Nothing to rise
In the shadows of these heavy days,
Rising becomes a burdened phase.
Once up, I yearn for slumber's embrace,
Seeking solace in its tranquil space.
My strength depleted, all has fallen,
Scattered chaos, upon the ground.
No vigor to rise, no will to rebound,
Why bother trying, when hope's drowned?
Therapy feels like an endless race,
Yet I'm not mendable, that's the case.
Though lessons learned, relief's not found,
Disappointment reigns, a ceaseless sound.
Not seeking death, but life's a strain,
Longing to vanish, from this earthly plane.
Accepting fate's approach, its somber pound,
My past, a puzzle, never to be unwound.
Therapy's a road, leading nowhere,
Not your fault, you're beyond compare.
I am my wounds, they're deeply wound,
Another path seems a realm, too profound.
So we halt this journey, it's for the best,
Your efforts, noble, put to rest.
I'm safe, I'm okay, in my silent lair,
This choice, the wisest, for my wearied affair.
Love, Laura
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xie lian can speak banyue therefore he Knows fantasy mongolian
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Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on May 23, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 1, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on August 30, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on August 31, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on September 6, 2022
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 17, 2023
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 21, 2023
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 22, 2023
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"ummm the global strike was called on such short notice we need more time to plan ahead this just isn't gonna work it feels like slacktivism :///" hmm lets try to figure out why a palestinian journalist in gaza who has been documenting her own genocide for the past hundred fucking days called for a global strike on short notice during a livestream while the hospital she was sheltering in was being attacked and she believed she was going to be killed that night. lets think about it. lets put our thinking caps on. lets sit down in our thinking chair and think think think
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>acquaintance mentions that they think a kink is immoral
>ask them if their judgment is based on material reality or constructed disgust
>they don't understand |pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is material reality and what is constructed disgust
>they laugh and say "its a reasonable judgement"
>interact with them a little bit more
>its constructed disgust
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Shadows of Resignation
Some days, the world doesn’t spin at all. It’s a black hole, and you feel so much that you can’t control your emotions. You’re so angry at the world that you’ve fled from it, even diving into another universe. You lash out at everyone because they seem to have a fine world. Why doesn’t anyone see that your world is on fire? Why don’t they extinguish it?
But the world always comes back, and then you think maybe the world isn’t the problem, but you are. You notice that no one else seems to be affected; their worlds function just fine—not too fast, not too slow, not too big, not too small. You’re the one who turns the world upside down. It’s better if you’re not on that world and not in the black hole, because you only cause pain to people there, and in the world, people only cause you pain.
The world is a bleak place, its beauty lost to me. Without the spinning core, it is. No one will ever suffer from a world that’s too big or too small anymore, one that’s not on fire, where there’s stability.
And that’s okay—I’m resigned to that fate. The world will stop spinning, and then peace will return. The world will finally have the right size—not too big, not too small—and I won’t need dark power anymore.
I’ll just fade away.
Love, Laura
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