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cheriecelestial · 13 days

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Luminary Pt.II

pairing *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Yan Emperor!OC X Swordmaster!OC

disclaimer *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ yandere thoughts. hurt/ no comfort. angst. mentions of violence and character death. lovers to enemies.

a/n *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Please listen to Joel Sunny’s Luminary for the whole experience. COMMENT LIKE & REBLOG ✿.*･｡ﾟ (ㅅ´ ˘ `) Pt.1

“Atticus was kind,” Atticus' ears perked up at his mention, his brows knitted in confusion as to why she was referring to him as if she was talking about someone else ? “You said your magic erases insignificant feelings. You were always so full of kindness, what happened?” Her words struck the platinum haired man like lightning. But what she saw in him was just him mirroring her light like the moon does with the sun and nothing else.

“To you my darling. I was kind because you deserved it. I cared because you did, always. You broke me out of my mould, out of all the rules and conceptions I had about my life. And I loved you for it. But before I knew it i started doing everything by your book. Everything for you. To win you, for validation, for love. So much so that I lost sight of my goal.” His words died by the end of his sentence, if they were talking truth now — he might as well splay his feelings out in front of her.

“I was just trying to save you. I-I-”Cecily barely stuttered out. He felt Cecily's hand on his shoulder dig in. Her bottom lip quivered and her body trembled to the point that she swayed slightly on her feet. If he could feel any guilt or remorse he was sure that the look on her face would've devastated Atticus more than anything he had experienced before but all he felt was a strange tightness in his chest.

Calming herself, she took a deep breath and spoke in a low tone,“ Is that what I was to you ? A distraction from your goal ? I tried Atticus. I tried so hard to save you from yourself.” He telt a part of his shoulder burn where she rested her hand.

“Distraction ? No my love. I know you tried to save me and for a moment there - I swore you did . But leaving behind all I had ever known was a risk I was never willing to take, because what will become of me when I abandon the laws that have shaped me ? You gave me life but my vengeance gave me purpose.” Atticus knew he wasn’t a good man from the very start. That something was fundamentally flawed about his existence. An inadequacy, one he’d never overcome. And somewhere deep within, he was jealous. Jealous of Cecily for being so perfect . She always so full of vitality. Like a star, even when she held his face in her hands — she always somehow felt so far away, somehow felt so unattainable. The problem with being born in hell and then being getting a taste of heaven was - that no matter how hard you tried you could never overcome that nagging feeling in the back of your head that told you that you didn’t belong. There was one sole lesson he learnt from all of this was he had too many demons to love an angel. So if he couldn’t belong in the heaven, he would drag his haloed darling to the hell.

“The reason I came here was to see if there was a modicum of redeemable humanity left in you. If there was any part of my Atticus left. Marcel was right, you have changed beyond recognition. I no longer recognise the person I’m looking at.” Her tone grew distant by the second. It was the same tone people talked about the deceased at funerals. Mourning him as if he had died, like he wasn’t still alive and breathing in front of her. She almost thought it would be easier if he had died. At least she’d feel some sort of closure, knowing he’s not coming back. But this, this was a nothing but pure torture for her.

But then he wasn’t gone, if anything he was doing better than he ever was. Leaving her behind to pick up the shattered pieces of what they once had. Yet somehow, she couldn’t hate him for that - not really anyways. No amount of anger would mend the torn pieces of her broken heart. She was left in emotional turmoil, love mixing with hate mixing with rage, betrayal and depression. No matter how many times the word hate flashed through her mind, it was never truly directed at Atticus. Rather the world, the things they had forced upon him, the pressure he had been made to feel.

Shakily, Cecily raised her palm to caress his hair. Atticus almost flinched at how warm her war calloused hand felt against his face. He nuzzled his face closer to her palm as his emotions as a cacophony of fear, desire, hate, and desolation, all battling one another for control. Her touch was a fire he would willingly walk into.

Cecily cupped Atticus’ face and tilted her chin up to him, parting her lips ever so slightly. Atticus’s brain went into overdrive at her invitation. She resembled a siren, calling out to him with her sweet song and in the back of his head he knew there would be consequences to this. But the moment her lips touched his he stopped breathing. His mind went blank. Every feeling, thought, and emotion that he has ever felt floods through him in a torrent. He could barely comprehend the feeling of her lips on his own. His hands wrapped themselves around her back and tighten as the rush of emotions overwhelms him. At the same time, he was aware of how much he hated this. She was ruining him and she had no idea how much her touch was destroying everything he spent so much time meticulously building.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” Cecily’s emerald green eyes looked hollow yet somehow reverential when she pulled away. Atticus wanted to grab her shoulders, shake her violently and yell that he was still here so why did she look at him with such melancholy.

“I don’t need saving Cecilia. Join me my darling. Be my queen and I swear we could restore this empire to all its deserved glory.”He gripped her hand resting against his cheek and pleaded. He didn’t care if he sounded desperate or pathetic, he just needed her to say yes.

Cecily shook her head slowly and said,“ As appealing as it sounds, you and I both know you don’t plan on making me anything apart from your canary in a gilded cage because I will never approve of you methods and neither will I aid you in them.” Atticus sighed in defeat. He bit the inside of his cheek till he tasted blood. If she wasn’t going to give in voluntarily, he just had to make her.

“You know you can’t win against me. Even if you persevere and defeat my armies. You can’t kill me. Dark magic makes me impervious to all weaponry and magic. No one in history has ever been able to accomplish it. What makes you think you will be able to do it ?” Atticus challenged her knowing that even with all her strength, there was no way in hell she could win. She wouldn’t fight for so long if she knew she didn’t stand a chance, an ominous voice warned him .

“None but one”

He knew who she was referring to. The legend Seraphina Andrea Reginald and her aura sword — the Caelum Lux. The founder of the continent. She was this golden figure who was the beacon of morality, freedom and justice. An allegory and dubbed to be reincarnation of the goddess of light Lumine. But that was the end of it- a legend, another one of story tellers’ dramatic gimmicks to make little children believe in virtue. Even though Cecily belonged to her bloodline, calling upon such power was next to impossible.

“It’s a children’s story my darling. The Caelum Lux isn’t a real sword and you know it.”

Cecily lightly shrugged in response as a silent ‘yes well’. The orchestra began their final piece and a familiar melody swirled around them. It was the song Atticus often played for them at late hours when they’d sneak into the music room at the music room back when they were in the academy. What were the odds that they would play this very song as their final piece ?

“It’s the last waltz your majesty. Dance with me. Just like the old times.”

Wordlessly, Atticus pulled her closer. Her cheek was resting on his chest and his other hand almost holding her in a half hug. This wasn’t the standard waltz position, but it was something so comfortingly intimate to them. She was good to him but not to his cause. To Atticus Asterin – Cecily Reginald is an obstacle, but to Atty - Ces is an anchor. His heart felt at peace but his instincts were blaring sirens as if she was his greatest enemy and who knows maybe she was. Push her away and leave, the voice told him as a sign of fatal danger. He gripped her closer as if retaliating to the instinct. Atticus wasn’t going to let anyone take Cecily away from him, not even himself.

“The Caelum Lux isn’t a sword, it’s a bloodline.”Cecily stated calmly as if it wasn’t the most groundbreaking piece of information Atticus had heard. “You remember my father, the late duke, had all my distant relatives covertly killed a few years ago ?”

“Yes, I do remember. It was perhaps the only occasion you mustered the courage to confront him,” he countered. Instead of retaliating in her usual fury, Cecily merely smiled and continued, “Its aura can be invoked by the last descendant after absorbing the light energy of their deceased kin. Seraphina Reginald wasn’t a swordmaster — she was a mage. The most formidable one to ever exist.” Atticus’ blood ran cold. He remembered the duke and his cold eyes. They were the same colour as Cecily’s but they always held nothing but disgust and disdain, looking at him as if he were nothing but an insect. The only time a different expression crossed the duke’s face was as he lay dying. Atticus pressed the sword to his heart and the duke just smiled back at him. The same smile Cecily was wearing. The same smile a hunter wore when they caught their prey.

After gaining his power, Atticus believed he could shed his fear. He swore to himself that he would never go back to being that helpless weak boy who was even scared of his own shadow. He wasn’t supposed to feel this anymore.

Push her away. She’s dangerous.

Push her away.

“I see.” He felt as though he was stepping forward over this ravine with a snapping tightrope, but she was on the other side with a lamp and a knife, daring him to cross it. But it didn’t matter because she wouldn’t catch him — not anymore. He had emerged victorious, then why did he feel like he was exactly where the duke wanted him to be ?

Atticus looked down to her face pressed against his chest. It was a pleasant. Despite having this beautiful perspective emphasised, Atticus found his head reeling and his breath shallowing. His heart hammering in his chest unstably, feeling somewhat claustrophobic. She can’t defeat me, that’s what the platinum haired man kept telling himself. He was caught in a tailspin, a tailspin that was only leading him one place. He couldn’t let that happen. But she kept haunting his thoughts, along with the other ghosts holed up in his head. Did ruination and salvation always look this identical ?

You can’t put Atticus upon yourself to save — he made the choices he made, you can’t change them. You can’t save a person who doesn’t want to be saved. She told herself sternly. She must done what she had to, what she came here to do. Cecily took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. She didn’t know if she was telling the truth when she said she didn’t recognise him. Everything about him, every minuscule detail about him, had been exactly as she had remembered. He still had the same sweet and playful look in his eyes. He still had the same charming smile. He was still the same person she fell in love with all those years ago so it hurt. She cried, wailed, and tried to be strong as she thought about the moments shared with him and how cruel it was that this was where she ended up.

Their eyes lock, returning each other's gaze, scrutinising the abysmal of their souls that was built with a blended sentiment. She saw a bead of perspiration run down the side of his forehead and his breath getting more laboured by the second. She had to act fast.

For a fleeting moment, silence prevailed in between, the rhythm of their breathing stirring with the progression of the music around them. The music of the waltz filled the room with a gentle, flowing melody. It began with a simple rhythm, gradually building into a sweeping cadence. Footsteps and hands were in perfect time with the music, moving with precision and grace. It was a soothing, romantic piece. The tempo of the music shifted and changed, following the dynamics of the song and the movements of the dancers. Soon it reached a feverish crescendo indicating its dramatic ending .

Atticus wrapped her waist and lifted her in the air for a spin. When he set her down he noticed her eyes were closed. “Love ?” He asked but she didn’t respond. Growing unnerving due to the lack of response he reaped, he called out to her again. An ominous feeling crept up his spine as the voice in his head chided him, too late. When she opened her eyes, they glowed with unnatural amount of light almost as if the goddess Lumine herself had descended from the heavens. Wait, goddess ? Now it all started to make sense to him. Her coming here, the legend of Seraphina Reginald and the Caelum Lux.

Blinding light engulfed the ballroom leaving everyone stunned. And when the light faded, Atticus heard someone scream. He felt oddly disoriented and overwhelmed. What is going on ? He opened his mouth to speak but nothing except blood came out. His hand flew to his neck to feel the thick waterfall of blood dripping from the side of his neck. Before he could register what happened, his knees bucked as he stumbled. Is that my blood ? Am I dying ? His vision started to blur and he felt life slipping away like sand from his fingers. Unlike anything he had ever imagined, instead of fear he felt warmth.

In that moment, he saw the star decorations in the centre of the dome and all the incomplete dreams and promises of forever they made in their youth. His vision cleared for a second and he saw her. He saw everything he ever loved about her – her countenance bore an undeniable allure. Her spun hair, painstakingly brushed to perfection, flowed like silk threads, infused with small silver flowers, an extravagant touch. The jagged burn scar that ran down the side of her face, something that never deterred him from loving her all the same. Swathed in rich lace, her garments caressed her form with the grace of luxury, their hue an enchanting shade of white. This allure was further accentuated by her green eyes, glinting like shards of frozen emeralds, reflecting an unyielding mysterious depth — a landscape of evergreen forests like the ones they would often go hunting in. He stared at her till his vision was tainted by red.

As the world around him darkened, he was left with the haunting echoes of what once was, leaving him to wonder how it all came to this point. too many questions, too little answers. They said love healed, love nurtured, love saved many. Unfortunately for them, the poets were wrong after all, not even love was enough to save them. Her lips moved to say something he couldn’t quite catch, Atticus used the last bit of his strength to strain his ears to hear the last words she would say to him before he left this world .

“Rest now my love, may the gods receive you on the other side, pardoning that which may be absolved.”

#yandere #yandere oc #yancore #yanderecore #yandere x oc #yandere male #male yandere #tw: yandere #yandere imagines #oc x oc #songfic #lovers to enemies #hurt/no comfort #angst #historical fantasy #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n

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general-sleepy · 7 months

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Assigning Saw Traps to Dracula Characters:

Because this is how my mind works. Also, I previously mentioned I was playing with this and @animate-mush encouraged my bad behavior. (With brief summaries of the traps if you're not as disastrously obsessed with the Saw series as I am.

Seward: I can honestly really see Jack in Lawrence's place in the Bathroom Trap (the main setup of the first movie, you wake up in a room with a stranger and you have to murder them or several of your loved ones will be killed; also in order to murder them you have to cut off your foot). Both of them are physicians who are emotionally disconnected and generally don't appreciate their lives. Honestly, though, I don't think the self-amputation aspect of the trap would be that huge of a deal for Jack. He might think it's kind of morbidly interesting.

Jonathan: I wasn't sure about this at first, but I decided Jonathan could take Adam's role in the Bathroom Trap. Adam is being punished for being passive, which is also a trait of Jonathan at the beginning of the novel; though due to politeness and a desire to please, rather than Adam's internalized homophobia unspecified mental illness. So, they have to suffer the wages of their own passivity, being helpless to another (implicitly more important) person's whims. Honestly, I can see John Kramer looking at Jonathan and getting big "pawn in someone else's game" energy. (Note that this applies to Jonathan pre-novel; post-novel, John would be very sore about Jon's willingness to die for/with Mina, because loving someone so much you couldn't live without them is pretty cringe tbh).

Arthur: Jigsaw would honestly struggle to find a reason to throw Art into a murder game. Maybe if he didn't process the grief of losing nearly everyone he loves in a few months in exactly the way John Kramer approved of. He'd probably get stuck in one of the more basic ones. Maybe the Venus Fly Trap (there's like a mini iron maiden around your neck and you have to cut out your eye to get the key surgically implanted behind it to get out of it). Arthur's a tough guy, though; honestly, I think he could get through it.

Quincey: Maybe Rigg's game (being faced with a variety of people in Saw traps and being encouraged not to help them, because either they deserve to die or they can only recover by "helping" themselves). We know that Quincey is self-sacrificing and willing to put his neck out to help near-strangers because for some reason he believes concern for others is a valuable reason to risk your own life. However, I imagine that Quincey would help rescue a victim of domestic violence, instead of deciding that she won't learn anything unless she pulls herself up by her bootstraps and helps herself (by killing her husband and suffering horrible pain, because DV victims are just complacent).

Lucy: Lucy and William Easton don't have a lot in common, but I realized his trap would fit for her. William's trap is super complicated, but mostly he has to go through a variety of situations where he decides who lives and who dies. Like, having to decide whether to kill a healthy young orphan with no friends or family and a chronically ill wife and mother, both of whom have done literally nothing wrong. Or having to decide which two of five people to save from being shot in the chest with a shotgun. This is the worst thing that could happen to Lucy, a boundlessly loving people-pleaser. That might be why he puts her in a trap, to encourage her to stand up for herself or something.

Mina: My immediate instinct was the Angel Trap (you're hooked up to this rig that is going to rip your ribs open unless you can fish the key out of a bottle of acid before it melts), mostly because of her and Kerry giving me kind of similar vibes. Kerry, a cop, is put in the trap because she's apparently obsessed with death more than the living, though really it seems like she's just too close to catching Jigsaw. Mina is fascinated by ghost stories and reads about criminology. She's, in a way, suicidal, and John Kramer absolutely cannot stand that. John would say that becoming a vampire is still close enough to living that you should still appreciate it.

Van Helsing: I was struggling to figure this out until I saw Saw X. Van Helsing is obsessed with brains and intellect and feels himself to be intellectually superior, so I think the brain surgery trap (you have to cut out a certain amount of your own brain tissue or your head gets roasted in a kind of mini-brazen bull) would fit. Maybe the instructions/insult tape would be something like, "You think you know what's going on in my brain, let's see if you know what's going on in yours." Something dumb like that.

#saw #dracula #saw x spoilers #i didn't put renfield here because john might actually dig his whole vibe #“you're obsessed with living? ah hell yeah living's awesome. carry on you crazy bastard. best of luck”#jonathan harker #mina harker #jack seward #quincey morris #arthur holmwood #abraham van helsing #tw: gore #tw: domestic violence #tw: suicide

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rockislandadultreads · 1 year

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National Library Lovers Month: Fiction

The Library of Lost and Found by Phaedra Patrick

Librarian Martha Storm has always found it easier to connect with books than people - though not for lack of trying. She keeps careful lists of how to help others in her superhero-themed notebook. And yet, sometimes it feels like she's invisible.

All of that changes when a book of fairy tales arrives on her doorstep. Inside, Martha finds a dedication written to her by her best friend - her grandmother Zelda - who died under mysterious circumstances years earlier. When Martha discovers a clue within the book that her grandmother may still be alive, she becomes determined to discover the truth. As she delves deeper into Zelda's past, she unwittingly reveals a family secret that will change her life forever.

The Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith

Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing - a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto.

But what should have been a simple retrieval goes horrifyingly wrong when the terrifyingly angelic Ramiel attacks them, convinced that they hold the Devil's Bible. The text of the Devil's Bible is a powerful weapon in the power struggle between Heaven and Hell, so it falls to the librarians to find a book with the power to reshape the boundaries between Heaven, Hell….and Earth.

This is the first volume “Hell’s Library” series.

The Last Chance Library by Freya Sampson

Lonely librarian June Jones has never left the sleepy English village where she grew up. Shy and reclusive, the thirty-year-old would rather spend her time buried in books than venture out into the world. But when her library is threatened with closure, June is forced to emerge from behind the shelves to save the heart of her community and the place that holds the dearest memories of her mother.

Joining a band of eccentric yet dedicated locals in a campaign to keep the library, June opens herself up to other people for the first time since her mother died. It just so happens that her old school friend Alex Chen is back in town and willing to lend a helping hand. The kindhearted lawyer's feelings for her are obvious to everyone but June, who won't believe that anyone could ever care for her in that way. To save the place and the books that mean so much to her, June must finally make some changes to her life. For once, she's determined not to go down without a fight. And maybe, in fighting for her cherished library, June can save herself, too.

The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman

Irene is a professional spy for the mysterious Library, a shadowy organization that collects important works of fiction from all of the different realities. Most recently, she and her enigmatic assistant Kai have been sent to an alternative London. Their mission: Retrieve a particularly dangerous book. The problem: By the time they arrive, it's already been stolen.

London's underground factions are prepared to fight to the death to find the tome before Irene and Kai do, a problem compounded by the fact that this world is chaos-infested - the laws of nature bent to allow supernatural creatures and unpredictable magic to run rampant. To make matters worse, Kai is hiding something - secrets that could be just as volatile as the chaos-filled world itself. Now Irene is caught in a puzzling web of deadly danger, conflicting clues, and sinister secret societies. And failure is not an option—because it isn’t just Irene’s reputation at stake, it’s the nature of reality itself...

This is the first volume in “The Invisible Library” series.

#national library lovers month #libraries #fiction #science fiction #library books #book recommendations #reading recommendations #book recs #TBR pile #tbr #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog

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penelope1597 · 3 years

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Nick is self serving because he only acts to save June 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

I had this discussion with someone a while back. Why doesn’t Nick get out or do something good/bigger or he only does good things for June. And with that they justify that he really is not a good person because apparently a good person will bring Gilead down. Sure, in theory and in fairy tales that would be ideal, but that isn’t reality. It takes a lot of cracks in the machinery that runs fear and death to bring it down and that isn’t attainable with one man or one grand gesture alone.

Why he doesn’t get out?

Does he feel like he can live a life outside of Gilead or does he like this power he now has? I have not seen one scene of him enjoying his position or his power. In season 3 when he salutes the troops he seems miserable. Only when he’s talking with Lawrence or saving him we see him kind of comfortable in his commander role. Yet when he’s talking to the Martha’s the dynamic of power isn’t even there. They don’t treat him like a commander, they’re not even scared of him. I think he feels staying in Gilead is his punishment for being a part of building this horrible world.

Now this season we see him a bit more active. Before he simply traded goods and knew about Mayday. When he arranges to get June out in the second season he says to her, do you know how hard it was for me to get them to tell me where you were, and I’ve never done this before. So yes, at first he only did help June but this season we see he has made alliances. It was subtly hinted with the friendlies taking the pics of Hannah, the eyes on the border (I’m assuming he made alliances while he was an eye as well), the Fred situation and his pull on saving Lawrence. Yet if we analyze the council meeting where they discuss bombing Chicago we see he is not a top commander. He’s a military errand boy basically. I’ve always thought he had a bit more pull when Pryce was alive and as an Eye and all that went away after the bombing leaving him in a sort of unprotected situation, then Fred’s promotion (which was made to get him killed) helped him get more situated at the top.

Why did he save Lawrence?

Why now? Lawrence knew there was something between him and June from season 3, to what extent we don’t know. Nick has to know he helped June with the Angel’s Flight and Emily (and Holly) and he has to know Lawrence can be trusted to an extent. So obviously why not save him. Lawrence was involved in Fred’s demise. So they’re both in the same boat united maybe by their love for June. I think Lawrence has a sort of paternal love for June yet it’s a love not strong enough for him to risk as Nick risks. Lawrence is more detached in this sense. That’s why Nick goes to him and asks for help. I think that what’s breaks Lawrence was the loss of his wife and what moved him to care for June is her perseverance. Now why would they trade the women with the Americans only to help June? It’s a risk to bring it to the table. Granted silencing Fred would’ve been the main objective so I guess we’ll see how they go about this in the next season.

Ok, so we’ve see him throughout the seasons move from simply helping June to have a more active role even though we don’t know what that role is, yet. We do know he has to play into the role or he dies. That’s obvious. And not hard to comprehend….or so I’d assume 🤷🏻‍♀️

No one can bring down Gilead by themselves. Most people won’t sacrifice themselves for a whole cause from the get go without realizing there are things they want. For Nick it was June and Holly. That’s why he only did things for her even though he tried to do little things for others. Why would he sacrifice himslef even though he was willing to do so (Eden) at times. This is a long game. Little by little you lose the fear and start pushing foward to make real changes. I’m sure after realizing what June did with Angels flight he also said to hismelf if she did this I can do more.

Max Minghella said it in an interview he feels Nick sees June as a step ahead from him. Like she’s a lot more brave than he is. So she inspires him. Like he owes it to her. It’s still for her but on a broader spectrum. Because now she and his daughter are safe. Maybe he wants to get Hannah for June. Why is he keeping an eye on Hannah? Especially if he knew he wasn’t going to see her again. There was also the cut scene from season 3 where apparently the plan was having Nick interact with Commander McKenzie.

There was something about the meeting with the Swiss that always makes me wonder. Once you get in bed with the government it’s hard to get out…was he referring to getting in bed with Gilead? He was simply a driver. So sometimes I think it’s more than that. If he would’ve been so tight with the government he wouldn’t have been just a driver. Did he mean another government? Has he been a spy all along? Is that why the Swiss can’t use him? I go back to the Tuello board. And the fact that the Americans were willing to not only arrange a meeting with Nick but also with Lawrence. Moira said now you have a good man in Gilead. If they wanted to get him out they would trade his secrets, more now that he is a military commander, with some sort of deal. Maybe they can’t do that because he was already undercover.

So I do understand some people need the validation and to see explicitly that he’s 100% against Gilead but that would make for a boring show and character. I think if one pays attention and slightly analyzes wha the show has given us there are a lot of clues that tell us exactly where Nick’s loyalties lie. I just really hope they don’t fuck up Nicks story line in season 5 🥴

#osblaine #the handmaid's tale #nick and june #nick blaine #june osborne

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zigtheeortega · 3 years

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come back to me

pairing | colt x mc

word count | 5.3k

warnings | blood, guns, bullets, wounds, and a mention of death. there’s a section of the fic where mc gets shot when a job goes awry – it’s used in a hurt/comfort scenario, but be warned that it’s in there! lmk if i need to use any other tags!

tags | @raleighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @senatorraines, @jaxmatsuo, @rodappreciationweek

author’s note | i’ve never written a colt fic before, so i wanted to take a crack at a slowburn colt au – this fic takes place over the span of about ten-ish years (fifteen-ish total since the events of book one). i’m not the biggest colt expert so i hope i did him justice!

•─────────────────•

“If you ever ask me to do this much ass kissing again, I’m divorcing you.”

Colt flung himself onto the bed, still fully clothed, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Oh, stop being dramatic,” Raquel laughed, reaching back to unzip herself, the soft fabric of her sundress sliding down her body and onto the floor.

He hummed from his place on the bed, neck craning to watch her as she changed into her pajamas.

“Stop distracting me from being annoyed,” he grumbled, letting his head fall back, his gaze trained on the ceiling.

“Are you actually mad at me or are you just complaining to hear yourself talk?” She asked, but before he could respond she’d climbed on top of him, wrapping him in a koala hug, nestling her head under his chin.

Naturally, he hugged her back, his arms snaking around her waist.

He shrugged. “I’m not mad at you.”

She giggled into his chest, sending tremors up his body, the warmest kind. “You’re the most stubborn man I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why you married me,” he kissed the top of her head. “You’re too good for me.”

Raquel pushed herself up till they were nose to nose, giving him a pointed look. “I haven’t been too good for anyone since we were kids.” She pressed a quick kiss on his lips, intending to pull away, but he gripped her chin before she could, kissing her deeply.

He’d never get tired of that… and he’d never get tired of her.

For the longest time, he thought it was too far-fetched to expect he’d find someone willing to stick around through all of his bullshit, much less someone who’d legally binded herself to him.

He was still in awe with how it played out.

He’d returned to Los Angeles dangerously too soon after their run in with The Brotherhood. Incidentally enough, he was laying low on high alert for so long… but nothing came of it.

Maybe they’d been arrested, maybe they’d gotten justice, or maybe they just moved on to terrorize another city. He’d always assumed it was the latter.

Rebuilding his father’s autoshop was painful, no matter how deep he tried to shove those feelings down.

Colt’s vision for his father’s crumbling empire wasn’t one that came into focus for him for years.

Five years after The Brotherhood incident, all he had to show for it was a struggling auto shop with a few criminal employees who barely knew how to hotwire a car.

It seemed like there were no hills in sight, only cavernous valleys.

Five years after The Brotherhood incident, the death of his father, and the end of the Mercy Park Crew, she came into focus.

Raquel stepped into the garage, heels clacking against the dirty concrete, her gait determined.

He watched her from his tiny office, peering through the blinds as she glided confidently across the auto shop and up to his door.

She rapped her knuckles against it a few times, a little too heavy handedly.

There’s no way she’s really here, he thought, shaking his head. No fucking way.

He debated whether or not to let her in – the last time a Kaneko opened their doors to her, they nearly ruined her life.

He twisted the knob and yanked it open anyways, an insult bubbling up his throat. After all these years, he figured he’d be relieved to see her, but the tiny sliver of relief was easily overshadowed by his knee jerk reaction of annoyance and shock.

There was a small part of him that was excited, but not enough to warrant being nice to her.

When he came face to face with her for the first time, she spoke first. “Hi, Mr. Kaneko. I’d like to apply for a bookkeeping job.”

He blinked when she shoved a thick manila folder in his hands. “I think my qualifications speak for themselves.”

He thumbs the edges of the papers, flipping through her resume and the thick Master’s thesis. She’s too fucking smart to be back here.

Before anyone in the shop could see, he tugged her arm till she was inside, all but slamming the door behind her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

She ripped her arm from his grasp, brows furrowed. “I’m here to work.”

“Don’t you get how dangerous it is for you to be here or are you just stupid?” He all but spat, slapping the folder onto his desk.

“If I’m stupid that makes you just as much of an idiot as me,” she countered, crossing her arms firmly. “I know the risks.”

“You can’t be dumb enough to think I’d take that risk, though,” he rolled his eyes, plopping into the chair at his desk.

She laughed – actually laughed – at him, covering her mouth. “Forgive me for that.”

He cocked a brow at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I went to school with pretentious male academics for five years, Colt. Whatever you’re gonna say to me has already been said, and it won’t hurt my feelings.”

He leans forward, flipping to her resume, tearing it off the top. “Let’s see, here. Langston college, yeah, I remember that. Graduated with honors? Predictable to do that three times in a row, don’t you think?”

She laughed again. “That’s a new one. I’ll have to log that under my favorite insults.”

“Well, I have loads. You’re giving me lots of material, Miss Olvera,” he mocked her, going back to skimming her resume.

Truthfully, he was trying to scare her away by being mean, and it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to dig too deep, though, because he wasn’t that evil.

He liked the girl – hell, if he didn’t like her, would he be bending over backwards to make her hate him purely for her safety?

“I can’t pay you well. I’m still rebuilding, and we’re barely breaking even. We’ve been sticking to straight work till I can manage to rebuild our reputation and relationships with buyers.”

She nodded. “I completely understand, and I don’t mind.”

“What, are you gonna ask me for a place to stay next?” He grumbled, rolling his eyes.

He was lying if he didn’t feel a little something stir in his stomach at the possibility of her staying in his apartment above the shop.

“No, I’m alright.”

“You came back to L.A. and you immediately have a place to stay? You’re lying.”

Her lips pressed into a firm line, she shook her head. “I’m back at my dad’s house.”

“What? There’s no fucking way I’m letting you work here if you’re living with a cop –”

“He passed away last year,” she chewed her lip, trying to keep her face neutral. “He had a heart attack in the middle of the night. Couldn’t get to the phone in time.

“Thankfully, he had a will set in place soon after mom died,” she shrugged. “I got the house, so I’m good.”

His fists clenched at his side. He’d already taken it too far without even meaning to.

“Sorry to hear that.”

She scoffed, a single forced laugh bursting from her lips. “You don’t have to respect him in front of me to save face or whatever. Your feelings about my dad don’t affect me.”

He nodded once, and the room descended into silence. He took the time to actually read her resume that time around, finding himself genuinely impressed with what she’d accomplished.

What he wanted to ask was “Why the fuck did you come back here?” but instead, what came out was, “You’re sure you can handle this?”

“I’m sure.”

She said those words with such conviction that he never had to ask again.

Raquel cuddled up to him, her breathing evening out. He hadn’t realized they’d gone that long without speaking.

He didn’t mind it though. He didn’t care as long as she was with him.

She stirred in her sleep, nearly rolling off of him, so he took that as his cue to tuck her in.

When she was settled under the covers, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and stepped out onto the deck.

The beach house they’d rented was a hundred feet from the shore, the waves grating against the sand creating the perfect white noise.

Perfect for sleeping, he mused, thinking about how quickly Raquel fell asleep in his arms, watching the water crash and retreat, push and pull over and over.

That same back and forth was what eventually brought him and Raquel together. They butted heads constantly, but had the same view on lots of decisions. They’d finish each other’s sentences and the crew would give each other knowing looks that he ignored.

A year in, she finally broke down. Not purposefully, and certainly not with the intent of him finding her curled into a sobbing mess outside of the garage.

“Hey what the hell, Raquel? It’s dangerous out here,” he called as he jogged up to her crumpled form.

He didn’t notice she was crying until he’d crouched down to check the injuries he thought she’d have.

She shielded her face with one hand and used the other to wave him away. “Just go.”

“I’m not leaving until you’re safe.”

It wasn’t even meant to be romantic. He’d do it for the rest of his crew since they’d grown so close.

There wasn’t a possibility of anything happening between them, or so he thought at the time. And what she admitted to him that night sealed their fate for years.

He’d managed to help her inside to his office, pulling back his worn office chair for her to collapse into.

A short “You okay?” Was all he could manage. He was new to this wellness check stuff and it didn’t come naturally to him.

But he knew as a leader, he had to do a lot more than just telling people what to do. Even if they split without a word in a week’s time, they were still a working machine that needed a little elbow grease every once in a while.

Even in the dim lamp light he could tell her eyes were red rimmed.

“I don’t think you want to hear my explanation as to why I’m not,” she laughed humorlessly, using the sleeve of her shirt to scrub the streak of makeup under her eye.

“I’m not good at this comforting shit, but I’ve got ears and I’ve gotten pretty good at using them,” he joked, sliding into the rickety folding chair in front of the desk.

She shrugged, flinging her hands up. “You’re gonna make fun of me –”

“– I won’t –”

“– You will, Colt. I know you and you’re gonna scoff the minute I take a breath.”

He couldn’t hold back the small smile at that.

“Well, yeah, but you don’t have to take it to heart.”

She sniffled, laughing. “You’re hard to ignore.”

“So are you, hard ass. Tell me what’s wrong.”

The sigh that came from her was labored, struggled, like she was about to drop heavy weights onto the floor of the office.

“Today’s the one year anniversary since I started working for you.”

He cocked a brow. “That’s it?”

“If you’d just let me explain then you’d know,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re already sucking at being a good listener.”

He held his hands up in surrender, leaning back into his chair. “Sorry.”

“My whole game plan was to figure out how to make myself useful. It’s why I got my Masters in accounting in the first place. I wanted to have my solid place in the crew, you know? Like I earned my spot.”

He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“I just had this stupid fairytale idea in my head about coming back to L.A. and none of that’s come true.”

“Well, what was it? Anything I can do?” He asked.

Raquel sank her teeth into her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She shook her head in response, taking a few deep breaths till she could finish.

“I wanted our old crew back. I… thought Logan would be back here by now, or looking for me at the very least,” she rubbed her temples, closing her eyes. “I waited five years to come back here and I’ve barely lasted one year in L.A. without him.”

He couldn’t help but flex his hand in and out of a fist a couple times as she spoke.

Yeah, it was true he didn’t care for Logan that much, but she liked him. Loved him, even.

If she was this dedicated to him six years later and he still hadn’t tried finding her, he didn’t deserve her.

“So it’s about Logan?” He asked with zero judgement, and she could tell.

She nodded, sniffling again. “Maybe I’ve just deluded myself into thinking we meant more to each other, but I’m still in love with him and I don’t know when that’s going to end for me.”

He didn’t know what to say, so he did what he thought was best.

He stood up, taking a couple steps till he was close enough to lay his palm on her shoulder, rubbing his thumb gently across the fabric.

She laid her hand on his thumb, holding it in place, as the sobs shook her body.

After that, he tried his hardest to keep her from crying. Which entailed leaving Logan’s name out of things.

Colt abandoned his shirt and shoes at the back door and hopped off the deck, landing softly on the sand. He took his time walking towards the water, gaze transfixed on the moon, which was at its peak in the sky.

He always thought the fact that the sea and moon were interlinked was kind of peculiar. The moon, thousands and thousands and thousands of miles away, had just enough power to pull the waves in the right direction.

He thought of Raquel like his moon far too often. The minute he was in her gravitational pull, he found himself wanting to follow her – to let her take the reins – and that was rare.

The first time he knew it was the beginning of the end with her was when a job went south.

Three years after she broke down about wanting the old crew back, they got a taste of the old violence.

One of their crew members, Isaac, had said for weeks that he had a weird gut feeling about that job in particular. Colt waved him off, reminding him that he’d value proof over superstition anyday.

In short, they were ambushed – nothing out of the ordinary in terms of their day to day risk.

What Colt wasn’t expecting, however, was for Raquel to be the one who got hurt.

They were cornered by the masked group, and before their crewmember Aly could grab her gun and shoot, one of them fired, the cracking sound of the gunshot echoing off the concrete flooring of the rundown parking garage.

Raquel’s pained groan followed immediately after.

Colt’s heart stopped when he saw the fabric of her jeans turning a deep deep maroon, the blood spreading faster than he could process what’d happened.

Her eyes fluttered and she stumbled to her knees, crying out as she knelt, bending her legs, one of which had been freshly torn through with a bullet.

“Don’t let them get away –” he shouted, flinging his arm in the direction of the fleeing criminals. He knelt down to scoop Raquel’s crumpled form into his arms. “Isaac, stay here.”

Isaac froze, nodding. “Anything you need, boss.”

“Drop me off at the shop so I can patch her up. I have to stop the bleeding.”

Colt’s voice was calm and even, but inside he was at his breaking point. He sat in the backseat of the car with Raquel strewn across his lap, the color draining from her face with each passing minute.

His palm was firmly pressed against her calf to halt the bleeding. He was thankful that the adrenaline was numbing the pain till they could make it to the shop.

She’d wince every time he adjusted his slippery grip, instinctively turning her head into the crook of his neck. That didn’t cross his mind till much later.

When she attempted talking once or twice, he furiously shushed her each time. “Save your energy. You’ll need it.”

When Isaac skidded to a stop in the garage, Colt tossed his keys Isaac’s way. “Take my car and get out of the city for a few days. Lay low. I’ll clean this one up and it’ll be good as new when you come back.”

Isaac nodded, brows furrowed. “I should’ve… I knew it was gonna go south but I should’ve tried to convince you again –”

Colt held up a hand. “You were right, and I should’ve trusted your gut instinct, and I will from now on. This is solely on me. Don’t blame yourself.”

He nodded, hopping out of the car, sliding into Colt’s convertible, and disappearing into the night.

He’d managed to get Raquel into the apartment and onto the worn leather couch in the office – she was pale and clammy, flitting in and out of being fully aware of what was going on.

“Colt… I can clean up my leg, just… just give me a second to catch my breath,” she said, her eyes drooping closed.

“Absolutely not. Give me a second. I’m trying to find the goddamn gauze but I don’t see it anywhere –”

He was glad his back was turned, because he was shaking in terror and rage in a way he hadn’t in a long time.

The first aid kit clattered out of his hands and onto the desk, and he cursed, gripping the side of the desk till his knuckles were bright white and screaming at him to let go.

“Colt…” she whispered. “I’ll be fine. I’m just hurting.”

He dragged a chair to her side, propping her ankle up against his knee before getting to work cutting a thin line up the outer seam of her jeans. The blood trickled onto his own leg, saturating the denim of his pant leg immediately.

“Are you gonna ignore me the whole time you work on my leg?” She joked, wincing. “Fuck –”

The scissors were close to the wound, and he tried his best to stretch it away from it before cutting further.

“Sorry,” he murmured, grabbing two rags and dousing it in hydrogen peroxide. He rolled up the second one, handing it to Raquel.

She sighed shakily before stuffing it into her mouth, digging her fingers into the cracked leather of the couch.

She nodded once, giving him the sign to get it over with.

The second the damp rag touched her bloodied skin, she panted through her nose, eyes screwed shut.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” He grunted, grimacing as her thigh bucked against his hand, despite him trying to hold her in place.

When he touched the wound, she screamed, devolving into choked, muffled sobs.

He’d made a vow to make sure she never cried over Logan again, and instead he’d broken his promise by putting her in direct danger over and over and over again.

There was no reason for her to accompany them on jobs – she knew the risk, and didn’t care, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t stop her from coming.

No matter how hard he tried, he was always the reason she was getting hurt.

“This is all my fault,” he said, when he’d finished cleaning her wound. “I should’ve never let you come along to our trades.”

She scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, a couple stray tears still glistening across her temples. “I wanted to be a part of this. Like you said to Isaac, you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“I don’t care what you say, alright? It was my fucking fault and you should’ve never been a part of this life.”

“Colt.”

He glanced up, barely able to meet her gaze.

“Whether you want to admit it or not, I’ve been a part of this life for nearly ten years now. I’m almost thirty. You’re closer to thirty than me. I know what I’ve gotten myself into, and I’m sticking by you regardless of the risk on my life.”

She slipped a clammy hand over his, which still held her thigh firmly in place. “If I lose my life on a job, I don’t regret it at all. I’d never regret meeting you.”

She took a labored breath, laying back against the armrest. “That took a lot out of me.”

Colt shook his head. “Stop talking. You need your energy.”

Raquel rolled her eyes. “I try being nice to you and you ignore it every time.”

“I just don’t know what the fuck to say to that. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that, huh?” He asked incredulously.

She blinked, her eyes narrowing. “I just got fucking shot, and you’re cursing at me while asking me to be your therapist? Am I hearing that right?”

He picked up his bloodied hands from her leg and threw them up in the air. “I have a lot going on in my head right now, and I’m not trying to fight you or get you to be my fuckin’ therapist, alright? I’m just confused.” He was barely below a shout, his chest heaving when he was done.

“I can’t read your mind, Colt. I’m kind of delirious with blood loss right now, so the least you can do is not yell at me and ask me politely to slate this conversation for later,” she said firmly, wincing while she shifted on the couch.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he panted, shrugging his stained black thermal off. He tossed it to the side, revealing his equally as bloodied white tee.

He slipped that shirt off, too, tearing the shirt into long strips.

Raquel watched him, her brown eyed gaze one of both confusion and something more he couldn’t place and didn’t care to think about.

Wordlessly, he plopped back down, tying the shredded strips above the wound on her calf, fingertips grazing her skin as delicately as he could manage.

He let his hands linger for a bit too long, staring at the open wound on her leg.

Daring a look her way, Colt caught her watching him with a soft gaze, one that he hadn’t earned.

“You’re not mad at me for being there tonight… you’re mad at yourself for not protecting me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded once.

“You’re hoping that this makes me want to leave, because you won’t ask me yourself. You don’t want me to leave.”

He nodded again, glancing away from her.

After a long silence and avoidance of turning her way, she spoke first.

“You’re worried I don’t feel the same.”

He froze, dropping his hands from her leg. She was right, but if he admitted to it and she still didn’t feel the same, then what was he risking all this shit for?

Why was he still clinging onto the hope that she’d feel the same if nine years of pining was seconds away from being thrown out the window?

Mustering up his remaining courage, he nodded one last time.

And when he looked at her that time, she was beaming. Through the excruciating pain, she was smiling.

He broke first, scooting to the edge of his chair to get as close as he could. “What?”

“It’s funny that you were worried we weren’t on the same page. I think we might’ve been for a long time,” she laughed, hoarse and weak, but it was still her laugh that he loved so much.

“What do you mean?”

And then she said the words that he’d desperately needed to hear for nearly a decade.

“I came for Logan but I stayed for you.”

Once Raquel admitted that to him, he was all in. Completely committed, never faltering.

Their first kiss was anything but, the sensation one of nine years of pent up feelings from Colt’s end, and years of her own. Their first kiss was more of a sealant of their future (and their fate).

Their first kiss was everything Colt had dreamed of.

He kissed her like she was air and he was drowning and she was filling his lungs to the brim, her warmth spreading from his insides out.

She didn’t pull away after the first one, and neither did he.

For who knew how long, he was on his knees next to the bloodied couch, cupping her face with his palms, and kissing her like he had a decade of missed opportunities to make up for.

After that, they were inseparable.

And he never doubted her devotion to him again.

They fell into a routine of working at the shop together during the day and into the late hours of the night after everyone had left, before stumbling upstairs into Colt’s apartment, lips locked, hands roaming.

And she drove him to every job from then on, easily evading cops and maneuvering the underbelly of L.A. like it was second nature.

Colt waded into the warm water, barely feeling it as it lapped at his ankles, calves, thighs.

When he was waist deep, he opted to float on his back, using the opportunity to revel in the star littered sky. One he didn’t get to see too often in the heavily light polluted sky of Los Angeles. Was this really the same sky he’d lived under all these years?

He didn’t really plan on marrying Raquel.

It was never in the sleazy way where he was going to leave her the second he got what he wanted – he was content being with her. Living with her. Kissing her. Loving her.

But he didn’t think he needed to go through the motions because that’s supposedly what people in love did. He figured it was enough to spend his life with her without doing all the extra shit.

She brought it up first, nearly four years later.

At that point, he moved into her father’s house with her – they’d crash in Colt’s old apartment above the shop if they were too tired to drive home.

They were curled up on the old futon in his room, huddling under the blankets, and she was curled against his side, drawing circles through his short tuft of chest hair.

“We should get married.”

“Hmm?” He asked, in a haze, nearly drifting off to sleep before she’d spoken.

“You heard me.”

“You really wanna?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve always wanted to get married, even when I was a little girl.”

He kissed the top of her head, squeezing her closer.

“You’ve always been a daydreamer then,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I used to dig up my old Easter dresses and strut into the living room asking my Dad to walk me down the aisle.”

“And did he?”

She laughed, lifting her head to get a good look at him. “Yep. Walked me right down the hallway and back to my room to change me out of my clothes.”

Her face fell a bit despite the fond memory. “I think I care more about it now because I know my parents won’t be there. It feels like if I don’t get married, I’m breaking a promise, as dumb as that sounds.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t sound dumb at all, sweetheart. I don’t care what we do as long as it makes you happy.”

She smiled, leaning in to press a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you.”

Wrapping her up in a hug, he kisses her back with fervor, echoing her sentiment in the form of mumbling against her lips. I love you.

Roughly a year later, they opted for a quick courthouse wedding and a honeymoon that consisted of staying in bed all day and ordering food to build back the calories they’d burned.

Around that time, Raquel reconnected with some of her only living relatives on her Dad’s side. She’d gotten close to a few of her distant cousins, and they convinced her to have a small ceremony for their family in Belize.

And fifteen years after he’d met Raquel, on the cusp of spring and summer, he married her again in front of an intimate crowd and kissed her like it was their first time.

He’d complained about having to ass kiss her judgemental old relatives, but he didn’t really mind. Seeing her in a white dress, beaming like it was the best day of her life, was enough to make any issue nothing but a minor annoyance.

“Hey!”

Colt swirled his arms in the water till he was upright again, grinning when he noticed the bright red lines on her face – she’d clearly just woken up.

“Hey, sweetheart. You sleep okay?”

“Come back to bed,” she asked, pointing at the back door of their beach house.

He tipped his chin at her. “You come out here.”

She rolled her eyes, before tearing off her nightgown, running towards the water at full speed, no hesitation.

He caught her in his arms, letting her wrap her legs comfortably around his waist while he waded out to deeper waters.

“Ugh. I was having a good dream, too, until I realized the bed was empty,” she grumbled, looping her arms tighter around his neck.

“Sorry about that. I promise next time I’ll wake you up before I head out.”

She nodded, content with his answer.

They were both chest deep in the water, faces close, the soft rays from the moon the only light they had.

“Why’d you bring me out here, Colt?” She murmured, eyes flitting to his lips, which were upturned in a soft smile.

“I was just thinking. This spring makes fifteen years since I met you.”

She hugged him, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “And only, like, six years since we came to our senses.”

He laughed heartily, squeezing her tighter around the waist. “You’re right.”

“Remember when we jumped off the cliff together?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course. It was the first time I ever felt a spark with you,” she grinned. “Took a long time for it to turn into a flame, though.”

“That was the first time I knew I loved you,” he admitted. “I wanted to kiss you so badly and I kicked myself in the ass for years for not trying –”

She cut him off with a passionate kiss, her tongue slipping into his mouth almost as soon as his mouth moved in tandem with hers. It was the sloppy, unplanned kiss he’d envisioned for that day.

“I think everything worked out for the better. I’m not sure we were ready for each other back then,” she said honestly, her forehead pressed against his.

“We needed to grow a little bit before falling in love, huh? You’re so smart,” he said, voice low, pressing another kiss to her lips.

“Yeah, and now we’ve got the rest of our lives.”

She was right (like she always was), and he couldn’t help but feel a twinge in his chest like he’d felt many times before.

He’d waited that damn long for her, so he was going to savor the rest of their life together as much as he could.

#playchoices #choices rod #rodaw #rodtimecapsule #colt kaneko #colt kaneko x mc #jade writes choices fics #cw: injury #cw: guns #cw: blood #tw wounds #tw injury

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agustdakasuga · 4 years

Text

A Place Called Home Drabble | ‘wedding day’

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook

Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

It’s time to make it official.

*DING DONG*

You ran to open the room door.

“Head nurse Park!” You cried out loud, throwing your arms around her. She took a step back in shock as she hugged you, rubbing your back. You have been a mess the entire morning.

“Where’s the angel?” She asked as you invited her into the hotel suite.

“Taking his morning nap. He probably shouldn’t be seeing his mother turn into such a mess.” You rubbed your temples. Head nurse Park laughed and rubbed your back as you led her to the baby room, where Yoonjae was sleeping soundly. After checking him, the two of you stepped out.

“Alright, I’m here on baby duty. Go back to getting ready.” She shooed you away. You went back to the main bedroom where your make up artist and hair stylist was waiting for you.

“Calm down, mama.” Dr Yu patted your shoulders.

“I can’t!” You were so jittery. The hair stylist continued curling and styling your hair while the make up artist finished your eyeshadow.

“You’ll be fine. Don’t worry, you’re psyching yourself out.” Dr Lee chuckled, sipping her champagne with Dr Yu.

“We bought a non alcoholic one for you.” She handed you a glass of alcohol free sparkling juice. You couldn’t drink since you were still breastfeeding Yoonjae and you weren’t going to risk something happening to a child because you were careless, no matter what the occasion was. You sipped the cold liquid, the bubbles helping you calm down.

“I’m so glad I have you two.” You sighed happily.

“We’ve got your back.” The two laughed.

“Look who is awake, mama?” Head nurse Park came in with a half asleep Yoonjae. Yoonjae was never a baby that really cried much, which you were very thankful for.

“Hello, angel.” You took Yoonjae into your arms. He rested his cheek on your shoulder, yawning sleepily.

“He really is Yoongi’s son.” Dr Yu shook her head with a smile. Yoonjae loved napping, especially with his father. The two were really carbon copies.

“Let’s get you changed.” You handed Yoonjae over to head nurse Park and went into the big bathroom with Dr Yu and Dr Lee. They unzipped the dress and helped you stepped in.

“Absolutely stunning.” The two smiled softly at you. You turned around to see your reflection in the mirror and felt tears well up in your eyes.

“No crying! You’ll ruin your make up and we’ll have to redo it!” Dr Lee laughed as she grabbed a tissue to dab under your eyes gently. You laughed through your tears. Not once did you ever imagine that you would be here, standing at where you currently were..

“Is she ready?” You heard a new voice and held your dress up, going out.

“Mom.” You greeted her and she turned to face you. Seeing you all dolled up with your hair and make up in your stunning dress made her feel emotional too. And your mother was never one to really show emotions.

“Beautiful.” She held your shoulders to take a good look at you. You hugged her, wrapping your arms around her.

“You’ve really grown so much. I am proud of you and what you’ve become.” Your mother said.

“Really?” You felt another round of tears come.

“I don’t show it but I am so proud of you. Look at what a beautiful family you have.” She lightly kissed your cheek. From head nurse Park’s arms, Yoonjae reached out, wanting to be held by his grandmother. Your mother chuckled and held the child in her arms, cradling him gently, just like how she used to do it with you when you were Yoonjae’s age.

“No more tears.” She smiled at you.

“I’m only here because of you.” You knew what hardships your mother had to go through when your dad left without a trace. Even if you two never really expressed emotions, you were still very grateful for her.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Who is it?” Dr Yu went to the door.

“No! I told you 7 that you’re not allowed to be here!” You heard her scolding and you already knew that it must have been the boys at the door.

“I just want to know if my son is okay.” You distinctively heard Yoongi’s voice.

“He is fine, in good hands. His mother and grandmother are here to look after him. You can see him after the ceremony. Now shoo! Go back to your wing!” She came back in, slamming the door in their faces. You threw your head back in laughter at her actions.

“We have to go soon too.” Dr Lee checked her watch.

“Stay with halmeoni, baby.” You kissed Yoonjae’s cheeks, laughing when you saw the sparkle from your lip gloss on his skin. Quickly, you grabbed a wet wipe to get it off.

“Let’s go!” Dr Yu and Dr Lee slung arms with you. You nodded your head and wore your shoes.

You stepped out but stopped outside the double doors. Your mother stood by your side with Yoonjae in her arms. He blinked in confusion, eyes shifting from side to side and you just melted at how adorable he was.

“They’re in position.” Dr Lee peeked into the doors. You were jumpy and just couldn’t breathe properly with your heart pounding against your chest. You couldn’t believe it was actually happening. Of course, you had planned this with the boys a year ago and did a count down but you still felt that you didn’t have time to mentally prepare yourself.

“You’ll be fine, dear. Calm down.” Your mother chuckled.

“I just can’t believe it’s happening. What if we moved too fast? Are we being too rash?” You panicked.

“Rash? You do know your mother is holding your son right? Those men there love you to death and they’ll never regret anything so you don’t have to worry. Stop scaring yourself.” Dr Yu told you.

“You’re right.” You side eyed Yoonjae, who was blinking at you.

“I’m ready.” You took a deep breath. The doors opened and Dr Yu walked in front of you with Dr Lee, each holding their own bouquets. You walked behind them, holding your mother’s arm as she held Yoonjae. Yoonjae just looked bored at this point.

“Absolutely gorgeous.” The 7 boys thought as they stood at the end of the aisle in their suits, waiting for you.

The wait was definitely worth it, seeing your ethereal beauty. They were not allowed to see your dress, to see what you looked like. This was the first time this whole day that they were seeing you in your dress.

“Hi.” You said shyly as you faced them.

“Hey.” They greeted back, speechless from your beauty. Your cheeks heated up and you had to fan yourself slightly.

“You may not exchange your vows with one another.” The officiant stepped aside to give all of you space. You all faced each other.

“Snowflake.”

“Kitten.”

“Petal.”

“My love.”

“Angel.”

“Jagi.”

“Beautiful.”

They all started their vows with your pet names, just like how they started when they first proposed to you at your new house.

“I guess I’m first. You know I’m not one to openly talk about love like that but the first thing I have to say is, thank you, kitten. Not only did you save my life, but you also opened my heart. You healed me and my wounds. When you first brought me home, never did I think we would all be standing here. Now, we have our beautiful first born, Yoonjae. It’s an honour being your first hybrid.” Yoongi said.

The two of you turned to Yoonjae, who was now smiling at you.

“Snowflake, there’s just so much to say. You say that I’m someone you know you can count on. Well, I feel that way with you. I know that you’ll always be there for me, for us. When things grew dark in my life, you were the light that constantly guided me.” Jin smiled.

“Jagi, if you didn’t help me that night at the diner, I may not even be here. You took me, a stray, into your home just like that. You granted me shelter, you gave me a home.” Taehyung kept his short and sweet, worried he may cry.

“I wasn’t there when you first met me. But I know, for sure, that I would have died that night if you didn’t save me. Even when I was angry with the world, you were always patient with me. You protected me and showed me what real love was.” Namjoon grinned, his dimple popping out.

“(y/n), you were the angel in my life. I was scared of the outside world. No matter what happened, you have never judged me. You were always there to encourage me and love me. Even when you were in pain, you put me before yourself.” Jimin said.

“My petal. I think if Yoongi hyung never found me that night, I never would have met you. I’m grateful for that. You love me for who I am. You give me the courage to be myself. You never made us feel unloved or abandoned.” Hoseok spoke.

“I was so horrible to you when we first met. I was just so angry but you never gave up on me, not once did you show any frustration. You were so loving, patient and kind, and you still are. When I came to you, you didn’t push me away like I did to you. Instead, you hugged me and let me cry on your shoulder.” Jungkook teared up.

You were sure that you were a crying mess at this point. Jin cooed and leaned in to wipe your tears.

“Breathe, my love.” Namjoon had a patient smile on his face.

“Never did I once imagine that I would be standing here, getting married to all of you. From the night I met Yoongi, to right now, I have never felt even an ounce of regret from meeting all of you.

You have all come so far and I am so proud of you. I’m grateful you let me stay by your side through each of your own journeys. You’re here today because of your own efforts and strong wills to get better and get to this point, you guys should give yourself more credit. It’s not all me.

We’ve been through a lot but I think that’s what makes us closer. I can’t wait for what life has installed for us but we’ll do it all together.” You said.

The officiant carried on with the ceremony.

“Do you take (y/n) (y/l/n) to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He turned to the 7 hybrid boys.

“I do.” They said in unison.

“Do you take these 7 men to be your lawfully wedded husbands?” He turned to you. You gulped and nodded your head.

“I do.” You said.

“You may now exchange rings.” They had their silver bands on while you had your diamond ring on your finger. You share a small kiss with each of them to end the ceremony. The crowd cheered and clapped for you as the 8 of you stepped out of the wedding hall.

“You’re officially ours.” The boys shared looks and pulled you into their group hug. You laughed, letting your tears fall. Taehyung was quick to wipe them up.

“Come here, Yoonjae.” You carried him into your arms and Yoonjae rubbed his face into your neck. Yoongi rubbed his son’s back.

“We love you.” The boys said.

“I love you all too.” You smiled softly.

“If we didn’t already mention, you look beautiful, snowflake. The dress is definitely made for you.” Jin held your hands in his and you blushed slightly, not used to the compliments.

“You all look rather dashing yourselves.” You giggled. Yoonjae began to whine, probably sleepy and wanting to take his nap.

“I’ll take over.” Yoongi carried Yoonjae and stepped aside to a more quiet area to soothe his son and put him to sleep. Jungkook wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your cheek.

“I was so nervous.” You told them honestly.

“Afraid we would run away?” Jungkook teased and you blushed.

“Well, if it was any consolation, we were afraid that you would run away. That when those doors opened, there would be no one standing there.” Hoseok gently patted your head and you laughed. It was some comfort that the boys were fearing the same thing that you were fearing. I guess, you could call it a match made in heaven them.

“We would never run away from you.” Jimin gently cupped your cheeks.

“Yeah, you’re kinda stuck with us for life.” Taehyung held your hand with your wedding band, running his thumb over it.

“There’s nothing I would want more.” You confessed, playing along with their cheesy, flirty attitude. Turning your head, you saw that Yoonjae had quickly fallen asleep in Yoongi’s arms.

“But seriously, my love. There was nothing for you to worry about. You are absolutely perfect. It would be crazy of us not to wed you.” Namjoon consoled.

“I know, it’s was just my nerves getting the best of me.” You smiled.

“Well, it’s your wedding day so enjoy yourself. We’ve got baby duty taken care of.” Jin gestured to Yoonjae.

“But it’s all of your wedding day too. We should all be enjoying it together. We can share baby duty. And Yoonjae is the easiest baby to care for. We’re married now, we have to share everything, including baby duties. Or did you forget that?” You giggled as you nudged him.

“Oh right, I nearly forgot. Thanks for the reminder.” Jin winked. You burst out laughing and hugged him.

“I haven’t scolded you guys for making me sob up there! What was with those vows, are you all trying to kill me? And you guys were the ones that made me promise no emotional vows.” You crossed your arms.

“Yeah, we made you promise no emotional vows. We never promised anything.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

“Well played, Jeon.” You playfully glared at him.

“Time for pictures!” Dr Yu and Dr Lee, your bridesmaids, called all of you. Your mother helped hold a sleeping Yoonjae.

“Say cheese!” You stood in the middle of all your boys as the photographer snapped the picture.

Everything just felt right. It had been right since the beginning but this just made it all that real, it made it official. You’re all tied together by the strings of fate and nothing was ever going to separate you from your boys. From this point on, you knew your family was just going to grow with your love for one another.

Tag list

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evanoracronwell · 3 years

Text

You've got us.

Read on ao3

Buck took a deep breath as soon as Athena had left with Bobby. He tried to suppress the avalanche of feelings that had been trying to escape him since the moment Maddie had told him about Daniel. Twenty-nine years living in a giant, cruel lie. Now, at least he knew why his parents had never been able to love him. At least now, he understood why he had never felt good enough. It's because he never had been.

A few steps away, he saw Eddie approaching him while he removed his helmet and gloves and threw them in the back of the ambulance right next to Buck.

"I know what you're going to say. I was reckless, stupid, and could have died. I know that I just..."

Any other word died on his lips because Eddie held his face with both hands with such care and affection that Buck felt his throat close; no one had ever looked at him that way, as if he were hanging the moon, as if Eddie was afraid that he was going to disappear before his eyes.

"Never again, did you hear me? Never again do you dare to pull something like that on me. Damn it, Buck, I almost died thinking something might have happened to you."

His voice was hoarse and choked as if he was trying very hard not to burst into tears right there, and Buck wanted to say something, claim that he was fine and that nothing had happened, but then Eddie came closer, standing between Buck's legs, his body so close to Buck's, that he could feel his heartbeat through his uniform. As if that weren't enough, Eddie touched his forehead to Buck's, mixing their breath. There was nothing Buck could do but raise his hands to Eddie's waist, pulling him even closer.

"I'm truly sorry,” he murmured, watching as Eddie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Buck followed in his footsteps, closing his eyes and concentrating only on Eddie's breathing, on the feeling of their bodies so close together, on how Eddie slid one of his hands up to the nape of his neck, pulling his hair so softly that Buck could barely feel it, but strong enough to give him the feeling of being terrified.

"Just promise me you will never do something like that again."

"Eddie, you know I can't..."

"No!” He looked away and opened his eyes, staring at Buck with determination. "I don't care that this is the job. You can't put yourself in danger like that, do you understand me? What the hell am I going to say to Christopher if something happens to you? That boy loves you, Buck; you're too important to him."

"I know, but Eddie I..."

"What about me? Damn Buck, what the fuck am I supposed to do if something happens to you? Have you ever stopped to think about that? I know you always put other people above yourself, that you always want to save everyone and you don't care to put your life on the line to do it, but... think of me, okay? If you want to put others above yourself so badly, then put me and Chris first. Every time you decide to risk yourself like this, think first about what it would do to us. "

"Eddie, I'm so sorry... you're right. I didn't think what it would do to you and Chris. Honestly, I didn't think it could affect you so much."

"How could you not know, Buck? How can you not know how important you are to us? Buck, I...” he took a deep breath again and then took Buck's face in his hands one more, making the blonde look at him directly in the eyes. "If anything happened to you, I would completely lose my mind; do you understand that? I would die, Buck, okay? You are everything and... you can't... never... okay? You can't leave me."

"I won't,” he says as firmly as he can, his blue eyes are already wet with tears and his voice breaking slightly. But he holds Eddie around the waist again and pulls him even closer than before, hugging him tightly as he sinks his face against his neck, breathing in the smell that is so unmistakably Eddie even under the smell of all the smoke.

"Please Buck, I know there's something going on inside your head. Please talk to me; it kills me to see you like this."

"I wasn’t enough, Eddie,” he grumbles against Eddie's neck, feeling like he just wants to hug him even tighter, and stroking the back of his neck. "They had me as a baby savior, but I couldn't save Daniel... I wasn't enough, and they hated me for it."

"Hey, no. Buck, you can't blame yourself for that, do you hear me? Your parents had no right to put that weight on you, much less the right to walk away from you after Daniel died. That's on them, Buck, not you. "

"Maybe. But they were also right, weren't they? I always do everything wrong, Eddie; I was a handful to Bobby when I walked into the fire department, always being irresponsible and reckless. I wasn't there when Maddie needed me, I... Eddie, I lost Christopher; you trusted me, and I... I lost him. "

"No, Buck!”Eddie moved away again, just enough to look into Buck's eyes, but close enough to still keep him in his arms. "You are an excellent firefighter, and Bobby couldn't have anyone better than you at 118. You took care of Maddie and protected her ever since she came to LA; you were there, Buck, every step of the way you stood beside her. And Chris... Jesus, Buck, you need to stop blaming yourself for this. You never lost him, Buck, a tsunami happened and you did everything to make sure he was safe, nothing that happened was your fault. "

"Yeah maybe, but I..."

"God, you have no idea how much I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Maybe that way you would see the wonderful man you are. You care about everyone, you are loving and caring, you are always willing to help and reach out to anyone who needs it. "

Eddie smiled tenderly and ran his fingertips over Buck's face, wiping away the tears that were starting to trickle down the blonde's cheek.

"You are the man who spends his nights off playing video games with my son or watching cartoon movies; you help him with his homework and read about the subjects he’s interested in so you can talk to him about them later. You play lego with him on my living room floor, read bedtime stories to him, and make pancakes for breakfast because you know he loves them and that I can’t keep from burning them. You’re the man who assures me that I’m an excellent father every time I doubt myself, the guy who helped me build a skateboard so my son can feel like any other child. You are... something, Buck. You are unique. You are special. "

"Eddie..."

"And above it all, Buck, you are enough. You are more than enough for Christopher, and you are more than enough for me. Maybe your parents can't see it, but then, it's their fault, it's their loss. I just need you to know that you're not alone, Chris and I are here; you've got us, ‘cause we're not going anywhere, but I need you to stay too, okay? I need you to promise me you won't go anywhere either, Buck, because I wouldn't know how to survive if you did. "

"I promise."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes, I promise, Eddie. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, because I love you, Buck; I'm completely in love with you and I can't lose you, do you understand?"

Buck was going to answer, he really was going to say something, because, honestly, he had a million things to say in that moment. He wanted to say that he was also completely in love with Eddie, he wanted to say that he couldn't lose him either and that just the thought of something like that happening had left Buck awake for several nights. He wanted to say that when he had seen Eddie buried under all that mud, not knowing if they were going to get him back alive, that at that moment Buck had almost died, that for a few minutes he’d had to imagine his whole life without Eddie and that he would rather die than face that future. He wanted to say that he loved Christopher so deeply that it scared him sometimes, that he would give his life for that boy. There were a million things he wanted to say; but how could he say anything when Eddie pressed his lips against Buck's so firmly and so smoothly at the same time? How could he speak any words when he was being kissed by the man he loved with all his heart and soul? There he was, living a moment that he had lived countless times in his dreams, but that he had never thought he would be able to experience in reality.

And it was beautiful, it was intense, it was passionate and it tasted like a bright future. It was not the scene he had dreamed of; it didn’t have the romantic atmosphere of a candlelight dinner and music playing in the background. What they had were sirens and voices echoing everywhere, and the smell of smoke and the fumes of whatever product came from that factory.

It was messy and sloppy and perfect, and Buck wouldn't change a thing.

"Come home with me," Eddie murmured against his lips. Home. That sounded good.

When they were finally released from their shift, Eddie drove through the streets of Los Angeles holding Buck's hand against his thigh, refusing to stop touching him even for a second, as if he needed a guarantee that Buck was there, alive, beside him. And Buck would never deny Eddie's touch.

Entering Eddie's house brought a warm feeling to his chest; here he felt welcome and at home... but then again, home always seemed to be wherever Eddie and Chris were.

"We need to clean up," Eddie whispered as he took Buck's hand and led him to the bathroom. There was nothing sexual about the way they slowly undressed each other, nor the way they got under the shower, washing away any traces of soot and dirt from their skins. Eddie hugged him under the jet of hot water, his hands running down Buck's back, stroking him tenderly. He kissed Buck's hair, his forehead, his birthmark, his cheek, his nose, his lips. The second kiss was even better than the first, and the third better than the second.

They kissed without the slightest hurry, only concerned with savoring the taste of one another exploring every inch of each other's mouths, memorizing every second; because now they can.

And later, when they were both lying on the bed in nothing but their underwear, Buck curled up in Eddie's arms, feeling calm and welcomed in the warmth of Eddie's skin and the feeling of his breath against his neck. The darkness in the room seemed perfect at that moment, and Buck was lost in the rhythmic beating of Eddie's heart against his back.

"Eddie?"

"Yes, cariño?"

"I love you, too."

He was finally home.

#buddie #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #buck x eddie #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins #buck begins #911 fox #911 fic #that's what should had happened #buck deserves better #buck deserves the world #i never know how to tag these

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moonlayl · 3 years

Text

One of the most wildest takes i’ve ever come across after joining fandom, was that the loved ones of a problematic fav are actually the ‘bad guys’ or the ones in the wrong for having ‘negative’ reactions to the crimes committed by the fav.

Fans’ ability to do insane mental gymnastics to make out the villainous characters into the only possible victims and every other character is suddenly the bad guy, is awful, and so frustrating. (And this is coming from someone who DOES love villains/antagonists/characters who end up doing awful things)

Let’s look at the Umbrella Academy for example. Vanya, literally slits her sister’s throat after losing control of her powers, and then leaves her for dead. She doesn’t call an ambulance or call for any type of help. Just...leaves her there to die. If it weren’t for the brothers who happened to be searching for them, Allison would’ve died. And, the brothers find out that Vanya’s out of control powers, that almost killed Allison, and actually ended up hurting other people, will be the reason the whole fucking world is destroyed within DAYS. I’m not saying Luthor was necessarily RIGHT, to lock up Vanya, but also the amount of hatred this character got for doing so, even though it was a pretty logical action to take, was baffling. From what Luthor knew, Vanya was going to kill everyone in like a day. From the information he had, locking her in that vault would make her unable to use her powers. That’s what they thought. He had a pretty normal reaction given the circumstances. Let’s see, lock up Vanya, who almost killed Allison, is supposed to destroy the world, and might accidentally kill us all, in a vault where she can’t use her powers, or risk everyone, including 7 billion people, dying. I GET that Vanya didn’t have bad intentions. I GET, that her horrible childhood played a huge part in how things turned out, and that her inability to control her abilities aren’t her fault. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s completely shitty to expect people she hurt to just roll with it and be loving angels. Like, was Luthor supposed to go “hey, Allison’s in there, dying, and she likely won’t be able to speak for a long time, and you left her for dead, also you might destroy the whole world tomorrow, but that’s okay because i love you and i’m here for you”???? How is THAT realistic? Yeah, him not locking her up probably wouldn’t have caused her to lose further control, but he had no way of knowing, and it’s really unfair to expect people who were hurt to easily forgive and accept the person responsible for that hurt. Are some people capable of putting that aside, and comforting those who hurt them? Yes, definitely. But it’s unfair to expect it of them, and being reasonably upset/angry isn’t some sort of moral failing.

Another popular example is ROTS. Anakin (who is one of my fav characters) LITERALLY helped slaughter all the Jedi, and stood by as order 66 was executed. He joined the Sith, and he murdered INNOCENT children, dude strangled his own pregnant wife, but yeah sure, Obi-Wan leaving him burning after giving Anakin multiple warnings to stop fighting is the bad guy. Obi-Wan, who lost EVERYTHING in the span of a few hours, his home, his family, and was betrayed by the closest person to him, is the bad guy for not helping Anakin in the end. It’s “Screw Obi-Wan for adding more pain to poor Anakin’s life”. That’s the tragedy, right? Instead of you know “Anakin lost everything he tried so desperately to save because of his own choices, without realizing it before it was too late”. Like, I’m not saying Anakin is an awful character that shouldn’t be liked. I get that shit happens to people to make them hurt others. But it’s ridiculous to blame every single person in the world and not the person who made the ultimate mistakes. Did Obi-Wan and the jedi contribute to Anakin’s fall in the end? Yes, but without realizing it, and it was never their intention. They couldn’t have known. And Anakin made his own choice in the end.

Also, let’s look at SPN. Jack, destined to destroy the whole world, accidentally kills many innocent people, and kills Mary, but Dean wanting to lock him up where he can’t hurt anyone, and not willing to call him family after Jack killed his mom, is suddenly the bad, abusive guy??? Even after being told by Chuck, someone they thought was good, that Jack needed to be die for the world to be safe, Dean is still the bad guy for wanting to do what’s safest for everyone, and wanting to avenge his mom since apparently know one else sees her as a victim of Jack? And it’s worse, because the fandom actually blames Mary for being killed.

A fourth example. In Agents of Shield, Fitz knocks out Daisy, restrains her, and then literally cuts into her neck to retrieve her powers that she didn’t want. he violates her and continues to work as she screams and begs him to stop. He hurts her and betrays her trust completely. He risks permanently paralysing her from the neck down, AND he also threatens an injured Elena, and programs a robot to shoot Mack, yet Daisy being angry and locking him in a cell, after he literally tortured her and acted like a hydra agent, makes her a hardass unlikable bitch?? Mack, who got shot by a man he considered a friend, telling Fitz he’s fucked up, is the bad guy? Really? Mack and Daisy are the awful ones in that scenario, and not Fitz, the man who hurt them both and traumatized them? And it’s worse, because Fitz’ justification afterwards is “Daisy wouldn’t have agreed”. He didn’t even ask. And he continued to defend his actions, and tried to guilt trip her by bringing up past issues that weren’t actually comparable at all.

Why are certain characters expected to be all understanding and forgiving, and expected to just accept those who hurt them with no hard feelings, and hated for not doing so? Why aren’t those characters allowed to have human reactions, but when the faves constantly hurt others, suddenly a character’s background and trauma can excuse it??? It’s so frustrating interacting with fandom like that.

And it’s even worse when the characters that ARE capable of that level of understanding and forgiveness, are treated like the only good characters, even though usually the problematic favs that they forgive do nothing except continue to hurt them and are undeserving of that forgiveness.

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finalgirlbrainrot · 3 years

Note

I have two unpopular opinions 1) if roles were reversed and Dean was the one drinking blood, Dean stans would have excused the shit out of it and even liked it. 2) if none of Dean's trauma was addressed and ignored (like most of Sam's trauma is) Dean stans would fucking riot.

(sorry in advance, I ranted A Lot)

2) I'm gonna start with this one. YESYESYES I mean dean stans are already constantly unironically whining that dean's traumas never get acknowledged (EVEN THO IT'S LITERALLY NOT TRUE, HIS TRAUMAS ALREADY GET ACKNOWLEDGED MORE THAN ENOUGH. EVERY TIME HE STUBS HIS TOE. EVERYONE IS CODDLING HIM AND ASKING HIM HOW HE'S DOING. HALF THE SHOW IS LITERALLY DEAN MANPAINING ABOUT HIS TRAUMAS - but apparently that's not enough for them, so I can't imagine the uproar if it was actually true). meanwhile sam's traumas either get ignored or they get treated like a fucking joke? well I guess it's just another tuesday

I've also seen a lot of dean stans moaning about sam "forcing dean to talk about his traumas", because apparently sam actually acknowledging dean's traumas and encouraging him to open up about them and being always supportive af because he actually cares is unacceptable (and I'm willing to bet that if he didn't acknowledge them, they'd still complain because sam literally can't win no matter what he does)

but dean ignoring and never acknowledging sam's traumas (not even when he's directly responsible for said trauma) or making them all about himself (mystery spot, hallucifer, soullessness, gadreel possession) or vilifying and victim blaming him (being force-fed demon blood, soullessness, gadreel possession) or using said traumas to justify his actions (hallucifer) or making cruel, disgusting and unnecessary jokes about them ("you had a girl inside you for a whole week" [meg possession] "you know how wrong that sounds, right?" "you've like an episode of teen mom" [gadreel possession - let's talk about how these two in particular are a thousand times more disgusting than the rest since he's actually joking about a violation he's directly responsible for] "smores foot" [bmol torture] "crybaby pie" [cole torture] "you saw the [devil's] john [or butt]?" [the cage] dick of death jokes right, left and center) is perfectly acceptable behaviour

1) again YESYESYESYES. I mean, this isn't even a hypothesis, we already have an extremely similar storyline for dean - the moc - and everyone made excuses for him and glorified him, even tho he was worse than demon blood sam in every possible way

actually I wrote a rant on reddit a couple of days ago about the awful double standards between demon blood sam and moc/demon dean. I'm gonna paste it here because I'm Bitter Af

comparing demon blood sam and moc/demon demon is ironically and hysterically bitter because, logically, no matter how you spin it, s4 sam is much more understandable and easy to sympathize with - both in intentions and actions - and should have the moral high ground, while s9-10 dean was flat out awful and damaging. yet both the show and the fandom crucify sam and treat dean as some poor victim or a great martyred hero who made some great noble sacrifice and I just... don't get it. so let's break it down:

> reason for drinking blood / getting the moc

- sam: exorcising demons without harming the host, thus saving people (which apparently isn't that relevant to dean) and killing lilith, first because she sent his brother to hell and then to stop the apocalypse and because she was an actual threat

- dean: because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions after the gadreel mess and decided he wanted to kill abaddon, who, at that point, wasn't even their problem (she only became a real problem in 9x17, when they learned about the soul harvesting, so unless dean has some sort of prophetic knowledge, he had no reason to take the moc in 9x11) and was a real threat to no-one but crowley

> trusting / working with a demon

- sam: I've already said this before, but ruby was a master manipulator and went to extraordinary lengths to gain sam's trust and even managed to fool every single demon (aside from lilith obviously). as far as both brothers knew, she's done nothing but help them, saved their lives multiple times and helped them save others, fixed the colt for them, was there for sam after dean died, is basically hunted by other demons for helping them, has risked her life for them several times and even got tortured for them and was helping sam to go after the demon who was trying to start the apocalypse. sam had absolutely no valid reason not to trust her. I'd really like someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if anyone did everything I mentioned above, you wouldn't trust them

- dean: trusted a demon who they knew is extremely untrustworthy and self-serving and only does what's in his best interest and has screwed them over one way or another every time they worked together and has hurt people they're close to

> level of manipulation involved

- sam: as I already said, ruby was a master manipulator and spent two years carefully manipulating sam to get him to do what she wanted. not the mention everything azazel did to get him there, lilith pushing his buttons at every turn to get him to kill her and the manipulation from heaven as well, who were lying to the boys at every turn

- dean: while crowley was manipulating him, the level of manipulation isn't remotely comparable to the one sam went through is s4. crowley saying “let’s kill abaddon” and pretending to be afraid of cain is not comparable to a plan that’s been set on motion since the beginning of time and crowley wasn't the only one involved in dean getting the mark. cain was involved as well and he wasn't manipulating him (unlike sam, who was being manipulated by everyone involved). on the contrary, he was completely honest with dean and even offered to tell him more about the mark and DEAN REFUSED (like can you imagine how many problems would've been avoided if dean sat on his ass for one minute and listened to cain's warning???)

> actions

- sam: in s4 sam was trying to use something that was forced on him when he was six months old, and that he hated about himself, to do good because he felt like he had to and was literally SAVING PEOPLE and trying to stop the apocalypse, I literally still don't get why he's vilified for it????? in s4 sam killed a total of one (1) person: the possessed nurse and while that was obviously bad, 1) he was clearly upset about it and 2) I still haven't seen one (1) valid reason for why she's any different from the demons dean drained and killed in swan song or from any of the other possession victims they killed with the demon knife or the angel blade

- dean: meanwhile dean was going around murdering people left and right (also another example of fandom double standards: everyone defends moc!dean and demon!dean because "he only killed bad people" - which isn't even true, but let's say he was - and yet, I seem to remember a certain kitsune named amy pond, who was ALSO killing bad people (and not for the lolz of it, but to save her son) and dean killed her and the fandom defended him back then as well. is killing bad people okay only if dean does it?), tried to kill sam, beat cas bloody

> keeping secrets

- sam: keeping his powers and the demon blood a secret was his god given right, since it affected no-one but sam himself and the demons he was exorcising. not to mention, he had pretty good reasons for not telling dean, considering his bigotry, black and white views and judgmental attitude. and yet, he was, and still is, vilified by both the show and the fandom for keeping secrets and dean even punched him for not telling him about his abilities (something in particular about this point that absolutely drives me up the wall: in 4x04 sam accidentally revealed that he knew about what azazel did to him and dean got mad at him for not telling him about it, even tho dean himself found out about it and didn't tell sam and no-one - not the show, not the fandom and not even sam and dean themselves - notices the hypocrisy. they're literally saying that it's okay for DEAN to keeps something about SAM a secret from SAM, but not okay for SAM to keep something about HIMSELF a secret from DEAN. if you don't think that's super fucked up, then I don't know what to tell you)

- dean: no-one says anything about dean keeping the effects of the mark a secret, even tho, unlike s4 sam, lying about the mark directly affected other people and put everyone around him in danger, including sam

> general treatment

- sam: everyone treated sam like a monster in s4, dean straight up called him a monster, told him he'd hunt him if he didn't know him, forced him into a torture-detox that almost killed him, tried to control him and refused to see his point. at the end of s4 sam apologized to dean. in s5 dean repeatedly told him that he doesn't trust him. sam was blamed for everything that happened in s4 and his mistake kept getting brought up even seasons later

- dean: everyone and their mom was coddling him and helping to get rid of the mark. everyone considered the mark to be the problem, not dean himself. sam was unconditionally supportive. dean never once apologized to sam for any of the awful things he said/did to him while he had the mark. sam never once blamed dean for anything that happened in s9-10 and instead placed the blame on crowley and none of the things dean did ever got brought up again

> at the end of each arc

- sam: paid for his mistake by sacrificing himself and jumped into the cage and saved the world and got tortured by the devil himself for centuries

- dean: paid for his mistake by having his mother brought back to life

send me unpopular opinions

#redredwine92 #sORRY FOR THE MEGA RANT YFGEUFYUGY

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weebrecs · 4 years

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Recommended Romance Anime Part 2

Hi Everyone, Someone messaged me asking for straight romance anime recommendations. I already made one list here: (https://weebrecs.tumblr.com/post/157666048002/recommended-romance-anime) and I have included more below. The ones with the *** are movies. I hope you enjoy!!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (9/10) Chiyo is the definition of adorable and loveable, at least for everyone except for the person that she likes. Nozaki is oblivious to the world around him and most of all Chiyo’s interest in him. However, Nozaki’s distance is due to him actually being a respectable shoujo mangaka. In her efforts to win his heart Chiyo finds herself acting as Nozaki’s assistant. Together they undergo hilarious situations and act out possible scenarios for Nozaki’s manga. Nozaki asks Chiyo to help him with brainstorming situations for his romance manga and Chiyo swoons just like the protagonist of the manga, and Nozaki starts wondering where the manga ends and true love begins. It is a great show to watch and has interesting character development as Chiyo goes from a girl that has a simple crush to a girl with real reason and purpose. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Lovely Complex (8/10) If you love height differences then this is the show for you. Meet Koizumi who is much taller than the average girl and Ootani who is much shorter than the average guy. They are known as a Comedy Duo and they are constantly play tricks or making gags at the other’s expense. However, they soon learn that they have more in common then they first realized when their crushes end up falling for each other. Then as soon as they both start to realize that they might be falling for each other too the question of their mismatched heights comes up. Romance, Comedy, Height difference

Ouran High School Host Club (8/10) Haruhi is an insanely bright and gifted girl that just wants some peace and quiet. She sneaks into a music room to get alone and stumbles into the school’s host club. Frantically she tries to remove herself from the situation and shatters an expensive vase. Since she’s a scholarship student without a lot of money she doesn’t know how she’ll pay to replace the vase. However, the host club has an option for her. Join Haruhi as she meets a delight cast of male hosts that slowly find themselves changing due to Haruhi’s influence. Haruhi starts to learn about life outside of books and the boys learn to love someone. I love how relaxed this show is at times and how crazy the characters and situations are. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Skip Beat (9/10) Kyouko is willing to bend over backwards to help her childhood friend, Shou, in his dreams of becoming famous. Out of the goodness of her heart she helps him basically live his life. She thinks that they are perfect together then everything changes when she over hears him telling someone that Kyouko is like is his servant. Furious Kyouko stops supporting him and decides that if she built him to become a famous celebrity then she could do it for herself too. As she grows she meets someone that can help her not only gain her revenge on Shou but someone that might actually treat her right. This is an encouraging love story that shows that people that love you can bring out the best in you Romance, Comedy, Show Business, Revenge

Akagami no Shirayuki-hime (8/10) This is a modern retelling of Snow White, but this time with a twist: she has red hair. There are two season of this anime and if you love romance animes with a dash of adventure you’ll love this one. Shirayuki is a skilled herbalist who is noticed by a prince. Terrified that she’ll live a kept life she escapes and is rescued by Zen (who is adorable and perfect…goodness I love him!). Zen brings her to his castle and their life begins. Slowly friendship turns into romance. Romance, Adventure

Akatsuki no Yona (9/10) When I first read the synopsis of this I thought it was going to be one of those off animes that wouldn’t win me over, but I was wrong. This show introduces Yona who is the princess of a well off kingdom, but when the King is betrayed by Yona’s cousin Yona must act swiftly. She escapes danger with her bodyguard Hak (I think you mean Hunk—sorry lol). Together they team up to save Yona’s kingdom. Action, Adventure, Reverse Harem, Romance

Ao Haru Ride (8/10) After risking everything for a boy she met in a rain shelter, Futaba is ready to turn her life around in high school. She is determined to have friends and be liked by everyone. Her plan is foolproof until the boy she met returns and so do her feelings for him. However, he is different from the boy that had betrayed Futaba in the past. Together they need to learn more about themselves and each other. This show is emotional and shows the sacrifices we all make for those we love. School Life, Blooming Romance

Fruits Basket (9/10) This show has recently been rebooted and is expecting a second season. It tells the story of Honda who has lost her mother in an accident and goes to live with her grandfather. However, as renovations are being done at her house she lies to her grandfather and tells him that she’s going to live with a friend. When she is actually pitching a tent in the woods. The esteemed Souma family actually owns the woods that Honda hides in and the prince of the school Yuki Souma invites Honda to stay in his house, but the Souma’s have a secret. They are possessed by the Chinese Zodiac spirits, and will turn into their respective animals if they’re hugged by the opposite gender. This series is adorable and super fun to watch. The characters are all special in their own way. Comedy, Zodiac, Mystery, School Life, Supernatural, Romance

***Hotarubi no Mori e (10/10) I love this movie it is so beautiful. Hotaru has been fond of the mysterious tale of the mountain god since she was six and after she loses her way in the mountain forest, she stumbles into a masked spirit named Gin. Together they begin their unlikely friendship. Gin informs Hotaru that they can play together as long as she doesn’t get too close. They start to spend every summer together and Hotaru helps Gin learn what is means to be human and love someone. Soon they find that the distance that they are keeping between them is slowly shrinking. This movie is epically beautiful, romantic, and heart wrenching. Spirit, Supernatural, Romance

Ore Monogatari!! (10/10) Are you sick of the romance animes filled with beautiful girls and handsome princes? Well then it’s time to watch Ore Monogatari staring an unlikely anime pairing: Takeo Gouda and Rinko Yamato. Yamato is the definition of adorable and angelic; while Takeo struggles with love due to his tall and muscular build. Takeo’s appearance might be a little rough, but under it all he has a heart of gold. However, few ever see it since Takeo’s best friend Makoto is the definition of an anime prince. Without trying Makoto is a girl magnet and Takeo finds that people only talk to him to try and get close with Makoto. But when Takeo saves Yamato he instantly falls for her. He worries that she’s only being nice to him to gain Makoto’s love, but in truth she actually like Takeo and not Makoto. I love how this shakes up the romance genre and I love Makoto and Takeo’s friendship. Every time Yamato is on the screen I swoon. She is precious! Comedy, Friendship, Romance, First Love, Dorks

Your Lie in April (10/10) This is one of those romance animes that you hear rumors about. You know it will hurt you, but you have to watch it anyway because it’s a masterpiece. It is a truly enjoyable watch! Plus, the animation is breathtaking. Kousei is a great piano player and under the tutelage of his mother he excels in the competitions. Then his mother dies and Kousei turns from music and his world begins to turn grey. Until his world us turned upside down by Kaori, an outstanding violinist who is anything but traditional. She is free-spirited and challenges Kousei to join her in exploring music once more. Kousei starts to fall in love with music again and also finds himself falling for the girl that added color back into his world. Together they enhance each other’s musical ability and change each other’s lives. Music, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, School Life

***Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo (10/10) The last year is difficult for everyone, but for Makoto it is crazy since she can literally jump through time. She doesn’t really understand this new-found power and must learn how to control it. She fosters old and new relationships and might even fall in love, but with all time travel sacrifices must be made. I really don’t want to say too much because it could ruin the plot, but just trust me—watch it. Mystery, Supernatural, Time Travel, Romance

#anime recommendation #Romance anime #your lie in april #gekkan shoujo nozaki kun #Lovely Complex #ouran high school host club #skip beat #akagami no shirayukihime #Ao Haru Ride #Fruits Basket #Hotarubi no Mori e #ore monogatari #the girl who leapt through time

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bestygogirl · 5 months

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BEST YGO GIRL: Round 3, Group B

Match 3

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Aoi Zaizen

The show hates her but she is a very good character. Trickstars and Marincesses are both hella cool decks.

Aoi’s parents died when she was around 6 and she was mostly raised by her older brother. She’s the 2nd best Duelist in the VRAINS at the start of the series and over the course of the first season goes from being rather shy and only putting on a happy facade to a determined Duelist willing to risk her life to save the world. She even puts a stop to a virus that’s leaving people in comas.

Aoi gets two more avatars (Blue Girl and Blue Maiden) and also obtains a semi-magic AI named Aqua as her partner.

She never lets her trauma keep her down and was a huge inspiration for me in high school!

AOI ZAIZEN IS THE BEST GIRL! She's gonna sweep this whole tournament and here's why:

Is the peak YGO Girl who Deserved Better from the writers

Just a normal everyday girl IRL who secretly turns into an ultra bubbly sweetheart idol who everyone absolutely loves when in the virtual world.

Her VRAINS persona is extremely popular, and none of her fans know that she's just Some Girl.

Plays an idol deck with Trickstars (toxic meta combo not included)

Is sheltered by her overprotective older step-brother/guardian, but very quickly stands up for herself and what she believes is right.

Mutual protection with said step-brother is the sweetest thing ever, I love Aoi and Akira moments so much!

She does NOT fall head over heels for the main protagonist, but they do share a nice conversation and handshake as they become friends IRL (one of the best VRAINS scenes, honestly)

Absolutely wrecks Soulburner for like 99% of their duel, and only loses because the writers don't understand how to move a plot along if Soulburner doesn't win as many duels as possible

Duels two seasonal antagonists, and completely destroys them both before losing thanks to an OP anime card that will never see the light of day, and a one-off card made specifically to counter her strategy and have her lose.

Her first virtual avatar, Blue Angel, is inspired by the main character from her favorite childhood book. That's adorable!

Her main summoning chants are all about hopes, dreams, and believing in yourself.

In the English dub, she says "I could so swipe left on you right now" implying that Tinder exists in the Yu-Gi-Oh universe.

Never got the Magical Girl transformation sequence she deserved because the writers apparently were not aware that Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS is a Magical Girl show, despite the two main dudes getting that special treatment.

AOI ZAIZEN DESERVED BETTER! Give her what she deserves!

AND SHE'S A TRANS LESBIAN

Condemned Darklord

She literally could not catch a break during the forbidden items line of cards, but at least she has two gfs to match with her link form stole from God Himself FOUR times. iconic behavior honestly

#best ygo girl poll #round 3 #yugioh vrains #aoi zaizen #skye zaizen #yugioh tcg #condemned darklord #the bit is over you may safely vote for aoi #also i realized i could've done the same bit with her avatars so she's been upgraded to blue maiden

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restrainedubiquity · 3 years

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Die to Live

It’s been a minute. Anyone still reading Kabby?

Missing bunker scene. AO3 Link

“This is an ambush,” Jackson scrubs his hands over his face as he paces the empty infirmary waiting for Abby to respond to the emergency page he just called.

“It was your idea,” Marcus crouches down, placing his hand in the ice cold water and quickly pulling it out shaking water droplets everywhere.

“She’s going to hate us,” Jackson chances a glance down the still empty hall. She must have been on the upper levels. It normally doesn’t take her this long.

“Well, she already hates me,” Marcus sighs leaning against the wall, “we can start a club.” He forces the humor into his voice, but it falls flat. They're both terrified and they know it.

Abby rounds the corner breathless, stopping dead in her tracks when there is only an unscathed Marcus Kane standing in her infirmary. “What the hell is this?” she pants, eyes shooting daggers at both men. She rounds on Jackson when she gets no answers from Marcus. That’s when she sees it. The tub, the crash cart, the blankets and IV’s. Everything on Raven’s list needed to restart her brain. “No.” she says with a finger in Jackson’s face. She heads for the door, but Marcus blocks her way, locking them all in.

“Abby you need to do this,” Jackson is calm, he’s gone over this moment. “Take yourself out of the equation. If it was any other patient, if you’d been there with Raven…”

“If I’d been there with Raven I would have done everything in my power to find a way to help her other than killing her,” she doesn’t yell at him, but she’s right on the edge.

“We have. Abby, we’ve done everything, we’ve researched everything, tried everything. You know we aren’t going to find anything before…”

“Before you die,” Marcus cuts in. He agreed to let Jackson try to reason with her, but knew it wasn’t going to work. She wants a fight and he’ll give it to her. It’s all they do since she woke up in the bunker anyways. And as he’s proven, he’d rather her be alive to hate him. Marcus had been reluctant to go along with this plan. His trust in Raven is explicit, but any gamble with Abby’s life is not one he was willing to make. Was. Until the seizures got worse; until headaches had her curled up in a dark corner screaming into her knees; until she’d blacked out while they were making love. Jackson was right from the start when he told him that they had to do this for her.

“I’m still fighting this!” her palms slam into Marcus’ chest, but he holds his ground. “I’m fighting and you’re asking me to lay down and die! I won’t do that! I can’t do that!”

“I am asking you to let us fight for you. I am asking you to trust us. I am asking you to let the 3 people that love you save your damn life!” He grabs her arms harder than he intends, almost pulling her off her feet, but he’s fueled by frustration and fear. He won’t lose her to this, not when there’s a chance to save her. This is what he can do. His role in their plot. Raven gave the instructions, Jackson will ensure she wakes up, he has to kill her. “You understand that if you don’t do this you are going to die? You say you’re fighting this, but the resolution is right here and you’re running away from it. Why!?” He’s yelling in her face, shaking her.

“Because I’m scared!” she yells back, using his grip to pull herself level with his face. “I’m scared! I don’t know how to make you understand. I would rather be tortured than do this. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am scared.” She leans into him, face in his chest, fists full of his shirt.

“I know,” Marcus wraps his arms around her as her body shakes with sobs she won’t let loose. He holds her tight to his chest, sharing a long look with Jackson. They both know what needs to be done. They both knew it would inevitably come to this.

Kane pretends not to notice the way Jackson’s hands shake as he takes the sedative from his pocket. The last time he’d drugged her he hadn’t been himself. He’d watched his hand in horror as it plunged the needle into her neck. He’d watched her fall to the floor. She’s not his prisoner this time, but his patient. He won’t let himself think “colleague”, think “friend”, think “family.” Still, his eyes tear as he prepares to drug her again. Kane holds his gaze. A strong, steady reassurance that this must be done. His arms move smoothly up and down Abby’s back, holding, soothing, pulling her hair to the side just before Jackson’s injection pierces her skin.

She goes limp in his arms, harsh cries turning to steady exhales almost instantly. In one fluid, practiced motion Marcus lifts her to cradle in his arms. “We’re doing the right thing,” he assures the younger man and he carries her to the medical table and lays her down.

“We’re doing the right thing,” he is assured by the doctor that’s about to stop the heart of the woman he loves. Kill her to save her. Die to live.

As they remove her boots and outer layers of clothing, preparing to submerge her in the hastily built tank that's little more than a bathtub, both men silently pray to everything in the universe that this will not be the first time Raven Reyes is wrong. “I’ve got her,” Marcus stops Jackson with a firm grasp to his arm. “You have the hard part,” he tells him, knowing Abby’s life will be in his healing hands.

“I don’t know about that,” Jackson backs away, purposefully not watching as Marcus Kane, stoic leader, cries openly as he lowers Abby into the icy water.

“I love you,” he kisses into her forehead, supporting her neck as he lays her down. He doesn’t remove his hand, thumb rubbing steadily back and forth under her ear. Jackson considers for a moment telling him the risks. His doctor’s instinct to spare him the effects of frostbite and the like, but the greater part, the human part, hopes Abby feels the comfort.

She jerks in his hold once, body fighting for warmth and he squeezes the back of her neck, plunges his other arm into the water pushing gently against her chest to keep below the surface. She jerks again and he gives up all pretense of putting on a brave face. “Please, Abby,” he begs as she thrashes beneath him, blissfully unconscious, but still fighting. “Please,” he chokes out but it’s swallowed by sob. What else would he say? ‘Please die? Please let me kill you?’ It’s absurd, yet it’s exactly what he needs her to do.

She stills as the heart monitor screams; coming to life with her death. Jackson silences it quickly, though Marcus knows the sound will haunt his nightmares til the day he dies. There’s another beep. Without turning from her, he knows the timer has been started. Now they wait.

...

Jackson tries not to look at her. She looks almost angelic with her features lax, her hair floating around her like a chaotic halo. He can’t let himself think like that. Can’t focus on anything but the seconds he will have to bring her back. It will work. He’s told himself this a thousand times as he listened to Raven’s recorded instructions over and over until he committed the mechanic’s every breath to memory. Her last words echo in his mind: “Trust me, Eric. I love her too.” He’s holding on to that as he watches the minutes tick down, trying to keep himself together for Abby. Abby could do this for him without hesitation. Abby would trust Raven and she would trust herself. Jackson only has to do the same.

...

It’s the longest 15 minutes of Marcus Kane’s life. He can hear Jackson behind him. The younger man paces, checks and rechecks the equipment that will bring her back to him. Abby would be proud. He makes note to tell her of the younger man’s resolve, his confidence. Though Marcus has known Abigail Griffin his whole life-- the doctor, the councilwoman, the chancellor, the pain in his ass--it’s Jackson that's known Abby.

There’s been times he’s jealous of their connection. It’s almost psychic after spending countless hours working side by side. He’s watched them during crisis or surgery, so in sync they blur into one. But it’s the rare quiet moments when she’ll look at Jackson out of the corner of her eye and start laughing at a joke Marcus will never hear. Or the amount the young man says just in the way he says her name. The inflection of that one word tells her what would take Marcus hours to explain.

He wants more time. He wants a life with her that they can spend living and learning and fighting and loving. Side by side. “Please,” he begs her again, watching his tears make ripples as they fall into the water

“Thirty seconds,” Jackson comes closer to the tub, putting a hand on Kane’s shoulder as the older man moves his arm from Abby’s face to behind her knees. Ready to pull her out the second he’s allowed. The timer goes off with a quiet chime, but it sends both men into action as if it were a gunshot. Marcus pulls Abby out so quickly most of the frigid water comes with her. It covers him and the floor, but he doesn’t notice. Jackson is already on the other side of the table, removing the mask from Abby’s face before Marcus finishes laying her down. The paddles materialize in his hands and for the first time in the last 30 minutes, Marcus let’s go of Abby as the electricity courses through her.

Nothing.

Neither man speaks as Jackson brings the paddles to her chest again.

And again.

Marcus feels nothing. Emptiness consumes him as he watches Abby’s body jerk then go limp. He watches Jackson’s hands on the paddles, knuckles white as he shocks, adjusts, and shocks again. He can’t let himself think that this didn’t work, that they killed her. He killed her. His hands shake. The hands that lowered her into the water, held her down. Her body spasms again, so hard this time that her arm falls limply off the side of the table. “ABBY!” Jackson’s voice booms through the medbay, bouncing off the concrete. That meaning Marcus hears, that he understands, that he shares.

Her body jerks again, but this time there’s no current forced into it. Four hands are on her in seconds and the room fills with a chorus of “Abby’s” from both men. Marcus adjusts her body on the table, hand once again slipping behind her neck.

Jackson is staring at monitors, inserting IV’s, checking vitals, and nodding to himself. “Blankets,” he tells Marcus and from his tone it’s not the first time he’s said it. This time he is the one to lift her from the table, placing her on the nearby bed. “Take your clothes off and lay with her,” he instructs. It would sound absurd to both men if it hadn’t been delivered in the doctor’s no nonsense tone that he definitely learned from the woman lying between them. Marcus obeys, pulling off his soaked through sweater and pants and spooning behind her carefully avoiding the fluids warming her from the inside. Jackson nods at the monitors again once his patient’s are securely tucked in. He can see Marcus’ eyes frantically darting from him to the monitors, to the woman in his arms, and that he’s resisting the urge to ask a thousand questions. “Little bit longer,” he says, not needing to turn from watching the steady rise of body temperature to see Marcus nod into Abby’s neck.

She doesn’t gasp for breath. She doesn’t call out either of their names. It’s nothing so dramatic. It’s a soft moan as her body shivers, pressing her back more securely to his chest, the warm exhale against the arm under her head as she sighs contentedly in the cocoon they’ve made her, and the twitch of a smile on her lips as Marcus tightens his hold.

“We’ll have to do another scan when she’s warmer to make sure it worked. But for now, she should sleep. Both of you should.” Jackson brushes the fingertips that peak out from the blanket with his own before tucking them in. It’s the first time he’s allowed himself to touch Abby, not his patient. To see Abby instead of a problem to solve.

“Thank you, Eric,” Marcus’ voice shakes as he once again holds Jackson’s gaze. He wants to hug the man. At the very least to shake his hand. And he will when this is over. When Abby is warm, and awake, and not in danger of leaving them anytime soon.

“Yeah,” is all Jackson can say as he dims the lights on the infirmary and makes his way back to the offices. He barely makes it to the chair before he finally feels everything he had to force back. His chest hurts as harsh cries rip free. The tears and sweat and spit follow until he’s nothing but an exhausted mess slouched over the desk.

…

“You should get some proper rest.” Jackson’s senses stir at the voice above him, but he doesn’t have the energy to move. His head is tucked in his arms making everything dark and muffled. “Eric.” The voice is close now and there’s a strong hand pulling at his shoulder. He’s forced up, blinking rapidly to adjust to the fluorescent lights.

“Abby?” he stands so quickly the room spins and it’s the woman he shocked back to life hours ago that holds him steady.

“Hi,” she says smiling brightly. She’s dressed in dry clothes, hair pulled back in a mess of waves.

“For the record, I told her not to wake you up,” Marcus steps into the doorway, also dressed and dry. “I also told her to stay in bed.”

“We need to do an MRI you should be resting you probably need more fluids you…” it comes out in a rush of frantic breath that she silences with a fierce embrace. Arms tight around his shoulders with her forehead pressed to his neck. “Abby,” he whispers against her as his arms mirror her own, holding her tightly. Once again, one word says it all.

…

Marcus steps away, shutting the door behind him. He’s had his moment. Abby had turned in his arms, opened her eyes and kissed him like she had on lazy mornings in Polis. He doesn’t need a scan to know their risk was worthwhile. Her eyes were bright and filled with the fire he hadn’t seen in months. I love you too, she’d told him as she watched his mind try to work through explanations and apologies for how she’d woken up, for what they’d done. She settled back against his chest and for a blissful moment, let him hold her. He knew they still had a lot to talk about, a lot to work through since he trapped her with him, but she loves him, she’s safe. That’s enough for now.

#kabby fanfiction #kabby #abby griffin #marcus kane #eric jackson #the100

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p-artsypants · 3 years

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List of All My Fics!

Every once in a while, I’ll update this list and share it. It is always available on my blog! (I’m up to 54 fics for multiple fandoms! 😱)

Find most, if not more, of these fics on:

Fanfiction.net | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad

(~AU’s, *Finished, ❤️Author’s Favorites)

Kingdom Hearts

~❤️Rage Awakened AO3 | FF.net- Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

My Kingdom for a Heart AO3 | FF.Net - The curse of being one of the Princesses of heart, is that there’s always someone out to get you. As Xemnas looked failure in the face, he reached out in a last ditch effort and destroyed Kairi’s heart. Now her friends must travel the worlds again. Sora, to find a way to recover Kairi’s heart, and Riku, to make amends to those he has wronged. All the while, the darkness grows.

Miraculous Ladybug

One Shots

*❤️Amalgam- When an young man is rejected for being ‘incompatible’ he turns into the akuma ‘Amalgam’ able to fuse two people together. And later Adrien and Marinette would debate if it was lucky or unlucky that they got hit. (Also Available in Russian)

*Sing We All Noel- After receiving the worst Christmas present ever from his father, Chat Noir finds himself out on the streets with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Ladybug finds him and brings him home.

*Speechless- In a world where everyone has a soulmark, the first words their soulmate will say to them, Marinette is born without one. But Adrien Agreste has two. Curious, considering he’s mute.

*❤️Tunnels of Love- The night started out with an accidental kiss from Adrien Agreste, and ended with her bleeding in the Catacombs of Paris. Ladybug, the wielder of the miraculous of good luck. Yeah right. (Some blood)

*The Reveal That Wasn’t- First Parts My ending to kittybug’s Tumblr Prompt

*What A Mess We’re In- Ladybug has a lot on her mind, and when Chat Noir bugs her enough, she tells him she’s going to confess to her Crush, Adrien Agreste. Chat’s reaction is not what she’s expecting.

*Oblivi-oh no! - A retelling of Oblivio, except Ladybug is the only one to lose her memory. How will Chat deal?

*Bad Day (3 chapters) - Marinette was Ladybug! This was Adrien’s luckiest day ever! Except it wasn’t, because all his good luck was used up in one go. Turns out this might be the worst day of his life.

*One Win, So Many Losses- Marinette was forced to break up with Adrien. It had been a low blow from Gabriel, to be sure. But she was Ladybug. She’d find a solution…right? An alternate ending to Chat Blanc, where Adrien doesn’t Cataclysm the akuma.

*Five Minutes- Gabriel has had enough of all these girls fighting over Adrien. He decides it’s high time Adrien picks one, and arranges the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Each candidate has five minutes to present why they’d be a good girlfriend. Marinette decides to take this opportunity to shoot her shot.

~*Panache- Every eligible maiden was invited to the Prince's ball. That included Marinette, scullery maid in her own household. But her stepsisters destroyed her dress, and she can't go to the ball in rags. Or can she? (Cinderella!AU)

*Perfect, No Matter What-In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice.

Long Fics

*❤️Longest Night- (FF.net | Ao3) - The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. (Rated M for scenes of torture)

*❤️Nine Lives- (FF.net) When Adrien Agreste is scheduled to go to a Military School in Germany, Chat Noir must make a critical decision. Does he give up his Miraculous? Or does he give up his life as Adrien? I’ll save you the trouble of guessing, he gives up being Adrien.

*Tender Words- When Marinette finally gets the guts to confess her feelings for Adrien, some things go so wrong, and other things go so right.

*Integrity- Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.

~Much Obliged- Everyone deals with grief differently. Some take to drinking, others devote themselves to charity. Adrien Agreste? Well, he became a cowboy. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a witch, one of very few in the world. She knows what it's like to be doubted, and assumed delusional. Maybe that's why they got along so well. Or maybe it's just because they both like big hats. AU where everything is the same, except instead of superheroes, Adrien is a Cowboy and Marinette is a witch. (Unfinished) (Based on a AU by @bugaboo-n-bananoir)

I'll Handle This- “I’ll solve all your problems,” Plagg had said. “You just have to agree to it.” A fixed relationship with his father, Lila to stop bothering him, and Ladybug to fall in love with him? Who wouldn’t agree to that? Except Plagg was the God of Destruction and Chaos and had a more…hands-on approach. Adrien just wants his body back. (Body swap fic)

How To Train Your Dragon

One Shots

The Vikings Have Their Tea (FF.Net | AO3)

Arranged Marriage- Takes place at the beginning of HTTYD

❤️Breathe- Survival of the fittest

~Childhood Friends- At the Sandbox

❤️Easy Fix- In which Hiccup has a bad day

~Fashion Designer- Astrid needs a fill in

❤️Frozen- In Which Astrid takes a Dip and things get frisky (Rated M)

❤️Headache- In Which Hiccup hits his head….really hard

❤️Heir- In Which Hiccup is Picked (Longer version by FateCharms)

Illness- In Which Stoick is a dad

~Illusionist- Trick gone wrong

~In the Walls- In which there’s a poop ghost

~Knocking On The Wrong Door (2) - A chance encounter

❤️Messages- Astrid is Frustrated with Hiccup’s obliviousness

~To Mirkwood- Hiccup is not a dwarf

~Monster Falls- Hiccup and Astrid take a dip

❤️Mute- In which there’s a quiet stranger

~Music Video (ImgHS)- He didn’t expect it

❤️Operation: Lovebirds- In Which the gang makes a plan, and Hiccup gets Drunk

~Over- Too many nightmares

~Partners in Crime- A normal day at work

~Pirate- Astrid is the greatest treasure

~Prince- He doesn’t want to be a broken King

❤️Sorting Things Out- In Which Astrid gets her ducks in a row

~The Dragon and The Dame- Beauty and the Beast Au

The Pit- In Which Hiccup is rescued

Hide and Seek- Part 1

Lost and Found- Part 2

Long fics:

*❤️Infernal Responsibility- Being the son of the chief takes brains, courage, and a lot of patience. But at his father’s the request for marriage, Hiccup decides he has had enough. When he seeks out a life of ease, he runs into more than what he bargained for.

*❤️Roses and Lilies- “Astrid, you and I both know you’re much tougher than I am. You’re more brave, and a better fighter…but just for a little while…could we pretend that I’m the one protecting you?” “Oh gods yes!” (Also Available in Spanish!)

*~What the Water Gave Me- The sea is a wild and dangerous thing, something that cannot be foretold or predicted. Hiccup discovered this many years ago, in human naiveté. Yet, what was meant as a sacrifice became a new life, one like no one could comprehend. He now finds himself once more in the unknowing hands of those that sentenced him to death. He only prays things will be different this time. Merman!AU

*Parasite- Soulsnatcher Dragons are rare but deadly. But, As Hiccup finds out, it’s the eggs you have to watch out for.

*~320 State Street- Gobber’s Goods. A Hardware Store that was rumored to have everything you needed. She thought she only needed a job. Turns out, she needed a lot more than that. (A Modern AU no one asked for)

*~❤️The North Tower- When Finn Hofferson died, Astrid inherited his castle in Wales…and a whole lot more. Something sinister lurks in the North Tower.

*~❤️Boy Toy- AO3 - At the age of 21, Princess Astrid lawfully has to pick a husband. But when the perfect groom is nowhere to be found, she requests the toymaker to create one for her. It’s safe to say that everyone in the kingdom is a little concerned. (Pinocchio!AU I guess?)

No, You Go First- AO3 - The Chief of Berk was a headstrong viking, stubborn and full of pride, and willing to do whatever it takes to keep his village safe. But for a moment, he puts that aside, and listens to his son. In which Hiccup convinces his dad not to make him go through Dragon Training, and the subsequent changes that follow.

*In Due Time- AO3 - As another illness sweeps through Berk, Gothi needs another ingredient for her medicine…one that doesn’t exist anymore. Fortunately, she kept that old spell book around for such an occasion. Big Hiccup is sent to five years into the past, and his younger self sent to take his place in the future. But it’s only a few days, what could go wrong?

Trollhunters: Tales from Arcadia

❤️Arcadia or Bust- In Which Arcadia welcomes back it’s underground citizens.

Teen Titans

Oneshots:

~Big Brother- Don’t turn out the light (Horror)

Dear Jason- Bruce Writes a letter

Just Drawing- Bruce thinks about Robin

The Prisoner- Starfire is Guilty

Of Mustard and Three Foot Purple Tongues- A collection of Oneshots and Drabbles

Long Fics (*Finished):

*~❤️Carol of the Bells- High in the dark Bell Tower of Notre Dame, there lives a mysterious bell ringer. Legend tells of the angel who fell from the sky, and the curse she bares. There are few who know her true identity though; her master, the priest, and the acrobat that performs on the streets below. Based loosely on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ RobxStar and slight BBxRae

*No Escape- Three years ago, Starfire escaped an Alien race called the Gordanians, to arrive on Earth. They’re back, and ready to put Starfire back where she belongs, behind reinforced Titanium bars. Robin’s not about to let her go…if only he hadn’t got captured first. How does it feel to be the alien, Robin?

*Now you Know My Pain- When the new Villain, Gender Bender, comes to down, the Titans find themselves in an odd situation. They’ve been turned into the opposite gender against their will! Now in order to change back, they must learn to understand the gender they’ve turned into. Rated T for obvious reasons. A great read if you’ve ever wondered why girls or guys do [blank].

*Paint it Black- Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City’s crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a relation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself? Actually, contains NO OC.

*Saving Grace- “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk upright or speak coherent sentences and all you’ll see is my mask and my voice repeating in your head…Weak. Richard Grayson, I am not tough, I am everything that you fear.” Happy Ending! Smudge of RobStar. NO Slash!

Other Fandoms

Final Fantasy XV

❤️Requiem for Pitioss-“O King. The god’s have heard your cries. Know that we weep with you. The Oracle’s calling has not yet been fulfilled. But…Lunafreya as you know her cannot return the way she was.” Noctis looked up, hopeful. “But she can return!” Canon divergence from Chapter 9. Happy ending. Some spoilers.

Beauty and the Beast

*❤️Behold the Beast- A Oneshot alternate ending to the Animated Film

Cinderella

*❤️Midnight- “When the clock strikes twelve, the spell will be broken,” the fairy godmother had warned. A retelling of the story, when Cinderella doesn’t escape the ball in time. Oneshot

*So This is Love- What if Jaq and Gus hadn’t made it in time to help Cinderella? A new twist on the ending of the classic Fairytale, and what lies beyond the story. She still gets her happy ending and her Prince, and her step family gets their just deserts.

Sleeping Beauty

*❤️A Love Song Back To Me- Maleficent saw the loophole that stared her in the face. Prince Phillip would break the curse in time, for sure. After all, he was betrothed to Aurora. So in an effort for her evil plan to stay in action, Maleficent takes care of the young prince herself. Phillip never imagined having to live off the land like the birds above. Alternate twist on the classic Disney tale.

Escaflowne

Down Feathers- Hitomi’s depressed. She’s been away from Van too long, he comes back to visit her…but what if something went wrong with the transfer? (Not finished. Never will be finished. Mwahaha) Circa 2012

*Angel’s Wounds- Fanelia’s been victorious in their most recent battle with Basrum. Unfortunately, someone is wounded and just seeks solace in his love that lives so far away. Post Anime.

Momma Look Sharp- With the war between Fanelia and Basrum finally coming to a close, the kingdom is celebrating. The young king, however, is suffering from an experience unlike any he had before. Van finally seeks solace in his wife.

#kingdom hearts #miraculous ladybug #ml #kh #disney #httyd #how to train your dragon #Teen Titans #sleeping beauty #cinderella #escaflowne #trollhunters #toa #beauty and the beast #fanfiction

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casmybelovedass · 3 years

Text

The Destiel Folder: Season 10

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]

Episode 1:

Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"

... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING

Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!

So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).

At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them

And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"

Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...

Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me

Episode 2:

Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit

I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:

"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)

METAPHOR

Episode 3:

We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)

This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)

"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?

"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)

Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW

"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean

BITCH OKAY!!

SAM KNOWS

POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"

Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:

Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.

Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH

"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")

The way they are looking at each other here... man.

Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.

"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.

In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...

Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone

Episode 4:

"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE

Episode 5:

Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?

I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:

"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."

THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)

Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright

... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE

SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]

"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!

Episode 7:

Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)

Episode 9:

(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)

"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!

"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED

As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough

Episode 10:

Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)

This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)

"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT

Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD

Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband

Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)

Episode 11:

[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]

Episode 14:

Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend

This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)

Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]

"You're living my life in reverse [...]

First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"

AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!

Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)

Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)

Episode 16:

This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.

He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...

Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.

"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.

Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?

ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas

"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about

6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",

7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or

9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"

ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS

THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!

Episode 17:

About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that

"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈

Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?

Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES

Facts, my people. Facts

Episode 18:

"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)

Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)

To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it

Episode 20:

A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)

Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also

"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD

Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY

A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:

"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)

Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)

Episode 22:

C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)

#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!

"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA

This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)

Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)

I hate this scene. (40:11)

Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.

The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.

And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]

Parallel to 8x07:

The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.

"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.

Episode 23:

You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion

As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)

(This gif is not mine)

Well... what a season.

[Season 11>>]

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