fair XD)

Also, the end of the movie is a tad confusing and has some pretty huge repercussions for this version of canon? ARE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM AND THE REAL WORLD PERMANENTLY MERGED TOGETHER BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED??? That's definitely what it seems to imply with Mario and Luigi waking up in their Brooklyn room and then walking out straight into the Mushroom Kingdom! It's pretty bizarre! (Honestly, what I was expecting was that the Bill would destroy the warp pipes and Mario and Luigi wouldn't be able to go home, which I might have preferred, as sad as that would be.)

That's all I got for now! I'm sure I will have more thoughts in the future, haha.

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie spoilers #would love to hear your thoughts if you agree/disagree with anything i said!#it really is wild to see such STRONG reactions on either side of the spectrum #seeing a LOT of positive feedback and then a LOT of people who are MAD and yeah. i honestly get both sides. i am both of you lol #cherrysip hc's & rambling

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